#idk ill be fine i just need some water. ok see you have a lovely day thumbs up

[randygrim]

Drew a spider lily in place of dolls heart

[marirynryn]

Hi uuuuuhhhh can we talk abt how much of a fucker Bosie was??? I'm reading 'De Profundis' of Oscar Wilde (A letter he wrote for Alfred Douglas, aka Bosie, while he was in prision) and it's I'm not even in the half but for now Oscar has recompiled a lot of shitty things that Bosie has done to him in all of the years they've been "friends". Like. Bosie at one point, due to all the extravagances and luxuries he afforded daily WITH THE MONEY OF WILDE got him to bankruptcy. In words of Wilde, "...If I remember you that all the time we were together I didn't never wrote not even a single line-...-Mi life, while you were at my side, was completely sterile and uncreative" : Bosie freaking drained the life and inspiration out of Wilde, and all the times they were together, he couldn't focus on anything but Bosie bc if he did Bosie would get mad. Oscar was tired of getting away from Bosie just to go back to him again, he even tried to convince Bosie's mother to get him out of the country (and his mother agreed with Wilde, confirming that Bosie had the Bitch temper™ of his father), but some time later Bosie begged his mother to know how Wilde was, where he was, and said that he "wanted to see him again, even though it was only once". Oscar even says something like (I won't quote bc I would probably get it bad lol) 'Every three months I would try to break our friendship, and every three months you would convince me again of being close to you, even if I know what danger you mean to me'. LIKE BOSIE LITERALLY ATTEMPTED AGAINST WILDE'S LIFE MORE THAN ONCE WTF there is one part in this letter that narrates a time when Bosie got sick, and after 5 days of Wilde taking care of him in the most endearing way, Wilde falls ill thanks to Bosie, and what did that bitch do? Go to eat at a fancy restaurant with Oscar's money while Wilde was dying in an apartment he rented. My men made Bosie promise to 'at least eat dinner with him', and when he didn't appeared at dinner time, Wilde wrote him a note remembering the promise and goes to try to sleep, but after getting insomnia due to his sickness wakes up and goes to the kitchen for some water, and there it is, Bosie, angry af with Wilde bc of the note, and fcking attackes him verbally like 😭 and not even a day after, Bosie gets into Wilde's room to make up excuses, and when Wilde just says to him to get the fuck out of his room, the bitch with Bitch temper ™ once again tried to hurt him.

I'm open to opinions, I haven't finished the whole letter, but I felt like saying all of this because, of the little things and image I've got to see people have of Oscar's and Bosie's relationship, is really not mentioned all of the crap Bosie made to Oscar, and is more like "hehe Wilde was a gay gay homosexual gay who love Bosie", I mean- It's true- but still, Bosie didn't really showed affection or AT LEAST care for Wilde, and lemme quote this bc this words of Wilde narrating the time when he and Alfred met after Alfred being like three months out of the country: "When I got to Paris, your tears, spilled over and over again throughout the whole evening, that fell on your cheeks like rain while we ate first at Voisin and ate dinner after at Paillard; the unfeigned joy that you showed when you saw me, taking my hand whenever you could, like a sweet and petinent child..." Is SO beautifully sad because this is one of the only times Wilde mentions that kind of affection coming from Bosie, and also days before Bosie's father accused him from sodomy, accusation that got him in prision.

Like yeah I get it Alfred Douglas was fine af but all that crap isn't worth it for just a dick Mr. Wilde, you freaking masochistic.

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OK THANKS FOR HEARING ME OUT I REALLY NEEDED TO GET OUT THAT FROM MY SYSTEM sorry if the English is really broken, it's not my first language, also the quotes are not the ones from the English translation of the letter(? I think idk I'm reading it in my language so I took the quotes and translated them literally.

[tastyykpop]

nct dating headcannons!

I only did 127 because there's so many but ill do the others if anyone requests it :)

ɴᴄᴛ ʙғ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ

Taeil

Mr. Moon Taeil is the definition of a cuddly boyfriend

Hes always holding your hand or kissing your cheek

Definitely gets shy when the members are around but in public youre all his

Hes super sincere about anything too but also knows how to joke around

I mean have you seen him with nct

Hes funny❗❗

Like he's gonna make you laugh no matter what

And those deep convos yall would have at night while cuddling>>>

"What if we were put on earth by aliens as an experiment to see if we would live and everytime we see ufos its just our cousins checking up on us"

Eyes wide open, "bro"

Taeils either the big or small spoon too

There's no in between

Also the biggest baby when yall are chilling

"I call small spoon!"

"But you were the small spoon last night"

"K and what about it"

10/10 would complain if you didn't want to sit with him and watch a movie or show

Would probably guilt trip you by saying you never watch something with him

Hes a sweet manipulator...

But he could easily replace you with one of the members

Like sicheng

Taeil will always ask if you've eaten

If you haven't eaten he gets big sad

Don't make him sad

Plus hes always checking on your health

And he'll know if your lying if you say you're doing fine when you're not

Also don't lie in general cuz he doesn't like that

That would make him trust you a bit less and he definitely wants trust in the relationship

Trust is a huge key or hes out

Johnny

This man 🥲

Boyfriend Material™

So gentle and loving

Loves making you feel special and will hype the shit out of you when you don't feel confident doing something

Will always make sure you're doing okay

Johnny puts in so much effort to make this relationship work and expects you to put the same amount of effort into it too

Like taeil, hes really big on trust

Add honesty to that list

Plus he expects you to be mature when needed

If you're the type of person who depends on someone else for everything and I'm mean everything he will actually leave

Hes not your babysitter❤

But he will take care of you to some extent

Like basic things for instance

He'll make you food if you're sick, get you water if your dehydrated, will get your feminine products when you need it

Very sweet😌

Okay and he spoils you but wbk

"Why are you getting me so much things?"

"Because I love you."

"But why did you get me a kitten costume???"

He has some kinks to work out 😐

Johnny will go to shop after shop even if you say you don't want something (you do but you just don't want him to pay) he'll get it without batting an eye

"Youve been staring at these shoes for 5 minutes imma buy them for you"

"Huh? No! I-"

"Too late"

will take you out to dinner all the time just to be romantic

Hes actually really good at romantic stuff

I say Johnny you say whipped

Johnny👀

Whipped😫

His free time is always you time

So don't bother saying your busy cuz now hes busy with you

"Johnny i got a test coming up can you come later? I need to study

"Thats cute im coming over to help"

Taeyong

Judging taeyong on his looks, some say he would be cold to his girlfriend

Like a tsundere

But the man is quite the opposite

Though he can be stern if need be

He has 22 children what do you expect

Will literally treat you like his members and always taking care of you

But there will be times when you have to take care of him because hes so tired from work

He turns into a baby when he's tired or lazy too

So wrap him in a burrito blanket and hes all set for the day

Makes weird noises but thats normal

You're just watching tv and hes just making some old video game sounds with his mouth

No one questions it

If he didnt make sounds you'd probably question it

Talks in pout if he doesn't get his way with you

"Why don't you wanna play games with me~"

"Bruh I'm tired"

Or just gives you those big puppy eyes without even trying

Complete other person when you're not listening

He just kinda stares at you all intimidating like until you listen

Taeyong won't do anything too bad if you kept ignoring him, but you don't know that

Omg bro he'd literally bring you on vlive with him to chat

Even if the company is like '???Shes not an idol???'

But its taeyong so SM doesn't care🧍‍♂️

"We have special guest again! Its y/n-ah!!"

You'd be just chilling on his bed giving him a wtf look until you realize there's a camera and smile

"Shes cute. Isn't she cute guys?"

Don't try to escape the vlive, he'll just get up and sit you on his lap

Makes everyone watching jelly🥲

Bro he would make fun of you the same way he makes fun of doyoung

you'd be sitting with doyoung or sumn and taeyong just comes up to the both of you and decides

'Its time to end these two'

You and doyoung are just like 'tf did we do'

Somehow some other members are making fun of yall

Of course they aren't mean

Its all fun and games and gives you a good laugh after

Doyoung

Hes literally a mom

But its ok

You love it

Sometimes

He also nags a lot

And if you don't listen he gets mad

You wouldn't tell him this but you find it funny

And cute🤐

"Youre almost as bad as dream" 

"what are u talking about im an angel"

"Kay then put the knife down we kinda need haechan to live"

Hes beaten you with a pillow once

In front of taeyong

Taeyong was watching like 👁👄👁

I dont think he cares much for pda tbh

But he doesn't hate it

He'll hug you a lot

And doyoung will probably kiss you here and there

But thats depending on his mood

If he's tired he'd probably just hold you in his arms

Either way he still makes you smile even with the smallest of touches

When you guys go out in public doyoung always holds your hand

I mean always

Remember when I said he doesn't seem like the type to be into pda

I lied

Doyoung wants everyone to know youre his

He won't kiss you but he will pull you into random hugs and hold your hand like he's gonna lose you any second

Doyoung also can't go anywhere without dressing his best

Like even if he's just practicing he's gotta look cute

And he always does because he's fucking kim doyoung

Doyoung also has a habit to make up names for you

Like one day he'll call you babe/baby

The next day could be angel or princess

Then there's you who just calls him bunny because he hates (loves) it

Expect some random gifts from him

Cuz like Johnny, he likes to spoil you

he just loves the smile thats plastered on your face

Pinches your cheeks evey time you smile too

When you guys are just chilling in the dorms you are always doing something to make doyoung get "angry"

"Angry" doyoung is a fun doyoung

Says you and taeyong 🤭

Literally will chase you around the dorm until he gets you and "scolds you"

Hell also scold taeyong

Sometimes you prank him with the other members

*cough*haechan*cough*

But doyoung knows youre just being playful

So he kinda laughs at you

Yuta

Hes a devil

Wbk

He can go from calling you the cutest lil thang to saying the most inappropriate stuff

"U have such a pretty mouth" 

"no stop" 

"how about u use it on my-"

"OUT DEMON"

Besides that he's actually very nice

Although he doesn't really show his affection like how most couples would

At first hes kinda like a "cold boyfriend" but not?

Gives off a tsundere kinda vibe

He lives for pda

Especially if you initiate it

His favorite is kissing your neck

Not in a sexual way or trying to give you hickeys tho

He just comes over and kisses it

Probably has a neck kink 😳

Same 😌

When you guys are out in public his arm is always around your waist or shoulders

He gets easily jealous when you give anyone any attention

Especially if you have a pet

He will be pouty for God knows how long until you notice

"I'll make it up to you"

"ok then prove it *pats his lap*"

"...I can and will replace you with this animal"

Will not let a dude flirt with you

If he sees a dude flirt with you he just gives them ㄒ卄乇 ㄥㄖㄖҜ

Lowkey hot

But sometimes gives you that look if u aren't listening to him

Its an advantage

Freaks you out tho

When your sitting on the couch minding your own damn business yuta always pulls you onto his lap or sits you between his legs

He really likes to be close to you

So when you guys are sitting he keeps his head on your shoulder and his arms wrapped around you gently rocking you both

Omg im making myself feel single

If you are sad yuta will always be the first person you lean on

Even if its not serious

"Who do I need to fuck up?"

"Im literally just on my period..."

The members sometimes tease him because they'd never seen him so in love

He looks at you like ur his everything

Because you are

He'll tell you that too

If you say something bad about urself he gives you a whole ass lecture about how u should love yourself the way he loves you

He'd be talking for 25 minutes but you stopped listening 30 minutes ago

Literally scolds you for not listening

Loves how well you get along with the members

But also hates how well you get along with specific members because of how similar you are with them

What I'm trying to say is that you are a bit too similar to mark🚶‍♂️

Jaehyun

Frat boy boyfriend

Lowkey wants to fuck everyday

Idk he gives off that vibe

But jaehyuns just chill half the time

Hes like an American boyfriend like bitch you're Korean 👁👄👁

Hes super cuddly and warm

Thats weird wait

Like when you're cold just snuggle into him because body heat <3

Always loosely has his arms around your waist when just laying down

Whole different story if you're sitting on his lap and just standing around

Back hugs😫😫

Dead ass the first thing he does if he sees you is give you a back hug

It works for a lot of things

Surprise? Back hug

You're cooking? Back hug

Horny? Back hug

Solves his life problems basically

Hes a freak omg

Very flirtatious too

Hes just that bitch

Either he makes you blush or roll your eyes

"Y/n you're ass is fat"

Def an ass guy😑

Hes the type of guy to put his hands in your jeans back pocket

Wait no im feeling jaehyun too much rn

BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS

Or when yall hug his hand doesn't rest on your back but your ass

If you're wearing some shorts or something that makes your but pop

Hes gonna smack it and pretend like nothing happened

Yo someone pls save me im in my jae feels

Nah I've been talking about his ass kink for too long

Ummmm

Okay for real though jaes actually really nice and kind of careless when it comes to you

Fuck everyone else, if you've fallen and scraped your knee hes gonna be that soccer mom and rip a band aid out of nowhere

But if one of his members scraped their knee he'd just look the other way and smile like nothing happened

Earlier I said he was chill but hes also loud too

You walk into the dorms and the first thing you hear is "Y/N!!" Wyd?

You swear he doesn't realize how loud he is half the time because of that deep voice

This bitch always makes sure youre healthy and tries to take you to the gym with him

It dont work cuz this bitch just stares at your ass

Nah I need to do the next member

Jungwoo

hes literally the cutest especially around you

When he greets you its basically a whole ass bear hug

Whole lots a kissing

Literally doesn't care where you guys are

He will kiss you anywhere

Loves to kiss your forehead because he doesn't have to bend down as much🤭

doesnt care if the members are there

Nobody ever questions it either

"youre my baby right?"

"jungwoo-"

"riGhT?"

"Yes...."

He does aegyo if he doesn't get his way

It works every time don't lie

Will probably sit on your lap for some reason

Hes not light

But if you can do it so can he

you guys never get into fights

Even if you do its never anything serious

"you fucking pushed me so u could win"

"false I accidentally bumped my arm into urs"

"whats accidental is the murder im going to commit"

"what?"

"What?"

Smh young love

Going shopping with jungwoo is like shopping with a kid

Will beg for any food he lays his eyes on

"Omg can we get cookies?🥺"

"only if your paying"

“*gently places cookie dough back* lmao cookies? Never heard of her"

No matter how tired the boy is he will always find time for you

Hell take you too your favorite restaurants and even if you insist on paying he wont let you

If you don't marry him I will

When you guys are walking in public he will always be holding your hand

Says its because he doesn't want you to get lost

But you know damn well its actually him who doesn't want to get lost😳

Jk you just know he wants to be close to you

If you make any suggestive joke he always knows how to counterpart it

Leaving you speechless like the members

When you guys are going to bed he has his arms wrapped around your waist

first thing jungwoo does before sleeping is giving you a kiss

Doesn't care if your asleep or awake

Then a quiet 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Mark

i dont even know how to explain this relationship bruh

like its mark lee its gonna be a weird time

ok so marks actually hella nice

kinda bro or dude zones you but you do it back

theres a bunch of yo’s too

as someone who says yo a lot im happy i can relate to him

“yo youre doing that wrong though”

“dude im literally reading the directions, it said 3 cups of water”

“bro it says 3/4 oh my god”

yall cant cook 

taeyong wont even allow even you to help him cook

anyway marks special

but seriously marks actually a very gentle person with you

like legit is super nice to you even if you sometimes piss him off

marks probablys only been mad at you once then was like ‘its okay’

go to his practices cuz he loves that shit

he really likes when you are social with the members too

cuz then you guys are all friends and he can just bring you to places with them :D

this kid will literally not to pda in front of any member so you have to basically force him to just hug you

johnnys always making fun of you two and mark panics everytime while youre just like ‘yeah what about it’

compliment mark and hes blushing and squealing like an anime girl

inch resting concept 

“mark you look cute today”

“o-oh um..yeah thanks”

and this man can take compliments but with you its a whole new story

aight lemme get serious

marks mad sensitive 

so dont actually purposely make him mad, jealous, or upset

it would crush him

and he doesnt want someone like that in a relationship

cuz if he doesnt purposely do it to you, dont do it to him

take notes 

Haechan

hes a brat bye

would actually fight you just to get his way

makes fun of you on a regular

thinks hes cute 

hes not wrong

but actually he knows how to act mature when he needs to

like if youre genuinly getting upset with him, he will straighten up and quicky apologize, even give you a phat kiss and hug

might take you to get ice cream after if he really upset you

he can be nice

nah jk hes very nice and is a really energetic boyfriend

haechan always wants to do something with you liek go to the amusement park, go out to eat, or go shopping

sometimes makes everything seem like a hassle to leave and go somewhere with you cuz hes either lazy or playing video games

“cant you just go by yourself?”

