#if only allah can judge someone why do you feel that you have the right to do it?

[llegato]

the way modesty is weaponized against muslim girls is so fucking disgusting it makes me feel sick

[apollos-olives]

wow thank you again for the great reply. i honestly never knew gender dysphoria could be like that so please forgive my ignorance. i was aware of it's existence but like we both said, my not being trans will never truly understand your being trans. i also appreciate the analogies because that does put it into perspective as well. Suicide of course should be prevented, and if transitioning is truly the only way to prevent it, then Allah knows best.

religious trauma is something i greatly identify with - having attended a Muslim school and being subjected to blatant misogyny as well as being the daughter of a revert who married into a culturally Muslim family, and growing up in a household that didn't really practice either - i totally understand why queer Muslims may feel distant from Islam and I do not judge them whatsoever because someone leaving the folds of Islam truly says more about their community. However, what I learnt from my own trauma and healing from that is that at the end of the day, we do have our own choices and we can choose whether to open our hearts back to the religion or not. ofc this statement is easier said than done.

Regarding queerness and children - I did not word myself correctly and forgot to mention what you have mentioned. I don't believe that being queer is inherently sexual and I apologize if it came out that way. You are right in saying people don't have a problem when heterosexual people make assumptions but will immediately have a problem when someone who is non-hetero does. It is hypocrisy and I admit that, I am not against children learning about people who are queer or even what queer means, my concerns are merely with people who hypersexualise under the guise of being lgbtq+ activists and in the same breath I will say that I feel the same way about heterosexual people who sexualise kids.

Where I stand, as long as Bi'dah is not committed, for example, free mixing in salah or roles of men and women interchanging when it comes to the practices of Islam, I genuinely have no qualms with anyone.

I have honestly learnt so much more in these two replies than I have learnt through media and discussions with people who identify as part of the community and for that i am truly grateful. many of your points allowed me to question my own perspective of queerness as well as to challenge myself regarding how I actually view people who are different than myself.

All in all, my stance on lgbtq+ hasn't changed much in the sense that I can agree with anything and everything that the community preaches but I have become more aware that not everyone who belongs to it shares the same opinions and not every Muslim who is queer/non-hetero hates or blatantly chooses to reject Islam. I do think that this discussion has been fruitful and it's a conversation I'm glad to have had, especially since it's civil, hopefully from both our perspectives.

Allah truly knows best, regardless of my view or your view and we all are Muslim and hopefully striving towards the end goal in the Hereafter. We should focus on the issues on hand and spread Islam through its meaning and not on our own prejudice because you as a queer Muslim may be doing much more good than I, a heterosexual Muslim, am currently.

Thank you for the discussion and may Allah bless you ♥️

no worries thank you so much for being so respectful and understanding! most muslims i meet aren't willing to listen to people they don't agree with so it's very refreshing that you're being so open to trying to listen to me. it's very heartwarming :)

alhamdulillah i'm glad you understand the struggles of being trans and how queer muslims may stray away from islam because of religious trauma. and you're absolutely right that at the end of the day, allah knows best and it is always up to the person to choose the right path for them.

and thank you for clarifying your stance on the whole children situation. and yes you are correct that people do use the lgbtq+ community to try to get away with stuff that is deemed unacceptable! unfortunately the community is facing hardship because people are abusing the openness and acceptance of the community and sometimes are using it as an excuse to do bad things, which most people in the queer community condemn and are actively trying to fight against! and even then, those situations are kept to a minimum and are handled as best as possible, and the occurrence of those problems are not as common as people think, actually. but i do understand how you may be concerned and that's totally fine, but i want to assure you that it's not common at all and most of the lgbtq+ community want to protect kids as much as possible!

i don't have much of an opinion on bi'dah and whatnot, but your beliefs are very valid and i totally respect them as well :)

i'm so happy that i could help educate you and give you insight about how queerness affects me and other muslims. i'm so glad that you were open to listening. it's totally okay if my insight hasn't changed your opinions very much, i'm just glad to have been able to be given an opportunity to share my perspective as a queer muslim. and you are right that the muslim community as a whole must drop their prejudices and all reach to strive for jannah in the afterlife. inshallah we can all have good discussions like we did in jannah as well :)

[kinfriday]

Savagery

It’s hard to know how to feel as I’ve been going through the history of the Viking age peoples.  

On one hand they were profoundly inclusive, traveling the world, inviting other cultures to trade, and even including some of them. People with Persian DNA have been found in graves, along with rings with Allah inscribed upon them.  

What’s more we have written firsthand accounts, some of the only surviving, of Viking funerary rites from traders, and many historians now believe that the ancient Silk Road had its western terminus in Scandanavia. 

While gender roles seemed to have been strictly enforced, women still had the ability to own property, or serve as warriors. There even seems to be evidence, though it would be easy to read too much into it, that the Vikings were comfortable with a type of non-human identity in some.  

In a vacuum all of this sounds amazing. Here we have a warrior culture, that also traded and welcomed others and had at least some degree of respect for women as they ventured across the world.  

Truly, they must be a model of 9th century progressive values and ideals.  

Not so fast...  

While, to a degree welcoming, worldly, and inclusive, our spiritual ancestors were also, at the very same time, terrible people. A bulk of the slave trading in Europe came from the Viking World. Rape, and the murder of children was an acceptable war tactic, and virtually anything could be done to a person one owned, even up to murder, with little to no consequence.  

Human sacrifice to the Gods was common and means of justice were shockingly brutal.  

None of this existed in a vacuum. The Christian kingdoms of this era were at least as bad, and in some ways worse, as were the Romans. You aren’t going to find a human society that is without its horrors, and if you read the legends, even the Gods do reprehensible things.  

As I’ve grown in my knowledge of the legends, I find it interesting that, from my perspective, Ragnarök was a preventable tragedy. Loki’s three monstrous children are bound, but the why is at best hazy, and with Fenrir it’s an outrage.  

The Gods feared the great wolf, but nothing that survives ever indicates he was a threat. Perhaps we should trust the wisdom of Woden here, perhaps he had some foresight, but all we have from the legends is fear, and it is his binding that sets up the great cascade of events that culminate in the death of the Gods themselves.  

I wonder if one of the reasons Loki went after Baldr, was a result of Woden binding Loki’s son unjustly.  

One might be surprised to see such sentiment from me, but the Gods call me to be honest, and the one thing they never claim to be in all the legends is perfect, nor do they claim to be unchangeable.  

As said, they even face death, which is an ultimate form of change, perhaps the most necessary kind.  

I say this because I realize I am not so different from the ancestors. While many might see my actions as progressive, or even virtuous as a vegan, as someone that strives to go fair trade with her clothing, chocolate and bananas etc. Striving isn’t good enough, is it?  

I’m writing this on a computer that was built with conflict minerals, it’s unavoidable. Most likely some ten year old child working his fingers to the bone mined the cobalt for my fancy electronics.  

Migrants denied any pathway to legal or easy immigration into this country are exploited to grow my food. Some of my clothing was most likely made in sweatshops.  

We like to think that we’ve come far as a society, and we have. We now keep our slave labor, our exploitation of others firmly out of sight while we pat ourselves on the back for wearing hemp and shopping at Whole Foods, judging those that came before us with a type of virtuous horror.  

And it’s not fair to them, and it won’t be fair to us when, five or ten generations down, they look at us as brutal savages either.  

I don’t think anything can make many of the actions of our ancestors right, or understandable, but I think to honor them properly we must look at them with honesty and as lessons of what not to do, how not to be, as much as how to be.  

I see this with the Gods too, and the chronicling of their savagery and past mistakes recorded in the mythology. Woden is not the same God that he was a thousand years ago, he has grown and changed. I am deeply convinced of this. What’s more, the culture that interpreted, or misinterpreted his actions is now gone, and we’re left with our, in some ways, more progressive time where we can forge new relationships with these High Ones.  

Nothing is static, nothing will ever be perfect, but in every era, every time, there were at least a handful, some known, some unknown, that bucked the trend, that sought to be better than the world they were raised in and went beyond what they were given.  

There were people who freed their slaves, fought for justice, or never kept another human being because it just felt wrong. There were noble warriors who never harmed a child or violated a woman in a village.  

They may have been few, they may have done their good deeds under a cloak of eternal anonymity, but we have the same choice.  

I can’t stop it all, but I can stop some. I can’t keep myself from benefiting 100% in the privileged position I exist in, but I can use that privilege to shout from the rooftops and intervene for those that have none.  

We are our deeds, in totality. Much is made of being a warrior in many modern heathen paths. Well, I feel my war is within, and against every systemic cruelty that exists in the world.  

It may be my Jörmungandr, it may be the end of me, but as long as I’m working to do better, and be better, than I feel I am honoring the Ancestors and the Gods.  

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Christopher Hitchens on Islam

I can't shake what I heard, saw once on the BBC from someone whose career in London I followed. Don't know if you know him, you wouldn't like him: Anjem Choudary. A very well-known noise maker around London, complaining about secularism, Judaism, this kind of thing, been trouble with the law a few times.

And was interviewed on BBC, went on about how nothing would change until the green flag of Islam was flying over Downing Street and Buckingham Palace, and so forth.

And was asked, I thought quite mildly by BBC interviewer, said, well if this is the way you feel about Sharia, about the total Islamic rule, wouldn't you feel happier moving to a country where they already had it?

Which is a polite question, a rather cheap one, I mean, but still. Didn't prepare me for the answer, which Choudary looked straight at the guy and straight into camera, said what "makes you think this is your country?"

