#if u ask me... it ties up the ending way better than the film did

[lumiereandcogsworth]

i never thought to do this before but hey, if anyone saw the Netflix movie Juanita (2019), i wrote a lil epilogue fic for it, here!

[eyrieofsynapses]

Redemption Panel Highlights and Reactions

GATORS

i.e., Beth Riesgraf and Christian Kane (mostly Beth) talking about filming the scenes in (what I presume is) The Rollin’ on the River Job, where they’re pulling some stuff out of the water, and finding out the next day that there was an absolutely massive alligator pulled out of the same place just a little while after they filmed it

Beth’s impression of the wildlife folks warning them about the alligators

Beth scaring the hell out of Noah Wyle by yelling “GATOR” at him just after he finished his scene

seriously that was an absolutely WILD part of the panel

Everyone showering Aleyse Shannon with literally all the love!

Aldis Hodge in particular big-brothering her, and also the older actors calling her out for not giving herself enough credit, and Dean Devlin talking about how she blew him away at the auditions with her ability to turn on a dime

Seeing Kane with his glasses off wiping at his eyes, momentarily thinking “you okay dude?” and then realizing that he was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes

(same)

The The Bucket Job clip! I’ve been a bit meh on a lot of Redemption, just in how it didn’t feel quite right, but that is possibly the absolute closest I’ve seen it get to the original in the best way. Brilliant

Which comes as no surprise since BETH RIESGRAF directed the episode!!! And apparently put an insane amount of effort in!

Beth’s utter delight and joy at both directing the episode and having the crew behind her

THE CHAIR

So apparently she and Christian went to town on the fight scene and he winds up tied up in a chair somewhere along the line and there’s a whole wild scene, which I am really looking forward to

Beth knowing how insanely particular he’d be about things like zip ties vs rope and what kind of rope e.t.c. e.t.c.

Apparently this is also tied into a VERY DEEP scene with Eliot? It sounds like they’re going to go super hard on his backstory, which is terrifyingly exciting

Just. Beth and Christian going very hard on that episode together

Speaking of: the panel’s going amazingly, I’m laughing so hard my stomach hurts, things are relatively light, and then, of fucking course—

Kane hitting us over the head about Eliot being a mass murderer who can’t be redeemed, is trying to stay static so that he can maintain the place he’s in, and is thus LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH HARRY

What the FUCK. This is of course incredibly insightful and perfectly on point (because it’s Kane) but also, EXCUSE ME, OUCH, why would you DO THAT to us?

Everyone talking about having their families on set and their kids!

Beth’s son growing up on the original Leverage set and now going into being a director himself!

Gina’s daughter also growing up on set!

Noah Wyle’s daughter is playing Harry’s daughter I REPEAT NOAH WYLE’S ACTUAL DAUGHTER IS PLAYING AS HARRY’S DAUGHTER

Gina Bellman remaining relatively stoic throughout much of the panel (seriously, this woman, how the heck does she do it) and then losing it when they’re asked about running/inside jokes

A lot of them are, of course, apparently not appropriate to be spoken on-panel

(A lot of the others are the little inside ones that are special enough not to be ones they want to share, which is sweet!)

Everyone collectively losing it over having LeVar Burton on for The Bucket Job

Devlin and everyone laughing about collecting the various Star Trek people on Leverage

Beth talking about Burton coming over while she’s getting ready and asking her if she’s living on coffee and water, her laughing because he was absolutely right, and then him gently reminding her to remember to eat, which is the sweetest thing in the world oh my gods

Kane apparently choreographing an intense scene with Burton and being scared out of his mind, because Burton really wanted to go for it, but to Kane it was like he’s a figurine that’s not to be messed with because he was so worried about hurting him

Kane choreographing a massive amount of the show, which I knew already, but seriously, this guy blows me away

Gina and the crew talking about how he’d be away for a day of shooting a fight and all of them would be missing him and thinking about him

Family Vibes

Everyone talking about how they’re very noisy and loud together on set and it’s a bit like walking into a group of people having Christmas dinner (or something to that effect) because they’re just Like That together

Aleyse being the most surprised by Beth when she met her because she was like a little angel of light during the auditions but turned out to be an absolute ball of wild energy on set

Gina going “wait you were a MODEL” at Beth

Aldis talking about how much he loved how Parker and Hardison’s relationship had developed and grown!

Also, Aldis apologizing when the New York (iirc) background noise got loud and everyone going “no no we get you”

His outfit is ON POINT today

Gina saying that Christian is the goofiest and wildest out of them in terms of humor

(she goes “some of you may not know this,” which, fair, but also, if you’ve seen more than ten minutes of this guy outside of character you know he’s an absolute ball of sunshine)

Gina, Beth, and Christian talking about how they’d challenge each other to stay off sweets back on the original set, because they knew they needed to stay in shape and also just because they’re competitive (apparently all of them are major sweet tooths) and hide brownies and things from each other, while Aldis is just. doing pushups. eating all the healthy stuff. and then wanders into the room with a literal cupful of chocolates

(and Aldis going “well yeah I have to work off the sweets SOMEHOW”)

Beth explaining that sometimes they’d order a “Kane burrito” from Christian and he’d alter it slightly

Like, you know, chopping up hot jalapenos super fine and mixing them in, and Beth practically not being able to talk after the first bite

Apparently Aldis still went back a lot even after that

(Christian just seems very pleased with himself over it)

(THESE PEOPLE)

Gina goes “hey we should have an episode where we all swap roles,” Devlin going “WAIT FOR SEASON ONE TO BE DONE,” and then somebody (maybe the moderator?? I don’t remember exactly) going “uh actually. We did that”

Cue immediate scramble of “WAIT WHICH JOB WAS THAT”

(paraphrasing) “Yeah you remember the bit where you put on Parker’s harness and went off a building?”

Turns out half the cast had actually forgotten that that existed and only remember when reminded

The original cast all think of the episodes as “jobs”!!!!

Everyone talking over each other, Devlin going “it was with Sterling when we blew up the offices,” deciding that it was the season one finale, and then trying to figure out what episode title it was (eventually they figure out it’s the David jobs)

Moderator and Devlin accurately commenting that the fans know the show much better than they do

Noah Wyle very correctly explaining how Electric Entertainment is like a family and Devlin just. Keeps people

Aleyse and Aldis talking about typing when they’re hacking and going “WHAT THE HECK DO WE TYPE”

Aldis goes “yeah I just type all the bad words that we’re not allowed to say”

Aleyse saying that she’s always a little worried they’re hiding a Word document behind the blue screen and they’re going to pull up what she’s typing at the end of the day and print it out and put it in her trailer going “what the HECK is this”

Noah talking about filming The Golf Job and just getting to direct Jason Marsters and Christian together

Apparently their dynamic in that episode accurately mirrors the one with their characters in Angel!

Which promptly goes straight to the comment that it was very hard to make Marsters look like a golfer (pfft)

(Also apparently Christian plays golf for fun with his friends? Not necessarily something I would’ve thought of!)

Aleyse happily talking about how she loved the dynamic on set and it was very different from what she was used to

Also Aleyse talking about doing stunts and everyone else praising her for going whole hog

Beth especially praising her for the bit where she’s hit with the paralysis injection (I don’t remember which ep it’s from) and her acting for it, because it was incredibly hard to drop off screen in the particular way she did

Aleyse promptly answers that she was terrified with some of those, especially one where she had to keep a clock from falling and breaking

Everyone discussing how they see a new aspect of Breanna’s character in The Train Job

Also, to get serious for a moment, Kate Rorick in particular talks about how Breanna’s part of Gen Z and how we didn’t get the “days of yore” where everything was chill. We’ve basically been living in a world of hostility the whole time. It’s something I deeply appreciate, as someone who’s part of that group, and I love how they emphasize that for us.

This panel was pure chaos and I loved every moment of it! My stomach was actually hurting from laughing so hard, I swear. They had me cackling well over half the time. I would happily take panels double or triple the length of this, this was amazing. I also adore how the second you drop these six people in a room together, they immediately take off and literally just run and give you everything you wanted and more. (It is also evidently very hard to get them to STOP talking.)

I’m also just going to stop and take a second to fawn over the effects for the 3D room. It’s gorgeous—I love how they replicated the headquarters, especially with the stained glass ceilings! Super impressive, especially with all the photos, and I just love the whole thing. Kudos to whoever put that together.

Anyway, I’m definitely missing some stuff too; seriously, there wasn’t a second wasted in this thing, they were cracking some kind of joke or dropping some really interesting piece of information practically every thirty seconds. (And I haven’t even gotten into the clips OR the bloopers. I miiiight do a separate reaction purely for those.) It’s still up right now if you missed it and you want to watch it! I’ll probably watch it again, honestly.

[1kook]

commercial break; SEVEN

this is part of my netflix & chill series ! happens a few months before part 7 

summary; And lastly, Jungkook will bring it full circle by indulging you two in some good old fashion spooky sex where he nuts inside you because the only thing scarier than a scary movie is a pregnancy scare. It’s a perfect plan.  warnings; horny jk, jk wants to roleplay... everyone point n laugh, mentions of his impreg kink lol, making out, tits, honestly jk is just very horny n in love lol, jk in a vampire costume w fangs O_o rating; mature (18+) wc; 2k

notes; if u don’t know who lindsay is first of all ur sick, second of all here’s my queen’s top moments. also i just gotta say, this was originally gonna be a larger fic (a halloween special) for my ncouple, but i got a lil busy with school n ultimately didn't have time to invest in this as a whole installment so..... enjoy this commercial break instead!!

Jungkook loves Halloween.

He loves the pumpkin carving and the decorating. Loves the spooky music and the abundance of candy. He loves it, absolutely adores it, and for the second year in a row, he gets to spend it with you! Yet another person he loves very much.

He doesn’t remember ever being this excited for Halloween. Last year, you had roped him into going to some frat party with him, had egged him on, begged so cutely that it was your last year in college, baby until he caved. The two of you had spent the night drinking until you blacked out, Ubering home with your costumes half on, and then unceremoniously fucking in his living room with the blinds wide open.

(The next neighborhood meeting had been very awkward for Jungkook.)

It was his first time ever drinking with you like that, and he vaguely remembers, through his own drunken gaze, how cool you had been. Had absolutely owned a bunch of greasy football players at beer pong in your little sexy nurse costume. And when the crowd cheered your name, shrieked in awe, it had been him that you turned to for praise. “Did you see me, baby,” you had giggled, crowded him against the wall of this random house until Jungkook was sweating profusely. In lieu of a costume, he had worn a silly jogger set with a skeleton design that was supposed to glow in the dark, according to Amazon. You had told him he looked adorable, had kissed and squeezed his cheeks until Jungkook was a flustered mess.

It was still early into your relationship— if Jungkook did the math, you were only about five months in at that point —so he didn’t know how else to cope with the rapid thundering of his heart, the confession sitting on his tongue, the then scary L-word begging to be heard. So, he took you home and fucked you until your little nurse cap slid off your head and you were begging for him to let you cum, thus earning him his first ever offense for violating the neighborhood rules (i.e., traumatizing a group of middle schoolers by fucking in plain sight).

Long story short, Jungkook loves Halloween, and he loves it even more when he gets to spend it with you.

(He’ll never admit it, but he’s a hard romantic. He wants to do cheesy things with you, like cuddle you into his arms when you get scared, pat your head until you can look at whatever is happening on screen again. He wants you to feel safe in his arms, wants to be your refuge when things become too much. He likes to think he’s done a pretty good job so far.)

Jungkook’s plan goes like this:

First, welcome you with that Halloween basket you’ve been sending him tweet links about all month. The cute little Jack-O-lantern candy bucket stuffed with candy and hair ties and a soft Halloween themed blanket. It’s so cheesy, makes him blush when he catches sight of it in his closet, but Jungkook will do anything to please you.

Next, after presenting you with your Halloween gift and having you coo and tell him he’s a good boy, he’ll invite you to break your new soft blanket in. The living room will be prepared with an assortment of your favorite foods, the flat screen ready to play whatever horror movie the two of you settle on.

And lastly, Jungkook will bring it full circle by indulging you two in some good old fashion spooky sex where he nuts inside you because the only thing scarier than a scary movie is a pregnancy scare.

It’s a perfect plan.

It’s the best way to spend his favorite holiday, with his favorite girl by his side and some of his favorite horror films on the big screen. Jungkook spends all of October geeked up for it, even considers hanging up lights around the living room to really set the mood. He’s so excited, can’t wait to spend another wonderful holiday at home with you, that he doesn’t fully realize why you haven’t brought up the long awaited topic of costumes.

“You like?” you ask, standing at the door of his bathroom with a sultry look in your eye, tits practically pouring out of the tight top you’ve wiggled into, skin oiled up scandalously. He fumbles with the fake vampire fang prosthetics he’d been trying to glue in for the better half of an hour.

He had heard the door open downstairs when you got here, had called out his mandatory greeting as he heard you come up the stairs. But none of that had prepared him for the sight of you in… whatever this was.

Jungkook doesn’t really understand exactly what you’re supposed to be dressed up as until the two of you are back downstairs—blinds drawn, full moon slipping in through the cracks—with some random horror movie pulled up on the TV. “I’m Lindsey,” you whine, brand new fluffy blanket wrapped around your shoulders. It shields your boobs from view, but he’s not sure if that’s a win or a loss. “From Total Drama Island!”

He settles in beside you, doesn’t get too comfortable because it’s nearing sundown now and he knows the herds of children are bound to start flowing in. “Uh huh,” he says mindlessly. His collar feels itchy, the overly-detailed vampire costume he meticulously scoured the internet for being one size too small. You snuggle into his side anyway.

“You don’t know anything about cinematic masterpieces,” you frown, avidly tuned into The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, because apparently you love horror movies all of a sudden, a fact that genuinely throws Jungkook off. He’s not sure what it is about you that had deluded him into thinking you would be a scaredy cat, but he doesn’t take the new bit of information too hard.

The doorbell rings right as the first gorey scene ends and you make a big show of huffing and whining as he rushes to answer it. But it’s only the beginning of the long night that awaits, and, as Jungkook comes to find, running back and forth from the door to the couch is harder than it seems.

Anyway, Jungkook’s neighborhood is a little posh, or ‘bougie’ as you like to claim, and trick-or-treating hours end a little before eleven pm. By then he’s tired, having refused your offer to switch places in fear that your boob might fall out of that scrap of fabric you call a top and earn him his second neighborly offense.

However, that doesn’t mean he’s opposed to your boobs falling out in private.

“Stupid,” you giggle when he gets caught in his long cape, the sound slowly melting into a whimper as he slips his hands beneath your top, fighting with the ridiculous push-up bra you’ve donned tonight. Hands tangle in his hair, mess up the careful side part he’d styled up for tonight, and legs lock around his waist. “Your curtains closed?” you tease.

He huffs, catches your chatty lips with his roughly, presses and presses until your mouth must bruise. He belatedly remembers about those sharp fangs he’d glued on—hey, if he was going to dress up as some gaudy monster it might as well be realistic—and doesn’t realize until he tries to bite your neck and you let out a little yelp. Truthfully, he feels bad right away, but then you’re practically dissolving in his arms so he plays along. “Shh,” he hisses.

The roar of a chainsaw and terrified screams fill the living room, almost drowning out the soft sounds you release by his ear. “O- Or what?” you pant, flinch when he pushes your sad excuse of a skirt up over your waist. “Gonna b- bite me?”

And so Jungkook does.

You shriek. “That hurts, you idiot!” you scold with a tiny whine in your voice, but Jungkook’s cock is so hard. Your tiny, tight outfit does you no favors. Tits in his face, tiny thong against his bulge. He wants to make you sob, litter bites and marks all over your skin until his love makes you ache. You must see the crazed look in his eyes, because you drop the scowl. “Hey,” you say slowly, hand on his chest. “You look like you’re gonna eat me.”

He lets go of a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. He wonders if you can feel his thundering heart beneath your palm. “Fuck,” he sighs, leaning away to regain his senses. Was it something in the air? Was it the fatigue? The full moon? Why did he want to fold you in half and fuck his cock into you until you were a crying, shivering mess? Something about you tonight, laid out for him to take, makes him feel absolutely insane. Starved and psycho; he just wants to take and take until you don’t have anything more to give. He purses his lips, tries to ignore the hot feeling in his lower abdomen when your hardened nipples register to his eyes. “I think I’m becoming evil.”

Of all the idiotic things his brain can come up with, this one is definitely top five. His cheeks flush right after, fueled by the boisterous laughter that escapes your lips at his statement. “Oh my god,” you gasp in glee, hands falling down beside your head. “You’re becoming evil?’

Jungkook frowns, flopping down on top of you to hide the embarrassment that paints his face. “Shut up,” he mumbles against your neck, warm and safe.

A hand cards through the back of his hair, nails dig lightly into his scalp. “Aren’t you the cutest little vampire,” you coo, seemingly ignoring the rock hard cock Jungkook presses against your thigh. He’s still so horny, has this sick thought that he could just pin you down right here, tear that silly costume to shreds and swallow you up in his lust. But your voice is so sweet, has his eyes fluttering shut as you gather him in his arms. “Silly vampire,” you hum, one leg thrown around his hip, a subtle roll of you hips up into him.

Jungkook huffs, licks a flat strip along the base of your neck. It draws a shaky exhale from you, has your hands digging into his back when he begins to slowly lap against the skin, nibble and tug until your back is deliciously arching up into him. “Wanna push you down,” he confesses quietly, hands securing themselves against your hips as he leans back. You're all dazed, eyes trained on his fanged mouth when he hesitantly adds, “l- little human.”

You could laugh, tease him for his sudden weird need to role play with you, but you don’t. A look of understanding crosses your face, sly smirk slowly following. “Oh?” you grin, hand coming around to cup his cheek. “The little vampire wants to use my body?” Jungkook tightens his jaw at your jab, but nods nonetheless.

You’re a feast before his eyes. Boobs in his face, pussy begging to be filled. You’re his, just like Jungkook is yours. And when you indulge him and his stupid whims—kinks, he should say, occasional interests that sometimes make him question himself—his heart feels warm and full. Proud and unashamed, like the truest version of himself when you look at him with those eyes. And your words only confirm it.

Your hands reach down for your top, pull the flimsy material over your head in one swoop that has your bra coming off with it. It drops to the floor. If it makes a sound, Jungkook doesn’t hear it over the shrieks of terror on screen. the blood deaths, the suspenseful music. All he hears is he hammering of his heart. 

It’s two of your sneaky fingers that come up to play, pinch one nipple tenderly as you meet his eyes. “It’s all yours,” you purr. “I’m all yours.”

And the thirst he feels, well. It’s a little vampiric, to say the least. 

—

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[wizkiddx]

unusable faces

i have exams hence why i needed to write something exceptionally cringe :)

PSA: this is completely inspired from one of my fave writers own blurb @blissfulparker​ --> completely recommend u go read hers its much better than anything i could ever write!!!! (and just her whole account) = link

Summary: pure exhaustion and mutual pining, Tom Holland x actress!reader

^(just thought this was cute, doesn't really fit aha but full credit to op!!)

A scheduling nightmare would be putting it lightly. Perhaps almost unavoidable but that didn’t make it any less of a hellish form a torture. Harry had very helpfully said it actually was a form of torture, that is sleep deprivation. Y/n loved her job - it was all she’d ever really wanted - yet that thought was quickly becoming not enough to get her through the day. Not when it felt like an interrogation tactic used by the CIA. 

To give a quick timeline of the past few days may give a little context:

Thursday - filming the fight scene all day plus an evening-turned-half-the-night-shoot due to some technically difficulties delaying the process.

Friday - flying to New York while doing read throughs of scenes for the next few days; followed immediately by getting glammed and filming the tonight show with Fallon; then a dash across town to the late late show with James Corden; then straight back on a flight to Atlanta that landed at stupid o’clock in the morning

Saturday - a full day of shooting in a mock grand central station set

The press trip to NY had been unplanned… to say the least. But the star of their studios other new release had taken ill - meaning they had slots booked on some of the biggest talk shows in America that would just be abandoned (angering the shows bookers too). It was a waste of perfectly good promo time and since the studio had their two other stars together doing a block of reshoots - it wasn’t a conversation. Much more a call demanding the two of them to be on the plane.

Normally this wouldn’t be such an unmanageable ask either, except the reshoot block was really rather time pressured. You see, the promo tour wasn’t far from beginning meaning they really needed the final film in the can. So really it was a bit of a mess. Just to free up that single day the two were in New York the whole schedule had had to be rejigged - in doing so they’d lost a rare day off too. It was just typical.  

The joys of success hey?

Well, that’s at least what Y/n was making herself think whilst her incredibly talented SFX artist was in the process of crafting a deep wound onto her upper arm. The reason why she would be ‘dripping with blood’ whilst at a train station was beyond Y/n to be honest - she hadn’t been allowed to read a lot of the script so even now as filming was drawing to a close, the story arc of the movie she was headlining was still a little ‘fuzzy’.

“So I watched your ‘spill your guts’ thing on YouTube” Ellie giggled whilst reaching over for more prosthetic putty- a technical term apparently

“I’m glad one of us enjoyed the experience” Y/n replied with a sigh, rolling her eyes at the mischievous smirk on her face - no doubt Ellie took great joy out of seeing her suffer through eating a thousand year old egg. Which Y/n swore the taste of was still in her mouth… and it seemed as though it’d never leave. 

“Oh don’t worry darling I did too” Nelli called over from the next chair along, where she was doing Tom’s makeup for the day of shoots. “Between that and the animals on Fallon, you made a hell of a lot of people laugh last night” Tom’s artist was referencing the fact one of Jimmys other guests was a zookeeper, so at the end of the interview he had you and Tom join in trying not to scream at the snakes and spiders.

“You mean laugh at us?” 

“Well of course darling!” Nelli exclaimed back in an overdramatic bronx accent making all three of the women burst out laughing, Ellie’s unceremonious snorts echoing through the trailer only egged them all on more.

Tom in response, who had otherwise been absent from conversation for the majority of the morning, exclaimed a curse and jumped up in his chair. While you and Ellie collected yourself, Nelli apologised to him.

