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hemipenal-system · 6 months

Note

You seem very eager to let us know how the inside of your draconic stomach looks and feels... But for those of us unlucky enough to be within biting range, could you describe it, perhaps?

sure! (this is gonna become a lore post lmao)

So You Got Eaten By A Dragon. Here's What To Expect:

Mouth:

dragons, being omnivores, have both cutting and crushing teeth. be careful to not get stuck between them! there's a lot of bite force there! most dragons you'll encounter are large enough to eat you comfortably, so as long as you don't thrash around and scream and make yourself hard to eat, the teeth won't be a problem.

the tongue, on the other hand. expect a lot of coiling and grabbing at you as the dragon manipulates you in its mouth, moving you into a position that'll be easiest to get down. you may be in the mouth for a while, depending on whether the dragon wants to savor you or just swallow you immediately. dragons, like cats, have tongues designed for grooming and pulling meat off bones, so expect a significant amount of force behind each gradual lick as the rough, spiked muscle sweeps along your comparatively small body. dragon saliva is the acting component in their flames, and it's thick, incredibly pungent, and sticks to the skin. you'll likely want to shower after any interaction with a dragon's tongue.

depending on the dragon, it may use its tongue to take your clothes off. some dragons get upset stomachs from their prey's clothing. you don't need to panic about that, or expect anything sexual – though some dragons may be alright with that! just ask, and remember, consent is key!

if the tongue coils around you a bit, don't worry! dragons instinctively coil themselves around each other and their valued possessions. it's a sign of affection, and that extends to their tongues. just lie still and let them show they love you! dragon tongues are very large and it can be a bit scary at first but they don't want to hurt you!

Throat:

so you've been swallowed! the most important thing is to not panic. it's definitely a weird feeling, but flailing around can hurt the dragon! holding still is safest for the dragon and you!

dragons have proportionately long necks compared to humans. when swallowed, you'll likely experience a long, slow slide down as its throat ripples around you, strong waves squeezing and gently pushing you downwards. it's damp, and usually dark, but you're very safe, even if it doesn't seem like that to you.

from here, there are two places you can go: dragons have the standard stomach for digestion, as well as a sort of pre-stomach, nicknamed the crop, that sits at the bottom of the throat, similarly to that of many birds (and gryphons, but that's a different post)

Stomach I:

a dragon's crop is used to hold and bring back pre-chewed food for hatchlings by their parents before they're old enough to chew themselves. however, at the moment it's going to be repurposed for keeping you nice and secure. this is the safest part of the dragon to be in, especially long-term.

compared to the rest of the dragon, the crop isn't large. In adult dragons, it can only fit one, maybe two people in it. think of it as being cozy! since it's at the base of the neck, the musculature is fairly dense there, since a dragon's neck has some of the strongest muscles in its body. you should expect it to squeeze around you, soft walls locking you in place. it won't be enough to damage you, but it'll likely be fairly firm, since most dragons instinctively squeeze their first stomach when it's full to make sure everything stays in place while they fly.

unlike the throat, which may retain some vestiges of light, the crop is dark. unless the dragon you're in has some kind of bioluminescence, you likely won't be able to see anything. it's also incredibly damp, thanks to the glands in the crop that secrete a weak enzymic fluid. it won't hurt you at all, though, since your skin is tough enough to repel it. worst case scenario, you'll get a bit red. you will get absolutely slathered in this slime, though. no one gets eaten by a dragon and comes out dry.

the trick for the crop is just to relax and enjoy the experience. it's like climbing into a dark, wet sleeping bag that seals itself to your body and is incredibly protective of you while you're inside. once you acclimate to the feeling of the damp flesh pulsing and twitching around you, it's supposedly very calming. it's fairly common for humans to fall asleep to the gentle vibration of their dragon purring around them.

once you're ready, the crop will flex and open around you, lifting you back into the throat, which will either guide you up and out of the dragon's mouth, or down into...

Stomach II:

the dragon's second stomach is more similar to a human's, being where the digestive process takes place. it's entirely possible to be here long-term and survive unmelted, but unlikely. for most things that end up here, the intent is to fully digest them for nutrients.

should you somehow end up here, it doesn't necessarily mean you're doomed. many dragons who consume curious humans have carefully tested magic to bring their tenacious explorers back, so being digested is usually not that permanent.

the digestion stomach, depending on dragon size, can be as large as a small room or the interior of a car. it has a moistness to the air, which has a strong organic smell. there are usually just a few feet of acid on the floor, unless they've just finished another meal, in which case some residual acid may still be there.

dragons eat large meals and digest slowly, so the acid isn't as strong as in some other species. you can sit down in it and it'll just itch a bit after a few minutes. by fifteen minutes in, you may see some redness with severe itching. acid reactions aren't usually the thing to worry about, however.

unless the dragon is actively pushing more air down into their stomach, the lack of oxygen will get to prey faster than the acid will. it's not scary, really, just a seeping tired feeling. you'll want to lay down in the slightly itchy hot tub water, your back leaning against the gently moving soft wall, and close your eyes. many dragons who plan to bring someone back from this stage will be talking to them, coaxing them through the process, keeping their nervousness from getting too bad.

it's easy enough to fall asleep. you're getting so tired, and the acid is faint enough that it doesn't burn, only tingle a bit, even as more drips from the walls and ceiling and the water level begins to rise up your legs slightly. when you sit back, the soft walls curl around you a bit, giving you a nice warm hollow to rest in. they're talking to you, calm words assuring you you'll be alright. you're perfectly safe, they promise. they would never let you do this if it could actually hurt you...

you just have to let your eyes flutter closed...

Outside:

...and then you wake up, sprawled out on the grass in the field, or tucked into the covers in the massive bed you share, or laying across their claws in front of the fireplace. their massive tongue is licking the digestive fluids off you, attempting to clean you, but only slathering you further in saliva. it's the thought that counts. you can see in their eyes they care about you and they're overjoyed that you're alright even though they knew you would be, because there was just a moment before you started breathing again that they worried about you.

their first question is always are you alright

the second one is did you have fun, accompanied by a jaunty third-eyelid wink and a sly, toothy grin

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selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 5 months

Text

My Dear Sweet Home

Self-Aware! Sigma x GN! Reader

Description: You need a helper for one task. You talk.

Fluff. Hurt/Comfort. Give Sigma home he deserves

Sequel to Reading to him

Prequel to Art Forgery

Warning: OOC. English is my second language

A/N: Reader from one shot series getting bits of lore. The next part of"We will protect you" will elaborate a little on it.

_______

"[Y/N], do you think, this place will be my home?" Sigma's voice was quiet. You stopped marking the furniture in the catalog and looked at Sigma.

The table before you were covered in furniture catalog. Some of them you already looked through, others were waiting for their hour. Alcott, who brought this catalogs, overdid herself, by bringing two backpacks full of pamphlets.

And it was your job to look through it.

Fitzgerald finally found the house, that was big enough for all of you. And, he offered you to look through the catalogs and looked at the furniture for new house. And you immediately rope Sigma into helping you. His opinion about what to put in the new house deserved to be heard.

You two sat next to each other on the couch, looking through countless furniture catalogs.

Everything went well, until this moment. You were looking through decor part of the catalog, where all this "Home Sweet Home" things were displayed.

And Sigma asked his question. You put pen and catalog down. Sigma was waiting for your answer.

"Beg pardon?" His home? Is Sigma thinking, that you will kick him out? Or forget him in this apartment? He looked sad, nervous. And... hopeless. He looked at you, his eyes looked tired. Sigma point at picture of the house and a building plan.

"Will this place be my home? Will I finally found home?" you didn't answer at first. Sigma spoke again. "I knew, you already have home, so, my question may sound dumb to you, but, please, can you answer me?"

Home... Do you even have a home?

He looked like he was ready to plead. Your own thoughts swarmed your mind. You licked your lips and spoke.

"What is 'home' for you, Sigma? I need to hear it, before I answer your question."

Sigma looked at the distance, thinking.

"It's a place, where I belong. Where I feel safe. Where I can find people, that don't want to use me. Where I can be happy."

You feel tears in your eyes. You try to wipe them as stealthy as you can. In that definition, you also don't have a home anymore. Only a house. Should you share some of it with Sigma?

Not should. You must.

"Then both of us must hope, that new house will be our home, Sigma." your voice was soft. Sigma looked at you, baffled.

"But, this place... And you mentioned your family... Aren't you..."

You laughed. The laugh was hoarse and mixed with sobs. You wipe your tears again. You start talking, slowly, carefully choosing the words.

"My family don't want to see me. Ever since I promised to do something during last family reunion..." You chew your lips. Sigma looked like he wanted to ask more. You elaborate a little. "Nothing Illegal. Moreover, one day, I will be in the right to do it. But, my family didn't want me to do it."

Sigma looked confused.

"What do you want to do?" You looked guilty. But you can't tell him or others right now. You shook your head.

"Sorry. I can't tell for now. It's a long story. Something terrible happened in my childhood. And, what I am planning to do is connected to what happened. I am not ready to tell about it." After a few moments of thinking, you add. "I promise, one day I will tell you and others about my past. But, sorry, not today."

Sigma looked like he wanted to say something, but, he simply nodded, showing, that he understands. You decide to continue your speech about not having a home.

"Ever since I tell them my decision, they constantly remind me, that I am not welcomed in my parent's house. That I am not welcomed in any family gathering." You take a breath. "Mom doesn't agree with then, but, there are too many of them. And every call with them ends in futile attempts to make me change my decision."

You looked at Sigma again.

"So, I don't belong, I don't feel safe, people want to use me, and I am not happy. I don't have a home. And that" you slap one of the walls. "I am renting this place, and, I don't think I will stay here, after I graduate."

You leaned back on the couch. You were silent. The familiar sense of loneliness crept into your soul. You forced yourself to speak.

"I hope that new house will be a home to you, Sigma. And that it will become my home as well."

You reached out to Sigma, taking his hand in yours.

"I hope, that we will find our home. Both as in a place, and as in people."

Sigma scoots closer to you. He gave you a side hug and put his chin on your head. He squeezed your hand.

"I... Back in the app... I hoped that my home will be next to you. And I think, that's how it will be. [Y/N], let's find our new home together."

You turned your face a little and nuzzle his neck. On a whim, you kissed his cheek.

"Deal, Sigma."

Sigma chuckled.

"No problem, Cookie Heart."

You chocked on air. How did he call you? You feel, how your cheeks became warmer.

Noticing your face expression, Sigma blushes.

"Sorry! Just... All of us have a nickname for you, besides Guiding Light. And, I thought that moment was appropriate..."

You blinked a few times and smiled.

"Don't worry. If you want, you can call me that." you mentally repeated your new nickname.

'Cookie Heart... Cute'

The moment between you and Sigma were interrupted by Steinbeck's voice, who called from the kitchen.

"Sigma, [Y/N], are you going to join us for lunch? Or you two decide to skip lunch and bury your noses in the catalogs?"

You and Sigma glance at each other. Then Sigma stands up.

"We are coming. Shall we, Cookie Heart?" he held his hand towards you. You took it.

"We shall... Sigma, I want to promise you something." You looked at the former casino manager. Sigma raise an eyebrow, waiting for you to speak.

"I promise, that I will never ask you to use your ability. Friends don't use each other. Family don't use each other."

Sigma didn't look surprised. He hugged you.

"I knew, that you will say this. Back then, you also promised that I won't be used."

You stay like this for some time. After another shout from the kitchen from John, wondering if the 'two turtles get lost', you two finally go to the kitchen.

#self-awarebsd #self-awareau #bungou stray dogs au #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd anime #bsd x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #sigma x reader #sigma bungou stray dogs #bsd sigma #sigma x you #sigma x y/n #Self-Aware Sigma

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anonymous-dentist · 5 months

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saw that you had some discussion about the pepito retconning and otipep. i was very surprised to see people hating it so much, and am disappointed by it being retconned.

i read the situation as pepito throwing a tantrum, because pepito is a small child and small children do stuff like that all the time. not pepito not actually wanting roier as a parent. little kids are dramatic all the time.

otipep does not exist and never existed, regardless of retcon. it was the explanation roier made to explain to himself why his child was having a tantrum because he wasn’t in a place where he could deal with it. it’s not reality, they’re not separate characters. it’s just pepito.

