#idk i just think hed be hit when hes angry

[mariatesstruther]

kinda wanna write a fic where maria does something stupidly dangerous and tommy gets 😌mad😌

[josecariohca]

hi again! hope you're in good health! your answer to the pirate au gave me life, if you ever wanna share more/info-dump about it I'll be happy to take a seat and listen. Since we have similar brain worms about them and it seems you've been on the spamano block even longer than I have I was wondering if you have any fic recs for them? (side note do you have an ao3?) or just any type of rec for spamano at all?

hi again!!! you must have the patience of a saint for waiting so long, but yes hello i am here and i have been DYING to answer your ask and once again i stuck it under a read more bc what is concise wording??? idk her shes not here we only ramble here! warnings for excessive over-explanation and the obsessive thoughts of someone who has been in this stupid fandom for way, way too long.

i also wanted to address the super sweet notes you wrote on your original ask that had me smiling like an absolute fool, btw!!!! so first off: THANK YOU AND IM SO GLAD YOU AGREE!!!!! listen, the canon dynamic between these two has always given me a very severe case of brain rot, and the ways in which that dynamic can be removed from canon and smacked into any au is just soooooo juicy. and while yes i do adore airhead spain with all my heart, i do see it as very reductive to his character and who he actually is. and this also kinda bleeds into answering this ask, so yay! two birds one stone!

my entire thing with these two is the fact that spain is, at his core, an empire. god, gold, glory. that was his whole thing, ruthlessly so. and while yes i do believe the nations dont personify their governments and instead represent the best of their people, it would be foolish to ignore what it means for spain (and antonio) to be the spanish empire, bloody, greedy, damned, troubled, all of it. and that bleeds a lot into how i imagine antonio to be!

antonio (and spain) will always carry a lot of guilt to me. he acts sweet and bubble and sunshiny, and i do think he genuinely is that way naturally, but a lot of it is also an attempt to distance himself from what he used to be, either from guilt, from wanting others to forget, or for whatever reason. who he is in current day is not who he was, but its still there and it is something he grapples with constantly. so, in the vein of my pirate au, antonio as a pirate is someone who is angry.

hes angry at the world, hes angry at his government, hes angry at the state of life for anyone who isnt wealthy and born into generational status, hes angry at the favoritism, at the restrictions, at everything. hes someone who wants freedom. spain as a character doesnt like to be restrained, hated his forced job of folding flowers, hated he couldnt do more when he was once so powerful (to the point where america even said anytime spain was near him hed try and hit him with his knees, so clearly he knows how to hold a grudge) and antonio would feel a lot of resentment to the state of the world as it exists around him but unable to change it—until he can

and lovino, who is angry but for so many other reasons. lovino, who is born into a gilded cage that he cant even touch, lovino, whose entire life was built around his younger (legitimate) brother who will one day inherit everything his grandfather passes on that lovino cannot have, even if they do love him, even if they do cherish him and give him an education and steady work and a comfortable life. but thats not enough, and why would it be? his name is worthless in this society. he barely exists outside of his small family, and whenever he's there, there is always the elephant in the room of none of this is mine, none of this will ever be mine. so yes hes angry, hes resentful, but hes also stuck. where can he go, realistically, when this is all hes ever known? and he loves his family. hes loyal, hes caring, he adores his family. he just also resents them because they are everything he can never be. (and i do throw seborga into the brothers. they are a trio to me and they always will be!)

so when they meet, when antonio sees this little angry brat with so much pent up aggression start barking insults at him in front of his own crew, how can he not be fascinated by that? and he sees someone wearing a shiny family crest of a prominent venetian family, and its so easy to him. take him, maybe teach him some respect, dump him in italy, get some money, and fuck off to the ocean again for the next prize.

and it would work if they both werent so fucking stupid at the same time. bc just like romano and spain, these two are two sides of the same dumb ass spectrum. angry and hopeful with different styles of attachment that fit just perfectly enough to make it feel clandestine. two people who could just so happen to understand where the other is coming from, with enough understanding to get it. and suddenly theyre not so different after all, are they, considering they both got screwed over in life, forced into roles they didnt want until someone gave them an out, until they give each other an out.

and then it becomes a lot less about stealing from the world and keeping it for themselves as it is giving each other the world, wealth and riches that belong to them and them alone, an open ear and willing hands and the understanding that antonio would rip the stars from the sky and temper raging oceans for lovino if he asked, hoping only for lovino to love him in return and choose to stay, to seek freedom and something different.

its entirely selfish and dangerous and doomed to fail from the start, which we as people in 2024 know, but its romantic in its desperation and honest in how actual real life pirates were furious with their lives and were entirely fucked over after the war of spanish succession, and while yes most of those pirates were english (and arthur is a big player in this story too, obvi), spain did have its fair share, esp in retaliation to what the english were doing to spanish treasure ships.

WOW that was a lot im so sorry for how long that is. i hope it is in some way understandable and not just rambling jibberish fghjkjh as for fic recs!!! babe how much time to do you bc i have like. thousands. ill start with my favorite few though, and maybe youll find something you like in them!

some are long, some are short, some are not as much romantic as they are doomed and haunted, and some are nauseatingly sweet, but its a range of stuff. let me know what you like and im sure i can tailor these more to your tastes!

in no particular order, some of my all time favs:

those who loved us all along by aalesundbren

the problem with being known by baybetime

the bocca della verità duology by nyoengland

ravish by ludwiggle73 (spamano isnt the main pair, its second to fruk, but its a good fic nonetheless)

underneath the gilded lights by kai_maciel (spamano is a very small part of this, its mainly centered around latam and portugal, but the parts they do have are cute and i love how spain is characterized. it has a second part with a few other spamano bits, if youre interested)

anything that champagnesly has ever written about spamano. one of my all time favorite authors, even if they havent been in the fandom in a very long time. their wine verse is a personal fav and i read it when i was younger and i still go back to read it now. same for oblivion, the blue hours, and tbh anything else spamano theyve ever written

we are all businessmen by soliloquium

tesoro mio by (they orphaned the fic, i do know who the author is but since its orphaned idk if they want me to say their name???? either way, great fic!)

more than attraction by whitetyger12

and finally, anything mareepysheepy has ever written for spamano, with a particular shout out to give and take

okay, thats all ill do for now. i have so many fic recs that ive accumulated over the years for this pairing, but hopefully you find something somewhere in this mess that you end up enjoying. sorry again for the wait and i hope this made up for it!!!!

you are a delight to my day and THANK YOU for allowing me to ramble endlessly about my stupid pirates

[taegyuun]

enhypen being broken up with

genre: angst

word count: 730+

pairing: enhypen x reader

requested? yes

note: i’m pretty bad at angst only bc i don’t write it often so this is a pretty good practice but it’s not gonna be great sorry ! this is kinda repetitive but that’s only bc i think all of these boys react similarly in terms of why you’d be breaking up with them yknow

♡ — LEE HEESEUNG

oof

wouldn’t believe you at first

looks at you with such h u r t in his eyes

he’d be like “i’m sorry what?”

probably tears up :/

hed just stand there questioning everything hes ever done and trying to figure out a reason why you wouldn’t want to be with him anymore

the only thing he could think of was his idol career but you always said you understood him and how he couldn’t always be there

baby would be so broken

rest of the boys under the cut !

♡ — JAY PARK

deadass thought you were playing a joke on him at first

he’d be like “baby don’t play with these jokes y’know i don’t like them” but his heart would be beating slightly faster and hed have a nervous smile on his face trying to laugh it off

but then he’d look up and see you fiddling with your hands trying not to look at him he’d realise you were being serious

same with heeseung hes question whats hes done but instead of thinking he’d voice it out

he’d be holding tears back for sure

he’d probably do one of those angry like laugh huff things? idk how to explain it if you didn’t have a good enough reason to break up with him

♡ — JAKE SIM

oh god-

please god no this baby would be so so so heart broken

you never play jokes like this on him bc he’s just too ‘sensitive’ for it and hed take it to heart

so he wouldn’t react like jay or smth

he’d start crying for sure

probably begs you to stay with him too :((

you’d definitely start crying too i mean how can you not when the most precious boy is having his heart broken by the person that means everything to him :/

post break up he probably wouldn’t be able to really interact with you bc it just hurts too much even if he wanted to

♡ — PARK SUNGHOON

blank look

hes trying to process what you’re telling him

he definitely wouldn’t believe you at first

i mean why should he-

you two had a perfect relationship

definitely wouldn’t let you leave without you giving him a good reason and explanation as to what the hell this was all about and if it was smth he did or just you

he wouldn’t show visibly how he felt but omg on the inside he was so so hurt

the type not to leave his room at all

probably didn’t end off on a good note :/

♡ — KIM SUNOO

i cant imagine why you’d break up with him 😐

he’d be so so upset

he’d listen to everything you had to say and silently nod along realising why you chose what you chose

he’d be holding his sleeve up to his mouth while resting his elbow on his other arm y’know what i mean and he’d just cover his mouth while tears streamed down his face :(

ends on a really good note tho

he hugs you and what not and you both stay friends !

but it definitely took him a while to get over you and act normal

♡ — YANG JUNGWON

oof pt. 2

he’d be very understanding but so so broken at the same time :/

like he understands your reasonings but at the same time he really don’t want to believe what you had to say

he’d definitely listen very well to why you decided upon your decision and it was very clear that even after your break up he was still very in love with you

with jungwon i feel like he doesn’t really let himself fall in love so when he does it hits really hard

and even after you two stayed friends everyone could see how badly he wanted to get back together

♡ — NISHIMURA RIKI

baby is so confused :(

WHY !!!! JUST WHY !!!!

hes be so confused and have this pout on his face :/

idk about riki he almost confuses me bc i feel like he’d only get in a relationship if he REALLY liked the person but at the same time i feel like if he or you broke up with him he wouldn’t be that upset?

maybe it’s bc of the age but

he’d still be hurt but out of all of them he’d definitely be the most normal and stay friends with you after the break up

y’know

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

[nitroish]

red, blue and green can see the minish, while vio can't. if co-fronting with one of the others, he can, but if they shrink as a whole, he'll be kept from the front/consciousness [basically he'll just pass out], and he can't when he's the main one fronting. he doesn't know if he couldn't from the moment they drew the sword and split, or if he lost the ability somewhere along the way, but whatever it was he can't see them now. it makes him sad, yeah, but at least he can see them sometimes, with the others. green knows his time is limited, he knows he won't stay a child forever, he knows someday something's going to push that innocence over the edge and not even the magical connection they have with the minish will be able to stop it, and he'll look to the grass and an entire world will be lost to him, and that thought terrifies him. it hasn't really donned on blue. he doesn't consider himself to be childish or innocent anyway, if he was gonna lose the ability he would've already. maybe he's just special, and he'll just continue to have the ability for life! they are heroes to the minish, after all! it'd make sense! he teases vio about not being able to see them sometimes. it doesnt seem to bother him too much- for the most part. red is...purposefully ignoring that thought. for now he's going to just enjoy whatever time he has! no use fretting over something that hasn't happened yet! they've got plenty of time, and blue's right, they are kinda special after all! worrying about something that might not even happen won't do any good!

