#if he’s done done with his dick of a bf I may be fine talking to him again

[sapchat]

I Have to Clean What?

Kyle Garrick x GN Reader No use of Y/N

This goes hand in hand with my ‘A Fucking Rat’ story I did for GPD’s May CoD writing challenge which you can read here!

Here’s Kyle learning to pet sit your horse! (Kyle would end up with someone who owns/leases a horse, he just screams horse bf/gf partner. Side note, you only actually have to clean these every 6-12 months and only when absolutely necessary.

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick x GN Reader     Fluff

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: I’m American so I use ‘thousand’ instead of… England terms. We talk about horse dick.

“Okay so it’s pretty basic, I mean you don’t really have to ride him, you can lunge him if you want. You’ve done both, granted I was here for it each time. It’s the same concept as then. But if you don’t ride him any, I’d at least lunge him, give him a quick wipe down like I’ve shown you then turn him loose in his paddock for a few hours.” You start telling him as you’re giving your horse Charley a thorough brush down. Kyle’s off to the side watching observantly as you do so, watching everything you do, as if he hasn’t watched you do this every time he joins you.

“Okay how about food? And what happens if he gets sick or anything and like… pukes?” He’s nervous as if he’s being left alone for the first time babysitting a child. It brings some enjoyment for if your relationship continues for future kids.

You give a small laugh, “Kyle, like I told you earlier, his feed schedule and info is on the little chart by his door, also if you think he’s sick, just call the vet. And if he pukes, then it’s… I don’t know what it would be, but horses can’t physically puke. So, if he somehow does, emphasis on call the vet. Granted Charley is also a dumbass and sometimes inhales his water and then coughs it up… so if he was drinking and then you think he puked, he’s likely fine.” You inform him, trying to ease his worries.

Kyle nods, and honestly you think if he had the choice of a note pad, he’d be taking notes. Like the good noodle he is. Such a good soldier. Charley, annoyed at the fact the attention has left him and turns to clack his teeth at the closest thing he can reach, that currently being Kyle.

The man makes a small noise at the thousand-pound animal and reaches a hand out to toy with his lips flickering at him. “Hey pal…” he mumbles playing with it, Charley’s head moving to bob up and down. “You get to be stuck with dad whilst mom leaves the country….” He tells him, as if he even knows what’s being said.

“You know if you don’t want to do this, or are… anxious to do this, I can just have one of the girls check in and take care of him…” You tell him, letting him know there’s nothing wrong with him waiting to take this step.

Kyle vehemently shakes his head, “No! It’s fine, it’ll give me something to do, plus give me time to bond with him. Besides, feel like this is the next step! Keep your pet alive and then we can… I don’t know start doing more things together with him.”

“Kyle dearie, you know you don’t have to take care of my horse for me for us to spend time together, you know that right?”

“Well, yeah… and I do spend time with you when you’re here already, but if I learn to do this, we can look about leasing my own horse, maybe even buying one… and then can spend even more time together.”

My god this man… the minute I’m able I’m sucking his dick.

“Figure helping here will let me get kinda an idea of what to expect.”

Dick is getting sucked.

“Kyle, you don’t have to do this to get a lease horse, or even buy one… And if that’s what you want to do, I’m happy to help, but if you think this is what it takes, then I guess I’m happy to help.” You tell him, it’s sweet he’s taking the time to do this to spend even more time with you.

In past relationships they’ve gotten pissy about the time you spend with your horse. Maybe it’s because he himself if gone for a few days to months at a time, so he knows what it’s like to be passionate about something.

“Okay, so feeding schedule is on his door, ride or lunge him, and I already know where his tack is in the room area place-“

“Tack room, but yes to everything so far.”

“After riding or lunging, give him a wipe down, I’ll make sure he’s cool before turning him into his little paddock area. Should I leave the back door to his stable open so he can come and go, or should I put him up before I head out?” Kyle continues, after your interruption and runs through the process, and then asks the question.

You sit for a second looking at Charley in the cross ties, “Uhh… check the weather. If it’s going to rain, or the temperature drops low put him up, the stables is heated but… there’s no brain cells in this massive head of his and he will sit outside in the rain or cold.” You inform, moving up to his head and giving his forehead some scritches as he chews on my shirt.

Kyle nods, “Gotcha, and his blanket if needed is also in the tack room?”

You smile at him, then walk over to Kyle, “He won’t need the blanket, it won’t be that cold, plus he still has some winter fur. Trust me, you’re thinking this is going to be the hardest thing ever, but he’s essentially a thousand puppy. He’ll he even plays chase. Don’t engage though he will win.”

Kyle gives a small laugh at that, moving to wrap his arms around you, “Any other way he can kill me?”

You blow a breath of air as you think, “Uh… hmm… you know how he likes nibbling on clothes? Well, his previous owner did warn that with men, he does like going straight for the crown jewels…”

Kyle sits for a second, as if taking that in. Tongue against his cheek as he kisses his teeth. “Okay… I’m going to find my old cup… And just never let his head be dick level.”

This causes a chuckle to be pulled out of you, “Yeah, the guy I bought him from was like ‘Urgh, by the way, he bites dicks.’ And I was like ‘well convenient for me, I’m not dating anyone!’ then turned out and ended up in a relationship.”

Kyle just gives his head a shake, “Okay anything else I need to do?”

You turn, placing your back to Kyle’s back as you lean into his arms, looking Charley over, then you see it. The… thing hanging from your horse as he sits relaxed in the crossties. “Uh… Can you bathe him for me at some point for me? Like a full body shampoo and hair wash, and don’t forget to like squeegee him off too?”

“Yeah, that’s an easy request. Does he have a skin care routine like me?” He asks, knowing you make fund of him for how good his skin looks.

You give a small snort especially because you know what you’re about to ask next will be fun. “Can you also clean his sheath? It’s due for a clean.” Your head tilts to look back at him for a second as you ask this, to see his reaction.

A confused look crosses his face, “His sheath?” He gives Charley a quick once over, trying to figure out what it may be.

You just nod, “His sheath. And he’ll know what’s happening when you take a wet rag to it and like… drop out.”

Kyle’s brain still seems to be making the connection, “Drop… out…?”

“Yeah. And the stuff for it is in the caddy that’s in my locker, and you’ll just get the rag super wet, and do a thorough cleaning.” You tell him, giving him a small motion with my hands to almost demonstrate the motion.

“Love… are you talking about his… um…” His head tilts almost as if he’s trying to figure out that’s what you are actually talking about.

“Yeah, I’m talking about his dick.”

“You’re asking me to clean his dick?”

“I’m asking if you would, I mean I can just do it when I get back, I guess.”

He gives a blink as an answer, still processing, “You have to clean their dicks?”

“You have to clean your dick.” You tell him, turning your head fully to look at him. Seeing the look on his face change from confusion to you don’t even know how to describe it.

“What about female horses? Do you have to clean their… areas?”

“No. Actually human women aren’t really supposed to, can introduce unhealthy bacteria. You knew that right? It’s important to me that you knew that already.”

“I… you… I have to clean what?” Kyle fully stops out, still seeming to try and connect the dots, even though he knows what it is you’re asking.

“Yes, dear I’m asking if you’ll clean his dick.” You finally turn to face him as you say it, ignoring whatever it is Charley is doing in the cross ties behind you. You place your hands on his chest, almost in an appeasing way, “It takes like… five minutes, it drops out of the sheath, you get the rag wet, throw some soap on it, lather it up then run the rag just… up and down him.”

“I’m starting to regret agreeing to pet sitting.”

I gave the horse such a backstory that it didn't need, not a specific breed, nor color, he's a gelding (no balls), his name is Charley, and his show name (the name he is registered under for showing) is Give a Charley Horse.

I'll eventually also do one for Johnny and John! :)

[helloalycia]

teenage dirtbag [four] // wanda maximoff

summary: Things finally explode between you and Nate, and Pietro decides to get to the bottom of whatever is going on between you and Wanda, though in usual Pietro fashion AKA not subtly at all

warning/s: none.

author's note: this is very beefy, i must admit, but i think you'll all enjoy the outcome 😂💘

part one | part two | part three | part five | masterlist | wattpad

Dinner with the Maximoffs wasn't as strange as I envisioned. Her parents were sweet and the twins did their best to make me feel comfortable. Wanda still seemed mildly frustrated whenever Pietro and I would talk though, and I figured she may have thought I was lying when I told her I didn't like him like that. I hoped that wasn't the case.

After dinner, Wanda took me upstairs to show me her bedroom. I'm not sure how to describe it other than it seemed so Wanda.

"I'm guessing red is your favourite colour," I said when I saw the hints of scarlet in her bedroom. On her walls, in her bedding, on her pillows. Just like her car and her jacket, they were all bright and very her.

"Great observation, Sherlock," she teased with a sly smile.

I returned the smile, sticking my tongue out at her playfully, before having a walk around and coming across her massive CD collection and CD player. Her music taste was actually quite similar to mine, which I definitely didn't expect. It just made her ten times more attractive to me which wasn't good, but oh well. I was here for a good time, not a long time. And my crush on Wanda Maximoff would surely be the death of me.

"D'you have any CDs at all?" she asked, joining my side when she noticed me staring at the shelf.

I crossed my arms, glancing at her. "Don't get me wrong. I'd love to collect them, but it's just so much easier to have Spotify, y'know?"

My intention wasn't to make her laugh, but God I was glad I did when her eyes crinkled and the sound rang around the room, making my heart pinch with adoration.

After giving me some of her pyjamas, the two of us got ready and brushed our teeth before I realised she wanted me to share bed with her.

"You wanna watch some TV before bed?" she asked, clearly not registering my hesitance to slide into her Queen-sized bed.

I swallowed hard. "S-sure."

She turned on the TV at the end of her bed as I slipped in beside her, still a bit rigid as I kept a fair distance from her.

"What you feeling? Comedy? Drama? Horror?"

"Anything is fine with me," I said, still tense.

She hummed in acknowledgement before leaning down on her pile of pillows behind her, edging closer to me. My heart was hammering in my chest as her hair tickled my arm from where she was laying.

"You comfortable?" she checked in, leaning backwards so her head was upside down to see me. "I have more pillows if you need them."

I offered her a small smile, hoping it disguised my nerves. "I'm good."

She nodded before flicking through the channels and eventually settling on reruns of The Office. It took time, but I eventually overcame my initial shock of sharing bed with the girl I had a major crush on and instead relaxed, getting comfortable under the covers.

After watching some TV, we called it a night and fell asleep quite quickly, the day taking its toll on us. For once, I wasn't panicking about doing something stupid. I simply fell asleep, trying to ignore the heat she emanated from beside me.

It was a peaceful night – her bed was super comfortable – and I woke up to the sound of Wanda moving about in her bedroom.

"Shoot, I'm sorry, did I wake you?" she asked when she saw me moving about under the blankets. I tried to blink away the sleep as she continued, "I was gonna wake you soon. School starts in an hour."

I rubbed my eyes, yawning, before sitting up and seeing she was practically already dressed. That meant she would have been up for a while, meaning she would have seen me fast asleep. God, I hated when people saw me sleeping. It always felt so weird.

"It's okay," I got out tiredly, before running a hand through my hair.

"You sleep well?" she asked, spinning around in her chair, her makeup half done. "I tried my very best not to use you as a teddy bear."

She was joking, but I felt my neck grow warm at the thought and damn, it was just way too early to be flustered.

"Yeah, I slept great," I settled, feeling her gaze on me. "Thanks again for having me over."

"Anytime," she said, and something told me it wasn't just a friendly response but that she actually meant it. Maybe it was the kind smile on her lips as she said so. "Just like last night, if you wanna use anything in the bathroom, go for it."

I gave her a thumbs up, taking a moment to wake myself up a little more, before heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I returned to Wanda's room, I saw she'd already made the bed and had laid my clothes on top of it.

"I've got a shirt you can borrow," she said when I grabbed my jeans.

"Oh, I can just wear the same thing again, it's no biggie," I told her, already grabbing my shirt.

She pouted before grabbing a shirt from her closet. "Just hold on. You'll love it."

In no time, she came out from her closet and held out a Paramore tee shirt on a hanger towards me.

"I got it from the last concert I went to," she explained. "I thought you'd like it."

I couldn't help but smile at the thought. "Wow, Wanda. Really? You don't mind?"

She nodded, shaking the shirt as emphasis for me to take it. I did, having a look over it and smiling to myself.

"I'll wash it and give it back to you tomorrow," I promised, taking it off the hanger and holding it with my jeans. "Thanks."

"You can keep it," she said, scratching the back of her head apprehensively. "I've got loads."

"Oh, no, I can't do that," I began to deny, but she shook her head.

"It's fine, I'm giving it to you," she said, before smiling sweetly. "I'm sure you'll look better in it anyway."

Again with the warmth spreading up my neck...

"I doubt that," I quipped with a small smile.

"Go! Go get changed," she said, already pushing me towards the door. "I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast."

I snickered, letting her shove me into the hallway, before heading into the bathroom to get ready. The shirt was oversized, so there was no need to be worried it wouldn't fit. It was actually really nice, plus I liked it that extra bit more knowing Wanda gave it to me. Though I knew I wouldn't keep it. It was hers and she was just being nice.

When I finished making myself look presentable, I headed downstairs and found the twins at the kitchen counter, chatting between themselves. Their chatter ceased when I walked in, with Wanda biting her lip and looking me up and down with satisfaction.

"I was right," was all she said, making me nervous. "You do look better in it than me."

—

The day after that, I did as I said I would and returned Wanda's shirt to her, washed, folded and ironed. Knowing she wouldn't accept it without a fight, I left it in her bag when she wasn't looking during class.

I should have expected her to approach me at my locker afterwards.

"It was supposed to be a gift," she said, and I saw her pretty face reflected in the mirror hung inside my locker.

I turned around, already knowing what she was talking about.

"I told you I couldn't accept," I said politely, giving her a small smile. "I appreciate it though." She seemed disappointed which obviously didn't help with my feelings for her, so I took a leap and added, "Maybe I can get my own at their next concert. In the summer, right?"

She picked up on what I meant and smiled, stifling a laugh. Running a hand through her hair, she met my gaze and I found myself frozen in place as always, unable to look away. I wondered if she knew what she was doing when she did that, knew that she was giving me heart palpitations every time her lips turned into a playful smirk and dark eyes studied me curiously.

My eyes drifted to her lips subconsciously and she must have put on some lip balm or something, prior to finding me just now, as they looked shiny and pink and just so damn kissable. Nate was one lucky guy.

—

Having faced issues with Nate three times now (AKA the three times he happened to launch a football at my head), I'd figured I wouldn't be seeing the last of him. He was a dick, meaning he had a natural inclination to piss people off, particularly me. But I never thought he'd go for Y/BF/N.

We were chilling by our lockers, chatting about his film project, when his books suddenly got knocked out of his hands and he was shoved against the lockers. I straightened up when I saw it was Nate, looking pissed off as he had Y/BF/N's shirt bundled in his fist.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I shouted, trying to shove him off, but he merely pushed me back.

"This isn't your business," he said to me before glaring at Y/BF/N, who was quiet with panic. "You. You've been hanging around my girlfriend and I don't like it."

The colour drained from Y/BF/N's face as Nate slammed his hand to the lockers beside his head, startling him.

"I want you to stay the fuck away from Wanda!" he ordered, and students were starting to pick up on the fight that was clearly about to break out. "You fucking hear me, you nerd? Stay the fuck away!"

Poor Y/BF/N nodded his head, eyes avoiding Nate's. Meanwhile, I was angrier than Nate probably was. Y/BF/N had done nothing wrong. Maybe Nate had just seen Wanda hanging with me and because Y/BF/N was always with me, assumed the worst. Either way, this was no way to handle the situation and I was not gonna let this dick threaten my friend.

"Get the fuck away from him, Nate," I said through gritted teeth, glaring a hole into the side of his head.

Nate barely glanced my way. "I told you this isn't your business, honey."

"Five seconds," I said, standing behind him as a crowd began to form. "You've got five seconds or I'm gonna kick you."

He seemed to ignore me as he tightened his grip on Y/BF/N's shirt, only pissing me off more.

"Five," I began to count down, the grip on my books tightening with nerves and anger. "Four."

He still didn't look my way, just kept slapping Y/BF/N's face to scare him.

"Three, two, one," I said quickly, tired of giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Without waiting anymore, I kicked him between the legs with full force, watching as he instantly let go of Y/BF/N and doubled over. Everybody began to laugh, some making 'ooh' noises, but the consensus was clear – it definitely sucked to be Nate right now.

I tried not to laugh as I watched his face scrunch with pain, turning red. I was starting to appreciate my choice of wearing my doc marten boots today.

"No more balls for the guy who keeps throwing them at my fucking head," I got out, jaw clenching.

He looked up, his face crossing with realisation as he recognised me. In response, he glared in my direction, but it didn't faze me.

"Come on, Y/BF/N," I said, looking to my startled friend. "Let's go."

"What on Earth is going on over here?!" a teacher's voice rang out in the distance, and I groaned internally.

When I turned to leave, I heard Nate from behind me, grunting with dissatisfaction.

"Fuckin' dyke," he mumbled under his breath, and I paused, clenching my fists.

"Y/N, don't–" Y/BF/N tried to stop me, but I was too pissed to care.

I spun around and punched Nate square in the face, feeling good as his smirking face scrunched in pain and his back hit the lockers from the impact.

"Woah!" a teacher came out of nowhere, shoving herself between us and pushing me away from him. "What the hell is going on here?!"

I shook my hand to ease the pain on my knuckles, though the pain couldn't stop the grin on my lips as Nate raised his hands to his face, holding his busted nose. Students were going crazy, egged on by the potential fight, and for once, I didn't mind the attention. Nate had that coming for a while now.

"Everybody back to class! Now!" the teacher yelled, glaring all around her, before her eyes settled on Nate and I. "You two. Nurse's office now."

Nate glared at me behind his bloody nose and, once again, I tried not to laugh. Y/BF/N patted my back, amazement written on his face, before letting me leave with the teacher and an unusually silent Nate.

—

Kicking Nate in the groin and punching him in the face wasn't something I did to get attention, yet that's exactly what happened. Word of the incident spread around the school quite quickly, so much in fact that even students from other grades became aware of the situation and were approaching me to tell me how awesome I was. The whole thing was definitely strange, but I could tolerate it.

What I couldn't tolerate was having Chemistry after lunch and wondering if Wanda knew.

Would she hate me for punching her boyfriend? I wasn't sure. I just knew that when she walked into class and sat next to me, I felt everyone's eyes subtly watching us as if waiting for her to explode at me.

I'd been given an ice pack for my bruised hand after my visit to the nurse's office earlier whilst Nate had been treated for his broken nose (the fact that I'd broken it was hilarious to me, since I knew I wasn't even that strong). The principal had a very angry yell at us both in his office, neither of us willing to reveal the premise of our fight, before giving us detention every day after school for two weeks straight as punishment. Of course, Nate got his two weeks at a different time to mine for fear I'd punch him again (he definitely didn't like that, but he couldn't exactly say that to to principal).

I didn't bother using the ice pack in Chemistry for fear Wanda may ask what was up. I successfully managed to hide my hand and as a second surprise of the day, Wanda mentioned nothing about the incident. Not one thing about her boyfriend, about Y/BF/N, about any of it. I thought she might hint at it, trying to get me to bring it up. But she didn't which made me think she actually had no idea it even happened. Had anyone told her? Had he told her? Nah, probably not. His fragile masculinity probably caused him to change the story to something else so he didn't look like a wimp in front of his girlfriend.

Whatever it was, I was safe for now.

Thinking I'd got away with a confrontation from Wanda, I went about the rest of my day as usual. Well, that was until I was replacing some books in my locker at the end of the day and saw Wanda at her locker behind me, arguing with– yep, you guessed it. Nate.

Y/BF/N was collecting some books from his own locker beside me and we both exchanged looks as we saw the two lovebirds in a heated argument. Just when we were about to leave, someone cleared their throat from behind us, making us turn around.

Wanda was stood there, backpack hanging from her shoulder, beside Nate, who looked like he would rather be anywhere else but here.

"Hi," he started quietly, making Wanda clear her throat. He glanced at her before looking to Y/BF/N. "Look, man, I'm really sorry about earlier. I was wrong about what I said. We cool?"

I tried not to laugh at the way Nate was being forced to apologise by his girlfriend. Y/BF/N glanced to me with questioning eyes, so I simply shrugged.

"I guess...," he finally answered Nate, still a little awkward.

Nate nodded before looking to me. He still had his reservations, judging from the twitch in his expression, but for Wanda's sake, he kept his cool.

"I'm sorry for treating you badly," he said reluctantly. "With the football and just generally."

God, it was so hard not to laugh in his face right now. His nose had gauze taped to it and it made him look like an idiot. I fake coughed to disguise my smile, before meeting his gaze.

"It's, er, cool," I said, not in the mood to be an arsehole to him, even though he deserved it. I'd punched him – I think we were equal for now.

He nodded, before staying quiet. Glancing to Wanda, he waited for her to say something. She rolled her eyes and nodded for him to leave. When he was gone, she sighed tiredly.

