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ddeonudepressions · 2 years

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get to know me game!

tagged by: @dearhee 🙏 💕

no pressure tags!! @redm4ri @haknom @blossomnct @sunoksunny @delcakoo @taejays @hannikz @mazeinthemiroh @soov and anyone else who wants ofc!!

birthday: oct 3rd skz chan is my bday twin and loml 🙏 (fr i miss him sm 🙁)

favourite colour: sage green but i really like all colors if they don't blind me 💀

do you have pets? no 💔 i used to have a parrot but we gave him away 😭😭

how tall are you? um i will get bullied but im 5'4 last time i checked 💀

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

like....4-5?? idk i haven't bought any in a while

favourite song: ditto, devil by the window, mixed up, attention please, opening sequence, muddy water, all in, beside you, and many more just stalk my Spotify to know 💔

favourite movie: train to busan 😭😭

who would be your ideal partner?

hmm.... idk tbh but probably someone who's like me but no yk? i really like the familiarity but ik i wouldn't handle another me💀 maybe someone like beomgyu yk or junhan or jay or hongjoong or hyunjin or seungmin. i think me and hongjoong r soulmates fr we would be are happily married ❤️.

do you want children? tbh yes? kinda? i think it would be nice but idk i dont mind it.

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

no I am a good child come on now

what colour socks are you wearing? blue and black

favourite type of music: all of it i will listen amd vibe to everything fr. i wouldn't say i hate a song yk id say i wouldn't look it up but if it was playing ill do a lil dancey dance

how many pillows do you sleep with? 2 and 2 tiny plushies and 1 decorative one

what position do you sleep in? idk what it's called but i basically become a tiny ball of sleep and drown in the covers 💀

what don’t you like when you’re sleeping: probably when someone wakes me up when i just started to drift off. like?!??? helour leave me alone??!?? and probably when my feet r too cold the rest of my body.

what do you have for breakfast: depends sometimes a savor yomy sandwich sometimes a sweet yomy cereal. sometimes black coffee sometimes a latte sometimes a cup of tea of u will.

have you ever tried archery? once at gym hurt myself bad didn't like it 👎👎

favourite fruit: strawberries apples and oranges (i miss eating oranges 💔)

are you a good liar? not to self diagnose but i might be a psychological lair 😂😂🤥

what’s your personality type? it was enfp i think but ill have to redo the test soon lol.

innie or outie? im gonna say this is about being introverted or extroverted 💀💀 I am a bit of both tbh.

left handed or right handed? a leftiee

favourite food: pasta or fries 🙏

favourite foreign food: kushary idk if anyone knows it but it's Egyptian and its just 💔💔

am i clean or messy? id say clean i try to keep my surroundings tidy as i can yk

most used phrase: (all memes from Walmart enha) hello?? ayo?? huh?? oh. slayyy - fr - ong- 🙏- naurrr - NO. - die. - el oh el - kys. - el em ay oh - (person) (last negative thing they did) era - LMAO. - ok.

how long does it take for you to get ready: usually like 15-25 minutes including makeup outfit hijab and packing my handbag / bag yk

do you talk to yourself? all the time!

do you sing to yourself? if im not singing sleeping it's all i do. no family member has complained about my signing so I think it's a sign to start my career 😂😂🤘🤘

are you a good singer? i hope i am 😕 i think i have a decent voice i quite like any runs i do when signing sum LMAO 💀

biggest fear? cockroaches, confrontations and god 🙏

are you a gossip? i am THE gossip

do you like long or short hair? short hair. my hair is medium length rn but i like short hair more long hair has bad memories.

favourite school subject: I've always liked science general but idk anymore grade 9 wss brutal 💀💀

extrovert or introvert: id say both (again) cuz I enjoy talking and going out but also staying in w someone sounds so comforting

what makes you nervous: everything. my teachers. people staring too long at me. people laughing at me. (i cant tell if it's w me or at me most of the time :/)

who was your first real crush? grade 2 his name was assi i think that's how u spell it. he was also Syrian had blonde hair blue eyes and had my heart fr 💔

how many piercings? 2 one in each ear

how many tattoos? 0 (i am a minor and haram bro)

how fast can you run? i think i could run a good distance ye im not the athletic type but it's fun sometimes

what colour is your hair? chocolate brown with blonde streaks. very new look my hair was always been dark brown 💀

what colour are your eyes? brown 💔

what makes you angry: many many things having anger issues every little thing annoys me. im just gonna say top 5 lol

1.people who don't listen

2.people who look down on others

3. people who r literally nothing being jealous of others and making their lives hell( who wants a story time 😂😂)

4. getting blamed for something i had nothing to do with

5. having to be the mom of the house when i am a literal child.

do you like your name? ye I've learned to accept it 💪

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?

idm tbh but let just say if i have kids they both will be a mommy's girl/boy. cuz ye

what are your strengths? hm... im gonna say im honest ill tell people shit to their face no hesitation sometimes 💀. im strong?? idk. ima good manipulator 😂😂. id say im pretty understanding and comforting (at least i hope so) ig das it? idk not used to thinking about myself positively yk

what are your weaknesses? probably myself? like i do one small tiny mistake and suddenly i have no self worth, i deserve death, i mean nothing to anybody, everyone hates me snd is using me and i deserve it. and etc etc yk.

what is the colour of your bedspread? yellow 😕

colour of your room: yellow 😐 i need my own room fr

DONE THIS TOOK FOREVER BUT WAS MUCH FUN TY ELA SM FOR THIS LMAO 🙏🙏🙏💞💞❤️❤️

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xiaowhore · 2 years

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okay. okay. so i cannot . function . i lied im gonna rant about it now

//luke personal story 4 spoilers utc

i am Devastated. luke pearce is so. he is so much. this route is too much. i havent played through the other ps4 routes yet but i am fairly certain nothing could ever top this. luke has ruined me for anyone else. how am i supposed to go for the other boys nOW?!?!?!??! i can't. the entire time, ill be like This Is Wrong. This Doesn't Feel Right. My Heart Does Not Beat For You

first, i gotta praise the case: the story about the hidaka sisters was really good, especially for a personal story. i did not think they'd put this much effort on it?? it was really dark and holy fuck, nami's voice actor popped off. she sounded really fragile and- im gonna sound weird for saying this, but her screams were voiced really well. like Man. it made me feel so sorry for her.

mc was SO AMAZING in the last few parts of the chapter. she is so?? brave?? perfect?? heroic?????? I'D fall for her too!!!!!! she was crying but she still went by her own to save nami even though there was a low chance of survival 😭😭 luke is a worrywart for good reason!! mc worries about luke injuring himself but she's equally as bad when sacrificing herself for others!!! (dunno how the other choice went, but i picked the one where she provoked daniel and she got beat up........ i wonder if i could have avoided that....)

oh god the lake scene. mc did such a good job to escape from the car. nami gave me a scare when she deadass broke her finger so she could fit her hand through the cuff like what the fuck ma'am!!!!!!! when she was close to giving up, i was like NO. YOU CAME THIS FAR. YOU BROKE A GODDAMN FINGER. YOU CANT GIVE UP NOW!! so glad mc talked her out of it. its also horrifying to think about giving up on another person for your own survival and witnessing how theyd sink after they drown........ or even worse, their dead body floating on the water........ i was thinking no way tot would do that right....

ANYWAYS. CAN WE TALK. ABOUT KAJI YUKI. LIKE OH MY GOD. GIVE THIS MAN A RAISE HE DESERVES IT. his voice gave me chills when luke screamed for the first time when searching for mc like GOD. THE PAIN IN HIS VOICE. THE WORRY. THE ANXIOUSNESS. KAJI YUKI HOW DO YOU DO IT. MY HEART SHATTERED INTO PIECES. like i could feel how luke was so desperate to find the girl he promised to save, and IM JUST SO

I REALLY DID NOT EXPECT IT. THE DESPERATION SOUNDED TOO REAL. I CANNOT BE ANYMORE GRATEFUL THEY GOT KAJI YUKI TO VOICE LUKE PEARCE 😭😭 i am deceased. this chapter destroyed me.

THEN THEN THEN MC WAKES UP AT THE HOSPITAL. THE MOMENT BEFORE AARON AND XU WALKED IN WAS SO SWEET. definitely punched my pillow in frustration at the cockblock even though i have full knowledge that the confession is gonna be at the anniv card lol

i am just so. god. idk whats gonna happen in the anniv card, i just hope when luke tells her the truth about his illness, she wont cry too much......... why must luke be the dying cannon fodder. was the long lost childhood friend private detective national security bureau agent character not interesting enough hyv

#theyre so sweet i just want them to be happy forever ughhhhhh #luke/mc is def my fav relationship (not biased)#their chemistry is overwhelming #mao — !

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darth-vading · 7 years

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Damn

#i was like rlly good and productive for like 2 days #and now im back down again #i wish i had regular days #not up and downs #i just wish things were the same #idk #i miss the way things used to be for me #i miss waking up at 4 am every morning to make sure i seen the sunrising #and climbing trees at 2 am in the dark with a flashlight #and staying up all night and listening to music that made me cry happy tears #now its just #sleeping at 9 pm and crying about not knowing what im gonna do when i turn 18 #and not being able to know whats real and not believing i can ever be like actually loved??#like i guess im just scared about a lot of things #and thats normal i think but it just feels really bad and i dont know what to do about it #and i dont talk to my therapist about it bc i dont want to have to keep switching meds #bc im just tired of having to be on meds to feel like actual emotions??#like i cant even like feel regular shit anymore? like everything that happens im just like neutral about it #and it kind of pisses me off bc i hate when other ppl do that #but like ive started doing that #and im not venting to most of my friends anymore bc im like afraid of them getting tired of it #so i do it on here instead which is bad too #i need to figure out shit #sorry this was just a weird rant #mine #personal

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flyingspicerack · 3 years

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Ok i wanted to make an updated ref for Anise and write out lore thats more detailed than it should be, i only use tumblr on mobile and havent used it in years so idk how to put a readmore anymore…..

I headcanon that before Brett showed up, the loose gang of Reagan, Glenn, Gigi, Andre, and Myc were all working as the task force/extraction team/whatever it is was, overseen by Rand, then he hd his breakdown, Reagan took over for an undetermined short amount of time before the current events of the series. So, i headcanon the task force was put together 3-5 years before the current series. Ok its not really a solid headcanon, but more of a stand in amount of time i use when daydreaming.

