#idk there’s probs more points I could present and I don’t think this is a problem with one person

[roostertuftart]

I hate the people who needlessly villainize Kyle but I am also not loving what feels like a general insistence that Kyle’s intentions must be perfectly pure and he can’t have any selfish/problematic thoughts or behaviour and his anger can never be misplaced

[notiddygxthgf]

𝟎

★ pairings: suguru geto x satoru gojo, satosugu

★ synopsis: Suguru Geto struggles with letting people in after leaving a three-year-long abusive relationship. Enter Satoru Gojo, the boy who doesn't seem to take no for an answer.

★ c.w.: slow burn, mutual pining, explicit sexual content, dub con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, mahito is a real abusive asshole, past relationship(s), past abuse, recovery, hurt, comfort, vent fic, based on my shitty ex, my therapist told me it'd be a good idea idk, im a good writer I swear, brought to u by the bch who wrote best friend's brother!choso, sexual tension, new love, fluff, angst, smutt, graphic, psychological trauma, theres a happy ending in here I swear, angst with a happy ending, psychological trauma, PTSD, idiots in love, sexy smut I swear.

★ a/n: NGL I kinda hate how this turned out. but! it had to be done! I had to get it out of the way. the way I think this is gonna work is past flashbacks first, present time next. it's gonna prob alternative between the two for a while. comment your thoughts! let me hear u! feel free to slander mahito... he plays the shitty ex.

★ w.c.; 3.4k

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐔 𝐍 𝐅 𝐎 𝐑 𝐓 𝐔 𝐍 𝐀 𝐓 𝐄    𝐀 𝐈 𝐋 𝐌 𝐄 𝐍 𝐓

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

PROLOGUE

2019. MONTH UNKNOWN.

I WAS ONLY 12 YEARS OLD the first time I tried to kill myself. In retrospect, I can’t possibly imagine what could have been so important to little me that he firmly believed he would rather die than live without it. I wish I could say that I had a difficult life. That simply was not the case. I grew up with two loving parents and a kind brother, in a small town where every friend I’d ever had was within a mile of me at any given point in time. We weren’t rich, but we most certainly weren’t poor. I had everything a child could ask for and so much more.

Again, I wish that I could say I had a difficult life, but that simply was not the case. 

It’s just that I’ve had these… thoughts for as long as I can remember. An unfortunate ailment, if you will. No matter what I did, there always seemed to be something missing. Something I felt I would spend my whole life searching for – or at least trying to supplement.

At 12 years old, I planned my first attempt.

It didn’t work.

So, now, faced with the unbearable burden of deciding what I was going to do for the rest of my life, I chose to pursue a childhood dream of mine. I wanted to go to school to become a doctor. I didn’t know what kind, per se, but I knew that I wanted to heal. 

Maybe I thought, I don’t know… that if I healed enough people, I may have been rid of the ailment – healed, myself.

So I left my small town, enrolling in an academy 30 minutes away from the house. I got into their Healthcare program. Again, what more could a kid want?

Yet the void inside of me only grew larger, more ravenous. I lost touch with all of my small town friends – one by one. I had no one.

But I was pursuing my passion, right? Why wasn’t it enough?

It was in that godforsaken academy that I met him.  

“Pick a card,” he asked me. His grey eyes were so sharp, even then. “Any card.”

I glanced down at the fanned-out deck in his pale hand, eyes crawling over the many different suits and shapes before eventually settling on an ace. I pulled the card out. 

Ace of spades. I tried to memorize it. I also, coincidentally, tried my best to ignore the incessant thrum of my racing heartbeat against my veins, my arteries, my chest. He was sitting so close to me.

It was just the two of us in the hallway. Just me and him and the infinite space between us, the small gap between my right shoulder and his left. 

I handed it back to him. “What are you doing?” I asked.

He slipped the card back into the deck without looking. He shuffled it once, twice, three times. Made a bridge with his hands and let the cards fall back into place. I watched with a remarkable sense of interest.

“Is this your card?” He tucked a stray blue hair behind his ear, producing a card.

I furrowed my brows, about to say something, when I noticed something off about the card. It was different. Where there once was a large blue spade, there now was a small, torn piece of lined paper taped to the surface. The gray lettering on the handwritten note read,

WILL U GO OUT W/ ME?

My eyes went as wide as saucers. My mouth lolled open, lips shaped around his cursed name, “Mahito, I…” 

I thought of my parents. I thought of my religious father. What would he say? What would he say if he found out his 14-year-old son was a homosexual?

I thought of my parents, and I bit my lip, “I don’t know if I can… I don’t know. What if my dad finds out?”

Mahito tucked the deck of cards neatly into the pocket of his black cargo pants. His hoodie was rolled up to his elbows, revealing intricate stick-and-poke linework over his forearms. He shrugged, humming, “Who says he has to?”

The tardy bell rang. We were late for first period.

My mouth opened by itself again. At fourteen, I wasn’t so sure I was ready to lie to my father about something so serious. Not yet.

Seemingly sensing my hesitance, Mahito laid a hand on my stiff shoulder. “Hey,” he muttered softly. “Think about it. Give me your answer after school, yeah? We’ll meet here at 3:30.”

And then he slipped away with a quiet, ‘See ya’.

Without confirmation.

In his absence, I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.

2019 February.

Mahito ran away from home two weeks into our relationship. Ran away without so much as a notice or a warning. Ran away and left me there to assume the worst. He didn’t live in the best area. Perhaps he was staying with a friend? If not, was he dead in a ditch somewhere?

There was no way to tell.

He could have at least told me, I had thought. Then again, would I have tried to stop him? Undoubtedly.

They issued a missing persons alert the day after he didn’t show up. I remember seeing the poster all over my social media, all over the streetlights and posts. 

It didn’t seem real. Even as I held the missing poster in my trembling hand, I remember feeling numb. I remember feeling as if this were all some sort of cruel prank, that he would be back just in time for our after-school walk with a smile on his face.

 But there he was, smiling up at me from the page in my hand. 

MISSING PERSON: MAHITO 

Height: 5’8

Weight: 150

Eye color: gray

Hair color: blue

Remarkable features: tattoos on arms

Last seen: February 14th.

I crumpled the piece of paper up, tossing it across my messy bedroom with a sigh. I hadn’t slept last night, and I wouldn’t have slept tonight either.

I sunk into myself, curled into a ball on my twin-sized mattress – the same one I’d had for as long as I could remember – and cried. I was utterly inconsolable. I cried until my voice was hoarse, until there were no more tears left to cry.

Until my phone buzzed.

I assumed it was another homework notification. I didn’t check. What did it matter? In my eyes, my world had stopped spinning. It had stopped the moment he ran away.

But it buzzed again, and again.

It was then that I realized I was getting a call. Begrudgingly, I picked my phone up off of the bed. I turned it over. The screen was lit up with the words ‘NO CALLER ID’. 

I wanted to hang up. Desperately. Wanted to save myself a shred of peace and dignity and move on with my night – in hindsight, I probably should have just hung up when I had the chance. But, no, I felt something in my gut call out to me.

Against my better judgment, I answered, “Hello?”

The line crackled. “Suguru?”

Suguru. 

My heart leapt up into my throat. With wide eyes, I answered again, “Who’s this?”

“Suguru, it’s me, Mahito,” He sighed with relief, like he hadn’t expected me to pick up. Truth be told, I hadn’t expected it either. “I’m sorry I couldn’t call you sooner, my love. I’m calling you from a phone booth right now.”

My love. The nickname sounded like honey coming from his lips, but I knew it was laced with venom. Still, as would seem to be the trend, I was weak for it. 

My eyes began to water again, somehow. “Where are you?”

I knew better than to call him ‘baby’. Not when my father was sleeping in the room next to mine. 

“I can’t tell you that right now,” He answered. Of course, he couldn’t. There always seemed to be something he was hiding from me. I didn’t see it that way back then. “Look, I don’t have much time to talk, I–”

“I’ve been worried sick about you, Mahi,” I spoke again. I felt numb. So numb. “Please, just–”

“I stole ten grand from my mom,” He cut me off. “I’m running away from home. The abuse, it’s just– I can’t. I can’t, anymore.”

His mother was a real piece of shit. I knew that. She never wanted Mahito, not as a single mother. So she tried multiple times to be rid of him – beating him senseless with hangers and wires and even going so far as to attempt to poison him on his birthday. 

Still, ten grand was a lot of money.

Stolen.

“I’m on the run from the cops, I– I think they’re trying to find me,” He panted into the microphone. “You can’t tell anyone, okay? You gotta lie for me.”

I felt sick. Sick to my fucking stomach.

“I’m sorry, I…” I trailed off, holding back vomit. “Hold on.”

I ran to the bathroom and promptly emptied the contents of my stomach into the sink. I had just eaten mac and cheese an hour or so ago, and the vomit was tinted yellow. I could still see a few noodles here and there, only partially digested.

It made me want to hurl again.

“You okay?” he asked me.

“Am I– No, I’m not fucking okay, Mahito! First, you run away without–” I had to swallow bile a second time. I felt it burn as it slid back down my throat. “You could have fucking warned me , or something, and now you’re calling me at eleven at night to tell me you’re fleeing the fucking cops?”

He paused. “I know,” he said. “I know, I’m sorry. You know I love you.”

And immediately, like some sort of magic trick, I felt my exterior soften. I didn’t even care that we were only a few weeks into our relationship. He was my first. It was like he knew the effect he had on me. 

“Suguru,” he said again. “I love you.”

His words were like honey. I took a spoonful.

“I love you, too,” I sighed into the receiver. 

“You’ll keep quiet about this for me, right?”

I was weak for him, as always.

“Okay,” I said.

I found myself sitting at my desk in the middle of the day, struggling to concentrate on the lesson. The classmates at my table – more like a group of desks placed together – were talking about the missing boy.

My missing boy.

They were talking to me, actually, but I had long since tuned them out. It was all a blur for me – a blur of faces and voices and words I didn’t want to hear. 

“He’s a freak,” The boy across from me, Choso Kamo, remarked. “If I were you, I’d break things off before it’s too late.”

Choso’s critical words sent a sharp pang right through my rotten heart. 

“Exactly,” My friend, Shoko, chimed in. She was a pretty thing, about a few inches shorter than me with brown hair up to her chin. She always looked so tired . I wonder if she recognized that I felt the same. “He’s got some serious issues. Guys like that rarely make for healthy relationships.”

Choso leaned in, leaned over the desk to offer more of his thoughts, “You can’t just ignore the fact that more people are catchin’ on, either. What if your dad finds out? You know he thinks that… kind of stuff is wrong.”

Choso was Shoko’s friend. He wasn’t homophobic. A little misguided, but he had the spirit. Hell if he weren’t a raging heterosexual, I might have even gone for him instead. He had that look I liked – sleepy, downturned, dark eyes framed by messy bangs. He never wore colors. He was content to make a statement in black. Black eyeliner, black shirt, black doc martens, black hair done up into two messy pigtails. 

It was his signature look.

Our classmates didn’t take too kindly to ‘emos’ like him, though. He was an outcast. Hell, we all were. That’s why we sat together, after all.

The harsh opinions of my classmates threatened to erode my self assurance. I knew people were talking – people always talked. I knew the hushed whispers of my name as I walked past people and cliques in the mornings on my way to class weren’t a hallucination. 

I knew I had to stand by my boyfriend. I knew I had to stand by Mahito, but the weight of their disapproval put a strain on my shoulders. Does anyone want to hear that their friends don’t approve of their partner?

Admittedly, he wasn’t a very good partner. He had demonstrated that much in the first few weeks of our relationship. I knew he wasn’t good for me, but, fuck, I wanted to try. I wanted to make things work so badly that I ached for it. Everyone else knew he wasn’t good for me, too. 

But, fuck, was I naive to wish I could prove them all wrong?

In my eyes, he was only misunderstood. The ghosting, the red flags, the alarming behavior… I could see past it all because I loved him. My first love. No one understood him the way I did. How could I blame them for their concerns?

It didn’t matter how many voices I had in my ear telling me it was wrong. Soon, he would come home to me, and I would feel his skin against my cheek as I hugged him hello. That’s all that mattered.

How could that be wrong?

“It’s not wrong. How could it be?” I kept my gaze trained on my desk. My vision was blurry, unfocused. My mind felt numb and detached. I muttered. “I love him. He loves me, too. He told me he did.”

He did.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Choso and Shoko exchange a dubious look. 

They didn’t understand him the way I did.

