#ik we see his face when hes dead and put up as a memorial but thats so washed in blue/white light I cant tell anything apart

[fatewritteninink]

“And that was enough.”

I HAD to add color to this still from the cutscene, it was simply too soft not to. (Original below the cut!)

[idle-compy]

*JWCT SPOILERS BELOW*

extremely messy live reaction

watched ep 1 from the roblox thing and didn't live react so

ep 2:

BEN GET UR EYES ON THE ROAD

ben eating out of a boot what is wrong with him

this whole van scene is fucking hilarious

BEN BROOKLYNN MEMORIES?? ON A ROOFTOP???

gonna make me cry on ep 2 I see how it is

darius just being overall disgusted with bens lifestyle I'm drying

"benjamin if you don't pull over I'm jumping out of your moving van is that what you want"

"is your friend ok?" "no 🙂"

USING THEY THEM PRONOUNS AS A DEFAULT HELL YEAH

ben has brown eyes at 17 mins

the roadtrip vibes are immaculate once u get past all the conspiracy stuff

why are these 2 licorice fanatics I hate them sm (affectionate)

ep 3:

"that is not at all what Hay smells like. have you never been around Hay before?" I'm obsessed with the dialogue

SAMMY HAVING AN ESTRANGED RELATIONSHIP WITH HER PARWNTS HUH????

"why are we running? we do not have a good track record with running!"

BUMPY CHASIMG BUTTERFLIES MY BABYGITL

she still picks him up 😭😭

mantah corp island investigation hmmm..

"that destructive carnivore" DONT SPEAK ABOUT MY DAIGHTER LIKE THAT

ANOTHER BROOKLYNN MEMORY KILL ME NOW

is that the fuckimg pink jakcet

sammy holding thr box with no effort anf bens big ass almost dropping it

why is so much happening in Sammy's life I wanna give her a hug

"he's getting more than a mud pie! he's getting a knuckle sandwich!" "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

OH SHIT CARLS DEAD

now sammy has blue eyes wtf

damn that atrocitaptor really hates pies

SAMMY RUN GIRL

bumpy basically telling ben to leave omfg 💔

do his eyes ever stay on thr road

the hug 😭😭

THE BROOKLYNN CONSPIRACY BEGINS

MYSTERY WHISTLE PERSPN

Ep 4:

this eps called "brothers" time to cry

darius mocking ben I love him

"she's fine 😌" "I'm not fine!"

ben calling bumpy a "strokg independent woman" " strange thing to say but ok"

TWO BENJAMIMS??

BEN HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

fuxk this

"she lives in.. europe?" he met her on that fucking conspiracy site didn't he

THE ALLOSAURUS

ben u eat food out of a boot u cannot talk ab kenjis place like that

"were not exactly on speaking terms" WHEN ARE YOU EVER

did kenji fucking shrink why does he seem so small

HE SHUT THE DOOR ON DAROUS STOP

THE STICKERS 😭😭

"this is. really something kenj!"

THE FANILY PHOTO IM GONNA SOBBBB

oh good lord the tension

"that's where my dad lives" OH FUCK

"I think we should split up" "you and yaz?!" TJE DISTRESS IN HIS FACE

his hand on his heart for the rest of the conversation he would've been more hurt by a breakup then they wouldve omfg

sammy tickle attacking ben THE FACT THAT SHE KNEW IT WOUD WORK

kenji masterfully climbing while darius is fighting for his life trying to put the gear on

WHY ARE THEY FIGHTIJG ON A MOUTNAIN SIDE

KENJI DUMPED BROOKLYNN?? OMG??

ANOTHER MEMORY

"I can't be with you anymore if you're not going to be with me" 😭😭😭

OH HES CRYING

ope kenj I saw that smile

KENJI AGREED TO SEE HIS DAD THE ANGSSTSTTSTSTST

NOOO THEY GOT BUMPY

ep 5:

WHY IS SO KUCH HAPPENING AROUMD THIS SANDWICH

WHY IS IT EVEN IN THE ROAD LIKE THAT

"that bush looks like ben" what does that even mean darius

KENJI CALLIMG DARIUS' MOM EVERY WEEK HE LOVES HER SM

I love this relationship ben and sammy have they're acting sm like siblings

ANOTHER BENJAMIN

HE STILL EATS CAROB

ben and sammy being dino activists ik that's rihht

mr king dino they could beat ur ass

FUCK YOU DANIEL STOP LOOKIMG HAPPY

THIS MAN TRYING TO LOOK GUILTY STFU

"did you have brooklynn killed?" straight to the point ok

"worried what?? that I'd double cross ya??" WHAT WAS ON THAT STICKY NOTE

BEN PUTTING SAMMY AS A SUSPECT?? ID BE PISSED TOO

he can't say the right thing to save his life

DANIEL TEYING TO KEEP SECRETS I VATE HIM

"just never had a father around to practice with" YEAH YOU GET HIM KENJI

NAH WHATS HE GOT PLANNED

"yeah ok I'll get my violin" kenji ily

NAH DANIELS STILL A SNAKE DONT TRUST HIM KENJI

sammy and ben causing mass destruction without meaning too hold habits die hard ig

YEAH SAMMY BEAT THAT MAN

bens list of loyal and amazing friends:

1) bumpy

2) corndogs

3) his van

DINO KING IS SUSPICIOUS?????

4) sammy

"he's just so!" "graah?" "yes! yes! exactly"

THE BROTHERS ARE COMMUNICSTIJG YEAAAHH

oh God I hope kenji has a backstabbing plan with this agreement

"I won't let you control me anymore" YEAH KENJI WALK AWAY

NUH UH YOU DO NOT GET TO LOOK SAD DANIEL YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF

"there was something about her that was different. almost dangerous" I am taking everything be says with a grain of salt but things are getting so suspicious??

OH SHIT ANOTHER DEAD GUY

LET 👏 HIM 👏 DIE 👏

THE WHISTLE AGAIN

what in the goddamn green earth is that woman

daniel u may have saved kenji but I still don't like u

THEY KILLED DANIEL WE ALL CHEERED

she seems so robotic I'm terrified

now who is this

not him speaking Japanese 😭 he needs a hug so bad

ep 6:

YAZ I MISSED YOU

her ptsd is hurting her so much omfg

ANOTHER BROOKLYNN MEMORY

moment of respect for the outfit changes in the memories

brooklynn got yaz into dino immersion therapy 😭

these memories are killing me man am I allowed to stop cryjng

SAMMYS CONTACT PHOTO 🫶🫶

BEN LIKES ROCK MUSIC CALLED IT

WHATS HE DOIN THE BG

"we haven't really talked much lately" does ANYONR have a good relationship in this show

"It'll be good for you two to reconnect"

"yeah.. I hope so" IT WILL BE SAMMY IT HAS TO BE

the gfs are still healthy all it good all it well in the world

"no dinosaurs?" "judging by the look of that thing I'd say we have one now"

oh sammy really is treating her like a fragile flower

I already watched this scene in the released clip but bens scream is somehow even more funny

ben still callimg her fadoula I love their relationship

THE GIRLF ARE FIGHTIJG NO

"girlfriend?" "why does everyone act so surprised when insay that" bc u are gay

I feel so bad for all these people like imagine dinos get into the place ur promised they won't be

OH THAT AINT DPW OH SHIT OH FUCK

IVE BEEN WANTING TO SEE THE AFTERMATH OF THE VAN GOING OFF THE BRIDGE YEAH

off topic but I am obsessed with the end credit cards

ep 7

the ep is called "that night" I am in fear

oh that's the moment sammy saw how much yaz has grown calling it now

I feel so bad for kenji rn hes in so much pain :((

he's probably so conflicted rn. daniel only ever hurt him but he's all kenji knows as his dad

THE HUG THE HUG THE HUGGGGG

"I'd be dead if it wasn't for her!" what do you know mateo WHAT DO YOU KNOW

"it was there on purpose" AAAAAAHHHH I mean we knew but AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

HEY DONT DO THE HOPELESS MHSIC WHILE THEYRE TRAPPEDBIN THE VAN I DONT LIKE WHAT IT INDICATES

"I can't have the last thing I see be bens soggy van!"

YEE HAW THEY GOT OUT

MATEOS STORY WOO HOO TIME TO GET SOME GAPS FILLED IN AND SOME ANDWERS QUESTIONED

oh shoot did he accidentally help the bad guys

now why would he get out ofbthe truck in such suspicious circumstances

WE HAD TO SEE HER DIE FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

OH HE TOOK THE PHONE

THEY SWITCHED SCENES BEFORE WE COULD SEEBWHAT WAS ON THE PHONE AVAAAHAHAH

oh wow the wet hair animation is so much better omg

GIRLCEIEND MOMENT GIRLFRIEND MOMENT

"I guess we need each other huh" *makes out*

them having their moment while bens grieving his baby

"ciao cara mia" I hate him

BROOK HAD A SECRET HOUSE

kenjis night just keeps getting worse

bros been DYING to throw those phones

"oh I am so gonna haunt them from beyond the grave" never change yaz

where on earth are they gonna hide on that truck

mateo seemed like a decent guy hope all goes well for him

her apartment was cute asf ok brooklynn

DID YALL SEE THE MOTORCYCLE HELMETS ?????????????? YEAH BROOK U WERE THAT GIRL

kenji stop reminiscing ur gonna make me cry

THE BROS ARE BONDING THEYRE GETTING ALOMG

KENJI WHAT DO U SEE

darius putting all the pieces together is so rad bc I sure am not

A SUSPICIOUS BAG OF MONEY???? IN HER CLOSET??? BFOOK GIRL WHAT WERE U A PART OF

SHE WAS WPRKING WITH DANUEL SHE WAS WHAT WHAJAJDHSLAJHFJSLAJD

I hope she was doing it for an investigative purpose SHE BETTER HAVE BEEN

but why didn't Daniel bring it up HMmmmmm...

"or what else she was hiding from us" OH HES HURT HURT

darius driving the motorcycle instead of kenji I'm cackling

ep 8:

THEY HID WITH THE SEDATWD DINO ARE THEY INSANE

not the dino smacking rhe lips it doesn't have

now why is she gonna stand on the dino instead of getting bens giant self to look out the gap

the drop is gonna be how they reunite isn't it

kenji screaming bc of a spider he's so real

THEYRE BEINF BROTJERS YEAH WERE SO BACK BABY

oh so they're working for extra cash too hmm

oh this place actually looks nice

VIDEO MEMORIES IM GONNA SOB

I am sufficiently uncomfortable thanks for asking darius

the boys are fighting again JUST VET ALOMG PLEASE

darius misses her so much seeing a bird made him think of her 😭😭

lookimg at the dates on the voicemails it's been at least 3 months since she died

DARIUS IN BATHTUB I laughed this is supposed to be sad and I laughed

I sense something big coming I gotta walk around for a bit

"I was in love with brooklynn" OH FUCK OH SHITNOH AJAHDKLAQKHFLAKHFKLAL

now I REALLY have to walk around for bc WHAT

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WJAT WJATBQKHRLAJFLAHSLALKFHAL AAAAHAAHAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

rewatched the scene and I am no more sane ab it

BEN THIEVING ABILITIES MAKING A COMEBACN HELL YEAH

NAH WHATD THEY DOBTO BUMPY THEY BETTER NOT HURT MY GIRL

"boo." Yaz ily

THE VIDEO THE VUDEO AAAAAAAAAAAA

"were brothers righr?" HE SAID IT HE SAID IT WE WIN

every single moment with these 2 is so painful how am I supposed to exist in these conditons

WHAT DID THEY DO TO BUMPY WHAT DID THEY DO TO HER

THE GFS SAY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️❤️

THE DINOS JUST CHILLING INSTEAD OF STAMPEDING

YES QUEEN DINO U KILL THE MAN THAT TORTURED YOU

love the steggos just watching everything

yaz was smart with the lights u go girl

my heart is genuinely pounding for bumpy I am too attached to this fictional dinosaur

avocado costume?????? girls be fr

KENJI AND DARIUS ARE HERE TOO??

DARIUS IS GONNA FREE THAT BABY I KNOW HE IS

I hope the sino causes chaos later

"with me by your side, you kon climb anything too"

YEAH THE SINOS CAUSING CHAOS WOO HOO

"bumpy.. are you dying?" NUH UH BEN DONT SAY THAT NOPE

ALL THE CRYING SCENES THEY GOTTA STOP

kenji doing everything with graceful agility vs darius and his childlike experience

sammy kicking kenji TWICE now

TWO HUGS?? IN A ROW?? IM FED

the hugs are so much more natural in this series the animation improvement is insane

"creepy micro bangs'" that is a fantastic description kenji

THE ALLOSAURUS AGAIN

sammy being bumpys other parent 🫶

istg I'm already cryjng

if they kill bumpy idk what'll happen

bumpy is genuinely a part of their family they are completely falling apart rn

"move her tail!" IS SHE ABOUT TO LAY AN EHG

BUMPYS A MOM????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!???@?!?!?!?!?!?!??

them passing the egg around like a baby in a hospital such a proud family

"wait what?" "don't think about it bud"

"ben! you're gonna be a grandpa!" glad they also see her as his daughter

NAH THE GUY I FORG9T THE NAME OFNIS EVIL

ep 10:

LAST EPUSOXE ALREADY??????

cabrera thats his name

YEAH SAMMY BEAT HIS ASS U GO GIRL

NAH FREAKY BOB LADYS BACK

she is genuinely somebhorror movie shitnor something

that scene was genuinely so intense I completely froze

EHOS DRIVING THE TRUCK

MATEO MY MAN I KNEW YOUNWERE GOOD

THE DINOSBARE GOING FREE BEAUTIFUL GEORGOUS THROWUNG BOUQUETS

obsessed with the shot of the t Rex in front ofbthe explosion hell yeag

"leave my girl alone!" SCREAM IT YAZ

DARIUS FREEING THE ALLOSAURUS I SMELL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

WAS THAT BUMPYS EGG IN THAT CASE

about time this man died

creepy lady is actually super pretty I hate that she's evil and kinda insane

darius finally stopped blaming himself 😭

"my guy. you're still here?" "unfortunately yeah. you all get real vulnerable with each other. it's weird" I'm dying

FUCK DUXK A AKHDLAKWYAPAHHFLAHWLAK

BROOKLYNNNANNAMANANNN

OH MY GODBOHNMYNGOD SHES SYDNEY GUYS SHE FUCKIMG SYDNEY ITS FUCKIKG BROOKLYNN AKSHALAKQLLQKDJALJFL

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJKALAFJAJ

[weirdestbooks]

Nieuw York (Wattpad | Ao3)

Underline is English, Bold is Italian, and Italics is Swedish

1900

A new century was always the perfect time to start working on a new house.

New York was with a group of people he had employed to help him dig out the foundation of his house and build it. While New York had always enjoyed being able to construct his home on his own, but new technological advancements and his lack of understanding of them made it harder to do that. 

At least New York was still keeping his old house in Albany. An electricity-free house that actually makes sense to him would probably be much better than this house outside of New York City. Still, the city never seemed to stop growing, so it was essential to have a place nearby. If anything, it would give his pap a place to stay when he’s in town like he is now.

“Mister New York! My brother found a dead body! He says it looks like it has recently passed. What should we do?” One of the workers called from the other side of the construction site, panic in his voice.

“What?” New York exclaimed, dropping what was in his hands and rushing to the worker. The worker was now comforting his brother, who looked horrified at what he had seen.

“Are you alright?” New York asked the brother, who shook his head. New York turned to face the man who had called him over.

“You two go home. Get some rest. I'm sorry you had to discover this. Rest assured, I will make sure you get into no legal trouble for this. This was not your fault,” New York told them. The man nodded and left, with his brother leaning on him.

New York then peaked into the hole they had been digging and immediately spotted the body. New York knew from the skin colors that it was one of them. A countryhuman that had their life taken from them and wasn’t buried with respect. New York swore. This just got a lot more complicated. His father would have to be notified, and they would have to hope that they could identify the body in case any relatives wanted to claim it. 

New York then approached the workers, standing around with hesitation and fear.

“It’s one of us. I know we were supposed to work on the foundation, but I think we should hold off on that until we can move the body and give them a funeral. I’ll still pay you for today’s work. Enjoy a day off, and thank you for all your help,” New York told the workers. 

“Grazie New York.” Their supervisor said before they began to pack up their equipment.

“And can one of you go to City Hall? My father is there with the mayor and needs to be notified of this.”  New York asked.

“I can do that for you, New York. I have to go by there anyways.” One of the workers said. New York gave him a grateful smile before helping them back up the rest of their things.

New York walked back over to the hole where the half-buried body was. The body was female, with orange, white, and blue skin. Thankfully, The clothes were not fully composed, and a covering remained over her body. She was lying face down, and a wound was visible on her back. Something about her seemed…familiar…like it was scratching at a long-forgotten itch in New York’s brain.

Before he really knew what he was doing, he had walked down to her body. She looked…she looked so much like a recently deceased body. It was strange to think she had been here for at least a hundred years. New York put a hand on her shoulder, her body deathly cold. He slowly turned her face upwards so he could look at it and froze before falling backward in shock.

It was New Netherlands. Him. Past him. 

As soon as he saw that face, he could feel her memories forcing their way up, pressing against his head and causing a pounding in his skull.

“Nee nee nee! Mam, ik ben jou niet, je stierf, ik zie je lichaam, laat me alsjeblieft met rust!” (No no no! Mom, I’m not you, you died, I see your body, please leave me be!) New York said, gripping his hair, as if that would stop everything.

But it did nothing. New York was forced to his knees as the pain in his head reached an overwhelming point. A warm blackness beckoned him, calling for him to let the memories take control. 

New York tried to fight it, but his body was still in front of him, and it pulled out more and more of New Netherlands, convincing him to stop fighting and let the real personification take control.

“Ik ben New York! Ik ben New York! Ik ben-ik ben…” New York trailed off as everything just got dark and fuzzy and faded. The blackness and her memories seemed to work together to make him feel so tired and weak that New York would stop replacing New Netherlands and keep her from his mind.

“Ik ben niet... echt. Ik ben een bedrieger.” New York was vaguely aware of muttering before he faded into the blackness.

—English is now going to be underlined because I’m not google translating all the Dutch—

New Netherlands was so confused. One minute, she and her little brother had been racing each other through town; the next, she was covered in sweat and in a hole and apparently had wings…and a new flag. New Netherlands then looked down and screamed.

There were two different reasons for that. The first was that she was missing her boobs and realized that she was somehow in a man’s body.

The second was that there was a dead body in front of her. The body had the same flag as New Netherlands and her mother, although thankfully, it was too short to be her mother. New Netherlands wanted to get a closer look at the body, but she was trembling too much to do anything other than move and stare. 

“New York? Was that you? Are you okay? The Italian worker said you found a dead countryhuman.” New Netherlands heard a man say. She tore her eyes away from the body and tried to move out of the hole, away from the body, but she just lost her balance and fell. This body was much taller than mine, even if not by much. But the wings made it so hard to walk. 

Then, a shadow suddenly fell over the hole, and she looked up to see a tall man, taller than she had ever seen before, looking at her. Not only that, but he was a countryhuman that bore a flag with red and white stripes and a blue canton with small stars that were in the shape of a bigger star and dark brown hair. His circular glasses seemed to reflect the light and made it impossible to see his eye color. He smiled at New Netherlands and then slid into the hole, carefully avoiding the body.

“Hey York, are you alright?” he asked, reaching out an arm, revealing more stars decorating his arms: blue stars in white stripes and white stars in red stripes, with one big white star in the center or one hand, and a circle of stars on the other.