“Oh sorry love, I’m interrupting your snooze with my uncontrollable comedic gift” She spoke sweetly, even if still taking the moment to flaunt to the other women, as she squeezed his shoulder compassionately.

“No no” Tom waved off her apology, attempting to rub his eye before Nelli swatted his arm away - a stern look for the risk of ruining all her hard work she’d put into making his face look half presentable. 

“I’m impressed you can sleep while they poke you with all these er instruments” Y/n added in, having only just realised Tom had been in a light sleep for god knows how long they’d been in that chair. It did seem a bit unlikely, being able to fall asleep as you were dabbed, prodded and brushed. 

“Maybe you should try though Y/n… your purple eye bags are proving a struggle even for me” Ellie quipped back, now it was Y/n’s turn to give the stern look. Tom took the explain though, shutting her off from whatever kindly meant insult she was about to throw back at her friend. 

“No normally never, I just….” He was cut off by an ear splitting yawn, appearing almost powerful enough to crack his jaw - which would be a disaster, for no one should ruin such a beautiful and sharp jaw line. “…uh-sorry. I just think I ended up taking my NyQuil and DayQuil the wrong way round in the madness of yesterday.” Only Tom, the poor kid often seemed to lacking in any form of common sense - even if those closest to him knew just how intellectual and passionate he could be about the right topic. Affectionately, Nelli scalded his idiocy by jokingly swatting his head with a little tut.

“I can’t believe your still standing then! I’m barely alive and I don’t have any sedatives in my system.” It was true, Y/n was at that stage where every part of her body felt ridiculously heavy… eyes included … eyes especially. 

“But I did sleep on the jet back while your stupid self was studying the script!” Tom replied with a pretty inarguable point - at the time he knew her actions were stupid;  when their flight took off at 11 PM he was certain that the most valuable asset to his ability to act in the reshoots today would be sleep - rather than character development. And he’d tried to convince Y/n that briefly, but gave up. She was bloody stubborn when she wanted to be. 

“Stop competing about who has it worse cos I think it’s me and Nell”Ellie announced - making Nelli agree empathically with her coworker, nodding her head as she looked first to Y/n in her chair then back at Tom.

“Yeh because we have to deal with your unusable faces!!”

After much sarcasm thrown back and fourth, the trailer slowly ebbed it’s way back into serenity and peace as both artists focused on their work. Once Nelli was done she excused herself, Tom staying in the chair in favour of studying (more like staring blankly) at the dialogue for this mornings scenes. His pretence didn’t last long though and while Ellie was busy adding the final touches of fake blood to the now almost completely believable gash that she’d crafted on Y/n’s arm - Y/n had her attention focused the opposite way.

At poor little Tom. He looked so childlike, his slightly puffy eyes looked as if they had weights tied to them - they way he was having fight against gravity to flutter his eyes open, before loosing the next second only for the process to repeat as they dragged downwards. The broad muscles of his neck occasionally seemed to occasionally let up a little, letting his head tilt slowly at first until it gathered enough momentum to throw him off balance. The then sudden movement of his head unconsciously pulling itself back in line caused his eyes to bolt open prior to the whole cycle repeating again. All Y/n wanted to do was let him lay down someone, her heart feeling a tug in her chest just seeing him like that. 

Ellie proclaimed her completion of the wound, leaning back to admire her work before looking to get an affirming nod from Y/n. Yet instead, she was too preoccupied gazing at the boy slouched across from them. “Someone seems a little distracted.” Ellie smirked, finally garnering Y/n’s attention, only feeling more and more smug watching a light tint appear on the actors cheeks. 

“I-well-no… we need to go.” Y/n ignored her words as though nothing had happened, instead rushing off the chair to get Tom out the chair and onto the awaiting set. They had places to be.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (bcos im lazy)

Honestly when the director, Ed, called for lunch break, it was pretty apparent to be purely as a compassionate gesture to Y/n and Tom. Both of them had tried so hard this morning to fully commit, even so they’d both been almost completely useless. Y/n kept missing cues whilst all Tom’s actions and lines where slow, dragged out and at times completely prompted from someone behind the cameras. 

So when the lunch break was called there was only one thing on Y/n’s mind and what sandwich was available in the mess tent was not it. Still standing on the set next to her fake holdall bag she looked toward Tom, who was pulling himself up to standing from the train station bench - the pace of his movement making him look more like an old man. 

“You good?” His answer was predictable. 

“I’m so fucking shattered”

Tom swore he’d never heard anything sweeter come out of Y/n’s pink lips than her next statement.

“C’mon I know somewhere we can lie down.”

Without any sort of thought Tom blindly agreed, nodding as he took her outstretched hand in his. The gesture in itself brought a fresh wave of comfort to his aching limbs and as his feet stumbled to catchup with her slight head start he leant the majority of his weight into their connected hands. 

Neither would admit it but they were ‘a thing’… whatever the hell that meant. It was clear as day to everyone and anyone that worked closely to the two but neither of them had ever broached the topic with each other. They’d worked on a few films together over the years; each time they got closer and closer to the point any job without the other simply wasn’t as good. It was scary though, especially for two actors in the prime of their careers. If they weren’t working the same film they’d likely be the opposite side of the world to each other most of the time - quality time together would be few and far between, Really their jobs didn’t suit dating at all, yet it would be perhaps easier if one half of it worked a ‘normal’ job. Something with consistency, a regular structure. A level of dependability that neither Y/n nor Tom could offer to the other. 

So it was terrifying, acknowledging the growth in their magnetic attraction to each other. Both were acutely aware that doing that, confronting their feelings, would most likely signal the beginning of the end. 

Although none of this stoped Y/n from returning the gesture, tilting her shoulder into Tom’s left side as they took slow steps through and then out the set building. She steered the two past the hair and makeup trailer and round into a store and extra equipment trailer. Tom tilted his head as she climbed the stairs whilst beckoning for him to follow - it didn’t seem like the most obvious choice. Rolling her eyes, Y/n explained.

“It’s where all the blankets and coats and kept for the raining scenes plusssss no one will disturb us in here.” Again Tom was not in a position to disagree, eyes drooping as his shoulders sagged to the floor. Right now he’d take anything. 

So he climbed up the stairs and shut the door behind him, just as Y/n flipped the light on. She was right, it was well equipped and with an almost mountainous supply of red blankets that normally the crew and extra would all be wrapped up in after the freezing rain scenes with all the ‘waterfall machines’ as Y/n called them. However it was also um…. It was cosy. “Oh I don’t think I realised how small it was” She chuckled lightly, since now the door was closed her back was pressed up against the far wall of cabinets and still her front was mere millimetres from Tom.

“I…I don’t mind… if-if you don’t?”

“I’m too tired to care” She giggled in response, and Tom , now with her seal of approval, immediately started ransacking the piled shelves for all their worth creating a floor carpeted in the pale red of the blankets, in an attempt to make it more cosy. Joining in, it was almost remarkable how quickly their bodies suddenly agreed to move, with the new promise of rest mere moments away. 

Once the trailer was fully drowned, Tom kicked off his costume shoes and threw his jacket off - it haphazardly landing by the doorway. Y/n copied him, leaving her stood up whilst he had the advantaged of already settling down on the floor, her standing and looking down at him.

The space between the two opposing shelving units was not close spacious enough for two people to lie down whilst keeping a respectable level of personal space. Suddenly feeling a wave of awkwardness, Y/n stayed standing, wringing her hands slightly - whilst fairly certain Tom could hear her heart running at 100 mph. 

“You er… gonna stay there or?” Tom, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t a complete idiot - he could see she was suddenly self conscious. He got it too - they’d never crossed this boundary of choosing to cuddle into each other. It had happened once of twice accidentally over there 2 years of knowing each other. Both of those times it was completely accidental, falling asleep watching a movie with a safe distance of space b between the two, only to find hours later their bodies almost completely intwined. Tom would be lying if he said that his heart didnt skip a beat when he had awoken to Y/n’s soft and gently breath fanning into his neck. He’d loved it, but understood that was unconsciously breaking down part of the wall they’d both been the constructors of.

For fear of getting hurt. 

So now, as Y/n awkwardly bent down and lay on her side, he thought it was imperative to make her feel comfortable. Naturally then, his arm slid round her shoulders and pulled her down toward his chest, releasing a little breath as he felt her relax, her legs slowly wrapping round one of his. 

“This okay?” He murmured, now into the crown of her head as she lay half on her side half on his chest. In reply she nodded into him and Tom couldn’t help but grin- unbeknownst to him but Y/n was doing the exact same thing. 

The peace lasted all of 3 seconds until she groaned again.

“What?” Tom enquired as she wriggled out his hold and stood up. Instead of replying though she just leant over and flicked the one harsh light bulb off making Tom chuckle as she fumbled her way back onto the padded floor in the darkness, earning a few grunts from both as she accidentally kicked Tom’s thighs or banged her head on one of the now empty shelves. Fumbling her way back into a comfortable position, occasionally cursing when she stubbed her toe- or Tom did when she accidentally elbowed him in the ribs. 

“Comfy?” Tom asked a little sarkily as he squeezed her a little more into his side.

“Mhmmmm… I’m gonna sleep for 100 years”

“Yeh me… me too”

And with that they both almost instantly and in complete unison sagged into each other and the blankets - the pent up stress and tension of the past few days ebbing away.

What the pair had neglected to remember was that sleeping for 100 years wasn’t really an option. The whole crew of 50 people, who wanted to restart filming after 45 minutes, had not been told about Y/n’s little hiding place. The pair were so completely safe in their own little cocoon of comfort they were completely oblivious to their teams calling there names more and more frantically. Completely oblivious to the game of hide and seek the situation had descended into, completely oblivious to Harrys natural annoyance as the director asked him for the whereabouts of the two stars - as though Harry was childminder to the pair of them.

It was Nelli who found them first. She’d and Ellie and Tom’s manager had all been recruited by Harry as part of the man hunt. Both girls, having seen first hand the state of the two this morning, were fairly certain they’d both crashed out somewhere. So Nelli, already with a sneaking suspicion, opened the door gently, her figure blocking the majority of the light from seeping through to the dimly lit inside. The sight she was met with had her actually pouting at the cuteness - and yes its a cringey word but also the only one appropriate.

Between bedding down and barely an hour later the two had managed to become impossibly tighter pressed to each other. Y/n’s face was pressed into the crook of Tom’s neck and his arms seemed to have pulled her on-top of him almost completely. Her left leg was hooked under his right, which was then sandwiched by his left too. They both looked so pure and innocent and god did Nelli know they both needed any extra time they could get.

Nelli cared a lot about Tom, she’d been working with him from the beginning, from the child star days to now. She cared about him like her very annoying surrogate son and she wanted to see him looked after. She also so completely wanted the two stars to stop pining after each other. Because frankly it was getting a little frustrating for everyone else. 

So she chose to tactically forget about her discovery, sneaking a photo on the sly before silently pulling the door closed and leaving them to their sleep. 

[thran-duils]

Am I On the Screen? (P.1)

Title: Am I On the Screen? (Part One) Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Fem!Reader Summary: Hugh is a prick and the reader gets herself into trouble with him with her attitude. Hugh has the perfect plan to keep her in line though. Words: 2,116 Warnings: S M U T, language, dub-con, blackmail, masturbation, online sex Author’s Notes: If something like this has been done already, welp, I suck.

Part Two || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Are you, are you filming me? Am I, am I on the screen? 'Cause it feels like your watching me 'Cause it feels like they’re watching me Am I on the screen?

-- Are You Filming Me? // twst

Marta’s laugh faltered and she cleared her throat, her eyes averting from the doorway quickly. You turned your head to look over your shoulder and saw what had made her stop laughing. Hugh. He sure had a way of sucking the air out of a room, especially with that glower he was pointing in the two of your direction.

“Hugh,” you greeted him civilly, turning the shrimp over in the pan. “Are you hungry?”

“Not for anything that you are making,” Hugh responded rudely, walking past you towards the fridge.

You shot Marta a vexed look and she rose her eyebrows, shaking her head slightly.

“Well, there’s some take out on the second shelf in the fridge that I can assure you I had nothing to do with. I just picked it up for my lunch. If you want, I’ll trade you that for a plate of what I’m making,” you said, unable to help yourself.

Hugh stopped, his hand on the handle of the fridge. Unamused, he stared at you for a few moments before saying, “You should watch your mouth, Y/N.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you quipped, turning the stove off, and moving to arrange Harlan’s plate.

You could feel Hugh’s glare burning into your back and you smirked to yourself at having gotten under his skin even just a little bit. The prick deserved to be knocked down a couple pegs.

<><><>

Gym bag slung over your shoulder, you slammed your car door closed and locked it. On the way up to your townhouse door, you unlocked your mailbox and grabbed the papers inside. You were looking forward to your shower, thinking of the sweet relief you would get from the hot water.

Upon opening your front door, you almost stepped onto an envelope that had been slid underneath the door. You closed the door and turned around, placing your bag down along with the other mail on the entrance table. You swooped down and picked up the unmarked envelope, confused why it had not just been slipped into your mailbox.

“What…” you muttered, staring down at the photos.

Bile rose in your throat realizing what it was. They were screenshots of you from your OnlyFans account during one of your live events. And you quickly noticed it was not from just one; there were a handful of them, you in different lingerie, different toys. A note was with the pictures.

I want you to say my name when you’re riding that large, pretty, purple dildo tonight.

Who sent you this and why? There was no name attached to it. And how the hell did they know where you lived? A chill crept down your spine, thinking of all the true crime documentaries that you had binged and all the women who were kidnapped and murdered, their bodies never found.

Unnerved, you tore the photos and the note up, rushing towards the kitchen. You shoved the ruined remains in the trash, shoving them as far down as you could. Stepping back, your eyes were glued to the trashcan, anxiety creeping. What if you had a stalker?

You bit your lip, trying to think of all the ways you could protect yourself if you were approached on the street or god forbid, someone broke into your home.

The clock caught your attention, and you swore, realizing you had been standing there for fifteen minutes worrying and had cut into your shower time. You still needed to get to work. Trying to ignore the nagging anxiety, you rushed to get ready.

<><><>

Throughout the day, your mind had continuously returned to the note and the pictures. You could not go to the police to file a report or anything, they would think you were being over dramatic. Plus, you were not keen on sharing your account and really, no one had done anything illegal. Still, you were frightened.

At the end of the day when dinner was finished and you had breakfast set up for the morning for Marta to get ready for Harlan when she got there in the morning, you stopped at the bathroom on the way out the door to relieve yourself before the drive home. When you opened the door, you jumped seeing Hugh standing there, just waiting, looking very much a predator.

Hugh rested his hand on the doorframe, leaning in and effectively blocking your way out of the bathroom.

“Do you need something?” you asked, your tone short. On top of the anxiety you already had, you did not want to deal with this dickhead. When had he shown up anyway?

His smile did not reach his eyes as his eyes wandered down, unabashedly soaking you in. Your mouth set into a thin line. If he was trying to unnerve you by being a pompous ass, he was going to have to try harder than throwing you a lewd look.

“Did you get my gift?” Hugh asked nonchalantly. Your brow stitched, confused. He leaned in closer, a malicious glint in his eyes. “I’d prefer it if you reverse cowgirl’d it while you’re saying my name.”

Your breath froze in your chest and he knew the moment that it clicked for you, an arrogant smile painted on his lips.

“You… bastard,” you got out, before trying to move past him.

He blocked your way again and you clenched your jaw, fury thrumming underneath your skin at the smug look on his face.

“Does my grandfather not pay you enough? I would imagine he does but maybe you’ve got more expensive tastes than you give off,” Hugh ridiculed you. He rose his brows and whispered, “Or maybe you just like knowing there are people getting off to that perfectly round ass.” You tried to get around him again and he chuckled, blocking your way once more. “Did I hit a nerve, babydoll?”

He gripped your jaw and you tried to jerk away but he clamped down harder, stopping you from doing so. “I’ve been watching you for a while. You put on quite the show. I just can’t seem to bring myself to actually bury myself inside you though. I’ve certainly thought about it… showing up at your place and making you wrap those beautiful lips around my cock. But I beat off to whores, not fuck them. Keeps me clean.”

You slapped his hand away, angry tears stinging at your eyes. “Get. Out. Of. My. Way.”

“Not until you tell me you’re gonna do like I asked.”

Scoffing, you told him as calmly as you could, “I don’t do it for free.”

“Oh, you aren’t,” Hugh assured you. “I already pay to subscribe, remember? But trust me, your job is on the line. What if I showed my grandfather what his cook is doing afterhours? Do you think he would want to keep a slut employed and tied to his name? That is a lot of money on the table and so you aren’t doing it for free. And don’t even think about quitting because I’ll find out where you work. And I have no problem sending the photos there too. So… you’re kind of stuck with me, pumpkin.”

He gripped your chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to nod as he mimicked a higher pitched voice, “’Yes, Hugh, I’ll beg for you’.” In his regular voice, he practically purred, “C’mon, Y/N. Say it nice and clear for daddy.”

You had no choice. You knew he would make good on his threats; he was not one to mess around about people not following his orders.

Strained, you told him, “Yes, I’ll do it.”

He cupped his hand to his ear, “’I’ll do it…’”

You grated, “Daddy.”

“Perfect. You’re a peach,” Hugh told you grinning. He leaned back, dropping his arm. As soon as you saw the exit, you made to rush past him. At the last second, he reached out, grasping your arm and stopping your momentum. “Oh, and by the way… that purple heart plug too. Just to match.”

He gave you one last self-satisfied smirk before letting go of you and you took off, feeling his eyes burn into the back of your head.

<><><>

Legs spread in front of the camera, you tweaked your nipple through your black lace bra. You had put your garter and thigh highs on to match but were panty less. You had already stripped and done some oral play, something the commenters could not seem to ever get enough of.

You uttered his name for the first time, “I want Hugh.”

Your finger running tantalizingly slow down your slit, staring into the camera. You hated how much it sounded like ‘you’, meaning anyone could be hearing it thinking nothing of it. But you knew Hugh was getting off on knowing you were saying his name.

Pressing your fingers in, you spread your lips, showing yourself off to the camera. A new slew of messages popped up, encouraging you to play with your clit.

“I’m sure you wish it was you,” you breathed, well versed on dirty talk during your live feeds. “I’m sure your fingers would be so much better…” You slipped a finger in. “Your fingers instead filling me up. Getting me ready for that big cock of yours.”

You were good and wet now, comments coming in lusting after the glisten on your lips. Remembering what he asked, your fingers left your sex and you got up, moving the camera to the ground and angled upwards. Grabbing the dildo, you wet the bottom of it, suctioning it to the hardwood floor. For good measure, you added a healthy amount of lube to the dildo, making sure the camera could see your hand massaging it, a sly smirk on your face.

None of this would be out of the ordinary if it was not for the fact you knew Hugh was watching. You could not get the image of him sitting behind his screen, his hand stroking himself watching you abide to his whims.

Spreading your cheeks, you showed off the plug and heard the chime of new messages being sent. You could not help but smile, knowing that was a treat for the viewers. The head of the dildo entered you and you moaned softly. You started slow, adjusting to the girth, moving inch by inch down the length. Gradually, you increased the depth and speed, encouraging whoever was watching to think about their own dicks fucking you like this.

“I want Hugh to fuck me,” you gasped, riding the dildo quickly, your fingers stroking your clit. You were getting close and you leaned completely into it, your mind a haze. “I want Hugh to fuck me so bad. Hugh can cum inside me, fill me up. I’ll take every inch, daddy. Please fuck me. I’m your dirty girl.” Your hand was moving erratically and a few more strokes sent you tumbling over the edge. You gasped, seeing stars, clenching around the dildo.

You sat there for a couple moments, relishing in your high.

As your mind cleared, your cheeks burned thinking about all the things you had said lost to your passion. The thought of Hugh’s hand covered in his cum, head thrown back at your complete submission to his request flashed through your mind. Thankfully, your face was away from the camera and you swallowed, trying to calm yourself down. And also thankfully, your red face could be attributed to that mind blowing orgasm you just gave yourself.

The dildo was wet when you came up off of it and you picked up the camera, taking it with you to sit it back down in front of your station.

Your eyes met the camera again and you gave it a sensual smile, your eyes flicking to all the new comments, positive encouragement ringing throughout them. Your hand slipped down to your cunt and you brought your fingers up to your lips, sucking on them gently.

“I think I’m gonna take a shower. I’ll think about your hands washing me down,” you told the camera before blowing it a kiss. “Good night.”

As soon as the camera was off, your hands shook as you brought them back to your lap.

That had been a great orgasm. And you hated it.

Your phone buzzed and you whipped your head around to look at it over on your bed. Standing up, you picked it up, staring down at the text. You did not have the number saved but you knew damn well who it was and how he had gotten it in the first place.