How Anise ends up at Cognito is… silly. So, Anise lived in Colorado During college and then started at the illuminati right out of college working on specifically cannabis science. Thats what they wanted, but Oprah had other things she was more worried about over at Triange Corp (as Anise calls it) like Anise’s background of conspiracies and cryptids surrounding the Denver area. Sssssso as a couple years passed and Oprah continued to lie about upwards mobility, Anise found themselves looking for more, specifically Cognito Inc.

When Anise lived in CO, they were a casual raver (dont think Andre’s coachella or burning man, think the PLUR kandi kids with their upbeat happy hardcore) and were missing the good old days, so they decided to make their way to a little underground rave in DC. They meet up with some people who eventually pull Anise into another group pf ravers and within that group, Andre is there. Anise is introduced to the group, and they party a little while, do some party drugs, then at some point the group gets split up, Andre with the other half. A couple more hours go by and its maybe 3 or 4 am, Anise is ducking out a back alley door to get to their car to make their way home and they find, you guessed it, Andre half passed out in the alley. They recognize him and theyre too nice for their own good and think “hm, shit, i wouldnt live it down if this guy i kinda met at a rave died in an alley cause i didnt help him, sooooooo its either i live with that on my conscience or i take him to my place to help him not die and the worst that happens is i get arrested for kidnapping.” And they shrug at the thought, gently pick up the lanky motherfucker, and take him back to their place.

So Anise puts Andre to sleep on their couch with a puke bucket just in case and goes to sleep themselves, and eventually both wake up, Anise first, and Andre from the scent of eggs and toast. And he sits up rubbing his head, sees Anise across the room (they live in a just a tiny modest studio) and is bleary eyed like “the fuck is going on?” And so Anise turns to him and brings him water and a plate of food and is like “its Andre right? We met last night at the rave, you were passed out in an alley and-“ and he cuts them off, genuinely surprised he wasnt taken home by a friend but thanks them. And the two of them just lazily chat over breakfast, they eventually get to the topic of work and hes like “im head of biochem at a company, you?” And Anise is like “cannabis research at… an institution.” And Anise has their hands together in kind of a triange position and Andre like goes for it cause he caught on to them being vague and if anything he could call an extraction team and just deadass asks “are you illuminati? Cause im cognito.” And Anise practically leaps across the couch and is like “COGNITO???” And Andre does that cute little giggle he does and nods.

The two get to talking, Andre confused as to why they would want to downgrade to cognito and is like “oprah is a bich and promised me shit and never followed through, besides we dont even have any weed icons associated with the company, Cognito has Snoop AND Cheech and Chong.” And then Andre schemes and is like “J.R. And Rand would probably be pretty stoked if i recruited someone from the illuminati, lemme see if i can pull some strings.” Anise is like, flabbergasted not sure if this is really gonna work but after a month or so, WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA’AM they got the greenlight. (I also think Andre and Anise hang out on days off and probably make out a little)

Then basically jumps into the little comic i started….. hguirehfjlnhjfdkjfjfjfjdkskhfhjdekkfshjjifs

Plz be nice to me

#inside job #inside jobsona #inside job oc #inside job sona #inside job self insert #my art #i got diagnosed with covid so since im in quarentine for like 10 days #ill probably post a shit ton and clog the ij tag and i would say sorry if i was #drug ment tw #also like if anyone is looking for inside job friends to talk abt ocs and stuff….. i need some #i only talk to my roomies abt ij

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degenrcy · 4 years

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traitor (chapter 2)

tenko, what a nice name. did you like the pictures i sent?

warnings: same tags as last time! sending nudes, (bad) dirty talk, gaslighting, unhealthy/toxic relationships, mentions of stalking, it starts getting dark here, (plz lmk if anything needs to be added in either tags!)

words: 1.5k

“are you sure tenko?”

“yes i’m sure. come on, don’t leave me like this.”

your face burned at what tenko was talking about. you had been on the phone for a few hours, and he had... gotten excited. you stared at the attachment in your messages, tenko sitting in his chair, pants pulled down to mid-thigh. you've never seen it in real life, a guy's boner tenting his boxers. he was hard because of you, and you were solely responsible for satisfying him.

it was another foreign feeling weighing in your stomach- but it must be a good one. he made you feel good all the time, complimenting the pictures you took in the school bathroom, telling only you his name, defending you when the other server members would start teasing you.

"w-what do you want me to say?" but you had never done something like this.

"you don't have to say anything," tenko was breathing heavily, blowing against the mic occasionally. the faint slicking noise made you nervous, even though you usually feel so safe and relaxed around him. "i really want to be to touch you, i wanna feel your t-tits through your little school shirt, lift up your skirt and... fuck, what do you have on?"

"ah," you pulled up the waistband of your sweatpants, you knew what he meant by that. "blue, y-your favorite color, right? they're soft and-"

"i want to pound your tight little pussy so fucking hard."

your lips pressed into a thin line, heart catching in your throat and voice falling silent, only the male's heavy breathing and fast fapping noises being heard. every swallow of spit to try and moisten your dry mouth made you think of kissing tenko, made you think how his friends make fun of him for being inexperienced and how they said that you would 'help out' with that problem that one time as a 'joke'. you didn't like being the butt of the joke, and this wasn't a good feeling anymore. it made you feel dirty, like tenko was trying to use you for one thing only.

y/n: tenko sometimes i feel like u just want something out of me... ten: what?? wtf are u talking about : dont get mad please. its just when u talk to me like that at night time it makes me feel like u want something from me like to do stuff to me idk im just being stupid and anxious about this whole thing if its a thing we have... tenko? im sorry i didnt mean to make you mad or anything ten: its fine im not mad if my girl doesnt want to do something i wont do it

you and tenko talked for every possible waking hour you could, from when you wake up to when your eyes finally shut and 3 am to open back up bright and early at 7 am. 4 hours of sleep isn't bad, you still manage to wake up for school, your friends don't need to be so worried all the time. mina was starting to piss you off, tracking how long you spend on your computer, saying that even if you turn your activity off she can always tell. iida constantly was telling you to be weary of people online, his speeches straight out of a cliche school assembly to scare you about the internet and 50 year old predators. tenko wasn't a fucking predator, he's your boyfriend!

nearby classmates turned their heads to slowly look at you, judging eyes beating you down worse than any punch or kick to your body. bakugo eyed you wildly, lip curling up his face until his gums showed.

"are you some kinda fuckin' idiot or something? do you know what this dude looks like, met him? i hope to god you didn't meet up with him-"

"what the fuck is it to you, bakugo?" the words were spilling out quicker than you intended, saying hurtful things you didn't really mean. the girls looked at each other- at you- worriedly. aizawa told you to leave class, not that you wanted to sit and be interrogated by a class of people who thought they knew everything about you. they were so worried about their own ideals, they didn't know how the real world worked, and the reality of the situation was that just because you met tenko online didn't make the feelings you shared any less real!

if he wanted to do something bad to you, he surely would've done it already.

if tenko wanted the relationship to be private because he 'didn't want the others making stupid jokes and not taking us seriously', you'd comply. if tenko wanted you to send cute pictures- which were always followed with a 'how about a picture of what's underneath?'- you'd comply, giggling cutely at his misspellings in his rushed compliments. he’d go silent for a few minutes, followed with a gross picture of what was under his pants. if tenko claimed to see you at your favorite fast food place-

"i never told you my favorite fast food place." your fingers stopped moving against the keyboard, anxiously running your nail against the grooves of the wheel of the mouse. it was the same model tenko had, but pink. he bought it for you, of course you would use it.

"what? yes you did, how else would i have known where it is?" tenko laughed, very awkwardly. he didn't laugh much, and definitely not like that.

"but i seriously don't remember telling you-"

"yes you fucking did. what are you trying to say?" he snapped at you, speaking through his teeth all through voice chat, all in front of the others.

"she's trying to say you're a fuckin' stalker." roki- who wanted you to call him nii-chan all the time for some reason- spoke through chews of whatever he was eating. there were other people playing with you, and tenko just embarrassed you in front of them. who were you to hold your tongue after being yelled at by some dude, boyfriend or not? it was time to give tenko a piece of your mind, you were frankly tired of him acting so childish all the time.

y/n: can you please stop being so mean to me all the time :( ten: idk u accused me of something really fucked up earlier. im trying to be cool around everyone else, but u keep making it obvious

you blinked a few times to make sure you were truly seeing what you were seeing. you didn't even accuse him of anything, it was his stupid fucking friend. but if you went and called roki nii-chan in front of him, it would be wrong, right? maybe that's exactly what you'd start doing, just to piss him off a little and give him a taste of his own medicine.

ten: stop fucking calling roki nii chan ur playing right into his game : guess u saying ur uncomfortable around him was a lie, u probably like him too lol : when ur done acting like a bitch u can talk to me

you shut off your phone for the night. the only night you finally had a chance to get some real sleep, yet you still were up late. you knew tenko was still up too, he always was. the incriminating 'playing Leage of Legends for 6 hours' tab on his profile mocked you. maybe if you just apologized, calmed him down, everything would go back to normal.

this time, roki said he saw you outside somewhere. before you could even try to pester him with questions if he was sure, he listed off the things you were wearing, how your hair was up, how you looked so different in civilian clothes, you were cuter in person.

you asked if tenko was with him.

he told you to call him brother again, maybe then he would tell you if tenko was with him.

he wasn't.

you didn't know what to think anymore. maybe your friends were right all along, maybe your relationship wasn't real. or maybe they were just stuck-up wannabe heroes with a savior complex. if they really cared, if they really gave a fuck, they would help right? tenko was always full of advice and intelligent takes on things, he sent you articles from unofficial websites along with obscure youtube videos with 42 views that were always criticizing hero society, calling out the faults of the top heroes or the discrimination against people with mutated and dangerous quirks or who look 'non-human'. it was enlightening, it was more than you would ever possibly learn at school.

he was better than everyone else, your heart hurt when you weren’t with him, you wanted to be able to talk to him again. a few paragraphs apologizing for how you behaved, how you missed him, followed with a ‘please talk to me again. i don’t know what i’d do without you, i have no one else.’ you waited nearly a day for a response, pillow sheets damp and a seemingly permanent dip in your bed from how long you laid in it that day.

when he finally read it, he called you, only saying one thing.

"do you want to come see me?"

