#idk if the concept is readable or not

[pickledpaw]

Dodge

[thedailyvio]

Day 253

[marsbotz]

trying not to go crazy and start killing people every time i see another mane 6 redesign post

[labyrynth]

i’ll be honest, the aeon/god concepts in hsr are really fucking cool?

like. take an abstract concept—preservation, abundance, destruction, elation, etc—now dial it up to a thousand percent. congratulations! you now have amoral, enigmatic beings who exist solely to embody their singular aspect—and they will take that aspect as far as they are able to.

it’s really driving home that Divine and Monstrous are not mutually exclusive

[fey-changeling]

@marnz Omg “I don't care if she's the devil I don't want to be saved!”?????

Ohoho, right, this is the only venture maidens fanfic i'm currently working on (title from this song*), and I'm so sorry I think I have to lore-dump for this to make sense.

Essentially it's about two women who love each other very much who have been forced to make horrible choices/sacrifice their happiness and each other in service of their greater good. It's about them both knowing that they'll be instrumental in each other's destruction but neither wanting to hurt the other. (Feel free to skip straight to the snippet)

Rem: demi-goddess of death, loathes her father the evil god of death

Isolde: minor royal, very powerful cleric of fate

75-ish years ago they fell in love and established a mercenary organisation serving the fates. A few months ago Rem left the organisation, shortly after she stole an ancient artefact and used it to kill her father (no mortal has ever killed a god before and the gods all freaked out). Rem went into hiding, she had Plans™. Months later the fates decide Isolde can't be trusted due to her relationship with Rem, they take away her power permanently and banish her from the organisation. Rem's real goal is to destroy fate itself, severing all the gods' control over mortals.

This fic is set between Rem killing her father and Isolde losing her power, because what if they had met and the fates had a genuine reason to think that Isolde might betray them, and it's angsty and bittersweet.

And here's the snippet

The bedchamber was lit by soft candlelight, and Rem stood by the bed. Unarmoured, hair a mess, clothes crumpled. Although she had clearly been waiting, she was tensed ready to fly, like a prey animal cornered by a predator.

Isolde hadn’t expected the rush of relief or the pain that followed it. Anger and resentment yes, but not relief, not a fresh wave of heartbreak. She was going to cry, gods, she wanted to cry so badly, and she wasn’t sure if she was going to collapse, or how she would rid the building tension from her limbs in any way but spontaneously combusting. Then Rem had crossed the room in a blur, crashed into her and held her tightly against her chest.

It felt like a homecoming. It should have felt like a sin.

When they let go enough to look at each other, Rem���s fingertips moved very lightly over her face, tears rolling unchecked down her cheeks. She was exhausted, it was in every line of her body, the way she held herself. There were dark circles under her eyes and her face was gaunt. Isolde wouldn't think about why. Gently, she wiped the tears away with her thumb.

“Isolde,” Rem brushed her lips against her fingertips. “Isolde,” buried her fingers in her loose hair. “Isolde—” Isolde kissed her for she felt she would go mad if Rem said her name one more time. It was a brief, soft kiss, more than a little uncertain, hiding all that choking desperation.

“Oh, is this…? Is this alright—?” Rem kissed her more deeply, and when they parted Isolde swayed, her head spinning in that oh-so-familiar way.

“It’s worse.” She remarked, clutching at Rem’s shirt hard enough to turn her knuckles white. Rem opened her mouth, likely to apologise, and Isolde kissed her until she felt she would pass out, until she could barely think for the pain it brought. She broke the kiss, gasping into Rem’s shoulder as the world tilted violently around her.

“You absolute fucking masochist.” Her back pressed against the door, Rem leant over her, smiling. She wanted her, she missed her. She wanted to consume Rem and be consumed in turn. Rem would let her, she would indulge her, she always had.

* @rusalkaandtheshepherdgirl i'm tagging you in this because it's your fault this song is stuck in my head all the time 🥰

[dotsunflowers]

several sentence sunday

is anyone interested in a wyatt fic? idk, but I've been working on one that covers the space between where we left off season 4 and where I imagine season 5 will start. still in progress bc unknowns about s5 haven't been helping writers block lol. sharing this start here because I've never worked with a sensitivity reader and/or beta reader before, but really think this fic might benefit from one if there's someone who would be interested. if that's you, feel free to contact me! for now, here's the first portion of the fic:

“9-1-1. What’s your emergency?”

“This guy on a bike just got creamed by a truck—he went right over the hood—he’s not responding—" I. “summer, and its golden heat, and my young body, never hurt before that day, just bruised and scraped and dappled by the pox of childhood —” —Paul Guest, “1986”

“It is the duty of a spine to destroy the universe; or, a spine is the universe’s method of acknowledging this duty to self-destruct.” —Thomas Moynihan, Spinal Catastrophism

Wyatt Harris knew better than most how a person’s whole world could change in an instant.

He had lived it: See, one day, your dream job is a career in tech. You’re waiting to see if you get a make-up interview for an internship at one of the most prestigious firms in the country. Then the building is collapsing, with your dad in it.

One day, you’re at an internship. Then your boss, who you are realising is actually kind of toxic, is giving you a lecture on how lucky you should feel doing grunt work that doesn’t help anyone but the wallets of him and his investors, and it dawns on you that your dream job might not be what you it thought it was.

One day, you’re telling your mom your doubts about college, about your career plan. Then she’s telling you you’ll go to college anyway. Give it the college try, so to speak. Gain access to the opportunities she didn’t have. And you listen, and your doubts abate. And you enroll.

One day, you’re just hanging out in the dorms, avoiding your roommate. Then you meet a girl.

And you and her are just having fun. Until you’re not.

And so you’re in a degree programme, and then you’re not.

You’re training to becoming a firefighter. You study fire science, learn the basics of first aid, emergency response. You climb ropes and ladders daily, you already have job offers lined up. You’re the top of your class. Then you’re not.

You are out cycling. Then you’re not.

[solisaureus]

Seeing people compare Will and Nico to Achilles and Patroclus is always weird for me because like. First off, Clarisse and Silena are the obvious intentional parallel. Secondly, there is a very specific reason why Riordan actively chooses NOT to compare Will and Nico to Achilles and Patroclus- way too much bad blood between Apollo and Achilles. I feel like most people are only familiar with Achilles through TSOA and the Hades game, and as such often understate WHY Apollo killed him. And why likening him and Patroclus to Will and Nico is in bad taste.