I’m gonna break my rule. Don’t shower. Keep that pussy glistening for me.

~~~

Tags: @coconutqueen21

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 32

A/N: Another ‘friend’ of ours makes an appearance in this chapter (unfortunately for me lmao)

August 2nd, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was as prepared as she could be for Game 1 against the Columbus Blue Jackets.  

Scotiabank Arena was freezing – more freezing than normal – because of the three-games-a-day and all the hockey being played.  She knew the players and team personnel would complain if the ice was crap (apparently they could tell, though it beat the shit out of her how they could tell), and of course Scotiabank Arena, and the Leafs in general, wanted to make an excellent impression.  They were the centre of the hockey world, so Aberdeen knew they could pull it off.  It just didn’t help that it was August and it felt like early November indoors.

She joined Brendan and Kyle in their usual box – luckily they didn’t have to give that up.  The team was taking their pre-game skate below and Aberdeen watched as William shot pucks towards Freddie in the net, sneaking one past him before skating around their perimeter of the rink a few times.  On the other side of the ice, the Columbus Blue Jackets were doing the exact same thing, though she barely knew or recognized a soul on the team.  One of them could walk by her in the arena and she wouldn’t know better.  

“How do you think it’s gonna go?” Brendan asked from six feet away from her, his black mask covering his face.

Aberdeen shrugged her shoulders.  “You should stop asking me these questions, Brendan.  I know nothing about hockey.”

“That may be,” he said, not letting up, “but you know the boys, on a level far superior than your knowledge of hockey.  So what do you say?”

Aberdeen thought about it.  She knew them on a personal level, but that didn’t matter at all – at least she didn’t think it mattered – when it came to a playoff game.  She knew how much pressure the guys were under.  She also knew that they were still adjusting to the bubble life and how weird everything was.  Make no mistake – they were being taken care of exceptionally well by the staff at the Royal York Hotel, and Aberdeen made sure she said a loud thank you to every worker she came across and interacted with.  She heard every single one of the guys do the exact same thing.  But she didn’t know how that would translate into a hockey game.  They were two different things.  They were to different entities that she had no idea how to join together.  

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, her voice soft.  “When you ask me these questions, I feel like you want me to be Nostradamus or something.  What if I said they were going to lose 2-0?”

“I’d believe you,” Brendan shrugged.

***

The Leafs lost 2-0.

“C’mon Nostradamus,” Brendan said as he packed up his clipboard and tucked it under his arm.  “The social media posts can wait.  You need to go mediate the post-game interviews and press calls.”

Aberdeen packed up her iPad after she rolled her eyes.  She shouldn’t have said anything.  She should have responded ‘They’re going to win 5-0!’ the first time he ever asked her that question and kept that answer throughout the entire season.  She followed six feet behind Kyle, who was in turn six feet behind Brendan, as they made their way to the locker room.  By the time they got there, Sheldon was nearing the end of his post-game speech.  Most of the guys were half undressed – at least at the top – and a few of them were shoving off their elbow pads and chucking their tape from their socks into the bins.  They all looked irritated.  

She made her way into the media room and set up the Zoom call where a bunch of reporters joined.  Morgan and Auston walked into the room, and she quickly typed in the chat which players were there so they could organize their questions accordingly.  Morgan and Auston sat down in their chairs.  

“Is Steve on the call?” Auston asked suddenly while Aberdeen was adjusting the camera.

“Uh, yeah.  Why?” she asked.

Auston pursed his lips together and shrugged it off.  

The interviews were going fine.  She hated hearing the sound of her own voice on recordings but she knew she’d have to suck it up for the sake of the media call.  She called on each reporter by name.  The boys answered their questions.  It was all very routine.  

“Steve Simmons from the Toronto Sun,” Aberdeen called out.  She waited, and while waiting, she saw Morgan’s and Auston’s demeanour completely change.  

“Uhhh, Steve Simmons, Toronto Sun for Auston – it’s one thing to hear about how tight they play, and to even watch the films of how tight they play.  What was it like to experience it?”

Auston took the lead.  “Uh, well I mean first of all, it’s unfortunate that I’mn getting a question from you at this point, Steve, but I just wanted to say I didn’t really appreciate the article you wrote about me a couple months ago.  I thought, uh, it was very unethical to be honest, but…uh, moving along…”

Aberdeen didn’t hear the rest of his answer.  Truthfully, she didn’t care.  All she could feel was a burning sensation shooting up her spine at Auston’s words.  He did it.  He called out Steve Simmons, the most annoying reporter known to mankind.  

She smirked.

***

After the media interviews, Aberdeen found a quiet space and took out her iPad again to post the final score graphic to the team’s Instagram page.  As she finished typing the caption – ‘Battled hard.  Back at it on Tuesday.’ – she heard some fairly loud footsteps behind her before they stopped.  “A girl?” a voice from behind her said.

She didn’t recognize it – and it wasn’t like anybody from the team would refer to her as “a girl” – so she furrowed her brows and turned around.  She saw what had to be a member of the Columbus Blue Jackets staring at her.  She couldn’t see it, but she automatically knew from the way he was standing and the energy he gave off that he was smirking smugly underneath his mask.  “Yeah, we exist,” she shot him a look, not ready to take any bullshit from him or anybody else.  The way these men thought she was a complete novelty astounded her.  “Have you never seen one of us before?”

“So Barzy was right,” the man continued.  “The Leafs have a girl in their bubble.  Incredible.”

Aberdeen could tell by the way he said and emphasized girl that this conversation – if you could call it that – was gonna be a doozy.  The guy was huge but didn’t look any older than she was, so she knew she would be able to put him in his place.  “What are you even doing in this hallway?  You’re not supposed to be on this side,” she said sternly.  “I suggest you leave and go back to your area of the arena unless you want me to complain to the NHL that your breaching protocol.”

From the very end of the hallway, another figure walked by, stopping at the gap when he apparently found who he was looking for.  Aberdeen could at least recognize him – John Tortorella, the head coach of the Columbus Blue Jackets.  “Pierre, what the fuck are you doing there?  Come on, we gotta go.”

The man, named Pierre, gave Aberdeen a smoldering look.  She rolled her eyes.  “Must have taken a wrong turn,” he said, loud enough so John would hear.

Dead set on not taking any bullshit, and just really, really wanting to put this guy in his place, Aberdeen didn’t let up.  “Perhaps you should remind Pierre of how to speak to the staff of another NHL team,” she said sternly.  Both men were too far away to notice how red she was getting, but she could see Pierre whip his head to look at her and his eyes go wide in shock.  “And perhaps he should read another copy of the social distancing and bubble protocols tonight in his bedroom so he doesn’t make this unfortunate decision again,” she said, deliberately using ‘decision’ instead of ‘mistake’, because she fucking knew this was no mistake.  She wondered what other rumours were swirling in the Royal York about a girl being in the Leafs bubble.  

Pierre scurried to the end of the hallway.  From her spot, she could hear John chuckle.  “You must be the Aberdeen Bloom I’ve only ever heard good things about,” he said.  “Keep it up.  I might ask you to take my place to keep the boys in line.”

She couldn’t help but smile.  Pierre took one last look between his coach and ‘the girl’.  “I could take ‘em,” Aberdeen commented, getting a nod from John before he and Pierre disappeared.  

She let out a breath.  

***

After the team got back to the hotel, picked up their pre-packaged dinner, and settled into their rooms, Aberdeen showered and changed.  She sat at the desk where she put the meal and took out her phone.  She sent some quick texts to her parents, Siena, and Camden before bringing up William’s name.

U up?

lmao minskatt isnt that what i should be saying to u *wink emoji*

Do you want to eat dinner together?

of course

I’m ready whenever you are babe

She waited for him to start the call.  Not even two minutes later, her phone began to ring and “Head Empty” flashed across the screen.  She accepted the FaceTime call almost immediately.  When it connected and he appeared on her screen, walking in his hotel room with his bathrobe on and his hair wet and tied back, she smiled.  “Hi.”

“Hi minskatt,” he said, his voice low.  She watched as he put a pair of headphones on.  “That’s better.”

Hers were already in.  “I’m sorry about the game tonight,” she said, perching her phone on a high point on the desk.  “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

He shrugged.  “Not really.  At least, not right now,” he said, putting his phone down too.  “Maybe later.  Like, after we have dinner.”

“Promise me we will.”

“I promise,” he said, looking into the phone.  He knew she would want him to talk about it, and he made her a promise all those months ago.  He would never break it.  “Right now I just want to have dinner over FaceTime with my girlfriend even though we’re less than fifty feet away from each other.”

Aberdeen chuckled, if only because she agreed wholeheartedly that this whole thing was ridiculous.  The tone of William’s voice made her know that he thought it completely ridiculous too.  “It’s hard.  I know.  At least we get free food,” she held up a forkful of the marinated chicken breast.  “And good food.  It’s not like it’s airplane food.”

William smiled slightly.  “First thing I do when we get out of here is bring you to Canoe or Ardo or Miku and splurge on every meal they have on the menu,” he said.  

“Sounds good to me.  Maybe by then I’ll have a new job to celebrate, anyway.”

“How’s the article coming along?” he asked.

“Fine,” she said.  She’s started in the other day and already had about 1500 words worth of material.  She figured the best way to go about it was keep a sort of diary every day and then edit it down when she could.  “Might talk about how fucking awkward you hockey boys are these days with women.”

“I’m excluded from that, right?” he asked.  “I mean, I totally swept you off your feet when we first met.”

She couldn’t help but smile.  “You did.”

***

August 3rd, 2020

Aberdeen accompanied the team to one of the workout facilities just so she could catch a glimpse of sone sunshine on the day off.  Instead of working out, she sat on the sidelines of where all the equipment was and the boys worked out, furiously typing away on her personal laptop.  Every so often when she’d glance up, she’d see Morgan’s thighs almost ripping through his shorts as he did some lunges; she’d see Auston’s biceps almost bursting through his sleeves as he lifted weights above his head; she’d see William’s thick torso exposed as his shirt rode up from him throwing a heavy medicine ball above his head.  

A million girls in this city would kill her to be in her position.

And here she was, writing 10,000 words about them instead of ogling them.  Well, everyone except her secret boyfriend.

***

August 4th, 2020

Game 2.  

Aberdeen was confident that the boys would respond to Columbus’s win in Game 1.  She could tell in their energy throughout the day and in the arena they were ready and they were ready to win.  

“Hey Nostradamus,” Brendan called out, winking.  Aberdeen saw Kyle chuckle from behind his mask.  “What’s the score gonna be?”

“Oh shut it,” she shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest and smirking to herself.  Except she couldn’t hold her tongue.  “3-0, but this time for us.”

“I believe her!” Kyle piped up.  

Brendan snorted.  “Who’s placing bets?!”

The bell rang and everybody settled down to stand for the anthem.  As the game got underway, Aberdeen could feel rushes of electricity move up her spine every time the Leafs touched the puck.  They were playing phenomenally.  They looked focused, into it, and like a complete team.  It was a night and day difference from Game 1.  Though the first period didn’t have any goals, Aberdeen knew they’d be coming – for the Leafs only.

In the second period Auston scored and Aberdeen jumped out of her seat to celebrate.  And when John scored late in the third period to get a two goal lead, she was even happier.  

Then, with less than two minutes left, disaster hit.  

It was a play behind the net.  Pierre Luc Dubois – the guy from the other day, Aberdeen had learned – basically cross-checked Jake Muzzin, and Jake fell awkwardly, trying to break it, with his head hitting a Blue Jackets player’s leg.  He fell to the ice.  

He wasn’t getting up.  And the referee hadn’t blown the whistle.  

Those fuckers.

“BLOW THE FUCKING WHISTLE!!!” Aberdeen screamed at the top of her lungs, startling Brendan and Kyle.  Her face was turning red.  She was sure she’d been so loud the referee actually heard her, because he finally blew it.  Jake was having a hard time getting up, and then he lay back down.  One of the trainers immediately made his way onto the ice, rushing towards Jake.

The replays began to play from every angle, and Aberdeen watched on the TV screen in the box how his head and neck contorted once he hit the player’s thigh.  She had tears in her eyes as she watched the worst angles.  She looked back out onto the ice to see Jake still lying there.  The trainer was still with him, though more were making their way onto the ice now.  Then, she saw one of the trainers put his hands near Jake’s neck.  They called for a stretcher.  

She bolted out of her seat.

“Aberdeen!” she could hear Brendan call out after her, but she didn’t listen.  She didn’t turn around.  She hurried down to ice level, her mind running a mile a minute, and flashed her credentials to anyone and everyone she needed to, not bothering to stop so they could actually see them.  

By the time she got to ice level, she could hear the distant sound of sticks tapping, letting her know he was being stretched off.  She met all the trainers and the stretcher at the entrance.  “Jake?!” she asked frantically.  

“Aberdeen?” he asked.  

“Are you okay?  Did you break your neck?!”

“I didn’t break my neck.  I can feel my arms and legs,” he said.  Aberdeen let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding in.  “Did it look scary?”

“Is that a joke?” she asked.  “I ran down here the second they called for the stretcher.”

“We’re going to take him to the hospital.  He’s going to have to leave the bubble,” the head trainer informed Aberdeen.  “You need to tell Brendan and Kyle.  Then update us on the protocol of what it will take to get him back into the hotel.”

Before she could acknowledge what was just said, Jake spoke up again.  “Aberdeen?”

“Yeah Jake?”

“You need to call Courtney for me.  Tell her I’m okay,” he said.  “She’s probably worried sick.”

Aberdeen’s heart sunk into her stomach.  Courtney.  “Yeah yeah, of course—”

“—You have her number, right—”

“—We really need to get him to the hospital—”

“—Yeah, I have her number—”

“—Call Courtney, please,” were Jake’s last words before he was stretchered off.

Aberdeen watched until they were out of her line of sight.  For a few moments, the images of what just happened flashed through her mind, and she momentarily forgot about everything.  She felt sick to her stomach.  Jake said he felt okay, but she knew hockey players always just said that.  Morgan had been playing injured for the better part of the year until he actually got injured.  High sticks to the face, lost teeth, blood drawn – these guys just put a bandaid on it and said they were fine.  But this was different.  

When Courtney’s face crossed her mind, she jolted back to life and grabbed her phone out of her pocket, scrolling until she found Courtney’s number.  The phone didn’t even have to ring twice.  “Aberdeen?!” she asked frantically.  “How’s Jake?”

“Hey Court—he’s okay—”

“He’s okay?!”

“Well, they’re bringing him to the hospital right now,” she said.  “But I was able to talk to him because I rushed down to ice level and he told me he was fine and to call you.”

“So you—you were able to talk to him,” Courtney said, her voice much calmer than just moments before.  “You saw him?”

“Yes.  He told me he could move his arms and legs,” Aberdeen informed her.

“Okay.  Okay.  Does that mean he has to leave the bubble though?  I mean can I go visit him?”

Aberdeen cringed.  “I don’t think so,” she said.  As she did, she could hear Luna being fussy in the background and Courtney trying to calm her.  “The NHL has an agreement with Toronto General about potential injuries.  If everything is okay and he comes back into the bubble, all he has to do is pass three negative tests,” she explained, listening to Luna get even fussier.  

“Okay.  Alright.  But they’ll call me, right?”

“Absolutely.  I’m sure Jake will even be able to call you from the hospital.  Our trainers all have their phones on them.”

“Thanks Aberdeen,” Courtney said, and Aberdeen could hear the relief in her voice.  She knew all Courtney wanted was to hear from her husband.  Luna let out a loud cry.  “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye Court,” Aberdeen ended the call.  

Families.  So many of them had families.  So many of them had families that were suffering and making do with a prolonged absence and Aberdeen couldn’t take it.  The players were sacrificing so much to be in the bubble.  And their families were sacrificing so much letting them go into the bubble.  She knew most of them had money – to cope, to do whatever, really – but that didn’t compensate for presence.  That didn’t compensate for having daddy around to play and snuggle with.  

She began to cry as she found herself walking towards the locker room, not even knowing whether or not the game had ended.  She didn’t really care at this point.  All she could think about was Courtney and Luna at home, worrying about Jake as he was being taken to the hospital.  To Aberdeen, nothing else mattered right now.  

She heard some commotion from the locker room and she knew the boys were back in.  She didn’t know how long they’d been back for, and didn’t bother to peek in to see.  She didn’t want to when her eyes were still red and welling up with tears.  Instead, she hid herself around a corner, crouching down with her knees against her chest, wiping at her eyes every so often and trying to control her emotions before having to go in, or getting called by Brendan, or by Kyle, or—

“There you are.”

Well, so much for that.

She looked up from her crouched position and saw Jason looking down at her.  He wasn’t completely undressed – he had all his UnderArmour on – but he was still sweaty from the game and his hair was matted against his head.  She wiped her eyes one last time before getting up.  “Hi.”

“Did you see Jake?”

She nodded.  “He’s okay.  He can feel and move his arms and legs or whatever.”

“Why are you crying?”

She knew he wasn’t asking to be insolent, but did she really have to have to spell it out for him?  “Don’t tell me you’re immune to this shit,” she said.  “I just had to call Courtney and explain to her that her husband didn’t break his neck and end his God damn career.  Luna was crying in the background.  It’s a lot, okay?”

Jason nodded his head.  “I know it is.  I’m not trying to…fuck, I know that came out wrong.  He’s gonna be okay, Aberdeen.”

“Thanks.”

“Come on, Aberdeen,” he said soothingly.  “It’s gonna be okay.”

She shook her head, wiping away the last of her tears.  “I know.  I’m just being a big baby.”

“No you’re not,” Jason said.  “You’re not being a big baby.  You’re being a human being.  Someone you cared about got hurt.  Do you want to talk about it when you get back to the hotel?” he asked.

She considered it for only half a second before she shook her head.  “No.  I know you call your girls every night.  I can’t take time away from them.”

“Aberdeen—”

“I’ll be okay,” she asserted.  “I promise.  I’ll be okay.”

“Aberdeen!” Kyle’s voice suddenly called out.  He rushed towards her with his phone in his hand.  “They took him to the hospital, right?”

“Yeah,” she nodded her head, trying to steady her voice and make it seem as professional as possible.  “He’s technically left the bubble, so we have to update the trainers on protocol to get him back into the hotel and how—”

“I’ll handle that with Brendan and Josh,” he interrupted.  “But he was okay?”

“He could feel his arms and legs.  That’s what he told me.  Then he asked me to call Courtney and I did that.”

Kyle nodded his head, looking – really looking – at Aberdeen for the first time in their conversation.  “Were you crying?”

“I’m going to be fine,” was all she said.  

***

“I’m going to come to your room,” William said through the phone in a strained voice.

“Don’t you dare,” Aberdeen chastised him, a new batch of tears having fallen down her face as she lay in bed.  “Don’t you even think about leaving your room, William.”

“Aberdeen, you need me and I need to be with you right now—”

“And you need to stay in your room so you don’t get kicked out of the bubble,” she said sternly.  “I’m being serious, Will.  Don’t come over.”

She watched as he bit his lip and shook his head.  She could see all over his face how conflicted he was.  It was one of the things she loved most about him – to the world, he seemed cool and unemotional and that he didn’t really care about anything or take anything too seriously, but to her, he was the entire range of emotions in one conversation.  He had a heart full of gold and she knew it would always stay that way.  “This is killing me, minskatt,” he whispered, his voice defeated.  “I want to be there for you when you need me.  Always.  I mean…you need me, right?”

Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach.  She didn’t know where this was coming from, but like some things with William, she felt like it was something that had been on his mind for a while and was only letting out now.  He was still learning to talk to her about his feelings.  He was keeping his promise from February, so she could appreciate that.  “Of course I need you,” she said softly.  “I’ll always need you like you need me.  We’re in this together.  You know that.  But you need to be on this team right now.  You need to help them fight.  This isn’t about me.  It’s about the team.”

“It’s always about you,” William said.  “You still don’t get it, do you?  It’s always about you.”

“Don’t make it about me right now, Willy.  It’s not about me.  It’s about Jake, and the team,” she paused for dramatic effect.  “Make it about me later,” she added, trying to be humourous.

It garnered a small smile from him, and she felt proud of herself.  “I love you, minskatt.”

“I love you too Willy.  Promise me you’ll get some sleep?”

He nodded slightly.  “I promise.”

***

Aberdeen’s iPhone was still in her hands as she woke again from its vibrations.  She jumped at the sensation of being awoken in the middle of the night.  If it was Willy calling her at three in the morning, she was gonna kill him.  

“Hello?” her voice was groggy.

The voice on the other end was not William’s.  “I lived, bitch.”  

***

August 6th, 2020

It wouldn’t be a Toronto Maple Leafs series without some drama, apparently.  And the drama tonight was how the team blew a 3-0 lead, allowing the Columbus Blue Jackets to win 4-3 in overtime, with Pierre-Luc Dubois scoring a hattrick.  That meant the Columbus Blue Jackets were now up 2-1 in the series.

It meant the Leafs could go home tomorrow.

Aberdeen tried not to think about it.  

She didn’t bring it up with anybody as they went back to the hotel, and she knew, judging by the looks on their faces, that they didn’t want to hear about it either.  Nobody would be turning on their TVs tonight, and she doubted they would check the news on their phones, either.  Maybe they’d play video games to take their minds off of it.  Or maybe they’d go right to bed and rest, since they had to do all of this again in less than 24 hours.  Fuck.

Aberdeen took a shower.  She washed her face.  She did her skincare.  She put on a sheetmask.  

Her phone rang.

She knew it was William, so she tucked herself into bed and accepted the FaceTime call.  When he realized that she had a sheetmask on, a smile broke out on his face from ear to ear.  “Nice sheetmask,” he said, biting his bottom lip.

She smiled cheekily and shrugged her shoulders.  “You’re used to it by now.  Shouldn’t come as much of a surprise,” she said.

“I am used to it by now and—oh shit, hold on, I forgot something…” he said, trailing off as he set his phone down so Aberdeen could only see the ceiling in his room.  Knowing William, he probably forgot to turn the light off in the bathroom or something.  But the longer he took, the more Aberdeen became skeptical of his whereabouts.  She barely heard anything on the other end.  “There we are…” she heard his voice.  And then she saw what he had on his face: a sheetmask.  He was still smiling from ear to ear.  “Now where were we?” he asked.

“William!” Aberdeen squealed, letting out giggles she couldn’t hold in at the sight of him.  He looked ridiculous.  It was clearly the first time he’d ever put one on himself.  “What in God’s name are you doing?”

“You love these things!” he tried to justify himself.  “I brought one because I knew I’d catch you at least once in here with one of these things on.  And if we can’t do it together…well, physically, then we can do them together in separate rooms.  Like everything else we need to do.”

Her cheeks flushed red – not that he could see.  He bought sheetmasks and put them on with her.  He gave her time to write.  He encouraged her writing.  He listened to her.  He cared for her.  He was even better than anything she could have imagined in a dream boyfriend.  How did she get so lucky?  How did she let guys treat her like shit before him?  She felt tears well in her eyes.  He was going all out to make the best of the bubble, and she couldn’t be more thankful.  “I love you so much, Willy.”