In Islam, humans have the right to govern human societies and manage the affairs of humans.

... until they are offered Islam.

As far as Islam is concerned, the world already belongs to Allah. And it’s not merely the case that only Allah may be worshipped (per the shahada), but also only Allah may rule. Humans can form their little governments and make their little rules while they don’t know better. Until Islam comes to save them from the tyranny of human laws, so they can be freed to submit to Allah instead, who is already in charge of everything, the people just didn’t know.

In theocracies like Iran, they don’t really “make” laws. All the laws, everything humanity will ever need has already been given to them by Islam. These theocratic governments don’t actually create laws, they find them in the scripture. Allah has already told them whether ringtones are haram or halal, his human agents just need to be pious enough to recognize his wisdom.

That’s why an Islamist lunatic like Anjem Choudary can deadpan say “what makes you think this is your country?” He already knows that it’s Allah’s land.

Well now, just you transfer yourself to Somalia last week.

A girl of 13, probably out for the first time unsupervised in her life. Things must have been very bad if she was allowed out without male supervision to begin with. But there's enough chaos to explain that. She's immediately pounced upon by a group of older men and very thoroughly raped and sodomized and beaten.

And she goes to the religious court for redress, and the religious court knows its business. And it knows its texts very well, and it says "we don't know that it's true what you say, that men abused you in this manner. But we can tell you've had sex. In fact, judging by your injuries, we can tell you've had a great deal of sex lately. But you're not married, so you're guilty of adultery."

So now, before your wounds have stopped hurting, you're going to be buried up to your waist in hot sand and laughing men will now take part in the only other cultural activity that gratifies the male sex in that part of the world, which is stoning that young woman to death.

The people who did this knew exactly what they were doing, and they were in perfect conformity with their holy books, and they absolutely do not believe that anything happens randomly. They are not under the illusion that heaven is indifferent. They're not under the illusion that we are biologically created, that we're here because of the laws of natural selection and random mutation. They don't believe anything of the sort.

They're utterly consoled by the idea that heaven intervenes and cares about every action, otherwise they wouldn't put themselves to the trouble of raping, torturing and murdering a thirteen-year-old whose last moments you might want to take just a few seconds to imagine.

[tasmiq]

Holiday Sohbet: 5 July 2024

Alhamdulillah (Divine praise), ours is an endless Sufi ocean of learning. Without further adieu, Bismillah (In, for, and with that name, I begin) ...

#1. Shaykh Nishaat began by remarking on the privilege we enjoy on the Sufi path, as hard as it may be. I have always found it spiritually daunting yet liberating that emphasis is put on one's own agency as a force of transformation of one's ego. As opposed to drowning in despair of humanity's madness, we focus on controlling our own role in it, insha'Allah. Being on the Sufi path, he said, means that you have been chosen! He immediately qualified that it doesn't mean that you are superior or part of a chosen race but chosen to represent the essence and true form of Prophet Muhammad SAW and all the Prophets.

When we Sufis take bayat (an oath of allegiance), Allah says, 'My hand is over your hand.' We have therefore been chosen for this path! We have to consider how we are living our lives in every moment. Most of us are living unconsciously, like Zombies. We neither truly listen nor hear because that involves a willing action and a need for change. However, if we choose the right actions, we become a Salik (Seeker) that is in a constant motion of improvement. As Hazrat Ali said, 'You should not be the same person in the day as the night!'

The heartsmith powerfully declared a mysterious but tangible truth, where every action that we are involved in should remind us of Allah's presence. We should be with people that remind us of Allah, as our Sufi Tariqa does in a real way; whether in our weekly congregational Zikr, weekly Saturday Sohbet, biweekly Learning circles and annual Sufi retreats. We have so many opportunities to nurture our spiritual growth with like-minded hearts, who become as important as our blood relatives. He then woke my sensibilities by remarking, 'Imagine, if Allah treated us, the way we treat Him?!' We have to prioritise Allah in our everyday lives and struggles. Islam is a beautiful road where we come with nothing, accumulate anything we can in our worldly existence, and leave with nothing to be returned to our source, that is Allah! Alhamdulillah that we are choosing to live our worldly existence with consciousness through Sufism:

Shukran Ya Allah (Divine gratitude!)

#2. Anne (our spiritual mother) weaved a mystical reality that we may think that only our Anbiya' (blessed Prophets) and senior spiritual mentors can achieve, which is the mystical being of Nur a'la nur (Light upon light). She provided tender motherly care by saying:

"When you intend to be a true human being, and your heart activates sultani ruh and ruhani ruh - there are many levels. So, we mustn't dismiss it as a personal impossibility because it is happening to you when you have a connection with Allah ...

... When that happens, your heart is activated a hundred percent where your outer and inner being is light. This is one way of experiencing light upon light in this world. With activation and connection, it drives action - however, what is that action? When we are in the world, and we are light upon light, we are radiating Allah's energy."

However, as someone who has often been identified as being deep or soulful, I was still prone to making horrible life mistakes in spite of it! Anne continued to shed light itself as she explained further;

"We might think that it is wonderful and good, it is, but when we go into some places, chaos ensues around you! This place is taken over by negative energies, and then Allah's light walks in there, carried by you. It can cause chaos without you having to do or say anything. You can step into a situation feeling positive, and then chaos unfolds, and you wonder why it is happening! ...

... So, you become a carrier of Allah's light, and some of you think that when you're totally connected to Allah, your life itself becomes paradise. Maybe that is so inwardly, but outwardly, this is the world of action. Allah judges the action here."

She went deeper to explain the benefits of being connected to Allah and the mechanics of how it guides one's actions;

"A connected person does what Allah wants them to do, and are guided by their heart because now seyrani ruh is in their heart, and getting messages directly. This world is not meant to be a paradise! It is where all the energy is mixed from millions of people at this interaction point. Here, at this interaction point, what do you do, and who do you represent? You represent Allah. This is your intention and your choice ...

... What happens then? You choose. It is like looking into the mirror. If you are seeing Allah in the mirror, do you take your eyes off the mirror? No, because you want to see what is going on and what Allah wants you to do. So, in a sense, this is an energetic representation of Allah's world on earth. This is why Sufism talks about seeing Allah in everything because it is an energetic representation of Allah ..."

#3. Her endearing empathy knows no limits where she could emphasise the merits and mechanism of reconnecting with Allah when we have disconnected, even with the means that maintain our connection, such as our daily assignment and Wazifa.

"How do you connect to Allah? When you find that, that defines the peace in your heart. And my job is to support you in this so we have to talk. My job is to help you catch those moments that you're connected to Allah."

Anne asked us to note what our individual soul-reviving activities that spark our reconnection to Allah are. For me personally, post-accident;

i. It was the transference of my former research skills where your Abbu was inspired by necessity to make me deliver our Jumu'ah Khutbah / Sohbet ! I gained the ability to see, feel, reconnect, and speak to and about Allah like never before!

ii. As a former senior martial arts student, I am reconnecting to my reverence of martial arts, and even more meaningfully, through Silat.

iii. Reconnecting to my artistic ability by marrying it to my former study of Qur'anic Arabic. I was recently inspired to compile this artwork of Panjathan Pak for your Mimi (my sister-in-law), as you know. Subhana'Allah (Divine glory), in spite of the fact that I am a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) survivor, and I can't use my trustee right hand completely.

Above: My rendition of Panjathan Pak, the purified souls with whom I was blessed to connect with because of your beloved Mimi's birthday.

In conclusion, we end your second term school holiday with gratitude to Allah. We also request that your Nana's health be quickly restored, Insha'Allah. Allah bless both your Nana and Nanu for the immense love that they give you. Shukran Ya Allah, for the safe arrival of the new soul of your niece, pauppy Zaynab.

[muneersecstasy]

There's a constant battle going inside my head.

There's a constant battle going inside my head. My conscience(Zameer) conflicting with my Nafs. I keep hearing some voices from time to time coming from inside of me, in my mind. I don't understand where do they come from or it is Shaytan who's whispering them in my ears. Stopping me from approaching opportunities. Ceasing my capacity of rational thinking. Making me self-judgmental. Compelling me to start doubting my ownself, my own capabilities. Making me saying things to myself like you're worthless, you’re lazy, you’re stupid, you’re unlovable, etc. Which is eventually making me hate myself. However, forgetting how could you hate yourself? Despite, When Allahﷻ loves you the most. Heﷻ loves you more than seventy mothers. When our prophet Muhammad ﷺ loves you the most. How?

