#ill give you the names of the universes pls ask me about one of them

[your-dead-european-ancestor]

I am BEGGING Someone PLEASE ask me about my ocs ive been bouncing all my oc lore on my brother and i think i broke him

[jacedified]

things i cant stop thinking about !!

most of this is going to imperium related so enjoy my brain turning mwah

also pls ignore my mid sentence rambling i have a serious problem

warnings: gore/mentions of death , violence , imperium , swearing :D , adult with internet access cant shut up

- yandere caller being a shade

(someone said this on a hc list and now im actively running with it)

- sams eyes being brown

(as a brown eye haver i know he misses them dearly and i wnna give him the worlds sweetest biggest longest hug)

- the idea of gavin “slicing” peoples threads for kody in imperium

(forcing my husband ((i need therapy im married to a fictional incubus)) to do such acts simply because you want to you sick freak ILL FUCKING KILL U- oh wait gavin already did xoxo kiss my ass from hell kody)

- the look on kodys face at the end of it all

(as previously stated i wanted that man dead.. i just wanna make sure hes actually gone yknow)

- what asher’s smile looked like when him and david were together (imperium)

(knowing that david was gone, hearing the random audience member asking for david to be alive and left alone in the first imperium video, knowing they were mates, knowing how heartbroken asher was after his death i just wanna see them happy maann ((it feels criminal to use emojis on tumblr)) 😭😭)

- if lasko calling freelancer “my dear” when you first met him in the haven was a sneak peek for his later ((is the word prime for like normal redacted universe characters i can’t remember, like prime lasko yada yada)) listeners name

- if no one was watching gavin WOULD HE HAD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IMP!HUXLEY???

(the amount of shit talking hux did when freelancer and gavin first get to the haven had me ready to fight in an instant ((it mightve just been my overwhelming adoration for gavin but still)) like he was acting like an annoying jock who gets a job as security for some fuck ass rich university and thinks hes on top of the world like dont piss me off huxley or damien gets it in the other universe so help me god)

- is anyone else as attracted to the tension between vincent and asher in imperium as i am..

(i have no words for how “yippee kicking my feet happy smiley kiss now kiss now what if u kissed rn” i was when asher and vincent are talking but also i feel like pet ((is that vincents listeners name or vegas I CANT REMEMBER PLS)) was behind a door listening in and getting jealous bc “that should be me holding your hand..”

… excuse the outburst)

- vampire milo.. thats all

(GAWD hes so hot like he always is and always has been but jesus FUCKING christ theres something about him having been a vamp did something to me that i cant even explain)

- what was avior saying to lasko to make him irritated with him..

(i mean yeah hes a yapper but i feel like it was just “hey we need help down here” and lasko rolling his eyes and waiting two weeks before actually doing anything)

- WHERE TF IS ELLIOT WHERE TF IS SUNSHINE CAN I BEAT BLAKES ASS??

- what would have happened had milo not broken the ward

(again someone else mentioned this ((i would tag them but it was 6hrs ago and i was just scrolling and reading)) and now i cant stop thinking about it)

- what is avior hearing in his last video

(its been a while since ive actually listened to aviors playlist again but there was a voice or sounds he was hearing after getting out of the meridian and its just been on my mind)

- gavin having a myspace account

(he would love myspace i just know he would and i feel like he’d be an avid tumblr user but like its just him posting his favorite pics of himself from the week and updates on whatever small pet him and freelancer would very obviously inevitably get bc he saw it in a pet store or on the street and couldnt resist)

- what happens when freelancer gets old..

(freelancer is just that.. a freelancer. they arent a vamp, or a demon, or even some secret third thing.. what happens to them and gav when they get old. have they had that talk yet? i shouldnt think about this bc it makes me spiral into a bucket of tears and sadness bc its the same thing with sam and darlin’ like we wont know what theyll do when their partners get old and they are still young and immortal.. sigh 😔)

- can i cut the meridian open with a knife if i tried?

(how thin is the meridian? how easy is it to access? how long would it take me to literally stab it open? ((i have serious issues)) )

- imp!damien..

(yea i have a crush on him or whatever nothing crazy)

- is the person asher catches in imperium baabe or is it just random listener #18683 ?

(obviously my first thought when i listened to imperium like a year ago i thought baabe nd asher would be together ((i was delusional and on an asher high)) but then when it was revealed that he and david were mates in that universe did that mean baabe just doesnt exist or are they the person that gets caught by him or again some secret third thing)

- what happens to angel in the mess that is imperium, honestly what happens to all the shaw pack listeners

(obviously sweetheart is left out of this equation bc them and milo are still happily obsessed with each other in every universe BUT angel, baabe, and darlin where yall at??)

- WHERE ARE THE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EMPATHY DEMONS IN IMPERIUM UNIVERSE??

(this just popped into my mind but WHERE IS MY SON?? what have u done with my son WHERE IS MY SON??!!?)

- is anyone else as obsessed with just erik and his mind?

(that handsome blessing to my youtuber universe.. i could listen to him babble for hours and will do so bc it feeds my “listening to nerdy man babble on abt his fixations” quota)

- what imperium versions of characters do people prefer over their counterparts

(personally i prefer imp! huxley, damien, and vincent over their prime versions ((still dont know if im using the term prime in the right context)) idk what it is but well i know what it is for huxley and damien but we dont need to get into why i dont like hux and dames rn :D but for vincent i just like seeing a different version of him i think.. hes so confident with his decisions, and knows what he wants in imperium i just want that for regular vince too.. sigh)

uhh anyways.. i think thats enough thinking for now, going back to sleep

stay safe out there

[schizoidcel]

Hii! Saw that you’ve opened requests for project moon. What about Sinclair x reader (original universe or mirror) where reader was sure that Sinclair hates them. But Sinclair was just shy + his menacing gaze wasn’t particularly helping. Kinda hurt - comfort. Btw have a good day!

## CINQ!SINCLAIR x READER ★☆

🤍🖤 ﹒ ENGAGEMENT . .

－ notes ̽ ۪⠀i did cinq sinclair since i think he fit lol (for the other anon who reqeusted (yk who u r) ILL GET TO IT I SWEAR m just struggling abit but with the prompt u gave vut bear with me pls♡)

︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : not proofread, MIGHT be abit the tiniest bit ooc

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 : your new director lowkey scares the ever living shit out of you :heart:

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

Oh he's terrifying

You were recently promoted to south section 4, and ofcourse you heard the things you dubbed as 'rumours' about the director of the branch.

Now, not only did you think wrong, but you felt like he had something against you

Yes, you talked to him from time to time, and from the way he spoke with you and with others you gathered that he was a timid and nervous man

But it all just changed when he was lecturing people, moreso if he was in an ACTUAL duel

Seeing him in the 'training hall' trying to teach tricks and whatnot to his underlings, but ultimately he either accidently ends up being too hard on them or

Uh

Actually just that .

Frankly you were abit scared to train under him aswell

Sure, he did seem truly kind hearted ..

So why is it that whenever you felt a stare on you, you felt like you were having a fight to the death with the south section 1 fixers

UEAG anyway

Soon enough, it was your time to train with him! Yay!

He had his eye on you (very obviously) and was excited to have a friendly training session with you<3

But you were (also very obviously) scared and reluctant around him, sighing alot

Which made the maneven more nervous 😭😭

He's used to people being frightened while getting trained by him but he genuinely thought he was nice with you so far and that you two had something going

Did he do something wrong. Why are you scared. He dosen't mean to bite he swears

He tries to distract himself from the fact you might REALLY REALLY not like him by straying off course and teaching you random ass association battle tricks everyone should actually be aware of (even though suprisingly you learnt some new stuff)

He can't properly express his emotions, it's a thing he struggles with

After interacting with him you can pick up that he's just a demure young man, one you'll have to be patient with

You'll have to reassure him that he's fine and he'll go back to normal! (as normal as he can got back to)

────────── ♱ ❜ 🖤 . .

"G-good day, [name]! How are you?" The child asked, looking at them with curiosity. "...Well, you know, same old, same old... Ha. Ha. Haha." Some thoughts suicide got into their head for a moment.

However, the child didn't seem to care. Infact, he was ecstatic at the answer he had been given. "That's good to hear..! Uhm, as you're new, I'll make sure to teach you alot." He said with a smile.

Yet again, he wasn't entirely stupid. He could tell that everyone he duelled against had always been in a state of distress, and this time was no different.

What was different was the fact that the child had a newfound determination of trying his best to make sure the same incident dosen't happen again.

He had been wanting to talk to the newly promoted fixer for awhile now. At times, he would think of trying to figure out what to say that would be a good enough excuse to approach them.

He did not find this excuse, and kept staring at them for a long period of time accidently, which in turn inevitably brought upon a wrong idea in the head of his person of interest.

Sure, he was awkward, but he tried, and he found this a good oppurtunity. The child didn't want to give up.

"Alright, so..." He started to raise his voice just a little bit, not wanting to come off as too uncertain. "First, it's important to know the right way to yield the sword, but I'm aware you know that..." He chuckled abit, trying to lighten up the mood. He was in thought for abit, then began speaking once more.

"'Disengagement' is a commonly used tactic, as it is also very effective if executed correctly. I assume you also know of that?" The child questioned and proceeded to draw his sword.

The other child, dubbed [name], nodded their head. "I do." Although, the voice suggested more of a 'I don't actually know, but please let me be.' tone rather than a 'I know, and you don't have to teach me.' tone.

