#id let him yap to me for hours

[mac33cheese]

I was so sad when I could barely find akechi touma fan art because he's my 2nd favorite character of all time

But then I saw the tdlosk community on this app and almost every tdlosk account I've seen likes akechi and it made me so happy

He deserves all the love 🫶🫶

[bi-ss]

~ Ties that bind ~

Bucky x reader- arranged marriage.

Summary: You agreed to arrange marriage when you were little, after seeing who you are to marry. You wish you could go back.

Warning- drinking? None i can't think of.

(Spelling may be bad as I'm very dyslexic sorry in advance)

You've been staying in your bestfriends apartment for 2 days now, you've just had more time to think about what will become of your life, you didn't get as many texts from James as you thought when you went to bed around 11PM but oh lord when you woke up it wouldn't stop going off, in all truth your phone died and you fell asleep with it on charge.

"Omg, would you turn that off.. It's 6:30, i love you, but not that much.." your friend groaned as she walked over to your phone to turn it off seeing you still in your make shift bed, you were about to get up and go get coffee but a 'huh' your friend made caught your attention.

"What? If it's something stupid, imma smack you so hard.." You look at your now bright screen to see unread texts coming through from an unknown caller, you picked it up and started reading some, with her reading over your shoulder, your were confused at first because you didn't know who it was but when finding out who thought it would be an amazing idea to text you at an ungodly time, but you soon figured it out, it was james.

You were annoyed at not only did he get home at 1am close to 2 so you would have been there for hours on your own but because he was the last person you wanted to talk to.

Rolling your eyes you went on with your life, making and drink a cup of coffee then getting ready to attend a fashion show, you weren't walking but you were invited with front row seats and couldn't pass it up, and there was have after party which you managed to get your friend into aswell somehow, so a minimum of 6 hours away from James and all the stress in the world.

"I wonder if theres cute guys there? I hope so. Ugh, after me and Josh broke up, I've been so lonely.. in bed, of course, i dont want commitment!" You watch as your best friend since college, Chloe, yapped about boys while realising for the 4th time today what's going to change when you marry James, "have you seen Joshs new girlfriend, I think we went to high school with her.. shes nice..." As she continues to gossip while doing makeup, you zone out and think about your life until she claps, getting your attention once again, "you know what?! I'm happy for Josh. I'm happy being single. He's happy being non single." She smiled at you."You should be happy you're marrying one of the most richest and most powerful men in America, probably the world, maybe.." You just nod and smile at her. You don't know if you are smiling because she's smiling or if what she said was correct, you're sure you'll find out.

While driving to the fashion show, the topic of James was brought up, "if I were marrying him, I'd be in his bed so fast," Chloe stated for the 38th time. "Is it true? The rumours about his arm, that's is.. no doubt the rumours about his dick aren't false -" You zone out from your friends rant about James when your phone screen lit up from a text... his text.. one after the other..

You zoned back in to hear chloe talking about Zeon. In all fairness, you didn't know who he was, but also, she hadn't spoken about him til now, or you think so? You were about to ask who he was until you see a modern building with lots of windows and a weird looking woman statue but with no curves and all straight lines and spikes, it did make you uncomfortable in an unspeakable way but you got out of the car and walked past it while looking down, you walked up to the bouncer you, showing your Ids and was let in, after the man blocking the door with a clipboard questioned chloe about if she was in the right place or not.

You were seated towards the end of the runway, which you didn't mind, but what you did mind was the constant camera flash some for the models but mostly for you.. that isn't helping you stay away from James, but you do like attention. The event was over later than you expected as some older women went on a rant about how fashion changed and how it was disturbing now or whatever.

You parked in a 24/7 parking zone and walked a little over 10 minutes for the after party that was already in full swing when you got there, heading straight towards the bar with chloe walking close behind to order a mocktail since you dont drink often but over to your left chloe was downing tequila shots like water, that wasn't surprising but what was surprising was when she ordered a cocktail and sent it your way, she knows you don't drink but looking around and seeing all the lady's glancing at you knowingly you thought this was one of the rare occasions where you will drink, and drink you did.

You knew from the start that marrying James Barnes wouldn't be easy from all his "fans" who are just girls throwing themselves on him but finding out he has a girlfriend? A whole other can of worms you didn't realise opened but the girls at this club were a new level of bitchy, like one tried spilling her red wine on you but ended up missing and it went over the lad next to you who weren't amused at all or when you were dancing with chloe and some other chick tried tripping you but you stepped over her foot unknowingly but 30 seconds later you did almost trip yourself up, but that's about the last thing you remember apart from getting more drink and getting hit on some else happening then dancing on someone or dancing on your companion.

But you do know 1 thing for certain is that you've woken up with a massive banging head ache in a warm bed, half dressed and with what you assumed someone sleeping next to you as they haven't moved, unless they're watching you sleep?

(Lol sorry i hadn't been posting i just moved, lmao, so that's taken most of my time)

TAGS: @learis @unaxv @cjand10 @pattiemac1 @coffee-winter-and-silence @scott-loki-barnes @blackhawkfanatic

[limerenze]

odds and ends - adrian pucey

[Adrian Pucey x Fem!Reader]

masterlist

Summary; adrian needs a getaway pick me up and seeks refuge in the three broomsticks for it, behind the bar? is y/n.

Word Count; 1.3k

A/N; i have somewhere im going with this i promise. pls stick with me on this one its gonna be good i think. also i wrote most of this on a ft call with the loml @loverssfevers , i figured id mention since shes my MUSE

Warnings; angst kinda but not really, fluff kinda but not really, unedited (whats new)

Dates Written; August 3rd - August 6th, 2022

The air in the pub was stale, which was unusual for the Three Broomsticks. Y/N wasn't used to it being so quiet.

The air was stuffy, as usual. But the pub was lacking the too-many wizards packed in far too tightly. She usually loathed it, but the atmosphere wasn't right without them all. It wasn't exactly right without their noise to fill the room.

Being around all the obnoxious wizards made her forget how utterly lonely she was.

Now, that wasn't to say the pub was empty. No, in all her time working under Rosmerta’s wing- Y/N had never seen the place empty. A few wizards staggered around. As the night drew on, they trickled out slowly.

The ones who remained were only staying because they had nowhere else to go, nowhere else to be.

That remained true until one young wizard walked in. The bell on top of the door clanged and the rumble roared throughout the wooden beams of the building.

“We’re closed! Do you know what time it is!” the shrunken heads barked at the wizard with the tired eyes.

“Bullocks, this place doesn't close! And I can see people sitting all around the pub!” He barked back at them, without missing a beat. 

They gasped in offence and began to shout back at him before Y/N piped up, “Enough! Do you know what time it is? I've been standing behind this bar since dinner time and I haven't stopped listening to your yapping all night! Let the man through!”

Y/N would be on their bad side for the next few days, but that felt good to let out.

She hated the shrunken heads. And their yapping.

The man emerged into the light of the pub from the dark entryway, Y/N watched as the fluorescents danced on his high cheekbones. She watched, no- watched wasn't the right word. 

It wasn't the right word to describe the way he lit up the entire room with his beauty. The expression he wore was dull, the bags under his eyes weighed tons and tons- but the pink tint he wore across his cheeks and nose contrasted against them and worked to cancel them out.

He was so breathtaking.

So Y/N did not simply watch him, no. Y/N experienced him.

That’s how it felt anyway.

As he shuffled further into the pub, beelining for a seat at the bar in front of Y/N- her hands grew clammy with nerves. She didn't want him to see her, not under the bright and harsh lights- not in any lights. However, he looked divine under the white hue.

He looked divine under any light. He was Adrian Pucey.

There was no way she could serve him without him seeing her, and she was the only one working. It was the one night she shooed off Betty, her co-worker- without a second thought. So she was alone, alone until Rosmerta started. And she didn't have much time to create a game plan, so she did the only thing she could think of.

She turned her back to him. She faced the shelves and grabbed anything she could to look busy. Y/N re-polished glasses with the clean rag. Even though she polished them an hour ago.

“Hello?” he spoke. His tone was one much softer than the one he used when he first came through the heavy wooden door. “Ya’think I could just get a Swott?” he asked politely as he found comfort on one of the stools.

Y/N hummed in response, letting out a quiet but mildly squeaky: ‘mhm’. Y/N reached for the bottle of malt whiskey. It wasn't ordered too often, it was a bit on the higher-end side. Unsurprising for the man sitting in front of her. Or, behind her- really.

Her fingers traced the rim of the short, square glass and she poured a few inches into the bottom. She hoped that Adrian was not paying attention, so he wouldn't see the way she had to take a deep breath to face him.

Slowly, as if it was some sort of reveal- she turned toward him with his drink in hand. His neck craned up to look at her, she offered him a small smile- a bit of an awkward one, and grabbed a coaster from under the bench. Y/N placed it in front of him and set the glass on top of it. 

The bar was a hundred years old, and Rosmerta would crush her if she came into the pub in the morning to a white ring on the wood from a wet glass.

She would crush her, then she would fire her. And Y/N didn't know which was worse, so it was best to just give the drinkers their coasters.

Y/N searched for something in Adrian’s dark eyes. They weren't dark with emotion, although, actually maybe they were. They weren't dark with anger or malice. Adrian’s eyes were dark with colour and pigment. They were all but black holes and they were mesmerizing.

Y/N swore she could look into them forever. She cut herself off when she realized nothing in the boys eyes changed when he saw her. There was no glint, no recognition, no nothing.

She was worried a small fire would ignite in her chest with anger, but it was smouldered out by her sheer disappointment. He didn't know her, he didn't recognise her.

But then again, why would he?

She turned her back to him once again, going back to polishing the already perfect and pristine glasses. 

She didn't know what she thought. “Sorry” Adrian trailed off, trying to get her attention. “Do you uh-”

He sounded embarrassed. What he possibly could be embarrassed by was beyond her. She was a barmaid, she had seen far too many things in the four walls of this building for anything Adrian Pucey does to phase her.

Actually, that's a lie. 

Everything Adrian Pucey does phases her, it's been that way for as long as she could remember. From the moment she saw him across the foyer in Hogwarts, outside the great hall as they waited patiently to be sorted. To now, as she kept her back to him because- although all she wanted during her years of knowing him was for him to notice her, to see her? She couldn't handle any of that right now. 

“Do you mind, just leaving the bottle?” he finished. Y/N didn't argue, it was against policy but she was trying to limit the interactions between them as much as possible. So, she left the bottle of Swott Malt Whiskey on the bench in front of him.

Much like the other girls they went to school with, all she knew was what it was like to crave the most sought-after boy, dressed in green and silver’s attention. And tonight? She could not handle the weight on her back of knowing what it would be like to finally, actually have it.

Not that her having Adrian’s attention in the way she always dreamed of having it was in the realm of possibility tonight. Honestly, there was no way. She told herself it was crazy to even think about. 

He didn't even recognise her. He didn't even know her. 

She shouldn't have been surprised, and maybe she wasn't. It would've been more of a shock if Adrian Pucey did know her. She can't recall a single time when her name rolled off his tongue. Did he even know her name? She can hardly remember a single interaction they had with one another. 

Her mind was spiralling at a million miles per second. She was so lost in her thoughts- from the outside, it looked like there was a really stubborn smudge on the glass based on how harshly she was rubbing the cup with the soft cloth. Her mind was so far away that she couldn't hear him.

She couldn't hear his soft and buttery voice calling out for her. She couldn't hear him at all. 

“Y/N?” 

Until she could.

-

ALL FICS TAGLIST

@ghostofscarley @i-love-scott-mccall @lilyswh0re @loverssfevers @kandy1410 

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@the-slytherin-girl @accio-samulet @lilytoyourjames​ @coffeehurricane @solacestyles​

join my taglist <3

[sokkabeifong]

Can you write some tokka angst 🙏

ofc I can anon and IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE but better late than never I guess. this is set in modern times because modern times are fun to write for tokka okay? a bit longer than usual but the more angst the better am I right

Toph had promised Sokka that she’d go to the hospital when it happened, so that’s exactly what she’d done. She hadn’t promised that she’d actually get anyone’s attention. Or check in. Or ask for help.

Although… the contractions were getting more insistent, and she doubted the medical staff would leave her alone if she stripped off the stupid maternity pants and just squatted down right there on the lobby floor.

With a heavy sigh, she waddled her way over to the nearest front desk. Spirits, she hadn’t been in a hospital in years. She wasn’t even sure what the different branches and buildings and desks were all for. But there was no way that she was giving birth at home. Katara was in medical school, sure, but she wasn’t done. And Toph wasn’t about to risk her life and her child’s life for a “practice trial.”

Still, there was something unnerving about the hospital, with its stuffy feeling and too-squeaky floor. It feels clean, clean in a way that you can just sense. She didn’t need sight to tell her just how antibacterial this place was.

A pinging, traitorous part of her wishes that someone was here with her, that she didn’t have to do this alone. But it was her own stupid pride that had taken a cab all alone in a Wednesday night, and the only person she truly wanted present was somewhere she could never get him back from. She’d promised him before he died that she would go to the hospital if she felt even the slightest change. He wanted her to be safe, he said.

And now, of course, Sokka was dead and gone while she was here, swollen belly stretching out her sweater and maternity pants. As much of an annoyance as labor would be, getting the thing out of her was going to be a blessing. She’d spent too long unbalanced and vulnerable to attack.

“Can I help you?”

Toph was broken out of her musings by the question from someone sitting at the closest desk. She turned her head to where she hoped the person, a woman by the sound of it, would be.

“I hope so,” she smiled, falling back into a generic cover ID face. “I should probably see a doctor.”

“All right,” said the woman. She heard the clicking of nails on a keyboard, then something sliding across the desk. “Why don’t you take one of these forms, fill it out, and bring it back here?”

“Can’t ,” she said shortly. “I’m blind.”

“No worries.” The woman clicked her pen open like she had blind pregnant ladies come into the ER every day. Who knew - maybe she did. “I’ll ask you the questions and you answer, okay?”

“Okay.” Toph winced as another contraction hit her. At least the protruding baby bump gave her something to lean against. She made sure to breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth as the woman began questioning her, just as Katara had instructed her to do. I’m a few hours, the whole thing would be over and then - she bit her lip and redirected her thoughts.

She wished Sokka was -

She redirected that thought, too.

“Reason for your visit?” the woman asked, yapping the pen against the clipboard.

Toph waited a moment before she turned around yet again, because she was in the middle of another contraction and couldn’t decide whether she’d rather scream or just go ahead and kill the lady.

“My contractions are about eight minutes apart,” she said.

The lady blinked once and then repeated, “They’re eight minutes apart from each other? So you’re in labor. Are you in active labor?”

Toph smiled sweetly. “Are you asking me to stick my fingers down and see whether or not I’m dilated to seven centimeters?”

To the woman's credit, the crudity didn't seem to faze her, and she plowed ahead with, “Ma’am, this is the ER. We’re not equipped for a birth. I’ll call you a wheelchair immediately, and we’ll get you up to Labor and Delivery. Trust me, it’ll be faster than checking in here and waiting for a transfer.”

“Where’s Labor and Delivery?”

“Fourth floor, and I -”

“I’ll just walk over there. It’s fine.”

“Ma’am, I really must insist. You’ve technically checked in—” she waved the yellow paper “—and you’re our responsibility now.”

Toph leaned heavily against the counter and deftly snatched the page out of the woman’s hand. At least her coordination was still functional.

“There. Now I didn’t check in, and I’m my own problem.”

“Ma’am, please. You’re in no condition to go wandering the hospital, whether you take that against your pregnancy or your eyesight. Let me just call someone to wheel you over.”

Luckily for the woman, another contraction rendered her unable to give a snappy retort. She waited for it to pass, quietly, quickly, then faced the lady once more.

“Fine,” she said tightly. “Fine. Fine.”

“Thank you,” the lady said, obviously relieved. Apparently she did not deal with stubborn blind pregnant women on the daily.

By the time she had been put in a wheelchair and taken through the long halls and winding corridors to Labor and Delivery, Toph had managed to calm herself down. Not because the situation was in any way calming, but because she’d stressed her body and mind out enough that she’d fallen into full-blown mission mode.

Which was fine. It’d probably be easier to give birth with that attitude.

“Well, you seem pretty together, Toph,” the nurse gushed as she checked in yet again at the front desk. “We’ll get you back as soon as possible. For now, if you can just take a seat in one of those chairs, and listen for your name.”

Toph let her real self fade into the background, giving over control to the five other women sitting in the waiting room, and promptly closed her eyes. If she was going to be in pain, she might as well rest while she could.

-

The calm blind girl out in the lobby was already a topic of discussion.

It wasn’t completely unheard of for someone to come in alone. Life was weird and sometimes people gave birth without anyone they knew to help them through the experience. But this girl? The calm young girl with ebony in her hair and in her eyes wasn’t any of the typical stories. She was clean and put together. She was calm and young and looked like the kind of person who would have a dozen friends by her side, even if the father of the child was no longer in the picture.

And yet, there she sat. First in the waiting room and then in her hospital room.

Alone.

Moreover, Miss Toph Beifong had claimed on her paperwork that her contractions were now five minutes apart. However, she was sitting too calmly for that. In fact, the nurse had sat with phone in hand and timed out more than ten minutes, and the girl hadn’t moved once. She’d sat there calmly. No wincing, no cursing, no crying.

It wasn’t until the nurse pulled the woman back and got down to take a look that anyone believe the claim at all.

"Shit,” the nurse murmured.

The doctor startled and glanced up to see if Toph had been offended by the curse. Fortunately, the girl seemed more concerned with how many fingers she had, and didn’t seem to have heard.

“What?” the doctormurmured, more quietly.

“Her cervix is nine centimeters,” the nurse answered.

“Shit,” the doctor echoed.

-

By the end of it all, Toph had decided she did not like labor. She’d made that decision before she began crowning, and nothing that followed did anything to change that. While she had experienced worse pain in her life, she had never experienced that kind of pain.

She had once spent four straight hours being absolutely crushed by a girl at the gym and, at the peak of labor, she was pretty sure she’d trade out that experience for her current one.

Nevertheless, she didn’t scream. She screwed up her eyes and doubled her body up and flexed her fingers. Tears leaked from her eyes from the sheer stress of it all. But her lips remained tightly closed. The skin around them grew white from where she bit them between her teeth, and the nurses were afraid she’d draw blood.

One well-intentioned nurse had advised that she just give in and cry out.

Toph had rolled her eyes, widened her legs, and pushed again.

In the end, nature was inevitable. Toph had always had someone to remind her to take good care of her body, so the whole experience was over in a few hours. She collapsed back against the wet bedding. There was sweat and blood and who-knew-what all over her, and she’d probably never feel clean again.

There was screaming in the background, and her eyes finally focused on the small infant being washed by the hospital staff.

Then her view was cut off by the ring of congratulating nurses.

“It’s a beautiful girl. Do you have the name ready for her?”

“Call it Toph, for all I fucking care,” Toph murmured, too quietly for anyone to make out. She turned over on her side, away from the child, and shut her eyes tight.

-

Later that night, after hours of tossing and turning in her sleep, Toph was awoken by the small mewing sound coming from her bedside. She sighed. She’d tried to have the baby whisked away to some far-off nursery where she wouldn’t have to ignore its presence, but apparently the hospital didn’t “do that anymore.”

Spirits, she felt so empty. Tired and empty and drained.

Deciding she could avoid it no further, Toph feels her way to the other side of the bed. The hospital is quiet, and she can’t even guess what time it is. Probably late at night. She waddled over to the bassinet, and the mewing became a full-fledged scream.

She jumped. The baby continued screaming, but less so, as if it hadn’t realized anyone was there. She found herself reaching down, feeling the child, the blankets, so afraid she would drop it or break it or… worse. For a moment she hesitated.

This is your baby, she thinks. You’re allowed to pick it up. It’s yours. And his. You can pick it up.

Her. She could almost hear Sokka’s voice echo through the room, reminding her that their child wasn’t an it. The thought made her smile.

Slowly, carefully, as though her life depended on it, Toph lowered her arms around the tiny, tiny baby and lifted her up. The baby stopped bawling and snuggled against her mother’s chest.

“Hello,” she said stupidly, like the kid could respond. But her mouth kept moving. “Um. Uh, my name’s Toph. I’m your - Spirits, I guess I’m your mom now, huh?”

The baby gurgled, her lips curled like she might cry again. Toph hurried to keep talking.

“Oh, God, um. What else, what else… uh, you have a bunch of aunts and uncles,” she said. “They’re all gonna help raise you. They’re annoying sometimes, but they mean well. You’re our first baby, you know.”

Our. The word made Toph close her eyes for a second. Try as she might, there would be no more “our.” There was only “she.” The “our” in her partnership was long gone. How was she supposed to tell her child that?

She decided to start with the basics.

“Your daddy was so brave,” she whispered. It hurt to talk about Sokka in the past tense, but she kept going. “He was so, so strong and brave and I just know he would have loved to meet you. He already loved you, you know. He wanted to meet you so bad, kid. He just never got the chance.”

The baby blinked, her eyelids heavy like hearing about the father she would never meet was too much for one night. Toph wholeheartedly agreed and set her down in the bassinet once more, making sure she was secure before plodding back to her own bed and face-planting on the blankets.

The nurse had told her the baby’s eyes were blue. She let that thought sink into her heart before drifting off to sleep.

[itsmeevie01]

Bio!Dad Bruce Day 9- Last Name (Wayne)

ok, so, if youve paid attention, the you know that i can’t write dialouge for the life of me lol.so today…i bring you dialouge in the form of texting :)

Marinette didn’t make a big deal about who her father was. Of course, when she had just met the man, she had relied on her friends to help her navigate the tricky situation. Since then, the teen had gotten good at only saying what she needed to. Chloe knew. Nino knew. Kim ands Alix knew. Max knew. They all knew and didn’t bring it up. They knew that she had processed it and moved on. To her, Bruce Wayne was just her father. She didn’t talk about the money, or all the work her father did. Marinette made a point to just be herself, and not worry about what names were attached.

At school, of course, she was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. On her ID? On her ID, she was Marinette Cheng-Wayne. Only those who needed to know knew. That how Marinette liked to keep it, at least, if she could help it.

When Marinette was 14, a new girl joined her class. The girl was sweet, if a little delicate. She said she had a lot of different injuries and conditions, but who was Marinette to judge? When the girl started to cling to one of the boys, Adrien, Marinette got a little worried. It wasn’t the end of the world, if he had offered to help, but he looked uncomfortable. When she mentioned this to Chloe, the girl had snarled. “That leech has been worming her way into his head. If you could hear what Gabriel was telling him to do- “her friend shook her head. “If I step in, want to help?” Marinette felt a smile crawl its way onto her face.

“gladly.”

Over the next few weeks, the girls watched what their new classmate, Lila, did. By that point, Nino had brought up his own concerns at fit far too well with theirs. Finally, Chloe decided it was time to take action. The blond stormed into the class and settled into her seat with a scowl. When Sabrina hurried over to join her, Chloe shook her head. Marinette took pity on the redhead and tugged the girl to the back of the class with her, whispering a quiet “watch”. When Nino and Adrien came in, Nino made his to the back, where he plopped down next to Kim. Alix and Max sat across the aisle, and all of them were ready for the explosion that was bound to happen. As Lila and Alya slipped in together, chatting and giggling over some story, the others exchanged glances. They had all been pretty close for years. Because of that, it was hard for others to join their group. The newest addition was Sabrina, and that was only because of her tendency to hang around Chloe. A ding on Kim’s phone drew the groups attention, making them all glance down at their own phones. In the group chat, Alix had sent a video linked to the LadyBlog.

Alix: saw this, this AM. Might be worth looking into. (video attached from the LadyBlog, Titled The Secrets of the Wayne Family)

Mari: wtf

Mari: what is she trying to do

Mari: her ass will get lawyered so fast

Max: she obviously hasn’t thought this through

Kim: is she claiming to know them????

Chlo: oml

Chlo: SLANDER

Chlo: please Mari, please tell me that she doesn’t know your family?

Mari: I mean

Mari: she might? But I think her family name would have come up when Tim and I were planning world domination if she did.

Max:!

Mari: don’t worry, its been put on the back burner. Dad has a new kid that keeps trying to stab Tim w/ a Katana lol.

Nino: Mari, aren’t you supposed to go visit soon? Maybe you should just stay here, dudette.

Chlo: ITS SHOWTIME

The friends hurriedly stowed their phones away and returned their gazes to the front of the room where Lila had approached a confused Adrien. The boy had been deposited next to Chloe in the first row, confusion evident in his green eyes. The Italian girl leaned over the desk, trying to garner as much attention as possible. “Adrien, why don’t you come sit with me? I was hoping you could help me keep up with the lesson.” The dangerous flash of her eyes was so fast that most would have missed it. Marinette narrowed her eyes in suspicion. It looked like Chloe hadn’t been exaggerating about what was going on behind the scenes. Moving before things could get out of hand, Marinette skipped down to the desk.

“I can help, Lila! Literature is one of my favorite subjects!” the anger that glowed behind Lila’s eyes was worrying, but Marinette wasn’t worried. She grabbed the other girl by her elbow and tugged her towards the seat the brunette usually occupied. “I’m sure that Alya wouldn’t mind sitting next to Sabrina!” as Marinette settled into the new seat, Lila folded herself onto the bench and pulled out her notebook, shunning her new seatmate. As Marinette got her own supplies ready, she mentally prepared herself for an hour of clod anger directed at her.

After the bell rang, Marinette slowly started to collect her things. The girl next to her was moving faster than the noirette expected. For a girl who was supposed to a wrist injury, Lila sure wasn’t trying to avoid the pain. Shaking her head, Marinette finished collecting her stuff and went to join Chloe where she was waiting at the door. As they linked arms, Marinette realized that there was a sharp voice behind her, crying. “Oh Alya, it was awful! Marinette wouldn’t answer any of my questions, and told me that if I didn’t understand it, I should keep my mouth shut!” Chloe sniggered next to her and strode away towards the lockers, pulling Marinette with her.

“Honestly, Mari? I wish you had told the brat to shut up, maybe then she would be scared of you.” Marinette rolled her eyes at her best friend.

“your only scared of me, because you’ve seen me with Tim, and know that we already are on the path to world domination.” Chloe shook her head and closed her locked with a soft thud.

“Mari, you are worse than all of your brothers, simply because you don’t use your fathers name to back you up. If you did that, then you would have the same royal brat rep I do.”

