#ill do it properly too. ill use all the key words and make it sound real but it will actually be incredibly incorrect

[antignocchiphase]

If I started a blog where I badly explained the physics behind submitted images like this one

Would y'all submit images?

[wntrs0ldier]

An Offer · part 07

pairing: mob!bucky x reader words: 4,5k warnings: typical mafia (dark themes, language, violence, etc.), bucky saying (a lot of) things, + from now on you can expect a smut any moment, so, unfortunately, i won’t be putting that warning >:)

series masterlist

series summary: When your father dies, the only thing you can do for your family and the empire he built, is to marry a powerful man.

Having sat not far away from Michael, you fixed your gaze on the surface of the small table where your family – when it was still together – used to eat breakfast every morning. Now it was just you, your dead father's advisor and the promise of a better life.

“When?” you asked, but weren't sure if the words had actually left your mouth or if they had only echoed in your head. You lifted your eyes from the tabletop and looked at Michael, your forehead furrowed. The whole situation still seemed too surreal to you. “When did he make the offer?” 

The day had basically just begun, and you doubted that Bucky had paid Michael a visit during the night. If he had actually done so, you would have been slightly disappointed; after all, he would still have been a bit tipsy at the time, which would have undermined the sincerity of his intentions. In fact, there was no reason to consider this sincerity at all. You didn't understand. You didn't understand one bit of what was going on.

“He showed up at my door shortly after six in the morning,” Michael answered, therefore turning your stomach into knots. “He looked so ill I thought he was in a hurry before letting out his last breath. As if this offer was to be his last breath.” 

Feeling burning under your eyelids, you closed them and gasped heavily. “What, um…” You rubbed your forehead nervously. So far you thought you had managed to rest after last night, but now you felt exhausted; tired from all the unexpected turns you were experiencing. “What now?”

“I will arrange a meeting with Timothy. And I think we'll both want it to be the first and last meeting, so we need to work together, you and I. Barnes have always been our friends, so they won't make uncomfortable conditions. They shouldn't,” Michael added with a tentative grunt. 

You nodded as a sign of acceptance of what he said, but in fact all this information flew through the middle of your head, going in one ear and out the other. “What about John?”

“I will notify John properly. For now, do not contact him.”

“But... How does this actually work? Bucky made an offer and John is suddenly cut out?”

“First of all, John Walker didn't exactly behave the way we call making an offer. If he had done that, you would most likely have been married a long time ago. He wanted to do it his way and he miscalculated.” Michael shrugged. “Second, let’s suppose those two would have made an offer at the same time. It all depends on what they have to offer. The Barnes deal is much more beneficial. Nonetheless, we have to approach it delicately and with respect. To avoid offending Alexander Pierce.” 

The creaking of the floor drew the attention of you both; you looked towards the kitchen entrance, where your mother stood. She had rarely left her bedroom lately, and you didn't blame her in any way. But perhaps you did resent her a little for the way she looked at you - coldly, with disgust even. She didn't say anything, which was probably the best possible option; you were afraid of hearing confirmation of what she thought of you. 

She backed out of the kitchen and most likely went back to her bedroom, and you tried not to think about the fact that your own mother couldn't even bear your company.

The sound of the engine quieted as you turned the keys in the ignition. Up until now, you hadn't given much thought to what you would say or do when you saw him again, but with the Barnes’ house in front of you, your destination began to weigh on you. And this time you also experienced that need to escape, completely ignored by your frozen-in-place body. It was making it clear that there were only two choices – facing it and seeing Bucky, or staying in that car. A quiet retreat and going home was not an option.

Having stood in front of the massive stained-glass door, you pressed the bell button; you heard its sound spread through the interior of the building. You used the time you waited for a response to take a brief look around; the cloudy sky heralded rain.

Mary opened the door. “Oh. Hi,” she said somewhat hesitantly. Which, by the way, was a bit strange, since, seeing you for the first time, she was able to bluntly call you pretty. 

“Hi.” You forced a smile as you didn't particularly feel like it. “Is Bucky home?”

“Yeah, he’s in the garage-”

“At the back of the house.” You nodded. “Thanks.”

Walking in the same direction as before, you were completely immersed in your own thoughts; amazed at how much chaos was hidden in that void inside your head. 

When you reached the garage and saw the creamy Chrysler again, you let the air out of your lungs. At first glance, there was no sign of Bucky anywhere, and a warm sense of relief embraced you, since you didn’t have to confront him – even if that's what you came here to do. And then he leaned out from behind the car; draped in the cool shadow of the garage, he gazed at you with confusion on his face. 

Michael was right; pale, with dark circles under his eyes, Bucky looked ill. Besides, you didn't pay much attention to it, but were sure he was wearing the same dark shirt as last night; only this time untucked, with the sleeves rolled up and a few buttons opened.

“Y/N?” he spoke, as if without certainty or trust towards the fact that you were actually here. Even though he had the proof in front of him. He cautiously walked closer, but didn't dare step outside the garage, still leaving you a huge amount of space.

You watched his face and were able to tell that he was tired; beyond the obvious signs, there was a distraction lurking in his eyes, often coupled with exhaustion. “So, this is how you interpret ‘disappear’ and ‘leave me alone’, hmm?” Your tone was calm, without even a trace of meanness. “You decided I should be your wife when you saw me with another guy's tongue in my throat?” You wince slightly at the mere memory.

Bucky looked away and laughed quietly. He shook his head. “It crossed my mind when you said my name for the first time.” He looked at you, his lips pursed in a slight smile. “When I was leaving your house that night, and you called me. I don't think I've ever heard anything so heavenly in my life. I fell in love with that sound,” he confessed. Your heart jumped, making you wonder when it would get used to Bucky. “And with that sight. Of you in your little nightgown, barefoot, in the rain... And then you asked if I take part in this whole marriage thing, and I remembered what a piece of shit I am.” His smile turned sour. “Anyway... Being part of the most powerful Family in New York has its drawbacks. Someone is always trying to throw you off that fucking throne…” Bucky sighed with weariness.  “I thought I… like you too much to put you at risk. Two years ago I would have been first in line for your hand, but when my dad died-” He paused for a brief moment; lowered his eyes and wet his lips nervously. “I stopped believing in the immortality of my name. I couldn't be responsible for you.”

You stared at him almost stunned by the sincerity and softness that flowed from his words, from him himself. “Why did you change your mind?” you asked barely audibly.

“It's a…” He gasped heavily, closing his eyes for a moment. “Complex decision,” he added, then pressed his lips together. Bucky looked at you again. “Maybe I'm a piece of shit, but no worse than Rumlow or Walker. And if these two were so close to making a deal, it just as easily could have been me.” He shrugged helplessly. “And everything you told me last night? Shit, I couldn't just ditch you like that.” His eyebrows drew together, his expression softened. “And-” Bucky stopped, as if he didn't quite know whether he should go on. You didn't interrupt him, letting him know that you wanted to hear every thought wandering through his mind. “I didn't want to lose you just because I was a stubborn asshole.”

You watched his face carefully; every part of it, every muscle that just happened to twitch. You feared that, despite all the affection you had for him, you would resent Bucky for delaying so long. But the truth was that he didn't owe you anything; you weren't surprised that he didn't want to get married – if it hadn't been for your Family, you wouldn't have decided to do such a thing either.

“You don't want this marriage, do you?” you asked without blame. Even though you knew the answer, you wanted to set the record straight. You didn't need uncertainty about what Bucky was feeling.

However, Bucky himself seemed to lack this certainty either. His forehead puckered, his eyes darted away from yours and wandered somewhere, as if chasing for an answer. “I still think marriage is not for me,” he said carefully. “But since I stepped into your life, I can't get out. Getting used to your presence in my own was the easiest to do, I-” He took a shaky breath. Not only could you see that he was not in the best shape; you easily gathered this from his attempts to put together a sentence. However, you were unable to get impatient. “Having you around, being with you… It feels good. Familiar.” Having nibbled absently on the inside of his lower lip, he looked at you again. “So I don't mind having you around all the time. For the rest of my life.”

Intimidated by everything he said, by the softness and tenderness beaming from him, which you didn't expect – mainly because of how he had presented his relationships with women not so long ago – this time it was you who looked away. Your heart would have jumped out of your chest, cracking your ribs in the process, if you had held your gaze on Bucky for a moment longer. 

“Thank you,” you finally spoke, lifting your eyes tentatively back to his. “I won't make this any harder for you than it has to be. And I’m not going to be cranky, I promise.”

He laughed weakly. “Promise me something else,” he asked, looking at you with a soft smile. “You’ll be my partner, my ally, my wife. Not a person in my debt. It’s not like you owe me something. Alright?”

“Alright.” You nodded gently. 

Neither of you dared to cover even a millimeter of the distance separating you – you stood like that, watching each other; without the need for further conversation, without mutual expectations of who would make the first move. You had your future husband in front of you, and although you still felt a bit lost in this whole bizarre situation, there was not a shred of anxiety in you like there was with John. Bucky was right – it felt good, familiar. Was he supposed to be good to you? You had no idea, but this lack of knowledge did not frighten you.

Suddenly, you felt something cold, wet on the top of your head, face, neck; the rain promised by the cloudy sky, in its own way pleasantly refreshing.

“I should get going. Before it starts to rain for good,” you clarified quickly. “I don’t want to drive when it’s pouring.” 

“Yeah, sure,” he replied with understanding. You were relieved that he didn't treat it as an excuse to run away. 

Bucky left the garage. You expected him to stay so he could continue working on the Chrysler, but he didn't – he decided to walk you, even though he didn't have to. Smiling to yourself, you quickened your pace and eventually caught up with him.

“You haven't told me how it is with you,” Bucky began as you walked side by side. The rain did not rush you; its almost faint intensity allowed you to take this short stroll. “How do you feel about the whole thing?” 

You glanced at Bucky, but immediately looked down, focusing on your own feet. “I'm not as scared as I was before. Maybe I wouldn't even call it scared, but nervous? And that's normal if there's a wedding involved, I guess,” you added without being quite sure who you were trying to comfort. “It's still not an ideal scenario,” you continued, this time more seriously. “But I'm glad it's you. Really.”

Bucky kept his gaze on you for a little longer, but you were unable to fully decode his thoughts. “I'll get the best deal for you. When they’ll be putting the agreement together,” Bucky said. “You know that, right?”

“I knew you wanted the best deal for me when it came to the agreement with Rumlows,” you answered after a moment of hesitation. “But now it's your Family, Bucky.”

“Yeah…” He sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead. You didn't suppose it was possible, but he seemed even more tired than before. “Don’t worry. I got this.” 

That much was enough; those few words from his mouth to actually make you feel calmer. 

You got in your car, Bucky held the door for you, then closed it. You looked out through the rolled-down window. 

“Hey, uh…” he began, scratching nervously behind his ear. “Maybe we should go to marriage therapy or something..?”

Your eyebrows rose involuntarily. “Marriage therapy? We aren't even married yet,” you pointed out. Nonetheless, you felt a pleasant pinch somewhere in your stomach; some familiar jump in your chest. 

“I really don't know how all this works.” He winced. “I don't want to screw it up.”

“Don’t worry. I got this,” you repeated his earlier words, winking at him. Although you weren't an expert yourself, Bucky didn't need to know that. “That's really sweet of you. That you want the best,” you added affectionately. You couldn't let Bucky feel embarrassed by his – not stupid, by the way – suggestion. “But I think you should get some sleep, it will do you good. Even Michael noticed that you look awful.”

“Well, Michael is not my type either.” He lifted his eyebrows with conviction. You snorted a quiet laugh. “But if you think that too… That changes everything.”

You squinted, an indulgent smile remained on your lips. “Wow. That was smooth.”

“Thanks,” he said with theatrical pride. Amused, you rolled your eyes and started the engine, causing Bucky to step away from the car. “Text me when you get home.”

“I won’t. I don't want to wake you. Because you'll be sleeping, right?” you asked, pushing the button that made the window start to close. Bucky smiled through tightened lips and shook his head disapprovingly.

As the day was drawing to an end, combined with the tousled clouds, the sky resembled shreds of pink cotton candy. 

First to get out of the black SUV was Bernie; a big, tall man. Generally, you and Michael shouldn't need a bodyguard on a friend's territory, but getting one was more of a pure procedure. The car was then exited by the driver, for all intents and purposes also a bodyguard; he opened the door for you and offered his hand, helping you out of the higher than usual vehicle. The current situation was reminiscent of the one a few weeks ago, when you were about to meet with Rumlows. The striking difference, however, was that now you didn't feel like you were on death row.

Timothy's house was almost as large as the Barnes mansion, but you didn't give it much thought; even though perhaps you should, that evening you didn't feel like being inquisitive. All you noticed was that the mansion was situated in a more wooded area; there were mostly conifers growing around, and some of the elements outside - such as the big, decorative stones in front of the house – were covered in yellow pollen, indicating that the pines were in bloom.

Michael rang the doorbell and it wasn't long before the housekeeper invited you inside. The decor was dominated by gloomy colors and dark wood; the interior reminded you of a cave. 

You stood nearby the entrance to a huge room, presumably a ballroom after removing an already small amount of furniture. On one of the walls was a huge mirror; in fact, it seemed as if the whole wall was a mirror. Being too far away, you couldn’t get a good look at yourself, but – details aside – had a good view of your entire figure. Michael had mentioned that Barnes had made sure the meeting would be elegant, almost solemn; now you understood better why Bucky had reacted with such contempt towards the fact that Brock had invited you to the pub. And since the talks were also going to be different in terms of the setting, you decided to wear a knee-length satin dress, with thin straps and a cowl neckline. The color of the dress was no accident – blue, like Bucky's eyes.

“Follow me, please,” the housekeeper addressed you and Michael with a polite smile. It was then that the stress began to get to you; walking behind the woman, you listened to the clatter of your own heels, so as not to think about what might await you.

The housekeeper led you to a dining room. It was pretty clear that you would see Timothy, but to your surprise, there was also Steve Rogers, sitting next to him at a long table. The one you couldn't find anywhere around was Bucky, causing the panic you were feeling to grow to enormous sizes. Were you supposed to handle it yourself? Or did he give up completely?

Warm hands touched your shoulders a little above the elbows, and embraced them gently with fingers. You immediately looked back, but before you did, a familiar scent of fresh laundry, mint and wet forest reached you, combined with a much more distinct hint of men's perfume and cigarette smoke.

“Hey,” Bucky said quietly, not wanting to draw the attention of the others. “Can I get through?” He raised an eyebrow. Indeed, you were standing close to the entrance of the dining room, yet far away enough that Bucky could easily get past you.

“I thought you'd changed your mind,” you whispered, making a step forward. Bucky took his hands and you turned to his direction. He was wearing a black, tailored suit and a shirt of the same color; he had undone the first two buttons under his neck, most likely allowing himself as much freedom as he could. His hair was tied up tightly in a bun; nevertheless, a few strands managed to escape. 

“I didn't. And not going to,” he claimed calmly. His mouth stretched in a lazy, shameless smirk. “You look like an angel.” 

You felt your cheeks grow warm with the blush spreading over them, but other than that, you didn't give away that the compliment had gone to your head. “Thank you. You're not so bad yourself.” 

“James,” Timothy spoke.

Bucky glanced at him, then returned his gaze to you soon after. “Come on,” he instructed, instinctively placing his hand at your lower back, which you didn't mind in any way. 

Shortly after, you took a seat at the table; just like at that meeting at your house, you and Michael on one side, Timothy, Bucky and Steve on the other.

Timothy opened the folder lying in front of him. Having pulled several copies of the document from inside, he gave them out one by one. “We have here those conditions which, after consultations, I considered most appropriate. However, we can still negotiate,” he turned to you. 

Everyone at the table had some idea of the mentioned conditions; the agreement was arranged without consulting you. And you had no problem with that, because the truth was you didn't know what you could ask for. Besides, Michael cared about your Family and your father's business, and Bucky promised you the best deal. 

Deciding not to waste any more time further delaying the moment which was going to happen anyway, you turned your gaze to the document in front of you.

(...) JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES hereinafter referred to as the HUSBAND, and Y/N Y/L/S hereinafter referred to as the WIFE.

These words were the first to catch your eye, and their meaning sent a shiver down your spine. You didn't pay much attention to the introduction, containing your and Bucky's personal data,  in addition, being a pure formality, but this one point was like a bucket of cold water. You were aware of the purposes of this meeting, but seeing the titles that were going to work not only on the paper, but soon in life, felt... strange. 

You ran your gaze lower, absorbing line after line of text.

The HUSBAND is obliged to do everything in his power to ensure the safety of the WIFE (...)

The HUSBAND possesses the funds due and is obliged to provide financial comfort to the WIFE. The WIFE is authorized to dispose of the HUSBAND's funds for her own purposes; the amount shall not exceed ...[add]... per month.

The WIFE agrees to transfer to the HUSBAND and the BARNES FAMILY control of her tangible goods, property, etc. including:

Sapphire Dune Casino, New York, State of New York;

Marble Aurora Casino, Atlantic City, State of New Jersey; (...)

A list of your goods and properties included everything Michael had talked about at the meeting with Rumlows – the casinos, shares in the stock market, arms dealing for Stark, the territory, the protection of businesses in that territory, political influence... Things you didn't know much about. Except for one you didn't find.

“What about my gallery?” 

“It's not a part of the deal. I've heard that you want it for yourself and I'm fine with that.” Timothy shrugged.

You knew it was to Bucky's credit; that he had done something you didn't have to ask him to do. Apparently he remembered that during your meeting with Rumlows, keeping the art gallery was your only requirement.

“And the real estates?” 

“We don’t need them,” Timothy stated right away. “They will be given to your mother and your sister, if you wish, of course.”“Yes,” you agreed, a bit caught off guard by Timothy's generosity. “It would be great.”

Any funds, property benefits, etc. resulting from the activities mentioned above shall be divided between the HUSBAND and the WIFE; 50% (funds/value of property benefits) for the HUSBAND and 50% for the WIFE.

The HUSBAND is obligated to inform the WIFE of all actions carried out on the goods and properties mentioned above. No final decision shall be made without the WIFE's prior consent.

Having read the elements of the contract that interested you most – mainly because you understood them without Michael's help – you pulled your gaze away from the sheet again and looked at Timothy. He slowly slid a pen across the table.

After signing the document, which was more of a pre-agreement – confirmation that you and Michael had seen all the points, you needed a change of scenery. At least for a moment.

Called by Timothy, the housekeeper brought alcohol and a small refreshment, and you took the opportunity to ask for directions to the toilet. Although it was time to settle the details of the wedding, you decided that they would do just as well without you.

You wet your hands with icy water, then placed them on the nape of your neck. Closing your eyes, you let out a heavy breath. If everything had become too real before, it was now beginning to take root in you.

You jumped, hearing a careful knock on the door. “Y/N?” You recognised Bucky's voice effortlessly, so without hesitation you went to open the door for him. “You okay?” he asked, visibly concerned. 

“Yeah, yeah…” You gasped.

“Come on.” He opened the door a little wider. “We're going to get some air.”

You nodded and left the bathroom. Bucky led you to the terrace doors, from where you walked out into the garden – unlike Winnifred's garden, the one belonging to Timothy consisted mainly of lawn and undemanding flowerless plants. 

The rigid material of the jacket rested gently on your shoulders. You glanced over at Bucky, who was left in just his shirt.

“Having lots of muscles must be great, huh? It is protecting you from the cold?” 

Bucky laughed. “Yeah.” Soon, however, only a light smile was left on his face. “Was that so bad?”

“Surprisingly good,” you objected. “Why is this deal so... perfect?” 

Slipping his hands into his pockets, he shrugged. “That's probably the only perfect thing that will come out of marrying a gangster.”

You tried not to think about this prophecy. “And Timothy just agreed to all this?”

“Yeah. As long as I know what I'm doing. He also said I’m doing it at my own risk, so…” 

As you lifted your eyes from the lawn and brought them to Bucky, you caught his gaze. He was studying you with calm, gentleness. 

“I need you to promise me one more thing,” he said. Although his face did not express anything threatening, you felt a slight uneasiness. You gave him a questioning look. “I'll be the best husband I can be, and I'll do anything you want me to do, but you have to promise me-” he paused for a brief moment. “If you ever love someone, I have to know. You will tell me.”

“Bucky-”

“Please,” he insisted, his voice cracking barely audibly.

Staring at him cluelessly, you let out a short breath through slightly parted lips. “Okay,” you gave up. “I’ll tell you. I promise.”

“Thank you. Now, stick your hands out,” he instructed. You frowned, but followed the command anyway. Bucky pulled his hands out of his pockets, one clenched into a fist, the other gently grabbed your left hand. He loosened his fist and inside it you noticed a small velour box; he opened it, revealing a ring. Gold, with a large gemstone in the shape of a pointed ellipse, and smaller stones surrounding it. “It was my grandma's.”

Hearing this, you reflexively pulled your hand back, but Bucky strengthened his grip. “Are you kidding? I can't take it!”

“You can. And you will.” He raised his eyebrows, got the ring out of the box and slipped it onto the right finger. “See? It fits.”

“You’re right,” you agreed, bringing your hand closer to your face to scrutinize the ring. “It's really beautiful,” you admitted honestly. “But are you sure it's a good idea? Giving a family heirloom to me?”

“I’m sure,” he claimed after some silence, but without the slightest hesitation. “From the moment we get into this marriage you will be protected by my Family. By my name. And by my own body,” he said with a strange calmness, while your heart was racing faster and faster. “You are the right person to wear this ring.”

“Oh, Jamie…” you whined. “Don't even say such things.”

“I don't have to say these things, and you know it.”

a/n: feel free to share your thoughts, they are more than welcomed 🥰

taglist: @goldensunflowe-r @nefri-black @vickie5446 @learisa @sjsmith56 @aya-fay @hhiggs @wishingwell-2 @buckysgirl01 @emily-roberts @prettylittlepluviophile @leaaa008 @itvy5601 @melsunshine @pattiemac1 @marvel-fandom23 @rabbitrabbit12321 @xsecretsirenx @heyyitsreign

[serafiel-jacobs]

Soul (Fanfic)

New chapter from my main series 🩷

Pinocchio was reading the notebook, trying to find a way to show Sophia the contents. The parts Pinocchio could understand at least and try for Sophia to make sense of it.

“I guess you are going to have to read it out loud for me to try and make sense of it” Sophia can't look at the words since well, she is at least 4 countries away from him.

“Mmm okay” Pinocchio had a smile on his face.

Sophia was happy to be able to hear him read out loud, Pinocchio loves reading so surely he is great at narrating.

“The… um, anime no, anima? Is the power- power-source of, of the link be-bewt-between, um…”

“Pinocchio…” Sophia sounded concerned, “Are you able to read the words properly?” She thought that maybe Pinocchio was in need of glasses.

No, he is just bad at reading out loud.

Sophia found it a little amusing “Well, time to tell your father to prioritize this” Sophia then asked Pinocchio to tell Gemini to read out loud the words for him, she can at least hear what others say.

—--𖦹—--

Anima

Ergo is one's essence and by concentrating that essence, cleansing it into its purest form the result is the anima. Anime is the power source of the

(The words have been crossed out, even at the back of the page, making them completely ineligible) The link between the potential of humanity and its ability to thrive. Anima has more than just healing properties, it can increase physical strength, and create resistance to certain afflictions including immunity to poisons, truly the key to a longer life for humanity, a wonder in terms of medicine, consuming it has shown to cure even the deathliest of illnesses, rumor has said it has the possibility to cure bone fractions although this theory hasn't been confirmed, needing further study.

Unfortunately, Anima is extremely rare to acquire, Ergo already is hard to get, and the process of converting Ergo into Anima can take up to months only for a small amount to be possible to obtain, as of now, Anima does not seem to be worth the effort.

Concentrating the research on Ergo itself is the top priority, sadly harnessing the power of Anima is…

—--𖦹—--

The end of the sentence was blurred, the rest of the page was in a language neither Pinocchio nor Gemini could understand.

“Seriously Pinocchio you couldn’t read that?” Gemini was acting too sassy today.

“Well can’t be good at everything!” Pinocchio already feels as if he has a lot of good skills and this isn’t a big deal and he can read in his mind perfectly well.

“Listen-”

But Pinocchio didn’t listen to Gemini, instead, he grabbed him, put him inside his cage, and began to shake him. Sophia laughed it’s always amusing when he does that.

Gemini came out of his cage spinning, “Okay, maybe I went too far, but you are still a brat”

“I believe I have heard of this” Sometimes her father would teach her things related to alchemy so she has a good amount of knowledge, maybe as much as an alchemist. But her father taught her all that behind her mother’s back and once she found out she forbade her from learning more.

Her mother was serious about it, her father even slept on the couch for a few days.

When she was a child, sometimes she felt as if her mother disliked her but she was always so loving and caring. Yet everything that had to do with her power as a listener made her mother angry, now she knows that she just wanted to protect her. Plus if her mother was truly against the learning of alchemy she would have never married her father, Sophia can understand now that her mother was afraid that others could learn of her power and unfortunately, that fear became true.

“Your father holds a good amount of knowledge about Ergo as well, I find it would be best to speak with him about this, he can help us even more”

“Father is at work right now” And he actually looked really happy about going to work unlike recently as they were going to test something new, his father tried explaining it to him but he had no clue what his father was talking about, when he gets too passionate about his work, he forgets other can’t understand the special terminology.

“In the meantime, we could look for a way for others to hear my voice” Sophia wonders if an invention like a pocket phone could exist in the future, oh well, maybe that is something for Venigni to think of.

“Why not use a stargazer?” As long as he is touching it, Sophia could use the Ergo wavelengths to communicate with others.

Sophia smiled, “That’s a great idea clever one”

“Hello? What is she saying Pinocchio?” Gemini couldn’t hear her after all.

After explaining, Gemini was in deep thought, “But where can we get one?”

They can’t use the one at Hotel Krat now that is back in business, they could buy one but they are rather expensive and Pinocchio doesn’t have any more allowance money left.

“Thank you for that Gemini” Pinocchio frowned, looking annoyed.

“Come on, you love spending money on me” Gemini chirped, teasing his best pal.

“Since they are mainly used by stalkers, I am sure one of them could have one to spare” Sophia knows that stalkers are trained on how to build stargazers since it is their main method of transportation.

Pinocchio smiled, he knew just who to see about this.

—-

“A stargazer? Sure we have the parts for a spare one lying around” Black Cat was glad to see Pinocchio again so soon and didn’t mind fulfilling his request.

“Although I do warn you, stargazers are regulated, you can’t suddenly use one to transport somewhere, they will ask you to identify yourself as a stalker” Red Fox explains to him how there are new regulations when it comes to using stargazers.

“Why do you need one in the first place?” Black Cat was looking around in a closet for all the parts.

“Um…secret?” Pinocchio knows that he can’t tell anyone about Sophia, not even them and he respects her privacy.

“Ooh how fun, if you get in trouble don’t blame us though, your family is already mad enough at us as it is” Black Cat had found all the pieces and set them inside a box.

“For once, I agree with my brother” Red Fox looked at how her brother rolled his eyes behind his mask, “But before you leave, how about we treat you to lunch? You are always helping us out, so why not return it with this small favor?

“I’m sorry, I don’t have any money left” Pinocchio glared at Gemini again and the cricket just started chirping a tune and pretending to act innocent.

“Please, it's our treat this time, we owe it to you” Red Fox smiled, knowing they would spend a great time together.

—-

“Well his father is going to kill us” Black Cat is panicking.

They went to eat at a spicy food restaurant, they insisted he should try new flavors and as it turns out, Pinocchio can’t handle spicy food at all. He feels as if he is overheating and he can feel his springs moving faster to try and stop it, not to mention how he feels dizzy.

“It’s okay, this will pass” Red Fox knows that this is just eating spicy food, things like this aren’t a big deal.

As usual, things are not normal when it comes to Pinocchio and his unique body, the overheating sensation simply isn’t stopping and he already tried using an ampoule but since his body isn’t actually overheating it’s not working. Sometimes Pinocchio feels as if his body confuses his human parts with his mechanical parts, causing conflicting issues like this.

“This is all your fault! You are the one who made him taste that habanero!” Black Cat was mad at his sister.

“I thought that you know…” She thought that because he is partly a puppet, he would be able to handle it.

“It’s okay I think I’m-“ Pinocchio could feel a burning sensation in his throat, but at least he wasn’t dizzy anymore, “bEtTer noW”

Pinocchio grabbed his throat and tried to speak again, his voice sounding too mechanical because his voice box had been damaged.

“Oh dear” Gemini knew this would end badly.

“FUCK he really is going to kill us now” Black Cat is already planning his will in his head.

“Brother shut up, we can think of something” Red Fox was acting calm but deep down she was also in full panic mode, “Is there anyone else that might help with this? One that won’t get angry at us?”

Lady Antonia is out of the question, Eugéne is a good choice but even if she did work at the union her skill mastery will always be weapons so that only leaves one other person.

“Master Venigni, you have guests” A maid had let them inside, all the staff already knew Pinocchio and they were aware to let him in, even if coming unannounced. They were in luck that it was one of those days Venigni doesn’t work at the union and deals with other private affairs at his home.

Venigni was happy to see Pinocchio, not so happy about seeing the two of them, specially because he needed to talk to Pinocchio in private about the situation, but there was still a little more he must do, it could wait.

“I want to help you Pinocchio but I am not sure your father would be happy about me snooping around your body” Venigni still remembers back then, after he returned safely to Hotel Krat and made his way to see Geppetto upstairs, he opened his mouth but couldn’t speak a word.

“No” That was all Geppetto had said, because he knew what he wanted to ask, no you can’t know how I built him even if we are close friends. No to any following questions you might have and no, I will not change my mind.

“pREtTy PleAsE” Even when his voice is broken Pinocchio sounds cute.

“Yeah, pretty please!” Black Cat was begging him, “And we are really sorry for leaving you all alone back then, we swear!”

“You have our truly and deepest sincerest apologies our past behavior was inexcusable” Red Fox was begging as well, “And the faster he heals the better, isn’t that right?”

That is true, the faster you fix things, the easier it is to avoid further problems. Not to mention there is no need to stress Geppetto over this simple situation.

“Alright, I guess I have no choice, however,” Venigni stared at the two of them, he still couldn’t trust them and he was already doing them a huge favor by not saying anything to Geppetto, “I will ask the two of you to leave”

“That’s perfectly fine” Red Fox was just so relieved and turned to look at Pinocchio, “We will deliver the stargazer to your home today”

Black Cat had almost forgotten about that “We will leave it a the door, waiting for you”

They both were making their way out, and an argument started.

“You are the one who suggested spicy food so you are going to carry it” For once it was Black Cat the one scolding his sister.

“Ugh fine” Red Fox knew that it would be a pain, why does Geppetto have to leave so far away?

The argument turned into friendly sibling bickering, it was good to try and relax. Unfortunately for them, they didn’t know someone had caught a glimpse of them walking away from the mansion.

“Mmm interesting” Sabertooth was looking from not too far away, maybe this information could be of use to her new client.

—-

“Now about that voice”

Venigni had taken Pinocchio aside to his personal workshop, Pulcinella was outside guarding as it was best no one suddenly entered. Pinocchio had taken off his shirt as he usually does with this situation, and indicated to Venigni where to look.

It’s not just in his chest, Pinocchio has a few buttons in his body that look like moles but they can be opened to reveal secret compartments.

“Why that’s such a genius design! I can’t believe Geppetto made them look so natural, and how evenly proportional each compartment is to its respective part, oh and the-”

“Ahem,” Gemini had to stop Venigni from fanboying about Pinocchio’s design.

“Right, sorry” Venigni took a good look before seeing the problem, “It looks like a few of your cables accidentally got mixed up”

Venigni has plenty of experience with this, from his work and from when Pulcinella was damaged by Fueco as it happened to him as well. The most logical explanation is that Pinocchio’s body tried to counterattack what it believed to be overheating in his throat, the mechanism trying to find a solution by rearranging itself. Thankfully for Venigni, Pinocchio’s throat is one of his fully mechanical parts, there is no need to worry about him doing damage to the boy’s human side.

Pinocchio said a few words, he was back to normal but Venigni suggested he try not to speak so as not to restrain his voice. Venigni is aware of what Geppetto has been dealing with and making him worry even more about Pinocchio over a simple issue like this is not ideal.

“I’m glad I could help” Venigni played with Pinocchio’s hair, “Not a word about this to your father, and promise me you won’t reveal the truth this time”

“I promise” Pinocchio knows that this is far more serious than him getting accidentally drunk, his uncle and his two siblings could be in serious trouble for this.

—-

When Geppetto got home, Pinocchio had finished assembling the stargazer, after a quick explanation, Pinocchio touched the stargazer signaling to Sophia that everything was ready.

“Can you all hear me?” It was working as intended, Pinocchio was excited that it was all according to plan.

“Geppetto do you remember years ago when my father showed you around our home?” Sophia was only 10 years old yet she remembers most of what transpired, rarely did anyone visit them.

