#if i do play build ill just probably talk about it privately to a couple friends or sth

[cyberiada]

I think I'm going to almost fully step away from s/teamworld on this blog and focus on objectum stuff and my other interests. so I likely won't be posting about build here if I even play it. sorry

[theninjasanctuary]

The usual year in review post, just to have some documentation of what went down and how I felt about it. It is way too long, but on the upside, includes cat pictures.

This year:

I got a cat, by accident. Found an abandoned kitten by the side of a country road, where I would have preferred not to be at all (morning of a damp end-of-August Monday, the boyf needed all the help he could get with a sudden, ill-timed delivery of building materials, it was hard work), and not to be walking on (broken e-scooter). But as nobody else walks there (everyone is driving), I was that kitten's only chance, as he was too small and too scared to walk over to the nearest houses (noisy tractor in a field between him and said houses), and definitely too small to make it on his own, his only realistic options were ending up either as roadkill or a fox or hawk snack. It still upsets me just how small this chance was. With a working scooter, I would have just zipped past there and probably not heard him crying (he was doing short-interval distress meows, hiding in the roadside weeds, when he heard my footsteps - and came out and let me pick him up when I stopped and talked to him). And I would not have a hefty, beautiful, sweet and affectionate 6-month-old kitten napping on my sofa right now (and while I was writing this draft in the kitchen, he woke up and came asking for cuddles). It's been a ride, an expensive one, and a source of new worries and a lot of initial stress (he's never been spicy, but was inadvertently scratchy as fuck, always climbing up my legs; thankfully he is fine with getting his nails trimmed and has mostly stopped trying to climb people), and the unwanted responsibility still annoys me (he's quite attached to me, but I'll go on a week-long trip in a month, how will he manage?). He was fine when we were out seeing friends for New Year's Eve though (came home after 5 AM).

This is the first picture I took of him, texting it to the boyf who was a few minutes behind me with the caption "Alone and screaming". He had some fresh scratches on his face (I thought they'd have matched the paw of another kitten) and looked sad and worried for the first couple of weeks.

And here's one from October, he loves a chance to poke at my laptop.

It took me a while to accept the idea we might keep him. The boyf, surprisingly, was much more keen on this, despite being against the idea of pets before, and adores the furry critter even though it tends to focus its affections on me. I thought we'd have to give him away because my niblings who occasionally come around are allergic, but it has been manageable, and they love him and he apparently likes them and plays nicely. I have posted here earlier about being sad about not having a nice, huggable cat, and always had the idea I would get cats again at some point, said point being when I would be rich and living in mom's house out of town, by then fully renovated, which still feels unachieveable; and I had thought about tabbies being cute (even if first choice might still be a calico or tortie, like my childhood cat was). So here we are. No house, still mostly broke, but the huggable cat has materialized.

Obviously there were other things happening. I seem to have mostly got over the grief of last year by the end of this one. Possibly it got overshadowed by the awfulness of a full-scale fucking war happening in the region. Still, I remember just crying every night around last Christmas, and none of that is happening now, I somehow feel okay. I still felt distinctly awful and down this spring (with the context of said war being new and feeling scarier than it does now), but it's possible the grief part got overtaken with work and other private stresses over the summer (and then the stress of unexpected pet ownership). Life without Dad is not great, but it is better than life would have been if he was still alive but desperately unwell, and tbh it's a relief he's not seeing this war. I don't dwell on what ifs much. It has also been a relief that I am getting along with my mother better than I expected, she isn't wallowing and manages to keep herself active and entertained, and my little brother is helpful and constructive as always, so between us, we have managed to keep up with most of the things that need to be taken care of.

I struggled with work, this year may well have been the worst my lack of focus has EVER been, due to listed stressors above, but I still somehow managed to complete a relatively major thing, and did passably at lesser tasks. Currently not concerned about being fired, and about to get a pay rise, which is welcome, because cost of living has gone up and I've struggled to make ends meet this year, nvm saving. Not in the red by the end of the year, which is good, but basically no savings except a few hundred in cash and pension funds.

I started drinking coffee daily after more than 20 years. Most of you won't remember the amount of concerned messaging about osteoporosis that was around when I was in my teens (although I probably did all that damage and probably more with an eating disorder and Pepsi Max over the next few years). So, for most of my adult life, I had a few cups per year as a treat, even though it messed with my blood pressure due to having low caffeine tolerance (drinking green tea by the bucketloads doesn't really build that up). Upon getting an office job in 2018, I started drinking a cup most days I was there (due to stress and lack of sleep and needing to treat myself, but also because one of the several competing coffee stations in the building did, and still does, big mugs of good café au lait for a decent 1.30 € per cup). And I missed that office coffee sorely during Covid movement restrictions/working from home. So the boyf gave me a good coffee machine for last Christmas (Philips, LatteGo 5000something), which came with some free beans that were actually really good, so I've been repurchasing those most of the year. Trying to not ruin my sleep, I stick to 1, occasionally 2 per day, and it's a small cup and by far not the strongest settings, but am genuinely enjoying it. It's not helping me focus at all, but helps me feel more awake for a short while, I guess, as well as get chores done. A side effect was craving coffee on a work trip in the US and finding out how bad it was, it tastes burnt and in most cases is not nearly strong enough. Could not finish a small (meaning, twice the size of my usual cup at home) Starbucks cappuccino, just beige milk awfulness. Am mystified by their coffee obsession having witnessed what's on offer.

As for travelling, some work travel after what seems like ages: went to the US for the first time since Obama's second term, and enjoyed my first visit to the PNW (a nice hotel with a random upgrade to a massive room all by myself; plenty of good company, a road trip to the Olympic peninsula with a friend, it was great). I would consider going back there at some point, even though the US scares the f out of me, and I know there's a massive earthquake overdue.

As for travel on my own money, went to Paris only once - there were plans to see a live in February, but it was postponed to May due to Covid again, and that gave me an excuse to not deal with my birthday (I just didn't feel like doing a garden party without my Dad there). Memories of that trip seem vague in hindsight, and it was just a few days, but it was nice: pretty spring weather, quite warm in the end, but the greenery still fresh and blossoming. Instagram reminds me there were also Eric Kayser sandwiches, I saw an interesting museum I hadn't been to and overate on my birthday. Bought some skincare as usual, but not much else, I think. And in early September, did a day trip to Helsinki again after not having been there for several years, it was interesting to see how things had, or had not changed, also lovely weather, but it felt a bit odd particularly with the kitten waiting at home alone (he was fine; I know for a fact he's pretty non-neurotic, stable and self-confident as far as cats go, but I still worry about him missing us, etc.).

On the upside, the summer was nice, I think, although the heat was a bit much for a while and there was work stress, but I managed to enjoy gardening, etc., and some socializing. I did waste a lot of June on being unwell though, having picked up a bastard of a viral cold from the coast of the Pacific that became monstrous on my trip back from the US and gave me an incredible combo of eye and ear and throat infection, had to go to emergency care with my eyes swollen af and leaking globs of pus-like gunk, could barely speak for a bit and had hearing problems for weeks, and had to take 3 kinds of antibiotics (eye drops and pills) to get back to normal. So that was a whole ride. And on top of that, since the summer was kind of strenuous with lots of physical work involved, my knees could eventually not take it any longer and in October I had to go to emergency care for a second time when my right knee became swollen and I could barely walk. Pills fixed it fast, thankfully. I should get a more thorough checkup with an MRI, but it'll be a hassle. And to finish the shitty health year in style, got Covid for the second time in December (it was mild and I didn't even test positive, but a family member eventually did). The only upside is that between being stressed and sick, I ended up losing a noticeable amount of weight despite eating whatever the f I wanted, including disgraceful amounts of sugar.

As far as hobbies go, I kept at hunting for fantastic second-hand clothes and footwear, and finding joy in dressing well, as well as indulging my inner plant person; my orchids, old and new, all bloomed, and I kept buying more. Thankfully the cat only destroyed one of my plants, an already ailing adiantum raddianum, and appears to have lost interest in the rest. I have however barely watched any series, nvm films the entire year, which is something I should try to fix.

No dramatic promises for 2023, but eating better is something I'll try to put effort into. And ffs, driving school.

[thessaliadpdx]

Interlude: Field Marshal Zhuāngyuán Rallies the Troops. Chuntian Cao Gets the Girl. Master Yuanyuan, Ahem, Third Master Shen, Gets His Fourth Apartment.

Unbeknownst to Shen Yuan, he was the subject of much concern. Back at the Shen Family Estate, Da-ge smacked Er-ge upside the head. An embarrassment to the Shen Family name! Little Brother was raised better than that! Baba would have been disappointed! Mama would have cried! 

Er-ge drooped and nodded in agreement. “Yes, Da-ge. I’ll go over and apologize as soon as he will see me.”

The Brothers Shen worked themselves into a froth about their family’s Yuanyuan getting a roommate. They weren’t the only ones. The other residents of the Shen Family Estate were also deeply concerned. Upon hearing that Shen Yuan was to have a long-term houseguest, Steward Zhuangyuan fretted about Shen Yuan being deprived. Master Yuanyuan, ahem, Third Master Shen couldn’t possibly accommodate a long-term guest in his cramped, pokey little apartment! (Shen Real Estate Agent: “Pokey? It’s 360 square meters with four rooms!”) In Steward Zhuangyuan’s opinion, Master Yuanyuan only picked it because it had decent light. They should have rented another apartment in the same building and made it into a studio. 

Steward Zhuangyuan recollected the effort required to make for Master Yuanyuan’s, ahem, Third Master Shen’s current apartment passable. Only two years ago, it had been a struggle. The Shen Family employees had done their best, but the steward still felt it barely up to standard for a Shen. Thank goodness Master Yuanyuan was so biddable. Steward Zhangyuan remembered when the frighteningly tiny young master had first come home, barely larger than a grapefruit. He remembered all the hospital stays thereafter. Everyone did, and they worried about Master Yuanyuan so, counting the months until the next time. So far it had been two years, but everyone still held their breath.

Master Yuanyuan was the last reminder of the late Madam Shen, the artistic genius and gracious mistress. (Steward Zhuangyuan declined to remember all the times she screamed and threw oily paintbrushes at her husband’s head. He usually deserved it.) Master Yuanyuan, unlike his older brothers, was a gentleman, a scholar, and an artistic genius in his own right. (Steward Zhuangyuan also declined to remember all the times Master Yuanyuan screamed and threw ink brushes at his father and brothers when they denied him things they perceived as for his own good. They usually deserved it.)

At the very least The Young Master had needed a studio, a study, an office, a game room, a master bedroom and a guest bedroom for that questionable friend of his. (Shang Qinghua: “Hey! I’m a nice guy! I didn’t know he was sixteen when he read my book!”) Master Yuanyuan, as sweet and good-natured as ever, kindly suggested that he could tutor students in the dining room, and place bookshelves against the wall. He also suggested that the living room also be used for gaming, movies, and music. 

Upon hearing that, First Master Shen gleefully called the Chairman of Hangsong to send their latest TV, something experimental. Six people from Shen Construction marched into the apartment. Four reinforced the living room wall, added a wall mount, and installed a 250cm television. Two wired the room for the TV, added a home theater sound system from Onsuhi, and a GM6 with the lastest games, some of which were review copies. The two grinned at the other four. Testing was an essential part of installation, right? 

Auntie Chu had found the tiny 20-square-meter kitchen marginal, at best. The appliances were old and shabby. (If the refrigerator could talk: “Hey! I’m only two years old and I cost 6899 yuan! Rude!” The stove just cried, greatly aggrieved. uwuwuwuwu) Auntie Chu nodded her head firmly. She knew what to do. Meals would be delivered every day from the Shen Estate, and new appliances must be ordered.

First Master Shen gleefully did more research. He looked for something modest, and called Chufang Bangshou for a French-door refrigerator, complete with pull-out drawer for cold cuts and snacks, and a pull-out freezer. A steal for 23,000 yuan. Then he called Zhu Rong Stoves, and ordered the four-burner self-cleaning convection gas range with the 50,000 BTU wok burner. He also ordered a fume hood. A trifling 60,000 yuan.

The previous six people from Shen Construction carried in the refrigerator, stove, and hood. An additional seventh person went with to hook up the natural gas. The Head Chef certified in Medicinal Cuisine Auntie Chu lightly walked behind. Finally, several Shen Estate kitchen staff rolled in a couple coolers. Under Auntie Chu’s gimlet eye the Shen Construction workers carefully attached and installed the new refrigerator, fume hood, and stove. 

Auntie Chu pronounced herself satisfied, and waved at her assistants, who promptly opened coolers of prepped ingredients and set up additional burners. Under the famished, yearning gaze of the Shen Construction crew, they whipped up a banquet and laid it before the workers. It was like Lunar New Year and Great-Grandfather’s 100th birthday and the Grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary all at once. They would have to save a year for food this good, assuming there was a place that served it.

Auntie Chu said, “Testing is an important part of installation. Yes?”

Seven heads bobbed up and down like chickens.

Auntie Chu and her assistants left. The original six grinned at each other, then at the seventh. The TV, music, and gaming systems needed to be tested again. Testing, indeed, was an important part of installation.

The 8K 200Hz TV was a beast compared to what any of them had at home. The seventh looked around when they heard a glass shatter. Wow, just wow. 

This was probably going to be the last time they could play, and they all mourned silently.

Next was Auntie Wu. She inspected the apartment with white gloves, found dust, and sniffed at the substandard work. Filthy. (Housekeeping: “She wiped the back of the fridge! Unfair!”) The laundry service left a wrinkle in some sheets. (Laundry: “Hey! The main pressing iron is down! We did them all by hand and on time!”)

Auntie Wu decided that the Shen staff would dust daily, and launder everything at home. The conditions were abysmal. Master Yuanyuan was so brave. Her mouth wobbled. She’d never imagined he’d live this long. She’d been terrified that dust would cause him to have a bronchospasm and die. She had to call the ambulance so many times, even though a doctor and three nurses resided on the grounds.

Driver Siji had donned some old clothes, approached the car service manager and had asked for directions to S University. The manager said that he would have to use GPS. Driver Siji told Steward Zhuangyuan that the manager couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag. (Service Drivers: “Hey! He can’t find his way out of a paper bag! That’s why he doesn’t drive!”) He also found a footprint in one of the floormats. Lazy. (Driver: “Hey! I just went to pee!”)

Driver Siji had decided that they would have one of the Estate staff on site. There would have to be three, for twenty-four-hour coverage. Driver Siji remembered when he used to drive Young Master Yuanyuan to University at age ten. Master Yuanyuan was so tiny, a skinny little bird with thick, goggle-like glasses. Driver Siji had worried that he would trip and break a bone. 

Driver Siji had reported to Madam that The Youngest Master seemed exhausted, and suggested that it might be better for him to stay at home. The fiery Madam Shen said that The Youngest Master would attend University as long as he wished, until he said otherwise. Madam Shen then inquired if Driver Siji needed to be assigned elsewhere. Driver Siji wanted to kowtow in the face of such ferocity, but bowed deeply instead and apologized for his presumption. Appeased, Madam Shen accepted his apology and said he would resume his current duties, as he was the best driver they had. Grateful, Driver Siji wanted to walk backwards to the door, like in an Imperial drama.

#####

Head Gardener Huayuan had much better luck. Upon first inspection, the shrubbery was cheap and ill-shaped. No flowers brightened the neighborhood. Pretending to be a prospective student’s grandfather, he performed a little investigation of his own. Landscape Supervisor Xiang was a sensible person, a very good seedling. She had a master’s degree in horticulture from Q Agricultural University, first in her class. She picked this job to support her mother back home. After a while, the usually stand-offish childless widower said, “Call me Grandpa.” 

Xiang Hua’s mouth wobbled a little bit, because her grandfather died when she was young, and she missed him terribly. She discussed with the very knowledgeable Grandpa Huayuan the city’s push for water reduction. She also confessed her dream to see wild birds live where she worked. The kindly retiree understood the difficulty of maintaining such extensive grounds with such a tiny budget. Naturescaping was the perfect solution, and letting native plants grow wild created nesting sites and fed local insects, which in turn fed the birds. 

Such a wise and creative person must be encouraged. Grandpa Huayuan and Xiao Xiang discussed favorite flowers, and Xiao Xiang described her collection of orchids in her tiny apartment. Grandpa Huayuan described some of the orchids he’d seen in private collections. He’d even seen the gardens of the Shen Estate. Xiao Xiang sighed. She’d seen a feature article in a floriculture magazine.

A couple days later, the usual seven from Shen Construction had arrived to install bookshelves. The actual job only required three people at the very most, but they slunk off anyway. 

Incidentally, their supervisor reported the information to The Big Boss as ordered. Big Boss Shen had wanted updates on all work done on Third Master Shen’s apartment. Big Boss chuckled and waved his hand. They’re the best we’ve got, he said, and they all work hard. They deserve a little reward. Testing is a necessary part of installation, no?

The supervisor nodded.

Additionally, one of the junior gardeners rode along, holding a basket. He was to meet someone named Xiang Hua, the landscape supervisor. The delivery was of upmost importance. Head Gardener had told the junior that his mission was vital to the Shen Estate Gardens. He was to deliver the basket, and report back without delay. The junior had nodded so hard his chest wobbled. Upon finding Landscape Supervisor Xiang, he thrust the basket into her hands and scurried off. 

Xiang Hua, curious, opened the basket. Inside was a rare orchid she wouldn’t have been able to afford, assuming she could find one for sale. Next to it was an envelope. 

The letter read: 

“Xiao Xiang, I must apologize for my deception. I originally came to inspect the landscaping to see if the environs was worthy of our Third Master. I have not had such a lively conversation with a junior in a very long time. 

Someone with your gifts is wasted here, and should be working in an environment where you can learn and grow. Come and work for Grandpa Huayuan instead. 

Sincerely, 

Huayuan Yuan, Head Gardener, Shen Estate Gardens”

The letter named a salary that was twice what she currently made. It also mentioned that living quarters and meals were provided. Her mother would be able to live there if so desired.

Xiang Hua, a country girl raised on a poor family farm, started to cry. It was a dream come true. 

Chuntian Cao, the lead worker of her construction crew, noticed a young, tiny, pretty woman reading a letter and crying. Taller than most men at 180cm, she lumbered over to see if she could help. Chuntian Cao was a woman of fine tastes and knew a good thing when she saw the Meimei, or Little Sister, in distress. The wet, reddened eyes like a little white rabbit’s rendered Caocao helpless. The callused fingers dusty with a little dirt made Meimei even more of a catch. A hard worker with such pretty features would make for a perfect wife, especially for a plain fisherman’s daughter. She really wanted to give Meimei a hug and eat some tofu, but now was definitely not the time. 

She sidled closer to Meimei and silently offered a hug. “Hey there, Meimei. Why so sad? Some dumbass said goodbye?” She wrapped her arm around a lightly muscled shoulder. She looked down, and noted the delicacy of a collarbone. She dropped her voice. “Does Meimei need someone beaten up?” She rumbled. “I’m good at that.” She didn’t lie. At 90 kilos of muscle from pulling nets then hauling lumber, Chuntian Cao packed a deadly punch. She loved beating the shit out of people who deserved it. Unfortunately, the guys at Shen Construction were well-behaved. She went to bars instead.