Chlo: so, is anyone going to put a stop to the liar’s yapping?

Adrien: wait what? Chloe, who are the other numbers?

Chlo: Adrien, please.

Chlo: do you really not have these numbers saved already?

Nino: yeah dude, that’s a little mean

Mari: lol yeah, I’m insulted, Adrien!

Adrien: Wait, Nino?

Adrien: who…is in this chat?

Alix: Me!

Max: Markov and myself

Kim: and me, man

Adrien: that…doesn’t help.

Chlo: oh honesty!

Chlo: you idiot, its Mari, Nino, Max, Alix, and Kim.

Chlo: you are Ridiculous

Chlo: UTTERLY RICICULOUS!

Mari: Chloe, chill. I don’t think he’s been in one of our…unique chats before.

Max: affirmative. Adrien usually spends time with Nino, Alya, and Lila if he isn’t with Chloe and Sabrina

Chlo: back to the topic at hand!

Chlo: the brat has to stop

Mari: I mean…she hasn’t done anything we can stop her with yet.

Nino: we need solid proof

Alix: are we just going to forget this AM? (video attached from the LadyBlog, Titled the Secrets of the Wayne Family)

Adrien: is someone going to tell me what’s going on?

Mari: we can’t drag them into this, Alix. it’ll make it worse, not better.

Alix: M, are you sure? we could shut her up real fast. Your fam, mine, Chloe’s?

Max: theoretically, it would be the path of least resistance.

Mari: THEY ARE A LAST RESORT

Mari: I AM NOT LETTING JASON MOCK ME FOR THIS

Mari: bc that ass totally will.

Adrien: ok, but what’s going on?

Max: Lila is trying to use you to catapult herself to fame

Kim: haha yeah, its not going to work if we have anything to say about it.

Chlo: also, very happy Mari never brought Alya into the fold

Mari: fuck no

Mari: do you see the way that girl doesn’t research anything. She latches on and never lets go.

Nino: so, you’ve said, Mari. I still think your over exaggerating on that one, lol

Mari: lmfao

Mari: Nino, she thinks I have a crush on ADRIEN of all people.

Mari: sorry, Adrien, bc you’re my friend? But she latched onto something and won’t let it go

Alix: shit I remember that. She tried to get us to set the two of you up. Those plans SUCKED.

Mari: remember how I kept sabotaging them lol? She just thought that fate was against her

Max: logically, shouldn’t that be a sign that you two aren’t meant to be?

Mari: haha I wish. After that, she tried to set me up with Chat Noir.

Chlo: WAIT

Chlo: that’s what Lady Wi-Fi was about?

Mari: yesssssssss

Adrien: um…should I be concerned about this?

Kim: I mean…no? its normal at this point.

Max: Chloe, plan #3 might work for taking down Lila? We wouldn’t need Mari’s family to join in if we do that.

Mari: if that fails, I’ll call Tim.

Mari: but ONLY if #3 fails, and we can’t make say…#5 work.

Chlo: you got yourself a deal, Marinette.

When the group entered the classroom together the next day, Chloe and Marinette were chattering excitably together. Adrien and Nino were talking about something on his phone while Max was keeping sore for whatever competition Kim and Alix had going on. When Lila approached Adrien and tugged him over to her seat, the others tracked her movement wordlessly.

When Alya came in and found them watching, she smirked at them. “those two make a cute couple, don’t they? Lila was practically glowing earlier when she was talking about the date they went on last night.” The friends exchanged telling glances but otherwise brushed the girl off as they dispersed to their seats. As she made her way to the seat she had claimed at the back at the beginning of the year, Marinette paused by Lila’s desk.

“Lila, do you need help again today? I know that the topics we’re covering are a little difficult if you’re not familiar with them.” The brunette scowled up at her.

“sorry, Marinette, but you can’t really keep up with the help I need.” The smaller girl shrugged.

“I’m sorry that you feel that way, Lila. If you ever need help, feel free to ask.” as she made her way to her seat, Marinette could hear Lila say loudly

“She’s just jealous that I have connections like the Wayne’s and Jagged stone and she’s just a little miss nobody.”

Mari: fuck it, it’s on bitch. I’m calling Jagged and Clara. These are slander charges now.

Chlo: should I expect your family’s lawyers too?

Mari: hell no. Tim is a last resort.

Mari: dad’s friend tho? THEY are defiantly going to be getting a few phone calls.

Mari: hey Jagged, Penny. I have just a tiny question.

Penny: Marinette! We were getting ready to contact you! What’s going on?

Mari: what kind of slander would be bad enough to sue over?

Penny: why?

Mari: this (voice file attached. Label reads SeNd To JaGgEd ASAP)

Jagged: little lady…where did you get this?

Mari: I recorded it during class today

Jagged: this liar is your age?

Penny: Marinette, would you mind if I send this to our lawyers?

Mari: go right ahead.

Tim: so…

Tim: would you like to explain why Jagged Stone is ranting to B in the entryway about a “little lying brat” who is in his “favorite niece’s class?”

Mari: wat

Mari: idk what you’re talking about

Tim: Little Bit, you can’t possibly think he hasn’t name dropped you yet.

Mari: WHAT.

Mari: fuck

Tim: ummmmmm

Tim: WHEN DID YOU START CUSSING?

Mari: tim. Please remember who my brothers are.

Tim: OH neverminded

Tim: why didn’t you get me involved?

Mari: theres no reason for Marinette Dupain-Cheng to know the Wayne fam

Mari: also, we wanted to use #3 and #5 first. If they didn’t work (they are) we were going to rain fire lolz.

Tim: fine. When your ready for the power that comes with the name, lmk

Tim: aslo, I insist on being included in the planning.

Mari: also*

Tim: fuck off

Tim: I wan to be ready for whatever damage control might be needed with the press

Tim: also, I live the kind of chaos that you and Chloe create together lolz

When Adrien turned to Marinette during lunch that day, there was clear confusion in his eyes. “Mari?”

“what’s up, Adrien?”

“who was that guy…Tim? That Chloe kept mentioning?”

“oh? She didn’t tell you?” the blond shook his head, looking worried. Marinette smiled ruefully and sighed.

“he’s my older brother on my father’s side.” When Adrien furrowed his brow, Marinette elaborated. “My father lives in the United States and runs a big corporation. He spends a bit of time in the limelight, but he keeps us all out of the press.”

“the…Dupain family?” Marinette laughed before smoothing over her friend’s confusion.

“no, Tom is my dad, but Bruce is my Father. He lives on the east coast, and I spend most holidays and breaks with my siblings over there.” Adrien nodded and smiled at her.

“I guess that makes sense. Its really cool at you get to spend your time with both sides of your family like that. What is your father’s last name then? I don’t think I’ve heard it.” Marinette winced.

“My father’s last name is Wayne. Anywhere except school, I use the name Marinette Cheng-Wayne.”

ok, thats a wrap. for once, this could be read by itself with almost no context. this will fit intothe overall storyline, but i had to go back and set the stage (this) for when Mari is 15. here, its the begining of the school year that she turns 15. (her b-day is in April bc i want to mess wiht cannon even more than i already do.)

[commanderserwin]

lights.

↦ pairing(s): levi ackerman x reader [modern AU]

↦ word count: 4k

↦ anon request:

[plus] (Same anon asking the angst & fluff anon) _ but she doesn't. When she regains consciousness she doesn't even look at Levi, but after days of taking care of her and apologizing they finally reconcile 😊 (Full ANGST & fluffy plz)

↦ warning(s): mentions of car accident, blood

↦ author’s note(s): thank u for requesting !!! i’m sorry it took a while ☹︎ i hope you like it !!

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Levi has been sitting in traffic for the past hour. All the fuck ton of cars merging into one lane because some stupid tree has to fall down makes his trip stupidly long. He gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles going white as he turned down the radio that’s announcing the hour long traffic he is in. It isn’t helping him end his day into something peaceful. 

His work was shit. Overwhelming, and he doesn’t need this. He doesn’t need to be stuck in traffic, with all the honking of the cars behind him. One asshole even tried to cut him in, and he almost scratched his car but Levi doesn’t care anymore. 

He just needs some peace and quiet. Calm. 

Levi looked at the passenger seat where his phone has been vibrating for the last ten minutes. He ignored your calls and texts, gripping the wheel, and eventually pressed the horn on his car. 

“Fucking move!” He gritted his teeth, honking again. He groaned as the cars moved an inch with all the racket. “Move!” 

And it moved. 

The green light illuminated the parkway, cars honking to hurry the fuck up. He honked his own, hurrying the car before him. He groaned louder and louder as the green light turned to yellow, and red. 

He didn’t make it. 

“For fuck’s sake!” He closed his eyes, calming himself. It’s going to take a whole five minutes for the traffic to move, and he just doesn’t have the time. He leaned on his headrest, hand blindly looking for his vibrating phone, as he brought it to his ear. 

“What is it?” He seethed, hearing the ruckus behind the phone. 

Also didn’t help that it poured hard. Just exactly what he needs. A rain pour and a stupid fallen tree. 

“Where are you?” You gently said, Levi’s annoyance seeping through the phone, as you and your daughter prepared dinner. “Are you near?” 

“No.” 

“Oh,” you said, placing the phone between your shoulder and ear. “It’s raining. Have you got an umbrella?” 

“No.” 

“How long will you be home? I heard there’s a tree that fell on the parkway.”

He opened his eyes, the red digital clock on his dashboard, blinking 9:45PM. He’s still a good long 30 minutes away from home. Levi rubbed his face, placing his arm on the door panel, caressing his temple. 

“Still far away,” Levi replied, breathing through nis nose. He had to pull away the phone as you screeched loudly as your daughter dropped her plate. The kitchen floor scattered with the food and the broken fragments everywhere. Levi breathed deeply, not wanting to hear anymore. “I’ll call you back.” 

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The phone call ended, his caller ID disappearing as you stared at your phone. Annoyance filled you, after he finally answered back after a couple of calls, but you brushed it off. You placed your on the table, mustering a smile to your daughter as she sat idly and nervously with the mess underneath her. 

“Come here, Maya,” you rounded the table, carrying your daughter so that she won’t step on the mess. You wiped away her tears, sighing at the broken plate and the food, your mind and body already tired, and still you looked at your daughter. “Are you hungry?”

Maya looked down at her feet, as she placed her hands behind her back. She subtly nodded, embarrassed that she dropped his plate. “I promise I won’t drop it again.”

“Okay,” you pecked her cheek, standing up as she took another seat by the table. “Mommy will prepare another one for you.” 

Maya patiently waited, flicking through her books on the table. She looked at the clock, back at you, as she flitted towards the living room, turning on the television. 

You only sighed, closing your eyes for a few seconds, as you went back to fixing dinner. Your shoulders slumped at the countertop, looking at your phone for the time— 10:00PM. Once you were done, you placed the baked mac on the table, a late dinner for the family.

Levi should be home by now, you thought.

It has been a tiring day for you at work, your boss yapping all day throughout the meeting, for the whole company to meet the deadline. Then, you have pick Maya up at school at 3, but then she begged to play at the park nearby with her friends for hours, and eventually you got caught up with all the other parents and kids, having to hurry back to prepare dinner. You haven’t even changed clothes yet, and you are so tired. You don’t even have the energy to scold your daughter, as you just leave her be.

Maya hurried back, regret filling her chest as she stayed back on the doorframe, peeking. “May I watch television once I wait?”

It is the weekend tomorrow, you thought.

Levi always loved weekends, because that’s the only time he relaxes. He’ll be on the couch, sitting in the middle with you and Maya on either side, watching whatever Maya has got on the television. Or he’ll be busy with a book, or just softly talking with you to not disturb Maya’s attention.

“Sure, darling,” you called back, turning around with a smile, grabbing Levi’s mug to prepare him tea. “Just be sure to lower the volume. Daddy’ll be home soon.” 

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Levi stayed in the parking space outside your home, looking at the clock. He stayed there, watching the rain pour on the window, slouching against the steering wheel, waiting for it to stop. He isn’t in the mood to run the steps in order to avoid rain. Things aren’t really working out well for him. 

He took a deep breath and sighed. He ran quick, using his hands and bag to get the rain out of his hair, and almost slipped, while he cursed himself. He fumbled with his keys, and knocked eventually. Levi could already hear the television from outside, while Maya’s singing along loudly.

He knocked three times, loud, hoping that somebody could hear him.

It was you who answered with a wide smile on your face. 

“Hey,” you breathed, opening the door wider, taking in his soak clothes, as well as his furrowed brows. You brushed away his bangs away from his eyes, “Rough day at work?” 

He only nodded, moving past you as he take off his shoes and dropped his shoes by the rack. He surveyed the living room, overwhelmed with the television, your busy complaints with the wet shoes and clothes as he accepted the small towel from your hands, and Maya’s loud voice as she sang along to the television. 

“Have you eaten already?” You mused, kissing his wet shoulder as you passed by him. “I made baked mac for dinner.” 

He grunted in response, standing in the middle of it, bending down to give Maya a haste kiss on the head as she ran up to him. He followed you to the kitchen, seeing shards of plate on the floor and spilled food while you were knelt down, picking up the mess. 

You looked up, wiping your sweat, “Be careful, I haven’t finished-.”

“Fuck!” Levi took a step, frustration bubbling inside him as he took the messy kitchen and table in front of him. His daughter’s books on the tables, utensils, shards of plate and food. He leaned on the chair, bent down as he inspected his foot that is completely bleeding, the shard sticking out. “What happened in here?!”

“Don’t curse in the house,” you sighed, picking up the shards. “If you’ve let me finished, you would know.” 

“God,” he groaned, taking out the bloody piece, “I only wanted a nice, peaceful night.” 

“And what? You came home to this?” You chuckled darkly, stopping in your actions. “I’m sorry if you came home to messy house. I’m really trying my best here.” 

He sighed deeply, closing his eyes, his anger close to erupting but he is keeping his cool. 

Maya’s books. Shards on the floor. Food on the floor. Loud television. 

“Put a band-aid on it,” you quietly said, going back to the floor. 

Maya’s books. Shards on the floor. Food on the floor. Loud television.

“There’s a box in the bathroom,” you continued. 

Maya’s books. Shards on the floor. Food on the floor. Loud television.

“Maya, can you turn the volume down?” Levi called, rubbing his eyes. He sat down on the chair, placing a serving on the spare plate. He pushed away Maya’s books, making space for him to dine on the dining table. “You ate already?” 

He got up to get another plate, careful to not step over you as you finished cleaning. He’s got to clean that again because he doesn’t either you or Maya accidentally stepping on a lost shard.

“Maya, the television!”

“I haven’t,” you answered, scanning the kitchen floor for any mess. You nodded towards the plate, washing your hands. “Is that for me?”

“Yes,” Levi answered, folding his sleeves up. “Come sit.” 

“Maya!” Levi called out again, louder this time, craning his head towards the living room. “The television! Please!” 

“Don’t yell,” you said, wrapping your hand on his wrist, making him look at you. His brows are furrowed, eyes wide in frustration, and nose flared. “Don’t yell at her. You know she doesn’t like it when you yell.”

“How can I not yell-,” Levi stood up, pulling away your hand over him. He stormed towards the kitchen, moving away the scattered toys on the floor. He picked one up, raising it. “Maya! Can you please clean this up? And the television? How many times do I have to tell you?”

“Levi,” you warned from the kitchen, as you peeked at him. “She’ll clean those up later. Come have dinner with me.”

“No,” he turned to Maya, staring at his wide-eyed daughter, scared of the shouting. Maya fumbled with the remote, lips quivering as she watched his father. “She will clean these up, now.” 

“I’m sorry,” Maya breathed shakily, biting on her lip. She rubbed his eyes, feeling her tears start. “I’m sorry.” 

“And the books!” Levi continued, watching his daughter, “Can you pick up your books?!”

“Levi!”

“This isn’t your room,” he boomed again. “Put away your toys.”

Maya stood in the middle of it all, crying silently, scared to move at the way her parents are shouting.

“Levi!”

“What?!” He turned around, as he watched you walk towards Max, brushing away his tears. 

“Do not yell,” you looked back at your husband, equally as angry. You turned off the television, picked up the toys, placing them on your arms. “Do not yell at her.” 

Maya ran upstairs, carrying the toys up to her room. Her cries could be heard from the living room, terrified of all the yelling. 

You and Levi panted, unaware that both of you were shouting. 

“Now look at her!” You hushed angrily, “She hasn’t eaten yet, and you came home, yelling, can you just-.” 

“What? I can’t?”

You looked at him hard, fully aware of what’s happening. He’s been going home mad, cold, and quiet, but you paid no attention, thinking that it’s just work. “If you could just lower your voice, please.” 

Levi moved closer, pointing at the stairs and at the living room. “All I wanted is to come home to a peaceful house,” he muttered, chest panting, “But I have to come home to... to this! To a loud television. Toys on the floor. Books on the dining table. Shards— fucking shards of a broken plate that I stepped on. Spilled food on the floor. Traffic. The rain. The fucking tree on the parkway. My job. I have to write a shit-ton of papers, get it revised, then do it all again. All that and I can’t come home to a nice house?” 

“We talked about this, didn’t we, Levi?” You pushed, standing right in front of him, as you whispered angrily. “You said that we’ll come home to a clean slate. If you are tired or stressed in work, keep it at work. If you can’t, then talk to me. But don’t release that stress on us.” 

He only scoffed, staring right at you. 

“You can shout all you want. Raise your voice at me, for all I care,” you  muttered, pushing him away. “But do not, do not dare to raise your voice at our daughter. Do you understand me?” 

Levi only rolled his eyes, putting up a front. He hates fighting. He hates arguing. He hates going home with a heavy heart but he couldn’t help it even when he tried to contain himself. 

“I asked you. Do you understand me?” 

He nodded, staring right at you. He felt a pang of guilt in his heart, anger and sadness as it resulted to this. All he could is nod. 

“Good.” 

You turned towards the stairs, feet gently padding towards each step to not scare Maya. You knocked on her door, ignoring Levi’s calls as you peeked inside her room. Maya's on the edge of her bed, sniffling, holding her hands together. “You want to go for a walk, darling?” 

“Mommy,” she cried, covering her eyes as her shoulders shook in sobs. “Is daddy mad at me?” 

You smiled, crouching in front of her. “He’s just upset, but don’t worry about it. So, what do you say? Should we go to the park?” 

You can’t stay another second longer in the house, knowing that you and Levi could say some things both of you don’t mean. It’s just exhaustion. 

“Is it dark outside?”

“Ah,” you mused, ruffling her hair as you grabbed her jacket, “It is, but Mommy will protect you! How about we go on some swings?” 

“Okay!” 

“Yeah?” You said, handing her jacket. “Remember to zip your jacket up so you won’t get cold.” 

You waited for her to fix her clothes, holding her hand as the both of you went downstairs again. The living room looked a bit cleaner, the television quietly playing in the background, as Levi reappeared from the couch, holding some toys as he placed them on a pile. 

He finally looked up, confused. “Where are you going?” 

“To the park, daddy!”

“Isn’t it raining?” He asked as you passed by to go to the kitchen. Everything is a little bit cleaner, books off, cold dinner on the plates. “It’s getting late, too.” 

He followed your footsteps to the kitchen, trapping you by his arm. You pried his arm around you, “We’re just going for a walk.” 

“I’m not invited? It’s dark.”

“No,” you smiled sarcastically. “Why don’t you cool off? I don’t my daughter to hear you shout again. Use this time alone. You wanted a peaceful house, right?” 

“That’s not what I meant,” he answered exasperatedly. He looked at your eyes, guilt eating him up as you blinked away tears. “I’m just... tired.”

“You think I’m not?” You breathed shakily, rubbing your eyes. “You think I’m not tired? You think you’re the only who gets tired in this house? I am stressed at work, too. My boss hasn’t stopped running his mouth at us, and you think I’m not tired? I’m so pressured at work, and when I see you, you’re so upset and mad, and you think I don’t get tired from it all?”

“I don’t go home upset,” Levi lied, seeing through his own lies.

“Oh, please,” you scoffed, breathing hard. “I can see through you.”

Levi sighed, holding your hand but you just pushed him away. He could finally see how awful he made you, your eyes sad and tired, your lips quivering. He looked away, pinching his nose, as he nodded. He doesn’t want to open his mouth anymore, scared that he’ll push you away from him. He nodded again, feeling you brush by him as you grabbed your phone. 

“What time will you be home?” 

Just stay, he thought.

“I don’t know.” 

Levi breathed deeply, watching from the kitchen as you and Maya closed the door behind him, leaving him alone in the house. He looked at the clock— 11:00PM, closing his eyes. He wants to run after you two, but he is so exhausted. He palmed his eyes, standing in the kitchen, sighing as he saw the plates, books— and a steaming mug of tea, just for him. 

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Levi anxiously waited on the couch, his work becoming a haze in his hands as he continuously checked his phone for any texts or calls. It’s been over an hour, and you two aren’t back yet. He nibbled on his lower lip, holding his pen in his hand, trying to write something, but he doesn’t feel right. 

Finally, his phone rang. His heart beating, as relief overcame his mind. 

“Where are you?” Levi breathed, calming down. “Should I come pick you up?”

That’s when he noticed something wrong. 

Sirens. 

People speaking, shouting, and someone sniffling. 

“Where are you?” He hurriedly asked, grabbing his coat, aiming for the door. “Are you still at the park? What’s happening there?” 

“... Daddy?” 

“Maya?”

Levi stopped in his tracks, his daughter’s voice making him worry deep to his bones. “Maya, where’s mommy? Are you okay?”

“Mommy...” Maya sniffled over the phone. 

“Can you hand the phone over to Mommy?” 

Levi can’t move. 

“Mommy... is on the ground,” she cried. 

“Why is mommy on the ground, Maya?” 

“Mommy is bleeding,” Maya finally answered. Finally, he heard someone speak: “Is that your father on the phone?” 

“It’s daddy,” Maya gulped, handing the phone to the lady. She was covered in blood, as she escorted Maya towards the ambulance. 

“Mr. Ackerman?”

“That’s me,” Levi stuttered, the gears in his head turning. He hurried to his car, starting it right away. 

“Fuck-,” Levi cursed, reversing out of the spot. “Where’s my wife? What happened to my wife? Is she okay? Is my daughter okay?”

“Mr. Ackerman, your wife has been hit by a car. She’s currently unconscious as she lost a lot of blood-.”

Levi stopped breathing, heart racing. Sweat covered his body. 

No, no, no, he thought. No. 

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Levi kept replying what the doctor said, as Maya snuggled right up at him. He placed his daughter on his lap, making them both fit on the chair as Levi listened to the sounds of the hospital monitor. He doesn’t know what the fuck it says and it almost made him cry again. 

It’s been days. 

He’s been watching that hospital monitor with no breaks, only stepping outside to get shabby food from the hospital for him and Maya. 

Guilt has been eating him up for days. 

He should’ve stopped you. 

He should’ve stopped you. 

He should’ve stopped you. 

Levi kissed Maya on the forehead, listening to her snore a little as he looked at your unconscious body for another day. 

“Wake up,” he whispered, closing his eyes, feeling his own tears well up. He can’t cry or else Maya will wake up. He can’t cry or else Maya will also cry. He can’t cry because he has to show his daughter that he’s strong. 

But, he wants to. 

Levi wants to cry because he doesn’t know if you’ll ever wake up.

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Levi sleeps alone now. 

He has been for a few weeks now. 

It’s the usual. He wakes up a little earlier to prepare breakfast for the house. He prepares Maya’s school lunch. He prepares your coffee and he prepares his tea. He watches Maya ride the school bus then goes back inside to check up on you. 

You have been finally discharged, thankfully, but it doesn’t lessen the blame he’s put on himself. He feels the worst when he sees the big scar on your arm, and the stitches on your hairline. He feels bad when he let his exhaustion dictate his actions that night, letting you slip away, parting ways when both of you are mad at each other. 

Still, you sleep on the same bed as he does, it doesn’t feel like it. 

He’ll watch you sleep for a few minutes before going to work. He’d come home to you still in bed. The coffee untouched by the bedside table, day after day.

Still, he doesn’t stop. 

“I’m going to work,” he would whisper. “I’ll pick up Maya on the way, too.”

“What should we have for dinner?” Levi would ask. 

“Maybe we should get take-out?” Levi would chuckle sadly.

He just watches you. Talk to you even when you don’t answer back.

“I love you,” Levi would never miss to say that you, while you sleep. “I love you.”

Then, you gradually open up to him. 

It’s the little actions that you do that makes him believe that there’s a chance.

For the both of you.

It’s the shy kisses that you accept on days when he’s back from work, when you’ve pushed him away for days. 

It’s the little grip during the night when you thought he was sleeping, but in reality he wasn’t. He couldn’t even hold your hand while you slept before because you always push him away. But one night, you tighten your hold on his, it made him happy, and it continued on the next nights.

It’s the prepared tea in the mornings sometimes by his bedside table. He watched you sometimes slip out of his hand and come back with a steaming tea just before his alarm rings.

One night, he got home late. He parked the car outside, not really believing that there was still lights in the living room. It’s 11:00PM. Usually when he gets home before that, Maya is already in bed while you are too. 

But there was lights. 

He breathed deeply, already thinking that it was his daughter and her failed attempt to watch late night cartoons. Then Levi will have to carry his her upstairs, while she faked-slept in his father’s arms, suppressing a little smile on her lips. 

He closed the door behind him, wondering where Maya is since the television is turned off. 

He walked a little further inside. 

Levi smiled. 

There you were. 

You were sipping out of his favorite mug, legs crossed, as you perked up when you heard him come closer. He’s finally home, you thought. But still, you only stared at him, eyes boring into his greys. 

“Hi,” Levi whispered. He hesitated for a second, before walking behind your chair. He gently wrapped his arms your shoulder, knowing that you’ll only pry his touches away. 

But this time, it was different. 

You didn’t move under his touch, as he mumbles about his day as he pecked you on the lips. You listened silently, face stoic. 

Then, you felt him shudder. 

“I’m sorry,” Levi whispered, leaning his cheek on your head. He let his tears fall, not hiding them anymore. “I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. I should’ve not picked a fight that night. I’m sorry for raising my voice. I’m sorry that I was selfish.” 

Silence. 

“I should’ve stopped you that night,” he continued, his voice cracking, feeling his tears drop on your cheek. “I’m sorry. I... I can’t lose you. I don’t want to feel that way again. I can’t... I can’t lose you.”

