#idk how to explain this man. i really dont. hes like me if you removed the overthinking and my filter

[bangcakes]

.

[newtkive]

pixels [ newt x reader - modern text au ]

ch. 2 - drama queen core

summary: minho's drama finally catches up with him, but newt becomes a hero.

warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

__

THE GLADE

[ 12:08 PM ]

y/n: gm pookies

newt: it’s the afternoon.

y/n: yeah well

ur east coast

newt: so are you y/n

y/n: FINE BAD MORNING THEN ARE U HAPPY?

minho: drama queen is awake

newt: you’re the drama queen min let’s be fr

minho: u want me to die be honest

newt: see .

tommy: hey guys :3 been waiting for you all

y/n: awwww tommy <3 gm

tommy: morning sweetums

minho: ew stop

newt: how did you sleep?

tommy: good! used my new heated pillow

newt: not you

minho: not you

tommy: wtf

WHO THEN?? THERES LIKE 7 OTHER PPL IN HERE

minho: he means y/n

and there’s 4 other people not including newt and y/n dumbass

y/n: oh

why just me????

newt: cuz you stayed up til 6 am

y/n: ..

how do you know that

newt: i saw you were active on discord

gally: doesn’t that mean you were awake too then

newt: ok and?

minho: thats crazy newt

newt: no it isn’t

i just casually saw it

y/n: hehe

im ok i need to sleep more. sims 4 was really consuming me

why were you awake??

newt: up for work

minho: you get on discord before work?

chronically online..

newt: can you choke and pass out and hit your head please

minho: THE WAY U WANT ME DEAD IS INSANE

y/n: he’s gotta check on his discord hoes before hitting the grind

newt: there are no discord hoes

unless you count thomas

and i don’t

tommy: well why not

newt: because you disgust me

tommy: love u too :3<3

minho: y’all about to kiss aren’t you

newt: never say that shit again im outside your door with a b*mb

minho: why censor it

just blow me up it’s my grandmas house anyway. u want to jump her that bad????

gally: blow that bitch up i say

y/n: HELLO???!,!!

gally: minho not grandma

she loves me cuz im so tall

minho: tall people always gotta remind you they’re tall 😒

like we get it bigfoot

gally: shut up tinkerbell

y/n: you’re somewhat tall minho

minho: any man under 6’0 is considered short

y/n: yeah but newt is 6 ft trapped in a 5’10 body so not totally true

newt: what does that even mean

minho: give me a break

i can tell you exactly what that means

she wanna hit

newt: stop

tommy: don’t get his hopes up

newt: dude

stfu

y/n: what newt said

gally: can we appreciate the only one actually over 6 ft here

minho: no.

tommy: im the same height as newt!!!!

y/n: yea but ur like 3 ft trapped in a 5’10 body tommy not the same

tommy: oh ..

minho: kind of real

newt: can someone kick gally i’m tired of seeing his fucking name on my phone

gally: then turn your phone off don’t you have old ladies to tend to at the library

newt: yeah and they all love me

y/n: so real

if i was old i’d go in there and imagine you’re my young boyfriend and cling to everything u say

tommy: true im the old ladies

y/n: LMAO

minho: write a fanfic y/n why don’t you

newt: yeah you both are old and not beating the dementia allegations

y/n: IM THE YOUNGEST HERE

ur just mad you’re old as dirt

tommy: youth has left you newt and it has turn you bitter in your old age.

minho: thomas knows big words who knew

newt: which word in that sentence was big??

y/n: shut up minho

minho: wtf did i do

y/n: idk but i imagine you sitting there typing on your little phone and i got pissed

minho: WHAT???!.‘wKWHFO

newt: LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

yeah chubby little fingers hitting the wrong letters on his iphone 8

minho: im leaving

tommy: dont leave i forgive you for what you said

minho: i don’t give a damn

y’all mad y’all are all fake im the realest i’ve been prophesizing and reading scriptures 7000 years before y’all fake asses were born be so for real right now

y/n: not reading that

congrats

or sorry for what happened idk

about to drink my coffee in a wine glass

tommy: just drink wine

newt: it’s noon tommy??

tommy: ok and?

newt: explains a lot

minho: no coffee for me this new year only water and pussy juice fr fr

[ newt removed minho from the group ]

tommy: woah

y/n: woah..

newt: i can’t take it anymore

alby: How did you get that access..?

newt: don’t worry about it

in times of need i have to step in like that

y/n: hi alby!

alby: Hey y/n!

tommy: you’re such a hero newt

gally: that was deserved

who wants to play minecraft rn

y/n: me!!

alby: I’ll play, I’m off work today.

y/n: let’s go to the desert i want a camel

gally: alright but then the caves after i wanna mine

newt: if you mine with her you gotta bring extra food and storage when she dies so you can pick up the fallen items

gally: i forget you’re her designated babysitter

y/n: oh please no he isn’t

and i’ll bring my own food

newt: you always say that and then leave it in the stove oven

y/n: WELL I WONT THIS TIME

newt: sure ok

i’ll get on after work

[ alby added minho to the group ]

minho: when i get you.

newt: why did you add him back alby

alby: He was harassing me.

newt: be a man and take it

gally: im leaving

[ gally left the group ]

minho: im going to throw up and die

newt: im staying out of this

minho: (guy who caused it) im staying out of this

y/n: why does gally alwyas leave 😔

newt: why question a gift from the heavens

tommy: get online y/n gally is attacking my dirt house w a pickaxe :((((

y/n: NO IM COMING

minho: im coming to your work newt

newt: okay im locking the door early then

minho: i’ll smash through the glass idc

newt: i’m leaving my shift is over at 1 today.

minho: i’ll use life360 on you

newt: i deleted that app

minho: i’ll stand in the middle of the street

newt: ok let me position my car in front of you

just come to my apartment and we can play w them on pc and xbox

minho: …. fine but i hate your guts

newt: fine

y/n: HURRY GALLY IS ATTACKING MY SHED NOOOOWWW

newt: i’ll just rebuild it

minho: i’ll set it on fire just wait

[kingg-of-avidya]

hey so ik saw that post about the panel where jouno is referred to as king of avidya and as a desi person that really really intrigued me. I did some really quick research cuz ik the antonym of that word which is 'vidya' it's a sanskrit word for knowledge and its a pretty common word but the word avidya is not something that is heard often. So I was wondering why he was referred to as that and what it means for him.

Basically I dont think it's used in a negative when referring to him? I don't think it was used in a way to insult him by calling him ignorant(?) Cuz mainly no one uses it like that and also idk the og japanese translation of that so don't mind me anyway.

Idk if you are desi or a hindu/Buddhist and neither am I an expert in indian religions but I did some but I did some research and found some pretty cool stuff

and here goes my rant sorry for infodumping on you

so vidya means knowledge avidya is the antonym of vidya it literally means ignorance, misconceptions or incorrect knowledge.

But this is mostly used in religious contexts (its not really used in non religious contexts and ive never heard any word in indian languages which is derived from it so thats why i found it interesting this is my first time hearing it actually) and its a key concept in indian religions including Hinduism and Buddhism. It's been mentioned in many religious texts.

Basically according to indian religions, avidya means ignorance in the context of metaphysical reality. The usage is different based on the religion.

In vedic literature, avidya means illusion, spiritual ignorance.

Hinduism considers denial or misconception of Atman(soul/self) as avidya (aka the primal ignorance of who we are) and Buddhism considers denial/ misconception An-atman(non-soul)(aka in sentient beings there is no permanent substance called a soul) as avidya.

And since bsd happens to have a lot of references hear and there to Buddhism regarding certain things and characters in the manga I wanna focus on Buddhism.

Basically it is the misconceptions of the basic essence of nature/reality.

In Buddhism. Avidya is the root cause of Dukkha(sanskrit for pain, suffering) is the first link to rebirth. (you could say that that's kinda a not good thing in Buddhism ig cuz)

[In Buddhism (and hinduism), it is believed that a living being once born dies and rebirth and so on this endless cycle is called Samsara and the main goal of a being in these religion is to stop this cycle and achieve salvation(called Nirvana not the band lol in Buddhism and moksha(hinduism) this is achieved by enlightenment of one's soul. Anyway I digress]. Removal of avidya causes to overcoming dukkha (which is part of the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism) the concept is sound in many Buddhist traditions and in most contexts it is specified to be the thing that bonds us to the endless cycles of life and death via dukkha and breaking this bond one can achieve Nirvana.

Buddhist teachings aims for cultivation of wisdom(idk what context in particular) so the ignorance ceases.

ANYWAY one thing I specifically wanna mention is the Twelve Link Of Dependent Origination (dvādaśāṅga-pratītyasamutpāda) also referred to as the Twelve Nidanas: they explain the Dependent Origination which is a key doctrine in Buddhism ig kinda means everything has been caused into existence. (Idk how to explain) kinda like "if this exists, that exists; if this ceases to exist, that also ceases to exist". Twelve links are the cyclic processes that explain the Dependent Origination they are: ignorance, mental formation, consciousness, name and form, the six senses, contact, feeling, craving, clinging, becoming, birth, and old age and death.

I'll only talk about the first one which is ignorance (avidya) and I've already explained in detail about it so I won't repeat all that BUT BUT GUESS WHAT

acc to the 12 links avidya is symbolized by a blind man or a man wearing a blindfold groping for his way with a cane.!!!! That's interesting cuz jouno is blind!!

