#idk where I got tee-fling

[starsinoursystem]

Okay just realized this was a thing so

[meleuki]

Sleeping Arrangements

Duff Mckagan x Reader 

Warnings: SMUT, straight up sex lads. 

Word Count: 4,900+ 

Request: hey!! can I request duff smut but like where it’s the reader’s first time and she’s super nervous but duff is reassuring and gentle and stuff idk whatever you want really lol I really love your writing.

A/N: This is a fucking long one, and I'm so sorry it took me so long. I’ve now begun to work on the other requests, but alas, enjoy! Also @guns-n-crue cause duff ur main hoe.

"So, wait where am I sleeping?" Duff's kind voice pondered the arrangements that the rest of the band and I had just made for the night.

I had two spare mattresses set up in the lounge room, taken by Axl and Slash, the couch that sat next to the beds was already occupied by Steven, who had passed out not long after we'd gotten home from our night out. There was a spare bedroom on the ground floor, but with a single bed, and Izzy had been relieved to discover I had saved the secluded room for him to lay his head, but where would Duff sleep? I had a double bed up in my room, but surely he wouldn't want to sleep there.

"You have a double bed don't you?" Duff questioned, looking up the staircase to the upper floor before shrugging his shoulders, "I guess I'm sharing with you,"

I gulped, doing my best to calm my now raging nerves, "Y-yeah, I guess so,"

My heart began thumping rhythmically against my chest, speeding up anytime the thought of Duff in my bed appeared in my mind, being so close to him would be challenging for my body, I knew I'd ache to touch him, to press myself into the tall blonde's side as he wrapped his arms around me, but we were merely friends, and I merely had a crush on the bass player. A liking for him, that only Axl knew of, and that I hoped Duff would never learn about.

I quickly looked over at Axl, who looked more amused than anything. The mischievous smile that spread across his face as we made eye contact made my shoulders slump, he wasn't even going to try and get me out of the awkward situation, he was going to endorse it.

"Alright then, see you two in the morning," Axl chuckled, flinging himself back onto his bed, but not before giving me a knowing wink, dripping in suggestion.

I sighed at the red-head, quietly following Duff up the stairs and into the decently sized space that I called my room. Vinyls were stacked into a few boxes that had been pushed into the corner of my room, band posters took up a majority of the empty space of the white painted walls, some fairy lights hanging here and there. As I closed the bedroom door behind me, I took in the new decoration inside my room, sitting on my bed, slowly undressing himself - Duff. His chunky black boots thumped against the carpet as he chucked them to the end of the bed, next to be thrown off was his leather vest, followed by his fishnet shirt and then his denim jeans, till he was left in his boxers. I couldn't take my eyes away, the sight before me one I knew that I'd probably never get the chance to adore any other time than right now.

"Are you... just going to stand there?" Duff chuckled, standing up and making his way over to my vanity, sitting down to look over his face, "Or do I have to undress you?"

I froze, letting out an uncomfortable breathy laugh at Duff's words. I slowly began to slide my denim jacket off, letting it pool on the ground around my feet. The old band tee I was wearing came next, slowly slipping over the skin of my stomach before I lifted it over my head, letting it drop around my feet, joining the denim jacket. I froze as I heard Duff turn around in my vanity chair, his eyes falling on my half exposed body. I gulped nervously as his eyes roamed the entirety of my torso, soaking up the sight before him.

Duff stood up from the vanity, coughing awkwardly as he made his way over to my bed, sitting down on the edge, leaning his arms against his knees as he continued to look me over. His eyes raked over my body, devouring the eye candy before him.

"Um, Duff?" I questioned, my thumbs hooked in the sides of my jeans, my eyebrows furrowed curiously as I looked at the blonde man. Duff's eyes looked up from my legs, his brown eyes making contact with my shy orbs, glistening with nerves.

"Sorry, that wasn't right of me," Duff apologised, shaking his head at himself as he began to move the covers of the bed around, so he could shuffle himself under them comfortably. I almost sighed as he turned his back to me, I knew I wouldn't mind having him look me over as I got undressed, if I wasn't so conscious of my body and how it looked. I'd never been intimate with someone, the fear of them being quick to judge clouding my decision, always ending in me saying no and regretting it afterwards.

"Duff?" I took a step closer to the bed, crossing my arms over my stomach, looking down at my feet as he turned his body towards me.

"Yes?"

"Would you take my virginity if I asked?" I blurted out, squeezing my eyes shut as my nerves jumped about inside my body. I could feel the tension in the room rising, the feeling of Duff's eyes on me was overwhelming, even if I couldn't see him staring.

"Well," Duff began, "Are you asking?"

I opened my eyes slowly, unbuttoning my jeans as my eyes met his once again. I watched Duff as he sucked in a breath, standing up from the bed abruptly.

"Yeah, I am," I sighed, sliding my jeans over my hips and down my thighs, letting them collect into a heap around my ankles before stepping out of them. Duff made his way over to me, his eyes taking in the sight before him, now without restraint. I went to cover up my stomach again, almost regretting my decision to ask him as he looked me over; but his hands caught mine before I could wrap them around myself.

"Don't do that, you're beautiful,"

Duff moved one of his hands across my stomach, the leathery pads of his fingertips running across my skin smoothly- but he paused.

"I'm not the guy you want to do this," Duff's eyes met mine, "I'm not- I'm not- uh,"

Duff's hand fell away from me, retreating back to the side of his body. It felt like someone hit me in the gut, a straight cold punch to the abdomen. I could feel the pressure on my lungs as he slid himself back into the bed, sliding across the sheets until he was closest to the wall, his back turned to me. I was left in a sports bra and underwear, completely exposed, in a way I'd never been before. There was a man in my bed, and for the first time in forever, it was a man that I wanted to touch me all over and tell me how pretty I was, but that man wasn't going to dare lay a finger on me during the night.

Duff's breathing was heavy, I could see his back rising and falling with every breath as I crawled into bed next to him. I lied down closer to his body than I probably should have, my warm breath touching his bare skin each time I released any air.

"I'm cold," Duff started, "And you breathing on me isn't helping, (Y/N)."

There was a pause before I shimmied back in the bed a little, putting a few more centimetres of distance between us, but nowhere near enough to stop the feeling of my breathing against Duff's back.

"What're you playing at-" Duff went to speak, drawing his arms tighter around himself.

"If you come closer," I cut him off, pausing slightly as I thought about what to say, "The closer you are to me, the warmer you'll be."

Duff halted his movements, before flipping over completely, his arms shooting out to wrap themselves around my waist and pulling me flush against him. Our legs tangled together, my knee sliding between the heat of his thighs as my feet moved against his shins. I pressed my hands to his chest as he buried his face in the top of my head, inhaling deeply.

"Is this what you wanted?" Duff whispered, pulling his face away from my head and looking down at me. I peered up into his brown eyes, slowly moving my hand up to trace the heavy, tired bags that seemed to be weighing the muddy brown orbs down.

"Duff I want so much more than this," I paused as he closed his eyes, enjoying the touch of my fingers, "But if you don't want to, then it's okay, you don't have to."

Duff sighed, and I felt his fingers begin tracing shapes along my back, sliding up and down the skin slowly, like he was savoring the feel of it.

"It's not that I don't want you, I'm just not the right guy, I'm not-" Duff paused again, "I shouldn't, because I'm just some drunk and I want you to have someone that you deserve."

"Duff I want you to do it, no one else," I cupped his cheek with my hand as his eyes opened, staring down at me, "I trust you, with my everything. I trust that you'll be gentle, and I trust that you'll make me feel beautiful, and I believe you're the only one that could do that."

"Are you sure?" Duff's hands moved lower on my body, sliding across the skin of my hips, his fingers grabbing softly at the flesh.

"Yes," I let my hands slide to the nape of his neck, tangling my fingers in his messy, long hair. Excitement was building in the pit of my stomach. I could already feel it beginning to get slick between my thighs at the thought of what was to come next.

"Okay."

That was all it took, one word, one whisper of closure, and we were on one another. Duff's lips melted against mine, guiding me through the motions as he rolled on top of me, his hands grabbing at my hips with force. His mouth swallowed the sound of my moans, drinking them up like a sweet can of soda on a summer's day. I couldn't help but think we would wake the boys downstairs, but when Duff's hand travelled below the elastic of my panties, I knew I could care less. The feeling of his fingers circling over the one place I'd dreamt of him touching had me writhing against his body, hips bucking into his touch, silently yelling for more. My hands gripped at his shoulders as he slowly removed his hand from my panties, sliding his fingers along the insides of my thighs, my body quivering at the feel of his hands on me; extremely calloused, yet as soft and as gentle as feathers.

Duff’s head dipped down to the skin of my neck, his lips pressing airy light kisses against the warm flesh. His breath flowed between each kiss, making the hairs on my arms stand up stand up at the new sensation. My nerves were on fire, and even the feeling of Duff’s hip bones pushing against my inner thighs had my eyes rolling behind their curtains.

His hands played games along my exposed skin, teasingly slipping under the bottom hem of my sports bra before sliding back down to my waist, again and again - each time his fingers crept higher and higher up, till they were sliding gently over my nipples. I gasped as he began toying with them under the fabric of my bra, rolling them between his middle and pointer finger as his lips trailed up my chest and neck. Our mouths made contact once again, this kiss one hundred times hungrier than the last.

“What are you comfortable with?” Duff breathed out, his hands still busy with my breasts, kneading them in his hands as he broke the kiss for a second to speak.

“Anything,” Kiss, “as long as,” Kiss, “it’s gentle.”

“You got it,” Duff smiled against my mouth, “I’m going to make love to you.”

That sentence seemed to spark something inside my body, like a lick of flame to kindling - I could feel my body heating up. The heat spread from my stomach and chest throughout the rest of my body in waves, slowly producing a sheen of sweat that stuck to my skin. My hands grasped at Duff’s hair as he began trailing his hands down my body once again, his fingers pushing into my skin with enough force to make me hold my breath, but not nearly enough force to be painful. Duff lent back onto his calves, his hands moving my legs so each one was perched over his shoulders. His fingers traced shapes over my legs, his lips pressing little kisses against my knees as he leaned himself forward, revealing my lower half to him; the only form of privacy being the thin piece of cotton that covered my heat. I stared up at him expectantly, having very little experience as to what was to come next, nerves beginning their trek to overtake my certain mind, wavering my decisions like jelly.

One of Duff’s hands moved to grip my waist, his thumb stroking soothingly over the skin as he detected my sense of uncertainty.

“I’m gonna use my fingers on you, alright?” Duff slid his hand in a small window-wiper motion across my side, “You still okay with this?”

“Yes, I am,” I swallowed my anxieties, doing my best to shove them to the back of my mind. I wasn’t going to let my insecurities stuff it all up for me this time, especially with a guy like Duff, who I’d dreamed about for a very long time. I finally was being given a chance to receive the loving I’d always wanted, no way in hell was I just going to let my anxiety throw that away.

I sucked in a breath as Duff traced his fingers above my pantie line, giving it a second before diving down beneath the material. The calloused feel of his fingertips made my stomach jump. His middle finger dipped down lower, tracing the tip of his finger along my folds, occasionally pressing against my entrance, and then sliding back up again; all the while his thumb massaged my clit with expertise. Duff slid his middle finger down my slit once more, his finger slipping past my entrance, my mouth falling open slightly as he began to cautiously sheath his long finger within my walls. I clenched around him, the feeling of his fingers felt way better than my own, way better than any feeling anyone had been able to give me.