“What are you saying? I don’t understand.” New Netherlands said, hoping this man knew Dutch, French, or Swedish. If he didn't, it would be much harder to figure out what happened to me. His eyes widened, and his head turned even so slightly towards the dead body.

“Shit. Out of all the states…Hello, New Netherlands. Are you alright?” He asked. He knew Dutch then. That was a major relief. 

“Who—who are you? Did you do this to me? Trap me in this body of this country?” New Netherlands asked. The tall man looked at me with kind, sad eyes.

“New Netherlands, I promise I'm not here to hurt you. I’m only here to take you back to your brother, New Sweden,” the man said. New Netherlands froze. Her brother. Was he hurt? Was he trapped with this man?

“Where is my brother? How do I know I can trust you?” New Netherlands snapped. The man gave her a look full of an emotion she couldn’t place.

“You don’t know. But please do,” he said, holding his hand out to her. New Netherlands stared at it nervously but took it. His hands were rough and scarred compared to mine, which were tiny and dainty. He pulled her up easily, and she stumbled, not used to the weight on her back. 

The surrounding area vanished, and New Netherlands was in an unfamiliar room in an unfamiliar house. She was in the country world. She pulled away from the man and tripped over something, falling back on the unbelievably soft bed.

“Why did you do that?” New Netherlands snapped. The man held up his hands and looked like he was going to say something before the door burst open, and I flinched. New Netherlands turned to see who that was and saw an unfamiliar country with cow features, but something about him was strangely familiar. 

“It’s not him right now, Delly. It’s New Netherlands. He doesn't trust me in this state. Can you try to calm him down? He found New Netherlands's body, and I need to take care of that before a human takes it,” the man said. The country nodded and then turned to New Netherlands, smiling.

“New Netherlands! My sister! I missed you,” the boy—New Sweden—said. New Netherlands scrambled off the bed and rushed over to give him a hug, clutching him tightly and almost knocking him over. Then she started crying a little before the tears began to rush out. She was so confused and scared, and her brother looked different. Why didn’t she remember what happened to him?

“Sister, you need to sleep. I know…I know things are confusing, but you need rest. I promise I will explain everything to you when you wake up.” New Sweden said as the hug ended, wiping some tears off New Netherlands’ face as he led her back to the bed.

“Okay, brother. Stay? Please?” New Netherlands said. His face brightened.

“Of course I will.” He said back to her in his Dutch. New Netherlands smiled and went to lay on the bed, pulling her brother onto the bed with her as she did so. 

The man smiled and then left the room, allowing New Netherlands to relax more. She felt New Sweden’s new tail wrap around her leg as he gave her a cheeky little smile. New Netherlands felt her expression soften into something fonder, and she pulled him close, placing her head on his chest and making sure she could hear his heartbeat. 

We always slept like this when we slept together.

“Can you sing that one lullaby, bror? The one your adopted human mother would sing to you?” New Netherlands asked. Her brother nodded and then began singing softly in Finnish, the weird language his people spoke. New Netherlands closed her eyes and felt herself drifting off as her brother pulled the soft blankets over them.

“I’m sorry you had to see that York. I promise I will keep you safe.” New Netherlands heard her brother whisper before she drifted off entirely. 

————

New Netherlands woke up to the sound of something breaking and loud thuds, almost as if there was a fight. She jerked upwards, accidentally using New Sweden’s face as a resting spot for her hand.

“Get your dirty hand out of my face, you idiot!” He snapped in a muffled and groggy voice, in a language New Netherlands didn’t know. She removed her hand and shushed her brother. She didn’t know what he was saying, but the fact that there was a fight or something nearby was more important.

“Shush, little brother. Something is happening nearby.” New Netherlands said. New Sweden rubbed at his eyes and yawned.

"That’s probably the others. We are sharing this house with several other colonies. Plymouth and Virginia, and whatnot.” He muttered sleepily. 

“What?” New Netherlands asked, confused and very worried. Was that why he knew that strange language? Was it English? New Sweden was already drifting off again.

“Wake up, you tiny idiot!” New Netherlands said, shaking his shoulder, hoping for some answer. All that did was further remind her of the fact that she was in the wrong body. Remembering this made the weird feeling start again. It was like there were ants crawling all over her. New Netherlands felt really weird moving her body because it just seemed to do something that would remind her that she didn’t have a female body.

Her hair was too short, her chest was too flat, her privates were changed, and she was wearing pants! 

New Netherlands hoped she could get this fixed somehow before she had to use the bathroom.

“Swedes and Finns of New Netherlands, wake the fuck up!” New Netherlands said again, hoping that the distraction of her idiot little brother and wherever they were could take her mind off everything.

“Full names? Really, Chloë?” He asked, sitting up as he rubbed at one of his eyes.

“Karl, you know you can’t just drop things like that on me and then try to sleep again. Why are we with the colonies of other countries?” 

“Because we aren’t New Netherlands anymore. That man—he’s our adoptive father. This is our home, this is your room. I know…you had an accident and forgot. But even if you don’t trust anything here, I swear on my life and my second chance at it that I will protect you, okay?” Her brother said. New Netherlands didn’t know how to respond to that, but she nodded, and New Sweden brightened and looked so happy.

New Netherlands knew there was probably truth to what he said, that England and his lackeys had taken them from their true mother. New Netherlands didn’t know who that man was and why New Sweden decided he was our father, but she wouldn’t put it past that man to have taken advantage of her brother. People had before, and in ways that weren’t just making him think that he had an adoptive father.

But New Netherlands wouldn’t say that, especially if she didn’t understand anything. If this were good, then she would let her brother stay happy.

“Do you want to meet some of them? At least one?” New Sweden asked. New Netherlands bit her lip and then nodded.

“Alright, lillebror. Lead the way,” New Netherlands said. He gave that same bright, sunshiney smile and grabbed her hand as he scrambled out of the bed, dragging her after him. They walked through the halls until New Sweden spotted someone with a yellow flag.

“HEY ASSHOLE! COME SAY HELLO TO YOUR FAVORITE DEAD PEOPLE!” New Sweden yelled at him in the same strange language.

“Hello, Delly. Are you doing okay?” The colony said, walking over.

“I’m fine, NJ.” New Sweden said. New Netherlands thinks he was calling this colony NJ. What does that mean? It’s a weird name. 

“Delly, are you sure you won't slip into New Sweden? Are you sure this is safe? I know Dutch, too. I can talk to her—him, whatever.” This NJ person sounded worried. Was her brother doing something stupid? What were they saying?

“New Netherlands never knew you. She has no reason to trust you. You know that Jersey. She won't trust anyone but me.” That sounded like her name. Why were they saying her name? 

“And what are you doing about the memory gaps? You barely remember anything from when New Sweden became the personification of the Swedes and Finns of New Netherlands. What if you slip up?”

“I remember that New Sweden was somewhat sickly then. I can roll with that. Besides, if I say something like, ‘I was injured, and I have had memory issues since then,’ she’ll believe it.'

“This feels underhanded.”

“It’s not even her. It’s still Yorkie. He’s just trapped in his memories, probably convinced that he doesn’t exist or is an imposter controlling her body. New Netherlands has been dead for a long, long time. Yorkie found her body, you know that. It’s still our brother. We just have to keep him here until he comes back to himself. With the memories in control, he might flee in a panic or try and find the Dutch Republic, who is dead. This is the safest option. You know that.” New Sweden said, and New Netherlands finally had enough of not participating in this conversation.

“What are you talking about?” She asked.

“Life. And my missing brother,” NJ said in perfect Dutch. New Netherlands looked surprised at New Sweden, who smiled.

“New Jersey has picked a decent amount of Dutch over the years.” He explained.

“My land is close to yours, so the Dutch speakers from New Y—Amsterdam visited my place and brought it over. You and I are the Dutch guys. He’s just the baby.” NJ—New Jersey said, jerking his thumb towards New Sweden as he said the last part. New Sweden pouted at that, and New Netherlands laughed.

“Swedes is a baby.” New Netherlands said, wrapping an arm over her brother’s shoulder and smiling at him. 

“You’re both hilarious.” He said sarcastically, pushing her arm off his shoulder before turning to New Jersey.

“I can’t believe you are getting along with your so-called sworn enemy.” He spoke to New Jersey in the same strange language. 

“It’s not really him.” New Jersey answered, “Now, New Netherlands, what do you do for fun? Papa’s got some business to take care of, and we are going to be looking after you for a while, so anything we can do to make your stay in this hellhole more bearable, let us know, and we’ll be happy to help.”

“No…no thank you. I just think I’ll stick with New Sweden until things get worked out. You will get me back my real body…or fix this, right?” New Netherlands asked nervously. New Sweden smiled at me.

“Don’t worry. By the end of the week, you’ll be right as rain. Just trust me.”

“Okay lillebror. I will.”

[unohanabbygirl]

I'm soo obsessed with FMN I've binged it all in a few days! Poor Luke he truly did not deserve the hand he got, like so many in his situation 😭. Will he ever reunite with his bio mom in this world? Ik she basically abandoned him but if she ever finds out he got taken in by a fam with money I can def see her coming back. Also I remember that one of his foster dads was a major creep, spying on him naked & stuff, did anything further happen with that? Because maybe he can have testify with Alicent by his side to get more abusive ppl out. Daemon is surprisingly well adjusted for the modern era I'm impressed!

I'm so excited to see more of Owen. I'm guessing he's in jail (which is lucky bc Luke's fam can't get to him lol). I think it's very interesting and realistic with how blase Luke is to all the stuff he had to face. I realy get the feeling he knows it's wrong/not normal esp when we see his interactions with the kids. But bc he's essentially been so dehumanized throughout his life it seems like he's really internalized that he has go accept abuse as a normal thing. Does he expect his og fam to ever hurt him once the "illusion" of their dead son breaks? They did kinda back themselves intl a corner with that, at least until hos memories return. Anyways thanks for ur work!

My heart is so full rn 😭💗

The whole situation with Luke and his past foster father who had been spying on the kids isn’t something I’m going any further into until we’re more towards the end of the story. However, it’s implied that night ended in a fight which led to Luke being removed from the household.

Alicent helping get more creeps out of the foster system is such beautiful idea. A lot of healing is going to have to come first before Luke feels comfortable disclosing all of his past experiences in order to make it happen.

Daemon seems, well adjusted…but he’s still the same man who happily put down his life in hopes of winning the war for Nyra at his core. Daemon will always be the rouge prince at heart I’m afraid lmao.

There will be more of Owen, we’re coming up on reaching the halfway point in the story and Luke now has a therapist so expect more background to how that whole situation came to be as well as a deeper look into why Luke feels so much love for him besides what’s already been revealed.

Deep down, Luke knows the things that happened to him weren’t ok, but brushing over it all or even putting himself in a place of responsibility for his abuse is how he copes. Like you said, in the way he interacts with children and cares for their well-being its clear that he knows hurting children in that way is wrong no matter what. There’s a small moment in the pool party chapter where he’s genuinely worried that Daemon has put his hands on little Viserys and feels so protective until he’s assured nothing of the sort ever happened.

Luke fully expects to be left in the dust if he truly reveals his entire being rather than just the “nice” or “cool” parts because it’ll bring Rhaenyra back to the reality that he isn’t Lucerys. Sadly, such immense pressure will only lead to a blow up.

They did in fact fuck themselves by revealing that, but its too late now 😭

Thank you for your sweet words <3

[softmafia]

Hello!!! Uhhh ok uh like... ik you aren't doing requests and idk if the one fic you posted recently about the adult trio is a new ask or not but the one fic about Hisoka dying was amazing and i was wondering if maybe you would consider doing it again but the roles reversed? Mainly cuz I wanna see Hisoka cry but feel free to ignore this and sorry for bothering you

Fallen

Warnings: Angst, fem y/n death, minor blood

A/n: hellloooo! I’m sorry if this comes out later than expected, I’ve been a bit busy lol. I also mixed this idea with another ask, just because it was basically asking for the same thing.

Hisoka’s ears were still ringing from the impact of the explosion, but still, he rushed to the body; “Y/n..” he could barely hear his own words. His large hands cupped her face, for a moment it felt like his world was crumbling. Her eyes were closed and her mouth slightly parted— even on her deathbed she looked beautiful.. like she was just sleeping.

He slowly lifted her head, his voice cracked in his own throat as he tried to keep it together. “Y/n..” he whispered, “Please..”

Footsteps were heard in the distance, Gon and his friends were also caught up in the explosion, but they were the least of Hisoka’s concerns right now. “Hisoka-” Leorio stammered, and stopped in his place when he saw Hisoka holding Y/n’s frail body, “Oh god.. I have a first aid kit in my car, just stay here.”

“Is she gonna be alright?!” Gon asked, although all Hisoka could do was just sit there.

Hisoka didn’t take his eyes off of Y/n, but he nodded slowly. He then gasped when she began to stir, his breathing picked up pace as he held her closer, “Y/n, oh baby are you ok?!” He wiped some dirt off of her cheek with his thumb. The girl chuckled weakly, looking at him with tired eyes, “You’re worried about me..” she teased. The magician sighed and kissed her forehead, “Why wouldn’t I be? I told you not to rush back in that building.” He scolded shakily, “You never listen to me..”

Y/n chuckled again, snuggling against Hisoka despite the pain that raked through her body, “Remember when we were kids?” She mumbled, her voice was a strained whisper, “I used to buy that gum you liked.. I only wanted it for the riddles on the wrapper, so I let you have the candy.” She smiled at the memory. Hisoka swallowed, a lump formed in his throat as he tried to hold back tears, “Y/n.. you’re gonna get help, ok?” He whispered.

Leorio rushed back with the first aid kit, “Her injuries are fatal..” he said, putting pressure on one of her wounds, “I can try to save her..”

“There is no trying, you have to save her.” Hisoka snarled viciously, his usual charisma had vanished, his mind was taken over by stress and panic. “Alright alright!” Leorio gulped as he broke a sweat, he honestly forgot how scary Hisoka could be for a second.. The magician turned his attention towards Y/n again, his eyes widened as he leaned closer to her, “Don’t close your eyes, baby.” He pleaded, “N-No.. Y/n..” his hands began to shake, Y/n’s eyes closed, for good this time. Hisoka’s mouth was agape and he couldn’t contain the tears that welled inside of him, “No..”

“I’m sorry- there was nothing I could’ve done, she-...” Leorio nervously looked at Hisoka, he was expecting the man to lash out at him or something but.. was he crying? He stood up to quietly step away from Hisoka and Y/n’s body. “She’s dead..?” Killua whispered, “I didn’t know he was that close to her..”

Hisoka choked, he pressed his forehead against hers and held her tightly. Quiet, shaky sobs left his lips, the tears rolled down his cheeks.

“We should leave him alone.. let him have some time..” Kurapika suggested as he began to walk.

Gon looked back at the scene for the final time, the image of Hisoka, holding Y/n’s dead body was burned into his memory.

[makiema]

finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀

my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:

here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel. 

Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.

 Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :

is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.

now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:

and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:

chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:

and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is  both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part: 

these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway,  this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is: 

this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about  is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have: 

not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is: 

i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is  smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt  find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to  up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:  

what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human. 

this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol. 

so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer) 

mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya. 

and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer. 

in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:

dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon. 

[songficsbyrissi]

You’re Mines Still (Erik X Reader)

“They say time heals She can't see her life without me, she's so blind still Fuck that nigga, you can tell him that you're mines still” - Yung Bleu feat. Drake

A/N: heyyyy y’all! Back from the dead again! 🤣 here to drop my shit and dip as always. I’m trying to stop that, I swear. Hennyways, I wanna put a disclaimer here: I have nothing against MBJ. I couldn’t care less about the nigga but I thought it’ll be interesting to have this nigga as the boyfriend, instead of making a character up in contrast to Erik. I think it’s perfect because I’m pretty sure they’re two completely different niggas. And I know “mines” isn’t proper English but I’m going with the title of the song so don’t start with me 😂😂😂 Aight imma let y’all read lol. Hope you enjoy it!

**************

You were doing it again.

You found yourself observing your boyfriend Michael, and comparing him to your ex, Erik. Right now, Michael came into the kitchen and gave you a swift kiss on the cheek to say good morning. It was sweet and nice but Erik would’ve grabbed you by the waist, pulled you in for a long, juicy kiss, followed by a smack on the ass. You found yourself low-key missing that, but you moved on so you had to let that go.

“Michael?”

“Yes, cookie?”

You held yourself back from rolling your eyes. It was a cute nickname, but ever since you told him your favorite dessert was chocolate chip cookies, here this nigga go, making it your nickname.

You shook your head. “Never mind.”

“You seem so distant, babe. What’s on your mind?” He asked from his seat at the table.

You avoided eye contact with him. “Nothing. I’ve just been tired.”

He snorted at this. “It’s because you work too much. I told you to chill.” He got up from the table and kissed you on the cheek. “Alright, I’ll see you later. I gotta go to the office.”

“Bye.” You said faintly as he walked out of the door. That was another thing. Erik could tell when something was bothering you and knew you avoided eye contact when you were lying. Michael just let anything you tell him slide. At this point, you could have a gunshot wound in your stomach and tell him you were fine and he’ll believe it.

You sighed deeply and got your things together so you could go back to your place. Michael asked you to move in with him, but you knew you weren’t ready for that. Not with him.

On your way to your apartment, you remembered you needed to do some grocery shopping, so you pulled up to the supermarket and pulled out your list of essentials on your notes app. The supermarket wasn’t too busy, thank God. You were able to weave back and forth through the aisles with ease. You got to the soup aisle and the broth you needed was all the way on the top shelf. You looked to the side to make sure no one would see you embarrass yourself. Before you could climb, a man’s arm reached up, grabbed the carton of broth, and handed it to you.

You smiled softly. “Thank you so much. I was about to embarrass myself climbing this shelf.”

“I could see that.” The man replied in a familiar voice that caused you to break your neck to look at him.

“Erik....” you breathed nervously once your eyes fell on him. He was still fine as always. The day you run into him, he would be wearing a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants. An outfit that gets any girl’s faucet running. You wanted to sneak a glance, but you stopped yourself because you knew he would catch it.

He licked his bottom lip and looked you up and down. Damn him.

“Hey ma...it’s been a while.”

You nodded, looking down at your shopping cart. “Yeah, it has....”

“You still fine as hell.” Erik cracked a smirk and you were getting more and more nervous under his gaze. What the fuck is wrong with you?

You decided to breathe and ignore his statement. “How have you been, Erik?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, which something he always did when he was nervous. Holy shit, he was nervous around you. Why did that bring a pang of joy into your heart?

“I’ve been chilling. I'm still an architect. Still designing houses and getting people to buy them. It’s been aight. I’ve been successful.”

You gave him a genuine smile. “That’s good. I’m glad everything is going good in your career.”

“Yeah, it is. If only you were with me to see it all.”

You sighed deeply, shaking your head. “Erik-“

“I should’ve never let you go, Y/N. You were a good ass woman and you motivated me. I know I messed up but-“

“Erik, I’m kinda seeing someone else right now.” You spat out, preventing him from continuing the monologue he had going. He seemed taken aback by your outburst. Then came denial, anger, sadness, and acceptance all on his face.

“I’m sorry, Erik but I have a new boyfriend now. His name is Michael and he’s great. I figured you should know that.”

Erik let out a dry laugh in response and held his hands up in defense. “Yeah, you know what? I should’ve. A woman like you, of course, a nigga gonna snatch you up. That’s my fault. I hope he treats you well.”

“He does.” You swallowed hard and pushed your cart forward. “You take care of yourself, Erik. I’ll see you around.”

You didn’t wait for a reply. You just continued pushing until you heard his voice.

“You too, Princess.”

You stopped in your tracks for a bit, hearing that nickname for the first time in forever but you continued on your journey, refusing to look back at your ex.