That's very very interesting and i wonder how else it applies to jouno cuz we know even if he's blind his other senses, including his smell and hearing, are incredibly strong that allow him to sense people's body processes like perspiration, body temperature, muscle sounds, heartbeat, breathing, and even their resentment and inner emotions. This also enables him to "hear" the secrets of his targets and apparently he is also immune to illusions and he can also sense ones location by touching the ground and sensing it.

Basically he's very very aware of all the sense and everything around him but idk much about him or his personaltiy/analyzed in the past so I can't really say much but it does make me wonder what the parallels are. And his name "king of avidya" maybe there's something deep or maybe I'm just thinking too much and if it's connected in anyway to the irl author but I couldn't find anything about irl!jouno by a quick Google search wiki showed nothing anywho this is getting long already.

I'm soo sorry for the long rant I just needed to talk about it to someone, ik all this is complex and new and many things hear mightve gone over your head I tried my best in explaining it properly but I'm no scholar or teacher so it might not be best but again so sorry for wasting your space agian idk all the parallels btw jouno and the religious stuff maybe it ain't that deep idk lol but agian the context might change based on thebog Japanese word used for this and idk that but yeah.

oh my god this was just so interesting to read, and don't ever worry about it being too long i was fully immersed in it

you see, despite the fact that i found jouno being called "king of ignorance" funny, i agree that the liutenant probably wasn't using it to refer to jouno in an insulting way. i originally thought that "the king of avidya" was some sort of ironic nickname, considering jouno being blind but also being able to hear and understand many things about people despite that, even the way the feel.

but when i read your thoughts about it, it all became much more interesting.

if we look at the word avidya in a religious context, mainly Buddhism, it is the first base of the condition of life that gives way to other conditions such as "formation" or "consciousness", and first of the twelve links that chain us to "samsara", the life and death cycle that causes suffering, which we want to escape from by achieving "nirvana" (enlightenment).

Literally translating to "ignorance, misconception, false knowledge, not-seeing", avidya is understood as the basis of suffering (a root of all evil kinda way) and as you said, it is described as a blind man holding a cane, VERY interesing detail considering jouno is also blind as you pointed out.

basically it is the misunderstanding or ignorance of the basis of our existence, and the delusion of perceiving a "permanent self" in the ever changing nature of existence.

now, in the context of jouno.

him being called "the king of avidya", avidya as in "misunderstanding or ignorance of the basis of one's existence", it may refer to jouno misunderstanding his own nature. think of the cruel, sadistic monster originally he thought he was. he just "wants to hurt people in the name of the law, corner them, and hear the sound of their destruction", in his own words. but that may not reflect his true self at all.

remember the words of tecchou; "no one understands jouno. jouno is cold, but in his core, he's a hero that despises tyranny and wants to protect the weak." it may be true, and jouno may not even be realizing it.

and when it comes to avidya as in "the delusion of perceiving a permanent self in the ever changing nature of existence", think about the moment when he talked about the appreciation that one old lady showed him that day. he was deeply affected by it, and it is clear that the way he saw his job (and himself, to some extent) changed that day, "punishing the criminals" became "protecting the innocent". but even with all of that, one can argue that despite feeling so much different about it all and now craving appreciation more than causing suffering, deep down he still believes that his nature is not good, and falsely holds onto his past self despite everything, still thinking of himself as that criminal, that sadistic and cruel monster from six years ago, before fukuchi recruited him, thus holding onto a permanent yet false self in his head, despite the ever changing nature of his existence.

i hope all of that made some kind of sense, it's 2 am and i wrote all of this in a whim haha i just find jouno's character so intriguing and the possibility of this nickname revealing many more things about his character and this little rant we are having over it just has me excited

[lanaevyssmoved]

i dont think ive seen any of ur pcs other than afhiri (who i adore) basically i am here to say if u want share pics and some facts abt ur other pcs!! :D

this is rue she is my durge and her playthrough got murdered by durge related bugs that i didnt wanna deal with and would rather wait for them to fix the cutscenes <3 also known as rue the impaler shes a wild magic sorcerer who got fed up of being one shot and became a tank with a barbarian multiclass <3 afhiri is a resist durge who i can explain best as those uncomfortable and uneasy to be around strange emo girls who stare into ur soul with lifeless eyes. shes pretty... but shes weird

my oc dru kind of got cannibalised by rue but still exists.. cuz dru's intended path literally doesn't work because i made her before i finished the game and the ending doesn't allow her to exist and it would have to be rewritten by me so much that i just don't have the energy so dru just lives in my lil au "what i wish the ending allowed" space in my brain <3 i'm not gonna share a picture because this also allows me to have her exist outside of the games limitations so no picture <3 she's so much cooler than the cc allows <3 dru is a high elf who is delusional and thinks shes actually a fey eladrin and is very uncomfortable to be around because shes just insane. completely isolated from society and the world and would have the hermit background if they didnt remove it .. larian literally didnt want her to exist.

unfortunately due to my pc death i no longer have asuras cc stuff so she will need to be remade but... this is asura shes literally terrible. shes my unfortunately extremely power hungry character who will accept every single option to make her stronger. she fucks mindflayers. and minthara. and she and minthara will rule the entire world together as tyrant wives and maybe they ascend. true love stuff. asura won't live until i'm confident minthara isn't a broken fucking mess . i think playing asura will make me worse. shes like how people play bhaalist durges who love their daddy but shes not the durge. shes just a bad person

THIS IS TAV. yeah his name is tav. they're just a tav man idk. this is my first character from full release tav is an ancients paladin whose entire vibe is "you don't quite suite your oath" and that's fun. they are the most lawful good boring ass motherfucker you ever met and literally my favourite type of character. he's all about Justice and Order and Goodness and Sacrificing Your Happiness For The Greater Good. that kind of annoying paladin! <3 tav never got to finish the game because my pc died and killed them. oh and tav has a twin who dedicated their life to annoying tav because .. like. lawful good paladin? DESERVES to be annoyed

which is really funny because the twin is my EA character! also tav! see the thing is. paladin tav is actually tav. but this monster? tav isn't their name. but they go by tav. just so they can hopefully fuck with their twins reputation. doing terrible things in their lawful good twins name!!! i still can't decide if i want twin tav to work with the guide and kiss nine-fingers keenne or work with the zhentharim and kiss rugan. or maybe they're a double agent and kiss both. idk!!! twin tav has literally no moral compass and just does shit for money mostly. and to make their twins life hell <3

and lastly i have this dude who doesn't have a place on my oc page because he doesn't have a name or nothing like. he's completely blank beyond i KNOW he's something to do with afhiri. so fun fact afhiri's lore was leading towards this dude being some sort of outer planes entity, either a god (dead star) or the herald of such, and baited afhiri through a portal as part of her destiny. this is how she gains her wild magic. BUT this was scrapped for what ended up happening (afhiri befriends a chwinga. cuteness ensues). HE STILL EXISTS IN AFHIRIS LORE SOMEWHERE - HE IS LITERALLY A COMPANION IN HER PARTY - when my pc stops crashing every time i play bg3 he's going to be on my blog a lot because im gonna use fancy editing to make him a companion and shove him in cutscenes. afhiri and he will kiss btw. i definitely don't want him to be actually a tiefling though this is just a form he uses to walk faerun and not to cause any ruckus... and to make afhiri feel ease around him <3 ALSO HES NOT ACTUALLY AFHIRIS GUARDIAN... u will see who is when my pc stops dying <3

[youve-doomed-us-all-jerk]

and finished it ,got dat true ending yes def had a great time on the game 8/10 (but yeah performance def docked some points as well as some writing threads that felt kinda dropped, but am trying to in good faith piece it together in me mind so just gonna ramble spoilers under the cut:

when people said this is what they wanted the original DD to be i can see that but like i feel like the lead up to the game kept hearing people who know more about the originals history talk about how "40-60% of the original vision was cut down" from dd1 and i feel like my brain unfortunately interpreted that as "oh cool so were gonna have 100 new vocations like the monk and 100 monsters and the parallel worlds(technically true☝🏽🤓) and the moon stuff, neat" thats on me lmao but yeah removing those expectations and seeing it for what it is, its def the spirit of the the first game but its systems deeper and more fleshed out not good at all the techny terms but im not very into or good at action games but this one made me want to be cuz the combat was fun haha hmm writing wise there was a point where i felt like everything just suddenly got dropped once the godbane stuff started happening and youre suddenly barreling to the ending while everything else just wasnt important anymore lmao, but trying to interpret the story as a story the pathfinder is weaving, i think its meant to feel like that cuz we see the pathfinder essentially write us out of problems, give us a griffin to escape slavery, gives us a clue to where were supposed to go and the big one he like straight up changes ambrosius mind about giving us the godsbane when it wouldnt make sense for him too, the old man by harve even alludes to this by saying the real world is much messier when hes telling you about how fake everything is, like the watcher said everyone there is there to play a part in a tale hes laid out and i think he wanted to get to the ending faster. It's definitely another layer they added from the first games cycle, but do wish if that is what theyre going for(and if im not delusional lmao) that they did more like the ambrosius thing just watching as he ass pulls us out of dead ends making us feel what rothais felt when he realized all his feats and hardships didnt matter, also just would have liked more sidequests with fun characters lmao.

