#if there was a way i could thank all of you one by one i'd do it in a heartbeat

[nkogneatho]

Y'all know those insecure girlfriends on tiktok when their boyfriend does their makeup accurately, they go “what bitch taught you that?” yeah, Gojo is the male version of that.

He knows he is attractive, and that everyone dotes on him. But you look out of this world. Everybody wants you. Like all of his friends have tried to hit on you a few times. They said it's just playful, but his insecurities kicked in.

One evening, you showed up to one of his totally unserious basketball games with his homies, cheering him every time he dunks.

“Suguru, my girl's watchin'. Gotta show off a bit, yeah?” he smirks, licking his lips his reflexes were so good that barely anyone else could keep up with him. It was like he had drank 10 liters of energy drink with the sudden speed boost.

You hopped in his arms when the match was over, peppering his face with kisses as he enjoyed his victory, showing a middle finger to suguru to which he rolled his eyes.

“you look so cool when you jump so high, toru!” you squealed in happiness. He really did look cool.

“hehe, you liked that, baby? Jumped a little higher just for you.” he kissed your forehead.

“hate to say it, but he is undefeated.” suguru spoke up. “feel like we need to put you on the court, y/n just to distract him so we can win.” your cheeks started burning up at that. You and satoru have been dating for a few months, but you were still not used to the way everyone talks about him as if he's a simp for you. well, he is and should be.

“i would still win though.” your eyes shifted to gojo. You were a little offended at that, even though it was just messing around. It was his habit.

“alright. Let's have a 1v1” the men did not miss the shift of your tone. Suguru knew satoru might be in trouble, while the white haired wasn't worrying about it too much. Because you're not too savvy with basketball aside from what he's taught you, and he is a pro. Sure, you would be mad later, but nothing he can't make up to you.

The boys spread in corners, as you and gojo exchanged a competitive gaze—yours was competitive and his was more of a “i love when you get riled up”—before the match began. The game was not anything serious, so all you had to do was score five points. It was a piece pf cake for gojo but you were being surprisingly competitive. You scored two points just as soon as he did. His homeboys thought that gojo was going easy on you but suguru knew he was struggling. But he lives up to his name and score two points, making him just 1 score away from his sweet victory. There's no way you can win now. If you miss this chance, it's over. But you remembered something someone had taught you and all that “i'd still win though” just pumped up enough adrenaline and oh. my. god.

Gojo's jaw dropped as you shot a three pointer, your lips widening into an evil grin, and all the boys cheered at your win. You were sure they're gonna tease him about today until eternity. Toru was impressed…well, for a few seconds before he hit you with a,

“which motherfucker taught you that? because I don't remember teaching you this yet.” you were laughing but his reaction was genuine.

“hey, c'mon now. don't call me a motherfucker.” suguru slid in, a hand resting on gojo's arm. “i'm a good teacher, aren't I?” he winked at you.

“the fuck? When the fuck did you teach her?”

“last week when we were playing at toji's party.” gojo was too busy playing beer bong at that time.

“thank you, suguru. And you…" you looked at your man, "where is allat “but I'd still win though” attitude?” you mocked him.

“ight fine. you got me. i was just messin' around and ya'know that. don't get mad at me, baby,” he snaked an arm around your waist. “we're both winners. We gotta celebrate properly, right?” he leaned closer to your ears.

“now let's see who wins in the bedroom, tonight. hmm? You know i gotta settle the score, princess.”

[fuxuannie]

Unrelated to any of the Kenji thirst I keep thinking to the moment where Kenji is real close to losing his shit because someone made the 'Where's the Japanese Version of the guy' in regards to him and like fuck it hit me hard. I'm mixed like to the point where people can't pin my ethnicity by looking at me and constantly being told I'm not x or y enough to be a member of a community by all rights I do belong to I just I really empathized with him in that moment. I'd love to see some head cannons on how he feels and deals with the "Not Japanese enough" allegations, how he feels about being back in his home country after being in America for so long just overall how he adjusts and navigates through that

❥﹒kenji sato x gender neutral reader

✦. synopsis — request (thank you so much !!)

✦. love mail — requester wherever you may be, you are loved and it’s heartbreaking you relate to such :( you and me both, but thank you for such a heart touching req 😞🫰.

✦. tags — NO SPOILERS, not super x reader focused but elements are there, based on writer’s own experiences, angst-ish (not sure?), mentions of discrimination

Adjusting to life back in Japan was.. no easy feat, really. It had been so long since he was home, it no longer felt right to call it that. He felt out of place in his own skin. No one could tell, after all – it was his charm. But after every game, after every interview, he goes home and feels more disappointed in himself with each day. His own language, it feels foreign on his tongue. Each word he says feels wrong. You’ll be there to reassure him that it’s been some time, of course he won’t be perfect. But that’s the issue; he’s not perfect. He should be. That’s what people expect of him.

Criticism came with the lifestyle, it was a guarantee. But for it to come from his own people? Ouch. It was bad enough that back in America, he was made fun of for his bare-bone English, now back in Japan it’s his barely coherent Japanese. He feels like wherever he goes, he has to feign confidence to not break down. He puts on those damn shades to hide the way his eyes start to tear up when things get too much. Sure, he had gone through shit. But how much can one man take till he starts to break? Kenji can tell you, it’s not a lot. It’s been years and he’s just had to act like it doesn’t affect him.

And if not for the way he speaks, of course they go for how he looks. Now Kenji will admit, he IS a confident man. He loves himself and his image, but he isn’t immune to insecurity, no one is. Your heart breaks whenever he cries in your arms, resting on top of you as he sobs into your chest. You try to soothe his worries, kissing each part of him that he feels insecure about, which ends up just being his whole face. It’s a harrowing sight to see. You just wished you could get rid of all his problems, because for one man to bear it all? It wasn’t fair for his poor soul.

Sometimes you’ll wake up to him watching his old games, he’ll ask you what’s wrong, but you don’t notice. Instead, you see little him and how he smiled. It confused you, the tape wasn’t even playing – it was just paused there. He had that typical smile that most kids had, full of teeth and eyes squinted because of how wide their smile was. You chuckle, he was so cute. You then look back at him, and you try to understand. “I-” He’ll start, running a hand through his hair. “I just.. I missed that smile. The people back in America.. they made fun of me so-” You ran into his arms, engulfing him in a hug that made him feel so warm and fuzzy. And he doesn’t realise it, but that moment brings back that smile. He’s just so happy with you he can’t help it.

I think that, all and all, he’s just had to become desensitised to everything. He just shuts down whenever someone says something about how he doesn’t fit in. You’ll defend him, but he tells you not to. It’s a waste of breath. You want to argue that it’s not, that he deserves to be defended, but his defeated look wins you over. He knows there’s no real way to stop them, so he’d rather focus on his practices or making you feel happy. Those are things that matter to him; not something as temporary as his appearance or mannerisms of speech. He’s accepted that, and his priority is your happiness and his. :)

For more lighthearted headcanons, if you were Japanese, you'd offer to help Kenji refresh on writing his Kanji and overall speaking, which he is more than happy to accept. Another case, if you aren't Japanese; he'll ask if you want to learn with him. He's overjoyed if you accept, it brings a positive association and motivation to relearn his language. It wasn't to just please people.

I imagine Ami had become a good friend to you and Kenji, so she offers to demonstrate all the mannerisms Kenji has perhaps forgotten (and you did too/want to learn as well) to help. You both appreciate her helpful hand, and treat her to good restaurants for dinner as thanks. :)

[romanticinlove]

Petty

Summary: people are hating on you because you're dating Jude. Hmm maybe you can make a TikTok.

Jude Bellingham X f!Reader

_______________________________________

when you and Jude first started dating, you knew what to expect. You knew that as a famous and handsome football player, he would have millions of girls chasing after him and hoping that they could be in your shoes. When he first posted you on his instagram story, he didn't want to do a soft launch. He made a post about his recent trip to France, and in it, he had a picture of you and him in a mirror selfie, he tagged you and thus everything began. there was a small group of normal fans who congratulated the both of you and who complimented you. But unfortunately, there were more people who were being rude.

User_123: SHES dating him? like why

Bellingfan: He is way out of her league omg

Footy.fan: He could honestly do some much better

When the post went up you didn't really look at the comments, because you knew what would be waiting for you.

"hey baby, have you seen the comments on my instagram post?"Jude called out from the living room. You were both hanging out in your apartment that night, and Jude finally looked at his comments, as he too had been neglecting them.

"No, why?" You said as you entered the room

"People are so rude, like don't call yourself a fan of mine if you can't be supportive of my girlfriend" Jude scoffed as he closed his phone.

You sat next to him on the couch and touched his face. "I know it sucks but there's always gonna be people like that, they just have no respect for anyone and they think that by being rude, they'll have some type of influence on your life." You continued as he put his head on your lap.

"I know but it's so frustrating, I wish I could just like shut them all up" Jude sighed one last time. As you nodded in agreement, an idea popped in your head. You had recently seen a TikTok trend that couples would do and you thought that would be just the solution.

"Hmm maybe we can" you told him mischievously.

"What do you mean"

"well, there's this trend on TikTok we could do, it would definitely shut them up" You smirked and sat up.

"Ok what would we have to do." You thought about the best way to shoot the video, just enough to really show everyone, but not too much to be scandalous. You then decided what you would do. You got up from the couch and began to direct Jude.

"Take your shirt off" You instructed. Jude gave you a confused look. "Trust me, would you" He smiled at you and followed your instructions. "Ok now lay down on the couch" He did so and then you layed down next to him. You decided to put your head on his chest and pulled up the sound, then you began to film and lip-sync to the audio.

He chose me, he don't want you

He chose me, Nanny nanny boo boo

Before you could even finish Jude began laughing at the audio choice. You ended the video and looked over at Jude.

"Where did that come from" Jude said as he finished laughing.

"I told you it's a trend on TikTok" You shrugged and looked at him "This will definitely get the message across" You and him watched the video back one more time to make sure everything looked right. "Ok what do you think should we post it?" You asked him.

"Y'know what, post it. I'd like to see what they say to this" Jude smiled at you.

You added the caption: All jokes (Not really)

Then you hit post

"It's officially on my tiktok, and now we wait" You said as Jude put his shirt back on

"Ok well while we wait, why don't we continue watching that show" Jude said

"The one about the smart kid?" You asked

"yes, the grandma is so funny in that one" Jude laughed as you put on the show.

_____________________________________

Thank you for reading, lmk what you think!

Also thank you guys so much for the support on my last one. I appreciate y'all 🫶

[aniesvision]

wanna bet? (chris sturniolo x f! reader)

part 3!

click to read part 1 and part 2

warnings: enemies to lovers trope!, teasing, suggestive, smut!, being a bit possessive over here (just a lil bit tho), p in v, no protection (don't do this), a bit of praising, happy ending!

a/n: wanna bet? is now over :( it was fun to write it, i wanna do more long fics. im also not sure if some parts made sense but i tried. friendly reminder that english is not my first language!

synopsis: matt and nick are back! and now the bet thing is (almost) over, in the end it turned out way different than they expected.

🪻🪻🪻

He rolls his eyes and I giggle. We took our baths, almost innocently. Nothing else happened, and we even talked like normal people do. We got out of the bathroom, got dressed and went upstairs to the living room, where Nick and Matt were, sitting on the couch. They looked at each other suspiciously and then back at us.

-So you're all alive...? —Nick asks, confused to see that we both arrived together, from Chris's room, with wet hair.

-Yes, Nick, we're alive. —Chris replies, sounding annoyed.