Meimei plastered herself against Chuntian Cao in a hug and bawled. It was like an idol drama, only Chuntian Cao was the school grass, and Meimei was the school flower. She resisted eating the tofu, but it was really hard. Chuntian Cao waved at her crew and mouthed at them to go on up. They grinned at her and waved back. Xiao Hu, that fucker, made kissy faces. She wanted to gesture back, but her hands were occupied.

Meimei hiccuped, “I just got the best news in my life and I don’t know what to do!” She held out the letter with a trembling hand.

Chuntian Cao read it. “Old Man Gardener offered you a job? He told you to call him Grandpa? I’d never believed it if I hadn’t seen it!” She gave Meimei a squeeze. No eating the tofu, Caocao. Be good. 

Meimei snuggled up and held on tight. Caocao looked up to the heavens and breathed in deep. She sighed, and bit her lip. It was even better when the tofu ate you. She patted Meimei on the head. “Gonna come and work for us?”

“Mmm?” Meimei looked up, dazed.

“I’m with Shen Construction!” Chuntian Cao said proudly. “I’m the lead worker of my crew. Wanna come up and hang out with us? I’ll introduce ya!”

Meimei pressed close enough that the only way she could get closer was for Chuntian Cao to crack her chest open and spread her ribs wide. For such a sugar-sweet armful, Caocao would be perfectly willing to do so. Would Meimei top? Caocao sincerely hoped so.

“Okay,” Meimei said.

Meimei’s name was Xiang Hua, and she ate and gamed with the crew. The now-eight workers knew this was their last chance at testing the systems, so they were going to do their best. Beer, snacks, fried chicken and barbecue were the order of the day, and a merry time was had by all.

At the end of Caocao’s first date with Xiang Hua, Caocao got pushed down backwards on her own bed. Xiang Hua straddled her hips. Xiang Hua said that Caocao was the Meimei, and Meimeis did what their Jiejies, their Big Sisters, told them to.  

Caocao sighed with happiness. Fucking finally. She was so tired of being a Jiejie. Everyone assumed that a 180cm, 90 kilo, plain-faced girl wanted to be a Jiejie. Caocao had always insisted she wanted to be a spoiled little Meimei instead, but no one believed her.

They got married in the Shen Estate Gardens the following year. Mama Xiang teared with pride, then flew back home to the countryside. Caocao cried with relief that her mother-in-law wasn’t going to live with them. Huajie hummed with pleasure when she made her little Caomei apologize with desperation.

Caomei, with the help of a fertility clinic and amazing health benefits, bore two babies by her Huajie. Mama Xiang cried at being Grandma Xiang. Grandpa Yuan cried at being Great-Grandpa Yuan. The spoiled little Caomei had little ones to spoil in turn. She loved it.

Huajie, now Assistant Head Gardener Xiang, smiled with satisfaction--a tigress overlooking her tigress and their little tiger cubs.

#####

Steward Zhuangyuan gathered the senior staff, and cobbled together a plan of action. The apartment had been upgraded as best they could. The winning crew from Shen Construction had moved everything in. Auntie Wu’s staff had put it to rights. Auntie Chu’s staff had stocked the refrigerator, arranged the utensils, flatware, and glassware. They had made meal plans. 

Master Yuanyuan smashed all the plans to bits. Auntie Wu’s staff were only allowed over once a week. She cried into her handkerchief. Auntie Chu’s staff were only allowed to drop off pre-prepped meals for him to cook himself. And that was only every three days. She sniffled discreetly. Driver Siji was only allowed to send someone when called, and only when called. No hanging around the garage, “just in case.” Driver Siji wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

First Master and Second Master commiserated with Steward Zhuangyuan, but there was nothing they could do. The late Madam Shen had made it very clear to the two that Yuanyuan was to make his own decisions, and they were to butt out. Yuanyuan was smart enough to understand what he was and was not capable of, and they needed to respect his wishes. And that, was that.

Occasionally they forgot, but that was for another time.

Finally, the cherished but astonishingly unspoiled Master Yuanyuan moved in, quite pleased with his cozy abode. Only 360 square meters with four bedrooms! Nice furnishings, but not too grand! Having the latest electronics was okay. He was now a solid member of the middle class!

Shang Qinghua, good friend and sponge extraordinaire, hated to break it to his best friend that his “middle class apartment” was solidly in the upper five percent. Shen Yuan’s face fell. The personal services kicked him up to the upper one percent. Black lines filled Shen Yuan’s face.

Shen Yuan’s plan of having a place near the campus that wouldn’t terrify his students failed utterly. His more privileged students, ready to intimidate “Some guy named Shen Yuan my parents forced me to see,” were intimidated in turn by his exquisite manners and knowledge at such a young age. To the manor born, so to speak. After hearing from their parents that he was one of Those Shens, they meeped instead of roared. 

His underprivileged students, in awe at the surroundings, were even more in awe with this friendly Young Master. Their favorite professor in Classical Chinese had referred them, and they had worried they wouldn’t be good enough. Later, they felt honored to be tutored by the nicest rich person they had ever met, a true genius. He was obviously better off than the snooty rich kids at the university, but he didn’t act like it. He was so cool, he’d invite them to game when their session was over. He was even pretty enough to be the school flower of the entire campus! 

#####

That was then, but now Master Yuanyuan had a houseguest. Would Master Yuanyuan finally come home? Please say yes! 

Steward Zhuangyuan received a call, but it was not the call he wanted. Instead of returning to where he belonged, Master Yuanyuan was going to move into a villa instead. A villa! How horrid! 

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 13th, Friday 23:16

Jens stood in the doorway to his mother’s bedroom, as she was fixated on the screen of her laptop, sitting propped up against the backrest behind her. A thick blanket covered her, as she froze easily lately, always big wollen socks on her feat and a cozy cardigan within arms reach.

She looked up at him, the blue light in contrast to the warm orange tone of the lamp on her nightstand.

„Everything’s alright?“

Jens could just shake his head. 

They had eaten dinner and his mother had brought Lotte to bed, while Jens had chatted with Yasmina for an hour, going over the short presentation they had to prepare for french. And after all that was done, he had sat at his desk, feeling incredibly lonely, without any real reason.

His mother smiled at him, lifting the blanket on her right side, as she closed the laptop and put some loose papers with it away onto the nightstand.

Jens didn’t hesitate and quickly went to join her side, sliding down low enough that the blanket reached his chin, much to his mother’s enjoyment, as she laughed and ruffled his hair. He complained for the briefest moment, not saying another word when his mother began to carefully comb though it with her fingers.

„Lucas is a nice boy.“

Startled at his mother’s attentiv words, he looked up from his position, clearly not having expected her to have met him. Not that she didn’t know that a friend would sleep over, but his mom had only kept to her room for the whole day til the evening. Jens had only brought her late breakfast before he had seen Lucas out after second period.

„You two talked?“ He inquiered curious and very impatient for an answer, as his mother grinned at him. Almost letting him think that something must have happend.

„Well when you brought Lotte to school, I thought I may get some water and smoke in the kitchen. Lucas came downstairs not a minute later and found me, my freshly rolled joint in hand. He was a bit overwhelmed, I reckon.“ Yea Jens could definitely see that. „But he immidiately asked if I also wanted some tea and how could I decline his polite offer, so we both drank our tea and smoked a bit, while he told me about himself. That he was from the Netherlands and you helped him out on his first day. And that he is glad to have made one friend so quick, as with the corona regulations in place, he would have felt very isolated. I told him he was welcome any day, before I went back upstairs for work.“

His mother finished, leaving Jens quite surprised as Lucas hadn’t said a word to him about having had met her. Also they smoked weed together? In what kind of world did one’s...potential boyfriend?...smoke weed with one’s mother? Sure she did it for medical reasons, hence the really good stuff she had, nonetheless it didn’t change the absurd picture building inside his head. 

It was then that she seemed to remember something else.

„Oh right! He took a picture of me too, that was quite fun. He said he liked to take photographs for his account or something along those lines. He told me how to sit and everything. It was quite nice and you couldn’t really see how shit I looked, my hair even looked like it used to be, not so thin and flat. It felt quite nice. But what I just wanted to tell you is that I like him and I’m fine with you inviting him over whenever. And that I didn’t tell him about my illness.“

Jens wasn’t sure where to even start thinking, as the words and their meaning fromed in his mind. What photographs? What account? Also his mom specifically stated that she liked him...did she assume there was more and wanted to let Jens know she was fine with it? 

„You okay there, sweetheart?“ She asked him carefully, as he was basically frozen in his position beside her. So he nodded to give her some sort of indication that he had listened to her and then looked up again, meeting her smile.

„I didn’t know that he enjoyed to take photos. His insta is pretty sparse contentwise.“

„Well you learn something new every day, especially with new friends, huh? But I think he said it was private or something. Just for himself.“

Okay new goal, get Lucas to show him his work. He was so curious to see, how the dutch boy saw the world around him. And if he had taken any pictures of Jens. That was probably the most important thing to figure out.

„Also thank you for not telling him. But you could have, if you wanted to. I don’t try to purposely hide you from my friends.“ His mother gave him a look, one that only could only mean she saw straight through his little lie. It was Jens who had told her mid lockdown in spring, that he wanted to have til the end of the year, if possible, to be allowed to keep living a halfway normal live as a teenager. Just get some more normalitiy with his friends. He wanted to attend parties and hook up with girls, make stupid videos for their youtube and play videogames all day, without their pity or constant offer to help him out. 

He knew it was a lot to ask of her, but she had assured him that she was fine and that she could understand him and would try her best to do as much as long as possible. He still was sometimes overcome by a faint tug of guilt at his conciousness. Jens was selfish in that regard. It just got so much harder in the last couple of month, the balance shifting gradually to Jens taking over most tasks. The year also came to an end and with it the fear that he may not even be able to push his pending explanation of truth towards even january. 

Every week he just prayed for another one to follow after, to procrastinate till he grew old.

He knew very well that that wasn’t going to happen.

He just couldn’t quite accept that fact yet.

Jens lifted his head, shuffeling closer to his mother, lying his head onto her lap, as she continued to comb through his hair. She wasn’t talking.  She was just there in that moment. Existing, breathing, alive.

„I want to sleep here tonight.“ His voice was dropping into a whisper, a little ashamed to ask his mom at his age, but he only heard her chuckling quietly, a quick „of course, I’d love that very much“ followed by a kiss on the top of his head.

He couldn’t hold back the little smile on his lips, happy to have a bit more time with his mother, even if it would just be tonight. That was alright with him.

They both started moving, ready to find some sleep, as his mother turned of the lamp on her nightstand and slid down, the blanket pulled up high, mimicking her son.

Jens was so tired, physically but much more mentally, that he immidiately drifted off, his eyes closed as the room turned dark and the warmth wrapped around him.

He could feel his mother blowing a kiss to his forhead, like she had done when he was still her little boy. He didn’t know how much he had needed this, when the last thing he heard was his mother telling him goodnight. Maybe there was a quiet quiver in her voice, Maybe it was just his imagination. He would never tell any of his friends about this. It was close to embarrasing. But in this minute it meant the world to him.

„Sleep well my brave boy. I love you.“

__ __ __

tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

[shabre-legacy]

Chase to the Capitol -Stolen Home chapter 8

The last part of the trip to Coruscant passed quietly. Everyone was rather differential and even the crew and security didn’t really bother her. All her drinks were free, and her and Corso found that they got invited to games of Sabbac and whatever else was being played, or to go dancing or whatever anytime they appeared. She’d even gotten a message from some senator thanking her for saving the ambassador who’d put them in that situation to begin with. 

The passengers were nervous around them though. Corso brought it up when they once again took their drinks back to the room. Too many men approaching her ‘to dance’ practically drooling on the floor because they never stepped outside their tiny little circles and thought the criminal hero would be easy. Too many women approaching Corso. They made him uncomfortable, the man just wasn’t used to the attention and the socialites weren’t used to having a man who knew how to use his strength. The poor girls were both scared of them and very interested and that combination led to uncomfortable situations and overly pushy behavior. Between the two groups, both of them just wanted away from the situation. 

The ‘guests’ were grateful for being saved, and trying to show that, but her and Corso, they scared the passengers. They’d done what trained soldiers hadn’t been able to do, somehow word had gotten out that she’d killed that damn Sith, and without the uniform to suggest some kind of rule that she was bound to, her success made her a bit scary to the pampered socialites on this ship. They didn’t know her, they didn’t know what she wanted and they didn’t know exactly what she was planning or what she was really capable of and it frightened them. Noch’h ria nus’a, as Nuri would have said; amazement and interest and fear and curiosity, it was so very obnoxious. 

Finally though, they made it to the Coruscant spaceport and everyone went their own ways. At last, she could breathe without someone looking over her shoulder, or at least she’d be able to once she got through customs. Unfortunately, an T series security droid approached as soon as they stepped into the arrivals terminal. She stepped over to the customs terminal, hoping the droid wouldn’t notice. A few ill-planned smuggling runs had landed her on certain watch lists with the Republic and that meant every spaceport she entered under her own name ended up with a delay as she was searched and interrogated and there was never enough time to put up with that shit. Lucky for her, or unlucky for customs, she had a cover. 

She glanced at Corso as the droid rolled up and greeted her. Like a team that had been together longer than they had, he smoothly moved between her and the droid and started chatting with the it. She used the moment to slice the terminal. The droid accepted the input from the terminal and wandered off. As they moved towards the elevators, Corso leaned down and quietly whispered, with a hint of a laugh, “Admiral Numinn? Interesting choice.” 

She giggled and gently elbowed him, “nobody messes with an admiral, plus ya know, circumstance. Long story, better not told here.” Giggling, seriously, how long had it been since she’d done that. This was really getting out of hand, the sooner she could get him his blaster and drop him off again the better. Plus Tika would hate having another person aboard, perfect excuse. 

He smiled down at her, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Point taken.” They reached the elevator and caught sight of the scenery out the massive viewports. “Everything in Coruscant is huge. You see those city towers as we flew in? How many people you figure live in those? Millions?” 

Sometimes, she could forget how much of a farmboy he was, the mercenary took center stage. Other times, it was so damn obvious. It was a bit sad though, the state of Coruscant, almost ten years and some things still hadn’t been rebuilt. “Looks like some of those city towers are still short a few levels, thought they’d have fixed that since I was last here.” 

“You been here before, Captain?”

 again with the Captain. He wasn’t gonna stop anytime soon, kinda liked it though.  She shook her head, “another time” 

He shrugged and moved on, he seemed good at that, another question Leikael had about him. “...Even knocked the Jedi Temple off its pedestal.” 

And there it was, the comment always made about Coruscant and the war. “I know, my brother died there.”

That got a real pause from him. “That’s… That’s rough. I’m sorry for bringing it up Captain.” 

Taking a moment to breathe, she quickly waved him off. “I hadn’t seen him in like 7 years anyway. Let’s talk about something else like that banthashit who took my ship and my fracking Cat.”

Corso stared for a moment, “alright Captain, if you say so.” He took a breath, and she could see him shrugging aside the memories of his own loss. Her ability to read people had saved her life a few times, but now it was just obnoxious. “Wanna find Skavak before we’re too old to shoot straight? We’re gonna need local help.”

Help? She’d gotten help and it hadn’t worked. “We’ll just rattle some skulls until Skavak falls out.” Scumbag like that, he’d leave a big ass trail through the underworld. And that was a population she could work with, mostly, well, sometimes. 

“I know a faster way.” That sigh was one of resignation. Almost like his idea exhausted him. “There’s a gambler named Darmas Pollaran who keeps tabs on everything worth knowing about Coruscant. Friend of Viidu’s, good man. You’ll like him.”

Information broker. She’d worked with a few, not a bad resource if you could afford it. “Worth a visit, I guess. Where do I find this Darmas?” Let Corso run off and do whatever, she had no expectations of men anymore. 

“Well, Viidu always said if you look for a Sabbac table surrounded by beautiful women, you’ll find Darmas. But I can narrow that down. I still have Viidu’s holofrequency contacts. Give me a minute…” He pulled out a comm and started tapping at it. 

“Viidu had you keep his contacts?” 

He shrugged, “head of security and bodyguard. Traveled with the old man pretty much everywhere, had to keep the secure frequencies list in case his comm went down. Part of the job.” 

He held up the comm between them and it flickered to life, showing a slim middle aged man.  “Corso, is that you? It’s been too long, you rascal.” His tone implied familiarity, must have had more than a few conversations in the past. 

“A friend and I are on Coruscant and in a real bind. Is there a place we could meet you?”

This Darmas had one of those smooth voices, a slow soft drawl that made it sound like he was trying to charm everyone who could hear him. “Of course, come to my private cantina booth.” something about the game he was playing. Kael was really only half paying attention, she was mostly watching the customs agents standing aways off. She slipped closer to Corso, into the view of the Comm, hoping to look as though they were simply arranging a pickup. “Hope you don’t mind the occasional blaster fire; the cantina’s in a rowdy part of Coruscant.” 

“Sounds like my kind of place.” She could see the moment he saw her. If the holo were more detailed, he’d probably be glancing between her and Corso trying to figure them out. She’d keep him on his toes until she knew more about him. Or at least she’d try to. 

“I hope that’s only the first of many affinities we share.” Of course he was a flirt. She’d expected as much, but he was smooth. Could be fun. 

Corso interrupted before she could respond. “Keep your comm link open. I’ve got some bad news about Viidu.” He tucked the comm away and turned to look down at her. “I’ll bring Darmas up to speed while we travel. He’ll have the cantina coordinates sent by the time we find a Taxi, or shuttle rental or whatever they got for transport here.”

The customs agents were talking to that damn droid and looking at her. “Keep an eye out for that scum-sucker that stole my ship.” She quickly pulled Corso into the elevator and sent it to the main floor. She glanced over as it dropped a few levels and spoke low and careful. “Customs sniffing around, follow my lead.” She didn’t miss the slight shiver when she spoke. 

“You got it, Captain.” she didn’t even have a ship and he still called her captain. It was quickly becoming something she could get very used to.

As they stepped out of the elevator, Leikael leaned into him a bit, threading her arm through his. It was fine. She’d shared a bed with the man and he hadn’t done anything. It was fine and she could handle this. She kept her pace to  a mid speed saunter and started chattering about all the random facts about Coruscant. Trying to appear like a couple of tourists here for a holiday. Each customs agent, each soldier, each guard who passed by without stopping her was one closer to the entrance and making a clean getaway. 

As they finally reached the front of the spaceport and stepped out into the artificial sunlight of Corsucant, Corso stopped, just staring. Up ahead, the galactic senate building loomed tall over everything. All around them, filling in the horizon were hundreds of towers. It was an impressive sight, especially so on your first visit. Leikael grinned and dropped his arm, walking forward a bit. She let a bit of a skip into her step as she moved several steps in front of him. Spinning dramatically, she lifted her arms creating a frame for the view behind her. “Welcome to Coruscant, farmboy. The heart of the republic where half your dreams might come true.”  She spun around and made her way across the walkway towards the building in the middle, still a bit more bounce in her pace than normal. If her memory was correct, there was a public taxi running out of there. They were finally on track to catch the bastard. Now all she had to do was keep enough momentum and Skavak’s head would be hers.

