#if some asshole can be liked for who they are then who tf are you that you can't?!

[nymph-ette111]

Hello again! Its me the one who requested the proxies with a forest ranger S/o

I sawed your post and kinda went 😮 when I found out forest rangers and fire looksouts aren’t the same thing too ngl. I originally got the idea when I watched/played ‘Fears to fathom: Ironbark lookout’. I actually looked it up and I guess the correct term would be “Park ranger” (I still don’t know bro I could be wrong) but I originally got the idea from the fears to fathom so I guess you could kinda base it off that (minus the cult) but I just thought it would be a cool idea. Like for example on the fire watch aspect, Tim is chronic Smoker and Toby is canonically a pyromaniac (idk about brain in this situation) so like Tim could be smoking or toby could be setting something on fire and you would be side eyeing tf out of them. OR, You could just be trying to peacefully sleep in your watch tower (assuming there is one) and One of them would be knocking at your damn door/window in the dead ass of the night and your just there either terrified, confused, or annoyed (its up to your interpretation).

But anyway sorry for the ramble and confusion, As always I appreciate you and hope you have a wonderful day (remember to drink water) buh/bye now <3

(♡) Authors note; in my old author's note I literally said it was inspired byironbark lookout but then I hesitated bcs I thought it wasn't what you're looking for. good thing I didn't delete the previous work :3 SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT I DIDN'T HAVE ANY MOTIVATION TO WRITE ANYTHING :(

HOODIE;

-before the relationship between you two, he knew about your job as a park ranger/ fire lookout.

-actually, he knew about everything. From the tasks you usually handle to your working schedule.

-the reason he didn't kill you off was because part of your job is keeping campers away from the unregistered camp grounds which was quite convenient on his part. (Perhaps convenient for all of them)

-that way he wouldn't risk getting caught on the way/back from a mission, even though he usually drives to his destinations with a beaten up old truck. He knows how nosey some people are and would definitely pull a curiosity move and possibly find his resort.

-but he also couldn't let you run around freely around the forest either, he just kept an eye on you for a while in case you were too close to finding out about his...'business'

-i can see him stalking you slowly seeping into his routine. could be out of curiosity or genuine interest.

-during your relationship, he'd drop by from time to time in the watch tower even though it's against the rules. He'll be careful, he says.

-he's still an asshole very much like his friends, would probably disregard his mudded hiking boots by the entrance and just throw himself on your bed. Not caring if whatever substance he was covered in (blood) stains your bedsheets or something.

-to make up for it he cooks you food with whatever ingredients you have to offer :3 I like to think he's a good cook, staying out in the forest for long periods of time gained him that skill.

-if he isn't too busy, you two would watch the scenery together :) a little nice bonding moment.

MASKY;

-sigh... This motherfucker would NOT be good company for you at all.

-you could be sleeping peacefully just to wake up and find him standing at the foot of your bed just...staring.

-he's making sure they don't get you lol

-who the fuck is "they" (...does anyone get the reference)

-steals any lighters he finds in the shack just to light up his cigarettes.

-yes, when he puts out his cigarettes he just throws them on the ground. not caring if it's against the rules to litter the forest. at this point they're all trying to get you in trouble whether it's intentionally or not.

-unlike Toby, he doesn't help around that much with your tasks.

-if you manage to convince him to bring up some firewood from the shack so you can light up the fire, just praise him. it's enough to boost his already humongous ego and he might consider helping every now and then just so you could call him your strong, manly boyfrie–

TOBY;

-This stupid fucker would send you disturbing messages on his old ass flip phone at night whenever you still have the planks up.

-some shit like 'i c yu :-)'

-... yeah he never likes typing his sentences properly because he still uses those number keyboards (I don't know what they're called)

-it gives you a heart attack everytime untill you look out the window and see that it's Toby being a weirdo again.

-like anon said, he always sets random stuff on fire which always gets him in trouble, you end up reminding him that you aren't the only fire lookout in the forest and that another worker will report it.

-he doesn't listen.

-he definitely scares off any campers in areas they aren't supposed to be. Hey, at least he isn't completely useless!

-the opposite of Brian/Hoodie, instead of cooking for you he absolutely ravishes anything you have in the fridge.

-no, he isn't sorry.

-other than the things that he does to piss you off he actually does help from time to time like helping you fill in the service reporting— using the anemometer, checking the thermometer...etc

-he thinks the devices look neat :)

[the-very-rubiest]

Alright my lovely mutuals, I'm pulling you aside for a sec.

Every day I come on here and see so many of you talking badly about yourselves. Every day I open this website and see lovely, kind, passionate, creative, talented people calling themselves unlovable, unworthy, unwanted, and so many other nasty things that they don't deserve. And I get it. When you grew up being made to feel like you were all these things, not internalizing that thought is goddamn hard. But I'm still here to tell you all a story.

Last semester I knew a guy who was, frankly, the biggest Negative Nancy I've ever met. I don't remember a single time he had something nice to say about anything. Personally, I thought he was a bitch and had to bite my tongue really hard to keep from arguing with him. Sometimes I failed.

But guess what? The guys in my group loved him. They thought he was the funniest guy on earth, did activities with him, invited him to visit each other's places after the semester ended and everyone returned home. In fact, he was better liked in that group than I was—he was consistently included while I was slowly iced out, because I guess having one random girl there ruins the feeling of boys' night. (Which I understand, I just think they handled it poorly.)

Another time, in the intro group I mentored, there was one of the creepiest men I've ever met in my own age range. I won't get into the details of his creepery, only that he made me and several other girls severely uncomfortable every time he'd had a few drinks, and sometimes even sober. The kind of person where you really, really ask yourself how anyone could possibly stand their company.

But guess what? For the longest time, the whole group still enjoyed his company. They thought he was fun, they included him in conversations and on the dancefloor at parties; and even after he'd crossed the line so many times that we mentors were considering kicking him out, the very girls who had brought it to us were willing to give him another chance after he'd apologized. In my opinion it wasn't even an apology. But people were still willing to keep including him.

And those are just two examples. I've met many, many people. And I can give you many, many stories of people who were mean, selfish, immature, or objectively terrible who others saw, flaws and all, and still considered worth their time. Who still had friends, even close ones (and yes—often perfectly lovely people), who looked past their bullshit and enjoyed their company.

Now let me ask you a question.

Do you seriously think you're less worthy of people's love, time and attention than people who don't even try to be likable, considerate, or remotely kind?

There is no magical threshold for how amazing, charismatic, and super speshiful you have to be to be liked by others. If you feel like you always have to be perfect, always interesting, never make a single mistake, to be liked—you're probably with the wrong crowd. If the people around you make you feel like that: You. Are. With. The. Wrong. Crowd. There's nothing wrong with you. And finding the right people is hard, especially as an adult with limited time and energy, but you have to hold onto the knowledge that this isn't all that's in the cards for you. You're not hopeless.

Or maybe it's not even that. Maybe you just lack confidence. And listen, I get it. I, too, grew up as "the friend nobody liked" for many years. But you know what helps? Pretending to have confidence. If you go into interactions convinced that nobody cares anyway, or that you're annoying, or whatever else you tell yourself—that belief will show, and other people will pick up on it and think the same. You gotta stand behind yourself. That's the whole trick all the above-mentioned people used to get a foot in the door—they believed they were worthy of everyone else's time and energy, so others believed it too.

And I know this speech won't make deeply ingrained feelings of inadequacy or loneliness go away overnight. It won't change old patterns. But maybe it'll give you food for thought. Because if you care about your surroundings, and you try to be kind, and you have things you love and care about—what more can anyone expect from you? What more can you expect from yourself?

[satanfemme]

my parents are fucking assholes and every day I pray for a heart attack or something. :|

[snekdood]

I feel like the idea of "forgiveness" for people who've hurt you is like... Pretty christian based? Bc ngl. Why tf am i forgiving someone who abused me a lot. If we're talking "mental peace"... Well bud i kinda just gotta not think about it or when i do to work on my emotions around it so i can cope better with my trauma. Literally why am i forgiving people who dont regret hurting me and who would never apologize and how exactly does that bring more "peace"? Bc personally id feel like im ignoring something that bothers me a lot just so i can tolerate being around it when idk. Theres people who i definitely dont need to tolerate being around lol.

[siriuslynephilim]

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[ellemj]

Wear That Again: 12 Days of Smut #7

Bucky Barnes x Reader One-Shot

This fic was inspired by two things:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8Ha16Rj/ this Tiktok edit by @the.stark.internship ( @thestarkinternship on Tumblr)

@littlemiss-yeehaw's latest smutty drawing which can be found on her blog, I've stared at it since yesterday and I'm still not over it.

Summary: Bucky ruins your brief holiday romance with a SHIELD agent out of jealousy. You'd think storming in and yelling at the super soldier would've ended in an argument and some slamming doors, but that's not what happens at all.

Warnings: profanity, some objectifying thoughts, possessive!Bucky, jealous!Bucky, thigh riding, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: I don't know how tf it's happening but y'all have me averaging 1.2k notes per day on my blog for the last couple of days and it feels surreal. Also I just want to say, I wrote Bucky out-of-character for this one-shot and this is not how I imagine he'd be at all, but it was fun to write hehe.

            “You little fucking shit.” You finally snap as the elevator doors are opening to let you out into the common living area of the tower. “Bucky, you are such an asshole.” You’re absolutely livid, and if your words hadn’t showed that then your actions sure would’ve. You’re slamming your hands down on the kitchen island before the elevator doors have even fully closed. Bucky sits on a barstool with a near straight face, completely unaffected by your rage and only briefly looking up at you as he chews through a bite of his Chinese takeout. “You’re the reason he stood me up, aren’t you? What the hell did you do this time?”

            “Wear that outfit again.”

            You’re silent for the longest moment yet, at least fifteen seconds, and Bucky thinks it might be a new record for you. He hasn’t paid attention to a damn thing you’ve said since you walked in, but he sure as hell paid attention to what you chose to wear tonight. You were supposed to be going on your third date with a SHIELD agent who crossed your path a number of times professionally before finally asking you out two weeks ago, and with it being just six days until Christmas, you were dressing for the occasion tonight. You’re wearing a tight black turtleneck sweater that’s tucked neatly into the tiniest holiday-themed miniskirt you could find. It's a sort of festively-colored tight plaid skirt that barely covers a thing, but you didn’t wear it for any reason other than to encourage your date to rip it off of you later. However, Bucky made sure the poor guy wouldn’t even get the chance to see the damn thing.

            “What did you just say to me?” Your voice is shaking but not with fear, no. It’s shaking with the sheer amount of anger that’s currently eating you alive. Bucky lifts his gaze to meet yours as he sets his chopsticks down and picks up his half-empty beer bottle from the countertop. Letting his eyes roam over the entirety of your figure that isn’t obscured by the kitchen island, he boldly repeats himself.

            “Wear that again.”

            “If you like it, I’m burning it.” You say defiantly, crossing your arms over your chest as you glare at the man before you. Bucky lets out a low laugh now, the sound is melodious but his gaze hardens and narrows as he focuses in on your face.

            “If I like it?” All he can think about is pushing you up against a wall, lifting the back of that tiny little piece of fabric you call a skirt, and fucking you until Christmas morning. If he likes it? Hell, he fucking loves it.

            “That’s it, I’m burning it.” You’ve had enough. First, he ruins your short-lived holiday romance. Then, he has the audacity to act like your outfit is doing something for him. As you said before, he’s a little fucking shit. You shoot him one last passing glare as you move around the island and start heading toward the hallway, ready to lock yourself in your room and plot his demise for the rest of the night. But Bucky just can’t let you have the last word, and he sure as hell can’t let you walk away from him looking like something that belongs under the Christmas tree. Or more accurately, something that belongs under him.

            The two of you have done this dance so many times that you aren’t even surprised when you hear his barstool slide away from the island seconds before you feel a firm hand gripping your forearm and yanking you backward. You’re not surprised when suddenly, your front is pushed roughly against the wall of the hallway and his lips graze over the shell of your ear. Frustratingly, you’re not even a little bit surprised when you feel heat rushing through your body and settling between your legs.