"Well, I would still like to teach you it in a more proper way. As your new director!" A sigh came out of the newly promoted Fixer's mouth, which made the child awkwardly chuckle. "...Uhm..." He thought he might've done something wrong. Not just in the interaction happening right now, but also the several times he attempted to be friendly with his person of interest, who now looked completely done and unnerved infront of him. Yet he couldn't focus on that right now. "Alright, let me demonstrate --"

The childs underling looked abit more stressed after he uttered those words, but they drew their sword aswell regardless.

The child proceeded to instruct his trainee.

It was obvious that both of them were in completely different physical spaces.

"'Pistol Grip', [name]." "Like this?" "N... No. Wait, let me -" "Ouch." "- Sorry!"

What was also kind of obvious was that they were in completely different mental spaces.

'Oh god. I can't keep going on like this... The awkwardness is killing me. I feel like I'm doing something wrong.' 'I wonder if director Quixote is singing in the Caféteria again...'

However, as both the children were distracted on the training field, an accident was sure to arrive soon.

Unfortunately, the director almost completely pierced through the shoulder of the one he trained. "Shit--" "O-oh dear..! [Name], I'm- I'm so sorry! I was..." The child panicked as he dropped his weapon and walked towards his trainee for today with haste, abit uncharacteristically. Thankfully, nobody really paid attention to nor noticed the both of them, due to the hall being so loud. The injured child groaned abit in pain as they clutched their shoulder, which made the directors heart fill up with guilt.

"A-again, I apologize sincerely, [name]. I'm just... Really distracted, I don't know how to explain it." He did, actually. He just really didn't want to because pf embarassment. "Maybe we should cancel the training session, I'll get you some assistance --"

"O-oh, director, don't worry about it." "..?" "It's alright. I know how you feel, actually. So I can understand. Cancelling the session really isn't necessary, It was probably my fault for treating this whole encounter weirdly in the first place... Maybe you in general, too. So I should apologize... Sorry."

The child looked abit taken aback from that statement, but shook his head and let out a relieved chuckle, "It's alright, please don't worry... I'm, uh, glad we resolved this." He smiled, a smile unusually soft and heart felt, especially coming from this one.

"Then, I hope you can come to me abit more in confidence if you need anything, [name]." The child seemed to have been abit more at ease now, which made him manage to speak quite normally.

He wondered if it would be considered weird to ask them to hang out later right in this moment.

"... I change my mind, can we bandage this?" "Ah, but ofcourse..!"

HEARTS FOR UR REQUEST <3 i had fun writing this hes so pathetic lol. i added a scenario cus i didnt rlly know how to do the hcs (ALSO SORRY IF HES OOC? im not the biggest sinnie fan so i mightve messed up oops

on another note .. i wanted to use the narrator for the id uptie stories cus i feel like it'd be neater that way. so i didnt really describe every single emotional change but im sure yall can like figure out where and what

ૢ་༘࿐ thank you for reading ! Ⳋ᧙

[idyllic-affections]

i know my kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes.

summary. "Baizhu reached out to their shoulder, giving it a tender squeeze. "I just want to know why you left so abruptly. We were so close. There is nothing you could say or do that would make me resent you."" trigger & content warnings for self-hatred, severe blood, major traumatic life events, depictions of trauma, panic attacks & a fuck ton of crying, implications of suicidal ideation but it is never explicitly stated in an obvious way, overall heavy on the themes of mental health, heavy spoilers for baizhu's story quest and childe's character stories, [name] is called pretty once. tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. friends to strangers to friends, hurt/comfort. baizhu & childhood friend!reader, brief hints of childe & reader. 10k words. they/them pronouns for reader. author's thoughts. it is here. the fabled "friends to something significantly worse to friends again" fic is finally here (june if you're reading this, thank you for the idea lmaoo <33). btw! this post runs on the theory that skirk is associated with khaenri'ah. no idea what her personality is like so.... bear with me pls. she gives off "tired, bitter big sister" vibes in this fic. at one point, nightmare by set it off started playing while i was writing this and i think thats so fucking funny, that is so childhood friend![name]core. a LOT of ironic songs played while i was writing this actually! maybe ill make a post about it?

       "What's the last thing on our list?"

       Surely the sky had been painted by the Celestial Gods above—how else could one even hope to explain the otherworldly beauty it held? Pinks blended smoothly in with hues of golden orange and baby blue as the sun crept lower and lower towards the horizon. A few stars already dotted the evening sky, twinkling and sparkling against their background.

       In the reflection of their eyes, the light danced.

       Their friend hummed thoughtfully, brushing some of his hair away from his face, before scanning the words written in practically illegible handwriting inside the little journal the two's shared master had given them. "Violetgrass... I think."

       "You think?" they echoed, amused, peering over his shoulder into the notebook. He shrugged.

       "Master's handwriting isn't exactly... er, legible."

       They giggled at that. "No doctor's is. I think it has something to do with how many prescriptions they have to write on a daily basis. Like... they have to write fast, so they have some kind of language of their own to be as efficient as possible."

       "Is that so?"

       "...Honestly, I don't know. Something like that, I guess."

       He smiled at them, teasing, "Shouldn't you know better than anyone, [Name]?"

       "Shut up, Baizhu, I'm still learning!" they huffed with faux annoyance, snatching the book from his hands. "Yeah, that says Violetgrass. Hm... you should probably go back, then. It's getting kind of late," they mused, meeting the boy's gentle burgundy gaze. "I've got it from here."

       "Are you sure?" he asked. "I don't mind going with you."

       "I'm sure. I get Violetgrass on my own all the time. It gets cold at night, and with everything going on, it's probably better that only one of us goes out. Less of a chance of the sickness spreading further, you know?"

       "I can't really argue with that," he admitted. "Alright, but don't stay out too late."

       "Don't worry," they reassured, "I don't intend to."

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       Darkness had fallen by the time they reached their normal spot for gathering Violetgrass. Specks of glittery stars dotted the night sky; it took all of their mental strength to not sit and admire it. They would never get their task done if they did.

       'The last time I did this with my bag on, I fell.'

       With that thought in mind, they hummed and carefully took the cross-body bag filled to the brim with medicinal herbs off. They set it neatly to the side. Before beginning, they stretched, hoping to somehow make themselves more flexible and limber by doing so. A series of satisfying pops were released from their bones.

       It was then that they began gingerly scaling the cliffside—it wasn't impossibly steep, and they'd done it an abundance of times in the past, so it didn't present too big of a challenge. It wasn't anything they weren't used to.

       The ground then unexpectedly trembled beneath their feet. They huffed as their foot slipped, sending them sliding down a few feet and back onto solid ground. The single piece of Violetgrass that they needed seemed to mock their failure from its place several feet above them.

       "Aw, come on..." they murmured, slightly frustrated. "Maybe I should have had Baizhu stay and help..."

       Then, again without warning, just as they were about to make another attempt, the ground split open.

       A scream was torn from their throat as they fell. It was as if Teyvat itself had swallowed them into its core. They made a a desperate attempt to reach for the surface, but as soon as they were in, the crack snapped shut once again. No matter how fast they fell, no kind of ground ever seemed to get any closer. Briefly through their terror, they wondered if this was how they'd die—falling into nothingness for eternity until they starved, mortal body eventually decaying into nothing and becoming one with the never-ending emptiness.

       This was never meant to be how they'd die. Their death was supposed to be fated through Changsheng's contract, not through... this.

       A sob ripped through their throat as their body unexpectedly slammed into the ground. Upon impact, they knew at least a handful of bones in their wrists had broken. Perhaps it was unwise to brace their fall with their wrists, but then again... it would have been far worse if they landed on their back. Breaking their back may very well have been a death sentence in the scenario they were in. Honestly, they were just thankful that their shoulders and forearms seemed to be okay, aside from a rhythmic throbbing coursing through both arms. Their body trembled pathetically like a leaf in the wind, ready to be blown away at any second. At least a leaf would see daylight or even moonlight.

       It was pitch black for them, as if the darkness actively sought out and destroyed any source of light it was capable of finding. It seemed to sap any will they might've had to resist, to find a way out. Their will was gone. It was like it was never there in the first place. The ominous dark took all that determination, all that light, and consumed it like a starved beast until there was nothing but a shell left behind.

       A deep pit settled in their gut as they whimpered, curling up into a ball. Surely, this was just a dream. An awful, terrible dream. They'd wake up and everything would be normal—they'd still be on the surface, gathering the last of their master's requested herbs before heading back and resuming their life as normal.

       Regardless of whether or not this was a horrifying nightmare, sleeping was far more appealing than staying awake.

       It was with tears rolling down their cheeks that they tucked their head into their arms, wincing at the shooting pain that ascended the length of their arms when too much pressure was applied to their wrists, and succumbed to the boundless darkness.

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       Time was an illusion.

       That's how they felt, at least, because they had no idea how long they had been underneath Teyvat for. It could've been hours or it could've been days—they wouldn't know the difference either way. Everything was fuzzy. Their sleep was restless and interrupted; no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't truly sleep. Even if they managed to fall asleep, they'd wake up again after a few minutes with a jolt and a wave of paranoia. What frustrated them so deeply about it was that they knew very well that their body would never heal if they didn't sleep well. They'd never have the strength to escape if that were the case. It was infuriating.

       The distant echo of footsteps made their muscles tense. The sound ceased a few feet away from where they laid.

       "You'll never survive down here like this."

       A nervous whine threatened to leave their throat. They swallowed it down, hands trembling slightly.