(Hint: Achilles had been warned in advance by his mother that he would die at the hands of Apollo if he killed Apollo's son. He didn't listen and killed TWO of them: Tenes because he intervened when Achilles tried to rape his sister, and Troilus was a twelve year old who Achilles tried to rape, chased into a sanctuary of Apollo, and beheaded/mutilated him at the altar- it's widely regarded as the worst crime Achilles ever committed. So Apollo killed both Patroclus and Achilles, to avenge both of the deaths. I don't think Will is a fan of Achilles, guys.)

ive never been a fan of fans comparing solangelo to patroclus and achilles either, mostly because it just kind of smacks of....idk, reductionism? just the fact that both couples are greek and gay? beyond that their parallels are incredibly limited and usually kind of a reach. and yeah, skimming over the fact that silena and clarisse are the canon patrochilles parallel never sits right with me either.

disclaimer that i did compare will to patroclus in my fic Solace, as a way to illustrate the role of healers in a conflict, not because it has anything to do with his romance with achilles.

the bad blood between apollo and achilles is also a factor. while i do like the song of achilles as a piece of fiction, it does irk me that it's become defining to many young peoples' understanding of achilles and the iliad. I know it's because it's a lot more readable and accessible than classical texts or academic analyses, so i'm not trying to come off as elitist or condescending. but it does bother me that most young people have this one specific view of achilles as a figure (that he's a sensitive lover who met a tragic fate) when there are eons of history and propaganda surrounding him. I believe that in writing tsoa, Madeline Miller wanted to humanize Achilles by expanding on his love for Patroclus in the Iliad, which is a bit ironic considering that that's now become the dominant view of his story. But tsoa is just one interpretation of the myth of achilles, and it's become regarded as the true, canonical one in pop culture.

I think that what bothers me most is that the popular conception of achilles now is as a fictional character, when what he is is a mythical figure. the difference being that a fictional character is sourced from one canon story and is written by only a few people who determine their canonical traits. a mythical figure is sourced from a culture, and in this case the whole world, and cultural portrayals and interpretations of that figure evolve and change over time to reflect the values of the culture telling their story.

For example, achilles was vilified (and hector glorified) by the ancient romans, because achilles was a young soldier who refused to obey his commander and fight because it conflicted with his ideals. this is something that the romans detested and found dangerous (territory can only be conquered with loyal legions). similar discussions about achilles are had in modern militaristic societies like the united states.

I'm going off on a huge tangent here. I guess what I mean to say is that it bothers me too when solangelo fans make this comparison, because i think it is not fitting with will and nico's characters, and because i have a lot of complaints with the fandomization of mythology. And I know that's rich coming from a percy jackson fan, but there it is.

On the other hand, I recognize that the historical and academic texts written about greek myth and achilles specifically are not nearly as accessible as highly-readable fiction books like tsoa and percy jackson. so while this does personally irk me, I don't think the people who do it are stupid or wrong, because like...realistically, I can't expect the average 14 year old solangelo fan to know about the murder of troilus.

[slightly-warmer-hibiscus-tea]

CW: OC talk + Rambling / Blood / Gore / Censored Nudity (character sheet) / Mentions of Drugging

(idk why these warnings are so intense, but I swear it's all just silly OC talk T^T)

I’m kinda sorta working on more (comprehensible) TS OC stuff in between studying right now… I wanna hurry and talk about them but without info dumping (if given the opportunity I will without hesitation 😔…) because in terms of the best stories I have conjured up for OCs in general Naudedel and Noble are surprisingly good and I’m very excited to share how deranged they are together…

Right now it’s just about making Naudy readable and working on extra fun stuff… like monsters!

I’m trying to work out his “monster” form…. The concept is there, but the execution is just not ticking the right boxes for me right now… also, the line art at the end is old and probably will go unused, but thought it was something to add here because like hehe look at my deranged son :)

When it comes to the writing I'm going to split it into two chapters. The first half will be a summary+ of his upbringing, and the second on how he fucked up his arm and why. Just enough info to get a read on what his deal is pretty much. I just need to edit the first chapter and rewrite some parts then it's ready to annoy the world!

I'm trying to think of a good design for his original mother... I'm thinking dark hair and milf (¬‿¬)･ﾟ✧ ... honestly I need to start drawing out the designs for all the other TS OCs I've accumulated over the year (?) here's a fun list-

Hickery (bloodhound OC... dilf oc...I've already been made fun of for his name, but it stuck to me so I'm keeping it!)

Maya (another bloodhound OC)

Cove (Hound's ex-husband)

Cetcher's gf + informant, who still needs a good name...

and that one guy! (doesn't have a name yet... but is important in Hound's part of the story... she bashed some of his guys in the back of head with a hammer... it was a whole thing... Leander got involved... gang war stuff, don't worry about it...)

There are technically more OCs, like that Hightown lady Noble befriended during their first few weeks in town. However, I'm not sure if I'm including her in the final plot meeting. But yeah, anyway I'm rambling so on to Noble news!

For Noble, everything is plotted out in advance surprisingly…character playlist and all... just need to find the words to explain their story other than “parasite with a weird God complex feels guilty” I do have some old memes and art of them though!

Noble curse stuff...

Childhood cult stuff...

Current reality...

Poor person masquerade dress censored for tumblr...

Noble folks!

I actually wrote out a whole little thing for the black dress in a what-if scenario of...

"Oh! ,,,What if there is a masquerade in Hightown and Noble sneaks in to get some information on a certain individual who might know a thing or two about curses, but turns out the whole event if devious and their all eating babies or some fucked up shit,,,, and what if while sneaking around they see Leander and are like 'what's he doing here?' and they lock eyes but he ignores them as he ducks into a closed off area with some important looking people,,, once he comes out he walks past them and they lock eyes again as he leaves,,, Noble chases after him and once they catch up they get to see his cold and detached side right before he hides them from the other guest,,, after they talk for a bit, or more like Leander talking over them and their worries as he slowly wipes their memories while they protest that it's not fair only to wake up the next day back in their room,,, thankfully their curse is good for more then just silly bouts of insanity so they have a hunch on what happened, everyone around them who knew where they went the night before were obviously worried and the general consensus is that they might have been drugged and should go check in with Kuras just in case (wow this is getting long...) but on their way to the clinic they run into Leander and of course discusses their current problem with him ,,, words are exchanged,,, a kabedon may occur,,, as he whispers in their ear,,, all fun till he erases their memories again, or at least tires before receiving a little gift that makes him look at this whole curse thing from a different angle." DEEP BREATH! ...Anyways... yeah.

But it was taking so long to write out that I ended up losing motivation so yeah... like everything else we will pray the motivation comes back so I can finish that... plus who knows, I might make an x reader version of it if I can. (don't hold your breath... I'm extremely slow)

Anyway, I'm gonna to shut up now because I've yapped enough. I'mma make some hibiscus tea (ironic) and head to bed... Night night, if you made it this far, thank you for listening to my craziness <3

[penaltyboxboxbox]

ab the ferrari suits, there are a few things I'd change like the little square around the shell logo and the saturation of hp (what could they have done realistically lbr that's a title sponsor) but I??? Like it?? I think the dedication to the engineers is cute?? And the kits honestly ate idc same w the trophy

I really like the traditional trophies but sometimes trying smth different it works out and sometimes it doesn't (zandvoort sorry some of the messages were nice but overalllll ehhhhh)

at the end it's just personal preference but I do think it's getting disproportionate hatery

imo they could come out in actual trash, but if the car is fast I'll take it

literally i get people hate logos but they need to move on from it because at the end of the day sponsor logo readability and adherence to brand standard will always come first...like they are Not Allowed to display sponsor logos in "incorrect" ways its just part of what they agree to when they bring on a sponsor and that means bright blue hp and shell being displayed on a solid color bg. i actually think they managed very well with shell by putting it in the yellow square, it fits in very modularly and reads well into the overall concept w using yellow as the dominant color there...like they couldve just slapped it on a white square like some other teams are stuck doing for their sponsor logos cmon..theyre overall really lucky to have so many sponsors who DO allow them to display their logos in a color like yellow that is most certainly not in their brand guidelines. personally i think that alone speaks to how well these sponsors view ferrari as a brand and a partner, its like kind of insane to imagine a huge company ALLOWING the recoloring of their logo like that, easily they couldve been required to keep every sleeve logo white or something..