You wrapped up your grocery store trip and went home. Even while you were cooking for your new man, Erik was still on your mind. You couldn’t help but think about all the times you had with him. One memory came back to you and you cringed. The night you two broke up.

“All you can think about are these damn houses! What about our house, Erik?!?!” You screamed coming closer to him, with your fists clenched. “What about all the shit you promised me?!”

“You’re still getting it, Princess! I promise!” He tried to pull you in a hug, but you pushed him away. All you saw was red. You didn’t want him touching you. You stuck a finger in his face.

“Bullshit! I’m tired of your empty-ass promises! I’m better than this! I’m better just being your damn girlfriend for all these years! It’s either you’re wanna be with me forever or you don’t! It’s that simple!”

Erik gathered up all the anger building to yell back. “No! It ain’t that simple! You just don’t get it.” Your angry demeanor softened at his words and you took a seat on the leather sofa. You wanted to cry because this shit was so fucking frustrating. You looked up at him with all the sincerity you could muster.

“Help me get it, Erik. Please. Because I just don’t.”

Erik took your trembling hands into his larger hands. “I just...I just don’t see myself as your husband right now. I got a lot of shit to work out before I can make that type of commitment to you, ma. I just need you to understand that and stick with me. I’m not saying it’s never going to happen. I’m just saying now’s not the right time.”

As much as you tried to prevent it, it happened. Tears were rolling down your cheeks. Erik began wiping them off, but you backed away.

“You keep saying that. When is the right time, huh? When?” You asked then sneered once you saw that once again, he couldn’t supply you an answer. “Just admit it, Erik. You don’t want to marry me. You don’t want to get a house with me, you don’t want to have kids with me. You don’t...” you swallowed hard, trying to find the strength to say this. “You don’t want forever with me. Now I get it.”

Erik shook his head vigorously as you rose from the sofa and he grabbed your hand. “No, baby girl! You’re not getting it! I love you! I love you so much! Please!”

You used your free hand to wipe some more of your tears. “You don’t love me the way I love you, Erik. I’ve been dying to be your wife, but you don’t want to be my husband. So I’m not gonna waste time with you when I can find someone who will.”

You released yourself from the grip he had on you, both figuratively and literally, and packed all your shit up. Despite the protests and guilt-tripping coming from Erik, you still made it your mission to get the fuck out of his apartment and get the fuck out of his life.

After mourning and healing from the loss of your long-term relationship, you met Michael. He was a nice man who looked similar to Erik but was completely different, personality-wise. Your friends noticed how much Michael looked like Erik, but they decided not to bring it up because they knew you would deny it. You were in denial, convinced it was all a coincidence. Deep down, you knew damn well he looked like Erik.

However, he was nothing like him and you thought that would work out in your favor. It didn’t.

You laid wide awake in Michael’s bed. He fell asleep after one round of sex and you were not satisfied. The sex was good, but one round??? Erik used to go at least 3 a night. Erik also would spoon, but Michael was turned away from you, snoring away. Your phone buzzed on your nightstand and you picked it up to see a text from your ex. You sat up in shock and opened it.

Erik:

Ik I shouldn’t b but I can’t stop thinkin bout u. I never stopped.

You took a deep breath and fixed your thumbs to respond.

You:

I’m with someone else, Erik. U gotta respect that.

Erik:

I do I just don’t like it. Can we at least be friends?

You contemplated your answer, then constructed a text back.

You:

Fine. We’ll be friends.

Erik:

With benefits? 👀

This caused you to stifle a laugh that would’ve been loud enough to wake up your boyfriend.

You:

Lmao no! Just friends, Erik.

Erik:

Lol I’ll take what I can get. Good night, Princess ❤️

After that last text, you were smiling yourself to sleep. It didn’t take long for Erik to invite you to group outings with mutual friends to eventually just you and him. It felt wrong but felt so right at the same time. You were alone in Michael’s apartment once again when Erik hit you up asking if you would like to see a house he built that was being pulled off the market. You agreed since you had nothing else to do. It’s just a house.

Needless to say, The house was gorgeous.

“Shittttt look at this fucking closet!” You cooed, entering the large walk-in closet in the master bedroom, and turned around to look at Erik with an enormous smile on your face. “Erik! You did that shit! This is my dream house! If I had the money, I would buy it right now!”

Erik chuckled with his arms folded. “It’s already bought, Princess.”

You scrunched up your face in disappointment as you stood against the marble island table in the middle of the room. “Ughh for real? I bet they don’t even like it like that!”

“Nah...I do.” He walked up to you slowly.

It didn’t click for your slow ass what he just said. “Of course you like it. You designed it.”

“Nah, we designed it.”

A record scratch went off in your head and you turned to see Erik right next to you. You gazed into his eyes to see an emotion you couldn’t describe. He saw confusion in yours.

“You ain’t noticed how this house is exactly your dream house? Everything you wanted in a house is right here. Baby girl, after you left me, all I could think about you and us and how I fucked us up. I was designing other houses and buildings, but there’s one that was most important to me that I never focused on and that was ours. I remembered our discussions and you didn’t know it, but I took notes of everything we wanted in a house. I finally had the motivation to get it designed, built, and bought.”

Erik built a house for you. He actually listened to you. Even when you thought he wasn’t, he was listening to every detail of what you wanted. You had so many questions to ask, but you were speechless. What were you supposed to say to this?

“I don’t want you to think I was on some creepy nigga shit because I wasn’t. It’s just that this design was gonna go to waste and I was going to let them sell it to the highest bidder, but I just couldn’t. This house was the last piece of you I had left. If I sold it, it was like me officially giving up on the possibility of us. I still had that hope. I’m a stupid ass nigga, I know.”

Your right hand grasped his left hand and he finally spared you a glance to see unshed tears in your eyes.

“I wanted this....from you....for so long. For so long! Why are you giving it to me now?! When I have someone else?!” You threw his hand out of frustration and exited the closet. You didn’t make it far. You just went into the master bedroom and cried your eyes out. You waited so long for this and he’s giving it to you now? When Michael was in the picture? Well, It’s too damn late.

Erik got on his knees and grasped your knees. You stared at him through the tears in your eyes.

“I know you’re building a life with this nigga, but stop. Stop that shit. You know he ain’t the one for you. Fuck that nigga. You’re mines still.” Erik was pleading with you. He began to shed a tear. Holy shit, he meant every word. “Baby, I’m on my knees. Take me back.”

Your ex began planting tender kisses on your knees and traveled up to your thighs, still holding you. Your heart raced at his actions, but you didn’t want him to stop. You missed him. You missed him so damn much. As much as you tried to lie to yourself, you still loved him.

“Erik, get up.”

He obeyed and you took his face in your hands, caressing the sides.

“You’re such a fucking manipulative motherfucker and I hate that I love you so fucking much.”

Erik took your hands into his and kissed the insides. “I ain’t trying to manipulate you, baby. I swear I’m not. I love you and I just wanted you to know that I heard you. You just wanted a nigga to show you that he was serious about you. I get it. While you were gone, I focused on myself and fixed myself because I admit I was dragging my ass with doing that while we were together. It was because I thought you were here to stay so I had all the time in the world to get my shit together. When you left, I saw that I was wrong. I was wrong as fuck.”

You didn’t say anything. You just let him keep talking.

“I love you, baby. All I’m asking for is a second chance to make this right, but if you say no, I’ll sell this house and leave you alone for good. I swear on my Pops’ grave, I’ll leave you the fuck alone, Y/N.” His words were so heartfelt. “I don’t wanna go unless you make me.”

You were hyperventilating through your tears, then a smile formed across your face. “Erik, I love you. I love you so much, baby.”

Erik tackled you with frequent kisses on your lips and it turned into a whole passionate make-out session. He planted kisses all over your neck while he unbuttoned your blouse and you could feel his hard dick through his pants.

“Fuck. I missed this. I missed us.” You breathed when his lips met yours, once again.

“I missed us too, baby.” Erik rested his forehead against yours and stared into your eyes with so much love. “Be my wife.”

You backed away from him and furrowed your eyebrows. “What?”

“You heard me. Marry me, baby. I don’t wanna waste any more time.” He saw the look on your face and his joyful expression turned somber. “You don’t want to marry me?”

You shook your head. “It’s not that, Erik. I always wanted to but just because we getting back together doesn’t mean I wanna rush into a marriage. We gotta fix us first. We can’t even fix us right now because I still have to break up with Michael.”

Erik put a hand through his hands and blew air out of his mouth. “You right.”

“And the way you asked sucked.” You deadpanned but found yourself laughing afterward and he face palmed himself. “Seriously? After all this time, I deserve a better proposal than that.”

Erik chuckled and placed a soft kiss on your lips. “You right. Once again. Imma do better.”

And when he said he would do better, you knew he wasn’t just talking about the proposal.

“You better. I ain’t giving you a third chance. This ain’t baseball!”

This caused him to guffaw, pull you into a tight, loving embrace, and kissed you once again. He had a grin on his face that rivaled the Cheshire cat.

“You’re mines still,” Erik said as a statement and a question.

“Yep. I never stopped being yours, baby boy.”

TAGS:  @lifelover4u @dessianna1 @brattywriters-anonymous @marvelmaree​ @purple-apricots​ @blackpinup22 @ljstraightnochaser @slimmiyagi @cancerianprincess @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @vibranium-chakra @nerd-lovely @chaneajoyyy​ @ohliyaxoxo @chefjessypooh @yourfavoritefavorite @airis-paris14 @ljstraightnochaser @quietstorm-73 @msincognito67 @sociallyawkward18 @mychemicalimagines @nerd-lovely @marvelpotterlove   @destinio1 @madamslayyy @thehomierobbstark @fd-writes​ @semianta​ @raysunshine78​  @lifelover4u @dessianna1 @brattywriters-anonymous @marvelpotterlove @guccixcucci​ @blackpinup22 @ljstraightnochaser @slimmiyagi @cancerianprincess @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @vibranium-chakra @nerd-lovely @chaneajoyyy​ @ohliyaxoxo @chefjessypooh @yourfavoritefavorite @airis-paris14 @ljstraightnochaser @quietstorm-73 @msincognito67 @sociallyawkward18 @mychemicalimagines @nerd-lovely @marvelpotterlove   @destinio1 @madamslayyy @thehomierobbstark @fd-writes​ @semianta​ @raysunshine78​ @fd-writes​ @rbhp @fandom-fangirl22​ @bigchoose​

(Sorry if you got double tagged or I missed you. I need to get my tags together I know )

[lilikags]

ೃ‧₊› a b o u t  t h i s  p o s t° ➮ Pairing: Miya Atsumu x reader ➮ Oneshot ➮ Tags: fluff ➮ Word Count: 2182

A/N: This is for @serowotonin​! [for Luna’s Valentines Day collab] Ik I said I was doing Atsumu bc “I was bored” but I always say “imagine being bored” and truly, I haven’t been bored for so long. I forgot that this was for the collab for a fat moment then when you saw the preview I was like, “Wait- no- it’s a surprise.” 

Premise: You and Atsumu are cleaning out the apartment, when you find a few letters you thought you would never see again… 

“Oi, (y/n), look at what I found,” you heard Atsumu say, leaning over the contents of a drawer he had been sifting through. 

“What?” you walked over to see what he had found. The two of you were cleaning out the apartment, as you were going to be moving out soon. Atsumu had a habit of keeping things that connected him to an important memory of his, unless he wanted to forget it- and this was one of them. You didn’t know he kept them- actually, it did make sense of him to, but you had simply forgotten about it and you somehow expected the same for him. You looked down to see what he had in his hands, and your face literally went emotionless as you saw the letter in his hands. 

You really didn’t mind the letters, for the most part. Actually, they held dear to you. However, that first one… you were grateful for it, but you also remembered just how bad you wanted to buy a grave space and bury it for eternity back then... 

Miya Atsumu.

This was a dare. This is a love letter. For Valentines. Happy valentines day. If you have extra chocolate, send me some. 

Sincerest thanks, (y/n). 

Atsumu usually threw away the letters he received every Valentines. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude; it was just that there were too many letters for him to read (and reply to), so he usually just threw them out. Osamu often teased him for this; he boasted that he at least read his letters.

“Oi, ‘Samu, look at this one,” Atsumu called out to his brother. 

“What?” Osamu looked at him, with a face of disbelief. “Yer actually lookin’ at them?”

“Nah, not really, but this one’s hilarious,” Atsumu laughed. 

“Okay, not funny, keep yer lame humor to yourself.” 

----------------

“(y/n), truth or dare,” (b/f/n) asked. 

You smiled, “Dare.” 

“Hmmm… alright, send a love letter to Miya Atsumu- it has to be at least one line long.”

“I’m- okay then.” 

You brought out a piece of paper, wrote the first things that came to mind, and once you reached one line, you stopped. You folded the paper and grabbed whatever envelope you could find and sealed it with tape. The dare required actually giving the letter, much to your dismay, but it wasn’t like you could back down from a dare. After all, it was (b/f/n), and the nonstop teasing would definitely occur if you failed to complete the dare. 

Dearest (y/n), 

I did in fact receive your rather interesting letter, and I have decided to bring you some chocolate as you wished. I wish you, as well, a very happy valentine’s day this year.

Most sincerely, Atsumu. 

Atsumu was intrigued enough to write a reply; in fact, he decided to write in the most formal way possible. He knew from the letter that you were either a tsundere or someone who was actually dared to do so, and decided that it would be fun entertainment for the both of you. 

When you received the letter, you were surprised to see a reply. It was known he didn’t send out replies, yet you had received one. As you read it, you felt a need to reply; you’d simply feel bad if you didn’t. However, what was there to talk about? How the chocolates were good? He had stuck it on your first period desk, out in the open. And you also sincerely wondered what was with the overly formal tone. You do remember writing the most shitty letter you’ve ever written to him, and that volleyball-obsessed dude just writes something formal to you? Baffles the mind.

Well, then, if he was going to reply, you would too. 

Miya Atsumu,

Thanks for the chocolate- your fans make pretty good chocolate, I have to say. Bet I could make better chocolate than ya, ‘cause all ya focus on is just volleyball. Anyways, what was with the overly formal tone- ya like me or somethin’? Would be funny if ya did and I turned ya down. XD  

(y/n) 

You never really thought of Miya Atsumu, but this really sparked your interest. It was amusing, his reactions. It was definitely something you didn’t expect- you actually didn’t expect a reply at all. The reply you received was definitely out of the ordinary as well, one you never thought a hotshot volleyball player would write. It seemed he was interested in you in some ways- and you as well. 

(y/n),

Pfffft, you think I might like ya? I just thought yer letter was interestin’, that’s all. Ya really think I can’t make chocolate? Bet I could make better chocolate than ya, I’ll show you. I make you chocolate myself and we’ll see how it tastes. Just you watch, I’ll make ya say I make the best chocolate ever! 

Atsumu. 

You saw that in your shoe locker the next morning- and everyone saw it. You were beginning to regret actually replying to him, but there was no backing out now. (b/f/n) really hit the goal here, for her. People were probably talking about it. It’s always some event that involves romance that catches everyone’s eye. And since it was just after valentine’s, everyone would automatically assume it was a love letter. In reality, it was simply a little bit of playful banter. 

You wondered if people actually knew who it was. You hoped not; it would gather way too much attention for your liking. You’d have an entire fanclub after you, and it was definitely (b/f/n)’s fault that you got into this entire mess. You had absolutely no idea if anyone saw him slip that into your shoe locker, since it had probably been there for a good hour or so before you and most of the other students got there. In any case, there was nothing you could do about people knowing things they already know, so you headed onto class. It was exam week, and you sighed; it would be a long day. 

When you arrived at homeroom, you were not-so-pleasantly surprised with what you found at your desk. You just wanted a quiet day; go to school, take the tests, and get out so you could relax at home. But no, you just had to see this and you knew there was a thing called rumors you had to deal with. Well, you could just be like “whatever” and not care, but you definitely knew who’d be after you, for real. Atsumu’s fanbase was quite scary, and definitely large- a group of people one would regret messing with. 

“Ugh- what am I going to do with this chocolate now, he gave me a lot yesterday…” 

“(y/n)! Oiiii, you got chocolate?! From who from who-”

“(b/f/n), if you say a word, you are going to be dead to me.”

“...” she looked away, but then turned to you again and whispered in your ear. “So, Miya Atsumu, who has a fanbase, likes you.” 

“I’m- no-”

“But what I’m seeing says otherwise?”

“Ugh, you’re coming to my house and you are going to pay for that dare.” 

“Oh ho ho, seems like I started something…” “Bet you did.”

Pisshead Atsumu

LMAO bet ya didn’t make the chocolate, yer terrible at lying <///3 seen this chocolate before. And like wtf you put a box of chocolate on my desk with YOUR NAME on it. Ya know that people will do a thing called assuming things, right? Smh, think before you act. Anyways, I’m counting on ya to fix up this mess.

(y/n)

When you finished class, the first thing you did was write the note. You were absolutely paranoid with this mess, and you were going to have Atsumu fix it. Yes, you did technically initiate contact first, but that was (b/f/n)’s fault and this could’ve avoided this if he hadn’t pulled off a whole stunt. 

It was already around 6 when he saw the note. A small smirk filled his expression, he was so sure that he would be able to get a good reaction out of (y/n). It was written on scrap paper, the back of a phys. ed worksheet. You wrote it in a rush, very obviously. That wasn’t really what caught his attention though; he was puzzled as to how he would fix this. Tell his fans to fuck off? Osamu would tease him for eternity.

“Oi, what’cha starin’ at?” he heard Osamu nag. “Mom’s waitin’ for us for dinner.”

“Hey, ‘Samu…  ya know how to fix this?” 

“... ARE YOU AN IDIOT- YOU ARE AN IDIOT.”

“I AM NOT! YOU ARE THE IDIOT HERE!” 

“SAYS THE ONE WHO GOT INTO A MESS LIKE THIS!” 

“Oi, ya shouldn’t be fightin’ at this hour,” the two heard Kita say, as he gave them a certain look. “... ‘m sorry…” the twins apologized.

Even after a fulfilling dinner made by their mother and a nice, hot shower, Atsumu still couldn’t think of a solution. Osamu almost snitched on him, but he decided that there was enough on their mom’s plate of problems at the moment. 

“What if ya said you were dating?” Osamu offered. 

“HAH?! ARE YA INSANE?!” Atsumu yelled at him.

“That would explain what happened at valentine’s.” 

“But there’s nothin’ between us-”

“Yer fanclub wouldn’t really believe anythin’ else.”

“Yeah…” 

(y/n),

Can we meet when practice ends at 6 on Thursday?

M. Atsumu.

“... I’m- Is he just going to apologize then run away? Tch.” you sighed. You had the idea that Miya Atsumu was overconfident and carefree, but not to this extent. The least he could do was fix this- he had power over his fandom and what people said about him, unlike you. You had to go, it wasn’t like you really had much of a choice if you wanted to talk it out and fix it. 

“Hey, (y/n) are you and Atsumu dating?” one of your classmates asked, and a bunch of others hovered around the table, waiting to hear a response. (b/f/n) had told you rumors had spread around the entire school; you figured that would’ve happened. Any topic related to the twins spread like wildfire, especially the blonde-haired one. 

“... Can you not try to pry into my private life?” you replied, which you instantly realized was exactly a wrong answer to give. This implied that you were in fact dating Atsumu secretly, and you just made your life 10x worse. You figured you should just tell everyone what had happened, then the blame would be on (b/f/n)- it should preferably be placed on Atsumu, since he started it, really. 

When you met him at 6pm, you expected no contribution from him. Instead, you were met with a solid plan for something you weren’t really happy about, but it seemed the easiest to convince the public of a story they put out. 