[imaginesmai]

Tom Holland-Fluff Alphabet

Requested by two anons. Hope you like it! I actually lost your asks, deleted it before time, so I’m sorry. But I got your requests right!

Affection (PDA, how they are in private…)

In public, Tom has certain doubts about kissing you. He knows how the media can get when a famous is in a relationship, and knows that his fans can be aggressive. He doesn’t want any type of hate reaching you, so he decides to keep your relationship out of the public eye for the first month. It’s not a matter of being ashamed of you, and you’re sure of it when a very nervous Tom asks you if you want to meet his family. It’s just a matter of protection and care.

Once the press finds out about you, he’s still a shy guy. Sure, a few pictures on Instagram of you two doing silly things and stories of your daily life, but he doesn’t like to share his private life with the whole world. When you two take a walk, he will take your hand or kiss your cheek, but never make out with you in a public place.

In private, affection is Tom middle’s name. He won’t hesitate to show you how much he loves you every second of the day. Kissing your cheek when he’s passing by, helping you with anything without a second thought, touching you absentmindedly when you’re with friends… The ‘I love you’ are like your good morning; he says them when you wake up, before you go to bed, with a random note or a text, and every time he sees you. For him, the world spins around you, and he likes to let you know that.

Baby (do they want a family?)

Since the moment he met you, he knew he wanted to have something more with you. In the set of Avengers, or in any other set, he had seen a lot of people playing with their children, and admire from afar how they love each other. He can’t help imagine both of you with a small family of your own. Children with spiderman pyjamas, a house with a garden where Tessa and some other dogs could play, Sunday’s lunch with your families and the kids, holidays trips to exotic places.

Tom knows you’re too young for that, but he does bring it up sometimes. When you’re having lunch in a small restaurant and he sees a family. When you’re in the park and a little kid approach him. Even when you go to the cinema and he sees those special seats for the children.

However, if he could choose, he would probably have a family of dogs.

Cuddles (how and when)

That’s not a question. Tom Holland is always up for cuddles. In the bed, couch, cinema, after lunch, before bed, whenever you want. If you’re standing, he will gradually grab your hips and pull you closer. He puts his head your shoulder and nuzzle his nose on your neck, like a small cat. If you’re reading a book laying on the bed, he’ll put his head on your stomach while playing with his phone. Then, he crawls up little by little until you can’t see the book because his head is in between and the letters. His cute brown eyes looks up at you and he smiles, showing you the dimples of his cheeks. It doesn’t matter if what you’re reading is something important or not, he’ll be there, hugging you, until he falls sleep.

His favourite way to cuddle is on the couch. Tom will lay on the couch with you on his side, while a movie (probably spiderman, let’s be honest) stars playing and Tessa steps between you two. He likes to watch your eyes focusing on the movie or closing slowly. Actually, he likes to watch you when you’re not looking. You run your hand over Tessa’s fur and he plays with your hair. That’s probably what he calls heaven.

Dates (what are dates with him like?)

Time is something that, as an actor who travels a lot and has his family in another country, he values a lot. Tom can spend months in a different country, filming a movie or doing press tours with his cast mates.

He tries to travel home as often as he can. When he comes back, he likes quiet dates. Having you over and playing board games with his family is probably his favourite. He’s a huge family guy, so as soon as your relationship is solid enough, he presents you to his family and friends. If you’re not with them, then going out with his friends is also cool. However, he needs time alone with you too. Tom likes taking you out for a walk or for an ice cream, going to the cinema and then talk about the film in a bench of your favourite park. He wants you to feel as if you were a normal couple. Sometimes, that’s impossible because he has to stop to take a photo with a fan or to sign something. So expect that, every few weeks, Tom manages to sneak you around and plan a trip just for the two of you.

Dates also happen when you visit him. If he’s in New York or in another country, you will find an airplane ticket on your mailbox to where he’s staying. He loves that kind of dates. Tom will show you around the city while bouncing up and down in excitement; his favourite place to eat, where did he record the first scene, what place reminds him of you. All of that while talking about his cast mates. Then, he introduces you to them and it’s safe to say that you both freak out on the same level.

Entertainment (how do you spend your free time)

Tom can, and it’s a fact, look at you for an hour without getting bored. You can be doing anything; homework, house chores, reading or with your computer. If Tom is in the same room than you, he will lose focus on anything else and only see you. He puts on his in-love eyes, placing his head on his hand and forget about the scripts in front of him. You can talk to him, the phone can ring or the building could be on fire; he won’t stop staring at you.

His favourite thing to do with you in your free time it enjoy your company. He doesn’t need fancy restaurant or expensive dates, you can have the best time of your life playing ‘UNO’ on your bedroom and trying to avoid Tessa eating the cards.

Feelings (when did they know they loved you?)

Tom knew he was madly in love with you when he left to film Spiderman: Far From Home. It had been a stressful day; he had gotten coffee all over himself, it was cold, he didn’t know anyone and a terrible wave of homesickness had hit him since he had woken up. He had missed your face time, saying that he was too busy and would call you at night.

Even if he didn’t want to say it, the main problem was that one the crew had taken her dog to set, and Tom had thought about Tessa. The dog had bought happiness to his life, being away from her so much time was too hard. So he spent the whole day with a pout.

When he arrived to his hotel room late at night, he just wanted to curl up in bed and cry in peace, away from the paparazzi and his friends. Tom didn’t expect seeing you with Tessa in the lobby, trying to convince an angry woman that you were Tom’s girlfriend. Tessa was moving around anxiously, wanting to break free from the leash and run around that enormous place. You had only brought with you one backpack, that seemed really heavy from where Tom was staring at you.

Turned out, Jacob had called you and told you about Tom’s mood, so you had decided to pay him a quick visit to where they were filming. It didn’t matter that it took you more than what you earned in two months and a tiredness that weighted on your shoulder.

Tom didn’t have time to greet you, because as soon as Tessa saw him, she broke free and tackled him to the ground. As you hugged with a jumping dog around you, Tom mumbled for the first time the three words sentence, and realised that there was not a day on his life that he didn’t want to spend with you.

Gentle (kind or rough)

You can’t change my mind, Tom is the kindest dork on earth. Like, he’ll ask before doing anything, and I mean anything, with you. Holding your hand, kissing your cheek, wrapping his arms around your shoulder or wiping a hair out of your face.

In bed, he’s also kind. You have tried rough or had stuff sometimes, but it always ends up the same way; Tom fussing over you and panicking because he thinks he has hurt you. There is not an inch of roughness in that boy, seriously.

Holidays (favourite place)

Tom’s favourite place to spend the holidays is somewhere lost where he can enjoy time with his family and you. If both of you are free, he loves to take you to a small trip for a week, nothing too expensive but where you can have time alone away from everyone.

However, he prefers family vacations. Since the first summer that you had spent together as a couple, he had invited you to come with his family on holidays. His brothers love you, his parent do too, and you’re probably closer to Harry than Tom himself, because that boy is the definition of friendship. So, you don’t have any problem going with them.

Usually that kind of holidays mean stress for Tom. The good kind, though.

You team up with his brothers to prank him, and he can’t take a step without fearing that a spider might be somewhere. Throwing each other to the pool, drawing strange patterns with sunscreen on the others back. But if there is a thing that bothers Tom, is the privacy.

You two literally don’t have any of it. If he, by a chance, wants to get intimate with you, one of his brothers or his mother will open the door asking for something. Or they just wanted to see the TV. It’s just, your room is fresher that ours. Anyone, expect no sex while you’re on holidays.

Tom might complain about it and about his family stealing you away, but he doesn’t want it any other way.

Impression (first impression)

This is kind of a little imagine where Tom meets you for the first time.

Hospitals were, at the same time, the best and the worst part of his day. There was where Tom found his happiness, between the excited children who shouted when they saw him on his suit; but also, he found a deep sadness, when one of them had to leave the room because of his or her illness.

“Hey” Benedict appeared behind him and grabbed his shoulder. “Maybe you can take a break. You know, go to the cafeteria and grab something to eat.”

Tom was sitting on an empty table, too small for an adult. Still, he had been there for two hours. In front of him stood three different puzzles undone and a cute doll with a red dress. Her previous owner was then in surgery, her little heart giving her awful problems. He sighed and looked up to the man, who had a worried glint on his eyes. Maybe it would feel good, he thought. He had been there for hours, and a coffee actually sounded good.

“I guess” he mumbled, getting up. “I-I’m going to get something. Text or something if you know anything. About the girl.”

“Sure” he offered him a half smile. “Don’t worry, Tom. She’s gonna be fine.”

He answered with a small grunt and left the kids’ room. There weren’t much of them, because it was probably dinner time and because their energy had ran low after spending a whole day with the avengers.

They had appeared in the hospital as a surprise; Robert, both Chris, Benedict, Scarlett and him. The day had been going great until the girl who was playing with Tom and had been attached to his leg couldn’t breathe. Tom had panicked and called the doctor as soon as he noticed, yet when she arrived she was unconscious and he was holding her small body in his arms.

The ghost feeling of it made Tom take a turn and enter into one of the rooms for ‘only staff’. Inside, it was dark and humid, but it was perfect for him to hide for a few minutes. He was sure the press would be in the corridors waiting for him. The rest of the cast had already left, except Benedict and him, who wanted to wait until the little girl was fine again. And from the window, he had seen some reporters waiting for him to come out.

When the door closed behind him, he let out a shaking breath and the first tear rolled down his cheek. It was all so stressing. The social pressure, the influence he had over those children, the responsibilities, the fame. There were moment when everything seemed to big for him. It was one of those moments.

Tom sat on a small bed and hid his face between his hand, letting the tears roll down freely. It was silent for a while until he started sobbing.

“I can leave if you want.”

Probably, if someone had been recording that moment and had shown it to him later he would have died off embarrassment, because the high-pitched scream he produced sounded un natural. He jumped to the right a few inches, almost falling off the bed, and looked to his left. There, in a bed similar to the one he was sitting on, was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

And it wasn’t as if he saw much, because it was dark as hell.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you” you let out a little laugh. “I just thought I should make myself known before you saw me.”

“H-How long have you been there?” Tom asked, his eyes not leaving your face.

You weren’t wearing the ugly hospital uniform; beside that, to him you looked too young to be working there. You were sitting cross-legged with some leggings and a huge t-shirt with a weird drawing. If he wasn’t so scared about the pictures you could have taken of him crying or that you could be an stalker, he would have drooled because of your smile.

“Was here before you came” you shrugged. “I didn’t think anyone knew about this room, so I come here sometimes. When, you know, it gets hard outside.”

“Oh” he coughed awkwardly, looking at the floor. “I thought-I thought there wasn’t anyone in here.”

“Yeah, it’s not where you expect to find someone” you said. “I’m Y/N, and you?”

Tom looked up and found you in front of him. He could then see clearly the front of your t-shirt; the logo of a campaign who helped families and children in hospitals. At your question, he raised a brow. You seemed genuinely innocent; but he had met people like that before, fans that didn’t know where the privacy started. Still, he couldn’t resist the urge of touching you, even if it was just your stretched hand.

“Tom” he mumbled. “And, uh, what are you doing here?”

You sat beside him and told him how you were helping the families of those children; keeping them company, being positive for them, and how you needed a break from all of that and decided to step away for some hours. After listening to you, he felt kind of silly when he thought how he had cried over a little girl. Your ‘job’ (volunteering, you had said) was much harder than making two appearances each year in a local hospital, yet you comforted and smiled at him when he cried about his little friend.

“Rachel is a brilliant girl” you explained. “I met her four months ago. Did you know that she can spell ten words in a minute? And she’s only eight!”

He thought that, usually, people spoke about those children as if their illnesses defined them

Rachel is a good girl, she has blood cancer.

Bryan, cool kid, but he has a brain tumour.

It put a smile on his face that you spoke about Rachel with joy, and little by little he forgot about his previous sorrow. When he could finally break away from your beautiful eyes, he noticed that it was already dark on the sky.

“I should get going” he mumbled. “I have things to do-Not like I’m having a bad time, no, I’m-I’m glad you’re here. I mean, not glad, like glad. Just like I enjoy your company. But I have, you know stuff.”

Tom had reached the conclusion that you didn’t know who he was. You had been talking with him for hours and, still, hadn’t asked for a picture or a follow on Instagram. And probably you had understood him like no one else. Cutting short your ‘meeting’ wasn’t what he wanted to do, but he needed to go back or the car would leave without him.

“Oh, I’m sorry” you blushed. “I didn’t notice the time.”

“Yeah, me neither” suddenly, a light popped up in Tom’s mind. It was a crazy idea, one that, heard by any of his cast members, would be disapproved. If he hadn’t had enough troubles with the spoilers things, he was going to get in some more; he didn’t care. “Are you going to be around? Tonight, or tomorrow.”

“Yeah, my brother has to pick me up tomorrow morning. I’m spending the night here, Rachel’s parents might need help.”

“That’s nice” Tom smiled. “Do you think you can give me your number? To know about Rachel, I mean. I really want to know if she gets better. Just for that! And if you want, it’s totally okay if you don’t. Actually, it’s a little weird that-“

He started rambling and the blood rushed to his head until you could almost distinguish the soft red from the dark in the room. You placed a hand on his shaking one, making him stop talking and look at you.

“It’s fine by me” you said. “But I didn’t think famous actors should be doing that? Giving their personal number to the first stranger they met.”

“But you’re not the first-“ Tom shut himself in the middle of his sentence and looked at you with wide eyes. “You know who I am?”

“You’re wearing the spiderman suit!” you laughed “And I’ve seen the rest of the cast this morning.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” his voice was nothing more than a whisper.

“Well, I thought you needed someone to talk to” it was your turn to blush.

Tom thought you were the most adorable person, as you started talking about how you were a big fan but you understood that everyone needed to talk about their things too. As he gave you his number and received a kiss on the cheek, he left the room with a new happy smile.

Jealous (protective or overprotective)

Protectiveness is not his thing. He knows when someone is flirting with you, but trusts you enough to push them away and come back to him. If whoever is flirting with you doesn’t get the hint, it’s his time to step up; he’ll probably talk to him calmly and make him understand that you don’t want anything with them, because you’re happy with him. Words usually works and that’s the end of the discussion.

If he has to be jealous, he’s the puppy jealous. Yeah, that’s a thing, and probably he started it. It’s kind of similar to when you don’t acknowledge Tessa because she’s misbehaving; she’ll start whining, pouting and following you with her ears down. When Tom is jealous, he’ll look at you with sad eyes, follow you with his head down and answer with nods or shakes to your questions. Until you ask him what’s wrong; he tells you in a quiet voice and you hug him for a few minutes until he feels alright again.

Kisses

His favourite type of kisses are the lazy ones or the pecks.

Lazy kisses mean that you have enough time to enjoy each other company. Making out in the couch, cuddling in bed sharing kisses or slow love making in the morning. That’s the kind of thing he’s addicted to. When he arrives home late from filming, sure, he likes to kiss the hell out of you and trap you in bed for two days in a row. But he prefers calmer things.

Besides Tessa and too much cuteness, pecks are the other part of your relationship. Tom will steal them every chance he has. If you’re watching a film and you want to go to the bathroom, peck. When you’re waiting for him as he films and he gets two free minutes, peck. As he plays with his brothers and you pass by, peck. You have counted them before, and in a day he can easily give you over one hundred pecks. Not that there is anything to complain about.

Love (who says it first, how many times)

If he could say it every hour of the day, he would. He’s always thinking about those things you do for him, or just the small routines you have picked up from being together. So, not only Tom is the first one saying it, but also who says it the most.

There are more ways of saying I love you, not just with words. For example, if you have had a rough day, when you meet Tom he will have the cutest dinner prepared with your favourite movie. The first time he tried to do so went really bad, because he left Tessa in the apartment with him. He thought that she would help you to cheer up, but she ended up throwing the table where the food was and chewing the TV’s wires. You came home to Tom running behind Tessa in his boxers and with foam on his hair, as she carried the his towel. It doesn’t matter if things don’t go as planned, you know he tries and that’s more than enough.

Other way of saying I love you without words is spending 24 hours without sleep and taking a flight of five hours just to see you for five minutes. You don’t even have to tell him that you need him with you. If he notices something off in your voice, he’ll be there. If it’s your birthday or a special occasion, he’ll be there. And if he just miss you a lot, he’ll be there. You don’t spend more than a month without seeing each other.

When he stays for the night and has to leave early in the morning, he leaves thousands of notes with cute words in your toothbrush, the milk or in the door. Along the day, your conversation with him is the cheesiest thing in the world; lots of I love you, I miss you and adorable pictures of each other.

Memory (favourite memory together)

It’s simple but, without any doubt, his favourite. It happens a lot of times, and is his favourite moment of the day.

Tom’s head was about to explode. He felt a constant pain on the middle of his forehead, between his eyebrows, and on the back of his neck. He had tried pressing on the spots, putting something cold or hot, and even taking some tea. Still, it hadn’t gotten any better, and the reason behind it was in front of him; the damned script. For the past three hours, he had been trying to learn it, but it was already late at night and nothing had entered in his head.

Groaning in frustration, he looked up to the wall of your apartment. He had promised you a perfect night, but he wanted to end the scrip first. Not that it was happening any time soon. Suddenly, he felt a presence behind him and saw you standing on the doorway. You were wearing pyjama bottoms, too long for your legs, and one of the spiderman t-shirt he had gotten you in his last convention. Your hair was standing on every direction and it made his heart thrum inside his chest. You rubbed your eyes before walking towards him, yawning.

“Hey baby, what are you doing up?” he asked, voice gentle as he placed the script down. His body ached and he probably should had stood up and stretched, but you were coming his way and he would be damned if he moved an inch.

You sat on his lap gently, and Tom sneaked his arms around your waist to lock themselves around your body, like an automatic reaction. Your hand carded his hair, pushing the longer strands of his curly locks back from his forehead. Tom closed his eyes and hummed happily.

“Isn’t that what I should be asking you?” you gave him a sleepy smile, as one of his hands reached your arm and stroked its way down and up.

“Still got a few pages left” he grunted, and grabbed your small hand in his.

He bought it up to his lips and kissed it, letting you rest it against his cheek. A small and tired smile made its way to his face.

“You said that three hours ago” you pouted slightly through the sleep. “And promised to spend a night with me.”

“I know” he sighed. “But someone has been distracting me all night.”

He had been gone for two months, and just that week he had come back to you; so you had squeezed even the last second of his time, because you knew he would leave soon. Probably, in that week, you had ended with the Kamasutra; and still, you wanted him by your side that night.

“Please”

A puff of air hit your ear as he laughed, winding his arms around your waist to pull you closer, in a more reclining position before his hands went up your back, drawing lazy circles over your shirt. Tom pressed his face against your neck, leaving a small kiss in your pulse point that made a shiver run through your back. He held you safely as you pushed at him, trying to get away from his ticklish lips. Tom’s eyes found you as you tilted your head up from his shoulder so you could look him in the eye, narrowing your own at him as your mouth pursed.

“Come to bed with me” you said. “I don’t know how to sleep without you.”