“Yes, Carlo came with me that day, Romeo came as well” Geppetto had told both to spend time with Sophia, Valentinus looked happy about that, they needed to talk in private.

“What you do not know is that I hid away in the room” Sophia was always intrigued about her father's work, “I recall the conversation, later I asked my father for more information and he was happy to clarify”

Her father was very kind, intelligent, and caring, but also very oblivious, Sophia overheard his conversations with others all the time and never got caught, her mother did catch her, and she was furious, Sophia simply got better at hiding.

“I thought you were supposed to be spending time with the two of them” Geppetto was confused.

“Uhhh about that…” Sophia has no choice but to confess, “They kind of went outside to play a prank on someone” Apparently one of Carlo's school bullies lived near her home.

“What?” Geppetto facepalmed he should have figured Carlo was capable of doing something like that, he couldn't help himself and smiled, remembering his mischievousness.

“It's my fault, I wanted to spy on my father from the start” Not a hobby most kids that age like so the two of them ditched her; now that she thinks about it she was a weird kid, Sophia remembers how her parents scolded her for keeping a bug sanctuary on her closet as it ruined most of her clothes, then years later she got in big trouble because she did a little experiment, her father was amused, her mother wasn't, apparently it is not acceptable to use your hair to harvest caterpillars going through the metamorphosis stage. To give credit to her mother, she built her a bug sanctuary for herself in their home, to this day Sophia is surprised at how her mother surprised her with that, one day she woke up and her mother had a surprise, a beautiful place in their garden for her to do all of her endeavors.

“You are just like your father you know that?” Sophia remembers her mother's voice, “So oblivious, you could have just asked me for one, no need to hide those creatures in your room”

Sophia smiled, she was so delighted.

“And keep your experiments here and not in your hair,” Her mother laughed, “You better not steal your father's equipment young miss”

Her mother knew her too well, Sophia remembers those moments with fondness.

“So is this about his canceled project from years ago?” Geppetto has a good memory despite his age.

“Correct” Sophia stated, “He asked you for permission to use the factory to run a test and you said no”

Pinocchio wanted to ask why but remembered he should not speak much, besides he would find out soon enough.

“I couldn't close the entire factory because of that, even if it was for a day, considering how he told me he wasn't even sure if it would work, I, unfortunately, had to decline” Not to mention that by that time his relationship with Valentinus had become a bit strained considering what happened with Camille, “Is this about Anima then?”

“Also correct” Sophia was glad that Geppetto was following along nicely, “Now your help would be appreciated, my father said he wanted to use one of the furnaces from the factory to make Anima, why is that?”

Sophia's memory then becomes a little fuzzy after that since she was just a child, the next thing she remembers is getting into a dumb argument with Carlo because he thought crickets and grasshoppers were the same bug and Carlo was too stubborn to listen to her, although in his defense she shouldn't have basically shoved in his face the two bugs so that he could see the difference properly, that backfired because they ended up jumping in Carlo's hair and he panicked trying to take them out, Romeo was just watching finding it all so amusing.

“Anima can only be made in extremely high temperatures with concentrated amounts of Ergo” Geppetto knew that Valentinus was excited about the project, “I had to say no since it could accidentally cause an explosion”

“An explosion?” Gemini didn't like where this was going.

“We could make the anima in small amounts, concentrate the Ergo, purify it, and mold it, only at best a dozen at a time, I did consider building a puppet similar to Fueco for the job, as it needed some sort of core to absorb the power” Geppetto let out a sigh, “Valentinus said that small amounts wouldn't work for what he planned so he gave up on it, he did try to convince me more than once, actually last time he tried to convince me was when…”

Geppetto stayed quiet, the last time the day before Valentinus and Isabelle passed away, the day before Simon killed them.

“Geppetto I know this time you will finally agree!” Valentinus looked delighted, “I found a way for the Anima to absorb the heat without much hassle”

Geppetto wondered how he got into his office unannounced, past security when the reputation of the alchemist was going downhill due to the petrification disease, many hated Valentinus since he was their leader, the public enemy they could blame.

“Really what did you find?” Despite everything, Valentinus was his friend.

Someone he trusted and cared for, over time, Geppetto became less fond of the alchemists' activities but he knew Valentinus was a good man, he wasn't the only good alchemist, and there were many like him who wanted to help others, alchemists who Simon got rid of after killing Valentinus. Simon also was his friend once, yet unlike Valentinus, Simon never made the effort to try and fix things, obviously because Geppetto now knows the man was a psychopath with a lust for power.

“What exactly did you find?” Geppetto is a man of invention so couldn't deny how interesting it is to learn something new.

“When combined with disruption crystals, there is no longer instability, we will be able to fully control the outcome, I know, ironic considering name the name of the crystals and their original use” Valentinus sat down, his happy demeanor changing suddenly, he looked tired, “I was hoping this could work, it is the only cure I can think off for the petrification disease”

Valentinus looked defeated, back then he said something strange before leaving, it is clear now what happened and what he meant.

“I think I might die”

“I can understand perfectly well how stressful work is, even more with this health crisis” Geppetto was trying to reassure him.

“I'm worried about Isabelle, I am even more worried about Sophia” Valentinus looked frantic, like a tiger in a cage, “I made a mistake Geppetto, I was so stupid, I shouldn't have-”

“Valentinus calm down” Geppetto was getting more worried, “Whatever that illness is, you are a smart man, you can figure this out, I will make preparations you only need to tell me what I have to do”

“It's my fault the disease spread, I was so blind to everything” Valentinus kept speaking frantically, “I was so obvious as usual, no I was so stupid”

Geppetto opened his mouth again but Valentinus didn't let him speak.

“Geppetto you don't understand, Sophia…” Valentinus clenched his fists, “I can't let anyone hurt her, you are a father too, what would you do if you lost Carlo?”

“Please Valentinus don't say that!” He didn't even want to think about the possibility, “Look I get that this hard, a lot of people hate you, some would even go as far as to hurt your family”

Geppetto stood up and got closer to Valentinus, putting a hand on his shoulder, “I know this situation won't get better magically, what matters is to stay focused, if you are too concerned perhaps it would be a good idea to find shelter for Isabelle and Sophia”

Valentinus still looked uneasy, “That… could work”

“I believe in you, you are a good man Valentinus”

“Tomorrow there is an event in the charity house” Valentinus stood up preparing to leave, “My wife and Sophia have to be there, as soon as that's done, I'm taking them out of Krat”

“Father?” Pinocchio asked, his father had remained silent for too long.

Geppetto was snapped out of his trance, “I'm sorry I was remembering something” He then explained what he was told by Valentinus.

“Wait…” Geppetto was making the connection, “Disruption Crystals are on the decline for the past few months”

Geppetto had found that odd, there are supposed to be plenty in the many of mines and caves that Krat has, in the past it was even a nuisance because you could accidentally find some while constructing buildings, he doubts they suddenly went on the decline so fast.

“If I remember correctly” Sophia spoke up, “When the petrification disease was being spread, when Simon took over my father's position, he started lying about Ergo and where it was coming from”

Sophia heard a lot of things while trapped in that tower, her memories are mixed, specially because there are a lot of things she would rather not remember how… how her uncle Simon come to “talk” with her, the things he said to her, he was obsessed with her… she better stop thinking about that now, she is starting to shake by remembering it.

It's true, the alchemist gave them less Ergo to work with, with worse quality, “It seems like it's all happening again but what do they want this time?” Geppetto was at a loss.

“Um,” Pinocchio thinks he knows the answer, “Maybe the same thing? Or something similar?”

When Pinocchio was at Arche Abbey he found a lot of weird things relating to seeking immortal life, or bettering humanity, or crazy talk about human evolution.

“If anima makes your health better then maybe that's why they want it,” Pinocchio said.

“It makes perfect sense, although obviously they want it for nefarious reasons” Sophia smiled from where she was, “Thank you, clever one”

Pinocchio smiled, he felt so smart. He then realized that his father had not said a thing about his voice, which meant that he didn't have to worry anymore.

“Well, we have to worry not only about that but also about the King of Riddles” Gemini has this bad feeling that Arlecchino will be the one to strike first.

“Whatever threat might come first, I will always be by your side Pinocchio, no matter the distance” Sophia reassured him but then took a serious tone, “Although do be careful, I am not close, therefore I cannot bring you back if you were to…”

Pinocchio understood perfectly well, and Sophia can't go back to Krat, not after the fact they were already looking for her or any listener. She is safe far away and with this new method of communication, things can work so much better.

“Sophia if you ever need our help as well, we can figure something out” Geppetto wanted to let her know she can also count on them.

“Actually I need to take you up on the offer” Sophia began to ask questions about her body and how to repair herself if something bad were to happen, not to mention she felt she needed some maintenance.

“Do you have anything near you so you can write it down?” Geppetto was glad to help.

Pinocchio paid close attention, this was also important for him, he knows the basics but things like these are useful to know, even more with the previous situation. —

Venigni had arrived at the factory, a lot of things were on his mind yesterday, mainly about Pinocchio’s systems, who wouldn’t be curious about that? He only caught a surface glimpse of what Pinocchio is made of. And if could only make a similar body to Pulcinella at the very least add some great updates… no Venigni calm down, Pinocchio is special and one of a kind, he respects his autonomy and he respects Geppetto. Just let your work distract you from those ideas. Ugh, he hates his inventor mind sometimes, when you see advanced technology many times your first instinct is how can I do it and how can I make it better, Pinocchio is more than just a puppet, and even if he was a regular puppet he doesnt need the stress of people thinking about him that way; now he felt guilty of his thoughts.

Venigni opened the door to his office and sitting on his chair was Geppetto waiting for him, arms and legs crossed, glaring at him.

“You know don’t you?” Venigni was wondering how his funeral was going to be, “How?” He did everything perfectly, there is no way he should have found out.

“I’m his father I know these things” Geppetto was playing dumb since Sophia was saying important information, “And I made him, I know everything about him, even things he doesn’t realize”

“That’s quite impressive” That’s what Venigni wanted to say but it was best to keep quiet until Geppetto spoke to him.

“I had to interrogate Gemini since I knew Pinocchio would just lie to me” Geppetto found out all the details and Pinocchio just looked away in shame.

“Needless to say I am not allowing him to see those stalkers again” His son was upset but Pinocchio had been lying to him about where he was going each time he saw them and even if it was an accident, Geppetto just had too much of a grudge against them. They kidnapped him and even if it wasn’t them but rather the Black Rabbit Brotherhood who vandalized Hotel Krat, they still did nothing to stop them and aided the alchemists.

Venigni does understand because he doesn’t like them either, first, they left him to fend for himself at the factory while he cowered in fear in that room he could have died at any moment; second, when Hotel Krat was attacked he felt so powerless, the stalkers came so suddenly. Although it was impressive to see Polendina carry Antonia upstairs, he wasn’t aware of how strong he was but maybe Polendina was too worried about her safety and got a boost of strength at the moment. All of them had no choice but to barricade themselves, even when Geppetto right away told them to just take him and leave the rest alone, The Black Rabbit Brotherhood still wanted to terrorize them, because Pinocchio had killed their brother so they were out for blood as well, Venigni is sure that if they weren’t there to kidnap Geppetto they would have killed him as revenge.

Geppetto had a calm look on his face “Look, after thinking about this more, I’m not mad”

“…You aren’t?” Venigni didn’t believe him at all.

“I’m not” Geppetto got closer to him, “I can understand that you only wanted what was best for him at the moment, I also appreciate not wanting to worry me about his health”

Venigni let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you for understanding”

“Not to mention I asked you to take care of him when I’m gone, it’s only fair you know more about him in case something like this happens when I’m no longer around”

Geppetto has already been re-writing the notes he took while building his son so that they can be passed down to Venigni when he dies, also it’s good to have the actual notes in good writing and not in his emotional mess state.

Venigni was touched, he couldn’t believe that Geppetto trusted him with his son that much.

Geppetto was smiling as he grabbed Venigni’s shoulders, it was all great until Geppetto’s voice changed to a somber one, the murderous intent loud and clear, despite how quiet Geppetto’s voice was.

“But until then, never, ever do that again, you are going to forget what you saw, that never happened, don’t mention it, don’t even dare to think about it” Geppetto had a tighter grip, “Don't you ever do that again as long as I live”

“Okay,” Venigni’s voice sounded like a whisper, Geppetto's paranoia about anything happening to Pinocchio is strong today, probably his mind making a million scenarios of why everything could have gone wrong. Also, his inventor instinct to protect his secrets, Pinocchio truly is the greatest puppet to ever be created, even before he started becoming partially human the boy was beyond impressive, beyond what everyone had done before.

“Great!” Geppetto was back to normal, “Now, Conrad didn’t come to work today so it’s going to be a good day”

Geppetto was in high spirits and Venigni felt as if he had gotten out of a roller coaster, It was not the first time Venigni had seen Geppetto switch emotions so quickly and he had never gotten used to it, now he was talking about work, and what they got to test yesterday, how it was a shame that he wasn’t there to see the success and the results.

Venigni took a deep breath, “Geppetto”

“Huh, yes?” Geppetto was too consumed talking about the project.

“You have issues you know that?”

“I know” Geppetto made his way towards the door, “Don’t worry I’m working on that”

[etherrreal]

“when you pass out at practice”

Pairing: tsukishima x reader ; kyotani x reader ; aone x reader Genre: comfort-fluff ; drabbles & headcanons Summary: the reader hasn’t been taking care of herself which leads to her passing out at practice  Word Count: 2295 Warnings: fainting, or passing out, from sleep deprivation/not eating/heat exhaustion, some explicit language because i’m an adult A/N: thanks for the fun request! i took a little bit of artistic liberties with the scenario to keep it from being so repetitive so I hope you don’t mind! -Luna

it was rare that you had a beautiful sunny day on a weekend with no chores to attend to or work to complete

so when your boyfriend Tsukishima texted you and asked you to come join him for casual volleyball practice outside, you decided to take him up on that opportunity

however, not even a cap and some cold water could stave off heat exhaustion

Despite it being 95°F and so humid that the air feels thick when you breathe, it is a beautiful day outside. The sky is completely clear of clouds; the sun is shining directly on you as you, your boyfriend, and Yamaguchi head out to practice at the open field nearby Karasuno. The change of scenery was refreshing and even with it feeling just as hot as it usually does inside the school gym, the occasional breeze and lack of sweaty stench was a huge welcomed change. 

There’s very little shade provided by the trees, but you lay out a small blanket under the nearest one anyway. You become the bag and bottle keeper when Tsukishima and Yamaguchi hand you their items, your boyfriend dropping it haphazardly onto the blanket while Yamaguchi delicately places it down with a ‘thank you.’ 

You usually don’t get to see Tsukishima practice, seeing as his normal practices run until the dead of night, so it was fun watching them set and serve the ball back and forth. When the occasional ball lands by your feet, you get the chance to enjoy setting it back to them, even if it often falls short or misses the target completely. 

“Thank god you’re not on our team,” Tsukishima teases, as he watches the ball you set fall 6 feet away from him.

“Yeah, because I’d kick your ass. I know I’m a threat, and you should fear me,” you retort sarcastically. Before he turns away to retrieve the ball, you see him crack a small smile at your tomfoolery. 

However, after a few hours of getting up and down repeatedly to send the balls back under the beating sun, your head starts to pound. Your body is radiating so much heat it makes you want to remove your skin. You know it’s just a matter of time before you start feeling physically ill, as well. You loosen your cap and drink some cold water in hopes that it will relieve some of the tension, but you just feel the same.

You decide to lay down on the blanket, cap laid over your face to block out the sun. You don’t know if you passed out or if you simply tuned out everything around you for a bit, but you jump when you suddenly feel something wet and cold touching your neck.

You reach up to swat it away, thinking it was a bug when you hear Tsukishima’s voice. “Stop that. I’m trying to help you, dummy.” 

Relief washed over you to know that it wasn’t a beetle crawling up your neck but instead your stoic boyfriend pressing his plastic water bottle there to cool you down.

“Yamaguchi thought you died,” he brought up suddenly. “He actually ran to the store to get some more water after I told him to stop overreacting.”

You chuckle, picturing Yamaguchi already mourning over your body just because you were lying down with a cap over your face. “It’s sweet that he cares though, in his own weird way.”

Suddenly, the sky and Tsukishima’s crouching figure are in full view as he flicks the hat off of your face, feeling annoyed that you praised his friend and not him. “What do you think I’m doing, huh?” 

“Aww, do you want me to tell you how you’re the bestest, sweetest, most handsome boyfriend I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing, and that I’m so grateful that you’ve graced me with your help?” you whine in a sarcastic tone, making grabby hands at the tall blond hovering over you.

He slaps your hands away, knowing that if you get your hands on him, you’d squeeze his cheeks and ruffle his hair like you always do. “Well, that’s the last time I ever take care of you.” 

You know he doesn’t mean it and that, if you were ever in some form of peril, he would casually stroll rush to your rescue to make sure you’re okay. You hope that when you look up at him he can see how much you appreciate his efforts.

“Thank you, Kei,” you say sincerely.

“Yeah, whatever.” He sounds dismissive, but you can tell by the scrunched eyebrows and soft look in his eyes as he gazes down at you how much he worries about your well-being, and you’re genuinely grateful to have him be your unofficial nurse. 

you heard from some classmates that your math teacher was seen printing out math quizzes

*cue studious panic*

 you decided to completely skip lunch and use that time in the library to hit the books hard

your stomach was rumbling, your head was hurting, and your vision would become spotty if you stood up too quickly

you completed your quiz at the end of the day, but by then, you were starving and ready to get something to eat

in your panic, you forgot that you were supposed to meet kyotani after school so you could force him to go to practice that day (or else Iwaizumi would have your ass)

he heard your stomach make monstrous noises and when you let him know you hadn’t eaten, he looked more upset than usual to see you not taking care of yourself

“Let’s skip practice and get some food,” he suggests.

“What? So you can skip out on one of the few practices you go to? Absolutely not!” you reprimand.

“But you need to eat.”

“Look at you being a sweet boyfriend who cares,” you tease, watching him roll his eyes like he’s annoyed, but the pink hue dusting his cheeks says otherwise. “I’ll be fine. I should have an extra granola bar in my bag somewhere.” 

"Whatever, if you say so." He turns his body diagonally, a gesture you know means 'walk with me.' Kyotani has never been keen on PDA, but one thing you have noticed is that he prefers for you to walk directly by his side at all times. To others, it may look like he’s uninterested in you, but you can tell by how often his arm brushes yours that it’s his way of showing affection. 

You stroll across campus together, enjoying a quiet conversation with Kyotani about your day thus far. It doesn’t take long for you to reach the gym entrance, already hearing the balls slamming against the ground inside. You both switch out your shoes before walking in, him going to join his teammates and you finding a seat on the sidelines, seeing Iwaizumi give you a thumbs up for your job well done. 

You take a moment to search through your bag for that granola bar you mentioned earlier. After sifting through books, loose notes, and forgotten pencils and pens, you realize you have no snack to tide you over until the end of practice. 

The market is just down the road. I could probably go pick something up and be back quickly.

You wave Iwaizumi over, figuring you’ll tell him your plans while Kyotani is distracted so he won’t follow you out. You see his back turned to you as Oikawa speaks to the rest of the team, gesturing wildly with a volleyball in hand. 

As Iwaizumi gets closer, you stand up and immediately begin to sway. Your vision grows spotted, and your head feels like it’s floating. 

You hear Kyotani yell out your name before everything goes black.

When you wake up, the lights are beaming overhead as you lay in some sort of bed. Once you’re coherent enough, you sit up, looking around to see that you’re in the school nurse’s office. You pick up your hand to hold your still aching head when you notice a very angry Kyotani attached to it, already glaring at you.

Your mouth opens and closes repeatedly, not quite knowing what to say after you just passed out in the middle of practice.

"I told you that we should've gotten something to eat," he starts, growling out each word.

You shrink into yourself, feeling embarrassed that you've upset him and couldn’t even take care of yourself properly. "I'm sorry, Kentaro.”

He notices you plucking the lint off your shirt to avoid direct eye contact with him. His eyes close as he collects himself, realizing that now’s not the time to lecture you for something you couldn’t have predicted.

He sighs, standing up slightly to lean over your slumped figure, laying a kiss on your temple. He mumbles a quiet apology against your skin, feeling bad for snapping at you when he should’ve been more kind. He’s working on that, slowly but surely.

“Let’s go get something to eat,” he says, holding your hand while you stand slowly from the bed. You wobble slightly, Kyotani quickly wrapping his arm around your waist to stabilize you. You give him a nod when you’re firmly on your two feet.

“From now on, if you’re hungry, tell me.”

You agreed reluctantly, not exactly wanting him to worry so much but knowing he wouldn’t let you leave without your compliance. 

From then on, he always makes sure to check on you to check if you've eaten or if you need one of the many granola bars he now carries, and while sometimes it's annoying to have him acting like a mother hen, it's also very heartwarming to know that he cares about you that much. Not to mention, he’s saved your ass many times when you have to study overtime for another intense math quiz. 

the end of the semester was coming to a close and you were scrambling to get everything done on time

there weren't enough hours in the day to study for finals, finish projects, complete homework, and also take care of your human needs, like eating and sleeping

so, you just didn't sleep one night, opting to stay up with some caffeine to power through all of your work

at the beginning of the next day, you felt energetic and peppy, but as it went on, the sluggish feeling started to settle in

by the end, you were feeling absolutely exhausted and ready to drop at any moment

however, you still wanted to accompany Aone to practice that day, as it was your favorite part of your week

aone initially insisted that you head home without him, but he realized it might be safer to go with him after practice, just in case you fell asleep on the train

It feels like it takes ages, but eventually, practice begins to wind down, soreness seeping into each and every team member’s muscles after hours on their feet. A few of them are still practicing quick attacks with each other, but Aone is one more move away from passing out from exhaustion.

He walks over to you sitting on the sidelines, watching you take longer and longer between each blink. Yet, when he gets close enough, you still manage to give him a small smile that kicks his heart into overdrive, his face, no doubt, resembling a tomato because of the gesture.

He sits on the creaky folding chair beside you, taking gulps of his water to try to cool himself down. He almost chokes when he feels your head press up against his shoulder, hand resting on his forearm gently. Sitting still as a rock, he tries to take his mind off his cute partner cuddling up next to him.

"We should stop somewhere and pick up some food on the way to the train,” he suggests, doing his best to ignore the warmth filling his cheeks. “Do you want anything specific?"

You're silent beside him. At first, he thinks you're contemplating what to eat, seeing as you're very particular with your cravings. But when two minutes pass, and there's not even a peep from you, he looks down carefully to find you knocked out against his shoulder, face squished uncomfortably and mouth parting with each deep breath you take.

Aone never pictured this happening to him –mostly because he didn't think he'd ever have a partner who'd feel comfortable enough around him– so he didn't quite know where to go from here. He could wake you up to at least bring you home, but if this is the first time you've slept in over 24 hours, he didn't want to deprive you of more necessary sleep.

The only way Aone can think of bringing you home is to carry you all the way to the train station and... Well, that's as far as he manages to get, but future Aone will figure the rest out.

He asks Futakuchi to gather his things for him because he doesn't want to risk waking you. After some light teasing, he hands Aone his packed duffle and helps put on his jacket with minimal stirring from you.

Aone thanks his friend with a nod before turning to you and slipping his arms under you, one beneath your knees and the other behind your back. He freezes when you begin shifting around, but relaxes once you settle into him.

Aone waves at his team on the way out, with what movement he is allowed, and begins his trek to the train station nearby. 

His arms are aching after hours of practice, but it doesn’t matter, because you nuzzling into his neck with an adorable sigh gives him enough strength to carry you halfway across the country if he needs to. 

Written by: Luna

[mskimkaty]

I AM THAT GIRL

angst, slight fluff, smut

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, MENTAL ILLNESS, SUICIDE, SELFHARM, DRAMA, SMUT, VANILA SMUT, SWEARING, KIM JENNIE IS A BITCH HERE AND SO OTHER MENTION REAL LIFE PEOPLE BUT ITS PURELY FICTIONAL.

synopsis:Johnny Suh, the most popular boy in college, tried to take his life? what could possibly go wrong with his wealthy background, popularity, and basically having everything in the palm of his hands?

expected word count: 12,692

release date: 01/18/21 (somehow, got deleted. so Im reposting)

details: college!au, strangers to friends to lovers!au.

JohnnySuh x reader.

Johnny Suh walked the hallways in his college ground and not one passerby gives him the freedom to do his business. Students give him a look of pity, as acquaintances try to give him fake words of comfort that disgustingly crawls at the back of his skin.

They were just into the gossip, but they never really care. It was obvious from how they whisper behind his back for looking out of place and out of character, he could see their mocking gazes every time he walks past them.

he pulled his hood up and covered his old blonde hair now dyed into jet black, the usual smile plastered on his lips was now in a tight line and was placed the usually friendly demeanor with a scowl on his face.

people are staring, not in a good way, but because he looks ridiculous in their minds.

"Youngho, if you need anything, I'd gladly do it for you." Johnny heard his Korean name roll of someone's lips and now he feels disgusted with himself for the 9th time that day, he was back to zero and the acid rushes past his throat and he might vomit with the anxiety building up in the pit of his stomach upon hearing his birth name. He halts his movements and turns around to face Kim Jennie.

How does she have the nerve to say that when she cheated on him with Jongin? He treated him like a brother. Her hands travel on his biceps, the usual warmth he felt in the past now buried at the back of his memories, and now, he's just disgusted with her. He ignored her and continued walking past her, Jennie's peers were instantly beside her to console her with words of comfort because her ex-lover practically brushes her off like she was nothing.

You didn't expect a drama unfolding in front of you while standing in your locker area, Christmas break was finally over, and now students are back putting their noses in other people's business. Especially, Johnny Suh's business.

You shrugged your shoulders and walks back to your class, this is definitely a way to start your first day at this University.

Johnny sat at the far back of the room, sporting unusual dark clothing rather than the usual light colors of his wardrobe, the professor walks in, shaking his head upon seeing him at the back completely not understanding how Johnny's mind works.

Johnny knows, just by the look his professor is giving at him, he knew and have seen that twice already — he couldn't control the urge to stand up harshly making the chair he was using falls down to the ground as he walks to the door not bothering to look back, stunning everybody in the room.

When Johnny came back to school after his attempt, he felt more pulled down in the darkest pit inside him, he was unhappy more than he did when he was attempting. The funny part? when people knew about his attempt, people started flocking around him as they cared, but it was obvious. They just wanted to be with him because of his surname and money.

Even Jennie did not differ from the other students trying to impress him. The sad part about it is that he genuinely liked her, but she was just up for it because of the money and fame, and maybe the good fuck. His friends were no different, people might think that he's happy being the captain of the football team, but his life was toxic with every moment. He was in more pain than ever, his friends who were his teammates low-key discarded him thinking he's a freak saying he needed to seek attention.

Johnny knew that they weren't practically saying that to his face, but they were showing it.

They weren't wrong, he knew that, but it was different. They were all trying to impress him, worshiping the ground he walks on and now he's on the rocky side of the road, they drop him? because their parents told them to?

Johnny empties his locker, blindly shoving everything in his duffle bag when his best friend, Kim Jongin, walks inside. He hardly shoved everything inside his bag and harshly closed his locker's door, scowling at the older boy.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" he heard him. "This isn't you at all, why are you suddenly changing? Johnny, I already said I'm sorry." that's the ugly fact. People around him are blind enough not to notice the slight changes in him and the little signs that he wasn't mentally stable.

"This isn't an apology. You're asking me to suck it up. It's Different."

Lunch came and Johnny has nowhere to go, not with all the pity looks the student body is giving him, he had a take-out for his meal and had his lunch alone in an empty room. deciding he has no appetite to eat something, he walked out of the building and drove out to Nakamoto Yuta's basement. He's supposed to be dead two weeks before this day, but here he was, seeking for Yuta's dirty business.

"Johnny Suh." Nakamoto Yuta was known for his dirty business around campus, selling overpriced illegal transactions under the table, tattoos, and piercing. "Stop talking like I'm some god. No god would try to kill himself."

"figures."

"I don't understand, how are you still in the university and not behind bars?" Johnny asks after taking a long drag on his blunt.

"This is the only way to have food on the table, and I need to graduate. I rather do these than sell my body."

Sadly enough when Johnny checked his phone, no calls or messages from his parents. As cliche as it sounds, he wants his father to check on him but after seeing him in his room bathed in his blood on the ground, his father drifted more away from him.

When he got home that night, his family was having dinner without him, his younger sister, Yerim, ran up to him and hugged him. "Oppa, where have you been? I've been calling you." his sister was the only purest being for him, and he distances himself around her, he doesn't want him to expose her to things that only he knew.

"Yerim, go to your room." the impersonal voice of their father surrounds the dining area and Yerim flinch. looking up to his eyes before walking away.

Kim Ji hoon walks up to him and looks at him with disdain. "Stop being a disgrace, If you can't act like your invisible. I don't need a disgrace in this house." It wasn't new to Johnny anymore.

His father may not be vocal about it in the past but he knew that his father doesn't want him to breathe the same air he does, if God may allow it, he knows that his father wanted him dead, he wanted his father to acknowledged him, and he did everything, that was when Johnny was kissing up to his reputation of being the good son, ace-ing all his grades, being the captain of the football team, doing unnecessary extracurricular activities for extra points, being the good boyfriend, good friend, good son, and a good brother, but it was all too much for him, he felt that he was borrowing someone's life to the point that he doesn't recognize him anymore.

His father hated him so much that he didn't even give him his last name, and the ugly part about it is that Johnny understood his father because he was the reason his mother died. "You can't even do one thing properly, and now everyone living in this town knows about you killing yourself."

"Are you saying that I didn't properly kill myself?" he wanted to vomit. He chuckled as he ran his hands down his locks. "Go fuck yourself," he murmured and walk down to the guest room where he was temporarily sleeping, his step-mother hasn't asked the helpers to clean his room's carpet that is still bathed in his blood, he looked at his wrist that is covered in a bandage, the ugly reminder that he was unhappy and that there is no saving from this anymore. Finding the reason to wake up was hard enough and going to school was another thing, but he did anyway.

People still gossip behind his back, ugly as it sounds, people are disgustingly twisted. He smirked upon hearing he still looked hot as fuck with black hair, one student saying she would gladly do him, blonde or black.

"Jennie must have cheated knowing that he's a freak."

"hey, he might hear you, lower your voice."

"He needs to seek professional help."

"I don't understand him at all. His popular, his ex-girlfriend was fucking hot, he's rich, has great looks, and has a hella hot of a sister." something snapped inside him when he heard some asshole talked disgustingly about his sister.

Before he could even think properly, Johnny repulsively pushed the guy up to the wall. "The hell!" the stranger shouted as the other students stop to stare.

"Did you fucking talked about my sister like that?"

People are staring not because of an aggressive man pushing a full-grown body against the wall like it's nothing. it's not uncommon to see a fistfight for the entire student body to see, people are staring because, Johnny Suh, for once stunned everybody with his demeanor that is completely out of his character. Yes, he is a big guy, but he was kind, sweet, and friendly, so Johnny using force for the first time against someone was a sight to see, added to the fact that this is the first time people heard him cursing, and If eyes could kill already, the guy who talked shit about his sister is practically dead right now, he would brush it off in the past, blindly ignoring gossip about him but this is the first time that someone disrespects his sister right in front of his face and definitely, it is the first time that he gave less fuck about his reputation.

Johnny stared at the man that lacks the urge to answer him, him sending shivers down the stranger's spine. He manhandled the guy and throw him down the floor. "You had the nerve to run that filthy mouth against my sister but doesn't have the balls to answer when I'm confronting you?" he smirked and walked away.

Johnny spent the whole week going to the university but doesn't bother attending his classes, he doesn't want to be left alone at home but doesn't want to go to his classes. He just lost every motivation to do something productive.

Johnny walked his usual path these past few days, going to an empty room on the 4th floor of the Marketing's building to kill time, he gently pushed open the door and saw you changing your clothes. You were almost done, putting your white dress shirt over your shoulder without noticing that you're giving a stranger a free show.

Johnny freezes up, staring and lingering more than usual. He was mesmerized by how your skin glistens under the light slipping through the windows, but what made him stop on his track is the lack of hair you have in your body. It's just smooth skin all over your body.

When you felt someone behind you, you turn your body around to look at the intruder, you saw someone and instantly locked eyes with him. At first, you were scared of seeing Suh Johnny behind you, Johnny got a full view of your unbuttoned shirt and your chest clad in your undergarments. it's not like you saw a ghost, he didn't die per se, but then it has drawn to you, that Johnny, in the flesh, saw you changing clothes. Your reflex acts up and you turn yourself away from him, pulling your clothes to hug yourself, you fix your buttons as you run out to get out of the embarrassment.