       "Get up. I can tell that you're awake."

       Fuck.

       With what minimal strength they did still have, they pushed themselves up using their elbows. Using their hands would only hurt them more. It was difficult to see, but nonetheless, they could see her eyes clearly. Empty, star-shaped irises stared down at them, piercing the very depths of their soul, picking them apart like some kind of subject of a dissection. The utter bite of her gaze caused them to suck in a sharp breath, posture straightening slightly.

       "I've no idea why the Abyss would want someone so... pathetic," she scoffed. "Look at you, resigning to your fate like some kind of lost puppy with its tail between its legs."

       "No, I... That's not..." they stammered, trailing off, hoarse voice quick to die out in the face of her frigid sternness. "I'm not..."

       "Oh? Am I wrong?"

       "No— Yes, I mean, yes, I was... My wrists, they broke when I fell, so... They broke and I don't have anything to fix them with, so I thought resting would be a better idea than running or fighting, and—"

       "Alright, alright, stop. Get up. Follow me."

       She began to walk away.

       "H— huh?"

       "You want to survive, don't you?"

       They scurried after her before they could have any kind of second doubts.

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       The woman introduced herself as Skirk, a seasoned swodswoman with extensive knowledge about the Abyss and how to survive in it. She had been kind enough (well... it was debatable whether her gesture was out of kindness or due to ulterior motives, but they had no other choice but to trust her) to treat their injuries, stiffly wrapping their wrists so that they could heal properly.

       It took about six weeks for them to heal adequately. Within that time, they were surprised to find that they had begun to be able to see through the darkness, as though their eyes had finally adjusted.

       They had hoped she would help them get out when they were fully healed, but...

       No.

       When she asked if they wanted to survive, she sure as hell intended to teach them how to do just that.

       "Slow, uncoordinated, weak," she criticized venomously, swinging her blade down at them with great force. She would undoubtedly kill them if they gave her any chance to. If they made one mistake... "Just how do you think you'll get by in this realm when you can hardly defend yourself?"

       "I— I didn't have to in Teyvat!" they sobbed, tears streaking down their cheeks from both the pain of the several open cuts and bruises blooming on their skin and the pain of being away from home for so long. How long had it been? They had no clue. Their wrists throbbed as they parried her blade with one of their own. "I was the apprentice of a doctor! I was safe there!"

       "Well, you're not safe here. Get used to it," she sneered. "It's kill or be killed down here."

       "I don't want to kill!"

       "Then you'll be killed."

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       "Stop hesitating. Kill it."

       The Abyssal creature at their feet seemed to whimper, trying its best to crawl away from them. It's body was already terribly mangled, limbs broken and twisted in ways they never should have been. Archons know what the eldritch creature even was—they sure as hell had no clue. All they knew was that they felt sorry for it. It looked so small and weak beneath them. 'Pathetic,' a malevolent whisper drifted through their mind, 'it looks pathetic.' With a shake of their head, perhaps in an attempt to rid their mind of such cruel thoughts, cries escaped their throat. Their chest rose and fell in sobbing, labored breaths. All they could hear in their ears was the distinct sound of blood rushing. Their chest ached. Their body ached.

       They wanted to go home.

       "I can't, Skirk, I can't..."

       "You can," she hissed, "and you will."

       "No," they cried harder, "look at it! I can't..."

       "You can," she repeated, though this time with strange serenity, as she stepped behind them; with her hands, she forced their dagger down into the creature's chest, "and you will."

       Blood splattered across their figure as they let out an utterly visceral wail.

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       Soft sobs wracked their figure. The more they tried to suppress their cries, the worse they got.

       Many nights were spent in this manner. It wouldn't be the first night they spent crying themselves to sleep, and it was unlikely to be the last. Was it from the pain? The stress, perhaps? They truly didn't know. The only thing they knew was that they could only fall asleep if they exhausted themselves by crying first.

       They just wanted to go home.

       Then again...

       Would they be accepted back? There was blood on their hands now. Fresh blood of a life that had value just like any other before they so cruelly took it away because in Skirk's words, it was 'kill or be killed.'

       Would they still be viable for Changsheng's contract?

       What if their master was dead by the time they returned?

       What if they never returned?

       Maybe that would be for the better.

       But they wanted to go home regardless.

       Then, the first light they saw in what seemed to be ages graced their empty irises. The light was treasured. Without thinking, they trapped it between their palms like one would to a firefly in the night so that it could not escape them.

       A cool, smooth stone that most definitely wasn't there before now sat between their cupped hands. The rush of cold against their feverish skin prompted them to peer inside the little cage created by their rough hands.

       Inside sat a Cryo vision, still-wet blood smearing over its chilling surface.

       That night, they cried harder than they ever had before, clutching the Cryo Archon's blessing like it was some kind of lifeline.

       Contrary to what they may have believed at the time, the night they got their vision marked the final night they would ever spend crying themselves to sleep in the Abyss.

       That "morning," Skirk would note an evident change in their demeanor.

       That "morning" would mark the point at which the Abyss officially reached the depths of their soul, sucking the last of the light from them and changing them fundamentally.

       That "morning" would mark the point at which they were no longer Changsheng's next contractee.

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       Skirk taught them much in the first seven months of their time in the Abyss.

       The longer they stayed, the warmer she became in her behavior towards them. She vaguely reminded them of their medicinal Master, though she was certainly much tougher than he was. She was not unkind, they had concluded. She was simply hardened. Archons know what she must have been through to be so cold.

       Despite all that, she even did them the kindness of celebrating their birthday.

       "When you do finally get out," she had said to them that day, "you will find that very little time has passed in Teyvat. Don't be surprised. You'll be a year older mentally, but your bodily age will be about the same as it was when you fell."

       "How long has it been since I fell, then?"

       Her reply sent chills up their spine, stomach twisting in sheer disbelief:

       "Seven days."

       Of course, "celebrating" just meant that they got to sleep the day off rather than be relentlessly beat up by the swordswoman. Nonetheless, they appreciated the break.

       Ultimately, they had come to the conclusion that she was much different than what they'd initially assumed.

       They'd taken it upon themselves to patrol around what Skirk considered to be her "territory." They'd chuckled a bit to themselves when she described it in such a way, but said nothing, only offering to patrol in her place for the day as a favor. Allegedly, that was how she encountered them all those months ago.

       They were surprised to find that they, too, encountered a poor victim of the Abyss. It was a boy; if they had to guess, they would say he was somewhere around their age, maybe slightly younger.

       'Is this what Skirk saw when she looked at me? Archons, no wonder she looked like she was going to tear my throat out,' they mused absently, unblinking void eyes staring down at the ginger boy on the floor in front of them. He looked like he wanted to say something but simply couldn't force the words out. 'He really does look like a lost puppy... is that what I looked like?'

       His blue eyes were wide with shock and terror, glossed over with unshed tears. The Abyss was slowly beginning to dim the light in those eyes of his, but hadn't gotten very far yet—they still shone with an innocence they hadn't seen in quite a while, an innocence that didn't belong in a place such as the Abyss. His shaking hands clasped weakly at his foot; that's when they noticed that it was broken.

       Some kind of forgotten instinct suddenly sparked again in their chest at the sight of his wounded ankle. Life... it was a thing they were supposed to protect. That was something they had been taught for as long as they could recall. It was only after falling into the Abyss that they began to stray from those teachings.

       They needed to protect him. He was so fragile, the poor thing.

       Briefly, they wondered what Baizhu, Jiangli, and their Master were doing right about now. Were they worried? They had no way of knowing. They did their best to brush those thoughts off before the homesickness could set in.

       "You're hurt..." they observed, breaking the uneasy silence. "Broke it when you fell, huh? Can you walk, or will I have to carry you?"

       "H— huh? Um..."

       "Right. Got it. Hurry up and get on my back," they instructed, kneeling down with their back facing him so he could climb on with ease.

       "How—" he gasped, withdrawing from them. "How can I trust you?"

       "You'll die if you don't," they stated plainly, glaring back at him. Their gaze sent chills up his spine. It was so... empty. He was sure that not even the most seasoned warrior in his home nation looked so blank. It seemed as if all the light had been sucked from their soul, leaving a hardened shell of what they once were. Even Fatui officials had some kind of light in their face, but they simply did not. It unsettled him. "Get on. Now. You wouldn't last a day out here."

       Though hesitant and utterly terrified, he yielded, reaching up to wrap his arms securely around their neck. They hooked their arms under his thighs and hoisted him up. Then, with a huff, they stood up.

       The silence weighed a little too heavy for the boy's liking. Once the initial terror had worn off, he felt something much warmer bloom in his chest—awe. Absolute, unfettered awe.

       Surely someone as tough as them could help him become more courageous.

       "What's your name?"

       "What, you trying to make conversation? Build rapport? I'm not planning on killing you. Relax," they scoffed. Then, after a brief, awkward silence, they went on, "...It's [Name]."

       "I'm Ajax," he greeted with surprising grit for someone who just fell into the Abyss. "Hey, you're brave, right?"

       "I... I guess?"

       They dared to peek back at him. His eyes shone with light and determination foreign to anything or anyone in the Abyss. It did not belong here. He did not belong here.

       "Teach me how to be brave like that."

       Little did he know that light would disappear soon enough. They simply chose to look away, rather than mourn the loss that was inevitably going to occur.

       "...You'll want to meet my teacher, then. She'll toughen you up."

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       "What is that?"

       Ajax squeaked slightly, to which their lips twitched upwards into the ghost of a vaguely amused smile. Skirk must have unsettled him even more than they did.