anonymous asked: oh a note i felt was necessary to add to one of my previous asks [the one about the minish] because i thought of this and it was bothering me, i realize that "he teases vio about not being able to see them sometimes. it doesnt seem to bother him too much- for the most part." could come off as blue being an asshole and purposefully making fun of stuff people are sensitive about, and that's not really what i was going for. it's more meant to be "blue tends to make fun of people as a way of joking around, but isn't aiming to upset anyone genuinely and will try to avoid doing so if he thinks it'll hurt anyone [though he sometimes doesn't realize something will be hurtful until it's too late, and when that happens, has a habit of being defensive rather than apologetic because it's sort of human instinct to make ourselves look good, and he tends to deflect anger outwards to avoid feeling guilty]", if that makes sense. he's not trying to make jokes at other people's expense.

hope u dont mind i put these two together like this!! im gonna answer under a readmore so it doesnt take up a ton of room and i dont annoy ppl KJFGJHFD

I TOTALLY GOT WHAT U MEANT THO i understand blue isnt rly Just A Fucking Dick kind of character! i totally get what u mean. op all these thoughts make me so so fuckin happy i . love these. i love four swords so fucking much.

im glad vio still gets to see the minish sometimes when hes co-con !! at least he has that, thts nice? "hes sad but at least he can see them when the others are fronting" Exactly is my thought on it sjghfdg hed just be kinda glad he was able to see them sometimes at all? its better than never kinda thing, ykno??

blue is straight up vibin and sometimes to take a hit you need to joke a bit ohh that rhymed KJFSHGKJDHFG. green has so many thoughts about everything i hope he takes a break soon jdsghdkjfhgd hes so busy in his head and i love him for it but i can hear the gears turning.

god i love blue. i 100% get blue and hes really valid and youre RIGHT. blue is just? hes not a straight up dick and people that depict him as such are ~ wrong ~. thats not what hes trying to go for? when hes talking and joking to people some of his jokes just land wrong/hit too hard or close to home but it isnt like he. purposely did it knowing it would hurt op. he doesnt plan on the other persons downfall when he says shit. and u r so right?? defensiveness comes from the fact its hard to just accept that it was hurtful when he had good intentions and meant for it to be a joke? "it was just a joke" but its genuine and not "i knew what i was saying was gonna hurt u and im gonna say it was just a joke to fuck w u"? KJFHGKJHFD IDK IF THAT MADE SENSE BUT I HOPE SO. he did not mean to and <3 guilt is a gross emotion (is angry instead)

the colours my beloveds. i fucking love them. four swords is one of my favourites,,,,

[highstwildflower]

Hey :) can you write a small oneshot of Ash being bffs with you and ure working two jobs but refuse to accept his help amd ur also in love with him but dont think hed ever like u back but idk one day he forces u to accept help and also somehow tells u that he loves u and idk u can make out of this what u want, or nothing at all😅 i just thought its a cute idea and yea🙈😅

The one

A/n: thank you for the request! I’m having major writers block, so I hope this is ok! I really like the idea it’s super cute🤍

Words: 1376

"Y/n im hereeee!" His loud voice bounced through your apartment and you screw your eyes shut and mentally scolded yourself. With quick feet you walked towards him, his white tee was tight over his strong torso, the man bun resting at the nap of his neck made you feel weak. "I'm so so sorry Ash I doubled booked, I have to be at work in 20" you shot him your best smile and sorrowful eyes. The groan that left his lips made you feel even worse for wasting his time "I'm really sorry I am! I really need the money, I'm struggling with paying for University" the second the words left your lips you regretted it. His tan hands reached for your shoulders and he gently shook you "hello dummy I'm here to help you!? That is what best friends are for y/n. You don't have to work two jobs, I literally have too much money, let me help you" you had been here before, Ashton wanted to help you and he really didn't see the problem. You on the other hand was not so keen on borrowing money from you best friend who you were desperately in love with. The cliché that made up your life made you giggle dryly "No thanks Ash. I promise I'll catch up with you another day." You didn't wanna send him away, you wanted to hang out with him, hear his beautiful laugh while listening to his new record while he would geek out about some music knowledge you didn't have, but instead you had to usher him to leave.

"I'm not gonna leave, you are not gonna work that much I won't take it. Let me take care of you" he was smiling at you, but the smile was insisting, you didn't want him to help you. You knew how it was going to go, he would end up hating you and having only resentment towards you.

"No Ashton" your voice was stern and the usage of his full name made him understand that you were serious. He groaned and moved further into your home until he took a seat on your couch "hello? Do you not hear me? I'm have to leave." His eyes meet yours, the normally bubbly and friendly light was off and instead you were met with anger "no y/n I'm going to sit here until you accept my help." Angry you walked towards him "get out Ashton, I'm not gonna accept your help!" He just shrugged his shoulders and leaned back. "Fuck this" you mumbled as you left your apartment.

8 hours later you shift ended. The hours had dragged by slowly and you had spent every single minute regretting the encounter with Ashton. Your heart was his, and fighting with him made you feel sick. You had loved him for ages and watched been with other, so you knew he didn't feel the same towards you. But after his last ended relationship you couldn't help but allow yourself to be lulled into a story where he was slowly falling in love with you. When he would pull you in for a hug, you would imagine how it would feel to press your naked body against his. Reality was that you were just friends, or at least you used to be.

The grey sky had opened above you making you drenched, with tired steps you carried yourself home. A heavy feeling of the whole world being against you hung over you like a blanket, when you arrived in front of your door you stopped in your steps. Light was creeping around your door and a light humming hit your ears, a soft smile tugged at your lips and instantly your life felt better.

On the other side of the door Ashton was cooking while humming along to his favorite tune that reminded him of you. The opening of the door alerted him that you were home and he spun around to look at you. You were quick to engulf him in a hug and he was also quick to hug you back, both of you relaxing in to the hug. "I'm so sorry " you mumbled into his chest to which he rubbed your back. The hug when on for longer than what normal is but neither of seemed to care. "We need to talk hun" his voice was back to his normal voice and not the bossy one you had heard earlier but his words made your inside crawl. You both pulled back and he lead you to the couch. You looked at each other and he spoke first "I wanna help you, it's not fair that I get to have a lot of money because of my work and then you have nothing tho you are working your ass off" he was sincere and you knew he felt this way. He worked his ass off too, but you would agree that he was well paid. "Ash, I really appreciated the offer but I have to make my own living. I can't use you like that" before the words even had rolled of your tongue he answered you "is not using when I'm offering. Please just let me help you " the conversation was calm but it wasn't getting you anywhere and you felt your frustration grow. "Ashton we need to end this conversation ok?" He was disappointed and not ready to let go "no y/n. I..I..I" it was like the words he was about to say made him scared and that made you feel frightened. "I love you y/n and I wanna help you " you let out a breath "yeah I know ash, I love you too. But you " "no, I don't love you like that, I love you like the love of my life love " his words took you back and you winched. The words you were so desperate to hear now seemed as a cruel joke. He wasn't in love with you, all the girls who had laid in his bed while he knew you were a testimony to that. Within a rapid motion you stood from the couch "you can't say shit like that" your voice was small but stern, pacing the room your head was spinning from his confession. Ashton raised from his place as well. His body was in front of you within seconds, stopping your motion "listen to me y/n, please. I understand why you don't believe me, but hear me out?" Your eyes met once more and you wanted to hear him out, if there was even a chance for the life you wanted you wanted to take it. Carefully you sat down again, as if any quick movement would smash this fragile moment and make reality drag you down into a pit of darkness. His hand reached for yours and you allowed him to hold it while he spoke "I didn't realize how much I love you until recently y/n. I mean, I knew you were special but I always just thought that we were bffs, and I wouldn't wanna ruin that. I still don't" His ramble came to a short break as his breath was uneven and his eyes wild. Your thumb rubbed over his palm and he carried on " When my last relationship ended I finally saw it. You are here for me through everything, you are the one who encourage me when I'm down, the one who listen to my endlessly talk about music, the one who pretends to care about what ever I like. You are the one who holds my hand when im scared, y/n. I want you to hold my hand forever, and I wanna hold yours. When im feeling down you are the one who makes me smile again. Its like we were meant to be, and im sorry that I didn't realize it sooner." 

His hand reached for your head and you allowed him to pull you close. Noses rubbing against one another, breath fanning the others face and lips touching ever so slightly. You leaned forward and melted into the kiss. The world faded, every problem didn't matter. He was there with you, and that was all you really needed.

[lununnunna]

Waterworks - Part Two || Dabi x Reader

part one

just a bit of a happier ending to the story bc a sweet anon asked for it 🥺❤️

(warnings(?): idk if its a warning but uhh smoking?? weed?? bc cigarettes are bad for u so i always go w weed?? idk if it should even be warned but uhh yeah theres usage of it so)

(oh, and brief alcohol mention)

it had been at least a week since you’d left him alone. maybe longer. he wasnt too sure, as the days all blended and blurred together into one agonizingly long and painful mass of time and regret.

he had hardly moved from his pitiful ball in the living room, only occasionally dragging himself to the bathroom to empty his bladder and then to the kichen to force himself to scarf down some sort of sustenance. it was always painful for him to eat, when all he craved was your cooking.

what he wouldnt give to hear you sing, to watch you dance as you made dinner for him. the lengths hed go through just to hear your sweet voice nag him for not taking better care of himself, to fix his diet, to put down those goddamn chips and stop spoiling his appetite when youre trying to make him something edible.

but he ate nonetheless, because even if the last thing he wanted to do was move and pretend to be alive, your nags and complaints for him to take care of himself stayed with him. he would take care of himself, if it meant youd be happy. it brought him some sort of bittersweet solace, to imagine you walking through the door and smiling at him for his slightly healthier choice of food. for you to praise him for eating, as if youd known he hadnt been.

the flick of a lighter burned through the heavy silence of the dark room. the bubbling of the bong sounded like firecrackers after having been in the quiet for so long.

he had been improving, moving around a bit more, slowly slipping into a more functional stage of heartbreak. he was able to smoke again, to shower, to burn some toast. he became motivated by the idea of seeing you and showing you he took care of himself.

slowly, the soothing scent of the substance filled the air in billows of soft gray as he exhaled. he set the piece of glass down before leaning back against the couch. his eyes slid shut as he focused on relaxing— he needed to think clearly, past the heartbreak; past the pain. he needed to relax.

dabi wasnt new to weed. when he was touya, he had smoked the plant plenty of times with his bad influence friend group— yet was smart enough to avoid anything serious or dangerous, with the exception of alcohol and cigarettes, of course. he couldnt be a narc.

when he became dabi, he stuck with cigarettes. hes not sure why. he hated them, and yet they were his go-to when he needed a moment to relax.

it was you who switched him to weed. you hated his cigarettes. he’d caught you flushing them several times, and although he was angry about it, each and every time you had handed him a couple blunts as a replacement and he couldnt bring himself to stay mad at you.

he wasnt quite sure when the switch really happened. all he could remember was feeling better. he no longer had an itch to scratch. he no longer smelled the bitter scent of nicotine lingering in his apartment when he came home. you would wear his clothes more often. you were a lot more willing to kiss him. he no longer heard you complain about his breath. he was really, truly better.

and now here he sat, sighing in relief as his load was lightened ever so slightly. it was easier to breathe. he felt calm. at peace. he could think more rationally now. he could reflect in the dark of the room; he could silently ponder how to change for the better. how to make you feel more loved with him. how he could possibly explain to you that he just couldnt cry.

he remained in silent meditation for the remainder of the night, taking a few hits occasionally, until the peace lulled him into a gentle sleep.

it was the first decent night of sleep he’s had since youd left.

the next day, he found himself at the door to your old apartment, where he was sure youd have taken refuge after leaving him.

he knocked once.

twice.

three times. no answer.

he almost wanted burn the door down and demand you to face him— and just as he finished weighing the pros and cons, left hand already beginning to heat in preparation, you answered the door.

he had imagined this moment over and over, practiced all the things he wanted to say to you, came ready and prepared to ask for your forgiveness— and yet standing here now, staring into your puffy, swollen red eyes, face rubbed raw presumably from consistently wiping away your snot and tears, all words escaped him.

thankfully, before he even began to scramble for a coherent sentence, you had practically thrown yourself onto him, your small arms wrapping tightly around his midsection as your face buried in his chest. he wasted no time in returning the affection, brows twisting in pain and concern when he heard your sobs.

