#if she is in tomorrow she might just start putting stuff somewhere or she might leave it for me and focus on the cases of cut stems

[audiovisualrecall]

I wanna wave this at my boss like is those enough planning for you??????

[pedropascallme]

I’ll Always Come Back

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!Reader; no use of y/n

Summary: “The bed in the house you shared wasn’t all that large, but without Joel in it you felt completely dwarfed. It was like the mattress was swallowing you whole without Joel to anchor you to his broad shoulders and wide chest.”

Warnings: Smut (18+ MINORS DNI), dom/sub dynamics (dom!Joel x sub!Reader), fingering, oral (M & F receiving), p in v sex, praise kink, daddy kink. If I missed anything please let me know!

~~~

Summer in Jackson was a mixed bag. On the one hand, the warm weather made it much more encouraging to tend to your day-to-day activities; you could clean up around the house, sing along to the radio Joel had fixed up while you rearranged the cabin you had been gifted. You could go out and mingle without the need to put on layers and layers of clothing. And the plants—God, the plants! Things were growing, summer meant fresh greens and tending to your little plot of garden.

On the other hand, summer in Jackson meant extended patrols; the warm weather encouraged raiders to branch out further, to attempt riskier and riskier maneuvers. You never felt scared, why should stuff like that scare you after everything you had been through with Joel and Ellie? But what did get to you was the fact that Joel’s patrols were getting longer as the warm June days arrived.

Ultimately, things weren’t much different. You and Ellie and Joel still had time together and time apart, but it drove you nearly insane when you had to get into bed without him, wake up without him. The bed in the house you shared wasn’t all that large, but without Joel in it you felt completely dwarfed. It was like the mattress was swallowing you whole without Joel to anchor you to his broad shoulders and wide chest.  

Today had consisted of next to nothing. Ellie had shouted at you while you were still half asleep, saying something along the lines of “Dina” and “movie night” and “back tomorrow, maybe!” You had offered a lazy “mmff” in response. And then you heard the door slam. You tried your best to spend the day doing something—anything—productive. Go for a walk, clean the kitchen, weed the garden. In the end, though, you had found yourself letting yet another day slip by completely wasted. Maybe not completely: You had found the copy of The Catcher in the Rye that you had picked up somewhere along your journey with Joel and Ellie.

You remembered how much you had loved the cover when you first read the book—you must’ve been 14 or 15, if even. The red carousel horse that looked so…messy and unhinged. That might’ve been what initially drew you to the book in the first place, not to judge a book by its cover or anything, but it just looked so promising. When you reread it, you found yourself comparing Holden Caulfield to one Joel Miller; the character’s intensity, his need to isolate himself in order to protect himself and everybody else, his crippling losses. It was all Joel. So maybe, in the back of your mind, you had really just started skimming through it today to remind yourself of the growth you had seen Joel go through in your time together. He was so closed off, so hesitant when you had first joined him and Ellie. Of course, the biggest difference between the real life and the literary was Joel’s ability to grow, to open up and remember how to feel; Holden never really got that sort of closure.

After hours and hours of reading and reminiscing, the sun had finally started to go down. You prepared yourself for another night alone in the house. You were happy Ellie had the ability to go out and spend her time with people she loved, but when Joel was out for so long, you couldn’t help but feel jealous. Jealous and lonely. But you were a big girl, and you could handle it. Even if you hated it. You changed out of your denim shorts and took off the tank top that was now fairly sweaty, opting to sleep naked. Might as well if nobody is going to see you, anyway. You curled up under the bedsheet, not bothering to sleep under the comforter, it was entirely too hot for that. You fell asleep far quicker than anticipated.

You woke with a start when you felt a hand wrap around your midriff, a voice in your ear drawling “g’night, darlin’.” Dazed, you turned yourself over to face the direction of the voice.

Joel was home.

Nothing could’ve snapped you out of your groggy state faster than the excitement of seeing him again after so long. Really, it hadn’t been long at all, but it was always such a relief having him back next to you. You clung to him, reacquainting yourself with his smell and the feel of him. Just as quickly, though, you pushed yourself up and off of him.

“You’re dirty.”

“Missed you too, sweetheart.” He pulled you back down to him, caging you in with his arms. “Don’t’cha like dirty, baby?” He laughed while you tried to wriggle yourself out of his hold.

“Like it when it’s how you’re acting, not when you’re literally caked in dirt.” You faked outrage, hitting his chest softly.

“C’mon, know you like seein’ me this way.”

And he was right, obviously. You loved seeing his hair pushed back with sweat, feeling his calloused hands against your bare back, tracing his collarbones and feeling the gravelly remnants of dirt.

“You had a good patrol, then?” You asked, finally letting yourself fall atop him, truly not caring about the dirt and sweat.

“It was alright. Uneventful. Fuckin’ hot out there, though.”

“Maybe it’s time to start wearing shorts, cowboy.”

“Yeah, that’s what everybody wants to see. My old man knees shinin’ out in the sun.”

You giggled. He traced his hands down your naked body, letting himself feel every dimple and curve.

“You got th’right idea. Nothin’ like comin’ in from the heat to see my baby stripped down for me. Should probably start doin’ the same whenever I can.” He squeezed your ass roughly, forcing a moan from your lips.

“C-can’t just walk around the commune naked, Joel. At least put some rips in your pants.”

“Mm, why walk around the commune in jeans when I could strip down with you at home, darlin’?” He delivered a smack to your ass, making you gasp. “Could just stay here all day ‘nd play with you. Make me sweat, keep me cool.” He quirked an eyebrow, tongue wetting his bottom lip before he brought your face to his with both his hands.

He tasted perfect, like the cigarettes he and Tommy swore they weren’t smoking, like whiskey, like mint, like black coffee. He licked at your bottom lip, encouraging you to open your mouth and let his tongue in. You felt him sweep the inside of your mouth, spit mingling and teeth clacking together as the kiss intensified. Without separating himself from you, Joel sat up, grabbing you by the hair and biting your bottom lip.

“Gonna be good f’me?” He still had you by the hair as he started to undo his belt. “Gonna show daddy what you missed so much while I was gone?”

“Wanna show you, please Joel.”

He pulled your hair tighter into his fist, and you let out a high pitched sound.

“You can do better than that, baby. Try again.”

“Please daddy, I wanna show you what I missed!”

“Atta girl.”

He pulled his belt from the loops on his jeans in one swift motion, undoing his button and fly just as fast. You could see the bulge that had grown in his jeans, and your mouth watered at the sight.

“You wanna be good?” Joel pulled your head back so that you were looking into his eyes. “You gotta work for what you want, baby. You know that.” He laughed when your hands flew to his crotch, shoving the denim down his hips and doing the same to the boxers he was wearing. You took his hard length in your hands; no matter how long you had been together, no matter how many times he let you have it, you were consistently amazed by how big he was. He was long, thick, heavy in your hands, and it just spurred you on further to show him how good you could be.

“Spit.” He still had a fist in your hair, and he held you above the tip of his cock. You did as you were told, letting your spit drip from his tip, down his shaft. He made you repeat the action once more before letting you move your hands.

“Good girl, jerkin’ daddy off so good.” He groaned when you dropped a hand to his balls, your other hand working his full length. His back arched slightly when you gave his balls a squeeze, moving your hand to focus on the head of his cock. He released you from his grip.

“Open your mouth, baby, give your daddy a show, huh?” You jumped at the chance, shuffling down his body and lowering your face between his hips. You kept one hand working up and down his shaft and took as much as you could in your mouth, flicking your tongue against his most sensitive spots.

“Fuck, good girl. Gonna make me cum if you keep going like that. Fuck!” You took his rambling as an opportunity to take as much of him as you could down your throat. Suddenly, his hand was back in your hair, pulling you off of him. A string of your saliva kept you connected to his cock, dripping from your puffy lips.

Joel brought your face back up to his, catching you in a heated kiss. You felt him bite your bottom lip, your own tongue tasting the inside of his mouth. He broke away for just long enough to flip you onto your back. He stood over you, pulling his jeans off completely and staring down at you hungrily.

“Y’out here sayin’ you don’t like dirty. You got such a mouth on you, baby, y’know it’s not good to go ‘round lyin’.” He pulled you towards him by your ankles, letting your legs fall over the edge of the bed before he kneeled in front of you and hiked them up on his shoulders. “See how I know you were lyin’?” He wasted no time showing you, pushing a thick finger into your cunt. “Drippin’ baby, fuckin’ soaked. S’all for daddy, isn’t it, sweetheart?” You moaned at the sudden intrusion. Just one of Joel’s fingers was enough to make you lose control completely. He twisted it inside you, pumping in and out slowly.

“Tell me it’s for daddy.”

“I—it’s all for, it’s all f—for daddy!” You gasped when you felt another one of his fingers exploring your slit, using your wet to force itself in beside his other finger.

“S’what I thought.” He curled his fingers, bringing his mouth down to your clit and sucking hard. You let out a scream of his name. He only sucked harder, letting the bundle of nerves go with a pop.

“Cum on my fingers, baby. C’mon now, give it to me.” You felt his fingers, still curled, start rubbing against the spongy spot inside of you. Your walls began to clench around his fingers, his mouth once again finding a pace on your clit. You came around his fingers with a jumbled mixture of gasps and screams, barely registering how he talked you through it.

“Good fuckin’ girl, that’s it. Yeah, show daddy what a good girl you are.” Joel placed another kiss on your clit, slowly slipping his fingers out of you. Though your mind was still foggy from the orgasm he had just given you, you whined at the sudden emptiness. When he stood above you again, you reached your arms up for him. He smiled down at you, bending over to kiss your forehead and then your lips.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, not done yet.” He straightened himself out a little, placing a knee on the bed next to you. You reached out to brush your fingers over his thigh. God, he was so muscular. You suppose, for all the walking he did, he should be, but still. Your legs were once again over his shoulders, now above you as he loomed over your naked figure. He took his cock in his hand, stroking himself as he lined himself up with your still dripping slit.

“Daddy’s gonna give you more baby, don’t worry.” You felt the tip of his cock nudge your clit before he lowered himself into your pussy. You both groaned at the contact; the squeeze of your cunt around his thick cock felt like heaven for each of you.

Once fully inside of you, Joel dropped the leg that had bed resting on the bed back to the ground, and pressed his body to yours, chest to chest. He pulled out till just his head was still resting in your pussy, before snapping his hips forward, shoving himself completely back into you, punching the air from your lungs.

“Missed this pussy,” he breathed out shakily, keeping a harsh pace, “missed feelin’ your tight fuckin’ cunt wrap around me like this.”

“Missed you so much, missed daddy’s cock—fuck!” He had your arms above your head now, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples and slowing his strokes slightly, continuing to fuck you deep. You rubbed your hips into his own, desperate for as much friction as you could get. He felt you bucking your hips, laughing at your desperation.

“Poor lil’ baby, such a needy fuckin’ pussy.”

“Dadd—y, need it!”

“Watch your mouth, darlin’, I’m givin’ it to you, ain’t I? Remember who you’re speakin’ to,” he sped up his thrusts, making your tits bounce while you lay back taking it. “Need some fuckin’ manners, baby.”

“I—fuck!—Please daddy, need to cu—m on your cock. Please!” You were begging, he had you exactly where he wanted you. Fucked out and messy, your hair sticking to your forehead and your slick dripping down his cock to your thighs. He loved when you got desperate. Fuck, he had missed you. He had been gone two, maybe three days, and all he could think about was coming home to you. One of his hands came down between your legs, fingers attaching to your clit. You arched your back, moaning, inviting him to touch you where you needed him most. He massaged your bud in tight, neat circles, his fingers moving faster than his thrusts.

He was fucking merciless.

“Can feel that pussy getting’ tighter on me. Y’gonna cum for me again, baby? Gonna cover daddy’s cock in your pretty fuckin’ juices?” His thrusts were beginning to speed up, and within a few more seconds of him fucking you senseless and talking you up (“Good girl, good girl gonna soak daddy’s big cock. That’s right, beautiful, make a fuckin’ mess on me.”) you were cumming hard around him. You grabbed at him, pulling him down onto you while he continued to push his cock deeper into you.

“That’s right, my fuckin’ girl. So good baby, tha’s it.” You scratched your nails down his back, legs shaking as you wrapped them around him. His thrusts became sloppy, nearing his high. You took it upon yourself to gain back a teeny bit of control.

“Cum, daddy, please. Want you to fill me up, want daddy’s cum.” He growled in your ear, fucking into you harder.

“Yeah? Want daddy to full this cunt with my fuckin’ load, baby?”

“Please, yes please,” you begged, still trembling from your own high.

“Gonna give it to you, sweetheart, gonna—shit, gonna fill you up so nice and deep—” He cut himself off with a deep thrust and a loud groan. You felt the warm spurts of his cum deep inside you, moaning at the sensation. He moaned, dropping himself down onto you. You stayed like that for as long as you could; his cock softening inside you, his full body weight pressing you into the springs of the old mattress, your breathing heavy. It was perfect.

“I missed you so much,” Joel panted out, still catching his breath. “M’sorry for comin’ home dirty. ‘Nd late.” He pushed himself up off of you, now mostly-soft cock sliding out of you, turning to lie on his back. You crawled up to him, lying on your side as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. You could feel his cum and yours dripping down the curve of your thigh and onto the mattress.

“You know I don’t mind. I know you’re out there keeping us all safe. You’re good at it.” You kissed his jawline. “Plus, means I get to welcome you back like this.” He smiled, letting you continue trailing kisses wherever you could reach.

“Just hate leavin’ you.”

“I know you’ll always come back home to me.”

He looked down at you, still smiling. You’ll never get used to seeing Joel Miller smile, but you’ll always love how he looked doing it. He kissed your forehead, pushing the hair out of your face before taking your chin in his hand and leaning you up to kiss him.

“I’ll always come back.”

[daechwitatamic]

I. Your Wild-Running Heart || KNJ

(banner by @/itaeewon)

Title: My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni

Genre: college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, the absolute slowest of burns

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader, unrequited Taehyung x reader

Beta'd by @/kookstempo, @/casuallyimagining, and @/toikiii - thank you endlessly!

Summary: You know a lot about the many types of love thanks to Kim Taehyung. You love him as the only person you see as “family”, you love him as your very best friend, and you love him as the beautiful, funny man he’s become. But when a twist of fate during your senior year has you rooming with his good friend Kim Namjoon, you just might find that you have plenty left to learn about love. 

Lesson One: there are such things as a right way and a wrong way to love and to be loved.

//

When your roommate bails last-second and leaves you completely in a bind for the new school year, your best friend Taehyung mentions that his friend Namjoon needs a place off-campus, too.

Section Warnings: language

WC: 7k

The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold. - Journey | Edna St. Vincent Millay

Friday August 28 

“Please, no,” you beg. “Please tell me this is a joke. I can’t live with a man. Do you know what men are like?”

Taehyung, quite a specimen of man last time you checked, cocks an eyebrow at you. “Y/N,” he says flatly. “You’re doing it again.”

It meaning being dramatic, and you resent that implication.

You whine, shuffling your feet unhappily. “But Tae,” you say - okay, you whine. “If my roommate is a guy, then I have to wear a bra in the apartment, like, all the time.”

“Oh my god,” he says, throwing his hands in the air, completely over you. “Do you want my help or not? What are your other options right now?”

How nice of him to ask. 

You’d been so excited to lease an apartment off-campus for your final year of university, even more excited to share it with a girl in your writing program named Penny. You hadn’t thought twice about putting the lease in only your own name, but when Penny texted you - the audacity of her to not even call - to say she wasn’t going to return in the fall after all, you were stuck with the responsibility.

So, since Taehyung asked, your options are this: pay the entire rent by yourself (impossible), or find a roommate, fast. 

“Namjoon’s a really good friend of mine,” Taehyung tries again. “I am personally vouching for him that he’s not a weirdo or a creep. His building flooded and he’s in a bind - just like you. He’s nice, he’s smart, and he’s normal.”

“What about clean?” you prod. 

Taehyung shrugs. “Cleaner than me.”

You sigh. You know Taehyung is right - you need someone quickly, and at this rate you’re bound to only find creeps. At least this guy - even though he’s a guy, which is your main issue - has been vetted.

“You’re not very clean,” you tell your best friend.

He grins at you, guilty as charged. 

“Could we talk first?” you suggest, nerves churning. “Like, can I meet him?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you. “Did you think I was going to drop the key off at his place and say ‘okay, have fun!’?”

“Maybe!” you cry, feeling a little hysterical. 

Taehyung rolls his eyes at you. “Want me to see if he can swing by the place tomorrow?”

The plan for the next day was originally for you two to load up your car through the morning, grab lunch somewhere, and then start moving your stuff into the apartment after you ate. 

“Yeah,” you answered. “That actually sounds like a good plan. Then he can see the apartment, too. And you’ll be there with me.”

“Actually a good plan,” Taehyung parrots with a scoff. “Please.”