       "A boy."

       Skirk's cold eyes narrowed at them. "No shit, [Name]."

       "He fell and broke his ankle, so I brought him here," they elaborated, kneeling down again so he could easily get off their back without hurting himself even more. He gingerly slid off of them. Once he was off, they stood back up, walking over to her. "Anyway, I see why you wanted to rip my head off when you met me. You're totally right. He looked fucking pathetic."

       "Oh, you get it now, hm?" She smirked, placing a firm hand on their shoulder. "Never thought I'd see the day you called someone pathetic."

       They shrugged. "This place changes you, but I suppose I don't have to tell you of all people that." Then, they beckoned her to lean down slightly. When she obliged them, they whispered something inaudible into her ear, occasionally glancing over at Ajax. They eventually withdrew, turning to face him.

       "If it's courage you seek," Skirk said, scrutinizing the boy; he seemed to shrink under her gaze, "you'll indeed find it down here."

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       Ajax’s time in the Abyss was short. They had briefly wondered if they would ever one day run into him on the surface when they did eventually get out. The thought was oddly nice.

       He changed very fast, they recalled. What was once a timid and easily frightened boy had become a hardened weapon of war that sought out bloodshed just for the thrill of it. It fascinated them, really. Why weren’t they like that? They were but a fraction of the beast that he had become. The sensation of being alive certainly gave them a rush, but they hardly reveled in it the way he did.

       Then again, maybe that’s why they could at least hold their own against Skirk.

       That was something he could never truly manage to achieve. Once in a blue moon, the Snezhnayan boy could hold his own against them, but never Skirk. She was on a different level entirely. Now that they really thought about it, however, it seemed very likely that it was because he just wasn’t level-headed in the way they were.

       That brought another question to mind, however: why wasn’t he level-headed like them? Why did he relish in the bloodshed more than they did?

       The only possible explanation was their origins. Being from Chenyu Vale, it was hardly any surprise that one particular ideology was stamped irremovably into their brain.

       Even so…

       It would be unrealistic to expect that they wouldn’t change during their stay in the Abyss. Their exposure to Abyssal energy was insanely long—the fact that they still cared at all about saving lives was shocking.

       Fourteen months into their time in the Abyss, something in their mind snapped.

       They could recall nothing about their episode. All they remembered was that Skirk had them training, as usual, against hordes of Abyssal monsters. It wasn’t something all too challenging for them; they were quite used to her highly demanding training sessions. Just when they started getting slightly overwhelmed, an unfamiliar rage boiled in their chest, and they blacked out.

       When they came to, all they could see was death.

       Blood soaked their clothes and fingertips. They were quick to come to the horrifying realization that it was not theirs. None of the blood was theirs. Not a single drop was theirs. The shallow scratch on their cheek wasn't even deep enough to bleed. They dared not turn around. Their gaze remained locked into the darkness ahead of them, hands trembling and eyes watering.

       Before they could say or do anything, before Skirk could say or do anything, the Abyss spit them out. It simply... decided it was done. As if it had grown bored, or as if it were finally satisfied with the level of corruption in their mind and soul. They lost consciousness briefly, only to awaken exactly where they had gone missing over a year ago.

       …

       Well, over two weeks ago, they guessed. Time dilation was a difficult thing to get used to.

        “Bright… Archons above…” they groaned, pressing their hands over their eyes in an attempt to gradually adjust to the sheer brightness of the surface. It made them a little sick, if they were to be quite honest; they had grown used to the pitch blackness of the other realm. “Gods, it’s bright…”

        “…[Name]?”

       They peeked through their fingers, squinting in the hopes of being able to make out the figure standing a few feet from them. When it finally hit them just who it was, their heart throbbed. The soft green hair they had grown so accustomed to braiding throughout their childhood, now wild and untamed as a terrible consequence of stress and panic, the tender eyes filled with perhaps a little too much wisdom for a child that age…

       They were really back on the surface. It wasn’t just some sick trick of the mind, no.

       They were home.

        “Bai— Baizhu?”

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       He was quick to call for help, leading them back to their shared Master. Jiangli seemed to almost cry when she saw them again—tears of relief or tears of worry, they didn't know. She reminded them of a concerned mother.

       However, something they dreaded terribly had come to pass.

       Their Master discovered that they were in no need of his healing. They were uninjured. All that blood was not theirs. It was never theirs. They were completely unharmed.

       "There isn't a single scratch on you."

       They intentionally avoided his gaze, instead focusing on their hands rested in their lap. Absentmindedly, they noted how calloused and scarred their hands were compared to how soft they had once been. The hands of a healer had become something far more sinister. Changsheng was eerily quiet.

       "...[Name]?"

       "No"—they sniffled, finally meeting their Master’s golden irises filled with tender concern, concern they did not deserve after what they had done—"there isn't."

       The conversation died right then and there.

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       Their departure from Chenyu Vale was sudden and unexpected. Many did not know why they left. All they left behind that could explain why they left was a small envelope for Baizhu, but they honestly didn't know if he would even open it. Leaving him without a single word... it made them want to cry every time they thought about it.

       The goodbyes they said to Jiangli and their Master were tearful, but neither of the two could stop them from leaving after learning that they had suffered so much. After all, what place did a killer have in Chenyu Vale?

        ‘You’re not a killer,’ Jiangli had insisted. ‘You’re not. You belong here, with us.’

       They disagreed with her sentiment. How could she still look at them with such kindness, even after knowing what awful things they had done? Maybe that’s why they left without speaking to Baizhu. Maybe they knew he would have pleaded with them to stay. Maybe they knew they would have stayed if it were he who asked.

       Many of their years were spent wandering Teyvat, but every now and then...

       They'd settle in Snezhnaya to catch up with an old acquaintance of theirs after tracking down his whereabouts.

       "The Fatui, hm? Looks like you really aren't some scared little kid anymore. Shame. You were quite a cute scared little kid."

       They hopped from nation to nation on a whim, picking up knowledge and still studying medicine on the side, though they wouldn't dare call themselves a doctor of any kind. It was Liyue that they often avoided, and if they really couldn't help it, they'd sneak along the border like some kind of internationally wanted criminal. The idea of running into Baizhu would always send their stomach into knots. What would they even say to him? He owed them nothing. He owed them no kind of forgiveness.

       'And yet, despite all that...' they mused, staring vacantly at the sleeping Jiangli at their side, 'here I am. I won't let anything hurt you, even if it means putting myself at risk.'

       Their fingers gently ran through her tangled locks.

       The constant pulsating glow of their Cryo vision was indication enough that, through their own means, they were keeping those terrible god remains at bay. Between the gorgeous icy energy that generated from them, a magenta glow was woven in like some kind of skilled artist's tapestry. It was as beautiful as it was unsettling.

       The Abyss would always be a part of them. They might as well put Skirk's teachings to use.

       "Why do you do such insane things?" they wondered aloud, head tilting back to shift their empty gaze towards the roof of the cavern. "You know that if I destroy those remains, your husband will die, and yet... I followed you nonetheless, knowing I would be at an impasse until someone came to rescue us, knowing I would inevitably cross paths with the one I have fought so hard to avoid. Why are you like this? So irresponsible, but then again... I am no better. I wouldn't be here if I was."

       "Jiangli!"

       "Well... it doesn't matter now," they murmured quietly, gently shaking her shoulder. "Jiangli, wake up. Baizhu and your husband are here. Some others too… I don’t know them though."

       "We found her!... but who's that beside her?"

       Baizhu was oddly silent, watching how they treated her with such tenderness, helping her sit up when she groggily rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Jialiang did not so much as flinch, however—he rushed up to them.

       "[Name]! How is she?! Is she okay?!"

       "Gods, Jialiang—" they hissed, pinching his arm in a soft attempt at scolding him. They vaguely resembled a parent chiding their child, despite the fact that he was older than them. "Don't run like that. You'll keel over dead if you keep that up. She's fine. She was just sleeping, I promise. I ensured her safety."

       "Your ability to stave off the effects of the god remains is rather impressive, [Name]."

       "...It's really not, Baizhu," they opposed quietly, rising to their feet. They dared not meet his eyes, looking anywhere but at him—they would feel an overwhelming sense of guilt if they were to see the evidence of his and Changsheng's contract, the contract that was always meant to be theirs. On top of that… they were certain he could see right through them, see the way they huffed out their breaths in a labored attempt at getting enough oxygen. "Don't try to make conversation. I'm not planning on running away this time. Jiangli probably did this on purpose... she forced my hand. It— look, it doesn’t matter. We'll talk about this, about everything, later."

       He seemed content with that answer—for the time being, at least.

       "Well, that's a first," Changsheng hissed from around the doctor's neck, "now isn't it?"

       "You're getting sassy in your old age, Changsheng," they commented. "Haven't changed a single bit since the last time I saw you, hmm? Sassy old lady~"

       "Hey!"

       "Sorry, wait— Paimon's confused," the floating fairy interrupted. ‘Oh,’ they thought, ‘so that’s who Ajax was talking about.’ "Knowing Baizhu is one thing, but knowing Changsheng is waaaay different! Who are you?"

       "My name is [Name]," they introduced with deceptive calmness that masked the pure, unadulterated panic they were experiencing on the inside. "You may have heard of me through a certain Fatui Harbinger. ‘Codename Childe, but I also go by Tartaglia,’ you know. The ginger with a bunch of cute siblings. Have you met them? They’re the cutest. Anyway, the harbinger has quite the collection of good things to say about you, traveler."