Also did enjoy the endings of the 3 major peoples in the unmoored world and felt like their side quests really fleshed them out and led them there to their endings well,mostly, very cool idea to bring it all together like that. elves wanted to stay isolated but they needed outside influence to break tradition, to save their tree and how it all built to them agreeing to seek refuge with the other races rather than die with their way of life. Ironic that disa was half right about sven needing to inherit the throne but ofc she was also half wrong cuz she a tyrant and wants him to have it mainly cuz of blood, but he deserves it cuz his sidequests were about him getting to know the common folk and becoming self assured lmao battahl tbh full disclosure i messed up the queen nadias sidequest to the rose chateau, tried to scare the dick head shopkeeper into giving me the medicine for the beastren and got arrested so idk how that one ends(will find out in NG+ lmao) but based on the ones i did do, it seems like the nations whole thing was about always being in conflict with each other and how the unmoored quests there are about making people put there differences aside and band together, including the arisen teaming with phaesus. Also like the irony of their view on pawns being right at first but by the end of the game they end up being wrong. but yeah do feel like they didnt get into that more, along with what the lambent flame is? (googled that there was lore texts you can find that explain how an earlier emperor is deceiving the people about it and what it really does) they also dont go into the fact vermund was a nation of beastren, started by a beastren and then history was wiped?? and how theres vermundians fear of beastren and human children always look like beastren and yet wilhelmina is a direct contradiction of this?? that seemed like a really juicy plot point but they didnt really do anything with it. and lastly idek where to start with the pawn and arisen ending, found out theres slight differences in the affinity ending (got the high affinity one cuz reds my my gurl i always revive run straight to her to revive her🤗) but watching them talk about how happy they are to have their own will while saying theyd still do anything for you filled me with something, dont even know what but was crazy.

oh also before i forget another way its in the spirit of the first game for me is just like in the original i also forgot to talk to the person i was romancing and giving them flowers before the endings and got diff people appearing there just like my first playthru of the dd1 lmfao( got manela with grigori and sara in the true ending, was going for ulrika this playthru lmfao) def gonna NG+, maybe do a magic archer and get the stuff i missed and try and get the other endings. Also hoping for another expansion/dlc like they did with dd1 down the line with more vocations and monsters.

[alyszaen]

your moots as skz members!

This was so difficult Istg but so FUN!!! I quoted a few people, so if you want me to remove the quotes please let me know!!! I made sure it's nothing personal you told me and only shows off your vibe. Thank you for the game, anon!!

Chan - @j-0ne25 - my parent LISTEN. Tan is a Stayblr NATIVE. When we first became moots I got so excited, because "omg a stayblr giant is my MOOT now". Tan isn't a moot I have chatted with all that much, but the few times we have I got clear chris vibes. They clearly care a ton for other people, trying to help when they can. She has a lot of experience in writing and it shows. All in all it's just Leader vibes. I would gladly follow you through the world!

Lino - @yrhome - my bestie Okay I know this is a surprise. And from the way she texts, you would not think that elle is lino. One day we were talking about haunting people as ghosts (i don't even remember how that started) and elle did not HESITATE to say this: "I'LL HAUNT HYUNJIN FIRST JUST BECAUSE THAT MF WOULD GET SCARED SO EASY" Do you need any more proof????? This bitch is lino. Aint no way ANY other member would say this. Like leave poor hyunne alone mans is AFRAID for his life. I just know if elle realistically were to ever have hyunjin visit her, she would buy an airfryer just to scare him. She is a fucking menace.

Changbin - @strayingawayy - my husband Welcome to the SHO SHO SHO. Lol I'm so funny fr fr Nah but sho is so changbin coded. Like out of all the members, changbin is the most likely to be married to multiple people (felix and hyunjin). And sho, han and I are married. Sho is my husband. My wife. My bestie waifu bro. (lets be honest han would hate us). Nah but the messages scream changbin, as does changbin himself. If sho and I were in a room together we would be L O U D LOUD. If changbin was there, too, it would be over. Chan would hate us. He really would. IDK how else to explain it other than loud. And I don't mean vocally. I mean that too, probs. But just the vibe.

Hyunjin - @boydepartment - my sister Jay is 100% Hyunjin. She not only has his energy level, but also his drama. If Hyunne and JJ ever met, I fear for the world (and whoever is in the same room when they do) because they would probably just spill coffee everywhere. Hyunjin would GAG at what she does with her frozen fruits, but he'd then try it in silence the next day - realizing it's lowkey intelligent. But it's not only the drama, but the sensitivity. My sister is someone who can read the room well, and even if she doesn't particularly like someone, she still shows empathy for them. Also ARTISTS! Jinnie would be OBSESSED with Jays artstyle, honestly.

Han - @stealanity - my me I hope you feel honored that you get MY han spot smh Jokes aside. Matty is so Han. Like okay, I don't even know how to explain it, so I'll just show you guys some quotes. "AJFISJEJE IM SORRY" "YES DONT WORRY i screamed a lot" "HEY OMG???" Like look at these. These are so real. Like same honestly. Actually the more I re-read our dms I'm convinced that Han would be afraid of us lowkey LMAOOOOOO Nah but seriously. Matty can be just as energetic as han. Screaming at me in caps, getting just as excited about things. But she has a way of turning it "professh"? fast. Without matty i wouldn't have gone to music bank. Like ????? I owe her my life basically???

Felix - @gimmeurtmi - my sunshine The second I found out she were a spidey stan, the excitement she showed was IMMENSE. I could feel it through the screen! she is such a lovely person. Lilly is incredibly kind. Whenever we text I feel so warm and comfortable. I just KNOW she has a sunshine smile like felix does. All I want from Lilly is a hug. Like gimme. I know it would be the best of all hugs. Lilly knows the memes. Lilly makes the memes. Lilly would totally have recorded that tiktok. You know the one. The one where felix put his whole felussy into it. Like I know she would have recorded it. She probably would have held the camera for felix. I just see it.

Seungmin - @lino-jagiyaa - my comfort Rin may not believe this themselves, but she has a calmness that I haven't seen anywhere. When we first messaged she matched the vibe immediately, without it feeling forced. They were understanding, relatable but still real and themselves. The way she messages is truly gen-z, but not too much? It's like the way we all know that Seungmin knows how to use his phone like a pro, but he will act all adult about it, like he just LEARNED it and didn't have it all his life. Like bro. But anyways. If Seungmin and Rin were to sit in a room together, it would be the most polite room ever. There would be a couple of conversations, but then both would ask someone else a question and just listen to them, content.

Jeongin - @bbyquokka - my discord emote supplier Okay I know this one is unexpected. Nemu is very internet. Like the way she texts shouts "hey ive known this all my life". Now I know this could go for most of the members, BUT the vibe I get is incredibly innie. She is sweet, kind, calm, but I know she gets excited about things that she cares about. Also her emote game is almost as good as mine so I fear for my status as discord emote queen.

[caedogeist-rights]

(uhhh fuckin, wano act 2 spoilers, idk. i dont typically liveblog on tumblr. im at 943 rn.)

rarghhhhhhhh ok so. im not even done with the episode at this point but everything is going so bad for everyone except the strawhats, who are actively in battle so we'll fuckin see. the heart pirates... basil fucking hawkins i want his HEAD he's so fucking CRUEL and just... ugh the CRUELTY on display coming from kaido et al. kid and killer.... like... dude..... fucking KILLER..... i knew i recognized that face (from tumblr, not from the fascinating masked man) and just. oh g-d. oh that is the WORST thing. orochi and kaido steal your dignity and your pride and they are just... so fucking awful.

there's a theme all across one piece of luffy, freedom, vs. a controlling force trying to kill or control more. we know this. within this is luffy going against someone who controls others' specific actions, makes people do what they don't want to do. in thriller bark, dressrosa, and now in wano, (and also others but listen idr) the problem society faces is that someone is taking over their bodies. im putting a pin on connecting thriller bark to these two (short answer: its about someone changing how you're seen) but. i mean we know the connection between dressrosa and wano. we're all one piece fans here.

the POINT is. orochi and doflamingo and kaido and such are powerful people specifically in their ability to remove people's individual free will. doffy takes away movement and narrative/how one is perceived, orochi and kaido take away people's means of living (food) and means of expression (the fucking smile fruit). SMILE makes me so damn mad in a way that doffy's actions never quite did, because it is truly removing a person's... communication, essentially. the way they are seen and can connect with the world is, even if orochi and kaido are dead and gone, forever altered. they're always laughing, but the people fed SMILE who didn't get an animal are silenced. the truth of their lives is hidden and even if they try to explain anything, SMILE essentially scrambled the social signal to such an extent that the message can't go through properly. it's a terrifying thing, to not only be unable to express the emotions you want to, but to be wholly unable to express anything BUT joy. SMILE doesn't just make them laugh and smile, it- either directly or as a ripple effect/coping mechanism- changes how people talk about things, makes people sound optimistic, take things lightly, and overall reduce any weight to their words. they're seen as fools when all they are are victims with their mouths taped shut. and i fucking HATE it.

which brings me to killer.

im just seething with rage tbh. killer's identity has been shattered. the things he cares about have been removed. eating a SMILE, losing his mask- he lost his dignity and his pride and it just hurts to look at. he... has been changed to such a degree. they even changed his fucking name (i think??? at least like... the common name others use for him.) i want him to never smile again if thats what he wants.

AND ALSO THEYRE BEING TAUNTED AND TORTURED AND THATS JUST. REALLY FUCKING MEAN.

i see. now. why wano is like... very much so... of COURSE the place where luffy ends up. and i think. from what ive gathered on this here website. of course wano is where gear 5 happens. they NEED that freedom. luffy save me. luffy. save me luffy.

i have like... 140 episodes left of this arc? im emotional? things will progress to such an extent? one piece is good and wano is weird? prolonged laughter is very uncomfortable to listen to? wahoo.