            “You’ll wear that outfit again, when I tell you to.” Bucky’s tone is so much less indifferent than it was only a moment ago. It’s so full of lust that it leaves you trembling, awaiting whatever his next move may be. He knows no one else is in the tower tonight, which means if he wanted to, he could take you right here in the hallway and not feel an ounce of guilt over it. Who’s he kidding? He’s done that before even with everyone in the tower, and guilt sure wasn’t the feeling he felt afterward. But he wants you in his room tonight. You and that fucking skirt.

            Bucky takes your silence as obedience and steps away from you, letting you push yourself off of the wall and turn around to face him. If you’re being honest, you’re a little disappointed. That’s all he wants from you tonight?

            “How long has it been since the last time we had sex?” Bucky questions. He knows you remember, probably down to they very hour. He remembers, but he has to make sure you do too.

            “Two weeks.” You haven’t slept with Bucky since the SHIELD agent asked you out. Bucky mulls over the length of time in his mind. He wants to remedy that, he wants to fuck you tonight, but he won’t. You started seeing someone and threw Bucky to the side so easily that him waiting two weeks to ruin your dating life was the nicest possible thing he could’ve done in retaliation. He’s not going to give you what you need now, at least not everything you need.

            Bucky’s silent as he pushes open his bedroom door and waits for you to step inside before him. He’s still silent as he sits on the edge of the bed and beckons you to stand between his legs. He begins raking his hands up the outsides of your thighs, sliding them underneath your skirt until he feels the waistband of your sheer tights. He isn’t so silent when he begins sliding those down your legs, letting out a soft groan when his hands meet your bare skin underneath. It’s been too fucking long since he’s touched you and an unfamiliar peace settles in his soul when he feels your warmth. You’re expecting him to rip the tights off, followed by the skirt and everything else you’re wearing. However, Bucky’s plan involves keeping you nearly fully clothed, and only partially satisfied. Once he has your heels and tights on his bedroom floor, he kneads your ass underneath your skirt, letting his fingertips brush over the fabric of your thong. God, he’s really practicing his restraint tonight. His cock is already hard, threatening to rip the seam of his pants with even the slightest movement, but he isn’t planning on getting his own fix tonight.

            “Sit.” He commands, gripping your hips with both hands and pulling you down to straddle one of his thighs. As soon as your clothed core makes contact with the toned muscle of his thigh, you stiffen and try to shift your weight so you won’t be so stimulated. Bucky makes an annoyed face at you before slipping one hand back underneath your skirt and drawing your panties to the side, causing your wet clit to press against the fabric of his pants. “I’m not rewarding you for spending your time with some other guy for the last two weeks, I’m not having sex with you.”

            You’re about to protest, to tell Bucky that he’s being sensitive, that the two of you never had any rules about dating, but Bucky senses your opposition and begins dragging you back and forth over his thigh. He looks down between the two of you as a wet spot quickly begins forming where your pussy meets his clothed leg. Fuck. It feels too good for you to even consider stopping and telling him that he’s an asshole. So, you go along with his guiding movements, grinding against his leg and finding just the right amount of pressure and friction to start heading toward an orgasm.

            “You didn’t have to scare the guy off.” You mutter as you lean forward, letting your hands rest on Bucky’s shoulder as you place a gentle kiss against the side of his neck. He sighs and tilts his head to the side to give you better access, but his hands continue to guide the movement of your hips.

            “Three dates were enough. I couldn’t stand it anymore.” He admits. You feel an odd sense of pride surge through you at his words, though you have no idea if he’s being honest or not. “I couldn’t let him have you like this.” You suck on the skin just beneath Bucky’s left ear and pick up the pace with which you’re grinding on his thigh.

            “Fuck, James.”

            Bucky knows this isn’t the right time for the conversation, so as you grind out an orgasm on his thigh, letting out the most heavenly moans and whimpers just for him, he tells himself to hold it together until Christmas. That’s when he’ll tell you. That’s when he’ll tell you that he wants more than the angry, hateful late-night rendezvous in his room or yours. He wants more than sitting around waiting for you to come home from a date while he nearly goes insane with jealousy. He wants more of you. Fuck, he wants all of you.

            Just as you’re coming undone on his thigh while moaning his name and squeezing his shoulders, he lets his hands snake underneath your little plaid skirt. He grips your ass with both hands, digging his fingertips into the supple skin there as he leans into your neck. You feel him take a deep breath in as you’re coming down from your orgasm high.

            “Why do you always smell so fucking good?” He asks, licking a small stripe up the side of your neck before pressing his lips against it in a soft kiss. You only hum lightly in response, your brain not quite ready to formulate a full sentence. Bucky presses a second kiss to your neck, and then a third as his works his way up to your lips. His hands move to smooth over the fabric of that little skirt that he can’t seem to get over. “Stay away from the fireplace this week. I can’t have you burning this skirt.”

TAG LIST: @sunnyhummingbee @gyokujyn @jenniferpendragon @thealloveru2 @siciliano13 @ordelixx @crist1216 @twlkdead @claireelizabeth85 @charmedbysarge @wishingforwonderland @mrsjoequinn @nixxaswrld @sweettae02 @frombkjar @hellfirebabe @edelweissbarnes @fandomsfeminismandme @missadored

[deadghosy]

HAZBIN HOTEL X ALBERT/FLAMINGO! READER

prompt: after causing chaos in life is paradise, you accidentally clicked the wrong “alt” button.

Oh wow- listen…I’m in my Albert phase guys…so yeah. ANYWAYSSS-

You just got done making your Roblox video as you wanted to exit out of it. You were going for the alt + 4 button only for the alt to look red and shine into your face. The light blinding your sight made you scream as you opened your eyes to see you are in a new area.

…. “Am I in hell…” you said in a high pitch voice. You panicked out a pitch scream gaining weird looks from the sinners. You still kept your human look but as you screamed, the control panel of admins show up. You stopped screaming immediately with an “oh.” And smiled evily

After wrecking most of the pride ring, you felt tired. Seeing an advertisement on tv about a hotel that redeems sinners, you thought maybe you could do some good here. So you pulled out a keyboard and type to teleport to the said hotel

You can go into the wrath, pride, and gluttony ring. It’s pretty real as you have the wrath to destroy things when pissed off. You’re prideful that you can’t be destroyed, and you have the gluttony to eat. A lot.

I can see you just having a small flamingo demon pet following you around. Literally you would make it bite and stab people. You taught it how to do the billy bounce.

The crew most definitely thought you were schizophrenic because you talk out loud as if you were talking to someone 

BIG HEADCANNON THAT YOU HAVE ZOOMIES AROUND THE HOTEL😭

“I start stabbing, now that the lights are out?” “Albert/Reader, please no.” Charlie says holding your arms down. The power went out and you were craving blood.

You’re just a little gremlin :D

Imagine how chaotic it was to not fling someone out of the hotel for fun 😭 LMAO A SINNER FLINGING ACROSS THE WHOLE PENTAGRAM.

“I’m taking away their happiness in a good way!” You say smiling as you drag a resident away from Charlie who seems traumatized. You were like an alastor 0.2 but more happy actually.

LMAO YOU HAVING A BAN HAMMER SO WHEN A RESIDENT IS BEING AN ASSHOLE YOU JUST SLAM THE HAMMER ON THEIR HEAD WITH A “BOOP”

I can imagine you having the same physique as the og Albert. Literally one minute you look like your animal crossing character, and the next thing they know you are some buff Florida man.

“I’m going to make them regret being born.” You said as you clicked an admin that made your skin black with red eyes. The angels came towards you as your cut their heads off.

The whole cast was in shocked seeing a human like you being so powerful with just a panel no one can touch.

“Being a baby will not prevent me from shooting you.” You said jokingly as this toddler was winning uno. The mother ran away with her child as you screamed out uno.

Angel started to rant about what he does for his job and how he basically seller his soul to this moth porn demon. After he told you things what the demon does to Angel. You snapped.

“BITCH I WILL SHOOT YOU!” Yells reader as they cocked their gun. Basically the whole crew has to hold you back as Valentino is pissing himself.

Vox didn’t even know who you were until Valentino started having nightmares and random shadows in his room. (The shadows were you lol) Vox had to look you up and try to find who tf you were. You were a YouTuber. That all it showed up on his feed as he scoffs.

Husk has no opinion on you. He only knows you as that guy with a flamingo. He would sometimes side eye you while you do crazy shit. But matter of fact you two are chill.

“We have different ways of expressing ourselves..” you say to Angel trying to comfort him. “I like this way, he can’t defend himself. And I like that.” You say shooting down a sinner while in battle. Angel dust just side eyes you as if you were actually crazy.

You’re not allowed to go into turf war with him no more.

Velvette has no legit problems with you. Dead ass you and her might be fashion partners. HAVE YOU SEEN ALBERT’S DRIP ON INSTA?! That MAN IS GOOD!

You have so much wanted posters, even you brag to others at how cool you look while destroying someone’s house. All because you were bored.

Charlie is mostly worried for your mental health while Vaggie just knows that you aren’t really the most mental stable in the group.

“STOP DOING THAT! STOP CRYING! What are you a baby?!” You say while smacking away a whole imp baby that was crying beside you on the merry-go-round

Charlie’s eyes widen at what you did. You were like a man child.

I can headcannon you deadass bombed the Vees tower out of pettiness. It was just funny seeing Vox shocked to his damn boots that his home was now gone.

Lucifer made you a duck flamingo cause of how he was trying to be nice to you. He knew you wasn’t a sinner or an angel of sorts. But you were a human that he never seen before. He probably makes you some damn pancakes if you want them.

Lucifer would probably ask if you have a flamingo demon form because you told the crew that you go by flamingo and Albert. You just stood there confused to what this short man was saying. But you just nodded trying to see if you could actually turn into a flamingo.

Headcannon on you just actually helping around by just replacing and changing furniture. You help Charlie with trust exercises as the resident are just confuse at a human being here.

“WHO needs powers, when you have a gun!” You yell excited pulling out a gun from your admin control. You shot downa sinner who was trying to fight you. Alastor just doesn’t see why how your “guns” are more powerful. They don’t even have angelic metal.

Carmilla carmine had seen how you legit shot an angel down with a simple looking gun. It was insane but amazing. She definitely called you down to her place so she can see what your bullets are made out of.

Imagine how you basically see people’s/sinner’s names as if it was a name tag aka username. You would go around saying their name out loud as they look at you scared and crazy. “Hello Hakka!” “How you know my name?!!!!” 😕

Rosie adores you, you may be man child that’s like a gremlin. But you are so sweet and helping. Alastor made you meet her and honestly, it was a great meet and greet. Honestly 10/10.

Headcannon on you and Niffty both killing bugs together. You use your ban gun as Niffty uses a sewing needle. This sweet girl made you a big crown, you better appreciate it.

Alastor had messed with your food making you pissed off. It was the end of the day and you hadn’t eat anything due to not taking care of yourself much. So your reaction was justified when you see alastor’s grins widening.

“I hope you choke on your next meal.” You say as your voice had suddenly boomed across the hotel. It was like as if your mic boosted it, but you don’t have one.

You and Alastor have like a sibling relationship as you two just want to watch people suffer. Literally it’s funny as hell when it’s that one Xbox meme.😭

“MOM SAYS ITS MY TURN TO CAUSE SUFFERING!” You say trying to get over Alastor’s tall body as he causes chaos in the pentagram city.

Sir Pentious didn’t like you at all. Like he was actually scared at his crazy and psychotic you are at times. But when he saw how calm and laid back you actually were. He actually started to warm up close to you. 

The egg boiz follow you around asking if your pet flamingo could play with them. It was so cute as they play with your pet flamingo.

Cherri absolutely loves you and your destructive behavior. Literally you two are a deadly duo cause you would give her some of your admin powers and take it back.

You once actually set up a limb store, literally you were getting that money✨😈 you had chopped off so much limbs got your deer customers.

I can see you actually taking people’s souls lol. You just take souls for fun and not for contract which leaves some overlords confused and scared of your powers.