       Aether tensed slightly, shooting Baizhu an odd look, almost as if to ask who he was associating with in his spare time.

       "Relax. I'm not a part of the Fatui," they dismissed with a wave of their hand. "Those people are a bit insane, if you ask me, supporting a deity who hardly seems to care for them or the general population of her nation... Erm. Anyway. I only happen to know Ajax because we were both victims of the same circumstance a while back."

       "What..." Aether trailed off, blinking. Something in the way he looked at them, looked at the blankness in their eyes, said that he already understood. "...What does that mean?"

       "Ask him yourself. Do me a favor, though, and tell me what he says. I'm genuinely curious."

       "Hey!" Paimon cut in with an annoyed huff, stomping her foot like an aggravated toddler. The thought made them smile slightly. "Stop ignoring Paimon! You still didn't answer her question!"

       "[Name] was another one of my Master's disciples, like Jiangli," Baizhu explained on their behalf, briefly glancing in their direction. "Although... I haven't seen them in several years. Like Jiangli, they too ran away."

       "Oh, Gods, Baizhu," they groaned, turning to face him properly for the first time in years. Their breath almost dared to hitch at the golden irises that stared back at them. "Don't be dramatic. Are you telling people I ran away? I didn't run away. I told our Master why I was leaving and when I planned on doing so. It's Jiangli who really didn't tell anyone why she left. I wasn't that secretive about why I left, you know."

       "Nuance."

       They then softened up slightly, running their hand through their hair. A deep sigh left through their nose. "...You really haven't changed at all."

       He seemed to smile a bit at their exasperation. It was only fair, they supposed. They had left him in the dark for years. He deserved to find some amusement in the uncomfortable situation they were both forced into.

       "Well... whatever. We have bigger issues than my past friendships right now," they said, crossing their arms over their chest. "What are we doing about these remains? I have protected Jiangli's body and mind, but only to an extent. She is infected and it will continue to worsen if we do nothing. However, if we destroy these remains..."

       "Indeed..." Baizhu murmured, turning to the man in question. "If we destroy these remains, your life will come to an end."

       "If you knew what she was doing," Aether cut in, "why didn't you stop her?"

       "You cannot stop a woman like that once she has her heart set on something. All I could do was watch from the background until she put herself in too much danger, to the point where I'd have to defend her," they sighed, "such as what she did here."

       Jialiang looked between them and Baizhu. "...I had wondered when this day might come."

       Jiangli was silent.

       "We've been working our butts off to save Jialiang's life!" Paimon shouted. "We can't just give up on him now! Baizhu, you're a great doctor. Surely you've gotta know of some other way we can save him, right? Or— [Name]! If you studied with Baizhu, you should know a few things too, right?"

       "Sure. I still remember some things from that time," they replied, tilting their head back a bit so they could gaze at Jiangli's husband. "Jialiang could continue taking the poison. Jiangli is... in decent condition overall, so it wouldn't be the end of the world to delay the destruction of the remains, but she will fall more ill as time goes on. Either way, someone will die if we don't do something."

       "[Name], you've been watching Jiangli," Jialiang stated, standing up to meet their eyes. "How long does she have?"

       "If she completely stopped coming here..." they mused thoughtfully, "a few weeks at most would be my guess. You'd probably get a more precise answer from Baizhu, though."

       "I would say that is accurate," Baizhu agreed, nodding. "I could... extend that time, however, if I were to treat her using a secret art."

       "You..." They wanted to scold him, chide him for even suggesting such a thing, but in the end, they did not. It would make them a hypocrite. They simply bit their tongue. Jiangli watched closely with a gentle gaze comparable to that of an aunt or a mother as the various emotions flickered across their expression.

       "...But what would be the point of that?" Jialiang lamented. "Dr. Baizhu, I am all too aware of the dangers of god remains. You are not the first to mention it to me. [Name] often warned me, but... I did not listen. If I continue to sustain my own life using this wretched substance, then not only would Jiangli have to keep risking her life to make my medicine for me, but I would have to live with the looming threat of these remains breaking out and wreaking havoc not just upon me, but my entire family. I know for a fact that I should have died over a decade ago. The fact that I've been around to see Ayu grow up is already a great blessing from Rex Lapis. If my choice can keep Jiangli alive, then... even if I die..."

       "Jialiang..." Paimon trailed off.

       The man chuckled sadly. "After cheating death for so long, it seems I've grown somewhat addicted to life."

       "Life is a terrible drug for those of us who often come face-to-face with death," they admitted, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Take a minute to talk with Jiangli. We'll wait."

       "Thank you..." he said, kneeling down at his tired wife's side, "I'm sorry that I won't be able to repay your kindness in this life."

       "Jialiang...” Paimon cried, wiping her face with her little balled up hands. “Baizhu, Changsheng, [Name], is there really nothing else any of you can do?"

       "Cheating death is beyond my ability," they answered apologetically. "I know much of arts that are... beyond this world, but they are not used for preserving nor extending life. I wish I could do more, but I can’t. My apologies."

       "I am sure that over the years, Jiangli will have tried all the conventional methods known to humankind. As for the less conventional methods, I have little expertise besides Changsheng's secret art..."

       Aether's gaze flickered between them and Baizhu as he said that, before settling back on the Liyuean doctor. "...They're aware of it?"

       "Try to avoid treating me like an outsider," they half-scolded. "Believe it or not, I was meant to be bound to Changsheng. Fate had different plans, however, so yes. I am very much aware. Even through the medium, that being Changsheng, none of Baizhu's predecessors could manage to cheat death."

       "Mortals are fated to grow old and pass on when their natural lifespan runs out," the snake mused. "If it were so easy to combat the natural processes of aging and death, Jiangli would not have had to resort to unnatural methods."

       Paimon sniffled. "What a crazy situation... Jiangli risked it all to save Jialiang's life, and now, Jialiang has to sacrifice himself to save Jiangli. What's the point of it all..?"

       "Love, I have heard, tends to make people do insane things," they stated. "It's quite tragic, really."

       The traveler nodded. "All we can do now is honor Jialiang's decision and bear witness."

       "...I've seen many final farewells in my time," Baizhu commented softly, quietly, "but I can never get used to it."

       "In the human realm, all things must come to an end. Is it not a fitting end to die for a worthy cause? At least... that's what generations of Masters before you always believed."

       They wondered if Changsheng was somehow trying to be reassuring.

       "The path they chose was indeed a heroic one," Baizhu agreed, "but when I think of those who would willingly sacrifice themselves for others... I cannot help but think that theirs are the lives least deserving of death."

       The quiet whispers shared between the couple gradually died down. It was then that Jialiang stood up.

       "I've said my goodbyes. My time has come. Do what you must."

       "As you wish."

       "We have not been in contact for years," they spoke up, stepping forward and raising their hand, "but I know you well enough to know that a man dying indirectly by your own hand will weigh on your mind. I will take care of this. Stand down, Baizhu."

       The doctor seemed momentarily stunned, but he nodded nonetheless, backing off. "...Very well, [Name]."

       With a chilling wind and a flick of their wrist, the god remains dissipated with a hiss.

       It wasn't very long until Jialiang collapsed.

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       "Jialiang..! Jialiang!"

       The man shot up with a gasp, instinctively clutching at his chest.

       "Dad! Are you awake?!"

       "Jiangli..? Ayu? Didn't I..." Jialiang trailed off, gaze drifting to the seals stuck on his skin. "Huh? What are these?"

       Changsheng’s voice drew his attention. "How does it feel to come back to life?"

       "Do you feel strange or different in any way?" Baizhu questioned, walking to his bediside. "If so, could you describe it to me in detail?"

       "Dr. Baizhu! I thought I was going to..."

       "Die? You did, actually," they stated, gently holding his arm, carefully inspecting the sigils as to not disrupt the delicate imitation of immortality that the doctor had created. "To think this is what Baizhu's been doing in my absence... absolutely fascinating. Sorry, Jialiang, do you mind? I'll back off if it's uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to tell me.”

       Jiangli giggled at her husband's look of sheer confusion.

       "Uh... no, you're— you're okay..? Go ahead."

       Baizhu's lips quirked up at the sight of their enthusiasm. He said nothing of it, though. "As things stand now, you're more akin to a zombie than a human."

       "...I'm a zombie?!"

       "That's right. Before we set off, I asked Qiqi to prepare and Elixir of Immortality. With its help, you have been suspended in the space between life and death. Of course, this is but a crude imitation of an adeptus art. I don't expect it to extend your life indefinitely. Whether it will keep you alive for a few days, a few months, or a few years...” Baizhu mused, “I am as interested as you to find out, but however long you have left, I believe it should be more than sufficient time for you to say your final goodbyes before departing the world in peace. ...I hope Director Hu finds this arrangement to be a satisfactory one?"

       "An Elixir of Immortality? How'd you cook that up? Ugh," the girl in question groaned, "leave it to you to work on something like that behind my back..."

       "It's a work in progress that hardly lives up to its name, and it would've had no effect if not for Jialiang's iron will." Baizhu shifted, crossing his arms over his chest. "In the end, I am merely a doctor. I understand very little about the great principles governing life and death, and the perpetual cycle of yin and yang. All I know is that if I am presented with a life that deserves to be saved, I will do everything within my power to save it. Even this would have counted for nothing if not for Director Hu's assistance... after all, did you not tell Jialiang to show us the way before we set off for Qingce Village?"