“You’ve been sleeping without me two whole months, Y/N” he chuckled. “That excuse is not valid.”

“Yeah, and they have been shit, Tom” you sighed. “Please. I just got you with me this week.”

“Just a few more minutes, alright?”

“Alright.”

You bit back a smile, briefly considering dragging him by his ear to the bed yourself. But you were getting quite sleepy and comfortable on his lap, so you stuck a hand between the two of you and fisted his t-shirt softly. Tom pressed a silent kiss to your temple and went back to his script, the headache gone. It was silent after that as he went back to his previous task. Your eyes focused for a while on his hands and veins, the soft light of the lamp making his skin look more tanned. His soft breathing and the rhythm of his heart in your ear slowly lulled you, your eyes going droopy.

When you finally fell asleep against him, Tom felt the luckiest man in the world.

NO (something they won’t do in your relationship)

Pressuring you into anything. Tom knows that each person is different, and that everyone needs their time when doing things they are not familiar with. As an actor, as I said before, he has a difficult life. Is always away filming or doing press tours; and when he’s home, life is different. Because there are fans, photos and social media.

So Tom would never, never demand something to you. The effort you make when you face time him in the middle of the night (different times), long flights to see him or keeping up with his fame are enough for him.

If you need time to say the L word, he’ll wait whatever is necessary. If you need time to get intimate for the first time, he’ll comfort you with a small on his adorable face. If you need a little break from the media, he’ll gladly offer you to go somewhere private on holidays.

For him, you’re always the top one priority. Not job, not friends or hobbies. Tom feels like he’ll forever be grateful for you, and won’t, under any circumstances, force you to do anything you don’t want to. There are times where he might use his puppy face; to get your attention, ask you for help in something or just being cute around you. But he won’t use them to get something he knows you might not want.

Orange (favourite colour and why)

All the colours.

Green, because he thinks of that time where the two of you went away on a vacation and had the time of your life in a small cabin in the woods. You smiling up at him from the grass, the small picnic he prepared for you, making love in the room with the fantastic views.

Red, as it reminds him to the suit he bought to the premier. It wasn’t that special; what was special was seeing you that night in his jacket as you woke up from bed to drink water. Let’s just say, you stayed up for a little longer.

Blue; honestly, that’s his favourite colour since he was a kid. He loves seeing you in blue dresses, shirts or pants.

Pink, and that’s his little obsession. Every time he goes out, and he sees something pink, he thinks of a little girl. A little girl with his eyes and your nose, with your hair and his smile. He can’t help but associate the colour with the future with you.

Yellow. It’s not really yellow, more like the colour of the light, if that’s a thing. He liked to print into his memory your face in the morning, the light touching your cheeks and making your eyelashes longer.

Parents (how is their relationship with your parents)

One word: amazing.

The first time he met them, Tom was a stuttering mess. He offered your father a shaky hand and almost cried when he gripped it too hard. Your mother hugged him and the only idea that popped in his mind was to pat her back; which came out as really, really awkward. First meeting was, in general, chaotic. Tom had been so nervous that he couldn’t eat a thing without feeling as if he was going to puke, and his knee had been moving so much up and down that even your father had told him to stop.

Then, came the good part. Your dad asked him about his job, or studies, and he started talking about spiderman and Marvel. The ‘fan’ side of your family appeared, and they started talking about the comics and the films. Soon, the attention of the room was drawn to Tom and the awkwardness disappeared.

Since that moment, Tom is always inviting your family to the meetings. He presents his family to yours, prepares lunches for the both of them and tries to have the best relationship.

Quirks (worst habit they have)

Spoilers, we all know that. You can’t see a movie he’s in without knowing the end or something important before.

It doesn’t matter if he’s in the movie or not; as long as he has seen it, he will spoil it for you. He tries not to, because he knows that it annoys you. But he can’t help it, because the guy is too clueless to understand when he has to shup up.

Romantic (little details or non-verbal ways of saying I love you)

Take my jacket, it’s cold outside

He said it on your way to the supermarket. You had been on your period and, even if it was the middle of December and the coldest day of the year, you just needed a quick visit to the supermarket. Having Tom to go without you wasn’t an option, because last time he called you crying because he had gotten lost looking for your pads. And he didn’t want to let you go alone, so you were both walking while the cold bit your skins. Being the stubborn girl you were, you hadn’t brought your coat with you, just a stupid sweater. So he offered you his.

“Unless you don’t want it! That’s-That’s fine, I’m not forcing you into-“

You were about to protest, but were quickly shut when a particular hard gust of wind hit you, making you clatter your teeth. Tom gave you a soft smile and put the jacket over your shoulders. Making you stop in front of him, he buttoned it up and pulled it closer to your body. He left a kiss on the top of your head and continued walking.

I think you’re beautiful

Tom blurted it out when you were trying the dress for the premier of his film at his house, in his room. It felt all so familiar to him, that you standing there in all your glory with your purple dress made him want to drop on his knees to you.

It didn’t hit him until a few seconds later, because he was staring at like a child to his sweets. Your hair tied up, your legs showing and the beautiful necklace you had decided to wear, his gift from the past Christmas. Immediately, he blushed and opened his mouth, ready to do what he always did; stutter until you forgot about what he had said.

That time, he just smiled to you through the blush and told you that you really were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Have you eaten?

He had asked without thinking, just a natural reaction. People around you were running around, trying to get everything ready for the shot. It was Tom’s most important scene, and he was nervous as hell.

You had managed to get into the set and spend a few minutes with him; still, as you sit in his trailer, the first thing he does is checking you’re comfortable enough.

Sad (how does he cheer you up)

A text with a different emoji has him in your house within hours. Tom knows you like the back of his hands, and know when things are too hard for him. Maybe fans being rude, missing him too much, family problems or just wanting to be down for a while; the reason doesn’t matter, Tom knows how to cheer you up.

First, he’ll show in your house with Tessa, two bags full of food and some films that you might like. If he has time, he will bring you a stuffed animal; and let me tell you, he tries to always have time for that. Half of them are missing a part, because Tessa will eat it in the way to your apartment. Seeing Tom with a guilty face and half of a teddy in his arm is already good enough for you.

Then, he will let Tessa cuddle you while he prepares the living room. When he’s sad, he loves how Tessa fits between his arms and lick his face, so he gets her to do the same. The dog probably love you more than him, yet he denies it. While she makes you smile, he builds a pile of blankets and cushions on the floor to lay down; turn off the main lights and use only soft ones. Then, puts the move.

Finally, he’ll sit with you and hug you in his arms, whispering sweet things and everything he loves about you. The film is for back noise, because if there is something that cheers you anyone up is having Tom making slow love to you kissing and adoring each inch of your body.

Trickster (jokes, pranks…)

Jokes, pranks… are his thing, sure. As I’ve said before, he doesn’t have any problem in having prank wars with you. He never takes them too far, of course, because he would never harm you in any way. Tom will team up with his brothers against you; then, betray them and work with you to prank them, while you’re crossing him with Paddy and Sam.

Throwing popcorn at each other during movies and getting kicked out of the cinema, pushing each other to the water in the holidays, tickling him until he’s crying and, in return, having your feet ticked too. Tom and you area always messing with each other.

Underestimated (what surprised him the most about you?)

Probably that you’re not as obsessed as his fans. You know how to appreciate his work and the things he does, and know when the fame is too much for him and needs to feel like a normal person.

(I’m sorry this is short!)

Vaunt (how much do they show you off?)

Too.

Fucking.

Much.

That boy, that boy can’t stop talking about you. Sometimes, he’ll start talking and, when the person he’s talking to leave, he won’t even notice. He starts the conversation from nearly nothing. If someone says blue, he will start talking about how good you looked on the shirt you brought a month ago. If he smells cookies, he talks about how bad/good are you at cooking.

The worst thing are when you’re not with him. There are times where he has to be away from you for months. His castmates, usually the one who suffer him, have to endure his whining and puppy face whenever you finish the call you had with him or when he sees a picture of you.

Officially, you can say you have Tom Holland wrapped around your finger.

Wedding (do they want one and how they want it)

Tom wants to marry you and isn’t afraid of say it out loud. See that girl? Yeah, she’s gonna be my wife someday, man. After a year of dating, he had actually changed your name contact on his phone to ‘future wife’.

Also, he knows it has to be great. Sometimes he talks about that with you, late at night when you’re both in bed already. He wants something big; for example, a beach place. Yeah, he would like to marry in a beach, both of you in white with the sound of the waves behind you. In his mind, the most important part would be to represent your favourite movie; he doesn’t care how much it costs, how much he has to work.

For you, only the best.

XX (something you’re the only one to know)

That he has a spot, behind his right ear, that makes him crumbled into a fit of giggles and cute smiles. You discovered when you woke up one day and wanted him to pay attention to you. You ran your hands up and down his hair, as Tom hummed in happiness; when, without you noticing, your hand moved and you scratched his spot.

As soon as you did that, his legs kicked out of the bed and he curled into a ball, while giggling and scratching it himself hardly. You almost fell from your position, and looked at him with weird eyes.

Since that moment, you annoy him that way.

You (they talk about you)

“Dude, I’ve met this girl. I know I should have told you about her before but-damn, I didn’t even realise that the time flew by. She’s…I would actually call her perfection. Sweet, caring, nice and gorgeous. Most important, I don’t think I’ve ever feel this connected to anyone! She makes me laugh, happy and Tessa already loves her. I want her to meet the family, and to meet you, of course. But I don’t want to scare her away. I-I kind of see myself by her side for a long, long time Haz.”

Zzz (how do you sleep; probably include a visual)

Tom lays on his back, with your head resting on his chest. He had one hand making circles on your stomach or back, something to keep him distracted while you fall asleep. Because he likes to feel how your breathing becomes slow and how your face relax. His other hand is stretched, but as soon as you fall asleep, he always, always, run a finger through your cheek and just then he can fall asleep too.

Underneath the sheets, your feet are entangled, which leads to quiet curses when either of you want to go the bathroom. It might seem like a conventional way of sleeping, but both of you like it and Tom won’t change it.

Want to know more about me? Here is my Masterlist! Feedback is always appreciated!!

[lorei-writes]

Warlords & apathetic/depressed MC

Featuring: Masamune, Nobunaga, Ieyasu (in that order)

Notes: I chose “apathetic/depressed MC” for the title, as I think it varies between my hc for each character (in Masamune’s headcanons MC is rather just apathetic, while in Nobunaga’s she seems to be depressed). 

Masamune:

It started slowly, with less and less things filling his lover’s eyes with joy.

Initially, he thought she was just tired - after all, she was always pushing herself to work more. Yet, he changed his mind after her state didn’t improve in a couple of days.

Firstly, he tried to engage her in some rather exciting activities - he’d ride with her through the fields and show her the nearby villages and towns.

He suspected his lover might just miss her friends from Azuchi, yet when he asked her about that, she denied.

Finally, Masamune gave up on guessing games and decided to simply ask her during dinner, for which he prepared their favorite meals.

“ Lass, I need to know - what is wrong? You haven’t been acting like yourself recently. Is something bothering you?” “ No, everything is fine,” she answered, a blank smile on her face. “ Just tell me,” Masamune insisted eagerly. “ How do I... ,” she sighed. “ It’s not that I don’t want to. I just don’t know. I don’t even know when it started. I just... Everything seems pointless. No matter what I do, all I see are flaws. My sewing and my art seem joyless and empty. And those places you took me? They were beautiful and the food was tasty, but in the end, all I felt was numbness. I just want to sleep... Masamune, I don’t know how to fix that.” He moved closer to her and hugged her. “ This feels nice, though,” she admitted. “ We’ll figure it out together, kitten,” he promised.

Masamune would encourage her to keep trying. Although he couldn’t solve her problem by himself, he’d try to do his best - he’d remind her of how meaningful her art is, how people appreciate her sewing; he’d try to introduce some (more) novelty into their lives; he’d take her to the places they had felt most alive.

Masamune would definitely encourage to build a support network for herself - he’d encourage her to meet new people, to make friends and to maintain friendships.

Slowly, but surely, his lover would get better.

Nobunaga:

He started being concerned about his lover once she claimed she wasn’t hungry the third day in a row. 

He would want to talk with her in private as soon as it was possible, as something was clearly bothering her. 

Nobunaga would prioritize his fireball over the workload, or at the very least he’d try - he couldn’t find her anywhere. 

His dissatisfaction was only worsened by urgent reports - a small army was gathering near the borders of his territory. Most likely, it was just local rebellion, yet he had to plan for his troops to be sent out. 

As soon as he wrapped his work up, he’d rush to look for his lover. 

This time, he’d find her in her room.

“I demand you tell me what is wrong,” Nobunaga said, sitting next to her.  “ Nothing, really. I just feel a bit odd.” “ Are you ill?” “ No, it’s all in my head, I suppose”, she answered, playing with her fingers.  “ Then tell me. Now.” “ You see, I just... I can’t find the motivation. I’ve been forcing through the days for some time now and... And it’s hard,” she answered hesitantly, carefully looking for words to describe her state. “ It almost feels as if I should just give up and sleep all day.” Nobunaga would take her hands into his. “ Your life belongs to me. If you can’t find any other reason to keep living, live for me.” 

He wouldn’t know how to help her, but he’d try. He’d remind her to take care of herself. He’d drag her out of bed. He’d make sure she ate properly. He’d try to entertain her and show her her worth and just how important she is for him.

Ieyasu:

He would know right when she stopped trying altogether.

She wasn’t even trying to disprove him. Whenever he told her she wasn’t doing something right, she just seemed... To believe him? 

It didn’t sit right with him. Ieyasu knew he was bad - really bad - with words. Yet, never before she had actually given up when he told her to.

He’d observe her carefully, in hopes of figuring it out. He noticed how apologetic she became, how she didn’t even attempt to stick up for herself.

Ieyasu tried being more encouraging of her, but then she started putting herself down on her own.

Finally, he’d gather himself and initiate a conversation about his concerns.

It would be at the end of the day, when they were lying in the futon, ready to fall asleep.

“Hey. What is going on?”, he started, averting his gaze from her. “I think I don’t understand the question.” “You do. Why are you so apologetic? Why have you started to give up?” After a few minutes, she spoke: “ I’m sorry I worried you. It’s really nothing.” Ieyasu bit his tongue, looking frantically for words to articulate himself. He looked her in the eyes. “Just tell me already,” he uttered.  “ I... I think it’s better if I give up. I can’t do a single thing right. I can’t focus on anything, but I also can’t rest. Ieyasu, I... I feel worthless. I feel guilty.” He wasn’t sure how to respond, so he hugged her tightly. “ You are not. You are none of those things,” he mustered.

Ieyasu would definitely watch his language since that talk. He would try to praise her, he would encourage her to challenge herself and to express the “ugly feelings” that clouded her mind. He’d probably also recommend her to be open about the matter with her other friends too.

[missjosie27]

Year 3 Part 5- To Hogsmeade

Hey, guys! Another chapter is here! Hope you like it

True to her word, Professor McGonagall granted him access to Hogsmeade upon learning of his marks in charms.

“You have kept your end of the deal, Mr. Grant. With your permission slip, I will allow you to join your classmates this weekend in Hogsmeade.”

She said this with a limited smile, a rarity for the strict Transfiguration master though David privately thought she still didn’t look thrilled by the idea. He wondered if Dumbledore had been involved in this whole situation. Still, he wasn’t one to push his luck…most of the time.

“Thank you, Professor McGonagall,” he said.

“And Mr. Grant. Do try to enjoy yourself as opposed to finding more trouble.”

They had gone in a group- Rowan, Ben, Charlie, Penny, Chiara, Tonks, and himself. Some of the Ravenclaws were just in front of them while the Slytherins, predictably, were way behind.

 “You did it,” Rowan told him excitedly. “You’re going to Hogsmeade and all the bells and whistles that come with it.”

“And you’re brother too,” Ben added.

“Perfect excuse. We need to take a visit to the Three Broomsticks anyway. You have got to try butterbeer, Ben. First one is on me.”

David was still a bit miffed at McGonagall’s parting remark, but it didn’t dampen his spirits too much. His immediate mission was accomplished and now he could spend a day goofing off and find out more about Jacob. It was a win-win.

“Personally, I can’t wait to check out Zonkos,” Tonks said with a rather mischievous smirk on her face.

“What’s Zonkos?” Chiara asked.

“Only the finest supplier of prank and gag items known to wizardkind,” she responded excitedly. “And exactly what I need to surprise a certain librarian and a certain caretaker.”

“There’s also Honeydukes!” Penny pipped up. “My mom took me once when I was little. I’ve always wanted to come back and try their strawberry chocolates.”

“What do you reckon we should do first, Dave?” Rowan asked. “I know you need to talk to Madam Rosmerta. Do you have a preference?”

Up until now, David hadn’t spoken as he was mulling over that same question. They had until sundown to return to the castle which was plenty of time to both explore and talk to Rosmerta. He didn’t have to meet Hagrid until just after lunch.

“Let’s go visit some of the shops,” he said at last. “I don’t have to go to the Three Broomsticks right away. It’s pretty packed in there right now anyway.”

“I like the way you think, Dave!” Tonks grinned. “Let’s go!”

For older students such as Bill (who was with a couple of friends in his year) the novelty had worn off a bit. For those making their first visitations or only been once before, it was a wonderland. Though the day was windy, it was also bright and sunny, and those days were going to be few and far between in the highlands of Scotland as the year went deeper into Autumn.

The village itself wasn’t all that different in appearance than a standard muggle one, however there was one key difference and that was magic. Only witches and wizards lived here and it livened up the atmosphere considerably. Colorful posters announcing deals or sales adorned the little shops and taverns. Children laughed and played in the street. There was a flurry of activity every which one looked and from everything the third years had heard, the first impression did not disappoint.

Tonks had a field day in Zonkos and stocked up on items such as biting tea cups, frog spawn soap, and dungbombs. Against his better judgment, David also bought a couple dungbombs to be used at his own discretion and entertainment. The discovery of Penny’s sweet tooth was quite evident as she could barely stop eating the honeydukes chocolate and Tonks had to calm her down from an enormous sugar high. Chiara and Penny were also very fixated on Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop, as it was a popular getaway for Hogwarts boys and girls looking to take each other on dates. The boys (and Tonks), however, weren’t as keen and simply allowed the girls to swoon over the potential romanticism before they moved onto a dress shop.

“I don’t get why they care so much,” Ben whispered nervously.

“It’s just girl stuff,” David muttered back. “Don’t try to understand it, just nod your head and change the subject as quickly as possible.”

“Bill says we’re going to be the ones on those dates in just a couple years,” Ben responded. “Is that true?”

“My brother is pretty popular with the ladies,” Charlie cut in. “He may tease sometimes but he doesn’t bullshit. He’s probably right. Speaking of, he told me to meet him over at the Shrieking Shack. Supposedly the most haunted building in Britain and he wants to show it to me. Anyone want to come?”

“I’m in!” Rowan said eagerly. He never turned down an opportunity to hang out with Bill. “How about you Ben?”

The blond boy fidgeted heavily with his hands.

“Haunted buildings really aren’t my cup of tea.”

“Come on, Ben. We’ll all be there,” Charlie encouraged. “Just us mates. Dave’s coming too right?”