“He told me he loved me,” I repeated the words like a mantra, like a reminder to myself that I was fighting for something. 

That as long as I was loved by him, I would be okay. 

He called again that night. Earlier, this time, at nine o’clock. 

I was in the shower at that time, curled up on the floor, sobbing into my arms. The water streamed past my shoulders, my arms, my nose. I glanced over at the screen through blurry eyes. 

NO CALLER ID.

I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath.

Then, I let the call ring.

Current Day. 

[12:13 PM]

[Automated]: you have 3 new messages. Play back?

[USER] Selected:

[NO] ...

... [View Inbox]

...

[ Last 6 Years ].

[REPLAY>>] Message from 'Blocked Number'.

Transcription:

" Suguru, this is me, Mahito. I don’t know if you can hear me or not– I don’t know if anyone can hear you or not, so please use headphones, or something, I don’t know. I just wanted to call and make sure you’re okay. I’m gonna try and call you later. Right now you seem to not be answering your phone for some reason. Doesn’t matter, though. I’m not in a really good place, right now, I’m… surrounded by a lot of people. So, um.. I just wanted to say that I love you, and I’ll call you a little bit later, okay? Bye– kisses…….”  

[End of Transcription] 

[Automated]: Would you like to play the next message?

[ Yes. ]

“ Suguru, is this– this is me, Mahito. Um.. I just wanted to say that I’m okay. Nothing has happened to me yet. I’m perfectly safe. I’m in a laundromat somewhere. And, uh, I said I love you… I don’t know why you’re not answering my calls… You know that I always try to text you whenever I can– and try to… call you, but… I don’t know, maybe you’re too depressed, or some shit. Maybe you’re mad at me. I understand. I– what I did was wrong, I… What I did was idiotic, and what I did was stupid, and shitty… And I understand if you’re mad at me and you don’t wanna answer my calls. So, yeah, I gues… I’ll try to call you again tomorrow. 

If you’re hearing this voicemail, but you probably won’t, um… I just want you to know that I love you. And I’m trying to do my best just… to see you again. You like pizza, don’t you? How about we do a pizza date sometime, yeah? Somewhere around next week, maybe. Huh? How about that? Sounds cool, right? Yeah, yeah it does. Um, anyway, I… gotta… I gotta go. I have to… do some things. Uh… uh… at least I love you. 

And, I– I might not have brought much with me, but I have the little stuffie that you gave me. It’s in my book bag. Not gonna take it out because people are gonna know what my things look like. I’m always gonna keep these memories close to my heart. I don’t care what anybody says. Even if I go to prison, I’m taking this shit with me. Alright? Um, I guess that’s it. And… last thing? I love you. 

Please, answer me. If you’re calling, that means you actually care, but if you don’t, then… it’s fine. Don’t recall this number. I’m not gonna respond. This is just some random guy’s phone. Okay? Um… I love you, and please stay safe. Please don’t worry, I’m still alive. I miss you. Okay, bye, I love you.”

 [End of Voicemails Received on February 18th, 2019].

[Automated]: Would you like to replay the messages?

[ No. ]

[ Delete ] > [ All messages from {Blocked Number}] 

[Automated]: Are you sure?

[Yes]

[Automated]: Deleting all messages from {Blocked Number}.

THE WIND BLEW IN HEAVY from below, sending a plethora of leaves flying out in all directions. As I knelt down to test the current with my fingers, my boots sank deeper into the muddy riverside.

I sat on the bench in front of the riverbed. Wiping my fingers dry on the fabric of my denim jeans, I took a moment to take in my surroundings. The park was mostly empty, save for a few teenagers

The water always looked pretty this time of year. For a few moments, you stood there drinking in the sight of it.

In the present, I sat alone in front of the serene lake, surrounded by the picturesque beauty of nature. Lush green trees lined the shore, their leaves rustling in the gentle breeze. The scent of damp earth and the distant call of birds created a peaceful atmosphere, contrasting with the turmoil in my mind.

I watched as groups of carefree teenagers ran around, their laughter and joy a stark contrast to the heavy weight I carried in my heart. A deep sigh escaped my lips as I averted my gaze towards the shimmering water.

I wished for the water to possess the power to cleanse me, to wash away the burdens that weighed on my soul. 

The sound of the water rushing past was almost deafening, drowning out the laughter of the teenagers. It consumed my thoughts, leaving me with an overwhelming feeling of dread and isolation. I yearned for the water to offer solace, as if it held the key to absolution and a fresh start, but it remained an unsettling reminder of my own inner turmoil.

I had a vision every time I came here for some peace of mind. It was the same vision every single time. It plagued me every time I found myself in front of the water. It was an image of me, standing at the water's edge, and then, with a deep sense of despair, throwing myself into it, sinking into the abyss and drowning.

As I sat there, the scenery around me seemed to blur, and the vision of my drowning self played on a loop in my mind, a relentless nightmare that I couldn't escape. The lake, which should have been a source of tranquility, had become a symbol of my pain and a relentless reminder of my inner struggles.

It seemed to call to me. I could almost hear the wind carry my name.

Suguru.

The water always looked pretty this time of year. I sat there watching it for a moment too long, wondering what it would feel like to be enveloped by the cold current, to feel it wash me away. 

And, again, the sound of the current grew louder. Deafening. Consuming me.

a/n: l comment and lmk what u think pookiesss

comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

I obviously do not own jjk or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

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wanna join the taglist?| mlol; chapter index

[httpiastri]

hehe so ever since you talked about college au!pepe i’ve been… doing a lot little thinking (maybe like everyday since) so im gonna give you something to read bc YOU MADE ME THINK ABOUT IT 🫵 now you have to deal with me. hopefully this gives you some inspoooo and a lil smth to think about bc i had way too much fun just thinking ab it LOLL

FIRST OFF ure so right with sebas, chris and pepe being college besties!!! like i think instead of living in dorms, they’d definitely share an apartment together jdbdjfjdjf i tried thinking about who gets to choose the furniture and decos in said apartment but i feel like they’d be giggling at everything they see at ikea, and they’d bicker about whose choices are better so apartment decor shopping takes wayyyy longer than necessary with these 3 and in the end they probs made a google form of their choices (like couches, lamps, dining table…), make their families vote and just buy whatever the families’ top picks are 😭

and somehow, pepe SCREAMS insane pining to me. hear me out… this man is career focused. not interested in anything besides his studies, he lowkey struck me as someone who would want to be a little bit more stable on his feet before he thinks about a relationship? especially with his newfound freedom of moving away from home to live with his best friends too. sure, the thought of having a girlfriend in college doesn’t puts him off or anything but it’s not something he actively seeks either ??? it’s nice and all but he thinks spending his time studying, hanging out with sebas and chris and his other friends, and going back home to visit his family during breaks is just as nice, if not, even nicer. sebas, even more so than chris, thinks pepe should loosen up a bit and would actively TRY to set up pepe on dates after dates with the single girls in his major for like the first semester and eventually gives up because pepe would either 1. cancel on them last minute bc he “forgot he has a presentation tmrw” (he does not!) or 2. could not care less!!! the girlies in sebas major–who fell victim to his date arrangements with pepe–would glare at sebas the day after (bc of wtvr pepe did) and every time he’s like 🥲 guys? 🥲 what did i do? 🥲

that leads me back to the main point: pepe is acquaintance to friends to ??? to lovers coded. LIKEE i can only imagine him getting together and potentially entertain the idea of a relationship with someone he KNOWS. reader (or yn?!) would be friends with sebas or chris because they have classes together, or maybe yn are friends w their girlfriends bc girl power 🥺🤘🏻 and then yn became friends w sebas and chris too so now she has no choice but be dragged everywhere to their hangouts and everything bc they love her!!! (or maybe bonus reader and pepe has like 1 or 2 class together but he never noticed until now) and pepe is a little bit confused every time bc like ? why do you keep bringing this random girl to our hangouts ?? eventually he came around and just accepts that reader will be everywhere he is now bc his friends would not leave you out of a hangout plan. idk how yet but when reader and pepe’s relationship shifted friends-ish to ??? zone he’s a bit like… okay that’s weird. he doesn’t know what it is but he doesn’t like how he feels when he’s around reader anymore like how he did go from tolerating your presence to thinking about every small interactions you guys have ??? like he’s literally losing sleep over it. why does he wish for his fingers to brush yours for longer than necessary when you passed him that bag of chips ?? why is he upset because you asked mark that sits 3rd row from the front for lecture notes, like he’s literally right there, top student of the class ?? why did he offer you his hoodie when you guys’ friends are playing volleyball on a basketball court (don’t ask why and how) one tuesday night in the park nearby just because you shivered a bit ?? i can think of more but i think this is way too long already so i’ll stop here for now JDHDJFJF

up for debate but sebas looks like a kinesiology major, and pepe and chris had def make jokes about it more than necessary 😭😭 imagine sebas is like “guys, i can’t hang out my assignment is due today” and pepe is like “what? you have a curling biceps due at 11:59?” and they’d die of laughter bc. teenage boys. everything is funnier than it really is :D

- 🎀

darling. oh my GOD. this is so!!!! 😭 "now you have to deal with me" oh there's nothing id rather do 🤭

okay first off YES them sharing an apartment is so on point. istg their families would end up getting so tired of their bad taste etc that one day sebas's and pepe's sisters (ive looked all over to find info abt chris's family situation but can't find anything anywhere 😶 so if he too has sisters then they too would be there) just appear at their door for an "intervention!!!" to make sure it all looks at least a little decent...

and yn being friends with chris's and sebas's girlfriends is so 🥺😭

correct me if im wrong but i have a feeling pepe would be interested in something along the lines of maths/physics/science because i think i remember reading somewhere that he liked that when he went to school? he seems like a smart boy to me. like i feel like he would be naturally good at everything he does in school and he could've chosen anything for his major, but he wanted a bit of a challenge so he picked something most ppl would find hard. and yes like you said, career-focused and not rlly interested in much other than his studies (like he strikes me as someone who would actually enjoy studying? esp when he has to work a bit to solve something) so he definitely enjoys that part of the college life.

also he would be a bit of a popular boy (though not the type to be overly boasty about it, more like "what? me? why??"). handsome, friendly, sweet, smart.... and everyone knows he's single, it's kinda common knowledge. so when sebas goes to people and tries to set them up with pepe saying like "oh he would adore you, you're SO his type!!" they get all happy and excited because "pepe!?! im his type??!!". but then they get stood up and eventually that becomes a whole thing lol, everyone knows that he's just a little emotionally unavailable...

and maybe pepe even went through a relationship that ended a bit badly so that contributes to his "i don’t need that drama in my life, i'd rather just study and chill with my friends" 🤷‍♀️

but about his feelings for the reader.... pepe really really didn't see it coming. he's so clueless about what happened and why his feelings changed all of a sudden. why can't he focus on his studies like he used to? why does the thought of her smile cross his mind even when he's solving equations? why is he up until 4am just thinking about her the night before a super important exam?

and suddenly, it's much more likely that he agrees to hangout with the boys (instead of saying that he really has to study like he does way too often) because maybe their girlfriends will come along and maybe they'll have brought you along aswell.

and he starts doing these little things that he can't even figure out himself why he's doing them. like when he knows you're running late for a lecture you share that's always pretty much full, he puts his bag on the seat next to him to make it seem like it's occupied, so that when you make it to class, that seat just happens to be the only free seat in the entire lecture hall... or how he just happens to have a few of those granola bars you love from the campus coffee shop (he totally doesn't keep them in his bag because he knows you don't like having breakfast before your 8:30am thursday lectures and you're usually starving by the time your shared lab class starts).....

i mean ofc it doesn't take long for you to crush on him as well. in a moment of unusual stupidity (there may have been some alcohol involved), you accidentally confess this crush to the girlfriends.... and of course they tell their boyfriends, and it doesn't take long before all of them begin plotting about how to get you together. sebas wants to tell pepe instantly, but chris stops him like "no no no, we have to think this through. this can't be like one of your usual setups, this needs to be properly planned". so they start canceling plans in the last seconds but not telling you or pepe so the two of you end up alone, etc. etc. and you think they're all so obvious that you just wanna crawl under a rock and cry – but pepe is so so oblivious and has no idea. he really thinks it's all coincidences 😭

––

okay this is getting too long already but i just wanna share one other thought i had 🥲 this is ofc further down the story but one night you're all out partying at some classmate's apartment, and you drink a little much... and pepe agrees to take you home, but you're way too drunk to even remember what dorm you live in. so instead, he takes you back to the boys' apartment since it's also, conveniently enough, closer to the party. when he walks you down the hall, he's got an arm draped around your waist and you're clinging onto his shirt to even stand up straight... and when you finally get in, pepe gets some makeup wipes from sebas's room and cleans you up 🥺 and then he finds you an oversized shirt and some pajama shorts for you to sleep in. and after he's tucked you into his bed and he's about to leave, your hand reaches for the hem of his shirt.