I reached my hand down to grasp at Duff’s wrist, causing him to pause in his actions as I whimpered out one single word; “More.”

Without hesitating, Duff reached his pointer finger down to join his middle, pulling his finger out of me, getting them slick with my arousal, only to push them both back in; harsher this time, a little bit rougher. My back arched slightly off the mattress at the feeling of being full, his fingers were touching places inside of me I didn’t know existed. He curled them, pressing them upwards against my walls, hitting a spot that made me cry out, my voice hoarse. Duff leaned down closer to my face, pressing his forehead against mine as my legs slid further down his arms. Sweet nothings and encouragements spilt from his pink lips, fuelling the fire in my stomach. His fingers moved at a leisurely pace, his hips pressing against my ass as it raised slightly from the bed. I gripped at the sheets of my bed, balling them up in my fists out of desperation to release some of the tension that was building like a wildfire in my stomach.

A high-pitched whine left my lips as Duff pulled his hand away from me. I would’ve cringed if I weren’t so invested in keeping his hands attached to my body. His eyes darted down to my clothed crotch, his mouth falling open slightly at the slick noises that sounded throughout the room as his fingers drew away from my arousal. His hands glided across the skin of my thighs, gripping them just above my knee and pulling them down from my shoulders before he leaned forward again, his bare torso pressing against mine. I moaned at the feeling of his weight on top of me, my hands moving to drag and tangle themselves through his blonde hair, attaching his lips to mine with a passion I didn’t know I possessed. A grunt of surprise echoed in Duff’s mouth as he welcomed my tongue into the kiss, flicking his own against my muscle. My lips grew tingly as we both continued our exploration of each other - my hands wandering down his chest and over the curve of his stomach and waist. I trailed my fingertips back up his body, scraping my nails over his shoulders, slowly reaching further down his back, pushing his body harder against mine. There was barely any space left between our bodies. I could feel our sweat mixing as we kissed, the hunger and lust for sex growing deep within our minds and filling the room with a tension that would be hard to re-invent. This was the raw desire of animal instinct running through our veins, and I was ready to let it take control.

Duff rolled his hips up into my crotch, rubbing the tip of his hard cock against my clit. A sharp breath entered my lungs as he detached his lips from my own, gyrating his member against me, painfully slow.

“Fuck…” Duff let out a breath of content, his jaw clenching shortly after the curse left his mouth, his eyes peering down at me, “You’re so beautiful… incredible.”

Duff’s head dropped down, his dirty blonde locks brushing softly against my forehead as he groaned, the sound coming from deep down in his throat. I raked my nails gently across his back, sliding them up and down the smooth skin. Whimpers and moans of my own released themselves from deep inside my throat, piercing the air like steel tipped arrows. Duff’s hands planted themselves next to my shoulders, pushing himself up above me. One of his hands lifted up from the sheets, trailing along the strap of my sports bra. Duff sat himself up, kneeling between my legs, his hands now both trailing along my bra, caressing the skin just underneath the hemmings. I moved my arms above my head, giving him the ok to take off the piece of clothing. I gasped as the cold air hit my nipples, hardening them into peaks. The sound of my bra hitting the floor somewhere distant in my ears. My panties were next - Duff wasting no time in hooking his fingers around the elastic and slipping them down my leg, tossing them to the side and leaving me completely bare beneath him.

“Are you going to take yours off?” I hooked my fingers underneath the edges of Duff’s boxers, giving the elastic a little tug before looking up at him.

“Not yet, I wanna taste you first,” Duff mumbled against my lips as he pressed his nose into the flesh of my cheek, hands slipping down on my body to grasp at my hips. My breath caught in my throat as Duff began to lower himself towards my now exposed heat, pepper-light kisses planted after each few centimetres his face hovered past. His lips pressed against my clit, his tongue flicking out not soon after to make me jump, my back arching up off the bed. I felt my hips roll forward towards Duff as I settled down; the feeling of his open mouth kisses against my wet slit making me sigh with satisfaction. The feeling of being loved so tenderly was so new to me, or maybe it’d just been so long since I’d felt it - ever yet, it was refreshing. I felt as if I was drinking the loveliest flame and letting it lick at the inside of my throat, my voice growing hoarse and desperate as Duff continued his actions on my sensitive bundle of nerves, wrapping his lips around it and sucking harshly.

I whined as Duff pulled his face away from me, wiping his mouth off on the back of his hand as his hazel eyes stared down at me. Something I couldn’t place my finger on rippled behind his eyes, they looked almost glassy as he looked over my body, soaking every inch of it into his memory. I sat up on the bed, leaning forward to attach my mouth to the skin just below Duff’s chest, sloppily kissing along the pale skin, savouring the taste of him on my tongue and the smell of him invading my senses, bringing me an overwhelming sense of calm.

“Lay back for me,” Duff held onto my hands as I drifted my back down onto the mattress, obeying his words, “Good girl.”

I raised my legs up, slipping them around Duff’s waist, pulling his crotch against mine softly. The material of his boxers soaked up the arousal dripping from my heat, leaving a dark patch against the underwear.

“Do you think you’re ready for me?” Duff slid his fingers along my cheek as he looked down at me, the strands of his blonde hair swaying gently over my face - almost ticklish. All I could manage in response was some enthusiastic nods and eager moans, never having been so needy for someone’s dick in my life. I reached my hand out to the side, coming in contact with the bedside tables draws. My hand scrambled for the draw handle, eventually gripping it and dragging the draw open as fast as I could. I heard the rattle of a few things being thrown around in the wooden compartment.

I saw Duff’s eyes dart to the draw, a chuckle leaving his lips, “Condoms, right.”

His hand disappeared out of sight for a few seconds, diving for one of the small, square packets that had been strewn across the top of a few notebooks. The small rip of plastic rung in the air, and I held my breath as Duff’s arm returned to his side, his left hand moving to help him shimmy his boxers down his legs - the piece of clothing soon joining mine on the floor. I was transfixed by the sight of his cock before my eyes, hovering above my core as he rolled the condom down his length. The nerves grew in my stomach as he placed one of his arms beside my head, the realization that this was really happening settling in my brain.

“Duff, wait I-,” I cut myself off, thickly swallowing as the blonde shifted his gaze from my arousal to my eyes, concern displaying itself clearly in the hazel orbs.

“(Y/N), you don’t have to, we don’t have to,” Duff sighed, moving his other hand up to stroke his fingers along my jaw, a soothing gesture that seemed to calm my nerves slightly; enough to clear my judgement of what was going on.

“I want to Duff,” I sighed, “Just-”

“Just what, baby? You’ve gotta communicate with me,” Duff cooed, his fingers continuing their caresses along my face.

“Could you kiss me through it please?” I mumbled, closing my eyes as Duff’s breathy laughter washed over the skin of my cheek.

“Whatever you need, honey,” Duff whispered, his lips pressing a kiss against my cheek after he finished talking. A trail of light pecks wandered over the flesh of my face, his mouth soon coming into blissful contact with mine. Distracting me from any disruptive thoughts, making me grow ever thankful at the fact that I had a guy like Duff to guide me through such a process.

I felt a slight nudge against my entrance, wincing as the head of Duff’s length slid itself inside me. The soft coos of Duff against my lips made me relax, and soon the feeling of him slowly slipping into me becoming welcome by my body. The feeling of being full was so new, yet so undeniably delicious. My gasps and sighs were being swallowed by Duff, our breath mixing as we kissed. I could faintly taste alcohol on his tongue, my mind wondering how long it had been since his lips wrapped around a bottle of vodka.

“Ah!” A cry left my lips as Duff’s hips snapped forward suddenly, completely sheathing himself inside of me. I could feel myself clenching around his cock, my eyes fluttering shut as the feeling of being completely and utterly full ran throughout my body.

“You okay?” Duff lightly grazed his lips across my forehead, whispering the words as calmly as he could.

I nodded, giving his neck a small squeeze as encouragement to continue, his hips immediately withdrawing from me, only to slip all the way back inside again. His hips stuttered as he made the first few thrusts, the feeling of my already tight walls clenching around him making it hard for him to maintain his composure. Eventually his rhythm grew steady as I stretched to accompany his size, the heat in my body growing hotter by the second. All I could feel was his body against mine - the sweat, the heat and the energy pouring out of our pores and contaminating each other with a lust that almost felt like rage, bubbling up inside of our stomachs and chests, constricting the pipes within our throats. It was an animalistic desire to get rid of this rage, an anger to finish what we had started, to reach our peaks. The very new feeling of Duff buried inside of me was uncomfortable, yet the man who sat above me was desperate for me to enjoy every moment of our time together. His hand slipped down between our bodies, clammy with sweat, and attached the tips of his middle and pointer finger to my clit. The sensation made me jolt, my body tensing as the pleasure I was now receiving helped make the awkward feeling of being full a little more bearable.

Duff’s thrusts set a slow, but heavy rhythm. The knot in my stomach was building as he continued to swirl his fingers around my bundle of nerves, his other hand pressing firmly into the mattress beside my head. I reached my hands up to tangle themselves in his hair, swiping a bead of sweat off his forehead before it had the chance to run down into his brow. My hips began moving on their own accord, rocking to the rhythm Duff had set, my mouth falling open as the head of his cock brushed against a certain spot inside me.

“Right there, huh?” Duff grunted, moving his hand from my clit to my hip. I could feel his fingers digging into the flesh as he pulled my lower half up slightly.

Duff thrusted again, the same spot he hit before coming into contact with his length once more, much easier this time. I couldn’t help the choked noises that left my throat, or my fingers clawing at his shoulders as my eyes fluttered shut under his fiery gaze. His hips continued to work, the sound of skin slapping against skin ringing out through the bedroom as he hit that spot over and over again. My whole being was overwhelmed, the knot in my stomach growing tighter by the second. I couldn’t produce coherent words, a feeling all to unknown flowing through my veins. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me further into him as he continued to slip in and out of my heat, grunts and moans of appreciation for the feeling of my body leaving his lips in flurries. I clawed at his back, arching up into him as I cried out, feeling my orgasm approaching.

“You gonna cum for me baby?” Duff didn’t slow down, his position staying the same, his voice almost desperate for me to finish, “Come all over my cock, come on.”

I whined, throwing my head back and letting out a loud cry of satisfaction as the knot in my stomach unravelled, my release flowing out over Duff’s length. I could feel Duff grunting into my neck, his sweet words and encouragement guiding me through my euphoria as he kept thrusting into me, working towards his own high as well as elongating mine. It wasn’t long before Duff’s hips halted, twitching ever so slightly as he came, biting down into my shoulder.

We sat like that for a few minutes, tangled in each other's embrace and silently going over everything that had just happened. My hands traced along Duff’s jaw, his forehead pressed against mine, breathing heavily, eyes closed. I’d never seen him look so peaceful or at home, it was almost like he’d drifted into a state of complete serenity, and I felt empowered by the fact that he’d found it buried inside me.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” Duff whispered, his aura not shifting in the slightest.