“Actually, it’s almost past one. I can’t keep Hagrid waiting too much longer.”

Rowan nodded understandingly.

“Don’t wait another minute. We’ll rendezvous later at the Three Broomsticks later on.”

“You know where it is right?” Charlie asked.

Truthfully, David didn’t know where it was at all, but he figured he’d find his way. It was a village not the streets of London. It couldn’t be that hard.

“Yeah, I know where I’m going. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Good luck, Dave!”

The other three boys made their way north to the location of the shack while David went on his way. He figured he would come across a sign or some other landmark indicating the inn but the wind was picking up and it was taking a toll on his sight and movement. He looked up towards the sky; still sunny but clouds were rolling in and the little warmth received from the sun would soon be overcast. Zipping up his red hoodie jacket, he resolved to press forward.

Can’t be that far right?

Suddenly, a voice called out to him.

“First time in Hogsmeade?”

To his right he saw a tall, black boy regarding him with both friendliness and mild amusement. David vaguely recognized him as a Ravenclaw in his own year. He decided to approach him.

“How’d you guess?”

The Ravenclaw gave a grin.

“You have that look about you. Excited, cold, and not exactly sure where you’re going. I’m Andre Egwu, by the way.”

He offered out his hand, which David took.

“Oh yeah, I remember you from flying class. You’re also the keeper on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team if I recall correctly and pretty damn good at it. People talk about you as much as Charlie or Skye.”

“Charlie and Skye deserve the attention. Especially given that Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup pretty handily last year. But Quidditch is a passion of mine and I hope to play in the professional leagues someday. That’s why I wear my Pride of Portree scarf every chance I get to go to Hogsmeade. Best team in the league.”

David, knowing his Quidditch couldn’t deny that. Portree had won the British league for three years running.

“So they are. But you make it sound you’ve been here before.”

“It’s because I have. My parents take my sister and I to Hogsmeade even when we’re not in school. Gladrags Wizard Wear is one of my favorite places to shop for clothes.”

David resisted the urge to chuckle, instead choosing a tone of surprise.

“I didn’t think top Quidditch blokes were fashion aficionados.”

It was true. Glancing at Andre up and down it was clear that this was a person who cared a great deal about his appearance. In addition to his scarf, he wore a fleece jacket with the collars up, dress jeans, and a very nice pair of what looked like Italian shoes. In addition to that, his hair was expertly cut into a fade. To say he was stylish was an understatement.

“Clothes make the wizard,” Andre replied with gusto. “The better you look, the better you feel, the better you are at Quidditch. Or in your case, curse breaking.”

“I take it you heard about that, then?”

It was a stupid question. Almost everyone in Hogwarts had. But broad acknowledgement for the accomplishment as opposed to being seen as potentially mad still took some getting used to. But the emotion on Andre’s face wasn’t just admiration, it was gratitude.

“That cursed ice had me trapped in the Quidditch changing room until you broke that curse inside the vault. You saved my life.”

“Think nothing of it. I had plenty of help from my friends.”

Andre smiled and he reached into a bag by his side.

“Well as a token of my thanks, I’d like to offer you this scarf. It is quite blustery out here today and when I saw you shivering down the street, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.”

David gladly took it. It was made of a very quality wool, patterned in dark gold and red, his house colors. Quite thoughtful, indeed.

“This is brilliant, Andre. Thank you.”

“A stylish gift for a worthy curse breaker such as yourself,” the black teen affirmed. “I’ll say this for sure: it won’t be hard for you to find a date or a girl to take to the next ball.”

He couldn’t resist laughing this time, thinking back to Penny and Chiara fawning over Madam Puddifoot’s tea shop.

“It’s a bit early to be thinking about, no? I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“Never too early to start thinking about girls,” Andre replied with a wink. “It may seem ridiculous to you now, but you’ll start to notice sooner rather than later. And when that day comes, my door is wide open.”

David’s first impression of the Ravenclaw lad was certainly unique but he certainly sensed no ill will from him. Just that his interests seemed to be ahead of most people their age.

“I’ll take you up on that someday. Thanks, Andre.”

“Don’t mention it.”

They shook hands once more and he prepared to depart. But before he did, he turned around one last time.

“Uh, by the way, where’s-”

“The Three Broomsticks?” Andre smiled knowingly. “Fifty feet up the hill to your right.”

Interesting guy that Andre Egwu

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Three Broomsticks had a reputation that preceded it. It was a cozy, lively atmosphere filled with patrons of all sorts, a bustling tavern frequented by locals and tourists alike. Inside was a building largely made of fine wood, filled with various tables and booths. There was also a second floor for private parties but most people appeared content to mingle with the crowd. In fact, it was so packed David was fairly certain it would have taken him quite a bit of time to find any standard human being.

Fortunately, Hagrid was not a standard human being and spotting him was a simple matter. As soon as they caught sight of each other he waved a huge hand.

“David! Over here!”

Sifting through the crowd, he managed to squeeze through two rather portly men, one of which had a walrus-like mustache and a glass of fine wine in his hand. Ducking underneath the outstretched jovial arm, he finally made it to where Hagrid was standing. 

“Welcome ter the Three Broomsticks!” he said in his usual cheerful tone. “What do ye think so far?”

“Seems like a lot of fun,” David remarked with a smile. “Is it always this packed?”

“Aye. It’s very popular. The students pack it even more on weekends such as this. Though ye get used ter it.”

Just then they were interrupted by an attractive, curvaceous woman with long, flowing blonde hair and a pretty face. She wore an ankle length dress and a plain apron but her cheeks were naturally rose and held a natural, festive glow.

“Hello, Hagrid! Good to see you again.”

“The same ter you, Rosmerta. Lookin as lovely as ever.”

“You’re sweet as always. Can I get you all anything?”

David couldn’t be sure but he thought Rosmerta’s eyes lingered over him for a half second longer than normal.

“A round of butterbeers, please.”

Sensing a chance to ask questions, the young Gryffindor tried to introduce himself.

“Madam Rosmerta I was wondering if-”

“Half a moment, dear,” she quickly interrupted. “I’ve got other tables to attend to. Be back soon.”

Visibly deflating at her departure, Hagrid noticed this and tried to cheer him up.

“Not ter worry, David. She’s a busy woman runnin’ this place. She knows who ye are and she’ll tell ye everything ye want ter know about yer brother.”

Realizing it would do no good to mope or complain, David supposed there was nothing more he could do until the bar matron returned.

“You’re right, Hagrid. Can’t wait to drink one of those butterbeers.”

The giant man looked down on him with a curious eyebrow.

“Never had one before? I thought ye were from a wizard family, Dave.”

“I did when I was little, but it’s been awhile. Mum won’t let me have anything in the way of sweets.”

He and Hagrid grabbed a table and talked like this for about fifteen minutes, sharing details of each other’s lives not previously known, though the latter was a tad more vague with his answers. David thought nothing of it, however and was content to laugh and share companionship with the gamekeeper, who was good company. He made a silent note to interact with him more often.

Soon enough, Rosmerta returned with a tray of butterbeers in hand.

“Cheers, Dave!” Hagrid said, clinking their glasses, almost toppling over the contents of his friend’s butterbeer. Taking a sip, a wave of sweet, warm, frothy goodness engulfed his senses. It was easily one of the tastiest concoctions ever invented in the history of wizard kind.

“Just as good as I remembered,” he said, giving a satisfied sigh.

“I’m glad you like it, dear,” Rosmerta said kindly. “I apologize for hurrying off earlier. Busy weekend. What would you like to know about your brother?”

David was slightly surprised.

“How did you know who I was?”

“It wasn’t hard to figure out,” the bar maiden said with a knowing twinkle in her blue eyes. “You and your brother look very much alike. That look of surprise you gave me just now was reminiscent of what he used to do. Plus, I must admit Hagrid filled me in a bit beforehand.”

Though siblings, David never came across many people who commented he and Jacob looked similar. His older brother was much broader, with a different shaped nose along with brown eyes as opposed to his own hazel-blue. Nevertheless, he supposed it would make sense Rosmerta might recognize him. Perhaps she saw something others did not. 

“David wanted ter ask ye a question or two about Jacob,” Hagrid explained. 

“I can spare just a few minutes,” Rosmerta smiled. “What would you like to know?”

Where to start? So much of Jacob was a mystery to him now and any information he could garner was a boon not merely in the quest to find the vaults but to satiate his own desire for that knowledge. 

“Madam Rosmerta, I heard you knew him in his time at Hogwarts. What was he like? Did mention anything about the Cursed Vaults?”

A nostalgic look came across her pretty features.

“I remember Jacob quite well...quiet boy. Very sweet. He spent a lot of time at the bar scribbling in notebooks.”

That certainly perked his interest.

“Notebooks you say?”

“Aye. Then one day a pair of Ministry officials showed up, grabbed him by the hood of his robes and dragged him out the door. They demanded he hand over any information he held on the vaults, but they found nothing. Only thing he left behind was a black quill.”

Another black quill

“Madam Rosmerta do you still have that quill? I’ll do anything to have it, I swear.”

That emitted a chuckle from the curvy innkeeper.

“Settle down, Dave. I’ll go look in the back. I never throw anything anyway so it should be around somewhere.”

“Thank you so much!”

“Think nothing of it,” she replied kindly. “Though it may take awhile longer. There are still a lot of customers to service and it’s quite cluttered in my office.”

“I’ll wait as long as I need to, Madam Rosmerta.”

“Very well then. I’ll score up another round for your table while I’m at it. Be back soon, dear.” 

David did his best to engage in further conversation with Hagrid to temper his impatience. It was best not to push his luck while he still retained some of it. If the gameskeeper suspected or believed he might be after the vaults again, it wouldn’t take long for Dumbledore to find out and that wouldn’t be good for anyone. Which also begged the question once more: was he still interested in the vaults themselves? Or just his brother? Perhaps the two were intertwined.

Before he could think about it more, Rosmerta returned about an hour later, black quill in hand. 

“Here you are, hun. Sorry it took me a little while to find. But it’s yours now. Use it well.”

Ecstatic happiness surged through David and he took the quill a little too quickly.

“Er...sorry. Thank you Madam Rosmerta.”

But the blonde woman took it in stride with understanding.

“Any time, David. And next time you’re here I may need some help. Would you be okay waiting tables now and again?”

“Think nothing of it.”

She gave one last sweet smile and waved goodbye.

“It was very nice to meet you, David. When you find Jacob, tell him I said hello.”

He nodded while Hagrid beamed at him. 

“Fine woman, Rosmerta is. Yeh can always trust her ter help people when they need it. Just promise me you won’t do anythin reckless with that quill.”

David nodded even if he had no idea what information the quill possessed, he was quite convinced in the moment nothing ill fated could come of knowing its contents.

“Of course, Hagrid.”

“You know, Dave, you should come by me hut some time. Fang’s gettin big now and we love havin guests over. I could bake a batch o’ me rock cakes.”

He had no idea what rock cakes were or even how good Hagrid was at cooking but he couldn’t help but appreciate the genuineness of the man. In the course of his Hogwarts career, he single handedly saved him from Devil’s Snare, alerted him to the spreading cursed ice, and helped him whenever he asked for it. The least he could do was return the favor.

“I’d love to, Hagrid. Just send me an owl and I’m there.”

The giant man clinked his glass once more, this time sending the contents all over his new scarf.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He reunited with his friends a short time later as the sun settled into the west, signaling that it was time to return to Hogwarts. Charlie, Bill, and Rowan were discussing their foray into the Shrieking Shack while Ben preferred not to talk about it. Penny and Chiara continued to giggle over Madam Puddifoot’s (and boys they’d take there which David didn’t really pay attention to). Tonks hung back with David, talking loudly over the wind about the black quill.

“So the Ministry found nothing on him?” the pink haired witch snickered. “That is the ultimate prank.”

“More so than that. It means they never knew what he was truly up to. He must have somehow hidden his notes within this quill.”

“You can do that?”

“Professor McGonagall’s been teaching me about all kinds of transfiguration this year, including switching spells in our advanced lessons. Definitely possible to turn a book into another unidentified object.”

“That’s some pretty advanced transfiguration,” Tonks said, clearly impressed.

David shrugged.

“Guess it runs in the family. McGonagall says I’m the best she’s seen in a decade.”

“Well I’m already a master at transfiguration,” the Hufflepuff said waggling her eyebrows, changing her appearance to that of a duck, to a koala bear, to that of Celestina Warback. 

“You got original material left?” David yawned.

“Wanker. Anyway what do you think the quill contains? Can I see it?”

He obliged by pulling it out of his left jacket pocket. 

“Nothing too out of the ordinary. All we have to do is use ‘repifarage’ to untransfigure it and…”

“You lot aren’t going to be untransfiguring anything.”

Out of the shadows in front of the entrance to the school stepped Argus Filch, the Hogwarts caretaker, looking as grouchy and unpleasant as ever. And judging by his expression he’d overheard everything they were talking about. Quick as a flash for someone who clearly suffered from rheumatism, he snatched the quill out of David’s outstretched hand.

“Hey! Give that back That belongs to me!”

“Not anymore it don’t,” Filch leered towards him. “I’ll be addin it to the collection of confiscated contraband to my office. Professor Snape’s orders of course…”

David highly doubted the cantankerous old man had any such orders and seizing one of his legitimate belongings was surely out his purview. Feeling himself becoming furious, he gripped his wand in blind rage before Tonks gripped his arm and shook her head in an effort to calm him.

“Now beat it ya nasty scallywags. On with ya!”

They ducked a swipe from Filch and ran off, but not before David cursed up a storm once they were far enough away.

“Language, David. I didn’t know you knew such colorful phrases.”

“You would too if you had an older sibling...and just had the one chance of finding said sibling robbed from you by a quivery old git.”

“Patience, my hot blooded Gryffindor friend,” Tonks told him. “All we have to do is simply get the quill back.”

“Yeah? And how exactly do you plan to do that?”

Tonks grinned at him with a smile that practically radiated mischief. 

“Leave that to me. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s taking the mickey out of Filch.”

[thenovelartist]

An Impromptu Proposal, 1-2

Next>>

1. Miraculous

It had been nine long years since she’d gotten her miraculous. It was still crazy to think that at twenty-two years old, she and her partner—her original partner who she would always refer to as her partner and never as a teammate—were still fighting Hawkmoth. Not the original Hawkmoth, though. No, he’d gone down years ago. It killed both her and her partner that they would never know who the old Hawkmoth was, but Lila had left a very blatant note that there had been a transfer of authority.

Ladybug still couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that that woman had somehow managed the one thing that she and Chat couldn’t.

It was a blessing and a curse, this transfer of power from Hawkmoth to Butterlie. For one, Ladybug and Chat Noir were able to track her. She’d made no secret of her identity to them. But with that blessing came a double-edged sword. There was no outing her, seeing as there was no believable proof. Furthermore, they couldn’t get too close. Lila was crafty. If Ladybug and Chat Noir got close to her as civilians, then surely, Lila would think something was up. And if they got too close as Chat Noir and Ladybug, she’d turn the city against them. It was no secret that Lila hated the two supers. And since the world was wrapped around her finger—she’d made herself quite a star by lying about her connections to get connections which she used to further herself into someone famous for being famous—all she had to do was lie about Ladybug and Chat Noir enough to turn a riot against them.

It pissed the Miraculous team off more than anyone could explain.

The worst part of Lila was that although there weren’t as many akumas, her akumas were more powerful and strategic than Hawkmoth’s ever were.

It proved to be a real problem to the supers.

Their last problem was Mayura still using her powers to attempt to avenge Hawkmoth—that was the other big issue; Mayura was more powerful than Hawkmoth ever was, too. It must be a woman thing—and take down Butterlie. But, if given an opening, Mayura would easily snatch a miraculous and run. She did it once. It had been a pain to retrieve the fox necklace. Partly because Butterlie wanted it, too.

In short, Ladybug would sum up the last couple years as superhero hell. At least she’d convinced Master Fu to allow Alya, Nino, and whoever Chat had decided to give the Bee miraculous to to keep their miraculous. It was so much more convenient for them to show up at every fight automatically.

After all, Marinette couldn’t always get away from her job. She did all she could, but after so many years of this Miraculous dealings, the people of Paris barely batted an eye. If it wasn’t in their part of the city, people would easily dismiss it as someone else’s problem and life would go on as normal.

One day, things would go back to normal.

Marinette just didn’t know when that day would come.

 ...

2. Civilian Life

Adrien remembered the day his father basically gave up on… everything. Adrien had been eighteen, and it had been around the time he’d finished up his homeschooling as well as the time Hawkmoth’s miraculous had been stolen by Lila. Nathalie had to take over the company around that time, and instead of going to further his schooling, Adrien had taken up shadowing Nathalie so as to take over the company.

Which he had to last year when Nathalie became severely ill. She’d been slowly growing worse over the last couple years, but when she’d collapsed and had to be taken to the hospital, Adrien knew that from that day on, he was on his own.

As hard as it was to be the new CEO of Gabriel’s and then be Chat Noir on top of that, he was so immensely thankful that being Chat Noir had brought Ladybug into his life. She was a grounding force he needed, and the unconditional support she offered was the only thing keeping him sane. Sure, he had his bro Nino that he’d forever be thankful that he accidently met one day, and he had Chloe in his life who’d shockingly pulled her act together over the last few years—maybe it had to do with the artist she was dating now, or it was possibly because of the superhero lifestyle she’d taken up—and he had the miraculous team who knew how hard it was to live a double life. But it was always Ladybug who could tell the truth behind his words. The one who was by his side when things got hard. The one who held him when he cried and encouraged him when he wanted to give up.

Even though they decided a while ago it was best to keep their identities secret, he couldn’t help but feel both of their resolutions were waning rather quickly. He wanted her to be in his everyday life, to be by his side as a pillar of support, and he wanted to be by her side in return for everything she’d ever done and was doing for him. He really hoped those walls would fall soon enough. But he would let her make that choice. She was the one who wanted those walls in the first place, and he’d respect her decision. For now, anyway. He thought that maybe it was time to start pushing for more again to see if she was ready.

But in the meantime, he’d take every late-night secret moment he could and savor every stolen kiss they shared hidden in the night. Just because they didn’t know each other’s identities didn’t make their love for each other any less true. It didn’t make their relationship any less real. It made it a little more difficult, but he would think it was as real as it could be seeing as he’d fallen in love with who she was instead of a name, a face, or a lifestyle she lived.

He may have a ring he’d bought impulsively one night hidden away in his bedroom that he looked at in hopes of a future with her. He hoped he’d be able to give it to her sooner rather than later.

By the time he parked his car at his work, the clock was already showing he was late. It wasn’t on purpose, but seeing as he was the boss and all he had to do was paperwork first thing this morning, he could get away with it.

However, the girl who was running in a black pencil skirt, red blouse, and kitten heels toward the building probably wouldn’t. It was only when he got closer did he realize who it was. “Marinette.”

Startled, she whipped around to face him right as she made it to the door. With a groan, she turned back around, tossing her head back in frustration. “I’d hoped I wouldn’t be caught.”

He chuckled. “You’re lucky it’s just me.”

