#if vfd has always been that at it’s best

[milf-lover42]

I've been thinking about Georgina Orwell an alarming amount this past week but I think I've exhausted all the good fan content out there 💔, tumblr posts, fanfics, hell even whatever pinterest gave me has run dry. I'm sad, I'm contentless, and I'm shamefully in love with Georgina Orwell.

That was longer than I thought itd be but basically the point is that if you have any advice for where to look next then I will take it, and if not then I am humbly asking you for any headcanons or anything you have 🙏

THANK YOUUU SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG!! YOU HAVE WONDERFUL TASTE IN WOMEN!!!

Dear anon I am so so unbelievably sorry for the time it has taken to get to you. I, an Esmé kinner, and my partner, a Georgina kinner, think about this ask every day and have been dying to answer you. Life has just been all over the place.

I would say that these headcanons are just that, and if you disagree then that’s fine, but truthfully I think of what we have come up with over the years as the real and actual truth and canon of the series. With that in mind! Here you go, I hope you enjoy!

Lore headcanons

First and foremost!

No matter the version, book, show, or continuation of the movie that never happened… Georgina survived her “death” at the Mill. In show canon, obviously there’s just an escape chute in the furnace, easy peasy, everyone has said this.

In book canon… yeah okay sure she tripped and was sawed in half at the mill. However, that woman has surely seen an Alice Cooper concert and knows how to fake a gory death live. She probably taught him how to do it to be honest.

So. She lives through Miserable Mill no matter the version. That woman is unkillable.

Georgina’s family is Old VFD. Like the Orwells were founding members type shit. Maybe it was her parents, maybe her grandparents or further, but either way, she was raised knowing everything. She was one of few members capable of learning about VFD and its inner workings from her own family - long before they died. She is the last keeper of every secret. She knows more things about the history of the organization than most of the sugarbowl gen can even begin to piece together. If VFD had nuclear weapons, Georgina Orwell would be the only one left who knew the codes, and that includes the Sinister Duo. Because of this, she’s very disconnected from the other members that we know of because they just don’t know about the truly dark information that VFD has kept secret from itself. She is technically still VFD, and in her earlier life was a dedicated member in some capacity, but she has no strong allegiance to it aside from her secret keeping (though that is more familial allegiance) when the SBG undergoes their schism.

Characteristic headcanons

BOTH of her knees are bad, that’s why she carries a cane. She doesn’t always need it (see: how often she simply holds it instead of actually placing it on the ground in the show), the pain flares up at different intervals and usually only in one leg at a time, but she always carries one A) because it is her sword and B) because that way no one can ever tell if it’s a good or bad day for her as far as knee pain goes.

She takes her coffee with no creamer, but does use sugar. It just varies in quantity per day. NEVER creamer or milk. Also is totally someone that’s a “don’t talk to me before my morning coffee” person. She doesn’t ever say this, she doesn’t have a nonsense mug that says it. However, if you try to speak to her before her coffee she will simply ignore you. She doesn’t get mad or glare or anything. She just… does not care until she’s had coffee. So it’s best to just wait because you won’t get anything out of her until then.

Tea she takes plain, nothing in it, no milk, no sugar, no lemon, nothing. Just. Tea. She isn’t a tea snob by any means, she will drink any tea she is given. If it’s bad tea she’ll just think that it wasn’t great, could be improved, but will take NO steps to improve it herself. She doesn’t even look at what type she is buying and she has no favorites. She likes tea enough to buy and make it but she literally does not care enough to select one. She just picks one at random every single time. She has had some truly horrible teas in her time without complaining or changing her habits once.

If you ask her what matcha is she will have NO idea what the fuck you are talking about.

Thank you so much for the ask, I love talking about my wife. I have so many more headcanons but pretty much all of them revolve around the idea that she and Esmé are together pre and post series (I am writing a fic slowly but surely to better explain this dynamic) and that they adopt Carmelita after the hotel. In the case that you are not an Eswell shipper I am keeping them to myself for the time being, but should you want that specific Georgina content I am more than happy to oblige! Just shoot me another ask and I will begin to compile it for you.

[beatricebidelaire]

unofficial chaperone

Technically, Jacques isn't Quigley's chaperone. But he feels like it's his duty to play such a role, anyway. But just because he considers it his duty that doesn't mean he thinks he did a good job at it.

~900 words. Jacques Snicket & Quigley Quagmire

written for day 6 of woevember of @asouefanworkevent, the reptile room

The reptile room is a quiet place, these days.

Without Monty's loud and infectious laughter, without Gustav talking about his latest movie projects, without the two of them being happily in love. With them gone, all those sounds have disappeared, and all that's left is the occasional sounds made by the snakes - sometimes one would knock over something in its cage, causing a display of a rube goldberg machine to take place.

But mostly, it's fairly quiet.

Some people would find it eerie, probably, especially considering how vibrant this place has once been. With Monty gone, it seems now the place that's once filled with his enthusiasm and cheerfulness has collapsed, making it feel a smaller, emptier than it actually is.

But Jacques has always been able to find solace, to find comfort in the quiet. It seems that the reptile room, while quite chaotic a while ago, when Olaf was carrying his schemes here, has settled back into quietness again. While of course Jacques misses Monty and Gustav terribly, and seeing everything in this house sort of reminds him of them, there's still a kind of comfort to be alone in a place that all the chaos have passed. The calm after the storm.

Well.

Almost alone.

Quigley Quagmire is here, although Jacques's so busy with his own research and often stays up all night reading and sleeps during the day, so they didn't have that much chance to talk. When they do, though, Quigley has a lot of questions he want to ask, and Jacques does his best to answer them, or guide him in the right direction to the answer.

But at the same time, he's overwhelmed with his own tasks - the research he has to do find the Baudelaires, his regular duties for VFD, and a bunch of other stuff. At least he doesn't have to work for Daily Punctilio at the moment, now that Eleanora's fired him. And he's also dealing with his own grief at the same time.

Losing Beatrice and Bertrand and Monty and Gustav and Josephine and the Quagmires in such a short time - even though some of them are old friends he hasn't been in contact with for years - has hit hard. Even though he doesn't let that affect his work, or tries his best to do so, but the grief still engulfs him, as he works quietly, researching and investigating. Following the trails of the Baudelaires, trying to find them.

He's aware he's not been a proper chaperone to Quigley, although technically he isn't even one. Not officially, anyway. If they were in peaceful times (what is peace, though, to someone who's 4 years old when the schism occurred? but let's say comparatively peaceful, perhaps,) maybe he could be, officially. Although maybe if they were in peaceful times, they would never have met. But even if no one ever assigned him the task of chaperoning Quigley, his felt like it's his responsibility to.

Whether it's because he sees a kid, away from his family, all scared, and thinks that its his duty to take care of him, or whether it's because he knows one of his important duties is to look for potential recruits, and he sees one in Quigley - or maybe it's a both, as things often are - the results are the same. He considers himself sort of an unofficial chaperone.

But even as he takes that upon his own responsibility, Jacques is acutely aware he's not doing a great job at it. He tells him certain things and leaves certain things for Quigley to find out by himself, leaving clues like a chaperone should, guiding the apprentice to find the answer themself.

He's aware he's too busy with his own tasks, so busy investigating and also at the same time, a bit engulfed in his own grief, that he just isn't paying Quigley enough attention. He feels guilty over it, but unfortunately he has a bunch of other priorities he has to take care of. But it weighs on him, nonetheless.

Over the years, Jacques is just too equipped with the skill of carrying on doing his work even as he lets certain guilt weigh down on him.

Once, he remembers Lemony's old chaperone, S. Theodora Markson. Also Bertrand's, he knows. He used to think she's a terrible chaperone and disapproves of the way she's apparently not well-trained enough, the way she obviously neglects Lemony, the way she seems to be utterly incompetent at the chaperone job. The way she's ranked last of all chaperones. He used to think she's too wrapped up in her own issues and has neglected the care of her apprentice - namely, Jacques's little brother. While Jacques is aware that Lemony isn't the easiest apprentice to train, that L's always with his own opinions, but Jacques still thinks if Markson was more competent and less focused on herself, she should've been able to guide and help Lemony more.

Well, look at himself now, he thinks with a grimace. Barely doing a better job of taking care of Quigley and answering his questions. Much too overwhelmed by his own things to properly care and train him. Even though technically he isn't Quigley's chaperone, and Quigley's not a VFD recruit, not officially anyway. But still, he thinks that in some way, he is his apprentice. Even if not officially. Even if he's never told Quigley so.

Sometimes, Jacques thinks. We all grow up into the adults who we never thought we'd become.

[hannaswritingblog]

Headcanon: being Jacques Snicket’s daughter raised by VFD

Fandom: A Series of Unfortunate Events

Requested by anon [x]

A/N: I'm sorry that I kept you waiting for so long and the headcanon still turned out a bit short after all this time. I hope you like it anyway!