After your lunch date, Taehyung drops you back home so you can finish packing. You’d packed a lot already - all of your big pieces of furniture were there already, your bedroom now just a mess of random piles of clothing and your bare mattress on the ground. A lot of what you still had were things you knew you’d need to use again during the days you were starting to pack - toiletries, electronics, that kind of thing. With a sigh, you turn on some music and start pulling hangers out of your closet. 

You think about your situation as you work. You’re disappointed about Penny - you’ve lost a roommate and a good friend, somehow. You’re nervous about meeting Taehyung’s friend Namjoon. You’re somehow both excited for and dreading the academic year starting - your final year, complete with a senior thesis course you’ll have to pass in June. And you’re excited for the apartment - your first one that isn’t an on-campus dorm. 

No campus security knocking on the doors, no RA going through your fridge for forbidden liquor bottles, no shared hallway bathrooms. With your own bedroom in the apartment, you’re guaranteed a space that is just yours, a sanctuary where you can have the quiet you crave and aesthetic you want, your own four walls that are completely your own. 

Taehyung’s apartment, which he shares with two friends, isn’t far from your new one - walking distance, actually. He’d offered you his couch there when Penny first bailed. But even if you took his offer, you’d be charged for breaking your lease, and you’d still have to find something more permanent - which would mean another security deposit, not to mention rent. As long as you kept the optimism that you’d successfully secure and keep a roommate, staying was the cheaper option.

You won’t talk about how you wish Taehyung would offer more than his couch.

You won’t talk about how when he’d said, “You know, you could stay with me,” in that deep, comforting voice of his, your heart had run wild. 

Then he’d continued, “That couch isn’t too bad to sleep on, I’ve done it before. And the guys wouldn’t mind. Then you’d have time to find something new, maybe something you can afford alone?”

And your wild-running heart had stuttered, stumbled, caught its footing, stood still. 

You can’t even get mad at him. He’s trying to help. It’s not his fault - at all - that he doesn’t know that your imagination leapt off a cliff at his words, was already picturing snuggling in his bed, those strong arms tight around your middle, was already picturing waking up to his sleepy smile. 

You don’t pretend for even a second that it’s anyone’s fault but your own. 

--

Around ten pm your Aunt Lin comes and knocks on your open door, looking down at the scene before her: you, sitting cross-legged on your bedroom floor, surrounded by half-closed boxes, miscellaneous items strewn around the floor around you, clothing piled up like mountains around you.

“You don’t look very ready,” she remarks.

“That’s helpful, thank you,” you say. 

Lin has raised you ever since you lost your grandmother, who had taken care of you before that. Your grandmother and Lin are the only parental figures you can really remember, but Lin’s technically only ten years your senior and has always felt more like a big sister than a mother. You can’t fault her for it; she was still quite young when she took over raising you. She certainly didn’t have to take you in, but she had, and she’d done her best. 

Lin chuckles. “Why isn’t Taehyung here helping?”

You roll your eyes. “He’s my friend, not my servant. He’s helping me move all this in tomorrow, that’s plenty.”

Lin shrugs, already disinterested. “Okay,” she says lightly. “Well, I wanted to say good luck with the move, and good luck with school this year. Let me know if you need anything.”

You look up from your packing and take in her appearance. She’s in scrubs, a huge thermos of coffee in her hand. She’s got work tonight, then, and won’t be here in the morning when Taehyung picks you up. You should have figured. 

“Thanks,” you say. 

She shifts, looking down the hall instead of at you, suddenly. Lin’s not great with emotions; it’s where you get it from.

“Okay,” she says. “I’ll see you for winter break? If not before?”

“Yeah,” you say. “Yeah. Definitely by then.”

She nods, tells you goodbye, and heads down the hallway. You hear the front door close, and you’re alone with your boxes. That’s about as mushy as it gets with Lin.

[11:44 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: what time tmrw?

[11:45 PM] You: you drive the car, you tell me

[11:51 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: 10?

[11:54 PM] You: you think that’s enough time to pack up the car and drive there before lunch?

[11:58 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: 🙄 this is why i asked YOU what time

[12:01 AM] Tae Bear 🧸: 😤

[12:02 AM] You: 9:30 

[12:03 AM] You: and bring me iced coffee 🤗 plsssss???

[12:06 AM] Tae Bear 🧸: 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[12:08 AM] You: love u tete

[12:11 AM] Tae Bear 🧸: yeah yeah love you too 

You press the top of your phone into your forehead, closing your eyes. Letting yourself pretend, for just a second, that he could mean it the way you do.

Saturday August 29

Taehyung shows up in the morning - at ten, not nine-thirty, but he has an iced coffee for you in his car, so you let him live. 

It takes you over an hour to load up the car, the boxes and suitcases and garbage bags squished together, shoved impossibly tight, the world’s most desperate game of tetris. Taehyung declares it impossible no less than five times, bemoaning that he’ll have to make the hour drive a second time in order to fit all of your shit. 

In the end, you make it happen. It just takes a little determination. 

The drive to your university is around an hour, depending on traffic. You and Taehyung both don big, goofy aviators and blast music as you sail down the highway, the backseat loaded floor to ceiling. The car is so stuffed, you even have boxes between your feet and on your lap. 

The sun shines brightly down on you as you and Taehyung sing and groove your way through the drive, and you feel… so content, so sure that this is right, that you’re meant to be next to him, like this, forever. Like everything in the universe just clicked together to give you the perfect snapshot of how things are meant to be. 

What if you said it? What if you told him? 

Sometimes, moments like now, you just can’t fathom how he doesn’t feel it too. 

But you know better. You know he doesn’t - doesn’t want to. Something deep inside you tells you to tread carefully with this best friend of yours. Something instinctual tells you that the dysfunctional friendship you’ve crafted together is a Jenga tower and if you so much as nudge the wrong brick, it’s all coming down. 

You eat lunch at a table out in front of a cafe, people watching and basking in the sunlight. It’s the last, trickling days of August, but today’s breezy and cooler. It’ll warm up again before fall comes in full force, you’re sure, but you appreciate the reprieve from the scorching heat, since you’re about to spend several hours hauling boxes up a stairwell.

After lunch, Taehyung drives to your new neighborhood and finds a street-parking spot close to the front entrance of the tall, brick building.

“Okay,” he says. “Now the fun part.”

You giggle. “Have I told you yet that I appreciate you?”

“Elaborate, please,” he says, which is so typical for him. He looks over at you, sunglasses low on his nose.

You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling. “I appreciate you helping me move in. I appreciate you driving me. I appreciate the afternoon you’re about to spend carrying boxes and shit.”

“You’re forgetting something,” he tells you sagely.

You want to whack him in the belly for being so obnoxious, but you can’t risk him dumping all your stuff on the sidewalk and fucking off to let you deal with the stairs on your own. 

“I appreciate you finding me a roommate so I don’t have to sleep on your couch,” you add.

“There we go.” Satisfied, he unbuckles, and you both get out and examine the backseat for whichever Tetris piece seems like it could be removed easiest. Arms full of boxes, you make your way up the steps to the little lobby that houses a wall of mail slots, and then up a second set of stairs to your second-floor apartment.

You set down the box you were carrying and dig out the key, opening the door to your new home.

You really do love this apartment. Through the open space - past the kitchen and through the living room - sunlight streams in through the large front windows that overlook the city block below. You can already see in your mind where you’ll put plants on low tables, or hanging from the ceiling.

You had done the big stuff days ago, with both Lin and Taehyung’s help; Lin had rented a little moving van and you’d loaded up the big furniture. From Lin’s house, you’d taken your bedframe and boxspring, leaving just the mattress in your old bedroom at Lin’s house. You’d also loaded up your low dresser, a nightstand, and two bookshelves. You’d gotten a few pieces from a local repurposing store - a desk to work at and a little swiveling chair to go with it. Your final splurge was an expensive mattress; the one in the store had felt like damn clouds. It was set to be delivered sometime this afternoon. 

You’re already looking forward to going to sleep later.

You and Taehyung try to just put boxes where they’re meant to go. Two boxes end up in your bathroom, another two in the kitchen. You split the books between your bedroom and the living room, where a lone bookshelf is the only current piece of furniture. You heave bags of clothes and linens into your closet, determined to deal with them later. 

The mattress delivery goes smoothly, the truck arriving as you and Taehyung are about halfway done unloading the car. You leave the building’s front door and your apartment door propped open and both teams do their thing: the delivery guys carrying the mattress up the steps, you and Taehyung behind them with garbage bags full of your clothes or boxes of books. 

“You,” Taehyung pants, “have way too much stuff.”

You grin sheepishly, as in the other room your new mattress is removed from its plastic wrap and placed atop your awaiting boxspring. You’re itching to dig out your linens and make the bed; that’s always what makes a room feel ready to you, even back when you were just setting up a little dorm. Once the bed was made, everything else slowly fell into place. 

Once the delivery truck rolls away, you throw yourself bodily onto the mattress, letting out a series of happy groans as you let the pillowy goodness envelop you. 

“Taehyung,” you call tantalizingly. “Come feel it.”

You hear him drop a box in the living room with an audible oof - it must have been more books - and then he comes into your new bedroom and flops sideways across the bed next to you, the mattress jumping and settling again under his weight.

“Wow,” he says, rolling on his back and then turning to look at you, his legs bending to touch the floor. “This is nice. Let’s trade, I’ll bring mine over.”

“Nope,” you say, smiling. “I bought this one with my hard-earned summer money. It’s just for me.”

“Yeah,” he says, voice wry, “for you and your guests.”

Now you do whack him in the belly. He grunts, hands covering the spot, then lays still again.

“That wasn’t nice,” he comments mildly. “No hitting.”

“What guests?” you pout. “I haven’t had a guest since–”

“Ah, spare me the Great Drought of 2022 story,” he begs. He sits up, reaching into his pocket. As his hand retracts, you realize his phone is buzzing with an incoming call.

“Bro,” he says as a greeting, and then listens. “Yeah, we’re here now. That’s fine. Sounds good. Okay.”

He taps to hang up and looks at you. “Namjoon is almost here. That’s fine, right?”

“I was right here,” you huff. “Yes, it’s fine, but you literally could have asked me.”

Taehyung ignores you. “There’s one more box. I’ll go get it, and then I’ll stay while you meet with Joon, and then I’m gonna go, okay?”

“Oh,” you say, heart sinking a little bit. You’d kind of hoped he’d stick around, just hang out and goof off while you unpacked boxes and organized your stuff. “Sure.”

He reads you like a book; he always does.

“Don’t pout,” he says, and there’s something apologetic in his tone. “I just have to do some stuff today. And I really need to shower, this got me all sweaty.”

Well, you don’t need that mental image. Luckily, you’re saved from yourself by a knock at the front door. This strikes you as so polite, because not only is Namjoon going to literally live here, but also because the door is still propped wide open.

You sit up, fixing your hair from where you laid on it. Taehyung has already made his way through the living room and is giving a one-handed bro-hug to the guy at the door. You make your way over, heart thumping. 

You notice a few things right away. He’s tall - taller than Taehyung, and you don’t see that often. His eyes are absolutely striking - there’s sharpness to them, something that makes you want to see the world how he does, something that makes you want to keep looking, something that makes you curious about how he’d see you. 

When he smiles, each cheek dimples, the perfect size for the pad of your index finger. He’s all in browns except for a pair of light-wash jeans. He’s got a dark brown beanie tugged low on his head, and even his thin, wire-frame glasses seem to be chosen for the vibe above all else.

“Hi,” you say, sounding a little shy even to your own ears. Taehyung moves out of the way and you reach to shake Namjoon’s hand. “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you. Taehyung promised me you’re normal.”

The guy lets out one big laugh, surprised. “He told me the same,” he says conspiratorially, “but really, that’s such a subjective thing.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, and you step back to let Namjoon in, preparing to show him around. 

“Kitchen and living room are here,” you say unnecessarily, since he can see for himself. “Your bedroom would be on this side.” You push open the door and Namjoon sticks his head in. The room is completely bare, the empty closet door standing open. 

“You get your own bathroom,” Taehyung points out. Namjoon nods appreciatively, still looking silently back and forth across the room that would be his as soon as you pass him a key.

“Is it okay?” you ask, suddenly feeling nervous. If this guy backs out, you’ll be back at square one, and now with less time to solve the problem.

“Oh,” he says, as if remembering he should communicate. “Yeah! It’s great.” He turns and peers at the living room, which is empty but for your lone bookshelf and several boxes of books, unopened.

“I have some stuff we can put here, if you want?” he asks, his tone a little uncertain. “Specifically, I have a couch and coffee table, plus a TV and a console to put it on. It should all fit.”

“That would be great,” you say enthusiastically. “I was already stressing out about saving up enough for a couch.”

He nods easily, looking around the room thoughtfully. Taehyung has wandered over to the large windows and is looking up at the tree that stands right outside, the branches waving lightly in the afternoon breeze. With the sunlight coming in, he looks like a painting. 

“I have a rug, too,” Namjoon muses. “Would you be interested in that?”

“Definitely,” you tell him, tearing your eyes away from Taehyung’s back. There’s something knowing in Namjoon’s face as he watches you, and you flush, feeling weirdly caught.

“Okay,” he says, “I’ll bring it. What about kitchen stuff?”

“I don’t have a ton,” you admit, pointing to the two boxes - not very big ones - that you’ve left on the kitchen counter. “If you’ve got more, that’s probably good. I don’t cook that often, to be honest. I’m not very good at it.”

Namjoon smiles at you, leaning over a little like he’s letting you in on a secret. “I can barely boil water,” he admits. “So you’re all good.”

You stand together as you discuss how you’ll be splitting the monthly costs for the utilities, not to mention the high-speed wifi that’s getting set up in two days. That leaves you to work out the rent, what day it’s due and how you want to handle paying it. In the end, you decide that he’ll electronically pay you, and you’ll pay the landlord, since it’s your name on the lease. He pays you right there on the spot, and you pass him the key that was meant for Penny.

“Is it okay if I start moving my things tomorrow?” he asks you.

You shrug. “This place is yours now, too,” you say easily. “You can honestly do what you want.”

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll probably start in the morning then?”

“I can’t promise I’ll be up,” you laugh, “but don’t let that stop you!”

“Should we…” he pauses, adjusts his glasses. “Should we exchange numbers?”

Taehyung makes a face you know well; it’s the face he makes when he wants to laugh or make fun of something, and he’s doing the Good Person Thing by keeping the thought to himself, but he wants to make sure you know by his face that he is holding it in. He wants credit for doing the Good Person Thing.

You honestly hate him sometimes. It’s the only thing keeping you from tipping straight into insanity. Sometimes, I really hate Taehyung. 

“Yes, we probably should,” you say, because someone in this room needs to act like they aren’t twelve years old, and it’s not going to be Kim Taehyung, apparently.

You do, and then Namjoon tells you both goodbye, making his way back out to the hallway and down the steps. You can hear his footsteps fall away into nothing. 

Taehyung looks at you, smiles angelically. “See?” he says. “I told you he was nice.”

He reaches for his keys on your kitchen counter. You frown, detecting his imminent departure. 

“Will you come over tomorrow?” you ask, a little pitifully. 

He considers this, and nods. “For dinner?” he suggests. 

“Yeah,” you say. “We still won’t have wifi yet. We’ll be bored.”

“Only boring people get bored,” Taehyung says sagely, holding up one finger like a wizened philosopher. Then he comes to hug you goodbye, pulling you into a sweet embrace. You want to live there, in the spot between his arms. 

Once he’s gone, you look around your new home. Alone, you decide to put on music and start tackling boxes. You start in the bathroom, finding towels so you’ll be able to shower in the morning, unpacking all your toiletries, setting up your toothbrush just so. You do the kitchen second; the sun sets outside as you find places for your battered pots and pans. 

You stop for dinner, getting take-out from a place nearby that delivers. Then you dive back in, setting up your bedroom. It feels cozy already, once the bed is made and you’ve plugged in your little lamps. Calmer, you start folding clothes to put into dresser drawers. At one point you wander out of your room to get some water and you freeze in your bedroom doorway, struck by how lonely it feels. 

The rest of the apartment is lit only by the yellow glow coming from your bedroom, plus the thin, white light that filters in from the streetlight below the living room windows. You hurry into the kitchen and turn on the light over the sink, which vanishes some of the bad feeling for you. You pour your glass of water and lean heavily on the counter, looking out at your empty living room, and the dark doorway of Namjoon’s untouched room. You wish Taehyung had come back over, or that some of your university friends had moved back into the area sooner.

You rinse your glass and head back into your room, ready to distract yourself with more unpacking until you’re tired enough to sleep.

Sunday August 30

Bumps and crashes wake you in the morning. It takes you a few minutes to figure out where you are - ah, the cloud bed, in your new room. The morning sunlight is strong; apparently the windows on the front of the apartment face the east. You make a mental note to shop for some good blackout curtains, and check your phone. Not much waiting for you - Lin texted around 1 am asking if you got settled okay, probably while she was on a quick break. You answer her, check your socials, and then lay back, just looking around. 

You got a lot done yesterday, but you still have more unpacking to do. It also occurs to you that not only is there no coffee waiting for you in the kitchen, there’s no food of any kind in the whole place, unless you count your container of leftover takeout from last night. 