Maybe the reason behind procrastinating over everything is also these voices. Making me lazier day by day. And when I procrastinate, I judge myself pretty harshly, telling myself I’m not a good person, I'm just like a sack of potatoes. Moreover, what concerns me is that everyone is productive and are achieving their goals, except me. Asking myself why I'm not good enough?Somedays, these voices inside of me don't even let me sleep. Spending nights overthinking. Yet, i forget that we're human beings. Our lord created us as humans. And every human has different capabilities and potentialities on the basis of which, we work accordingly. We make mistakes, making us aware of what needs to be changed in order to improve. Besides, every human has their vices too. With whom a person constantly battles or either befriend them, that means to become slave of 'em. These vices or lusts are also aroused by our nafs. When Shaytan and nafs team up against us. They trick us in different different ways with gimmicks and deceptions, to make us go astray. But we should stay steadfast on our deen, and ask Allahﷻ for help and protection from evil. However, we make mistakes, we learn and we overcome. Nevertheless, we do keep repeating some of our mistakes untill we learn from them. Though, people don't see our struggles and just kept throwing their words as knives. They don't think that their mouths could work like a bows and words like arrows. And could criticality damage one's feelings. Even if they kill someone, someday. But who cares. And it is also their words behind the growth of these voices. It isn't easy to win over these voices. It is our conscience which help us to keep fighting the inner battle, against the things that we don't speak out. These troubles we've got may arises through the traumatic events we experience or have experienced. It just end up making a chaos inside your head. It feels like a graveyard, occasionally we end up burying something inside of us. In the end, what we came to realise is that these voices are nothing but created by our own Nafs, when befriended by Shaytan. ["Auzubillahi-Minashaitan-Nirajeem": I seek refuge in Allah from the outcast Shaitan.] And, as for the thoughts, it can be seen as an example of a pathway where different passersby passes and it's upto you to whom do you have to pay attention to. If you gave your attention to the wrong one, it will eventually harm you. And for the right one, it will be beneficial for you. ["In-Sha-Allah": if Allah wills.] And to make a difference between the right and wrong, our conscience works. And ask Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى): "Ya Rabb, grant me the strength to change the things i can, the courage to accept the things i can't, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Somethings are better to be left unsaid. “Whether you conceal what is in your hearts or reveal it, Allah will know it.” He knows what is in the heavens and what is in the earth. Allah is powerful over everything.[ Aal-Imran | 3:29] Indeed. He's all knowing: Rab-ul-alameen. Our pain is as temporary as this world. Every disease has it's cure. Verily, it is our lord who shall heal the chest of his believers. Whosoever believe in his guidance and mercy, his heart will be cured. "...And (He) shall heal the breast of the believers." [At-Tawba | 9:14] Surely, heﷻ test us by putting us in trials. And verily, with hardship comes ease. How can we forget that this worldly life is only temporary enjoyment, and indeed, the hereafter is the home of permanent settlement? We all are here today and gone tomorrow. And all these worldly possessions will end up being worthless. And only our good deeds will remain with us on the day of judgement. May Allah ﷻ forgive us all for our sins. May Allah ﷻ grant us relief from all that suffocates us and constricts us. May heﷻ grant us peace amongst the turmoils and tribulations. May Allah ﷻ grant us protection against laziness, cowardice, miserliness and the punishment of the grave. May Allahﷻ grant our souls dutifulness and purify them from arrogance, envy, egoism, selfishness, greed, lust, intolerance, anger, lying, cheating, gossiping, and slandering. May Allahﷻ guard us all. As he's the bestower of faith and Security: "Al-Mu’min". And the Guardian: "Al-Muhaymin". May Allah ﷻ take our lives when he's most pleased with us and help us all to get over these mental traumas.

Ameen ya rabbul alameen!🌼🍃

Fi-Aman-illah!🥀

════ ❁✿❁ ════

[diorbabe66]

hi! i'm muslim and i wanted to clear a few things up. :)

other Muslims might attack me but idc

Muslims can be part of the lgbtq+ community. there's nothing particularly mentioned I the Quran only how ppl are supposed to be hetero to yk make a family of their own with own genes blah blah (doesn't mean u can't adopt or anything for the ppl who r constantly looking for smth to criticize)

i haven't seen this part in the Quran but many Muslims (who have not been rude to me thankfully) have told me to "not act on it" bc of the family part which is the part i personally don't like

Muslims need to stfu. in the most respectful way u don't force ppl to convert, they'll make their own research if they're interested enough and want to.

it's literally ramadan, why r u guys judging ppl? ofc it's respect and be respected but what what did u expect? what was the reason to tell others god is the way blah blah. u guys are no better than the ppl on tiktok comments fighting everyone saying Jesus is the king, turn back b4 it's too late.

a lot of ppl misunderstand and think that religion = culture which is NOT the same.

if ure forced to do smth it just naturally makes sense ure gonna drift away? u will not find any joy if ur parents constantly tell u you'll end up in hell or you'll get ur head chopped off if u don't follow the countries religion. it's all about how you're being taught and how u grew up with the religion.

that's why i'm saying u CAN'T force someone to convert or inform them abt ur religion. they'll do that by themselves.

but if ur parents have been patient and taught u abt how lovely the Islam is with no pressure ure more likely to believe and love it.

i have tbh: i was also critical abt the i am god part but then there was this post abt how God is within u so therefore u r God. also if ure this religious thar ure harassing anons to convert and tell them God is real, why are u in a manifesting community? where WE are the creator of our reality?

God is FORGIVING idc. God is very forgiving. the Quran doesn't say you'll be in hell. after hell comes heaven ALWAYS, that's what Allah promised. God will forgive everyone who prays for forgiveness. the Quran says to also pray for forgiveness YOU feel is a sin or smth that heavily is against a statement. (regarding the lgbtq thing i would honestly say it's not a big deal /srs. the Quran doesn't even mention anything to homosexuality specifically, it's just regarding future families etc.)

thank you for clearing this up!! i 100% appreciate you coming in and saying all of this ❤️ and yess the people that are pressuring people need to kindly stfu, and fr it is ramadan right now like people really wylin during a holy month like pls

[sisterssafespace]

Salaam ukhti, I do not know what to do. I’ve been talking to a guy for a while now. My mother knows about him she’s happy for us to be wed. Alhamdulilah

So, this guy & I are from different cultures. I’m african he’s indian & I have no problem with that. In terms of his deen he’s perfect for me. The last step was for him to meet my father; I spoke to my father before they met told him he’s asian not african. He seemed completely okay with it at the time. Anyway, on the day he rang him and he hung up to call me. He said a lot of negative things I won’t repeat.

But, my issue is that he didn’t even try to meet him because of his ethnicity? The worse part is I have a strained relationship with him already (we don’t live together). So, the fact he couldn’t even meet a prospective guy for me his daughter his youngest child makes it worse.

Ever since then, we haven’t been speaking and he’s being really rude to me. Constantly making sly remarks about me because he asked what I did. I was angry because he knows he put me in a horrible situation. Since I had to go back to the guy to tell him my father couldn’t come because of an ‘emergency’.

My mother came up with the solution of her older brother going to meet the guy instead. To be honest, I understand why because my uncle speaks better english so they can communicate which I’m grateful for. But, it’s upsetting knowing my dad didn’t even try and I do not know if my uncle can even mehr me if my dad doesn’t say yes.

- ☁️

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu dear sister, I hope you are feeling better by the time you are reading this.

Let me start by saying that your ask hit a not close to home for I can relate on some points. Allahu al'mustaān.

Now, before getting into the story, let me just answer your last question about whether your uncle (brother to your mom) could marry you, if your father doesn't cooperate. Well, I know I clarified in the bio and the opening post that this page doesn't give fatwahs but this is not a fatwah as the fatwah is already there and all over the internet , and it's ' common knowledge ' unfortunately no, the brother of the mother doesn't have the authority to marry the girl off in Islam. In fact, there is a sequence or list of ' wali-s ' who can marry her and in case the father wasn't capable of doing that, then it is the paternal grandfather, then the brother, then the half brother (from her father's side), then her father's brother, then her father's half-brother, then her paternal cousin (son of her father's brother), then son of her father's half-brother, then in case all of them are not available or they don't agree, then it's taken up to the Judge. See, there is no family member from the mother's side in that lineage. Just to be clear.

However, we should consider alllllll the other options that you have before thinking of the worst case scenario, sis. Because even if your father wasn't the greatest man and you don't have the strongest relationship with him, you don't want to start this important chapter of your life on the wrong foot, by upsetting him more, or ruining your chances to fix things with him. It will only complicate the situation more. And keep in mind: it is not permissible to get married without a wali, as prophet Muhammad ﷺ said : There is no marriage without the permission of a guardian.

Now let's see what we are dealing with, I don't know the reasons why your father is having this position - but one can only imagine.. However, Islam is innocent from all these ideologies, interracial and mixed marriage were never a problem in Islam and Allah swt and his Prophet ﷺ never forbid nor advised against marrying someone from a different ethnicity. In fact, the Prophet ﷺ said : "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad)."

So, if the only reason why your father is not approving of this marriage is that the potential partner is from a different ethnicity, then your father is in the wrong and he will be accountable on his part. But there isn't much you can do without his approval. So what can you do instead? Is there any uncles from your father's side? A grandfather? An authoritarian family member? Or your local Imam or someone that your father actually values and listens to that you can actually talk to? To convince him to at least give the man a chance? And yes your uncle from your mother's side could talk to the guy and get to know him and maybe then he could tell your father about his qualities and how he is in shaa Allah a perfect fit for you, but again, he can't marry you off.

Now, I am sharing with you the feedback of a sister who is Alhamdulillah in a mixed marriage, she has been thru your experience and is now Alhamdulillah happily married, may Allah bless her and her family : "I understand her pain. They're judging him before even meeting him.. I don't know if there's much she can do tho. I think it's most likely that her father needs time to get used to the idea. He didn't expect her to marry out of the culture, that's a hard pill to slick for a lot of elder people. The advice I can give is to give it time and pray for it. Intercultural relationships is almost normal for our generation but it isn't for the generations before us. We have to keep that in consideration.

Also, if her uncle gets to meet the guy, maybe he can tell her father how great he is especially when it comes to deen. And her mother knows her father the best, she can eventually also speak in on his mindset and make him see that he's wrong to judge someone he hasn't even met.

