#idk let your freak flag fly

[chaoticmayocat]

I've finally bit the bullet and got a doctor's appointment up here to try and get an HRT prescription. I'm not backing down on it, even if someone tells me my health issues are a risk. I'm filing my name change over the summer. The world is not getting kinder. My transition will not get easier. There is no surrender if I want to stay honest about myself.

[sadaveniren]

🙄🙄

If that is what you got from me making a post where I joke about how actual society off of the Internet isn’t going to crucify me or harass me for enjoying something perceived weird, and thinking differently than the average person, all while staying in my own lane (and this isn’t even talking about me expressing that a lot of this is - probably - because of autism meaning my brain is LITERALLY WIRED DIFFERENTLY BUT THATS OKAY) I genuinely question your compassion for people who are different than you.

Like.

I honestly do worry how you handle meeting someone who’s just a bit different than you. You must be someone who immediately bullies someone you think is weird, even if they have done nothing to you except have fun.

[minkdelovely]

ptolemaea

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“i am no good nor evil, simply i am. and i have come to take what is mine.”

Nun!Alastor x Demon!Lucifer ; RadioApple ; MDNI 18+

tags/warnings: top!lucifer x bottom!alastor, alcohol consumption, accidental luci praise fic?, blasphemous debauchery, desecration of catholic imagery, smut (vague i know but if the previous tags haven’t scared you… 😂) also not a brag but i think i accidentally put my whole pussy into this idk what happened but here we are 🥂**didn’t implement tag list to avoid shocking y’all to death**

word count: 5.1k

author’s note: *natalie portman voice* i never said i was a role model. this companion piece (<- first part linked here) is dedicated to darling @hazelfoureyes who gave me courage to let my freak flag fly — please accept this as my humble offer of gratitude; it’s been an honor to workshop this idea with you 😭 totally get it if this crosses a line for some (please skip, i promise it’s okay lol) but i couldn’t be more excited to publish this. for anyone willing to join us on the yellow brick road to hell you are welcome to link arms 🙏🏻❤️‍🔥 theme inspo from ethel cain 🏚️ i also made a playlist for the party if you wanna check it out ✨

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Samhain was always a peculiar time for Lucifer.

Though he could come and go as he pleased between realms — with the exception of Heaven, of course — the thinning of the veil was the only time of year he could feel Earth from Hell. The energy of realms converging wallowed in the air heady as incense, enticing his powers to rest just under his skin. 

Or at least that’s how it felt. A not-unpleasant humming tension, aching to be released. It put him on edge, stirring him like a poker to hot coals as he fought to maintain his suave facade against the urge to succumb to the deeper power he normally held back with ease. It had never gone over well whenever Lucifer gave into the temptation… 

Except for the year he accidentally created a mound of rubber ducks. What a charming fascination that had turned out to be.

Normally he would make plans to visit with one of the other Sins or confine himself to his workshop to keep busy (use your imagination), but this year Charlie was hosting a party at the hotel. A costume party. He had no intention of dressing up (the fear that no one took him seriously enough as-is not completely unfounded), but he did find the practice endearing. Little mortals disguising themselves to hide from ghouls and demons. 

But he was Lucifer Morningstar, after all. Sinners and the like dressed up after him, not the other way around.

Exasperation pricked the king’s skin as Alastor suddenly came to mind, maintaining a perpetual state of unwelcome in Lucifer’s consciousness. He probably wouldn’t be dressing up either, the smug son-of-a-bitch. Every day is Halloween for that haunted sideshow, he thought bitterly with a laugh to himself, the sound echoing off the walls his only companion within the confines of the office — aside from the ever-present mass of ducks, of course.

The dilemma was still there when the laughter died though. Risk letting Charlie down by not dressing up and lumping himself in with Alastor by extension? Or don a costume and give the snarky demon and anyone else with a mocking eye the false impression of superiority? Lucifer groaned, running both hands through his bouffant platinum hair as he slumped forward at his desk. 

How had it come to this, needing to choose between love for his daughter or himself? Consumed by the current problem, he failed to recognize that this was an issue typically at hand, even when he lacked venom behind it. He was making good progress when it came to Charlie, but as they say, old habits die hard. There had to be a compromise somewhere…

A minute passed.

Head between his knees, his eyes shot open with the thrill of inspiration and he sprang from his chair, decision made. The familiar handsome smile graced his lips as he sauntered to his bedroom where an untouched suit awaited him in the armoire. He wasn’t the sin of Pride for nothing.

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Intersecting somewhere between Halloween and New Year's Eve, the newly-added ballroom of the hotel was decorated to the gills, not a single inch of it lacking in festive flair. Angel Dust scoffed when a DJ had been suggested and happily provided a playlist for the party, which was either really smart or really crazy. Or both. Only time would tell, but so far there had been no complaints.

Sinners were piling in, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the establishment. The cacophony of conversation, laughter, and music filled the space with a liveliness Charlie hoped would be a more permanent fixture at the hotel. She and Vaggie had taken charge of greeting everyone at the entrance of the ballroom, receiving some surprisingly sincere compliments on their Glinda and Elphaba costumes. Any derogatory laughter or smirks were being pointedly ignored, both women knowing full well that they looked incredible.

When Charlie spotted her father approaching in the crowd, her smile faltered briefly. “Dad! I thought I told you this was a costume party,” she said tentatively, looking back to give Vaggie a silent plead to keep up with the greetings before focusing her full attention on Lucifer.

“Oh, honey, you look fantastic! Pink really suits you,” he deflected, eyes and voice sparkling as he held Charlie’s arms out to admire the glittering gown, looking every bit the princess she was.

She drew back, not unkindly, when he released her and wrapped her arms around her ribs self-consciously. Groaning, “Dad…” 

It was quite impressive how she could admonish him with a single word without even meaning to. Must've gotten it from her mother, he thought absently, though Lilith wouldn’t know passive aggression if it slapped her on the ass. 

Thinking on his estranged wife, it was a true miracle how Charlie had blossomed into the compassionate and brave young woman standing before him. Lilith, never afraid to lead the charge; himself, too trepidatious to take the risk. Yet somehow their daughter seemed to embody the best of them both, reflecting parts of himself that he didn’t know where there.

He could have wept on the spot, suddenly fit to burst with affection for her — no doubt another side effect of the day — but the angel quickly refocused when he saw Charlie’s nervous expression toward him and leapt into damage control.

“Whaddya mean, I am dressed up!” he managed to answer with his usual charm. With one hand he pointed at his extended horns, a flicker of flame glowing between them adorned with his delicate serpent crown. The other hand swooped in front of his red suit with a flourish. “You’re telling me this doesn’t pass as a credible devil costume? You know, I actually held back. Thought maybe it’d be too scary for your guests if I went all out.”

If keeping his flame low and eyes neutral counted as holding back, and not just the ones in his skull. People got squeamish around him whenever the amass of eyes on his crown and wings appeared. He didn’t blame them.

Lucifer was rambling now, a nervous laugh the cherry on top of his need to save face. Though somewhat of a loophole, he had found the idea to be rather clever. Then again, he was trapped in an echo chamber of his own thoughts so most ideas naturally fell into that category. Was it really such a letdown? He could’ve bailed altogether, nerves already desperate for solitude, but he wanted to try for her. Even if it felt like two steps forward and one step back when it came to Charlie, he’d keep aiming to get it right for as long as she’d allow. 

