#idk if that's a tag people use but just in case I guess lol

[minecraft-sideblog-tm]

Jimmy pranking Joel by literally just putting glass blocks in the floor gaps and stilts under the base to claim the floating base was all a facade is so simple but SO funny

[lizard-on-a-window-pane]

When the Levee Breaks pt.1

pairing: Remus Lupin x reader

tags / warnings: friends to lovers fluff then smut, mutual pining, smoking weed (be responsible irl), high sex, explicit descriptions of oral (f receiving), fem!reader

NSFW notes: A LARGE PORTION OF THIS FIC IS NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS; DO NOT READ IT IF IT ISN'T APPROPRIATE FOR YOU! HOWEVER, because such a long portion (like 2/3) has no sexual material (except for the implication at the very beginning), i have clearly marked where it becomes NSFW in case any age-appropriate readers want to read only up to that point (i know some people just want fluff not smut even if they're of age, and that's so chill); i will say there is drug use before then, so still adult material, but fluffy around that; please please be responsible for your content consumption

random notes: set in the late 70's / early 80's, following canon of when the marauders would've met but the rest of the world building (e.g. au) left ambiguous title inspired by a song on one of the albums mentioned idk why this turned out similar to The Prettiest Star with Sirius Black, but i guess my fantasy is just to listen to music intensely with someone then fuck lovingly lol

word count: 6.4k

hope you enjoy! thank you if you read it! 🫶

You watch as his long fingers, practiced and adept, roll the spliff. You liked this part. You could stare at his hands under the guise of watching the rolling. Remus didn’t have to know how far from pot your mind wandered when you did. He didn’t have to know it made you wonder every time what else he could do with this fingers. Imagine how they would feel on you. In you. 

At the thought, you squirm where you’re seated on his settee next to him. He chuckles in a low tone. 

“Antsy?” 

“No.” 

He can tell you’re lying. You can tell he can tell. But you don’t care. As long as he can’t tell why you’re lying, it doesn’t matter, and you can keep wriggling.

“Whatever you say, jitterbug.” 

Your wringing hands catch his attention, and his eyes fix on them even as his hands continue their work. 

“Next time, you’re rolling it,” he says through a smile. “There’d be nothing left to smoke by the time you finished shaking it everywhere,” he laughs, too amused with himself, giggling as if he were already high. 

“Remus?” you start, and he shakes his head and chuckles, loving how you get when he teases you. 

“What?” he smiles, eyebrows shooting up at you, both a welcome and a challenge for you to say whatever you’re about to. 

“Can you remind me who provided this wonderful gift on this wonderful afternoon?” You shake the baggy you brought to his flat not 15 minutes ago. 

He laughs, now nodding, and concedes, “You’re right, sunshine. I should be so grateful.”

Remus brings the spliff to his mouth to lick the edge of the paper, and your retort gets caught in your throat as you fixate on his tongue. 

A bit too late, a bit too quiet for your usual banter, you say, “You should be, Moons. I can still take it home and smoke by myself.”

“Oh now I’ve rolled it for you, yeah? Didn’t realize you were just here for my services. Should’ve known you were just pretending to love me till you got what you wanted.” He holds up his finished work — a beauty really — in front of you as he finishes his joke. You hum affirmatively, taking it from him and looking it over. 

You inspect it exaggeratedly and with a theatrical sense of casual satisfaction tell him, “Hm, not bad. I was starting to regret the long con, but I think this was worth it.” 

He’s giggling as he gets up, bumping his body against yours before he does, going toward his record collection. He walks over lazily, unhurriedly, his bare feet quiet on the floor, his hand coming up to mess with his hair. His loose, comfy clothes do a lot to hide the muscles you know are lean but strong underneath.

“Come help me choose,” he says over his shoulder as he falls to one knee to scan a lower shelf. Almost a whole wall of his small apartment is covered in shelves, boxes, stacks of records. It looks a mess, but it’s actually meticulously organized by release date.

You follow him, come up just behind him. You crouch, too, not all the way down like him. You lean on him, resting your head atop his, bringing your arms around his shoulders and neck. 

He moans casually, seeming happy, and grabs your arms where they fall across his chest. 

“Oh, Rem. You should know…”

“Hm?” he asks, looking up at you. You look down at him, seeing his warm smile upside down. 

“This is the real reason I’ve pretended to be your friend all these years,” you fake seriousness as you nod toward the records. Remus rolls his eyes, but his smile stretches further across his lovely face. It pulls on a long scar that runs down his cheek. 

“And may I ask how you knew when we were eleven that one day I would own such an epic collection?” 

“Easy. You wore a Led Zeppelin t-shirt one of the first days we knew each other.”

He’s taken aback by your giving an actual answer. 

“Did I really?”

“Yeah,” you shrug, smiling down at him. The warmth of reminiscing about those childhood years softening you. 

“I think I remember that shirt,” he smiles nostalgically. “How do you remember that?” He twists in your embrace, coming to sit on the floor and pulling you with him. You’re sitting close to each other, and he’s watching you, rapt. 

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I remember being so nervous and lonely at the beginning. Wanting to make friends. And you seemed nice, so I noticed you.” You shrug again, look down for a moment, not wanting to express embarrassment at a more honest recollection: you had a crush on him immediately, even back then, even before you were really sure what it was you were feeling — that came with the years that followed. “The day you wore that shirt, it was like something familiar I could latch onto. Someone who liked something I liked.” Remus is smiling adoringly at you. Listening as intently as he is, looking as giddy, he looks like a child at the greatest story time ever from his seat on the floor. 

“I even tried to talk to you about it,” you confess, cringing teasingly at yourself.

“Yeah?” He sits up straighter like a puppy hearing someone at the door. 

“Yeah,” you exhale. 

“I don’t remember that happening.”

“That’s because it didn’t,” you laugh. “I said tried to talk to you. I got too nervous and ran to hide before I could get the words out.” 

He’s shaking his head in disbelief, his smile still plastered on his face.

“I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed you yet.” Remus looks especially contemplative for a moment then hums, biting his lower lip. “It’s crazy. Trying to think of my life before you is like remembering a blank canvas.” 

Your cheeks warm and so does your heart. 

You’re smiling a beaming smile at him but say, “There wasn’t much to notice. I was pretty quiet. And besides, your attention probably couldn’t handle a single thing more given you were getting to know Sirius and James.” He laughs lightly at the good memories but shakes his head at you a little more pronouncedly. 

“I’m sure there was a lot to notice. I was just an idiot. And quiet, too. By comparison to that lot anyway. They spoke enough for the three of us. I probably would’ve wimped out if I’d tried to talk to a pretty girl like you back then.” The edges of his entrancing brown eyes crinkled from his smile. “I mean… to be honest… I’d get nervous for a while, talking to you at first.”

“You didn’t,” you tease but secretly really want to hear more.  

“I did, yeah. Of course I did,” he laughs at himself. “I had a big crush on you. James and Sirius wouldn’t let me live it down for ages.” 

You’re shocked at this news. And maybe your face shows it. What it doesn’t show is how desperately your mind is racing, questioning: “Wait, could things have been otherwise? Did he actually like me as more than a friend at some point? Did I ruin it somehow?”

Remus tenses slightly, his smile no longer reaching his eyes, which are attentive at your reaction. 

“That was a long time ago,” he jokes to fill the silence that is beginning to stretch too long, his tone awkward.

“What happened?” you whisper, unable to help it. 

He takes a second to answer, like he doesn’t know what to say. He’s searching your face, and you’re not sure how much he can read there. 

He shrugs. His face gives an “I don’t know” scowl. He’s trying to escape answering, but you don’t let him.

“Remus,” you laugh and shove him playfully. 

“I don’t know,” he giggles. “I don’t know. Then I got to know you I guess. And we became friends.” 

You give a scoffy laugh. You know he probably didn’t mean it that way, but your stomach sinks at the idea that getting to know you would remedy him of his crush. You’re staring at the floor when his voice breaks you out of your thoughts. 

“Hey, you okay?” He’s trying to keep the playful atmosphere, but you hear true concern in his tone. “Did I say something I shouldn’t’ve?”

You want to say “yes,” but you wouldn’t be able to tell him which part. So, you don’t say anything.

“I didn’t think you’d mind, after all these years,” he says more softly.

“No, Rem. Of course I don’t mind.” You shake your head as if dismissing the idea, attempting a laugh that still comes out strained. “I was just surprised is all.” 

He’s watching you, nodding subtlety, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. 

“Let’s choose something, yeah?” you nod next to you toward the wall, desperate to redirect attention.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘course.” Remus turns toward the records, skimming across his stacks. A thought catches him, and he moves purposefully toward a different shelf.

“What are you thinking?” you notice, your interest piqued. 

“1971,” he says as if it’s an answer. It is to you. 

1971: the year you met. 

He pulls out a well-worn record, and the strain on your smile finally dissipates to easy delight. You come stand next to him, and he hands it to you. 

“Do you remember how much we listened to that then?” he asks. 

“How could I forget,” you smile, your fingers tracing the cover of Led Zeppelin IV. 

It came out November 1971, but neither of you could get it till at least a month later, during Christmas break from school. When you finally did, the two of you listened to it nonstop. You absolutely loved the album, but you knew you listened to it that much because it was an easy excuse to hang out with Remus. You’d been listening to music together, often just the two of you, ever since.

“Fuck, I remember we’d listen to it in my room,” Remus reminisces. “And even Sirius, the biggest Zeppelin fan of us all, couldn’t take it anymore,” he laughs. “He’d turn it off when he found us listening to it, scolding us for ‘abusing a sacred thing.’”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Oh, look at this,” Remus startles you, excited. He pulls another record off the same shelf.

“This is too perfect,” he giggles. “I didn’t remember this came out then,” he muses, looking it over. “Probably didn’t get my hands on it till much later, I guess. But it’s like it was made for us. For you.” He hands you Just As I Am by Bill Withers, but you still don’t get what he’s saying. He sees your confused look and chuckles. “Second track,” he hints. Your eyes land on “Ain’t No Sunshine.” 