“I love you too, minskatt.”

“No…I love you Willy.  Like love you love you.  Love you love you love you.  I don’t even have the words…and I’m a writer!  You make me speechless, Willy.  There aren’t enough words in the English or Swedish languages that I can string together that will, like, tell you or show you how much I love you.”

“I get it, minskatt.  Don’t worry.  I feel the same way.”

“I don’t know how I got so lucky with you.”

“I annoyed you enough until I wore you down,” he quipped.

She giggled.  “You seduced me is what I’d call it.”

“I don’t know about that.  If I remember correctly it was you rubbing yourself against my thigh that morning.”

She made a face at him.  He made the exact same face back but crinkled his sheetmask so he had to flatten it with his free hand.  She watched him with complete adulation.  “Willy?”

“Minskatt?”

“Can we listen to our song together?”

William smiled.  He fiddled around with his phone and his ‘Minskatt’ playlist until the familiar chords started playing over the phone, filling the air with the nicest, best, most beautiful sound Aberdeen had ever heard – save for Willy’s laugh, maybe – because she knew this song was about her, about them, and it was still their little secret.

[svnflowervol666]

could u probably write one where h is dating a girl that’s a lil curvy? (You can look up someone like julia kelly and katya elise henry on ig/tumblr if u wanna know) and she gets a lot of comparisons from a few of his friends and fans, it kinda brings her down a bit bc idk man I’m a bit curvy too but i get so insecure sometimes knowing that people could be so judgmental but i know harry would love his girl no matter what 🥺❤️

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: smut-ish (at the end)

Something was off with Y/N. Harry had known this for the past few days. It wasn’t that she’d been acting completely different, just so much so that being the caring and attentive person that he is, Harry had picked up on it.

At first, it was turning down second helpings at dinner. He didn’t think much of it aside from giving her the side-eye, because it was her favorite meal that Harry only cooked for her on special occasions. Next, it was her offering to pleasure him in the morning with her mouth instead of letting him take care of them both. Again, it was odd for her to turn down early morning sex, but he’d assumed she was just tired. Then came the nights when Y/N refused to sleep naked. Harry and Y/N always slept without clothes on, Harry claiming that it was just one more layer keeping them apart, which he hated. Again, he thought it was weird, but the weather had been particularly nipply lately so he’d chalked it up to her simply getting chilly throughout the night and needing the extra warmth.

The last and final straw, the whistle-blower that tied all of her off-kilter behaviors together, came to Harry when Y/N was in the shower. She was rinsing off after dinner, which she had only picked at anxiously with her fork without actually eating much of, and Harry was cleaning up the kitchen and living room to prepare for the movie night they had planned. When Harry went to move Y/N’s open laptop from the coffee table, he accidentally woke up the screen, and what he saw puzzled him to no end. It was an article pulled up on her browser, one from a tabloid company titled, “Reasons Why Y/N is Harry Styles’ Best Girlfriend.” The article was filled with photos of not only him and Y/N but of him and his past girlfriends as well. The point was to prove how much happier Harry looked with Y/N as opposed to his exes, but Harry was peeved regardless. Sure, some of these women had done him wrong in the past and left him feeling absolutely gutted, but he hated seeing them being put up against each other in this fashion.

Only adding to his frustration, the next tab over from the article was twitter account that Y/N and Harry had made one drunken night in order to spy on his fans and have a good laugh at how funny some of his followers were. They logged on and scrolled through the tweets together occasionally, but the tweets pulled up on the screen were all about Y/N’s body rather than jokes about how badly they wanted Harry to run them over with his car or memes made out of the horrid candids people had taken of him on stage. They claimed that Y/N was better than Camille because she “actually has an ass,” and that Taylor could never pull off a dress like the one Y/N wore on New Year's Eve because she didn’t have the right curves like Y/N did. Again, not necessarily negative comments, but this coupled with the other article Y/N had been looking at was enough for Harry to comprehend what was happening here.

It didn’t take much for Harry to put it all together, and it broke his heart when he did. She was comparing herself to the other girls Harry had been with. He wasn’t stupid. He knew what people said about Y/N and he knew very well that she looked much different than the other girls he typically went for. People certainly picked up on Harry’s “type,” seeing as he was always a hot topic for the press. Therefore when Y/N came along, everyone had tons to say on the matter. He avoided the comments as much as he could, but it was clear that Y/N was unable to say the same.

In the midst of planning how Harry would approach her on the subject, Y/N emerged from the top of the stairs and made her way over to the couch, dressed in an oversized shirt of Harry’s and a pair of her favorite underwear. Harry quickly closed her laptop and moved it into the kitchen as if he hadn’t just been snooping through her browser history.

“Alright,” she huffed as she plopped down onto the plush cushions of the sofa, wet hair sticking to the nape of her neck, “What’re we watching tonight?”

“Dunno,” Harry pondered, “Should we just search romantic comedies on Netflix and see what we find?”

“You know me too well, bubby,” she sighed contently.

A smile tugged at the corners of Harry’s mouth at the nickname she’d used. She appeared to be in a good mood, so he decided not to push his luck and try talking to her another day.

“Ye’ want some popcorn? Bought a new box at the store yesterday.”

“Uhh, no. I think I’m good. Still pretty full from dinner.”

You hardly touched your dinner, Harry thought to himself. He nodded (extremely hesitantly) at his girlfriend before situating his own self on the sofa next to her.

They settled on some independent film they knew they’d both hate, but that was the fun of it. Cracking jokes about how bad the acting was or about how inconsistent the main character’s accent was was almost more fun to Harry than watching a film that was actually good, which was why they ended up watching shitty, low budget ones on their designated, weekly movie nights.

Nearly halfway through the film, Harry absentmindedly slid his arm that was draped around her waist down to reach for Y/N’s thigh to place over his lap. He loved cuddling her this way, which their bodies morphed together and their legs intertwined under the coziest blanket in his house. Y/N loved it too, so Harry was shocked, but up until recently, not surprised, when she quickly pulled her leg away from Harry’s grip and off of his lap.

“Wha’s wrong? Ye’ don’t want to cuddle wi’ me?”

“What do you mean? I am cuddling with you?”

Harry huffed dramatically and rolled his eyes at his girlfriend’s feigned ignorance.

“Ye’ know exactly what I mean, baby. And it’s not just that. You’ve been acting weird lately. I know ye’ think I haven’t noticed, but I have. Ye’ don’t eat as much at dinner anymore, ye’ sleep with a t-shirt on. Ye’ don’t even want me touchin’ ye’ right now. Plus, I saw what was pulled up on your laptop while ye’ were in the shower. I’m not dumb, Y/N. Just wish you’d talk t’ me about it’s all.”

Y/N felt the embarrassment creep up her chest and spread to her neck. Her cheeks burned hot as she stared directly into his emerald green eyes that were begging, pleading for her to open up to him and tell him why she’d been so clearly obsessed with her appearance as of late. She’d had no idea that she’d even made a pattern out of her behaviors must less that Harry had picked up on them. 

“I-...Harry....I don’t want to talk about this right now,” her voice barely came over a whisper.

“Well, I do. What is it? Ye’ think your too big f’ me or somethin’?”

Y/N sighed frustratingly in Harry’s direction. 

“It’s not that. Not entirely anyway. It’s hard to explain. You’ll think it’s stupid.”

She tried not to look at Harry, but his burning gaze made it impossible to tear her eyes away.

“Baby, nothing ye’ say or feel is stupid. Talk t’ me.”

He placed his ringed hand on her kneecap. She was hesitant to not pull away from his touch, but she tried her best to relax against his grip.

“It’s just that...I don’t....look like the other girls you’ve been with,” Y/N chewed her bottom lip anxiously as soon as the words left her mouth.

Harry still didn’t see her point.

“So?” he questioned, “There’s a reason why I’m not with ‘em anymore.”

“I’m just...I see all of these comments about what people say about me...about us and it makes me feel weird.”

“Weird? Like wha’?”

“Weird like I don't really see why you’re even with me, H. I am the polar opposite of all of your exes.”

Harry had half a mind to be angry with Y/N for more or less accusing him of not loving her when that couldn’t have been further from the truth, but he was able to see things from her side and keep his urges to himself. He knew exactly what it was like to be under constant scrutiny from the press, but she didn’t. She didn’t ask for this, she didn’t deserve this, and she certainly shouldn’t be feeling the way she’s feeling right now. 

“Baby,” Harry cooed her, “Wha’ever it is that ye’ read or wha’ever ye’ thinkin’, ‘ts not true. I swear on me mum that you’re the girl I want t’ spend forever with. Ye’ don’t have to change anything about ye’self to get me t’ love ye’ any more than I already do.”

“But-”

“But nothing,” Harry interrupted, “Promise me ye’ won’t read that rubbish anymore. And promise you’ll stop hidin’ ye’self from me, too.”

Y/N nodded slowly, feeling the tension built up in her shoulders slowly dissipating into thin air. Harry was her favorite person in the world, and hearing that from him meant everything. Of course, she’d still have her moments when she’d feel like she wasn’t good enough, but everyone had those. 

“Good,” Harry leaned over to press a chaste kiss over her forehead, “Now give me a proper cuddle.”

He leaned over to grab her by the waist and hoisted her up completely on top of him.

“Harry, no!” Y/N sheepishly exclaimed through embarrassed giggles.

“Y/N, yes!” Harry taunted her as he made them both comfortable on the sofa once more. 

He pulled the blanket up over their shoulders and wrapped his arms securely around her back so that he could pet her spine whilst they finished the movie. She nestled into Harry’s shoulder and breathed in his scent that lingered on his fitted, white t-shirt. Twenty minutes ago, she’d have felt like she was crushing Harry under her weight, but not now. She felt at peace knowing Harry loved her for who she was.

As movie nights typically go with Harry, he started to get quite handsy towards the end of the film. He was starting to shift about the sofa and his palms were navigating towards the supple skin of Y/N’s bum. At first, it was a comforting hand slipping in between the hemline of her panties and just resting there against her bare skin, but soon turned into Harry kneading teasing, firm motions on her ass. His lips had found their way to the sensitive patch of her neck, sucking and tugging the area lazily, but still intense enough to mark her up. 

“Angel,” Harry beckoned when he was able to pull his lips away from her momentarily.

Y/N hummed in response, too intoxicated from the tingling sensation caused by Harry’s tongue mouthing at her throat.

“Sit up f’ me,” Harry demanded, his voice dripping with lust and desire. 

She did as she was told, sitting up so she was still straddling Harry’s chest as she looked down at him. Harry kept a close grip on Y/N’s thighs as he slid further down the couch and his face was now inches away from her core.

“Harry, what’re you-”

“Shh,” Harry’s eyes were blown out and glassy as he switched from looking into her eyes and the damp patch that was slowly but surely forming at the front of her cotton panties. 

“Just let me love on ye’ for a bit. Come closer t’ me.” 

He tried tugging her thighs so that she’d sit down a bit more against him, but she tensed up.

“But I don’t want to-”

“Ye’ not gonna crush me or wha’ever it is that ye’ worried about.”

“I might,” she mumbled to herself.

Her self-depreciation caused Harry to nip the inside of her bare thigh with his teeth, which made her jerk in response.

“Hey!” she scolded.

Harry took advantage of her moment of disorientation and kissed her heat over the front of her panties so that he could taste the juices that had accumulated there. Her chuckles quickly died down into moans when she felt the beginnings of his stubble graze the part of her body where she’d always needed Harry the most. 

“Ye’ gonna listen t’ me now, pet?” Harry asked as he replaced his lips with his thumb, where he began rubbing tantalizingly slow circles against her clothed clit.

“Mhmmm,” Y/N mewled.

“Though so,” Harry finished off with his infamous cheeky smirk.

She settled down properly onto Harry’s face, hovering just over his plump, shining lips until he was ready to taste her again. When he pulled her panties to the side and latched onto her dripping, wet core, she sank even further down against Harry’s tongue, eager to feel him in every possible nook and cranny that he could reach. He drank from her like he’d never wanted anything else in his all of his days.

Y/N had no doubt in her mind that at this moment, Harry was being honest when he said that she was the only person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

[bedtimebrain]

EXO Chanyeol: Oppa?

First Chanyeol Scenario! And have you heard his ‘Without You’ ? Damn it got me stunned when i listened, i didnt know it was going to be the one by Mariah Carey. I mean ofc chanyeol doesn’t speak perfect English but what can get more attractive than him playing the electric guitar😭 His film’s gna be released globally soon, wish him the best! 

Also I took so long to write this, that by the time i’m done, he has enlisted:,) Sigh, Chanyeol, see you the 27th of every month!

Characters: Chanyeol x reader

You caught Chanyeol’s attention, but… You’re not so into rowdy guys. How will it turn out?

Ding Dong!

You were outside EXO’s dorm with a bottle of Cola. You didn’t really know EXO, in fact you only actually knew Jongin. The story goes where one night you saw a really sick man swaying side to side along the streets. Being the nice and kind soul you were, you went up to help. And that person turns out to be jongin, which at that point you didn’t know was an EXO member until much later when your friend showed you an EXO poster.

You helped him to the apartment building and you left your number with him out of worry because he insisted he head up alone. After that you guys somewhat became friends. And ever since you knew he was a celebrity, you occasionally ran errands for him just to save him some trouble.

‘Annyeong y/n! Thanks for buying the cola!’

‘Sure Jongin oppa! I’ll be leaving then !’

‘WAIT!!!’

Just as you were about to leave, a shout came from inside the house 

‘Annyeong Jongin Chingu! Are you free? Wanna join us? I wanted to play a 2v2 switch game but we are short of 1 person. THERE’S PIZZA HERE TOO, ARE YOU INTERESTED?!’

Honestly, you haven’t even spoken once with chanyeol but here he is, trying to aggressively convince you to play games together. Not exactly an extrovert yourself, that overpowering energy was quite a turn off for you. You raised a brow at Jongin, trying to ask him to get you out of this situation

‘Erm.. Actually, i...’ In your mind ran a 1000 different thoughts on what’s the best way to politely reject this but you just couldn’t think of any, just then jongin finally cut in, only to say

‘Yeh come join us! It’s going to be fun, plus I’m sure you haven’t eaten dinner too’

Although you were a still a little reluctant, you relented for the sake of Jongin and entered the house. Seeing Sehun was also in the house, you both greeted each other politely and you proceed to sit quietly by the dining table. 

‘LET’S EAT QUICK CANT WAIT TO TRY THE NEW GAME’ Chanyeol just sounded overly excited about this. 

Over dinner, Chanyeol in particular was really friendly with you, probably just trying to make you feel comfortable as he tried to get to know you. But after a while, the conversation floats back to him talking about himself. You weren’t complaining though.

‘Okay so that day..’ Chanyeol begun his 5th or 6th anecdote during the dinner but couldn’t stop laughing before he could even get started on it.

He was laughing so hard he started hitting jongin beside him and his exaggerated movements actually hit the table so hard it toppled your coke glass over onto you

‘oh my gawd!’ you reacted in reflex and got up immediately from your chair.

‘HYUNG! SERIOUSLY?!’ Jongin reacted with shock then laughter. He quickly passed you some tissue 

‘Let’s just clean up right now and start the games’ Sehun added calmly 

‘Y/N I’M SO SORRY. LET ME GET YOU SOMETHING TO CHANGE INTO, IM SO SORRY’ 

You could tell Chanyeol was really feeling sorry when you saw that panic in his eyes when the coke spilled. Though it’s really weird to be wearing some other guy’s clothes when you just knew him for hours, you couldn’t be possibly telling him you would only wear jongin’s and not his... So you followed him to grab something to change into 

Stepping into his room you can’t help but get abit wide eyed. His room was almost like what you would imagine a musician’s to be. Guitar, piano, bass, iMac, subwoofer etc. You were so amazed you couldn’t stop glancing around as he tries to uncover some clothes from the depths of his cabinet.

Finally finding it, chanyeol turned around and caught how your face literally wrote ‘amazement’,  he couldn’t help but laughed beneath his breath before handing a sweater to you.

‘Why do you look so amazed? Your expression made it look like you just walked into a museum.’ Chanyeol asked

You felt embarrassed from his question and was absolutely tongue tied. Looking towards the corner of the room you caught sight of a basketball and a miniature basketball hoop. You quickly switched the topic

‘um you play basketball too?’

‘Yes I do! Like in my free time, once in a while. Outdoor activities keep me sane when I feel like I need a break, apart from jamming of course, as you can see. Why, do u play too?’

‘Oh I see, haha. And yes I play basketball too.’

‘I wasn’t expecting that! You really dont look like it though! What’s...’ before he could finish his sentence, jongin came into the room to check on you.

Breaking off that small talk with chanyeol, you changed out of your dirty top into the sweater. Sigh, the game hasn’t even started but you were almost already drained. 

—-

2 hours into the game, you were getting really really sucked out of energy. Looking at chanyeol still so engrossed in the game, you wonder how could he still remain so fired up.

Just then the bell rang and the boys looked at each other, 

‘Who’s that? Any of you got delivery ?’ Sehun asked as he walked towards the door. Looking through the peek hole before opening the door.

‘Ah Suho Hyung, why did you not open the door on your own’ Sehun asked

‘I left them in the car, too lazy to grab it. Oh, hi y/n, what you doing here?’

Feeling really tired now, your honesty got the better of you and you replied without thinking 

‘Hi Suho-ssi, I got called to play some games, but now i’m stuck here’

‘Ya, you punks , it’s really late now you know. It’s way past 1030, Y/N still needs to walk home. Just shut off the game right now.

And Chanyeol didn’t you say you were meeting your high school friends tonight?’

At this Chanyeol loudly cursed then exclaimed

‘AH RIGHT I FORGOT! I GOT TO GET CHANGED NOW’ 

Phew, Suho surely is a life savior. More than happy to be out of this situation, you quickly packed your stuff and thanked the boys

‘I’ll be leaving, thanks for having me today and the free pizza.I had fun. Jong-in oppa please tell Chanyeol ssi i’ll wash his sweater before returning to him.’

At the same time chanyeol came out from his room hastily,

‘Y/N wait for me! Let’s leave together!’

You would have preferred having some quiet time by yourself right now, but you didn’t want to make things awkward by saying no. Seeing how Chanyeol got comfortable with people so quickly was beyond your understanding.

You were always took really long to warm up to new people unless you could really click with them, just like jongin.

‘Ah thanks for waiting, let’s go! Where do you stay? Is it near?’

Trying your best at a comfortable and casual tone, you replied ‘Uh yes it’s just about 5 to 10 minutes away if I walk. Where you going to?’

‘Oh just meeting my friends for supper. Let me walk you home since it’s not too far, anyway my friends are still on the way

So you were saying you play basketball do u watch nba or something ? What position do you play’ Chanyeol naturally strike a conversation with you

‘I DONT really follow, but yeh I check out the highlights and stuff. I play the Center position’

‘SERIOUS?! YOU’RE NOT VERY BUILT FOR A CENTER!’ You must be really good then!’ Chanyeol seemed to genuinely be amazed 

Chuckling a little, you just shrugged and said

‘Erm yeh but the coach just thinks I’m pretty tough I guess.’

‘Oh and i heard from jong-in you didn’t know EXO until recently, so what music do you like ?’

Feeling a little self conscious about the fact that a musician is here asking you bout your music taste, you answered hesitantly

‘ R&B, acoustics, ballads , those sort? Ed Sheeren , AKMU and some other English oldies’

‘Then do you know ‘Without you’ by Mariah Cary? I’ve been listening to it lately and it’s been stuck in my head!’

Laughing at how random that was, you softly started singing along with him as he started. 

At this hour of the day, at about 11 pm your mind isn’t too functional to overthink, you felt like you were loosening up towards him. Though he was a little too over enthusiastic and animated, you somehow liked that he seemed to have this innocence to him.

Just as your short jam ended, you have also reached your apartment

‘I’ve reached! Thanks for walking me back. Bye, drive safely later!’

You flashed a smile, bowed politely and was ready to head in, but chanyeol actually called out before you could head off

‘y/n! Wanna exchange numbers? We could go shoot some hoops at arcade someday or just ball.’

You were not too keen actually, wanting to just keep your relationship with him as simply acquaintances.  Thinking bout how to put the rejection across nicely , you said

‘Oh, thanks for offering. But I’m really not a night person . And you know, you guys being EXO and got to be stealthy , everything goes on at night. Really not my thing though, I don’t think we can ever match a time.’

But turns out he was more insistent than you thought

‘Oh then I could invite you for games or a jam session ! I wouldn’t say we have exactly similar tastes in music but I do like the music you listen to and you sound great singing!’

That made you blush a little , partly embarrassment partly being shy at his straightforward words.

‘It’s fine chanyeol-ssi, I’ll just see you at your dorm when I pass by to see Jongin oppa and return your sweater. Bye’

—-

For the next 2 weeks, you somehow got more frequent calls from Jongin to run errands for him. But when you turned up at their dorms and Chanyeol was in, he would either be the one to get the door or be inviting you in for whatever they were doing. 

Today afternoon, you were over at their dorms again, but just with jongin and chanyeol. You had bought tteokbokki and corndog for yourself and decided to buy some for EXO too, but turns out it was just the 2 that were in. 

‘ah, y/n thanks for the food. i’m going to change and leave for dance practice soon’ 

‘you’re welcome jongin oppa, i’ll leave soon too’

just as jongin headed to the room, chanyeol took the chance to ask

‘y/n are you free? Do you want to hangout together instead? Since i’m free today and you’re already here.’ Chanyeol asked expectantly. 

You were already much more comfortable with him, but together in the house? You wouldn’t even with Jongin.

‘Erm, Chanyeol-ssi, it’s okay. I’m not too comfortable staying in the house with another guy ..’ you said it hesitantly, feeling a little bad for rejecting him. 

‘Oh actually, I meant to head out, there’s this place which I thought both of us will like’

oh shucks, that was embarrassing. In an attempt to cover up your embarrassment, you laughed abit harder than you should and agreed more enthusiastic than you would normally

‘OH ! HAHA! Ok, sure then let’s go!’

Almost instantly, you saw Chanyeol’s eyes brighten up. He got up immediately got changed and you both headed out.

—

In the car ride, you finally calmed your senses down and became sane enough to realise

‘Chanyeol-ssi it’s still pretty early right? Wouldn’t you heading out with me like this be really dangerous?’

Stopping his incessant rap and singing ever since you got in his car, he replied

‘There’s this arcade I used to go to when I was a student. It’s really old now and no one really goes there anymore. It closes around 5pm everyday , but I know the boss! I’m gonna ask him to just let us use the place for a short while’

With one hand on the steering wheel, he looked at you and was bubbling with excitement as he explained. You laughed seeing how excited he was, somehow also making you look forward to the fun to come.

Being really chatty as usual, he spoke the whole ride about anything and everything, slowly without even knowing, you dozed off.

The next moment you woke up, the sun was already starting to set and you’ve both reached the arcade, which was on the second floor along a shophouse street.

It looked so rundown and shady from the outside. The signboard was unlit and had completely yellowed. The window panes were blue tainted and so dusty you could see the dust from the streets.

‘Chanyeol Ssi are you sure about this? Please don’t bring me to a haunted house’

‘Ya, trust me, you’ll be surprised’