Heaven would be scared of you personally. Like you are such a menace, sera sent your ass back to hell. Your human appearance was still the same tho lol.

Adam and you, beef on sight. “Why do you even have that pink bird? What are you, ret@rded?” “No but your mother is.” You said back while flipping him off.

Sera doesn’t like you. Your chaotic energy and your “evil” doing are not prohibited in paradise. She might tell Big G about how a human is in hell in perfect condition.

Emily heard about your presence by sera, she wanted to meet you but then again. You are back in hell. But she hopes to meet you one day.

See, me personally you would rob a bank for fun and then give it to some homeless imps in the wrath ring. It’s just you doing random shit while bored.

I can imagine you turning someone into the hulk. You deadass have so much power that it’s concerning and crazy for the hotel crew and rest of hell. You have alot of powers and you can turn people into some green buff human?!?

[occamstfs]

Roommates’ Trivial Tiff

Pretty standard nerdy asshole to himbo TF, who doesn't love some cosmic justice ! -Occam

“You just don’t understand what it’s like dude. You have no idea how hard all this stuff is for me.” Brock was struggling to get through to his roommate, someone he has time and time again been more than cordial with. In response Harvey scoffs and rolls his eyes refusing to engage and instead doubling down, “I’m sure it’s real difficult with all your paid tutors and your-” 

“You’re not even listening bro! You like to think you’re so elevated, like you have all the answers but you don’t even try to understand what anyone else is going through.” Harvey grimaces and briefly tosses about whether or not this is true but stubbornly neglects to internalize the criticism, “Uhh, I do too?” Brock bites his tongue to prevent just blowing up at his roommate and instead he tries a different angle, “Oh yeah? If that’s the case then, bet you know a lot about me huh? Since we’ve been roommates for a year now,” pausing as he narrows his eyes briefly at Harvey, “and ostensibly we’re friends right?”

Harvey struggles not to display his ever present irritation as he retorts, “Of course we are, uh, dude.” Brock does a better job hiding his intentions as he issues a challenge, “so if we were to say, quiz each other you think you’d come up on top lil dude?” With this gauntlet laid there is little recourse in Harvey’s mind but to accept it, there are few times he enjoys showing off so much as in a trivia contest. So what he might have a less than pristine record of respecting oafs like his roommate, he is certainly not to lose in any battle of the wits regardless of topic or stipulations there may be.

Brock puts out his hand and states the stakes, “You can of course bow out whenever, but uh, how about every question the winner takes something from the loser?” Harvey was resolved to win before hearing the terms and is now spitefully even more eager now as he eyes Brock’s side of the room looking for whatever his prize is sure to be.

Without any further clarification Brock promptly launches into the game, “I guess we’ll start real easy yeah? Only fair.” Harvey feels resentment start to brew as he feels he’s being talked down to as Brock goes on, “For starters then, What’s my major?” Harvey audibly gulps and feels his face blanche as he scrambles to find such an incredibly simple answer. This is such an obvious and pressing piece of information it would be impossible not to have it on deck.

Seeing the hesitation Brock laughs incredulously, “God dude are you kidding? How could you not know this, I-” He shifts his jaw waiting for the second shoe to drop as it is suddenly clear he is about to clean house, this asshole is going to learn respect by hook or by crook. Harvey’s eyes that were just hungrily looking through Brock’s possessions now retread their path, searching for the answer, his eyes linger on some sports bandages and protein powder and he kicks himself for forgetting. “Well duh dude, you’re doing a sports medicine or a trainer degree or whatever. Sorry that I forgot what the proper name is, it’s not exactly high in the list of things I need to know.”

Brock stares down at the clueless nerd before him and slowly shakes his head. “Not even close Harv. It’s-” Before he can finish though Harvey stands and shouts, “Don’t fucking call me that! I bet you don’t know mine either!” This leaves Brock aghast, he crosses his arms and narrows his eyes, “Of course I fucking do! You never shut up about it! I’m lucky if my headphones can block out you whining about homework while also constantly talking yourself up! It’s so, fucking, annoying!”

Hurt by this despite his typical apathy to others Harvey starts up once more, “Okay but you didn’t say-” “Computer Engineering.” Harvey blushes in shame, not over his disrespect but of getting the question wrong. Suddenly there’s a hum in the room and the shadows in the corner grow darker and Brock looks around, “Well I suppose that question really tees me up on what to take huh? I’ll take your major.”

“Wha?” caught on the other foot Harvey blinks and sees that his textbooks and assignments are suddenly piled on Brock’s desk. He feels anxiety rise in his chest unsure of what has happened though confident this must be a prank or something. “No no no that can’t be right? What is happening?” He then returns to look at his roommate once more, a scowl plastered on his face as Brock who, despite his impressive stature always aims to present as kind and gentle, cannot help but smirk as he feels he has gotten one over on this jerk.

He stretches, exposing his midriff and flexing  his arms behind his head, perhaps to try and allure or intimidate Harvey, he’s not sure, but Harvey is not going to just take this sitting down.Though at the present, he is too uncomfortable to even vocalize his discomfort as he stands there trying not to shake. Instead Brock begins once more, “Urgh kinda see what all that complaining was about now Harv, kinda got a lot on my plate now hah!”

Harvey stares daggers at his roommate, “Brock I don’t know what kind of nonsense is going through your dumbass ox brain. But it’s not funny, I’m sure you’re used to bullying little g-”

“Excuse me? I’m a bully!? I know you’re not saying that, I go out of my way to be kind, even to little chip on their shoulder assholes like you. I just,” Brock takes a deep breath and flexes his jaw before he continues. “It doesn’t matter actually. I trust you have a vested interest in trying again though right? Surely you want your major back?”

At the moment Harvey is caught between the idea that this is some kind of Christmas Carol-ass dream where he’s supposed to learn a lesson or once more that this is just a prank by Brock. Amenable as he’s always been, Harvey's convinced that behind this lunkhead is the vitriol of the typical jerk jock. In this impossible chance that this is reality though, he can’t just give up his major. He needs it to be an, uh? God what was, no what is his major anyway? 

Harvey looks around in shock as he suddenly can’t bring his current course schedule to his mind, but he was literally in class this morning right? He feels his coursework draining from his mind as fear and rage begin to rise in his frail body. Images of lecture halls and professors flash through his mind before they just as swiftly dissipate, somewhere within him deeper than memory he feels that he was studying something with numbers. Mathematics, physics, engineering, something he was good at. He is determined to get that back as he speaks up finally, “What is the next question.”

Brock smiles and toys around in his head, confident that he will end up on top. “How about you pick this one, give you a fighting chance.” Harvey purses his lips and struggles to produce a question that he knows the answer to that his roommate will not. Oh duh, he’ll just ask him a math question, easy! Certainly not the aim of the game but Harvey just needed to get his life back. “What’s a derivative.” 

“Kinda not in the spirit of the game dude but whatever. I took calc you know. It’s the rate of change in response to a variable. Now since you’re still being an ass how about I lob one back? How about you derivative 𝑓(𝑥)= 2cos⁡(𝑥)−6sec⁡(𝑥)+3?” Harvey is flat stunned, this is some entry level shit but he cannot for the life of him bring the information to mind. He’s just as sharp as he always has been but anything beyond rudimentary trig is continuing to trickle out of his mind. He meekly chuckles out, “uh easy, it’s f(x) equals, uh tan-”

There’s a blaring in his head as both men are aware of his immediate slip up. Energy once more rises in the air as Brock looks down almost pitifully at his roommate this time. “Now I am sorry for this Harvey but, oof that course load! Like you so relish to say, I am just not that bright hm?” Harvey shakes his head as he realizes the horror about to occur. Brock looks a little uncomfortable as he continues, “After failing to pull your little gotcha, I think I’ll just go ahead and have your intelligence.” 

Both men are instantly struck with headaches the likes of which neither could endure under normal circumstances. As soon as the pain arrives though it is converted into a deep profane pleasure. Pins and needles fill Brock’s mind as it becomes heavy. Ideas and understanding fill his mind as a euphoric warmth flows through him. Harvey had enjoyed learning without truly lifting a finger, he had flourished and gained knowledge through no effort on his part but simple absorption. Brock is overcome with the ease at which he will now flow through life. Equally is he overcome by the ecstasy within his body as it only continues to heighten.

Opposite him Harvey clutches at his head as now not only do his learned experiences at university vanish, but all of his capabilities as a student and academic. Even the pleading within his mind slows down as he feels his ability to swiftly process information breaks down. Harvey turns from the man across from him as Brock’s hands feel up and down his musculature in rapturous delight, just in time to see whatever books and tomes he had collected as trophies begin to fade into the aether along with his memories of reading them. He looks down at his hands in confusion and horror, even with his unaddled mind at full steam he could not make sense of what has befallen him. He knows this is not right.

He is unable to find any answers, though as he searches his brain he begins to find a pleasant warmth in the vacuum where there once was knowledge. While his mind has been emptied, the bulge in his crotch demands his attention, which shall likely be a constant issue now that his mind shall evermore be less than preoccupied. He feels his mouth start to fill with drool as he looks down at his cock as it almost feels larger than it should be. He almost laughs at the idea that from now on he may fully be thinking with his cock. He opens his mouth allowing drool to spill out which shocks him back to sense and he turns around to demand that Brock return this all to sense immediately.

Brock for his part is reclined in a chair just rubbing his cock over his shorts almost forgetting about what they had been doing not seconds earlier. He laughs as he sees the expression on Harvey’s face, “Woah dude sorry about that, got lost in my own mind for a second there! No wonder you had, or have rather, such an attitude problem. It all just came so easy to you didn’t it? I mean we could keep going if you want, what else do you have to lose yeah?” Harvey wipes the drool from his face and takes stock, he can still read, he is pretty confident he still passed high school, he remembers his life before whatever hell is currently happening as well as whatever this new reality is. He nods his head and pushes his erection down as it continues to rise upon seeing his roommate’s cocky repose. He answers, “let’s keep going. Your question right?”

Harvey can’t help but trace Brock’s traps as he shrugs, “If you insist lil bro. What’s my middle name?” He knows this one for sure, he would bring it out to tease his roommate as needed. Brock slams his arm down in excitement and shouts, “fucking Laurel!” then he recalls this is only half the battle, Brock must also get his wrong, “what’s mine?” Brock smirks once more and laughs as he stretches to scratch his back, his roommate hungrily staring, “you don’t have one dude”

The energy rushing between the two men is drastically different this time. Unlike the pleasurable prickles of knowledge or the soothing burn of loss there is a direct, deeper connection between the two. Brock’s grin grows wider as understands, “Oh I getcha, question’s a tie so we share the spoils Harv. Only fair that since you’ve the mind of a what, meathead? May as well have the body of one.”

Harvey watches as his roommate takes off his shirt, he feels a warmth in his chest as he stares directly at Brock’s pecs. His breath catches as he watches his roommate flex them and he feels a nervous energy begin to surge within his own. He’s never had pecs before but he feels his chest pushing, growing, into his shirt. He sees his nipples harden and grow too large to ever hide as his chest expands. His swallows to stop from drooling once more as he sees Brock pose and flex his massive biceps, forcing a burning delight down the whole of Harvey’s arms. He matches the pose of the powerful man he has spoken nothing but ill of and flexes, sweat immediately staining through his shirt as the energy and strain heats his body beyond reason.

At the same time both men drop into a crunch, there is a loud tear as the pants of both men tear as they reach the lowest point in the crunch as Harvey’s ass bursts larger and his thighs swell with strength well enough to carry his increasingly top heavy torso. Not only is Harvey to gain the muscle of a tight jock, but the masculinity expected. The cock he has been til now proud enough of pulses with his heartbeat, with each pump it gorges larger, veins thick as the ones surging down his biceps force his cock thicker and further down his strained shorts. He tears at his pants to free his bulge as his balls bloat to the size of eggs, they pull tight ass they’re exposed to the air and all the soreness, strain, and pain of his still growing body becomes agonizing delight.

