#if only he tried NOT GETTING TOGETHER WITH AN INSECURE ASSHOLE

[inkstained-wretch]

There is no damn way Tessa will show up at IAM Ontario to work with Scott as long as Cara is there & Jacket Slacket is in the picture. He made it very clear he cannot have Tessa in his life if he wants to have a personal life (another woman & family). Tessa is taking his wishes seriously. Do people not remember how he treated her at WOF Ilderton? He was a total ass . He was disrespectful, rude & obnoxious. Do people not remember how he treated her in RTR? He treated her like she had leprosy when Jacket was in the audience. I think Tessa is being respectful of his wishes because she wants him to be happy with his choice. She is also trying to carve out something in ice dance for herself away from Scott. I hope she succeeds & Fear &Gibson do really well!

delulus can pretend that money is the issue until they're crossed in the eyes as if she wouldnt drop everything for him once jackie is officially out of the picture

[talaok]

PostOutbreak!Joel likes reader but he tries to hide it because of the age gap. To try and put us off, he can be a bit standoffish/mean but Ellie can tell it’s a facade and tells him to drop it and the age thing doesn’t matter if you really like each other. Then a fluffy confession omggg

Pairing: PostOutbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: unspecified age gap, joel being a lil insecure and scared, and Ellie being a menace, but its mostly all fluff who am i kidding

a/n: this was the cutest fucking request ever, thank you anon

You know those books or movies where it's painfully clear to everyone but the two main characters that they love each other, and you keep reading or watching thinking "How could anyone not see that he likes her?" as you increasingly get more frustrated and annoyed?

Well, this is a bit like that,

not a bit actually, completely so.

And in this metaphor, you and Joel were the two oblivious main characters, while Ellie, poor Ellie, was the unfortunate witness of your blindness.

It was so incredibly clear to her that she sometimes struggled not to laugh at your interactions.

I mean the first time Joel saw you was the very first time she'd seen him blush and forget how to speak in the span of a second- it was hilarious.

And then when he'd catch him staring at you or pretend not to purposely take the longer route home just to catch a glimpse of you outside the bakery... it was hard to only chuckle underneath her breath, but she managed... 

until today

Joel slammed the door as he got it, like really loud, not like his usual slam.

"what's wrong?" Ellie asked, her brows frowning in suspicion as he kicked his boots off his feet before halfheartedly dragging them to the kitchen where she was sitting.

"nothin'" he grumbled, 

Now that made Ellie sigh with annoyance,

he was always the one to blab about how she could always confide in him, and if that was the truth, then that meant it went both ways.

"Y'know a grumpy old man once told me that it's good to share how you're feeling" She tilted her head to the side, raising her brow as Joel rolled his eyes, filling a glass with water "Would be real hypocritical of him to not take his own advice..."

Said old man, was now rolling his eyes even harder, drowning the full glass in a second

"'s nothing, don't worry 'bout it"

"Joel" Ellie only glared at him,

and as always when it was her,

he was convinced faster than he liked to admit

He sighed, before speaking "It's stupid" he said

"I don't care" Ellie shrugged, placing her elbows on the kitchen counter where she sat and using her hands to support her head, her whole focus on Joel,

who sighed, again.

"I just-" he placed the glass in the sink before turning back to her "I just saw y/n talking to I guy I-"

"Oh my god you're jealous!" she said it with such enthusiasm and with such a smile pulling at her lips that you would have guessed she'd just won the lottery

"no" Joel frowned, shaking his head "What are you on about? I'm not jealous, I just don't like the guy"

"yeah" Ellie snorted "I'm sure you just "don't like the guy"" she air quoted as she laughed 

"Why would I be jealous?" Joel went on pretending,

perhaps lying to himself together with her, the jury was still out.

"I'm just worried for her-" he argued "she's too kind and too fucking nice and Jake's an asshole"

again, Ellie only smiled as she watched him lie so blatantly

"why would you be jealous?" she pondered his question with amusement "well I don't know... maybe 'cause you have the biggest fucking crush on her"

"What!?" he spat "I don't know what's going on with you today, where did you get all these ideas? I-"

"Oh my god please shut up Joel" she groaned, rolling her eyes "That rude asshole act you do around y/n may work with her, but you don't fool me, Miller"

Ellie could swear she saw a hint of panic in his eyes

"I know you like her, just like I know she likes you" She finally said, done with this little act "I honestly don't get why you two don't just declare your love to one another and live happily ever after or some shit"

It was like he froze,

and while Ellie thought it was because he'd just been busted by a 14-year-old, it was for a wholly different reason

"she doesn't like me" he stated

And at that, at that Ellie could just groan as her palm descended dramatically down the length of her face

God, she'd always known he wasn't the brightest, but this? This is a little too much even for him

"Are you blind or something?" she threw her hands out for emphasis "She's definitely better at hiding it than you, I'll give you that, but I mean, still... it's fucking obvious dude!"

"Ellie" Joel only shook his head "you 'don't know whatcha talkin' 'bout"

Ellie was now very close to yelling at him.

"Joel I'm serious, she likes likes you!" she argued, "why do you find that so hard to believe?"

But of course, Ellie couldn't have known what was going on in Joel's mind, how certain he was that it wasn't true,

about how he knew he didn't deserve someone like you, someone so kind and beautiful and smart,

how he had spent months trying to get the thought of you to leave his tainted mind,

how he'd decided to be mean, rough, rude to you in the hopes that you would stop being so nice to him, in the hopes that you would start to avoid him, to hate him, and he'd never have to see you or that gorgeous smile again.

And finally, Ellie didn't know about how he was too incredibly, terribly old for you, for such a pretty young woman.

Half his hair was gray for god's sake, he never had a chance

"I could be her father Ellie" he finally confessed what had been eating up at him for so long "I'm too fuckin' old"

Ellie didn't even need a moment to take that it, she listened, thought about it, and immediately rolled her eyes

"SO WHAT?" 

You don't understand how long she had to pretend not to want to give the both of you a good shake, 

it was only right for her to finally shout it out

"First of all, you're not that old" she started listing, "second of all, she obviously doesn't care" she continued "and finally Joel, if you really like her, and if she really likes you, then it doesn't matter!"

But Joel was not convinced, he'd spent too long telling himself the opposite, and he couldn't even fathom the possibility of what Ellie was saying

"you just have to tell her"

she said it like it was easy, like the mere thought of it didn't give Joel a minor heart attack, like he hadn't woken up from multiple dreams where he would confess his love and you would laugh at his face, or worse, tell him you felt the same, something Joel knew not to be the truth.

Also, Joel had no idea when exactly throughout this conversation he'd admitted to liking you, but I guess it didn't matter now, it made no sense to keep the farse on.

"I can't Ellie, I-"

"oh my god you're such a chicken" she moaned "You're the one that always tells me to be brave!"

"that's different"

"how!?" she bugged her eyes, holding her palms up in show of her frustration "I get that it's scary, but what's the worst thing that could happen?"

And that, for some reason, stuck with him,

He really had nothing to lose,

It's not like you were friends or you would talk often, it's not like he would be ruining a relationship, there wasn't one,

And yet... yet it still terrified him,

"Ellie... I don't know"

"c'mon man, but your big boy pants on" she groaned "I'm telling you, she fucking likes you"

__ __ __

Joel didn't do it.

He couldn't. He just-

You were perfect, you were perfect in a way that made him feel all the more dirty,

like being close to you, talking to you, touching you... would be like plucking a flower with torn-up hands, 

And fuck him, but Joel was scared, like he'd gone back 40 years and become 16 all over again.

He couldn't do it, he couldn't, wouldn't do it, and he'd set his mind to that, made peace with his cowardness and dread.

Until of course, Ellie's twisted mind came up with a way to force his fears to life.

"Howdy"

The kid was smiling so broadly that she looked like a child with a brand-new toy,

but Joel's eyes were somewhere else,

he was looking at you

"Hi Joel" you smiled, punching a knife into his gut

You were at his front door with his kid, who was very clearly plotting something, and Joel wondered for a moment if this was what would finally make his heart give out.

"Hi," he said, his voice sounding distant

Why is she here?

"Aren't you gonna let us in?" Ellie urged, 

Us?

"Uhm, I-"

but Ellie had already sneaked inside, dragging you behind

And now the awkward scene was even more awkward, just at the entrance of his home.

"All alright" Ellie clapped her hands, watching Joel stare at you as you tried to avoid his gaze "I'm gonna go to my room," she said, shouldering him not so subtly

"Cool down dude" she mumbled, before disappearing upstairs.

What the fuc-

"I'm sorry to barge in like this" you finally spoke, a gentle smile on your lips "Ellie said you needed to tell me something, so I just... came here I guess" you finished with an awkward laugh

Fuck-fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-

"If it's too much trouble I'll just go-"

"no," Joel said, before he could stop himself, finally realizing he was still holding the door's knob, and in a spur of bravery, deciding to use it to close the door.

"Oh, ok" you mumbled, puzzled by his demeanor "so uhm, what is it you needed to tell me?"

God damn that fucking trick-playing kid of his

"do you- do you want something to drink?"

the question took you aback, but then you did something that stunned Joel even more, you laughed,

you laughed softly, quickly, like you were letting out all this stupid awkwardness in a simple gesture

because that's how you were: Magical

"Sure" you shrugged, grinning "some water would be nice"

If Joel had to watch your face for an instant more he feared he was gonna explode, so he did all he could think of, he walked to the kitchen, only glancing at you again when he handed you your drink,

to his dismay, finding a smile still drawn on your lips.

"thank you" you said, taking a sip

god, even the way your lips wrapped around the rim made him want to drop to his knees.

He needed to get a grip.

"so... are you gonna tell me or do I have to guess?" you joked, your fingers drawing patterns on the glass

Was this really happening?

Was this hell?

"I..." he trailed off, running a hand through his hair as he glanced from the counter to you on repeat "I wanted to tell you that..."

"that?"

"that- the uhm-" he shut his eyes for a second, searching for words "the...bread you gave us this week was real good"

Goddamnit

"oh"

Even you couldn't hide your disappointment

I mean, you certainly didn't expect it. A compliment from Joel Miller? What universe were you in? 

Just like you didn't expect any of this... him actually letting you in his house or offering you water...

You had half expected him to shut the door in your face,

The most he had ever given you was a half smile at a joke you told him while he was picking up bread, the rest were all rude grumbles or just a bunch of stoic looks... 

and yet... yet a part of you couldn't help but have set expectations a little higher.

What a silly fool you'd been, 

hoping for a love confession from a man who has made it very clear he despises you,

but still- a girl can dream, right?

"thank you" you mumbled, as Joel cursed himself over and over in his head "that's very nice of you," you smiled, stalling a second to see if he was gonna say something else, interrupt you at some point,

but he remained silent

"well if that's all, I'm gonna go then, thank you for the water I-"

Until he wasn't

"no-stop- I-"

Ellie was right. 

He had to do this, he had to win his fear and try at least, or he was gonna regret it for the rest of his life, and he already had too many of those.

The problem was that you looked really beautiful today, and he'd never been good with words

Fuck it- if he was gonna make a fool of himself so be it,

He had nothing to lose and everything to win,

he had you to win.

"Yes?" you asked, trying to tame your hopes down

Think Joel, think

how the fuck do you tell a woman you like her?

"There's one other thing I've been meaning to tell ya" he cleared his throat, standing up straighter as he took a step closer to you.

"'m not great at doing this type of thing" he admitted, shaking his head slightly "but Ellie... she's right, I'm always tellin' her to be brave and everythin', so... I guess it's my turn now," he said, letting out a short, anxious laugh "I don't even know- I guess what I'm tryna say is that I'm gonna be honest now, but I want you to know that- that I know what you're gonna say and it's ok" he swallowed thickly, preparing himself from your inevitable rejection "I understand, really, I just- I thought I should try at least" 

What was going on?

What the fuck was he saying?

"Joel, what are you talking about?"

This was it.

It was now or never.

"Y/n I-"

his heart was beating out of his chest, and his legs felt like jelly, but he had to do it, he had to take a leap of faith-

"Y/n I like you" he breathed like the words longed to be out of his mouth "I like you a lot, I have for a while now"

he watched your mouth part, your whole face filling with shock as you blinked over and over, trying to make sure this was really happening.

"Y-you like me?"

"yes" he nodded "And as I said, I know you don't feel the same, I know I'm old, and I've been an asshole to you all this time, so it's ok, really I-"

"stop talking Joel" you huffed a laugh, stepping closer, and then closer again, until your hand was on his arm "please just-" you bit down a smile, and he was so confused, so fucking confused, "say it again," you asked

"I like you y/n" he murmured, trying to get his mind to start working again,

but you were leaning closer,

and who cared what his name was anyway

"you were rude to me"

"I was, I'm sorry I-"

You pretended to be thinking about it, glancing upwards as you pursed your lips together

But who were you kidding?

"you're forgiven" you smiled, looking up at him as you slowly raised yourself on your tiptoes to gently, oh so gently, press your lips to his.

Joel was certain he had just died.

But then he opened his eyes again, and you were still there, beaming up at him, and he felt such a wave of happiness that he could have started crying right there,

only he took on a different route and grabbed each side of your face with his hands, crashing his lips with yours and kissing you, kissing you like he'd been dreaming of for months

exactly how you imagined he would,

better than you imagined, actually

so much better.

"Ha! I told you, Joel!"

He groaned as he leaned away, shooting Ellie an annoyed glance

"What are you doin' here?"

"just came here to gloat" she shrugged, watching you two with a grin plastered on her face

"I think you've done enough of that" he muttered, but you could only smile

"thank you, Ellie," you grinned "Thank you for doing this"

She raised her brows, looking at Joel as if saying "See, she's thanking me, why aren't you?", but then her expression got more genuine as she shot you a smile

"you're welcome" she smiled "Better having to see you kiss than having to put up with Joel being all sad 'cause you're talking to Jack or any other guy"

You gasped with amusement as Joel shut his eyes in embarrassment, his cheeks tainting with red

"Ellie-" Joel grumbled, 

A soft giggle flowed through the room as Ellie turned away and went back up to her room, seemingly satisfied with her work

"You were jealous?" you teased him, your hands on his chest, while he'd moved one of his from your face to your waist.

"maybe I was" he fessed up

You smiled even brighter 

"And you like me?" you asked for the thousandth time

"yes, sweetheart, I really fuckin' like you" he smiled too now, his lips finding yours again in a kiss that made time stand still and the world spin around

"I like you too Joel" you finally said, giving the man an actual mini-stroke.

"say it again"

[katszumi]

“do you think i’m a good person?” you could tell katsuki had to swallow his pride in order to ask you, but when you made eye contact with the male in front of you, the clear look of insecurity was plastered over his face.

your eyebrows knitted together. “i do,” your eyes searched him. obviously, he was trying to maintain his robust appearance, but the way his shoulders slouched more than usual and the very very small pout on his lips, you noticed he wasn’t his usual self. “why are you asking me this?”

your voice lowered in volume and he hated how soft you spoke to him. he didn’t like pity, even if you didn’t view this as such.

katsuki lifted his shoulders and quickly dropped them, his eyes shifting away from yours.

“people talk,” he begrudgingly answered. “just wanted to see if the people around me agreed i guess.” and by people, he meant his stupid classmates and pro-hero teachers, but mainly he meant you.

your opinion mattered to him the most after all.

you shook your head, denying his speculation. you wondered who he was around to even hear something like this.

you inched yourself closer to katsuki on the couch in the dormitory lounge, slipping your hand into his dormat one that laid on his thigh. of course he would explode anyone else that would dare touch him in an affectionate way, but it was you. the only person who could even remotely manage to get him to feel tender inside and be sentimental back—or at least he tries his best.

katuski’s red irises ogled into yours, waiting for your lips to part.

“it doesn’t matter what they think. you’re bakugou katsuki, mr. great explosion murder god dynamight,” katsuki’s shoulders racked gently from laughter, “and you’ve saved countless lives at the age of 17. from what i know, that’s a good person and a damn good future hero.” you hoped your words would inspire him, but his eyes weren’t hopeful enough.

“yeah, i save lives, but if i’m an asshole about it then does it even matter?”

katsuki was being so vulnerable right now that you couldn’t believe it. he told you things he wouldn’t share with anyone else, but never would you have thought how open he could be with you. your heart was warm from the thought.

“don’t let people who know the surface-level bakugou affect the inner bakugou. if they choose not to learn who you really are, then their perspective of you is bias, and that’s unfair.” you explained.

“but,” he started, though you didn’t let him finish.

“and the people around you know that you are a good person. you may be loud, arrogant and brash at moments. but, we wouldn’t want it any other way. who else would we tease for fun if you weren’t there? or if we wanted some honesty, or a good laugh. we love you, kats. the inner and surface level of you.”

katsuki couldn’t help the smile that tugged on his lip, his shoulders lifting with relief. he lightly squeezed your hand that was still entwined with his. you figured it was his way of saying thank you.

“you love me?” he repeated, his smile now forming into a grin. he turned his back and started to lean back, resting his body in your lap.

you giggled, your face warming. “yes, i do.”

“say it then.” his eyes gazing into yours. of course katuski was aware of your love for him. there was nobody sane that would date someone like him; it truly seemed like a beauty and the beast situation in his eyes.

it was all more reason to fall in love with you even harder. he didn’t deserve your love and kindness, but there you were always giving it to him. you’re beautiful, delicate, and intelligent. it would be a sin to not praise the ground that you walked upon. because you were everything to katsuki and he wasn’t sure if he was up to par.

but while you were here, showering him in unconditional and gentle love, he was going to try and learn how to be the best person for you and the people around him. he would hate himself if he lost you because of his irrational behavior considering you’re the future in his eyes.

your smile matched his, crescent moon’s beginning to form under your eyes from how wide your grin was.

“i love you, katsuki.” finally. the words he loved to hear. and it ached. it ached all over. since when did he turn into such a big softie? but, it didn’t matter as long as you remained in his presence.

his rough, calloused hand reached up to cup your face, swiping his thumb across the apple of your cheek.

“i love you more, y/n.”

—

come here katsuki… lemme love u pls. hes so beautiful and soft. delicate bakugou 4 life !!!

[getodrools]

your toji really does something to me. the big mean gruff guy that he is, not even caring if you turn to a whiny mess is just top-tier. i was wondering what's your take when possessive-ish (and slightly insecure) bf toji found out you're using sex toys (dildos, vibes and suckers) whenever he's not around ;p thank u sm and i hope u have a wonderful day ahead <333

໒꒰ྀ ྀིᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ ohhgossh i’m glad it does winkwink honestly, any possessive but insecure asshole like toji is HARD on the mind omffghh especially as big as he isss makes it so scarily hot (¬////¬)… newaays ! i hope you have sparkles n’ only sunshine today ml ! ! thankuu <3

꒰ ୨ NEVER BETTER! ୧ ◞ T. FUSHIGURO ꒱

ᡣ𐭩 warnings. mdni | f! reader | pwp, usage of dildos + vibrators on reader, anal !!!!, overstimulation, masturbation ( reader ), size difference, degrading, orgasm denial, dacryphilia, tongue pulling, finger sucking, no prep ish, creampie, humiliation. ( wc. 2.6k+ )

TOJI IS ALL MORE than just confident that your needs are beyond filled – especially how heavily you sleep when he's getting ready for work; the way you sprawl out so peacefully with a soothed face from the night before… A night of stuffing and tight, burly positions that folded you into two.

Practically glowing!

He admires the way you drift off, pecking right at that pretty head he knows is lost in dreams right before he steps out…

Confident he did damn good fucking you...

But the way you — now, nibble at your bottom lip from the pressure of a pink dick squeezing past tight walls, he'd think you wouldn't be moaning just as loud as you would with his real pink dick!

. . .

“Does this mean something?” Your heart not only throbs as hard as your clit does, but the mix of covert ecstasy and shock does not settle well in the pit of your tummy.

Your eyes snap wide towards a particular man sauntering against the bedroom doors frame — forgetting today was only a meeting, not his usual dozen missions that takes hours beyond… And now as your eyes tremble, watching each other again a lot earlier than you had expected, clearly, you try hard to muster something up.

“Toji! I… I was just—” You fumble.

The irritant rumble was deep in his throat as he parted his lips before you could embarrass yourself some more, “What're you now… some cockhungry whore?” The way his voice had dropped more than just an octave had you coward; legs tweezing back together to slowly pop the toy out as if he couldn't already see the puddle seeping in the sheets…

“No no, keep that in you since you seem to be so needy.” His shock was just as pounding. But the blank slate ridden across his face seemed to be more of shame, even his posture was stiff. Almost like the thick poll hard in his confines, but the way he crossed his arms over their stacked muscles was threatening.