Together you headed towards the dark staircase that led you guys to the arcade. You struggled to catch up with his pace as he went up the stairs. The narrow and unlit staircase made you so jumpy that when the lights suddenly came on, you quickly latched your hand onto chanyeol’s sleeves without thinking.

Laughing at how scared you were, chanyeol slowed down his pace, walking side by side with you instead.

‘Why you so scared! We’re reaching soon, don’t worry, it’s hella cool place!’

Not really having the capacity to respond now, you continued holding on to his sleeves until you reached the end of the stairs.

Letting go, you awkwardly said thanks and entered the arcade, finding that it was certainly better than you thought but not fantastic.

‘Lee Soo Hyung! I brought my friend here today , could you let us use for about an hour + after you close?’

‘Chanyeol ah! It’s been a while! After all these years I finally see you with a girl. Hello Agassi, why did you come here with him? Be careful he doesn’t slaughter you like how he does when he plays games with his friends’

Not knowing to whether tears of joy or sadness would fit this situation, you raised your brows at chanyeol.

‘Alright I’ll leave this place to you guys, I’ll be back in about 2 hours after I eat and run my errands’

-

2 hours passed by in a flash. And you sure had lots of fun, shooting hoops, playing Daytona, Mario kart , and even challenging him to dance on pump it up. All of which u lost rather miserably cause you were just horrendous at games.

As you both left the arcade, you thought back in realisation that you didn’t see that annoying over competitiveness today in him today. Instead it felt Chanyeol wanted to make it fun for the both of you rather than winning you.

Internally feeling a little touched about this, you thought to subtly show your gratitude by treating him later.

Walking out of the stairs to the streets, you saw Baskin Robbins just right across, below a dancing school.

‘Chanyeol ssi! Let me buy you ice cream ok! Let’s cross the road to Baskin Robbins’

‘Haha, y/n why the sudden treat? I’m not complaining though, I want Choco mint in a cone’

You went into the shop and placed the order for the ice cream. But when you came out, there was a commotion right outside the shop and realised chanyeol was in ‘trouble’. 

You panicked internally , where did the fangirls come from? They all surrounded chanyeol and were squealing and asking for pictures.

You headed back into baskin Robbins, not too sure what you should do. It’s not going to turn out well if he is seen with you.. Should you head off first? Or should you help him?

With one hand holding on nervously to the ice cream you looked intently at the situation outside, with a total mind blank.

Only about 15minutes later, you saw chanyeol managed to escape back to his car as the crowd in this secluded area eventually died down.

You didn’t head out to find him, worried that if any Fangirls were left, you would land him in trouble.

You stayed at in the shop, looking at the melted ice cream you bought for him, should you just dump this away? Do you head off yourself soon?

Just then a call came in

‘Y/N! Where are you? I’m so sorry I got caught by those dance school girls. Are you alright ? Where did you go ? In case you’re wondering, i got your number from jongin to contact you’

‘Chanyeol -ssi...? Are u ok? I’m just waiting at baskin robbins .. just head home without me, I’ll just find my way back..’ feeling still at loss about the situation, you replied with a heavy heart

‘Ah, no, just head down to the alley behind I’ll pick you up from there. This place is too secluded , I’m not going to leave you here alone’

‘But ..’

‘Just meet me there’

Feeling down and guilty that this was kind of your fault. You walked mindlessly to the alley with the half melted ice cream. If it were not for you, chanyeol wouldn’t even be heading out in the afternoon right?

As you entered the car, you kept quiet not really knowing what to say. But Chanyeol started apologising repeatedly, and telling you about the whole situation earlier

But all that ran through your mind was how risky the situation was and how bad you felt. You were still quite in shock as you processed that just happened

‘Chanyeol ssi, why did you bring me out today? Seeing that made me realise the severity of how dangerous it could have been for you if you were caught together with me.. and I can’t help but feel it’s my fault you got surrounded by those fan girls..’

Pausing before continuing, you added

‘Let’s never do this again. I’m really sorry’

‘Don’t be sorry, i am not even blaming you or anything! Plus i was the one who wanted us to hang outside together. I knew this might happen, but i still wanted to have fun with you’

‘Why Chanyeol-ssi?’

Without thinking, he answered almost immediately 

‘Because i just find you cute’ 

You blanked out completely as those words, you could feel blood rushing through your cheeks. 

You started externally processing your thoughts out of nervousness and panic

‘i know this sounds ridiculous but are you like interested in me? i know i am blushing like mad right now but im not really into loud guys. and though i had lots of fun with you just now i think you should just give up if you are even thinking of anything’ you went on rambling not even knowing what in the world you just said

He looked at you seeming to have something to say. But then looked at the messy ice cream and decided to reached for it instead.

‘thank you for this ice cream, and y/n whatever you said…honestly, can i just have 1 thing from you?’

‘uh what is it?’

‘can you just call me Chanyeol Oppa instead?’

Your heart skipped a beat at what he said and you could feel his gaze was still on you.

After a few moments of silence that hung heavy in the air, you shyly and softly asked

‘Chanyeol oppa shall we go back now?’

Still feeling shy to look at him, you stole a glance at the rear view mirror and saw Chanyeol smile the widest smile you have ever seen since you guys met. 

Finishing off the ice cream, he started the engine, ready to drive off. But before stepping the accelerator, he looked up at the rear view mirror and you both caught each other’s eyes and both looked away almost immediately smiling shyly when your eyes met briefly. 

As the car speeded off, you kept your eyes on the side view mirror, and you were glad you weren’t the only one smiling like an idiot the whole ride back. 

Was this a little boring? I read through it multiple times and can’t really tell anymore. i hope it was fun for you guys who read it for the first time~ though i must admit if i read a fanfic with such an ending i might feel lowkey unsatisfied :p

[lizacstuff]

Edser/SCK anon asks (36 spec)

I accidentally deleted an ask that was interesting, if you don’t see yours here, resend it!

(Asks below the cut)

Anonymous said: Do you think that scene of Eda confronting Selin about it is the end of the episode? I'm so drained, Liza. When will this suffering end?

Oh honey, we have SUFFERED. We have. No doubt about it, but I’ll talk more about that in a minute. (We can overcome) 

First the fragman, could it be the end of the episode? I suppose so. It’s no fun thinking that it might be the cliffhanger and we have to live with that for 11 days instead of 4, but here’s the interesting thing, according to people who look closely at these things, the outfit Eda was wearing when confronting Selin, Hande was wearing that today while filming at Art Life. We also know that at Art Life the set was dressed for some sort of party or event. An event that had the word ‘love’ on the table. So which comes first? The confrontation with Selin or the Art Life scenes that do not include Deniz or Selin?? I don’t know.  The other wild card factor is Bige’s availability. I’m sure most people have heard by now that, sadly, her father passed away this week. This show does not work on a timeline where they can wait.  So they might have had to write her out of a few scenes already in this episode, and it’s unknown what her availability will be for next episode. That could end up changing things a bit, so we’ll see.  Maybe there will be a second fragman that gives us more context.

Now back to feeling drained by this storyline. I get you. I feel you. But here’s how you shake if off. Boil it down for yourself. Why do you continue to watch this show? I’m going to guess it’s for the same reason I continue to watch this show.  Edser. Eda and Serkan are still magic together in every single scene, and Hande and Kerem’s chemistry can turn even the most turgid, ill-advised story or scene into gold. They are worth watching whether they are looking into each other’s eyes or reading the phone book.  

So... my advice is to emotionally distance yourself from the plot. The plot is just the device to keep these two actors on screen together playing these two characters. And that sentence is truer for this show than for any other show I’ve ever watched (and I’ve watched A LOT of shows.) It’s all about these two characters and these two actors. So ultimately the plot doesn’t matter. Let the plot go. There is nothing to worry about, Edser is endgame, Edser is the reason this show exists, they are all the matters on this show. So knowing that, just enjoy their individual scenes, appreciate them for what they are and don’t tie yourself into knots over the nonsense these hack writers throw at us. It will all be fine in the end. 

Anonymous said: I kinda find it funny that what Erdem suggested turned out to be the way Serkan got his memory back. It was a scene fit for a romcom. Obviously it wasn't how I pictured him to remember but at this point I'll take it. Lol! Erdem should be a fortune teller or something!

You’re right. Erdem was on the right track. It would have been funnier if Erdem had hit him to get his memory back and once it worked, then Engin could have held Serkan down, while Erdem continued to bonk him in the head to bring back more memories.

Anonymous said: i totally feel the mixed feelings with the fragman, but it seems like its an ep with great edser moments where they're together and trying to solve this problem, at the same time they just couldn't keep the drama out of the fragman this time?! at a time where everyone is relieved and positive for the first time in weeks?! just seems like a bad move by the production imo and i'm not even that concerned with the plot like others are. another anon said this, but there is def selin fatigue

Selin fatigue is real!!!! But to be honest I was in Selin fatigue by ep 29. And it’s just gotten worse episode by episode. (though we had a bit of a reprieve from her in 34-35) but the fragman brought the fatigue back with a vengeance. The producer has tweeted before about how the show has to have drama, so, I guess that’s where we are. Drama. They think this is what sells, I guess?

They produce those fragman’s with the Fox viewer in Turkey in mind. So perhaps that’s the kind of tease that works well there? I have no idea. Honestly, I think they’re not worried about online fans and international fans because they know we’re so invested that we won’t give up. 

Anonymous said: Normally i would also calm down with the pregnancy thing, it’s probably selin’s last desperate attempt at keeping serkan BUT you know why it scares me? Because they’ll probably introduce the “Kemal is Serkan’s biological father” storyline and I hope that it’s not correlated to selin’s fake pregnancy...like, Serkan would never leave Eda but this Kemal thing will probably remind him how he never had a real father growing up so i hope this doesn’t push him to be by Selin’s side. However, it’s also true that I really don’t think that he and Selin had s*x so I also don’t think they can follow this path. I’m so confused I think we just need to wait and see haha

Yes, we need to wait and see. I see no reason to go down this speculation path unless we’re forced to, because it seems very unlikely to me. Clear it from your mind, and then, if the worst happens, we’ll deal with it then, not now. 

Anonymous said: Idk if u follow sck news on twitter but they posted pics/vids from set today in the office and it looks like a party with food and a sign that says “better together”. Someone commented a theory that serkan will orchestrate a surprise engagement party for eda while she talks to Selin and the ep will end with her turning down the proposal bc Selin is “pregnant” and then we have to wait for the next ep for serkan to tell her it’s not possible 🤡🤡 what do u think?

Yep, I follow sck news, who doesn’t? ;) I think this speculation is plausible, and as long as she’s upfront with Serkan about why and Serkan is able to shut it down immediately next ep, then I can live with this as a cliffhanger. 

Anonymous said: Part 1. You mentioned in a previous ask how Engin didn't tell Eda that Serkan remembered everything when he made it in time for the wedding. Honestly his lack of action was not surprising, upsetting or disappointing. That's just who Engin is. He's a talker, not a doer. Engin is Serkan's friend similar to how Ceren and Fifi are Eda's friends (I'm talking pre amnesia plot). They care about their friend's happiness. Engin has always talked reason to Serkan especially about his feelings for Eda.

Part 2. But Engin's reason for doing that is Serkan's happiness. Of course he wants Eda's happiness but mostly only because it's tied to Serkan's happiness. He has stood up for Eda before like when Serkan accused her of working with Kaan or when he said she deserves to know the truth about her parents death, but whatever Serkan says goes. He never acts in opposition to him. So if Serkan says he won't stop the wedding, Engin isn't going to do anything despite believing Eda should know the truth.

Here’s the problem with this, it’s not just him not caring about Eda. It’s him not caring about Serkan. He should have done it for Serkan, knowing that Serkan would regret his inaction the rest of his life.  It costs him nothing to tell Eda at that moment and let her make the decision. 

That’s one of my biggest problems with this cockamamie plot. From the first Fragman of 29, I said it was impossible that Selin could have hidden him away and rekindled her relationship with him because the other character wouldn’t allow it. Oh but they did. This storyline ruined pretty much every single supporting character, (outside of Melo) because otherwise, if they would have acted in-character or even like normal humans, it never would have worked. And that continued all the way up to this stupid fake/real wedding.  Writers... if you have to ruin every supporting character to bend and twist and make it so your antagonist isn’t immediately jailed or carted away to a mental hospital, that is a sign that it doesn’t work and you need to go back to the drawing board. 

Anonymous said: I have to say, they really do well with the casting on SCK. Especially when they want actors who look like they are related. Eda and her grandmother looked like they were related. It was great casting. Now Serkan and the new character look like they could be related. They have similar features. If the point is for us to speculate that they are father and son, I think they did a good job.

Yes, they really do. I’ve also always thought that Neslihan looks like she could be Kerem’s mother, they have the same coloring. Evrim looks like she could be related to Hande.  They have done a great job with that. 

Anonymous said: That fragman for ep 36...part of me wants to hope that it will all be solved pretty soon, since we got edser separated for so long we deserved them together now. But part of me also knows these writers suck so I’m expecting the worst. I just wanted edser together again 😭

You and me both, babe.  You and me both. 

In the meantime, lets remember to enjoy this show while it lasts. And if we can’t enjoy the plot, as I said above, let’s think about the things we can enjoy.  So if in this episode there are a dozen great Edser scenes and then one that rips out our hearts... let’s concentrate on the dozen, okay? The one that rips out our hearts will resolve itself soon enough. 

[crash-cinematic-universe]

Abed Nadir and his need to count the seconds

pairing: abed nadir/troy barnes (it’s Light but I wrote it with the intent for trobed)

summary: Abed Nadir hates being alone in general, so when his friends disappear and leave him alone in a sea of job-seeking students he struggles to keep his head above water. 

request:  okay wait ur abed headcanons got me thinking. abed angst. kings gotta have abandonment issues cuz of his parents YES I'm projecting a little bit. u don't have to do this if it makes u too sad tho - @ghost-butch

warnings: abandonment issues, anxiety attacks, s/h (kinda; in the form of clenching ur fists too hard)

notes: writing abed angst makes me sad ): why did i do this to him he deserves better. also im about to punch evil abed in the face ):< just over 2k words with this one so thats Cool also its midnight and i have school tomorrow arent i epic and cool. 

taglist: @simonsbluee

  _____________

            Fifteen minutes and twenty-two seconds. Abed had been lost for fifteen minutes and twenty-two second. Abed’s eyes were trained on the clock hanging on the wall, each tick of the second hand amplified in his head to a piercing shout. Everything was bigger; the lights were blindingly bright and his clothes felt as if they were clawing at his skin. With each passing second Abed became increasingly worried, his breath getting shallower and shallower with each rise of his chest. His eyes returned to the clock on the wall, his stomach jumping at the reading-- sixteen minutes and fourteen seconds.

            The study group had promised Abed they’d accompany him to the job fair. They promised they’d be by his side the entire time; Abed didn’t do well alone in large crowds, especially in new environments. He’d gotten distracted by an engineering booth in the corner with a large lego replica of the millennium falcon hanging in the corner. He looked away from his friends for no more than thirteen seconds, but in those thirteen seconds, they disappeared in the sea of students and booths and interns. Thus, leaving Abed completely alone in a mass of strangers in a building that he’d never seen before. 

            His anxiety had built up with every minute he was lost. It was gradual; he started with the initial panic, followed by frantic searching for familiar faces in the crowd. It wasn’t long after that when his heart rate began to pick up, and within minutes his skin felt as if it was on fire. Abed couldn’t really pinpoint exactly when he’d begun to shuffle backwards out of the large venue the job fair was held in. Before he knew it, he was at the end of a dimly lit hallway, completely alone. He slunk to the floor and pulled his knees to his chest.

            They’ll look for me, he thought. They’re probably looking for me now. Abed reached into his pocket for his cellphone before he realized he’d left it with Troy. The emptiness of his pocket felt endless, his hand tingling where the fabric of his shorts met his skin. The familiar whine that Abed let out when he became overwhelmed filled the empty hallway, the tone only making his anxiety worse. He cursed himself for not thinking ahead-- he’d left all of his fidget toys and putty in his messenger bag which he also left with Troy. 

            It was then that a tiny voice in the back of his head spoke up-- maybe they left, it called. Abed shook his head, but the voice persisted. They left you. They’re gone, and no one is coming for you. A familiar figure materialized in the vast shadows at the other end of the hallway; Evil Abed smirked at him from where he stood.

            “They’re gone,” He repeated. “They were waiting for something to draw you away for them so they could slip away,”

            “That’s not true.” Abed’s fingers absentmindedly dug into his palm. “They wouldn’t do that-- Troy wouldn’t do that. Jeff and Britta, maybe, but not Troy. Not Annie.” Truthfully, Abed didn’t believe that Jeff or Britta would leave, but he wasn’t thinking clearly in the moment.

            “Riddle me this, Abed, who does Troy respect more: you or Jeff? Who does he think is cooler? Who does he idolize more?” Evil Abed’s voice was smug and cruel. It felt as if his words were burrowing through his brain and fogging up his thoughts. “Sure, Troy might tolerate you, but he worships Jeff. If Jeff wanted to leave, then surely Britta and Annie would tag along. It’s inevitable that Troy would join them, isn’t it?” Abed shut his eyes tightly, but that didn’t do much to ward off his evil counterpart.

            A film played behind Abed’s eyelids, the poetic irony of his worst fears being portrayed through his favorite thing making his heart ache. There they were: Jeff, Britta, Troy, Annie, all standing in a tight group as Abed wandered off. Their expressions and movements were exaggerated, but Abed didn’t care. He just sat and watched as the scene unfolded.

            “God, I can’t believe he roped us into this,” Jeff groaned, his hands gripping his cellphone as if someone were going to take it from him. “What kind of loser can’t go to a damn fair by himself? I could have a hot redhead hanging on my arm at a sports bar and instead I’m babysitting a twenty-five-year-old.”

            “C’mon Jeff, we’re here for Abed. God knows if he came here alone he’d probably drive everyone here crazy with his “Inspector Spacetime” BS.” Britta chimed in, a tired tone in her voice. Annie looked antsy as always, while Troy looked unsure. Abed wasn’t sure of what, exactly. 

            Slowly, Abed  wandered a few feet away from the group. Jeff’s face lit up the same way it does when he sees an attractive student in the hallways. A borderline cartoon-ish grin grew on his face as he pulled the group tighter.

            “Hey, Abed’s gone. Let’s take this window and get the hell out of here while the cat is distracted by the lazer,” He chuckled. Britta smiled and nodded, quickly grabbing Annie’s hand in an attempt to pull her out. The three of them made their way to the exit, leaving Troy alone. He turned around to glance at Abed before rolling his eyes and running after Jeff. Abed was alone.

            The image faded away, and to Abed’s surprise, Evil Abed faded away with it. For a split second, Abed was disappointed. He really, really, really didn’t want to be alone-- even if his only companion was an evil version of himself. A minute passes before Abed realizes he was crying, that revelation followed by the realization that his fingernails dug into his palm so hard he broke the skin. His tears blurred his vision and made his surrounding seem much smaller, much darker, much lonelier. His eyes no longer portrayed a dim hallway. Instead, Abed saw the same tiny locker he was locked in so often as a teenager.  He could smell the rusted metal of the locker hinges. He could feel the chipped paint rubbing against his skin. He couldn’t breathe. Abed couldn’t breathe-- the entire world was closing in on him. He was cold and alone and no one was coming for him. His friends left him and they weren’t coming back. Everyone who he cares about leaves him, why would they be any different? He watched the world pass by through the tiny slits in the door before his eyes screwed shut again as he choked on air.

            He was in agony. His entire body shook and his heart pounded so hard he felt as if it were going to burst. Abed wanted to go home, he wanted to be back at Greendale with Troy and the rest of his friends but he was trapped. His arms began to cramp up from how hard he had tensed, his knuckles a pale white from how tightly he was clenching his fists. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t speak or sob or scream; he was stuck. Locked away. The outside world faded away as Abed retreated into his mind. He tried to hide away in his head forever until a janitor stumbled upon his frozen shell of a body tomorrow morning. There was an echoing sound, however, that kept drawing him from the abyss of his brain.

            Footsteps. He could hear footsteps. Abed couldn’t tell whether or not they were real, but he could guess who’s footsteps they were. They were frantic and uneven-- they had the potential to be rhythmic, but the walker was urgent. Worried. The biggest identifying factor, though, was the quiet sound of plastic aglets on the tile floor; their shoes were untied. Abed smiled weakly as he recalled the fact that Troy almost never had his shoes tied. A glimmer of hope shone through the small slits in the locker door as the footsteps grew closer.

            “Abed?” Troy’s voice cut through the silence in the hallway. He turned the corner and froze as his eyes landed on his friend. “Abed? God, there you are! You scared me half to death, and Jeff was already boring me to death with his lame lawyer stories, so now I’m only, like, a fourth away from death!”

            Abed didn’t reply. He couldn’t-- he still didn’t know if Troy was real or just another image. He was still locked away, after all. Troy could tell something was wrong; Abed’s eyes had glazed over and he looked like he’d seen a ghost. Troy hurried over, his eyes frantically assessing the situation at hand. He saw the blood on Abed’s palms and his stomach lurched. 

            “Hey, Abed, are you alright?” Troy asked softly. “Did something happen?” Abed did not reply, instead releasing a small, high-pitched whine. Everything was foggy-- it was all too foggy for Abed to know whether or not he was simply envisioning this angel of a human.

            “Alright, uh, I’m going to touch your wrist. Is that alright?” Abed hesitated before nodding ever-so-slightly.

            Gently, Troy wrapped his hand around Abed’s wrist. The contact was startling, but not unwelcome. Abed was becoming more and more sure that this Troy was real. The tight locker melted away to reveal the same dark hallway; his anxiety was eased a bit,but he still couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that settled over him. He glanced at the clock once again-- he was alone for thirty-two minutes and forty-seven seconds in total. 

            “I’m sorry I lost you,” Troy spoke quietly. His voice was comforting and genuine, his face soft and kind. He didn’t match the Troy that Evil Abed created at all. “I know this place is overwhelming, I’m so sorry. We should’ve been more attentive and more careful, this place is like a maze.” Abed soon realized he was too tired to respond verbally, instead opting to hold Troy’s hand. A silent reassurance was exchanged through their intertwined fingers. Abed’s palms stung a bit, but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. He was just so tired. His muscles were sore and his chest ached and his head pounded. He wanted to go home. 