“I did, thank you,” I closed my eyes, leaning up and placing my lips gently against Duff’s. It seemed the most proper way to give him a seal of approval and gratitude, putting my lips back on his just made sense. My heart fluttered as I felt the pressure of him kissing me back, shivers running down my spine as if I’d just walked outside on a fresh winter morning.

“Good,” He sighed.

[kingofcurses]

harry watches the witcher

episode 1 thoughts:

the monsters look cool af

this bitch really drowning huh

intro is kinda cool?

assassin’s creed vibes from the hood

how is he a mutant

oof who is this woman she’s a badass and nice shutting down of her dumbass husband

she’s very uwu

“more and more i find monsters wherever i go”

YO ITS TEE FROM THE DUMPING GROUND

she sold him her dog when it died oof

you ever been to hell?

wheres jaskier

oooooooooh magicccccccccccccc dooooooooooor

this is not what illusions are meant for

do witchers murder? think thats against the witcher code tbh

also FUCK THE MUSIC IS GOOD

wait is this ciri?

she’s babie also literal fav

geralt is a himbo, also cavill looks weirdly non-human, also geralt reminds me of an npc.

internal m u t a t i o n s

god this is so confusing cos people have confusing names

geralt really feels plastic idk why

“evil is evil stragabor, lesser, greater, middling. it’s all the same. if i have to choose between one evil and another, i prefer not to choose at all.

“pretty ballards hide bastard truths”

“As in life, it is impossible to be fully prepared for battle. Keep your sword close and keep moving.”

ciri looks so uncomfortable

bruh the woman from earlier is renfry? or whatever her name is, but she has sick design

jesus fucking christ stregabor you fucking horrible dickhead

hope she kills him

“so i keep getting told”

please tell me she kills him

thats a lot of bad guyss

this looks like such a futile battle

people keep gettting killed very quickly

ciri continues to be my fav, also she looks like she needs a hug

wow people getting cleaved

top tip: dont shout we’re losing

well shit he just got headshot, also such a shit way to die

thats really sad

wait she made it back????? how????

how tf did they get into the city

ooooh magic

geralt is so fed up at this rate

“thats sad”

dont kiss, please

please dont kiss

like seriously i cannot bear this

FUCKING DAMN IT

bouncy wall

these guys really believe in destiny huh

more people getting cleaved

woah lion thing

im going to cry

find geralt

fair enough i guess

wait they’re all drinking poison wtf

thats really sad :(

why didnt they save everyone else?????

please don’t fling yourself off the tower

oh shit he stabbed himself

oh fuck she flung herself off the tower

high speed horse chase

I CALL BULLSHIT HE DID NOT DEFLECT THAT CROSSBOW SHOT THAT WELL

BUT ALSO THE MAGIC + SWORD IS RIGHT UP MY STREET

WOW HEIGHT OF BISEXUALITY 2 HOT PEOPLE HAVING A SWORDFIGHT

guess thats the life of a witcher; an outcast

[citialiin]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER. at 1 AM when hopefully everyone is asleep

tagged by ; @atomicglass​ thank u!!! tagging: well like every1 i kno got tagged. @spokenleaf​. get at it.

1. FIRST NAME: basil basil basil basil basil basil basil

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: i have been sad for ten years

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: i think big/pointy noses are cute 

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: COCO ICHIBANYA VEGETABLE CURRY W/ CHEESE AND VEGETABLE CROQUETTE (LARGE RICE) 

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: meat 

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: stories about chimpanzees hurting humans 

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: sweatshirt and sweatpants cuz shits cold rn

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS:  ive been dating da same girl for almost 4 years and before that i dated a guy for 3 years i never intend for long lasting relationships I am just a flawless human being and people grovel to be in my presence 

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: kms needed to start taking art seriously in like high school instead of midway through college im so behind compared to a lot of other animation students wow this is such a depressing question im just really sad im sad and i roleplay on tumblr what do you want from me

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: no touch me i HURT u ... i tend to show my affection by drawing people things and talking to them.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: what we do in the shadows / mad max...this resurfaced a memory where i watched the lorax OBSESSIVELY in early high school cuz i was in love with the once-ler i mean i watched that movie prolly 50+ times 

12. FAVORITE BOOK: aztec by gary jennings

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: cabbage 

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: wowwwww ziggy x thomas (blossomingbeelzebug) um i guess mercy overwatch x moira overwatch is really good? 

15. PIE OR CAKE: cake unless its apple pie 

16. FAVORITE SCENT: squeeze a lemon into my nose

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: hehehehehe jemaine clement ..... or david bowie maybe i dont kno i dont think i would date him he’s kind of Freakay ....... dr*w r*usch .... ooo mmm gggg tee hee hee

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: i want to go back to japan but Being Real for a second going there as a chinese person sucks because the racism is like Palpable.  imo i was treated nicer when i just spoke english and people thought i was ambiguous asian american but people treated me with a much colder demeanor when my mom would speak chinese or tagalog to me.  chinese tourists do suck ass though so maybe i deserve it.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT:  introverb

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: in sophomore (?ish) year of high school i decided i was done being scared of things so i would literally watch liveleak/best gore videos or go on those like 4chan “rekt” threads to desensitize myself to gore. so now i am not afraid of anything but jumpscares still make me pee myself

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: android because im poor

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: if i start playing overwatch a lot it means im really depressed (hence why ive played overwatch at least once a week since it came out and i dont evne have fun im just sad) but i play binding of isaac and cookie run on my phone lollll im such a child

23. DREAM JOB: i would be happy being a story artist at any animation studio for features or TV. but if you really want to get me egotistical my dream job would be to be a showrunner for an animated television series even if i acknowledge that will likely never happen

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: buy some cocoichibanya curry

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: who tf spends time hating fictional people

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: HETALIA LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL homestuck uhhhh dangan ronpa idk i kind of stopped being involved in fandom things after mid high school. once-ler fandom (RIP)

[akumubaku]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

For rp & non-rp blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen !

1. FIRST NAME ⇢ Lucas!

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF ⇢ I was the last baby born on Scott Air Force Base before they shut the on base maternity ward down.

3. TOP 3 PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON ⇢ Uhhhh I don’t know? I just kinda get gay sometimes.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF ⇢ Potatoes. All kinda except Scallops.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE ⇢ Im a picky eater so most foods honestly.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE ⇢ Watching these anime: Sgt. Frog, Ghost Stories, Squid Girl, School Rumble, Baka and Test.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN ⇢ a tee shirt and soft pants.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS ⇢ Idk. Im not really into relationship. I have a Queer Platonic Partner but never had anything super serious before.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ⇢ Probably sharing my story about a certain VA being a creep when I was a kid on twitter. It got me way too much harrassment, death threats, and I got doxxed which puts my family in danger from these lunatics.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON ⇢ Depends on how my body wants to act. I love being affectionate but sometimes being touched feels like knives on me just from a poke.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN ⇢ The Book Thief, Coco, Moana, Frozen 2.

12. FAVORITE BOOK ⇢ The Book Thief.

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE ⇢ Frog. All the frogs.

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS ⇢ Uhh Catmeleon (Ilia/Blake from RW//BY), Bees (Blake/Yang from RW//BY), Shigadabi, Kyoru, KiaVu (Lion King 2).

15. PIE OR CAKE ⇢ pie.

16. FAVORITE SCENTS ⇢ CHERRIES.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSHES ⇢ Don’t really have any.

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO ⇢ I’d take my SO to All the Didney worlds!

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT ⇢ Introvert.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY ⇢ Kinda? Not scared of like the concept of ghosts or monsters/demons but bugs and jumpscares get me, also with actual physical needles.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID ⇢ Iphone.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES ⇢ Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons, Animal Crossing, Pokemon, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon.

23. DREAM JOB ⇢ Actor.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS ⇢ move to my SO and get us a house together.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE ⇢ Don’t really hate any.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER ⇢ Uh Hetalia, RW//BY (love the characters but the fandom is always making me mad and if the show goes how I think it is I’ll end up dropping after next season) Hunger Games, Marvel.

Tagged By: @spitecremated

Tagging: Everyone who hasn’t done it yet!!

[outofthisgxlaxy]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

Can be used to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

TAGGED BY: Taken from @whereverthemusetakesme​ TAGGING: Whoever wants to!

1. FIRST NAME: Cat (will also answer to Corgi or Phantom)

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I like the idea of burgers, but cannot bring myself to eat more than maybe a couple of bites. Something about the texture of the meat makes me want to gag. It might be because I threw up after eating a McDonalds burger in my youth, but I can’t be certain. I also cannot make myself eat ground beef as a result. Ground turkey is fine! I can eat that no problem. But ground beef is like my kryptonite.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Eyes, for sure. Especially blue eyes. Um... I guess smiles, too? And idk for the last one.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Dumplings, specifically the recipe my little sister uses. She makes the best dumplings.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: Ground beef, as seen above. As a kid I convinced myself I hated peanut butter, too, but I actually don’t mind it. I also really can’t stand gravy. Too many incidents as a child of mistaking gravy for ranch when all I wanted was ranch sauce.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: Eating buttered popcorn dipped in nutella with a nice sprinkling of salt on the popcorn. It’s so bad for me but it tastes so good.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Usually a tee shirt and pajama pants.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Serious.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: If I could go back in time, I for sure would change how I handled myself in middle school. I was the awkward quiet girl and was more of a crybaby than I care to admit. If I’d learned sooner to just not react to people trying to get a reaction from me, I’d have had a much easier time of things. But then I don’t think I would be as close to my little sister as I am, and we’ve always been really close, so... I dunno.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: With the right people, absolutely. You have to be someone I’m really close to, like a really good friend, a close family member, or say... my boyfriend.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: There’s a lot, honestly. If I had to pick just one, though, it would be Howl’s Moving Castle.

12. FAVORITE BOOK: The Count of Monte Cristo, oh my goodness. When I was assigned it in my senior year of high school for summer reading, I thought I was going to hate it simply based on the length. We had to read the unabridged version. Once I really got into it, it sunk its claws into me deep and did not let go. The twists, the turns, the characters... it’s all so good. No adaptation is ever going to hold a candle to it for me, and honestly that does make me sad to a degree.

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: A RIVER OTTER!

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: Tiana/Naveen, Steven/Connie, Ivanova/Marcus, Howl/Sophie, and Ruby/Sapphire.

15. PIE OR CAKE: Cake. However, I do like a good slice of chocolate silk pie.

16. FAVORITE SCENT: Popcorn that’s been freshly made, bonus points if it’s still hot.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: When I was just entering my teens, I had a massive crush on Elijah Wood. I’m not ashamed to admit that. It was to the point that I named our cat at the time Frodo because the cat had these really striking blue eyes like Elijah Wood. But these days I don’t think I have one.