-Wait, since when are you guys here? —I ask, remembering the bet.

Maybe I won, even if it doesn't matter anymore.

-About forty minutes, I think. —Matt replies, suspicious.

I look at Chris, who covers his face with his hands and lets out a deep sigh.

- I love you guys so much. —I say to Matt and Nick while laughing at Chris's reaction.

-You guys made me win a bet and now he has to do everything I want for a week. —I explain quickly, seeing Chris look at me a little stressed.

-I thought we agreed that this bet was no longer worth it.

-You thought you had won and I accepted your request. And now you'll have to accept mine. —I look at him intently, trying to send him a message that only he would understand by the way I looked at him.

He looks at me slightly confused, but didn't say a word, knowing that we'd discuss it later.

-Can someone explain? —Nick asks, confused and wanting to know what was going on.

Matt also looked at us confused, but not so interested in knowing like Nick was.

-We made a bet, if he won I would owe him one, if I won he would do everything I wanted for a week. Then we thought he had won, he already made the request he wanted and I accepted it, now we saw that I was the one who won for a short time, so thank you very much.

Chris rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh, watching me intently with an expression that could almost confuse me with anger if I didn't know exactly what he was doing. I walk a few steps to the side, getting closer to Chris and whispering in his ear.

-You'll have to make me cum at least twice every day for the entire week.

He holds his smile, biting his cheek and locking his jaw, taking his eyes off me and walking to the couch, sitting in the middle of the brothers. Without saying anything, I walk to the kitchen, taking a can of pepsi that the boys brought and sit down next to Nick, who took turns looking between me and Chris, still not understanding much.

-You're not telling me what happened while we were gone? —Nick looks straight at me, hoping I'd tell him all the details, but this time I couldn't say anything.

It would be better and funnier to keep it a secret for now, just as I agreed with Chris.

I open the can, taking a few sips and looking at my friend with a smile.

-Nothing happened, we just made a bet and fought as usual. And I won, so I'm going to make sure this is a very long week for Chris.

I look at Chris with a sarcastic smile, who just looks at me without reaction and turns his gaze to Matt, bringing up some random subject. I knew he was probably making a giant effort not to look suspicious and I was holding myself back from laughing.

-You guys are weird. —Nick says, rolling his eyes and ignoring the situation. I felt relieved that he didn't insist on knowing more, not knowing if I was going to be able to keep this character under pressure for long.

I pick up my phone and start to mindlessly navigate through social media, distracting myself and talking from time to time with Nick. The hours went by and it was already super late.

-I think I'll go to bed, you coming? —Nick asks.

The two of us always shared his bed when I slept at their house. I was supposed to leave today, but I ended up staying late without even realizing it and didn't want to drive home alone.

-I'll go later.—I give him a smile and he smiles back, walking up the stairs to his room.

Matt had already locked himself in his room a few minutes ago, so once again it was just me and Chris in the living room. He looks at me intently, as if afraid to say something. I get up from the couch, glancing at him before going to the kitchen and throwing the empty pepsi can in the trash. Without saying anything, Chris followed me and turned my body so that I could look at him. Our gazes met and he took turns between my eyes and my lips before pulling me in for a long and heated kiss.

-My room. —He says, guiding me down the stairs again by the hand and locking the door as soon as we pass through it.

He kisses me again, already running his hands over my body until he takes off my shirt and throws it on the floor once again.

Soon enough our clothes were back to the floor and he was on top of me, aligning his dick with my entrance and thrusting all of him at once, making sure to cover my mouth with his hand to prevent me from moaning loudly as he starts to move faster and deeper.

-Fuck, you're so hot, I'm glad you're all mine now. —He whispers in my ear.

I close my eyes and bite my lips to prevent myself from moaning too loud, letting out a few hisses from time to time. Chris uses his hand that previously covered my mouth to trace circles on my clit, making me grip his hair and arch my body, begging for more.

-Chris, fuck, don't stop, please. —I plead, between moans, seeing him smile and increase the speed even more.

I left scratches that would definitely make red marks on his body, but I didn't care about it now, neither did he.

Chris was impressively good, he knew exactly what he was doing. He was so good that he made all the other guys I had sex with look pathetic.

-You look so beautiful moaning my name and begging me to fuck you. Even prettier now that you're all mine.

His words triggered my thrid orgasm of the night, his name escaping my lips like a mantra as he looked at me like a starved man looks at a meal.

-Good girl. —He smirks.

His own orgasm followed right after, a whine leaving my lips as I feel him shooting his load inside me and pulling away to collapse on the bed beside me.

After we caught our breaths, I let out a giggle, making Chris look at me confused, but with a tiny smile.

-Maybe it doesn't take much for me to stop hating you after all, you just gotta fuck me like that more times.

I shrug, making him smile and pull me in for a kiss. We put our clothes back on and went back to bed.

-Stay here tonight. —He asks, looking at me intently, his eyes showing me that he meant it.

-Nick's gonna be suspicious if I don't come up. But don't worry too much, we'll have plenty of time to sleep together along the week.

I press a quick peck on his lips and leave his room, walking up the stairs with a smile on my face.

Before I could open Nick's door, my phone vibrates with a new notification and I unlock it to read.

"gn pretty girl, come kiss me goodbye before u leave tomorrow"

I smile even more, typing a reply.

"pack some stuff, ur leaving w me tomorrow, I'll make an excuse about the bet we made to matt and nick so they don't find it too weird, ur staying with me all week pretty boy"

I open Nick's door, seeing him lying in bed scrolling through with his phone and he soon breaks into a smile when he sees me. We talked for a few minutes until we fell asleep.

When I woke up the next day, I warned Matt and Nick about the bet me and Chris made and said that he would come back with me 'cause he needed to do everything I asked during the week. They laughed, thinking it would be torture for Chris to stay with me for so long.

Back to my place, along the week, Chris treated me like a princess all the time, it almost felt like we were a couple. The dynamic between us changed so much so fast, but it was way better like this. We got to know each other without all the fights and arguments, and I actually started to like him. He showed me parts of him I had no idea that even existed, and how he was making me feel, the way he now talked to me and all the cute things he'd do or say was something unexpected by me.

He also kept his promise to make me cum twice a day, some days even exceeding that amount. Surprisingly, this was the best week I've had in a long time, and it was with him.

tags 💕

@fratbrochrisgf @aaliyahsturniolo1 @sturnsvlg @edgemaster696 @user9383738392 @bigbeefybitch @riowritesitall

[zombvic]

They are talking in real life. I should’ve been more specific when I requested it

I’m sorry. I hope you have a good day 🫶🏻🫶🏻

I'D BE YOURS IF YOU'D ASK. (kenan yildiz x reader)

summary : in which y/n ghosts the turkish footballer during their "situationship" whilst talking to another football player

face claim : no-one

notes : thank you for requesting !! lets pretend the copa america isnt going on at the same time as the euros lmao

pairings : kenan yildiz x reader , angsty fluff (?)

Y/n was familiar with the game of footballers. The heartbreak you'd get from talking with football players and then getting ignored out of nowhere, also known as ghosting. After multiple failed "talking stages" and "situationships" with various football players from all around the world, Y/n decided it was her turn to become the so-called ghoster. She enjoyed the sense of control and power it gave her.

As of June 2024, Y/n had been talking with a Turkish footballer named Kenan for about three months. After those three months, there was an undeniable change in the mood. She felt the conversations fade away, the replies becoming drier. After three months, you’d expect their relationship to progress, but instead, it felt like things were regressing.

A week had passed since she ghosted Kenan. She didn't choose the ideal time because the Euros were about to start. She thought maybe her absence would go unnoticed, or that Kenan would be too busy to care. But the truth was, she couldn’t handle the idea of being ghosted again. She took the first step to protect herself.

Kenan realized they hadn't talked in about a week while he was training for the Euros. The days were packed with intense practice sessions, team meetings, and strategy discussions. It wasn't until he had a quiet moment to himself that he noticed the absence of Y/n's messages. He checked his phone, scrolling through their last conversation, dated seven days ago.

He tried to brush off the feeling that she was ignoring him. Maybe she was just busy, maybe he was overthinking it. But as the days passed, he found himself missing her more than he expected. It wasn't just about the attention from her; it was the connection they shared, her way of always bringing his mood up, her way of cheering him up after a loss, the way she made him laugh, and how he could talk to her about anything going on in his life. He realized that he liked her much more than other friends do. He had a crush.

Even while training, Kenan's thoughts kept returning to Y/n. He made an effort to concentrate on the game, but it was difficult. What if she was truly over him? The thought of her abandoning him hit me like a blow to the stomach. Was she talking to another guy? Did she already have a boyfriend? Throughout the training, the worst-case scenarios couldn't stop forcing their way into his mind.

The day of the Georgia vs. Turkey game eventually arrived. Kenan decided to overlook the Y/n incident and concentrate on the match. However, he saw her in one of the VIP boxes as soon as he entered the field, he noticed her talking and giggling with a fellow football player, Kevin Alvarez. A wave of jealousy hit him. Why had she and Kevin come here? Is she trying to make me jealous? Is this some kind of game to her?

Kenan's attention split between the action on the field and Y/n in the crowd during the entire game. Kenan felt that Kevin was taking advantage of her companionship a bit too much. Knowing she was right there, laughing and giggling with someone else, made it difficult to focus.

Despite the distraction, Kenan played well and helped his team to win over Georgia. As the final whistle blew, he couldn't wait any longer. Eager to find out, he ran straight for the VIP box.

Kenan said "Y/n," as he walked up to her. Surprised to see him, she turned round, facing him. "Can we talk?"

Nodding, she followed him out of sight into a more peaceful area. "What's up, Kenan?"

He asked again, his irritation rising to the surface, "What's up? Why aren't you talking with me? And what's going on between Kevin and you?"

Y/n raised an eyebrow. "Kevin? We're just friends. What is your problem?"

"My problem? What is MY problem?! You ghosted me, Y/n. One day we're talking, and the next, nothing. Then I see you here with him, giggling, flirting like everything's fine. Like i"

"Look, every time I get into a so-called 'talking stage,' it always ends with me feeling like I'm bothering the person in question and never in a successful relationship. All I was doing is giving you space."

"Space?" Kenan frowned deeper. "I didn't ask for space. I wanted to talk to you. Instead, you left me hanging, making me think I did something wrong."

Y/n moved reluctantly, her eyes glancing away for a while before returning to his. "I am sorry Kenan. It wasn't my goal to hurt your feelings."

Kenan's jaw tightened, showing his simmering displeasure beneath the surface. "But why didn't you talk it out with me? We could have solved the problem, together."

Kenan shook his head, a mix of exasperation and relief flooding him. "Y/n, I like you. A lot. Seeing you with Kevin… it drove me crazy."

Her gaze eased as she turned to face him. "Kenan, I'd be yours if you'd ask. However, you have to understand that I can't deal with the constant unpredictability of our relationship."

Kenan held her hand in his. "Okay. So, I want to be your official boyfriend. I want to spend time with you, I want to take you out on dates, I want you to wear a jersey with MY name and MY number. I want a real relationship with you—not just a situationship or talking stage, an actual relationship."

As he was about to finish his sentence, Y/n hugged him. "Finally."