You see, the thing about Otipep is that he directly insulted the streamer, and he refuse to "Yes-And" with him, and that's the number one thing in any kind of improv storytelling. They were a different admin from what the audience and Roier were used to, and that's fine, we're used to it. What isn't fine is that Otipep refused to work with Roier and insulted him and ignored him and walked away every time ccRoier tried explaining what he and Admin 07's Pepito had been doing for the past few days. Call it a tantrum, that's fine, but it's also a dick move when it's your literal job to work with the streamers to tell a story. Look at the way other eggs have thrown tantrums, and then look at Otipep.

You'll be hard-pressed to find a Hispanic fan that actually liked the Otipep Day and that's because Otipep came in and immediately and actively destroyed days' worth of storytelling and wrecked a cc's attempts at a story to the point of the cc giving up on the rp for the day and going to build and even getting off the server a little earlier than planned because like? Okay? Sure, destroy yet another one of Roier's planned Lores, it's not like people have been doing that since the first week of the server.

The only people that I've seen defending Otipep at all have been English-Onlies who saw Otipep's English sign and bed basically screaming to the world "ROIER IS A TERRIBLE FATHER AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO ADOPT ME! PREFERABLY SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS ENGLISH BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I TYPED THIS SIGN IN! NOT THE LANGUAGE ANY OF MY PARENTS SPEAK!"

And what happened after people saw that sign? Well, English fans all went "Well this obviously proves that Roier is a terrible father and that Bad should adopt Pepito instead. He's been a bad father all along, and he's just as evil and insane as Cellbit is." This, in turn, started the process of the Hispanic fandom yet again losing a character on the server; at this point, it's legit just Roier and Quackity because Pol isn't allowed online for Lore Reasons and qMaxo is dead and everybody else just doesn't log on as often. Do you see the problem here?

Roier describing Otipep to Richarlyson legit made Richas' admin go "WHAT????" because that was Not professional behavior on Otipep's Admin's part. And that's the biggest thing here, I think: the lack of professionalism at play when you're hired to play your part and work with people "in the spotlight" (aka the streamers) but you aren't cooperating at all. It's like going to work at a grocery store and being told you're working the registers that day and going "No, actually, I'm going to stock shelves". You don't do that at work, and you definitely don't do that live on stream in front of 10k+ viewers.

I work in childcare. I know a tantrum when I see it, and Otipep could be seen as one. But you have to keep in mind the meta aspects here and think, wow, this is fucked up from a meta perspective! Going out of your way to ruin the fun of someone else just because you want the story to go a certain way? Not to be tolerated in any kind of collaborative setting. My dnd groups have kicked people from the table for less.

It got to the point where Quackity himself has to say it isn't canon, and, well. I think we can see that there was a genuine problem.

#asks!#anon!#does that make sense anon?

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suzdin · 8 months

Text

Mad Max Phillips

(Vampire!Max Phillips x f!reader)

Summary: When trying to deliver a message to Max Phillips doesn’t go according to plan.

Warnings: no use of y/n but use of a nickname/pet name, violence/gore, blood kink, fingering, unprotected p in v (he’s dead it doesn’t matter), squirting, biting (obviously), kind of soft Max at one point

Notes: Basically wanted an excuse to write something about vampires to exercise my knowledge of vampire lore, that’s all really. Enjoy!

18+ MDNI

——

You aren’t sure what compels you to knock on the door to Max’s office. It’s after hours and you should be sitting in traffic by now, chugging down your third or fourth iced coffee of the day, mentally preparing yourself to go to the bar for St. Patrick’s Day celebrations with Alice and Tristan later. Not standing on the fifth floor, where you definitely don’t belong, with some name and phone number scrawled on a post-it note because asshole Max Phillips wouldn’t answer his goddamn phone.

You got the call right as you were about to clock out—a client called ManeGain that sells hair growth products for men. Needed to talk Max Phillips about their account. Fine, you thought. Last one of the day.

Let me direct your call, you’d told the voice on the phone. One moment.

You thought you were home free after that. That is until another call rolled through right as you were slinking into your purse and jacket, fingers hovering over the keyboard to log your hours for the day.

He isn’t answering and I need to talk to him immediately. Please see to it he gets my message, the voice said.

You’re under no obligation to hand deliver messages. Your job is to man the front desk, answer and route phone calls to the appropriate recipients. Direct visitors to the bathroom down the hall. Be a smiling face—or not—as people you barely recognize wash past you and into the building for a long and exhausting 9 to 5 in corporate America.

You had a vague idea of what Max looked like. By and large, he ignored you. As if you weren’t really there. Which was fine by you; the less interaction you had to endure throughout the day, the better.

So you aren’t sure why you’re here, on this empty floor crammed full of cubicles by yourself, hand delivering a message to a man you couldn’t care less about right now. Especially after hearing what sounded like screams as you stepped off the elevator into the hall; and especially after said screams had fallen stagnant and the only other noise audible to you is the crescendo of your own breath as it warbles out of your chest.

You rap your knuckles softly against the door, a lingering sense of dread snaking its way up your spine. “Mr. Phillips? I’m from downstairs. From the lobby? I have a message for you from a Jim Hicks with ManeGain?“

You wait patiently and you’re met with silence so heavy your ears ring. Not even the creak of an office chair or the tapping of fingers on a keyboard can be heard. Perhaps Max has already gone home for the day? You don’t recall seeing him, but it’s possible you missed him in the rush to complete your end of day tasks.

Now that you think about it, you don’t remember seeing him much at all lately.

You could just stick the note to his door and be done with it. After all, it isn’t your job to play delivery person. You’ve done more than is necessary already.

But there’s a persistent intuition rising in your throat that something is off. That something is wrong—you’re sure you’d heard screams. What if Max is hurt? What if you could help him?

The smart thing to do would be to call 911 and vacate yourself back to the safety of the lobby while you wait for emergency services to arrive. But if Max or someone else is injured, they may only have precious few seconds to live, so if you could just check that everything is alright first for your own peace of mind…

As you raise your hand to knock a second time, the door abruptly whooshes open in front of you, an arm shooting forward to hook around your neck and snatch you into the confines of the office, a second hand clapping over your mouth to dampen the horrified yelp that works its way up from your lungs. Your back collides harshly into the door as someone you can’t see spins you, pinning you between themselves and the wood. This all happens within fractions of a second.

At first you think you’ve lost your vision; the room is black as pitch and you can’t even make out the edges of the space around you, much less whoever is inches from your face. Once your vision adjusts, you pick up on the faint blinking glow of a modem against the wall; aside from that, you’re completely blind, your other senses going into overtime.

The first thing you notice is the smell. A thick coppery tang, it almost seems to cake the inside of your nasal passage, overburdening your senses. You think you know what it is—it can’t be though, right? Why would it be?—but you can’t be sure without your sight.

And then you hear something…dripping. Whatever it is, it isn’t far. Few feet, maybe. It seems to be low, which means the source of the sound isn’t coming from the ceiling, where you would suspect. Possibly a desk. Perhaps someone spilled a drink?

Everything happens quickly, within split seconds of one another, and it’s only then you’re acutely aware you’re still being pinned by a faceless assailant, and that whoever it is is breathing against your neck, their breath rife with the same copper stench of the surrounding room. You make a pathetic, mewling sound, your muscles pulled tighter than a snare drum over your trembling frame.

“I can hear the blood coursing through your veins,” murmurs the phantom voice. Then, a dark chuckle. “Fear makes it taste better. Lucky for you, I just fed.”

You feel a shift in your bodies as he manipulates you into a position more advantageous for him, lining his pelvis up with yours. You feel the hard pressure of his erection prodding at your center, dragging your seam through your thin leggings. You relinquish a small sound, one that sounds more gratuitous than you intend it to be, your core throbbing at the sensation in spite of—or perhaps as a consequence of—the spikes of fear and adrenaline currently threading their way through you.

“Did someone like that?” the voice chuckles. You feel the sharp hook of his nose press against the flesh of your neck, skimming along your pulse point. He groans salaciously and rolls his hips against yours, your own utterance of pleasure reverberating your lungs and dying in the meat of the palm still clamped over your mouth. Fuck, this shouldn’t feel good, it shouldn’t, it shouldn’t, but it does—

—it’s the fear, you think. Your mind is trying to help you cope by flooding your body with endorphins. That has to be it. It must be…

“I can smell your blood, sweetheart. Smells so fucking sweet and intoxicating,” he asserts, his tone heady and full of longing. “Never smelled any like yours before. What is your blood type?”

His hand moves away from your mouth, sliding down to circle the underside of your jaw. “Make a sound and I’ll snap your neck like a toothpick,” he warns. Max knows he isn’t above fucking a corpse. Hell, he is a corpse.

You could scream now if you wanted, and you most definitely should. But in spite of yourself, you don’t. You know as well as anyone there’s no one in the building who can save you. And even if there were, they’d never make it in time; the firm press of his hand against your jawbone confirms your suspicion that his threat is anything but idle. You vaguely remember your crisis training and know that compliance is key to survival in hostage situations, if that’s what this is.

“AB negative,” you answer, your voice quavering. Hot tears collecting along the rims of your eyes. “R-rarest… rarest blood type,” you finish.

Max grins and pulls back to study your face. Unlike you, he doesn’t need light to see, his supernatural senses honed now that he’s grown accustomed to using them. He recognizes you as the pretty face from downstairs, the first and last he used to see every work day. Although not so much lately; not since the shift and that pesky allergy to sunlight that would render him to a pile of ash if he tempted it.

“Excellent,” he croons, licking a slow stripe along your neck, simultaneously drunk on the blood in his belly that is making his head swim, and the way he can feel your artery pulsing under his tongue.

“Maybe I’ll have a taste anyway. Always room for dessert, right?” His hand travels from your jaw to the curve of your waist, then to your thigh, where he grabs your leg to hitch it up against him, slinking you around himself so he can deepen the angle of his erection against your core. He needs to be inside you sooner than later, the high of his recent kill making him insatiable.

You let out a sob. It isn’t exactly loud and you hope it isn’t enough to get you killed, but you can’t help it, panic now taking the wheel. A taste of what? Your blood? Does he think he’s a fucking vampire?

You’re definitely the kind of weird girl to believe such things—vampires, aliens, ghosts and the lot. But now that it actually appears to be happening, you’re paralyzed with disbelief, your heart telling you there’s no other logical explanation, but your brain not wanting to accept.

“Shhhh, shhh. Quiet now. I’m going to turn on the light so you can see. And again, you will not make a sound. Right?” he implores.

“R-right,” you mumble, your tongue feeling like a dead lump of flesh in your mouth. “W-won’t make a sound,” you promise.

“That’s a good girl,” he praises, flicking on the switch that you discover is only inches from where your head meets the door, reminding you that you could have turned it on at any point yourself.

You bring a hand up to shield your eyes from the onslaught of luminescence and Max does the same, his eyes far more sensitive than your own. You adjust faster than he does, your gaze already pointed at his chest as your hand lowers, and the first thing you notice is the smattering of blood adorning his suit, staining his white dress shirt. He’s wearing a green tie for Saint Patrick’s Day and you can’t help but think grimly that it looks like some sort of macabre version of Christmas.

Only after you gather your bearings do you allow yourself to look around fully and what you’re met with is nothing short of a horror show. A lifeless man is draped across Max’s desk, both arms displaced from his body, tendrils of sinew dangling gracelessly from the sockets where his arms should be. A gaping chasm decorates his chest which is devoid of a heart as far as you can tell. A smaller but similar impression is found in the stem of the man’s neck, which you deduce is the source of the dripping you heard, the shape and jagged edges of the wound indicative that Max took more than a generous bite out of him.

Rivulets of blood stream down the sides of the desk, collecting in a puddle which is still slowly spreading dark vermillion across the tiled floor. You inhale sharply, your tears flowing freely, thinking to yourself how you’ve never seen this much blood in your entire life. How you may be next.

You will yourself to look at the man’s face. You recognize him from earlier when he’d come up to you in the lobby to ask for directions to Max’s office. His eyes are glazed open in a perpetual loop of his final moments, his jaw slack, mouth ajar in a silent scream. Your stomach turns and you release another sob that you’ve been holding in your chest, but you don’t dare make any other sounds lest Max rips you asunder.