“I actually think you look great,” Vaggie said smoothly, swooping in next to Charlie at the first break in the crowd. Lucifer would owe her for the rest of existence for the save. A debt he was more than happy to repay in whichever way pleased her best, making a mental note to discuss it later with the fellow angel. “It’s a lot better than what Alastor decided to show up in, anyhow.” The grimace on her face and in her tone was unmistakable. 

Alastor had fucked up.

It took all of Lucifer’s willpower to keep his magic in check at the delight that shot through him. The PR mess regarding what would equate to mass murder, regrettably, didn’t ping his radar. But the thought of needing to rebuild the ballroom was just taxing enough to keep the impulse at bay.

He was about to ask what Vaggie meant when Charlie stepped in, playing devil’s advocate as usual (no pun intended). What his precious, well-meaning daughter saw in that undeserving creep, he’d never understand.

“He’s just getting into the spirit! You have to admit, it’s nice to see him mingling for once, he’s usually so—”

“Grotesque?” Lucifer offered.

“Conniving?” Vaggie added.

“Reclusive!” Charlie practically screamed, earning looks from a few demons within earshot. “Look, I won’t say that what he picked out isn’t… surprising, but I’m just really happy to see him join in on the fun. He’s been enjoying himself so far, so I want you guys on best behavior, all right?” 

She said you guys but made solid eye contact with her father. Despite wanting to protest, Lucifer understood he was already off to a shaky start and conceded with a sigh, covered quickly with a debonair grin. Charlie didn’t know what a particularly big ask it was to be on best behavior tonight, but that was his burden to bear.

“Of course, sweetie, you have nothing to worry about! There are so many sinners here I doubt we’ll even run into each other.”

Famous last words.

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Lucifer tried to enjoy himself, he really did. 

In the brief moments before his eyes found Alastor in the crowd, it had actually been a wonderful time. He was immediately awash in the admiration of his subjects, even managing to make some poor creature faint with a simple grin in their direction — though he had really laid on the charm with that one. Could he be blamed though? After ten millennia of habit, calling it compulsive would be an understatement. 

Moments like this were a reminder of why it was good to get out of his office every now and then. Whether it was compliments on his look, praise for the fight with Adam, or outright solicitation for sex, Lucifer drank it all in; beaming as the crowd awed at the sight of fully extended wings he could no longer keep to himself. He really was the shit, wasn’t he? Being worshipped is truly unlike anything else, but it’s something to experience, not explain. All he knew was that he adored it. 

It had been a devastatingly short-lived escape, the proverbial looming gray cloud — never too far away — returning as Lucifer’s gaze fell on Alastor. He had been scanning for the bar and stumbled on an atrocity instead. Just his luck. 

The costume was a shocking choice to be sure, one that Lucifer might have even appreciated had it been on literally anyone else. But something about it on Alastor was simply… perverse. Leaving him with the struggle of trying to decide if it was the costume that was the issue or its inhabitant.

Was it the way the habit — embellished with red stitches on each side and the Cross of Saint Peter in the center — framed Alastor’s face, ears and horns still exposed with just a tuft of bang peaking out across his forehead? The pure white wimple that glowed like a beacon against the stark black surrounding it, casting an unusual grace upon the slender neck and broad shoulders underneath? Or how the tunic flattered the swell of his chest, the taper of his thin waist accentuated by the fabric swirling about his hips that flowed down over long, lean legs?

The demon, draped languidly over the bar, was chatting with Husker; the look on their faces was the most relaxed and natural Lucifer had ever seen exchanged between the pair, borderline flirtatious. Whatever the bartender said made Alastor toss his head back with a laugh, the exuberant sound of it piercing the angel’s chest like an arrow. How he had even managed to hear it so clearly over the music and the crowd was a miracle, or perhaps curse was more accurate. Still, the easygoing look on Alastor’s face as he came down from the laugh was bewitching, accented by a boozy flush and mischievous, heavy red eyes.

Insufferable.

The Radio Demon was in top form tonight, confidence radiating from him with such a forceful ease that the king could feel it even from his place across the room. He hadn’t noticed the literal sparks flying out of the pads of his fingers until he brought his hands up to tug at the collar of his shirt, which suddenly felt too tight. Fuck.

Taking it all in, Lucifer could feel the heat rising reluctantly in his face as he was consumed by a baffling mixture of lust and loathing.

All because Alastor decided to be a blasphemous piece of shit, he seethed, scowling as he narrowed his eyes at the sinner in question. Eerie, arrogant, pompous, constant pain-in-the-ass Alastor, riling him up like this? Lucifer had considered it number one on his list of impossibilities, caught completely off-guard by the rush of desire — if he had to put a word on it — for the ghoulish prick. An impulse he had never entertained nor wanted to feel in regard to the demon, but was there all the same.

“Samhain,” Lucifer cursed under his breath. The flame between his horns intensified, eyes prickling with the threat to change color. He took a breath, remembering Charlie. 

Best behavior. 

It was about as helpful as a bandaid over a bullet wound. This had to be a joke; a cruel, tasteless joke meant to provoke him specifically. Like he hadn’t suffered enough of those already in his long, long existence.

That was the only conclusion the angel could come to from his table near the bar, practically burning alive in his chair as he watched Alastor strutting around the ballroom in between breaks from the dance floor. Lucifer really had almost set himself on fire after catching Alastor in the middle of a sultry dance move with one of the guests, a rolling of hips he didn’t think Alastor was even capable of doing, let alone inflict upon someone. It took a double shot to mellow out when he found himself wondering what it would be like to switch places with that guest, though it did little to quell the growing ache coiling low in his abdomen.

There was a lull in the music and the crowd disbursed, quickly filling the empty space around the angel. Lucifer exhaled, somewhere between a groan and a laugh. Alastor had finally managed to dip out of his line of sight — not that the demon was forcing Lucifer to look — and the reprieve couldn’t have come at a better time; the solace of his absence coming over the angel like poultice to a throbbing wound. Despite being a couple drinks in now, the tension in his body was a ticking bomb. He needed the opportunity to try and decompress before he accidentally wrought havoc upon the denizens invited here by his daughter.

For at least the tenth time he entertained the idea of going back up to his room, if only to release some of the punishing energy pulsating through him, but he wasn’t confident that he’d return. The only thing holding him back was the promise he made to Charlie to be present and well behaved. And so, he remained committed to the confinement of the table he’d been bonded to for the last hour.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

In hoping to keep as much distance as possible Lucifer had unwittingly tipped Alastor off, landing the problem he was hoping to evade right in his lap. So to speak.

He always forgot that the demon could travel through shadow until it was too late. It’s just that he didn’t care to remember, not wanting to give Alastor even the tiniest bit of permanent space in his mind. Something he was actually too oblivious to realize he was already doing; they both were.