“Sunshine”: Remus’s nickname for you for years. You had Sirius to thank for it actually. He’d said you and Remus were like yin and yang. And since you all already called him “Moony,” you had to be “Sunny.” The other three of you cringed at the sound of that, so he tried “sunshine” instead, conceding it was close enough, and it stuck. Over the years, Sirius and James used it less and less, Remus more and more.

“It’s your song,” Remus urges, knocking his shoulder against yours. “There literally can’t be sunshine when you’re gone because you are sunshine.” He sounds too excited, and it’s adorable. 

“You sound like Sirius saying he’s serious,” you tease. He just laughs and takes the record back.

“Whatever, grumpy. It’s an epic song, and you know it, and now it’s yours, and I don’t care if that’s cheesy.”

“I love it,” escapes you, teasing tone gone. His eyes snap to yours, and he looks at you warmly.

“Alright, sunshine,” he whispers. A beat. “Wanna listen to it?” he asks, voice almost normal again. You nod gladly then go back to the sofa as he sets it up.

Remus soon comes back and joins you. He grabs the spliff from between stacks of snacks you’d prepared for the afternoon then looks over at you.

“Ready, sunshine?”

“Mhhm.”

“You do the honours.” He hands it to you and grabs the lighter. Rather than handing that to you too, he lights it for you as it dangles from your parted lips. 

You take a long drag, feeling it enter you and welcoming it. You cough lightly as you exhale slowly. You are no novice but are still always a cougher. Remus still always giggles when you do, but it’s never mocking. He has a glass of water ready for you, knowing you well, always looking after you. You trade him the water for the spliff, which he proceeds to hit with equal enthusiasm and less wheezing.  

You pass it back and forth for a little while. It’s strong stuff and just three hits in, you feel it engulfing you. The settee feels softer; the music sounds better. 

“Ain’t No Sunshine” is playing, and in your dazed state, you’re sure this is going to be the peak of the album even if it doesn’t coincide with the peak of your high. You close your eyes, and you can feel the music on your skin. 

Remus chuckles next to you, and your face turns to him.

“You look so stoned right now,” he explains, giddy. 

“That’s because I am,” you laugh. Once you start laughing it’s hard to stop; once Remus joins, it’s almost impossible. 

You chat easily, observations and jokes from both of you greatly benefitting from the induced assistance. Remus has a revelation about your listening to HI-fi while high. Your mind is blown multiple times at how deep the lyrics are. 

“They’re all talkin’ at him, but he doesn’t hear a word they’re sayin’, Moons! Not a word! I should do that,” you tell him as if it’s the most urgent thing in the world. He cracks up. “He’s so right, you know? Gotta keep the sun shining through the pouring rain, you know?”

“Uh-huh, I know, sunshine, I know,” he just laughs at you.

“You have such a nice smile, Moony,” you observe, dazed just as much from the feelings perambulating through your system than the pot doing the same.

“Yeah?” he asks, exaggerating it till he’s all teeth and squinty eyes. 

“Yeah,” you laugh. “It looked funny upside down over there,” you remember. “Watch!” 

You flip over on the sofa till your feet are up where your neck should rest and your head is dangling off the edge where your knees would normally be. You smile up at him. Remus doubles over laughing with you, bringing his face much closer to yours as he leans into it. 

“You’re right. Looks funny,” he tells you much more softly than you expected after his cackling. He watches you intently then brings a hand to your upside down face. He traces your features lightly, and it’s warm and tingly. His long finger travels down your nose, across your eyebrows. 

“C’mere,” you whisper to him.

“Where?” he whispers back, his voice a gruff chuckle again. 

“Down here!” you whisper-yell. 

You pull his shoulder down and start kicking his legs up as he contorts until you get him in the same position as you. You end up side by side, upside-down on the sofa. 

Each of you giggles at the other as you steal side glances. Your faces, pulled the wrong way by gravity, softened more than normal by the smoking, look even goofier through your incessant giggles and pointless efforts at holding those back.

You listen, and laugh, to at least a whole song like this. You kick each other’s feet throughout. As one of your kicks brings you closer to Remus, he rolls over to tickle you. You laugh so loud you can’t even hear the record over it. 

“Stop, Rem! Stop!” you plead. “I’m already too dizzy.” 

He keeps it up a moment but soon takes pity on you and helps move your body the right way around, his strong hands manipulating you easily. 

“Alright, dizzy. Enough upside-down,” he says as he fixes your now crazy hair. 

You just nod and shift closer to him. You rest your head on his shoulder, and he shuffles to a comfortable height for you, laying his own head on yours. 

A primary reason you enjoy getting high with Remus: you both get snuggly. You’re touchy normally, even more than most best friends you’ve seen, but not overly so. When you’re high, it’s overly so. But it somehow doesn’t feel weird. In fact, it feels wonderful. 

So, it feels wonderful, not weird, when you absentmindedly reach over for his hand. He gives it to you easily, and you begin caressing it. 

“Your skin is so soft, Rem.” You pull his hand closer to you, bringing it close to your face, looking it at like you’ve never seen a hand before. Remus takes the opportunity and quickly grabs at your nose playfully. You giggle at this as he responds to your initial comment.

“In between all the scars maybe.” He sounds matter of fact. There’s a lot less pain in his voice now when he talks about them than when he did in your younger years. You look forward to the day when you hear no pain there at all. 

“No, the scars too,” you correct him gently, and you bring your thumb to a scar that runs from the top of his hand up to his forearm. You trace it with reverence, and he shivers at your touch. You know for a fact you’re the only person in the world he allows to touch them. You’re so grateful for his trust, and in this moment, your emotions heightened, your inhibitions lowered, the vibrations of the music moving through you, you feel the need to tell him so. 

“Thank you for letting me touch you, Moony.” 

Remus has been watching where your hands are connected until now, but at your words, he looks into your eyes. He just looks at you for a long moment. You can’t tell how long, time elongated and indeterminable in your current state, but you’re completely comfortable to sit in it through its entirety, looking straight back at him. 

Eventually, the softest grin blossoms on his face. You mirror it. 

“Thank you for not being afraid to,” he whispers. You genuinely don’t understand. 

“Why would I be?”

“You know what I mean,” he tries to explain. He looks down in shyness but back at you before continuing, “Maybe ‘afraid’ isn’t the right word. Maybe it’s ‘disgusted’ or something…” 

His voice is fading to a low whisper by the end, like the louder the words are the truer they’ll be. 

Without hesitating, you tell him the truth: “Remus, you’re the least disgusting person in the world. You’re beautiful.” He grimaces like he can’t believe you, so you go on. “You are.” 

You turn your body even more toward him, bringing your connected hands to your almost shared lap and bringing your other hand to caress his cheek. 

“Silly Moony. You’re so sickeningly beautiful,” you chuckle. Your hand runs up through his hair. “This hair is ridiculous,” you inform him, tousling it. He leans into your touch like a content puppy. “These eyes.” You trace circles around each of them, first skimming his eyebrows then looping around. “They’re the easiest thing in the world to melt into, no pot needed.” You feel them crinkle as they smile into your compliments. “This nose.” You trace it slowly. “These lips,” you say more softly. You feel his gasp when you touch them then feel nothing, his breath held as you trace them. “And your scars,” you say with some finality. You trace a prominent one across his face. He closes his eyes while you do, opens them again when you reach its end. “You beauty isn’t one to be ruined by scars, Remus Lupin. Your beauty is the kind that incorporates the scar and makes that beautiful too.” 

Remus squeezes your interlaced hands. Your faces are so close to each other that you could see his eyes moisten as you tell him all this. He closes them before full tears form and moves his face that tiny bit closer till his forehead rests on yours. You nuzzle his nose, and he nuzzles yours back. 

“It’s so quiet,” you whisper, breaking the silence — noticing the silence. You didn’t notice when the album ended.  Remus just hums in response. 

The silence is loaded but peaceful. You don’t want to pressure him into having to say something back after you let yourself get so intense with him. It wasn’t about what he said back; it was about his understanding how you saw him, how you hoped he would see himself. 

So, with his eyes still closed, you give the scar that runs across his nose a light kiss, do the same to another larger one across his jaw. Then you bring your head back to his shoulder, snuggling into him to mark the end of the moment, no further pressure necessary. 

Remus shifts his body closer, as close to you as possible. He brings his arm around your shoulders without letting go of your hand. He’s holding you close, and your arm crosses your chest to keep your hands intertwined. He kisses the top of your head — new, sweet — then rests his own there again — familiar, warm. Your thumb absentmindedly strokes the back of his hand. 

You sit together in the quiet a long while. You close your eyes, breathe Remus in, let his body, his presence envelop you then just bask in it. Everything feels pleasantly heavy — the air, his body where it touches yours.

You settle into him, and without your noticing you’re doing it, your hand on his stills. 

“Don’t stop,” he whispers. 

“Hm?” you need to ask, unsure what he means. You look up, and he looks down, and your faces are a breadth away from each other. 

“I liked how you were touching me,” he whispers. “I always like how you touch me,” he adds like a secret. 

He brings his hand that’s not holding yours up to your face. First, the backs of his fingers brush lightly over your cheekbone then he rests his hand there. His fingers hold your jaw; his thumb caresses your cheek. Like you tend to do, you lean into his touch. 

His gentle, soothing touch flutters your eyes closed. Your inability to see his face makes it less scary to respond, “I always like how you touch me too.”

“Yeah?” he sighs, his hand holding you a bit more tightly, his thumb coming down to graze your bottom lip. You nod slowly, his hand moving with your head.

“Do you ever think about other ways we could touch each other?” he whispers. Your eyes fly open at this and land on his: lidded, dilated, gazing into your own. 

“Do you?” 

“I asked you first,” he giggles. “And I’ve already told you a secret today. It’s your turn.”

“What secret?” Your voices are still soft, whispering even though there’s no need for quiet other than your intimacy demanding it. 

“About my crush.” 

“I had a crush on you too,” you tell him. “So now we’re even.”

“That’s not fair, sunshine,” he smiles. You smile back. 