"please don't sleep on the couch... it's not good for your back, you'll be complaining about back pains all week" (bonus points if you've already stayed over before for some reason and he let you sleep in his bed while he slept on the couch, and now you're all "you complained so much last time")

and he says "no it's fine, really-" but you bat your eyes at him and go "please? for me?" and he eventually gives in, changes into another shirt and a pair of sweatpants and gets in next to you. from there on, it's just a blur for you both... neither of you can recall how you ended up on his chest... or how his hand made its way to the small of your back, holding you against him.....

but it's especially funny because when sebas and chris come home, not only do they think it's strange that pepe's shoes are by the door ("did he come back already? her dorm is a bit away, he can't be back already can he?") – the sight of your heels a few feet away makes them freak. especially when they don't see pepe sleeping on the couch as they'd expected when having you over. and, as the nosy boys they are, they can't help but peek into pepe's room and sure enough, there you two are... cuddled up like you're something more than just a friend of a friend.....

and when you wake up the following morning, you're a little freaked because !! what are we doing !!!! but then you feel pepe start to wake underneath you and you pretend to sleep again because you can't both be awake now; then you would know you both know about this sleeping position and you'd be forced to talk about it. it's much easier if you can both just pretend like it never happened. pepe smoothly gets out of bed, making his way into the kitchen to make some coffee, but he's startled when he finds chris and sebas already in there, watching him with intrigued eyes. pepe goes like "....good morning?" acting subtle and everything, but the boys just can't hold back from the teasing. "we thought you'd bring her back to her own place?" "was that too hard of a task, huh?" & so on....

and you end up texting chris's girlfriend and beg her to bring you some clothes from your dorm, because... the skimpy/flashy outfit you wore to the party yesterday to impress pepe is not something you want to wear out in public at 1pm on a random sunday.... but wearing pepe's clothes all the way back to your dorm doesn't feel like a much better solution either 😵‍💫

—

edit: DID I NOT COMMENT ON SEBAS BEING A KINESIOLOGY MAJOR ??? wait it’s 1am so my thoughts aren’t clear rn so i can’t write a lot (about to literally fall asleep) but omg you’re SO right. pepe and chris are not letting a single day pass without making fun of him for it 😭

[glitterock]

I love ur gender, tbh I've always felt like that too (woman to lesbians and nb to everyone else) and it's like !!!!!! I can put it into words instead of just saying half nonbinary lmao. cause tbh the only ppl who make me feel like a woman are other lesbians. in conclusion lesbians are the greatest ppl on earth <3 luv ur blog vibes, and pillow princesses/high femmes deserve the world

also ur poly ? could u make a post bout that like... idk mentioning a lil more bout ur experiences w that, also do u have a free love "relationship anarchy" type thing where everyone gets the same amt of commitment etc, or do u have a main anchor type gf along w other relationships? cause I am in a poly relationship rn and it is going kinda ehhhhhh and most shit online I've tried looking for advice is wayyyyy too unrelatable for my taste. not just struggling w jealousy but it's kinda like there's sm empty feeling and I think the prob is not having an anchor partner but idk

not trying to b TMI or whateverrrrrrrrr and sorry I wrote so much !! not expecting a reply or anything I'm sure u get a lot of messages lol

have a wonderful day!! :)))

hehe thank you ! glad u like my vibes !

and yes i have a handful of experience with being poly and i’ve tried many different poly relationship styles and honestly yeah it’s really just about trying it out and seeing what feels right. The relationship i was in where i had one primary partner and we both got to have casual dates and sex with others probably worked out the best for me and made me feel the most secure and fulfilled out of any relationship i’ve ever had. We were also long distance which is why this worked well for me, and I liked knowing that no matter who we were hooking up with, me and my partner were actively choosing each other to be with (that is until they left me for someone they were hooking up with but that’s not the point haha before that it was all great!)

i also have been in poly relationships/situationships where i’ve been the secondary partner/have been seeing people who were primary partners and i haaaaated that. i think it was also partly the fault of the other people for various reasons, but to me, that kind of poly relationship was extremely unfulfilling and made me feel like i was only being appreciated when i presented myself in a sexual manner. I realized that i myself definitely am more secure when i’m going to be in some sort of relationship with people that want to prioritize me always not just when i’m invited into the bedroom. i think being a priority is where i draw the line with being non-monogamous and i don’t think i would try a polycule/dating primary partners ever again. im sure some polycules exists that are free of favoritism and bias but im not willing to try that again to find it

i use “poly” as an easy umbrella term but i less consider myself polyamorous (which i define as being able to have multiple committed relationships with multiple people at once) and more consider myself non monogamous where i prefer to have a primary or “anchor” partner who is separate from my casual dating/sex life. I also wouldn’t mind trying monogamy again one day, just not in this stage of my life when im young and traveling and just love making connections with the people around me !

idk i think a lot of queer people are poly or some variation of it these days so i think it’s easy for people to feel pressure to be a certain kind of poly or just poly in general when really you shouldn’t be doing anything you don’t feel secure with just to please others. i hope this helps and good luck!

[drunkengodsofslaughter]

Like Jonathan not telling Nancy that he doesn't want to go to Emerson is entirely on him but also why didn't he tell Nancy? (This is the conflict they use to keep Jonathan in Cali, but they didn't really need it, there were plenty of reasons for him to stay and Nancy to go. Like this is where they could have built on Nancy not really understanding Jonathan's struggles in season 3.) I believe the reason that the show gives is that Jonathan doesn't want Nancy to change her plans for college, and then resent him for it. Ok. I've seen people who don't like Jancy say this is evidence that Jonathan doesn't really understand Nancy because she would never change her plans for him. There are two points I want to make here. This was in the 80s, long distance, especially coast to coast would be difficult. 2 of my friends are doing long distance at the moment and they struggle a lot (Like emotionally, like with missing each other and stuff, as far I as I know, the relationship is doing well) even with social media because it's different than living in the same town. Like they have Facetime, text messages. And while it probably wasn't impossible to keep a long distance relationship thriving in the 80s, it's not going to be easy, especially coast to coast as college students. So it makes sense that Nancy might want to change her college plans to make it easier on the relationship. (Do I personally think that Nancy would? No, she's too certain in what she wants to change it for anyone. But that's why I think Jonathan might think that.) And the second thing is, why is it Nancy's dream school that is the option here? If they wanted to go to college together, wouldn't they have talked out some of their options? Like how did that conversation go down that Jonathan felt that he couldn't tell Nancy that he wasn't interested in Emerson or leaving the west coast at all? It's still on Jonathan that he didn't tell Nancy that he wasn't interested in going to Emerson but it also reflects on Nancy that he didn't feel comfortable enough to tell her that he didn't want to go initially.

YES like there are plenty of reasons for him to stay and her to go. you’re right tho like why didn’t he tell her - i get that she probs wouldn’t understand his reasoning BUT this is something that is going to come out either way. honesty i feel like that’s more not about understanding nancy and more about just miscommunication/his own insecurities. YOU ARE SO RIGHT WITH THESE POINTS!! starting about long distance - yep yep yep! in the 80s long distance would be even more difficult as we also see present with dustin and suzie. dustin had to go on the Cerbero on top of a hill to just communicate with suzie (i think that’s how you spell it for her) like that’s sooo exhausting to keep doing that. in season 4 he doesn’t exactly do that but it’s still a complicated way! and like you said even in today’s society long distance is hard!!!

yeah i don’t understand either why nancy’s dream school is an option and more important WHEN WE DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT SHE WANTED TO GO THERE UNTIL THIS SEASON! with jonathan joyce says HIS dream school in season 1 so we’ve known that jonathan has wanted to go to that school for a while - of course that was in season 1 and the UD and bejng in cali might have changed that but compared to nancy we’ve known what jonathan’s wanted to do with his life prior to season 4!

YES it absolutely reflects on nancy that jonathan didn’t feel comfortable telling her! idk i feel like people should pay more attention or what this says with their relationship instead of that one comment about jonathan not wanting nancy to change her dreams for him because the fact that jonathan NEVER felt comfortable to tell nancy the truth even after he comes back to hawkins with everything a wreck and knowing nancy could have died says a lot more glaring things about their relationship

[yo-cousin-dima]

so it’s Christmas and as usual i’m dozing off the traditional British carb-fest... and i’ve come to the conclusion that next year i want to actually come out of my shell. so far i’ve tried to be more social and despite a lack of confidence it’s been v v fun, so i’m beginning to actually want to make the effort to go out and meet people. if shy, socially anxious 15 year old me could see me she’d probably call me a loser but i know she’d secretly be proud. idk what the point of this post is, other than to remind myself to work harder this year! 

it’s just hard to make friends, and it’s scary to know that it gets more and more difficult even for people more socially competent than me. maybe i’m autistic or something, idk, i just feel like every convo is a minefield, i can never get anything right. i try but then people are mean or dismissive and i never know what i did wrong... it’s just weird to think that my body is betraying me somehow, like my gestures or tone are signalling something i don’t actually feel. anyway, that’s something i’ve decided to work on. i guess i’ll try different things and if nothing works i’ll just settle for being alone - it’s not so bad and the friends i have are supportive and funny enough. i just want to be one of those people who just... works... socially, someone who can effortlessly talk to everyone and make people feel at ease. i like being direct and no-nonsense (yes very girlboss mmhmm) but people never take me seriously lmao. 

i’m surrounded by people who think they’re quirky and different when they’re all into Marvel movies and anime. i don’t want to judge - that stuff is popular for a reason, and i used to be the *biggest* weeb - but ... it’s popular. you can discuss that stuff with anyone! meanwhile i still have so many genuinely strange crushes, interests and favourite films/series and i haven’t found many people who share that. the curse of being into weird shit is that there are few people you can talk to about it - and i *want* to talk about it, so badly!  Tumblr was so good back in the day because of that, but now i’m touching grass regularly (gasp) i prefer in-person friendships. 

anyway, it feels lowkey insulting to see people pretend to be 'the weird kid’ when they’re not, and prob even made fun of people like me at school. and so many of these people just fit in without having to try, they find their groups and are so damn similar, style and life events and everything, until they all just blend into one homogenous whole. it’s cool but part of me wonders if i’ll actually enjoy that. i’m way too used to my own company and ideas; i want to share those but i’m not sure anybody is actually interested. people see me almost as a kid, because i look pretty young for my age, and my dress sense is ... ‘creative’ (in a bad way). i don’t want to overhaul my entire personality and style but it really feels like i have to in order to get people to listen and like me. “just be yourself” works for folks who act normal and relatable, but ngl i feel like a total freak amongst other women. they all seem put-together in a way that makes sense, kinda poised and collected, like they’ve carefully curated their sense of self and society just accepts that. 

so yeah, to sum up this weird rambling post... i need to figure myself out next year, and once more i’ve gotta try and make friends. i get bogged down with considerations and hypotheticals but i never actually *try*, and somehow it took me 10+ years to notice this??? 10IQ i swear. it’s appropriate that my Tumblr handle is ‘dima’ because like him circa present day i’m a mess :))

[thatfuzzyfamiliarspace]

I hate this. I hate being so doubtful and over analytical. I’m stressing about everything. Alex makes valid points and shes got an outside perspective. I don’t look at those things because I don’t want to. But she words it like I’m being a blind idiot, and shes always been so intuitive about people. 

I cant tell if its what she said or if its the fact its her saying it. Has my FP switched ? The whole thing with Malu got me all sketchy and now Alex being so vocal.. idk maybe I’ve switched to Al now. She kept saying how she likes brunettes and how she wants to do Dam and strip clubs with me. She talks so deep with me. She even got me to open up and talk about my little side and I’ve never done that with any friend. I told her alot. She asked questions and we talked so much and she understood too and didnt make me feel like a freak. I just felt so heard. Fuck I think I’m fixated on her. I got jealous when she said she was moving out with Jordan, she wanted to move out with me ! But i missed that window, she waited ages for me and I ended up moving out on my own. So I can’t blame her. She’s so fucking sweet. The way she said she was helping Jordan’s inner child by doing things he wanted to do but never got to do when he was a kid coz his Dad left. Its that care giver side to her that really draws me to her. Damn I gotta stop this. I’m seeing her tomorrow. I’ll probs end up going over there when I take her home. I really wanna see her more. I feel bad I didnt take her to boomtown, I should never have doubted her. omg stfu Georgia. 