Even with all the volunteers still keeping together, it's a tough business to be in the organisation

But it's always been important to your father that the cause they fight for is great and noble

That's why he never kept it a secret from you, even when you were quite young

Moreover, he might believe it's better this way, to expose you to the VFD early so you can learn what to expect when you're older

Often it's easier for him too, to have a group of people supporting him in raising you, helping you learn and gain experience

Starting with his siblings, your uncle Lemony and aunt Kit

They're always there to support their brother in raising his daughter

You form a close bond with Kit who becomes your role model

She helps you navigate the world as a girl who still has a lot of growing up to do

And also shows you how to be a strong woman who can defend her friends and herself when necessary

That doesn't mean you don't spend time with Lemony and Jacques

Especially your dad always makes sure you have enough of his attention

Despite making the final decision to never shelter you from VFD, he's very protective of you

He's doing his best to make sure that the evil you might come across doesn't get to you

To balance out the fact you're learning all the time and preparing to help VFD in extinguishing fires, he allows you to attend the parties organised by the group

So you can see there's time for hard work, but also for some fun

Both Jacques and Lemony always have at least one dance with you at each party, so that you feel included

And to show everybody that you're primarily one of the family, a true Snicket

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

do quigley or duncan or their sister die? I’m on season 1 but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a clip anywhere of quigley and duncan together 😢

While the books leave it ambiguous, I do believe there is a definitive answer. Major spoilers for S3/all 13 books under the cut.

In the series!canon, Quigley reunites with his siblings on the SSHAM, and the secret code in The Incomplete History references them reuniting with the Baudelaires on Briny Beach.

In the book!canon, well... I have an unpopular opinion on this one; I believe that most, if not all of the members of the Queequeg crash survived. And this isn't just because I love the Quagmires and Fiona... I have evidence!

You see, we know that most of Snicket's knowledge of the Baudelaires' thoughts, feelings and situations were taken from their island commonplace book - A Series of Unfortunate Events- as he mentions them writing in the book. However, they could not write information they were not privy to, and all they knew about the Queequeg crash was that Kit suspected everyone was eaten by the Great Unknown. 

However, in an earlier portion of The End, when the Baudelaires are traveling to the arboretum, Snicket says that their friends (the Quagmires, Fiona probably) were "in circumstances just as dark although quite a bit damper than" theirs. "Just as dark" does not qualify death at the moment, as the Baudelaires are simply under a moral quandary and the Medusoid Mycelium has not been released yet. As well as this, they would not know if their friends were in a "damp" situation, just a "dark" one. And who would know better what situation they were in at that time than the Quagmires themselves?

As such, Snicket likely knows something we don't. As well as this, we know Kit's story doesn't always align with the truth- she claims all three Widdershins were on the Queequeg when it crashed, however Snicket stated in The Penultimate Peril that Fernald was fighting the Quagmires aboard the ship (not necessarily implicating Fernald in villainy, it's likely Duncan and Isadora just saw him and heard the kill bill sirens). 

Why would he leave their fate ambiguous? Well, considering several villains survived the Hotel Denouement, and many of them are stated to have something against the Quagmires (the Woman and Man send their eagles to sink the SSHAM home, and Esmé was in charge of their estate and helped Olaf capture them), it's likely the Quagmires want to stay as under their enemies' radar as possible. 

Adding to this, they could be trying to stay off the radar of VFD itself; VFD does not have a crystal-clear reputation, and in fact seems to have a dangerous cult-like atmosphere (best description here, but also see here, here, here). And seeing as Fernald is very disillusioned with the organization, now an enemy of both sides, he would definitely not want to be seen by them; adding to this Fiona's loyalty to him and the beginnings of her break with the organization in The Grim Grotto, she'd probably want to lay low as well. 

Duncan and Isadora also, probably, very against VFD. They found out something about it while researching, and after being captured by Olaf and the White-Faced Women, they shout to the Baudelaires that they learned about something terrible- which they immediately follow up by shouting about VFD. And considering how useless the volunteers were in rescuing them, and how they spent a lot of time with Hector, who seems to have either left the organization or be hiding from them, they almost definitely do not have a good view of it. Even though Quigley was p much successfully inducted by Jacques, he's not going to want to leave his siblings so soon after their reunion. 

All that to say, at the very least, everyone but Widdershins has good reasons to want VFD to leave them alone. So throwing out that they're alive would be dangerous for them, especially if Snicket mentioned they'd contacted him. So he likely gave some clues and left it ambiguous so as to not completely lie. 

As to how they survived? I've linked to @snicketsleuth a lot but they have a pretty good idea...

tl;dr the Queequeg and SSHAMH crews are probably alive!

[whoslaurapalmer]

what are lemony and ernest doing right now?

lemony and baby bea are staying at the hotel ernest and frank are running post hotel denouement and lemony and ernest are pretending not to recognize each other but the tension is slowly and steadily building and any moment now, one of them is going to snap, and they’ll have a dinner date, because they are classy.

(this is not my best, but i tried!!)

GASP!! no no this is perfect. of COURSE they have a dinner date; both of them ARE so classy it is no less than pretentious and candlelit. babybea picks out lemony's tie. (it is green. lemony is too touched to tell her he's never been one for green. more pressing is, in fact, where did she find the tie?) (lemony, you think your niece leaves home without a bag prepared for any event?? she's probably got a broadsword in there somewhere. it's foldable. she made it herself and she's very proud of it. don't tell violet.)

but first, let's backtrack a little --

lemony and ernest have not spoken since lemony's research for the books, which was, oh that's always a hard timeline to pin down no matter what theory you roll with, but let's say a few years ago at minimum, and it was probably very slim communication anyway. neither of them were probably in a great place to say anything more? it was very formal, barely anything, mostly confirming details. and before THAT, it was many, many years previously, when beatrice and bertrand were still alive, and of course everything was very dicey for a whole host of reasons, nearly half of them schism related. and nothing, special ever happened between lemony and ernest. nothing really at all ever happened between them, nothing like a friendship and especially not a relationship. but they looked at each other and had an understanding, back then. there was a respect, for what they stood for, even if they were not necessarily standing in the same place. and that alone was enough to make even an idle look across a room complicated. and to see each other now is -- it's a lot of things.

neither of them have ever forgotten each other. not just because they're some of the few left of their generation of vfd. how do you forget someone like lemony, especially because, no matter what lemony has done or how he's tried to hide, he's also made it so that no one could ever forget him, or what he tried to do? how do you forget someone like ernest, suspicious and untrustworthy and forgettable to the wrong eyes, but to the right ones, to the people who looked, clever and aware and charming, someone also trying his hardest to do what he thought was best? they were both very dangerous people, once. to other people, to each other, to themselves. but now most of the people that danger mattered to are dead. things are so different, so many people they knew and loved are dead. and now they're -- just two men, older than they ever thought they'd get to be, enjoying a fragile freedom neither of them thought was possible either, pretending not to recognize each other, lemony because he doesn't know if he should say anything, even if the only thing stopping him now is his own eternal anxiety, ernest because he is waiting to see how long it will take lemony to stop overthinking. and both of them are very good at waiting.

frank: why do you keep bringing that lunch table bread baskets? don't they have enough bread by now? ernest: i'm waiting for lemony snicket to stop being stupid frank: frank: wait, w h a t ernest: what do you think? five dollars for another hour, at minimum? ten? frank: w h a t ??????????????? ernest: don't tell me that's steep, you can afford it.

now, babybea poses a minor problem -- if she hasn't met the denouements at this point, this is terribly awkward, because she has not two but three total uncles engaging in a severe lack of eye contact over her head while she and one out of three uncles eat a nice hotel lunch, and eventually SOMEONE is going to go, hold the FUCK up there's a child there, but if she HAS met the denouements at this point, this is very frustrating for her, because she has three uncles engaging in a severe lack of eye contact over her head and she wants to know WHY.

babybea: uncle lemony, why does uncle ernest keep bringing us bread baskets? lemony, thinking babybea is still too young to understand the intense psychological warfare between old, friends?, while picking up a breadstick: you should never pass up an opportunity for bread, beatrice. babybea: why don't you just say hi to him? lemony: oh, well -- he's much too far away. i would not want to bother him. ernest, standing five feet away, casually leaning against a sideboard, going through the afternoon paper: hmm, might rain later.

babybea, who at this point has been given A Phone, texts sunny to tell her what's happening, and sunny sends back '🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖🥖' which babybea interprets as 'please bring the bread home'

violet: sunny, what are you laughing at? sunny: stupidity klaus: i KNEW we should've gone with them.

lunch passes, with little else happening. babybea asks frank if he's finished any new ships in bottles, his current meticulous control-based hobby of choice. he has, and they spend a nice afternoon together talking about tiny craft hobbies and different types of ships. she shows him her foldable broadsword, and he is both impressed, and concerned.

frank, on the phone: violet do you know about the -- violet: oh yes, i know about the broadsword.

so that leaves us with lemony and ernest, now engaging in what could be called high stakes hide and seek, only without quite, hiding, or, seeking. at this point, they, or just lemony in particular, i guess, have passed the 'should i do something' point and now it's more a matter of pure principle, keeping up this not talking not looking game. and ernest will never pass up a good game. they while away the afternoon wandering about the hotel, spending time in the same rooms just not interacting with each other at all, individually reading more of the paper or commenting on the weather or the food or the books in the hotel library (because of course it has a library.) (i've been in a hotel twice in my whole life. i am not. entirely clear on what they could conceivably contain.) (but also, OF COURSE they'd put a library in the hotel, for lots of reasons), just waiting for the other to break first. it's so. goodness, these two.

(let's also assume it's a slow hotel week. i did have a joke in here about other guests watching this go down, but i think it's pushing it a little.)

of course, it does start to wear on them after a while. all the not-looking. it does get silly. they wind up looking at the other when the other one isn't, looking. eventually, they find themselves in the same hallway, looking at the same painting of a frog lamp.

lemony: it's very well done. ernest: had enough, have you? lemony: i do mean it. i am afraid i don't know a great deal about art, but i think the brush strokes are excellent. ernest: ........thank you.