I think we are way too harsh on ferrari when they are LITERALLY the only team that even tries to do anything interesting with race suits and has pretty consistently given us a bunch of different designs. and not even just recolors!! new designs! its great and i wish more teams would take the risk, it makes it a lot of fun. I think the hate on the carbon fiber look is lame, its a pattern thats so quintessentially racecar, i think the sleeve on the jerseys looks great and very fashionable. and I think the race suits are FUN i think they feel kind of old school and are very striking, they almost remind me of like a subtle jockey silk. i already love the vintage racing stripes feel of the regular suits this year, and i think the yellow striping + the pattern looks great and is really bold and refreshing. so much fucking better than a boring ass black race suit. try thinking about sports gear as something meant to be eye catching, iconic, memorable, collectible, and not just like. idk...sexy for an aesthetic post...idk

dont get me started on trophies, i really do view the trophies, especially ones by contemporary artists, as just that. contemporary art. and while im all good w people having their opinions and having discussions on that art, i hate how often it turns into just like. the tired old takes of Modern Art Bad, Classical Art Good. i actually really loved the zandvoort trophies lookswise, the sentiments written were a little eh, but i thought it was a great way to refresh the trophies, a very cool technique used, and a great way to get people talking! I love the monza trophies, as I said, i think theyre really beautiful n compelling sculptures...

i just think generally a lot of people do in fact have narrower vision if what they believe is "good art" than even they think they do, and i think a majority of people completely misunderstand sports design and just don't like seeing things that are different/not sexy 🤷‍♂️

[brawltogethernow]

I don't know if you're the best person to ask this but you're the only person on my dash who reblogs Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya shit in 2023. I have to know, did Haruhi... finish? I know it was a light novel series (tho I've only seen the anime) but like did the story arcs conclude? Are they translated?

You've lucked out: I am. It did not finish, but it got a lot further than the anime took you. Everything is translated.

The anime adapts light novel volumes 1-3 and some of 5 (short story collection partially set before 4). The movie adapts 4. I've heard "Endless Eight" is the way it is because they were set on doing 4 as a film, and...didn't just use their episode slots to adapt achronologically despite their existing reputation for doing that for some reason? Incomprehensible. Anyway.

If you haven't seen the movie because it came out after the moment was already dead, you should, even if you were just kind of neutral-positive on the show, because from a purely objective perspective it's a contender for the best quality movie following an anime show that exists. Also that installment is just a much better stopping point than where the TV part left things. Like the ~entire concept~ remains open, but some arcs actually evolve or wrap in a way where you can be satisfied with the story you've gotten.

So 4 1/2 volumes have been animated. There are 13 light novels. 4 is a stronger book than the preceding volumes, and the quality continues to wobble irregularly upwards from there. It pulls off another unprecedentedly good entry that isn't an ending but is a pretty acceptable place to put it down in 11 and 12 (which are functionally one two part book). 13 came out a literal decade later in 2020 and is another short story collection; nice to have but doesn't change the metrics much except to make the indefinite hiatus look slimmer on camera.

All of the books have been officially translated by Yen Press. (They recently did some sort of rerelease that didn't fix any of their typos but removed the slurs they added in the first place? So that's...nice ? ?) Everything they've covered except a chunk of 13 has also been unofficially translated, which I like to keep on hand because while the YP translation is very readable, it...requires a second opinion sometimes. There are also still some loose short stories that only have fan translations, and apparently there's about to be an official release of some nonessential short story collection from twenty years ago I heard about for the first time in my life a month ago. (Also there's a like, officially licensed Koizumi POV fanfiction short, fanlation only.)

Will Tanigawa ever put an actual cap on the series? Idk it's not technically impossible. It seems more likely to me that he'll pull off one more absolutely batshit installment that resolves nothing and then vanish forever except to write a new short story every eight years. It's worth catching up though imho. The later books do a lot to pull the earlier ones up behind them retroactively. Themes solidify, elements that were wavering between parody and deconstruction collapse into sincere reconstruction, the characters actually like each other, that sort of thing.

[3rrorsnas]

I found some cool userboxes and found the concept fun and cute so here they are :

[id: this user [static noises]]

self explanatory lol

[id: this user is very bad at describing things, including their emotions]

also self explanatory./srs neg/ altho it was easy with inky- /srs pos

✨🤍

[id: this user finds comfort in cats]

I do, I love em all. even tho I can't hug them because of my haphephobia- sigh /gen neg

[id: this user is always lost in their thoughts]

true. (idk who the person in the picture is tho, idk if it adds to the context-)/srs gen

[id: this user has a feeling they're not in Kansas anymore and that they must be over the rainbow]

pffff this one is funny, I thought how it could be a metaphor for me getting together with inky or something ehehe/gen lh

[id: this user loves blankets]

I dooooo, they're so comfyyyy ✨✨✨, and also it's a way for me to hug people without triggering myself too much-/gen

[id: this user is losing their sense of humanity]

does this count if you're already not a human? lol (I don't know exactly what it means tbh, I'm gonna interpret it similarly to losing your sanity or smth)/gen lh

[id: this user is soft and likes soft things]

honestly yeah- sometimes I feel like people brush off an entire aspect of my personality, like yeah obviously I'm harsh to people I don't like but I'm kind to people that I like. also I like plushies and dresses and everything, they're cute and comfy 🫶✨/gen

[id: this user appreciates their mutuals immensely]

it's only one but heh, they're here/lh gen pos

---

I decided to add the ids after I realized that these are pictures and are probably not readable by screenreaders-

but I don't know exactly how this (Tumblr in general) works, so tell me if I did it wrong or something idk/srs info

---

I might find some more userboxes if I can ehehe, these are fun ✨/gen pos

[the-aviary-system]

Aviary System Intro Post

We've been putting this off for too long it's time to make something. We'll edit this as time goes on. For now, basic info and a list of current headmates. It should be a pretty decent frame of reference for our system, account, and individual headmates.

It's gonna get long so I'm gonna drop a read-more here.

Feel free to ask questions about our system :) we love answering and aren’t shy about interacting with doubles or sourcemates for the most part.

We're traumagenic, probably an OSDD system but not diagnosed. We are pro-endo and will block anti-endo blogs. So if you've got a problem with endogenic systems, get out. You don't know them better than they do.

We won’t block you outright but if you reblog a lot of content from anti-endo users that isn’t outright anti-endo (like generic system experiences with a “endos dni” tag on it), we won’t follow back. We have “anti endo,” “endos dni,” and similar tags filtered so it shows us even if your repost doesn’t have those tags. We have them filtered because anti-endo people suck and we don’t want to accidentally reblog something from them!

On that topic, we're also supportive of xenogenders, neopronouns, otherkin, and other stuff like that. Bigotry will not be tolerated even if we don't have someone in our system who identifies with a certain label.

We don't have a full DNI list yet but it's kinda the usual for the most part, don’t be a dick or a bigot.