"of course, tenko."

#tw.gaslighting #tw.toxic relationship #tw.grooming #tw.underage #tw.stalking #shigaraki tomura/reader #shigaraki tomura x reader #hmm #tw.dubcon #?

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sydneyshipsstuff · 4 years

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so uh last night at like 4 am i couldnt sleep, decided to walk my dog, and came up with this bad boy. It’s a rough draft, though. um @professional-benaddict read it and told me to post it, so whatever rafni says goes.

-Little! Peter with like everyone lmao (platonically), but main pairing is Tony x Peter. everyone is 18+ and Littles are known. but yeah, I call this “uncanonically Canon AU” because it follows canon character tropes (except Peter).

----------------

so i LOVE the doctor trope w stephen and tony to death, like probably a lil too much, but hear me out

--canon tony and the avengers with not canon (aka powerless) little peter

--im thinking how they met is before peter became classified as a little, he was smart smart. so, he still gets the internship, but a real one this time.

--hes hanging out with the other interns when he feels himself regress. he freaks and goes to hide in a bathroom or something

--he runs into (probably pepper??) someone and they help him get out of the tower because he's obviously very vulnerable

--they (pepper?) take him to the hospital to get tested and find out hes a high care little. once they find out peter freaks out because omg he cant work like this

--(pepper?) assures him that they will figure it our, but with no CG, and just for plot sake, he also is living alone at this point so they dont feel comfortable sending him home, so he stays overnight, at least, in the hospital

--(pepper?) goes to talk to tony himself about this since hes the one who chose and hired the interns. tony isnt quite sure what to do because peter is one of the best in their group

--(pepper?) suggests that he go have a one on one talk with peter and see what the boy wants to do with his future, and also meet with the doctors to see what they think is best for his future

--now, tony has met peter a few times, and the kid is pretty cool, but he never really cared about him (harsh, but canon tony is pretty reserved so yuh) so, when he goes into the hospital room to talk with him, hes mentally preparing to never see peter again

--but, when he walks in, he sees peter sat on a cot carefully coloring in an avengers coloring book, and his entire aura is different and /adorable/

--as if he wasnt already kinda done for, when peter notices he's there, he looks up, eyes blown wide and a kid-like face on full of awe

--he sits on the end of the bed and they simply stare at each other before peter finally gets the courage to ask why tony is there, stuttering through it like an adorable mess

--tony freaks out, because as good as peter is, he planned on letting peter down, but now that hes here, all he wants is to see the boy.

--instead he smooths his nervousness and easily asks about how the boy is doing. he asks if peter has a CG, and predicably, peter just sadly shakes his head

--anyways i dont really know how this part would be worded, and it probably wouldnt happen in just one day, but eventually tony asks peter if he wants tony to take care of him

--peter is a cutie and accepts, again dont really have this part planned out, im akward when it comes to writing about the adopting of a little

--he goes with tony and since he lives in the tower, he also gets the avengers as glorified CGs. now this is the part i LOVE

***added part by Rafni:

"I’d imagine that Peter would just be kept in the hospital, like he doesn’t need any meds nor saline so he doesn’t even have a drip nor is he hooked up to any monitors. He is just there in the hospital pyjamas colouring and waiting for someone to take care of him🥺👀"

And since there’s no medical concerns (anymore) the nurses would have more time to just chat with Peter and make sure he is like mentally taken care of 🌸🌸

---

tony stark- he's obviously the main man and does all the main caring. hes the one who sleeps with peter and makes sure he gets food, and plans the days. he also sometimes will hand make little gadgets (safe ofc) to occupy peter. he gets peter little engineering/inventing kits and will hold back any groans he has as peter hits his leg with a plastic hammer and screwdriver. he also is the one who is ALWAYS there, when he cries, when he's happy, when he's sad.

thor- he lets peter play with his hair, and even lets the boy snuggle, and sometimes even chew on, mjolnir (because of course peter would be worthy)

steve rogers- he lets peter look at and hold the shield. one day he finds the boy curled like a cat dosing on the inside of it

natasha- she speaks in russian to him, and when he goes outside to the park, shes there making sure no one disturbs him

wanda+sam (i had an idea for them when i originally thought of this, but i cant remember it now :/)

bucky- he lets peter also mess with his hair, although more rare than thor, but he does let peter suck on his metal fingers when hes really small, and will scratch peters scalp with it, the metal scratching much better than normal skin. also if he ever gets a fever, the cold of the arm feels amazing on his forehead

bruce- not strictly canon since hes more sciency than doctor, but i imagine bruce is the one who does checkups and takes care of the meds when peter is sick

stephen- he doesnt do it often, plus he's not at the tower much, but hell do little harmless "magic" tricks to excite Peter and when peter gets grumpy, stephen will give him a little stress spell thing to calm peter down

peter quill- i imagine hes the one who is down to do lots of fun stuff, but is also the most reckless towards the actions suited towards littles, getting a lot of scolding from tony. also, he has great taste in music, so when peter has bursts of energy, he'll bounce around the room dancing to old 80s music

rocket- hes the closest peters ever gonna get to a pet, and with lots of bribing from tony, rocket /occasionally/ lets peter pet him and feed him "treats", sometimes peter will ask rocket to do a trick like jump or spin, but rocket with always decline...at first. peters trademark pouts do the trick because either rocket will concede and hurt his pride, or tony will see and threaten rocket into making his little boy happy. its always worth it to see the happy little squirms and claps

gamora- she's the resident story teller. when its bedtime, she'll share her cool space stories, leaving out the gory/scarier aspects. it always does the trick as hes out in minutes. sometimes hell catch her and peter q engaging in loving activities (ie kissing, hugging, whatever), and he'll just giggle away, and as embarrassed as gamora gets, not being an openly affectionate person, she might just go to the extreme to hear the cute giggles out of the little boy

clint- hes pretty chill with peter. he also likes to play games with the boy, playing things like peek-a-boo when he's super small, or playing darts when he feels older. tony isnt /too/ happy about it, but its better than quill so he doesnt say anything.

pepper is there too because i love the idea of tony working away somewhere and pepper calling peter in, handing him a few sheets of paper, sometimes actual documents, sometimes just scratch paper to entertaim the boy, before asking peter to deliver them to tony. she always has a smile when peter eagerly nods with his whole body before running to the office to give tony the papers. it almost always ends with peter in his lap, but it /always/ ends in tony praising him, saying something along the lines of 'theres my little helper boy. look at you'

---

--on any particular day peter wakes up aged up, he doesn't even miss his old internship because this life is so much better, although on these days tony actually lets him help with some safer stuff in the lab with him

--also, they are still the avengers and still have to save the universe. tony leaves him in the care of Happy or Pepper, trusting them both to handle him. sometimes, it ends in disaster. sometimes, they are lucky enough to find happy laying on the couch, with a drooling little boy soaking his suit

--no matter how things end up, it never gets old being able to come home and cuddle up with the reason tony wants to save the universe.

--its no surprise peter is able to help the man just as much as tony helps him. tony stops locking himself up so late at night so he can put peter to bed and cuddle up. he stops drinking when he's stressed, instead finding his boy and reading a story to him. his hookups end, he wants to be there for peter all the time. he gets more work done, the added bonus of having a pretty little boy in his lap helping keep his mind on track.

--tony still has his canon issues, but having peter there makes everything a little more manageable. and when he eventually gets too old to be ironman, its okay, because his universe is lying in bed, a red pacifier in his mouth, and a family of superheroes softly arguing about who the boy loves most

--and despite tony being a narcissist, he knows this is not that, when he thinks that without a doubt he is peters favorite. after all, peter helped him see the good inside the bad

---

so uh yeah thats all i had to say. maybe in the future it will become an actual thing, idk. i still have so many projects im working on first. feel free to add whatever you want to it though !!

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daaziscoolbesties · 3 years

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[REPOST] MY 2K WORD COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS OF RANBOO’S LORE STREAM

‼️‼️This post contains lore spoilers from Ranboo’s 4/23 stream, “The Enderwalk Saga. Chapter 1: The Lessons”. If you haven’t seen that stream don’t read ahead unless you want spoilers‼️‼️

disclaimer: this isnt really an analysis as much as a bunch of commentary and half-baked theories.

-on the way to the mansion he was sort of talking to himself saying stuff like "i'm good i'm good" which m a y be a normal thing but also maybe it's not and it flew over our heads cause he talks to chats and donos like that so often

-again, this one may just be a normal thing but when he was climbing up the stairs in the mansion looking for foolish, he repeats some of his words like down to the exact same tone of voice and everything. 12:42, "this mansion is way too big actually. this mansion is way too big actually." (why the repeated actually? seems odd to me but again it might just be a normal thing that i haven't picked up on). (right after) "okay okay lemme find him lemme find him" again repeated words in the e x a c t same tone.

-does everyone know about ranboo's silk touch hands ability thing? or was that just a techno and ranboo main character moment. bc if it was, how would foolish know that ranboo could pick up the full cake after it'd been partially eaten. unless everyone on the sever knows about that in which case this means nothing. but if they d o n t know... how would foolish know? ranboo wrote about it in the do not read book so maybe if it's not a publicly known thing maybe foolish got his hands on the book and read it??

-14:53-ish, they're talking about the war room and how it was for tubbo or whatever and ranboo says, and i quote "he prepares for lore but he's never gonna do it." now funny thing is at first i couldn't tell if he said "war" like in reference to the war room or "lore". but after playing the clip over and over i can say with ALMOST 100% certainty that he said lore. there is a definite L sound at the beginning of the word. which either means a) this was a slip up (doubtful bc he said later that there were no mistakes), b) he broke the fourth wall because they were supposed to be rping at that point, or c) i'm completely wrong and he said "war" which leads down an entire other road of possibilities

-15:17 "are you a book reader?" "*checks inventory for do not read book* uh yeah i'd say i'm a book reader-" dunno how i didn't catch this the first time I HATE THAT DAMN BOOK

-15:18 there's blue in his hotbar. where did he get the blue.