You find one arm on the floor next to the desk, your gaze pulling directly to it. Your eyes search with urgency for the second one, as there are very few places it could possibly be, but you don’t find it on visual inspection alone.

Max forces your visage back to his, black and endless as they scrutinize you. His face is streaked in blood, a goatee of red flowing down from his curved lips, which is splayed into a tilted smirk. You sniffle, your chest shuddering with effort as you attempt to collect your breath and your faculties.

“He wanted to pull his account from our company,” Max explains with a shrug, waving a hand dismissively. “There were some…choice words exchanged. Things escalated. I was hungry. It worked out.”

Max drags you backwards, twirling you toward the wall opposite the door as he releases you, turning the lock behind him. You swallow, dread hammering hard in your chest, doing all you can to regulate your pulse rate but easily failing, pinpricks of sweat breaking out on your skin.

You’ll make it through this. You’ll make it out alive. You won’t end up another meal for this… vampire, incubus, deranged cannibal. Whatever he is.

He steps forward, slipping out of his jacket and waistcoat, discarding them in the bin in the corner. They’re ruined, anyway.

“Fear makes…everything better,” Max intones, giving you a cursory once over as he licks his lips. “On both sides.”

He begins rolling up his sleeves on each arm, pinning them at the elbow, revealing a twin set of thick, toned forearms. His tie is last, which he removes deftly, stepping closer to you to loop it around your neck. You shrink away, or try to, your backside bumping against a cabinet. Max laughs when he effectively corners you again, your mingled scents driving him to madness, threatening to turn him into some sort of savage beast; he can smell the fear being excreted from your adrenal gland, the heady arousal pooling amid your thighs, the invigorating scent of blood pulsing in your veins. It’s enough to make any vampire crazy.

He cinches the tie around your neck, wrapping the other end around his fist. He knows he could use his mind control powers to will you into submission, but there’s no sport in that. No challenge. He prefers when it feels more like a game of cat and mouse and so far, you were being plenty acquiescent, stunned into submission like a timid little dormouse. He can’t help but wonder what you’d let him do to you. How far you would go.

He pulls you against him using the necktie for leverage, causing you to stumble into his chest. He can feel how hard your nipples are underneath your green blouse. You hate how much your body is betraying you right now.

“Taste,” Max quietly commands, lifting his fingers to your lips, the digits still slick with the drying blood of his victim. You whimper and shake your head, tilting away from him.

“N-no, please,” you beg. “Anything but that.”

“Anything? That’s a dangerous proposition, dollface,” Max tuts, smirking crookedly.

“I don’t think I c-can,” you reiterate, shaking like a leaf in his grasp. “I can’t.”

“Sure you can. It’s easy. And it tastes fucking amazing.” He places his fingers against your soft lips. “Open. Now.”

You ultimately resign yourself, knowing you shouldn’t fight him. You’ve seen what he can do—did do—the last thing you need is to antagonize him further. Your lips part softly for him and his fingers delve into your mouth, pressing down against your tongue.

You note the distinct coppery tang of blood right away and it makes you gag, sending you into an inadvertent coughing fit, your own hands pushing Max’s away before you’re aware you’re even doing so, more tears crowding your eyes. If it was your own blood or Max’s, you’re sure you could handle it. But knowing where it came from is enough to make you want to wretch. And you almost do.

Max chuckles, shaking his head at how easily you succumb to your pathetic human morals. “Not good?” he asks.

“Tastes like…rusty pennies,” you spit, swiping at your tongue in anguish to get the taste out of your mouth. In your peripheral, you can almost see the dead man’s eyes watching you. Rightfully judging you.

Max grins, musing over how easily he can make you fall apart, but satisfied that he got you to try, which is good enough for him. For now, at least. “Suit yourself. More for me,” he says with a flourish of his shoulders, licking the remnants of blood from his fingers. “Tastes like the best fucking drink I’ve ever had. I bet you taste even better, though.”

He’s pushing into you again, tightening the tie a few more inches until it’s just barely flush against your throat. His words go straight to your core, his nostrils flaring when he smells more arousal creeping into your panties.

His hand coils tighter around the other end of the necktie, a wry grin playing on his features. He studies you, memorizing all the different shades of your eyes; the curvature of your lips, of your soft cheeks. “I should make you my pet. Would you like that? Being a pet for a vampire?” he asks, his free hand cupping your cheek. “I would like that.”

You attempt a nod. You don’t dare say no. Part of you thinks you would like it, though. But the killing? The constant slew of bodies? You aren’t sure you could get used to that.

“That’s what I thought,” Max muses with a small puff of air from his lips, his opposite hand traversing the curves of your body at a agonizingly leisurely pace.

His hand finds your sex, fingers stroking along your folds through the cloth of your leggings. He can feel you’re soaked through already. His mouth dips to your neck, tongue trailing your pulse point, eager to taste you, but allotting you ample time to get used to the feeling of him there. His teeth tease across your pebbled skin, but he doesn’t clamp down yet, his vampire canines still tucked away for now.

He notices the way your muscles tense and your heart flutters each time his teeth graze, anticipating being bitten, being fed on. He wishes he hadn’t already gorged himself on some jerkoff right before you showed yourself at his door—you would have made a far more delicious meal than this guy. Not that he would have given you the same treatment. Unlike the corpse still cooling on his desk, he’d rather keep you around for future feedings and other forays.

“My pet likes this, doesn’t she?” he coos, nipping at the delicate intersection of your neck and shoulder with his human teeth, causing you to jump. He chuckles. “Relax, baby.”

There’s a sudden tight pull in your lungs, an inexplicable rush of air, and you start to panic when it feels like you can’t breathe, the oxygen punched out of your lungs. Everything goes static and you almost black out, the edges of the room slowly blotting away but then quickly coming back into focus, and you feel an inexplicable chill roll up your spine as a blast of cold air stings your skin.

There are two fingers tapping at your entrance and you look down in time to see Max’s thick digits sinking deep into you, all the way down to the meat of his hand. It occurs to you that you’re completely naked, your clothes discarded into a hasty pile on the floor. You look at Max with a quizzical expression, but before he can answer, your head is rolling back to brush the wall as he furls said fingers inside of you, slowly pumping, a moan departing your lips.

“Super speed. Comes in handy sometimes,” Max explains with a low chortle. “You get used to it.”

If there were any doubts before that Max could be a vampire, you definitely have none now. Unless you’re going insane, which is a very real possibility at this point, there is no other logical explanation for how expeditiously he was able to get you undressed.

He continues to fuck you slowly with his fingers, watching the way your expression transitions from horror to pleasure, your mouth dropping open in a small “O”.

He can tell by your scent that you haven’t been with any other men recently, indicating that you most likely don’t have a regular suitor in your life. He would be right, your last boyfriend out of the picture for several months now. That’s a good thing, because Max doesn’t do competition.

“Would you like to know the other ways it’s useful? My super speed?” Max questions, curving his fingers into a spot that makes your body roll into an arch against him.

“Y-yeah,” you stutter. “Please.”

It’s fucked that you’re enjoying this. Max is a killer who’s cloaked in another man’s blood. Said man wasn’t particularly kind to you—was in fact, curt and rude—but that doesn’t mean he deserved such a fate.

Whatever conflict you’re currently having over the whole ordeal hastily disperses when it’s almost like Max switches on a vibrator between your legs, the edges of his arm blurring away, an exquisite tingle pooling amid your thighs, spreading through your abdomen.

Max doesn’t use his advanced speed often as it takes a lot out of him to do so. Vampires were not as invulnerable as everyone perceived them to be, so he only used it when it was its most advantageous, such as now.

Your head droops forward to rest on his shoulder, blood and all, biting back a moan between your teeth. You think he’s probably even better than your vibrator back home, as you can’t recall something ever making you feel this good.

He lifts your eyes back to him and bites down against the side of your neck—once again only human teeth, which still hurt by all accounts—your muscles clamping down around him with a whimper. You feel the familiar stirring growing low in your core, and you know your orgasm is not far off.

“Max—“

“That’s it, sweetheart. Quiet now. Cum for me. Cum for me, but don’t make a sound.”

His eyes are dark, brow pushed down into a stern line. They bore holes straight through your soul, unmoving from your face as he watches you. You close your eyes to concentrate on the impending orgasm and he snaps the tie against your neck, making you gasp, bringing you back to the present.

“Don’t take your eyes off of me.”

His thumb finds your clit, anchoring itself there and that does it, the coil inside of you unfurling, euphoria peaking as you struggle to keep your sounds to a lower pitch.

And then a not-so-recognizable sensation overtakes you and you’re suddenly gushing around his fingers, your eyes going wide with shock as you realize what is happening, knowing you’ve never done that before, you never knew it was something you could do.

“Messy little thing,” Max muses, fingers slipping free with another rush of fluids that trickle down your inner thigh.

Mind somewhat foggy now with over exertion, he can’t help but think how much it was worth it as he tastes you on his fingers.

He hikes your leg up once more, wrapping it around his waist like a belt as he undoes his pants, pulling himself free. His cock springs forward, rock hard and twitching eagerly, flaring red at the tip, more than ready to bury himself in your depths.

You can’t stop your eyes from wandering and you marvel at his size, swallowing in anticipation of it, but your gaze quickly whips back to his when he tugs harshly on the tie.

“Eyes stay up here, dollface.”

He swipes the head of his shaft through your folds, gathering your slick. He admires the cluster of stars you have tattooed on your inner thigh, dragging a thumb over it. An impulsive thing you did as soon as you turned eighteen simply because you could.

You notice as you watch him that Max also has a tattoo—a small bullseye no bigger than a dime on the side of his left hand.

“My pet needs a new name,” he hums as he aligns himself with your entrance. “How about Star? Would you like that?”

You nod in affirmation. “S-star, yes. I like it.”

Max grins. That wide, self-important grin retained from his former self, blood still staining his lips and chin. “Good. Because if you’re a good little pet, that is what you will be. My Star.”

He starts to push into you, slow at first so you get used to the stretch of him, and then snapping forward the last inch or so, sinking until his hips slot against yours. He lets out a groan that sounds almost demonic in its ardor, causing your heart to skip a beat or several.

“I can…hear your blood…moving. Fucking hot,” he growls.

The first thing you notice about Max as he begins thrusting inside of you is how cold he feels. Not ice cold, but for sure not the warm bodies you’re used to sharing yourself with. Oddly enough, you kind of like it.

You wrap one hand around his neck to steady yourself as he ruts into you. He isn’t going any faster than you’re used to, but that’s probably for the best. If he went even half as fast as he did with his arm, he might actually rip you in half.

You’re the first human Max has been with since the change. He missed it, the warmth of it. Sex with other vampires was too cold, both physically and psychologically, too cunning and dispassionate. He much prefers this, the warmth of your skin sinking into his, making him feel almost like his mortal self again; your little moans and mewls of passion bringing out the monster in him.

You have to hide your face in his chest to muffle all the various sounds of being fucked you’re making, which he surprisingly lets you do without retribution this time, each thrust of his hips jerking you halfway up the wall, the cloth of his nice dress shirt damp from blood, not sweat. Strangely enough, there is no sweat aside from your own, his skin smooth as porcelain.

He slants his hips to deepen the angle inside of you, causing you to whimper louder than intended, his hand tightening around your hip, bruising. If not for the previous expenditure of his energy and the fact he was going easier on you than usual, he could do this all night and then some. You’re making him absolutely ravenous and his self-control not to taste you is waning by the minute.

He pins you in place with the span of his body, increasing the speed and power of his thrusts, and within seconds your walls start to clamp around him, another orgasm building low in your belly.

“That’s it, Star. Cum for me. Cum on my cock,” he beckons.

His face tilts to your neck, aquiline nose nuzzling in the small hollow at the back of your jaw, the soft area that bridges your neck and throat. Grazing his teeth over the warmth of your skin, the heat of your pulsating artery.

The feel of his teeth dragging your skin, teasing, testing, making you clench, and then you’re cumming again with a muted whimper lost in the wide breadth of his chest. You feel his mouth part against your skin as you come undone, a sharp pain suddenly blooming hot in the muscle of your neck.