The tension slowly began to release as they stood there. They finally understood that they both wanted the same one thing: each other.

im hoping this is what you imagined while requesting, if not just lmk i can change anything <3

[ibetonlosinghuskies]

patience and pleasure pt 3

summary: after dealing with a tough injury, azzi is just hoping for some stability. after their plans fall through, paige finds a creative way to give her just that.

warnings: angst, suggestive language, brief mention of injury.

disclaimer: as always everything i write is fictional!

word count: 2.9k +

author's note: sorry for the long wait, thank you for being patient. i tried something a bit different here, i hope you all enjoy <3

~Flashback to November 2023~

azzi’s pov:

i know everyone loves to believe their best friend would do anything for them, but paige really would.

i knew it from the day i tore my acl. the way paige was crying for me, i thought she got hurt.

i’ll spare you the details but recovery was hell. the worst part was seeing how much of it paige took on. she was at every physical therapy appointment and check up. she called me every night to make sure i was doing my recovery exercises.

between school and practice, paige managed to check in on me at any opportunity.

and the crazy part is...she made it all look effortless.

i didn't want paige to feel like all her hard work was going to waste, so i refused to let her see me when things got really bad. which as of recently, has been the case.

it felt like i was losing years of progress day by day. sometimes i'd lay down and physically feel the time and dedication being stripped from my body. i poured myself into this sport just for everything to be taken from me in an instant.

everything except her.

i remember one night in particular so vividly. i’d spent all day resting and watching enough reality tv to numb my mind.

paige called me every chance she got. seriously, you would’ve thought she was the one injured.

“AZZI, HOW WE FEELIN TODAY,” she yells through the phone.

“oh i’m doing great, p. thanks for asking,” i said sarcastically.

“you know what day it is right?” she asks, her excitement rising.

every year, we’d pick a day in the fall to drive out to my favorite restaurant, charlie’s. they have this amazing fresh basil pizza that i would (no lie) kill somebody for.

the tradition started after paige and i tried to learn how to cook at my house and almost burned down the place. after that, we agreed we'd just make the trip at least once a year. the only bad part was that charlie’s was about two hours away.

“yes, paige. how could i forget?” i say trying not to let her hear my smile through the phone.

“just making sure, i’ll pick you up in an hour,” she responds.

i started getting ready, carefully avoiding my leg. i wouldn’t say this to paige but i’d really been struggling. as much as having her here was great, playing with her was when the magic happened. so i’ve been really looking forward to this, at least some things didn’t change.

i was almost done getting ready when i got another call from paige.

“hey…azzi, bad news,” she speaks softly as if she might scare me. “charlie’s got shut down last month.” she sounds almost as disappointed as me.

“oh,” i respond. it feels as if my world had just collapsed.

i can’t think of anything else to say.

“i’m so sorry azzi, we’ll do something else. i know how hard everything's been recently,” she pleads frantically. she almost sounds like she’s gonna cry.

“nah p, it’s fine really,” i try to sound happy.

“hey i’ll talk to you later, k?” i hang up before she can hear my voice break.

god, why does everything have to be so terrible right now.

paige’s pov:

when i found out about charlie’s, my heart broke for her.

i'd been visiting or calling azzi almost every day since the accident. i know she's gotten annoyed by my overly enthusiastic phone calls but it's the only way i've been getting a smile out of her.

i still remember the first time we went together. from outside, charlie's didn't look like anything special. just another hole-in-the-wall joint tucked between a pawnshop and a laundromat.

but my god, the way her eyes lit up when we stepped inside.

the small interior illuminated by the warm glow of an excessive amount of lamps and chandeliers. none of which followed any cohesive style.

vintage southern soul records croon from the speakers with a gritty authenticity.

i wasn’t a fan of the food to be completely honest, the basil pizza azzi raved about tasted like...pizza to me? the real beauty of charlie's was the ambience.

azzi was the air that breathed life into this place.

a honeyed glow kaleidoscope refracted on her face, her smile still brighter than the surplus of lights. while we ate, azzi gushed over the art covering the wall. effortlessly naming different artists' with the ease of a soul singer.

despite looking like they hadn't been watered in years, resilient dark green vines twisted around bookshelves and counters. the rebellious desire to bloom.

a pale imitation of my admiration for her.

the drive back home was my favorite. a peace seemed to have washed over her, clearly satisfied with our trip. with a special kind of softness only azzi had, she'd hum to herself.

i'd sneak looks at her while driving, watching as the sun flickered on her face through the trees. a slight breeze carrying her curls. the drive was long and boring but moments like this made it all worth it.

so when i found out about charlie's closing, i knew exactly what i needed to do.

it only occurred to me after i'd been deciding between tomato sauces for a half hour, that i might have a thing for her. i stood in the aisle, comparing two nearly identical cans, scanning ingredients like a mad man.

get it together, bueckers. its just pizza.

but it wasn't. it was the way her eyes darted around the room. the slightly higher pitch she took on when she talked about it. the velvety texture of her laugh.

it was her.

i just want everything to be perfect. she deserves it.

i bought both cans just to be safe, plus i needed an extra just in case i burn the first batch.

i must've looked like a crazy person, repeating the list of ingredients under my breath. finally snapping out of my trance, i locked eyes with a bouquet of flowers. the same kind of flowers she'd put in her hair when we went on vacation.

a postcard from simpler times, laced with her careless joy.

without a second thought, i threw them into my basket. the hard part would be what came after. i can't cook to save my life.

after countless attempts and enough youtube tutorials to last a lifetime, i finally had something. a misshapen pizza in the vague form of a heart.

at the very least, it'll make her laugh.

the second hard part was picking an outfit. i usually had no trouble finding an outfit to fit any event but tonight was different. it felt like i had sifted through my entire closet when i finally spotted it– one of azzi tank tops.

would it be weird if i showed up to her house in her clothes?

all things considered, i think it'd be the least strange thing i've done for her tonight. i lifted the top over my head slowly, letting myself catch a hint of her perfume. an earthy vanilla haze coating my thoughts, heat rushing to my face. i'm almost jealous of the damn thing for getting to be so close to her.

if i focus hard enough i can almost feel her touch.

despite my own preferences, i left my hair down. shaking out my roots so my curls fell a bit out of place.

she'll fix it for me anyways. she always does.

i know her. her warm brown eyes will scan my hair and she'll try to ignore it until she can't anymore. she'll let out a big dramatic sigh and roll her eyes then tuck one of my loose curls behind my ear. maybe even throw in a comment or two about charging me for being my personal hairstylist. but behind her sarcasm, azzi's touch carried a kindness i'd never seen before.

i tapped my fingertips anxiously against my steering wheel when i pulled into her driveway. i took a sharp deep breath before stepping out of the car. i'd been to her house hundreds of times, but there was something different about this.

i just hope i did everything right.

my hand shakes slightly as i ring her doorbell.

azzi's pov:

my body flinched when i heard my doorbell. i had been trying to take my mind off of charlie's closing by finally reading one of my favorite thrillers. a bit paranoid after reading so much suspense, i took a deep breath before walking to the door.

i swear if it's another one of those salespeople again. like how many times do we gotta say we're not gonna get solar panels? and at this time of the night? that's some persistence.

as i swing the door open, and my words catch in my throat. paige stands there, fighting off a soft smile. in one hand she carries a small glass container, her nervous fingers fidgeting with the foil on top. in the other hand, golden yellow and red flowers peek out from behind her.

she didn't.

"i just thought i'd– " before she can finish her sentence i fling my arms around her neck nearly knocking both items out of her hands.

feeling her arms wrap around my waist, i nearly cry. my eyes sting and i take a steadying breath into her ear.

paige might just be an earth angel.

my heart swells in my chest, a sweet ache. with my head on her shoulder, a familiar scent wafts toward me.

was that my perfume?

i hug her for a beat longer when i finally pull away, her fingers trace my waist.

she wears my clothes like they were made for her.

"you could've told me you were gonna get all dressed up," i tease eyeing my shirt.

"we always get dressed up for charlie's," she shoots back with a smile.

and just like that, i'm okay again.

holding the door open for her, i get a good look at her outfit. my gaze lingering on her curves, the fabric melting around the rough edges of her muscles.

even in my porch light, she looked like a supermodel.

watching her plate the food, i felt something deeper than my usual admiration for her. she carefully finds a vase for the flowers. she could navigate my kitchen blindfolded. her fingers sorting through my silverware, a domestic intimacy. things were always so easy with her.

for a moment, i could see our future– not as a new vision, but our inevitable path. a kitchen of our own, shared tableware, late night cooking. i felt a claim to this future like it was promised to me.

shit– i've been staring at her this whole time. i should help her with the food.

i bend over the counter to grab the plates, letting my body drape over her forearm for a moment. i feel her eyes trace my body, a nervous awareness of my movements. straightening my spine, i caught her eye. a carnation-pink dusting her cheek, she snapped her eyes to the floor.

oh, i'm definitely gonna have to catch her staring more often.

as she unwraps the container, i finally get a good look at the pizza: an irregularly shaped crust, with slightly burnt edges.

is that supposed to be a heart?

a giggle bubbles up in my chest and i turn my face to hide it.

"paige, what happened here?" i say between laughs. my eyes softening out of genuine sympathy.

"hey!" she's immediately defensive. "this is a piece of modern abstract art, you're into that stuff anyways," she pokes my side smiling.

"ah, yes. was picasso an inspiration for you in this piece?" i tease.

the fact that paige can't microwave popcorn without setting off the smoke detector but managed to make a whole pizza for me is...impressive to say the least. i almost don't believe it was her.

did she really learn how to cook for me?

my heart swells at the thought of her checking the oven anxiously, flour dusting her cheek. the image is so sweet, it makes my head hurt.

"well, i think it's perfect," i finally let her off the hook.

"that's not all either," she grabs her phone out of her pocket.

a playful smile tugs at the corners of her lips as she scrolls. finally tapping her phone, a few familiar notes of a song plays. it takes me a moment before i recognize it– "loved by you" by kirby.

oh god, she wouldn't–

but of course, she would. grabbing a wooden spoon as a microphone, she belts in right before the chorus.

"cause i heard that heaven ain't easy to get to…" her voice cracks but from the look on her face she's completely tone deaf.

i take a seat, raising my eyebrows at her while holding in a laugh. she beams at me, dramatically taking a deep breath before the next line.

"closest i'll get might be right next to you," she drags out the last note. her wooden spoon microphone in one hand, she cups my face with the other. i can't help but flash her a smile, her thumb falling into my dimple.

a loving warmth radiates from her touch, i have to resist the urge to lean into her palm.

only paige could look this gorgeous while being so ridiculous.

there's something so special about seeing her like this. dancing around my kitchen with the confidence of veteran performer. unabashedly herself, pouring out her heart just to make me laugh. this is when she looks the most beautiful.

"paige, my neighbors are gonna think i'm torturing small animals in here," i taunt.

"boo, you're such a hater," she laughs between verses, still singing.

her hair falls out of place slightly, just adding to her beauty. standing up, i take the strand and tuck it behind her ear. her singing softens to a whisper when she feels my touch.

breathless, her eyes flicker to my lips, and i swear i could hear her heartbeat race. i search to meet her eyes but they remain intently on my lips. her sweet nervous breath tingling against my cheek. she sways ever so slightly, and my breath hitches, thinking she's gonna close the gap.

"azzi–" she closes her eyes briefly.

she's so close to giving in, i can see the indecision on her face.

"how have you been, like really," her eyes open, filled with tender worry.

her question catches me off guard. i thought i'd been doing a good job keeping all this to myself.

she sees right through me.

after everything she's done for me tonight, i owe her a bit of vulnerability. i take a deep sigh before answering.

"it's been... tough. yeah. i haven't been doing great." i respond, recalling countless days i've spent wishing i could get back to normal.