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, ever since I saw Lilo & Stitch. I’d love to go back to Britain again someday in the near future (current events in our world providing the chance to), um... I feel like there’s other places I’ve wanted to travel to. But I’m not thinking of them.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Total introvert.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: Yeah... I think I kind of do. If you come into the room when I’m really invested in something I’m doing and I don’t hear you, and you speak out of nowhere, I will jump. I once saw a guy doing some gardening outside a window of an apartment I was at while I was doing something, thought it was some guy trying to break in, and legitimately made this noise. I can still hear it in my head. But I did calm down when I realized it was just a gardener.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: iPhone

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: I have ever since I was really little, all thanks to my big brother. As a really young child, my favorite games were Yoshi’s Story, Diddy Kong Racing, Spyro, and Pokemon. Pokemon still has its claws in me to this day, as does Animal Crossing which I didn’t get into until I was a little older. I tend to stick to cutesy looking games, but now and then you’ll find a total oddball in my gaming library like No More Heroes or Layers of Fear.

23. DREAM JOB: It used to be literally anything at Disney World, but... I’ve since realized that’s a dream probably way too far out of my reach. So these days, I don’t really have one.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: I’d for sure use some of it to make it so my boyfriend and I can be together reasonably. Maybe find a nice house for us to stay in. Nothing too big but nothing too small. Maybe get a corgi? Otherwise... I’d probably follow Greg’s example and use the money to help people closest to me rather than spending super large quantities on myself.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: Okay, so... I have a very irrational hatred for the Pokemon Entei. And I say it’s irrational because it developed when I was a child because it was the literal one thing keeping me from catching Ho-Oh in Crystal. I’m pretty sure it took me a stupid long time to finally be able to catch it, and when I did catch it I stuck it in a box and never looked back.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: Technically 101 Dalmatians. That fandom is... cursed. I only say technically because I do enjoy 101 Dalmatian Street. I just don’t participate in the fandom that much.

[malvchis]

hello it’s violet Back with another late intro ! this is me from the future :-) i rewrote this intro like a little over three months ago and i’m too excited to play him to write it a third time so just like this post and i’ll come to you for plotting ! but until then here’s my angsty / lowkey softie / highkey garbage Son <3 for future reference i’d like to say this vine is also 1000% him okay thank u for ur time

a CHARLES MELTON lookalike just rolled into new york city in their PORSCHE 911 SPORT CLASSIC. MALACHI ROTHSCHILD just had a birthday bash for his TWENTY-THIRD  birthday. i doubt he’ll make it here in new york city since i hear he tends to be DOGMATIC, but on the other hand he is STOIC. ( cismale & he/him )  

「 *.:｡*𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓼. 」

FULL NAME: malachi saul rothschild. NICKNAME(S): mal, m, kai. AGE: twenty two. DATE OF BIRTH: july 15th, 1996. ASTROLOGY SIGN: cancer sun, aries moon, capricorn rising. GENDER: male. PRONOUNS: he / him / his. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual. LANGUAGES SPOKEN: english, spanish, some greek. OCCUPATION: musician. BIOLOGICAL PARENTS: cassandra & wren rothschild. STEP PARENT(S): tba. SIBLINGS: lilia rothschild ( sixteen ). PET(S): none. CHILDREN: none. RELIGION: grew up in a catholic household, but agnostic. DRINK / DRUGS / SEX: yes / yes / yes. FACECLAIM: calum hood. EYE COLOR: brown. HAIR: brunette. HEIGHT: 6′2. RIGHT/LEFT HANDED: right. TATTOOS: i’ll come up with this later but he def has a spongebob tattoo on his ankle he got when he was drunk TRAITS: diligent, altruistic, reverent, dogmatic, taciturn, brooding. NOTABLE HABITS: smokes at least three cigarettes a day, zones out during most conversations, drums his fingers against any surface when he’s nervous. NECESSITIES: pack of marlboro cigarettes, airpods, vintage band tees. LIKES: sweatshirts, naps, driving, adrenaline, performing in front of huge crowds. DISLIKES: cantaloupe, sleeping alone, not meeting someone’s standards, materialism. DISORDER(S): generalized anxiety.

「 *.:｡*𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂. 」  

so my backstory is gonna be pretty similar since i haven’t changed that at all and it’s already pretty fleshed out heh

basically malachi’s parents are well-known by his father owning one of the top 10 law firms in the us and his mom is a child actress turned real housewife star ( think brandi glanville or kyle richards if u watch rhobh )

growing up with a younger sister, he was expected to be the golden child of the family and for a little while he was just that

he got good grades and did whatever his dad told him to do like growing up malachi looked up to his dad so much that was his idol

so taking over the law firm and all was fine because he wanted to be just like him u know

then one day at a friend’s house he played guitar hero and his life changed…. Forever :-)

i wish i was kidding but it literally did

he bought the game and would play it for HOURS straight but it wasn’t a real guitar so he went out a bought one and the rest is history <3

malachi was taught to always say the right thing and never truly learned how to express himself so he did it through writing and eventually the guitar and writing kinda tied in together

and of course his dad didn’t approve heh ! which was understandable at first because his grades started slipping in middle school and he kinda got lost in music

also he kinda stopped taking himself so serious and lowkey became the class clown charm is all apart of the rockstar lifestyle it makes sense fight me

so he was getting in trouble more frequently and his dad was getting sick of paying off whoever he needed to make it all go away u know

and i feel like malachi was given internships to go to every summer when he turned 15/16 and he never went to those :-)

it got to the point where his dad would like physically throw his guitar to smash it and he’d threaten to cut malachi off if he didn’t take his future seriously ( tw: drug mention ) and so malachi had to resort to selling his mom’s antidepressants at parties to pay for his equipment because his dad was cutting him off

and he’d try to reach out to his mom but she’s honestly off in her own world and she loves pretending everything’s fine sdjksk it’s a lil dark but it’s FINE

so i think for the sake of keeping the family intact he played along for a little and was basically his dad’s puppet for his junior/senior year of hs

but he dropped out last minute and moved to new york to start his music career all by himself fun :-)

he’s lived in new york for about 5 years now so keep that in mind ok omg i think that’s all

「 *.:｡*𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂. 」

before i start i’d just like to say his vc is joji but for purposes of him performing at coachella with his boys, his second vc is mac demarco !

i’m picky and idk which voice i like better for malachi so we’ll see :)

ok so in my first intro i said he’s a lowkey softie but i was wrong

he’s a HUGE softie 90% of the time it’s bad but my excuse is that he’s a cancer so he’s sensitive aubrey

he doesn’t really show it unless it’s through song writing though because he’s a cliche but that’s the best way for him to do it

he’s a very boombox over the shoulder kind of person 

definitely a mix of being rebellious and stubborn ! he doesn’t really know how to listen to anybody besides himself because listening to himself has gotten this far so u know

basically that gifset of kim k going “thanks for your lovely advice but i’m not gonna take it”

relationship-wise it takes him months of fully getting over someone but it also takes him .5 seconds to fall in love with someone new he’s gross

omg he’s also super protective of people he cares about that’s his redeeming quality for sure

he’ll fully punch out anybody that messes with his friends and he’s done it before

oh also he somehow always gets into bar fights ? like 90% of the time without fail it’s either his drunk ass picking on some guy 10 times bigger than him or the other way around so that’s his life honestly

he’s not /as/ reckless as he used to be but if anyone does something dumb he’s definitely there encouraging it

but he’s also the type to just stay home for 3 days straight playing video games or writing music or napping since he loves those

don’t get me wrong though if he’s in the mood to party he’ll go all out and do c*ke off of everyone

he’s a very all or nothing person like there’s no such thing as moderation with him and he doesn’t know her

also he’s kinda oblivious most of the time because he’s off in his own world

basically he’s dumb and he never listens to anyone ever thanks

okay so thank god i actually wrote out some wanted connections and honestly most of them are open now so let’s go to town and just mash a bunch of plots together skdjsk

any brotp plot like “the boys are back” hsm 3 kinda thing thanks

brotps apply to any gender though he needs friends akjskdk

family friends

cousins maybe idk?? anything familial is fine with me

childhood friends <3 <3

one-sided crush that’s probably on his side

first love / exes

literally any exes plot i have pretty good ideas for these that mostly ended badly because of him rip

i just have so many songs that i wanna dedicate to people for plots please

BUT we can do exes that ended good or bad because of your muse i’m not picky

good / bad influence

roommates omg if u have to live with mal good luck but it’ll be FUN someone volunteer

enemies or some kind of rivalry/competition thing

frenemies :-)

fwb but also enemies with benefits

crushes that never went anywhere

omg a summer fling hello please

just tell me what u want and i’ll come up with something hehe <3

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #173

“i like the sound of the broken pieces.”