            “Britta was practically running across the building looking for you, ya know,” Troy said. His hand was still holding Abed’s. “Annie started crying after 10 minutes, and for a second Jeff looked like he was going to cry, too. They were all so worried. I was worried, too. The thought of something bad happening to you was too much to handle.”

            “I know you hate being alone, too. I guess you probably thought we ditched you or something. Jeff thought you ditched us, but I knew that wasn’t true. It doesn’t really matter, though, because I’m here now,” That final phrase echoed in Abed’s mind as he sat beside his friend. “I want you to know that I really care about you. I want-- I need you to know that I would never ever ditch you like that. Not in a million billion years, not even for a million dollars,”

            They sat there for a few more minutes before Annie turned the corner and shouted, sprinting full speed towards the two men at the end of the hallway. Britta and Jeff followed closely after, a wave of relief washing over their faces. They all gushed about their worries and concerns. Annie was quick to tend to the small indents in Abed’s palm, and Jeff and Britta talked about how freaked they were when they realized Abed disappeared. Jeff mentioned stopping by every directing booth in the entire building to see if Abed had landed there-- he even grabbed a few pamphlets for him to flick through later. Finally, Abed gained the energy to stand up, and he walked down the hallway with his friends beside him and Troy’s fingers still laced with him.

            On his way out, Abed glanced at the clock on the wall-- twenty-two minutes and twelve seconds. Abed had been surrounded by his wonderfully chaotic family for the past twenty-two minutes, and he’d never felt more secure.

[eemeelyy]

Request: could u pls do harry x actress reader. So basically harry and y/n started working on a romance movie and they start to fall in love. The movie premire is in italy and harry and y/n spend there time together having fun and swimming in their villa hiding there relationship from the public. fast forward to the award nominations. y/n gets a call at midnight saying she is nominated for best actress at the oscars. Harry is so happy for her. fast forward ti the oscars harry is presenting the award to best actress. y/n is scared that she might not win. But harry calls her name and she gets her oscar. harry and y/n are so happy they share a kiss forgetting that they have a private relationship from the public. The crowd shares ‘awwwwww’ and y/n gives her speach. Later is the after party and all her actor friends congratulate her. Harry and y/n spend the night dancing and kissing - @www-imbored-com

Real-life love interest

I did not take this role because Harry fucking Styles was gonna play my love-interest. I took this role because the script was great. There were so many rom-coms out there. Girl meets boy. Girl and boy fall in love. Something shitty happens so they part ways but it was all a misunderstanding and they find their way back to each other. I would have never taken a role in a generic movie like that. This one had all the ups and downs, characters with a proper personality.

I never even really watched rom-coms. Or romantic dramas while we’re at it. So, who knows, maybe this was a generic film and I just didn’t know because I knew that little about romantic movies. 

The first time I met Harry was at the first table read. He sat on my right and when I sat down he grinned up at me brightly. He waited for me to be seated and smile back at him before he extended his hand. I shook it.

„Hi there. I’m Harry. Big fan“, he smiled, „I’m really happy about this. I mean getting to play your love interest. The (Y/N) (Y/L/N)? Pretty much the only reason I got into acting.“

I chuckled. „You’re joking, right? By the time I started acting you were already an international rockstar.“

„That’s not entirely true, love. You were big when I was a kid. You were the reason I became obsessed with tv. So thanks for ruining my marks back then“, he chuckled to let me know he was joking.

„I’m terribly sorry, sweetie, that must have been so tough for you“, I feigned pity but then went back to smiling brightly, „I took a longer break to get my A-levels. And then I went to uni because I thought I wanted a degree in acting but then I realized I’m better at learning by doing, so here we are.“

„I guess your awards and credentials speak for themselves.“

We both laughed a bit at that and then got to work. The majority of the film was made in a little city in southern Italy. There wasn’t a lot going on there and most of the inhabitants were some older people who had no idea what was going on. It was great getting to work without the entire world getting updates and showing up on set. I stayed in a beautiful little hotel by the coast and, as it turned out, so did Harry. It wasn’t much of a surprise though because there weren’t a lot of other options around. 

The entire hotel was already occupied by just the two of us and some members of the crew who didn’t stay in trailers. We’d spend many evenings and some mornings together before and after we worked. Our schedules were similar so that worked wonderfully. Around two weeks after we started filming we were sitting in the adjacent restaurant by our hotel. We shared a rather large pizza and drank some Lambrusco while we just talked.

„You’ve got to be kidding. You can’t be in a romantic film when you never watched them. And, goodness sake, you can’t say you don’t like them if you’ve never seen them“, he told me with wide eyes.

„I mean I’ve watched some. My mum loves them. But it’s just so cringy. That’s not how relationships happen!“

„So? That’s the point. I picked up all my flirting techniques from those films.“

„Oh, so, that’s why you’re single“, I laughed.

He feigned being hurt before he spoke up again. „Tell you what. We have a late start tomorrow and it’s still early. I’m going to pay this bill now and then I’ll take you up to my room and I’ll show you what’s so great about romantic films.“

„Sounds like a plot line to one of those films“, I chuckled.

He smirked and wiggled his eyebrow before he waved at the waiter to show him he wanted to pay.

„I’m paying tomorrow then, you can’t just keep inviting me or I’ll genuinely start believing I’m stuck in a romance film.“

He winked at me just as he put down the money, including a rather generous tip, and downed the rest of his wine. I did the same to my glass and then we headed back up to his room. Some clothes were scattered on the floor and the bed wasn’t made. The door to the bathroom was slightly open and I could see that it looked pretty clean compared to the main room. Other than that it looked pretty much exactly like mine.

Harry scurried in before you could get too much of an impression though, quickly gathering all of the clothes into his arms and throwing them in the open suitcase before shutting it. He grinned at me awkwardly and taking a hint I excused myself to my room quickly to change into some comfortable clothes and freshen up a bit. When I came back in pajamas, a fluffy robe, slippers and my hair in a messy bun his room looked really presentable and he was wearing an outfit similar to mine, with his hair clipped back and without slippers. 

He had set up his laptop on the coffee table and thrown some blankets and pillows onto the couch. I smiled and sat down.

„I’m going to ease you into this. Let us not start with my favourites“, he told me and put on Sleepless in Seattle.

„That’s my mum’s favourite“, I told him with a smirk.

„See, this would not happen in a film. In a romantic film your mum and I would coincidentally love all the same things that you don’t like and then she’d like me more than you“, he told me and chuckled.

„Oh, good thing we’re not in a film then because if my mum loved you more than me this wouldn’t work out“, I said before realizing what I’d just said, „Not that we would work out, we’re just friends, right? I mean, I guess our characters have great chemistry and so per association so do we but that’s it.“

He interrupted you with a laugh. „You’re acting like a character in the films. Now zip it and listen to the magic of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan falling in love.“

It was just a couple minutes past eleven when the film was over and both of us were pretty tired by the end, subconsciously leaning against one another and yawning. I pushed myself up just as the credits started rolling and stretched a bit.

„Okay, maybe I liked that“, I admitted.

„Maybe tomorrow we should totally watch You’ve Got Mail“, he replied.

We kept that routine up and watched a new romantic film almost every night if we weren’t too tired or had too little time in between shots anyway. We’d been working together for nearly four months when he finally showed me his favourite film The Notebook. I had to admit at that point that I had liked all the films thus far. It was a Saturday evening, nearly ten pm, when we met in his room. The next day we didn’t have any work so we weren’t too worried about sleep.

I fell asleep halfway through the film. Harry was too wrapped up in the film to notice. He never woke me up. Instead I woke up the next morning. It was almost eight and Harry and I were cuddled up on the couch. I didn’t know if he also fell asleep during the film or if he did this intentionally but I got up and stretched before I turned back to him and looked at his adorable sleeping face.

His eyebrows scrunched together and he rolled himself into himself before he stretched back out and blinked his eyes open. „Good morning“, I said quietly when he smiled at me.

„Did you like it?“, he asked.

„I don’t know. I fell asleep, sorry.“

He pouted and rolled back up. „Then I don’t wanna get up until we’ve watched that film entirely and you tell me you’re in love with Ryan Gosling.“

I laughed. „I’m in love with Rachel McAdams. That good, too? She was in that film from the other night. About Time. That was a good one. Or Mean Girls. Or Doctor Strange. Or many other films I can’t think of right now.“

I went to the window and opened it. „Do you hear that, Harry? You can’t ignore the growing desire to jump into the ocean.“

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, listening to the waves below. Then I heard Harry sigh. „I’ll get my swim trunks.“

I smiled brightly and took off to get my own bathing suit. We hurried downstairs and ran into the ocean. It was great. We just swam and splashed around for a few minutes before he dove into the water and came back out right in front of me.

„Have we watched Dirty Dancing?“, he asked.

I giggled. „Yes.“

„Wanna do that?“, he asked and stretched his arms into the air.

„Absolutely not. That didn’t end so well in the film and it won’t end well here. Remember how much practice we needed for the dance scene? No.“

He placed his hands on my waist and pulled me closer. „I have used all the tricks on the screen, (Y/N), help me out here“, he whispered.

I smirked before I lunged at him and wrapped myself around him, smashing my lips against his. „Tell me the plot twist of our story, Harry“, I whispered against his lips.

„We’re past plot twists, love. The plot twist was this.“

I grinned and went back to kissing him.

We spent even more time together after that. The filming was finished two months later and we had to spend a little over one of those back in England. I spent most of that time at Harry’s place. Some of it at my own but our relationship moved pretty quickly. Two weeks after we’d wrapped filming we were back at my apartment, Harry going through my bookshelves as I packed up my clothes. I was going to move into his place since that was where I spent most of my time anyway. When I came out of my walk-in-closet Harry was standing in front of my bedroom window.

„It’s raining“, he said.

„Obviously, darling, we’re in England“, I chuckled.

„But in Italy it only rained one day out of them all“, he pouted, falling onto my stripped bed.

„Have you packed up all the books?“, I asked, flopping down next to him.

I put a hand on his chest and looked up at him. He nodded. „We should go back.“

„To Italy?“, I asked with a playful expression.

„Yeah. We don’t have anywhere to be for the next few months until the premiere. Which is in Italy. So we’ll just go there and wait for the premiere, all in the privacy of some rental home. And then we can go back to our hectic lives in rainy England“, he explained.

I thought about it for a minute. He was right, it did sound heavenly. „Let’s finish this up, okay? And then we can look up a place to stay back there.“

I’d just gotten settled in Harry’s place a week later and now we were packing up again to leave for Italy.

„You still haven’t made it through The Notebook“, he told me on the plane.

„And I probably never will, love, I made it through all the other films. Please give that one up for now. I will still find Ryan Gosling terribly attractive“, I replied.

„No, that was only fine to say before we were an item, darling. Now Ryan Gosling is kinda handsome, at the most. And I am the epitome of attractiveness“, he said, raising his chin with pride.

I laughed. „I can’t agree, that would be poison to your ego. But do know I love you more than Ryan Gosling.“

„Good enough“, he laughed, taking my hand and pressing a kiss to it.

Over the next few weeks we watched more films, we swam, we strolled around and just enjoyed each other’s presence. The day of the premiere came around and we took a train to Rome where it would be happening. We didn’t see each other all day, getting styled and dressed up. 

I wore a pale blue dress that flowed down my body and hugged it in all the right places ending just around my ankles so my white ballerinas were visible. When we finally met on the red carpet I saw Harry wearing a suit in a similar shade (I’m imagining the suit from the Variety shoot). We posed together for a bit, not giving anything away about our relationship and the went to the screening.

After everything had gone amazingly we had to go press touring together. It was only a couple weeks. We didn’t attend a lot of interviews and tried to squeeze them closely together so we could get back home. 

It was three months after the film’s release, early January, when I woke up from my rather light slumber because my phone was vibrating on the bedside table. I picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

„Hello?“, I groaned.

„(Y/N), it’s Doug“, my agent said, „Shit, I’m sorry, it must be the middle of the night over there. But you’Re nominated for an Oscar.“

„I’m- sorry, what?“, I wasn’t quite grasping what he was saying since I was still half asleep.

„You’re nominated for an Oscar, (Y/N), I’ll send you an e-mail with all the details, I just wanted to hear you when you got the news. And I gotta say, this is underwhelming. Anyway, sleep tight, call me back when you’re awake.“

Then he hung up and I went back to sleep almost immediately.

Still, in February, Harry and I went to the Oscars and I had now realized that I was nominated. Even through all his reassurances I wasn’t entirely certain about everything. Would I win? And if I didn’t would I be able to mask my disappointment? Would I feel happy for the winner?

„Fuck, (Y/N), stop worrying. I’m about 98% sure you’ll win. And the other two percent was just me being too nice to not wish the other nominees all the best as well. I have to be unbiased after all. And if - big if - you don’t win, it’ll still be an honour just to be nominated. You’ve been gushing about the others for so long now, even I’m annoyed.“

Harry would be presenting the award which would make it even more awesome to win. We showed up at the ceremony together, posing together, walking together, starting all the rumours without giving anything away again.

Soon, it was time for Harry and Saoirse Ronan to go on stage together and present the award. They talked about the category and the nominees, we were presented, clips were played and then Saoirse opened the envelope.

„And the Oscar goes to…“, she started, before looking at Harry to say the name together.

„(Y/N) (Y/L/N)“

The smile on my face grew and a few tears slipped from my eyes as I made my way to the stage being welcomed into Saoirse’s arms first before Harry bear hugged me so tightly I thought he’d never let me go.

„Wow, thank you, oh my god“, I started, looking at the award in my hand, „I hope we didn’t waste too much of my speech time hugging it out“, I laughed, the audience joining me, „I want to thank so many people so please don’t hate me if I forget you, I can’t hear myself over the beating of my heart. But I want to thank everyone who worked on this film. Patty Jenkins, you most incredible director, first and foremost. I want to thank my mum and dad, they’re great, I wouldn’t be here without them, literally. And Harry, my wonderful on-screen-love-interest, my real-life-love-interest, fuck, I love you so much, this is incredible. They say I should wrap it up now so, uh, thank you, do come up to me and scold me later if I forgot to thank you.“

After that night the internet blew up. I hadn’t even noticed that I’d just come public about our relationship. But as we were dancing the night away we couldn’t care less.

[pretendcnco]

starcrossed - christopher velez

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* :･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ･ﾟ:*

or the long awaited sequel to caminos destructivos

word count: 5.5k

note: currently feeling like this video lmao, but hi, I hope you’re all well, I haven't posted in the actual longest time. I did lose a lot of motivation for many things, writing being one of them but this has been in my drafts for months and I’m lowkey proud of it so I finally decided to post it. I hope y'all enjoy my own overplayed rendition of Romeo and juliet LMAO. im slowly getting back into the mindset of writing so just be patient with me, I do see the unanswered asks and will try my best to work on them but really, no promises. but again, hope u enjoy :)

tags: @ella-se-vuelve-loca @mepuserojito @yatusabess @estoy-enamorado-de-ti @richukisbb @smoljoelito @cnc-oh-boi @esmejha108 @h-bea92 @ericks-mala-actitud@undeadspazzattack @cncoh-damn @itsspelledbyannca@estefania723@cncogirl18 @pizzaspirits @miacha3xl @you-kinda-smell-like-christmas@jessenia-p@KitKat1328 @boundtobreakk @nochillnelly @cnco_bby @prettydamnmuchinlove @maggie-lunax @s4usagee @ericksmamita@wastedearth@ccnicole02 @apla-o-eaytos-mou @cncoaddicted @rosebud213@ruvaitkevicius@lover2448

join my taglist !

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* :･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ･ﾟ:*

From the moment Christopher Velez stepped foot into town, rumours circulated around him. Rumours about his tough looking exterior, the tattoo on his hand, and the reasons as to why he had moved to town. Whispers were heard all around town about him. He didn’t fit in, it was obvious. His dark wardrobe contrasted immensely from the bright apparel most of the town's population donned. He was quiet, never really speaking unless spoken to, trying to make as little impact in his last year of high school as he could.

But that was until he met her.

He knew about her before he officially met her, of course. Most of the trophies in the school's front office held her name, her face adorned the many pictures hung up on the walls. Class president, Model UN, Debate Club, Environmental Rallies, Scholarships, Soccer, Cheer. Everyone knew her name, her face, she was the star student. But what surprised him was that she didn’t have a group of followers mindlessly trailing after her, rather she was always with just one other girl. This intrigued him because she didn’t seem larger than life, like how the school portrayed her, she seemed rather normal. She was humble, at first glance no one would think she was the Y/N L/N that everyone talked about. He supposed that was what intrigued him about her. He questioned how someone so accomplished in her young age could be so humble about it. Maybe because he grew up around people who would always brag about their accomplishments, no matter how horrible they were.

Christopher wouldn’t describe himself as someone who didn’t care about school, but some things presented themselves in his life that made it one of his lowest priorities. He always zoned out when the guidance counselor began talking to him about his future, because she always said the same: he didn’t have one. His grades were inconsistent, as was his attendance, and his test scores were, let’s just say, not the best. He knew he didn’t have a bright future, you didn’t need to tell him, but it wasn’t because he didn’t want one, he so badly did. He wanted to be able to provide for his family in the right way, he wanted to do something meaningful with his life, but ultimately the stars choose a different path for him.

Catching the school- no the town- angel’s attention was not what he had planned to do. He was okay with just watching her from afar, never in a million years believing a girl like her would go for a guy like him. But that night at the party, the night he decided to make his move, waiting to be rejected, he was surprised to find her kissing him back, with as much, if not more, want as he had.

She was intoxicating to say the least. Her innocence excited him, the idea that he knew things she didn’t, that he could teach her those things, excited him.

But the backlash of their relationship was immediate. Her brother was no fan of him, taking every chance he could to let Christopher know how much he didn’t deserve his sister. Chris didn’t take his threats seriously, knowing he could take him easily, but he tried to respect him, he was Y/N’s brother after all.

It was difficult, keeping their relationship discreet, especially when Chris couldn’t keep his hands off of her. Despite what her brother and most of the town believed, Christopher didn’t want Y/N just to sleep with her, to purposefully corrupt her. He wanted her because she was smart, care-free, and kind. Very different from the people he used to hang around back home. He could stay up late on the phone every night because she always had something interesting to talk about, he enjoyed listening to the way she thought, the things she cared about. But he also wasn’t going to deny that she was an amazing kisser, despite her lack of experience.

Christopher didn’t plan on breaking her heart. But he also didn’t plan on having all he ran from be unearthed in this new town. He ran from it for a reason. He looks back now and wishes he could have changed something, anything, to make things better, but in reality he had no idea what. He believed Y/N to be his saving grace, a gift from God in the hopes of turning Christopher’s life around, but now he assumed his actions had caught up to him, and God himself realized Christopher didn’t deserve something as good as Y/N.

ten days until zabdiel’s end of the year party

Christopher’s arm was slung over Y/N’s shoulder as they sat in the front seat of the truck Benito let him borrow. Her legs were tucked under her as she cuddles in close to him, both of them watching the movie being played that night at the drive-in. She lets out a small chuckle at the joke one of the characters say and he glances towards her. The light from the film lights up her face, her lips plastered in a permanent smile. She was so beautiful, he couldn’t believe she was his. And this is what prompts him to lean down and place a kiss on her cheek.

She looks up at him then.

“What was that for?” She questions, eyeing his small smile.

“Nada, you're just so beautiful.”

Her face heats up at his words, compliments from him always making butterflies erupt in her belly.

“Oh, stop.” She says with a small laugh, nervously moving her gaze down. At this, Christopher lets out a small chuckle and places a hand under her chin, lifting her head to meet his gaze. Their eyes meet and Y/N couldn’t help but get lost in them. And then he’s slowly meeting their lips together. She smiles into the kiss as he wraps his arms around her, pulling her onto his lap. His hands settle on the backs of her thighs, her arms wrapping around his neck. He begins trailing kisses down her neck, reveling in the way her eyes flutter shut at his actions. He sucks on the spot under her ear, earning a small gasp from her.

“Chris,” She breathes out, her hands gripping his shoulders at the sensations.

And suddenly, all that is heard is hoots and laughter as small pebbles hit the trucks windows. It was no secret in town that kids came to the drive-in to hook up, and of course there were the dumbasses who made a big deal whenever they saw a couple too close in the car.

Y/N jumps away from Chris, letting out a small laugh as more pebbles hit the car. She glances towards her window and her smile suddenly drops.

“Fuck,” she mutters. Chris eyes her warily as she gets off him and scoots to roll down the window. The boy outside's laughter immediately stops when he sees who the couple in the car was.

“Wait until your brother hears about this.” The boy says, shaking his head. Chris was utterly confused, did they know each other ?

Y/N scowls at the boy outside the window before speaking.

“Fuck off Johann, don’t you have something better to do than be Michael’s lap dog?”

The boy’s, Johann's, eyes widen in shock, mouth popping open at Y/N’s remark. Chris stifles a laugh upon seeing the boys face, and Johann turns to face him.

“You just wait, you don’t fucking belong here and we’ll show you.”

Y/N sticks up her middle finger in the boys face and rolls up the window. She lets out a loud sigh and straightens her shirt.

“I’m sorry about him. My brother and his friends are a pain in the ass, but you already knew.” She tells him and Chris shrugs.

“It’s okay, hermosa.” He tells her, leaning down to peck her cheek. “Let’s get out of here.” He mutters and she nods. Chris sets the car in drive and pulls out of the field, eyes meeting Johanns as he passes, the other boys gaze filled with hate.

Later that night, Chris finds himself looking after the supermarket as Benito had other matters to attend to. Y/N was long asleep at this point and he watches the clock, waiting for midnight to hit. When the clock read 12, he quickly gathers his stuff and heads out. He clicks the lock shut and shoves the key into his jacket pocket before beginning his walk back to Benito’s.

“Christopher.” A voice shakes Chris out of his thoughts and he turns to find the one person he didn’t want to see. Chris sighs heavily as Micheal, Y/N’s brother, jogs over to him.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