You shower and get dressed, figuring it's best to stay out of the way - you can hear the grunts and huffs and loud bumps that indicate Namjoon’s got some friends helping him move things in. But eventually, the growling in your stomach and your body’s clamoring for caffeine send you out into the living room.

The low entertainment center is in place across the room from you, a flatscreen tv situated on top. There are now two stools tucked beneath the breakfast bar in the kitchen, and a pretty, wooden coffee table sits in the center of the living room.

There’s a guy on the floor surrounded by furniture pieces, a screwdriver, and a packet of instructions in his hands. You can hear a lot of shouting, bumping, and cursing floating in from the stairwell down the hall. 

“Hey,” the guy on the floor says. “You’re Y/N? I’m Namjoon’s friend, Yoongi.”

“Hi,” you say, a little bewildered. “What are you… building?”

He sighs, squinting at the paper in his hand. “It’s supposed to be a bookshelf. Eventually.”

You’re about to respond to this when the noise from outside the open door gets infinitely louder. You see Namjoon’s expansive back as he shuffles backwards through the doorway, one end of a faded, grey couch in his hands. 

“Okay, you have to turn,” he coaches whoever is on the other side.

The couch makes it through the door, and you’re surprised to see that you know the other person carrying the couch. He’s one of Taehyung’s best friends, and you’ve hung out together as a group plenty of times over the last three years.

“JayKay!” you call happily. “Welcome to my house!”

He laughs, nose scrunching with delight. “Y/N,” he crows. “Where should I put the couch?”

“Across from the tv,” Namjoon answers for you, sounding a little breathless. They shuffle through the room, and you notice for the first time that they’ve already put the rug in place, covering most of the warped, wooden floor of the living room. The couch settles over top of it, and Namjoon slides the coffee table to a more centered position.

One more guy comes through your doorway, carrying a nightstand and a lamp. He’s got quite possibly the widest shoulders you’ve ever seen. He disappears into Namjoon’s bedroom, and you hear the quiet thump as he sets the nightstand down in there.

“Wow,” you say. “You’ve got a whole moving crew.”

“Notice who’s not here helping,” Jungkook grumbles.

You smile to yourself. If you know him at all, you’ll guess Taehyung isn’t even out of bed yet. 

“In his defense,” you say, and Jungkook snorts, as if it’s so typical that you’d defend Taehyung, which… it might be, “he did a lot for me yesterday. We had his car packed with my stuff.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jungkook mutters and turns to - presumably - get more stuff from downstairs.

“You have a lot left?” you ask Namjoon, who seems to be catching his breath for a minute, perched on the arm of the couch. “I’d offer to help, but I was just about to go get groceries - there’s very literally no food here.”

“We’re about done with the heavier stuff,” he says, looking at the open door, like he’ll find an inventory there that he can reference. “But still plenty of assembling left.”

“Hooray,” Yoongi deadpans from the floor, holding the instruction packet up in the air like a different angle will help him decipher the directions.

You find your little foldable cart and make your way to the grocery store a few blocks away. By the time you’re done scouring the aisles, you’ve loaded the cart to the top and still have to carry some of the bags. But at least now you’ll have food to eat, things to drink besides tap water. 

Getting up the stairs with your groceries sucks, but you make it, panting like crazy as you finally unlock the front door and let yourself in.

You’re greeted with silence; it’s clear the guys are all gone. The living room looks completely different than twenty-four hours ago. The couch and table look great, and it seems like Yoongi’s bookshelf is mostly complete - it’s upright, just missing a few shelves near the top. You set the groceries down in the kitchen next to three unopened boxes - it seems like Namjoon’s gameplan was the same as yours yesterday: get the boxes into the appropriate rooms, do the rest later. 

You peek into his bedroom - he’s left the door all the way open, which feels nice, like he trusts you, and you make a mental note that you should probably do the same. You notice that it looks like the furniture is all in place there, too. It doesn’t differ much from yours, actually. The bedframe is put together, the boxspring and mattress leaning against the far wall. He’s also got a tall chest of drawers, a wicker hamper, and in the corner, a desk. Namjoon’s furniture is a lot more modern looking than yours, sleek and matching. You bet he didn’t get half of his from the thrift store. 

You put the groceries away and make yourself a small lunch, eating it on the couch in the quiet of the apartment. You’ve got about twenty-four hours to go until there’s wifi and you can stream shows when you’re home alone. You’re just cleaning up your lunch when you hear a key in the lock, and then the cacophony of boys’ voices as they reenter the apartment. 

“-far superior, I’m telling you,” Jungkook is saying emphatically. The smell of greasy burgers and fries hits you in the kitchen along with the sound of his voice.

“I hear what you’re saying, and I respect your opinion,” a flat voice responds that you think might belong to Yoongi. “It’s just that you’re wrong.”

“Hey,” Namjoon says, noticing you standing in the kitchen. The guys pass through, heading into the living room, Jungkook already digging in the bag. They surround the coffee table, handing out burgers and fries, filling the room with delicious smells and noisy chatter.

You take this opportunity to head back into your room, sitting on your bedroom floor and opening one of your boxes of books, starting to put them on the small shelf beneath your window. You pop in your airpods and turn on music, losing yourself in the monotonous movement of digging out a new book, then turning to place it on the shelf. Rinse, and repeat.

When you finish, you move into your closet. You put your little wire shoe rack back together and locate your box of shoes, lining them up neatly. Then, you tackle another garbage bag full of clothes that go on hangers, flapping each shirt or dress to relieve it of wrinkles before hanging it up. After that, you find a box of miscellaneous dresser items - jewelry boxes, perfume bottles, headbands - and put those where you want them, too.

By the time you decide you need to sit down and take a break, it’s nearly evening, the light outside reaching that golden hour. You really do love the natural lighting in this place. 

You take out your airpods and set them to charge, listening carefully. You’ve had your bedroom door open this whole time, but the guys had left you alone and you’d minded your own business. Now, the apartment is filled with silence again. They must be gone.

You text Taehyung for the first time that day, which strikes you as weird. He must have been busy today, too. It’s odd for you two to make it until almost dinner without speaking.

“Dinner?” you text, and then wander out into the living room. 

“Hey,” a voice says from near the floor, and you practically leap out of your skin. You startle so violently that your phone slips from your hands and clatters to the floor.

“Holy crap,” you breathe when you realize Namjoon is sitting on the floor next to his newly assembled bookshelf, an open box of books before him. He seems to be sorting them into piles before putting any on the shelf.

“Sorry,” he says, eyes wide. “I didn’t mean to--”

“No, you’re fine,” you assure him. “I’m just… a jumpy person. You’ll get used to it.”

You watch him sort books for a minute, then eye your own empty bookshelf, your boxes still closed on the ground next to it. You decide if it’s Bookshelf Hours, you might as well, right? You set your phone on the coffee table and settle in, opening your first box and starting to place books on the bottommost shelf.

“So,” you say, because it feels weird to be sitting four feet from your new roommate and not speaking, “Taehyung said you’re a grad student at the university?”

Namjoon nods wordlessly, eyes on the books he’s sorting. “Yep,” he says finally. “And you’re a senior?”

“Mhm,” you confirm. 

After that scintillating conversation, you both lapse into silence as you work. You continue like that for some time - long enough to reach the middle shelf - before you realize you hear your phone buzzing on the table. You stretch to reach for it, missing how Namjoon glances sideways at you, at how an inch of your stomach is revealed as you lean over. 

“Hi,” you say, pressing the phone to your ear.

“Took you long enough to answer,” Taehyung gripes.

“Sorry,” you say. “We were putting books away.”

Taehyung’s silence is just one beat too long. “We, huh?”

You laugh, once. “I mean? That’s what each of us is doing? So? Yeah?” From his spot a few feet away, Namjoon glances over his shoulder, frowning slightly.

“Anyway,” you say, “dinner? Do you want to come over?” 

“Yes,” he says decisively. “Order us something and I’ll head over?”

“Sure,” you say, already hanging up. You don’t need to ask what he wants; no matter where you order from, you know what he likes. 

“Do you want to order with us?” you ask Namjoon mildly as you scroll through the local delivery app. “I was thinking pizza.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says slowly, like he was deep in thought and has to process what you’d said to him. “That would be nice. Thanks.”

The place you’d order from back when you lived in the dorms is actually closer to this apartment than campus, which is the most beautiful, serendipitous thing that’s ever happened in your life. You place the order for delivery and continue putting your books away. Once all the books are on shelves, you’re essentially done - finally, after two days - unpacking. 

This gives you exactly one whole day to relax before you have to start going to classes again.

Taehyung arrives before the pizza, knocking on the door in a silly rhythm. You pound back on your side of the door, echoing his rhythm, before opening it, greeting him with a big smile. You’d missed him; of course you had.

“Wow,” he says, genuinely impressed, as he peers around you. “It looks so much different in here.”

“Right?” you ask, filled with joy. Taehyung pokes his head into the kitchen, which is arguably the least “ready” room, as aside from putting your things into drawers and cupboards, neither you nor Namjoon had really done much to it. No hand-towels hanging by the sink, no magnets on the fridge, even the counters were empty, save for the two sets of keys resting there. Taehyung adds his own to the key pile and moves into the living room, which is much more impressive.

“Hey, man,” Namjoon says from the floor. It seems like he’s done sorting his books into piles and has started actually putting them on shelves now. “Looks good, right?”

“It does,” Taehyung answers from the doorway of Namjoon’s room, where he's peeking nosily. “The guys helped you?”

“Everyone except you and Jimin,” Namjoon says innocently. 

Taehyung smiles guiltily. “I helped Y/N the entire day before, just the two of us,” he argues. “And what about Hobi? He’s on--”

“--on vacation with his parents,” Namjoon finishes agreeably, “so he’s off the hook. Where was Jimin?”

“Where do you think Jimin was?” Taehyung scoffs, reaching down and touching the rug absently.

“Sleeping,” you and Namjoon say at the same time, both of your voices wry. You smile at him, and he looks away. 

The pizza arrives and you all sit around the coffee table to eat. Conversation flows better with Taehyung in the mix; he talks so much, it almost doesn’t matter if anyone else does. 

“I was thinking of making a list of things we need for the apartment that wouldn’t necessarily belong to either of us - cleaning supplies, stuff like that,” Namjoon says to you. “I thought I could buy it and we could split the cost?”

“Buy the cheap stuff,” Taehyung advises. “Y/N’s summer money is gonna go fast, especially the way she orders out instead of cooking.”

“Thank you, Taehyung,” you say flatly, shooting him a look. “I start work in like two days. I can handle it.”

After the pizza’s done, Namjoon goes back to working on his bookshelf, obviously wanting to clear the floorspace of his book piles sooner rather than later. You and Taehyung sprawl across the couch opposite each other, his feet resting near your elbow, both of you on your phones. 

You stay like that until nearly midnight, talking occasionally but mostly just happily coexisting in your own little bubbles. At some point, Namjoon finishes the bookshelf and wanders into his bedroom, pausing to look at you two on the couch before disappearing. He pushes his door almost shut, leaving it open a few inches. You hear the subtle sounds of music playing from behind the door, but not loud enough to discern what it is. 

Taehyung hugs you before leaving, and you snuggle into the embrace, body exhausted from the moving process. He rests his chin on top of your head, swaying you around a little bit. 

“Thanks for helping me,” you murmur into his chest. Sometimes the only time you can get Taehyung to be serious for a conversation is when you’re like this; in each other’s arms, your walls come down - in his case, deflecting with humor and sarcasm, brushing off everything like it’s a big joke. In yours, saying what you really mean, and not a more delicate version of it.

“You’re welcome,” he answers, squeezing you a little. “I’m glad everything worked out. It really does look good in here. And I think you guys will get along.” 

Once he leaves, you deadbolt the front door and head to the kitchen to wash the plates and cups you’d used for pizza. Behind you, you hear the squeak of door hinges, and Namjoon pads into the kitchen behind you. He pauses, scanning the cupboards.

“I don’t remember which one I put my cups in,” he laughs a little, and then starts opening each one until he finds what he needs. Once he has a glass, he rummages in the fridge, taking out a juice carton and filling his glass about halfway. You finish washing the last plate and turn the water off, rummaging through a drawer for a dish towel to dry everything.  

“So…” Namjoon says between sips of juice. “You two are pretty close, huh?”

“Yeah,” you say, shrugging easily. “He’s my best friend.”

Namjoon hums, nods, purses his lips thoughtfully. If you knew him better, you’d push - ask him what that face means, or why he’d asked in the first place. 

But, you don’t need to. You know already. You’re used to being interrogated by others about your relationship with Taehyung. Sometimes people are trying to see if you’re a threat in their quest to worm their way into Taehyung’s heart (or pants) - and in your own weird way, you kind of are, at least for the former. 

Taehyung definitely sleeps around, but he’s surprisingly tight-lipped with you about it. You’re not sure if he’s sparing you, or he’s actually just a gentleman. Could go either way. But when Taehyung considers dating someone - rare, to say the least - he always has you vet them first. You never like any of them, surprise surprise. 

You’re used to girls approaching you in bathrooms, sometimes aggressively, sometimes meekly, to ask if Taehyung’s your boyfriend. You’ve had girls come apologize, saying they “didn’t know about you”. Once you’d had a girl nearly shove you down a staircase for talking to “her man”, but luckily, said man was walking next to you and helped shut the whole thing down. (You two had had a serious talk after that one about communicating with his partners about his relationship status. Things have never gone that far again, to date.)

Less frequently, you’ll get asked about Taehyung by guys who are interested in you, who are trying to figure out how much of a lost cause it is. That one’s a little trickier. How do you tell the cute guy at the coffee shop that no, you’re not dating Taehyung, but you are secretly so in love with him that it really isn’t worth their time? 

Anyway, usually you just tell guys that you’re not dating Taehyung but that you’re not interested in dating anyone. It usually does the trick. It’s not that far from the truth, either.

That leaves the last category of people who ask about you two, and this is where you feel Namjoon falls: the people who watch your weird, boundary-pushing friendship and are just genuinely curious how it could possibly work. 

And you get it, you really do. You know how this looks from the outside. Hell, you’re sure that from the outside it’s fairly obvious how gone you are for him. Is it just as obvious to the outside that he sees you more like a sister than anything datable? 

Probably.

You’ve had friends ask you what keeps you around. You always say the same thing - regardless of your feelings for him, he’s also your absolute best friend.

Your friendship is precious to you, sacred. It sometimes feels like the only thing you have, in a life where you generally don’t have much. Your family is Lin - that’s it, end of the road. Your girlfriends are nice, but Penny was the closest you had and she’s across the country now. You only have Taehyung. And what you have with him, as special as it is, it’s also precarious. 

If you lose him, it isn’t just that you’ll lose him - and trust, that would be devastating - it’s also that you would be deeply alone. 

Finished with the dishes, you bid Namjoon goodnight and head back into your room for the night, planning to change into pajamas and wait for Taehyung to text you that he made it home safely, wait for Taehyung to text you goodnight. Namjoon murmurs goodnight, but you feel his calculating gaze on your back until you close your door softly behind you.

Next ->

Thank you so much for reading! I started writing this in August, it feels amazing to finally postttttt. Please consider some type of feedback - I'd love to hear anything you want to share! Section II will post on Friday, January 27th - hope to see you there!

[tiredmetalenthusiast]

To Start Anew (TF141xLATA!Reader) Ch.5 Pt.1

Hey ya’ll! So chapter 5 is gonna be in 2 parts! Tryin to keep them to at least 900 words (So it doesn’t get so long I start hating it lol). Enjoy!

Warnings: Language, honestly reader is just really depressed and trying to handle it, working through grief and anger slowly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the guys continued to sit around by the pool and relax, they are met by other’s staying in the hotel, getting plenty of looks from a group of women on a girl’s trip. A few of them openly flirt with Gaz and Johnny, Simon and Price getting dragged into a game of chicken with a few others.

They even have a good laugh as they watch Price get hit on by a grandma, he indulges her as she flirts with him, eventually thanking him for making her feel young again and indulging an old woman before she takes her leave to go watch her shows. The day grows darker and Johnny has acquired a group of girls that are hanging on his every word as Kyle is chatting up 2 women at once, Simon is practically ignoring the young woman next to him as she yaps his ear off about her life.

”Right then. Price I’m heading up, getting close to dinner.” Simon removes himself from the woman practically wrapped around his arm, towel around his neck as he begins his trek back to their room. “Och shite, right ladies sorry to run but the stomach calls.” They complain loudly but he catches up to Simon after grabbing his stuff, Gaz excusing himself too after both women kiss his cheeks, Price following right behind. “So where to Ghost? Any place good around here?”

Johnny and Simon chat about where to eat while Gaz and Price discuss plans for tomorrow. “So what’s next Cap? Hiking or more swimming?” Price thinks about it for a moment, “A hike might do us some good. We can check the map of the place when we get to the room.” Gaz nods looking over his shoulder for a second. “Think we should invite her? Might do her some good too.” Johnny decides now to chime in as Simon opens the door to the room. “Awe you gettin sweet on the poor woman Gaz?”

