#idk if i do tbh i may change it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rafeandonlyrafe · 8 months

Text

hey yall! it's rafeandonlyrafe (aka kt/katie). sorry for any panic i may have caused by deleting my old blog but it was a secondary account under i blog i really wanted to get rid of! so im back with this username as my main account and will be going through the process of reuploading all my old fics, but not tonight, because im seeing the other zoey in the morning!!

my old blog was football/soccer fanfiction and i recently became uncomfortable with writing for them. i received a lot of negative messages about this choice, so i decided the best thing i could do for myself was to completely start fresh. i would have warned people but it was a very rash decision that had to be done for my mental health, and i feel SUCH a big weight off my shoulders now just having this account.

also also i will be taking a littleeeee step away from writing only because im working on something REALLY exciting... a novel! that i'm planning to self publish on amazon. im sure it won't be good, but i've always wanted to write a full length book and i have some free time right now to write it so im going to go for it! i will not stop writing fics but they probably will slow down (even though i know i wasnt exactly consistent before)

#considered briefly remaking this under drewandonlydrew #bc i kinda want to write for trevor...#and probably zach after watching the movie tomorrow #but rafe is like. my real one love lol #also do we like the new layout #idk if i do tbh i may change it #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #obx fics #outer banks fics

25 notes · View notes

whimsyprinx · 1 year

Text

I feel like now is a good time to announce that I’m in the process of moving blogs! Im doing so for a few reasons, the main one being paranoia, so for that reason I won’t be saying my new urls publicly so like please dm me if you’d like my new url so you can follow me there! I’ll be reblogging this post a lot so ppl can see it (so sorry if you get annoyed by that)!

I’m also remaking my discord account as well so if we’re friends on there then feel free to message me for my new username!

friends and mutuals please do reblog so shared friends/mutuals have a higher chance seeing it!

#whimsy whispers #I’m just like ahdjfjjg #I’ve been considering remaking blogs for a few years now (as some of you may know) and like simply changing urls isn’t enough #no matter how many times I chnage urls the paranoia won’t go away and I think that starting a new blog is the best choice #idk what to do if my newest blog gets found by the ppl I’m paranoid about like idk the odds of that are low (I hope) alas I’m still anxious #about it #for some slight context: I’ve had several people now pop up in my life pretending to be other people/several people and while I’ve blocked #then on every social media account I interacted with them in im still paranoid about them lurking #and then like there’s other reasons to remake as well #I’m tired of this blog like I love it it’s been fun but I think starting over will be nice #tbh this is the longest I’ve had a blog without remaking I usually remake accounts every so often #I don’t intend to remake my next blog like at all but like agdhjfjg I have a habit of getting bored of accounts and staring over (usually #this applies to art accounts like y’all wouldn’t believe how many deviantart accounts I’ve had)#uhhhh idk I’ve been rambling for too long #I have this in drafts rn but you should be seeing this post soon

490 notes · View notes

photon-crest-art · 7 months

Text

Something something glass wasn't strong enough

#toontown corporate clash #TTCC #Gatekeeper #Holly Grayelle #Shitpost #2023 art #Meme redraw #Tbh I've been wanting to do this for a few months now #And surprisingly motivation wasn't the main reason why I didn't work on it til now!#I couldn't find the source image up until recently #Holly design here may change in the future (If I even draw her again). Idk yet

81 notes · View notes

nonokoko-draws · 4 months

Text

Do you guys see my vision

#bucchigiri?!#bucchigiri #marito jin #jin marito #nonokoko's art #my edits #I hit him with the trans beam. Mahoro is trans too btw #Their parents expected a boy and a girl and they sure had them lol #sorry if the top surgery scars are weird it's my first time coloring them instead of letting them in black so idk what I was doing #I just complicated my life x10 harder by giving him more tattoos? Yeah I did now I'll have to remember them and draw them *le sigh*#trans headcanon #not entirely convinced in letting his lower tattoo have the same colors as the butterfly. May change that detail #not proud of the result it looked better in my doodle phase tbh like what's up with that arm. Oh well #giving snake inspo features to characters related with snakes on their design in some way is my passion. Long live animal characteristics #♡ — my art #artists on tumblr #character headcanons #IMPORTANT FACT: the scars are supposed to resemble the S from Siguma that's why they are rounder than normal scars would look like