       "Oops! Aaaand, I'm busted..."

       "Without Director Hu nudging things in the right direction, we may not have found Jiangli and [Name] in time. They could only hold those remains off for so long."

       "It wouldn't have meant anything if not for your friend over there," she pointed out. "They nudged me first."

       "I did," they conceded, finally backing away from Jialiang after finishing their investigation of his sigils. "What of it? I was worried about Jialiang and Jiangli. I told Director Hu who I was and where I was headed after eavesdropping, and then she nudged Jialiang in that direction. It's not that serious."

       "Eavesdropping is kind of serious!" Paimon exclaimed, shooting them an odd look.

       "Fair point, but it's not like I was eavesdropping on someone I've never met. What could Baizhu have said to you that I wouldn't have already known? Absolutely nothing.”

       "I knew there were people listening in on our conversation back then," Aether murmured. "To think it was you two..."

       "No wonder he didn't mention the Elixir back then," Director Hu muttered to herself. "I thought he was being frank and transparent with me for once, but apparently not."

       Jialiang cleared his throat, laughing a bit. "Director Hu told me to keep her suggestion a secret, and [Name] had told Jiangli and I a while ago to keep it a secret that they were in Liyue, but it seems nothing escapes Dr. Baizhu's attention..."

       "Never underestimate a serpent's sense of smell!" Changsheng hissed, almost seeming to be proud.

       "All I wanted was to help Jialiang find his missing wife as soon as possible, so that he could be on his way to the afterlife without any unfulfilled wishes making the journey more difficult than it needs to be..." Hu Tao sighed. "Leave it to Bubu Pharmacy to snatch the perfect opportunity right outta my hands at the last hurdle! Never mind, I'll just have to put it down in the books as a deferred consideration... one Qiqi was enough of a conundrum; the last thing I need's another one. If I'd known this was coming, I would have whisked him off to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor the moment I found him."

       "Y— you stay away from my dad! When I grow up, I'm gonna become a better doctor than Mom and Baizhu, and cure Dad for good!" Ayu declared, making them chuckle into their hand. They ruffled his brown hair fondly. "A— and [Name]! Better than [Name] too!"

       "I don't really practice medicine anymore, honey. I definitely don't count as a doctor. You'd outdo me within a week."

       Jiangli grinned at them, teasing, "I don't know, [Name]. For someone who 'doesn't practice medicine anymore,' you still act as if you do. You seem very fascinated with Baizhu's imitation of immortality on a very deep level.”

       "Old habits die hard," they simply answered. "What can I say?”

       "Oh? Is that so?" Hu Tao chimed, turning to Ayu. "Well, you wouldn't be the first person who's tried to put Wangsheng Funeral Parlor out of business. If you're serious about it, you'll have your work cut out for you."

       Just like that, she turned on her heel and left.

       "Phew... is she finally gone?" Qiqi peeked out from her hiding spot. Upon seeing them, and noting that Hu Tao was gone, she ran over to them, presenting them with a silk flower. "I meant to give it to you earlier... because it's pretty, like you... but I forgot..."

       Their face turned serious as they faced the Liyuean doctor. "Baizhu."

       "Hm?"

       "I'm keeping her. She's mine now. This is my child now."

       Both Baizhu and Jiangli chuckled at how purely enamored they were with her, kneeling down so Qiqi could tuck the flower behind their ear. They cooed over her sweetness, patting her head lovingly. Ayu almost seemed a little jealous of the attention they showered her in.

       "All's well that ends well!" Paimon chimed, turning to Aether. "If you ask Paimon, we should probably go do something to celebrate this heard-earned family reunion..."

       "Paimon's idea of a celebration can only mean one thing..."

       "Hehe! At times like this, a grand celebratory feast is in order!"

       Jialiang chuckled, "It feels like it was a whole lifetime ago when I last talked with Jiangli and Ayu around the dinner table."

       "Rightfully so," they said, "you've been through a lot."

       Aether nodded. "This was a hard-earned meal."

       "Yaaay~! Paimon can't wait! Alright, first thing's first—off to the market for some fresh ingredients! Let's go~!"

       "Wait up!" Ayu shouted, running after them. "I'll come too!"

       "Baizhu, thank you so, so much for everything you've done for us..." Jiangli thanked, then turning to place a hand on their shoulder as many had done before her. "And [Name], I would not be as well as I am now if not for you. You've been standoffish for the past decade, but I know you still care. For all of us."

       "Ah... I wasn't trying to come off as cold. Things just got tough for me after that incident. I never want you guys to feel like I don't care, you know..."

       "Don't mention it, Jiangli," Baizhu reassured. "I was just doing my duty."

       "Just your duty, huh..." she mused wistfully. "Baizhu, Changsheng, [Name], would you mind if we took this conversation outside?"

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       "Time flies. It's been so long since we've been together like this... Changsheng, you're the same as ever," Jiangli laughed. "You haven't changed one bit!"

       "That's literally what I said to her, too," they exclaimed. "See, I knew I was right! Some things just don't change, hm?"

       "...You two, on the other hand, have changed a lot," Changsheng replied, a thoughtful lilt to her tone. She certainly knew more than what she was letting on.

       "You're right," Jiangli admitted. "My younger self would have never imagined that things would one day turn out this way."

       "I doubt that any of us imagined our lives would turn out this way," they added. "I mean, really... our time in Chenyu Vale seems so far gone now, doesn’t it?”

       “It really does,” the woman agreed.

       The evening light bathed their face in yellow-orange light; it wasn't quite late enough yet for the light to take on a more golden hue, but it was beautiful nonetheless. Even after all the horrors they had witnessed, they still had the capacity to recognize beauty.

       "Liyue's so pretty at this time, isn't it?" they wondered aloud.

       "You always did think so," Baizhu replied. "That much hasn't changed."

       An oddly comfortable silence settled for but a few short moments as the small group descended the last of the stairs that led to Bubu Pharmacy. Jiangli was the first to break it:

        “I’ve taken a look at your Elixir of Immortality, Baizhu, as has [Name]. It isn’t altogether dissimilar from the poison I concocted in terms of the way it functions.”

        “I have to say, Jiangli, it was a stroke of genius to use poison to maintain life. I hope you’re not too upset at me for… copying your methods?”

        “No, not at all. With your intellect, even if you’d never seen my poison, I believe you would have eventually arrived at the same approach, but I’m still impressed by how quickly you gained such a thorough understanding of it. Jialiang’s still only been in your care for a few days. Not just that—you even managed to improve upon the original formula. That cannot be explained by intellect alone…”

        “Ten mora says he tried it out on himself.”

        “Ha!” Changsheng laughed. “Told you the truth would come out sooner or later.”

        “Knew it,” they hummed. “Life force has never been the only thing Changsheng’s contract allows her contractees to transfer. I know simply because I used to catch our master doing things like that all the time.”

        “Baizhu…” Jiangli trailed off.

        “…Nothing gets past you two. Yes, Changsheng’s secret art also allows for the transfer of toxins and diseases. When I treated Jialiang for the second time, I transferred some of the poison from his body onto my own. Not only did this allow me to alleviate the burden on him, but it also gave me an opportunity to study its properties. There is no need to worry about any long-term consequences to my health, however. Now that the source has been destroyed, any remaining poison in me will have already dissipated.”

        “But you took such a huge risk,” Jiangli opposed. “If we hadn’t destroyed the gods’ remains back there, then even you might have…” She then sighed. “What am I saying? I’m in no position to criticize you for this, and if [Name] knew… it’s no wonder why they were adamant on destroying the remains themselves.”

       They nodded. “I had to be sure they would be gone. Believe me, whatever was there before… it is not there now and will never be there again.”

        “Leave it to you to see through us all, even from such a distance,” she said with a fond, wistful smile. She turned back to Baizhu. “The reason I left our Master and went into hiding all those years ago was that he was getting old, and I didn’t want him using up any more of his own life force to treat my husband, but in the end… how were my methods any different than his? I risked one life to save another, and then you tried the poison on yourself, too… It looks like both of us have ended up going the same way as out master before us. As for [Name]… heh, they’re hardly any better.”

       Baizhu seemed intrigued by her statement. “How so?”

        “[Name], why don’t you tell Baizhu how you absorbed the majority of that gods’ remains to keep them from getting to me?”

        “It’s different,” they insisted, gaze shifting towards the golden sky. "I mean, I did do that, yes—that’s not what I’m denying. You two do it because if there is a life in front of you deserving of being saved, you save it, and… ten years ago, I would have done it solely for the same reasons. Now, though… It’s different. That incident changed me, Jiangli. I do it because I get a rush from surviving things like that.”

        “Nonetheless, your intentions towards others are still good,” Jiangli said, gently squeezing their upper arm. “Would you have done it if you didn’t care? If you weren’t scared for my life? You said it yourself. You were worried about my husband and I. You put yourself in a situation you knew would inevitably lead to you and Baizhu meeting again. You put yourself at risk, and that is what really makes me wonder: are all disciples of Chenyu Vale destined to turn out this way? To live a short life, having given away our own for the sake of others? To fight relentlessly against the natural course of life and death, whatever the cost? …Maybe our fate is sealed the moment we decide to study medicine.”

        “We are doctors, Jiangli. We ought never say that anyone’s fate is sealed.”

        “Baizhu, I can tell that over the years, you’ve used the contract with Changsheng to transfer many diseases and toxins onto yourself. There are so many, that some of them I don’t even recognize… can you still stop it before it’s too late?”