“let it all out,” he murmured as soothingly as he could muster, leaning to rest his cheek at the top of your head, eyes gliding shut when he breathed in your familiar scent.

he couldn’t understand what garbled words you were trying to tell him, but he didnt mind. he only wanted you to get it all out of your system and feel better.

he couldnt believe you had been crying all this time, over him. he felt overjoyed at the fact that you were as torn up over the split as he was, but at the same time, felt guilty for not coming sooner. on one hand, your tears and pain were proof you loved him as much as he does, you, but on the other, he never wanted you to be in pain. he hated that you were crying because of him.

eventually, you had calmed down, and he was pulled from his thoughts when you had quieted.

“..do you wanna come inside?” your muffled voiced asked him timidly, and he couldnt stop himself from scooping you up into his hold, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he carried you.

“no. i want you to come home.”

you let out a teary laugh, sniffling as you clung to him. “okay, dabi. lets go home.”

he pulled from your neck, looking into your eyes, his oceanic hues shining with guilt, sorrow, and hope.

you only smiled shakily and pecked his lips, to which he responded to with ten times more passion.

“now,” you whispered breathlessly after a solid minute of reuniting, “are you going to take me home? we have an entire year and a half to rebuild, you know. we technically broke up so now we have to start over.”

he laughed.

[planetjisungie]

NCT Dream reaction to S/O using British Slang

an; i could help myself im soRRY also im southern so some may not exist in the north? idk man im just vibing in London. side note, gifs have nothing to do w it i just like them 🥺 also i really wanted to put arkid in there but im not northern so i dont rly know how u guys use it

RENJUN

"fucking hell mate dont be such a wanker!" you groaned, banging your head against the car window. immediately following, you raised your fist in outright rage and aggressively moved your arm up and down. renjun, sat next to you gaped at the thick accent spewing the vulgarities. he was slightly surprised at the angry sounding outburst, even more so at the gesture you made afterwards.

"what did you say?" he leaned forwards, turning to you so you can translate it back into korean. at this, you fluster up slightly and swallow. how the fuck do you translate that?

"its— dont worry i dont think i can translate it" this would probably make renjun confused because what kind of thing would have had to have said for him not to understand?

"what does it mean then?"

"its just an insult"

LMAO after that day idk why but i can just see renjun bullying the poor dreamies with all these words that they don’t understand

JENO

"alright then you prick, just shove past me then. absolute bellend." you would sarcastically say after someone shoved between you and jeno, not even caring to apologise after knocking your phone out your hand.

jeno would get the insinuation of the insult, just from the pure malice and sarcasm that dripped off your words. he would also make one of his confused jeno sounds, helping you up as you picked your phone from the ground and made sure it wasnt broken. "huh? prick? bellend?" and then he would repeat the words, obviously not knowing what they mean.

"i— jeno, dont repeat anything i say from now on, okay?" you would look at him amused, from the cute korean accent as he tried to pronounce words that would just sound so very wrong when not said with a british/irish accent.

i feel like jeno would later on ask you what they mean with the intention to add them to a wordbank he uses to understand your small phrases, then probably get very confused when you explain the literal meaning of bellend. after that i dont see him using the words unless he makes it a habit of muttering them under his breath so its not embarrassing if he says it wrong yet he gets the satisfaction of cursing at someone with a word they dont know.

HAECHAN

"finally! scran!" you dashed towards your boyfriend that you would be eternally grateful for for bringing you snacks.

i feel like hyuck would be more confused than the profanities, because there really is no way to tell what scran meant with no underlying emotion. "scran? whats a scran?" he would probably think it was just a random word like yay until you would only just realise he didnt have a clue what you just said.

"scran means food babe"

for hyuck i doubt he would use the word scran again unless he was on a show and he suddenly remembers the word and just claps and points at the food like "ayyeee scrann"

JAEMIN

"this cake is pengers mate" you declare your love for the delicious spongey dessert while you eat it. jaemin just looked at you curiously while you ate. at first you would be self conscious from how hes literally just watching you eat, until you notice hes whipped out the english book where he writes all his new english words and was looking at you expectantly.

"so i know mate means friend in a casual way, what does pengers mean?"

then i feel like hed love the way you said it, then ask you to teach him more words like that. this would be when he finds the miraculous invention of ‘leng’ which baffles him because why the fuck would you need to use a word which means penger than peng? but then he would start using these words a lot, which would probably be cringey if it wasnt jaemin because im convinced he can do anything and it not be super cringey.

CHENLE

"y/n babe, have you seen jisung?"

"yes love, up the apples and pears"

😭man would be like?? excuse me??

"up the... up the apples and pears? are you feeling okay?" because he is actually pretty good at english he would obviously know what apples and pears are, the edible, tangible objects which grow on trees under the category of ‘fruit’. and jisung is too big to be inside a fruit.

"yeah, up the apples chenle, that is what i said" probably wouldnt hit you that he doesnt know what the fuck the apples and pears are considering all youve known is people knowing immediately what it means. "y/n...baby... what are the apples and pears? did jeno and jaemin feed you sugar cubes again?" he would halt his hunt for jisung and come sit next to you as you very slowly come to the realisation that he really doesnt know what the apples and pears are.

"oh shit! chenle im so sorry, the apples and pears is cockney rhyming slang for the stairs. jisung has gone upstairs"

after this i very much doubt chenle would use it, he would probably be reminded of it every time he saw stairs, an apple or a pear but i feel like cockney has to be said by the people who grew up saying it otherwise it doesnt sound right

JISUNG

"jisung sweets, you look knackered" your eyes scanned the tired boy who just walked into your room like a zombie and flopped onto the bed. he had just come back from dance practice, except the others came back 2 hours ago because jisung wanted to stay longer and perfect the routine.

i doubt the word would even register in jisungs mind until a few days later when he sees the word in an instagram comment. "y/n? what does n-n oh my god nevermind, what does this word mean" he would also probably give up on trying to pronounce it because literally fuck you english and your weird phonetics. so you would look over his shoulder to read the very familiar word with a hum.

"knackered? it means really tired or exhausted"

i dont think he would be using it ever again until he hears you say it a few more times incase he says it wrong. big babie can understand english but we know he worries about his speaking so would just listen to you say it before he even attempts to use it.

[bangtansfavwriter]

🌷 seokjin having a crush on you 🌷

- very torn between writing you good morning texts and hating himself for being so "sappy"

- jimin: hyung it's not sappy, they'll like it

jin: I'm sorry but I only take advice from people above 175 cm height

jimin: oh short jokes very original

namjoon: idk but I think good morning texts are kinda cute

jin: they shall receive good morning texts until the day i die

-tries to show his best sides around you, gets clumsy and embarrassed sometimes but he feels very strongly for you, even though he keeps denying it in front of the boys, who just tease him about the crush he has on you

- laughs obnoxiously loud at your jokes

- loves to cook for you, adores the way you look while you munch on your food, gets really really happy when you enjoy his cooking

- puns and jokes all the time

- but ready to cut a bitch when you're sad or when you're angry about something

-always has ur back

-very flirty and confident but gets super shy when you tease him back

- btw he will always try to look his best around you, will get very shy when u stop by one morning and he's still in his rj pyjamas (he'd run away from u into his room to change, yelling "WHY ARE U HERE", obviously, very obviously, he forgot about the pancakes he had promised to make for u a couple days ago, comes out of his room after like.. 3 mins, looking like he's about to do a domestic bf photoshoot, you: .... black magic)

- very flamboyant and flirty, but also very traditional in romancing you

- one day he sends you like 100 roses to your workplace with a card saying "you're the person I want to woo, you know my love for you is true, this is such a stupid rhyme, as stupid as namjoon wasting my thyme, anyway pls just let me in, for it is I, kim seokjin" and you'd die laughing and stop by at bighit to talk to him, and hed be like "idk what ur talking about", secretly embarrassed by his gesture, "must be a good prank or so idk 🤷🏻‍♂️"

- and u obviously notice his pink blush, laugh and then you'd go: "idk but this guy, I think I'd give him a try, he can't rhyme for shit, but these roses were.... " you'd grin, while he'd hide his face and laugh nervously " .. a big hit" (cue the windshield wiper laugh, you'd start laughing too ) - him: "go on, I wanna hear the rest" , you, mortified but ready to continue win this giant dork's heart with the most ridiculous poem on earth: "..eh... so.. big hit... - pause- also, he's the guy who I'm trying to win... and he goes by the name of---" - "KIM SEOKJIN" he'd scream before you had the chance to finish your poem but you wouldn't care bc the two of you would just laugh so loudly and you'd let out a scream when he pulled you into a tight hug that literally swept your feet from the ground and spun you around until he almost lost balance himself (bang pd and jimin would secretly high five each other behind the pillar they were hiding and watching you guys from)

-you guys would calm down again once you were standing with both feet on the ground, looking at each other and smiling

-he'd stroke a loose strand of hair from your face and look at you very softly

- "god, you're gorgeous..." he said absent-mindedly, almost lost in the moment the two of you were sharing

- "oooh look who's blushing" he teased -"oh shut up" you said and tried to get out of his hug, embarrassed about the scene when you suddenly remembered where you were

- he did not let that happen however and pulled you closer to him again

(jungkook, who suddenly appeared behind jimin, who almost got a heart attack: "oooo look at the manly man jin-hyung is rn" - bang pd: "ikr? look at my boy" - jimin: *deep sigh*..... istg)

- (you, whispering: are you aware that... we're being watched ")

-(jin: "let's give them a whole show then")

- (you almost choked)

- (jin: ohhh, I meant a kiss! is my boo a secret perv ?? 👀👀)

-non-crack-version of this shdbsh:

"did you really think I'd let you go like that right after I finally had the chance to hold you like that" ((that's the traditional jin I was talking about 💁🏻‍♀️)) , you couldn't help but stare at him, which made him smirk.. "staring is kinda rude, love..." - "you're all mine now, aren't you? I can stare as much as I please" you teased back, which made him shut up in an instant........ "all yours, hm" he said shyly "I like the sound of that"

[evening-blossoms]

Bodyguard Chadnico AU

This is the Second time I do this post bc Tumblr deleted the first one I hate this hellsite

This AU was based of this post

Anyways!!!!! Chaddick is the spoiled, arrogant, bratty Prince of Foxwood, and Nicholas is the grumpy, cranky, impatient bodyguard.