Alastor had of course noticed when Lucifer entered the room. Whether he wanted to was another thing entirely. Though it was to be expected, what with the dregs of Hell no doubt encountering royalty for the first time. Thankfully he had been at the bar with Husker, his captive bartender providing a welcome distraction with a joke about how his drink was going to cost a few Hail Marys. There were reasons Alastor kept him around, after all, beyond the obvious. Surly as he was, Husk had the capacity to be quite funny when the mood struck. He wasn’t on the clock tonight, but he was the only one Alastor trusted to pour his drinks. 

He could feel the glare beating down on him from that moment on, focused on him wherever he went. So he laid it on, making rounds and fluffing up the guests who were all too eager to devour his attention. It had been especially fun seeing the quick shock of flame in the corner after he showed off a risqué dance move, all for his majesty’s entertainment of course. If the spotlight was going to be forced on him, why not perform? But after an hour the joke was growing stale, and so the demon came to the conclusion that he’d have to be the one to bridge the gap.

Lucifer jumped at the shock of Alastor’s melodic voice coming from behind him, transmuting the glass in his hand into a duck without meaning to with a pop; amber-colored liquor swirling around within the confines of its new shape. Lucifer couldn’t decide what pissed him off more, the jump scare or the magic trick. The not-so-secret third option being Alastor’s proximity to himself, the heat from their bodies mingling in the small space between them.  

“Fuck! You know, you’ve got a lot of nerve sneaking up on me like that. I’m liable to make it a killing offense,” Lucifer sneered, tossing a napkin over his new little creation before anyone else could notice it. “And I haven’t been admiring you. I’m just, uh, keeping an eye on things! Besides, a king shouldn’t mingle with the general population. Might give off the wrong impression.” 

Sealed with crossed arms and a smug, toothy grin, it would’ve made for a decent enough comeback had it not been for the slip up. 

A dear old friend to Alastor, the slip up.

The expression on his face sharpened with a malicious instinctual ease as an idea unfurled in his mind. Lucifer was so obviously perturbed by him, the attempt he made at concealing it was almost endearing in a pathetic way. Though he was always in a pathetic way to Alastor, dark gums revealed in his ominous smile as his scheme took shape. He leaned in low, lips nearly grazing the angel’s skin as he spoke; his ear twitched at the catch of Lucifer’s breath from the action. He was so fucking obvious.

How humiliating.

“Is that so? Well, if you’re merely killing time here, might I suggest a bit of… sport?”

Lucifer flinched, pulling his face away to glare up at him. He couldn’t be insinuating what the angel thought he was, could he? It would be a bold — deadly — move even under normal circumstances. And tonight was anything but normal. 

Something was clearly in the air for Alastor too, if the fraternizing Lucifer had witnessed for the past hour was any indication (not realizing he had been the cause). He was known to have a flirtatiousness about him when he drank, but there was a different edge to it this evening. Lucifer was beginning to wonder if the costume was fueling his narcissism. Obscene.

“Well, your majesty?” Alastor goaded, radio filter frazzling as he leered down. To Lucifer’s chagrin, bedroom eyes looked good on him, the rotten bitch. “If not, I’m more than happy to leave you to your sulking.”

That was a lie and they both knew it, the tension so charged between them the air might combust at any second. Given the king’s proneness to accidents tonight (and the literal open flame above his head) it wasn’t an impossibility. 

As they locked eyes, some silent declaration was sent, though neither had received the same message. Or perhaps they did and therein was the problem, dooming them to be forever caught in this stubborn battle of wills. 

Lucifer tried — and failed — to ignore the portion of himself that, apparently, had been eager for the opportunity. He could give in… if only to set some boundaries on who was always the winner in this pissing contest. The smoky trace of whiskey lingering on Alastor’s breath caused Lucifer’s nails to dig into the flesh of his palm, golden pinpricks of blood rising in the wake. 

A proposition now effectively ratified. 

The Body and the Blood…

How sentimental.

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“Haaahh…! Mmmnn — ahh!”

“Fuck…”

It started off as a joke like so many things do when you’re scared shitless of vulnerability.

An insult here, a dare to chase it. Contemptuous eyes poorly concealing the desire simmering underneath. An angry meeting of mouths, all tongue and teeth and claws. The clattering of miscellaneous items being recklessly swiped off a table.

Glass shattering. 

More insults.

A bite to the lip drawing blood, tangled breath filling in the needy gaps awaiting any touch they could get. The first shared moan ringing in ears before scorching its way down, stoking the molten ache roiling in the gut, desperate to envelop them both and leave nothing but frayed nerves behind. 

Caressing, pulling, gripping, grinding, biting…

The party supply room was hot, air humid with sweaty musk and the steam of heaving breaths, the sounds of the party resonating on the other side of the wall. Inside were hisses through clenched teeth, groans of ecstasy; slick skin coming together then pulling away with the magnitude of storm-heavy waves crashing and receding on the shore.

The tunic covering Alastor’s torso did little to comfort him, stripped as he felt. In fact, the habit was still on too, the only piece of clothing torn from him being the wimple in order to free the expanse of his neck. Lucifer had spent quite a bit of time there, marking it well with harsh love bites and languid strokes of his forked tongue.

He was laid out beneath the angel, open mouthed and florid, vaguely coherent as his king fucked him senseless; seemingly determined to conquer the demon as wholly as possible. A task at which he was succeeding, if he hadn’t done so already; though to be fair he had never stood a chance against Lucifer. Not tonight.

Alastor hadn’t spoken a proper word in minutes, reduced to communicating through moans, groans, and sharp intakes of breath. Quite the accomplishment considering he was such an articulate fellow. 

Lucifer didn’t know it yet, but he would be haunted by the memory of seeing Alastor’s eyes roll to the back of his head once he found the pace he was currently keeping; deep and steady, just fast enough to stay ahead of the desperation that was never too far behind.

So tight…

The demon almost looked sweet, splayed out below him like this, lost in the throes of pleasure. It was a nice change considering the sneer that normally painted his face. But seeing him like this, brows knit and face flushed, the tuft of bang soaked into his forehead…

In this moment, Lucifer truly felt like a God.

He certainly looked like he could be, his demon form fully unleashed. He always felt such relief in this state. It was exhausting holding himself back, and not just today. Something he did all the time, not out of concern or ease for others, but because he had difficulty grappling with his station. Not that he’d give it up — hell no. But the burden of leadership was exactly that. Lilith had known it too, all too happy to take the reins until she wasn’t. He’d been happy to let her… until he wasn’t.

Maybe it was the melding properties of Samhain surging through him, but he could swear he felt a shifting. What good did it do for him to hide himself away? There was actually plenty of proof to the contrary. Why should he hold himself back? He was Lucifer Morningstar. Hell was his domain, and all its inhabitants needed a reminder that he was to be revered.

The Radio Demon could be their martyr.

Why else had he offered himself up like one? And the image suited him well.

“I showed the Nazareth all the kingdoms of the world before they crucified him. What do you see, Alastor?” Lucifer growled, voice thick and smug with authority. He leaned down to nip and lick at the skin of Alastor’s open jaw, still whipping his hips at a relentless pace. 

Even with eyes closed — too much effort, they were so heavy to keep open — Alastor could see him perfectly, the image of Lucifer seared into his mind. Eyes. Glowing red eyes to match the flame roaring between his fully formed horns and the apple that topped his serpent crown like a sparkling ruby. Leering, all-seeing eyes on seraphim’s wings. 