Gaz rubs the back of his neck, “I mean she’s fuckin gorgeous and a gorgeous woman shouldn’t have to experience a place like this by herself. Besides I’ve seen the goo goo eyes you’ve been making at her, mate. I don’t wanna hear it from you.” Gaz laughs as Johnny’s cheeks turn pink, “Aye she is a Bonnie lass. Shame she’s here alone and miserable.” Price clears his throat as they all start changing to go eat.

They opted for dinner at the hotel tonight, conversation was made and jokes were thrown around. They all four seemed to be scanning the restaurant, the vigilance not lost on them, it was becoming increasingly obvious that their new female friend was on their minds.

Alas she was nowhere to be seen but they did end up seeing her sitting by the pool. Looking as relaxed as she could sitting with her feet in the pool and drink in hand. She waved when she saw them and they decided to sit with her, because like Gaz said, a gorgeous woman shouldn't have to experience this place alone.

-After dinner-Reader's pov-

“Bit late for a swim isn't it, luv?” she shrugs and sips her drink. “Ah maybe? I don't know. I mean it's 5 somewhere right?” There's a huff of a laugh from them as they sit around with her. “Maybe jus dinnae try ta swim. Might be sharks in the pool.” Johnny puts his hands up as you give him a deadpan look before rolling her eyes.

“Maybe I can feed my ex to the sharks. Do you think they'd eat him or is he too rotten?” There's a small silence before you backtrack and begin furiously apologizing, hand pressed to your forehead. “Jesus fucking christ. I'm sorry guys, I really am. I don't wanna keep dumping all of that on you.” “You went through a bad experience during what was supposed to be the happiest day of your life. You're allowed to be furious and sad.” You turn to face Price, “I know that, but that doesn't mean everyone else has to hear about it. This is my problem to deal with, not you guys’.”

You down the rest of your drink and hold the glass in your lap, fingers gently drumming on it. “Well I'm guessing your family and friends are being supportive since they witnessed it with you, but are they actively telling you not to talk about it? Because that'd be pretty fucked up.” You shake your head and sigh, “No one is trying to silence me about it so no worries there. It's just that like, I still feel as though we're not close enough for me to be trauma dumping on you guys. We literally only just met for fucks sake!” You shake as a breeze blows over you all, mad at yourself for forgetting a jacket.

You stand, glass in hand as you sway a bit. “Uh anyway I'll just be heading back. Goodnight guys…sorry for all the whining. That's all I've done since I've met you all, so feel free to just stop me and change the subject or whatever.”

“No Bonnie. You complain as much as ye wan, it's your right! Everyone else can fuck off, these aren't their feelings they're your's and you should feel them.” You stare at Johnny, now towering over you with the others standing behind him. You feel the hot tears beginning to fall as a sob fights to leave your throat, “Good job Johnny, you’ve gone and made the poor woman cry.” He rushes over, apologies on his now pouting lips. “Shh sh sh! No bonnie! Dinnae cry I didn’t mean to!”

”Alright time to get you back to  your room. Let’s go.” Johnny wraps an arm around your waist to steady you as Price and Gaz use the flashlights on their phones to light the way. It took A minute but eventually they had gotten you back to your room and another getting you in because you were having trouble with the key. Once they got you in Johnny sat you on the bed while Gaz went looking for aspirin and Simon to get you a glass of water. “Did you eat before you started drinking?” You turn to look at Price and nod. “Yeah I had dinner at a little place outside of the hotel.”

You watch him nod as you wipe tears from your cheeks, sniffling before running a hand through your hair and taking the aspirin and water Gaz and Simon offered you. “Thank you.” Your voice sounds small and tired, a total 180 from what the guys are used to. They wait patiently as you down the meds and water, sobering up only slightly. The guys pull up chairs around you and share looks as you rub at your face, thankful you took your makeup off before deciding to get drunk by the pool.

”Sooo…Uh, any plans for tomorrow?” You shake your head. “Wanna come on a hike with us? They have trails around the resort we can travel through.” Your eyes show interest and hesitation, “I mean if you guys are cool with it? I brought hiking boots and clothes but wasn’t sure if I would go…” “Can I just say something real quick?” A quirked eyebrow is all Price receives as an answer. “As lovely as this room is, you did come here to have fun. We may not know your family but I can suspect your parents and his won't be too thrilled to hear you stayed pent up in the room the entire trip.”

The silence spans too long in the seconds after Price speaks those words. “You’re absolutely right. They wouldn’t be too happy to find out all I’ve done is mope around and complain to people I don’t even know.” “Trust us when we say we’d rather hear you complain about it, than have to sit through another meeting. What happened to you was terrible, luv. Don’t let it fester.” “Thank you guys. I know we’re not like friends or anything, but I appreciate your kind words. Uh, what time were you thinking of going hiking?”

Gaz pulls out a paper and looks at the map and times the trails open, “How’s 10 sound? We could go for breakfast and then head out.” You nod and look at the clock, bold read numbers flashing 12:30 across it’s screen. “Oh jeez it’s so late. Yeah that sounds lovely! Might wanna get to bed then so we can wake up on time.” “Aye good point Bonnie. Time for bed then.” The guys bid you goodnight before you decide to shower and settle in, making sure to set an alarm to wake up by at least 8.

Taglist: @cumikering @catmouseggy @hearmesingoutfromthelostandfound

[icarus-suraki]

It was a rainy Monday night when she came up to my office. I saw her silhouette on my frosted pebbled glass door and I knew this was going to be trouble.

They don't make frosted pebbled glass doors like they used to. I had to source this one specially. I cut the door to fit it in myself. The landlord didn't like that but he doesn't understand aesthetics. Same reason I keep my blinds half-open all the time for those angular and linear shadows: aesthetics.

I put the decals for my name up on the door too: Harry Cross, Researcher. The letters were backwards for me on account of being inside my office: ɿɘʜɔɿɒɘƨɘЯ ƨƨoɿƆ γɿɿɒH

Then the letters were ||||| ||||| ||||||| when she opened the door.

"Hello, Hodie," she said.

"Hodie" is what they call me if they know me: Harry "Hodie" Cross. It was a long-ago yesterday that I got that nickname. I'll tell you why tomorrow.

"Hey, kid," I said.

You could call her a leggy blonde. Blondes come in only a couple of flavors in these kinds of stories: icy and honey. But she wasn't a blonde. She was pretty leggy, though, considering she had two of them. She'd be leggier if she had more but you take what you can get. So you could call her a leggy blonde if you wanted but I'm not about to. She was maybe somewhere between 17 and 43 and she looked like she had a lot on her mind. I'm telling you all this for your benefit; she's my cousin so don't get any ideas.

She took my hat off the rack and put it on as she walked over on those two legs; the hat looked better on her than on me.

"How're your brothers?" I asked.

"Fighting," she said as she sat down on the other side of my desk.

"Too bad," I said.

She shrugged. "It happens every night."

This kid here, Issy, she's got two brothers, Shem and Shaun and they've each got a share of the city. Shem's got a lock on the stationery business in this town and Shaun's got a mail delivery racket going. It never ends with those two and sometimes I think Issy just plays referee when they're brawling.

I kicked my feet up on the desk. "So what brings a girl like you to a nice place like this? The rain? The park? Other things?"

"I need you to find someone for me, Hodie."

"Yeah?" I lit another datura cigarette. I couldn't find the one I'd just had in my hand. "Who?" I lost my cigarette again.

"Ellmann."

I gave her a look. Two-ells-two-enns Dicky Davy Ellmann was another big man in this town, but for the right reasons. He was smart; he knew his stuff, and if he didn't know, he knew how to find out. A regular tome, that guy.

I found another datura cigarette in my hand and lit it. "With that blue and black jacket of his, he should be easy to find." I paused for a second. "You don't think he's…I guess some people would call it 'recycled'?"

"I don't think he's in the box."

We all know the old cardboard box where you end up when it's time to leave the city of letters.

"Still in the old place, then, huh? Why're you looking for him?"

"Because of this."

She slid a Tumblr post across the desk towards me:

I read it and gave a low whistle.

"I need to know if it's true, Hodie. And if anyone's going to know, it's Ellmann and nobody knows where he is."

I leaned back in my chair, which I also had to source specially as a vintage piece since the aesthetics demand something other than a pink gamer chair in this establishment, and kept looking at the post.

"Why not just ask the usual crowd?"

"With Artie out there causing trouble?"

She was right: Artie Intel was a thorn in everyone's side these days. He liked to talk but only about three words of what he said were true. It was all good language but it was all wrong--not even fiction, just plain wrong. Real gift o' the gab with this one. And a town like this might run on fiction but sometimes you just need facts. The problem was that people were starting to listen to old Artie and starting think what he was saying was making sense.

"Hodie, please?" she said. "You've got a nose like a bloodhound."

"It's not that big."

"You got droopy eyes, though."

She had me there.

"And droopy ears."

That was maybe going too far.

"All right," I said. "I'll take the case."

"I knew you would, Hodie. And I know you'll find him."

I tossed the post back onto the desk. "When I set out to find somebody I find 'em. That's why they pay me."

[smolwritingchick]

Helping Taehyung Cook

Ah okay another request done. This is a brainstorm of when Jennie helps Taehyung prepare for Jinny's Kitchen.

-----

"Okay, make sure it's seasoned well. We do not do unseasoned chicken up in here," Jennie advised as she watched Taehyung season the chicken.

Taehyung giggled at how serious she sounded.

"You think I'm playin'? I am so serious!" she giggled.

"I know you are! You've explained it plenty of times,"

Here they stood in the kitchen of Jennie's shared apartment with Jungkook as she monitored how he was preparing the chicken while the oven preheated. 

"Are you free to do this tomorrow, too?" He asked, hopeful as he placed the chicken in a pan.

"We have...what? Like a week or so before you go on the show? We can practice every day if you want. I'm free,"

His eyes lit up. "I owe you, big time,"

"Tae, I got you, always," she said as he smiled and kissed her temple.

"Still, I appreciate you doing this for me,"

"Anytime. Okay, put that in the oven. Let's start the Bulgulgi Kimbap. I have everything on the counter. Let's wash our hands first,"

After they got situated and finished washing their hands, Jennie began to demonstrate while he carefully followed her movements. The first order of business was to season the rice that had finished cooking as she pointed out to him that a little went a long way. Then she watched him cook the beef and eggs.

"Remember not to use too much salt. A pinch," she gently advised and watched as he followed her instructions.

He appreciated how she used a gentle tone with him and remained patient whenever he made a mistake. 

After the food was finished, he had his sheet of seaweed while she had hers as they neatly put rice on it along with the rest of the ingredients.

"All right, let's roll it up," she announced as they began to roll up the seaweed.

Once everything was complete, they cut the rolls into slices, with his looking a little uneven but still putting in the effort. 

"Tada! Great for a first attempt! Let me try yours," she requested.

"Here you are," he fed her a piece and she nodded in approval, enjoying the taste.

"Outstanding! Right amount of everything. I like it,"

"Yay!" he cheered and began dancing around the kitchen causing her to laugh and join in the fun.

"Still at it?" Jungkook asked as he walked out of the bedroom, preparing to go to the gym.

Seeing them dancing, he let out a laugh and watched as Taehyung presented the plate of food they just made.

"Yeah! You want to try it? Ennie said it was pretty good,"

"If you have her teaching you, you're in good hands. Let me have a piece," he walked over to them.

After trying a bite, he nodded and smiled. 

"Good job, hyung," he praised.

"Yay~!" Taehyung cheered again and high fived Jennie.

"I'll be back, later. See you two!" Jungkook kissed her goodbye and left.

As Jennie and Taehyung continued to cook, he brought up, "Remember when we cooked during Rookie King? Namjoon Hyung and you were the judges?"

"Oh my gosh," she laughed at the memory. "I remember! I miss those days. That show was so chaotic. Who knew what time could do for your cooking? You're doing great so far,"

"You think so? Thank you,"

"Of course! Thinking about it, I just hated how people would be so mean about your cooking skills over the years. It always bothered me when people would talk so negatively about you making stuff,"

"Ah, it's okay, Ennie,"

"I know but still...everyone starts somewhere. And it is never too late to learn a skill. You'll prove a lot of people wrong when you attend the show. I want you to have fun while you're there and also don't forget the best ingredient of all when cooking. As cliche as it might be, it's always my number one. Make your food with love,"

"Ah..." he grinned and felt his eyes began to water. "You always know what to say to keep me grounded. I love that. Putting love into your food,"

"How long have we've known each other, now?" she giggled. 

"Very long. And I hope it lasts forever. I'm happy I walked down that hallway to find you practicing,"

"Me too. Deep down I did feel a little bit lonely when I first came to Seoul as a trainee. The other girls were all right but I really wanted to make my first friend and then you came along. You found me practicing in that practice room. You were the one that spoke up first and made me feel like I was the most interesting person ever,"

"You are. That transition from America was not easy but you made it all work out,"

"It was difficult but you made the transition to Seoul much easier with your fun tours and recommended restaurants. Now look at us. The 8 of us. It's crazy. But I'm happy to have the 7 of you with me on this amazing journey in life. I'm happy you are my best friend and have been there to help me through my highs and lows,"

After reminiscing on the past and how happy things are currently with Bangtan, the two took a snack break.

"Thank you for being patient with me during our lesson. I really need that. I'll think of you when I cook. And when I'm on the show and begin making the food, I'll think about your sweet words to me and your advice. Each dish I make will be full of V's love!"

Her smile widened. "I'm glad. I'm proud of you, Taehyung. You've improved a lot in your cooking. I see it and taste the difference,"

He grinned happily. "All thanks to you,"

"And your amazing learning ability!" she added as he pulled her in for a tight hug.

"You want to stay for dinner?" she asked as they pulled away.

"Yeah, I'll stay. Can I help you cook dinner?"

"Of course! I think having a second opinion on your cooking will help, too. So let's see about Kookie's thoughts on what you make,"

"Sounds like a plan!"

[solradguy]

I know Aria and Frederick weren’t married, so I don’t like calling her his wife, but at the same time I don’t like calling her his girlfriend because it sounds like they weren’t as serious as they were (to my ear).

Is fiancé right? Did Aria say yes to Frederick?? I thought you might know.

(I call Jack-O’ and Sol partners, because it’s not specifically romantic and more denotes their attachment)

Begin uses 恋人 to refer to their relationship, which just means like "partner [romantic]." I ended up translating it as "girlfriend" in the context it was used in^1, but I think maybe I should have used "partner" instead, since that more accurately matches the vagueness of 恋人, which can be used to mean anything from "girl/boyfriend" to "wife/husband."

The scene in Strive where Frederick proposes to Aria with the ring hologram cuts off before we hear Aria's answer^2:

[It's Aria's birthday and Frederick had asked her to meet him somewhere. He's working on a holo-screen and Aria picks on him for writing something in old machine code and accidentally spoils the surprise, so Frederick just shows her what it was supposed to be] Aria: ...A ring. Frederick: Well... Yeah. Aria: A digital one. Frederick: Yeah, sorry. The real one wasn't quite ready in time. [She looks away.] Did I... screw things up? Aria: [shakes her head] ...Frederick. If I were to vanish from this world, what could I leave behind for you? Frederick: What? Hey, don't talk like that. It's bad luck. Aria: I promise you, no matter what happens, I'm never going to forget this day. ...But I want to leave you something to remember, too. Frederick: All right, then. Let's see... How about your hat? Aria: My hat? Frederick: Yeah. The forecast said it was gonna be overcast the whole day. [points at the sky] You gotta be some kinda eccentric to wear a hat on a day like today. Aria: ...Wow, way to kill the mood. Frederick: ... Aria: But, sure. If it can help you remember this moment; you and me, together under the cloudy sky... Then my hat is all yours. And maybe that way... I can always be by your side. Frederick: ...

The cutscene doesn't show a date and we don't know Aria's birthday, but she doesn't seem haggard like she does in all the stuff we've gotten that takes place when the stuff in Begin happens (late-ish 2016^1). Xrd Sign confirms Aria had something going on in 2015, too^3. In 2014, when the Gear Project was started, Frederick accidentally hurts Aria's feelings by not saying he'd spend time with someone he loved if the world was going to explode^4:

[November 13, 2014 Research Lab -- Courtyard; Asuka was grilling Fred on his personal philosophies after dropping in on Fred's conversation with Aria about a similar topic] ???: Let me rephrase, then... If the world was going to disappear tomorrow... What would you do today? Frederick: What kind of a question is that? Stop whatever's ending the world or die trying. Aria: ...You mean "spend it with someone you love"? Frederick: ... Aria: All right, break's over. I'm going back, and you two should too. Just because Vince gave the order doesn't mean you get to be late. ??? [Asuka]: ... Well, you definitely made HER feel lonely. You really do like to get lost in your own little world, don't you? Frederick: Yeah, yeah, I picked the wrong answer. Rub it in. ???: That's not what I mean, Frederick. She's worried about you. Frederick: What? Why would she do that? ???: Well... Frederick: Well what? ???: Your world is very small, and whatever you do, you do it alone. Even in the laboratory, all you have are enemies. Frederick: What, so I should be kissing ass so I can play with the cool kids? I've got you and Aria. That isn't enough?