Nico Hates this job. He Hates having to deal with that Spoiled Brat every day.

Chad Hates his new bodyguard. Who cares if Dad says hes the best one and so is the most fit to protect a Heir????? He is so annoying and did Nobody tell him that Smiles are Physically Possible???? Or does he just have a problem in that handsome face that he isnt able to smile????

But both share one thing in common - THEYRE GAY AND SO, SO, OBLIVIOUS.

Prince Cedric is a Little Less Oblivious.

Cedric: JUST FACE IT CHADDICK YOU THINK YOUR BODYGUARD IS HOT

Chad: NO I DO NOT

So Cedric decides that if Theyre not gonna do it themselves, he should set the two up. All his attempts fail.

Nicholas kinda hates everything at this point. Except for his friend, Anadil. She doesnt take shit from anyone. She is good company. And Caleb too, but thats more because literally Any Adult That Comes In Contact With That Child Decides to Adopt Him.

No seriously. He is a Little Angel. Anyone that dislikes him is a Monster.

Nico voice// If anything happened to that kid, I'd kill everyone in this castle and then myself.

Mood, Nico. Mood

Nothing Happens to Caleb tho

Id never introduce such a cinnamon roll to then make him suffer ok

IM NOT SOMAN

Nico and Chad go on that "Spoiled Prince vs Guard Who Aint Having None Of That Shit" fashion until...

PIANO LESSONS!!!!!

Chad has to take them. But he Sucks. Seriously.

Nico feels like his ears are being Brutally Assaulted Every Single Time.

So one day he's had enough. And decides to Act Out the way hes feeling.

Chad scoffs. "As if you could do any better.",

"Watch me" Nico snaps. Then he sits down. And plays Wonderfully. Like, Scalping-Chad-Via-Piano Wonderful.

So that makes Chad loose his sleep a bit.

So he decides to Make Nico Teach Him.

And at first Nico is Very Angry abt this. But he does so anyways.

So Every Night they play. And at first Nico is a very grumpy and bossy teacher, but with time, things better. Maybe because Nico actually Likes playing for Chad, although hed never admit it. Perhaps it is because of the looks of admiration and awe he always gets. Probably that.

And also bc being Closer to Nico has made Chad change a bit too. Hes less Bratty and Arrogant. He's just becomig a kinder, better person in general.

And one night...

"Think I'll have a break" Chad says, and stands up, leaning on the piano tail. Nico sits down and starts playing.

And Chad just watches him play, the moon's silver light cast over him contrasting with the warm, yellow glow of the candles. It was nice to watch him play, even if it was only by the way his expression softens and the hint of a smile that plays on his lips whenever he is playing. He wonders what Nico's smiles actually are like. Probably not much of a bright smile. More of a serene smile.

And Chad only realizes the Gay has Hit him as Gently as a Train On Max Speed when he feels his cheeks going hot. Fuck. Is he blushing too???

And then Nico stands up,

And now theyre so close, oh God, Oh Fuck,

And Chad really wants to kiss him but he doesnt know how or when or-

Nicholas kisses him. It is nice, soft, gentle kiss.

It doesnt last long as Nico realizes what he's done.

Chad doesn't give him time to wonder if he's overstepped or not, because he grabs him by the waist and kisses him back.

And when they break away again, Nico is smiling. A genuine smile. It is the first time Chad has actually seen him smile.

And Chad was right. It is a serene smile. Not bright with teeth. Just a calm, a bit subtle, but still, a smile. Chad thinks it is lovely.

"Youre actually smiling." He says. Then he smirks. "Should I call a doctor?"

"Shut up"

"I can schedule you a therapist-"

"Oh, cut it out," Nico snaps, giving him a light punch on the shoulder. But he never stops smiling. Chad is Sure he's heard a giggle.

After a few days, Cedric finds abt that kiss. He decides he can finally die in peace.

And so Chad and Nico start dating. In Secret, but still Dating.

But one thing comes in their way. Chad ends up in an arranged marriage with Princess Beatrix of Jaunt Jolie.

However, Bea is a Lesbian, and is Dating Her bodyguard, Reena.

Seriously??? For Reatrix it was Love At First Sight. 3 days into the job theyre kissing. By the time the arranged marriage happens, they had already started planning to elope and get married in secret.

So Bea and Chad decided to work together to Sabotage The Wedding.

Sadly it doesnt work. One has never seen a couple looking so miserable during a wedding when the day comes.

HOWEVER! When the priest goes "does anyone object-"

Reena and Nico stand up at the same time and start talking over each other. When they realize What is going on they change to "oh no you-" "-oh please go on-" "-oh after you-"

After some minutes of that Reena talks first. And she doesnt have the time to Finish her Passionate Declaration because Bea is already rushing from the altar to jump into her arms.

Nico is more direct. He Marches into the altar and kisses Chad Right There.

This causes enough upheaval for the Wedding to be Called Off.

But yknow what??? Bea is Already in a Wedding Dress so she decides to marry Reena right there. It is a Beautiful wedding. Chad is Absolutely Sobbing.

A few weeks later he and Nico get married. It is also a great wedding. Cedric is Chads best man. He is crying like a child at the wedding. And so is Chad. By the time he can say "I do" he's sobbing.

Aaaand thats it for the Main plot!!!!! Here are some cameos that should make it to the fic if I write it:

Tagatha has a cameo!!!! Tedros is the Also Spoiled Bratty Prince, hes Heir to the Throne Of Camelot. And similar to Chaddick, he also is in a predicament of being-attracted-to-his-bodyguard-that-he-also-hates: Agatha. First appearance is Teddy paying Chad a visit and them bitching abt the bodyguard ordeal to each other lmao. Tho one week after Reatrixs wedding Tedros comes to a visit again. And Chad catches them kissing behind a pillar.

Hestadil!!!! Ani is a guard and Nicos friend. Hester is Ani's girlfriend, and although she doesnt work at the castle, she pays Ani a visit sometimes. Shes a hunter. Also Dot is their roommate, and she sells chocolate (thought itd be a nice tie to her special talent in canon sjsjdj)

And Nicphie!!!!! Sophie is Princess of Gavaldon, she makes a cameo during the wedding along with her girlfriend Nicola.

Yara is a guard at Foxwood, and Kiko is a maid And her girlfriend. (My dumbass only thought of that 14 hours after posting this so I had to edit to make the change 😔)

So yeah thats pretty much it lmao skdkdkfm

I originally wanted to make it into a Comic but Idk if I have the skill to do so??? So I think I'll only write it But I Might end up making some short comics based on it idk