The next day, you went to your usual spot in the library to eat your lunch when you saw somebody sitting on your chair. You shrug your shoulders and sit across the stranger who had his head tucked in his arms on the table. You were excited to eat your favorite sandwich because your mother specially made it for you, it was a rare moment given your mother raised you and your sibling alone, having to work two jobs at a time just to put food on the table and to send you to a good school. You appreciate her and love her with all your heart, she was the only one you had next to your older brother, you were good at being invisible, it was your last semester at the university. Trying to finish one subject and your practicum silently like you didn't exist at all. You laughed at the fact that you had no one in this damn hell, but you didn't care.

You started eating your sandwich in silence while opening a good book to read, you were happy in your bubble. Johnny must have heard you as you flip pages after pages. His stomach growling after registering the wonderful smell coming from his surroundings. When he lifts his head, his eyes flicked to your form, silently eating while reading a book, you were so happy in your little bubble, giggling while reading. He straightens his back and you notice the guy across you, putting a face in the stranger who sleeps across you.

A blush crept up on your face when you realize it was Johnny again, you remembered the recent events that happened between the both of you, and your embarrassed ass started coughing hard, you hold your neck rather than reaching for the bottled water in front of you as you choke none stop in front of him. He was left dumbfounded for a couple of seconds but reach for the bottle and unclasp it before handing it to you, you chugged half the contents down your throat and he watched you with fascination.

"Thank you." You said in a small voice.

You put the bottle back in its place as silence hangs in the air, it wasn't a bad kind of silence, but it was awkward. You offer him the other half of your sandwich as you watch him look at you questioningly. "Your hungry." It wasn't a question. You knew he was hungry given you kept hearing his stomach growling a while ago. "You know a little food won't hurt you right?"

Johnny laughs at your ironic statement but accepts your offer anyway, "Don't get your hopes up, I'm not up for a casual relationship." he says as you thought that he wouldn't accept your offer, given that he's rich and can buy a much better lunch than what you're currently having, but then again, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

"I was just offering you food."

"Thanks." When he finished your sandwich rather quickly, he went back to sleeping in front of you. He liked hearing the sound of you flipping pages after pages as you read your book silently in front of him and the occasional giggle you let out when read something funny. When he woke up to go home, you were gone, but you left your coat as you hung it around his shoulders to keep him warm.

When he came back the day after, in the library, you didn't come back.

The next morning, Johnny awoke earlier than usual, heading to his car without giving a glance at his family, Yerim saw him and was rather puzzled at the baby pink coat he was holding delicately in his arms. He drove fast to get to the university, walking inside the library to wait for you if ever you were going to be there again.

Lunch came, and your guess was right, you see the same blacked haired boy taking a nap in your usual spot with your coat right beside him. You sat across him again and started minding your business, but this time, you had another bag of sandwiches repaired for him. You weren't ignorant about Johnny's attempt, but you choose to respect his space, you knew that he wasn't mentally stable yet. He might look fine outside and you might not know what goes inside his head, but you knew that he isn't fine. No one's mentally stable, everybody has their hardships in their private lives going on right now, but the important thing is that people shouldn't use it against someone, and as long as they don't step on other people to feel better for themselves then it's good.

You might not understand what he's going through right now, you weren't friends, to begin with, but you feel for him. Sincerely.

Johnny felt peaceful for once after many years, it was an odd feeling, but it wasn't bad. You were browsing your phone, checking your emails and your mother's, clearing and archiving unimportant ones. You look at the time and it was already half past lunchtime. Wednesday is a pain in the ass for you, you have to wait for 5 hours until your next class in the afternoon. You didn't notice Johnny waking from his nap, seeing as you still haven't touched the sandwich bags in front of you, he's guessing you still haven't eaten.

"I'm Johnny."

You look at the man in front of you, his usual strawberry locks are now turned into black, sporting a gray hoodie over his black shirt and matching gray track pants. You study his expression, his not extending his hands for a handshake nor his face valid of any emotion, yet you smile and said "What happened to not being in a casual relationship?"

Johnny was taken back, you give him the sweetest smile you could offer and handed him the extra sandwich you had, "You know, some people would reply with their names." he said as he accepts the food that you offered, you look at him as if contemplating before speaking.

"Y/n"

"I'm not sure, but what department are you from?" he asked after taking a bite of his food. "This is good, by the way. Who made this?"

"What question do you want me to answer first?" you asked laughing. "My mom made it, and I'm from the same department as you, Though, I just transferred to this school after the Holidays,

If he was shocked he didn't show it, Johnny nods his head as if acknowledging you, "I just want time to pass by quickly and silently, that's why no one knows I exist here. I'm just trying to live another day until I graduate." You said making Johnny fall silent.

"Good for you," he replied after a good minute with the both of you munching on your foods. "Was it hard?" he asked.

"What is?"

"You don't seem to have anyone, do you even have friends?" you laughed at his statement because it was the truth. "Yeah, something like that. It wasn't that bad I might have no friends because I choose not to have any relationships with anybody in here."

"That sucks, I'm not going to ask the reason why you transferred in the middle of the semester because that's your business, not mine," he says, you study his face and you weren't sure whether to run your mouth over his business or not, deciding against it you stood up and take your things with you. "Let me show you something."

Walking down the stairs while both of you kept a little distance, you lead him to the visual room, pulling the keys in your backpack and unlocking it. "Why do you have a key to the AVR?" he asks bewildered.

"Perks of being the teacher's pet," you replied as you pulled him inside, turning the computer and projector on, you played a video about constellations and aimed the projector above.

Stars hover above the two of you and you urge him to lay down beside you, looking up and taking a moment of peace to embrace both of you.

"When things get hard and I tend to be alone; let's be honest, no one wants to feel lonely, especially at the hardest times of our lives. But then, you can't force someone to be there with you physically and emotionally and it sucks to have yourself suck it up for being alone. So, I do this, I take my time staring at these constellations. You see, they're really beautiful to me. I find them fascinating, they have this beautiful meaning behind them, it was always fun finding their patterns, connecting them until they're complete, you just have to look closely, in that way, you'll appreciate them more." you smile while pointing above you, he might not look at you but your presence beside him does him wonders, it was so powerful that even if he closes his eyes, he still feels you beside him. The warmth he was feeling coming from you, your steady breathing, and your sweet scent.

You spent your Mondays and Wednesdays with Johnny, eating lunch together, or spending time as you watch different constellations every week.

Friday morning, you made a quick detour to your department before clocking in for your practicum, before leaving the premises a professor asked you for a favor and you agreed to make a copy of the files she was asking for. When you came back from the printing room, you saw a commotion ahead. It wasn't you to pry on other people's business, but your legs must have their mind when you saw a familiar tall build that is clad in a black hoodie.

Johnny Suh stands in the middle with Kim Jongin and Kim Jennie on the other side. He was hyperventilating.

"Just leave, please." Kim Jongin shouted at him, you can see the obvious horror written on everyone's faces. Kim Jennie was stuck beside Jongin as she shed tears silently, disbelief written in Johnny's face.

"Do you know what went wrong? it's because you were never enough." Jennie drops the bomb for everyone to hear, Johnny was livid. If he could crush everything that he could see he would take the chance and do it. If he could take his life again, he wouldn't give a single fuck and he'll gladly do it.

"I can't believe you both. I wasn't the one who cheated with my best friend, why the fuck do you act like it's my fault?" you heard Johnny said and for the first time your heart broke for him.

You found him in your usual spot in the library, his head hanging low and his body shaking as he tries to catch his breath. You drop your coat over his head and give him the bottle of water you were holding, instead of sitting across him, you sat next to him without overstepping and respecting his space to cool down.

When he started to calm down, he handed your coat back to you, stood up, and left the library. Saying you were dumbfounded was an understatement but you choose to understand him.

Days passed by and Johnny was still a no show. When a week has already passed without seeing Johnny, you started to get worried. You wished you asked for his number, but then again, you weren't even that close, to begin with. You decide to spend your long-vacant in the visual room, playing random constellations as you think about a certain boy.

When that certain boy suddenly appeared right in front of you. "I'm sorry." He had his hands inside his grey sweatpants.

"What matters is that you came."

Johnny joined you on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, after a moment of silence, he spoke up. "Why did you help me? why do you even care about me at all? I'm a mess."

"Aren't we friends?" You asked even though it was clear that he turned your offer of friendship down a while ago.

"What you said about the constellations earlier made me realize how I took myself for granted and at the same time how ungrateful I am."

You look at him and give him the chance to speak up. "I didn't have the will to live, do you know that you are annoyingly optimistic about everything?" He jokingly asked, and you laughed with him.

"Is that a compliment or what?"

"I still don't have a reason to be here." He suddenly says. Johnny looks at your face as if reading you, he was prepared to see you pitying him but there was none.

"You don't have to look for it. You have yourself because, at the end of the day, you only got your own back," you turn to him as you give him a look. Johnny envied you, it was obvious, and you can read him like an open book. "Don't, don't look at me like that, Johnny Suh." the way his name rolled down your tongue felt flawless, as if you were born to say his name out loud.

"We all have our shortcomings, I'm not perfect nor are people around me, no one is, and we have to accept that fact, give less care about people who can't accept that."

"It's not as easy as it seems," Johnny says, your hand brushing back the stray hair that falls on his forehead as if your hand has a mind of its own. "Sorry-"

"It's fine. I like it." Both of you turn towards the ceiling as you continue to watch the stars, keeping the comfortable silence and just hang around each other.

For weeks, spending time in the library and the visual room to watch the stars has been your thing with Johnny Suh, you couldn't even imagine being friends with the likes of him, you view him as a constellation star, he's mysterious behind his disguise as he tends to fool everyone with, he was hard to reach and was always up above you, he brightens the surroundings like how the stars brighten the night sky, for you, he was more than the famous campus boy that everybody likes, even if he can't realize that.

Weeks passed by and you look forward to your Mondays and Wednesdays than the fact that you are graduating.

You were busy transferring your books to your backpack as you stand in front of your locker when Johnny came to you. "I didn't know we have the same classes."

You were stunned when you saw him talking to you in the open, students started looking in your way as if seeing a history. The most known guy in the University is with a nobody, but you shrugged it anyway as you closed your locker's door. You bite back at your tongue with all the attention you were getting, anxiety creeping out to you but you choose to ignore it.

"You weren't even attending your classes," you told him as you fix your backpack, the both of you started walking, keeping the same slow pace and taking your time.

"Well, I now have a reason, at least," he says as he grabs the strap of your bag and slings it in his shoulder. You ignore the bubbly feeling inside you and continued walking. Smiling at yourself as you forget about the stares around you.

"You're so cheesy, Suh Johnny." You giggled at him and for the first time, you saw a genuine smile creeping on his face.

When Lunch came, both of you sat outside to enjoy the sunny weather. "I'm going to start my Practicum next week," Johnny told you suddenly, and you stood up so fast to walk around the table to hug him.

"I'm so glad!" the sincere happiness is written on your face that even Johnny laughs with you.

"Thanks to you, I feel like, there's more to it than ending my life at the age of 21," he says and you shake your head at him.

"No, I didn't do anything. It's mostly you. I'm just here beside you to guide you, but it's your own will."

"I'll be honest with you, hurting myself still runs on my head but the difference this time is, I'm scared to do it." you didn't know what to reply to that so you just extend your hands towards his and hold it firmly in your grasp.

The rest of your day went ahead without you noticing, time flies by rather quickly when you are with Johnny. You stood waiting for your bus to arrive when a black Audi stops in front of you. Its windows rolling down and you see Johnny peeking through the window to smile at you.

"You want to wait for your bus or be logical and save time?" you laugh at his way of asking you for a ride but walk towards the passenger to join him in his car otherwise. The car ride was rather chaotic, you were debating about what to put first, milk or cereal, and you felt the horrors when Johnny says he puts milk in first. He was laughing like a child at how horrified you look.

"Anything's fine with me. I put whatever in first," he says after a long minute of arguing.

"I'm telling you, not to live like that!" you argue back. "Cereal comes first and then milk goes in, just imagine, do you pour the soap first before the water? it's water before the soap!" you explained and he laughs at how rilled up you get.

The argument was cut off when you arrived at your house. Johnny parked his car in front of your house and for some reason, your mother came in wearing an apron over her clothes. She raises an eyebrow at the unknown car blocking her driveway and you look at Johnny who looks back at you.

"Your mother is intimidating." He says.

"Want to come over for dinner?" you ask, and It took him a second before responding, " You think that's a good idea?"

"Come on, Mr. Suh, grow some balls, it's just my mom." Johnny looks offended at your statement.

"I have balls that girls flock around with," he retorted. You sigh and open the passenger seat greeting your mom with a smile as you ran to hug her.

"Can my friend stay for dinner?" you asked after hugging her. Johnny is behind you as he introduced himself as your friend and your mother shocked him by giving him a warm hug.

"There's still room for another boy in my house, I believe, it's no problem." Your mother stated as Johnny gives you a confused glance. Your mother invited him in and you welcomed him.

Inside, your older brother, Taeil is strumming his guitar with three other guys in the living room. "Oh, This is my Brother, Taeil." you casually said at him as you hung both of your jackets.

"You didn't tell me you have a brother." He whispered at you, standing awkwardly beside you. Taeil waved at him and you push him to sit beside Jaehyun.

"This is Jaehyun, Doyoung, and Ten. They're all bandmates during high school so they're always here for my brother," you explained. "And your mother's cooking." Ten added.

"Well, now you know," You said as you turn to him. "Let me just go to my room and freshen up real quick, just make yourself feel at home," you say as you back up on your track. "Cool."

Johnny didn't feel out of place for some reason, he was really happy that he got to meet your brother and his bandmates, they were cool to be around. They entertained him and ask what were his hobbies are and for the first time, he took his time to think about what he likes to do. He likes to draw.

When dinner was served, all the boys helped your mother to set up the table, Johnny was persistent in helping even after telling him to sit and wait because he was a guest. You let him help otherwise.

Dinner was well spent, he enjoyed talking with everyone and your mother even asks him to visit anytime he wants. Taeil takes a liking to him, asking him to hang out whenever he's free. Johnny presented to do the dishes and you helped him when he was done his shirt was a total mess because of the water splashing through the faucet, a good thing is that your brother has some clothes that are way oversized for him, and he lets Johnny use them.

You handed him the shirt, accidentally seeing a huge bruise on his chest and stomach, before you knew it, you stop him as he was about to put his shirt on. "What happened?"

His bruises must have slipped his mind and he mentally cursed himself at it. You were horrified. "Johnny, are you getting beat up?"

"I don't want to talk about this," he pulled his shirt down "Y/n, It's getting late. I should head home now. Thank you for dinner, I enjoyed it." and before you know it, Suh Johnny was gone.

Weeks passed by and Johnny was a complete no show. Faint rays of the sun trickled down through your curtains and fell on your room's marbled floor, you look up at your window and were blinded by the light, sitting up, you let your feet hovered on your marbled floors and mentally prepare yourself for the day.

In the office, your instructor asked you to copy some files and you gladly agreed to do it as you don't have much going on for the time being. You thought that it was hard doing your practicum, but all you did at the office was run errands evolving the x-ray machine. Your mind drifted back to Johnny, you'll have to talk to him. Being worried about him is already killing you and the last time you saw him was three weeks ago.

Wednesday came and you sat at your usual spot in the library, studying for the upcoming exams as you patiently wait for the tall black-haired guy. You forced yourself to do some actual studying but for some reason, all you can think about was Suh Johnny who didn't even show up.

The week passed by in a blur and on Thursday you went to your University to take the exam, you were scheduled for the second batch, and instead of your usual schedule of Wednesday, your professor divided your class into two batches.

You weren't even aware that your exams already finished as you were walking to your locker to put away some books.

You understood that Johnny had issues and you hated that you can't do anything to help him. You would do anything for him if that means for the comfort inside him and his peace of mind. You might not know the reason for his depression but everyone has a reason and you know that everybody around you has some issues going on in their private lives. You look around, seeing other students do their thing, minding their own business, some are even bored and waiting for their exams, You saw Jennie and Jongin together looking at you with disgusted faces that you shrugged off.

Johnny saw you as you mindlessly walk your way to the visual room, and he followed behind you silently, as he looks over his ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend. He realized he never really had a connection with Jennie before, they were both just into the sex, and then it gets awkward when they started to talk.

You were already done setting the projector up, walking in the center to lay down when you heard someone entered, and when you saw Johnny at the entrance of the room, his hands on his sweatpants pocket as he gives you a look, you stood up and ran to give him a big hug. You shed tears for him, as you give him a tight hug.

"Why are you crying?" he asked.

"Aren't we friends?" You asked him as you hold him in your arms. "Friends share their pains. So, I'll be here. I just want you to know that I'll be here when you needed someone to be there with you." Johnny fought his tears but who was he kidding? He yearns for someone's affection and not because of who he was but because it was him. And this time, he finally had someone to share his pains with. People already viewed him as someone going on a phase, probably someone rebelling against his parents but Johnny was more than that. He didn't care about it, though. He learned to give less fuck about insignificant people around him.

"My father used to beat me up, Football was just an excuse to cover up these bruises." He admitted. He was disgusted and embarrassed about it. But it was you, and he knows that you're not one to judge someone based off on their appearances.

You shed more tears for him. "Johnny, You don't deserve that, no one deserves that," you say caressing his cheeks. You hated the cheesy statement but you ignore it anyway, what you were feeling at the moment isn't important. Johnny was opening up to you.

The two of you manage to have time off from the university and Practicum. (Johnny started his practicum last, last week, that's why he was MIA most of the time, that time.) Johnny was hanging out at your house, the problem was, your mother and brother are both at work, so you take it to yourself that being alone with him, at your house, is inappropriate. You drag him outside, leading the way to one of your favorite diners.

"I am telling you, you're going to regret that," you said.

"What's wrong with what I ordered?" Johnny did this little thing in his nose, and you take a moment to look at him as you smile at him. You ignore the stares around you, feeling like a sore thumb sticking and obviously, out of place. Johnny scowl at the man who was drunk out of his wits, shamelessly checking you out. This wasn't the first time, this always happened, but not to you though. You told him to ignore it, that man was probably in here to order a cup of coffee.

"Their chicken and waffles here are the best! I'm telling you, I'm not going to share with you."

One pout of his lips towards you and you were switching your plates towards Johnny. You told him, only because this was the first time that he got to try out your favorite dish, and there won't be a second chance in the future. Johnny was kind enough to share a piece of waffle with you. But not the chicken, though. He fell head over heels for it.

Bit by bit, Johnny's walls crumbled down around you, and before you knew it, both of you are inseparable. Johnny dating you spread like wildfire around campus, but there wasn't any truth behind that gossip, you were just a friend. Simple as that.

He was hanging more lately with your brother than you expected. Both of them have the same interest, so it wasn't a surprise when Johnny befriended most of your brother's friends.

Johnny was going on about how Jaehyun's a chill guy, Mark, and Donghyuck introducing him to play games, even Yuta, the University's drug dealer, as they brand him, was included in Taeil's group of friends.

"You didn't tell me that you knew Nakamoto Yuta," Johnny whispered behind you.

"Yeah, For some reason, I didn't want to get involved with most of them. Some girls are crazy about them and I just want peacefulness as I end my college years." You answered. Yuta was from the same department, Jaehyun was from the same university but was taking a different course, as well as Doyounga and Taeyong. Mark and Haechan still need a year before attending college. Ten was studying arts and your brother was a college dropout.

You were having pizza night at your house, your mother was kind enough to accommodate a bunch of men in her tiny house, seemingly impossible to fit 13 men inside, but it did. Instead of the usual party that frat houses and rich kids throw around, Taeil and the others like to keep it to themselves. Sharing one shot glass and downing a cheap rum as everybody waits for their turn. Most of them didn't think that Johnny would be fine with this kind of setup. Besides, he was branded as the campus king and a rich heir at that. He could spend Friday nights at some high-end bar and drink expensive alcohol. But no, instead, here he was, sitting on the cheap carpet your mother owns with a bunch of drunk men but you were glad that your brother is such a nice guy and so are his peers.

Johnny was glad, that he found true people, who accepts him for who he is and not because of who he was.

Doyoung placed you on the empty sofa, you have a low tolerance for alcohol, and you can't keep up with them anymore. The cheapest drink Taeyong bought isn't of cheap quality, you knew better than to judge a bottle chosen by him. You watch them with heavy eyelids, smiling at yourself, Mark and Donghyuck made fun of you by putting thick blankets around you and this was the first time Johnny saw you annoyed by the younger boys.

When Morning came, you were already on your bed as your head pounds. When you came downstairs to leave for school you look around and saw that last night's trace was gone as if 13 grown men didn't make a mess out of your mother's living room.

You wished you had gotten a coffee first when you entered your room way too early and saw that most of the students are yet to arrive, even water would be good, anything liquid down your throat would be good.

You saw Jaehyun and Johnny bidding farewells at the front of the room, students who were present to see the two interacting were shocked, for them, It was rare to see Johnny without his usual crew. But, who are they to decide that for Johnny? It was a rare sight to see, A popular music major and the famous ex-football captain, together?

When Johnny approached his spot beside you, he gives you the cold Iced latte he was holding fresh from Starbucks, completely ignoring unwanted stares behind his back.

"Good Morning," there was a warm aura surrounding him as he settled down beside you, and you look at him in awe. "What?" he asks.

You watched him for a moment, smiling at him as he looks at you questionably. "You're happy," you stated making Johnny pause for a second to think, he was sporting a baby pink hoodie and grey Nike pants, holding his Earpods and Macbook at the other hand. "I think I might be getting there."

Your heart swells up for him and as you fought back the tears that wanted to fall. Johnny reached out to you, wiping the strands of hair that keep falling on your face. "Sorry," you said. People might think that yesterday, Johnny was trying to end his life, and then suddenly, he was okay, because he never was, and you continuously walk on a thin thread around him, Johnny is like a ticking bomb and porcelain that needs to be handled with the utmost care. Five months ago, Johnny doesn't have the motivation to continue living his life, but here he was thriving to know what tomorrow can offer him.

For Johnny, meeting you was his saving grace, problems might fill up in his life, there is this constant reminder that society will always judge him the minute he does something wrong, there is his father, his stepmother who doesn't really pay attention to him, his old life and old self constantly reminding him the pain of the past.

"What happened to your eyes?" there were dark circles under his eyes and for a moment you thought that he has a lot in his mind to think about for the lack of sleep.

"I stayed up till dawn playing overwatch with Donghyuck and Mark last night." He says smiling.

"I'm glad your settling with the boys all right." Johnny watched you, how your long hair flow past your shoulders through your back, he loves the little freckles dancing all over your cheeks naturally and how a touch of pink creeps in your cheeks naturally because of the humid air.

You were really glad. "Do you want to go with me and Ten?" He asks you when your classes ended for the morning, both of you walked to the library to hide from prying and malicious eyes. "He wants to hang out in the nearest coffee shop." he continued and you agreed to go with him, making a turn for the exit.

Johnny ordered an Americano for him and a latte for you, eating the packed lunch your mother made for you and Johnny as you wait for Ten.

Ten arrived with Jaehyun in tow, placing their bags down Jaehyun took the seat beside you while Ten walked to the counter to order their drinks. Johnny looked at you and Jaehyun but ignore the malice running in his head.

"Kim Yerim!" the three of you looked at the entrance to see Johnny's sister entering the cafe, Yerim waved at someone across their table and saw his sister's friend Park Sooyoung waving frantically. Johnny turned to look at you and Jaehyun ignoring his sister who started walking inside, "What happened to you?" he asks Jaehyun,

"Why?"

"You're turning really red." Johnny pointed out and you snickered at Jaehyun who turns to look at Johnny's sister absentmindedly. "Man, That's my sister!" Johnny whispered-shout at him as he fought the urge to laugh at Jaehyun. Someone definitely has a crush on his little sister.

You and Johnny eyed each other, laughing as you both understood telepathically. "What's so funny?" Ten asks when he arrived and the both of you laughed loudly this time.

"Hyung!" Jaehyun shouted at him his ears turning red.

When Johnny got home, he locked himself up in his room that his step-mother finally asked to clean. He was busy waiting for Donghyuck and Mark to play when he heard a knock on his door.

"Can I come in?" His step-mother asked. Yerim's mother is a great person, but that doesn't really mean that she's a good mother to both him and Yerim, he can't really judge her though, she's still young and living her dreams but then his father got her pregnant with Yerim and then here she is stuck at this hell of a household, all three of them under the strings of his father.

"Yes." He says.

Kim Ah-Jong walked inside, placing a warm cup of milk beside him for the first time, "Johnny," She started as he settled at the edge of Johnny's bed facing him. Johnny turns his chair to face her too, holding the warm mug in his hand to seek comfort in this awkward setting.

"I don't know how to start, but I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry," she paused for a second, ignoring the lump in her throat, "I hope you forgive me for replacing your mother's position, and that I'm really grateful because you love your sister more than anything even though you didn't have the same mother."

"It's the least that I could do." He says.

"Yes, I know, and I'm sorry if I failed you as a mother, I was busy finding myself to the point you and Yerim grow up without the right amount of affection from us. We're such horrible parents and I wanted to say sorry on behalf of your father. You don't deserve this, no one else did."

That night, Johnny slept soundly in his own home for the first time in a while.

Yerim was shocked to see her mom attending to his brother, it's as if she suddenly had a change of heart and finally started to be a mother to his brother. Her father was another problem, he still hasn't moved on from his son's attempt. Spitting atrocious words early in the morning making Johnny regret even joining the breakfast.

Kim Ah-jong had enough of his husband's wrath, it was still morning and his husband is starting to get on her nerves. She stabs her bread knife on their table as she turns her head towards him, "Is still early in the morning for the love of God, Kim Ji Hoon. Must you really ruin our morning?" she says.

Both Yerim and Johnny were stunned at her, their father shutting up in instant at the fear her wife would stab her.

Johnny and Yerim drive to the University that day together, "Oh, do you mind if we stop by at my friend's house? I promise to pick him up." Johnny asks and Yerim nodded.

Johnny smirked, he was excited to see Jaehyun's reaction.

Johnny pulled up in front of Jaehyun's apartment, sending him a message the was up in front of his building, after a minute, Jaehyun emerges from the entrance of the building running to get to his car with a tumbler in his other hand.

Johnny pulled the window down and Jaehyun saw Yerim first, he stopped midway, flustered that a girl was with his young, and It was no other than his sister. he played it cool and sat at the back.

"Oh, Yerim-ah, this is Jaehyun. He's my friend."

Jaehyun didn't expect her to turn around and bow her head down. "Thank you so much for taking good care of my brother."

Johnny became flustered with Yerim but laughed it off instead. Jaehyun bowed his head towards her saying it was nothing. Yerim was unaware of the looks she was getting from the older boy sitting at the back seat of his brother's car as Johnny keeps throwing playful glances at the back while he drove them to the school.

Graduation was already nearing, both you and Johnny were already finished with your practicum, Johnny was moving boxes towards his car, for some reason, his father allowed him to have his own flat, his step-mother saying that it would be the best for him and his mental health to have some space between them and that they should give him some time and space. His father was adamant at first but has nothing to do in the end.

"Just let him do what he wants, He's already graduating, with honors! He already did everything you wanted it's the least you could do for him." he heard his step-mother argue a while ago with his father. Johnny still had to go home every Sunday at the main house, though.

You and Taeil volunteered to help him with his moving and he was glad, to say the least. Yerim contacted you to do his groceries for him and the two of you left the older boys as you went to the market with Yerim.

Yerim was a cool young woman, she was matured for her own age, you learned that she was very frank at what she wants and that she loves her brother so much.

"I'm really glad my brother meet you," she says as she links her right arms with you, you were both walking to the parking lot, and you smiled at her blushing.

"Honestly, I never really liked his old friends. Jongin? Nope. Chanyeol? He's an asshole. Everyone in that damn team is an ass except for Sehun," she says as both of you entered the market, pulling a big cart in the process, and continued walking ahead. "You and your brother are surrounded by good people. Do you know that? And I'm kind of jealous of you, not that I don't have good friends, I do."

"Well, consider me someone you can be with so those good people will surround you too," you said smiling, Yerim giggled at you.

It took Johnny a week before really settling down in his apartment, he invited the guys over to have a small welcoming party, drinking and playing till the sun rises.

Johnny was busy typing at his laptop as you were both doing your last requirement for college, papers, and documents were all scattered around his living room when he turns his head to look at you. "Are you comfortable with those jeans?" He asks.

You look at your pants, it is uncomfortable.

"I don't have extra clothes," Johnny poked at his cheeks with his tongue, he stood up and went inside his room, when he came back he was holding clean boxer shorts. "You can use this if you want," he says as he extends his arms to you. You gladly took it and went to his bathroom to change.

Johnny thinks this was more dangerous than when he had blood oozing out of his wrist, you had your toned legs on display for him, and only him. It wasn't helping at all. Without knowing, he stared at your legs for a good minute, the urge of having his hands run along the lines of your thighs was becoming unbearable. He was amazed by the lack of hair you had around your arms and legs, was it liked that too with the parts your clothes have covered? He can't help the wild imaginations running around his head with the things he wants to do to you.

Johnny focused his attention back on the screen of his laptop. What the fuck is he even thinking? It's you, his fucking angel. How dare he have dirty thoughts about you. He mentally slaps himself and went back to typing.

You noticed Johnny having a mental crisis because of you and you silently laugh at him, extending your legs further to have your skin touch his thighs.

after hours of being productive with your work, You and Johnny decided to call it a night.

After a week of preparations for the upcoming finals, you and Johnny decided to meet up, the waiter placed both of your orders in front of you and Johnny, who give the waiter a small smile while uttering a quick "Thank you." You eyed Jhonny's food who looks somewhat more delicious than your Pesto Pasta. You don't even know why you ordered it, you never even tasted it before, you just want to— maybe, impress the guy in front of your table who were giving you obvious looks about the taste pallet you had which is definitely of a 13 Years old.

Johnny gives you a look while shaking his head, knowing all too well that you wanted a bite of it. Looking at you who's eyeing his barbeque bacon burger with fries on the side— It's usually what the two of you order and he was shocked that you ordered something out of the ordinary. He knew that you weren't the type of girl to go out of your comfort zone. You like what you usually eat, what you usually drink, and what type of clothing you usually wear. You are a very simple, young woman. You don't usually try things out of the blue, especially, when the two of you are both hungry.

Instantly, Johnny switched both plates. Giving you his food whilst saying a silent goodbye to the famous BBQ burger that he craves so much after winning a football game, which, he deserves. "What are you doing?" you asked shocked. You already saw him digging in and wincing at the taste. "Why the fuck would you even order this thing?" he asked.

You looked at the guy at the other table. You both were giving silent glances, he's good-looking and obviously from another school but you don't do other schools, that is the thing, you'd rather date someone from the same school, same department or same village. You don't like the hassle. People can go ahead and say your such a basic bitch, which in fact, you are. You finally give your full attention to Johnny who looks at his back to find some guy obviously ogling your face. That was the scariest thing in the world for him, guys ogling your face rather than your body, honestly, it was obvious from guys falling for your body— they just want to get in your pants, but guys who fall for your beauty is different.

You start digging in with your food. "This is the reason why I love you so much." You stated giving your burger a bite.

"Why would you even want to eat this." He says. You give him a chuckle as you extend your right arm towards him, offering him a bite of your burger, which he gladly took. "I'm sorry, I'm such a pain in the ass." You said.

"I kidnapped you in your after party and I'm so sorry, I didn't know Jennie's going to be there, and now you're eating something you don't even like. Man, you don't deserve this." You continued. Sincerely saying sorry towards him— picking a fry and dipping it on the ketchup provided at the side of your plate.

For some reason, Things work out for him and the team, It was going to be his last year playing, and the higher-ups decided for him to lead the team again, making Jongin lose face around the campus. It wasn't like before, It was expected, Johnny was just professional around them, leading them at the court and out of sight, after.

"What? No way. This is what I deserve. A peaceful dinner and finally having time with you." He says after biting at the toasted bread the pasta has. It was true though, Johnny was talking with Jennie again, well, but not exactly dating her, as students would say around campus. They dated, but that was that, he can't even imagine being good friends with someone who cheated on him, he was just being civil with her, ending things with a good note and leaving the better past behind him, and you haven't really had the chance to hang out together since their coach intensified their training hours and days, and right after that Johnny would hang out with your brother and the other guys.

"What did my brother say, though? with you being with me tonight? You guys are basically dating each other by now," you joked.

"Yeah, he's cool with it. Don't worry, I told him about our meeting before you actually kidnapped me." He gives you a smirk and you give him a confused look. "I was actually going to ask you for a dinner with me after the game." You rolled your eyes at him.

"Wow." You commented. You were practically like a twin at this rate. "Can I ask you something, though?" Johnny didn't know whether to ask because he was curious or just wait for you to open up to him, for some reason, Johnny felt naked around you. You knew everything about him, you have him wrapped around your pretty little fingers "What if I don't want to?" You countered and he scoffed.