“but what if i get lost”

“the ice cream place is literally five miles away”

“actually its seven so im gonna get lost”

hed groan the whole time just to be annoying but you dont care cuz you got your ice cream

if you go to any concert or practice, haechan always has to make things more sexy than they should be

like ‘fool’ became hella sexual and for what

its probably one of his favorites to make you blush

he loves your reactions

keeps him alive

hyucks always got something to say even at the most awful times

youre literally choking on water and he goes “ill give you something to choke on later”

and you have to cancel your dying session to smack his head

my guy has no filter

and he wont even hide that around the members

theres always that smirk on his cute ass face if he succeeds too

i have the sudden urge to fight him

[writing-in-april]

Origins

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary: Reader feels homesick after a particularly gruesome case. Spencer can’t buy a plane ticket, but he can try to help recreate part of home with them.

A/N: hey heyyyy- this is my eighth fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April- I’m very nervous for this one to be honest- idk if it’s going to be a lot of peoples cup of tea- this one had me researching a lot lol since I have no clue about boats at all lol- I hope I did the request at least a bit of justice (sorry in advance if I fuck up any terms or anything) but I think I did pretty well with my research (I think). I originally got the request from @imagining-in-the-margins when she handed it over to me also thanks for some help on the folklore parts too! Here it is-

I always want to hear from you guys so feel free to drop me an ask here- and hopefully y’all enjoy!!

Warnings: ~disclaimer lol I know nothing about boating~ Anyway into the other warnings- Takes place directly after season 3 episode 8 (Lucky with Floyd Feylinn) Spencer gets really fucking sea sick- poor baby, Reader is from overseas (originally Cornwall in the request but I made it a bit more vague) and Reader’s father is a fisherman

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.8k

The air that floated around whenever I was out on the water, salty sea water or fresh salt water always seemed to breath life back into my lungs. The river that we were boating on was quite salty near its widest point, tides brought the saltwater in to mix with the fresh making the water quite brackish.

I was lucky to still live somewhat near water after I had moved over to America. I hadn’t had the luxury of picking exactly where I was going to live and work when I transferred to the FBI, I just happened to draw all the right cards. With my schedule I didn’t go out on the water as much as I used to, definitely not as often as I had as a child. I yearned often to feel the specific type of air people only felt when on the water, especially when my job got particularly gruesome.

Gruesome was a way to define the last case my team and I had been brought in to investigate. My stomach churned at the thought of our last unsub, his name couldn’t leave my mind and the images of his heinous acts certainly didn’t leave either. Floyd Feylinn Ferell had been his name, though I wished I could forever scrub it from my memory. His crimes were too vile that everything seemed to trigger a memory, specifically of the frozen corpses.

The team had even noticed how affected I was by the case, often sending me worrying looks whenever it looked like blood drained from my face over sheer shock- just like the corpses. Cases had been gruesome before, sure, but there was something about this one made me feel frozen by fear.

I needed air, and not just any old air.

Homesickness was another factor that was making me feel so ill. I hadn’t been back to my home in so long, the only time I spoke with my father was over the phone, no video chats at all. He was just as technophobic as Spencer, maybe even more so to be honest. My father’s life as a fisherman hadn’t made him exceptionally tech savvy. He did know how to work a phone now thanks to you, which was another similarity to him and Spencer. I had helped Spencer learn how to work his new smartphone just last week.

Spencer, my lovely boyfriend of a few months, wanted to help quell my dark thoughts as best as he could with all of his knowledge. His first solution was to always revert to books, which I didn’t mind, it only made him more special to me. He tried to find books that would remind me of home- and get my mind off of gruesome cases that were closed and shut cases.

Hotch had then suggested the team take a day off, just one. After weeks of back to back cases with little to no reprieve we’d finally get some time alone, even if it was only for a day. All I needed was one day to get on the water and cleanse myself of the negative thoughts I had been feeling lately.

It was actually Spencer that had first suggested this excursion. He had come to one of our dates with his arms full of pamphlets all about renting a boat for the day. He also had definitely read up about boats, I’d expect nothing less of Spencer. I had learned it was his way of subtly showing affection, researching anything that I even was passively interested in.

Spencer packed even more than I did when we set off on the day long date, packing to the brim at least one too many bags- to be honest he packed two too many bags.

Once we had gotten the boat out into the water, the relief was almost instant. It was like my body knew I was home. I wasn’t actually at home of course, but it somehow knew I was near the water again. Honestly, Spencer hadn’t been far off when he called me a mermaid on one of our first dates, I had gone on a ramble about my love for it.

The water wasn’t nearly as clear as where I had grown up, much more dull in my opinion. But, the breeze that danced across my skin as well as the water made me feel more at home then I had been in a long time. After letting the mist spray onto my cheeks for a while I looked over to check on Spencer, who was not doing well by the looks of it.

Spencer’s face was twisted up in a grimace, not used to being in a boat. Until I had asked him a few weeks ago, to make sure it would be safe to go out on the water with him, I hadn’t even been sure he could swim. I also wasn’t that surprised that he had this reaction, it would have been less of a problem if it was a boat that I had picked out and bought. But, I’d take what I’d get if only to be by the water.

He pretended to hide his urge to dry heave over the side of the small boat that I had rented for the weekend. He looked almost green at this point, I knew he was only staying for my benefit at this point making me a tad bit sad. Water definitely seemed to have the opposite effect on Spencer compared to me, being on the water always felt like instant relaxation to me.

I still, however, didn’t want him to feel any major discomfort like he was obviously feeling so I decided to pipe up since he wouldn’t tell me himself, “Are you sure you’re ok enough to stay, Spencer?”

He pulled his life vest around himself as tight as he could while crossing his arms around his stomach. It took him a second to answer and in that time I almost started to turn the boat around back to the bay.

“I’m fine!” He squeaked out and I could see a shiver run through him. If I had offered to turn the boat around he’d most definitely have given me a glare, not wanting me to turn it around for his own sake. I squinted my eyes in suspicion, he was not completely fine obviously, but if he was insistent on staying maybe I could find something to distract him from it.

“Do you want to hear a sea shanty or do you want me to tell a regular story?” I asked out into the wind, thinking that might distract him from his nausea.

“A story, but you can’t call them regular stories.” He teased back as well as he could with the urge to dry heave, as if he didn’t know what I had meant. I scooted a little closer to him before I prepared myself to tell my story.

Selkies were always the ones I started out with whenever I told the stories I had grown up with. Despite its dark undertones I had latched onto the story as a child, finding it similar to the mainstream perception of what mermaids were. Though I’m reality seals that could transform into humans were a far cry from mainstream ideas of mermaids, a Merrow would have been a better comparison.

I always gave Spencer the origins of the story, he liked to know exactly where they had come from and how I had heard about the story in the first place, “As you know by now the folklore about Selkie’s originates from Scotland. Well- let me think about what I haven’t told you about Selkies before…” I pondered for a moment before remembering an aspect of the Selkies powers I hadn’t educated Spencer on yet. There was no doubt in my mind that he probably had all this information stored away in his brain somewhere, it was nice to know that someone genuinely cared about the stories I liked to tell. “Selkies are immortal, but they can be killed by other creatures. And I know I’ve told you that part, but I haven’t told you that they are generally killed by sharks when they are in seal form.”

I then went into the whole lore surrounding Selkie’s immortality. My hands were waving around animatedly as I talked, just like how the small waves were rocking our boat. They had definitely calmed down by now, hopefully Spencer would feel better soon.

Once I finished my tale I beamed over at him, my mood had brightened significantly over this trip, even though I could sense that Spencer’s had not. Though the story might have helped, he seemed a little less sickly now. He then managed to ask again without puking, “Could you tell another story? Maybe about the Kelpies? Or the Pixies of Cornwall? You can pick anything though really, I love listening to your stories.”

My heart swelled enough from his words that I thought it might burst. I wouldn’t have expected anything less of Spencer, he always hunted for more knowledge about things he was maybe more ignorant about compared to other topics.

I opted to then tell him about the Kelpies, who were also water dwelling creatures, before moving onto the pixies. He even seemed to be getting attached to the same stories that you favored as a child, and even as an adult.

I looked over at him as I finished my last little bit of information that I felt I could muster up today. A smile filled with fondness crept onto my face, his fluffy hair strewn about. It was cute despite his lingering sea sickness.

His face was remarkably less green now, my stories must have soothed him which made me feel heat run to my cheeks. Each time Spencer took interest in my origins I felt deeper feelings bubbling up, that were more than what we had expressed yet. Instead of voicing my full feelings just yet, I leaned forward to give him a chaste kiss on the forehead. He may have not looked green anymore, but I’d wait to give him a kiss on the lips until after we got back to shore, just in case something was to happen.

“Can you sing now?” I knew that he was not requesting me to sing any silly old song. He wanted me to sing the sea shantys that my father had taught me as a child. Not that I minded his request, I’d do anything to make him happier and I loved singing them anyway.

I smiled brightly as I guided the boat back to shore while I sang, already feeling lighter. It had not just been the water this time that made me feel better, it was also because of Spencer. He had taken so much care to help me feel more connected with home, loving to learn about your origins.

Ask Me Anything

—-

Tag lists (message me if you want to be added):

All works: @shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg @takeyourleap-of-faith I’m sorry 😭

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99

Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes @onlyhereforthefanfics @jareauswifey

[leossmoonn]

oops you didn't get the concept? anyways. imagine stefan giving baby annie a bath bc y/n is out w care bc she needs help. And baby annie is a mischievous little rat and stefan can't give a bath lol. so annie splashes water all over him and makes things hard for him and then they play along in the water, the bath being long forgotten lol. and then y/n comes home and sees the mess and is like 😡😐 and stefan is like "sorry🥺😭" and annie is like "mama idk why you mad 😁" and then she splashes water all over y/n lol and then its all cute fluff- 🍓

THIS IS SO CUTE. also don’t apologize its not ur fault lol. IVE MISSED UR CONCEPTS 🍓 <3333

ok yes so this is kinda the first time youre leaving stefan at home alone for more a few hours (bc annie is like kinda a newborn so youve mostly been home w her) you’re like “stefan! i gotta go! you all good?”

and stefan comes in to the foyer carrying annie and is like “yep! you have fun with care”

and you smile and you look between annie and stefan, frowning. “maybe i should stay...?”

and stefan’s like “NO. youve been cooped up in this house for too long. go and see care and be somewhere else for once!”

and youre like “😩 ok fineeee” then you give annie a kiss and stefan one, and stefan and annie wave goodbye at you.

after you leave stefan turns to annie and is like “alright are you hungry? lets get you some food”

and the two hang out for a while and its time to change annie’s diaper, so stefan decides it’d be good to give annie a bath. so he places her in the little tub, like not in an actual tub. there are like baby tubs where you can put inside the actual adult tub to wash a child lol. ANYWAYS

and stefan’s like “okay, the water might be a little warm, so if you dont like it just say so” and he’s speaking as if she can understand 🥺 and so he sets her down in the bathtub and she’s perfectly fine. so stefan then gets a few toys like rubber duckies and some barbie mermaids and he grabs the soap and says “alright, lets get this party started.”

and as he is trying to lather annie up w soap she starts to splash the water, a little bit ending up on stefan’s shirt. and stefan’s like

“a-a-ah, no annie. we sit still when we take baths.”

but annie’s like 🌝 “no 👺” and she starts to make bigger splashes in the water. and she can see how annoyed stefan is getting and she just is giggling bc its all fun and games lol.

“annie! youre getting all my clothes wet!” stefan groans

and annie just giggles and splashes the water and is like “dada!”

and stefan cant help but melt. annie has got him wrapped her finger haha. and so he takes off his shirt and socks, filling up a cup he was going to use to rinse her off and dipping his fingers into it, then flicking the water at her. she giggles and starts to like, smash her hands in the water lmao. and stefan adds bubble bath soap so now the tub is all filled with suds, and so is he hehe. and annie and him go back and forth with splashing water.

“you gotta splash yeah?”

and annie like flicks the water on his face with the barbie mermaid tail. and stefan acts all shocked and fake mad and is like

“omg annie! that was so rude! imma get you back!” and he take a little bit of water, flicking it at her gently.

and the little smile she makes just makes his heart swell up. he loves seeing his little girl happy. even if it means it makes his other girl - you - mad. and speaking of you, you come home finally, tired snd ready to snuggle with you husband and child.

you call out there name, not seeing them downstairs. you then hear the sound of water and laughing and you go upstairs to see who is causing all the ruckus and when you step into the bathroom, your socks get a little wet. and you gaso as you see a bunch of water and soap suds on the floor and youre like

“seriously! stefan! you were supposed to give her a bath, not make a mess,” you groaned

and stefan’s like “omg im so sorry baby. we were just having fun was all. ill clean it up i promise”

while annie literally had a shit-eating grin on her face 💀

you walk towards them and go on your knees, sighing and smiling at him. you love seeing annie and him bond, and that was def more important than the mess they made.

and stefan then says “plus she started it” and points to annie.

and you gasp like “whaaaat? annie! thats not very nice!” and annie just giggles and then splashing water on you

and so you take some water and splash it at her. and stefan joins in, splashing you w water. and you get him back and its just a cute, salvatore family moment <3

stefan concepts masterlist

[hazard-queen]

When he's sick (idia, malleus,leona)

Idia sharoud

• It has been two days since you saw the young male in the game, you have been in-game visting him as usual but he's not there!

"That's weird"

• you thought to yourself before deciding to go visit him in dorm, it's not his usual to not play the game and send you supplies there

• You stood there by the door knocking

"Who's there?"

• You heared a weak voice come from inside the dorm

"It's me ,idia! Can i come in?"

• "N no!!" Said idia from the room collecting his strength but you heard several coughing after this

"That's it! I'm coming in!"

• You opened the door and dashed in seeing idia all mess and looks tired as ever "idia?"

• Idia tried to get up but he was tired , shivering from coldness and all weak "guess i have a fever"

• You placed your hand on his forehead

"Idia you're burning!"

• You rushed to bring cold water and some blankets from your room, you even went to sam's shop to buy soup and some medicine

• You kicked the door open since you're carrying alot of things so there's no hand to knock!, you threw the blankets over idia and tucked him in, you wet the towel with cold water and placed it on idia's head, he shivered from the cold feeling on his head but it's better than the boiling feeling

• You askes ortho to help you making the soup since you didn't know where or how to cook it! (Of course ortho also doesn't know but he just downloaded the recipe!)