I’m a stupid mess. Getting emosh over the littlest things and irrelevant things at that too. idk how to voice most of them either because most dont make sense. I’ve just gone all mute. Like having every channel on your TV on at the same time and trying to focus on whats being said, its impossible. 

I really dont wanna fuck up today, but I just feel like I will because I’m all over the place. I’m batting away the dark intrusive thoughts, but my god are they compelling. We even spoke about that last night. Why do we get such an urge to self destruct and relapse? Why is healing and getting better so mundane that you get to the point that you miss the toxicity ? She said she feels like that too. Its just comfortable to be in those dark places you got so used to. But I’ve gotta keep trying to be better than that. 

my head hurts. I wanna switch off. I can’t bring her out anymore, not fully and its getting super frustrating. I’m so fed up with the suppression. But what else am I s’posed to do ? Alex said had I ever shown her that side of me, I don’t remember having done so. But the thought intrigued me, I’d want to. I think she could really give me what I need. That’s just the mummy issues talking, but its true though. Maybe one time I will. But idek how to even present that part of me anymore, she’s so shut off. It’s that constant cycle of getting the same treatment and reactions my parents did which fucking caused this whole thing. I need to delete those videos. It doesn’t help and its more harmful that anything. 

What do I do today ? How can I do something positive and productive? What can I do that would make Jordan happy and proud of me ? Should I talk to Al ? no, don’t do that. I literally cannot think of anything other than mindless distractions to help relax me. Just to keep all the thoughts at bay. 

[ijustreallylikecaptainamericaok]

random question for you, but do you think ppl go too far sometimes while ribbing characters they supposedly like? i feel like when i was in the mcu fandom more ppl would always do this to steve (and probs still do even though he's not present as much). or am i oversensitive lol idk

Here's the thing, Anon, even if you are oversensitive that doesn't mean people don't take things too far. There's a sketch comedy troupe I'm a fan of and one of the members once said something along the lines of, "Maybe I am too sensitive, but some people could stand to be more sensitive." As someone who’s been told many times that I’m too sensitive, I think that’s something people should consider.

By definition, ribbing is supposed to be good-natured and I think this fandom often forgets that part and comes off very mean-spirited instead. Not just with Steve either, though he gets it a lot. Scott is frequently on the receiving end of this stuff. Like, there are so many (too many) posts I’ve seen where I think, “Where’s the joke? You said there’d be a joke.” But really the punchline can be summed up as “Scott’s such an idiot, lol. He can’t even open a door, hurr hurr.” It’s not funny or clever, it’s just mean. Not to mention lazy.

There’s also the issue of certain characters always being cast as, frankly, bullies by the fandom. A while back I saw a bunch of posts (that I wish I knew where to find now) about how Sam in particular is often written as an asshole in headcanons and stuff, especially within his dynamic with Bucky. Which is something that, in addition to being out of character and shitty in general, is probably more than a little racist at its roots.

It also doesn’t help that a sizeable portion of the fandom (and maybe this has to do with age/experience) doesn’t appear to know the difference between nicknames and insults. When the foundation is people who think shit like Capsicle, Manchurian Candidate, and Piss-ant are just funny, uwu nicknames and not the insults they are (and needlessly cruel ones, at that), it’s not surprising that characters end up lumped into groups as either the constant butt of jokes or the bullies. Even if that’s not what people are actively trying to do or what they think they’re doing, it contributes to it anyway.

And for the record, my issue isn’t that people are gonna hurt a fictional character’s feelings. Obviously, that’s silly and impossible. It’s that... this is the internet and not only does the internet often foster environments where people bend to the worst, meanest parts of themselves, but it also rewards that behavior. Just look at Twitter. Lord knows, I look back at things I’ve said online and thought, “The fuck? That was needlessly harsh.” I just think we all should try to be mindful of the energy we put out into the world and how that ends up shaping spaces we’re in. Because trust me, even things that start out, genuinely, as jokes and ribbing can become pointed over time and help turn a fandom so toxic that it becomes inhospitable.

I don’t know if this is the kind of answer you wanted, but it’s where my brain went. Heh. Thanks for the message!

[janiedean]

@seethemflying I think Sansa is in the next bracket down of important characters (with Jaime). In the outline, they weren't named as one of the big five, but in the process of writing have grown more important. No way is Sansa's ending going to be anything like Show Sansa's, though (and same with Jaime tbh).

agreed but lemme take a second from cramming to rant about this because I honestly have An Issue

in the sense: I 100% agree that both jaime and sansa are next bracket/secondary main (speaking as someone whose top five is made by ppl who are either secondary main or tertiary main if they have a pov like.... I'm not gonna argue that theon is a main fiver bc he's in my top three) but like what I can't deal with is the following as in that the main five are the main five bc they have in between them all the main themes george wants to tackle + the main plot stuff except for the 'romance is my #1 sense of existing in the plot', as in:

jon is azor ahai + has the chosen one deconstruction trope going on + most likely has the 'I never wanted to be Important™/have a throne but I'll have to for duty' ending + identity arc ie if he's not jon snow first of his name i'm eating my hat

dany has the dragons + the targ ancestry deal + 'I thought I wanted to rule but actually I don't I just want to help ppl' storyline (which is the hill i'm dying on)

bran has the oH WAIT fisher king deconstruction going on + the magic™ storyline + he's most likely kitn + he's tied to uh the literal rebirth of the continent so + how to deal with disability storyline

arya has the I NEED TO REALIZE WHO I AM storyline + the learning to be yourself as a gnc woman storyline + revenge is shit storyline + I'll become a skilled assassin and choose not to act on it unless absolutely necessary storyline + trauma/ptsd storyline tied to losing your own identity

tyrion has the shakesperean hero thing going on as in I have to make peace with the fact that I killed my father/did mistakes + overcoming the societal issues/problems/the prejudice most ppl have for him that’s caused by his disability storyline + he's the only one of these five who doesn't have any magical stuff in his background/only has his brain to rely on + overcoming his family's legacy and making it better storyline

now: a bunch of other minor/secondary characters have all of this (I mean idk theon and jaime have identity + learning to deal with/overcoming societal scorn given by them being disabled/having become disabled in various ways + ptsd, brienne has the gnc woman thing etc) but like each single one of these characters only lacks the OH I HAVE A BIGASS GREAT ROMANCE WITH MY BACKGROUND (I mean gendry exists to be arya's LI but idt it's gonna be important in her future storyline the way it'll be in brienne's to say one).. which oh wait SANSA JAIME AND BRIENNE HAVE, because guess what that's the next secondary bracket where those three characters have it as a main part of the story which is exempt from the politics angle (bc none of them is tied to the iron trap by the plot no none of them jaime doesn't want it, brienne isn't a contender and sansa was supposed to be queen in the beginning so she's obviously not going to be that later no not even qitn that's gonna be bran) and here falls the entire shebang because what half of this fandom doesn't seem to get is that *drumroll* george's favorite angle to tackle when it comes to romance is... THAT EXTERNAL BEAUTY IS NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD BE LOOKING AT IN PEOPLE AT THE END OF IT AND GUESS WHAT THAT'S THE MAIN POINT OF ALL OF THEM PLUS THE KNIGHTHOOD DECONSTRUCTION THING and with that I mean:

not counting that sansa's reaction to trauma is written to be specular and opposite to arya's as in arya tends to lose sight of herself/becomes someone else/resorts to violence to survive sansa never loses track of herself/her innate kindness which... is smth I wish dnd remembered, the thing is: sansa is presented in the beginning as 'i'm a twelve year old with all the issues with shallowness a 12yo brought up like me can have and everything I want from life is a good love story', which... guess what she's 100% going to get except

characters need to have an evolution, if sansa wants a handsome pretty guy who'll make her queen in the beginning and she has to realize joffrey was The Worst, do we really think her endgame is being queen of a handsome nice king when her entire schtick is liking songs about knights and wanting true love and someone gentle and brave blah blah? no, and that's exceedingly obvious when the text throws at you in the face that her only two actually viable choices for LI - sandor and tyrion - are.. guys who are either disfigured or disabled or traumatized or all three of them but are actually good people and she has to learn to see beyond looks, and no one else fits that bill period - sansa isn't getting with a pretty guy who'll make her queen, sansa will find love with a guy who's nowhere near pretty or handsome but will love her for who she is and that she will see the good behind the not-handsomeness dot and she'll prob go back north with him and be happy advising bran bc she learned stuff in court at most and I'm dying on that hill, bc again the entire point of her sl is having the nice good love story where she sees beyond external beauty which has been clear from page five of her first pov imvho

never mind that again she wants to be a queen in the beginning and then she realizes it's shit so why would she be one in the end? like not to be that asshole but george isn't exactly pro monarchy and it's obvious he's not going to paint it as an inherently positive thing

this attaches back to the fact that there's a whole knighthood deconstruction happening for which sansa has to realize that the gallant/true knights are not the ones who seem that/look like it/flaunt it around

which brings us to the fact that oh wait sandor and jaime in themselves are true knights in spite of the fact that sandor refuses to even consider himself one and jaime thinks he fucked it up and no one sees them as such

and that the truest knight in westeros who will get recognized as such is brienne

who doesn't look standard hot either

and has the love story with jaime right on page

and jaime also has the love story right on page where he has to realize he's into people that aren't c. especially brienne and so on which is what's happening right now like jb recognizing themselves as true knights™ is part of their whole thing like... it's... important

(this counting that san/san is beauty and the beast played straight with sansa as the beauty while jb is the same trope except reversed on itself five times because both j and b are both of them)

and this would also like make utter sense if oh, wait, jb weren't in the riverlands where sandor also is and if oh wait who has sworn a vow to find sansa like again I'm dying on the hill that brienne kills stoneheart, they go on the quiet isle to recover, sandor is like AH YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SANSA and sansa gets rescued in the vale by the only three true knights in these series including the one that's her actual love interest at least the way I see it and where do you think that's going to end yeah exactly

as in: she'll have the umpteenth proof that all the true knights in these books don't look like the songs and she'll get the one she wanted

(also brienne is way more like sansa than arya in personality so like... parallelism of two girls into romantic stuff getting with the guys they like? except that for b. it's relevant bc she's ugly and she gets with hot guy who's into her and for s. it's relevant bc she's hot and she goes with guy-everyone-considers-a-lost-cause showing that they're not exactly a lost cause)

like sansa is there to a) have half of the main love story plot b) as the resident song expert witness what knighthood actually means, jaime is the resident person doing things for love and finding ways to do it that aren't toxic/finds someone who'll actually love him and not what he represents, brienne is the resident 'I never thought anyone would be into me and I'm pursuing my dreams without a shred of hope they'll go well' and she gets all of that and sandor is there to be sansa's LI and to tell ppl that you can go to rehab and have a decent life even if you were used and abused to hell and back (jaime too tbh) and like none of that has to do with the iron trap, the magic, the zombies and whatnot but it's okay because it's their point in the plot and is2g I just wish people would take characters for what they represent instead of shoehorning them into others's themes/stories just because it's what they want for them, the end

(I could rant about the third bracket of characters ie theon & co & getting over trauma/ptsd without the Love Story™ but I have to get back to study if I wanna fill some prompts later so it's not gonna happen for now but... sorry for the rant I'm just really tired of the whole sansastark will get the iron trap and the north and be the ymbq and get with a guy that looks good for her depending on what we ship not considering the overall reaching plot or her book plot and everyone else will have zero relevance in the story because we said so especially when it means giving all of that to a character who is uh not belonging to any of the categories represented by the main five which are actually kiiindaaaa relevant rep but I'mma just gonna shut up here)

[ayoalex]

Why is Team RWBY since the beginning present as a dangerous team?

Ok, before I begin this post I have to warn that:

1- I'm not an expert, this is based on my basic knowledge as someone that used to do martial arts as a kid, play a lot of video games and watch a bunch of anime/cartoon or read manga

2- This is going to be a long post, sorry 😞

3- You are always welcome to discuss in the replies or to correct in whatever I could get wrong, again I'm not an expert so don't be shy to call me out. Btw, English is not my first language so it's possible I could have some grammar mistakes.

4- Do not want to see any type of hate for any character 🤨

5- And last, decided to post this here because I prefer RWBY Tumblr community than Reddit one 💀

Let's begin!