A fanged grin so self-satisfied it was like looking directly into the sun. 

A God.

It burned him to admit it.

But the wanton moan that tore through Alastor’s chest pierced the room, coming on so quickly he never stood a chance at restraining it. The words spilling from Lucifer’s mouth in deep rumbles threatened to unravel the meager hold Alastor had left on his dignity. Absent claws bit into the flesh of the demon’s thighs as the angel momentarily hitched from the way Alastor clenched around him, hot and greedy as if needing to milk him for all he was worth.

The king let out a husky laugh in response, latching onto a particularly enticing patch of Alastor’s neck where it met the shoulder; reveling again in the salty musk that coated his tongue before biting down, filling his mouth with the satisfying taste of iron.

Alastor opened his mouth in a soundless plead, his mouth and throat dry from exertion. Impossible as it seemed, tears pricked at the corner of his eyes; his painfully hard and untouched dick throbbed, weeping against his stomach and into the fabric of the tunic. It was too much… He was too full, too surrounded, too helpless.

Consuming. 

Yes, that’s what it felt like. 

He had never been on the opposite side of it before. 

And despite it all, he could feel his orgasm pooling low in his belly, balls painfully full and tight. That gnawing tension yearning for relief as Lucifer’s thick arousal punished his spongy core. Once the angel pulled away from his neck, Alastor couldn’t help but reach down to touch himself, so in need of climax he didn’t care what it took to get it.

Lucifer roared at the sight, cock twitching as his own release threatened to spill, but managed to hold it back. Delicious as this was to witness, he couldn’t let Alastor get to the finish line just yet; his pointed tail coming around to snatch the demon’s hand away as he pulled out, exhaling with a strained grunt.

The sudden absence of both sensations left Alastor to writhe in frustrated ache, practically sobbing through gritted teeth at the loss, which Lucifer mercifully tried to soothe with languid kisses and nips to the demon’s inner thigh. He wasn’t a completely unfeeling Lord, after all.

He just needed one last thing before letting them both attain the high they so desperately wanted, his eyes shifting back from radiant flame to red and yellow with a blink as he wrapped his hand around Alastor’s angry, dripping length. It wouldn’t be long now, the poor creature was so hard and wet to the touch.

Alastor cried out, regaining some semblance of himself as he unconsciously bucked into Lucifer’s unmoving hand; his mouth made a sticky sound as he swallowed hard, moisture finally returning to his parched throat. 

“Luci…fer… please — I can’t…!” Alastor practically tore the words out between heaving breaths, tears burning his skin as the shame of needing to beg deepened his rosy blush to an intense red. 

He hadn’t expected the demon to beat him to the punch, unable to fight the grin of victory painting his lips as his eyes resumed their fearsome glow. Benevolently rewarding Alastor with a few firm strokes, he relished the lewd, wet sound of it joining the chorus of his subject’s carnal whimpers. Lucifer bent down and flattened his tongue, giving a slow wide lick to Alastor’s leaking cock from base to head, finishing with an obscene slurp. How could he possibly have denied himself such a precious offering? 

A pleased hum rumbled in Lucifer’s chest when Alastor slung an arm over his face, gossamer strings of spit between his lips as he shuddered, “Oh god… fuck…”

That would work. 

Lucifer buried himself back into Alastor’s enticing heat, continuing his ministrations as his hips set a slow pace. A mewling groan spilled from the demon’s mouth, hips rolling to meet each of the angel’s thrusts. Lucifer’s peak was quickly approaching, too lost in the divine feeling of Alastor’s body surrounding him, already lamenting the thought of being finished.

“You poor thing… Did I fuck all the attitude out of you?” the angel taunted, golden blood dripping down the side of his mouth from the force of his smile.

No longer capable of holding it back, the orgasm crashed through Alastor with the force of an avalanche, heart threatening to burst through his chest; the sound of its rapid pounding nearly drowning out his own scream of rapture. He spasmed so tightly that the king had to still himself, the grip on him almost painful. Hot, thick cum shot onto the demon’s stomach and Lucifer’s hand in gratifying spurts as he stroked him through his high, desperate for every drop he could wring out.

Inspired by the mess in front of him, the angel pulled out and brought one of Alastor’s hands to him, guiding him until he felt life twitch back into the demon’s fingers. The grasp was a little too harsh, Alastor perhaps using this as a chance for revenge if the look in his eye was any indication, but it didn’t matter. Nothing could take this conquest from him. It wasn’t long before Lucifer was rutting into the demon’s hand, groaning through clenched teeth as his face twisted up before spilling himself into Alastor’s palm.

Lucifer gave himself a moment to revel in the bliss of their debauchery before cleaning them up with a snap of his fingers. He was too worn out to put more effort into it than that, and hey, got the job done, didn’t it?

They were still trying to catch their breath when they finally locked eyes, the post-coital sobriety already at work. Alastor’s ears flattened as he glared at the angel, a rare grimace on his lips.

“No one knows about this. Understood?” he threatened, the static crackling in the air around him.

“Ha! Who do you think you’re talking to? Now I know I fucked you stupid.”

Their fistfight didn’t last long, but provided a great cover for their absence when they stumbled back to the bar in desperate need of a strong drink.

So much for best behavior…

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

“How did you do it by the way, the last temptation of Christ?” Alastor couldn’t believe he was asking, the bitterness clear in his voice, but he figured it might be his only chance to find out without seeming too curious.

It took Lucifer a second to process the question, an easy smile spreading across his face. “Oh what, showing Jesus the world? I just whipped out a map*.”

Insufferable.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧     ✧     ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

ps: don’t worry, alastor was prepped before getting railed lol it just happened off screen 🫠

*biblically accurate if you can believe

[evilejfan]

In light of recent events regarding the unpleasantness that Franco fans have been subjected to, I will say this much:

LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY YOU BEAUTIFUL WANKERS!

I have been given guff for years for the ugly fictional characters I have fallen for. It never slowed my momentum or changed my mind. It's all good, it's all for fun and none of it is real. Not to say that I wouldn't try if it was... I'm leering at you, Coyle... 😳

Look, IDK if anyone will even take the time to read this but lemme make it clear. People are going to judge you. It doesn't matter who you love or what you like, folks are crap. Trolls are trolls. Don't feed them and don't let them steal your sunshine. And remember that you are loved, and respected and I am in your corner cheering on your freaky fascination with the big head man-baby. Suck that pacy and let him sit on your lap. He wants to call you mommy/daddy and nobody should get in the middle of that.

[iridessence]

How are you so confident? Your pics give the the "I'M FABULOUS AND I KNOW IT" vibe without being fake... you know... a lot of times in pics you can see who is fake confident even of they try to fake it well.

You're GLOWING and you give this great positive vibe.

How did you achieve this? I'm asking this because I'm not confident at all. At home when I'm alone I can be confident but as soon as I go out I stop being confident. At home in my mirror I look ok, average but ok. When I see my reflection outside I'm horrified by my looks and I look like the ugliest person on the planet.

When I talk people usually don't understand me well due being so stressed sometimes I talk too fast or too quiet and they're like "what???"