• "Open up!" You said as you were holding a spoon full of soup driving it towards idia's mouth, he looked at you then slowly open his mouth accepting the fact you're feeding him

• Cuddles! Where the most thing he needed then tho he kept on worrying that you may get sick too for being so close, but the gloomy boi deserves some love and care :3

Malleus draconia

• Not attending perfect meetings was nothing unusual since they always forget to tell him and realization only hits them at the end of the meeting

• It was a little bit weird that he's missing lessons, you couldn't help worrying about him!

• But when it came to that he's not accompanying you in a walk after lessons end and buy you food was something unusual!

• That's when you decided to pay a visit to diasomania, you stood in front of his door hearing sebek giving lilia lectures about how he shouldn't get too close to malleus! But why??, you knocked the door hearing a "who's that?" From sebek

• "Sebek that's me (y/n) can i come in to see malleus?

• "No! You can't" "oh come on you can!" "Lilia stop being unreasonable!" "You both are too loud can't you see that this bothers malleus?"

• You didn't listen to any of that as you were going to enter any way, you only knocked to seem polite, "did you finish fighting now?!" You spook as you saw malleus sitting on the bed with all red cheeks, nose and ears, his eyes widened as you looked at him worried

• "Malleus what's wrong? Are you ill?" You spoke worried as you reached your hands to take measure of his temperature " oh my god! You're feverish!"

• You kept on giving orders to everyone! "Silver! Bring more blankets, sebek get cold water and a towel and place it on his forehead, lilia help me to Fitch him something to eat!"

• You made soup....with lilia.....(idk i have a bad feeling bout that! XD) you reached your had to feed him but lilia's words stopped you " you know he has two hands right? He's only feverish he's not paralysed!"

• "Well! I will get soon faster if i ate it from your hand " said malleus giving you a heartwarming smile accepting the spoon in his mouth.

• You took care of everything, and evem made some mint tea for him to relax, " do you need anything else honey?" You asked malleus who now seem better than ever with a laugh he shook his head

• "How lucky i am that i got someone like you" you gave malleus the feelings that he never felt before the care that was never given, he's not descend to live lonely anymore.

Leona kingscholer

• Leona isn't the one who attends lessons or even care about them at all and don't even want to care, he can be asleep in his favourite spot or anywhere.

• You looked for him almost everywhere but with no sign of him! "Where could he be?" You thought to yourself till you heard a familiar voice...it's ruggie!

• "Hey ruggie! Do you know where leona is?" You asked as ruggie placed his both hands behind his head then he thought for couple seconds before he spoke again "look! He threatened me to not tell you but i will anyways! He's in his room now!"

• "In his room! Why tho?" You asked ruggie worried , " look i told you where to find him but i can't tell anymore so go find out yourself!" Said ruggie waving his hand as he left you

• You took close steps to his dorm and started knocking

• " Come in!" Expecting to see jack or ruggie but he was surprised by his beloved (y/n) coming into the room, he was there on his bed all tired and he seems to struggle, your approache made him shocked fixing him self sitting on his bed pretending to be all fine

• " hey! What brings you here? Who told you that I'm here by the way?" Asked leona with an angry expression

• "No one! I just noticed you're not anywhere so i got worried! Are you ok?" You asked trying to place your hand on his forehead but his hand prevented you

• "I'm better than ever! Only some headache!" Said leona trying to hide "but ruggie told me that you caught a cold!" You said stating

• "I will make him pay for this! I told him not to tell you a word!"

• "Aha! Got you! Ruggie didn't tell me a word, now you're gonna rest and i will do my best!" You started roaming here and there then you head to your room then you came back with ruggie who was hardly seen from the mountain of blankets he was holding!

• You started preparing light food for him, you took the plate and placed it on a small tray and gave it to Leona, he gave you a "what's next?" Expression that you had no clue what would that mean

• "Feed me!" Said leona crossing his arms , and as he said you took a spoon of the food giving it to leona

• Leona loved how you cared for him, he couldn't help it but smiled

♡okie so it's my first imagine! Hope you like it and feel free to request ♡

[deeeelightfuldee]

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me. 

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up. 

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not. 

How many bedrooms are in your house? four. 

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby. 

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing. 

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric. 

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy. 

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment. 

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times. 

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more. 

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore. 

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know. 

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

[purplesurveys]

1145

What were your favorite things to draw when you were a lil kid?  I knew I wasn’t an artist the moment I started experimenting with pens and markers, and the only image I liked to keep - and was capable of - drawing on repeat was your usual kid’s portrait of a house with a sun and clouds lmao. I never learned how to draw anything else.

Do you think there is something with or around you, like a spirit, angel, ghost or something else? How does this make you feel?  No, never.

Imagine you’re a stranger looking at yourself. What things would immediately catch your eye?  Probably the way I’m scowling at stranger-me staring at me-me.

When did you feel the most confident in your life? Not sure when I’ve felt the most confident, but I typically feel so whenever I get something I’ve been desiring and working hard for, like getting a job offer or being accepted to my dream college or passing a really difficult exam.

Do you think love is needed to have good sex? For some people, no. For me, loving one another is an absolute must. < Yes, hits the nail on the head for me.

Do you think, or want to, die in the city you currently live in? I don’t think it would matter where I die, as long as it’s not from a terrible freak accident.

What is the strangest thing you have ever encountered?  That time I went to Singapore and a sex toy shop was casually blatantly standing in the middle of Orchard Road for families to stroll pass. It’s not objectively strange, of course, but it was definitely a big culture shock. Putting up sex shops in the Philippines is basically a game of who can find the best spot to hide them in.

Favourite soft drink? I never drink soda, so I don’t have a favorite.

What do you like to put gravy on? Fried chicken or steak.

Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking?  Yes, in Palawan.

What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of?  I come from a line of datus from both precolonial and colonial Philippines. The most exciting part about it is that it technically makes me a princess, or at least our local version of princesses haha. I’m also distantly related to one of the three women who sewed the first Philippine flag.

Who depends on you the most? Kimi and Cooper, surely.

Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who?  See two questions above. Coming from my datu ancestors, my relatives also continue to serve in the local government of our family’s province until today. Not that I’m particularly proud of them or show this off whenever I want because they are all very vocal Duterte supporters and regularly engage with him and his family, so *barf*

Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who?  If it ever comes down to it, I’d offer one of mine to my dad, Angela, and either of her parents.

What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? They recognize when they’re wrong and know to acknowledge it and apologize.

What three things do you think of most of each day? Tasks I have to do for work for the day, tasks I have to do for the rest of the week, and financial concerns.

Does/did your high school have pop machines?  No, of course not. Are there schools that are ok with selling soda? :/

Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery?  Not that I know of, but then again these things are shared in secret so there’s always that chance of possibly knowing someone who won the lotto at some point.

Have you ever slept in a water bed? Never slept but I’ve played on one.

How often do you use Flickr?  I haven’t visited that site since I was like 11. Not even sure it still exists.

Who is the last child that you took a photo with?  I think my cousin Toffe, but it was most likely a family photo that the two of us happened to be in. I don’t have a lot of photos with my younger cousins and kids in general.

How often do you wear hats? Never. I always think about getting a bucket hat of my own but I just never go through with it.

Would you ever get a nature tattoo? I never even entertained the thought before. But considering Hayley’s albums and songs have like a million references to flowers, it sounds like a good idea now :)

Is anyone in your family sick at the moment?  My paternal great-grandma was recently confined in a hospital but she’s been discharged. I have a grand-aunt who suffered a mild stroke a couple of weeks ago and is currently recovering.

Where do your siblings work, if anywhere? They are both still studying. If I had to guess, my sister would probably end up in the film, media, or advertising industry, if not a freelance artist.

Where is your favorite place to buy groceries?  If I had the money for it I’d get my groceries at Marketplace, but I’m content with getting ours from SM or Robinsons for now.

Who do you generally talk to the most? Probably my immediate family and my team at work.

Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname?  Not anymore. I use nicknames on my friends more frequently on Facebook Messenger.

Whose birthday is coming up?  One of my cousins’ birthday is on March 31.

Have you ever ordered from an informercial? No, never.

When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin?  Around a month ago when I was embroidering. I usually accidentally prick myself from time to time.

Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success?  Nah, not really my idea of fun. I’m a little weak at problem/riddle-solving :(

How many followers do you have on Instagram? I literally never use my Instagram except to lurk and look for influencers to potentially tap for work. The account was initially my one-photo-a-day-in-2020 dump, but I stopped in April last year and now we’re in 2021 it doesn’t even serve a purpose anymore lmao. But for some reason Bea asked for my account and still followed me (and is the only person following me), which I’m sure she already regrets.

What’s the most recent music video you watched? Thoughts?  Continued the next day. Jessi’s What Type of X. Killed it as always.

Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? Never.

What makeup products are your go-tos?  None.

Are you going to school this year?  No, not anymore. I did that for the very last time in 2020, and I don’t see the point in going back for an MA because I feel like I’m already covered.

What is your favorite water activity? I’ve only ever tried kayaking, but that was a very pleasant memory.

What are your favorite video games? I’m not a super passionate video game fan who’s always up-to-date, but I do have a soft spot for games I bonded on with my family when I was a kid, like Grand Theft Auto (very inappropriate for a kid to be playing, I know lol), Silent Hill, Resident Evil, Mario Kart, and Smash Bros.

Do you like jello? I never got over the texture, so no.

When was the last time you gave someone "the finger?" Not sure when exactly but it happened recently, maybe a week or two ago. I suddenly thought about my ex and flung both fingers around just for myself lol.

Have you ever held a snake?  Yes, I got the chance to hold and take a photo with one on my trip to Bali. I was the only willing one in the family.

Most unique place you’ve ever been to?  Baker’s Hill in Palawan is what I would imagine seeing if I ever took drugs and had a trip of some sort. Most random place ever.

If you were a superhero, what color would your cape be?  Continued from...I don’t even know anymore. Just know it’s been nearly a week since I first started this, lmao. Idk maybe gold.

Have you ever slept out on your porch all night?  We don’t have a porch. We do have a rooftop and I’ve fallen asleep there a couple of times. I only do so when the climate is cold, though.

Do you like horror movies?  Sure, but I haven’t watched any in years. Just have never been in the mood for it for a long while now.

What’s your favorite Coke product?  Blech, I hate soda.

Watergun or water-balloon war?  Water gun. I’ve never been hit by a water balloon but I imagine it hurts?? so I wouldn’t want to experience it if I never had to.

Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators?  I know my sister and grandma are claustrophobic but they’re not ~deathly~ afraid of elevators.

Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex?  I don’t think any of my guy friends have lent me stuff that I got to take home, so no.

Who’s your favorite Beatle?  I was never a fan. I remember pretending to be, back when liking The Beatles made you look all cool and hippy and trendy... but I honest to god just couldn’t get into their music.

Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go?  Yeah just once, super super way back when I was still thought remaining friends with her was the way to go. It was fine, I didn’t message anything horrific and we were both chill about it the next morning.

Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend?  I don’t have a partner anymore but yeah, I used to. I think? Maybe? I barely remember anymore. I definitely did have to tilt my head up quite a bit, though.

Have you ever been tackle-hugged? I can’t remember if I’ve received one. I’m usually the one who gives them.

Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before?  I don’t think I’ve been in this situation before.

Is your mood or the overall tone of your day often affected by the dreams you had the night before?  Just for like the first half hour of waking up, especially if it was a nightmare or a triggering dream. The more I wake up the more the dream fades away, and the sillier it feels that I was affected by it.

Do you think that there are any positive aspects or outcomes of suffering from a mental illness? If you have a mental illness, do you think it has changed you for the better in any way?  No. Sugarcoating mental illness doesn’t sit well with me at all. I know I’ve learned to be gentle and understanding towards other people because of the emotional abuse I’ve received in my own relationships, and I absolutely hate that it’s because of mental illness. I shouldn’t have had to learn to be kind because I was treated shittily first.

What is your opinion on celebrity culture and celebrity worship? Have you ever been guilty of putting a celebrity on a pedestal? Do you think it’s somehow more acceptable/understandable to obsess over certain types of celebrities (musicians over YouTubers, say) than others? At what point do you think an obsession like that crosses the line?  I sometimes think it’s silly when fandoms fight and defend their favorites as if they know them personally, but I’m heavily into my fair share of celebrities and I honestly don’t see anything wrong with it. As long as you’re not hurting anyone or doing anything stupid like stalking your favorites, you do you.

If you were to pursue a career in photography and had the opportunity and means to photograph whatever you wanted, what would most like to photograph?  People.

Is there a certain type of clothing (outerwear, activewear, loungewear, etc.) that you enjoy shopping for more than others?  Cute tops.

Are you ever afraid to post your ideas, artwork, photography, etc. online for fear that they will get stolen or not credited?  No, because I am not even creative in the first place and can’t make any form of art to save my life.

When is the last time you did something sexual? Last night.

Who is the last person you showered with, if anyone?  My ex but that would’ve been ages ago. It was super rare that we absolutely had to shower together.

What do you think when you see roadkill on the side of the road?  Sad and kinda disgusted if the guts are out, but also relieved that they don’t have to suffer in pain anymore.

Have you ever had an ex that just didn’t understand that it was over?  Yeah, me. Luckily I came to my senses a few months ago and have felt better and been better ever since.

Are your fingernails currently short or long?  They’re unequal lengths because I’ve been either biting or picking at them over the last few weeks, but for the most part they are long enough to need to be clipped.

Would you rather have big or small dogs?  Big.

What is your favorite sports drink? I don’t drink any of them, so none.

What was the last compliment you gave a guy?  I told my dad the dinner he made tasted excellent.

Does your jaw ever crack, pop, or lock?  I don’t think my jaw has ever made a sound before, hahaha.

Have you ever thought of how you would give your kids “the talk”?  No, but I think it’s also relevant to note that I live in a very conservative country where sexual intercourse is never discussed, especially within families; and that it’s virtually unheard of to hear of people until my generation to have been given the talk. I had to find out all by myself, and I remember being very confused when we were being taught the reproductive system in fifth grade because they only taught about the organs and their functions, and never anything deeper than that.

Luckily the last conservative generation was Gen X, and younger generations have been a lot more open-minded. And if I had to guess, I’m fairly certain Millennial parents would be more willing to give their kids the talk.

Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something?  I mean, my 20s, thanks to Covid.

Do you ever write/draw on windows that are fogged up?  Yes.

If you were married, and your spouse’s parents became ill, would you let them move into your home? Of course.

Have you screamed in a pillow before?  Probably.

What do you like more, acoustic or electric?  Electric.

Did you actually have a cookie jar?  No.

What’s worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointment is more gut-wrenching. I feel more hopeless and helpless when someone feels that way about me.

What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails?  Definitely my nails. Lip-biting isn’t a habit of mine and I only ever bite my tongue accidentally.

Do you think that knowing when and how you’re going to die would ruin your life?  No. I would find that comforting, actually.

Do you have a favorite bromance? From TV or a movie.  J-Man and Channy’s from Friends.

Do you find flea markets and thrift stores enjoyable?  Sure.

What color is your wallet?  Pink, but I def have to buy a new one soon as I’m still using the one my ex gave me...

Have you ever been somebody's photography subject? No, and I would hate to be. I don’t like being in front of the camera.

Nicki Minaj fan?  I like a lot of songs by her but I’m by no means a fan.

Have you ever seen the Niagara Falls?  Nope but I would love to.

[kirishwima]

i just finished V's after ending (rip to my saved up hourglasses) and..hmm...hm...i have some Thoughts im gonna rant real quick before i forget bc i have the memory of a goldfish so if u wanna see my mad man's ramblings go ahead i guess, im on mobile so i cant add a read more right now orz

I got the forgive ending and...first up, i don't like the fact that there's a 'forgive' or 'judge' option. It feels so black and white and plays with one thing I hate-the use of mental illness as either an excuse or shield.