Then, after a moment, like he can’t help it, “You did?” 

“Of course I did.” 

“What happened?” he echoes. 

“Nothing,” you confess. 

His eyebrows furrow, unsure how to interpret this. His eyes hold hope and trepidation at once. 

“I got to know you… And we became friends…” you continue. His expression falls, and you’re pretty sure you recognize this look as disappointment. But you go on, “And it made me love you all the more.” 

You’re ready to read his expression closely this time, but you don’t get the chance before he’s kissing you, before you’re kissing back. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NSFW beyond this point ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s slow. Deliberate. His lips push on yours; his arms bring you closer. His tongue teases your lips, and though they part in response, his tongue traces them rather than push in. You whimper at the feeling of it, and he moans at your reaction. He breathes you in, covers your whole mouth with his, devouring the sound, devouring you. 

Now his tongue enters your mouth, exploring, playing with yours. You’re not sure whether his movements are slow or whether they just feel slow because you’re still high. You are sure you have no desire to speed any of it up. 

You bring your hands to either side of his face, holding him gently but pulling him to you. He follows easily, and when your chests are almost flush, you trace your hands down to his shirt and pull him on top of you as you lean back, lying down on the sofa.

You keep kissing a deliciously long while then Remus goes beyond your lips, kissing along your jaw leisurely. He mouths at your skin, licking, nipping his way unhurriedly down to your neck. Here he languidly runs his tongue along the length of your neck, kissing your pulse point, nipping behind your ear. 

Everywhere he touches is buzzing, and you shiver at the sensation. When his breath blows cold air on your now wet skin, you shiver even harder, your body shuddering against his above you. He chuckles into the crook of your neck and continues. 

After another while of his working his way down, he has to pull the neck of your shirt down to reach further. You bare your neck to him, loving his exploratory path. 

When his mouth leaves your skin for the first time in several minutes, your impulse is to immediately pull him back to you.

“Let’s take this off,” he whispers sedately, gruffly, tugging at your top. 

You pull it off and don’t waste time unclasping and sliding your bra off as well. Remus looks at you, dopey and delighted, but without further ado, pushes your chest so that you lie back again. His hand stays on you and begins lazily kneading your breast as he brings his mouth back to you.

He kisses the base of your neck and continues his previous ministrations across your collarbones. He seems to be on a mission to trace the entire surface area of your skin with his wandering mouth, and you have every intention of letting him and enjoying every long second of it. 

As he makes his languorous way down your sternum, you arch your back, pushing up into him, and bring your hands to his messy hair, holding him close. You scratch and tug, needing somewhere to release some energy, every part of you he’s touched left humming warm and electric. He groans into your chest, and you’re certain you feel the vibrations move through your skin, across your chest cavity, and into your heart, where they ricochet within it, making it beat faster. 

“Remus,” you whine adoringly. He hums into your skin again in response and speeds up his southward trajectory just the slightest bit. 

His face comes between your breasts, and he runs his teeth down the valley, then licks his tongue up the same path. You shake a little, and his hand squeezes your breast tighter. The other one he mouths across until his tongue traces a slow, wet circle around your nipple. This shoots a hot, jolting current straight from where his mouth is connected to you down to between your legs.

He’s gentle for a while, moving back and forth between your tits, often agonizingly slowly, his hands kneading at your chest all the while. Without your expecting it, though, he bites one of your hard, sensitive nipples and tugs lightly. You squeal and push your chest into his mouth. He keeps going, switching as he fancies between rough and tender. 

At a bite of the side of your breast, you rut up into him, and the movement has you feeling how wet you are. You’ve never been this wet before before direct stimulation. 

Remus holds your hips down to the sofa but moves from your chest to your stomach. His roaming mouth proceeds at its perfect, maddening pace. It meanders to your ribs, down your sides, not following a straight path down. 

Once he eventually reaches the threshold of your pants, he looks up at you. 

Remus looks higher than you’ve ever seen him before. He looks elated, in awe. 

“I want to spend hours and hours on your body like this,” he tells you, nuzzling his face into your lower stomach, kissing it as he detaches from you.

“Remus,” you whimper, running your hand into his hair and inadvertently thrusting your hips up. He chuckles, still sounding high, but his voice is as low as you’ve ever heard it.

He takes your trousers and underwear off in one efficient but slow tug. He pulls his shirt off much faster, and you touch all his skin you can reach before he’s repositioning himself.

Your thighs feel cold now uncovered, but it’s nothing compared to the sensation of fresh air on your soaking cunt. As you adjust your body, you feel a thick wetness drip from your entrance down to where your arse meets the sofa. You feel the coldness of that wetness even more as Remus pushes your legs further apart to position himself between them. 

You’re completely sure you’re wetter than you’ve ever been before, but you’re not sure if you could possibly be as wet as you feel, thinking the high could be heightening your sensation of it. You’re worried it’s too much, worried you’ll put Remus off. 

“I can clean up a little if —“ you start, but you’re cut off by Remus diving in, running his flat tongue slowly, firmly up from the base of your puddle up to your pubic bone. A strangled, prolonged gasp functions as the end of your sentence.

When Remus licks you again, your thighs shake on either side of his head. You feel him laugh into your cunt, and this time you imagine the vibrations shooting all the way up your body, following the chaotic roadmap his mouth left lingering across it.

Remus pulls back from you and rests his chin on your pubic bone, looking up at you. 

He informs you simply, “You taste delicious, darling.” He looks drunk on it. 

“Everything tastes better when you’re high,” you tease.

“Then I’m really going to enjoy this,” he smiles. “But I’m pretty sure you’ll get me high just by letting me do this other times.” 

“Other times?” 

“Well, yeah…” he giggles. His eyes bore into yours even though he’s the length of your torso away. “I though this was a first, not an only…”

“Good.” You sound giddy. “Just checking.”

“Silly,” he shakes his head at you. You thrust your hips up and laugh at the expression he makes when you bump his face, like he’s dazed. He squeezes your thigh harshly where he’s holding you. 

“Behave, sunshine. It’s feeling dangerous down here.” 

“I thought you were enjoying it.” 

“I am.” A bite at your hip. “And I’m seriously getting the munchies, so just…” You don’t understand the end of his sentence, the words muffled against your skin as he starts eating you out.

It’s heavenly. High as you are, in love as you are, you think you’re on cloud nine. This gets you wondering where such an odd expression even comes from. It seems so random. 

“Moony?”

“Hmm?” is grunted into your cunt.

“Why do you think it’s called being on cloud nine?”

He pulls back. The whole lower half of his face shines in your slick. 

“Why are you thinking about that right now? Am I that bad at this?”

“Bad? It’s amazing.” You ruffle his hair in your groping hands. “Which is why I’m on cloud nine, which is why I’m thinking about that right now. Your hair is as soft as clouds, Moons.” 

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Am not,” you giggle.

“Are,” he teases.

“Can you keep going now? It felt so good. Your mouth is ridiculous.” You thrust your hips up at him again.

“Ridiculous and bossy,” he complains, but he’s smiling hard, and before you can even think of a retort, he does as you bid. 

His mouth takes its time between your legs. He spends eternities teasing you: mouthing at the tops of your thighs, licking up your bikini line, nipping at your clit without giving it the attention he knows you want from how loud you whine every time he gives it the slightest graze. He loves all over your vulva, not leaving any part untouched, unworshipped. His tongue fucks into your entrance languidly; it swirls there. He licks your labia, sucks on it, gives the same attention to your clit when you moan loud enough. He travels back and forth, seemingly enjoying all of it too much to stick to any one attention too long. The next time he lands on your clit, he prolongs it.

Your legs shake; your back arches; your whines grow loud before turning strangled, and Remus takes his cue to reserve the relaxed approach for later. He picks up his pace, gripping your thighs tightly and shakes his whole face into you, alternating between licking and sucking rhythmically at your clit. You cum hard, and it feels like it goes on for minutes. 

With your eyes closed, you truly feel like you’re floating, your only anchor to the world Remus Lupin where you feel his body attached to yours. 

You’re laughing in pleasure, and the laughs turn to pants as you slowly, slowly come down. You love coming down to an already high baseline, and you giggle at the sensation of relaxing into a still heightened state. 

It suddenly strikes you it feels like it’s been years since you talked to Remus, heard his mellifluous voice, and you startle your eyes open searching for him. 

You see him immediately. He’s gazing at you with equal parts ardor and adoration, but when he sees your expression, his shifts to concern. 

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong, my love?” He rushes to hover just above you. His face is close to yours again, though it’s scanning all over your body. His hand holds your face gently, his other arm holding him up. “Did something feel bad? Does something hurt?” 

“No, no, I’m fine, Moons, I’m fine,” you rush to reassure. “I just missed you,” you explain.

“Missed me?” His eyes shoot to yours. “I’m right here, love; what do you mean you missed me?” He can’t help a subtle giggle, and his adoring expression takes back its rightful place on his beautiful face. 

“I just thought I hadn’t seen you in too long.” Your hands caress his face, thread through his hair. “Or heard your voice…” 

“Hmm,” he hums, leaning into your touch. “I’m right here. What do you want me to say?”

“Anything,” you smile. 

“I love you.” 

You’ve heard them before, but never like this, and they’re the best words in the world, in the universe. 

“Remus,” you sigh, leaning up to kiss him. He tastes intensely of you, and you laugh into the kiss. “I’m sorry I got you so… so slicky.”

“I don’t mind,” he chuckles. “Means it was good, right?”

“Beyond. ‘Good’ is like… like one colour out of a whole rainbow for how that just felt.” 

He’s beaming down at you and kisses you again, lingering there. 

When he finally separates from you, his caressing thumb comes to wipe some slick at the corner of your lip. You grab his hand and kiss each of his fingers lightly. Then you lick down his long index finger, your tongue finding and following a scar up his hand to his wrist.

You look into his eyes, and he’s staring at you, transfixed. 

“I was thinking about your fingers when you were rolling the spliff.” 

“Yeah?” His voice is a desperate sigh. 

“Yeah.”