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: How do you like your  🥚🍳 in the morning? Carly: no 🐣 Carly: ha Ali: 🐔 didn't show up in your roost later, did he? Carly: he must be scared of you Carly: 🔮 Ali: or my 🐺 Carly: maybe Ali: eggs aside, how you feeling, chick? Carly: 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: 👎👎👎👎👎 Ali: unacceptable! Ali: what do you need, kill or cure? Carly: cure forever Carly: im too young to die Ali: I'll swing by with my witches brew Ali: actually doesn't taste like ☠ either Ali: pure 😇 Carly: aw Carly: really? Ali: 'course, not gonna half-arse the job Ali: and it makes a full pot, no sense in not sharing the 💚 Carly: 💙 Carly: wat does it taste like? Ali: like Christmas 🎄🎅🤶🎁❄️🌨️☃️✨🌟 Carly: 😋😊🥰 Ali: it's got ginger and peppermint in Ali: the only other person hanging out their arse is my brother and he would rather die 'cos he's grumpy 👴 man energy so Carly: no 🦃 tho yea?! ha Carly: oh no he sounds like my da Carly: which cute bro is it? Ali: definitely not 😂 Ali: some greens but not sprouts Ali: the freckly one Carly: did u heal my heart to 💔😢? Carly: course itd be the most beautiful one Ali: oh no, you're delirious Ali: I'll come quick 😜 Carly: dont b jealous 👼 hes only the most beautiful boy Ali: 😏 My ma'll be gutted Carly: do u have a tea for that? Ali: 🍋 'cos she's so bitter? Ali: I'll see if she goes for it Carly: noooo 🍯 so she wont be Ali: you're too sweet yourself, Walsh Carly: aw Carly: but ur the 1 who saved me Carly: ur the sweetest Ali: anyone would Carly: nah ur the 1st Carly: not just saying it to u get ur fairy wings Ali: had to fly away from that particular 🐔 plenty myself Ali: harmless and flightless though he is, most the time Carly: yea Carly: he talks about u wen hes been on it Carly: the 1 that flew away Ali: uh oh Ali: can't let a boy ✂ your wings Ali: ever Ali: ever Ali: 👼🏽 🐔 🐧 🐦 🐤 🐣 🐥 🦆 🦢 🦅 🦉 🦚 🦜 🦇 🐝 🦋 🐞 🦗 🦟 🐓 🦃 🕊 Carly: im 😕💫🙃 but idk if those were the guests i danced with Carly: did get a cute lil 🎶🎤 to fall asleep to tho 💙🕊 Carly: 🌚🌝🌛🌜🌞 Ali: very 👸 of you though Ali: I can 👀 it Carly: my ma is trying to make me clean Carly: 🐇🐁🐀🐿🦔🐾 pls Ali: also unacceptable Ali: not 'til you're better Ali: use my wings to fly through and 🤞 he don't get the wrong idea about who I'm there to see Carly: [sends her a pic of whatever caravan mess she caused last night that her mum is raging about] Carly: so u can play a game of spot whats got her 😠 Carly: cuz idk Ali: Fun 🧐🤔🤨 Ali: angry mothers are my forte Ali: [does the circling the hazzards moment on the pic] Carly: making her angry is mine but nah to knowing y ever ever Carly: k ur cute & smart Carly: 🌟 Ali: it's rarely logical, but 🤫 on that or it's hulk levels in 0-60 Ali: how are you this nice when you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: that's a skill, rare one at that 💎✨ Carly: my da is looking green must of had his own 🎶🍻💃 ha Carly: idk i can b nicer? but k now i know ronan aint been talking bout me when hes 🍺 or 💊 Ali: can be a tea party for three Ali: have to bring his own 🎩 though Ali: not to me anyway Ali: but as you can tell Ali: 🐺 keeps all the 🐓🐓🐓 away Carly: 🐇🐇🐇♠️♣️♥️♦️🐇🐇🐇 Carly: she is fierce Ali: she likes to think so Ali: 🐶 really Carly: course ur not scared of her silly Carly: u love her Carly: im a 🐈 person ha Ali: [sends her a load of pictures of Bluebeard she didn't ask for rather than being like do I love her hmm] Carly: AW!!!! Carly: 🥰🤗 Ali: he's captain ☠🏴 but there's always room aboard Carly: thats the best offer ive had from a gentleman ever ever ever Carly: whats his name? Ali: Bluebeard Ali: and he is MOSTLY a gentleman if you can handle some toe nibbling Carly: 😍😍😍😍 Carly: into it Carly: ive done more for lads i just met who aint as beautiful so Ali: 😂 I feel that Ali: honestly, it's quite comforting, when he doesn't sneak attack you with it Carly: [sends her a selfie that shouldn't be as adorable as it is] Carly: now u can introduce us Carly: 👋 baby blue Ali: the 😍😍😍😍 are mutual Ali: I can tell Carly: yay Carly: 🧡 Ali: is there anything else you need/we want for the tea party? Ali: en-route at last Carly: ur really coming? Ali: yeah, sorry I was ages, it's a whole process brewing it Ali: also a dead giveaway you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 which obvs my ma takes as her cue to be all Spanish inquisition about it Ali: 📚 of my mostly-fictional-but-which-are-and-which-aren't-mother exploits later Carly: sorry iou so much magic Ali: nah, don't worry about it 👸 Ali: who doesn't love a little scandal with their morning brew? she deffo does Carly: its too late im looking for 🍀 Carly: among the 🌼🌼🌼 Ali: awh Ali: I'm never turning down extra luck Ali: we can make daisy-chains Carly: its the dresscode Carly: soz da Ali: does he have a 🧔? Ali: that's a #look Carly: not rn Carly: my ma wasnt on @ me only to clean up Carly: he had his turn Ali: damn it Ali: maybe a nice belt Ali: I'll be 🤔 Carly: dont b 💔😢 he has bushy eyebrows Ali: same Ali: he's earnt his invite back Ali: your ma gonna have to chill though Ali: and it ain't that kinda tea 💔 Carly: you wont b able to tell if shes angry or surprised Ali: 😚 ⬅ I know the vibe Ali: you do you babe Carly: she used to let me sort em out but there was an accident Carly: which im sworn to secrecy about Ali: I'm so good with secrets 🙏🙏🙏 Carly: k Carly: my head zoned out but my hands kept going like Ali: you were meditating you can't help having  🌌🧠 Ali: I'll 🤭 now and never tell, don't worry Mrs W Carly: @ school yea im meditating on your q sir relax Carly: ha love that Ali: they just ask questions to answer it themselves, what is the point Carly: u coming for my ma again? Ali: 🤫 bad first impression, that Carly: shes heard it from ronan too sorry Carly: lad has loose lips Ali: honestly Ali: 🙄 can't keep up with my bad reputation Carly: ud think hed be better at kissing Carly: its talk talk talk Carly: more good things about u than ive made it seem like tho Ali: he was a big talker Ali: probably 'cos he ain't allowed with the lads Carly: if he talked about what a 👼 u are & how 💔😢 he is theyd uninvite him from the bonfire Carly: its sweet really how hung up hes got Ali: he only thinks I'm an 👼 'cos he took my virginity probs Ali: that's more suitable 🔥side chat Carly: he goes on about that alot but I thought he was lying Carly: oh no that sounds bad Carly: not calling u a slag ur obvs not its y he likes u more Ali: 😂 I'm fine with slag Ali: all definition dependent anyway Carly: yea same Carly: can be hot if ur in the mood Ali: right, and if I'm a slag 'cos I didn't marry him then I'll take it Carly: & hes not allowed to marry gorgers theyd wanna throw him in the 🔥 Ali: exactly Ali: we can't both be 💔😢 forever can we boy Carly: just me @ the party til u came to my rescue Ali: 🥺 Ali: What was he even on about then, like? Ali: dickhead Carly: idk i zone out wen he shouts @ me too Ali: I can always poison a cup and send it his way Ali: just say the word Carly: hes not that bad Ali: okay okay, just some laxatives Ali: 'cos he's a bit 💩 Carly: ha Ali: no 🌼🌼🌼 unless he says soz then Carly: but his beautiful curls 🥺 Ali: hmm, a good point Ali: be strong, baby Carly: ill throw one @ him & run away Carly: back to u Ali: you're so adorable Carly: says u Carly: 👼👸🏼 Ali: 💚 we're gonna have an adventure when the tea hits okay Ali: I've decided Carly: k thats the kinda 🎄🎅🤶🎁 it is Carly: i do want the energy of a kid on xmas morning Ali: that's the best Ali: how I'm tryna be every day Carly: 💫⭐️🌟✨⚡️☄️ 🚀🛸 Ali: if only 🚀 Ali: this bike can only go as fast as my lil legs can carry, like Carly: aw baby Carly: i shouldve asked u where u live before this 2nd rescue was launched Carly: im sorry Ali: No distance is too far for a fair maiden Carly: ill have to see what other 🔮 i can find before u get here Carly: dont love ious Ali: there's no ious Carly: [sending her loads of pics of her with or just pics of the cat lady's cats that she's rounding up for this tea party and they're adorable] Ali: 😍💞😻 Ali: okay, non-debt fully paid though Carly: [just rambling about the names she's given each cat cos her and cat lady don't know each other properly til Ali comes along and like facts about each cat/her fave things cos she's a big nerd] Ali: I love them Ali: I'm gonna get them some 🐟🐟🐟 when I get tea party tings Ali: some cream, awh, okay, this is happening Carly: im picking enough 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼 for everyone Ali: should've put Bluebs in my basket Ali: next time Carly: aw Carly: Humbug might try & fight him Carly: youd b there to protect him tho Ali: I can ref Ali: my little brother is always trying to play-fight everyone so I'm well-versed Carly: is he ticklish? that works for me Carly: broken up lots of fights Ali: big time Ali: his kryptonite Ali: reckon it's against the rules in professional fights but preparing him for anything like any good big sister Carly: ha Carly: aw i bet ur an amazing sister Carly: if i had 1 maybe id wanna be on site sometimes Carly: my ma's eyebrows r hardly a call to home Ali: he might disagree but he's 5 so what does he know 😉 Ali: feel that though Ali: home is just a base, whole 🌍 out there Carly: wen ur 5 you argue to argue Carly: yea if u dont use ur wings theyll think u dont want em 💔😢 Ali: flying is like riding a 🚲 though Carly: r we goin on a 🚲 adventure? Ali: definitely Ali: ugh, need one of those wagons for the 😻😻😻s Carly: ☺️its gonna b so fun! Carly: we might meet more 🐈🐈🐈🐈 Ali: way better than 🐔 Carly: ha Carly: do u have 🔮 left to help me find shoes? Ali: have you checked the fridge? Carly: [a pause while she do] Carly: theyre not there 😕🧐 Ali: damn, that'd be the last place I'd look though Ali: were they in the mess your Ma was sounding off about fr Carly: o mayb Carly: if i was wearing any when you dropped me off Ali: 🤔 I don't know if I recall any glass slippers Ali: I'll ask Lene hold up Carly: 👸 energy Carly: but idk if i wanna scary 🐺 at my door Ali: turns out she's actually your 👵 Carly: ha my grandma is 💍 to god Carly: its not close to the energy shes putting out Ali: she'd probably tell your actual that God is a gay girl Ali: nah she's well 😇 around fam, just hide behind your Ma and me, baby, you'll be fine Carly: ha that wasn't in any of the kids bible stories she sent me every 🎄🎅🤶🎁 Carly: her god is 😠 than Humbug Carly: he likes to shout so i gotta zone out Carly: aw that's sweet ur ma loves her too? Ali: Hooray for Catholicism, yeah? 😏 Ali: she loves my Ma, more like Carly: we spend our sundays on our knees nana but its 🚽🤮 or u kno a bigger sin Carly: u do look like her i remember Ali: that's not QUITE 🚽🤮 levels but close 😂 Carly: nah its nice u have the same 👀💙✨ Carly: idk who i look like Carly: postman maybe Ali: now I don't know whether to 😳 or be 🤨 you like my Ma too Ali: you look like you and that's Ali: 💛 😍 😘 🥰 😚 👸 👼🏽 🐰 🌼 🌻 🌞 🍓 🍑 🍨 🍰 🍭 🍬 🎆 💜 Carly: yea 🤞🙏🌠 the postman isnt my da cuz hes a ride Carly: aw now youve got me 😳 Ali: rude, my postman is not Carly: 🚫💌 then baby Carly: ill text u instead Ali: so grumpy, don't stick your hand right into our house if you don't wanna get bitten, sir Ali: not by me, whatever Ronan has said Ali: though I'm well flattered I'm getting a text back Carly: ha its k its not that u use too much teeth Carly: & course ur my hero Carly: tho 🤞🙏🌠 wont b an sos every time Ali: good, can't have him putting you off with blatant lies Ali: it won't be if I do a better job at the heroics and get there before any bad shit can happen Carly: its k i like it Carly: helps me remember what i did Carly: 💔😢 no lads r spelling their names out in bruises for the who Carly: 🐇🐾🐇🐾🐇 Carly: nooo theres no better u could do Carly: ur flying to me faster than anyone has ever ever Ali: amateurs, like Ali: so rude, ain't they heard you're 👸 Ali: I'm basically there now, prepare for the best tea party you've ever been to Carly: aint wat theyve heard but idc Carly: yay 💙 i havent had 1 since me & my 🧸🧸🧸 Ali: I'll be 🎶🔊 it so get in the know lads Ali: awh, can I meet them too? Carly: not too 🔊 or ur gf will bite me which could b fun but im not trying to do u like 💔😢 Carly: some r shyer than others but if u work ur 🔮 how u did for me ull make friends Ali: fill your boots, babe, I don't reckon she's your type, like Ali: I'll be on my best behaviour 🤞 Ali: the loveliest guest you've ever had 🤞🤞 Carly: be fun though Carly: not boring Ali: 😲😲 Ali: Is that the impression I give off? Ali: or another Ronan tale, either way Ali: gonna have to prove otherwise now in the most extra ways imaginable Carly: nahhh Carly: he don't lie to me its his 1 saving grace Carly: its just like a pls Carly: to u & the universe Ali: I won't be boring Ali: trust me Carly: k Carly: i do ur a lifesaver Ali: nah Ali: just happy to help Carly: im happy we r mates Ali: me too Ali: idk why we weren't before, like Ali: too many people at school Carly: & i dont go much ha Ali: this is true Ali: lesser spotted walsh 🐦 Carly: oooh wat colours am i Ali: 💗💜💛🧡💗 Carly: cute Ali: very Carly: wats ur fave colour? Ali: It's a harder question than people reckon, that Ali: like, there's so many beautiful things of every colour Ali: if I can decide for the day, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to all the others Carly: sorry Carly: i havent decided on mine either Carly: when i was a lil kid it was 💛 for the 🌞 then wen i started goin out it was silver for wat i thought the 🌚 looked like Carly: but ive seen so many new colours since Ali: kids always know Ali: they're much smarter than adults about everything Carly: i bet ur lil bro is the smartest Carly: like u Ali: he likes red for 🚨❌🛑⛔️🚫💯‼️🥊🥤 Ali: and I see the appeal Carly: does he like 🍎? i kno somewhere that sells the reddest shiniest 1s Carly: or we cud just throw 🍅s Ali: he's at the anti-fruit stage Ali: but I reckon he could be convinced if we let him smother 'em in caramel and sprinkles Carly: its a date Ali: Me first

[sassytrickster666]

Hugo Stiglitz

 NSFW ALPHABET  DONT LIKE DONT READ  WARNING: FIRST POST EVER BEAR WITH ME DARLINGS

I found that there was almost zero Hugo Stiglitz material and since I think he’s the bomb i thought a contibute. 