Do you get excited when you learn you have to dress up? No. What brand of hair spray do you use? I don't use that. When you were younger, did you believe you could fly? Maybe? Favorite farm animal? Pigs! Have you ever written or considered writing a play? No. Have you ever had kidney stones? No. Have you ever been sedated or put under anesthesia? Yes. Have any of your friends ever cheated on somebody? *shrugs* Pin the tail on the donkey - fun or stupid? I loved it as a kid. Still would have fun. In your opinion what is one of the ugliest cars on the road? I'm not knowledgeable on car names, but those box-looking ones are definitely up there. Have you ever been on the very top floor of a skyscraper? NO. Have you ever won anything out of one of those crane machines? Yeah. Can you remember being taught how to ride a bike? Was it hard for you? Yeah, I don't think it was too hard. How many instruments do you own/have you owned? Three: Recorder, flute, guitar. Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? No. Have you ever had an ear infection? All the time as a kid until I had tubes put in, then I had one from Hell itself early this year because my former doctor was a fucking idiot. Do you own or rent your home? Rent. Are your parents in good health? No. Well maybe Dad is all right, but he doesn't look to be in great health. He's too skinny. Have you picked up any new hobbies in the past year? No. If you have a significant other, how old were you when you first met them? Like, ten. How old were they? Eight-ish. Is English your first language? If not, was it hard to learn? Yes. Have you ever worn a costume for any reason other than Halloween? Dance recitals/competitions. Is there anything you’re a snob about? I don't believe so. Are you open to trying new foods or would you prefer to stick to foods you love and have often? I'm hesitant to try new foods. Have you ever had a ‘summer fling’? If yes, did it continue when summer ended? No. Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? No. Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts? No. Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No. Are you a vegetarian? If yes, how long have you been a vegetarian for and what are your reasons for being one? If no, do you think you’d ever like to stop eating meat? Not anymore, but I was for a couple months. I wish I could be one permanently; the way animals are butchered is horrific, and I don't want to take any part in their consumption. I see their lives as equal to mine. I'm not anymore for two reasons: 1.) Willpower, and 2.) my diet without meat is too carb-focused as I couldn't dedicate myself to enough vegetables (especially) and fruit. If for some reason you were were unable to get to a supermarket for the weekend (let’s say you were snowed in or something) which item would be the worst for you to run out of - toilet paper or toothpaste? Toilet paper. I mean both would be gross, but. I'd be more disgusted if I couldn't clean myself after using the bathroom, especially if, y'know. I could at least use mouthwash for the latter. Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..) No, and yup. Jason broke up with me over Facebook Messenger after a serious three-and-a-half-year relationship. Yeah, pathetic. Does it irritate you when people are late for things, or do you not really care? Not really. But I guess it depends on the occasion. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No Have you ever burned yourself while taking something out of the oven? No. I don't mess around with the oven. Have you ever made out in your room? Last time? Not in my current room. Have you ever injured yourself while you were under the influence of alcohol? No. When was the last time you were bitten by a bug? Idk. What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven in a car? I guess on a highway maybe I accidentally approached 80 mph? Have you ever had a dream where you could understand a foreign language? No. Have you ever owned a beanbag chair? I think so. Are you a fan of retro things? Y E A H Have you ever used pastels? Yeah, made a few things with them in high school art class. What’s the limit on how much you would pay for a shirt? Ohhhh idk... I'm a sucker for band tees especially. I suppose I'd be hesitant once it hits $40. Is it currently humid where you are? No. Who were the last people you hung out with? Just Mom. How many different colors have you dyed your hair? Black, red, purple. Do you feel safe where you live? Yeah. Where have you considered moving to? I'd like to move to the mountains once I'm independent. Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Lol yup. Did you know I had ADHD? :^) Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you? No. Are you against abortion? Not in all cases. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Not maliciously. Back when it was a "thing," Megan and I "hacked" into each other's YouTube accounts to write lovey-dovey shit in our descriptions. Who is the first person who broke your heart? Dad when he left. If you only mean romantically, everyone knows who. Do you know anyone who has fought in a war? Not to my knowledge. What’s the last song you danced to? No clue. Do you tend to be self-destructive? Eh, there's a moderate chance when something goes wrong. Self-bashing thoughts are easy to let in. What religion are you? Theist. Who is the last person you gave a ride to, and where did you take them? I don't have a license. Have you ever been shot? No. What is the coolest thing you can do? I dunno. Do you have anything from past relationships? Yeah, just like, plushies. And a small jewelry box. Do you like coconut water? Never tried it, and I doubt I'd like it. I hate coconut. Do you have a Nintendo Switch? No. At what venue was the last concert you attended? Idr. Do you think stained glass windows are pretty? YES. Are you scared of snakes? No. Have you had your wisdom teeth removed? No. I have my two bottom ones, but I was told there's enough room in my mouth for them to not be a big issue. X-rays show none on my top row. Do you like hard or soft pretzels better? Soft. Has anyone ever asked for your phone number, and you refused to give it to them? I believe so. Are you ready for children? Never will be. Does it take you a while to actually get jokes? Occasionally. Have you ever bleached your hair? Yes, to get it dyed. Do you like jelly beans? Depends on the flavor. Who taught you how to apply make-up? Myself, I guess? Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? House. Do you prefer Small Business Saturday, Black Friday, or Cyber Monday? Cyber Monday, man. Which do you prefer: iPhones, Android, Blackberries, or something else? iPhone. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? No no no ew. Are there more photos or music files on your computer? Photos. Say something about the band/artist you’re listening to right now. I'm listening to "Professional Griefers" by deadmau5 ft. Gerard Way. I have no opinion on the band (this is the only song I know), but loooove me some Gerard. What is your favorite thing about the summer, besides the the no school thing? Just swimming. Are you similar to your sibling(s), personality-wise? How so? Nope. Well, my mom's eldest daughter is quite like me. We're both more quiet people that feel deeply and suffer from bipolarity. Do you watch amateur song covers on YouTube? No, but fun fact! I got into YT because Nicole wanted me to listen to "Before He Cheats" covers with her. I found the MM fandom, and it was all over. Which YouTuber have you learned the most from? About life and such, easily Mark. As far as obscure knowledge goes, Good Mythical Morning/Rhett and Link. What is your favorite type of church that you’ve visited? Visually, Catholic. What different types of churches have you visited? Catholic and Christian. What type of church do you hate or dislike? I don't *hate* or even "dislike" any just for their existence. Who would you want to be the flower girl at your wedding? My niece Aubree, buuut considering there's a 99% chance I'll be marrying a woman, her dad would never allow it. It might even be "too far" for Ash. What group are you most active in on Facebook? None. I pay most attention to the WoW ones I'm in, but I don't really take part, especially since I'm not currently playing. Are you ashamed of anything? Yes. What were your favorite Disney rides as a kid? I think it was called Splash Mountain? Have you read the entire Bible? No. How old were you when you first dyed your hair? Uhhh however old I was my freshman year of high school since middle didn't allow dyed hair. Do you dye your hair regularly? No, sadly. ;-; Can't afford to. What is the most comfortable type of pants, in your opinion? Pj pants, man. Do you think you have what it takes to make it big in the entertainment biz? HAHA NO. Do you have a job now? If so, what is it? No. Currently going through VR to hopefully change that. List 10 favorite girls’ names. Alessandra, Josephine, Evangeline, Chloe, Evelyn, Fallon, Heather, Amani, Violet, and Ellie. List 10 favorite boys’ names. Damien, Vincent, Victor, Luther, Severin, Alexander, Aiden, Jaxson, Shawn, and Jamie. Which stereotype do you fit the most? Uhhhh idk?? Geek??? Are you thankful for social media, or do you wish it didn’t exist? I'm thankful for it. Do you think social media is beneficial? Or is it destructive? It's perfectly capable of being either. Have you ever been socially awkward? Hi, I'm Brittany. How old were you when you started puberty? Around 11? Do you think of baby names you like often? No. What health issues do you have? B O I severe social and generalized anxiety, AvPD, chronic depression, bipolar 2, OCD, PTSD, I think ADD, vertigo, inactive MRSA, severe dry mouth, the humiliating excessive sweating, carpal tunnel in both wrists, we're tryna figure out the fuck's wrong with my knees, and moderate-severe tremors. Is that it???? What are some health problems you have had in the past? Insomnia seemed to fuck off thank Christ, ear infections. What are some of the best medications you’ve ever had? The medical combo that is partially responsible for saving my life is Latuda + Lamictal. What is your favorite pizza topping? It depends on the place that makes the pizza, but to be safe, I get pepperoni at most places. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? Johny Paranormal is a sweetheart, but I don't watch him regularly. Most others I watch have at least/almost 1M subs, so I don't think you could call them "small." Have you ever made money off of YouTube? No. What was a video you watched over and over as a kid? Oh my GOD there was this guy who made a video to "Gasolina" by whoever-the-fuck and Nicole and I were obsessed with it??? Do you own a pair of fishnets? Gloves. Are you sore right now? No. Have you ever experienced depression as a side effect? Lol I'm diagnosed with it, so. Because I have bipolarity too though but was medicated for depression, my bipolar symptoms were worsened and thus sometimes depression. (Learned being on anti-depressants while simultaneously being bipolar is only destructive.) Have you ever been suicidal as a withdrawal symptom? I don't believe so. How old were you when you got braces? Idk, sometime in middle school? How old were you when you started wearing glasses (if applicable)? High school, I think?? Are you good at remembering names? NO. When was the last time you held someone’s hand? Few days back at the movie theater. A preview for a movie that took place in a psych hospital came on, so Mom grabbed my hand tight, knowing it gave me bad memories. I was all right, but. Woulda rather not have seen it. Movie looked stupid anyway. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. Block out sound and you hear everything so well. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I honestly feel I'm capable, but I won't. Do you have any clothes with spikes/studs on them? I have a spiked choker and a studded bracelet, but I think that's it rn. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? Dead serious, I want to at some point get Darkiplier's first appearance/smile above/to the side of my left elbow by a really professional artist. I'll take my stanning behavior to the grave. Do you get exercise daily? No, but I really would like a treadmill. Something easy like that. Work my shit knees, too. Which emoji would you be most apt to dress up as? I don't????? know???????? Which do you think is better, DIY costume or storebought costumes? DIY!! You can get sooo creative. Do you stay out of stupid arguments online? I try to. I'll butt in though if I feel it necessary and/or beneficial. Do you want a new phone? Why or why not? More like I need one. Drops calls randomly, restarts at random, doesn't always do what I click. What book do you think should be made into a movie? Idk. Do you know anyone with a service dog? No. Do you like babies? Why or why not? Nooooo. Annoying as actual fuck, can't properly communicate with them, needy as hell, etc. etc. I'm not at all expecting anything more from them, they're babies, I personally just don't usually enjoy them. What is something most people don't know about you? I RP. Did you earn a title in the senior class polls? If so, what? No. How many teachers have bullied you? None. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? No. Snickerdoodles or s'mores? S'mores! What is something you remember enjoying very much as a small child? Webkinz. As a child, were you a sore loser or a sore winner? I don't believe so. Did you play with siblings, neighborhood kids, or by yourself? All of those. Have you ever, or would you like to attend a gaming or comic convention? YEAH. What's your opinion on online multiplayer games? Well, I went through a WoW addiction, so I obviously didn't hate it. I tend to enjoy single-player, though. Who is the most important person in your life (besides yourself)? Sara. Do you find it easy to make friends now? If not, what makes it difficult? NO BC I FEAR HUMAN INTERACTION AND JUDGMENT. If you live alone, what would be your criteria for a roommate? I don't live alone. But let's say I did: No drugs, no smoking, female, CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF, and by this point, you'd probably have to be my s/o. I'm almost 23 so am more interested in working towards settling down in a place with her versus nightly sleepovers with a friend. How about criteria for a spouse, if you're single? Jfc a lot, I am PICKY. What is something you do every day without fail? Go to the bathroom when I wake up. What is your typical breakfast? Cereal or a meal supplement shake. Or nothing. Is there a TV show you watch habitually? No. Where do you usually spend most of your day? In my room. Do you usually have something playing in the background when you're home? Yup, either a let's play (only background /usually/ if I've already visually watched it and I'm just revisiting) or music. Where do you usually get your groceries? Wal-Mart or Harris Teeter. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries. How about your favorite berry? ^ Which trait in a person do you find most appealing? Compassionate. Care for more than yourself. Which trait puts you instantly off? Cockiness. Who is an actor/actress who you dislike so much you can't watch them? No one. Do you donate money to any charities? If so, which ones? I can't currently as I don't have a source of income. If you have pets, are any of them rescues from shelters? No. Have you ever had to rely on other people's charity? When we got evicted, yes. Is there a charity you absolutely never ever will trust? There are some that I know are full of shit, but nothing's coming to mind at the moment. Have you ever donated to a cause that had a person going door to door? No. Is there a book series you're currently collecting? No. Which website do you frequent the most? YouTube and KM. Do you judge people who have their phones out all the time? If so, why? Not really... It's where we are now. Technology is truly the dominant species. If your connection goes down, what do you do? Restart the router. Is there something you wish you could do online that isn't possible yet? Sure, like uh. Oh yeah lemme fucking hug YouTubers when they hug the camera and that sort'a shit. What was a website you used to frequent that doesn't exist anymore? Uhhh... I don't know about them no longer existing. Maybe this HUGE flash game site we used to go on. Do/Did you ever have your own website? For photography I do. Have you ever kissed an ex after you two have broken up? No. When was the last time you talked to your most recent ex? It's been quite a while, actually. Are you racist to any race? No. Can you break dance? No. Have you made out with anyone in the last 2 weeks? Yes. She was ready and it was the cutest shit on Earth because she'd never done so before and had no clue what to do so we were giggling uncontrollably. Literally one of the purest experiences in my life. Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? I haven't shaved my legs since like June. Have you ever been professionally waxed? How did you find it? If you haven’t, is it something you’d consider trying? Eyebrows, yeah. It's a better way than plucking. What do you think of very cheap airlines, such as Ryanair? Would you fly with them or would you rather pay more for better service? Biiiitch no, I wanna feel safe. Does your mom like the last person you kissed? She loves her. Is there a secret you've never told your parents? Yes. Who last gave you their number? Uhhhh good question. Honestly, are you afraid to die? I mean I sure don't want to yet, but I'm not especially *afraid* of it. Have you ever had an ice cream cake for your birthday? No, not a big fan. Did you get a car the minute you turned sixteen? Lol I still don't have one. What do you want to major in? Zoology. When was the last time you kissed someone who was younger than you? The 17th. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yeah.