"What was the reason you transferred? you only had a year to finish before graduating," Your face fell and he instantly saw how your face contorted into a frown. "Why are you making that face?" he asked.

"I had a bad break up to the point that I was destroying myself." You finally said like it was nothing. Johnny stopped everything that he's doing, giving you a look as if asking why. He felt like an idiot. How can he? at your worst time? "I'm such a horrible friend." He says.

"It's not your fault, and I'm even sorry that I didn't tell you sooner." You said quietly. Suddenly your favorite dish from the dinner doesn't look appealing anymore. "And I wanted time for myself, you know, he cheated on me."

the clicking of utensils can be heard throughout the diner when he dropped them to the table. He was fuming mad.

"It wasn't anyone's fault, though. if anything. It was mine. I lost interest in our relationship, didn't have time for him, and just lost everything along the way." You said while moving your plate towards him which he gladly took, abandoning the pasta you ordered and eating the half of the burger you had. But the real reason was, you can't stop comparing your ex-boyfriend to him.

"Still isn't a reason to cheat on you." He says after taking a bite. You move your lemonade in front of you and lazily sip on it. He drops the topic knowing all too well that you don't want to talk about it. Still, he felt guilty for some reason, What could go wrong?

Right, Johnny Suh is starting to have feelings for you, and definitely not in a platonic way.

And you don't have any idea about it.

He opened your bag that was beside him and fetch the wet wipes that were inside. He opened it and out of habit cleaned your fingers with it. And you let him, smiling. "I wished I meet you sooner," He looked at you and smiled. "I'm really sorry I haven't been with you for the last 21 years." you joked as you let him dry your fingers with a dry napkin that the diner provides.

You were about to head out— fetching the car keys that you placed on the bowl beside the main door when you hear a familiar honk outside your house. Your hands slip past your keys and you walk the small distance to your door, opening it the cold air of December heats your face and Johnny greeted you with his usual beam on his face, his left hand stretched up outside his window, giving you a wave.

You smiled to yourself, biding your mom a quick goodbye and you were off to school with your best friend.

"Good Morning." He greeted you when you opened the door of his black Audi.

"Good Morning, indeed." You said facing him after securing yourself with the seat belt. There was a tint of pink in Johnny's checks that you choose to ignore.

Pulling up at the parking lot in front of the university's main building where a lot of students lingered chatting with their circle of friends— Johnny smoothly maneuvered and parked at his usual spot.

You both get out of his car and started to walk to the building.

"See you at lunch?" he asked when you neared your classroom— you were slightly shocked. "Won't you be eating with Yerim today?" you asked as you stopped in your tracks facing him. "Doesn't have to." He simply replied and you nod your head. "She'll be mad, John." You said as a matter of fact— facing him while slowly backing away as he marly give you a shrug. "She doesn't have the right, though." you rolled your eyes at him "Just ask her to eat with us!"

Graduation was nearing and you've been offered a job at one of the top companies in the city, you didn't have the reason to turn them down so you accept and were set to sign the contract right after having your diploma.

This calls for a celebration, though.

When Johnny heard that he was the first one to know about something significant in his life, he was delighted.

You found yourself getting tipsy with the cheap booze in front of you and Johnny. You were laughing at something he said about his sister, holding the cheap beer in your hand as you chug the contents down your through. "Okay, That's enough," Johnny said whilst grabbing the cans of beer and putting them back at his refrigerator. You pout back at him but don't argue, you still have to attend your classes tomorrow morning and you don't want to miss anything for the last weeks you have for being a college student.

Johnny tucked you in his bed and you bid the sweetest goodnight on him, he leaves a sweet kiss on your forehead before heading for the couch in the living room to sleep on, since he had no energy to actually drive you home.

You woke up that night, feeling rather hot, unconsciously stripping out of your pants and bra out of habit, you walked to the kitchen for some water.

Walking with blurred vision, you find your way into the kitchen. The lights were dim as you passed by the living room completely ignoring the fact that Johnny could definitely walk on you wearing only your white tee and undies.

You helped yourself around the kitchen, rummaging in the refrigerator for a jar of water, your hands felt the cold lid of the jar, popping it open and chugging the contents down. You giggled after realizing that you should probably use glass and act like a lady for once since you're not in your own place.

You hissed as you struggle, reaching for a glass in the cupboard. "Just why is it placed so fucking high?" you asked yourself. A hand reached for the glass and you turned around, shocked and ready to pounce the person behind you.

you came face to face with Johnny. His face, only inches away from you. His hands find their way to your waist as he looked at you and the glass in his hands, he purred his self some water in the glass and chugged the whole content down.

"I got thirsty," he said. You moved beside so you don't disturb him, stepping at least five steps away.

He looked you up and down, the smell of booze around, is strong, it almost made you gag. Feeling the cold air between your legs, you looked at yourself. "Fuck." realizing that you were only wearing your white t-shirt; that you probably owned since 7th grade— Your breast was obvious that even your nipples were prominent, your shirt just hanging before your hip bone and then your undies.

You mentally slap yourself. He put the glass down and you put your hair in front to at least cover your hardening nipples away from him. Chills run down your spine as he took another step forward, clearing the distance between you.

"Hey-" he cut you off.

"Johnny," he says.

"What?" you asked, barely whispering. Your eyes moved down on their own, from his eyes down to his upper body, he was shirtless, giving you free access to his perfectly sculpted body, his pelvis, so sharp even a God couldn't compare. Again, you felt the burning sensation coming back in your throat. You touched your neck instantly as you tried to swallow.

"My name, say it," he whispered, you looked up only to be met by his eyes, dark with unknown lust as if burning you within. He keeps staring at you, keeping you captive with his eyes that you somehow felt naked.

"Johnny," you whispered trying not to sound like your practically moaning his name. He took a step forward, leaving no space between you and him. "Again." He commands you. You sucked a deep breath as you avoid eye contact.

"Johnny."

He used his index finger to lift your head as his thumb drew circles just below your chin to the base of your neck. blood rushed to your face as you suddenly felt hot on your cheeks as he put his hands on your waist again. He tilts his head, the smell of alcohol mixed with his aftershave and mint filled your senses, suddenly it wasn't too dark anymore.

He brushes his lower lip against yours that you barely felt it. He licked his lower lip as you bite yours. He stares intently at you. "You know, I would appreciate it if you don't walk around the house in these." his hands hot on your skin.

all rationality seems to fly out of the window, both of you staring at each other gazes, Johnny pulling you in for a much deeper kiss. "Didn't know you were this naughty with alcohol in your system," he murmured, Johnny's soft languid kisses were driving you wild, he moves at the base of your neck and sucked at the soft skin before pressing light kisses.

"Do you have any idea how much I want you?" he says softly, your breath hitches without knowing and you deliciously clenched around nothing upon hearing his statement, you were hypnotized by his eyes. Leaning down, he kisses you again.

You put your hands around his chest to push him slightly, gazing up toward him, "I want this," you whispered. "No. Not in the morning when you're sober enough to regret this," Johnny says, you ignore him and pulled him down to kiss him again, and Johnny lost all his logic with how delicious you tasted, you guide his hands on the hem of your shirt and slowly he peels it off for you and lets it fall down the floor.

Johnny put his arms around you and hauls you against his body, squeezing you tightly, his hands traveled down your waist and down to your behind, he holds you against his hips, and you feel his erection, which he gladly pushes into you, easily lifting you from the floor after, you moan once more in his mouth, He eases you towards the bed and you feel your back against the soft cushion once more.

Tentatively, you move your hands up to his face and his hair, tugging at it lightly as if implying for him to take you fully. But Johnny has other plans in his mind. He grabs your hips with both his hands and runs his tongue around your navel, gently nipping his way to your hipbone and across your belly to the other.  "Ah," You groan.

Seeing him on top of you, between your legs as you feel his hot breath against your skin, Is unexpected, but you wanted this as much as he wants it. Your hand on his hair, pulling gently as you try to quiet your loud breathing. He gazes up at you through impossibly long-lashed, and chocolate-colored eyes. His hand reaches the hem of your black underwear, leisurely pulling it down without taking his eyes off you, he stops and licks his lips, never breaking eye contact. Johnny leans forward, running his nose up the apex between your thighs, and you feel him.

"You smell so fucking good," he murmurs and closes his eyes. a look of pure pleasure on his face and you practically convulse.

You raise yourself on your elbows to see what he's doing, you were panting, you wanted him right there. shit

Moaning, you felt him run his tongue on the sleek of your heat, "Keep still," he murmurs and then leans down again to kiss down your clit. "How can I not move? you're making me feel this good." you felt him smirk against your skin. "Then, we'll have to work on keeping you still." there was a dangerous tone laced in his voice and you find it impossibly hot and twisted. You're flushed, skin burning, too hot, too cold, and you're craving more as you clawed at the sheets beneath you.

Johnny moves forward and you protested but the pleasure came back once more when he blows very gently on one of yours mound, his hands moving to the other breast, and his thumb slowly rolls the end of your nipple, elongating it. You moan, feeling the sweet sensation all the way to your groin.

"Johnny," you were wet, "Please," you beg silently as your fingers clasp the sheet tighter. His lips close around your nipple and he tugs, making you convulse. He doesn't stop.

Johnny moves his fingers around your clit, drawing circles as he laps on your mound,  you let yourself go from his touch. His thumb and finger continue doing you deliciously and you fall apart on his hands.

"Oh," you won't lie, that felt extraordinary, and now, you know the fuss around him is about. He gazes down at you, a satisfied smirk on his face and you're still in owe from your high.

Johnny was amazed at how responsive you are, he laced his fingers around you, drawing slow and lazy circles around your clit again, bringing another set of heat in your core. He closes his eyes briefly, his breathing hitches. You're deliciously wet and Johnny doesn't want to fuck you with a condom on, and neither did you.

He reaches over the bedside table, anyway, grabbing a foil packet, and then moving out of the bed to discard the rest of his clothes. You saw him, and your mouth watered at how long and thick he is. He kneels on the bed and pulls the condom onto his length. "I really don't want to use one."

"Is that going to fit in?"

"Don't worry," He breathes,  "You're wet enough, Angel. I know you can make me well," He murmurs as he positions the head of his erection at the entrance of your sex and pushing hard.

"Aargh!" You cry as you felt him sliding in, there was a weird sensation pinching deep inside you as he rips through you without warning. Johnny stills, his eyes bright with ecstatic triumph. His mouth opened slightly, his breathing harsh. He groans wanting to move.

"Fuck, baby, so tight."

"Johnny, Wait."

He stills for a moment, "Why?" You held onto his forearms, fucking him with a condom doesn't feel right, you wanted every little part of him, you wanted to feel him. Raw. "I- Can we remove the condom?" Johnny asks as if reading your mind.

You nod at him, You felt him slide out of you, removing the condom and throwing it at the trash bin beside his bed. Johnny positions his self once more, easing on to you, groaning. He loved every bit of it, this was the first time that you had sex without using protection, and the same thing goes for Johnny. Moving your hips up to him, as a sign that you wanted him to move already. He groans. You felt so full, as he let you acclimatize at the overwhelming feeling of him inside you. Naked, and Raw.

He eases back with exquisite slowness. Closing his eyes, Johnny controlled himself not on to fuck you hard, He thrust into you again, and you cry out in pleasure. He shifts into his elbow, and you feel his weight on you, holding you down. He moves painfully slow at first, easing himself in and out of you. You grew impatient and you can't help but move your hips up tentatively to meet his. He speeds up. Pounding on you, picking up speed by the second, merciless and in a relentless rhythm.

you can't help yourself to meet his thrust, making Johnny lose his mind because of you. Your body quivers. a sheen of sweat gathers over you. Your thoughts are scattered. There's only the feeling of him, of you, and him, and you stiffen.

"Come for me, baby," he whispers breathlessly, and you unravel at his words, exploding around him as you climax and shard into pieces with every being you had underneath him. And as he comes inside you, calling your name, thrusting hard, the stalling as he empties himself into you.

Johnny's breathing was ragged as you try to slow your breathing, your heart thumping hard and your thoughts in a disarray, you opened your eyes. His eyes flickered open and gaze down at you, dark but soft. He's still inside you, leaning down, he gently presses a kiss against your forehead then slowly pulls out of you.

Johnny cleaned you up and spoon you to sleep, he hoped that in the morning you won't regret what happened. Because he loved every moment of it.

--

Part 2? I didn't put the taglist because this is already reposted. so, yeah, hope u guys enjoyed! let me know what you think, I feel like i sucked making this.

[aliwritesfic]

First Date (Frankie “Catfish” Morales x F!Reader)

Summary: Frankie only downloaded Tinder after Santi basically forced him to one night, and he never expected to actually meet anyone on there.

Word count: 2.4k

Content warnings: Oral (F receiving), P in V, age gap, online dating, condom used

(I haven’t written creatively in almost 7 years so if this is a waste of time I apologise, also tagging @absurdthirst because i sent them an anon last night about being nervous to post this lmao)

Frankie looked at your photo again and rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. He wasn’t used to this whole online dating thing, and he certainly hadn’t expected to meet anyone on it. Pope swore by it for one-night stands and fuck buddies, and practically forced him to download the app and create a profile while they were all at their favourite bar and Benny had gone home with some girl. He’d swiped right on only a few people and made even less matches. Any conversations he’d had on there fizzled out after a few hours after telling them he didn’t have Snapchat, or Facebook, or Twitter, or anything else like that.

Then he’d matched with you.

Your profile was simple – a couple selfies, a photo on a hike with a beautiful staffy, and a group shot on a night out. Your bio was short and sweet – criminal justice and community welfare student, intersectional feminist, nerd. Lover of cheesy one liners and bad jokes.

Frankie had swiped right almost immediately. The only thing that gave him pause was the age gap – twelve years between you. There were bigger gaps, of course, but he’d never dated anyone more than two years younger.

“You’re both grown adults,” Pope said looking over his shoulder, “what the fuck are you waiting for?”

So, with that, Frankie swiped right and was instantly greeted with a match. His stomach jumped again as you sent the first message, a simple but effective ‘hey, what do teachers and ancient history have in common? They both Babylon!’

You both chatted for a few more days before Frankie decided enough was enough. He asked you out for dinner and drinks at a local sushi place that had recently opened. He felt ill as he waited for your reply, wondering if it was too soon. It was almost an hour later that you replied ‘YES! How’s fri at 8:30 sound?’

It was a date. His first in over a year. The boys had come over to help him get ready, feeling like he was in high school all over again.

Frankie stood outside the restaurant, wishing he hadn’t left his cap in the truck, or at least wishing he’d picked somewhere that didn’t seem like it had an unwritten dress code. But he’d wanted to impress, and the reviews of this place had been positive.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside and moved towards the hostess. “Table for two, under Morales.”

“Right this way sir,” the hostess smiled at him and led him towards a table near the back, and Christ you were already there.

You were even more beautiful in person, in a tight dark dress, heels and a denim jacket thrown over the back of your chair. You were reading the menu, a small frown on your face as you squinted at it. You didn’t even notice him approach until he was standing right next to you. When you looked up, your mouth transforming into a grin, his heart skipped a beat.

“Frankie?” You said, your name sounding like heaven on your lips. Frankie sat down opposite you, his palms suddenly sweaty.

“Hey,” he went to say your name and you cut him off with a wave of your hand.

“Please, everyone I like calls me Sunny,” you grinned at him and he knew exactly why.

“Well, Sunny,” Frankie felt himself grin back at you, “it’s nice to finally meet you properly.”

“I’ve been so nervous all day,” you admitted, “but a good nervous, like nervous excited. I was supposed to be making notes on one of my lectures today, but I couldn’t stop thinking about this date. It’s been so long since I’ve been on one, I just stressed myself out about it all day.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” Frankie laughed, relieved to know that the insanely beautiful woman in front of him was just as out of sorts as he was. He was beginning to feel more at ease with you already, something he hadn’t felt with someone new in a long while.

The waitress arrived then, beaming down at you as she asked if you were ready to order. Frankie ordered a plate of sashimi and a spicy crab roll, while you got a veggie roll, and you both ordered a shot of soju.

“Don’t like fish?”

You shrugged, “I’m allergic, not like deathly or anything but I get a rash and a really bad stomach ache. It sucked when I was travelling through Asia a few years ago.”

Frankie frowned, instantly regretting even suggesting the restaurant in the first place. “We can go somewhere else if you like,” he suggested, ready to do anything he could to make this a perfect first date.

“Oh god, no!” You smiled and Frankie’s stomach jumped. “I’ve been wanting to come here for a while now, so when you suggested it, of course I was gonna say yes.”

Frankie felt a little relieved at that, and you two talked for a while, waiting for your meals. He found out your dog was called Lola, you loved old music, and you were a disability support worker before your close cousin went to prison and you decided to enrol in university to study criminal justice. You found out he was a pilot, ex-military and he loved classic lit.

You continued to talk through your meal and several more drinks. He was beginning to deeply enjoy the sound of your voice, your laugh. You made him feel like you two were the only people in the room, everyone else was insignificant.

Eventually though, you both felt it was time to give up your table to someone actually paying. You tried to pay for your own meal and drinks, but Frankie insisted on paying. You both walked outside into the chilly night air, and Frankie couldn’t help but admire how beautiful you were even under the streetlights. You cleared your throat and Frankie noticed a blush creeping up your cheeks.

“I uh, I don’t really want this night to end, do you?” you asked. Frankie decided to do what he could feel himself wanting to do all night.

He stepped forward, closing the gap between you as he cupped your soft cheeks in his rough, calloused hands and kissed you. Your reaction was almost immediate, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and running your fingers through his hair, pressing your bodies together. Your tongue darted along his bottom lip and he instantly granted you access, his own tongue sliding into your mouth. He wanted you. Desperately.

“Do you want to come back to mine,” Frankie asked, his hands slid down to your waist, he kissed along your neck, feeling your pulse flutter under his lips. You moaned softly as his mouth found your collarbone.

“Yes,” you whispered, “god yes.”

He kissed you again, before breaking away to lead you back to his truck.

“How far?” you asked.

“Five minutes,” Frankie said, resting his hand on your upper thigh where the hem of your dress ended. He felt himself tighten in his jeans as he thought about what he wanted to do to you. He driver faster than necessary, turning the journey into a quick three minutes. Once the truck was off you didn’t waste a moment, pulling yourself onto his lap, straddling him between your thighs. Your lips met his frantically, like you were both starving for each other.

Frankie’s hardness pressed against his jeans as you ground against him. He kissed down along your neck and jaw, relishing in your soft moans. One hand stayed planted firmly on your ass, the other snaked up your body to your breasts, pulling your dress down to expose them. You weren’t wearing a bra, and the sight of your breasts in the silver moonlight was irresistible. Frankie’s lips kissed a path down your neck to your collarbone, down further still until he had a hard nipple in his mouth. His tongue flicked over it gently, while his hand played with the other, rolling it around between his finger.

“Frankie,” you moaned, arching your back to give him better access. “Fuck.”

“You like that baby?” he whispered looking up at you. You whimpered in response as the hand on your breast moved down your body toward your thighs.

“Please,” you spread your legs a little further for him, and his fingers began to massage your clit though your soaking underwear. Frankie’s tongue continued to work at your nipple licking and sucking while you cried out in pleasure.

His fingers teased the outside of your entrance, his thumb working your clit in methodical circles.

“Cum for me,” he murmured, his voice husky. You moaned in response, unable to form any words as his fingers slid easily inside of you. Frankie watched your face as he fingered you, his own cock straining against his jeans. God he wanted to fuck you, but not until you’d already cum for him.

Frankie moved his thumb in faster circles and you began to fall apart. You clenched around his fingers, crying out as your body shook with your orgasm. He moved his mouth up to kiss you, whispering between kisses.

“Fuck you’re so sexy,” he groaned.

“We need to go inside,” you panted, your body still trembling slightly. Frankie couldn’t agree more, fumbling with the door of his truck, then his house keys. The moment the door was open you were on him, pulling his jacket off his shoulders, unzipping his jeans. Your bodies moved together in the direction of the kitchen, knocking something down in the process.

Frankie moaned into your mouth as your hands glided up his torso under his shirt. He pressed you against the counter and lifted you up, yanking your dress down to your ankles in the process.

“I want to taste you,” he whispered in your ear, “do you want that?”

“Yes, Frankie, please,” you begged, desperate for him to touch you. He grinned slyly as he crouched down slightly in front of you and spread your legs. The sight of your underwear, drenched with desire, made his mouth water.

Frankie didn’t want to waste a single moment more. With one quick move he slid your underwear down your legs and was working your clit with his tongue. Two fingers moved inside of you and quirked in a come-hither motion.

Your whine of pleasure spurred him on, his tongue massaging your clit expertly. Frankie wanted to tell you how good you tasted, how sexy you sounded, but he didn’t want to waste a moment that could be spent pleasuring you.

“Frankie!” you gasped, your back arching. Your thighs pressed into the side of his head and he moved faster, harder, cock aching with the need to be inside you.

“Frankie, I’m gonna-“ your words were cut short by your orgasm, this one somehow more intense than the one in his truck. Frankie looked up at your face as you came, mouth never leaving your sweet wetness. Your head hung back, moans the only sound you’re able to make. Licking his lips, Frankie stood and cupped the back of your head gently, lifting it so he can look in your eyes. He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve someone as beautiful as you come home with him, but he wants to make certain it’s worth your while.

He leant down and whispered your name, the sound sweet on his lips. You sat up and kissed him gently, tasting yourself on him.

“Where’s your bed?” you murmured and Frankie smiled against you. Without another word he picked you up easily, wrapping your legs around his waist and carried you to his room, laying you gently on the bed. You looked beautiful, naked in the moonlight, staring up at him with desire.

Frankie discarded the rest of his clothes and climbed onto the bed so he’s hovering over you. His fingers traced soft circles on your waist.

“Are you sure you want to?” he asked

“I need you in me,” you reached up and pulled him closer, “I need you.”

Frankie reached over to his dresser and grabbed a condom, saying a silent thanks to his past self for buying them, and fitted it onto his shaft. Then he couldn’t wait a moment longer.

He lined himself up at your slick entrance, and slowly, gently, not wanting to hurt you with his larger than average size. You whimpered slightly as he pulled out, bucking your hips to stay closer to him.

Fuck you felt so good, you tight walls clenching slightly with each thrust. His thrusts became harder, slamming into you as his own ecstasy built. He moaned your name as you held onto his biceps, nails digging into his warm sweaty skin.

He didn’t know how much longer he could hold off on his own release, and with you looking at him they way you were, you made it almost impossible to hold back. But no, he wouldn’t. Not until you came a third time for him. He needed to feel you cum with his cock inside you.

Frankie moved his hand so it was between you both, and began to massage your slick, swollen clit. You cried out and clenched his biceps harder, and he felt the moment you couldn’t hold yourself back any longer, your walls tightening around his cock, coating it with your pleasure.

“Cum, Frankie,” you whispered in his ear, and god he wanted to. Frankie grunted as he finally couldn’t hold back any longer. Pleasure flushed through his body as he came to the sound of you moaning his name. In that moment, the only tangible things were his orgasm, the feel of you and your voice. It was a few moments before his thoughts became coherent again. He had never experienced pleasure like that with any other woman.

Reluctantly, he pulled out of you, noticing a bead of sweat that had formed between your breasts. Your eyes were half closed, but you watched him as he discarded the condom into a wastebasket, grabbed a box of tissues and with a touch gentler than he thought possible for him, began to clean up between your legs.

“You’re amazing,” he murmured. “Do you know how amazing you are?”

You giggled softly, sitting up to kiss him. “You’re the one who made me cum three times. Most guys can’t even manage once.”

Frankie stroked your cheek, his forehead pressed against yours, deciding in that moment you were someone he did not want to let go of. “Wanna stay the night?”

“Fuck yes.”

[lovesanmotion]

Precious - Song Mingi

💌 This is: Requested

Summary: in which PeterPan!Mingi finally confesses his true feelings for Tinkerbell!Reader

"I can't believe you would ever hurt Wendy like that!......When did you become so violent, y/n?" Mingi spoke with so much venom in his voice but the venom melted into a tone of sadness at the last question.

Partly you blamed yourself for being carried away by your emotions. You only ever wanted to save Mingi from being eaten by the sharks with chains and shackles on his wrists and ankles, but a wretched Wendy attempts to do the same but got herself thrown over the water. You only ever wanted to save Mingi and leave Wendy behind. Besides, it was her own fault for doing something so reckless and stupid without thinking.

"Don't you know you could have killed her?" Mingi's question made you imagine how the crocodiles or the giant red octopus would swallow Wendy whole, inside feeling sorry for her, a sinister smile painted your lips and a tinking sound echoes as you nodded your head.

"Y/N! I hereby banish you forever." Mingi declares, the rest of the lost boys gasp at the sudden declaration. It would always be Mingi and you going to numerous adventures along with the boys, but to vanish you. You stomped your foot and flied away to your own little room inside the willow tree that Mingi made for you some years ago. On your way, you were sure to catch Wendy say something to Mingi.

"Forever? Do you really have the heart to banish y/n forever?" She asked in a solemn tone.

"Well...maybe you're right. Maybe a week then!"

Too angry to even think and listen more at what they could be talking about, you shut your leaf curtain behind you.

And Mingi did keep his word. You were banished for a week, nothing what and where could they be doing without you. And all you could do is sit down miserably on the edge of the leaf, waiting for them to come back. But while waiting, a rustling sound was made from behind you, and suddenly, a purple bag enveloped you, a thread of tinking sounds resonated as you tried to rip the bag apart and dragging you away from Peter's home.

"I beg your pardon, ms y/n. But Captain Hook would love to have a chat with you." You noticed that grumbly old man's voice. It was Mr. Smee who had captured you and eventually take you to Hook's ship.

Once you were set free, you looked around the room, but there was only a wooden table with a fruit bowl and wine on top and a wooden piano that was being played by none other than Captain Hook himself. You sat on top of the untouched wine cork with your back turned against them. Would Mingi ever come for you?

"Ms. Y/N, you would be so delighted to hear that I will admit my defeat" you crossed your arms over your chest and huffed, a tinking noise was made.

"And that's why I took you here, Ms Y/N. To tell you that I have no ill feelings with Mingi." You slowly turned around and watched as Hook's fingers smoothly glides from key to key.

"But what about you and Mingi who brough that Wendy girl?" A devilish grin crosses his face as he leans closer to you. A tinking noises coming from you as you stomped both of your feet on the wine bottle and turned your back away from them again. You could feel the sinister look on Hook's face as he echoed the G key.

"Word around the island is that she came between you and Mingi." Hook's fingers continued to dance around the white and black keys of the piano. Aimlessly creating random melodies that seemed like a harmony.

You frowned and hung your head low, sniffing.

"What's this? Tears?! Then it is true!" Hook leaned his face closer to you, watching you bring your small hand over your eyes to wipe your tears. A tinking sound echoes as you nodded your head.

"How dare Mingi act like a man to a maid? Casting her aside just like that? Like an old glove!" Your lower lip trembled and you couldn't help but bury your face in your hands, sobbing.

"Now now, Ms Y/N. Just as promised. I will be leaving the island with no ill feelings with Mingi." Hook took your little form in his hand and brought you outside of his ship. You leant close to his face before departing.

"Not harm Mingi?" Hook repeated what you last said. "Madame, I will keep your word. Not to lay a finger on Mingi." You arched your pointing finger at him.

"Or a hook on Mingi." Hook repeated. And Hook brought his hand down with you, setting you free.

As you flied towards to Mingi's home, you passed by a mirror and stared at your reflection. The golden glow around you looked like it was fading, you huffed out a breath and trudgingly made your way back to your room.

And day by day, Mingi, the lost boys nor even that wretched Wendy came back to the house. You felt like a thousand needles were piercing through you and they hurted terribly. You could no longer fly nor walk properly, only crawl. The golden glow around you was no longer golden as they start to fade out. Finally, you gave in and your golden glow died out, with a last breath, you closed your eyes.

"Mingi...why is Y/N not moving anymore?" One of the lost boys asked as they took a peak at the little hole in the willow tree.

"Y/N looks...kinda bad" One said as they observed you. Unbeknownst to them that you have "lost your touch" while they are away.

"Kinda bad? kinda bad?" One lost boy repeated as tears started to brim in his eyes until the tears flowed out of his eyes. "This is hopeless. Poor little y/n!" He sobbed.

Mingi felt terrible as he watched your unmoving and lightless figure on your little bed.

"Can you guys go to wherever Wendy is? Make sure she's alright. I'll just talk to y/n alone." Mingi said as he turns to face the six lost boys before him, scrambling out of the room together. When they were all gone, Mingi turns back to face you, sighing.

"Y/N...I'm..I-I," Mingi sighed once more, huffing a breath. "I'm sorry for being so harsh on you, Y/N....I admit that it was my fault, and I didn't really intend to banish you forever. You know its always been me and you since the beginning right? Us two until the end." Mingi extended his hand out and took your little figure in the palm of his hand. But you still laid unmoving and your light still down.

"Remember when we once defeated Hook in Blindman's Tree and had the giant red octopus chase him? I still remember that day very vividly. Oh, and do you also remember when we first met the tribe and had a feast and danced around with them? I know you got jealous when their princess was being too close to me. I know I never said anything, but you looked really cute when you were jealous." Mingi chuckles as if he was talking to you like you were alive. And the next thing, Mingi sniffled as a tear falled out of his eye.

"I miss you, Y/N. We...the boys, we made Hook and his men leave the island." He choked, gulping his own saliva before releasing a breath. "But everytime I was battling Hook, I keep looking for a little golden figure around the ship. It...it-it....it isn't the same without you, y/n." He sobbed.

"Do you remember how we met in Fairy Town? That was the happiest memory I have in my head." He continued to sob over your unmoving and lightless figure. "I'm sorry and I love you, y/n."

Suddenly, a ray of golden light gleamed around you that made Mingi stop from crying, he watched as you slowly blink your eyes and regain your wings back. A smile replaced his frown and almost immediately, Mingi took your little figure and hugged you tightly.

[ficforce]

Cold Season

I wrote this whilst I was ill… It’s likely awful. Hinawa: No one even realised that Hinawa was sick until after he had collapsed in the break room. He had been quieter than usual and didn’t seem to take notice of the chaos that Arthur and Shinra were causing whilst Maki tried to stop them, Y/N had made him tea earlier but he had barely touched it… then he just passed out. Y/N had been closest after Obi and they laid him out on the couch to check his vitals, she noted right away that his skin was hot and with his hat removed she could see how pale he was. Why hadn’t she noticed? She was his girlfriend for goodness sake! “I’ll carry him to bed, Y/N, would you mind looking after him for a while?” Obi lifted the other man like it was easy and she followed after him quickly, “He’s real stubborn when it comes to his health, he’ll tell others to take a break or rest but when it comes to himself…” “He’s like any mother hen, he puts the chicks before himself – it’s one of the things I really love about him, Captain.” Obi threw a smile her way as she opened the door for him, “But you still wanna punch him for not saying anything, right?” “That’s correct, right in his dumb face.” They got him on the bed and Y/N unzipped his orange jumpsuit, “I’ll take care of it from here, would you mind sending some cold water and a flannel down, maybe some painkillers?” The man gave her a nod and headed out, Y/N pulled his arms out of the sleeves and tried to lift him a little to get it off; why did he have to be so heavy? Hinawa let out a soft groan and his eyes opened groggily, realising what was going on he sat up and made to get out of bed, “You’ve got a temperature, Takehisa, don’t you dare get up. Captain told me to look after you.” “… Then at least let me get out of these clothes.” Her eyes widened as she realised he wasn’t going to argue and she moved so he could change into a loose pair of pants and a tshirt before he laid back down. Y/N brushed her fingers over his jaw and then removed his glasses to set aside, “You should have said something sooner.” He let out a sound that was either denial or agreement to her words, “You got a headache?” “A little.” He hadn’t wanted to cause trouble for anyone, he wasn’t good at asking for help in the first place and now he had taken a member of their team away from duty to look after him, “I figured I would be fine.” “You’re just not used to being looked after, you have me now, Takehisa, you have Company 8 too, we’re your family and we can’t have our Mother running himself into the ground.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek and spent the rest of the day looking after him. Obi: Y/N nearly jumped out of her skin when the sound of metal crashing down onto the floor startled her. Turning her head she was surprised to see that Obi had dropped one of his ridiculously heavy dumbbells, “…You forget to chalk your hands or you just didn’t like the floor?” “Felt like all the strength left my arm…” his muscles had been aching since he’d gotten up that morning and felt out of breath, he hadn’t felt great the night before but he had hoped it would go away. “I think I’m gonna go lay down for a while.”