When they present RWBY at the beginning of the project we got a glimpse of what they can do individually in the short films know as Red, White, Black and Yellow as well as some aspects of their character, backstory, etc.

As RWBY continued their journey we could see they seem as a force to be reckoned with when together but seem to be lacking in some aspects when they were alone.

The ones that didn't do better alone was mostly Ruby and Weiss while Blake and Yang seems to be able to hold their own alone (tho Blake seems to be in her flop era in the last volumes 💀).

So, let's talk about them as individual first.

Ruby: we all know her, leader of the team and the youngest of them all.

Ruby do pretty well alone when she's fighting Grimms, specially those that aren't that hard to go against. She's basically a prodigy and for that she got into Beacon earlier (and the fact she has silver eyes 😬).

She's the few people in Remnant that use a scythe as a weapon and she's pretty damn good with it; as told by a lot of character using that weapon is hard af so probs for her to be able to be so fucking smooth and amazing with Crescent Rose.

As told by Ruby herself in V1 while talking with Jaune, she did her weapon and here comes her first problem.

Not practical. Crescent Rose is a bad ass weapon and I absolutely love it but it's heavy and takes a lot to use it. It's a rifle as well so Ruby basically has to be a sniper to be able to go well with it.

It's a weapon that doesn't goes well with a team as can get in the way unless the user becomes a support for the team instead of being at front.

This is basically a metaphor of how Ruby is kinda a lone wolf at the beginning and awkward af with people.

But! She later gives some upgrades to Crescent Rose that helps her change the direction of scythe which give her adaptability! Which is completely important!

Now, if I take Crescent Rose away of Ruby what happens?

She's dead bro

Ruby is useless in close range combat, specifically physically one. We can see that in a lot of moments through the volumes.

She usually use her semblance as an advantage, which with her weapon works perfectly but without it is... Meh. It only helps her to speed up.

In Volume 5 Ozpin calls her out for that and then trains her, we then see Ruby being able to actually block and evade attacks without the use of her semblance... Until Ozpin took control of Oscar 💀

She knows basic stuffs, mostly with her defense but she lacks attack.

We don't actively see an improvement of this part in the future as she's seen to struggle keeping up with Harriet. Tho I'm going to give Ruby the fact that Harriet was being emotional and "aaahhh go crazy go stupid" In there.

Tho, Ruby lacks in this she make up by being a quick thinker and strategic.

She's the one that comes up with the plans and she's fast on her feet as well, she knows how to use her teammates perfectly to the point on coming up with duo attacks for them. She use her creativity to be able to defeat enemies as we can see at the end of V6 against the crazy old lady.

In general Ruby lacks close range fighting skills as well hand to hand combat + she can be really reckless and not actually think stuffs through it at first which can lead to disaster (she's getting better tho!)

Weiss: so... Oh boy, the ice queen comes next.

Her first actual win in a solo combat was Marrow if I remember correctly.

So here's the thing, as a solo fighter Weiss is the weakest link because she relies heavily in her semblance, get her someone that can break her aura fast and that's it, she loses.

But her semblance is really REALLY good.

Like she could stand in one place, do her thing and that's it but there's a thing... Weiss is too logical and sometimes narrow minded, her winning against Marrow was amazing and made me proud because she used EVERYTHING in that damn room to her favor. She was creative!

For her type of semblance that's important!

At the beginning she was too STIFF with her semblance but it got to the point where she has learned to be fast on her feet. Use her semblance in a better, creative way AND be a support in the team.

But now, without her semblance Weiss is a good fighter, being a mix of ballet with fencing/swordplay. Really pretty to see and then take off the damn weapon and she's pretty useless.

See a pattern here? Team Whiterose are completely useless without their weapons and semblance, mmmm

Overall Weiss is a freaking monster thanks to her semblance. She has gotten better to it, to control it and stuff, became more creative and less stiff as well as quick thinker but she needs to get better in hand to hand combat... Please, I'm begging.

Blake: ah yeah, our favorite emo cat girl.

So, Blake is crazy. That's it, that's everything I'm going to say about her.

Ok no, but seriously her fighting style is chef kiss

Blake use of her semblance is amazing, like this girl knows what she's doing when fighting.

Her weapons are great as well, like they are sword, a gun, then that freaking ribbon where she goes all Spiderman with everyone. Amazing!

Tho, she comes with an advantage that no other in her team has.

As explained by different characters in the series, Faunus has physical advantage over humans, not only some of them can see in the dark, but they seem to get some characteristics of the animal they are based off.

A good example is how agile Velvet is thanks to the fact she's a rabbit faunus or the way Sun jumps because of being a monkey faunus.

Blake being a cat faunus gives her ton of advantage, she's stealthy, agile, fast, listen better than the average human, etc

Combine that with her semblance, weapon and fighting style and you have an amazing fighter.

But Blake is reckless and that have cost her in the past. Not only that but while she seems to know only basic stuff in hand to hand combat, relies a lot in her semblance and lately she use her ribbon way too much.

That gives an opportunity to the enemy to take her out easily as we saw in her fight against Vine.

I'm going to say that Blake is generally a good fighter and probably one of the best in Team RWBY in general words but lately she seems to focus a lot in her ribbon which makes her an easy target, idk if this on purpose because Blake have always dislike her semblance or it just they don't know how to make Blake fighting style anymore but it kinda annoys me how she has been reduced to a damsel in distress in some fighting scenes.

Overall Blake is a top notch fighter and her weakness are small details that she slowly overcoming.

Yang: ah yeah, here comes my girl (stupid Tumblr mobile isn't letting me putting her name in yellow 😡)

As you guys know I'm a hoe for this girl so I will try to be objective here.

Yang is the strongest member of the team, not only physically but mentally as well.

So, by far she has my favorite fighting style of all the damn characters, I just love watching Yang fight. I think is because I did martial arts as a kid and then some kick boxing in college so idk.

Listen, this girl is so damn practical, her weapons are absolutely genius.

She's probably the few (maybe only one?) Character that actually took an existing fighting style and did her weapon around it + uses her semblance around it which is practical and smart af

Which comes to one of my favorite things of Yang, how tactical she is. Like Yang is what Ruby could be if it wasn't because of the damn weapon.

Like you guys don't get, Ruby weakness is Yang strength.

Yang since the very beginning showed us how of an amazing fighter she is. You thought Ruby is a prodigy? That Weiss is a monster? Blake is out of this world? Well Yang is fucking God.

I know I KNOW, I said I was going to be objective but it just MISS YANG XIAO LONG IS WHAT CINDER WISH SHE COULD BE, I SWEAR TO GOD, THIS GIRL IS BETTER THAN SOME OF THE ADULTS IN THE SHOW.

Ok ok ok

Yang is emotional tho, which cost her a lot (like A LOT, she lost her arm), in the past she was angry 24/7 (still is but baby got it under control 🥰). People are going to say "well not in v1, 2 and 3!".

I'm sorry but that girl has angry issues and the only moment she gets to be angry is when fighting so yeah, she would angry fight everyone and you know what? She still was an amazing fighter while doing so cuz she would kick everyone ass, being tactical about it, find her opponent weakness and absolutely looking hot while doing so.

Anyway, Yang doesn't have like a huge weakness like Ruby or Weiss, literally are small details. She's pretty much versatile as Ember Celica give her the option of shooting at her opponent. Since the beginning she was pretty much one of the best fighters of all the kids, probably coming second after Phyrra.

Her semblance use is pretty good as well, she seems to have a better grasp of it than some of the other kids and know how to manipulate it without overusing it.

Which btw is what made me have like a huge problem with V4 with the whole Taiyang stuff cuz Yang already knew how to fight like he was telling her, so idk I feel that was an insult to Yang as a character because the reason she lost her arm was because of stress, tired, being in battlefield and hello her partner is in danger.

RWBY

Now that I finished with them individually we can see that RWBY has 2 support fighters, 1 versatile and the other one a basically upfront fighter. Which comes in handy a lot of fights.

But it isn't this what makes them a formidable team but it's their chemistry.

Since the very beginning we see they do the most important thing in any type of relationship, communication.

As Weiss has her problem with Ruby at the beginning she end up talking with an adult about it and then getting call out for her poor behavior, that makes her change her approach to Ruby but before all that she did communicate Ruby what her problem was with her which made Ruby to talk with Ozpin and change her approach to study and her team as well.

We see that Yang and Blake goes well since the beginning as well, and they communicate a lot better than Ruby and Weiss at the beginning. To the point that we can see it in their teamwork.

When it comes to Weiss racism the rest of the team communicate her to stop it and then you have Blake and Weiss discussion about it where we got a glimpse of Weiss life in Atlas as well the revelation of Blake being a faunus and an ex member of the White Fang. This makes Blake run away which later Weiss criticized while telling her that they should talk first and communicate better.

The priority of RWBY as a team is communication. Ruby communicate her plans to the rest of the teams, Weiss her feelings, Blake her knowledge and Yang... Ok maybe Yang needs to work in this department.

This makes their teamwork really strong and their bond just continues getting deeper.

Add to this the fact they learn to use each other in a better way, as having both Weiss and Ruby as support helps a ton, Blake to distract their opponents and Yang to finish them off.

A good example of this is probably the train part in V6, where Yang fights all of the Grimms closely, Blake tends to fight them at some distance while helping out and Ruby with Weiss combination of support make the job hard for the Grimms.

This is exactly why JOYR had such a problem with a new Grimm, Yang needs someone to catch her back while she finds a way to destroy the Grimm which is usually provided by her teammates meanwhile RWB didn't had the boost of strength that Yang gives them in battle to be able to finish off the Hound.

Even in duos RWBY are a hard opponent to go against, probably the duo that would have a hard time is Freezerburn as we see in V3 and still I think if you put them fight together currently they would be a duo you wouldn't want to cross lol

They shouldn't have a problem with trios either but usually Yang is the strength of the group and basically the tank so is understandable that RWB had a hard time adapting without her there.

There's a part in the book Before the Dawn where Coco talks about RWBY and how they are a really strong team and even say that while JNPR aren't bad, they were basically carrying on with Phyrra since Jaune wasn't the fighter he is today. (Plus other problems that Renora have as fighters but this is something for other day).

RWBY in general has a great communication between the members, a great leadership, strong bonds and amazing fighters. They know how to adapt to each other styles and some members even complement each other (Yang and Blake).

Other thing that should be talk about its how basically Ruby and Weiss are too similar and too different at the same time to the point that they should clash a lot (which they used to do) but thanks to the fact they communicate their teamwork is amazing and in their own way they make it work.

It really helps that Ruby with Weiss can have the luxury to go upfront against an enemy while having Weiss to back her up which is something she can't do with Yang or Blake.

That's mostly because their teamwork is a metaphor of their own relationship as well as Yang and Blake teamwork is a metaphor of their own relationship.

Usually Weiss is the main support of her team since she's a large range fighter thanks to her semblance which is basically what she gives to her teammates outside of the battle.

RWBY basically fight is how they are with each other outside of the battle as we can see in multiple instances.

Yang being the tank and strength in their fighting style is exactly what Yang is to RWB, she's basically the heart and soul of the team and without her a lot of their attacks doesn't have the strength necessary for it to work as well as we can in V8 how long it took to RWB to know what to do while Yang already knew what she had to do with JOYR. She's the action.

While Ruby is the leader and sometimes call the shoot, she guide the girls through battle and help both with support and action. She usually starts the fight as a sniper until she sees an opening to fight up close which is a thing she actually do with her team. She takes a step back before talking with any of them and helps them navigate through situation in their lifes like promising Weiss to being on her side at Atlas to sometimes intervening between Weiss and her family.

Blake in the other hand is more of a wild card, she's usually Yang personal support as their styles complement each other but in most situations she does it on her own, unlike Ruby, Blake usually is more of an upfront fighter and only being support when Yang needs her which is a thing outside of battle. She usually does her own way, and while she support both Weiss and Ruby is with Yang where we see a more intimate support.

This is what makes RWBY dangerous, their bond and chemistry is something they worked hard to have as they started with difficulties, is a thing the 4 of them appreciate and love, it really helps they know how to communicate and do so to be able to have a healthy relationship between each other.

Right now we are finally seeing a lack of communication between RWBY, specially between Yang and Ruby.

As we all know RWBY is a direct parallel of STRQ which means this miscommunication between Yang and Ruby is important for their future as a team. Is implied that they still have each other back but it's necessary for Yang to open up to Ruby about what's going since this could create a breach if not treated.