I pray that her father 'wakes up' and realizes that culture doesn't matter. The only thing that will bring them to jannah, is their deen, and alhamdulillah he's perfect for her deen-wise. May Allah ease their affairs and bring them together in marriage. ❤️"

-----------------

I will finish with this meaningful insight from islamqa.org "While family members may think they are acting in the best interest of their children, there are many cases in which the refusal of parents is based on incorrect presumptions and understandings that stem from their own, distinct experiences and contexts that their children may not necessarily share.

In such cases, if someone does believe they have genuinely found someone suitable for marriage, whether from a different race/culture or not, and their parents still prove to be difficult, they should try to convince them with wisdom and tact, and take all appropriate means to make them see the merits of the decision.

Parents certainly have a right to be concerned about the future of their children, but since it is not the parents entering into the marriage, children also need to make sure they are not being forced into decisions that will adversely effect them in the future."

And most importantly (from the same source) "You should know that marriages are destined by Allah, All-Wise. So if this marriage is facilitated for you, then it will happen, and if not, then it won’t. And in either case, there is wisdom behind this that you are not aware of, so you should pray salat al-istikharah for ease in this matter if it should be good for you. It is best that you take the path of benevolence and kindness in these kinds of issues and don’t rush things lest you aggravate the problems."

To conclude, my dear sister, I KNOW that when we are inn love/ or when we start getting attached to someone, we let our imagination run wild, we build hopes and dreams involving them, we want to be with them asap and we let ourselves get carried away, I know for a fact that you'd want to rush things and just get married to this guy and get it over with, I feel you, I relate to you, I understand you perfectly. But sometimes that's not how life works for a) there's Allah's timing for everything and b) there's Allah's plan for us. We think we are choosing and we think we are planning but it's just an illusion, at the end of the day it's only Allah's plan that works. That's why I pray that your choice matches what Allah swt has already chosen for you, and your plan confirms with Allah's plan for you. Please please please pray Istikhara times and times and times again, tell your guy to pray Istikhara as well, and sis, duāa is your only way out of this. Try to pray Tahajjud (night prayer) if you can, I heard a saying a while ago that anyone who has any need from Allah swt should never miss a Tahajjud prayer. In the quiet of the last third of the night, when everyone else is sleeping, just you and your broken words and you crying heart sincerely and humbling asking for Allah's help and guidance. It works miracles ✨

In shaa Allah kheir my dear, may Allah swt guide you, and bring what's kheir for you closer, and grant you what your heart is wishing for. May Allah swt have mercy on your heart and not allow it to be broken over this matter. Ameen. 🤍

- A. Z. 🍃

[alatismeni-theitsa]

16 anti LO anon opinions

All under the cut

(1) Fastpassers are also probably mad bc when smythe post fastpass title on twitter(which was heathers musical song ripoff) everyone was so hyped up and excided, they thought this gonna be about "Underqold badass queen Persephone " or something with her trail or something big with her, but no, they got Minthe flashback that didnt change anything in the story

(2) Fastpassers are annoyed bc this episode was flashback of Minthe. Two previous fastpasses got pretty big(and stupid) revals(leto is bad guy,apollo and artemis may be zeus child and last but not least Cronus awakening) so they were hopping for something more not a filler wpisode that changes nothing in to the story bc there were wpisodes that make Minthe more "symphatetic" than this one.

(3) Am i the only one a bit concerned that a Minthe episode made LO fans demand their money back but apparently episodes and a planned redemption over Apollo, who R*PED the main character, was met with fans sympathizing with him and feeling bad for judging him "too soon"?  They can accept a sexual assaulter having mommy issues to excuse his bad actions, but a boring filter episode about Minthe, who we know will be killed by the end anyway, gets outrage? That doesn't sit well with me.

(4) oh my god the LO fans hated the minthe fast pass so much they actually made LO's rating start to go down 😭 most of us here dont even like the comic but none of us would purposely review bomb it over a boring episode over a character we didnt like, thats so entitled!

(5) Adding on to the recent fastpass, it was extremely boring. I get that you can't please everyone but the fact that Minthe is having a backstory now just feels like filler.

This is the main issue I have with Rachel's story, she has so many characters but chooses to develop them at the worst times. If we got this backstory earlier in season 2, this would make sense. However, the fp before this one ended on a cliffhanger. You'd think it'd continue but no, we just get Minthe backstory.

I'd rather see an Apollo backstory, he's an active villain and would be interesting to see his motive.

Minthe doesn't have a compelling motive other than jealousy.

(6) I can't be the only one who thinks the new hairstyle updates for characters like Apollo or Eros look weird right? Eros literally looks like an adult version of one of his siblings Storge (who has curly permed hair and was holding a hamster)

(7) That Lo eros panel ... oof. Wheres his hairline going? He had a damn 7 head. Also at least for awhile the men had a different face from the women, but I guess they’re also women now, facial features wise?

(8) On a side note: why the fuck is Eros so ugly in this episode😭

(9) SMYTHE DOES NOT ONLY HAVE A DD/LG KINK, SHE A L S O HAS A PREGNANCY KINK!!! WHY ELSE HADES WAS SO *SMIRKY* ABOUT THE WHOLE FERTILITY GODDESS THING BACK WHEN HE AND PERSEPHONE WERE AT THE BEACH???? i swear to Allah this shit gets even more and more disgusting.

(10) This is something i see so much but LO especially but why do all of them have boring ancient clothes? It's always white or tan sheets or maybe black if it's someone in the Underworld. I'm going more off ancient images but shouldn't the gods especially have more grand and detailed clothing options? i get it's probably harder to design based off colorful skin tones but it's not impossible. it just seems so much of the comic design feels very flat, so if the story can't hold up then the art should.

(11)  The main problem I had before with lore olympus was its cliffhanger syndrome. Like, why do some many chapters leave on a cliffhanger and for no reason at all? Like when Hera got hit and nothing happened. When I was experiencing the episodes coming out in real time, it drove me mad.

It's gotten better recently but that's probably because the three recent episodes (fastpass) felt more like filler.

That's the main reason why I feel like the plot is being dragged out. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for cute character moments and creators getting money but, LO is slowly becoming less and less interesting. I literally skipped around in most of the fasspasses because it really wasn't interesting. The only thing memorable about all of the fp episodes is the beginning and end, the middle is just kinda there.

(12) Ampelus (psyche)'s eyes used to be golden/yellow but now its coloured purple lmao

(13) Wtf is happening in lore olympus?! Now they want to bring cronus back and do another war?!? Are they crazy nothing like this didnt happen in mythology and obviously not bc of persephone(in comic her pink tree in underwold will give crounus power and life). It supposed to be romance not whatever fuck this is now.

(14) I feel like if I was at Henson Co. or Webtoons with a tv deal on the line, I would make Smythe to hand writing duties to a pro or take a hiatus seriously plan everything out, because all these new plots are distracting from what people signed up for, which is to see HxP get together and the myth. It seems like filter seeing as any TV adaption wouldn't cover most of it anyway, so why even include it? If RS wants it over sooner than later, this isn't how you do it, she's just procrastinating now.

(15) I find Demeter in LO just confusing. If she’s so overbearing and controlling, why would she ever allow Persephone out of their domain to live with Artemis in the city? Even the most liberally easy going parents don’t let their naive children out into the world like that with people they barely know, yet the supposed helicopter parent does. Why not literally literally lock her up? Especially when Persephone can’t control her powers and is desperate to hide that she killed a village of people? Demeter knows she’s a danger to others yet let her out anyway? That doesn’t sounding overbearing to me. It sounds like she’s right to want to hide her away. Persephone is a bigger threat to everyone else than they are to her. More so, actual controlling parents do give their children phones to keep easy tabs on them, yet LO Demeter doesn’t? She could constantly call Persephone or check up on her without physically needing to be there, yet they don’t do that. What modern parent would let their child leave home without a way to contact them? If anything, she’s extremely loose on parenting her and lets Persephone do/have whatever she wants. The controlling helicopter parent premise too is undercut by the fact LO Demeter ends up being right in wanting to hide her daughter away because within a month of leaving home Persephone is drugged, kidnapped, threatened by several people, r*ped, blackmailed, is close to dropping out of school, attacked by shades, and had a mental/emotional breakdown, many of those things being linked to her future “caring” husband. I just don’t buy it. Demeter ends up looking correct by anyone who isn’t blinded by the rose colored glasses of HxP.

(16) If I'll ever bother to read LO I'll do so only to see how horrible exactly it is.

[theadventuresofamuslimrevert]

Say “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves (by sinning), do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful” – Surah Az-Zumar 39:53

So I started to write this blog about my journey to islam and learning more about myself while never losing hope in the mercy of Allah swt. In it, I shared what was then my understanding of God’s forgiveness and the story of the companion who symbolised this for me the most.

Fast Forward to last night, I attended a Qu’ran tafseer circle which took my understanding of Allah’s mercy even further. It focused on ayah (verse) 53 of Surah Az-Zumar. I have to admit; I stopped attending this circle for many months throwing in excuses that I was just too busy. However, that day, I had this sense of urgency in my heart that I needed to attend the circle; it was a sensation that I just could not ignore.

That night in the circle, one of the sisters led the session reciting ayah 53 of Surah Az-Zumar, and she shared an in-depth explanation of its meaning. She described the infinite magnitude of the mercy of Allah swt against the mountainous weight of our sins. The tafseer of this one ayah left me in complete awe of the mercy of our Lord. It had me thinking whether I fully understood the concept of Allah’s mercy and so I felt it was only right that I came back and shared with you my thoughts and reflections to further your understanding on the mercy of our Lord.