[guideaus]

tristamp ep 11 thoughts

tristamp wolfwood is lame and awful as always. if he really did just leave there'd be nothing making me think he cares in the slightest. trimax ww was between a rock and a hard place, wracked with guilt for his new found friend who doesnt deserve whats happening to him, while here he's just like, gloomy at most, which is shitty. i dont like him

is meryl taking his place in rescuing him lmao?? has she taken over and speedrunning his character arc lol. not that i think lowly of her, but there is a reason ww was able to go and save vash in the manga and not her lol, its not exactly misogyny. tristamp meryl just got a gun and idk if she can even use it, too

knives is... being knives i guess w some doc ock insp, which is surprising considering they removed previous comic influences

the animation looks nice as always

they dont really look like theyre in water though lol

i think tristamp really wants to explain things, but doesnt have time for it? in trimax i personally dont need an explanation for why plants have their power or why vash and knives were born and no others were, u could just say it was thru experimentation and i'd be like ok, whatever. i dont think thats a necessary focus

i think the soul stuff is weird too

i dont see how conrad making plants independent would help anything for him rn lol. trimax conrad defended tesla, knives and vash, but obviously used plant's power once they were all stranded, and his morals slipped once he became the expert on plants and was depended on. here, this guy wants to do the opposite? you arent in space with backup, buddy

tristamp vash is much more guilty than trimax/90s vash. those two were obviously very guilty feeling, but vash including himself in the humans' suffering makes it different, even if stamp gives the excuse of vash sharing a password lol

tristamp again using religious (catholic) phases just kind of randomly

the characters are once again thinking what a viewer would, but conrad makes no sense here, lol. trimax conrad encouraged knives' powers so he'd run out of energy and tried to persuade him to stop when knives found out. knives is absolutely putting his life in conrad's rn, it doesnt make sense for conrad to aid him, the gung ho guns dont exist in tristamp either so he doesnt have their ideology either (and isnt truly a plant worshiper)

WOLFWOOD TAKES ROBERTO'S CIGS FJHSDFKJDSD i think its funny in a fucked up sense, but like, in a serious way its another reason not to like tristamp ww. why did they make him life this...

i honestly forgot ww even had the whole "choice" thing in stampede. in 98, its basically his thing, much more so than the manga (bc he's allowed to grow past it), while here all he does is yell at vash. it doesnt sound like its coming from a personal place of concern, instead its judgement where vash smiles back for some reason

i didnt expect to see a child get shot lol. ww killing children moments #3

never thought i'd see knives with the punisher

i also dont know what these moments are trying to prove. either to make him snap or give up?? its not exactly like what the gung ho guns were made for

i dont like looking at knives' body lol

i think its kind of hard to use meryl and roberto as significant characters with how the series is

i dont think i really like the literal use of plants. ppl on here would be nitpicky and say the planet is actually no man's land, not gunsmoke, and i'd be like whatever, but this is my nitpick, they are plants as in they hold power!! they arent flora!!

it seems like theyre trying to use the scientific memory wipe as an explanation for why vash forgot july lol? instead of just... trauma

meryl is kind of standing around lol. with the writing its one of those "characters all just stand around and watch the Thing happen" moments...

im guessing tristamp will give knives mommy issues?

i still cant believe their take for july

he kinda has mommy issues, but bc they made vash weaker? so, ig, knives is just mean here..? she doesnt neglect either of them here, but he doesnt like her comforting him? hes more jealous??? tristamp also gives unanswered implications of the expectation of the brothers as plants, where in trimax, rem just raised them as human children

its kinda silly rem just has a shrine (? unless she is casually just keeping a former experiment in the next room) of tesla that the kids have gone in at some point and know of lol. and she expects them to not think anything abt it..? its another instance of tristamp not showing the world bc they kinda just teleport to this room and are investigating. tristamp loves trying to explain things but ig just entirely skipped past ghost tesla guiding them to her corpse

kni(ves) and vash having records as projects where tesla is at makes rem more suspicious than in the manga where she just didnt tell them (though i kind of think this is just orange's opportunity to throw out info)

idk why they made her be born 50 years ago

HER CORPSE IS JUST THERE TOO FDHHSD???

vash having NO reaction to that memory is awful. just bad. i think they cut it short, but even him remembering it... 😬

...is that all we get, seriously, lol...

IT LOOKS LIKE REM JUST LET THEM GO FSDGFDHJ tristamp vash truly is just a passive husk ig. knives picked up a bible for some reason. who gave him that.

it does suck they completely took out vash trying to kill himself and rem.

i think what knives is saying is fine only if hes lying to manipulate vash. any other show i'd accept those lines but 75% of tristamp's dialogue are characters explaining things for the viewer, not them having natural conversations

idk i really am getting fed up with this vash. he HAS to do something at some point. he has to snap. how does he hear 'i did it for you" and be like "oh my god its MY fault?!" instead of fighting back

meryl really is not doing anything lmao. she picked up a gun and is not using it

have all knives' men disappeared. in trimax he had the gung ho guns to torture vash and the top ones to get rid of any threat. here all the other antagonists are just missing ig

when i read the manga, i tried to understand why knives ended up different, and i think its probably rem's talk abt suicide, but here there isnt even a reason why vash should be picking her side. the series has completely dropped her influence and instead just has vash being nice.

they turned vash into a statue...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HSDFHDS?!?!?!?

you all were not lying abt those plants getting pregnant...

WHY WOULD CONRAD BE HELPING HIM IF HES ON HIS DEATHBED

the stuff is turning into rem's image...

and that is it. planets.

[death2you]

. . . 6_6

ok so there's KEY differences between the two different tier lists that i made. so here's the killer ones first and then ill explain them

OK. Figure 1: This is about if I like you as a killer. probably based on aesthetics, some lore, but nothing really deeper than that. its just kinda. Yeah youre cool:3 OFC. OFC. my babygirls: legion and trickster in the top tier. cus <3 yeah.... second tier are killers that i Really do like!! and whenever the mood strikes, it strikes hard, if that makes sense. like yeah. ur cool and i like u as a killer :) the third tier is just kinda. yeah ur cool killers but i dont really. Feel a lot about them in any particular way. it's not negative though. i just. yeah. deathslinger is on the coattails of the second tier bcuz sometimes... He has his own little spotlight in my heart but overall, hes just. Yeah. UM.... yeah. and then last tier are killers that i think are boring / i dont really have a lot to add to them / or simply i just. i just dont care that much about them. so. yeah ...

OK. Figure 2: THESE are the killers that i routinely think about, and if i have anything to add in terms of lore and character development. OFC. ofc: legion in the top tier. im constantly thinking about frank and susie and julie and joey and their group dynamics and hrgunaiogun... like ofc. just.. it makes sense. anyway: second tier are killers that i think about and i really like, and have interesting thought circles about them and how they would act but i dont really Add anything new in terms of lore or anything. i mostly focus moreso on how their lore affected them, and their dynamics with other killers in the realm. just character development stuff, not really Rewriting their lore or whatever. (not that i Rewrite legion's lore but sometimes im tinkering around with it). third tier are killers that lore is interesting and i Like! but i dont. really focus on them that much. theyre kinda the middle child in my mind. but that doesnt mean i dont Like them, its just that. idk. they dont captivate me i guess... and the fourth tier are killers that i dont really think about but i still Like. i focus on them Less then i do the third tier and thats kinda saying a lot. like. idk. no real feelings about them except: Yeah. That's a dead by daylight character. anyway the last tier are killers that literally i dont care about and their lore is boring and if they were removed i wouldnt mind. sorry. im just a hater. ^__^

ok so. here are the survivor versions. tbh i think about the survivors a LOTTTTT less than i do the killers. i just dont really focus on them, idk. i think cus theyre not as fucked up ... maybe im just missing something though.

OK!!! Figure 1.2: top tier are survivors that i REALLLYYYY like <3 AND OF COURSE: CLAUDETTE: NUMERO UNO EN TODO EL MUNDO!!!!!!! and yun-jin, and elodie <3 my girlies my number ones... second tier: survivors that i like and sometimes i get in a little bit of a mood for them, whenever i see them disrespected. its like a hidden power: i come out of the woodworks whenever i sense something wrong. felix richter, the man who needs [REDACTED, DATA EXPUNGED]. jake park who i really have grown more fond of in the passing weeks, ofc my morally askew feng min <3 and ace, kate, and yui in there cus i think theyre pretty. ok third tier: i wanted to put dwight in the second tier because sometimes i begrudgingly like him a lot but. I hate him. so hes in the third tier. :3 and the rest of these survivors, again, are people that i like and dont mind. Seeing i guess. and then the last tier are characters i DGAF ABOUT LOOOOOL... FUCK mikeala, idk why i dont like her but i dont fuckign like her. Anyway.

ok, figure 2.2. this is judged less harshly because i really really dont think about survivors that much. most of them are passing thoughts, but i ranked them on how Often they're passing thoughts... so from the top tier: ofc i have to have my babygirl in there. i think theres subtext abt her being autistic and i think shes alesbian and well. I just like her. :3 second tier: characters that i like thinking about it in terms of their lore and how they might operate in the realm and stuff. i esp like thinking about felix and how he might handle being away from his literal pregnant wife, and i like thinking abt how feng min is just. an absolute cunt in trials. etc etc.. so Yeas. anyway fourth tier: these are characters that i like Trying to think about them and i do successfully sometimes but. idk. they just dont hold my attention. tbh i Gotta think about jeff if im thinking about pre-entity legion. so thats what hes there. and then yeah.... whatever. actually i might put elodie in the second tier because this is the first time that the entity took two at once so. their dynamic might be cool, i think theyre best friends, and they would SOOOO deal with the problem differently. so. yeah. elodie's in the second tier, pls ignore my error. fourth tier are characters that are. yk. just there. no hard feelings about them but not super fluffy and positive ones either. fifth tier are characters that i just. dont really care about / think are Super boring / or just dont captivate me. sorry. fuck mikaela. and then the last tier are characters that u literally cldnt pay me to even pretend i think / care about them. LOL!

erm.... yeah... thats what i think about all of the characters in DBD. sorry if its rambling or im not explaining myself properly, i just. i cant. im jsut typing here and i have to jump from letter to letter cus im so tiny and my weigh doesnt even press the keys down. so yeah. sorr.y

[cringesideblog]

here’s my dnf playlist and a complete song by song track-list and why I put them on it.

heatwaves- on here for very obvious reasons. i don’t think I need to explain. but here are some lyrics anyway. “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.”