"you know, i'm here for you, right?" her words carry intention, i know she means it.

"i know, i just didn't want to be a burden," i feel my words catch in my throat. my eyes start to water.

"oh, azzi–" she pulls me into a deep hug. "never say that again."

paige has this amazing ability to make my worries disappear in just a few sentences.

i melt into her hug, my body going slack in her arms. a few tears land on her shoulder. i can't think of the right thing to say, caught between thanking her and apologizing.

"whatever you want, okay? i'm here. even if it takes a million of those little picasso pizzas," she laughs softly, stroking my back.

"speaking of which, they're probably getting cold by now," i pull back collecting myself.

she nods, giving my hand a squeeze before letting go. despite its shape, the food is great. dare i say it may even be better than charlie's, but i wouldn't tell her that.

like always, we fall into an easy conversation. in just the span of a dinner, i can feel weeks of heavy apathy fall off my shoulders.

how did i get so lucky?

paige's pov:

seeing her smile was the highlight of my night. even if it was just for a few hours, i'm glad to have my girl back.

empty plates sit forgotten on the counter as we lounge in her living room. sitting as still as i possibly can, azzi's head rest on my shoulder. her breath slows to a sweet hum. i watch her chest rise and fall like waves crashing on the shore as she dozes off.

of course, she also looks pretty when she sleeps.

i hate to interrupt this beautiful moment, but it was getting late.

"azzi," i whisper to her, trying to wake her gently.

"hm," she whines, slowly blinking.

"i should probably get going," i say, hoping she can hear the reluctance in my voice. knowing if she said stay, i would.

"okay..." she responds finally sitting up. "just one more thing."

anything. whatever she wants.

"yeah, what's up," i try to sound nonchalant like i wouldn't drop everything for her in an instant.

"can you help me take my brace off so i can change clothes?" she sounds almost embarrassed for having to ask.

"yes, of course," i respond, failing to hide my eagerness.

she stands in front of me, using my shoulders for stability. my fingers work at the straps gently. my movements are deliberate and careful as i grip her hips. as she changes, i find a spot to stare at on the floor respectfully.

"better?" i ask.

"yeah, thanks" she replies bashfully.

i stand to hug her goodbye. i swear it hurts a little more each time i leave.

"thank you...for all of this," her breath tickling my shoulder as she speaks.

"always." i hope she knows i mean it.

loving azzi was the easiest thing i've ever done in my life.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

???: All My life I'd been told the same thing ...

~~~~~

Hunter Mouse 1: Out of the way Runt!

Hunter Mouse 2: All you're good for is bait YOu little- Little!

~~~~~

Little: Their words were harsh, their tongues as sharp as their spears.

Little: But I'd show them.

~~~~~

Rusted Knight: So you wish to learn to Hunt, Little Mouse? Well, I believe I know just the Place to learn! My own Alma Mater, Beacon Academy!

Little: Well how do I get there?

Rusted Knight: It will be a very long trek for one such as yourself!

Little: I can make it!

~~~~~

Little: I crossed impossible blockages ...

Little splashes haggardly through a tiny puddle of water caused by a light rain

Little: Outsmarted Brilliant Enemies ...

Little Sprints through the Red Prince's Castle

Little: Faced the greatest of foes ...

~~~~~

CC: Where are you going Little Hunter Mouse?

Little: To be the best I can Be!

~~~~~

Little: But even when I made it to the Academy ...

Little avoids the tromping boots of humans around them

Little: I found I needed Help. So I went searching ...

Little sprints through the Vale Streets, searching for someone with a weapon like at the academy.

Little: And Searching ...

Little scurries into a quiet, but smelly and populated place.

Little: And searching.

~~~~~

Qrow: Yeah, Poor Rube's is ... She's uh ... got a lotta heart but she needs to put some more work in ... Could use help.

Little: Hmm ... If only I knew who that was!

~~~~~

Little: And as luck would have it ... She was searching for me too.

~~~~~

Ruby: Are- Are you Robbing me?

Roman's Goon: Yeah!

Little: *Grabs Ruby's Hair*

Ruby: *Throws the goon through the Window*

Ruby: Ow- My hair!

Little: Sorry! I just wanted to help!

Ruby: Who-

Roman's other Goons: HEY HERO!

Ruby: *Grabbing CR*Aw Crud! (Whoever you are keep helping me out!)

Little: (I'll Try!)

Ruby: *Shoots a guy into the next one* (nice Shot!)

Little: (Thanks?)

~~~~~

Little: I'll never forget what happened ...

~~~~~

*At some point after Ozpin's offer*

Ruby: *Tearing her hood off* (Okay, Who Are you!)

Little: I'm called little! It's nice to really meet you!

Ruby: ... you're a mouse.

Little: A hunter mouse!

Ruby: and you're talking.

Little: Yeah, a lot of other mice here are feral. It's a bit scary!

Ruby: Okay. You know what? Either I'm in a dream I don't wanna wake up from, or this is really happening.

Ruby: Why- What- how did you-

Little: I'm here to be the Greatest Hunter I can be! To help people and not just be ... a Little runt!

Ruby: I ... know that feeling.

Ruby: Hey ... I want to be the greatest Huntress in the World ... And you wanna be the greatest Hunter in the world ... Ozpin only gave me that offer because you helped me fight Torchwick!

Little: Yeah? It was fun!

Ruby: yeah! but neither of us could've done it alone-

Little: So we work together?

Ruby: Yes! *Holding out her finger to shake* Deal?

Little: *Grabbing Ruby's finger* Deal!

~~~~~

Little: Because it was the Beginning of our journies to be the Greatest there ever was!

~~~~~

RATASHOOTIE

Coming soon to own on Video and DVD!

~~~~~

Nora: That's the Pitch! Now, I'm torn between the taglines "A Little hope goes a Long Way," "On a Hair Trigger," and "The Hunt is On!"

Nora: What do you think is Best?

Ruby: ... Nora?

Nora: Yeah?

Ruby: This is-

Jaune: Going to be a masterpiece! As for the tagline- "The Hunt is on" is my favorite! It's a little cheesy, Not as punny as "on a hair trigger" and not as bland as "A Little hope goes a Long Way."

Nora: Thank you JAune! What were you saying Ruby?

Ruby: This is insane! How did you Fund this!

Nora: Weiss.

Ruby: ... *Clicks tongue, nodding* Yeah. Yeah that makes sense. She the Director?

Nora: Her and Whitley are going to be handling the Score.

Ruby: Hmm. Well, Yang would be upset if you didn't go with the Pun ... So I agree with Jaune!

[batsplat]

Oh im obses whit your blog like you are such a great historian on vale and love the way you analys stuff admire the way of writing all of your toughs in such a corent way 🩷🩷🐹

this is so nice, thank you!! okay so this ask was initially sent in response to this post about how marc knew what a dick valentino was to his rivals and appreciated/wished to emulate that side of him, in particular in the context of copying the jerez pass. and... well, there is one more follow-up post to that I did want to make. it didn't really work within that post because it's pretty speculative, but I think it's fun! here goes

so you know argentina 2018, right, big drama, reconciliation over, bla bla (I promise this is going in a more fun direction, stick with me here). there's a bit of marc's post-race media scrum that I am a wee bit obsessed with. or well, two specific lines, one in english (0:00) and one in spanish (1:02) - I've included the full responses for context, but in this post I'm really only interested in those two lines

in english:

But he was in the past also 25 years old, and will remember, everybody.

and in spanish:

He has also been 25 years old and, well, I hope that people also remember.

... 25 years old, did you say?

okay, look, fair warning. the rest of this post is going to be reading too much into what was probably an off-handed comment - even if, I'd just like to point out, it is something he felt the need to say twice. but let's just have some fun here, and read too much into it. as a treat

so obviously the most generic way to read this is him saying 'well valentino used to be really aggressive on-track too, so people shouldn't be criticising me more than they did him'. thing is, I wouldn't say there was that much of a noticeable decline in how aggressive valentino was being, and 2017 did still feature some major scraps where valentino very much got his elbows out (cf assen and phillip island, I included a bit more detail on this in the marc race rec post). sure, valentino did increasingly have his reservations about some of the behaviour of younger riders, so maybe he was less aggressive now relative to the field... but I just don't feel like that's quite what this line is implying. it's also not about valentino making 'mistakes' in general, because there would have been no reason to refer back to past-valentino in that regard... the 25 year old version of valentino was considerably more error-free than the 39 year old

so then, my theory is that it's about valentino's controversies! that's what people "will remember", right - it's not the general style of riding, not just innocent mistakes, it's the times when valentino caused a bit of a stir on and off the race track. now, again, you could go the generic route here and say 'ah well maybe marc is just thinking of all the mess valentino got himself involved in when he was younger, from getting into a fist fight with max biaggi at age 22 to pissing off casey stoner through his aggressive riding at laguna at age 29'. but let's say for a moment that marc was thinking a bit more specifically than that... after all, if we're just talking about valentino controversies in general, surely marc should be able to think of a rather more recent example where valentino, like marc at argentina 2018, caused another rider to crash and was subsequently penalised for his riding? of course, marc probably didn't want to bring up that particular controversy - but it's still interesting he feels the need to refer back to a younger version of valentino at all, the fact that this crossed his mind in the first place to make him bring it up unprompted while making his case. so maybe when marc, who is after all a known valentino rossi fan, refers twice to what valentino was like at "25 years old"... he is in fact thinking of what valentino was like when he was 25 years old. and in what year would that be? well, here's the thing. it would be 2004

readers of the sete post can probably guess where I'm going with this, but let's just take a moment to review what specific on-track incidents marc could be thinking of here. let's give him a little bit of extra leeway in terms of the age, even though I trust marc to be more on top of the exact age gap than valentino was in times past. let's throw in one year either way, so 2003 to 2005, and draw up a list of any particularly controversial races valentino was involved in. here's what I've got:

assen 2004 - valentino executed a hard overtake for the win on the last lap on sete gibernau. he's not in complete control and almost loses the front at the next corner, which would have taken them both out

qatar 2004 - after his team rubber up his grid slot the night before, valentino gets slapped with a back-of-the-grid penalty. he ends up crashing out of the race and burns his relationship with sete in the aftermath

jerez 2005 - at a time when their relationship is already very chilly, valentino and sete engage in another duel. valentino executes a block pass with contact at the final corner and is booed by the crowd

motegi 2005 - the first chance to seal that year's title, and one valentino would very much have liked to take to spite honda. an unwise overtaking attempt on melandri leaves both on the ground

so, my guess is that neither assen nor motegi were really big enough controversies to fit the bill, though maybe they stuck in marc's mind as instances of 'reckless riding' that he includes in a more generic internal understanding of young valentino rossi. we do of course know for a fact that marc was more than aware of what happened at jerez 2005, not least because he, you know, directly copied that move twelve years later (again, link to the relevant post). like marc in argentina 2018, valentino barged into a rival in rather controversial fashion, and obviously it also made the relationship between him and said rival deteriorate still further. sure, you can't really argue the move was 'as bad' as argentina 2018, but as far as I'm concerned it has the same general vibe

you know what else has the same general vibe? here's a race description for you:

a 25 year old rider is sent to the back of the grid for a reason they consider unfair

they proceed to deliver a phenomenal performance even by their lofty standards, quickly working their way up to a position that seemed unattainable to them

they barge a rival out of the way in their impatience, reaching back to apologise for the move

the race ends poorly for them and they fail to score any points

afterwards, their relationship with a rival is ruined as a result of the events of the race, and the whole thing remains a lingering controversy for years to come

one race that fits this description is, of course, argentina 2018. the other is qatar 2004. there's obviously plenty of details that are significantly different - valentino's move on barros is less egregious and far less controversial, and his race ends in the gravel rather than with a post-race time penalty. still, that start of valentino's? the impatience? the post-race fury? the repercussions this race had? come on, look at the race footage I included in the qatar post and tell me there's not a little bit of a shadow of that qatar fury to the argentina recklessness

this is a point I snuck into the marc race recs post, where I included this excerpt from a post-argentina 2018 write-up:

phillip island 2003, hm? as it happens, in the qatar post, I did include a bit of the autobiography that compares those two specific races:

so, phillip island 2003: a performance that made everyone wonder just how much valentino had left in reserve to draw on whenever he needed it. what valentino is saying here is that this performance wasn't a result of him holding back in all the other races that year - this was speed that was accessible to him only in that moment because he was so angry. so yes, maybe it's a valid question to wonder what would have happened at phillip island 2003 if it hadn't just been the ghost of his bike that had to pick its way through the stragglers. then again, valentino says it's not just rage that does the trick for him - it's controlled rage... which is all well and good, except when you lose control

and see also:

that's what argentina 2018 is all about, isn't it? it's a performance that's rooted in impatience, in restlessness, in frustration - where marc tuns his "rage into pure speed", as valentino would put it, in a hubristic dismissal of the rest of the field. ideally, the two of them channel those emotions to spur themselves on to special, signature performances... but sometimes, it gets the better of them. it got the better of marc that day in argentina and cost him the tentative peace with valentino. at qatar, it could have cost valentino the title