31 notes · View notes

darkartistyt · 15 days

Text

basically that one part of The Reigant Squares

#i might colour this later #anyway first attempt at watson and holmes designs. they may or may not stick idk #tbh if i do change them theyll probably end up closer to john wilson and herlock sholmes from dgs bc i like them :)#my art #acd sherlock holmes #sherlock holmes #john watson

14 notes · View notes

tricksterlatte · 5 months

Text

Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?

#I may be venting a lil but god it blows my mind #fyp is a blessing and a curse because i don't think ppl were ever meant to be subjected to this many ppl at once #god i took a bird site hiatus for weeks and now BARELY check it and it already feels like a hit #oughhhhh #even fandom spaces have hugely incorporated marketing and networking into them bc of cmms and sponsorship and building portfolio #which would be fine tbh if it weren't for the way socmed is designed #now it's like you can't support too many ppl or else you're shadow banned or you have to make yourself palatable and marketable #and websites with threads in which people will only read the first post before qrting because ratios are seen as five minutes of fame #features that permit beating an algorithm are locked behind a paywall that promises you money if you go viral #and what goes viral is usually incendiary content meant for those ratios or trends. whether for or against OP #even in hobbyist spaces the climate has changed so much due to the monetization and marketing and just. ugh #not to mention side accounts dedicated to gossip in this new priv account culture like...idk #if you have to make another account so you can make fun of a friend on main with selected priv friends it just doesn't sit well with me #and not every priv account does this but enough do and it makes me tired #unsolicited hate comments are still as bad as they used to be on ff dot net except now people openly are proud of it more #why do most socmed feel like passive aggressive sticky notes on high school lockers #there is so much more I could say about everything that has left me weary about the internet but I don't know the time or place #and I don't want anyone to think this is about them because it's a general statement. though if you are doing the more inflammatory things.#maybe rethink that. it's not good for anyone else and it's not good for you either #I keep coming back online to check on ppl and see art and I *know* it's draining for my health every time #but I feel a lot better now that i use socmed less overall. and that I try to focus on what makes me happy #it just sucks seeing so many people i care about endure absolutely wild struggles bc people online do not care.#I like rambling in my tags because this is the only place I ramble except my personal journal and to my wife

20 notes · View notes

michi-chelle · 7 months

Text

recommendations for resources or reading material about queer polyamorous relationships?

#lgbtqia #polyamory #now i swore to myself i’d never be in a monogamous relationship #even the word ‘relationship’ and the weight it carries in my head is pretty scary #but i may or may not have entered a poly relationship with this person i’ve been seeing for a few months now #we discussed it and it doesn’t entail much besides what we’ve already been doing honestly #but tbh i’m really scared of this and i can’t quite put my finger on why #and i’ve told this person too even as i agreed to try this out #idk…i’ve never been in a relationship let alone a queer one and let alone a poly one #a relationship that i have an idea on how to tackle only as a theory in my head from what i’ve read about it recently #i don’t think it’s that serious because again we haven’t changed much of what we’ve been doing but idk like i said #i feel like there’s a new weight and i’m nervous about it #help #michi yaps

4 notes · View notes

mydr3aminvi0let · 1 month

Text

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back #sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with #idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that #community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize #bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought #he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive #i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better #so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH #my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body #believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how #as a woman #can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids #when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me #when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison #in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty #i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing #but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with #reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers #tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like #i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming #you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in #i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement #singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now #there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart

1 note · View note

kibblemaniac · 6 months

Text

its definitely wishful thinking, but one day i hope i can be a big enough of an artist to work on things like phone designs (ui, wallpapers, etc), advertising, product design, collaborations, generally designing real products and not just my ocs