Jenny- again this is kinda obvious. “I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead, I don’t know how to say this, cuz you’re really my dearest friend.”

TALK ME DOWN- this one just has the best friends pining for eachother vibe. “I wanna sleep next to you, and that’s all I wanna do right now.”

Dark paradise- kinda has dream smp vibes. but also you could argue heatwaves vibes. “Everytime I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise.” “There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep.” “There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams.”

Sweater weather- yeah you know why. you absolutely know why. “All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands. I hate the beach but I stand, in California with my toes in the sand.”

Drop the Guillotine- idk man just vibey. give it a listen you’ll get it. it’ll click. “You sure know how to drop that guillotine on me, though you would never wanna see me bleed.”

Can I call you tonight?- thats on their only for of communication being through the phone huh. (major heatwaves vibe) “powers out and I can’t turn the fan on, so can I call you tonight? trying make up my mind, just how I feel.”-“I hear your voice on the phone, now I’m no longer alone.”

Lemon boy- oh my god this song. geogre do be seeing dream as his lemon boy. “I helped him plant his seeds and we’d mow the lawn in bad weather.”

Yellow- DREAM IS LITERALLY GEORGES YELLOW SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.” “For you I’d bleed myself dry.”

Like you do- first of all I love this song, second, this has dream being a little too attached vibes. The whole song is just them. “Lost in the blue, they don’t love me like you do, those chills that I knew they were nothing without you, and everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose, no one loves me like you do.” “Since I met you, all the gloomy days just seem to shine a little more brightly.”

I saw you in a dream- mega heatwaves vibe. “When I’m awake I can’t switch off,” “I saw you in a dream, you came to me. You were the sweetest apparition, such a pretty vision.”

Maybe you’re the reason- did someone say pining best friend who doesn’t know that they’re in love ? this song. this song right here. “I keep looking for something, even though I know that it’s not there. Maybe you’re the reason. And anytime I try to figure it out, you’re the only thing I can think about.”

The king- DREAM SMP VIBE. “You like me, well obviously, so why you tryna leave when you know that I’m the king?” “Other lovers give you no luck, cuz I’m the only one who’s made you fall in love.” “Playing with your heart cuz you gave me the throne.”

Sweet- an adorable song truly that actually fits them so well. “Watching the, video that you sent me- you know that I’m obsessed with your body, but it’s the way you smile that does it for me.” “It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me.”

Apocalypse- um okay here me out, apocalypse au?? yeah i know it’s cute as shit you’re welcome. “Your lips my lips, apocalypse.” “When you’re all alone, I will reach for you, when you’re feeling low, I will be there too.”

Fear of the Water- don’t come for me this ones kinda sad, beautiful song though. “If this was meant for me why does it hurt so much, and if you’re not made for me why did we fall in love?”

Dreaming of you- two words, heat. waves. but also yeah good song for them in general. “Want you all the time, and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you.”

Wires- uhhhhh dream smp vibe, dream villain arc n all . “If he said help me kill the president, id say he needs medicine.” “He said that I should take it in, listen to every word he’s speaking.”

Midnight love- it’s girl in love so, you already know how it issss. “I know I don’t want to, be the one that you run to, when you’ve got nowhere else to go, when you need some love.” “I always give in to give you it all.” “I can’t be your midnight love, when your silver is my gold.”

The beach- SUCH A HEATWAVES SONG JUST LISTEN. “I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you.” “I think I can see the beach, I know what’s underneath. I need you here with me,”

Cherry flavored- the neighborhood just.. they have a dnf vibe. “Cherry flavored conversations with you got me hanging on. Down to earth from all the waiting. Take me somewhere beyond.”

Pretty boy- geogre is a pretty boy. point blank period. “Even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing I need with me.” “Pretty boy, you did this with me boy.” “As long as I got you, I’m gonna be alright.”

Bad idea- girl in reddd... but like imagine them casually hooking up and not knowing their in love tho. also I feel like they would definitely think that their relationship is a “bad idea” bc they’re stupid. “It was a bad idea, to think I could stop, was such a bad idea, I can’t get enough.” “Darling your so pretty it hurts.”

Line without a hook- ICONIC!! dream definitely does not think that he deserves george. “You can hold my hand if no ones home.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” “Oh baby I am a wreck without you.” “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy. She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”

Say you hate me- mega dream smp vibes as of recently. with the whole removing geogre as king. “I guess that your friends where right, from the start when they thought that I was a bad guy.” “Can you just say that you hate me? Or that you will never love me?” “Never meant to make you leave, never meant to make you cry.”

Cherry bomb- reminds me of how dream cheated on fundy with geogre. “I’m too close to crushing, and I’m too close for comfort I’m rushing.” “I ask how shes so mellow, she tells me her shades are in yellow.”

This side of paradise- I mean, like, kinda heatwaves vibes, but also just them. “Ask me why my hearts inside my throat. I’ve never been in love I’ve been alone.” “If you’re lonley come be lonley with me.”

Linger- geogre literally has that boy wrapped around his finger and I can’t not see it in this song. But when you look into it HELLA dream smp vibes, lyrics can be switched for either perspective here. “You know I’m such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger.” “I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong,”

august- i don’t know what is but this song is for them. it just is. “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love, and saying “Us” Cause you weren't mine to lose”

I was an island- i just love the idea of them being hardasses and not thinking they need anyone until the other comes into their life and rocks their world. kinda dream smp vibes “I was a fighter, and I was so brave, but I lowered my sword when you held me and swore you’d stay.” “I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pac But you answered my cries in the dead of the night and told me that you had my back,”

Golden- k this one feeds into the “you’re literally the sun in my sky I’m not worthy” feel “I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken” “I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken” “I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote”

Strong- ummm okay but the “we’re better together” dynamic is them “I’m sorry if I say I need ya, but I don’t care I’m not scared of love.” “when I’m not with you I’m weaker is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.”

Fly out west- the whole, I need to see you, you’re all I think about, stuff gets me. also heatwaves vibe. “Well tell me do you know? You’re all I dream about. Take it from me I’m too dumb to recognize your doubt.”

Cruel summer- them and summer, you dig? “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you.” “I love you and that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Nothings gonna hurt you baby- I put this one on here because of how protective dream is over geogre “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as your with me you’ll be just fine. Nothings gonna hurt you baby, nothings gonna take you from my side.”

Cardigan- young love, the kind of lover that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to them “when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I knew you-“ “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.”

Cry baby- them being in that weird stage where they recognize that it might be more than just senseless flirting and they might have feelings but also being paranoid that they’re the only one with feelings uh- “I can taste it my hearts breaking, please don’t say it. That you know, when you know.” “I know I’ll fall in love with you baby, but that’s not what I wanna do baby.”

Speak now- literally the fundy dream wedding. i rest my case. “I hear the preacher say speak no or forever hold your peace.” “Dont say yes runaway now.”

I love you so- this song is cute on the surface but kinda sad once you look into it. it’s kinda about a codependent love that isn’t going well. “I gotta get away and let you go I gotta get over, but I love you so.” “You were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go.”

In conclusion I’d really appreciate if you could check it out :) <3

[nsaint1]

How can I overcome the guilt of being a bad communicator when im angry? I’ve been told I come off passive aggressive. im just in my head a lot and thinking of a respectful way to react. Other people view it as childish for not communicating my feelings instantly. Its hard for me to know what im feeling and why and i just feel like thats for me to figure out BEFORE I bring an issue to someone. For context i met this guy and I feel like we both moved too fast out of lust. He was going through alot (idk why i always attract ppl at this stage in their life) He lost a family member, and just got out of a relationship. He said the relationship was dead long before it was over but he was still working through things within himself because of it. He said he still felt emotionally available, but i’m realizing now when he still had a lot to work on he was removing the romance aspect of that.. which i didnt understand at the time and asked twice because I felt confused. So I let him know I dont want anything casual/FWB, and he said he didnt either. We’d hang out and he’d be like “we’re on a date” and it felt manipulative once I really started to think about it. Why use that language if we arent actually building on something? After we were intimate with eachother he said “i wouldnt fall in love with me right now. I just dont have the capacity to receive/give love romantically how i normally would” i didnt say anything then because he was being honest and vulnerable but it hurt. I felt manipulated. Probably manipulated myself into thinking something good could come from this. I dont have many experiences with good/honest men. Even though that is the bare minimum.. I wanted to hold on because i felt like i deserved to be loved, but also recognized he cant.. and i just feel like he had just as much responsibility to leave me alone knowing that. I’m also holding myself accountable because so did I. I left something at his house and went to go get it. I was so passive aggressive, told him nothing was wrong, tried to walk away from him after getting my stuff. I thought it would be best to just ghost him. I already caught feelings and it’d hurt too much if he chose to gaslight me to my face. I didnt want to break down in front of him. He called me once i got to my car and cursed at me.. i was so triggered i brought everything i was feeling to his attention in an accusatory way and i feel so much guilt because i feel like maybe if i wasnt so emotional about the situation he would’ve heard me out. I just felt like he could’ve been more sensitive and understanding to how i reacted especially because I previously explained i’ve been through emotionally/sexual abuse. He called me selfish, told me we’re done and its all my fault, and didn’t even acknowledge my explanation for reacting that way. I apologized a few days later once I cooled off but he ignored it, told me if i had more grace he’d have more empathy..and blocked me. Then he went on twitter ranting about “weird women” and it hurt. He knew i would see it. I dont think i’d ever rekindle anything with him. Im not sure if i dodged a bullet or let my anxiety get the best of me. I’m dealing with a lot of guilt for how it ended even though i tried to rectify things, and I think we both could’ve handled eachother better or maybe i am selfish..? Regardless how can I move on from the guilt of how it ended and him in general? Should I block him back?