“(y/n)... let’s tell them that we’re dating.”

“Hmm… well, they already think that…”

“I’m sorry… I wasn’t thinking…” “It’s fine. All we can do is move forward, I guess.”

“Yeah… ‘Samu gave me this solution; it’s all I have, I’m sorry if it’s-”

“It’s fine. Let’s go through with it. Just protect me from the crazy fangirls; that’s all I want.”

“Ya.” 

“And we’ll need to put together a coherent story; what’s yer number?” 

“Ahaha, seriously, maybe (b/f/n)’s a prophet. She told me that she was aiming for somethin’ to happen between us,” you commented, remembering what happened years and years ago. 

“Ya were just so unnecessarily worried about the fangirls,” Atsumu mentioned. 

“Oi! Yer fangirls were hella scary back then…” 

That night, you stayed up coming up with a story, which ended with the two of you breaking up so that you could go on your separate ways again. However, the story didn’t last too long, as (b/f/n)’s parent’s investigations went a little too far and spread the truth a little too much. (b/f/n) is one thing, but you had almost forgotten her parents were another, seriously. They’d been a little busy over the last few years, thus the lack of investigations of local drama, but they had been doing so for decades, what could you expect from them? 

Nothing was Atsumu’s fault to the fanclub, unless he seriously convinced them that it was. You were guilty until proven innocent. Unbeknownst to you until after, he gave them a whole (to be honest, not-so-great) speech on how he kind of went too far with the joke, but also placed the blame on everyone else for assuming things. People were absolutely ridiculous; their ideas and their insane imagination should learn that the left side of the brain exists too. 

“Funny how we met again after college, after all that time.”

“Ya… a real wonder” 

Another A/N: OMG THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR ‘TSUMU FORGIVE ME IF I WROTE HIM LIKE, WRONG IN THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

『••✎••』 Extra Info * ˚ ✦ ⇢ If you would like to read some of my other works, find them here! * ˚ ✦ ⇢ Taglist: @serowotonin​ @luna-la-ley​ // send me an ask if you would like to be added!

[tamsin-moon]

Home With You

Notes: Charles Smith x GN Reader. Warnings of capture, injuries, cursing, but overall is happy. Reader and Charles got together about two months after he joined the gang. Reader joined the gang at about the same time as Javier so is quite close with everyone. Reader got captured in Blackwater by Ike Skelding, but taken separately from Sean.

How long had you been tied up? That was the question most prominent in your mind most days. At first you had been able to keep track, but after a couple of weeks now at least, you had no idea. The memory of what had happened was as fresh in your mind as it was blurry with how much of a mess Blackwater had turned into. You know the job had started well and things were going to plan, but then as if a switch had been flipped everything was hell. You remember being with Sean when more then just the Pinkertons had shown up. You then remembered a searing pain in your side as a bullet hit you, followed by a couple men grabbing you and tying you up.

From there between the pain, adrenaline and blood loss everything had gone dark. Eventually you had woken up in a shack, still tied and gagged with your wound patched up and things gone. Angry and scared you had tried to get free, but it hadn’t worked. Eventually you learned who had you, Ike Skelding and his gang, but you did not know much more then that they were big and nasty. As days passed you would be barely fed, but kept alive and your wound cleaned up till it eventually healed. The gang debating what to do with you as the Pinketons bounty was good, but the O’Driscolls were paying for information as well. At least that is what you gathered when the men slipped up and talked around you.

Overall you had gotten thinner and weak, just wishing they would make up their minds already on what to do with you. As much as you still hoped for a rescue by your family it was looking less and less likely by the day and as much as it hurt to think about they probably thought you were dead. Your mind drifting to Charles in the end, as it always did, you would cry if you had any tears left as you once again realized you may never see him again.

Unknown to you, though, your hope for a rescue should actually be much higher as the day after Sean’s welcome home party the Irishman was going to find Arthur. Though he was quite hungover and his head was pounding it had sparked a memory in him. Just tidbits of stuff he had heard during his own capture, but if it was correct then someone needed to look into it fast. He would make sure, though, that Charles was not around as it was about you and he did not want to get his hopes up if he were to end up being wrong. Luckily it seemed the man was out of camp so when Sean found Arthur he was speaking plainly, “Hey Arthur, need to talk to ya’ about something”

At first Arthur would let out a sigh as he was settled at one of the tables and nursing his own hangover, but looking up and seeing Sean’s face he knew when the man was actually serious. Motioning for him to sit he would nod, “What is it? Can’t wait till my head stops pounding?” he asks a bit gruffly, but was rubbing a hand over his face when Sean shook his head and started speaking. “Was my own pounding head that had me remembering, when Skeldings boys had me tied up now and again I heard ‘em talking about someone else. Was busy trying to keep my own hide alive so it never really sunk in, but I heard ‘em mention grabbing the person from Blackwater. It might be Y/n.”

This would have Arthurs attention real quick and he was glad they were talking low, looking around to see most of the camp still asleep or just coming around as he did not want them overhearing such a sensitive topic. “Any idea where they are? Even if it isn’t them it needs to be looked into” he say after a moment and Sean would be scratching the side of his face, “Hoping I heard right but someplace called Widow Rock. Sounds like a spot they like to keep supplies more than folk so might be easy to search, but that’s all I really know”

It was a bit vague, but Arthur had been by the spot once, but not close enough to really see what was there. Eventually nodding he would get up, “Let’s go talk to Dutch about this.” Not even letting the man respond before he was heading for the tent in the middle of camp to do just that. Once everything was explained Dutch would be looking between the two of them, eventually nodding. “Arthur, take Lenny and go check it out. Try to keep it quiet cause we do not need to fight these boys again if it’s nothing” he instruct and it was easily agreed upon, Lenny looked the least threatening so if they were spotted it would be easier to play it off.

Sean did want to protest it had been his tip, but just being rescued himself he was not in right enough shape to really be useful. He would go and see the two off once they were ready and Lenny was in the loop, giving them both a nod before they were off, “Hope I am actually right about this” being all he said, the pair just nodding in return before turning and heading off at a trot. It would be a bit of a trip to get there and it was fairly quiet one once Lenny had asked all the questions he could think of, evening falling by the time they got into the vicinity.

Hitching their horses to a couple trees they would go the rest of the way on foot, guards up of course and soon reaching a vantage point. Looking over at what seemed to be a cabin, a few tents around and a couple wagons it actually seemed very quiet, definitely more of a supply hub. “So what’s the plan,” Lenny ask quietly once they put down their binoculars and Arthur would think, “Seems everyone is asleep or gone, you keep watch from here while I check out the cabin. If Y/n is here that’s where I’d keep a hostage. Whistle if someone starts coming to it.” It was a simple plan, really, but sometimes those worked the best and putting up his mask he would move.

Slow and steady he would keep low and to any bushes, hand ready to go to his gun, but for once things seemed to be on their side as he got to the door. Pushing inside quietly he would almost gasp as he came to the sight of you tied up on the bed, though asleep at the moment. Steadying himself he would creep close and gave your shoulder a shake, finger over his masked lips as you jolted awake, but the gag kept you from making any sound as it was. Your eyes widening as your senses came back to you, you would recognize him easily as he pulled his mask down a moment, “Just keep quiet, getting you out of here” he assure and once you nodded he was removing the gag.

From there he would cut your bonds and was returning your hug when you wrapped your arms around him tightly before you were hearing a whistle, “I got ya’, but we gotta move” he speak quietly before helping you up. Your legs wanting to give out on you as you did he pull your arm over his shoulder to keep you up. Getting back out the cabin he would have you both in the bushes as a man round the corner, but luckily he would not go inside giving you time to get back to Lenny. Hugging the younger man just as tightly as you had Arthur it would not be until you were back to the horses that you finally found your voice again, “Thank you, both of you”

It was hoarse, your throat dry from the damn rag near constantly in your mouth and never getting much to drink, but it was steady. “Just sorry we didn’t know where you were sooner” Arthur say as he help you up behind Lenny once he had mounted, “You’re safe now, let’s get back” the younger would add. Both spurring their horses into a trot once you were ready as a shout got your attention. Seemed they noticed you were gone, but you had a good enough lead they wouldn’t find you and the ride settled easily enough.

The trip back they would get you caught up on everything that had happened, who had survived, the train robbery and rescuing Sean. Letting you know it was said Irishman who got them to you as well and you would hum, “Will have to make sure to thank him” you agree before asking the question most on your mind, “How is Charles?” They had assured he was alive, but had he given up on you? Did he still want you? You were worried and Arthur would just give you a look, “He misses you, a lot, been even quieter than usual and does anything to keep himself busy” he tell you in a firm tone, all of them having been starting to worry about the man and if he was heading towards a breaking point.

As morning began to dawn again would be when the three of you were finally getting back and you could feel your heart pounding. You were eager to see everyone again of course, yet oddly nervous, so much had happened, but as you heard Javier calling out to you the happiness was winning out. Nearly falling as you slip from the saddle you were nearly tackling the surprised man in a hug, just needing the contact to know all of this wasn’t some dream. Feeling him hug you back tightly you would hear him say something in Spanish before repeating himself so you understood, “Y/n, you feel like a stick, but it is so good to see you”

Giving you a squeeze he push you along gently, though your legs were wobbly still with how weak you were, but you were determined to walk back to camp on your own, “Have Grimshaw look you over and Charles should be back tonight, think he went hunting boars on Pearsons request” he explain to you and you thank him, at least you would be able to clean up a bit then. Taking a deep breath as you head up the path with the others you could feel tears forming as you saw the wagons and everything turning into a blur as Tilly spot you first.

Your name shouted you would be pulled into different hugs and embraces before Grimshaw was getting hold of you. Being ushered into a tent she would be checking you over, fussing over every bruise and bump. Your wrists would be wrapped where the rope had rubbed them raw and any other cut would be patched up before she was letting you go, reminding you to eat slowly till your body could handle food fully again before she was hugging you tight herself. From there you would make your way to you and Charles tent, Tilly showing you where it was, and you felt your heart nearly in your throat as you enter.

Your trunk and bedroll were in a corner of it, though clearly there and taken care of, and when you open the trunk you would feel fresh tears. Inside would be a new gunbelt, looking to be trapper made, a clean knife and revolver settled inside, but it would make it clear your love had faith you would return. Moving the items carefully you would find fresh pants and a shirt to change into and for the first time in weeks you felt as clean as you could without a bath. Coming back out you would take the dirty clothes to be used for rags, they were torn up anyways and you weren’t sure if you could wear them again.

Heading to talk to Dutch and Hosea next you would tell them everything you could, though it really was not much, about what had happened to you. Both of them encouraging you to get your strength back up you thank them, eventually just settling by the main campfire and talking with any who came by. Mary-Beth bringing you water now and again along with a can of fruit to start getting you healthy. You would be sitting in front of the log, leaning against it and drifting into a nap now and again, the noise and bustle soothing over all.

Eventually evening would begin to fall again and you would have a little bit of stew. Looking up as Javier came to you once more he would be smiling, nodding towards Pearsons area, “Just saw Charles bringing stuff over there” he tell you and it had your heart clenching a moment as you look over. Getting to your feet you would not care what happened to the bowl as you made your way over, but once you were close you could not even find your voice.

Charles, meanwhile, was a bit confused. Was the camp really still in such a good mood from Sean coming back? He supposed it could be true, but yet at the same time everyone had just been giving him almost knowing looks and like they had something to say. It had him a bit frustrated as he brought over the pork, boar tusks and hides he had gathered. Honestly he had not cared why the man wanted the stuff in particular, he would take any distraction to keep his mind off of you. He did not want to forget you, no not that at all, just it hurt to think about as by now if you had not been found you were most likely dead.

He just couldn’t accept that, though, and could feel his thoughts wandering again before he realized Pearson was talking to him, “Mr. Smith I said you may want to turn around.” The cook would have that same knowing look and it had Charles arching a brow, just what was going on, but he would do as told. When he did it would be as if the world stopped, eyes widening as they fell on you, and he realized he was frozen as when a deep first sees a cougar. Had he died suddenly? He couldn’t even breathe and could feel his vision starting to go dark.

You would see him freeze and at first would stop moving yourself, but as you saw him starting to almost shake you were closing the distance. Hands cupping his cheeks quickly, “Charles? Sweetheart you need to breathe” you tell him firmly, worry beginning to build until you saw him take a breath. For him the world would seem to move again at your touch and your voice, his body reacting before his mind even could. Arms wrapping around you tightly he would be pulling you into his chest as his face buried into your shoulder, “Y/n?” It would come out almost as a whisper, but you heard it clearly.

Wrapping him tight in your arms in return you would be pressing kisses to his head, one hand coming up to run your fingers through his hair gently, “I’m here, I’m alive” you assure as you could feel him shaking and hot tears soaking into the shoulder of your shirt. Around you the others would be giving you space, but you would gently coax him over to a log in the tree line for a little privacy. You were almost surprised as he pulled you onto his lap, but would relish the closeness. His embrace what you had missed most of all and as your eyes met you could see all the emotion in them.

It matched your own in the fear and loneliness you had been feeling while captured, changing to the immense relief and happiness you felt now in his arms. Cupping his cheeks again to brush his tears away you did not miss as he leaned into your touch, asking slowly what had happened. Of course you would tell him what you remembered and then being rescued by Arthur and Lenny. The silence following a serene one as his forehead came to rest against your own, though he soon spoke, “I was just about to give up, when we found Sean and not you it was another blow and it seemed hopeless” he admit and it just had you softening.

You could understand, though, you had heard about them losing a bounty when it had happened. They had been so mad and it was where some of your recent bruises were from, but you would just lean in and kiss him slowly. Assuring you both you were together again, “I’m here, I am home.” Being all you said before his lips were on yours again in a deeper kiss, his hands finding your waist to pull you closer. You would feel him pause, though, breaking the kiss as he looked at you closely. He could see the thinness of your face and it had his worry spiking.

“I will get you healthy again” he say, his tone serious and it would have a chuckle coming from your lips, the first in so long. You would kiss his nose lightly, “I am sure you will and I am not going anywhere” you promise in return before he was wrapping you in his arms again. You could hear Javier begin to play his guitar, the others getting louder as they were celebrating another good thing, but right now you just stayed where you were, relishing the embrace of your love. You were home.

[keanureevesisbae]

Protection Chapter 6

Summary: Mia and August are in the safehouse, but Mia has a plan, since she really doesn’t want to be here. 

August Walker x Mia Makaruku (ofc)

Wordcount: 5.4k

Warnings: Mentions of stabbing and guns.

Masterlist // Protection Masterlist // Previous Chapter

1 hour at the safe house

After the three hour drive, August and I arrive at this safe house. It’s the middle of the night and normally I’m in a deep and nice sleep, spooning Bobo and dreaming about some sort of male celebrity to ease my mind. That is not the case now, despite my brain being dog tired, but it’s also running over time.

The safe house is like every ordinary house, but maybe that is exactly what we need. We need to fit in with the rest of the world, not sticking out like sore thumbs.

Bobo is already acclimated to the place, curling himself up on the sofa, purring loudly as he is about to drift off to sleep.

Me on the other hand, can’t relax for shit. I’m pacing (no, not pacing, limping) through the living room, desperately hoping to remember something. It doesn’t matter what. Maybe something about my family, something that is a dead give away I’m not part of this weird family who had access to the safe. Maybe something about what happened between the crash and me sitting on the curb, holding my arm as I was waiting for help.

Or something that would get me out of this place.

August was my safe haven for the drive here, but I don’t know what to think of him. Do I believe him when he says he’ll protect me? Yes, especially what happened to me on the parking lot.

Do I trust him?

I have no idea…

Is he soft and kind to me?

Yes.

And is that everything I need for now?

I hate to admit it, but yes…

I let out a deep sigh. While I keep on wishing I need to be with someone who I feel safe with, it’s brutally obvious that… August is the only one who can both protect me and make me feel safe. I think about his strong arms wrapped around my body, my forehead resting against his chest and him allowing me to hold his hand. I know that’s not what he wants, or at least, what he would initiate, but he lets me. He lets me hold him, lean on him and cry on him.

And that sure means something right? He understands and gives in to my needs.

I turn on my foot, but since my brain is nearly frying itself, I forget this one hurts. I wince and sit on the floor, holding my ankle tightly. Tears trickle down my cheeks, without me actually crying.

I just want to go home, to my own psychical therapist who could help me out. I need normalcy back in my life.  

‘What are you doing?’

My head jerks up, to discover August standing near the kitchen, leaning against the wall. The softness I felt during the way here, it disappeared. Maybe because I wasn’t responding well to it, or because I was responding to it a bit too much. I have been a snotty and hopeless mess since early Monday morning, when I found out about the file.

‘I was pacing.’

He walks into the living room and stops in front of me. ‘You need to be careful.’

‘Well spotted. I can see the CIA training taught you well.’

August sighs. ‘I think you need a new gauge on it.’ He holds out his hand and with a groan I take it. He pulls me up, but when I’m standing, his arm glides underneath my knees and back, carrying me to the kitchen. He does it so effortlessly and without a thought. Maybe that softness is still there. Maybe he does care. He places me on the counter and takes off my shoe.

‘That hurts,’ I hisses.

‘I know,’ he says. He opens a few cabinets, but doesn’t see what he was looking for. ‘Wait here.’

He wanders out of the kitchen and comes back with my mug. The one with the flowers. The one I left at his place. He fills it with water and holds it in front of me, together with a strip of painkillers. ‘Did you bring this with you?’ I ask him, as I wrap my fingers around the mug.

He nods.

‘Why?’

‘Because it’s home and I figured you could need it.’ He ushers me to take the painkiller and I do what he asks me to do. I lean back, with my head against the cabinet doors. He grabs a dusty barstool and places my foot on his lap.

‘August,’ I whisper.

‘Yes?’

‘I don’t hate you.’

He looks up. ‘I know.’

‘I’m just scared.’

‘I know that too.’ He takes off my sock and bandage and checks my ankle, that is swelling and turning red. ‘I think I need to provide you with a brace. Or do you have one with you?’

I shake my head. ‘I left it at home, I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t apologize,’ he snaps and I tense up. Just because he isn’t apologizing, he all of the sudden has this personal vendetta against me doing it. ‘I’ll try and arrange something. For now a new bandage will do.’

While he prepares the new bandages, I carefully place my hand on his cheek as I lean forward. He lets it happen and maybe I’m totally hallucinating, but I think he is leaning against my hand. ‘You sure you’ll protect me?’

‘I will,’ he answers in a dead serious tone.

‘Even Bobo?’

August looks up and bites back a smile. ‘Especially Bobo.’

5 hours at the safe house

I’m back at the crime scene, but this time I’m not a young girl anymore. I’m the me of today. I walk around the car wreck, spotting the limb bodies of other me’s family. I notice a young girl sitting on the curb. Me on the curb. Clutching my arm and simply staring at the wreck, as someone without a recognizable face drags away the body of a teenage boy, while another man drags away the body of a man.

They look deceased, but as of right now, they could be unconscious.

A woman, who is just as unidentifiable as the other men, crouches down in front of me. ‘Vanaf nu, is jouw naam Mia,’ she tells me. From now on, your name is Mia.

The young girl—me—shakes her head. ‘Nee, dat ben ik niet.’ No, I’m not.

‘Jawel, luister goed. Als iemand er naar vraag, jij heet Mia. Mia Makaruku. M-A-K-A-R-U-K-U.’ Yes, listen carefully. If someone asks, you’re Mia. Mia Makaruku. M-A-K-A-R-U-K-U.’