The woman got up from her seat and reached for his forehead, “You’re a little warm, you did sound a little raspy at breakfast too – you could have caught Vulcan’s chest infection.” His eyes seemed a little glazed over and he was swaying ever so slightly on his feet, “Come on, I’ll get you some medicine and let Lieutenant Hinawa know you’re not feeling great.” Obi went with her obediently, they passed by Iris and Tamaki, the two girls sympathetic at their Captain’s condition, they agreed to let Hinawa know so that Y/N could look after Obi. “Wow, you’re fading fast, Akitaru,” his pace was slowing and he had to stop to lean against the wall as a wave of dizziness overwhelmed him, “Easy… come on, we’re nearly there.” He practically fell onto the bed when they got there, he hadn’t felt this weak since last time he was ill – it was a rare occurrence but when he was hit he went down hard, “I want the mascots at my funeral, make sure Hinawa wears something normal… tell my girlfriend I love her.” “I love you too,” she ruffled his hair a little, “And you’re not going to die… it’s just a cold.” “Will you feed me soup and rub that gross stuff on my chest to help me breathe?” Obi caught her wrist and brought her down for a hug; who knew he would be such a baby?

Rekka:

Rekka was either too stupid to stop or too stubborn, Y/N wasn’t sure which and she exhaled loudly when the man hunched over to cough almost violently. He was trying to finish his morning laps despite being told he was too sick, he’d come down with a cough a few days before and thought he could burn it out through sheer willpower and prayer. “Rekka,” she called and began uncapping the bottle of water she had brought, “Oi! If you start running again I’ll kneecap you! Rekka!” He waved her off with a dumb grin and made it a few more paces before he fell onto his hands and knees. “Nuisance is gonna be a nuisance… what a nuisance.” Karim had come out after Burns had told him to fetch the moron on the running track – he figured that the Captain meant Rekka. “If he’s not listening to you, Y/N, I’ve got less of a chance.” “Leave it with me, I didn’t come all the way across Tokyo to watch him run; he’s such an inconsiderate man at times.” “He’s hot-blooded, probably burned right through his fever. Want me to freeze him?” Y/N looked at him with a raised eyebrow, he looked vaguely serious so she shook her head and wandered over to her fallen priest. Her hand stroked his back and she handed him the bottle, “You’re setting a bad example for the kids, you tell them to rest when they’re ill but you’re out here trying to literally fight a cold.” Rekka looked up at her, his expression forced as he tried to tell her he was fine but then he slumped into her arms, “Rekka!” He was out of breath and when she cupped his cheek to bring his head up a little he pressed into it with a mumble of her being cold; perhaps he hadn’t burned through his fever. “If you’re a good boy, I’ll make you something good to eat and even bring it to you in bed, how’s that sound?” “My stars…” it was a little mumble but he sounded somewhat happy for her offer. Foien Li: Foien was a sensible man, as soon as he had felt himself coming down with a cold he had signed himself off for a few days, he stayed in his room and tried a few home remedies. There was a day when he felt terrible, he hoped he could sleep it off and start to feel better… A knock on his door alerted him to a visitor and when it opened a little he smiled at Y/N peeking through at him, “You’ll get sick too.” “Then you can take care of me,” she placed a tray down on his desk, patiently waiting for him to sit himself up before handing him a mug of hot honey and lemon, “I brought you a couple of books to read, It can’t be any fun locked up here… Did I see you at the back of the Cathedral this morning?” “I wanted to attend prayers but I didn’t want to get anyone else sick,” Foien gave a sigh as she pressed her hand to his forehead, it felt cooler than his skin and he pressed into the touch, his eyes opened a little and Y/N gave him a bright smile – she always said he had the prettiest eyes. He was grateful to her for looking after him and even though he risked making her ill and having to confess later, the man leaned over to kiss her cheek, “What would I do without you, Y/N?” Y/N adjusted her habit a little to hide her flushed face, “You’d have to rely on Karim to look after you and he’d complain the whole time…” “It would give me more of an incentive to get better.” His answer made her giggle, the sound made him feel better already. Karim: “I told you to go to bed,” Y/N walked toward the back of the Cathedral where the Lieutenant was leaning his head on the pews in front of him, his slumped over form didn’t move even as she poked him in the shoulder. “Karim, come on, you should be resting…” He raised his head and she sighed at him, he looked all stuffy and his eyes were watery, it was amazing he was even able to walk there in the first place. He never missed her choir practice, it was sweet that he would come even though he had a headache and Foien’s cold from the week before. Y/N took his hand and pulled him up slowly, “Come on.” Karim followed her obediently, no smart comments or sarcasm escaping him as they made their way through the large hallway, they reached his room and she reached

into his pocket for his key, “Should get your own key.” “Imagine the gossip,” She followed him inside and helped him with his clothing, “Though they already talk about us like we’re committing a criminal act, couldn’t you just quit being a priest and then it might be better?” “How about you stop being a nun?” He knew she was kidding, they both took some odd joy out of upsetting the really pious followers of Sol with their relationship, “If you did that though I wouldn’t get to hear you sing anymore…” Karim laid down on top of his covers and coughed, he didn’t understand how he seemed to be worse than Foien was with this, the other Lieutenant had given it to him in the first place. “So sick of being sick.” Y/N pet his hair gently, “Only two repetitions? You must be ill,” Karim gave a half shrug and pulled weakly at his pillow, “Want me to get you anything?” “Just stay with me, Y/N…” Burns: She couldn’t figure out if he was running a fever or not, the Captain retained a large amount of heat at all times, Y/N gave a sigh and offered him an apologetic smile, “I never was a very good nurse, how do you actually feel?” He hadn’t complained about feeling ill but she doubted he would be too verbal about it, the fact that he was wearing his jacket properly and looked like he was cold was really her only clue. “It’s just a bug my kind Lieutenants have gifted me – I’m a little chilly but otherwise I’m sure I’ll survive. You don’t have to worry about me, Y/N” He wasn’t used to being coddled and Leonard felt somewhat pleased by her attention, “I’ll make sure to rest a little.” “It’s hard to imagine you would ever feel cold, you can stay here for a little while and rest, I’ll make you something to eat and you can use the phone to let your Company know. It’s nearly a full hour back home for you, besides, it’s getting late.” He had only come out because she had asked him to visit on his day off, if Y/N had known then she wouldn’t have. Y/N took his hand and gave it a squeeze, “Please, Leonard, let me look after you just this once?” She was looking at him so sincerely that he couldn’t find it in him to say no, the man gave in and nodded, “Just this once.” Konro: “Konro’s dying!” Hinata tugged on Y/N’s sleeve whilst Hikage nodded alongside her. “Konro’s not dying, he’s got a cold.” She shooed the girls away toward the door and told them to go play, it was hard enough looking after her boyfriend without the twins trying to help. Y/N heard him coughing from the hallway and she couldn’t help but wince a little at how painful it sounded – his lungs were already shot from the tephrosis. There was no doubt he was suffering but he was pretty stubborn in keeping it to himself. “I brought you something to hopefully help your throat,” she knelt beside his futon and helped him sit up, Konro gave her a weak smile and once more insisted he just needed to nap it off. “Drink this, then you can take a nap… it’ll probably help you sleep better too.” He wasn’t getting much rest as it was, the coughing would wake him up and then he wouldn’t be able to settle down again for a long while. Konro hated feeling like a burden, he felt like that most days and now he was knocked out by this… it was irritating how he could fight most things but a cold simply wasn’t one of them. “You know you’re gonna get sick too, right? It’s probably too late to stop it from happening now.” “If I get sick, will you look after me?” As if she really had to ask. The man reached out and gently cupped the back of her head before pulling her close and pressing his forehead to hers, “Course I will, I won’t be as good as it as you are but I won’t let that stop me.” Benimaru: Benimaru reverted into a small child when he got ill, he had ignored it for so long that, one day, every symptom hit him at once and the Captain went down. His eyes watered, he couldn’t hear out of his left ear, his throat hurt, his chest hurt, he was cold and there was nothing he could do about it now. He’d bundled himself up in a large blanket and huddled against his girlfriend as she had sat

minding her own business. Y/N had moved the blanket a little to peek under the hood he had made with it and glassy red eyes looked at her almost pleadingly. Benimaru wasn’t clingy. He especially didn’t come into the main room, wrapped in a blanket cocoon and nestle into her side like a sad, oversized toddler. “Good Luck moving him.” Konro sighed as he entered the room, he was fully aware of the Beni Bio-hazard Blanket, “I’ll get some medicine for him… you’d better just accept you’re not moving from there without him.” Y/N looked back down at her boyfriend and reached in to stroke his hair, “You can’t fight a cold, huh?” He wriggled a little closer to her and rested his head on her shoulder, content for her to pet his hair and when Konro returned with the medicine, he made her feed it to him; his excuse being that he was cold and trapped in the blanket. She figured he was just craving the attention and felt needy from being so poorly. For the rest of that day he communicated in differently toned whines, grunts and ‘tch’, the only time he left her side was when one of them needed to pee.

[thestyleswritings]

Fix You

"We talked about something you said to me a while ago." She says, tone short. He couldn't tell if she was angry or if she was being shy about something.

 "Well? I'd love to hear what I said that you're still thinking about months later and talkin’ to your therapist about, baby." The hand that lay stationery on her thigh squeezed a bit, encouraging her to talk to him.

 "You said something about making a baby with me. Haven't been able to stop thinking about it." She muttered, biting her lower lip. His whole body went rigid beneath her at that.

Or - The one where you have depression and Harry leads you in the right direction, and then some

(6.1K)

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Mention of Mental Health Issues, VERY brief mentions of suicide, Language, Possible Breeding Kink(??), Smut (at the end)

Masterlist

I wrote this in one night,,, shout out to mania.This isn’t even what I was working on. I don’t know if this is something that many people will want to read but it definitely brought a smile to my face to write. Do I need therapy? Probably. Will I ignore that and continue to escape my own mind through fiction? Absolutely. Reblog/Like if you enjoy!

  Harry knew she'd been struggling for a long time. It wasn't like her depressive periods lasted very long when they happened, maybe around a week or so, but when they hit, they hit her hard. He'd asked her when they first started dating, years ago, why she never invited him over and why she always went to his place, and at first she didn't want to tell him. It was embarrassing to her that she sometimes got into these periods where she didn't even want to lift her head from the pillow, let alone tidy up her flat.

  Harry eventually went over to her place once she felt comfortable enough to let him. She knew he wasn't going to judge her, and she knew all he wanted was to help her feel better. He stayed at her flat for hours the first time he came over, helping to fold the laundry she had done days before, dusting the bookshelf, clearing out the refrigerator. He'd joked they were a perfect match since he loved to clean up while listening to music they both loved; it relaxed his mind. His love language was acts of service anyway, which he constantly had to remind her of. He didn't mind doing anything and everything in his power in order to alleviate his lover's stress. She had sworn to Harry she'd try her best to keep the place in tiptop shape, but he didn't actually expect her to.

  He'd lost more than one friend to severe depression and he knew it was nothing to take lightly. Unfortunately, he also knew the signs to look for in suicidal people all too well. He could tell she had become moodier and spent a good bit of her day in bed either sleeping or just staring off into the void. She texted him that she was at home more and more, opting out of seeing her close friends for drinks or dinner. He hadn't seen her, either. It was all beginning to worry him deeply. He knew she'd have bad days, he'd signed up for that, but this was bigger than just a rough day. It had been going on for nearly two weeks and he knew he couldn't wait to address it any longer. He wanted to approach her tenderly. He was fearful that if he misspoke, she would shut down.

  That's how he ended up at her door one evening, unannounced. He brought along two sunflowers, one significantly taller than the other. He'd seen them at the florist's downstairs and they made him smile to himself. They were her favourite flower, and the posture of them reminded him of both of them. He hoped they would make her smile, too.

  He didn't bother ringing the bell, fishing out the spare key she had made up for him from his jeans pocket. When he stepped through the threshold, his heart sunk. There were empty cups on the coffee table, and he knew that meant she wasn't eating. If she were, there would've at least been a bowl or two. In that regard, her untidiness was helpful. He could assess the situation before even having to talk about it. 

  He sighed deeply as he gently places the sunflowers down on the kitchen island, walking over to clear the short table in front of the loveseat. He could practically feel the pain she was in and he hated.  He hated the fact that she had to be stuck with the short end of the stick. He walks the cups over to the sink, running the water over them for a moment before grabbing the sponge on the ledge of the sink to scrub them clean.

  As he washed the cups, he thought of what he could say to her that would actually prove to be helpful. It wasn't easy to always have the right words when the person hearing them didn't care if they lived or died. He knew if he told her outright how upset he was seeing her this way, it would only serve to make her feel worse that she couldn't help it. He didn't want to force or therapy on her, but he really wasn't left with many options. He wouldn't lose someone else to this. He couldn't live with himself, nor without her.

  He shuts off the tap and dries his hands on the cute yellow kitchen towel that was always draped on the cabinet next to the sink. With the flowers in hand, he cracks open her bedroom door. There are a few small piles of clothing around, t-shirts and sweatpants carelessly discarded based on the look of how everything was inside out.

  The sight of her breaks his heart. She was curled up tight beneath her fuzzy blanket that he knew she only pulled out when she was missing him and his snuggles, facing the wall while her arm hung limply over the stuffed dragon he'd gotten her ages ago. He could tell she hadn't gotten up all day, that much was evident. All the lights in the apartment had been off when he'd arrived and there was a stillness to the air. She hadn't even answered his messages sent hours earlier. He thought the worst for a moment, frozen in place with wide eyes trained on her unmoving body before hearing a soft snore coming from her, easing his breathing exponentially.

  He sits on the edge of her bed, placing the flowers with a shaky hand in a cup of water that had been sitting on her bedside table. He brings his hand up to the dip of her waist, gently rubbing up and down the length of her torso to soothe her awake.

   "Wake up, bug. S'me. Brought ya a little present." He coos at her once he heard her intake a large breath, reaching up to tuck her thick hair behind her ear. He could tell she hadn't washed it in a few days and made a mental note to encourage her to shower with him. She stirred under his touch, like she could tell it was him even when she was deep in slumber.

  "Harry?" She calls out quietly into the dark, feeling the warmth of his palm against her cheek. Had she been more awake and alert, she might've even been sheepish at her disheveled appearance. She already knew he saw all the empty cups on her table that had once been full of tea and coffee. She felt ashamed.

  "Yeah baby, it's me. Can you turn around and let me see that pretty face?" He croons, removing the hand that had been stroking her hair.

  She sighs deeply before turning over in her full sized bed, eyes focusing on the plush faux-down blanket beneath her. His hand slowly approaches her face again, this time grabbing hold of her chin softly to have her look at him. He smiles sadly at her. She knew that look. It's the same way her mother would look at her when she came into her room as a teenager. Pity, almost. It made her feel weak. 

  "Hello, my angel. Have you been in bed all day, lovie?" He dotes on her, running his thumb across her cheekbone. He knew the answer, he just wanted her to acknowledge it.

  "Mhm. What time is it?" Her voice is hoarse, as if she'd been crying the night before. The sound of it deflated Harry's heart in his chest.

  "S' a quarter til six, lovie. What time did you fall asleep?" He asks, leaving his hand on her face to cradle her soft cheek.

  "Dunno. Seven, eight? This morning sometime." She replies, sighing at her own erroneous sleeping schedule. Harry presses his lips together silently, taking in her words.

  "Alright. Well, I'm here now, so up you get." He requests softly. Softly enough where she doesn't find it demanding. He stands from her bed, holding a hand out to her.

  "Did I hear you say you brought me something?" She asks as she sits up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. He chuckles at her, knowing that a huge part of her mental illness caused her to crave buying material possessions, only for them to mean nothing to her the very next day. It was something she was truly trying to work on.

  "Yes baby, I did. S' on the bedside table." He informs her, waiting for her to turn and see them before he walks closer to her. She caresses the vibrant petals of the yellow flower, biting her lower lip between her teeth.

  "I... I love them, Harry. Thank you." He can hear the tightness in her throat and he worries that he should've just not gotten them at all for a moment before he sees the genuine smile across her lips.

  "I saw them and thought of you. Well, us, really. Don't they look like us?" He beams at her, and she sort of thinks she can see what he means. He looks like a sunflower when he smiles. He brings light and beauty into her life. Maybe that's why she found herself wanting to cry. Because she felt like she wasn't worthy of the human sunflower standing in her room.

  "Yeah. They do look like us." She offers a smile, smaller this time now that she's thought about it. She wraps her arms around his middle, allowing the overwhelming feeling of warmth and comfort to consume her for a moment before pulling away.

  "I should probably go clean off the coffee table, huh?" She says humorlessly, walking the way of the door before his voice stops her.

  "I did it for you, baby. Why don't you come with me to have a nice warm shower? I want to talk to you about some things while we're in there anyway."  Panic strikes her still; what did he want to talk about? Was he finally fed up? Did he find someone else, someone who could take care of themselves properly? Was that why he was being especially sweet on her? She felt like she could throw up. She didn't know how to do this without him anymore, and that alone scared her. It wasn't to say she didn't adore him for all that he does for her, she just wished he didn't feel like he had to. She wished she could get her mind well enough to care to do even the simplest tasks.

  She nods her head and thanks him quietly for straightening up before walking into her bathroom and stripping down to nothing. She reaches into the shower to turn on the water and waits for it to get warm, as well as Harry. She didn't like the sound of wanting to talk, even if he hadn't necessarily said it in a menacing way. When he joins her, he follows her lead by taking everything he wore off. He didn't want to look at her body for too long and become distracted like he often did when he saw her, especially when he really saw her. She had soft features and her body was always so pliant in his hands. Though, he couldn't allow his mind to wander right now.

  He gets in first, testing the water and making sure it was around the temperature they both liked before reaching for her hand and pulling her in gently. She expected him to keep some distance, so when he wrapped his arms around her from behind as they stood under the steady stream of water, she was a bit taken back. Was he being overly affectionate as a way to say goodbye? He places a few kisses to her shoulder before peeling himself away and grabbing her peach shampoo off the built-in shelf. She leans her head back to make sure her hair is all wet before allowing him to lather her hair with the sweet smelling soap for her. She always loved how he massaged her scalp with it.

  "So, I know you might think I wanted to talk about something bad, but I promise it's nothing bad. I just want you to know that before you start making scenarios up in your mind." He speaks softly, matching the pressure of his fingertips in her hair. He sees her shoulders sag and he feels awful. She'd already started thinking of potential issues he may have wanted to talk about. He carries on by rinsing the shampoo out and repeating, creating a much foamier lather the second time around. He rinses it out for her by guiding her beneath the waterfall, following up with the peach conditioner.

  "What do you want to talk about?" She whispers, enjoying the feeling of Harry's hands moving lower with her wash rag, scrubbing her limbs delicately as to not harm her skin.

  "Well... you. You know how much I love you, yeah? Can't fuckin' live without you, you know? Hurts me when we're apart for too long, or when we have to sleep alone. I, um... I just want you to be happy," he sighs. He prattled on a bit; his thoughts were jumbled and he didn't know how else to tell her this.

 "I want to be able to know you're okay when I'm not with you, even if I want to be with you always. I know you're going through a rough spot right now, and I want you to have help. More help than just me," he's as gentle as he can be, and she appreciates it. It doesn't mean she wants to cry any less, of course, but she knows he has the purest intentions.  

  He wants her to thrive, not just survive. He knew he could only do so much for her before she had to start doing things for herself. He loved to baby her and take care of her, but not when he had to. He wanted to help her shower sometimes and feed her because he wanted to, not because she wouldn't do it herself if he didn't.

 "Are you saying you want me to find a therapist?" She asks softly. She's not opposed to the idea, she just never found the strength to actually care enough about her own mental well-being to make an appointment. 

  "Are you okay with that? Would you be open to it if I helped you find someone to talk to? And maybe try medication? I know it's a lot at first, but it helps so many people. Just can't keep seeing you so sad. Hurts my soul, since we share the same one." He turns her around now to look at her property while they spoke. He could see the furrow in her brow, like someone was pinching them together with their fingers. 

 He saw the tears welling up in her eyes and his heart nearly explodes at the pout forming on her face. This isn't what he wanted to happen. He didn't want to make her cry. Her chin trembles as she tries her hardest to look anywhere but at his face.

  "Oh, baby," he coos, wrapping her up in his arms once more, "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm so sorry, m'love," he kisses the top of her head, peppering them all around wherever he could reach. "M' just worried, baby. When I came in earlier it looked like you- I just, I can't imagine what I would do if-" he's slightly panicked now, she can feel his heart picking up it's pace. She didn't know that was something he worried about with her and it made her whole body ache.

  "You didn't. It wasn't that. I would really appreciate if you could help me find someone to help me further. I'm crying because I'm hurting you when I don't deserve you in the first place," she sniffles, pressing her face further into the slippery skin of his neck. "You deserve someone who's whole, someone who you don’t have to worry about."

  "Hey," he pulls back from her, holding both her shoulders so he can look her in the eyes, "I love you. So much that I'd die without you at this point. Just told you that. Please don't put thoughts and words into my mouth. I mean everything I say to you, don't let your brain fool you into thinking it's not true. When I tell you I love you, please know I mean that with everything I have and everything I am. I'm not whole without you. I worry because I love you so much that it would kill me to lose you," His voice is soft yet firm all at once, conviction filling his tone.

  "Promise?" She asks weakly, knowing what he's telling her is the truth. Her brain tended to sabotage her.

  "I promise." He kisses her lips, backing her underneath the water once more to rinse her off before reaching behind her to shut off the water. He steps out before her, grabbing her towel and wrapping it around her short body.

 "I'm going to make something for us to eat, angel. Come sit with me at the counter so I don't get lonely?" He asks once they're both dressed. He wore her sweatpants and t-shirt while she wore his Christmas themed pyjama pants with his Spice World hoodie.

 "You want me to?" She can't help but wonder why he wants her to be around him so much. She knew he loved her and they'd been dating for almost four years, but she found herself to be a buzzkill. She just exuded sadness, she thought. Harry scoffs at her playfully, rolling his eyes. He knew she couldn't help but doubt herself, but he still found it absurd. Of course he'd want to be around her all of the time. She was so accepting and loving, even if she didn't think so. She was good.

"Obviously, angel. Always want you within two feet of me. As a matter of fact, I wish you were pocket-sized so I could bring you everywhere with me until you got sick of seeing my big dumb head." He smirks at her, making her genuinely laugh. She hadn't done that in a while.

 "You're such a dramatic nutter." She laughs, pushing him away from her so she could walk into the kitchen to find a stool to occupy.

 "Me!? Were you not the one that cried because you couldn't stop thinking about The Hunger Games?" He comes in behind her, smacking her ass playfully in retaliation of her push before quickly walking at least an arms distance away from her.

"That's literally not fair? Finnick deserved so much better than that. You cried when we watched it together too, fucker!" She explains even more dramatically than he had been in the first place, as if he hadn't been there too. He chuckles as he opens her refrigerator, kissing his teeth when he finds nothing defrosted to cook. All she really had was oat milk, a bottle of homemade cold brew and a few cups of yoghurt.

"Fair enough. I'm going to take this chicken down so we can make it tomorrow, but since there's nothing else, do you wanna do Japanese?" Kicking the door closed as he walks closer to her with two water bottles in hand.

"You know I can never say no to Japanese. I'll order it," she offers, but he's already shaking his head with his phone in hand.

"It's on me. We're eating food you bought tomorrow, s'only fair. I wanna know what else you could never say no to? Like maybe... moving in with me?" He says without looking up as he places the order, already having her favourite meal saved on his phone, along with his own.

 At first, she doesn't react. She doesn't move a single muscle, not even her eyes. He doesn't take her stunned silence personally, waiting for her to process what he'd just offered. He can practically see the cogs turning when he looked at her.

"You want me... to live with you... in your big beautiful mansion of a house..." She says slowly, turning her gaze to his own. He exhales a laugh at the flabbergasted expression on her face.

"Yes, baby. Told you I'd bring you everywhere with me, and we've been together almost 4 years, known each other 6. I don't know about you but I'm ready to wake up to your face every day." He smirks once more, reaching out to tucker her hair behind her ear like he always did. He just wanted to see more of her pretty face.

"You- I... Harry. You know what? Yeah. I will." She had began to refuse before catching herself. This was a normal next step in a long term relationship. She wouldn't sabotage this. She was a better version of herself when she was with him, and they made each other happy. 

"Yeah? You will? I'm so happy baby, thank you. I'm tired of waking up alone and missing you every day. It's dumb." He tackles her in a hug, attacking her with a million kisses. He doesn't bother holding back the few happy tears he sheds, he doesn't care and he knows she doesn't either.

—

  He had proposed to her the day she moved in, after she unpacked her last bedroom item and found a place for it. It was the silly green dragon, who now lived between two puffy pillows on their shared bed. He'd had the ring burning a hole in his dresser for over a year and he couldn't stand it anymore once he saw how at home she'd made herself. That, and he wanted to make love to her while she wore the sparkling diamond.

Something about the visual prompted him to drop to his knee behind her instantly.

  It had been a year since she moved into Harry's “big beautiful mansion of a house”, and they were happier than ever. She was seeing a therapist that she enjoyed, someone whom she felt comfortable with. She had also begun taking medication. The first few prescriptions weren't right, but Harry encouraged her to keep trying different things and held her hand along the way. She finally found the one that matched her chemistry, and it worked a treat. She could focus on things better, and she had the energy to do so many things that she would even go on the occasional run with Harry. It was amazing for him to see her in such high spirits. It was like the her that only he could see was finally free, brightening up the world around her. More importantly, she could finally see herself that way, too.

A few months after she said yes, he had said something to her that she couldn't shake.

"Wanna make babies with you."

  He'd said it to her in passing, staring at her with hearts in his eyes as she sat on the grass in the garden. The sun was hitting her skin so beautifully and she just looked so radiant. He couldn't help it. It had just slipped out.

  She brushed it off at the time, but now it was all she could think about. She had even told her therapist about it. While the older woman seemed excited for her, she still asked if that was something she'd want. If she'd even thought about it.

  And truthfully, she had thought about it before. A lot. She's thought about Harry rubbing her tummy, kissing it and singing. She's thought about them falling asleep together when the baby is finally born. She's thought about how much of a daddy's girl they'd have, if it turned out to be a girl. She's thought about how if he babies her this much, she would love to see how much he'd baby their real baby. She's thought about how much she and Harry would love their shared creation. She’s thought about how much more love it could bring into their lives.

  She'd arrived home from a session one day after work to find Harry peacefully reading on the couch in the soft yellow light of their living room. She took a moment to admire him from this perspective before making her presence known. Jingling her keys a bit harder than usual, making his head turn in time to watch as she hangs them up before shedding her coat and walking over to the back of the couch.

 "Hello, my love." She coos, rubbing her flat palms against his chest. She kisses the side of his face a few times and he grabs hold of her hands, clutching her closer and enjoying her warmth.

 "Hi, lover. How was today? Work was alright?" He lets her hands go with a kiss so he can dog-ear's his page before shutting his book, giving her his undivided attention. She rounds the couch and decides to sit on his lap, looping her arms around his neck. His hands automatically shift to hold her waist.

"Work was the same. People are obnoxious and rude. What can I do? Session went well too. Talked about something I've been thinking about a lot." She looks down at him, tracing her finger subconsciously against the silver chain he never took off. She can't help but smile at how pretty her lover is, making him reflect the same expression.

 "Want me to go down there and give them a talking to? You know I'd do it." He glares playfully, furrowing his brows and puffing his chest. She laughs softly at his silly demeanour. It's one of the things she loves the most about him.

 "Shut up. Annoying," She laughs, hiding her face in his neck. He laughs with her, dropping a hand to one of her thighs to smack it lightly for her comment, ultimately choosing to leaving it resting there.

"That's you. Anyway, what did you talk about? Is there something bothering you?" He asks, ignoring the way her brow raises at him for calling her the annoying one. They had such a lighthearted relationship. It filled them both with joy.

 "We talked about something you said to me a while ago." She says, tone short. He couldn't tell if she was angry or if she was being shy about something.

 "Well? I'd love to hear what I said that you're still thinking about months later and talkin’ to your therapist about, baby." The hand that lay stationery on her thigh squeezed a bit, encouraging her to talk to him.

 "You said something about making a baby with me. Haven't been able to stop thinking about it." She muttered, biting her lower lip. His whole body went rigid beneath her at that.

 "You've been thinking about it this whole time and didn't say anything?" He questions softly, looking up at her with loving eyes. She nods her head, looking off to the side to gather her thoughts.

"Yeah. I... I really want that, Harry. I already promised to love you forever when I said yes, and you make me so much better. I can't imagine how amazing you'll be as a father. I, um, I also stopped taking my birth control a few days ago." She spoke with confidence. She knew this was what she wanted, and she could tell he did too. There was something in the way she spoke about it that made him stand with her in his arms.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to put a baby in you?" He speaks boldly, almost matter of fact. He wasn't asking, he was confirming. She says nothing, choosing instead to nod furiously.

 He beams at her, bringing her all the way to their bedroom before sitting her delicately on the bed. She rolled her eyes at that; it's not like she was already pregnant. He catches the look and reaches to her shoulder to shove her on the bed with an eye roll of his own.

"Better?" He mocks, grinning from ear to ear at her shocked expression. He takes his shirt, that was actually her shirt, off along with his joggers before clambering on top of her.

"You're such a knobhead." She laughs, taking off her own shirt. She didn't feel like waiting.

"A knobhead that you want to come in you. A knobhead that you want to father your children!" He exclaims jokingly. She can't help the grin on her face, pulling his chin until their lips met. Her grin evaporates when she feels him practically rip her skirt off, alongside her flimsy thong. She gasps at the feeling of his fingers on her, rubbing over her slit ever so gently. Feeling how wet she was for him.

"Were you thinking about this on your way home? You're fucking drenched." His voice had lost all sense of humour, acquiring a certain gravel to it that only served to make her wetter. She only nods, kissing his lips in a pleading sort of way.

"You want my baby this bad, huh? Want me to make you a mummy? Want to make me a daddy? S' that it, angel?" She couldn't take it anymore. The sound of his voice was driving her insane and she had checked if she was ovulating this morning and found out she was. It was like her body was demanding for him.

  "Yes! Yes, lover. Please? Want it so bad," Harry felt his heart warm at the tone of her voice. He knew they called each other lover in bed when they were feeling too romantic, too lost to the moment. In a good way. She was truly desperate to try for a little person with him. Quickly, he rolls them over so she's sat atop him once more. He kisses her immediately, bringing his hand down to dip his fingers into her now sopping wet hole.

  She choked on a gasp as she felt him slide two in, curling them at the joint to apply pressure exactly where he knew she needed it. He took advantage of her head falling back, attacking her neck with tender love bites and kisses. His other hand roamed around her stomach and back for a bit before reaching for her chest, tweaking her nipple between two slender fingers. Her jaw dropped when she felt his thumb land on her clit, circling hard and fast.

  "God, Harry! Fuck," she could hardly breathe at the efforts her lover was putting in. "Yes! Yes," her praise was quiet, but it fuelled him regardless.

  He was always an attentive lover, but something about his actions were nearly feral. Like he couldn't get enough, no matter how much she gave him. He would always want more of her. More sound, more taste, more feeling. He wanted her to always evade and overwhelm his senses. He moans at her noises, along with the feeling of her clenching around his fingers.

  "C'mon, lover. Come so I can put our baby in ya," he breathes against her neck, licking any patches of skin he can reach. Her eyes roll back at his words, crying out for both him and God.

"Tha's it, lover. Good girl," he whispers huskily, slowing the movement of his fingers and moving the other hand to hold her body even more tightly against his. When he can feel her body shuddering, he pulls his fingers from her and sticks them in his mouth, sucking them clean in a filthy way.

  "Please put our baby in me," she requests in a small voice with a smile, tears streaking down her cheeks. She was so overwhelmed by him and by the prospect of what they were doing that she started crying happy tears. His smile is worth everything to her in that moment, pulling his face up for a kiss.

  "Yeah, lover. I'll do that," his voice is tender, like his touch. He kisses her as he lays her body beneath him again, stopping for a moment to take in her form. Her body was so gentle and relaxed after he'd made her feel good, and he couldn't help but kiss her tummy. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and her hair was starting to frizz, but she'd never looked better.

  This wasn't by any means the first time they'd had sex without a condom but it was, however, the first time they'd done it without her taking birth control.

The rational part of their minds knew it wouldn't physically feel any better, but they couldn't help the buzz around them at the thought.

   He kisses her neck lightly as he grasps himself, tugging a few times to make sure he was nice and hard for her. He knew he was already rock solid, but he wanted to be extra sure. This was important. When he pushes into her, his eyes roll to the back of his head. She grits her teeth at the feeling of being so full of her lover, digging her nails into his side.

  He pushes the rest of the way in, taking a pause there for a moment. He could tell he was pressed against her in a delicious way from the look on her face. His hips started to create a rhythm they could both enjoy; deep and hard, slow and passionate. They were making love, after all.

  "G'na be the best mum, fuck, I know it," he pants into her ear, leaning his body further into hers. She whines into his hair, lifting her hips off the bed to get closer to him, even if it wasn't possible.