WARNING: FIRST POST EVER BEAR WITH ME DARLINGS I found that there was almost zero Hugo Stiglitz material and since I think he’s the bomb i thought a contibute. 

GIFS are NOT mine, credit goes to original owners/makers. If you see one of yours and would like it credited please Message me. Thanks! <3

Also the idea of an nsfw alphabet is not mine either but idk where it started so same goes for this.

A= Aftercare

Aftercare with Hugo can vary quite a bit.

For example, when a particular lovemaking session was rougher, at first he’d plop down next to you panting. After this he’d pull you to him, making you feel safe as you feel asleep in his strong arms.

But when sex was slower and more sensual, he’d pepper kisses along your jaw and cheek, showing you rather than telling you about his appreciation.

 B= Body part.

When it comes to your body, he finds picking difficult. He likes your hands, because they’re much smaller and delicate compared to his big and calloused ones. They make him feel loved when you touch him. Speaking more sexually he totally has a thing for your ass. Hold it, squeeze it, slap it, he doesn’t know exactly why, but your ass always releases a primal side of him.

 C= Cum

Hugo always prefers to come inside of you, whether it be your mouth, cunt or ass. Its practical, so clean up won’t be much trouble. It also makes him feel like he’s marked you as his own. He doesn’t dislike cumming elsewhere he just don’t bother much, so if you request him to, he’ll happily do so.

 D = Dirty Secret

Even though he would never admit it, he loves seeing you hold your own. Whether you’d be telling another bastard like Aldo to fuck off when they’re teasing you or on the battlefield. When he sees you knocking down, stabbing, shooting or basically being a badass he always has to fight his hard on.

 E= Experience

Sure, Hugo didn’t go off to war a virgin, but to say he has a load of experience would be wrong. He is naturally shy and usually doesn’t show interest in women. He knows the basics but has lots to learn and you’ll be damned if you didn’t enjoy teaching him. After all, he does learn quick and is a very passionate lover.

 F = Favourite position

He does likes missionary because of the contact and closeness it provides, but his true favourite would be the reverse cowgirl. It gives him an opportunity to sit back and let you dominate him and an amazing view of your jiggling ass and wet pussy bouncing on his cock.

G = Goofy

Hugo is not a goofy person. He simply doesn’t see it ; why people should laugh over the most mundane things so it would take quite something to get him to laugh during sex. It did happen once, when you were in a particularly rough session and tumbled right outta bed together and you both broke into a fit of laughter. Apparently it got the attention cause all of the other basterds barged in thinking he’d gone insane. You Still cringe at the memory. Thus, doing the do is usually more serious than goofy, but he can’t help but smirk whenever something takes a pleasant turn.

 H = Hair

Being the military and disciplined man he is, he keeps himself well groomed when possible. Just like his hair, short and dark.

 I= Intimacy

At the start of your relationship, Hugo was far from ‘intimate’. The shy baby was scared you wouldn’t think of him as good enough and didn’t really dare be so vulnerable. Though, when he started to realize you weren’t ever going to abandon him and how much you enjoyed being with him, he started opening up more and more. Hugo prefers to ‘make love’ actually, thus is all being more intimate. Unless he needs to let off some steam, then prepare for a good ‘ol fuck.

 J= Jack Off

Hugo prefers not to, afraid of being caught in a time where privacy is scarce. So he doesn’t do it often. Only when its really necessary he uses it as stress relief. When he does, he pictures your body, your voice and your soft touch.

He’s very shy about it though. He’d much rather get rid of his frustrations by making love to you.

 K = kink

He definitely has Some kinky streaks . When things get rough after a difficult mission and you tease him he loves yanking on your hair and spanning your ass. He definitely gets dominant from time to time. Asking you who can only give you pleasure. In these moments he often switches to his mother language. Speaking of, he adores it when you do this, speaking german, especially if its dirty. Not to speak of his earlier mentioned instant boners when you get all badass and got your enemies blood all over you. That is when he gets more submissive and just Lets you take him however you want.

 L = Location

Hugo is very picky when it comes to this and always goes for the place with the most privacy and least risks. Except for that one time where your team was staying at in a big barn and he took you behind it outside standing between stacks of hay.

 M= Motivation

Now, there’s actually a lot that can turn him on. He has a naturally high sex drive and a lot of kinks, though something not previously mentioned is how he loves how you are and look when you wake up next to him. Disheveled and with a tired grin on your face. Trusting, loving and innocent, when only he knows how much of a little minx you actually are. He Also loves it when these mornings turn into Some cuddlefucking. He likes how close you are to him then.

 N = No

Anything humiliating or hurtful either on the giving or receiving end. He would never hurt the one he loves.

Also nothing to do with bodily fluids other than your wetness or his cum.

 O = Oral

Though he loves being on the receiving end and enjoying your rather talented skills, he thinks nothing beats watching his lady coming apart at his touch. This and he just loves the way your wet pussy tastes and pulsates against his mouth when he’s doing well.

When he is the one receiving he’s a bit afraid he’ll hurt you though you’ve told him plenty he wont.

 P= pace

He always starts of slow. Making sure you’re wet enough and Well prepared to take his cock.

However, when he thinks youve become adjusted to his size he quickly speeds up

 Q = quickie

He prefers a proper love making session over a quickie. Sure, they’re fine and convenient, certainly because you don’t get much alone time.

But he prefers to spend more time with you. Dragging out foreplay and teasing, making you feel loved at uncertain times.

 R = Risks

He thinks he takes plenty risks when ‘in the job’ and therefore thinks he doesn’t need to when in private. He isn’t keen on getting caught and others seeing you in a compromising position. He wouldn’t affect your honour negatively.

 S = Stamina

Though he hasnt been with many women many times he does have decent stamina.

He usually doesn’t come before you do (and always try to have you come first) like a true gentleman unless you got him really worked up. He usually manages more than one round depending on how tiring his day was.

 T = toys

Neither of you owns any or thinks they’re needed. If you do feel like needing something to spice things up a cloth or rope for binding arent that hard to come by.

 U = Unfair

He doesn’t really care much for teasing you, only if its to build a bit suspense and doesn’t take long.

He doesn’t mind being teased, At times it calms him actually. When he’s annoyed or angry and you start teasing him, secretly or not, he cant really stay mad. It takes the edge of. Also it makes it al all the more rewarding when the teasing turns into action.

 V = Volume

Hugo isn’t a particularly Loud man in general and this is Also the case in the bedroom. He usually makes soft grunts, moans and other sounds of appreciation. Hed rather concentrate on the lovely sounds you make. The only times hes Loud is when he really loses control.

For example when you use your tongue on him in unspeakable ways his almost pornographic sounds can easily be heard through the walls.

 W = Wildcard

What sometimes really surprises you is how sudden he can become either dominant or submissive. Usually its when you’re in the middle of foreplay and you say something or a certain action spurs him on to take on a role. Then he can suddenly become the most dominant ‘sir’ youve ever encountered ordening you around and all or become a sub that loves being called a good boy and get ordered around.

 X = X-Ray

He’s average in length but a little thicker.

You like to joke that he’s custom made for you since his cock fits perfectly, as it has a a bit of a curve to it that makes it hit a spot in you that makes you see stars.

 Y = Yearning

You two don’t always get to chance for Some alone time but when it does happen, he’s always ready to go. His sex drive is higher than average and he’ll always give you what you want.

 Z = ZZZ

He usually falls asleep quickly after sex, but never after making sure you’re comfy and safe in his arms.

[dong-hyucks]

Dating Z.TAO Would Be Like...

A/N: i will be doing ot12 [EXO] im just gonna stop with the warnings y’all should know this is gonna be long

Masterlists

so you are actually the cousin of his lawyer

you normally know nothing about your cousin’s clients as he never tells you

but when you visited from [country] you decided to hang out with your cousin

when he got a phone call from zitao

asking to meet up

he didnt want to leave you alone in china so he arranged for you to come with so long as you didnt eavesdrop

so you went

and to your surprise

his client was the z.tao

as promised you stayed a bit away from them as they talked

but after a while zitao just looked over at you and couldnt stop staring

your cousin introduced you saying you were visiting from [country]

after they talked about their important things regarding sm

for once your cousin formally introduced you to his client

you actually hit it off

you became friends and exchanged sns

when you went back to [country] he still talked to you online

almost every day

much to your surprise

bc of his busy af schedule

you guys became like best friends

whenever you visited china you hung out with him more than your cousin tbh

after you graduated college you made a big choice

you moved to china

you surprised him by asking if he wanted to help you unpack without explanation

he was such a happy bby when he found out you had moved to china

ofc your cousin already knew so he let you hang out with zitao for the day

instead of unpacking zitao showed you around the city

showing you his favourite places that he hadnt shown you yet

basically you hung out until like two in the morning

when you came back to your apartment

you were falling asleep on the make-shift bed which composed of multiple pillows and blankets on the floor

he kind of just watched you fall asleep not at all tired

it just hit him that he liked you

this boi istg

he literally woke you up and confessed to you

while you were half asleep you said that you liked him too

and then fell asleep cuddling him

congrats mate youre dating a beautiful human being

he formally asked you out the next morning, surprising you with fast food when you woke up

bless

your cousin is so supportive of this relationship

because he knows how nice zitao is

so he trusts that he’ll treat you like a royal

which he does

you guys kiss pretty often

which can get pretty heated mind you

but he really likes to give you cheek and forehead kisses

idk man

i just imagine him being really soft and fluffy around you

also

cuddling

y e s

he loves to cuddle with you

after you furnished your apartment

you spend most of your at home dates on the couch or in bed

just cuddling

he likes having his arm around you in some way

his legs entangling with yours

his head will almost always rest on yours or on your shoulder

always (cries)