"I only heard about what happened after Chem class," she said, mainly to me, a guilty expression on her lips. "I'm so sorry he acted like a jerk."

I chewed my lip, unsure what to say.

"It's okay, Y/N here took care of it," Y/BF/N said, smiling with amusement at me. Okay, well now she definitely knew.

"Yeah, sorry you felt you had to do that," she said with a grimace. "I guess he deserved it though."

"Kind of," I agreed, before noticing the regretful frown on her lips. "He apologised though. It's already happened. I kinda broke his nose... No point in dwelling on it."

She smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah..." Her eyes fell to my bruised hand before lifting it gently. I winced at the ache, but let her hold it, studying the purple bruise painted across my knuckles. "That looks bad."

It felt good punching him though, but I wasn't about to say that since it was her boyfriend I was talking about.

"It's alright," I said dismissively, shrugging. "Nate kind of got it worse. I'll live."

The pad of her thumb stroked the bruise gently and I held my breath, the feeling of her hands holding mine sending shivers up my arm. Her eyes flickered to mine, softened with guilt, before she let go of my hand.

"I should head home," she said after a pause. "I'll see you both tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow," Y/BF/N said for both of us, sensing my loss of words.

Wanda held my gaze once more, eyes half lidded as they glanced down. Before I could even question what she was looking at, she waved goodbye and left.

"She's either starting to realise what a dick her boyfriend is or she's just really into you," Y/BF/N said, patting me on the back. "Maybe both, who knows?"

—

"You definitely cheated," I told Y/BF/N once we finished yet another round of air hockey. "Nobody wins six times in a row like that!"

He laughed at my expression. "Tell me, dear Y/N. How would I cheat? The concept of the game is simple, really. It's not my fault you're terrible."

I rolled my eyes lightheartedly. "Seventh time's the charm. C'mon."

He chuckled, about to put more money in the machine, before his eyes got distracted by something behind me. "Well, would you look at that. The Maximoff twins are here."

"Very funny," I said with a knowing look. "You can't throw me off like that. We've established I'm already terrible. Now c'mon. Let's go!"

"I wish I was joking," he said, shaking his head.

I scoffed, not believing him, and turned around to prove him wrong, but I was surprised when I saw Wanda and Pietro walking into the arcade we were in. They seemed to spot us instantly, waving in our direction before approaching us.

"Fancy seeing you here," Pietro teased with a smile as they stopped before us.

I cracked a smile as Y/BF/N joined my side. "We're hanging out. And you?"

Wrapping an arm around his sister's shoulder, he tugged Wanda close to him. "Sibling bonding time."

Wanda rolled her eyes at his childishness, but I could tell she found it endearing all the same.

"Well, if you want, you can hang with us," Y/BF/N offered, and we all looked to him, myself raising a brow his way. He seemed to sense my reluctance, it egging him on as he grinned at them. "Y/N doesn't mind. Do you, Y/N?"

I swallowed hard as I looked between the twins. "'Course not."

And that's how I found myself playing arcade games with the Maximoff twins that Saturday afternoon. It was actually pretty fun, with Pietro being as competitive as I was and Wanda being the sweetest loser with everything she played. It was so adorable, but I ended up letting her win some games of skee-ball just so I could see that cute nose scrunch of hers as she realised she'd won.

"You gonna let me win like that, too?" Pietro caught on as he took his sister's place in playing against me. He had a mischievous grin on his lips and I felt my mouth go dry at what he was implying.

"You wish," I said, playing it cool, though I wondered if he cared that I clearly let Wanda win. He wouldn't read into it, right?

Pietro took his go as he spoke. "So, I heard what happened with you and Nate at school last week."

I closed my eyes, cringing at the reminder. Pietro merely laughed.

"You kicked him super hard, right?" he asked excitedly. "I heard his face went so red with anger that you could fry an egg on it! And don't forget that punch, goddamn what I would pay to have seen that!"

"Pietro!" Wanda scolded from behind us as her and Y/BF/N played air hockey. "Don't be a tool!"

I felt my face heat up with embarrassment as Pietro continued to laugh. Y/BF/N joined in whilst Wanda tried to hide the smile dancing on her lips.

"You're not even together anymore," Pietro called to Wanda between laughter. Wait, did I hear that right?

"You and Nate broke up?" Y/BF/N asked with disbelief. "Our grade's 'it' couple broke up?"

Wanda ran a hand through her hair to distract from her flittering eyes. "He treated you horribly last week. Both of you." She glanced my way before looking at her shoes. "He was a jerk. It was long overdue... Also, I would have broken up with him there and then had I known what he'd said to you. I'm sorry he said what he did."

She stared at me with apologetic eyes and I wasn't sure what to say or do other than nod awkwardly and look away. The fact that she'd broken up with him put a smile on my face though.

"I just think it's awesome," Pietro admitted, before saluting playfully to me. "Thank you for your service. I knew you were awesome, but this is a whole new level."

I sighed, attempting to hide my smile, before straightening up to play. Pietro and I played some skee-ball before I decided to have a go at the claw machine. Wanda was at the one beside me, attempting to win herself a fluffy black cat plush toy. She'd had three goes before giving up, admitting to defeat.

"Typical Wanda," Pietro teased. "Giving up when the going gets tough."

She punched him in the arm, making him jump and rub it. That elicited a smile from her, making me laugh at their immaturity.

"How about Wanda and I go and get a table in the diner next door whilst you finish up winning whatever it is you're trying to win?" Y/BF/N asked, looking to me, as if assigning blame.

"I already told you, I'm not leaving this machine until I win at least one thing," I stated stubbornly.

"The amount of money you've put into the machine won't make up for whatever you win," Y/BF/N teased with amusement.

"Just go," I said, waving my hand dismissively. "I'll be there soon."

"I'll wait with her," Pietro said, resting a hand on my shoulder, making me shrug him off jokingly. "See you soon," he added with a laugh, to his sister and Y/BF/N.

When they left, I looked to Pietro with an amused smile. "I don't need you to look after me, y'know."

He shrugged and looked through the glass of the claw machine. "I know. But I stayed to give you some advice, princess."

"Oh, really? And what advice is that?" I asked, before putting some coins in the machine to have another go.

"People usually tend to win these things for people they like, right?" he asked, nodding to the plush toys in the machine.

"Or for themselves," I corrected with a curious smile. "Take Wanda for example. How badly did she want that cat?"

He crossed his arms, smiling with amusement. "You could win it for her, y'know."

"What?" I asked, half paying attention as I attempted to grab a teddy bear.

"Win the cat for my sister and give it to her?"

I ended up dropping the teddy from the claw as I looked to Pietro with shock. He laughed at my expression, leaning against the machine.

"You do like her, right? Otherwise this is awkward," he added as an afterthought, looking down and smiling to himself.

My jaw hung open. "I– er– I never really– I don't–"

"She must definitely like you," Pietro noted, glancing at me.

I licked my lips as I found my words. "Did she," I cleared my throat, "did she say something?"

"Well, no," he said, "but she looks like she wants to murder me every time I hang out with you."

"That's just a coincidence," I said, shaking my head and looking back to the machine. "She's not–" I thought about, before shaking my head again. "No."

I appreciated Pietro's help, but Wanda definitely didn't like me like that. She was just protective of her brother and friendly to me. It didn't mean anything.

"Look, you don't have to listen to me," he said, straightening up and looking at the machine as I slotted another coin in. "But you could give it a shot. See what happens."

I glanced at him, his blue eyes watching me knowingly, a matching smirk on his lips.

"Fine," I gave in, hoping it wouldn't backfire. "Let's see what happens..."

[sometimes-i-write-4-you]

sea scare - JJ X Reader

a\n: have’nt done this whole writing thing in a while but i tried lol. loosly based off of my first date with my current bf, we’ve been dating for a little bit over a year now :)

TW: slight mentioning of weed and underage drinking

I was always in love with JJ. I think. Ever since I first laid eyes on him when we were kids. Back then I thought I was just looking for a friend, and who will be a better friend to me then the blonde kid who wears a different dinosaur shirt each day?

He had a green one with a T-rex in a tea cup that said “Tea-rex”, a red one with a “stage-osaurus” performing with a microphone and many more I barely remember. I had a dinosaur faze myself, so we was a perfect fit.

As we grew up, we grew out of the dino obsession, but we never grew apart. Now, when we are 16, I see that adoring a kid the way I adored him doesn’t mean he is my favorite friend, it means I like him as more than a friend. Thinking of the devil, my phone rang, and as it was “super-lit” by Gnash, I knew who it was without even looking. “Hey there Maybank” I answered the phone, “What have I done to win a call?” I add sarcastically. After what happened to JB, I barley heard from him. I wanted to be there for him, but he didn’t cooperated too well. “Hey there, (y\l\n)” he said. “I’m so sorry i drifted away, but I’m ready to talk about him now. I miss my girl” he said, so softly it almost didn’t sound like him. “Sure, yeah, wanna meet up?” I replied, and he agreed. “The beach, 10 minutes?” he offered. “The beach, an hour” I corrected him. As if I can change and get to the beach in 10 minutes. Did he forgot where I live?

JJ was already there, sitting on a towel next to a cooler. He saw me getting closer and moved the cooler, leaning on it to get up himself. His shirt was off and his hair seemed a bit damp. He already took a swim, the impatient little bitch. He pulled me into a hug, making me slightly damp. He just got out of the sea, it’s water.

“Hey” he laughed. Gosh, his laugh is even cuter than I remembered. He smiled at me, relived to see I actually came. “I was starting to think you won’t come” he admitted what I already knew. “And miss a chance to hear you say you were wrong? Never” I reply as I sit down next to him. “So, we’re diving straight to this, ha?” he said. “Well, you already dived into the water” I answered, and he mumbles the word “smartass”, but when I asked, he denies ever calling me that.

It’s been about ten minutes since.

“I wanted to be there for you” I finally break the silence, “and you wouldn’t let me. Do you know how insulting that is? To feel like your favorite person doesn’t want you around? Like what, was I not good enough?”

I didn’t mean to be harsh, but the way his smile turned upside down made me feel like maybe I was. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that, I would never do anything to hurt you, and that’s why I gave you space. I felt like maybe I would be a burden, you know? And I’d hate to stall you. I was stuck, still am, on finding my best friend” he said. “JJ, I hate to say it, but your best friend is-“

“Alive” JJ cuts me off, and pulls out his phone to show me a text exchange on his phone. JB is live. “Look, (y\n), I may not have lost my best friend JB that day, but I did lose another one. I lost you, and I regret that. I was a dick, but if there’s something I learned the past year is that having an awesome one doesn’t mean you need to be one” the blond guy says. “Did you really just-“

“Yes, it was funnier in my head” he admits, but I laugh anyway. “Okay, JJ, fine” I say, “I’ll be your friend again”. His smile gets wider, but shrinks again when I add my next sentence: “on one term. I want the hoodie”

“The hoodie? You mean the hoodie?” he asks, and I nod. He pulls two beers out of the cooler and opens them as I laugh maliciously. “I- fine” he gives up. It was actually sweet. I’m more important to him then the hoodie he lets every girlfriend and or hookup borrow when they spend the night. I always wanted hat hoodie, it’s very soft and always feels safe. I got to borrow once, but it was because I was cold and he happened to have I with him. People got the wrong idea that night, but I enjoyed it.

We talked for a while, catching up over beer and a joint, until he offers to go for a swim. “no” I say. See, I agreed to go to the beach, ever wore a swimsuit but I am very, very scared of the sea. I never go to deep, and for years JJ has been trying to convince me to swim with him, but I refused every single time. I assumed this was the reason he went in before I arrived, but no, that swim was not enough for my little water boy. I mean, not that I ever really think of him as mine, or as a water boy, I mean-

God, my brain is just embarrassing. Thank god he can’t read minds. “I know what you’re thinking” JJ says as he blows out some smoke and hands the joint over, and I look at him slightly scared. Can he read minds? “You’re thinking, Damm, JJ is so hot, I want to hold him very tight, as we go deep, deep… into the sea” he says. He almost got me the first half.

“no” I say, “never. We’ve been over this” I insist as per usual, putting the joint between my lips to take a hit, “you go, I’ll wait here” I say as I let out the smoke. He looks at me, waiting for something. But for what, I wonder, and take the last puff. I put out the joint, and I can feel it dropping from between my fingers as I’m being picked up by the blond monster.

He picks me up bridal style, and run straight into the water as I scream. People are looking, I assume, but he doesn’t care. “No, JJ, no!” i scream, but there’s no use. We’re in. like, really in. I cling onto him as much as I can, blushing hard.

“Are you completely sun burnet or are you blushing?” he asks as I attempt to look away, but I can’t. Makes me too stressed. He holds me tighter. “Just... Gosh, (y\n), wrap your legs around me” he asks. “What?” I look at him, confused. “You’ll be more comfortable” he explains, and so I do that. His arms are now wrapped around my waist, and I want to look away, I really do, but the sight of his blue eyes makes me a lot more calm then the blue sea around us. “It is better” I admit, and suddenly his lips smash onto mine. My hands move on their own to cup his cheeks and pull him closer.

“Fucking finally” he whispers as he pulls away to breath. “Huh?” I say, confused. “I always wanted to kiss you” he admits, “and I always felt like maybe you won’t be like-“ he pulls me closer with one arm to use the other one for a slamming-a-court-hammer mime moment, “-objection!” he says, slightly acting out the line then quickly puts his second arm back around me. “I just, I was always scared I might ruin our relationship, but now that I thought it was ruined and I fixed it I realized – if you’ll forgive me for being a dick, you’ll forgive me for giving you the best kiss you’ll ever have” he adds. “You’re cocky” I say, “having a cock, doesn’t mean-“

“I thought we agreed it wasn’t funny” he cuts me off, “actually say that again, I have a better way to cut you off now”. “Having a cock, doesn’t mean-“ I say, and once again his lips are on mine. Maybe I would’ve gotten the hoodie either way. I should think of a new term.

[threecrowsinatrenchcoat]

Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

- 

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence. 

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

-

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

- 

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos. 

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.” 

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him. 

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment. 

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table.  He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop. 

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock. 

-

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

-

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really. 

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in. 

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit. 

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill. 

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom. 

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s 

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT”  /end ID]

-

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin. 

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left. 

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

-

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

-

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how 

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left. 

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand. 

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

- 

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID] 

[howtosingit]

I haven't had a chance to fully dive into all the goodies last nights video has produced.. nor have I had a chance to read all your thoughts which you know I crave love . I was dumb and watched 3 911 episodes last night ignoring my ig notification that ronen had shared anything so then I had to go to bed bc of work and work has been crqzy. But anyways I just wanted to hear some of your thoughts and say Tarlos officially fried my brain and I really want to write in the spare time I don't have bc of work 🙈🙊 their soft smiles, kisses, possibly meeting the fam, their date (and let's be honest Carlos was hot as fuck sauntering up to the bar announcing he was tks boyfriend... you know someone got laid that night) sorry not sorry 🙈

Anyways hit me with your thoughts when you're free if you want ❤

LISTEN, LAUREN. I am always up to share my thoughts because they never end and they just keep coming and I have to unleash them somehow or I will definitely explode.

My brain was just like, ALL CAPS SCREAMING, for about 7 hours yesterday, so I’ll leave you to explore that hot mess on my blog if you want. 😅 But, in the time since, I’ve seen a lot of discourse and stuff about the moments that we’ve seen, so I’m going to use this ask as an opportunity to weigh in on everything under the cut...

FIRST, CAN I JUST SAY that at the moment that I am writing this post, we are still trending at #5 and we’ve been in the 4-7 range for at least the past, like, IDK, 18-20 hours maybe?! I LOVE THIS FANDOM AND HOW WE LOSE OUR SHIT AT THE SMALLEST THINGS

Okay, so let me go through this thing and comment on the parts, and then give some general thoughts below:

LOVE that this is a promo entirely about the LGBTQIA+ characters and characters of color. Not exactly surprised that they still tried to put as much Rob Lowe in it as possible (that’s Fox/the writers’ M.O. it seems - to squeeze Rob/Owen in whether he fits or not). Some of his comments were a little awkward, I thought (referring to Paul’s trans storyline as “stuff” makes me go 😬), but whatever. He’s not the point of all of this, so that’s the last I’m going to talk about him.

TOMMY VEGA. I AM READY TO STAN. I love Gina Torres, I already love how much heart and soul she is giving just in these quick peeks, I cannot wait to see her in action!

Also let me use this moment to say that while it’s obvious I’m not getting my Grace + Carlos friendship (that’s fine if it stays in fandom, I’ll live), I’m SO GLAD that her and Tommy are gonna be friends! One promo mentioned that Judd has known Tommy before, so it would not surprise me if they’ve been friends for awhile. LOVE THAT.

SPECULATION: This gives me a good time to just throw out a theory that I’ve been thinking about... We know Owen and Gwen are hosting Tommy at their place for a backyard dinner. I assume her husband may be there as well, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Judd and Grace are there too. 

I ALSO would not be surprised if this is when one of the nights at Carlos’s place happens, like a parallel of the two dinner parties. That at least keeps every main character involved in both locations. We shall see though.

So this gathering at the firehouse seems like it’s going to be a pretty big scene, probably for episode 1. I think everyone’s gathered so that Owen can announce he’s in remission (we’ll hear him tell TK first, which is the hug that they share earlier in the trailer, I think). 

But this gathering also includes a Tommy/Grace moment, a Tarlos moment, the others doing other things kind of moments. It’ll serve the same purpose as a lot of the season 1 bar scenes, and I’m so glad they’ve moved those to the firehouse. I want that place to really start feeling like a home this year. 

(I want all of the locations to feel a little more grounded and special, if I’m being honest. Like, I’m SO GLAD that Carlos’s place is going to be a key location this season.)

There are now two instances of Carlos being next to Gwen (standing next to her while Owen makes an announcement and now sitting next to her at the table), so we better get some dialogue between them or I WILL BE SO UPSET. I WANT GWEN TO STAN CARLOS AS MUCH AS I DO.

EVERYONE IS SO CUTE IN THIS SCENE OKAY

TARLOS TARLOS TARLOS TARLOS

Like, WTF is TK’s face in this moment?! He looks so shy and bashful but also so happy and mushy and soft and in love. And then the way that Carlos softens because of how soft TK look?!?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! WHY AM I CRYING.

Seriously, I have to know what they’re talking about though to make TK fucking melt like that. 

Emergency stuff blah blah blah

TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS

IT’S SO FUCKING CASUAL AND PERFECT AND NATURAL AND LITERALLY JUST LIKE A “I came over to grab this food from you but since I’m here I might as well grab a kiss because I can’t help myself”

AND LIKE... Carlos just leans right into it?!?!?!? like it’s something that they do all the time?!?!?! WTF I LOVE THEM

Mateo watches this kiss and kind of looks like he was talking to Carlos, TK, or both of them, so I love that they’re like in the middle of conversation but still like “wait let me kiss my bf because he’s close by and so hot and I love him” SCREAMING

ALSO LET ME BE THIRSTY BUT CARLOS’S SHOULDERS AND BACK?!?!?! TK’S FUCKING ARMS?!?! I’M SO DAMN GAY

Speaking of arms: this rando bartender at the wrestling match (so Covid doesn’t last long on Lone Star, I’m assuming like 2 episodes maybe?) -- I love that they tried to put him in a tight shirt and make him look like a possible threat or something and I’m just like 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

IT’S LIKE THEY’VE NEVER SEEN CARLOS REYES BEFORE

AND THEN THE FUCKING GREEK GOD HIMSELF SAUNTERS UP WEARING A TIGHT FUCKING POLO - CHEST OUT, ARMS JACKED, HANDS IN HIS POCKETS TO DRAW ATTENTION TO HIS DICK AND I’M JUST SCREAMING AT THIS POINT

BOYFRIEND 

BOYFRIEND

BOYFRIEND

But, like, seriously, there is no comparison. Carlos is fucking Hercules over here and this no-name wannabe boyband member could be a sand-colored rock for all I care. 

YOU CANNOT COMPETE WITH CARLOS REYES, DON’T EVEN TRY IT

I do feel like these two clips (the calendar line and then Carlos’s line) are spliced together but they might not be back-to-back, and I would love to see how TK responds to the flirting before Carlos comes over

HIS FACE IS KILLING ME THOUGH WHEN CARLOS COMES UP

BLESS RONEN

I feel like I *think* I know what he’s thinking, but I also feel like I don’t. Certainly, the scene seems to end with them both smiling and happy, but I wonder if there will be a conversation about jealousy or something?! IDK BUT THEY’RE DEFINITELY GONNA TALK. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.

Someone posted how happy TK is going to be to have a boyfriend who is committed enough to him to be jealous, unlike Alex who didn’t care and cheated on him. I certainly think this could be a great moment for them to establish what this new relationship means for them, and I’m excited to see what they writers have planned.

I JUST LOVE CARLOS REYES THOUGH OKAY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

How many times is Fox gonna use that clip of him holding his gun though? We get it, he raises his gun. I’ve seen it like 7 times at this point. 