You cried when he kissed you on the temple, apologizing over again. You leaned on his touch, wrapping a hand around his arm, as you turned to him. Levi’s crying softly, his shoulders shaking as he apologized. 

“I’m sorry too,” you apologized. You leaned on him, kissing his tears away. “I’m sorry, Levi.” 

“No, no,” his heart gushing. He feels so happy. He’s so happy that he finally heard his name on your lips, he’s so happy that he finally heard you speak again. He’s so happy that he felt your soft touch on his skin, instantly comforting him, making his worries disappear. “Don’t apologize. No, no.” 

Both of you stayed like that for a few minutes until you spoke. 

“Have you eaten already?” 

He just ate his dinner on his office table at work. 

Levi shook his head, “I haven’t.” 

“Levi, I can taste the garlic bread from your lips.” 

Levi chuckled lightly, kissing your again and again on the cheeks, wiping away your tears. “I’m still hungry.” 

“Okay,” you softly laughed, knowing that he’s never the one to overeat. You brushed his bangs away from his eyes, “Maya and I just had grilled cheese.” 

“I’d love a grilled cheese.” 

You nodded, pulling away from his touch as you stood up. He followed you quietly, as you grabbed the bread and cheese. He sipped your tea, placing it on the countertop while you work so that you won’t forget it. 

Once you were done, you handed him the sandwich, sliced in the middle. He placed it on the countertop, leaning on it. Both of you were just standing like that, until he crept his hand over to yours, holding you. 

You tighten your hold on him, while he moved in closer. Just holding each other’s hands. Just pure silence, and the happy beating of Levi’s heart on his chest that matches yours. 

“Your food’s going to get cold,” you whispered, turning your head at him, and surprised that he was already staring at you. 

He bit his lip, nodding. He used his other to hand you the other slice, softly smiling while you accepted it. He took the other one, munching on it slowly, hiding his smile at every bite. 

“Still hungry, my ass,” you mused, biting on his sandwich, as you leaned your head on his shoulder. 

He only nodded, chuckling lightly, as the both of you ate in silence. He cleaned up the kitchen, while you sat around the table waiting for him to finish. He ruffled your hair, as you followed him upstairs to the bedroom. 

You listened to the shower run as you settled in bed, closing your eyes for the night.

You jumped from your sleep, feeling Levi behind you, as he finally wrapped his arm around your waist, tugging you closer to him. You slept with his breath fanning your nape, his chest rising up and down on your back. You closed your eyes again, finding his hand in the dark to hold, as he kissed you on the back of your neck. 

“I love you.” 

[glameowr]

My science teacher watched me look up pink engagement rings when I got bored in class. Looking up things I thought you might like was much more interesting than listening to him yap for an hour and a half.

oh wow anon r u gonna propose 2 me or something 😳😳😳 hubba hubba lets kiss aha jkjkjk also id absolutely like a pink engagement ring bwbenrnfn and im sorry ur teacher is boring 😾😾😾 quit yappin teacher bro

[femmedionysus]

hot dogs. sausage bois. weiner pups. let's TALK about DACHSHUNDS

I HAVE SUCH MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT DACHSHUUUUUNDS

on the one hand. they’re ADORABLE. they’re so cute. and I am hugely biased bc we got a dachshund puppy when I was about 9 or 10 and she was the best dog in the WORLD she was so well behaved and sweet and funny and lived to the ripe old age of like 17 or 18, Frankie was in all ways The Ideal Dog.

on the other hand. nearly every other dachshund I’ve met has been. hmm. Buster is super sweet and I love him too don’t get me wrong, but he has the biggest case of doggy OCD he will sit and lick the corner of the back door for HOURS he barks a lot he has Brain Problems. and most weenies I’ve met have been WORSE THAN HIM they’ve been either trembly SmallDog Syndrome dogs who yap and bite and pee when you get too close to them or they bark nonstop and dig nonstop. I dogsat for this dachshund named Penny one time and she crawled in the bed I was sleeping in and peed, and then after I got up and threw the sheets in the wash and let her outside and showered and settled back down on the couch at like 2am she hopped up on the couch right next to me and peed there too

what I’m saying is. if a dachshund is good they’re perfect. most dachshunds are not tho. but here is a picture of my perfect girl Frankie 💖

[image ID: a photo of a reddish-brown dachshund lying on her side on a beach, with her head raised so she’s looking at the camera. She looks relaxed, and there is a leash clipped to her collar. Sitting behind her is a white teenager, wearing a tie-dye shirt and denim shorts, resting one hand on the dog’s side. Their head is mostly out of frame, but they are smiling. end ID]

and both weenies (Buster left, Frankie right):

[image ID: a photo of two dachshunds sitting on a cement porch step, on a grey and black welcome mat. The one on the left is slightly bigger and a darker reddish-brown, and is looking off to the right. There is a blue leash clipped to his collar. The one on the right is slightly smaller and her reddish-brown fur is going grey, especially around her muzzle and feet. She is wearing a red collar and looking at the camera. Three pumpkins are arranged on the left side of the picture. end ID]

[multishipperlove]

Chapters: 1/2 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan, Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia Characters: Velora Vessar, Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Vex'ahlia (Critical Role), Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III, Shaun Gilmore, Keyleth (Critical Role) Additional Tags: Syldor Vessar's A+ Parenting, Family Issues, Polyamory, Polyamorous Character, Hiking, Dog Trinket (Critical Role) Summary:

The twins get to take care of their sister for a weekend, finally able to make good on some birthday promises. Not everything goes as planned, but they still have a great time together.

(Sequel to Dinner and Diatribes, should be able to stand on it's own)

Vax was used to being a light sleeper. It didn't take much to wake him, the quiet creaking of his door and the little bit of morning light poking through, in his otherwise darkened room, was definitely enough to rouse him again. Then he felt his mattress dip down slightly, and groaned as Vex laid a hand on his shoulder to shake him awake.

“I'm up,” he muttered, while also dragging his pillow over his head. “What do you want?”

He heard Vex sigh. “Well, brother. I, uh, was wondering if you'd like to go to the national park with me and Velora today?”

That was enough to at least make him sit up, just to give her a confused look. “What happened to Percy?”

After all the trouble they'd gone through to make sure that the day would go perfectly, he couldn't think of a good reason why Percy would suddenly decide not to come. Unless something had happened, of course, but if it was anything serious he was sure Vex would have said so by now.

And really, they'd spend weeks preparing for this weekend. After Vex and Percy had gifted Velora a coupon to visit the nearby national park with her for her last birthday, they'd still needed to convince their father to let it happen, and make sure everyone actually had some time to spare. In the end they'd even been able to get Syldor to let her spend the night, so they could have dinner with Keyleth and Shaun and maybe even take her shopping the next morning. Or at least to Gilmore's Glorious Goods, which the girl still had a coupon for as well.

All of this was the reason Vax had taken night shifts all week at the diner he worked at, so he could make sure he'd have this evening and the weekend off. And why, in turn, he was respectively tired now.

Vex bit her lip and heaved another sigh. “We got a call this morning, apparently Cassandra got super sick over night.” She saw the look on his face and was quick to reassure her brother. “Nothing life threatening, but she's hardly able to leave the bathroom. So there's no way she can get any official work done today, and Percy had to jump in for her.”

Vax was still not sure he completely understood. “But... Percy isn't even in Whitestone. Wasn't he sleeping over when I got home earlier?”

“He was,” Vex agreed. “He had someone pick him up thirty minutes ago and drive him to the Alabaster Lyceum, which is also where we need to pick up Velora in a bit.”

Vax hadn't missed his sister's use of the word 'we', but he also didn't argue. Even with less than three hours of sleep, he wouldn't miss out on spending a day with his little sister. “Alright, alright... I'll come,” he muttered, finally getting up. He stretched his arms over his head, letting out a huge yawn, and then started to search for fresh clothes. “Fucking rich people and their teleportation circles. Gimme twenty minutes.”

It took a bit longer than the promised twenty minutes, but eventually they both made it out of the door freshly showered and with their hiking gear packed up. And Trinket, of course, running behind them with way too much energy for Vax' taste.

“Keys,” Vex demanded, stopping in front of Vax' mini van. “You're way too tired to drive.”

“And too tired to argue with you,” he agreed, handing them over before getting settled in the passenger seat. His sister took another moment to get Trinket in the back. They'd long given up on laying out towels or blankets in the back, since it had never really helped with keeping the dog hair at bay. At this point they could just hope to never befriend anyone with a severe dog allergy.

Finally, Vex settled down in the driver's seat beside him, turned on the radio, and carefully backed out of the parking spot. Before they'd even left their neighbourhood, Vax was dozing off again.

Thankfully, his sister didn't wake him up again until they were parked right in front of the Travel and Communication Center of the Lyceum. But then he was roughly shaken awake and forced back out of the car. Trinket had to stay behind, with Vex promising him a quick return. That and a few treats made him lay back down without an issue.

On the way in Vax was still rubbing his eyes, so Vex took over the talking again. She could already tell from the look the receptionist was giving them that he knew they weren't the usual clientele. She had their paperwork ready though, and the years in Syngorn and around her father's friends helped her to keep up her smile and ignore the man's behaviour.

“Looks like everything works out,” the clerk eventually agreed, after giving her ID a much closer look than what either of them felt was necessary. Sending a minor through a teleportation circle on their own required some precautions though, even if she was the daughter of a high ranking diplomat. “Follow me, please.”

He got up, and after sharing a brief look and rolling their eyes, the twins followed. They were left in a small waiting room, with the reassurance that their charge would be brought to them as soon as she arrived. Luckily that didn't take long. Soon enough they could hear footsteps approaching, and as the door to their left opened they were faced with a very excited girl clutching on to her treasured owlbear plushie.

“Vax, Vex! You're here!” She immediately tore away from the guard who had apparently been assigned to her, and the man watched on with a smile as the twins got up and all three siblings smushed together for a group hug.

“Oh man, look at you,” Vax chuckled, once they'd all taken a step back again, and as he gave a playful tug on her hair. “I could have sworn you were smaller the last time we saw you.”

Velora grinned and leaned back against her sister instead, prompting Vex to wrap her arms around the small shoulders. “Mom says I'm growing like the weeds in our garden, too, but I haven't actually checked since my birthday.”

Vax was about to reply again, but the guard behind them cleared his throat. “I'll be off then,” he informed them with a smile. “Unless you need my help finding your way out?”

“No, no we'll be fine,” Vex assured the man. “Thank you so much.”

He replied with a brief nod and then left the three of them alone. Not wanting to waste any time, they headed out immediately. “So how was your trip?” Vex asked, just as they left the building. “Did you have to get up very early?”

“No, not really,” she told them, happily walking between her siblings. “But Dad was too busy to drop me off, he had a servant take me instead.”

“A servant? What about Devana, couldn't she have dropped you off instead?” Vax asked with a frown. He wasn't sure which teleportation circle she'd used in Syngorn, but if the location there was anything like the Lyceum it probably hadn't been the nicest experience to be there all by herself.

“She left earlier this morning to run errands, because he'd promised to take me,” Velora replied with a shrug. “She's probably going to be mad at him if he tells her.”

“Well, he deserves it,” Vex muttered. “But let's focus on you being here now, alright? Look, we got someone else who's very happy to meet you.” And with that she took the last few steps to the car and opened the trunk, finally releasing Trinket. The dog quickly jumped out, giving a few yaps of excitement as he circled them a few times, and did his best to wedge himself between them.

Velora grinned and kneeled down, seemingly delighted to let him slobber all over her face. So while those two were busy with greeting each other, Vex took the girl's backpack from her and put it in the back seat with their other gear.

“Alright, ready to go?” she asked finally, helping the girl to her feet again as she agreed. “We got a whole National Park waiting for us after all, so I hope you're ready.”

Velora looked between her two siblings, suddenly turning a bit confused. “Oh, okay. Is Percy waiting for us at the Park then? I thought he was coming with us?”

“Right, about that,” Vex sighed. “There was a bit of an emergency in Whitestone so he got called away, he wants you to know that he's really sorry though and he'll find a way to make it up to you. But hey, with a bit of luck, he'll be back by dinner.”

Velora deflated a bit, her happy mood from earlier not quite evaporating but definitely taking a hit. “Okay... that's fine though,” she said quickly. “He doesn't have to make it up to me, I know his work is super important.”

“But he made a commitment when he said he'd be here today, it's okay to be upset by that,” Vax told her softly. “Doing something else with you is the least he can do, even if it's not his fault that circumstances changed.” When she just shrugged at that and looked down he reached out again, ruffling her hair. “Either way, we'll still have a lot of fun today, I'm sure. Because guess what, I'm Percy's stand in.”

“You'll be coming with us, you're not just here to pick me up?” she asked, her smile growing once more. “That's pretty cool, I'll take that.”

“Hah, you hear that, Stubby? I'm cool.”

Vax did his best not to fall asleep again on their continued drive to the Park, instead engaging with the other two a bit more as they started talking in the car.

Velora told them about school, and how her friends had all been a little bit jealous that she got to leave on a weekend trip so close to their exams. In turn, the twins told her about some of the mischief they had gotten up to when still attending the same school, and that definitely helped with passing the time.

Before they knew it, the broad country roads had turned into narrow passages winding through dark woods. Sunlight filtered through the leaves above them, and it wasn't like Vex needed to turn on the car lights just yet, but the loss of light still gave their surroundings a bit of an eerie feeling. It was nice, in Vax' opinion, and he could see Velora looking out the window with a transfixed expression as well.

They passed the entrance a few minutes later, gladly accepting a map and some tourist information from the lady manning the booth at the moment. As Vex started to look for a parking lot that wouldn't cost them an arm and a leg, Vax took a closer look at the map.

“So, Stubby, did you have a route in mind already?” he asked, studying the various paths that lead through the park and their assigned challenge ratings. If it was just the two of them, they could have easily taken one of the longer routes, meant for more experienced hikers. But with Velora in tow, he was sure Vex had picked out something else.

“Yeah, I found one a while ago that should be really nice,” she replied, proving him right. “It allows dogs, as long as they're leashed, and has some nice observation points along the way.”

“Do you think we'll see any owlbears?” Velora asked immediately, as she leaned forward to wedge herself between the two front seats. Vax playfully pushed her back, grinning slightly when he was met with more resistance than he'd expected.

Vex was the one to actually give her an answer, while she finally found a parking spot she seemed to like. “You know I can't promise you that, but we'll just have to wait and see.”

If he was honest, Vax wasn't sure if he really wanted to run into one of these things. There was a reason most people were afraid of the beasts, and it had a lot to do with claws and sharp edged beaks. Not that there had actually been any owlbear attacks in the recent years, but it still sounded like an encounter he would prefer to avoid.

He kept that thought to himself though, and as they all finally got out of the car he turned to Velora with a cheery look. “Maybe we'll get lucky, who knows. But to see anything, we need to start moving. You got everything you need?”

The girl smiled back at him and nodded, taking her backpack as Vex held it out to her. “I got lots of water and food!”

“Great, I think we can cover the rest,” he chuckled, checking his own bag once more for the additional first aid kit, maps, his powerbank, and a heavy duty flashlight. Vex carried the same gear with her, just in case anything happened to one of their bags. She always had an old satellite phone with her as well though, which they'd never needed, but it was another one of those “just in case” things.

Vex also looked about ready to head into the forest, only waiting for the two of them to finally follow. But a last look up and down his little sister had Vax stop. “You got a jacket with you, right?”

She looked at him and frowned, then looked down at the cardigan she was wearing. “Yeah, this one,” she told him.

Vax resisted the urge to facepalm. “That's not really- you really don't have anything else with you?” he asked again. Syngorn rarely got really cold, not even in winter, but surely someone should have realized that sending her over in nothing but a cardigan would be a stupid idea. Well, apparently not.

“If we're in the shadows all day and sweating, there's no way that thing will keep you warm,” he finally explained, when he realized she still looked rather lost. “We need to get you a proper jacket first.”

He looked over to Vex, who had already started wandering a few feet away, no doubt 'hearing the call of the forest' or whatever she always did when they managed to get on one of these little outings. “Vex!” he called over, at least successfully getting her attention. “We need to hit the shop first. Velora needs a jacket.”

“What do you mean she-” She stopped in the middle of her sentence, and Vax shrugged as an answer. Sure, it sucked, especially because the shops in the park were all horribly overpriced, but they really didn't have much of a choice.

So they accepted the change in plans for what it was, and tried not to be too obviously annoyed about it. After all, it wasn't Velora's fault, and they could both see that she looked a bit uncomfortable now. Vex quickly laid an arm around her, tucking her closer again as they walked.

“Well, let's see it from the positive side, it just means we'll be hitting the souvenir stage early,” she joked, hoping to cheer her up a bit. “Let's have a look around, maybe you find something else you want to watch out for while we're out there.”

The shop was right next to the tourist information, and both buildings were- well, not exactly overrun, but definitely not empty, either. They pushed past a family with two little boys at the entrance, where Vex had to tie trinket down, and dodged some more people inside, just to make it to the clothes section.

There were a lot of t-shits and hoodies, all with big logos of the national park on the front, or simple nature prints. Cute, but not what they were looking for. Vax could already see Velora's eyes flitting from one thing to the next, catching on some things longer than others, and he tried to file all of it away for later. Finally, they found some jackets that actually looked to be functional.

“You wanna try some on?” Vex asked, trying to guess her sister's size as she held out a few. “Is your favorite color still green?”

“Yeah... are you- are you sure though?” Velora asked back. “I know they're expensive. You don't have to.”

“Nonsense, you need a jacket, so we'll get you one,” Vex assured her gently. “The last thing we want is for you to get sick today, or even just be cold all the time. Don't worry about it, okay?”

The girl didn't seem quite convinced yet, but at least she let Vex force her into a few of the jackets, until they found one that fit pretty well. She ended up picking the purple one over the green though, prompting Vax to make a joke about how she would need to raid Gilmore's wardrobe at some point.

They brought it up to the counter, and Vax distracted Velora by making fun of an incredibly tacky snowglobe while Vex paid. She swallowed a bit at the prize, but remembered that the nightshifts Vax had been pulling did not only mean he had the weekend off, but were paid a little bit better as well. Not much, but it made the extra charge more bearable.

Picking up Trinket again on the way out, they finally, finally,started walking towards the path Vex had picked out for them. White signs with blue dots marked the way along the trees, easy enough to follow, and the trail was still wide enough that they could easily ignore the few other people they met along the way.

It didn't take long before Vex started pointing things out to them, from small plants and mushrooms to all the different birds they came across. She even stopped a couple of times so they could get a closer look at something, and within the first two hours, Velora had already stuffed her pockets with all kinds of interesting looking rocks, small feathers, and other muck lying around.

Vax was sure that Syldor would be absolutely horrified if he saw her like that, and that made the whole thing even better. He grew a bit more quiet though, mostly letting the other two talk. His lack of sleep was catching up with him.

Eventually, they reached a small clearing with picnic tables set up, and a small river flowing near by. “Should we take our first break?” Vex asked, looking back to the two others. Receiving a shrug from Velora and a relieved, and maybe just the tiniest bit desperate, nod from her brother, she smiled slightly and claimed one of the tables for them.

Velora started to line up her little treasures on the wooden top, as Vex got out some of the lighter snack foods. She pushed one of the water bottles closer to her brother, who'd sat down and almost immediately rested his head on the table, looking like he was about to fall asleep again any moment.

“Velora, darling, do me a favor and clean your hands in the stream,” she told their little sister, hoping it would wash off the worst of the dirt. For everything else, they had hand sanitizer. While Velora did just that, Vex nudged her brother's shoulder. “Hey, you okay? Do we need to move a bit slower?”

“Hmmmnah. I'm good,” he muttered, giving her a weary smile. He sat up properly at least though, taking a few swigs from the bottle she'd offered him. “It's fun. And you know what, with you playing plant lexicon the whole way, I was thinking, next time we should take Keyleth.”

“So I can watch you two making gooey eyes at each other the whole time? Not a chance.”

“As if you and Percy are any better,” he huffed, amused. “And yes, maybe, but also for another reason. You know how much she knows about all that stuff as well, I'm sure it would be fun.”

Vex shrugged, finally settling down beside him. “Sure, we can ask her next time. I didn't know she was into hiking?”

He grimaced a bit at that. “Actually, not sure if she is. It's always just kinda been our thing, you know? I never asked. But she sure likes plants, so... I don't know, we don't have to.”

“Hey, doofus, slow down,” she chuckled, nudging his side again. “I really don't mind. Let's bring Gilmore and Percy, too, if they want to. We'll just be really disgusting and make it some kind of weird double date.”

She got a soft laugh in return, and Vax nodded. “Sure, that sounds good. I- yeah, I think I'd like that. Let's ask them, some time.”

Velora came back at that point, settling down again with a smile and accepting Vex' hand sanitizer without any protest. She was the first one done with her food as well, and then seemed to be patiently waiting for the twins to finish up. Vex turned to her eventually, giving her a bit of an amused look. “You don't have to sit here and wait, you know. Look around a bit, see if you can find more interesting stuff.”

“Are you sure?” Velora asked, frowning again. “Shouldn't I stay close to you or something?”

“As long as you stay where we can see you, it's fine,” Vax assured her with a shrug, while cutting his apple into continuously smaller pieces. He wasn't too motivated to eat. “Just, you know, don't do anything stupid.”

“Like what?”

“Like falling into the stream, for example. Or climbing trees. I'm pretty sure that's not allowed here,” Vex chimed in again, stealing one of the fruit pieces from her brother.

Velora still seemed surprised that they let her roam around on her own at all, and apparently feared that they would change their mind again. She was out of her seat faster than they could blink.

When she was already halfway back to the little river she turned around again, calling back to her siblings again. “Can I take Trinket?”

“He's not allowed to leave the path, sorry!” Vex called back, and watched as her sister nodded and then went back to the spot where she'd washed her hands earlier. Whatever it was she'd found, it seemed to be interesting enough to keep her attention for a while, and they were both able to finish their own rations without boring the girl too much.

Once back on the path, she told them about the fish she'd seen, and proceeded to describe them in as much detail as possible, asking Vex once more to identify each and everyone of them. In the few cases where Vex was stumped, Vax made up new ones, with increasingly absurd names and abilities.

He was in the middle of telling his sisters about the 'Red Striped Bloodsucker Fish' (ignoring Velora's question if fish even had blood), when Vex grinned and shook her head at him. “Vampirism, huh? I know a plant that helps against that.”

“A plant? No way, vampires aren't even real,” Velora protested, changing her focus from one twin to the other again.

“Oh they used to be, it's just that no one's seen one in a few decades,” Vex insisted. “That doesn't mean they don't exist anymore.” Seeing that the girl still looked unimpressed, she shrugged. “Alright, to be fair, glissfoil also has a lot of other uses. It can cure infections, helps against minor illnesses, and you can make very tasty tea out of it.”

“Which also happens to help against hangovers,” Vax mumbled, chuckling softly when Vex, expectedly, slugged him in the shoulder for his comment.

“She doesn't need to know that part yet. But yes, it's all in all just very neat. Would you like to look for some?” The last part was directed at Velora again, and she agreed easily enough. Vex described the plant, small, green leaves with a yellow-ish tint towards the edge, and they all started to keep an eye out for it.

They were walking uphill now, the path becoming more steep ahead of them and forcing them to slow down quite a bit, but they still made good headway. Still no glissfoil though. That didn't keep Velora from picking up more of her other miscellaneous items though, and when she finally ran out of space in her own pockets, the twins quickly offered to take some for her instead. The new jacket as well as her jeans were both streaked with dirt by now, not that she seemed to mind.

Halfway up the hill they took another break, Vex promising them that it wouldn't be much further now. And indeed, a good forty-five minutes later, they made it to the top. It really wasn't much more than a hill, but still offered a nice overview of the valley that now stretched out in front of them. Again, there was a bit of a clearing, and benches and tables cluttered around the centre of it.

But before Vax could suggest they settle down to enjoy the view a bit, Vex had already taken Velora by the hand and dragged her off to the edge, apparently very intent to show her something. So he sighed and followed suit, taking another sip from his water bottle.

“Alright, do you see the caves down there?” Vex asked, pointing them out for Velora as best as she could. “Right there, in the small dip between the cliffsides?”

Velora searched for it for a moment, but then nodded. “Yeah, yeah I see it. Why, what's in there? Can we go there?”

“No no no, that's definitely off the paths,” she replied quickly. “And even if it was allowed, it would probably be a bad idea. You know what kind of animal supposedly lives in those caves?”

The girl shook her head this time, but the look she gave Vex was very hopeful, so she seemed to have a pretty good idea at least.

Vex grinned. “Owlbears. Right there. It's just a few animals, who apparently broke away from the main herd a while ago for some reason, but ever since they've been sighted here, the path's become a lot more popular.”

As Vex had been talking, Velora's smile had already grown impossible wide. She stepped as close to the edge as she could now, staring at the entrance of the cave intensely. “Can we stay for a bit?” she asked quietly, as if already afraid to spook the animals away.

“Half an hour or so, sure,” Vex agreed. To Vax' surprise, she took a blanket out of her backpack. Which wasn't part of their usual luggage, which meant she'd been planning this, and why was he even surprised about this. But she put it down on the ground, leaving enough space for the three of them to settle down right there.

While they were waiting for something to happen, Vax got his knife out again from earlier, and started to twirl it around his fingers in an attempt to stay alert. Velora noticed it, of course, and watched him for a few moments with great curiosity.

“Can you teach me how to do that?” she asked finally. “You promised you'd teach me how to use the dagger, remember? The one you got me for my birthday.”

“Of course I remember,” he chuckled. “And yeah, I guess I can teach you how to do this, too... not with a knife though.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don't want to be responsible for any lost fingers, honestly. We'll start with a pen and you get to work your way up from there.” She still grumbled about that answer, but seemed satisfied enough by it. For now.

They spend a few more minutes looking out over the caves, but with no luck. Not a single owlbear reared it's head, and sitting on the ground was slowly getting cold. Velora was leaning against Vax by now, all but in his lap, and the journey seemed to be catching up with her as well. She looked a lot more tired by now then when they'd started their trip.

Before either of her siblings could fall asleep on her, Vex pushed them to move again. “Alright, I think that's enough time spend here,” she sighed, getting up and offering Velora a hand to pull her up. “Sorry we didn't see anything, darling.”