It feels like Frederick hadn't yet proposed or realized that Aria had feelings for him yet here, and that Asuka's hinting that Fred had a chance to put the moves on with her and blew it.

According to Asuka, Aria wanted the Gear stuff to happen with her and Sol so they could stay together for as long as possible, too.^5

That Man: You already knew...Aria's disease was incurable. And like you, I suggested we cryo-freeze her until technology could catch up. There might have been a cure in the future...I would've searched for it myself! But she refused... Why? So she could spend as much time as possible with you, Frederick. Sol: ... That Man: Aria was stubborn, and no amount of persuasion would convince her. But, I refused to accept that nothing could be done. That we had to watch her die... And I found the answer... The one way she would accept treatment. That she would be able to see you again. No matter how long she may sleep. For that to happen...you needed to become indestructable.

It would be really weird if Aria had said no when Frederick proposed to her because, if it was between November 2014 and even as early as January 2015, that still leaves about a year before Begin happens and there definitely weren't any weird feelings between them in that time.

So, yeah. I think she probably said yes to his proposal even if the term used in Begin to describe their romantic relationship wasn't something as firm as "fiancée" (婚約者 or フィアンセ). The English version of Strive's GG World also just vaguely says "romantically involved."^6

"Partner" would fit the best for their relationship until they say otherwise in the canon somewhere, but I do think they were probably actually engaged.

The fun questions here now are: Since Frederick had some pretty clear beef with the Christian God even before he got turned into a Gear, did they have a wedding? Did they just go to a courthouse to legalize it? What's the concept of marriage even like in a post-Dawn of Revival world? Why does Frederick hate god so much? There are no answers and even less hints about any of this.

Sources:

GGBegin page 05 (first page of the prologue chapter)

Strive (00:43:46 if the timestamp link doesn't work): https://youtu.be/Gxx_XxjM8kE?si=UIH443o_xFG0ggaB&t=2616

Xrd Sign "Struggle A": https://guiltygear.fandom.com/wiki/Guilty_Gear_Xrd_-Sign-_script#Struggle_A

Xrd Sign "Devastation A"; November 13, 2014 Research Lab -- Courtyard: https://guiltygear.fandom.com/wiki/Guilty_Gear_Xrd_-Sign-_script#Devastation_A

Xrd Revelator "Cause A": https://guiltygear.fandom.com/wiki/Guilty_Gear_Xrd_-Revelator-_script#Cause_A

"Aria" entry.

[thissortofsorcery]

A Harringrove Season 2 AU that starts like this-

It’s the last week of October and California is less than a smudge in Billy’s rearview mirror. It was a dot, then a pinprick, then a memory, an abstract of happiness and freedom that he’d been forced to drive away from. It might as well have only existed in his head.

He spends the entire 30-odd hours on the road imagining himself turning the car around and hightailing it back home, but he figures that’s why Neil stuck Maxine in his passenger seat, to keep him in line.

Billy hates that it worked. He wishes he had the guts to leave her behind and fuck off somewhere where no one will find him, but he could feel Neil’s eyes on him through his windshield and the truck’s rearview mirror the whole way to Indiana.

At least Maxine looks as miserable as he feels, the little bitch. Like this isn’t all her fucking fault, anyway. Billy can hear her banging around in her room through the shared wall, like if she makes enough noise Susan will let her skateboard all the way back to California to her deadbeat dad.

Billy’s itching for a cigarette, and to put on some music to drown out fucking Maxine, but his boombox is still in the trunk of the Camaro, and he smoked his last cig on the way into town a couple of hours ago.

Fuck it. He’s gotta get gas anyway if he’s gonna drive the shitbird around to buy all their school shit tomorrow. He palms his wallet and his keys and walks a line out of his room and out the front door without slowing down, let them think he’s going to get more stuff out of the car, whatever, and doesn’t breathe out until he’s peeling out of the driveway with Motley Crüe booming from his speakers.

He’ll at least get yelled at for whatever Maxine complains he did during the last leg of the drive, anyway. He drove too fast, played his music too loud, didn’t stop enough to let her pee. Nothing’s ever good enough for perfect Maxine.

A noose has been tightening around his neck ever since he passed the aged “Welcome to Hawkins!” sign at the edge of town. He wonders how long it’ll take until it’s pulled taut.

Hawkins, Indiana was a small, dusty and badly aged town in the dying light of the afternoon when they arrived, and it’s no better now at night with barely any streetlights on. It’s fucking depressing. There’s no one out on the streets, no stores open, only a few porch lights on on the streets he drives past, and most of the town’s landscape is just goddamn trees. Everywhere.

If they hadn’t passed a gas station on the way into town Billy doubts he’d be able to find one on his own at night. But he does.

Billy’s just leaned back against the Camaro with a lit cigarette, just killing time, when a fancy Beemer pulls up to the gas pump behind his. He barely glances at the guy that climbs out of the car but hears him singing under his breath. It’s a nice voice, for a hick.

The singing stops, and he hears a low whistle.

“Nice ride, man.” The guy says, and Billy looks up, and kind of wishes he hadn’t.

The guy’s gorgeous, tall and long limbed in that way that always got Billy’s blood pumping, with big hands and floppy hair and dark, doe eyes. Then the guy smiles at Billy, and his insides revolt. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck his pretty plump mouth and his straight white teeth. Billy wants to maul it, to watch it turn red and shiny wet.

“Thanks,” he says, instead of all that, and takes the last drag of his cigarette. Crushes the butt under his heel. “Fixed her up myself”

Figures he’d run into a hot guy a couple hours into Neil’s imposed exile, not two weeks out of the hospital. But it’s fine. He’s probably never gonna see the guy again.

“No shit.” The guy says, and his smile widens into a grin, like he’s impressed. His eyes twinkle at Billy. “I know the basics, you know, how to change a tire and shit, but that’s so cool that you know that.”

He steps away from the Beemer and approaches the Camaro for a closer look. Billy feels himself grow warm, and prays to anyone that’ll hear that the guy can’t see him blushing in the bad lighting of the gas station. He’s always been embarrassed about how weak he is for a compliment, and he’s really proud of his car and the hours he put into making her purr. This guy has managed to hit every one of Billy’s happy buttons ever since he arrived.

“I’m Steve, by the way.” The guy says, before Billy can say anything else, and offers his hand. “Steve Harrington.”

“Billy. Hargrove. Just moved here.” Steve’s hand is warm, and huge, and his grip is firm but not overwhelming. He lets go too quickly, shoves his hand back in his pocket to mirror the other. Billy takes another cigarette out of the pack just for something to do with his hands, but doesn’t light it.

“Yeah, I was thinking I hadn’t seen you around before. How long?” Steve asks.

“A couple hours ago.”

Steve barks out a laugh. His throat is a long white line dotted with moles. His smile, after, is soft.

“Am I the first local you’re meeting?”

“Sorry to disappoint you, pretty boy.” Billy laughs, and jerks his head towards the store. “I met the cashier first.”

“Oh, darn.” Steve gives him a rueful smile. “Here I thought I’d get to show you the cool spots around town. Guess you’ll have to settle for Old Marge’s knitting club.”

“Isn’t that the best Small Town, Midwest has to offer, though?” Billy snarks, and resentment bleeds into his voice.

Steve, bless him, takes it in stride.

“You haven’t lived until you tried Old Marge’s bathtub hooch, man. One of the cheerleaders lives next door to her and sneaks out a couple bottles when she cat sits. I’ve seen keggers turn into horror movies.”

“Well,” Billy says, eyebrows raised, “I’d pay to see that.”

And if Steve knows where to score some weed, then at least he won’t die of boredom in this fucking town.

“There’s gonna be a party this week.” Steve says. “At Tina’s. A girl from school. Uh, you are in high school, right?”

Billy lets out a laugh.

“Yeah. I’m a senior.”

“Cool! Me too.” Steve looks a little flustered. He scratches at the back of his neck and he smiles a little bit, eyes low lidded, looking at his shoes, all sweet. Billy wants to see him like this everyday. “Anyway, it’s a Halloween party. Nancy, my girlfriend- Nancy and I are going, but you should totally come with us.”

Billy’s good mood pops like a balloon. He tries not to let the girlfriend comment crush his ribs like a lead weight- of course a guy like Steve in a town like Hawkins has a girlfriend, of course he wasn’t flirting with Billy, of course they weren’t going to hop into their cars and drive together to a secluded spot to trade handjobs on the first night Billy’s even in town. Still, it’s a reminder of just where he is, and why. And who’s watching, ready to put him back in the hospital if he falls out of line.

“I’ll think about it.”

Steve laughs, “Yeah, Mr. Cool. Let me know.”

There’s a beep behind Steve, and they both glance back. His tank’s full.

“Shit. I gotta go.” Steve says, and digs around his jacket pocket for his wallet, already walking toward the glass door of the gas station where Old Marge’s waiting. “But look for me at school, I’ll show you around!”

“Sure, Steve.” Billy says, voice low, after Steve’s already turned around. He has a grand old time watching him walk away, ass filling his dark jeans just right. Can’t touch, but can look if you time it right.

In his car, he finally lights his cigarette, turns his music back on, and takes a moment to breathe deep while the noose is just a little bit looser around his neck.

Steve Harrington, huh. Maybe there’s something in Hawkins that’s not so bad.

-----

This is the first fanfic I've written in several years! Trust Billy to give me the writing jeebies. This is an idea I had over a month ago and wouldn't leave me alone.

Also can you tell I have no idea how gas pumps work.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Eighteen

“You’re right.” He says. “It’s really nice.”

“I’m glad it actually is. I could only kind of imagine how it might look when it was daytime.” 

It’s like little stars have fallen from the sky and become tangled in the branches of the oak trees over our heads. It’s a blanket of light encompassing us as we sit together on the ground looking up at it. It’s a rare, quiet place in the middle of the commotion, but it’s so late now that most people are either back in their tents or at one of the late DJ sets dotted around the festival. There’s still music somewhere in the distance, but apart from that it’s pretty serene. The small stage nearby has closed up for the night and the only other human I can see is a man in a high-vis jacket putting rubbish into a bin bag, clearly getting an early start on tomorrow’s cleanup. 

Normally I feel nervous when I’m alone with Jude, but tonight I’m calm. Maybe it’s because I’ve already used up all of my adrenaline after a hectic day, or if it’s because of the magic that happens after midnight, when you begin to hear grasshoppers chirping and feel the dew forming on the grass. There’s this smell that only exists on rare summer nights, a sweet, grassy scent that I have a hard time explaining, but when it invades my nostrils I feel the thrill of being out at night, on my own in a secret garden after everyone else has gone. Everyone but us. 

“I like it when it’s quiet like this.” I tell him. “I feel like I’ve forgotten what quiet is.”

“Right.” He agrees. “It can be hard going, a festival. It takes a lot out of you.” He turns to me and says earnestly: “I hope that you’re having a good time, like I hope it isn’t overwhelming, in spite of the thing at the rave.”

“I’m having a good time.” I say. “Today was honestly a little weird, but it had its moments.”

“Today was a bit weird for me too.” He admits, and I wait for what feels like forever for him to elaborate. “I’ve had a lot on my mind, I think.” He eventually manages, and I push him for more information: “Do you get like that a lot?”

“What, like have stuff on my mind?” He smirks. “Do you?”

“Well, Yeah.”

“Same.” 

“Jen said you’re a scorpio, and that’s why you’re moody.” I tease, and this makes him laugh. “Oh yeah? What else does she say whenever you two are gossiping about me?”

“Rich of you to assume that we spend time talking about you at all.”

“Do you?”

“Well, do you talk to her about me?”

“Yes, obviously.”

His frankness takes me by surprise. “Oh.” is all I say for a minute, then I venture: “What do you talk about?”

He says “None of your business.” Which is what I expected. 

“Well then I’m not telling you either.”

“Bet I already know.”

“You think?”

“I bet she tells you that I’m secretly a boring, moody dickhead under all the facade or something, doesn’t she?”

“She didn’t say ‘boring’. You’re not boring.”

“But she did say ‘moody’.”

“Sour, I think, is the word she used. Which, like, I never thought of you like that. You always seem happy to me. Well, mostly.”

“Maybe because when I’m having a particularly sour day I just stay in my room.”

“And you couldn’t stay in your room today.” I sort of regret saying it as soon as it comes out of me, but I really feel like we’re being very honest with one another so it seems right. He shakes his head and laughs dryly. “No, no I couldn’t stay in my room today. Sorry, I didn’t think it was that obvious.”

“I thought it was.”

“Sometimes things pile up.” He says with some difficulty. “I overthink. And… maybe I’ve been overthinking too much this summer.”

“Are you overthinking what happened last night?

He starts anxiously picking at bits of grass. “Yeah. Yeah maybe.” His brows are knitted together, and he’s just watching his fingers poking at the ground like they’re not a part of him, but just a separate entity that he can’t control, performing some hypnotic, repetitive task. I’ve never felt less vulnerable than him before, it strikes me. Always in our interactions he seems to be the one who has the upper hand on me; more confident, more stable, stronger, better at handling himself, but now it feels like the tables have turned. When I look at him now it’s like I’m seeing a different person to the one I’ve been seeing all summer, and it’s clear that he really isn’t as different to me as I believed. Before now the year and a half between our ages had seemed enormous, like there’d never be a way to bridge the differences between our experiences, but I see now that he’s really not the mature, self-assured adult that I thought he was. He’s an eighteen year old teenage boy, and he doesn’t know what he’s doing either. He doesn’t know how to be more than anybody else, perhaps he’s just better at hiding it. 

“Hey.” I say. “I know I’m a bit younger than you, and I’m sorry if that freaks you out, but I know that we’re really not all that different when you think about it. Like, yeah I have less experience than you and I’m sure that’s-”

“It’s not that.” He insists, cutting me off mid monologue. “That’s not what I’m overthinking about. It isn’t you, or your age or your experience.”

“Well, what is it then?”

He makes a frustrated sound and then waits ages before answering me. I’m starting to think that he won’t say anything at all, before he shrugs and takes a breath to say: “I don’t think it’s a good thing. For you to like me, I mean. I don’t really want you to.”

I feel myself begin to deflate. “But it’s hard not to.”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“How could I not? It’s you.”

“Hm.”

“Can you look at me for a second?” And he does, his eyes snap to mine and they’re so intense and so startling, and they do things to the insides of my body that empties my head of any thoughts but how badly I want to kiss him, and once I’ve had that thought I can’t think about anything else. The thought just hangs there, and I forget what I wanted to say to him. I skate my eyes over his cheeks, his freckled nose, his pretty mouth that is usually smirking like he knows a secret that I don’t, but now is downturned at the edges, and I’m obsessed with the idea of kissing the sadness away. I’ve never kissed a boy before, I’ve only ever let them kiss me. It’s been something that’s felt like it was happening to me, but right now I can’t help but try. I reach for him and brush my lips delicately against his. I give him a flurry of tiny butterfly kisses all across his mouth, not really knowing what I’m doing, if it’s the right way to do it, or if he likes it, and just when starts to feel as though he isn’t going to kiss me back, he softens and pulls me into him so he can show me how it’s done. He kisses me so slowly with an open mouth, hands moving up my sides until they’re gently cradling my face, his breath hot on my cheek. It’s soft and sweet, and he’s so careful with me, and as he grazes my bottom lip with his teeth I can’t help but whimper gently, and wonder why I ever thought my mouth was for anything but kissing him. All this time I’ve been using it to speak and to eat, and I never knew it could be like this. It’s never been like this with anybody else.

He traces a line with his lips along my cheeks and kisses my nose and my forehead before burying his face into my neck and kissing me there too, gently sighing my name like it’s a prayer. I didn’t think my own name could sound beautiful, but it does, the way it comes out of him, it does. 

I have a new thought then, that maybe I could do it. Maybe I really am the kind of girl who sneaks back to empty tents with boys. Maybe when we go, and he helps me out of my clothes and touches and kisses the skin beneath them then everything will be alright. Maybe then I’ll be able to take his despair away, and when he looks into my eyes he’ll realise that we’re meant for each other, and I’m enough for him, and he won’t need anything else. I reach out and stroke his hair, then I bring my lips to the top of his head and kiss him there. His hair is soft, clean, and smells like his shampoo. “If you want to go back to my tent, we can.” I whisper, running my hand down his neck and taking his face in my hands so I can lift his face to me. 

He looks confused. “Hm?”

“I can get Claire to sleep in with Shane, we can have it to ourselves.”

Prev // Next

[greenlightbulbonawire]

Misfits (yeah like the Arcane song)

XVII.

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Author's note: this fic is going really well on all platforms and I'm so happy cuz of that, so I just wanna say that whether you are just reading this, leaving a like whatever, I'm thankful for you all :] xoxo

Sixteenth chapter

Masterlist

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Vi let you go finally and Caitlyn came a little closer. You gave her a nod and turned to Ekko.

"You all good then?"

He chuckled and shrugged, Vi's lips turned into a grin and Caitlyn just looked confused.

"Apart from these two almost killing each other."