With a jolt I’m wide awake. I look around me, expecting to find Bobo for some emotional support, but he is not here. I could use a hug, to be honest and Bobo is the one that I wished was right here to hug me. I slip on some warm socks and get out of my bed. No, the bed in the safe house. It’s not mine. It smells musty. My bed always smells like lavender.

‘Bobo,’ I whisper shout, ‘where are you?’

I see August’s door is opened ajar and I peek inside, only to see Bobo curled up on the windowsill, while August isn’t asleep. He looks up and flicks on his light. ‘What’s wrong?’

I want to make a stupid remark about Bobo sleeping here and how they are becoming close buddies and how it should make me jealous, but it can’t seem to leave my lips. I simply lean against the doorframe and fumble with my shirt.

‘Mia, what’s up?’

‘I had a memory,’ I whisper, but it’s loud enough for him to hear. I close the door and I walk over to his bed. I sit on the edge, staring at Bobo, who is still asleep and doesn’t really care I walked in. Looks like I’m traded in for. Nice to know that my lovely cat will trade me for someone with testosterone. ‘My name is not Mia Makaruku.’ I tell him what the memory is about. I don’t feel tears coming up, but to be fair, I have cried for hours on end.

August sits up straight next to be on the edge. ‘You know what your real name is?’

I shake my head. ‘That was all I wanted to tell you.’ I want to stand up again, but August grabs my wrist and forces me on his bed again. ‘What?’

‘I know it’s hard.’

‘How?’ I ask him. ‘Because this all happened to you when you were younger? Did you have a promising career, that was put on hold because someone swooped into your life and all of the sudden you realize you are not who you think you are?’

He doesn’t say anything, but I simply pull my wrist out of his grasp, grab Bobo and march back into my room.

1 day at the safe house

I came to the conclusion that in no way, I can stay here in this safe house.

August is keeping a close eye on me and I have to tell him what I’m going to do every single time I leave the room. Even when I just need to pee! This whole situation is suffocating me. I wished he would just be a bit more relaxed, less controlling and just back the fuck off.

Ever since I had my first memory, I have been thinking about it, nearly giving myself a painful headache. But I don’t remember anything.

When I was wandering through the house, I confiscated a letter opener, to use it as some sort of weapon. Who knows if I might need it one day. And that one day might come sooner than I think.

I’m sitting in the living room, as the blinds are closed, leaving us with the lights on, in the middle of the day. I can barely sit anymore, so I walk towards a wall and do a handstand against it. I hear some bones in my shoulders crack.

For a top athlete, going from intense training to nothing, it’s unhealthy. I read about those people who get heart attacks after they retire and get a heart attack within the first week of doing nothing, after a very intensive job for forty years.

While I’m not suspecting a heart attack anytime soon and I shouldn’t compare this situation to retirement, I’m keeping it in mind.

Is it your left arm that starts to hurt when you have a nearing heart attack?

‘What are you doing?’

I roll my eyes, but he doesn’t see that. ‘I would swear you’re blind,’ I say, as I get back on my feet. ‘I was bowling, you happy now?’

August doesn’t say anything. He simply walks over to the couch and sits on my spot. Man spreading is tame in comparison with what he is doing. I think it’s a good thing this man wears pants, because I could’ve looked right up his ass and do an internal examination, without trying.

That’s quite the picture, Mia… What are you doing to yourself?

I turn around and let out a gasp when the doorbell rings three times very short. August stands up and ushers me to come over. I don’t understand why, but he looks pissed and I better listen to him. I limp towards him and he pushes me behind him. When he opens the door, he simply takes the package after signing for it and closes the door. ‘What was that about?’

‘Better be safe than sorry.’ He opens the package without using scissors (which is weird, because I would’ve needed a scissor or a knife to open it, but to each their own) and hands me my new ankle brace.

‘Oh,’ I say, when I see he actually arranged a real good one. Maybe he cares in his weird way… ‘Thanks.’

He doesn’t say anything about it. ‘I’ll start lunch.’

3 days at the safe house

It has been two days since I found the letter opener and I don’t think he suspects a thing. The hours pass by without a mishap. I let him check my ankle twice a day, I try to get him to like Bobo (no success so far and that’s all on August) and we watch the stars every night, since that’s the only time he lets me out of the house.

Pretending I made peace with the situation, gave me enough opportunities to plan my escape. Even when he made me a hot water bottle the other night because I was shivering, even when he suggested to cut the onions, so I wouldn’t get teary eyed and that time when he carried me to bed.

Even when he makes me feel like no one else made me before, I cannot stay here. I have read the files, I have seen where he hides our passports, I know where he hides his guns. I can escape.

Especially now, since I don’t want him near me anymore.

The only way I can actually lock him up, is by luring him into the basement and that sounds painfully scary, I admit, but I have to try. I’d rather die trying, than give up and sit here like I’ve given up on life.

I have to leave him.

Everything is all set and done in my bedroom, ready for me to leave. If I can’t hide it in my room (the car keys, the file or the passports and of course his guns) I know exactly where to find it.

I’m standing in some tight black leggings and a cropped sweater in the basement, trying to find something on the top shelve I could desperately need and I can’t reach. Pasta sauce? That seems like something I could use.

I have made some food in these past couple of days and I have yet to make some pasta. It sounds like me to try something new.

Normally I wouldn’t wear something that accentuates my ass this much, but I have to distract him some way, so maybe this’ll do. I don’t know, I have never done this before. Sure, I’ve kissed, but never anything further than that. Being a professional athlete, you barely have time to date.

Or that’s just me, I don’t know. Other girls seemed to find time to date…

My heart is pounding painfully fast in my chest. You can say about August Walker whatever you want, but that man looks terrifyingly experienced. He seems like the type of man who can rip you apart and you’d beg him to do so again.

It’s now or never, Mia.

‘August!’ I yell.

It takes a second before he answers. ‘Yes?’

‘Can you help me out?’

Asking him for something, is the way to his heart.

I hear his descending footsteps and I turn around, to see him approaching me. ‘Can you reach the pasta sauce for me?’ I ask. ‘I wanted to make pasta tonight.’

August simply nods and stretches himself to grab the package from the top shelf. ‘Anything else?’

I bite my lip, before shaking my head.

‘There is something on your mind,’ he says. ‘What is it?’

This man reads me like a book. I hate it. ‘Nothing, it’s silly, really.’ That and I might chicken out right now. Maybe this isn’t such a fantastic well thought out plan, though I thought about it non stop for the past forty eight hours.

But, am I seeing this correctly? Is he smiling? ‘Tell me this then: why are you wearing this?’

Oh shit, he is too good. Fuck, I just blew my cover, simply because it’s too much. ‘What?’

August places his large hand in the dip of my waist, his fingers touching my bare skin. ‘You never wear this.’

I clear my throat. Now is not a good time for that heart attack you were thinking about a two days ago, I tell myself. ‘Oh, I…’

‘Come on,’ he whispers, ‘you can tell me.’

I swallow hard, all of the sudden not so sure about this anymore. I shouldn’t let him intimidate me, but it sure does. It might have to do with this authoritarian lining I hear in his deep voice.

‘Tell me,’ he says, ‘did you plan this?’

I finally find my voice again, yet it’s not a very secure one. ‘Maybe,’ I whisper shakily.

‘Why?’

‘It’s you, really,’ I say and that is not a total lie. I mean, I have seen him pretty up close these passed few days. And since I’m a functioning human being with a heart beat and certain—slightly nasty—dreams about him…  It seems reasonable to be planning this, right?

August nods, before lifting me on the empty table I wished in my initial plan he would place me. ‘If I start, Mia, I don’t think I can stop.’

‘I don’t want you to stop,’ I whimper, already completely at his mercy.

I curse myself.

He chuckles and bites his bottom lip, his eyes turning a few shades darker. He takes off his shirt, revealing his strong and broad chest, covered with chest hair that I only saw glimpses of.

Am I sure I can do this? Am I sure I can do what I plan to do?

‘What?’ I ask him.

‘You look like a deer caught in the headlights, Mia.’

‘Oh,’ I gasp, which is a dead giveaway that I am indeed a deer caught in the headlights.

His strong hands force my legs open. ‘It’s a good thing I sometimes find you adorable.’

Now I’m actually offended. ‘Why only sometimes?’

He smiles. ‘Maybe always.’

I shouldn’t do this, I think to myself. I feel sorry for him now, he looks so approachable and finally he shows me who he is deep down. The August Walker that I knew was in there, hidden by the walls he has built. The August Walker I saw glimpses of since the day I met him. Okay, maybe not since the day I met him, but since we went to that basketball game.

I place my hands on his broad chest and let my nails drag over his skin. August bridges the space between us and the second our lips touch and his tongue enters my mouth, I hook my feet together behind his hips.

The way this man kisses… I have never been kissed like this. Never have I ever been so overpowered, so dominated.

I’m getting too sucked into this moment, that for a second I forget my plan. He buries his face in my neck, his tongue running over the delicate skin. I bite my lip to keep my moans in, but somehow one escapes.

‘Such a needy little girl,’ he grunts in my nape, before going out of his way to leave his marks on me.

When he kisses my lips again, he seems distracted enough, I think to myself. My hand goes underneath the edge of the table, where I taped the letter opener…

But I can’t find it.

‘You were looking for this?’ he asks when he pulls back. His fingers twirl the letter opener around.

Oh fuck, I screwed up big time.

‘I admire you thought about this,’ he says, ‘but I’m not a total idiot.’ He lets the sharp tip drag over my cheek, causing me to pull back.

‘You knew?’

‘Of course I knew,’ he chuckles. ‘I’m a CIA agent, I notice everything you do. I’m trained to do such thing.’ He pulls back completely and I let out a groan. While he puts the letter opener in the back pocket of his pants, he grabs his shirt from the floor. ‘Shame, Mia, that I can read you like a book, but yet again… I appreciate the effort.’

He turns around with a cocky grin and I clench my jaw. What an asshole. I look around me and see a block of wood next to the table. I jump off the table, grab the wood and rush towards him. I am not giving up, because if I did so, I wouldn’t have become the soccer player I am today.

I was, I mean, because I’ve come to the realization those soccer playing times might be over.

August must’ve heard me (he is a CIA agent after all), but I’m mid swing already and the edge of the block hits him on his temple. I watch as the enormous man falls like a bag of potatoes and I stare at his limp body on the floor.

Did I just kill him?

Before I jump over him to go up the stairs, I quickly check his pulse in his neck. Okay, there is a heartbeat. I climb up the stairs and lock the door.

It’s game time.

I rush to my room, grab my coat and the carriage for Bobo. I figured I would bring him to a shelter, before I would get on the plane, because I’m not leaving my precious orange cat in a safe house with August Walker.

Within record time I have got my bag ready, the file and I grabbed the fake Indonesian passport I need. ‘Come on, Bobo,’ I try to coax him and the dumb ass actually goes into the cage.

‘Mia, don’t fucking do this,’ I hear August yell, as he is trying to force the door open.

Okay, it’s quite a relief to know he really wasn’t dead.

I grab the car keys and when I walk passed his room, my eyes fall on his weapon holster. The one last thing I need. I grab his gun and though I have zero idea on how to use it, I can just do what they do in movies.

Just pull the trigger, right?

I grab the carriage with Bobo, only to hear August breaking out from the basement. The door collapses in front of me and I see his eyes are dark, but not filled with lust like they were a few moments ago.

Filled with absolute rage.

‘Don’t even fucking think about it,’ he growls.

Before I even think, I grab the gun out of the bag and point it to him. My hands are shaking. ‘Let me go,’ I say.

‘Mia, I can’t let you go.’

‘I don’t want the CIA to help me,’ I tell him, as tears run over my cheeks. Way to make your point, Mia. ‘I just want my normal life back.’

‘You can’t and you know that.’

I do know that. ‘I want to find answers on my own,’ I continue, ‘and on my own, doesn’t involve you. I hate you, August Walker, I fucking hate you.’

I can see it in his eyes, that he tells himself that it’s not true and it’s not true. I don’t hate him, I just need to get out of here. He clenches his jaw. ‘Give me the gun, Mia.’

I shake my head. ‘No. Step aside or I’ll shoot.’

Even I’m not convinced…

August walks up to me and places his hand on the barrel, pulling the gun against his chest. ‘Do it then.’

My finger is on the trigger, but… I’m too weak to shoot him. I hand him the gun, before hiding my face into my hands. I lean with my back against the wall. This is so embarrassing. Why on earth did I think I could escape?

I hear August opening the door of the carriage, followed by the soft steps of Bobo.

‘Talk to me, Mia,’ he says, causing me to look up. When our eyes meet, he isn’t mad. He looks so disappointed. but I’m not sure if he’s disappointed in me or himself for letting this happen.

I take a deep breath. I don’t know what to say about this situation. ‘How is your head?’ I ask him, noticing some blood running over the side of his face.

‘It’s okay.’

I simply take his hand and drag him with me to the kitchen. He sits on a lower stool, so I can actually reach his face, without having to wear pointe shoes. I see a small cut on his temple, the source of the stream of blood and I grab the kit he used on me so many times. ‘I’m sorry,’ I say in a soft tone. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking.’

‘Don’t apologize.’

‘But I have to, August. I hurt you.’ I clean the wound, before grabbing the special bandages to pull wounds like this back together.

He sighs deeply. ‘You did what you thought was best. I can’t argue with that.’ His tone is low, raspy, but also soft.

He doesn’t sound angry at all, while I expect him to be. I mean, I kinda wanted to stab him.

‘It’s just that I… I just want to get out of here.’

August nods. ‘I know that and we will go. Eventually.’ When our eyes meet again, I see the hurt. Fuck, I hurt him so badly. Guilt washes over me and there are a million things I could say to him. But he doesn’t let me. ‘Don’t beat yourself up over this.’

He can indeed read me like a fucking book and I should hate that. But I’m actually quite relieved as of now.

‘I’m not beating myself up.’

‘You are.’

I push back some of his hairs, my fingertips running over his scalp. He melts against the touch and shuts his eyes, letting out a deep sigh.

‘I won’t escape anymore,’ I whisper.

‘I know.’

‘It’s… I don’t know what possessed me. I mean… I hit you in the head quite hard.’

He shakes his head. ‘Don’t you worry about it. Besides, I’m actually pretty relieved. I now know you can defend yourself properly.’

‘Properly?’ I can’t help but chuckle and I see a tiny smile form on his lips. ‘Don’t over exaggerate. August, I just… I feel so useless here. I don’t remember a lot of stuff. I just sit here and wait. I haven’t done that in a long time.’

He nods. ‘You are not useless.’

‘I need to do something with my time. It’s awful sitting here, with you breathing down my neck.’

He smiles. ‘How about I teach you some basic self defense tips?’

‘Please,’ I say. ‘Honestly, you could ask me to do some embroidery and I would take it.’

He places a hand on my back and actually forces me to sit on his thighs. My eyes enlarge, causing him to chuckle. ‘I meant what I said in there,��� he says. ‘Both the deer caught in the headlights part and the needy little girl part.’

Yeah, I just want to disappear and I wished that could be arranged. ‘Could we maybe not mention that. Like, ever again? I’d like to maintain some form of dignity.’

His lips graze over my cheeks. ‘Had I not found the letter opener,’ he whispers, ‘how far would you let me go?’

‘Not far. I was gonna stab you, August,’ I chuckle, but it’s a nervous one, since I can hardly focus as I sit on his thick thighs. ‘Why?’

‘Because something tells me… You’ve never done that before.’

That can’t be good. I feel like my self confidence just disappeared into thin air. ‘Was it that bad?’

‘No, no, no!’ he quickly says. ‘It’s just that your heart rate was out of the roof and… You seemed nervous.’

‘I kinda was. But mostly because I needed to stab you.’

‘Liar.’

‘I’m not a liar.’

‘You are,’ he says, before placing a kiss on my cheekbone. It’s so soft and tender, almost a full 180 of that kiss he gave me in the basement, a place I will never go back to again, because I’ll probably die of shame. ‘And that’s okay.’

I want to say something, but then I hear a loud meow and August growling. ‘Stupid cat, stop doing that!’

‘The attack thing on your leg?’ I ask him.

‘Yes, what a stupid idiot.’

‘Hey, don’t talk to him like that!’ I look over and see Bobo peeking around the corner of the kitchen island. ‘I can’t believe I genuinely thought I could take Bobo with me on my little adventure.’

August pulls me closer to him. ‘It shows your character, Mia.’

I meet his eyes again. ‘You’re not mad at me anymore?’

‘I haven’t been mad at you. I know you don’t want to stay here and that is a mutual feeling. I just have to know I can guarantee your safety.’

I nod. ‘When do you think we can leave?’

‘Next week somewhere?’

‘Is it allowed for me to get wasted or am I bringing the operation in danger if I do so?’

He smiles. ‘One drink, that’s the best I can do.’

I don’t want to do it, but I press my lips against his. A quick peck, nothing compared to the kiss earlier. But it’s all I can do right now. ‘Can we start now?’

5 days at the safe house

‘What’s that?’ I ask August, when he places a box on the table.

Ever since my little escape debacle (I let August swear never to mention it again and so far he lips were sealed), time doesn’t go by as slowly and August actually trusts me now. I don’t have justify myself for every step I take. He teaches me some self defense, but I’m a very slow learner and he tries to be patient, but really isn’t.

It’s nice being around August, especially when he tries to be nice to Bobo.

He is just a bit uneasy around the cat.

‘It’s for you,’ he says, not making eye contact.

‘It’s not even my birthday,’ I say.

August simply shrugs. ‘I can give you gifts, right?’

‘I mean, if you want, you won’t hear me complaining. I love gifts.’ I grab the box and pull it closer to me. It’s not really tightly closed, so I can easily open it. I peek inside, only to discover a…

A soccer ball?

‘Are you serious?’ I ask him. ‘Why?’

‘Because I know you miss soccer,’ he tells me. ‘I know I can’t bring back full stadiums, screaming fans and a better opponent, but this is the least I can do. Just remember: take good care of your foot.’

‘Of course, of course.’ A smile appears on my face and I take it out of the box, balancing the ball on my hand. Memories flash through my mind. My first soccer ball, the first goal I made in amateur soccer, after that professional soccer.

I walk around the table and I give him a kiss on his cheek. Ever since kissing one another after the basement event, we didn’t do that anymore. But now feels like an appropriate time to do so? Maybe not, but it’s happening now.

I can’t go back now.

‘Since I can’t use my foot, you want to throw it with me?’

‘Of course,’ he says. However, before we can start, I sense he wants to say something to me. I wait, but he shakes it off. ‘Never mind. Let me move the couch, so we have more room.’

10 days at the safe house

I am in a deep sleep, when I hear some rumbling sounds in the background. I open my eyes, but I figure out it’s one of August’s nightly escapades. He does that quite often in the middle of the night. Just wandering around, moving around some things and sometimes I even hear him exercising. I wonder if he ever sleeps.

Not me though, when it’s dark outside, I’m sleeping.

I turn around and try to drift off in a nice sleep again, hoping to go back to that lovely dream again, but then my door opens. I jolt awake, when August enters my room. ‘Easy now,’ August says. ‘You’re coming with me.’

‘What’s happening?’

‘I got your clothes, your stuff, everything. Even your creepy cat worked with me and got in his carriage.’ He hands me a thick sweater and helps me in it. My head is still a bit drowsy and my body barely works. August lifts me up and I place my head against his shoulder.

‘I can walk,’ I mumble.

‘I know, but you’re sleepy,’ he whispers. ‘Besides, I don’t mind.’

That shouldn’t make me smile as much as it does.

He carries me to the car and places me in the passengers seat. He starts the car and with an illegal speed he drives off. I look over my shoulder, to see Bobo in the carriage.

‘What’s happening, August?’ I ask him. ‘Why are we leaving?’