“What were you thinking about?” 

“How beautiful your hands are. How they’d feel touching me… How your fingers would feel inside me…”

“Fuck,” he whispers. “You wanna find out?”

“Yes,” you moan. 

“Get them nice and wet for me, and I’ll show you.” They’re already lingering at your lips, but he slowly pushes them in. You welcome them enthusiastically and lazily suck on them, swirl your tongue around them.

“Fuck.” His voice is low. “Fuck, I want to feel everything there is to feel with you.”

“Mmm,” you nod, your mouth still full. 

Remus takes his fingers out, kisses you, and lets his mouth stay on yours as his fingers trace down your chin, your chest, your stomach steadily, leaving a wet path. When they reach between your legs, you squirm in anticipation. 

He rubs a couple of tight, slow circles on your clit. You’re so sensitive, and it feels amazing. You mewl into his mouth where it still hovers just above yours. 

“Ready, my sunshine?” 

“Mmhhmm.”

Remus pushes two fingers into you ever so slowly. You release a low, slow whine the whole time he takes to press in. He gives you gentle kisses, eating it up. When his fingers are in to the hilt, you wonder how you didn’t feel devastatingly empty every moment of your life before this one. When he adds a third, you’re sure you will every moment after.

You clench purposefully around him, and he moans into your mouth. Closing your eyes again, it’s the easiest thing to let yourself be consumed by the sensations, by Remus. 

When he curls his fingers inside you, you clench again, this time automatically. You grip his hair and clutch his back, your arms pulling his body close to yours. 

The spot he starts massaging feels like it’s a blazing fire, but everywhere else you’re connected, your chests, your mouths, is scattered scalding embers.

You’re savouring every second, every sensation, already feeling another high building but relishing in the time it’ll take to get there. 

You run your hands down Remus’s back, feeling the bumps of his scars, the grooves of his defined muscles. For the first time all afternoon, you feel a desire to hurry… 

You start moving your hips to meet his rhythm, eager, even more than for your own climax, for your turn to take your time on him. 

pt. 2!

[fairuzfan]

Your post about how many people are unknowingly falling for & spreading propaganda... yeah. I typed up a whole spiel of a comment on one of your posts the other day that I ended up deciding not to not actually post because it felt like detailing, but seriously. The amount of well meaning, genuinely anti-zionist people ignorantly sharing zionists' posts because they just don't pick up on the leading undertones is honestly more terrifying than than the amount of actual zionists in some ways.

I'm someone who was born into a doomsday cult, and seeing all these people falling for the exact same blatant (or so i thought lol) recruitment/manipulation tactics I've seen used by them my entire life has absolutely fucking terrifying. These are people who are actively trying to combat zionism, but I guess the general public is so uneducated about propaganda/cult tactics that what immediately reads as blatantly manipulative, misleading bullshit to me just doesn't even register as strange to most people. Not to be repetitive, but seriously: fucking terrifying.

There's so much focus on the way people/groups who want to manipulate you will use language of fear, but in this case especially, people need to realize they will almost always appeal to your compassion before they appeal to your fear.

It's all peace and love and happiness because that's what gets people in the door. You preach (or post) the mushy, happy, fun stuff that makes people feel good to draw them in, and you slowly start peppering in the ideas you actually want to lead them to believe later on once you've got them wanting to believe you.

This also has this added effect of helping the group or person's image. Even the people who you don't manage to draw in will have the impression of you as someone who runs their mouth 24/7 about how you're full of love and want the best for everyone, which is especially useful for when you inevitably want to frame yourself as the victim to demonize the people who will inevitably oppose you. If your first and only exposure to a person is seeing them calling for world peace and universal love, you are much more likely to be inclined to believe they (and by extension their cause) are the sympathetic, loving, peaceful good guys being unjustly targeted.

Sorry for rambling, but like... really. It won't always be something nefarious, of course--the vast majority of the the time, it won't be--but I think we would all be in a much better situation if people took it as a general rule of thumb that you should always be a little suspicious of overly vague talk about peace and love.

You're EXACTLY right. I really appreciate this message, because you put to words a lot of my inherent analysis of arguments and ideas. I like grew up with this rhetoric so it's easy to spot for me, but the way that people speak about "peace" as the overall goal when they're zionist is so blatant to me because there is no material change in the scenario they propose but rather a calmness where Palestinians are ignored.

And picking up on subtext of a lot of messages is something you have to have a muscle for kinda because of how subtle it is. The frightening part is, you're right, that the indoctrination part of zionism is the most harmful part because you appeal to their pathos — their fear, their sense of safety, etc — and you go on down the rabbit hole and slowly start being radicalized and pro-zionism or you might not even be pro-zionism 100% but enjoy... soft zionism as a mutual of mine put it once (if you read this and want to be tagged, lmk). Which soft zionism is the MAIN opinion in many liberal circles btw, its not an uncommon opinion.

I even remember once sharing a post by a zionist because i saw them talk about esims but when i went on their blog a few days later because something rubbed me the wrong way, I noticed their pinned and I was like "oh dam I gotta delete that other post" like that's how often this happens.

Idk, I try to combat this by putting sources or approaching from a standpoint of logical arguments rather than identity-based politics (although, sometimes i think there are some things that people who are a certain identity can be the only true experts on) so that I try to encourage actual engagement with ideas and walking them through thought processes rather than "I'm palestinian so just trust me."

Like even with my one fact checking list, idk if I succeeded but I wanted to emphasize that there are multiple factors you should consider when confronting ANY sort of information and should not blindly trust things. News sources have regularly burned or ignored Palestinians so I know a lot of us are really sensitive to these things, but I don't know! I hope people can engage with ideas more than just surface level thinking in general because it helps everyone when you actually interact with the point of view the other person is providing rather than just blindly trusting/distrusting people.

[rippleap]

into the wild kitties! #1

HI GUYS MY FIRST ART POST

since i have no clue what kind of art to post on here yet i decided to do something fun!!!

I'll be designing and drawing every single cat in the into the wild allegiances, hopefully uploading each day! yeah im only doing into the wild (for now) cause i would like to stay alive and breathing thanks!

(way more text below)

also designing ISNT WHAT IM BEST AT, these are just for fun!

im gonna start explaining and babbling about the designs now,,

firepaw is TECHNICALLY not the first cat in the allegiances but come on i have to do him first he's FIREPAW. I didn't have much of a thought process for him other than mmmmm yes fire. I really wanted to add some blue to his eyes cause like, blue fire haha but i couldn't find a way to do that without making the whole design look weird.

Next is bluestar! bluestar with long hair my beloved. i tried to make her as BLUE as possible without making your eyes burn off, but she is VERY BLUE

Now for redtail! this one was a bit more tricky to be honest, i wasn't too sure of what to do because, i sorta forgot how i perceived redtail lmao?? most of what i was thinking while designing him was.....hmm spottedleaf brother...... of course he has his signature red tail, and i wanted to give him that sort of calico kinda hair color, like how people dye their hair to be calico yeah i was going for that. like he dyed his hair but it's actually just like that.

And lastly, spottedleaf! i think you all can clearly see the neapolitan inspiration here lol. I was thinking of how i was gonna design her, and a lightbulb lit up above my head and went ICE CREAM ICE CREAAMMM so here's neapolitan spottedleaf! i also this these colors make her look like she smells good which is a trait of hers i guess, like look at that cat and tell me she doesnt look like she smells like vanilla and strawberries and chocolate. I also made an effort to have spottedleaf and redtail to resemble or mirror eachother! that'll probably become a pattern with the siblings I'll be designing.

also side note, literally i drew these with a pencil on paper, lined it with black paint and a stiff paintbrush and THEN transferred the drawing into ibispaint. just wanted to put it out there...heh... probably one of my new favorite ways of drawing ever.

I'm gonna be using the #into the wild allegiances to tag all of these in case you wanna find them all later.

umm idk how to end this, bye guys!!!

if you have any questions about using these designs orrr whatever feel free to ask!

i posted the higher quality individual versions of the designs on my instagram! same user as here!!

[eldaryasharbinger]

MCL New Gen Ep 5 Review

Played the episode last friday and finally I'm sharing my thoughts on it (hopefully I still remember what I wanted to talk about...)

Since the episode is out for everyone, I will go straight into it so no spoiler free version this time! (still adding the cut cause this is a long post...)

I'll start by saying that this episode felt somewhat "empty"? I'm not sure if it was me playing it in a rush before leaving for the weekend but there really wasn't much going on?? at the same time the more I think about it the more I think it was just me lol

This time I didn't stop to take many screenshots cause again, I didn't have much time and I'm still not sure about how long it takes to play each episode, I only took a couple that I thought were intresting enough to share

This was of course very very important, as many of us were wondering about it, if it was actually poliosis or just idk design I guess

Turns out that whoever came up with this theory first was right! Love to see that especially after his reaction and expression during this scene, I'm sure there's more going on!! (if it ends up that we never talk about it again I'll just turn to dust)

SECOND VERY IMPORTANT THING HERE TOO!!

Some people thought that Jason came from a rich family, turns out that wasn't the case! I'm not really surprised since I really wanted him to be "self-made", like some ordinary guy that now got this horrible rich-person personality, he already looked like that to me so all I needed was confirmation!

----------

Now I want to talk about our interaction with Jason... I'm so so happy about it I kept giggling while playing lol

I could feel Candy's stress like it was my own because I've been in a similiar position back in april and It made me cry in front of 2 of my co-workers, only diffrence is that candy made a big mistake, I was too prideful to destroy my work for the client's ALWAYS changing "preferences"(?) (also I recently completed it, I just swallowed my pride and the client actually forgot about it so they didn't care as much and didn't remember what they wanted at first,, the audacity,,)

I'm not sure how everyone else feels about it (I haven't checked tags yet,,) but it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO weird to me that Candy accepted Jason's offer to do HER job for her? I could understand a little help but Jason literally got her everything, all she had to do was call these people? I don't get how she didn't feel more guilty about it, isn't it like cheating in a way?? Jason isn't just this random guy helping us but the RIVAL COMPANY doing our job?? What was the point of calling us for the job if Goldreamz did it in the end, they just don't know

Everyone else congratulating her on the well done job too... I was dying inside I hope Candy was too, I felt so guilty replying "thank you" to Devon's text about the little gilr's birthday party like,, the f did candy do??