I’m not complaining, really. I’ll take his face where I can get it.

LOVING the Marjan clips

LOVING the Grace/Judd clips

LOVING the Paul clips

I LOVE ALL OF MY FAVES

CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM DEVELOP THIS YEAR

Hearing Rafa talk about using his voice and speaking for his community just slaughters my heart, I love this man so fucking much and I’m so happy to be discovering him at the start of his career because he is going to go on to do big things and make the world a better place with his positivity and light and love and I’m so excited to follow him on that journey I just love him okay

ALSO THE MAN LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD WHAT ARE THOSE ARMS I WANT TO DIE

THE FARMER’S MARKET SCENE

Are they shopping for food for the dinner party they’re hosting?! Maybe!

WE MEET SOME OF CARLOS’S PEOPLE

There is so much speculation surrounding who these two people could be, and I’ve heard some super interesting theories about Carlos’s backstory.

I’m gonna be basic though and stick with the fact that I think they’re his parents.

AND IF THEY ARE HIS PARENTS, THEY SEEM SO HAPPY TO MEET TK.

His dad/the man, like, shakes TK’s hand with so much gusto, a giant smile on his face

And Carlos smiles as he hugs his mom/the woman, and she’s smiling too

THEY ALL JUST SEEM SO HAPPY

I CAN’T BELIEVE WE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE AVOIDING THE HOMOPHOBIC PARENTS STORYLINE COMPLETELY

Y’ALL DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT TRAUMA

I mean, I don’t know for sure, we’re going to have to wait for the episode. But god, do I hope for it with every fiber of my being. I want their trauma, if they have to have it, to be separate from their sexuality. They’ve done so well with TK so far, I want the same for Carlos. Let the story be fresh, let it be different, LET US HAVE DIVERSE GAY STORYLINES.

Y’ALL THE TEAM HANGING OUT AT CARLOS’S PLACE

I CANNOT

I’LL NEVER BE OVER IT

HE’S PART OF THE CREW. HE’S PART OF THE FAMILY.

IT’S EVERYTHING THAT I COULD EVER WANT FOR HIM OKAY

I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY

THEY ARE SO HAPPY

WE ARE ALL SO HAPPY

I’M CRYING

I’M DEAD

LOL that was a lot but so was this promo.

Now, some somewhat sobering thoughts...

We all know season 1 had a real diversity and inclusion problem, we’ve seen the numbers. We also know that during the promotion for season 1, we ALSO got a diversity promo focusing on the LGBTQIA+ characters and the characters of color. I love that Fox wants to highlight the incredibly talented actors and characters that they have, but all of it means nothing if they are still tokens on the show. 

I have full faith that season 2 will be better, that some of the justified anger and frustration made it back to the writers and they internalized it and then make some real changes. However, because we did get a diversity promo last year, I have to remain a little cautious. This promo doesn’t really mean anything and if, somehow, season 2 goes the way season 1 did, it will be another instance of Fox using the characters of color to draw people in without actually giving them screentime and development. Which is a HUGE PROBLEM. So... I’m very excited and very hopeful, but also slightly wary.

Similarly, I’ve seen people say that they’re worried that, while there is so much Tarlos in this promo, this might be all the Tarlos we get this season. I don’t share the same concern, but like the diversity issue, I understand where that comes from. There was a lot of Tarlos in season 1′s promos and, as we now know, they got screentime in episodes 1-3 and then virtually nothing until episode 10. 

I kind of lost track of the filming schedule, but I think before they went on the holiday/extended hiatus, they filmed the first 5-6 episodes? Maybe? And we know that we’re getting 14 total this season, which means it’s possible that they haven’t even filmed half of them. 

I think the footage that we got in this promo is from, like, 3 or 4 episodes max. Definitely episodes 1 and 2, maybe 4, possibly 5. The crossover is episode 3 and I am still expecting to barely see Carlos in it - I just think it’s going to be very fire heavy one, especially with the members of the 118 coming in to steal screentime. He could be in one scene, maybe? Idk, I’m just not expecting a lot from that episode. 

And sure, we could get a lot of Tarlos at the beginning and then nothing for a whole string of episodes, but that also just doesn’t seem possible with the way they’ve restructured the relationship dynamics. Like, it really does seem like Carlos is going to be a part of the family this year, so I think it will be easier to include him and harder to delete him entirely. (Please let him at least appear in every single episode, I don’t want to be so fucking angry like last year.)

Also, if all of these scenes stay in the episodes, we are getting AT LEAST 4 Tarlos conversations - the firehouse, the wrestling match, the farmer’s market, the flirting by the truck - and other scenes of them being in the same space as part of a group. I’m sure there will be even more that we’re just not seeing. I’m very optimistic for this season and for the Tarlos content, and I really don’t think we’ll see the front-loaded imbalance that we saw last season. I think when they get back to filming the later episodes, there will be a good amount of Tarlos content in those, too!

I will say, though, that I am worried we’ve just seen the only kiss that they’ll share in the first 5 or so episodes. I’m just so used to network TV placing a limit on gay kisses, and Idk how much that has really changed in recent years. I truly love this kiss, and I hope there are more, but I would not be surprised if we end the season having only gotten like 2-3. (PLEASE LET ME BE WRONG.)

ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS UNTIL WE FIND OUT FOR SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[chiliconsharls]

ok. i hate to be put in this position because polo x carla x christian was an OT3 that was really close to my heart but yeah, here goes a long rant: POLO X CARLA X CHRISTIAN IS IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM BETTER THAN POLO X CAYETANA X VALERIO. 

First of all, anyone of you who says they’re just recycling or repeating that storyline can fuck right off, let us polyamorous people have more than one throuple in a show. 

Why is Polo x Caye x Valerio better? Simple: because they talk. Because they’re open. Because they’re aware of what they want. 

Polo x Carla x Christian was born out of a shady game/experiment Polo and Carla wanted to try. Polo x Carla x Christian throuple’s whole foundation was a clusterfuck.

Christian was fooled into thinking Carla was into him when really he was being watched without his consent when he had sex with her. Carla thought she was trying to salvage her relationship with her boyfriend and Polo was just trying to act on his attraction to men without having to end things with his girlfriend. Messy. Then when Christian got in on to the picture, he did so for his own, dishonest reasons. 

Let me break it down into the three parts, because that’s the real issue: all three of them did terrible, questionable stuff.

First, the original sinner & real orchestrator: Polo. Yes, this whole thing was Polo’s idea even though Carla had to nudge him towards it at given points. 

In season two we find ourselves with a Polo who’s not questioned about his bisexuality, who explicitly says “Bi? Is that what I am? You know, you may be right. I might be bi” when is labeled as such & then who reveals to Guzmán he was into him at some point in his life. We don’t know for sure how long people have known this about Polo, but they know now. But FIRST, in season one, we have this exchange between Carla and Polo, the first time he’s having doubts about what they’re doing: 

[btw, this is Carla being supportive of her bi bf, just saying. She was encouraging, at one point, but, yk, I’ll get to that]

Now, either this happened sometime before Polo’s bi awakening via Guzman’s incrediboy ass or this right there is Polo outright lying to Carla. Polo was aware that he was attracted to guys & his main goal of having a threesome with his gf & some other dude was to explore that (or he wasn’t but then the whole timeline is weird bc then that means he liked Guzman sometime during S1 events. idk). First strike. 

Then, where else did my dear chaotic bi Polo go wrong? He let himself get pushed & influenced by Guzmán’s nosy ass comments. Polo was ready to help Christian get a modeling job with his mother, to get Christian to like him as a friend, without anything sexual in return

but then Guzman got inside with his head with his “Christian wants to take advantage of you” & then Christian’s whole dismissive attitude towards him & Carla calling him out on being jealous just triggered his Messy Needy Bi brain. So he got Christian to suck his dick over a magazine cover = he took advantage of Christian before he could do it to him. Second strike

And the nail on the coffin was cheating on Carla. Because yes, that was cheating. He lied to her to get alone time with Christian so he could have him to himself. He broke his girlfriend’s trust &, as the principle of their arrangement stated they weren’t supposed to do anything with Christian without the presence of the other: he broke the rules. Third strike. 

This last point of Polo’s faults brings us to Carla’s mistakes:

As I pointed above, Carla did encourage Polo in his attraction towards guys. In the examples of: the scene above, when she told him he liked Christian undressed better, when she moved the boys’ chins to see if they would kiss with a smile on her face, even when she pointed out Polo was jealous she was amused by it. She was on board. In fact, she was actually even pushy about it when you come to think of it, which is not good, bc if Polo hadn’t told her then she just had to wait for him to gather the strength to say it, not push him out. But I digress.

It was only after Polo broke their pact that she turned disapproving & judgemental & did that cursed thing of questioning Polo’s bisexuality by saying “I think you like boys more than girls”.

A lot of people like to think that Carla pulled the strings to get herself this double course meal but as I said, that’s not the case. Polo had the idea, it’s just that Carla had the drive to actually pull it off. That being said, the way she decided to get there was controlling and messy, yes. Most of the times, she cared more about getting keeping the threesome arrangement than the genuine concerns and doubts her boyfriends had. Dick got her careless about her boys feelings.

Then there’s the fact that, yk, she coerced Polo into lying about what he had done (which, now that S3 is out makes me wonder a LOT), which ended up getting messier than it needed. And then she also dragged Christian down.

PS. Also, a lot of people seem to have pointed out that Carla was more into Christian than she was into Polo but I feel like that’s a reach. Polo had been her boyfriend for over four years, so ofc, she was a bit more enthusiastic when she was with Christian. But when it all came down, the one she really loved was Polo. Only Polo. (which is also an issue for a polyam triad, ofc)

Now, on to the icing of the cake: Mr. Christian “I’m not aware I’m a huge ass raging bisexual & Im upset about it” Varela. Yes. I said it. Christian’s bi, I got plenty of proof & no doubts.

As I’ve pointed before: Christian was put into this trio clueless. Used. Lied to. The guy had very valid reasons to go “if you want to spice things up in your relationship, get yourself some other guy”. But since he’s a dumb (bi) boy with a Plan, he accepted.

Nothing ever goes right in triad in which one party just “””accepts””; they’re either into it or they’re not. Forcing polyamory is just as bad as forcing monogamy.

That’s not saying that Christian wouldn’t have gladly been a part of their trio had they gone right at it (just, picture it, Polo helping Christian get that fame & recognition he craves, slowly getting close to him. Carla being supportive & reassuring of her interest in them, equally, bam! They would’ve gotten Christian forever).

However that didn’t happen, so instead, we got a Christian who’s core interest was sexual & social/economic. He wanted to be with Carla for sex & with Polo for money/prestige.

There was potential for Christian to realize he’s not straight. Because no straight man looks like this when being sucked off by a guy:

There was potential for Christian to fall in actual love with Carla, too. Potential for Christian to become more than what his parents thought him to be & to exploit that ambitious side of him in something that would’ve made him truly successful. However, Miguel Herran (Christian’s actor) had scheduling conflicts or didn’t wish to be part of the show anymore so all that potential went to waste. 

Why Polo x Caye x Val are better

Essentially: because they have none of the above.

Polo has left insecure-about-his-bisexuality Polo behind, he’s grown & knows better than to lie & be pushed around now. Cayetana is in no position of power to be controlling or pushy. & Valerio is fully aware of who he is/what he wants with them from the beginning. 

The circumstances have made Polo stop being concerned about what his friends (now former friends) think of him & his love life. In fact, he proudly rejoices in it & tells the people he cares about,  about it (Ander, his moms). Polo’s really only hesitation at first was rooted in the fact that his previous try with Carla & Christian didn’t work out. 

Valerio comes forward with his equal interest in them as soon as he realizes that’s what he wants. (which is after he learns Polo tried to commit suicide) He makes sure to state, verbally, that he’s into both of them: 

& even makes sure that they like him back by asking them. Which they verbally assure Valerio they do. But they’re only saying no because they don’t want to tarnish Valerio’s already controversial reputation, showing that: they care about Valerio at that point already. 

Cayetana, for her part, did positively what Carla wasn’t able to, for one reason or the other: constantly be reassuring and supportive of the triad. She’s the one who made sure the triad kept on by just being open & honest about how good it was for them. (”You’re the piece we were missing” to Valerio & “We’re building something nice here. Something worthwhile” to Polo). 

When Polo&Christian wanted to call quits & break up the arrangement, Carla forced them back in with manipulative tricks (sex or pressure). Meanwhile, when Polo&Valerio got insecure about the triad, Caye lured them back in with honest, sweet words and reassurance.

Ultimately, the reason they fell apart was entirely fixable had they had had more time, but the season was about to be over & Polo’s fate was already set, anyways. 

You can argue Polo x Carla x Christian was hotter or that they felt more organic to you, fine. But they’re not a better trio & they’re definitely not a better polyamship; they had the potential, but the writers didn’t exploit it (& I’m sure that’s because Miguel H got out).

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Chapstick (Lance Tucker x you)

Characters: Lance Tucker x female Reader

Summary: Y/N was in the middle of getting trained for the Olympics when her boyfriend decided to talk to her just to break up. Lance sees his trainee having a mental breakdown and he didn't hesitate to comfort her.

Warnings: A LOT of cuss words. We're talking about Lance Tucker, Tater tots. An asshole ex boyfriend. Kinda asshat, Tucker. Just kinda?

Words: 3,763

A/N: This is my first oneshot for him, I guess? I hope y'all would love it because I had fun writing him!

Disclaimer: GIF'S and pictures used are not mine. Only the edits are and the oneshot of course. 😉 Credits to the owners of the GIFS.

PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME. 

"What do you mean it's not good, coach? I've did what you wanted me to do!" You huffed and panted at the same time. Chest heaving up and down as you eyed your hot coach, all prepped up with his blue, white and red uniform that he never ceases to forget to wear every damn day. He stood before you looking like a Greek god and you mentally slapped yourself for thinking about obscene things with him when you were in a relationship with your boyfriend. Plus, Lance was a total douche towards you so imagining those things could make you cringe at the thought because of his obnoxious personality that was overpowering the attraction you had for the man, mentally killing the attraction you had.

"You wobbled," Lance 'the fucker' Tucker spat as a matter of fact, squinting his eyes on your ungraceful form, probably judging you inside his head.

You rolled your eyes in discreet, he probably saw that because you do it all the time but he didn't bother acknowledging it. You marched out of the mat to go chalk your hands because it seemed to sweat a little much today. Your high bun ponytail swinging in the same time with your heavy footsteps. Here you thought your coach would stop pestering you, it turns out he never knew when to shut his filthy..gorgeous mouth of his.

"Did I tell you to fucking walk off?" Lance spat, his brows cinched together. He was acting like a pole was up in his butt, even more hot headed than the days before. He was certainly not helping your mixed emotions running inside your stupid head. "I'm this close to ripping your balls away and making you eat it alive!" You reprimanded back, teeth gritted together. The sudden power answering him back shocked you because you never did since day one. However, today seemed to be an exception. Lance was acting more of an asshole than he is and he better not make a mistake because you could turn feral when provoked.

"Do it! Fucking do it, I fucking dare you, Y/N!" He barked back, marching towards you with that fiery gaze of his. His gaze looked so sexy and hot, yet you were trying your hardest not to get affected by your raging hormones travelling inside of your head and in between your legs. You were a taken lady, have a boyfriend even. A boyfriend who appear to be distant and cold the past weeks. Your heart stopped beating when you felt Lance's hands on the sides of your arms, his fingers digging on your sides, he leaned down to be in line with your vision. It was then and there you saw how beautiful the colors of his eyes were, they were a pretty pair despite of the pissed off look he was giving you. He was being the epitome of a walking sin. "You're all talk and less action, Y/L/N. Kitty got scared?" His pretty Steele blue eyes was livid. Eyebrows all up and daring you, "I'd rather have your lips sucking my balls, wouldn't it be a waste if you would throw it away? Come on, Y/N." He clucked his tongue, cocking his head to the side as he found everything amusing, yet slightly aggravating for you. "Have a little fun while you have it,"

Lance's tasteful lips turned into a smirk, his demeanor goading you into grabbing the bait. "My nuts won't bite...unless triggered,"

Your jaw was tightly clenched, your next words coming out of your lips harshly, eyes completely trained on the piercing blue eyes of your trainer, trying hard not to back down and kiss his feet. "You sick fuck," Your nickname for him made him raise a brow, shaking his head in entertainment. "Why are you even so mad at me right now? I did nothing wrong!"

His hands began to rest on the sides of his hips, and you knew in that simple gesture meant that he switched to his coach mode, full rant about your performance with the practice was about to get jot down like bullets. "You keep doing mistakes, even have a difficult time registering the basics inside your head!" Lance licked his lips in aggravation, pointing a finger at you. "If you're goddamn distracted because of one stupid fucking lover problems, you better know to throw those pathetic distractions away while you're here! We gotta act professional, Y/N!"

An audible loud snort came out of you as you shook your head in utter disbelief. "Wow," You spat as a matter of fact, giving him a series of claps. Entirely amused by the methods of his coaching. "So much to say for yourself, Coach. Aren't you the sick fuck who was asking a twenty year old to suck his balls a while ago?"

He had back you away till your back hit a cold metal pole. Lance was eyeing you down like a lion watching his prey, never even forgetting to give you a once over because you looked completely exquisite in your leotard. "I wasn't asking," He muttered nonchalantly, popping a gum inside his filthy mouth, Mint. Definitely mint because whenever he had to talk to you up close, his minty breath was all you could ever sniff besides his spicy, macho perfume that all the itchy ladies loved. "It was a great suggestion rather than ripping my balls off alive," Lance chewed on his gum very loudly, making you more irritated by his huge ego, conceitedness and arrogance.

He was clearly even a walking asshat, you mindlessly thought over the back of your mind. Embedding that opinion inside your head over and over again.

Your staring contest was cut off when both of you heard a loud knock on a wall, letting his presence be known. Lo and behold, the boy who had forget about you for an entire week stood at the end of the gym. Looking all innocent and anxious as he stood his weight from one foot to the other. He then yelled, never looking bothered that Lance seemed to be rather much close to you and has you trapped in his presence. "May I speak to her?" Your boyfriend croaked out, sounding unattractively throaty. "It's important,"

Lance spun his heels around, his brows deeply furrowed, eyes squinted and glaring at the young man who came to see you. He looked definitely more furious than before, "What if I fucking say no?" He spoke aloud, oblivious that he raised a hand to brush his perfectly fuck boy gelled up hair. "We're practicing! Come back when she's fucking done being an uncoordinated gymnast!" He lowly snorted, only you had the advantage because you were close to your asshole of a coach. His piercing blue eyes swiftly landed on you, cocking his head to where your boyfriend was, a lopsided smile on show. "Limp dick's here to get his damsel in distress, if you ever were in a fucking distress which I clearly can't see,"

"Can you stop being an asshole for one second?" You exasperatedly whisper-yelled at the Adonis in front of you, sounding desperate as you were on the verge on exploding all your pent up emotions towards everyone. You definitely had to deal with your boyfriend right now, and Lance is not helping. Your heels whipped around, eyes leaving your very amused coach in the gym as you flipped him the bird after he yelled, "I'm giving you five minutes, so you better not fuck like rabbits in my gym!"

You shake your head, rubbing your temples together as you paraded towards where your boyfriend was, looking serious and mad. Well, what was his problem then? You weren't the person who became distant, forgetting that you have a boyfriend. It was technically the other way around. Arms crossed in front of him, you glared into his eyes. Totally showing how pissed off you were at him, yet the sentence he spat seem to irk you more. "Lance Tucker? Really, Y/N? There are tons of great coaches in the world, why the fuck did you pick him?"

"Everybody had 24 hours a day, so why didn't you fucking bother talking to me when all I ever wanted was a bit of your attention?"

(Y/BF/N)'s eyes went all wide. Igniting that growing anger inside of him. "Don't change the topic, Y/N--"

"You're here to bitch out about why I chose Lance as a coach? Why don't we skip the irrelevant problem and go straight to the main problem? Why. Did. You. Ignored. Me. For. A. Week Y/BF/N?" Your words were emphasized and even your emotions. The more that your conversation continues, the more it gets intense. From the moment you've started raising your voice, a man who have been busying himself with his phone on the other end of the gym have raised his head, instantly setting his pretty blue eyes as he was checking if you were still fine.

Which is exactly the opposite.

"Babe," Y/BF/N tried to reach your arm, yet you were faster and harshly jerked his hand away. "Oh no you don't," He dropped his hands in a tight fist, glaring down at your figure. Oh, the audacity. "Don't call me that because it's giving me shivers,"

"Bet he calls you that too," He spat, his eyebrows cinched together in fury. Was he really thinking you and Lance had something together? Sure, your coach was a womanizer, but you...you won't go that far with him. Your mind was set, you've picked Lance because he won gold and silver. He has a lot of potential in teaching you how to win the gold. You know everything happening was strictly professional..sometimes. But, it's not the point. You know he's a great gymnast.

Former limp dick shrugged his lanky shoulders, staring straight at you with no remorse, showing the animosity that you didn't expect to come from him. He was acting strange, like he's become a changed man in just over a week. "You probably moan his name in bed either, Maggie showed me the video,"

Well, that made your eyebrows grow up higher than the empire state building.