You feel liquid pooling in the dip of your collarbone, and you realize that Max is feeding on you, sharp canines sinking deep into your neck, tongue laving across your skin with a deep, guttural groan as he feasts upon you. The sounds he’s making are lascivious and lewd, sending a fresh new wave of arousal through you despite your panic, amplifying your orgasm.

Lips still locked to your neck as he feeds, Max’s hips stutter and then draw to a halt when he begins to spill himself inside of you, unable to fully contain himself now that he’s gotten a taste, an unholy, inhuman roar erupting from him so terrifying in its potency that you nearly scream.

Max pulls his face away, lips dark and shiny with a fresh coat of blood as he looks down at you, half-cocked grin playing there. There’s something unsettlingly alluring about it.

You begin to sob softly, you can’t help it, your adrenaline and endorphins dwindling now that all is said and done.

“Shhhh, my Star. It’s okay. You’re okay. You did so well for me,” he consoles, tracing your cheek with the back of his hand.

You see his fangs now, which you’re positive weren’t there before, sharp and pointed and slicked in red. He pricks a finger on one of them and squeezes it, blood beading at the end of his fingertip. He smears it over the punctures in your neck, and you feel a small tickle as they close up almost instantaneously.

And then you see his teeth retract, not dissimilar to a cat’s claws. There one second and gone the next.

He leans forward to clean up any remaining traces of blood, gently pulling you off of him. “See? Good as new,” he says with a wink.

“W-what do I do now?” you ask with a tremble in your voice. You start fidgeting with the tie to see if he’ll let you take it off. He cocks his head curiously.

“You stay with me,” he explains. “You’ll live with me. I’ll take fabulous care of you, my pet, don’t worry.”

“C-can I take this off?”

He shrugs. “Sure.”

You take it off and hand it to him, although it’s stained beyond usefulness, so he tosses it to the floor. He bends to gather your clothes, meticulously redressing you, placing a small kiss to your neck where he fed.

“You taste so fucking good, Star,” he pines with a stretch, sucking air through his teeth. “Best I’ve ever tasted. Now that I’ve had you, I’ll never be sated.”

He wraps his arms around your torso in an uncharacteristically tender embrace, skimming his lips along the shell of your ear. “Sleep, now,” he whispers, and you slip away just like that, Max lowering your now-limp body to the floor as he tucks his discarded jacket under your neck.

——

When you wake up—you don’t know how many minutes or hours later—Max is standing over you. Your eyes dart about the room and the man’s body and every trace of him is gone, as if he never existed. Max offers you a hand to help you up and you take it.

“What time is it?” you ask.

“Just before sunrise. It’s too late to leave. You can call in today and I’ll keep you hidden in my office.”

You frown. Calling in after St. Paddy’s Day isn’t a good look, but what other choice do you have? You just hope you don’t lose your job.

“Okay,” you reply, nodding your head in confirmation. “And at the end of the day?”

“We wait until sun down,” Max begins with a grin, “and then we go home.”

#pedro pascal #writing #romance #smut #author #fanfic #pedro fanfic #dark romance #max phillips #bloodsucking bastards #vampire fiction

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misc-obeyme · 7 months

Text

Okay, since nobody sent me a fluff prompt for Beelzebub, I got to choose one myself. I'm not complaining, but this is entirely self indulgent. I chose the prompt "autumn leaves" because I decided to go for the autumn theme when I made my filler prompt list.

Here is a little bit of CC lore for context - for most of my life, I lived in a place with all four seasons. Autumn was by far my favorite. A couple years ago, I moved somewhere that doesn't really have autumn at all. I don't mind it too much, but I definitely miss it sometimes. When I chose the autumn leaves prompt, I wasn't really thinking about this too deeply. Then when I sat down to write it, all I could think about was taking Beel to see autumn back where I used to live.

I'm sure they have autumn leaves in the Devildom, but there's something special about sunny autumn days, you know? And Beel just feels like he fits in with that so well.

Okay, enough rambling. Have this little Beel fluff. I really loved writing it.

FLUFFTOBER 2023

GN!MC x Beelzebub

Warnings: none unless you count the EXTREME fluff as needing a warning lol

Autumn in the human world was as spectacular as always. It was a bright, cloudless afternoon and the sun illuminated the colors of the leaves, making them shine vibrantly as they shimmied slightly in the light breeze. You couldn't help but admire the way it lit up Beelzebub's orange hair, too, almost making him look like he was aflame. When he turned and smiled at you, the effect was dazzling.

You had managed to convince Lucifer to let you take Beel to the human world for a little while. It had been easier than you anticipated. All you had to do was tell him you were feeling homesick for the human world, but you didn't want to go alone. Lucifer had frowned, as though he was about to explain to you why you couldn't go. You gave him your best puppy dog eyes and he gave in almost immediately.

You could have taken Beel anywhere and he would have been happy to go along with you. But you decided to take him to the mountains.

The two of you had rented a car, driving up a winding highway into a canyon through mountains completely covered in trees. Some of them were pines, dark evergreen creating a stunning contrast to the flamboyant colors of the aspens beside them. The beautiful scenery surrounded you on all sides, above you the bright blue of the sky.

At about midday, you had stopped at a little ski lodge with a restaurant attached for lunch. Later in the year, when the leaves were gone and the snow had fallen, this place would be full of tourists ready to hit the slopes. But for now, you sat outside with Beel in the crisp autumn air with only a handful of other people. As Beel ordered dish after dish, you thanked the waiter profusely while giving him the most apologetic looks you could. You gave him a huge tip when you left.

After driving a little further, you turned into a small road that brought you to the entrance to an easy hike.

You had known that despite the sunshine, it would be a cold day. So you told Beel to wear a jacket and you had obtained matching scarves for both of you. His was wrapped snugly around his neck, his cheeks slightly pink from the chill.

You had been walking along the dirt path with Beel at a leisurely pace. He didn't seem to mind that you wanted to take your time, to really enjoy the display of colors around you.

Now you stood on the edge of the canyon, looking out at the way the trees blanketed the land below. Beel was beside you, the sun still dancing in his hair.

You reached out and took his hand.

Beel blushed. "Thank you for bringing me here, MC."

You smiled. "Thank you for coming with me. I hope you don't mind being out in the sun this much."

"I like it," Beel said. He reached out and ran his fingertips through a strand of your hair. "It makes your hair and eyes sparkle."

Now it was your turn to blush. "You should see yourself," you said, reaching up to brush some of his hair, too.

Beel caught your waist, as though he was worried that you might misstep and fall down into the canyon below. Even though you were perfectly steady, you let him hold you.

"Do you miss being here?" he asked, his eyes easily meeting yours. "In the human world, I mean?"

You frowned a little. "Sometimes," you admitted. "It's nice to come back every once in a while. And to show you parts of it, too."

Beel nodded seriously. "I think about it sometimes. You left everything behind to come stay in the Devildom with us. You must miss home."

Your frown cleared and you smiled at him. You put your arms around his neck and pulled him close. You had to pull him down a bit so you could press your forehead to his. "Don't worry," you said softly. "My home is wherever we're together."

Beel's hands reached up to cup your face, angling it so he could kiss you before they went back to your waist. The warmth of his lips ran through you, as cozy as the scarf around your neck. It might as well have been a summer day the way your body responded to his touch.

Beel pulled away for a moment, looking into your eyes. "Then we're both home."

The sweet tenderness in his expression, the honest delivery of his heart, the brightness of the sunshine glowing around him, the lively colors of the leaves and sky - every part of this moment filled your heart with quiet joy. You let it wash over you as Beel kissed you again.

flufftober | kinktober | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

taglist: @anxious-chick @t0tallycoolname

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hezuart · 8 months

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I’m Glad to hear your Opinions and that you Agreed about Blitz and Striker could have been interesting Dynamic!^^ There’s One More thing I want to Ask, have you ever thought about Re-Designing The Helluva Boss Characters? seen your Designs before and they are Amazing!>w<

I kinda tried a while back as just mere edits but I'm not really happy with them because they're not very original (Angel's was designed by someone else and I think Niffty's was too but i couldnt find the original artist)

Actually would straight up remove Husk's wings. He has no need for those. He's a bull in a china shop. He'd knock over so many alcohol bottles with those things in his tiny cramped bar... Would probably remove his top hat too, he's not the type to wear one of those. I'd also change his body shape. He'd be chubbier? Not too much, but definitely not lengthy. Alastor would be less red. Niffty would look more like a housewife. Angel's fingerless black gloves are definitely more "sexy" than the mismatched bright pink and white he has in his redesign. Vaggie I'd like to keep her pastel gothic look, but she needs antennae instead of a bow, and her hair should look more like moth wings. I think its okay for them all to share a little bit of red, but you gotta be careful about the shades and the amount you use. I'll probably revisit a potential redesign someday.

Striker probably just wouldn't be the same character as an antihero. Theoretically, he could be, if Viv didn't paint the top baddies of hell as good people. (Stolas, Asmodeus, Lucifer, Beezle, technically Alastor) If we had actual complex sins or actual, well... demons. That held evil values instead of basically just being abused party people, then Striker absolutely would be an anti hero for killing the rich overlords that suppress imp kind and cater towards human sinners.

I think that already appears to be the case in Hazbin Hotel, as shown with Alastor, Niffty, Angel, and Husker. They turned into animalistic demons with sharp teeth and powers. Which, again, I really need to look into religious texts more, but it was my understanding that in actual bible lore humans didn't turn into demons or angels when they are sent to heaven or hell. They're just as they are, allowed to live amongst beings better than them. You don't get a halo or wings, or a tail or horn. Those were reserved for angels, fallen angels, demons, and hellborns. Regardless, that's not the case for Vivziepop's Hell. Honestly from the pilot it looks like you immediately turn into a demon as soon as you die and teleport to Hell.

#helluva boss #hazbin hotel #text post #ask

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jennazed · 11 months

Text

So today I was kinda bored and decided to read the "Be More Chill" book to see if there were any differences between the book and the musical.... and OH BOY WERE THERE SOME DIFFERENCES!!! I wrote down some of them, enjoy (beware spoilers obviously)

Jeremy has humiliation sheets to quantiatively determine how much of an incel he is

Madeline is now Elizabeth?

Who tf is Mark, why does he exist, and why is Jeremy friends with him?

Everyone knows Jeremy wrote the letter to Christine, but now he wants to give her a chocolate shakespeare bc he is a total flirt (TM)

Jeremy's mom is around and has a divorce lawyer-ing firm with his dad now

Michael is a white boy with an asian girl fetish

JEREMY IS A THEATER KID! JEREMY IS A THEATER KID! JEREMY IS A THEATER KID! JEREMY IS A THEATER KID! JEREMY IS A THEATER KID!

Mr Reyes doesn't microwave his own hot pockets, he uses child labor to do so instead

Christine is super angsty like she needs an anger management therapist or smth

Michael's brother got a squip apparently and is going to Brown University

Oh btw, Jeremy's dad doesn't even wear underwear around the house he just lets his son see his junk?

Michael also has a knee fetish apparently???

Sadly, the play is the actual Midsummer's Dream and not a Midsummer's Nightmare about Zombies

Ok Christine is no longer angsty?

Nvm she is angsty again that was quick

Jeremy goes "Heh-heh." a lot

According to Michael, all girls are shirt thieves and should never be trusted

Ok Christine is no longer angsty again and apparently she is very specific on how relationships are supposed to be formed bc of course she is

The whole Halloween party is now a school-sanctioned event

Is Jeremy a furry? what does "sometime tonight I’ve got to find pics on the Internet of girls with tails" mean???????