‘We might’ve been found,’ he says, his eyes not leaving the road.

I nod. I grab his hand from the steering wheel and I hold it in both of mine. ‘I trust you,’ I whisper. ‘I really do.’

[jasmehraj]

Timari out-sick au                                               

Marinette came to Gotham heart-broken. Her best friend, her first crush, her partner knows nothing about her. Nothing. Gabriel hit him hard on the head causing him to lose memory of last 4 years. She then punched Gabriel so hard the battle didn't last long. She was there when he woke up.

"Chaton you are awake?"

"Father? .....Who are you? Where is father and mother?"

She ran away from him and packed her bags. She ended up in Gotham. She did some research on Gotham's vigilantes. She was clearly impressed by Red Robin. He is very smart, analyzed every moment, very powerful and definitely handsome. He is her age and she is sure that he is handsome, there's no way he isn't and he is a coffee addict just like her.

In short she had a crush on him. She started going out as Rouge Gorge. Sometimes she shadowed the vigilantes and sometimes she went out alone. She disguised herself with Trixx's illusions. They all could sense her somehow and Red Robin always looks straight to her direction.

That is why she ended up in this situation. She went out a little earlier than usual. The bats had yet to come. She was running on the rooftops alone when she saw him. A completely sleep deprived man with many coffee cups in his hands. He probably wasn't aware of the people following him, probably muggers. She jumped into action as for some reason he turned to an alleyway. She took care of the two muggers. Where did the third one go? She turned to see the man had pinned the mugger. Subconsciously, without thinking, her stupid mouth said,"R..red robin?"

"So you are the shadow following us?"Well shit. He just confirmed it.

He took a coffee cup and chugged down a whole cup! Then he started coughing. Aaah he is falling. She caught him just in time. What should I do? What should I do?

She made the worst decision of her life. She took him to her apartment.

That's her story. Now she is sitting beside her crush who is laying on her bed, still unconscious. She took the cup he drank and smelled it. It smelled like, like BRANDY? What the hell?

That means he drank a whole cup of very strong alcohol even when he had probably never drank it in this much amount ALL HIS LIFE.

He suddenly woke up and asked her for bathroom. She led him quickly and he threw up. He is probably not aware of his surroundings. That is bad. He rinsed his mouth and she took him back to bed. He was very hot like literally very hot. He has high fever, vomiting..-I'll just check the internet. She then took some water and a cloth. She put the wet cloth on his forehead. He woke up an hour later.

"Shadow?"

"No I am not a shadow. I am Marinette."

"So your vigilant name is Marinette. Its very beautiful name." She felt her face heat up.

"No its Rouge Gorge."

"That's very nice too darling."

She huffed, her red cheeks betraying her,"Thank you."

"Its Ok love."

"Stop doing that."

"Doing what?" He looked like an innocent child. Like he doesn't know anything. Why the hell is he tilting his head at his side. That asshole is smirking.

She groaned,"Calling me these names..?"

"Well darling, are you not the same person who named yourself after me?" Now as if she could get any more red.

"Well that doesn't give a reason to call me those names."

He pretended to think," Well you are beautiful."

She turned away and ran out of there after yelling,"Message your friends, family or something. This conversation is going no where."

When she came back he was sleeping. She sighed in relief. Her cheeks were still red. Maybe taking her drunk crush inside her home wasn't that good idea.

________________________________________________________________________________

Tim slowly opened his eyes. He looked at his surroundings. He was in a bed and the room was unfamiliar. When did he get here? He remembers that while going home he was attacked and the shadow? He took a small knife from his inside pocket. He slowly got out of the bed without making a noise. He made his way towards the door where music was playing.

He slowly opened it to reveal a midnight hair girl working with some kind of..........clothes?

"Who are you and where am I?" She was startled and let out a slow 'ouch'. She put her finger in her mouth.

"You don't remember?"

".........No?"

"I am the shadow as you say. Let me finish. I was out when I saw you getting mugged. I went to help you. You told me you are Red Robin.-"

"I told you?"

"I just said Red Robin and you said Oh so you are the shadow. You drank very strong brandy which was in your coffee. How the hell did you manage to get Brandy in a coffee cup."

He groaned and said,"Jasoooooon....."

"So I didn't know where to take you so I took you to my home...... You were drunk. And.....-"

"And-" He raised an eyebrow.

"Well I told you that my name was Rouge Gorge you started flirting with me. I took care of you. Now you can go back wherever you live. You were sleeping from past 16 hours."

She was not looking at him. She was stitching? He leaned closer to see she was stitching MDC on a skirt.

He processed everything. She is MDC who is also the shadow and her name is Rouge Gorge which means, Red Robin. He flirted with her. SHE IS MDC. SHE IS MDC.

Now his whole face was red. This was the most embarrassing thing he had ever been in. He is going to kill Jason for this.

Just then the doorbell rang. That broke her out of her stupor. He was frozen on his place. He heard voices suspiciously like his family and ran to the door.

Dick was squealing,"Timmy got so cute girlfriend. She is so cute."

Jason laughed,"We are not sure that he didn't kidnap her. She is too good for him."

Damian,"Tt Why did you inbeciles dragged me here?"

Cass just said,"I approve."

Stephanie said,"He never mentioned you before, you are so cute and tiny. Speaking of him where is he?"

Poor Marinette was stuck between them as they asked questions after questions. Then their gaze turned to Tim.

"Oh god, where are your bags Tim? How is this possible? How are you not half-dead. You must be magic you got him to sleep."

"Timmy you were with her, for how long?"

"You got a girlfriend replacement? She is too good for you give her to me."

All the voices were mixing with each other.

"What makes you think she is um.. my girlfriend?"

"You messaged us."

He opened his phone and read the Message.

I, Timothy Drake-Wayne the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, am staying with my girlfriend Marinette. Don't you dare to come here.

What could he possibly say. Suddenly he remembered the MDC signature. He looked at her and said,"You are MDC?" pointing at her.

"Umm, yess." Her voice was barely audible.

He took her hand and sat on one knee,"Marry me."

"What we are not even dating."

"Will you go on a date with me?"

"I.... I guess?"

The silence was broken by Dick,"You are MDC."

"You were not dating?"

"Tt you are so dramatic."

"Replacement what is the meaning of this?"

Tim turned to Jason and said,"Thank you Jason."

With that he went out the door,"Be ready till 3 Marinette."

BONUS:

Louis : So how did you two met?

Tim: My brother put brandy in my coffee cup. She took care of me and when I get to know she was my favorite designer and how amazing she is....

Clark: And?

Marinette: He asked me to marry him, I said we are not even dating so he asked me for a date.

Louis :..............................................

Clark:...............................................

Cameraman:.....................................

Batfamily: (Laughing)

Louis: We give you our blessing for your wedding.

Clark: God bless you.

[tuttifuckinfruttifriday]

Dead memories and apologies

part 1 here

Pairings: The Voorhees family, Jason Voorhees x MJ(main), OC x MJ

Warnings: mention of violence, blood and wounds, some angst

Note:This might be smaller than the first part(not sure), but I still hope you like it!

Ik it's getting annoying, but: Don't hesitate to tell me if I did any mistakes, it would be greatly appreciated since my first language isn't english!

Small recap:

He only stopped when he saw the familiar coat wearing figure coming towards the cabin, their long dark hair up in it's usual bun...

Eric.

**

Jason walked towards the man, his nostrils flaring and his mind back to the time when he almost killed the guy. He finally had a reason to do what he almost did that day, and he wasn’t going to waist it, that’s what he was telling himself that is. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Eric, who saw Jason furiously coming his way, knew that his explanation and apology to what he hope was still his friend needed to wait. Right now, he had to survive the rage of her husband.

—

When MJ and the kids had finished eating, the woman decided to finally go look for her husband, worry making her stomach twist. Her thoughts were clouded after she realized that it might not have been a good idea to tell him that she got fired by Eric specifically. She didn’t want anything bad happening to two of the people she cares about. Yes, even if he did fire her and broke a piece of her heart with it, she still considered him a great friend and was sure that if she saw him ever again, he would probably have a good reason as to why he did. Eating a little something before cleaning up the kitchen, she puts on a light jacket on and walked outside with her survival kit her husband gave her at her belt. The sun was starting to go down, so she kept her flashlight in her hand as she walked around the cabin, the sound of the leaves moving with the wind hiding her footsteps to the forest's animals.

She walked faster when she heard a distant voice further away. She couldn't make out what it said, but it sure seemed like they were arguing or pleading with someone, which didn't help MJ's worrying. Clicking the button of her flashlight, goosebumps traveled her skin when she discovered the voice being Eric's. Her mind couldn't register what was being said as she almost ran towards what she could now distinguish as the figures of Jason and him. She needed to stop them from killing each other, but she couldn't get in-between them... so it's pretty difficult to do something about it. A sigh left her when she saw her friend's back towards her, his now soft voice making her look towards the towering figure of her husband before him. He fortunately didn't seem to have seen nor heard her, listening carefully to Eric as he talked gently to him, like he was trying to calm a mad animal, which was probably the case earlier. MJ's pale eyes looked over his tense figure as a part of her was frightened for her friend, seeing her husband's grip on his famous weapon tighten.

When she unfortunately took a step forward to hear better, she accidentally stepped on a branch, making it break and making the two men look towards her. A gasp escaped MJ once she saw Eric's face, a big gash going from under his right eye to his bearded chin adorning his scarred face. The two froze when they realized she was there. Surprising her as they stared at each others for some time, Eric made a small, gentle movement with his hand for her to come closer, making the woman step towards them. Her eyes moved towards his bleeding wound and her husband, making the latter look down a bit. ''MJ.. You weren't supposed to be there....'' His sheepish look made her frown, until she remembered why she was there. Feeling a bit of confidence, she asked without turning around the bush since she didn't know what to say. ''Guys... could you not kill each other, please?? I don't want any of you hurt..'' Surprisingly enough, Jason's posture changed once he saw his wife, his shoulders slacking and his posture relaxing a bit, he even looked a bit guilty if you looked close enough.

Some seconds later, Eric almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a nudge against his shoulder, Jason's intimidating gaze telling him something MJ didn't know about. With a sigh and a bit of fidgeting, the dark haired man looked at the woman he hoped he could still call his friend. ''MJ... About why I fired you, it's just because I know you and know it's a lot of stress put on your shoulder, especially when that mistake happened some days ago. I know you blamed yourself for it and saw how much it didn't help your mental health at all... And I don't want you to feel bad because of that, because I seriously care too much about you, even if we don't see each other that much. '' He paused and looked down a bit, feeling her husband gaze on him with her confused one. Strangely, MJ didn't feel that bad nor the need to cry about it, totally understanding his reasoning and even getting heart warmed by what he just said. She could only stare for a while as she waited for him to continue talking, her mouth closing and opening as she tried to find words.

With a sigh, he continued. ''I'm sorry... I seriously hope we're still friends-'' The almost muttered last part made her frown and hug him tightly, surprise him, herself and her husband. The tension in the air softened and you could clearly feel that the situation was better than what happened earlier. Thoughts were racing through MJ's head, a small but sad and a bit tense smile on her face before she let go of her flustered friend, her smile softening once she sees his wound again. ''It... It's okay... Let's just forget about it. '' Before anybody could say anything after, she continued. ''You're coming back to the cabin with us, though. I'm not letting you out of my sight with that gash on your face, knowing it could get infected. '' With a small chuckle to ease the tension, she walked beside her slowly calming husband, noticing blood on his knuckles and a gash near his shoulder blade. Guess she would play the nurse for the night. Even if a small morbid part of her wanted badly to know what happened, she stopped herself and thought about what could have happened if Eric wasn't so level-headed...

Sensing his wife's mood change, Jason, still feeling a bit guilty for letting his feelings get the best of him and possesive, squeezed her shoulder softly, making her put her smaller hand in his bruised one with a loving smile.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

the unseen one - 25

 Pairing: Hades!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: y/n and bucky fight

A/N: ik braid sewing was way more popular in roman culture than in greek one but i personally love it and it’s probably the one way i can get my hair to stay put whenever i go on a run. hope you enjoy xx

Next Chapter

Y/N was homesick. 

Ever since the dinner all she could think about was the mortal realm, the sounds of rain hitting the glass of her window as she cuddled under her large duvet, her old kettle steaming from the hob, Anne’s laughter and countless tellings of various failed love attempts, the children in her kindergarten, all of it. This wasn’t to say she didn’t enjoy Bucky’s company, she loved it, she loved having him around but the thought of being confined here forever without ever getting to see at least her flat again terrified her. 

Another day had started in the Underworld and per usual Bucky was the first up on his feet and out to prepare the Spring Festival necessities while Y/N was left behind. There wasn’t much to do rather than ever so slightly meeting with Hecate who had started to just plain ignore her existence whenever she visited the Elysium, speaking with Psyche whenever she unceremoniously was thrown into the Underworld by her mother in law and walk the river Styx’s shores. Y/N had returned to the kitchen, placing James’ kettle on the stove and grabbing a mug as she sat on the balcony, losing herself on her own thoughts and only being removed from it by the kettle steaming out of control. She jumped from the balcony feeling her feet weirdly tingle, which was ignored fast as she grabbed the white mug and the kettle, pouring hot water onto it. The weight of it proved somehow to be too much for her and before she could act on it, she let go of the mug, loosing strength in her hand and the once silent atmosphere was filled by the shattering sound of porcelain. 

     - Shit. - she mumbled as she leaned down to grab the big shards, putting them on top of the balcony, before bracing her hands on the edge of it, forcefully shutting her eyes. One of the servants, alarmed by the sound, came rushing in, immediately grabbing a mop and brush. - It’s alright, I can clean it. 

    - We don’t want you to hurt yourself, m’am. - the man smiled at her before dismissing her from the kitchen. Y/N climbed up to her bedroom, getting dressed in a regular beige dress before going out of the house, basket in arms. She thought about collecting some plants for the house and so she made her way to the Elysium. 

The sound and smell of nature at its bloom immediately brought a smile back to her face. Some trees had begin to show its fruits and most of the flowers were in bloom. She collected some flowers and fruits before taking a seat on one patch of grass watching the souls carelessly live their life. However one particular soul caught her attention. 

    - Mum? - she furrowed her brows, lips slightly parted as she got onto her feet watching a figure that looked particular like her mother. - Mum! 

She dropped her basket, bunching the fabric of her dress in her hands as she rushed over to the figure. It was her mother, it looked like her mother, the same hair, the same eyes and the same warming smile she got whenever she rushed into her bedroom after a terrifying nightmare as a child. Her mother however looked at her like she didn’t know her, turning on her back to join some other souls.

    - Mum! - Y/N called out once again but her mother only ignored her and soon enough she could feel her tears rolling down her cheek. - Mum, please

    - Y/N. - a familiar voice called out her name. She turned around to see the redhead goddess of witchcraft with a worried look on her face, she could even say care. - She doesn’t remember you, Y/N. Elysium souls have no recollection of their mortal lives. 

    - But she’s my mum. How can she not know who I am? - Hecate’s heart clenched at the words that sounded way too similar to those once spoken by James once he became the King of the Underworld. She tightened her lips, patting the girl on her shoulder and handing her the basket she had previously dropped.

    - We should probably go meet Hades. - she put her other hand on her shoulder, successfully removing her from here she was standing and taking her to the path that led to where she had least seen James which was in the Fates domain within the Elysium. The Fates’ side of the Elysium was always something rather odd, even for Hecate. Y/N watched as they passed halls and halls of name boxes with several coloured orbs.

    - What are those? - she pointed to the orbs that were inside the box containing James’ name, her curiosity perking up. 

   - Memory orbs. The Fates control and keep every single memory experienced by a god or mortal, I’ve heard their colour determine what type of memory. 

   - I think I wanna look around. - Y/N stated and Hecate stopped to pounder. She probably would be able to find the god of the dead quicker if Y/N wasn’t stopping every inch of the way to question about something that sparked her interest. 

   - Okay but stay here, don’t go wandering off! - she sternly said before going off her way to find James. Y/N watched as her figure disappeared in the hall and immediately rushed to James box, carefully pushing it out onto her arms and then onto the floor. Her eyes shined as she looked at the pretty colours flow inside the orbs, a special red one calling for her attention. Y/N knew she shouldn’t pick it, she shouldn’t be curious, these were James’ memories and she shouldn’t be lurking on them but her curiosity got the best of her and she immediately grabbed the red orb. What she wasn’t expecting was the sudden feeling on her left arm, almost feeling it being teared off which made her drop the orb onto the ground. Hand flying to hold her left arm as the orb rolled a bit away from her, flashes of someone screaming Bucky’s name and the harsh feeling of cold snow and sorrow rushing through her as if they were her memory. She stared at it, unbelieving to what had just happened and to the pain that had lodged itself on her left arm yet nothing was harming her and no injury was seen in sight. 

   - Y/N? - she heard James’ voice and immediately tried to place the orb back on its box which only made the pain return which in turn made her drop the orb once again. In no time James’ had localised her, his eyes going from the box with his name and the red orb on the floor to Y/N’s laying against the shelf of boxes, her hand holding onto her left shoulder. His lips tightened as he crutched down to where she was laying. - What are you doing?

   - I saw my mum. - she decided to sway the topic but the one she had swayed to somehow hurt her. - She didn’t know me. 

   - Don’t take it personally, sunflower. - he kissed her temple, flesh hand coming to caress her cheek. - It happens to everyone. My parents, my sister, even my friend don’t remember who I am.

   - Why? Why do you make them forget if they’re in paradise?

   - I guess the memory of leaving their loved ones in the mortal realm pains them too much. Would work more like a punishment. 

   - What about you? Isn’t that punishment to you too?

   - No, sunflower. I remember them all.

   - That’s not what I mean ... they don’t remember you. - she leaned her head against the bookcase, staring into his blue eyes. - Isn’t that too harsh of a punishment for a god?

   - The only punishment is being alive, sunflower. Not forgetfulness, not remembering, it’s still being alive after so long.

   - James ... - she took her hand way from her shoulder to cup his cheek, caressing it ever so slightly. She brought her face closer to him, lightly pecking his lips. 

   - We should go, this is no place for you. - he cleared his throat, getting up from his sitting position and offering her his hand. She however did not take it, still feeling the ghost pain in her left arm. - It’s not real, Y/N. You are okay.

   - I can feel it. - she looked up through her lashes at him. - What happened?

   - It’s not important.

   - Why do you always do that? - she knew she shouldn’t be mad, heck he should be the one mad at her but with all that had happened today so far, something in her snapped. - Why do you always tell me it’s not important when it clearly is? Don’t you trust me?

   - Of course I do, sunflower. You just don’t need to know about my past, it’s irrelevant. 

   - Is that memory the one of how you lost your arm? - she pressed him, looking away from his arm to the orb. - Is that what happened? 

   - Y/N, don’t question me. Come up. 

   - You are not the boss of me. - she ignored the hand he had offered to her, instead holding onto one of the shelf’s wooden bars and getting up by herself, storming off. 

   - Y/N, stop. - Bucky took the tone he normally took with his employees which immediately made her stop and turn to look at him before storming off again in a huff. - Y/N, cut it off. Damn it, I’m ordering you to stop. 

   - You’re not ordering me to do anything. You’re not my King and you will not talk to me as if you were. 

   - There is a lot of stuff that you don’t understand, Y/N. 

   - Then explain it to me. - she almost begged him. 

   - I cant.

   - Why not?

   - BECAUSE YOU WOULDN’T LOVE ME IF I FUCKING DID, Y/N. - he held her forearms, looking at her with what looked like tears starting to accumulate near the corner of his eyes, ready to roll down his cheeks. - You don’t know half of it and if you did you wouldn’t have spoken to me.

