#idk if this makes sense lmaooo

[ohitslen]

*Vampirizes your Vashwood*

keep reading for more :)

If there needs to be much closer close-up please let me know!

[foolsocracy]

Whose Jean Paul Valley :•0? ~Canary

hes so wild

This will be the ultra abridged version, but basically he starts off as this com sci grad student and his dad (dressed liked a crusader and bleeding out) barges in to his dorm/shit apartment and is like... GO TO SWITZERLAND!! and dies

anyway in switzerland its revealed that he comes from a long line of guys that have been conditioned and trained to act as/be Azrael for the catholic(?) cult Order of St. Dumas. This whole training-conditioning thing is called The System, and it turns out Jean Paul has already been through that in his childhood and now that the previous Azrael is dead (his dad) it can be activated.

Its sort of like an alternate personality that is incredibly violent and 'righteous' and whatnot. And it turns out he was a test tube baby that got experimented on to give him physical enhancements. All this was repressed tho and he had no clue.

His debut got him involved w/ Batman and he takes up the mantel at one point after Bruce breaks his back. He does an awful job cause hes predisposed to being awful. Im p sure he was made batman in response to readers being like "batman should be dark, work alone, and be so mentally ill". And the writers went oh ill show you mental illness. He stops being batman and stuff but thats who he is at the way beginning. I'm still learning my Azrael/Jean Paul lore so I can't speak too much on it. Take this w a grain of salt

heres a random collection of panels/pages cause theyre fun:

[twistedappletree]

The funniest “Jin Ling damsel in distress moment” is actually in the donghua on dafan mountain when Lan Jingyi kicks Jin Ling into the cave with so much force (infamous Lan Clan hamstrings?) that he just disappears??? I mean logically, he probably just fell on his face then got up and was like “screw this loser” and started exploring the cave for the heck of it but it’s so much funnier to imagine LJY kicking him so hard that he just rolled through the entire cave system for like 5 minutes straight until he crashed into the dancing goddess statue

[harukapologist]

rambling about Haruka

As an ND person I just hate how Haruka's character is either completely infantilized or reduced to a selfish, evil murderer, when, to me, he is so much more than that.

Especially the latter; I hate when any MILGRAM character is called evil because what's the point of MILGRAM, then? They're all morally grey! That's how they test us. But Haruka in particular because I feel like it comes from a place of ableism, intentional or not.

I'm not sure if I should put TWs, but well I talk about ableism, murder (obviously lol), childhood trauma and well... it's Haruka

Haruka's outburst in the VD and his implication of killing animals (I know it's basically canon but erm... i can explain why I think it's an implication later) (i just finished writing the post and actually i explained why at the bottom of the post but its not a full explanation so lol) are the reasons I see people calling him either evil or childlike, and while I do think that Haruka is stuck in a childlike state in some aspects, this is emotional dysregulation of an ND and/or traumatized person, to me.

The uglier sides of being ND/traumatized, the ones that get heavily stigmatized and seen as intentional or evil; I think this was a display of one of them. And I really wish to see more people focusing on Haruka's disability in the ways it can affect his communication and day-to-day life skills more than "oh, poor baby, he has a disability that makes him feel unwanted" without actually understanding the details of the disability and, well, the reason why it is a disability.

Like, the emotional dysregulation that comes with being autistic, which is my headcanon for him. The hyperempathy and literal thinking that might make him harder to communicate with, and get people frustrated with him more often.

That and being severely neglected; I think neglect is one of the lesser discussed forms of childhood trauma and the fact that Haruka was shown to be neglected as well as abuse really means a lot to me, because I think some people don't quite understand just how much neglect and isolation fucks you up.

All those factors combined are a recipe for an unstable, impulsive, clingy shell of a human, and him getting called evil for that really saddens me. It's important to remember that these MVs are extracted from the prisoners' own memories and thoughts. It comes from their perception of their surroundings, their murders, and their own selves. The manic look that Haruka has on his face for a lot of AKAA, for example. The makeshift shirt he's wearing, as if he's desperately trying to sew himself together into a normal person, the exhausted, frustrated look when he picks up the necklace, it's important to remember that this is how he sees himself. A monster who has lost control of himself. The line "I'll keep killing to be your good boy" was a shock, but the way he meekly apologized to Es at the end of his VD, I really think that shows that he feels guilty, that he wants to convince himself more than anyone that he was a good person, that he was really trying to be one despite how his unlucky life frustrated him to his breaking point.

As for his infantilization, it has already been addressed by many thoughtful members of the fandom and I'm grateful to see that, but I also want to say it myself since god knows I hate being patronized.