Instead of dressing up as Juliet, Christine dresses up as a prostitute angel for the halloween party

Btw michael knows all about the squip from day 1, his brother has one

Rich does his whole ITS FROM JAPAN moment at the halloween party instead of while pissing

Rich's halloween costume is marijuana

the squip is no longer "top secret can't even look it up on the internet shit" bc there's like 361 results for it on yahoo apparently

Jeremy's dad might have been gay for Ben Franklin

Instead of using his Bar Mitzvah money, Jeremy steals his aunt's beanie babies to finance his squip

LORE!! The guy from the lady's running shoes place who gives Jeremy the squip, his name is RACK LMAO

Jeremy keeps his squip-shenanigans secret from michael so we don't get the awesome sequence "try to say something cool" "i think i just blew my bar mitzvah money on a wintergreen tic-tac" "yeah not cool" :(

RACK instead of the squip says the "You can also set me to Sean Connery, Jack Nicholson, Sexy Anime Female hehehehe" line. This change is devestating

"The gayer it feels, the better your posture" YOU HEARD IT HERE FOLKS GAY PEOPLE HAVE BETTER POSTURE

In the book, the squip can see into parallel universes bc quantum physics

Brooke is Anne

Jeremy flirts with Chloe instead of Brooke/Anne man they really changed a lot of stuff around yk

Eminem dies like immediately. That squip DEFINITELY killed him lol

Fun fact: Jeremy is NOT circumcised!

Apparently you just think about the squip turning off to turn it off wow

Jeremy now does pushups whenever he sees an attractive guy on tv instead of whenever he thinks about sex

SQUIPS CAN CONTROL YOUR DREAMS? THATS SO COOL!

lol the squip hates singing

Jeremy instead of the squip says "up up down down left right left right B A start"

wait Brooke is in the book? Then who tf is Anne???

Madeline is now Katrina?

The squip becomes murderous if you drink, i love it!

how does jeremy not know what a pheromone is but is perfectly able to memorize monologues about how humanity has stopped evolving?

Jeremy is a professional boxer and will punch you in the neck and make your gameboy say "dont fuck with me >:(" if you mess with him, remember that folks

Apparently the squip thinks acting like a dog is cute?

NOOO! Some dude named Jason Finderman is the one who has his parents on the run for money laundering and hosts the party instead of Jake

Huh, no optic nerve blocking of Michael? Maybe this version of the squip is actually trying to help Jeremy

Poor Jenna :( she just wanted to talk about how Elizabeth is a slut and Jeremy turned her down

Apparently the squip is also a certified drivers ed instructor! Who knew?

JEREMYS DAD SAYS THE N WORD OK ITS PROBABLY FOR THE BEST THAT ONE GOT CHANGED

Ok smth is up with Jeremy, why is he confessing to Chloe while on ectsasy that he constantly dreams of her with a tail? AND WHY IS SHE KINDA INTO IT??

Fun fact: ectsasy turns the squip spanish

Apparently Chloe's boyfriend in the book is named Brock. Imagine going through 9 months of pregnancy and deciding that your baby should go by fucking Brock lol

Hugging legs is Jeremy's coping mechanism

I love this version of the squip: "TODO LO QUE USTED ES BUENO PARA ES SEXO DEL INTERNET." lmao

btw rich has a belly button kink

Rich named his pp Li'l Cheese Head

No michael in the bathroom moment, instead its more of a michael in a bathtub with an asian girl moment

Michael, who is still buddies with Jeremy :), rushes to tell him of the rich fire

I think rich set the fire bc alcohol + squip = murderous rage in this universe not bc he was trying to get it out

YOOO CHRISTINE IS GONNA BE A PSYCH MAJOR

Jeremy gets a therapist bc his mom freaks out when he tells her about the squip but the therapist is also squipped lol

lol all hollywood actors have squips, awesome

The squip's plan is to have Jeremy confess his love to Christine during the play in front of everybody but she calls him a loser… oof

The squip plans to write Jeremy's life story in a book and then have it kill itself with mtn dew red :O

THE WHOLE STORY WAS A BOOK JEREMY/THE SQUIP WROTE FOR CHRISTINE????? AND THEN IT JUST ENDS??????

That was one way to spend like four hours

#be more chill #bemorechill #bmc #bmc book #be more chill book #michael mell #rich goranski #jeremy heere #christine canigula #bmc squip #squip squad

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canisonicscrewyou · 2 days

Note

DUNNO WHAT OTHER ANON WAS TALKING ABOUT BUT I CARE. tell me about it

I have been meaning to answer these for like a hot week. Take my hand(s). Come with me. This AU is excellent if you don't care too much about canon and if you want to permanently ruin the way you watch Eleven's run w the Ponds. This is also just straight infodumping.

This post is both shorter and longer than I expected. I can talk about this for ages so this is truly one of those topics that’s like If You Have Any Questions At All About Fobwatched Rory!Master AU GimmeGimmeGimme I Will Always Be Down To Talk About Him/Them.

The gist is that this is an AU where Rory Williams is still Rory Williams. It’s just that Rory Williams should not exist? It’s just that Rory Williams Definitely Did Not Exist until some busted TARDIS fell into a backyard in Leadworth in the 90s and sat there to rot. It’s- It’s just that Rory Williams is a front. Was made up. Rory Williams is genetically human. Rory Williams has a fobwatch that has been harboring the Master for as long as Rory Williams has existed.

The background is that the year is 2012 and this is a headcanon being tossed around because the Master has not even been alluded to in Eleven’s run. Criminal. This premise was promptly stolen by me and ruined my brain for the next 12 years. There are a handful of fanfics that explore this premise, it’s been Too Long since I’ve read any so I truly don’t have any recommendations right now.

So. We have Rory Williams.

You may ask me “Hey, Andrew, in 2012 when other people were playing with this headcanon, was there anything in canon that could have supported this? Not because you NEED to justify headcanons and AUs with hard canon. I’m just curious.” and I say thank you for specifying. YES. Definitely. Totally.

I hope this helps :)) No straws were being grasped :)) It will be like 3 more years until Missy is introduced :))))) Some of us were starving :))))))))

So now that that’s some fun fandom lore established let’s settle this bastard (the Master)’s timeline…

From the Doctor’s timeline: Eleven has not actually seen the Master. Eleven’s last time seeing the Master was Simm!Master being dragged back to Gallifrey before the regeneration tour. The Master is dead.

From the Master’s timeline: Missy is dying. Missy is trying not to die and is effectively kickstarting a new regeneration cycle.

There are two priorities here: Get far away from the Doctor and get far away from any version of themself. In fact that new regeneration cycle might take time to fully develop. Doubly in fact, the Master’s TARDIS is not in good shape.

Solution: chameleon arch.

Rory Williams is not meticulously planned as a human. Rory Williams didn’t even have a name made up when the Master was both regenerating and going under the chameleon arch. There was no planning or time to plan. There was just going, and hoping for the best, because the chameleon arch will sort itself out just fine. (wrong)

Amelia Pond moves to Leadworth with her family as a young girl.

The night Amelia Pond settles into a house with a crack in the bedroom wall, a TARDIS crashes in someone else’s backyard in Leadworth. And Brian and Mallory Williams suddenly remember that they were supposed to be renovating their daughter’s bedroom (that strangely looks like a home office at the time), and put Rory Williams to sleep on the couch after he comes wandering in from the woods out back.

Rory Williams meets Amelia Pond the literal next day, and immediately, unknowingly, the youngest 7 year old in existence Fucks The Master’s Whole Shit Up For An Entire Millennia.

About a week later, the Doctor crash-lands into Amelia Pond’s backyard, and there is literally too much going on for him to even get a HINT that his Best Divorced Enemy is taking a ✨Mental Health Break✨ a few blocks over.

Amelia tells Rory all about the Raggedy Doctor she met and he does not question the weird anxious feeling in his stomach at all, because this kid is dealing with other things, like transgenderism and hanging off of Amelia Pond’s arm and also her Every Last Word. He will get dragged into games of Raggedy Doctor until they are at least 15 and will look at all of her Raggedy Doctor fanart and trinkets and listen to her borderline religious obsession with this character and is the only person in Leadworth aside from Mels to not look at her funny or tell her its all A Bit Too Much when she starts ranting about him. He decides early on he wants to be a doctor. Or maybe a nurse.

curb your enthusiasm.mp3

Everything from Eleventh Hour on is… Pretty accurate. The Master isn’t even really involved. The Master is in an old antique wristwatch somewhere in the Williams’ house, buried in boxes in Rory’s closet. I’m sure there’s a joke there somewhere.

Rory Williams is just. Like that.

The Master has no hand in Rory Williams’ sheer inability to die.

Every time Rory somehow evades inexistence the Master is pleasantly surprised. It makes absolutely no damn sense how this random human managed to escape death multiple times. It makes no damn sense that he just so managed to become an Auton just so he could guard his girlfriend for 1000 years (for the Doctor, but it’s important that every move this man makes is in Amy Pond’s name. The Doctor doesn’t even cross Rory’s mind when he decides to watch over the Pandorica.).

Rory Williams does not think much about how anxious he feels in the TARDIS. Somehow, the TARDIS makes him feel claustrophobic. Somehow, he feels like he isn’t welcome there, though nobody around him would give him that impression, ever. He does not think much about how he understood how the TARDIS worked immediately outside of the one article he read on dimensional travel. There is a period of time where he thinks the sickly feeling he gets in his stomach looking at the Doctor is just him needing to unpack weird feelings around his own bisexuality and Amy teases him relentlessly for it, because honestly, it’s just mortifying that it’s the Doctor of all people.

Around the Power of Three, Brian Williams is downsizing. It’s just him living in Rory’s childhood home now, no reason to hold onto all of these boxes of things.

Brian discovers an old, busted wrist watch in Rory’s childhood bedroom, buried deep in his closet shelves where he frankly never even touched. There’s some part of his memory that tells him it was from Rory’s grandfather, some hand me down, a gift for a christening, something. Rory should have this watch. Rory would want it. Next time he sees Rory, he gives it to him.

Rory is now aware of the watch. The Master is now aware that Rory is aware of the watch. The watch has gotten incredibly claustrophobic. The Universe resetting itself doesn’t take away Rory’s centurion stint, and it doesn’t apply to streams of consciousness that are hidden in dusty Time Lord tech. Rory does not want to open the watch- there is a part of Rory deeply self aware that if it’s opened, he will no longer exist. Every fiber of Rory’s being feels compelled to open the watch. The Master does want to open the watch- but the Master does not, cannot have, the watch opening around the Doctor. Neither man wins in this scenario.

You are the Master. You explicitly chose some random coordinates and fobwatched yourself into some random human with a random backstory. You somehow wound up best friends with the person obsessed with your ex that you were AVOIDING. You all traipse around his TARDIS together. You die and come back multiple times for this girl, this woman that you hooked onto immediately. Your daughter marries that same fucking ex. You couldn't have pranked yourself harder if you tried.

You are Amy Pond. You shouldn't really exist but you do against all odds. And you do not deserve any of this.

When the Master comes out(ha.) it is messy and awkward and nobody has a good time. There is no discernible reason why the Doctor should believe the Master going “oops !! oopsie !! well this is awkward isn’t it !!!!” while wearing the face of his best friend’s husband, and a very good friend of his own, and also technically his father-in-law. The Master is also aware of this. The Master is, actually, feeling kind of guilty that he killed Amy Pond’s husband right in front of her?

The Master has been locked in a state of half-regeneration for 1000 years. The Master has been in Rory Williams head, and likewise the Master has had Rory Williams in his own head. The Master is softly aware that there is something different in him this time around. There is something that feels decidedly human, sickly and overly emotional and cagey. There’s also just plain dysphoria when he looks in the mirror as himself, as the Master and not Rory, for the first time, something that absolutely fucks up the Master who is A. A Time Lord who has regenerated dozens of times B. Up until this point frequently operates on the idea that “Any Working Body Is A Good Body”.z

Eleven hates his guts. Amy is not fond either. (I am convinced that if that watch opened up without the Doctor around at all he would’ve immediately snatched up Amy and forced her to be his best friend even if she didn’t want to. I am certain that if Rory opened the watch at a few specific points the Master could’ve absolutely just willingly whisked Amy away to be his own companion and they would be sooo fucked up together.) It is uncertain to everyone involved whether or not River knew this was a possibility, let alone something she knew would even happen. The Master is spiraling. The Master is also lonely, both in the present and in the memory of being Missy. The memory of a Doctor who doesn’t exist yet. Rory Williams is a ghost that haunts the Master until he regenerates. Rory is in his sudden knowledge of how to properly bandage a burn. Rory is in his hesitation at saying the coldest and cruelest thing he could think of to get a reaction out of Amy Pond. Missy is in the inside joke he quips to the Doctor before realizing that the joke hasn’t happened yet. Missy is in the way he wonders if the Doctor even had a chance at remembering this regeneration of his since the whole timeline is disrupted, so does it actually matter what he does with it? Between Rory and between everything that happened with Missy and the Saxon Master and Twelve, is he actually what he perceives as the Master anymore? Or will another version of himself eventually just come along and put him down like a sick dog for not performing correctly, too?