Harvey’s eyes water as he struggles to even stay cogent with the pleasure and power coursing through him. He smells his new musk breaking through his senses. Through the burning bedlam across his body he feels a soothing burn as hair begins to sprout and thicken where every man should make clear his masculinity. His pubes thicken and curl beyond his waistline and his pits grow wild and begin to spread to make it clear they, nor his musk, can ever be contained.

He lies, sits, writhes, flexes, exists in nothing but pleasure for some time, no longer concerned for his lost intelligence, beyond the care of his education. His hands, larger and painted with still thickening hair, press tight against his body as he feels the new contours of his body. Each new valley and mountain is a testament to the ecstasy he shall now prioritize above all. Until his roommate’s voice breaks through the haze, “Fuck bro you’re really feeling yourself huh?” Harvey’s eyes open to see Brock’s arrogant sneer has only grown worse as he has contendly watch Harvey lavish his new corpus.

Harvey meets it with a scowl and Brock tilts his head, “Want to do one last question then, bro?” His smile grows tight as he tries not to laugh as the appellation of bro has become the paramount definition of this once genius. Harvey just nods his head, still understandably disoriented as he lies in a pool of his own sweat and pre that remains dripping directly onto the floor. Brock motions for him to ask whatever the presumably final question is but is met with a grunt and a wave of the hand. Brock grimaces slightly, “if you insist bud,” he grimaces slightly as he looks down at the man. Asshole he may have be, may still be even, surely there’s something Brock could do to fix even that. He leans to whisper the question in Harvey’s ear, “what color are my eyes.” 

Between grunts, Harvey strains to look at his roommate only to find them obviously closed. His body contorts with pain and pleasure as he feels the throes of defeat and one final lose begin to seize him. He groans out through clenched teeth as his jaw widens and his brows thicken as changes already begin to work upon his mind, “don’t… know…” Brock nods and sits next to his roommate laying Harvey’s head on his lap. At the point it would be a kindness for the man to forget his life before, and that is exactly what he is to do. 

Brock removes the memories and identity of the sour nerd that made life perpetually unpleasant not only for him, but anyone unlucky enough to grace his presence. His breathing speeds up as his body heat rises beyond imagination, sweat turning to steam in the cold dorm room as he shakes his head and clenches his fists. He writhes only briefly, each flex of his body a final protestation of Harvey as Brock erases even his name from his head. 

After a minute of this his body goes still before he opens his eyes blearily and groans. Still lying in Brock’s lap he stretches his arms, turning to smell his impossibly rank pits before turning it into a flex as he must do anytime he raises them. Brock watches this with trepidation, unsure of who exactly his roommate is to be now before suddenly a name surges into his mind, Bull. Perfect fodder for the jerk he once was and an apt name for the behemoth lying on his lap. Testing the waters Brock pats his chest to wake him up, “Morning Bull.”

He yawns and scratches at the same stubbled face he has always known and he sits up, “urgh got a massive headache bro, must have gone pretty hard to have a hangover this bad huhuh! Wanna go grab brekkie and hit up the gym?” Brock stifles a smirk and helps his roommate up to standing, slightly surprised to see him standing taller than himself before responding, “You got it big guy, how about you get some clothes on first though right?” Bull guffaws, looking down at his hairy sweat-drenched body as he throws an arm around his roommate, cock bobbing around in the open air, still chubbed up. “What would I do without you bro huhuh!” 

Brock looks to see all of Bull’s tops have changed to stringers and tanks. Where Harvey had nothing but pants Bull has piles of unwashed athletic shorts, one of which he promptly throws on, going commando. Seeing Brock watch him, Bull grabs at his crotch and juts at the door, “Come on bro! Faster we get a pump in faster we can get back here and have some fun dude.” 

With that Bull again throws his arm around Brock, once more smelling his b.o. as he almost deliberately spreads it on his roommate’s neck, like an animal marking its territory. The two then off to start their day, in Bull’s mind as they always have. Brock feels his crotch grow weightier as the amble down the hall, unsure if he’s made a horrible mistake in all this. Who is he to say what is too far in acts of cosmic retribution. Brock is certain at the end of the day he and Bull are at least to have quite a bit of fun.

[lovingmattysposts]

My Brother's Best Friend Part 6

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12

pairing: y/n and Chris Sturniolo

Summary: you just moved into the sturniolo’s home after some family issues and you’re starting to become attracted to your best friend’s brother and you hated yourself for it. But how could you resist?

warnings: cursing, mentions of family issues,

sorry this took a minute, love yall

xoxo Autumn

Chris pov

"A-Any of it? You don't remember any of it?" She asked looking up at me in almost fear, like she was questioning her own memory. Fuck. I pursed my lips and shook my head slowly, like my brain was rejecting my own response.

She just looked up at me evident hurt plastered on her face, she turned away to hide her expression as she nodded. I just looked down at her opening my mouth to say something but nothing came out.

I saw tears start to pool in her eyes. It felt like a punch in the gut. I'd never seen her cry before. I don't even think Nick has seen her cry. I stepped forwards before she turned without saying anything, basically sprinting towards the front door.

Like she couldn't stand standing in front of me for another second. I looked down, feeling guilt run down my entire body so much it ached.

She told me about what happened with her parents. I know what I said to her, I remembered all of it. It just felt too soon. I don't know. I'm an awful person. She hides her feelings so well, we have that in common. I didn't know my words effected her as they easily slipped off my lips.

I placed my hand on my forehead, before biting my lip and picking my head up letting out a breath.

I couldn't do this again. It wasn't fair to myself. I couldn't do this again.

I didn't meant to hurt her. I just wanted to protect myself. I didn't know meant that me turning into a complete insensitive asshole. That's not who I am and that's all i've been showing her.

"Three days ago I was good enough to kiss, then three seconds later it was just a moment and you don't have any feelings for me, this morning I was a kid, and now I'm pretty?"

I winced at the memory moving through my head. I''ll admit that it was easier to be open with how I feel about her when I was a little drunk. I'm to scared to in person, sober. It was like 15 year old Chris speaking for me while looking at her on the roof, spilling out my thoughts as she looked up at me the way she was.

Then 19 year old Chris woke up and was scared to get hurt again. It wasn't fair to her I get that, but I just wish she knew. But she didn't and she was never going to.

God, I need to burn that notebook. Even drunk seeing her holding it made my heart drop in fear.

I swallowed looking back towards the door.

I knew this would happen. The second she showed up at my front door with a bag the size of her. I knew it. I just hated myself for letting it happen, but not as much as I hated myself seeing her start to cry over my words.

I felt a buzz in my pocket, before sliding out my phone.

From: Elmer

Bro where tf u at?? were about to start

I bit my lip looking back up to the door. Before typing up a reply.

From: Elmer

something came up, i'll catch you later

I sent it before taking a deep breath and turning and walking down the street. I had to make this right.

Y/n pov

Nick sighed running his hands through my hair, as I let out a deep breath. I closed my eyes not my now damp eyelashes brushing my skin. Nick let out a breath.

"Can you tell me what happened?" He asked softly from above me. I went running to Nick's room, due to the fear of Chris bursting through the door to chase after me, newsflash y/n he didn't, but I knew he wouldn't come into Nick's room.

I crying uncontrollably not able to make any words form, just helpless cries. I don't know the last time I cried the way I just did. It might have been a year. Or at least 8 months.

I was like the tip of the iceberg that was already falling over. Just that last final push of being punched in the face by someone I cared about screaming "I don't care and I never did" directly in my face after I let my walls come down.

I let out a breath my cries finally stopping. He just peered down over me. I looked up at him.

"I'm a mess Nick" I breathed. He smiled slightly down at me, making me slightly smiling, then dropping it. I looked down at my hands and peering at the door.

He never came after me. He meant it. He had no idea what happened last night and he didn't see me cry. I swallowed, feeling the familar feeling pass through me like a wave of relazation.

I have to move on, again. Someone hurt me and broke me again. I had let someone gain my trust and they smashed in front of my face, again. How could I be so stupid? So navié. I will never learn.

For the rest of my life I will let someone in and they will burn me. I've never know anything differently. What hurt the most in the dissapointment at myself, was that I told Chris what happened before my best friend.

Chris wasn't the one soothing my cries. Nick was. Chris wasn't the one wiping away my tears. Nick was. I had put my romantic feelings for someone over my friendship with Nick, and I hated myself for it. The worst part was that I was feeling the guilt of the situation Nick had no idea about. Worst of all, It was his fucking brother.

I sighed swallowing, looking up at him.

"I just-" I took a deep breath. "I'm tired of trusting people" I said honestly looking up at him. He nodded. "I get that" He said softly. I closed my eyes.

"I'm not trying to get you to tell me something you don't want to, but did something happen at your mom's?" He asked softly, making my heart clench. Chris didn't have to do anything and I openly told him everything when he didn't ask for it. Nick saying this to me only made me feel like a worse friend.

"My mom kicked me out of the house that's why I came to stay here Nick" I admitted looking up at him. His face didn't wavor and he just nodded looking down at me.

"I just-" I sighed feeling guilty for saying I was crying over my mother when I wasn't. I was crying because his brother punched me in the gut and spit in my face.

"Seeing her, it was just-" I shook my head. He nodded, moving his hand back over my hair. I bit my lip. I hated lying to him. I fucking hated it.

I heard the door start to creek open and my eyes shot to the door, before seeing Matt peeking his head in. I sighed of relief. Matt glanced from Nick to me. He studied my face and I looked away from him, guilt present on my face.

"Is everything okay in here?" He asked his eyes not leaving mine as i avoided is gaze. Nick looked up at him. "Yeah, everything's good" Nick answered for me as I stared at the ground.

Matt shifted on his feet before crossing his arms over his chest. "Y/n, why are you crying?" He asked. I blinked up at him as he stared straight at me. I felt his mind, so much it hurt.

"Matt" Nick said shaking his head. Matt looked from me to him. I sat up sighing. "My mom doesn't love me. Would you like me to alaborate Matthew?" I asked tilting my head at him.

His face dropped and he uncrossed his arms. "Oh uh, I'm sorry i'll just leave you guys be" He said shaking his head and then turning to leave. I sighed laying back down. I'm getting way too good at lying.

I looked over at Nick, who was shaking his head. I smiled over at him.

"Do me a favor" I breathed. He just glanced over at me. "Never let Holton treat you badly" I stated looking at him. His eyebrows furrowed at my statement. He leaned back.

"What does that have to do with anything?" He asked blinking at me. If you only knew. I shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't want anyone to ever hurt you" I said softly, looking down at my hands. He chuckled.

"We've only been on two dates, it's not that serious" He said quietly. I looked up at him smiling. I smiled at him before throwing myself onto him, hugging him. He groaned laughing, holding his arms up, hating physical effection.

"Please don't ever leave me" I whispered laying against him. He reached down patting my head slightly. "There isn't anything you could do to make me go away" He repeated from the other night again. I sighed the guilt slowly eating me alive.

The rest of the night, Nick and I stayed in bed laughing over endless movies and I started to feel better. I knew when I had to come in contact with Chris again, that feeling might change, but for now I was okay. I just needed to not show that he effected me as much as he did.

I don't like guys. I always had too much going on in my own life, guys were the absoutle last thing on my mind. So maybe thats why It happened so fast, because I wasn't used to the feelings of butterflies or wanting a text to come through, or the feeling I got in the pit of my stomach when he flirted with me.

I never ever have caught feelings for someone so quickly with them doing nothing. Showing the bare amount of interest and I was head over heels. Now it was gone. Or at least had to go away.

Starting now there would be no more persuing Christopher Sturniolo. No matter what.

"This bitch has zero common sense" I said lifitng my arm up to the TV. The fifth season of Love Island playing before us. When I didn't hear a response, i turned and looked at him. His eyes were closed with his hand propted behind his head, snoring softly.

I sighed realizing Nick was sound asleep. I leaned over picking up the remote before realizing it was past midnight by now. I clicked off the TV and slowly got up before walking out of the room.

I sighed as I closed the door slowly. This is where I was meant to be. Nick's best friend and not the girl who has feelings for his brother. Or at least trying to not having feelings for.