[metricanxiety]

for diamonds do appear to be just like broken glass to me

Genre: oneshot- idk. 

Pairing: Phan. (dan and phil in case you didnt know that already.)

AU: Highschool/sixth form. Whatever you prefer. 

Warnings: Swearing, underage ??, mentions to sex 

Summary: After two years of heartbreak, Dan ends up sleeping with Phil off a drunken decision, and old, unexpected feelings come back up. 

Author’s note: i am aware that this is really crap, but i am trying to improve, so please send me requests of prompts, hc’s, etc, because I will write them for you when I get the time. I’m kinda new to posting on tumblr sooooo. PLease keep this out of the main tags, (i.e danielhowell, danisnotonfire, amazingphil, philllester, etc) because i did not write this for them to see. If you are uncomfortable with mentions of gay sex/same sex relationships then im pulling a mannymua and telling you to please dont fucking read it. 

“Pretty pretty.” Phil kissed the dimple adorned on the boy’s cheeks, making them turn a deep crimson. It wasn’t often they could be alone, where it was just the two of them, and they could do whatever they wanted. Dan was completely content. He was wrapped in the arms of Phil Lester, the guy that he’d completely fallen for. And although they were only young, he could sense something really strong between them. 

Phil was warm, having his Adventure Time sweatshirt pulled over him, and a blanket draped over his legs. Dan rested comfortably between Phil's knees, back to his chest. The blanket, which they were sharing, was up to Dan’s chest, as he didn’t have a hoodie on. Phil’s arms crossed over Dan’s chest, with no plan of letting go. It was moments like these that Phil longed for. He couldn’t wait to have someone special to him, so they could be entertained just from the company of one another. And he finally had it. 

Dan couldn’t help but to think about how lucky he was in that moment. Normally, on Fridays, Phil would be off with friends, spending time with them, but due to a holiday trip, they weren't going to be doing anything all together this summer. Which meant Dan had Phil all to himself. 

Phil leaned down, pressing his lips to the skin poking out of Dan’s tee, and it may have been the cold, but Dan shivered under the touch. This was all new to him, he’d never been in a proper relationship before, or had anything romantically special with somebody before. So he was still growing accustomed to the constant affection, not that he didn’t like it, but everything was so new. 

Dan turned his head slightly, only to see Phil, resting his chin on his shoulder. Phil tilted his head to look at Dan, and they both smiled, bumping their noses together. 

It was Dan to finally close the gap, kissing Phil, just because he could. 

- 

When Dan was awoken this early morning, he wasn’t aware he had company. His eyes fluttered open when the rays of sun washed over his face, blinding him. The curtains were never closed the night before, because well, he didn’t even remember half of last night. The sun light lit up Dan’s bedroom, making the edges of his desk shine bright with the natural highlight accentuating the sharp corners. His plant drank up all the light it could get, as it never got much in the first place in it’s dark corner of the room. The pictures that littered his wall had a glare, making the faces unidentifiable, but Dan knew them well enough to know who was being blurred out. 

Dan’s hand formed a fist, and rubbed both eyes, as if it would help him wake up, wipe away his constant feeling of restlessness, but alas, it never worked. He yawned, leaning over to check his electric that sat on his bedside table. The numbers lit up in read told the brunet that it was half past six. Dan groaned, throwing the white duvet over his waist, as he swung his legs over the side of the bed, getting ready to be up for the day. A chill washed over his skin, giving his goose flesh up and down his arms, realizing that, yes, he was completely naked. Not a cloth bared on his back. 

Dan decided that maybe a few more hours of sleep would do, even though there was probably people piled in his downstairs level of his house from last night’s endeavors. They’d be okay for a little while. 

Dan was known for his awesome parties, that’s the only thing keeping his name high in the food chain at school. And lat night was special: the first party of their last year of sixth form. It had to be amazing, because there was now a countdown to the very last party of their secondary school life. Everyone knew Dan would do well with this important night, and judging on what he remembered, he nailed it. 

He tugged the duvet back up, flopping down onto his side, and was startled when he saw a body directly next to him, in his own bed. 

And it wasn’t just a random stranger from his class, no, it was Lucifer himself. 

Phil Lester. 

Dan couldn’t believe it, because holy fuck he actually gave into this bastards antics, after two goddamn years of rejection, Dan finally gave in. And he hated himself for it. 

You see, Dan never got on with Phil. At least, that’s what Dan told himself. When they were both sixteen, they had this fling over the summer, but they never took it farther than cuddling and holding hands. But, before school started, Dan thought he was finally with the guy of his dreams, but then dumped because friends got back from holiday. Specifically, Phil’s friends. 

Dan was so heart broken, he didn’t ever think he would be able to leave the safety of his bedroom ever again. He never thought that Phil, his Phil, would ever hurt him after what happened between them. Sadly, however, people make promises that the probably will not keep, which Dan had learned the hard way. 

Ever since, Dan watched Phil, seeing that he wasn’t the only rose petal being ripped apart by Phil’s hands, he wasn’t the only broken heart in the school. Poor, sweet, Liz Brekell, thought Phil was the love of her life after being asked out by him. She swooned over his exterior, and, even Dan admitted, was pretty fucking hot. Phil had muscles in all the right places, with straight, black hair that swept to the right, and his fucking smile, it definitely stole the show. But sadly, Liz was dropped for well, the net girl to drop to her knees. It was disgusting to Dan, that he too, had fallen for the scumbag called Phil Lester. 

Dan gasped, brown eyes met blue, one screaming out of horror, disgust, the other of smug, and satisfaction. Phil had a fucking smirk spread across his cheeks, and Dan tugged his duvet away, covering his modesty. Phi, however, didn’t budge. The look in his eyes began the memories to flood back into Dan’s mind. 

The alcohol, the kissing, the dancing, all the way until They stumbled into Dan’s bedroom, lips attached, zippers being pulled, buttons being ripped. Everything happened so fast, Dan felt as if he couldn’t breath. 

“Morning, sunshine.” Phil’s voice was deep, raspy from its lack of moisture, and the strum of his vocal chords was probably the most sexy thing Dan had ever heard in his entire life. And if he didn’t have self control, he would have melted in Phil’s fingertips right then and there. Instead, he built up his walls of defense mechanisms. Last night was a mistake, he decided. 

What Dan didn’t know, was that Phil thought it was hilarious that Dan hated him. He loved it, actually. Phil always liked a challenge. But when the rumors spread, about Dan and him, he was broken to have known Dan was no longer interested At least, that.s what Kyle Lockins said. So Phil did what any man would, moved on, and tried to make him jealous. He only succeeded at one of those things. He only really wanted the boy he had grown close to that one summer, the boy he kissed for the first time in the flatbed of his dad’s truck, under the stars of the country side. 

A true night to remember, one of the best nights of Phil’s life, and he let the precious diamonds slip through his fingers, mixing with sand after returning to the rocks he was used to. Dan shined brighter than any gem in the treasure chest of their student population. But Phil could never say that out loud. Picking up pieces of the diamond you lost is more difficult than thought. 

Phil shifted closer to Dan, trying to edge himself to the point of human contact, just to be able to touch him, but Dan had other thoughts. Dan did not want Phil any closer than the 38 centimeters they had between them, and ended up falling off the bed on the process. In some degree, Phil was hurt, but at the same time, he needed to take the situation in Dan’s perspective. He, as dd Phil, barely remembered last night, and was woken up to be naked in the same bed with the person he hated for two years now. He had to give the guy a little space. 

“Oh my g-” Dan couldn’t even finish his sentence, before covering his entire face with his hands. the duvet flopped down over his waist, but was still half on the bed, over Phil. Dan wasn’t a monster, so he left it. 

Phil too had his defense mechanisms, his just wasn’t as effective as Dan’s. He hid his emotions through flirting, being an asshole, basically turning into someone he isn’t. It was a barrier that very few people had broken down, but unfortunately for Dan, they built back up for him, without a realization he’d even torn them down. 

Last night, Phil didn’t even know how he convinced Dan to sleep with him, because any time Phil tried to get Dan’s attention, he’d get shot down. Fuck, he wasn’t even personally invited to this party, like everyone else was. (Phil had no idea how Dan had talked to so many people to invite them to a party, because usually the entire class, plus more showed.)

“Dan, let me-” Phil began, but was interrupted by a sudden jolt, seeing the boy that was in his arms not ten hours ago, hide under the duvet. 

“Just get your clothes and go.” 

His beautiful voice, in Phil’s opinion, was muffled by the thick fabric separating the oxygen into two. He could never have Dan like this again anytime soon, but had to respect his wishes. Phil rolled off the bed, sliding on a pair of boxers, followed by his jeans. He didn’t want to waste too much time, as the embarrassment of the situation was worsening by the second. 

Dan heard the door slam shut, and took it as the all clear. Well, not really. Nothing was cleared but his room. His mind had no source of ever being the crystal form of relaxation ever again, even if he only had that at rare times. 

He had just broken every single rule in his book. That is, he only had one rule, (never fall for Phil again) but he seemed to be having trouble with that. You may be thinking that two years must have been enough time for these two to recover, and get over the bridge of heartbreak, but their connection was so special, Dan thought about it all the time. Sure, Dan had dated a few guys since, but they all just seemed to be short, no longer than two month, flings. Phil was no different, the only thing keeping him out of this category is the fact that Dan and Phil were never dating. Phil was never Dan’s, and Dan was never Phil’s. Yet, it seemed to be the opposite at the time. 

The time Dan and Phil became a thing, Dan had just turned sixteen, and Phil brought him on a date as a birthday present. They’d been talking quite a bit before, but Phil thought this would be his big break with Dan. He was head over heels for the curly brunet, and only wanted him to be happy. He truly was the diamond in the rough in Phil’s eyes. 

He hadn’t kissed Dan until three weeks into the summer, when his dad finally let him borrow the truck. There was a scheduled shooting star shower happening that night, and it was the perfect setting to finally feel Dan’s lips against his own. Phil thinks about that moment every night, to this day. The electricity shared between the two could have lit up a city. And if I’m honest, things may have gotten heated, but Phil never pushed Dan. He was younger, and barely sixteen, and Phil was like, the third person to commit to him. (Dan doesn’t consider the other two important because he was so young.) 

Phil regrets every decision he made by the end of that holiday, however. His friends hated that he was spending too much time on a boy that wouldn’t last, so he kicked Dan to the curb. Rumors spread, and that was it. Yes, he did find it funny that Dan hated him, but there was always apart of him that wanted to prove to Dan that he wasn’t the piece of shit Dan had mad him out to be. 

Dan kicked himself, for he didn’t even remember the feeling of the touch of Phil’s lips against his own last night, Even though he didn’t plan on going back to Phil, he wouldn’t trade what they had for the world. Maybe he needed a reminder, how he felt with him, even if those feelings are no longer adamant. 