#i know i mainly do character design but...#graphic design is my passion #guys if i end up working on phones i will try to bring back frutiger aero stuff #and like those pictures you see on pinterest with the chocolate bar phone cases #in yui94 we trust guys #yui94 #not art #also off topic but i may?? rebrand?? idk i dont like the name yui94 that much #thinking of changing it to either koolaidlamp or kibblemaniac #that might mean redrawing the cover cover art for raw fruit cuz of the 'created by yui nazami' thing #but tbh ive been wanting to redraw it anyways im not that happy with it #like the chapter cover is really cute but the cover cover is just..... her torso looks so tiny.......

2 notes · View notes

todayisafridaynight · 1 year

Note

which character in Yakuza do you think has the best development?

everyone gonna say im biased but genuinely daigo has my favorite character development throughout the series

#snap chats #he's the only one with any real notable character growth tbh if i may be so daring to say #aside from kashiwagi too tbh. i also really love his change but bro's here for like three games so 💀#i think its just that his is more abundant #he goes from a punk to being a responsible man and i love it every time i acknowledge it #like yeah he fumbles around a bit but we see him figure things out and sort himself out and it's really great to watch #it feels satisfying almost- even if he ultimately has to end the thing he fought so hard for in the name of kiryu #tho daigo willing to end it opposed to be obstinate and continue to fight against it is pretty big for his character #idk i just dont think people give daigo's character the credit it deserves #like hes not loud or overly flashy he's very much in the background but i guess thats why i love him #like his changes dont come with a kind of fanfare or obvious Aha moment on screen- its just something you notice over time #well maybe except in Y2 where we DO get that pivotal This Is His Changing Point moment #but after that we just see him grow and try to get comfortable in his new position as chairman #sorry i have Daigo Lover disease. its terminal i was watching a clip of him earlier and felt my heart grow three sizes

15 notes · View notes

vaugarde · 1 year

Text

bonking my head to finish that ask blog story update but rn my mind has a changeling infestation apparently bc all i wanna do is make concepts for the changelings specifically in my future au

#i have it sketched out and im gonna try and do more tonight after i eat something #but... i wanna make changeling designs. so bad.#also calling it a future au instead of a nextgen bc idk if thats appropriate for what im doing?#bc nextgen kinda implies everyones getting a kid and im making a ton of kids to make a storyline with #and idk i kinda just wanna fling some designs on the wall to see if they stick and think abt fluff #i also had a barebones idea for chrysalis that i dont think is entirely original but still makes me wanna delve into her character #3 of my fave characters are thorax ocellus and pharynx so i just. forget abt THE queen #the one who gave us the banger that is the season 2 finale #speaking of which i may continue my mlp lb into season 2 if bluey doesnt grip me #at this point im putting off xy AND magireco tbh lol. tho i may just drop the latter ive kinda accepted that im not gonna enjoy it #i dooo wanna try out a mg anime but i got my mind tangled last night with ''oh do i wanna watch the tmm reboot''#do i wanna watch smile precure dubbed or subbed bc apparently the dub sucks but its harder for me to get into subs...#so. putting those on the backburner til i can at least see what i can find online #idk if netflix has the original smilepre (ik it has glitter force) but idk if i can see it without changes and such #echoed voice #also if i do continue mlp i may or may not continue into season 3 since thats short. but def taking a break on season 4 #and idk if ill continue after that tbh. if i do im only doing select episodes it doesnt look very worth it lmao

11 notes · View notes

arielluva · 1 year

Text

drew my random card guy again for the 5th time!!