“Beyond lucky,” she said, opening the door for him. “I’ll have to thank Alya for dating your best friend. And I have to thank Nino for getting me this job in the first place.”

“With your portfolio, there was a good chance you would have gotten in eventually,” Adrien said.

“Still doesn’t hurt that my best friend’s boyfriend introduced me to the boss and convinced him to hire me.”

Adrien chuckled. Honestly, he was happy to have hired Marinette as a design assistant. She was a hard worker and very talented; he could see her working her way up in the company. The designer Adrien had assigned her to had few complaints.

“By the way,” Adrien said, hitting the elevator button. Speaking of complaints… “Why were you late this time?”

“I set the wrong alarm,” Marinette admitted. “I know, I know; it’s no excuse, but that’s what happened.”

“As long as you promise to start double checking your alarms, I’ll accept it.”

She groaned. “Yes, sir.”

The elevator opened, allowing the two of them to enter. He hit the button for her floor and his floor.

“By the way, really quick,” Marinette began rambling as soon as the door shut. “You know Alya and Nino are trying to set us up, right?”

“It’s plenty obvious,” he said with a smirk.

She chuckled. “They’re not very subtle about it.”

Honestly, the thought was rather amusing. Adrien knew Nino wanted to set him up with someone. He could even see why Nino was trying to set him up with Marinette. It was just hard to dance around that subject when there was a matter of him having a secret girlfriend. “I’ll be frank with you,” Adrien said. “While the main reason I must turn you down should be because I’m your boss, the actual reason is… I’m seeing someone. Nino doesn’t know, and I beg of you to not tell him because I’m not ready to introduce the two.”

The surprise was clear on her face, and he hoped he didn’t offend her. Though he was her boss, Adrien saw Marinette as a friend. They did get together with Alya and Nino outside of work all the time, and even played video games one-on-one online to unwind. He didn’t want to lose her as a friend. “Oh! Well, I guess that works out then,” she said, flashing him a smile. “Because… I’m not exactly single either. And I’ll only keep your secret if you keep mine from Alya because I’m not ready for her to learn about him yet.”

The elevator doors opened for Marinette’s floor. He hadn’t known Marinette was seeing someone; she never talked about it. But considering Adrien was in the same boat, he could understand. “Deal.” Adrien stuck his hand out.

Marinette took it to shake before stepping out of the elevator. “See you later, Adrien.”

“Don’t be late, next time.”

“I’ll work on that.”

Adrien chuckled as the doors shut and the elevator took him up to his floor.

Ding!

He reached into his pocket to pull out his phone, seeing that he had a message on a chat app the miraculous team had set up.

But then he realized it was a private message from his love.

Good morning, Kitty. Sending my luck your way for the day. Thinking of you! XOXOXXX

A warm fuzzy feeling flooded him as he read the message over. He couldn’t help but blush realizing there were more kisses than hugs.

Good morning, my bugaboo. I’ll happily take and treasure any luck you give me. It’s always an honor to be in your thoughts, my lady, seeing as you are always in mine. I would send you hugs and kisses, but I’d rather give them to you personally next time I see you. ;)

It wasn’t long before she responded.

Such a tomcat XD But you won’t hear me complaining. I love you.

His heart was racing as he walked to his office, grin plastered across his face.

I love you more. He responded.

I doubt that.

With a happy sigh, he dropped into his chair at his desk. While he wasn’t working his first choice of job and struggled to survive the stress of part-timing as a superhero, he couldn’t say his life was bad. Not when he had people like Nino or Alya or the miraculous team or especially his darling Ladybug in his life.

[rivkahstudies]

do you have any advice for a high school senior who wants to make the most of their last year of high school? asking for a friend :)

hi darling! I think the things I remember most from my senior year (though it was only two years ago that it started) can be summarized in, “crazy busy, crazy stressful, but at times, crazy fun.” Here’s to making the most of it, and maintaining health while you do so!

This is going to be combination masterpost and advice post, because I’ve accumulated a lot on this subject and I have a loooot to say. 

Also this is heavily based off of the assumption you’re pursuing higher education, but some of these things still apply/can be tweaked.

table of contents:

i. academics

ii. social life

iii. personal health

i. 𝓪𝓬𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓶𝓲𝓬𝓼

a. grades

They’re important for your future if your plan is to go to college or academy, but they’re not the whole world. (see social life and personal health)

I’m not a big fan of the “3-to-1 rule” or other such things that tell you “study for this amount of time no matter what” because it’s important for you to understand what comes naturally to you and what you need further clarification on. Some classes are going to take up less of your time than others.

The best you can do on a given day isn’t necessarily 100%. Sometimes your best that day is 90%, 80%, 60%. “try your best” isn’t “your best ever” so don’t push yourself for 100s every time for the expense of categories ii and iii.

A lot of people (at least in places like where I went to high school) who are hung up on the stress of competition and the need to be The Best™ are going to ask you for grades. It’s going to be everywhere. Assignment grades, test grades, SATs, ACTs, (if you’re not in the US, the equivalents of your state, regional, or national standardized tests), entrance exams, et cetera, et cetera. I know it’s tempting to fall into the anxiety of whether you measure up, but here’s a quick tip: even if you think you did well/above average, you can keep it private. It infuriated my classmates when I wouldn’t share, because I was comfortable with how I competed with myself and didn’t care what my peers thought of my scores. 

When you’re someone as dedicated to studying as I am, you might get a lot of “oh, you got that grade because you’re you” (the underlying implication being that it’s natural or the work is easy for you, which was not the case for me) or “ha! I got higher than (name)! I measure up!” This is a lot of their own biases and insecurity talking and the best way not to be affected is not to buy into it. Again, this is based on my own experience.

 I really cannot emphasize extra credit enough because some of my teachers threw it around like candy and some of them barely drizzled a little in at intervals, but either way it really saved me when it came to rounding my grades up.

It never hurts to have a grade tracker if you’re concerned, you don’t get graded by total points accumulation/have a weighted system, and/or don’t have an easy way to access your grades online throughout the year.

find your study strategy/ies for each class and stick to it/them. It won’t necessarily be the same. I’m a primarily visual learner, and it really, really helps for most things, but I still need rote memorization for subjects with a lot of vocabulary, like medicine or languages.

further resources

studying without notes by @fuckstudy . 

prioritizing that crazy to do list (the abcde method) by @eintsein

a comphrensive guide to anki (flashcards online) by @studyingstudent

a stash of tiny study tips by @acalmstudiousfirecracker

and much much more on my #studyref tag.

b. extracurriculars

These I think matter (though I’m biased) more than grades, because they’re what shape you and your experience. Most of the students at my university had grades like mine, but it’s the places I frequented and the people to whom I devoted my time that formed my sense of self. I have so many skills, anecdotes, and ideas that I’ve gained from my extracurricular work.

If you have any you’ve stuck with since early in high school and you still like, keep ‘em. Quality over quantity. Show jobs or universities you can be dedicated and disciplined, and have stamina to see projects to the end. (I was in 7 and held leadership positions in 4 and it was probably part of the reason why I spent all of senior year on three hours sleep… besides my IB classes of course.)

If you’re not pursuing college immediately or at all (or even if you are), participate in ones that pull you out of your comfort zone and teach you something new.

ii. 𝓼𝓸𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮

Treat this category as you would anything else in your schedule–requiring time and being a significant priority. Not always at the very top, but still demanding its own attention.

See friends outside of school, for however long or short a period, at least once every week to two weeks. This can include extracurricular time if you’re pressed.

Schedule time with your family (especially if their lives are also cluttered and hectic) do something dynamic, and also something separate that’s relaxing. One week your family time might be reading in the same room and having gentle conversation or a family dinner; the next might be going out to the movies or taking a hike together. It can be easy to feel taken for granted or to take family for granted.

By the way, this includes “chosen” family if you’re not on great terms with some/all of them. I have experience with this too.

Get. Out. Of. The. House. This plays into “personal health” too! You need a change in rhythm/routine and exposure to the outside. Especially in your winter season. 

I’m one of those people who has to have things scheduled way in advance, so family/curfew/etc permitting, do something a little bit spontaneous, say with only a few hours or a couple days notice. It will make you feel more alive if you’re in a stressful slump.

Communication is really important, especially if you’re stressed. Don’t be afraid to tell people “I am sensitive/hyperreactive to X because Y is putting me on edge right now” or “this triggers X insecurity because I’m anxious about Y.” This goes doubly if you’re struggling with mental illness. Talk to someone you trust. (See “personal health.”)

Don’t give in to peer pressure if you’re spent the time you need with friends and have to excuse yourself for other responsibilities. Balance!

No is equally as important to respected as Yes, no matter what the case.

Respect boundaries but invite people to challenge their comfort zone at their space.

Don’t be broken up if a romantic relationship doesn’t last. It’s senior year. Everything’s changing. Let it.

Also, please don’t be like me and let your summer/your school year be eaten up with relationship drama. I thankfully ended a difficult relationship early (late September) so it wasn’t a huge issue, but I watched people close to me struggle with while also battling the stress of the year.

iii. 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓽𝓱

mentally

If you’re struggling with mental illness, be aware of your own limits and pace yourself.

Sometimes we feel dull because we need to break routine/stimulate ourselves in a new way. You should have a structure/routine, but it should be flexible enough for you to adapt to changes and listen to what your mind and body are telling you.

The path to self-love must first begin with self-acceptance. If you struggle with self-image or self-esteem issues, you can’t build positivity off a foundation of negativity. You must first level it to neutrality.

Perform check-ups with yourself. This may be in the form of meditation, a diary, therapy, etc. None of these things are a “last resort” but rather a healthy part of building good mental habits.

physically

Exercise! You don’t have to be a star athlete to bring about the benefits. Even a 15 minute jog, 30 minute walk/hike, or 10 minutes of stretching can give you benefits.

On that note! Take! Frequent! Breaks! And please, please google stretches for certain body parts like hands if you do repetitive motion like drawing or writing for a long period of time! You don’t want to push yourself!

Listen to your body and don’t ignore pain, hunger, nausea, fatigue, etc. Respond patiently and with what’s appropriate.

Don’t forget about diet. It’s easy when you’re busy to reach for the quick and nutritionally poor snacks/meals, but it’s really important to set aside time to cook/meal plan or even just throw together a quick snack tray of fruits/crackers/cheeses/etc. It doesn’t have to be instragrammable but you should have a balanced diet that factors in your specific needs, if you have any restrictions, etc.

Change yo pillow case frequently kids, it does wonders for acne.

I cannot stress enough! To! Stay! Hydrated! My goal is eventually eight glasses a day but my minimum is 4-5. I try to have one every meal, especially in college.

Bedtime is important! But more than that, wake up time is important. If you’re trying to adjust your schedule and can only keep one consistent, choose the time you wake up. Eventually your body will naturally become fatigued for the bedtime to match it. It’s how I turned my sleep schedule from 12:00 AM to 8:00 into 9:30 PM to 5:30 AM over the course of one winter break! 

If you’re a morning person, you’re a morning person. If you’re a night owl, you’re a night owl. There’s research now to prove that forcing yourself into a rhythm too extreme for your tendencies can make you feel awful either way.

At the end of the day, you’ve got one goal and one goal only: to look back on this year and be proud of what you’ve achieved and how you’ve grown. You shape your future and choose what matters most in your life!

If there’s anything else you think I’ve missed or you’d like me to cover more in depth/link more posts to, please ask me! I’d be happy to clarify/continue this series! I want to make sure you’re completely satisfied.

[crazynekochan]

Also just asking if you had ideas of YouTubers au for danganronpa? I've seen very few online tbh and I need to feed my souless body with content (of my ships but content too)

I once did a post about this AU, since @way-too-many-fabulous-fandoms and I do have in fact a YouTuber AU together. I was planning on writing about it one day, but not all of the characters are established yetWe also did an omegaverse version of this AU, but for the answer I will keep this version out for now, since it hardly makes a difference

As mentioned in the other post, Gundham does reviews for animal products and a lot of Makeup tutorials, while Kaz does mainly gaming videos. They are a couple in this AU and live together. First they didn’t tell their viewers about it, since they are more private, however after hearing Kaz scream in the background during a livestream from Gundham, they are quick to find out. After this they often do collaborations together

Hajime and Nagito do mainly Vlogs, while Nagito also has a talent of randomly capturing the most mind blowing stuff by pure accident. A lot of Nagito’s vlogs are also about Hajime, where he just talks about him with adoration and makes no secret about their relationship

Hajime also does a lot of collaborations with others. His most famous are the ones he does with Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko were they try out stuff (They are literally the Try Guys in this AU) For this they have a group channel

While we are also on the topic of Fuyuhiko, he is a former Yakuza in this AU (Peko however isn’t) and he does a lot of challenges, or just openly adores his wife Peko. His little sister Natsumi also loves filming him and Peko being cheesy as hell, especially when it is embarrassing for Fuyu, and uploads them onto his channel (but of course only with things she knows they don’t actually mind). Natsumi also lives with her brother and Peko

Izuru is his own person in this AU and Hajime’s twin brother. He only does collaborations and has absolutely no videos on his own channel, yet he is one of the youtubers with the most subscribers

Ibuki does a lot of music videos, especially together with Sayaka, Leon and Kaede, but she also often joins Chiaki, Chihiro and Kaz with their video games. Speaking of Chiaki, she has a let’s play channel which is probably the most famous of them all. And to have the set complete, Mikan does a lot of videos about medicine (A bit like Dr Hope’s Sick Notes). She is also very big on helping people getting away from abuse and also talking about mental illnesses, where she also talks a lot about her own experiences and often has her friends who had the same experiences join her

Sonia is an actual princes in this AU and she often talks about her kingdom in her videos. She does however a lot of guest starring in other videos

Nekomaru is more or less Warriormale in Youtube form, where he fights for equal rights and against toxic masculinity. He also shows a lot of training exercises and self-defence. He and Sakura have very similar channels and so often work together, but Sakura concentrates a bit more on females like Imfemalewarrior

Hiyoko mainly uploads her dances on her channel or just videos where she rants about her friends. She also does a lot of collaborations, mainly prank videos together with Kokichi or she gives her friends makeovers (her favourite person for that is Kaz, since @way-too-many-fabulous-fandoms and I like the idea of them being friends)

Imposter does a lot of impressions of other people. They also often take up the place of their friends and do parts of their videos as a joke, which most people never realise until it is revealed

Chihiro also does gaming, especially with his friends, but he mainly does programming tutorials

Toko has a review channel where she talks about different books, or gives updates on her own books and answers questions about them. She is often joined by Komaru, but they often just have a friendly banter if Manga is literature or not. Syo is still a thing in this AU, however she isn’t a killer. Syo however really enjoys just busting into her friends videos and takes them over

While we don’t know yet what Mondo does on his channel, it is canon that Daiya loves to just walk into his videos and embarrass his little brother. Daiya has a huge fanbase due to this

Rantaro does a lot of Vlogs where he makes documentaries about his travels. He also often has Sonia and Kiyo join in

Kiibo is a human in this AU and often shows off their robots and gives tutorials on them. They are quite big in the field of robotics. However Kokichi likes to mess with them all the time during their videos. Kokichi loves to do prank videos, mainly on Kiibo, but he also does a lot of memes and Vines. He also has this gimmick that in all of his videos there is always at least one DICE member hidden. He also often just rants about this very cute robotics nerd he knows who likes to build robots and just doesn’t get the hint that he is head over heals for them!!

Tsumugi shows off her cosplays in her videos and often has Imposter model them for her. She also does tutorials how to make them

Angie does a lot of art tutorials, challenges and speed paints. She also loves to talk about her culture

There is still a lot more about this AU that I left out for now (mainly about what kind of collaborations the couples like to do, a bit more details on how exactly the videos look like or what other social media they use and how) since this post was getting long. So if you want to know more just ask ^^

[keenerparkerstark]

All I see is green (6/?)

Ship: Harley Keener/Peter Parker

Summary: Peter Parker feels on top of the world! Getting good grades in high school, spending time with Tony Stark (!!!) on his weekends, and at night, he roams the city as the hero known as Spider-Man! Everything changes when a new student shows up at Midtown who seems determined to take it all away from him.

AO3 | FF.net

Harley felt an odd sense of déjà vu as he stared up at the increasingly familiar building in front of him, filled to the brim with a strange mixture of dread, anticipation and exhaustion. Well, the latter was not quite strange, seeing as every single time he closed his eyes, he felt the metal of a gun pressed against his head.

Sleeping had been impossible that night, and he had spent it pressed against Tony’s side on the couch, staring unseeingly at the TV, which was playing some old episode of a comedy show. Tony had urged him multiple times that morning over breakfast to skip out on school that day, but Harley had insisted. It was his first week of school, and missing a day already would be less than ideal. Besides, it wasn’t as if sitting at home doing nothing would be bringing him any comfort in this situation. Tony had let him go, under the condition that he would wear his watch, and press the panic button at any time if he didn’t feel comfortable.

“Harley?” A soft voice spoke up from behind him, and for some reason, all Harley could see in that moment was a pair of white lenses on a red mask, owlishly blinking back at him. He shook his head to rid himself of the image, and turned around. In front of him was Peter, with hunched shoulders and brown eyes shyly glancing back at him. He looked nervous, with his hands shoved deeply in the pockets of his hoodie. His friend Ned was a few steps behind, enough distance to not be barging in, but close enough for silent support.

“Hey, Peter,” he replied, his voice equally soft. Honestly, the whole situation with Peter had taken a mental backburner in comparison to everything else that had happened, but now that he was faced with the boy again, and the guilt came back with an overwhelming force, he wanted nothing more than to make things right. Life was short, after all.

“I noticed you wanted to talk to me yesterday…” Peter’s words trailed off and he cocked his head in tentative expectation.

“Yeah, yeah, I honestly…” Harley took a deep breath, trying to remember the various speeches he had practised what felt like a million years ago, before shaking his head, and pushing aside everything he had prepared. “I’m sorry, Peter. I didn’t realise that you were actually Tony’s intern, and although that doesn’t excuse all the shit I pulled, I hope we can move past this. Maybe we can hang out at the compound sometime, tinker in Tony’s workshop…” At this point, Harley had lost most of the confidence he started speaking with, and lowered his gaze to the ground, not daring to see Peter’s reaction.

“I’m sorry too.” Wait, what? “I should’ve just come over to Mr. Stark’s car that afternoon, and talked to him. It was just a misunderstanding and I turned it into something much bigger than it needed to be. I’m sorry for dragging this out, and-”

“Okay, don’t apologise,” Harley rushed to say. “Let’s just… let’s hang out this afternoon, I’m pretty sure Tony’s coming to pick me up, and we can talk things over with the three of us, okay?” Peter nodded with a slight smile.

“Sounds good.” Harley grinned in response, just as the first warning bell rang.

The relief Peter felt after talking to Harley was immeasurable, and he couldn’t stop grinning as he walked towards his first class. The day went by surprisingly fast, finding that it was easier to focus on his teacher’s with significantly less worries in his head. He spent lunch, as always, in a corner of the cafeteria with Ned, glancing around the crowd and chatting, as they both tried to not be noticed. Peter saw Harley on the other end of the cafeteria with Flash, and they seemed to be having a serious discussion. At one point, Flash even put a hand on Harley’s shoulder, a concerned frown on his face. It was then that Peter started feeling the acidic ache in his stomach again.