Rory haunts the Master in the way that the Doctor can’t look at the Master’s face without revulsion for ages. Until the Master is grasping at straws, and suddenly insisting that the Doctor look him in the eyes. And he does- he just barely does. It’s not what he was expecting, but he does it. The Master grabs at his wrist and there’s a desperate insistence to the way he says it, the most pathetic “Say My Name” to ever fall from any regeneration’s lips, and when the Doctor does say “Master…”, it’s only to follow up with “Master… Are you okay?” because NO he clearly isn’t. The Master is quite obviously never okay but this is different, nothing is working the way it used to, nothing sounds right and even the Doctor isn’t doing it right and it’s clearly(/s) all just because of Fucking Rory Williams.

Anyways. It’s about haunting your own narrative and it’s about how to best fuck up a Time Lord who was Too Human For Too Long. It’s about giving the Master empathy and both gender and social dysphoria and an identity crisis.

It's also about Amelia Pond and Rory Williams, two human beings who by all accounts should NOT exist at all, finding and loving each other because two TARDISes crash landed in Leadworth in 1996.

In Conclusion:

P.S. while I’m here: Him Face (Also important to note that if you’ve read this far in, congratulations, you get the added fun fact of knowing that in this the Master’s TARDIS is a horribly beat up and graffiti’d vending machine. It’s not stuck like that. It’s just how his TARDIS prefers to present, and shockingly, the Master’s TARDIS refuses to listen to a word he fucking says.)

#ANYWAYS HIII HIHIHIHIHIHI please feel free to ask me so much about Rory!Master #and the obligatory if you ever want to roleplay Rory!Master AU just DM me. I will always want to write Rory!Master. I will never not wanna.#this. is not even the half of it. but when you’ve been writing a character for over a decade you realize that putting their lore down #to paper is sometimes actually hard bc I just toss around his backstory on my RP blog. I changed that shit up so often.#in fact this backstory to how Rory was the Master as a kid is different to the one currently on my RP blog.#long post #doctor who #dr who au #rory williams #the master doctor who #rory!master #pet blorbo for 12 years straight(<- I actually find it to be very gay….)#save

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winns-stuff · 9 months

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LO RANT:

This will be small hopefully but I really do think it’s shitty that Rachel literally used all of these serious topics that affect real people as nothing more but plot devices for her characters so she can get more chemistry out of them.

How is Hades supposed to be good representation for male DV survivors when we never get to see his thoughts or feelings of his abusive relationship with Minthe after she slapped him? Literally as soon as that traumatic thing happened to him he never even thought about Minthe once, he was with Persephone and it was as if nothing ever happened. There was no exploration being done or nothing meaningful coming out of that whole interaction so now it just looks disingenuous on Rachel’s part. It doesn’t feel like she added that element to Minthe and Hades’ relationship because she genuinely wanted male survivors to be represented and it surely doesn’t feel like she did that to spread awareness about it either, no one ever talks about Hades’ trauma and even the past events that the comic showed us did not even mention Minthe’s abusive tendencies. Hades is given no room to actually reflect on what happened to him because he’s thrown into the arms of Persephone just to be a prop in order to prove that she’s the better woman.

The same thing happens with Persephone’s trauma as well, I don’t think I need to explain why it’s so incredibly weird to me that Persephone is so willing to confide in a man she’s known for a few days to a week at most besides her actual “friends”. She has no other support systems besides Hades and Hades is always there for her despite Persephone having other beings willing to support her the exact same way. Whenever Persephone is with Hades, no matter how recently she was traumatized she’s willing to be completely alone with him in the most vulnerable position ever which is in her room on the exact same bed sleeping next to Hades. And again, it looks disingenuous on Rachel’s part to have Persephone’s trauma AND healing process to be placed on the back burner in order to facilitate her romance with Hades, I cannot explain to you how messed up that is. Not only that but she immediately called Hades when she’s uncomfortable, no one else not even her longer friends. Persephone’s trauma literally disappears when she’s around Hades because this kind of stuff would most definitely affect their relationship and cause either conflict or distance between them but since Rachel obviously hates that she goes on the route of making these two recently traumatized characters “instantly bond” with one another despite not having any time to actually heal.

Among the many other serious topics that she literally only put inside of the comic for either convenience or drama and clearly had no genuine message that she wanted to share with having stuff like that placed in her comic I just think it’s pretty shitty. Listen, I know I don’t know who Rachel is personally but she’s older than me and even I know that things like this should not be flung into stories because at the end of the day Lore Olympus is really popular and many people praise it so these very real issues being written so poorly and everyone eating it up as if everything is completely accurate is harmful. Rachel needs to listen to the other side of the stories of the survivors that she claims to represent in her story, not just the ones who are okay with the writing.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo #lore olympus criticism #lore olympus critical #antiloreolympus

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herrscherofmagic · 5 months

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The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that an Eden expy would be perfect for HSR.

Beauty... What is your definition of beauty? Did you have it? Did the old me have it?

TL;DR: Eden's a HI3rd character with themes/motifs around music, beauty, elegance, and so on. I think it would be cool to see an Eden expy in Honkai: Star Rail :)

Slightly longer TL;DR: Eden is a character whose story revolves around the meaning of beauty in an ugly world, a world in which terrible things happen to good people, in which the greatest and bravest heroes of humanity fail to save the day. In spite of this, even as the last cities of Earth crumbled to dust, Eden still held steadfast on her belief, and she had faith that even though her era is now fading away, the new era of humanity would "script their own fate and sing their own songs."

So I've seen a fair bit of discussion about expys on the HSR subreddit from time to time, and I figured I'd have a go at this with my own post discussing a pre-existing Hoyoverse character I'd like to see in HSR someday!

This post is mostly aimed at an HSR audience so I've written it in a way that should be understandable even without any prior knowledge of HI3rd, but fellow HI3rd peeps might enjoy it too :)

The thought of this came to me when I was playing HI3rd earlier, because when I was looking at Eden's signature weapon, I was thinking "wow, I forgot how beautiful that was" and then it hit me- one of Eden's core themes as a character is Beauty, making her a perfect candidate to be a future Pathstrider of the Path of Beauty! Whether part of the Knights of Beauty or part of a different faction or even walking this path on her own.

There's going to be some light spoilers for HI3rd's story, but nothing that spoils major story beats. Eden is a character from the Previous Era, meaning most of her story takes place in the form of archives and records of the past. This post is pretty much all backstory, and I won't discuss any important "secrets of the past" meaning any big plot twists should remain unspoiled.

So if you're ambivalent or unconcerned about HI3rd spoilers, I'd say it should be okay to proceed, but if you want to play it safe then you should probably return to this post later. All of this is lore from the Elysian Realm, so if you're already familiar with that then there won't be any spoilers at all :)

That being said, this post does contain some pretty heavy content. Nothing particularly graphic or violent, but there is discussion of death and trauma so please keep this in mind!

Some quick context, to start with:

HI3rd's story takes place on Earth, and in this setting there have been multiple "past eras". Over the course of a civilization's development, powerful apocalyptic beings called "Herrschers" appear and wreck havoc upon the world. When the final Herrscher, the Herrscher of Finality*, descends upon the Earth it removes all trace of the current existing civilization... or whatever remains of it. Over the course of 50,000 years a new civilization develops in its place until someday Finality returns once more and the samsara repeats.

Eden is a character belonging to the Previous Era (PE), which is the civilization immediately preceding the Current Era (CE), which is the present-day setting of HI3rd.

*disclaimer: this Finality is not related to the Path of Finality. It's a matter of translation, since the original text uses different characters.

Eden was living a pretty great life- she was a superstar and she was filthy rich, with global tours and widespread fame. In fact, several of the other major characters of the Previous Era (such as Kevin and Su) were fans of her music! Singing, playing instruments, she could do it all. Naturally, she was a fervent supporter of the arts.

Despite this, Eden was still living a "normal" life- a life in which she was blissfully unaware of the looming threat of Honkai. She became painfully aware of it when disaster struck during a concert of hers in Sydney (the PE version of it, of course). During this concert but elsewhere in the city, the 7th Herrscher awoke: the Herrscher of Fire. Almost immediately the entire city was engulfed in raging fires. According to some sources, even the entire continent of Australia was destroyed, but this may have been retconned so take it with a grain of salt.

Eden was (un)fortunate enough to survive this disaster, being saved by one of the former Fire MOTH soldiers that was under the leadership of the person that became the Herrscher of Fire. Though Eden survived and still retained her public image and wealth, there was no returning to her past life. She ended up learning about the organization Fire MOTH, humanity's leading force fighting against the threat of Honkai. While she kept her usual public image, she would also use her wealth to help support MOTH.

The past is no more, but I can still remember this moment. This is what I can do right now.

Over time Eden grew to become a more active member of MOTH, until someday even she would end becoming a soldier herself. She witnessed the toll of war as fewer and fewer soldiers returned from battle and as the survivors became increasingly worn and weary. Though many people knew of her music and appreciated it, as the war went on Eden realized even her music had its limits to how much it could help people. Because of this, Eden chose to volunteer for a program that would give her the strength to fight alongside the rest of MOTH.

One of MOTH's many programs to fight Honkai was the MANTIS project: augmenting humans with the DNA of Honkai Beasts, granting them tremendous power. If they survived the Meta-Morph surgery. Eden underwent this program and survived, placing her as part of an elite force with the strength to fight the Herrschers head-on.

Plus she got a sick pair of guns! so that's pretty neat ^.^

Unfortunately, we know how this story ends. We call it the Previous Era precisely because it ended. Even humanity's greatest heroes couldn't stop the crushing power of Finality.

Eden would not live to see the next era of humanity.

With this summarized backstory of Eden in mind, I'd like to share a few archive entries from HI3rd, featuring Eden. I was originally going to try and summarize and discuss these lore entries myself, but I think it'd be best to keep my thoughts to a minimum and provide the full text instead, so anyone reading this can think about it for themselves and come to their own conclusions instead of taking my word as law.

First, we have one of the records discussing the events of the awakening of the 7th Herrscher. Do note that I snipped out a portion of this archive to shorten it and reduce spoilers, so it's not the complete version found in-game.

Another part of Eden's backstory I want to mention is the way Eden interacted with another major member of Fire MOTH, Dr. Mobius.

Mobius is a pretty complicated character, because while she seems to be a straightforward "mad scientist" type of character, there's a lot of nuance to her behavior and attitude. It's difficult to sum it up, but in this case I'll focus on how other people perceive her: very negatively.

Dr. Mobius' work was groundbreaking for genetics and biology, and her projects (including the MANTIS project as well as early versions of Project Stigma) were crucial in fighting Honkai. However, she was incredibly intimidating and her experiments were... questionable, to say the least. Cold and calculating, not someone to inflict needless cruelty but also someone who doesn't let silly little things such as "ethics" get in the way of progress.

Interestingly, Eden is probably one of the few people that was capable of interacting with Dr. Mobius in a positive way. Many people found it difficult to work under the supervision of Dr. Mobius and most would go out of their way to avoid her, but it seems that Eden was not one of them. This scene in particular is a good example of this:

At this point I think Eden's theme of Beauty is quite evident, and I could probably cut the post short here. But there's one final part of Eden's story I'd like to share, and since it's a scene involving Mobius it builds on the previous entry quite neatly. Since I'm going to end the post with this scene, I'll give my final thoughts first!

I don't really think it's worth worrying too much about expys and whatnot, because ultimately the important thing is whether a given character fits the story, not whether they look like a past character. If we get a "HSR Kiana" or an "HSR Kiana", what matters is the way they fit into this setting. The setting of Aeons and Paths, of a diverse set of factions vying for power and influence across the universe, and how the Nameless will cross paths with this character.