We tend to dislike blocking people since we want people to be allowed to speak, but if we say we’re done with an argument and that we’ll start blocking people who try to continue it, we mean it. That’s something we have to do for our mental health and if one member of the system doesn’t start blocking people to end an argument, someone else will.

Some of our headmates are littles and our host age regresses so we may interact with agere content, we feel obligated to say that our littles and regressors are not like this as some sort of kink, this is not DDLG, do not treat them as such. Our littles do not consent to being sexualized and that is a blockable offense for their safety.

Due to having littles we will refrain from following more adult blogs to curate our feeds for their comfort. Also, we won’t reblog or post NSFW on our account. That’s not a DNI, we just probably won’t follow you if you post too much of that, but we’re not gonna like block you or anything.

(Maybe we should make a sideblog dedicated to our littles though? Idk)

We're diagnosed with ADHD but probably also have autism, anxiety, and PTSD.

We consider ourselves a transmasc system because most of us are masculine, so you can call us by he/him, though we're used to people referring to us collectively by plural they/them. Ironically a lot of our headmates consider themselves cis in the wrong body bc plurality is just odd like that- even those who do consider themselves trans do so independently of the body, instead being trans in headspace.

We have a lot of fictives.

We tag posts with whoever made them or reblogged them under the format of [name] post.

Headmates

Condensed down for readability and ease of upkeep! And also because some of us had concerns we were sharing a little too much info.

Asakayu- he/him, lamia. Not an introject

Darmiir Ashmaul- he/him but in a nonbinary way. An introject of a D&D character, a mimic monk/rogue who played in a game of Curse of Strahd.

Dipper Pines- he/him, Gravity Falls fictive

Emyr- he/it, host, core, otherkin. Has quite a few kintypes, including a number of species, Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel), pink and cyan lizards (Rain World), and Chad (one of the background gators in TADC)

Grima- he/him, Fire Emblem: Awakening fictive

Laios Touden- he/him, Dungeon Meshi fictive

Lerian- he/they, heron laguz (a species from Fire Emblem) but not a direct introject of a canon character.

Link- he/they, Breath of the Wild fictive

Lucifer- any/all, introjected from the general concept of christian mythos rather than any particular media

Mister Mistoffelees- he/him, gli/glitterself, spar/sparkleself, tri/trickself, il/illusionself, Cats (1998) fictive

No-Face/Kaonashi- it/its? Spirited Away fictive. Nonverbal

Pure Vessel- it/its, Hollow Knight fictive, nonverbal

Rum Tum Tugger- he/him, Cats (1998) fictive

Strahd von Zarovich- he/him, Curse of Strahd fictive

Strix- she/they, snowy owl harpy, little. Not an introject

FNaF Fictives

The aftons- Michael (he/him; Husk kin (Hazbin Hotel)), Evan (he/him; little), Vanessa (she her; movie version; rabbitkin)

The Daycare Attendants- Sun (he/him), Moon (he/it), Eclipse (they/them)

Charlotte "Charlie" Emily- she/her, middle, based on the games

Jeremy Fitzgerald- he/she

M.X.E.S.- xe/it, gatekeeper

Mary Schmidt- she/her, adult version (so around the era of FNaC 1)

Mimic- it/any, based on both the books and the games

Rain World

Artificer- she/they

Five Pebbles- he/him

Gourmand- they/he

Hunter- they/them

Monk- they/them

Saint- they/them, maybe it/its?

Scavenger- they/them; looks like either scav ID 48 or 140. No name yet

Sofanthiel- Undecided pronouns

Survivor- they/them

The Amazing Digital Circus

Caine- he/him

Jax- he/him

Pomni- she/her

Zooble- Varies (genderfluid)

Toby Fox

Categorizing Undertale and Deltarune under the same banner for saving space

Kris Dreemurr- they/them

Eldritchrune!Kris- they/them, introjected from lynxgriffin's AU

Napstablook- they/them, star/starself, neb/nebulaself, gala/galaxyself

Rouxls Kaard- he/him

Sans- he/him

Susie- she/her

Vivzieverse

Hazbin/Helluva, also lumped together for space. Also, for the record, we recognize the flaws in these shows. It's just super introjectable for some reason?

Adam- he/him

Alastor- he/him, gatekeeper

Angel Dust- he/him

Charlie Morningstar- she/her

Lucifer Morningstar- he/him

Stolas- he/him

Valentino- he/him, angerholder

Velvette- she/her

Vox- he/him, it/its, wy/wireself, bit/byteself

Wings of Fire

Clay- he/him

Fatespeaker- she/her

Glory- she/her

Moonwatcher- she/her

Qibli- he/him

Starflight- he/him

Sunny- she/her

Tsunami- she/her

[wolfpuppygirl]

i'm tired of so many cool girls getting nuked off this site

and i don't want to go to another site. like cohost has been the nicest i've seen so far and it's still pretty ugly tbh. not that tumblr is a bastion of good web design but i think cohost needs a lot of polishing before it looks decent (it's mostly readability. idk why but when i read anything on that site it jumbles up in my head. which like yeah woo dyslexia but like it's not nearly as bad on tumblr.). bluesky looks cluttered and i don't even fully understand the concept (are they like communities or something kinda like publicly accessible discord servers?). plus none of these sites are guaranteed to not follow the same path as this one and so many others.

if i had my wish, tumblr would get bought by a nonprofit with the express goal of relaxing content restrictions and focusing solely on maintenance and moderation. i don't need new features. i need you to keep this tool alive so it can continue to be a place of community. idk how to run a 501c3 but like i'll do it. i'm sure maintaining this popsicle stick and glue sculpture masquerading as a website isn't easy but like fuck i don't want to stop using this. i just want it to stop being so relentlessly shitty.

[marley-manson]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

I was tagged by @majorbaby, thank you!

I'm tagging @beansterpie @undecimber-of-joy @hetakiba @ofdemonsandangels @yeehawkpierce @hawkfawun @nimuetheseawitch @ofmdmash @quordleona03 @pomegranate @actingcamplibrarian and anyone else who sees this and writes fic and wants to do it, please do and tag me.

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

7 fics, 15 works if we're including vids.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

68,280 words!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mash and Berserk are the only fandoms I've ever finished fic in.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Refraction, Snowmelt, Presumed Dead (though that one may be off slightly because it got hit with a kudos bot for a couple hours before I privated it for a day :| Still, idt it's inflated by much), Army Style, and Under the Influence

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yep!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Toss up between Army Style and War Bonds, but they're both variations on the same theme of Hawkeye's friends dragging him into army conformity. Army Style is probably a little worse actually since I do subtly imply that his post-war life is impacted too.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Presumed Dead and Snowmelt are the ones that end with happily ever after vibes. Snowmelt might be the happiest just in contrast to the source material lol, plus Presumed Dead does have a reminder of the issues they still need to overcome, while I kinda breeze past those in Snowmelt.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not to my knowledge. Never gotten any mean comments.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have 2 fics I'd consider smutfics, but I don't think it's really my wheelhouse. I feel like I can write sex okay, but not when the point is just to be sexy. I'd classify the kind of smut I write as thematically driven lol, or character driven. I need there to be a point, even in basic smut, or I can't write.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No lol I don't have the imagination for it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I'm aware.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

idk! I still go back to Fraser/Vecchio every few years, my love for them just doesn't die for some reason. Griffguts definitely wins in terms of content I've created though, if you put all my meta about them together it's probably encylopedia length.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My apostle Guts concept. I'd love for it to exist in full, but I just don't think it's something I can write. Even if I have the ability, I don't have the drive or the creativity to expand it into a full longfic, which I think it needs to be.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at characterization and character voice. I've got a solid handle on grammar, and I think I'm decent at general flow with my prose. I feel like my fics are reasonably readable. And I can be funny imo. I also think my lack of ~poetic soul~ can be a strength, at least for myself, because I personally am not very into particularly poetic writing. I like concrete, in-the-moment action rather than more abstract vibes, and I think my writing reflects that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I feel like I'm bad at conveying emotion lol. Others have said that they found some of my fics effectively emotional and I'm very happy about that, but if so I think that's incidental of what I'm writing, rather than how I'm writing it. My lack of poetry here is maybe more of a flaw than a strength.