(i think ernest's own hobby of choice is painting. idk, i think he'd find it nice. calming.)

what is there to say? what other games are there to play, really? what do you gain by that? how do you exist as Just Two Guys At The End Of The World, When The World Is Still Going? there's a lot in here. there doesn't have to be. but there is. and it doesn't even matter to talk about it anymore, but it's still There, you know? some habits and old fears die very, very hard.

babybea, from down the hall: uncle lemony, uncle frank gave me one of his ship in a bottle kits!

but there is still so much else in the world, somehow! isn't it something.

ernest: dinner? lemony: that would be nice, yes.

SO, THE DINNER DATE. yes, lemony's green tie. ernest actually thinks it's charming, but fully agrees, it's not lemony's color. but they both look stunning in well-cut suits. they don't eat at the hotel, but go to a restaurant. again, pretentious and candlelit. wine is involved. they share a dessert. it is very much a date and also not a date, because it's a little strange, to think of it as a date, when you've just started talking to someone again. ..........but it's a date. there is a great deal of eye contact. it's very thrilling for both of them to keep looking up and finding the other still sitting there. it's one of the most terrifyingly normal things lemony and ernest have ever done. they can do normal things, now! what a world. wow.

(sunny: update babybea: they went to [restaurant name redacted] sunny: ❗❗❗😡😡😡😡😡🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐 frank, looking over babybea's shoulder, because now he has to babysit, and you KNOW frank eavesdrops on anything. can you eavesdrop on a text? you know what i mean: oh, that's unnecessary. (frank, do you even text. do you even know what an emoji is. frank.) babybea: sunny likes bread.) (anyway, sunny wants the restaurant bread too. that's a fancy restaurant.)

oh, they do bring home the bread. it is reprehensible to not take any leftover bread from a restaurant. they do have a bit of a time trying to sneak it in their suit pockets, until their waitress just hands them a bag for it. sunny gets to eat a great deal of delicious bread, the next day.

[littlestsnicket]

volunteers don’t murder people (except when they do).

volunteers don’t set out with the intention of doing harm (but sometime you come prepared for the worst and you act).

volunteers aren’t pacifists (except the ones that are) (they’re protecting the vulnerable quiet that exists in the world not trying to making more of it).

[kitsnicket]

Okay so I was thinking about how the Baudelaires seem to give up trying to get help from the adults around them a little too quick in the early series. Like, still totally in the realm of reasonable, but for kids supposedly raised in a healthy, supportive household... hmm. So THEN I got to think about why THAT could be. And then I thought about what B+B’s childhoods must have been like. And while obviously they loved their kids and I’m sure they always did their best to make sure they were safe and loved, they also were constantly aware that their kids were in danger from VFD.

Now, other, much smarter people have already talked about how this probably fed into thing like them encouraging the kids to see themselves as a unit, and telling Violet to protect her siblings. But I think about how B+B definitely had trust issues from being raised in an organization that put such an emphasis on spying and disguises and subterfuge. And how there’s no way they trusted authorities, because I highly doubt that VFD authority was warm and fuzzy with it’s members, and they of course you can’t trust the government or anything when you technically work for a criminal organization. And of course, even anyone who leaves VFD will still have all that baggage. So I imagine that B+B probably instilled a distrust of authority in their kids too. Mostly unintentionally—when Klaus is getting bullied at school, they don’t even THINK to advise him to go to a teacher, etc. But there also must have been moments where, say, Violet makes some kind of comment. I have no idea what, but something that demonstrates trust in authority, ig? And Beatrice sits her down and explains to her that sometimes you can’t trust authority figures. Most of the time, actually. And she probably got similar talks when SHE was a kid, and looking back on it she thinks that maybe the driving force behind those was self-preservation, to make sure the little volunteers don’t accidentally get them busted for VFD activity. But Beatrice is literally only trying to protect her daughter, in the only way she knows how.

Oh I LOVE thinking about how Beatrice and Bertrand’s VFD upbringing influenced how they parented. I just wanna say real quick that I’m writing the rest of this reply under the assumption/headcanon that B&B left VFD entirely because they disagreed with the organization in some big way. I don’t think we’re ever explicitly told in canon if this is the case so I wanted to make it clear I’m working off my own, non-canon thoughts for this headcanon.

While we’re not explicitly told how vfd affected their parenting, there are little moments in canon that, imo, hint at some sort of influence (I’m thinking specifically of when Violet mentions Beatrice taught her stage makeup[I think it was how to make a scar?]). It makes total sense to me. When you’re raised with certain morals and ideals, simply leaving the place/organization that instilled those things doesn’t make them go away immediately. The headcanon that VFD’s influence is still there despite B&B leaving is a perfect example of how an organization like VFD endures.

I think this is related to what lemony was talking about in ATWQ when he recited his (plagiarized) speech.

VFD has its code books and headquarters and disguise kits and other tangible things that are part of it. These things can be easily burned, torn, otherwise ruined, but none of them are VFD’s core. It’s core is the set of beliefs, morals, and ideals the members all collectively believe in and pass down to new members(brainwashing if we’re talking cults). You can’t kill the intangible. At least, not easily. Lemony was hinting at this when he said “We’ve had different names throughout history, but all words that describe us are false and all attempts to organize us fail. Right now we’re called VFD, but all our schisms and arguments might cause us to disappear. It won’t matter. People like us always slip through the net. Our true home is the imagination, and our kingdom is the wide open world”

So what did everything I said above have to do with B&B’s parenting? The headcanon that it was entrenched in VFD values means they were unconsciously ensuring VFD’s survival just simply by raising children. Despite the fact that they may have thought they were raising them as far from VFD as possible. It’s a horribly sad HC to be quite honest.

[snicketstrange]