“It's fine, it was still really cool to see where they live,” Velora assured her, smiling again as she got to her feet and leaned over the edge just one more time. “Maybe we can come back one day, and have more luck then.”

“Yeah, why not. That sounds like a good idea,” Vax agreed, stifling a yawn. “Hey Stubby, how long until we're back at the car? Do we walk back the way we came?”

Vex shook her head and took a moment to study the map they'd taken with them. “It's a circular path, and the way back is way shorter. Shouldn't take more than an hour. You two ready to leave?”

She got two nods, so turned back around to lead the way again. Their little group was a lot more quiet on their way back though, a weary silence hanging over them, but at least it didn't diminish their fun in any way. Velora still looked around with an attentive eye, pointing out birds and other small critters when she saw them.

A good twenty minutes passed before she caught something a lot more interesting though. Right next to the path was a beaten track that had clearly been caused by some kind of animal, something big. The surrounding bushes and branches were damaged, showing that something had moved through them with little care.

Velora was the first there to investigate, and probably would have disappeared right into the forest had Vex not held her back. “What do you think did this? Do you think it's still here? Can it see us, do you think it's dangerous?” All her question came in quick succession, leaving Vex little time to answer.

Gently pushing her sister back towards Vax she ventured a few steps forward herself, trying to see if there actually was any danger to them. But it seemed like whatever had crossed the path here, it had done so a while ago.

“No, it's probably long gone,” she called back to the other two, turning around again to make her way back. Which was when she noticed them, lying on the ground just a few feet away from the path. A big, brown-ish feather, with black stripes all the way down, along with some smaller ones. Most of them were damaged in some way, but somehow, the big feather had remained unscathed. And she knew exactly what animal it came from.

Carefully picking it off the ground and holding it behind her back, she finally walked back to Vax and Velora. “Guess what I found,” she told her sister, grinning in the knowing way that only older siblings could pull off sometimes.

“What?”

“No, you have to guess,” she insisted, only seeming more amused when Velora rolled her eyes.

But the girl took the challenge, squinting slightly as if she was trying to see right through her sister. “Hmm... oh, you finally found Glissfoil!” She grinned widely, absolutely sure of herself and that she'd bested her sister in this somehow.

But Vex just shook her head. “Nu-uh. That would have been cool, too, I'll grant you that. But I found something way better.” Not wanting to torture her any longer though, she presented the feather, giving her a pointed look. “You know what this is from?”

It immediately got her an excited gasp, and with a gentle nudge from Vax Velora reached out, taking it into her own hands. “Wooow, this is so cool,” she whispered. “Do you think it's from one of the owlbears living in the caves?”

Vex nodded, briefly looking back to the spot where she'd found the feather. “We're not too far away, it's plausible. I hope that makes up a bit for not seeing one live.”

Velora nodded eagerly, still studying the feather closely. Then she looked from her new favorite possession to Vax, and seemed to get an idea. “Can you put it in my hair?” she asked, holding the feather out to her brother this time. “You know, like you sometimes do for Vex?”

“Oh... yeah, sure. C'mere,” he told her, pulling her a bit closer and turning her around, facing her away from him. “Stubby, you got a hairband?”

Vex didn't, but had no issue with taking out the one she was currently wearing, and Vax made quick work of the task in front of him. He produced the same trademark side-braid that was usually reserved for Vex, sure that she wouldn't mind, and then secured the feather behind one ear. It was a bit big, but all in all still looked very nice.

Velora was definitely happy, still brimming with excitement all the way back to the car. And despite the fact that she swore up and down that she didn't need anything else, the twins insisted on hitting the gift shop again before actually leaving. Velora ended up choosing a mug with, to no one's surprise, more owlbears printed on the front, and spend a few additional minutes fawning over a very nice selection of pocket knifes with Vax.

But before they knew it they were all back in the car, all the new souvenirs packed away in Velora's bag, and on their way home. It didn't take long either for a very slight snoring to start up in the car, both from the backseat and the shotgun position. They weren't even officially out of the park. But Vex didn't mind much, not even when Trinket joined her sleeping siblings halfway through. At least that way, no one could complain about her choice in music.

[artificialqueens]

The Bullshit of Whiplash. (Bitney) - Zeezee.

Summary: Shane receives a drunken phone call from Roy and hears more than he ever expected. There’s no way he can pretend with his “friend” that he didn’t hear a private conversation, and so, with anxiety but a strange sense of hope, he confronts him. What comes is explosive and more than either of them anticipated. Sometimes people are complicated.

A/N: Based on a really old request - “A Bitney fiction/one shot where they drive for hours and it’s a warm night and they fall asleep on the ground watching the stars while talking about their life. (Even more bonus points if it’s after an argument that they fix)” Okay so I know it’s been months since this was requested , and I did start it when the person requested it but life got in the way, and for some reason I picked it up again recently and didn’t want to stop. It went somewhere I didn’t expect, but I hope y'all enjoy!! - Zeezee <333

(Also shout out to the wonderful Veronicasanders for being my first beta! Supportive through and through, especially when it comes down to the heated discussion that America doesn’t have burger vans and I have to remember middle aged Drag Queens don’t eat the same food this British 20 something graduate does. Thank you, V! My favourite bitney bitch.)

Words: 15252. (Whoops, my hand slipped.)

Shane had had a particularly stressful few days, but not begrudgingly. He’d been travelling all over L.A. doing gigs, filming videos, and recording new music. He couldn’t recall when the last time he’s sat down to relax was. Had it really been weeks since he’s kicked back with a glass of wine and one of his trash television shows? Was it before or after the phone conversation with his mother about the vegan recipe he emailed her? It must have been around the time he first started booking studio time after writing lyrics to a new song…

Whenever it was, it was overdue!

There wasn’t anything in the world that meant more to Shane than his work, and he would never trade his job for all the leisure and money in the world. However, to actually lay back on his couch, swirling a glass of wine in one hand and the other holding the back of his head…it was heavenly.

Shane never imagined he’d ever be this happy when he was a kid picturing his adult life - of course he never exactly envisioned himself dressed as a woman, performing in sweaty bars with drinks being spilled down his sequin dresses. He knew the limelight was his calling, the stage was his fate, but under a stage name wearing lace fronts was a delightful surprise. He use to worry nothing would ever come of his life, and those years stuck in limbo, hopping between retail jobs, was horrifying for someone as ambitious as he was.

All the worry was in the past now. Shane was wonderfully content. Lavish living, grand friendships, regular work and not a grey cloud had been seen in weeks, what more could he ask for?

He decided to spend his Friday night in the blissful company of a sweet vanilla candle, the soft tones of John Mayer’s acoustic set, and his tattered copy of The Great Gatsby. He hadn’t read the novel since he was 17 years old and studying it in school, and there was a constant yapping stuck at the back of his head to get around to rereading it. Why not finally give in after so long now he has the free time- there wasn’t anything else he wished to do right now.

At first it’s a little odd to be alone and free of actives. His glass of wine is sour in the right way, making his mind swim after a few sips, and that takes the edge of the abnormality of being able to do whatever he wants. Soon he’s wrapped up in the elegant language of his book, and the stress bruised under his skin begins to soothe and return to his normal beige.

About an hour later his phone starts to ring. Without any rush, he picks up the mobile and looks at the caller ID. It’s a picture of Roy from the last Christmas party, wearing a crudely knitted Rudolph jumper, eyes half open as he pretended to make out with a broom. Shane hadn’t seen Roy in months, and he truly misses his company. Some of his best memories came from the nights out he had with Roy - one of his all time favourites was when he, Roy and Danny were all together in Boston and got completely wasted in an alley bar. Afterwards they stumbled to the closest public park and lay on the grass with greasy slices of pizza in tissue, and they stayed there for hours talking about nothing in particular. Danny threw his crusts in the air and Roy cursed him out when it landed on his head. Shane gave the bench near by a lapdance while Roy and Danny sang ‘Baby Got Back’ out of tune. All of them were brought back to their younger days when getting drunk was the most exciting part of their plans.

“You know, I don’t say this often, but I love you. My little angel.” Roy teasingly drawled out, pinching Shane’s cheek. Danny had fallen asleep while wrapped up in Roy’s jumper, cheese and sauce smeared around his mouth as he snored. Shane and Roy sat watching the stars, knees touching and boundaries thrown out the window. They were usually mocking with their affection toward one another, but when Roy got drunk he was suddenly overwhelmed with love and admiration, and it was sweet to receive.

“You’re really laying it on thick tonight, pussyface.”

“I’ll show you thick.” Roy tried to say seductively, but burst out cackling, falling on his back holding his stomach as the laughter racked through him. Shane shook his head, watching his friend find himself so amusing.

“Come on, we better wake sleeping beauty and get ourselves back to the hotel.” He pushed himself up and reached his arm out for Roy. The older man took it with a grateful smile, but to his surprise tugged Shane down to land on top of him. He began cackling again, holding Shane close, and then Shane found the amusement of the situation and laughed along with him. He may have stayed on top of Roy for longer than either expected, but his warmth was endearing and comfortable; he wanted to stay in that moment forever.

“You know, I’ve never really noticed but…you have really nice eyes.” Roy complemented, stroking Shane’s back.

“Oh. Wow, thanks.”

“You’re welcome.  

Shane smiles to himself as he recalls the memory, seeing Roy’s picture on his phone is like a blessing in disguise. He misses him terribly, truthfully, and with a playful smirk, Shane answers the phone.

“Hello?”

“Haaaaaaaaay, cumbiscuit! My favourite asshole in the whole world!”

The sounds over the phone pound with bass, making Shane wince at first, accompanied by galvanised screams and familiar taunting voices around Roy’s. Shane could tell instantly by the way his friend’s tone droned out, flatter in pitch and more nasally than usual, that he was drunk. Approximately 3 fireballs and two double vodkas in drunk.

Shane laughs. “You having a good time, pussyface?”

“You bet your sweet ass! Your horny self would be creaming all over the place if you were here! There was just a guy on stage with sleeve tattoos and calve muscles bigger than your head. Very your type.” The sound of his eyebrows bouncing could practically be heard in the teasing allure of his tone.

Shane frowns, confused. “Where exactly are you?”

“We’re in Montreal, in a-”

“In a strip club, bitch! The guys here are so hot! Twink heaven for sure, even the overgrown ones like yourself.”

Shane hears clashing as Roy snatches his phone back from Detox, shouting at him in a quick rage before composing himself as he returns to the phone. “Sorry about that. Everyone’s drunk.”

“Including you?”

“Obviously, why the fuck would I stay sober?”

“Maybe because getting blackout drunk isn’t cool or exciting after the age of 25.”

“Fuck you.”

Shane laughs, picking up his wine glass and leaning against the wall nearest. Hearing Roy’s voice did something to him he couldn’t completely explain - a small twinge of melancholy, caught up in everything else that’s so much heavier. He doesn’t have time to acknowledge the feeling because he’s always busy, there’s no time to evaluate something as minuscule as what it is he feels for his best friend. It’s probably just the fact he misses him so much. Roy always knows exactly what to say when Shane was most down, and he always knows how to make Shane laugh. Roy just knows instinctively how to make Shane feel good with the simplest gestures.

Shane takes a sip of his wine and hums. “So, a strip club aye? You hoping to get lucky? Let me guess.” He smirks, pointing a finger forward as if Roy can see him. “Shorter than you so you don’t feel inadequate, muscled arms, short blonde hair, and a great rear end? No- a perfect rear end. That’s the Roy Haylock check list, right?” Shane snickers smugly. “You’re too predictable.”

“Again, fuck you! I am not predictable, and that is not my type!”

“Yes it is.”

“No it’s not!”

“Yes it is.”

“No it fucking isn’t!” Roy laughs. The music was still heavy in the background, and Shane could hear the familiar voices around the table teasing Roy for being on the phone. It was a little peculiar that he would call Shane in the middle of a night out. “Hold up, I just want to get somewhere quieter, stay there!”

Shane listens to the shuffling static on the other end and the few times Roy shouts “excuse me!” as he marched through the presumably busy room. Soon it’s quiet and all he hears is Roy breathing.

“You good?”

“Yeah.” Roy says, laughing under his breath before grunting. “I’m so drunk- shit. You don’t feel it till you’re outside.”

Shane has always been amused by drunk Roy - he’s a lot more open and free spirited. He walks across his living room into his kitchen, putting the wine glass on the counter and leaning on the surface to watch out his window. “You’re such a mess.”

“Neither of us are clean queens, bitch. I know what you’re like drunk so this is strictly a judgement free zone, got it?” Roy warns, going on before Shane could interject. “When was the last time I saw you? It’s been way too long, right? So fucking long. Was…was it when we went to the alley bar in L.A with Darienne? And oh my God, he took home those two 20 something year olds! HA! He left us, a couple of losers to lick our wounds. What an asshole. But, that was it, yeah? That was when I last saw you?”

Shane smiles. “Yeah. Well I saw you the next morning when you woke up hungover and almost naked in my bed- if you want to get technical.”

There’s a pause, then a cough. “Mmm. But I can’t believe it’s been such a long time. I miss you, my little angel. Feels like I’ve lost an arm being away from you this long.”

Shane can’t help the eruption of a laugh that let loose. “Okay, I’m cutting you off- you’re way too drunk for your own good!”

But his laughter doesn’t interrupt Roy’s train of thought. “You’re such a great guy, Shane. As much as you can be a cunt, you’re so good deep down- real good. I need to see you soon, I need to laugh with you.” He chuckles - Shane swears he can hear Roy falling against a wall or something. “You know Valentina stole my fucking white liner! I bet- she fucking wore a lot of white at our gig last night and magically mine has disappeared. Or, maybe I lost it, I don’t know. Detox has been all over it, saying she’s trying to steal my look, trying to take my gigs. Alyssa too, prancing about the place, pretending to stone everything…” there’s a long exhale of breath. “I miss you. You’d love it here, it’s a great fucking laugh.“

Shane’s stomach curls in on itself ever so slightly to make him groan, quiet enough Roy didn’t hear. “When you back in L.A? We’ll do something. There’s a new vegan dessert place that just opened up a few streets down from my place.”

There’s a mess of static movement, then the familiar bass pounding through the background of Roy’s humming. “Two weeks- no, less than two weeks and I’m back. Clear your schedule, we’ll do a whole shebang! Watch some crappy movies, go to this vegan place you’ll probably beg me to try out, it’ll be great!” He hears scraping against wood and more voices cheering. “Listen, I’ll let you go but text me tomorrow morning. Remind me, and we’ll plan it!”

Shane smiles. “Sure. Have a good night, Roy.” He says, picking up his wine glass again.

“I’ll think of you as I’m shoving dollars down a strippers pants.” He laughs and sets the phone down.

Shane was about to hang up and get back to his evening read when he heard muffled laughter still coming from the speaker, and then a faint high pitched voice ringing through the assortments of sounds. Shane held the phone back up to his ear, realising his friend hadn’t hung up. He laughs, ready to hit end when he heard the indisputable voice of Detox:

“You’re a sucker for that guy, I swear.”

And as quick as a flash, he was hooked on the conversation, needing to assure whether “that guy” was himself or the possibility it was was a young, naive stripper that had captured Roy’s attention solely. Either was as unlikely to be the right answer.

“What the fuck you talking about?” He hears Roy slur, not quite angry but not quite amused.

“You, and those big heart eyes you have whenever you talk to Courtney. Are you ever going to admit it?”

Shane’s heart was suddenly in his throat, his eyes wide. He put his wine glass back down and listens closely, wondering if he’d stumbled into a lucid dream.

“Admit what? There’s nothing to admit to.” Roy laughs- that boisterous, overly masculine laugh that differs from the dolphin like sound. Shane holds the phone closer to his ear, as if he can fall through the speaker and land in front of the other man, listen more attentively. He doesn’t realise he’s been holding a breath in the whole time eavesdropping.

“You have the biggest crush on him, Roy. It’s painfully obvious.” Shane thinks it’s Alyssa that speaks.

“Oh, fuck you guys.” Silence, then a glass slamming on the table. “I talk to him the same way I talk to any of you, and trust, I’m not looking to stick my dick in any of you pigs.”

“Sure you do.” Detox coughs. “I’ll think of you as I’m shoving dollars down a strippers pants- Oh cum biscuit- Miss you, cum biscuit!” The sound of mocking kissing noises, then laughter. “The sooner you face it, the easier it’ll be to get over it.”

Shane’s not sure what to think. He’s half praying for more denial, but there’s a twinge in his chest that’s hanging onto hope, like he could stand the very notion with so much distance between them, and so much intimacy already to sieve through. His breaths get heavier, harder to swallow, and his eyes grow frighteningly large. Shane’s not afraid of complications, but he’s afraid of someone like Roy. Those who clung to their personas, and ran when life got too real.

The conversation seems to have fallen quiet, then there’s a barely audible sigh. “It’s not like I can really admit to that shit though, let’s be honest. Maybe I feel something for Court, but we’re friends.”

Shane thinks his heart might implode.

“Friends can fuck.” Shea says; people clink their drinks in agreement.

“I don’t fuck where I eat. Too messy.”

“But you admit you want to fuck Courtney?” Shane can’t quite tell who it was that time. Probably Detox.

“Fine, yeah, I’d fuck Courtney. You happy?” A round of cheers before it settles again. “Whatever. I’m never going to tell him how I feel. It’s like having the flu, just gotta ride it out.”

“Haven’t you been trying to ride it out forever?” Detox teases. Shane hears Roy groan.

“You know what they say, B. Longer than 6 months means you’re in love!” Alyssa drawls out, drawing everyone else to laugh.

Shane yelps, hanging up abruptly before he can be sucked into a truth he’s not ready to face yet. Not when he’s so alone, with a glass of wine. Although as soon as he’s off the phone, and the room plummets into a dark silence that echoes his frantic heartbeat, he realises that it’s little too late. Shane knows something he was never supposed to, sinking under his skin and burning holes through his bones, weakening him.

How long? Since when? Why him? What now? Shane’s brain races a thousand miles an hour as he tries to come up with the answers he didn’t know he had. All of a sudden, things were so different. He couldn’t comprehend how with so much space between them and time to waste, Shane and Roy were now two different people to each other, and Roy was none the wiser to the shift. Behind the lock screen of Shane’s phone, Roy still loves on, drunk in a strip club with their friends, clueless to the skittish thundering of Shane’s heart. His best friend, the seams of their relationship straining to break free-

Shane falls against the kitchen door frame.

“Fuck.”

That was all he could say. A thousand thoughts whittled down to a single curse.

His home suddenly felt tainted. The words echoing between the walls, the underlying emotions still left a mystery screaming like unruly ghosts. The truth was Shane didn’t care about a friend liking him, and someone like Roy, it could be a whole lot worse, but if he knew the older man like he did than that meant the whole ordeal was going to be a trip. Someone like Danny would be easy, they could make out and maybe even sleep together and Danny would bore of him and they’d fall back into their friendship. Willam would skip all pleasantries, they’d fuck out of frustration and then go back to normal after a fortnight of bitchy texts. Almost all of his friends were pretty liberal and sexually free that awkward crushes were as normal as eating breakfast- but then there was Roy. The man with so many hang ups and defence mechanisms it was like talking to a robot sometimes. Roy, who only went home with strangers from bars when he was on his own and never in front of Shane, but of course he had a type. He who never had a boyfriend, only hookups, and a million secrets.

Well…there was that one guy. The model, what was his name? Shane only met him once, and now that he thinks about it Roy had seemed more interested in him than his actual boyfriend.

He needs support. The more he thought, the more his headache came forward. He calls the one person who could help.

“Booty call central. You stock it, I’ll suck it.”

“Hello Willam.” Shane couldn’t laugh, not this time.

“There’s only two reasons people call this late, and that hello was not the hello for fucking.” Willam clicks his tongue. “Not that I’d fuck you anyway. So, who died? Oh God please don’t be a parent, I’m not good with that shit.”

“Willam, if my mother died, I wouldn’t call you first.”

Willam fakes a hurt gasp. “Why not?!”

“You just said yourself you’re not good with that stuff.”

“I said shit, not stuff.”

“Okay, off topic. No one’s dead, Willam.” Shane rubs his eyes, looking back at the wine glass on the counter. He needs something much stronger now. “I just found out something I shouldn’t have, and I don’t know what to do.”

“What was it?”

“You can’t tell anyone.” Shane warns, eyes piercing as if he can see Willam in front of him; arms crossed and expression over it.

“I’m not making that promise.” Willam laughs, making Shane grit his teeth in frustration (maybe not the one person who could help after all).

“Willam, seriously-“

“On a scale of you being pregnant to you being Trump in disguise, how secret is this, really?”

Shane looks at the phone quizzically. “What? I don’t know…as secretive as Trump fucking a clown would be.”

“Oh, so this is about Bianca.”

Shane’s heart drops. “How did you guess from just that?”

Willam scoffs. “Code word: Clown. Come on then, spill. What’s Count Grumpula done now? Stuck a white liner up your ass and called it a night?”

He rolls his eyes at the childish laugh on the other end of the phone, then sighs. “Roy’s in love with me.”

“WHAT?!” The laughter gets louder, it sounds like Willam might pass out. Shane wishes he could find the amusement in the situation.

“Okay, maybe not in love, but he likes me. He has a crush on me, or whatever you say when you’ve passed the age of 12! I heard him talking to- Willam, will you stop laughing!” There’s a few more wheezes, then the supportive words of encouragement for Shane to continue. “I heard him talking to Detox and Alyssa and whoever else, and he said he can never tell me he likes me. He said he’d fuck me. What the hell do I do with that piece of information?!”

“I dunno. Fuck him?”

“You’re the only other person I know as emotionally unavailable as he is, and even then you’re not good enough.” Willam gasps again, Shane ignores it. “What do I do? Should I confront him?”

“At his age, I’d be scared you’ll give him a heart attack. But I mean, what else can you do? The cats out the bag now- Bitchy Del Rio got caught in the act.” If an eye roll was audible, Shane’s would be deafening. “Your best bet is to offer him a blow job of condolence, and then never bring it up again. Bianca is too much of a professional to ever let a friendship become more than just that, especially you. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade your cunty ass in for anything, but you’re all feelings and talking, and Bianca…isn’t.” Willam’s bluntness stings Shane slightly, he feels a faint watering festering behind his eyes. He wills them back, biting the inside of his cheek as Willam went on. “But, you’re you. I could tell you anything and all you’d hear is ‘talk to him, talk to him’ so I guess my advice is, talk to him. Just say you know he wants to eat out your ass and you’re cool with it.”

“Willam, why take it there?” Shane says, this time laughing, finally.

There was the sound of jingling pots on Willam’s end of the phone. “Here’s a question. Are you cool with it? Would you let Bianca fuck you?”

In Shane’s head, the question was less ambiguous of emotion: Are you into Bianca too? He thinks about it for a second, the static of the phone and Willam obviously now talking to someone on the other end as the only background sound, and it really didn’t bother him. Full disclosure, Shane thought Roy was incredibly attractive when they were together filming Drag Race, and he had hoped they might hook up just once, but as time went on the fantasy became less and less shiny and soon was another rusted idea, left to collect dust but never thrown away. Roy was still attractive, and he was one of the funniest people Shane had ever met, so maybe the answer was yes, in a weird round about way that could only come up if thrust upon first. If Roy was to kiss Shane, he wouldn’t be repulsed; he’d probably be a little sheepish and filled to the brim with butterflies.  

Shane exhales through his nose loudly. “I’ve got to talk to Bianca.”

Willam hums, uninterested. “If it was meant to be, it’ll be. Don’t call me crying when it goes belly up though, call Alaska.” With that, Willam hangs up. Shane knows that’s his way of caring, directing him to the person who’s emotionally capable of listening to raw feelings, and that’s fine. Willam is the type to be honest, and echo the thoughts a person would rather pretend don’t exist in their head.

Shane’s arms fall to his side, and his body slides down the frame of the door till his bum hits the floor. He sits there, thinking, head dropped back as if he can play the scenario in his head on his ceiling. He had to confront Roy - of course he did, there’s no way he could go on with this secret, but he had little faith in his friend being calm enough to have a mature conversation.

Less than two weeks, that’s all. Shane could wait. It gave him time to write a perfect script for the confrontation; even enough time to write Roy’s lines.

-

Shane’s dreams become infested with Roy’s image. It’s not that they’re profound or sexual, he’s just there. Sometimes a main character, sometimes just in the background. It leaves Shane a little breathless when he wakes up.

Roy’s texting as if nothing’s changed, because for him it hasn’t. Shane replies as if nothing’s changed, just to maintain normality.

With every passing day, Shane feels more and more nauseous. He doesn’t know how he’s going to confront him.

-

Roy almost threatens Detox to keep his lips sealed about their little conversation. He laughs, and Roy worries it means his shameful secret is about to become news to everyone, but Detox assures him they’d all agreed what happens Montreal, stays in Montreal.

He’s never telling him the truth. Never ever. His feelings will die with him, and maybe Shane will find out after he’s long gone, but that’s okay. Less aggravation for Roy. Montreal is the closest to genuine Roy ever plans to be about his feelings for his friend.

-

Willam: AAA gig in San Diego next week. Bianca’s on the line up. U fucked yet?

Courtney: Still away. We’re not going to fuck.

Willam: Alaska agrees you should fuck.

Courtney: I told you not to tell anyone!

Willam: She’s been rooting for you two to get together since day 1. Don’t make her cry.

Courtney: Why did you tell her!

Willam: I told you I wasn’t promising. But fine, I won’t tell anyone else. I promise.

Courtney: You’re an asshole.

Willam: Can’t argue there.

-

Bianca: SAN DIEGO GIG. DO YOU WANT TO TRAVEL DOWN TOGETHER?

Bianca: Sorry, caps.

Courtney: Not getting Mr Del Rio to personally escort you? ;)

Bianca: I’M NOT FUCKING MY ASSISTANT, STOP CALLING HIM THAT!

Bianca: I meant for caps that time.

Bianca: I get back the day before. We can get dinner before driving down. I was thinking of arriving early morning so it’ll be a late drive.

Courtney: I have a new vegan recipe I’d like to try. Come over to mine instead, then we can go!

Bianca: Being vegetarian doesn’t mean I like vegan food.

Courtney: I thought you liked my cooking :O

Bianca: I tolerate it. 6PM I’ll be over. We leave no later than 8PM.