-16:40 "it's like a metaphor- i have two minds: i have my normal self, my normal little shift-dancing self, and then the builder one. the builder one is demanding. it's a very demanding mind." ranboo then lets out a weird sigh after this. i feel like what foolish was talking about was an indirect(?) parallel to ranboo in and out of enderwalk, there's how he normally is, trying to do best for others, and then there's enderwalk, meeting up with bad guys and "demanding" things (its very late as i write this i really don't know what i'm talking about)

-17:11 "you have your panic closet" i'm sorry his what now 😀 no but seriously how the hell did i miss some of these

-18:04 "you're asking me if i remember?" very funny ranboo thank you for making jokes in these trying times

-18:25 WHY DID HE GET OUT THE AXE WHEN STARING AT THE BEE

-19:38 why did foolish hold the grass block- most of these observations probably mean nothing but- h u h - is that- i'm too tired for this

-19:54 "i never properly thanked you for the deal you made with me" so foolish got something out of this deal, we're not sure if ranboo did. "the green cardboard box" again do you mean dream's house- but seriously the only people i can think of on the server that are associated with green are dream and sam. and i have no idea what cardboard box could be referring to. foolish got a lime colored shulker from drista

-20:30 "we're supposed to only talk about it at a certain location" hmm now where would that be? panic room maybe? cause like usually after doing a big thing in the enderwalk state ranboo wakes up in the panic room so maybe? the deal was that they only talk about it in his house

-21:52 how does ranboo receive(?) the lessons? like are they whispered to him in his mind or is he seeing them as words in front of him like we see? hmm

-"Lesson 14: If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it." "gain a favor" don't you usually ask people for favors though? how does one "gain a favor"? anyways i'm pretty sure lesson 14 has to do with the deal foolish was talking about. (the deal explained because i now have info: at some point a bit ago foolish met up with ranboo and asked to make a deal, he'd gotten a shulker box from drista. the deal was that ranboo would have ownership of the box, it would be under his name but foolish rents/borrows it indefinitely. ranboo negotiated that if he took ownership of the box he would get a "war favor" from foolish where if something happens that creates sides, ranboo can ask him a favor that could change his side. but why would foolish want ranboo to have ownership of the shulker you may ask? well i have an answer for you. a theory actually but still. basically since drista technically isn't supposed to give out shit on the server if someone where to have that stuff then they may get in trouble. foolish wants to be able to use the shulker but if it gets found he doesn't want to get in trouble, so he can blame it on ranboo seeing as it's under his name.)

-22:16-ish "i still have this from when you *can't understand whats said here*" well i guess that sort of explains why he had the grass block? idk man (info update: he had the grass block from when ranboo threw it at him telling him to calm down like what ghostbur does with blue)

-31:35 "i figured out how to cause it" how to cause the enderwalk state

-38:30 "ninety three lessons" I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE KEPT SAYING NINETY THREE AND NOT NINETY FOUR AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY LMAO

-39:01 "it's all for the greater good" okay well when are you gonna start thinking about yourself and not everyone else for once huh. self care bitch.

-40:31 he started holding the axe when he was looking at sam- gonna say it i really don't like that axe ahahah- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THE AXE IS NAMED "axe of ender" I DONT LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

-41:53 is there something?? physically keeping him from telling sam??? or maybe it's sort of like his enderwalk state taking control to make him shut the fuck up??? so many questions and approximately zero answers

-43:18 ranboo raising his voice legitimately scares me 😀👍

-"Lesson 27: Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down." showed up when he was thinking about and REMINISCING about the community house 👀👀

-"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone." showed up literally after he said that he thinks he can trust the other people on the server enough to tell them about what he did

-"Lesson 67: Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." this is different from the others because there doesn't seem to be at least a semi-direct connection to it? unless maybe at the time ranboo was near something he may have "helped with"? not sure about this one

-"Lesson 94: DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" yeah yeah i get it i get it he's fucked up some shit in enderwalk i don't feel like analyzing this thanks

-OH OH NOTICE HOW HE SAYS "REMEMBERING" WHEN THE LESSONS SHOW UP. IMPLYING THAT THIS ISNT A NEW THING, ITS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NOW HES REMEMBERING IT. MAYBE HE WROTE DOWN THE LESSONS WHEN HE WAS IN ENDERWALK AND NOW THAT HES BEEN EXPERIMENTING ITS BEEN EASIER FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THOSE ENDERWALK MEMORIES

-okokok the experiments are that he's been e x p e r i m e n t i n g on how to purposefully induce the enderwalk state. and we know now that it wasn't from the pain of the water because on the stream afterwords he said that it's caused by the intense fear of something happening. and so the "side effects" of the experiments is that since he's in enderwalk more often(?) he starts remembering more things from it

-OH MY GOD WAIT "there is a reason sam, there's so many reasons, theres ninety three of them" (44:47) WHAT IF EVERY LESSON IS TIED TO A QUOTE UNQUOTE "reason" THAT RANBOO THINKS HES A BAD PERSON/NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP BUT HE SAYS NINETY THREE INSTEAD OF NINETY FOUR BECAUSE THE NINETY FOURTH LESSON DOESNT HAVE A REASON YET/HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT HAVING A REASON

-dude honestly the whole sam part hurts so much this man is scarily good at acting

-46:46 "i cant put you in the prison you wouldn't be able to see michael anymore" bestie that's the point he doesn't want to accidentally hurt michael or tubbo in the enderwalk state—

-okay but there's no way that sam couldn't tell that ranboo was at least TRYING to confess to something- i feel like he definitely knows more than he's letting on because usually like when people do bad shit or admit to doing bad shit he's like in Prison Guard Mode™️ (he literally cut off ponk's arm because he stole some keycards or something) and whatever and idk what he knows but he definitely knows something and is trying to protect ranboo. or he's trying to manipulate him or smth either one works—

-50:38 "you are a good person" "i am?" you can hear my heart shatter. "yes you are" "i don't think so sam" "i do, even if you don't" "i really don't think so" and there it goes again

-51:25 hello badboyhalo i see you to the left of ranboo

-52:44 "but then my curiosity got the best of me" curiosity killed the cat, bitch

-52:54 "there's ninety three, ninety four, ninety- theres so many reasons!" SEE!! NOT ONLY ARE THERE THAT MANY LESSONS THERE ARE REASONS THAT CORRESPOND IM S O SMART—

-52:56 "i don't want to remember anymore!" *quietly brings forth my theory that when ranboo loses a canon life his memory gets wiped*

-53:13 "ive opened pandora's box" isn't the prison?? literally called pandora's VAULT??? so this m a y be a stretch but i'm thinking that maybe this could be taken in the literal sense that he "opened" the prison and let dream out (the sirens at the end of quackity's stream confirm that dream is indeed out)

-53:42 mans just straight up walked through a ghost i—

-55:37 so are we just gonna ignore the eleventh page of the book? "he's alive, but hopefully soon dream won't be"??? alright nevermind it's most likely bc when tommy came back he recruited ranboo in his plan to kill dream

-55:47 notice how he writes "what am i?" as opposed to "who am i?" no elaboration here idk what it could be

-56:08 just so it's clear for anyone who doesn't know- he's wearing armor at this point, and i'm like 90% sure that when he wears his armor water can't hurt him. and i saw someone say somewhere that like with splash potions when thrown it turns into a gas-like thing? so again, it didn't hurt him, he didn't get hurt. he said in the chill stream that he wasn't comfortable making it where his character had to hurt himself to do that. the thing that causes the enderwalk isn't pain, it's intense and sudden emotions like fear and stress. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

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mrmewants2die · 3 years

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Can somebody fucking help me? 😭

I have no fucking idea wtf is wrong with me, so im just gonna write it in here and maybe someone of yall will know. So im literally 24/7 thinking about skinni, calories, food, etc (when im not im either in social media, talking with someone, sleeping or creating fake scenarios LMFAO) and im just adicted. All i can think about is about loosing weight, cutting calories and all of that shit. I always try to restrict, it started with wanting to eat more healthy about 14 monthes ago but my eating patterns never stayed the same. Im pretty shure at some point last year i had BED but from a long time now i always restrict, i binge less and less, and when i eat more than i wanted (normally about 800~ cals, 3-4 times a week, but this number keeps decreasing ) it never goes over what I SHOULD eat in a day (2000 cals) Also when i eat more than what my messed up brain tells me to eat i try purging in some ways; vomiting, but not very often bc im almost always not alone at home, laxatives but i don't have more of them anymore, and exercicing, this one is the one i use the most especially if isn't night. But i don't always do something to contrast it. I will always try eating the less i can the next couple of days tho. I have fear foods (butter, pasta, etc) and safe foods (fruit, soy yogurt, noodles (WTF IS WRONG WITH ME 🤡)) I try to stick to my daily limit but tbh if i go max 90 calories over i won't freak out that much. Somedays i have no apetite and i feel like a mf anorexic queen but sometimes i want soo bad to eat. I haven't got my period in like 5 months, everyday when i wake up i ALWAYS do bodychecks, i have to look to the calories of everything and i feel bad whenever i eat more than the person whos with me, it doesn't matter if i haven't eat anything all day. Also ❗TW❗ i cut myself, it started as a punishment but now i also do it as a coping mecanism (bruh why am i like this 😭) and i try to stick to a very very very low cal daily intake. I weight myself weekly bc i prefer to see a bigger change in a week than smaller ones everyday but sometimes i dont check it bc im to afraid i have either gained or mantained. I have absolutely no fucking idea what do i have, and if you have read until this point (thanks lol) idc if u aren't an specialist if u may know what i have pls tell me something. I sometimes think its anorexia, the binge purge sub type, but i don't ALWAYS purge after eating more than i wanted, and idk i feel like i think its that just for attention...

Oh also, my body is the thing i hate the most in the world ✨☺️

#bts ed memes #ed mood #ed trigger #ednoez #kpop ed humor #kpop ed memes #tw ed things #anorexik #anorexjc #ed relatable #ed thinking #eating dosorder #tw ed related #tw ed vent #tw ed #anarexcya #anareksja #anorexja

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willykappymarnsmatts · 4 years

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Wrong Direction: Chapter 2 (K. Kapanen)

@moriellymakesmesoft

“I just got off the phone with Max,” it's been two weeks since I've moved into Will’s place, my stuff still in boxes all over the apartment.

“Oh?’ William responds, tossing me a smoothie from the fridge as we get ready to go to practice. I still go to sleep in tears and wake up with puffy eyes, but Willy makes me feel like everythings going to be okay, if not today then someday soon. “How is he?”

“Good,” I tell him, scratching at the back of my neck, refusing to look up at him knowing what comes next. “He asked me to come stay with him. Well, he didn't ask. He's kinda forcing me.”