Conclusion: stan RWBY and stan LOONA 😌

[jq37]

The Case File – Mice and Murder Ep 3

The Case of the Curious Clues

Before we start, a quick plea to Grant O’Brien: Please stop finding clues. I can only take notes so fast. You’re killing me Grant. Moving on...

We start off this episode with yet another flashback, this time to the final confrontation of Sly and his supposedly dead arch nemesis Fletcher Cottonbottom at Reichenbunny Falls (...Brennan please). Fletcher was using a local castle as a storage center for munitions but Sly tipped off the cops before they could be moved. They do some repartee back and forth before Fletcher, the madman, handcuffs them together and jumps off the edge. They hit the water but Sly is able to lockpick himself out and escape while Fletcher disappears beneath the waves. 

You know what I got from that story? No body.

Anyway, we jump back to the present where there *is* a body, Squire Badger’s specifically. Everyone in the room who isn’t a PC thinks that this must either be the work of ghosts or Mrs. M who was the only person in the room when it happened (allegedly). 

This is a crucial time for clue gathering and Brennan keeps everyone in initiative for investigative purposes. Now, *so much* stuff happens here that I’m not going to recap every single detail--just the major clues and the things that seem relevant. I’m serious, this is like the volume of info we usually get in the once per season later game lore dump ep but it’s episode THREE.

Daisy tries to find a secret door but critically fails. She clocks Gangie, a fellow criminal, and in the moment Rekha and Katie decide that they prob have worked together in the past even though they are very different kinds of criminals. 

Buck, who is outside listening to what’s going on in the room notices that his ankle knife is missing which is Concerning considering a man was just knifed to death. 

Sly has Lars guard the door (he opens it and Buck is discovered, whoops) and then rolls a NATURAL 20 plus NINE to investigate so Brennan just has to tell him literally everything. RIP to him and me. Anyway, here’s the rundown (along with some of the stuff other ppl got):

Mrs. M’s hands are covered in blood but she couldn’t have done it. Based on her personality for one and for other reasons we’ll get to.

The wound is much messier than it would be if a person stabbed themselves typically.

There is a note in Squire Badger’s handwriting that says “Sylvester Cross I am afraid” No indication of if that was the whole message or if he got interrupted (maybe Buck could figure it out with his handwriting checking skills). Daisy from across the room clocks that Sly’s name is written on the paper but can’t read the rest.

The knife is a hunting knife with a pronghorn handle--an animal not common in England but very common in Texas (and Buck is sweating obv).

There is a slight layer of charcoal type dust on everything on the big resolute desk in the room (which makes sense, ash from the fireplace) but there is parchment type dust on the bust of Barkus Aurelius (OK, that one’s good) on the table and that’s the only place that dust is. Ian later notices that the date on the bust is wrong. 

Speaking of, the desk (which we learn later was put in and taken out of storage once Loan Hall was modernized) is bolted to the ground and a lot of stuff has been thrown off it as if by a powerful force but Sly notices that it’s just the metal stuff like things made of silver or with screws. Stone things like the bust and other non-metal things have stayed put. Plus he smells ozone. This was the work of magnets, not ghosts, he concludes. And, for the record, Grant figured this out himself!

Mrs. M’s eyes are rapidly dilating. She is questioned about what happened and she says that she was told she was fired and would receive a small pension. 

(Not a part of Sly’s clue dump but Buck rolls a 24 with disadvantage to persuade everyone he didn’t do it but then 2 nat 1s in a row to see if Harding--who said he was standing outside the door--is suspect. Buck thinks he’s at most a stooge but he did roll a nat 1 so who knows?)

Anyway, back to Mrs. M. Gangie fully believes Mrs. M is innocent and scared. She doesn’t quite remember what happened for a couple of seconds in there and it’s clear this is not the first time she’s had missing time. Sly calls Longfoot (the bunny photographer) over to take a picture of Mrs. M which everyone is a little appalled at until they realize he’s making a point. When the flash goes off, she bugs out like she did in episode 1 and forgets that the picture was ever taken. Sly then has Dr. Magpie list the symptoms of epilepsy. It seems that Mrs. M had an episode triggered by the flash she mentioned seeing and then lost time. It’s possible that what she thought she saw after that she didn’t actually see.

[While Sly is monologuing this Rekha texts Brennan and gets a 17 to swipe the “I am afraid” note. Sly doesn’t notice.]

So if it wasn’t her, then who was it? There’s only one door into the study and anyone who walked in would have to have walked past Mr. Harding, Shellcrest, Calliope, and Tabitha (who is having a marvelous time being in the midst of so much drama). Ah, but who said there was only one door? Sly has Harding pull a sconce and a SECRET DOOR OPENS! Woo! Finally! It’s a classic bookshelf one that opens into the hallway and there is some extremely fine crushed glass under the door. Hmm.

Sly clocks that there is something under the desk but we don’t know what it is because Brennan texts it to him and it’s redacted. There are actually a couple of redacted texts that go around this ep so we are def missing information. 

OK, that’s more or less everything. 

Sly notices that the page is missing and Grant gasps while Rekha does an excellent job of pretending like she doesn’t even remember what paper is being talked about. Constance asks if it’s possible that Mrs. M totally made up the memory because of her epilepsy and between Dr. Magpie and Sly they determine that that’s uncommon but possible. Dr. Magpie says that everyone should leave so he and Sly can examine the body and Sly says that someone should watch Gangie at all times. 

At this point, Harding and Gilfoyle (the butler) say they should establish where everyone was at the time of the murder. A lot of the staff and guests have solid alibis cause they were in big groups/cleaning up together. But the PCs were off alone (or with each other) and had reasons to want to guy dead so they’re prime suspects. Sly even admits that he’s one too. Also everyone dogpiles Ian because Raph makes it so fun. 

Harding mentions the letter that was given to Buck (the one selling his shares in BB and giving voting writes to his rival Josiah) and asks him to read it. Buck reads it and gives a streamlined version of the truth, saying everything except for the part with the proxy vote. With a 26 he is able to allay everyone’s suspicions for now, but now he’s purposefully hidden the truth in a way that can be readily called out if anyone sees the letter or the contract which he resolves to find. 

Buster distracts the group so Daisy can “check the body for a pulse” aka: check the body for the contract. She doesn’t find a it but does find a key attached to a piece of red silk--something that would be weird for him to be carrying around instead of his valet. She figures this must open whatever locked drawer the contract is in and swipes it but Sly clocks her stealing it (his perception ties her sleathiness but an earlier Bless from Ian tips him over the edge--poetic).  

Calliope says that everyone is kinds suspect, including Sly, but *someone* has to solve this and Sly’s their best bet so everyone should just stay put and they can guard the exits. The butler says that, besides the front door, there are some towers that poke up above ground and a servant's exit/entrance by the elevator in the kitchen wing but they can lock down both and have someone guard the front doors. 

The butler is like, lmao yeah Sly I know you didn’t do it and I’m not gonna stand guard here but you know, everyone is keeping an eye on y’all. And then he leaves the PCs, Mrs. M, Constance, and Dr. Magpie in the room with the body. 

Lars is about to go watch the kitchen staff but, before he goes, Sly says to him that he saw Cottonbottom and is obviously quite scared. Gangie, who used to work for the guy, overhears and asks what’s going on. Sly assumes Gangie is playing coy but rolls high enough to know that he isn’t. He saw a starkly white Cottonbottom and one of his known conspirators doesn’t know he’s back? Perhaps it was a ghost after all. 

Case Notes

My 2 fave bits of this episode were “bad to bad bad bad” (and the further riffing) and Daisy throwing increasingly bigger books at Sly.

Even with a Nat 1, Sly gets a 16 on Investigation. Wild. 

I don’t think Rekha got enough props for her “Cross examination” line so I’m mentioning it here.

Brennan said the ozone question was still open--but I assumed it was like the electricity smell from an electromagnet. That would make sense, right? Maybe he meant they hadn’t found the source of it specifically yet?

Brennan says Buck’s knife is a pronghorn knife. I assume they’re made from the animal’s horns? Even if they’re the kind that fall off every season, is that weird? Or is it just like human hair wigs? Also, does this world have leather?

I love that the dice keep supporting the narrative that Daisy simply cannot get her shit together when she’s with Sly because he distracts her too much. Delicious. Their whole relationship is delicious. 

OK, I am a tiny bit suspicious of Calliope. It’s partially the way she took control of the situation near the end and partially the fact that she doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would be involved in this which would make her heel turn delicious. No hard evidence and obv she couldn’t be the person who actually stabbed a guy but idk. Just spitballing. I’m very curious about whether we’ve met everyone we’re going to meet more or less or if there are still outside people/hidden inside people. Because, in real life, a murderer could be literally anyone but in a story, you can’t just introduce a new villain all of a sudden at the end. Bad storytelling. Weak payoff. We’ll see how things start to pan out. 

[qawsslate]

newbies

another nct drabble, short story, one shot, scenario? 

genre: fluff probs

tw: none

pairing: Renjun & reader

a/n: idk bro read at ur own risk, i used google translate for a thing but im hoping it makes sense in the context, feel free to interact :)) 

____

"Renjun-ah it’s fine. You, of all people, know how forgiving she is.”

“Ya! Haechan, don’t say it like that. Renjun-ah it looks really nice she’ll love it.”

Haechan and Jeno were gathered in Renjun and Jisung’s shared bedroom attempting to calm the nerves of the older Dream member. He had just finished a painting he had been working on for the last month in prepation for Valentine’s Day. He knew you weren’t expecting anything as in Korea, the traditional practice was for the girl in the relationship to give the guy chocolates, but neither of you were big on the specifics of things like that. You both shared the sentiment of holidays but were also practical in the ways you gave gifts to each other. Last Christmas, Renjun had given you a new winter coat since the one you’ve been using since your teenager years had begun to literally tear at the seam. You often brushed off his nagging of buying a new coat with protests of the coat still doing its job. 

“Renjun, the coat is fine. I’m still perfectly warm” 

“Y/n, I can see the thread that’s keeping the arm sleeve attached to the rest of it hanging off. I bet if I pull it the whole thing would fall apart. Here let me show you.” 

He reached down and pretended to yank the thread which prompted you to gasp in amused disbelief.

“Ya! Don’t you dare! Did you really pull it off?”

You looked down at your arm trying to assess if in fact the fabric on your body was still a piece of wearable clothing.  

He laughed and just embraced you in a hug.

He had followed up the new winter coat with a flower plushie you had commented that was cute a week ago in a shop, his favorite scented candle so you could be reminded of him when he was away on a schedule, a neck massager because he thought you spent too much time at your desk, an insulated bottle so you would drink more water and not coffee, a polaroid camera for the memories and random Chinese snacks you really liked. He was very practical yet considerate, and it made your heart swell. You almost cried thinking all of it was too much and he had to hold your face in is hands and make you look at him so he could tell you that you were worth it. 

What you didn’t know that he also wanted to gift you with a necklace but second guessed himself too much to the point where he took the small box out of the pile of gifts only minutes before he gave you the heap of presents. Mark was the only member he told about the necklace beforehand but Renjun unfortunately had forgotten to inform his loveable hyung of his inaction, a problem that presented itself the morning after Christmas.

“Y/n! Merry-day-after-Christmas! How was Christmas with Renjunnie? Did you like the necklace?”

You, Mark, and Renjun had been sitting at the Dream dorm kitchen table eating leftovers from the small dinner Jaemin had made at 3am. Thankfully the rest of the boys were still asleep so the damage could still be contained. Renjun choked on the green tea he had been drinking but quickly recoverd.

“Neck massager hyung. The Korean word for neck massager is 목 마사지기. Ahhh, it’s because he’s a foreigner.”

Renjun laughed a little too forcibly and tried to signal to Mark as much as humanly possible without bursting a vein that the necklace gift was aborted. By some Christmas miracle, Mark had somehow picked up on the hint and quickly corrected himself. He even added a white lie to support the neck massager fib, quickly sputtering that he had helped Renjun pick out a neck massager with the recommnedations from his mom, his aunt, his grandmother, and his cousin who was some sort of professional massager. You answered honestly that you had yet to put it to use as you forgot to charge it last night. You weren’t sure if it was the happiness hangover or lack of sleep after Christmas Day that made you think Mark and Renjun were acting strange, but you became distracted from dwelling on their behavior as Haechan and Jisung came into the kitchen. The mood quickly shifted and Renjun felt like he could breathe for the first time in what felt like an hour. You had become preoccupied in helping Jisung follow a recipe on how to make American style pancakes and scolding Haechan for handing the gullible maknae wrong ingredients. After a few minutes Renjun had excused himself to check on Jaemin and Jeno, and Mark announced he had to use the bathroom. Once out of earshot from the mess in the kitchen Mark turned to Renjun,

“You didn’t give it to her?”