Hey ♡

anyone cursing at you is a MAJOR red flag. A man who cares about you is going to be patient even when he does not want to be. I almost got dragged into a similar situation like this literally last week. Please assess the situation! If a man just got out of a relationship, they are most likely not going to be looking for anyone serious. They are just looking for someone that they can freely use their body (that is what it is). They will try to lie and manipulate you so that you won't say no or get involved and it is too late.

I was going on a rant about this literally two days ago. These grown men act like they can't communicate and say what they want because they want to try to take advantage, it's pathetic and sad. He manipulated you and decided not to be upfront. "Going through stuff" does not give someone the excuse to treat other people like trash and lie. Nonetheless, It happened and now it's time to move on. At least you know that is not what you want for yourself.

To answer your questions no, you are not being selfish, you don't owe him anything, he misused your trust. There is nothing you can really do with moving on from this, just know that time heals, and every day you will start to care less. If I were you I would block him back like yesterday.

[gayspock]

komaeda

(starts chasing you)

How I feel about this character lets embarass ourselves right off the bat. because you know? you know what? ive got horrifyingly complicated feelings. and its like... jesus god... (shakes head)

i guess its just.... he's just separate entities now, isnt he? IM NOT TRYING TO- you know.... like im not trying to make it all so much more than it is, but it kinda just happens. like- he's sort of become a punchline on this site in particular, whether that be fingers in his ass sunday (good lord, thats rotten to say like that) or a "cursed" "meme" (ACK!) post or whatnot. but then there's also the VERY removed fan interpretation of him, in its mant variations, and that- well... a lot of those versions of him are also fucking loathsome.

but then for me personally. i dont know. i also have multiple different perspectives on him, in of itself. does that make sense?

because jeez, man- LIKE... he genuinely DID mean a lot to me as a younger teen. JOKES aside he was hilariously quite special to me which god bless your fucking soul... when i first interacted with DR, i did quite sincerely obsess over him and obviously. that did sort of... morph over time, then? because- you know how it is.... when you're in a "fandom space", your perceptions will shift and change with it (i do have a ramble about that locked and loaded im specifically going to stop myself from getting into here GOD bless) and i know with himit did become several layers of well im still obsessed, well this is a joke, well this this embarrassing, this that and the other... etc. etc. etc. lalala. i think its fun and cute to do that you know and get yourself all twisted into silly knots that you cant explain to anyone, not even yourself<3

BUT FR. now looking back on it its like.... if i just strip it back. i do still really do like him as a character, yknow? funnily enough. and i do still identify with some aspects of how i felt before but... with a hopefully slightly more mature perspective? LIKE- OKAY... RIGHT. LIKE. I THINK WHAT KIND OF EMBARASSES ME THE MOST is like... his whole little inferiority complex and very particular thought proocesses (DO be quiet...</3) really were things i found a lot of solace in (shut up</3) as a 16 y.o and its like bestie... in many ways im still like god. well yeah. but also its like cmon if we have to be like that does it have to be through fucking komaeda..... because like also obviously, along with my perspective on him, i dont rlly feel the same way abt DR as a whole as i once did. obviously. now im like- HELL im strikingly indifferent to it now. huh. weird. BUT EH.

All the people I ship romantically with this character you know its funny. i dont actually get.... invested-invested in "ships" and dying by particular ones. LIKE- for the most partits like i do LIKE certain dynamics and think theyre fun to entertain but i rarely ever have dedicated a whole lot of my interaction with a certain media to just that with like... the exceptions of j*hnlock when i was 13 and the MUCH later appreciation for spirk (though obviously i love other parts of tos- but they are an actual pairing where im like ok.. sniff sniff yah.. and did have a particular grip on me for a hot sec) AND........................................ komahina.................. which also fucking. yeah. i guess its just a fucking. every 5 years i get something wrong with me. thats actually a very funny regular schedule.

i dont think i do seriously commit to anything else, though. i liked the ot3 with them and nanami but i dont know how i feel about komaeda/nanami or if its just hinata has TWO hands. i really havent revisited SDR2 recently enough to properly assess that but my inclination is still a "uhhh, idk..." bc i do v much see komaeda as a gay man. im not opposed to some naegi/komaeda sentiments but i also dont rlly take that aboard more than like a passing haha sure moment rather than any proper exploration of it.

My non-romantic OTP for this character hmm... not sure! i think i need to revisit for some more specific interactions bc hell its been a LONG time since i replayed sdr2... but even then. i think any "brotp" type pairings WOULD be very much in the realm of hypothetical headcanoning - bc you know... HELP. he isnt offered much in the text. i think ive always liked the idea of like... komaeda being friends with anyone else from his class if he had the proper chance. and i think, like as i said above, with him, hinata and nanami if they WERE together it'd obviously be with him and nanami being besties but i guess thats also hard to asses with so much distance from the damn thing

My unpopular opinion about this character hhow.... hhoow. i think. chrit. I DONT KNOW HOW YOU KNOW. unpopular..... i think the interpretations of komaeda can be so fucking insane to the wall yet somehow so rampant that its literally so hard for me to say sth does tha tmake any sense.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon i wish he wasnt in danganronpa. i wish none of the cast of the first two games were in danganronpa. i wish dr3 was better despite the fact i had a lot of fun on this blog in 2016. i wish i wish i wish upon stars but ultimately its fine if none of it comes true ive made my peace <3

[legionofpotatoes]

we decided to watch all story cutscenes from the new resident evil village videogame on a whim, since it’s not really our cup of tea gameplay-wise but seems to be this massive zeitgeist moment that made us morbidly curious. And I know how much everyone cares about my thoughts on things I know very little about, so. let’s get into it huh gamers. and yeah spoilers?

for context, I’ve only played resident evil 4 and a small portion of 5. I also read the wikipedia entry for 7’s plot recently. all this to say I was only vaguely aware of how tonally wacky the series was going in

I also completely gave up following the plot of the mutagens’ soap opera, so that paid off in spades here as you might imagine

anyway so that baby in the intro. that baby’s head is just massive. humongous toddlerdome. when ethan finds the baby’s head in a jar later on. there is no way that head would fit into that jar. bad game design. no not even game design. basic stuff. one hundred years in prison for jar modeler

if I see a single functional hetero marriage in video games I will cry tears of joy. I understand their misery is kind of The Point irt them badly working through the hillbilly romp trauma but like. sheesh. at least set that up as an emotional story goal the plot will help resolve. but nope they start off miserable and it goes nowhere

I know I know the mia thing has a huge wrinkle in it but like. not really in terms of dramatic function?? set up a happy end to the re7 nightmare (miranda can keep up appearances for all she cares) and then take that all away from angry griffin mcelroy for manpain. it will still absolutely work to set up the dramatic forward momentum. why throw in this cliche Hollywood Tension in their marriage if you’re not going to address it oh maybe because it’s normalized as automatically interesting because nuclear families are a self-propagating pit of a very narrow chance at emotional happiness relying on social stigma to preserve their empty function oops my baggage slipped in yikes abort mission

I called him griffin mcelroy because I saw his face on twitter and. yeah. I will continue to do this occasionally. my house my rules

... fuck the reason I’m hung up on this is specifically because the rest of the game is so tonally dexterous (which is a shining point to me! more on that later!), and yet they felt weirdly compelled to create the aesthetic trapping of a family-at-odds trope without following it through too well. a sign of both the good and the bad stuff to come

but listen the real reason why I wanted to talk about any of this is to nitpick the fascinating backwards-engineered nucleus of the entire thing; in that this game essentially creates a melting pot of just SO many disparate horror tropes and then makes a no-holds-barred unhinged effort at weaving thick lore to piece them all together. it is truly a sight to behold. like straight up you got your backwoods fright night situation, your gothic castle vampires, your rural-industrial werewolves, and don’t forget your bloated swamp monsters over there, with then a hard left turn into robotic body horror, and the entire ass subgenre of Creepy Doll writ large, and the bloodborne tentacle monsters, and a hellboy angel bossfight, which rides on the coattails of a mech-on-mech pacific rim bonanza, and just jesus henry christ slow down

almost all of these are textural hijack jobs that don’t really get into the metaphor plain of any of those settings but the game sort-of makes an argument that the texture IS the point and revels in it. It is kind of admirable almost. The same reason why the intro felt boxed in and unmotivated is also why the rest of the game just blasts off of its hinges to the point of complete and self-indulgent tonal abandon. I kinda loved that about it. lady dimitrescu made sure to hold her hat down as she bent forward in mahogany doorways and then suddenly she’s a giant gore dragon and you settle in your temp role as dark souls man with Gun to take her ass down. Excellent??