But for god’s sake, he fucking slept with Phil. He’d done something that his sixteen year old fantasies were based upon, and he barely remembers it. 

Dan threw his duvet back up onto his bed, walking over to the closet that held his clothing. He felt the same as he did two years ago. Betrayed. Used. Desperate. Feelings he hasn’t felt with anyone else, and he gets so drunk on it. The taste is so bitter, yet so addictive. 

Pulling up a pair of sweat pants, Dan thought he’d kick everyone out now, so he’d have the house to himself. He didn’t want to deal with his feelings, but pushing them away would only make then blow up in his face later on. He didn’t bother with a shirt, nor boxers, but it’s not like he wasn’t going to try and scrub off all of his shame in the shower in ten minutes. 

The minute Dan opened the door out of his bedroom, he regret every substance he allowed into his house. Because not only was there a pungent scent of alcohol lingering in the air, he could smell the weed that people decided to smoke in the living room, which meant he had to wash the fabric until it was gone. Fuck. 

Dan wasn’t really one to say no at parties, but everyone knew they had to at least ask. For example, the first time somebody brought alcohol, they asked Dan if he’d allow it, because it was his house after all. Until it caught on that yes, Dan wants you to bring all the alcohol your heart desires. Other questions consisted of if body shots were allowed, stripping, cigarettes, and now, I guess, marijuana. He doesn’t remember denying the question of weed, so he must have taken a drag last night. Usually he’d be against the whole ‘drug use’ thing, but when he’s drunk, his decisions can be unpredictable. Hence, the fact that he slept with Phil. 

There wasn’t as many people sleeping on his floor as he expected, making his job much easier to complete. He stepped up onto his coffee table, bringing his hands to cup around his mouth. 

“Everyone out!” He yelled. “My parents are on their way!” 

And yeah, he may have been lying, because his parents both traveled for a living, so he still had four days until they’d be home. It was the best solution to get people to wake up, and scatter. People thanked Dan as they headed out the door, a thanks for an amazing night and a night to remember, a party that can only be topped by the final one. He put on his most believable smile, giving brief, friendly hugs to the last of the fish in the sea that was his own home last night. 

The door clicked shut, and Dan immediately fell against the wall. His back slid down to the floor, and he pulled his knees up to his chest, as if he was protecting his heart from shattering, which, in some ways, he was. It took Dan so long to accept that Phil chose his friends over him, that now, it just felt like Phil was hurting him on purpose. He was slowly shattering into millions of pieces of heart break, all over again. 

Dan felt sixteen again, going through the same process of regret, and hurt, all starting with shame. 

He was really glad that last night was not the night he lost his virginity, because that would have made this situation even worse. Even though, that guy wasn’t all that great either. 

His name was Henry, and he was the person to comfort Dan in his mourning over Phil. And, Dan was brainwashed, thinking that some guys are better than the one he fell for, gave him everything he had, but not four weeks later, did the end things. Dan thought he was doomed ever finding any sort of real love. Because even though Dan had Phil for a few short months, he still felt something more than just attraction. 

He wished he remembered last night, to feel how Phil touched him, kissed him, felt him. How they connected in a way that they’ve never before, but both under the influence of alcohol running through their veins, making decisions for them before their minds could interfere with all the consequences that would follow. 

Dan just felt like crying, because all of his feelings for the boy who had taken him for granted were flooding back like tidal waves, and if he just hadn’t fucking slept with him everything would have been fine, you dumbass, I can’t believe you-

He dragged his feet back up the carpeted stairs, just enough to turn the tap on his shower. Dan hadn’t quite seen himself that morning yet, so the surprise bruises scattered around his neck was quite the scare he saw in the mirror. 

Hickeys were never something Dan liked, his neck was too sensitive for him to allow people near it, but well, Phil was an exception, he guessed. The marks were deep purple, fading into a red, then his skin tone. They were fucking dark. And they went from his neck, around his collar bones, to his V-line. The thought of having Phil’s mouth all over him made his skin crawl, and shiver. When he was sixteen, he dreamed of Phil’s mouth all over him, and now, after it happened, he only wanted more. 

Phil was always so talented with everything he did, especially kissing, Dan decided. His plump lips were always so smooth against Dan’s, and the one time he actually moved to Dan’s neck, he never left a mark. Now, his neck is sensitive, and his actual skin is no different. He was so surprised when Phil pulled back, leaving no evidence that he was even there. And god, did Dan want proof Phil actually kissed his neck. 

Looking at himself in the mirror now, was like a dream. This was his past self’s goal in life, to be marked up, claimed by Phil Lester himself. Dan had a sudden urge for more, to be covered in hickeys that Phil would have to suck and bite him to leave. Every sad emotion he was having before just turned- dirty. He wanted Phil to come back over, and have sex so they have something to remember by. It could be his teenage hormones, or it could be his crazy talking, but we all know it was both. 

It would have been so easy to just ring him back over, logistically, but Dan had literally kicked Phil out earlier, so he wouldn’t be surprised if Phil hated his guts now. Could he blame him though?

Suddenly, after two years of telling himself no, Dan was saying go for it, despite his rule. Because maybe this was his shot again. Maybe Phil wasn’t an asshole, and had actual reasons to break up with Liz and every other person to ever date him ever, maybe Dan was different. 

All this hype, and confidence, made Dan take the fastest shower he’s ever taken, because ohmigod he was actually going to do this, he was going to make the first move, he was going to invite Phil back over-

He was going to get Phil back. 

Just the though made the sixteen-year-old Dan squeal, and tap his toes on the floor out of impatience. He denied his feelings for Phil every day, and suddenly, his entire path changed. It took a complete 180, because he went from hating Phil with every drop of blood in his body, to trying to get him back. 

Even if it ended up only being sex. 

Dan couldn’t stop staring at himself in the mirror. The marks on his skin, he knew, would turn into some type of drug for him. He loved it. He wanted to look like this all the time. The feeling of being claimed really turned him on, which was, apparently, a kink he had discovered this morning. But it wasn’t just being marked up, and claimed, he wanted it to be done by Phil. 

A simple, comfortable outfit, would have to do for Dan, because, if Phil were to come over, he would need something easy to take off. Joggers and a t-shirt was the best he could do. And as Dan lunged for his bedside table to text Phil, tell him to come back over, he was notified that well, Phil had beat him to it. There were two notifications waiting to be read on his lock screen, both next to the simple name, of just Phil, no emoji, or anything to mark him as someone special. 

Dan- sorry for last night, i understand if you need some space, but i really need to talk to you 

text me if you decide you want to, i guess

Dan’s heart sank like a rock being thrown into the ocean, floating all the way to the bottom before being engulfed by the murky water, making the ocean floor not visible. Dan could’t just invite Phil over now, I mean, it hasn’t been forty minutes since Phil has left, and now things would be awkward, especially since Phil needed to apologize face to face, Dan thought that had to be the reason. 

Then the memory of Liz, having her heart ripped out, and thrown in the garbage, right next to her v-card, by Phil was drawn back into his mind. Liz, who cried for months over Phil, probably never got an apology. What Phil did to Liz, was probably going to happen to Dan, for the second time. 

The urge he had for Phil still remained, however. So Dan did what any person would do, wait it out. 

Phil, on the other hand, was also freaking out. He too, still had feelings for Dan, obviously, and he doesn’t even know how he finally convinced Dan to give him a chance. He thought that after they reconnected, (literally, in this case,) he wouldn’t feel guilty, and everything would be great, and Dan wouldn’t hate him any more than he already did. 

Except not really, they were both drunk and happen to hook up. It wasn’t really Dan giving him another chance, but more so, not saying no. 

Phil could see it now, the broken pieces were coming together, but only if he doesn’t fuck up like he did again. 

-

Phil scrambled for his phone, as he had left every conversation on do not disturb, except for the only person he cared to talk to, and his phone had finally chimed for the first time in two weeks. And it was exactly who he wanted. His beautiful diamond had finally shined over the sand again, and his was so grateful. Phil couldn’t get Dan off of his mind, because unlike Dan, Phil actually remembered that night with Dan more as time went on. And god, did he want Dan like that again. 

He remembered having Dan all laid out in front of his, and he only wanted to kiss him, mark him, because he knew Dan loved it. After two years of trying to get him back, (well, trying to get him to go out, but he was never good at expressing that, as in, he attempts to make Dan jealous) this could finally be it for him. Phil wanted to kiss Dan like he did when they were sixteen. 

He wanted to go back to that summer and change his decisions, so maybe he could have had Dan for as long as he wanted. Because even though Phil dated a few people, he never liked them, and appreciated them, as much as Dan. And they were purely to try and get Dan’s attention back on Phil. It never really worked. 

“Hello?” Phil slid the screen so fast, it may have seemed desperate to Dan, with how quickly he answered. 

“uh, hi, Phil. Look, I’m really sorry about kicking you out the other day, I was overwhelmed and I didn’t know what else to-”

Phil interrupted the sweet voice he had fallen in love with, even though he didn’t want to cut his time short from hearing it. “It’s okay, Dan, I came on too strong, and it was your house, you had the right to do it.” Phil exhaled. He seemed to talk faster and faster as his sentences dragged. Phil could hear Dan’s voice stutter, as if he was about to laugh, but held it back. 

“In the text you sent me, um, you said you needed to, um, talk?” Dan could barely spit out his words. This moment had him so anxious these past two weeks, he basically forced his hand to hit the call button. And even then, he nearly hung up immediately. 

Phil’s eyes lit up, because Dan actually remembered, but Phil didn’t. He couldn’t for the life of him remember what he needed to tell Dan. Of course, he could go with the plain obvious, and just fucking say how hopelessly head over heals he was for Dan, but there was something more, something that was perching on the tip of his tongue, but couldn’t quite spit out. 

“Phil? If you don’t have anything to say, then I should probably-”

“Wait, sorry, just, uh, can we, um, meet?” Phil stumbled. He got onto his knees to attempt to search for his shoes under his bead, eventually pulling out the worn black converse. He held the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he awaited a reply. 

“Like, now?”

“Um, yeah? If that’s okay?” Phil laced up his shoes, and shrugged on a light jacket- the England weather had turned quite shit, with rain being the most common in their area, oppose from the lovely sunshine they had a little bit ago. 

“I don’t know, Phil, I-”

Yeah, two weeks ago Dan was literally ready to have Phil back, but he was glad he gave himself time to think. Because maybe he didn’t want his fucking heart broken again, by the same person that ripped into pieces in the first place. He couldn’t make it that easy for Phil to just waltz back into his life.

“Please? I can be quick, i just don’t want to do this on the phone.” Phil took a deep breath, about to walk out the front door of his house, still not remembering what he had to say to Dan. 

“Fine.”

Phil cut the call, running out to his car, and speeding to get to Dan’s house. 

Dan hadn’t been to keen on letting Phil come over again, but he needed closure, and if having a cup of tea in the awkward silence of his living room meant closure, then so be it. The marks on his neck had faded drastically, but you could still see the ghosting of where there was one before. That wasn’t fun explaining to his parents. 

He really just wanted to take back everything that happened at the party, because it brought up old feelings that he really didn’t want anymore. Dan sighed, running a hand through his hair. What was Phil Lester doing to him?