he sings you to sleep when youre tired but cant sleep

and he raps to himself randomly during the day

did i mention that he moved in with you

because he did

the two of you are in the honeymoon stage

24/7/365

he also comes home with random gifts sometimes

it can literally be just a regular monday and he’ll buy you a necklace or smth

youre always telling him not to spend his money on you

but he doesnt give af

he does it anyway

in return youre always giving him food and massages

whenever you think hes tired

you wont say anything and you’ll just make a fivestar meal

and draw a bath and offer to give him a massage

hes eternally grateful for that

bc he can get really stressed sometimes

so fights

he hates them

you hate them

so you tend to avoid them

but there are times when they happen

like one time he came home and he was kinda angry bc of sm and their lawsuits

and you could make one off comment and he’ll snap

youd probably just stand there as he lets off steam even tho its hurtful

when hes done hed probably apologize an hour or so later

sometimes right after

hed feel really bad for yelling at you and wouldnt let you go for the rest of the night

and if you were the angry one

he may or may not cry depending on the situation

it might take you a bit to apologize but if he cries youd apologize immediately

you guys actually havent really thought of owning a pet

zitaos busy with numerous things and you got a job

as a librarian or smth

so neither of you would have the time to take care of a pet

but both of you lowkey want one

because the thought of taking care of something with each other makes you guys really happy

but the two of you are willing to wait until youre not as busy for one

moving on

zitao actually told you that he loved you before you started dating

it was platonic at the time and it was over pm

‘haha love u good night’

but the first time he told you that he love loves you it was during your first date

he made reserved a really private table at this expensive restaurant

even tho you couldve sufficed with mcdonalds

and halfway into the date he just thought it was the perfect time

you nearly choked when he suddenly said it

but after recovery you said it back with a giant grin

he tells you practically every day that he loves you

its tradition to say it before going to bed

and before you go to work

bc you never know when itll be the last time

dating zitao would be like those aesthetic tumblr pics you see of couples

everyone envies your relationship

hes the perfect gentleman toward you

but ofc he teases your ass whenever he can

out of love obviously

love and support Huang Zitao :)

[chikotos]

speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep

its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot. 

I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,

its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time

and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So

and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore. 

and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him

when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack

and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird

n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that

i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk

and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!

and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself 

all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right

idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary

sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy 

time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunty x hunty cont

soooo we watched more! woohoo

we finished the hunter exam arc???? i THNK? lmaoooo at the end of the ep (21 i thiiiiink) we were on, satotz was like BUT THE HUNTER EXAM ISNT EVEN OVER YET or w/e lol aigh??? whats up w/that

anyways a lot happened in the last few eps that we watched....man i shouldve written this earlier but i litrelly havent been online. anyways

so during the hunter exam stage 4...gon is literally perfect (as i always have to say), him reuniting w/leorio and kurapika was rlly sweet :’) 

of course he immediately offered to help....goodest boy 

and wow that kid has such a powerful nose bvhjksfbjsk he rlly be a gr8 sniffer 

ok literally the part where leorio was in the cave and was like GON KURAPIKA DONT COME IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they both full speed sprint into the cave with 0 hesitation.....we love a 0 brain cells family 

i love leorio so much he really just b running around w/a switchblade and a breifcase, both of which he barely used during the exam lmao

so bummed that leorio slicing up tht snake happened offscreen. how tf did that even work, he doesnt have a goddamn sword

gon just being able to hold his breath for almost 10 mins makes so much sense somehow...he rlly is one of those shounen protags who is just casually a ridiculous human being and doesnt even fully realize that its weird 

that shot of him carrying everyone out of the cave was so sweet

and of course gon vs snakes....hes so perfect....he trusts his friends so much :’) 

also random aside but im so glad tonpa is out and idk if i talked abt this in my prev post but i feel like in most shounen he wouldve been like, so inspired by gons shounen protag energy that he wouldve changed his tune and taken the exam genuinely and either passed or declared that hed definitely pass next year - but no, he was awful til the end, this aint that kind of story (yet...?) 

have i mentioned that i hate hisoka? cause i hate hisoka. nasty ass crusty clown bitch 

what else happened in the phase 4 stuff. oh yeah killua clowned on those triplet dudes (and hanzo lowkey), which was great

ok the opening not having changed this whole time is so funny. imagine if it never changed and its still basic and cheery when everything gets crazy and dark lmao 

ooh my god i forgot to mention this last time but i feel like gons backpack is full of hair gel and hair gel ONLY, he only brought hair gel and his fishing rod. this is canon ty 

oh gosh when killua and gon reunited at the end of the 4th stage....OOOUGH so precious...those two are so cute god. i want a compilation of their cute moments together i hope that exists 

GOD OH FUCK the scene on the airship where kurapika and gon talked bc gon was clearly bothered by something (what happened w/hisoka obvs. i hate that clown bitch) and OUGHHHH OH GOD gon crying LICHRALLY killed me oh man :( i was literally just chanting NO NO NO!!!! at the TV cause seeing tiny baby boy upset was so sad....and ik it gets soooo much worse oh god i cant handle it 

the whole convo was really good and really anti-shounen (once again...feel like thatll be a theme lmao) bc like, it was a healthy convo where gon talked honestly abt his feelings instead of using some shounen protag BS phrases like ‘it doesnt matter!!! ill be stronger next time!!!’ or w/e....and kurapika is a such a good parent oh man :( 

again, cant get over how genuine and uncomplicated the teamup of the main 4 characters has been....literally no ‘we’re competing and only teaming up for convenience/the hunter exam comes before our friendship’ nonsense 

did anything else happen on the airship. ider 

anyways. can i talk abt illumi now. CAN I TALK ABT ILLUMI NOW. H8 THAT BITCH. 

ok wait back up theres other stuff

the interviews w/the candidates was interesting! i love how the old dude was SO not picking up what Creepy Hisoka was putting down lmaooooo

that poor old guy lmao he seems like a decent dude, he was like oh i dont wanna fight gon and killua cause theyre kids,....RIP u red shirt legend 

the bracket setup was so interesting oh man....very funky and creative. and then it wasnt really fully utilized lol, i feel like thats indicative of a bigger patten - hxh so far has been really creative and interesting, and clearly uninterested in setting things up simply to check off boxes on a shounen tropes checklist....i can already see what makes it so great if this keeps up bc daym, so many shounen have their interesting themes drowned out by the overwhelming necessity for the plot to hit certain shounen story beats, smothering otherwise new/fresh ideas and rerouting them back into the same old over-trodden shounen trope territory 

on a meta level, i wonder if the author was like, allowed more leniency (’do whatever bro’) bc hed already been successful w/yu yu hakusho. i havent seen/ready yyh so idk how ‘typically shounen’ it is but thats st that im curious about 

aaanyways. the tournament starts w/hanzo beating up gon for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. jesus dude. so yeah obviously leorio and kurapika are the best parents ever and them getting so righteously angry over seeing this happen to gon is so heartwarming and good and also a big big mood 

they love their son okay. also that was fucked up. ALSO i find it interesting that thats only the second time we’ve seen kurapikas eyes turn red 

i bet that hisoka saw that also and somethign something phantom troupe, see bottom of post in predictions section 

seeing gon get beat up like that made my heart hurt :( especially when hanzo broke his arm...oof. 

god also i cant believe hanzo is 18 hes literally bald hvbhjafbjs whats w/hxh and making everyone a teen or younger lmao god 

also omfg i love that leorio and kurapika are lichreally 19 and already have kids wow thats amazing especially considering their kids are 12. its so funny that theyre such Parents already considering that the age gap is kinda hilariously small, espec bc i thought that they (mostly leorio) were a lot older at first lmao 

the fact that gon gets to win that fight against hanzo was a legit shock to me....again, anti-shounen. we’d normally want to see what our protag can do in a fight - espec in a tournament-style arc where the consequences arent as high typically - so we’d want him to go further, which is easy here bc to move on he has to lose, which is easy bc gon is a baby w/no offensive capabilities (that we’ve seen)

god ive talked abt this already but its so fascinating how we havent really had any full-on fights???? espec w/the main 4 characters????? we still barely know what they can do....WE STILL HAVENT BEEN INTRODUCED TO NEN???? 

ive been spoiled (i guess?) to the existence of nen but thats abt it. what can it do? what is it? fuck if i know lmao. so i could totally see them pulling a ‘we were using nen the whole time’ w/like hisoka or st, OR a ‘YOU were using nen the whole time w/out realizing it’ w/gon

ok anyways. that hanzo fight was rough but also gon is literally the best. he was trying to bargain w/hanzo to figure out a way where they could come to a conclusion that would satisfy them both - despite hanzo clearly outmatching gon in skill, so the effort on hanzo’s part would be pointless and simply for gon’s benefit....basically the entire proposal sound ludicris and insulting to suggest (or st, idk how to phrase it), but since its gon of COURSE he only has the purest of intentions and means it so genuinely that you cant even be mad at him 

hanzo just knocking him out lmaoooo and then hes just out for the rest of the tournament???? thats so wild and...whatdya know....un-shounen! 

then he wakes up n his lil x-shaped forehead bandage....ough so cute

also the whole convo he and satotz had abt gon’s victory and hunter license and earning/deserving it was so good :’) 

also i feel like the show did a good job of humanizing characters like satotz. i legit thought he was a robot or st at first but it feels more like hes just A Guy now,....albeit a weird guy, but thats to be expected. its like, yeah this guy also took the hunter exam at one point, wow.

anways this is already long and i havent even gotten to the killua stuff yet lol so im gonna stop here for now. and introducing a new segment..........the prediction corner! where i dump my speculations/predictions, entirely for my future self’s benefit 

PREDICTIONS: 

first off as i alluded to above, i think that hisoka has some sort of connection to the phantom troupe (does he know them? maybe not, but he knows where to find them? idk) and when he saw kurapikas red eyes, was able to figure out that whole deal and said st to kurapika during that fight like ‘hey i can help you find the phantom troupe if you want :))))’ 

i kinda said this earlier but i predict that kurapika might get really wrapped up in revenge and go off the rails a bit. we’ll see, so far that hasnt really happened, but for some reason i kinda think that it will? we’ll see

i (incorrectly) predicted that killua would have known that illumi was there the whole time, considering that he was able to noticing the hunter exam dudes following him in phase 4, etc....but BOY was i wrong about that oof 

iiii think that the whole ‘the hunter exam isnt over yet!!!’ stuff will be an opportunity for killua to pass this year still, maybe? idk abt that tho 

i have more predictions but i forgot :( also some of them are more relevant to the next few eps ill make a post on 

[punkscowardschampions]