I closed my eyes before rubbing my eyes and walking over to my room.

No more anxiety because no more feelings for Chris. If anything this would make my life better, not having to worry about my feelings along with the rest of my issues.

I opened my door before turning off the lights and climbing into bed. I needed sleep. I craved sleep. As i closed my eyes I heard my door being swung open and the licks being flipped on.

I sat up and turned towards the door, seeing Chris standing there with a huge bag and then throwing it on the floor. I just stared at him.

"Chris what the fuck are you doing?" I asked glaring up at him. He let out a breath.

"Clothes" He pointed to the bag. I looked down at the bag and then up at him. "What?" I asked shaking my head. He looked down at the bag.

"You're clothes, I got them from your house and a couple books too. I also found some shampoo under your sink if you needed that, I didn't know if you were tired of using our 3-in-1" He said looking over at me. I just blinked at him before standing up and picking up the bag and looking through it.

I looked back up at him as he watched me. “What-What about my mom?” I asked stuttering as I looked at him. How did he go into my house and face my mother?

He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it” he said putting his hands into the pocket of his sweats. I let out a breath, setting down the bag. I glanced over to him.

“Thank you” I smiled. He pressed his lips together and nodded. I just looked at him. No. No. No. y/n.“I’m sorry” he said so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. I swallowed looking down at my hands.

“For what?” My voice hitched, knowing he had more than one thing to apologize for. He sighed stepping forward, making me look at him. He reached up to touch my face, but his hand froze as he put it back down to his sides. He sighed looking down.

“For more than you know” he said looking down at me. I blinked at him feeling the tension in the air, thick and hard. I swallowed aw he looked down at me.

He sighed before turning and starting to walk out. “You’re still the smartest person I’ve ever met” he said turning and looking at me, with a sad smile. My face dropped as the memories from last night came flooding into my brain.

“You're more than enough. You're like the smartest person I've ever met"

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing out. He bit his lip before turning and leaving me alone, again.

I closed my eyes shaking my head before turning and kicking the stupid bag of clothes. I shook my head and put my hands on his head.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to march my ass into his room and smack him so hard in the face. I wanted to tell him to stop messing with me. To stop doing this to me.

He’s stringing me along at a pace I can’t keep up with. I keep getting tripped underneath my feet and then he turned around and picks me back up.

I leaned down picking up a book out of the pile of clothes.

Magnolia parks university by Jessa Hastings

I sighed. My favorite book. I turned towards the door he just walked through. How would he know that? There’s no way he knew that. It was just a coincidence. Right?

-

The next few days were hazy I’m being honest. I attempted to avoid Chris by hiding in my room forcing Nick to bring me food every now and then.

He hasn’t questioned my lack of activity or the lack of being able to get out of bed. He just excepted the fact that I was going through what I was going through and let me be me.

I heard a small knock at my door and set down my phone seeing Nick looking at me with a smile. I raised my eyebrows as I watched him walk over to my bed and lay down beside me.

“You look happy” I said looking down at my smiling best friend. He sighed turning over on his back. “I think I’m gonna ask Holton to be my boyfriend” he said looking up at the ceiling. I sat up.

“Are you sure? I mean you guys have only been going out like a month” I said looking down at him with furrowed eyebrows. He glanced up at me and shrugged. “I don’t know I’ve been thinking about it. I like him and he likes me so why not try it out?” He sighed.

“Nick you are trying it out right now. You’re going on dates that how you see if you want to date someone. Making it official is like a huge step” I said shaking my head. He sat up looking at me.

“I know it’s a huge step y/n, why do you think I’m asking you about it?” He asked looking at me. “I just think it’s too soon, I mean Nick this would be your first boyfriend. Don’t you think you should give it a little more thought? I mean I haven’t even met the guy yet” I asked looking at him. Scared the death that he was gonna get hurt.

His face hardened.

“I told you I have given it thought. I came to you thinking you would support me on this” He glared at me. I sighed really not wanted to fight with him over this.

“Nick I want to support you on this I just don’t want to see you get hurt” I sighed. “That’s life y/n. When you like someone, you go for it and yeah I might get hurt, but I might not. I have to try. If I never went after what I was feeling I would be sitting in my room overthinking everything he’s said to me. I like him y/n. I cant just let that go” he breathed.

“Nick” I sighed. He held up his hands. “No” he shook his head. “Just because you’ve never been in a relationship doesn’t mean that you can stop me from being in one” he said harshly. I let out a breath.

“Nick that’s not fair. That’s not what I’m saying-“ I breathed. He stood up shaking his head. “You’re not in the business to be giving relationship advice when you don’t know the first thing about a relationship” he said above me. I swallowed feeling his words in my chest. Wow that fucking hurt.

“Nick” I sighed looking up at him. He just shook me off. “No I have plans with Holton, and you know what? I am going to ask him to be my boyfriend and he’s gonna say yes” he scoffed before turning and leaving the room.

I sighed leaning my head against my knees. Wow I felt like shit. Nick and I rarely fight and fighting with him right now was the last thing I wanted to do. It was the absolute last thing I needed to be dealing with right now.

I turned over feeling tears come back to my eyes. Now a famailr feeling that I hated. I was so helpless and I hated it. I hated feeling helpless, but that's all that I felt through my body.

I felt like I constantly needed comfort. I have never felt that way in my entire life. I swallowed closing my eyes at the thoughts. I hated myself for what I was about to do, but i didn't know another option.

I picked up my phone.

to: chris sturniolo

are you up?

I sighed closing my eyes already feeling the guilt wash over me again. I blinked down at the phone after a few minutes, seeing no response. God, I shouldn't have sent it. That was such a mistake. I wanted to delete it. No, I wanted to delete myself. Find Nick and apologize.

My phone buzzed. I sat up looking down at it.

from: chris sturniolo

yes why what's up?

I swallowed. I could say never mind. I could just not respond. But we both know that I'm not strong enough to do that.

to: chris sturniolo

can you come in here please?

I bit my lip as I saw the three dots pop up.

from: chris sturniolo

y/n. why

I shook my head, feeling the tears pool again threatend to spill over for what felt like the millienth time today. I was desperate.

to: chris sturniolo

chris please i'm begging.

He typed.

from: chris sturniolo

you don't have to beg, i'm coming

I closed my eyes, leaning back against the headboard as I waited for Chris. A few seconds later he peeked his head in and walked in. His face immediatly softened when he saw my face.

"Hey, what's going on?" He asked quietly as he walked into the door, slowly closing the door behind him. I sighed looking at my lap shaking my head. He walked over to me sitting on the bed next to me.

"Hey, look at me" He whispered. I looked up at him as he scanned my face with his eyes, trying to understand why I was upset. I swallowed and closed my eyes.

"Do you think I'm a bad friend?" I asked quietly blinking my eyes open. He furrowed his eyebrows looking at me. "What?" He asked quietly back. I sighed leaning my head back.

"Do you think I'm a bad friend?" I asked again. Chris stayed silent next to me. I turned my head towards him as he looked at me. "I know that we're not-" I stopped shaking my head.

"But to Nick-" I sighed feeling my eyes swell again. "Hey" He whispered pulling me into him. I let out a shaky breath as he wrapped his arms around me. I breathed in his scent, feeling his embrace.

"I don't think you're a bad friend y/n" He sighed from above me. I glanced up at him. "Don't cry" He whispered wiping under my eyes. I wiped my nose and sighed.

"Nick told me he wanted to ask Holton to be his boyfriend" I explained. I closed my eyes. "And I told him I was worried it was too soon and I didn't want to see him get hurt and he got so mad and-and-" I choked. Chris rubbed my arm with his hands that were around me.

"Hey, hey, hey" He said softly. I looked up at him. "You're not a bad friend. A bad friend would agree with everything he ever said, and you don't. That makes you an amazing friend" He breathed looking down at me. I bit my lip, trying to believe him.

"You're in a senestive place right now y/n, you're not a bad friend. You're just in your head. You know Nick, he's probably just scared and deflecting it onto you. It's not your fault. You just have to let him come to you" He said smiling down at me.

I nodded sitting up, him releasing his arms. I let out a heard breath before wiping the tears from my eyes away. I glanced over at him and he was looking at me.

"I'm sorry, I'm just scared. I can't lose Nick, he's the last person I have left" I sighed shaking my head. Chris paused before nodding slowly. I layed back against the pillows beneath us.

"I feel like i've driven away every person In my life" I shook my head, looking up. "I can't do the same to him" I whispered, glancing at Chris for looking down at me.

"You're parents don't count. Y/n you don't deserve to think that it was your fault they left" He breathed. I just blinked up at him, before furrowing my eyebrows.

"Why did you lie?" I said barley above a whisper. He blinked down at me for a second before sighing and leaning down, laying next to me, crossing his arms over his chest. I just looked at him, as he stared up at the ceiling above us.

"I don't know" He whispered. I just watched him. "I can't tell you" He said looking over at me. I shook my head. "Why not?" I asked feeling like I deserved to know why he hurt me when he didn't have to.

"Because then I'd have to kill you" He said scrunching his nose and then cracking a smile. I rolled my eyes smiling, pushing his shoulder making him chuckle softly. "I hate you" I sighed rolling over and laying on my side looking at him.

He rolled over matching my position as he looked back at me.

"I shouldn't have lied, I'm sorry. It was shitty, I didn't mean to make you cry" He whispered looking at me. I cringed closing my eyes now knowing he saw me start to cry. Embarrassment flooded my body. I blinked my eyes open and he was still looking at me.

"It wasn't you" I lied. "Yes it was" He said back. I bit my lip. "Do you think we could ever be friends?" I asked softly. He blinked at me, as if he were thinking my question over.

"No" He stated. I just looked at him. "I don't think I could ever be just your friend" He whispered. I closed my eyes feeling his response through my entire body. Why was I like this? Why did I do this to myself? Why did I constantly put myself in the same position.

"Y/n"

I opened my eyes, while he just looked at me. "Yeah?" I whispered after a few seconds of silence. He glanced over my face, swallowing. I wasn't going to move, I was waiting for him to. He sighed closing his eyes breifly before leaning over and putting his hand on my cheek pulling my lips to his.

I sighed from relief when our lips finally touched like a breath of fresh air into my lungs. His lips moved over mine slowly as he moved his mouth in accordance to mine. Our lips moved together in an unrushed manner.

I moved my leg over to straddle him, but he pushed my leg down and disconnected his lips from mine, sighing.

“Y/n” he said turning and looking back up at the ceiling. I just stared down at him, not believing he just stopped me. I scoffed shaking my head grabbing his attention. He glanced over at me.

I sat up shaking my head. “Y/n, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-“ he started to speak another excuse of why he fucked up and why he kissed me and why he shouldn’t have, but I wasn’t going to heard it anymore.

“Stop” I held my hand up silencing him. He stopped talking. I peered down at him. “Kiss me or get out” I breathed harshly. His face turned confused as he looked up at me.

“You’ve been doing this to me for a month now Chris and I’m fucking tired of it. You’re spinning me around in circles chasing after something and then you hang it in front of me before just yanking it away” I explained shaking my head. He just listened.

“I’m getting seasick over here” I sighed looking over at him. He bit his lip. “So you don’t have to sit here and apologize for this or that or whatever the fuck you think you need to apologize for, because I’m not really sure you even believe you anymore” I said closing my eyes.

“So I’m not going to sit here and ask you if you like me or if you don’t. I’ve have a hard enough week as it is, so-“ I finsihed looking over at him. He stared up at me.

“Either kiss me. Or get out” I said again not breaking eye contact. He blinked at me for a few seconds before hanging his head. I closed my eyes looking down. Great.

I shook my head as I started to throw the blankets off of me to get up, but I felt him grab my arm, pulling me back over to him, before pinning me below him and hovering over top of me. I stared up at him in shock as he peered down at me with dark eyes.

So dark I couldn’t even see the blue anymore.

“Don’t talk to me like that ever again” he said before grabbing my arms and pinning them above my head and attaching his lips to mine roughly. Leaving me completely helpless under him, not that I was even before he kissed me anyway.