"Maggie--Maggie Townsend? How the fuck do you even know her? And what video?"

You've notice a pair of eyes have been on you since the moment your argument started, you couldn't help but take a glimpse at the asshole of a coach that you have.

His eyes were tightly squinted together, Lance looked like he was ready to pounce on Y/BF'S/N, eyebrows all furrowed and serious..Your heart skipped a beat as you saw him being all protective, guarding you like a hawk. Even thinking that your boyfriend would hurt you at that exact moment..Not until Lance started wiggling his brows, nodding knowingly at you while he raised his wrist, showing you the time while he gestured that you only had two minutes left.

Y/BF'S/N technically curved your question and started ranting with his unstoppable dirty ass mouth, making your insides go at war with your emotions. He was really getting on your nerves right now and Lance didn't let that go unnoticed when you started impatiently tapping your foot on the floor while you tightened your fists. "Don't be an in denial bitch, Y/N. You're just like everybody else. What's even special about him? His huge ego? Conceited self? A narcissistic bastard? Or his arrogance turned you on, so that's why you gave in?" He whisper-yelled, scared that Lance would hear the argument. Wow, what a limp dick indeed.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING?" You yelled and the whole gym echoed. Lance began to cross his arms, his thewy biceps already popping out of his red, blue and white uniform. Every little bit of his attention was practically on you, and only you.

"Don't play dumb on me, Y/N. I had to force this out of Maggie in exchange for..something valuable. If I didn't give her what she wanted, then I wouldn't have known this,"

"What the fuck are you talking about? What did you even give her?" You didn't realized that your voice started to go quieter, smaller and weak. There was a hunch inside your head, but you were trying your hardest not to believe it. However, your boyfriend's next words broke you whole, tearing the trust and love you had for him. Even your big, youthful heart.

Y/BF'S/N's whole demeanor changed, he held his head up high as he looked down on you. Seeing you in the verge of tearing apart was feeding his ego and pride. It was making him damn happy for a lie that was fed off to him by a woman who was extremely infatuated at him. Hard. "Paradise. Just like those kind that Mr. Lance-the-fucker-Tucker gives you,"

"W-What?" You stuttered, and Lance saw how your shoulders fell. It wasn't the Y/N he knew. You should've sassily raised a brow at your boyfriend, show him those fangs that he sees all the time.

Lance sighed exasperatedly to himself, pinching at his temples. "Fuck, Tucker. Don't interfere, don't fucking involve yourself." He chanted like it was his mantra.

"That's right, Y/N. Now, you know how it feels,"

You blew out a breath you've been holding, glowering at him with an incredulous glint in your eyes. "Are you seriously thinking straight right now?" You spat, squinting your eyes at him and realizing that his eyes looked entirely different, too different and colored. "Oh, God. No you aren't. Your eyes are full blown red, you're...you're--"

Lance saw how you washed your face with your hand, trying to hold back on punching your ex-boyfriend in the face. He saw you raise your arm, pointing towards where the exit was.

"Get outta my fucking sight, Y/BF/N! You're a fucking douche bag, an asshole!"

Y/BF'S/N cocked his head to the side, smirking widely. His mouth never knowing when to stop, "If I'm an asshole, then you're a bitch. Fair enough?"

The whole gym was quiet, your mind went blank and you just wanted to scream at him for showing you his true demons. He wasn't the boy you used to love, the boy in front of you was a huge bastard, he even had the courage to smirk after basically telling you he had sex with your friend turned enemy when she began leaving you for a new, popular group of friends and her boyfriend who have been the popular boy in school.

Past was definitely the past. Time's changed now and you were already in your freshman year, you knew she went to a university far from you but you didn't expect she'll still be around. Maggie even had to guts to ruin your relationship and lie just to have her favorite, new eye-candy who was technically not available, yet that didn't stop them from fucking each other.

You could feel yourself frowning, eyes all cloudy and warm. Uh-oh, you thought to yourself. Your tears were threatening to fall and if he doesn't leave, then he'll have the satisfaction to see you crying over a worthless boy.

"Aw, guilty as charged, Y/N?" He badly teased, leaning down to take a better view of your face. You were about to open your mouth and shout a loud cuss on his face, yet you heard a voice that you didn't expect would be your knight in shining armor because he can also be a knight in shining asshole at the same time. But, to make everything a little better, Lance probably thought it was time to show his assholey-ness towards a person who was born the same race with him.

"Hey, dick-sucking-fucker! That's enough! Out of my fucking gym," Lance crossed his arms after practically marching with heavy foot steps as he went towards where you were. Y/BF'S/N gave him a scowl and to your surprise, Lance snaked his hand on your shoulder, clamping his hand tightly on your arm. Mentally telling you now to cry over a petty boy like your ex. You bit your lip hard before squeezing yourself in between the empty space of Lance's arm, which made him lift a lopsided smile when you did.

He saw how your ex-boyfriend took notice of the interaction. That's good, Lance's mindlessly thought at the back of his mind. That's what he wanted Y/BF'S/N to feel. He wanted him to die inside his own insecurities and doubtfulness, believing over a manipulated gossip that was obviously a lie.

"What are you going to fucking do about it, asshole?"

Lance shrugged, chewing on his gum rather loudly than he intended too. "I'm letting you choke up a fucking pole while you try and smoke another joint, Limp dick."

"M-My dick is not limp," Y/BF'S/N reprimanded, stuttering by Lance's intimidating aura. Just his mere presence could make his ego turn to dust. Your coach snickered, chuckling to himself and raising his hand to point out what he wanted to say. "Small dick? better? I remember how Y/N told me it was a size of a--what was that called? Oh, a fucking Chapstick,"

"You assho--!"

"I'm an asshole, but at the same fucking time," Lance breathed though his nose, eyes blazing and taunting. "I'm the fucking God of gymnastics and that's why your fucking girlfriend whom you took for fucking granted chose me over your good-for-nothing self!"

You were moved when Lance rapidly snatched your ex-boyfriend's shirt by the neck, his steele blue eyes entirely in rage, completely heated with anger because of how Y/BF'S/N was disrespecting you. Your heart stopped as you stared at the both of them having an intense staring competition.

You could see how Lance was panting hard and how startled your ex boyfriend was from how your coach snapped. "Leave, weed dick. I don't want you near my gym at all costs, if all you'll ever do is let a beautiful, precious woman cry her heart out, then you better leave. Out. NOW. "

Beautiful. Lance's words kept replaying inside your head even after he pushed your ex-boyfriend away towards the exit. He suddenly became nice and it was impossible.

You stood rooted on the ground, completely shook from the sudden plot twist that happened in your life. The loud bang of the door made you jump, and you saw how Lance marched towards you. A grimace shown in his attractive features. Once he stopped in arms reach, you were startled to feel his rough fingers wiping your hot tears away. "Stop," He nonchalantly uttered, ignoring your questioning eyes. "Stop crying for a useless asshole like him, he doesn't fucking deserve it,"

He placed his hands on his hips after wiping your tears away, scratching his neck as he glanced to see your eyes that needed answers from him. "What--Do you--" You started but ceased yourself to continue as you thought everything all out. You were about to open your mouth for the second time when his next words kept your mouth zipped.

"I meant it,"

You raised a brow at him. Sniffing your snot away. What did he mean that he meant it? Your asshole of a boyfriend broke up with you and now your coach says he meant it? Did he meant to call you beautiful? He's kidding.."I meant that he's a fucking limp dick, Y/N. Do you really think I'll fucking call you beautiful when you're giving me a headache because of being so uncoordinated?!" Lance saved himself from being misunderstood. Unless, he was lying. He was now crossing his bulgy arms, and repeatedly placing his hand back on his hips like he was acting fidgety.

"I wasn't even saying anything?" You spoke back, a small smile wanting to come out but you're fighting it back. Trying to appear serious in front of your bothered coach. "You're uncoordinated and fucking hard headed," Lance sternly muttered to himself, his scowl and eyebrows tightly cinched together. Finding out how those words slipped out of his dirty little tucker mouth. You could feel your hidden pride clapping inside of your brain as a smirk lifted your lips up in entertainment, "I'm uncoordinated and hard headed,"

Lance huffed to himself, eyebrows raising as he nodded so big. "Took you long enough to realize, Y/N!"

You lowly laughed to yourself, eyeing him up as he was towering over you. His perfume so aromatic that it could hypnotize you and maybe it did because you were starting not to think straight, "But that didn't stop you from staring at my ass the entire time,"

You stood on your tippy toes, trying to reach his ears and the look on his face was priceless. "I'm uncoordinated and so hard headed that you so wanted to fuck, Lance Tucker."

Y/N had the last laugh because she was right and for the first time, Lance the fucker tucker was speechless because everything she said was true and he couldn't believe it himself.

PLEASE DO REBLOG, COMMENT OR LIKE THIS POST! IF YOU WANT MORE, GO FOLLOW MY BLOG PROFILE! Thank you for reading, Tater tots! 

MY BLOG PROFILE

[codyssfern]

college!shawn where his roommates let y/n stay with them because she used to live with her bf but not anymore cuz they broke up and shawn dosent want to let her stay, he’s annoyed with her cuz she’s always happy and giddy and he’s like isn’t she supposed to be sad??she sleeps in the living room and one day when shawn goes to grab a water or something he hears her crying. and he hates it so much. and slowly he starts softening up to her. omg this is so specific im crying 🥺🥺🥺🥺

a/n | warnings: this may be a bit long + lots of swearing

-

“wait what?!”

brian raises his eyebrows at the boy, not really understanding his confusion or anger. he’d just told shawn that y/n would be staying with them at their dorm. see y/n was previously dating their best friend, adam, and when they broke up shawn was rather relieved, assuming she was gonna stop coming over, finally. let’s just say her perky attitude almost made his blood boil in annoyance.

“dude, she and adam are over! why the fuck does she have to keep living here?” shawn growled as he walked to the kitchen.

brian couldn’t believe his shitty attitude, “because she’s our friend, shawn! she’s mine and connor’s too. by now i thought you two would’ve been friends too.” 

shawn chuckles under his breath.

“y/n is nothing but nice to you. to all of us! and adam was an asshole for leaving her like he did and i’m not about to send her out in the streets okay?!”

“the streets? brian you’re talking about the girl who’s dad owns like half of toronto!” shawn defends, “i am sure one phone call is all it takes for her daddy to buy her a brand new condo.” 

shawn couldn’t put it to words exactly what was his problem with y/n. all he knew was that every time he saw her or heard her he’d find himself rolling his eyes so far back they could come out the back of his head. 

“bro you’re such an asshole! you know how difficult her relationship with her dad is,” shawn shrugs his shoulders while taking a sip of his beer, “just keep your mouth shut if you’re not going to be nice okay? she isn’t really the person you wanna be shitty too right now.” 

-

y/n’s hands trembled as she walked up to the dorm. she wasn’t exactly thrilled to greet her ex boyfriend’s roommates, well just one especifically. shawn. she had no idea why he despised her so much. she had tried so hard to get to know him and give him a chance- of course only on brian’s behalf because if it had been for her, she would’ve given up the second she met him. 

“did you ever plan on knocking?” 

y/n snaps out of her thoughts and realized she’d been standing on the doorstep for god knows how long. 

“oh god how long have i been standing here?” y/n asks in embarrassment. 

“dunno’ actually,” brian says letting her in, “shawn’s the one who saw you standing there from outside his window.” 

y/n gave him a wry smile, “oh goody, he knows i’m here. do i hide now or later?” 

her sarcasm was almost sad to brian. brian hated the way shawn made y/n feel.

“Y/N?!”

brian and y/n turn around and there was connor at the top of the stairs

“well come down here, blue eyes!” y/n said making him giggle and rush down the stairs. 

once connor comes down the stairs, he wraps his arms around y/n almost lifting her feet up the ground in the hug, “we’ve missed you much.” 

“we?” 

the sound of his voice almost made y/n feel tightness in her throat. brian kept looking at y/n waiting to see if she was gonna say something but y/n just stood there.

“sorry. was told to be nice but guess i couldn’t resist,” shawn said walking past her. 

y/n scoffs, “yeah, you never miss a chance to be an asshole do you?” 

this was going to be one hell of a year. y/n thought to herself. first adam. he’d gotten a job offer at one of the most pristine law firms in london and when he asked y/n to go with him, she said couldn’t. that resulted in a big fight and ended in a breakup. now with him gone and she not wanting to ask her dad for money to rent a place to live, she had to stay with a guy who despised her for a whole year. y/n didn’t know how she was going to do it.

-

“wait so your dad married a girl half our age?!” 

y/n lets out a breathy chuckle, “wouldn’t be the first time.” 

“so what you’re saying is,” y/n raises her eyebrow at connor while taking a sip of her beer, “vicky from biology can easily be your next step-mom?” 

y/n gasps, nudging connor’s leg with her’s, “oh fuck you, conn!” 

the laughs coming from the back patio almost made shawn’s blood boil. he couldn’t understand how she could be so happy and perky after what adam had done. he didn’t understand why she was always so nice even in the most shittiest situations with people. he didn’t understand how she was so positive about things even when they were negative. he envied her. that was it. he wanted to be like her in that sense. not hate the world every time something bad happened to him, he wanted to be understanding like her. sweet like her. but he would never admit it.

“if he starts being a dick you know what to do.” brian motions to shawn who was sitting on the couch watching tv. 

y/n nods her head, letting out a weak sigh, “if i had known you two weren’t gonna be here tonight i would’ve come tomorrow.” she admits

“i know, we’re sorry. you know how study groups are,” by then connor started honking, letting brian know they had to go. “you’ll be fine. if you have to lock yourself in mine or connor’s room, just do it.” 

 brian gives y/n a quick kiss on the cheek before making his way down to the car. and just like that, there were just two. y/n took a deep breath before closing the door and turning around to face shawn. the tension in the air was thick and almost dry in a way. if it hadn’t been for the loud screams coming from the tv, y/n could’ve sworn you could drop a clothing pin and it would echo between the walls.

“i’m gonna go make myself something to eat,” y/n starts, “would you like something?” 

shawn sighs, pausing the tv, “yeah maybe a sandwich with a little bit of that perky attitude of yours on the side.” he snaps sarcastically. 

“sometimes i can’t believe you’re almost a whole 21 year old, in uni,” shawn’s eyes meet her’s, not letting her out of his gaze, “you know because i don’t think i’ve ever met someone so immature at this day and age in uni.” 

shawn chuckled. even when she’s trying to sound mean, she somehow sounds like she’s complimenting him. it filled him with rage. soon enough, y/n gave up and just made her way into the kitchen. her goal? to avoid the boy for the rest of the night.

-

“you’re the one who left!” 

shawn’s eyes flutter. he groans as he hears loud whispers coming from downstairs, shaking his head, running his fingers through his tired eyes. he stretches his legs before pulling the sheets off his exposed skin and rolling out of bed. he’d left his door half opened, that’s why he could hear the noise coming from downstairs. 

“you don’t get to call me when you’re drunk and make me feel even shittier for not going with you,” the soft sobs echoing the the whole house almost made shawn’s heart ache. “goodbye, adam. don’t call me again unless you’ve figured out your shit!” 

y/n throws her phone across the couch and lets her head fall in her hands. she was a mess but she’d never let anyone see it. her whole body trembling as she sobbed her pain away. 

“you okay?” 

y/n didn’t answer or even turn to look at him. shawn scratched the back of his head not knowing what to do. in all the years he’d known y/n, he had never seen her break down. she always kept herself in place, in check... something he’d let her believe annoyed him but in reality, he admired it. 

“look,” he walks over to her, kneeling down and placing his hands on her knees. they were shaking. “adam’s a dick okay? an absolute dick and you know that black eye he had before he left?” 

y/n finally looked up, her red teary eyes, meeting his. “what? now you’re gonna tell me that was you? that you gave him that black eye?” she scoffed in disbelief. 

“when brian told me what happened, i felt this sudden rage and in that moment i wanted nothing more but for him to pay for what he did,” shawn explains, “and so that night i went to his room and i punched him.” 

y/n looked at him. not quite sure if he believed him but she was way too tired and weak to question him. 

“well no more giving out free punches for me, mendes.” 

shawn grabbed y/n’s hands from her face and softly brushed his thumb over her warm skin, “i’d go on a punching spree for you.”

y/n chuckled pushing his hand away, “that’s weirdly romantic.” 

shawn smiles and gets back on his feet. extending his hand out, “cmon, i’ll make us some tea, we can watch a movie after and cuddle or whatever you need to feel better.”

“brian and connor walking in on us cuddling... that’s definitely gonna make them feel like the world’s coming to an end.” y/n says grabbing shawn’s hand. 

“no better way to spend the last day on earth than by cuddling you.” 

y/n rolls her eyes, “mendes,” he looks at her, “you’re about the cheesiest guy i’ve ever met.”

[katecarteir]

status pending.

Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier (Reddie) | Chapter One | Teen Audiences

Richie stalled for a moment, lowering his phone away from his face and looking up at Stan across the room. His best friend was tossing clothes into his drawers, re-packing up his childhood bedroom after getting home from university.

“Hey so,” Richie cleared his throat awkwardly, hands starting to shake. “I don’t know what the fuck is happening.”

[or: Richie makes a joke. Eddie responds outside the realm of expectation and now not one person has any fucking idea what's going on at all.]

Richie Tozier tossed his duffel bag down on Stanley Uris’ front porch and gave a toothy grin. Stan looked up at him from where he was still bringing his own belongings in from his father’s mini van.“ Trashmouth Tozier. I’d almost forgotten what life was like your constant annoyance by my side.”

Richie grinned at him. “I think we both know that’s your way of saying that you missed me but you don’t want anybody to see your softer side.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “I am perfectly fine with people seeing my so-called softer side. It’s just you that I don’t think needs it- you have enough delusions on how much I enjoy your company as it is.”

Richie tossed an arm around Stan’s shoulder and kissed his cheek wetly. “I love you, too, Uris.” Stan gave the smallest hint of a smile and Richie beamed at him. “Good! I already cleared it with Went and Maggie for me to spend the night here.”

“By cleared it with, you actually told them you wouldn’t be back in town until tomorrow afternoon because there’s no way your parents would be okay with you spending your first night back in town after almost a year at my house?” Stan challenged with a smirk.

Richie tapped himself three times on the nose. “You know me very well!”

The two boys brought their belongings inside, and Stan couldn’t help himself from looking at his best friend. He hadn’t seen Richie at Christmas, his family having flown out to California for a vacation during Richie’s break rather him driving back home to cold-ass Derry for the season. He thought his friend might be a little skinner, but he may also have been a little taller, too. He’d grown his hair out since last August, the dark curls grazing at his shoulders now and there was a definite skip in the mans step. It occurred to Stan then, just looking at Richie, that Richie had grown into a man at UCLA. That air of hyperactivity and built up energy seemed to have dimmed to a simple burning charisma. Confidence was around Richie Tozier like a cape, an air of somebody who saw and experienced a true new life across the country.

Stan stopped and tugged on Richie’s arm, pulling him to stop outside Stan’s bedroom.  “Hey, man. You looked good.”

Richie beamed.

They were a few drinks in, leaning against the foot of Stan’s bed while episodes of the Office played un-watched in the background. “I’m serious, dude,” Richie said, his California surfer slang seeming no longer just part of his Voices but now part of his regular vocabulary. “School is the best thing that I ever happened to me, I learned so much just like… in general. About everything.”

Stan nodded, eyes glazed over slightly as he brought his can to his mouth and sipped lightly. He could never keep up with Richie when it came to drinking, and never really tried. He always ended up drunker than his friend, either way, and it seemed Richie Tozier had learned a thing or two about alcohol tolerance while at school. “And you know what I learned… I learned, you know, Eddie, man… he’s got the right idea.”

Stan frowned. “Right idea about what?”

“Boys.” Richie said with a sigh, leaning against the bed frame while Stan choked on his drink slightly. “The first time I hooked up with a guy, my head was like… spinning. It was such a different world out there, like that stuff is totally chill. Nobody ever really questions it, I never even thought about dudes before moving because you know…. chicks, am I right? Besides Eddie, I never really looked at another dude but out there that’s totally just… you know?”

Stan narrowed his eyes, shaking his slightly while trying to sort through all the words Richie had thrown at him just then. “You… You like Eddie?”

“What?” Richie startled, eyes going wide. He opened his mouth, then shut it. “I didn’t…. that wasn’t what I was trying to say. I don’t… I haven’t seen Eddie in almost a year. We talk all the time, just like the rest of you, but we’re not… I guess I told him I like dudes when I was sort of freaking out about it, but that’s….”

Stan raised his eyebrows. “You didn’t say no.”

Richie blanched, looking wildly around the room for something that would help him out the situation his drunken brain couldn’t think through. “I don’t… I don’t know, I never…. Maybe? I guess, I mean…. I might have always had a little bit of crush on him but that’s because he’s Eddie, you know? He’s so fucking cute. That’s all it is. I’m not like… in love with the dude. We aren’t gonna get married.”