I think talking too fast comes because people usually interrupt me. I'm introvert and people have always talked over me since I was a kid. So I feel like I need to get it all out before I get interrupted

Other times I don't speak too fast or too quiet but words just can't come out and I struggle to even form a sentence. For 5, 10, 15 seconds I would struggle to find the right words. And when you talk to a boss or a co-worker those 5, 10, 15 seconds last sooooo long that it seems to me like I have been quiet for 10 minutes.

I also cry quickly and I struggle with this. I can't top myself and it's very unprofessional to cry in front of my boss or co-workers that later on make fun of me even more.

Can I become more confident myself?

Or do I need a shrink for my problems (or psychiatrist english is not my first language so idk which word to use)

When I see confident women like you I'm like I CAN DO IT... but this "I can do it" just lasts till I don't step out of my apartment.

Hi, thank you for reaching out. Identifying your issue and seeking help is a very important step, so you’re already on the path! Some of what you asked is addressed in my pinned post, but I have some other thoughts.

These are tough things to deal with and work on – there are so many factors that contribute to struggling and it sounds like you deal with anxiety. It might not be to the same extent, but I struggle with that as well. Something that helped me was reframing confidence and related issues under its umbrella: it’s a muscle, which means it will take time to build but it can be built. And some people have muscles that are naturally suited towards certain things while others might have to work really hard at it; you may be in the latter category but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible!

Therapy certainly helps, but one of the other big things is trying to find community and surround yourself with people who support your personal goals and for whom you can do the same. People that say “hell yeah, wear/do/say the thing!” This may seem hard and counterintuitive to achieve for a person with anxiety, but even online community can be a huge help. Finding those people who have similar interests who are kind and supportive can help you to build confidence before branching out to locals as well. Soon you’ll find your people 

Location makes a huge difference too. I definitely dressed up quite a bit in Chicago where I’m from but I felt sometimes like an alien on the street with how some people received me. Moving to New Orleans, when I’m dressed up it’s just Wednesday. Sure, I turn heads and people take pictures and often people inquire about or comment on my style, but still there’s a sense of creativity and letting your freak flag fly in this city that really feels liberating. But sadly relocating is a huge to-do.

Leaning into what you love is super important— making sure that what you do/say/wear is ultimately for YOUR enjoyment is a key foundation to build on.

One of the great things you’re doing great already is looking at yourself in the mirror. You’ve gotta do it every day. Try talking to yourself in the mirror too, practicing ways you might introduce yourself, etc. These are all different ways you can exercise that muscle so that it doesn’t feel so strange when you’re out in social interactions.

The biggest thing with all of these is just time and taking steps to care for your mental health and growth. It’s hard but it’s worth it, and I wish you the best of luck! 

[atopvisenyashill]

9, 10, 19, 22 🙃

9. worst part of canon

hmmmmmm. while i will say the lack of dothraki/essosi povs is probably worse narratively, i do at least understand why he chose to build the narrative that way (even tho i think the narrative he’s building ultimately suffers for this choice). dead ladies club just pisses me off. why is everyone dying in childbirth. why is the name of ned’s mom not relevant. why did the oldest dayne have to be a man. why do we have no idea when shaera daena daenaera died. george i’m in your fucking walls.

10. worst part of fanon

again it’s just objectively the insane arya stans or the targnation people bc they make their illiteracy everyone else’s problem and have on more than one occasion dogpiled on random artists for *checks notes* drawing a character with a skin color darker than FFFFFF. does anyone know the story of the butch that got got by the french resistance in wwii for being a nazi, or that one lesbian that was friends with hitler? that’s what these people are and it’s not an ~annoying fandom quirk~ it’s just naked bigotry.

if we’re talking “annoying but not problematic” tbh for MOI it’s the king jon truthers, i just can’t take any of it seriously when he’s denied winterfell and a lordship for himself more than once, doesn’t like leading, and is bad at it when he tries! ntm i just don’t feel like it’s narratively satisfying if one (1) targ ends up winning and the other two die. i need all three of them nowhere near the throne at the ending to be happy!!!!

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

hmmmmm. i definitely didn’t think i’d get so hardcore into parent/child incest when i started this blog i’ll tell you wHat. especially when in my humble opinion people get way too into incest ships and act like they’re oppressed for it ajsjs like idk perhaps that is the destiel shipper in me but i’ve spent so long in fandoms where people would be like “if you can’t see anna/elsa lesbianism you’re homophobic” they’re sisters EYE am not the freak here and that’s fine let your freak flag fly but be REAL aksjsj. and now i’m like “stop yelling at me for saying alicent’s sons want to fuck their mom when i’m right” lol. and also having spent so many years going “why do you guys think jonerys is romantic that’s his AUNT” turns out i can get into targcest when it doesn’t involve dany (bc i just don’t think it adds anything to her story!! what she just uncritically follows in the footsteps of her ancestors and the practice which helped abuse and subjugate women in her family forever and fucks her nephews?? for what for WHY)

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

we all know what it is babeeeeee

i also do feel like there’s a distinct lack of smallfolk stans like people will pay lip service but when it actually comes to smallfolk characters it’s all “oh i think davos is boring” “oh i don’t see the point of bringing gendry back into arya’s story” “oh i hate hugh/ulf” “oh robb’s campaign is against a vile evil it’s fine if he marched over some poors” “well mirri murdered a baby so” i’ve even seen “dunk is boring” IS THERE A GAS LEAK IN EVERYONES HOUSES COLLECTIVELY. WHAT HAPPENED TO EAT THE RICH HUH??

[yourdaddyfigure]

Followed you for the filth but stayed for the wholesomeness.

I adore the kinky posts, the dom posts, the after care posts, the big difference of being rough but also being a proper lover to your partner. I love the dog posts, the person posts, the banter with mutuals, the cute emojis, the tags, the community you got going with people feeling comfortable to be themselves and letting their freak flag fly.

Followed for the boundaries you set to not take advantage of those who follow you. The wisdom. The opinions. The blocking minors and keeping the nsfw for the nsfw-only people.

Followed for the craft, like you're some random text (Idk i see posts as texts sometimes) and notification about something so naughty which makes me giggle and feel all baby girl and shit AHAHA.

But most importantly, followed because you're the type of person blog I and people like me need in their lives. The rightful tease, not overwhelmingly kinky or disgustingly sexual beep of notification every now and then just gives you (me) that kind of 'it's okay to be a sexual person, to be a freak in the head, while still maintaining your sense of being a human being — beautifully flawed with the right dash of wholesomeness ♥

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

hello side of tumblr that's really into werewolves. I have a question for you.

i also really like werewolves. enough so that i am writing a book with them. it's a paranormal romance with a dash of smut here and there. so the question i have:

is the knotting thing a given? like, is it something that's just expected to happen for the average reader?

bc i don't particularly want to write it, but i can. i'll just do a deep dive of the free werewolf erotica i can find online and keep note of the common consistencies

(knotting doesn't squick me or anything, btw. just. i'm adhd. I would literally die if i had to stay stuck like that for longer than five minutes. idk, i guess it seems like it would be boring. and uncomfortable if you're the one being penetrated. i'm rambling, sorry. just didn't want anyone to think i was kink-shaming. you do you and let your freak flag fly, etc.)