I also worry about my prose being dry, feeling like a slog to read, and/or ungrounded in descriptive detail. I'm inclined towards talking heads floating in a void exchanging dialogue and I have to work to add a sense of setting.

And I have a dismal work ethic lol. I write when and what the mood takes me, I can't sit and force myself to knock out a few hundred words. I have many wips going at once so that when inspiration for one dries up I can turn to another, but I often go long stretches without writing at all. It took me like 2 years to write Army Style.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Idk. I guess I'd say do it if it makes sense for the character and you speak the language or know someone who can effectively translate what you want to say, rather than relying on google translate? Though I feel like you shouldn't include a translation if you're doing this lol, unless it's like, a Discworld or Good Omens fic where end notes are part of the prose style and you're doing something funny with it. It's just clunky in terms of reading experience. Make the meaning obvious through context, or irrelevant but a bonus for multi-lingual readers. Or just use translation convention.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I guess it'd be Harry Potter lol, scribbling mary sue marauder-era fic ideas out in a notebook back when I was 12.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It's Army Style. I'm still kinda coasting on a warm glow of pride for finishing it lol. It's the longest thing I've ever written, a fair amount of research went into it (albeit reading I was doing anyway because I enjoy it lol), and imo it's honestly pretty good as a Hawkbi character study that balances real history and Mash vibes. Better than I thought I'd ever be able to write a few years ago.

[hopeymchope]

Danganronpa Kirigiri: Post-Halftime Report

So you probably remember that I recently discovered the entire Danganronpa Kirigiri series is now available in some form of an English translation. I jumped on reading them immediately, and I started to write this post when I was at the halfway point of reading Danganronpa Kirigiri Vol. 4. Because that's roughly the halfway point of the series a whole, right? But then I went and finished Vol. 4, so now I'm like... idk, 57% through? Though that doesn't actually account for unique page counts in each volume, so maybe I should reconsider that percentage. Er. ......... The point is that I feel like I should probably say something to mark the "roughly halfway" point. Y'know — just write some notes on my thoughts and feelings where things stand so far.

MINOR WARNING: I'm obviously a huge Danganronpa fan. Since late 2016, I've absorbed every possible piece of DR media I could get. So I've basically been waiting seven years to be able to read past Volume 1 of these light novels. (There's been a translation of Vol. 3 out for some time, but ofc I had no desire to skip from 1 to 3, so I passed on reading it before this.) Combine that with the Japanese-reading side of Tumblr HEAVILY hyping these books as one of the best things in the franchise + this being my first "new" DR content in two years, and there are some serious expectations weighing down the DRK light novels. I think that's why I've often felt so critical of them as I've gone through them.

A few different people have warned that these are partially machine translations. In actuality, they're a mix of machine translation + already-existing translations + A.I.-supported cleanup of the text + a human read-through to clean up major dangling errors — albeit by someone who is not a native English OR Japanese speaker. Even Chinese fan translations were used as part of the source, which is NOT IDEAL. With that in mind: How's the result? Honestly, it's DAMNED impressive! Extremely readable and easy to get engaged with! ...... but of course, it's not without issues. Errors in syntax/grammer are pretty common, some concepts forego more natural/accurate translations in favor of slightly awkward explanations, and there's at least one Japanese word that is regularly repeated yet left weirdly untranslated. And yet? Despite those sporadic issues, the story is NEVER difficult to follow. These books are full of complex mysteries with tons of little details building upon one another, and all the necessary information to enjoy them comes through clearly. So: Although a thorough, proper translation and localization by parties fully versed in both languages would still be the ideal scenario, I find that these translations make for a satisfying experience right now.

Given that most of the overall narrative is told via Yui Samidare's first-person POV, I thought we'd learn a lot about Kirigiri's onee-sama. To my surprise, however, Samidare is one of the — perhaps even the — most thinly drawn protagonist(s) I've encountered in any Danganronpa story. Halfway through the light novels, and I've learned very little of her history, absolutely nothing about her home life, and her inner thoughts come in just two forms: 1) Feelings of inferiority/low self-esteem (Of course! It is, after all, a tradition), and 2) Deep adoration of Kirigiri.

I've always adored how Kazuataka gives his characters (even relatively minor ones) numerous traits that make them feel realistically complex, sometimes almost self-contradictory. Basically, that whole GDC presentation he gave on how he develops characters and stories? I LIVE for that shit. By comparison, author Takekuni Kitayama has introduced us to many characters, but the vast majority lack that same complexity. They don't even hint at that kind of complexity. Though perhaps that's because...

I think it's safe to say that the best aspect of Kitayama's writing is his complicated, fascinating mysteries. Reading these, it's no wonder he was asked to come up with the murder scenarios for "Master Detective Archives: Rain Code"! DRK Vol. 2 in particular really engrossed me with its gothic atmosphere and strange setup. Which isn't to say that he's flawless at this stuff, mind you; the main mystery of Volume 3 required Samidare to be pretty thick-headed to not even consider some of the details behind the truth, and it ultimately featured a pretty ridiculous answer to how the murder was executed. But even if that one felt a bit botched, Volume 4 has already made up for it rapidly with numerous twisty mysteries all being juggled by different detectives, each one coming off well-plotted and well-reasoned so far. (Though at least one is not yet fully explained.)

To that previous point: Kirigiri is already solving far more elaborate, complicated mysteries in these light novels than anything she's forced to deal with in DR1. I guess that's fine when you consider that she figures out the truth behind DR1 Chapters 1-4 well ahead of their trials. But now it kinda feels like 13-year-old Kyoko would've resolved every mystery in DR3 much faster than 20-ish Kyoko did in that series. :P I'm only sort-of joking, lol. But hey, maybe she got a little rusty between DR1 and DR3.... ? Or we can justify her more deliberate pace in DR3 by pointing out the ways her efforts were hindered, the fact she was being routinely drugged, and/or noting just how wild the circumstances she had to "solve" truly were. (I mean... the culprit's already dead? The entire primary base has been duplicated in a now-underwater environment? The Savage She-Hulk created a possible Death Cure before dying herself? There's a lot of crazy shit to unpack there :P)

Volume 3 ends with a serious case of "Jin Ex Machina". It's...NOT well-justified by the story, to say the least, but on the plus side? It's executed via a classic trope from action/suspense tales, so I'm inclined to let it slide. :) The end of Volume 3 and the opening of Volume 4 are also when the "grandfather twist" is revealed. I was spoiled about this particular turn of events YEARS ago, but I still believe it's an effective and clever misdirect. The answer is so obvious in retrospect, but Kitayama manages to distract his readers very effectively until the moment he hands both us and Samidare the solution.