Vi added and you raised an eyebrow at Ekko, he rolled his eyes and nodded.

"But [reader], tell me, how did you end up here?"

You opened your mouth but Ekko was faster.

"They blew up one of Silcos' airships, and almost fell to their death."

"Simply put, yeah."

You agreed with him and Vi laughed a bit.

You all conversed for a while and then Ekko and you went to show Vi and Caitlyn where they'd sleep for the night.

"Aight, 'night. See you in the mornin'."

"Me too."

You said your goodbyes and Vi closed the door.

"So, how'd it go?"

You asked Ekko about the interrogation he gave Vi.

"Let's talk somewhere different."

"Okayy? Where do you suggest?"

"I dunno, your room?"

"Why are you so eager to talk with me in private?"

Ekko raised his eyebrows at you.

"Well forgive me for trying to have an one on one with my new member."

You chuckled a bit at his answer and shook your head.

"Okay, okay, my room then."

You hopped off the hoverboard first this time, watching Ekko to see if he'd at least falter, but he didn't move an inch. He then jumped off too and followed you to your door, leaving the hoverboard on the ground. You opened it and let him go in first.

"Your room looks the exact same it did when you weren't living in it."

He noted.

"I didn't feel the need to change anything."

You simply shrugged and watched him flop onto your bed, his shoes on and everything. Whatever.

You sat in the exact same position you assumed in his room.

"So, now will you tell me how your interrogation went?"

"Sure. I walked in, we argued, Vi unlocked her cuffs and shit and gave me a hug and that was 'bout it."

"Aww, that's sweet though."

Ekko was throwing one of his gloves and catching it repeatedly, he chuckled at your comment and sighed.

"Is that why you cried?"

The words came out of your mouth before you got to think them over. The boy stopped throwing the glove and you both waited in the quiet for a bit.

"I thought she was dead. The pillar, with the faces on it? Those are people I presumed dead and the painting is to honor them. She has the biggest portrait there, and she's still fucking alive."

You sat in silence again, not knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that."

Ekko shifted on the bed and sat up, letting his legs dangle off the beds edge, not far your body.

"You're good, don't worry about that."

"If you say so."

You started to fidget with your scraped and bloody knuckles, rubbing the dry blood off. He watched you and then he slipped onto the ground next to you.

"You really got into the punching huh?"

He commended at your hands.

"I guess, I thought that if I can't get a hit on you, I might as well go punch something else."

"I mean, your punches aren't that bad, but you need to aim better."

You nodded and took a mental note of that.

"I'm sure that if we have a rematch tomorrow, I'll be able to hit you at least once."

"About that... I'm going to Piltover with them tomorrow."

The boy explain that they have some blue sparkly marble that's magical and stuff and that they need to return it to Piltover to prove that not all people in the Undercity are bad and all.

"Take me with you then. I can be of help."

"I'm going alone."

"Please?"

The boy sighed and let his head slowly fall onto your shoulder.

"No, I'm sorry but you'd just slow us down. I'm not even taking Scar."

You sighed and let your head rest on his, burying your gaze to the wall in front of you, taking notice of the slowly fading light.

"Yeah I know, but it was worth a try."

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites in: Ultra Opposites: “Embrace the Dark Side” (by @avaveevo)

This morning, at GeenasDavisville high, Human Jesse was in her class looking at the teen joys lovingly, until Ms. Perez came in the room with an important announcement.

Ms. Perez: Okay class before we get started, we have an important announcement, you kids remember your classmate Tyler, right?

Human Jesse: Uh, yeah?

Ms. Perez: Well, it turns out your classmate has been going for big changes. Okay, time to come in!

Human Jesse grow confused by what she said. Then we see Monica. The classmates gasp in shock and Human Jesse looks surprised once Monica walks in here.

Human Jesse: What in the…

Aidan: Tyler?

Monica: It’s Monica now, actually.

Classmates: What?!

Jayden: Dude, what happened to you?!

Monica: Well, I am transgender now. So, yeah.

Human Jesse: Transgender?

Monica: Well, if you all had notice by now, I have transitioned into a girl. I know some of you might be shock and confused. But, I just hope you don’t mind my new look?

Monica laughs nervously. After school, Human Jesse talks Human to Yumyulack about Monica.

Human Jesse: So did you hear about Tyler? He has just transitioned into a girl named Monica!

Sonya meets up with her siblings.

Sonya: Hey, guys!

Human Jesse: Hey Sonya?! Did you heard about Tyler?

Sonya: You mean Monica? Yeah, I know.

Human Yumyulack: Damn. I had no idea Tyler, or well Monica was transitioning into a new gender. He must’ve been questioning it a lot lately

Human Jesse: Should we tell Terry and Korvo?

Sonya: Yeah. I did see him, actually her doing girly stuff lately, he hasn’t been doing what other boys do.

The kids arrive home.

Terry: Hey kids. How was your day?

Janiz: How did it go?

Human Jesse remains silent.

Human Yumyulack: Apparently some kid in her class is transgender

Korvo: Really? Which one?

Human Jesse: mumbles something

Korvo: Oh honey… are you feeling nervous? It’s okay to say his or her name.

Human Jesse: Tyler, or should I say Monica…

Terry and Korvo look surprised, so is Janiz.

Terry: Tyler Miller? Oh yeah I heard about him transitioning last week from his mom

Korvo: B-But, I didn’t.

Janiz: Me neither.

Terry: Oh. You guys didn’t knew? Well, I have met the Millers. They are very nice people, except for Mrs. Miller’s sister and nieces. They were jerks to Tyler, or should I say Monica all the time.

Yumyulack and Jesse then turn back into their normal Shlorpian selves.

Jesse: Maybe I should talk to Monica tomorrow…

Suddenly, Jesse starts to feel headache as sparks spread around her body.

Sonya: Um Jesse? You okay? suddenly notices the yellow sparks turning pink Huh?

Korvo and Terry: Jesse!

Yumyulack: Whoa! What’s happening to her sparks? They are pink, instead of yellow

Terry: Jesse! Are you okay?! Speak to me!

Jesse starts breathing in and out as Janiz starts to scan her with the DNA scanner.

Korvo: Janiz! What is it?!

Janiz: Jesus christ, Terry! She’s a Mundane like you!

Terry: Oh my God! She is?!

Janiz: The scanner doesn’t lie.

Terry: Holy shit! How did she manage to bond with it? I haven’t seen any other Mundane since I transformed 13 years ago when Jesse was still a baby!

Janiz: Must be hard…

Sonya and Yumyulack grows concern once Jesse starts snarling on the floor.

Korvo: Maybe it would be best if Jesse goes somewhere to relax

Sonya: But where?!

Terry has an idea

Terry: Don’t worry! I know where!

Later, Terry then takes Jesse to a nice botanic garden near the Millers’ house while the sun starts to set.

Terry: Feeling better?

Jesse starts breathing in and out as she looks at her hand in fear.

Jesse: Am I really gonna lose control like you?

Terry then grows shock but his put his arms around his daughter as he smiles at her.

Terry: To be honest…I’m not sure.

Then, Mr. Miller was about to see them. Terry and Jesse gasp upon seeing Mr. Miller and quickly turns into their human forms, once Mr. Miller walked out the door.

Human Terry: Hey, Mr. Miller.

Mr. Miller: Why hello there Terry. I see this must be your daughter Jesse. She is in the same class as my daughter Monica.

Human Jesse: Uh…

Human Terry: Why yes. We would like to meet them.

Human Terry and Human Jesse head inside.

Human Jesse: Um hello? Is Monica home?

Mrs. Miller: She’s in her room.

Human Jesse: Okay. Thanks.

Human Jesse heads to Monica’s room

Human Jesse: knocking on the door Hello? Monica? It’s me Jesse from Ms. Perez’s class!

Monica: opens the door Oh, Jesse! Come on in!

Human Jesse come sun and grow amazed over what Monica’s room looks like and the makeup kit Monica has.

Human Jesse: You have a nice room.

Monica: Thank you. My parents help decorated it after I transitioned.

Human Jesse: So, how did you learn you were…you know…

Monica: Yeah I know. Well, I was feeling insecure about myself. I didn’t do all the things boy do, then I started growing interested into girl stuff

Human Jesse: I like girl stuff too…

Monica: Well, I felt like I was girl trapped in a boy’s body. Once I told my parents, they freaked out a little but managed to accept it because they love me.

Human Jesse: I’m glad they support you.

Monica: Yeah. So, I heard Sonya became your new little sister. Was it exciting?

Human Jesse: Yeah. It’s nice to be a big sister.

Monica: D’aw… well, to be honest… I haven’t been able to make any friends lately. Especially before I transitioned.

Human Jesse: Must be tough.

Monica: Yeah. My cousins even started to pick on me even more. As for my aunt, she’s transphobic. Luckily, my mom doesn’t let her go anywhere near our family again. Plus, my aunt was always a huge asshole.

Human Jesse: That must’ve been hard to deal with…

Monica: Yeah… sigh sadly

Human Jesse hugs Monica.

Human Jesse: It’s okay.

Monica smiles, then Human Jesse notice makeup.

Human Jesse: You think I could have some makeup?

Monica: Sure! Wanna do makeovers?

Human Jesse: Hell yeah!

Then, the girls starts putting makeup on each other as they start laughing. Human Terry starts to overhear it and smiles at his daughter. But unknown to them, Night Runner is hearing everything as he grins evilly. The next day, Human Jesse and Monica are walking to school with Sonya and Human Yumyulack.

Sonya: So, did you girls have fun last night?

Human Jesse: Hell yeah we did!

Monica: Yeah. To be honest, your sister is pretty nice. I’m glad she and one of your dads came over. You must be very lucky to be adopted by the Opposites, Sonya!

Suddenly Nicholas appears.

Human Jesse: Oh shit! whispers Quick, hide with me, Monica!

Monica: Huh? Why?

Human Jesse: Just trust me! takes Monica’s hand

Human Jesse and Monica go somewhere to hide.

Monica: What’s going on?! What is it?!

Human Jesse: That’s my ex boyfriend!

Monica: What?! He is?! Wow, what happened between you two? Was he fucking with you?! Because, don’t worry! I know Krav Maga!

Human Jesse: No! It turns out he was a mutant disguised as a teenager! He was just using me just using me to get to my family!

Monica: What?! Are you certain?!

Human Jesse: It’s true! He is even trying win me back! But I refuse to after what he has done! He is also a crook!

Nicholas: Jesse?

Human Jesse growls, but Monica grows angry and stands with Human Jesse as she gets into a fight stance.

Human Jesse: What do you want asshole?!

Monica: What the fuck do you want bitch? ‘Cause Jesse has told me so much about you!

Nicholas: Oh come on! I just want Jesse to get back together with me!

Human Jesse: slaps him in the face Fuck you dickhead! You were just using me again! Well, I had enough of you making me look like a fool, when you try numerous times to get back together with me! I have had enough!

Nicholas: Aw come on baby! starts turning back into his mutant form

Monica gasp in shock as she backs up a bit.

Monica: Holy shit! You were not kidding when you told me he was a mutant! He looks freaky!

Human Jesse: And disgusting!

Monica: That too!

Nicholas transformed into Night Runner as Human Jesse and Monica prepares to fight him.

Monica: I’ll take care of him! Krav Maga!

Monica tries to use her Krav Maga moves as Night Runner speeds away from her, much to her shock.

Monica: Wh-what?! You have powers?!

Nicholas/Night Runner: Fuck yeah! And there is nothing you can do about it!

Human Jesse growls as she turns back into her Shlorpian form, much to Monica’s surprise as she gasp.

Monica: Wh-what?! Jesse! You’re a-

Jesse: Alien?! I know! But stay back! I got this! electric sparks spreads around her body

Monica: Wait, what are you-

Jesse transformed into Electra as she gets out her electric wrecking ball and growls in fury. Monica gaps in excitement.

Monica: Oh. My. God! You’re Electra?! I am such a huge fan of you and your family and friends!

Jesse/Electra: gasp Really?!

Monica: Yeah! I really am! I even like some of the girls, especially Shine Light and her light powers! How does she do that?!

Jesse/Electra: Sorry fair citizen! But right now, I got some ass to kick! whispering into Monica’s ears as Monica grins playfully Oh, and you can’t tell anyone that I’m Electra! Including your parents!

Monica: Got it!

Electra gets starts swinging her wrecking ball as Night Runner, who dodged it. Electra growls, which helps her charged up, but then her rage starts to take ahold of her powers as she feels a pain in her head again and her sparks turn pink again.

Monica: Oh no! Are you okay?!

Jesse/Electra: eyes starts glowing pink Stay away from me!

Monica: screams My bad.

Meanwhile back at school, Human Yumyulack, Sonya and Daryl hears Electra screaming.

Human Yumyulack: gasp Jesse?!

Miss Frankie: walks up to them with Principal Cooke What is it?!

Sonya: We heard Jesse! She’s in trouble!

Ms. Perez: What?!

Mia: Where is she?!

Human Yumyulack: I don’t know! But, we have to go help her! Come on!

And with that, Human Yumyulack, Sonya, Daryl, Miss Frankie; Principal Cooke, Ms. Perez and Mia takes off as they went outside and the school and runs off to help Electra. Back with Electra, she keeps kneeling on the ground as she starts snarling, much to Monica’s concern as she backs away a bit.

Nicholas/Night Runner: Come on baby, let me take that pain away-

Electra suddenly roars and headbutts Nicholas savagely as he fall on the floor and his nose starts bleeding.

Nicholas/Night Runner: Hey! What the fuck?!

Monica: Whoa! suddenly feels a pain in her foot Ow! What the fu-

Suddenly, Monica looks down and gasp she sees a strange particle on her feet as she looks at the hole in her burnt show, but then acid starts spewing from her hands she gasp.

Monica: What the?! I have acid powers?!

Jesse/Electra: thinking; in her head upon seeing this Shit. I gotta tell Korvo.

Later, Soarin’ Girl arrives as she sees Electra snarling on the floor as she gasp.

Sonya/Soarin' Girl: Electra?! What's going on?!

Electra growls at Soarin’ Girl as she grows worried. Then, Psylock, Dark Matter, Super Cooke, Shadow Lady, Shine Light and Shout Out manage to suit up and arrive.

Ms. Perez/Shout Out: Electra! We’re here to help you and… notices the pink eyes Are you okay?

Mia/Shine Light: Electra?

Yumyulack/Psylock: turns to face Night Runner What did you do to her?!

Nicholas/Night Runner: Why nothing? Just giving your sister a pep talk on getting back together!

Yumyulack/Psylock: Oh HELL NO!

Sonya/Soarin Girl growls and pummels Nicholas/Night Runner, going Big Little Sister Instinct in the process!

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: LEAVE MY BIG ALIEN SISTER ALONE!

Night Runner: Why you little bitch!

Soarin’ Girl punches Night Runner in the face with a powerful super punch as she flies back to the group. Yumyulack/Psylock hugs his sister.

Yumyulack/Psylock: I’m so proud of you lil sis! to Dark Matter Now babe!

Daryl/Dark Matter: Got it!

Dark Matter uses his mind reading psychic powers to blast away Night Runner as Monica gasp. Sherbet then sees what is happening and gasp as she starts glowing. Sherbet turns into Violet! Sherbet/Violet hands inside and runs up to Nova.

Sherbet/Violet: Nova! The others need us!

Nova nods and then transforms into Lady Roseus and the mother and daughter superhero duo meets up with their friends as Electra is still snarling.

Nova/Lady Roseus: Huh? Electra?!

Electra then roars and charges at Night Runner.

Nicholas/Night Runner: Hey get off of me, you bitch!

Electra attacks Night Runner. Then, she throws him to the wall. But, then he sees Monica and grabs her as she screams.

Jesse/Electra: eyes turns back to normal MONICA!

Yumyulack/Psylock: I got this!

But, Night Runner throws Psylock to the wall, and then he runs off with Monica as she grunts.

Monica: Let me go, you monster!

Nicholas/Night Runner: NEVER!

Sherbet/Violet: Oh no! That poor girl is in trouble!

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: We have to get Solar Flare and Legendary Super Shlorpian!

Soarin' Girl carries Psylock to Korvo and Terry's house where Korvo and Terry are having sex.

Korvo: Ooooh! Yes! You bad dirty boy! Oooh!

Terry: Mmm, fuck!

Korvo: Oh. Take me you slutty bitch! Bang me all the way to Bethlehem!

Psylock and Soarin' Girl hear their dads having sex.

Yumyulack/Psylock: Oh shit! They’re having sex! Eeew!

Sonya/Soarin' Girl: Aw, c'mon. Boo!

Nova/Lady Roseus helps the two back away as she knocks on the door politely.

Terry: IN A MINUTE! I'M FINISHING HERE!

Korvo: OOOOOOOHHHH! YYYYYAAAAAYYYY!