Rereading The End Chapter 13

Chapter 13: From the moment the Baudelaire teeth bit down on the apple—first Violet's, and then Klaus's, and then Sunny's—the stalks and caps of the Medusoid Mycelium began to shrink, and within moments all traces of the dreaded mushroom had withered away, and the children could breathe clearly and easily. The hybrid apple almost instantly cures the disease caused by the deadly fungus MM. This leads me to the conclusion that Kit's death was unnecessary. Kit could have been saved if the moment Beatrice Jr had her umbilical cord cut, she ate an apple. I don't know why Violet didn't even think about it, even if it didn't work out, I think it would be good for someone to have mentioned the possibility of saving Kit. "Stockpot," Sunny said, and walked to the rack of pots on the ceiling, where the snake helped her take down an enormous metal pot that could hold a great number of apples and in fact had been used to make an enormous vat of applesauce a number of years previously." This passage makes me even more certain that Lemony had read the island book, for how else would he know that precisely that cauldron was the same one that had been used to make a particular dessert years before? Certainly he read the island book and was able to compare information previously written in the book with the new information written by the Baudelaires. "Who was playing the violin in the candlelit restaurant when the Baudelaire parents first laid eyes on one another..." This description bothers me a lot. This seems to indicate that Bertrand and Beatrice met for the first time in a restaurant, however, I believed that one of the people cited by Lemony as B in the VFD school on TBL in Lemony's childhood was Bertrand. But to think that Bertrand Baudelaire first met Beatrice a few years after she met Lemony makes more sense given that Lemony apparently didn't trust Bertrand very much. In ATWQ, the way S. talks to Lemony about Bertrand seems to indicate that Lemony didn't know Bertrand personally or at least wasn't intimate with him. Ish suggests that all islanders leave the island after being poisoned. I always imagined that Ish actually believed he could save everyone by getting to the factory that produced the poison's thinner. But rereading the chapter today, I realized that his plan was to let everyone die. Those people had failed to produce a peaceful community, and he himself had failed as a facilitator. As I said, Olaf had triumphed. Ish apparently acknowledged his defeat. But for some reason, this motivated him to let everyone die except himself. And just as some cult leaders led all the faithful to commit collective suicide by making them believe that this was the way to achieve salvation, Ish also made his faithful commit collective suicide. The deadly MM fungus wouldn't spread across the world, and Ish knew it. He would make sure everyone was dead before they reached shore.  I'm sorry for Friday... Ish has become a child killer. Friday chose to die rather than withdraw from her family's religious sect even though she was smart enough to realize that her decision would result in her own death. Daniel Handler makes the dangerous message in Ish's words very clear: "Your mother is right, Friday," Ishmael said firmly. "You should respect your parent's wishes."  This time it wasn't a suggestion: it was something Ish said Friday should do. Ish didn't want to lose any of his faithful. Ish knew that apples could heal the island people, because he had read about it in the island book. He ate the apple himself to save himself. He really decided to kill the entire colony. And everyone followed him blindly to death. But did they survive through the apple that Ink brought to them? I truly believe Daniel Handler inserted that hope here just to lessen how dark the story was. He left that question unanswered. Lemony Snicket doesn't know if they died or not. But I'm pretty sure Daniel Handler knows they're dead. People refused to eat the apple, even when they were poisoned, even with the arguments of the Baudelaires. Why would they change their minds when a serpent that doesn't speak came to the vessel? Ish didn't want people to eat the apple, he wanted them to die. Do you really think Ish would let one of the islanders eat the apple when the snake arrived? Also, how much time did the islanders have before they passed out from lack of air? The Baudelaires were infected at the same time and had almost no strength... So, in a few minutes the chance of saving the islanders through a single apple brought by a mute animal would become close to zero, considering that the only person who would still be awake and with strength would be Ish himself, who evidently didn't want anyone to eat the apple. Now let's talk about Kit again. "How reliable is Snicket a narrator?" I think this question is asked many times and there are still people who will defend one side or the other of the issue. However now I realized that maybe we were asking the right question about the wrong Snicket. Kit Snicket needs to be re-evaluated with regard to her narration being trustworthy or not. It is true that the certainty of death often makes a person very trustworthy. But there's an important detail about this: Kit wasn't sure she was going to die. Kit believed that survival was possible, precisely because the cure was so close to her. "I hope I'm half as good a mother as yours was, Violet," she said. "You will be," Klaus said. "I don't know," (Kit said)  I believe Kit's plan was to have the baby and then be a good mother to her. Despite that, she also knew she could die. Therefore, as death was not an absolute certainty, total honesty was perhaps not the only option. Now let's get back to what we actually know: 1 - Kit claimed that the Queequeg was attacked. 2 - Fernald went to Hector's mobile home with the object of attacking it and according to Lemony Snicket that's what he did. (See TPP chapter 8)- 3 - According to Olaf, the Carmelite Submarine was stolen by Fernald and Fiona. (See TPP chapter 9 In other words, while Fernald was fighting the Quagmires he had already betrayed Olaf and he had already stolen Olaf's submarine along with Fiona. Come to think of it, realize how unlikely it is that what Kit said was true. She said: "I failed you," Kit Said Sadly, and Coughed. "Quigley Managed to Reach the Self-Sustaining Hot Air Mobile Home, Just as I Hoped He Would, and Helping His Siblings and Hector Catch the Treacherous Eagles in an Enormous Net, while I met Captain Widdershins and his stepchildren." Then there's Quigley's difficult move to self-sustaining hot air mobile home. How did he do it? We don't know... But in the world of asoue amazing things are possible. But after that Kit claims that Captain W was already with his stepchildren. This contradicts Lemony's claim that Fernald was the enemy who had led the eagles to the self-sustaining hot air mobile home. So if Lemony isn't lying, (and I don't see any reason for Lemony to lie about these details when he could have just omitted it) Kit is lying. Fernald wouldn't have stolen the Carmelita along with Fiona, then gone to the self -sustaining hot air mobile home, used the eagles to attack them, then left the eagles there, returned to the submarine, met Captain W, regretted it, found Kit and then abandoned the Carmelita and then went along with Kit to help to the Quagmires. I mean... Is this possible? Yes. But this is very unlikely. Especially since Kit claimed to have been attacked. Did Kit Snicket have reason to lie? I believe so. The reason is that her hypocrisy had been exposed. When she spoke out against the mutiny, two islanders had shown the Baudelaires that she herself was also a violent woman. Now she needed to invent a story to preserve her image. In fact, even if she died there that day, she certainly wanted the Baudelaires to tell her daughter good stories about Kit Snicket. In other words, Kit wanted the Baudelaires to portray her from the best angle. So Kit Snicket lied. She denied having been attacked and taken part in a match against Fernald. If there's any truth to Kit's story, I think it's more likely that Submarine Q detected Submarine C via sonar. (After all, we saw in TGG that this is quite possible). Submarine C attacked Submarine Q. (Submarine C has tentacles that can be used as weapons at short ranges, as we saw in TGG). Kit hurt her feet in this attack, as she claimed to have happened. Fernald was on Submarine C along with Fiona. And the eagles were nearby causing problems for the self-sustaining hot air mobile home, which was right above. Then yes, the house fell on them. Then things can make sense. Both submarine C and submarine Q were hit. And then Fernald and Fiona were seen by Kit for the first time, in the water. I hope several kids also got off the C-sub in time, and Kit didn't mention them to avoid needing to give details about the fight she had with C-sub. "From the depths of the sea a mysterious figure approaching—almost like a question mark, rising out of the water." As we saw in TGG, this question-mark entity had been behind Submarine C for a long time. It was submarine C that attracted her.  An important note: I am not saying that this was Daniel Handler's intention. He probably just got confused by generating these contradictions. I am saying that, given what is written, I think this is the best explanation. "All I heard," she said, "was one of the Quagmires calling Violet's name." That phrase always made me dream. Now I understand that DH's goal was probably to somehow strengthen the love triangle between Ducan, Violet and Quigley. But he did it at such an awkward moment that it made me imagine other, more interesting things. And do you know? I still have a right to imagine. In my headcanon, one of the Quagmires saw a woman inside looking like Violet. And he got confused, thinking she was the girl. And so he asks out loud, "Violet?" to which Kit interpreted that he was screaming for Violet. And that's my big plot Twist from asoue. Beatrice was alive all along, and not even Lemony Snicket knows it. That might not be true, but for me it's the perfect ending. Chapter 13, on the other hand, goes against my selfish desires. It's a chapter devoted to accepting death, and my headcanon is the exact opposite of that. The Baudelaires and Kit mourn the death of the people they loved. And they cry a lot more than all the previous descriptions. I think Daniel Handler abandoned all ideas about the possibility that one of the Baudelaire parents could have survived, although he honestly thought about it at some point. But as I've already explained, Headcanon are valid when the author decides to let the story have a life of its own. But I have to recognize that the story is better if you just accept how the story looks. Death is surprisingly simple. So I don't think the great unknown represents death. I think the great unknown represents the open ending of asoue and uncertainty about the fate of some characters. In the end, it doesn't matter whether the Baudelaires' parents survived or not. The fact is, they never met again in recorded history. Just like they've never met the Quagmires again. All these characters are in the great unknown. And like the publication of the end, the Baudelaires themselves are symbolically in the great unknown, as it doesn't matter whether or not they survived their departure from the island: in the end we won't have access to new official adventures about them. But the beauty of the unknown is that it stimulates the imagination. And it's interesting that in my imagination, Beatrice was already inside the great unknown when one of the Quagmires saw her. So, in my own Headcanon, Beatrice's fate is uncertain. As much as I want to escape from allegories to interpret asoue, the allegory is present even though the entity in the form of a question mark is a physical entity: the name given to the entity and its shape make it a walking allegory, just like the ants are a walking allegory for organization and work. We keep thinking: if it was God who created animals like these, would he want to teach us a lesson? And if Daniel Handler is the god of asoue, did he want to teach a lesson with the question-mark entity? I think the answer is yes in both cases. So, in a universe created by someone's creativity, entities can be both physical entities and allegories at the same time. So, I think that's what TGU is. And I don't see any more problems with that. It is an interesting fact to note that Kit believed her both brothers were dead. In LSTUA we notice that Kit was trying to exonerate Lemony of the Baudelaire arson charge, even though she knew he might already be dead, which may indicate that she believed Lemony could have died in the fire itself. Kit claims that the Baudelaire family and the Snicket family needed to stay away from each other, not just Lemony and Beatrice needed to stay away from each other. These mysterious motives must surely have been detailed in the letter Beatrice wrote to Lemony.  So I don't think the wedding was canceled because Beatrice fell in love with someone else.  I don't think the wedding was definitely canceled because they were life-threatening.  I think there are organizational reasons for the Snickets and the Baudelaires to keep away from each other. Now the scene of Olaf's death. I have to say: what an epic scene! Whether it was Olaf who killed Beatrice and Bertrand we will never know for sure, but he never admitted it even when he believed he would die. He didn't seem to be willing to hide facts at the time. He seemed to me to list the things he managed to do. And Olaf always liked to brag about his murders. So for me the fire was accidental. Oalf bit the apple in order to recover from the MM fungus. He, like Kit and Ish, apparently knew that apples cure the disease caused by the fungus. He at first refused. Had he accepted death? I think so. Now: What was the relationship between Kit and Olaf? Everything indicates that it had been an old relationship. Something like a first love. Olaf did not apologize. He didn't think he was wrong. He wasn't sorry for his villainy. Kit survived for more than an hour, I am sure of it, before Beatrice could be born. A mother's willpower is really impressive. This excerpt below is for me one of the most important: "The Baudelaires would sit together in the two large reading chairs and take turns reading out loud from the book their parents had left behind, and sometimes they would flip to the back of the book, and add a few lines to the history themselves. reading and writing, the siblings found many answers for which they had been looking, although each answer, of course, only brought forth another mystery, as there were many details of the Baudelaires' lives that seemed like a strange, unreadable shape of some great unknown." This is clear proof that the Baudelaires left their own history on the island. Not only did Klaus write about it, but all three Baudelaires did, including Sunny who must have had enough time to learn to write. And Lemony knows they wrote it. I can only conclude that Lemony knows what they wrote, and it is on this basis that Lemony makes a narrative from the Baudelaires' point of view, even including an exact record of what they thought and talked privately. Another evidence that Lemony read this book is seen in the following excerpt: "As the night grew later the ould drop off to sleep, just as their parents did, in the chairs in the secret space beneath the roots of the bitter apple tree." Lemony knew details of what had happened to the Baudelaires' parents, which evidently happened when they were on the island. They themselves had written these events in the same book. Now, regarding the final section of the chapter: "In many ways, the lives of the Baudelaire orphans that year is not unlike my own, now that I have concluded my investigation. Like Violet, like Klaus, and like Sunny, I visit certain grave, and often spend my mornings standing on a brae, staring out at the same sea. It is not the whole story, of course, but it is enough. Under the circumstances, it is the best for which you can hope." I think it's pretty clear that Lemony wrote this passage while he was on the island. Lemony was visiting the same graves as he waited for an opportunity to leave the island. I will still read TBL again. So I know that Lemony wrote the letter to the editor of TBL after he learned of Beatrice Jr.'s existence. After he learned of her existence, Lemony searched for the items cited in TBL. So after that he went to the island and finished writing TE on the island. As I said, it is very likely that at this time the island was already inhabited by very nice people who did not allow apples to be removed from the island.