Rika is mentally ill. She has done unspeakable actions prompted by the delusions of her mental illness, further triggered by the enviroment she was in and the absoloute lack of help she received (look i love V he's my boo but...no, love cant solve anything. it can help sure but with mental illness especially delusional types like the one Rika suffers from requires pharmacotherapy and combined psychotherapy)

Rika has done bad things and is mentally ill-her mental illness EXPLAINS why she did what she did but does NOT excuse it. I'm fairly certain that if every person suffering from a psychiatric illness started a cult there'd be...well millions of cults. So yes, she can be 'forgiven' since she was likely unware of her actions (im not gonna get into the whole depiction of her mental illness here bc oof but let me just say-with my best guess being she suffers from delusional type of schizophrenia, her leaving and travelling around on her own without any support and suddenly, magically being ok is??!!!! so unrealistic???)

What she needs is help, proper support and YES, she needs to be held accountable for her actions especially once she's stable enough to recognise her wrong doings-which no, one does not just recognise through a magical dream of talking with god-they recognise through sessions of therapy with a trained medical professional to help them through it and with medication that can stabilise the dopamine levels in their brain.

And V travelling around for two years, that's fine and all but...there's some gaps?? like how did he go to Saeran and get him out after people went to mint eye and found out there was an explosion?? like...did no one see the one single still-standing room in the rubble??? im?? and what were they doing for two years??

and again-HERBS CAN'T CURE A DRUG WITHDRAWAL ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN ITS A COCKTAIL OF DRUGS LIKE WHAT SAERAN HAD BEEN TAKING THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT CAN GO WRONG WHATS NEEDED IS PROPER HOSPITALISATION OFTEN WEEKS LONG TO MONITOR FOR SAID SIDE EFFECTS THAT CAN OFTEN BE LETHAL!

medical stuff aside bc i know thats just my own nit-picking: i did love Saeyoung's story although again, there's no explanation of...how Jumin's company survived bc lbr, would Rika's words be deemed more credible than a renounced politicians? With zero proof? And also what the everlasting heck happened to Vanderwood like?? We hear nothing from them after that one scene with Sae is Vanderwood ok??? Cheritz pls tell me our fav maid is safe and sound

also credit where its due-Saeyoung's despair over Saeran h u r t i legit cried, and i cried some more when the two reunited id been waiting for that and it made my heart Big Happy :')

I haven't played the judge ending and i dont think i will until after exams so i dont know if some of my questions are answered there but..jmmm

this last bit is just my own personal thing bc i never really liked the 'and they got married had kids and lived happily ever after' idea lol but this forgive ending felt....kinda bland tbh. I do adore V as a dad he's so cute im 🥺🥺 but i just...expected something different? idk what lol

anyway thats my midnight rambling on mysme for today-and please do let me state that i am in no wat bashing cheritz or the game, i adore mystic messenger and the wonderful characters we've all come to love, these are just my own personal thoughts on this route and are mainly influenced by the fact that im studying psychiatry right now lol. The only thing I do want to state is: for a solid 99% of the time, mental illness does not look like what is depicted through Rika. There's no magic realisation and suddenly everything is fine again. Like any somatic illness it's a struggle and requires treatment and professional help, and while of course recovery is possible, it requires effort and understanding. I'm mainly stating this again because it's completely understandable that some people may not know/think of this-that's why I just want to end with this so anyone playing through the game doesn't take it as fact of what mental illness recovery is like.

Anyway that's all lol ill add a read more once im on the pc if you read this far uhh im sending u an imminent hug also remember to drink water and take ur meds if u take any xoxo

[blookmallow]

playing rusty lake Roots... theres so much going on 

i wrote this post at like 2 AM last night so its kind of incoherent lmao

ok so now im following the family history of... maybe the founders of the rusty lake hotel? someone who is Involved Somehow. some weird shit is going on and im really into it but not quite following yet 

oH god theres a dead guy in the clock. ok 

i spent like 10 minutes solving puzzles in this room with that dude in there the whole time and i had no idea OK SURE 

then i had to burrow into his chest to steal his heart, as you do. sorry sir apparently i need it for some reason but it doesnt look like you’re using it anymore anyway 

very romantic

the absolutely batshit solutions to some of these are so good like. “she likes him! he likes her! help them communicate” “ok i will... give her a rose” “she likes the rose! oh she pricked herself and is bleeding everywhere now” “i... use her blood. for ink. with the feather i got from a raven earlier. so he can write her a love note. with her blood” “great job! they’re engaged now” “i see” 

and you’ll NEVER GUESS where i found a ring for her 

god damn it its you again

why is this disembodied hand following me everywhere i go... i didnt kill it this time it was already dead but like, Why 

oh fuck its the dudes!!!! from the hotel!!!! its the guys!!!! 

i can also see them in the hotel across the lake despite everyone else being humans this time and it feels like this should be Before the events of the, uh. dinner party. but it might be shadows of the future to come or something, there’s a lot of ominous Fate and something to do with memories happening here 

oh. that’s why i needed the heart. i see 

im collecting sacrifices for some kind of revival i think, im betting this is gonna end up being how mr. owl happened somehow 

oH god that’s. ok. fuckign christ 

thats not. how any of this works but sure ok that happened 

really not a fan of the fact that the solution to “how do i get the key from the dog” ended up being “feed it the woman’s fucking placenta after she gives birth” lmao ok

i do like when the solutions are like. unexpectedly horrifying, though. that moment of “wait. no. no. oh god. thats it isnt it” 

also the woman would only give me one bottle of milk (there’s three babies) so i had to fill another one with wine and another with water. i feel like this is a bad method of caring for your triplets but what do i kno 

i know this all isnt really meant to be taken literally tho i think... everything happening here is highly symbolic but im not sure exactly how

the milk goes to samuel, who seems the most normal/put together child, maybe the one who was treated the best/the most privileged one/the one closest to the mother 

the wine goes to albert who ends up being the most fucked up one so maybe thats a sign he was abused/maybe one or both parents had an alcohol problem they took out on him the most 

im not sure what the water would mean though, that one goes to emma and shes a botanist so, water for the flowers, i guess, she later commits suicide but i dont know why yet (or maybe it might not be explained at all) maybe it’s a. wasting away/neglected thing? 

hm.

im missing a shot i thought i had here but you’re in an alchemy lab trying to make this elixir and the alchemist won’t take it, and the only other thing in the room is.... the dog 

so i was just like :( im gonna kill the dog arent i 

but then 

the dog drank the elixir and was fine so the alchemist tried it and immediately died, so apparently it’s a 50/50 chance of either reaction and not “it works or it doesn’t” all around and now we have an immortal dog :’  ) 

either that or it just doesn’t affect dogs. time will tell i suppose

anyway this is how albert turned out and i would do anything for him LOOK at this baby boy 

he wanted a butterfly so i solved a bunch of very strange puzzles to obtain one for him 

fuCKing hell 

albert you’re not gonna believe this look what i found

FUCK yeah you look great 

i brought him the butterfly and he immediately stabbed it to death but really im more concerned with the fact that it’s BLEEDING RED 

look at him go

i carved a pumpkin mask for him and he loves it 

i hope albert knows i would die for him 

ok anyway uhh its 2 AM as of when im writing this so i should stop but im trying to work out thoughts on what the fuck is going on here so far 

ok so

james married mary and they had three kids

james might have murdered his uncle or something im still not sure why there was a dead guy in the clock at the beginning 

somethin sure happened there

james became fascinated with alchemy and eventually died trying to create an elixir of life. something or someone is trying to do some kind of weird revival ritual with body parts. i highly suspect that might be where mr. owl comes from

its not totally clear what’s going on with albert, he had a mark on his head when he was a baby but im not sure if his face is like that just bc birth mark or if the wasp incident made it worse or something, i feel like it wasnt as visible in the childhood scene but i dont remember now 

he wanted the butterfly when he was a kid too but it wasnt clear if he liked it or wanted to kill it then too. not sure if the wasp incident Changed Him/was the start of lifelong rivalry with samuel, or if albert’s just mentally ill and that was just One More Incident with his siblings bullying him, or maybe a combination of both

emma grows up to be a botanist but commits suicide for reasons unknown

there was a really weird disjointed flashback on emma’s side of the tree where albert kind of inadvertently dumped a kid into a well (he was... spinning the crank thing mayb stimming or something, the player makes the swing go too far to make the kid land there in the first place so idk if thats just The Hand Of Fate or what, but albert didnt technically do it he just was the reason he lost grip on the. thing where the rope goes/he didnt help the kid) (but again he’s. not mentally well, i think it was ‘he didnt understand what was going on’ more than ‘he committed a possible murder’) so idk if maybe that was emma’s kid?? she also may have been impregnated by plants. dont know what the fuck that was about either 

samuel marries a fortune teller named ida (and has more kids i think. i wasnt paying close enough attention to the photo on the wall) who albert also loves but she seems to think of him as the devil and has visions about him i think

it looks like albert loses it and puts some kind of curse on samuel possibly black magic/voodoo/something which MAY have turned him into mr. crow, which, fucked up if true 

but im hesitant to accept “albert’s just Fucked Up And Evil” bc... the wine bottle seems to imply he was not treated well as a baby/possibly abused, samuel knocked a wasp nest onto his head which isn’t massively outside the realm of like. sibling rivalry stuff (my brother once smacked me in the head with a snowglobe so hard i had to be rushed to the doctor when he was rly little/i was younger and we’re Completely Fine now lmao) but maybe fucked him up worse than they realized 

and the whole thing with ida, too. theres no detail given but it definitely seems like samuel is the favorite child and albert is the “we don’t talk about that one” child so its like. years of abuse/unequal treatment/etc and we dont necessarily know how samuel’s treated him all these years or if there could’ve been more/worse things going on 

i dont know!! i like him and i want him to get help and not just be condemned as the family demon just bc he spooky 

[nancywheelxr]

Ok OK now I am ready. This isn’t very specific but if you could find a way for Crowley to have his wings be injured and Zira help him, that would be rad!! (Haha) Maybe you could do a double whump and he gets ill (idk how i already did a holy object prompt but it will be different I’m sure!) and that’s how he hurts his wings. His wings are just so pretty!! So we must DESTROY THEM... right??

Okay, oh my god, I already had a prompt exactly like this about Crowley’s wings so I’m answering them both here, but the illness bit didn’t really work in this story so like, if you want, you can send me another prompt later!

And @umbrella-babies​ here it is!

*

The day had begun perfectly sensible, not too bright and not too dim, just the exact thing you expect from your English summer; a sure sign Adam has got the hang of this Antichrist thing.

Which is why, perhaps, Aziraphale should have known it could only go downhill from there. It’s just how these things go. But alas, he did not and therefore did not pick up on the vague sense of impending doom that loomed by the door when the knocking began.

“Oh, Crowley,” he gasps once the demon comes into view in the sidewalk outside. He’s soaking wet from head to toe, hair plastered to his forehead, and his wings– oh, his wings! They’re torn in some places, a few primaries hanging loose, and his left wing is definitely bent awkwardly. “What have you done?”

“Don’t want to talk about it,” Crowley scowls, wiping pitifully the cracked lenses of his glasses. “Didn’t even mean to come here, was trying for my flat, really, but it’s impossible to see in these blasted things,” he takes off his sunglasses angrily, but still tucks them safely in the inside pocket of his ruined jacket.

Well, that explains nothing.

“My dear boy,” Aziraphale begins carefully, sensing Crowley is in a spiky mood and could very well stomp away, bloody wings and all, but finds he doesn’t quite know what to say and trails off awkwardly.

Mercifully, Crowley beats him to it. “Although now that I’m here,” he looks down at himself, turning his nose at the sight, and glances back at Aziraphale, yellow eyes almost bashful. “Would you mind, erm,” he gestures vaguely at his dripping clothes.

“Oh, oh, of course,” Aziraphale hurries out. Truth be told, he had been itching to take a closer look at the damage, see if he can soothe the inevitable pain there, and receiving permission to fuss comes as a blessed relief.

First, he miracles the water away, drying up Crowley in the afternoon sun before the demon caught a cold. Then, he prepares himself to assess the wings, grimacing already at the poor estate they’re in.

“Do come in, dear,” he ushers Crowley in now that he isn’t dripping wet anymore and is no longer a threat to his books, but the demon digs in his heels, spluttering adamant noises about not needing to be coddled.

Absolutely nonsense if you ask Aziraphale.

“If you’re quite done,” he sniffs after Crowley finished talking himself into circles, “the tea is getting cold.”

Crowley huffs.

“Fine. Have it your way, angel,” he glares, then adds haughtily, “but I reserve the right to complain the whole time.”

*

They end up settling on Crowley staying in the small room upstairs since Aziraphale hardly ever indulges in sleeping anyway.

And if it should have been dusty and moldy after not being used in several decades, well, it had never occurred to either of them that that should be the case, so the room had the good sense of adjusting itself.

Crowley’s wings were in quite a state, too, but it shouldn’t take too long to heal, about a week or so if he doesn’t move them much, Aziraphale would say.

While Crowley halfheartedly suggests miracling them better, they both know this kind of things are best left to their own devices, nothing good comes of rushing the ethereal– or, erm, the occult, in this case1.

So now, Aziraphale does his best to clean up the mud and torn feathers, and set the bone right, Crowley standing stock still under his hand and shivering every minute or so.

It must be a bit cold without a shirt on, the shop is a bit drafty, he has to admit.

*

“Crowley,” he says the next day while watching the telly he had set up on the counter of his shop to remind his customers they’d be better off leaving the books be.

“Yes, angel?” comes the silky reply from the backroom.

“The news is reporting a rather interesting story,” he says mildly, “it seems a gentleman was caught wrestling the ducks at St. James yesterday.”

Silence reigns for a minute.

Then, “humans lie, you shouldn’t believe everything you see on TV, you know.”

“Oh, do they now,” Aziraphale smiles amusedly. He can just see the pout Crowley is undoubtedly sporting right now. Still, “but the ducks, really?���

A pause.

“Yes, well, maybe the ducks were being bloody bastards.”

“Of course, dear, I’m sure the ducks had it coming,” he laughs quietly, turning up the volume just a notch, just to be sure it’s heard in the backroom.

*

The strange thing out of all this isn’t having Crowley over but how normal it feels to have Crowley over. It’s alarmingly easy to accommodate him into Aziraphale’s routine and the sight of the demon lounging in sunlit places of the shop is alarmingly endearing. He rather looks like a cat, stretched on the loveseat or curled up in corners, and Aziraphale feels something warm perking up inside his chest every time he catches sight of him.

It’s also quite easy to bid him good night after late night drinks and watch him bound upstairs, a bit unsteadily and giggling all the way, and it’s even easier to huff a laughter at his mussed hair in the morning.

It’s considerably less easy not to follow him up to the bedroom, but Aziraphale is very good at not thinking about things like this. And it’s not as if they’re new, anyway.

That being said, this doesn’t mean Crowley isn’t making good on his word– while he’s not doing anything so obvious as complaining, he’s set on making Aziraphale kick him out.

He whines about the tea and he whines about the coffee, and he whines about having to walk all the way back to the park to pick up the Bentley he left behind2.

But most of all, Aziraphale is dead sure that Crowley is attracting people into the bookshop.

Ever since the demon had taken up residence upstairs, at least three or two people can be found in the shop every hour or so. It’s the most customers it’s seen on the regular ever since being opened and before the invention of ebooks, and it’s understandably very confused and upset. Aziraphale is climbing up the walls to shoo them all out and discouraging them from purchasing anything of true value3.

It makes no harm, but it’s driving Aziraphale mad.