        “Don’t fool yourself. We all know the answer to that question, Jiangli,” they interrupted, “and we all know it’s a very honest no. All disciples of Chneyu Vale believe in the same core principle. Don’t be a hypocrite.”

        “Heey~!” Paimon shouted, waving the group over. “Food’s ready!”

        “Mom!” Ayu exclaimed excitedly, running up to the woman. “Come and join us! Aether taught me a load of new recipes and said even Dad’ll be able to taste them! Come and try them out!”

        “Yes, darling, mom’ll be there in just a minute… Hey, slow down!” she exclaimed, chasing after her child. She stopped briefly, turning back to face them and Baizhu. “Baizhu, I know I won’t be able to convince you, but… please don’t forget that, if one day, you’re not around anymore… Qiqi, Gui, and all the friends that have grown fond of you, they will all miss you dearly.”

        “There’s no need to worry, Jiangli. I know what I’m doing.”

        “…I can only hope so,” she sighed, “and [Name]? I believe you know where this conversation needs to go. I was honest about why I left. It’s your turn now.”

       She walked off after her son.

       A silence settled in her absence. This time, however, it was tense.

       Then, Baizhu seemed to search his pockets for something. His face brightened slightly when he found it: a small envelope yellowed with age. He handed it over to them.

       "You... never opened it?" they wondered softly, holding the letter they'd written all those years ago with such delicacy that they weren't even aware they were capable of anymore.

       "I wanted to hear the explanation from you."

       "This was from me," they tried to counter.

       "[Name]."

       "Yeah, yeah... I get it. You wanted to hear it from me directly. I know," they sighed, leaning back against the railing, fidgeting with the paper envelope help in their hands. "It really isn't a pretty story, but if anyone deserves to know... I suppose it's you. I’m surprised Changsheng didn’t tell you already, given how inclined she is to gossiping—”

        “Hey!”

        “—Just... please. Do me a favor and try not to look at me too differently after you hear it."

       Baizhu reached out to their shoulder, giving it a tender squeeze. "I just want to know why you left so abruptly. We were so close. There is nothing you could say or do that would make me resent you."

       They smiled bitterly. "We'll see about that."

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       For the first time in a very long time, they spoke to Baizhu.

       Not superficially, not as distant professionals, but as friends. It was a moment of honest vulnerability that truly frightened them. They hadn't been that vulnerable since before their fall.

       The silence weighed heavily on their chest as they gazed anywhere but at their former friend. Somehow, the anticipation for his response was far more suffocating than any other in the past—even the anticipation for their Master's response was never this heavy.

       Then, the Liyuean doctor reached out, gingerly tugging them towards his figure. His arms settled comfortably around their waist.

       The weak beating of his heart and the wheezing breaths he took prompted them to sob. The sound they let out was overwhelmingly heartbreaking; it was somehow even worse than the cry they had let out upon taking that first life all those years ago in the Abyss. All the pain they suppressed for all the years they hid from their home, their friends... it all came flooding out at once.

       "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

       "You went through all of that," Baizhu whispered, his voice meant only for them (and Changsheng by default…) to hear as a hand ran soothingly through their hair, "and you truly believed we would hold that against you?"

       "Yes!" they wept. Archons... they hadn't felt this pathetic since their initial descent into the Abyss. "Gods, Baizhu, of course I thought you all would hold it against me! I was supposed to be Changsheng's next contractee! It was never supposed to be you! I didn't want it to be you!"

       "I know."

       "It's not fair! You— you're here giving away your life force, and you're going to die young, and it's going to be my fault! I should have done something differently! Maybe then we wouldn't be in this situation!"

       "It's not your fault."

       "It is!"

       "It's not."

       "You're suffering because of me!"

       "[Name]."

       "I only ever do bad things to you," they sobbed. "Why do you still want to forgive me? Why are you wasting your time comforting me? You should just move on. You're better off without me."

       "Stay in Liyue."

       "H— huh?" they sniffled. "What? No, I... No!”

        “Stay, [Name]. Please.”

        “No! Why do you even want me to stay here?! You should hate me! You should—”

        “You’re reckless with your own life. Do you really think I don’t see it? You claim to get a rush from being alive, but… I do not believe that is the only thing you seek out by putting yourself at risk. Mentally well people don’t behave this way. Let me help you. Please."

        ‘No shit,’ they wanted to say, ‘I haven’t been well since that day.’

        “Are you saying you don’t trust me to be on my own?”

        “I am.”

       Their throat closed. They squeezed their eyes shut.

       He was right, much as they hated it.

        “…Fucking hypocrite.”

       "That may be so.” He smiled ruefully. “If that isn’t good enough of a reason, then… I’m asking you to stay because I want you to stay, [Name]. Stay with me for a little while." His eyes were filled with a gentleness that they wholeheartedly believed should not have been directed at them. "We still get along, don't we? Though you may have changed, I genuinely find it hard to believe anything about us has changed, so stay. Let's get to know each other again, hm?"

       They blinked. Once, twice. Tears pricked at their eyelashes.

       "...Okay."

       They still failed to part from Baizhu, but he didn't seem to mind, only resuming his motions of brushing his fingers through their hair.

       "Qiqi quite likes your company, too."

       "Yes..." they murmured. "Um, a lot of kids seem to, you know... Ayu, my other friend's siblings... I don't really get it, but they, um, they all seem to like me."

       For what was the first time in decades, they felt truly at peace. They'd often engage in meaningless conversation under the sunset's light with Baizhu in their youth, gathering herbs and the like for their shared Master. To do something so similar once again...

       It soothed the beast their soul had become. 

       The sunset's light, however, did not dance in their eyes as it once had.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot! taglist: @zeldadou, @ophelium-flowers, @aikitsuki.

[gennabi]

FROM THE UNUSUAL(ISH) ASKS <33333:

1, 4, 6, 10, 11, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18, 20, 23, 25, 27, 32, 34, 38 and finally, 39!

ANSWER. THEM. JULY. ANSWER. THEM.

XxX pls & thanks XxX

- MBA 🥦

IM ANSWERING. IM ANSWERINGGGGGG.

warning, very very long.

1. who’s your celebrity crush?

i have LOTS lmaoo but right now , it's my girlfren lesserafim's sakura !! and we also have the always and forever my boo; chanmina !! and and taehyun and beomgyu from txt hehe

4. do you think its ok to separate the artist from the art?

OOOOH actually i've thought about this for a long time because it's quite... gray? and initially, my response would be "NO. WTF. THE ARTIST IS HORRIBLE." and i still somewhat stand by that. but then again, it's not like you can't compliment their works AT ALL. (which again, i've thought like that too at first). when it comes down to it , liking their works and supporting them are two different things. but then again, the arts and entertainment industry as a whole is filled with fucked up assholes who produce ethereal works. so, my answer in the end is yes. and no. yes because there's ways you can experience the art without directly profitting the artist or you just can't be that bothered to know every single artists' history and issues which is woo valid. and also no, because especially for arts, to make something out of nothing, is to produce with what you have and it's mostly coming from within, from a place of not so good intentions. and it's also bad because they're praised / walking around freely with a list of immoral actions trailing behind their back all because people put them on a pedestal and "but they're so good at what they're doing!!" while the ppl impacted by said actions were shunned

6. how many pairs of shoes do you have?

six shoes for the sixth question !! lolz . the dream is to have a shoe collection hehe my favourite one is my black heels because.. because... heels... pretty... pretty heels... pretty...

10. name a dog

the first that came to mind was mr chew from penguins of madagascar LMAOOO

11. what unusual talent do you have?

not sure if it's a talent but i have clairaudience if that counts? also i'm usually very calm during high tension situations (which then made me became the person assigned to rude customers during my part time job lmaoo) but downside is i get tensed in "normal/low tension situations" aha i still dont know exactly how that works

13. ever prank called a store?

i wishhhhhh i did but i'd feel too bad for it. i did prank called the police though (dont follow this, kids) but like that was when i was a.. well, kid.

15. what’s a question do you constantly get asked?

there's nothg in particular but it always surrounds fashion and the ol' "do you have a boyfriend?" because if you're happy and are always present in cute outfits, it must be because you have someone romantic. and apparently that's everyone's goal. /s

16. if you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?

this panel right here.

left inner thigh, slightly to the front and closer to the knee. not very beginner friendly and i might accidentally kick the artist because tickles tickles but hayakawa family is worth it.

17. google the top song from the year you were born

foolish - ashanti. niceeeee ill give it a go later

18. rant about your favorite musician

wanted to rant about the loml tomorrow x together but for today, ill talk about cigarettes after sex. idk their personality and cant be bothered to be interested in their life so ill talk abt the music hweeeeee. their music gives a very "come home and get yourself warm" and it always soothes me. when i feel a little lost and overwhelmed, putting their songs makes my heart at ease. like a very tight hug. like a blanket is draped around my shoulder and my face is cradled gently as the universe whisper to me, "it's okay, little child." it'd be VERY nice to slow dance to the songs too but idk how to slow dance in the first place so aha. and with that said, my fav song of theirs rn is "k - cigarettes after sex".

20. describe your blog in 3-5 words

requests shipped in 3 months. (or more. im sorry.)

23. if you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

to actually listen to my body. :)

25. what’s something you can’t stop buying?

this is so funny because im actually experiencing that rn which is rare bcs im careful w where my money goes. but last week was filled with hot roasted milk tea from tealive. in general though.. not exactly buy but i can spend hours looking around furnitures stores # ikea the light of my life . on a second thought , books / comics which ended up not being read </33

27. how long before a trip do you pack?

the night before. i pack fairly fast but if i pack on morning of the day, i wont get to be slow and enjoy my time hhgh so i always settle w the night before.