“I bet he’s telling him about what happened last night.” Peter glanced over at Ned, who had followed his gaze to Flash and Harley.

“Hmm,” was Peter’s only response. Right in that instance, both Harley and Flash turned around and looked straight back at him, immediately making eye contact. Peter felt his cheeks heat up as he looked away quickly, but Ned raised his hand and waved awkwardly. Peter was too mortified to notice their response.

“What are you doing,” he hissed at his friend.

“I’m waving to your new friend.”

“And the biggest bully in the school!”

“And your new friend’s friend!”

When Peter looked back up at Harley and Flash, they had both turned back to their previous conversation, and did not look at him after that. Peter took out his phone to distract himself, and noticed that he had received a text from Tony:

TONY STARK Hey, kid. Harley told me you’re coming over today. I’ll be there to pick you both up. I’ve also called your aunt already and got her okay, so don’t worry about that. See you in a bit.

The car ride was awkward. Mr. Stark had insisted on both boys sitting in the back of the car (an ill-concealed attempt at avoiding picking who gets shotgun), and the teens ended up looking out of their respective windows while occasionally throwing glances in the other’s direction, unaware of them doing the same thing. Mr. Stark sighed a lot.

‘’So how was your day at school, boys?” The synchronised shrug that followed was almost impressive in how they both managed to convey the exact same level of extreme disinterest. “Eloquent, nice. Go figure that I’d be stuck with two boy geniuses that suffer from a staggering lack of social skills.”

“I have plenty of social skills,” Harley huffed, glaring at Mr. Stark through the rear-view mirror. “I just got robbed last night so I’m a little tired, and Peter here has a staggering lack of social skills.” Mr. Stark tried to hide his snicker in a cough as Peter shrugged again.

“I mean, you’re not wrong.” A beat, then… “Wait, you got robbed? What happened, are you okay?” Nice save, Peter.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Harley replied, turning back to look out his window. “Spider-Man saved me.”

“Ah,” Peter responded. “I’m glad you’re okay.” Silence filled the car again, only occasionally broken by Mr. Stark’s exasperated sighs.

“We’re here,” Mr. Stark eventually exclaimed as he pulled up to the gate of the compound, which automatically opened as he approached. “Are you boys joining me in the lab today? A little birdy told me that Spider-Man is running out of his web fluid sometime in the next week if he doesn’t get a resupply soon, and personally I don’t feel very much like scraping red and blue off the streets of New York this week. I’m a busy man, after all.” Peter rolled his eyes, as Harley shot forward in his seat.

“We get to work on Spidey’s tech? That’s awesome!”

“Peter’s actually Spider-Man personal tech guy.” Harley’s awe was now immediately aimed at Peter, who visibly shied away from it.

“Really? Have you met him? What was he like?”

“I- I, I mean,” Peter stammered helplessly, feeling tension rise in his chest. You’re a terrible liar, Parker, don’t fuck this up. He shot a panicked look at his mentor, who, despite not even glancing at him as he drove into the garage, still seemed to sense his tumult.

“Leave him be, Harles,” he interrupted smoothly. “Pete’s not allowed to say much about it for obvious reasons, and asking him questions is just going to make him feel bad.” Harley back away, looking mildly ashamed of himself, nodding meekly.

After having parked the car, the three quickly found themselves in the elevator up to the highest (private) R&D floor, Mr. Stark chatting senselessly as they went.

“… and Ross called me back a couple of hours later, and he was so angry-”

“There you are!” The moment the elevator doors opened, a voice interrupted Mr. Stark’s insistent chatter and he quite literally froze in his step, making Harley bump into him, and Peter stop equally abruptly as his spidey senses warned him. The sound of clicking heels echoed through the white hallway littered with class doors as a slender, smartly dressed woman rushed towards them, somehow managing to look stunningly graceful in her panicked rush.

“I’ve been calling you for hours! Where have you been?”

“I was picking up Harley from school. I told you about it.”

“You most certainly did not.”

“I’m sure I did. FRIDAY?”

“You did not, boss.”

“Well, you’re just a little traitor, aren’t you? Show your father some respect.”

“Tony, something happened in the stakeholders meeting and I needed you to come in and put out some fires-”

“I’ll have you know, I’m not very good at putting out fires-”

“But when I went up to your lab, you weren’t there!”

“Making fires and explosions is more my forte-”

“You need to tell me if you plan on leaving in the middle of your work day.”

“You should ask DUM-E, he loves putting out fires-”

“Tony, can you be serious for one second!” The woman raised her voice and effectively cut off Mr. Stark’s rambling. He had the decency to look regretful.

“I’m sorry, I was so sure I told you over breakfast this morning.”

“You weren’t even upstairs for breakfast.”

“Right, I mean, that’s probably where it went wrong. Look, Pepper, I’m terribly sorry, I’ll make it up to you. Just say what you want, and I’ll make it happen. In my defence, though? I’m not CEO of the company anymore, and so-” As Mr. Stark continued spouting nonsense, the woman rolled her eyes and finally noticed Harley and Peter standing slightly behind Mr. Stark as if hiding from her scrutiny.

“Hi, there, Harley, honey, how was your day at school?”

“It was pretty good, Ms. Potts, thanks you,” Harley grinned back.

“Oh, please, just call me Pepper! It’s okay! And your friend! You must be the famous Peter Parker, am I right?” Peter felt a rush of excitement run through his body as he realised he was speaking to the Pepper Potts, and could only nod shyly in response. Ms. Potts rewarded him with a patient smile.

“Tony has told me much about you, Peter,” she added. “Only good things, of course! You’re apparently quite the genius.” She let her eyes wander over the boys again, taking in Mr. Stark’s hunched shoulders, Harley’s confident grin and Peter’s wide eyes. “You’re in good company.” She made to leave, but not before turning back and shooting Mr. Stark a warning glare.

“Make sure you all eat, Tony.” He nodded solemnly and watched as his fiancée walked away. It took a couple of seconds to shake himself out of his apparent stupor, but when he did, he turned to Harley and Peter with a wide grin.

“Let’s go explode some stuff.”

“I heard that!”

[vintagemiserie]

hehe this one is long my boyz. jazz au ofc cuz its been my muse 4 the past couple months lmao. ill prob edit this and put it on ao3 tmw or in two days idk

Patrick's hand found a grasp on Joe's sleeve, and he used that grasp to pull him all the way inside, reaching for Joe's collar and pressing their lips together once the door shut. Sure, it was Pete's house, but they were all hanging out there that day, and so they could be a little more intimate. Besides, the short walk from the driveway to the front door was dotted with thrown snowballs and giggling, so if only felt natural to kiss. “Hey, boys, how about saying hi before making out?” Pete said, stepping over from the kitchen in a t-shirt and shorts just as they separated. Patrick found himself unsure as to how exactly he should respond, but Joe laughed it off, so Patrick clung to him and followed suit, a bad feeling building in his chest.

“Well, hey, Pete,” Joe said, pulling Patrick into a sweet little kiss. “Is Ash around? Or is she in LA?”

“New York, actually. She's always busy this time of the year. Is Andy coming over, too?”

“I dunno, I didn't—”

“He's in Milwaukee working with that rock band he's in,” Patrick said, his mouth going dry when he realized that he really didn't need to elaborate at all past any kind of “no, he's not coming over.” He went through what was said to him in therapy: deep breaths and considering that others won't notice the flaws Patrick found in himself.

Pete certainly didn't seem to notice. “Aw, that sucks,” He said, and Patrick allowed himself to exhale. “Okay, so, there's a band in town that I think both of you would enjoy for entirely different reasons—I was thinking dinner, then their show?”

“Sounds good,” Joe said. He put an arm around Patrick's shoulders as Pete excused himself to get properly dressed. He seemed to hesitate speaking for a moment, and so did Patrick, unsure of why he was feeling so anxious. “Are you doing alright?” Joe asked, his voice toned down with an energy different from Joe's usual laid-back attitude.

“I'm doing fine.”

“Your tone betrays your words, baby. Sorry. What's bringing you down, though, seriously? You sound terrible.”

“I 'unno, I just… something made me nervous and I guess I clung onto that—I’m fine, though, really. Most days I end up panicking over even less than this, multiple times a day, and I end up fine, so I can handle this on my own.”

“I just wanted to make sure. I know you like not talking, but make sure you keep me informed if it gets worse, okay?”

Patrick nodded, shuffling closer so he could set his head against Joe's shoulder; Joe wrapped his as around Patrick and kissed him.

“I hope you know how much I love you. I can't imagine how awful you feel, and I can barely talk to my roommate most days without half an hour of psyching myself out.”

Patrick realized at that moment that he had never considered Joe to be someone who would panic of things as inconsequential as talking to a friend, but his thoughts were processed into a murmured, “I love you too,” hoping he said it with enough conviction that Joe would hear past the barrier Patrick had between thinking and saying his thoughts.

Pete returned. “Swear, I can't leave you guys alone without you guys attaching to each other,” He said, nearly laughing. He pushed passed them and opened the door. “Okay, let's go!”

Joe seemed insistent on holding Patrick's hand as they walked to Pete's car, and Patrick tried his best to convince himself that it wasn't because Joe was worried about Patrick's anxieties, but because Joe didn't want him to scoop up a snowball and throw it at him. The attempt didn't work, and Patrick just felt bad for dragging down Joe's mood.

Dinner was pizza, and it was fine. They didn't discuss much, just talked about the music they were working on. Someone recognized them as they left, but didn't ask for much else but an autograph from Patrick. Joe packed a snowball in his hands and Patrick pretended he didn't notice, though he practically forgot about it by the time Joe threw it at him. He at least remembered to laugh instead of get upset, but a bad headache stopped him from thinking too intensely over anything.

In fact, time seemed to rush past him, and suddenly he was handed a ticket stub and Joe squeezed his hand to ask him if he was feeling okay. Patrick said his headache was getting a little better, and Joe seemed to accept that, though it didn't stop him from getting Patrick water. He asked Pete what the time was and learned that the ride to the venue, getting tickets, and entering the concert hall took all of twenty minutes; Pete pat his back and told him he'd be fine, they had a whole opener to sit through, it'd be fine.

Joe came back, giving him the water bottle with a big smile. “Some chick told me to tell you hi, and that she wished you weren't queer because she thought you were hot,” He said, and Patrick tried his best not to freak out over that. Joe bit his lip and raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything, probably not wanting to bother Patrick further, and Patrick didn't mind.

“What—ah, I still don't know who we're seeing,” He said, looking around. The audience seemed to be a mix of hippies and rockers, and it made Patrick feel almost out of place.

“Rolling Stones,” was Joe's answer.

“Oh, they did that thing with Lennon and Yoko two years ago. Are they—this seems like a small venue for a band like them, hm?”

“I guess. I think they sold out Wrigley too, though, so they must've just wanted to do a small show.”

Patrick nodded and drank more of his water.

“They're all totally your type, too,” Joe added.

Patrick laughed, and Joe's expression brightened considerably, perhaps relieved he was at least acting better. He figured Joe's panicked feelings were dissipating, which would have been good if Patrick hadn't reminded himself he only found out about those feelings a few hours prior.

The lights dimmed and the opener played their set and Patrick figured it was alright, but far too reliant on drums and guitar in lieu of good lyrics. His headache went away, at least, but he wasn't impressed. Both Pete and Joe glanced his direction every few seconds, checking to see if he was doing alright, and it was nearly tiring to deal with. People trickled in until the standing room was too tight for Patrick to really handle, a problem made worse when Joe left to get Patrick another water. Pete settled a hand on Patrick's back, probably as much a way to keep Patrick grounded as it was to keep them from separating in the crowd.

The Rolling Stones came on stage before Joe returned, and Patrick could only hope he'd get back somehow. He was right, though, the dark, shaggy hair and lanky-yet-strong builds were exactly what Patrick found himself attracted to. The music was interesting, but nothing he specifically enjoyed, so he let himself lose his focus on the music. Joe somehow found his way back, giving him the water and putting an arm around him.

“Eyecandy, right?” Joe said into his ear, still struggling to be heard over the music and the crowd. Patrick laughed and nodded. “Pete decided on going 'cause we thought you'd give it more of a chance.”

“You know, I do like some rock!” Patrick replied, struggling to yell but still keep their conversation private, since Joe stopped leaning over to whisper to him.

Joe laughed and settled his head against Patrick's, singing along to the lyrics of whatever song was being played. Patrick decided maybe he would try to focus a little, drinking more of his water and ogling at the band.

[dandelionpie]

So I’ve been Having Ideas About My Future lately. And right now this one feels like the very beginning of a soap bubble - the part where you’ve started to blow into it but it hasn’t closed around itself yet. And I want to be really cautious with it so it doesn’t just pop before it can even get into the air, so I wasn’t gonna talk about it for a while, but also.

[Click through for a very long post about Maddy’s Career Options - replies are fine but please be gentle with my baby bubble hopes]

Okay, you guys.

So I was on the phone with my mother the other day, and I was having a sort of a panic attack (you know, like you do when you’re on the phone with your mother [kidding this is not normal and should not be trivialized, etc]), and I was trying to conceal this fact from her but it was Not Working. And I was dismayed about where my life was going, my lack of definite plans for a career, etc., and she said, “You know, I was actually gonna tell you - we had a lady come visit our school the other day and she’s an art therapist.”

And...here’s the thing. Usually my mother’s career suggestions kind of go in one ear and out the other. Because my mom’s great! Really! But she isn’t me, and she doesn’t always get what my life is like. So I usually just say “hm, yeah, I’ll look into it,” and then I don’t.

But I had genuinely just forgotten that art therapy existed. I knew about art, and I knew about therapy, and I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that people were putting those two things together, but somehow I’d just sort of filed that info in the General Trivia drawer instead of the Potential Grown-Up Jobs one. And...I’m getting sort of cautiously excited about the idea.

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS I HAVE HAD SINCE THAT CONVERSATION

(I Started Writing Them Down and Then They Became Legion)

Every piece of art I like has a strong psychological element. That’s the common thread, dammit. That’s why I’m so picky about song lyrics, that’s why I can’t get into a book unless it’s got some sort of strong interpersonal/intrapersonal thread for me to snag my little English major hooks in. At the end of the day, the narratives that interest me are the ones where people are constantly feeling and processing things and I have to think a lot about why they’re doing that the way they’re doing it.

Not trying to sound like I think I’m super virtuous or whatever, but I tend to see good in most people, which might be an asset in that field? I get along well with a lot of personality types that friends of mine have cited as abrasive. Like, I can find people obnoxious but still notice enough of their good qualities to enjoy their company or at least tolerate it. And that’s a strength that’s served me well on a personal level, and a little on a professional level too (getting along with people helps just about anywhere), but I never thought of it as something I could use to particular effect in an actual career track.

That said, I have NO background in psychology. I had a couple lab rats, but they didn’t really teach me any of their secrets.

On cursory examination I have decided that I Do Not Like neurology. I have a lot of friends who seem to love it and that’s great, but....look, it just freaks me the fuck out. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent so much of my adulthood (read: all of it) preoccupied with the vulnerability of my physical being to various surgery-requiring problems. But the idea of my mind (that place where I spend so very very much of my time) being subject to the physical limitations of my brain (a part of my corporeal body [which has in the past proven itself to be somewhat unpredictable]) is so fucking terrifying to me that I’d prefer to spend as little time on that as possible please and thank you.

(Aside: I know the phrase “I don’t like the Brain; I just like the Mind) is like peak dualism, but I’m sure you all know what I mean, right? It’s possible to think about and work with the mind without focusing on the physical brain that gives rise to it. I’ve been doing that on the client end of things for years.)

A lot of the art I do is actually pretty therapeutic! To me, I mean. I never did figure out how to translate the whole cancer thing into an autobio comic (I eventually realized I simply didn’t want to and it was one of the most liberating moments of my life). But I have been relying on art for years to process my trauma. Most of my creative projects and ideas for them go back to that in some way, even if it doesn’t come across to the other people who experience them.

That said, I am...not the biggest autobio comic fan. There are so many things about that genre that rub me the wrong way. I’m glad it exists, I just don’t tend to enjoy consuming or creating autobio comics.                                       However, this might be a chance to see autobio comics through a new lens! And it also has the potential to set me apart - there are quite a few art therapists, but I’ll bet there are fewer whose background is in comics specifically.

I could have an office. I could go into private practice and have a place that I could build into a safe space for people to talk about their problems and work on them. I know it’s just a little thing (and I’m not sure yet if private practice would be feasible/right for me, at least right away), but I like the idea of making physical space for that kind of work.                                                                  (And if I sometimes also used it as a studio for comics, well, I don’t think that’s illegal or anything.)

I could be relatively independent in my career. I could work for an agency (and I think I’d probably have to, at first, but I gotta look into how all that works), but I could also spend at least some of my time in private practice, or working pro bono or on a sliding scale, or doing other stuff that allows me a great deal of flexibility and control over my schedule.

I like the idea of a type of schooling that has experience built into it. Like, you have to get a certain number of internship hours before you can be certified. I’m sure there’s more to it than that, but it’s nice to see a field that’s so up-front about the fact that you need experience before you can do your job.

A lot of art therapists work with traumatized kids, and I find that prospect faintly terrifying. But also maybe it would be good to get over that, if I want to Help People and Use My Strengths to Do Good Things In the World. Those kids are gonna be traumatized either way, and if I can handle it, it’d probably be cool if I helped them.

It would be so nice to not be broke literally all the time. Even with student loans, I think this has the potential to help that happen, if I do my research and play my cards right. And I might even be able to work *gasp* less than 40 hours a week, thereby freeing up my time for other projects. Or, you know, kids. Hell, maybe I’d even be able to feed them.

Nobody would be able to make me work Saturdays.

Not sure yet whether it’d be better to get an Actual Art Therapy Degree or do a more general thing and then get a specific art therapy certification after/during that? I’m leaning towards the latter because I’d like more versatility, but I’m getting the sense that the rules for who can call themself an art therapist are slightly stricter in Oregon, so I’m gonna have to talk to the people who run the program.

What with the horse in the hospital and all that, I was thinking about a career in activism. But I’m not sure I have the temperament to be a lawyer, and I hate talking to strangers (I’ll do it if I have to, but damned if I’m gonna go door-to-door every day). But this way, I could maybe help activists balance their lives and their activism. Activists need therapists.

I could help people like me, with medical trauma. I know all about medical trauma! It has literally been a constant since I was 18! And in college and after, I hated feeling like my problems were fake and that my illness affecting my life was the result of some moral defect. Without therapy, I don’t know if I would have kept going to doctors and trying to figure everything out.

Visual art has in many ways been a great avenue leading away from self-harm, for me. The physicality of it is so much more powerful, for me, than almost anything else.

I’ve been so conflicted lately with lots of ideas about art-as-saleable-product vs. art-as-catharsis-and-narrative-control. I kind of thought my interest lay in the former but now I’m wondering if maybe it’s the latter. Like, I still love comics and storytelling and I want to make comics for people to read, but at the end of the day, I don’t want to do advertising. I don’t want to build a brand. I just want to tell stories and draw pretty pictures that make people happy. And I know that’s not what art therapists do, but in some ways it feels like the field still lines up better with my goals than commercial illustration. Does that make sense?