(also shades of this in jerez 2020 - an error sets the stage for some extraordinary pace before it all goes wrong) (catalunya 2003 is a fun more compact nephew to that race without the unhappy ending)

now, look, am I saying that marc was really referring back to qatar 2004 specifically, a race that had happened fourteen years earlier, when making an off-hand remark in a post-race media scrum as he tried to do some damage control in the wake of one of the most controversial races of his career? well, no. he could have been! but it's unlikely. maybe he's shit at maths and was actually thinking about laguna 2008 after all. still, I would like to once again point out that he felt the need to mention valentino's behaviour at age twenty five not once but twice. he's telling us that he wants people to remember what valentino was like at that age, and in the most literal sense I am doing what he's asking for. surely it's worth at least noting that there just happens to be a race where valentino was at that exact age and his temper overcame his rationality, leading to him making a costly error... surely it's worth acknowledging this...

even if marc wasn't actually obliquely referring back to that race or indeed any of the races I mentioned above, of course the parallels between valentino's foibles and marc's are in any case interesting. it speaks to how they get those special performances out of themselves, the similarities in how they operate in that regard... but of course also in how they both sometimes stray rather close to the limit, how they repeatedly flirt with crossing the line. a stubbornness and a hubris and a rage that can sometimes lead to disaster for the both of them. and another thing - who knows if marc was thinking about qatar 2004, but he must have been thinking about something. that's the point of that jerez post, right... marc is valentino's successor in so many ways, he has fashioned himself in valentino's image - and he keenly grasps and remains aware of all the different aspects of that legacy. he's the most accomplished of valentino's students and he felt strongly that what he did in that race in argentina was in some way comparable to what valentino himself had been doing at his age, part of the same tradition even. yes, to some extent marc is obviously accusing valentino of hypocrisy here: how can you judge me when you were once young and foolish too? his tone isn't exactly filled with remorse either, is it, he's pretty feisty in that media scrum! still, there's something more to it... something almost poetic to the whole thing, wouldn't you say? valentino had just accused marc of ruining the sport - and in response marc wants people to remember that they are just the same

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic Joel Miller

It's been a time in my world. Busyness and writer's block has been troubling. I think a lot of it stems from just feeling behind in general, so I thought I might launch into a catch-up campaign for myself ... in reading fic.

And I had a lot of this fella to catch up on.

So hold onto your butts, my friends, because herein lies the fics I loved in my several weeks of just. reading. Joel. <3

Spinner by @insomniamamma Joel has such a caretaker streak in him that being observant and taking to a neuro-divergent reader rings so true. I love a huddling-for-warmth tale--I do so enjoy a good cuddle with a gruff broad man.

The Reason for the Season by @prolix-yuy Now here's a fun idiots-to-lovers take where one of the yearners is our Joel. When Ellie has questions about old traditions, he takes her to the other idiot--a school teacher with a warm smile and some yearns of her own. Aka you. I very much enjoyed this tale of finding the many varied and true meanings for the Holiday in all its forms.

Please Mister Please by @grogusmum Hazel imagines Joel as a kindred lovely soul, one that has a song of his own that brings sorrow, just like yours does you. But is seems he has a better song in mind....

Carpe Diem by @boliv-jenta I love that fic writers want nothing ore in the world than to tell Joel he's going to get taken care of and doesn't have a choice in the matter. I'm so glad this one afforded him the chance to actually speak and grab the moment...even with a little help from a friendly weed...

Year of Small Joys: A Quiet Night In by @keldabe-kriff I'm in love with this little slice of post-apocalypse life. It gives me hope that even if the world falls apart, there will still be the chance to find the quiet somewhere, and with someone...

Simple Pleasures by @julesonrecord Listen. i don't care if the info trail goes cold or not. If it means getting off with Joel--even this cranky, somber version of him--I already consider my self lucky.

Able by @ladamedusoif I have no doubt that a cane would come in handy during an apocalypse, and for many reasons. It's fun to watch Joel realize it too, and to walk the reader through one of the things he knows--a full-blown panic attack. Disabled reader represent!

Snooze by @tightjeansjavi Short. Sweet. Quiet. A soft drabble of everything I want--now that Joel is safe and sinking into a domestic life, he loves him some naps. And with naps comes warmth and lazy days, and a big ol' bear of a man to cuddle with.

Mine by @secretelephanttattoo I really really love this beautifully written meditation on Joel and Tess' relationship; how they share intimacy and how they won't. It's heartbreaking and beautiful and so very real.

When His Eyes Open by @undercoverpena A beautiful train of thought from Joel as he opens his eyes to find you awake next to him, thankful for what you represent in his life. It's so soft and wonderful. It's a drabble, but I could read a whole multi-chapter fic of this.

.

BY @something-tofightfor

Birthday Kiss #7: Joel Miller If I was stuck at the end of the world, I'd be thankful to have a Joel Miller to find me in the early hours, knowing exactly where I'd be and exactly what day it was, just to sing me a Happy Birthday.

Smutsgiving Feast 2023: Turkey - Joel Miller It's Thanksgiving in Jackson and Joel's been helping you get settled in after a traumatic past. Everything you need is here--family, an invitation, Joel carving a perfect turkey with his sleeves all rolled up...and perhaps there's more going on upstairs later....

Snow and Mistletoe (series) Rachael loves Christmas and I always look forward to her holiday fics since the coziness always comes through so strong in them. This series is no exception by far. A no-outbreak fic where you own a music store and Ellie's your niece and Sarah's her best friend and the two girls pull a parent trap on you and Joel in the very best way. It all unfolds against a backdrop of different holiday gatherings--social, work, family--and all of them sweet and beautiful and enticing in their own way. The season may be over, but this zinged me back in time a couple of months and I'm not mad about it. In fact, I'm thankful for it.

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BY @missredherring

Wrong Until You Make it Right A yearning Joel is always good in my book, but the earnest way he years after his plus-sized coworker here is so very juicy and sweet. I love to see him watch a lady do what she does best.

J.M. + "Tell me what you like" I think if I was stuck at the end of the world and asked Joel Miller to read to me because I had no glasses and he said yes, I might die of happiness on the spot.

Warming Up Joel deserves a good teasing, which is a little of what he gets for sleeping in while you go outside to shovel and then return to his furry, heated body to warm up. and, of course, maybe get a little recreational. After all, nothing warms up cold hands like all the bits and pieces of a Joel Miller.

A Flower in February I really love this story. Rachel does a good job of placing you firmly in the QZ with all of its bleakness, giving you one spot of color--a crocus in the snow. After a spot of bad luck with some bad people, Joel's there to set things right--well, as right as it can be. And I'll take it, because in the world of TLOU, it's everything.

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BY @ezrasbirdie

Observations This is so so sweet. Neuro-D reader is so observant about not being accepted or invited to be part of groups, it breaks my heart. But Joel sees her. Worries about her. Likes her. And he's getting better at pasta.

Sticky This one left me a mess. Maybe not as messy as the toy reader gives him to play with while she's gone or while she's on the phone, but I may have had to wipe the drool off my chin...

Crystal Now this one was made for me. Here we have a witchy reader and Joel has a lot of thoughts about her. Surprise though, because none of them are negative. They're curious and wondrous and endearing. He's bewildered by the hanging herbs and the rocks and oils, but they make her happy and that's all he asks. Sweet man.

Sparks Fly Two words: eating ass. That's what falls out of reader's mouth under the influence and perhaps that's a good slip because there's gonna be plenty going in her mouth--and Joel's--later on. And it's gonna be hot like fire.

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BY @blueeyesatnight

There's a Word for It As Blue says in her notes, this is where she lives. As in, it's what she does best. This here is a no nonsense meditation on Joel and Tess and how they met and how they functioned. There may or may not have been a word for what they had...it was many words. And they're all here in order, comprising this fic.

Trimmed This fic hit something deep in me, the way it uses memory is really lovely and really feels steeped in canon. The little things we share with someone, not worth mentioning to anyone else, hard to put into words how meaningful it is to you personally or maybe you don't know until they're gone...or until a familiarity with someone else triggers it...

Trouble This is a masterclass in examining Ellie and Joel after they return to Jackson. It weaves in and out of their shared POVs, examining their feelings about who they've become, how they justify Joel's actions and words, who they are to each other, how far they can trust one another, and maybe how tainted that love is. But it's still love all the same. It's amazing and packs a really good punch.

Honest Mistake A short and sweet trope reversal where Joel makes an honest mistake and instead of retrieving Tommy from a situation, kidnaps a boss instead. I love the way the brothers' relationship comes out in the dialogue.

Trying This fic broke my heart a couple of times. Blue imagines the Joel of beforetimes and then bridges the gap to Tess. The man just keeps at it, over and over....because its' what he knows. It makes his arrangement with Tess and actual heaven and I thank her for it.

I Like My Girls A Little Bit Older - (Over the Hill pair) And I like that Joel likes it. He certainly has a type and the reader in this fic has a real sassy, no-nonsense attitude that can meet Joel's in a pretty good dance. And that last sentence may be a spoiler for this story...maybe...

I Know Just What You're Saying - (Over the Hill pair) I love that when Joel is having trouble understanding a teenage girl, he has the foresight to go talk to someone what WAS one once. And that he cares enough to ask for the biiggest favor...and that the reader has no choice but to give it to him.

I Thought I Could Be Someone - (Over the Hill pair) There are so many forms of grief and some of them come out of nowhere from sources you never even knew. Blue does beautiful job in finding that moment here, all wrapped up in an unexpected softness from Joel. This is my favorite of the series yet.

Just Like Heaven - (Over the Hill pair) This brought me back to being a teenager, that "does he like me or want to keep me at arm's length" feeling, that "should I kiss him or is he gonna kiss me" feeling. Of course I get the ending I'm hoping for though! Blue is not gonna leave us hanging when it comes to Joel Miller.

That Summer Seemed to Last Forever - (Over the Hill pair) I still don't forgive Blue for this one. How dare she make me love so bittersweet? That's not to say it isn't beautiful and artfully done. Grab yer hankies, all.