Now... I love that Jason helped her, I wasn't expectin him to do THAT MUCH (it still blows my mind) but I really loved how kind of non-chalante he was trying to be?? Also, Candy said a couple of weird things while joking to which Jason replied so bluntly but also what surprised me the most was the fact that he replied at all?? Like if I'm not mistaken, his dad died when he was a teen or something, and he just told her that? he shared something personal about himself like that??!! Mentioning the poliosis too and how it's hereditary, he just told her about it?

To me that sounds like a big deal because usually you wouldn't expect someone like Jason to share personal details to some random girl he wants in his bed once, so that leaves us with one true conclusion

he loves candy already and really wants to get to know her, so maybe he feels like he has the need to tell her more? maybe I'm just running with my mind again but I think this could be what we could expect in the future?

The illustration is absolutely GORGEOUS, I've already made an edited version with Petronilla here!!

I just really love Jason's expression, he's so pretty he's so beautiful,,,,,, I can't wait till we get more ;w;;;;; I could stare at him all day and I probably will end doing that at this point

ALSO!!!!! I GOT AMANDA'S ILLU WITHOUT SPENDING MORE GEMS!!

They're both so pretty, this illustration was finaly crafted I can see that, just look at all the details!! Girls having fun!! They might kiss each other!

This time I didn't pay for her special scene because I want to save up on the gems,, (I did get Jason's tho)

Not sure if I unlocked it as a bug, during the episode I unlocked it like normal but in the library it has the locked icon?

Still, bug or not I don't care cause I LITERALLY CHEERED when I got it, I wasn't sure I was gonna get it if I chose to work on my own (to meet Jason) instead of asking her for help, I apparentely made the right choices (I winged it after seeing the illu online) and THANKFULLY the outfit was the same one as Jason's!

I think I've said everything I had to, or better to say "all that I remember", I'm sure there's more from this episode to address that I forgot about so If anything else comes to mind I'll make separate posts about it!

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading!

edit: I am not proofreading all that

[halucynator]

END OF 2023

sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged xx

hi! most of you will know me as lucy (unless you're @m3ntallyunstable34 and know my real name lol)

so yes, i am lucy. and this is me reflecting on 2023 on tumblr because it seems like a logical thing to do considering this year sucked like 20% less (one of us is lying reference) because of all my amazing online friends. so yes i guess in a way this is a mutual appreciation post 🫶

@berryzxx you wouldn't believe me when i tell you you were the first mutual i didn't have to be all professional and got to be a crazy bitch with lmao so thank you for not judging me and talking to me like we're besties (we totally are btw bc i said so) mwahh

@longlivestv the loml literally owe my life to you bee 🫶🫶 you are one of the main reasons i'm friends with all of the people i will mention after, so tysm and thank you for being so sweet to me and i love flirting with you /hj ilysm 💗 also if im too young to fall in love why do you keep running through my brain? 😍😍

@loserdiaz one of the very few people i get to openly talk to and not feel weird doing it akshdasjhd ilysm april <33 and youre one of the only people i will ever admit has better pick up lines than me (thats a huge honour btw) so thank you for keeping up with me and flirting with me it makes me feel very special mwahhh and ily and we should totally snuggle by the fireplace you know i made those cookies you like (sab reference) 😍🫶

@weeping-in-the-willows thank you for being the absolute SWEETEST person to me <3 ilysm and btw you were my first discord friend and i'm so honoured about that ajshdnjfe you're so nice and ily and i hope you get everything you want

@theladyinwhite13 thank you for appreciating my unhinged comments and you're one of the few people who deserve to be told that they are funnier than me (i rarely ever give anyone this honour btw so its very special) and i think you might appreciate this reference 'so what if i just wanna be a little out of my mind'

@bodybetters and @its-tortle karo and tortle my beloved <3 ilysm you're like two of the BEST mutuals ever and i was so honoured happy excited (any other positive adjective) when i realised you followed ME back?!? i was literally so ajshdnjfe i can't even put it in words you're like my favourite people on this hellsite (affectionate)

@suugarbabe ajdhhgajsgf my pookie <33 you always stand up for me and ilysm for it youre the nicest to me what did i ever do to deserve you 😭❤️

@patrophthia omg the absolute sweetestt!! youre an angel and ilysm and i hope you have the best life every <33 ilysm thank you for being so nice to me and making me feel valued asjdhajksd i love youu

@theautistmwitch omg idk how youre still sane after hearing to my traumatising jokes 😭 ilysm mwahh❤️thank you for being so sweet to meee it makes me so happy <333 can't wait to traumatise- uh i mean make you laugh even more next year!

@kurtcobainsgreencardigan ajkshdad i had the time of my life 'bullying' [insert their name] (i dont wanna get cancelled yk just in case people actually like them) with you <33 [i mean you technically didn't 'bully' them but we bonded over that] you're so funny and sweet and ily<3

@catastrxblues nadine the loml <33 i LOVED chatting with you and ranting to you and reading your answers to my asks akgdskg im so glad to have you as a mutual and i would love to have some more ranting convos with you in the future haha asdhjhajsh ilysm mwahh <3

@nyctophile-me omg you're so sweet to meee 😭😭😭 ily you're like one of my favourite wives too you're one of the only people i will ever share sab with mwah ❤️❤️ id love to talk to you more next year <3

@magicandmaybe @andi-is-bored @alltheliars and @animallover4000 omg you're all so sweet and ily and we didn't really interact a lot this year but i loved chatting with you on discord 💕

@imperpetuallylost omg ilyy you're so unintentionally (or intentionally?) funny ahsjdnfne and i guess it's inevitable sorry sky but it looks like you (lea not sky) deserve to [redacted] goosebot and it's well deserved ajsjdjdne ily and id love to interact more with you next year <33

@london-affairs literally started talking to you like 5 days ago and we were flirting non stop that's CRAZYYYY ily btw pookie 😍

@m3ntallyunstable34 my literal best friend!! i absolutely love you mwah mwah mwah thank you for being my best friend and dealing with me for 12 years llama im shocked you're not insane yet ahsjsj ilyyyy ❤️

these are the mutuals that made me throw my phone across the room and scream in excitement when i realised THEY followed ME

also i will take this moment to thank all of you for making my year amazing and i love you all so much and i hope you have THE BEST 2024. thank you so much for being a part of my crazy blog i would never have imagined 438 people would find this silly little blog 🫶

@cassiopeiasdaughter @faultsline @underthenightskydreamsneverdie @theostrophywife @slytherinslut0 @imperpetuallylost @themidnightarcher @stvrlighhttt @psychedeliccc @prettybaby-grande @nqds @themidnightarcher @i-miss-you-im-sorry @cottoncandywhispers @svnflowermoon @finalgirllx @fallingforfictionalcharacterss @ashisgreedy @moonffe @suugarbabe @wordsarelife and @xobridgertonblues (i might've tagged some people twice sorryyyy)

[silly-mars]

HELLO THERE!!

I'm Silly Mars! Or just Mars. I think it's finally to me to present myself!!

BASIC INFO!!

My name is Mars!

My pronouns are He/him ONLY (it's okay if you don't know my pronouns!! And you use they/them instead, but if you know please use my pronouns!!)

IM A MINOR. 16 to be exact. (Shocking i know, i even think to myself that i'm still in 2021). SO PLEASE!! don't be weird.

ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LENGUAGE!! I'm spanish (hola tontos jaja) still! I will try my best for having a decent english!! And don't worry, i can understand English perfectly, the problem for me is talking it or writting it.

I like to use tone tags!! It makes it easier to me to understand stuff!! (Sometimes i'm a dummy. /Lh /hj)

TALKING TO ME AND STUFF!!

GUYS PLEASE! i'm super friendly!!/srs I LOVE when people send me messages for art or even talking!! Please never think that you're annoying or something!! I love having notifications of my moots!! If you want, i invite you to talk to me! For whatever reason, and i hope to be good mutuals or if it's the case good friends!!

My username on discord is "silly_mars." If you need to talk to me for something important!! Just wanting to chat with me and interact (guys, i don't bite.) or even for projects n stuff!!

THINGS I LIKE!!

THE LEGO MOVIE!!

I think it's kinda obvious THE LOVE i have for this movie!! I remember being in computer class and there was a piece called "resistence" and i was like "THE PIECE OF RESISTENCE!!"...and my friend was worried for me, but that's another story.

Team fortress 2!!

I KNOW, what a shock! I like things THAT AREN'T THE LEGO MOVIE!! Well yes! So don't be surprised if i upload something that isn't LEGO movie!! Anyways i love this videogame so much, Scout my wife and Spy my human pet.

REGRETEVATOR!!

Silly little Roblox Game!! My favorite gender.

I just love videogames or media that have a lot of silly characters, so that game is for me!! Also, im literally Mark./j

WARRIOR CATS!!

I don't consume the canon stuff like i used to, but the fandom still has a place in my heart!! Because THE ART IS SO GOOD and the fan stuff is way too good!! Also i love my baby longtail. He deserved better :(

COPPERNAUTS

The fact that these two are characters from the LEGO movie, but they have a special interest is so amazing to me. THE FACT that they only have 1-2 canon interaction and they're ALL OVER MY HEAD is so amazing to me...UGH anyways, i hope gay people were real/ref

ASTRONOMY

Not really a fandom BUT I LOVE SPACE!! I can literally say 100 fun facts about space, PLEASE./hj

AAAAAND more stuff!! I have a lot of interests idk anymore guys:(

DNI N STUFF!!

Just basic DNI, yk, if you're homophobic/transphobic don't try to be my friend or even mutual, this place is safe for LGBT community AND MYSELF.

Racist stuff, ableist stuff, just- any type of hate for a group of people isn't welcome here.

if you ship something weird don't expect me to follow you back or interact with you.