.....did you like the long chapterrr???

tag list: : @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @jjslovely @noelknowsnothing @frankdelrayy @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld

let me know if I missed you on the tag list

[sexydoffyman]

Hello 👋, could I request some cod characters (perhaps Ghost, Price or Graves) defending a male military reader from a bunch of guys that are being homophobic to him?

DEFENDING YOU FROM HOMOPHOBES

navigation

genre: fluff

characters: Simon Riley, John Price, Phillip Graves

A/N: Sick of writing for kinktober. Mby that's why I can't write fucking properly. So let's look at some fluff.

SIMON GHOST RILEY

Ghost is a fairly scary man. He's known for being cold and serious. No one expected you to hang around him. He had six inches on you (15cm). Some people joked about you being the love birds in your TF. They could never guess how correct they were.

You weren't dating or anything, but you both held some kind of mutual respect, trust and maybe even attraction. You both had some qualities of a couple. He was a little possessive of you. You were a little clingy with him.

Although you had some kind of a relationship, that didn't really matter. The thing that mattered was you having each other's backs.

He was like a predator, making sure no one hurts his weaker companion. But when he wasn't around, you were left vulnerable. Not physically, no. You held great strength. What was left to hurt if people cant hurt your body? Your mind.

They mocked you ever since you met at boot camp. Any time they saw your face, they felt the need to embarrass you. You could handle it. You were a soldier, after all. But that didn't stop you from feeling hurt.

This time, you just sat there and took it. They yelled. They impersonated. Of course, that commotion would attract some people's attention.

The one that had showed up was Ghost. You couldn't even register him when you saw a 6'4 dude punch one of them. The others tried running, but none of them could get far enough to escape him. Their jaws broken. Ribs shattered.

You could hear him laughing under his mask. He then glanced at you "Coffee?" He asked.

CAPTAIN JOHN PRICE

All I can say is father energy.

He has been your captain for a few years now. You have gone through shit with him, and you both trusted each other. You viewed him as a kind of father that you never had. And he viewed you as his new child.

He is not possessive, but he is protective. He wouldn't let anyone fuck with you. His rank helped him with scaring people off. He never really had a problem with disobeying soldiers to begin with, so he never actually used his rank, but now. He has to stick up for you.

You really do resemble a kid he would have had. You have similar hair colour and eye colour. Your postures don't have a difference, and you find yourselves finishing up each other's sentences.

These assholes who have been making fun of you were your superiors. What that meant was that you could do nothing to stop them. They could say anything they wanted, and they'd get away with it.

"Thirty laps now!" Your eyes averted to the sudden voice coming from the hall. He heard them. They slowly realised they fucked up. It was raining cats and dogs outside. Everything was muddy and slippery. Running thirty laps would be torture.

"Do I have to repeat myself?" Price grunted with a more aggressive tone. They stormed off to the exit to run their laps. He yelled at them before they got out. "Being on good terms with your fellow soldiers is a must. I will have your ranks stripped away from you until you learn that!"

As soon as they left, Price let out a small chuckle. He was proud of himself. Cheeky bastard.

PHILLIP GRAVES

I love this son of a bitch.

Now, this man is always with you. It's not an obsession. It's just the fact that everyone else wants to be either alone or already has someone to be with. He just doesn't want to be alone.

You felt like you were the chosen one. He was still your superior, after all. After some time together, you got used to it. He always apologised for being such a bother. You got free snacks, which you didn't mind at all.

You were fucking around the base, chilling. You would've never thought you'd be sharing stories with him, but there you were. You didn't know what kind of relationship it was. Were you friends, or were you together just because of the situation? You never figure it out.

The dudes who embarrassed you were your rank. But they fuck with both of you since they didn't know Graves's position. A big mistake. He never really said anything to them. One day, they were just gone.

When you looked deeper into it, you found out that two were dead, and three lost their jobs.

Graves is such a gentleman.

[goldies-cryptobitch]

Warning people in the Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss fandom of the shameless art thief @horrorlover1 (funnily enough they tried changing their URL because they got called out, I assume they don't realize that old URL @'s still take people to your updated URL 🙄) - They've been reposting people's art with the excuse of "Oh, well, I don't know where they came from, I just find them on Google UwU Credit to the artist tho lol" and when told directly where somebody's art came from, their response was to delete the replies, block the person, restrict replies on ALL their posts, and btw, STILL did not actually credit the OG artist.

So, safe to say, it's abundantly clear that this human trashpile doesn't actually give a shit about the original artists of these works. I'll be tagging all the OG artists I can find and link to the stolen posts so that y'all can report this person (I will also @ some of the well-known fandom artists who might not've been hit yet so that they know to block this person and report them if they are able. Also, I don't have Twitter, so if somebody could let the Twitter-exclusive users know of this to also report this person, that would be dope. (Maybe post in the replies if you're going to do that though, so that people can see if it's already been done and the artists don't get spammed about it.))

This art belongs to @marukmpos (Twitter link)

This art belongs to @bluestripedrenulian (dA link)

This art belongs to rinna_hel

This art belongs to Tunyeta

This art belongs to @mellemoondraws (Twitter link)

This art and this art belongs to @gensubart (dA link)

This art belongs to thatboni and @notherpuppet (Twitter link)

This art belongs to TheOGFazFilms

This art belongs to Cessy_Janea

This art belongs to cocodar

This art belongs to Sooelliee and Alkar_tar_art (whose profile SPECIFICALLY says not to repost their art btw)

This art belongs to Thea Yildirim

This art belongs to @pleasantlypony (Twitter link)

This art belongs to Serped3ra

This art belongs to @frenchiefie / @frenchiefieart (Twitter link)

This art belongs to ArtyDemon

This art belongs to SuamyArt

This art belongs to @sadelionne (Twitter link)

And some Hazbin/Helluva artists I'm tagging mostly just warning to block this person so their art also doesn't get stolen/reposted: @kandavers @smilezandmics @greykolla-art @triona-tribblescore @alymccart @noramiamere @adyophene @diabloku @applepartysins @captainsaltypear @scruplepossum (Again, I'm not in the fandom, so I don't really know who all should be tagged and I don't want to make this post crazily long, but yeah, I guess if anybody else in the fandom knows of who might wanna be given a heads up, they'd know better than me lol)

I'm not in the HH/HB fandoms, I was just shootin' the shit with a friend yesterday (the one who initially commented about crediting artists on their posts) and they mentioned this situation to me, and since art thieves like this are massive fucking shitbags that just wanna get clout off of other people's work, figured I should at least credit some ACTUAL artists. Even as an outsider I know that stealing/reposting is a MASSIVE problem in that fandom, and the art fans have got to stop letting people get away with it. Don't like/reblog from assholes like this, support the ACTUAL artists, dude. Stop letting these leeches get away with stealing from legitimate content creators.

If anybody recognizes any of the other stolen art that I might not've found the OG artists for, please let them know so that they can also report their stolen artworks.

Moral of the story: It's not that fucking hard to find the original artists of things online. Don't be a shitty art thief like @horrorlover1 and at LEAST give PROPER credit if you're going to repost something. :/

Edit: Just editing to add that I find it kinda funny how they claim I made this post to try and boost myself when I said multiple times that I'm not even in the Hazbin/Helluva fandom, lmfao. Like, who tf you think I'm boosting myself to??? I don't even make content for this fandom. Also they changed their url to @thecatgirl-luvmyrocky but the original @ link still works, too.

Editing to add their apology, but I am still keeping the post up so that people can decide for themselves if they want to block or not.

Stop reposting things with no credit, and if any artists reach out to you about taking down their posts or anything like that, then listen to them. Artists deserve respect, they deserved to be RECOGNIZED for their hard work, and not giving credit is a HUGE slap in the face to them. Do better.

[arillusionist]

grishaverse dashboard simulator

🤯 conspiracy-theories follow

theory: the sun summoner is definitely still alive. all we know is that she “gave up her life to save ravka” but how? have YOU ever heard of a grisha dying from using their powers?? it just doesnt make sense.

🌝  ruinsruiners follow

Bitch shes a SAINT. All saints die. Move on lmao

🐺 awooga10384 follow

alina was different and u know it just bc she was a “saint” doesnt mean she had to die op is right and ur being an asshole get off their post

☀️ starkovers follow

not you calling her alina like you know her personally… put some respect on her name bruh

🐺 awooga10384 follow

wait til u find out not everyone is religious and ravkan and doesnt use sankta labels n shit

☀️ starkovers follow

the way i literally never even mentioned religion… the lack of reading comprehension on this site is insane

3,377 notes

⛴️ wraithupdates follow

Friendly reminder to DNI if you think the Wraith and D*rtyh*nds are together! We do not welcome you guys on this blog :)

61 notes

🌤️ saintlydays follow

drew some fanart of sankta anastasia i hope you guys like it!! i drew her with a bleeding eye because shes the saint of sickness and when my mom was sick her eye started bleeding for like 2 days straight lol but i prayed to sankta anastasia and she made my mom get better even though her eye is permanently damaged and my sister and dad could not recover and they passed away after like 5 days of pain (we stabbed them to put them out of their misery)

#sankta anastasia #saint anastasia #saint #sankta #saints fanart #sankta fanart #sankta anastasia fanart #saint anastasia fanart

3 notes

🍺 giddyuphorsey follow

tired of yall stereotyping kerch as a dark and gloomy place… not all of us live in ketterdam or in the north in general. its extremely offensive to us so please fucking stop.

💎 ravkasbeauty follow

womp womp

4,018 notes

❓ grishapolls follow

🔥inferni-heart follow

Sturmhond is a privateer…

🧟‍♀ razorskull follow

who gaf

🔥inferni-heart follow

Shut up you dirty kerch ketterdam gang member money worshipping heathen 

🧟‍♀ razorskull follow

it was never that deep but okay..

201 notes

🦴 shadowsandbones follow

not trying to b racist or anything but why do grisha always act like they’re better than anyone else… and why doesnt anyone ever call them out…

1,121 notes

🦐 merchingaway follow

JUST FOUND OUT THAT WYLAN VAN ECK’S BOYFRIEND IS DIRTYHAND’S EX LMFAO WHATTTT

🫠 theseventhsoldier follow

guys im shu can someone please tell me that dirtyhands is not what i think it means… i keep seeing that name all over this app and im so confused

🦐 merchingaway follow

trust me its not but based on this new info…

981 notes

💣 boomboomboom follow

JUST TRIED A ZEMINI PIE FOR THE FIRST TIME MY LIFE IS FINALLY COMPLETE 💞💞💞💞💞💞

17 notes

🪴 green-skies follow

Funny how people keep hating on Kerch when Fjerda is RIGHT THEREE

💎 ravkasbeauty follow

as a heartrender whos grisha mom got captured by a fjerdan ship: womp womp

🧙🏾‍♀️ zowaaaa follow

also op is kaelish so like… why tf are they talking lmao

💎 ravkasbeauty follow

right!! also fjerdans are barely on the internet (too many grisha here for them lmao) so its not really funny bc they cant see it

☀️ starkovers follow

kerch on the other hand… most chronically online mfs i’ve ever seen

12,347 notes

[snowyquokka]

HOME

jeongin x fem reader

cw: angst (😈), breakup, kissing, swearing, mutual pining, mentions of cheating, kinda toxic/asshole seungmin (FORGIVE ME), not proof read bc why tf would i do that (im too lazy so my apologies if some of it doesn’t make sense lmfao-)

wc: 3.1k

a.n - so this is not how it was originally supposed to be 😭 it started as a seungmin fic but spiraled into whatever monstrosity this is lmao. everyone thank @solisyeah for the request ily. anywho i hope it’s good <3

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

Seungmin furrows his brows as he inspects the photo on his screen. A photo of you with another guy, in his lap with your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

Just like you do with Seungmin.

On the very couch he’s sitting on.

At first he thought it was edited, because there’s no way you’d cheat on him, right? But as he took a closer look he just knew it was real.

He was tired, sore, and downright miserable from a rough day at the studio; he had to take way too many breaks for his liking and this picture was just the thing he needed to send him right off the deep end.