[msmargaretmurry]

idk if you’re still doing the fanfic title ask thing but if you are, mattdrai + neutral zone

i feel like this would be a sweet, funny little story where they have their bye weeks at the same time and coincidentally wind up on vacation at the same resort. big romcommy vibes. more of a @bropunzeling style joint than my own usual style, but i would do my best 😂

obviously leon's there with connor, third-wheeling with him and lauren, since they're coming straight from the all-star game. matthew, also coming straight from the asg, is flying in to meet up with some friends — maybe brady's bye week was before the asg, but robby thomas, or some florida pals, or whoever are there. mostly i just want him to be free of familial obligations so that he can let his freak flag fly.

anyway, the all-star weekend was good for everyone involved — let's say this is set this coming year, so no one was thrilled about going to cold toronto and losing out on three extra days of real vacation, not like florida, which was basically just extra vacation, but it was fun enough. neither the pacific or the atlantic won; none of our main cast here became the main character of the weekend, but there were some fun moments. matthew and leon didn't really talk during the asw, didn't really talk during last year's asw (although, to be fair, matthew was very busy playing host last year), because the thing is, they don't really have any reason to interact now that they're not in the same division.

leon didn't think he'd miss it, but he kind of misses it. the battle of alberta isn't nearly as exciting now. matthew pissed him off a lot when they were younger, yeah, but he has always been fun to play against. the 2020 asg was the first time they ever had a real conversation and it wasn't a big thing or anything, but it was kind of a turning point in the somewhat one-sided animosity, and by the time the 2022 playoffs rolled around, they had developed this kind of almost-friendly (slightly flirty?) respect. matthew still pissed him off on the ice, yeah, but they had some laughs, too, at faceoff circles, between whistles. leon started to believe the people that said, well, if he was on your team you'd love him.

and then matthew got himself traded to florida, built himself a happy new life there, became the main character of the nhl, etc. leon's not not happy for him, but maybe, when he thinks about it in certain moods, he does prickle a little at how easily matthew left the alberta of it all behind.

meanwhile matthew figures they were all just glad to be rid of him. he's been having a great time in florida. a great enough time that it's mostly healed the sting of how his last season in calgary ended and how frustrating his career there was sometimes. there was a time in his life when he would have really, really liked for leon draisaitl to like him, but he's totally past that now.

anyway, due to a series of somewhat comedic near-misses at the airport, they don't realize they're going to the same place until they get onto the plane and they're all in first class: matthew, leon, connor, lauren. everyone's like uhhhhh ?? but matthew makes a joke, retreats to his seat behind them, puts his headphones on, doesn't make conversation except to charm the flight attendants. when they land, connor asks him where he's headed, if he wants to share their cab. matthew politely declines. he's not trying to be anti-social, he's just not trying to intrude on someone else's vacation.

but, of course, the resort isn't huge. it takes, like, a day for matthew's group to run into leon again — at the tiki bar on the beach, where leon is loitering even though lauren and connor are down by the water, because he's feeling particularly third wheel-y today. matthew had the right idea, finding a whole group to glom onto after the asg. all this to say, he's kind of relieved to see other people he kind of knows, even if it all feels a little awkward. but hey, they're on vacation. everyone can be friends here.

cue a beachy vacation montage of drinking and laughing and playing volleyball on the beach and splashing into the water — leon (and often connor and lauren — i feel like there are other wags around with matthew's group of friends) gets kind of folded into the group, and here on vacation away from all the hockey stuff, past rivalries, etc, it turns out that they just kind of click. they're both super competitive, even about dumb things like beach volleyball — but that's fun when the stakes are low, when they're on the same team. matthew's always checking in to make sure leon's having a good time if he's hanging with them while connor and lauren are off doing coupley things — he's always making sure everyone's having a good time, really, and leon starts to really get why his teammates in florida talk about him the way they do. leon is surprisingly funny and surprisingly affectionate when he doesn't want to kill you, and matthew keeps getting that old familiar feeling that he'd really like for leon to like him.

it's only like two days in when they get tipsy and hook up, which is probably a good thing, because it's so mind-bogglingly hot that if they'd held out until the end of the week and just did it once at the end, they would have both gone a little crazy not getting to do it again right away. cue all sorts of sneaking off to have all sorts of gross, sweaty vacation sex, and maybe getting a little obsessed with each other in the process.

the last night of the trip, the whole combined group of them has a big dinner on the beach and everyone just hangs out until late, long after the sun goes down. matthew and leon keep not-so-subtly making eyes at each other, trying to gauge when they're gonna sneak off to go wreck each other, but matthew is also a little in his head about this being the last day of vacation, because he's 100% sure this is gonna be a "what happened in bye week stays in bye week" situation, which is how it should be, anything else would be too complicated and make no sense, but he knows that despite knowing all that logically, it's gonna do a number on him to fly home alone after this whirlwind — whatever it is, with leon, so at some point he disappears, and after a while leon finds him sitting down by the water a little ways away, looking out at the ocean.

leon goes to sit with him. kisses his shoulder, but doesn't try to make conversation. he kind of thinks he knows what matthew's thinking, but it takes him a while to figure out what to say about it in a way that won't be too embarrassing if he's wrong. eventually he settles on, "we should do this again sometime."

matthew looks over, surprised. "you'd want to?"

leon shrugs. "i mean. it's been fun, right?"

and then they make out on the beach, and then they go back to one of their rooms and have sex, and then shower sex, and then morning sex, all of it increasingly clingy in a way they will not discuss until, like, sexcation #4 at least, but leon does kiss matthew's cheek when they part ways at the airport later, and matthew's friends tease him mercilessly about it for the rest of the day.

[thenickgirl]

feeling a lil risky but....what if i never had a sexual thought abt the sturniolo triplets (my mind does drift but it always ends up cockblocking me)

idk should i let the freak flag fly................

wait are you from the other side? 👮🏾🚨 are you turning in your badge? 😭

obviously i say let the freak flag fly, but honestly do whatever makes you comfortable. it’s perfectly okay if you don’t have those feelings or thoughts about them!

[mothball-munson]

What I want for you

I hope that even on hard days your able to find the little things that make you smile. I hope something makes you laugh, and someone makes you feel special.

I want you to love what you do, and know that others also love what you do. Be creative and cater to what makes you happy rather than trying to please the masses.

I want you to surround yourself with people you love and can trust and love you for you and all your little quirks. Be authentically you because thats what people love! I will always love and appreciate when your full personality shines through with no shame on what others are going to think! personally I think thats when were at our best. Let the freak flag fly for my fellow weirdos and to those who are nothing but sweet, compassionate and deserve the world! Dont let bitter little buttheads get to you.

I want you all to know I adore you all dearly, all as individuals and for what makes you, you. So if you ever have one of those days you think others dont like you..just know this crazy bitch here does! right here! ME im crazy bitch!

I am always more than happy to tell someone whats great about them and the reasons your loved. Let me boost your ego a little!

Know Im here for you and I can always be pulled out of hiding for those I care about <3

@wistfulwisteriawitch @littledemondani @trashmouth-richie @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @eddieschains @succubusmunson @ryan-waddell11 @prettyboyeddiemunson @likedovesinthewnd @andvys @mcplestreet @eiightysixbaby and anyone else who's username idk

Now that ive tagged most of you, you have to deal with me shoving my love down your throat before I likely go ghost again.