[when-we-drive-away-in-secret]

The Miserable Mill - Quotes

No actual Sugar Bowl references again, so this just contains the quotes pertaining to the Sugar Bowl Gen (or those suspected / confirmed to be a part of - or at least associated with - VFD)

“Other than a sign I saw once that said ‘Beware’ in letters made of dead monkeys, he ‘Lucky Smells Lumbermill’ sign was the most disgusting sign on earth” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter One

“I once loved a woman, who for various reasons could not marry me. If she had simply told me in person, I would have been sad, of course, but eventually it might have passed. However, she chose instead to write a two-hundred-page book, explaining every single detail of the bad news at great length, and instead my sadness has been of impossible depth. When the book was first brought to me, by a flock of carrier pigeons, I stayed up all night reading it, and I read it still, over and over, and it is as if my darling Beatrice is bringing me bad news every day and every night of my life.” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Two

“Sometimes, when somebody says something so strange that you don’t know what to say in return, it is best to just politely say ‘How do you do?’ ” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Two

“The guy we used to have, Foreman Firstein, was O.K. But last week he stopped showing up.” - Phil; Chapter Two

“I’m sure you’ve heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what’s on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were food on the inside would never have to comb their hair or rake a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does. Appearance matters a great deal, because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Three

“I will tell you now that the Baudelaires never saw this man’s [Sir’s] face, and neither did I, and neither will you.” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Four

“If someone offered to smuggle me out of the country in her sailboat, in exchange for free tickets to an ice-show, that would be a fair deal.” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Four

“And here’s Advanced Ocular Science, donated by Dr. Orwell, a doctor who lives in town.” - Charles; Chapter Four

“It was difficult for the children to believe that Advanced Ocular Science was going to cause them anything but trouble. [...] For printed on the cover was an image that the children recognised. [...] It was an image of an eye, and the Baudelaire orphans recognised it as the mark of Count Olaf.” - Chapter Four

“At that moment one of the children had a trick played on him which I hope has never been played on you. This trick involves sticking your foot out in front of a person who is walking, so the person trips and falls on the ground. A policeman did it to me once, when I was carrying a crystal ball belonging to a Gypsy fortune-teller who never forgave me for tumbling to the ground and shattering her ball into hundreds of pieces. It is a mean trick, and it is easy to do” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Five

“Violet picked the glasses up, and they looked like a piece if modern sculpture a friend of mine [Tatiana] made long ago. The sculpture was called Twisted, Cracked, and Hopelessly Broken.” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Five

“Dr. Orwell must have fallen behind in his appointments” - Phil; Chapter Six

“One of the worst things about Count Olaf is that his evil ways are so despicable that it is impossible to imagine what would be up his sleeve next.” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Six

“Mimes are annoying and embarrassing, but they are much quieter than mice” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Six

“My chauffeur once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I’m sure you can understand, I didn’t feel any better about it.” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Seven

“ ‘You are the eldest Baudelaire child,’ her parents had said. ‘And as the eldest, it will always be your responsibility to look after your younger siblings. Promise us that you will always watch out for them and make sure they don’t get into any trouble.’ Violet knew, of course, that her parents had never guessed, when they told her this, that the sort of trouble her siblings would get into would be so ostentatiously—a word which here means ‘really, really’—horrendous,” - Chapter Seven

“I would like to interrupt for a moment and answer a question I’m sure you are asking yourself. It is an important question, one which many, many people have asked many, many times, in many, many places all over the world. The Baudelaire orphans have asked it, of course. Mr. Poe has asked it. I have asked it. My beloved Beatrice, before her untimely death, asked it, although she asked it too late. The question is: Where is Count Olaf?” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Eight

“Dr. Orwell was a professional-looking woman who was politely inviting them inside.” - Chapter Eight

“Many of my cousins live there in the dormitory.” - Sir; Chapter Ten

“There was an extra helping of dread that Violet and Sunny felt when they begun reading Advanced Ocular Science, by Dr. Georgina Orwell. The first sentence was ‘This tome will endeavour to scrutinise, in quasi-inclusive breadth, the epistemology of ophthalmologically contrived appraisals of ocular systems and the subsequent and requisite exertions imperative for expugnation of injurious states,’ and as Violet read it out loud to her sister, both children felt the dread that comes when you begin a very boring and difficult book.” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Eleven

“The first sentence of ‘Hypnosis and Mind Control’ was ‘Hypnosis is an efficacious yet precarious methodology and should not be assayed by neophytes,’ and it was every bit as difficult and boring as the first sentence of the whole book.” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Eleven

“Even Charles tried the best he could to see Dr. Orwell, who had appeared in the doorway along with Shirley, who was lurking behind the hypnotist.” - Chapter Twelve

“But it’s a terrible thing that the Baudelaire fortune goes to you three brats, instead of to me and Shirley. We’re going to split the money fifty-fifty.” - Doctor Georgina Orwell; Chapter Twelve

“How in the world would a child know a complicated word like ‘inordinate’?” - Doctor Georgina Orwell; Chapter Twelve

“There is a loud clink! noise that a sword makes when it hits another sword—or, in this case, a tooth—and whenever I hear it I am reminded of a swordfight I was forced to have with a television repairman not long ago.” - Lemony Snicket; Chapter Twelve

“His [Klaus’] mother warned him that fishing was one of the most boring activities in the world, but found two fishing poles in the basement and agreed to take him to a nearby lake.” - Chapter Twelve

“Lemony Snicket grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. To his horror and dismay he has no wife or children, only enemies, associates, and the occasional loyal manservant. His trial has been delayed, so he is free to continue researching the tragic tale of the Baudelaire orphans for Egmont Books.” - Biographical Paragraph

“I am writing to you from inside the shack the Baudelaires were forced to live in while at Prufrock Preparatory School, and I am afraid that some of the crabs tried to snatch my stationary away form me.” - Lemony Snicket; Letter to the Editor

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

Frank/Beatrice, unrequited?

I couldn’t manage it exactly (I assume this was a request for the AU meme), because I don’t really see them as anything but a wonderful brotp, but I did produce something. Something that exceeds three sentences by... quite a bit. It’s 2000 words.

I put it on AO3 too, in case you’d prefer to read it there. Enjoy!

***

Ernest can move very silently - when he wants to, that is. Usually his modus operandi is to start talking while he is approaching you, let people know he’s coming to put them at ease even before letting his affable demeanor do the rest. It works surprisingly well, even with members of the VFD, who really ought to know better than to fall for that rather simple technique.

But tonight Ernest allows the music and chatter of the hotel ballroom to drown out the sound of his swift footsteps, which is why Frank only notices him when he appears behind Frank’s left shoulder, leaning in and speaking in his ear, just loud enough to be heard over all the noise; “She’s looking quite radiant this evening, isn’t she?”

Frank doesn’t jump, but that’s only due to his years of training, training that drilled into him the importance of not showing the sort of weakness you show when being outwardly startled by something. If they think they can surprise you and you’ll be alarmed by that, it gives your opponent the upper hand.

So Frank remains perfectly still and keeps his expression carefully blank while Ernest moves to stand by his side, where he can observe Frank better, making it easier for him to tailor his words for maximum effect if Frank shows even a modicum of emotion. He decides not to give his brother the pleasure tonight.

Now for an equally pressing issue; what the hell Ernest is talking about. Frank had been idly watching the crowd from his position at the edge of the bar, and while his eyes did have a tendency to land on a particular gentleman, that doesn’t warrant… oh. Ernest thinks he’s been looking at the man’s dance partner.

To be fair, out of the two of them, who wouldn’t be looking a Beatrice?

Frank almost smiles when he realizes the extent of his brother’s miscalculation. But only almost. He needs to decide how to respond, and the obvious choice is to confirm Ernest’s own suspicions to draw him off the scent and keep Frank’s secret carefully protected.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says, keeping his tone neutral.

Ernest does what anyone would do and takes that denial as solid confirmation that he is correct. “You can’t take your eyes off her, Frank, and you’re not being subtle.”

That much is becoming obvious, and he’s lucky that Ernest is making false assumptions based on who would be more likely to be the center of anyone’s attention, otherwise Frank would be in trouble.

He still might be, he realizes, when Ernest raises his hand and calls out “Beatrice!” loud enough to be heard from the dancefloor.

Beatrice does look radiant tonight, in a deep red ballgown that sways along with her when she waltzes across the floor, and when she sharply turns her head in their direction, her dark curls bounce, a visually appealing sight. When she locates them, she immediately turns to her dance partner and whispers something in his ear. He kisses the back of her hand and lets her go. As she approaches the two brothers, her smile grows increasingly bright, even when she’s aiming it at Ernest.

“Good evening, gentlemen,” she says once she has reached them. “You throw quite the party.”

Frank allows himself a reaction, the hint of a smile, because he actually did a lot of the planning and he is a little bit proud of the results, but mostly it’s to keep up the charade.