“I think I’ve heard enough.” Chris states simply. He heard all the things Micheal said about him, thought about him. They were whispered around town and he caught words as he walked by, he didn’t need to hear more. Christopher turns without another word and walks away, feeling Micheal’s burning stars like a target on his back.

seven days until zabdiel’s end of the year party

“Yo, who would’ve thought Y/N would end up with you?” Richard says with a laugh as he receives the newly rolled blunt from Zabdiel. The rest of the boys chuckle at his words and Chris just smiles, blowing out a puff of smoke from his mouth.

“I don’t even know.” He admits.

“You’re treating her right, right?” Erick asks, taking a sip of his drink. Chris looks up at the younger boy from where he was sitting. He knew Erick saw Y/N as a sister, so of course he was a little protective.

“Of course.” He states and Erick nods. If Y/N was happy, he was happy.

They were all currently chilling at the Camacho family’s mechanic shop, where Richard worked part-time. After hours they all gathered there to smoke and drink, unbeknownst to his father of course.

A knock at the metal garage doors brings all the boys attention to the group of people sauntering into the shop. Richard stands from his seat and quickly hides the blunt in his hand. Zabdiel and Joel fan the air, trying to rid the area of the obvious smell of weed.

“We’re closed, bro.” Richard says to the group of boys walking in.

“Yeah we know.” The tallest boy says, and when they finally step into the light, Christopher quickly sits up. Y/N’s brother and his pack of goons walk towards them, their sights set on him.

“We’re just looking for one person.” Micheal, simply states. Christopher’s jaw clenches as he sits up straighter.

Richard steps in between the two boys.

“Listen, you’re not gonna start this shit here.” The red-haired boy tells Y/N’s brother. “Now I’d really like if you all just turn around and get the fuck out of here.”

“We just wanna talk to him.” Micheal says, pointedly looking at Chris. The other boys turn to face him before looking back at Y/N’s brother and his friends.

“We know you guys don’t want to just talk.” Joel states.

“And if you’re trying to start something, piénsalo otra vez.” Zabdiel speaks up, standing and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Listen, you just let us have a talk with our friend here,” Micheal begins, motioning towards Christopher. “We don’t mean any harm to you guys.”

“Bro, we already told you, get outta here. If you want Christopher, you have us too.”

Now all the boys stood, staring down the other group.

“I suggest you back down Richard, unless you want the whole town knowing Joel passes your drug tests for you.” Richards stare was pure rage, and Joel shifts uncomfortably next to him.

“And you Zabdiel, how about that girl you knocked up last year? How is she doing?” Zabdiel pauses, fists clenched at his sides, not having expected that to come out of his mouth. Christopher watched the scene unfold, knowing exactly where this was going. Despite the small towns shiny exterior, there were heavy secrets lying just below the surface. Christopher’s was one of them. The life he ran from, the reason he moved to a completely new country, the thing he’s been trying to keep hidden for months. Christopher held his breath, just waiting for Micheal to spill his own secrets. His heart was beating so wildly in his chest he couldn’t hear, or didn’t want to hear, the rest of the conversation. Before he knew it, a punch was thrown. Christopher is thrown back into reality at Erick’s shout and he turns to see Johann and Richard in a violent embrace, both boys trying to get the other to back down, however bloody that left them. Somewhere on his left, this same messy dance was started by Zabdiel and another of Micheal’s friends. Joel and Erick watch with wide eyes as Micheal walks towards Christopher. Erick acts first, trying to push Micheal away, but to no avail. And before Chris knew, Micheal’s fist collided with his face. Joel and Erick were on him now, struggling to pry off Micheal from Christopher. Micheal manages to get in another hit before Joel and Erick completely pull him off. Chris was bleeding, he reaches up to wipe the blood from his mouth. His ears are ringing, the blows to the head he received not working in his favor.

“This is the last time I tell you. Stay the fuck away from my sister.” Micheal spits out as Joel and Erick push him away. Christopher looks around to see Zabdiel and Richard panting heavily, Richards eyebrow was split and Zabdiel had a bruise growing on his cheek.

“And the longer you guys protect him, the more likely all your secrets are gonna come out.” Micheal spits onto the ground next to Christopher, blood dripping from the one place Chris managed to land a punch. Without another word, Micheal and his boys depart. Chris and the others watch their figures depart, dark silhouettes against the stores warm yellow lights.

“Fuck,” Richard mutters. “Fuck!” He shouts, kicking a beer can so hard it hits the metal garage doors with a loud bang.

“How did he know about Zabdi? And Richard?” Joel whispers. No one answers, because no one had a clue. But they were all thinking the same, if he knew that, what else did he know?

“I’m sorry.” Chris says. Zabdiel shakes his head. He saunters over to the small refrigerator and tosses Chris a cold beer. Chris places the can on his face, hoping to lessen the swell before he got home, he didn’t want Benito to think he was doing the same things he was doing back in Ecuador.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Zabdiel tells him.

“Si, I don’t think loving a girl is wrong.” Erick mutters, and a silent agreement is shared throughout the room.

Chris leaves the shop that night with guilt hanging heavy on his mind. He apologized again and again to the boys, but they kept telling him it was okay. But it wasn’t, it wasn’t okay.

As he begins his walk back home, his phone pings. He hoped it was a message from Y/N, she was the only person that could cheer him up in an instant. But as he unlocked his phone, he saw the message wasn’t from Y/N, rather from an unknown number. He eyes his phone warily as he clicks on the message. There were pictures, pictures of Christopher. His throat instantly felt dry and he looked around him, a shiver running down his spine as he eyes the dark expanse behind him. He turns his attention back to his phone to examine the photos. They were pictures that didn’t put Chris in a very good looking position. Goosebumps erupt on his arms, and it wasn’t because of the cold. A message pops on his phone.

Unknown: leave her or this will be released.

Chris: fuck you

Unknown: you have until the end of the week.

Chris eyes his phone in disbelief. He ran from this, but here it was to be the end of him.

The next morning Chris was surprised to see Y/N at his door. Rushing to pull on a shirt and get to the door before Benito did, he slides out of his room, breathless when he finally opens the door. He opens it to reveal his angel. Y/N stood in front of him, a bright smile on her lips and a tray of cupcakes in her hands. Chris peeks outside, notices Benito’s truck is gone and looks back at Y/N, a sly smirk on his face. He reaches towards her and quickly pulls her in, maneuvering the cupcakes from between them and just as quickly placing their lips together. Y/N makes no complaints, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close. Chris relaxes in her hold, the only place he has felt truly at peace since leaving Ecuador. Their lips meet in small, slow kisses, savoring the moment together. After a while, he pulls away, placing his head in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent, the tropical smell of her perfume that always reminded him of her. Y/N places her hand in his hair as Chris holds her tight.

“Erick told me what happened.” She mutters, and Chris sighs. He pulls away and walks to the kitchen. “I’m sorry, Chris.” She says, following him into the kitchen. She leans against the doorframe and watches as he paces back and forth. He looks up at her, his big brown eyes caught in the morning light.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about, hermosa.” He tells her before turning to pull out two mugs.

It was her turn to sigh now. She steps towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind and resting her head on his shoulder as he prepares them coffee.

“I just wish things were easier.” She mutters. He chuckled softly before placing a kiss on her head.

“If everything was easy, there would be nothing to fight for, right?”

He just wanted to make her feel better, but how he wished things were easier too.

The rest of the morning was spent with Y/N and Chris wrapped in each other’s arms, tangled in his sheets. She had fallen asleep, huddled up into his side. He watched the way her chest slowly rose and fell as he drew small circles on her arm. He kept thinking about those photos, that threat, and what it could mean to him, what it could mean to Y/N. His head was full of what he could do, how he could fix this. He had no clue. Before he could think anymore, he felt Y/N stir in her sleep. She smiles when she notices him looking at her.

“Hi.” She says and he smiles, slightly giggling at how messy her hair was.

“Hola.” She sleepily grabs her phone off of his bedside table and in an instant sat up.

“Shit, I have practice in an hour.” She exclaims, quickly getting up to get her things in order. Chris sits up to watch her.

“Do you have to go?” He questions. At the moment he didn’t feel safe. Tough, punches-first-talking-later Christopher Veléz was afraid. He wasn’t sure what these people wanted, he didn’t know who they were. But they knew him, and they knew where he was and that was enough. He didn’t want to worry Y/N just yet, but he supposed because his nerves were so high, Y/N took notice anyway. She looks up at him, a worried look on her face. She promptly drops her bag at the foot of his bed and abandons her efforts to put her shoe on to approach him. She crawls across the bed to straddle his waist and without words Christopher pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her and snuggling his head in the crook of her neck.

“It’ll be okay, Chris. My brother can’t make decisions for me and I won’t let him continue tormenting you like this.” She unconsciously runs her hand through his hair, force of habit.

He chuckles a little at her words. His worries were much bigger than her brother, but he couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t.

“You’re so tough, hermosa, but you don’t need to protect me.” He says, lifting his head up to meet her eyes. She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“Okay Macho Man.” She says, to which he laughs. “I love you, Chris, of course I’m going to try to protect you.” His heart physically hurt in that moment. Here he had someone so selfless, so beautiful, and she let him call her his. His past was catching up, but he hoped he could stop it in time. He leans up to press a kiss onto her lips, allowing himself to melt into her for a second.

“Vamos, you have to go.” He says, playfully pushing her off. She chuckles as she falls off him. Quickly she collects her stuff and gives him a quick peck before bounding out of his room. Christopher grudgingly follows her, never fond of seeing her go.

“I’ll see you later, okay.” She calls out as she walks out of the house.

“Bye, amor.” He responds, watching as she walks to her car. With one last wave, she���s gone, and Christopher is left alone.

three days until zabdiel’s end of the year party

The rest of the week was uneventful. The growing nerves of both fear and excitement loomed in the halls as the seniors got ready to graduate. Christopher doubted he would graduate, and if by some miracle he did, he had no idea what he wanted to do. He walked the halls and overheard his peers with their larger than life plans. Some were going to big schools in the big cities, others were planning on making it big in Hollywood, and others decided on staying close to home and attending local universities. Whatever their plans were, they were definitely more than what Chris had in mind, which was, at the moment, nothing.

He admired hearing Y/N’s plan for her future, she seemed to have everything prepared. She had laughed when he mentioned this to her now.

“Yeah, but I still feel like when I graduate I’m gonna spiral.” Chris chuckles and brings their entangled hands up to plant a kiss on hers.

“I doubt that, amor.” He mutters. She shakes her head, as if tossing the whole thought from her mind.

“What about you? What are you thinking about after graduation?” He clenches his jaw at her words. Did she want an honest answer? Christopher didn’t think he would have lived long enough to graduate highschool.

“We’re closed.” Chris calls out from behind a shelf. He waits a beat to hear a response, or even the store’s bell to tell him someone has left. Neither of that came. He sets down his inventory sheet and steps towards the front of the store. He turns towards the magazine rack to see someone scanning through the prints. “Hey, I said we’re closed.” He tells them. The person still did not respond. Christopher felt goosebumps prickle his skin. None of this situation sat right with him. Chris begins to approach the person.

“Hey,” He begins, reaching out to grab their shoulder. Catching Chris completely by surprise, he feels a fist collide with his side. On instinct he jumps away, pain coursing through his body. There were two people. He scoffs, unsurprised that Y/N’s brother would start something here. But as the two people approach him, he notices how big they were. These guys could not be Micheal and his friends. Chris tries to fight back but these guys were definitely stronger than him, deflecting his every blow and returning them with two of their own. Grunts sound through the small store as the mystery people deliver fist after fist to every square inch of Christopher’s body. He tried to fight back, but they easily overpowered him. It was in little time that Chris began to fall unconscious. He didn’t know how long it had lasted, but when he finally came to, the people were gone, and the clock read 3AM.

Sitting up was a nightmare, he could feel the deep green and purple bruises forming on his ribs and face. Chris manages to stand after several failed attempts and limps to where his phone was left discarded.

A couple calls and texts from the boys, several missed calls from Benito, and double from Y/N.

Painfully, he manages to drive home.

As Christopher locks the door behind him, Benito’s shouts greet him.

“Christopher Velez dónde cojones estabas?”

He turns to face Benito. His hearing was muffled, it was as if hearing through a wall.

“It’s three in the morning! I’ve been worried sick!” Benito flicks on the lights and prepares to yell some more when he stops, finally seeing Christopher’s face. The bruises were growing, ugly shades of purple and green spotted on his face.

“What happened?” Benito questions, slowly approaching Chris. Chris shakes his head, not wanting to discuss what had happened at the store. He walks past Benito into the kitchen.

“Christopher.” Benito warns, following close behind him.

“It’s nothing!” Chris tells him, but Benito shoots him a look, a look that Chris couldn’t ignore.

He sighs. “Some guys came into the store, and out of nowhere started beating me up.” As Chris says this, Benito retrieves some frozen peas from the freezer and alcohol from the medicine cabinet.

“They were trying to steal?” Benito questions, handing Chris the peas before pouring some rubbing alcohol onto a towel.

“I don’t know, I don’t think they took anything.” Chris tells him, wincing as he presses the cold bag to his bruising face.

“Chris,” Benito begins, a pensive look on his face that didn’t settle Chris’s nerves. “I promised your mother to take care of you, but it looks like I’m not doing a good job.”

Chris answers in silence, unsure of what to say.

“I hope you’re not messing with the wrong people.”

Chris glances up at his words, but doesn’t say anything, his silence was answer enough.

Benito goes to step out of the kitchen, but before he leaves, he places a hand on Christopher’s shoulder.

“Call Y/N, she’s worried.”

Chris rests his head on the cupboards and lets out a sigh.

He knew he had gotten himself into some deep shit, and the last thing he wanted to do was involve Y/N. But he needed to hear her voice.

“Hello?” She says when the call connects.

“Hi.” He responds.

“Hi? Hi? You go missing for hours and all you have to say is ‘hi’?” She’s exasperated, and she’s probably been up for hours waiting for him.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

“What happened?”

He wasn’t going to get her involved. Christopher’s number one goal was to keep Y/N safe, and he would do it no matter what.

“Some guys were trying to rob the store.”

“Oh my gosh, Chris, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, amor. It’s nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, deberías ir a dormir.”

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

There's a small pause.

“Yeah. Buena noches, hermosa.”

the day of zabdiel’s end of the year party

The next couple of days were difficult. Every call that came from Y/N, he ignored. Every text he left opened. He knew it wasn’t the best plan of action, but he needed her to let him go, and this was the only way. He knew she would hurt, but a broken heart was better than one that wasn’t beating. Chris hadn’t planned on getting deep with La Marquesa, but he needed money and working as a delivery boy back in Ecuador didn’t cut it. He was going to stop after he got enough so that his family could live somewhat comfortably, but that was a pretty lie he told himself. He knew this life, once you got in it, it was almost impossible to get out.

Friday night came by slowly. The pain it brought him to ignore Y/N’s calls was almost unbearable. But he needed to protect her at all costs. His phone then pings from where it lay on his bed.

zab: vas a la fiesta hoy?

He had forgotten about the party entirely.

zab: you said you’d help me with the beer

He sighed, he had promised that. Christopher sends a text back quickly before throwing on his jacket. He didn’t want to go tonight but he had promised a friend. He decided to just drop off the drinks and leave, not wanting the small possibility of facing Y/N.

After taking as much beer as he could find from Benito’s, promising to restock tomorrow morning, Christopher set off to the party. By the time he got there, the music could already be heard down the street. The pulsing lights shone through the windows and the silhouettes of drunk teenagers were visible.

“You made it!” He hears as he steps inside. Joel approaches him and slaps Chris on the back. Chris offers him a smile and lifts the boxes of beer in his arms. Joel nods and motions towards the kitchen.

“Zab is upstairs, he’s been looking for you.” Chris nods and sets down the boxes on the counter before heading up to Zabdiel’s bedroom.

“Aye! Llego el Christopher!” Zabdiel exclaims as Chris pushes the door of his bedroom open. He offers them a smile as he and Richard clap him up in greeting.

“Everything okay?” Richard questions, noticing fatigue in Christopher's eyes, the normal bright and effervescent look in his eyes was almost completely diminished.

“Si, si.” Chris mutters. They both nod his way, but don’t completely believe him. Zabdiel quickly finishes getting ready, as he was already more than fashionably late to his own party. After he sprays the last bit of cologne, he and Richard follow Christopher out of the room.

“Creo que me voy para la casa.” Chris says as he walks to the stairs.

“Que?” Zabdiel questions. “The party just started!”

“I know, I’m just tired.” Zabdiel and Richard share a quick look.

“Bueno loco, it was good seeing you even just for a second.” Richard says, patting Chris on the shoulder.

Christopher walks downstairs, ready to head home. He keeps his gaze in front of him, just wanting to get home as soon as possible. He steps out of the house, Zabdiel and Richard following to bid their farewells. Chris doesn’t look back as he approaches his truck, but he almost stops dead in his tracks when he hears someone calling his name.

“Christopher!” Y/N. He knew her voice anywhere. Christopher flinches at her voice, but he didn’t turn, he didn’t stop, he couldn’t. Zabdiel leans down to whisper something to him but he brushes the taller boy off.

“Christopher!” She yells again and in a moment, she grabs his arm and turns him to face her.

He made sure his expression revealed no emotions, despite the fact that his heart was a hurricane of them. He watched as the tears clung to her lash line, threatening to fall any second. Christopher’s heart hurt as he looked at her, wanting to console her, to tell her it would all be okay. But he couldn’t. Y/N then reaches up to touch his face, noticing the bruises. Before her fingertips could graze his skin, he moves his face away, sure he would collapse into her if he let her touch him. She recoils back and a large pang of hurt erupted in his heart.

“What are you doing?” She questions.

“What?” He questions back. “Did you really think this meant anything to me?”

Her mouth pops open at his words.

“Wh-what?” She stutters. He hated this, he hated it so much.

“You never meant anything to me.” He states. Those words were a double edged sword, hurting both him and her. “We’re over.”

The tears were falling soundlessly down her face, and Christopher swore he felt his heart crack in two.

“You know they’ve always talked about you.” She says in between tears. “They said you would never treat me right. Maybe they had a point.”

Hearing her say that almost knocked the entire facade off. Y/N, the one person who always told him he was capable of so much more than he thought, the person who made him feel like less of an outsider, the person who defied all rules to love him, was telling him this, hitting him right where it hurt. He knew he was never good for her, but she always made him see him through her eyes. But now she saw his as everyone else did, a criminal, an outsider.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again

really didn’t think one of the problems on this here fine tuesday would be identifying and avoiding a multi level marketing scheme but here we are in this brave new world. anyway if you know someone hiring remotely for scicomm or makerspace shit whatever the FUCK that looks like these days, you already know i’m competent and make cool shit.

anyway this is a long one bc i read a real published book over the past two days and i have Thoughts and Opinions

listening hey did you know Billie Holiday was bisexual??? i’ve had an assortment of her albums on loop as i apply to jobs bc jazz takes up enough of my brain without being really distracting, and I Wished On The Moon is my current favorite

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reading Delilah S. Dawson’s Phasma. very one thousand and one nights, which is a cool framing technique, but the Scheherazade equivalent is being interrogated by the First Order which would have been cool to know going in? the Bad Part of the interrogation is a little more graphic than i thought would be in a YA book. it’s also a little too long and the scene transitions within the story the spy is telling are jarring imo. however, the difference in voice and tone between the spy telling the story and the spy interrupting herself to ask for food/water is really good.

two things i have never seen a star war book do and i have read. too many of them. it opens with her knitting a sweater in the cockpit of her little spacecraft, bc space is cold and boring, and this charmed me immensely. usually people are playing sabacc or holochess or whatever and yelling, not quietly amusing themselves. this mono-biome Hell Planet has an interesting backstory for why it’s Like That, which ties into the spy’s observations about the First Order in a more subtle manner than i expected for a star war YA book. the thing with star wars is it’s not well executed 95% of the time so when you find something that partially succeeds it’s a really pleasant surprise!

watching futureworld (1976, dir. Heffron). let me briefly spoil one of the central scenes of the forty four year old film so u see my issues with it. maybe the most obvious modern successor of this film is the Institute faction in Fallout 4, who kidnap people to replace them with exact biological robot replicas. there are some fairly graphic medical experimentation scenes on unconscious people. also, love to see misogyny in the workplace and the sidelining of an ambitious female character. i watched this film for the giant panels of buttons and switches and lights. the protags spend a lot of this film climbing around pipes and machinery in access tunnels and it’s pretty great set work honestly. look at this giant fuckoff IBM

playing signs of the sojourner by echodog games, which i acquired in the big itch.io sale. it is a charming little deckbuilding game with good music, where the cards are mechanized as points in a conversation- if you match cards you come to an agreement with the person, if you don’t you come to a disagreement. it stresses me out when i don’t “win” the conversation with the person liking me and we’re in agreement, which says a lot about what i consider a win condition. usually not big into deckbuilding games but now i’ve got a better handle on the mechanics i think i’m going to abandon this sort of fucked up first run

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making thread i need is finally back in stock, should be here in ??? days. new cross stitch frame is still slowly making its way to me. we’ve gotten to the square in the glitch sampler that is a billion different unconnected colors, what we in the biz call “confetti”. i’ve already decided i’m getting this pair of space samplers professionally framed bc i’ve spent too much time on them already to botch them with an amateur framing attempt. even though the horrible horrible job i’ve done properly finishing all the billion ends will be embarrassing, i don’t have to actually interact with anyone and see their disapproval, i just gotta roll it up and ship it off when i’m done.

[ziracona]

What are your thoughts on all the survivors that weren't mentioned in ilm? Like bill and zarina?

Well, I’m under-informed on a few of them. If I wrote a story including Bill, Heather/Cheryl, and Ash, I would do more research first, because I only have their DbD paragraphs and a little personal knowledge to go with, but I’ll still give you my current takes haha. 