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BY @morallyinept

O' Christmas Tree by @morallyinept This is a precious, delicate story, one in which Joel loves so deeply and hurts so much that the thought of losing you--a real possibility since you've been very ill. But he'd do pretty much anything to see you smile, even if it means facing down a day int he cold to bringyou something to warm your heart.

Northern Lights Imagine camping with Joel. Sharing a sleeping bag. Under the aurora. Hand stuff in the wild has never been so sweet and hot.

Saviour Harsh and heartbreaking and real, this Joel is almost beyond help and I love the way Jett so beautifully details the many little deaths of a survivor. Angst to spare here, but true to character all the way.

Adoration Imagine you are married to no-outbreak, breast-man Joel. Happy. Loved. With a lump. I'm so awed by this fic, that Jett takes a very common nightmare and examines it, never sugar-coating, never denying the difficulties. It's a hard process and maybe I cried. But then there's Joel and his beautiful, steady consistency. I've never been more in love.

Home I can't imagine the love of my life just disappearing one day...but Jett can. Don't worry though, there's a happy ending waiting for you.

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BY @maggiemayhemnj

Happy Tuesday There's no need for Valentine's Day if there's a Happy Tuesday. I love this take on a couple who know how sappy they are for each other but make a joke of subverting the sap. A no-outbreak Joel who's still 20 years on, 20 years in love, and 20 years loving it. Which is exactly how long I'll be loving these two.

A mini Happy Tuesday interlude (Spring prompt: Bees) - (Happy Tuesday pair) Maggie's damn good with a drabble, but even better with a good ending line. I smile every time.

He Sees You - (Happy Tuesday pair) If this is what goes through Joel's head as he watches you assess yourself in the mirror, then that man is in L O V E love.

Breakfast Is Served - (Happy Tuesday pair) I would do anything to be able to cook well, if only to be able to make biscuits for Joel Miller so we can sit at the table with messy bed head and use breakfast as Sunday foreplay.

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[sunlit-haruka]

It's kind of disheartening to me how the common fanon portrayal of Xander and David's dynamic is usually boiled down to Xander being a 'simp' (for lack of a better word) with a one-sided adoration and idolization of David. Especially after the latter's heel turn in CH2-11. And I say that because one of the most important facets of their dynamic to me is the fact that David also very much idolizes Xander just as much, if not more then Xander idolizes him. David believes the world cannot change, we know this. But I think an aspect of his philosophy that I think goes severely overlooked is just how badly he wants to not believe that. He wants to believe that the world can change, and more specifically, that people can change. This aspect of himself can be seen in many parts of his character. I'll most likely touch on this in a later post, but it's most likely part of why he devised his plan to share the secrets. It's very likely the reason he became a motivational speaker, and it plays a massive part in his two closest relationships during the killing game, Arei and Xander. But today, we're talking about Xander. David looks up to Xander. Incredibly so. Xander is everything that he wants to be.

David: You wanted to make Nico feel comfortable, even though you wouldn't necessarily get anything out of it.

Someone who is unconditionally kind to others with no ulterior deceitful motive, just for the sake of being kind to others.

David: You're always full of energy and bravery to achieve your goals, no matter what they are. Yet at the same time, you're a compassionate person who takes the time to help others.

Someone who strives for hope and change, and will never back down until he has it.

David: I have trouble believing that Xander would be the kind of person to commit murder.

An unquestionable Good Person.

That is why he pushes back so hard when Teruko accuses Xander of attempting to kill her. He refused to acknowledge the possibility that Xander, for all of his good qualities, might've been a much more deceitful person than he was letting on.

Because quite frankly, even though the two of them agreed to treat each other to treat each other less as role models and more as friends, if you ask me: I don't think David ever stopped seeing Xander as his role model. I mean, why would he? Like I said before, Xander is everything David wants to be, everything David so badly wishes he could be but has it etched into his brain that he is incapable of such. Xander is a light in his dark chasm of cynicism, a glimmer of hope. That maybe, just maybe...

Xander: Enough with these idols or role models, okay? Let's just be friends. David: I... David: I'd love that. Thank you.

Things could change.

Teruko: Earlier at lunch, Xander had asked for me to meet him in the computer lab, claiming that he wanted to tell me about some plan he had to confront the mastermind. Teruko: We both met up there after dinner, where he tried to murder me instead by stabbing me with the kitchen knife. David: Xander tried to kill you? I find that hard to believe.

And then the light starts flickering. I've mentioned it before in this post, but one of David's biggest flaws in his mindset is that it causes him to view people, including himself, in a nuance-less binary lens of black and white.

David: People who are born lazy, useless and stupid will stay that way until they die. If you were able to "improve" yourself into a better person, then it only means you were a better person to begin with.

You are either a good person, or a lazy, useless, stupid piece of shit. In simpler terms, you are either born a good person or you are born a bad person, and whichever you are born with will become your identity until the day you are in a casket. That is what David believes. Up until now, Xander was strictly placed into the slot of "good person". Not just that, but practically the opposite of what David deems as a "lazy, useless, and stupid" person. He himself has described Xander as someone who is full of energy and will do anything to achieve his goals, someone who takes the time to help others, and a compassionate and generally emotionally intelligent person. That is who Xander Matthews is to David. But now that he is being given evidence of a more potentially malicious side to Xander, the pitfalls of a firm black-and-white mindset rear their head and repeatedly bludgeon David in his own.

David: It's possible that those bloodstains are Xander's, not yours.

(he's reaching so fucking hard here and he fucking knows it, god I hate him. /pos)

David: Are you saying that Xander is a killer? I find that difficult to believe.

Teruko: -But I believe that the origin of the DVD is not from the culprit, but rather, from that person (SELECT: Xander) Teruko: It was most likely Xander. David: Xander... He planned something that manipulative?

David's monochrome mentality (Riproducer reference completely intended) makes it so that he cannot even fathom the idea that Xander, someone he previously marked off as not just a good person but the good person, is even capable of hurting someone, of being cruel enough to intentionally trigger someone just for his murder plan, to murder someone in general. If his feelings towards Min are anything to go by...

David: Something as horrible as this murder, as horrible as this class trial-- David: How dare you! You killed Xander, and you were perfectly willing to kill everyone else here to escape!

David: At that time, watching Min, I kept thinking... David: ... David: How utterly pathetic she was!

That would certainly bring Xander to the category of lazy, useless, stupid bastards. But David has already put Xander into the category of a "good person". So what else is he meant to do other than defend and deflect anything suggesting otherwise? David doesn't want to believe that that glimmer of hope that Xander gave him was just a lie, that hope that things could change, that he could change. So he defends it. He clings to it. He doesn't want to let go. But here's the funny thing about David. Despite his black-and-white mindset, despite the fact that he does believe good people exist, he will always be, first and foremost: A cynical bitch. Point being: I think David, deep down, knew full well that Teruko was most likely telling the truth. Like, I joked about it earlier, but do you really think he believed the lack-luster argument that completely ignored evidence that he could gleam by just looking at the crime scene? I think he was just reaching for anything at that point to try and prove himself wrong. But it's no use, the light continues to flicker. David's denial of Xander's cruelty is quiet to none, but it's clear he is still clinging desperately onto the positive image of Xander he used to have, seeing as he does not show nearly as much animosity (verbally anyway) towards Xander then he does towards Min, despite the fact that Xander also seemed more than willing to kill the rest of the class to escape. It's breaking. But after Min's execution, it's clear that it all hits him at once.

David: I... I've seen enough. There's no point in keeping my hopes up anymore. David: We are all certainly going to die here.

David Chiem left the courtroom that day with his hopes snuffed out, nothing left within him other than the cruel reminder of something he already knew:

If something is important, then

It'll break and disappear.

[howlingday]

The Hardest Thing to Say

Jaune: (Reading)

Cinder: (Climbing in through window) Well, hello there~.

Jaune: Ugh...

Cinder: So, I noticed you haven't been replied to a single meme I've sent you so I was wondering why you've been ignoring me.

Jaune: I thought me not saying "ha ha" was enough to get across that I didn't want to talk right now.

Cinder: Oh, come the fuck on, Arc, we're just going through a rough patch. Besides, you always want to hear from me~.

Jaune: (Sighs) Okay, Cinder. What do you want?

Cinder: I want to feel like I'm earning this partnership, so get your hands off that book and on my ass so you can SMACK it~!

Jaune: Wow. How poetic. I bet you really thought I'd be putty in your hands by now, huh?

Cinder: Er... Right, so... Okay, that was a shitty way for me to say it, but you usually like it when I dirty talk to you.

Jaune: (Scowls)

Cinder: (Groans) Come on! We don't words! We sex!

Jaune: This might be a surprise to you, Cinder, but I don't want "to sex." In fact, I don't even want to "words" with you! So would you please respect that?!

Cinder: Oh, don't be like that, Arc. (Leans, Pulls collar) Besides, you know you like to see this~.

Jaune: (Cringing) Seeing you is hard for me right now! I already feel bad about last night, and the fact that I'm getting an invite to this "Anti-Cinder" party as a "guest of honor" for being your most recent ex!

Cinder: ANTI-CINDER?! WHO THE FUCK IS BEHIND THIS?!

Jaune: It's just this immature get together. Honestly, it sounds like a load of baloney.

Cinder: Yes, yes, truly a real smorgasbord of processed meat! Let me see that!

Jaune: It was nice to get an invite, though. Maybe I should check it out.

Cinder: (Opens card)

Dearest Jaune Arc, You are cordially invited to join us as a guest of honor to celebrate having your fucking heart stomped to mush by Cinder Fall~! It is with great pride and honor that I extend this invitation, as the most recent ex, to the Ever After and indulge in our shared hatred of that stupid cunt! Eagerly awaiting the arrival of our "Guest of Honor,"

Neopolitan

Cinder: NEO?! Of course that fucking creep would...

Jaune: It's funny, though... Why would you have an entire party dedicated to hating you of all people?

Cinder: Because they're all bitter that I am simply too wild to tame~.

Jaune: You really think that's all it is?

Cinder: Of course! They're all jealous that I moved on and they didn't.

Jaune: Oh! That makes sense since YOU are the one who's breaking people's hearts!

Cinder: If by "bweaking pepoo's hots~" you mean I "end is shit before it becomes shit," then yes, and honestly, these people should be thanking me because everyone would be better off single.

Jaune: ...Heh. Yeah. You're right. Everyone would be better off single. So, why are you here, Cinder~?

Cinder: E- I- I am here because you still need to realize how good some angry revenge sex would feel right now!

Jaune: Oh, beat it, Cinder! ...NOW.

Cinder: Why?!

Jaune: Because I'm tired of this, Cinder! I don't like how you're talking to me!

Cinder: Oh, give me a fucking break, Arc! You know this has always been a fantasy of yours! You want me to be right on top of you so I can give you the best two hours of your life~!

Jaune: (Walks away) Stop it!

Cinder: You know I'm right! You love the idea of me being your little lapdog for you to show off so you can prove that there's good in everyone!

Jaune: I don't want you to be my lapdog! How many times do I have to fucking-?! When have I ever-?! (Exhales) You're just like Adam, you know that?! You know, the same guy who tried to kill me and YOU didn't even bother coming to help me yourself! Remember?!

Cinder: I am NOTHING like-! I-I didn't know he could-! Hey, I stopped him the first time!

Jaune: The first time?!

Cinder: ...Yes, when yo- Oh... Oh, shit, did I not-

Jaune: You KNEW someone was trying to kill me?