   - I would. 

   - No, you ...

   - I know you were the Winter Soldier. - she blurted out casually, almost as if she was talking about the weather. Truth was she knew, after he had told her about Steve it didn’t take long for the memories of when she went to the museum to hit her. She knew an abbreviated form of the story, not exactly what he’d been through, but she knew. Bucky was taken aback by her statement, blue eyes wide staring at her. - I know you were the Winter Soldier and I love you.

Bucky was still staring at her, eyes fully wide as his brain still processed those words. She knew. Well, of course she knew, it wasn’t like she hadn’t grown up in the new age of superheroes. She just, she just didn’t appear to be the type of woman to care much for that. Yet there she was, arms crossed across her chest, calm complexion. 

   - Say something. - she bite onto her lip nervously. She let go of her crossed arm position, slowly padding towards him, her hand trailing from his metal one to his shoulder, fingers dancing on the place where metal met flesh. - Please. 

   - What do you want me to say? - he leaned his head on her touch, thoughts running through his mind of how his fellow deities would react to him being this submissive to a mortal of no god birth or immortal blood. - Because I sincerely don’t know what to tell you, Y/N. 

    - Do you wanna tell me how it happened? I know how it felt and I’d rather hear it from you.

   - Not today. - he kissed the top of her head. - I will, just not today. 

Y/N left Bucky to do his work despite his complaints of wanting to be with her after seeing her mother. She knew better about not messing with the Spring Festival which was fast approaching. The sooner it got, the least she saw of James with all the preparations and meeting with Zeus that Bucky wouldn’t let her hear or even be nearby. Soon enough, it was only one day until the Spring Festival and Hecate had invited her to be with her nymphs for the opening ceremony, something she had been rather excited over as that meant she wouldn’t have to mingle with the rest of the gods and goddesses who mostly did not enjoy her presence or the fact she was with the King of the Underworld. 

Y/N excitingly opened the box Hecate had delivered to James’ home in the early morning, happy to see what she was wearing. Following what the Charon and other nymphs had discussed with her, every nymph wore a colour and a flower in order to honour the goddess of spring and the harvest. As she removed the protective silk paper from the gown, she noticed her colour was white and in a smaller box near the dress was a hair crown of white roses. She guessed it made sense, considering the flower seemed to haunt her.

The day couldn’t come sooner and much to Bucky’s dismay Y/N was out the door in the morning, box in hand and headed to the Elysium, specially Persephone’s groves. All the nymphs were getting ready, laughter and song in the air along with various flowers thrown on the floor giving the dead nature of the grooves some sort of happiness. 

Y/N took to getting herself dressed before taking a place in one of the free vanities to do her hair. She looked around looking at the nymphs happily pining, curling and sewing their hair away in unbelievably hard hairstyles. Y/N tried her best to pull her hair up only to sigh and lean against her chair. 

       - I’ll give you hand. - Hecate walked from behind her, her stoic look still present on most her features as she grabbed the silver brush from the vanity. Y/N understood why Hecate wasn’t a fan of her, she, after all, was extremely passionate over her domains and protecting everything. 

      - Thank you. - she watched her reflection in the mirror as Hecate divided her hair in two and braided each section. Following, she grabbed a needle and white yarn, sewing the two braids together and upwards in what looked like a singular double braid that now wrapped itself around the lower part of her head from ear to ear. Hecate placed the brush on the vanity grabbing the crown of fresh white roses and placing it upon her head.

     - You’re all set. Come on. - Hecate rushed her to walk into where the celebrations were to set place. In the middle of the beautiful greenery there was a porcelain mast with various coloured ribbons which was started to being surrounded by various deities. - All the nymphs of the Underworld get a coloured ribbon the same as their gown and dance around the mast, wrapping the ribbon around it until it snaps. The ribbon that doesn’t snap is decided maiden of the harvest and gets to crown someone to be her consort with their own flower crown. The pair gets the first dance.

      - Oh, I’m a terrible dancer.

      - You probably won’t get it. You’d have to be greatly in favour of Gaia in order to get it. - she tightened her lips. - However, in the slightest chance you get the honour of being chosen maiden, remember to pick Apollo, Priapus even. Any of the gods related to the act of love and beauty will suffice, it’s good to be in their graces.

Y/N stood in line with the other nymphs, her eyes scouting the crowd for her Bucky, but it was him who found her first, watching from afar as some minor gods spoke of various new achievements and demigods they’re fathered. However, now that he had spotted her, he was much more interested in looking at her unless of listening to them. He watched as she scurried around like a nervous little nymph to the mast, grabbing the white ribbon and finally took in her whole appearance, judging her to be officially the prettiest of all living things. Hecate ordered Apollo and his muses to start the sweet music that filled Elysium’s air which made the nymphs and Y/N start to go around the pole. 

Her eyes left the pole for a few seconds, watching as every single god and goddess of the Greek pantheon watched in awe before immediately turning to look at the pole, watching the pink and purple ribbons snap away causing some disgruntled noises for a few moments. One by one most ribbons snapped away until hers and a blue one were the only ones standing. Y/N sighed, ready to go back to James, expecting her to be the next one to snap until the sound of ripping fabric removed her from her thoughts. However, instead of seeing her own arm freed from the ribbon, she watched as the last blue ribbon laid on the ground and her own still tightly wrapped around her wrist. 

She quickly unwrapped the ribbon of her wrist, quickly massaging it before bringing both hands to take her own rose crown off her head as she stared at the crowd in front of her like a deer in headlights. A few gods cleared their throats, smirks on their faces, clearly expecting the honour to be bestowed upon them. Hecate’s words rang like heavy bells in her head but she was never one to follow them and soon enough she found herself walking towards the exact and only person she knew would be worth such bestowment. Next to him, stood Ares and Zeus who quite conceitedly took a step forward only to wide their eyes as the mortal woman who had just been chosen by Gaia’s forces to be the maiden of the harvest placed her white rose crown confidently upon the head of the God of the Underworld.

     - Now, what about that. - she could hear the goddess of love and beauty mumble under her breathe, somehow being the only deity not surprised by the odd choice. How ironic the maiden of the harvest had picked someone who did not even harvest the souls he ruled over. James rather surprisingly took her hand in his, guiding her to the middle of the circle the gods had created, turning his body to face hers. 

     - I can’t dance. - she whispered under her breath, ashamed anyone but him could hear it. 

     - I can dance well enough for both of us, sunflower.

tag list: @philogrobizedvee​​​​​​  @keithseabrook27​​​​​ @inlovewith3​​​​19 @nwbstan​ @romanoffs-heart​

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Never Gonna Lose You

Summary - Even with Chuck's danger hanging over the heads of the Winchesters and the Reader, preparations for Dean and Reader's wedding start in the bunker

Pairing - Dean x reader, Sam x reader (platonic)

Warning - Fluff, just pure tooth rotting fluff (yeah ik it's highly unlike me) and maybe a bit of swearing

Word Count - 1.5k

A/N - This is the sequel to Don't Wanna Lose You as requested by @miss-nerd95 (I finally wrote it)

This is the first time I have attempted to write a fic with a wedding ceremony in it so I hope it turns out okay. (Also if there is any rule wrong in the wedding ceremony, please let me know because I wrote the rules of the ceremony after I saw it on the internet and from movies).

Spn divider by the amazingly talented @talesmaniac89 (if you can, check out her blog. She is so good)

"Hey! I came back to the bunker to find it empty. Where were you both?"

You were trying your best to stop the large smile that was threatening to spread on your face.

"We were uh..out", you gave Sam an innocent smile.

"Oh no. No I don't want to hear about my brother's sex life", Sam scrunched up his face in pure disgust.

"Get your mind out of the gutter Sammy because we have some news", Dean said with a stupid grin on his face.

"Please don't tell me Y/N's pregnant because I can't handle a mini Dean right now in the bunker", Sam said.

"What no! I am not pregnant-"

"We're getting married!" Dean declared proudly.

"What? That's great! Congratulations you guys", Sam literally ran towards you both and pulled you and his brother into a bone crushing hug.

"That's enough Sam", Dean groaned.

Sam let go of you both, "So when's the wedding? Where's the ring? Show me the ring".

"When did you become so girly Sammy?" Dean teased Sam which resulted in him getting a glare from the younger hunter.

"I'm just very excited for you both. Welcome to the Winchester family, Y/N. I am very happy for you Dean but Y/N not really, you could have done a lot better", Sam smirked.

"Ow", Sam yelped when his brother smacked his head.

"So when's the wedding? Did you tell Cas and Jack? Where will be the wedding?" Sam started to fire different questions at you.

"Hold your damn horses, Sammy. I don't know when's the-"

"We are getting married next week," Dean said, cutting you off mid-sentence which made your eyes go wide.

"Next week?" You exclaimed, "Dean are you crazy? We can't get married next week! There is so much to do! It's a goddamn wedding! Decorations, dress, catering - are you out of your mind, Dean Winchester?"

"We'll manage, sweetheart. It will be fine," Dean tried to assure when he saw you had already started panicking.

And damn did he make sure it was fine. The week went by a blink of an eye. With every passing day you were growing more anxious even though Dean did his best to make this the perfect wedding.

Growing up as a hunter, you never thought marriage was in your cards. You always thought that you would be long dead even before you meet the man of your dreams but it all changed when you met Dean.

Your meeting with Dean was out of pure luck. Your car had crashed into his when you were on a run from a monster. They immediately found out that you were hunting the same nest of vampire that they were. They were quite taken aback when you told them that you were a solo hunter.

Although as much as Dean was furious at first because you damaged his beloved Baby, you and him slowly became good friends. So when Sam invited you to live with them, you agreed without any second thoughts. Sam was like the younger brother you never had but Dean was another story. After several months of dancing around the fact that you both had feelings for each other and also because of Sam’s annoyance, Dean decided to ask you out.

Now, today as you looked at your reflection in the mirror, tears started to well up in your eyes. You never thought you would be able to see yourself like this - wearing a beautiful white gown as your would-be husband takes a stand at the altar, waiting for you to walk down the aisle.

“All done, sweetie,” Jody said as she put the final touches to your makeup and hair, “you look beautiful.”

You took a final look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes travelled south, eventually finding the beautiful engagement ring on your hand. Dean had given it to you on the same night he had asked you to marry him. The ring was perfectly kept in the pocket of one of his coats - he wanted to ask you for a long time but he always would chicken out at the last minute until that night. After he had put the ring on your finger, Dean had pulled you close, whispering “I love you” into your ear a thousand times. That night had ended with you and him in bed, entangled up with each other, panting and mumbling ‘I love you’s into each other's ears.

You smiled when you remembered the soft memory from that night.

“Jody, just don't let me fall while I walk down the aisle,” you said, standing up. Claire and Alex helped with the gown.

“Oh honey, I won't let you fall but if I do Dean will be there to catch you. That boy will always catch you before you hit the ground,” Jody said.

Jody Mills, you met her after you became a permanent resident of the bunker. She was a good friend of the Winchesters but she was more like a mother to you than a friend. She was there whenever you needed to talk. She supported you always so when Dean asked you about who will walk you down the aisle, you went straight to Jody’s house and asked her the question. She was surprised but eventually agreed, with tears in her eyes.

“We're ready,” Donna poked her head into the room and said.

Alex and Claire walked out of the room before you.

You linked your right arm with Jody’s, taking a deep breath, you tried to calm down your racing heart.

“Let's do this.”

You walked out of your dressing room and started to walk towards the garage where the wedding crremony was being held.

When you reached the garage you saw a carpet was spread out for you, with flowers sprinkled over it. You looked up and saw Claire and Alex standing on the side, Jack standing there with your wedding bands. The few guests you had invited - Bobby, Charlie, Rowena, Donna sitting at the front. You saw Sam standing beside Dean, he had a black tux on. He was looking right at you with a small smile on his face. Just beside him, stood Dean, a soft smile playing on his lips.

You started to tear up when you saw him. This was all you ever wanted - to spend the rest of your life with the man you love, your soulmate.

You walked towards Dean, Jody letting go of your arm. He extended his hand at you. You took his hand and stood beside him. You looked up at Dean, your eyes locking with his jade ones. His eyes were moist and you were yourself trying not to cry.

“You look beautiful,” he said softly, a shy smile playing on your lips.

“Should we begin?” Cas asked. You had asked Cas to officiate your wedding because who would be better other than an angel?

You and Dean nodded.

Cas began the ceremony but you weren't paying attention to what he was saying. You were too mesmerised in Dean's eyes. You mind wandered off to all the times you had spent with Dean, hunting with each other or just spending a lazy day in bed with him.

You were broken from your thoughts when Cas asked if you wanted to say your own vows. You both nodded and Dean started to speak.

“Y/N, five years ago, when your car crashed into mine I didn't know then that I would be standing at here with you today. I love your coffee obsessed, nerdy self who is also a badass hunter who doesn't take any bullshit from others. Being with you brings the best out of me. I promise that I won't let anything happen to you ever even if I have to walk through fire to keep you safe. I promise I will never take you, us for granted. I promise to love you as you love me, through all hardship, darkness, and pain to reach for our joys, our hopes, and always with honesty and faith and lastly I promise to never make fun about how much you love the Harry Potter books.”

You wiped the tears that were now rolling down your cheek. “Y/N.” You heard Cas say your name and you started to speak.

“Dean, today when I woke up I had to catch my breath to believe this is real, that I am really marrying my true love, my heart's desire, my soulmate. I couldn't make myself believe that it was all real and not one of Chuck's plans, but after seeing you standing here, waiting for me, all my doubts flew out of the window. I promise to always love and cherish this relationship even when you are annoying me. I promise to always protect you and keep both of us from harm's way. I promise to always love and support you. I promise to always leave the last slice of my pizza for you and lastly I promise to not roll my eyes everytime you say a stupid movie reference.”

Tears were now flowing freely down your cheek. You didn't even bother to wipe them. You looked at Dean and saw him sniffling. His green eyes clouded with emotions. He mouthed “I love you”.

“It's time to bring in the rings,” Cas announced and

Jack walked in with the rings, “Y/N and Dean will now exchange rings to symbolize their commitment. Dean now you may take Y/N’s hand in yours and repeat these words after me.”

Dean repeated the words after Cas with a grin on his face, and took the ring from Jack, putting it on your finger.

“Y/N, please take Dean's hand and repeat these words.”

You repeated the words after Cas, with a smile playing on your lips. You smile got bigger when you took the ring from Jack and put it on Dean's. You and Dean said your I do's, your heart heavy with emotions.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Dean you may kiss your bride now,” Cas said and for the first you noticed, he had a big smile on his face too.

Dean pulled you into a kiss, the first kiss as husband and wife. You immediately melted into the kiss. Cheers erupted throughout the garage but you didn't pay any attention to them. You were finally married to Dean, the love of your life and that was what mattered the most. Dean finally let go of you and looked at you with a stupid grin on his face.

“Hey Mr. Winchester,” you whispered.

“Hey Mrs. Winchester,” Dean said.

“We are married.”

“We are married, sweetheart,” Dean sighed.

“Now let's go save the world,” you smiled.

“Let's go save the world, together.”

Forever taglist - @donnaintx @devil-in-my-boots @amandamdiehl @miss-nerd95 @foxyjwls007

Dean/Jensen Taglist - @akshi8278 @mrsjenniferwinchester @jensengirl83 @defenderrosetyler

[bxthharmon]

Never Go Home Again, Pt. XII || JJ Maybank x Reader

Words: 3130

Series Warnings: violence / talking about abuse / toxic relationships / talking about nudes sex and sex tapes / drugs / underage drinking

Pt. Warnings: Guns / blood and violence

Series Summary: A new girl, a shoebox of old memories, a past she’s trying to forget coincide with a hotheaded, but selfless, boy.  teenagers getting in way over their heads

Pt. Summary: Chaos catches up, causing trouble for everyone involved

A/N: sorry for the slow updates, but with the event (tysm btw ily) i’ve been busy. i have a few more requests, and i promise im getting to them. anyway! feels weird, only 2 or 3 parts left. tysm for all this support <3

Chapters linked in my masterlist.

“masterlist”

JJ woke up before you. His face felt stiff from the tears he’d shed the night before, and the corners of his eyes were filled with sleep. He rubbed his eyes, phosphenes decorating his mind as he pulled them open. The window was wide open, curtains fluttering in the light breeze and the sun decorating the room with a natural glow. He became aware of the towel thrown over the dresser and the wet clothes hanging in the window sill, the memories of last night returning. He looked down at you.

You were curled up, one of his tops and a pair of his joggers covering your body as you gripped his arm lightly in your sleep. He blinked, admiring the lock of hair falling over your face, the curve of your lashes and the relaxed smile that adorned your sleeping frame. He brushed the hair out of your face and let it fall. He realised that he was in deep. Somewhere across the room, the ping of a phone notification pulled him from his thoughts. He looked up, seeing the bluish light coming from the floor on the other side of the room. He slid his arm from your hold, careful not to wake you as you unconsciously pulled the pillow into your grip instead. He rose from the bed, careful not to let the bed creak as he left you. He padded across the room, picking up the phone from the wooden floorboards.

The phone awoke as he lifted it, a series of fresh messages lining up under the time. 

Tyler: hey

Tyler: ik i fucked up with us, but i cant stop thinking abt seeing u when u visited

Tyler: can we try again?

Tyler: ik u said u were seeing someone and dont wanna fuck it up, but i still love u

Tyler: let me know. I miss u

He almost choked, heart beating in his ears as he looked back to your sleeping frame, rising and falling with oblivious breaths. He looked back at the phone, placing it on the dresser softly. He left the room, clicking the door shut as softly as he could, and making his way to the kitchen. He rinsed a mug and put the kettle on, rummaging through the cupboards for the instant coffee granules. He pulled the silver pot from the shelf, peeling the cap off and tapping it on the side of the mug so the granules tumbled in, the dark brown contrasting the light ceramic. He poured the contents of the boiling kettle in, watching the hot water consume the granules and turn brown. He stirred and sipped, hissing as it burnt his tongue. He never had the patience to wait for it to cool down.

He studied the cupboards again, finding no edible food, not trusting the bread after his previous experience. He sipped the coffee again, allowing himself to look back at the closed bedroom door. He wanted to know what happened when you went back, but knew he wouldn’t like the answer. After last night, he knew Tyler was an asshole, and wanted more than anything to fly to California and punch him in the face, but couldn’t understand the text. Thoughts were flashing through his head, ideas rushing to his head. He wondered if he should ask, or leave it and wait for you to tell him. He knew you had no obligation to him, but he also knew that you two had something going on. Whatever that something was. He sighed. 

He thought about how he felt when he saw you smile, how much he’d spiralled after your argument, how vulnerable he was around you. It hit him suddenly, an epiphany that took all his air away but made him feel alive, made him feel broken and brilliant all in one moment. He loved you.

Down the hall, on the other side of the door, he heard the bed creak. There was a pause, and then he heard the floorboards moan. Another minute, and he heard the ping of your phone notification. There was another pause, then the door opened and you stood in front of him, hair tousled by sleep and eyes fresh. You smiled at him, reaching out and pulling him in, kissing his temple and stepping away to make your own coffee. His heart pulled, not letting him push you away and reaching out as you left his arms, but not wanting it because of those stupid texts. In that moment, he fights his impulse and decides to wait for you to tell him. Would you tell him?

He draws his attention to you, hopping back onto the counter next to you. He watched you, enamored with the way you moved, the way you brush against him, the way you seem so carefree in the moment. He wants to kiss you, but he knows he won’t until he knows what’s going on. 