If i don't like something i just scroll away, or if it is more serious, i block it and scroll away again.

LINKS!!

Well! I have a pair of links to get me know better!!

Pronoun page!!

My card!! (I don't know how to make good cards, but here is it, so you can find all my social media more easy, lol)

OKAY!1!!1! THAT'S ALL

Uhhh that's everything i guess!! Still, if you have any questions my ask box and other social media are open!! I hope you like my blog, art and even fanfics or projects!! Have a good day!

[starcatttt]

lmk Season 5 trailer spoilers below the cut! (Bonus ramble about my thoughts about it too lol)

Link to the trailer if you haven't watched (first one I found): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEYwtKDD9NE

Sooo uh, I have some thoughts about the new info regarding the switch from Flying Bark to Wildbrain Studios. Literally just some random opinions I have about it so far, nothing super serious lol.

First up though, definitely no hate to Wildbrain or the animators who worked on this whatsoever, animation is SO difficult to do, and the expectation for the show's quality was definitely set very high early on, even in season 1. Other people have probably said this better than me, but absolutely no hate or harassment to them.

For my opinion on the animation in the trailer, I can't say I'm the biggest fan? I don't think its horrible. I think it will definitely get better when the episodes actually start releasing.

But for now, some or a lot of the shots looked stiff and kind of like they were sliding a PNG for the movement in some scenes.

Speaking of, I found this and idk (a scene in the trailer)

Its the same PNG face, just flipped. Not super happy that they just used the same image you can find just by looking swk up, but it's not terrible? Just wanted to bring it up ig.

For me, I think the biggest thing was the proportions and movement. It sort of felt low budget, and I'm not sure if that's the case, or its just the studio getting used to the monkie kid style.

I'm not a big fan of the rigging animation either, probably because of the stuff I said earlier. Again, how its done in the trailer looks really weird in some shots, same in how its very obvious how they use rigged puppets instead of handrawn animation. It makes me kind of worried that we won't get any of those cool fight scenes we got before (like swk and Nezha or MK and Azure). I hope it'll get only better in the future, and I'm pretty sure it'll at least be decent.

I think its going to take a WHILE to get used to the change, and it personally really threw me off this morning. It feels pretty sudden, mainly because 1, the trailer dropped out of nowhere, and 2 nothing about the switch until today gave me emotional whiplash lol.

I actually am still excited about the new season, and will definitely watch when the English dub drops! Guess I just wanted to dump my thoughts here and see who agrees ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tldr: I thought the animation looked off, same as the style and stuff, but I'm pretty sure it'll get better once the season actually comes out.

Can't wait to watch it though! AND remember to tag spoilers if you post about it!

[wikiangela]

tease tidbit tuesday💀

tagged by @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @disasterbuckdiaz @hoodie-buck 💖

hi! so, yesterday I randomly opened the doc with the buddie death cast au - which is a fic I started writing last summer on vacation and never got back to it but then made progress lol it's gonna be MCD, which i know is not everyone's thing so feel free to ignore this 🤣 it's basically buddie in the universe of the "they both die at the end"/"the first to die at the end" books so it's gonna be sad, sorry lol (I never even read mcd, idk why i'm writing this but this idea just wants to be written i guess haha) gotta put this weird mood I've been in lately to good use and finally write this 🤣 not sure if I'm happy with this snippet, but it all needs editing, the first two snippets were written on my phone and haven't been edited yet lol

I posted two snippets so far, gonna link them both snippet 1 | snippet 2

___

“Is all of this clear, Eddie?” she asks in the end.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” he says shortly. He should've just hung up immediately. Or cancel this stupid subscription after Shannon died. Sometimes he wonders if maybe people who get the calls and coincidentally get into accidents, for example, just give up and refuse to fight because they think it’s their time. Not like Shannon could do much, her injuries were too severe when they got there, but the point stands. Maybe they get more reckless, thinking it doesn’t matter anyway. 

There’s a short pause on the line, but then Jane speaks up again, her tone softer, more sympathy seeping through.

“I know it’s not easy to accept, if you’d like some help with that, on out website you can find therapists and grief counselors specializing in-”

“Listen.” Eddie interrupts. He’s spent enough time in therapy. He’s not doing it on his supposedly last day. “I know it’s all bullshit. I don’t care. You said what you had to say, I listened, for whatever reason.” he rolls his eyes. He really should’ve hung up, or not answered at all. “Is this conversation over yet?” he asks and is met with another moment of silence. She’s probably wondering what everyone else always is: why is he even spending money on this if he doesn’t believe. He has an answer ready to go, but that’s not what she asks.

“Can I ask you a question?” she says quieter, whispering, probably not allowed to go too much off-script. 

“Sure, why not.” he shrugs. He’s wide awake now, anyway, he’s not in a hurry. Not like he’s dying anytime soon.

“If it was your last day, how would you spend it? You don’t have to answer, just think about it.” she adds quickly, her tone much softer and gentler now. Eddie’s mind immediately supplies a picture of Christopher and Buck, just a casual hang-out, like usual, maybe going to the movies, or the aquarium, or the planetarium, something fun for his kid. And later a gathering with the rest of their family, maybe a barbecue at Bobby and Athena’s, with Maddie and Chim, and Hen and Karen, all their kids, just everyone having fun together. Yeah, that’d be a perfect day. “There’s no harm in spending today just like this, if possible. Just in case.” Jane adds, still whispering. He doesn’t tell her that’s more or less his plan, anyway, for the evening after his 12-hour shift. During which nothing will happen to him, because Death-Cast doesn’t know shit. “Well, lastly, Eddie,” Jane’s voice is back at normal-volume, tone strictly professional but sympathetic, as she recites the end of her script, “on behalf of everyone here at Death-Cast, we’re so sorry to lose you. Live this day to the fullest.”

Eddie hangs up without a word.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @911onabc @housewifebuck @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @nmcggg @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @king-buckley @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @puppyboybuckley @weewootruck @buckaroosheart @spagheddiediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @exhuastedpigeon @jesuisici33 @theotherbuckley @rainbow-nerdss @malewifediaz @giddyupbuck @diazsdimples @jeeyuns @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks

[turian]

beloved gamer mutual & comrade @rhubarbspring tagged me to do a video game about me ( tysm for tagging !! truly loved reading all ur game thoughts. <3 ) explanations behind my choices under the cut.

(also, i had to cheat a little bit in the "you love, everyone hates" category, because i don't think people on tumblr hate da2, but one of my best friends despises it because of reused assets and combat designed more for consoles than pcs. and i can't remember any other controversial beloved games right now. the best i can do is games i love that i'm not sure anyone remembers? imagine ubisoft ballet? which, like. do people hate that. i don't think so).

tagging @cowsquirrel @malcriada @sakraya @ansburg @anoramactir + literally anyone i might have missed who wants to do this

favourite game of all time: so, look, i hate her as much as i love her. i always go back to new vegas even though i have a lot of criticisms of it - i had a realization recently after the release of the fallout show that while maybe i was projecting intergenerational trauma onto the game and using it to process some things, there is a lot in the game that is extremely imperialistic, even as it dabbles in anti imperialism. i can't get into all that here - better essays than i'm capable of have already been written on new vegas - but i also have to admit that new vegas taught me to see game writing differently, and helped me a great deal in improving my own writing. it's also just really entertaining playing later games by obsidian and picking out the new vegas elements. i think that new vegas gets praised too readily for being progressive when in reality it's only the most progressive game in the fallout franchise, and i think every time i return to it i'm noticing one more thing that'll kind of be making my eye twitch. but, yeah, i think it would also be dishonest to not include it here, regardless of my mixed feelings, because i keep going back, and because there are so many angles to it, and because i keep catching myself comparing other games to it.

i think a lot about like........... how so many themes i can relate to exist within the narrative of new vegas, but that doesn't feel entirely intentional. like, benny is so real to me because ! he was forced to assimilate into this culture that was not his to survive. and ulysses as well. and like!!!! yeah idk. going insane. i feel very similarly about dragon age elves tbh i'm like okay i feel seen but also this game is racist! kms :') will be projecting hard and taking so much psychic damage

many such cases tho </3 baldur's gate 3 and their treatment of the gur is always going to be a mix of relatable and uncomfortable to me

favourite series: soulsborne! i like how bleak it is, love the theme of death and rebirth, love how thankless the games can be, and i also love how the combat reminds me of muay thai. had a coach explain something to me using dark souls combat as an example once. i didn't really get these games at first, until i saw my best friend playing - she is ridiculously good at them - and then i sort of realized that they're just combat puzzles, and that like... they're kind of about honing patience, i guess? and after that they really became my favourite.

best soundtrack: honorary mentions: mass effect and dark souls both have some individual tracks i revisit on the daily, and skyrim's secunda is beautiful. but hollow knight doesn't miss, and i love how every track matches its environment.

favourite protagonist: i grew up in a really dysfunctional somewhat criminal family so like... lol. i feel seen when i look at arthur morgan <3 him and charles are both close to my heart. john can stay too ig

favourite villain: SO okay, maybe this is cheating a little, but. the reapers from mass effect. went into that game with zero spoilers, and finding out that they were in fact cosmic horror games was so <3

this would probably have gone to new vegas except benny (and also ulysses + i think he's more narrative foil than antagonist, as is benny) literally did nothing wrong in my eyes and after that point it's like... who is the main antagonist? the ncr and legion both? like yeah they're interesting but...

best story: i haven't actually finished pathologic on my own yet. kind of obsessed, though. just feels responsible to put it here. honorary mentions to new vegas, some fromsoft titles, twd, imagine ubisoft ballet........ (i love her and i miss her).

i feel like a lot of story games i've played actually have garbage stories with good characters, which is why they're not here. baldur's gate 3 and ME, for example. or like... ME has a great story at first but they fuck up the ending so badly that a popular theory i've heard passed around essentially boils down to "it was all a dream!"

have not played but want to: i was actually supposed to apply for a job with the team that made these games !! i didn't because it would have required relocation to the US, but. idk i feel like they keep showing up, always highly recommended, and i think i own one? so yeah, i should really get around to that.