“Oh,” Will says. He turns around and faces me with a look on his face of a mix of betrayal and hurt, and it makes me want to burst into tears. “Um, well, are you gonna go?”

“I have to, babe. He's my brother, and he said that if I don't come by myself he'll pack my things for me the next time he comes to Toronto.” I feel bad, but I do miss Max.

Willy just frowns at me. “When are you leaving?”

“Uh, tomorrow. He said he'd buy me a plane ticket.”

“To Montreal?! I could drive you!”

“I know, its okay. He’s the one paying so I don't really care honestly. Don't we have to get going?’

“Yeah,” he giggles, glancing at the watch on his wrist.

On our way to the arena, I take deep breaths to try to calm my racing heart and shaking hands. Seeing Kasperi this often still hurts just as bad as seeing him in bed with that girl. But the whole situation has given me a lot of inspiration for a new song that i've been working on, bouncing ideas off of Will day and night.

He notices my agitation and reaches over to grab my hand. “After this, you won't ever have to see him or me ever again.”

“Hey, don't say that,” I pout. “I'll be back and i'll move back in with you, if you let me, in a couple months. I just need a break from Toronto. Everything I know is laced with memories of him. I can't even enjoy your games because he's there.”

Will nods without looking away from the road. “You're always welcome at my place. We’re all still really pissed at him, you know. Mitch hasn't spoken to him since that night, and you know how Mitch is. Auston doesn't even look at him, and Zach’s only talking to him because he feels bad that everyone is making every effort to ignore him but me. The whole fucking team loves you, Y/N. Oh, and Derms took a slapshot at his ankle the other night and he had to sit out for an entire period.”

My eyes are brimmed with tears and I have to look up at the ceiling of the car to keep them from spilling over. “Can you let the guys know i'm leaving? I'll obviously talk to them, but I don't want to be the one to break the news to them.”

Will nods. “Of course.” he smiles at me then and looks away from the road for a split second to wipe away a tear.

•••

I sit in the third row to watch the boys’ practice and try to continue writing, but the yelling and pucks hitting the boards constantly is distracting, so eventually I give up and watch them skate. During a water break, I catch myself watching Kasperi. All he does is take a few deep breaths, but watching him like this, as if nothing ever happened, makes my heart shatter. Before I can look away, he looks up at me and I watch his entire face fall. He stares at me and I stare back. He studies me, as if to memorize me. I can't look away, and he refuses to skate away. He continues forward, until he's at the boards and we’re a few feet away from each other. Neither of us can pretend we weren't looking at each other. He stops, and so does my heart. And we just watch each other. Just stare. My heart is breaking with every moment that passes, and my stomach hurts, because he was my everything.

A whistle blows. Kasperi whips his head around. The sounds of the rink come back into my ears, and we’re both taken out of the world where we were the only two people who existed. He skates away, glancing back at me once before never looking back at me again.

•••

“Y/N,” Willy says as soon as I answer his facetime call. I've been in Montreal with Max for about two months and I released my song about a week ago. Wills is driving back from practice, which is when he gives me a rundown on how “incredible” he was and how he's gonna kick ass at the next game. But today he looks anything but confident, his forehead a mass of worry lines and his mouth turned down into a frown.

“Y/N, your song is saved on my playlist, and I got the aux this morning. After practice, it came on. Most of us were singing, and I glanced at Kap, and he was just sitting there in his stall. He wasn't moving. Just staring straight ahead.”

I sit up. “Woah, slow down. I thought Kasperi and I were finished.” When I moved away, after the day at the rink, Will told me that Kasperi stopped seeming to care. He was out with a different girl every two days, bringing random girls home every day of the weekend. It still hurts, but it hurt more to realize that our entire relationship meant nothing to him. But if Will is telling the truth, which I don't doubt he is, it makes everything a whole lot more confusing.

“I thought so too, but listen. I think that it was your voice at first, Y/N. He hasn't heard your voice in months. And then he heard the rest of the song, he listened without moving, and as soon as it ended he got up, in just his slides and shorts, and fucking left the room.”

I'm silent, letting Will talk. “The rest of us didn't know what to do, so I tried to follow him. I found him in the weights room, and he was in tears.” Will flicks on the turn signal and turns onto his street, then glances at his phone to see if he should continue the story. I nod at him, holding my breath to keep from breaking down at the thought of Kasperi.

“I went to him and sat with him, and he just cried. I haven't seen him cry since he thought I was getting promoted to the bigs and he wasn't. But he was sobbing. So I sat with him, and eventually he calmed down enough to choke out that he misses you. He told me the girls were a front, and that he hasn't been able to sleep ever since that night. And, Y/N, I dont think he's lying. His eyes always have huge bags under them and he's so shaky. So I asked him why he did it, but he didn't have an answer. He said he missed you and he felt like you didn't love him anymore because you were always out doing stuff for your album, but I told him that was bullshit and he said he knew it. He told me he can't breathe without, and that he hates that he hurt you. So I told him to talk to you, and he said he'd try to text you later today.”

“Damn,” I respond, not sure how to feel. “I want to love him again, but I don't know if I can trust him.”

“You don't have to. He knows he hurt you, and that he has to work to get you back, but I am asking you to please just try to talk to him, because fuck, Y/N, if there’s a such thing as soulmates, it’s you guys. You're both in so much pain. Take your time, keep your walls up, but just talk to him.”

“Okay. Okay, fine.”

“Thank you, beautiful best friend. I'm home now, so I'll call you back in a couple hours?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. See ya.”

He ends the call and I'm left in silence. Then my phone dings with a text notification in my hand, and my heart picks up speed. I know exactly who it is, and I don't want to look at it, not right away, so I throw it across the couch with a pillow on top of it.

I put my head in my hands and try to slow my speeding heart by taking a few deep breaths. “Fuck!” I yell, then silently thank Max for going out a few hours ago. I wipe my face with my hands and sit straight up.

I stare at the pillow my phone is sitting under, knowing without ever checking that there is a text from Kasperi Kapanen waiting for me. My phone dings again and my heart jumps. I stand up and rip my phone from under the pillow.

‘wrong direction huh’

‘i miss u’

I cover my mouth with my hand and my eyes brim with tears. I sit back slowly onto the couch and read over the messages two, three, four more times before unlocking my phone and tapping on the text bar.

‘Dang, how'd u know it was abt u?’

I smile slightly as I type out the message and hold my breath when I hit send. I don't have to wait even a second before the three bubbles come up on the screen.

‘no idea’

‘ig im just tht good’

I laugh and type out another response.

‘Imyt. How r u?’

I bite my lip when the text bubbles come up, and a few seconds later his response comes.

‘could be better tbh. can’t sleep @ the apt nymore so i spend the nites b4 games @ 1 of the guys places’

My breath catches at the words. Then another message pops up.

‘im so sry 4 everything’

I bite my lip and close my eyes, taking a breath.

‘Thx. I havent stopped thinking abt u’

‘me neither’

I take another deep breath. Kasperi was my favourite person, my person, for so long. It's scary how easily we can fall back into simple, comfortable conversation, as if nothing ever happened. So I decide to be straight up and honest with him, and if he really does still care about me, he’ll understand.

‘U broke me, Kasperi. I never thought tht u would hurt me, and u literally broke me. I miss u more than nything and it hurts so bad to b without u, but seeing u in bed with another girl, tht broke me. It felt like our whole relationship was built on lies, and tht u never actually cared abt me. So yeah, i cant stop thinking abt u, and i want to b able to love you again, but u broke my trust and idk if ill ever trust u like i did before.’

I hit send and feel like I'm going to be sick. Everything I type I’ve told Will and all the other guys, but after the day I left the apartment, I never spoke to Kasperi about anything. The three bubbles come up on the screen and I hold my breath, then they disappear. They come up and disappear a couple more times, until a message finally pops up on the screen.

‘i wish i could take back everything i ever did 2 hurt u, but ik its not tht ez. i rly do want 2 fix this, tho. would u b down to ft l8r?’

I can't breathe, but I manage to type out a response without screaming.

‘Sure. Just text me when ur ready’

I take a deep breath and click my phone off. I'm about to get up when my phone dings again. I glance at the message and it makes my chest feel like it's going to explode.

‘ok i will <3’

I smile down at the screen and go to plug in my phone so it's charged when Kasperi wants to call. I really don't know if I'll ever be able to trust him again, but the least I can do is give him a chance to apologize. He's already broken me so badly, even if he lets me down again nothing will compare to the amount of hurt I’ve already felt.

#kasperi kapanen #kasperi kapanen fic #kasperi kapanen/reader #kasperi kapanen imagine #william nylander #hockey imagine #toronto maple leafs fic #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #hockey fic #nhl #nhl hockey #nhl hockey fic #nhl hockey imagine #willykappymarnsmatts

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inspiringwhilerespiring · 4 years

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Get to know me?

Yoooo - yall remember Myspace, and people would blog survey posts lol. Well thats me, I’m people. And I just wanna write my lil heart out and avoid all of my real life responsibilities. So found a lil questionnaire thing and I’m gonna fill it out. Also lowkey like doing this every so often so I can look back on it and reflect and see how much I may have grown/changed/shifted viewzzz ya feel? :)

Sooo here yall go <3

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My neice maybe?

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

People who know me would tell me to put outgoing, but I honestly feel shy on the inside, so it just depends.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Literally anyone lmao fuck this quarantine

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Definitely

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Lets hope so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind souls <3 always notice how they talk to their friends and family, but even people they don’t know like servers or janitors, etc. that shit matters heavy.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A few homies

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nah not really, just depends

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Not sure -it’s been a min since I had a “deep” connection or convo that I can remember - but was probably with my bestie R’Bo

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Google that shit” lmao me, giving advice to my friends

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

TOUGH!!!! After Hours by The Weeknd is up there, Cayendo by Frank Ocean (been jamming his shit HAARD lately) and Inside Friend by Leon Bridges & John Mayer….but also been listening to albums - like Childish’s new album, Floreyyy for lo-fi shit, and also got into 070 Shake recently just to name a few.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCK YA

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah budddyy

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Idk, my bday party was lit?? And lots of river floats happened

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Lol

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Cant deny that there isn’t so yaaa

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Just moved, so don’t know em

21. What are you bad habits?

Procrastination lol and biting my nails

22. Where would you like to travel?

Literally ANNNYY-fuckin-WHERE!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Hmm I wanna say generally no, but I also always keep it one hunnnid with myself, and as much as I’d like to say I don’t have any - I think I def have insecurities with myself, that have the potential to become “trust issues” in certain relationships, but overall no. I live by the whole “you have my trust til you fuck it up” mantra

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Coffee in the morning lately, missed it and forgot how energized it makes me - gives me time to wake up and reflect/set daily goals

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Stomach forever :((((

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Scroll on my phone, pee usually, or feed my cat lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Tanner maybe?