Dan had his music on the speaker in the leaving room, trying to calm his nerves as he waited for Phil to arrive. And all that was running through his mind was  ohmygodwhy on repeat, but it was too late for him to cancel. He didn’t even know what to expect from Phil this time, if he was looking to just hook up again, or if he was going to apologize, he had no idea. 

Dan tried to distract himself, counting the freckles going up and down his arms, rearranging the cushions on the couch, changing his outfit for the billionth time, he just had to keep himself busy. 

Dan was feeling so anxious over this, he couldn’t stay still, so when he heard the doorbell, his jitters intensified, and he could barely walk to the door without stumbling. He yanked the door open and it looked like Phil was in the same state of him. 

He was wearing all black, and god, did he look so hot, in that form fitting t-shirt, and when he saw Dan, his smile was just so- calming, knowing that yeah, this is Phil. This is the Phil that he care for so deeply two years ago, he was standing right in front of him.The eye contact they shared, it made Dan feel like they were sixteen, both with very awful taste in clothing, inexperienced, and much shorter. 

Dan had forgotten how much Phil actually meant to him, as all he did was suppress the pain he went through when Phil left him.The only reason he didn’t grab Phil’s face, and kiss the life out of him, is the fact that Phil came here to talk. 

“Dan, I-” Phil started, but Dan flung the door open, letting him in. He didn’t want Phil to talk while standing outside, because A) its rude, and B) he didn’t want Phil to just be in and out. 

Phil smiled, walking in, letting Dan lead them to the couch. “Do you want some tea, or anything?” Dan asked, procrastinating this talk even more. Phil chuckled, grabbing Dan’s hands, and pulling him down onto the couch. Dan took a deep breath, trying to relax himself. It was just Phil. 

And that thought scared him. 

Even though he was looking at the Phil he fell for, two years ago, he couldn’t forget about all of the awful things he had done in the time between now, and when they broke off. He just wanted his Phil back.

 “Dan, I wanted to talk to you about what happened between us,” Phil started. Dan sat on one of his leg, so he could face Phil better. He sighed, running a hand through his curly hair.

 “It was a mistake, Phil. We were both drunk, and our bodies did things before our minds could inter-”

“I wasn’t really talking about that. I meant, um, two years ago.” Phil gave a small smile, and Dan’s face fell.

 Dan didn’t really like talking about him and Phil a whole lot, he didn’t want to remember what he felt for Phil, so his solution was to just not say anything about it with people. He hated remembering how happy Phil made him, because it only made him feel responsible for all the shitty feelings people had when with Phil, even though he had no reason to feel that way.

 “Oh.”

“Yeah. I just, I couldn’t stop thinking about you after I made the clearly wrong decision. You were always on my mind, everything I saw reminded me of you, and it was like anything just screamed ‘Dan Howell’ to me, and it honestly was destroying me.“But I couldn’t just go back to you, no, my fucking choice was to try and make you fucking jealous, and end up hurting you more, and I was hurting others because I just, it didn’t feel the same. 

“Now don’t get me wrong, I loved the fact that you hated me. I have no idea why, it was just, I don’t know, I found it so hot that you didn’t like me, or some god awful reason, and it was like a challenge for me to win you back.” Dan’s frown was slowly turning into a smile. 

Phil wasn’t even looking at him as he spoke, but his hands were moving all around, expressing so much passion into this conversation as he rambled. Dan couldn’t believe that this was all about him, Phil was talking from his heart, and he was falling for him all over again.

 “And I thought I was over you, I really did, but when you started dating someone, it would make my skin crawl.” Phil laughing slightly when Dan did, and Dan moved a little closer to Phil, laying his arm across the back on the couch, as if he had his arm around Phil, without touching him. “I couldn’t even imagine somebody holding you under the stars like we used to do, because I was supposed to be the person doing that. I was supposed to be the person holding your hand in the car as Muse blasted through the speakers, I was supposed to be the person running my fingers through your hair when you were stressed, and couldn’t deal with anything else. I hated the fact that I had taken the connection we had for granted.”

Dan blushed, looking away from Phil. His words were magic, and he could tell Phil had thought about this a lot. Phil grabbed Dan’s hand, bringing his attention back to him. And Dan let Phil hold his hand, something that Phil thought he would never be able to do again. His slightly calloused fingers slotted perfectly into his, and he swore he felt sparks when they touched. 

“And then we fucking slept together. We slept together, Dan! I barely remember anything, but I knew I had convinced you, I had kissed you, and I hate myself for it, because I didn’t have the guts to tell you how much I fucking like you sober. Because I do, god, I do. And I just, I’ve wanted you back since that summer. Since our summer had ended.” Phil had moved himself so they were almost on top of each other. Dan’s mind was racing, everything he had just said made him want to cry. Nobody had ever spoken about him that way, and the feeling was so indescribable.

They sat there, remaining eye contact with one another, hand in hand, processing the feeling just exchanged, and Dan did it. He launched forward, smashing his lips against Phil’s, nearly knocking him over. Phil responded immediately, letting go of Dan’s hand, and bringing them to his back. Dan brought his hands around Phil’s neck, and pushed him, so he was laying on top of Phil. 

Both of them laughed, when they separated for air, bumping their noses together. Phil leaned back up, pressing their lips together. They had forgotten how amazing their kissing was, electricity was flowing through their bodies, sparks were flying, because fucking finally, they realized hoe meant for each other they were. Their lips moved together as if it were natural, like they were made to do this together. 

-

“Are you sure it’s tonight?” Phil asked, he hugged his hoodie closer, as Dan practically dragged him to the pickup truck in Phil’s driveway. Dan rolled his eyes, throwing the blankets into the flatbed. 

“I promise. Now c’mon, I don’t want to miss it.” Dan threw the keys at Phil, who caught them with surprise. 

Today was the day Dan was supposed to throw the last party of sixth form. Everything was planned as well, Dan’s parents were out of town, again, Phil had helped spread the word, and they had a shit ton of food. But when Dan found out about the meteor shower happening, he dropped the party like a hot cake, and was dragging Phil out to the county at eleven p.m. 

They were relaxing on the couch, with Dan’s head in Phil’s lap. Dan was paying attention to the anime on the telly, but Phil had his eyes on the iPhone game, while the other hand played with the curly locks of the boy he loved, when Dan suddenly sprang up, remembering the exact reason he had cancelled his party that night, why they were at Phil’s house instead of Dan’s, and dragged Phil out the front door, leaving the warmth behind, and entering the bite of the cold outdoors, even though it was June 

Phil didn’t mind though. The only thing he cared about was the beautiful diamond that he had to hold in his arms tonight, because he finally collected all the pieces he had lost. It was nice to call Dan his after so long of a disconnection, he’d do anything for his Dan. And if that meant going out to sit in the middle of nowhere to see shooting stars that probably won’t be very visible, then he’d damn well do it. He’d do it just to see the little crinkles in Dan’s face when he smiled, the sparkle in his eyes when he’d finally see what he was looking for, or the way he’d get jumpy, and excited during times leading up to plans. It was Phil’s favorite. 

As Phil drove, he realized that he lived for these moments with Dan, he couldn’t imagine his life without Dan by his side anymore. All his future plans revolved around him,(but Dan didn’t know that) Dan was the actual reason of his existence. Just the thought of not waking up in the morning and not having his usual ‘good morning, love’ text from Dan made his face fall. 

Phil really didn’t know what he was missing out on during their two year gap. 

But all that mattered now, was that he was heading out to go watch the stars with his favorite person on the planet, and he couldn’t have been more happy to say that. 

//hello hi this is the end. I really tried w this one, but i didn’t like the end result as much as i hoped, sorry the quality went to shit after the first bit lol. tanks for reeading :) also the theme didnt really keep up but its whatever im sorryyyyyy

[parkerharts]

somebody S T O P me !! i’m back at it again, this time, for the first time ever with a 3rd character. that’s right, you heard me, third character !! who am ?!? who ?? well idk but i can tell you who this babe right here is, lemme introduce to you parker hart, bae extraordinaire.

tw; violence, tw; mentions of war, tw; ptsd, tw; mild alcoholism.

+ parker hart is a born & raised staten island native. he was the oldest child of bishop and alessa hart. his father was a cop while his mother taught kindergarten at a local school, and although they weren't well off parker never felt like he was missing anything growing up. when he started school.. that's when the trouble began, he was a bright child but lacked focus. he'd often finish his studies early and meander around the halls much to the chagrin of his teachers. sitting still, made parker anxious and that anxiousness led to frustration. he had a bit of a short fuse and without anything to channel his pent up energy on he would either get into fights or take part in delinquent behavior. it was hard to get parker to listen to anyone, but he had a soft spot for his family especially his younger sister.

+ when he got caught with alcohol at a school dance at the age of fifteen his father had finally had enough. he decided that parker needed some discipline in his life, and forced him to enroll in ROTC, so he'd learn what it meant to serve and have a regiment in his life. the deal was he was to spend two weeks in the program and he'd be left off with a warning. turned out parker loved it, the standardization of practice in ROTC was exactly what he needed to give his life some direction. by senior year of high school, he had decided he would enlist in the army.

+ his parents wanted him to be more than just a soldier, especially his mother who valued education. parker had some of the highest grades in his year and she felt that sort of intelligence shouldn't be squandered. he enlisted right out of high school and the army ended up paying for his university education and med school after. at the age of twenty-one he shipped out for his first tour in afghanistan serving as an army medic. he thought he was prepared to see the atrocities of war but nothing could have prepared him for what he encountered. although he was a relatively junior doctor, he was quick on his feet. there was one point where he'd been under gunfire and had performed a complicated procedure under duress saving five people in a unit that was doomed otherwise. 

+ however that kind of bravery came at a cost, although the ptsd wasn't severe when he came back, he'd still be up late with a bottle of whiskey haunted by the dreams of what he'd seen. however, he could never give up the thrill of being in combat or the rush he felt practicing medicine in the field, so he went back completing two more tours; one in iraq and one in sudan with the UN peacekeeping forces there as a liaison of the American military. he had finally decided to take some time off around the time the comet hit. his family and he were attending a family reunion in florida when the comet hit and he saw his entire childhood crumble before his very eyes.

+ when he was tapped by project icarus, he didn't hesitate to offer up his expertise. his cover was that he was an ex-army soldier retired after a brutal injury and now serving as a doctor at mount sinai hospital. and it suited him well, considering it wasn't far from the truth. things were pretty crystal clear till his sister decided to sign up too. he's fiercely protective of her and doesn't want to see her in harm's way like that. 

 + personality wise, parker is charismatic to a tee, which helps him connect with people as well as patients. he wears his heart on his sleeve and is not good at keeping his emotions underneath the surface. he's blunt, brash, and often says things without thinking them through. he's still got that temper and if you incite it he will retaliate. he may be a doctor but he’s also a trained soldier and he knows how to hold his own in a fight, even against prometheans. he's fiercely loyal to people he considers friends and would do anything for them.

+ romantically he's never really connected with anyone before. the relationships he's had were short lived because the women he dated felt as though they played second fiddle to his career. now he doesn't bother with the messiness of it all and prefers to just indulge in short lived flings whenever he does feel the need for companionship.

character parallels; jake peralta, owen hunt, danny castellano, jake riley lbr