I’ve never played Left 4 Dead, but from his perks and the little I do know, Bill seems gruff and rough around the edges, but like he’s got a good heart and while his paragraph describes him as wanting someone to fight more than anything, I’d argue it reads a lot more like he wants to see people protected more than anything. (I mean, considering he’s quite literally died for his friends before, and some of his perks are based around survival alone, but he’s also got Borrowed Time, one of the most altruistic survivor perks in the game). 

Heather I feel bad for more than anything else. Poor girl goes to hell once and what do you do? Ya send her back. It ain’t fair. I’ve /seen/ Silent Hill and never played it, so again I have very incomplete information, but I liked her, and mostly I just felt bad for her that her life was super messed up. Poor kid is extremely traumatized, but I greatly admire the resilience and how powerful she is when most people would pretty understandably curl up and die.

Ash, I’ve /only/ seen the first Evil Dead film, so I only know him as baby Ash/the world’s single biggest himbo. I’m losing it. In that film, he really does see a friend turn into a demon zombie (not the first time it’s happened either), attempt to murder him and another friend, then get decapitated but still be chattering on the floor, and when he asks what they’re gonna do now and his other (kind of dying at this point) friend says they have to bury the zombie still living corpse thing, dumb hoe really does go “But we can’t bury her! She’s our friend : (”.  He’s so stupid but I loved him. The movie was kinda too grody for my personal preferences--kinda icked me out--but I really enjoyed poor stupid Ash. I am lead to believe he is much more charismatic as an older dude though, so I’d have to do more research to have an accurate opinion on DbD Ash.

Yui I really like. Actually, I try not to play against Yuis when I play killer, or to like, at least not play Legion or Myers against them (I main Wraith/Myers/Legion, although I’m also learning Huntress, Nurse, Hag, & Spirit), because this poor girl got assaulted by a nasty stalker boy with a knife & half her character is about speaking out for women who get stalked & abused and thus I like, don’t feel super comfortable knifing a character who is written as a figurehead for “don’t abuse women or stalk/kill them” down as a slasher boy in-game? (Kind of a weird choice by the devs tbh). I like her a lot though. It’s cool that she rebelled against gender stereotypes even though it made home life really hard, and did it in a society where that’s even more complicated than where I’m from, and that she carved her own path despite a lot of obstacles, defended herself against a guy who was entitled to her body because he’d seen her, beat him, and then went through PT and recovery and got back to racing and was kind of a figurehead of speaking out against violence against women and had a whole biker gang devoted to that. She’s very hardcore.

Zarina is also cool. I like her whole “search for the truth” freedom fighter thing. Her perks are really neat & I think the way she’s tied to Caleb is cool. It’s been a while since there’s really been a connection between killer and survivor (I mean, ST I guess, but the Demogorgon has no personal connection to those two, it’s just from their world, so to me it’s been since like, Jeff), and this is an interesting way for them to be connected. You’ve got Nea having trespassed in the Nurse’s workplace, Benedict went looking for answers at the MacMillan estate, and Jeff having been friends with Legion in highschool, but other than that and the licensed survivors who get taken with the monster hunting them (Quentin, Laurie, Tapp, Heather, etc), most survivors have no connection. It’s neat that she went looking for truth and trying to see if Caleb was a monster like history paints him, and that’s why she got taken. Kinda sad too, because part of what made Caleb end so violent was that the justice system was super unfair to him, and probably if he knew all of Zarina’s history, he would appreciate her and get some weird small amount of solace from it (I’m not about to suggest he’d like, reform or something, but like, it would probably matter to him, and he’d probably take it easy on her in trials, even if his life didn’t fundamentally change much), but he’ll almost certainly never know that. Her backstory is brutal but kinda real, and it sucks a lot for her that her whole life has been unfair, and then she got snatched by the Entity too. : /  I like her though. 

Nancy & Steve I like, although it’s weird to me they were the pair taken lol. It would have made more sense if it was Nancy and Jonathan, or Steve and his bff Robin. ST seems like a weird addition to me, because I don’t think of it as horror, but that said, I really feel like they missed out by adding Steve & Nancy as their survivors period, even though these are both characters I like in the show. See, almost without fail before that, the licensed characters taken were either from stories finished being told, or dead/presumed dead, and that was really cool (I mean, Halloween I guess not, but Halloween doesn’t count because it’s already got like 6 timelines going--what’s one more?). It was great to see Quentin get a second life through DbD, and Tapp just dies offscreen presumably in Saw 1, so he was a great pick for someone to develop further in a different story--same reason he’s the first protag of the Saw video games. That was a really cool way to do things, and I think they should have stuck to it. It was smart, and awesome, and a lovely idea. ST, however, isn’t even finished getting seasons. And especially with that being the case, it’s weird to just have some totally undeveloped and unmotivated AU where part way between seasons...2 & 3? Nancy calls....Steve? And just Steve? To help her look something up? And they go missing together? Like, if you wanted a ST episode, which could have been really amazing, I’d have way preferred you stick to your OG, really cool guns & drag in a dead or underutilized character and give them new life than create an unmotivated AU where some probably happy in main-stream canon character is now trapped in hell for the publicity grab. I’m not actually, like, bothered about them being in-game or smth if that sounds harsh, I just am a little bit sad they didn’t go with their old modus operandi and do something really cool! Like, ST has a terrible track record for killing off characters for no GD good reason post season-one and DbD YOU COULD HAVE UTILIZED THAT FAILING SO WELL. You could have done amazing things!!! Like, Alexi gets to have a second life in DbD? Sign me the fuck up, he was my favorite character in Season 3! I fkn DIG that. OR UH. GIVE ME FUKCING BOB. I WOULD NEVER PLAY ANYONE BUT SEAN ASTIN AGAIN. I”M JUST SAYING. WHY TF DID YOU NOT PICK THE MUCH BETTER OPTIONS AND DO WHAT YOU USED TO DEVS I HATE IT.

So anyway none of this is revolutionary but here’s my short form thoughts on the other survivors that weren’t in ILM. Thanks for the ask! ^u^

[flowerspecial]

I.M meets a foreign noona

In the past few months, your career has really taken off. You were an instant hit on the internet. Your calming nature yet your undeniable charm made for an amazing combination in a talk show host. Your guests also complimented you on how comfortable you made them feel. Not only did that make you feel extremely happy, it was considered one of the biggest compliments in the business. But it also meant that your guests were more likely to open up, meaning you would get more out of the interview.

Your boss had recently told you that your latest guests would be Monsta X. Monsta X were trying to crack the US, so they needed as much exposure as possible. Of course, you were more than happy to interview them. You were around the same age as the older members of the group, so you knew that you would have that instant connection with them. You always found it easier to bond with celebrities who were of similar age to you. You would also be lying if you said that you hadn't heard anything of Monsta X. You were a huge fan, you had listened to all of their music and you might even have an official light stick. You was excited to go full on fan person.

On the day of the interview, you followed your usual procedure to the dot. However, your colleagues noticed that you made a special effort with your outfit today. You always looked good on camera, but today you wanted to be feeling yourself. You had even gone the extra mile with your makeup. When you were on set, you scurried around making sure everything was ready. The set of your show was always very comfortable. You had an inviting looking sofa complete with plush cushions. During your interviews you always liked your guests to feel at home. But your interviews were not just having a chit chat with them for 20 or so minutes. Especially with your foreign guests, you liked to encourage them to try some local foods, and try to teach them some particularly hard English words. You knew how much their fans loved hearing their favourite idols speaking English. So in order to get the views, you have to appease the fans. It's basic logic.

You looked at your watch and saw that you only had around 10 minutes before your guests were expected to arrive. You quickly checked over your notes. You had little cue cards and what to ask them, and you may have even had a card on how to correctly pronounce their names. There is absolutely nothing worse than foreign interviewers pronouncing kpop idols’ names wrong. It's a level of professionalism that you never wanted tied to you.

The boys arrived promptly, and you walked over to them to greet them warmly.

“Hello! It’s great to meet you. I am so happy to be interviewing you guys!” You said excitedly. The boys all smiled at you in return and your boss guided the boys into the dressing room to get ready. As the boys walked past you, you felt a pair of lingering eyes casting their gaze on your body.

“I cannot wait to do this interview. I think you are so amazing.” Changkyun spoke lowly. He let your eyes connect with his and he held your gaze for a few seconds before walking off. You were stuck to the ground and your eyes followed Changkyun into his dressing room. He looked back at you, and noticing the effect he had on you, he licked his lips smoothly and smirked at you.

When the door closed behind Changkyun, you was shaken out of your trance like state. You was slightly taken aback by the confident persona of the youngest member in the group. But you can't deny that there was something about it that was oddly attractive.

“And now I would like to introduce my latest guests, Monsta X!” You exclaimed happily to the camera. You stood up from your seat as the boys walked into the shot. You shook Shownu’s hand as he was the closest to you, and you motioned for them to take a seat. “I’m so excited to have you guys on. I am a huge fan!”

“Thank you so much!” Shownu replied.

“We are huge fans of you too.” Changkyun added. His comment seemed innocent enough but you noticed the flirty undertone to his words. Your heart began to race slightly, and you had to remind yourself that you were still on camera.

“So first of all,” you pried your eyes away from Changkyun. “Your latest music video for Find You has got all of your fans guessing about the story. With it's close link to your previous music video for Dramarama, people are thinking that you might add more videos to connect the whole piece together. Is there any truth in that?”

“Well obviously we don’t want to give too much away.” Jooheon said. “To be honest we love the theories that our fans come up with. It shows how observant they are, they notice things that we don’t even notice. It's so cool.”

“We like to keep people on their toes.” Changkyun commented. “What’s the fun in giving everything away? I like to be a bit of a tease.” Now the other boys didn't really bat an eyelid at Changkyun’s comments. You however was taken back. The little switch between the pronoun ‘we’ to the pronoun ‘I’ did not go unnoticed by you.

“Wow you guys are not making my job easy. Sorry fans, it looks like these boys are keeping their lips sealed!” You laughed to the camera.

The rest of the interview pretty much went the same way that it had started. After every question, one of the boys would answer with quite a basic and straightforward answer. But then Changkyun would pipe up with a flirty comment, directed more at you than at the camera. The more comments he made, the quicker your heart rate raced. You weren’t normally overly attracted to younger guys, the social norms in the west don’t really advocate for relationships that way round. However, there was something about this cheeky, teasing yet oddly adorable younger guy that was making you reevaluate your beliefs.

“Now, your latest songs such as Love U, and Someone’s Someone, preach about your need to find someone special. So let me ask you, what do you want in your significant other?” Questions like these could always go one of two ways: either the artist would feel really uncomfortable and would give a really basic level answer; or they would be really open and tell you exactly what they are looking for.

“I guess I would want someone who is kind to me. Someone who is patient with me. Knows that my job is really important to me. I want a relationship where we are each other’s biggest fans.” Wonho smiled to the camera, making a heart gesture. You and the boys couldn't help but aw at his little revelation.

When the collective aw ended, Changkyun looked at you very deadpan and simply said, “you.”

“Don't you think I’m a bit old for you?” You said smirking. Honestly you was just trying to diffuse the situation. Last thing you wanted was a group of angry fans sending you hate mail for stealing their beloved.

“Nope. I like an older woman, And you are perfect.” His simple comment made all the blood rush to your cheeks, and you laughed awkwardly. The rest of the boys pushed Changkyun off the sofa while in fits of laughter.

“Well this took an awkward turn. I’m actually quite nervous for this next section.” All the boys looked at you with wide eyes. “Now it's time to try some local foods. But I’m worried that he,” you pointed at Changkyun, “is going to make everything flirty.”

“Don't worry, I’ll be on my best behaviour. Your wish is my command.” Changkyun smirked at you. You sighed at him and shook your head in defeat. Every comment that came out of his mouth was laced with sexuality.

You encouraged all the boys to try the food. They were all stood around you in a semi circle and you handed out the food. The rest of the boys took it happily but Changkyun just looked at you with puppy dog eyes. When he refused to take anything you would look at him and he'd part his mouth slightly.

“Seriously?” You questioned. Changkyun nodded eagerly and entwined his hands in front of his chest. You rolled your eyes but you decided to feed him anyway. His eyes lit up so bright and he took the food appreciatively.

He took a step closer to you, and bent down to get close to your ear. “Thank you, miss.” He whispered so lowly even you wasn’t 100% sure that was what he said. You really couldn't believe the nerve of this boy. He’s literally on camera and yet he’s whispering in your ear suggestively.

“Well that's all we have time for! I want to say a massive thank you for my guests, Monsta X. It has truly been an, interesting, interview. And thank you to everyone who has watched this!” You finished the interview with a small wave to the camera. Monsta X said goodbye in unison and your camera man indicated that the filming had finished. You started to disperse and the boys began to head back to their changing room

“Thank you so much for having us!” Joohoney smiled happily, shaking your hand. “I’m sorry about Changkyun, he’s young and a bit, erm, frustrated, I guess you could say.”

“No worries! I have to admit I was quite flattered. I’m not used to younger guys giving me that much attention.” You admitted. You and Joohoney shared a giggle at your comment. Changkyun noticed you guys sharing a moment and stood right in the middle of you two.

“What are you guys talking about?” He said. He looked between you two, not even remotely caring that he looks so jealous right now.

“Oh nothing. We were just sharing a moment.” Joohoney said, smirking at his younger brother. Changkyun glared at him fiercely and pushed him slightly so he could walk away. Joohoney took the hint and laughed at Changkyun as he walked away. Not before giving you a brief hug.

“A little jealous there buddy?” You cockily said, looking Changkyun up and down.

“Maybe, but you should know something,” he started, getting closer to you. “I am better than any of these other boys. You might think that younger boys are lacking in some way. But one night with me, I will show you that I’m everything you need and more.” He handed you a piece of paper with his number on it and kissed you quickly on your jawline.

As he walked away, you were once again stuck to the ground. Your heart was racing and you felt a warmth spread through your body. Just like earlier, Changkyun looked back at you and smirked when he noticed the effect he had on you. But this time, he gave you a wink and gave you the hand gesture of ‘call me’.

[dragracereviews]

My Ultimate Top 10 Favorite Drag Race Queens

#10 - Kameron Michaels: NGL, Kameron is partially on this list because I would fuck her in a heartbeat. I actually plan on making a list later of queens I would sleep with in and/or out of drag and you will definitely find Miss Michaels high on there. I’ve seen her live on the Werq the World tour and I 100% regret not getting Meet and Greet though I probably would’ve just drooled on her and made a fool of myself so maybe it’s better that I didn’t. It’s a known fact that Kameron is an incredible lip syncer (if you haven’t watched season 10, please do so just to see her in action because honestly, she’s one of the few good things about that season) and she did NOT disappoint. Her dancing was only beat out by Vanjie who you may or may not see later on this list. Kameron if you’re out there reading this (LOL, we all know she isn’t) and you ever feel like experimenting with an actual biological woman, hit me up!

#9 - Sharon Needles: And here we have another attractive man out of drag! Sharon was the OG underdog and while I’m not going to sit here and bash Phi Phi O’Hara because she’s actually talented AF (checkout her Harry Potter cosplay, it’s soooo good), Sharon definitely didn’t deserve all the shade thrown at her on season 4. Her drag aesthetic has always been equals parts spooky and equal parts fabulous, but she’s actually improved over the years and it’s made me love her even more. My favorite Sharon moment ever is during a “Queens Reading Mean Comments” video on WOWPresents’ Youtube channel where someone said they liked her old teeth better and she just goes, “Well my old teeth just looked ridiculous with my new lips!” Get ‘em, girl.

#8 - Jinkx Monsoon: I want Jinkx to be my mom. There, I said it. Also, if you don’t get that reference, get your shit together and subscribe to WOW Presents on Youtube you fucking bumpkin. Jinkx was the loveable weirdo on her season and received a lot of hate from her fellow queens but I loved her from the start. I have since forgiven Roxxxy Andrews for her cattiness because of her rudemption on All Stars 2 (insert her Read U Wrote U verse here) but nothing was more satisfying than watching Jinkx go from the underdog to America’s Next Drag Superstar. I don’t know what’s more iconic; her tendency to fall asleep at inopportune times, her laugh, or all the jokes about her being a full blown swamp witch. Either way, it will always be Monsoon season in my eyes.

#7 - Nina West: Hands down, the DEFINITION of Miss Congeniality! This choice was so obvious, I don’t even know why they took a vote. I think that even if they left it up to the fans, it would’ve been her. I fucking LOVE Nina. I’ve actually met her IRL and my first thoughts were 1: she’s HUGE (hello, she’s a six foot tall man in like 6 inch heels and I’m barely over five feet) and 2. she just radiates happiness! She is the only queen I’ve met that asked me my name (though shout out to Plastique Tiara for calling me gorgeous as if she’s not the most beautiful creature on the planet) and she didn’t make me feel like an idiot when I just stared at her adoringly and just word vomited “you’remyfavoriteiloveyousomuch”. Class act people!

#6 - Bianca del Rio: Do I even need an explanation for this one? Hands down, the undisputed winner of season 6, and that’s coming from a die-hard ***** fan (see entry #2). Did she wear the same silhouette 10+ times? Yes. Can she kind of be a bitch sometimes? Definitely. But is she the funniest fucking person alive? Probably! My love for Bianca is infinite but I still wouldn’t want her to read me, at least not in person. Actually, scratch that, I’ve seen her Twitter feed and getting read online is almost worse. I fucking love Hurricane Bianca and the sequel even though it’s one of those so-bad-it’s-good type of film series. I sadly missed her last tour because it was the same night as Sasha Velour’s Smoke & Mirrors show and as amazing as Sasha was, my heart was broken that I couldn’t go to both. But you better believe the next time she’s in town, I’m forking out lots of $$ for VIP and I may or may not faint at Bianca’s feet #noregrets

#5 - Vanessa Vanjie Matteo: Mother. Fucking. Vanjie. OKAY, I’ve met this bitch IRL and let me tell you, she is the cutest fucking thing. Like Nina, it shocked me how apparent it is that she’s a man (square jaw, hello?) but she can still paint for filth and look fishy AF even with her boyish features. Also, AMAZING performer! I waited 3 hours after the M&G for her to actually come on stage and perform only two songs (that’s a story for another day) but let me tell you, it was worth the fucking wait. I showered that bitch with Canadian monopoly money and I would’ve given her more if I wasn’t such a broke millennial. And to top the whole night off, I got woken up at 5 am to my friend screaming because Vanjie had reposted my photo in her story so I was essentially Instagram famous for all of like, a day. Thanks girl xo

#4 - Bendelacreme: I love me some Dela. This queen proved in both her regular season and All Stars that she is a force to be reckoned with. Season 6 wouldn’t have been the same without her and did I want to yell at Darienne Lake for being a bitch to her? Absolutely! (Gia Gunn pun intended) And I honestly think that if she hadn’t eliminated herself, she would’ve won AS3 (though if you read my #1 entry, I am 100% satisfied with who did win). She completely deserved her Miss Congeniality title, and while I see where the others AS3 queens were coming from when they suspected she was trying a little too hard to keep up that image, I did appreciate her trying to play the game with some class, because we don’t see that often on Drag Race. I also love her friendship with Jinkx and it’s definitely on my bucket list to see one of their shows one day. You know what they say, the Creme always rises to the top!

#3 - Brooke Lynn Hytes: Full disclosure, I’m Canadian but that’s not the only reason why I love Brooke (she is the Queen in the North though, and I’ll fight you if you say otherwise). This queen is fucking TALENTED! Season 11 would have failed without her, IMHO. She can design and sow a complete outfit, read people to filth, sort of sing (I still listen to Queens Everywhere daily, especially her verse), dance circles around ANYBODY, and lip sync like her mother fucking life depends on it. Did she, by the end of the season, forget that’s there’s more to a lip sync than being on pointe? Yes, absolutely. But that doesn’t change the fact that she is literal perfection and I think that’s why Ru gave Yvie the crown instead of her (though I love Yvie so don’t come for me). Brooke’s biggest downfall was the fact that she wasn’t relatable and I am 100% okay with that. Sometimes you just have to worship the unattainable. The only issue I have with Brooke is her and Vanjie not being officially together anymore because yes, I am one of those fans that ship queens together, especially queens that have actually dated. I will never get over #Branjie, just saying.

#2 - Adore Delano: "I'm a fucking Libra!" As soon as these words left her mouth, I knew I was in love with Adore Delano. Season 6 is by far my favorite season (spoiler alert if I decide to make a Top 10 Best Seasons list) and if it weren't for my #1 pick, she would 100% have the top spot. Hell, before I discovered WOW Presents, she WAS my #1 pick (read my next entry to understand what I mean). Adore is simultaneously adorable (pun intended) and fierce AF. She's beautiful, hilarious, and did I mention beautiful?! She is the reason I say "party" at inappropriate times. She is the reason I wish I was a Libra instead of a fucking Scorpio. She is the reason I insist everybody start their first Drag Race binge with season 6 because I know they’ll fall in love with her as much as I have. Adore, if you’re reading this, I fucking adore you.

#1 - Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova: Of course these two are tied as my number one spot. Individually, these queens are fucking fierce and extremely talented (go download Trixie's country albums if you don't believe me), but together they are pure gold. If you've only ever watched their run on season 7, you probably don't understand why I love them so much, so do yourself a favor and go watch All Stars 2 & 3, as well as their web shows "UnHhhh", "The Trixie & Katya Show", and “Queens Who Like To Watch”. I can even give you a list of other stand alone videos of them to watch (ex. "Besties for Cash", "Fashion Photo Review", compilation videos of the pair in Palm Springs... I think you get the gist). Truth be told, I'm absolutely obsessed with these two, so much so that I may or may not have indulged in some online fan fiction about them from time to time...don’t judge me, okay?! I love a friends-turned-lovers love story, and I know I’m not the only one wishing #Trixya would happen IRL. I've also shelled out so much money to Trixie alone on her merch and makeup, and I'm waiting very impatiently for them to go on tour together so I can go full Futurama and just scream "take my money" as I buy the most VIP package they have. Trixie and Katya are the ultimate definition of All Stars and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.