As he hoped, Ernest sees the change in his expression and misinterprets it once more, and out of the corner of his eye Frank can see him beaming, practically shaking with excitement at what he thinks is a surefire way to gain a new advantage over his brother.

 “My brother might be a bore most of the time, but he knows the theory behind casual human interaction and enjoyment at least,” Ernest says, “And sometimes that’s enough to plan a great party.”

 Frank lets his face darken a little at the casual insult just to keep Ernest thinking he’s winning this game.

 And he must be quite confident that he is, because he goes straight for the jugular next; “You look stunning tonight, Beatrice.” He turns to his brother. “Don’t you think so, Frank?”

 God, he is so predictable. If he didn’t know any better, Frank would think it was all a clever double bluff of some sort, rather than a serious attempt to humiliate him and make him uncomfortable.

 At least he knows how Ernest expect him to react – defensively - and he might as well give him the pleasure. “Quite,” he says, tilting his chin up a little to appear haughty.

 Beatrice purses her lips to keep from smiling, and then immediately loses the struggle and grins anyway. “Such a charmer,” she teases.

 Ernest laughs, delighted. The would-be puppet master, always so proud of his work, to the point where he doesn’t even think to stop and consider the validity of his theories once in a while.

 “Would you care to dance, Frank?” Beatrice asks, and for a moment Frank just stares at her. He hasn’t had the time to consider what game Beatrice is currently playing, and it’s disturbing his equilibrium to a worrisome degree.

 “Of course he would,” Ernest replies for him, voice laced with amusement, “He loves dancing.”

 Frank hates dancing, and everybody knows it, Beatrice included, so it is extremely frustrating when she holds out her hand in invitation. Frank considers scowling and refusing, but then remembers that he’s supposed to be secretly, tragically in love with her, and takes her hand.

 He knows how to dance, of course, they all learned the usual ballroom dances during their training. Frank happens to be quite good at it too, he just doesn’t enjoy dancing in public. Not like Beatrice, who is so eager that she’s constantly in danger of taking the lead from him.

 As soon as Frank has his hand on her waist, she leans into him and whispers in his ear, “Is he watching?”

 Frank smoothly twirls them around to the music, checking. “He is.”

 Beatrice snorts, “He’s dumber than he looks,” she says, “We might as well take advantage?”

 She’s right, so Frank pulls her closer to his body, much closer than is expected in a classic waltz. “He thinks it’s unrequited,” he tells her.

 Beatrice chuckles, finally beginning to let Frank lead for real. “Should I play into that?”

 “Would you be rude enough to look uncomfortable to be near me, if you thought I was in love with you and you didn’t return my feelings?” Frank asks.

 “Of course not,” Beatrice replies, “I’m not a monster.”

 “Then you should probably act like you’re politely playing along.”

 “We should be cheek to cheek,” Beatrice announces. “Feel free to subtly smell my hair.”

 He does so once they are turned around so Ernest can see the gesture. It smells nice, he distantly notes.

 They keep dancing until the song starts to wind down, and which point Beatrice orders him, “dip me,” and Frank does as he’s told, carefully supporting her as she leans back in an elegant arch.

 The music ends and scattered applause breaks out while the band takes the time to bow before starting the next song. Frank slowly becomes aware that a lot more eyes are on them than he’d expected, and his gut-reaction is to quickly let go of Beatrice and step back. It’s what he would do if he was secretly in love with her and didn’t want people to know, which is probably why Beatrice, always the actress, allows it.

 “Should we get you a drink?” she asks breezily.

 “Please.”

 Ernest is standing right where they left him, at the bar, and he has apparently ordered drinks for them, because Larry is already putting down glasses when they approach. The waiter gives Frank a meaningful look, then reaches for the bottle of their most expensive scotch and pours him a double. Beatrice gets the same.

 He sure that this is Larry’s attempt to help him keep up the act, he’s too observant to fall for it like Ernest is. Frank grabs the glass and knocks back the drink in a couple of mouthfuls, very aware of Ernest’s eyes still on him.

 “Mind if I claim this next dance?” he asks Beatrice while smiling slyly at Frank.

 Beatrice inclines her head gracefully. “Of course.”

 Ernest holds out his arm and Beatrice accepts it, letting him lead her onto the floor without looking back at Frank. An excellent move on her part, Frank thinks.

 He sees Bertrand coming, and even if he hadn’t, Bertrand is already talking as soon as he’s in earshot, “Good evening, Frank,” he greets pleasantly. “What was all that about?”

 Frank sighs. “Ernest thinks I’m in love with your wife.”

 Bertrand laughs, actually laughs. “Oh dear,” he eventually manages. “That’s tragic.”

 “Very tragic,” Frank agrees, eyeing Bertrand warily. He isn’t entirely sure whether Bertrand knows yet, and he doesn’t want to show his cards too soon.

 “To be fair, you were watching us quite intently,” Bertrand teases. “You can’t blame him for making some assumptions.”

 “I suppose not.”

 Bertrand smiles gently at him. “She looks beautiful tonight... -”

 “She looks beautiful every night,” Frank points out.

 Bertrand ignores him. “And I look very handsome in this tux,” he finishes.

 At this point Frank desperately wants another drink, but he probably shouldn’t be clouding his judgement further. “That you do,” he admits instead, a giant leap of faith that he normally wouldn’t make, but Bertrand is still smiling and moving a little closer to him, sliding right into his personal space.

 “Do I get a dance as well?” he asks, partially joking, partially outright flirtatious.

 Frank swallows and tries to keep his expression neutral. “I don’t think that would be the best idea.”

 Bertrand has the audacity to look disappointed before he looks understanding. “Keeping up appearances, as always.”

 “Some of us has to,” Frank says.

 For a moment Bertrand’s reaction borders on pity, but then a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “Come with me,” he says, and starts walking away without looking back to check if Frank is following him.

 Frank follows.

 Bertrand leads them to the edge of the ballroom and ducks under the velvet rope stretched across the stairs leading to the rear mezzanine, which Ernest had decided to close off for the night, probably to avoid too many areas where people could linger, scan the crowd, and have secret conversations. Tonight is supposed to be about having fun after all.

 There’s no light up here, so as long as they keep away from the edge, they’re hidden in shadow. That’s definitely the only reason why Frank allows Bertrand to place one hand on his hip, grab his hand with the other, and pull him flush up against him. Frank lets him lead them in a slow dance that doesn’t quite match the tempo of the song the band is playing below, but no one can see them anyway, no one will judge, so Frank follows without protest. Neither does he object when Bertrand gently leans into him until they’re cheek to cheek, or when Bertrand kisses him soon after.

 It’s a bit unlike Bertrand to be so forward, Frank think, as he is pressed back against the wall, but he isn’t about to complain, not with Bertrand’s lips dragging down his neck, along his jaw, finally meeting Frank’s in another heated kiss. It’s nice. More than nice.

 He sighs in disappointment when Bertrand breaks the kiss, vaguely noticing that this song is ending too. More applause from the crowd, and for a second Frank irrationally worries that someone has seen them.

 “Don’t worry. We’re perfectly safe up here.” Bertrand whispers when he notices Frank tensing.

 ‘Until my nosy brother starts looking for us’, Frank thinks, but he doesn’t say anything, mostly because Bertrand is running his fingers through his hair now, digging his fingers into Frank’s scalp and guiding him into another kiss.

 At some point Bertrand briefly lets up, only to murmur, “Hey, Frank?”

 “Yes?”

 He feels Bertrand smile against this cheek. “Happy birthday.”

[beatricebidelaire]

for day 5 of woevember of @asouefanworkevent, the masked ball

the masked ball is not a VFD event. rather, it's an old tradition of the duchess's family, passed down from one generation of the duchess to the next, like the ring with the letter R engraved upon it.

the most recent R, Duchess of Winnipeg, is a volunteer of the VFD, but her mother, the previous R, and her mother, also R, are not. (see: the end). so, naturally, duchess R (the most recent one)'s friends and associates from VFD are often invited to the masked ball, and the VFD volunteers have sometimes used the masked ball as a way of communicating with other volunteers.

however, one would be mistaken if one thinks that no VFD members have ever attended the masked balls held by R's mother, or grandmother, or great-grandmother, and so on. like R's family, and her family ring, VFD has been around for a long time. the Duchess's masked ball has always been quite popular event amongst the high society, and oftentimes influential people would attend, and previous generations of VFD members have also sometimes attended the ball for various different purposes, even if the Duchess at that time is not a VFD volunteer

R continues to hold the masked ball regularly, even amidst the schism, even if sometimes enemies of the volunteers also managed to sneak into the ball for nefarious purposes. it's an event that people who's on the lam or rumored to be dead may show up, since everyone's in masks with a proper reason. it's a time when old associates can meet.

in some way, it signifies hope - the hope of being able to meet an associate you have not been able to contact for sometime, the hope of the chance to confirm that a family member is safe and sound

year after year, as various members of VFD and its enemies meet their demise, fewer and fewer associates and enemies of R's show up at the masked ball each time. some of them she knows for a fact are confirmed dead - M for one. and G. and also G - not that it's ever quite clear whether she stood on the schism.