But I wanted to make this post anyways because I feel like Eden's story is greatly underappreciated, and since it has such a neat connection with the Path of Beauty.

Eden's theme of "Beauty" is not just about Eden being a beautiful person, nor is about her beautiful music. To me, it's her understanding of humanity and the way that the arts allow us to connect with each other. It's her ability to reach out and connect with a person as cold and calculating as Mobius. It's just as Eden says, "something that makes people happy, guides the way, and sparks hope."

Just something to keep in mind when reading this final archive entry. I've also re-attached the same image from the start of the post, since I think it takes on a much more powerful meaning with this scene in mind.

For those who're curious, the first & last image of the post are a still shot from the credits of the HI3rd animation "Because of You", which is a very beautiful but also spoiler-filled animated short

#honkai star rail #honkai impact 3rd #honkai 3rd #hi3 #hsr #honkai eden #long post #text heavy #so... i originally posted this on reddit but it flopped HARD >.>#i spent two hours writing this up y'all T_T #i did NOT go to bed at 2am for this eden propaganda to go unappreciated #so plz don't let me down honkai tumblr x-x #also I have violent thoughts about Eden & Mobius /j /pos #their dynamic is so criminally underrated #I flippin' love how someone so popular and beloved (Eden) is accepting of someone so feared and avoided (Mobius)

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revlischarm · 1 year

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SO APPARENTLY I NEVER POSTED SEASON 3 DETAILS FOR THE LMK MORRO AU.

I feel like an idiot ugh

Anyways. Uh.

Take that, because I know if I don’t attach art to this post it will fade into obscurity.

Details about season 3 under the cut!! So, so much lore, it’s a very long post honestly.

• Okay so starting off Season 3 with Macaque attacking the ship

• Morro can tell from the moment Mac shows up initially that there’s something screwy going on, not on any spiritual level but more in a way of “What kind of motive would Macaque have for working for the Bone Demon?? Why would he????”

• So we have Morro making a lot of biting remarks every time someone tries insulting Macaque for being on LBD’s side

-Wukong, to Macaque: “You always had a sidekick kinda vibe.”

Morro: “And you always had a shut-the-fuck-up kinda vibe but hey, look at you!” (Credit to @breathlessmonkie for the joke)

• He just knows there’s gotta be something else going on. Or at least he’s hoping so.

• I mean Macaque definitely has some residual LBD vibes on him since she’s got her claws in him, and Morro can sense that, he just can’t pin it down specifically yet

• He wants to help his monke dad but he can’t and that frustrates him immensely

• And during Macaque’s actual attack on the ship/them trying to escape LBD initially, Morro’s broom ends up getting smashed. And I mean that quite literally it is reduced to splinters

-Rest in peace, Morro’s broom. It’s honestly surprising you made it this far with how much Morro refused to use you for your intended purpose

• Ohohoho Morro and LBD’s dynamic is so much fun btw

• LBD’s whole thing is about fulfilling the path of destiny, and meanwhile Morro’s schtick was all about defying his!

-They clash really well!! I adore the parallels

• Oh, and Morro can instantly recognize possession like that upon seeing her

-He was a ghost for fucking 40-ish years (I don’t know the exact timeline), it’s a sensation that sticks with you—being able to tell that sorta thing, I mean. He was literally a cursed spirit for longer than he was actually alive, for fuck’s sake.

-Morro is super twitchy when it comes to possession just in general. Like, he’s an expert on it and knows a ton of information about it (obviously)

-And he knows immediately that this isn’t a possession that can be broken via willpower, that’s a fucking child who is frightened and definitely not strong enough to resist this demon.

• Morro hates LBD a lot honestly, they don’t like anything about her

-She’s so dedicated to destiny and she’s possessing people

-They loathe how she seems so sure of herself, and how she uses “It is destiny and nothing you do will change this” as a justification for everything she’s doing. They think that destiny is a load of bullshit and people can do what they want, not just because someone said they should.

• While on the topic of LBD and ghosts in general I’m gonna take this time to go over my concept/thoughts on how Morro’s newly resurrected body works. I even made up a super weird and unhelpful diagram where I try miserably to explain my thought process.

-Physically, it’s difficult for an ex-ghost to get possessed because their spirit used to be departed. Like…it’s super hard to explain, but the body and spirit work? A bit oddly?

-That new body in theory was created from nothing in a way? It’s from the spirit themselves, it’s got weird physical attributes going on. I mean, Morro’s actual body is rotting away in a cave

-So he had to conjure up a whole new body when he got brought back

-It’s just like. The connection between body and soul acts differently than it would for a regular person. His body is an extension of his spirit?? They’re not really separate.

-For a normal person you’ve got a clear divide between soul and body, it’s like a shell, you know? Whereas Morro’s body is more of uhhhhh. A second skin. It’s rooted into him and attached. The soul is the body, and vice versa.

-His soul has turned into a physical form, so there’s no separation there! That’s just. It’s all Morro! It is so hard to explain and so frustrating that I can’t word this right and I’m repeating myself

-I can say that Cole is a special and different case

-There’s two ways that Cole’s whole deal could operate; one of which involves a fun notion that when Cole failed to escape the temple he actually ended up leaving his body behind, thus that’s what it meant by “becoming a ghost”. His body sorta smacked into the doors and his soul kept on walking, so. That’s a fun idea. If that’s the route we go with, then his resurrection would work just the same as Morro’s, but if it isn’t then he gets some completely different funky dynamics

-It’s overall frustrating sometimes to have to think about because both cases are so unique and isolated that I can’t really draw from any other examples since there are none. I just end up having to make up my own lore along the way

-TLDR: Morro is a ghost with skin

• On that note if anyone wants to contribute any ideas I would love to hear them, there are so many things in this au that are rough concepts at best and could really use polishing up

• Anyways…back on my other bullshit, it’s hard to possess something that isn’t really. A body/empty husk.

-It’s just Morro, all one thing packaged together

-Yeah LBD can taunt him and get inside his head (mentally), but not actually possess him

-She tries and just bounces off of him like a rubber ball because it’s literally just colliding with another spirit except he’s solid

-Plus there’s mental complications too. Someone who used to be a ghost (for a long time at least! You’ve gotta have experience with possession, you know?) would know all the tricks that someone does when possessing, so they’re psychically fortified, they just. They know how to lock out a secondary conscience with relative ease.

-When possessing someone, you have to keep that person’s will/conscious under wraps and separate it from your own! It works the same way as that.

-Just imagine Morro as being a physical ghost in a way idk I’m trying my best to explain

• Morro can touch things both on the spiritual plane and the physical plane

-He doesn’t have ghost powers tho, this is all just side effects from the Rift

-But Morro can interact with stuff in the mortal plane as well as any spiritual stuff, which is something others can’t do.

-He can’t separate LBD from her host or anything like that, possession isn’t really like. That’s an entirely different thing from grabbing something that’s on the spiritual realm like an object, and it’s not something I’ll go into detail about since it’s not relevant

• LBD’s powers also slip off of Morro a lot

-They can’t really. Latch onto him? It’s very touch-and-go.

-She can’t do any kind of long-distance contact with Morro either

-You know how she can get in MK’s head sometimes from a distance? Whatever that pang of blue outline is. She can’t do that on Morro

• The Mayor also struggles against Morro somewhat. It depends on how exactly he’s attacking. Physical attacks work normally, like nothing is really changed about that, but any sort of magic/spiritual stuff could be a tad wonky? I’m not sure

• Morro can also see stuff on the spiritual/astral(?) plane in addition to his being able to make contact with stuff! Think MK’s gold vision, except only for spiritual stuff

-So when Wukong is communicating via astral projection to MK, Morro is able to see that. His immediate reaction is “Oh hey Monkey King finally killed the bucket lmao” (he says, jokingly)

• Also Morro grabbing LBD’s chain things without consequences is something they can absolutely do

-Of course all this is to say that this stuff doesn’t make Morro immune to all spiritual attacks; if anything, at times they impact him even more. But it depends on what it is.

• Ohohoho plot time now

• Morro is freaking the fuck out when the ship crashes into the ocean. His powers just start going haywire underwater because of how bad he’s panicking.

-They have an actual panic attack, and are having flashbacks to their death via the Preeminent and how much they feared water as a ghost

-It’s a very rough time for everybody

• He’s tryna make an air bubble for people but keeps failing because Panic Attacc

-He’s upset and generally out of it overall; not entirely lucid

• Morro 🤝 Wukong: Being useless underwater

• So they get to the dragon palace, right? First things first, the moment they’re out of the wreaked vehicle, Morro sorta just stumbles to the ground and is having trouble breathing right.

-Morro is able to calm down from his panic with some help, but there’s not exactly time to recuperate properly when the plot starts moving along again

• So they meet with Ao Guang, and because of the green streak in his hair and the power of plot convenience and his having powers, Ao Guang is like “oh another dragon kid? I don’t remember you but okay. Bring him in too.” Plus the dragon pendant Morro is wearing adds to that as well.

-Not to mention Morro is still so frazzled that Ao Guang would feel bad throwing him in the dungeon anyways. He looks like a really sad wet cat and I love him for it

• Morro’s clothes got all torn up and wet during the chaos, so Mei insists that he get a change of clothes too. Cue the fashion montage!!

-And Morro dyes his hair purple as a kinda nod to Macaque. He’s also got his own color scheme now!! Trying to find his own identity and life and such. He’s got the ribbons to represent his friendship with MK and Mei! And bc they’re very pretty and I wanted something to flap around in the wind for dramatic effect.

-Morro actually lends MK his dragon pendant thing to be a part of MK’s new outfit! It doesn’t do anything, it’s purely sentimental/ornamental.

-MK literally asks, “What’s it do? Is it magic? Does it turn into some cool secret weapon??”

And Morro just goes “No? It’s just a pendant?”

-MK has the idea in his head by this point that Morro must have been some sort of ghost hunter since he’s able to punch ghosts in the face and knows a lot about them

• AIWUWHWJWJ picturing MK dying a streak of green in his hair to match Mei and Morro one day since literally two of his friends have that

-That’s unrelated, it’s just funny to think about

• Oh, and since Morro’s broom got broken, he steals a guandao from one of the guards as they’re breaking out

-The guandao stays with Morro for the rest of the season! And even after that, though a brand new broom is his typical weapon of choice, he’ll bring out the guandao (he keeps it in MK’s room lol) when he knows he’s going into a fight

-Morro, dual-wielding a broom and a guandao: “Don’t fuck with me! I have the power of the FSM and found family on my side!”

• Also also also!!! When they crash into the ocean and everything, Morro’s makeup that he’s been using to cover up his cursed markings gets washed off. Yes, he uses a lot of concealer, but so much happened that it couldn’t really withstand all of that

-He can’t reapply it because he doesn’t have any spare concealer on him, and the purpose is defeated seeing as everyone’s noticed the markings now

• When Morro had first arrived, they immediately went and stole concealer once they passed by a store. They spotted their reflection in a shop window and went “Shit I gotta hide these” since they’re a red flag in Ninjago

-And then he ended up getting stabbed by me after that lol

• Now they don’t know what the marks mean (Tang has a few suspicions tho), all they can see is that they’re etched into his skin. MK compares them to Macaque’s or Wukong’s face markings

-But Morro steadfastly refuses to elaborate on what his markings mean specifically, or how they originated

-He’s extremely vague and dodgy about the subject and will even go so far as to brush them off as a “birth defect”

-Then Amnesia Wukong comes along :)

-Yeah that’s actually part of a lovely big reveal for Morro’s new uncle figures Tang and Pigsy hehe

• Oh and when Wukong is meditating btw Morro absolutely draws on his face and messes with him. Takes pictures with his phone to send to Macaque later.

• I’m just gonna jump right into the amnesiac Wukong stuff because it’s a lot of fun

• I wanna start off with saying that Macaque’s plan when he separated the group was to specifically have Morro around with Wukong, that was intentional on his part. He didn’t want to have to deal (presently) with facing Morro.

-Like he’ll fight MK, sure, but he knows if Morro was with MK then they’d end up protecting the kid at all costs, whereas Macaque is aware that Morro doesn’t care very much for Wukong.