‘O My servants’ – Allah swt begins this ayah addressing all of His servants – He is not only addressing the ‘pious’ or the ‘good’ Muslims, no. He is addressing all of His slaves; He is speaking to you and me. ‘Who have transgressed against themselves (by sinning)’ – every one of us has sinned- major, minor, knowingly or unknowingly, we are not infallible. This is a concept that many of us struggle to accept as we strive for perfection in our lives. You might have committed unimaginable acts or have crossed the lines that Islam has set. You may feel as a result of these sins, you are no longer a ‘worthy’ Muslim or that there is no hope for you. You may also have experienced other people telling you that you are destined for hell and that you are never going to be forgiven.

Now read carefully the command that comes next after Allah swt addresses you and acknowledges that you have sinned: He swt says ‘do not despair of the mercy of Allah’.  Just take a moment and think about this.

This is a command from Allah swt for you never to lose hope, and as His servant, you must obey. You are not allowed to be pessimistic about your sins, you and no one else is allowed to pass sentence. Why? ‘Allah forgives all sins’. You aren’t the only one that has made mistakes- you, me and everyone on this earth have sinned, but we must turn to Allah swt and ask for forgiveness so that He can forgive us. It doesn’t matter how big or how many times you have sinned- Allah swt, your Lord, ‘the Forgiving, the Merciful’ is forbidding you from despairing and assuring you that He will forgive you.

It doesn’t matter how big or how many times you have sinned- Allah swt, your Lord,‘the Forgiving, the Merciful’  is forbidding you from despairing and assuring you that He will forgive you.

 

I want to remind you of a narration that I hope will help you understand how merciful God is. Umar ibn Khattab RA reported that some prisoners of war were brought to the Prophet ﷺ, and there was a breastfeeding woman among them. Whenever she found a child amongst the prisoners, she would take the child to her chest and nurse it. The Prophet ﷺ said to us:

‘Do you think this woman would throw her child in the fire?’

We said, ‘No, not if she was able to stop it.’ The Prophet ﷺ said ‘Allah swt is more merciful to his servants than a mother is to her child.’-Sahih Al-Bukhari

Over a year ago my sister had her latest newborn and I was able to observe the way she would look after her child- comforting her with each cry, waking up throughout the night to feed her and making sure she was safe. SubhanAllah, I could see the affection and mercy my sister had for her daughter, and yet the Prophet ﷺ tells us that Allah SWT is more merciful than a mother. Just look to your mother on how much she cares and loves you- how can you then lose hope in God?

Du’a for forgiveness

اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي

Allahumma innaka afuwwun tuhibbul afwa fa’fu annee

“O Allah, You are Forgiving and love forgiveness, so forgive me” or “O Allah, You are Pardoning and love to pardon, so pardon me.”

Note: By asking Allah swt to pardon us for our mistakes, we are asking Him to not take us on account of them on the day of judgement, i.e. to completely wipe them out as if they never happened in the first place. Try to make a habit of saying this du’a everyday.

I also want to touch on two names of Allah swt: al-Ghaffar (The Oft Forgiving) and al-Ghafur (The All Forgiving). Al-Ghaffar means to cover and conceal, the idea that Allah swt covers His slave by hiding his sins and not taking him to account for them. It is narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said:

‘Allah- Blessed and Exalted is He!- says ‘O son of Adam! So long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam! Were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam! Were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me having ascribed no partner to Me, I would bring you a similar amount of forgiveness.’ -Sunan Al-Tirmidhi.

The name al-Ghafur is similar to al-Ghaffar but it refers to the amplitude of His forgiveness i.e. the number of times that Allah swt will forgive you. Al-Ghafur is also said to be derived from the word ‘ghafr’ which is a medical plant that is used to heal woulds. The idea here is that forgiveness helps heals our wounds of sins similar to the medicinal plant that will help heal the physical wounds of our bodies.

The last point I also want to mention to you is the concept of being merciful to others. We as human beings are very quick to judge others for their sins- what makes you think that you can judge? If you want God to show you mercy, why aren’t you merciful to His other servants? Allah swt says:

‘Let him pardon and forgive, would you not love that Allah forgives you? Indeed Allah is all-Forgiving, Merciful’ -Surah an-Noor 24:22

I also believe that by encompassing the characteristic of being merciful, it will help you gain a better understanding of the mercy of Allah swt. If someone wrongs you, forgive them- do not grow hatred and if you see someone sin, do not judge, immediately make du’a for them that Allah swt forgives them and guides them to the straight path. This can be difficult at first, but, when you remind yourself that you are doing it for the pleasure of Allah SWT and His mercy, over time, it will become second nature. Remember that any du’a you make for your brothers and sisters; the angels will make that same dua for you as well.

So now let me ask you, Allah swt is inviting you towards His mercy. Will you accept it? Or will you allow the shaytan to make you feel hopeless? Remember that all he can do is whisper, but the promise of God is true.

It’s your choice- make the right one.

Come, come whoever you are

Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving

It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair

Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times

Come, yet again, come, come

[mysweetxcape]

It all started as a joke..

“Kepala angin..”

“Attitude..”

“Only your HUSBAND can tolerate with you”

“How can you even tolerate with her?”

.... And then, it questioned my existence, significance and of course, as a person.

I grew up being labelled as that, none other than the people who are close to me. Honestly I’ve no idea its meaning when I was kid; I’ve always thought I’m a sensitive person - sulk easily etc, perhaps it was because I think I was pampered; and if you hurt me, like DUH, of course i would be upset right? Again, I was a kid. What are feelings back then? You simply reciprocate naturally to whatever that is going on with your life.

Growing up, I still heard that often till current - being married, although my husband did (or have not) dub me that (yet). And if possible, I wouldn't want to hear it from him too.

I’ve always tried to mend my ways -  the way I act or talk. But i think people dont see the change in me, no matter how hard I tried. When I mentioned change, it means sucking it more than I should. It’s similar overflowing a mug. You pour water in it till it has reached to the brim, but they kept pouring it more and more. And when it had overflowed, they blame the size of the mug for not being able to contain it well.

Before you jumped into conclusion while reading this, I’m an ordinary person with feelings, perhaps low tolerance with stupid shit that made me go berserk easily. Perhaps you could’ve said that I’m slightly temperamental and I could’ve worked that out properly.

But do people realize that the words that was spat to me or inappropriate actions that was reciprocated to me was HURTFUL? So while THEY are the ones who did it, I have to suck it up? While they were the ones who started out the mess, I have to clean their shit? With that being said, I do not have tolerance to suck up that shit for long. And if you do not realise it, then you gotta suck it up too. Yes, patience is virtue but i’m not a prophet; i dealt with whatever I can. Just like you.

It hurts to the point when the people who are close to me are the ones spatting shit to me. It all started as a joke and now it has became a NORM for everyone to say unpleasant statement to me - throwing negative statement like “How can you even tolerate with her?” to my husband. Although I know him for years, I dont expect one’s foul mouth to go to my husband. Even if it’s a joke.

How does that make me feel as a person? Or a wife? Am I really that extreme? Am i really that bad? I grew up having those thoughts lingering at the back of my head. I’ve lived with that which have made me to overthink about myself and the people that I’ve met. Each time a fight occurred, it has always felt it was my fault because at the end of the day, they told me “I got an attitude.”

Sometimes I feel that if i could understand one’s feelings, why cant people react the same way to me? All along, I've never judged one’s personality over their foolish mistake or immature mindset. But whenever it comes to me, it feels that it is unforgivable.

On days when I’ve decided not to talk a lot, they still have an impression of me being an attitude. I don’t know what else..

Sadly I dont really grow up with great compliments about my personality from my family. It has always been the opposite and the same till to date. There are days where you can joke but there’s always a limit to everything.

Yes, I’m aware I’m not all cheery, happy and bright. I dont smile all the time because I was raised with SO MANY things happened around me. I am, most of the time dark and twisted - if you were in my place, you could be too but for at least, I didnt run away. I stay put, I fight through the odds. I fight against my inner conflicts that had overwhelmed my emotions from time to time. I dealt with it, I succumbed to it and I tried to be nice even if there are days I have suicidal thoughts. At least I faced it and not resort to trashy things that will ruin me. If it weren’t because of my religion, I would’ve probably go rotten. But I know Allah has created me for a reason, He could’ve answered my prayers when I was a kid (to die early), but no, He made me live to go through unpredictable obstacles because He know that I can handle it. And because I know, my family needs me no matter how much they think of me as a person. I dont blame my past or family for created who I am, rather I’ve eradicated it long time ago and in fact, I grew and learned from it. BUT there’s always a baggage that has been lingering in me. It come and go. And i’m still in a process of self-fixing it. Frankly, I wish someone out there could’ve seen me in that perspective but to date, there is none and probably, I am that someone.

With that being said, I’ve accustomed to such shit to the point if that is how someone sees in me instead of the good deeds that I’ve done, so be it. And if you think I’m being overly sensitive with such issue, deal with it and suck it up.

[vivywhulandary]

THE ART OF LETTING GO (Quest for LOVE)

To be honest, I’m never brave enough to write about this topic, since I also struggling with myself in this situation. It just that there’s something happened to me yesterday, makes me want to write about it. I do not wish to write too long on this (let just hope..), I just need to let this things off my chest because it has been bothering me for quite a while now. I wish I can swipe it off just like that because it’s really bothering me and trapped inside.