Faster than he wants to admit, you’ve finished your coffees and Kie and Pope are awake, moving about after leaving their slumber on the pullout couch, and then setting up the pulley for the well. Your mood changes when they’re up. You’re more talkative, brushing over any mention of the night before, helping when you can. You look back at him a couple of times, and each time his heart flutters.

You can feel blisters working on your skin as you help Pope with the winch, the rope burning at your skin in the force of the friction, but you don’t pay it any mind. You finish with the mechanism, stepping away and sitting down next to JJ, passing some witty banter with Kie, and opening a bottle of beer, the cool glass soothing the hot skin on your palms.

“What does it feel like?” Pope asked, watching Kie as she sat in the can hanging from the pulley.

“Feels good.” she confirms, pulling the rope slightly.

“John B’s pulling a Houdini.” JJ stated, putting his own beer down.

“Yeah, where is he?” you asked.

“I got my scholarship interview in the morning.” Pope reminded, “We gotta get this done.”

“Speak of the devil!” JJ grinned as John B strode past you all without so much as a ‘hello’. “Hey! Dude, I put up the entire winch to pull up the gold and everything.”

“No he did not.” You laughed.

“We did that.” Pope said, gesturing between you.

John B ignored you, and Kie called after him as he entered the Chateau. “Okay, that’s it?” you muttered.

“What’s that all about?” Pope asked, walking to you and JJ.

“I was gonna ask you the same question.” JJ said, you and him getting off the hot tub and following him into the Chateau. When you entered, John B was pulling the house apart, searching.

“You alright, man?” Pope asked, “What’s up?”

“What are you looking for?” Kie added.

“Bro, what’s going on, man?” JJ asked, following him as he pulled the gun from under the cushioning on the sofa.

“John B, what do you need the gun for?” You and JJ stepped forwards, both reaching to take the weapon. John B grabbed your shoulders, pushing you over and shoving past JJ as you all yelled for him to chill and talk to you. Pope tried to block his exit.

“What are you, JJ, now?” Pope asked as you and Kie yelled for him to calm down. John B pushed Pope back into the table as you followed him out, asking for him to explain, or calm down. You ran down the steps, the others close behind. He mounted the dirt bike, looking back at the four of you.

“John B, what the hell?” Kie yelled.

“Ward knows about the gold.” John B spoke for the first time. “He killed my dad.”

You ran as far as the dirt track, watching the bike disappear as JJ swore.

--

“What now, we just go up to the front door and ask, ‘Hey, have you seen John B’?”

The night felt dark, cold, and your boat felt fragile next to the stupidly big boat across the pontoon from you. The shape of the Cameron house was huge and adorned with golden windows on the other side of the lawn.

“Look, he lives in Tannyhill now, it’s plausible.” Kie reasoned, but you could tell she was just grabbing at loose ends. “We can play dumb.”

“Play dumb?” you frowned.

“It’s pretty late.” Pope added.

“Look, I’ve never seen John B like that. We should honestly be going to the cops.” Kie countered.

“The cops? And say what, Kie?” you almost laughed, “‘We’re worried about our friend because he’s going off on a rampage because Ward Cameron killed Big John’? They’re not gonna believe us!”

“Hey, I see Ward.” Pope interrupted you, binoculars up as he watched the house. Kie took the binoculars, checking for herself. “Doesn’t look dead to me, let’s go home.”

“What?” Kie turned, shocked and offended.

“Uh, okay. Obviously Mr Cameron is fine, and even if John B was here, he isn’t now, okay? Plus, I have the biggest, most important moment of my life in six hours.”

“Yeah, well our friend is in trouble.”

“I’m in trouble! Guys, I haven’t been home in three days! My dad’s probably put all my shit on the street by now.”

“Okay, so that’s it? In a time of need you’re just gonna bail? You’re just gonna walk away?”

“Okay, yo, guys.” You spoke from the other side of the boat, “Can we not do this right now?”

“Hey, I have a scholarship interview in the morning.” Pope reminded Kie.

“Okay, well what about John B?” Kie asked.

“Why is it always about John B?” Pope questioned, and you sighed, looking away as Kie looked around, caught off guard.

“It’s not always about John B. You’re so stupid! It would be any of you in this situation.”

“Bullshit!”

“Guys.” JJ tried to stop them.

“This is about friendship!” Kie powered on.

“Bring it down.” said JJ.

“This is about pogues for life!”

“What about forensic pathology, huh?” countered Pope.

“Forensic pathology?” Kie scoffed.

“It’s my life! It’s everything I’ve worked for!”

“That’s your priority?”

“Would you stop with the moral high ground bullshit?”

“Pope, come on.” you cut in.

“No.” he rejected, “No, no. She has no room to talk.” You looked down, knowing you didn’t either. “Where were you when Big John went missing? You weren’t there. You weren’t there for John B. You weren’t there for any of us! Remember your kook year?”

“Dude.” JJ tried, again, to stop the argument.

“Yeah, you forgot about us. Now you feel guilty.”

“Give me a break.” She pushed him, and he staggered but held his ground, you and JJ were up within seconds. “Is that what you need? You need a break? Move!”

You and JJ pulled them away from each other, shouting for them to stop, to cut it out. You held Kie’s shoulders, the both of you breathing heavily. She stared straight ahead, holding eye contact with Pope as JJ looked between them.

“If I’m the one mediating, we’ve hit rock bottom.” JJ sighed. You dropped your hands from Kie’s shoulders. She sat down as you sent Pope to the bow of the ship, sitting down as well.

“Pope, we’ll drop you off.” You said, JJ steering the boat. 

--

You sat, facing away from the group, water washing around your ankles, arms propped up on the wood as you stared at your phone. You were aware of the conversation - the gold was gone - but you weren’t really listening, or paying attention. Your mind was plagued with worries that felt trivial compared with what was going on, but still felt like the world would implode if you didn’t sort them.

Tyler was rejecting your refusals, insisting you humour him. You turned around briefly to look at JJ, who was watching you. You wondered if he had worked out that you’d slept with Tyler, even though you hadn’t mentioned it. But, of course, you hadn’t mentioned it - he couldn’t know.

You broke from your thoughts as Pope came blundering down the path. “Guys!” he halted when he reached you, and you picked your legs up, swinging around to face the group. “Oh, God, I ran all the way here.”

“How was the interview?” you asked.

“Don’t ask.”

“Promising.”

“JB, look, I’m sorry dude. About everything.”

“It’s fine.” John B disregarded.

“But - but I don’t have a lot of time, and I have information that is tactically relevant. So, before I had my interview, my dad said he was going down to the private airstrip to cut palms for Cameron’s big plane. Because it was too heavy, it needed a longer landing strip to take off. So, I’m there sitting in my interview, thinking to myself, ‘Hm, why would Cameron need a longer airstrip to take off? What could be so heavy to weigh it down?’”

“Gold.” JJ turned.

“That’s right.” John B confirmed.

“Exactly! Guys, this is our chance, but it leaves tonight, and we have to go.”

“We can’t give up now.” Kie smiled, jumping down from where she was balanced.

“What’s the plan, big man?” JJ asked.

“We’re gonna steal that shit back.” John B stated.

You smiled, this was going to be a shit show.

--

“We go in there, guns-a-blazin’, make Ward Cameron beg for mercy, abscond with as much gold as possible, and vámanos, get the hell out of there.” JJ summed up.

“Send that shit right down the intracoastal.” John B added.

“Wait for the weather.” Kie reminded.

“Exit to Cuba.” Pope finalised.

“Cuba?” JJ sounded offended at the idea, “No, man, Xcalak, the jewel of the Yucatan. Lobsters so thick, mangoes, no word for money.”

“I like the sound of that,” you hummed, sitting up from where you lay across the back seats, “Let’s do this shit.”

The VW rattled on for a few hundred feet, John B curving into a break in the thicket, the lot of you leaping out of the car to a wire fence.

“What’s the plan?” Kie asked. “Broad strokes.”

“I don’t think we got that far.” John B admitted, Pope pulled out his binoculars.

“They’re loading up the gold.” Pope pointed out. 

John B took the binoculars, watching the scene before him. You were all pressed up to the wire fence, and you could see a car rolling up to the plane. You watched the figures exit, faintly recognisable without the binoculars. John B lowered the black instrument, Kie asking him what was going on.

“It’s Sarah.” 

You looked back at the plane. They played out like a scene in a play, little figurines moving around, until Sarah was being dragged onto the plane by the shape that must have been her father. John B disappeared from your side as the engine began to whir, loud enough to be audible from your spot behind the fence. Behind you, a car door slammed, and you shouted for your friend as he started the engine, forcing all of you to step back as he smashed through the gate, JJ’s “Don’t be a hero!” resounding in the air.

Still shouting, the four of you ran through the gap as he accelerated towards the moving plane, your shouts fracturing the air. Upon the realisation that whatever stupid, reckless thing John B was doing couldn’t be stopped, you waited in baited breath. You watched the van swerve in the plane’s path, the screech of the brakes reaching your ears. You heard and watched the second squeal as the plane halted, barely feet away from the pogue.

Somewhere in the distance, you heard the sirens.

“Guys, I can’t get arrested.” Pope spoke, breaking the shocked silence you had been standing in.

“I’m on probation.” JJ added. 

“We’re no good if we’re all in jail.” Kie confirmed, and you turned to the three of them.

“You serious?” you almost laughed.

“Y/N,” JJ started.

“Go, if you have to.” You nodded, “I’ll step in if he needs me, God knows what’ll happen.”

Kie and Pope nodded,setting off, but JJ stood. “You can’t-”

“JJ, you said yourself - you’re on probation. But they don’t know I’m here, I’ll be fine.” You smiled, stronger than you felt, “Go.”

He followed your friends, and you stepped back into the trees, the sick feeling in your stomach foreboding a turn of events. The blue and white police car was racing down the runway, and you could almost feel the panic in your friends.

You saw the Sheriff get out, and the exchange that led to Ward’s arrest. You watched her get him on the floor, gun pointed at his face, you heard a bang.

The scene froze for a second, but suddenly time sped up, the Sheriff collapsed, and there was another figure. The gun was pointed at John B. You felt yourself move forwards, but the figures were moving - Sarah’s crumpling onto the floor, Ward standing, John B’s moving to help Sheriff Peterkin. You watched Ward and the new figure. Fuck it.

“John B!” you screamed, and he looked up. He was sprinting towards you as the three Cameron’s started fighting. You jogged, the pair of you breaking into a sprint as you got to the woods, fighting your way through the thicket as more sirens joined the melee. Shots were fired, but they sounded numb to your racing mind. He was slightly ahead of you, faded hoodie flashing as you both ran flat out. Before you registered the road, the horn was honking and John B was rolling over the bonnet of a car. You grabbed his shoulders, pulling him up, the pair of you running as the driver shouted for you.

You needed to find the others.

You ran for a while, slowing to a walk as you discussed where the others would be. The junkyard, you thought.

After five minutes, you stopped, forcing him to prove to you that the blood on his arms was only Peterkin’s, and that he wasn’t injured.

Somewhere above you, there was a plane. 

You were walking slowly now, approaching the junkyard. You felt numb, knowing that everything was completely different now. You turned the corner, seeing the three other pogues gathered, Pope taking a hit from JJ’s juul. Weird.

They ran to you, seeing the blood in John B’s hands and your shirt (from your attempts to check his injuries) and immediately began to panic, giving you once overs.

“Who’s blood is that?”

You all ducked behind the clutter to avoid the approaching sirens, allowing yourself a moment to breathe. You glanced at the blonde boy next to you, but as you went to speak, he turned away harshly. What the fuck?

Tags: @tangledinsparkles​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @lolitstiana​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ @teamnick​ @thoughtsofthestars​ @obxmxybxnk​ @jjmaybankswife​ @kaelyn-lobrutto24​ @sxcretinhuman​ @alexa-playafricabytoto​ @angvelics​ @badwolf00593​ @coloradogirl07​ @mendesmaybank​ @jiaraendgame​ @5am-cigarette​ @emerald-xcd​ @haharudy​

[a-lonely-tatertot]

The Nightmares Haven’t Left

Pairing: Titz (tam/fitz)

Word Count: 1589

Warnings: panic attacks, anxiety, mentions of burns, scars, injuries, and blood

A/N: Day 3 of Titz week ( @titzweek ) this is late ik, hurt and comfort there’s comfort i promise, this was read over once and i did this in like three hours so uh good luck 

The nightmares were back. For a moment, one peaceful moment when he had closed his eyes, finally laying down at 4 am, it was quiet. No flashes. No pain. No cold terror freezing his body. The shadows of the room stayed in their places, the shadows in his mind didn’t move. 

Relief flooded through him a moment too soon. The peace was shattered by his thoughts. It started with Linh. Why couldn’t he protect her? How she had burn scars traveling, weaving down her arm, because of him. He couldn’t stop them when they took her. She wore them proudly now, next to Biana, and she doesn’t flinch when Marella lights her fires. But Tam does. He always will. And he’ll never get her screams out of his head.

The thoughts and images travel from there. To what he did to Keefe, to how powerful he felt. As he watched the shadows under his command, it was his doing, with or without the cuffs. How before Sophie talked to him he was becoming more like them. He had darkness in him, so much of it, and the things he had done were still apart of him. 

Distantly he felt Fitz curl closer to him out of instinct. Tam wanted to scream, to yell, to put Fitz as far away from him as he could. /I’m a monster! How can you sleep next to me? Knowing you’re defenseless?/ Tam thought. The shadows crawled closer. He didn’t stop them. 

Fitz knew what he was capable of, he had /felt/ it. The Shadowflux was inside of him, inside of his heart. “That wasn’t you,” Fitz had said as he grabbed Tam’s hand and put it to his chest. “This wasn’t you, this was never your fault. You fought back, you did everything in your power to help.”

/It could’ve been,/ Tam almost said. He didn’t, Fitz shouldn’t have to deal with that part of him. 

Fitz made a soft sigh against his side and Tam couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t trust himself. Everyone who cared about him got hurt because of it and Fitz was no exception. 

As he wiggled his way out of Fitz’s grip he was reminded of the scar on his chest, only a couple of inches from his heart. It was near the end of a battle, the Neverseen were retreating, they were closer to a victory than they had been in months. Tam was watching them go, throwing shadow after shadow making sure they couldn’t get back, but he didn’t notice the gleam of a knife through the air until it was too late. He couldn’t move so he threw a shadow to counter it. But Fitz only saw the knife. And Tam didn’t see Fitz. He had jumped in the way of both the knife and the shadow and caught both in the chest, Tam only saw his knees give out beneath him and heard the other’s shouting. 

By the time Elwin had gotten to the field Tam thought it was too late. Fitz’s chest had stopped moving and so did Tam. They got him to the Healing Center and the only reason Tam could move was because of Keefe and Linh. 

“I killed him,” Tam whispered.

“We don’t know that, he can’t be dead,” Linh said firmly.

“Fitz is strong,” Keefe tried but his voice cracked at the end.

Elwin worked tirelessly for hours on end, but in the end, it all came down to hoping Fitz was strong enough. Tam never left his perch on one of the other cots, and Sophie and Keefe traded days to make sure that he took care of himself too. And the moment Fitz woke up Tam didn’t go up to him. He had hurt him. Fitz wouldn’t have wanted to see him.

And yet, his name was the first thing out of his mouth. “/Tam/,” Fitz said even though Keefe was the one next to him. “Is-is he okay? Did I save him?”

A small smile formed on Keefe’s face, “Yeah, you saved him, buddy.”

Tam didn’t say anything until he was back to sleep, he hid in the corner staring in disbelief at Fitz. When he was finally back asleep, Tam whispered, “Why did you save me, you could’ve died.”

“Cause I love you, you idiot,” Fitz whispered back. And Tam never understood how.

Pulling out of the memory he found himself downstairs in the bakery. The front was floor-to-ceiling glass, and there were booths and tables scattered around the floor space. The kitchen was big with hundreds of ingredients that Tam didn’t understand. He knew some, from the nights that Fitz had grabbed some off of the counters and guided his hands. Fitz would probably want him to make something. Often it ended up with a mess everywhere and Fitz laughing at the amount of flour he had over him. 

But the thing he liked most about the bakery was if Tam was downstairs and he was upstairs, no one could touch him. No knives could be thrown, no one could get in without him knowing. He could actually protect Fitz from here. It had been months since the last attempt on their lives, even after the war was over people still were out to hurt them. But Fitz wasn’t going to take another knife for him, Tam wasn’t going to let another person get hurt for him. 

Tam started pulling down the ingredients he remembered, if he staged it like this he could say he was up baking. He remembered where the recipes were, Fitz didn’t need them but he kept them around for the rest of the group. He pulled out a random one that seemed simple, it was a human recipe for a dessert called “brownies”. Sophie had shown him how to bake it once, and before they put it in the oven she gleefully added almost an entire bag of chocolate chips, “For flavor,” she laughed.

He followed the steps which seemed simple enough. It consumed his focus easily, calming his mind from the anxiety. Read the instruction, do the instruction. Easy. The longer he baked though, the more his eyes started to droop. The more he had to read an instruction over and over again. At one point he almost dropped the bowl he was carrying.

He should’ve gone back to bed. But he couldn’t make himself. When he slept his mind filled with terror and memories. It reminded him of past guilt and shadows consumed him. He was afraid of the dark. The dark of the room, the dark of his mind. What was the step again? He swore under his breath. The words seemed to blur.

Right, he was supposed to grab a glass pan to put the batter in. 

Easy enough, it should’ve been but he had to fight his eyes to stay open. 

He had to fight his feet to take a step. One step. Two. Three. Open the cabinet. /This doesn’t normally take as much effort/, he thought distantly but pushed it aside. Grab the smaller pan. Or was it the bigger one?

/Doesn’t matter/, he grabbed one. The world went black for a second and he fought to open his eyes again. One step. Tw- the world went black again. Glass shattered the floor. /Oh/, he thought, he felt glass splinter his feet. He wasn’t wearing shoes or socks. 

“Tam?” Fitz called from somewhere. “Tam? Babe are you okay?”

Finally, he was able to force his eyes open, there was red on the floor. That probably wasn’t a good sign. “Yeah I’m okay go back to sleep,” he said wincing about how easily he lied. 

Fitz poked his head out from behind the wall that covered the staircase, eyebrows already furrowed in concern. “It’s five in the morning,” he said factually.

“You should be asleep, I was just finishing,” not entirely a lie. 

“There’s glass on the floor.” 

“I dropped a pan.”

“Your feet are bleeding,” he said coming behind the counter. 

“I’m fine really, you’ve got a meeting tomorrow you should really get some-” Tam started. He hated this, he hated being a mess in front of Fitz.

“I swear if you say /I/ need sleep I’m gonna throw out you’re brownies before you get to bake them,” Fitz said half-joking half-serious.

Tam rolled his eyes, “Oh no my creations I’m terrified.”

A small smile tugged at his mouth. Grabbing the broom he cleared a path to Tam and cupped his face. “I’m worried about you,” he said the amount of emotion in his eyes caught Tam off guard.

“You shouldn’t have to be,” Tam whispered leaning his forehead to Fitz’s.

“But I am because I care about you. Let me help you,” he pleaded softly, “let me take care of you. Please.”

Tam was too tired to say no, so he sagged into Fitz’s shoulder the weight of his tiredness crashing down at once. Fitz placed a kiss in his hair and Tam smiled into his shoulder. “Sap,” he muttered. 

“I love you too, dork,” Fitz laughed. He pushed Tam away and hummed gently at Tam’s sleepy grumbles. But it was only so he could sweep up his legs and hold him bridal style. 

“I can walk you know.”

“Shush, I’m taking care of you no objections.” Tam hummed once more and leaned his head into his chest to listen to his heartbeat. Eventually, the world went black.

And for the first time in many nights, Tam didn’t dream.