-

Roy had been sitting in Shane’s kitchen for about 10 minutes now. When Shane had answered the door, he felt a weird anxiety twist through the bones of his rib cage like a snake, and it was as if Roy had been away at war for years how Shane was sickly relieved to see him. The wise old eyes as normal as they always were, not any more or any less fond of Shane, and the smirk stitched to his face, the seams scarred, his dimples sharp like glass. His lips were more plump than the last time they’d seen each other, Shane couldn’t help snicker.

“You’ve been hanging around Detox too much.” Shane teased, tapping his own bottom lip.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

They hugged, for good measure. Roy’s arms like tree trunks around his body, he felt secure in his hold, all the frivolous thoughts that had been causing him such anxiety suddenly gone. For Roy, it was just another hug on another day, but Shane had been counting down the seconds until they were next meeting, needing closure on the truth Roy had no idea had been revealed. He was real, not just a voice over the phone or an image in a dream- Roy was a physical body with a working heart, and arms that kept Shane from falling, and he felt happy.

Shane stirred the pot of steamed vegetables. Roy made fun of him. They ate together and didn’t talk about the line between them that they tiptoed around, staying on their separate sides. Roy laughed at something Shane said, and vise versa. Why couldn’t it stay like this forever?

Because Shane was horrible with keeping things in and pretending there wasn’t an elephant in the room.

“I haven’t exactly got a strippers body.” Roy says in response to Shane’s comment about Montreal. He’d seen the video of all of them on stage, where Bianca strutted down the stage and barely touched the stripper pole. Shea was all over the metal like it was lathered in strawberry lube or something, but Roy would never dare be that provocative. “Or face. Or anything. I’m the guy at the bar you talk to after trying to fuck the stripper, grabbing the first top you see.”

“You say that,” Shane takes another bite, chewing loudly, not noticing how Roy scowled. “But you’re pretty flexible. You keep it under lock and key but I saw you doing that gymnasts class with Violet.” He swallows, pointing his knife at Roy, sly smile as if he’s caught his friend in a lie; the unimportant lie compared to what’s to come. “Bet those moves come in handy in bed.”

Shane takes note of how Roy shifts slightly, stuck for a reply longer than what was normal for him. Not the kind of statement he should be throwing around at the guy who has a thing for him and maybe that’s alright, Shane hasn’t decided yet-

“The bartender I picked up in Montreal didn’t seem to mind, sure.” Roy replies, winking. He took the last bite of his food then wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Nice work chef.” He stands up, taking his plate to the sink to wash up - like they were already living a domestic life and this was their house, and washing dishes was their little way of saying ’I love you’ after a long day. Shane lets him take his plate, stuck on his remark.

“A bartender?” Shane repeats. The blush that slithers up his neck makes him twitch, holding the hot skin. The night Shane had spent awake until the exhaustion kidnapped him, Roy was fucking someone. He holds a calm demeanor. “Was he typical blo-“

“No, he wasn’t fucking blonde. He was taller than me, he had two stick arms covered in tattoos, but he did have a great ass so I’ll give you that one.” Roy turns off the tap, drying his hands on his side. “And that’s all I’m telling you.”

“Oh, come on! You can’t just drop a bomb like that and leave me in the dark.” Shane’s eyes follow Roy as he sits back down, then he rests his head in his hands, smiling like a giddy kid. “How was he?”

Usually Roy would stay coy unless under the influence, but he feels a little dangerous tonight, like flaunting a good time to Shane wasn’t the end of the world, and might in fact help him build himself up. He raises an eyebrow and laughs under his breath. “He talked a lot and came too fast, but he knew how to ride a dick so what else mattered. It was one of those nights where it didn’t really matter who it was. I just needed someone.”

Shane’s eyes widen and he tries to play it cool. He straightens in his chair. “Why? Didn’t you have a good time in Montreal?”

Roy shrugs, still smiling. “Same old shit just a different day.” His eyes fall, dragging his finger along the table edge. “It was fun, sure. The same why getting drunk with sloppy, horny queens is always fun, but it just…I had stuff on my mind I guess. Sex always settles the waters, so I got laid and the rest is history.”

Shane swallows the lump in his throat. He feels like he’s against his doorway again, sliding down to the floor, feeling pity for himself. He can still hear Roy’s voice like static whistling through his empty house, bouncing from wall to wall, haunting him. Now he’s here, with the reality of his anxieties in its physical form; the same pointed face with humble brown eyes; he imagines that face distorted with pain, hair tousled and lips swollen after intense sex, waiting to fall asleep with thoughts of Shane. Does Roy fall asleep thinking about Shane? When he was with other men, their bodies soaked in sweat and the sheets stuck to their skin they throw them off the bed for a breeze, does his heart hurt for Shane instead of whatever stranger? Maybe it was narcissistic for Shane to think he was that significant, but he would have never imagined it before he’d found out the truth.

He had to hear it, as a confession.

Shane reaches his hand across the table, touching Roy’s fingers and creating a comfort he needs for himself let alone the other man.

“You can tell me. Whatever’s on your mind, I’ll never judge you.” Shane says, his fingers delicately stroking along the cracks of Roy’s knuckles. They’re a little bruised and battered, but he doesn’t bother asking, both out of fear it’s to do with him or it’s even worse. Roy’s eyes look down at the action, and he holds a breath for a second, before yanking his hand away and rolling his eyes.

“Stop being a dick, I’m fine.”

The subject is dropped. Roy goes on about his wonderful adventures in Montreal and Shane pretends he’s not annoyed hearing about it - the place that was the setting for the destruction of normality. The bartender. The guy Detox was trying to blow. The overcompensating ‘straight guy’. Shane had to hear about them all, and he was beginning to wonder if whatever the feelings were Roy was having were starting to get stronger, hence why he was having more casual sex and indulging him in the details for the first time ever. A good friend wouldn’t have felt jealous, but how could Shane not when there was so much now lying between them.

Before leaving, Roy rooted through Shane’s wardrobe and picked his drag apart piece by piece. Either too trashy or too classy, and Shane would reply with laughter and a middle finger. Roy tried on Shane’s wigs, doing his best Australian accent and twirling around the room, just to get a cheap laugh from his friend, who was fallen spread across the bed in fits of laughter, cursing under his breath all the same. Nothing was different, it was still light and breezy between them- yet Shane couldn’t look at Roy without wondering if he was in pain, or if he was seething with unspoken words left to settle in the dust, and it was driving Shane insane let alone the person who actually felt everything.

Although, how was Shane supposed to pretend he didn’t feel anything for Roy? Of course he did. It was subtle, and more of a distant thought that would need some time to blossom, but it was there. Those short bursts of breath caught on the edge of his tongue when Roy was shirtless, or the sweet sighs of relief after too much laughter together, or the cramping of his heart when they’d been apart for too long. In the most obvious sense, Shane had always had a thing for Roy, but he was so used to bursts of admiration and accepting love that came and went, he never paid any attention to what was right under his nose. Not really anyway, not enough that he ever thought past hooking up and into the realms of a relationship.

They’d probably work out too, if Roy was good with accepting emotions as wonderful and not scary. Shane would keep the level head, Roy would keep them organised, and they’d stay like best friends with all the extra parts that made being human so extraordinary.

However, watching Roy toss the long strands of blonde hair over his shoulder, Shane feels sick again. Lost in the confliction, he needs something to tide over the crashing waves of his stomach.

“Roy, I need to tell you something-”

“Shit!” Roy looks at his phone, before shoving it back into his pocket and pushing Shane slightly as he ran out the room. “It’s almost 8! Fuck, where did the time go?! Come on, asshole, get your shit in my car and let’s get the fuck out of here!”

Shane listens to him gallop down the stairs and run out the door, and when the house was bare, he grunts in annoyance, falling on his back.

-

The evening was setting in. The stars had began to appear in the navy sky, twinkling brighter the further out of the city they drove. Shane rests his head on the window, the cold of the glass and the soft hum of the music brushing by him like drizzly rain, it’s okay. A contrast to the tensing of his chest and the looping of his thoughts, as Roy drives steady down the road.

When Shane was a kid he used to love star gazing in Australia. The American sky has nothing on the outback, that was for sure. Shane can still remember the lucid blues dipping into one another, the black fawning over, and the stars would burst through like there was an urgency to be seen. So many nights he would lay on the warm sandy ground, hands behind his head as he stared up at the breathtaking view, and he’d wish for all the opportunities to bless him. Sun kissed skin caressed by the first breeze of the day, he’d smile every time, like it was the first and last time he’d felt wind. Staring out the window now was less tranquil and more agitating, as if those same stars that once gave him comfort had seen the true, ugly colours of his sinful adulthood. The lies, the tears, and everything that made Shane worry.

American air was stiffer, and the stars were duller- Shane felt like he was about to implode, and Roy still had no fucking clue.

“My mom called the other day asking if I’ve been eating right.” Roy says, breaking the silence. Shane lifts his head to listen more intently. “It’s like I’m not a fucking adult and I’m still the 20 something disaster starving himself in favour of vodka and cable TV.”

“You had your priorities.”

“We can’t all be Mr Tiny Tot, some of us had to work two jobs on 3 hours sleep just to make ends meet!” Roy laughs, winking at Shane before sighing. “Remember when we were 20 though? It was like someone threw a huge hunk of beef into the lion’s cage- every gay for himself! As soon as I was out of my parents house and had my own place…I didn’t sleep alone until I was like 25.”

Shane raises an eyebrow. “You, a regular sleepover host?” He huffs out an exaggerated laugh, smirking wickedly when Roy flips him off. “What happened to that Roy, aye? Aw, were you a little spoon in your 20s?” The very idea of Roy curled up to someone, defenceless to the affection of someone else wanting him, it was amusing yet warming.

But there’s a quiet that settles dark over them. Roy shuffles in his seat, smile untraceable, and then he coughs. “I grew up. Whatever. My 30s were better. I had money, I had dogs, what the fuck else did I need?” The smile returns and Shane relaxes along with Roy.

There’s no point prolonging the inevitable. The repeating anxiety that wavers in every tense silence, every forced conversation was pushing Shane further and further off the edge.

“Roy, I really need to talk to you about something. It’s important.” he says, quiet. Roy looks over at him suspiciously, before shrugging and taking a turn.

“Sure. What’s on your mind?”

“Well, it’s not easy.”

Roy rolls his eyes. “Haven’t seen you in forever and you want a serious chat? Okay, fun, lay it on me.”

Shane curses himself, because soon Roy’s going to be angry and the mood will be awkward, but he can’t go on pretending he doesn’t know.

“Roy…I know the truth. I know how you feel about me.”

He thinks for a second he imagined saying it by the way Roy doesn’t react. He stares at his friend, face blank, eyes clear, nothing strict on his pointed face. Then a chuckle.

“You know I think you’re an asshole? Yeah, that’s not new news.” he jokes.

“No, Roy. I heard you, on the phone in Montreal.” He pauses, watching for any reaction: just his brows falling. “I know you…like me. I also know the last thing you’d want is to talk about it but I need to know, from you. How do you feel about me, Roy?”

The older man stays quiet, processing the confrontation. The cogs in his head furiously spinning, going into overdrive and the smoke begins to pour from his ears as a weird feelings starts to overwhelm him. Anger, so normal, but there’s fear and panic, and his palms are suddenly sweaty as it becomes apparent his dirty little secret is no longer a secret. He tries to take a relaxing breath, laugh it off, but Shane is deadly serious.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Shane,” he replies, voice a little tighter but still firm. Shane sees through him like glass, and keeps watching him, studying him.

“I heard you with Detox and Alyssa and everyone. I already know. I just think we should talk about it because…well, now I know, there’s no going back to before I knew.”

“You’ve obviously dreamt this or-”

“Don’t try and convince me I’m crazy or something, I know what I heard. I’m not trying to embarrass you. We’re friends, I just want us to have an honest, healthy conversation about our feelings for once.” Roy scoffs, but Shane ignores the clear distaste. “I haven’t seen you in a really long time. I missed you like crazy, and after I heard what you said…I started thinking.”

“Please stop.”

“I’m mean hey, it’s not exactly crazy, we do get on like a house on fire! And I can’t pretend the idea of us hasn’t crossed my mind.”

“Jesus- seriously, stop.”

Shane rolls his eyes. “Why? Look, it’s just a conversation. There’s nothing wrong with actually having feelings and wanting to be with someone-”

“E-fucking-nough!” Roy yelled, slamming his hand down on the leather of the steering wheel, making Shane jump and widen his eyes in shock. They fall painfully quiet, and the only sound his Roy’s breathing, quick and brash, full of annoyance and urgency to escape.

Shane didn’t think it was possible for someone like Roy to have a panic attack- he seemed untouchable to the real, raw emotions everyone else showed, the good, the bad, and the ugly. He watches Roy’s face frozen over while his eyes light up like a Christmas tree, caught on fire, shards of glass exploding as the electricity expands. His jaw tenses, his nose flared, his chest high like a proud bird- this was a Roy no one had ever seen.

Terrified.

Still angry, that was normal, but all the same, there was terror in the mix.

Shane was suddenly scared to be in the car with him, his hands stuck to the steering wheel, like he could drive off a cliff’s edge at a whims notice if it pleased him so. He watches his friend, flicking through words to string together a coherent lullaby to calm him down.

“Roy, it’s fine,” he starts, tugging his seat belt to check it’s definitely locked. “I don’t care. These things, they’re a part of life! I just felt wrong pretending I didn’t know, and I wanted to apologise I’d overheard. It’s not as if I want to end our friendship over something so trivial.” He tries to give him a comforting smile, but Roy’s breathing picked up as he continued to stare intensely onward. He looks somewhere between murderous and dying. Shane would normally open the doors of affection, set his hand on his knee, stroke his back, something that would settle all anxieties, but this was the man that locked those doors and threw away the key. Shane held back his hand, like Roy might bite it off, and kept talking. “You don’t need to worry. Really, I’m flattered if anything!” he laughs; it doesn’t loosen the tension. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, Roy…It’s okay.”

Abruptly, Roy takes a sharp turn down a dark road off the main junction, Shane shifting in his seat as the force of the metal takes strength. Roy grits his teeth, muttering nonsense between short bursts of breath, racing down the pitch black. Shane grabs the ceiling handle and holds on tight, yelling at his friend to slow down, but it’s all white noise. All Roy can hear is the drumming of his heart and the echoes that mock:

I know the truth. I know how you feel about me.

It’s okay.

He skids slightly, not flinching when Shane grabs his arm and screams. He pulls over, car bucking as it mates the curb, and he barely even checks the cars off before hurtling out of it, almost being dragged back by his seatbelt. He scrambles up the dirt path, breathing erratic like he’s in danger of losing it, his legs turning jelly the higher the climb. There’s a grassy hill - he sprints for it, everything in him pounding and crying, he thinks he could drop dead from the lack of control.

Shane grabs the car keys and locks it up, running after Roy. The wind rushes past, burns his skin with a breeze, blistering his pale complexion; the weather sending them down a turmoil of disillusion, like it was all a game; as if anyone could control anything around them. His calves burn as the hill lifts, begging him to stop. There’s not a breath of hope he’ll cease at how fast Roy is running. He watches the older man reach the top and then fall to his knees, and Shane stops. His feet run out of energy and he awaits, the space between them looming the longer Roy kneels, silent.

Then, a loud, gravelly yell breaks the navy sky, and the stars pour upon their souls out of shame and pity.

“FUUUUUUUUCK!” Roy shouts, his voice echoing off into the distance. “FUCK, FUCK, FUCKING FUCK!” He repeats, like the curse could send him back in time. His face drops into his hands, scowling as he breathes heavily through his teeth. Shane watches, standing in the middle of the unknown field, half irritated and half empathetic toward the older man’s obvious fear of real human connection. It didn’t take a lot to see him angry- or, whatever this may have been- but this wasn’t the time he expected the usual.

I’m different. Shane thought, crossing his arms as his own anger rose. I’m different, I’m his friend- one of his best friends. I get him. I know him. I would never hurt him, never.

The night is hauntingly black, and the stars are fickle. Shane can feel the colours fade from his cheeks as the cold waves by, but he doesn’t do anything to warm up. He stays still, watching the older man melt down in the distance, thinking. It shouldn’t be such a big deal, it’s a part of life, developing feelings for a close friend. It’s happened to Shane a million times- he’s not even remotely disgusted or awkward about the fact Roy thinks he’s attractive. If anything, he’s a little too delighted. He couldn’t even bare the idea of ditching Roy over something so unimportant. Why is he overreacting like this?

Shane finally storms over to him after too long of watching the temper tantrum. He lifts him to his feet and grabs Roy by the shoulders shaking him. “Calm the hell down, you’re in your 40s for God’s sake!” He pushes him back, not too hard but enough force to make his friend stumble. They stare at each other, unable to register the others thoughts by their face. “Why are you freaking out so much? It’s not that big a deal.”

“It fucking is to me, asshole!”

“Why?”

“I’m no good at relationships, Shane! I’ve fucked up every single one I’ve been in.” He crosses his arms, looking away, as if looking for too long into Shane’s eyes may cause him to combust, burn down to nothing but the ashes of his affection. “I don’t want to fuck up with you. You’re one of my best friends.”

Shane inches closer. “You don’t know you’ll fuck up. You can’t avoid things in life because you’re scared.” He lifts his smile, trying to catch the other man’s eye, let him know with more than words he’s in safe hands- but rather holds back a curse when the stubborn bastard resists eye contact further. “Just tell me the truth, Roy. I want to hear it from you.”

Roy grunts, pinching the bridge of his nose. The wind picks up, brushing through the overgrown tufts of his hair. Shane watches him, feeling like he may fall off the edge of their crumbling cliff if he didn’t say something: anything! In all the time he’s known Roy, he’s never seen the man in such a flustered silence before.

“What do you want me to say, hm?” Roy barks. “Let’s get married, have a couple of kids and live happily ever after? Is that what you want?”

“No, but I-“

“You what?!” Roy’s glare feels like flame throwers. “This isn’t what I want, Shane! For fucks sake, I don’t want to tell you shit!” He laughs sinisterly. “I’m fine on my own. I’ve got my dogs, I’ve got all my teeth, I don’t need anything more. I don’t need you.”

The walls are starting to go up. Shane needs to think fast, before the bricks are too high and they’re on separate sides of a conversation, yelling into the oblivion.

“Okay.” Shane says, a tone of affirmation. He straightens up and frowns, his smile never breaking. “You don’t need me, fine. I don’t need you either, but maybe I like you being around. That’s allowed, you know. What, you think I need you, like I’d need medicine or something? You think I’d need a closed off cunt like you, really?!” Shane squares up to Roy, and his lips finally falter, straightening into something else- as closed off as Roy is, as cold as the weather is. It makes the older man stiffen slightly. “You’re against opening up but I bet you’re fine with a blowjob. What’s a blowjob between two friends, aye? Sex isn’t important, as long as we don’t talk about it-“

“Get over yourself.”

“No!” Shane shouts. The air turns bitter. “Get over yourself. Come on, Roy,” a smirk reappears, “I know you. Take home a guy, a Tom or a Chris, as long as he’s all over you, and you forget how to be human. Fuck him, get a gig, rinse repeat! You’ll never need a relationship if you satisfy your dick, and you’ll never need to face your feelings if you keep busy- keep running!” Before he could even stop himself, Shane shoves Roy backward. “I heard you, Roy. I know what’s going on in that head of yours.” He shoves him again, this time getting a reaction from Roy slapping his hands away. “Let’s just do what everyone does. What you do, get it out our system’s, fuck away the pain and feelings till we’re empty shells.” Shane links his fingers through Roy’s belt loops, frantically toying with the belt buckle as opposing hands fought him. “Nothing real, just full blown sex.”

“Stop!” Roy grabs Shane by the wrists and holds them up high. He’s practically seething with fury, nails digging into the taunt white of Shane’s skin, but he looks hurt - Shane can see the anguish in his dark eyes. “For once, can’t you not be a slut?”

It’s like acid. Shane can only laugh. “For once, can’t you be human?”

They stand like that for too many seconds, feeling like haunting hours, his grip loosening but never releasing. Everything felt other-worldly, as if they’d been taken over or they’d died, watching a version of themselves that bubbled with a vengeful rage. Roy was smart, he’d been through the trials and tribulations of every disaster natural life had to offer, and even though he was desperate to fight on, he knew deep down Shane wasn’t the worst trial he’d faced. He was the sunniest, the most kind and compassionate being he’d had the pleasure to meet, that falling in love with him was hardly going to kill him - but the fear wasn’t the falling, it was the landing. He didn’t want to splatter a bloody mess when Shane laughed in his face, or worst of all, smiled with that warmth as he let him down gently. He couldn’t bare handing over his heart and being rejected, worst of all by someone so magnificent. The pain of repression was better than the kiss of death.

Roy’s head drops. He takes a breath, the first that doesn’t feel like it’s being held out of reach. He lets go of Shane’s wrists, running a hand through his hair. “Well…look, I’m not good at being human. I’m better at smart, bitchy comments that don’t cut me open.” He looks up at Shane, his face going soft. “I don’t want to make an ass out of myself. That’s not my style. I’m the guy you go to when your boyfriend cheats on you and you need someone to drink with, or the one that helps you make a dress, or…” He grits his teeth, frustrated he can’t string together the right words. “I’m not going to give you what you want. That’s just not who I am.”

The burst of anger settles the raging waves of Shane’s wrinkles, his face falling smooth. He looks at Roy, and his chest heaves, hurt and needing for satisfaction. Time might run out if they don’t race for the ending. He slowly takes Roy by the shoulders, holds him steady as he looks deep into his eyes, seeing galaxies and infinities he wants to settle into, then pulls him in for a tight hug. It takes Roy a minute to process, but soon his arms are around Shane, squeezing back. They embrace till the wind stops, and the crickets sing, and the pressure of the air brings back the colour to their cheeks. Where did the cold go?

Shane pulls back, still holding Roy in case he falls. “I already told you, I know you. You’re more than you’re giving yourself credit.”

“Thought I wasn’t human?”

Shane rolls his eyes. “You’re a pain in the ass, and I was angry. I’m sorry.” It’s sincere, the blues of his eyes shimmering bright as hope refills his irises. “I won’t leave you, Roy. It’s just us here, no one else. I promise, if you tell me the truth, we can move past it. I’ll never bring it up again and you can go straight back to repressing everything. But for once, just say it. Say how you feel.”

His head is racing- Why does he have to say it? Why does it matter if they’re going to move past it? Why does it feel like he might burst into tears any second? Roy scowls, but he doesn’t let go of Shane, he’s afraid the world may tear open if they let go. There’s the smile that catches him breathless on a whim’s notice, and there’s the sparkle in his eyes that brightens up his world on a dull day, and there’s the accent that drives him up the wall but makes his heart skip a beat with every greeting. Roy wasn’t meant to fall for Shane, but he did.

Before he can argue with himself, he gives in to his desires and grabs Shane by the scruff of his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. Their teeth clatter but they don’t pay the pain any attention, rather Roy pours his heart into the kiss before it’s too late, his lips plush against Shane’s, his hands tight on his collar. It’s like he’s learning how to kiss for the first time all over again, the sweet serenity of feeling another man so intimately, as if the contact could open up Shane’s chest. He hopes it’s enough, that it’ll tide over the curiosity of Shane, and satisfy his own sanity, but before he can pull away he feels hands in his hair, and a tongue in his mouth.

The field is absorbed by the crystal black sky, and they delve deeper into the foreign passion, shattering the darkness with bursts of light. Sparks. Electric, heated sparks that keep their blood flowing and their hands feverish. Roy hasn’t kissed someone like this in years, he could get drunk on it if he’s not careful- Shane is already far gone, he’s wasted on the affection. His fingers lace in Roy’s hair. His legs buck. He pulls Roy down and they collapse on the grass, still kissing, never stopping, and then they’re a tangled mess like a pair of naughty teenagers.

Roy rolls onto his back, shifting Shane to sit on his waist and finally they pull apart, breathing desperately as if they’ve been suffocating. Shane’s skin is so pale under the moonlight, and Roy’s is burning red under the weight of his admission, fear stricken eyes begging for a release soon. He really is suffocating he thinks, with Shane’s eyes boring holes through him, and his hands pressed lightly against his chest. Shane can feel the rabbit-like pulse under his palm, and it’s the thing that forces him to break the mould with a laugh.

Roy frowns. “Don’t fucking laugh,” he commands, not as strong as he would have hoped. Shane bows his head before composing himself, a quivering lip still.

“I’ve got the hots for you too, pussyface,” he says, way too casually for Roy’s liking. “Always kind of have, if we’re being honest.” Which Roy still isn’t completely, but Shane’s grateful he’s quiet for a moment- that’s his honesty, as well as the kiss. “I’m sorry I was eavesdropping. Peek not at a keyhole, lest ye be vexed. But I guess if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be here.” He shifts his hips, feelings a certain appendage beneath him grow, Roy’s eyes widening more with confused annoyance. “What’s a little dry humping between two friends, aye?”

“You’re the fucking worst person I’ve ever met.” Roy says, deadpan, his hands involuntarily lifting to Shane’s hips. “Can we pretend this didn’t happen?”

Shane’s smile drops. “Do you want that?” he asks, with a fragile kindness Roy is eager to shatter, regain his strength and leave victorious.

He stays quiet too long. “No,” he answers, honestly. “But I don’t know what I fucking want.”

“Do you want me?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want to stay here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want-“

“I’m starting to find what I want is to rip off that pea sized head of yours.” Roy throws his head back and grunts, squeezing his eyes shut. Shane decides to roll off Roy, and lays beside him, keeping quiet. He turns his head to admire him: the long spidery lashes, the point of his nose like a hill, the hollow crinkle of his smile lines on his cheeks. How could Shane not think he was breathtaking? Anyone with working eyes and coherent thought would find themselves caught under Roy’s spell, but Shane was used to crushes. He’d never shined a light on the feelings tucked away in his rib cage before, but they’d lasted impressively long now he thinks about it. Unlike Roy, it doesn’t phase Shane - he’d like to kiss the older man again, but he knows life isn’t always so generous.

In the absence of words, Shane boldly takes Roy’s hand in his own and squeezes playfully. Roy turns to look at him, lost for a moment, till he feels his heart thud like a jackhammer in the presence of Shane’s sunny disposition. He relaxes, his anxiety slowly untangling, and squeezes back on his hand as a sign of solidarity.

“Take your time.” Shane says. His hand is so soft- Roy hates how even his fucking hand gives him butterflies.