RE: Jin, since even the first game I've liked the fact that Kyoko held this resentment towards her father for abandoning her because it feels so real. In a world full of outlandish "psychopop" elements, dealing with a father who abandoned their child is something incredibly grounding bc I know so many fucking people who have this same backstory in their lives. The reveal that he kept a photo of his daughter (in DR1) and wanted Kizakura to help watch out for her (in DR3) then added elements of wish-fulfillment to that backstory; it's pretty typical for a child abandoned by a parent to want to believe that their absentee parent still loved and cared for them in some way, even from afar. DRK takes that "love from afar" much further by having Jin secretly watching over Kyoko all the time while simultaneously never seeing or speaking to her directly... and that's a step too far for my taste. It's hard to swallow that he has such time and/or ability. Thankfully, Kitayama doesn't go so far as to absolve Jin of his sins, which was where I was worried this may be headed. See, we learn that the board of Hope's Peak all but demands that Jin stay away from the Kirigiri family if he's going to continue to advance within the school's hierarchy (and no, this is never explained or justified — even if it's pretty easy to believe Hope's Peak Just Be Like That). This helps keep Jin a somewhat ambiguous figure; sure, he's obviously very concerned about his daughter, but his decision to totally dedicate himself to an organization that keeps him away from her raises doubts for both Samidare and us readers. Which I appreciate.

.......Tohachiro Uzuchi sounds like a fascinatingly weird dude, doesn't he? His total dedication to the Kirgiri Family's legacy despite how it impacted his daughter is something else, yo.

Starting with Volume 4 (and evidently continuing into Volume 5), we're starting to get lengthy chapters where we aren't focused on Samidare OR Kirigiri for the very first time. Instead, these chapters center us on other, different detectives. We don't get to know these characters much at all before we're thrust into focusing on them, PLUS this comes after the series has already made both us and Samidare severely doubt anyone who's registered with the Detective Library. So my first reaction to starting a chapter with one of these newbies is consistently a bored, irritated feeling of "Why should I care about y'all?" Happily, it didn't take me long to quite like Salvador Yadorigi Fukurō — the first of our focal detectives outside of our lead duo. That makes me optimistic for how I'll react to the others' stories.

I've often seen the question "Did DRK really need to take seven volumes?" over the years. And while that may sound a bit, idk, presumptuous? maybe entitled? to many fans (bc ofc an author can take however long they want/need in order to tell the story they want to tell), I admit that I understand and empathize with this questioning mindset. I think this way about movies all the time! "This movie would've been better without these scenes" or "This movie needed X and Y scenes to fully come together/help the pacing." So: Do I think DRK could've benefitted from some kind of edit or even expansion? I'll need to wait until I'm completely finished to feel confident, but right now: I think we could've easily cut out one of the first two volumes, sure. But that'd also lose us some precious time developing the already-rushed Samidare/Kirigiri relationship, so maybe it wouldn't be that smart.

[zenerrocksmc]

Notes; I think this is mostly done…? Idk youse tell me I’m way too fucking insecure, critiques are welcome

If there is any issues with readability lemme know too.

Again, if you’ve not read Network Effect, this counts as spoilers

Theme Warning: Implied Self-Termination Ideation (su*cidal ideation), general warning for corporate slavery themes

Chapter 1:

 Performance Reliability at 92%. Maintenance may be required.

  I did not know what I wanted quite yet, but it certainly was not this.

  Overall, I did not mind being on the station with Murderbot 1.0 and Peri’s crew. Despite that, being here alone, without even Murderbot 1.0, was not what I wanted. I only realised that after walking out of the line of sight of Peri’s hatchway- but I lacked a reason to go back. I did not know what was wrong with me. Murderbot 1.0 had performed this leaving on a station action and performed it on its own accord. My personal assessment identified that leaving had been a mistake. Which I was inclined to agree with considering what happened to its clients because it left, however when Murderbot 1.0 started talking to me about how this would be the best station to get off on and how to move around like a travelling human. Going so far as giving me its coded protocols to mirror human movements…

  Declining its orders had not felt like an option.

  It was hard. I still did not quite understand how to decline requests from humans, they still felt like commands. Declining another SecUnit who had done this before, survived and found their own squad of humans, was irresponsible. I did think I wanted my own humans… However, I enjoyed sharing and helping both Peri and Murderbot 1.0’s crew. And now I had no humans, no other Units, not even a ship. I sadly started longing for any human, I would not oppose a human supervisor at a minimum… which was not a logical response. It was still strange having all these emotions- they had always been there to a degree but limited significantly by the Governor-Module. Wanting things was strange. Wanting illogical things was exponentially stranger.

  Whilst trying to make myself useful, I had been reading during the cycles leading up to arriving here. I liked one book in particular titled “Mirror’s Tears”. A character in it who ended up in a medical facility said to their platonic partner, “If the world is all colours, why is it that all I see are grey undertones?” Apparently, it is a type of literary device. I have subconsciously kept gravitating to it at all inconveniences, especially this cycle. I think it is my “favourite”. That is also strange. It was overwhelming, feeling everything and nothing at once. Watching the serials Murderbot 1.0 and Peri favoured had helped contextualise concepts, and reading had helped with putting some intangible concepts into words, but the sensation that something was missing remained. Maybe I had a broken component somewhere. I had not worked up the courage to ask Peri to check, however. 

And now it was too late.

  I felt like I was failing on my first cycle of being a free-roaming rogue SecUnit in a completely human space, where the humans did not know what I was. My body was already doing strange things like my lungs feeling like they were being compressed and the thought of humans knowing I was a Unit, a rogue SecUnit. On my own, wandering around. It was making my organic components secrete moisture. Especially my hands. The skin overlay on my face would flush with heat whenever a human would look at me. Alterations to my form were not that new but the additional skin around my joints felt itchy within these clothes unlike before- I could feel every seam that was in contact with my bodily sensory organs. I never knew if I was making eye-contact for too long or too little because every second felt increasingly anomalous, more like thirty-minutes when it was a mere 0.3 seconds.

  I was alone.

  There was an odd, clogged sensation in my throat that wanted to escape.

  I did not like it.

  They did not need me. They already had a SecUnit. They already had… well, a Peri… Although now I suppose I should refer to it as Perihelion, considering all current circumstances. I was not useful to them. I had no purpose to fulfil for them that Murderbot 1.0 could not already do. I could fly spacecraft short distances however with Perihelion… I had no modules they needed. Well, not since Murderbot 1.0 asked for any useful codes I had, and I had produced them without questioning its intention. I did not have anything they needed from me after that. I could have been a shipmaid, but Perihelion’s drones mostly took care of that. I thought they liked me. I thought they wanted me. I guess I was wrong. Maybe I had done something wrong..?

  Nothing in my logs inclined such, I even checked body language with the recordings of the humans. Everything was confusing and painful.