this rhino rampage impulse to gobble up every horror aesthetic known to man comes to head when the game wrestles with its FPS trappings in what is the most hilarious solution in creating visceral player damage moments. Since most cinematics and the entire game is in first person, that leaves precious little real estate for the devs to work with if they really want to sell griffin’s physical crucible. To wit. This dude’s forearms. Specifically just the forearms. They are MASSACRED throughout the story. The poor man lives out the silent hill dimension of a hand model. by the end cutscene he looks like a neatly dressed desk clerk who had decided to stick both his grabbers into garbage disposal grinders just a few hours prior. like in addition to everything else it manages to rope in that tinge of slapstick violence into its general grievous genre collection except this time it IS for a lack of trying! truly incredible

but wait his miracle clawbacks from everything his poor paws go through are retroactively explained away, yes, but far too vaguely and far too late to console me as I sat and watched everyone’s favorite baby brother reattach an entirely severed hand to his wrist stump by just. placing it on there. and giving it a lil twist ‘n pop terminator-style. and then willing his fingers back into motion right in front of my bulging eyes. this game just does not care. it does not give a shit. and boy howdy will it work to make that into one of its strongest suits

cause generally speaking resident evil was THE premiere vanilla zombie content destinaysh for like a decade, right? and as the rest of the world and mainstream media started encroaching and bloodying its blue ocean it went and just exploded in every single conceivable horror trope direction like a smilodon on catnip. truly, genuinely fascinating franchise moves

yeah the big vampire milf is hot. other news; grass... green. although I do love the implication that her closet is just identical white dresses on a rack. cartoon network-level queen shit

apropos of nothing I’ve said there’s also this hobo dante-devimaycry-magneto man, and I can’t believe this sentence makes sense. anyway he made that “boulder-punching asshole” joke referring to chris redfield and it was probably the only easter egg that really landed for me and boy did it land hard. I have not seen him punch the boulder in re5, mind. I had only heard about how funny it is from friends. and here this dude was, probably in the same exact mindset as me, trying to grapple with that insane mental image. with you on that ian mckellen, loud and clear

I advocate vehemently against the shallow pursuit of hyper photorealism in art direction but I gotta admit it works really in favor of immersive horror like this. the european village shacks especially gave me super unchill flashbacks to my rural countryside retreat in western georgia. I could smell the linoleum dude. not cool

faces are weird in this game. can’t place it. nice textures, good animation, but the modeling template is... uuh strange? and the hair. it has that clustered-flat-clumpy look that harkens to something very specific and unpleasant but I just don’t know what. sue me

griffin’s mental aptitude to take all this shit in stride and end every seemingly traumatizing bossfight involving some fucking eldritch being yet unseen through mortal eyes by essentially throwing out an MCU quip is just. What the fuck dude? I mean that was funny how you casually yelled the f-word at a god damn werewolf that you considered a fairy tale an hour ago but are you like, all right?? it was swinging a sledgehammer the size of a bus at you, ethan

oh oh the vampires are afraid of cold and your last name is winters. I get it haha

Pro Gamer Nitpick: boss fights seemed a bit unnecessarily long?? idk why the youtuber we picked decided the ENTIRE propeller man fight counted towards the vital story scenes he was stitching together, but man mr big daddy lite there really had some get up and go huh??

why are they saying dimitrescu.. like that. is it really how you say that word or is the english language relapsing into its fetish for ending every single word with a consonant at all costs

I’m not saying it’s a dramatic miss of a twist in context of all that’s going on, but the “you died in the last game actually and have been DC’s clayface ever since” revelation is low-key. it’s. it’s just funny to me, I dont know what to say. century-old god-witch fails her evil plan after she mistakenly removes heart from what was definitely NOT just some white guy with eight fingers after all

chris realizing he’s about to become the player character and immediately swapping out his tsundere trenchcoat for the muscletight sex haver sweater

the little bluetooth speaker-sized pipe bomb he taped to his knife was nuclear?? really??? I must have missed something because that is just too good. I buy it though I totally buy it. chris just got them fun-sized nukes in his car trunk for, you guessed it, Situations

anyway this is all for now just wanted to briefly touch on how unexpectedly funny and tonally irreverent this seemingly serious game turned out to be. did not articulate any cathartic story beats whatsoever but my god it had fun connecting those plot points. he just fucking put his severed hand back on his stump and it Just Worked todd howard get in here

[juni-ravenhall]

reactions (mild spoilers!) on sso comic song of darkness

bc i read it before bed. this is a mix of random reactions + commentary/criticism. no pics sry! under cut bc spoilers, but i dont spoil the story itself, just some content -

- the pages at the intro with character information for some reason made me feel really nostalgic and happy, like, “wow this is a real comic” idk its hard to explain. it reminded me of reading stuff like W.I.T.C.H. as a kid (ive read a billion comics in my life but i compare to this bc its closer in general vibe) 

- anyway wow sso comics. on paper. wow (yeah i have clouds over silverglade but that was a while ago)

- hhehehehehhe south hoofers and raptor in the bg!!!!!! after this panel i kept looking at the bgs for other cameos kjhdsfg

- i can tell the swedish translation is... a bit... meh. like, yeah this is standard, especially today’s standard, but it could be smoother and more natural, which would make it more fun to read (and supportive of the language in the country where sso was made like? idk...)

- AVALON?? U HAVE A FACE??? he looks way more like evergray than i’d have thought though, youd have imagined he wouldnt want to style himself similar to him lol

- its a bit depressing how even tho this comic tries to express everyone’s personalities, lisa still barely feels like she has a personality. she can sing! ok... and... we’re wating... what else? (there are plenty of “boring” people irl, but in media you usually want to exaggerrate or simplify things a little bit) the current lisa seems like she could have more anxiety/depression in her narrative, the old lisa looked like she was tough in a different way than alex, both of those are things that could be pushed. or anything else. 

- my only like, “art related criticism”, also relates to the above - i think more work could be done in using individually unique expressions. im generally not a person who agrees with the idea of “same face syndrome” (often its a stylistic choice which is fair) but i think here it could be a good idea to work a bit more with various expressions - you can have charas who would almost never make huge shocked eyes for personality reasons, charas who always have a very obvious expression (alex does have this a lot in this comic!), charas who always look annoyed or frustrated or scared alongside whatever new emotion they get, etc. just very simplified description bc im already rambling. but basically, letting all charas emote in a similar way also removes layers of personality expression. 

- it’s cool that kora is in here!! love to see many known charas!! not rly interested in random new charas since sso already has a ton to work with 

- was a bit surprised when they said “mistfall, so youre a long way from home?” to kora when they.. were riding to firgrove from valedale? i could have understood this if they were in like epona or golden hills.. but firgrove?? shes specifically not a long way from home? confused

- i do like that the horses’ personalities get expressed, altho it does feel a bit shoved in, it’s still nice to see them. many of us are here bc of loving horses after all, and this comic delivers in featuring them a lot, even if they dont talk. i get that theres a level of “explaining everything to newbies” in this whole comic, even though i could wish that wouldve been done less blatantly. (kids arent dumb!) 

- i do kinda wish the overall story hadn’t been a standalone random thing but something more tied to what we have, exploring parts of the story & charas in sso in more detail, BUT, i think thats a valid direction to go with comics and its more just a personal preference for me. i would anytime take more sso comics that are standalone random stuff than to not have sso comics at all. 

- it seems like the reason concorde is an alive adult in this comic, is bc its an AU where concorde “almost died” but didnt, if i understood it right (they just said “she almost lost concorde”). i think thats a bit weird BUT valid, its ok to have differences in canon between different media of the same story, it tends to be like that between books and movies for example. however personally i wouldve preferred to see comics that explore, for example, the 2 years (?) between SSL and SSO, or each soul rider’s life history in general until now, or exploring in more depth events that happen in the main storyline (in sso or ssl which counts as backstory to sso)

- there were times i committed small giggle during this comic even as an adult man, tho arguably a childish adult man, but just to say that it was enjoyable, and overall i thought it was really exciting and fun to read a full sso comic book, and i hope to see a lot more (even if i’d prefer stuff like what i described - more exploration of existing story/charas). like i said at the beginning, i also got good nostalgic feels etc. i feel a bit sad now that its “over”, i wish i could have a whole pile of volumes to read for the rest of the summer. 

(when i criticise something, it means i care enough about it to criticise it! i tend to criticise stuff i love - aka sso - way more than stuff i have no interest in or dislike, which i just dont talk about much bc that would be a waste of time.) 

[knullanon]

So if it's not to much to ask can I get yan platonic ra's, Talia, and still in the league of assassin's damian #56.