R continues hosting the masked ball, if she's able to at that time. L appears less and less frequently, but despite various "confirmations" of his death, he's possibly the one who's most likely to still be alive, since all those so-called confirmations are flimsy at best, featuring blurry pictures that could've been anybody in a hat.

sometimes she knows that L has showed up and left before they had a chance to talk, and she knows this because she would find little messages from him that he's left behind. an encrypted code on a little note hidden under the accordion, for instance, that can only be decoded if one is well-versed in poetry

when L's brother J first fell out of contact, and soon it's been said that nobody has been able to reach him, at first R thought he's just gone on the run like L did. perhaps planning to fake his death. she had hoped he would show up at her ball sometime soon - but he never did. instead, the daily punctilio featuring the death of olaf at some faraway village with the picture of J brought the worst news.

and then came the fire of hotel denouement, and also K who lost contact after that. barely any of R's associates or enemies show up for a long time, after that.

until one day L appears again - not at a masked ball, but just one a normal day - with his niece. kit and dewey's daughter, beatrice.

the little girl made a lot of efforts to find and reunite her family - including the children of beatrice and bertrand that R's heard so much about but have never met, and lemony, and dewey's triplets.

having old friends again at the next masked ball gives her a certain ache of nostalgia, but she's also so very glad to be able to see them again, after all these years, and away from their VFD identities that's bound them tight when they were younger. she's also so delighted to meet the kids - although maybe violet and klaus can hardly be called kids, now. they're older than when R and her friends had been getting drunk at the masked ball, decades ago.

everyone dress up for the masked ball. beatrice and sunny have never attended such a formal event and the girls are very thrilled. beatrice tells R that violet has taught her how to draw fake scars as R finds a costume for her, and R gets reminded of beatrice - the other beatrice, the first beatrice, whom violet must've learned the skill from.

sunny wears a pair of butterfly wings that once belonged to her mother. frank tells the story of how beatrice and kit used to pull the trick where beatrice wears the fancy wings and distract everyone's attention and kit uses the chance to do something discreetly as everyone's attention is focused on beatrice. sunny and beatrice listen attentively in wonder.

beatrice asks if her father attended the masked ball too - she's learned that his existence is mostly a secret, but considering that at a masked ball everyone can put on a mask, maybe this is his chance?

R confirms that dewey does indeed attend the masked balls sometimes. and that he and bertrand always manage to find each other, no matter what kind of masks they have on. "the elephant poem," sunny says, remembering what dewey has told her and her siblings.

"exactly," ernest says. "i've actually tried to pretend to be dewey once by reciting the poem to him. but B soon recognized me."

r: "were you actually surprised?" ernest, fondly nostalgic: "i guess not. he was always able to tell us apart."

[lucifers-horror-harem]

21 & 37

ahhhh thanks for the questions pal!!! :D

21. Describe your best friend. 

I’m gonna do my irl friend for this. While she has introverted tendencies she is way more extroverted than me. Will make grandiose plans out of nowhere. Always down for new experiences. Incredibly loyal. If you reach out for help she’s always there to help, even if it might take her a bit because of her own life. Has dealt with a lot of personal struggles and is one of the strongest people I know.

37. Have any tattoos? 

Yes actually!!! I have the VFD eye from A Series of Unfortunate Events on my inner left ankle, and got it as a matching tattoo with my sister to display our love of the series. I started reading it when it was originally getting released so it’s been a big part of my life and kind of shaped me as a writer tbh. Here it is!!!

[scoobydoominuscoobydoo]

An older ask had asked you how you would rewrite return to zombie island. How would you rewrite scoob?

Oh I’ve already put some thought into this while I was actually watching the movie simply because I was thirty minutes in and didn’t see it getting better.

The first change I would make is that I would get rid of the whole beginning scenes with them as kids. We didn’t need it and it literally added nothing to the story. You can convince your audience that the characters are close without needing to completely illustrate why.

I would definitely open the film up with them probably in mid-chase at the climax of a mystery because that’s just how you need to open up a Scooby movie. Right from the beginning this is where I would introduce the character conflict. Maybe after they’ve caught the guy and the police are commending them they wouldn’t really have anything to say to Shag and Scoob (who are probably disheveled and starving from running for their lives once again). Shaggy and Scooby have never felt bad about being cowards so I doubt this would really hurt them that much (maybe annoy them at the most). But it identifies where the story is going to focus.

We’d then move into some transitional scenes where you can watch how the gang’s dynamic works and this is where you sell their friendship. This ain’t just a Scooby and Shaggy movie, this is a whole gang movie (the central conflict just stems from Shaggy feeling under appreciated). So their relationships are an important part of getting the audience to care what happens. I would say you subtly show how Shaggy might break up little arguments or remind them to eat. Nothing in your face, more or less it would be weaved in with the gang’s standard banter.

Then we’d get to the gang talking about turning MI into a legitimate business by finding investors and stuff. I think this would be a good opportunity for a montage scene where we get to see a lot of other Scooby/HB characters without it taking too much out of the story (this is where I would show the Blue Falcon and Dyno Mutt). All of them seem to reject the proposition though. I didn’t have major issues with Simon Cowell because random celebrity cameos have always been a Scooby thing but I mean.... Why Simon Cowell of all people? I feel like there are way more suitable celebs to choose from. I feel like it would be funny if they brought in one of the actors from the 2002 live action film (playing themselves) and everyone is just like: “Who the heck is this?” And then Shaggy (who always knows who everyone is) just goes: “Um??? You uncultured swine??? That is obviously Linda Cardellini!” And then she’s the one who is finally willing to invest but says she’ll only do it if Shag is out (Scooby can stay because animal mascots are in and it doesn’t get anymore in than a talking Great Dane).

And the gang gets all offended at this and Linda (it doesn’t have to be Linda but for all intents and purposes I’m just saying it is) will just be like, “Fine, I’ll give you my money if you can tell me what he does for you. For your team.” 

And they’ll all stay silent, trying to think of something and that’s when Shaggy finally takes it personally. It’s one thing to be judged by people he hardly knows. But for his best friends to be given like the easiest ultimatum and they can’t even deliver on it? He wonders if he’s being taken for granted. He decides he is and explodes. Shaggy never explodes so it freaks the gang out.

I think he’d call them out for not considering his constant submission into being the bait as a contribution - despite the fact that he always states that he’ll never do it again. But of course they wouldn’t count that because they’re always too focused in on the details to miss the big picture in front of them. Because, ultimately, that is what Shag adds to the team. Daphne, Fred, and Velma tend to get so wrapped up in the small factors that they sometimes miss the obvious. And that’s when Shaggy will point out the big thing that they’re missing. Shag has always been big picture over nuts and bolts so of course he’s the one to bring up the primary detail missed. This has been an element in almost every single show so I feel like it’s funny that it’s never been spelled out.

Velma is a little hot-head who doesn’t love being demoralized by anyone so she might say something uncalled for and that’s when Shaggy walks out and Scoob follows suit. That’s a pretty major conflict to take up the runtime so there you go. 

Shag and Scoob being pissed at the gang makes a little more sense now and can be further elaborated and expand into Shag’s self-confidence issues. It’s at this point that the two of them can get kidnapped by an unrevealed villain because why the heck would I take the mystery out of it? 

It wouldn’t be by a group of semi-sentient robots because this the 70′s or 80′s and technology wouldn’t be that advanced. Instead, I’d shoot for classic, masked henchmen (maybe disguised as horrifying Greek gods or something) who swipe Shag and Scoob from the bowling alley without even giving them a chance at a comedic chase scene because the audience is supposed to feel unnerved.

We’d cut back to the gang, 1/3 of them a little steamed and the majority feeling bad for selling their best friend short. It’s revealed that they didn’t take the investment offer because there’s no way they would further exclude Shaggy from anything. They decide that they should let everyone cool down before they go and talk things out and while that’s happening Daphne is trying put together a list of all the things Shag and Scoob add to the team. She gets even more upset with herself because this is their best friend and this shouldn’t be that hard. 

In the background, Fred and Velma start arguing and it would act as a kind of callback to the beginning where we see Shag break up their bickering. But since he’s not here the fight begins to escalate and it���s only when they start yelling that Daphne comes between them. Then her face lights up and she gingerly adds that to the list. 

As the movies cuts back and forth between Shag and Scoob’s perspective and the gang’s perspective the list gets longer.

Speaking of, Shag and Scoob are being kept prisoner at the abandoned carnival because that’s always an interesting set-piece that just so happened to be totally pointless in the actual movie. At some point the two of them are split up and this is when it’s hinted that the kidnappers where originally aiming for just Scooby but Shag was also there so they just rolled with it. But because Shaggy isn’t important to them, nobody is really guarding him anymore (they were originally guarding him because Scooby was with him). 

Scooby being taken is the motivation he needs to try and escape and save his dog (in his head he’s pretty sure these whackos are gonna freaking sacrifice his dog to the powerful god of all things creepy). His escape attempts would be interspersed between scenes of the gang looking for him, and Scooby being intimidated by the masked big bad (who is of course explaining the plan in great detail). The gang’s hunt for their guys would be a lot more difficult since they can’t just Life 360 up where he is. It would rely more on visual clues, eyewitness testimonies and choppy security footage, which is overall more engaging and gives the gang an actual thing to do.

While Shaggy is formulating an escape he’s able to pick up bits and pieces of what the crazy people want to do with Scooby and this acts as him getting closer to finishing a puzzle. But he doesn’t analyze the puzzle pieces he gets and tries to guess what the puzzle will look like, that’s not his area or his goal at the moment.