He shot up from his spot on the couch so fast it made his head spin, but that didn’t deter him from storming into your bedroom where you were sitting on the bed, aimlessly scrolling through your phone. Once you see his face you can automatically sense something’s wrong.

“Seung?” You tilt your head as you watch him take your apartment key off of his key ring before placing it on your dresser with a clink.

“Seungmin what are you doing?” You jump off of your bed as he slides his shoes on. He runs his fingers through his hair with a frustrated huff.

“I don’t- I think we just need a break. I need a break.” These words were the last thing you imagined to ever come out of his mouth, in this context especially. Or lack there of.

“Wha- why?” Your eyes glaze over with unshed tears that threaten to spill at any given moment. You don’t want to cry in front of him, you’ve always hated having your raw emotions on display like that, especially in such a powerless situation. “Seungmin, talk to me. What the fuck is going on?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. I’m not stupid.” Seungmin shakes his head “Did you really think you could hide it from me?”

“Hide what, Seungmin?”

“You should’ve just fucking left me. Spared my feelings, maybe. But I guess you’re just too selfish for that.”

Without another word he rushes out of the room, leaving you in shambles with nothing else to do but slide to the floor, curl into yourself and let the sobs take over your body.

Seungmin can hear you crying before he even walks out of the front door, causing his heart to clench in his chest and his gut to twist. Standing with his hand just brushing the door handle, he has to physically force himself to press on, to let you go, to accept his reality. The door slams shut behind him and the noise only pushes you further towards the realization that this is actually happening. You aren’t hallucinating, this isn’t some fucked up fever dream or an even more fucked up prank.

You just wish you knew why. No matter how much you try to put the pieces together, you’re always missing something. You can’t think of anything that could’ve set him off. Everything was perfectly normal less than an hour ago, yet all it took was five minutes to trigger the downward spiral of what feels like the end of the world- the end of your world.

-

“What’re you doing back here?” Jeongin slides next to Seungmin - who is still eyeing up the picture on his screen - on the floor. Jeongin nods towards the phone, “What’s that?”

Seungmin huffs and leans his head against the wall behind him, “I honestly don’t fucking know, I don’t even really want to know, actually.”

Jeongin reaches for the phone, pulling it out of Seungmin’s grasp. His lips part in a silent ‘oh’ as he inspects the photo. He’s assuming Seungmin hadn’t even given you a chance to explain solely based on his reaction, in typical Seungmin fashion. Jeongin turns his body to face the other, his face set in an almost disappointed expression.

“I’m going to say this with the utmost respect and I need you to not cause me any bodily harm-” Jeongin sighs before continuing, “You’re a dumbass. Like the dumbest dumbass I think I’ve ever seen. Like paboracha level dumbass. I’m talking-”

“Are you done?” Seungmin groans and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Are you done? God- you just fucked yourself over. If I were you I’d start praying that she’ll still take you back after all this crazy shit.”

“How did I fuck myself oven when she’s the one cheating? Or am I supposed to just forget about that and take the blame for it all like usual? She brought another guy into the same place I spend almost all my time at, and probably fucked hi-” Jeongin slaps his hand over Seungmin’s mouth, effectively silencing him before he could carry on with his bullshit.

“Hyung. Shut up.” The maknae slowly pulls his hand away as Seungmin’s eyebrows shoot upward. “Look I get it, you’re tired, you’re upset, you’re angry bu-”

“Can you fucking blame me? I can’t unsee it. I mean, you see how comfortable she looked with him.” he clenches his fists.

“Will you keep your mouth closed already? You’re killing me here, got a massive migraine now.” Jeongin groans and rubs his temples as he speaks “That picture was taken over a year ago. Before you even knew she existed, hyung. Besides, I know her better than anyone ever will, other than you obviously, which is why I suggest that you get your ass up and go apologize for being such a dumb fuck. Beg for her forgiveness if you gotta. Maybe get on your knees while you’re at it.” he sighs and stands, holding his hand out to Seungmin before pulling him up.

“How do you know she isn’t lying to you? How do you know she isn’t lying about anything else?” Seungmin finally says.

“Because she loves you too much to do that to you. God, have you always been this dense? You seriously need to wake up and realize how stupid you sound.” Jeongin mocks, prompting Seungmin to glare at him one last time before walking out of the studio. All the while unbeknownst to the younger standing with a frown threatening to pull at the corners of his mouth.

“He’s a fucking idiot if he let’s her go over this,” he mutters begrudgingly while he listens to the soft pur of Seungmin’s car in the distance.

-

Almost a week later you’re still waking up with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. The first thing you notice is Seungmin’s apartment key still sitting on the dresser untouched. Well, it used to be his. You were really hoping that it was all just a shitty nightmare and that you’d still be tucked in his side with his soft snores being the only sound to fill the room even though it’s days.

You realize what had stirred you awake as another knock fills the almost suffocating silence. You’re half tempted to just ignore it, but something in your gut tells you to answer it.

“Oh, uhm- hi Innie.” you wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie. Or Seungmins hoodie, rather.

God you need to pull yourself together. How could you not even realize what you were wearing. Fuck.

“Hey,” Jeongin rocks back on his heels somewhat awkwardly, “Can I come in?”

You nod and mumble a soft ‘of course‘ as you move out of the way for him to slip past the threshold and into your apartment while you take a moment to collect yourself, and to put on the most convincing smile you can possibly muster.

“What’s up?” you find a spot on the couch next to him as he scans the room for a second, looking for any signs of whether or not Seungmin actually showed.

“He’s not here, is he?” Jeongin turns to you with sympathetic eyes, finding your own longing for comfort, seemingly pleading him for some sort of consolation.

“N-no but he’ll probably be back so-”

“He’s not coming back, y/n. If he was, it would’ve been days ago.”

Before you can open your mouth to protest, Jeongin has you pulled into his strong chest and tucks your head under his chin gently. “It’s okay, baby. I got you.” he sighs, rubbing small and slow circles on your back just the way he knows you like. He places a small, chaste kiss on the top of your head because he’s learned over the years that the action relaxes you and makes you feel secure.

Jeongin knows you like the back of his hand. Sometimes he thinks he knows you better than he knows himself. He knows your favorite food, your favorite season, your favorite movie. He knows how much you love to read, having periodically skimmed your shelves for books you may have and promptly buying you ones that you haven’t already buried your nose in.

Most importantly, he knows exactly what to say in order to subside your bad moods (he’s well seasoned in this field), and that sometimes you say things you don’t mean yet he never - and will never - hold that against you.

He knows just how much you loved Seungmin, not even wanting to imagine the amount of absolute heartbreak you’re feeling. Despite all this, he can’t help but feel somewhat relieved. You and Seungmin undoubtedly wouldn’t have worked in the long run and that’s exactly what you desire and deserve: a stable, long term relationship where you’d be taken care of and treated like the absolute goddess that Jeongin thinks you are.

He just wishes you give him a chance to treat you like his- more so than he already does now.

“Thank you, In,” you mumble into his chest.

“You don’t need thank me, baby. You know I’m always here.”

You did know that, you’ve always known that. Jeongin doesn’t let you doubt how much he cares for you, he’ll spend every waking moment reminding you if he has to.

You pull back slightly to look into his eyes. “I always end up burdening you with my problems.” Jeongin’s eyes soften at your apology and all he wants to do is hug and kiss and cuddle you until he thinks he’s convinced you enough of his adoration.

But for now all he can do is settle for words, though he can’t help but think it won’t be enough.

“Baby, please don’t be sorry for that. What kind of best friend would I be if I never listened to your complaints or rants?” Calling himself your best friend took more out of him than it should have and he tries to hide his hesitation. Thankfully you hadn’t noticed.

Hearing Jeongin say this makes you realize that he’s treated you better than any boyfriend you’ve ever had. Seungmin never reassured you like Jeongin does. Actually, now that you think about it, Seungmin didn’t do half of the things Jeongin does, even if it was the bare minimum.

He’s always like this, but why does it feel different now?

That’s just his personality, right? There isn’t any hidden meaning behind his words or gestures. Or the way he’s holding you and speaking to you like you’re the most precious thing he’s ever had contact with. The sudden urge to reach out and cup his face is unreal. You just want to make sure you aren’t hallucinating. You wonder how you managed to find such a perfect person who thinks the world of you just as much as you do them. Someone who loves you just as deeply and truly as you do.

Wait what?

You’ve singlehandedly scared and confused yourself all at once now. Obviously you love him and he does you, but it feels as though you love him in a different way. A special way, one that you don’t think you’ve ever felt for anyone. Not even Seungmin, who you once thought was hands down your soulmate.

What you failed to realize, however, was that your soulmate has been here the whole time, and he’s holding you in his arms like he never wants to let you go.

You cut off your train of thought because he doesn’t want you like that and you’re making assumptions that could get you hurt.

Too late.

Another wave of sadness that has nothing to do with what upset you earlier washes over you.

“Baby? Hey, where’d you go?” Baby. Fucking baby. He’s got to stop calling you that. You want to tell him to stop, so why can’t you open your mouth and form those simple words.

“Mhm, ’m okay.” You can’t even bring yourself to put the tiniest bit of distance between your bodies.

You mentally scream at yourself for sounding so noticeably pathetic. He must think you are how could he not when you’re making it so painfully obvious.

“Don’t hide from me, baby. You know you don’t need to hide anything from me.” How ironic.

“I’m not- I just-” you huff and lean your forehead against Jeongin’s chest. God, when did he get so…buff? Has he always been like this?

He pulls your head back to force your gaze to meet his. “What did I tell you, hm? Talk to me baby. I’m all ears.” His arms encircling your body is the last straw before the world comes crashing down on you.

Tears flood your vision and you aren’t even sure as to why you’re crying this time.

Pathetic and dramatic. Great.

Jeongin immediately thinks he’s overstepped now, he took it too far and made you uncomfortable. He removes his hands from you immediately though the action kills him inside, when in reality you want the exact opposite. You want him to pull you closer, you want your chest flush against his to the point where you can feel his heart beating.

“I’m sorry, Innie. I’m sorry.” You finally climb out of his grasp and step away from him. He follows you and with every step he takes forward you move backward until you collide with the wall.

“Why are you sorry when you didn’t do anything wrong? I don’t want you apologizing to me for no reason. If anyone should be apologizing it’s Seungmin, but it’s his fault and his loss, you know that.” You wish Jeongin would stop being so supportive, it’s making it ten times harder to ignore your surfacing issues.

“That’s not the problem, Jeongin.”

Since when did you call him by his full name?

“Then what is it? Is it me? Please I- I just want to help you.”

Your tears have finally halted and you couldn’t be more thankful. You need to be able to properly look into his eyes.

“You can’t help me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

“Why are you being so difficult all of a sudden?”

“I’m not.” You cross your arms over your chest.

Jeongin blows out a frustrated huff. “Why can’t you tell me? Is it because Seungmin and I are friends becau-”

“I love you.”

“I know you do, which exactly is why you should be talking to me right now instead of bottling it all up-”

“No, Jeongin. I love you. Not in a friend way, not in a platonic way. I want to kiss you and hold you and-” You’ve worked yourself up so much you have cut yourself off in order to calm down.

Jeongin’s mouth stays agape for a solid five seconds before he even processes what you’ve said. “You love me?”

“Is that not what I just said?” Jeongin has to bite back his smile at your remark but quickly frowns again at the expression on your face. You look regretful, like you wish you never spoke. You’re just waiting for his rejection, willing it to come faster so you he’ll leave and you can wallow in self pity by yourself in the comfort of your bed. You disturbed the peace that was your friendship.

“I- the breakup is still fresh and you aren’t thinking straight, baby. Don’t say things you don’t mean.” Jeongin pleads. Is he trying to convince you or himself?

“But I do mean it Jeongin. I really do and I can’t believe it took me this fucking long to figure it out and I wish I’d never caught feelings because this is just a shit show now.”