Cinder: ...I stopped him! And I didn't think you could actually get hurt!

Jaune: (Walks to the window, Leans on sill)

Cinder: You had aura! You have your semblance! If Mercury and I could kick his ass on our own, then you could definitely-

Jaune: Yeah, you're right! Because I'm the big huntsman hero and I shouldn't trust an evil person to stop an evil person, right?

Cinder: And there it is! About time!

Jaune: Oh, that's all you were really here for! (Pushes to face Cinder) Trying to play out this idea you have that I'm some beacon of light who's trying to force you to be a good guy, but I'm NOT! Why would I risk my career, my LIFE, to spend time with you, to help you?! You don't owe me those things, but you can't just ignore all of it!

Cinder: ...You know, Jaune, I spent the entire morning listening to love songs...

Jaune: (Cinder takes his hand)

Cinder: ...and that was still the SAPPIEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD!

Jaune: (Pulls hand away) ...Do you ever feel bad for the people you've hurt? Have you ever said sorry ONCE in your life?

Cinder: WHAT, YOU THINK I CAN'T FUCKING APOLOGIZE?! FOR WHAT?! YOU WANT ME TO SAY, "Oh, I'm sorry that I thought this whole time someone as wonderful as you could never love someone as awful as me and I allow my self-loathing to stop me from apologizing to anyone I've ever cared about!"

Jaune: ...Er- Yeah. That.

Cinder: ...

Jaune: ...

Cinder: ...WELL, FUCK YOU!

Jaune: (Leaves)

Cinder: I COULD SAY SORRY IF I WANTED TO! JUST YOU FUCKING WATCH! I SORRIED RUBY SO HARD, SHE CRIED! AND I CAN SORRY MORE PEOPLE EXCEPT YOU BECAUSE I DON'T OWE YOU DICK!

Cinder: (Huffs) Everyone... But you... (Leaves)

[drdemonprince]

It wasn't the main topic of your most recent post on substack, so I'm sending this here. In passing you talk about left-leaning neurodivergent people on social media, and the guilt and fatigue that comes from the constant avalanche of causes and events being shared.

One thing that stands out to me is how much of what I see is people borrowing grief from the future. This is probably partially due to people wanting to show that they care about it. However I feel it's more than that, because underneath that there's something else. It feels very similar to the catastrophizing autistic people in particular can be prone to. You know, where you get so lost obsessing over a hypothetical possible outcome that you complete lose sight of all the things that have to happen for it to come to pass. Things that are often unlikely to begin with on their own, but combined even more so. And then this gets shared and fractally further catastrophized upon. All pulling grief from the future for things that may not even happen.

Seeing all that is so exhausting, as there's often little to no distinction between what's actually urgent in the here and now, and what's an emotional resonance cascade about what *might* happen (and any actual information to be able to judge it has been lost due to the game of Internet telephone, or was never there (ie. a twitter screengrab.) Sometimes disentangling that mess is possible, but it takes a lot of stress and energy, on top of the stress and energy seeing people upset about it in the first place.

My question is two-fold:

How do you (gently) tell people that what they're doing is counterproductive when just sharing anything without checking whether it's actually urgent, not misleading, not just spreading panic and needlessly borrowing grief from the future? Because with the exception of people you know *well* and even then, that feels like a fool's errand, even if you can avoid the toxic positivity vibes that people might get from you if you try.

Decide if social media is at all worth it. I personally don't follow "big" accounts, but even outside that it's all just so... the enjoyable and interesting parts where people talk about their stuff or share what they do or made feel like they're being snowed over by all the rest. I could quit it all, but that doesn't feel right. It's a tricky question because I feel the specter of the toxic positivity crowd sweeping anything difficult under the rug or disengaging to ~protect their mental~ looming over me. (Not to mention that all the IRL social events around me go through a dizzying array of social media sites, so complete disengagement isn't possible anyway.)

(Yes, I appreciate the irony of asking this on social media.) I'd appreciate any thoughts you might have on this.

Thanks for this all-too-relatable question, Anon! My thoughts:

How do you (gently) tell people that what they're doing is counterproductive when just sharing anything without checking whether it's actually urgent, not misleading, not just spreading panic and needlessly borrowing grief from the future? Because with the exception of people you know *well* and even then, that feels like a fool's errand, even if you can avoid the toxic positivity vibes that people might get from you if you try.

My answer is that you really don't. You can't convince someone to see the world your way or alter their behavior with your words. What you can do is take care of yourself and set an example with your behavior. By spending less time online digesting this bullshit, not involving yourself in petty,dissolve-on-your-tongue internet fights, not reacting when people send some dumb fuckshit to you, and surrounding yourself with more enriching sources of information and ways to connect, other people's online bullshit will bother you less, you'll see it less, and by virtue of contributing to it all less, you may slowly serve as a model for others who are looking to detach from it, too.

You can tell your close friends that you are spending less time online and trying to avoid alarmist bullshit, but not much good usually comes from engaging about it with anyone else. In fact, even posting a bad infographic in order to argue with it/disprove it only gives it more exposure, and some research on attitude change and persuasion finds that setting out to disprove a myth only leads to more people believing in it anyway. I did some laboratory studies on that back in the day. So I'd say it's usually better to just ignore/block/not read the BS.

2. (How do you) Decide if social media is at all worth it. I personally don't follow "big" accounts, but even outside that it's all just so… the enjoyable and interesting parts where people talk about their stuff or share what they do or made feel like they're being snowed over by all the rest. I could quit it all, but that doesn't feel right. It's a tricky question because I feel the specter of the toxic positivity crowd sweeping anything difficult under the rug or disengaging to ~protect their mental~ looming over me. (Not to mention that all the IRL social events around me go through a dizzying array of social media sites, so complete disengagement isn't possible anyway.)

I think my previous answer kind of alludes to the answer to this one. I find that I use social media less and less these days, because it does not help me professionally, socially, or emotionally very much at all. On the professional level, more social media usage does not translate to more readers or more interesting creative/collaborative opportunities. What does seem to pay off is speaking from true sincerity and passion, however often I am so moved, and then not engaging with bullshit in the aftermath of sharing it. So I post and ghost whenever I feel that I have something to say, never checking notifications/reactions/comments/etc for the most part.

Socially, social media use lately has been dismal for me. Seeing everyone's hot takes, bids for attention, trauma spirals, and petty fights makes me actively like humanity far less. And that's something I have already struggled with generally. I do not need to absorb every random person I've ever met's every random fleeting thought. It makes me socially anxious, far too worried about how people perceive me, and viciously judgement and hopeless myself. What social media IS useful for, socially, is finding events, as you've alluded to. So I do hop onto Instagram to check out my favorite party organizers, drag performers, mutual aid groups, trans beach day organizers, bars, etc to see what is going on. I don't do much beyond that these days.

Emotionally/psychologically, social media is stressful, alarmist, distracting, and occasionally informative and fun for me. Again your mileage may vary. My way of coping right now is to spend as little time on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook etc as possible, because very little of intellectual consequence happens there, and to selectively visit the specific tumblrs who put out posts that I like. I don't even scroll the feed. I have also replaced scrolling social media with reading Substacks and Medium articles and that has helped me a TON. I still get exposure to a wide array of humanity, including a lot of takes that I disagree with or find silly, but everything's a bit more measured and intentional and there's less fighting.

I do not know what will work for you, Anon, and I think for many of us this is an ongoing negotiation between competing needs. I consider saying fuck it and deleting everything pretty often. well, everything other than tumblr. I'm here to stay.

[mopopshop]

Next Question (DT x OC)

based on this request <-

ty for being patient 🫡 hope you guys enjoy 🤞🏾🤞🏾

You adjust your notes, nervously shuffling through the questions you have prepared. It's not every day you get to interview a legend like Diana Taurasi. The excitement is palpable in the air as you wait in the lounge area of the practice facility.

The door opens, and in walks Diana, her stride confident and her smile warm. She extends a hand to you, and you quickly stand up to greet her.

"Hi, Diana. It's such an honor to meet you," you say, shaking her hand.

"The pleasure is all mine. It’s Alina, right?”

You nod, swallowing nervously. There's something about the way she says your name that sends a shiver down your spine. "Shall we get started?"

You both sit down, and you begin the interview, asking her about her recent games, her training routine, and her thoughts on the upcoming season.

"So, Diana," you say,  glancing down at your notes, "what's been the most challenging part of this season so far?"

She leans in a little closer, her knee brushing against yours. "Honestly, Alina, the toughest part is trying to stay focused when you’re surrounded by distractions" Her eyes twinkle as she speaks, and you feel a blush creeping up your cheeks.

"Distractions?" you ask, trying to maintain your professionalism despite the butterflies in your stomach.

"Yeah” she says, her voice dropping to a lower, more intimate tone. "Like right now, getting hard to concentrate when I’m a few feet away from a stunning reporter"

Your breath catches, and you fumble with your notes. "I—I'm sure you deal with distractions all the time," you manage to say, hoping your voice doesn't betray your flustered state.

Diana chuckles softly, her fingers brushing against your arm as she adjusts the microphone clipped to your shirt. "Something like that"

The room feels suddenly warmer, and you can barely focus on your next question. You clear your throat, trying to regain your composure. "Um, could you tell me about your pre-game ritual? How do you prepare mentally and physically for a big game?"

Diana's hand lingers on your arm for a moment longer before she pulls away, her touch leaving a tingling sensation on your skin. She leans back in her chair, her eyes never leaving yours. "Well, I have a few routines, but I mostly just like to prioritize getting into the right mindset. And sometimes, it helps to have someone special to talk to beforehand"

You nod, trying to focus on her words, but her intense gaze makes it difficult. "That sounds really important. Do you have anyone in particular you talk to before games?"

Diana's smile widens, and she leans forward again, her face inches from yours. "Maybe I do. Wanna volunteer as my good luck charm?"

"I... uh," you stammer, struggling to find the right words amidst the electrifying tension between you. "I'm flattered, Diana, but I'm here to learn about your career and achievements."

Diana leans back, her laughter filling the room. "Alright, alright, I see you're trying to keep it strictly professional. Respect." She winks mischievously, and you feel a mix of relief and lingering excitement.

As the interview wraps up, Diana stands, offering you her hand once more. "Thank you for the interview. I really enjoyed it”

You shake her hand, her grip firm and reassuring. "No, no, thank you, seriously"

She doesn't let go immediately, her thumb brushing gently over the back of your hand. "Of course, maybe we can do this again sometime. Off the record."

You nod, your mind racing with possibilities. "I'd like that."

“Give me your number real quick and I’ll hit you up about that off the record thing, kay?”

You nod sheepishly taking her phone from her hand and typing in your number. 

Diana smiles one last time, her eyes lingering on yours before she turns to leave. 

———

[toriluvsnickwayne]

Worth it

Hook x (Shibata’s sister) Reader

Y/N's POV

I was beyond excited to be attending my first AEW show. As a huge wrestling fan, I had always dreamed of seeing my favorite wrestlers in action live. And now, thanks to my brother Katsuyori Shibata, I had the opportunity to experience it all backstage.

As I explored the area, I stumbled upon a familiar face - Hook. He was preparing for his match, his intense focus evident on his face. I watched him for a moment, admiring his dedication to his craft. Then, he looked up and caught my eye. I felt a flush rise to my cheeks as he smiled and approached me.

"Hey, you must be new around here," he said, his charming smile putting me at ease. "I'm Hook."

"I'm Y/N," I replied, trying to sound calm. "Nice to meet you, Hook. I'm a huge fan of your work."