Billie & Indie

Billie: Indie! Pabs made frango a passarinho, you want in? Billie: also he said he saw you out at that boy in his year's party on Saturday Billie: you must not have seen him Billie: I got lunchtime detention for all the notes I was trying is pass you in Maths! Billie: Too busy 💤 or doodling, that is the question Indie: spitting dem bars all the way to my 💘 but nah itd be a mad treck from where i @ Indie: lo must have it twisted cos i aint rolling w dem younger rudeboys at no gatherings Indie: my bad tho Indie: too sleepy innit Indie: olders got partys for me to hit up standard Billie: where are you laying your head these days my dear? Billie: aside from your desk, naturally 😋 Indie: 😂😂 Indie: getting the zzzs i need there like Indie: wen im in im out for the count Billie: but what about all the times you're not in 🤔 Indie: in endz Indie: rollin w my boyz or my BOY you know Indie: its chill Billie: what does rolling entail exactly Billie: i'm unfamiliar Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: rolling up 🚬 standard but can be any thing Indie: hangin, chillin reh teh teh Indie: it be what it be, bills Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 tho Billie: I still feel like those are all just different words for the same thing Billie: which still eludes me but I'm glad you're having fun! Billie: We miss you though, don't you have any time to spare, pleaaaaaaaaaaaase Indie: what you need im here rn Indie: hit me w it Billie: I don't need anything, just want your company silly Indie: you got it Indie: we chatting Billie: Yes, of course Billie: but in person too, yes? Billie: It's not the same without you Indie: what you trying to see my face for? Indie: its still this Indie: [sends selfie] Billie: 😂 Billie: [sends back suitably silly selfie of own] Indie: living for it baby Indie: you looking 🔥 Billie: Thank you Billie: Now I got all the pink out Billie: surprisingly stubborn stuff Indie: mine got dashed mad fast Indie: must be dem curls holdin Billie: Yeah and mine isn't even as textured as some of the others Billie: thank god Ri didn't do it too Indie: she aint as extra as how we is Indie: blessed that i aint blood of ya cos my mans werent feelin the look Indie: hed be proper vexed if it stayed Billie: os homens não sabem nada Indie: this boy got plenty knowledge trust 😏 Billie: NADA 👏 Indie: you reping sound like the other mckenna rn Indie: something you wanna chat ? Billie: I don't need to come out, no Billie: but I appreciate the offer of a listening ear and open mind Indie: safe Indie: you down to mix me up 💘 potion? Indie: thatd be valued by me Billie: Why do you need it? I thought we were in love? Billie: Not you and me 😂 Indie: 😂 Indie: steady bills Indie: not trying to come for your sister & mckennas ⛈ Indie: let em have a min baby Billie: I don't think anyone is enjoying the rain Billie: we're safe to move on Indie: innit tho Indie: hold it for me @ school & ill come thru  yeah? Billie: Of course Billie: but what exactly do you want to happen? it changes what I have to do Indie: gotta keep him 😍😍😍😍😍😍 Indie: that mood Billie: That should be fine Billie: I can't force or influence freewill and fate, obviously but I can certainly help along what is there, that shouldn't be a problem Indie: what it gonna taste? Indie: not tryna make him 😵 Indie: not more than he like standard least 😂 Billie: It's okay, more than likely we'll get you to drink it Billie: then you can attract the love, if you see what I mean Indie: how it not gon attract some next man tho? Billie: with great power, Indigo Billie: you know how to control your allure, I trust 😂 Indie: mayb we swerve it Indie: not tryna get dashed for this like 💔 Billie: Well that shouldn't happen Billie: it's not viagra Indie: 😂😂 Billie: You seem worried Indie: nah Indie: all good Billie: Are you sure? Billie: I've got lots of things for anxiety and stress Indie: what i got to b flat roofin over? Indie: keep your stash Billie: you tell me Indie: nah im jam Indie: nothing to chat on Billie: Good Indie: how you b? Billie: Well, on reflection Billie: I'm okay most of the time but in general I'm quite sad Indie: 💔💔💔 Indie: you got no spells for it? Billie: I'm trying Billie: everything, every day Billie: but not everything can be sorted with magic Billie: not of that kind, anyway Indie: tru Indie: its a madness Indie: i feel it Billie: I know Billie: We've got to stick together Indie: ri aint here tho Indie: not how it can be Billie: Indie Indie: ? Billie: I think Edie has gone too Billie: lots of her stuff is gone Indie: she gon come back thru Indie: thats just how she rolls Indie: dont get it twisted & get 😢 Billie: I know but she usually only takes a bag Billie: if anything Indie: how you kno she not she not shoting her garms for the cash? Indie: gotta do what you gotta do innit Billie: Maybe you're right Indie: if you still got no peace after hot min come @ ri w it Indie: thats how she do making shit hectic again Indie: idk Indie: ma vibes like Billie: Like you said, she's not here either Billie: soon none of us will Indie: shes rollin deep w mckenna but she aint out your reach Indie: you in my inbox you can b in hers Billie: Not the same is it Indie: as face2face nah but better than no thing Indie: trust Billie: I guess so Billie: I hope she comes back Billie: it's horrible when we have to tell the police, they basically blame mum and dad Indie: the feds dont kno how to be anything but amp bringin the dred Indie: dont take it hard Billie: it was different the first few times Billie: now she's just a known runaway and they don't even try to help Billie: just get angry about the paperwork and wasted time Indie: they love to get vexed Indie: always on me too cos i got this face & name Billie: Yeah Billie: I thought they were meant to help Indie: nah baby they only bout helping theyselves Indie: sorry you had to get schooled on that like this Indie: been round me all days late cos the madness drew tryna live rn Indie: like i kno where hes @ Billie: I heard Billie: I always used to think it was a good thing when he went to prison Billie: is that bad Indie: nah man Indie: he heading back that kinda way rejoice in it if you wanna Indie: some good gotta come Billie: Selfish really Billie: but it meant you got to stay with us all the time and he wasn't around Billie: he messed with the vibes Billie: everything was bad when he was around Indie: speak your truth bills 😂 Indie: shots fired Billie: I'm sorry Billie: I try not to be hateful towards anyone but Indie: if you feel it you feel it Indie: whats acting like you dont gon do? Billie: I tend to think of it as wasted or at very least misplaced energy Billie: I try to feel sorry for people I don't get good energy from, or just ignore them Indie: i been knew about wasted energy fr 😂 waiting for my 🚀🚀 to hit like Indie: better energy be coming when i come up Billie: Does it work? Indie: yeah Indie: esp this new kick im on Billie: That's good Billie: what are the side effects Indie: depends what you trying to take Indie: dont be channelling the 👻 of my mas fix on your first go out Billie: I'm just working out the pros and cons Billie: doesn't it scare you? because you're mum died Indie: aint no thing that scares me Indie: we all going Indie: & she got me, not trying to let anything do me like how she went Billie: What's that like? Billie: I'm not scared of death but I'm in no great hurry Indie: its good Indie: nothing can touch me Indie: if im livin im livin if i aint i get to be this age forever 👻 Billie: That must be very reassuring Billie: What about good things though, can they touch you? Indie: how you mean? Billie: I mean, they say you have to know bad to know good Billie: so if you don't have that, do you get to have good or is untouchable outside of that Indie: i kno all it but it just dont be affecting me like that Indie: unless how i want it Indie: all good all the time Billie: Interesting Billie: I wish I could try it sometime Indie: i got you Indie: come thru & link me when Billie: Really? Billie: Okay Billie: I thought I might need a dead parent too Indie: is that tryin to be my key? idk Indie: i was reckonin on drews connections being that if there is Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 life Billie: I misunderstood slightly Billie: I thought that was what made you untouchable but in that case Billie: I'd be happy to try Indie: could be connected i cant speak on knowin Indie: i only got 1 dead ma & didnt get to kno her like that Billie: Yes, I would never ask you to share Indie: 😂 im saying i got others who aint Indie: so mayb its not a powerful thing Billie: we'll have to see Indie: not that i got em rn if you tryna test Billie: mothers or drugs? Billie: i'm lost Indie: mas Indie: you kno i always got the other Billie: Why not? Indie: we gone from each other Indie: like you said everyone is Billie: you just have to come round Billie: you know Indie: where? Billie: home Indie: but where that tryin to be now? Billie: Wherever your family is Indie: & who are they now? Billie: Whoever you choose Billie: us included, I hope Indie: nah Indie: it dont get to be however i want Billie: Why not? Indie: idk its not the way Indie: everyone tryin to tell me how to choose & aint listenin Billie: I'm listening Billie: and the universe Billie: What do you want, Indie? Indie: I want it how it was Indie: nah i want him gone and her back Billie: Yeah Billie: Me too Billie: I think we all do Billie: I'm thinking on ways to make it so Indie: but even if she comes home it aint gonna be for me just you Indie: we got too much beef Billie: I didn't know Billie: what happened? Indie: she got no love for me rn cos i trying to keep my mans Indie: she dont understand how i feel Billie: I see Billie: Did you tell her? Indie: yeah but she aint trying to kno she just wanna be vexed and tell me how to be Indie: shit gets too heated Billie: She'll calm down Billie: it's nothing to lose a sister over is it Indie: tell her Indie: she aint spoke to me since i got my ink Indie: she said she aint here for me its done Billie: I know she didn't mean that Billie: do you actually want me to talk to her for you? I can Indie: what you think you gonna say? Indie: she aint gonna be about me unless i dash him Billie: You're more important to her than that Billie: I'll just tell her you want to talk Indie: i cant Indie: i aint got no energy to be fighting w her Indie: hes here & she aint that decides it Billie: Okay Billie: It's up to you Indie: nah Indie: no things up to me they are how they are Billie: If you don't try to change them, yeah Billie: not saying you have to Indie: girl i aint got power like that i aint you Billie: If I had any more than you she'd be back already Billie: but you have to try, right? Billie: Passivity is still a choice Indie: it hurts Billie: I know Billie: but it doesn't feel Billie: good, lack of a better word Billie: accepting how it is either, does it? Indie: nah but its easier to act than trying & getting owned for it Indie: you feel me? Indie: if you gotta let stuff in where you gonna stop Billie: Hmm Billie: Good question Billie: When the stuff is more bad than it is good Indie: how you measuring Indie: shits such a heavy mix Billie: That's the trick, isn't it Billie: Depends how much bad you're willing to take Billie: they aren't equal, bad deeds weigh much heavier Billie: there'd need to be a lot more good to counteract them Indie: hear this, if a boy makes me feel everything that's bad and its good Indie: he hurts me and he wants me Indie: is it equal or nah? Billie: I can't tell you what you can deal with, only what I think you should Billie: and it doesn't sound equal to me Indie: but maybe close as imma get Indie: w how lads be Indie: they want what they want and how they want it & if he wants me then thats good Billie: What's good about it? Indie: feelin the love Indie: like who we tryna measure him against? mckenna? your da? idk thats a madness Indie: they grown Billie: I don't think all boys are like that Billie: or men Billie: there's an inbetween Indie: is it tho Billie: 'course Billie: we're not like lots of girls at school but we're not grown either Indie: idk maybe ive got things twisted Indie: or maybe i cant hit you w the real words Billie: That's alright, you don't need to Billie: get it right for yourself though, that's important, even if it takes a while Indie: what if rio been right & she hates me Billie: She doesn't hate you, for one Billie: and she's not going to hit you with an 'I told you so' Billie: give her a chance Indie: i gotta hit her up Indie: imma do it Billie: Well done Billie: I'm so sure it'll be worth it Indie: youre sick Indie: 💖💖💖 Billie: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 Indie: real 👑 moves Indie: im not about to forget it Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 or nah Billie: 'Course not 😊 just try to see my notes next time 😂 Indie: innit tho Indie: come find me when he aint around Billie: 👍 Will do