Was he warning you?

Don't say anything dumb, “… I missed you…”

“Really? Or do you miss having something in you, huh?” He sounds more repentant than angry, “‘Cause… that, is nothing like me.” His finger waves around in a circle.

The shroud of his features hardened like clay above his feelings. Though you never caught sight of them much, you can tell he was… off about this. Not knowing exactly how to feel, seeing his pretty girl stuff herself with a fake dick when he's only one call away made his chest ache with a broken ego… His eyes grew darker – like jungle trees in rain, not the evergreens you always admired and it made you tremble.

But in the moment, your legs opened back up as shame was swallowing you whole. Listening in faint hope he'd spare a sort of mercy…

His shoes click.

One, two, three steps he was already filling up the bed and was reaching for your legs.

Slapping them apart, too slow for what he'd asked for, “Do you need every hole stuffed? Is that what I made you out to be? Hm?” Toji tries to play it off, watching how it began to slip out from the pressure of your tight, slippery walls.

It was a bit smaller in length, and of course, the bright pink was far off from his usual tanned base and flushed tip. Other than that, the veins and girth seemed to fill you just right how he does…

Toji clicks his tongue, “This thing really makes you feel good… too?” Your eyes shake, too embarrassed now.

You nod your head, “But it's nothing compared to you…”

“Oh, I know.” But gazing at the wet slop your pussy gushes out with still, even teased by just a flimsy — dumb toy… he was feeling otherwise.

His palm tracks up your foot and to your thigh, traveling between the sweet heat of your legs ‘till he reached the suction part of the dildo. You wince soon as the toy plunged back up, filling your pussy with ease as Toji carefully watches your reactions.

Just the same. Damn.

“Toji... I promise…” Your knees clink together, but his body forcing them apart denied your retreat.

“Tch, I know that thing doesn't make you feel that good. You're just bored.” He soothes himself and ignores the other buzzing toy laid next to you too, for now…

Maybe his tongue may not work as fast as those crafts, or maybe his dick may not have multiple functions that could whirl and vibrate but he damn well was not about to be outclassed like this. Outclassed by something fake!

He had to prove a point.

He's a real man, and those are just frauds.

You didn't keep track, but his pants had already been tossed somewhere followed by his shirt.

Nibbling at your bottom lip, “You're always busy…” and his own parts, “And?”

And? Your brows hook in, “I can't just call you when you're in the middle of business...”

“Ah, making excuses now? It's o.k that you're a needy cock thirsty slut–– no need to deny it.” Toji smacks his lips, dismay was written all over him, “So, I’ll give you exactly what you seem to want so badly, ‘n maybe, that'll calm your rabbit ass down.” He was just jabbing at you left and right, it was a roller coaster of humiliation and twisted pleasure.

Your head falls back, groaning into the palms of your hands as the man fell to your body – his cock now off its leash and clanging between his thighs like a church bell. Feeling him rub closer to you, your pussy oozes and clenches around the thick rubber lodged up in you, creating a mess of goo to slime down the crack of your ass.

It was enough muck and glisten to shine his bulbous pearl; smearing the hard cap around the stream – teasing you. Teasing that perk hole that was still too tight to stick a measly finger in, a hole that was left untouched and clearly wasn't plugged up – clearly how you desperately so needed to be…

“I'll make sure your nice n’ stuffed, baby, that's what you want, right? Heh.” And with that followed by a grunt, your eyes snap wide and knock back. Toji held at your waist with a tight hold, keeping you down as you twisted in sodden bliss.

Gasping, “Toji!” and drawing out the syllables with a loud hiss. Your moans trailed off in a low whisper of pure adoration, “Ohmygod.” Your little rim hole formed an inviting seal, and you were set right against the base in a swift thrust. Aching at the long, throbbing mast - your ass squished down on his hardness with enough pressure to keep him practically trapped. He winced too as he watched with wide eyes when his strong pelvis knocked into the dildo... Forcing the toy to ram further up into you in reverential lust.

Oh. Fuck.

Two dicks? One man? His thoughts light up, a wry smirk now plastered wide. Maybe… he did like this… His hand had left a deep mark in your thighs, catching it soon as he reached for the whirling pink, strawberry-sized replacement beside you.

“Huh, this thing goes fast.” Still lodged in you, he was inspecting it and you were inspecting him. Cursing beneath your breath, he was trying to bully you out of his own damn insecurityes!

A big man with a broken ego is not a good mix.

Toji presses the vibrator right against your puffy clit, making tenfold of the pleasure throbbing up your brain. It was like your function to speak was fully cut off; all points of sensitive bits were being toyed with ‘till they bulged out in aching bliss. Your clit was already puffy as is, the session he caught now becoming more swollen as he crushed that toy between your bundle of nerves, pussy stretched wide with another toy as your perk hole was being rammed with a mean man's cock…

Your mouth seemed full with moans, but looked empty in his eyes, “Don't you start whinnin', thought you wanted to be all plugged up?” His hand is rough against your face, squeezing the fat in your cheeks until your lips sucked in his fingers; one, two, and three hooked down your throat.

“Or is this too much? Can't handle what you thought you could?” Bullying your poor holes, he lets out a hearty chuckle, “You ain't no big girl.” Those tears of pleasure lusting down your ridden cheeks and shinning down his forearm sure did express that.

Toji did not expect to go this far. But watching how you gagged around every inch of him hiked something up his spine. A sort of sick pang. And it made his cock grow an inch harder, throbbing deeper up your perk little hole, nearly worming up to your guts…

Toji was quick with his motions; hips jackhammering a cruel rhythm into your ass, and at each killing strike, the silicone cock slid back and forth. The tight pressure of your wet pussy slid it out only for his working hips to ram it back in all in sync. All walls, gummy and soft, rubbing around thick slabs of hard meat, fake or not, your mouth still drooled between his digits like so.

Moans bubbled into spit; purely messy and sticky all around. Just filthy.

“You really are a cock whore.” His brows raise, catching how you twitched beneath him.

Your high was itching close, feeling it rock in your core as soon as Toji’s hips bucked widely. But Toji knew that face, even though half was being squeezed into his palm, he saw that very shine he so adored.

You whine out; your tongue was pinched between his pointer and thumb, “I don't think so.” His body stills, yet yours spasms in wanton need.

You wanted to scream his name, but the mean clip at the point of your tongue only slobbed out a mess when you tried. Defeated. You can't win against him! When he wants to prove a point, you will get the point, and it was aching soon as you recognized this deal.

“I'm still upset with you.”

Asshole.

Your legs fall from the sky. Limp and full – as much as you had thought you could be… Toji only played fair with himself, letting his own high rock out from his tight orbs throbbing up ‘till they released from the pent pressure.

Lodged in your ass, it was warmer than usual. You could feel how his cock throbbed powerfully, swelling and pushing aside the fleshy walls surrounding him, and he was undone with a quick sodden push. He grunted loud and kept his hooded eyes locked with yours needy doe ones – teasing you, bullying you.

As he shoved his hips up, he made sure you felt him and the first jet of cum spiraled upwards like a geyser, splattering a full can of white paint across. Your perk hole clenched from the sticky ropes of cum slathering deep – no way it'd bubble out the way his hips clamped into yours. Even the rubbery dick stuck in your pussy was deeper than you could imagine.

Another rope ran out his turgid cock, still working a rhythm that could churn it thickly inside of you… Doused in white gunk, the glowing man stilled. Keeping you plugged up, Toji tilts his head and eyes you up and down, admiring the beads of sweat rolling across those pretty peaked mountains of flesh.

“Needa get something for those tits next time. Or was that enough for a while–– Satisfied now?” He snorts and you snort back up the snot threatening to glob down your chin… more than satisfied. It was a damn new world you just explored and you couldn't help but imagine what's on the other side. Hoping you'd get to cum all over him, if he'd play nice…

He sighs catching that sick flicker in your eyes but leans close to your shivering frame that's all more than ready to give out if you dared…

<– BACK: PINNED ꪆৎ NEXT: MORE TOJI –>

[once-upon-an-imagine]

Man On a Wire

A/N: somehow this worked again I really hope you loves like this!

Request - Anonymous asked: For a dialogue, how about Remus thinking you like Sirius so when you ask him to a library date he thinks it's a prank or to make Sirius jealous and he says no. Remus then finds out you were talking with Sirius about him and apologizes.

Warnings: insecurities on Remus' part, making him be a biiit of an asshole, but I think that's it! let me know if I missed anything, also is like 2am here and this is not proofread

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :) gif isn’t mine :D  

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Man On a Wire

I feel like I'm walkin' on a tight rope My heart is in my throat, I'm counting on high hopes to get me over you

You kept walking back and forth in front of the Quidditch Pitch.

“You need to calm down, love. It’s only a question” Alice tried to reassure you.

“B-but what if he says no?” you asked, feeling anxious.

“He’s not gonna say no” she insisted.

“You don’t know that. There might be a million reasons why he would say no” you said, making your best friend glare at you. “O-okay maybe not a million but… a f-few” you shrugged.

“Hey, ladies” you heard Sirius approaching and landing next to the two of you. “What are you still doing here? We’re gonna be done in a few minutes” he said looking at you.

“She’s second-guessing herself” Alice told him.

“C’mon, love. We’ve been through this. I’ve told you a million times. I know first-hand, Remus is basically in love with you-” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

“L-love? You never said anything about love, Black!”

“I didn’t think I needed to. He looks at you worse than Prongs looks at Lily or Frank looks at this one” he said, pointing at Alice.

“Hey, don’t drag Frank into this” Alice glared at him.

“My point is, it’s time you both just stop being stupid and get together” he simply said.

“But what if he says no?”

“Why would he say no?”

“I don’t know!”

“He’s not gonna say no, okay? So, just, go up there and we’ll be out here waiting for you two idiots to come out holding hands and we can go to dinner” Sirius said before he started pushing you towards the bleachers, where Remus was sitting.

“Okay, okay, I’m going!” you said, looking at your best friends one last time and taking a deep breath.

You started climbing up the empty stairs and walked over to one of the highest bleachers where you knew Remus always read while he waited for his friends to be done with practice. Not that you knew his every move you just… noticed. You felt your heart beating faster when you spotted him. He was so enthrallingly handsome, it was ridiculous. You always heard girls talking about how stunning Sirius was and, you didn’t disagree, Sirius was very attractive. But Remus’ beauty was completely different. It was hypnotizing. Which is why you were extremely worried about asking him out.

You gripped your books to your chest a bit tighter and made your way over to his spot. He was so concentrated on his book that his tongue was sticking out a little and he was resting his head on his right hand as he read. You cleared your throat a little, getting his attention and making him look up at you.

“Um… h-hello, Remus” you smiled, nervously.

“Hi” he smiled back at you.

“I am sorry to um b-bother you” you started. “Uh, is it okay if I join you?”

“Oh, yeah, sure” he said, getting up and scootching a little to make room for you. How were you not supposed to fall in love with this man?

“Um, th-thank you” you said, placing your bag on the floor and taking your books out. “So, um… what are you reading?”

“Oh” he said, marking the page on his book. “Um, I’m reading A Murder is Announced” he said, showing it to you. “Have you read it?”

“Oh, yes, I read this last year. It’s a really good book. Are you enjoying it?”

“I am” he nodded. “So, what brings you to the Quidditch Pitch today?” he asked, all of the sudden.

“Oh, w-well, there’s a match on Friday” you said. “... right?”

“Right” he smiled. “Are you planning on coming to the match?”

“W-well, I don’t know. I’m not much of a Quidditch fan, as you know” you said, feeling your cheeks burn. “S-so, I thought maybe if I watch them practice I might understand it a little bit better?” you said, nervously.

“Why the sudden interest?” he asked, curiously.

“Um, I don’t know” you said, nervously running a hand through your hair. “It’s our last year, so… I promised myself to try new things” you smiled wearily. “So, um… do you think you can explain some of it for me?”

“Um… sure” he said, putting his book down. “I mean, I’m not the best myself but I did read Quidditch Through the Ages” he said, making you laugh a little. “So, Prongs is the captain” he said, pointing at his friend. “He, Sirius, and Kurt are Chasers. So, they have to get the Quaffle through the hoops” he instructed.

“Okay, that doesn’t seem that complicated” you said.

“Right, but it’s the Beater’s job to throw the Bludgers at them and prevent them to do so” he told you. “Fabian and Gideon are really good. But, we’re playing Ravenclaw on Friday and their Beaters are quite ruthless” he explained.

“So, I take it you’re coming to the match on Friday?”

“I am” he nodded. “I never miss a Gryffindor match” he smiled.

“Oh, Merlin! Look at him! He looks even better with his hair like that” you heard a group of girls a few steps down and to your right. They were ogling and sighing over Sirius, who wasn’t as far, brushing his sweaty hair with his hand.

“Ugh, I know! He’s stupidly handsome” another one giggled.

“So… Sirius has his own cheerleading section?” you chuckled.

“Yeah, he kind of does” Remus told you as Sirius made his way over to the group of girls in his broom.

“Hello, ladies” he said, flashing his signature handsome smirk at them, making them giggle and they all started complimenting him.

When he spotted you, he quickly sent a wink your way. You failed to see Remus rolling his eyes as he started putting his stuff in his bag, which is why he failed to see Sirius widening his eyes at you before pointing at Remus hinting that you needed to ask him. You sighed, rolling your eyes, and took a deep breath one more time.

“Um, R-Remus?”

“Yes?” he asked, looking back at you.

“Um, w-well, I was um…” you stuttered nervously. “C-could I ask you something?”

“Sure” he said, turning to look at you.

He noticed you were nervously playing with your hands before you looked at Sirius one last time and then you finally faced him. He prepared himself to hear you ramble on about how much in love with Sirius you were and if he could help you fix a date with him or something.

“W-well, I was w-wondering if, uh-” you said, again. “If you’re not busy on F-Friday, um… m-maybe you’d like to um…” you stammered. “G-go with me to the Library to study, b-before the match?” you managed to finally spit out. You felt your heartbeat increase as you waited for your answer.

“What?” Remus frowned.

“O-or if you’re busy we can c-come to the match?” you tried, smiling nervously. “O-or I b-believe it’s a Hogsmeade weekend-”

“What’s your angle?” he asked you all of the sudden, taking you by surprise.

“Um… a-angle?”

“Honestly, if you want to go out with Sirius, just ask him” he said, standing up and grabbing his bag.

“Sirius? W-what are you talking about-?”

“You know, a lot of girls have asked me what’s the best way to ask him out but none of them have sunk so low to the point of pretending that you would like to spend with me to get closer to him-”

“That’s not what I was-” you tried to explain, getting up yourself.

“What is it then? Are you trying to make him jealous or something?”

“What? No! Remus, I don’t-”

“You know what? No, thank you. I honestly have better things to do than to spend a day with you talking about Sirius” he said before walking away, leaving you standing there, mouth opened, dumbfounded. You didn’t even hear the last things he said. The only words ringing in your ears were ‘No, thank you. I honestly have better things to do than to spend a day with you.’

Your eyes kept looking at him as he climbed down the stairs and you saw the group of girls that were looking at Sirius. They all looked at you with sorrow in their eyes. They felt sorry for you. You had just been rejected in front of them. You felt your eyes starting to water as you saw Alice running towards you.

“Hey, what happened? I just saw Remus leaving-”

“He said no” you silently said as a few tears ran down your cheeks.

“What? Why?”

“He said he- um” you tried to explain to your friend as she sat you down. “He thought I was asking him out b-because I wanted to get closer to Sirius” you said.

“What? That’s ridiculous! Why would he think that?”

“I don’t know” you said. “I tried to tell him that wasn’t the case b-but he didn’t let me explain and he left” you finished, crying a little harder.

“Hey” Sirius said, flying over to the two of you. “What happened? Why are you crying?”

“Remus said no” Alice informed him as she hugged you.

“What? Why?”

“He thought she was only asking him because she wanted to ask you out” Alice explained.

“He said that?” Sirius asked you and you slowly nodded. “I’m gonna bloody kill him” he muttered under his breath. “Look, love, I’ll talk to him, okay?”

“N-no, it’s okay” you said, trying to stop more tears from falling. “I d-don’t think Remus likes me that way anyways” you said, sadly.

“Don’t say that, love” Alice insisted. “Let’s just go to dinner and we can talk things through” she suggested.

“I’m not hungry” you said, pulling away and grabbing your things. “You guys should go” you smiled sadly at them. “I think I’m just gonna go to my dorm” you told them, eying the group of girls who were now leaving.

“No, we can talk to Remus-”

“Go and rest, okay? I’ll bring you something” Alice interrupted Sirius.

“Thanks guys” you smiled weakly at them. “I’ll see you tomorrow” you said before making your way out.

“Bye, love” Sirius said before turning to Alice. “I’m going to kill Remus” he repeated.

“If you don’t, I will” she replied.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“What the bloody hell is your problem?” Sirius asked when he burst into his dorm.

Remus was reading a book, James was coming out of the shower, and Peter was just sitting there waiting for everyone to get ready so they could go to dinner.

“Which one of us are you talking to, Pads?” James asked, confused.

“Why don’t you ask your stupid friend Moony” Sirius said, glaring at him.

“What are you talking about?” Remus frowned confused.

“Oh, you’re going to play dumb? So we’re just going to pretend that nothing happened back in the Quidditch Pitch and you didn’t make anyone cry?”

“What?” James and Peter asked at the same time.

“Again, what are you talking about? Nobody cried” Remus said, closing his book and getting up.

“Really? Are you sure about that, Moony? Are you really sure?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Padfoot. You have no idea what happened!”

“Oh, really? So, you didn’t reject her when she asked you out?”

“What? Who asked you out?” James asked, interested.

“Nobody-”

“Nobody? Really? The girl that you have practically been in love with for years is now nobody?”

“What? She asked you out?” Peter asked.

“You said no?” James asked, extremely confused.

“She didn’t ask me out, okay? She was only asking to spend time with me to get closer to you!”

“What?” James and Peter asked again. “That doesn’t make any sense!” James said.

“Yeah, what are you talking about, mate?” Peter asked.

“Why the fuck would she want to get closer to me? We’re friends!”

“Because she’s in love with you, just like every other girl in this stupid school is, apparently!” Remus snapped.

“You see? You see how stupid your friend is?” Sirius told James.

“Stop talking to me as if I’m not here! And stop calling me stupid!”

“Mate, you are stupid! You truly are if you think she was only asking you out to get closer to Sirius!” James told him.

“Shut up! I saw the way that she was looking at him! You winked at her, and all of the sudden she’s interested in Quidditch and she wants to go to the match on Friday, and I’m supposed to believe she doesn’t fancy you?”

“Mate, I highly doubt she’s interested in Quidditch” Peter laughed.

“Yeah, she’s as interested in Quidditch as she is in Padfoot” James added.

“Moons, I winked at her because I knew she was nervous about asking you out. See, it was actually the other way around. She came to me and asked me how she could ask you out” he explained.

“W-what?” Remus asked, feeling terrible.

“Do you honestly not know how much in love with you she is?” Peter asked, confused.

“Yeah, she’s always looking at you, mate” James told him.

“She’s n-not” he insisted, trying to convince himself that he hadn’t just turned you down and that you were not in love with him. “She likes Padfoot. She’s always with him-!”

“Yeah, talking about you, you idiot!” Sirius told him. “She’s always asking what your favorite books are, what movies do you like, and what would be the best way to ask you out! And when she finally got the courage to do it, you said no” he explained.

“Holy shit” Remus muttered to himself, plopping on his bed again. “I am so stupid” he stated.

“Yes, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, mate” Sirius said, sitting next to him. “So, what are you going to do?”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Throughout the next few days, Remus tried endlessly to find you so he could apologize but it was useless. You were avoiding him like the plague. Even when he tried using the Map, it was as if you were one step ahead of him. He looked for you in the Library, where he thought you’d be even if he said no, but you were nowhere to be found. He hoped you would make it to the match on Friday, but again, you were a no-show.

It wasn’t until Saturday when he begged Alice to drag you to Hogsmeade so he could just ‘casually’ run into you. It took him and Sirius to convince her since she was still mad at Remus for rejecting you, but she caved.

So, here you were, on your way to Hogsmeade as a third wheel on Alice and Frank’s date, although they insisted it wasn’t a date, so Marlene and Dorcas were here too. So, all in all, you were fifth-wheeling.

“Come on, love. It’s gonna be fun!” Marlene said, linking her arm with yours. “We can do whatever you’d like!”

“Yeah, we can go to the Three Broomsticks, or Tomes and Scrolls, or the music shop” Dorcas suggested.

“To be honest with you, girls, I kind of just want to go to Honeydukes to get as much candy as I can carry and then go back” you said with a sad sigh.

“What? No, love, it’s a beautiful day!” Marlene insisted.

“Look, we have some errands to run, why don’t you go to Honeydukes to get some candy, and then we can meet at the Three Broomsticks?” Alice suggested as you entered the village.

“Um… can’t I just by my candy and go-”

“No!” Dorcas and Marlene said in unison. “We’re gonna head to the Three Broomsticks to get a booth, so you better come there after buying your candy” Dorcas added.

“Ugh, fine!” you said, frustrated.

In all honesty, all you wanted to do was buy an endless amount of candy and go back to your dorm. Ever since Remus rejected you, you felt people watching you everywhere you went. You could hear them talking about you and you were certain that the girls that witnessed the entire thing had already spread around your very much public rejection. Which is why you had been avoiding going out of your dorm as much as you could.

You turned around to make your way to Honeydukes, completely missing that your friends joined James, Peter, Lily, Remus, and Sirius at the Three Broomsticks.

“You’re up, Lupin” Alice said, still glaring at him as the rest made their way inside the pub.

Remus took a deep breath before he followed you into the sweetshop. He spotted you on one of the furthest shelves, holding, or trying to, as many sweets as you could in your hands. He felt a sweet smile forming on his face as he watched you. A small part of him still thought that Sirius was wrong. That there was no way that you could ever be interested in someone like him.

But his heart fluttered more intensely with each step he took towards you, and he knew that whether Sirius was right or wrong, he still needed to apologize to you for the way he spoke. When one of the many chocolate frogs you had fell on the floor, he quickly made his way over to you and picked it up.

“Um, here, I think you dropped this” he said, making you turn around to face him. His heart ached a little when the smile dropped off your face when you saw it was him.

“Oh… um” you said, grabbing the treat from his hand. “Thanks” you smiled nervously.

“How have you been?” he asked, cursing himself silently. “I uh… didn’t see you at the match yesterday” he added.

“Right… I wasn’t really in the mood to go” you smiled firmly.

“Oh” Remus said, feeling even worse. “W-well, you missed a good match” he chuckled. “Gryffindor won” he said.

“I heard” you replied noticing a few people looking your way. “Um, I should uh- probably get going” you said, as you were going to start making your way out, but you felt Remus gently grab your arm and turn you around.

“Wait!” he said, getting even more attention from the students around you. “Um, I…” he felt his heart beating a little faster. He didn’t like dragging this much attention to himself and he wanted to ask you to go somewhere a bit more private. But, firstly, he didn’t think you’d like to go anywhere with him until you apologized and secondly, he very much publicly rejected you, so maybe he had to do the same thing. “I wanted to apologize to you” he blurted out.

“Oh, R-Remus, you don’t have to-”

“Yes, I do” he said, getting closer to you and pulling you a little away. “I’m really sorry about the way that I spoke to you” he said. “I’m sorry for assuming that you were just talking to me to get closer to Sirius-”

“Why did you think that?” you asked all of the sudden.

“E-excuse me?”

“Why would you think that the only reason I would talk to you or wanted to spend time with you would be to get closer to someone else?” you asked. “I mean, I thought- I thought we were friends… Is that… um… is that what you think of me?” you asked, sadly.

“What? No!” he assured you. “I don’t- we are friends” he insisted. “I just…” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, here it goes” he said, taking a deep breath. “I like you, love” he started. “I really like you. I’ve liked you so much for so long, I’m pretty sure that I’m very much in love with you” he confessed. “But, I never in a million years thought that y-you could like me like that” he said. “I thought that you were only interested in Quidditch because you wanted to see Sirius and I saw him wink at you, so my reasoning was that you liked him because, for some reason every girl in school does, and that would be the logical thing-”

“The logical thing would be for me to like Sirius?”

“Well, yes” he said as if it was obvious.

“Why?”

“Why would you have any interest in spending time with me then?”

“Because I like you, you big idiot!” you blurted out, frustrated.

“Y-you do?”

“Yes! I figured Sirius might have told you by now, or you might have heard it from the entire school who apparently knows and you’re the only one who’s still oblivious to it!”

“Well, to be honest, Sirius did say something but, I still wasn’t entirely sure that it was true-”

“Why, Remus? Why do you think it’s so impossible for me to be in love with you?”

“L-love? Did you just say love?” he asked, smiling.

“I uh-” you said, realizing you just let it slip. “Well, you said it first!”

“Well, yes, because it makes sense for me to be in love with you, but it doesn’t make sense for you to be in love with me!”

“What? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! Why?”

“Why? Oh, I don’t know, maybe we should discuss this on the next lunar phase” he said, muttering the last words.

“Oh, Merlin! Really? Is that what this is about?”

“For starters!” he argued. “Trust me, it would make a lot more sense if you liked Sirius! He’s handsome and always laughing, he’s funny and witty-”

“Remus, are you trying to tell me that I should be in love with Sirius? Or that you are in love with Sirius?” you smirked a little.

“That’s not what I meant!” he glared at you. “Look, I just… I never thought that someone like you would ever want to be with… someone like me” he muttered the last part.

“Wow, you really are an idiot, aren’t you?” you chuckled as Remus rolled his eyes.

“Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Who called you an idiot?”

“Sirius!” he complained.

“Aw” you smiled. “Well, we can be two idiots in love, or you can just reject me again. It’s your move, Lupin” you told him.

Remus bit his bottom lip, trying to prevent his smirk from getting bigger. He walked closer to you and gently pulled you closer to him by your waist before he leaned down to press his lips against yours. You suddenly dropped all the candy you had in your hands and you quickly wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

“I choose two idiots in love” he smiled before kissing you once more.

“Good answer, Lupin” you smiled.

“Oh, I also wanted to ask” he said, grabbing your sweets and placing them in a basket. “If you’re not too busy if you… wanted to go on a date with me?”

“Well, I told Dorcas and Marlene I would go to the Three Broomsticks-”

“Yes, they are all waiting for us to get there” he informed you.

“Oh, okay, so that’s a no on the Three Broomsticks then” you said, as you walked over to pay for your things.

“I think that’s for the best” he smiled.

“Well then, it looks like my day is free” you said, as Remus held your hand when you walked out of Honeydukes.

He pulled you back a little and kissed you once more. “I really am sorry, love” he smiled.

“I know you are, Rem” you smiled back at him.

“So, does this mean you’ll keep me company on Quidditch matches?”

“If you’re there, I guess I can be there” you smiled as he kissed you again, neither of you noticing your group of friends looking at the two of you from the window at the pub across the street.

“Fucking finally” Sirius muttered, bumping Alice’s fist. 

The End

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A/N: hope you loves like it! Charlie's coming up next!

[alixmarauders]

Why Try | poly! marauders x fem reader

slight angst, fluff

word count: 1.3k

CW: mention of not eating (previous chapter), swearing, kissing (?)

tag list: tag: @staarflowerr @mooonyxoxo @liviessun @lonely-nerd-sodaholic @hcqwxrtss123

chapter 1, chapter 2, this is chapter 3, chapter 4 will be coming soon

After the fainting accident, you decided to go for a walk together by the Black Lake, given the fact that your secret relationship wasn’t a secret anymore.

Sirius sat by a tree, gesturing for you to lay down and rest your head on his thighs; you did so, James by your side and Remus at your feet, massaging your calves. You sat in comfortable silence for a while, though you knew it was bound to end.

“I hate to interrupt this, but I feel like we have to talk” You turned your head to Remus, who was looking at you sweetly. “First, how are we gonna deal with your brother? You said he was really protective over you”

You took a deep breath, you could just keep up with this lie, or tell the truth. “He is, but he’ll get over it, I’ll deal with him”. You smiled, trying hard to school your expression in order to not seem suspicious.

“Okay doll, still you shouldn’t have to deal with him alone, you know? We are more than happy to help” James looked at you softly, and you felt like a complete asshole, lying to him like that.

The problem was, you were ashamed of your insecurities. Even it still hurt to think about them, it seemed so silly to talk, to acknowledge the fact that you were, in fact, sad over something so insignificant.

“Why did you avoid us?” You startled, looking up at Sirius.

“I didn’t-“

“You did. We were worried sick, but we didn’t want to overstep, because we aren’t official yet. If you were sad you could have come to us, we could have talk it out, you know?” He looked genuinely hurt. “What happened? I just- We just want to know, please? And also, why did you starve yourself?”

Now you were feeling ashamed and guilty. You were not right for them, you didn’t know much about Sirius family situation, but you knew that he didn’t need another thing to worry about. Remus and James had their problems, and they needed to support Sirius, definitely not you.

“Love? Talk to us, will you?”

“This was a mistake” You tried hard not to cry, to seem heartless.

“What? What was a mistake?” Sirius looked devastated, and that hurt even more.

Your voice cracked slightly. “This whole relationship thing, I’m no good for you, I ruined everything like I always do” You sniffed slightly. “I’m sorry” You quickly detangled from them.

“No, wait Y/N, I didn’t mean-“ You started walking away, James was swearing while Sirius voice sounded dangerously close to crack. “Y/N! For God’s sake, come back”

You did it. You ruined everything like you always did, but this time it was for the best. This time you were protecting them, and this made you feel slightly better.

Maybe you spoke too quickly.

Remus had your wrist in an iron grip. “Y/N. You can’t just walk away like that.” You tugged your wrist, but he didn’t let go. “No, now you’ll listen to me. You can’t run away without an explanation. Here’s what’s gonna happen: you will sit down, and you will explain what is going on in that pretty head of yours, and we will listen to you. Then, only then, we will talk this out”

You sniffled, watching Sirius and James catching up to you, the latter hugging you tightly. You broke.

“It’s just that I ruin everything, I always do!” You cried. “I don’t mean to hurt the ones I love, but I just do, look at Sirius! I might not know everything about his situation, but I know he doesn’t need to worry about me, on top of everything.” James was rubbing soothing circles on your back. “I’m not enough for you.”

Sirius forrowed his brows. “Love, don’t think for a moment that you’re a burden. You made these last weeks so full of joy, you made me worry less about everything else.“

“But you were worried about me, I didn’t mean to-“

“Listen, I’m always going to worry about the people I love, understood? I can’t just not be effected by it, so you should get used to it”

Your heart did a somersault. “Love?”

They all smiled at you gently. “Yeah, you’re becoming more important to us every day, it’s definitely starting to feel like love to us” James kissed your forehead. “We had a massive crush on you far before you started talking to us, you know? So don’t think for a moment you’re not good enough for us, because you are, I can assure you baby. Just think about the heartbreak you will put us through if you leave”

“It’s just- Look at me, why are you so interested in me? I have nothing special, I’m not super smart, I don’t look like a model, I fail at all of my hobbies! You are literally perfect, and popular, and smart and funny, I don’t get it. You are just-“ A sob broke through. “I don’t deserve you”

They all hugged you, Remus cradled your head in his hands, he was so gentle, so soft, you had no choice but to melt into his touch. “I won’t tolerate hearing you talk so badly about yourself; all of this negativity will inevitably affect your perception of yourself and our relationship, and we can’t have that, now can we?” You shook your head. “Exactly. So next time you feel like that, you will come to us, we will talk it out and then cuddle, but you just can’t disappear on us! Not even the Gray Lady would do this!”

“Yeah, Moony is right.” You looked up at Sirius. “I know that avoided us seemed like the best option, but avoiding a problem doesn’t make it go away; and just for the record, not eating doesn’t make a problem disappear, don’t neglect yourself like that ever again, for the love of God”

Your crying quieted down during Remus and Sirius’ speech, now you were looking into Moony’s eyes, you felt his breathing getting slightly more laboured.

“Can I kiss you, baby?” You breath hitched, and you nodded slightly.

You felt his lips press on yours, softly, the scar on his upper lip rubbing gently against you. His hands started making their descent, first on your waist, then at the small of your back, the tips of his fingers on the upper part of your ass. You licked at his lower lip, making him moan.

Suddenly, his tongue was in your mouth, and his hands were squeezing your ass, making you whimper. He then started trailing kisses down your neck, making your legs wobble. Sirius came up behind you, his arms around your waist.

“You like what Remus is doing to you, doll?” You nodded, incapable of saying a word. “Yeah? What if I did this?” Starting at the base of your neck, he started kissing and licking the part of your neck unoccupied. You were so lost in the things they were doing to you, you didn’t realise that Remus was actually giving you hickeys.

You felt Remus going away, you were not given the moment to mourn his loss because he was replaced with James, who started kissing you, his hands directly on your ass, squeezing softly and pressing you more into him.

“Okay, I think it’s best to stop this before it gets out of control” You blushed, Sirius smirking down at you.

“I think we should go cuddle in our dorm” James gently massaged your shoulders. “How was our first kiss, love?”

You felt your ears burning. “G-Good. It was good, fantastic actually”

They all laughed, leading you to the Gryffindor tower.

[ashwhowrites]

heyy! i have a request that is kinda similar to affection which btw is my all time fav eddie angsty fic! anyways feel free to drop it cause you’ve already kinda written it. eddie and reader have been dating and their relationship is still fairly new and one night when they’re hanging out with everyone the reader overhears eddie telling everyone she’s clingy. thank you so much bby for all the amazing works you’ve shared with us 🤍🤍

Thank you so much!

"affection" is one of my favorites as well

I think I can change it enough where it won't sound the same!

Eddie wasn't huge on public displays of affection. In fact, he hated it. He hated someone constantly tugging on his arm. He didn't like to be hugged in front of a group. He refused to kiss in front of anyone. He only wanted affection in private.

Y/N never knew that. She thought showing each other off was adorable. She loved to be touched and to touch others. Her body physically couldn't handle being left alone. She needed reassurance of someone being there

So when she began to date Eddie, she didn't think twice about it. Easily sliding her hand into his as they walked through the hallways. Pecking his cheek before she ran off to class. She played with his hair when she sat behind him in class. Rubbing his leg with her foot during hellfire. She adored touching her boyfriend and she didn't think once that he didn't like it.

She always wanted to hangout with him. Her life at home was lonely and she didn't like to be left there. Always running over to Eddie's right after school and staying until she had to leave for bed. He never said a word, so how was she supposed to know?

Eddie tried very hard to never snap at her. They've been dating for two months and he was going insane. But the relationship was new, she was in the puppy love stage. Surely she'd get over that.

Then two months turned into four. And she was still clinging on to him. He knew she needed to feel a body against hers. Even before they dated she always hooked on to someone nearby. And now since he was her boyfriend, he was the default.

And maybe he was an ass for talking behind her back. A grade A asshole for telling his friends she was so damn clingy but he needed it off of his chest.

~~

"she's just so clingy and I feel like I can't breathe. She's at my house every day for hours. I haven't had a moment alone in months. She's holding my hand, cuddling me, and kissing me in front of everyone. I don't know, I just feel like that stuff is for us when we are alone"

She was behind the wall, getting back from the bathroom. Heart cracking and insecurity flooded her body as her boyfriend told their friends she was clingy.

She knew she was, she just didn't see it as a bad thing. She'd love it if someone wanted to cling on to her. It would make her feel loved and appreciated. She wasn't hurt by being called clingy. She was hurt that he never bothered to tell her for the last four months that she was suffocating him.

She quickly wiped her face and cleared her throat. It's fine, she'll just talk to him one on one when they left Steve's.

She smiled as she entered the room. Now she knew why the room got silent. Steve and Robin threw her pity looks but she shrugged it off. She sat next to Eddie, not on his lap like she was before. When he breathed a sigh of relief, her body stung. But she shrugged it off.

~~

When he parked in her driveway to drop her off she spoke up. She wasn't going to let this eat her alive for his benefit.

"why didn't you tell me I was too much for you?" She asked, turning her head to look at him.

He clenched his eyes and sighed.

"I didn't mean for you to hear that" he admitted.

"I know but I would have understood. I'm a big girl, I think I can handle giving you some space when you need it" she wasn't angry and she wasn't hurt anymore.

"I know, it was a dick move" he confessed

"let's work on it together. I'll try to hold back and the days I forget, just tell me when it's too much okay?"

He felt even worse. She smiled sweetly at him as he nodded. She pecked his cheek and skipped into her house.

She was sweet, a ball of sunshine and he felt like the damn rain cloud.

~~

It was weird at first for her. She wasn't sure what things made Eddie feel suffocated so she slowly learned.

When she walked in the halls next to Eddie and Robin, she went to lace her fingers with his. Slightly touching his fingertips. Feeling a small kick in the gut when his hand went into his pocket. Still ranting about a story on his mind. Robin watched as her cheeks flushed embarrassed and took her hand away. Robin didn't understand why Eddie hated the affection. It was his fucking girlfriend for god sakes.

But Robin was a good friend. Easily slipping her hand into Y/N's free one. Y/N smiled at the feeling, giving Robin a grateful look. Y/N giggled as Robin swung their connected hands forward and backwards. Robin smiled hearing her laugh.

Eddie noticed the girls next to him were no longer listening to his story. Watching his girlfriend giggle and smile brightly as Robin swung their arms around. He ignored the upset feeling in his stomach and continued to walk beside them. Easily becoming the third wheel.

~~

Movie night at Steve's was the next thing she had to learn.

She crawled right next to Eddie, as she always did. Throwing a blanket over them as she squeezed under his arm. Her arm wrapping around him and head resting on his shoulder. Feeling his body tense, she quickly apologized

"sorry eds" she said quietly, giving him a defeated look as she sat up straighter, pulling her body away from his. She knew she told him she'd work on it for him, but she didn't expect it to hurt so much.

He gave her a small smile and threw his arm over the couch. Sitting comfortably without a care in the world.

Steve's heart hurt watching as the girl cuddled into herself. Picking at her nails as she tried to keep her hands away from trailing to her boyfriend.

"Y/N, come here" Steve said, opening his arms with a smile on the other side of the couch. He knew she would not be able to rest without cuddling during a movie. And he wasn't going to let his friend be upset because her boyfriend was an asshole.

"okay!" She said excitedly. Yanking the blanket off of Eddie and scooting to the other side where Steve sat. Settling herself in his arms as he sat the blanket on them. Throwing his free arm on her shoulder as he pressed play to the movie.

Eddie glared at Steve's arms wrapped around his girlfriend. The spot next to him is now empty. Just because he didn't want to cuddle doesn't mean Steve should just be touching her all over. Jealousy settled in his veins. He couldn't remember one thing about the movie. Watching his girlfriend fall asleep on Steve's shoulder as she snuggled into him more and more.

~~

But when they were alone, he got her to himself. She realized Eddie only liked to be touched in the privacy of just them. Which was fine.

She kissed his face repeatedly as he laughed under her. Hands tickling her sides to get her off of him.

He smirked in victory when he landed on top of her. Kissing her slowly as she reached up to tangle her hands in his hair.

He didn't want to admit it, but he missed feeling her. They haven't spent a night alone in weeks. He hadn't kissed her this deeply in days. Hasn't felt her hands in his hair, her warmth transferring on to him.

She pulled away with a giggle. Kissing his nose as she moved from under him.

He watched as she put on her jacket.

Confused, he spoke out, "wait. Where are you going?" He sat up on his bed, hand reaching to grab hers

"it's almost 7 baby" she said it like he was supposed to understand what that meant

"and? You never leave that early"

"I know but I've been with you all day long. Now it's time for you to have your alone time, remember?" She said softly. Shaking her head and laughing quietly at her boyfriend's confused face.

She kissed his lips quick again as she walked out of bedroom

"see you in the morning!"

And the door slammed shut.

Eddie quickly realized he didn't want alone time tonight. He's been alone for fucking weeks it felt like.

~~

It was date night and Eddie was more excited than ever. He felt like his body was growing restless being away from her touch this long.

He sat next to her in the booth, one arm thrown over her shoulder and holding her hand as she reached up.

He kissed the side of her head as they waited for their food to arrive.

She was ranting about her day. Her free hand tracing shapes into his hand that rested on the table.

He hummed softly as he listened. His body felt like it was melting into hers. Her back against his chest. Her head is just below his chin. He forgot how nice it was to just hold her.

"Eddie! Y/N!" Robin announced as she dragged Steve over to the booth

"can we sit?"

Eddie went to say no but his sweet girlfriend already said yes.

He felt his body slump in the booth when she moved her body away. Unlacing their hands, scooting over to her side of the booth. No longer sharing one spot. She held her own hands as she greeted their friends.

Eddie hated how cold his body felt. But he asked for this. This was what he wanted. But now he was slowly learning he missed her clinginess. And he hates more than anything that he made her change who she was.

He watched her as she talked to their friends. Eddie kept moving his hand closer to her seat. Hoping that maybe she's been too caught him in talking and just hold it. Subconsciously touching him. But she did. She noticed his hand getting closer but figured she was the one moving. Quickly pulling herself further away. Sending him a small smile.

Eddie needed to fix this and do it fast

~~

Y/N and him were walking side by side towards their class. Ever since Eddie put his hand in his pocket that day, she kept hers tight on her books. But today she had none to carry. Eddie moved himself closer, ranting about hellfire. Bumping his shoulder into hers with a smile. She smiled back and was caught off guard when she felt his warm hand slip into hers. She felt him squeeze her hand a few times but kept his rant going. She smiled to herself and squeezed back.

~~

At the next movie night, she was heading to sit next to Steve when Eddie grabbed her by her waist. She squealed when he placed her on his lap, throwing a blanket over them. Tucking her head under his chin and wrapping his arms around her, tight.

She felt him kiss her head and told Steve to play the movie.

She smiled to herself and snuggled further into his arms.

Eddie smiled as she fell asleep, this time on him.

~~

When she came over to his house after school, he made sure she didn't feel the need to leave.

Moaning into her mouth as she sat on his lap. His tongue tasted her mouth as he held on to her hips.

She pulled away breathless, the excuse to leave on her tongue.

"don't go" he said first. Kissing down her neck.

"you don't want alone time?" She asked, pulling back to look at him fully

"I'm tired of alone time. I was wrong. I love you and I love when you cling to me. I love when you hold my hand, cuddle with me during movies, and when you stay all night long. I'm sorry for making you change. I should have changed. I miss you and I hate missing you when you are right here" he said quietly, still holding on her hips to make sure she didn't move. "alone time just reminds me how fucking good I had it before I fucked it up"

"Eddie, you didn't fuck up. It's okay to not like certain things. We are just opposite and that's fine" she smiled

"no baby no. The thing is the second you took it all away, I wanted it more than ever. I'm sorry and I'll keep saying it. You are perfect just the way you are. Please just stay a little longer"

She smiled down at him as he nudged his head into her chest. Inhaling her scent as he hugged her tighter

"okay Eddie, I'll stay"

Being in a new relationship was all about learning. Learning about the person you love but also learning about yourself. And Eddie learned he loved being touched, even in front of everyone.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975@ag

o-godance@magnificantmermaid

[kitasgloves]

hii!!um can you mb do comforting your bf pt3?If you can include sunarin or kei. I know you have more requests n probably personal work so,of course ,no need to hurry !! <3

comforting your insecure bf

part 1 . part 2 . part 4

— ♬ NSFW, MINORS DNI, gn reader, based on this post

— ♬ hi anon thank you for requesting i hope you like it !

— ♬ Suna Rintaro

Suna Rintaro's first encounter with you wasn't anything spectacular. There's no spark, no butterflies in his stomach, no reaction. He just viewed you as another human in the world. You were friends with the Miya brothers so it was inevitable that one of the brothers was going to introduce you to him. It was through his best friend Osamu Miya that he met you.

He thinks you're cool, he doesn't expect anything from you. Suna only saw you as a friend, right? Well, that was before he began spending more time with you. In the beginning, it was him, Osamu, and you. Sometimes Atsumu joined. Then all of a sudden the Miya twins were out of the equation and the two of you started hanging out.

You matched his vibe perfectly. You shared the same sense of humor, you were clever and quick with rebuttals to his remarks, and you had a sweet side that made his insides feel like mush. Before he knew it, Suna was hanging out more with you than his best friend and he gets teased for it.

"I think yer fallin' in love with [Name]"

Yeah, right. It's not true. You only give him the prettiest smiles and the most contagious laugh. The playful glimmer in your eyes, the way you would reach for his hand when you're nervous, how you lean on his shoulder when you're getting sleepy when watching a movie, he can smell your perfume, your shampoo, he can feel your warmth, and see the color of your lips...oh shit. Osamu is right, he is falling in love with you.

But there's no fucking way he's going to admit it. The way Suna sees it, you're too good for him. He's an asshole, a mean and sarcastic piece of shit. You're a special and genuine person that he doesn't deserve. He's been thinking about his feelings for you lately up until the Miya twins' birthday.

He deliberately planned to get wasted, maybe find somebody else to make him forget about his stupid crush on you. But his attempt was futile because, in the crowded room, his eyes still searched for you. And the fact that you immediately meet his eyes was so unfair, you make him so weak. Yet he doesn't crumble. He stubbornly avoids you.

"Rin! Hey! Why are you avoiding me?"

"Fuck off, [Name]"

Suna slurred as he tried to get away from you, terrified that if he lets you reach him he'll confess. He finishes his cup of alcohol when you finally catch him, as he gazes at you, his blood goes cold. There were tears in your eyes and you were gripping his arm.

"Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?"

You asked, your tone desperate and Suna's heart just shatters. Jesus, he is a certified dick. Even in his drunk state, he tries to keep it together to tell you that you haven't done anything wrong.

"Really?"

"Yeah, M'sorry [Name]"

"Oh thank god"

You hugged him, incredibly relieved. Suna was quick to return the embrace, burying his face against your neck, almost feeling his eyes go wet. And in a spur-of-the-moment or his fear of almost losing you, Suna pulls away and crashes his lips against yours in a silent confession. There was a muffled squeak from you. He thinks he's dreaming when he feels you kiss him back. Suna thinks he's incredibly drunk when he ends up going home with you.

"Babe, are you listening?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I was too busy staring at your pretty face"

"Ugh, fucking cheeseball"

You laughed and smacked his shoulder. Ever since the kiss, the two of you hit it off. Suna wouldn't have expected to be with you, but he's over the moon. Romance wasn't his strongest suit yet you made him feel like it is. He has never wanted to kiss someone so bad every day in his life. Never he has experienced being so head over heels for someone that it's ridiculous.

Everything felt so right. But Suna begins to think it's a lie. He's convinced that he doesn't deserve to be with you after everything. You and him weren't a perfect couple, you would have arguments that would start from something so minuscule into fully serious. Suna would find himself intentionally hurting you with his venomous insults, but you were strong and unwavering. It would be a while until Suna's self-sabotage brings out the worst of him.

He has hurt you, this time he did. He fucked up bad when he sees your wide eyes as tears gradually built up. But this time, he doesn't apologize, he lets you walk out the door and think it's over. He ends up alone in his room quietly crying to himself, gazing at his pathetic reflection on his mirror. On the least of his expectations, you return.

"Rintaro?"

Suna loved the way you called his name but he doesn't face you. He's filled with shame and guilt and you coming back to him after the shit he told you was a testament that he truly doesn't deserve you.

"Why the fuck are you here?"

"Please, let's talk, Rin"

"I don't wanna"

"Please, I want to fix this. I don't this to end"

You see the way Suna's lip wobbles. You carefully walked over to him and hugged him from behind, sharing your warmth with him. Suna blinks away the tears as he leans against your touch.

"I don't deserve you, [Name]"

"Rintaro..."

"I'm nothing but a stupid fucking asshole"

"Rin, you're not"

"For fuck's sake [Name]! I made you cry!"

"I know you don't mean it, Rin"

You nuzzled your face against his neck. Suna sighs, it was hard trying to resist you.

"I'm sorry, [Name]..."

"It's okay, babe"

"I...Are you sure you don't want to break up with me?"

"Yeah, want me to prove it to you?"

You said. Suna raised a brow, unsure of what you meant until he felt your hands tugging on the hems of his pants. In a span of a minute, he's moaning in front of his bedroom mirror with his cock out and your hands around it. You carefully pumped his length, purposely edging him.

"[Name], ah! Shit!"

Suna hissed. He hears you chuckle from behind. You planted butterfly kisses from his shoulder up to his neck.

"[Name], fuck"

Your boyfriend moans. You slowly begin to jerk him off faster, he throws his head back and whines.

"Rintaro, I love you so much. I love every part of you"

"I love your cheezy jokes, your sweet smile, and even your big and mean face"

"I love your eyes, your hair, your face, your lips, and especially your cock"

Suna groans, his face heats up from the compliment. Gently, your hands went to cup his balls and he drools like a fool drunk on lust.

"Hnngh, [Name]"

"I will love you forever for who you are, even with all the bad parts"

"[Name]"

He calls out for you in desperation, desperate for his sweet release. As your hand trailed back to his cock, you started to pump him swiftly. Suna's hips bucked forward as he watched himself lose to the pleasure in front of the mirror. His hair was sweaty and messy, the precum dripping down on his length was nasty, as his moans grew breathy.

"Are you gonna cum, Rin?"

"Ooooh yes! Fuck yes!"

"Come on baby, let go. I'm all yours"

You softly told him as his eyes rolled back. Suna convulsed as he cums around your warm hand. His cum shoots out everywhere, on his abdomen, your hand, and even his pants. Suna felt like he died and went back to life. His chest rises and falls as he meets your sweet eyes through the mirror.

"Holy shit"

"Are you okay, Rintaro?"

"More than okay, babe. That was fucking hot"

You laughed. Suna pounces on you to kiss you, he towers over you on his bed as he starts whispering 'I love you' to you with every kiss. Everything was all sweet and romantic until you can feel his cock hardening as it rubbed against your leg. You gulped as Suna sent you a devilish smile.

— ♬ Tsukishima Kei

Tsukishima Kei had no room for romance in his life. He only poured his focus on his work and volleyball. He occasionally hung out with his friends so he wasn't some miserable and workaholic man. He thinks the universe loves shitting on him when he was constantly surrounded by couples wherever he went. On the way to his work, in the museum, at the grocery store, and even scrolling on the internet. The persistent image of lovestruck couples irritated him to no end, especially when one of his friends recently came out that they became an official couple (thank god one of them went back to Brazil and the other migrated to Italy).

Tsukishima was waiting for all of this bullshit to die down until he was reunited with you. Great, just what he fucking needed. It was a dark secret that he had a fat crush on you back in high school, you were his senior then. You were popular because people were drawn to your beauty, kindness, and alluring personality. Tsukishima felt ashamed for falling victim to your charms. Admittedly, he tried to subtly pursue you then but ultimately stopped after you graduated high school and went to university. And here he thinks he's over you.

"Oh my god, Kei is that you?"

Shit. You have spotted him at the museum. He awkwardly stands there and lets you run to him with that big smile of yours.

"It's been so long!"

"...It has"

"I didn't know you worked here! How have you been?"

You and Tsukishima briefly caught up with each other's lives. It was true you and him go way back and were close, and it still feels like it to this day. Tsukishima hates to admit how he missed talking to you. Something about your genuine demeanor pulls him back to you.

"Do you want to go grab drinks later?"

Say no

"Sure, I'm free after my shift"

Oh you fucking idiot

"Great! Let's meet at the bar nearby!"

His heart skips a beat when he sees that beautiful bright smile on your face. It kept appearing in his mind as he continued on his day. Tsukishima grew impatient as he constantly glanced at his watch, wishing that time would go by faster. After his shift at the museum, he rushes to the bar and finds you waiting for him there.

The two of you ate and drank beer, swapping stories and sharing jokes. Being here with you reignited his attraction to you. Tsukishima couldn't help but notice everything about you. Your hair, your clothes, the smell of your perfume, god, he felt like a creep. It was getting late and both of you got fairly tipsy. You finished your cup of beer when you smiled at him with flushed cheeks.

"You know, I used to have a crush on you back then"

You admitted. Tsukishima nearly choked on his beer as he gazes at you wide-eyed and his glasses tilted.

"...Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, you were handsome and not to mention a smartass, I'm pretty sure everyone had a crush on you"

You shrugged. Tsukishima ignores the way his heart skipped a beat, he swallows nervously and looks at you.

"Didn't think you'd genuinely have a crush on me, I thought you think I'm an asshole"

"Well you are, a handsome asshole"

You chuckled and looked at him in the eye. Tsukishima knew this was his moment, to tell you how he's been in love with you for a long time. He sucks in a breath.

"You know, I know someone who's got a big fat crush on you for a long time..."

"Oh? Who?"

"You know him and he's an idiot"

"Hmm, is it your best friend Yamaguchi?"

"No"

"How about your other friends Kageyama and Hinata?"

"Nah, those two just became a couple"

"Oh, congratulations to them! Who could it be?"

He waited for you to guess right but it never came, much to his heart's disappointment.

"Are you lying to me, Kei?"

"No...ugh, I give up"

"What? Just tell me who it is!"

"It's me, you dumbass!"

You went silent and it made Tsukishima's stomach drop. The look of shock on your face scared him. How will you react? He has no clue what will it be. And then you laughed.

"Oh my god, are you serious?"

"Yeah..."

"And here I thought my feelings would never be reciprocated"

"Huh?"

Tsukishima looked at you dumbfounded. You sighed and reached to touch his hand across the table.

"I've been in love with you too for a long time, you dingus"

Suddenly, Tsukishima has room for his romantic life with you. Before he realizes it, he's just like those disgusting couples he gets surrounded by everywhere he goes. It felt so surreal to hold your hand while you two walked down the street. It seemed so unreal when you shared a kiss under the moonlight. He believed he lived in a dream when you told him you loved him. Because the truth is, Tsukishima thinks he doesn't deserve it.

The reason why he didn't have room for romance is because he's convinced he's unlovable. That on the surface is just a smart guy with a massive height, athletic abilities, and a smug attitude, and beyond that, he's nothing special. Tsukishima knows he's an absolute jerk who doesn't back down on rebuttals and insults. He's got a sharp tongue and an intelligent mouth. Why would someone love a guy like him?

Tsukishima distances himself from you since he formed those insecure thoughts. He gradually drifts away from you to the point that he refuses to meet up with you. He tries to return to his life before. Maybe you'll take the hint and replace him with someone better, someone who's significantly kinder than him, someone who's lovable.

There's a sudden bang on his apartment door. He groans and drags his feet to the door, when he opens it, he sees your enraged face.

"Why the hell are you not answering my calls and messages?!"

You shouted at him. Tsukishima takes a step back, surprised by your sudden appearance. You jabbed a finger at his chest.

"I've been worried sick about you! I thought something bad happened to my boyfriend!"

"Stop yelling, you're disturbing the neighbors"

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on!"

You placed your hands on your hips and glared at him. Tsukishima holds back a groan and runs a hand down his face, he shuts the door behind you as he tries to lie about everything he's been through.

"I was sick and I didn't want to disturb you"

"You could've sent me a quick text then I would've understood. Ghosting me all of a sudden is so immature of you"

"I understand, I'm sorry"

You exhaled as you both sat on his bed, you crawled behind him to give him a loving embrace. Tsukishima could feel his heart racing at the tender act.

"I want to know if something's bothering you, Kei. I want you to be honest with me please"

You said quietly. Guilt floods his heart as Tsukishima debates whether to admit the truth. He didn't want to make you feel bad so he decided to be a man and tell you everything. He expected you to make fun of him or look at him differently but instead, you accepted him with open arms.

"Kei, baby, you're not unlovable"

"Oh please [Name], I'm a fucking jerk"

"And that's why I love you"

"Can you stop lying, [Name]?"

"I'm not lying!"

You huffed from behind him, glaring at him through the mirror before his bed. You wanted to knock some sense out of your giant boyfriend and show him how lovable he was. Tsukishima sees you smiling through the mirror as your hands grab the zipper of his pants.

"Oi [Name]! What the hell are you doing?!"

Tsukishima wants to deny it. To deny how fucking good it felt when your hand wrapped around his cock. He goes hard immediately when you stroke him a few times. You bite your lip as you played with his slit, earning a groan from him.

"[Name], ah fuck!"

You went to grab his ballsack and massage it. The pleasure erupts all over his body. When he stares forward, he sees his wrecked expression in the mirror. His blonde hair was disheveled, his glasses sliding down his nose bridge, and his pants sliding down his thighs to his ankles.

"Look at yourself Kei, god you look so fucking hot"

"Shit! Oh fuck, [Name]"

Tsukishima lets out a breathless moan. When your hand returns to his dick as you start to pump him at a fast pace, he opens his mouth and lets out a high-pitched moan.

"Oh, you like that, babe?"

"[Name], please"

"I need you to stop thinking you're unlovable because you are not"

Your pace slows down. Tsukishima meets your gaze in the mirror with your hand softly stroking his cock, his face goes red.

"Kei, I know you're handsome and smart but you're considerate too"

"You're not some heartless jerk, I see how you show that you care"

"You make efforts for me, you make me happy and it pains me to know you think you're not special because you are to me"

Your pace around his length quickens and he gasps, taking in your words and accepting them in his heart.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Kei. My sweet, smart, and hot boyfriend"

"Shit, [Name]! I'm going to cum!"

"Cum for me Kei"

You commanded and he met his orgasm in a shocking wave. The electrifying pleasure shoots all over his body that he momentarily loses his breath while his cum coats your hand. As the high subsides, Tsukishima blinks at you through the mirror.

"Don't you feel better now, Kei?"

You sweetly asked and suddenly he grew shy, avoiding your eyes with a tinge of pink on his cheeks. For a huge man, he sure is adorable. You giggled and kissed him on the cheek, and the blonde sighed.

"Thank you, [Name]"

"Aw, you're welcome baby"

"How about I return the favor, I want you to be good and take your clothes off now"

It was your turn to blush as you stuttered, Tsukishima looked at you with his eyes clouded with desire. You knew better so you obeyed him and got naked as he sweetly returned the favor.

©kitasgloves (do not steal or copy)

[lurkingshan]

10 Things I Love About Triage

I am extraordinarily late to this party but I am here to scream about Triage, a show which I started on a whim after a stray comment from @incandescentflower and subsequently finished in two sittings. This drama has been on my list forever (I didn't watch it live because the distribution was wacky) and then it just kept getting overlooked as I fought to keep up with the deluge of Thai BL coming at us at all times. But I am very glad I finally hunted it down and made the time and I would like to tell you why!

Hello Again, Dr. Sammon

I am on record as a Sammon fan. She is one of the best writers working in Thai BL and she has a knack for mystery and suspense. Her narratives are always really well constructed with tight plotting and smart character work, and Triage is no exception. This story feels confident, steady, and complete in a way few Thai BLs do.

The time travel rules are blessedly consistent

Part of what makes the story sing is it's a time travel plot that actually gets the particulars right. In a time loop, the details are everything, and this show understands that. The series of events are consistent, the rules of the time travel mechanics are clearly explained, and when our protagonists learn something new, it always lines up with something we'd gotten hints about before or gives us new context for old information. There are no loose threads in this show.

My boy Tin is going through it

Tin is a fantastic protagonist. He starts the show disillusioned with his work and hilariously grumpy about this time loop situation--he is a busy ER doctor and he does not have time for this--but as he starts to piece together how the loop works he gets more methodical in his approach, and eventually becomes emotionally invested in his mission to save Tol. Tin felt really well-calibrated in that he was smart and he tried all the things you would be shouting at the screen for him to try, but he's still a human being with flaws and insecurities and so he makes mistakes, learns, and has to try again. The show really successfully put us in the frustration with him.

Tol makes for an interesting damsel

Because he's kind of an asshole! Tol is rude and disrespectful when he first meets Tin, he hangs around with some truly awful bullies, he treats Rit like garbage, and he's all around an arrogant dick. Until he isn't. I like the choice to make the focus of our mission such a difficult character, not only because it makes Tin's challenge that much harder, but also because it invites us to consider the reasons why someone might be behaving the way he is and whether they can be redeemed.

This show has everything: action, romance, and agony

It's truly an emotional rollercoaster all the way through, and you can't relax for a moment. The pacing is relentless through most of the show, and even as a bond develops between Tin and Tol and they begin a tentative romance, danger is lurking around every corner. As soon as these boys started making out in episode 9 I knew something awful was coming for me and IT SURE DID.

Jinta, the ultimate frenemy

On that note let's talk about Jinta, my nemesis!! Jinta is some kind of unspecified deity/whimsical god and the one who appears to be responsible for putting Tin and Tol in this loop. Is he trying to help them? Is he trying to torture them? I definitely think it's both! He seems to delight in showing up to taunt Tin as he struggles to figure out how to get through to Tol, and when it's Tol's turn on the merry-go-round he sends him to the darkest timeline for his high stakes final attempt to save Tin just because he can. I love/hate you, sir!

Sing and Gap and the darkest timeline

Speaking of which, can we talk about how appropriate it is that Sing and Gap are a couple only in the darkest timeline? I don't know if people were shipping this for real during the live watch, but I definitely was not and so I started cackling when we got to the worst possible timeline and Sing was suddenly calling Gap his boyfriend. Sammon, you are hilarious and I salute you.

Fantastic side characters

Let's talk about the sides I did love. First of all, aside from his weird aggressive flirting/not flirting thing with Gap, I actually did like Sing's friendship with Tin a lot. I also loved the hospital gang who were around to alternately tease and help Tin, most especially Toy and Fang. Toy is a sweetheart and a gossip who never misses a trick, and Fang is an actual badass who first cracked the case with that evil doctor and saved Tin's life. They are fabulous. Rit was also an excellent character with a lot of complexity and he added some much needed depth to the school storyline (does anyone else think he was basically the proto-DFF Non?). And while Mai and Heart were not my favorite people, I did appreciate that the show gave them a sympathetic portrayal instead of making them evil villains (we had the organ harvesters for that).

That beautiful clocktower

I must give a shoutout to this gorgeous clocktower featured in several important scenes. I got so excited every time it showed up. Fun fact: in the first clocktower scene I was like oh hey I recognize that from gifs, but it can't be that scene because it's too early for a kis--TIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING! (I was right, it was too early for a kiss and Tol was Big Mad but bless you for going for it anyway, Tin).

The romance is balanced and rootable

And on that note, let me give a shoutout to the romance part of this story for actually feeling balanced. This is not an epic swoony love affair, but more a story of two people putting in the time to understand and empathize with each other. Sometimes in these kind of time loop stories the romance can end up feeling very one-sided because one character is holding all the knowledge and all the cards. But in this show we have the neat trick of Tol taking over the loop to try to save Tin in the final arc, which means he got to go through a similar process of getting to know the darkest version of his lover and figuring out how to get through to him. I was delighted by all the events of the long loop playing out again, but this time with Tin being the obstinate one. Tol got a taste of his own medicine and it left me feeling like they were both equally invested in this relationship.

TL;DR: If you haven't watched this yet, you really should! It's a fast binge and a great time with some Thai BL favorites. It's unfortunately still not available for international streaming, but it's very easy to find grey now and it's worth the effort. Go forth!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he’s hypersexual?

nsft/nsfw warning - mentions of sex, manipulation, etc.

🦷

(to find later)

I (19m) just broke up with my boyfriend (18m) of over one and a half years last night.

For context, I’m demisexual and he’s known this from the very beginning. Plus, I’m a transgender guy and when we first got together I was at the very start of my transition and still extremely uncomfortable with my body. So, sex was just kind of out of the question, and I made that very clear.

Nonetheless, whenever we cuddled he still got all touchy, kissed my neck and begged me to take my clothes off, etc. Whenever I protested, he got all whiny and did that weird puppy eyes thing. He usually gave up after a while and apologized, but it always left me feeling guilty and like I was depriving him of something.

After a while, he told me he’s hypersexual and he’s sorry if he gets a little "too much" sometimes. But he reassured me that he loves me and even if we never get intimate, he wants to be with me. I believed him.

Still, his behavior continued and after a while I just gave in and took my clothes off for him, let him kiss me… you get it. When I put my shirt back on I asked if he was happy now and he got all upset. He was pouting and told me that he never forced me to do anything and he wants me to enjoy these things too. It’s true, he never forced me to do anything but he always got all touchy feely and it made me feel like I had to give him something.

As the relationship progressed, I just resorted to giving him oral to satisfy him but he always insisted on returning the favor. The thing is, I was his first relationship and he didn’t have much experience. So, whenever he tried anything, I barely felt anything. Even with tons of communication and showing him how to do things. It just left me feeling gross and unsatisfied.

At some point, I decided I had to let him do the full thing. (stupid, I know, but I’m an insecure 19 year old) So, we did it and I hated it. It felt uncomfortable and he didn’t even try to give me any sort of pleasure, he just ran off to take a shower after he finished. I cried in his bed that night but never told him about it. I just pretended to be okay and to like this stuff.

When I told him I wanted to get top surgery, he begged me not to get it or to get the keyhole procedure so I don’t lose feeling in my nipples. Because it’s the only way he’s ever been able to give me pleasure. I don’t really wanna spell it out, but yeah.

When I told him that being shirtless during the nasty made me wanna cry, he told me that he never asked me to take my shirt or binder off. I just did it. But the thing is, I did it because he liked it. Never once did he apologize or comfort me. It just made me feel disgusting and extremely dysphoric.

He always blamed all his behavior on being hypersexual and not being able to control himself when I’m so cute. Or whatever…

So, I made up my mind to break up with him. The thing is, I know all of this makes him sound horrible. But he was genuinely a good boyfriend and I love him a lot. So, I feel like shit for breaking up with him just because he’s hypersexual. I tried to talk to him about it and find a solution, but he never changed despite promising to do so. I don’t really see what else I could’ve done.

Am I the asshole for this? I’d appreciate it if other hypersexual people could give me their opinions on this! Because I don’t want to believe that this is how hypersexual people usually act.

What are these acronyms?

[heavenlyhischier]

𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐰 | 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐇𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬

word count: 5.5k

summary: jack lets his frustrations get the better of him and says some things to you that leave you questioning everything.

warnings: angst (mostly), cursing, drinking, brief asshole!jack, if you see any editing mistakes lmk because i dont have any one beta read lmao

The quiet hum of the tv seeped into the kitchen as you put the dishes away, careful to not drop any of the fancy glassware you and Jack had used the night before. He had surprised you with a romantic dinner after your exhausting week at work, and you nearly burst into tears when you walked into his apartment last night. You had gone over to his place expecting to just fall asleep on his couch as he watched tv, but of course he had something even better, and so special, planned for the woman he loved.

You had met Jack a year and a half ago at the coffee shop that was not only right by your job, but also his apartment. The two of you had seen each other in passing several times before you actually found the confidence to approach him one day and ask him for his number. Even with Jack’s insane and tight schedule, he managed to make as much time for you as he could, and you were grateful for that. Outside of one person from work, Jack was really the only friend you had managed to make since you had moved to Jersey, and you were over the moon when you felt it shift onto a more romantic path.

Despite not living with him, you often found yourself alone in his apartment as you waited for him to come home from practice. You would offer to go back to your own place every time, but he insisted that you stay because seeing you was something that always made him feel better. At least, you thought it did.

“Hey, baby,” You called out as you heard the door shut behind you. Sitting up to drape your arm over the back of the couch, you look at him and frown. His brows were pulled together and his face had frustration written all over it, “You okay?”

“Fine,” He grumbled, roughly kicking his shoes off and slamming his keys on the entry table.

“Are you sure,” You asked, worry clearly evident in your voice. You knew how Jack could get when he was frustrated, and you wanted him to talk about it instead of bottling it up. You just wanted to help.

“I said I was fine,” He snapped, spitting out your name as if it was the most vile word he’s ever spoken. 

“I’m sorry,” You weakly apologized, tears instantly brimming your eyes at his harsh tone, “I was just asking.”

“Trust me, I know. All you do is ask questions! You never fucking stop asking questions, so can you just stop talking for one god damn minute and let me breathe,” He yelled, face beet red and body taught as he hurled his nasty words at you, “Sometimes I wish you’d just leave me alone.”

Jack stormed away from the living room, footsteps echoing across his empty halls until the sound of his bedroom door slamming shut ripped through the entire apartment. In the year you’ve been dating, Jack has never, not once, spoken to you like that. Of course, you've had arguments before and sometimes the two of you would yell at the other in frustration, but this was something entirely different. This time, he threw some of your biggest relationship insecurities in your face, and now you were doubting everything you thought you knew.

Tears flowed down your cheeks as you let you out quiet sobs, your heart beating so loudly that it was all you could hear through the ringing in your ears. Your throat was dry as you tried to choke in as much air as you could, but it felt as if someone was wrapping their hands around your neck. Your hands grasped at the couch as you planted your feet on the floor, trying to ground and compose yourself. You were glancing around the room as if you were searching for something, anything, that was going to tell you that this was all a joke, and he wasn’t being serious. Yet, all you were met with was the ghost of Jack’s anger lingering at the door.

Wiping at your tear stained cheeks, you pushed yourself off the couch and neatly folded the blanket you had been using to cover your legs. You could hear the faint sound of a shower running, and a part of you wanted to follow the sound and join him, but all you could think about was what he had said to you. Does he really wish you’d just leave him alone? Had you been too overbearing? It’s what your last boyfriend had said about you right before he broke up with you, so maybe Jack was being honest.

The world spun around you as you walked towards the door, sliding your shoes on and grabbing your bag as quiet hiccups slipped through your lips. The pain bleeding from your chest made it difficult to breathe, and the knots twisting in your stomach were making you nauseous. Still, you pushed yourself to walk out of the door and dial the one of the few friends you had outside of Jack.

“Ryleigh?”

“I’m going to kill him,” Were the words that came out of Ryleigh’s mouth as soon as she pulled her door open and saw you standing there with red puffy cheeks and bloodshot eyes. 

She pulled you into her chest, wrapping her arms around you as sobs, once again, shook your entire body. Your keys and phone fell to the floor as you clung to the woman in front of you, her hands rubbing soothing circles on your back as she carefully guided you to her couch. The New Jersey air was frigid, and all you had been wearing was a thin sweater and shorts, so Ryleigh bundled you up as best as she could while she comforted you. She didn’t even have to ask you what had happened before you began recounting the events that had only just occurred.

“Am I too much,” You cried as you focused on steadying your breathing.

“Of course not, honey,” She consoled, eyes darting to where you were assuming Dawson had been standing. You had heard him coming when you started telling Ryleigh what happened, but he had yet to make his presence known. “He was just having a bad day, and while that doesn’t excuse his terrible behavior, it does mean that you did nothing wrong. He just doesn’t know how to control his anger and that isn’t your fault.”

You weakly nodded, the sounds of Dawson’s feet padding across his floor cutting through the tension around you. You glanced over at him as he stopped in front of the door, bending over to pick up your phone that had been vibrating against the wooden floor. His face slightly hardened when he read the name on your phone, and you felt your stomach drop.

“It’s Jack,” He flipped the screen towards you, “Want me to answer it?”

“Tell him I don’t want to see him right now,” Was all you were able to get out before you felt the air catching in your throat again.

“No, it’s Dawson. She’s at my place with Ryleigh, but she said she doesn’t want to see you. Because you were a fucking dick to her, Jack. No, shut up and listen to me. I get you’re frustrated right now, but you never take that out on your significant other. Especially not the way you did. You take that shit out on the ice during games or even practice, but you never take it out on her.

“She’ll talk to you when she’s ready, and you better not try and come over here because I won’t stop Ryleigh from hitting you. Now, you better come up with a damn good apology and I will see you at practice.”

Ryleigh held you as you listened to her boyfriend talk to the one man you’d thought never hurt you the way that he did. Doubts clouded your thoughts as you began to let yourself wonder if Jack even wanted to be with you anymore; if he even wanted to be in the first place. He knew better than anyone that the way your previous boyfriend had left you completely shattered you, and for him to insinuate that he felt the same was enough to leave you questioning everything.

You had decided to go back to your own apartment the following morning after Dawson let you crash at his place despite Ryleigh’s insistence to stay there. With the promise to call her if you needed her or anything and one last bone crushing hug from both members of the couple, you headed to your own home. Dawson had turned your phone off after his phone call with your boyfriend, and you had yet to turn it back on because you feared what would greet you once you had. Maybe Jack went against his teammates request and sent you messages and left you voicemails. Or maybe he had listened and hadn’t tried to contact you at all. You’re not sure what you’d prefer at the moment.

Pushing the door to your apartment, you were half hoping to see Jack already in there waiting for you since he had a key, but you were met with an empty, half-cleaned apartment. You briefly paused in your doorway, eyes welling with tears as you let yourself remember everything that happened. Hanging your keys up on its rightful hook and slipping your shoes off, you beelined to your bathroom to take a shower. You felt dirty and thought that maybe a shower would help calm you down, and it did. Until you finally turned your phone back on.

17 missed call from Jack <3 

34 unread messages from Jack <3

Your breathing faltered, finger hovering over the notifications as you debated on whether or not to read his texts or not. Ryleigh had made sure to reiterate that just because he tries to apologize to you, doesn’t mean you have to forgive him unless you’re ready to. Clicking on his texts, you skimmed over them and grew angry as you realized the majority of them were just half-assed excuses and only three of them held any sort of apology. Despite the seething fury coursing through your veins, you decided to be mature in your response.

To: Jack<3

I’m not ready to talk to you. You threw some of my biggest insecurities in my face because you were mad, and that’s not ever going to be okay. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to discuss this with you. Good luck at your game tomorrow.

His response was almost instant.

From: Jack<3

I know it wasn’t okay, baby. I’m sorry. I know that there’s no excuse for what I said. I’m stressed out and I took that out on you. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.

Are you not going to come to the game?

To: Jack<3

I don’t think I’m going to be up for it, but we’ll see.

Even before you and Jack had officially started dating, you’d never missed one of his home games. You had always been there sitting wherever he could get you a seat, cheering the team on no matter how they were performing. Jack was convinced your presence made him play better, so you had vowed to make an appearance at as many games as you could, but you weren’t sure you wanted to be there for him tomorrow night. 

The rest of the day, Jack hadn't texted you after his last response, and a part of you was grateful. It gave you time to think everything over and gather your own thoughts on the whole situation. Of course you didn’t want to break up with him, but you also didn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who felt like your affection was overbearing. After your last boyfriend, you promised yourself that you would have more self respect than that.

You decided to not attend the game the following night, but you did text Jack wishing him a good game and that you would still be cheering him on. He didn’t respond, so you weren’t sure if he had time to read it or not. Ryleigh and Brooke had both texted you asking where you were, and then asked if you would be up to going out after the game. Actually, Ryleigh didn’t give you a choice in the matter. She told you that her, Brooke, and a few of the other girls would be by as soon as the game was over to pick you up.

Knowing that with the combination of both Ryleigh and Brooke there would be no use in arguing, you started to get ready whenever you knew the third period was just over halfway finished. You hadn’t asked the girls if the guys were going to be wherever you ended up, and truthfully, you didn’t want to know. To you, knowing that Jack would be there is a great contrast to hopefully assuming he won’t be.

The bar was buzzing with life as soon as the four of you arrived, pushing through the sweaty bodies to get to the areas of booths you normally sat in. Kristyna ordered everyone a round of shots before falling into conversation with the rest of you. Your nerves slowly dissipated as you let yourself enjoy the moment instead of focusing on the state of your relationship. Laughter filled the booth as Brooke retold a story you’d heard a dozen times before, but it was still as funny as it was the first time you’d heard it. Loud cheers erupted at the front of the bar, and you couldn’t help but let your gaze flit towards the commotion. Your heart fell to your stomach when you saw Jack trailing behind his teammates as they politely greeted their fans.

“Shit,” Ryleigh mumbled, gently grabbing your hand, “Dawson said he wasn’t coming, I'm so sorry.”

Tearing your eyes away from the man you loved more than anything, you met her sympathetic stare and gave her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, Ry. I can’t avoid him forever.” 

Jack found you as soon as he’d walked in the door; he always did no matter where you were. He watched as your hand shyly covered your mouth as you laughed, a habit of yours he was doing his best to break. You hated the way you looked when you let yourself genuinely laugh, but to Jack? He thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world and it was a crime for you to hide your beauty. He was startled back to reality when someone clapped him on the back, congratulating him on the team's win tonight.

Your heart beat loudly in your best as you chewed on your bottom lip, waiting for the boys to reach the booth. There was an open spot next to you, and you knew that Jack was going to take that spot even if he had to move someone to do so. You were doing your best to not let yourself glance in their direction, choosing to focus on the loose thread at the bottom of your dress instead as you tried to gather your nerves. It wasn’t until you felt the dip in the leather next to you that you knew there was no containing the anxiety budding inside you. 

“Hi,” Jack’s voice was hesitant and nervous, his hand instinctively reaching for your own, but it quickly retreated back to his side. He didn’t want to push any boundaries you had laid out. 

“Hi,” You breathed out, letting yourself meet his gaze. You were hyper aware of the several pairs of eyes that kept glancing at the two of you, but you were opting to ignore them for now. You were only focusing on him.

He had guilt swimming in his eyes, and you wanted nothing more than to pull him into you so that you could feel his warm embrace again. Every nerve in your body ached for him, but the sensible part of you couldn’t let yourself give in that easily. If he wanted you to forgive him, he was going to have to work for it. 

“How are you,” He asked, eyes dragging along your scantily clothed body.

“Uh I- I’m okay. Been better,” You inwardly cringed at how awkward it was between the two of you. Things weren’t even this weird the first time you went out with him. 

“Me too. Played like absolute shit tonight,” He darkly chuckled, turning his gaze to the ground in front of him as his jaw clenched.

“Jack,” You sighed as you placed a gentle hand on his bicep. His head snapped back towards you, eyes wide with surprise at the physical gesture, “It’s just one game. It doesn’t change anything. Besides, you guys still won.”

He swallowed thickly, eyes unwavering from your own as he managed a simple nod in response. You didn’t miss the way his focus flicked down to your lips, but you chose to act as if it never happened and avert your attention back to the group in front of you. You slid your hand down the length of his arm, taking his hand in your own as a way to comfort not only him, but yourself. Despite everything, his touch still brought you a sense of ease, and in a place full of people, you needed all you could get. 

After a couple hours of laughter, playful arguing, and copious amounts of alcohol consumed by your friends, Jack could tell that you were beginning to get tired. While you decided to not join in on some rounds of the shots, you had still drank enough to make your cheeks warm and eyes glossy. Your eyes were slowly drooping, your head lolling onto the back of the booth as your focus on the group began to dwindle.

“Hey,” He delicately squeezed the exposed skin on your thigh, “You getting tired?”

You opened your eyes just enough to see him through your lashes, letting out a quiet hum and a small nod. He couldn’t help but stop to admire the way you looked. Your hair was splayed across the leather behind you, your lips parted as you let shaky breaths pass through them, and your bottom lip swollen and red from your teeth biting at it. 

“Do you, um- Do you want me to take you home,” He nervously asked, not sure if you would want to be around him when it was just the two of you. He’s still painfully aware of the hurt he’s caused you, and he hasn't had the chance to make it right yet.

“Please,” You mumbled, forcing a small smile on your face as you tossed him another lazy look.

Slightly leaning forward, he placed a tender kiss on your forehead before telling you he was going to let Ryleigh know he was taking you home. Jack knew the woman wasn’t his biggest fan at the moment, but he also knew that if he didn’t tell her that you were leaving, that he would never hear the end of it. Ryleigh, and Brooke, had said some choice words to the man in front of her, but ultimately chose to let him go with the promise that he would text her when you were home safely.

Your eyes were closed when Jack returned back to you, your shoulders slowly rising and falling with each passing breath. He shook his head in amusement before gently shaking your body, trying to wake you without startling you too much. You stirred just enough to peek at him through the small slit in your eye, and he had that dumb, endearing smile on his face that made you playfully roll your eyes at him. 

You held onto his arm as he led you out of the bar and out to his car, letting him help you into the passenger seat. Nerves were burning through your skin, the realization that you would be alone with him for the first time since the incident slowly settling in as he walked around the front of the car. The alcohol still circulating through your system is the only reason you’re not full blown panicking. Though even then, your mind was running with anxious thoughts.

The drive was silent, only the quiet melody of the radio filling the empty space as Jack drove to your apartment. He knew that taking you back to his own was likely to make you panic, and he didn’t want you to feel like he was cornering you. You were quiet, doing your best to keep your eyes open as you watched the New Jersey nightlife pass by through the window.

Jack pulled into the parking garage, his car finding the spot that he claims as his own whenever he ended up at your place. You barely had time to unbuckle your seatbelt by the time he was opening the door, hand extended towards you to help you out of the car. You swallowed the lump in your throat and took his hand, stepping out of the car and into the empty garage.

As Jack led you up to your apartment, all he could think about was the look on your face when he yelled at you. It was a look of complete, and utter hurt that was still lingering every time you looked at him. The ache that he felt when he realized the true nature of his actions was so excruciatingly painful that he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Jack had promised you, and himself, that he would never hurt you the way you had been hurt before, and he had broken that promise.

You were so tired that you were half asleep by the time that Jack was pushing into your apartment, making sure to lock it behind him. He guided you into the bathroom, helping you take your makeup off before retreating to your bedroom to find you a t-shirt to sleep in. When he pulled the middle dresser drawer open, he couldn’t stop the guilt from spreading in his chest when he saw more of his shirts than of your own.

Knocking gently on the bathroom door, he cracked it open and passed the shirt through the slit. He’s seen you naked more times than he could count, but he was still aware enough to know that you more than likely didn’t want his help. When you were changed, you slowly opened the door and followed Jack to your bedroom.

Your heart was racing a mile a minute, nerves winding through your veins the longer the two of you went without addressing the massive elephant in the room. The longer he went without saying anything about it, the more your insecurities began to weave their way in and thoughts of the worst possibilities filled your mind. However, it became clear that he wasn’t going to say anything when he had turned to leave your room once you were settled in your bed.

“Jack,” You hastily called out, reaching for his arm before he could walk out of your room, “Do you not love me anymore?”

Your voice was so weak and small, cracking as you asked Jack a question that tore his heart out of his chest. He thought he was hurting before, but that feeling was nothing compared to the feeling that was now sinking in his stomach. The worst part is, he knows that he did it to himself. He’s the cause of his own heartache because he’s the one that hurt you. He is the one that burned your relationship to the ground.

The silence that hung in the air made you want to throw up and tears prick the corners of your eyes as you assumed the worst. That Jack was trying to find a way to tell you that no, he didn’t love you anymore. You were silently cursing yourself for even asking the question knowing that you might not have wanted the answer. Yet, the alcohol that was still swimming through your veins gave you courage that you didn’t ask for. 

You dropped his arm and pulled your blanket over your face, trying to put some sort of wall between you and Jack as he stood there. You didn’t want him to see the way his silence affected you, tears spilling down your cheeks and lips wobbling as you tried to stay quiet. 

The mattress dipped beside you, Jack’s hand carefully searching for the end of the blanket in the darkness of your room. Your heart raced in both anticipation and panic, not knowing what exactly was going to happen with your relationship. His hand finally gripped the blanket to pull it off your face, and you immediately squeezed your eyes closed. You didn’t want to see his face when he told you he didn’t want you anymore.

“Hey,” He whispered, hand hovering over your cheek, not sure if touching you would be okay, “Look at me, baby.”

Keeping your eyes screwed shut, you shook your head as you blindly tried to take the blanket back from him, but his grip was firm. You gave up on trying to win the blanket back and rolled onto your side, burying your face into the mattress. You wished he would just get it over with; that he would just tell you that he was leaving you so that you could grieve in peace. 

“I do love you,” His voice shook as if he was trying to keep himself from crying, “I love you more than I ever thought I could ever love anyone, and I am so sorry that I hurt you. Nothing can ever take back what I said to you, but it wasn’t true. Not even close.”

A mangled, choked back sob slipped through your lips because, even though he told you he loves you, you didn’t believe a word that came out of his mouth. No matter how badly you had wanted to hear him finally tell you that he didn’t mean what he said, you still didn’t believe him. 

“Baby, please,” He pleaded, every nerve in his body yearning to pull you close to him, “Please look at me.”

“I can’t,” You cried, clutching at the sheet to keep yourself from turning towards him.

“Why,” His voice was thick with emotion, his leg nervously bouncing up and down as he dug his fingernails into his palms.

“Because I don’t believe you.”

You had begged Jack to leave your room after that, your chest aching so much that it felt as if it was going to cave in on itself. Your emotions were running amuck, seemingly out of your control as you let out gut wrenching sobs. You hated that you didn’t believe him because you so badly wanted to. Your heart was screaming at you to believe him, but your tainted brain was telling you it was a bad idea.

The next morning, you woke up with a dull ache in your head just behind your eyes. The memories of what happened last night on replay in your head. You were running through it all over again, thoughts of what you should have done making you nauseous. You regretted pushing Jack away so easily, but you credited the alcohol you had consumed that night for clouding your judgment. If you had been more in control of your emotions, you’re certain that the conversation would have gone much differently. 

Slipping out of your bed, you rubbed at your tired eyes and walked into your living room. You halted in the doorway when you saw Jack, still in his clothes from last night, sprawled out across the couch. While you had hoped that he was still here, you didn’t actually expect him to be. 

Quietly approaching the sleeping boy, you couldn’t help but take a moment to admire his peaceful features. His lips were slightly parted as he let out quiet snores, a habit you had grown to find quite endearing. His cheeks were slightly swollen, presumably from crying, and you’re positive yours look the same, if not much worse.

“Jack,” You gently spoke, shaking his shoulders in an attempt to wake him, “Jack, wake up.”

He abruptly sprang off the couch, head knocking into yours. You let out a string of obscene words, your hand flying to rub at the spot on your forehead as you backed away from the couch. Jack was instantly jumping over the couch, apologies tumbling out of his mouth so quickly that you could barely understand him.

“Fuck,” He breathed out when he saw the red spot on your forehead, “I’m so sorry, baby. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You winced as his fingers brushed across the skin, “It’s okay. It was an accident. I was just trying to wake you up so we could talk.”

His fingers froze in their place, his breathing stuttering before he let out an aggressive nod. You held your hand out towards the couch, silently urging him to sit down. You followed right behind him, falling onto the cushion directly next to him. Jack noticed the way the goosebumps rose on your skin from the cold, and he was quick to grab the blanket from behind him and drape it over your legs.

“Thank you,” You mumbled, mouth drying as you tried to gather your thoughts, “I, um- Fuck. I wanted to say I’m sorry for pushing you away last night. I was a little too drunk to have that conversation last night, but I do want to give you the chance to talk.”

“Yeah, okay,” He rushed out, hands nervously gripping at his thighs, “Thank you. Honestly, I don’t really know what to say. No apology can ever make what I said okay, but the one thing I do know, is that I didn’t mean it. And I don’t want to lose you. Well, I guess that’s two things.”

Pursing your lips, you looked away from and down to your clasped hands as you tried to hide the slight smile on your face as he began to ramble. You knew he was nervous, you were too, and you knew he would always veer off topic whenever he would get slightly overwhelmed with what was going on around him. However cute you may find it in daily situations, this wasn’t the time for it, so you carefully took one  of his hands in your own, bringing his attention back to you.

His eyes flash over to yours, wide with surprise as the words slowly disappear from his lips. He tightened his hold on you as if he was scared you were going to run away, but you didn’t mind it. You gave him an encouraging squeeze so he would keep going.

“Sorry,” He lightly laughed, “I am sorry. I know I said no apology would make it better, and it still won’t, but I am so sorry. I got so far into my head and let the things people, and the league, were saying get to me. I let my anger and frustrations out in the worst way possible, and I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you.”

He sucked in a sharp breath of air, rapidly blinking his eyes as tears started to fall before he continued, “I can’t get the image of your face after I yelled at you out of my head. I never want to do that to you again, and I hate the fact that I did it in the first place. I just- I’m just so fucking sorry. I fucked up so bad and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose you.”

Jack’s voice cracked near the end, a broken sob echoing throughout your apartment. You’d been doing a good job at keeping your own tears at bay, but the second you heard his voice break, there was no holding them back.

“You haven’t lost me,” You managed to get out through your own cries, “I’m not saying this hasn’t damaged us in some way, but I am saying that it is repairable. We can fix it, if that’s what you want.”

“Yes,” He shamelessly blurted out, “Yes. I do. I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you. You’re everything to me, and I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you, okay? You are a beacon to me, and I can’t imagine my life with you.”

The two of you stared at each other, letting yourselves grasp onto the fact that there was still hope for happiness. That, despite the damage he unintentionally caused, your relationship wasn’t doomed for failure. While what used to be your relationship had been burned down, the two of you were going to emerge from the flames into something better entirely. 

Jack’s free hand hesitantly cupped your cheeks as he asked, “You’re still mine?”

“Baby, I will always be yours.”

[therethatstar]

phum and peem are truly so funny.

because phum's type is literally a dude who kicks him in the balls. who side eyes him on the regular. who has a default 'angry kitten' face every time he looks at him. who kisses him after he shows appreciation for his time. who doesn't really talk sweet so phum goes out of his way to reiterate that he normally doesn't like sweets anyways. who continues to 'act' annoyed at phum's presence but will let phum kiss him again and again. who has a specific tone reserved just for phum. who babies the shit out of phum, little does he know he's healing phum's inner child. who is so so so forgiving of phum. who is always ready to listen to phum, to hear him out. who is patience with him. who is more than ready to love phum as he is, so unconditionally. who is willing to figure all of this out together with phum.

and peem's type is essentially a guy who pisses him off. who makes him so angry that he's starting to question his type, because why does he find this guy attractive. who is pretty shitty with words and pull assholes moves too. who is quick to recognize his mistakes and immediately apologize for it. who doesn't excuses his wrongdoings but simply admits that he was wrong. who will continue to say sorry simply because he cares a lot about peem's feelings and he'll do it a million times if that is what it take for peem to forgive him. who is a child at heart despite the tough guy act he tries so hard to put on. who cares a lot about other people but doesn't quite know how to show it. who thinks people probably only stick around him because of money so it becomes his first resort to offer to people he cares about. who gets childishly jealous but will never actually admit it. who is quite bold with his words but also immediately gets shy and insecure about them. who retreats back into his shell the moment he lets that insecurity takes over. who goes completely soft for peem under EVERY circumstances. who is willing to put himself out of his elements just so he can spend more time with peem. who always tells peem that he enjoys spending time with him. who keeps repeating to peem that he values peem's times. who fucks up at time but is always willing to learn and to be better. who just wants to be whatever the best version of himself that he can be because peem deserves no less than that.

but also…. both of them would rather jump of a cliff first and maybe chew on glass a few time before they will verbally express their feelings for each other. they’re down to just keep making out tho. and down to maybe probably most definitely cuddle all night in a room full of their friends. because they’re totally and certainly not gay for each other and DEFINITELY aren’t like head over heels in love with each other or anything. pff.

idk. they're just very neat to me. and they're so entirely perfect for each other. and i can't fucking believe a gmmtv romcom is making me feel THIS much about two fictional characters.

[konigsblog]

I feel like E-Dater Konig would definitely send you one of those vibrators that's controlled by app/remote just so he can control your pleasure while on the phone with him

oh, FOR SURE. 🖥️🎮

a big part of e-dater könig is his crave for control. he doesn't like whenever you speak to others and play games with them; he believes you should only play with him and no other.

he's a controlling asshole a lot of the time, but you're head over heels for him and ignore his very obvious red flags, like his controlling and manipulative behaviour, as well as his insecurity and jealousy. he believes anyone who tries to talk to you should be blocked. he's easily jealous due to his insecurities and worries that someone will steal you away.

so, it shouldn't surprise you that he tells you to keep a vibrator in your panties while he controls the toy in the midst of playing a game together. he forces you to keep your microphone on so everybody can hear what könig is doing to you, feeling cocky as he has full control.

oh, you want to tell him about your day? go ahead; he'll have some fun with the app on his phone. his cock gets achingly hard at the sound of your sudden gasps and mewls and the way you moan when he turns the sensitivity on high.

fuck, it's addictive. :(

[mrsjellymunson]

The Essence of You

Pairing: Steddie; Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Written for the @steddiesmuttyseptember week 2 prompt ‘soft and slow’ | WC: ~7.3k | Rating/CW: E 🔞 SMUT, MDNI! Angst/conflict, big emotions, insecurities, mentions of difficult childhood experiences, hurt/comfort, oral (m rec), fingering (m rec), ball worship, scent kink/olfactophilia, cumming untouched, cum eating, aftercare | A/N: This is the longest thing I’ve written this fast - thank you for the challenge! I’d usually spend ages faffing and obsessing editing and proofing, so if you see any mistakes or missed warnings/tags LMK ❤️

My masterlist

Eddie isn’t having the best of weeks. It’s midsummer, and he’s been working hard in the shop with the only ventilation being the open front shutters and no breeze. His boss has been on his ass, and he’s been saddled with working on a particularly uncooperative Chevy for the past three days. 

It’s getting him down mentally as well as physically, but he doesn’t like to bother Steve with stuff like this. Their relationship still feels fairly new, especially for Eddie, who’s never had anyone stick around for as long as Steve has. He’s constantly anxious that Steve will eventually figure out that he’s a total nerdy, needy loser, so he keeps his feelings close to his chest. 

They’ve only been living together for about three months, and Eddie’s still adjusting to having someone other than Wayne around all the time. Particularly someone like Steve, who seems to care so much. He’s always getting close to Eddie, touching him, cuddling him. At first Eddie thought it was purely sexual. After all, that’s what most people wanted who’ve gone anywhere near him. But he also seems to want to do it for his own comfort, and Eddie’s. He touches him to say hello, good morning, good night, let’s cook, thank you, can I have one of your fries… Sometimes it’s just letting him know he’s there, or just for touching him’s sake.

And Eddie loves it, he really does. He hasn’t had that level of affection in his life since he lost his mom, and if he’s honest, he craves it.

But Steve often insists on doing it at the most inconvenient moments. Like when Eddie gets home from work. As soon as he’s through the door of their apartment Steve’s on him, nuzzling at him and demanding cuddles, when all Eddie wants to do is get in the shower and wash off the stink of the day. It’s got to the point where Eddie deliberately tries to avoid Steve when he arrives home, quickly breezing past whatever room he’s in and heading straight for the bathroom, locking the door before Steve can catch up, and instead enjoying the fresh cuddles he can indulge in once he’s got cleaned up and changed.

But today is different. It’s been especially hot, the Chevy has been an exquisite asshole, and he hasn’t eaten or drunk nearly enough. He’s grumpy, parched and irritable, and for some reason he’s decided that today’s the day he’s going to bring his dirty work hoodie home to wash it, the fabric slung over his shoulder not doing anything to cool either himself or his mood.

Instead of checking where Steve is like usual, he decides getting a drink is more important, and strides into the kitchen to grab something cold before heading out to wash up.

It doesn’t work out that way though, as Steve’s already fixing dinner, his shift at Family Video ending pleasantly early now that he’s in charge of the schedules. He’s in a sinfully tight pair of shorts and a tight shirt, and has a cute apron tied around his waist. On autopilot, Eddie’s insecurities barely register when he internally questions what the hell he could’ve done to deserve this Adonis of a man. He tries to be as quick as he can, but it’s no use, Steve’s on him before he’s even managed to close the fridge.

“Hey, baby. How was your day?”

Steve’s strong arms circle around Eddie’s waist and pull him in, and he pushes his face into his damp, disheveled curls at his neck and breathes in.

Steve’s voice turns gruff and he closes his eyes as he mumbles,

“Ohh, baby, you really need a shower…”

In his already-fragile state Eddie doesn’t take it well. Pushing his forearms against Steve’s shoulders, he tries to pull away, stuttering,

“Whaddayou mean? D’you think…?”

“What is it, baby? I’m just tellin’ you how you sm-”

Eddie’s protestations become more frantic, and he bodily shoves Steve away, his voice high-pitched and tremulous as he retreats, shouting,

“I’m not- I don’t- Get off of me.”

Suddenly on the defensive, he blurts,

“Y’know what Steve, fuck you!”

He storms out of the kitchen, flinging his hoodie violently into the laundry room on his way to their shared bedroom, the zipper making a harsh clanging noise against the metal and creating the perfect soundtrack to Eddie’s spiky mood. 

He kicks the bedroom door shut aggressively behind him, dropping to the mattress with his head in his hands, desperately trying to muffle the sound of his sobbing.  

Steve stands in the kitchen, stunned. He has no idea what he did to upset Eddie so much, but he’s concerned it might be because he brought up how he smells.

He tries to give Eddie some space, busying himself with small tasks in the kitchen, but he’s distracted and keeps dropping slices of carrot onto the floor, so eventually admits defeat and removes his apron.

He pads slowly towards their bedroom door, still uncertain of what he’s done and, especially, fearful of making things worse. But he’s unable to leave his boyfriend alone in such a state, especially one that he’s inadvertently created. 

He knocks quietly, murmuring softly,

“Eddie? Are you okay? Can I come in?”

There’s a few beats of silence. Each second builds Steve’s anxiety to the point he can barely stand it. He’s milliseconds from opening the door, but then he hears a loud sniff, followed by a large exhale, and then Eddie’s voice, trembling a little as he mumbles,

“Y-yeah. I guess...”

Steve pushes the door, slowly, still nervous of startling Eddie, and sees him sitting on the edge of their bed. He’s still in his work clothes. His overalls are pushed down and tied at his hips, his tank top, spotted with grease and sweat, hugs his torso and his slim waist, and his hair, tied up in a messy bun on top of his head, is loose and barely containing his curls. He sits with his elbows on his knees and his palms over his eyes. Steve thinks he’s an absolute vision, but decides to keep that to himself for the time being. 

He moves slowly towards him, still keeping his distance, though one hand comes up almost unconsciously, desperately wanting to touch Eddie, comfort him.

He stops himself, and instead, kneels on the rug in front of him. Gently, like he’s approaching a frightened child, he takes hold of Eddie’s wrists and encourages him to move his hands so that Steve can see his face. 

His attempt at a calm demeanour falters as he sees Eddie’s wet and red-rimmed eyes. He hates it - someone as beautiful as Eddie should never be made to feel like this, especially not by someone who loves him. 

“Eddie, what’s going on? Can you talk to me, please?”

Eddie tries to squirm out of Steve’s gentle grip, looking away from him and trying unsuccessfully to hide his face behind a few strands of loose hair.

“It- it’s nothing, shit. Just- leave me alone, let me get cleaned up, okay?”

He tries to rise, but Steve’s not having any of it. He leans forward, stopping Eddie from standing. He needs to know what this is about. 

“No, it’s not okay. Tell me what I did. Did I offend you? Talking about how you smell? It’s just that-”

Eddie cuts him off with a huff.

“It’s something from my childhood, okay? A- a bad memory. More than one memory, actually.”

He chuckles humourlessly. 

Steve stays quiet, but raises his brows, encouraging him to continue. Eddie looks into those warm, golden, puppy dog eyes, and suddenly the words come.

“It’s- They- After my mom-”

He takes a deep breath. Steve knows how much Eddie misses her, but never pushes the subject, preferring to let Eddie to talk about her whenever he feels up to it.

“There was no one to take care of me, I guess. My dad, h- he, uh, he didn’t care. He never washed my clothes, or told me to bathe. He just let me run around in my own filth. And I didn’t know any better until months later, when the kids at school started making fun of me. They’d run around pinching their noses, making disgusting noises and- and saying I needed to take a bath. You know what they called me? Mouldy Munson. So I guess I’m a little… sensitive when people comment on how I smell.”

Eddie huffs again, and the tears start falling freely. He doesn't even try to hide it now.

Steve’s brows furrow in anger as he imagines a younger Eddie, bereft and alone, and lacking even basic life skills because no motherfucker thought he was worth the effort. But Steve knows different. He’s sure he can somehow help Eddie realise his own considerable worth, even if right now he has no clue exactly how he’s gonna go that.

He takes a chance and moves to sit next to Eddie on the bed, close to him, keeping one hand wrapped tightly in both of his.

“Will you tell me about it?”

Eddie frowns.

“You’d really wanna hear about my shitty childhood?”

“Of course. I wanna know everything there is to know about you, the good things and the bad. They all mix together to make you who you are.”

Eddie looks at Steve then. It takes a moment, but after searching Steve’s face for the slightest hint of condescension or dishonesty, and finding neither, he decides to do the bravest thing he thinks he’s ever done. He takes Steve up on his offer. Relaxing an almost imperceptible amount, though Steve notices, he continues,

“Okay, well… That first time, I defended myself. Came out swinging, managed to take a couple of those fuckers down before the lunch supervisor came out, and hauled me away to the principal’s office. He left everyone else in the yard and didn’t once ask for my side of the story. I guess that was the moment I realised that the only person I could rely on was myself. 

“It was only after that happened a few more times that a teacher took me to one side, sat me down, gave me a drink and a cookie, and then another, and another, because Asshole Al apparently didn’t think feeding me was all that important either, and then asked me what was going on at home. I tried to play it cool, brush her off, knowing my dad would tan my hide if I said anything bad about The Munsons. But she saw through me, of course she did. I was a scrawny kid in filthy jeans and she’d heard about what had happened with my mom.

“So, she cleaned me up, sorted me out. She’d make games out of getting me to brush my teeth and take a bath, and she taught me how to do my own laundry. She’d challenge me to shirt-folding races, or cereal-eating contests, and, what a surprise, I’d always win. She even took me to goodwill, and bought me clothes that actually fit with her own money.”

Eddie snuffles out a chuckle as he remembers,

“One time, she gave me five dollars. Five whole goddamn dollars! I thought I was the richest person in the world. She told me to get some fun things for myself. Like toys, n’ shit. I didn’t even know what I was looking for. I chose some cars, a dragon figurine, a stuffed Garfield that was missing an ear and was way past its best. I picked up some wildly inappropriate books and comics that were either far too young or far too old for me, and she helped me swap a few things out. But when she saw I’d got a tattered copy of The Hobbit, and told her how much I liked the drawings and the ‘code’ on the front, for some reason she didn’t make me put that one back…

“And that’s actually where I got my first ever band shirt. She found a KISS one in the adult section, and said she’d heard me singing old rock��n’roll songs to myself so I should have it, that I’d grow into it. I loved that shirt. I wore it round the trailer until it was the right size for me to go out in, and then I wore it some more. And then, when it got too tattered, I cut off the arms and the bottom, and wore it as a goddamn crop top. I might’ve even worn it for Corroded Coffin’s first gig.”

Eddie’s eyes light up at the fond memories, and Steve smiles with him. 

But he’s just a guy, and he can’t help the feeling in his pants that comes with imagining Eddie in a short shirt that exposes his underarms and happy trail. He wonders if he’d ever consider doing it again, even if it was just for Steve.

But then Eddie’s face falls again, as he recounts,

“‘Course, all of that was lost in the fire. I’ll never forget that teacher though. In a lot of ways she saved my life. So, I guess I’ve been paranoid ever since, about how I smell, I mean. Which is why my deodorant is always finished faster than yours, and even though you have the most elaborate haircare routine in the Western hemisphere, it’s me who’s always running out of shampoo…”

Steve squeezes Eddie’s hand, hoping to reassure him, let him know he’s here for him, and silently thanking him for opening up and sharing all of this.

Eddie looks up and their eyes connect. Steve smiles softly at Eddie, and, after a brief pause, Eddie smiles softly back. Steve’s not running. And Eddie feels good, lighter. He thinks maybe this sharing shit thing might not be so bad after all…

It’s not all swans and roses though, as Eddie suddenly remembers his actions from earlier, feeling like he owes Steve an apology. 

“Hey, I’m sorry. For what I said. It just takes me back there, y’know? I kinda overreacted.”

Steve reassures him, taking his hand in both of his. 

“Oh no, baby, I’m the one who should be sorry. I didn’t know. You don’t talk much about your family, and…”

“It’s okay, Steve. It wasn’t your fault. I should’ve said something, not snapped at you like that.”

Lightening the mood, Steve responds,

“It’s okay. You know I like it sometimes when you’re a little mean…”

He dips his chin and looks up coyly through his lashes, and they both giggle again, remembering the other night when Eddie most certainly did put Steve in his place…

It’s Steve’s turn to look down now, as he decides, given that Eddie’s been so brave and confident, he’ll also reveal something he’s kept hidden.

“Look, the reason I was so scared that you were mad is because, well… I guess I need to make a confession of my own.”

Eddie’s intrigued, shifting on the bed to straighten up to Steve, his big brown eyes still rimmed with red, but flashing now, inquisitive and mischievous.

“Yeah, uh… I guess my childhood was… kinda the opposite? My parents were… fastidious. Everything needed to be perfect, to the point where my mom ended up practically sterilising the house on a daily basis. When I used to play outside, she’d make me strip off as soon as I came in, dump all my clothes in a boil wash and make me go straight to the bathroom and get in a hot bath. Sometimes she’d even hose me down in the yard before letting me inside. It got to the point where the fun of playing outside wasn’t worth the effort to get cleaned up afterwards, and I’d just not do much, staying indoors rather than going through all that, time after time. And when I got older, and especially after I met you…”

Steve smirks and his cheeks pinken,

“… I realised I actually quite liked the way other people smell. As in, their natural smell. And it made me feel bad, ashamed, like I was dirty, or perverted, or something. So, I never told you, because I thought you might, I dunno, say I had a weird kink or something. Which is stupid, because you’re so not like that.”

It’s Eddie’s turn to catch Steve’s gaze now, and he brings his other hand to cover Steve’s, squeezing it and smiling softly as if to say, no, I’m not.

“So… what I’m trying to say is… I actually really like it when you smell musky, and masculine, and, well, like you. And- and this is the weird part, especially when you’re all sweaty and dirty from a hard day's work.”

His brow furrows just a touch and his throat clicks as he swallows. It’s almost inaudible, but Eddie’s close enough to catch it. And the slight shift in Steve’s position as he moves his hips, trying to increase the friction provided by the folds in the denim at his crotch.

A smirk twitches at the side of Eddie’s mouth, as if he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing, but is liking it all the same.

“Wait, really? You’re serious? You actually… like… the way I smell?”

“Oh yeah, the sweatier the better. Goddamnit, you have no idea what you do to me…”

Steve loses his composure, dropping his forehead onto Eddie’s shoulder and releasing one hand from their shared grip to roughly palm at his crotch, exhaling loudly.

Eddie can hardly believe this. The very thing he’s been trying to hide all these years is something that Steve actually finds alluring. He can’t help the stirring in his own pants as he looks at the effect this is all having on Steve, especially what’s going on beneath his hand.

Steve looks up again, takes in Eddie’s visage. He wants Eddie to feel special, wanted, like the princess he deserves to be. Wants him to feel every moment, every movement. Feel all of Steve’s love that he wants to pour into him and over him, until it suffuses every molecule of his being and dislodges and replaces all of the fear, doubt and self-loathing that Eddie has left and leaves him a breathless, glowing, sated ball of self love. He wants Eddie to feel the way Steve feels about him. Has always felt about him, if he’s honest.

He stands from the bed and shifts until his thighs straddle Eddie’s, lowering himself onto his knees, and lifts a hand to touch the side of his face. Smiling at him, he decides to shower him with even more compliments, hoping to overload him so much that he can’t help but believe them. He runs his thumb across Eddie’s cheek and lets his fingers tickle the sensitive skin at the nape of his neck, then leans into his opposite ear and begins the assault.

“You’re so beautiful, so gorgeous. You’re hands down the hottest person I’ve ever met, and you make my knees so weak.”

He connects his lips with the side of Eddie’s neck, just below his ear, and feels him shudder at the touch.

“You look so good, you’re like a fucking god.”

He kisses him again, more pressure this time, but still soft, and he allows his tongue to peek out just a little to kitten lick Eddie’s skin. He gets his first taste of the salt and sweat that he craves, and moans against Eddie’s alabaster flesh when he gasps at the sensation.

“And you sound so good too. Oh hell, when you’re under me, or over me.”

Another kiss, sucking gently this time, and Eddie moans.

“And when you sing? Fuck, you don’t want to know how many times I’ve nearly cum in my pants watching you at The Hideout.”

He’s pretty sure Eddie almost convulses at this. He huffs a breathy chuckle into his ear, and pulls slowly back to admire his handiwork. Eddie’s flushed a pretty pink, his lips rolled inwards and his brow slightly pinched, as if he might be holding something in, possibly tears. Steve holds his gaze, going in for the kill. He runs a fingertip over the damp curls at Eddie’s temple and his voice drops as he admits,

“I wanted you for so long, and now I can hardly believe you’re mine. I want to make you feel so good, I wanna worship you, slowly, and let you know how beautiful you are.”

Eddie breathes heavily as Steve leans in again, his swollen lips almost brushing the tip of Eddie’s round and pretty nose.

“But please, please, more than anything else in the world, I want to show you just how much I love your smell. Will you let me do that?”

Eddie’s voice trembles a little as he agrees, with a mix of nervousness and excitement,

“Y-yeah, Steve. I’ll- I’ll let you do that…”

Steve’s grin is so bright it rivals the sun, and Eddie feels a rush of warmth more intense than anything he’s felt before. Eddie’s less restrained than Steve is, and his hands lift from the mattress to grab at Steve’s hips, yanking him forwards, up his lap. As Steve’s crotch connects with his, both of them semi-hard now, he huffs out a breathy,

“Christ!”

Steve lets out a delighted whimper, enjoying the sensation, but resisting the urge to grind himself onto Eddie’s bulge. There’s nothing he wants more right now than to flip him, strip him and destroy him, but he musters every ounce of self-control that he has left and restrains himself. He’s pretty sure that if asked, Eddie would disagree and demand that Steve take him, roughly, obliterate his negative thoughts with thrusts, smacks, physical sensations, maybe even a little pain. But that’s not what he wants for Eddie right now. So, fighting every cock-driven impulse, he moves.

Soft. 

And slow.

His lips part slightly as he cups Eddie’s cheeks in his palms and softly, slowly, connects their mouths. Whenever they kiss it’s always like velvet and rose petals, and it feels like coming home, but today it feels even more special. Steve hums softly, and Eddie whimpers quietly. Steve moves, pursing his lips and changing position, but not taking it any further just yet.

Soft… 

Slow…

He intersperses his kisses with more verbal encouragement.

“I want to smell all of you,” kiss, “I want to taste all of you,” kiss, “I want you to fill my senses until I don’t exist anymore,” kiss, “I want to show you how much I love every part of you,” kiss.

Steve’s tongue peeks out to collect a little of the tangy zest from Eddie’s upper lip. There’s a moment of total silence and stillness, then the floodgates open. They both drop their jaws, wide, and plunge their tongues into the other. They dance against each other, pushing, dragging, moaning as they explore every inch of each other’s mouths. It’s messy and feral and noisy and tips them towards combustion.

Steve’s suddenly not moving so slowly, breaking the kiss and encouraging Eddie to kick off his boots and socks and shuffling him to the centre of the bed, pulling off his overalls and boxers and discarding his own garments with similar fervour, their hard cocks springing free and bobbing in the heat of the room. Steve straddles Eddie’s naked thighs with his own toned, muscular ones, his quarry left in nothing but his stained and greasy singlet. 

But as soon as he’s got him where he wants him, Steve takes a deep, calming breath, and resumes his languid pace. He pauses for a few moments before toying with the hem of Eddie’s tank top, pulling it up at a speed that turns out to be deliciously agonising for both of them. 

He moves it up Eddie’s rib cage, little by little exposing more of his torso, a soft smile spreading across his lips as he takes in Eddie’s glorious form. 

He runs his thumbs up under the fabric and over Eddie’s nipples, perked despite the heat, pausing at the one that has the silver bar through it, flicking over it like it’s a switch that’ll turn Eddie on. It’s definitely working. He can see Eddie’s chest rising and falling faster and deeper with every stroke.

When the shirt bunches at Eddie’s throat, Steve encourages him to place his hands above his head, and, pulling the garment off, Steve is treated to the sight of Eddie’s underarms and triceps, one of his favourite sights in the world. Eddie moves to bring his arms down again, partly because he desperately wants to touch Steve, but also because he’s still not comfortable exposing these parts of himself while he’s still feeling so… unclean. But Steve stops him, playfully lilting,

“Nuh-uh. You leave those right there for me, you hear me?”

Eddie swallows and nods, acquiescing to whatever his Stevie wants right now. Steve bundles Eddie’s shirt and presses it to his face, inhaling deeply. Eddie’s eyes flash wide, his insecurities bubbling up, but Steve lets out a satisfied mmmm and throws the ball of soiled fabric towards his side of the bed, explaining, 

“I’m saving that for when you’re not here, and I get lonely.”

Steve runs his fingers across Eddie’s collarbones and down over the skin of his torso. He's tacky with grease, sweat and motor oil, and Steve savours the physical evidence of Eddie's toil. 

He runs his hands up his sides until his thumbs graze the hair under Eddie’s arms. Eddie squirms a little, uncomfortable. Steve presses harder, rubbing his thumbs in small circles under Eddie’s arms, massaging the skin and playing with the soft hair. Eddie’s looking anywhere but at Steve, his eyes flicking around the room and his breathing erratic, and Steve can feel the tension in his chest and legs. He bends forwards and kisses down the centre of Eddie’s chest, licking at the hair there and moaning as he gathers the salty sweetness he finds. 

“Just relax, baby. Remember, I like it, and I want to do this. Don’t think about it, just feel it. How does it feel?”

Eddie relaxes slightly, closes his eyes. Steve continues massaging, and to his delight, Eddie starts to hum. 

“Hmm, feels good. Feels really good.”

Steve’s tongue flicks over Eddie’s pierced nipple, garnering him another hum. He moves towards his armpit, keeping one eye on Eddie’s face to make sure he’s okay. His eyes are still closed and he seems to be enjoying this.

Steve closes his eyes and inhales deeply, filling his lungs with Eddie's aroma. It’s overwhelming in the best way. Sweet sweat, body odour, motor oil, and the merest hint of the spray deodorant he used this morning. He can’t help but groan as he finally gets to live out one of his deepest fantasies, his cock bearing this out and bouncing away from his abdomen.

He exhales with a sigh, and Eddie twitches beside him, his breath tickling as it gusts down his flank. Steve checks in, just in case.

“You still feeling good, baby?”

“Mhmm, really good, so good…”

Buoyed by Eddie’s reactions, Steve inhales again, and this time on his exhale, still massaging Eddie’s armpits, he licks a long stripe down Eddie’s arm along his triceps, finally getting to taste what he’s admired from afar for so long.

Eddie full-on moans beneath him, his hips bucking up and brushing their cocks together. It’s a delightful surprise to both of them that he’s enjoying this so much, despite his reservations.

Steve licks again, and places wet, sucking kisses to Eddie’s underarm. He’s never tried to leave a bruise here, and if he hadn’t already promised to be soft, he’d be trying to now. He can’t help but push his own hips down a little, increasing the friction between them. The sensation and the joint groans they let out are almost enough to make him lose his self-control, but he’s determined to make this last.

With one last inhale, smaller than the others, Steve pushes up and kneels between Eddie’s thighs, spreading them wider.

He appraises his boyfriend, who’s now looking at him with a fond, but slightly stunned expression. He strokes Eddie’s thighs softly with his palms, almost, but not quite, skimming them up to where Eddie needs them the most.

He bends forwards now, doubling over and resting his butt on his heels, settling his head between Eddie’s thighs, another of his most repressed and hidden fantasies staring him in the face.

He pushes forwards, just slightly, and the tip of his nose nudges Eddie’s sack. He feels him tense, just a little, before relaxing again. They’ve played like this before, but Steve realises just how much courage it’s taking Eddie to be with him like this, and makes a mental note to congratulate him for it, when the time is right.

Steve moves forward again, and gently nuzzles Eddie’s balls, exhaling his warm breath over Eddie’s velvety skin and pushing his nose gently against him. He breathes in again, not as hard as before, just allowing Eddie’s musk to seep into him slowly.

Moving to one side, he moves with more vigour into Eddie’s groin, pushing his whole face into the crease between Eddie’s hip and pelvis. He takes a long, hard inhale, suffusing himself with his love’s aroma.

Groaning in a way he’s never heard from himself before, he sounds practically drunk as he mumbles against Eddie’s skin,

“God, you smell so fucking good…”

Indulging himself even further, he flicks out his tongue, and kitten licks Eddie’s sack.

Above him, Eddie huffs and whimpers,

“Steve, no, I’m- Haaaaah!”

His protestations are cut off with a moan as Steve takes one of his balls into his mouth, swirling his tongue around and gently sucking. Eddie tastes musky, salty and, to Steve at least, utterly delicious. He feels Eddie’s thighs tremble against his shoulders, and decides to add a little extra for him, moaning around this most delicate of organs and sending tantalising vibrations through Eddie’s entire body. He glances up to see that Eddie’s moved his arms, and is now covering his eyes with his palms. Good, he thinks, the less visual stimulation he has the more attention he can give to what’s happening elsewhere…

Steve releases Eddie’s ball and moves up to lick a firm, wide stripe up the centre of his sack, his turgid shaft and all the way to his swollen head. He flicks the tip over the ridges at the heart-shaped place Eddie loves so much, and then swirls his tongue over and around the divinely smooth skin of his swollen and leaking glans.

He tenses and points to dip into Eddie’s slit and collect the precum that’s beading there, letting out a muffled, “Aah mah ghaa…”, as the taste hits his tongue. A different kind of salty, but still so delicious, and so very, very Eddie.

Steve congratulates himself, he’s done well, but he can’t hold off any longer, and he takes the top half of Eddie’s cock into his mouth, sucking and swirling softly. He manages to stop himself from taking any more, knowing he still wants to take his time. He does allow himself to move a little however, sucking, feeling, tasting, basking in the myriad sensations that are filling his senses.

Eddie disobeys his orders and brings one hand down to rest softly in Steve’s hair, just needing to touch him, thank him, anchor himself amongst the familiarity of Steve’s thick, glossy locks. Steve doesn’t seem to mind.

He pops off of Eddie’s cock, licking along the sides of it a few more times and enjoying how it makes Eddie’s abs twist and twitch. He gazes fondly down at the pliant figure beneath him, wondering how he ever got this gorgeous creature into his life, let alone his bed.

Unable to tear his gaze away, he fumbles blindly towards the bedside cabinet, pulling out their lube and opening the lid with a click. He makes a show of squeezing far too much onto his raised fingers, knowing how Eddie loves to get messy, and it garners him a cheeky grin from the man beneath him.

Steve leans forward, placing one hand near Eddie’s shoulder to balance over him. He wants to enjoy Eddie’s reactions close up. Eddie spreads his arms wide; it’s more comfortable than keeping them above his head, still demonstrates that level of trust Eddie has for Steve, and it affords Steve the opportunity to take a lungful of Eddie’s underarm musk as often as he wants. And oh, he wants.

Taking another inhale, Steve slides a lubed finger between Eddie’s legs and runs it over that soft spot behind his balls, circling gently. The dual sensations of Steve touching him there and revelling in his odour has Eddie arching off the bed, a long moan leaving him. He thinks, no, he knows, he’s never been treated with such reverence. They’ve never gone this slowly before either, and it’s all combining to rile him up in a way he’s never yet experienced.

Steve licks Eddie’s chest again, and nips at his unpierced nipple, making Eddie emit the cutest little yelp of pleasure, before smiling at him as he runs his lubed fingers over the crease of Eddie’s ass cheeks, delighting in the soft flesh and peachy fuzz. He wants to kiss those perfect globes, suck them, slap them, mark them as his, but he knows he can do that another time.

So, slowly, he slides his fingers between Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie’s practically stopped breathing, his lungs are full and his breaths are so short and shallow they’re barely breaths at all.

Then, at last, Steve connects with his hole. Eddie gasps as the tip of one finger runs around it. Steve revels as Eddie twitches at his touch, before slowly breaching his most intimate area.  

Steve’s moves are shallow for a while, moving just one or two knuckles deep, until he can tell neither of them can take any more waiting, and he slowly plunges as far into Eddie as he can get. 

Eddie groans, his face contorting into ecstasy, eyes closing and his mouth relaxing into a soft O. Steve sighs at the sight, another one of his favourites. He curls his finger and finds Eddie's special spot with practiced ease, and Eddie groans again.

By this point he’d usually have at least two fingers inside Eddie, maybe even his cock, pumping in and out of him, not necessarily roughly, but certainly with more vigour than he’s currently doing. But instead he’s retaining his languid pace, dragging slowly in and out, gently gliding against that special spot, more than enough to excite him, but not quite enough to send him over the edge. They know each other's bodies so well by now that it’s almost impossible for Steve not to almost immediately give Eddie the most intense pleasure.

But he continues, 

Soft… 

Slow…

Watching his face intently, Steve asks,

“You doing okay, baby?”

Eddie’s eyes snap open, and he gazes into Steve’s glorious hazel orbs as he replies, earnestly,

“Oh fuck, Steve. I- I’m doing gr- great.”

Steve smiles again, adoringly salacious, and moves, folding himself so he’s kneeling between Eddie’s legs again. He licks messily over Eddie’s balls, his shaft, the creases of his hips, and Eddie shudders again, his cock twitching at being devoured so completely. Steve breathes in more of Eddie’s scent, almost hyperventilating, and Eddie revels in the feeling of Steve’s exhaled breaths as they flow over his cock, his abdomen, his thighs.

Eventually Steve reaches the top of Eddie’s cock again, and this time takes him fully into his mouth, sinking as far down as he can.

As he opens his throat and his nose hits Eddie’s pubes, Steve is in heaven, the combination of scents and sensations driving him divinely insane, his throat spasming around Eddie’s tip as he groans above him.

His own cock’s angry and red, and leaking an obscene amount of precum that dribbles down his shaft where it’s trapped between his belly and thighs. It’s begging to be touched, rubbed against something, pushed somewhere warm and inviting. But he does his best to ignore it, feeling it twitch every time Eddie gifts him the softest little moans and the loudest groans, knowing that tonight is all about Eddie, Eddie, Eddie… He’s filled, suffused, drunk on the feeling of Eddie’s cock, his heat, his scent, letting everything Eddie envelop his entire being. He indulges in the euphoria of being used by him, and making Eddie feel so, so good.

Eddie resists for as long as he can manage, but eventually he can’t help but move his hips up into Steve, fucking his face with reverent care. He knows that Steve loves it when he’s rough, but he’s trying desperately to take his lead and stay soft, slow, gentle.

