#ignore that i spelled my username wrong okay. thanks

[gts350]

just a coca-cola cowboy 💊🐎

[newwwwusername]

Fellow person suffering from acid reflux/ GERD 👋, heard you're curious to write fanfics about it, could I please request a monster high one, hurt/comfort, mainly being about Draculaura, Frankie, and Clawdeen? Draculaura is my comfort character and I heavily project onto her so I'd definitely be curious to see how you write her out. Thank you!

Please do not repost on other platforms. This will be posted on AO3 and TTBC under the same username.

A common misconception about vampires was that, due to their undead nature, they didn't suffer from common living ailments. Unfortunately for Draculaura, this was not the case.

Ever since she was a little girl, she could remember this uncomfortable feeling in her chest and throat, usually after she'd gotten done eating or drinking something. She would throw up in her mouth sometimes but it typically stayed in the back of her throat, stinging uncomfortably.

She didn't say anything about it, though, because she figured it was just one of those things that everybody dealt with. Besides, it wasn't the worst thing ever. Just some stomach acid coming up and some chest pain.

As she got older, it got worse, though she barely even realized that it had. Sometimes it would get bad enough to where she would end up spitting the bile out onto the pavement below. Still, she didn't realize this wasn't normal.

One day, she was having an especially hard time. Sitting down in her chair seemed to be worsening the feeling a tiny bit so she got up and went into her coffin without a word.

Clawdeen and Frankie exchanged a glance. It was the middle of the day. It was uncommon for Draculaura to retreat like that in the middle of the day. Something was wrong.

Clawdeen stood cautiously, which Frankie mirrored, and the two walked over to the coffin. "Draculaura, hey" Clawdeen said, loud enough for the vampire to hear through the wood but quiet enough to not startle Frankie. "Everything okay"

"I'm okay" Draculaura said, opening the coffin lid. "Just some stomach acid"

"What do you mean?" Clawdeen asked, concerned. Draculaura frowned. She didn't think this needed to be explained since everyone dealt with this.

"I was just throwing up stomach acid" she explained nonchalantly, trying to ignore the clear increase of concern on the werewolf's face. "Like, in the back of my throat, and sitting down was making it worse so I came in here"

"Are you sick?" Clawdeen asked.

"What? No"

Just then, Frankie's head snapped up like it did whenever a new piece of information came to their mind. Both of the girls looked over at them in anticipation for what was hopefully an explanation.

"Acid reflux is when stomach acid flows back into the esophagus, often causing discomfort such as chest pain or throat irritation" the monster explained. "If it happens consistently over a long period of time, it is likely Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease or GERD for short"

"Wait, that's not normal?" Draculaura asked. She was shocked. All this time, she was sure this was just another one of those things that everyone dealt with. She wondered what else wasn't as common as she assumed.

"No" Frankie confirmed. "But it is treatable"

"That sounds awful, Draculaura" Clawdeen spoke up sympathetically. "Has this been happening for a while?"

"All my life"

"Wow..." Clawdeen sighed. Just then, some more bile came up Draculaura's throat. She uncomfortably swallowed it back, wincing as it burned down her throat. "Frankie, you said it's treatable" she turned to the monster. "How?"

"Well, there's medications you can take" they said vaguely, then their eyes snapped again. "The most common treatment for acid reflux is antiacid medication, which reduces the amount of acid in your stomach, aiding in common reflux symptoms. There are also lifestyle changes that can help reduce symptoms, mainly dietary restrictions"

"I'll see if there are any spells that can help" Draculaura decided. "If not, I'll talk to the nurse. Right now, I think I just need to ride this out"

Frankie and Clawdeen both exchanged another glance, worried for their friend. It was Clawdeen who eventually spoke up again.

"Okay" she said. "Well, let us know if there's anything else we can do"

"Thanks, you two" the vampire said, a genuine grin on her face despite the discomfort she was in. "You both are the best. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you guys"

"Aw, we love you too" Clawdeen said. Frankie just smiled and nodded.

This sucked but, with her friends by her side and the road to treatment ahead of her, Draculaura knew she'd be okay.

[laszlosharmonica]

Prompt: #67 "you're bleeding all over my carpet"

Ship: Taako and Kravitz

Words: 845

BLOOD TW

My babe requested some Taakitz so here it is. (Post their date pre finale)

Taako is not the dish-doing type, usually he'd just use a spell but he is incredibly and absolutely bored. Merle is off god-knows-where probably having an affair with a ficus, and while he isn't sure what Magnus does in his free time, maybe with Carey and Killian or trying to convince Lucas to help with making a suit a dog could wear to allow them on the moon, either way he isn't home. So he goes about his business almost done when a gust of wind hits his back, stopping, tense and anticipating something bad, his ears folding down waiting. 

"Taako," The familiar work accentless voice of Kravitz fills the silence, his breathing heavy. 

Taako turns on his heel practically throwing the cup he was holding down, just in time to see Kravitz crumple to his knees, the portal behind him closing and scythe dissipating. 

"Holy shit Kravitz!" Is all that comes out his mouth as he rushes across the room to brace the man. 

Kravitz is shaky, barely able to hold himself up before Taako catches him in an embrace, letting Kravitz lean against him and breathe for a moment. 

"Taako, I'm sorry, I needed to get out of there and this was the first place I thought of," He says his chin on Taako's shoulder, trying to catch his breath. 

That wasn't entirely true, his only thought in that moment had been Taako not his apartment. 

"Shh, it's okay, I've got you," Taako's voice is gentle but worried as he looks him over, eyes widening a little when he notices the blood on the carpet beneath them. "Uh Kravitz? Honey you're bleeding." 

"Oh fuck," Kravitz says, regaining enough strength to lean back so they are looking at each other. "I didn't realize they'd actually managed to hit me." 

"Come on, let's see what your whole deal is," Taako says getting up and helping Kravitz over to the couch so he could actually see where the blood is coming from. "What happened?" 

"Necromancers," Kravitz says, allowing Taako to undo the clasp on his cloak and take it off. "They don't take very kindly to me and they know enough spells to fuck me up real bad."

Kravitz's white shirt is disrupted by patches of red, one near his collar another on his right arm and the biggest and obviously the cause of the puddle on the carpet on his right side. 

Taako's face must give him away because Kravitz quickly looks down before wincing.

"It's not as bad as it looks, I can heal and pretty quickly at that," Kravitz says. 

"Okay bucko but if you think I'm not gonna patch you up you're wrong," Taako says, putting his hands on his hips, his ears now up again.

Taako walks out the room not waiting for his response to get the first-aid kit, coming back and putting it on the couch next to Kravitz. 

"You're gonna have to lose the shirt, or I can take it off if you're still shaky," 

"I got it," Kravitz says, carefully removing it and ignoring the stinging in his wounds. "Uh, is me being here going to freak out your roommates?" 

Taako tilts Kravitz's chin up so he can get to the scratch on his collarbone easily, this one small enough to cover up with a fantasy band-aid. "Ehh maybe, but honestly? I don't even give a shit my dude." 

Kravitz laughs softly, Taako enjoys the sound. Gently he cleans the wound on his arm before bandaging and wrapping it, securing it with a safety pin, he can feel Kravitz watching him as he works.

“You do this often?”

“Is that some jealousy there tall dark and handsome?” Taako says with a smirk, tucking his hair behind his ear to keep it out of his face as he gets ready to patch the worst injury. “No usually it’s just my own injuries, I don’t remember when I learned but it’s come in handy many times.” 

Taako gets Kravitz to lay back on the couch so he can reach what he’s working on easily.

“You don’t have to worry about hurting me, I don’t feel pain like the living do, this is like a shitty scraped knee.” 

“Noted.” The smaller elf says working fast, grateful when Kravitz doesn’t seemed bothered. After securely bandaging it Taako grabs Kravitz’s shirt. “I’ll put this in the wash for you.”

“Thank you,” Kravitz says, already feeling better. 

“And uh, I think I have a shirt I stole from Magnus that you can wear,” Taako calls from the other room, walking out with a shirt in hand a few minutes later. “Unless you’d rather stay shirtless…” 

Kravitz smiles, taking the navy blue shirt with 'I think dogs should vote' written on it offered to him. "Sorry to disappoint," 

"No biggie," Taako says sitting down besides Kravitz. "Oh, you're gonna have to explain the stain to Merle, he made the rug." 

"Shit, really?" 

"No I'm fucking with you, we got that from fantasy Ikea."

Thank you so much for reading, if you'd like to check out my other work on ao3, my username is BeaconLikeFromTV

[james-bucky-barnackle]

Two Night Stand (Part 2)

Synopsis: (AU) You can’t wait for your contract to end and get that recommendation to get an actual job as a writer so you found yourself at a club drinking away to forget about the stress of your shitty job as the assistant of the biggest Editor in New York, you end up hooking up with the man of your dreams only to wake up to a nightmare when you find out he’s the son of your boss.

PART 1 | 2NS Masterlist

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: I never thought people would read the first one, I was really overwhelmed by the feedback bc I’m such a rookie at this, thank you! PS. If a username by @mawimey replies, that’s me lol hahaha its my personal acc thank u I’ll stop talking now.

I need air. I gave Bucky, a quick smile, a really nervous smile as I then look outside the car window like I’m breaking the fourth wall. Can I open the windows? I need to open the windows, is the AC even on? Because I swear it’s not. Oh dear, there goes a drop of sweat on my forehead.

“Vis, do you mind turning the AC up?” I shakily say, at this rate they’d think I’m an old woman by the number of curves my voice did if they didn’t see who’s lips that inquiry came from.

“It’s on full blast, Miss Y/N.” it is? Which car company made this? Because it’s clearly not feeling like it’s on full blast. I put my hand on the window switch and I’m fidgeting.

“You don’t mind if I open one of the windows, right?” I look at Vision and then quickly at Bucky before returning my gaze to the rear view mirror.

“Uh Mr. Barnes, do you mind if Miss-“ Bucky shrugs, he’s clearly keeping a laugh in.

“He doesn’t!” I say louder than I intended and open the window halfway down.

“Oh, I guess I don’t,” he raises his eyebrows at me, amused and lets out a small chuckle.

I’m fanning myself vigorously with my hands and I slouch on the backseat. I’ve pulled my head pretty low it would look like Bucky’s sitting in the back of the car with a child. I don’t even care about what I look right now, I’m too overwhelmed with the situation I’m currently in. 30 over 30?! Why did I not think he’d be a perfect candidate for influential men under 30?! Of course, he is, he’s successful I mean look at him. He’s dressed in really expensive looking clothes, which I bet they are, he seems like a smart guy, he plays polo, he’s got a goddamn humanitarian trophy for Pete’s sake and that damn penthouse certainly spells successful. I didn’t realize I was making weird faces as I was mentally torturing myself when a voice breaks my internal loathing.

“Are you alright?” its Vis, peering through the mirror. I nod and breathe a quick “Yep!” holding a thumb up.

“She looked pretty okay last night to me at the-” that’s it. I pinch Bucky’s shoulder. “Ow!” The last thing I need is Vis knowing anything and eventually saying something to Winifred that will get me in trouble.

I place both of my hands on his shoulders patting it hard while I was smiling to keep Vision’s curiosity at a low. “Your shirt’s got dust in them, a lot of dust! They really need to clean the car seats every time someone uses it!”

I give him my best smile as I pretend to wipe something off his chest. An angelic one, the one that wins the miss congeniality award. Wrong move, I’m now looking at his eyes and him into mine. The events of last night flashing back, our faces are way too close, but I can’t seem to pull away. His eyes are amazingly steel blue, and I’m looking into them like they’re a rear gem. My hands stop and he looks down at my lips which suddenly part, he bites his lower lip and his face inches closer. The car pulls to a sudden halt and Vision apologizes, we’re at a red light. Bucky doesn’t flinch, but the red lights aren’t just on the street anymore, they are now tacked on my head. Bucky’s untouchable, don’t even think about it, I can’t lose my job, I can’t ruin the plan just because of a guy. I finally get my shit together and back away, my hands releasing themselves from the surface of his shirt. I sit upright at the far left of the vehicle. He looks crushed, and so am I.

The rest of the ride was silent. The tension inside the car is intense, I feel like a teenager with raging hormones. Both Bucky and I keep stealing glances at each other, like we’re cheating on a college midterm, with me quickly looking away whenever our eyes met.

“We’ve arrived” Vision sounds like the male version of Siri. He gets out and opens the car for me and then Bucky after. I’m quick to my feet as I follow behind him, we thank Vision who says he’ll be waiting for us outside. Okay, now Vision’s gone, silence is still laced around the two of us. Is it weird how I suddenly miss Bucky’s smart mouth? It’s awkward without anyone saying anything, it’s like white noise and I don’t know what’s gonna drive me insane, how much I actually crave attention from him or how I much I need to resist myself from getting myself fired.

Bucky and I walk to the lobby of the building where a tall porcelain skinned, statuesque receptionist speaks too slow, forcing her voice to sound husky and sultry for her own good. She sounds like Daffy Duck if you ask me. She’s ignores me when I ask about Bucky’s appointment and makes googly eyes with him. He’s not into it, but when he sees me annoyed he gives her a wink. A wink! Wow, really? Okay mister. He thanks her and he starts to walk towards the elevator, I shot the receptionist a quick stare that said this-snack-is-mine, we aren’t dating nor do I plan on it, damn you Winnie! But that gives me a lot of brownie points, he’s the top liner in the experiences bracket of my dating resume.

Great, another elevator ride. He presses floor twenty-two and we stand there in silence. I’m surprised at the next awkward thing I do- I whistle. What in the book of awkwardness did I learn that? Great it’s Britney Spears’ Criminal, great. I’m sinking into an invisible hole. My mouth has a mind of its own. Why isn’t anyone else getting on the elevator? He’s looking at me, of course he’s looking at me, I’m whistling Britney in the elevator like a pervert. I press my lips together to a tight line and smile at him as I look up and down. This elevator’s moving really slow, or so I think it is. There’s so much silence in the elevator. Where is the elevator music?! Should I talk to him about this morning? I feel like he’s already put two and two together on why I left without saying anything other than making a sticky note be my spokesperson. He smells so good; his scent is all over the lift. I should focus on something else other than him, I really should. I need to stop thinking about him and what happened last night, or this morning. Think of what will happen to you if Winnie finds out, Y/N! But then, I still want to at least apologize to him, that’s what a decent human being would do right? Or maybe engage in some small talk, after all we’ll be together the whole afternoon.

“You know,” he breaks the silence, shit! Here we go. I turn my head to face him, “that was a risky move.”

“What was?” of course I know what it was, why am I being an ass about it by asking him.

“Leaving a sticky note to defend you for your absence,” I knew he’ll bring that up again, he’s smiling. Why is he smiling? While I’m here feeling guilty as hell.

“I like to be mysterious,” I’m trying my best to ride the wave he’s putting through.

“It’s something I’ve come to notice,” a smile crosses my lips. He’s so nice, it feels so wrong for him to be after what I just did.

I manage to say nothing back. Nothing! Not even a long “Hmmm”. I just stood there, biting my lip contemplating, until the elevator opened to our floor. I walk out first and he puts his hand on the small of my back and in the quick second, it sent shivers up my spine. I’m going to faint, he probably did it on purpose. We enter a studio with racks of clothes lined up, a platform in the middle and mannequins lined up with various pieces of cloth and pins stuck to it.

“There he is, James Bucky Barnes,” an attractive blonde Calvin Klein looking model stands up from one of the velvet sofas and greets us as Bucky gives him a hug. I’m staring at two of God’s greatest gifts to mankind. These two-look ethereal.

“You left me last night, you know that?” Ken doll speaks, I’m calling him that until I know his name and maybe tell Wanda to stalk his Instagram later.

“I was occupied,” Bucky smirks as he walks a little back to stand next to me. I look down, is he talking about me? I need to smack myself, I’m too conceited for my own good. “Besides, you were having fun with the brunette, what’s her name again? Meggy?”

“It’s Peggy,” he laughs, “and I bet you were, who’s the unlucky girl?” Are they talking about me? Which me is it, last night or today? Because I’m playing the role of an assistant and apparently a part time runner. They walk towards the one of the racks and I follow as a small woman assists them, she’s probably the stylist. Should I even be following them? I’m here for the fitting I should go help the stylist so I do.

“I’m unlucky, she left before I even woke up,” Bucky gives Ken doll puppy dog eyes and his eyes travel in my way. He’s still guilt tripping me, isn’t he? I’m gonna feel this guilt until I apologize. I mentally put that on my imaginary checklist.

Ken doll pretends to look hurt as he grabs his left chest. “Ouch! I thought you knew your way around the ladies.”

I’m helping Helen, the stylist, carry the clothes she’s picked out. I’m still eavesdropping on their conversation. Helen apparently doesn’t give a damn.

“This one’s different, Steve,” so Ken doll’s name is Steve. When Bucky faces me this time, he doesn’t look away. I hide as I walk close to Helen who’s now pulled out an empty rack where I am to put all the things she’s chosen for the fitting. This one’s different? He’s probably kidding, I’m not different. He’s just saying that because I’m in the same room. I hate that I don’t even get a chance to date him being his mother’s slave, I mean - assistant and all. And I’ve run out of someone’s apartment before, but all I really wanted was to stay in bed with him this morning, I wished I hadn’t gone up and snooped around his things, but it would’ve only gotten worse from there. And I can think of so many ways how that option could’ve led me to more trouble. I keep an optimistic head and just think about how it’s a good thing I found out who he was before I could even say another word and left when I could. Ugh! I am never drinking again, it was supposed to be a good time, and look where it got me. I’m like a kid who wants a new toy that my mom doesn’t have cash for.

I finish arranging the clothes and Helen interrupts the boys to announce the agenda. She calls Bucky to check the pieces she’s chosen and I leave her to it. I walk to the buffet table where I help myself to some donuts. Thank god, they have food here. I’m looking at all the things served like I’m meeting my new best friends. They always know how to make me feel better.

“Too bad they don’t have alcohol here,” I look to see who it is and its Steve.

“Even if they did, I doubt my liver’s gonna be ready for another round,” I say as I bite into my donut. He flashes his bright white teeth at me as he laughed. For a second there, I thought I needed some sunglasses.

“Name’s Steve, by the way.” He offers his hand for me to shake and I do.

“Y/N,” I blush, he’s cute. He’s like your all-American boy next door that got buff over the summer, he was probably the prom king at his high school. He looks just like a Harvard hottie.

“What’s a beautiful dame doing working for Bucky? There’s got to be a lot of jobs out there better than being stuck with him,” you know it. I blush as I take another bite, hiding my chewing behind my half-eaten donut.

“I actually work for his mom.” I say shyly. Soon not to be! HA! Sooner if she finds out I slept with her son.

“So, babysitting momma’s little boy is on the job description too.” Oh I’ve done way more than babysitting. I raise my eyebrows and let quick laugh out. I can’t wait for this day to be over.

“I guess.”

“Who are you calling momma’s little boy, you punk?”, Bucky jokes around the corner. Steve raises his hands as if in defeat and laughs as he grabs a donut before walking away.

“See you around, Y/N!” he nods his head towards me and gives Bucky a playful salute before approaching another stylist who guides him into next room where they’re doing his fitting.

Well, at least Helen’s here, with nothing else for me left to do, I sit on the red velvet couch and watch her take Bucky’s measurements. The huge window is letting a handful of sunlight in to illuminate him as he stands on the platform with a certain pride. I lick my lip, as my eyes grow wide when I see him looking at me. I blush, I force myself not to, but all of a sudden, I feel the memory of his lips on my neck. I smooth my hands over where his lips have been, I feel a tingling sensation by the hickey he left me. He’s not even touching me and he’s already driving my body insane. He puts on suit after suit and I’m just watching in fascination, it’s ridiculous how I’ve come to meet him. Apart from the unexpected twist of him being my boss’ son, I can’t not think about how lucky I was to have at least spent a night with him.  Helen’s now picking up the outfit they’ve agreed on and is making her way out the room to start the alterations. My head now rests on top of my left palm, my eyes were too fixated on him I didn’t even hear Helen say good bye.

“Like what you see?” Bucky teases as he puts the suit he came here with. I immediately stand up and help him put his jacket on, an instinct I seem to have from doing everything for Winifred.

“As one should,” I say as I fix his collar. I should say it now, so I won’t have to deal with him anymore or my guilt. He looks like he was about to say something but I cut him off, “I uh, I’m sorry about this morning, I shouldn’t have left so soon.”

“I got a little sad waking up next to a bunch of pillows,” his eyes look up from my hands on his collar to meet mine.

“It’s a long story.”

“Well, we can go back to my place and you could tell me all about it“. He, grabs my hand and places as kiss just above the knuckle. I pull away, he’s confused.

“No, you don’t underst-, I mean I can’t. I’m sorry,” I give him a gentle smile. “You were really wonderful, I mean you are wonderful, it’s just that I-“

“Work for my mom.” He finishes the sentence for me.

“Yeah, if she ever finds out, I don’t think it’ll win me another day at the office,” I don’t want to tell him she’ll kill me if she finds out, I don’t think anyone would want to hear their mother being any less than the one woman who cares the most for them. Does he even know Winifred's a bitch? I doubt it.

“I could call her now and tell her about last night’s escapade.” He reaches for his phone in his pocket, my eyes grow wide.

“You wouldn’t do that,” he wouldn’t, right?

“I might even frame the sticky note you left me and place it on her table,” I smile, what a smart ass. “I bet she’ll love it”.

“I just don’t wanna lose my job, Bucky,” I sigh and hope for the best he quits trying, but the back of my mind says otherwise.

“Okay, maybe not at my place. I won’t tell her anything if you let me take you out to lunch, just you, me and good food, what do you say?” he gives me a genuine look, desperation obvious by his expression, I might just have to agree, but I have a plan I’ve invested in, and it’s going to take me places.

“That’s impossible.” I did it, I said it and he’s not gonna bug me ever again. He takes a moment to let my response sink in. He’s rejected, he looks like he’s never heard rejection before. But we’ve only met once, we both knew it’d be a one-time thing, I mean that’s how it should be. I never thought I’d make a vow of chastity, but he’s the forbidden fruit, and I don’t want to break the time and effort I’ve invested working for literal embodiment of the Prada wearing devil that has come to exist in my life.

“Alright, I guess I’ll go call her and tell her about last night then.” He’s now pulled out his phone and turns his back, is he serious?! Holy cow, wait.

“Where?” I hate him, and myself; but I hate him more.

“I’ll tell you on the way,” he turns back to me with a huge grin as he offers his arm for me to take. I take a moment to decide if I should take it, before he continues to say, “My mom doesn’t have eyes in this building, you can hold my arm, doll.” Oh boy I’m in for a disaster.

--

“So, brunch? You, me and some brunch” I say, an eyebrow raised as the waiter puts down two plates in front of us. I shake my head as I bite my lip to suppress a laugh. We’re at one of the local diners in New York serving breakfast 24/7, it was already two in the afternoon.

“Good brunch. I haven’t eaten since waking up, and you’ll be hitting two birds with one stone with this one, since you were such in a hurry to leave me.” I kick him under the table. “Hey! You are a very violent person.”

I laugh, “I am when I have to be. And I already said I’m sorry.”

“I’m just kidding,” he takes a bite out of his waffle. “So, how long have you been working for my mom?”

“About 6 months,” saying it out loud makes me realize how long I’ve put myself in this awful situation. “How about you, how long have you been her son? I haven’t seen you once in the building”

“I’ve been traveling, trying out new things, checking future investments.”

“Hmmm,” I eat, shutting him out and he notices how I’m intentionally trying to be a bad date so he’ll think that I’m boring and drop the pursuit.

“You know, I’ve realized my t-shirt wasn’t on the floor like the rest of my clothes.” I look up surprised.

“I might’ve worn it outside.” I smile a little embarrassed.

“Already developing a habit in wearing my shirts, I see.”

“Hey! I wore it when I woke up to use the bathroom, I wouldn’t wanna be caught in your penthouse naked.”

“Like I haven’t seen you naked,” my cheeks are burning.

“I was planning on going to the kitchen to make some pancakes before finding out you were none other than Winnie’s dearest James,” mimicking Winifred’s voice. He laughs, clearly amused at my humor.

“You were going to make me pancakes?”

“Yeah, I was. I even had plans for round 2 but I guess that’s out of the window,” I bite my lip, that was TMI. His eyes shot up.

He raised his eyebrow in amusement, “Round 2? I knew I should’ve insisted going back to my place!”

I’m now laughing louder than I should. The table beside us where an old man reading the paper gives us a look of judgement.

Minutes pass and he’s leading the conversation, I silently thank him for it. He’s got a great love for the environment, and he’s working hard to help clean oceans, developing new technologies for sustainable housing. He’s been best friends with Steve since he can remember and had each other’s backs through everything. The way he talks about Steve is like he’s talking about his brother, like they’ve been through so much together. I’m in awe at the things he’s telling me, but I bear no intention to think about it too much. One lunch and I’m out of here. The fear of risking my job has put so much weight on my shoulders, that I’m here enjoying his words, being a very good listener. I’m really sad about how I won’t be able to see him anymore. Career has always been a priority and I’m still at rock bottom, if we’d only met in a different time, place or maybe with me being employed somewhere else or him born to a different family, it would’ve been a green light. Winnifred’s powers are limitless, she’s basically the god of misfortune, in my case. I’ve let fear overcome my happiness. We finish eating and he pays for the food and we head out, he tells me he’s got an appointment for one of the campaigns he’s doing and if I’d want to join, I politely decline.

“I have to get back to the building, last time I checked, I worked for Winnifred Barnes, not a James Barnes” I say. He smiles, I’m so close to getting away.

“Okay, let me give you a lift”, he offers.

“It’s okay, I enjoy walking and the office is just six blocks away from here, I don’t mind.”

“It’s on the way, I’ll walk with you.”

“What about Vision?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Very well, just one more walk and I’m out of here. I keep telling myself this, but every time I get so close to making an escape he thinks of something else. I’m secretly enjoying the chase, what does he see in me?

We’re walking on the sidewalk as I try to keep a very friendly distance. He’s one of the most successful men under 30 so he probably has paparazzi hanging around. Explaining to Winnie how we weren’t being driven by Vision will get him and me in trouble.

“How did you end up working as an assistant?” I wish we had at least one conversation that doesn’t revolve around me working for his mother.

“I have no idea, really.” We both laugh at my honesty “I thought it would look good on my resume, working directly under Winifred herself might just give me the boost that I need, and I could finally work for a different company, start write about things that I like, put that degree to good use.”

“What’s so bad about working at the View?” your mom, that’s the only reason I can come up with.

“I don’t want to be stuck fetching coffee, answering phone calls, picking up clothes and managing schedules for somebody that I– “ shoot, what do I say that won’t offend him, “don’t necessarily relate to, I mean the View is a huge fashion powerhouse magazine, and I’m not exactly the type to write about the latest fall trends.” Great save, I pat myself on the shoulder. It’s true, I think. I don’t know if my heart is in the right place if I were to be writing about fashion, I don’t exactly have a target topic to write about but I’m definitely not a sure hit on that area. I like clothes and makeup sure, but there’s more to fashion than just that and I wouldn’t be able to keep up, it’s just not in my field of interest. It’s ironic how I ended up working at the View. A shit ton of women would kill to be working in my place and I’m here complaining about it. I remember the first time I went in, I came to the office not knowing what to expect as I held a manila folder with my resume in it, wearing an olive-green turtle neck sweater and a black leather skirt with some black leather loafers, I felt pretty out of place, everyone was eyeing me like I’m a lost child. I was up against a tall skinny blonde, who looked very much like the part with her seamless attitude and clean look. I was so sure I’d just wasted my time even trying to apply, but the moment Winnifred saw me, she asked my name, looked, more like scrutinized me from the feet up, my hands shaking not even knowing what the View was other than what I thought was just another fashion magazine, and then she told me to start the next day. I couldn’t believe it. From then on, I tried my best to keep up, the first three weeks were the worst, I was pretty much all over the place, Winnie kept nagging at me. It’s like she chose me because she loved how frantic I looked whenever she’d need me to do something. Nat saved my ass. When we met during one of the editorial shoots for the spring issue, we immediately bonded. She helped me through everything and even got me a makeover. I can never thank her enough, her little push helped me get used to the business. She even jokes at how much I dress better than her now, but she just thinks that, she’ll always be the fashionable one.

“How long?” he asks.

“How long, what?”

“How long ‘til I get to date you in public?” I almost trip. This makes me laugh, I hate that he does.

“You’re insane, I’ve got 4 more months to go, and I doubt you’ll be able to control yourself from meeting another woman in a week,” I raise my eyebrow at him, it’s true, with those looks and that personality? It won’t even take him a minute to make a girl start naming her babies with him.

“Talk about trust issues,” he smiles, it’s contagious.

“Just playing it safe”

“Too safe, that’s why you should probably let me kiss you right about now.”        

“What?” we both stop walking.

“We’re two blocks from your office and once we get any closer, I won’t be able to be near you, which to be honest, was all I’ve been thinking about since I saw that love bite on your neck.”

“That is really sexy and weird,” I’m biting my lip trying to resist a laugh.

“You don’t know the half of it”, his eyes now becoming serious as he takes a step closing the space between us. Fuck it, I put my hand on his shoulders and I kiss him. This takes him by surprise, but quickly recovers as he places his hand on the side of my face, the other on my waist. I’m going to need to start looking for a new job tomorrow.

PART 3 | Check my other stuff out too?   M A S T E R L I S T

HMU IF U WANNA GET TAGGED

Permanent taglist!!! @gracielou0518 @memory-of-a-goldfish @thatbitchsaidhi  @xxashy999xx @queenlouisa2001​ @shliic​ @fuckthatfeeling​

Tag list!!! @justmesadgirl @sebbystanlover-vk @ohmygodjungkook @everest98 @thewhinersoldier @projectxhappiness @bookwormandfangirl @mp8130 @vivianbabz @justreadingthesefics @karollbey @janineabad @you-phxria @secretlyaclosetedmuffin @honeyblood-babydoll-cindervox @heathermyroomfriend @procrastinatingvirgo @snuggleducky @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday @blackdaisybitch 

thank you guys for motivating me to write a second part! Hope u guys like it!!!!

[moonraccoon-exe]

Hi moon! I hope I didn't upset you with my long private messange... In case I'm sorry :c Just wanted to wish you happy Halloween (I'm late I know but I've got problems with some bullies on Instagram and I couldn't write you first;;)

MARYSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

Did I spell it right? Omg, I’m sorry if I misspelled!! Have I ever told you that I think you have a BEAUTIFUL name? I think due to your username that you prefer being called Mary, maybe? It’s just that Marysia sounds SO BEAUTIFUL! Marysia. It’s SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PRETTY!! Mary is beautiful, too. Whatever you prefer to be called, please let me know so I can call you that!!

ZOMG MARYSIA, I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU AROUND!!!!!

Don’t worry!! You didn’t upset me, please don’t think that! The problem is tat I have a looooot a lot of private messages, so each day I try to answer many of them but I can’t answer to them all...especially when I think they deserve a long and proper answer, like you!!! I’m so sorry I haven’t replied; I’m trying to catch some time and energy to reply to you properly, and no just leave you with a “Thanks, bye!” because I definitely have so much more to say :)

Thank you SO MUCH for messaging me!!! You never bother me, dear Marysia. Your messages are always so wonderful and, lately, one of my main sources of inspiration. There are days when I don’t write, then one of your messages comes in, and I want to leave everything to a side to go back at writing...

So don’t think that it upset me!! You could NEVER do that! As I’ve told you always, you’re one of my main supports for the fanfic, and you always fill me with so much motivation, I can’t say thanks enough. So no, you didn’t bother me, and you have no reasons to say sorry. Thank you for your BEAUTIFUL message, Mary!! :D

Aaaaaaawwww, and THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Happy Halloween!!! It’s okay if you’re late, don’t worry about that. I hope you had a FANTASTIC night! You’re italian, aren’t you? I think you celebrate(d) on the 1st as well? I hope you had a fantastic night full of beautiful things and yummy food!!! 

But I’m realy concerned now about those bullies. Are you alright? WHO IS IT??! WHO DO I FIGHT!?!?!? HUH?!?!?!!? HUUUUUUUH!?!?!??!

THAT IS SO WRONG!!! WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO BULLY YOU!?!?!? Your cosplays are PHENOMENAL and AMAZING, why would people be mean to you on Instagram!!?!?! ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉﾞ

But seriously, dear Mary...are you okay? I’m so, so profoundly sorry that you’re dealing with bullies. Bullying someone is never okay. Please, take care, dear Mary. Your health comes first and above everything else, so please give priority to it. If things are bad, maybe if can be god to shut your Instagram? I don’t knwo if it’s possible (I don’t have an IG), but maybe you can set it to private? Or closing it and starting with a new name can be good. It may be sad because you’re erasing your whole profile that you’re probably attached to, but if you started under a new name, maybe that can hide you from the bullies...

I don’t know, dear Mary. I’m seriously so, so profoundly sorry that there’s bad people out there telling you bad things. You don’t deserve those words; I want you to remember that you’re a beautiful woman, with marvelous, wonderful skills for cosplay. Looking at your photos is truly a cosplay delight, and you as yourself are gorgeous, not just physically. And you have a very kind and sweet heart. Whatever those bullies are saying, they’re lying.

Remember most times, bullies are just jealous because you are what they wish they could be; good, beautiful, happy. I know I can’t ask you to ignore them, but if their words get to you, try to remember that they can’t compare to what you truly are. You are fantastic, amazing, beautiful, and an incredible person that would never go as low as to say something mean to someone else, like they do.

Don’t believe them, Marysia, dear. You’re a queen and queens don’t give a damn when a dirty thief tells her she’s ugly; you’re on a whole higher and prettier level to care, darling. 

If I can help you with anything, please don’t hesitate to ask me. I’m here for you, okay? I’m sorry those bullies are bothering you. Please, do what you must to be safe, my friend. I’m going to be thinking about you for the next days, radiating raccoonie magical vibes, hoping and wishing for the problem witht he bullies to get better soon!!!!

I truly wish you wholeheartedly that it gets better. I worry about you and I care. I’ll focus extra hard on my magic for it to help you with this ugly situation. 

Again, if you ever need anything, please tell me how I can help! And I have my whole army of raccoobos to help if required!

You’re probably asleep by now, but I hope you can see my answer soon! Please take care, dear Mary. I’ll be working on the fanfic thinking of you, I promise.

Sending you warm hugs, and all that magic to help you. I hope your problem is fixed soon, I really do!!!

Thank you again, and take care. (ɔˆ⌣(ˆ⌣ˆc)♡

[dramarising-replacement]

I hope I’m logged into my tumblr account correctly. ‘Off anon’ for this because I don’t see a need to be anon. I’ve also been given the green light by head mod of the thread to post this. (The thread is not all that dramatic. Just a handful [I think only three so far, actually] are acting up and making this way worse than it is. This post is about one user.)

We’ve seen scammer IA floating around the 100k Give and Get thread, right? Well, here are all the screenshots. For your viewing pleasure.

It all starts when they hit up the thread asking if players would take x item that is not on their wishlist. You only have to go to the thread and put in their username and set it to most recent - it’s their first two posts there. (Topic ID# = 2263319, if you’re having trouble finding the thread. I’m assuming this is okay since it’s just a thread, not a post link, dramaadmin/dadmin!)

Anyways. They claim two users within hours, seen here.

These two posts are still visible in the thread, by the way. No editing to state that they’ve sent any gifts at all, too, which is a rule of the thread. Obviously, I’m a mod of the thread, so I respond to one of the two users that IA claimed that requested assistance with this issue. They say that IA never sent them anything, so I go and send a PM to IA to try and work out the issue. (I had also asked them about their raffle a month or two ago just to see the response, so that’s where the part where I mentioned their raffle came from. It was more of a jab at their current 'scam’.)

It was really long, I know, but I didn’t think I’d get a response like this:

Umm? That answered … nothing? I PM them back to reclarify. The two blocked out usernames are of course the people they apparently didn’t send anything to.

And guess what I get as a response? An 'oblivious’ excuse.

This is no excuse. I clearly told them that below:

I get no response whatsoever, and I check the next day and IA has all dragons fed and is clearly active in the forums. They are obviously ignoring me and being a jerk about it. The two users don’t get their gifts either; if you find 'SP’, you can see a message exchange between IA and them. SP is pretty chill - they just brushed the issue off and basically said, “Hey, just don’t do it to anyone else. You can just pay me whatever’s left to make up for it and we’re cool. That way the mods won’t be on you so much anymore.” IA thinks they can get away with it. They said: “Oh, well, I’m talking to one of the mods about just claiming another user later.” What. The. Heck. So first you don’t even try to make up your gifts to those two players, but you try to scam another one? Lowball move, IA.

The user that asked for assistance in the first place sent me a screenshot of the gifts that IA sent them before the 24-hour deadline to send gifts rule was broken, but the items were all junk, under 20kt each, and they didn’t even add up to 100kt. I send them a PM about this with a deal to resolve the issue as soon as possible.

They don’t reply to this either. Despite being active. I get thoroughly sick of this and confront them publicly on their user profile about claiming another player and not responding to me. I wasn’t able to get a screenshot of the confronting message I sent them, because IA deleted it, but this is a paraphrase: “You know, claiming another user doesn’t erase the fact that you undergifted two users. Just send a proper gift to the two undergifted users before claiming another one and there won’t be any problems.” You know, logic. Well, IA seems to have a huge problem with that.

Just because you claim to have 'paid’ well over 100kt doesn’t mean it’s worth that much, because both I and the undergifted user checked the LAH prices and they sure didn’t slip that far as to have been totaling a 40g difference in the few hours between the send time and the check time. I am just really sick and tired and at the end of my string with IA’s antics right now, so I respond. Please note that the bottom two messages (the first two that I sent) are now gone, and possibly the third one too, because IA’s trying to cover their tracks.

IA’s trying to act smart and is still not providing any screenshots.

Pfft. Way to check before you start talking.

At this point, IA is probably just really mad that they got caught, so they just shut up and do a self-ban from the thread (hallelujah!):

(They got a quirk from having trouble with the ’t’ and 'y’ keys on their keyboard, apparently, so that’s why they use + just in case you were wondering.) It still doesn’t fix the undergifting problem.

IA’s pretty ticked, so their last word on the thread is still here:

Yes, they spelled aggressive wrong. I don’t hear from them again. But the mod that they had contacted to try and claim another user to fix their 'mistake’ replied with a negative because that’s obviously not how it works.

This is the part where they take a hint. Well, we all know that IA isn’t going to do what they should.

We’re all relieved that you’re gone, but … the issue is not fixed.

Once again, IA proves that they’re a whiny, scammy baby.

They’re banned from the thread, so you shouldn’t see them anymore. Thanks for reading on .

[hinatasharem]

you can't befriend strangers on snapchat

For kenhina week day 2: mixup/mistake

When Hinata sends Yachi a snapchat friend request that accidentally goes to a stranger in Tokyo (because for some god forsaken reason, they both used the roman alphabet), a friendship blossoms between the two. And Hinata does NOT have a crush on Kenma, despite what Stingyshima may think.

Read on AO3

Hinata tilts his head, biting his lip and turning his phone around in his hands. Tsukishima rests his chin in his palm, his brow furrowed as he watches Hinata mess with his phone.

After another three minutes, Tsukishima can’t take it. “What are you doing?”

“Snapchat,” Hinata answers.

"You know you take pictures with it, right?”

“Shut up Stingyshima,” he snaps, setting the phone down in a huff. Kageyama and Yamaguchi look up from their conversation. Hinata grabs a handful of the communal fry mountain and basically swallows it whole. “I sent a friend request to Yachi but she hasn’t accepted yet.”

Kageyama, who struggles to understand the logistics of a smartphone, says, “Did you spell the username right?” Tsukishima commends Kageyama for his basic knowledge of technology and Kageyama flicks a fry in his face.

Hinata pouts. “I think I did but she used the roman alphabet and Yachiii I’m not good with English!” His friends aren’t sure who he’s complaining too.

Yamaguchi pulls out his phone. “Here, Hinata, check Yachi’s username.” He hands Hinata the phone. Hinata flicks through Yamaguchi’s snapchat contacts, muttering that Yamaguchi has too many friends and finds Yachi’s name at the bottom. He holds down on her name and the little box pops up.

Applepie

He pales and quickly checks his phone. “Oh no no no no no no no! I sent a snapchat to a-p-p-l-e-p-i instead of a-p-p-l-e-p-i-e!”

“Didn’t he just spell the same thing?” Kageyama whispers to Yamaguchi who laughs – Kageyama might just be worse than Hinata at English.

“Send one to Yachi and stop complaining, maybe you’ll make a friend,” Tsukishima snips and slaps Hinata’s hand away from the fries.

Hinata sighs, quickly sending one to Yachi and waits to see if the first applepi will answer him. He doesn’t find out until he gets home later that evening.

After his shower, he’s sitting against the couch in shorts and a t-shirt, basking in the cool of the floor fan and one of the popsicles his mom bought that morning. Natsu’s watching an anime, laying on the couch behind him. He’s texting Kageyama about the training regime for the first years when a notification from applepi pops up.

He almost drops his phone. Switching to snapchat, he opens the snap from applepi. It’s a black screen captioned: I think you have the wrong person.

Hinata, without thinking, sends back a selfie captioned: haha sorry! It was an accident!

He doesn’t really expect a reply, he doesn’t even think anything about what he sent applepi but a few minutes later, he gets another snap. He opens it, inhales sharply and chokes on his popsicle. Damn, he’s hot. Hinata is surrounded by good-looking guys all the time (bless volleyball club) but applepi is gorgeous. (He’d long since grown out of his crushes on Kageyama and Tsukishima.) His blonde hair is pulled into a messy ponytail and there’s an awkward smile on his face that he sort of hides with a PSP.

it’s fine

That’s all the message says but suddenly, Hinata feels rejuvenated. Maybe he shouldn’t be making friends on snapchat with a stranger but he doesn’t care. Hinata likes making friends and applepi seems like a cool guy. They talk a little bit longer, Hinata learns his name is Kenma and he lives in Tokyo (SKYTREE?!?!?!) before Kenma disappears to play games.

"Your smile is creepy, onii-chan,” Natsu says, poking Hinata’s cheek.

“Natsuuu~!” he whines and whips around to tickle her.

“You actually made friends with applepi last night?” Tsukishima asks, in only a way Tsukishima could that infuriates Hinata.

“You’re just jealous I can make friends,” Hinata retorts, quickly sending a snap to Kenma about Stingyshima and his stingy-ness. Kenma sends back ‘lol’. Hinata snaps back a selfie with a smiley face.

Tsukishima flicks Hinata in the forehead. Hinata hisses at him. “Yikes,” Tsukishima says, pushing Hinata towards the gym for practice.

To say Hinata was distracted during practice was an understatement. He got tangled in the net – twice – and served the ball into the back of not only Tsukishima’s head, but Kageyama, Yamaguchi and Yachi as well. Kageyama only had so much patience for the distracted red-head and Tsukishima didn’t appreciate the bump forming on the back of his head.

“Hinata-kun, is something bothering you today?” Yachi asks, nursing her head with an ice-pack.

The story about applepi and Kenma spills out and Yachi laughs. She leans in closer to whisper, “Do you have a crush?”

Hinata snorts but he still blushes. “Yachi! I just met Kenma!”

She elbows him, waggling her eyebrows. “But you said he was the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen!”

“Shshshshshshshhhhhh!” Hinata claps his hand over Yachi’s mouth, flushing bright red. She laughs. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he pries his hand off Yachi’s mouth to check it. Kenma.

Yachi leans over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of this Kenma. Kenma’s sitting in the university library, bags under his eyes, headphones on and is resting on a huge stack of textbooks. Yachi hums appreciatively.

“He is pretty but are you sure he’s the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen?” She’s teasing him.

“Ack, yes,” Hinata says, angling his phone just right to get a moderately attractive selfie. “But we’re just friends,” he reiterates.

He’s serious, since he’s never even met Kenma. He only knows what he looks like and the few details he’s provided is all he knows about him. But he thinks Kenma is cool and wants to get to know him.

Over the course of the next few months, they snapchat more frequently. They’ve even exchanged phone numbers to carry out two different conversations at the same time over text and snapchat. Hinata suggested Skype a few weeks ago when texting and snapchatting wasn’t enough and they have skype calls regularly. Tsukishima thinks they’re dating.

The team is chilling outside Ukai’s, snacking on meat buns they tricked Kageyama into buying. Kurata, a first year almost as tall as Tsukishima has his fellow first year Yoshino in a headlock. Ukai is hollering for them to knock it off but they ignore him. There’s a half-eaten curry bun on his knee and he’s clicking through the 100-second-long snap from Kenma.

Kenma’s best friend Kuroo is hosting a huge party and as his roommate, Kenma is suffering through it in the corner with noise-cancelling headphones. There’s strobe lights, bottles of alcohol almost the size of Kenma (he took a photo to prove it) and the last thirty seconds consisted of Kuroo doing Jell-O shots off their friend Bokuto’s stomach.

Hinata laughs and sends Kenma a myriad of photos offering his greatest sympathies. Kenma sends back a low-angled selfie captioned suffering.

“You’re sure about going to Tokyo? Alone?” Tsukishima asks, watching Hinata dig through his bag to find his misplaced phone.

“Yes mom,” Hinata says, rolling his eyes, “seriously though, I didn’t know you cared that much.”

Yachi intervenes, “We just want you to be safe, Hinata-kun.”

“We can’t lose our Ace,” Kageyama adds and Yamaguchi pinches him. Hinata stands up, straps his bag to his back and shrugs.

“I’ll be fine, guys. I’m keeping contact with Kenma the whole time and he’ll be at the station to pick me up,” Hinata says for what feels like the fifteenth time. The train will be arriving any minute. “Okay, goodbye to all my irritating parents, I love you all – I’ll text Yachi to keep you guys updated.”

He waves and hurries off to the train that just pulled up. The moment he sits down he starts texting Kenma. He’s bouncing in his seat. He’s been wanting to meet Kenma so bad and when Kenma offered his couch, Hinata jumped on the first opportunity he could to get to Tokyo. He could only go for a weekend but he didn’t care so long as he could meet Kenma.

Two and a half hours seemed to stretch longer the closer he got to Tokyo. Kenma sends him a snap of him at the platform Hinata would get off at and Hinata’s heart jumps into his throat. He’s so close. The woman next to him gives him a strange look when Hinata practically starts to vibrate.

He’s out of his seat the moment the train starts to pull into the station, hurrying to the doors. Hinata catches a glimpse of Kenma’s signature pudding hair and his heart squeezes. He’s knows how much Kenma hates crowds but he’s here.

When the train stops, Hinata flies towards the blip of blonde hair he’d seen and suddenly, his world flips its axis. Seeing Kenma in person is so much different than over snapchat or Skype but somehow, he’s even more gorgeous. Hinata doesn’t know what to do with his hands.

Kenma pulls his mask down, a smile he reserves strictly for Hinata on his mouth, and Hinata knows exactly what to do with his hands. He throws himself into Kenma’s arms.

“It’s good to finally meet you, Shouyo,” he mutters in Hinata’s ear and returns Hinata’s hug. His voice is even nicer in person.

His voice is stuck for a moment but he manages a soft, “You’re more amazing in person, Kenma.” He smells exactly like what Hinata imagined, his hugs are just as good as he thought.

Kenma’s laugh lights a fire in Hinata’s belly. “You’re pretty amazing too, Shouyo.” The hug ended much sooner than Hinata would have liked. When they smile at each other, the world recalibrates and everything is amazing, wonderful, perfect. All thanks to a stupid spelling error.

It’s safe to assume they started dating after that.

[sanguinesprout]

Some progress? Hurrah! (Updates, tiny triumphs and more re-motivating)

Ooookay... yeah, I’ve been kinda putting off posting until I really had something substantial to write about (and in turn forgot a whole load of stuff, gdi man). I really need to remember to at least note things down in the drafts on my phone, that would be good, but I hardly ever use the app so I forget about it lol. Anyways, hah! It’s not been a month since the last post...yet... I think one post per month is do-able for me... but I won’t promise myself this because I do get preoccupied and don’t wanna pressure myself too much, just a loose goal will do.

The main main thing that was making me holding off making a post was because I wanted to have done some of the things I wrote about in my last post first (which I haven’t re-read). Things like fixing my CV, looking for jobs and applying to them. Hm... and well, I did it! Kinda! (With a some help and encouragement from my sis ^^) I altered my CV a smidgen until even I was satisfied with it, did look for jobs multiple times and I did manage to apply to one! (One is really less and there’s no guarantee I’ll be successful of course, but I just wanted to see how it goes as it is definitely my first option out of the few jobs I found suitable. Dippin’ my toe in the water as always *sigh* but it’s a start!)

Applying was pretty straight forward, an online form with basic personal details and some questions like ‘why do you want to work for us?’, ‘give an example of a time you gave great customer service’. I feel like I wrote some pretty good stuff... I hope... Even though it was only a few sentences lol. It was kind of difficult but kind of not... I think it’s maybe because when you really want the job and are passionate about it, the words kind of come more freely. C’mon I gotta keep believing in myself, I can do this! There is hope for me after all! For everyone out there too! :D 

I really should apply to the whole bunch of the jobs I bookmarked but I’m still too nervous... x^x I think some of them have already been taken down/filled already because I dawdled too long too. I have up to 4 weeks to wait for a reply (or be ignored) by the place I applied to. Then if I do happen to be selected as a candidate, there’s an interview and a group practical with the other candidates... to help whittle it down ahhhh... I’ll save the worrying about this for later if I even am able to get to that point at all... @A@ 

The place I applied to is a place I’m quite familiar with that I really enjoy and my sis already works there (but is thinking of maybe leaving sometime soon for a higher paying job) so she has told me lots about it already and would be able to advise me on a lot of stuff. So... I kind of have an advantage here but uh, putting all my eggs in one basket again... I need to get out of my comfort zone even more than this, but at least I did something! 

If I don’t get selected for interview I’d be real sad because I am truly very passionate about this place and their products, I feel it would be a great chance for me to grow. I went all out filling the application form thing with this cheesiness ah orz. I feel I have a lot of relevant skills and knowledge and bits of experience, but they might prefer people with a lot more real experience and status(?). It’s a retail job, the placement is for a part timer, minimal hours, but I feel this would be the perfect starting point for me ;w;

If I don’t get it then oh well, at least I tried and maybe I’ll find something even more awesome. There’ll always be another path I can take, nothing is ever set in stone. To be able to support myself and my parents in future I need to make money, there is no other way. Besides being too dependent I also can’t keep hiding away, it’s no way to live, I can do a lot more than I think I can, Imma go for it, be a better me, be the real me! ^^

Besides the job app stuff I also made some phone calls for things that I normally try to avoid and continued doing some more phone orders for my parents and they went fine! I also went shopping and eating with my sis some more to even further and super busy places, even with a friend of hers there and have been feeling well, not as anxious as I thought I’d get (except for certain small situations), and felt like I was actually being more myself for once, which was great! I interacted with shop people on my own accord too which was good!

As well as the anxiety, I still get spells of feeling really ill and restricted (thanks to my physical problems) that I can’t control but if I tell myself I’ll be fine, I’m stronger than I think and I’ll get through them then well, I persevere and get through them! I gotta toughen up! Hoo! There’s so many people that have it a million times worse than me but they still try, they can still smile and do all the things they set their mind to, they’re so very inspiring and wonderful. A lot of the time when I want to avoid, I get caught up in the fear from all the ‘what if’s’ but I just need to ignore them and just actually go and do whatever it is I’m fretting over then I’ll prove myself wrong. If you don’t try you won’t know, nothing ventured nothing gained!

I’ve kinda shied away from doing stuff online that’s direct, like commenting on stuff which is really... idk I keep overthinking and feeling paranoid about it and it’s really really stupid! :c I also spent a long time debating my usernames and blog purposes again but I’ve got them figured out now... I think... I have to remind myself though that there’s no right or wrong way to do things like this, I should just do what I want and feel, whatever I’m happy with is fine, it doesn’t matter what other people think! Just do it!

I really want to be able to open up more and be myself, talking is difficult especially when it comes to feelings... I don’t want to feel so ashamed, but it’s too deeply ingrained in me to just want to keep hiding everything. I need to break out of this habit and learn to be proud of myself instead. Baby steps! All will be fine! 

I had a lot of times of feeling really down, getting lost in all these self-loathing thoughts again lately, but I’m starting to feel a lot more pumped and hopeful just from trying a little harder and doing a little of what I’ve been scared to do. I am worthy, I am capable, I am here because I deserve to be. Things will be okay as long as I keep my head up and keep pushing myself forwards!

Believe in yourself and persevere! Fight for happiness!

Have a great evening! :D