you love, everyone hates: again, i cheated on this one. i don't think people on here hate dragon age 2.

you hate, everyone loves: skyrim, detroit: become human, stardew valley (because it's a weird little cottagecore colonialism game but also because i don't really vibe with the art style and i get stressed as fuck in it because nothing is happening... it is simply not for me), and fallout 3 and 4 (because they're masquerading as games with choices but they fully aren't, they suffer from bethesda writing, and they are super unapologetically racist and imperialist). i mean like... not mad at any of my friends who like these games i just cannot play them. i don't really think any of the games on my list are unimpeachable, tbf.

favourite art style: disco elysium !! it's so <3 like, i also love it for other reasons!! but every time i play it i end up wanting to draw.

favourite ending: new vegas has four endings. i feel differently about them all, but the independent ending is very much shaped by the infrastructure the player assembles during a playthrough, and while it is maybe imperfect and very open ended in some ways i like how it doesn't really reassure the player. also, i really like certain elden ring endings and the dark souls 1 ending. and pathologic.

favourite boss fight: hollow knight has a lot i've really enjoyed (particularly hornet's). for elden ring, malenia is the fave, tho <3 when i defeat her i tend to feel really disappointed. like, get up. let's go again. parrying her is extremely satisfying.

childhood game: we like... found out we had some cousins which is wild because this has been a tiny family since Certain Incidents A Long Time Ago and they also had nintendo ds access and they were not into this game. and like... look, i'm not saying it's great, but it had dark souls ish combat? like, you could lock on? you could roll? and i ended up replaying it as an adult and being like. huh. not that bad.

+ imagine ubisoft ballet ily

relaxing games: distance, injustice 2 (i main red hood & black canary but i like playing robin too. it's super imbalanced and they still haven't nerfed starfire !! and it's incredibly funny like good for her), dark souls 1, and elden ring.

stressful games: again stardew valley because i would play with friends and it was like oh god i need to leave. i do not know what to do, i am useless, i am understimulated

+ red dead online is not a good game to play without substantial backup . so glad i had horse insurance because if i hadn't my only friend in that world would be dead. that said, i did like to hunt in that game + play the fps levels with groups

games you always come back to: new vegas but maybe she'll release me someday. idk. also unfortunately i didn't include it earlier but i keep going back to the sims 4 and baldur's gate 3. and fromsoft titles because i sometimes just crave that combat.

guilty pleasure: new vegas again!!! i guess i kind of talked about my extremely complicated feelings when i first spoke about it, but yeah. there's just so much to unpack and i'm never going to forgive it for a lot of things. the horrors and the joys are both numerous but the joys will never not be tainted by the horrors

tons of hours played: elden ring + bg3 + new vegas + mass effect. i don't have the hours of new vegas and mass effect available tho as they are confined to a now dead xbox 360

[celticcatgirl2]

Gender and sexuality and how they can change over time can be such a funny thing so I had one friend as a kid who at the time had just came out as lesbian (tho now I think they may be transmasc of some sort ot another but I’m not 100% sure so I’m just using they/them) and I was at the time sorta trying to very awkwardly perform straight male identity^tm and like faking stuff I just wasn’t really actually experiencing to feel normal but I was also like not an asshole about gay people. So anywyas they had said soemthing when where hanging out at Barnes & noble and we where looking through calendars and there was one with some scantily clad women on it and this friend was Liek “oh I like that one…don’t judge I have needs you know!!!” And I to both try to I guess show support and also do the middle school performance of “yeah I’m totally doing the normal teenage boy things” was like “nah I get you it’s rhe same here ” even tho it WASN’T at the time like that at all a thing I was actually personally experiencing. Which feels also like an odd story cause now I DO have my own experiences of attraction and aesthic appreciation of women (albeit still probably not quite the same way due to the idiosyncrasies of my aspec stuff) that I could probably connect with more authentically.

I kinda wonder what happened to this person they where pretty cool and talked about like marvel stuff with me in elementary/early middle school we kinda lost contact and I don’t really have a way of getting back in touch r but I wish I did I kinda just in general have fond memories of hanging out as kids and kinda wonder how we might be able to relate now espically if them being trans in some way like I vaugely heard is true…

Heh this was just gonna be a funny story about childhood that’s even funnier with how the people involved’s identity’s changed over time but I I geninuely miss my old friend now….

I Remeber they were into My Chemical Romance and knew all about Umbrella Academy WAY before the Netflix show….they liked the teen titans cartoon and identified with Raven at the time (tho there’s a strong possibility this part may have changed) I hung out at their house and we watched like the 2000s X Men and Elektra movies and also scary movie I’m pretty sure, before they came out as lesbian out parents would tease us about “liking each other” but we where really just friends and it was just needlessly awkward.

At that bookstore some weirdo evangelicals tried to prostiyze to us and I was trying to comfort them after the fact and we ended up laughing at the whole concept.

We had a pretty cool music teacher we both liked allot in our small private K-8 cause liked all the DC Marvel stuff like we did (and in their case I think they knew more about like actual music stuff too lol)

I know this is a long shot I don’t even know if they’re ON tumblr but I’m gonna tag a bunch of relevant terms and see if they’re out there. If you’re NOT this person please reblog and boost this and increase the chances of them finding it…and if you ARE this person idk if you Remeber me but I’m Alex we went to High Point together, you probably changed allot from what I vaugely heard at the end and well I have too perhaps in similar ways I’d love to reconnect with you and catch up and see we’re where both at now. You were a pretty cool friend and I genuinely hope you’re thriving now I know you’ve had allot of difficulties over the years and I genuinely wish the best for you….

[actualbird]

pardon me! I wanted to try the game tears of thermos, but I’m a little nervous since I don’t play these type of games. Do you have any advice on how to best enjoy myself and invest in its world/characters?

hi anon!!! im so glad you wanna try out tot!!! i do have some tips, but before i go there i must inform you that autocorrect mustve done something to your message because you said tears of thermos and i cldnt rest until i edited a meme of that

sjfhavkkHJVKJHJKSD OKAY ANYWAY, TIPS!!!!

im particularly interested in how you worded this ask!! ive had a lot of people ask me tips on how to start tot (and the relevant ones, i'll link in this ask too) but never on a narrative investment/immersion angle. so my tips for this will be a bit different

but before that, here are my past tips from my tot tips tag

general tips for a newbie (gameplay tips and story tips)

how to "predict" upcoming events

tot stories in chronological order (only updated til july 2022)

now for your question i guess my biggest tip would really just be to treat tears of themis like a visual novel that just so happens to update with more stories.

idk how much of a newbie you are to this genre, but when i got into this game i had NEVER played any other otome before in my life. so it was all new to me!! and i basically treated it like an updating visual novel, this is My Method, and that got me quite invested (as is obvious from my entire blog). so when i say "treat it like a visual novel" i mean:

im personally not particularly a card completionist or a gacha enthusiast. which, hell yeah, this game wont bankrupt me LOL. but also, since cards are the main way where new nxx boy stories are released through, for any card i dont have, i just watch it on youtube. because basically every card, event plot, minigame, etc gets uploaded by someone a little bit after its release. so if youre bummed you missed an event card but you dont really Want the card, you just want its story, just search it on youtube!! search [card name/event name] + [whichever language dub you prefer] + tears of themis and voila! new story for you to read!!!

if you want plot = read Main Story. this is where all the heavy main plot happens and it is SO GRIPPING AND RIVETING.

if you want character development and relationship development between mc and each boy = read Personal Story Bloom Chapter, and then the respective nxx boy's Anniversary 1 card, Personal Story Sweet Chapter 1 and 2, and then the respective nxx boy's Anniversary 2 card. the personal story routes (aka the routes where mc eventually ends up with the boy romantically) are where a BULK of characterization and character development happens, imo

if you want romance and oneshot dates = explore the available cards!!! the tot wiki has an archive of all the available cards per boy on each of the characters' main pages. for example, here's luke's page. scroll down to the cards section and Behold. Luke Stories As Far As The Eye Can See

these pages dont have the story transcribed in them, but theyre great to use as a directory or a map of cards. so if any of the cards catch your eye, then take urself to youtube to find the card and voila (again)! new story for u to experience!

(note: SSRs always have a full 6 act story. SRs either have a 6 act story that is unvoiced, OR 2 voice messages. MRs always have 2 voice messages. R cards have no story and no voice messages)

if you want nxx team dynamics = read and/or play the events!!!! this is my favorite thing, the tot events are a treasure trove of fun cases and awesome team dynamics. in the game itself, some of the big events are available as DLC for anybody to play themselves at any time. to get there, X-NOTE Story -> lower and rightmost button Event -> upper and rightmost button Past.

if theres anything i would reccommend the MOST, itd be to download and pllay the event Mysteries of the Lost Gold. it's so good. it's my favorite event story. trust me on this

i hope these tips can help!!! happy playing :DDD

[agent-troi]

Twenty questions for fanfic writers

I was tagged by the incomparable @baronessblixen 🫶🫶

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

104

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

396,351

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The X-Files, Star Trek, and I have one The West Wing fic

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Platonic Procreation

Security Questions

Eden

Mother Knows Best

The MSR Files

5. Do you respond to comments?

Sometimes! I usually try to respond if someone commented about something specific, and essay length comments always deserve a reply❤️ also if someone comments saying they reread your fic bc that's the best feeling in the world

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm I only have a few that end angsty but I guess that would be my canon compliant post-IVF Rain King fic, Driftwood Lullaby

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Aqua Vitae, but I also wanna spotlight one of my earlier fics, in which Mulder gives Scully a real wedding ring for their case in Arcadia, Though the Heavens Fall

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a couple of nitpicky comments and one actual hate comment (ironically that one was on my most popular fic!😆)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No, I know it's popular but it's just not my thing either to write or to read

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't written one yet but I have several ideas for TXF/Star Trek, TXF/SVU, TXF/Bones gathering dust in my google docs😅