Enough is enough, he thinks, as he steels himself to confront Crowley in the backroom. It should not make him this nervous, it’s just Crowley after all, but Aziraphale has never been terribly good at saying no to the demon. It’s almost impossible, in fact, what with those wide golden eyes staring up at you. Impossible, he swears.

“Crowley,” he says, firmly, and pats himself in the back for his assertiveness, “you must stop this nonsense at once.”

The bell rings at the front.

“I haven’t the faintest idea of what you’re talking about, angel,” Crowley drawls. On his lap, today’s paper is open in the crosswords, halfway done.

“Hello?” a voice calls from the front.

“That is what I’m talking about,” Aziraphale huffs, gesturing the door separating them from the irritating customer in the other room. He gives him a pointed look. “You know very well what you’re doing. It won’t work, anyhow, so there’s no need to keep on with it.”

“Still haven’t the foggiest, sorry.”

“Hullo? Anyone here?”

“It sounds like you got a customer, angel,” Crowley smirks and his amusement is visible even through the sunglasses. It’s written all over him, really. “You should see to that, it won’t do to lose business now, not in this economy.”

“Are you serious– oh for the love of–,” he bustles to the front of the shop, zeroing on the lady by the counter and shooing her right off. “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but we’re closed right now. You’ll have to come back at some other time, or not, that’s up to you, but I must insist that you leave.”

The lady seems quite annoyed at that and not very likely to come back at all, and Aziraphale flips the sign in the front to make it extremely clear they will not be opening today. The door locks, a deadbolt that had not been there before sliding shut.

“There,” he says once he’s back, crossing his arms over his chest to indicate he’s not, he’s not… playing around. “That’s taken care of. I understand it must be quite boring to stay here all this time, but is this really necessary, dear boy?”

Crowley raises an eyebrow. “If you’re implying I’m somehow using a miracle or two to tempt people into coming in,” he leans forward on his seat, lips curling into a sharp grin, “then I’d have to say it would be impossible. I am, after all, terribly injured. Unless, of course, you were to agree that twisting a wing or two the wrong way is not so serious as you make it to be.”

Aziraphale narrows his eyes. “That’s all right,” he smiles serenely, “if you say so. But since your corporation is in fine shape, you’ll have no problem in showing the next customers around the shop, then.”

“Now, wait a second there, Aziraphale–”

The influx of customers dwindles drastically after that.

*

“After all,” Aziraphale says by the end of the week, after checking over the now nearly healed injuries on Crowley’s wings. The feathers are soft to the touch again and the bone seems to be well on its way to fully healed. A small part of him, the one he takes great care not to notice too much, already grieves the loss of not having the demon around as much. “What were you doing in the park?”

Crowley ducks his head, buttoning his shirt back on with not so steady fingers, and pointedly not looks at him. “It’s none of your business,” he sighs, “but if you must know, I was meeting an antique’s dealer.”

“An antique’s dealer,” Aziraphale repeats disbelieving. A bottle of a very good red wine appears in his liquor cabinet and he pours them both healthy doses. “You’re thinking of acquiring any more priceless pieces of art?”

He’s thinking of the Mona Lisa sketch in Crowley’s apartment, yes. Crowley gives him a look through his sunglasses the says oh, get off it, enough about the Da Vinci. Aziraphale sips his wine and pretends he didn’t see it. “No, not exactly,” Crowley continues, primly reaching for his suit jacket and bringing out a black box that should not have fit there from the breast pocket. “I was buying this old thing off his hands.”

Curious despite himself, Aziraphale makes for the box, hesitating until Crowley nods his permission. Then, he opens it carefully, half afraid of what might be inside, Heaven knows what could have moved Crowley into sniffing around the antiques black market after all.

A pocket watch.

The answer is a golden, shiny pocket watch that Aziraphale knows will have his name engraved in the back and whose seconds hand always runs just a bit too fast.

He knows this because it’s the pocket watch he lost somewhere in Switzerland around the late 19th century. He had mourned its loss all throughout the 20th century and certainly moaned about it to the demon many times.

“Is this,” he murmurs, gently pulling it out of the box, lets the chain pool on his open hand. “Oh, Crowley.”

“Don’t say anything,” Crowley warns, glumly retreating as far in the couch as possible, as if distancing himself from it. “It’s only so you’ll stop whining about it. It was starting to get on my nerves, is all.”

“Of course it is, my dear,” Aziraphale says with a knowing smile. It won’t do to push Crowley on this, they’ve played this tune a few times over the year and it always sounds best when he lets the demon keep up the selfish appearances. Still, he knows the tenderness, the gratitude, and all this warm, light love must be glowing through his eyes. “Is this what you were wrestling with the ducks for?”

“Yes, the bastards nicked it from my hand when I was distracted,” he scowls again, shoulders easing a little and tension seeping from his edges. “Figured it wouldn’t take much to get it back, but turns out they’re bloodthirsty gits. Below should consider replacing a few hellhounds with them, I’ll say.”

Aziraphale hums distractedly in agreement. Crowley can talk all he wants, go into another one of his rants, and think he’s fooling everyone but the watch doesn’t lie. It’s like back in Tadfield, something is loved enough and it leaves footprints behind. This is no different, it stayed this whole week and a half with Crowley and some of his feelings towards it have bled into the metal.

And Aziraphale knows for a fact Crowley doesn’t care for watches of any kind, much less something so outdated.

He smiles.

“Thank you, Crowley,” he interrupts him mid-rant, watches his eyes go round behind the glasses and his face turn a shade redder. Crowley falls silent, softens.

“Don’t mention it, angel,” Crowley shrugs carelessly, voice is anything but. His wings flutter in the ethereal plane and the air where they would be shimmers. Thank you, he means.

Aziraphale sets the box down in the desk and hooks the watch into his vest. The sunlight reflects off the gold and warms the room. He pours them more wine and it tastes even sweeter with the I love you too floating between them4.

*

1. See, around the fifth century Aziraphale got his own wings in a spot. It was a case of bad landing, really, a silly mistake, but it twisted his right wing wrong at the tips and the bone cracked a bit. Nothing to worry over, and since he had been in a rush, Aziraphale had healed it on the spot.

Never was the same, that one. Always itches when it rains.

2. That had been an interesting conversation and Aziraphale had been amused by it, on and off, for days. Why didn’t you drive it here? he had asked that first night while pouring them both some wine. Crowley had made an affronted noise, soaking wet? It would’ve ruined the leather! the demon had huffed. Why didn’t you dry yourself up, then? And that had been met with an awkwardly guilty silence. Crowley had not thought of that at the time and left the Bentley alone in the park. 

The papers next day had reported love of my life by the English band Queen could be heard playing all night long near St. James Park. 

3. Not that any of them buy anything. They seem to come in very intent on buying rare and early editions of all sorts of books, but they all end up losing interest after a good fifteen minutes. Aziraphale hasn’t sold a copy in the whole week, except for a guide to London to a very lost tourist looking for the Eiffel Tower.

4. As it turns out, the wine is at it’s sweetest when tasted in Crowley’s tongue, but Aziraphale won’t find this until a few days later when Crowley’s wings heal and he shows no intention of moving back out.

[fae-fucker]

Review: Shatter Me

by Tahereh Mafi

Juliette hasn’t touched anyone in exactly 264 days.

The last time she did, it was an accident, but The Reestablishment locked her up for murder. No one knows why Juliette’s touch is fatal. As long as she doesn’t hurt anyone else, no one really cares. The world is too busy crumbling to pieces to pay attention to a 17-year-old girl. Diseases are destroying the population, food is hard to find, birds don’t fly anymore, and the clouds are the wrong color.

The Reestablishment said their way was the only way to fix things, so they threw Juliette in a cell. Now so many people are dead that the survivors are whispering war– and The Reestablishment has changed its mind. Maybe Juliette is more than a tortured soul stuffed into a poisonous body. Maybe she’s exactly what they need right now.

Juliette has to make a choice: BE A WEAPON. OR BE A WARRIOR.

*This review contains vague spoilers.*

I uh … I’m having a hard time figuring out where to even begin with this one, lads. I guess I’ll start with the absolute basics:

This book is not a dystopia. This is a superhero (supervillain?) origin story. I didn’t know this going in and it didn’t feel like it until the very end. With heavy-handed romance, heavy-handed writing, heavy-handed messages, and a plodding plot that I’m pretty sure sucked about 25 years out of my goddamn life.

*rubs hands together*

Well, with that in mind, let’s do this!

The “Writing”

Tahereh Mafi isn’t some backwater Harlequin mommy porn writer, nu-uh! She’s an Artiste, and as such, her art isn’t merely art, it’s Arté.

When a sentence could be five words, Mafi makes it a paragraph. When a metaphor could make sense, Mafi confuses your PLEBEIAN MIND with her MYSTIC WRITING POWERS, to the point where nothing fucking makes sense anymore and you’re just scratching your head, wondering how the fuck supposedly near-catatonic Juliette is able to come up with such convoluted comparisons. When other writers use pages to put words on them for people to read, Mafi puts maybe one word at the very top for four or five pages for the DRAMA of it all, except unlike when we all freaked out about Stephenie Meyer doing that, here it’s Artistic.

Jokes aside, this book is the epitome of everything I hate about purple prose. As someone who violently dislikes purple prose (because usually it’s done horribly by people who want to show off how many big words they know rather than evoke any sort of emotion), I knew going in that this book wouldn’t be for me, but I wasn’t expecting this.

Metaphors are long ang confusing, the prose and the rhythm are all off, the dialogue is atrocious and cartoonish, and Juliette’s thoughts are painfully obtuse despite her supposed “deep” personality. Except sometimes her thoughts are so convoluted and specific that it clashes with how dumb she is. Sometimes she thinks of the lackadaisical ennui of the uncaring sun, sometimes she compares her boyfriend’s eyes to buckets of water. It’s a huge, disjointed mess of word vomit.

People have defended Juliette’s narration as being a result of her solitary confinement, but those people’s opinions are bad and wrong and you shouldn’t listen to them, and I will explain to you why when I discuss Juliette’s “personality” in the character section of this review.

This book’s main “thing” is Juliette crossing out words and sentences, but it’s not consistent enough to actually mean anything or tell us anything about Juliette. It also happens in dialogue, which is fucking baffling. How do characters speak the words that are crossed out? Presumably they don’t, and I’m guessing that it’s supposed to represent what Juliette thinks people want to say but don’t, but then why the fuck would you put the crossed-out shit inside the quotes with the actual dialogue? Don’t!!!! Do that!!!! You’re clearly not equipped to ignore the rules of grammar yet, Mrs Mafi! You need to level up!!!

Sometimes, things that are implied to be true are crossed out. Sometimes, it’s the propaganda that Juliette knows is untrue that’s crossed out. With both the truth and the lies, Juliette’s thoughts vs her feelings, being crossed out without any rhyme or reason, we can never be entirely certain what the fuck the strikethroughs are supposed to represent.

If, for example, only the lies were crossed out, it would imply Juliette was aware that they’re lies and isn’t afraid to confront the truth. If only the truth was crossed out, then it would mean Juliette is in denial, knowing something is wrong but believing it anyway.

Instead, the strikethrough bullshit is just … there. What it means changes from instance to instance, and because of that, it loses all the impact and significance it could’ve had and ends up meaning nothing.

In short: the writing in this book is a whole-ass mess and nothing you say will convince me otherwise.

The Characters

Juliette’s mind is perfectly fine at all times, characters even praise her for being able to withstand literal psychological torture unlike all the other female WEAKLINGS in the facility. Her obnoxious inner monologues are just there for show, because Juliette is Deep and Troubled but in a sexy, dramatic way that doesn’t actually impact her as a person or her life at all. She doesn’t suffer from any mental illness or trauma that would’ve been brought on by 260+ days of nonstop psychological torture and years of emotional abuse and neglect.

How do I know that? Because she doesn’t believe any of the bullshit she spouts. It’s made perfectly clear that Juliette only thinks in metaphors because that’s just her obnoxious “personality”. Sometimes one of the Boys says something and she claims that her knees shatter or something similar. Except she doesn’t react as if they were, as if she felt the pain. She only thinks that because … Idk. It’s deep. Shut the fuck up.

I think her narration is supposed to imply that Juliette is smart, but that’s hilariously contrasted by her constant, and I mean fucking CONSTANT thirst and attraction to both Adam and Warner, the latter being especially jarring considering how she keeps saying she despises him and is disgusted by him.

She ogles and fawns over these men even when she’s in pain or in danger, even when they’re the ones inflicting the pain or threatening her. That’s how fucking horny she is, that’s where Mafi’s priorities lie.

She undermines her own protagonist by having Juliette constantly act like a horny schoolgirl instead of the broken and tortured person she should be after what she’s been through. After years of isolation and discrimination, after 260 days of solitary confinement, this girl still acts just like any other normal horny teenager, and it’s fucking awful to read, because it invalidates everything Juliette has been through and once again puts sex appeal and men higher on the priority list over an honest and realistic portrayal of trauma and isolation.

Speaking of sex appeal …

Warner. Oh Warner. What wonderful potential was lost. I think he’s genuinely interesting, or at least had the potential to be. He’s damaged and he’s troubled and he’s complex, despite how edgy he is. He’s hands-down the most interesting character in the book, and I weep for Mafi’s inability to fucking pace herself because that’s what’s absolutely ruined him for me. Let me explain:

I’m all for redemption arcs, alright? And Warner? He’s … salvageable. With some work and some atonement, I can totally see him becoming a complex anti-hero type. He’s clearly fucked up and the things he does are damaging him.

You know where Mafi fails? You know where she fucking destroys the guy?

She’s constantly describing him as hot. When he’s acting like a terrifying and abusive shithead, Juliette can’t help but think of how the anger makes his green eyes flash. When he takes off his shirt, Juliette claims how disgusted she is by the sight, and then in the same breath describes his perfectly sculpted chest in careful detail.

We’re supposed to find Warner sexy.

We’re supposed to reluctantly be attracted to him, just like Juliette, despite that and sometimes even because he’s a dangerous and abusive jackass.

There’s even a makeout session between Juliette and Warner where she’s complaining about how grossed out she is, but the kissing is described in more sexy and hot detail than any Adam makeout, and Juliette can’t help her attraction to Warner despite her believing he’d just killed the man she loves in cold blood.

Do you undersand my problem? If Warner was just a tragic villain and Juliette pitied him and didn’t feel any, and I mean ANY attraction to the guy, I would 100% accept him later trying to change sides to atone or to make up for the things he did. Aka a proper redemption arc.

But here, he’s already written as attractive to us. He’s already sexy and desireable and alluring. The narrative paints him in a good light by undermining the terrible things he does through constant descriptions of his appearance and Juliette’s obvious lust for him.

And you can say that “Woe, Juliette can’t control her attraction!” and you would still be a dumbass, because guess who can control Juliette’s attraction? Tahereh Mafi. It was Mafi’s conscious decision to make Juliette attracted to Warner, to write him this way as a sexy but dangerous man we’re supposed to root for and want to fix.

And that’s just gross. So whatever excuse or justification or explanation Warner’s actions get in lieu of an actual redemption arc, it won’t matter to me, because it’s already been undermined by how sexy he’s supposed to be despite his damage, and the terrible things he does are only there to make him more “mysterious” and his eventual love interest status more unexpected.

Mafi isn’t interested in writing a redemption arc, she just can’t write a morally ambiguous or mysterious love interest without taking it up to eleven and have him be a fucking unhinged dictator, but it’s ok because he’s still hot enough to bang!

I love redemption arcs. I hate abusers who are painted as attractive.

Adam exists. And what a pointless existence it is! He’s very obviously a decoy love interest, too nice and too basic to be endgame, and just vague and nonthreatening enough to have a sinister plan.