Stan giggled, pushing to his feet. “Whatever you say, Rich.”  Richie stared off where Stan was rummaging through his packed boxes and frowned to himself. The dinging of his phone brought a more than welcome distraction.

How Do You Get Dick From Richard (8:11pm)

gay eddie k : honestly!!!! i just!!!! want a bf!!!!

gay eddie k: somebody boyfriend me!!!

beaverly : i’d say mood but i already have the worlds best boyfriend!

benny : i love u beverly

beaverly : I LOVE YOU BEN

Stan : Ew. Heteros.

big bill : stan is heterophobic #confirmed.

big dick rich : i’ll be your boyfriend eds

magic mike: omg

gay eddie k: ok :)

magic mike : OH MY GOD  

Richie stalled for a moment, lowering his phone away from his face and looking up at Stan across the room. His best friend was tossing clothes into his drawers, re-packing up his childhood bedroom after getting home from university. Richie thought it was a little unnecessary to move his things back in, when he would be packing those belongings back up into the same boxes to go back to Georgia State in a few months. When Richie had brought these concerns up to his friends, everybody except Beverly had told him how disgusting and unhealthy it was to live out of suitcases, so he’d decided to leave that detail of his life to himself until returning to Cali in September.

“Hey so,” Richie cleared his throat awkwardly, hands starting to shake. “I don’t know what the fuck is happening.”

Stan turned around, frowning at Richie as the man’s phone began to ding repeatedly. Panicked, Richie tossed the phone to the mattress, prompting Stan to move over and pick it up. Frowning, he slowly handed the phone back to him with an obvious what have you done? look.

PRIVATE MESSAGE FROM BEVERLY MARSH

PRIVATE MESSAGE FROM BEVERLY MARSH

PRIVATE MESSAGE FROM BEN HANSCOM

PRIVATE MESSAGE FROM BEVERLY MARSH

“ahhhhh” Richie shouted, covering his eyes with his faces. “Stan, what the fuck did I just do? What the fuck, what the fuck.”

Stan’s eyes went wide over read over Richie’s messages.

“Did you just ask Eddie to be your boyfriend?”

“I don’t know…”

“Did he seriously say yes?”

“I don’t know!”

“Are you guys dating?”

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!”

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Grace: is that you or has one of the others beat me to your room? Janis: what the hell where you gonna do in my room Grace: just have more getting ready space Janis: yeah, basement lighting is 🔥 Grace: & I don't want them looking better than me duh Grace: whatever are you okay?? Janis: sure Janis: well they won't be if they try and come in here Janis: why wouldn't I be Grace: obvs 🙄 Grace: not gonna send them in now Grace: is your boyfriend?? did his dad freak out? Janis: I'm not telling you so you can tell everyone Grace: um excuse you Grace: I wouldn't Grace: I'm asking cos you said his dad was like Grace: 😱😱😱 Janis: Well he's fine Janis: but he's staying so can you all try not to be so loud Grace: 👌👌👌👌 Janis: how many of them are coming back here Grace: I'll make them go to Mia's Janis: alright Janis: tah Grace: ew don't thank me Grace: are you coming to the party tonight babes? Janis: don't be a dick Janis: yeah Janis: who's is it again Grace: RUDE Grace: Leah's?? is that her name? Grace: 🤔🤔 Grace: oh Asia says her name's Lara Grace: whatever Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah, whatever Janis: are you making dad take you or what Grace: ugh don't remind me so cringe Grace: I think we're gonna order a lift so I don't die of embarrassment Janis: you're way too pissed the feel shame Grace: I AM NOT Grace: but maybe I will ask him cos Mia isn't here Grace: none of the other girls will be THAT RUDE Janis: may as well Janis: he's a pushover Grace: are you coming with? Janis: nah Janis: wouldn't be room anyway would there Grace: not like safely but they've fitted way more of us in than that when we were little OMG Grace: how are you gonna get there? Janis: well we ain't and you ain't sitting on his lap Janis: walk, easiest Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: you could Grace: OMG no it's like REALLY far Janis: Not really Janis: we'll be fine Grace: you just wanna walk so you can be alone 💕 Grace: sooo cute Janis: it's more about avoiding yous but go off Grace: well that's mean Grace: so glad you don't mean it & are 😍😍 Janis: 😏🖕 whatever you say Grace: OMG don't be horrible to me Janis: Why Janis: that's what I do, yeah Grace: cos Mia's being 😈😈😈 Grace: & I can't even Janis: Quelle suprise Janis: what's new??? Grace: ugh I know okay Grace: she came over today to get her tattoo touched up like that's a sorry NO BITCH Grace: so then all the other girls HAD TO 🙄🙄🙄 obvs Grace: but like?? I didn't want to so Grace: Like excuse you it hurts every time & you're being THE WORST Janis: she wants you to suffer Janis: again, shocker Grace: this date needs to happen even though EWW Grace: thank god he's not gonna be at this party Janis: not slumming it Grace: IKR 🙄🙄 Grace: like this girl doesn't live in a really nice house Grace: & is really pretty Grace: UGH Janis: what a bitch Janis: 🙄 Grace: you're still coming on the date, yeah? Grace: even though barista boy is ex barista now Janis: Weren't in it for the iced coffees Janis: yeah, said I would Grace: what even happened? Grace: you weren't but he was better than that other boy the CG has Janis: 💔 Janis: glad to know news doesn't travel that fast Grace: OMG are you really not gonna tell me??! Janis: so you can be the first to know Janis: oddly enough, no, I ain't Grace: UGH Grace: I hate you Grace: fine 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: exactly Janis: so why would i tell you literally anything Grace: Whatever Grace: I'm over it Janis: 👍 for you babes Grace: hopefully won't see you later, babes Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: so convincing Janis: well done Grace: thanks Grace: I'd have given it my full attention but getting ready already has it sadly Janis: you need it Janis: I understand Janis: oh wait, no I don't Janis: right Grace: mhmm Janis: 😂 Grace: 🙄 Grace: stop talking to me Janis: why Janis: can't multitask Grace: I just told you no Grace: ugh Janis: 😂 Janis: it's all the hairspray Grace: why do you have to be such a bitch? Grace: your boyfriend is literally there, annoy him Janis: funny Janis: and don't worry 'bout him, I can multitask Grace: 👍 for you babes Grace: sure he loves that about you Janis: amongst other things Janis: no doubt Grace: EW Grace: you don't wanna tell me anything but you HAD to say that Janis: alright now it's not you being OTT you don't wanna know Janis: this is how it is, bitch, stop Grace: I don't wanna hear all your humble brags Grace: excuse me Janis: I ain't tryna be humble so don't worry Grace: obvs Grace: so hush Grace: I'm over giving you this much credit Janis: don't need you to Janis: he's right here, like you said 😘 Grace: I haven't been defending you to him, duh Grace: just everyone else Janis: again, no need Janis: literally do not and have never cared what your mates reckon Grace: again, obvs Janis: not like any of them were there Janis: weirdly Grace: I know Grace: like you said, nobody's talking about that Grace: neither was I Janis: just how much you all hate me as standard Janis: cool Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: yeah that's why I said I have to defend you 24 7 Grace: sure Grace: go away I'm too busy for your bitchery rn okay Janis: sounds like a you problem not a me Janis: full-time occupation with your own no doubt babes Grace: shut up Grace: sooo annoying Janis: not the one adding extra letters for emphasis here Grace: if you ever listened I wouldn't need to Janis: to what? Janis: you never saying anything Grace: I literally said, leave me alone Grace: ugh Grace: it's not like you wanna talk to me so just don't Janis: and I said no Janis: keep up Grace: um HELLO!? I can't Grace: I have a million other things to do Janis: like what Grace: oh sure I'm gonna waste my time telling you them all Grace: I don't need to give you more things to make fun of me about thanks Janis: something we can agree on Grace: hilarious hun Janis: bit tragic Janis: if we're being honest, hun Grace: well since when are we? Janis: I don't lie Janis: just you Grace: sure Jan Janis: I'd say try me but you'd have to be real for at least as long as it takes to ask a question and you're incapable Grace: why would I want to? Grace: so get over it Janis: why would you wanna be real Janis: no idea Janis: probably 'cos you're shite at this whole act Grace: why would I want to with YOU Grace: I don't so I'm not Janis: Acting like you ain't begged now Janis: 👌 Grace: UM excuse you Grace: I have not Grace: don't flatter yourself babes Grace: 👌 Janis: 😂 Janis: you know your lies don't work here, like Janis: if anywhere Grace: Literally could care less what you think works for me Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Oh babes Janis: if you cared anymore you'd implode Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: you wish, honey Janis: nah Janis: not that bitch Janis: not that bothered Grace: then stop trying to keep a convo going Grace: get a life Janis: 💔 Janis: middle school insults still alive and well Janis: that's cute Grace: Like I've said numerous times, you're not getting my best Janis: Like we all know, this is it Janis: but go off saving it for that someone special Janis: love that for you Grace: oh please Janis: begging ain't gonna help, I told you Grace: if you think that's begging you need the help Janis: if you think you don't reek of desperation, the reality check is long overdue Grace: what I think is none of your business so Janis: you think? Janis: babes! so proud 💕 Grace: literally kill me Janis: would but you know Janis: funerals are expensive Janis: give us another year I reckon Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: saving cos your got your man fired, love that Grace: v romantic Janis: bitch i ain't paying for you Janis: put you out with the bin if it was down to me Grace: so glad nothing's up to you Janis: so glad you're not my burden Grace: likewise bitch Grace: 💕💕💕 Janis: oh I'm not today? Janis: how nice for you Grace: I meant I'm glad I'm not yours Grace: you're always mine Janis: 😂 Janis: so predictable Janis: any chance to be a whiny lil bitch Grace: so predictable Grace: any chance to be a HUGE bitch for no reason Grace: 🙄 Janis: no reason Janis: i know you looking at it right now in the mirror Grace: I know I've literally done NOTHING to you Grace: except ask how you are, HOW DARE I, like Grace: but sure Janis: Sure Janis: just existing is enough, you know that's how it is so don't play the victim when you set the rules Grace: whatever Grace: I can't do this with you all night if I'm setting rules Grace: fun as it is 💋 Janis: You ain't Grace: typo or?? Grace: cos you literally just said I did babe Janis: you ain't doing it all night Janis: literally no stamina Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: 🤡 Grace: 💔 Janis: thank god Grace: if you wanna break hearts do your bfs Grace: way easier & more fun Janis: what would you know about that Janis: come on now Grace: obvs nothing Grace: go with that Grace: then I don't have to talk to you Janis: you admitted it Janis: or have you blocked out your changing room trauma Janis: probably owe that poor girl therapy Grace: I said I haven't had a boyfriend, it doesn't mean I haven't ever hurt a lad Grace: like I said, it's easy Grace: you don't even have to mean to Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: ooh Janis: bad bitch coming thru Janis: where's your mug with the affirmation on so we really buy it Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: & you wonder why I'm never honest with you Janis: Who's wondering Janis: pointing out fact ain't asking you to Grace: just go away Janis: no Grace: if you're really this bored you need a new boyfriend Janis: if you're really this incapable of ignoring me you need to assess your life Grace: obvs Grace: I'll add to my to-do list Janis: what is actually wrong with you grace Janis: serious Janis: work it out, keep us posted Grace: I've already told you, why should I go into it with you? Grace: you don't care Grace: I don't need to give you the ammunition Janis: nice to put a name to a problem Janis: lay it to rest Janis: don't be selfish Grace: I'm not your problem Grace: make up your own if you're that fussed Janis: sadly untrue Janis: i got theories Janis: not a professional, 'less you're paying but let's help it ain't that dire Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: Dad said he'd take us so you two can take him up on it if you like Grace: I don't need to Janis: getting the uber black is it Grace: no Grace: can't you hear them leaving? they are loud enough Janis: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: really Grace: IKR Grace: learn to walk in heels Grace: embarrassing at this point Janis: what are you doing Grace: the same thing I've been trying to do this entire convo Grace: duh Janis: you're not ready Grace: obvs not Grace: some of us take longer than your 10 mins babe Janis: jesus Grace: he's not gonna be v helpful with my hair Grace: his is natural Janis: how is that you're so slow you've pissed off the most annoying girls in the world Janis: sort it out Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: you think they're ready? so cute Grace: Mia clicked her fingers so they left Grace: she has 💔boy drama💔 she needs to scheme to solve Grace: can't do it alone, she'd have to have an independent thought, duh Janis: ha Janis: even worse Grace: if you say so Janis: you don't? Janis: love having such cunts for friends who'll drop you like a sack of shit, naturally Grace: love being able to concentrate Grace: & hear myself think Grace: & now I don't have to go to the party so Janis: why are you still perming your fucking pubes then Grace: EW Janis: seriously Grace: You are seriously GROSS Janis: grow up Grace: no Grace: See how annoying that is? Janis: you're teaching me? Janis: you started that lesson fresh out the womb don't be acting like this is revolutionary doll Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: here come the hieroglyphics Grace: I'm ignoring you now Grace: so boring Janis: 💔💔💔 Janis: how will I go on Janis: wonderbread doesn't think I'm interesting Grace: fine by me if you don't Janis: 😱😱😱 Grace: [doesn't reply cos ignoring] Janis: 💀💀💀 Janis: 👻👻👻 Grace: [still doesn't cos actually trying to get ready] Janis: Grace Janis: grace Janis: grace Janis: gracieeeeeeeeee Grace: OMG SHUT UP Janis: 😂 Grace: [goes back to ignoring] Janis: know you're checking these Janis: case it's one of your pals Janis: ain't though Janis: just me Janis: unlucky Grace: [still ignoring cos she is capable sometimes] Janis: 😭😭😭 Grace: [probably is crying knowing her so not gonna answer] Janis: the selfie you'll get gonna be so worth all this effort Janis: so many ❤s Grace: if it was for that, I would, thanks Grace: so supportive Janis: you said you ain't going Janis: no need to 🤡 to mope around your room Grace: I'm not going or moping Grace: not that it's your buisiness Janis: making another video doesn't count Janis: sad times Grace: I'm not doing that either Grace: but there's plenty of cat videos for you to watch, babes Grace: don't be too sad Janis: it's so hard though Janis: you get it Janis: you live with all Janis: that Grace: mhmm Janis: i'm over how mysterious you're tryna be now and my 10 minutes is up Janis: i hope someone cares 💕 Grace: It's not mysterious that it's none of your business what I do Grace: but I'm glad you're finally at my boredom level with this convo Grace: 👋 Janis: loving the convo Janis: you're such a natural you should really like Janis: sit in your room and film yourself talking to yourself Janis: that'd be so sick Janis: only half your comments will be asking when you're getting your tits out like Ri 👌 Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: leave me one babes I'll be so sure to get back to you Janis: must be so hard Janis: with your 14 followers and a comined IQ of 32 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: 💔 Grace: 💋 Janis: you wish Grace: not even Janis: 👌 Janis: God bless Grace: bye Janis: no Grace: awh you gonna talk to me all through the party? Grace: so cute Janis: ikr Janis: i'm adorable Grace: tell it to your boyfriend Grace: see if you can't make him believe it Janis: you know all your putdowns only work if you're deeply insecure? Janis: again, more of a you problem Janis: 😬 awkies Grace: it's not a putdown Grace: genuinely hoping you two go the distance Grace: I already said so Janis: 😂 Janis: ew Grace: 💕💕💕 Grace: hopefully you'll get stronger words from Mia when she finds you at the party Grace: she's really 💔 over that boy if not Janis: gotta have one to break it, kid Grace: a fake one works well enough for her purposes Grace: & it's fake 💔 Janis: you always chat as if everyone doesn't know Janis: you're the only ones tonguing her hole, love Grace: ew Grace: & you wish obvs Janis: wow Janis: back at it with the gay jokes Janis: hit all 3, well done Grace: excuse you for wanting me to be in love with her or something Janis: you are Janis: and it's like Janis: well Janis: casual battered wife, want me to get you a place in a hostel Grace: I told you, girls don't do it for me, sorry to burst that bubble for you Grace: nobody's more devastated than me, trust Janis: no shit Janis: no self-respecting dyke is touching your shit with a bargepole Janis: your issues make the boys uncomfortable imagine someone capable of empathy, christ Grace: 💔 Janis: you mentioned Janis: the nation mourns, kid Grace: sure Janis: toodle-oo Grace: 👋

[nothing-personal-my-dear]

Spartacus : Vengeance Rewatch - Episode 4: Empty Hands

Sex Scene: 2 (plus lots of slave entertainment sex)

“Cock”: 3

“Cunt”: 2

“Fucking Gaul”: none because Agron doesn’t have any lines.

Slow motion Face Punch: 1

Episode Name Dropped by: Ilithyia

Memorable Death:  Acer… obviously. He deserved so much better!

Favourite Line: “They shall learn a wounded animal may yet bear teeth.”

 - I was so damn worried they were gonna step on that frog.

- I love me some foggy forests.

- I don’t get why Mira keeps moving, like stay still woman, you are trying to hide.

- I remember when I first watched this I was so mad at Naevia for running and thought she was so freaking stupid, but like that girl was traumatized. It makes total sense that she ran, it’s classic PTSD (as someone with PTSD I totally understand this reaction). I think my main issues the first time was that I was getting used to this new actor and comparing her to the s1 actor.

-  IT WAS A HISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Seriously, the way that soldier took down Naevia is brutal, and I love it.

-  “I fucking hate running,”…….somehow this is the most Aussie thing they’ve ever said.

- Fuck I love Mira. She just full on jumps on the dude and knifes him. She’s like a jungle cat. Seriously, Mira, will you marry me?

-  I always feel so bad when the background rebels die, poor babies.

- I LOVE THAT THEY WANNA BURY HIM!!!!! That means so much, it’s respect and loyalty and honour. BUT SPARTY IS SUCH A DOUCHE (even though I understand that they don’t have time, but cmon)

- I get so bored with the Romans sometimes.

- I feel we were robbed of the religious aspects of the time. But maybe that’s just me, I love the whole wide world of Gods and Goddesses.

- Albinius is not subtle in his interest in Lucretia (to be fair, neither am I)

-  Glaber is SUCH A DICK TO HIS WIFE, OMG! .... And Ilithyia is so crushed.

-  I’m honestly a little surprised Nasir would say he needs a rest, because wouldn’t he want to be seen like a warrior. Especially in front of the Gladiators? But then again, he also completely diffused that tense situation, so maybe he’s a genius.

-  I am 1000% here for a Nasir, Mira, Naevia friendship. WHERE ARE THE FICS!?

-  I am so surprised Liscus is so quick to say Crixus is dead. I thought Gauls were super loyal and devoted.

-  Sparty don’t like people dissing his new bf.

- Holy shit, I cannot get over the utter disrespect of desecrating a corpse. I mean I know Sparty did it in the first ep of this season, and I think I was fine with that cos it was a Roman corpse. But this time, it’s a gladiator. I know, double standards, but I can’t help it.

-  Am I seeing things, or does Ashur also look offended/uncomfortable by the corpse defiling? Shit, am I agreeing with Ashur, noooooooo.

-   “Slave, true, but far from common”

-  I cringe every time Seppia speaks

- “The morning cock has better chance of crowing to such heights”

-  “Empty vessel, barren of life, and prophesy” – did Ilithyia really have to go the barren route.

-   I was so damn happy when Rhaskos was alive……. If only he’d stay that way forever.

-  It’s awkward how excited everyone is, but sucks to be them cos it aint Sparty.

- “I stand with you in this life, and the next” HOLY SHIT I DIDN’T KNOW ACER SAID THIS OMG! This is exactly what Naevia says to Crixus later on. WOW, these are such romantic words, makes me wonder if Acer had a thing for Crixus??? I’m here for it!!!

- Oenomaus and Crixus back together again!! Yay!

-   I really hate broken hearted Oenomaus. Let Crixus smile for a god damn minute would you!!

-  For a second I really though Liscus went mad and killed Naevia.

-  Every time there is a slow-mo fight, I get butterflies. I love this show, okay?!

-  Nasir being amazing. That is all.

-  You know what I find odd, even though Naevia is super traumatized I almost feel like all this fighting and death would be comforting in a way?? because she grew up in the ludus, she was around fighting every damn day, shouldn’t she not freak out and cry about a little battle?? Am I just being insensitive?

-   I am living for all this hissing!

-  Oh gods, seriously the slow-mo scream of Nasir is fucking awful. As in it’s tragically hilarious. He sounds so stupid, I hate it.

-  Mira and Nasir, I love them.

-   Omg, Nasir sounds like he’s saying goodbye. No baby.

- Seriously, the way Naevia walks up to Nasir all possessed like, I honestly thought she was going to kill him. It was freaky.

-   Ilithyia’s party dress is the most beautifully stunning thing I’ve ever seen.

- There is a LOT of boob sucking going on.

- Varinius is so waiting for the other shoe to drop.

-  Okay, I know Seppia and Seppius are brother and sister but when I first watched this I REALLY shipped them. And even now, I still kinda do. I know it’s all kinds of wrong, but the heart ships what the heart ships.

-  It seriously looked like one of those guards rushed up to make out with Acer….. I aint even mad about that.