Why are we so bad at letting go? If you ask me, to be honest, my answer will be; there’s a part in me that still holding back. I’m the kind of person that have strong sentimental values towards everything in my life and when it come to person I’ll attached with them deeply in my heart whether it’s a friends, family, special person or maybe just random people that I saw. I’m proud that I have this kind of character and feeling in me because it makes me take people feelings seriously. Some people may see it as a weak character. As for me, I believe it’s the other way round, BUT.. it can be unhealthy to you if you can’t control it. People may take advantages of you. 

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” -Anne Landers

Back to the topic, letting go is all about acceptance where you allows yourself to no longer fight or give resistance to something or someone that is the way it is. As for my case, it was someone. Was it about my past relationship? The answer is yes, and yes I’m currently single. So, I really know and much more aware of how it feels like to love and be loved the same way. AND... the consequence of it, I also know how it feels to be completely utterly shattered. I’m not the wise person to talk about this love stuff. I do believe different people have different understanding of love and I strongly believe that the people we fall in love with can complete each other to be better together and sometimes they might be reflecting the kind of person we are.

I’m not going to list out the characteristics that I wish for my significant other to have. It’s enough for me if he values family (mine and himself), religion, knowledge and ambition. Bear in mind my dear ladies, if you’re serious to pursue a relationship, please look for a man; who can understand and know how to be responsible. Responsibility is extremely important my dear, man who takes responsibility seriously has the slight chance to neglect it. But, don’t put it all into your partner, you also need to be a woman; who have the maturity to be responsible towards yourself and the relationship you pursues. Remember, relationship is about two people participation.

I have been single for almost a year now, and I only realize it yesterday that I’m not fully letting all go. I thought I forgot everything and accept the things the way it is until yesterday I feel like I’m shattering all over again when I lost a few things related to my past which I kept this entire time. To view it from the positive side, I guess this is the sign, the sign that I should really, truly letting it all go and start fresh with my life. If there is anything a relationship has taught me in the past, it’ll be the importance of maturity. It’s reflects on the behavior of a person in everything, from the way of thinking to how they act in handling a situation in a relationship. A healthy relationship should help bring the best out of you, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and not leading you towards the haraam (Muslim practice).

For anyone that felt the same way as I do, let’s be better together. Stop holding on and start to let go. I know you've tried your best to manage everything but please accept that some parts of our lives just won't turn out like we expected to be. There are some things in our lives were untouchable to us, but not to Allah. So reach for Him, put all faith to Him. You've done you part and let Allah decide and manage the rest. While waiting for that, put your highest trust in Allah. One prayer at a time. Take this opportunity to focus on our personal development and fix our relationship with Allah, that’s the most important things. Back to Him, cry to Him, He always listen and forgive all of our sins without even judging it. 

In the meantime, don’t forget to take care of ourselves. Build up a good character, healthy, spiritually, intelligence, learn new skills, read more, travel and much more time for ourselves until the right person come and be our companion. 

As for me, I am personally afraid to be in a relationship again. But, when the time comes and Allah sent the right one for me, I hope the guy I end up with will be proud of me, I hope he also pray everyday for himself and for us the way I do. I believe Allahu Rabbi plan the best for us. May Allah help us in striving our best self, make it easy for us and guide us to find our way to each other. We’re in each other all along, keep me in your prayers as I do you. 

Love, v.

p/s: miss the girls terribly (in&out pic)

[partytilfajr]

What should you do when there are different schools of thoughts of things (like a dog in the house) or something is vague and/or open to interpretation? Is it wrong to choose what makes your life easier simply for that reason alone? When God says in the Quran that He will decide between the things we used to differ in - is that implying that there is only one correct stance on a given issue or can there be many correct sides/views simultaneously? Thanks.

[I really took this one and ran with it, I’m sorry it’s so long]

First, I’m going to jump up and down and tell you to stop saying “School of Thought.”

Why?

Because “thought” is so nebulous. It’s like: “yahhhhhhh, I think this way, yahhhhhhhh.”

These are Schools of Law. Ell, ay, um. Double you? I think that’s how you spell it. You get the point. Law is serious. Law is meticulous. Law, in order to be effective, needs to be systematic, just, and methodological.

So these schools of law, what are they? They were established so that judges could make coherent and consistent legal rulings. Why? Because they were judges. Like real ones. The types that rule on divorces, inheritance, and all that kinda stuff.

Like, when people think of Rumi, what do they think of? “POETRYYYYYYYYYYYY ABOUT LUVVVVVVVV.” How did the guy pay the bills though? He was a Hanafi Judge (you use the Arabic word, Qadi, to sound fancy) and like, that’s how he paid for that life. You can’t write poetry and eat without a day job, usually. Rumi was a Qadi.

Why do I bring that up? Because Rumi had to be able to get consistent opinions. That was his job. Now, how do you do that?

You learn from a Madhab [School of Law].

So, what is a Madhab? They are schools of law, and what they do, functionally, is that they developed a methodology in which to create a coherent process from which to extract the law, first from The Qur’an and Sunnah, and then through “jurisprudential tools.”

[Do you want to learn more about this entire process? Read the following: A Simple Summary of the Four Sunni Schools of Law]

The problem with the way that these schools are taught is that they are like:

Hanafi = X, Shafi’i = Z, Maliki = A, etc etc etc.

These are clumsy, and inaccurate. If there are differences of opinion between the schools, do people not think it is possible that there can be differences within the schools?

GASP! There is!

Why?

Because, while there is a majority opinion of these schools, you’re not dealing with like “WE ARE THE MALIKI TEAM AND WE BELIEVE THIS! YAH!” You’re dealing with a methodology and that methodology will most likely yield certain answers.

BUT!

Differences emerge, because again, the focus isn’t on the answer, but on the methodology. So let me give you an example: for the Shafi’is, if you touch someone of the opposite gender, your wudhu is broken. For the Hanafis they say your wudhu is only broken if you’re touching them with some intent, like, heart eyes intent.

Now, Imam Ghazali is a master of Shafi’i Fiqh. And yet, he did not agree with the majority opinion, and held that touching someone of the opposite gender does not break your wudhu.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! HOW?!

Because the focus of the jurist (scholar) is not about the answer, it’s about the methodology in which one uses to get to that answer.

Does that make sense?

Now, how does that apply to your question? Here is more background that I feel you need to know:

So which madhab do people follow? It usually is very regional, and that is based upon the various Muslim Empires and States and which School they used for their court system. These States wanted to have legal consistency for the people, so they favored one.

So the major jurists (scholars) of South Asia were Hanafi, and the rulers used Hanafis jurists to staff their legal systems, who also created their Islamic institutions. So, Desi kids are (mostly) Hanafi today. Ta da.

Now, I’m Egyptian. Why does that matter? Because Egypt’s South is Maliki, and Imam Shafi’i had a huge influence on Egypt, and then it was ruled by the Shia Fatimids, who were replaced by Salah Ad-Deen, the Kurdish Sultan, who brought Shafi’i rule back, and then the Ottomans came in, and with them, the Hanafis.

So Egypt is this mixture, they have this flexibility, and many Egyptians will slow blink at you when you ask them “what madhab are you?”

If you look at The Reliance of the Traveler, by Imam Al-Misri, which is a classic Shafi’i Fiqh manual, you’ll see the Shafi’i opinion, and then other opinions which are easier, or different, without panic.

Some people hate this. I get why they do. They say “you need to be consistent.”

Now, let me clear here: I understand (and agree) with the idea that if you are going to studying and/or applying Islamic knowledge, this methodological consistency is vitally important.

But that is not what we’re talking about here, and while wanting consistency in the study and application of Islam makes sense to me, the requirement that you must follow all the opinions of a madhab would only make sense to me if the madhabs were as mechanical as people pretend they are. But they aren’t.

Now, my cultural background might make it easier on me to shrug my shoulders. But I still think there is plenty of evidence (including Dar Al-Ifta Al-Missriyyah’s approach) that I tend to adhere to, which is, “hey, here are the options, you have to use your judgment here.”

People say that’s a cop-out and I disagree. Why? (I’m getting to the whole “how do I choose” part of your question here)

You’re going to be responsible for the choices you make. Not the Sheikh who you Fatwa shopped for. The Sheikh, obviously, is in a place of trust, but you’re the one who has to evaluate the information in front of you.

Let me put it more bluntly: you are the one who has to face God with your choices, no one else.

I think having a pure intent (niyah) is of central importance, to genuinely strive to make sense of Islam, relative to what you know, what you can understand, because we, the individual Muslims, are responsible for our deeds, no one else.

In The Qur'an, God speaks about this responsibility, mentioning what those who fail to recognize their personal responsibility will say:

“And they will say: ‘O our Sustainer! Behold, we paid heed unto our leaders and our great men, and it is they who have led us astray from the right path!” [33:67]

This ayah, interestingly enough, is about people who will, when facing God, will try and be like: “God! My leader told me I can do this! It’s not on me! It’s on them!”

Now, people are acting brand new. Look. People go Fatwa Shopping. They are making a choice. They listen to this Sheikh but not that one. They are acting like they’re making some dispassionate choice.