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not as far as I know

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Several! I contributed a chapter to Anahata: The Heart Chakra, Eden, The Amazing Muldeeni, and Agent Scully is Already in Love

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

MSR!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A prequel to Purplerow by @katy-kt-katie, an AU in which Scully is an astronaut, about the time she made first contact with aliens on Mars (I really wanna finish this but life has decided to just keep throwing bricks at me and I haven't been able to concentrate enough to write in so long😭)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm good at dialogue😅

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle so much with choosing the right word to describe something sometimes, and also finding alternative words to use when I accidentally use the same word four or five times in the same paragraph😂

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like reading it! I think it adds to the atmosphere of the story, but I don't think I've ever done it myself except to copy and paste the German dialogue from Triangle😅

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Lord of the Rings, I wrote a sequel featuring Aragorn and Arwen's daughter and posted it on Instagram back when I was active in the Tolkien fandom circa 2015 (posting fic on instragram probably sound super weird lmao but it was what people did, they'd post a pic corresponding to the fic and the chapter went in the captions)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm pretty proud of the fic I wrote last October for Mulder's birthday, Where a Million Stars Catch Fire

Tagging @katy-kt-katie @tofuttim @television-overload @cecilysass @slippinmickeys @skelavender @virtie333 and idk who else writes and hasn't been tagged so if you see this have at it lol

[johaerys-writes]

15 questions for 15 friends

I was tagged by my dear @elveny, thank you so much!! 💙

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: No! Well, yes, after a character in Greek mythology, but not after a parent or grandparent or anything like that.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Yesterday. I was reading the Iliad again for an anon ask and was going through the part where Achilles kills Hector and oooh that scene got hands 🥲 I cry a lot though, I'm a crier, and a lot of the time it's about patrochilles so it's par for the course really lol

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: Nope.

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?: I'm fairly active generally but I don't play sports at all because I don't like them. I tried several sports while in school before accepting that I simply don't like team sports and I'm not good at them, but I had much more fun with solo sports. I swam for several years somewhat competitively, and I also did track for a while. 

DO YOU USE SARCASM?: I think so? But usually only with people I'm very comfortable with, because I can never know what would go down well or not with a person I don’t know. 

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: That’s hard to answer because I feel like it depends on the situation. Most of the time, it's body language and their general vibe. Meeting new people can be nerve wracking so I try to "read" them and act accordingly, if that makes sense? I don't want to step on any toes or say the wrong thing so figuring out what the other person's mood or interests might be usually helps. But that often means I miss out on other things on first encounter, like... their eyes or smile or something?? Lol idk man, socialising while on the spectrum is hard 🥲

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?: Brown.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?: I think I'll pick scary movies because I do like horror and dark stuff and I don't care if the ending is happy or not as long the story is interesting. 

ANY TALENTS?: it took me so long to think of something for this and I honestly don't know? I'm assuming by 'talents' we mean something you're born with, not something you've worked hard at like some kind of craft, right? In that case, I think I have pretty good visual memory, especially when it comes to books and articles and such, or the written word in general. Oh and I'm weirdly good at orientation, I can usually find my way no matter where I am. Which isn't such a huge deal now in the era of google maps, but back when there was no gps it was a pretty useful skill to have haha. 

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: Greece.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?: Writing, reading, gaming, crocheting, drawing, going to museums! I'm constantly on the look out for new exhibitions and stuff, it's my favourite thing in the world to do. 

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: A darling and dastardly cat, aka my extension when I'm at home. 

HOW TALL ARE YOU?: 1,68m

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?: Oh god I freaking hated school, absolutely hated it LOL I can't think of one thing I liked in it. I guess I only enjoyed the very last year of high school when I was preparing for the Panhellenic exams because like... it felt like there was finally some kind of purpose or reason to be there at all, even though there was a lot of pressure. I loved Ancient Greek, Latin, History and Philosophy. 

DREAM JOB?: I don't have one, I don’t dream of labour 🙃 I don't think there's any sort of job anyone could do in this capitalist hellscape we're all currently living in that would be enjoyable enough to make up for, well... living in a capitalist hellscape lol. If I could, I'd just go back to uni, probably. That was my happy place and I miss it. And I'd also write a bunch and read a bunch and take up all sorts of creative hobbies, and probably travel more. 

Tagging forth to a bit more than 15 friends lol sorry (and I know I'm forgetting ppl): @baejax-the-great @thiefylilelf @vimlos @mogwaei @gloriesunsung @aymayzing @cordelia---rose @knicknocknick @aristi-achaion @peachandfig @heypax @darlingpoppet @tevivinter @mary-aries @tragediegh @pikapeppa @figsandphiltatos always with love and without any pressure 💕

[hypnoneghoul]

I wish there was more we readers n stuff could do, like beyond the normal stuff of reblogging, adding tags/comments, sending asks n stuff. I try to do it as much as possible (I still forget to a lot times as well, I'll admit 1000%)

it just feels like, one persons hate/disrespect can do much more damage then one persons appreciation.

and pls dont get me wrong. Im not saying thats the writers/artists fault, at all. Thats first off, just how the human brain is programmed and secondly, its not yalls fault that shitty people have so much hate in their hearts. its just a statement of, feeling powerless to help more? I guess???

like obviously I dont think Im some fucking Perfect Bitch who's Come to Save the Sad Tumblr Artists lol. thats not what I mean.

idk this was all just a rambling stream of conscious kinda thing, sorry. if you dont want to publish this ask pls dont feel like you need to, like just delete it or keep it or do whatever you want with it.

Just know that, while theres plenty of dickheads, theres also a lot of us out here who really really really fucking appreciate what you do and see your art for the beauty it is

I het you and I think artists can feel a little ungrateful sometimes because of how one hate comment can do more than one good one. sometimes it is like that but, at least for me, the support is positively overwhelming and keeps me going on here. for me this is not something that could be thrown over by hate quickly but it won't be the case for everyone. I love each and every person who interacts with my creations and shows support and appreciation one way or another. I wouldn't be here if not y'all, that's is <3

[vtforpedro]

long life update - TWs in tags

It feels like it's been ages. I'm so exhausted and in a lot of physical pain. Going on two months of it being the worst it's been right after a couple of months of the best it's been. Chronic pain + grief + trying to get help from doctors who should have their licenses revoked + dealing with a shit relationship with my mom + a good, decades-long friendship ending + the ongoing disability process with the SSA + LAW FIRMS.

I'm so fucking tired. I don't remember if I updated that the appeals council decided not to review my case because the 'judge followed the law' except that he didn't. So, as it turns out, my original attorney (and he did not tell me this) before he left, wrote that if they denied me, it should go to federal district court.

I'm now working with a NY law firm to take my case to federal court because my current law firm believes it has merit, and I guess they do, too. That's how fucked the decision was, and I'm glad my initial reaction of bewilderment and anger was spot on lol

The good news is, it should only take another year! ._.

My neurologist is the worst doctor I have ever come across and I'm quite literally stuck with him with nowhere else to go. I wish him upon no one. I'm so tired of calling the SSA, getting documents to them, signing things for law firms, contacting law firms, getting no responses, and contacting them all over and over again. I am in incredible physical pain, like this actively makes my neuro stuff worse. Everything makes it worse. I have autonomic testing in a few days, and idk if I'll get through it b/c I have to stop the meds that keep me out of the ER two days prior, and it scares me.

My relationship with my mom is fractured and I don't feel like family therapy is actually helping. I had to end a friendship with someone I love and care very much about but who was growing too comfortable mistreating me and I was giving them too many passes 😞 I've known them for the better part of two decades.

It's been over seven months since my cat Isis died. I don't know how. It feels like she was here just yesterday. Yet, all the nights I've sat and talked to her and wept are all too real. I miss her more than I can say. She was my soul cat. I keep thinking about tomorrow and how she'd be so nosy getting into EVERYthing when gifts are opened at Christmas. Having to stop her, move her, laugh because she was just so n o s y and it was hilarious. And she's not gonna be here for that ever again.

I'm having a really fucking hard time tonight. It's just hitting me how god-awful this year has been and how I have a bad week to look forward to before even getting to the new year lmao I have to stop taking so many of my medications 48hrs before 1.5-2hrs of testing to see if we can find out Yet Another Thing Wrong With Me but knowing my luck it'll be 'no findings' and the mystery of why my core body temp plummets to 93.9 in the blink of an eye won't be solved until I have suffered juuuuust enough.

It never ends. Never. I want to give up. I'm so tired of doing this. I don't want to anymore. It never. fucking. ends.

I absolutely cannot say it's all been bad, though. I've met incredible, warm, welcoming, giving, kind people this year. Y'all have helped me more than you know and I'm so so so lucky to be able to call you my friends. This year has sucked for so many of us, but I want to say I'm proud of you, and I love you all very much.

My fic is gonna be printed in a hardcover zine early next year. I participated in a Big Bang for the first time and that'll also go out early next year. I'm hosting a tiny event in my tiny fandom server that I'm super excited about. I have a raffle prize to write (bagginshield !!!! SO EXCITED to revisit the og otp) and a Valentine's gift to write for another fandom.

I posted 401,000 words this year and wrote many more unfinished wips, plus a long one (90k) that I am very invested in finishing.

I painted and drew so much this year. I improved a lot, too! I got a couple of portraits printed from inprnt to see how they looked, and it was MY art, and they were GORGEOUS. I thought I would hate seeing my art professionally printed, but no! I almost cried. They looked so lovely.

My cat Lilly had health issues almost immediately following Isis's passing, but she is doing so well right now. She's blossomed into another cat, and while she's not my constant companion, she is with me so much more than she used to be. When she walks onto my desk I am to stop everything and hold her like baby in my arms until she decides that's enough (or I really need to move) lmaaao she's such a goober. My heart cat. <3

I'm not doing well right now--my MH is bad. Especially tonight. But it felt good to write the good things.

I'm sorry for my lack of replies and kinda disappearing. I'm running on fumes. I hope next year will bring physical relief so emotional relief can happen.

For those of you facing difficulties of any kind, I am holding your hand in spirit.