# my beloved as well

-🌹

at first when i saw the song i did not get vibes at all but then i listened to it and i was like bro i got an idea. thank u. also these are still open so if yall got anything to send in... pls do im bored. this is literally making me write more than i ever have written. idk why it just does.

xanny - billie eilish

you really hated the smell of smoke. you didn’t know why- you never knew anyone who smoked, you never had any bad experiences with it, but you just hated the smell. you never knew why but it just irritated you to no end. 

anyway, that wasn’t why you were here in the strange part of your town. you were here to hang out with your new friend, damian, he had said his name was. funny enough, he used to hate you, and actually tried to attack you when you both first met. he thought you were another smoker in the area. 

however, he soon found out you were running from some school bully. you were a teenager, and yet, your short ass couldn’t do shit to a 6″ tall guy. which is why damian scared him off, by kicking in his teeth. you saw the damage the next day at school: he wasn’t gonna bother you again.

and that’s how your friendship started.

at first, it was rocky. he only saw you every other day, and it was usually a very cold interaction every time. and then you brought him some leftover food. and he scarfed it down. for a guy with the moves of an assassin, he really was thin. when you asked, he simply said he didn’t have enough money to get food. so, every time you met, you would give him food. 

he was almost grateful every time as well. then he started to get closer, and closer, and well, that’s how you ended up keeping a secret about him murdering some random guy.

of course, you hadn’t meant to see him do it, you were just too early. way too early. you had wanted to surprise him at the top of the building where the two of you met, and so you had gone and spent your money to get a batch of those really good pastries and little snacks from the liquor store. as you were walking past the stairs, you had to cover your nose from the open dumpster that you usually passed. it smelled worse than usual.

which is... strange. usually it was closed. damian said the people living around the area hated it when it was open, which was understandable. and then, while you were walking past it, you had the sudden feeling to get out of the way. so you quickened your steps.

only to hear something crunch right to the ground.

when you looked down, you saw blood running away from you, from the back of your heels to your toes. and it was still flowing. turning around, you saw a dead man that had seemingly fallen from the sky. you looked up only to see-

is that fucking damian?

you didn’t even try to see whatever else was there, you just kept on running. unfortunately, you didn’t see how much blood had gotten onto your shoes. bloody footprints weren’t easy to clean, of course, but they were extremely easy to track.

~~~~

you didn’t stop until you got home. fortunately, your things were in your backpack since you had brought more than usual. looking into the living room, you saw alcohol and beer bottles strewn about in the living room.

at least they didn’t hear you coming home.

you walked up to your room and closed the door quietly before beginning to remove your coat. you tried to think that what you saw was just a joke, was just something your mind made up out of paranoia, and for a minute, you thought it was true.

and then you took off your shoes. still bloody.

fuck.

you slowly turned to look at the ground, and fortunately, there wasn’t any blood. it must’ve all gotten on the sidewalk-

oh wait. the dead man falling from the roof actually happened. 

and was it really damian who threw it?

you weren’t feeling as good as you thought you would be.

you stopped thinking when you heard you phone chime. oh shit, damian!

you rushed over and opened the text only to see that yes, it was damian who had texted you

Hey, I’ve been waiting for a while for you here. Where are you?

well now you really feel like a piece of shit. stupid paranoia. making you ruin your friendships.

omg im so sorry!! its just been a long day, and i forgot to tell you im not feeling too well. i dont think i’ll be able to make it.

while you did feel like a shithead for doing this, you really didn’t want to have to explain why you didn’t feel ok going outside. and the blood on your shoes did not help anything.

Are you ok? Do you need me to come over?

you were about to say ok, but then you remembered your parents were downstairs. not a good thing to have with friends over.

i wish. my parents are downstairs and they aren’t welcoming of guests, and ur also a boy. no offense, but i would get my ass handed to me.

you were about to shut off your phone when the door started to knock. getting up off your bed, you wandered over to see who it was, since your parents definitely weren’t the kinds of people you wanted to see standing at the door, when you heard the door bust down.

“_____, what the fuck are you doing-”

nothing else made you want to jump outside the window and run. however, you saw damian already in your room. 

“damian! what the fuck, dude!”

you tried to rush to the window, but he blocked your escape. “dude, what are you doing? we have to go!”

he shifted uncomfortably, and said, “sorry, _____, but both my grandfather and my mother wanted to meet you.”

“I- bitch, you have parents?!” turning around, you saw a tall man in your doorway. he almost reached the top of it.

he gave a small nod, to you or Damian you didn’t know. “Hello, _____ I have been told much about you.”

There was a woman standing behind him, and suddenly she walked towards you with something in her hand.

“We hope you will like your new home.”

[urmomification]

dnf royalty!au bc i am a weak weak man

GUYS IM SO SORRY FOR THIS ONE

royalty au where george and dream are royals in opposing kingdoms and george isssss like idk 27-29 and dream is 21-23 but george's dad died when he was likeeeee 16 or 17 so hes been king since then and dream is still prince in his own kingdom but his father is old but georges father and dreams father didnt get along when georges father was still alive and dreams father insists on carrying out the rivalry that they had even though george literally paid him to shut him up, theyve been at war for years, close to a decade, (both families squabbling for more. both families have had issues for generations) w georges kingdom not losing much but dreams losing men, money, food and other resources bc his dad was a selfish ruler. at some point famine takes over dreams kingdom and george offers the king enough food to feed his whole kingdom for the winter in exchange for the kings only heir and the end of the war ('i will give you enough food to feed your whole country for one winter if you remove all your men from the battlefields and leave your only heir under my care, promise me the end of your bloodlines rule and i will make sure you live through the winter') (dreams dad struggled w having kids so losing his only heir would be a big deal) dreams dad never let him leave the castle often so he doesnt fully understand the state of his country but he understands that this war has wrecked their country and theyre on the brink of collapse so he willingly goes w george (''''''willingly'''''' meaning he gave himself up despite his fathers protests w the plan of sneaking back somehow) so george provides food for dreams country and dream follows george and basically lives by his side at all times??? idk what role this would be called but ykkkkk basically dream follows him around as george just runs his country and hes a cold a mericless ruler making all the decisions needed to make his country profit but he always makes sure to ensure the benefit of his people the people always work together and hes built shelters for the homeless and makes sure theres open opportunities for trading w other kingdoms and plenty of farms/food so they never suffer from famine and implemented a strong education system so everyone has a chance to excel in something. dream doesnt know much abt his own country bc his tutors and family always implied that their country was the best based solely on how well the upper class citizens were doing while there was a high homelessness rate and such, so dream always assumed 'if we're doing well everyone else should be doing just as well right?' bc he never knew any better but george got him a reliable tutor (techno, who also happened to be a war general/soldier whos a tutor while hes not deployed) and has people teach him to fight/defend himself (punz and sapnap bc i said so) and teach him how to be a strong respected ruler without being selfish and bigoted. when he first arrived in georges country he expected to be locked up and even potentially tortured bc hes the son of a king and bloodline who this country has been fighting w for generations but the people dont mind, hes given a good room and treated like royalty BC HE IS george only took him to his country to ensure the ending of dreams bloodline, not to make him miserable. also i take it back george isnt a 'cold and mericless ruler' hes just distant at first but dream sees him w his people and hes smiley and nice and open and charismatic and everyone loves him AND HES CONFUSED hes v distant w dream, not necessarily cold or anything more jsut hesitant? if that makes sense he really has no reason to be but he is and only around dream but eventually george takes him travelling to the peaceful parts of the kingdom, tutors him personally on specific topics (busy man doesnt have time for tutoring him all the time LOL) and teaches him to properly rule a country while still having the respect of ur people and having them like you to the point of wanting to help the country progress and perform well. dream sees this and wonders why his father never did this and george goes

on to explain bc his father was a 'greedy and corrupt leader in all honesty, im shocked he raised a kid as honest as urself' and dream talks abt how well his dad treated him and such and how he lost his mom young and how his dad was all he had and he really only showed dream his good side and really did try his hardest to be there for dream his whole life despite being a relatively distant father and george FINALLY OPENS UP TO HIM ABT HIS CHILDHOOD AND HOW HIS MOTHER WAS ACTUALLY KILLED MY MERCENARIES SENT BY DREAMS DAD WHEN GEORGE WAS 9 OR SUMN AND LOST HIS DAD ATTTT IDK FUCKIN 16 (mind u george only started tutoring dream after like 6 months of having him bc,,, distant) and dream apologizes profusely but george shuts him down bc 'its not ur fault its ur fathers, i dont mean to beat the dead horse but ur father isnt the man he showed u he is, i lost both of my parents to him so i took the thing he cares about most to get a way of subtle revenge, if that makes sense, i dont have to kill you to make him hurt' or sumn and dream realizes that george Hurts he lost both of his parents AS A KID to HIS FATHER he was forced into the throne at 16 bc no one else was responsible enough to do so and has been running the most successful kingdom in the area for over a decade while fighting a war w one hand and building a powerhouse of a country w the other, he managed to become the most responsible ruler before the age of 25, he gave up his childhood for the sake of his country and it shows hes a composed man, never taking time for himself and working himself to the bone having to put of w dreams fathers selfishness since the day he was brought to the throne

'ur father demanded gold for something my father had 'owed him', so i gave him gold. he father demanded food to repay a debt he made up, so i gave him food to silence him. he demanded a war as revenge on my ancestors so i killed his men. i killed and i killed and i killed until ur country couldnt take one more death, until one more life lost would cripple ur country beyond repair and forced him to beg me for resources and in exchange i got you. the single thing the would never give up and yet u gave yourself up bc u knew it was what was bet for your country, your people. youre nothing like your father dream and im sad ill never get to see you rule your own country' and dream just buries his head in his hands and puts his head on the table and just 'god george im so sorry and b4 u say its not my fault i know its not my fault my oblivion to everything that was happening my whole life everything happening to you, lead to so much suffering if i had just' 'dream its not your fault-' 'i know! i know its not but if i had just known-' 'dream. ur father kept u from knowing so u couldnt see what he was doing. there was nothing u could do. dont blame urself for what ur father did. ur his son but ur not him. im a terrible judge of character but i can see that much.' and dream stands up and hugs him over the table (this is the first time theyve ever gone out the way to touch each other in any way ft. v v v v v v v v touchstarved george x physically affectionate dream) and dream buries his head in georges neck and says 'i know its not my fault but that doesnt mean i cant say sorry for those who wont' and george just sits there and eventually just awkwardly pats the back of dreams head and they never talk abt it again