  "You're- oh my god, fuck! You're gonna be the best dad, you already take, oh shit, take such good care of me. Such a good lover,” she can tell her voice sounds fucked out, but hell if she gave a fuck. He squeezes her hand in response, kissing her neck again. He felt himself get hotter at her words. The way their bodies collided could be heard in the thick air around them, filling their ears with beautiful music.

She could hear it in the way he moaned in her ear that he was so close. She was, too, just at the thought of him filling her up with possibly more than just nut. They could get a baby out of this. Her eyes roll back as she practically howled in pleasure.

“Please come, please I wanna feel it,” she begged as she lost her mind, repeating her chant.

“Oh my fuck, yeah, baby. Finish for me first, lover. Good fucking girl,” he praises her, kissing along her collarbones as he fucked her through her orgasm. He was so close he could practically taste it, but he had to say something first.

“I love you, angel. I’m gonna love you forever.” His words are broken up between moans in her ear, making her cry out with him. She was so sensitive that when he let go and shot into her, she came again.

  He could barely move once he was spent, dropping his weight to his elbows and laying on top of her chest, which was moving rapidly along with his own.

  He kisses the skin beneath him as she plays with his hair, both too dazed to say anything.

She’s the first to break their silence when she tells him she loves him too.

“‘M bloody glad you love me too, or else it would be pretty awkward for us to have a baby together.” He mutters sarcastically, not even having the energy to lift his head. It was like she sucked out his soul and he needed 2 to 5 business days to get back to being functional. She’d have to call Jeff and let him know the bad news.

“You’re a dork. But, I wouldn’t choose anyone else to do this with. You helped me through the worst days and showed me what I could be. I owe you everything.” She cards her fingers through his hair, speaking softly.

“I resent that, firstly. But I’m proud I get to be this person for you. You’re everything to me, so you don’t owe me a thing. I’m just happy that you’re getting help for yourself. It’s not an easy thing to do, and I’m proud of you. Extremely fucking proud.” He had turned his head to where his chin was poking at her tummy so he could look at her face.

“I’m happy I took your advice. Outsourcing help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong. It shows that you can pull yourself up and realise you have a problem, you know?” She tries to explain it, but he knows. He’d been telling her all along. He even went to therapy.

“Yeah, baby. I’m happy you’re here with me.” He says, and she knows he meant here, alive, not just here with him at that moment. She holds onto him a little bit tighter.

“I’ll always be here. I need you too much to go anywhere”

~

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[simplybakugou]

Nights Like This

↝ After getting sick during a hurricane, you stay by your boyfriend’s side as you attempted to make his bleak day a little brighter.

BINGO SPACE: Cuddling

⋆ PAIRING: prohero!todoroki x fem!reader ⋆ WARNINGS/TAGS: fluff ⋆ WORD COUNT:

A/N: here’s another @bnhabookclub bingo piece! genuinely feel like this is absolute garbage because todoroki is such a difficult character for me to write honestly so i’m really sorry if my character portrayal is bad, i tried my best truly. thank you to @honghearts for requesting todoroki for this prompt! i’m sorry rosie if it’s not good :( the transparent todoroki cap is from the bnhabookclub drive.

FULL BINGO MASTERLIST

✐posted 08.29.2020✐

The cracking of thunder roared through the sky as raindrops pelted the window furiously. Flashes of lightning glowed through the blinds every few minutes and you couldn’t help but sigh as you peered outside through the window. The day was coming to a close and yet it had been pouring in this manner for the past few hours.

From the news you found out that many pro heroes were sent back home from their agencies and from patrol as the storm showed no sign of slowing down anytime soon. The past few days were filled with these harsh conditions as meteorologists labelled it as a hurricane, ordering people to seek shelter indoors for as long as possible until the weather wasn’t as bleak. Fortunately this meant the rate of crime was low as criminals and villains alike would not be able to ensue their chaos during a tropical storm.

You grabbed your phone as you settled back in bed, deciding to call your boyfriend. It took a few rings but he finally picked up. “Hello?” Todoroki’s voice seemed more hoarse and deep than usual, causing you to be taken aback for a second.

“Oh I was just calling ‘cause I wanted to talk to you, but are you alright, Shouto?” You asked.

You could hear Todoroki coughing before he began speaking with the same hoarseness in his voice. “It seems I’ve gotten sick… but I’m alright so don’t worry.”

“You never get sick, Shou,” you chided softly as you felt more and more concerned. “Give me a few minutes, I’ll be there soon.”

“No, wait, Y/N--” You cut the call short, not bothering to hear your boyfriend’s protests as you grabbed a raincoat, shoes, and any other belongings you needed with you. Fortunately Todoroki only lived a few blocks from your apartment so the drive wouldn’t be as trying. 

Although you knew you should probably stay inside during such harsh weather conditions like this, you couldn’t help but be concerned, knowing the countless amount of times Todoroki looked after you while you had fallen ill. It was your turn to take care of him, especially since it was so rare for him to get sick like this when he would use his quirk to regulate his body temperature. 

You parked into his driveway, scurrying inside as fast as you could to seek shelter from the rain. Even with the few seconds you stepped foot outside, you were quickly drenched as you pulled out your key to Todoroki’s home and let yourself in. 

Despite being one of the top pro heroes in the country at the time who made the most money a human could make, Todoroki was a simple person when it came to the extravagance of his home. It was a traditional Japanese style home, modeling his childhood home as it brought him a sort of comfort. Whenever you visited his house, just being inside brought a smile to your face.

You dropped your things off to the side, going towards his room as you slid the door open. He was lying in bed with a blanket covering half his body. “Shouto?”

Todoroki opened his eyes, turning his head to look at you. “Y/N, it’s too dangerous out there for you to be driving. You didn’t have to come, my love.”

You smiled at his cute pet name for you. Even during times like this he was able to verbally address you in the sweetest way possible.

“It’s okay. You live right by my place so it’s not like I’m traveling to the ends of the earth.” You leaned over his bed, placing a hand on his forehead. Your fingers felt his skin burning up and you frowned. “I’ll be right back. Let me make you something to help you feel better.”

Todoroki let out a small sigh. “Y/N…”

You waved him off. “It’s fine, Shou. Let me take care of you, alright?”

You didn’t bother to hear his response as you slipped out the door and made your way to the kitchen. You looked through his cabinets and fridge, taking whatever vegetables and other ingredients he had lying around to come up with something quick yet refreshing to eat. Finally deciding on something to whip up, you quickly went to work, chopping up the vegetables. Recalling all the times you had fallen ill as a child, you remembered your mother making your favorite soup to make you feel even a little bit better. Although you were suffering with the sickness, those moments were special as you could feel the love radiating from your mother’s cooking.

The house quickly filled up with the delicious, mouthwatering aroma of your cooking. Todoroki glanced over as you had left the door open when you left, being able to watch you work in the kitchen from his position in bed. A smile crept up his face as he fondly recalled all the times his mother would cook for him as a child in this same manner. Other than his mother and sister, you were the one woman he loved dearly and being able to have someone love him unconditionally brought joy to him in a way he would never be able to describe into words.

Within ten minutes or so you were able to finish up with your cooking, making sure to clean the space in the process. As you completed washing the dishes, you scooped some of your homemade soup into a bowl, carefully holding it in your hands as you proceeded back to Todoroki’s bedroom.

Todoroki watched as you knelt down beside his bed, smiling sweetly at him. He broke out into a fit of coughs, groaning afterwards. Beads of sweat lined across his forehead and you noticed this, setting the soup on his bedside table as you brushed back the hairs from sticking to his skin. You got up once again, this time grabbing a clean washcloth and a bowl of cold water. It seemed his sickness was affecting the way in which his quirk worked as he wasn’t able to use his ice powers to cool his body down.

You crouched down beside his bed once again, dipping the washcloth in the bowl of water before wringing it out, folding it promptly, and placing it on his forehead. “Let’s just let this sit here for a minute and then you can eat, okay?” You gestured to the washcloth.

Todoroki hummed in response. “Thank you… and I’m sorry for making you do all this.”

You smiled, caressing his cheeks with your fingertips. “You don’t have to thank me for anything, Shouto. You’ve always saved and protected people, taking care of them in the process. Now it’s your turn to be taken care of so there’s no need to apologize.” 

“What’d I do to deserve an angel like you,” Todoroki murmured, instantly making you heat up from his sweet talk. 

“I think the fever’s getting to you,” you teased, removing the washcloth from his forehead. “Can you sit up for me?”

Todoroki obliged to your request as he sat up and you propped his pillow up to support his back. You handed him the bowl as the heat from the dish warmed his hands almost immediately. He took one spoonful into his mouth, the broth from the soup covering his tongue as the flavor was absolutely delectable, just like every other dish you’ve ever made. As per usual, your cooking always made him feel better. “It’s delicious, Y/N.”

“I’m glad. I hope that makes you feel a bit better,” you said, standing up and sitting on the chair by his desk.

“It does. Thank you.” The soup warmed his insides in a way that would’ve been fine if his quirk were working properly at the moment. 

You pushed back the curtains by his window, taking a peek outside as the weather was still relentlessly pouring down rain harder and harder by the minute. The sun had finally set, making it even harder to be driving in such dark and hazardous conditions. At least on the way to Todoroki’s house it was still light outside, letting you see where you were going. “I guess I can’t go back home tonight.”

Todoroki adamantly shook his head, coughing in between his words. “No, it’s too dangerous. I don’t want you to drive right now.”

“You’re right. The last thing I need is to get into a car accident in the middle of the night of a hurricane.” You stood up once more. “You finish that. I’m going to borrow some of your clothes to sleep in.”

Todoroki nodded as you briefly looked through his closet, grabbing one of his t-shirts and a pair of shorts. You swiftly changed into your clothes and neatly folded your own clothes to the side. “Do you want to go to bed now?”

“Yes.” He set his now empty bowl onto his desk as he was about to get out of bed. “I’ll go sleep on the couch.”

“What? Why? It’s not like we’ve never slept in the same bed before,” you asked perplexingly.

“But I don’t want you to get sick because of me,” Todoroki said, coughing and then sneezing right afterwards.

You approached his bedside, pushing him gently back into bed as you crawled right beside him, pulling the covers over your bodies. “I don’t care about getting sick. I just wanna be with you, Shou.”

Todoroki let out a sigh, smiling in the midst of it. “Alright. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll talk about it tomorrow.” You laid back into bed as he began to close his eyes, already feeling groggy from the soup and his fever. “Um, Shouto, is it alright if I put the TV on? I’m not that sleepy right now.”

“Sure, do whatever you want. I don’t mind,” he mumbled.

“Okay, I’ll put the sound down,” you said as you grabbed the TV remote and played your favorite show. 

For the next few moments the room was relatively silent as you turned the sound off the TV, relying on the captions to pay attention to what was going on as well as the roaring rain pouring and slamming against the window. You glanced over to your boyfriend who’s back was facing you as he had turned on his side. You assumed he had fallen asleep and you were relieved that he had gotten the well deserved rest he needed. After about two episodes of your favorite show, you ended up dozing off yourself.

What you hadn’t realized was Todoroki was having a little difficulty falling asleep as his congestion made it hard to breathe peacefully into slumber. Just as he was about to close his eyes again and force himself to fall asleep, he felt your arms wrap around his torso from behind. He glanced over his shoulder and turned around so that he was facing you.

You groaned in your sleep as he moved, immediately latching onto his torso from the front this time as you nuzzled your head against his chest. Your actions brought a small smile to his face as he rested his cheek on your head, wrapping an arm around your body.

The moonlight spilled over through the cracks of the curtains and shined onto your face, lighting your skin up luminously. You were beautiful, absolutely breathtaking even while you were sleeping. 

Todoroki couldn’t thank you enough for all that you did for him, loving him wholeheartedly in a way he never expected. Through nights like this, with you in his arms after a long and dreary day did he feel like he had fallen in love with you all over again.

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[charmspoint]

5, 9, 16, 21!

5) Do you like one shots or multi-chapters?

I heavily prefer multi chapters in both writing and reading. Writing cuz the pacing just suits me better and it feels like it gives me a lot more room to steadily explore what I want too explore. This goes for double cuz i usually tend to deal with psychological themes and it takes good time to properly unravel things like that. I also prefer reading multi chapters because I need that segmentation of story in my head. Like, i've been procrastinating reading some very fandom popular works because they have huge wordcounts all condensed into one chapter and that just looks exhausting to me, I think my upper reading limit is like 10k per chapter n even thats really pushing it. Also I comment on all the stories i read as a rule and that also helps me compartmentalize the information i received by bringing it up in the comment so when i dont get that chance i just end up forgetting like 70% of the fic by the time i get to the comment box. This is why if i'm gonna read a really long one shot i just tend to write comment notes on my phone or in word so i can properly bring up everything i want to mention.

9) Do you visualize scenes in your head before you write them? (Can you picture the setting, character body language etc)

Yeah! I usually do this while walking around and listening to music, I tend to imagine a lot of action scenes and like key emotional moments like this. But also if I'm not listening to music I'm in brain type writer mode and just sorta tell myself the scene as i walk and then takes notes on my phone for things i particularly like. So i imagine them both as actual images and as words.

16) Do you have a method for getting characters to sound/feel in character?

:) I do not and this is one of my biggest worries hgvgh i feel like every character i write just sounds more or less like me jbjh but Ker said I'm fine and here and there people praise my characterization so i figure its probably passable uwu.

21) Writers choice - pick any of these questions that you want to answer.

Lets seeeee I'm gonna pick 7) How do you edit your fics? What do you look for in your edits? cuz ive been doing the gang au prequel edit so its on my mind

So editing for me varies a lot, like some fics ill just do a quick edit and throw them out, some ill go full sicko mode (gang au) but here is the most complex it can get (again, gang au)

So I finish writing

Stage 1. First Lucy edit additional info edition - in this edit i expand scenes i think ended up too rushed and add in new scenes in places where it seems they could be of use, obviously this is optional if i think what i write is fine as it is

Stage 2. First Lucy edit actual editing edition - here I do the actual editing aka i go through the document and correct mistakes or awkward phrasing or what grammar i can pick out (not the best at that part). I pay attention to how things sound and flow and also to common mistakes Ker pointed out i make. One of mine is that i tend to get stuck on one word and repeat it thorough the chapter a lot so i try to pay attention to that (tho in the last thing ker edited they said i didnt repeat a word but i did repeat a structure so....progress?)

Stage 3. Ker edit! - I hand the doc over to Ker. Their job is primarily grammar and wording since those are my weak points but i also usually give them free hands to note on anything that seems off and ask for extra stuff depending on what im doing. Ex. Since Gang au prequel is a one shot that's being split into chapters i asked them to keep an eye on pacing and the way i segmented the fic aka if they think a chapter should end early or go on longer and be connected with another chapter and so on. I will use this opportunity to once again say that Ker is the best beta and i love them so much and they do such amazing work and they honestly helped me improve and learn a whole lot i love you Ker <3<3<3<3

Stage 4. Post Ker edit - Here is where i go through the document and fix up all the stuff Ker marked. I usually do grammar first and then go down the document fixing the 'reword this' or 'expand on this' type corrections

Stage 5. Final reread - this either happens immediately after stage 4 or some time after depending on how i'm posting but basically this is just me reading through the story again with a bit of a fresher perspective, making sure all the edits work well together and catching any overlooked mistakes

Then the story is ready to post!

ask game

[cuntess-carmilla]

Common traits of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome

I’m not a doctor, so there may be some details off here though tbh chronically ill people usually know more than most doctors. I'm making this post because there’s very little awareness about this, and people who fit the diagnosis criteria end up never being diagnosed and suffering in silence, even risking early deaths, as I now suspect happened to my grandma.

Definition:

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) is a group of disorders that affect connective tissue. It’s a genetic disorder that has no cure, but does have palliative treatments depending on the type of EDS.

All types of EDS are characterized by abnormal collagen synthesis. This doesn’t mean that you have too little collagen (necessarily?), but that the collagen your body synthesizes is and will always be altered or of bad quality, regardless of how much of it you synthesize.

EDS is regarded as “rare” by most doctors, but many patients believe it’s more common than they think, only being so “rare” on paper because doctors perceive it as rare, so they don’t diagnose patients despite fitting the criteria (search why EDS communities use the zebra as a symbol). Due to this, EDS communities encourage self-diagnosis, and many times even self-treatment.

Abnormal collagen sounds like it’s “only” one thing, but collagen is a key structural protein ALL over the body, so if your collagen is wrong, a lot of things are wrong or at the very least unusual. As a result, EDS affects the skin, ligaments, joints, blood vessels and other organs (including gastrointestinal organs and the uterus).

Common traits and symptoms:

Please, keep in mind that these symptoms don’t have to be super extreme to count. EDS symptoms range from mild to severe. Most of my symptoms aren’t remarkably visible to the eye, but they’re still bad enough that I suffer tremendously and it affects every single aspect of my life.

Take into account that many of the following traits/symptoms aren’t exclusive to EDS, but if you have more than one or two...

Joint hypermobility: Being "double jointed". The joints are so lax, that they luxate or even dislocate for as much as staying still in the same position too long. It can affect some joints, or all joints, small joints or big joints. It obviously comes associated with joint pain, including chronic joint pain. Can also manifest as scoliosis.

Skin elasticity: You can pull your skin (by pinching it) and it stretches more than the skin of most people. This can, in some cases, make EDS patients prone to skin sagging.

Abnormal scarring: The skin of people with EDS is fragile and elastic, and takes longer to heal. Abnormal scarring includes “cigarette paper” scarring, keloids, slow scarring and healing, higher propensity to stretch marks, post-inflammatory hyper-pigmentation.

Bruising too easily: The blood vessels of people with EDS are fragile to one degree or another. This makes us prone to bruising easily or dramatically, to the point some present spontaneous bruising. Spontaneous bruising might point to vascular EDS, in which case please seek medical help because it’s the most dangerous form of EDS. There’s cases recorded of parents who’ve been falsely accused of beating their children because of the child’s easy or spontaneous bruising.

Digestive and/or nutritional issues: GUESS what intestines and other digestive organs are made of. Yes, collagen. People with EDS are prone to having delicate digestive systems (IBS, nausea, constipation, diarreah and food allergies included), and/or difficulty absorbing the nutrients from our diet. This trait can be bad enough that the patient needs to be fed through a tube or have nutrients injected into their bloodstream, but most of us do fine with regular nutritional supplements (I recommend multivitamins and minerals). Among other things, the nutrient absorption issue makes us prone to excessive hydration due to imbalance of water-salt intake or absorption, and that’s a REALLY bad thing. It made my hair fall off MASSIVELY for years, and intensified my pain, brain fog and fatigue.

Chronic fatigue: Between the physical pain and bad nutrient absorption, most if not all of us experience chronic fatigue (as a symptom, not the disorder). This isn’t just being tired, it’s being exhausted to your bones for no reason all the time, even if you’ve done absolutely nothing in weeks. Might be pervasive, might be recurrent.

Muscle pain: When you have EDS Everything Hurts™. This can be exacerbated in EDS patients by imbalance of water-salt intake (generally leaning towards excessive hydration, but can be dehydration too).

Chronic pain: Everything Hurts™... All the time. It’s a general pain expanded throughout your body that just won’t go the fuck away no matter what you do. Except that this can be exacerbated by imbalance of water-salt intake too! Fixing mine made my chronic and muscle pain so much more bearable to the point that on a good day it’s GONE (just remember, your pee should NEVER be even close to clear, it should just not be solidly opaque, and you could damage your kidneys too by drinking too much water).

Brain fog: Linked to chronic fatigue and pain (ALSO POSSIBLY THE WATER-SALT INTAKE). Like chronic pain and fatigue, it’s not necessarily present every single day, but be recurrent instead. You can’t think. You can’t read or process what you read. You can’t turn thoughts into words. Your grammar goes to shit. You can’t retain or process new information. You can’t remember words that you KNOW you know. You can’t remember things in general. Someone asks you a simple question and it’s like they’re speaking to you in another language. You start to feel increasingly frustrated and desperate because you’re constantly disoriented and your mind is lagging like an old computer running on a 256 MB RAM memory. ERROR 404 BRAIN NOT FOUND TRY AGAIN LATER. Well, turns out you are not dumb, your body is not cooperating with you, and that includes your brain.

Asthma: Highly comorbid. Just... Everything is made of collagen, pal. EVERYTHING.

Autism: Don’t ask me why, but EDS and autism are highly comorbid too, so if you’re in the autism spectrum (same hat) and experience any or many of the other symptoms/traits listed, it’s very likely that you also have EDS.

Depression: It’s really hard to be "positive”, have any motivation or enjoy anything, when NOTHING in your body works right, Everything Hurts™ and you’re so depressingly exhausted that all you CAN do is lay in bed all day. People and doctors telling you you’re “faking it”, people thinking you’re lazy, underestimating how much pain and fatigue you’re going through, having to pull through all of that anyway because you have no other option (ie. your job is your or your family’s only source of income) does not help AT ALL with this.

Tight/narrow “inner plumbing”: In my case, my throat is so narrow, that swallowing one (1) small pill is genuinely difficult, and big pills make me GAG. But its not just your throat, it’s ALL your plumbing being too tight or narrow.

Varicose veins: The whole blood vessels being fragile thing. Most common in vascular EDS, please seek help if you think you may have that specific type.

Thin “transparent” soft skin: Again... FUCKING COLLAGEN. I think it’s obvious what this one means? Except it’s likely that it’s harder to notice the “transparent” part of it on darker skinned patients, but if you’re pale or light skinned, you’d be one of those people whose veins are very easy to see.

“Moldable” nails: Yet again, collagen is everywhere. Some of my nails (index and middle fingers) are slightly deformed because I tend to clench my hands A LOT by instinct and the continued pressure changed their shape.

Aracnodactilia, or “spidery” hands/fingers: The fingers are very skinny and long in proportion to the rest of the hand, can apply to feet too. Having very narrow feet (ie. your shoes are always to wide for you) is part of this.

Gynecological issues or abnormalities: Excessive bleeding during your period, bleeding outside your period, infertility, spontaneous abortions, pre-term labor, high risk pregnancies. Very common with vascular EDS too.

Dry eyes: I didn’t know about this one until like, literally two days ago but apparently it’s a thing, since the test this Chilean EDS specialist we’re hoping to see gives you, includes it as a potential symptom.

“Elongated” body, face (and its features) and/or limbs: Actually the aracnodactilia is often part of this. I also have no idea why but many EDS patients have “elongated”, narrower features, be it subtle or very visible.

Chronic fatigue and brain fog are really hard to describe properly to people who don’t go through them. Hell, even to people who DO go through them. So here’s two videos by Jessica Kellgren-Fozard (just in case, she was misdiagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but discovered recently that she has EDS, besides her neurological condition). All her videos have CC.

[hope-remnant]

The Practice Run Killing Game

Content Warnings: guns, violence, murder, manipulation, ableism, blood, weapons, bullying mention, and Dangan Ronpa, which is probably it’s own warning. This is literally 85% murder. 6.5K words.

My talentswap AU now has its own fanfic! for a full list of my talentswapped characters click [here]

Hifumi never thought school life could be so great. He grinned to himself in his dorm, pushing off the floor with socked feet to spin his desk chair back and forth. The pale blue light of his computer’s screen reflected on his glasses, which he pushed up with one finger and a smirk before typing out a last message to his friend’s stream chat.

JusticeHammer: I’ll be back in a few hours!! Have fun Hina!! <3

In his headphones the stream audio played, ambient underwater sounds from the game itself and the excited voice of his friend, the Ultimate Gamer.

“Bye Justice! You other mods better be on your best behavior now that the boss man is gone, okay?” Hina grinned up at the webcam from her side of the screen, waving with one tanned hand before returning to her game, talking about the strange atmosphere of an alien world. 

The chat scrolled by as well, people from all over the world typing out goodbyes to him. Thousands of strangers, but dozens of friends as well, fellow moderators who helped wrangle the random people into order, who would play video games with Hifumi, who would message him and call him.

It was a far cry from where Hifumi had been in middle school, and he couldn’t help but grin again, shaking out his hands as if to shake out an excitement that clung to his bones, that stayed in his heart when he remembered he had friends. 

His phone dinged with a soft chime, and he couldn’t help the quiet huff of amusement as he flipped open his phone and typed quickly.

Sakura: Where are you going Hifumi? Do you need assistance? 

Hifumi: school council meeting! a weird late night one, no emergencies, dont worry sakura!

Hifumi: see you tomorrow, love you!!!!! :) 

Hifumi stashed the phone in the pocket of his blazer- he was unsure what to wear to this sudden late night meeting, when before they had all been just after classes let out. He decided to play it safe and wear his school uniform.

Standing up from his chair, he made sure to plug in his laptop, the stream still running on it, and turned to leave his room. He had seen the interior of the main course’s dorms, they were triple the size, with their own ensuite and everything. 

His own dorm was small, the wall space barely enough to fit his multitude of posters. There was a complimentary cork board as well, full of fanart people had made of his little sona, a kirby with a hammer and glasses, which he printed out and posted up on his wall as big as he could get them.

He pulled once on the lapels of his blazer, making the fabric settle properly on his shoulders and snatched his binder of notes he used in student council meetings. He made sure to lock his dorm on the way out, still smiling softly to himself. He toyed with the small ring of keys in his hand, dorm room key swinging as well as a number of soft cute keychains that Hina or Sakura sent him in their years as online friends.

He entered the cold night air, pocketing his keys and rubbing his hands together. Winter had clung harder than he had ever seen it, or Spring was simply apathetic even in April, biding its time. In the dusky light he could see the timid, barely blooming sakura trees that dotted the expansive main campus of Hope’s Peak Academy as he approached. There was no security on duty, the gates locked at the late hour.

Headmaster Kirigiri had given him a pass once he sent an anxious email talking about how the head of security, Sakakura, had been harassing him whenever he tried to go on campus. Even though reserve course students were barred from entering the main campus, Hifumi had privileges as the liaison between the reserve and main courses, and as a member of the student council.

Hina and Sakura had theorized it was because Sakakura was the Ex-Ultimate Student Council Leader, and was now one of the club’s supporting staff members, even if he had only worked at the school for a few years. The man was resentful of having a reserve course student on the council, a first in the school’s history, even though the reserve course was a relatively recent development.

Hifumi was used to people disliking him for seemingly no reason, it was only a problem that he took to the headmaster when it made him late to council meetings. 

He glanced at his phone as he passed through the side gate intended for just security. He would likely be a minute or two late, but it wouldn’t make him stand out any more than usual. In his black and white suit he was a dark stain in the middle of any crowd of bright ultimates, who were able to wear anything pertaining to their talent and flaunt the rules.

Sakura wearing scrubs some days, Hina wearing garish merchandise for a game and smirking as the Ultimate Hall Monitor from class 77B could do nothing about it. They had told Hifumi about some of their classmates testing the rules, Enoshima in a sporty tank top, the Ultimate Team Manager getting away with it even in December. Fukawa, who didn’t even notice the rules apparently, and wore oil stained jumpsuits to class, no one able to deter the Ultimate Engineer and Ultimate Mechanic.

Yet here he was, in an ill-tailored suit. When he had been accepted into the reserve program and sent a uniform, his older sister had insisted he try it on, and cooed over him looking all grown up, as if she weren’t just a year older than him. She utilized some of her cosplay skills to try and modify the suit to fit him- they seemed to be made for exclusively skinny kids, then just sized up without concerns for body shape. Unfortunately Fujiko typically worked with skirts and dresses, which were more forgiving of hands more used to drawing and the bad eyesight all Yamadas seemed to have. 

Hifumi had to stop for a moment, the breeze rustling past as he stared up at the few stars that began to twinkle in the night sky, faded and choked by light pollution, blurry even with his glasses. Some were simply blocked by the giant building before him, gleaming glass reflecting the lights of the city’s nightlife, aside from one classroom on the second floor, lit up bright white with silhouettes moving across the room.

He held the binder full of notes to his chest and walked into Hope’s Peak Academy, unaware that someone in the school’s entrance hall was hiding in the shadows, watching with eyes of deep scarlet that reflected light like a cat’s would in the low light. 

Hifumi hurried up the stairs and down the hallway to the classroom they held meetings in. He saw Kamii and Kurosaki, two ultimates on the council who were dating, walk into the meeting room, Kamii practically clinging to her boyfriend. It was unsettling to see as he approached, considering Kamii thought PDA was impolite during meetings, and usually sat with someone between her and Kurosaki to avoid it. Maybe she was upset by something, but Hifumi wasn’t about to ask her, considering he was acquaintances at best with the council.

He followed them into the room, the last to arrive. The fluorescent lights were glaring and bright as night settled fully outside of their meeting. Everyone was seated aside from their Ultimate Student Council President, Umesawa, who stood at the podium in front of the blackboard, knuckles white as her blunt nails dug into the wood, her white armband standing out against the bright yellow of her hoodie.

After Hifumi sat down, leaving his notes on the desk, he noticed just how unhappy everyone seemed. Some were fidgeting, others talking but not saying much at all, their tone hurried and frightened, and others sat there and stared at the polished wood of their desk as if the world was ending around them.

“Now that we’re all here- you have some explaining to do Umesawa.” Ikuta, a girl with a famously short temper among the upperclassmen ultimates, had her hands on her desk as she stood slightly, her red hair swaying and catching the eyes of anyone who hadn’t been startled by her shout. 

“Yeah, Aiko, your emails were really panicked.” Kashiki smiled softly at her friend, but she seemed to be trembling.

Umesawa tugged on one of the bright yellow ears sitting atop the hood of her sweatshirt, pulling down the hood and raising her head to look up at the council. Her eyes seemed to draw people in, one blue and one green, both full of an earnestness that made her a good Ultimate School Council President. Now, though, they were rimmed with red, and usually perfect wavy bob was a bird’s nest, brown strands out of place in any way they could be. 

“I called you all here because it was best to be as discreet as possible.” Umesawa said.

Ichino snorted, not even bothering to hide his disrespect, too busy carding his hand through his already messy red hair. “Discreet. Yeah.” 

Just when Hifumi was going to ask them all to explain, because these ultimates always acted as if everyone just knows what’s going on instead of learning things like normal people- the door creaked open and someone Hifumi had never seen before stepped inside. 

The first thing Hifumi noticed were the gloves. One a perfect, unstained white, carrying a large duffle bag. The other a black that blended into her sleeve. The rest of her outfit was just as puzzling, a bright red tie and a white button up, but with a black cropped leather jacket over it. A black miniskirt and red knee high boots as well completed the outfit. But even then, it was almost at odds with pale violet eyes and long lavender hair, only a small portion of that hair in a braid that she toyed with in her black gloved hand.

“Good evening class.” She said, her voice even and her eyes narrowed. 

Umesawa backed away from the podium, staring at the girl. “Who are y-?”

The girl waved off the question, her black gloved hand slashing through the air, making the council president back away further. “Goodness, and they say you’re one of the brightest in the school?” She takes a step closer, heeled boots heavy on the floor. “Pathetic.” She says, a light scolding, a chiming thing that seemed more like a schoolyard taunt than a threat.

But Hifumi could tell this girl was a threat. Maybe she had a dangerous ultimate talent- he knew for a fact that even if an ultimate skill was illegal they could be admitted and given essentially some form of diplomatic immunity while they attended the school. 

“Why the hell are you here lady?!” Ikuta snapped, standing fully with her hands on her hips. 

The girl put both her hands in the air, as if surrendering, but she was smiling, amusement sparkling in those eyes that seemed to dig into anything she laid them on, ferreting out as much information as she could. “I just want to play a game with my fellow ultimates.” She said, placating and condescending. 

Hifumi, who was tired, confused, and could be watching his friend play video games right now, finally spoke up. “Can any of you ultimates ever explain anything, or is being cryptic part of the main course syllabus?” 

The girl turned to him and glared, and Hifumi couldn’t help the small squeak of fear that slipped from his mouth when her face twisted into a sneer. It was a dramatic expression, he had seen it in games and shows, but no one had ever looked at him like that, no matter how many bullies he had faced. Like he was less than nothing, his very existence something to be loathed.

“A. Game. That shouldn’t be so hard for a simple reserve course student to understand, right? After all, you don’t spend your time doing anything worthwhile, if you can’t even manage to get into the main course.” The girl’s voice dripped with malice, and she quickly took over at the podium.

Umesawa backed up even more, now close to the window opposite of the door to the classroom, hands tugging her hood back up so she could pull at the fake rabbit ears in nervousness.

“I will keep it simple.” The girl shot Hifumi another look. “Last man standing wins. Go.”

“That doesn’t make any fucking sense.” Ikuta stepped out into the aisle between desks, pointing a finger at the girl as she demanded answers. “Just who the fuck do you think you are, demanding shit from us? Are you some reserve course kid? We’ve had enough from Yamada-”

Everyone’s eyes had been on Kotomi Ikuta, they hadn’t noticed the threatening girl at the front moving at all, assuming she had been just as stunned by the rant, until Ikuta was cut off by a gunshot.