#my art #original character #original art #idk why i redraw him every year tbh #i was very proud of the original when i first drew it which is probably why i drew it again the next year since my art style changed so #drastically and then. i guess i just kept doing it? so now its a thing i do every may #or. well. last year i think was from july. but close enough #also the original from 2019 was one of the first few drawings i did using the watercolor brush which is my main brush now!! pretty cool to #see how i've improved with it over time :D #art improvement #2023

3 notes · View notes

carp-esh-ove-lem · 1 year

Text

i think me making a dropout/d20/naddpod sideblog is inevitable at this point

#ty xeph my beloved for givin me the final push to get dropout #dam i dont even remember if there was a specific thing u did xD i had been wantin to get it for a while already tbh #anyways i wanna look at naddpod stuff on here so bad but also started from the beginning and ;-; spoilers #lol it’s so weird it’s been YEARS since ive been invested in a fandom/media n cared abt (or even had the opportunity to care abt) spoilers #tbh i usually dont care but even if i did #a lot of the time the content ends up easy to catch up on yknow? limited series & books and stuff n all #or fuckinnnn yt series that u dont need to be caught up from the beginning lol #this however. i do Want to experience the story for realsies n all that #anyways. the sideblog is definitely fuckin happening imma be real #idk when i’ll stop being a coward and *nike voice* just do it #but it’ll happen it is quite literally inevitable. ive gone past the point of no return #i Do need to dwell on a url though. that may take A Bit (read: far too long)#i think i was considering maybe a silly dumb ref to andhera from acofaf #bc that was the first campaign i watched and they are Best Boy. god i fucking love andhera #but also. man idk #ikikik ik u can change urls l8r but this is How I Am *awkward smile*#i Need a silly little ref that Satisfies Me. it doesnt even hafta be a good or recognizable reference (<- historically true)#but it’s gotta be good to Me Personally bc im ~like that~ teehee #anyways screaming crying How will i ever catch up to naddpod #i mean tbf. im at ep 26 for first campaign and it’s been maybe a week? maybe under (or over??) a bit??#so theoretically it hopefully wont take me more than 2 months to finish bahumia campaign even w school starting factored in #hopefully. idk #d20 shit is gonna take 50 goddamn yrs tho xD im in my naddpod arc rn #and all ive seen is acofaf and most of coffin run. and am keepin up w neverafter ofc #and idk even which intrepid hero campaign to go for next. i was thinkin unsleeping city but like damn i dont even know for sure yet #ALSO i HAVE to watch mice&murder first now. idk if it’s any good but Conceptually im just. oh my god i need to get my grubby lil hands on it #but again. before that im In My Naddpod Arc currently and im like. most of the way thru coffin run. god i’ll finish it i promise #it just didnt Grip me as much as the other stuff ive consumed so far. i dont dislike it tho; it’s cool but brain didnt stick as hard #and im like literally one episode from finishing too. like 20 min of the penultimate and the final one thats it #anyway im evidently fuckin rambling i’ll shut up now

3 notes · View notes

picturesque-score · 2 years

Text

my bed at school is so comfortable

#i remember my first night this semester and i slept more soundly than i had since fucking may when i had covid #i never did take my bed at home for granted because it was for real my safe space for like ever #but when i lost it that summer to motel beds it made me appreciate a good sleep even more #i’m realizing now that i did not sleep good once this summer besides the two nights at my aunt’s and even then i was filled with dread #and hatred tbh #what a wasted summer im so #im trying not to get pressed over it bc what happened has happened and i cant change it #but god i miss the way things used to be #there’s comfort in the familiarity of toxic situations #which is by no means good #but i do miss it because i didn’t really think and i just went numb and that feeling was easy #ugh i feel like i have to write about this idk #maybe i’ll channel it into a south park fic because i’ve been meaning to write fic again and i can project onto stan #lol #anyway my college bed is so comfortable i love it and im so grateful for it #these tags are always so adhd oops

2 notes · View notes

chisatowo · 2 years

Text

How does Hagumi manage to have so much transmasc swag and transfem swag at the same time. I mean it's the various layers of gender issues but yknow