He goes to speak but you quickly interrupt him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget about it,” you expect him to leave, or to at least move away. But he doesn’t, instead he leans in closer to your ear and whispers in a hushed tone,

“Didn’t I just tell you to stop apologizing, baby?” The way he says ‘baby’ sends shivers down your spine, it’s different than the other times he’s called you that. This time his words actually do have a hidden meaning. His breath ghosts the shell of your ear for a moment before he slowly pulls back to look at you. As if he hasn’t studied your every feature to the point where you’re engraved in his mind.

“You have to promise me that you actually understand what you’re saying and that it isn’t the post breakup neediness talking.” He looks at you sternly and fully expecting a response in words.

You, on the other hand, have absolutely no intention of speaking as you instead grab him by the collar of his hoodie before pressing your lips against his.

Kissing your best friend is much more intimate than you ever expected. He kisses you like it’s not the first time and with more than enough purpose. It starts off aggressive but soon simmers down into a delightfully slow and passionate rhythm and as cliche as it sounds, it’s in this moment that you finally know where you belong, where your home is.

No matter the circumstances, Jeongin always left a space for you in his heart. His subconscious wouldn’t let him fill it with someone else even if he wanted (which he didn’t), forever waiting for you to find the spot with your name written all over it and stay there for as long as you may live.

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

tags: @skzstarnet @godslino @myseungsunglove @seungseung-minmin @azuna-sz @chanyeolsrealwife

[austinsastrology8991]

> Saturn ASPECTS < and why you ain't getting the respect you deserve Saturn puts you in shitty cycles/ patterns to make you; by breaking you > and when you inevitably return to these struggles, you'll realise you've mastered his circuits

yes i had break, im back now. so get over it.

Saturn aspecting Sun - loosen up. but everytime you do, something else fucks up. so now your the most rigid person. its hard to have a good time with yall, because you take things so seriously, but damn do you exceed when shit needs to be taken seriously - because your so careful in your movements 🚶‍♂️. they tend to have a habit of stating the obvious then smirking about it, which is so confusing because like we all knew that, but why you acting like you did something? this type of shit is why people struggle to chill around you, but ill ask for your advice about real shit because your obsessed with being an authority and like thats the only way to approach you guys without getting iced by you Saturn aspecting Moon - Stop crying. oh wait i meant to say; start crying. jesus you got some fucked up villainous back story but your stone walling everyone because it hurts too much to even open up to anyone. because i mean whats the point? if everyone is just going to tell you "its going to be okay" when you never feel okay. feels bad man, and you know better than most how bad feels.. man.. so i guess saturn wants you to accept how cruel the world is, and how that affects everyone, so you are more prepared for bad circumstances then most. hardly a positive spin, ik.. but its to prepare you for your future. and you have no idea why you must go through so much pain - but there is a reason, and it will become clear later, so better utilize that energy to your benefit; because its just another one of saturns bitch cycles

Saturn aspecting Mercury - when you speak, people try there best to one up you, but your a master at it by now > passive aggressive, or authoritative - who gives a fuck if you belittle the other person, because i mean if your right, then you right. so better off writing it into reality, rather than watch everyone clown around with the wrong answers. but speaking ths way to others, really does make it hard to talk to you, even if you right, your just a fkn asshole. so honestyl. stop trying to figure out the right answer, and think about whats the right thing to say. stop pretending to be an authoritative speaker if no one even wanna listen to you, and start owning what you say more. Saturn aspecting Venus - joecly flores on repeat. okay i get it. you dont believe in love, because you see it how it is. well. its not actually how it is. youve ruined all your chances of anyone ever gonna love you because you think being all cold and mysterious is attractive (and it can be) but i mean who tf wanna love someone like that. its like riding a bike uphill. i mean i dont wanna do that. like these people are always attractive, but their attitude is so hard to ignore, its like trynna make a spider smile. thats why people reject you more than anythng else. and Ik that your just trying to find the real ones, but guess what, everyone that ever talked to you/ flirted with you, liked you.... oh thats too shallow or optimistic? my bad Saturn aspecting Mars - I never do anythng right ;(((((( well you actually do a lot right, but your always doing too much. your so obssessed with perfection and being a high achever that you've forgotten everything you've achieved becayse your so focused on the next one. if you just reflected on how much you work; in comparison to most, youd realize you are big achiever, and you dont understand reality as well as you think. well okay you do undersatnd reality extremely well (because you try so damn hard lol) but you've lost your sense of self because you still dont think your worth it till you achieve the next thing- hence the cycle of working yo ass off - but hey you'll achieve a lot, you just need to perfect your perfectionistic tendencies -then youll finally be perfect! (get it) Saturn aspecting Jupiter - i think this aspect is one of the coldest. because these people try so hard, but get no where for the majority of their life. till they change perspectives and realize if they try harded else where, they'd get launched into success. i mean the amount of people who are successful - and i mean hugely successful > have this aspect - and everytime it was due to massive luck. however only they could grasp the 'lucky' opportunity, and that initself makes their achievements so much cooler than others. remember its jupiter, so all your 'hardships' inevitably become your greatest 'luck'. the white guy from 'sean of the dead' has this, and look at how much he impacted movies in general... jus saying mad props to that guy and to yall

Saturn aspecting Uranus - okay these guys are outcasted from society hard, due to some bullshit, but when they get recasted back into civilization they become someone who can change society at large- but its gonna take so much work... their perspective has been molded differently to most because they've been alone for so long. they have strange ideas that somehow work into tangible assets. perfect example : eminem - i mean hes basically best case scenario with this aspect, but hey why not try for best case scenario? but then again he made that hamster song... so i mean not always best case scenario... THats the price of neglect you could say lmao. Saturn aspecting Neptune - your imagination is your greatest challenge but also the key to your ultimate glory. like Michael Jordan had this aspect and well he was hella delusional. until he wasnt.... but its hard to say how much this benefited him... because both stages of his life - pre glory - and; glory - he was heavily isolated from everyone, and (likely) suffered in seclusion, by placing so much importance on his dreams. saturn wants you to master the 'spiritual world' i.e. imagination and dreams, and this causes anxiety that their dreams will just be dreams. which is what makes them put so much effort into it becoming real... then they realize the price of it all when its too late. so just make sure your aware of what your manifesting because if anyone can make it, its you. (achieving ur dreams) Saturn aspecting Pluto - how powerless do you feel. you do realize people can see how thirsty you are for respect/power, because they can sense your insecurity from past exepriences, and thats why your easy to play with. but do not worry. you will attain true power with enough effort. not just a bullshit image of power. because you've been pushed into the most vile trials to have ever have existed, and its only so that when you become someone powerful, you utilize your power properly, and do not step on others, because you know damn well how much it hurts to be stepped on. so your power is > saturn. your trials are so intense, and you're basically broken, but things that are broken know how to cut others (like broken glass). and well saturn wants you to master this > pluto > the darkness. and it makes reaching the top so much more palpable, because you'd feel like you earnt it. but you can make others insecure about what youve overcame so you better be humble, or saturn will fuck you. no honour among thieves, and we know you experienced that, but the kings play different, and you gotta adapt or saturn will flatten you.

[snekdood]

if you’re so convinced you know what happened, then kill me.

[braxlrose]

Can ya like make nsfw/sfw hc about Tom?

(Btw i luv ya🫶)

Like I did with Bill, I think I'm just gonna do sfw hcs rn cause I'm tired but I will get to the nsfw 😈

sfw headcanons for Tom Kaulitz

You and tom were bestfriends when you were kids, you were always hanging out with him and bill whenever you could (considering they were your only friends before gustav and georg came around)

You and tom got into trouble ALL THE TIME

Sometimes with Bill but other times tom thought some of the stuff you did would be too "hardcore" (his words) for bill, so you two would go and do stuff

One time you and him pulled the fire alarm at school and poor Bill happened to be walking by just as you two ran out 😭 you guys felt so bad he was the one who got in trouble

His mom LOVES you so much, yk when you can't find your friends and you go downstairs and they're just talking shit w/ your mom 💀 that's you and their mom

You two would practice guitars all the time and even got matching stickers to put on the guitars

When you guys were little kids, you, bill and tom would play hide and seek and tom would always be yelling "I'm not ready yet!!" LIKE BRO, it literally says "ready or not, here I come!" 🙄

He steals a shit ton of your food

Like you'll just walk into your house and he's standing in the kitchen eating your food 💀

You two would smoke in the back of the school w/ bill and listen to music and you'd always end up laying your cheek on his shoulder

Now I think we all know tom likes girls, but if any of the girls who was flirting w/ him disrespected you, he would just laugh in their face.

Like one of the girls said "it's either me or y/n. Your choice." He just stood there like 💀 who do you think I'm choosing TF?

He's a fucking asshole so whenever yall went swimming he would splash water at you, or go and swim under water and grab your legs to freak you out

And he's always laughing his ass off when you scream after he does that 😐

He's a bitch fr

also for "some reason" he always hated when guys flirted w/ you

I wonder why 😐🤔

so whenever any guy came up to you, he would automatically come behind you and put his arm around your shoulders or wrapped around your waist or on your hips LIKE BRUH UR 13 WTF ARE U DOING

He somehow makes the guy leave w/o even calling himself your boyfriend (bc he's not) and he does this basically so you can't get mad at because "didn't even do anything"

TOLD YALL HES AN ASSHOLE OH MY GOD (still love him tho)

You guys watch movies together ALL THE TIME

Of course bill joins you guys too sometimes

But other times he has "other things to do" according to tom 🤨 so you guys end up watching movies together

YOU GUYS HE DOES THE THING WHERE YOU YAWN AND STRETCH YOUR ARMS OUT AND THEN PUT YOUR ARM OVER THE OTHER PERSONS SHOULDERS

istg that's in like every single American 80s movie

He thinks he's so slick abt it too

NEWS FLASH

He's not. Like at all.

It's cute though

After a while it starts to get super obvious he likes you

He doesn't flirt with girls as much and focuses his attention and flirtiness towards you, and he gets you little things that you like because "that's what friends do for eachother"

If you try and bring up that he likes you, he will deny the fuck out of it. You're his best friend and honestly he hates that he feels this way bc he doesn't want to ruin anything.

Little does his dumbass know that you like him too 💀

So one night when he comes to your window and knocks on it you go to open it and see him.

Apparently he wants to go swimming.

Which you deny because it's freezing cold water and night time (super scary, yall I'm like terrified of the dark if you didn't know)

But eventually he convinces you and you sneak out w/ him

And thats when he confessed to you, you guys were laughing and splashing around in the freezing water when he finally said something and yall finally became a thing

Thank god, because everybody was getting sick of the tension.

Once you guys start dating, oh.my.god.

You guys are making out all the time and at school he always has his arm wrapped around you, possessive mfckr 💀

This just increases as you guys get older too

And since you're his bestfriend, he doesn't treat you like he would treat any other girl. He likes you so much and doesn't want to ruin the friendship either.

If you're in the band, he's touching you whenever he can, especially on stage (even though there's only like 10 ppl there)

As he gets older, like I said before, it gets worse

Once Monsun came out and you guys started getting the fame, he made sure EVERYONE knew he was with you

He would wrap his arms around you on stage or practically shove his tongue down your throat in between songs (if you're in the band)

If you're not in the band, he talks about you in basically every single interview

He finds a way to add you into the conversation

His cuddles are literally the best

He's always the big spoon, but he loves holding you.

If you're in the band, he always has you sitting on his lap, or if you're on the tour bus he let's you lay on top of him and sleep.

He also LOVES seeing you in his clotheses

They're giant on you and he thinks you look adorable (SIZE KINK YALL, but that's for the next post)

He loves it when you're just sleeping in one of his giant t shirs and just some underwear, or no underwear 😉

Sometimes you get insecure when he flirts with girls at a meet and greet but he always reassures you that he never meant to make you feel that way and tries to cool it down

I know some of you guys think he would do this, but I honestly don't think tom is a cheater

Yeah maybe he would ghost girls or do some other shit but I don't see him as someone who would cheat on a girl

Especially one he loves so much, so you never have to worry

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED TY FOR THE REQUESTS, ILL DO THE NSFW SOON

OMG I FORGOT MY TAGLIST AGAIN SO SORRY

@hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes