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𝐄𝐁𝐆 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
Oct 2023 ⟡ hosted by @/i23kazu at @/zhongrin
⟣ main ebg post
pinned post | announcement | starter post
𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬
#rin plays ebg | #coviello answers | #coviello is serving tea to: anonymous | #coviello's journal | #??? ships | #coviello rambles
𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬
mirko | risu | moth | psy | alyssa | queen | navina | printsessa| mistress | aine | brosch | princess-syalis | dresvi (tag 1 / tag 2) | holly | shiro | crys | kopi | amy | skylia | mika | virdiaura
𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬
good end: psy | risu
neutral end: dresvi | crys | holly (aftermath) | moth
bad end: anon | queen (aftermath)
𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐲
polls: day 1 | day 2 | happy | day 3 | day 4 | day 5 | day 6 | day 7
cipher: one | two
"...." | like ocean waves fluttering against shores | "what are you doing?" | something is not right | matching jewelries | "........" | mother | not friends | adrenaline rush | lazy day | night stroll
ginger tea | osmanthus tea (fin) // risu's gift <3
story quest: 𝐆𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈
thank you post | explanation post
the letter that legit made me tear up | the interview: one // two // three // four
© 2023 / @zhongrin
#rin plays ebg#masterlist#my god what a grind bahahah#ignore me i'm just putting this here so i can go back and reread stuff eheh#i should develop a more systematic tagging sytem next time hsldkfjklsdjf
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Heyyy can I request a fanfic of bakugou (mha) with an s/o that age regresses (the sfw type) when stressed and overwhelmed? Like having trouble learning for a school subject or the similar, going into that regression state where bakugou comforts the s/o and overall trys and make them feel better. I hope it’s not too much or difficult ^^
Okay, so I've never written an age regression, so please pardon me!
Also, my writing is a little rusty... Btw, I'm back... As is the norm for me I've ended up ghosting y'all 'cause I put too much pressure on myself, but I think I've got things under control... Hopefully... Point is, I won't have expectations for myself to deliver weekly for example, so hopefully I won't have another burn-out like this one anymore.
Imma do all the requests you've sent me before (a long, long time ago), then i think I'll implement some changes/ new stuff
I'm considering making a poll listing some fandoms (video games and animes mostly) to expand what fandoms I write for
+ I'm also considering posting fan art here, but we'll see! ☺️
"Ghfuu..!" Your eyes skim through the sentences on the paper laid out before you, chewing on the end of the pen held in your trembling hand, and you know you're supposed to know how to solve the problem, but you don't. Somehow, no matter how many times you reread that block of text something just falls apart when you try to put it into a simple math equation. That's gotta be it, simple, easy, not at all a problem. So why? Why do you not get it? You know you're not dumb. So you really don't get why...
You have a test tomorrow, you know it's important and it's really stressing you out. But it also makes you angry at yourself- why did you choose to leave doing this to the very last moment? You knew long before how much you struggled with math already, so why didn't you start earlier? Instead, you chose to ignore it and now, sitting at your desk so late at night, you feel so mad and frustrated.
You swing your legs under the desk in frustration, feeling a thick lump in your throat as your vision blurs. You throw your pen against the wall with as much force as you can muster and bring your hands up to your eyes, desperately trying to stop the tears from welling up in your eyes and escaping.
You grit your teeth as you bite down any noises trying to escape your throat, but you can't be bothered to lessen the strength or frequency of yours kicks against the foot of your desk, the frustrated thumps heard even from outside your room.
A soft whimper is all Bakugou hears as he swings the door of your room open, ready to yell at you for making so much noise, but he freezes as he sees you in this state - distressed, inattentative. He quietly closes the door and clicks his tongue, seemingly deciding something in his head as he stalks over to your sniffling, slouched form, your back turned towards him.
"Y/N..." He calls out softly - a stark contrast to his usual explosive personality - and leans down to be level with your face, patiently waiting for any sort of reaction or acknowledgement of his presence from you.
You see him, from the corner of your eyes, but you immediately whip your head to the other side, not wanting him to see you like this. "Go away...." You mumble under your breath, the sentence filled with a childish tone of frustration as you curl up on your chair, laying your cheek on your knees as you hug them closer to yourself.
Instead of insulting you or calling you some name, as you had expected him to do, Bakugou simply sighs and continues staring at you, which frustrates you, for a reason you can't explain. "Don't... Bakugou, stop!" You hiss, waving your hand in front of him to get him to leave you alone. "Y/N, stop with the tantrum." He says firmly, his tone eerily calm as he tilts his head just the slightest bit. His eyes scan the way you sit, how you try to curl up to the best of your abilities, how your body trembles from your shaky breaths as you sniffle, trying to hold back your tears. Then he looks over at your desk, narrowing his eyes at the paper filled with moderately easy math problems. He releases another tired exhale as he sees a few darkened damp spots on the sheet, the marks of your tears, then he looks back at you.
He straightens up and looks around the desk, quickly spotting your pen that rolled right up to your trash can. He picks it up and places it neatly on the paper, waiting for a few seconds as he thinks of what to do next.
"Y/N, baby... Look at me..." He places a hand on your head, gently stroking your scalp and twirling his fingers into your hair, careful not to pull it. "Teddy bear..." He whispers softly, a small smile on the edge of his lips as his hand slides down your face and holds the side of your cheek as it were the most delicate thing, slowly tilting your head to look at him. "Baby, what's wrong?" He wipes a single tear from your eye with his thumb and strokes your skin under your eye as he stares at you with a loving gaze, something entirely reserved just for you.
You let out a frustrated huff as you stare at him, the corners of your eyes red. You pout, but keep silent as you look away, crossing your arms. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what you need help with." He says teasingly, offering you a smile as his other hand joins in holding your face, gently stroking under your eyes. You huff, grimacing at his words.
Upon realising you wouldn't tell him in a straightforward way he tilts his head towards your table and leans down closer to you, his voice much more quiet and softer than before. "Do you want..." Bakugou takes a deep breath, mustering all his mental strength to keep up this gentle front. "Do you want Pom-pom to help you with homework, teddy bear?" He takes a moment to add, "Or do you want something else right now?"
You wipe your tears and swallow, trying to force back your crying, but failing miserably. You try to speak, but your words come out as incoherent babbles, which makes Bakugou chuckle as he looks at you in an adoring way. "Do you not want to do homework right now?" You shake your head, sniffling as you continue desperately wiping your eyes. "Figured." He lets a short laugh before snaking his arms under your knees and behind your back, picking you up and cradling you close to his chest. You immediately cling to him, grasping his shirt in your hands as you lean your head on his shoulder, still crying a little. "It's okay, teddy bear, you don't need to do your homework right now, I'm sure it can wait." You look at him with a frustrated expression, wiping your face in his shirt, smearing your tears and a little bit of your snot on it. "That.... that was uncalled for." He huffs, his voice a little angry, but he tries his best to conceal it as he carries you out of the room.
"What would teddy bear would like to do, hm? Sleep?" You shake your head, biting your lip uncertainly. "Take a walk?" You shake your head again. "Okay, then how about taking a nice, warm bubble bath, and I set up a tablet so you can watch a cartoon while taking a bath?" He offers as he makes his way to the bathroom, swaying you in his arms gently. You nod as your crying softens to sniffling and one of your hands snakes up to play with his spiky hair, loving the funny texture of it as you smile.
He nuzzles your face with his own, not caring about the dampness of your cheeks as a giggle escapes you, your other hand placed on his face, playfully pushing it away. "Pom-pom..." You exhale calmly, still playing with his hair as your eyes flutter and your other hand falls down to his neck, lazily wrapping around it. He winces as he hears the name from your mouth, still not quite accustomed to being called that.
"Teddy bear.." He whispers as he shakes you a little and you open your eyes, recognizing the familiar tiling of the bathroom as Bakugou places you down carefully, holding you up until he's certain you're awake (and willing) enough to stay upright by yourself. "I'm going to run your bath, you can bring any toys you want, if you wanna play with them..." He offered as he walked over to the bathtub and turned the faucet. You nod a bit more enthusiastically as you skip over to the cabinets and open them, excitedly taking out a bunch of toys in one fell swoop and bringing them to Bakugou, who simply looks at you gently as he helps you arrange the toys on the edge of the bathtub. You jump excitedly, feeling impatient as the bathtub filling up feels like it's taking ages, looking at Bakugou with a pout. "Teddy bear, I can't do anything about it..." He says, stroking your head. You roll your eyes and pace around. The logical part of you is, well, sort-of aware of how childish you're being, so you try to tone it down a little. Though the longer you try to behave, the more it seems the bathtub is not filling fast enough and the more difficult it becomes to stay put.
You groan exaggaratedly, throwing your head back and staring at Bakugou, your face inches from him. "Y/N." He warns, briefly glancing at you before returning to tapping the tablet's screen. You let out an annoyed noise as you go around and peer over his shoulder, leaning up against him. Your hand reaches out to point at your favourite cartoon, which Bakugou humors by ruffling your hair then promptly positioning the tablet on the tablet-holder mounted on the wall.
"Happy?" He asks with a hint of irritation, but his eyes remain kind as he looks at you nodding your head, then gestures behind himself to the tub. "Your bath's ready, the towel, toys are here and you can watch your cartoon. Now be a good teddy bear and enjoy the bubble bath, yeah?" "Yeah!" You jump up enthusiastically, giggling. "Alright. I'll be right outside. If you need anything, just call out. Got it?" "Got it." "Great, good teddy bear. I'm proud of ya for being so well-behaved." You avert your gaze in embarrassment, smiling awkwardly as Bakugou leaves and closes the door.
[...]
You giddily skipped down the stairs, four plushies smothered in your arms as you quickly make your way to the couch in the living room and throw yourself on it, landing on three of the plushies, while the fourth falls to the floor. "Careful, sweetie, you might hurt yourself jumping around like that." Bakugou laughs, having grown a little more accustomed to your behaviour and feeling more receptive of your childishness.
He places down a bunch of food, snacks and some take-out he ordered whilst you were enjoying your bath, plopping down beside you and pulling a large blanket over the both of you. One of his arms reaches out and pulls you into is side, leaning his chin on the top of your head, letting out a long sigh.
Today was definitely exhausting for him, not being very good at remaining this calm for hours, but he was more than willing to do it for you.
He just prays the next time you won't be even more unruly.
#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bakugou x reader#age regression#age regressor#sfw#fanfiction#fanfic#fluff#comfort#reader insert#yandere#request#reader
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Hey there,
I hope I'm not bothering you, but I have a question that needs answering and I figured that you as a Stefanologist are probably the best person to turn to with this One
I'm currently writing one a few Camera Nine Fanfictions, since I felt inspired after rereading some of the Comics and seeing the Content here on Tumblr
They are mostly going to be focused one the possible friendships between him and Layla, which works really well but the Proplem I run into is that i don't know how he would respond to being asked a question about his past ( by Layla, as well as possible strangers )
The past itself isn't the proplem, ( I have to admit I have the whole thing planned out in detail based on the scraps we got from the comics) but how he would answer it, if at all.
Would he avoid the question at all costs?
Would he give some cryptic answer?
Would he just tell Layla because he knows he can trust her?
I don't know, honestly. But without some answers given, a real friendship isn't really possible (and would make for a pretty boring fic)
What do you think about it?
(Also I'm really sorry this ask got so long)
Hello!!
You are not bothering at all, on the contrary I am very glad to talk about my favourite camera guy! No ask is long enough in this case!
First let me say that whenever you write the fic, I will be your first reader, we need more of those! I love possible Stefan and Lyla interactions!
And thank you for considering me as your first choice to talk to about this, it's an honour, but let me say that I am no authority, nor expert, so don't let my opinions confine you.
Now, to answer your question:
I think that whether or not he would reply and the way he would reply depends on the moment. When is Lyla asking him, at what point of the story?
If the question is asked early in their friendship, I don't think he would answer. He would either change the subject or ignore it. If he got asked later, he could provide a very generic or cryptic answer. I could also see him lying by omission.
Now, telling Lyla everything is tricky. I could see him doing that, but only under specific circumstances. If their friendship has progressed enough, maybe he could tell her the whole truth, but I can't see him getting into extreme detail.
I think that it would be easier for him to talk unprompted. At a right moment I think that he would open up by himself and share something. He definitely trusts Lyla. He knows that she has secrets too, so he would feel that there's some kind of leverage in his favour. He knows that she can't and wouldn't betray him.
Another scenario where I could see him telling the truth would be if his past got relevant in the present. For example, past enemies coming back or consequences of past actions resurfacing. In this case, I could see him revealing his past if asked under pressure, or to protect Lyla.
Also, I think that the way that he gets asked is important. A very direct question like "Tell me about your past" wouldn't have effect. Stefan answering simpler questions like "have you been in X", "do you know X" seems more possible to me. Generally 'yes or no' questions are more difficult to dodge, so they make excellent starting points for a conversation that will later reveal more important stuff.
Please, have in mind that this is just my opinion. You are free to address the subject in the way that makes the most sense for your story. After all, fanfiction is a what if...?
I hope this has been helpful
TL;DR
It all depends on when and how Lyla asks him. Put them in the "right" conditions that make sense in the context of your story and you couldn't go wrong!
Writing is hard, so have courage and keep going! I can't wait to see what you will come up with, dear stefanologist!
Allow me to tag @madmachaca whose opinion on the subject I'd like to hear (and whose Stefan fics, here on Tumblr, are the most in-character I have ever read, in my opinion)
#thank you for the ask!#it's been a while since I talked about him#stefanology#Stefan Vladuck#camera 9#pkna#ask me#just-a-simpel-narrator
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((just ranting abt writing fanfics you can ignore me lmao. I'm just in a weird place atm but I'm feeling kinda passionate abt writing rn so I'm gonna vent
originally I wrote a lil of this in the tags but then decided to just chuck it under a readmore so people aren't subjected to it against their will. then it got really long.
I'm not actually expecting anyone to read this im just sorta venting to myself. it helps me get my thoughts sorted if I write them down. I can also look back through my #.vat file tag in a few years from now and hopefully be like "wow I'm doing so much better than THAT now", so if that's the case, hi future Vatta! I hope you're having a good day. and if you're not future me, then I still hope you're having a good day, I love you, and this is your chance to turn back bc my rants are boring and LONG
(not turning back yet? ok. your funeral)
so, I haven't been online much bc I've just been in a weird limbo lately and I'm really busy when I'm at home either sorting stuff out or, with my PDA, doing anything I can to avoid my responsibilities lmao
I've been rereading my Tokyo ghoul light novels (I only have Void and Days ? I think they're called), rewatching Zankyou no Terror, and Bungou Stray Dogs (plus the live action Beast film which was? hilarious but I don't think it was supposed to be), and just suffering lmao
(you're still here? wow. you need a hobby. jk. ily)
I've been locked out of the systems at work for a bit, but I still need to be there and wait for the IT ticket to be sorted, so I've gotta be at my desk, cant have my phone or anything, so instead of sitting there doing nothing, I've either been reading, doing codeword puzzles, or I've been writing up 'drafts' for potential fanfics.
in this year of our sufferer 2024. I've been writing up some self indulgent homestuck college AU lmao. I've written over 60 sides of a5, (not inc the inbetween sections where I wrote some stuff on the chromebook at home) some notes, some accidental first draft, bc I wanted something to take up the time. but my handwriting is terrible, I don't write fast enough for my brain, I have a lil dyslexia so the letters and words get jumbled sometimes, and I have this weird thing where I don't do spaces right. but I've been trying to upload it to Google docs with Bixby's photo text extraction. it's pretty good considering how bad my writing is, then I just need to go through and touch it up, the main issues are things like names, there's some letters I do weird like my v turns into an r, or every p it thinks is a capital, but overall. amazing how technology do that.
(see my long ass rambling isn't just confined to venting. I also pretend to write actual things. you can still leave you know. I'm not holding you hostage until you read all this. you have free will)
can't remember how I ended up back in fanfic hell but I read back through like all my old published fics (aside from the cringe ones I orphaned) and the writing isn't terrible. I don't think I actually finished any of them though, which really shows my true nature lmao,,, but I've picked up a few things on my writing style now. and I've got a few things I see other people do that I wanna avoid bc I personally don't like it, and it's mostly about balance, like using names too often/not enough, being too descriptive like All The Time and making the writing really nice, but not much happens in the story so you take like an hour to read each scene, vs not enough description so everything is happening but you don't really get a visual or a breather to appreciate what's happened so far. I've been working on finding my right balance, which is imo easier if you're writing fanfic bc first up you hardly ever have to describe the characters. if someone's reading it they already know who they are. and for scenes you can take some inspo from the source material. does the original work put alot of effort into setting a cool scene? if not, then you don't have to either! if it's 90% scenery then you've gotta do it too I don't make the rules
I'm losing steam now I'm so sleepy and I've gotta go to work in a bit ugh.
(bet you're sleepy reading this too huh. told you it'd be boring)
I've been thinking about trying out writing some BSD fics but on an anonym not linked to my main Ao3, bc the themes are doozys and I kinda just wanna have the freedom of anonymity. also I'm a baby and if someone publicly criticises my stuff without it being a requested critique then it makes me bleh (I've had a few comments in the past of just general negatives, not even constructive feedback, not that I asked for any anyway...), but the abilities are tricky to write for, so it's effort lol
anyway I'm gonna stop now ive gotta get ready for work
(if you actually read this then thanks for going on this emotion deep dive with me. tune in next week when we'll get back to my usual mental breakdown)
#ooc post.#.vat file#genuinely I haven't been online on any blogs lately bc I'm doing. v bad. mental wise.#/rant off
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“Nobody asked about my writing” meme
Thanks for the tag, @tea-understands :) Thankfully I have a small handful of folks who ask me about such things but I do love these memes.
1: what are you currently working on?
The Big Boy Fic! The finale of Earth-197320, which I'm 99% certain I am calling Above the Shadows. And I'll have a fun update on Write Every Day June in a couple days.
2: summarize your current project
It's the fifth and final fic in a series that I started 4 years ago from an anonymous prompt sent to @amethyst-noir. I really clicked with it and she gave me her blessing to pursue it as a full-fledged fic, and here we are today.
Here's my first stab at a proper summary that I wrote for this questionnaire (tell me what you think y'all??):
2019 starts off in crisis-mode as rifts within the borders of reality begin spiraling out of control, drawing the resources of the Masters of the Mystic Arts thin. Tony now juggles the problems of a suddenly-absent Stephen, keeping his work with the sorcerers a secret, and Pepper's uncertain future. Stephen does what he can to maintain the stability of reality while keeping the promises he made. And somewhere out there, the other Stephen Strange is still hiding, putting his own plans into play.
3: summarize your current project poorly
An author split up what should have been a single work into five separate stories because she wanted to fulfill Bingo cards in 2019, leading to a series that the readers are probably going to need to reread because there's so much detail in Fic 5 that calls back to stuff that happened in Fics 1-4. Fics 1-3 match the length of Fic 4, and Fic 5 is well over the length of Fics 1-4 combined, making for even poorer fic splitting choices. Whoops.
4: describe your favorite character or characters
I mean. Do I really need to? If you're on my blog you know who my faves are.
I guess quick summary as they are in the series in particular:
Stephen Strange: Has an enormous guilt complex that he's been working through a lot. He got better with the help of new friends. His work has endeared them to him quite a bit.
Wong: Has taken a leadership role, but not the title of Sorcerer Supreme for reasons not yet established to the readers. Carries his own secrets. Excellent poker face, but not emotionless.
Tony Stark: Has been blatantly ignoring the Accords ever since he went against Ross's back to find Steve in Siberia and has been continuing that trend since. Seeing the feds turn their eyes on Peter changed his opinion quite strongly. The Steve Issue is still difficult.
Other Strange: He thinks the Avengers and Masters of the Mystic Arts have failed their duties and that he can protect all of reality by himself. He just needs more power.
5: post a line from your current project without any context
Closed my eyes and scrolled and went to a random page. This is what came up.
Oh, Jesus Christ. This explained so much about the man.
6: how do you get through writers block?
If it's not something health-related which just makes it physically very hard to work on items, I'll switch projects with my shorter fics. For a long fic like this, I'll put on a sprint and just power through 15 minutes at a time to get the harder bits out.
For health-related stuff (including mental), you sometimes just need to work on that first before you can be in the right space to write.
7: would you want to live in the world of your current work?
Hell no. Superhero worlds are terrible for normal people.
8: briefly discuss your outlining process, if you outline
I write an outline with the main beats of what I want in that chapter. Then when I get to the actual chapter, I'll sometimes expand the outline with more detail in that chapter section itself. I often go back to the main outline and add new things as I come up with them, or switch around elements in the story to a new chapter. This is how the planned outline has grown from around 12 normal chapters and 1 interlude chapter to 18 normal chapters and 2 interlude chapters (with potential for more growth seeing as I'm getting into some areas that have original outlining that I no longer am certain I want to use as they were ideas from over 2 years ago and the story's evolved a lot since then).
9: what is the aesthetic of your current project?
So much plot. Rewriting a lot of the end of phase 3 to push my Found Family agenda. Fix it vibes, but I think it's a natural fix it arc from the canon drama that could have happened in canon if the Russos gave a damn. A lot of character exploration into their own separate journeys and growth arcs. Pretty accurate on Marvel tones with action, drama, a bit of snark and humor. An itty bitty dash of canon romance but we all know I'm including it only because it needs to be there due to the plot and character arc reasons and not because I'm all googly-eyed for the genre.
10: what song sums up your current work the best?
Each chapter in the series takes a song lyric from a specific song and I identify that song with the story pretty heavily. For instance, Illuminating the Shadows took "The Light" from Disturbed.
For Above the Shadows, it's "Phoenix" by Fall Out Boy (who I'm seeing live in concert in a couple days, yay).
Tagging those who I know are writing/trying to write: @mckiwi, @sobeautifullyobsessed, @burglarhobbit, @amethyst-noir. No obligation either way. Also if I didn't tag you please feel free to take this (and you can poke me here if you'd like as a reminder that you're still actively writing fic regardless of the fandom and I'll try to remember for these sorts of things).
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Tag Game
Tag Game!
Thanks to @marlowe-zara for tagging me!
Last song: “As It Was” by Hozier and “Demons” by Imagine Dragons
Now, I know it's quite strictly speaking cheating to put in two, but I used one of them… professionally? Let's just call it that. And both get to me in very particular ways. I don't listen to happy music, I'm beyond hope.
Bonus: I currently have “A Kind Word and a Friendly Face” on repeat because I feel another Sandman musical meta brewing.
Currently watching: Only Murders in the Building
Yeah, I loved the previous seasons, but I'm not entirely sure about the latest one. Started great, feels a bit like the Martin Short show now, and it gets annoying. Maybe it’s just me…
Does Celebrity Masterchef count? I’m sad that way.
Currently Reading (Audiobook): The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté
More a professional thing, also potentially triggering, so not going to go into it too deeply. It’s interesting, but I have to admit I’m not quite getting the hype. But maybe that’s because I deal with that type of stuff on a daily basis.
Currently reading (Hard Copy): Total Sandman brain rot I’m afraid. Currently rereading Dream Hunters and Overture for my next metas. Also dipped back into the Death volume.
Current obsession: More Sandman brain rot. All you Tumblr people are feeding my unhealthy obsession. And I’m totally here for it and not sorry.
Otherwise, my writing (and a lot of it is not Sandman related, I promise).
Tagging a few people, but if you’ve already done this (tag me, I love reading what you’re up to) or can’t be bothered (I know these can be annoying, especially if they come in hard and fast), just ignore.
@violetoftheendless @tickldpnk8 @stan-leigh-bowery @marigoldispeculiar @intothesoul
#tag game
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i have a bit of a personal question so feel free to ignore this ask
can i ask how you figured out you had adhd?(did i spell it right?) and do you have any tricks to making yourself get up and do whatever you got to do?
Wepl, get ready for a rant, because hyperfixations (past and present) are a surefire way to be blab for half an hour.
So, I don't remember 100% /how/ I got diagnosed, It was when I was about six and a half.
Mostly, my mother was Just this side of being an helicopter parent, and she noticed the signs pretty soon. There were many signals, I started to speak later than my sister did, then had problems with pronouncing letters like "r" "s" and "t" despite completely understanding the difference between the words they were used in, used to put my feet wrong which would cause me pain, had bad posture (which would also cause me pain), was extremely energetic in comparison to other kids, would zoon out in the middle of something and become almost completely detached from reality for minutes at a time, would start multiple somethings and leave them incomplete (way more than Is normal for the average kid), when I read out loud, if I misread a Word once, then rereading the exact same passage and helping I'd realize the mistake was a lost cause, my hand to eye coordination was in the negatives, I would bump into things, drop things and stuff like that. Also many more things that don't come ti mind right now.
Because of that I've been misdiagnosed/suspected of having autism (that one also because I have Always liked math, and I think the teachers were a bit too much into the cliché), epilepsy (theory busted with a three day long electroencephalogram), dyslexia, dyslalia and I think I'm forgetting something but want to finish this before tomorrow.
Long story short, each and every single one of those symptoms was because of adhd.
Wrong footing and posture? Distracted.
Same mistake at reading repeatedly? Distracted.
zooning out in maybe low key seizures? Hella distracted.
Couldn't stay still if I tried, no matter classes events or social expectations? Hyperactivity.
Mum noticed It all.
She asked doctors and brought me to visits (I remember a ton of them as a kid, probably why I've always been comfortable in hospitals).
At 6.5 years I had a first diagnosis, but was struggling like Hell at school and barely scraping by (yes in my freaking First year of school I spent more time studying than hanging out with friends with little results).
Lucky me, we live in range of the leading institute and one of the only three in Italy. So when a pediatric psychologist suggested a check up there It wasn't too problematic.
Did some tests. One of the ways to officially determinate if someone had adhd Is doing an IQ test. There are 4 areas analyzed. In regular people the scores are more or less even, but if you have adhd there should be a considerable difference between two areas and the other two. I scored pretty High (I Just Remember It being fun but whatever), but the difference was there. and here's the diagnosis. Also started taking the prescription (and suddenly I could actually follow the lessons without Major headhache) (that still came studying at home, but was better).
Ok, Just realized this went from rambling to oversharing, so back to the point.
As for the ways to trick executive dysfunction?
Mostly stuff I came up by mixing advice and adapting them to my personality.
Like, I find It extremely satisfying to start something at an even hour (like, I don't know, start to study at exactly 14:30?)
Also having someone in the room with me helps (mostly do this with my sister) (not the best in my opinion because I think that's just a way of using anxiety and fear of judgement, but It Is a way to use It go your advantage and if It works It works).
Also, having a set environment/routine for a set task Is good. Your brain Will associate the two and One Will eventually automatically follow the other. (Stuff like, sofa=relax desk=work no exceptions allowed, or cook-eat-clean as a single unit)
Also, starting a task from the easiest part of the One you like the most Is of help. Just like allowing yourself a short break before the task itself with something you reeeeeally enjoy (a fav song, or One of those heaven sent 15 minutes really well written chapters) (those are honestly perfection for a pre-start break, something short and enjoyable with a predetermined and firm stopping point).
Doing so will stimulates the brain to produce dopamine, the neurotransmitter whose underproduction Is the cause of adhd if I remember correctly (tell me if I'm wrong, I'm going on almost 14 years old Memories for some of this stuff). This way you Will have something ti pull you through the hardest part that Is getting started.
When I have to study when tired I have found that working with music Is sometimes an excellent way to trick my brain into believing I have stopped and blessedly chill out with the headhaches. (Other times I become downright murderous if I so much as hear someone breath, but when It works, It works)
You've probably already Heard about setting alarms and using a timer to help keep the tasks contained, or using a planner to make a schedule, but that would imply One actually remembers to use either, sooo... that One really depends on the person.
Ok, now that I've basically written an essay on the phone and probably set to give someone an aneurysm, I bid you goodnight, I'll add the tags tomorrow, now it's sleepy time!
Bye<3
#spoiler:It wasn't half an hour#More like three#😅#Goodnight!#rambling#adhd ramble#circus rambles#living with adhd#tricks for adhd#rambles#ask#supercimi!#adhd
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✨️Get to know me!✨️
Tagged by @anotherghoul666 I feel so popular lol :D
Share your wallpaper: okay my main lock screen is my girlfriend and I, which I am not sharing, so here is my home screen. It is in fact girldick Sunny because I saw Crow (I think?) post it and immediately went "yep I'm using that" (ignore my 8k emails o.o and the fact that its 2am, well 3 by the time I am posting this)
Last song you listened to: Secrets of the Stars by The Milk Carton Kids (working on a fic inspired by it rn)
Currently reading: I'm semi-rereading Dracula but that doesn't count in my opinion because I've read that book too many times. My at work book is Odd Apolocalypse by Dean Koontz (the fifth book in the Odd Thomas series). I had started that series years ago back in college and only recently realized I had stopped at book 4 so I decided to finish it out.
Last movie: Listen, I take zero pride in this but the answer is Goon (2011). I had a super bad week at work last week and it weirdly always makes me feel better. Sometimes you gotta watch a not great movie to make the brain happy.
Craving: I would commit a crime for one of those lemon Italian ices right now.
Currently wearing: Drag Talk tshirt, Astros shorts (I'm a big baseball fan), "Bigfoot is real and he tried to eat my ass" baseball cap to keep my hair out of my face.
How tall are you: a little above 5'7" although people always assume I am taller, I do not know why.
Piercings: I have a singular helix piercing on the right ear that I am still trying to heal but am open to more.
Tattoos: None currently. I love the idea of getting tattoos but also have a policy I have to like the idea for at least a year before I get it and nothing has made it past that waiting period. I'm just not good at permanence.
Glasses/contact lenses: Glasses wearer. They are big and green :). I cannot do contacts cause I got a whole thing about anything getting near my eyes so I can never put them in.
Last drink: strawberry lemonade flavored sparkling water. It's yummy!
Last show: currently working my way through The Expanse
Last thing you ate: Banana bread (I made it myself)
Favorite color: blues and greens which is very apparent when you look at me and that is the color of most stuff I own
Current obsession: I mean Ghost, but also Wild Child released a new album on Friday (they are like more of an indie folk vibe) and I am so excited.
Unrelated obsession: the games Hi-Fi Rush and Melatonin. I LOVE rhythm games so much.
Pets: I have a little gray cat named Pierre! He has a whole backstory my former roommate and I made up lol. He is a little french orphan boy and chimney sweep (hence why he is gray). He also has an overbite and his little fangs poke out of his mouth when he sleeps like little vampire fangs so he is a tiny vampire.
Do you have a crush on someone? Does my girlfriend count because she is the only person who has ever successfully convinced me to care enough to date them. I'm more of a large amount of friends kinda girlie.
Favorite fictional character: I am so bad at picking favorites in general but now my mind is void of every character I have loved ever.
Last place I traveled to: I went to Greece last August with my mother cause it was lifelong dream of hers. I'm sure I've traveled within the states since then but outside of Austin for a concert cannot for the life of me think where.
I feel so lame to once again break this chain but I'm historically late to the game and am fairly certain everyone I know has been tagged already so I'm gonna go for the cheap option of if you want to do this and haven't please consider this me tagging you, even if we haven't really interacted. Have fun <3
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Hi! HAPPY NEW YEAR!✨ I hope that it treats you well and I wish you the best of luck with everything that you’re doing!
I also wanted to say how much I love reading your fics! You write so amazingly and I hang on to every word. I know I’ve said it before, but you’re one of the first blogs I’ve read fics from and I always reread everything you write because it’s all so incredible! I especially love your Joel Miller fics, they get me so pumped for “The Last of Us” coming out this month and you really just write him so so well! I’m just really liking this character, thank for introducing me to a good one.
I hope you know how talented and amazing you are and I appreciate you very much!
thank you for sending this! I hope that the same is true for you going into and lasting throughough 2023. We all need a little more kindness, right?
I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate the things you say about my writing time and time again. It can be difficult sometimes to want to keep going, and to sit here and type away and wonder if people are going to like it, or if they're going to ignore it or if they're going to flat out hate it - but knowing that there are people like you who truly enjoy the words I put onto the page (screen?) means the world to me and to other writers, especially on the days we're down or struggling.
Rereading is another big thing - it's cool to know that the stuff I have up on here isn't just a "one and done"; I love knowing that you come back to these characters and stories multiple times.
.... listen. TLOU is coming. Joel Miller is coming. I am so so so so so excited for people that aren't familiar with him to meet him on the 15/16th.
My Joel's a little different from game and show Joel, just because he's at a much more settled place than he's going to be in the show / as we know him in the first game ... but at the core, he's still Joel. Still grumpy and closed off and hesitant. Still hates to show emotions whenever he can help it.
i'm so glad you love him. I'm so glad you think I write him well - I hope you still think that after the show comes out - that's all I want, is to do right by him. He's my favorite.
I appreciate you very much and don't ever forget it.
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had a panic attack today and i told my partner i felt like for a decade i've put most of life on mute to cope with bpd. no shows, no books, no news, no writing, no friends, no anything for years and years, just rewatching and rereading and numbing myself to keep the scary shit away and it's left me feeling stupid and disconnected and ignorant, and so i've been trying to bring myself back. trying to write, watch, engage. let big emotions just hit me, try not to feel sick on the highs cuz i know the lows are about to hit.
it's not going well. it feels good for two seconds, it feels awful for every second after.
and boy said a bunch of kind things but it kinda felt like we were having two conversations and i don't think that's really his fault. maybe there's just no good response.
"i don't think i was meant to exist cuz my emotions are skyscrapers that i cannot see over. i think maybe i was supposed to die, because i am a hermit with no hobbies who cannot handle watching a tv show and i literally don't know how to be anything else. i try to be something else and i just feel exhausted and overexposed and i want to die more and more and more and more and i can't stop it." is there anything to say to that?
sure i've kept myself alive and i am kind to my partner and i've built some good stuff for myself, i can hear my therapist telling me that even right now, but i don't know if this cardboard box of a life i've made is fucking worth it, you know?
i literally cannot even handle being happy. it takes two seconds at the top of the skyscraper, nauseous with vertigo, before i fall right off the other edge and am so miserable i can't remember why i was happy in the first place.
i think i'd rather just be fucking numb. but then i see posts like that one asking about your highest/lower stats and i was like idk about highest but my lowest is intelligence and that came to me with no effort. years of jokes at my own expense to keep the real shit at bay but yeah actually i just genuinely think i'm stupid and i think about it constantly. barely remember school and haven't learned shit since because if i read a book and it jerks my emotions around i might wanna die afterwards so i just became a fucking shell.
shell of a human being. do Not want to be here.
#suicide tw#i am allergic to water. it itches my throat and it blisters my skin#still i drink cuz i have to. i bathe cuz i have to. but boy it's a pain#but i don't cry cuz it hurts to cry. and i don't go outside in the rain.
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Intro Post!
I update this from time to time, so if it’s been awhile since the last time you looked at it, give it a reread!
Hi, I’m Evan (they/it/any neopronouns)!
I’m 21, and live in California!
You may know of me from TikTok, Ao3, or you may have just come across my Tumblr!
I’ve also made a YouTube! (I haven’t posted anything over there yet, but ya know, just putting it out there!)
All of my posts (including this one) are tagged #my post
All queued posts are tagged #q (Queued posts are scheduled to post 3 times per day)
While asks are open, I may not respond to each/any of them. That being said, any posts responding to an ask will be tagged #ask and #my post (Anonymous asks are turned OFF)
Regardless I hope you have an amazing day and remember to eat food, drink water, take your meds (if you have any!), and to be a good person!
Also, if you need any help with figuring out how to pronounce my name, or how to use my pronouns, head on over to here: en.pronouns.page/u/evanthetrashpanda
My website: evanthetrashpanda.carrd.co
My Boundaries:
(under the keep reading)
Keep in mind that I try to be a very laid back/easy going person, but it is very important to me that all of these are respected.
These apply everywhere, not just on tumblr.
🦝 : I would prefer if you use tone tags when talking to me!
🦝 : Don’t sexualize me. Compliments/admiring me is fine! Just don’t be weird y’know?
(On that note, I do prefer the masculine version of those rather than feminine and/or androgynous)
🦝 : Don’t trauma dump. I care about you and I want you to be as happy as possible, but there’s only so much help I can give you.
If you actively need someone to talk to, please use one of the resources here: Born This Way Foundation - Find A Helpline
🦝 : Do not talk about/joke about triggering topics. I’m fine with the occasional dark humor, but just use common sense (there's a time & place for everything). I will not hesitate to ban/block you if a joke is taken too far.
🦝 : Don’t go looking for my personal info. I keep those things private for my own safety.
That being said, if you doxx me, I can and will take the appropriate legal action in response.
You can learn more about doxxing here: What Is Doxxing - Definition and Explanation And how to protect yourself from doxxing here: Protect yourself from “Doxxing”
🦝 : Don’t baby me. I promise I can take care of myself.
🦝 : I’m fine with fanart, fanfiction, edits, and cosplay!
• I'm fine with being drawn as a person or a raccoon, I have no preference!
• Please put the fic on a website meant for fanfics (like AO3, Wattpad, Quotev, FF.N, etc.) so I don't just randomly run across it.
• Please don't create NSFW or triggering stuff when the content is about me. Doing so about characters I've created and/or portrayed is fine! It's just very triggering when it's actually about me, y'know?
🦝 : You can use my face as your pfp (or art of me as your pfp) just don’t go around spreading drama/negativity. I don’t want to be associated with any of that.
🦝 : Don’t LEGITIMATELY ship me with people. Joking about it is fine! I tend to jokingly flirt with some friends, but don’t take it seriously.
🦝 : Don’t call me “dad", “daddy”, or any other type of parental unit. I’m not qualified to be a father. If anything, I’d prefer to be called a ���weird queer uncle”/“that one gay cousin”/“protective queer brother” or something like that lol
🦝 : Don’t speak on my behalf. If someone is breaking my boundaries/hating me, just ignore it.
You also don't need to tell me if it's happening or not. Chances are, I already know what's going on tbh.
🦝 : If I'm on someone else's stream, don't make it just about me. It's their stream. Be respectful to them.
🦝 : I know I’m a small content creator and I try to interact with you guys a lot, but keep in mind that I don’t know you. I care about you, but unfortunately we are not friends. I don’t have to join vc with you. I don’t have to dm you. I don’t have to respond/collab/make a video about/add you etc. You know me, but I don’t know you.
🦝 : Absolutely do not go purposely looking for the people in my personal life. Some may be on social media and some may not be. If they choose to make an appearance, that is their choice, not mine, yours, or anyone else’s. It’s called a personal life for a reason.
🦝 : If I say I don’t want to do something, that is the end of discussion, no matter the subject at hand.
🦝 : Absolutely do not call me by my deadname. It’s called a deadname for a reason.
🦝 : I know that I talk about my abusers on my socials, but do not go looking for/threaten/stalk/etc. them. They may be shitty people, but let me deal with them.
Last Edited: September 9, 2024 — 1:25pm / 13:25 (Pacific Time — US & Canada)
Reason: Changed the number for the queued posts from 5 to 3
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blah blah talking about my health cos I feel like it, ignore if you're just here for fandom stuff
went for my post-op follow-up monday and finally, finally got a fucking name for what's been wrong with me. am not going to bother googling for the official name again lmao but basically it's chronic (not acute) gallbladder disease. no stones whatsoever, just my gallbladder deciding to give up the ghost and getting inflamed over and over for years and scarring each time and that's why for the past three or four years food has made me gradually more and more sick to my stomach and left in pain after eating until last summer when it finally erupted into the pain that sent me to urgent care who sent me to the ER (yay, more debt I'll never pay).
on the one hand, I'm so goddamned relieved to finally have a diagnosis and KNOW that I'm not fucking imagining it or making it up after all my tests and scans kept coming back as negative/normal (mostly cos no stones, but who knows why the HIDA one showed nothing wrong), but on the other hand, I mentioned the nausea and pain to my GP when it first started and he fucking dismissed the nausea entirely as caused by my acid reflux and wanted to put me on medication for IBS "to see if it helps" without actually TESTING me at all for IBS, it was just because of the stomach pain and absolutely no fucking other typical symptoms (I refused, btw, after googling and seeing that it could CAUSE issues if you took meds and didn't have IBS) and I can't help but feel like it wouldn't have gotten nearly so bad if he'd taken me seriously from the start and referred me to a specialist instead of dicking around and doing fuck-all for a few years. and because I'm poor as fuck and have no insurance, finding a new doctor wasn't an option for me. ugh. hate the state of healthcare in this fucking country. so my relief is kinda soured by that.
anyways, it can take up to two months for my body to adjust and I might always struggle to eat certain things so I'm still kinda hrgh about it and food is still miserable right now, but if I could just get back to being able to eat most of my normal things I could live with that, so... fingers crossed I guess. also the incisions STILL haven't healed, though I finally got the steri-strips off, but tbh that's just made it even harder to not scratch... it's absolutely killing me, I need them to just scar so fucking badly hhhhhh.
also I still have my chronic fatigue and other health problems that I couldn't get my doctor to take seriously, so that's fun. but he left the clinic a few months ago so maybe whoever is going to replace him will be more willing to listen to me. I'm so tired of being tired and if I have to be tired, I want some fucking disability so I can at least buy my own goddamn groceries.
the end. I ate earlier so I'm actually feeling sick so I'm going to reread the last few chapters of my fic and then maybe I'll actually be capable of writing, if the brain fog isn't too bad. stupid fatigue.
#ocassionally I just need to treat my tumblr like it's my old livejournal#I got nowhere else to vent at this point#and I'm beyond caring who reads about my boring life#so sorry not sorry#sigh#real life#ignore me#physical health
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Sinfully Sweetheart pt.9
A/N: uhm yeah my attempt to continue this series with our fav twins... well.. its trashy I'm so sorry lol - tell me if you want a pt2 to this one so I can make it up for you lol (also it’s not really edited since I couldn't get myself to reread this)
other parts can be found in my masterlist
Warnings : slight NSFW, also reader is ‚slightly‘ drunk (but not drunk drunk they can still think straight)
Atsumu & Osamu
Well you and the twins know each other since you’re born practically
Your parents are Highschool friends
And that’s why you’re here now
At some get together of your parents Highschool group
It’s cool and all since you’re friends with some of their daughters, who are almost like sisters for you
And you haven’t seen them that often the past months - you’re all in your 20’s now, meaning different cities, different universities, different jobs, some are already engaged - the whole : Who are you in your 20’s span of : not knowing what you’re getting for dinner to Let me pick up my kids real quick, my husband is still at work
Due to exam season you haven’t had a real chance to dress up or go out, since all your nights are spent in front of your laptop, with a glass of wine at 3am, helping you with your existential crisis and your fits are what you already wore at 3am
SO NOW
It’s your time to…. Feel human again. Taking a shower, putting on a hair and face mask, painting your nails, putting on some lipstick and eyeliner, finally being able to wear all the hot fits you brought at 4am right after your existential crisis - yeah the usual
Currently your moms best friends are gushing over how much you’re grown up etc and telling embarrassing stories of your childhood
The fun part tho - you’ve grown up soooo much - so you’re now getting handed the good stuff and not some apple juice
You’re on your… 3rd Margarita now
Your 2 „Sisters“ at their 4rd - they both brought their boyfriends with them who are also forced to drive tonight
“Why are you still sitting here with us the whole time?“ One of the mums ask, making you all look at her confused
“I mean, shouldn’t you dance?“ She corrected herself laughing
“Yeah, isn’t that the song you three always danced to?“ Your mum laughs.
Talking about embarrassing stories: Yes you danced to “Pony“ by Ginuwine
Atsumu starts laughing, “Yeah please show us, haven’t you just told us how much you missed riding.“
Great. Just great. you ignored the twins the whole time until now.
Why? Well your best friends attends the same college as Atsumu and after all her bragging abilities how lucky you can be to be friends with such good looking twins… you started to look at them differently? They’ve always been the „chaotic twins“ who you know since you can remember. Yet after she gushed about them for hours and proved her points with pictures on instagram You had a rather strange dream that night. And you can’t look at them anymore now The sinning was WAY TOO BAD
Back to the now
Taking a big sip you roll your eyes at his comment and sass “Well, judging from what I’ve heard you’re quite a pro at... instructing how to ride properly.“
Osamu chocked on his drink
Their mother takes a big sip of her red wine
But Atsumu gets up and now towers over you
Fuck
Don’t think of that dream now, Don’t - don’t - don’t
“That’s right.“ He grins, “And as far as I can remember your skills need some serious practice.“ He smirks and now you’re almost choking on your own breath
"Let me help you, yes?“ He extends his hand, but you just look at it while you feel your face getting redder with every second
"Tsumu, stop it.“ Osamu says and you look at him as if he’s your knight in shining armor-
Until he opens his mouth again
"She’s still our small innocent y/n.“ He laughs and looks at you with slightly closed eyes.
"Oh yeah, yer right, I forgot.“ Atsumu laughs, but quickly stops when you get up and take his hand dragging him away from the table to the open space
Was it the Margaritas giving you the confidence? Probably yes.
That has to be the reason why you’re currently placing one of your hands around Atsumu’s neck and press your back on his chest
His hands are placed on your waist, trying to keep it all “our parents are watching“ friendly
Starting to body roll on him you feel his grip tightening, making sure you’re staying as close as possible
When you arch your back though- you hear him coughing “Our parents are still watching.“
As if the playlist heard his wishes, the song changed to “Bootylicious“.
You laugh and turn around “Ohhh come on ( your friends names), that’s our song.“ You say remembering that you three had a whole choreography planned for this song
“Wow and what about me?“ Atsumu teases
“You haven’t given me any instructions so you’re useless.“ You smile brightly and push him away
Laughing it off he walks back to the table and sits down next to Osamu
The whole situation long forgotten you pull of your choreography, which includes way more hip shakes and “I dropped my phone“ or “where’s my phone“ moves than you remembered
Your parents are all outside at this point enjoying the warm summer night
What you’re not noticing though is the fact that Atsumu’s and Osamu’s eyes are fixed on your every move
Slowly they start to realise that you’re not… so innocent anymore
So it doesn’t hurt to play with you a bit right?
That said they join you on the dace floor, together with the others boyfriends
Right now some Sean Paul song’s on
Osamu is right in fort of you meaning he’s you’re new dance partner now - If he wants it or not
But believe me he wants it
Your hands on his chest, running slightly down his torso as you go down to the beat, still looking up at him through your lashes
Getting back up you’re wrapping your arms around Osamu’s neck
Immediately his hands find their way to your lower back, pulling you against him
"Well.. what happened to our innocent babygirl?“ He whispers in your ear
You can feel his breath on your neck His chest pressing against you with every breath he takes His strong grip holing you in place This whole scenario reminds you way too much of your dream
"Ohh, suddenly shy again?“ He teases while guiding your body to move to the beat
"Uhm.. no I - uhm..“ You stutter
"Yes?“ He asks, but before you can answer, you’re pulled away from Osamu and pressed against a slightly more toned chest.
"Samu, you never knew how to share.“ Atsumu grumbles and rests his hands on your hip
"Relax Y/N. We’re just dancing.“ He chuckles
Was it the alcohol? Or the lack of sleep? Or all the pictures your best friend showed you? You have no idea But things escalated quickly and you’re now dancing… unholy with both of the twins
You’re arms around Atsumu’s neck, his thigh between your legs, while Osamu’s hands are on your hips moving them against his
Thank god your parents left the room and your friends are too occupied with their boyfriends to notice
"How about we leave?“ Atsumu suddenly whispers dangerously low in your ear, "I still have to teach you how to ride, don’t I?“ He smirks down at you
"Don’t listen to him.“ Osamu says, “I’m a way better teacher.“ He says and his lips press against he sensitive skin behind your ear.
"Uhm.. I - no - we shouldn’t do this…“ you try to convince them, well more yourself if you’re honest
"If you truly don’t want this.“ Atsumu says and moves a few inches away from you, Osamu doing the same
"I - wait no!“ You exclaim, without even thinking about it
"What’s the magic word?“ Osamu says while walking around you stopping next to his brother
"P- Please..?“ You stutter, not truly sure if you’re actually dreaming all of this again
"Goodgirl.“ Atsumu smirks and pats your head.
"I’ll go and tell our parents that we’re driving you home.“ Osamu says and is about to leave when you hold onto his arm
"Wait!! Non of us can drive though!“ You remember
"… Atsumu and I both got a drivers license?“ He asks confused
"Yeah yeah I do too, but we can’t drive! We all drank too much.“ You mumble
To your surprise both of them laugh
"What?“ You look between the two of them
"Baby,…, non of us drank any alcohol.“ Atsumu says and Osamu continues his way outside, telling your parents that you’re too tired from the past week and they’ll make sure to get you home safely
"You… you didn’t?“ You ask shocked.
"No baby, after seeing you dace, we’re sure that you’ll be needing all of our attention later on.“ He smiles and leans down, "And you’ll get all of our attention.“ He whispers the last part and emphasises the all
You gulp and look at him with big eyes
What exactly have you gotten yourself into?
let me just tag you @kenmasgameboy so you know what trash I was talking about alsooo @saucysamu @shoyosun since Osamu is included
#haikyuu reactions#haikyuu headcanons#atsumu headcanons#atsumu x reader#atsumu hcs#osamu headcanons#osamu x reader#haikyuu x reader
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Heyy, just wanted to say I LOVE your stories (and all you headcanons and tags hehe) I'm new here and wanted to ask how and when you started writing fanfiction for star wars and if you have any tips 😊
hello! thank you for the kind words :’) and of course, welcome!!
so if we want to get really technical about things, i started writing star wars fic like,,,,waaaay back in 2013, and i kinda cringe a little when i think of those fics now because lol i was thirteen years old then--and i wrote for a little while until maybe 2016-ish? and then took a break because of mental health things, and then got back into writing fic in the past year and a half or so!
as for the how, i wanted to write star wars fic mostly because as a thirteen year old, i was devastated by the season five finale (back then, that was when the show just got cancelled and the season five finale was the only series finale we were gonna get!), and i just kinda wanted to write all these stories about the tcw fam actually being happy. filling in the gaps and all. (lol considering how my gut reaction to the tcw season seven finale was also to write as much fic as possible, i can safely say that some things just don’t change.)
as for tips! i got a little into writing gen fic specifically here, but as for writing fic in general: (and under the cut because i,,,as usual, went off for a while.)
1. rewatch/reread source material! this is something i usually do when i’m trying to refresh my memory on a certain episode--i won’t watch through the whole thing, sometimes i’ll just kind of jump around, but i like to get some quick look back into the source stuff to put myself in the right headspace to explore how to extend/expand the story somehow.
of course, if you’re writing something that’s an AU then you don’t really have to worry about this, but!! rewatching the source can also just be super helpful when you’re trying to characterize properly/try to get a feel for what the characters’ voices are like.
2. wookiepedia is your best friend, but if you don’t have enough info on something, either search through fanon star wars meta or!! just make up something on your own! like, i cannot tell you the amount of times i’ve wanted to tear my hair out because i couldn’t find enough information on x or if i had to stop and be like “wait, but does star wars even have y??” sometimes, wookiepedia is helpful for providing those answers, and other times, blogs like @gffa really provides a big, broad look at all the stuff in star wars, and her blog kinda runs like wookiepedia itself, so i can guarantee that you’ll find some useful stuff if you’re ever kind of lost about what certain jedi customs/culture or in general, what different cultures were like in the galaxy far, far away.
but also, as i’ve mentioned, i think it’s okay to just kinda ignore the technical stuff and just make something up in star wars as you go along. you don’t like that glass in star wars is called transparisteel? then use glass. you’re not sure if star wars even celebrates the new year? screw it, why not? you’re the writer--you get creative license!
3. there is no such thing as “too much” of one trope. so, idk if you might struggle with this, but just in case you do--sometimes, fic writers will hit a wall and be like “no i can’t post this because so many people have already written about this/used this trope/etc.” to that, i say pffft, nah. there’s a post floating around here on tumblr about a cake analogy and how like,,,to you, you might have just brought another cake to a party with already so many cakes, and you might feel kinda embarrassed about that, but to the large majority of people? all they see is more cake, and who doesn’t love more cake?
what i’m basically trying to get at here is!! write whatever you want and don’t worry about if someone’s already done it, because everyone in fandom lives to see their favorite storylines expanded over and over and over again/everyone lives to see their favorite tropes used over and over and over again. fic is wonderful for that very reason, and you shouldn’t deprive yourself of enjoying that.
4. this might seem kinda trivial, but spellcheck and formatting is...mostly important. the unfortunate thing about fic is that sometimes people will click out the second they see a huge block of text like so:
“this is just a practice run,” i say as i start this paragrah. i don’t really know what i’m writing about but this is an example, and i know that this is probably going to look really, really ugly on the screen but here we go oh the things i do for explaining fic i already know that this has gone long enough but who is to stop me you know? wait no i haven’t made any spelling errors yet to prove my point so okay let me think of a common spelling error i can’t think of any right now but hm let’s see i will causally say that i have made a spelling error. oh look! i have made a spelling error (well, not a spelling error, more like a mix-up of words) because you can tell that instead of writing casually which would be more correct i wrote causally and those two are very different things. but there are other spelling errors that can sometimes be a turn-off for readers like when they notice that the k in kenobi isn’t capitilized and once or twice that’s all fine and most people will overlook that, but if you do that consistently then most people will be turned off and click into another fic and oh dear it seems that i am actually explaining things so i guess that means i should stop with this ugly paragraph and actually move forward. “move on!” i shout to myself now. (and just pretend that something like this continues for a good two or three pages.)
do you see how ugly that is? it’s an eye-strain to most people when they read, and you can write the most beautiful fic in the world, but if the formatting and the spelling is off, then most people will move to a different fic. (which is, again, unfortunate, especially for younger and newer writers, but! ‘tis a thing that comes with fic.)
5. have fun! don’t get yourself caught up with appealing to the crowd. write what you want to write first and foremost, because at the end of the day, it’s you who’s putting in the work and the effort to craft a story, and if you’re about to invest your time and energy into anything in your free time, then it should be something that brings you at least some joy and comfort. so go on and write, and keep writing if you enjoy it! no one can take that away from you.
hope that all helps!!
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okay it's getting late and i'm only just finished with chapter 6- but quil best writer award when???
seriously though i haven't been invested in kotlc in a short while because of other stuff and the lack of new official content, but dang- this is really good- it's like a full book! like full- with the storyline, and the wording, and the development! i checked the wordcount before i started reading- and quil... you WROTE A WHOLE BOOK?! you're still writing a book!
I just- wow!
anyways i'll be back to finish this in the next few days, but i'm super excited to catch up and i'm super excited for dragon wings marella lol
i think you should know that every time I answer one of these I have to pull up the chapter you're talking about in a different tab because i never remember what happens in each one. You probably know what happens in the first chapters better than I do tbh, which I think is hilarious. but back to what you're saying
"quil best writer award when." I'm. I am floored. I am speechless. I am so flattered. this is such high praise!! i am just a funky little guy writing some funky little words!! I feel I must confess this: I actually hardly edit the au at all. ever. when I say I'm "editing" I actually mean "I'm reading it once to see if there's obvious things wrong or things I want to explain more" but that's it. every chapter has just been a first draft, go with the flow kinda thing. and yet!! here we are!! I don't even know what i'd do with a best writer award--probably put it next to the new dragon on my bookshelf so they could vibe. I don't know if what i'm saying makes any sense, but ahh!! thank you!!
I will single-handedly rebuild the fandom during this content drought and reel you all back in with my novel-length fanfiction /j. okay but honestly the wings au is probably gonna turn out to be like...actually fantasy-novel length at this rate. like a published novel. but thank you so much--the storyline was one of the things I was hesitant about when i first published it, because I essentially just went "hey. remember those eight and a half novels and all their worldbuilding? forget almost everything. i've broken it into pieces and we're starting over." but you all have been overwhelmingly kind and supportive of all the changes and the way i've incorporated their old world into this new one I broke. and the wording! I try to stay true to some of Shannon's style, as sometimes when a fanfic author has a style too different from the original media it can feel weird and less like the characters (not always! there are several fics out there with very unique writing styles that don't feel strange at all, this is just something I've personally noticed). But, shannon is also writing for middle grade, and I wanted to add my own personal twist instead of just using her voice. so there's some things of my own that I do (most noticeable is the intentional misuse of grammar for drama, probably, but I am curious what else you all notice that's unique to me) and don't do (I don't think i've used "corrected" as a dialogue tag more than a handful of times) to separate it. and then the development! a lot of development in canon rn has to do with romantic relationships, as we're focusing on the aftermath of sophitz and a focus on sophie and keefe, but we can't separate them from their tension and denial at the moment. I think there's a lot more to them we don't get to see because of it, so I'm trying to develop some of that in the wings au (and there's some characters I just haven't gotten to yet, like Wylie and Maruca, so I'm not ignoring them, dw)
and yes! I am still basically writing a book! at this point I should design a cover for it too...I wonder what would be on it, the parts that stand out the most in the story that I should symbolize it all in one image. but before I get to that I should continue writing the story I suppose! I'm currently maybe 40% (rough estimate) of the way through writing chapter 13, but I must admit my classes do make it annoying at times, taking up more time than I would like (this is what I get for taking more classes than I strictly needed to. I do not know how to take a break when it comes to education /lh). but that's not important rn
you sent this a few days ago, so I don't know if you've finished your reread/catch-up since then, but if you did I hope you enjoyed it!! if you haven't then I hope you will enjoy if you ever do read the rest! there's about a week before the next chapter comes out, which is around 8.1k words at the moment (same length as the last one), so if you are caught up then there's even more to look forward to soon! and i'll probably post the first snippet from chapter 12 tomorrow, as I usually do that the sunday before posting day.
dragon wings Marella owns my entire heart and i'm very excited to do more with her (was actually writing about her earlier today!).
#if you cannot tell from my blog theme#and the figurine I bought the other day#i like dragons#so I'm very excited to have added them (not in the anxious dog way shannon did) to the story!!#i should add dragons to my oc world hang on#they might exist in there but it's not the most important thing and also I haven't worked on that world in a while so I don't remember#hmm#many thoughts head full#and those weird noises outside are persisting?? what is happening??#i digress#i am very glad you like the au and I love hearing your commentary as you go though it#i'm going to be thinking about that best writer award thing for a while#like damn#that is !! so good !! thank you#kotlc#kotlc wings au#wings au asks#shattered upside down#if-ten-million-fireflies#quil's queries#nonsie love#tw caps
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welcome back to "I'm forcing my thoughts/weird emotions after rereading the manga after a year into your dash"-
Part 2/?
- ah moralities -
aw look at O!ciel having a general concern for society. and, Sebastian...
...
- (T,~~~T,) -
0,~0
yes. you hug that bunny
because you need it
...
- POSTURE- oh -
I know Sebastian is fancy and extra and aesthetic and all~ that but YOU ARE A GROWN BRITISH MAN USE THE CORRECT FENCING POSTURE
ah never mind all clear. carry on.
(well actually it's still not perfect but eh~ assuming you could fence if you were holding the blade in your mouth carry on -_-)
...
- interesting eye ya got there -
so this is something that I don't see now in the recent manga chapters, or atleast what I remember. and that's probably for a good reason. but I do still find it very interesting. I don't know if I remember this panel from last year or if it's because I read a post where someone else discussed this but anyway I'm just gonna touch back on this. what I think~ many people saw here was ciels eye appearing to be like that of a demons, and I think that effect may have been purposeful. some people may have thought that this foreshadowed ciel "becoming a demon" (and by "some people" I mean all the writers and crew of season two • - •) but assuming that yana isn't going to take... that aprouch... I'm going for the simple analysis that this demon eye effect happens whenever we see ciel become demonic, in a way. it's pretty simple so I don't know why it's so hard for me to explain it, I'm bad with words i know. I can't remember if this eye effect happens any other times after this (right now ciel is basically telling soma after his fit that losing people is nothing to cry about) so I will have to notify myself if I see it again. yana could have definetly just abandoned this idea of possible symbolism because it could have been seen as tacky, or she just didn't want people getting any ideas(season 2 • - •).
what I mean by ciel becoming demonic is that I believe that what is happening right now is that ciel is showing how the demonic presence in his life has influenced him to this present day in life. like I said earlier, ciel is explaining he has basically never felt sorrow for losing someone close to him, "once something is truly lost, you can never get it back", paraphrasing. however- this is not true, really. it is true that ciel no longer mourns his parents or brother because he has put himself into this mature secluded egotistical bubble. but we know from ciels flashback in later chapters that he very much did mourn his family if not for a brief moment.
but thanks to this bubble that he has created for himself, or more correctly, that Sebastian has enforced and helped create around ciel due to his demonic morals and outside opinions on humanity l, ciel, on the outside, does not feel sorrow or complain about his life conditions, he does everything he told soma in this chapter.
so to sum this long thing up, ciels eye appears like a demons eye because his mindset has become like Sebastian. probably should have just left it at that~
and ofc it could not be a slit pupil at all and just a weird reflection. so feel free to just ignore this one~
...
- this may take a while -
this is something that i recently started wondering while remembering the foundation of the contract- ciel needs to personally kill and humiliate every single person involved with his families murder, revenge and stuff. but what I was wondering is "how is he gonna do that?"
in the beggining of the manga he seemed pretty concentrated on that and seemed on a good path for revenge.
but thanks to the queen, he's been distracted with the circus, that whole thing with his butler getting murdered, hogwarts school of bullying and blasphemy, GERMANY, and the undertaker above all! so, he has his hands full. so how is he going to track down all of the people who did him dirty?
and then I read this panel
and I went "oh"
but, this still doesn't completely~ discredit what I said above. there is a lot going on, so in the chance that they do eventually get rid of the undertaker's and r!ciel's threat... back to revenge then???
though personally I get a feeling that his revenge is all going to he intertwined with the current plot, as it usually is. especially if it was the queen the entire time, it's not so hard to find her and with a demon just go... ya know.
unless of course, one of them dies. that is also always a possible ending. I actually have no idea with yana.
...
- why so surprised man -
HAH
HIS FACE
...
thank you for reading if you did and have a good day~ ^v^
#kuroshitsuji#black butler#night thoughts#im sorry#manga#manga panels#black butler manga#ciel phantomhive#sebastian michealis#yana toboso
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