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mom or my best friend R’Bonney - but any of my close friends and fam honestly

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Not directly

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Lol ok, so this is always changing…but lately (and by lately I mean the past few years) its been a no. I’m open minded though and am aware that I’m always changing my mind sooo who knows

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yeppperoo

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Honestly, those aren’t my “thing” lollike id prob laugh or be awkward or just have to be hellllla drunk - but like I wouldn’t mind Jason Momoa and Tom Hardy tossin me around

33. Spell your name with your chin.

hjaylkee

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Scocer back in the day - actually went and kicked it like a week ago for the first time in YEARSSSS - felt so damn good

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV, music forreeevverrr

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Lol story of my life

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“Soooo” then probably ask a question or some shit lol

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Hmmm…definitely have to be funny/have a good sense of humor. They’d have to be open-minded for sure. Up for trying new things, places, cultures, food, music, etc. Just have an adventurous spirit I guess when it comes to that. Have a good line of communication/openness - and just be able to have a deep/intellectual convo about anything and everything. Bonuses: taller than me, likes cooking, and going to music shows.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Amazon lol I hate shopping

40. What do you want to do after high school?

To go back to high school :( lmao so much id re-do, cant believe its almost been a decade

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Hell yeah, this is life my dudes, dont take it so seriously - we all fuck up at some point or another

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Something is on my mind for sure, or im just tired lol

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

DAMNNN WHAT so hard - I guesss if I had to pick, space…just because it’s more rare/harder to do I’d think.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My cat lol with his meowing ass

46. What are you paranoid about?

Lowkey a lot lol

47. Have you ever been high?

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Who hasn’t????

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

naw

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black probably, like half my wardrobe

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Of course

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My bad habits

56. Favourite colour?

Yelllllow :)

57. Favourite food?

Oh gaaawwd, literally anything - lately: PB&J’s, fries, wings, Mediterranean, Mexican, pickles, ice cream, ramenzzzz

58. Last thing you ate?

Pistachios

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Cofffeeee w creamer

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk, not off the top of my head - maybe something back in elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nah

62. Been arrested? For what?

Yeah lmao

63. Ever been in love?

Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

No its really not that interesting and idc to type it out

65. Are you hungry right now?

24/7/365

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Lol yes a few of them <333

67. Facebook or Twitter?

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Noooo

70. Names of your bestfriends?

R’Bonney is number 1

71. Craving something? What?

Foooood, and companionship? Lol

72. What colour are your towels?

Idk, random, mostly blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

A lot lol

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Lol no, but I have my one from my childhood in my room

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

1 - shout out to you Mr.Fluffy

75. Favourite animal?

I am fascinated by sharks; and like gators/crocs. But I have mad respect for elephants, they’re sooo damn smart and beautiful.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Dont have any on

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

BITCHHHH CHOC

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

All of them

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Tie-dye

80. What colour pants?

none

81. Favourite tv show?

Game of Thrones prob

82. Favourite movie?

Avatar or Shawshank Redemption

87. First person you talked to today?

Sissy

88. Last person you talked to today?

Friend on FT

89. Name a person you hate?

No one, maybe Trump? lol

90. Name a person you love?

Everyone, fr fr

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Nah

92. In a fight with someone?

Nah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Not enough <3

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Not enough <3

95. Last movie you watched?

The Decline on Netflix, short lil foreign oil, was deep/interesting

96. Favourite actress?

Not sure-Sandra Bullock? Or Meryl

97. Favourite actor?

Denzel or Morgan Freeman

98. Do you tan a lot?

Nah not anymore honestly

99. Have any pets?

Yessss

100. How are you feeling?

Mediocre

101. Do you type fast?

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Im sure

103. Can you spell well?

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Lol im nostalgic af, so yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes litttty tittyyy

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably :(

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Hell yeah brother, I’m from TX

108. What should you be doing?

So much shit lol

109. Is something irritating you right now?

The fact that I ain’t doing all the shit I should be lol

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yooo yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Prob my sister or my mom?? Lol I cry a lot, idk and idc

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Hayls?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

Back in the day

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Surprisingly, no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Nah, unless maybe if its homemade

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yeah occasionally, more of a Thai food chick or Japanese

119. Favourite book?

Kite Runner

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Low-key sometimes lol

121. Are you mean?

Hell noooo

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Ok, this is an interesting one lol I mean no, it’s not “okay” - since it usually constitutes lying/hiding/hurting someone - BUTTTT, for a lack of a better term - I wanna say it’s “normal”? But thats because I, personally, am on the fence about the concept of monogamy. Like no, I’ve never cheated nor experienced that in return - but the whole concept of monogamy and like that a person can love and only love or be with one person is WILLLLDDD and I can’t help but note that its a social construct that we, as a society, are conditioned to from the time we are born. Idk if that makes sense bc im high af lol but those are my thoughts…like to sum it up - cheating is fucked up and sucks, but at the same time its not all that surprising/shocking anymore, like borderline “normalized” just as divorces are and shit, so I feel like bc biologically we aren’t made to be with one person lol. I don’t condone it tho. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell to the naw naw

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Hmmm idk about that one, but also can’t deny it

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah of course, you’re talking to a hopeless romantic

126. Are you currently bored?

I guess we could say that

127. What makes you happy?

Food and close, loved ones

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, too much paper work

129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer, with my lil moody, sensitive ass

130. Do you like subway?

I did lol

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Story of my mf life lol literally all my exes are “best friends turned lovers” situation, so guess it would just depend lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Lol oh godddd; ok off the top of my head - Tupac - Keep Ya Head Up is what comes to mind; just a timeless song and the lyrics are still relevant/apply to this day and idk just really resonate with the message behind that song <3

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk, but it was probably SO dumb, and told to my parents lol

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Either or, lately open so my cat can go in and out lol

137. How tall are you?

5’6 mayyybeee 5’5 actually lol

140. Summer or Winter?

Fall!!

141. Night or Day?

Def a lil night owl, always have been

142. Favourite month?

April and October for weather at least

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but I try, and go through phases, I’m definitely mindful the older I get and more focused on my health I become

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

FUCKIN ALLLLL

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee but I like tea too, just seem to drink coffee more regularly

146. Was today a good day?

The grateful-to-just-be-alive in me wants to say yes lol but idk, felt off/unaccomplished and cried a lot, so no.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“This too shall pass”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sure why not

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“After all, what he had always wanted was just that: to know new places.” -The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

#survey #about me #haylee #thoughts #mine #questions #ask me anything #ask #lets chat #be my frieeennnddd

15 notes · View notes

itsjusta · 4 years

Text

WEEKLY UPDATE #8

Nov. 30

sakit my eyes today doe aish cos i cried gabii and also sakit my gums idk why 🤦🏻‍♀️

also went to have samgyup and then tambay at a cafe with aljane and claire doeee heheh its my first time to laag with cdo friends!!

Dec. 1

so sakit my gums aish kahilakon nako so makawala gana to eat cos sakit au i open ako mouth huhu and i realized today na wala ko ka drink pills yesterday 😤😤😤

also cried becos of kdrama the idiot!!!!!! they killed the character i like hmpppp

me and tala lang today doe cos mom and dad uli to medina napd aishhh

Dec. 2

still so sakit my gums so sakit to eat and talk 🙄🙄🙄

today was a chill and productive day. i laba in the morning doe and then at night i finished the last question for khalid’s task

i had a realization today doeee issa although i’m not there yet, there is also progress na gyd cos the first like 2-3 months gyd btaw of the break up, dugaaay kaayo mahuman ang adlaw. i remember nga gusto gyd nako udto na mumata para atleast di ra au dugay ang adlaw but idk time was really slow before kay grabe ang adjustment nga di na btaw ta always ga storya like grabe jd to ka boring ako mga days nga bsag unsa nalang ako gina do like mag water nalang ko plants para lang mu pass ang time

but now time passes faster na doe sometimes makurat nalang ko hapon na btaw like dat hehe medjo naanad na gyd ko sa kamingaw doeee bsag sometimes ga crave jd kaykog naay kastorya but karon okay2 na for me issa dis made me happy also

Dec. 3

12 am nag tan aw2 ko sa food panda ug mga shops (dont judge 😤😤) and i saw chef’s dimsum and suki desu and it made me sad kay always pd ta ga dinner didto :(((( one of our go-to dinner spots gyd ni aside from marty’s doe and it makes me sad cos i love their food but i dont think i can go back their anymore even when balik na f2f cos me nalang alone doe its so layo pajd :((( hayst makamiss kaayo mag dinner dates lang doe idk we always spend so much time gyd before doe wa gyd ta sumhi sa each other hahahaha

aish u know what happened dis day i was very lutang after feel nako damgo rato OMG basin damgo rato huh 😭 pero amp ewan ko sau bat moko ginaganito HAHAHAHAHHA but i wont open it up doe unless youre ready to talk about it cos it might be hard for u but pag tarong ra daw eric beh???? hahahhaha AMPFTZ WAG MOKO PAASAHIN 😡

but not pd ko mag assume baka ako nanaman masaktan 😔

Dec. 4

its 10 pm and claire just reported sumthing to me nga naa ka gi tweet and gisapot ko HAHHAHAHA MYGOSH DI PAJD KO PWEDE MAG TWITTER HAHAHAHAHAH CONFUSED KYKO AND FEEL NAKO DESERVE KAY NAKOG EXPLANATION PERO DI KO GUSTO MANG PRESSURE :) PARANG ANG SAYA2 MO NAMAN SANA OL HAHAHAHAHAHHA PARANG GOING STRONG NAMAN KAYO BAT MO PA GINAWA YUN???? TAPOS KARON AKO NASAD MAG LISOD UGH PERO K FINE HUWAT RKO SA EXPLANATION MAG TIIS2 NALANG KOG HUNA2 DIRI HAHAHAHHA 💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️ IDK WHERE I STAND IN UR LIFE ANYMORE AND ITS SO FRUSTRATING AND PAINFUL UGH

im just crying out the frustration now idk anymore doe i just want u to know its hard for me pd baya nga mag think of all possible reasons without receiving any explanation esp kay kabalo gyd ka nga wala pa gyd ko ka move on. i dont deserve to be left in the dark doe but i will wait but aish dont do this to me doeee its really hard for me this is such a torture doe busa mas prefer nalang jd ko way mahibal-an kesa masakitan sad ug inani hahaaay explain lang haaa dawaton ra nako bahalag unsa ka sakit HAAHAHHA kung pinaasa mo lang ako edi ouch huhu charot dawaton nalang 👉👈

UPLOADING THIS FIRST APAS NALANG ANG SA WEEKEND PARA MAN LANG MAKITA NIMO BAHALAG DI PAKA MAG EXPLAIN K LANG TIIS2 NALANG AKO U CAN EXPLAIN WHEN WE KITA AGAIN I WILL TIIS THIS FOR DAYS OR WEEKS

also pls dont mention this unless youre ready to explain kay ulaw HHAHAHAH

Dec. 5

tonight is so hard. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 its 12 am and gisulit na nako ako kasakit karon nga adlaw kay nag install kog twitter again nya nang stalk saimo HAHAHAHA K SAKTO NANI OY UNINSTALLING AGAIN

your tweets are an eye opener for me na you really have opened your heart to another and you’ve started to love another girl nya ako diri amppp 😔🤘🏼it hurts doe but yeah i need gyd to accept it

also have been waking at 6-7am for the past days bsag tag 12-1 nako maka sleep so weird

today was emotional doe we talked a lot and cried also a lot

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lgbtyrus · 5 years

Text

Two Exes on Mars

A Tyrus fic where they’re aged up + broken up :) It will have a ‘happily ever after’, I promise. Note: IDK if you know your Andi Mack lore, but just in case, Shadyside is in a fictional US state called Midwest.

Part 1/? (I’m thinking 3 or 4)

Words: 2,668

He kissed him goodbye. It wasn’t even rainy or cloudy outside, much less foggy. It was super bright and sunny, and Cyrus could hear every single bird in Shadyside chirping as his now ex-boyfriend walked out the front door of his house. He waited until TJ was out of his driveway to shut the door and break out in tears, pressing his forehead and fist against his door.

Why? he wondered. Why? Why? Why?

But he knew why. He knew why TJ had let him go in the worst breakup in the world. He had tried to a week ago which led to Cyrus breaking down in front of him and ended up with them back together. But the tension between them was so obviously, and it lead to TJ’s horrible mood swings and random outbursts he never apologized for. It made Cyrus feel like crap. Then in the middle of the week, TJ tried breaking up with him over text. Cyrus ignored it, and TJ went over to his house the next day like nothing had happened. Not even three days later, TJ came over to break up him a third time. For good.

That just happened two minutes ago, and Cyrus silently let him leave this time. He shouldn’t have ever let him see him cry.

“You have to go to California, Cyrus,” TJ had told him, his eyes red and his hands clenching into tight fists. All Cyrus could do was stare at the floor. It’s not everyday you get a chance to go to USC, but it also meant leaving everyone you loved behind- including TJ. Him and TJ had been together since the 8th grade, and he had included TJ in all of his future plans. For him, being in a long distance relationship was a possibility, and he never thought TJ would be against it.

“I want to go to MSU,” Cyrus shook his head, refusing to look at him. TJ was going to MSU on a basketball scholarship, and yeah, they had a theatre and screenwriting, but it wasn’t USC. It was one of the hardest choices Cyrus had to make.

“You’re clearly lying, Cyrus,” TJ let out a frustrated sigh, “I know when you’re lying.” It’s true, he did. His hands always instinctively went inside a pocket, and Cyrus has never been able to stop it. “Cyrus. I know I’m the main reason why you want to stay in Midwest, but I want you to go to USC. It’s what you want.”

“Does that mean we have to break up, though?” Cyrus asked him sadly, his voice quiet. TJ ran his fingers through his blonde hair and let out a deep breath.

“We’d be doing long distance for four years, Cyrus. I don’t want to hold you back from being at your prime if you’re moping around missing me the entire time.”

“Are you just saying this because you’re the one that’s not going to be fine?” There wasn’t even a pause.

“Yes, Cyrus!” TJ said loudly, startling Cyrus. “I can’t spend four years of my life being sad because I miss you all the time, but I also can’t live with the guilt I’m going to feel if you don’t go to USC. This entire situation is driving me insane, and I really think breaking up is the best way to go.”

“You honestly think that?” Cyrus frowned, looking right up at him. He didn’t want to break down like he did the first time. “You’re just giving up? Not even giving long distance a try. After five years, TJ?”

TJ shamefully looked away before saying, “I love you, Cyrus. But I think it’d hurt less to let you go.”

“How?” Cyrus’ voice started to tremble as he spoke in complete disbelief, “How can you even say you love me right now?” TJ didn’t say anything. He just slowly walking up to Cyrus, each step taking its own time before cupping his face in his hands and kissing him softly.

TJ pulled away, whispering, “Bye, Cyrus.”

Cyrus was now sitting on his bedroom floor, playing music louder than his occasional sob. Andi and Buffy were on their way, but until then, it was him, and a lone polaroid picture he had of him and TJ on their first Valentine’s Day together right in front of him. Him and TJ were sitting on one side of the booth at The Spoon while Marty and Buffy sat on the other side. TJ had his arms around him and was smiling in to his cheek, leaving a very fluttered Cyrus to be captured forever.

“Cyrus!” someone yelled out from downstairs. “We’re here.”

“Upstairs!” Cyrus yelled out, his voice slightly cracking. He hadn’t spoken since TJ left, and his throat hurt. He was glad he left the door unlocked for them because he didn’t have the energy to move.

Andi peaked her head through his bedroom door, frowning when she saw him, “Hi, Cyrus.”

“Hey,” Cyrus waved, “come in.” He hadn’t seen Andi in about three weeks was she was getting busy with her senior art project for SAVA. He loved her for being here during a busy time. Buffy trailed in behind Andi with two loaded grocery bags.

“We brought ice cream and pie,” Buffy held the bags up. “We stopped by your kitchen to get utensils.”

“Thank you because I was not going to move,” Cyrus said. Andi and Buffy sat down on each side of him and rested their heads on his shoulder.

“You can cry if you want,” Andi told him.

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, “we bought three tissue boxes.”

“I’ve been crying for like an hour, and I’m just tired of it at this point. But this is also probably just the start,” Cyrus mumbled. “How am I supposed to accept that someone I talked to everyday for five years is leaving my life?”

“I know it hurts, Cyrus,” Buffy whispered. “But you’re stronger than you think. You’re going to get through this. Trust me. I’m always right.”

“I know you are,” Cyrus smiled slightly. “You know what sucks the most though?”

“What?” they asked in unison.

“We already have matching tuxedos from prom.” -

Cyrus and TJ showed up with new tuxedos to prom. Andi herself made Cyrus a brand new one. The according to different sources, both Cyrus and TJ had both begged Gus to cancel their Prom Court nomination. Gus thought it was funny until Buffy stepped in, and he got scared.

Cyrus and TJ didn’t sit together at lunch anymore or do homework together or visit the swing sets every Tuesday after TJ got out of tutoring. Cyrus submitted his paperwork to attend USC in the fall and according to Amber who was at Shadyside’s community college, TJ was going to go to MSU to play for their basketball team. Buffy and Marty would be seeing him at MSU seeing they got track scholarships.

Cyrus cried every night for the rest of the school year after finishing his homework because he worked to hard to have his GPA suffer over a boy who clearly didn’t care if he fell apart. He sometimes sat in the bathtub and let music fill his whole bathroom and no matter what, every single song would remind him of TJ. Of course, that was his fault for playing the playlists TJ had made him on Spotify. He wondered if he could see that he was listening to them. He hoped he did.

Cyrus didn’t have any communication with TJ since the last texts he sent him. It was a 2AM on a Saturday night, about three weeks since the breakup. He felt horrible and didn’t know how to stop crying. Even though Buffy had told him to call him whenever, he couldn’t keep dumping everything on her.

Cyrus: hey tj I hope im not waking u up idk if you still have your phone set so that u only get text alerts from me but I just wanted to say that I miss you.

Cyrus: I miss you so much tj idk what to do without you. Everything hurts all the time and I just want to talk to you and hear you voice even if we cant date anymore please talk to me. Please be my friend again tj we were best friends for 5 years we work so good together

Cyrus: I love you. I think that ill always be in love with you.

TJ: Goodnight Underdog.

Cyrus didn’t remember what time he went to sleep, but he felt like he cried for hours after that. The pain in his chest beat him up completely until he was too weak to flip his pillow to the dry side.

At their graduation, Cyrus gave a speech and then walked off stage to everyone in the auditorium clapping. It felt surreal. When he looked up smiling, out of all of the people he saw in the sea of graduates, he saw TJ clapping. He had his lip curled up in one corner which showed that he was on the verge of tears. That was the only time that night Cyrus wanted to cry.

A month into USC and without a doubt, Cyrus was homesick and probably depressed. He had made a great group of friends that were similar to him and super positive. He appreciated them, but 8 out of 10 times, they could never convince him to leave his room. He just stayed in and did homework and work on his script. It was about a man who gets his heart shattered and decided to move to Mars as part of a science experiment and when he’s already in space, he realize that his ex is one of the 100 people on board. Things quickly escalate. His friends loved the scripts and always asked to read updates, but he still sent snippets to Bex because he missed her.

It had been months since the breakup with TJ that happened late April. He should be over it now, he thought a lot of the time. But it still hurt. TJ really shot a hole in his heart and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t cry everyday like he used to. But every other few weeks, he snuck into the bathroom to cry so his roommate wouldn’t see. It was embarrassing to admit.

Cyrus kept things in a rotation. Script, class, eat, homework, sometimes friends, and sleep. It was hard to stay happy and to enjoy himself. It was hard to feel like he was living through something when he’s been dead inside for months. With Halloween coming up, he felt even worse. He’s never not had anyone to match costumes with. For five years, him and TJ did a couple’s costume and before that, him, Buffy, and Andi always had something up their sleeves. He missed all of them.

Then one day, his roommate let one of his friends into their dorm room. His roommate was part of his friend group, so there was that. Cyrus was working on his infamous script and didn’t even get a text that he was coming. Usually, he said no, though. “Hey, Rich,” Cyrus said as he walked in.