Hifumi had heard guns before, in games, in animes, in movies. There were different patterns to them depending on the type, and when he and Hina became really invested in a game he would bother to tell them apart, the distinct rapid pulses, the blasts and thunderous booms from all different kinds of weaponry. He had never heard one in real life, had never been in the same room as a real gun, even though he knew there was a shooting range up on the fifth floor for those whose talents needed such things.

It was louder than he expected, and the noise was what made him freeze. In the middle of the classroom, Ikuta fell to her knees, then slumped forward. Shrill screams and rumbling expletives filled the room.

It took a moment, to properly process all of the information and connect the dots. When he did Hifumi couldn’t stop the sharp gasp, even though all it did was make him notice the sharp sulfuric stench of gunpowder, as well as the metallic tang of fresh blood. Things he had never experienced before.

An ultimate had died right before his eyes, by something as simple as the handgun that rested like it was molded to be in the strange threatening girl’s black gloved hand. The girl’s eyes were alight with something Hifumi couldn’t understand as she huffed through her nose in what might have been amusement.

She dropped the duffle bag in her other hand, the thing spilling open to reveal an assortment of weapons from knives to swords, hammers and screwdrivers, guns of all shapes and sizes. They were real, the flash of silvery metal, the dull gleam of tools with a new use branded onto them right before their eyes. 

“If that’s not enough for you, I’ve got more.” The girl smirked, and waved to the still open door. A cart came rolling in, it’s top shelf littered with larger weapons. A chainsaw, a mace, a sledgehammer, all on top of it, all perfectly clean as if even they didn’t know what a dark omen they were, as if they didn’t know their capacity to do harm in the right hands. 

At the bottom of the cart there was a large case which the girl pulled onto the floor with ease after sliding her handgun into a previously unseen holster high up on her thigh. She kicked the case with her boot, walking around it and towards the door. “That holds all the motivation you’ll need.” 

“Everyone stay calm!” Umesawa ordered, straightening up from where she had been cowering. “No one touch those weapons- someone could get hurt!” Her voice was as sweet as ever, even with the urgency, she took out her phone and flipped it open, only for her face to fall. 

Yokō stood up from his place at the back of the room, turning his flip phone around as if to show it off. “No connection.”

Kubo stood up, gesturing broadly to the class. “She can’t stop all of us, just listen to Umesawa!” 

But everyone seemed to be getting up, fourteen students all in one room, some paralyzed by fear, others covering their fear with anger. Hifumi stayed seated, staring, unable to process it all at once, afraid. 

A student who had been at Ikuta’s side the instant she fell, trying to help her even after a gunshot wound to the forehead, lunged forward and grabbed one of the spilled weapons at random. He ran towards the terrifying girl who had orchestrated Ikuta’s death. The boy, Someya, was holding a shotgun that was almost too big for him to handle. The little plushies on keychains at his belt jingled slightly, at odds with the cold metal in his hands. Before he could aim, someone grabbed at him. 

Ichino tried to grapple the weapon away from Someya, but the small boy clung to the instrument of death with a desperation no one in the room had seen before now in a human being. Someya was frantic, eyes glassy with tears, his distinctive blue bowlcut in disarray as he shook his head, saying how she needed to pay for killing Ikuta. 

In the chaos Hifumi finally stood, moving to the wall the door was on, his back hitting the wall quickly as he tried to look around. Umesawa still was at the podium, pleading for order. Gōryoku was shielding some of the others who had broken down into tears with his large muscular body, and some other students had approached the front of the classroom.

Someya was facing the door, facing the girl who had her gun in one hand but was toying with her braid as well, as if bored. She hummed an uneven tune, as if bored, as if waiting for a show to start. 

“Please!” Someya cried, tears falling as the shotgun was wrenched out of his hands, the gun making a sharp cracking sound as it hit the floor.

Then the katana entered his chest from behind, skewering him. As the weapon was pulled out with a wet sucking sound Hifumi wished he could never have heard, the girl holding the weapon sobbed. “My mother- they have my mother- I’m so s-sorry, I can’t-!”

With a sob that devolved into a scream, Kisaragi kicked away the file of photographs she had taken from the case, the motive set out for them. It showed a middle aged woman bound to a chair, screaming into a gag. 

“Karen! Please, listen-!” Umesawa implored, a hand outstretched. “Put down the-!” She let out a small scream when Kirasagi lurched forward, slashing the katana.

The sword embedded itself into the podium. Most of the class either hung back or scattered to grab the motives, and then the weapons. 

Hifumi could only focus on one thing at a time, the sounds. The wet thunk of metal sinking into flesh, into the soft organs of the human body, so fragile even if the person had been deemed ultimate. Gunshots, sobbing, deranged laughter, screams and death rattles.

Hifumi staggered under the onslaught of sensory information overloading his mind with no way to filter it, no way to stop it. All he could do was try to get away.

Blood splattered onto his blazer, up his neck and onto his face as another student died. With a short, faltering yell, he pushed someone out of the way of the door and began to run. 

The moonlight streaming into the hallways washed them in a pale ghostly glow, as if illuminating perfection, as if a spotlight was needed. Hifumi didn’t know it, but he looked similar to when he spoke to his friends in late night chats, his lights off in his room and illuminated only by the pale glow of a computer screen, tired and giggling. 

Pink marred the walls and floors. In the classroom Hifumi abandoned, a boy he had spoken to, someone in a committee with him, was brutally beaten to death with a chair. A girl he knew was stabbed. Another was strangled. The events tumbled together into one big massacre, one big game, one big show, and the girl who pulled the strings to watch this all happen couldn’t help the grin on her usually passive face as she left the scene into her own lair.

Someone stood at her side now, shorter than her, but even more intimidating. A person in a pristine suit and long black hair, almost ridiculous in its length. Their red eyes seemed to gleam as they watched, but their pointed features never twitched from an expressionless mask of disinterest.

“Satisfied, Izuru?” Kirigiri asked once she reached her control room, one of her lackeys nodding to her reverentially and giving her the seat. Another approached her other side, giggling.

“...” Izuru’s eyes slid to the side, towards where the lackey who had been in the chair now cowered, too horrified to watch what he assisted in causing, pathetic. The girl laughing into her hand was small, and with Izuru’s keen sight and ultimate knowledge, Izuru knew that the girl was thirteen at best, too young, yet still an ultimate. She was enthralled by the gore on screen, delighted by it, just as much as she was enthralled by Kirigiri, who put a hand on the young girl’s shoulder, speaking words but never telling her anything.

With a small huff through their nose, Izuru turned and left to see the scene for himself. 

Hifumi didn’t know when someone had got him with a blade. They evidently had, from the wound on his arm pouring blood, pink staining his nice uniform, running through his fingers even when he tried his best to stop the bleeding.

He continued to stumble on, mind overloaded with information, with fear, and he couldn’t help but just blank out on all of it. There was too much to process, too much to bear acknowledging. With a ragged huff, he leaned against a wall of lockers, the cool metal a relief from everything, another nothingness to sink into. 

The wall of windows allowed in so much moonlight, for a moment Hifumi thought it was day, that any moment so many of the best students in the country would come pouring out of their classrooms. Maybe his friends would be among them, Hina tapping on her phone or the newest handheld console, Sakura making sure they didn’t bump into anyone. 

They would see him, and Sakura would hold him. She was so strong, so steady. She could carry Hifumi to the infirmary, could bandage him up and offer him a lollipop with that slight smile she got when she talked to him or Hina. She would fret over him any time she saw him until the bandage was finally gone, she would insist on carrying his bag or his notes for student council-

Hifumi swallowed down a sob, pushing himself onward. Screams echoed down hallways made to carry the voices of the best, the last cries of those who were dead the moment that girl walked into their meeting. It hurt, to keep moving, to keep acting as if just running away would save him, but everything would hurt no matter what choice he made. 

All he wanted was to hang out in Hina’s dorm, his best friends at his side as they all rested on Hina’s bright pink bed, Sakura studying late into the night as he and Hina fell asleep against her.

He wanted so much, and he was never going to get it, not now. Hifumi knew he was going to die here, he just knew it. Was this something other people felt, like a blanket of fresh snow, cold and melting deep into his bones as he realized death was coming for him, an unstoppable force? Was this something that had always been there waiting for him, and he only noticed it now when his head swam and pink dripped from his fingers?

In every game, every anime, every manga, the hero managed to get up and keep going. Whether to escape only to save the day later, or to defeat whatever stood in their way. No one expected that of Hifumi. Maybe they would think an ultimate was capable of it, and there were thirteen ultimates he had left behind to tear each other apart. 

He heard a high pitched, screaming cackle and the revving of a chainsaw, the cut off screams of a victim, far enough away that he wasn’t in danger. 

Hifumi wouldn’t find any heroes here. All he could do was try his best.

The ones who cared for him, his friends, that’s all they had ever asked of him. To try his best, to keep going, to rely on them if he needed to. Hifumi needed them more than ever, Hina’s endless energy and excitement, Sakura’s quiet strength and support. Hina would be in her dorm, headphones on as she kept talking and talking, playing video games for thousands to see. Sakura was studying a new medical journal, sitting on Hina’s bed, out of view of the webcam. 

They were so close but so far, and they were all he could think of. Would they send worried texts when he never messaged them goodnight? Would they wait until tomorrow morning, thinking he had been tired from the meeting? Would they use the extra key to his dorm he gave them, and find his room as he left it, as if nothing was amiss? Would he become another muttered rumor, like the supposed death of a girl in the computer lab of the reserve course?

Would anyone aside from Hina and Sakura notice him gone from campus? He was invisible to the other reserve course students. Maybe they would wonder why there was an extra desk in their classroom, and dismiss it just as quickly as a mistake, never remembering him. 

Tears welled up in his eyes. It was all too much, the noises, the things he had seen. Hifumi had never seen someone die before. He had never seen someone kill before. He had never seen carnage, or gore, or death. He wanted nothing more than to calm his racing thoughts, but they all piled up and screamed until he reached nothing, slumped against some lockers. His left hand was in his mouth, and he bit down harshly on the joint of his thumb, his right hand clutching where he had been injured. 

He screamed silently, throat hurting, tears finally spilling. He was so tired and scared and lost and he just wanted- he didn’t know what he wanted, he didn’t know what to do, it all was piling up, it was washing over him, a tsunami of panic and blood, bright pink and towering over him, until it finally fell and consumed him without even noticing. 

Hifumi continued to dig his teeth into his hand, it was something solid, letting him know that he was here. He brought his knees up to his chest, his legs squishing into his stomach. He let go of his wound, his right hand coming up to pull at his short curly hair as he keened. The wet sticky feeling of blood on his hand, in his hair, was so bad but the grounding pull of pain in his scalp was something that kept him from trying to slam his head into the wall or something equally damaging, because he needed anything to stop his mind from screaming, to stop himself from screaming. He began to rock back and forth, crying. 

He didn’t know how much time had passed. The moon watched on, impassive in its pale glow. Was time really passing, or had the world ended the moment that girl shot Ikuta? Was the planet still spinning? Would the moon ever set?

“Get up Yamada.” 

Chills swept down Hifumi’s spine, he swore someone was talking, but all he could hear were distant gunshots and screams.

“Yamada! Get up!” A polished shoe kicked him in the shin, and Hifumi finally looked up.

Murasame stood before him, leaning on a pitchfork. The dark grey tines were splattered with blood already, dripping down onto the floor. Hifumi stared at the blood, mind numb, lungs and throat pained by the sobs that had wracked his body. 

“I can’t kill a guy who’s crying like a baby. Are you a man or not, Yamada? I know you’re just a stupid reserve course, but c’mon. Get up, die with a little bit of dignity.” Murasame rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. He bent down to look at Hifumi like he was nothing more than a bug on the ground, disgusting. His brown hair shifted to cover his face as he leaned, before snorting wryly and standing up straight again, rolling his eyes.

Hifumi choked on another sob, trying to just breathe. He used both of his hands to brace against the lockers behind him, trying to stand. He didn’t know why he bothered, but it was something to do. Maybe Murasame was joking? Maybe he would help Hifumi?

The moment Hifumi was steady on his feet Murasame backed up, swinging his pitchfork up, an arc of pink that glowed in the moonlight following it.

Hifumi ran again. He turned a corner down the hall, still between a wall of lockers and windows, still in a cold empty husk of a school, and he didn’t stop. 

He bumped into something- someone, and stumbled back, looking at them. A short person with long black hair and pointed features, deep red eyes that stared at him with nothing behind them. “Sorry!” He shrieked, the habit converging against his fear as he quickly stepped around the person and kept running. 

Izuru raised an eyebrow and deftly hid between the lockers as another ultimate passed, this one full of bloodlust, hunting the boy who ran into them. It was different, interesting, but Izuru kept moving. They had more to see than this.

Every breath seared from Hifumi’s lungs, his body ached as he did his best to keep moving. But he didn’t even make it all the way down the hallway. Hacking into his bloodied hands, he ended up falling against one of the massive windows that made up the outside wall of the school. His injured arm burned with pain against the cold glass.

Hifumi whimpered, turning to keep his back to the glass as he heard sprinting footsteps slow and reach him.

“Everyone hated you, Yamada.” Murasame huffed, both hands holding the pitchfork as if it was a staff.

“What?” Hifumi wheezed out, more confused than frightened.

“You waltz in, a useless reserve course, and start telling us what to do. We had a betting pool going on whether you were just that oblivious that you didn’t notice how annoying you were, or if you really were just that annoying.” Murasame sneered.

“Wh-What?!” 

Murasame let go of his pitchfork with one of his hands to point at Hifumi accusingly, the tines of the weapon scraping against the floor loudly, making Hifumi flinch away. 

“That. Is exactly what I’m talking about. You’re so annoying and don’t even fucking know, do you? Handing out orders, trying to get us to help a bunch of teenagers who convinced their parents to blow their money just to attend Hope’s Peak- it’s a wonder no one offed you before now.” Murasame swung the pitchfork back up, both hands on the weapon as he pointed it at Hifumi.

“No- please-!” Hifumi begged, trying to dive out of the way. 

The sound of cracking glass echoed around the hall as Murasame chuckled. “Really?” 

Hifumi wanted to back away, wanted to run again, but fear paralyzed him.

Murasame just shook his head, pulling back his pitchfork and causing the window to fully shatter. “Get up Yamada. I’m not killing you while you cower. Unlike you, I’m better than that.” 

Hifumi made another noise, a whimpered plea even he couldn’t understand, and stood up. He trembled and breathed in the cold night air that rushed through the broken window. 

Murasame wacked Hifumi in the head with the side of the pitchfork, toying with him.

Hifumi stumbled to the side, now fully in front of the empty window frame, shards of glass still clinging to the sides. Part of him wondered if he should say something cool. Last words were supposed to be cool, right? That was for heroes, and he had always wanted to be one. He had always wanted too much.

Murasame bared his teeth and stabbed forward, the tines of his pitchfork sinking into Hifumi’s abdomen. For a moment all Hifumi could feel was the force of it, like a gut punch, something he hadn’t been a stranger to back in his middle school days. But sharp pain quickly followed, spreading, and he staggered back, the heel of his shoe hitting open air. He grabbed at the long handle of the pitchfork reflexively, unable to do anything about it.

Murasame lunged forward, trying to grab the handle of his weapon, but he missed. The revving of a chainsaw grew steadily closer, as well the unhinged laughter of an ultimate pushed to the edge. Hifumi’s killer didn’t bother watching him fall, instead running in search of a new weapon.

Hifumi gasped raggedly as he tipped out of the window, the world swinging away until all he saw was the sky. The black of night was endless, the faded stars twinkled, the moon still shined. They wouldn’t change with one boy’s death. They wouldn’t care.

As he fell, all he regretted was not giving Hina and Sakura a better goodbye. He felt the slight scrape of leaves and then his body slammed into the ground, rendering him unconscious. 

He wouldn’t wake for days. When the school’s security would find him during their sweep of the grounds, it would be an hour after they already found the unresponsive, unconscious body of Aiko Umesawa, her yellow rabbit hoodie stained pink. She would be taken to a nearby hospital, and she would be silenced before she had a chance to wake.

Hifumi was found later, a pitchfork still stuck in his stomach, and that was for the best, as it staved off the worst of the bleeding as it stayed in the wound. He had sustained a head injury and a cut to his arm, but it was better than the twelve dead students littering the second floor of Hope’s Peak Academy. A dozen bright, beautiful students all dead, their lives destroyed before they could truly live.

The school board of Hope’s Peak knew another factor to the puzzling killing game. Their pet project, Izuru Kamakura, was missing. The Ultimate Hope, the Ultimate Ultimate, was gone and most of the staff who attended to the project were dead or had been enjoying a day off in the peace of their own home, unknowing that their colleagues were being slaughtered like animals. 

It had to have been Izuru Kamakura that unleashed this bloodshed. The project ensured that the Ultimate Hope had every talent and skill ever recorded, the school board knew how easily their little project could kill, could hide bodies. They assumed it was a vengeful sign to the board, thinking themselves worth the carnage. The school board thought too highly of themselves. They underestimated just how easy it was to bring an ultimate to  a breaking point.

An entire life that culminated in a title, and ultimate, until that was all they were known for. They had to constantly one-up themselves, to constantly prove to others, and to themself, that they were the best. Years of effort, years of blood, sweat, and tears. Everything relied on their ultimate. Their world revolved around it, until they became the embodiment of their ultimate, until their ultimate became them. 

When tasked with murder, with letting go of any inhibition and just committing violence, just causing harm, something any human being was capable of, they took to the task with an almost inhuman speed. Some would need a push, but even then, their calculating mind would whir and they would frame everything to their advantage. They would come out on top, they had to. They were an ultimate after all.

But the school board only saw the brightest of their students, children. The blame was placed on Izuru Kamakura, and they quickly moved to cover up any signs of the incident. 

Hifumi Yamada would have been placed in the same hospital as his student council president, and would have been silenced just the same, two birds with one stone, but that didn’t happen. The Ultimate Nurse Sakura Oogami demanded the school fly her best friend to her clan’s clinic. She would take care of any medical need, or else she and her girlfriend, the Ultimate Gamer, would drop out of Hope’s Peak permanently, and Asahina would use her global fame to ensure that the reputation of their former school was dragged through the mud.

The school board didn’t care much if the reserve course student died, but it was best if the kid died out of their responsibility, so they used the school’s helicopter to fly Hifumi, Sakura, and Hina all to the Oogami clan’s isolated compound. 

Days passed where Sakura tended to her best friend’s wounds, and he awoke. His shifting had roused Hina, who had been sleeping at his bedside, and she ran to get Sakura.

Hifumi couldn’t help but cry in Sakura’s arms, crying himself to sleep within minutes of waking, but this sleep was far more restful. He knew he was safe. He knew he would be cared for. He knew he’d never have to go through something so bad like that ever again.

Two weeks would pass from this incident, and Hifumi would find himself locked in Hope’s Peak Academy, working with the 78th class to bolt over any window and make sure they could never, ever escape. He would agree to lock himself into the building where the worst thing to ever happen to him occurred. He agreed because Hina and Sakura would be at his side. He agreed because he knew they would be safe, together. 

Hifumi’s memories of the School Council Killing Game were unclear. He would wake from nightmares gasping for air, never fully remembering the faces of his fellow students who died, only remembering the indifferent moonlight and the gleam of deranged eyes. 

When Hifumi would ask Kyoko Kirigiri if they had ever met before, the Ultimate Lucky Student would smile awkwardly, shrugging her shoulders and saying that he must be thinking of someone else, and he would believe her, unknowing of the deep, undying loathing she carried in her heart towards him. Unknowing that she had sworn to kill him with her own hands one day. 

[phoenix-downer]

The Princess of Light Chapter 3: Falling In

1800 words. Angst, Romance, Fluff, Fairy Tales. For SoKai Week 2021, Day 3.

Summary: Princess Kairi is cursed to be without love when she is a baby. She grows up cold and without a heart to help her understand other people’s feelings, no matter how hard her parents try to help her. One day, however, she meets a mysterious prince from a faraway world, and he just might hold the key to breaking her curse.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

Now at last we come to the prince. He was from another world, one that was as hot as Princess Kairi was cold, with warm beaches and yellow sands and salty seas. Naturally he’d heard of Kairi’s condition, as that sort of thing is not something people can keep quiet about, but he had no plans to actually meet her. 

He was on his way to another world, in fact, when his Gummi Ship ran into an asteroid and he had to make an emergency landing on Radiant Garden. As fate would have it, his ship crashed on land the royal family owned, though of course he didn’t know this at the time.

“Ouch,” he muttered, rubbing his head as the engine sputtered and moaned and various things that shouldn’t be creaking creaked. “That could’ve gone better.”

But at least he was alive and in one piece. He’d need help to repair his ship though. Stumbling out of the beaten-down vessel, he paused to take in his surroundings. The most delicious scent hit his nose, fragrant flowers and pines, and water bubbled in the distance. A full moon shone overhead, and scattered moonlight danced through the trees.

“This must be Radiant Garden,” he said as he trudged through the knee-high grass. “If I say I’m a lost traveler, someone around here oughta be able to help me.”

The prince followed the sound of the water till he reached a small stream, then took a drink to refresh himself. 

“The water of this world really does seem magical,” he said as he scooped up another mouthful. It tasted delicious and soothed his parched throat. Cold and clean and refreshing. Just as he was about to scoop up some more to pour over his head, a noise in the distance stopped him. It sounded like a young lady crying out, and he ran towards her at once, as princes are wont to do.

When he made it out of the thicket, he spotted a pool of something shimmering and shining in the clearing. And in that pool was a young lady, and that young lady was Princess Kairi. She was laughing and giggling as she frolicked in the light, but of course the prince had no idea of this. Her laughter had no warmth to it, so he thought it sounded like cries for help instead.

“Oh my gosh, she must be burning up!” was the only thought in his mind, and he shouted, “Hang on, I’ll save you!” 

He dove in and scooped her into his arms, and this time she really did shriek, though not for the reasons he thought. He staggered out of the light pool as she kicked and struggled, yelling, “Put me down, put me down!” 

This he did, and she let out a loud “Hmph!” and smoothed her skirts. The grass beneath her feet was already turning icy away from the light, and she knew her skin would soon be “cold.” Of course it never felt cold to her, just normal, but this strange young man would no doubt have complained about its “coldness” if he’d touched her bare arms much longer. Especially if his hand turned to ice.

Now that she’d recovered from her surprise a little, she gave him a closer look. He was about her age, if she had to guess, and wearing clothes from some far-off world. They certainly weren’t the types of clothes people wore here on Radiant Garden. Too light and breezy for that. His spiky brown hair looked like he’d never taken a comb to it in his life, and his eyes were as blue as the sky. 

“What on earth came over you, yanking me out of the light like that?” Princess Kairi scolded. “Don’t you know it’s the only place where I don’t turn everything my skin touches freezing cold?”

His eyes widened as he put two and two together. “So you’re the cursed princess.” 

“Yes, yes,” she said, rather irritably. “I’m guessing you’ve heard of me wherever you’re from.” He wasn’t the first person she’d met who’d gawked at her, and he certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“I have,” he said, “I just… had no idea you’d be this beautiful.”

The prince was already quite taken with the young lady before him. Her red hair reached her shoulders, and her violet eyes were lovely despite their iciness. Without the curse, the princess was naturally spirited and fiery, and perhaps the prince sensed that and saw what she could be if she still had her heart.  

The princess hesitated despite herself. The prince did not seem put off by her manner; if anything, he seemed intrigued. 

“My name’s Sora,” he said, then bowed politely. There was something about the warmth of his manner that intrigued her as well. 

“Well, Prince Sora,” she replied, for she could tell by the way he carried himself he was a prince, “would you mind putting me back where I came from?”

“Oh, back in the light pool?” 

She nodded. “Yes. I’m afraid that I turn anything that I touch cold, and there are some very nice flowers and grass around us that I don’t want to kill by stepping back in myself.” 

Sora glanced at the ground, and the grass Princess Kairi was standing on had already withered and turned icy. Her feet were bare, and as such there was no clothing guarding her surroundings. 

“Oh, sure,” he said. “I’d be happy to.” 

“Just make sure you don’t touch my bare skin, or you’ll feel cold and get frostbite.” 

Sora held up his hand. “No worries, I have gloves.” 

He scooped her into his arms and noted that she was very cold indeed. But it didn’t matter all that much, for he climbed the little hill over the light pool and jumped in, plunging himself into its warmth along with Kairi. She was intrigued by this, for no one had ever jumped into the pool with her before. Sora had a big, caring heart, especially for someone his age. It provided the weight that she lacked in her heartless state, and that weight made for a much more exhilarating plunge than what she could ever achieve on her own. Soon they were swimming and laughing in the light pool together like old friends.

“Woah, this feels incredible,” Sora said, and he could see why the princess enjoyed it so much. He felt like he was bathing in liquid warmth, and that liquid warmth made him feel like he was floating. He’d heard about this pool before, but the stories didn’t do the reality justice. 

“It does feel nice, doesn’t it?” Kairi agreed as she paddled around.

“Wanna fall in with me again?” he asked, a twinkle in his eye. For the moment they’d fallen in together, he’d experience another kind of falling as well, and pairing the two sensations, the adrenaline rush from jumping off the hill combined with the rush from holding this lovely young lady in his arms, was the most enticing prospect he could imagine. 

“Sure,” Kairi agreed, and he grinned and scooped her up into his arms, carried her out of the pool, strolled back up the hill like she weighed nothing (for indeed without her heart she weighed less than most people her age), and jumped in the pool again as she shrieked with delight. This they repeated over and over again till Prince Sora was quite worn out. Then they just floated in the light pool, enjoying its restorative effects and how it was replenishing their energy bit by bit. They talked, too, about all sorts of things; their favorite books and stories, their favorite foods and the ones they couldn’t stand, how it felt to grow up as royalty. 

Sora was much loved by the people of Destiny Islands, but the people of Radiant Garden rarely got to see or interact with Kairi because of her curse. He felt sorry for her, because how was she supposed to learn how to rule properly without getting to know her people? And setting aside all the ruling stuff, did she really have any friends her age? Or even a sweetheart? She hadn’t mentioned anyone, and Sora was quite eager to know if she’d be open to his advances.

“Well, it’s getting late,” she said, before he could ask. “I should be going home before my nurse or my parents start searching for me.” 

“Please, may I escort you to the castle?” Sora asked. 

“You’d better not. My father is very strict with me. I don’t care two cents about what other people say, but I’ve been scolded for not ‘acting like a princess’ before, and coming home with a strange young man at night isn’t very princess-like.” 

She waded out of the light pool, leaving Sora feeling slightly deflated. He understood why her parents would balk at the thought of her coming home with a young man they’d never met, but he meant no ill. 

“Can I see you tomorrow then?” he pleaded. He didn’t want to leave without the promise he’d get to see her again. Any chance to spend more time with her, to get to know her better, was one he wanted to take. 

She paused, the light gently lapping at her bare feet. “If you’d like to come here again, sure. Falling in was fun. I’d like to do it again.”

He smiled. “Anytime.”

The princess felt a strange fluttering in her stomach that she chalked up to being hungry. That was her only frame of reference for such a feeling. None of her former suitors had lasted long enough to make it past her many barriers, and Sora had a smile that lit up his whole face and made his eyes look even more beautiful than they already were. 

He reminded her of the special pool in a way. Yes, that must be it. He was sunny and warm and cheerful like the pool, so of course her stomach fluttered the way it did.

“Oh, Princess?” he asked as she put her shoes and socks on. Not the proper use of her title, but somehow, she didn’t mind. 

“Yes?” she replied. 

“Where’s a good place to stay for the night?”

Kairi gave her recommendation based on what her parents had told her before, and Sora thanked her politely. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” he said as he waded out of the pool. With that they bid each other goodnight, and Sora felt that he was very lucky indeed to have crashed on Radiant Garden this evening. He watched to make sure she made it back to the castle okay, then returned to his Gummi Ship for a few more supplies before heading into the castle town.

Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough. 

[kozutenshi]

"Hand me the coconut pieces love." His hand reached out in front of you as you followed Osamu. You watched him learn the Filipino delicacy carefully, the recipe flashed on his phone screen.

He felt your arms circle around him and he laughed, turning around to look at you. "I can't cook if you're latched on me like this bub." Your reply was muffled as you buried yourself in him. "Why not?" His scent filled your nose, his heartbeat pacing rapidly in his chest.

"The cook needs a helper too, you know? You also have to prepare the ingredients."

"You can do it though."

"It's different when you're the one doing it."

"It makes me happy seeing you with me here in my happy place." His cheeky smile warmed you up as he let you go. He taps your cheek with his finger, muttering an almost inaudible "cute" before turning back to his work to hide his red face. You smiled, pleased with what he said, and resumed your own task.

"I'll stay here as long as you want me to, then."

He froze at your statement, growing even more flustered.

"As long as i want to?"

"Yep! as long as you want me here with you, i'll be here!"

He was probably overreacting but his heart seized, the tears welling up in his eyes as he smiles and continues his work.

TUPIG

— A delicacy commonly cooked in banana leaves though it differs per town.

— A treat served to friends, relatives and Christmas carolers to wish them well in the coming New Year and give their thanks.

— Traditionally popular around Christmas but can be served as snacks in a normal day. It can even be bought on food stalls at the side of the road.

— A pastry from diket(a soft & oily variety of rice used for native sweets) cooked in coconut milk, molasses and sesame seeds. They also sometimes put in actual pieces of coconut.

He reeked badly of alcohol.

Atsumu scrunched his nose on the smell, supporting his twin as he stumbled into their shared apartment. Osamu had never been this wasted, at least as of he knew. He considered calling for Kita or Suna, but they might as well be sleeping.

He was sloppy in cleaning up Osamu's mess, but at least his twin was better. He groaned in his sleep before softly snoring, making Atsumu regret that he placed his twin in his bed. His eyes stung from being woken up early, 5:34 am to be exact, with a phone call.

Not really knowing what to do now, he thought of you and what happened the past month.

It started with a simple "misunderstanding" that had been resolved probably way too quickly. Interning in a diner for his course, Atsumu thought that it would be nice to drop by with you one night, but arrived at the wrong time. Osamu, covered in a light sheen of sweat, had his hair messed up, a girl on top of him as he tried to push her off. It was obvious, and you knew that, but the image was burned in your mind.

Next were the nightmares. It wasn't too bad, but the image of him with another company pushed your buttons. It wasn't Osamu's fault. It was no one's fault. But your trust to other people had been lessened, and Atsumu found himself accompanying you every night at the diner. It benefitted him, as he learned more about you, and your relationship with Osamu, but he found his twin in a leash.

Osamu was being choked.

Atsumu had seen it, but as he found himself stopping the two of you from fighting, he knew he made a mistake of not doing anything beforehand.

Maybe getting a little booze really hits different sometimes.

He found you leaving the apartment immediately that night, tears overflowing just like Osamu, and it was too late.

He hadn't seen you ever since, and Osamu had finished his internship with an empty space in his heart.

Maybe it would be so much easier if you were here.

Atsumu was no fool. He knew that his twin loved you enough to give everything he had for you. His finger found himself tapping your number in his screen, the call button open for him to press, until he found himself looking at another face.

"'Samu! Don't scare me like that!"

"You're terrified of my face?"

"Yes!"

"... We share the same face."

"Well not now! You look so dead."

He sighed as he tried to push Osamu to his own room but his twin didn't budge. Instead, his gray-haired twin looks away and tugged his wrist to catch his attention. "'Tsumu, am i going to lose her?"

He felt himself break. How was he supposed to know? It was your relationship. He was just an onlooker. He ruffled his twin's hair, gazing at him sadly. "How am I supposed to know? I'm the idiot here." It made his twin chuckle and lean on his shoulder. "Damn right."

"You're supposed to say I'm not, stupid."

"Oh.. but I don't want to lie."

"On second thought, I hate you."

A few minutes later, Osamu had gone to sleep and Atsumu dialed your number.

The call was unexpected, making you even more nervous as you arrived at a familiar doorstep hours later. Has anything changed since you last came here? Shame flooded you, and you found yourself teary-eyed as you knocked on their door.

"Good morning 'Tsumu."

His smile and embrace was warm as he welcomed you into their flat. "Good morning n/n!" His face fell as he detached himself from you with a pout when you didn't respond to his hug. "Damn, don't act so cold around me please. I ain't yer ex here." You chuckled at his pettiness. "I'm just not sure how to act." Nodding, he muttered a small "understandable." before putting his essentials in his bag.

Looking around, the place looks tidied up but there was something missing. Despite the enchanting feel of the kitchen with the sun shining brightly through the window, it felt empty.

"He hasn't used the kitchen for a month, if you're wondering." You gulped down the guilt as you looked over to the sound of Atsumu's keys. "I'm heading out for practice. Thank you for this, n/n." You nodded and got to cooking, carefully handling everything to not create unnecessary noise.

He groggily made his way to the smell of food, wondering if Atsumu finally decided to learn how to cook properly.