“Okay.” Roy licks his lips and breathes. “I’m a fucking asshole, I know. Always have been, always will be, and that reflects in the guys I’ve dated. I have scarred every guy I’ve dated some way or another, because I can’t stand someone knowing everything about me, because they’ll hurt me. It’s fucking pathetic, but that’s the truth. I was single for so long, and then…” He pauses, like someone’s gotten pliers and is trying to open him up, he has to take back the control. “I thought age would change me, but it didn’t. I’m good at the good bits, but I’m a fucking shit storm in the end. And you,” he snickers, “You’ve meant more to me than any boyfriend ever has, and that terrifies me. You’re not like anyone I’ve dated, you’re not the type I’d formed in my head, but you’re…you.” His dimples pinch his cheeks, seeing Shane’s lips tug up, ego probably stretching too. “I do need you, Shane. I do. But I can’t let you hurt me, because I refuse to feel that shit again, and I can’t hurt you, because that’ll fucking kill me.” He tries not to physically cringe at the line, holding his breath before exhaling, “I like you a lot.“

The world seems to have stopped, time no longer existing in the presence of their loving exchange. Shane’s heart swells, and his mood sores through the heavens. He tries not to react like a giddy school girl, but the way Roy looks pained, the way he’s still his best friend under the damage, makes him lift with jovial spirits. He doesn’t move too quickly, afraid to startle Roy, but he shrugs. “I can take pain. I’d gladly welcome it if it meant telling you—“ he chokes on a laugh, stroking his thumb over Roy’s knuckles; they feel rigged with scars. “Telling you the feelings are mutual. You shouldn’t be afraid. We all have a past, we all have demons. I don’t want you to be so afraid of hurting me you avoid what you want, and I would never hurt you, you gotta know that. Roy, I like you too, a lot. And that’s okay.”

“But I’ll fuck it up in the end-“

“You can’t be sure of that. I’m stronger than I look anyway.”

“Really, it’s always been an inevitable with me-“ Shane rolls over and stops him with another kiss, hard and painstakingly slow. Roy’s eyes slide closed as he slips through the lazy current of their ocean, waves coming and going, it’s stupendous. Shane pulls away but stays close, noses touching.

“Let’s just have tonight. I’m fine with pain, I just want you. The funny cunt who isn’t afraid of hurting someone.” Shane let’s out a long, tense breath, stroking Roy’s cheeks in his hands, needing a reminder he’s still here, that he’s not floating away. “Please?”

His gut is screaming to run, flee to the high hills and stay a prisoner of the dark, but Roy can’t seem to deny his primitive urges. Shane’s hands on his face, their chests touching, he feels more home than he ever has. Maybe this is the scare he needs. “Okay.” He gives in, settling Shane to rest on his chest, holding him close. “We’ll have tonight.”

Roy gives over a part of his heart he’s been holding back for far too long. They lay beneath the blanket of stars and watch the lights flicker, the twinkling specks bringing them closer to God and each other. Shane listens to the beating of Roy’s heart like it’s the sea inside a shell; like it will reveal secrets he’s always wanted to know; like it’ll surrender itself for the risk of love. He rests a hand over the one Roy has on his stomach, and sighs with relief. No more tensions causing earthquakes, they can rest on the edge of a cliff that looks over the vast sea of their devotion. In reality it’s a grassy hill somewhere between Los Angeles and San Diego, inhabited by only peace and them. There’s moments of quiet, there’s moments of laughter, and there’s moments that can only be satisfied with lips, spreading over the skin of a neck or a shoulder or wherever sensitive.

It’s like they’ve been doing this for years how natural it feels.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” Shane says, some point past midnight. He sits up, looking off into the distance where there’s the muffled sounds of cars speeding down the highways, and even further are the blinding lights of the city that have nothing on the bliss of stars guiding you home. Roy props himself up on his elbows. “I shouldn’t have made you talk about your feelings if you didn’t want to.”

“No, maybe not…but it’s over and done with now.” Roy shrugs, taking Shane’s hands and sitting up. “I’ve never trusted someone like I trust you. Sometimes I’ll be buying groceries and I’ll think of you and it feels like a knife in my chest how much I’d bleed for you. I see some pretentious vegan cookbook or someone starts talking about gender politics or just blonde hair and bam, I’m fixated and I want to talk to you. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before.”

Shane blinks, smirking. “Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“I had no idea.”

“Kind of what I was hoping for.”

“So you’ve loved me since Drag Race?”

“Don’t get cocky.” Roy throws Shane’s hands back at him, snickering as Shane bursts into laughter.

There’s not much more to add to the conversation, for fear of going in circles. More kisses, more silence, then the reality must tire them out so much they fall asleep in each other’s arms across the grass, the wind sprinkling in to disrupt the wind. Roy wraps his arms around Shane when he shivers, and maybe this is all that was meant to happen - the beginning of an unknown confidence, bursting from the pits of fear, and nothing more. Maybe their night of romance was destined to be fickle and short lived, given it was never supposed to happen. If Shane hadn’t overheard, Roy would have gotten off scot-free, the walls being miles high around him. They’ll always have each other, but they don’t need this night to become anything more; because broken dishes and fists through walls and bottles upon bottles of sleeping pills are twice as painful when risking a friendship.

At least, Roy knows that. Shane is blissfully innocent when it comes to emotions.

-

Morning comes and Roy shoves Shane awake. They don’t speak initially because they’re hoarse with sleep, but the quiet soon becomes heavier than that. They get back into the car and drive, just the static radio to talk in space of any conversation they could have forced. Roy has bags under his eyes and his fingers keep twitching as if wired on caffeine, and Shane wonders if this is what they’ll become. Are they reduced down to awkward silences and antsy movements, because if so Shane will kiss Roy again just to knock some sense into him. Purely for Roy’s own benefit, nothing to do with what he so desires of course.

20 minutes go by before Roy speaks. Shane doesn’t break the silence because it’s not his heart on the line. He has feelings too, but it’s Roy’s vulnerability that’s fogging up the air. “We don’t tell anyone about last night,” he says, voice gruff like he’s smoked a pack of cigarettes. “I don’t want to complicate things further.”

Shane wants to argue back that everything is already complicated so why pretend otherwise, but he settles on a nod. “And what about us?” he asks, his face wanting to lift with a smile but not wanting to arise prematurely. He watches Roy with such intensity he thinks his eyes might fall out of his head, and the older man does the same but to the road ahead of them.

“I don’t want anything more than…” he pauses, takes a deep breath and grunts. “Nothing happened.”

Shane scoffs. “You just want to go on like nothing happened?” Roy doesn’t answer, so Shane goes on, more annoyed. “Why don’t you want to be happy, Roy? Why is it you’re more preoccupied with keeping a reputation than letting yourself be happy?! I’m not saying we could go the distance but-”

“Exactly, yet I am saying that we can’t.” Roy finally looks at Shane, just for a second. His eyes are burning with anger, but they’re sorrowful. “Don’t you get it? I fucking know where this is heading, and I don’t want that. You think if we were supposed to be together it would have taken this long, with that amount of convincing? Whatever last night was, it’s the end of the beginning.”

“But-“

“You won’t change my mind.”

If Roy scowls anymore, he might get stuck that way. Shane purses his lips, then laughs, trying to lighten the insatiably heavy mood. “How about a blow job? I’m pretty good with my mouth, I’m sure I could change your mind.”

Roy doesn’t laugh. His hands tighten on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white.

Shane sighs. “My feelings don’t matter then. What if I wanted more?”

That’s what makes Roy snicker, and Shane wants to kill him in that moment. His usually lovely dimples defined in a moment to hurt Shane. He’s starting to realise Roy really has scarred all of his ex boyfriends, because it already feels like there’s a cut running down his chest to his navel, but he refuses to waste a single drop of blood for him. Roy takes a turn, less cars on the road now, and he takes a second to look at Shane again. He looks smug, as if he’s won any of this bullshit. “You’ll be fine, Shane. Like you said, what’s a little dry humping between two friends.”

Shane’s throat closes. A whine he hadn’t realised within him caught on his tongue, sour. “You really want to play pretend? Roy, I’d never want to hurt you-”

“God, you’re a pussy. Are you always this fucking dramatic? Sometimes I feel like all I do is babysit you and Danny, and everyone else. Grow the fuck up, Shane. I’m not scared of getting hurt, so shut up,” Roy lies, grunting, then laughs, full of malice and a dark evil presence. “You and your bullshit, you’re like a damn migraine. You’re not the first person I’ve had to get over and you won’t be the last, so get off your high horse. You’re not special.” He looks over, up and down Shane’s body then scoffs. “You never will be.”

The last time Shane felt this angry- spiteful, like his fingers could turn into claws, and his jaw could dislocate so he could cut up and swallow everything blocking his path- was before he moved to America. When he was going through the motions of an unruly ocean, unsure of himself as every other Queen in Australia told him he was worthless. When he started coming to terms with his gender and his sexuality, and the spinning was beginning to stop, he’d feel hands push his shoulder and he’d be off again like a tornado. Their snarky red lips, their broken eyes, the only thing they wanted was to destroy Shane before he had a chance to grow with Courtney. The snapping was an outer body experience, he promised himself he’d never get that angry again. Last night with Roy was already intense, but here in the car, watching his friend mock him was more than Shane could handle. He wasn’t about to be walked all over; not again, never again.

Maybe Shane did want to hurt him.

“Wasn’t my dick that was hard last night though,” Shane says, his tone calm but his eyes raging. He sees Roy stiffen, and the smell of fear is delicious. “It’s not me that’s in love with his best friend. That’s all on you. How does it feel, huh? Knowing no one will ever love you as much as you love them, and it’s all your fault.” Shane’s never felt so strong yet so weak at the same time. He realises they’re off the highway now and on a main road, with pedestrians and walking life. “Stop the car, I’m getting out.”

“What?”

“Stop the fucking car, you cunt.” Shane doesn’t shout, but he’s stern. Roy rolls his eyes, pulling over and turning the car off. They sit in silence for a second- Shane hopes that maybe Roy will say something to stop him, to pull him back under his wing and keep him calm, so they can repair whatever was tearing between them, but he doesn’t. Roy crosses his arms and waits, not dare looking at Shane. He laughs at Roy’s expense, getting out the car and slamming the door. “Call me when you get a spine.” Shane shouts, kicking the car door for good measure as Roy readies to speed away. He knows he heard him, but the exhaust of the engine still makes him cough up all the pain in his chest.

He stands in the middle of nowhere, watching the direction Roy had driven, and tears finally fall from his eyes. They’re not red hot and cooling down his cheeks, they’re soft and strained, barely bringing up any flush on his skin.

He calls an Uber and gets sent to Willam’s hotel room. He doesn’t care if he said not to call him when he’s crying after the downfall, he’s going there regardless. And Willam welcomes him, not with a hug, but with a look of pity and a shot of tequilla.

“Do you love him?” Willam asks when they start packing up their drag to leave, Alaska on her way down from her hotel room to meet them, leave as a three. Shane doesn’t lift his head from his duffel bag, but he can see the look on Willam’s face in his mind’s eye: the facade of smugness that’s really care.

“No,” Shane answers. “But I probably could have, if he wanted me to.”

-

Bianca knows she’ll have to face the music sooner or later, but she’d rather wait till Courtney’s squirming and pleading for her forgiveness. Apologise for forcing her to admit to a truth that made her sick. Apologise again, because the one she left last night was all in the moment, laced in stars and love hearts and all the shit Bianca despised.

She sits at her makeup table in silence, applying her foundation while listening to Adore and Katya babble about nothing interesting. Every so often she touches her chest, the space between her pecs, and lets out a breath of relief that there isn’t a gaping hole, rotting, making her sicker. It feels like it. Telling Courtney everything had left her more vulnerable than she had been since she was a teen first coming out. She hasn’t felt this powerless since her first great love when she was 22, which felt like a whole lifetime ago now she’s had two decades to grow since.

But that guy, with his fiery red hair and enchanting blue eyes, had been the one who changed Bianca’s perspective on love. She wouldn’t be used that way ever again. She wouldn’t let anyone get close enough to hurt her again, because if it happened, she knew she had to hurt them first.

It didn’t matter that Courtney was 100% different from the men of her past. It didn’t matter that Courtney was actually compassionate, smart and could crack a joke as well as Bianca could. It didn’t matter she could run circles around every other man Bianca had dated, because the point was as precise: she didn’t date for her own good, no exceptions.

Of course when she applies the lipstick to her lips, she thinks back to the way Courtney kissed her, bare of drag, but full of feelings. It felt amazing to let go of all her inhibitions for a change, and the hands on her hips to her chest to her shoulders, it was almost freeing for a second like she was reborn. Courtney- Shane, like an angel, no false persona or foundation to cover the red cheeks, Bianca felt her heart soaring at the sight. Courtney was breathtaking, and it was going to kill her a hundred times over in a hundred different ways if she allowed herself to love wholeheartedly. It always did, but this time might not be so numb, and she might not be able to forget with fireballs and tequila. This time might push her over the edge…

And as if Courtney liked her too- that was the pity talking when she said that, how convenient she’d have had feelings in return!

Whatever. It was over. Bianca was moving on. No more thinking about the kissing, or the light touches, or the running out of oxygen feeling like a drug. No more thinking about Courtney.

Bianca adds a few extra strokes of glue to the sides of the lace on her wig, grunting in frustration as the top layer begins to teeter over. Sometimes she despised being a drag queen. Katya and Adore are still cluttering the air of the dressing room with their madness, and it irritates her, more than it should. She glares at them through the mirror. Katya’s whole body spasming as she laughes, Adore’s mouth abnormally wide like she’s catching flies, it’s all too much to handle given the day she’s having.

“What the fuck is so funny? Can you guys shut up for a second, is that doable?” Bianca barks at them, pressing down on the lace hard. Adore and Katya share a look, smirking mischievously like a pair of misbehaving kids, and laugh again at Bianca’s expense.

“Well aren’t you a sour puss!” Katya mocks, strutting over to Bianca and grabbing a few pins from the desk she sits at, holding the higher wig up and sticking it back in place so it doesn’t fall. Bianca watches her, still frowning, not about to give her any sort of gratitude for the help. Katya walks round to sit on her makeup table, crossing her legs more exaggerated than needed, and stroks her chin. “Tell me dear, how’s your mental health?”

“Fuck you, you dumb cunt.” Bianca laughs, spraying her face with a setting spray. “You two are just annoying.”

“Wow, B. You’re usually so nice to me.” Adore whines, wrapping her arms around Bianca and squeezing her, keeping her grip tight when Bianca tries to bat her away. “Come on, tonight’s going to be fun! You, me and Court haven’t been together in, like, forever!” She pulls away, obnoxiously chewing gum, then blowing a bubble and shrugging as she pulls it back into her mouth. “Swear to God, I’m gonna get so fucked tonight! Like- drag my ass off the sticky dance floor I’m trying to hump- fucked.” She laughs, and Katya joins in with a witchy cackle. Bianca rolls her eyes at the two and moves to get changed into her dress.

Dealing with Adore drunk was usually innocent fun, but Bianca is dreading seeing Courtney again. She wasn’t going to let herself spiral into a panic of course, but the anxiety is creeping up on her. Courtney was so angry when she left the car. She had never been that angry in the entirety of their friendship, never mind because of Bianca. If she was a bigger person, she’d admit to feeling guilty. Courtney is actually a good person. It felt like kicking a puppy watching her get so fiery, but it also proved to Bianca she could never drag Courtney down with her in the phenomenal disaster that was a Haylock relationship. If Adore was in the middle, maybe things would feel light and airy, and Bianca could smugly pretend nothing happened.

She slips into her short off shoulder black dress and brushes it down, admiring her reflection in the mirror. Adore and Katya had scampered away at some point unbeknownst to Bianca, but she’s grateful for a moment of silence. San Diego was supposed to be fun - it was always jovial when so many queens were working together, but Bianca can’t focus on anything positive long enough before flashes of the unmentionable force her chest to tighten. She feels claustrophobic in her own body, under the control of her damn feelings.

As she’s touching up the last of her drag, the dressing room door slams shut and she jumps up to see Courtney, arms crossed and face furious. She looks too beautiful to be so angry. Her blonde hair falling around the razor sharp edges of her face, her body delicate and curved, holding so much rage seems impossible in such a tiny figure. Bianca stares at her cluelessly, before all she can sum up was an awkward laugh.

“I guess we’re not going to forgive and forget?” She jokes, scratching the back of her neck. Courtney doesn’t speak, just glares harder it feels like someone is punching Bianca in the gut. “Damn, angry don’t suit that pretty face of yours.”

“You done?” Courtney interjects, the pixie tone gone sour, her accent stabbing. Bianca’s eyes widen, but she can’t muster up a usual anger for self defence. She’s powerless to Courtney’s fury. “You’re a fucking cunt.”

“Wow. Harsh.”

“No, it’s not. In fact,” Courtney lets her arms fall as she slowly walks closer, squaring up to Bianca, their faces barely inches apart that the tension could smother them to death. “It’s perfectly fitting for you. You, who calls everyone a cunt, who pushes everyone away. You, who wants to be such a control freak you’re willing to hurt me.” Courtney snickers, cocking her jaw as she riled herself up. “I confronted you about being in love with me because I care about you-”

"I’m not in love with you-”

“Then what, Roy!” Courtney screams. The silence is suddenly unbearably loud. Bianca has to take a step back to remember this is her friend. Courtney groans, scrunching up her fists and balling them at her temples before composing herself. “Fine, you don’t love me, keep telling yourself that, but I know you.”

Bianca finally comes back to consciousness, scrunching up her face. “What? Oh we’re back on this! A lot of people know me well, for fucks sake. Jamie knows me like the back of his hand, Adore knows me she could probably tell you what I’d say before I said it- a lot of people ‘know me’. So fucking what!” Bianca shakes her head, smirking, wicked and sinister in hopes it’ll stab Courtney in the heart. “What do you know about me that’s got your cage so rattled?”

Courtney raises a brow. “Really?” she asks, calm but in disbelief. “Shall I make a cute little list for you, is that what you want? Fine. You like shit to be precise, you have to plan your day down to the T, you worry your dad’s not proud of you even though he’s told you a billion times he is, you cry when you first see your dogs after being away for so long- just to name a few, but I’ll go on!” Courtney scoffs, holding her fingers out to count. “You didn’t tuck in drag until a New Orleans queen said you had a big dick, you’re a bit scared of heights hence why you drink vodka on your flights, you have an unhealthy obsession with reality television, and the first guy you fell in love with hurt you.” Courtney catches Bianca’s eyes, and for a split second, she falls soft: compassionate. “And I know how. And I’m sorry.”

Bianca stands staring, completely shell shocked and it feels like all the colour from her face had drained from her body and was pooling around the base of her stilettos. All she could do was keep eye contact, listening to the drumming of her heart, so strong it could probably break from her rib cage. Courtney stood tall, not breaking to comfort her, and that hurt more, impossibly so Bianca felt tears behind her eyes. She could feel the red around her contacts, pinching her nails in her palms to will the waterfall away. A frown- she frowned like she always did when times got tough.

“A lot of people know that stuff.”

“No they don’t.”

Courtney was right, and Bianca knew Courtney knew it. She bites her bottom lip, thanking her lucky stars when she feels the tears retreat. “So what? Do you want a gold medal?”

“All I wanted was for you to be honest. Like I thought we always were.” Courtney sighs. “Why do you have to make it so hard? I mean…do you know me at all?”

Bianca’s brows lift, but the rest of her body dropped smooth like velvet. She might get whiplash from her emotions if this continues any longer. “Yes,” she says, barely louder than a whisper before she coughs. “Yes, I do. I know you like I know myself. I wish I didn’t know you so well!” Bianca holds out her hands, but not for anything in particular to fill them, just for distance between them to close a little. “God– look, I’m never going to be able to be honest with you, definitely not when I’m sober! But I did that last night. I tried, and I told you I’d hurt you, and I don’t want that, because you don’t deserve it. Court, you’re one of the most amazing people I know, that’s why I can’t tell you everything.” Bianca drops her arms, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Because if you know everything, it’ll change us. If you know completely how I feel, I’ll have to break you.”

Courtney doesn’t move, by choice and by force. She was exhausted going through the loops, and despite how tolerant she was, Bianca’s self pity, protect-herself bullshit wasn’t going to go down well with her.

“You know what?” she starts, breathing loudly. “It’s already changed us. You thinking I’m a child, like I need protecting. Look at me right now. I’m here, telling you off and you have your tail between your legs, so fuck off.” Bianca pushes out her lips, rolling her eyes, but Courtney ignores her. “You better say something smart in the next five seconds or I’m walking out and we’re done.”

“We’re done?” Bianca snickers. “What does that mean?”

“Five,” Courtney says, stern. Bianca frowns.

“What do you mean we’re done?”

“Four,”

“Now who’s being condescending?”

“Three,”

“Courtney, what do you want me to-”

“Two!”

“OKAY!” Bianca panics, and then it comes out like projectile vomit. “I’m in love with you and I hate myself for it because I haven’t been in love for years, and I don’t know how to do it!” She groans, her throat feels like shards of glass are cutting up her flesh. “I don’t want to be in love with you! That feeling is so much fucking stronger than the actual being in love shit! Because you can get anyone you want, and in fact, you do! And you may be the most amazing, generous person I’ve ever met, but I’m not going through that again, I’m not being with someone who can click their fingers and get sex like that! From anyone else, but especially from me.” She breathes, remembering how, and realises she’d had her eyes squeezed shut. When she opens them, Courtney’s are wide and tired. Bianca feels like she’s a thousand feet above the ground, but unlike yesterday, the fear of crashing is nothing compared to the pain of the damn distance she keeps between them compulsively. “So there. There’s the fucking truth you wanted. I will not be with you, no matter what you say, no matter what you want! Because I’m selfish and I’m not going to be the hopeless romantic again to someone who doesn’t love me as much as I love them- just like what you said in the car.” Bianca looks her up and down, and scoffs. “Sometimes people are complicated. You can’t always conjure up a happy ending and make it happen.”

Courtney’s quiet as she processes. She looks down at the ground, defeated. Her limbs are aching, her head is pounding, everything that used to be so light and bubbly is overcome by the fatigue of an endless fight. She wanted Bianca, because she honestly believed they could work, but now that hope was shattering, and the cracks were out growing themselves to uncontrollable lengths.

This was it. This was the final done. Now there really wasn’t anything left to say.

So Courtney stops talking.

She takes a deep breath, feeling her lungs expand, cooling a burn, and then she smiles. Bianca is still staring with panicky eyes, and that’s it. This is the Bianca she didn’t know, and this is the Bianca that her past had moulded to protect her.

She walks toward the older girl slowly. She stops in front of her, and takes both Bianca’s hands in hers. Bianca lets her, but she watches skeptically. Courtney looks down, running her thumb over the other’s soft skin, and then lifts her gaze to meet hers again. Soft blue contacts, faint, shameful wrinkles by her eyes. Bianca is tired too.

Courtney leans in and kisses Bianca tenderly. Soft like a hummingbird’s wings, her heart as erect as them too. Bianca doesn’t fight, because she wants it so badly. They kiss like the world may stop spinning or the moon may collide, or they’re on the brink of death any second and the only way to get to heaven is to unload all the burdens of their hearts. Courtney kisses Bianca because she desperately wants to, and because Bianca needs someone to love her more than she loves them, for once.

When she pulls away, they just stare at one another with soft eyes, resisting smiling. Then Courtney says, “Well…we’ll always have last night. We’ll always have the night drive.” And she lets go of Bianca’s hands, finally smiling.

That’s when Bianca feels herself falling; plummeting, about come to terms with the reality of her self destruction.

“Yeah. Can we pretend this didn’t happen? Any of it?”

“Do you want that?”

Bianca’s head is screaming not to lie. She’s internally in hysterics, begging and pleading to let herself be weak and happy for once, because kissing Courtney was the adrenaline rush she’s in desperate need of, but Bianca is used to that bitch’s little voice trying to scream past the barricade. Last night was the only time, now she was done talking, forever.

“Yes. We’re just friends.”

Courtney nods, giving Bianca a final knowing, disappointed look before leaving to get ready for the show.

And from that point on, the ordeal was nothing but a distant memory. They remained purely as friends - damaged and wishful, but friends nevertheless. 

-

[swanqueeneverafter]

03. Snow Falls, Pt.2

Mary Margaret's apartment. (She sits on her bed, flipping through the book. The illustration of Snow White zooms into the Enchanted Forest. The thief who previously stole Prince Charming's jewels gathers various things and puts them into a bag. Also, she puts a necklace with a bottle around her neck. She slings the bag over her shoulder and heads outside to walk a short distance before being caught in a net. Prince Charming comes out of hiding; laughing.) Prince Charming: “I told you I’d find you. No matter what you do, I will always find you.” Thief: “Is this the only way you can catch a woman? By entrapping her?” Prince Charming: “It’s the only way to catch a thieving scum.” Thief: “Aren't you a real ‘Prince Charming’.” Prince Charming: “I have a name, you know.” Thief: “Don’t care. Charming suits you. Now cut me down, Charming.” Prince Charming: “I’ll release you, when you return the leather pouch you stole with my jewels.” Thief: “Not the jewelry type.” Prince Charming: “Indeed. I noticed.” Thief: “What is that supposed to mean? Are you insulting me?” Prince Charming: “No, quite right. My apologies. How dare I cast aspersions at the person who robbed me? Where are my jewels?” Thief: “I sold them.” Prince Charming: “What?” Thief: “What do you care? Don’t you have a palace full of treasures somewhere?” Prince Charming: “These were special. Among them was a ring that belonged to my mother. A ring I was about to give--” Thief: “The nag with the bad attitude? That’s what this is about?” Prince Charming: “She’s my fiancée.” Thief: “Good luck with that. You must be getting something impressive to have agreed to that union.” Prince Charming: “Excuse me?” Thief: “I know how this works. True love? It doesn’t exist. It’s all arranged marriages and business transactions. There’s no such thing as love at first sight or first kiss. Let me guess–her kingdom wants to take over yours and this is, what, a last ditch effort to avoid war?” Prince Charming: “This is not a takeover. It’s a merger, and quite frankly, it’s none of your business. Now, this is what’s going to happen.” Thief: “Mmhmm?” Prince Charming: “I’m going to cut you down and you will take me to whoever has my jewels and then, you’re going to get my ring back.” Thief: “Mm-mm. Why would I do that?” Prince Charming: “Because you don’t want me to tell anyone who you really are. (He takes out a piece of paper. It’s a wanted poster for Snow White, to whom the thief has a startling resemblance:) Snow White. Help me get my ring back, or I turn you over to the Queen’s forces. And I have a feeling the Queen’s not as "charming" as I am.” Snow White: “Well, I wouldn’t want to stand in the way of your getting true love.” (Prince Charming cuts her down from the net.)