But you’re making a choice. Own that choice. Don’t let it paralyze you. Make the choice with a sincere intention. Know that if you make a mistake, God will not hold it against you, because actions are determined by their intentions. Focus on the purity of intentions and follow the choices that you are comfortable answering to God for. Remember: that does not mean that the harder answer is the better one, don’t let yourself spiral into that, but make a choice that makes the most sense to you and own it. Because I can’t help you on judgment day, no one can, only your deeds and God will.

There are scholars who disagree with me. I get why they do, I think the answer above underlines why I would disagree with them. But ultimately, again, you will answer for what choice you make. And it’s not like you weren’t make the choice before, I’m just highlighting what you are already doing. What we all do.

God is going to judge us based upon our sincerity and intention, work on those, and understand yourself (so important!!), so that you can make the best choice. Don’t fear making mistakes, because you’re going to make them, you’re not the first, nor are you the last, but you just have to work on sincerity, which requires self-reflection and understanding of how your head works. Why? Because, again, you will answer for your choices.

I hope this makes sense, Insha Allah.

[sexyapostates-blog]

Why We Hate Gatherings

More like, why gatherings make me want to stab myself till my intestines escape my body and I eat them to put them back in? Whether it’s a large family reunion or a formal event your mother forced you to go to so she can parade you as wife material, gatherings can be draining. We hate so many things about the, that we had to divide them into categories.

Looks:

Spending hours getting dressed, wasting your time doing your hair and makeup for the sake of pleasing a bunch of women you haven’t seen since you were 5. If it’s a bigger event, you also have to buy expensive jewelry and hire hair stylists and makeup artists.

Hearing the ladies at the gathering bash other women for getting work done, even though they get work done themselves.

The physical pain that comes with wearing uncomfortable dresses, heavy earrings and tight heels.

The search for the perfect outfit takes up the entire night leading up to the event.

Forcing yourself to smile till your face hurts

Having people scan your outfit with laser-like precision, analyzing every aspect of it: what brand is it? How much did it cost? Have they seen you wear it before? Is it covering too much or not enough?

People judging your body (how fat or thin you are, how thick or thin your eyebrows are, the ratio of your boobs to your waist to your hips, the length of your neck etc.)

Formalities:

Having to greet people by kissing and touching them. You can’t opt out because relatives get offended if you don’t greet them. If you have OCD like Salem, then you might spend the whole night washing your face with hand soap, because that’s the only option available to you, so then you have to feel your hands and face going dry and you can’t do anything about it.

Kissing up to everyone for the sake of being polite, regardless of how shitty they might be as a person, because you can’t risk them dissing you to your parents. If you’re lucky, they might even talk you up!

The shady alliances: when who you choose to sit next to is a statement that can make or break your family’s structure.

The same list of topic is always on rotation at every gathering/wedding, and none of those topics appeal to you.

When everyone wants to take pictures of food to post on social media as a way of complimenting the host and flaunt their family’s riches, but they force everyone to move out their shot because women aren’t supposed to be seen in our culture.

Exchanging pre-prescribed pleasantries. In English, this is simply limited to saying “thank you” and “you’re welcome”. However, in Brown culture, we have an Allah-enhanced version of that for every occasion possible, and it’s hard to remember what the right response is.

Having to sit in a proper, lady-like way, despite how uncomfortable holding that positions for hours is

Being forced to eat... and then being shamed for eating

Realizing that the women in the room look at you as a potential wife for their sons

People being nice to your face even though you know they trash talk you behind your back

Knowing that gatherings are pointless and are only there to hold up traditions a.k.a the “pillars of muslim society”

Pretending that you have the perfect life and the perfect family

“Fuck you” isn’t an acceptable response

Disguise:

If you’re an ex-Muslim in disguise, you’ll have to fake pray if you hear the athan

Having to be strategic about what you say so that you don’t expose your infidel ways

Hiding the “real” you in favor of a more conservative, family-approved version of you in order to stay safe

Nodding along to outdated ideas so you don’t get killed

Conversation:

Gossiping/body shaming/shallow conversation

Unnecessary religious talk

Getting unsolicited advice

People bragging about the most obscure things, like their collection of Birkins. Weird flex but ok sis.

Being interrogated about every aspect of your life. They pry into every detail of your life because they feel entitled to an answer.

When someone tells a story that you’ve heard before, but you notice that some of the details have changed since the last time you heard it.

Dealing with crazy old ladies— every family has one.

Having to hear about divorces, marriages, and the 2nd/3rd/4th wife— which of course, comes with showing pity for the 1st wife, and calling the new wife a whore. But don’t forget, the husband is an infallible angel!

Having to hear about people’s weird trips to Neverland.

If you’re a girl and over the age of 14, be prepared to hear “Why aren’t you married yet?”.

Even though you wanna go to bed as soon as you get home, your family will drag you to the second round of gossip, where they discuss everyone they interacted with at the gathering

Environment:

Having your weekend wasted

Not being able to poop because the last thing you want is to be gone for so long and having people ask about your whereabouts. Instead, you have to trap that stool inside your butthole and squeeze your buttcheeks until the gathering is over which then means it’s poop fiesta time.

Even though Muslims don’t drink alcohol, you’ll still wake up with a toxicity-induced hangover the next day.

People trying to look at your phone over your shoulder

They’re SO LOUD

KIDS RUNNING AROUND EVERYWHERE EVERYWHERE EVERY FUCKING WHERE

AND THE PERFUME. OH MY GOD THE PERFUME WHY IS IT SO STRONG MY FUCKING NOSE. it BURNS my EYES!

Other:

The process of taking off your face (and we mean both your makeup and fake identity) and clothes when you get home

Unnecessary drama starts if you decide to skip one

Realizing how messed up everyone in your family is

If you’re the hosts, your family will expect you to help clean up. Ignoring it is not an option unless you want them to hold it against you forever. Depends on your situation, I don’t really care and I never help either I just go to bed and open up Netflix as soon as I can.

Realizing you’d rather be at home, in bed, watching Netflix with your cat, with a bowl of popcorn

THE UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF FOOD WASTE. Like why? WHY? WHY DO YOU NEED TO PREPARE THAT MUCH FOOD. wHy? It’s a small gathering, why do we need a feast big enough for a medium-sized village?!

Good luck,

Salem and Luna

image sources (1, 2, 3, 4) 

[nihalsjourney]

Not wearing my hijab anymore

We’ve entered a new decade, it’s 2020. To be honest I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Eve and the hype around it, which is why I waited with a new blogpost. I think it’s nice to look back on some things, one of them being my very first blogpost on here. (link) December 8, 2015 was my very first day without hijab. I can still feel the stress and anxiety of that day. After that, I never talked about it anymore because I still felt guilt and shame. It’s been four years and I feel like I’m able to talk about this past chapter in my life much better.

So we’re going waaaaay back, beyond those 4 years!

My mother is Dutch and my father is Turkish, my mother converted to Islam 24 years ago. When my parents had my brothers and I, baba (father) felt a stronger sense of practicing Islam better as well as raising us with our Turkish identity. Seeing as how Dutch society forces immigrants to assimilate rather than to integrate. The thought and fear of us losing our Turkish identity really stressed him out. 

Being in an interracial relationship asks for more different responsibilities I think. My mother and baba were integrating in each other’s culture, learning one another’s language while working hard and raising us with best of both worlds. 

As we got older our parents signed us up to an Islamic elementary school. With a school bus we’d go in the early morning from Valkenswaard to Eindhoven. There were both Muslim and non-Muslim faculty. My personal experience wasn’t great, I was already dealing with depression, anxiety, and trauma. I don’t remember a lot from what I learned because I dissociated quite often. It was difficult for me to learn because unfortunately we were taught Islam from a cultural perspective and fear inducing. To me Allah seemed like a big angry man and I refused to believe that.

I remember that all female teachers wore a hijab. Muslim or not. The girls also wore a hijab starting very young. After school they would take it off, others didn’t. I remember one time after gym class that I didn’t put my hijab back on. One of the male teachers who saw us on our way back to class shamed me for it. Looking back it was so awful how at first the girls didn’t even bother or noticed. But once the teacher said something about it they started whispering loudly to each other ‘haram’ ‘she didn’t put her hijab back on!’.

There was this unspoken rule that a girl should wear her hijab ‘full time’ when she’s 12. We’d ask each other, ‘When will you wear your hijab?’ ‘If you don’t start wearing it now you never will!!’ ‘Wearing your hijab at 16 or 18 is too late, you should wear it when you’re at least 12!’ Alhamdulillah (thank God) I can say that my parents never forced me.

I switched schools when I was 8, it wasn’t an Islamic school but I still kept wearing my hijab to school as force of habit.  Once I turned either 10, 11 or 12 years old I started wearing my hijab. After age of 12 I had to switch schools again, this time a dominantly white school. From the maybe 200 students, there were 5 students of colour, 4 of them Muslim and I being the only one wearing a hijab. I was facing a lot of discrimination and Islamophobia already and it only got worse from then on. The majority of white people questioned me about every single little thing, my hijab, Islam, if I sympathize with terrorists, if my father came here for money and if I was oppressed. ‘When did you start to realize you wanted to wear your hijab?’ ‘Did you feel ready?’ ‘So you’re Muslim, right? What do you think of ISIS?’ The older I got, I hoped that the questions would stop but they never did. I had very little knowledge, yet people thought I did because of my hijab. Like I was a living, walking human museum or encyclopedia.  

I started to question myself. Did I feel ready? Do I understand what wearing the hijab means? Can I justify myself to Allah for wearing my hijab though the intention of wearing it is non-existent?