[quietbluejay]

Pharos 3

lol there we go, classic primarch description sanguinius: don't yell at people for things that are your own fault!!

given the sheer number of times he's leeroy jenkinsed it you'd think someone would notice well i bet thiel noticed but i guess no one really sticks around long enough guilliman: where is lion??? sanguinius: idk somewhere else not doing his job

guilliman also doesn't really respect sanguinius, huh he's willing to do the forms of it (BARELY) but that's all meanwhile sanguinius is freaking out at this whole emperor business

yeah, that's something i'm not willing to call guilliman ooc but he's dancing on the edge guilliman: over the last few months i've noticed that you seem to possibly not be liking this whole emperor thing sanguinius, who has been waving giant flags saying "STOP IT": perhaps

"…but don't push me" guilliman apologizes

so is that why you didn't apologize to Lorgar?

guilliman also won't let sanguinius lead the relief force or come with guilliman: i gotta have vengeance, it's personal with Curze dude just be honest with yourself about just wanting sanguinius to stand there and look pretty and distract people while you have all the real power

YES THANK YOU so sanguinius tells him to be careful

I CACKLED here in my apartment as a montage of events filled my head set to Tubthumping

i like this guy

lmaoo "are you certain they can't hit us from here?" "almost certain" "that doesn't inspire confidence"

;-; aww the mechanicus dude and his dying charge

and that's the sin of despair in a nutshell

the greatest lie ironically, seeds of the modern imperium

O W O man that was an idiot move skraivok "you swear you're not lying to me" "yes" I'm facepalming

man these two are some kind of mess

I hope he's not wearing white

you know, from this segment about sanguinius flying (and the feather stuff), i'm pretty sure i know at least a few of the books Haley was into as a teenager

sdkfhsdf

i dunno, some people seem to enjoy it

yeah i'm standing by my sanguinius vibe, it was right on he's a specific type of 20something Catholic girlie

if there's one thing all the primarchs have in common, it's some sense of drama

corvo: are we taking steps to damnation by travelling through the warp so this is the guy who founds the novamarines i am guessing given some stuff that got said earlier and i dunno anything about them except for what showed up in plague wars and apparently they have a bad rep? ooof the cavalry suffers a critical delay i am getting why people like curze i guess just abnett's version is kind of wet rat but not in a fun way and i just had flashbacks to the "making out with an ipad" scene why must it haunt me

interesting scry vs scry

sanguinius and curze are getting to see the HD version of their fight without it happening

there we go avenging beancounter and lmao he's right on about guilliman

well he's wrong there lmao

this is fun curze is doing a classic "taking a few data points and twisting the rest to say what he wants" and meanwhile sanguinius is well, full drinking the kool aid

congratulations buddy that's the worst anyone's done it

i know i've made this joke before w.r.t. the emperor trying to act for the good of all and I'll make it again!

curze: checkmate imperialists even on guilliman's fantasy planet there's still a criminal underclass

[w3ath3r-0f-sw34t3rz]

as many ttpd thoughts as i can coherently write down

first of all grateful for the folklore x midnights x 1989/rep sound we have going on here. i hate comparing artists but seriously the best way i can explain it is phoebe bridgers this album sounds like phoebe bridgers. not like it's a bad thing it's phoebe fucking bridgers!!!

i feel like it's so easy to call music "intimate," whether because of lyrics that feel personal or just a certain raw sound, or whatever else, but this album truly is the most intimate thing i think taylor's ever given us. i don't know what sets it apart, cuz at this point she's written plenty of deeply personal lyrics, but the way i best know how to describe it is that it truly feels like she trusts us.

anyway i'm willing to admit that this album isn't a spectacle or a revolution or game changer, and i know it won't satisfy everyone (ngl i'm scared to see what everyone else is saying bc they'll never understand Like I Do) but damn it sometimes that much is more than enough. without further adieu

fortnight a solid vibe. i'd literally love any song with the lyric "i love you it's ruining my life"

ttpd love that lucy and jack cameo that's about it. but really who else is gonna hold you

mbobhft AUGGGHHH THAT HOOK. you'd think you'd be able to tell which tracks are entirely self-written but you'd never guess some of the best tracks would you? jokes on me. love the metaphor (as i tend to do), big fan of infantilizing men (no like actually)

down bad this song was not clicking at first but it won me over with the alien abduction theme

so long london aw fuck yeah i knew i was right to claim this one. that hook is delectable. every verse is like a juicy kiss on the mouth i love this song yOU SWORE THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT WHERE WERE THE CLU

but daddy i love him this was the point where i thought to myself "wow this album is a lot more romantic than i would've thought" which, in hindsight, idk if that can be the consensus but still--this is such a feel good happy lovely time

fresh out the slammer evermore would love this one. yee haw

florida i mean there was really no way for this song to be bad and damn. twas not. this is a screamer fs. how on earth they managed to make a song about fucking florida feel like this mysterious shady world that we the people are not apart of is astounding to me

guilty as sin yas girl let your freak flag fly!!! successor to false god fr

who's afraid of little old me oh. o,h my god. taylor. taylor r u good honey. this song is fucking batshit wild oh my god YES GIRL TELL EM i will never be the same i could end the california drought with these tear ducks holy shit im gonna go set something on fire

i can fix him i love this bc this is literally my best friend and now they're gonna know how they look. that "woah maybe i can't" both absolutely slaps and is hilarious. also love how horny that bridge was yas girl let your freak flag fly!!

loml oh god. lmao my ass rlly thought this album wasn't gonna be too depressing. they had me in the first half ngl. i'm not crying you're crying nahhh we're both crying and you know it. the lyrics here really popped off, like more than the rest of the album and that's saying something. bonus i remember seeing someone theorize that it was actually gonna be "loss of my life" instead of love, and while i was listening i had that in the back of my mind, but then i was like "ok no it's actually love" but then THEY WERE RIGHT and i felt so accomplished for no good reason. so if ur that person who called it, good job brother

i can do it with a broken heart this one shocks me so good oml why is this making me wanna throw it back. with all do respect if you didn't want us to enjoy your suffering why did you make your suffering such a bop. /j that "i'm miserable and nobody knows!! :D" gives me chills but like in a good way. "try and come for my job" literally get it queen i love you

smallest man who ever lived it's quite funny to me that literally nobody was claiming this track and then it permanently altered my brain chemistry. back at it with the hooks damn. wow this one really. this one is really sticking with me guys

the alchemy yay the vibes are back!!!! sweet simple romance you gotta love it

clara bow you had me at that intro. shove that guitar down my throat if u will. this is the better version of the lucky one (im not sorry.) damn "you look like Taylor Swift in this light" gets me every time i'm sorry that will never not hit

the black dog OLD HABITS DIE SCREAAAAAMMMIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i did not expect to like this one as much as i do but i can't stop thinking about it

imgonnagetyouback i had really mixed feelings but i literally can't dislike this song it's straight up good (also this song is so gorgeous-coded its wild)

the albatross idk i just love this one it is so sweet to me. in the way molasses is sweet but still