“Hey, Cy,” he said. “I was in the building and wanted to drop by.”

“Why’d you text Karson and not me?” Cyrus asked.

“You always say no.”

“True. Anyways, what’s up?”

“We need one more person for our Halloween costume. It’s Full House. We need an Uncle Jesse. You in?”

“Yeah,” Cyrus grinned, “of course.”

“Damn,” his friend Bogie said. “That TJ foo fucked you up bad, huh?” All eight of them were sitting around a bonfire before Thanksgiving break. It had been a long night of confessions and telling each other things not a lot of other people knew. Somehow in the moment, Cyrus spent thirty minutes telling them the becoming and downfall of him and TJ. Rich had convinced him to go to therapy on campus early November, and Cyrus wished he had gone sooner. It was getting so much easier to be around his friends and have open conversations.

“Yeah,” Cyrus admitted. “I cried everyday for months. I still cry sometimes.”

“Is that why you spend forever in the bathroom?” Karson asked him. Cyrus nodded.

“Damn, Cy,” Roxana mumbled, “no wonder you were so distant at the beginning of the school year. I thought you were just stuck up, but I guess I was wrong. I’m glad you trust us now, though.”

“Me, too,” Cyrus said.

“So, this TJ,” Bogie asked, “what’s he up to?”

“Besides knowing that he plays basketball for Midwest State U, I have no idea. I haven’t talked to him since I last texted him after the breakup. I’m still good friends with his sister, but she never says anything.”

“Dang, so he’s a baller?” Bogie asked.

“Probably just getting fucked up at parties,” Mikhenna suggested. Cyrus didn’t respond. He just shrugged.

“Do you still love him?” Roxana asked him.

“I don’t think so,” Cyrus shook his head. “I’d be stupid to. But thanks for listening, guys. I feel a lot better. I feel like I belong and that I can finally move on.”

Cyrus didn’t see the point of flying all the way back home for a week long break, so he decided to stay behind in California and take a train to his aunt and uncle’s place. They had a daughter that thirteen and always had juicy middle school drama.

When he was laying down on the bed of the guest room, his phone started vibrating. Buffy was on Facetime, and he answered immediately saying, “Hey, Buff.”

“Hey, Cyrus,” Buffy grinned widely before switching the camera, “look who’s with me!”

Andi waved at the camera, “Hey, Cyrus!”

“Andi,” Cyrus grinned. “How are you? We haven’t talked in like four days.”

“I know right,” Andi laughed. “I’m fine. What about you?”

“I’m good, I’m good,” he said before registering completely that Andi was in Shadyside. “Wait,” he paused, “aren’t you supposed to be in Pennsylvania?”

“Yeah but a professor died, so they gave us two weeks off instead of three days and just postponed winter break.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea who he is,” Andi shrugged. “But where are you?”

“With my dad’s sister and her family. I’m just chilling and eating home made food before I go back,” Cyrus smiled. Andi moved over to sit next to Buffy and Cyrus noted that they were at the Mack’s place.

“So enough of that,” Buffy said and then looked at Andi who gave her a stern look. “Come on, let me tell him.”

“Well now you have to tell him,” Andi rolled his eyes.

“That’s very true,” Cyrus agreed.

“I know,” Buffy smirked. “That’s why I said that. Anyways,” she looked right at the camera, “we went to the mall with Amber in her car, but it broke down in the parking lot when we were leaving. She had to call TJ to come pick us up, which was already awkward enough because I always ignore him at school, but I was like whatever, it’s a twenty minute drive. Then in the car, literally, this man, I mean, boy, can ask any question. Any question in the world. Preferably, one directed at his sister, like you know, has your car been acting funky for a while? But he asks me and Andi, ‘How is Cyrus doing?’” Cyrus’ heart dropped. He hasn’t heard anything about TJ in so long he’s forgotten how to react.

“What did you say?” Cyrus asked nervously.

“I said that I charge $50 per fact,” Buffy said, “and he didn’t say anything else.”

“That’s weird,” Cyrus frowned. “I wonder why he doesn’t just ask Amber. I literally call her once a week, every Tuesday.”

“No idea,” Buffy said. “But maybe she just doesn’t answer him for the same reasons I didn’t.”

“Which are?”

“We love you.”

anyways follow my main @webarebares <3 thank you for reading! feel free to send asks if something was confusing or if a typo was horrible or just because. i luv u.

#shoosh star #stars writing #andi mack #tyrus #kind of lol #im just a sucker for angst and cant help writing it whenever i can

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xserpentlife · 4 years

Text

50 questions tag !

Tagged by no one but I saw @romanticgumchewer do it and thought it was cool so

1.) What color is your hairbrush?

so like i have bout 5 probably but now i only use one in the shower ad its this turqiouse bue color cause ya’ll if you got frizz or curls dont brush ya hair really at all just use ya fingers but also do it with conditioner and in the shower

2.) Name a food you never eat

freaking seafood eh blegh

3.) Are you usually too warm or too cold?

warm. all. the. time.

4.) What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

uhm swimming... no dinner and smelling disgusting seafood that made me wanna barf cause thsts whst my aunt/uncle and grandparents were making for dinner

5.) What’s your favorite candy bar?

oo idk uhm crunch noooo a flake bar they are from europe no like ireland i think so fucking good lemme tell you

6.) Have you ever been to a professional sports game?

yeah. Eagles, flyers, and phillies, and the reading phillies if you count them, oh and the 76ers and some college gsmes i think that is it

7.) What’s the last thing you said out loud?

nope i don’t want a smore

8.) What’s your favorite ice cream?

yall i got so many lemme get you on this shit. okay so ben and jerrys we talkin then its gottabe phish phood oj shit, but like all in al my fav is black raspberry tbh but also like i do keto so i do love me some coffee ice cream cause i can usually find that in “keto” ones. i like keto enlightened ice cream bars they are decent and low carb

9.) What was the last thing you had to drink?

crystal light or it may have been turkey hill diet green tea

10.) Do you like your wallet?

i mean yeah its a black michael kors it does it purpose lol, mostly i like it cause it has a lot of space for cards which like all my gift cards go there the only thing i don’t like is that the bitch gets hela heavy when coins get in it like jesus

11.) What’s the last thing you ate?

ham and cheese roll ups for diner cause they had fuckin seafood lol boutta be carots, but also wasn’t that hungry lol

12.) Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

nope!

13.) What’s the last sporting event you watched?

i believe that it was UFC

14.) What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

butter or white cheddar

15.) Who’s the last person you sent a text to?

my best friends so my friend from vegas and @wayward-river

16.) Ever go camping?

yep!

17.) Do you take vitamins?

i take a probiotic

18.) Do you go to church every Sunday?

nope

19.) Do you have a tan?

yupppp

20.) Do you prefer Chinese or pizza?

oooo uhm depends on what type of piza but ima say pizza... i have a cheese addiction

21.) Do you drink soda through a straw?

i don’t drink soda anymore

22.) What color socks do you usually wear?

vans socks in literally any color usually not black i try to get colored ones cause if i get the black i can never tell te old from the new unless they are like streched out or somethin

23.) Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

uhm yes lol. its my downfall but also like either go the speed limit or go 5 miles over do not go under becuase that is just not an option

24.) What terrifies you?

many things.

25.) Look to your left, what to you see?

flowers

26.) What chore do you hate the most?

vacuuming the sound drives me nuts. or no putting away laundry like hanging it up idk why i hate it but i do lik ill wash shit and fold it but actuly putting it way drives me nuts

27.) What do you think when you hear an Australian accent?

uhm hiiii but also adelaide idk why

28.) What’s your favorite soda?

dont drink it i drink ice drinks instead or the safeway brand sparkling water

29.) Do you go in fast food or in the drive through?

drive through

30.) What’s your favorite number?

31.) Who’s the last person you talked to?

in person? my little cousin

32.) Favorite cut of beef?

chicken just so many things can be done. chicken parm, grilled chicken, bbq chicken need i go on

33.) Last song you listened to?

welp i checked spotfy we were at the pool and it was me and my little cousin i was playing ehr playlist so it was did i mention from descendants hahah

34.) Last book you read?

oh god uhm i have no idea

35.) Can you say the alphabet backwards?

no unless i go throguh the whole thing letter...... by.... letter

36.) Favorite day of the week?

thursday

37.) How do you like your coffee?

Iced with heavy cream i prefer cold brew or espresso tho, but usually cold brew

38.) Favorite pair of shoes?

Vans

39.) Time you normally wake up?

10- 10:30 sometimes 9

40.) Sunrise or sunsets?

sunsets

41.) How many blankets on your bed?

usually just my comforter sometimes my comforter and one or two otehrs dring the winter cause i like to be cold and keep my window open i keep my bedroom door closed and the heat in my room off

42.) Describe your kitchen plates?

i live with my aprents im still in college but when im at school rndoms hit that is cheap

43.) Describe your kitchen at the moment?

tiny dorm kitchen or it will be first on campus apartment that looks like an insane asylum checkkkkkkk

44.) Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

i mean its not legal to sayyyyy

45.) Do you play cards?

yes omggggg my grandma s from the south i grew up on card games 500 rummy, oh hell too, i played poker with my grandpa to and 21

46.) What color is your car?

dark blue... kiki

47.) Can you change a tire?

yeppp!

48.) Your favorite state, province, country, etc.?

uhm idk i live in pennsylvania but I wouldn’t say i have a favorite state at least not yet

49.) Favorite job you’ve had?

I worked at this axe throwing place and honestly it was my favorite job i had. I was an axe master I basicaly taght people how to throw axes and like led mini games for hour long sessions it was hella fun, but my college scheldue and doctors appt got in the way so i got let go but it was fun while it lasted. or my own business i do photography on the side so that is also amazing and i absolutely love it and ned to do more of it.

50.) How did you get your biggest scar?

oh god i don’t even know.. i have huge scards from my chronic skin condition so either that orrrr maybe the scar on my leg it is not that big though like size of a nickel where a kick stand went into my leg, a lot of my scars are smaller or like blend into my skin fairly ell cause of my other scars or honestly i forget about them cause. i hae so many so i realy am not sure.

i tag @wayward-river @the-gargoyle-queen @whenallsaidanddone @riverdalebingo @theangriestpea @southsidevixen-blog

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