It made my heart hurt so much because I had to face reality. I didn’t have an answer. At first I tried reading and researching more about Islam, but back then there was very little willingness of me to do so. I tried to move on despite feeling unhappy, guilty and confused. When I was 18 I decided to talk to my mother about it. She said she had always been worried that I never made my decision to wear my hijab consciously because I was so young. Together with my mother I began brainstorming for ideas and options. Such as trying to wear my hijab in different styles to see it makes any difference and talking with a few women who had taken their hijab off. When I listened to their stories I felt scared. Clueless of what I should do, standing at a cross roads having no idea which path to take.

Once I decided that I wanted to stop wearing my hijab, I talked with my baba. He was very confused and upset. He always tried to protect us from the Western world, so he was worried that it influenced my choice. I told him it didn’t. Although he didn’t agree with my decision he emphasized that he will always be there for me and love me. That’s all I needed to hear. I knew that baba needed his time to get used to things.

Sometimes I still think that I have to explain to others that I used to wear a hijab. Specifically to sisters who wear it. Because I understand all too well what it’s like to be a visible target of Islamophobic violence. There has become such a huge shift in my daily life that sometimes I feel like the odd one out when I’m with Muslim women (who wear the hijab).

Talking about a huge shift in my daily life. In the beginning especially, I noticed how Muslims and non-Muslims were now treating me differently. Whenever I’d greet a sister ‘Assalaam aleikum’, (peace be upon you) she’d look me up and down disapprovingly and wouldn’t return my greeting. It felt awful, I stopped greeting anyone all at once to give myself some sense of security because I was feeling so vulnerable back then. Instead, non-Muslim (majority white) people started to happily greet me. It was mind boggling. 

Like it was some sort of game, I’d keep track of all these differences. How in the past people wouldn’t sit next to me in public transport even when it was busy, to by passers saying ‘Allahu akbar’ or ‘terrorist’ under their breath when walking past me, getting checked by security a lot faster or accused of stealing, always being refused when applying for a job (in my city, Eindhoven, discrimination on the job market is very high) etc. 

When I have to show my ID, that has a picture of me with my hijab on, people always feel the need to tell me ‘You look prettier without hijab!’. When that happens I get a, what Dutch Iranian artist Saman Amini calls in the play ‘A Seat at The Table’, racial freeze. Cashing in the comment, reacting with a fake smile and getting back to my day. Not allowing myself to feel the hurt or the frustration.

It has definitely been a struggle the first year or two. I had to adjust to how society was treating me, nobody sees my hijab but sometimes I still feel like I wear it. A lot of my life experiences before taking it off were based around my hijab. And as I’m writing, realising it now, hurts. Wearing the hijab since a young age, I was basically robbed of my childhood and sure that may sound dramatic but it’s reality. It impacted my quality of life because I was an easy target for Islamophobic violence both verbal and non-verbal.

I got to see first-hand what it’s like to be treated both with and without hijab by non-Muslim and Muslims. Whether I’m a bad Muslim or a well ‘integrated’ (read assimilated) immigrant. 

We still teach girls to judge other girls. In my time we’d judge those who chose not to wear their hijab (yet) or who wore their hijab the ‘wrong’ way. As I got older I started to realise how toxic this behaviour is. But I find that this way of thinking is still deeply rooted. Because I still have some moments that when I see a sister with a hijab showing hair, my first thought is ‘Oh My GoD sHe Is ShOwInG hEr HaIr!! AYIB!!’ it’s been happening a lot less. But when it does I mentally slap myself in the face and remind myself of how toxic that way of thinking is because it does not contribute to anything positive. The judgement I had towards myself and others has lessened immensely. I’ve become a stronger person and learned so much (I’m still learning!!). All the things I named and more, I had to experience. Before I was so caught up with myself. Trying to survive. Now I able to make room in my heart for others to heal.

I look back to these past four years a lot. Feeling thankful and amazed. Never before did I have such a close relationship with Allah and myself. Honestly, I feel ashamed when I say the following. So may Allah forgive me for my ignorance and wrong doings, may He accept my good deeds, prayers and efforts of learning…

I never prayed, sometimes during Ramadan. Like I said, I forgot what I learned as a kid because of dissociating. When someone tried to teach me about Islam I didn’t have the space to listen, my mind never saved the information. Alhamdulillah, with its ups and downs, the past four years I have now been saving the knowledge I learn about Islam. I’m praying 5 times a day, reading translations of the Quran, going to lectures with an open heart and mind. Soaking up all the information I can get my hands on, eager to learn.

I’m not saying this to brag. But to stress that once again, I had to go through these things to grow through them. I had to experience all of this in order to become the person I am today. A better version of myself. Because with this experience and knowledge I am able to stand even stronger on my feet.

Lastly, I want to emphasize that my experiences I shared above, especially the negative ones have nothing to do with Islam. It’s man-made culture. Please see religion separate from its people.

Also there is unfortunately still way too little awareness of how children mimic our words and (misogynistic) behaviour. Pretty much everything I named in my story I learned from aunties, uncles and the girls around me. So especially to us women, I hope that we can start to truly uplift each other and not tear each other down any longer.

Thank you so much for taking your time to read this. A Dutch version of this blog post will soon follow.

Take care, peace and blessings upon you all! Much love,

Nihâl

[aerh4islam]

I feel as though many people test one another; they are cruel or slightly annoying as to ‘test’ the patience and kindness of another person. When that person reacts, depending on the way they reacted, the tester thereby comes to a conclusion of whatever they want to come to a conclusion about depending on the context of the argument/situation.  This theory does not work, and as Muslims, we were given the secret formula...

Let’s look at the world of physics… When I apply a certain force to a box to push it, the box will move a certain amount depending on the force I pushed it with. Let’s look at non-human mammals, let’s take a cat… No matter how nice my cat is, if I violently pull her tail and she feels threatened, she will most probably scratch me to defend herself. Let’s look at humans now… If I am constantly annoying someone, they will defend themselves and potentially become angry against me. Right?

If we take the human example and apply it to even plants, we will see the same pattern… If I every day either not water, break or fiddle even slightly with the plant's roots, eventually, this plant will weaken and die. Is it the plant's fault for not being ‘strong’ enough? No… The plant was a plant and there was nothing wrong with the plant, it was fulfilling it’s function… Was it YOUR fault that the plant died? Yes, because you destroyed it piece by piece. The plant didn’t die immediately, it didn’t show signs of weakness at first, but eventually, it did.

That is how natural life works, Allah says if you wish to know more about Him and His Signs, look at nature.

“And what he has created in the earth of varied hues most surely there is a sign in this for a people who are mindful.” Quran (16:13)

“Then eat of all the fruits and walk in the ways of your Lord submissively. there comes forth from within it a beverage of many colors, in which there is healing for men; most surely there is a sign in this (life of bees) for a people who reflect.” Quran (16:69)

There is, however, ‘someone’ that goes against this natural law of nature where an action causes a reation, and that is Shaytan; but how does he do it?

Shaytan will say to his followers on the Day of Judgement:

“And Satan will say when the matter has been concluded, "Indeed, Allah had promised you the promise of truth. And I promised you, but I betrayed you. But I had no authority over you except that I invited you, and you responded to me. So do not blame me; but blame yourselves. I cannot be called to your aid, nor can you be called to my aid. Indeed, I deny your association of me [with Allah ] before. Indeed, for the wrongdoers is a painful punishment." Quran (14:22)

So basically what Shaytan is saying is that all he did was only persuade you (it was just a whisper, but it was constant), he ONLY reminded you of evil acts (even if they were small); that infact he DID NOT DO the act… but you did! Why should HE take responsibility for what he only suggested, when what YOU ACTUALLY DID was far worse? That you actually acted it out?  

Well, what does Allah SWT say about Shaytans claims?

“Allah said: The truth is — and the truth I say. That I will fill Hell with you (Iblees/Satan)...” Quran (38:84-85)

Dear Fellow Muslims, you cannot frustrate another person to the NATURAL point of defense for themselves, and when they react, blame them because what you think you did was lesser. If you cause a certain reaction, it is your fault.

People will generally react to the amount you pushed them. It takes a small amount to naturally push some, and a huge amount to push others, and the threshold of a person’s patience isn’t for you to judge or test! Nothing in nature does not have a reaction to an action; even the ground, think of the most lifeless dry sand, will sink when the load is too high for it’s tolerance! So next time you frustrate someone to the point of them exploding, don’t look at them like you’ve never seen a monster before, but look at yourself. What did you do to cause this reaction? Even though you just poked the fire, did that extra push cause it to burn stronger?

If someone you know if constantly frustrating you or treating you badly, you also cannot punish them in return. Why does Allah SWT command us to be kind to others before they are kind to even us? Kindness grows kindness, the same way that hostility grows hostility.

“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.” Quran (41:34)

Be good to someone even when they are bad, and try not to lose it! (Please read the following post on dealing with anger: https://aerh4islam.tumblr.com/post/181222425488/i-always-feel-like-i-am-on-a-good-steady-path-to )

Dear Muslims, do not spread anger. Anger causes hurt and hurt potentially causes others to do bad things; potentially against themselves or others. The Ummah is one, and when one part of the Ummah is not acting accordingly, it will affect US ALL!

Al-Nu’man ibn Bashir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The parable of the believers in their affection, mercy, and compassion for each other is that of a body. When any limb aches, the whole body reacts with sleeplessness and fever.” (Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5665, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2586)