Finally, the two alien husband have finish their sex and then kiss on the lips.

Nova/Lady Roseus: Uh...

Korvo then hears Nova and nods at Terry. After the husbands put their clothes back on, Korvo opens the door, but it turns out he is still naked.

Yumyulack/Psylock: OH JESUS! OH FUCK! YOU ARE NAKED!

Korvo is confused but then realizes he's naked.

Korvo; Oh shit! I forgot to my clothes back on! Sorry! In a minute

Korvo closes the door and puts his clothes on. He starts stressing, until Terry manage to calm him down with a kiss on the cheek. Korvo smiles and then opens the door again.

Korvo: Yes?

Yumyulack/Psylock: Um… we have some bad news!

Sonya/Soarin' Girl: Jesse snapped!

Korvo and Terry gasp and transforms into their Ultra Opposites forms in shock.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Oh shit!

The group heads to the school.

Terry/Solar Flare: Jesse! sees Electra not here

Miss Frankie/Shadow Lady: Um bad news. She just left!

Terry/Solar Flare: Oh, for God's sake!

Janiz/Lady Super Shlorpian: Oh no! Did she left when you guys went to go get Terry and Korvo?!

Miss Frankie/Shadow Lady: Yep.

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: Uh huh! She just ran off to go save Monica!

Sherbet/Violet: And then she told us Monica now has acid powers!

Terry/Solar Flare and Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: WHAT?!

Solar Flare then freaks out like Mei does in Turning Red.

Terry/Solar Flare: Nnnooooooo! Oh My God! My babygirl!

Yumyulack/Psylock: Terry, chill.

Mia/Shine Light: It's okay.

Terry/Solar Flare: moans in anxiety and fear as his eyes glow orange No! It isn’t! Jesse’s gonna reach her breaking point anytime now!

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: Terry, look at me! Just calm the hell down!

Sherbet/Violet: Wait? Terry! What do you mean?!

Terry/Solar Flare: transforms into his Mundane form and roars I think Jesse has finally manage to bond with her Mundane spirit! She’s turning into a Mundane like me!

Everyone gasps.

Nova/Lady Roseus: What?!

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: Oh shit! I think Electra’s deep shit right now guys!

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare starts breathing in and out as tears well up in his eyes as his husband runs up to comfort him.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Oh honey. Shh shhh shh….

Mundane Terry sobs uncontrollably and Korvo comforts him.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Shhh… I know… it’s scary right now…

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Korvy?

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Yes dear. Is it about Jesse?

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: No. I just wanna be kissed right now...

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: smiling Oh honey!

The husband passionately make out until they hear a roar.

Yumyulack/Psylock: I’m on it! turns into his Super Shlorpian form and roars Aaaaahhhhhh….. much better!

Daryl/Dark Matter blushes at his boyfriend.

Daryl/Dark Matter: Damn, babe. You're sexy.

Psylock then sees Electra running after Night Runner, but luckily she didn’t finally transform into her mundane form yet.

Super Shlorpian Yumyulack/Psylock: There she is!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Good eye son! But did Jesse transform?

Super Shlorpian Yumyulack/Psylock: Luckily no.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: We gotta move fast! Ultra Opposites, move out!

All: Right!

Later, they then head to the city.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Lady Roseus, Lady Super Shlorpian, get Agent Red, Master and La Oscuridad!

Janiz/Lady Super Shlorpian and Nova/Lady Roseus: Got it!

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare turns back into his normal self.

Terry/Solar Flare: Super Cooke! Go get Flamethrower and Ultra Man!

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: On it!

Yumyulack/Psylock: And Dark Matter and I will go get Firey and Miss Darcina!

The boys nod.

Sherbet/Violet: And I’ll go get Master Smasher!

Terry/Solar Flare: Good idea.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Alright team! Move out!

We then see Electra ready to battle Night Runner.

Jesse/Electra: opening the door with her wrecking ball NIGHT RUNNER!

Nicholas/Night Runner: Please don't! I'm sorry I-

Suddenly, Electra then sees Monica banging in a tube cell.

Monica: Help!

Jesse/Electra: Monica! charged up her wrecking ball as she growls Night Runner, let my new BFF go!

Nicholas/Night Runner: Make me!

Night Runner presses a button and the tube then shocks Monica as she screams.

Jesse/Electra: NO!

Monica: Electra! Don’t give into him! He’s shocking just to force you to join him! Don’t give in! You got this!

Then, Master Smasher smashes through the walls with her strength with a smirk.

Jesse/Electra: Huh? Jani- I mean Master Smasher?

Janice/Master Shasher: H'no, it's good to see you, y'know.

Jesse/Electra: Good but what about the others?!

Super Shlorpian Yumyulack/Psylock: We're right here!

Then, the rest of the Ultra Opposites arrived and does their own superhero stances, but Ultra Man is facing backwards

Jamie/Firey: Uh… Ultra Man?

Randall/Ultra Man: Huh? Oh.

Randall/Ultra Man turns around does his superhero stance.

Jesse/Electra: How did you guys...

Super Shlorpian L.S.S., Mundane Solar Flare and Super Shlorpian Psylock turns back into their normal selves. Then, Solar Flare hugs Electra.

Miss Frankie/Shadow Lady: Master manage to track you down and show us where you were heading.

Jesse/Electra: I see...

Montez/The Master: Yeah. We’re just glad you’re okay!

Sherbet/Violet: Now what has Night Runner done now?!

Night Runner: Not so fast!

All: Huh?

Night Runner smirks evilly and shocks Monica again.

Monica: Ugh! Ultra Opposites! Help!

Monica is still trapped in her cell as she got shock by Night Runner and Jesse/Electra is furious while the other Ultra Opposites arrived!

Terry/Solar Flare: No...

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Monica! Night Runner, release this poor girl at once!

Nicholas/Night Runner: After Electra broke my heart? No way!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: You bastard! You have gone too far messing with my daughter! It’s time to stop!

Cherie/Agent Red: I agree with L.S.S. here! You’re out of control!

Nicholas/Night Runner: Why don't you make me Mr. Flat Ass?!

Nova/Lady Roseus: Hey! Don’t talk to my best friend like that!

Terry/Solar Flare: Yeah! My husband’s ass is beautiful and thicc! slaps Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian’s ass

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Ooh! giggles Solar Flare, you dirty boy.

Terry/Solar Flare: Why yes. Yes I am. kiss Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian

Nicholas/Night Runner: Seriously? Are they always like this?

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Hell yeah! Because my alien dads always love each other no matter what!

Janiz/Lady Super Shlorpian: Now, release Monica at once!

Jesse/Electra: Leave him to me.

But then, the tube breaks a piece and an electric bolt hits Jesse/Electra as she starts screaming in pain. Then, she suddenly feels a pain in her head.

Terry/Solar Flare: Jesse!

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Sis! Are you okay?!

Yumyulack/Psylock: Speak to us! puts his hand on Jesse/Electra’s shoulders

Jesse/Electra: GET AWAY FROM ME!

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Huh?

Jesse/Electra: THE POWER! THE RAGE! I CAN'T HOLD IT!

Miss Frankie/Shadow Lady: Um, are you like okay Electra?

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: gasps and realizes what is going on Guys, get back!

Daryl/Dark Matter: to Yumyulack/Psylock Babe! Is your sister okay?!

Yumyulack/Psylock: I don't know.

Jesse/Electra suddenly grows bigger.

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Solar Flare! L.S.S.! What’s happening to my sister?!

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: Terry, it's time.

Terry/Solar Flare: Wh-what?!

Jesse suddenly grows muscular and her skin goes black as she rips apart her dress and shoes into pieces thanks to her still growing and the muscle growth too.

Terry/Solar Flare: Oh my god...

Sherbet/Violet: Holy shit! Like father like daughter!

Montez/The Master: I’ll say!

Jesse grows boobs much to everyone's confusion and shock.

Yumyulack/Psylock: gasp Titties!

Daryl/Dark Matter: Did she just get boobs?

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian, Terry/Solar Flare and Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Psylock!

Yumyulack/Psylock: What?

Monica: El-Electra?!

Mundane Jesse/Electra roars.

Cherie/Agent Red: I’m afraid this is not gonna end well! Stand back guys!

Terry/Solar Flare: Oh no! My baby!

Nicholas/Night Runner: What the fuck?!

Mundane Jesse/Electra’s eyes then starts glowing pink as she roars breaks the tube that was able to free Monica.

Monica: Thank you!

Terry/Solar Flare: Oh God! My babygirl! cries as Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian comforts him

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: It's okay, darling.

Mundane Jesse/Electra roars and throws Nicholas/Night Runner towards the building as she roars and jumps out.

Monica: Electra! No! Stop!

Mundane Jesse/Electra then grabs her yellow bow and yanks it off her head as she roars.

Terry/Solar Flare: SHIT!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: We got to do something before Electra hurt herself! We must find a way to calm her down

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian turns into his Super Shlorpian form.

Terry/Solar Flare: Wait! I know how! Korvy! Fly me to Jesse! Quick!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: What?! Are you insane?!

Terry/Solar Flare: Trust me… she’s my little sproutling… I have to help her…

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Okay.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian, seeing how determined and selfless his husband is being right now, smiles as he kiss his hubby on the forehead and grabs as he flies off while the other Ultra Opposites follow them and see Mundane Electra.

Terry/Solar Flare: JESSE!

Mundane Jesse/Electra as she throws Night Runner to a wall that knocks him out and then she sees Terry/Solar Flare and growls at him.

Terry/Solar Flare: It's okay. It's me. Your daddy.

Mundane Electra roars and throws a giant rock at Legendary Super Shlorpian and Solar Flare as they manage to dodge it. Then, Solar Flare’s eyes starts to glow orange as he smirks and goes Papa Wolf. Seeing this, Legendary Super Shlorpian smiles and gets ready to throw Mundane Solar Flare.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: You ready?

Terry/Solar Flare: starts turning black while growing bigger and muscular Oh fuck yeah! Ready!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Damn, honey. You looking faboo.

Terry/Solar Flare: Hell yeah. I do! Throw me in!

Legendary Super Shlorpian throws Solar Flare. Solar Flare then turns finished transforming into his Mundane form as he rips apart his uniform and roars. Mundane Electra then sees Mundane Solar Flare and snarls at him.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Jesse. You're okay. Look at me.

Mundane Electra roars and prepares to throw another rock at Mundane Solar Flare as he gasp.

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: Poor Terry. He dead.

But, Mundane Solar Flare kept being brave as he sees Mundane Electra snarling.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: J-Jesse?

Mundane Electra is about to throw something at her dad. Mundane Electra roars and throws the rock at Mundane Solar Flare who punches it into little ash thanks to his fire powers as he roars. Mundane Solar Flare then grabs Mundane Electra and pin her to the ground while touching her face softly and stroking it. Mundane Jesse realizes what she did and sobs.

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Shh. Oh Jesse-Bear. I’m so sorry Night Runner pushed you too far. This would’ve never happened if we had finally realize how truly crazy he is and still be there for you and then Monica would never be captured… you are not a monster… you are Jesse Opposites… a daughter… a sister… and a superhero… you’re our Electra and always will be. Please… come back to me Jesse-Bear…

Mundane Electra then breaks down in tears as tears fall down like waterfalls. Seeing how scared and overwhelmed his daughter is, Mundane Solar Flare embrace his daughter in a hug as he continues to sooth her and comfort his daughter.

Daryl/Dark Matter: Uh, babe? Are you crying?

Yumyulack/Psylock: shedding tears of joy Aaaww…

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: Well, how about that?

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Oh sis… walks to Mundane Jesse/Electra with the rest of the Ultra Opposites and hugs her

Mundane Jesse/Electra turns back into her normal Shlorpian self as she continues crying in Solar Flare’s chest, after he turn back into his normal Shlorpian self.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: We’re so sorry about all of this. You were trying to tell us how crazy Nicholas is, and we didn’t believe in you. We thought you were being mean to him when he tried to win you back. But we were wrong. He is an asshole.

Yumyulack/Psylock: We’re sorry. It’ll be okay. We’re gonna stop Night Runner. Once and for all.

Jesse/Electra: Thank you...

But, Jesse/Electra starts turning back into her Mundane form as she starts breathing in and out.

Terry/Solar Flare: Whoa. Easy honey. Just take deep breaths. This is your first time. Right now, let’s go stop Night Runner before he recaptures Monica!

Everyone: Yeah!

Jesse/Electra keeps taking deep breaths but her eyes are still glowing pink. Now, the Ultra Opposites manage to block Night Runner from escaping. Monica made it out but she starts glowing.

Cherie/Agent Red: Monica?

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: What's going on???

Monica starts glowing and then she develops her own suit and mask as the glow disappears. Yumyulack/Psylock faints. Monica, now a superhero girl, lands shadowy on her feet as she grows amazed by her costume.

Monica/???: Woah!

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Wow! Another Ultra Opposites kid! Welcome aboard to our posse!

Monica/???: Call me...Acid Girl!

Monica, now going by Acid Girl, does her own superhero pose.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Welcome aboard Acid Girl!

Jesse/Electra squeals with happiness.

Monica/Acid Girl: What up Electra?!

The two superhero BFFs then hug.

Jesse/Electra: Oh I am so glad you’re okay! Now, let’s go kick Night Runner’s ass! Together!

Monica/Acid Girl nods.

Terry/Solar Flare: Acid Girl! Keep him busy!

Monica/Acid Girl: Oh, I’ll keep him busy!

Acid Girl then shoots acid from her hands towards Night Runner who dodges it. Luckily, Miss Darcina manage to punch him to the wall.

Darcy/Miss Darcina: Take that!

Monica/Acid Girl: Thanks Miss Darcina!

Jesse/Electra: Korvo, fly me up there!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Oh what for?!

Jesse/Electra: Imma poke him in the eye!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: grins You go for it sweetheart!

Korvo transforms into his Super Shlorpian form and picks up Electra.

Terry/Solar Flare: Be careful sweetie!

But then, Night Runner grabs Soarin’ Girl as she screams.

Terry/Solar Flare: Okay! THAT'S IT!

Yumyulack/Psylock: Let go of my sister you bitch!

Solar Flare transforms into his Mundane form and roars.

Night Runner: gets out his weapon and threatens Soarin’ Girl Stay back Solar Flare or your pathetic little brat gets it!

Suddenly, Electra uses her wrecking ball to poke Night Runner in the eye. But he still holds on to Soarin’ Girl as she screams.

Cherie/Agent Red: Jesus Christ, Jesse!

Yumyulack/Psylock: Do something! He still got Sonya!

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Oh, I'll fucking do something!

But then, Night Runner tried to harm Solar Flare, which made Electra enraged as she starts turning black again and her eyes kept glowing pink.

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: Jesse?

Electra turns back into her Mundane form and roars as she lands near Night Runner to save her sister but is still losing her mind.

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: shedding tears of joy Jesse…

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Shit! Jesse, calm down, okay?

Mundane Electra then punches Night Runner that made him release Soarin’ Girl as she flies and then, Acid Girl smirks and uses her acid powers on Night Runner’s face as he screams.

Night Runner: You whore! You're better off as a man like you're supposed to be!

Monica/Acid Girl: That what you get for kidnapping me bitch! punches him with a powerful acid punch that knocks him out unconscious and I’ll never go be back to the person I was before! This is who I am now! And I love it!

Mundane Terry/Solar Flare: Wow! Nice punch! That really knocked him out!

But Mundane Electra is still kneeling down and growling like an animal as the rest of the Ultra Opposites as they gasp. Luckily, Soarin’ Girl embraces her sister with a cooldown hug, and it works. But Mundane Electra is crying.

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Aw it’s okay big sis. You did it. Your mean ex won’t bother you anymore. It’s okay.

Electra transforms back. She cries as Soarin’ Girl and Psylock comforts her, like good siblings. Then, the police arrived as they take Night Runner away finally.

Monica/Acid Girl: waving at Night Runner Good riddance, motherfucker!

Nicholas/Night Runner: Are we still on for a date, Jesse?!

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: growls May I?

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Oh fuck yeah! He deserved it after what he has done to your poor sister!

Sonya/Soarin' Girl punches Night Runner in the face. Night Runner then falls unconscious as the police puts him in the car while Soarin’ Girl prepares to call out to him as the police drives away with Night Runner. Then, Electra surprises Psylock by hugging him.

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: calling out to Night Runner THAT’S FOR MESSING WITH MY SISTER AND HER BFF YOU BITCH!

Legendary Super Shlorpian surprises Soarin' Girl by hugging her.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Bravo S.G.! I am so proud for you!

Soarin' Girl smiles. Then, the Ultra Opposites family put their arms around Electra as she continues crying. Solar Flare, who has turned back into his Shlorpian form, kisses Electra on the forehead.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Oh. Our poor sweet girl. We’re so sorry about what happened today. All this pressure has really gotten to you lately.