Storybrooke. (Henry and Emma are sitting in the diner. Emma has just changed her shirt.) Emma: “Thanks for the shirt. Hey, is this your mom’s?” Henry: “She’ll never notice.” Emma: “Where does she think you are, anyway?” Henry: “Playing Whac-A-Mole.” Emma: “And she bought that?” Henry: “She wants to believe it, so she does.” Emma: “Oh, imagine that, must run in the family.” (Mary Margaret enters the diner.) Henry: “She’s here.” Emma: “Hey, don’t get your hopes up. We’re just getting started, okay?” Mary Margaret: “He woke up.” Emma: “What?” Henry: “I knew it.” Mary Margaret: “I mean, he didn't "wake up" wake up, but he grabbed my hand.” Henry: “He’s remembering!” Emma: “What did the doctor say?” Mary Margaret: “That I imagined it, but I’m not crazy. I know it happened.” Henry: “We have to go back. You have to read to him again.” Mary Margaret: “Let’s go.” Emma: “Wait, wait what?” Mary Margaret: “If I got through to him, if we made a connection..” Emma: “You don’t believe...” Mary Margaret: “That he’s Prince Charming? Of course not. But somehow, some way, I touched him.” The town hospital. (Emma, Henry, and Mary Margaret have just arrived there.) Henry: “You’re right—he’s waking up.” Graham: “Henry, you should stay back.” Mary Margaret: “What’s going on? Is it John Doe? Is he okay?” Graham: “He’s missing.” (The three notice that Regina is in John Doe’s room. Regina sees them, and approaches.)

Regina: “What the hell are you doing here? (To Henry:) And you – I thought you were at the arcade. Now you’re lying to me?” Mary Margaret: “What happened to John Doe? Did someone take him?” Graham: “We don’t know yet. His IVs were ripped out but there’s no sign for sure there was a struggle.” Henry: (To Regina:) “What did you do?” Regina: (Crouches down:) “You think I had something to do with this?” Emma: “It is curious that the mayor is here.” Regina: “I’m here because I’m his emergency contact.” Mary Margaret: “You know him?” Regina: “I found him. On the side of the road years ago with no ID. I brought him here.” Dr. Whale: “Mayor Mills saved his life.” Mary Margaret: “Will he be okay?” Dr. Whale: “Okay? The man’s been on feeding tubes for years on constant supervision. He needs to get back here right away or, quite honestly, ‘okay’ might be a pipe dream.” Emma: “Well then, let’s quit yapping and start looking.” Regina: “That’s what we’re doing? Just stay out of this, dear. And since I clearly can’t keep you away from my son, (Takes Henry’s hand:) I guess I’m just going to have to keep my son away from you. (Begins to walk past Emma but stops, looking the woman’s chest. Making eye contact with the blonde:) Enjoy my shirt, because that’s all you’re getting. (Emma smirks at this as Regina turns back to Graham:) Sheriff, find John Doe. You heard Dr. Whale. Time is precious.” (Regina and Henry leave.) Graham: (Turns to Whale:) “Doctor, how long between your rounds since you last saw him?” Dr. Whale: “Twelve hours or so.” Graham: “Then that’s what we need to account for.” (Everyone heads to the security room. Walter, the hospital security guard, and Leroy, the hospital janitor are both there.)

Graham: “You two were the only employees on the floor last night. And you saw nothing?” Walter: “Not a thing.” Emma: “Did anyone walk by?” Leroy: “I didn't see nothin’.” Graham: “Miss Blanchard, was there anything unusual you saw during your trip with your class?” Mary Margaret: “I don’t think so.” Emma: “We’re looking at the wrong tape. This is the ward where Henry’s class put up decorations. If this was really the tape from last night, we’d see the banners the kids hung.” Leroy: “Tch, you fell asleep again.” Walter: “You’re selling me out?” Leroy: “I ain't getting fired for this.” Walter: “At least I don’t drink on the job.” Graham: “Gentlemen, enough. Where’s the real tape?” (The tape is switched. They see John Doe get up and walk out the door.) Mary Margaret: “He walked out alone. He’s okay.” Emma: “Four hours ago. Where does this door lead?” Leroy: “The woods.”

[jaeplsno]

Lucky I lived in America for 4 years (1)

Its here !! our long awaited Jeff fic :) Also this will be chaptered and i know the title doesn't make sense for this chapter but i assure you it should will for the next one!! enjoy xx

Member: Jaehyun

Genre: Fluff i guess?? nothing really happens in this chapter tbh but the next one should be fluff??

Word Count: 1,154

Summary: ‘Your life suddenly goes from being carefree to being on edge every second of the day because what if it happens? But... nothings a problem for the almighty Jeff’

Next ( 2 )

“Jaehyun I’ve discovered something.” You say as said boy hands you your medication and a glass of water. “Oh yeah? What's that babe?” He asks sitting down on the edge of your bed rubbing your back as you take small sips of your water. “I can't understand Korean when I get these headaches.” You state bluntly, a smile threatening its way onto your face when you look at your boyfriend who's looking you dead in the eyes whispering ‘what the hell y/n’.

For the past few weeks, you've been getting horrible headaches that are completely spontaneous and unwelcome. You’d know when you were about to get one when your vision started blurring, your arms and knees became weak and, as you'd just made the miraculous discovery, you can't understand Korean. Unfortunately, all this had happened again last night while you were out with a few friends, luckily one of them had called Jaehyun to come pick you up before your headache could reach its climax.

“Thanks for looking after me by the way.” You say quietly to your boyfriend who just kisses your forehead and mumbles an ‘i love you, get some sleep’ before disappearing out of your room. These headaches really do take all your strength away so sleep comes a lot easier which is a bonus when you need it most.

You wake up (again) after a much needed morning nap, feeling a whole lot better thanks to sleep and painkillers. You walk out of your bedroom towards the lounge room only to see Jaehyun in the kitchen washi- JAEHYUN IN THE KITCHEN?? You do a double take thinking your eyes must be deceiving you. A sudden wave of affection comes crashing over you as you look at this boy, this boy that's been looking after you whenever you needed him over these few weeks, who never fails to smile and tell you he loves you. Just thinking about this makes you feel extremely guilty over how much he's done for you and how he does it so selflessly. Looking back up at the boy in your kitchen who seems to be extremely focused on getting that dish clean, however losing all focus when you whisper his name and bury your face into his sweatshirt. He wraps his arms around your torso and rests his chin atop your head asking how you slept. You answer his question and nestle your face deeper into his stomach.

So here you are standing in the middle of your kitchen hugging each other silently, that was until you killed the mood with your comment; “Ya know Jaehyun, in the whole time we've been together I have never once, NOT ONCE seen you in the kitchen.” You state pulling away from his embrace as he starts to laugh. “That's where your wrong babe, I'm in the kitchen all the time.” He smiles. “Eating my food doesn't count Jeff.”

The rest of the day went pretty smoothly for you, that was until Jaehyun had stated that he was fed up with you complaining about how dehydrated you were after he'd repeatedly be getting you a drink and had threatened to call the doctors. “You wouldn't dare!” “Just you watch babe.” He replied waving his phone in front of your face as you frowned telling him you were sorry and won’t complain anymore. Jaehyun laughed in triumph telling you that you'd be going to the doctors anyway. At that, you whipped your head around to look at your boyfriend sitting next to you on the couch, “I won’t.” You said, your tone indicating it was the end of the discussion. (For today that was) The thing is, Jaehyun knew you didn't want to go to the doctors, however, Jaehyun also knew you had to go to the doctors.

“I'll be right there with you..” “No.” “Ill hold your hand..” Ew, Germs.” “I’ll let you play with my hair..” “No one wants to touch your locks of grease, Jaehyun.” “Come on baby, you gotta go,” Jaehyun stated with so much sincerity it scared you. You sighed in defeat. “You’ll stay there with me?” Jaehyun grabbed your face with both his hands and leaned your foreheads together whispering a soft ‘always’ before kissing you softly with the utmost affection.

So here you were in the waiting room of the doctors stressing yourself out just by the thought. You'd always hated doctors, finding them more time consuming than anything. After what felt like 5 hours of waiting your name was called, reaching out for Jaehyun’s hand as the doctor led you into his room.

“That visit didn't tell me shit Jae,” you state with the most bored look on your face you could muster. “Yeah, your right.” He laughs “At least you've got some proper medication now.” “I'm pretty sure its just home brand paracetamol though.” You look up at him as he disagrees with you because ‘It cost me more than 90 cents’.

It's been two weeks since the doctors visit, two weeks since you'd had one of these headaches, two weeks that was, until yesterday. So here you are currently suffering in bed with tears running down your cheeks as you're in the most pain you have been in for quite awhile. You'd been taking the medication as directed for the first week until you decided it was probably useless and gave up. You've been lying there for around twenty minutes trying desperately to fall asleep but with no avail. By now you're convinced this is how you're going to leave the earth. This theory is followed up when and ANGEL comes barging into your room phone in hand, frown on face.

“I’M CALLING YOUR MOTHER!” It yells sitting on the edge of your bed. It's at this moment you realize it's not an angel. It's Jaehyun. “Please don't yell.” You say quietly as you try to sit up to face him. He then notices the tear stains on your cheeks and softens his voice repeating his statement again. “I’d really much rather you didn’t.” You reply not really in the mood to find out what your mother has to say about this.

You must have zoned out for a second because as you look up to Jaehyun again you see that he is no longer on the edge of your bed much rather he is walking out the door with his phone to his ear yapping away to your mother. You sigh and lay down again hoping to get to sleep at least once today. But no, that dream is swiftly swept away when Jaehyun walks in once again and you sit up once again. Jaehyun then walks over and sits on your lap with an unreadable expression. “What the hell are you doing.” You whisper slowly losing all feeling in your legs. Jaehyun doesn't respond though instead looks you straight in the eye and whispers back ‘Its hereditary’.

WOoaahh how was that?? did you like it? id really really love some feed back on this!!! Thanks so much for reading pls stay tuned for pt.2!! 

Requests for texts and saying hello :(  are open :) Ask box 

xx love you guys 

[camdallasfanfics]

What now? - Chapter 14

Cameron Dallas fanfic - Sequel to I’m not that kind of girl

Word count: 1′902

Previous Chapter

Valentine’s Day

Cam: wish you were here :( Y/N: don’t be a pus. you’ll see me tomorrow Cam: ouch. if this is what love feels like than I’ll gladly pass Y/N: stfu and go meet your precious little fans Cam: yes madame. Y/N: I hate you Cam: same

I just woke up. I slept in because first off it’s Sunday and secondly it’s Valentine’s day and because I love myself I treated myself to a few extra hours of sleep. I put down my phone and closed my eyes again when I heard it ring again. Note to self: if you want to sleep put your phone on silent.

I picked up the phone expecting some nonsense from Cameron but instead I got a text from Danny.

Danny: Happy valentine’s day xo wanna hang out today?

I thought about it. Cameron and I are not official. He can’t be mad about me hanging out with a friend, right? So I texted him back with no second thoughts.

Y/N: sure. come to my place. bring food or I won’t allow entrance into my beloved home. Danny: yep sure. I’ll get something on the way. Y/N: you’re an angel :D

It didn’t take long until the door bell rang. So I got up and walked over to the door opened it and saw Danny standing there with a bag of McDonalds. He knows me too well, doesn’t he? I immediately grabbed the bag. „Thank you very much.“ I said while walking towards the kitchen.

„Nice flowers.“ I heard Danny say when he closed the door. I turned to see him pointing to the bouquet Cameron got me. „Oh thanks.“ I said turning around again focusing on the fries I just got out. „I assume you didn’t by them for yourself.“ He chuckled as he sat down at the kitchen island. I shrugged. „Maybe I treated myself for Valentine’s day.“ I glared at him.

He brought out a laugh. „Sure.“ He nodded. I just put a fry in my mouth when he spoke up again. „So who are they really from?“ I felt his stare on me. „Jealous much?“ I teased him getting the rest of the food out of the bag. „No. Curiosity only, my dear.“ He said grabbing a burger.

„They’re from Cameron.“ I wiggled my eyebrows. „So you are talking again?“ He took a bite of his burger. „Guess so.“ I shrugged. „I don’t think he would like to know that you are spending today with your fuck buddy or  wait…am I the former fuck buddy?“ He chuckled. „Danny, don’t be overdramatic. But yeah I’m sorry, you have been resigned from your position as fuck buddy.“

He sighed. „Damn. I thought I’d get some for once on Valentine’s Day.“ I laughed a little as did he. „Sorry to disappoint you Danny.“ I patted his back. „Maybe next time.“ I joked around and we laughed for a while.

The rest of the day we were laying around watching movie, stuffing ourselves with junk in celebration of the day of love. How much I hate this day. We were just about to start watching High School Musical 3, I know cinematic masterpiece, when my phone started ringing. I quickly picked it up and saw Cameron’s ID.

„Hello?“ I stood up walking to my bedroom. Danny gave me a questioning look. „Hey, what are you doing right now?“ He asked and I could hear laughter in the background. „I was just about to watch an other movie.“ I sat down on the bed. „An other?“ he chuckled. „Yap. High School Musical 3 to be exact.“ I heard him laugh a little. „Good choice.“ I nodded knowing that he can’t see me but hey, reflexes.

„So how was your magcon thingy.“ The door to my bedroom opened and in came Danny. He leaned against the door frame waiting for me. „Ah you know, bunch of girls, taking pictures all day. So about tomorrow.“ He started and a small smirk creeped on my face. „What about tomorrow?“ „I can’t make it.“ He said straight up. „Oh.“ I didn’t think I would be this heart broken by what he said but for some reason I was. „It’s- uhh - It’s fine.“ I heard him sigh.

„No. It’s not and I’m really sorry about it but-“ „But you have something important to do. It’s fine.“ I sighed. „Look Cameron I gotta go, alright?“ I stood up and Danny looked concerned. „No listen Y/N. I’m gonna make it up to you. But there is this emergency meeting…“ His voice trailed off. „I got it. Really. It’s fine.“ I sighed. „I’m sorry.“ He said slowly and it sound like he meant it.

„I gotta go Cameron. High school musical is waiting.“ I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. „Before you hang up. Just tell me if you are mad because if you are than-“ I interrupted him immediately. „I’m not mad and if I were than there would be no than. Now go relax and I guess go to that meeting tomorrow.“ After that he said goodnight and hung up.

„Everything okay?“ Danny asked stepping closer. I sighed. „Cameron can’t make it tomorrow.“ I walked past him out of the bedroom to the couch. „What? Why?“ I plopped down on the couch wrapping myself into the blanket that was there. „He has some emergency meeting.“ I shrugged. „What the hell? Are you okay? Aren’t you mad?“ He sat down next to me. „I’m fine, alright? I’m not mad. Let’s just watch High School Musical like the adults we are.“

After the movie Danny decided it was best for him to go home. I agreed. I simply wanted to go to bed and do nothing all day tomorrow. I got into bed and it was not even that late. I grabbed my phone and saw that Cameron had texted me again.

Cam: I’m so so sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I swear! PINKY PROMISE Y/N: I said it’s fine! alright? stop apologizing!! It’s only making me mad Cam: okaaayy what are you doing right now? Y/N: laying in bed. may or may not be naked :)
 Cam: don’t you dare say you’re not alone Y/N: I wish i was a good liar… Cam: don’t test me Y/N: where are you anyways? Cam: don’t know.

I sighed ignoring his last text. If he wanted to be that way than there he has his way. I put my phone down and turned the light on my night stand off. I just closed my eyes when my phone started ringing. I groaned. „Hello?“ I mumbled into the phone. „You better be naked when I get up there.“ Cameron? „What are you even talking about?“ I just laid there in bed. „I mean what I said.“ I could even hear his stupid grin on his stupid face. „Cameron. I’m tired. Stop messing with me.“

He chuckled. That’s when I heard a knock on the door. „Wait. I gotta open the door.“ I sighed getting up. „Oh who could that be around this time of the day?“ I rolled my eyes. I was nearly at the door when he said: „Did you do what I told you to do?“ I shook my head. „Cameron, no. I’m not answering my door naked for anyone.“ I sighed yet again as I opened the door. „Damn. I thought you would just for once listen to me.“ He hung up the phone and stepped in to embrace me in a tight hug.

„I hate you.“ I mumbled into the crock of his neck. His slightly picked me up and closed the door behind us. „You don’t and you know it.“ He chuckled. „No, I really hate you. What are you even doing here? What about your emergency meeting?“ I pulled away from him. My hands slowly sliding up and down his arms. „You are my emergency meeting.“ He winked. I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop smiling.

„So you got me all pissed off for nothing?“ I raised my eyebrows at him. „So you were mad!“ He gasped pulling me even closer. „I said I was fine with it not that it didn’t upset me.“ I pouted. „You miss me. That’s cute.“ He leaned closer. „I only did because Jen was busy.“ He chuckled. „Sure. Whatever floats your boat.“ He finally leaned in to kiss me.

Even if he wasn’t away for a long time I did miss his touch and his soft lips against mine. I pulled away while he held back my bottom lip making me smile. „I missed you.“ I mumbled. He gave me a peck. „i know.“ He smirked. I shoved his shoulder. „I missed you too.“ I pecked his lips yet again. We just stood there staring at each other, sharing a few short kisses for a while.

„How about we get into that comfy bed of yours?“ Cameron finally whispered. I nodded not letting go of him. Before I could even let go he picked me up bridal style. I giggled while he carried me to my bed. „Here we go!“ he said throwing me on the bed. shortly after he was hovering over me.

„Why don’t you listen to me for once? That would have made everything easier.“ He mumbled as he leaned down to my neck and left short wet kisses all the way down to my collarbone. I naturally grabbed the back of his head as my legs wrapped around his waist. „Maybe I don’t want to listen to you?“ I mumbled pulling him up so I could kiss him. He smiled into the kiss.

„Of course. What else could I expect?“ He grinned as he slowly pulled my shirt up. We continued like that, going back and forth, slowly undressing each other until we were only in our underwear. He just pulled down my lacy thong as I pulled down his boxers. He quickly found the condoms in the night stand. And before I knew it we were at it.

I couldn’t stop thinking about how I could go two years without him and let him back in so easily. Without hesitation he was back in my life. I didn’t even mean for it to happen. Slowly my thoughts drifted to the pleasure. His touch. His skin against mine. He grunted and some moans escaped my mouth. Soon he reached his high and rode it out while I was just getting there.

The night ended with him spooning me, like he often did. I thought back to the night he left.

Flashback

His arms were tight around me and he was facing my back. „Please never let me go.“ I whispered feeling like all of this was a bad idea. He simply kissed the back of my shoulder softly. Slowly I drifted off to sleep.

Flashback over

And as I did back than I fell asleep tightly wrapped in his arms. Hoping that it would never end. That he would never leave. That I would get another chance with him. Hoping I could let him in for good. Hoping he was ready to settle. That we would grow old. All these feelings started to grow stronger with every second he was around me. Though I would never admit to it nor would it happen like I wanted it to.

Next Chapter

A/N: SOOO SORRY that it took this long for me to write a new chapter. I hope you enjoy it though! As always I appreciate all kind of opinions and criticism! Hope you have a nice day and love you guys a ton! :)

[concussed-to-pieces]

Lost

Fandom: WWE

Pairing: Seth Rollins/Female Reader

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: First ever try at Seth, for the Thirst Party Saturday! It's good to be back. Tagging @hardcorewwetrash, @tox-moxley (EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE OFF TO SEE THE HUSBANDS TODAY, YOU CHEEKY DEVIL YOU), @oraclegazes and @jazzytoosweet. Enjoy!

Seth knew he should keep a closer eye on Kevin. But the Yorkie always took his damn time in the morning and Seth may or may not have had an appointment to get to. It wasn’t like he couldn’t use the doggy door anyway, he was just a spoiled little pup and preferred having the big people open the big door for him.

Rollins had been home from his meeting for approximately thirty seconds before he realized that something was wrong. “Kevin? C’mere pup, where are you buddy?” he called, growing more concerned when there was no answering yip. Maybe he’s asleep on the bed or something. Kevin, spoiled as he was, wasn’t technically allowed on the bed. Unless he was invited. Seth had to have some rules, dammit.

Rollins tiptoed to the bedroom door and then threw it open, the triumphant, “Aha!” dying on his lips as the Yorkie failed to present himself. “Kev?” Now he was worried, running back to the kitchen and shaking the container he kept the dog’s kibble in. Seth opened the front door and whistled, rattling the kibble around. “Kevin! Treat!” he hollered.

Where the hell is he? Now the panic settled in, like a block of ice in the pit of Seth’s stomach. Did something happen to him? What if he got out? Oh my God, what if someone stole him? Seth gripped the doorframe, forcing himself to breathe in a regular manner. He couldn’t freak out. He had to stay calm and level-headed. Freaking out did no one any good. He would go up the street. Maybe someone had seen the small dog. If he had no luck, then he’d start calling the local shelters.

After every other fucking thing that had happened to him, he would be damned if he lost his dog too.

…

You had been hard at work since seven that morning, and a light rain started to fall as you finished cleaning the kennels and run area. It had been relatively calm, as calm as a dog shelter could be anyhow. Zeedayno, a Great Dane something-or-other, had been play-fighting with one of the smaller mutts earlier and ended up cutting one of his paw pads on the gravel in the run.

The large dog had limped to you, whimpering like he was mortally wounded. The dog he’d been wrestling with, Lou Cheech, had cowered behind Zeedayno’s legs while you patched him up, whining as you scolded them both for playing rough.

The phone rang while you were up to your armpits in kennel antiseptic, and you tried to keep an ear out to see if whoever it was left a message. It was tough to tell though, what with Lou baying and Zeedayno trying to coat your entire face with slobbery kisses. You didn't get to listen to the message until well after your lunch time, and even then it was ruined with poor reception. All you could make out was what sounded like the name 'Kevin' about six times. You assumed maybe the person had gotten the wrong number.

Right before your relief was scheduled to come in for the evening, an annoyed-looking old man walked through the front door. Gripped carelessly in his large hand was a tiny dog, filthy and wet. “Found this little shit under my truck. The tag was no fucking help, of course. Probably belongs to some spoiled brat rich kid.” he grunted, all but tossing the dog across the counter. “Your problem now. I've done my job.”

You flipped off the door after he left, your annoyance taking a backseat as you really looked at the small pile of fur in front of you. He was shaking, either from nerves or the combination of being wet and outdoors. He didn't look undernourished or anything like that, just terrified. “Hey little guy.” You said softly. The small dog (was it a Yorkie? Weren’t those expensive?) wagged its tail at the sound of your voice, giving a yip. “Still got some noise in you, huh?” You cautiously reached a hand out for it to sniff, not wanting any of those needle teeth embedded in your skin. “Let me see...” Wiping some of the grime off his tags, you squinted at the name on the metal. “K...Kevin?” The little dog yapped, licking your fingers. “So you were the one I got the call about. Let's get you home, pipsqueak.”

After you'd wrapped him in a towel you grabbed the cordless phone, scrolling back through the caller ID and hitting the first number. Tooka whined at you as you passed by his kennel, and you carefully shifted Kevin to your other shoulder so you could pet the normally-standoffish Chow-Lab mix.

“Hello? Is this about my dog? Because if not please get the fuck off the line in case somebody else calls.” The distressed male voice issued through the phone and you rolled your eyes. It wasn't like you weren't used to dealing with upset people, you worked in an animal shelter for fuck's sake.

“Can I get the name and description of the dog, please?” you asked coolly, scratching Tooka under his chin. “Your message didn't come through.”

There was a shaky inhale from the other end of the line. “His name is Kevin. He's...he's small, he's a little dog. A-a Yorkie dog. Yorkshire Terrier. Should have a black collar with a...circular, yellow pattern with an S and an R in the middle, looks kind of like the Anthrax logo. Th-the band, not the disease, obviously. Tag was gold, just his name on it. He's got pointy ears, tan coat, gray-black saddle, shit please tell me you found him, for fuck's sake...” The guy sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

“We just had somebody bring in a dog that matches your description, sir. The sooner you can make your way over here the better, so we can waive the check-in fee. If you wait overnight it will be twelve dollars to pick up your dog, plus seven for every additional day.” You quickly sucked in a breath before he could explode the way people normally did. You'd been calling people back for a while now. “I understand that it's a charge you're probably not prepared for or willing to pay. We can hold the dog for a maximum of seventy-two hours, if you need time to get the money together. I--”

“I would pay literally hundreds of dollars to get my dog back. Is he right there? C-Can you put me on speaker?” the man interrupted you, his voice wavering. “Just want to talk to him. You guys are like half an hour away. I want him to know I'm coming for him.”

Your heart squeezed in your chest and you bit your lip at the way he sounded. Concerned and determined. Normally people were in a blind panic and lashed out at you because of the fees. But dog food and upkeep cost money, and a lot of times those fees were what was keeping the lights on. “Yeah, one second.” You gave Tooka one last apologetic pat before pressing the speaker button on the phone. “Alright, you're up.”

“K-Kevvy buddy, can you hear me?” Kevin started squirming in your grip, yapping and wriggling wildly. “There's my tough guy! Daddy's coming to get you, okay? You be my little champ, be good for them there and I'll be on my way in a second. Don't be scared, buddy.” Kevin whined, licking the phone. You made a mental note to wipe down the whole handset with Lysol.

Tooka barked at the noise from the phone and you shushed him. “Sorry about that. Probably shouldn't have called from the kennel hallway. They get lonely though.” you explained, hoping that Tooka hadn't deafened him.

“All good. I'm just throwing on my coat now. I should be there soon.” You heard rustling. “I seriously can't thank you enough. I've been looking for him all day and I know I'm an absolute wreck. I was trying to stay calm but it just kind of kept building and building, I was in a total state. You've just been super kind and helpful, holy fuck. I'm on my way. I'll see you in an hour. Oh! My name is Seth Rollins. Probably should have put that on his tags. I will. Thank you again!” You couldn't help your startled laugh when he abruptly hung up after motor-mouthing at you for a solid minute.