-   “Cut the pig” … background actors are hilarious.

-   “Boy fought well”

-  I LOVE LISCUS SHOWING NASIR RESPECT!!! Even if it is kinda short lived.

- NEVER EVER MENTION VARRO TO SPARTY, EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-  I usually hate it when Sparty slaps his rebels (I will never be over how he slapped Agron) but in this case, I’m okay with it. Liscus talked about Varro, just …. You deserved it, man.

-  My little shipper heart wishes Sparty wanted Agron there was so Agron and Nasir could see each other again … my logical brain says Agron is the reinforcements they need. Sigh.

-  I love watching Fortis run, that man is so majestical.

-   All the other slaves look mad, Crixus looks confused.

-  A PENIS!! I always said I’d make a point to mention the penis’ because it’s so rare to see them, compared to the amount of boobs you get in EVERYTHING.

-  “We are politicians are we not”

-   I love how Albinius is just watching this dick measuring contest, giving no fucks at all.

-  Jackals, that’s a new insult. I love Jackals.

-  Okay I know I said Ilithyia’s dress was divine but so is Lucretia’s. wow damn.

-   I love Acer.

- Lucy Lawless acting is phenomenal. Every time she’s in eyesight of Crixus she holds her stomach. That is so beautifully done and makes the character all the more real.

-  Lucretia and Crixus scenes are so amazing.

-  OHMYGODS THE TONGUE CUTTING!

- I really love the Ilithyia and Albinius scenes, they have good back and forth.

-   Gods, the amount of fun they are all having at Acer’s expense. I could go on another rant about slavery but I think we all get the gist.

-  “You carry his child”… hilarious.

-  NASIR WANTING A GLADIATOR MARK IS SO FUCKING PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

- “Do not cry out”

-  Sparty actually looks upset at having to burn Nasir, but dude, it’s gonna save his life.

-  I don’t think anyone realises how strong Nasir is. He didn’t cry out when he was being burned. Have you been burnt? I have, it fucking hurts. Nasir wasn’t a gladiator, he wasn’t used to pain, he was a house slave, he was used to sex. He’s used to pleasure and discomfort, not brutal pain. And yet, he didn’t scream. That’s my baby!

-  I hate that Varinius is into Seppia, it’s kinda gross.

-  I do love that Seppia can’t cut Acer though, it really shows her youth and in that split second I actually like her as a character. She seems real for the very first time.

-   “Absent attempt to fuck your sister” HOLY SHIT I DIDN’T NOTICE THIS BEFORE, THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS.

- Hot damn, Ilithyia is so damn sexy. I mean sucks that Acer died and I liked him, but I NEED TO FAN MYSELF COS ILITHYIA IS HOT LIKE BURNING. Seriously, damn.

-  I kinda like a Lucretia and Albinius friendship, for a minute, then it all goes to hell.

- Wait, so Liscus never made it to Agron? But …. I’m confused now.

-  Seriously, these actors that play the entertainment slaves, like they are basically having sex, so do they hire pornstars??

-  Once again, still shipping the incest, but I can’t help it! gah!

-  Holy shit, Ilithyia and Varinius sex scene is hot as hell. Ilithyia makes the best faces when she has scenes like this.

-  All this talk of Crassus makes so much more sense now that I’ve seen s3

-  Poor Nasir being carted around like a sack of potatoes.

- “Fuck the Gods.”

-   I seriously hate the Romans, leave our poor gladiators alone and stop fucking up their corpses.

- How did Sparty hear them coming?

-   LISCUS! NO!

-  FUCK YOU ASHUR. FUCK YOU ASHUR. FUCK YOU ASHUR. FUCK YOU ASHUR. FUCK YOU ASHUR.

-  Wow damn, that pole, flipping over, thing, was amazing.

-  Sparty took on a Roman army, all on his own and he won.

-  I appreciate Marcus’ belief in his people, but he’s way too cocky.

-  “I am not a Roman. I will not fucking die this night”

-  I don’t get why Nasir was allowed to live, but Liscus wasn’t. I mean I know his wound was in the chest so it was serious ….. I’m just sick of all these Gladiators dying!

-  Sometimes Ilithyia needs to calm the fuck down

-  Ilithyia is so vicious. Who knew the ditz from the pilot would end up being one of the most amazing characters

-   Ilithyia/Lucretia kiss, how I have missed these.

-  “I long to see what dawn shall bring”

-  This show has the most beautiful scenery.

-  My warrior queen!

-    I love that Naevia has a tiny blade to protect herself and Nasir.

-   AGRON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look at that nerd smile. I love him so much.

- I love that Agron barely acknowledges Sparty and runs straight for Nasir.

- Donar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-  OMG this Nagron scene kills me. Nasir’s little smile, the way Agron’s whole face just melts and you can see the absolute LOVE in his eyes.

[myhiddeagenda]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hey

You: F, 21, Norway

You: Sup over?

Stranger: M

Stranger: 19

You: Apparently, I can't English

Stranger: 😂😂😂

You: How ya doing?

Stranger: I’m good, you?

You: Fairly cool

You: The temperature has finally started to get lower than 30* degreees

You: Thank lord

Stranger: Lmao, it’s pretty hot over here in Michigan

Stranger: Wyd

You: Fucking gross

You: Not much really

You: Bored, my friends ditched me

You: So here I am, passing time

Stranger: Ahhhhh, I just got out of football. I’m just laying down

You: ooh, football which is not soccer rofl

Stranger: Yes, American football

You: I've tried it once, it's shits and giggles till someone tackles you with their shoulder to your gut

Stranger: Try that six hours a day

You: No thanks. I'm ok with my decent amount of hockey

You: haha

Stranger: You wanna play truth or dare or something

You: Sure

You: Hit me up

Stranger: Truth or dare

You: Truth I guess

Stranger: You got a bf

Stranger: ?^

You: I'd like to say yes, but it's complicated

You: How do you even do a dare over Omegle?

Stranger: Idk, you just trust the other person does it I guess

You: I ain't devouring boogers

You: no thanks

Stranger: Lmao

You: How's your lovelife going?

You: You must have girls swooning after ya

Stranger: I mean, sex is fun

You: hahha, all of the testosterone

Stranger: It’s fun for the other person too

Stranger: Trust meeee

You: wooowzers, I ain't judging you

Stranger: Truth or dare

You: Truth

Stranger: When was the last time you’ve had some good sex

You: Shit, hard question

You: hmm

You: After "boyfriend" did the "what are we" talk, I honestly went out partying out of pure anger with a couple of dude friends

You: Of my friends cousin was having hard luck finding "fun" so I joined him home

You: Not proud of it, but it was damn good

Stranger: Be proud of it, you got some good sex

You: Guilt trips my conscious

You: Okay

You: Truth or dare

Stranger: Dare

You: Take the closest inanimate object

You: and take a comparing dickpic

You: send it to the first dude on snapchat lmao

Stranger: I’ll do the first two but I ain’t sending that to any dudes😂😂

You: hahahaha

Stranger: Damn, my dick is surprisingly big

You: Have to admit I haven't really played truth or dare before lmao

You: haha, what'd you compare it to?

Stranger: A pillow

You: pfffffffftttttttttttttttt

Stranger: Lmaooooo

You: Good on you 😂

You: Does your dick go in the vagina and out the mouth?

You: Sounded really long 😂

Stranger: I give her a good time, I don’t kill her😂

You: hahaha, I'm laughing so hard

You: So, what music do you like?

Stranger: All music

Stranger: Depends on my mood

Stranger: Truth or dare

You: Truuuth

Stranger: Hmmmmm

Stranger: What’re are you rn

You: What? What am I right now?

Stranger: Where*

You: A lonely, confused woman?

Stranger: Lmao, we’re both lonely. Twinning

You: Sadbois v_v

Stranger: I choose dare

You: hmm

You: If you have the number of the last person you slept them

You: Tell them you had a good time *winky winky*

Stranger: Ok😂😂

Stranger: You seem like a dope person, if only you didn’t live halfway across the world

You: Well damn, never gotten that compliment before

You: I am known of being the best wingman, so I guess I'm a bit dope

Stranger: Lmao, you could me my wingwoman

Stranger: Be

You: Like, it help being the ugly in the group!

Stranger: I bet you’re not ugly

You: I bet I was 😂

Stranger: You definitely have a better personality than all these fake girls I hook up with

You: Or at least in the latest situation, where this girl nonchalantly told my friend that he shouldn't be hanging with me 😂 And I just took my drink said have fun and left, I didn't even need to wing him, she caught the bait anyway

Stranger: Lmao, that’s me sometimes

Stranger: Truth or dare

You: I'm keeping it to truth really, I'm a bit unsettled with dare lmao

Stranger: You’ve dared me the craziest shit, I’ll dare you some low key shit

You: Oh boy 😂

Stranger: Dare?

You: Come at me, bro

You: Show me all you got

You: GGRRRRRRRR

Stranger: I dare you too...

Stranger: Hmmmmmm

Stranger: Take off all your clothes, go to the shower, and stand in it for thirty seconds under the coldest setting the water goes

You: hahaha, oh now

You: no*

You: That won't work here

You: The coldest isn't considered cold, it's like, lukewarm

You: I can stick my feet and hands in the freezer?

Stranger: No no no

Stranger: I may have a better one😂😂

You: Is lukewarm even a word... jees wat are engresh

Stranger: I dare you to grab do the same as said, except for the shower, and instead grab an ice cube and let it melt on your stomach for a minute😂😂

You: Youre talking to someone from Norway, I'mma do that shit with 4 cubes

Stranger: Bet

You: brb I guess

Stranger: Lmao, I’ll do it too

You: Wait, can I have it in a plastic bag?

You: Don't wanna have it spilling down my bed D:

Stranger: Nope, it’s gotta melt

You: man, fuck you

You: Fine, brb

Stranger: I just grabbed some ice cubes

Stranger: Alr, my clothes are off. You ready?

You: Jupp

You: I done it

You: And I take it back

You: It's suprisingly VERY cold 😂

Stranger: This is cold

Stranger: Shit mine is melting a little bit😂😂

You: Is it now I say shove it up your ass, son

You: 😂😂😂

Stranger: no😂😂😂

Stranger: Oh god, it’s falling towards my dick

You: I'm literally planking, that shit sliding nowhere

You: But I can bet my phone is gonna slide outta my hands and hit me in the collarbones

Stranger: Lmao, hold it tighter

Stranger: Damn, the water on the dick was t as bad as I thought it would be

Stranger: I took mine off

You: only 1 outta 4 has melted completely

Stranger: Your skin must be warm, damn

You: Not really, my doctor tend to say I got blue blood

You: But ought to think I'd be warmer

You: Taking long time to melt

Stranger: You should just take them off now

You: DARE IS A DARE! I whisper as I wipe it all away

You: What a wild ride really

You: 😂😂😂😂

Stranger: Lmao, I bet if we were together right now we’d have some better dares for each other

You: "Let's see who dies first" kinda dares really

You: "Yo catch" throws a fucking bag of nails and a hammer

Stranger: Lmao, idk about those kind of dares

You: I guess a dare ain't shit to me cause I'd do it anyway

You: Or well, I'm never downing 4 fireball shots under 1 minute

Stranger: I guarantee that if we were together rn we’d literally be racing to see which ice cube melts the fastest

You: It's important to learn from mistakes

You: hahaha, jupp

You: I would definately dare you to have you put it up your ass 😂

Stranger: If you did that then I would dare you to have it melt on your vagina😂😂

You: Guilty as charged, I've tried

Stranger: Really?!

You: It's just as bad as it sounds

You: Don't put it in the vagina

Stranger: Lmao, I dare you to put it on the vagina😂😂😂

You: Nope

You: Hell nah, sonny

You: I'm outta this game

You: 😂

Stranger: Damn, you’re dope

You: 😂😂😂😂

You: It's such an American expression, I find it kind of funny of you calling me it

Stranger: Dope is my thang. I’ll always be like “that sex was dope”

You: Yeah, it's equivalent to cool, rad, amazing etc I guess

Stranger: Yes it is

Stranger: I’m bored, you wanna get kinky?

You: Well, not-a-soccerboy

You: recommend some music

You: Nah, I ain't the kinky type

Stranger: Don’t you listen to Norwegian stuff though?

You: If you up to kinky, you rather skip me so I don't go waste your type honestly >_<

You: What do you mean with Norwegian stuff?

You: Most of them sing in English 😂

Stranger: Like, songs

Stranger: Ohhhhhh

Stranger: 😂

You: hmm, Breathe by SeeB is pretty cool

You: that song just finished playing

Stranger: Runaway by Kanye West

You: let's have a toast for the douche bags

Stranger: Best song

You: I remember being surprised when he released that song

You: Maybe one of the "not kanye" songs that are close to my heart

You: one of the few*

Stranger: Yo, I think I’m gonna take a nap before I have to go to football again, want my number so we can talk again?

You: Anonymity is a thrill for me, I rather not

You: I hope you enjoy your nap and prosper in football!

Stranger: Come onnnn, I wanna talk again

You: Nothing more, you better stick to that

Stranger: Ok

You: Snapchat? I don't do social media much

Stranger: Sure

You:  <<<

You: I'mma probably show up as 

You: Don't fret, I've got a vagina

Stranger: Ok

Stranger: I’ll add you

Stranger: Adios muchacho

You: l8ers

Stranger has disconnected.

[moralalee]

12/03/2020

So schools may be closing soon because of Corona. I understand why, but it’s such a terrible time for them to close. Everybody is getting assignments and dissertations and folios done. Hopefully we get extensions if the school does close. Hopefully this journal doesn’t turn into one of those apocalyptic diaries. Day 14283: We’ve run out of pasta.

Had a dream where it was the night of the ball. I was wearing my dress and standing on this pier. There we dolphins in the water and I jumped in to hug them and pet them. I could breathe underwater so I stayed for a while to hang out with them. After I came out, I was completely dry and went into the party. I needed a piss so when to the bathroom and my cunt face ex was there. For some reason, my dad had provided the towels for the party and cunt face was standing there like a dumbass not using them as if the fact they were provided by dad meant he wasn’t allowed. So I went “For fuck’s sake, just dry your hands already so I can get in.” He awkwardly did and rushed away. I don’t remember the rest of the dream.

Slept 9 hours last night and still felt exhausted. It majorly pissed me off.  Everyone seems to be in a shit mood today, I don’t blame them though.

First period was fine. I felt exhausted but ended up taking one for the team to read one of the parts in Antigone despite really not being in the mood. I just kind of zoned out while doing it. I was also part of the chorus, which turned to shambles because E talks too fast. A and I did our best to keep up while M was just doing his thing and not speaking in unison with us.

I really couldn’t be fucked with second period, so I skived to hang out with my best friend. She told me that R is having a birthday party and they asked if I wanted to come. I said yeah and asked if I could stay at hers after so my parents don’t get pissed if we’re smashed. She said I could. R left for his class and BF had to go to an appointment as B arrived so I was left with him. He was skiving class too. We sat and did BuzzFeed quizzes together and kept getting the same results, which freaked us out. We never realised how alike we are. And considering how many people hate B, I dunno if that can be seen as a positive.

At break, I confirmed the plans and BF told me that L hasn’t been invited, which neither of us were unhappy about. I told her I didn’t blame R for not inviting him. He’s a dick. We walked down an aisle with E and R and E told us that all the pasta was gone because it lasts longer than other foods. I was like “Come on, that’s ridiculous.” He showed us the shelves where the pasta normally is and they were barren with a sign which said that there was a limit of 5 per customer so other people could get the chance to buy some. I think that’s when the seriousness of the situation really hit. I already knew things were bad, but now people are stocking up in case they have to self isolate.

While walking back to school, I told BF about the play I’m writing. She kept getting distracted by R, but I wasn’t annoyed because I get it and I know she isn’t happy about it. We can’t control how we feel about people. Hopefully it passes soon.

When third period began, J yelled hi at me as I walked in. I was mega confused but said hi back. We don’t really talk. BF asked what that was about and I told her I didn’t know. We spend the period just chatting, then later on went to the bathroom so she could change to go to her apprenticeship. As she changed, I stood there reading all the Corona signs on the bathroom walls in an air hostess voice. She found it pretty funny and told me I should’ve been a voice actor, but I really couldn’t be because I can’t actually do voices. 

At lunch, not much happened. We just sat around doing nothing. BF had to leave early so it got pretty lonely.

In my study class, I worked on the play a bit but mainly procrastinated and texted BF. I told her I was still confused about J being so overly friendly. She told me it had confused her as well and I told her about how we had talked a bit on the trip but nothing had really changed so I didn’t get it. She suggested that maybe he had wanted to actually talk to me. That kinda made sense, but also if he did wanna talk he could’ve properly called me over so I had known. BF then said he’s probably just being friendly but we both have trust issues. I told her that was most likely the case, because we tend to expect people to have bad intentions. She reminded me that most of the time we are right though. Then I texted my mum to check if it was okay for me to go to R’s and she told me I was actually meant to babysit that day and she had forgotten about it. She asked if I wanted to cancel but I said if nobody else was available then it’s fine I just won’t go to the party. She said she’s gonna try to find someone to cover for me. We’ll just have to wait and see.

I’m still in study right now. I guess it’s time to actually get some work done. Peace ✌

[sehoglows-blog]

its not all shits and giggles (chp. one)

yg vs sm groupchat

milkbunsehuu: baek

chanchan: he’s not here rn, at work, but whats up boo?

milkbunsehuu: idk not much. like, jongin got me hard again.

chanchan: why is our name still called yg vs sm

chanchan changed the group name to sekai initiation

milkbunsehuu: yeol. yeol. yeol. stop calling him kai.

baekiepoo: im of work sluts. yeol get ur ass over here take me home.

milkbunsehuu: why is the bottom saying this and *off

chanchan: ur a bottom too sehunnie

baekiepoo: how do u know i dont switch

chanchan: LMAO NO

milkbunsehuu: right because, “y-yeol, fuck pleasepleaase let me come oh shit. oh fuckk” is SUCH a switch

baekiepoo: oh shiete

you heard tht?

milkbunsehuu: yeah bb, i fell asleep and when i woke up i needed to take a piss so i walked 2 the bathroom n heard that shit

chanchan: fuck

baekiepoo: you should’ve joined つ´Д`)つ

milkbunsehuu: uhm no. ew ion wanna see that mess

chanchan: we all know you like being wrecked bby

baekiepoo: wait

can i add someone?

he doesnt have many friends and he goes to our school!! please??

milkbunsehuu: who?

chanchan: sure

milkbunsehuu: i am so sure you saw me ask who

baekiepoo: yay!!!! its a guy named jongdae. he’s v nice and from China!!!

baekie added jongbae to the groupchat sekai initiation

jongbae: uh hi~

milkbunsehuu: hii

chanchan: dont be shy.

im chanyeol.

call me yeol.

thats sehun he has relationship problems with Jongin.

jongbae: i already know u guys. baek told me about you.

chanchan: do u know about sehun’s daily masturbation sessions infront of his roomie.

milkbunsehuu: HE’S ASLEEP ITS NOT REALLY IN FRONT OF HIM U DICK

jongbae: dont u think he heard?? i mean…

milkbunsehuu: that might be why

he hates me so much

fuck

baekiepoo: dumbass!!! dumbassss! u gotta apologize.

jongbae: what’s ur roommates name?

milkbunsehuu: yixing.

jongbae: omg!! ik hiM!! he’s so chill.

milkbunsehuu: he HATES me. like seriously. (T⌓T)

chanchan: not the emojis. pls no.

baekiepoo: u’d better get used to it.

jongbae: lemme talk 2 him.

_☙_

jongbae: yixing!! yixing!!

dinoxing: whats up?

jongbae: ik your roommate!!

dinoxing: oh ew. ew. ew. how??

jongbae: im in a chat with him!! he’s super nice.

dinoxing: oh? he keeps jacking his cock in front of me so like

jongbae: nooo!! NOO! WAIT FUCKING HELL WAIT HIM EXPLAIN!