#rat rambles #band posting #I personally am a transfem hagumi believer but transmasc hagumis are also so pog #I do see some ppl misenterpret her relationship with presenting femininly though which is unfortunate but eh #anyways I am simply thinking abt hagumi very hard she is the world's most specialist little guy #and abt bandori in general mostly abt the 6th anniversary update #I am so SO excited for it still but also nervous but also excited #bndori is generally pretty good abt resolving character stuff and sticking with arcs so Im hopeful they wont just completely fuck shit up #despite what some may believe bndori is in fact well written usually lol #I mostly care abt what they do with pasupare though since it feels like theyve been building up to smth with them for a while now #as Ive said before I rly rly want them to go independant but idk if that would be too big a change or not #tbf though most of them graduating is itself a big change and itd make a lot of sense with their 3rd band story so Im holding onto hope #also I just need it for chisato's sake gkgndkrg #anyways I wonder how hagumi will handle kaoru and kanon graduating #I doubt itll be too badly but I could see it potentially rubbinh against her anxiety depending on how much it effects tgeir timr together #tbh Im just a lil curious abt how much theyll bring up how the bandmates of the graduating ppl feel #jusr more fun stuff they can cover in future events ig vkgnfh

6 notes · View notes

pizzapizzadickz · 2 years

Text

...somedays are just so much worse than others. Lately, I've been caught up in thinking, yet again, what if I'm faking everything. Well. Not that persay. More like. What if everything I think is going on is actually based on something false. And it sucks. Bc. I just start to worry that I cannot fix anything. Idk. Its just. Its nice to have an answer to things. And it'd hurt if my answer is wrong I suppose. You could show me all the evidence in the world and in the end I still won't believe it. I'll still think im wrong somehow. But at the same time I believe I'm right. How odd is that?

Ever since ive been young I've always questioned myself like that. I used to question who I am and what makes up me. And I never rly had an answer. I always just felt hollow and out of place. Even now that's all I feel.

Sometimes I can tell my thinking is heavily distorted. And honestly sometimes I question if it's ever not.

#diary #personal #its a little ramble-y i guess. idk if anyone but me can understand this. but its hard to put into words...#more and more i just feel this giant glass wall between me and everything else.#sometimes ive been thinking if anything is real. just. idk.#but even more than that i just keep doubting everything i think. maybe if i just tried harder. mayber if i was a better person...#maybe then that wouldntve happened. maybe if i just did more id be functional.#and. its just been a really hard day today. mn. really bad.#i dont rly eanna go into details tbh. but me and my dad fought again and everythings changed again and i dont like it.#mn. but in the end. the reason why im going to therapy is bc ive tried just working harder.#just. ignoring everything. and unfortunately it doesnt seem like everything is all in my head #well. i mean some of it LITTERALLY is all in my head. well i mean really the whole human experience is kinda sorta.#but. the things i get exhausted for. the things i just feel like i cant do anymore. theyre real #i guess thats a comfort at least. i may not know why i cannot function. but at least the pain i feel is real i suppose #haha. but what if thats like. just malfunctioning hardware. haha. ha.#i hate this loop. its probably like an ocd obsesive thought spiral. i do this a lot.#bc in the end this is probably one thing i cant actually prove or think my way out of.#bc i know the human experience is innately flawed. we easily could be in a simulation. and bc of that i discount nothing.#mn. its. getting sorta dissociatey or depersonalizationy now. i should stop n sleep.#im just rly sad. i was a bit too honest with mom today about dad and everything hurts now.#...somedays i rly dont wanna be alive. not bc i wanna die. just. im really really tired. its easier when things are laid out for me #when i know that if x happens i do y. and i dont like this autonomy i have sometimes. sometime i wish i didnt have it. haha.#suicidal ideation #...i dont know how the fuck i can talk to a therapist about all of this. or how useful itd even be. in the end it feels like im not me.#im. sorta scared of myself. and tired of it. i dont like the way i react. the way i am. im so scared.#i have to deliberate so long on something thatd take someone else no time. and its pitiful sometimes #trying to keep up with everything like this is exhausting.#i. sometimes i wonder what id actually be like if so many things were different. but its a useless question. bc they arent #in the end all you can do is move forward with the current you. nothing more. nothing less.#even if i dont rememebr the past or its different from what i recal. i suppose its okay. bc the now is my truth in the end.

2 notes · View notes