It feels very ableist saying he's just "someone stuck in a childlike mindset/age regressor" Yes, and how does age regression as a coping mechanism develop? Usually through prior trauma that makes you "stuck" at said age, and that can present differently. It can be longing and yearning for a simpler time, for an actual happy childhood, or having flashbacks to a traumatic event that happened at a certain age; it is not uncommon for trauma survivors to be "frozen" at the age their trauma took place.

I think both of these are the case for Haruka. Frozen at that moment, but trying to reduce himself to nothing but a little, unaware child to avoid reliving it again, relishing in the innocence and purity of his good younger times (emphasis on purity--Haruka's murder was by strangulation, yet there's a shot in AKAA where he's covered in blood. I know it's after he killed the animals, but he's in the stitched-together outfit here; I think there's more to this MV than just killing the animals. Since this outfit is... not very likely to be worn in reality, did the animal killing happen at all? Even if it did, I think this shot remains an indicator that he sees himself as impure; guilty. I have a LOT to say about the inconsistencies in Haruka's MVs, but I'll save that for later... Anyway, back on topic) It is NOT "having the mental capacity of a child, so being unable to date etc." Haruka has still lived 17 years, maybe even more, since he isn't too interested in remembering his age. How do you treat actual neurodivergent people if this is how you see him?

When I rewatch the MVs, relisten to the VDs, reread the interrogations and timelines, I see no evil, just an incredibly broken, misunderstood person.

[b1gwings]

can you draw your choice of the wurst crew in an "intimidating" pose

initially this prompt reminded me of Gunnie. but then I thought about that scene in episode two where they're trying to intimidate that guy and just...absolutely do not.

[faunandfloraas]

Aren't you supposed to bias seungmin? so why do you make gifs of other members

me if it was illegal to make gifs of other members ^^

[crimsonlovebartylus]

I hc the black brothers as chileans, because of the lack of latino representation.

and barty and remus are argentinian for me also, with barty being half italian.

[whiskeyswifty]

.

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

I’m sorry but the best Jon Snow AUs are those where he is some sort of civil servant. I always see people headcannon him as ROTC/soldier or cop but I think they kind of miss the mark. GRRM has steadily been moving away from the traditional warrior archetype with Jon and more into the counts-pebbles ruler type. So the cannon compliant AUs are the ones where he ends up as some sort of government official. Maybe he could be a city hall manager or an ombudsman. He could be a state representative or maybe even a senator. Let me remind people that he’s the only elected leader in the series. AU!Jon Snow would totally be the extremely competent but also extremely depressed congressional representative from like, idk, Alaska.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

something i've been thinking a lot about today is that in the ten years i've been writing, i have an unconscious (and sometimes, very conscious) expectation that the next thing i write will be better than the last, but sometimes it's clear that progress doesn't work that way, and there will be projects that stick more than others, and projects that don't seem as easy, or projects that don't seem as impressive or as interesting, and it's been freeing accepting that!

[sonknuxadow]

im probably gonna have to rearrange my sonic action figure display AGAIN because big werehog doesnt really fit anywhere on the shelf as its set up currently. endless pain and suffering forever

[non-un-topo]

Every time a person misgenders someone and isn't corrected, a little fairy dies in the woods

[mechahero]

🤨 which transformers character were you smushing him against op?

//Call me out, why don't you?

Fiiiiiine

It's this doofus.

[sendmyresignation]

not mcr genre discourse.........

[mothhballl]

i love making the people i love watch my favorite visual media because like, this is the basis of who i am as a person. these characters i quote are what i am at my core, the fundamentals of my personality are a culmination of media i've consumed. i want people to notice motifs and dialogue that i love and repeat and think oh yes!! this is so completely her and it makes so much sense that she has seen this countless times it shows so deeply in the fibers of her being!!! but then i HATE watching other peoples movies because like, you want me to be something else? you want me to be different than i am right now by showing me some new world view and story to process and change me forever? fuck you :((( i can't HANDLE IT!!

[steakout-05]

ok genuine question: does experiencing noticeable back pain that happens often, actively hinders me and usually makes me need to sit down when doing painting, crafting, standing over a table or cleaning my room constitute as a physical disability?

this question might sound a bit silly considering that if i have to sit down in the first place then yeah it probably is disabling me, but a part of me is doubting myself, because i can otherwise function "normally" (don't like using that word but i can't think of another right now) and sometimes the amount of back pain i have fluctuates. sometimes it hurts like a bitch, sometimes it's barely noticeable. another part of me is just generally curious to see what some people think about this topic.