We struck up a conversation, bonding over our shared passion for wrestling. As we chatted, I found myself drawn to Hook's charming personality and sense of humor. We exchanged phone numbers, and our conversation continued via text as we went about our evening.

I couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to him. We discussed everything from our favorite wrestlers to our favorite TV shows. I felt like I'd known him for years. He even said I could call him Tyler.

Hook's POV

I was getting ready for my match when I met Y/N backstage. She was smart, funny, and had a passion for wrestling that rivaled mine. We hit it off immediately.

As we texted each other throughout the night, I found myself grinning like a fool. I couldn't wait to see her again.

But then, Shibata approached me with a knowing glint in his eye. "Who's got you so distracted, Hook?" he asked.

I replied, "Just a new friend I met, Y/N."

Shibata's expression turned serious. "Y/N, you say? That's my little sister!"

My eyes widened in surprise. "I had no idea! I swear!"

Shibata chuckled. "Well, Hook, if you want to take my sister out on a date, you'll have to prove yourself worthy."

I nodded, ready to accept whatever challenge came my way.

"Alright, Hook," Shibata said with a smirk. "I dare you to sing 'I Will Survive' in front of the entire locker room... in a tutu. Matter of fact make it a pink one.”

My face turned bright red. "Deal."

With that I took a deep breath, I donned a bright pink tutu and belted out the disco classic. The locker room erupted in cheers and laughter, and Shibata grinned in approval.

“I can’t believe you just did that.” I heard Orange say.

"You've passed the test, Hook. Take my sister out on a date, and make it a night to remember! Just remember, if you hurt her I’ll come find you……have fun!”

Time skip

Hook's POV

"Hey, Y/N?" I said, turning to her with a grin. "I have to tell you something."

"What is it?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"Your brother made me do a dare to prove myself worthy of taking you out on a date," I admitted.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "What did he make you do?"

I took a deep breath and confessed, "He made me sing 'I Will Survive' in a tutu in front of the entire locker room."

Y/N burst out laughing, her eyes shining with mirth. "Oh my god, that's amazing!"

I chuckled, feeling a bit more at ease. "Yeah, it was pretty ridiculous. But it was worth it, just to see you smile like that."

Y/N's expression turned thoughtful, and she asked, "Was it really worth it, though? The embarrassment and all?"

I looked into her eyes, my heart beating faster. "It was worth every second of embarrassment, because I got to spend time with you. And that, Y/N, is truly worth it."

Y/N's face lit up with a radiant smile, and she leaned in close. "I think it's worth it too, Tyler."

@moniquelovesaewhook requested this and I hope filled ur request. I rlly enjoyed writing this story and I knew I had to put a funny bit in there. I do think I’m going to start writing for other people perhaps prlly start out with Nick Wayne(🤭) and I’ve got a whole list of people who I write for (it’s on my main Masterlist) if u have and request just send them my way- lots of love Tori🤍

[shakingparadigm]

I'm glad we have someone like you in the fandom and that you started a youtube channel too. It feels less lonely I guess! Everything you post (theories,art,informations,jokes) is in my opinion so interesting,creative and detailed. I don't really send asks but I really had to tell you that I appreciate all of this,not what you simply post,but create too! I believe after Alien Stage will end,I will miss your posts about it but I'll have a good time remembering the days before a round was dropped,where we all assembled there to scream in fear (AVENGERS... ASSEMBLE LOL) and I'm sure I'll continue visit even if you'll talk about something else,with Vivinos content here and there if qmeng and the team will post about it etc!

One thing that makes me more conscious about ''IvanTill tragedy'' is that... Ivan loved the idea,the meaning,he had of Till,because he never got to be seen by him,got to express himself and be something for Till,which means getting to really enter Till's world. So I think at some point he asked himself ''What do I love'',which led him to the circle of reasons we deduced from their backstories,reason of the words chosen in the official art,where he says ''shallow feelings''... but they weren't shallow at all... And I think this is so sad,that he could not feel the depth in it,or understand his emotions... It's so sad we don't have a glimpse of Till's pov... Thank you for reading this until the end,I'll silently return in my den :)

Sorry this turned into such a long and awkwardly sentimental post,,,, ;;

Thank you....!!!

I'm really happy that you think of me so nicely, even if my posts and speculations are off the mark... or if the things I make are truthfully not very good. Even if they're mediocre at best, I still put a lot of my heart into them. I've always had a lot of things to say, but I never really opened myself to speaking about them until earlier this year. It feels really nice and comforting to share everything and be responded to with the same level of enthusiasm. I keep repeating myself when giving my thanks, but it's just because I will always be grateful to everyone I've talked to so far. That will never change. Thank you for taking the time to send me an ask! It really means everything to me. Let's focus on enjoying ourselves and anticipating what's to come! Even though Alien Stage is bound to end, we're still only halfway there!

I genuinely would like to thank you for your support. I wouldn't hold it against you if eventually you lost interest in my blog later down the line, but the fact that you'd still want to visit even if I end up switching to other things is so kind. I can't put down everything I'd like to say in a way that sounds coherent, and I undoubtedly am making this a bigger deal than it has to be, but from the bottom of my heart I'd like to thank you and everyone who has been so so kind to me. Truthfully I'm still unsure about whether or not I even deserve it, but I want you to know that I appreciate everything. I remember everything, too. Right down to the first few people who shared their thoughts to me back when I first started this blog!

I'm sorry if I seem like a bit of a downer, or if I seem less active lately? Less present or something like that. There's a lot that I've been going through lately (to add on to that my damn house flooded. yikes. currently staying at a friend's right now), and it honestly worries me to think about a lot of things, not to mention all the asks that I haven't been able to answer yet... I'm so sorry. I'll get to them eventually, I promise! They mean a lot to me and I want to do them justice with an answer, but some days I just can't find it in me to put thoughts into words.... once again, I'm so sorry. I don't want to make it seem as though they're a burden or anything, though! It's genuinely the highlight of my day to receive one.

Your perspective on Ivan and Till is worded so wonderfully. It truly is tragic that Ivan views his feelings as shallow, especially when in reality they're so complex and all-encompassing. Someone who loves so fervently and desperately (obssessively) actively denies themselves something as simple as the validation of their own feelings. Ivan viewed so lowly of himself until the very end, believing that he was never able to mean anything to Till (You don't care about me is such a devastating line). Ivan's emotions are complicated on purpose, his character was designed with the intention to confuse. It's stated that only Ivan himself can truly know what he's feeling, but even then he is an unreliable narrator and is too deep in the throes of self-loathing to allow himself any mercy. Constantly at war with himself, even just moments before his demise.

Ivan is described to have the most flawed personality out of his peers ("twisted"). The fact that he hones in on this aspect of himself to the point where he cannot see himself as anything of worth to the people he cares about is so profoundly sad. A flaw within itself, the perfect recipe for self-sabotage.

Till's perspective on Ivan is desperately needed, even if it wouldn't make a difference to the present circumstances. When speaking of Ivan's feelings for Till, VIVINOS mentions that one cannot simply move on from such deep-seated and long lasting emotions in just a short time. Surely Till would share this sentiment, right? Constantly overwhelmed by his own heart, wouldn't Till mull over the feelings that drove Ivan to sacrifice? Wouldn't he dwell on the impact that Ivan has made on his person? What form does Ivan take in Till's memory? One cannot move on from feelings like this so easily, and although Till didn't feel for Ivan in the same way, it's undeniable that he at least felt something.

So far (iirc), the only official statement of Till's feelings towards Ivan is that Till found him strange (and vice-versa, but Ivan was fascinated and attracted to Till's "strangeness" while it seems that Till was... less so...). Although it makes sense that Till is so protective of his true feelings, it would be nice for his thoughts on Ivan to be expanded upon, just for some semblance of closure.

(Sorry if this went off-topic.... or if my answer ended up being off again haha but thank you genuinely for the ask. I appreciate it more than you could ever know).

[30somethingautisticteacher]

Bucktommy prompt: Buck finds out Tommy D&D (and is a pretty big nerd overall)

Hope you like it!

"Hey Ev, I know we were planning on date night on Friday, but is there any way we can raincheck it?" Tommy asked.

Buck was a little surprised. "Of course. Is everything okay? I checked our calendars and Friday was open for both of us. Did you pick up a shift or something?"

"No, nothing like that," Tommy replied. "There's this monthly first responder thing that I try to go to, and I've missed the past few months."

"Oh yeah? What kind of first responder thing? Another sport? Poker?" Buck asked, curious.

"Uh, not quite," Tommy said, blushing slightly. He mumbled, "It's Dungeons and Dragons."

"Wait? You play Dungeons and Dragons?" Buck said grinning at Tommy like he was the cutest thing in the world.

"Uh, yeah," Tommy replied, looking a bit sheepish. "It was sort of my escape as a kid. I would come up with these elaborate quests, and it was just so much better than being the awkward closeted gay kid. That and comic books were kind of all I had," Tommy admitted, his voice softening as he shared this piece of his past.

Buck's expression shifted from amusement to understanding, his eyes filled with warmth. "Tommy, that's... that's really cool. I had no idea you were into that stuff."

Tommy shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, well, it's not exactly something I advertise. But it's still a big part of who I am, you know?"

"I get it," Buck said, reaching out to squeeze Tommy's hand. "Thanks for sharing that with me. So, tell me more about this first responder D&D group. How did that even start?"

Tommy chuckled, seeming more at ease now. "Well, I've only been a part of it since I started at Harbor. I guess when I started there, I came out not only as gay but also as a giant nerd," he laughed.

Buck joined in the laughter, his eyes twinkling with affection. "I love that. It's like you got to be your whole self all at once."

"Yeah, it felt pretty good," Tommy admitted. "The guys at Harbor were surprisingly cool about both things. Turns out, there were a few other closet D&D fans at the station."

Tommy's expression grew more serious for a moment. "It's definitely not something I would've admitted at the 118 with Captain Gerrard in charge. And after my dad's reaction when he found out... well, let's just say it wasn't great, to say the least. I learned pretty quickly to keep that part of myself hidden too."

Buck's face softened with understanding. "I'm sorry you had to hide that part of yourself for so long. But I'm glad you found a place where you can be open about it now."

Tommy nodded, a small smile returning to his face. "Me too. It's nice to finally feel like I can be my whole self, you know?"

"I do know," Buck said, squeezing Tommy's hand. "And for what it's worth, I think your nerdy side is pretty cute."

Tommy's face lit up at Buck's words. "Thanks, baby," he said, a warm smile spreading across his face. "And maybe someday I can help you learn about it. Maybe even help you create a character," he added, his eyes twinkling with excitement at the prospect.

Buck grinned, clearly charmed by Tommy's enthusiasm. "You know what? I'd like that. And you've already met my inner nerd – the one who loves to watch documentaries and info dump about random facts."

Tommy chuckled, nodding in agreement. "That's true. And I love you for it, by the way. Your excitement when you're sharing some obscure fact is one of my favorite things about you."

Buck's cheeks flushed slightly at the compliment. "Well, then maybe it's time I embraced my nerdiness fully. Who knows? Maybe I'll discover a hidden talent for D&D."

"Oh, I have no doubt," Tommy said, pulling Buck into a hug. "With your imagination and your love for details, you'll probably end up being the dungeon master before you know it."

Buck smiled brightly and somehow found himself falling even more in love with this man who could be both a brave firefighter pilot and an enthusiastic D&D player. It was just another reminder of the many layers that made up Tommy Kinard, and Buck was grateful for the chance to discover each and every one of them.