Jesse/Electra: I know...but I'm happy my family's here for me.

Sonya/Soarin’ Girl: Thanks sis. And don’t worry, we’ll train you to control your newfound monster form.

Legendary Super Shlorpian then flirts with Solar Flare.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: So, you wanna head home and do our thing later?

Terry/Solar Flare blushes as he smiles.

Terry/Solar Flare: giggles Sure, you big stud.

Legendary Super Shlorpian and Solar Flare then kiss while Psylock, Electra and Soarin’ Girl continue to hug each other while Acid Girl smiles with tears of joy, being touched by this heartwarming moment. The next day, Human Jesse and Monica are walking to school happily.

Human Jesse: Ready for another day at school bestie?

Monica: Hell yeah I am!

The two newfound BFFs giggles as they put each of their arm on their shoulder and walks to school as the scene fades to black.

THE END

[whatthehelltony]

could be doing anything else right now but I’m sitting in bed with all the windows open writing text post for tumblr and freezing my ass off. My pants are too big for me and it’s making me so mad and I want to make something but idk what and it’s so messy in here and I need to clean and I feel sick so maybe i should close the windows and maybe I should eat something other than sugar and caffeine and maybe I should make lunch but it’s too late so I’ll just wait til dinner cause everyone knows calories don’t count after dark which is maybe my problem and my throat hurts and I’m cold and I want to talk to someone but instead I’m here rambling to no one and I hope that I remember to delete this before anyone I know sees it but I probably won’t and I feel like I’m wasting time but I can’t stop and I just want to do something but idk what I and I just want to build something but it seems like maybe right now I have to do nothing because the only other thing I can do is destroy and talk to much and maybe I should sleep well tonight but I’ve already decided I won’t until my giant painting has a sky and I know that i cannot move the dresser til after dark and I need to hide my energy drinks cause people are coming over and might want to sit on the closet couch and I also need to move my sewing stuff and the dress I started and of course never finished because if I don’t do it all at once it won’t get done like the book my girlfriend gave me that I had to force myself to read in one sitting cause i knew I wouldn’t otherwise and why is it is a struggle to do things I want to do and why can’t I type and the music is too loud in my earbuds but it needs to be loud and I can’t type and I feel like I’m going deaf and maybe I’m going blind cause my eyes are always blurry now and maybe I should drink some water cause otherwise I’m gonna die at practice and maybe I should eat something but I ate a cookie at midnight last night and my mom isn’t home to tell me to eat and why am I complaining cause I eat dinner and I eat and I don’t have a problem and I’m itching but I know the thing that will make it stop will be too obvious and the last thing I want is for people to know anything and I wanna go home but I’m sitting in bed with the windows open and I am home and it’s cold but the sun is shining and my heart is beating too fast and maybe it’s the caffeine or the adrenaline from talking too much or maybe it’s my heart and I’m going to die and maybe I should close the window and put a period in my writing so that people can actually read it but maybe I’m making it unreadable in purpose so that no one reads it and maybe I could not post this but we both know I have to because I can’t text my girlfriend and even if I could I know I wouldn’t say anything cause she’s got it way worse and I’m actually good so idk what I’m doing here and why I’m typing and there’s a notes app for a reason but it just isn’t the same and I need to stop and I need to put a period somewhere but it’s too bright and my eyes are blurry but I won’t sleep til tomorrow and I need to shut up but my head hurts and maybe this will make it feel better but now I have to go because people are coming over and I need to clean and I keep forgetting things and maybe I’m crazy but people who are actually crazy don’t think they’re crazy so im ok and I won’t put a period because fuck

[carrickbender]

Sonntag seiben

1. September in the PNW means harvesting and putting in things for the winter that give hope that, at some point, we will see the sun again and taste the sweet goodness of the gifts of nature. This year is special because another generation of our family gets to decide their fate as either pickers or non-pickers. I've always been a picker since I was probably a bit older than Henry; My grandmere and I would dutifully pick the tiny delicious huckleberries right on the border of Idaho and Montana, and one of our favourite patches was yards away from where one of her relatives surveyed in the state lines of Montana(plot twist: it's backwards). My mom, on the other hand, was born a non-picker who often loved finding a nice shady spot with a book. Thankfully, as she and I were both raised as only children, she has become a picker because berries won't pick themselves and blackberries are awful to pick. And Buggy was such a trooper: he started off picking berries but then he just wanted to eat berries even double fisting them. Tradition can be so delicious.

2. I finished my 2 weeks at Medline on Saturday, and they were absolutely good people for whom to work. And on Tuesday, I start with a municipal organization in emergency mitigation services, which should be a good job. Its a serious pay cut from Cosmo, but I cant wait any longer. And with graduation looming for me at CWU and my MBA application submitted, my options are expanding by the day. I refuse to be blind to the silver lining to my loss of my job at Cosmo, and I am open to the lessons that the universe is teaching me.

3. So for a long time I couldn't wrap my head around affirmations, but now that I'm doing them, I feel different. I think maybe, just maybe, the reset has begun and I'm looking at how I reclaim grace. To all who helped: much love.

4. To all of you who do online tutoring, what do you think of it? I have some expertise, and I think I could parlay it into a little more income and use it for the benefit of others. Thoughts?

5. We find out this week what sort of pre-k/transitional kindergarten programme Buggy will be in this fall. And, cool thing: H was also accepted into our local college and is going to be finishing her degree in Chemical dependency counseling. Her sobriety not withstanding, she is so smart and if she wouldn't have had her oldest son so young she could have done anything. She was studying to become a nurse when "life" and a few other things got in the way, and I think how much of a loss it was, truly. So having her go back to school is truly making sure the smartest person in this house gets to use that amazing brain for good of others and not just making good stuff like the boule in the picture.

6. Jimmy Buffet and Bill Richardson, on the same day? I got to meet Bill and hear him speak, and he was truly a champion for the forgotten and unjustly imprisoned. And Jimmy... I heard so many stories of him playing the Elbow room in Dutch Harbour and Tony's in Kodiak that, turns out were all true. While he might have been seen as a brand, some of his lyrics really hit my old broken down ass self pretty hard. And like his lyric said,

"I hope you're enjoying the scenery

I know that it's pretty up there

We can go hiking on Tuesday

With you I'd walk anywhere

California has worn me quite thin

I just can't wait to see you again"

Peace be with them...

7. The agates and the quartz glass are from a local beach, and 3 generations of hands have touched them. 3...Somewhere, my father figure is proud and glad it took(and that his great grandson loves rocks and getting dirty, just like him).

If you are still reading this, don't labour tomorrow. Rest. Relax. It's been a hard 9 months, and judging by our mountain ash bushes here, it's going to be a long miserable winter. Many blessings yall, and be kind to yourselves and take a moment. If my stubborn ass can finally say, and mean it, "I love the person I am becoming", you can too.

Much love!!!!

[makemeanangelpure]

March 22, 2024- again.. I’m chicken shit to weigh because I know there’s no progress.

I have to start somewhere.

I threw up this morning because I ate again after throwing up last night, so drunk, I just ate with the full intention of purging after because I knew my partner was passed out. I’m hungry now obviously because I threw up again, and I’ve had 4 saltines, a green monster and bread and butter pickle juice. I want to eat to make the feeling go away, but I’d feel like a fatass for eating. I made them macaroni and grilled chicken from the freezer because they’re hungover today and that’s what they wanted so I scooped a ton into their bowl, and just now put the rest in a tuba-ware. I smelt it like 4 times, made myself think I didn’t want it but typing about it, thinking about it I want to go over there so bad and just eat it cold. They kept putting their hands under my shirt to warm their hands and eventually I had to say “ please don’t touch my stomach right now.” Which lets them know where my brain’s at even though I already assured them I was fine today. I know if I eat that, I’ll want to throw up again and won’t be able to, so it’ll be better to be hungry and sleep in a few hours rather than eat it, because they can eat it. Because they are off the next two days and I shouldn’t have any because it’s theirs now, I made it for them.. and I ate all the croissants this morning and purged like a moron. I feel so guilty.. I love been drawing since I cooked, trying to organize an old playlist and distract my brain, finish my monster, I tried to go over and kiss them while I was cooking and be affectionate.. but I’ve been very introverted today since they’ve been home.. they said they missed me and I got slightly annoyed because I’ve literally been over here for an hour just doing my thing- one night we haven’t watched something on tv together and suddenly you need attention when you said if I need time, I need time.. I don’t know and I put away my stuff like I was gonna go sit with them and stop drawing and now she’s asleep. Which they need to be to rest from the hangover.. god dammit I still want to eat it. Kill me I hate the way the saliva builds in my mouth.. I hate being a binger.. it’s being weak. It’s being fucking weak.. and tomorrow we’re supposed to go to this cafe with board games and I already don’t really want to go because I want to wear clothes but I don’t look the way i want in them and over half my closet doesn’t fit.. I can’t wear bras or panties or skirts or shorts or certain shirts without being reminded of how fat I got. They want to invite friends and I said no so fast because 5 years later and I’m still not seeing my friends because I’m trying to lose a crazy amount of weight first. And I keep thinking I should just eat today to give myself something to go off of.. start tomorrow.. I’ll have coffee.. I WONT order anything to eat at the cafe.. I can’t I don’t have money.. I’ll appreciate a coffee.. that’s what I get.. FUCK AM I EATING IT..

I ate it.. I hate it.. half way I wanted to be done but I’d put Cajun and pepper all over it and they eat it if I do that . So I also ate all of the lemon bread they got me and left one so they can have it.. and of course I’m full and feel sick and gross and horrible and god bad shivers.. so nervous the whole time they’re gonna wake up on the couch and they just did for a second while I’m eating bread..

I’ll get something tomorrow that keeps me under 42 for the day.. and for dinner I’ll have 2 cucumber slices and plain tea. Fuck.. it’s so hard to pick something a cappuccino or a latte are both gonna be about 100-150 as well as a cold brew.. I could just have a cup black and bring my own zero sugar sweetener and have pumpkin flavour like that.. might do that.. then I could have milk in my tea or something or maybe there’s creamer singles I can grab in there hell I don’t know.. anyway fasts started wooo

Staying under 50 cal I’m sitting for 44 hours should be easy especially with these first two days being 42’s.. and I can do it.. I’d rather drink slightly more bitter coffee and keep under my limit than have foam and OR OR OR I could do my fix it fast out of order and do a 442 tomorrow

ALRIGHT and I work 4 days coming up,, so in accordance hereS how it’ll be ( moons for work days )

Sat: 442

Sun: 742

🌙Mon: 42

🌙Tues: 42

🌙Wed:42

Thurs: 742

Fri: 742

🌙Sat: 42

Sun: 742:

Mon: 42

Tues: 42

Wed: 42

Okay after next Sunday I don’t know yet if I work on mon or Tuesday but either way it doesn’t matter cause work days would be 42 and ITS PERFECT TO END THE fix it fast because will be burning so much fat on 4 days at 42 cal.. ughhahahahajaajaj

Okay okay.. this will be good.. tomorrow rises a skinny bitch and soon my body will show for it.. especially after this.. I don’t know.. guess it makes sense to try and aim for losing 7 pounds soo assuming I’m 113, goal is 106 on April 4. 113 is probably where I’m at since after purging I’m weight 115 ish.. and a day or two of fasting would put me at a more accurate 113.. alright 106 in 12 days. And 12 is soul’s number… it’s PERFECT. I’m doing closing shifts so that’s perfect too. I work right through dinner, and I can come come and make it a ritual to have green tea or the peppermint one.. I’ll write down my stretches and mini workouts to do.. maybe on my off days I’ll wake up steadily earlier and earlier.. and go on morning walks for 42 minutes.. ah I’m excited! This will be good. I can do this.

Oh my god I estimated and by his birthday June first by keeping all this up and togther I’ll be 93.. 1 pound below my old low weight.. after all this time.. and for his birthday! PROGRESS progress and by my birthday I’ll be 87 a pound under my old UGW before it dropped to 84 and 84 I’ll hit a week before July ends!.. I’ll be getting so skinny through spring.. and spend the beginning of summer, going from 89-84 pounds.. good god.. I have to do it. I don’t care. I don’t care. I’m ready to be toned and strong again. I’ll put in the work on my own to strengthen my core, and being consistent with work will help with that too. I’m going to be able to pay for things and make it everyday without b/p because I’m above that. I’m an Angel, I’m going to make my partner the best death weapon.. 3 months and a half we’ll have victory. I have to be strong, pure and sound, if we’re going to be the best we can be. By example it’ll inspire soul to work harder too. Match wavelengths. My hair will be back longer again too.. by end July it should be back down to my collarbone.. which means my hair should be long enough for pigtails again! I’ve missed them so much!

[whentherewerebicycles]

today is my first full non-workday alone in over three weeks and I give myself full permission to savor it without any guilt or sense of obligation to anyone. here are some things I’d like to do:

read the last 40 pages of ninth house

get a decent ways into nona the ninth so I don’t interrupt my novel-reading rhythm. I might take my hammock somewhere to read later tbd as I find that putting my phone out of reach and having dedicated hammock time is a good way to jumpstart the next book

last night I started messing around with an old WIP that I meant to finish for a fest last summer but didn’t, which I still think has some interesting stuff in it (not to mention about 20k of existing draft material to work with). I can’t tell if I’m intrigued enough by it to start the revision process but I do notice that every time I open the draft doc I end up adding to it, so idk. I also have this other purely self-indulgent fantasy AU that has just been a fun world to play in for the last couple weeks when I needed a distraction, so I might tinker around with that a bit more too. so maybe I’ll sit out on the deck at some point with my laptop and play play play for a bit

I want to cook something, probably while on the phone with liz… she sent me a cookbook recently that I liked a lot and I want to try a few of the small plates recipes from it either today or tomorrow

on a related note I want to sit down and do some journaling about the next steps in my learning to cook journey. I’m at the point where I feel confident in my ability to execute easy to moderately complex recipes well & with consistent results—ie if I make the same dish multiple times it’ll taste reasonably good the first time, better the second time when I incorporate the modifications I came up with, and pretty consistently good every time I make it after that. I also feel like once I read a recipe all the way through I don’t need to consult it very often during the cooking process because I’m less focused on what’s on the page and am instead tasting and testing and monitoring what’s happening with the food & adjusting accordingly. but I would really like to become the kind of cook who can look at the ingredients at hand & prepare a meal without a recipe or with only the loose outlines of a recipe based on my understanding of how things fit together and what the components of a good meal are. and I think in order to level up in that way I will really have to sit down and start designing some structured learning challenges for myself, and I’ll also need to build in lots of metacognitive writing along the way to make sure I’m consolidating what I’m learning and applying it to future situations. anyway this is the kind of self-teaching/learning design work I love and I am excited to spend some time thinking about it this weekend.

nice long walk with the dogs… maybe on the off leash trail in the “weekend woods” aka the nearby trail system I for some reason only visit on weekends even though it’s like a 3 min drive from my house lol. Pip will love that

that’s it today is just a day of rest and play!!

[just-jess-78]

I texted him this morning and asked if he could please find someone to stay until he leaves to go back to Texas for work. It’s too uncomfortable and after this weekend that is only going to amplify it. My son has finals in three AP classes this week. I can’t even shower straight…I used body wash in my hair tonight and tried to lather up with conditioner. Yesterday I meant to pour my coffee in the sink but poured right in the floor. I realized today after meal prepping for the week that I hadn’t ate since Tuesday night. I hate uncertainty and I hate feeling like he could walk in anytime he wanted to. It scares me.

Anyway that was at 6:30 this morning. My plan she would still be in bed with him and he would tell her what I said and then how would he explain coming home to his wife when she doesn’t want him there and knows he has a friend he can stay with. Ehhh…gotta think like em sometimes. He just texted back at 10:24 and said “sounds good I’ll be there around 1ish” I’m assuming to get his stuff. I can’t even explain how much better I feel knowing that he’s not going to try crawling his ass in bed with me again.

I want to put his stuff on the porch but I’m not really mad enough to let the whole neighborhood see that shit. If he’d have hit me with this in about ‘98 I would have already poured bleach on every single Sunday Swagger shirt he owns.

I hate that I have to see him again. Maybe I should leave while he’s here. But then again why the fuck would I let a stranger come in my house and leave. He feels completely unknown to me. I have no idea who he is.

I hope he’s enjoyed his little weekend because there isn’t enough money in the world to make me trade places with him right now. I never want to have to fucking date and do all that bullshit again. I know that might change and I’m not saying that I’m giving up on love but they will just need to show up and want to hang out because that’s all I have in me.

That’s how I’ve always ended up with people that I’m 100% not compatible with. I’m single, I start getting invited to do shit and I agree because I feel like I can’t say no ALL the time. So I’m already in an atmosphere where people are doing none of the things I do. Talking about none of the things I like talking about but yet I walk out with a husband 🤷🏻‍♀️ that’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard of.

They’re going to have to catch me at the bookstore or the record store or on a ski lift somewhere in the mountains because if I have to go to the club to find it then it can go ahead and call Tyrone too because I don’t want it.

Next step…make through 1ish tomorrow and then it’s “Arrivederci, mother lover” and maybe then I’ll be able to eat and think and plot better. Muahahaha