_☙_

sekai initiation

jongbae: he knows

baekipoo: you’ve been found out kid! go run. get a room transferrr.

chanchan: add him!!! HURRY JONGDAE.

milkbunsehuu: NO YOU LITTLE SHIT DONT U DARE

jongbae added dinoxing to the chat

dinoxing: Sehun.

milkbunsehuu: IM SORRY.

dinoxing is typing...

chanchan: ur done for. me andw im gonna go pick up baekhyun.

baekhyun: u mean u havent been coming voer?

jongbae: voer

dinoxing: Okay so like, I know you have this huge ass crush on Jongin and shit and you know that he’s my friend and all, but you can’t keep on masturbating in front of me like that. Usually I wouldn’t have a problem with it but holy fuck you’re such a bottom that it’s a tiny bit of a turn-on and I don’t wanna get hard. So, can you go into our bathroom and beat off? That’s helpful. Oh, and, I haven’t told Jongin so ur lucky. (´・ω・｀)

jongbae: too much words~

dinoxing: not even that many

milkbunsehuu: uh thanks?? ill go to the bathroom to beat off?? just dont hate me.

dinoxing: why did you think i hated you?

milkbunsehuu: because you give me death stares and scowling and i hear u whispering about me.

to ur friends.

on the phone.

five times.

how many friends do u fucking have?

dinoxing: well there’s minseokie, there’s junmyeon, satansoo, and jongin, i didnt tell him tho.

milkbunsehuu: shit. whyyyyy??????

dinoxing: uhm. go fucking masturbate idk.

jongbae sent a gif <img src="http://i.imgur.com/lOwiVsp.gif"/>

dinoxing: u meme.

milkbunsehuu: why did u???

dinoxing: im adding them.

milkbunsehuu: dont bitch.

dinoxing: fineee. l8ter

milkbunsehuu: no never

im going home. keep the door open.

chanchan: are u saying u were texting during class? bad sehunnie.

milkbunsehuu: are you saying u were texting n driving??

chanchan: stfu im dRIVING SJDALGSJ FUCGHK

dinoxing: if he's dead i want his room

baekiepoo: so u fuck good i presume?

dinoxing: yes why i have a bf u homewrecker

baekiepoo: chanyeol + death + new roommate = me needing a new boyfriend to fuck

oh wait he's here ur lucky

(≧∇≦)/

_☙_

 Sehun walked into his dorm room with a sigh to see Yixing sitting on the couch watching a new episode of  some drama on TV. He didn’t really know what to say to Yixing because of the weird series of texts they just had, but he was at least glad class was over. He set down his books onto their kitchen counter and went into the fridge to look for something to snack on, like an apple, because he had dance class in an hour and he didn't want anything to really take over too much time. He settled on a small cheese dish and platter from Publix and as he was walking out, Yixing was staring at him, amused.

 “Sehun-ah. Come here.” Sehun stared at the black haired boy before walking over to him warily. "Bitch, walk quicker, I don't bite." Sehun wanted to retort but instead he walked over to the couch Yixing was sitting on, Yixing motioned for the boy to sit on his lap and Sehun hesitated. "Are you serious?" Yixing reached for his hand and latched onto to it, he pulled him down onto his lap and held him there. "Now kid, let's talk. Why do you like Jongin so much?" Sehun though for a moment, chuckling awkwardly as he messed around with his jacket string.

 "Well, for one, he's a spectacular dancer and, uhm, well he's really hot. Have you seen the kid? Jesus Christ he's so cute. And I may have saw him naked, he has a big dick, but that's not the whole important part, there's also the fact that he's actually really nice to me. T-the few times we talked, he was nice.”

 Yixing nodded his head, "So...you saw his dick?"

 Sehun stuttered and turned to look at him, "N-no, it's not like that. I mean, I walked in on him after dance practice because I needed my deodorant and I left it in there, and I'm really clumsy and stuff and I fell and when I looked up i could see inside the stall and I saw his...cock." Yixing nodded and checked his watch.

 "I have an idea, so you can like, talk to him better. I know you don't really talk because he always calls you, 'that weird kid in my dance class.'" Sehun's face fell, is that really how he felt about him? That one weird kid, okay that's great. Amazing, actually.

Sehun was hurt, he wouldn't admit it but Jongin's validation is really all that he cares about.

 "What's your idea?" Sehun asked, begging to Yixing to help him even after he obviously bugged him with his "sessions" but he wasn't really begging Yixing himself. He just wanted Kai.

 "If you want to know all you gotta do is add my friends to the groupchat, minus Jongin." Sehun bit his lip, he didn't know his friends, but it really couldn't be that much harm, now could it?

 "Fine then, now what's your idea?" Yixing showed him his watch.

 "Get to dance practice, you might miss Jongin." He smirked as Sehun struggled to get off of his lap.

"I'll be back later!" And he ran out the door. Yixing laid back against the couch and sighed, he turned over and looked at the television sullenly before getting up to grab a snack.

_☙_

“Alright class, today we will be looking at our dances from last week and reviewing them! Now, you remember than you were separated into groups for your duo, so you won’t be reviewing your own dance, and it’s a group project!” The class broke out into whispers as the students contemplated the what group they wanted to be in, “Students! I’ll be choosing your groups.” The class groaned as their teacher reached into her bag, pulling out a sheet of paper with names on it.

 Sehun didn’t really pay attention until the teacher called Jongin’s name, and then his name followed, which made Sehun make a tiny whimper sound, Jongin scooted over to him and the teacher gave him a disk with what Sehun guessed was someone’s dance.

 “Also, students, you will be doing a whole project on this! So, yes, I want poster boards and a nice report on the dance itself, and techniques that could have been used to make it better! Now go discuss.”

 Sehun turned to look at Jongin, he was quickly tapping away on his phone before shutting it off and looking at Sehun. “Alright. Let’s get this over with.

_☙_

sekai initiation

dinoxing: can i add my friends now?

baekiepoo: did sehun say u could, i added yeol and he got upset

dinoxing: yeah dw. we talked about it.

chanchan: so u tried to get w/ my bby???? @dinoxing

dinoxing: no

chanchan: sure u did. i can scroll up…

baekiepoo: ur an idiot yeol did u even READ it

chanchan: … nvm im an idiot

dinoxing: ik

dinoxing added marshmallow™, mom, satansoo to the groupchat sekai initiation

marshmallow™: oh new people hihihihihi

satansoo: who the fuck

mom: sekai?? what’s a sekai??

dinoxing: sehun’s groupchat, idk where he is right now.

marshmallow™: the masturbating roommate? the one who masturbates to jongin?? who’s kai???

baekiepoo: oh thats my fault, see, i didnt know his name because sehun wouldnt tell us so i called him Kai. after that singer idk.

chanchan: ^^^

marshmallow™: and who are you people?

baekiepoo: bitch we could say the same to u whores we’re the originals. jongdae added yixing and thne BADBVAFM BAM!

milkbunsehuu: im gonna die

satansoo: not important right now masturbater

mom: soo dont be mean

okay hii! im junmyeon. im now ur mom.

satansoo: im kyungsoo. i hate you~

dinoxing: omg he used a ~

satansoo: i wanted to rhyme

dinoxing: bs ur cute admit it

mom: yixing dont harass him babe

chanchan: mooore couples!!

mom: yeah me and yixing are an item

baekiepoo: WAIT

JUNMYEON??

UR IN ME AND JONGDAE’S FUCKING MUSIC THEORY CLASS

jongbae: gasp shocker!

mom: oh yeah i dont talk much

marshmallow™: unless he’s drunk or lecturing. like at last weeks party

dinoxing: y weren’t u guys at jongin’s party?? he has one like every fucking week

baekiepoo: we’re unpopular we dont get invited

chanchan: ^^^

milkbunsehuu: ^^^

jongbae: yeah pretty much

satansoo: pathetic

milkbunsehuu: says the fucking egghead

satansoo: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT

milkbunsehuu: U’VE BEEN IN MY DORM

marshmallow™: i want intros from “the originals”

baekiepoo: im baekhyun im amazing i have a tight ass (not as nice as sehun’s tho) nice af legs and fabulous hair?? my bf’s yeol and he’s the best.

chanchan: im tall

im also a fucking yoda

i rap

milkbunsehuu: uhm

marshmalow™: we already know u yixing was telling us about u

dinoxing: sozzz

jongbae: hii im jongdae and i like candy!!!

santansoo: i like this one 4 minseok

marshmallow™: o ya im minseok and i like jongdae already!

milkbunsehuu: i got jongin’s number.

________

link to rest of story: click here

[norman-reedus-gossip-mod]

bulk

--mod-- you know the deal

Anon: anon people don' like her cos she cheated on 1st husband and cheated on JJ twice. She sneaked around with NR all year. She set him up last week. She told stories to the papers (this was proven actually if you look). She is rude to people and even stalked his ex girlfriends social media and liked posts to make him to be a liar. She lies herself and sets up pap shots for herself all the time. She is a fake and the reason she doesn't get much work is cos people dontlike working with her.

Anon: There is indeed a girl on twitter who says NR was with his girlfriend. Someone asked if he was alone and she answered "con su novia" (with his girlfriend).

Anon: Just my theory , norman's peeps wouldnt lie and def not sayingg " just friends" if norm knew he would dating her 2 weeks after they denied it , i think she is in love with norman and tries to get his attention as much as she can (and yes incl media) , norm know for sure she likes him so he might invited her AS A FRIEND to hangout in Spain or Barcelona (wherever they are)OR talk about stuff and thaangzzz , which i hope so he can make her mouth shut to call the media or her worthless attention. 😊

Anon: Mod what do you make of the pics with fans? Why would he take pics with fans if DK were right there? Maybe it's not even her. Maybe it was someone from the gallery. --mod-- I just assumed he was alone.

Anon: So you still think norman and diane are not dating? --mod-- Basically

Anon: sorry for English. I am so sad . Is he lie? How to trust anything from him? --mod-- Nothing's confirmed. Just suspicion and speculation

Anon: And i was about to say " i finally live happy in my Normie fantasy , hopefully that one person wont ruined it" , apparently i would say it too soon 😂 --mod-- So you're the jinx ehh anon

Anon: norman as a fuck buddy that is willing to travel to the other side of the ocean for sloppy seconds?! lol of course he denied...he doesnt have anything serious with her...what is he going to say now? oh this is my friend that i fuck now and again??like he comes like a major dishonest person regardless of their status. actually have nothing to do with that is the way he dealt with it. --mod-- Whys it gotta be sloppy tho.

Pinyah: This mean JDM agree with Norman and dk thing? --mod-- I couldn't guess

Anon: I personally didn't see the comment so maybe you can dig it up but someone on IG said the girl who took the picture of Norman and the unknown woman on his bike said it's his curator "Laurie". Again not sure if true because I didn't see her comment by myself. If she said it we could easily put the upcoming shitstorm to rest already. I sure hope it's right.

Anon: Yep Mod, look at normanreedustea. One of the girls who posted her pics with Norman was asked on Twitter if he was alone and she answered "con su novia" which means "with his gf". And why would she say this if it wasn't obvious it's his gf. Deeply disappointed and disgusted of him. No longer going to support him. Official lying is such a shame. Hope his reps and AMC are going to kick his ass for this debacle

Anon: Well ok I was in grammar school when HC(who can I just take a moment to say how cool and beautiful she is, goals people) and N were a thing, but I I highly doubt this is the same thing. Tbh up until Sky came out, I thought January Jones and DK were the same person lol All jokes aside, if this were his gf, or shit someone he bangs on the reg, wouldn't he I dunno see her more than occasionally hanging out? Like if I remember correctly didn't his child bride (CS) used to visit in GA? lmao. Mod?

Anon: To the anon that says DK stalks his exes, is this true? Cause that's a lifetime movie in the making I can totally get behind. Where's PRwife when we need her? She seems to know her shit.

Anon: I don't know who NR and DK think they're fooling at this point 😂 does anyone still believe they're not a couple?! --mod-- Me

Anon: 



Wow, a lot of people think Norman "owes" his fans the truth about his romantic life. He really, really doesn't. If you want to think he's a liar because his rep said he & DK are friends, OK. But maybe think about, if he did lie, are there reasons he might, including possibly the way fans react? Why would he put DK through that if they aren't even sure themselves if they're a couple? There are lots of reasons that he might "lie" that don't have anything to do with disrespecting fans.


Anon:

Hi mod, i just came to say goodbye and thank you for this blog <3 i think i'm done with the dk thing and i need a break from this blogs and stuff. I'm sad not because he's with her, but because he denied the rumors and, even if they are just friend (which i don't believe), he's not taking care of his reputation right now. At least he could stay away from her a pair of weeks of something, to shut the rumors, but he didn't. He deserves to be happy, i know, but i'm just done with him. Love you mod! --mod-- Well come by and say hi sometime I'll be here



Anon: 

I find it funny that Norman's people had that video removed. Shows how much we can trust him and his people.


--mod-- Who said he had his people remove it. You do realize that it had something on it the was supposed to be a surprise feature in the show right

Anon:

I don't get all the hate. He's a grown man and can be together with whom he wants. I don't like DK, but it's his private business. And he doesn't have to render an account of his private life. And if he says to the public that they aren't together to have at least some kind of privacy, that's totally fine bye me.





Anon:



Maybe I was wrong, maybe it's DK that has a magic 🐱, cause it sounds like he's risking his reputation and career on her. I just think he needs to either come clean, or she can pull the stick out of her ass and say something. I still don't think they're in a serious rs, but regardless, it's kind of shady. I mean if I had a bf and he was going to basketball games with other women and walking around acting single, I'd cut his dick off and feed it to him lol



Anon:

I don't want to shit on anybody's parade but have you guys seen the the accounts that has commented on the IG user's that posted those pic? Except maybe one or two EVERYONE shares the same things, saying the same things. It seems to be one person but with different accounts. This takes the credibility down a lot. Someone seems out to just spread gossip and ruin lives








Anon: 


Mod is it 100% confirmed that it's her? Maybe it's me but I don't think Norman would be taking selfies with Fans on the street while DK was standing beside him...?


--mod-- Nothing's been confirmed 



Anon: 


look, i always side eyed him for even being friends w her. having followed her career a bit before i even got in to TWD (after the QT movie), she just seems like a nasty piece of work, & I don't know what NR sees in her. that said, if he actually fucks someone on the DL, while getting his rep to officially deny even casually dating, then that would be as scummy a move as any desperate game she has played. possibly worse. i really hope NR is such a fucking lowlife 
and thats not to say NR can't fuck people casually, but to me, its one thing to have a fuck buddy or hook up w one nighters, its an entirely different thing to constantly have someone fly around to meet you, spend time together, fuck them on a very regular basis, and then deny that you even casually date. there is nothing wrong w saying "they go out but its not serious". its really gross to hide a woman, shuffle her around, fuck her, then say "we're just friend" while having her meet 2 fuck




Anon: Do people need their eyes checked those purses are not the same and neither are the boots go take a good look at them I swear as soon as people think it's DK they believe everything I'm giving norman the benefit of the doubt until I see her actual face

 
Anon: *Also to be fair, I can put on Twitter right now I saw Norman blowing dudes behind an Arby's, it doesn't make it true. Although he seems to be classier than Arby's, maybe In N Out?


--mod-- Dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣



Anon:

 DK posted a picture of her and Fabienne yesterday, and they were both at his Paris art show, so they're probably both just there supporting him for his Barcelona show



Anon:  Mod I have a theory: I think Norman has INVITED DK to the 2nd art show this time because of all the hate she was getting over the garage pics (even though it's obvious she *did* set them up) I think he's trying to show that he's still FRIENDS with her to the public. And maybe he thinks because he officially denied it that everything would be fine on his side. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. So he has to do something to clear the air AGAIN imo because this is only hurting him Anon: Ok, you can so tell that DK & NR are dating! N wants to keep it a low profile cuz he knows his fans tend to get a lil craycray and he feels bad for all the threats towards his gfs. Plus those pics from Spain... that's definitely her purse & shoes. Common. But honestly, N has gotta live his life and be happy; his true fans would support him. I may not like DK, and I doubt their relationship would last that long anyway 😂 ..but whatever. Don't let it bother ya'll too much. ✌🏻 Anon: 


Have to vent about ppl saying it's none of our business-True we have no say in what he does& he doesn't owe us explanation, but when we're spending our money buying into an image he puts forth on a regular basis & repeats in all his interviews only to find out that he isn't any of the things he claims to be, I think there's a right to be upset about who we thought we were supporting. It's not that he COULD be with someone, it's that he would have lied about it after preaching honesty. :( 





normanreedusdaryldixon32 :


I just want to say over the DK thing. 
I’ve been a fan of Norman since the boondock saints and now. I always supported him and I loved how cute, sweet, honest to his fans which he still is to his fans. In my opinion since he done the film ‘Sky’ he has changed. He says that he hates “dishonest people” but his acting like one. I do believe he deserves a woman who loves, respects, cares, supports him now matter what. But DK is not that type a girl as we all know. I hate the fact he lied to his fan or whatever. I also don’t understand 'if’ they are “friends” what kind of friend goes over to Spain to see them It doesn’t make any sense to me. I think Norman should get his head out of his ass and just think for once. Like a said before I do believe he deserve a woman that loves, cares, respects, ect. But DK is disrespectful, rude, mean, treats her fans like shit. I don’t want Norman turning into that person. Maybe he won’t turn into that person. But I just don’t get what does he see in her? DK must be so desperate. But now I’m so disappointed in you Norman. 😔





Anon: 


mod I saw on ig that norman's make up artist says she was with him today? is that true? because why would he have been riding around with dk, met with the curator and gone to a make up artist all in a day? maybe it's not dk? 



Anon: 


DK's style, behavior, and interests "suddenly changed" since she's been gunning for NR. She's seeking to trap him and she's just about there. She's as manipulative and inauthentic as they come. Hope NR thinks it's worth it, that and all the money he's going to lose to this scheming woman. Now is when he needs a true friend to give it to him straight, but everyone is afraid tip-toeing around the glaring issue. 


normanreedusdaryldixon32 : 


This is not a question: Seeing Norman on that bike with DK makes me so angry. Let me explain why because I've been a fan of Norman since the boondock saints. I loved how cute and honest to his fans. But now since he done 'Sky' he has been very disappointing lately. He says he hates people are dishonest but he acting like one. But do believe he deserves a woman who truly loves him and not just for his work or fame. But Dk is not that kind of girl she's so dishonest ect. It's disappointing Norman 




Anon: 


To the ones grasping at straws saying he didn't lie, you're leaving out the part where the denial said JUST friends. JUST meaning ONLY friends as in no romance. They also denied a romantic trip which the implications of that are a romance. But they denied the trip thereby also denying a romance. Sorry guys. He lied. 


--mod-- Question, does having say a friend with benefits, not saying that's what's going on, considered romantic?


Anon: 


So mod I respect your opinin the most. What do you make of all of that stuff with the biker girl? Do you think it's DK? And if you do, then what do think of the denial? It's very confusing if he issued a denial only to be caught redhanded with her again two weeks later. I can't figure out what he would be thinking. I also saw some fanselfies he was taking which is odd if she were with him. What do you think? --mod-- I'll be perfectly honest. I really just don't care. It doesn't matter if it's her or it's not. I think the denial still stands, I'm mean I've travel half way around the world to visit a guy friend, and no we weren't playing flesh Tetris. But again I  super unbothered and don't really care who's beast he's smothering 

Anon: 
This guy is just an ass. He is letting DK play people and he doing it as well. People hate cheaters and liars. You have both right here. Surely you don't deny the dishonesty? 



Anon: 
Mod, did you find out who it was on the bike? Was it her? --mod-- Nope




Anon: 


I'm telling you folks, if that video was taken down it was because it was bought by Reedus' folks. What a damn fool he is to risk so much on such a classless woman. Do you believe it was purchased before gossip rags got to it?

 


Anon: 


I can't stop crying. It just changes everything about him. He's not the same guy. he was so special and down to earth to me and now he is no better than anyone else in showbiz. He sells fans an image for money and he doesn't care about any of us. not really or he wouldn't have lied. He tried to trick us into thinking he wasn't with her and even released a pr statement saying they were just friends? I am so depressed i can't stop crying 


--mod-- You shouldn't cry anon. Just because he's made a few mistakes and maybe has tried to hide something, doesn't change him completely, we all do shady things in life but that doesn't change us completely. Sure he may have lied and avoided telling the truth but that doesn't negate the time and effort he gives fans. But I do understand why you feel the way you do 


Anon: 


i'm sorry to be rude but this man is ignorant as hell playing this game and clearly he doesn't realize just how this is going to back fire. He's risking it all for a tramp. DK has what she wants, attention. She is sacrificing NR in the process and he's just stupid. Hate he is such a liar and now proven to have no character at all. He made a lot of professionals look like idiots. What an asshole. What's your position Mod? --mod-- I don't have one. I'm not bothered by it.




Anon: 


Norman is a huge disappointment. Not only is he a LIAR but also a COWARD & a SNEAK. Not to mention a CHEATER!!! I lost all respect for him. He just lost a long time fan. 




Anon: 


Mod I can't even watch TWD anymore bc I hate Norman for LYING to his fans & sneaking around like we wouldn't find out. He thinks we're all stupid & doesn't give a shit about us. He disrespects his fans therefore I cannot continue to be his fan bc I need to admire & look up to someone I spend time following on IG, watching his shows, spending money on his movies, photo ops, merchandise, etc. He doesn't respect his fans so I don't respect HIM anymore. I'm done. Goodbye Mod & the nice ladies here --mod-- Farewell Dear Anon until we meet again



Anon: 


Hey Mod, I was looking at the pics and I don't think it's the same shoes as DK. If you look at the ones in the NYC pic there don't seem to be a distinct heel. The chick on the bike, her shoes have a heel you can see. Also, that's not the same backpack she has in the NYC pic. DK has a purple backpack on. The purse is the only thing that's fishy imo. 




Anon: 


It doesn't prove anything mod but I just noticed that DK's knapsack in the NYC pics are purple. The girl on the bike has a black knapsack. 