In a big triumphant moment, Shaggy escaping and the gang figuring out where he is happen at the same time. This gets the spirits high before things go wrong again.

And when I say wrong - I mean the gang get capture by the villain. Shaggy isn’t aware of this as he’s sneaking around the carnival grounds trying to figure out where someone would keep the actually important prisoner. I feel like a comically large circus tent would be a cool location for the climax of a movie Scooby’s probably in there. But when Shag gets there he’s quick to hide (like under the seats or something) and this is how he’s able to finally see the whole puzzle put together.

The gang escapes rather quickly because say what you will about Danger Prone Daphne but she’s just as good at getting out of tough situations as she is at getting into them. And so begins the epic journey to find their boys (they escape and Velma just instantly goes, “It’s obviously the huge circus tent.”). And at this point it’s like a One Piece arc and all you want is the whole gang to be reunited again. But first we need a fun scene of the VFD trio trying to evade the henchmen to like a Smash Mouth song or something because remember this is Scooby-Doo.

Shaggy realizes he has to do something fast otherwise his dog is going to be used to open the Underworld. He runs out of the shadows without any real plan with just the goal of taking down the bad guy. But he doesn’t get there in time and the whole tent like erupts into green and blue flames as Cerberus stomps out of the gates and Shaggy is just frozen in place. The masked guy seems a tad surprised to run into Cerberus so fast but is quick to gain control of the beast. He orders the monster to start wreaking havoc on a nearby town something, he doesn’t care so long as he can enter the Underworld without distraction.

But before he can do that, he gets jumped by Shaggy who’s really only trying to keep him pinned down while he comes up with a step two. But Mr. Mask has some fight in him so it becomes this epic struggle between Shaggy, Scooby, and the bad guy while the place is still on fire and we have an epic orchestral score playing in the background.

Right when it seems like the villain has the upper hand, Daphne comes in and like roundhouse kicks him in the head, and he’s out cold. And before Shag and Scoob can react they’re dogpiled by the other three and it’s very heartwarming.

Fred eagerly ties the perp up and then we get our unmasking and it’s Scrappy-Doo!!! Just kidding that’d be stupid. I’m really not sure who would be the best surprise villain but if anyone has a good idea for one please let me know!

When the bad guy comes to, Velma starts shaking him to tell them how to get Cerberus back into the Underworld and how to close the gate. He reveals that all you need to do is whistle and he’ll go home (Cerberus is Hades’ domesticated puppy so obvi that would work). Maybe we get a gag where someone tries to whistle but it’s too hot in the tent for it to work and they’re like: “Does anyone have like some water?” And then Shaggy just rolls his eyes and whistles and boom, big angry puppy comes home. 

Daphne smiles and says, “I’m gonna have to add that to the list.” And Shag is like, “Like, the list of what?” And she explains that the gang has been putting together a list of all the things he brings to the team and it makes him happy that they’re putting in the effort.

We cut back to Velma torturing the info out of our mask on how to close the gates and he just evilly laughs and only a dog or dog’s best friend can close the gate. But, unfortunately, the gate will take them back down to the Underworld. The gang just sits in shock because there is no better option there.

But without missing a beat, Scooby decides he’s gonna do it and runs for the lock. He’s about to put his paw on the thingy when Shaggy beats him to it and nobody even gets a second to process before he’s sucked in and the gate vanishes.

The whole gang run to the spot where the gate used to be and Daphne falls to her knees crying, Scooby is digging at the ground trying to get to the gate and Fred has to get him to stop.

“I never even got to give him the list...” And Daph pulls it out and just drops it on the ground. Velma is on the verge of tears as she adds, “I still owe him an apology. I owe him a lot of apologies...” And as Fred is comforting Scooby he says, “We all do...” The scene ends with the gang all hugging Scooby and the list bursts into flames and disappears.

Then we cut to Shag in the Underworld and he’s just leaning against the gate and crying because what else is he gonna do? “At least I was finally useful to them...” He thinks and slowly begins to walk around and is surprised to see that the Underworld is prettier than he expected. 

“Thank my wife. She’s always looking for ways to brighten this place up so I don’t feel so miserable when she’s gone. “

Shag screams bloody murder and jumps like a ten feet before turning around and seeing a dude in a chiton. Surprise surprise, it’s Hades (Who can also be a celebrity cameo whatever). We get some nice banter before Hades holds up something and asks, “Is this yours?” 

Shaggy looks down and sees that it’s a piece of paper, he shakes his head.

“Really? Because it mentions you an awful lot.”

Evidently it got snagged on the way down and ended up in Hades’ lap - he’s certain he wouldn’t have even noticed that Shaggy was there if it weren’t for that. And then Shag’s face lights up and he realizes it must be the list, as he reads it we cut to all of the times Daphne thought to write these down on their trip. Finally he believes that he’s useful to the team, that he is a valuable part of the gang. 

Hades looks at him and just says, “How do they survive without you?” 

And Shag just shrugs and goes, “Believe me, like, I have no idea.”

Hades smiles and replies, “Then you best not keep them waiting.” Before snapping his fingers and poofing Shaggy back home.

When he gets there, the gang are slowly making their way out of the tent so they don’t see him. So Shag takes the opportunity to say, “I read y’all’s list.” And everyone instantly makes a 180 turn with their eyes super wide and he continues, “You know I think you missed a few but it’s the thought that counts.” And then we get dogpile number two of the movie.

The final scene is the gang opening up Mystery Inc. and them asking Shag where the entertainment is and he’s just like, “I asked our surprise investors to put something together for us...” And then we get the Hex Girls performance we deserve and I can totally buy them investing in Mystery Inc. because they freaking love Shaggy and Scooby so.

We get an ending shot of the gang going off to solve their first monetized mystery (we could have like a soft instrumental version of the first theme song playing) and then we fade to the end credits where we get the What’s New Scooby-Doo theme.

[whoslaurapalmer]

cat burglars + 1, 2, 9, 11 and 12 !!

1) what inspired you to write the fic this way?

the prompt i was writing it for already asked for a 'vfd assignment,' and i thought the most fun way to accomplish would be if i styled it after 13 suspicious incidents. vfd assignments can be........hard?? to try and pin down??? i mean they are and they aren't detective work. they're something a little more than that, more, vague and fragmentary, little incidents, passing notes, getting information. but they're also, really, detective work. so i figured the 'assignment' would have to be something like that, and it got me thinking about 13 suspicious incidents, and i really like the format of those stories. i reread it and wouldn't turn to the back until i'd figured out each mystery myself (i. never remember their endings anyway.) and mapped out the structure of the one with the missing dog, to give myself a sense of where the beats were supposed to be and what clues i should do. a theft also Seemed To Have Interesting Stakes without Being Too Heavy. especially because the point is that lemony and theodora have been given an apprentice's assignment, so it would be like something they'd already investigated in atwq.

2) what scene did you first put down?

it's a toss up between the opening, and lemony and theodora's conversation in the first ending. don't remember which one exactly. their conversation was to me The Whole Point of cat burglars, it was what i most wanted to write and one of the pieces i worked the longest and hardest on. the fic was always going to go there, and there were things they needed to say to each other that had to be in there, and for the longest time i would just work on that conversation and i had literally nothing else of the fic done and no idea what the mystery would be at all.

9) were there any alternate versions of this fic?

it was always pretty much going to turn out like it did? i didn't consider like, any other styles or ways for the plots to go. there ARE some, i guess alternate versions of lemony and bertrand's conversation while they wait in the apartment. that scene i rewrote more than lemony and theodora, because they either said the wrong things or were too on the nose. oh i think i've said this before, the last time i talked about cat burglars. just a lot of rewriting over and over, trying to get the scene to go where it needed.

there was also some decent rewriting of some of lemony's lines because i felt he was being too mean to bertrand, and that just didn't sit right with me. i've said before, i don't think lemony is mean. there's a fic out there about lemony and bertrand that is otherwise absolutely excellent and has one of my favorite lemony and bertrand conversations and has fascinating lemony characterization but also contains a line i think is radically out of character for lemony, where i personally think he is much too mean. that was what i wanted to avoid.

there was ALSO going to be an additional end piece, where lemony talked to beatrice afterwards, but i didn't know what they'd talk about, and i wanted to end the fic on bertrand and lemony. because it's very much about them, as well.

11) what do you like best about this fic?

i love ALMOST EVERY SINGLE INCH OF THIS FIC, i love the mystery, i think i dropped very nice hints about alice lyre, i think my lemony voice was very on point, i think bertrand is pleasantly charming, theodora is terrible but not aggravating, peaches is an absolute delight. it felt to me like the tighest fic i'd written in a while, in terms of just, the actual narration and writing. ellington fic and proserpine, which came before it, still feel too rushed to me and like they just messed up my writing for a while, and even though i rush a little at the end of all of my fics, i was able to be a lot more chill with cat burglars and it came out so nice and i am very, very proud of it.

12) what do you like least about this fic?

THAT BEING SAID i think i could've picked something more interesting to have happen than theodora driving peaches and the boys around in her car???? i think the fic drags there. i think i could've hinted about alice lyre being in the basement better -- it's very thin and it wasn't what i wanted to do, i'd specifically written that idea in my notes and went 'no that sucks' but used it anyway because i couldn't think of anything else. and lemony and bertrand's last conversation in the diner could've, not so much been longer but had more to it. they just kind of APPEAR in the diner!!!! i think there's some repeated words and i don't like that!!!! just could've been a little smoother.