See, girls? Boys who protect you and care about you are actually evil! The boys who abuse you and terrify you are the ones who truly love you!

Kenji is very clearly designed to be quirky and snarky and for the Tumblr fangirls to fawn over to the point where he sticks out like a sore thumb among the rest of the cast. I didn’t like him and found him to be pretty boring without any deviation from the snarky flirty guy archetype.

There are a bunch of other characters that are spoilers and who don’t really matter, but I will say that there is a Black man who’s described as chocolate, so there.

Um. Women? I’m pretty sure the only named women we actually get to see on the page are two identical twins who are basically one entity and they show up in like the last chapter?

Before one of you shouts OMG THERE ARE MORE WOMEN IN THE LATER BOOKS, yeah, probably, I fucking hope so, but I’m not reviewing those books yet, I’m reviewing this one, and it’s one fucking giant sausage fest of hot dudes and faceless mooks.

Dems the fax.

The “Plot”

If you go into this expecting an exploration of the importance of human touch and how the lack of it might impact a person, you’re a dumbass and so am I for making that mistake.

If you’re expecting a gloomy but action-filled dystopia based on some more district/caste/personality oppression, you’re wrong again but at least justified because that’s what this is marketed as.

The stakes and conflict are … are they? Are we sure they even exist? Jury’s still out because I have no idea what Juliette wants aside from sucking Adam’s dick (and Warner’s sometimes). I know what she doesn’t want, I think (?), but I don’t know why she doesn’t want it aside from the “uwu i’m too good and pure and love people too much even tho they’ve shown me nothing but hatred and rejection” crap.

I’m honestly having a hard time figuring out what this book even is about. Supposedly the major plot development is Juliette realizing how powerful she is and how nobody will get to use her anymore, but the first thing happens in the very last chapter out of fucking nowhere, while the last thing doesn’t even matter because up until this point, Juliette has already been spending the entire book refusing to be used in the first place.

Oh, and about the first thing again, where Juliette must realize her power? It’s supposed to be this big epic moment for her at the end of the book, but we see her use her powers to throw around threats to get what she wants several times before that, on people she barely knows. She threatens Kenji just because he makes a few inappropriate comments about her, which is fucking baffling because she refused to even try to hurt Warner even though he’s been nothing but an asshole to her up until that point.

The moment Juliette gets her hands on a gun, she’s suddenly super empowered and has no problem spitting badass one-liners, even though she was a sad woobie pacifist up until that point and who couldn’t even IMAGINE hurting anyone, not even supposed monster Warner. The whole gun thing is weird and vaguely gross tbh, because Juliette genuinely seems to enjoy the power it gives her and I’m not into that.

On a technical level, this book is mostly Juliette being pushed around by men, feeling sorry for herself and clinging to morals that only serve to show how pure and good she is despite making no sense and being odd for someone in her position to have.

There are entire chapters of repeated revelations, where Juliette is sometimes literally dragged around from scene to scene by the hand, and she realizes the same thing over and over, seemingly forgetting it at the start of the chapter just to she can learn it again by the end of it: Warner is a meanie poopy-head who’s willing to hurt, kill, and torture other people for his own gain. Every time he shows this, Juliette acts shocked all over again.

This goes on for about half the book until shit suddenly takes a turn and the book becomes yet another Underground Teenage Rebellion Fighting to Take Down the Man drama, except this time the teenagers are mutants with cool superpowers.

It’s a complete tonal shift and it’s jarring as all heck, but at least there’s no more pretense about this being a dystopia because boy oh boy is it painful to watch Mafi struggle to worldbuild even the slightest concept for this superpowered angstfest.

The Worldbuilding

Important Proper Nouns galore. The book’s website (where I got the blurb) says that this book is “fresh” and “original”.

Yeah let’s uuh … Let’s investigate that statement.

The main evil guys are called the Reestablishment. That’s two letters away from Juliette fighting the establishment.

D-do I need to say more?

I honestly don’t know if I can. It’s like Mafi just sorta took all the other YA dystopian “quirks” and threw them all in without rhyme or reason.

Climate is fucked because of Big Corporate? Yeah. All animals are dead or mutated? Yup. Art and religion is deemed bad and terrible and banned for reasons? Throw that in there too, why not? They’re destroying all languages, English included? O-ok?

We never really … dwell on any of these things or figure out why they happened or how or even where. These things are always brought up together like some sort of checklist of all the bad things that the Reestablishment has done.

And I guess for a superhero story with “pulse-pounding” romance, it doesn’t really have to be that much more complicated, and it serves its function, but on Mafi’s website there’s boasting about how it has the worldbuilding of The Hunger Games and honey, you might become a more successful circus act than a writer because the level of contortion required to shove your head that far up your ass is frankly impressive.

The Wokeness

Warner is constantly described and called “crazy” and “insane” and a “madman”, so that’s FUN. Combined with the fact that this book doesn’t seem to have any idea about what solitary does to you and effectively trivializes literal torture, this isn’t looking good, lads.

There’s also, as I mentioned, no women aside from Juliette, and everything’s always about men and how they affect her and her life and how much they matter to her.

Just. Bad. The most progressive thing about this book is the fact that a WoC wrote it, and that’s about it.

The Quotes

I’m … so sorry for this. But you have to see them.

This Kills the Lady

Raindrops are my only reminder that clouds have a heartbeat. That I have one, too.

I always wonder about raindrops.

I wonder about how they’re always falling down, tripping over their own feet, breaking their legs and forgetting their parachutes as they tumble right out of the sky toward an uncertain end. It’s like someone is emptying their pockets over the earth and doesn’t seem to care where the contents fall, doesn’t seem to care that the raindrops burst when they hit the ground, that they shatter when they fall to the floor, that people curse the days the drops dare to tap on their doors.

I am a raindrop.

My parents emptied their pockets of me and left me to evaporate on a concrete slab.

Wot?

I catch the rose petals as they fall from my cheeks, as they float around the frame of my body, as they cover me in something that feels like the absence of courage.

Huh?

He shifts and my eyes shatter into thousands of pieces that ricochet around the room, capturing a million snapshots, a million moments in time. Flickering images faded with age, frozen thoughts hovering precariously in dead space, a whirlwind of memories that slice through my soul.

Come Again?

Summer is like a slow-cooker bringing everything in the world to a boil 1 degree at a time. It promises a million happy adjectives only to pour stench and sewage into your nose for dinner.

The Sun is a Rat Bastard – Poem by Juliette

I hate the lackadaisical ennui of a sun too preoccupied with itself to notice the infinite hours we spend in its presence. The sun is an arrogant thing, always leaving the world behind when it tires of us.

Juliette Contemplates Cannibalism

He whispers, “How are you?” and I want to kiss every beautiful beat of his heart.

He’s Not Wrong, I Guess

It’s the only reason Adam is staying with me – because Warner thinks Adam is a cardboard cutout of vanilla regurgitations.

Get You A Man Who Can Fix Years of Abuse and 260 Days of Solitary!

He’s kissing away the pain, the hurt, the years of self-loathing, the insecurities, the dashed hopes for a future I always pictured as obsolete.

*Sarah J Maas voice*

Realization is a pendulum the size of the moon. It won’t stop slamming into me.

I … What?

He’s a hot bath, a short breath, 5 days of summer pressed into 5 fingers writing stories on my body.

Juliette is a Loony Tunes Character

My eyelashes trip into my eyebrows; my jaw drops into my lap.

Kenji Is the Worst

He grins and hobbles forward. “You know, you’re pretty hot for a psycho chick.”

I … What? part 2

My jaw is dangling from my shoelace.

The Conclusion

Don’t waste your time on this. Trust me. There’s so many things I’ve left out for the sake of brevity, and I still ended up with a mile-long review.

It doesn’t work as a romance, it doesn’t work as a dystopia, and it certainly doesn’t work as a superhero origin story. Mostly because it tries to be all of these things at once and ends up being an overwritten mediocre mess.

For a time I felt vaguely invested and interested in knowing what happened in the next books, but that feeling has passed now and I couldn’t give less of a shit.

I would honestly be very interested in seeing a character like Warner be written properly and watch him try to redeem himself and atone. But that train has already left the station, and Mafi was not on it.

[praphit]

Slender Man: They hate him cuz they ain't him

It was a big weekend in movies! We were torn between two films. There was of course "BlackkKlansman" - this movie has strong acting, the amazing and quite possibly the angriest director out there Spike Lee, and even that Adam Driver guy I feel has been on the come up. Tons of social commentary: important thangs to talk about concerning race, this nations history with slavery, and the current state of our government... good stuff! Hittin all of the issues! -  BUT, that's not the movie we chose to see.

We naturally went with "Slender Man" instead.

You might say "But, John Praphit, BlackkKlansman has Denzel Washington's son, important issues, and powerful directing... what were you thinking?"

Hey, don't sell The Slender Man short - he has with him... um... Joey King! And... Julia Goldani Telles.

You say "Who the hell are they?"

Yeah, idk. I've also never heard of the production companies or the director, BUT that might only mean they haven't had their fair shot; this could be it! And maybe Slender Man is also filled with the social issues of the day; you don't know! - but I'm here to tell you:)

Let's take a look at SM here -

He's really rockin that no face thing isn't he?? See, many might try hair with the lack of a face. I think no hair is a good call. Imagine Slender Man with an afro;

he'd look ridiculous. And that suit - are you kiddin me??! YES! I mean, idk why he needs a nice suit when he only hangs out in the woods, but... he's prepared. We all have that friend who's always overdressed; though we may make fun of them, part of us kinda wants to be them. Idk what's going on with those tentacles/ tree limbs growing out from behind him... he must be self-sonscious of them though, because whenever they start to show in this film, they cut away. He's got too much style to be a horror movie monster. Perhaps this well dressed creature is simply misunderstood.

Despite his dreaminess, this movie stars more than SM, but these fine what's-their-name actresses. The movie starts off with four girls, who have been close friends for a while, who have a hangout featuring vodka, porn, and occult stuff. One thing I appreciate about this movie is that they get into the horror quickly. There's a lil build up to show how close they all are, and some family atmosphere, but then we're right into the scary.

I have to mention the family dinner :) It must be an art form to capture genuine dinner scenes, cuz this one didn't have it. One of the daughters in the dinner scene only drank water... I mean no eating of anything... she had food, why just the drinking of water... curious. And there's a dad in the beginning dinner scene who's buttering his bread for like 5 mins. I was thinking at the moment "Is anyone going to bring up daddy's butter problem?" He was just buttering and buttering and asking the kids about their days, and right back to buttering.

(the war ain't over for this family)

Sooooo, back to the vodka, porn, and occult.

THAT, my friends is a hell of a weekday (school night) hangout. The gathering around the Tv for pornography and summoning of demonic beings are to be expected - their kids, let them have fun! BUT, the drinking! - Parents, be better! Their ruined teenage livers are on you.

It's straight forward. They watch some weird vid (kinda like "The Ring") and the craziness begins. Apparently, after watching this vid, you may start to see The Slender Man; if you do he's got you. You will either end up missing or go crazy... or both, I guess. One of their friends goes missing, and they begin their search for answers. They end up asking some stranger that they met on the internet for advice, and this stranger tells them to offer Slender Man something of value to them in exchange for their friend.

Ok, so let's rewind. They follow a STRANGER'S advice to go into the woods and sacrifice things of value to some supernatural being. They do this dumb thing, but they kinda half-ass it. Their "things of value" end up being a photograph, something one of them made in arts & crafts... and like a lucky T-shirt or something. Your friend has just been kidnapped! You may want to dig a lil deeper. "Here Slender Man, let me offer you my last chicken nugget. I'm full anyway. Can I have my friend back?" 

The Slender Man must have thought to himself "Arts & Crafts? Really? These girls must be trying to punk me." He then spends the rest of the movie making them regret their poor sacrificial decisions.

When the cool and creepy gets going, it doesn't stop, and it's very effective. I love how they mess with the audiences heads with the imagery. You'll start seeing Slender Man everywhere. They don't rely on cheap gore scenes and jump scares, which I also appreciated about this movie. They even use scenes that lead you to believe something horrific is about to happen, but then it won't... not in a disappointing way, but it's intense. Well done!

The two actresses that I mentioned earlier are also good in this movie.

One of them has that glassy-I-could-cry-at-any-moment-eyes. She'll make you feel her pain.

There's another actress in here who does a good job at making us believe she's scared. It's like they gave her hallucinogens and filmed her having a bad reaction.

This is another one of those supernatural monster movies when everyone just kinda has to guess what to do. Sometimes, in these types of movies there's an expert of sorts, but the only "experts" here are strangers online.

I enjoyed this movie:)

Though, when I say they had to figure things out (and I understand that), there are things they should have known to do and to not do. There are plenty of things that the writers either didn't think about or didn't care about.

The kids for example, run out into the middle of the woods AT NIGHT to sacrifice their items, which no one told them to do. Literally, the middle of the woods! Forget Slender Man, there are all kinds of things that could happen out there. Which again, parents, you're bleeping up!

And about these parents, where the hell were they?! Some of these parents are barely around (buttering bread), while others are never around. One of your kids was just abducted! More of them are losing their minds! WHERE ARE YOU?!

There is one slight spoiler I'll throw in - one of their friends (who happens to be black)... something happens to her, and when her friends find out the state that she's in, they simply say "I knew something was up with her", and keep going! They could have helped her, but NOPE.

What about the teachers? These kids are in highschool. One of the kids actually gets lost on a school trip. No help from the school. No accountability, apparently and no concern. Some of these kids are losing their minds on school property. Those teachers just kept on with the lessons. Not even the other students help out these main girls or are even concerned. We're all just going to pretend like students are going crazy and missing?

Lastly, the police! Almost no police in this movie. No one questioned, no protection, no investigation. It's kinda like kids get screwed over so much in this town that the police have given up.

This all sounds like a lot bad writing ( and it is), but it also kinda adds to the fun. There will be those who will heavily downgrade this movie, because they are Slender Man lore purists, and apparently on that level this movie doesn't begin to measure up. Idk nothing about that, soooo I went in fresh, and enjoyed my new friend Slender Man. That's right, he's my buddy. I still say he's misunderstood. I mean, he IS out in the woods, and we DO see him coming after the kids, but what does that prove?. Maybe SM is a nicely dressed homeless man just trying to get by in the woods. Maybe these kids are just out in the woods doing shrooms (way to go, parents) and falling into holes never to be seen again. Live the Slender Man alone! The man doesn't have a face! - I'm sure his life is hard enough as it is.

Or maybe he's murdering kids out there, idk. You be the judge. Though I admit that certain pics you'll find on the internet aren't helping me prove his case.

Grade: B

Everyone who factored into this movie's 15% rating on RT are just haters. They're just jealous of my main man SM and his fly suits. They hatem cuz they ain't him.

Some of you might be saying, "But, Praphit, I'm sure this movie is aiight, but BlackkKlansman had those important social topics!"

I could argue that "Slender Man" does as well.

#1 - The black girl that her friends just kinda leave behind. I mean, seriously, what the hell? #blacklivesmatter

#2 - Lesbians - two of the friends in the group sure were close... like real close. Some may think I'm reading into things that aren't there, but I say these characters were forced to remain in the closet. But, maybe their parents found out... maybe that's why none of them are ever around. They couldn't bear that forbidden love. Apparently, The Slender Man does his thing around the bible belt.

#3 - Missing Kids! Not something I used to think about, but now whenever I go into a new town, I check to see how many kids go missing there and how often. If it's an alarming rate, I'm out! When SM is done with the kids he might start on the adults. Besides, if the cops are letting this many lost kids slide without an investigation, what else would they turn a blind eye to?