Anon: 
I kind of hope after this if he isn't giving DK the hot beef injection, he's fucking someone, cause this is crazy. If i were him I'd be putting in everyone --mod-- 🤣🤣🤣🤣




Anon: 


Is traveling across the ocean to visit him a gf thing to do? Hell yeah. But its also a wealthy person with a freelance/travel heavy career thing to do. Are they dating. I don't know but its obvious they're friends. With all that hate she gets from being connected to him this visit is a surprising choice to make but she's older than me so I guess she gives less of a crap about what bullies think. That's something to look forward to! lol

Anon: NR's reps denied the kiss rumor and the weekend rumor. This is the only official comment. There was no one saying they'd see each other ever again. 
 rebellacycle: 
Hey mod been reading all the posts on here on dk and norm . Do you think she will be at the art show if so that will be interesting. 



Anon: 


It seemed like there were quite a few fans around NR posting on twitter. If they all saw DK with him I'm surprised literally no one recognized her. Isn't she considered a famous actress and supposedly even more than NR * Anon: 


I want to cry. I believed him. I believed his denial and defended him against everything. How could he just lie like that? I know I don't know him but I never thought he of all people would do something like that to his fans. If he's really with her, I can't be his fan anymore. I don't want to watch Ride or TWD now 



Anon: 


I've always wanted Caryl to happen. I don't nos because I don't won't the beautiful MMB to have those disgusting, lying Norman lips on hers. 




Anon:

 
Oh look in that video there are two blonde ladies in black jackets. How's that for a fucking coincidence lol 




Anon: 


i hope this whole thing don't affect TWD, which ratings are already low :( 



Anon: 


Mod are we sure it's not the curator with her hair up? She has a black leather looking coat on from the vid. I know the purse and the shoes are a little bit suspicious but the hair may be just tied back and you can't see it in the pic. 



Anon: 


Uh, the NYC garage pics didn't "just happen". Diane paid Daily Mail and TMZ and tipped them off, seemingly without NR's knowledge. The accompanying articles were filed with misinformation yet somehow they know about his place upstate? So its pretty clear she wants to go public with whatever they do or don't have. IF he's sneaking around with her, he's doing it for himself because he doesn't want to even publicly acknowledge it. She clearly wants him to. That makes me kinda sad for her. 



Anon: 


Hello Mod, thank you for all you do. I always see eye to eye with you and appreciate your level head. I have never commented, but I want to say that no matter what NR & DK "relationship " is, was, whatever, or if she's in Spain or not,when his opening roles around everyone please be prepared, don't be naive, she WILL be there, taking pics, with fb and her "posse". This is about publicity for herself. I am not passing judgment, just stating what I think will occur and why. Take Care Mod. 


[quonit-aceattorney]

3-3 Reaction

Rules:

Q = Me, Quonit.

BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging

I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.

Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.

Index

Q: Got to the next one. Funny name.

Q: Hey this is like the game over thing :0

Q: Didn't even start and I lost already

Q: What did I do wrong Gumshoe

Maya shut up

Q: The hell happened

Q: Crap how and why would anybody dress as me

Q: MAGGIE

YOU HAVE HORRIBLE LUCK

Q: Idea: killer was also phoney me

Q: Wow this place is fancy

GQ: MAGGEY TELL ME ABOUT THE DRAWIN

Q: The fancy place reset :0

OH MY GOD

This place is great

Q: Where the HELL did my magic rock go D:<

I don't see it in my inventory!!!

Q: Oh thank you locks for still appearing

I was very worried a bout it not being in my inventory

FUCK SO IT IS GONE

Q: ...to the park?

Q: Mr what is that red thing on your nose I think you should stop touching it

Q: Doves are usually grey too

Q: Apples are good. Let's talk about that. What is your favorite Apple phoenix? I myself like granny Smith's and pink ladies

Q: Iell I didn't get the old man to talk but it seems the newspaper I got landed Maya a job so

Q: Wow Maya is actually gone. Guess it is time to examine everything again

Q: Well it seems the detention center has reset so that is good

Whatever she isn't here

Office reset

Haha I should really be more upset when Maya leaves

Whatever she is fine

Q: Yay the police station reset!

Gummy!!!

Whatever godot is fun

Q: Of only somebody pointed out one of the many many differences between me and the phoney that trial

Q: Godot I give you passed on a lot of things and I like you but I really wanna know why you hate me

Q: Alright were going back to fancy restaurant

this part was great actually

BF: Hahaha

And then Maya was kidnapped by the effeminate restauranteur, the end

Q: oh hey the restaurant reset. Examine everything?

oh no there is a person here

hell other your head looks like it had been hurt :(

goodbye i guess

HI MAYA

Maya: So how do i look? Phoenix: ... Phoenix: I think you should quit being a spirit medium. yes

let's just take a break and eat food sounds like a plan

i duno if i even have that much on me

oh crap well i guess i am getting lunch

i don't have 50$ on me Gant can i have 50$ oh ya you're in prison/dead

Q: Maya eat my lunch

dammit maya stop taking my money

COME BACK HERE AND EAT YOUR FOOD

Eh maybe some other random person why enjoy it

Q: examine everything

the magmenta!!!

I missed it so much!!!

it's probably poison

Q: gonna take a break for around 40 minuets

Q: that took so much longer and it is partially my fault

Q: Also I did a stupid redraw of one of Zarla's drawings from like 2007 and it looks good but ack i redrew a thing she drew in 2007. Once i feel like it i'll send a picture

i think we may be done in the kietchen. We got some stuff and it may be important so something somewhere may have reset

hey the police department reset!

yesss gumshoe

present him stuff

Gumshoe is this poison

tell meee

wow that's a lot of money

have to go again

Q: finally back and i have muffins to munch on while I play

Q: i remember this music

this is matt's theme whatever

to the other rooms

hey the park reset

there is a motercycle here now

STOP SCREAMING

WHY ARE YOU YET

WHY IS HE RED

Hey he said crap woo another close to swearing word

why are there so many weird people in this trian

trial

Q: case

whatever the fuck

im also saying that dipshit isn't phoenix write

OH FUCK

how did nobody suspect anything about him???

and if they did, WHY DID NOBODY SAY ANYTHING?

OLD GUY phoeny me left and i am mad i didn't punch him while i could

Q: 

i think they were dressed alright enough

locks woo

i am so glad i have the magmenta back

Q: examine everything?

at least there aren't as many rooms

Q: got back to game and decided to see if i can break the locks

Q: i wiiiiin

Q: MIA

OH MY GOD

she is using her boobs to her advantage

i forgot her completly now

*forgive

MIA I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID I THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Q: Phoenix she is giving up her dignity for you thank her don't judge her

Q: time to move

wooo it reset

Q: iii wiiiin

noooo phoenix this guy can't be the killer

it's that moron red skinned phoenix impersonating asshole >:(

SHIT GODOT

NO

STOP

I AM WINNING GO AWAY

Q: i usually give you passed but not now GO AWAY

Q: that red dude might've put the winning tcken in her pocket when he ran off

i hate red guy

save music

GUMSHOE

Q: well judge, THAT GUY WAS A FAKE FROM HELL

aw he called me trusty

BF: Lol Tigre? XD

quonit-aceattorney

yes

we didn't learn his name yet

Q: but i am amusing that is his name now

BF: Ooooh sorry

Q: it is fine i don't think it was a big spoiler

BF: Yeah Hahaha, he’s not exactly subtle

Q: WHY DID NOBODY QUESTION HIM

he was probably too intimidating but really one person had to right?

"MY OCCUPATION IS DICK GUMSHOE"

BF: Lol think of this whole case as like...one of those old Saturday morning cartoon plots where the good guy gets a really really obvious double

Q: pffft

BF: Like the double has bolts sticking out of their neck and they constantly yell about how evil they are

Q: i can imagine this.

BF: And yet you still have that scene where they are standing side by side and all the good guys are like HOWEVER WILL WE TELL THEM APART

Which one is the real one how can we be suuuure

That’s basically what this case is, haha

Q:

hehe

stoooooop

Q: I wonder who in the end will get to use the ticketyQ: maggey didn't do it mr tigre didQ: HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE BLOODSTAIN JUDGE GUY.

I say this like it was obvious and makes sense to anybody in the game stupid spoiler i pretend is a headcanon keeps proving itself to be true

Q:

Phoenix: You don't need to be told! Just look at it! SHUT UP PHOENIX >:( THIS GAME WANTS ME TO BELIEVE A STUPID HEADCANON. whatever let's ignore that and get back to figuring out the bloodstain. sry godot

no there is other stuff

LIKE THAT TIGRE GUY

Q:

Phoenix: Is it possible that somebody could've put the bottle in her pocket? Me: YES Gumshoe: ya! Happens to me all of the time! Me: REALLY

well if i had my phoeny's profile i would but nope sorry godot no evidence yet

Q:

Everyone: :talking about old man guy throwing seeds: Godot: Hah! It was nothing. I caught every single one of them with my teeth! impressive. DO YOU HAVE EVIDENCE FOR THIS CLAIM???

Q: i mean empty bags can have meaning why not?Q: well the stuff inside the bag was empty

hey that worked!

nice im cool now

Q: no he didn't put his medication in, red guy didQ: BUT WOO i am winningQ: we all died a little bit inside

maggey he was doing what he was supposed to do and was relying on me to figure out what was wrong with it. he didn't do anything.

Q: old guy tell us your occupationQ: don't lie that she put something in it

IT'S 2019 IN THE GAME NOW YOU SHOULD GET USED TO IT

also wasn't he looking at a sports paper right he was listening to the radio right

Q:

Phoenix: Did she really put that in there?? Phoenix you know not to trust this guy he is wrong she didn't

Q: MR I DON'T THINK THIS COUNTS AS "WASTING". I MEAN HE DIED AFTER TAKING A SIP.

Q:

Phoenix: Congratulations. You have earned the title of Battiest Man To Grace A Courtroom. I love sarcastic phoenix

Q:

Phoenix: Anybody could've word that outfit! Even me! Judge: Mr.Wright please spare the court of any further mental anguish from that image hahahahaha

Q: the bow was blue but whatever. also that is still part of the outfit.

the bow was ORANGE

EDGEWORTH IS PURPLE AND THE BOW IS ORANGE NOT RED. I DON'T CARE IF THE GAME SAYS OTHERWISE IM RIGHT

Q:

Old guy: This is harassment! I mean what are you doing?

REALLY

Q: how about the apron? Like the godamn bloodstainQ: doing lots of stuff in game i should document it moreQ: coffee cupQ: it woooorked

LEFT HANDS AND RIGHT HANDS

ALWAYS LOOK OUT FOR THAT

IT IS A VERY COMMON THING IN THIS SERIES

now you have to sing. sing for us now.

who cars about your age dammit

respect the coffee kudo

the eye lense is TEAL NOT GREEN UGH THIS GAME CAN'T GET ITS COLORS RIGHT

Q: AND SOMEHOW POINTING THAT OUT GOT ME A WIN

and his ear whatever but i still win

Q: HE IS SINGING THE PIDGEON SONG AND EATING THE BIRDSEEDS WOOO I WINQ: back to investigation?

no? okay

Q: but godot finished his coffee! How can we continue now???Q: but he didn't knock over the vase? look at the photo he didn'tQ: your memory is completly unreliable

goooooddbyyyyyyeee

Q: think i can be done for nowQ: game because working is dumbQ: let's bring up that jerk again why not

RED GUY WHY DID YOU DO THAT

Q: Maya: Introduce me next time, Nick! I wanna meet Xin Eohp too!

no

Q: to the detention center

dammit

nvm then

hey gumshoe!

Q: don't be sad gumshoe there are still lots of people that love you and maggey will probably be fine with you againa fter this is overQ: dont lie to me gumshoe i can ee right through it

unless it's in court the locks don't work in court

i win

Q: Maya: I wanna try it!

Phoenix: Then buy a ticket! With your own money! See Phoenix is smart

Q: no im not going tot the park i don't wanna see him right now i wanna talk to gumshoeQ: 2019: The year of gumQ: SEE GODOT KNEW THAT THAT GUY WAS A FAKE AND HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO SEE HIM FOR THAT

GODOT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ANYBODY

Q: nniiiiice we can go visit his work nowQ: what do you mean the color of your coat looks more detective-y

also im still confused about if franz sent back the coat and kept the evidence or if gumshoe just got a new coat.

to blue screens because i don't wanan see red guy

wtf is with her

Q: I would say this isn't 2019 but i have no right to say that yet because i have never lived in 2019Q: at least she is letting me examine evidence

Trigre >:(

future from 2004 or future from 2019

Q:

Phoenix: Computers are only as smart as the humans who use and make them are ...you know nothing...

Q: im about done here

to the park

Q: the scooter is backQ: well he isnt here that is fine

oh hey that girl is here

is she threatening to kill him or

Q: great so tiger is also involved in not only impersonating me, but also killing glen, and this guy's money problem

to the office

gumshoe you just left go to your meeting

Q: well im headed to where i was going again

hi girl again

imma go touch the desk

Q: of course it's the same color as my suit he used it to pretend to be meQ: HI TIGRE

WHAT DO YOU WANT

Q: well at least i can talk to her now

no maya

Q: if you want coffee just ask godotQ: im to go look in other placesQ: see mr kudo is giving us information it's a ll good

Q:

Phoenix: maybe he's trying to avoid us?" It always feels that way when i try to find somebody in this game and they aren't there. None of them have ever been trying to avoid me but i guess if you think that that guy is trying to avoid you he is

hey maggey is back

Q: i have the cd~

Q: took a minute to fix the sound

why am i How-aceattourney

stupid tumblr

BF: TumbllllllrrrrrQ: oh ya the creepy womanQ: and she wont react to the profile so i guess im gonna leave now

wonder what is going on at this police station

Q: more game.

oh ya i was stuck

hmmm

go talk to people and investigate things

oh ya i still have gumshoe's lunchbox

Q: i know you're mad at him but pls

:shows paper badge: oh hey is that your badge WOW DOES MY BADGE REALLY LOOK THAT SHITTY

Q: ALSO DON'T BITE MY BADGE >:( AND IF IT LEAVES TEETH MARKS IT IS REAL.Q: dammit no new conversation topics

wonder if something else updated though

niiice the police department! I doubt that anything will be there though

how much does that guy at the desk get paid

GUMSHOE :D

oh damn that sounds bad. Wonder if it is from a specific somebody i hate or his girlfriend

Q: it's obvious what lady mayaQ: I was gonna ask what computer virus but asking what one is is dumb

though this did some out in 2004... nah still unacceptable. This is taking place in 2019.

GUMSHOE HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT ONE IS

it's 2019 guys get with the times

Q: so much of this game has already happened i feel so uncomfortable now that this is taking place in the future

OH THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF ME OKAY

still bad but

and not only that they're more scary when they are attacking the POLICE

i mean mr.godot is a highly specific example but sure if i was sick and sneezed on him he might get sick too

oh so they are using that specific example to make fun of me again har har so funny guys

Q: OH SO THE GUY MADE A VIRUS

WELL SCREW THE VITIM IM HAPPY HE DIED

he probably had a reason for it but i don't believe it

Q: ya that family sounds dumb we should arrest themQ: i am angry right now

more stupid last names

ya guess who im going to stand up to

IM BRAVE

IM STRONG

I THINK IM PRETTY ACCOMPLISHED

I'VE RUINED SOME PRETTY EVIL PEOPLE'S LIVES

IF THESE GUYS ARE EVIL I WILL TAKE THEM ON

IF THEY AREN'T EVIL I WILL TAKE THEM ON

I AM NOT SCARED TO MAKE BOLD CLAIMS LIKE THIS

Q: oh uhhhh maggey still hates you and we had to eat them. Sorry dude... how about you go do something that will make you happyQ: eh if anything goes wrong and she doesn't eat them we can just threaten her with a gun. Always does the trick for me.Q: when did maggey leave whatQ: well i need to sleep now. Lost again but im lost at a different point

Q: "I'll stop spamming you now"

:opens Ace Attorney:

Just trying to get unstuck i don't think much will happen, only got 30 mins

lets see where am i

don't think i can get any locks but i don't think there is much harm in trying

can't break one lets look for another

Q: im still stuck imma go try againQ: found a thing in my inventory i think this is important

I love my magic rock

:00000 it worked

well ya your dad is the stupid c long name thing so of course that has to do with you

oh hey i broke a lock

from the looks of that cutscene that looks like mr tigre

one more lock

Q: I BROKE IT

WOOOO I AM UNSTUCK

Q: she crying :(Q: ugh no room is updating

i need to get the other locks i bet

Q: i win. That was easier than thoughtQ: why are we discarding so much stuff

:o a room reset

DAMMIT TIGRE GO AWAY

i swear if he tazes me

SO HE PUNCHED ME

I'm done with people assaulting me in some way and then taking my evidence

GUMSHOE

Q: GUMSHOE

SAAAAVE MEEEEE

thank you gumshoe

that improved my opinion of him greatly. There was nothing negitive but now there is more love to give

Did phoenix even every tell anybody about that time von karma tazed him and ran off with the letter

alright i need to sleep and there is a savepoint. yay! Also! GUMSHOE SAVED ME!

Q:

haha

at least he is dead and his daughter is better

alright i am sleeping now

Q: I can't sleep sadly

Not because I am too tired but for other reasons. I'll keep playing

MAGGEY do you think I can predict ANYTHING that will happen in a trial at all

I'm only play because of how Gumshoe saved my butt back there

Hey Gumshoe :D I am forever in your debt because of what you did back there

Q: Looks like we found the medicationQ: Oh ya I forgot about GodotQ: (He just called the judge a loser)Q: Oh so that guy will testify. One of the people who almost helped with the repeat of what happened with the letterQ: OH now I know he is covering up the existence of tigerQ: Phoenix your cover up swears suckQ: This game is so obsessed with left and right being contradictionsQ: How dare Godot say I shouldn't existQ: Playing a bunch not saying much though

I am Winning and godot is still making weird metaphors

Q: LOUD RUMBLEQ: I hope I can make tigre suffer

Save point. I think I can sleep now

Q: maya just because tigre is coming to the stand doesn't mean we are gonna win

gumshoe!!!

Q: well usually we have no idea what the trump card is

(fuckin letter)

Q: sense when have I lost a case?

Making matt guilty isn't loosing

making him fuck off was the true prize i won that

back to trial

Judge do not be intimidated. He's like 9 feed below you.

Q:

Tigre: WHO DA HELL CALLED ME TO DIS HOLE WAS IT YOU Phoenix: No it was the Judge Judge: :hides:

Q:

Godot: :makes Tigre shut up: Phoenix: T... Too cool... hahaha

Q:

Tigre: That lowlife ain't no lawyer! He just punches away at stupid details til he wins! i feel called out

okay so question: People hate 2-3 so much and one of the reasons  is Moe's testimony but there are SO MANY THINGS IN THIS 3RD GAME LIKE THAT

Q: not only that but this game is a lot more vague on "hey hey you were supposed to do this you are on the right track"

Q:

Godot: I hear it can be pretty hard to set up appointments when you're dead

BF: hahaha I think 3 tends to get forgiven most because the overall plot is VERY well constructed.  Also I think the alleged hate against 2 is overblown.  2-4 is such a beloved case after all

but you'll see what I mean about overall plot in a bit.

4 tries like HELL to do what 3 did, I think, but it gets tripped up a lot along the way.

(and yes 3 is hard. I'd say the only thing it does that's more forgiving that 2 is that IIRC, it doesn't penalize you for screwing up Magatama sessions.)

Last Friday at 11:31 PM

Q: ahhh alright. I'll be waiting for the 3 plot. Also it doesn't get mad at your for screwing up magatama sessions?? I have not noticed such a thing.Q: but he was there because 1 other people say he was and 2 why else would that guy tell him to go thereQ: problem with having so much evidence is that i can't remember what is what and what proves what or that it even existsQ: oh hey these matchesQ: HUH

wooo

wooo it worked

oh boy more things that are very close to swearing from him

Q: so many things wrong with this next testamony

WHICH ONE DOES THE GAME WANT ME TO DISPROVE

Q: heeeey it workedQ: I am winning :DQ: it's the tigre guy obviously >:( He impersinates a lot of people

phoenix hiding under his desk

Q: obviously it was that girl

internet not working dammit

WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOBODY COULD PULL OFF A STUNT LIKE THAT THERE HAVE BEEN WEIRDER THINGS

:Shows paper badge: Judge: It is an insult to think anybody could be fooled by that well then maybe you should reevaluate your life choices

guuuuumshoooooeeeee

where are you man

YESSSS GUMSHOE IS BACK

THANK YOU DUDE I WAS WAITING

GUMSHOE YOU ARE GREAT NEVER PUT YOURSELF DOWN YOU ARE VERY USEFUL AND WE ALL LOVE YOU

heeey maaaggggeeyyyyy can you cheer gumshoe up for me he's being sad

quonit-aceattorney

OH SO YOU KNOW HOW THE BOTTLE LOOKS DO YOU :)

WELL I WIN!

he yells

hahahahaha glowey mask thing hahahaha

oh fuck you stop throwing coffee at me

why do you hate me so much i am not a criminal

hey gumshoe i won!!!

maybe maggey can be happy now