It’s not long before Eddie’s whines become shriller and more frequent. He can feel those familiar sensations in his abdomen that tell him he’s gonna lose it, and soon. He moves one hand down to Steve’s chin, trying to warn him.

“St- Stevie, I’m so cl- Where d’you…?”

In response, Steve grasps Eddie’s hand and places it over his head, his hand over Eddie’s, their agreed indication that he wants Eddie to finish in his mouth. Just the thought of combining the musk of his sweat with the tang of Eddie’s cum is almost enough to send Steve over the edge himself. He redoubles his efforts and speeds up the movements of his fingers, still soft, still slow (well, slow-ish) and pushes himself as far down Eddie’s shaft as he can. He’s temporarily blocking his own breathing, but knows the payoff is going to be so, so sweet.

Eddie’s abs tighten, his back curves and his shoulders lift off the bed. He can’t hold off any longer, and with one, two, three more thrusts his balls tighten and his cock spasms. With a long groan he releases himself into Steve’s mouth, rope after rope of hot cum spilling into the love of his life. Steve splutters and swallows what he can, but there’s so much of it this time that some inevitably dribbles out the sides of his mouth, spilling down over Eddie’s balls. 

After a few moments of breathless euphoria, Steve pulls gently off and out of Eddie, placing his palms either side of Eddie’s hips and propping himself up on his arms to take a few deep breaths. Eddie slumps back against their pillows, grinning wildly and a high, lilting chuckle leaving his chest. He lifts his head back up to look down himself at Steve, and marvels at the sight. He’s cock-drunk and fucked out, hair a mess. His eyes are wide and watering, and his jaw is slack and drooling a mix of their combined fluids. Eddie decides it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Steve’s smiling back at him, and as he licks lasciviously around his lips to gather whatever he can he looks like the cat that got the cream. Eddie supposes that, in a lot of ways, he is.

After a few more breaths Steve starts to shift lower down the bed, his usual routine for when he’s going to get cleaned up. But Eddie stops him. His face falls, and he frowns at Steve.

“Wait, isn’t it your turn? You didn’t…”

Steve snorts, his bronze cheeks turning pink.

“Oh, uhh… Actually I did. Turns out your smell turns me on even more than I realised, cuz I kinda…”

He kneels up, spreading his hands wide and looking down at his crotch. Eddie follows his gaze, and is greeted by yet another divine sight. His naked boyfriend with his belly and thighs covered in smeared streaks of his own cum, his softening cock slowly drooping down onto the crease of his thigh, and wet, sticky patches adorning their comforter. Steve continues,

“I, uh… I guess we’re gonna have to do some laundry later.”

They both giggle.

“Yeah, worth it though. Fuck. You really like my, uh, scent that much, huh?”

Steve drags sweaty fingers through his own mess, and brings it up to show Eddie.

“See for yourself, big boy.”

Eddie quickly props himself up on his elbows, and looks intently at Steve, dimples popping in his cheeks as he smiles and drops his mouth open in an inviting gesture. Steve obliges, and pushes forwards, slowly running his fingers over his boyfriend’s tongue. Eddie sucks softly, closing his eyes and humming, revelling in Steve’s taste and barely believing that he’s had this effect on the man he loves, and the most gorgeous person he’s ever seen. He licks between his fingers for a few moments, before releasing him with a pop and a roll of his eyes, commenting cheekily,

“Go on then. I guess I can let you go get a towel.”

Steve does so, cleaning up quickly in the bathroom before getting them both a much-needed cold drink, which they both consume with satisfied sighs.

Eddie shifts over on the bed so that Steve can cuddle into his side, knowing it’s his favourite position. Steve angles his head to look up at Eddie.

“You feeling better now?”

“Oh baby, you have no idea…”

Eddie stretches out the last two words, emphasising his point and making Steve giggle a little.

Steve runs his fingertip up and down Eddie’s naked chest, focussing on his abs, skimming into his navel and tickling the top of his happy trail. Thinking about what Eddie told him earlier, he ventures,

“So, are you gonna tell me more about this crop top phase of yours…?”

Eddie’s voice becomes sweet and high, and playfully condescending, as he lilts,

“Oh, baby. You want me to wear one for you? I can do that.”

Steve’s cheeks flush pink again, visibly excited at the prospect of seeing Eddie dressed that way. Eddie’s voice drops husky and low as he continues,

“And you know what else? I’m gonna look forward to working on that damn Chevy tomorrow. Let it try me, make me fuckin’ sweat. For you, baby, all for you.”

Steve hums appreciatively into Eddie’s hair, pressing his hips just a little harder into Eddie’s thigh, his cock already filling out a little at the thought. 

Eddie drops a sweet peck to the tip of his nose.

“And if you happen to be in the kitchen when I get home, wearing that damn apron, and only that apron…? Well, let’s see where the evening takes us, shall we?”

Steve hums again, snuggling in closer to Eddie, and he soon drops into a light doze. 

Something has shifted this evening, and they both feel it. They’re no longer keeping aspects of themselves hidden, in well-meaning but misguided attempts to protect the other. What began as something accidentally painful has led to more openness, honesty, and a deeper understanding of each other, and a level of connection that has surprised both of them.

Eddie certainly has a newfound appreciation for the benefits of opening up, and sharing. And, he’s surprised to realise, a brand new perspective on his own natural musk. He thinks over everything Steve said. All the compliments, the words of adoration, and, yes, how he reacted to Eddie’s smell. His spent cock stirs at the thought.

They’re both still sweaty, sticky messes, and some degree of clean-up is definitely necessary. But for Eddie, this time it’s more about making them both more comfortable, rather than eliminating the discomfiting paranoia he used to hold.

A little while later he brandishes a delighted little smirk as he gently rouses Steve from his light slumber and proffers,

“Hey, baby. I think we both need to clean up a little. How about I show you how much I love you all over again, soft and slow… But this time, in the shower…?”

Thanks so much for reading!

Comments and reblogs mean the absolute world to writers, please consider interacting and sharing - it keeps us doing what we’re doing!

A/N 2: I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the idea of Eddie being helped by a teacher somewhere else, either in a fanfic or maybe even Flight Of Icarus (IDK, it’s been a while). I’d love to give credit/attribution for the inspiration so if you’ve seen it before or it was in your fic, please let me know! Also, the ‘Eddie pulls Steve up his lap’ moment was inspired by this art by @dreaminginpencil ❤️

A/N 3: Fun fact - this started out as my contribution for this month’s @steddiemicrofic prompt, ‘shower’. Make it 399 words? Yeah, right 😏😂 Copious thanks to @the-unforgivenn and @airen256 who helped me thrash it about and confirm it definitely needed it’s own story, ILY 💗

If you’d like to see more of my works you can find them on my masterlist. 

Tagging my usuals, thank you darlings 💋 (open, just ask!): @joejoequinnquinn @jamdoughnutmagician @guiltyasquinn @madaboutmunson @airen256 @sunshinepeachx @the-unforgivenn @skrzydlak @comeonatmebruh @jamiecb66 @80s-addict @abellmunsonmovie @definitionwanderlust @sheneedsrocknroll92 @munson-blurbs @wonderlanddreamer @daisy-munson @maedesculpaeusoubi @kurdtbean @mediocredreams @in2tswft @micheledawn1975 @littlebebebunny @12thatsanumber @alastorssimp @the-baby-angel

[chaoticcollectivenightmare]

🟦My Homelander Headcanons [V1]🟦

Picture from: @redchikittymeow ! Spoilers to The Boys Show (1,2,3,4)

✰ I think Homelander doesn't like his hair to be long now and always keeps it short. His long hair always reminds him of his time in the bad room and his teenage years.

✰ But as a teenager he liked his long hair because he could always play with it when he was nervous or bored. It was the only distraction he had between experiments and so on.

✰ Whenever he sees a camera he automatically smiles because that's how he's trained. Even when he's angry or whatever. When he notices he's being filmed he immediately calms down and smiles at the camera.

✰ He has multiple personality disorder. His two main personalities are John and Homelander.

✰ He can't swim. The scientists never taught him because he couldn't leave the lab and as an adult he never had any desire to learn to swim.

✰ That's why he hardly ever performs with the Deep alone, just for that reason and many others. And when he and the Deep do, they are never at sea or near water.

✰ He’s insecure. He has many different things to be insecure and he is afraid to admit it and if someone finds out they will be killed immediately.

✰ He sometimes has nightmares about Madelyn Stillwell, Stormfront, Queen Maeve, Soldier Boy and sometimes even Starlight and Ryan.

✰ With Madelyn Stillwell Nightmares, I think he would dream that he had used her but could have actually changed the ending. That he shouldn't have killed Madelyn and should have entered into a relationship with her that wasn't just sexual. That he might even have been a father to her son if it had turned out differently. That she might not be afraid of him if they were in a relationship. And then he remembered in the dreams that he was an asshole and had killed her.

✰ In Stormfront Nightmares he would definitely dream of a "normal healthy" relationship with her and the American lifestyle. That they would get married, have children and grow old together and then he would be hit by reality. She was a n*zi, she had committed suicide, she was just using him and then he would remember her condition after Ryan had hurt her and everything bad about the relationship.

✰ In Queen Maeve Nightmares he dreams of how he saw this relationship in his eyes and just loves it. He had the perfect relationship with Maeve but then suddenly Elena would come and take her away and then Homelander would be alone and beg Queen Maeve to come back to him but then he realized the reality. She hated him. She never loved him.

✰ In Soldier Boy Nightmares he dreams of growing up as his son and that Soldier Boy was proud of him and stood in the spotlight with him. Everything would be perfect until the dream goes black and he wakes up again and he fights with Soldier Boy and Soldier Boy lets out his hatred on him. He yells at him and fights until Homelander is bloody and then he grabs him by the collar and strangles him and Homelander says with tears in his eyes.

"Please don't Dad….. I'm scared"

"You're not my son, you just a scared Pussy"

Soldier Boy then said full of hatred and the dream ends there.

✰ With Starlight Nightmares it would be that he dreams that Starlight wins or that he is replaced by her. These nightmares don't happen often but when they do happen they are really graphic and show his fear of losing or being replaced.

✰ Ryan's Nightmares are like Starlight Nightmares but I add a dream type where Ryan is very afraid of Homelander in these dreams and doesn't see him as his dad, so it's a reversed Soldier Boy Nightmare because Soldier Boy doesn't see him as his son and Ryan doesn't see him as his father in the nightmares.

✰ And he has general nightmares about the bad room and so on.

✰ He has actually always been afraid of sleeping since he was born because he is paranoid and because of his nightmares.

✰ If he has the chance, he would never like to sleep alone and tries to have someone nearby.

✰ I headcanon that Ryan's bedroom was very close to Homelander's bedroom because when Homelander wakes up from a nightmare, he gets confirmation from his X-Ray that Ryan is okay and that he is sleeping. He always tries to calm himself down by doing this.

That's all that came to mind right now. Maybe I'll make a V2 or if you want you can message me for headcanons for the boys.

[writingroom21]

Hi hello! I love your writing and I thought I would send a request idea I had if you’re willing.

Could you do a Rafe x reader where they recently started dating and went to high school together but the reader has always been a big nerd but she “got hot” after leaving high school, however she still hangs out with the same group of “nerds” as high school which consists of a few guys and Rafe just doesn’t like the types of people you hang out with because “he doesn’t think they’re good enough for her” and she’s constantly reminding him thats not fair or true since she is still one of the and has been since they were kids. Rafe’s insecure because his friends say that if he doesn’t chill out on his jealousy she’ll probably dump him for one of her friends if she realises how much of an asshole he really is. -Maybe they resolve it with a Lord of the rings movie night with her friends🩵🪼

Nerd

Warnings: none

Wc: 2.1K

A/N: Hey! Thank you so much! I hope you like this and never be afraid to send requests

Once again here he is sitting off to the side not knowing what the hell you are talking about. You and your friends are going on and on about some fantasy book series he hasn’t even heard of. This seems to be a constant since the two of you got together a few months back. You would mention or quote something he knows nothing about. Normally he wouldn’t care because no girl lasts long but you were different.

Sometimes he still feels bad for the person he was when you were both in highschool. He can remember hearing your name but for the life of him he couldn’t remember actually seeing you anywhere. Which would make sense since you ran in two different social groups. Rafe was the typical rich cool kid that thought he was better than everyone else. You well you were the nerd in the front of the class that knew every answer.

Back then he wouldn’t have even thought twice about you. To be honest he probably walked past you in the halls and never noticed you. But one day a few months back he was out with Topper and saw you. He thought you were hot and wanted to get your number. 

“Yo know who that is?” Topper looks at where Rafe is pointing to and sees you. “Yeah that's the girl from your homeroom. Remember the one that wore the stupid Harry Potter shirt.” Rafe tries to think hard but he doesn’t recall the memory. “Nah don’t remember her.” Topper laughs and claps a hand over his shoulder. “That was because she hung out with the nerdy kids and you were too popular to care.”

He honestly doesn’t even know why you gave him a chance. It seemed like the two of you were completely different people yet here you were. You smiled at him and every girl was just done for him. All of his thoughts were consumed about you. What you were doing that day. What your favorite color was. Even if your family would like him.

Getting your number and not blowing the first date was his best achievement to date. But that all seemed futile when he couldn’t keep you entertained like your friends. It started out small, you saying random quotes when you would hang out. He would always go “Huh?” then you would try to explain what you were saying. Only to say “It’s okay that you don’t get it. It’s not your thing.” Which only made him feel even worse.

It’s not like he hated your hobbies or what you were interested in. If he had one wish it would be used to make himself less moronic. That’s what it really came down to for him. He felt dumb.

You would tell him about the books you were reading or the shows and he would get a thing. Sure some of them were fantasy so he knows that it isn’t real but it didn’t make him feel any less dumb. He could hear how you and your friends talk when you are on the phone and they get it. They understand all of your jokes, quotes and references. For heaven's sake you even seem to laugh more with them than you do him.

It got to the point where everyone in his life was ganging up on him for his feelings. It feels like he can’t even voice his concerns without someone calling him out.

“All they talk about is that dumb show. I tried to watch it once with them and they kept asking me questions about it. “Oh Rafe, what did you think about Donna being their daughter?”, “Can you believe that David Tennet is back for a short time. It’s so cool,” I swear they are doing it to make me look dumb.”

Topper and Kelce share a look with each other. This isn’t the first time Rafe has brought up this topic with them. It usually consists of them just nodding along to what he says, not wanting to get too involved. “It honestly sounds like they are trying to include you.” Kelce says.

Rafe shoots him a look from across the table. “Man you don’t get it. It’s the way they say it, like they know I don’t understand and want me to trip up.” Kelce shifts in his seat. “Maybe they are actually trying to be nice. But you know they are nervous about having a new person in the group so the tone comes off weird. I don’t know man.” Rafe is trying to see how that could be the case but the piece won’t fit. “No, they are just not good enough for her. They can’t accept the fact she changed and is with me. It’s just some ploy to get her to leave me.”

“Well if you keep talking like that then maybe she will leave you. These are her friends she’s had for years. They just are trying to include you because you’re her boyfriend.” Topper stares back at Rafe, daring him to say something. “You don’t get it.” Rafe tries to start back up again but Topper isn’t having it.

“No Rafe you don’t get it. This is who she is, sure she’s gotten better looking. But deep down all that stuff is what she’s interested in. Those are her friends for a reason, that’s because they love her and relate to her. How long do you think you can continue being jealous of that before she realizes she’s better off?”

Rafe doesn’t say anything sitting there as Topper keeps going. “You’re lucky she hasn’t heard you say any of this. Could you imagine how hurt she would be if she knew how you were talking about her friends? I may not know her that well but I sure as hell know that it would make her sad. Plus what you don’t like them for is a part of her. She could take that as you not liking who she really is and wanting to change her.”

Kelce just nods along, agreeing with all of the points made. “He’s right dude. You need to control yourself or you won’t have a girlfriend anymore.” 

That conversation has been playing in his mind for the past two weeks. Everytime he talked or saw you he would look at how you behaved. He knew you liked it but it never fully clicked that you really like it. You like reading fantasy books over anything else. You like talking about movies like Star Wars. Like dressing up as characters with your friends for some convention.

All of the evidence was right in front of him and he never fully noticed. It made him feel even more shitty because how couldn’t he know all of this? He was your boyfriend but was too wrapped up in his version of you to see the real you. But now that he is really looking he can see the real you and it’s better than he thought. You were even funnier when he got past the feeling of being dumb.

You even smile a bit bigger when you fully pay attention and comment on things. It’s not like he didn’t pay attention to you, just that his mind was often clouded with the thoughts of him not being good enough. He doesn’t get how he could be so wrapped up in himself and not focus on you. He’s been trying hard to fix all of that but sitting here not knowing what you are talking about isn’t helping. 

All of your friends are commenting on different characters and plot lines. Rafe couldn’t even keep up if he wanted to. A hand resting on his thigh snaps him out of his thoughts. He looks down to see your manicured nails and the ring he got you. Enveloping your hand in his, he brings it to his lips to give it a kiss.

You lean closer to him, whispering in his ear. “Are you okay?” He smiles and wraps an arm around your shoulders. Making you scoot closer to rest against his side. “I am now.” You look up and give him a weird look, wanting to ask him what he meant.

“Hey lovebirds, what are you talking about?” One of your friends, he thinks her name is Sam, asks. “Nothing, just how hot he is.” You and your friends all giggle like school girls. “Actually I was asking what you are all talking about.” He took everyone by surprise, even himself. Usually when you have Rafe around your friends he’s super awkward, not really saying anything. This is the first time he actually tried to participate in a conversation.

“Oh it’s this book series I started called His Dark Materials. Technically I’m reading to my niece but it’s a good book so far.” Rafe nods. “What is it about?” He can’t see it but you have the biggest smile on your face proud of him for trying with your friends. Sam goes on to tell Rafe all about the book so far. Telling him that he should give it a read.

“Oh I don’t really read and never got into fantasy stuff like that.” The room went silent, all eyes on him. At first he thought he said something wrong, offended them somehow. It wasn’t until Becky shrieked that he realized that wasn’t the issue. “Does that mean you’ve never read Lord of the Rings?” The guilty look on his face was enough of an answer for them.

They all groan and you have to hide in his neck so they can’t see you laughing. It wasn’t like they didn’t know he didn’t find their interests well interesting. They all knew that but somehow had some false hope that he was a secret nerd like them. Like hello he is literally dating you, the biggest nerd out of all of them. “Dude how can you be dating someone who hasn’t read the book? Tell me you’ve seen the movies.” 

His leg starts bouncing afraid that once he leaves they will tell you to dumb him. “Um no, never watched them.” Their groans get more desperate with his answer. You sit back properly and try to contain your giggles. “Come on guys, not everyone is going to like them.” His hand squeezes your shoulder, soothing you.

“It’s okay. Never had anyone to really show them to me. Maybe all of you can tell me what I’m missing out on.” That peace offering opened up a whole can of worms. You and your friends spent hours telling him all about the series. Even after you both had left it was all you could talk about. Then a couple of days later he was added into a group chat with all of your friends.

Sam: Welcome to our Chamber of Secrets

Sam: That was a Harry Potter reference btw

Rafe: I actually understood that one

Becks: See he’s already learning

You: Guys don’t bombarded him with messages. You all said you’d be on your best behavior.

Sage: Dude this is like big. We are letting him in the group. Feel special we don’t do this for anyone.

Rafe: I definitely feel special. Thank you

Claire: We want you to join campaign

Rafe: Campaign?

Claire: Yeah you know DnD. Dungeons and Dragons

Rafe: Oh that’s really nice of you but I’ve never played

You: She’s joking. We want to watch Lord of The Rings this weekend. That way you can see what we were talking about. But you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

Rafe: Phew I was scared for a second. I’m down

That brings him to Saturday, sitting on a tiny loveseat with you curled up on his side. The first movie was almost done and he doesn’t find himself hating it. He likes hearing all of the commentary you all share. Giving him inside tips about the movie he wouldn’t have picked up on. Telling him parts from the books he wouldn’t wouldn’t have known about. 

“Thank you.” It’s barely a whisper. You were trying to keep your voice down to not disrupt everyone else watching. Rafe looks down at you, smiling before pecking your lips. “For what?” You pull the blanket to cover the both of you better, snuggling him. “Doing this for me. I know this isn’t how you like to spend your weekends. So thank you for sacrificing something for me.”

“It’s not a sacrifice. You deserve to have someone who tries things you like. I want to be that person.” You give his thigh squeeze. “You’ll always be my person.”