“No, hyung, honestly I got too scared. What if she didn’t want it? What if she thinks I’m going too far? What if it’s too serious all of a sudden?”

“Well, don’t you want to be serious with y/n?”

“Of course. More than anything. I just don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Renjunnie,” Mark placed his hands on his shoulders, “you are doing great. Do whatever feels right to you. But if you’re only doubting yourself I think it’s still a good idea to give her the necklace.” 

Renjun still looked conflicted and mindlessly opened the door to Jaemin room then Jeno’s. 

The four proceeded back to the suspiciously quiet kitchen to find Jisung sat at the table and Haechan and you making the rest of the pancakes. When Jaemin asked what happened, Haechan responded,

“We wanted to make sure you guys still had a place to live.”

The necklace matter had been dropped and about a month later all those repressed emotions Renjun had came back. It was two nights before Valentine’s Day and both just wanted a quiet evening. Renjun planned to cook a dinner at your apartment and the whole thing felt innocent until he thought about how you guys hadn’t even been officially together for more than a year. He suddenly felt the pressure, the implications, the underlying tone of something like giving you a piece of jewelry. His plan was to just give you a painting. He had carefully recreated the scene of the park where he first saw you. You had been pushing children on the swings. He had thought you were a babysitter of some sort until you waved to the kids goodbye and saw the nearby adults scoop them in their arms and walk away. Then he saw you swinging by yourself. He never revealed this to you during your first official encounter as he didn’t think it would be smooth to open up with, “I’ve been watching you swing by yourself at the children’s park.” He also hadn’t been initially sure if you were the same girl he had wistfully observed, but you had once planned a park date at your favorite spot.

“It’s actually quite near your dorm, we could walk there if you’re up to it? Sometimes I play with the kids. It’s gotten to the point where some of the mothers have recognized me.”

Renjun immediately knew you had been that girl he had observed in what felt like a lifetime ago. He knew that one day he would really have to treat Chenle to a meal for introducing you both. Renjun also knew if he had admitted this to Chenle now he would never let it go and it would somehow inflate the size of that kid’s head even more, but he added it to the list of things he loved about his younger member. 

Renjun had carefully recreated the details from his memories of those days, paying particular attention to that coat you refused to give up on and he had just finished the painting when Haechan decided to burst into his room.

“Renjunnie! Have you ate? Let’s eat.” 

Renjun had been so absorbed with his doubts that the sudden interruption almost made him fall off his chair. Renjun almost gets as easily startled as Jisung, but the magnitude of his reaction made Haechan take a step back and immediately set off his signature mischief.

“Ya, is the innocent and pure boy doing something naughty? You know you should really lock your doors Renjun-ah”

Renjun scrammbled to find something to cover the painting. His tidy desk space provided no aid and his next move was to flip the whole thing over deciding to deal with the consquences of the still wet paint later, but Haechan moved quickly and pulled Renjun’s arms up away from the canvas.

“Ya, what’s this?”

“Nothing. Heachan, please.”

Renjun sighed. He had no problem in any other situation to fight the boy who always tested his limits, but with the awkward sitting position he was in, Renjun knew that there was no logistically sound way to physically fight Haechan at the moment. 

“Oh, it’s just another painting. Why were you so freaked out- YA! Is that y/n?!”

Haechan dropped Renjun’s arms, his first mistake, as Renjun took the opportunity to lunge towards the painting. Haechan proceeded to yank the back of the wooden chair -- his second mistake -- and he called out for reinforcements.

“JENO-AH!”

Jeno was not surprised that the bickering quickly took place, but was also concerned with the intensity of Haechan’s scream. Jeno regretfully entered the space of what would ultimately disrupt the otherwise peaceful morning and listened to the chorus of Renjun’s mild curses and death threats and Haechan’s shameless happy teasing although he was the one in the headlock.

“Ya, you two. Can we just go eat?”

“Jeno-ah, grab that. QUICKLY.”

Curiosity took over and Jeno obeyed. Renjun knew that although Jeno lacked in the desire of fighting members, he made up for with his physcial strengh. Renjun was quite aware that Jeno could quite literally pick him and Haechan up to stop the sqaubble. Renjun gave a frustrated sigh of defeat and sat back down at his desk while Jeno and Haechan sat on the nearby bed to fully observe the art piece.

“Is this y/n? It’s really good.”

“Our Renjunnie is growing up so fast. It’s cute to see you in love.”

The casualness of Haechan’s sentiment in dropping the L word set off alarms in Renjun’s brain but curiously not his heart. He quickly pushed off whatever deer in headlights reaction he showed and calmy took the painting back from Jeno. He decided to just tell the two that it was for Valentine’s Day and mumbled that he wasn’t sure if you were gonna like it. 

"Renjun-ah it’s fine. You, of all people, know how forgiving she is.”

“Ya! Haechan, don’t say it like that. Renjun-ah it looks really nice she’ll love it.”

Haechan sensed it was the right time to get serious. 

“Renjun-ah. Honestly. It’s a really good painting. She’ll love it. That girl loves everything you do.”

Jeno hummed in agreement.

“Injunnie, it will be okayyy.”

Jeno’s speciality in dorm-only aegyo gave Renjun comfort. It almost brought back a sense of normalcy in Renjun’s emotions. He was also grateful to Haechan although no matter how much the boy made it a sport to annoy him, he could still be mature when it counted. He thanked God that the necklace had been safely hidden in a drawer and considered the many ways the situation could have escalated if the two boys saw that the painting gift was not the main source of his anxiety.

Renjun thought it would be best to change the subject from his insecurities about his love life. Love, he thought, there was that word again. 

---------------

hi i have a tendency to not end my fics well, lemme know what yall think

[crazygaysex]

incomprehensible conjecture and rambling about sunny/rcg under the cut! idk man I got 1 hour of sleep in the past 24 or wataver and my brain is an abandoned swamp Good Nigte

i certainly am not arguing that mac Absolutely Isnt a stereotype of a predatory gay man/self-hating homophobe or whatevr. i wont argue the homophobe one at all really,not great even if they rectified it and further tried to make up for it or whatever w mac finds his pride (which i love, regardless). but honestly i dont think the predatory complaint really makes a whole lot of legitimate sense considering every charatcer on the show is Extremely predatory in their own right. if he wasnt i’d be irritated to be honest. i do agree w wat mcelhenney said something like that its cool that they decided to acknowledge he was gay without changing him fundamentally as a person; he still needs to fit into the show or watever. like idk he’s not Ideal Gay Rep ofc but he’s awesome still. To Me. I like when character’s sexuality can be an improtant acknowledged facet of them but doesnt overtake the rest of te narrative! It never occurred to me that his behavior toward dennis would be seen as predatory ina stereotypical way seeing as how their relationship dynamic is so fckign bizarre. charlie has the same level of dogged cluelessness about the obj of his affection’s true feelings, so it didnt occur to me to see mac touching dennis’ knee or stuff of that variety as being any different ig or as making fun of queers or watevr. if i am wrong/misunderstanding i apologize. i have never considered mac from that perspective before.

honestly i kinda get the complaints. i’ve never rly thought rcg all have 10000% pure intentions with the insensitive kind of humor they are into, no matter their loophole justifications for shit. sometimes i almost believe their reasoning and do basically understand but it still seems flimsy when you considers stuff like the blackface stuff which is indeed kind of funny at times mainly bc the joke is the absurdity of it all, like mac in the shower with the brown dripping off him like he’s melting; it’s not funny at the expense of black ppl but more so at the expense of how goddam stupid and unaware mac is. i havent seen the blackface/brownface ones in years sos i dont have a whole lot to say excepe they seemed to be clearly against using blackface as the moral while still using it to get laughs. so. really honestly i don’t know that it’s Liderally Ever edgy white people’s call to use something like blackface regardless of context, regardless of their obvious intent? i dunno i have tried to find Black ppls opinions online a couple times but struggled to find any tangible results. the only other thing i have to say with ym white person words is that i think it’s stupid that the streamig companies take down all insensitive episodes like theyre trying to brush them under the rug and pretend it never happened in wake of a changing political climate. i get it, but kinda just seems like corporate scrambling ie disney getting ridof all of song of the south but still profiting from splash mountain eprhaps. something seems dodgy to me about pretending it doesnt exist anymore just to cover their asses. i understand the sentiment i guess but i dont think that’s really the main goal of the BLM movement, to purge streaming services of any questionable/racially insensitive/Fully Racist material; there’s surely more important things at the top of the lists besids Good Branding . im not sure if that makes sense

also a lot of episodes the joke is the blatant but somehow woefully oblivious homoerotic overtones present between the guys, like a Lot of the time. it is very funny though is the thing and a lot of thm are my favorites. i dunno. i also thought hte pooping transgender bit was pretty funny mainly cause it was absurd. i think maybe because i have my own what i think are reaosnable and empathetic views about certain stuff like queer shit it doesnt necessarily occur to me that they are trying to make fun of queer people.. like people make fun of conservative fans for having completely missed the point of it all being satire, and wat if i am being tricked to into assuming rcg has kind intentions and isnt trying to make fun of queer people just cause the thought didnt occur to me? instead of taking all the gay subtext serious- WHICh i Do, i should probably be more aware that to rcg it is just a bit and not really that deep. but mac and dennis were totally fucjing in s5 canonically. anwyays like aside from the carmen shit which is handled So Fuckign Bad and it makes me so upset cause i actually love carmen they were just very clearly not bothered with actually representing trans people accurately. so in the bathroom one if even fuckin dee reynolds is like, saying a trans woman in a woman’s bathroom is obviously normal.. it seems like they’d rectified some of their previous Very flawed rhetoric surrounding trans women (ie the whole “u slept with me when i was still a man” line. makes me cringe a bit ebery time)u get wat i mean?? not that it atones for it obviously. i love carmen she desreved better

butreallt i dont have any like. Pure Faith in rcg to be super accountable or honest about their intentions or to have the most accurate or agreeable beliefs or whataver. theyre just fucking about really because they can without any lashback. and people i think like being able to laugh at offensive shit thru scenarios which supposedly distance you from bigots/evil people and make u feel better about yourself watching these dumbass evil people talk slime. when like. glenn yelling supposedly arabic-sounding gibberish for example: it is funny in this context not just cause it’s wildly inappropriate and absurd but also because there’s prob significant amt of people who actually dont have an issue with it who could watch it and not have that takeaway whatsoever. i dont kno wt im talking about anymore btu honestly if youre trying to watch a show that isnt rife throughout with controversial/offensive/insensitive language and story beats, i dont know why you would try to stomach it with sunny. like for gods sake they used blackface more than once! i dunno man

[ahhhsami]

Hey you’re probs tired of this line of questioning lol so if you want to ignore that’s cool. But I thought you made an interesting point about tagging/curating the content you want to see. Particularly on ao3. I think they do a lotta things great and others could be improved. For ex. for those “hard no” type stories I think it would be great to have that as a tag like ‘underage, noncon, etc’ are. But at some point where does it end? Idk just sucks cause tagging systems can be so flakey at times

No worries. I totally agree that an "Incest" option would be a good addition to the Archive Warnings. From my perspective there's enough people out there who create content for that tag, that I don't see it as unreasonable to add it, especially when there are also so many people who definitely don't want to see it on their feeds. But for all I know AO3 moderators may have already discussed this and maybe the creation and audience of incestuous content isn't large enough to warrant an Archive Warning.

I think the Archive Warnings lean towards filtering out content that could be seen as "Illegal" mainly from the American legal system. They warn for graphic depictions of violence, major character death (not always illegal, but obviously very triggering to some, and I mean... someone could've been murdered), rape/non-con, and underage. I think incest would fit under this type of umbrella.

Again it depends on how much content is being created and consumed. So I think that's where it ends/the line is drawn. Obviously things like cannibalism, beastiality, and probably a lot more could be added, but the content and readership isn't high enough, which is why it's not a warning. The only other warning I can think of that I wouldn't mind being added would be Mental/Emotional Abuse since physical abuse is covered under violence.

As for the flakiness of tagging systems, there's no tagging system that is perfect at the moment and probably never will be since there are so many work arounds. I envision the filtering system almost like a parent and the user a child. When you grow up, your parent is there to protect you from things that could harm you, but they obviously can't always be around. You go to school, camps, church, etc. In those times, the parent isn't there and thus you as a child may be subject to something that could be harmful. This is how the filtering system works. There's always things you can block and hide, but there are certain times you will go beyond the limits of what a system can do. Like when people don't tag due to not tagging or not realizing the content they write could be triggering.