“Well little guy, let's get you cleaned up. Can't have your dad come get you when you're all yucky, right?”

…

Freshly-dried and sporting a little yellow bow that you'd scrounged up in one of the desk drawers, Kevin waited patiently in your lap as you sorted through some paperwork. Your relief had called in sick for the night, so your to-do list (and shift) had gotten much, much longer. Once you got the day's check-in forms signed and filed, you'd need to make your nightly feed rounds, clean up any messes and give everyone one last run before you left for the evening.

You sighed, sitting back in the chair and closing your eyes momentarily. You were no stranger to pulling double shifts. This 'part-time' job was definitely accumulating the hours. The only day you didn't work was Sunday, and even then sometimes you were asked to come in. There just weren't enough hands or volunteers to properly care for and exercise the rotating roster of mutts. You'd been staring at the next form for God only knows how long, rubbing your tired eyes, when the door opening jerked your attention back up. Holy shit, puppy dad is a hunk!

Dark brown, blond-streaked hair tied back in a bun, worried brown eyes and a charmingly rugged scruff of facial hair met your gaze, and you couldn't help the appreciative way your eyes roved over the rest of his body. He had paused mid-stride when you looked up, almost like he was letting you look. He was well-built and taller than you by several inches, wearing a gray hoodie that was laden with more than a few strands of pet hair, and black skinny jeans that framed his thighs in a way that should have been criminal. You resisted the urge to fan yourself comically. This guy was obviously here for one thing and one thing only.

Kevin yipped excitedly, struggling to free himself from your grasp as you stood and placed the dog on the counter.

“Kevin!” The young man (Mr. Rollins? Seth?) exclaimed, sweeping the dog off the counter and into his arms. “You're a bad dog, scaring the shit out of me like that! You little...” Seth trailed off as Kevin whimpered and licked his chin furiously. “Fuck, I can't stay mad at you. Dammit.” He buried his face in the dog's fur, hugging him tightly. “I thought something happened to you, buddy. Thought somebody dog-napped you.”

“He came in around four this afternoon.” You offered quietly, feeling almost like you were intruding. “An older man said that he found him under his truck.”

“You're a fucking troublemaker, know that?” Seth grumbled to the dog, who just snuffled at his hoodie. “Okay, what paperwork do I need to fill out, how much do I have to pay?”

You shook your head. “You came before I had to check him in for the night. You're all set to go if you'd like, sir.”

Seth's shoulders relaxed and he reached over the counter, taking your hand. “Seriously, thank you so much. You're just...God, thank you. Can I make like, a donation or something at least? Who do I make the check out to, let me...” He set Kevin down on the ground and rummaged through his hoodie pockets, tugging out a small book full of Yorkie-patterned checks (to your silent amusement).

“Oh! Normally we ask for checks to be mailed in to the home office, but I can take it here and keep it in the safe overnight until the morning shift comes in.” You couldn't help but feel flustered as he glanced at you, and you wondered how much of a mess you were in at the moment. You, the self-proclaimed loner, head over heels for some handsome stranger and his little dog. “Th-thank you so much, Mr. Rollins.”

“Just Seth, yikes, Mr. Rollins makes me sound so old. I love dogs man, I love that you guys take these animals in and try to find homes for them. It's really great stuff, you know?” Seth rambled as he filled out the check, tearing it out carefully and sliding it across the counter once he was done. “How tough is it to work here, do you like it?”

“I do! It's challenging sometimes, but I love working with the pups. Plus, plenty of exercise.” You ignored the check for the moment as he leaned on the counter. “I'm not so great with people, unfortunately, but the mutts are very forgiving.”

Seth nodded. “I hear that, man. It's just me and Kevin now, so it's a little lonely sometimes. I um...yeah, dogs. They're great. Can I see who you've got in? Or are visiting hours up?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

You shook your head. “I still have to feed everyone for the night, wash out kennels, that kind of stuff. But if you’d like to come back tomorrow, you can see everyone? And we’re always looking for more volunteers as far as walking them. Letting them play in the run is okay, but it only goes so far.” You shrugged. The smaller dogs were easy to walk, usually you were able to manage with two to four of them on a belt leash. But the big ones like Zeedayno could be a handful.

“You guys need walkers? Dude sign me the fuck up, I’ve got two legs and everything.” Seth seemed very interested, leaning further on the counter and edging closer to you. “I’m usually free on Wednesdays, after ten in the morning. Gotta’ get my workout in.” He winced. “Sorry, that sounded like a totally obvious ‘I definitely go to the gym’ kind of thing. I promise I’m not like that.”

“All anyone has to do is look at you and they’ll know you go to the gym.” A fluorescent blush spread across your face and you wished more than anything that you’d kept your mouth shut as Seth gave you an incredulous look.

His laugh caught you off guard, the noise sounding a little rusty. “You’ve got me all figured out, I guess. I definitely have an addiction. But hey, if it gives a cutie like you something to look at, who am I to slack off?” Seth winked at you and you were pretty sure you were about to faint. “So sign me up for Wednesday, you guys already have my number.” His face softened, that flirty edge gone as quickly as it had arrived. “And thank you again, for taking care of my pup.”

You fell back into your chair after the door closed behind him, mind in a blur. He had made the check out for four hundred dollars. Puppy dad is not only a hunk, he’s also apparently a sweetheart. I wonder if he’ll actually show up for Wednesday? You mused, finally standing back up and heading to do your tasks for the evening. You didn’t have time to moon over ‘tall dark and handsome’, the dogs needed their dinner.

…

Wednesday couldn’t come soon enough for you, and you were equal parts delighted and horrified when Seth came strolling through the door around eleven, looking fresh as a damn daisy. “Heya’ cutie! Who needs a walk today?” he asked, leaning on the counter and looking over your paperwork.

You had been more than frazzled all morning. The copy machine had gone down for almost two hours and even though you’d finally fixed it, your fingers and shirt were covered in blotches of ink. You were sure there was some on your face as well; your cheek wouldn’t stop itching. Not to mention Marshond sounded suspiciously like he may have a case of kennel cough.

“I um…let me just…” You fumbled with the papers you’d spread out on the counter in an effort to sort them, trying to find the walker sign-in form. “We have a hiking trail adjacent to the property. If you sign here, I’ll get you squared away.”

“Fuckin’ paperwork, am I right?” Seth took the pen you offered and scribbled his signature on the sheet. “Alright, let me play with the puppies dammit. I’ve done my time.”

You bit back a smile at his enthusiasm. “What size dog are you comfortable walking?”

Of course he picked Zeedayno. He took one look at the massive beast and simply said, “yes.”

“He’s kind of a handful.” You warned as you had the dog step into his harness. Zeedayno didn’t mean to be difficult, but he definitely had some attention issues. The dog sniffed Seth fingers curiously for a minute, before happily accepting ear scratches from the man.

“He seems pretty easygoing. You’re not gonna’ give me any trouble, are you big guy?” Seth asked, laughing when the dog gave a loud woof! in reply. “Do you get to come too, cutie? It’s a great day for a walk.”

The way he kept calling you ‘cutie’ made your stomach twist into knots. You were pretty sure he was just being kind, but it was nice to hear that someone thought you were cute. And he wanted you to come along on the walk! You debated mentally for a moment while Seth stood there holding the leash. There were two other part timers on duty at the moment, and you figured if something came up all they needed to do was call you…

You smiled up at Seth. “Yeah, I think I can join you.”

…

Tooka trotted at your side, black tongue lolling out happily as he took in the familiar sights and smells. On the other side of you Lou Cheech tried to keep up, bouncing forward a few steps and then lagging behind as he stopped to sniff the surroundings.

Seth was ahead of you a ways, Zeedayno obviously thrilled that he got to take a walk and capering around the young man’s legs like he was a puppy. Seth seemed to have his work cut out for him just trying to keep from getting tripped up by well over a hundred pounds of excited mutt. “I love him, he’s my favorite!” he called back to you, making you laugh.

“You won’t be saying that if he spots a squirrel or something, trust me.” You gestured downwards at your knees. “I’ve still got the scrapes.”

Seth opened his mouth to reply and abruptly lurched forward a few steps as the large dog tried to lunge into the underbrush. The strength of his grip impressed you a fair amount because normally if Zeedayno decided he was going after something, there wasn’t much anyone could do about it. Seth however, just kind of planted himself and the dog stopped dead. “Nope, sorry big guy.” He grunted firmly, reeling the dog back in to sit beside him on the trail. Zeedayno sat obediently, his tail whipping back and forth on the ground as you caught up.

“There’s a field up ahead where they can run around a little bit, if you’re up for it.” You offered, “I know you mentioned you work out in the mornings, so I wouldn’t want to fuck up your regiment with too much motion too soon.”

“I do crossfit, cutie. It’s designed to kick my ass. Do your worst.”

…

After you returned from your walk Seth seemed to have something on his mind, leaning on the counter again once he’d signed out for the day.

“So…” he began, making you look up from your stack of paperwork. “I’m gonna’ be kind of forward here, but do you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend?” He paused, raising an eyebrow. “Both?”

Your heart pounded against your ribs and you shook your head. “I…no, I don’t.” Suddenly shy, you focused on shuffling the papers around in front of you.

“Hey.” Seth said softly. “I was just curious. Wanted to know if you’d like to hang out sometime outside of work. I had a lot of fun today.”

“I did too.” You admitted. “I think I’d like that. If you’re alright with it.” You were painfully aware of the fact that he hadn’t explicitly said ‘date’, but you had only met him a few days ago. Thankfully one of you was still keeping a level head.

His smile lit up his whole face and you wondered momentarily whether he felt the same way you did. “I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't! Awesome. When do you have some free time?”

“Well, I should be free in the evenings, and I have Sundays off. In theory.” You couldn't keep the rueful tone out of your voice. “This was supposed to be a part-time job.”

“Hey, it's totally cool if you're busy and stuff. I definitely understand a full schedule. Just shoot me a text. You've already got my number.” Seth said easily, pushing up off the counter and zipping his hoodie before waving goodbye and heading on his way.

You debated texting him over the remainder of your shift, feeling like a kid with their first crush. Do I, don't I? You finally steeled yourself, sitting in your car outside your apartment. You weren't some goofy teenager, damn it all. You were an adult, he was clearly, deliciously an adult, and you were interested. Easy. Simple. Straightforward.

-Hi Seth, it's me.

-Cutie!

You smiled unintentionally, then felt stupid for doing so. He hadn't wasted any time replying, almost like he'd been waiting for you. You shook your head at yourself, but you appreciated that he wasn't playing games just yet.

A minute later your phone lit up again, this time it was a picture message of Seth with Kevin peeking up into the corner of the shot. -Kevin says hi too.

-Has he been behaving?

Seth sent another picture, obviously from earlier in the day. A pile of shredded Kleenex lay on the ground, Kevin happily sprawled on his back in the middle of it. -Nope.

You snorted, unlocking your apartment door. -What a brat.

-Yeah, but he's MY brat.

You found out over the next few days that Seth wasn't much for actually texting, preferring to send short clips or pictures with minimalist captions. “Easier to record a video. If I send a text I have to stop moving so I can type. Can't do both, I walk into walls and shit.” he explained in one such video, Kevin poking his head up to yip at the camera. “How's work today, cutie? Anybody get adopted?”

It was such a simple thing, but you quickly found yourself cherishing his little messages. There was nothing like sitting down to eat your lunch and having a bunch of updates on Kevin's antics or the deadly crossfit training to watch. You were red-faced more than once after seeing a few of the crossfit videos, marveling at his dedication (and his legs in those workout leggings!).

-Why do you like exercising so much? I know most normal people put it off for FOREVER, but you seem to actually enjoy it.

You bit your lip, wondering if the message would come across as snide or like you were annoyed. Your eyes fell to the camera button on your phone and your finger hovered over it momentarily. You were freshly showered, sitting on your couch with a pint of ice cream. So you had definitely looked worse. But you were also in a pair of baggy sweatpants and a comfortable, hole-ridden shirt. Welp, when in Rome...

…

Seth was a genuinely fun person to be around. Always on the move from one thing to the next, whether it was hiking or walking the dogs or letting you kick his ass when you were invited over for rounds of Call of Duty on Sundays. His house seemed overlarge and empty considering the fact that it was just him and Kevin, but he'd hinted at not being quite so...solitary at one point. You wondered what had happened, hearing the hurt in his voice sometimes when he talked about how, 'it's just me and Kevin now'.

One night though, he had slipped up and said, 'it's just me and Kevin and you now'. He'd gone bright red afterwards, quickly changing the subject. You didn't want to hope that maybe, just maybe, he was interested in having you around as more than a friend or someone to spout cheesy pick up lines at.

Seth was attractive without even trying. Covered in sweat and panting in one of his many post-workout videos or sprawled out on the couch beside you with a controller in his hands and Kevin on his lap, it didn't matter because you still felt your heartbeat quicken. You were in such trouble here.

Clearly something had to give.

The first time Seth sent you something that could be legitimately described as not safe for work you were, mercifully, not at work. The day had been long and difficult, but Zeedayno had finally found what would hopefully be his forever home. Plus Marshond had stopped coughing! You'd just curled up in your bed, the blankets a warm nest around you. Despite it being early spring, there was still a chill in the air at night.

Your phone lit up as you were dozing and you fumbled to unlock it, rubbing your eyes and tapping the message icon.

Oh! You sat bolt upright, hastily hunching over your phone like someone might be around to see. The video panned down Seth's chest, tantalizingly shirtless, then down, down, to the V of his hips. You swallowed hard as the camera jerked back to his face and he winked. “Heard you had a tough day. Figured you could use a little pick-me-up. You sounded pretty wiped out.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Two can play this game, Rollins.” you said aloud, laying down and propping your phone against your ear.

Seth picked up almost immediately, and if you were being honest he sounded a little scared as he blurted, “Shit, I didn't piss you off did I?”

“No, why would you piss me off? That was a nice treat. Even if you're a fucking tease.” Your voice unintentionally dropped to a purr and you heard him swallow loudly.

“O-oh. I figured you were calling because I pushed too far. I uh...you liked it?”

“Enough to wish you were here right now, doing it in person.” you admitted softly. The low groan that issued from the phone set your body alight. You wanted him, and somehow, miraculously, he apparently wanted you too.

“Shit, cutie, if I'd known that...” Seth trailed off and you heard rustling. “Hang on, I'm gonna' send you something. Gotta' hang up.”

The picture arrived after a second. He was laying down with his jeans still on, cock visibly straining against the tight denim. -Want me to come over and fix that?

You bit your lip. -Yes.

-Omw.

You felt a flash of excitement, sitting there stunned at his quick reply. You'd never done something like this before, and the anticipation was incredible. What would he do once he arrived? Would he kiss you? Or go straight to what you both craved? Would he be gentle? Rough? Your mind conjured up endless combinations that had you feeling like your insides had liquefied.

You suddenly remembered you were in your pajamas and you grimaced. A baggy shirt patterned with little kitties and puppies was not exactly...sexy material. You quickly moved to rummage in your dresser, stripping off the shirt and digging through your half-folded clothes in an effort to find something that earned you that 'cutie' moniker.

“Well hello to you too,” said Seth's voice from the doorway once you'd all but given up, clothes all over the place. You squeaked in surprise as his arm wrapped around your stomach, pulling you backwards to settle into the apex of his hips. His breath warmed your bare shoulder before he kissed the skin there. “I didn't expect you to be quite so ready.” he murmured.

“I was trying to find something to wear.” you replied weakly. “Wanted to look nice for you.”

Seth groaned again, the noise even more enticing now. “This is the nicest look I can think of at the moment. But I bet you'd fucking murder in lace, cutie.” His hands skimmed down your sides. “You want me to fuck that hard day right out of you, yeah?”

You nodded, feeling almost like you were in a daze. He hadn't even kissed you for real and yet here he was, offering to fuck you senseless. A smirk spread across his face and he gave you a gentle push towards your bed. “On your back. I'll take care of you.”

Heat flushed you as you did what he said, your whole body put on sensual display. You briefly debated shielding yourself from him, but the notion was gone almost before it arrived. You wanted this. You wanted him.

Seth shook his head, moving to slink over you. Gentle kisses brushed your stomach, quickly trailing up between your breasts, and you squirmed beneath his ministrations. “You're just so damn gorgeous.” he finally said. “I'm very lucky. Very, very lucky. Suppose I should thank Kevin for being such a little shit. Because without him I never would have met you.” His lips teased over your collarbone while his fingers slid into the waistband of your panties, cupping your mound and then slipping lower to stroke over your slick folds. “Mmm, fuck. Hi cutie.” He growled, “waiting for little ol' me?”

“Yes, yes, please...” You were almost positive that he was deliberately not kissing you on the mouth, but you couldn't be bothered to care as he jerked your underwear down your legs and then all but shredded his button-up shirt in an effort to get out of it quickly. And even though his skinny jeans left incredibly little to the imagination, it was still enthralling to watch him stroke his cock through them.

“You ready?” Seth asked, and you arched your back in reply. “God, what a sweetheart you are. You've been so damn patient with me. I'm going to take real good care of you.” He promised, unzipping his jeans and pushing them down with a little difficulty. He fisted his cock, making you whimper as he pumped himself in an almost lazy manner with one hand while the other sought after his wallet.

“Patient?” you asked, the word laden with confusion. Seth smiled while he rolled the condom on and you almost bit through your lip. Everything he did seemed like it was designed to turn you on, right down to the grin that made him look years younger.

“Yeah. I've been...it was rough. I'm kind of quick to trust and some shit happened a while back that really didn't need to. Then I lost Kevin.” Seth paused, propping himself up over you and kissing your forehead. “And found you. Hell of a day.”

“Hell of a day.” you echoed, your thoughts a tangled mess of emotion. He trusted you, even after being hurt. He thought that finding you was a good thing. “Seth, I...”

“Shh, I know. I'm fucking mushy sometimes. Don't mind me, okay? I'm going to take care of you.” he said softly, the head of his cock pushing into you. You barely kept from scratching his shoulders as he slowly surged forward, your mouth popping open of its own accord when he was fully settled in you. Seth hung his head, groaning loud. “Jesus.”

You could feel your slick coating him, the liquid slowly trickling out around his cock and down your thighs. You wanted to be embarrassed, but the way Seth's eyes looked when he finally opened them again stopped the idea dead. He seemed barely-restrained, like you were the thing he'd been waiting for. Maybe you were. His cock stretched you almost to your limit and you couldn't help the way your voice cracked when you asked, “Are you okay?”

“Oh for fuck's sake,” he said through gritted teeth. “You can't do this and expect me to not fucking react, okay? You, just...always with this. Never pushing. Never demanding. Making me feel good by being around. Laughing at my stupid pick up lines. You're ridiculous. I'm going to fuck your brains out.”

A breathless giggle was punched out of you as he ground his hips up to yours, his exasperated words soothing you immensely. You tentatively stroked your hands down his back, more than overwhelmed by all the skin that was abruptly yours to touch and taste. Seth practically begged for it, grinning down at you as you pulled his hair tie out and let his locks fall to brush his shoulders. “All yours, cutie.” You grew bolder then, turning your face to press a kiss to his tattooed wrist.

Forever. That was a dangerous word, you knew all too well. But here and now, with the young man who you'd come to know as far more than 'tall, dark, and handsome', you felt like this might be something you could get used to. Seth's motions slowed when you kissed his wrist and he cupped your cheek in a manner that was achingly tender, his thumb rubbing over your lips. “I'd really like to date you.” he managed to say as you arched your back. “Think you'd be interested?”

You nodded furiously, not trusting your voice while he bottomed out in you over and over. Seth threw his head back, hips rolling against your own in a frenzied coupling. You slipped a hand down to tease your clit, crying out as Seth snarled and lowered his head to lick and nip at your breasts. His teeth pulled at the sensitive skin, sending jolts of fire through your whole body. You raked your free hand down his back, loving how he shuddered violently and moaned. “I'm going to come.” You gasped, the need suddenly red-hot and liquid in your abdomen. “P-please, Seth--”

“What, you need permission?” Seth panted, that smirk firmly back in place as he pulled back. “You need a little extra to get you over, cutie? Maybe...maybe something like a kiss?” You whimpered loudly and his smirk slipped a few notches, softening. “Okay. Since you asked so nice.” His lips pressed to yours and you were shattered to your core, whole body trembling beneath his while he kissed you and you fell apart. Seth couldn't seem to help the quiet “oh” that escaped him and you felt him throb inside you.

“Wow.” You finally sighed against his lips when you could speak again, your legs quivering with aftershocks. Seth humped his hips sharply up, assaulting your now oversensitive spot and making you keen. Fingers roughly stroked your clit and he kissed you hard, seeming to want more out of you.

“Come with me this time, cutie.” He pleaded, the words slurred by his rapid, hungry kisses. “Please, please, I need you to-”

His body tensed, cock all but slamming into you and rocking you up the bed. You cried out as you came again and he groaned loudly, hips crushing to your own with enough force to bruise as he came. You were dimly aware of Seth's body shaking and his voice hoarsely murmuring something that sounded like thank you, thank you, his hand gently stroking your hair.

When you finally came back to some semblance of consciousness, Seth was curled up around you with your face tucked into his chest. His skin was hot against your own and you hummed, snuggling in a little closer. “Are you alright?” he asked softly.

“Mmm. Rethinking my loner lifestyle. You mentioned something about dating?” you said with a yawn, closing your eyes again while Seth's quiet chuckle washed over you.

“Yeah. Crazy idea, right? We can talk more in the morning.” His words were a low, soothing rumble in his chest as you drifted back into a comfortable dream of warm, soft blankets and blond-streaked hair. “Sleep good, cutie...”

[life-of-lizbet]

sorry I suck at blogging

When your first two days back at work are a 10-6 followed by a 10-7, you really don’t have much time (or energy or whatever) to blog. So here’s a brief recap/rehash of my first two days back:

Day 1- I worked with two “new” kids. They’re both high schoolers and just started this summer. I hadn’t yet worked with them, so they’re “new” to me by default. Let’s call the bagger John. What a freaking nutcase he is. Looks like one of those frat boys, for gods sake. Like, the hair that’s short on the sides but more on top- just trust me when I say he looks like a frat boy. He comes into work yesterday at 3pm wearing a bro-tank. Looks like he just spent a day at the beach playing beach volleyball, according to my mom. So he calls his parents and asks them to bring in a regular t-shirt. (New since last summer- a ridiculous amount of rules and policies, including no tanks or camis, must wear closed toed shoes (I still can’t believe they had to put that in writing), no food OR drink at the registers, including a closed water bottle. I’m still not going to get over that last one.)

He acts like a moron. At one point during my shift, he questioned the fact that I will be a senior in college. Look, I get it, I don’t look like I should be a senior in college, but seriously? Dude, what the hell. He then returns back to what he was doing, yapping with one of the other cashiers about who knows what. Then he asks me, a short time later, how old I am. He actually could not believe me when I said I was 21. Like, could NOT believe me, whatsoever. He proceeds to tell me that I look like I’m 16. While I was putting away a hand basket I said (rather snarkily, but I’m unsure whether he got the snark because he as too dumbfounded by the fact that I’m actually 21), “I’ve only had my driver’s license for five years now.” Moron.

He couldn’t get enough of it for whatever reason. SMH. So then he asks me something along the lines of going to a bar and getting ID’d. I haven’t actually been to a bar yet, but I have ordered drinks at restaurants and bought booze and alcohol from stores, and people have questioned my age when they asked for my ID. But c’mon dude, cut it OUT! Ay caramba. 

Day 2-

I mentioned I worked with two “new” kids on my first day back. Well, today I worked with two additional “new” kids, one of whom I overheard complain more than a few times about having to work two 10-7 shifts next week. Well, I’m thinking, suck it up buttercup, I have one day off next week and I’m working 47.5 hours, so just shut it. (I’m not complaining about the fact that I’ll be getting overtime pay, I’m just saying it would be nice to have more than one day off next week. On the bright side, I have Senior Tuesday off!)

Said-complainer arrives to work for her 1pm shift to take over for someone who was leaving at 1pm. So, naturally, if you are coming in to work when someone is leaving, you’re probably going to end up on their register. It must have taken her a few minutes to realize which register she was supposed to be ringing on. For the record, there are three regular cash registers, and two express registers. One of the express registers always has a manager’s drawer, for when they need to ring. So, in theory, there are four possible registers for her to ring on. The fact that there is only one open register suggests that she will be on that one, but what the hell do I know. I’ve only been working there for five summers now. YIKES.

I had three older customers ask me in my first three hours at work today for their senior discount. As mentioned above, Senior Tuesday is the day of the week where older folks (aged 55 and older) receive 10% off their total bill, excluding tobacco and alcohol and lottery tickets. The first lady was serious: “You took off my discount, right?” Um, today is Thursday, Tuesday is when you can get your discount. “Oh, haha, I didn’t realize that.”

Next customer; this one is a local and a nutcase. His wife is an alcoholic and buys small boxed wine, sticks it in her pocketbook as soon as the cashier has scanned it, and never wants her receipt. She’s in nearly every day to buy a small box of wine. But I digress, this dude I am actually talking about is whacked. He always creates a scene when he comes into the store. He comes through my line, starts yapping to the cashier on another register, finally decides to come through my register. Asks for his “Old geezer discount,” I told him it’s the wrong day, and that he’s actually not the first person to ask for that today, to which he said “REALLY?” Um, yeah, I wasn’t kidding, dude. (Seen below- small boxed wine the alcoholic woman purchases almost daily.)

Third customer to ask for a non-existent senior discount- my 7th grade social studies teacher, who has since retired. He’s got a full head of WHITE hair- not gray, but white as all get-out. He asks, “Did you get my discount?” I said, “Today’s Thursday, discount is on Tuesday,” or something like that. He said “Oh, gosh, I didn’t realize that!” Whenever he comes in on Tuesdays, my mom says to him, “Must be Tuesday!” because he’s in there shopping and getting his discount. (Her other favorite one-liner directed at him is “Must be Sunday!” when he comes in to shop after his church service with his name tag from church still on.)

Welcome to Wolfeboro, folks. I’m working 10-7 tomorrow (Friday) and 1-9 on Saturday, so I’ll have plenty of work shenanigans for y’all. I don’t work with the moron whom I’m calling John until Saturday, so god help me when Saturday rolls around. 

Above- me, probably, either after tomorrow’s work shift, or definitely after Saturday's work shift. God help me.