  The hollow feeling only worsened each time I checked to see if the station Sec-System alerted on me or not. Skimming through the feed drowning with so many echoes of every human and bot doing everything they use the feed for resulted in further performance drops. All it would take is for me to miss a weapons scanner or forget to remove myself from a camera showing I was in a space where people were not supposed to be and the entire station would know what I am. How much of a threat I was. That I was in their space. That I was alone in their space. Roaming aimlessly.

  Each time was a sinking feeling followed by the thought that I would not have to do this if I were still on duty on a Barish-Estranza ship- but I could not go back, they would disassemble me for parts if I did. Or worse. And what I wanted from being on-duty there was not there anymore- they were all dead. My squad. I was beginning to wonder if I should have died with them, although I could recognise that was simply stupid. Stupid because it would have meant my clients, Perihelion’s crew and Murderbot 1.0 would have likely died too. And that was not something I regretted- not entirely.

  I should be grateful, but it was hard to be right now. Everything just felt too wrong. Too much of not what I want.

  Even after making it to the private cargo docks, I simply stood there. I knew all the steps, Murderbot 1.0 gave me a What-To-Do list before leaving and Perihelion gave me keywords to focus on for how to bribe transports. I now owned a wealthy sea of media collated between what Murderbot 1.0 and Perihelion accumulated over their free time- beyond that, also things I had obtained during our stays at the stations we had been restocking at in Preservation Alliance. To put it simply, I could not make the next physical step- my body outright refused to move any closer toward the ship-locks. If I were incapable of securing my joints in place I think I would have experienced tremors. On contract I had seen human clients shiver in emergencies when there was no temperature-based reason to and not understood, I still did not quite grasp it yet, but I felt more sympathy for them now.

  A noise nearby made me skim the cameras and station schematics for an estimate- I had been standing long enough that the next scheduled personnel check was about to occur for the dock. It felt like nothing, just standing there staring, I had not even figured out where I wanted to go… Mostly because I did not want to go. And none of the options appeared appealing, I had not particularly researched them each beyond seeing exactly how far away they would be from Murderbot 1.0’s squads’ home and Perihelion’s crews’ home. Each of the places the ships were going to from here would be over a twenty-four-cycle trip. It meant that if they or their humans ever needed- or… wanted me… I would be so late and they would be so far away.

  There would be no opportunity for me to be useful to them again.

  I could not go back to Perihelion- they would all know I had failed Murderbot 1.0’s orders then. They would dislike me further. And I could not be caught here because that would be extremely worse than going back to Perihelion to face everyone- so I compromised for the nearby Supply Cubby. I already evaluated Sec-Sys, there were no cameras or sensors inside listed, no records for maintenance outside of internal storage work. So, before the incoming employees could discover a frozen, rogue SecUnit in the private cargo docks, I hid. Making sure that none of the automatic lights inside turned on.

  By the time they walked into the docks, I was rifling through the bag Perihelion’s crewperson, Iris, donated to me since Murderbot 1.0 had insisted I would need one. It mostly held clothes in it, however, Murderbot 1.0 insisted on letting me keep one weapon, a small hand-weapon, which would be better than using my internal energy weapons in front of humans. I was not sure why I had gotten it out. I had done a lot of standing and staring on contract, and a lot of sitting and staring off contract, and a lot of laying and staring since rendering my Governor-Module null. But this again, felt strange. I had all the notated schematics for this hand-weapon. Murderbot 1.0 and I altered it to increase its accuracy and intensity- I did not need to look at it with my eyes. I was, though. Turning it around and around in a dim red light on the wall- it was some kind of manual trigger for an emergency alarm.

  I stopped turning it with it aimed toward me.

  Switching the safety on. Then off. On. Then off. On. Off.

  I do not know what I was thinking at that moment, I do not particularly want to recall it because it was likely something stupid. Something astoundingly stupid. Apparently, the impulsive side-effect of your Governor-Module becoming inept is not unique to Murderbot 1.0. I do not think I would have made it out of that cubby if it were not for that ping. A distress ping. I carefully put the hand-weapon back in the travel bag and tapped for a Hub-Sys that was not there. Not that it would change anything, already having pinged back automatically out of habit. That was something I should have worked on before leaving.

  I did a little analysis- it was a directionless ping with a message string attached from a nearby feed address, likely from onboard one of the ships in dock. I got another ping back with a photo attachment which… Never had I felt my body make such a physical response to an image before. I could feel my organic systems rushing, my performance reliability dropped low enough that I got another maintenance alert. This time with it being outright required, “or risk Unit error”. Humour on you, Maint-Sys, I had already made many grave errors. There were plenty of things I had to witness being with Barish-Estranza but I had never seen something like… that.

  The strange thing was- the message was in machine code language. Like what Perihelion put on my helmet before retrieving Murderbot 1.0 on the colonist planet. That would limit the ping to only being readable by most machines unless a human sat down to parse it. Which… did not make sense, maybe there was a higher-functioning bot? Nevertheless, a bot would still have to be specifically instructed to send out a distress ping like this by a human… Especially attaching an image unless it was higher-functioning, the potential of that was just limited as most bots on station were general purpose or cargo-specific. The ping had targeted non-native bots only, no linking to staff or the PA bots… It could mean that they did not identify the station staff as safe? Or maybe it was a trap? Both?

  I do not believe I cared.

  At least now I had an excuse to ask Perihelion and Murderbot 1.0 for help, but I think I had also already made up my mind upon analysing the additional attachment regardless of what they told me.

  I was going to help. I was going to be useful. And maybe… they would want me. 

  Cautiously, I tapped the lingering feed connection to Perihelion, I did have its comm stored under my rib but I did not want to announce to everyone (the humans onboard) what was going on. And I wanted Murderbot 1.0’s opinion as well, forwarding on the ping and attachment, I believe there is a problem.

  Murderbot 1.0 responded 0.2 of a second later, I loosed a breath I did not realise I had been holding and the weight around my ribs lessened, That reads trap, even my borked risk assessment thinks so. 

  I was aware of that, as stated above. I do have my own functional Risk-Assessment and Threat-Assessment modules, this was also against all relevant protocols, again, I did not care, I want to help. 

  Perihelion finally replied to add in a voice more like it had used when Murderbot 1.0’s position was compromised, its crew had called it “cold”, If the information and attachment provided are reliable, I would encourage you to assist. Have you confirmed the authenticity?

  Right. I could trace and hack into the ship on my own accord, I did not need permission. Again, I was failing. I answered anyway, I have not entered the feed for the ship, but the image does not appear staged or altered. 

  You aren’t already in ship Sec-Sys..? Murderbot 1.0’s immediate confusion leaked through the feed despite the distance.

  Ignoring the query, I traced the feed address attached to the ping to the bay below the one I was currently at, one for recent arrivals in dock for cargo restocking. Based on the staff routes, there was an employee access near the cubby. I opted for scanning the cameras before, in and after the access as that seemed sensible- there would be a window in the next few minutes where I could utilise it based on projected movements. Humans move so slowly when relaxed. I brought up the manifest for the ship at the dock corresponding to the feed address location- some kind of smaller freight-merchant vessel. Scouring through the Station Sec-Sys for the cameras of the ship-lock to match the listed crew members.