-Thus the way Macaque was thinking, he’d be able to subdue MK (without Morro knowing), and then go over to pick up Wukong without too big a fight

• Anyways back to Wukong revealing some sensitive information that Morro really wishes he hadn’t

-Like…Wukong says it so casually, too, as if it’s a glaringly obvious fact and not something Morro’s kept buried from everyone

-At least normal Wukong has the decency not to, you know. Mention the fact that his gold vision and centuries worth of experience let him know that Morro’s been cursed/dead at some point.

-But amnesiac Wukong? No tact whatsoever. “You! Spirit! Why are you hovering over there next to my master?!”

-This SWK only calls Morro variations of spirit, phantom, ghost, wraith, etc.

-Morro is wondering if Wukong has a fucking thesaurus or something on him with how many synonyms he’s spouting

-On that note allow me to list some because data collection is fun

-Apparition, shade, specter, banshee, poltergeist, phantasm, shadow, spook…those are the most relevant ones I could find. Although Wukong’s favorite/most used is gonna be spirit or phantom.

• That aside, Morro is mortified when he gets addressed in that manner

• This reveal happens before Tang gets snatched by the Scorpion Queen, so he hears SWK call Morro that along with Pigsy

-So that was fun for Tang to ruminate on while he was kidnapped lol

• Like, Wukong glances around and sees Morro and after some back and forth, proclaims “Well they’re clearly an evil spirit! Though they may hide in that mortal form, they can’t conceal the distinctive markings on their face! Those show who they really are: a being that was cursed upon death!”

-Cut to Morro’s expression getting increasingly alarmed while Wukong’s saying all of this, eventually tackling the monkey to the ground in an impulsive effort to silence him

-“Shut up shut up shut up! You don’t get to say those things, you don’t get to talk about any of that as if you—as if you understand! You have no right—!”

-Morro is frenzied and panicked, horrified that SWK may have just scared away the few people who he’d actually grown quite fond of! The last thing he wants to see (though he wouldn’t admit it aloud) is them looking at him in fear and revulsion.

• Pigsy definitely questions Morro on what Wukong meant while they’re looking for Tang, although that’s after needing to convince Morro not to immediately bolt when Wukong had finished talking. Morro was ready to fucking sprint off and start life anew as the local woodland cryptid; that’s how freaked out they had gotten. So Pigsy has to calm them down enough to at least get them to like, stay stationary.

• Once Morro’s settled enough (and even then, he’s got a very flighty look to him) Pigsy starts questioning him

-Morro is. Extraordinarily hesitant to disclose anything—he always is—but he seems especially cagey about this topic in particular, which is saying something.

-Morro, thinking to himself: “Oh my FSM I’m turning into Wu with the amount of information I’m keeping to myself.”

-He absolutely, positively, refuses to reveal anything about himself dying. He cannot and will not voluntarily mention that. Reluctantly and after a lot of prodding, he explains to Pigsy that yes, he was cursed at one point, but that’s as much as he’ll let on.

-It’s so frustrating for anyone to try and get backstory details from Morro lmao

-“I did something awful/something I wasn’t supposed to do, and it pissed someone off, I guess. It got me cursed, and it’s nothing that I want to talk about. Please.” Or he even mentions that he “defied destiny” and was cursed for it.

• The big reveal that Morro had died previously comes during the confrontation with LBD and Wukong

-She is definitely the one who reveals it seeing as there’s no feasible way that Morro is willingly divulging that information

-She straight up mocks him about it I’d wager

-“You, who have so foolishly defied destiny time and time again, and even defied the very cycle of natural life. O’ Morro, former champion of the Cursed Realm, general to the Preeminent—how low you have fallen in your futile reach towards a life of repentance.” LBD probably knows shit, dialogue ain’t set in stone, I’m really just trying to set the mood for these events

• If anything, I’d only imagine she knows about the ghost stuff for whatever reason. I don’t know. I’m making my own canon. She can tell he’s died before? She can tell he was cursed, specifically that he was, you know. Powerful/chosen/appointed some high rank. She doesn’t really know his life story.

-She just knows about his ghost status and that he’s died at least twice—she knows some vague details, and that’s only because of plot reasons and also because like. It’s like.

-Yeah she knows he tried to curse a whole realm/all the realms, she’s an ancient demon and has access to certain knowledge

-She wanted to find out who exactly Morro was that she couldn’t take hold of him. So she did some research spirit-wise and found out the basic information of Morro’s rank and role, and that he’s died at least twice, and that he just. Cursed spirit, you know?

-Reading Journey to the West I discovered that apparently you can just up and go to some records or whatever and find some convenient info out

-Literally Wukong did a whole quest to go find out more about LBD in the show

• So Morro is just. The most mortified and distraught and furious at her for the sheer audacity she’s shown to have outed him like that

-MK might even say, “You lied to us?” To which Morro immediately snaps that that’s bs, he did not lie about anything. He just wasn’t telling them every little detail about him.

-He left information out but he didn’t lie because they never specifically asked so yeah lmao

-Morro: “I told you I wasn’t the best person.”

MK: “Dude I thought you were just being like, angsty and edgy.” (Credit: @breathlessboy)

• Oh LBD totally calls him a hypocrite, too

-LBD: “You tried to curse all the realms across time and space, and yet you really think yourself better than I?”

• Morro lets his emotions get the better of him during this whole encounter, I mean he’s been bottling them up for awhile as is

-This is when Wukong went off to go battle LBD on his own

-Morro and MK and Nezha are closer to the whole fight this time, and Morro’s actually trying to lend a hand since he does have powers and all

-Since they’re up in the air a lot, Morro has an extreme advantage, and aids the wind to Wukong’s side while making it way less favorable for LBD

• Either way LBD does this reveal when they’re closer to the ground/on the ground (so MK hears it), and it winds Morro up a lot.

-He’s very emotional at the moment and thus, his powers aren’t the easiest to control? Yes, he’s controlling the wind, but the wind is reacting in tune to his rampaging emotions right now.

-So he can’t focus them completely on, you know. The whole fight. This ends up making things harder for LBD and for Wukong, as well as MK and Nezha who can’t get near him amid the whirlwind he’s practically shielded himself with.

-He’s genuinely upset, he doesn’t want to hear about this after he’s already tried so hard to put it behind him. He had a chance he didn’t even ask for to start fresh with this clean slate, and it’s been ruined.

-Both Wukong and LBD are getting tossed around like rag dolls by the wind which is fun to watch tho lol

-Still, it means they just have to fight harder against the relentless gale

• Morro snapping that he’ll tear LBD apart and inadvertently frightening MK

-Because Morro is so goddamn scary and pissed off right now, his hair’s all a mess and has long since escaped from its bun, his eyes almost seem to glow in the darkness…it’s eerie, to say the least.

• Morro ends up going to attack LBD and unfortunately gets shot down because he’s so emotionally vulnerable she’s able to sneak attack him

-He’s off his game, he’s distracted

-She sorta knocks him out of the air and down into the mech/ground

-He gets up from the crater he’s created and he’s injured, but not badly enough to the point where he can’t stand.

-He is seething and then he spits out another, “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!” which is met with a “Morro, stop!” from a terrified MK nearby

-Nezha is standing in front of MK almost protectively and MK looks extremely shaken up

-MK then having to remind Morro that LBD is possessing a child. They’re fighting a little kid right now.

-It settles Morro down a little bit, lessens some of that frenzied rage, but not by much

• “I’ll rip her out of that kid if I have to—possession can be undone, MK! Even if it takes me having to beat that wench out of her! She won’t possess a vessel that isn’t usable!”

-Which Morro regrets saying immediately upon hearing himself aloud

-He is just. Horror-struck, realizing he sounds just like he used to and hating it immensely.

-“I’m—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…I didn’t…oh First Master, what am I doing? I was trying to be better than this, better than her, and I…”

-He gets so genuinely upset here because he’s trying so hard all this time to do better and be a good person, to make the most of his new life, yet the moment his past is brought up/he has to face that, he immediately snaps. He’s disappointed in himself and it has him fearing that maybe he can’t be redeemed. Maybe, no matter how hard he tries, he won’t be able to change and he’ll always be this—this bitter, awful person doomed to failure.

• Morro‘s very caught up in his breakdown right now and he’s experiencing a lot of not-fun feelings and doubts

-Morro’s gonna choke out something along the lines of “I’ll never be able to change, will I? This is just what I’m always going to be no matter how hard I try. I can’t fix this—I can’t fix what I am, and I don’t deserve to either.” And that in particular is gonna distract Wukong for a brief moment since he’s pinning LBD down on the mech rn, and thus, you know. Possession stuff.

-Morro feels guilty about that afterwards

• Morro also absolutely gets struck by a possessed Wukong at one point

-He’s so freaked out and in his own head that he just doesn’t see the attack coming

-He gets knocked back, MK runs after him, and Nezha holds Monkey King off

• Macaque saves them and Morro knows it’s him, he’s familiar with his magic, and he feels so much relief when those shadows teleport them to safety

• They get dropped in a jungle and into the mud, and MK is you know. Dialoguing to himself before saying to Morro, “Well…we should probably get going,” but Morro is just on his hands and knees in the mud, muttering quietly, “No, don’t go just yet, please stay” to seemingly nothing. MK assumes he’s speaking to him, goes over, and it snaps Morro out of his dazed trance.

-“I wasn’t—I wasn’t talking to you, MK. I…nevermind, just forget I said anything.”

-He was talking to Macaque (who wasn’t there and was already gone maybe? Idk)

-He felt Macaque’s magic and the teleportation and mourned when that went away. Morro just wants to talk with Macaque and vibe. He misses his monke dad.

• Morro’s also in a bit of a daze as he follows MK, he’s definitely aware but at the same time? Sorta disassociating.

• Although when he gets himself together after a few minutes, he’s reverted back to bitter remarks and insults. Unfortunate temporary character regression and hiding behind a wall as a defense mechanism, essentially. He’s withdrawn, he’s upset, and this is just how he copes.

• Oh I also wanna mention that when Macaque delivers the Mayor to the gang and makes his appearance, Morro can’t help himself from rushing forward and tackling him in a hug

-He’s just so relieved and it’s very surprising to the others in the room because 1. Morro doesn’t usually initiate that kind of physical contact and 2. DON’T HUG THE ENEMY

-“I missed you and also I screwed up bad and can I crash at your place when this is all done for a bit? I may need a spot to stay.”

• Dude thinks he’s gonna get kicked out of MK’s apartment for his behavior and also for the secrets that got revealed

• Macaque is taken aback by the sudden onslaught of info but then he sees how absolutely defeated Morro looks and deadass says aloud “Who hurt you??”

• They don't even need to tie Mac up, they just let Morro cling to him and it keeps the monkey in place (credit: @breathlessmonkie)

• Morro: “I never liked the Monkey King but I didn’t want him to get fucking possessed.”

• Oh yeah literally seeing them interact together? Everyone starts asking like “you two are really close? When did this happen??? How did we miss this?”

-Morro revealing “uhhh so I’ve actually been training with Macaque for a while now in secret haha”

• But legit like this is the moment that Macaque decides “This is my kid now.”

-He succumbs to the fate of being dad-caque

• Morro is also the one who voices concern about sending Macaque in to fight against Wukong

• Alsooooo Morro definitely fights by Macaque’s side the best he can for that encounter

-“Dude I know you’re insanely strong and all that but I can help. You shouldn’t have to face him alone.”

• Oh and Morro accusing Red Son of stealing his look lmao

-“Hey fuck you, the sleeveless black top is MY thing”

• Yes I know there’s a lot of things I didn’t go over like the Samadhi Fire, Red Son’s and Morro’s dynamic (spoiler alert: they can and will refer to each other as cousins. Do with that information as you will), a deeper look on Morro’s actual relationships with each character, etc, etc.

• This post is just way too long as is so I’m gonna end it here and continue in a different one

• Oh and one final teaser for y’all: there is absolutely eventually gonna be a confrontation/crossover that happens where the ninja show up and hehe

• I’m plotting and scheming and cackling with delight

#ninjago #art #lego ninjago #my art #nsg #nsg au #noodle shop ghost au #noodle shop ghost #Morro #ninjago morro #lmk #lmk au #lego monkey kid #monkie kid #long post

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