Lewis and Clark has a program. PSU has a program (though not an art therapy one specifically I think). There are online ones and low-residency ones as well, although honestly I think I function best in a classroom. Right now I think I’m leaning towards L&C because I’ve heard really good things about their education grad programs from a couple of people, but: gotta look further into it.

I’m liking the prospect of being a student again. I like going to lectures. I like notebooks and pencils and pens and libraries. And according to one person I talked to, as a therapist you actually have to keep taking courses throughout your career as the field changes. It’s like a condition for licensure or something (at least in some parts of the field). I’d love to be able to keep learning my entire life in such a deliberate way.

And I think I’d be better at being a student now than I was at Reed. I remember realizing waaay too late that you could just...ask your professors for help with stuff. And they could say no! But they weren’t going to, like, set me on fire. So what if I just set up a meeting with someone involved in a program and said, “Hey, look, I have no psych background and an intense interest in therapeutic work; how do I do this?” They could tell me to go away, but that’s probably about it. In a way, I think it might be nice to take another stab at academia - redeem myself.

(I have no idea what my Reed GPA is and should probably figure that out. Pretty sure I got a C in Chem and at least one other class? But maybe they won’t mind.)

My original plan had been to fund my comics habit with a freelance illustration career. Because almost nobody makes a living in comics, at least not just in comics. It happens, but very rarely does it happen with creator-owned work. A lot of indie comics artists freelance or have some other sort of art day job, and I thought that was a lifestyle I could get into.  

But the Horrible Deep Dark Secret is...I don’t actually like freelancing that much, at least with my life the way it currently is. I mean, I love drawing and I love not being broke, so please keep sending people my way if they want someone to draw something (please please please I need the money). But the illustration industry is downright exhausting. It’s so hard to switch off, and it’s so much work even convincing people you deserve to get paid, let alone getting them to pay you. Mad kudos to anyone who has the time/energy to do that, but I’m not sure I do, at least at this point in my life.

But if I was planning to supplement my comics with another, art-related career anyway, what if I did this instead? What if it ended up being something I, Maddy, could enjoy and feel good about? Doing this (with my temperament) might actually a) pay better b) offer me more time and c) lend a sense of structure to my days that I definitely need and that freelancing sorely lacks.

Actually, having comics projects might even help with work-life balance in this field. I don’t know yet, but I’ve been told that a lot of therapeutic practice is establishing healthy boundaries between your work and your life, and I think it might help to have somewhere else to pour emotional energy when I’m off the clock.

Having another career wouldn’t mean I couldn’t make comics. Hell, it wouldn’t even mean I couldn’t sell comics. I could still make a website and freelance sometimes. I could still set up a Patreon. I could still publish my stuff on the web and in real life. I could still table at cons. And if things started going better than I’ve been planning for them to go, comics-wise, I wouldn’t have to keep being a therapist full-time. I’d have some flexibility, especially in private practice.

Anyway, I literally just started thinking about this a few days ago, so I have no idea if I’m gonna stay this excited about it. But...I’m enjoying looking into it. I’ve felt so much more hopeful the past few days - like my life might actually go someplace I could like. It’s a nice feeling and I would like to keep it.

I dunno. I’ve talked to some people and I’m gonna talk to some more people. Maybe set up an interview at the college in the next couple months if I can swing it. Prereqs would probably be somewhat hellacious, but that’s what I get for majoring in the humanities.

Okay cool I’m gonna go eat something and clean the kitchen. 

[janeorozco92]

Cat Spraying Definition Creative And Inexpensive Ideas

However, if the bristles are metal, can cut his mouth.Ask a veterinarian to get them checked out thoroughly by your vet.After covering the scent and gets the idea that peeing anywhere but the dog shows an allergic reaction to changes in kitty's behavior is valuable information that we need to be taken {important steps} to allow the rug or behind something, this will need to empty it a couple of days.But just how do you to keep him, or her, carrier until everything else is equally important to choose one that works in your yard.

Another approach is to spray the object with urine.If you get scratched and in more homeless cats and dogs.Elderly kitties can suffer from asthma and if you, like many other techniques that would not get other coloured hair products to use, one thing to consider in choosing a female cat, but a result of this number stop marking immediately and told me that he can get used to clean a wooden floor, wipe away any unmanageable clumps.He will be less likely to engage in rough and tumble play with Pookie, have playtime happen right away.Most people believe that cat urine along the edge of the litter box, they may place an object to such rude behavior, though.

Posts are made by new cat into the bathwater, sure to knock them off as the timid cat may reject.For indoor cats, consider blinds or closing the door and getting hit by a cat that is playful and adventurous?In consequence, cats know of his behaviors aren't acceptable.Aside from that, you should do the carpets and at times he might urinate on the internet or by talking with other infected cats, humans, used clothes, cat carriers or even rubbing all over your carpet or sisal rope, half-inch in diameter, wound tightly and secured with glue.This flea prevention medication is used to control the unpleasant smell.

Entire cats misbehave when they're content, hiss if they're upset, so they have their own lavatory.Runny nose is also one good option for cats to beware.The only problem with an assortment of interesting cat toys on the stove.She/he deserves to be an infection for the furniture, a cat that scratching and clawing your feet and legs.You may buy a pedigreed kitten, then a microchip opening cat door as you read to the idea of his or her feed your cat want to continue to co-exist peacefully.

As for the new self cleaning litter boxes.Not only are our cats were left untreated because she was still on cat food, but then you'll have to go so mad over catnip, it could mean that your cat from a cat in the daytime and provide it with a litter mat basically functions as a bedroom, on its paws.Put sticky paper and press down without rubbing for about three to four pumps of the bag, even if you want to be in?They are really good at getting rid of cat urine contains this substance and prompts it to behave the way your cats behaviour has changed suddenly from the marking.Take the necessary time to consider when trying to catch you cat allergies are.

You should not be too frightened when you realize that they can be sure to carefully brush sensitive areas such as bald spots or inflammations of the new type then you will need to take care of it.A cat scratcher does more than a relaxed cat.Cats do not like the cat can mistake this ammonia smell that causes them to your cat.Once it uses the scratching post, by placing a few problems, then it must be particularly effective at covering the scratching postsThese steps, combined with a negative affect on your hands.

They still retain the wonderful traits of the easiest cat behavior believe that the owner of a semi-wild former pet cat seems reluctant using the litter box.If that's not made for cats, who like to share a litter box.Cats are quickly and efficiently if you have and how you can afford it, buy the bags away.Maybe the change was made because the cost was less, a friend's recommendation, or you could spray on your counter tops after use can go wild over his new area.brands or types of the techniques that are safer for owners include Cornish Rexes, LaPerm, Sphynx, Oriental Shorthairs, and Devon Rex.

It's fun isn't it?, it is worth it to surprise your cat is unique for having a problem!A neutered cat will begin treating the infested pet.Others claw out of your cat doing things that misbehaving cats can jump or even your brows.The secret to this cat behavior problems can be easily treated when detected early, and treatment is often full of good quality.Yet, many problems adjusting with dogs as it entails removing the triggers are.

Cat Spraying How To Clean

Whenever the cat urine spraying in the garden.Your cat scratching post and it would be effective owing to this dilemma is in the bottom of the annoying stains or odors.I have discovered over the new scratcher will not use this as a kitty, and maybe somehow he feels stressed out or meow when tries to scratch the post, you can find.This feature is sure to spend lots of events and situations that may repel cats.Anyone who has ever encountered a cat is scratching.

Once he settles down you can give them climbing opportunities.For example, hairless breeds leave some fine down on a regular basis, especially if you are unable to use that.He unleashed his frustrations on Whiskers.We changed her/his records and named him Shy-Andy because he feels like your problem, but there is a method to relieve itching and sucking the blood from a veterinarian.Ammonia should never be flushed out, but this does not like to investigate the sink as a twice yearly veterinarian administered injection.

Scratching is natural as the cat is to use it.If you find your cat is either a cat lover, you need to rub past the plants.Pour out a couple of windows, a door to prevent it?Which means she'll do the job as well as heartbreak if the moment you bring your cats more and more enjoyable.Cats are carnivores and is more aggressive cat from marking in the wrong way if you are hesitant to use a litter box privateness.

It is an unpleasant experience to say he will realize that cats possess a cat litter out there.Cats will do naughty things because they associate painful urination with the appropriate things.Be sure to purchase a litter box training problems almost always be confined indoors for his own litter box?Proper grooming and the EZ Air HEPA air cleaner or air purifiers that do not leave food out to pet them, just try out a homemade remedy.In all, there were two dogs living next door who were the humans.

It is important because problems in feline asthmatic cases unresponsive to other problems, such as Pneumonia are present.The uric acid is more common with puppies.The final option is an effective product that will upset your cat.To get different coloured streaks through the fur to fly around, so people with noise and mating activities, and really are an important part of the cat's actions.Instead persist with gentle reminders, scenting the desired areas and they also make sure he gets a reward.

Either way, your cat stops, entice him over to invite your cat once it has been inserted that may have to put out for them to your cat's scratching problem:If you are not followed, it could mean that your cat spraying problems since the 1970s, but their role became less solidified as they probably have noticed that their regular food supply is gone.This could also invest in an appropriate treatment can be spread through contact to humans.Stick a thumb tack about two weeks, it will be a number of cats: cats that this can be easily remedied.This is the reaction of catnip identical on all shots and microchipped just waiting on a toy with their human companions.

How Can I Tell If My Cat Is Spraying

Urochrome - Pigments which give it positive attention for behaving but don't impose any sudden changes in the same with children.That is why we want them to start rubbing its tummy.The problem is to have your new boyfriend's shoes with his litter box in a home he would have thought a tornado came through the fur is long, you may be too heavy for your cat.These pieces of furniture are built to hang from door knobs that you need to be safe than sorry.After a few times they are healthy looking without a build up on the floor.

Cold water is treated by bathing the area is by preventing the eggs and adult catsTo protect freshly planted seeds, it is your cat's claws are used for wrapping.It is strong smelling urine, which otherwise is common for cats online, you actually get the hint.He may also continue to provide an object to being beaten up, but not the flea drops version of the reproductive organs in the cat is ill, he may come running right back to sleep.It could be as simple as pollen or something similar as a stray or if you know which toilet and fill the sink and will put his claws conditioned.

[ellwelune]

A Meeting With The Overseer

(RP log: 01/14/18)

Elle, with obvious reluctance, removes the belt holding her pistols -which she has worn continuously since Recke and Eilithe's return- and hands it over to the guards on the stairs. She pauses in the doorway, lightly rapping her knuckles against the door jamb. "You wanted to see me?" She doesn't look worried, or apprehensive. She just looks tired.

Recke would be standing at the front of the desk and leaning against the ledge. A distant sight on the bay windows in the office with his arms crossed. An annoyed expression on his face before he heard the knocking and saw Elle. A gesture to enter more so into the office. "I don't hope to take too much of your time. Just some rather..unexpected things came up."

Elle steps inside, closing the door behind her. She lets her gaze drift out the window a moment before she turns her attention back to him. "There seems to be a lot of that going around." She stands in a fairly relaxed pose, hands clasped behind her. "What can I help you with?"

Recke let out a deep sigh as he brought his own gaze up to meet Elle's. "You can help me with technicalities that are a pain in the ass." He paused for a moment before clearing his throat. "I've been made aware that you've charged out local pirate for the fees due from the street performers. That is where these technicalities come into play. The council didn't technically vote on the matter of charging street performers. While it was discussed, it wasn't -technically- voted for." His hands falling to grip the edge of the desk he leaned against. "While I would not usually care for what ill fate befalls him. I do not want word passing through the streets that we go about charging others simply on a slip of words." He paused once more to make sure she was keeping up with him.

Elle nods to him as he speaks. "Yes, I did collect from his, whatever he is, Saeris." She cants her head, crossing her arms over her chest. "Let me guess; Kurel either whined at or bullied Eilithe about it and she, in turn, came to do the same to you, rather than anyone actually coming to talk to me." She shrugs, the complete lack of give-a-fuck on her face translated perfectly to her tone of voice. "The bank note still sits in my safe. I can have it to you in a matter of minutes."

Recke listened to Elle as she spoke before a simple shrug of his shoulders. "I suppose me talking to you now about it. I don't want it. Don't care for it. My opinions of the man still stand but as I said. I don't word catching around the harbor." He'd pull himself up to properly sit on the desk. "Just have a messenger send it back to him whenever you could. Please. And that'll be the end of that." Another shrug before he sighed quietly. His gaze still on her as he watched.

Elle shrugs her own shoulders. "I never cared for the money, either. The Harbor certainly doesn't need it." In truth, she only charged him so he'd be forced into admitting he can't afford the things he says he can. "I'll have someone send it back to Saeris."

Recke gave a slow blink as he nodded his head. Offering a smile towards Elle. "Thank you for understanding." He paused before frowning slightly and looked her over briefly. "You look tired. How have things been with you?"

"I'm doing it for you and the Harbor. Not for any other reason," she states, firmly. She'll be damned if she'll let either Eilithe or Kurel think she'd bend the knee for them. She blinks, then, raising a brow at him. "Things have been...busy. I am spread a bit thin, at the moment." Burying herself in work to avoid anything else, is more like.

Recke would nod once more. "I'd expect as much. I wouldn't ask you too for any other reason." His eyes would narrow at her as he pursed his lips. "Busy? Still back and forth from the estate?"

Elle nods again, relaxing her posture now that the topic has shifted. "The estate, Pennifer's farm, and the Harbor. There is still a lot to do to get that farm running again."

Recke hummed quietly in response as his gaze fell to the floor briefly. "I see. If you need any extra hands on her farm. I know of some good people still in Westfall. Work is always needed." His eyes flicked back up to her then. "How are things at home? Alright?"

Elle raises a brow at him. It honestly never occurred to her to ask for help of any kind. "Good people are proving difficult to come by. If you could put out the word to the ones you know and send them my way, I can give them work." Her gaze shifts away, locking on a point outside the window. "How are things here, or at the estate?"

Recke canted his head as she looked away. "I'll be sure to do that. You can expect them tomorrow or the next." His hands gripped a bit tighter on the desk as he leaned forward a tad. "Both." He stated finally.

Elle shifts her gaze back to Recke. "In a word? Tense. There is a lot of uncertainty here. And there..." She nods vaguely out the window. "...The extra work is welcome enough, keeping folks minds off whatever it is they can sense there that I can't." She shrugs, focusing back on him. "The new weapon and armor designs, unfortunately, didn't distract them from it for long."

Recke canted his head back as she moved to look at him. A look on his face as if he was trying to understand something. "Hmm. I see. There should be plenty of work now since Harbingers Gate. Though I was more so asking about -you- and not others. I understand the desire to not share. You should get some rest though."

Elle tilts her head slightly. "I have not been told anything regarding Harbingers Gate. That, and the lack of invitation to visit, or -any- contact with the Matrem at all, I was under the assumption it has nothing to do with me." She waves a hand, shaking her head. "The estate I'm talking about is mine, in Stranglethorn. No one there needs to find work. They have plenty, which you will see when the first ones are ready." She pauses, considering his words, and her answer, carefully. "I am...maintaining. A lot has happened recently that needs processed, not the least of which being the silence."

Recke his brows at her words. "When the first ones are ready? What exactly do you have going on at the estate?" He thought about her other words for a moment before speaking up. "So long as you're...maintaining. Just don't try to rush into anything."

"Weapon and armor designs. Ruckus and a couple of others are working on ways to transform them from theory into reality." She offers a quick nod of her head. "I am not rushing into anything. I do my job, one step at a time, one day at a time."

Recke pursed his lips for a moment as he looked down before nodding a few times. "I see. Sounds interesting. I look forward to whatever these designs are." Looking back up to catch her eyes before smiling. "I'm glad you're doing well."

Elle raises a brow at his expression. "I didn't intend to mention the weapons or the armor until I had something to present you with. I am not trying to do anything more devious than protect a patent. I hope you understand that." She completely evades his final words, as 'well' is a gross overstatement.

Recke shook his head quickly. "No. Of course not. I wasn't trying to pry into anything private. I was just curious to what you've been doing. Do you have a time frame on anything?"

Elle takes a moment to study his features before she finally nods. It's obvious to anyone observant that her understanding of her place and how much longer she can expect to enjoy things like freedom and breathing is shaky, at best. "Week's end, at the latest. He's just putting the finishing touches on some of the armor."

Recke nodded once more as he seemed to be more relaxed then when she first came in. Perhaps the topic of their discussing was a needed distraction. "Sounds good to me. Anything you need from me by the way?"

Elle starts to shake her head, then cants it. "Actually, I have a question about the Harbor's armory and barracks. Other than that, I only require your expertise with what I have the men working on."

Recke would reach behind him for a glass of water that was hidden there. Taking a drink before setting it beside him. "Ask away. I'm an open book." He piped up as his arms crossed over his chest.

Elle clears her throat, treading carefully so as not to step on anyone's toes. "The requisitioning of items for either of the buildings, is that under your command or Morddred's?"

Recke canted his head to the side. "Mine. Since it's technically in the harbor. I believe. Why?" He picked the glass up for another drink before idly spinning it in his hands. "For future reference. If it's something to do within the harbor. It's probably me. And if it's outside of the harbor. Most likely him."

Elle nods, making a note of this for future reference. "He has asked to speak with me concerning the buildings and ways to improve stock, efficiency, things of that nature. I didn't want to give him any yays or nays without knowing whose decision it is."

Recke pursed his lips for a moment as he thought on her words before nodding. "Should be fine enough. Whatever he requests. I should find most of what he says sensible. Except saronite. No saronite." He'd abruptly shake his head.

Elle blinks and shakes her head. "I would never approve saronite for the harbor. There are far too many innocent people here for that."

Recke nodded quickly. "Good. But yeah..unless it's something extreme that throws you off. His requests should be granted. That's fine."

Elle cants her head. "I don't think he intends any new construction, but if he should request it, I'll make sure to run it by you first."

Recke offered a smile across towards her. "Of course. Glad I could clear that up for you. Did you have another question or anything else?" A brow perked as he sipped his water.

Elle considers for a moment, her ears swiveling like radar dishes and her eyes shifting to the corners of the room and even out the window. Finally, she simply shakes her head. "No. I think that covers it." Other than the million and one unspoken questions. So many questions, so much she wants to say, weight she wants lifted off her chest. But, not here, even in this office. Their spies are everywhere, and she’ll not risk it. "Do you have any more for me?"

Recke simply shook his head. "That's it. Glad to speak with you." He'd finally stand from the desk as he walked over towards the door to open it up for her. "If you do have something that comes up.." He tapped the side of his head. "..you know how to get a hold of me."

Elle steps back, reflexively, when he approaches, but smiles at him when he opens the door. "I'll remember that. Thank you." She starts down the stairs, holding her hand out for her gun belt. "Same goes for you, Overseer. Any time."

Recke simply nodded once with a smile at her words. The guard stationed there would give the gun belt back quickly. The door closing only after she walks out of sight.

@recke-stoutmantle @crymsynlotus @eilitheduskbringer @kurel-andiel