#4 Mental Illness - perhaps people we label as mentally ill are the ones in the know. Maybe we should all start listening a little more.

Y'all can come to me. I'm here for you. I'll listen. The next time you're out in the middle of the woods (because a stranger online told you to) and you notice a man with no face, wearing awesome suits, with trees growing out of his ass you can tell me. I'll listen and get you the help you need:)

[irregulardiaryposts]

20:27 10/01/2021 so. yes hello . i have corona looool. its not funny but it kinda is. a lot has changed since the last time i wrote and yet nothing at all has happened. its 2021 lol. its just 2020 pt 2 tho. crazy shit. i feel fine tho i dont feel ill at all. im currently looking at some art that i like and trying to find more since i wanna make a collage on my wall or something. ive always wanted a room that just feels like ME ya know. i always felt like my room didnt really show who i was because i tend to live in my head. like all of me is in my noggin instead of showing who i am through the way i dress/how my room looks/personalised things like my phone and stuff . like its never really shown what im like probably because i dont really know who i am. that feels weird to say because of course i know who i am. its a me. mario. no. lol. i really want to get into tailoring my life to ME rather than just existing ya know. like i feel as though theres no point doing anything like expressing myself because ill just end up being not bothered to finish something or ill end up not liking it so ive wasted my time. but u know what. fuck it. i wanna do thinks like that and maybe one day ill look back at when i started doing this and thank myself. thats got to be worth more than the feeling of disappointment of wasting ur time for something u dont like. coz if its not better then thats not fair. i was contemplating whether or not to actually continue this because its cringe and i dont want anyone to ever find this because i hate people knowing more about me than i let them. you only ever get to know the me i want you to. lol. i exist on my conditions. i should really put this somewhere else than on a notepad on my laptop. maybe i should create a tumblr account and upload these coz i think i could access it more privately than this. the more i think about it the better of an idea this is. i still like writing on this notepad because its familiar and allows for more expression i think . because i can make as many spelling mistakes as i want and no one can correct me. haagaHHghvsqhdbjsnbsd. anyways what was i talking about. ah yes self expression. i think ive been struggling with this because i dont like boxing myself in. and i especially hate when other people box me in . :((((((( makes me mad >:[ hehehheh anyway i have the first day of online school tomorrow ... which... yeah sucks. but i dont even know if half my teachers are actually doing it lol. i hope prelims get cancelled because i mean the exams are so why shouldnt prelims be. the thing is that i struggle with motivation so much. and its not even like "i dont want to start this massive project because it will take a lot of time and energy" its more "i cant pick up that book that is within arms reach even though i quite like the idea of reading right now and wouldnt mind getting a bit of progress done i just physically cant put my phone down and pick that up because my brain doesnt want to even though.. it does????" man am i bad at explaining. anyway i was saying that because even though i knowwww i shouldve been studying the past two weeks the only thing ive done is like.. look at some spanish and thought about things i can do in my own time to help that. but the thing is i enjoy spanish for the most part so like,,, with me enjoying the subject, wanting to learn it, and going to fking uni for it, all ive done is 20 minutes of spur of the moment writing lmao. so chemistry and maths are fked. coz i dislike chem especially. fuck that shit lol. i feel very trapped in my own head but i feel like im doing that becauese ive learned to do that for so long. its weird existing to other people especially when u didnt feel like u existed to yourself for a long time. like as though ehdjsb jhbwalkjkjbf i dont know what im saying. oh yeah the minecraft end poem almost made me cry again. im gonna read it again because i just reminded myself and im gonna come back and tell u my fave. why am i speaking to you as though u are real. like ur a person. maybe ill keep doing that. what do u think. anyway brb wait im gonna play minecarft music while i read it and maybe i can cry. "i like this player. it played well. it did not give up" "this player dreamed of sunlight and trees. of fire and water. it dreamed it created. and it dreamed it destroyed. it dreamed it hunted, and was hunted. it dreamed of shelter." "does it know we love it? that the universe is kind?" "to cure it of sorrow would destroy it. the sorrow is part of its own private task" "to tell them how to live is to prevent them living" "take a breath, now. take another. feel air in your lungs. let your limbs return. yes, move your fingers. have a body again, under gravity, in air. respawn in the long dream. there you are. your body is touching the universe again at every point, as though you were separate things. as though we were separate things" "and why does the universe touch your skin, and throw light on you? to see you, player. to know you. and to be known." "and the universe said i love you - and the universe said you have played the game well - and the universe said everything you need is within you - and the universe said you are stronger than you know - and the universe said you are the daylight - and the universe said you are the night - and the universe said the darkness you fight is within you - and the universe said the light you seek is within you - and the universe said you are not alone - and the universe said you are not sepsrate from every other thing - and the universe said you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code - and the universe said i love you because you are love" *sobs* " and the player was the universe. and the player was love. you are the player. wake up." how was i supposed to be okay after reading that huh. honestly tho i live minecraft like its such a beautiful game i cant believe i used to be ashamed to admit i played it :/ . in the middle of that i created a tumblr account coz i got sidetracked but its good to know that tumblr doesnt have a character limit that im aware of. anyway i know thats a lot of quotes its like almost half of the entire poem but like. its beautiful tho. its really grounding and like validating? to hear some of that idk. the universe is actually fking mental tho lol and i love learning about it i think thats one of the reasons i did so well in physics is that is taking something so entirely complex and crazy into math and reason and logic so i can at least understand a little about the universe. i can know it back. maybe i am the universe. and really were just understanding ourselves. getting to know who we are and where we all came from. i think thats lovely since some people (inc me) dont really know who they are or what theyre supposed to be so its comforting to know that at the very least we are all made from atoms and we were all forged from the same galaxy and that we are a part of the universe, part of something important just by existing. that we dont have to be special or unique by anyone's standards because we are formed in the same way stars are, were all just a collection of atoms, arranged to make up something incredible, and the fact that we can understand that shows how remarkable we are just by existing. like thats it. we are amazing just because we exist at the same time as the universe, that we are the universe. and so yes physics is "just maths" but maths is a tool to explain how phenomenal our exitance actually is. yeah. wow. ok imma go watch youtube or something now. bye bye. also notice how there was like an almost 3 month gap in between writing these. yeah.

[altruistic-meme]

alright my dudes, this post is going to go deep. in it, I'm going to talk about some rather triggering content. under the cut I'm going to tell you about my personal experiences with the mental illnesses I have and just basically try and give you an understanding as to why I sometimes act the way I do. so if you care to read, and reading won't in any way negatively affect you, then click that read more. if not, feel free to scroll on, no hard feelings. sometimes you aren't feeling up to reading dark shit and I can respect that, I get that way too. now, with minimal further preamble, the undercut and what lies beneath...

(potentially triggering content includes: discussion of depression and anxiety and  mentions of self-harm and suicide.)

well hello there, and welcome to the undercut. I'm about to take you on a journey through the messed up part of my mind. I'm gonna try and keep this short and to the point mostly.

A QUICK THING; it's probably going to be very incoherent, and if you are confused about something or would like more information about something, do feel free to visit my inbox or messages and ask! a lot of people are very uncomfortable talking about this stuff and lbr, I kinda am too, but I'm making an effort to speak up more about it, and to reach out a hand to those who need it, as I never really had one put forth for me. so do not be shy to ask about anything, that's what this post is about, hm?

let's just jump right into this, shall we?

HERE WE GO; I HAVE AN ANXIETY DISORDER AND MILD-SEVERE DEPRESSION.

neither of which are fun, lemme tell ya. (and I am totally in awe of people who have either or BOTH and are out there, working and being an adult in general like damn. u strong. go u.)

a disclaimer before I continue: this post is about MY PERSONAL experiences with these illnesses. this is NOT a post about the general symptoms of these illnesses. if you relate to anything I say in this post, I'm v v sorry that you are going through this, bc it's hell, not gonna lie. anywho, I had better see 0 bullshit about "oh, you don't have x bc you don't do/feel blah blah blah" not everyone goes through the same stuff, dipshit.

moving on.

symptoms yayyyy;

Anxiety: -I am extremely socially anxious. -this means going up to the counter to ask for a take-out container for leftover food at a restaurant? u m no. -talking to strangers? no. -it is also really hard for me to talk to little kids or older folks. -and then there is also; feeling anxious (wow) -having 209745 worst-case scenario's go through my head. -trying to sleep and instead having my brain interrupt and tell me "hey ya know what's cool? thinking about how you could mess up x" -actually that happens a lot. -a general thought process for me; "am i good enough? do I look okay? do I act like an idiot? am I charming or stupid? am I cool or a know-it-all? I talk about myself too much. what else can I talk about? them, talk about them. but that doesn't work either. I don't know what to say." -not fun. -and that is just what came immediately to mind. there are lots and lots of different variations. -don't even get me started on how doing my school makes me feel. -and a metric fuckton of second-guessing. -no panic attacks yet but I have felt like I was close to having one often.

Depression: -just. suicidal thoughts. let that sink in a minute. -also thoughts of self-harm. -like there are days where looking at a knife will make me want to cut and I have to hold knives on a daily basis pretty much so not fun. -can we see that self-deprecation?? yeah we can. -constantly wondering if my family loves me. -don't even get me started on my friends. -hiding in my room bc it's literally the only place where I feel kinda safe from myself -except for when I remember that I have scissors in here. -enjoying things I used to love whom?? -times where I have to take a minute to psych myself up for little tasks like carrying my dishes to the sink. -i n s o m n i a. all over. -some days I lose all will to eat, or just my appetite as a whole. -motivation?? don't know her. lack of motivation is the only one here.

ah, yeah, let's stop there for now.

another interrupty thingy!!: bc I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume at least some of my friends will read this, there are two things to assure you of; YES I know you love me but depressions goggles make it hard to remember that sometimes. and PLEASE don't freak out over the first 3 items on the depression symptom list I'm fine. I will explain in just a sec.

okie? okie.

so now ya know! not fun! kinda terrifying actually!

"oh, well, Ac, why don't you just try sleeping more? or going outside more? or drinking water? or eating regularly? doing yoga?"

all very good suggestions. yes, they CAN help improve mood, but at the point I am at, they aren't going to help much.

and for the sleep part, lemme tell you, I KNOW FULL WELL that I should sleep more. but guess what? I can't. like, I can. not. sleep. I want to sleep. I enjoy sleeping, I enjoy being fully awake during the day and I enjoy not feeling and looking like a fucking zombie. but you know what? Anxiety and Depression by themselves usually make it harder for people to sleep. combined? I'm fucked. sometimes, yes, I get a regular amount of sleep. but also sometimes I don't. I'm not yet sure what it is that triggers me into either cycle, but they can last from two months to four days.

and OK. I get that you have your ways of making yourself sleep. but you don't understand. I have had to sit through the same speech from my mother about "just picture a blank wall" 6. TIMES. your methods are yours, and while I'm very glad they work for you, it is highly unlikely they will work for me.

okay now, if you got worried when you saw the first 3 symptoms under Depression: I really do appreciate your concern, and I am touched that you care. I'm not going to say it's ok bc of course it's not, it's very not ok, but it is something that I am and have been working on. the first time most of these thoughts hit and hit hard was November 2017, and immediately after I calmed down from them I decided that I had to talk to my mum about going to therapy.

this started a kinda long process including telling my gf, my friend, and my sister before telling my mum. and then of course when I did tell her in December we weren't able to actually try and setup an appointment until January due to being out of insurance. and ofc after that we find out that the recommendation I had gotten the previous year for anxiety was expired and this resulted in me having to go back to the doctor, then to the ER bc that was the only way to get their on-hand therapist to come that day, and then I had to spend 2 hours there bc they were v v concerned and I was almost admitted for a few days bc of my thoughts.

and yeah, it was a mess.

but I do now have a therapist who I've been seeing for a few weeks, and we have a safety plan in place, and he was v v impressed with my knowledge on coping mechanisms and just my symptoms as a general.

random story: when I was maybe 14 I had already self-diagnosed that I had some sort of Anxiety disorder, and I mentioned it out loud in front of my two sisters and one, who had had panic attacks that had sent her to the ER before, was like ah, yeah. and the other one, who as far as I know STILL doesn't have an anxiety disorder let alone had one back then, said basically "no you don't. god. like, I believe that you have anxiety bc everyone does but you don't have REALY anxiety" which is, ya know, why she didn't know why I was going to therapy until my mum told her several weeks in (and even then idk if she evens knows the full reason, but she hasn't asked me so fuck that)

anyway, i'mma try and wrap this up now!

tl;dr, basically; I have Anxiety and Depression. I have had suicidal thoughts (in the past and recently) but I am working to get rid of them, and until such a time occurs, I do have a plan for if they show up that will result in me being protected and safe. I have coping mechanisms and I use them whenever I feel like I need to, and sometimes when I don't simply bc I enjoy them. I'm currently in once a week therapy with someone who let's me talk and laughs with me when I crack a joke and listens to my stances on issues. I know that you have your methods for things, and I'm very glad they work for you, but do NOT try and force them on me.

I hope you now understand a little bit more about me and why I sometimes react to things the way I do.

have a great day, month, year, life.

~Ac

[4yutaeil]

prince johnny & the mermaid

(its u. ur the mermaid) 

ft. some other nct princes & mermen 

basically takes place in the same au as mermaid taeyong which if u havent read is here! 

so ... ur a mermaid princess from a different kingdom 2 taeyong n the rest of the nct mermaid gang.

& you’re visiting because the Ruler of Ur Kingdom (ur dad) has 2 go for the annual Mermaid Council Meeting and is like “listen you’re the next in line to rule you have to come.. You need to learn what your responsibilities are gonna be” 

n you dont rlly wanna go but you’re like FINE whatever. 

so you tag along & u dont rlly bother meeting the citizens of the nct kingdom bc you’re gonna be there for like a week tops before u gotta leave again so whats??? the Point. 

u basically plan to spend the week in ur Luxurious Clam Shell sleeping.

but you get bored so u decide to swim off towards the castle bc u overheard someone saying how pretty it is so u wanna see for yourself!!! 

bc ur kingdom is in the middle of the Ocean so you’ve never actually seen a castle. or Humans rlly. 

But you’ve heard about them! 

so you’re swimming 2 the castle when u hear someone singing ... and you’re like okay well im the only mermaid here so!! thats gotta be a HUMAN 

so u poke ur head out of the water but u dont .... see anyone? 

but u recognise the song they’re singing so once they’ve stopped u sing the next part of the song back 2 them ... hiding behind a rock so they dont see u O F C ! 

you’re not about 2 get urself caught pffff ! 

& u see a head poke out of one of the windows and ur like TIME TO GO! 

but not without gettin a glance of tht incredibly ,,, ,handsome face ,,, 

anyways this continues for like ! 3 days. u go to the same spot, hear the same beautiful boy singing & sing back 2 him when he stops . 

n he looks out of the window Every! Time! but you’re 2 quick for him 2 see you lol

but then u go back the 4th day ,,, n u hear music but no??? singing?? 

so u go a little closer n perch yourself on a rock tryin 2 get a closer listen, n u hear the most beautiful melody coming from the same room. 

and before u know it you’re humming along.

its not until a little while later tht u realise the music has stopped and ur just going along on ur own and u look up 2 see The Boy(tm)... 

in a white shirt with his sleeves rolled up n these dorky glasses (Y’all know the look im on abt  ..... That Look).

n you’re like .... GOTTA BLAST!!!!!!!! 🐠💨💨💨

n here’s the thing .... prince johnny cannOT stop thinking about u.... nd it was all a ruse ! 

obviously not in a Bad Way he just wanted 2 find out who was fINISHING HIS SONGS BEFORE HE GOT THE CHANCE 

n he didnt.... think you’d be tht beautiful ..... 