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus this melody has wriggled its way into the few folds of my brain and i don't see it leaving soon. i love me some good whimsy. fr as i'm listening to it again rn i'm realizing how good this production is. anyways bi rights

how did it end? you know................... i was really trying to not tie her real life into any of these songs, since i really don't know that much lore + i'm not a big fan of obsessing over celebrities personal lives--relationships most of all (especially when it comes to taylor)--in general, but damn i immediately did just that with this song and.. wow. but aside from all of that oh my god welcome back to Songs On This Album That Absolutely Haunt Me

so high school this one's kinda crazy bc damn it's such a taylor swift song but the sound is so new to her and it kind of makes me cry. but anyhow "touch me while your bros play grand theft auto" is the funniest fucking line i have ever heard in my life

i hate it here oh wow hahhahahhahahahha taylor what the fuck :3 imagine relating to this song on an cosmic level lmfaooooo

thank you aimee removing from irl context, putting this song next to mean genuinely makes me want to cry. like the maturity and growth both happy and sad is so evident it's like watching my child graduate

i look in people's windows another stellar string hook thank you and goodbye. ok but fr the visual here is inherently funny

the prophecy claiming this one for the neurodivergents

cassandra yeah yeah drama i know but damnnnn greek mythology BANGER

peter *taking notes* never... trust.. a man.. named..... peter.........

the bolter she's a runner she's a track star (can you tell i've run out of things to say it's just a good fucking album)

robin ohohoho i am an absolute SLUT for a good ode to childhood

the manuscript now that's a story

and at last--my current rankings:

who's afraid of little old me?

so long, london

how did it end?

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

the smallest man who ever lived

florida!!!

clara bow

the alchemy

loml

i can do it with a broken heart

the albatross

my boy only breaks his favorite toys

i look in people's windows

cassandra

fortnight

i hate it here

the black dog

but daddy i love him

thanK you aIMee

the bolter

guilty as sin?

robin

i can fix him (no really i can)

the prophecy

peter

the manuscript

so high school

fresh out the slammer

the tortured poets department

imgonnagetyouback

down bad

now i know being critical is not one of my specialties but seriously it's a solid album ok. midnights is literally my baby and it has a skip for me so

now naturally my enthusiasm for each song will potentially decrease and most certainly increase over time cuz that's how i process albums buttttttt yuh 👍

almost any other artist building an entire persona about being an emo poet would make me roll my eyes but damn it she's so right

[mcl38]

going off his post from when he announced his extension as ceo, most people who dislike him seem to claim it's either because he's american and shouldn't be involved in european motorsport (which is already wild considering f1 is an international competition and not a european one), like this is an exact word-for-word critism that i saw more than one person use. or they're australian and feel that zak/the team unfairly favor lando at the expense of aussie drivers. just look at any mclaren affiliated social media after the australian gp. i personally think both are pretty irrational excuses and like don't get me wrong, i am all for people hating for the purpose of being a hater but if you're going to try to justify your hatred with reasons at least find one based in some sort of logic. or even reality.

anon a person after my own heart i too love hating for the purpose of being a hater but this isnt that, its a more widespread and vitriolic fandom phenomenon that clearly different from, say, me hating on clement novalak bc his eyebrows freak me out, ykwim?

i do think his obnoxious americanism is kind of hard to swallow and thats fair if u find him annoying but it rly doesnt explain to me y ppl immediately label him a villain? maybe bc he has that rich man in a black and white hollywood movie vibe abt him or smth but like surely its smth more serious than that. idk i think its just the american salesman core of it all... he's slimy and slippery and persuasive and he does it VERY well

also like i do think the idea that he mistreats oscar is frankly silly - mostly bc oscar keeps yapping on and on abt how much he likes having a team where hes finally wanted and appreciated, but also bc its clear zak loves the guy. i think ur right in that i do think some ppl think that: i keep seeing ppl on twitter saying that the fact that lando has done a couple factory debriefs that oscar wasnt there for means they clearly favour lando. but like.... if i were renowned introvert oscar piastri i would WAY prefer not having to fly 12h to speak in front of a crowd and instead be allowed to spend another couple days w my family in melbourne. like bffr please

also also can i just say re: team orders bc i think thats the other reason ppl think oscar is mistreated - do ppl not realise that last week oscar literally got the priority strategy? they helped cover him against russell instead of helping lando cover against leclerc, which is how lando ended up losing second place - he wouldve kept it if he'd pit on lap 9 with charles or even maybe lap 10 just after him (if the oscar pitstop was unplanned). and also, in general, lando and oscar often end up on diff strategies where lando shows up behind oscar with fresher tyres (and hence has to b let by w team orders) because lando is better at managing tyre wear. thats y he often gets the stay long - overcut strat (germany situation beloved), whereas oscar is often on the undercut - defend strat, and they'll often meet in the middle. the fact that we get these kinds of strategy team orders is GOOD. it means the team has enough faith in both drivers' skills to give them diff strategies and trust them both to execute them well. it also means the drivers r next to each other on track - id take lando team-order-passing oscar any day over lando blue-flag-passing daniel.... oof.

sorry a defense of zak brown turned into a defense of randy singh but like im just saying that the idea that the entirety of mclaren hates and mistreats oscar is rly quite laughable if ur actually engaged in the strategy game or like if u have eyes idk. im very very glad that oscar has become kind of a people's princess character and ppl rly do seem to universally love him but i find it so infuriating that they have to do so at the expense of mclaren. if u wanna find an enemy to hate on behalf of oscar carlos sainz is literally right there

[girltober]

Shout out to my normie friends who got tumblr just to follow this blog, I'm actually so happy to have y'alls support it warms my heart ❤️

I do feel mildly embarrassed about some of the spicy tmi I've been posting lmao I didn't count on so many of the normies actually caring enough to snoop.

That said, in for a penny in for a pound! Who wants to hear about my Girl Treat?

My #girltreat for being a good brave girl arrived today and its a $200 surgical steel buttplug thats sooo classy and shockingly weighty I love it. I then immediately dropped it in the shower and scuffed it in 3 places 😭😭😭

Irl friends, I know you don't know how tumblr works, but if this is the kind of post you DON'T want to see then I would recommend going into your account settings and working out how to block the tag "girl month nsft" lmao.

But Idk if you don't mind reading it then tbh I don't really mind sharing this stuff. Honestly it feels good to let my freak flag fly so openly and proudly - I've been bottling my weirdo shit up a looong time lmao.

To the friends who are excited to take me to the local gay bar to suck some dick... I'll see you saturday night 😊

(Oh also, not to be a karma whore, but if you enjoy my posts, you can press the heart button to "Like" them. It feels nice to get feedback and know I'm not just monologuing into the void lmao. Also helps me not repeat stuff you already know when we're having in person convos)

[lavender-teardroplettes]

Read your nsfw alphabet and lowkey feel like I know way too much about you now lol. But fr tho would you ever consider making a vn with Si as a character?

I do be letting my freak flag fly. u3u I'm kinda an open book cuz what's the point of feeling ashamed about yourself if you're being consensual, safe, and not hurting anyone?

But, no I haven't really thought about doing that. Idk who'd really be interested in seeing Si in a game or what I'd even do with him. ovo