To loop back to the topic of incest, usually it's really obvious if there is incestuous content even without the tag present and that's due to the list of "Relationships." Most likely the author will write the relationships that are present and as someone that is a fan of the content they're reading, they should notice the incestuous relationship present. It's unfortunate that this is the main way someone would need to look out for this though. So it'd be nice if it were added to the Archive Warnings.

[ferie-anon]

(●’◡’●)ﾉ hey, I hope you could look at my signs and see which member in NCT (any sub unit) would you ship me with? My placements are: aries sun & mercury, aquarius moon, saggitarius rising, capricorn mars, and pisces venus:)) Thanks!💗

(Your moodboard)

Alrighty, aries sun with aquarius moon, so I see you are someone with strong opinions and stubborn of your own beliefs/views. Probably rlly active, physically and mentally, your thought process and randomness is always intriguing and inspiring for others. With aries mercury, you adhere genuine thoughts, honesty, and expect loyalty just as you are loyal and there for those you care about. With pisces venus, you are sweet, self-less in love, and it is quite balanced with your aries energy that you choose to give your all, and heart to those you trust. Also that emoji in your ask desc, is literally uwu your placements make for someone genuine/authentic, and you also desire/value those same things back. Your aquarius moon with sag rising, kinda makes you pretty easygoing/the impression, idk wut it is but you seem someone who is able to cheer up or bring light to others, aquarius moons are actually pretty funny imo, they rlly got this thing going on where ppl be loving them and they don’t even know who these ppl. With sag rising, I feel you may be pretty active irl in some aspect, maybe hanging out with friends? Or going somewhere/doing any activities. Your complexion/impression may be glowy/healthy, in the sense, or physically. Lastly, your capricorn mars pairs well with your pisces venus and everything imo, with capricorn mars you hold yourself to a certain set of work ethic of consistency, carry and are aware of the responsibility, and you also show through care of others by taking care of them in a way, capricorn mars are lowkey smoothly quiet when aiding someone. I appreciate capricorn mars grounding/consistent nature becuz you guys are always getting something done or mostly.

Your match in Nct is.... Johnny!

Johnny here has an aquarius sun with a gemini moon! Fun in many different ways and every type of moment with Johnny is quite not the typical norm, something that will always be unrestricting and free but mentally stimulating. (Well in Nct, not the norm seems often there lol) With double air in the big 3, his sun in aquarius makes him someone who is quietly resilient yet engaging and a bit distant from his true personal feelings to new ppl, as aquariuses open up once they feel like they’re comfortable with sharing their true emotions with someone they care and trust enough. After all, there’s many aspects and layers of Johnny from wut we have seen, his variety moments, then his serious and lowkey intimidating moments as he is one of the eldest, and him with his members, playing along with them and talking with them personally. Johnny has a lot of meme moments, or rather memes insert in many video compilation of nct, it’s either iconic or just very “johnny” of him in terms of thinking, but remains memorable in nct content which can show of aquarius innovation and making new statements(moments/events). His gemini moon makes him share his intellect of moving through his thoughts quickly, at times making him quite reflexive verbally and etc, and him being random at times becuz gemini moons are the type of brains that will go through so many ideas and thoughts that wut u see may be only a fraction or part of their wittiness and intellect. The first meeting of a scenario, would be the first day at campus/college or uni. Though you heard or thought you heard some screeches that were similar to a parrot, and spotted the noise coming from a tall boy who was chilling and fooling around with his friend group. 'Hmm wut was that lol', you chuckled to yourself as you rush to the entrance realizing you're nearly late.

(Johnny explaining the term “oh daddy” is iconic and so awkwardly hilarious in context)

Johnny's moon is in gemini, and these natives are logical, ends up attempting to rationalize emotions through why they feel this way, however they appear distant emotionally or rather not be upfront with taking of their emotions till someone close, as with their playful and spontaneous they are deep down emotionally vulnerable and caring of others but shown in a rather lighthearted and communicative way. Displayed, Johnny on camera and all doesn't seem to publically display or make known of his emotional moments and etc, and that despite being one of the oldest, they still care a lot and face other emotional conflicts innerly thought they don't display as much as they're seen as dependable and taking care of others as the oldest ones. With your aquarius moon, you both are similar in that your emotional needs and feelings aren’t directly channeled or displayed at first. With aqua moon, as they rather open up eventually to the one they find trust and closeness with, new ppl/acquaintances coming into the life may not get to fully grasp your emotional sense of thoughts and may only be able to get the notion of your somewhat detached nature/closed off to ones you have yet to trust or be close to. Both of you guys are inquisitive and observant, however aquarius moon are observant like self aware of the final outcome or contribute to the big picture of all the details they intake. While gemini moons notice detailed things and small tidbits and things that comes through their mind. You both will be able to grow more open and navigate through the emotional space and company of each other with the similarities and with some differences regarding your thinkings, it will be a good development of new perspectives for each other. The communication will be very expanded upon, both being active mentally-wise and bonding together will bring new topics/ease at expressing oneself.

His mercury is in aquarius. Aha, these ppl communicate in a very intriguing, funny/expressive way that isn’t typically boring in a way. Either fromt eh way they speak or present their explanation, there’s something that is expressively creative or genius-like in the out of norm examples or speech they draw out. Becuz they think from different approaches to explaining the issue or concept, they’re good at making “sense” in some form, and others being persuaded at times and seeing a different perspective with their logic. So combined with Johnny’s gemini moon, the creative juices of humor and words with his aquarius mercury makes him quite the fun and mentally stimulating conversationer, at one point he’s basically enlightening u with deep social issues topics and talking about thoughts, then springing up a new topic about ten being scared of fruits and coming up with theories and jokes (or he’s gonna switch the topic again lol). With your aries mercury, u would enjoy his active perspectives and logic, mostly u would challenge it with ur own opinion and perspective and u guys were talk extensively on it, tho it may lead to banter mainly u attempting to stand by ur point for some topics, and sometimes u both would be laughing it off during a convo becuz u both thought it was funny and agreed with each other. Spontaneity and intellect in the mix is an enjoyable rollercoaster ride lol.

He has venus in capricorn~ Cue Johnny explaining the term “oh daddy”, cuz he himself is lowkey one- jkjk on the pg rated side, there’s a sense of security and trust that comes with reliability of each other here, where Johnny would like to be able to provide that sense of secureness, whether emotionally, or “materially”, that ties with the bond and connection that is made and also initiates and desires stability. Johnny wouldn’t be very upfront regarding his affections and physical displayment of love or feelings, but it would be inherently noticed by you eventually, you may be a bit oblivious at first like “..? Oh he did something thoughtful becuz of me”. (Mark cheerleading in the audience: “oh dude he’s flirting”) Your pisces venus would give words of affirmations and selfless help and attentiveness at him, it may just be watching and wandering around him as you guys talk or eat. And he would also notice, tho similarly he may be a bit oblivious but probs realize quicker, ‘oh that’s why u said that-‘. I feel like you would initiate physical touch/skinship to express yourself, it may be subtle like hand holding or just playing around with his sleeve or hand. Johnny would be smiling softly inside, he would have a sliight lift of the corners of his lips in reaction to wut ur doing, cuz he wanna play it cool/he’s “totally not paying attention to wut ur doing”. Cute vibes yall.

Lastly, Johnny has mars in leo. Yuh, get into it, lol Johnny definitely is ambitious and also driven/puts it into action of it. The passion these placement exhibit and hold within their emotional desires and channel it through to get the success/outcome that they work for, Johnny is very talented in many aspects. Dancing and with a focus of the things they love, like for johnny being an idol, performing, interacting with fans international and in korea, and having a good time all through becuz that’s wut their heart is at. A focus/motivation that pushes through from their heart’s ambitious passion. (That probs didn’t make sense lol) Anyways paired with your capricorn mars, yall are power duo in this aspect of working till you meet ur goal/get that bag lol. In all seriousness, you both are ambitious, and where the amount of hard work lies is evident in both of yall. I would say leo mars are more reactive regarding their ambitions and dreams, linked to it in a firey manner or expression, like they’re charging through to it. Whereas your capricorn mars may be more pragmatic about the process but also charging through to meet ends of the goal. Though his leo mars does opposite your aquarius moon, the attraction drawn through each others difference in manners and execution is enough to create a expansion of new perspectives for each other as u guys spend more time. In the end u both will be able to understand each others own initiation and process of thinking and action, and the team work and work ethic together will be formidable to others ahaha.

Overall, it’s very interactive, fun, and a learning and experiencing relationship that is also calming in some aspects. The talkative couple, that would even say weird shit conversationally lol and everyone would not bat an eye becuz it’s “normal”. Goofing around and then being very close to each other that u both are comfortable in that aspect, so expressing your feelings to each other and dates would be cute and fun learning and experiencing from each other and hardships that you both face together to pull each other up for the better, very mutually caring. Yall are memey couple combined with intellectual sense of wisdom and care, and also power in focus of ur own passions and ambitions. The vibes you both exude together ->🍓✨🐠☀️🦭💅💞👯‍♀️📽 🍧 👜

[walkingtaetrash]

okay as someone who like is literally enamored with tortured males who learn to love from their extroverted and Type 2 significant other, it wasnt strange for me to fall for Jasper Hale.

What I fucking hated though? was when my minority ass read that this dude was a part of the confederate army. like my heart SHATTERED when i found out that he fought for enslavement and then also wanted to be higher in ranks??? like my heart BROKE.

smeyer didn’t even fucking help because his “redemption” was that “oh wait but he fell in love with some latina” and AS A FUCKING LATINA i was like: w h a t . t h e. A C T U A L FUCK???

like okay so it was fucking bold of her as a writer to fucking write his past to be actually really fucked up, and lowkey i have so much love for Maria in the one way where i sympathize that she was a woman of color trying to survive off the land of her people that was stolen from her by America, and like what i hated was that the movie had sUCH POOR translations for the spanish, it was like so choppy to me and i was like ugh…

but anyways, back to how my heart broke because of jasper being in the wrong side of the civil war, after my heart was ripped to shreds, i read more and (one smeyer just is not the best writer she literally ate Khaki’s ass and i mean the pants), i saw that he began to hate himself because he could feel the pain of all the newborns emotions when he killed them, i could only connect that to the war he fought in. i began to think, did he think back to those times and think on how those he killed who were fighting for freedom felt? now that he was an Empath, did that mean he felt the pain and tortured souls cry for justice when he went to all these schools and witnessed all these POC finally after that long trek, now going to school unsegregated, and then like learning about history only to find out he was on the wrong side? like i just feel like.. the character that smeyer poorly developed, was actually someone we prob would’ve sympathized with.

i don’t condone his fucking actions for fighting in the confederacy cause that’s literally disgusting, fuck white supremacists, but i feel like as a boy who was trapped in that environment and being told that what made a man was being in the army, and desperate to survive this war shit he moved up ranks, and even after he died and was changed, falling in love with a woman who manipulated him (which was like also something i sympathized for maria cause she needed to in order to survive as a WOC) and feeling every death and loathing his existence, until finally he wanted to change?

where he was ashamed to tell his past to bella and fought the inner turmoil that was how to not be a monster as before and now, and finding alice who taught him that there was another way like eating animals instead of humans and learning from the past to change in the future,

i feel like that’s the present jasper. the one who learned the right way of thinking and getting on the right path. we can hate his path, it’s a given, but i can’t find myself to hate him over just smeyers lack of development for her LITERAL characters that she created, and instead connect the dots myself. she lowkey also barely had any poc in this damn book and i hated her for that. but anyways.

BUT WAIT THERES MORE TO MY HATE FOR HER WRITING: yall what i hated was that she wrote Maria as a woman that we were supposed to hate right? but like, the stereotype about latina women is that we are seductresses and like are lowkey manipulative because we know how to seduce and make men lust after us, was used to “manipulate” this “poor pitiful white male”. i hated that. it literally fed into the thinking of like that women should hate on latinas cause that’s what they do they seduce our men and manipulate them. like please bitch. and the way it was just point blank a fucking minority as the villain. ugh it makes me so mad. anyways.

that’s just my thoughts rn and i wanted to write it in words. y’all can disagree cause even sometimes i fight myself on this too. idk it’s just me feeling like as a reader i make the world that she wrote better.