& he spots ur tail as ur escaping and he’s like ... HOLD ON A COTTON PICKIN MINUTE ! 

lucky for him ... it was Cupcake Collection Day(tm) for his good Mermaid Pal Taeyong 

so while taeyong is eating his cupcake .... johnny brings up The Topic 

“so uh,,, taeyong,,,  u know pretty much everyone in ur kingdom right???”

taeyong with a mouth full of cupcake: i guess 

“so uh there’s this.... person .... a merperson, if u will, and u Gotta help me find them” 

taeyong: “whats in it for me???”

johnny: “an extra cupcake” 

“make it 12″ 

“6.” 

“ok deal” 

so johnny tells taeyong abt this mermaid ,,,, a Beautiful mermaid with the most Beautiful voice 

“are u sure ur not talking about taeil?” 

“shut up im sure” 

so taeyong is like kk ill help u lol 

“taeyong u cant help him. they have 2 leave in like 2 days” - doyoung

“bUT HE LOVES THEM!!!!” - yuta 

“he hasn’t even met them!!!” 

“IT'S CALLED LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!” 

“that isnt a thing!” 

yuta pulls out a rose & hands it to taeyong “tell them it’s from johnny” 

“where did you even get that from?” - taeyong

“he just carries them around. it’s better not to ask” - johnny 

MEANWHILE you’re at a Boring Mermaid Council Meeting 

“ok listen ,,, we get that ur helping the humans by sabotaging the sirens but ... its gotta stop they’re goin 2 other kingdoms who have Enough Problems” 

and that subject peaks ur interest.

these ... mermaids are sabotaging sirens?? Lmao serves them RIGHT ! 

so after the meeting ,

like, later at night, u hear this off-key singing and you’re like ok what the F

and ofc u gotta check it out because what MerMoron is disgracing ur Entire people like that.

n there u see Merman Moon Taeil, a couple meters behind sirens, hangin out by boats tryin 2 Do Their Thing.

but they can’t because Merman Moon Taeil is singing ,, horribly out of tune and off-key and it Clicks. 

this is how they’re saving sailors lol. singing loudly and off-key to drown out the sirens song . its pretty smart. 

n this guy looks like he’s havin the Time of his Life, so u swim up behind him n join in. 

u 2 are havin a WHALE of a time , singing out of key n just absolutely ruining the sirens favourite pastime 

but then u spot one wander off n you’re like ..... well that’s not suspicious AT ALL 

so u Follow. and then you see this Lone Guy in a tiny boat and you’re like what kinda DUMBASS 

and u poke ur head up to get a look at the idiot that’s on his own & JUST UR LUCK its Cute Castle Guy. 

literally ur only thought is “is this boy actually 100% For Real what is he Doing” 

and u dont! Have time to start singing off key because he’s pretty much already Hooked on this sirens song so .... 

u straight up tackle the thing away from him. No1 is hurting ur Cute Castle Boy with the nice voice. Not on UR Watch .

n ur fightin with this thing for a Good Couple Minutes until it just hisses @ u and goes back 2 its own gang. 

“YEAH THATS RIGHT U RUN AWAY !!! n dONT COME BACK!!” - you until u realise u should Probably check to make sure the boat hasnt crashed or something.

He’s a bit dazed n confused and has No Idea what the Heck just happened

and johnny is so pretty u just kinda stare for a while until ur like Right i should probably ,,, like ,, make sure he doesnt Die.

so with all ur Mighty Mermaid Power u push his boat back 2 shore 

by which time he’s completely Mostly recovered 2 the point he can recognise u and he’s like 

“ITS U!” 

to which you, once again, gotta blast 🐠💨💨💨

but he , being Cute Clumsy Castle Idiot tries 2 be all dramatic and grabs ur arm , 

proceeding 2  FALL Out of his boat face first into wet sand with the occasional wave just .... rolling over him .

and you’re like .... really ??? Really now. Really .

*ur longest deepest sigh ever* 

“are you ok?” 

he holds 1 hand up and does the a-okay sign.

u cover ur mouth so he doesnt hear u LAUGH

he hears it. looks up. gives u that dUMB EMBARRASSED JOHNNY SMILE. (U know the one). 

 n you BLUSH because he’s so gosh Darn CUTE. even if he is an IDIOT. 

“i just wanted 2 make sure u were okay ...” he says in the Sweetest most Caring voice Ever and it makes ur heart melt BEcause .... .

“I COULD HAVE SWAM TO ANOTHER COUNTRY N UR JUST GONNA GRAB MY ARM LIKE THAT U COULD HAVE D I E D!!! I did Not just save u for you to DIE” 

that stupid dumb embarrassed johnny smile is STILL THERE and you’re trying to Convince yourself he is Not Cute Enough for ur poor heart 2 be Racing like This. 

“whatever ,,,,,,,,, im fine thank you” 

but he spots that nasty scratch on ur cheek courtesy of that stupid poor excuse for a sea witch n he .... puts his hand on ur cheek . 

and ur brain is Screaming at u GOTTA GO MY OWN WAY but u cant ... bring urself... to leave bc he’s LOOKING at u ,,,,  

OH Boy ,,,, 

he’s Really ,, Looking at u with those big concerned eyes and ur Poor Heart literally cannot cope like ... his hand is so ,, ,warm and 

even though all he’s done is move a piece of ur hair  ,,, and tucked it behind ur ear ,, 

you’re already feeling a lil bit better.

so instead ur like “pff whatever its just a Scratch” Because You! are One Tough Cookie 

adn u dont need this Beefy arm Boy lookin @ u like That.

“it looks really painful!! Wait here we have a first aid kit in the lifeguard hut!” 

you go 2 stop him but he’s already up and running so all u can do is like ,, roll ur eyes n Sigh & wait for him to come back

n he does and you’re like “Listen u really don’t need to do this im a mermaid we don’t feel pain.” 

he proceeds 2 dab a cotton pad 2 ur cheek & u hiss at him because 

“THAT HURTS !!!” 

“ok 1. i should have warned u its going to sting and 2. ur a LIAR one of the kennel dogs got overhyped & scratched doyoung by accident. he cried like a baby” 

you laugh n johnny thinks ,, its the most beautiful sound in the entire world. 

like he’s got 1 hand by ur cheek trying to clean ur battle wound but he’s just sO ,,, entranced by your laugh that he just , forgets what it was he was doing. 

“hey bud are you ok?” 

“YES! Yes , ,i am sorry i was just ,, where was I.” 

he’s LOOKING at u again and like , you’re honestly Just as lost as he is because ,, 

up close u can finally see his eyes and they are just. so pretty are humans Supposed ??? To be This Pretty?

& suddenly u realise Why humans make statues & paintings of Other Humans because like, wow they’re So Beautiful. 

is there a statue of this breathtaking boy sat in front of you out there somewhere? There should be. 

he clears his throat eventually and runs his hand thru his hair n does a little embarrassed laugh , 

“by the way um ,, did you get that rose ? From taeyong?”

and you’re like “uhhh,, the what from who now?” 

n he hits himself mentally bc DUH Doyoung said u were from another kingdom so like , maybe u never met them he doesn’t know so he’s just like “nevermind!!” 

and that’s when it hits u... You don’t even know Cute Castle Boy’s NAME.

BUT youre leaving soon so u figure it doesnt matter anyways :(

so you’re like uhhh i should ,,, go. thank u for ,,, this.

n he’s like !! wait idk ur name!!!!!

so you tell him,, n he repeats it & like

youve had Literal Ocean Royalty sing ur name to get ur attention but.

it doesnt even COMPARE to the way he says it.

and u tell urself that it doesnt matter. u need to Stop bc you are leaving there is Nothing u can do about it

and he’s about to tell you his name but. it’s just Better for u that you Dont know it and he stays as Cute Castle Guy

so before u can even hear him say his own name You Are Outta There bc!

no! attachments!

esp not to humans!

and johnny ,,, 

poor sweet johnny is just.dumbfounded and lost bc?

what. Just happened. 

the next day ,, Johnny plays his piano hoping that you’ll pop up and sing along to his playing, and when he realises that like,, you’re not gonna show up he just . his hands slump against the keys n he’s just ?

what did he do Wrong? 

eventually he has to meet taeyong 2 give him the cupcakes even though taeyong was No Help at All 

and johnny ends up eating most of them himself and taeyong is like ok buddy spill the beans whats wrong 

so johnny tells him abt you ,,, and that he Finally met u and you Saved Him! but u left before he could tell you his name n you didn’t show up to sing today and 

taeyong feels a lil guilty but He knows there’s not much he can do because like , you’re from a different kingdom ? Ur literally the future ruler ,, so he can’t try 2 convince u to stay. 

BUT You’re not actually Leaving until tomorrow so Maybe. he can convince u to see johnny before u go. 

so he’s like “leave it to me!!!” and finishes his cupcake before zooming off to find you.

but he has 2 find doyoung & taeil first because they need to come up with a Plan

& they find u sitting pretty in ur  little Clam Shell just ... looking Very? Confused and

suddenly the big Plan is out of the window because doyoung swims straight up to you, looks you in the eye and says, “our human friend is a Mess.” 

and you’re like ?? Who even Are you but then u recognise taeil behind him who’s waving at you and you’re like oh ok one of his weird friends.

and you’re like “anyways idk who you’re talking about” 

“our FRIEND. u saved him last night ! His name is-”

“DONT SAY IT I dont need 2 know his name!!!” 

and doyoung is getting a liiiiiittle annoyed because like, despite everything johnny is his FRIEND and he wants him 2 be happy!! so he just backs off and taeyong takes his place like ,

“listen. we’ve known him for a while now & he’s never talked about any1 like this before. n we know you’re leaving but he would rlly love to get the chance to talk 2 u.” 

and now you’re more confused than ever!! Because you’re leaving Really Soon and you don’t! need this! 

but he’s so cute ,,, and seeing that dumb smile of his one last time wouldn’t hurt, , right?

“ok fine tell him. i’ll be sittin on the rock by his window tomorrow at dawn, before i leave.” 

the 3 boys high five n taeyong secretly wonders if he’ll get more cupcakes for this.

The Next Morning at like ? 6am. you’re nervous as Hell. 

you really shouldn’t be doing this because its just going to make things worse for you And for him. 

but you’ll probably never see him again ? So, just 2 yknow, say it was nice to meet him and goodbye, u show up.

Also maybe get a cupcake ? because taeyong literally would not shut up about them and now you really want to try one. 

you show up. and johnny is already there , holding a rose 

(a nice one. not a fake one like the ones yuta carries around)

and he looks Super nervous and you’re also Really nervous but. 

you swim up to him anyway and poke his arm. 

which makes him jump 

and that embarrassed smile comes out again and you can literally feel your heart melting because god he is Adorable. 

and you’re starting to think this was a Really Bad Idea. 

but he looks at you and he hands you the rose, and you’re about to speak when he stops you, 

“I just. Wanted to say thank you for saving me. And the guys told me you’re leaving and that really sucks but I’m really happy you decided to see me again.”

and you just. for once in your life you’re speechless and you just stare at the rose he gave you and. eventually you just manage to stutter out a “you’re welcome” and 

you two are just staring at each other for what feels like Hours. and you’re pretty sure you could do it for a lot longer because he’s just so nice to look at. 

but before you know it, doyoung & taeil are behind you, and they’re like, “you gotta go, your dad is waiting for you.” 

and it feels like your heart is breaking because ! you dont wanna go! you wanna stay and you want to get to know Cute Castle Boy.

but you have a kingdom to rule over in the future. 

so you try not to look too sad as u look at johnny and give him a smile, 

and he cups ur cheek the same way he did the night before ,and he’s pulling you closer and before you know it his lips are on your cheek

and you’re Blushing like Crazy! !!!! because oh my god he just kissed you. 

he finally moves his hand from your cheek 2 your hands,

“my name is Johnny, by the way” 

Fuck.

you cant really do or say anything because you gotta leave Now. 

so you look back one last time before joining the boys and give him a little wave, and he waves back before watching you swim away. 

So, here’s the thing.

When you were a baby, a tiny little adventurous mermaid swimming along dolphins three times your size, 

you had accidentally gotten a little carried away and wandered outside of your kingdom barriers, 

lost and confused, you found a light which you followed into a cave, 

and there you met ur friendly neighbourhood sea witch. 

she hadn’t really been banished from your kingdom, mostly because she knew she wasn’t welcome so she just kept to herself. 

but she thought, hey! if i help the ruler’s kid get back to the kingdom, maybe they’ll realise im Not So Bad and accept me. 

so she takes you in, makes sure you’re safe, and helps you find your way back .

UR FATHER, however, freaks the hell out and starts going off about how,

“This wicked sea witch tried to KIDNAP my child! How dare you! You are Banished” 

so , the sea witch does what literally Every Other Disney Villain would do. 

she puts a curse on you before the king tosses her out on her ass.

This curse,  however. 

when you fall in love, you’ll turn into a human so you can’t Be with them. (because yknow everyone thought you’d fall in love with some Beautiful Mermaid Royalty) 

so while you’re swimming home,

taeil, doyoung and taeyong volunteering to be your escorts, making sure u get home safe and sound.

(you didnt really need them but those boys are Stubborn and also wanted 2 see what your kingdom looks like) 

but because they’re there you don’t really need to stay with ur dad; you’re old enough & ugly enough 2 take care of yourself and show your friends your favourite parts of the journey back

but suddenly you’re finding it really hard to breathe and swimming is Really difficult

and something is Horribly, horribly wrong. 

so you grab whatever you can which happens to be doyoung’s tail 

and he turns around like what the Hell. 

Oh, shit. 

he’s yelling for the other boys 2 help you and ur dad is too far ahead to hear whatever is going on.

so the boys take it upon themselves 2 save U. 

and they’re swimming back to the beach as fast as they can and they get to shore and luckily! 

Johnny is sitting there, looking out at the ocean wondering if he’ll ever see you again. 

and doyoung is just Yelling at him

“DO U HAVE TOWELS GET SOME TOWELS DO U KNOW CPR!!!!!!!!!!” 

so johnny has no idea what the Heck is going on but he runs to get towels, helps the boys wrap you up and take you to the lifeguard hut 

where johnny puts u on the sofa and he’s like , desperately trying 2 get u to wake up. doing cpr and whatever else he can .

like he has no idea whats going on but you’re here and you’re not breathing and he’s panicking because like, he can’t lose you??? He can’t. He Wont. 

and its been what seems like fOREVER but you’re finally! coughing up water and you can breathe again and you’re feeling Very lightheaded and dizzy but all you can really think about is. 

that Johnny’s face is hovering over yours and he looks like he’s about to throw up but then he sees your eyes open and he has Never 

felt this much relief in his Life! 

and before you can even Process what the hell is going on, he’s leaning in closer and you’re kind of trying to figure out what’s going on but! 

he already has his arms wrapped around you so tight, never ever wanting to let go because 

he could live with himself knowing you were out there, alive with the slightest chance of coming back to visit him 

but he would never be able to bear it if you were gone forever .

so he just keeps you in his arms for a Very Long time, whispering in ur ear how scared he was, that he thought he’d lost you. 

the other boys have left u alone, yuta and doyoung arguing outside

“i TOLD U love at first sight was real!”

“shut up yuta they almost DIED” 

“he saved them! he saved them with true loves first kiss” 

“he literally gave them cpr” 

but ignoring those 2 bickering.

u and Johnny are just. holding each other and. you can’t explain it but it feels Right that you’re with him

and he is just so happy that you’re alive and okay. 

and everything just feels like it’s falling into place. 

and before anything else happens you’re just . kissing him .

and he’s kissing you back.

and it all just feels so Perfect.