Only to find you, sleeping peacefully, your head on the kitchen counter.

With all his remaining strength, he tried to lift you, only for you to wake up. "You're awake." He looks down at you in his arms before looking away. You rubbed your eyes as you easily moved out of his reach, the disappearance of your comforting warmth making him deflate. The sound of utensils and the soup being poured filled the tense atmosphere of the kitchen, none of you knowing what to say.

"Why—"

"Why—"

The two of you locked eyes briefly before you placed the soup and decided to distract yourself through looking down and fidgeting with your fingers. He notes the gesture mentally, before he sighed. "You go first."

"Why are you sick?"

"I went drinking with some classmates. Why are you here?"

"Atsumu had to go out and he called me here. Why did you go home so late?"

"Well, if I'm honest, I don't remember. I just know I blacked out and then the place was closing so.. I think you get it. Why are you asking?"

"Just.. curious."

Just like that, the atmosphere went back to being awkward as he silently sipped some of the soup. He had a satisfied look on his face, making your face warm. "I- Is the soup good?" He smiled at you and nodded, the shine in his eyes evident. "Better than before." You both froze at his comment as he turned away. "Sorry that wasn't.." He knew he couldn't take back the words. He found his eyes straying back to your hand slowly, hesitantly, reaching for his. He mindlessly took it under his palm, his heat slightly stinging your hands. "You're still too warm."

"Maybe I need a little bit more TLC."

"Yeah. Maybe-"

Your heartbeat pounded loudly as you realized what he was talking about but he was already laughing at your slip. "You really fell for it." Out of embarrassment, you withdrew your hand from his, fidgeting. "It's not funny." Your angry pout only made him laugh even more, tapping your cheek before wheezing a small "cute" in between his laughter.

Somehow it felt familiar as you also started smiling at the sight. It made him stop, drawing near your face. "I finally made you smile." Your face warmed even more as he pecked your lips. "Oh wait. I'm sick. Sorry."

You still haven't processed what he did when he stood up and carried his bowl to the sink, the said ill person about to wash it.

"Wait. I'll do it."

"Nah. I can do it."

"I know but.. I want to make it up to you."

He froze at your statement before chuckling. "What do you mean?"

"I messed up on our last fight. And I didn't notice it. So I wanna make it up to you."

"Isn't it.. Isn't it both our fault?"

"... I mean.. but.."

"Exactly. You cooked today so I'm cleaning the dishes."

He proceeded into cleaning them, humming under his breath. You only looked at his broad back, the muscles slightly moving under his shirt and the apron is tied loosely around his waist.

Like the other times the two of you shared the kitchen, your safe space.

Before you know it, your hands were around him, making him freeze like a statue. "I'm sorry." And though what you did was probably one of the most toxic things you can do, you found yourself being pressed close to his chest as he faced you, a fond smile on his face. "I'm sorry too, love."

"Let's cook tupig together when I'm not sick anymore, yeah?"

You squeezed him as you nodded, making him laugh at the gesture but returning it.

FARERS: @akasuns @doodleniella @kenmakodzu @lyzzklm @mfcassandra @oikaw-ugh @seijohlogy @thesecondapplepienation

happy new year to all of you reading this kith xx

[magicrowiswritingstuff]

“Not so good News” - Gabriel x female!reader (1/3)

Part 1 (you’re here!) | Part 2 | Part 3

Summary: After a successful solo hunt you are driving back to the bunker though you have to make a stop at a gas station. Everything seems normal until some men arrive with the intend to kill you.

(It’s a pre-established relationship and (L/N) means “last name”)

Warning: blood/injuries, panic attacks, heavy angst and violence

Category: 100% angst

Words: about 7000

Note: I only started season 13 a while ago so I know the timelines don't really match but I wanted the Winchesters to already be in the bunker with Gabriel present. Also, I added a living room in the library area again. Also please no spoilers, thanks!

Note 2: I have another fic about Gabriel. Click here if you want to read it. That one is more fluffy.

_________________________________

"Not so good News" - Gabriel x fem!reader

With a sigh you rubbed your eyes hastily before clutching the wheel of your car again in a tight grip, bringing it back in the lain you were supposed to be driving in. It was pretty late already, well after midnight and you were just returning from a solo hunt you had finished successfully only hours ago that had left you pretty exhausted.

On paper it had sounded like an easy one so you had decided to go alone. You enjoyed hunting with the Winchesters ever since you joined their little team but you had missed being independent and you felt like your skills had gotten a little rusty over time. You just didn't want to depend on someone intervening when you were unable to handle yourself, you wanted to challenge and improve your own skills again. And since the hunt seemed fairly simple, you found out that it was only a ghost, you had decided it was the perfect one to try on your own. Of course, Sam and Dean and especially Gabriel weren't all too pleased by it so you had to promise them that you would call them immediately if something was wrong. Only that you didn't do that even after the job had quickly turned out to be a little more complicated than you had initially thought. It wasn't a huge deal, really. You only had a problem finding the corpse of the ghost. But after teaming up with one of the locals who also had been the best friend of the ghost you were able to put the pieces together and find the corpse in the forest in which they had buried him in after an accident.

At least that was what you had told the boys over the phone after you had finished the hunt. You purposefully didn't tell them about the man -not ghost- trying to kill you and the local to hinder you from finding out the truth. The truth was him being the cause of the ghost's death. Anyway, after dealing with him the ghost was able to move on without the need of the corpse being burned. Maybe you would tell Gabriel the real story sometimes since the hunt was fairly interesting otherwise. But for that to happen you had to arrive at the bunker first which meant another good hour of driving. You yawned again. It was pretty late at night and you were still driving down the empty road with your eyes growing heavier by the second. The small inconveniences during the hunt only added up to your inability to sleep currently which was why your body was so exhausted now. Normally you would have searched for a motel now and slept there for the night but you really wanted to return to the bunker as fast as possible and since you were almost there you tried to force your body to carry on. Not that you could have slept if you had found a motel anyway. You just wanted to return to Gabriel and snuggle with him. Maybe then you would be able to sleep again. The archangel always had a soothing effect on you even though he was so full of energy himself. But whenever you needed a distraction or were just too stressed one hug from him was the only thing you needed to cheer you up.

Right now the mere thought of him improved your mindset and made you smile softly though it got interrupted by another yawn. Damn, you were really tired and your body ached and hurt. You cursed the psychotic man who had tried to kill you and you even cursed yourself under your breath. You just had to tackle him to the ground in a forest in which the ground was uneven. You could still feel every stone and branch stabbing in your back. Gripping your jaw you massaged the black bruise there. At least the man's punch had only left a bruise and not completely dislocated your jaw. Nevertheless it still hurt.

Groaning you blinked rapidly to avoid falling asleep while driving when you noticed a gas station coming up. Maybe they would have some coffee to go for you so your eyes wouldn't fall close all the time. You just needed to drive for one more hour but you feared your body would just collapse if you wouldn't get something to keep you awake.

 You stepped out of your car after you had parked it in one of the lots and put your keys in a pocket of your jacket. With a sigh you breathed in the fresh night air and looked around. The road you had followed up until now was surrounded by trees which now creaked once in a while as they were moved by the harsh wind. It was dark, long shadows stretched from the woods towards you with the only light source being the lights from the gas station to shoo them away. They illuminated the front row of the trees, making them appear not as frightening or unpredictable as the darkness behind them. But all in all it was a beautiful, quiet night and for a few more moments you just stood there, leaning against the car door and enjoying the silence and harmony. Looking up you admired the night sky and the stars dancing above you. There weren't any clouds covering them up tonight so you could see every single one, sparkling brightly so full of life. However, they were only small lights in the dark, not illuminating anything near you but still brightening up your mind. Though you were used to the darkness of the night, used by it through many hunts that had dragged on till the sun would rise up again so the blackness of the sky and nature around you seemed comforting now. But that hasn't always been the case because when you had been little you had feared the darkness and the monsters lurking in it. Like every child you had feared the monster in your closet or under your bed but not like every child you had to experience the painful truth. You had to learn that those monsters were real and you had to learn how to survive them. And to be honest you had feared the darkness up until adulthood, even after becoming a hunter. There were times in which you hadn't been able to sleep because you had feared another monster would try to attack you. You never continued with a hunt when it got dark which was very limiting because many only appeared in the night. You only got better at handling your fear after meeting and teaming up with the Winchesters. And after a while you learned to work with the darkness and not fight against it. So even though there were shadows all around you, stretching towards you, you didn't care. Your heart didn't even skip a beat anymore, you were completely calm. So why were you unable to sleep properly currently?

 Another sigh left your lips as you stretched your limps and broke away from your car. Rubbing your eyes and yawning loudly you walked to the shop which seemed like a little sun in the sea of darkness. Like a moth to a flame you got drawn towards it, or rather by the thought of a hot cup of coffee. But you continued to wonder about your nightly problems. You had never really been an insomniac before except for the time when you had been terrified by the dark so you really couldn't tell what your problem was all of the sudden. It seemed like you grew tired fairly easily but then when you would lie down you were unable to fall asleep and rest. It got very irritating and even caused some unpleasant outburst and mood swings which were often directed to Gabriel, Sam and Dean and sometimes even to Cas. You didn't want to get in their face and yell or growl at them all the time but without your much needed sleep you snapped very quickly. If another outburst had occurred you always made sure to apologize afterwards when your temper had cooled down but you felt awful about it nevertheless. However, you had noticed then when on a hunt you would snap more often which was also a hidden reason why you wanted to do one on your own.

 You had reached the shop while lost in your thoughts so you shook your head to clear it and then entered the small building. Looking around you noticed that the cashier was nowhere to be found. You figured that they would be in the backroom for a quick nap and since you didn't want to impose right away you decided to look at the aisles first. You immediately found different types of chips and snacks though your eyes got stuck by the chocolate bars. You normally loved chocolate and would have bought some immediately without question, maybe even to share with Gabriel later on, but when you looked at them a nauseous wave struck you. Gulping you turned your gaze away from the sweets as you felt rather ill all of the sudden. This was another thing you experienced more frequently since a couple of days and again you had no clue as of why. You hadn't caught the flu or any other stomach bug so you had to continue wondering what was up with your body currently. Turning away from the aisles completely you wanted to walk up to the counter and ring for the cashier to ask for some coffee when you saw four men approaching the shop. There wouldn't be anything unusual about that if you hadn't noticed that there was no car parked in the parking lot except for yours. Immediately your body and mind froze. The only way to reach this station was by car since the last and next city were about two hours away. So how did they get here?

Your heart beat quickened as they reached the door. Your sleep-deprived mind screamed at you to move as your hunter instincts took over but your body wouldn't obey. The men had entered the shop and now stood directly in front of you. Your trained senses from being a hunter rang in alarm; they screamed at you that something wasn't right, that their intentions weren't good. An uneasy feeling washed down your back as you glanced between the four men, trying to find out what they had planned but you couldn't focus your mind on them. You crossed your arms before your chest in a defensive manner and stared at them, taking one step back. All of the four men were dressed in black suits with matching ties. Did you end up in the men in black? If it weren't so late at night and the air so full of tension you probably would have laughed at the silliness of their entrance and appearance. Maybe you even would have thought that this could be one of Gabriel's many pranks but by the way these men looked at you with so much disgust in their eyes you knew that this was not a game. The man closest to you took another step forward which made you back away against one of the shelves. You had walked into a trap without realizing it.

 "(Y/N) (L/N)" the man spoke and looked down at you like you were only an insect to him. Taken aback you furrowed your brows and bit your tongue. Who were those men and why did they know you? They didn't seem familiar to you at all. Your breath hitched and you grabbed the shelf in a tight grip, trying to maintain a level head and not lose yourself in panic. You were a skilled hunter, no doubt in that but in your sleep-deprived state you definitely wouldn't be able to take on four men on your own. And this realization scared you more than you would like to admit. You knew that if this would escalate into a fight you wouldn't stand a chance especially cornered like that. Reluctantly you had to acknowledge that you weren't only very scared right now but also in a seemingly hopeless situation. Gulping you opened your mouth to speak: "What do you want?"

The men didn't answer you with words but by drawing their blades. However, they weren't normal blades. Your eyes widen in fear as you realized that they were angel blades. These men were angels.

You opened your mouth again but before a single word could escape over your lips the man closest to you swung the blade towards your chest. Immediately your adrenaline kicked in and all traces of sleepiness were gone as sheer terror took over your mind and body. You managed to dodge the attack and kick the man's arm away from your chest only barely. The tip still grazed your shoulder, making you hiss as you spun around and tried to run to the exit only to see that the three other men had blocked the door. Your body froze again as your mind spun in panic. You stood there like a deer caught in the headlights with no idea how to escape. The three men came towards you which made you even more anxious. How should you fight three people in front of you while also watching out for the one behind you … wait. You spun around to face the fourth man just as he rammed the blade into your side. You looked down, you knew that something had hit you but you didn't feel it yet. But luckily it only slashed your side. If you hadn't turned around he probably would have stabbed you right through the middle of your back. Your eyes snapped back up to meet his in the same moment as he grabbed your hurt shoulder with his free arm and rammed you against another shelf. He had pinned you against it with his arm presses against your throat. He let you struggle for breath. Instinctively you dug your fingernails in his arm and tore at the flesh, trying to pry him off. But he wouldn't butch. So you decided to kick him against both shins instead. His vessel moved a bit, allowing you enough wriggle room to push the arm away. Now able to breathe again you instantly clawed at the other arm which was holding the blade that was still scraping your side. Before even your mind could catch up you had already brought it down against your knee. Since they were angels you knew you couldn't hurt them much, however his vessel still reacted to the blow and his fingers let go of the blade. You caught it before it could hit the ground and then pushed the man away from you. Catching your breath you held the blade out towards the four men in a threatening manner.

 "What-" you huffed. The adrenaline in your veins made your heart beat uncontrollably fast and your breath choppy. "What do you want from me?"

Again you didn't get a verbal answer. Instead they began to walk towards you again. Struck with fear you ran. You pushed the man without a blade out of your way and ran towards the door. You had to get to your car, had to get away. Your breathing was livid as you ran but you didn't seem to be able to get any air inside your lungs. Your mind screamed at you. You couldn't believe angels wanted to kill you. Angels were out to kill you. Why? What had you done? Your grip around the blade tightened as you tried to ground yourself in reality. It didn't matter. You just had to get away. You could continue thinking about the reason later. But you saw it. You saw their duty to kill you in their eyes. And they were willing to.

You had almost reached the car when a fifth man walked out from behind it, his blade already drawn and angled towards you. Unable to stop you just duck under his blow and continued running. You ran into the woods. It got very dark pretty quickly but your mind screamed at you to not stop. So you ran further until you were unable to see any light from the gas station anymore. Then you took a sharp turn to the right and hid behind a tree. You clutched the blade against your shaking chest; you grabbed it tightly like it was a lifeline. Your breath stuttered over your lips, the air left you faster than the blood flowing out of your wound. The wound. Only then you remembered your bleeding side. And only then the pain finally hit you, it crushed brutally over you like a wave. Gasping for air you patted down your left side and hissed when you touched the open wound. You couldn't see any blood in the darkness but you felt the substance coating your fingers. You saw the bright red color through your inner eye.

You pressed the hand against the wound and bit your lip, drawing more blood as you tried to not scream out in pain. The angels would be searching for you so you had to stay quiet, no matter how difficult that was right now because you could already hear their footsteps, the crunching noise of leaves breaking under their feet. And it was coming closer. You attached the blade on your belt to push yourself up with your now free hand pressed against the tree, your right hand still pressed against the wound. A low groan left your lips before you were able to suppress it. Cursing under your breath you began to walk away from the crunching noises. You had to make a loop around them to get back to your car. You had to keep going. Another sound left your lips that resemble a high-pitched yelp more than a low groan. "I can't" you wheezed and collapsed to the ground as another wave of pain hit you. Your breathing was shallow; you didn't even seem to get any air inside your lungs anymore. They burned as much as the stab wound on your side. What should you do? What were you supposed to do? Oh God you couldn't fight five angels normally on your own let alone in your current condition. You felt tears streaming down your face before the first sob cut through your body. Clutching your chest you bend over, heaving though nothing came out apart from shallow breathing. But the nauseous feeling stayed. You couldn't stop gaging.

"Gabe" you stammered out between irregular breaths while crying even harder. "Gabe, oh God please help me." You wished he would appear in front of you, safe you, get you out of there. But he didn't show up. And through your in panic scattered mind you were able to grab one clear thought. You wondered if the angels had blocked you from reaching any other angel.

 You had to find a way out of here on your own. You had to fight. You had to get away. So you pulled yourself up again.

"Don't think about the pain. The blood on my hand. My blood."

You cried out as another wave of pain burned through you. But you carried on, you had to, you had to continue walking back towards the car. You clenched your teeth and pulled through, pushed forward. After a while you noticed that you couldn't hear any footsteps anymore. But that revelation didn't calm you down. The silence of the forest, the silence of the darkness freaked you out even more. You felt like a kid again, you felt how you had when you had feared the dark and the monsters in it as a hunter. You saw shadows move around you, stretching towards you, trying to grab you. You saw your bedroom in front of your inner eye, your closet encased in the darkness and the shadows dancing in front of your window. You grabbed your blanket from your bed; put it over your head in a desperate attempt to hide from the monsters. You whimpered, not believing that this was real. It wasn't real. You weren't a kid anymore. Shaking your head you tried to escape from the pictures in your mind. And as your vision cleared your breathing hitched and you broke out in a cold sweat. You were surrounded by trees. You had run into the forest, remember. Long shadows. Was there someone behind you? You jumped as you heard something break. Just a branch. Who was there? Fearful your eyes darted around, trying to catch a glimpse of the monsters that were after you. But they weren't monsters, they were angels. Groaning in pain you shook your head and began to walk again.

"Don't think about it. It's only shadows, only the darkness of the night. It's comforting not frightening" you whispered, trying to convince yourself. "You work in the dark. It's comforting not frightening."

 You yelped as you stepped into a tiny hole, stretching your injured side painfully. Holding yourself upright by leaning on a tree you tried to catch your breath. By now your whole side seemed to be engulfed in flames. You felt like you were burning alive. Cursing under your heavy breathing you dug your nails over the flesh of your wound. It hurt but this pain distracted you from the greater pain which pulsed through you like fire.

Gritting your teeth again you pushed yourself forward. You could already see the lights from the gas station again. You almost made it. Only a couple more steps. The hope to get away filled you with determination. You could do it. You groaned.

"I can do it."

Huffing you stopped behind another tree to observe the parking lot of the gas station. You didn't see anything suspicious at first but just when you decided to leave the protective shadows you saw the fifth man circling your car. Your heart beat painfully fast as you stopped your movement and stepped back into the darkness. What were you supposed to do now? What to do? You clutched the wound on your side as panic was flooding over you, pushed you down like a wave in the ocean. Your breathing hitched even though you seemed to not get any air in your lungs. You couldn't breathe, you felt like you were trapped underwater. Your head spun in dizziness.

Shaking your head you looked down at your wound. For the first time you could make it out in the dim light of the gas station. Taking off your jacket, which had a hole ripped in by the blade, you checked the injury. It was a deep gash you knew so much but by all the blood covering your shirt and body your side could as well be ripped open completely. As you palpated the wound you hissed. Definitely deep. You looked at your freshly blood covered fingers. And still bleeding. You needed to stop the bleeding even if it was only for a short while. So you removed your shirt and ripped it apart to wrap it around your torso like a bandage. It wouldn't do much, you knew that, but maybe it would slow down the bleeding so you wouldn't pass out because of blood loss. After you had secured it tightly you put on your jacket again, zipping it up to the very top. You had to focus.

"Focus! You can handle one angel."

You grabbed the angel blade and detached it from your belt, weighting it in your blood covered hand.

"My blood."

Shaking your head you turned to the gas station, looking at your car which was still circled by the man. He had his blade drawn, too and watchful eyes that scanned the whole ground. You would have to sneak up on him. Looking down at your blood covered side you nodded to yourself. You wouldn't be able to win a frontal confrontation with him in your state. So you began to move forward, still engulfed by the shadows of the trees. He was watching the part of the woods you had escaped into earlier the most, the part which was closest to your car. You had to move to the side and sneak up on the angel from further away, hoping he wouldn't turn to you. It wasn't much of a plan but you had no other option. Your pulse was racing, making your body shiver and your skin tingle.

 "Concentration" you reminded yourself. You waited for the angel to finish his round to look at the specific part of the woods again. The man stopped and turned to the trees. Now was your chance. So you began to speed-walk towards him as silently as you could muster, blade drawn. You were only a few steps away from the man when he turned around, his eyes widening in realization. Without thinking you jumped forward and tackled him to the ground, pinning his hand which held the blade down with your knee. Raising the blade above your head you hesitated to bring it down into the angel's chest. They wanted to kill you and you didn't even know why but you still hesitated. And of course the man saw his chance and exploited your weakness. With his free hand he punched you in the face. With disoriented view and mind your grip on him loosened which led to him kneeing into your already injured side. Screaming out in pain you felt the blade leave your hands as you clutched your wound instead. Your eyesight got hazy, black dots dancing in front of you, laughing at you. What was happening? Before your sight could clear again or before you knew it the angel had knocked you down and was now the one leaning above you. Groaning you blinked rapidly until your sight got better. Just to face the man grabbing his blade and bringing it down towards you. With your eyes wide in horror you put your hands protectively out in front of you. You grabbed his arms as the blade only barely hovered over your throat, desperately trying to push him further away. But you were in a poor position with your strength leaving your body quickly. The blade hovered dangerously close over your throat, taunting you. Your arms were shaking, your breathing irregular and heart stuttering. Grunting you channeled the last drops of your strength and pushed his hands to the side with a cry. The blade pierced through your shoulder that had been nicked by the blade earlier which was now lying on the ground beside you. A high-pitched scream left your trembling lips as tears exploded from your eyes, streaming down your dirt covered face. You searched for your blade blindly, scanning the ground with your hands until the tips of your fingers touched its cold, smooth handle. With a loud battle cry you grabbed the blade as the angel pulled his out of your shoulder. Sitting up you rammed the blade inside the angel's chest and watched as he screamed and got illuminated by a bright light which made you squint your eyes. Then the man's body went limp and fell to the ground beside you. Groaning and wheezing you pushed yourself up only to fall back to the ground. With shaking hands you reached out towards your right shoulder, stretching your injured side in the progress which made you hiss. As you touched the wound you immediately gasped for air, trying to hold back the tears that already filled your eyes again. This was bad. Turning around you pushed yourself up on your knees and looked at your hands. Your hands were red, deep red. A red sea, blood sea. Blood. You were losing too much blood. Your body ached. It hurt so badly. You gaged. God, you felt so nauseous. And so tired. You felt the adrenaline slowly leave your body, leaving you exhausted. You wouldn't survive very long in your state with four more angels on the hunt for you and without any help.

"Gabriel" you tried again. "Gabe, please help me. I need you here, please."

But he didn't show up. You were still blocked, unable to reach him. You had to get away from the other angels. You had to get into your car.

 Panting you grabbed the keys from your pocket and heaved yourself up right. You stumbled to your car, unlocked it and fell onto the driver's seat with a suppressed scream. Get away. Flee now. You closed the door and started the motor with a grunt. As you put the car into reverse, moving your injured shoulder to do so, you cried out again. Grabbing the wheel you saw the blood now sticking on the leathery material. Blood everywhere. Your body screamed and ached. It hurt so badly. Your eyes darted around in the inside of the car. Blood was flowing out of your shoulder and side, seeping through the temporary bandage and covering your car, painting it red. You shook your head.

"Concentration!" you hissed. You pulled out of the parking spot just as one angel left the forest. You saw the hatred in his eyes, the fury and disgust glistening in the inhuman eyes. You had to get away. Now! You stepped on the gas immediately. You wouldn't hesitate anymore. Get away! Your mind was blank. The only thought on your mind was to escape. You wanted to see Gabriel again. You had to. You had to get away.

 You didn't see back, didn't turn around or look if they were following you. They weren't. Your fingers were wrapped around the steering wheel so tightly that your knuckles stood out white and prominent and your nails dug into your palms. Nevertheless you weren't able to suppress the shaking of your body, no matter how much you tensed up. You heaved again, felt like throwing up again but like before nothing came out as your body continued to tremble. You didn't even see the road anymore; it was hidden behind a curtain of tears. Were you even still driving or standing still? You sharply sucked in the air. Focus. You need to focus. But the control was slipping away from you like the surface when thrown underwater. The wave was pressing you down again and you sunk deeper and deeper. The pressure of the water above you pinned you down; it sat on your chest and made you unable to breathe. Gasping and groaning you tried to claw at the surface, tried to reach it but you couldn't. You were sinking. You were drowning.

And then you opened your eyes and you were back in your childhood bedroom. It was dark. The only light illuminating some of the room was creeping from under the door. It made the button eyes of your stuffed animals which had always protected you before glister viciously. It made them scary. They terrified you. You wanted to call for your parents but your mouth was too dry and your tongue seemed to be tied into a knot. So you turned away instead only to see thin arms scratching on the glass of your window, begging you to let them in. The darkness was suffocating, it was cold and hot and scary and you were helpless. You were only a child. What were you supposed to do? You couldn't fight. You couldn't fight the darkness, the fear and panic. Hot tears were streaming down you face as you tried to fill your lungs with air. The shadows were looming over you, eating away the light and leaving you behind in complete empty darkness.

 Another scream left your lips as the pain in your shoulder seemed to explode. Brought back into reality you step on the breaks so suddenly that your body was almost thrown forward. You howled, clutched your shoulder and threw your head back. There were still tears clouding your eyes and hazy thoughts clouding your mind but you knew where you were again. You were in your car. Gasping. You could only gasp. But breathing was hard. Really hard. Another cry left your lips. Air. You clawed at your throat. You needed air. What was only happened? Why- angels wanted to kill you. What was happening here? You head pounded painfully. Your breathing hitched again and your thoughts got mushy. It was as if you could only see them through a thick fog, as if they were obscured from yourself. Angels wanted to kill you. You felt so sick. You were losing blood quickly. But what... what were you supposed to do? Bandage. You had none. A scream spilled over your lips and then another one. It hurt so badly and you were so weak. Weak and getting even weaker by the second. Shaking your head you tried to sort your thoughts. You had to concentrate. But there was nothing that could hold you in reality. Until your phone rang. Grabbing it with shaking fingers you saw that it was Gabriel calling you. Gabriel. Your Gabriel. You accepted the call. You wanted to say something but nothing came out. It was like your throat was laced up tight. You were still gasping for air. You felt like fish on dry land, surrounded by air, by oxygen but unable to breathe it in.

 "(Y/N)?" Gabriel asked with worry in his voice after you hadn't said anything for many seconds. You immediately sobbed, not able to suppress it and the screech of pain afterwards.

"(Y/N)!" the archangel yelled. You sucked in the air, preparing yourself to answer him. But your body shook so much you feared your voice would too.

"Gabe" you finally hiccupped while wailing in pain. Clutching your side you hissed. "Gabe, help me."

You sounded pathetic. You were a hunter you should have been used to dangerous situations like this one. But the revelation that angels were after you shook you more than you would like to admit. So you sounded like a desperate child and you felt like a helpless child. You were injured. Baldy injured. And you needed help.

"Where are you? What happened?" he asked but you didn't even seem to register it. Your mind was so cloudy. You felt like you were spacing out and in constantly. You felt like throwing up again. But you managed to push one clear thought through as you prayed to him: "I'm here, Gabriel." You hoped that he would find you this time; that you could reach him this time. You groaned and let your phone fall onto the floor of the car. Your arm was too weak to hold it to your ear any longer. Your breath stuttered over your lips as a tingling sensation took control over your shaking body. You only faintly noticed your car door opening and the voice yelling your name. Only when he touched you, you looked to your left and saw Gabriel standing on the street. His eyes were filled with worry and shock as he saw the state you were in. He grabbed you, picked you up onto his arms and before you knew it you suddenly were in the bunker.

 "(Y/N)?" you could hear Sam's cry of worry but we're unable to answer him.

"Gabriel, what happened?" Dean asked the archangel who still held you in his arms. You were probably bleeding all over him. Bleeding. Your wounds. You groaned again, gasping for air and clutched at Gabriel's shirt. You couldn't tell if your disoriented vision was sat on his face or if you were staring at the ceiling.

"Why is she still in pain? Haven't you healed her?" Dean accused the archangel with his voice filled with distrust.

"Of course, I healed her" Gabriel snapped back and began walking to the couch on the side of the library. "But she has lost a lot of blood so she will still feel tired and in pain for some time." the archangel laid you down on the cushions which made you groan again.

"Gabe" you gasped and reached out to him even though you still weren't really able to see clearly. But Gabriel grabbed your hand and sat down beside you. He held your hand close to him in both of his hands and waited for your breathing to calm down, whispering soothing words you weren't even able to really understand. Blinking away the tears you finally were able to make out his face.

"Ga-" you started but clenched your teeth as another wave of pain, phantom pain burned through you.

"Angels" you panted. Sam and Dean joined the two of you, standing behind Gabriel and looking down at you, worried. "They tried..." you gasped, your body tensed up again. "..to kill me."

To your surprise the three men standing over you didn't seem surprised.

"We know" Gabriel said and the Winchesters nodded. Confused you furrowed your brows and tried to sit up with your back pressed against the arm rest. Slowly the pain seemed to wash away, though your body was still sore and tired.

"What? Wh-why?" you asked and freed your hand from Gabriel's grasp. You pressed that one against your skull. The headache was still pounding against it but at least your breathing seemed to regulate itself again. You saw up to them, waited for an answer, an explanation. But they stayed silent, looked at each other before turning their focus back to you.

"Gabe?" you addressed him directly.

"It's because..." he started but you could see the conflict in his eyes, the fear and worry dulling his usually bright honey eyes. You braced yourself, or at least tried to because what he said next ... you would have never expected that.

 "It's because you're pregnant."

 You blinked rapidly and opened your mouth but no sound stepped over your lips. Suddenly you felt very nauseous again and clutched your stomach out of instinct.

"Wha-what?" Was that a joke? Another one of his pranks?

"You're joking..." you stammered and shook your head. This couldn't be real. You glanced at Sam and Dean but they seemed very serious. You looked back at Gabriel. "This can't be real. Is this a joke?"

"I'm serious" the archangel said and reached out to you but you flinched back instinctively. Hurt flashed over his face. But you couldn't react to it as another wave of panic threatened to crash over you again. You were pregnant. You were pregnant with Gabriel's child. A Nephilim. You began to gag and heave again, bending over as new tears spilled out of your eyes. Grasping your throat instinctively you tried to pry the invisible hands off. You were shivering and shaking like a leave again. This couldn't be real. Your body heated up only to cool down immediately afterwards. Or maybe you just imagined it. Or you were just going crazy. You gaged again as dizziness closed its claws around you: The darkness closed its claws around you again. You felt as helpless as a kid. You felt as helpless as you were when you had been only a kid. You felt so sick. So weak. So overwhelmed. Your breathing hitched, got more rapid. Pregnant. Not a joke. You were...

 "Pregnant." Was that a question, an observation? The reflex to gag stopped and suddenly you felt very tired as the adrenaline left your system.

Nephilim. They were forbidden. You would be killed because you were pregnant with one.

"How do you...?" you asked and straightened up again. Your gaze was flickering around as panic slowly closed its claws around you again.

"Angel radio" Gabriel replied. "Every angel knows."

You stayed silent. You didn't know what to say.

"Did you know?" the archangel asked. You only shook your head, unable to reply with words. You felt so nauseous.

"What am I supposed to do now?" you asked not directed to anyone specifically.

"We will protect you" Dean said. "And the baby."

Sam agreed as well as Gabriel. They began to talk but you didn't even hear them.

You were pregnant. This was the only thought spinning in your mind. Pregnant. What were you supposed to do now? What should you do? This can't be happening. Your breathing got shallow again. This wasn't real. You were still in that small town, occupied with that ghost hunt. You were, only dreaming. This had to be a dream. This wasn't real. It couldn't be real. This wasn't happening. Your wounds began to burn again. But they were healed. They couldn't burn. You only imagined the pain. This wasn't real. All of this couldn't be real.

 "Hey." You snapped back into reality. Looking up you met Gabriel's soft eyes. He tried to appear calm and collected, tried to sooth you but you knew that behind his honey colored eyes a storm like the one inside of you was raging. He was panicking as well but he managed to look at you with so much love you almost forgot all those worrying thoughts that were screaming inside your mind.

"Everything will be alright" Gabriel said and squeezed your hand before continuing to draw circles on the back of it. You nodded and smiled at him. Or at least you tried because you knew that only one of you would survive this pregnancy: You or the child. And you wouldn't let you be the one to end up alive.

  To be continued: Part 2 is here

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I purposefully didn’t state that the reader is pregnant in the beginning so it would be as surprising as it is in the story. Did I succeed?🤔