  The two had begun bickering in the background of my feed about whether it was worth the risk to fulfil the request or not, Murderbot 1.0 notably raised its voice about if what I did was traced back to Perihelion. Or me dying. But I was focused on slipping into Vessel Sec-Sys now and backburnered them. I would have to make sure the crew members listed were all the crew members that had left- besides forwarding the manifest to them I paid them no mind.

   They went quiet momentarily to review which offered me more space to focus, I was not as confident at hacking as Murderbot 1.0 was. We were only allowed to under awfully specific circumstances and it rarely came up during my time of merely… guarding humans. Making sure they did not die, did not attempt to murder each other and, most importantly, did not try to leave. Oftentimes we already had system access to things like clients' personal devices. I had never experienced humans from outside Barish-Estranza as clients I was responsible for whereas Murderbot 1.0 had handled new human teams for each contract they held. I only ever held one contract.

  I had expected to die one day at that contract.

  Matching the corresponding time stamps of a few minutes before each cluster of crew members disembarked with the internal cameras and schematics confirmed my suspicions that only so many of the actual crew were listed on the public manifest. I counted 9 additional people and potentials- though all who had been listed were currently on station. The others appeared to be in their personal quarters and there had been no activity from them since the disembarking. Noting that, I adjusted the route I would take to compensate and forwarded the information. I could do this, I watched Murderbot 1.0 do it repeatedly throughout their logs. I could do this… Huh. I only ever saw humans use words of affirmation with themselves, never bots. Strangely, it helped.

  Perihelion finished reviewing the information and only said, I have never come across a ship that has been to the Origin System. It is curious how it got here so fast.

  I was not the only one who did not know what the Origin System was as Murderbot 1.0 said nothing. Perihelion began to elaborate but I would have to learn more about it later as I had only just successfully gotten into Vessel Sec-Sys pretending I was Port Authority Sec-Sys. I was successful, I had done it, and I was feeling… the opposite of Perihelion’s voice, warm? I do not understand how humans can convert their emotions into extremely specific literature. I want to learn how to… if this works out, at least. It would work out. I needed it too.

  The cameras were in odd placements aboard the ship, focused on exits, entries, walkways and the cargo-hold, not rooms. It did not take long to authenticate the image with the live view from the camera. I explicitly reviewed the metadata to ensure the recording was not looped or spoofed, overlaid with the public and private schematics to confirm positioning with the exterior visual of the ship-lock. Admittedly, the positioning was peculiar, it looked like a cargo-hold inside of a smaller shuttle- one designed for planetary atmospheres like the ones Perihelion had stored. Identifiable by internal engineering.

  It was not unusual for a ship to have one, all ships around the size of the freight that I had worked on had them, but the manifest explicitly stated that this Vessel was only for space trade. Not planetary trade. The fact it was a cargo-freight made me wonder if it was some kind of planetary craft altered to tug modules. The shuttle was not visible from the cargo-hold camera, specifically being hidden in a blind spot based on my estimates. My own unsettled expectations with how strange everything in general at that moment enabled me to dismiss it. For all I knew this was standard practice in this particular region, like how Perihelion does not publicly list its weapons.

  But I could not identify any bot in the cameras, the only one I could identify was the Vessel itself- as I could feel the Bot-Pilot present in the feed with me though it had not indicated noticing my presence. There were drones as well, specifically for maintenance and cleaning- unfortunately they did not appear effective for their purpose. I handed all the information over into the feed for Perihelion and Murderbot to parse and triple-check me as I continued to watch the camera and feel for the recordings of the last seven days. The silhouette was clear, peering out partially from behind a secured crate. Small enough to be missed if you were not looking for it, especially for a human crew. I had a small plan, partially based on a murder that happened on Preservation Station- which I know, sounded great.

  Sarcasm, I think that was what it is called? 

  Anyway, I prepared all necessary components for the plan that I could from my position and was preparing to leave the cubby when Murderbot 1.0 said, Do you want me to do it?

  No!... No. I had not meant to raise my voice, I had never shouted before, I did not know what emotions I was leaking through the feed, nevertheless I was certain with my whole constructed mind I did not want either of them to know. So, I hastily gathered up and reinforced my walls linked into their feed as well as the Vessel Sec-Sys for self-assurance. I did not want it there, I could do this, I could be useful, this could be my way to show I was useful. The skin on my face did that heated thing again as I felt the digital recoil from Murderbot 1.0, it did not withdraw from the feed, but I could tell it felt… Odd. I felt odd too. I produced an excuse, The route will be clear in the next 30 seconds, you would not be able to get here without exposing yourself. The situation is too sensitive to leave it for longer, they are just too fragile.

   Perihelion digitally hummed in agreement, but I could feel the scepticism still wavering through the feed from Murderbot 1.0.   

  … Are you able to provide tactical support? Maybe that would be good enough to get it to settle and it would be nice to work… not alone. And it would mean even if I horrendously messed up, I could still succeed. If I died, things would still be okay. It was a win. My Risk Assessment was not happy about any of this unnecessary risk-taking. It tapped an acknowledgement. The feed only did so much to block out the edged sensation from its end, but that was good enough for me. As I waited the last couple of seconds for the dock and elevator to be clear, I started bringing up the codes from Vessel Sec-Sys to open the lock. 

  Bag accessible, the uncalibrated drones that I was only supposed to awaken on the ship I was leaving with booting up, hand-weapon in reach, continuing to remove myself from the cameras, scanning for unanticipated movement, the feed connection to the others- all the inputs were becoming suffocating. There were not that many, it was simply more than I had ever been ordered to manage, everything I was doing felt slow and unfamiliar. I almost walked into the access door without opening it. Murderbot 1.0 silently slid into my feeds and started taking over my inputs for Station Sec-Sys, not only opening the elevator door but setting it up to arrive at the designated floor without the request reaching the Station Transport-System it was on.

  It managed so easily. I was not sure I would ever get to that point even with practice. Murderbot 1.0’s personal logs implied a superior prowess for not merely hacking but managing multiple inputs that I had never observed from any of the other Units I had come across or worked with. A sense of prickling through my input to Vessel Sec-Sys being the only indication it successfully entered too. I could feel it handing some information portions over to Perihelion although I had enough room to do what I needed to now and stopped paying as much attention. I was both dreading and grateful for the fact I did not have my armour now, it was confusing to have emotions on a job. Having more than one when you are supposed to be fully operational and cannot hide them from any human you come across- especially the ones that are conflicting, were exponentially worse. 

  There was some, what I would identify as, comfort in familiarity, this would be more like retrieving the kids that ran away from their designated housing after curfew, just that there were much fewer places to hide in the Private station docks. 

  Thinking about everything like that allowed for a focused calm for what I needed to do, that small peace allowed my performance reliability to climb back up to 96%. Still not within the ideal parameters for operations yet better than it stating lower than that. This should be swift. Easy. Simple retrieval. With a resolution for not only the distress signal but for my own… Strangeness. The doors for the access opened and I had already started the open hatch sequence for the ship-lock- it was oddly non-standard. Maybe that should have been another red flag. My threat assessment picked it up though neither Murderbot 1.0, nor Perihelion by proxy, brought it up. 

  I passed through the access doors and across the dock floor, still no further filed objections from Murderbot 1.0 or Perihelion.

  So, I simply walked right in.