32. how old do you get mistaken for?

it's actually really bad. sometimes can be good. but ive had people thinking im four or five years younger than i am. but now that im in uni, ppl mistake me for being one or two years older but that's only because that's the average age of people taking the course. though outside uni, around my age but i think thats mostly because i drive a car lmao

34. do you like your hogwarts house or do you wish you were a different one?

i loathed it at first. and then i just sort of accepted it?? AHAH. because i also cant think of other house i am except the one im assigned to. and your boo is from gryffindor <3

38. post a picture of the outfit you would choose if you could have any outfit you wanted

i want to try every single style there is but im particularly drawn to thgs like these

39. describe your aesthetic

i don't have one... anythg that feels like a hug to me is my aesthetic? if that makes sense. fashion wise, it really depends on what i feel atm (no fixed style in mind) but in general, smtg a bit like these <33

BWAH IM FINALLY DONE UWAA that was SOOO NICE but felt like it took forever HWJAJAA THANK YOU FOR THE ASKS ANON heart eyes heart eyes

[snowdice]

Answering Asks Until the Labeled Sequel is Rewritten

What is this?

I am officially moving into the rewrite stage of the Labeled Sequel tonight. I’m not proofreading which I would use the proofreading story for. This is much more involved and I don’t want to stop every 20 minutes and write stuff in a different universe. That would mess me up. Instead, I plan to answer an ask from this ask game every time I write 500 words. There isn’t really a time restraint. The goal is to answer 1-5 asks a day which would take half a month to edit, but I am still ill and working on a dissertation, so I’m going to estimate a month.

What are the rules?

Simple! Select one thing from each category and send them as an ask. I will answer them in the order they come in, except when multiple from one person comes through. I will bump those to the bottom of the list so everyone who asks gets at least one answered in a (relatively) timely manner. That being said, I strong encourage you to send more than one! (pls) If I end up with too many... well... I also have to proofread after this. If I don’t end up with enough, I’ll just random number generate at every 500 words.

Note: All of these asks will be in reference to the Labeled Universe.

Notex2: There is a random question option as option Z if you don’t want to read all of the questions.

Categories:

Character:

1. Logan

2. Patton

3. Virgil

4. Roman

5. Remus

6. Janus

7. Remy

8. Emile

9. Other (Please include a name of a character who exists in this universe, yes cats count)

10. Unknown character (I pick a random not yet introduced character in the universe)

Question:

A. What is (character)’s go to pizza topping?

B. How often does (character) daydream and what do they daydream about?

C. Tell me something about (character)’s parents.

D. What is (character)’s dream vacation?

E. If (character) got to choose the method of their own death whenever that comes, what would they choose?

F. Post a mood board for (character).

G. How does (character) feel about large parties?

H. Did/does your (character) want kids?

I. Post a picture of (character)’s favorite animal.

J. What is (character)’s preferred way to stay in contact with people? (Email, text, phone calls, ect.)

K. What did (character) put as their yearbook senior quote?

L. Which parent/parental figure did (character) have a better relationship with?

M. Post (character)’s favorite meme.

N. What color was (character)’s childhood bedroom walls?

O. On a scale of 1-10, how much does (character) care about what other people think of them?

P. What is (character)’s most vivid childhood memory?

Q. Post a picture of (character)’s ideal chair to sit on.

R. What does (character) typically drink with breakfast?

S. Has (character) had their first kiss? Who was it?

T. Post a picture of (character)’s ideal hot drink.

U. If (character) could guarantee one thing about the world once they are gone, what would it be?

V. If (character) had a choice to go to a concert, a play, or a sporting event, which would they choose?

W. Does (character) trust easily.

X. What does (character) do when they are sad?

Y. Random generate a word. Give (character)’s opinion on the result.

Z. IDK. You pick.

Status Effect (optional)

Cliffnotes: Answer in 20 words or under

Mute: Answer only in pictures

Inversion: Answer with a lie

Theme song: Also post a YouTube video that accompanies the answer

Blind: Respond with a voice recording

Interview: Write the answer as though it is another character asking. Provide the second character’s response. (You can send a character here or have me choose.)

[blxetsi]

Hi! Can I please request modern au hcs for Armin?

tysm for requesting !!

modern armin arlert dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!armin arlert x gn!reader

- okay so

- i think in a college setting you and armin hit it off really well

- i think you guys wouldve just accidentally kept bumping into each other, whether it be around campus, at some coffee shop, in the library

- it gets so frequent you dont even know if its a coincidence at this point, yet you cant help but hope that you seem him whenever you go out

- after ALWAYS bumping into each other and apologizing before making small talk, armin makes the first move

- mf just says "are you following me ?" to which you reply "are YOU following me ?"

- that night ends in you two exchanging numbers 🤩

- you find out that hes a humanities major, and wants to be a psychologist some day

- you also find out he has a paid internship at a research facility near the university you attend

- hes super sweet but also super humble, so he tries not to keep the subject on himself for very long, just wanting to know more about you

- as you two get closer he gets more touchy (not in a weird way)

- he starts greeting you with hugs now, and likes to have a light grip on your wrist when hes leading you through crowded hallways of the school

- he introduced you to his bestfriends and roommates, mikasa and eren, and they were really accepting !! (they already could tell armin liked you even if he didnt know himself)

- you start developing feelings for him about two months after you exchanged numbers, and you honestly felt really weird

- because this beautiful boy whos so sweet and kind and intelligent is like,, wayyyy out of your league

- armin thinks the exact same thing

- he thinks youre so cool and fun to be around, you always have the best stories to tell and are so welcoming,, its HARD not to fall for someone like you !!

- finally he gets up the courage to ask if you can come to his apartment

- and there he confesses 😳💥‼️

- you sit there shocked for a couple seconds too long because now hes freaking out like "im so sorry i didnt wanna seem creepy i just wanted to tell you how i felt you can leave or i can walk you home- wait you probably wouldnt want that but-"

- you just kind of grab his shoulders and start shaking him. before you tell him you like him too.

- the apples of his cheeks turn pink before he smiles and gives you such a tight hug !!

- hes immediately planning a date with you for when youre both free

- takes you to the local aquarium 🤩 and kisses you in front of the moon jellies (u know those big tanks with the jellyfish that are like glow in the dark ?? and the whole hallway is pitch black except for the lights from the tank ?? yeah ❤️ he kissed you THERE and it was beautiful)

- has chapped lips 😐 sorry i dont make the rules

- has a habit of picking them when hes working or lost in thought

- doesnt mean you stop kissing him tho

- is the kind of guy that will genuinely get worried if you send an "sos" type message. gets out of his own class just to speedwalk (he isnt gonna break the rules and run in the halls 🙄) and come to your class just to see if youre okay

- looks at you like 😐 when you explain you just need him to get you an iced coffee from that shitty coffee place in the cafeteria

- does it anyway even though hes annoyed 😌✨

- will grumble about paying him back for the five dollars he just spent on you while you kiss him over and over again in thanks

- doesnt let you pay him back though smh 🙄

- loves to give back hugs

- will do it while youre working, or while youre doing the dishes

- if youre shorter than him he'll rest his head on your and just smell your hair

- if youre taller than him hes shoving his face inbetween your shoulder blades

- is such a lightweight drunk its not even funny

- none of his friends are tbh 🙄

- the first time you saw him drunk was when eren dragged you guys out to a party their friend was hosting (literally interrupted your cuddle time in armins bed to THROW OFF THE BLANKETS and say "you guys are coming with me 😁👍" and when you two said no he TURNED ON THE LIGHTS and ruined the vibe 😐 fucking asshole)

- anyways you two had to change back into your clothes at 9pm just to go to a shitty party that was gonna get busted by the cops anyways 😔💔

- you couldnt find him through the sea of people, and u got really worried until armin called you

- it was not armin on the other line 😁👍

- he said his name was reiner ?? and he said he was with armin bc he puked while playing beer pong

- the guy tells you where they are and you go to find them. theyre sitting on this couch in a backroom and theres only like,, five people in total there ??

- armin is SOBBING while reiner is trying to get him to drink water

- "reiner you dont get it,,, theyre so beautiful. i cant compete. i dont even think theyd wanna be with me. and you have to see them talk about their major. theyre so smart you dont understand." "okay buddy lets just finish this water okay ?"

- armin is leaning his shoulder on this GIANT of a man just going on about how much he loves you and how amazing he finds you. until you tap his shoulder. and then he realizes youve been listening this entire time. and then he starts crying because he doesnt want you to find him weird. and then you have to explain to him that you two are dating. where he doesnt believe you still.

- eren ends up giving you the keys to his car and saying "ill just call you when i need a ride back" and reiner CARRIES armin to the car 😭😭😭

- hes a real gentleman 😁👍

- that morning armin remembers EVERYTHING and is MORTIFIED

- calls reiner immediately like "did people see me puke ? oh god am i gonna be talked about ?"

- has very vivid dreams and remembers all of them ?? will literally tell you about a dream he had when he was five and WILL NOT forget a detail. its weird

- his family actually doesnt seem like they like you 😳 not because they dont theyre just very,, quiet people...... except for his grandfather

- doesnt even care who you are to armin, will pull you down on the couch with him to tell you about all his research and findings as an archeologist (before he retired)

- if youre ever feeling sad about anything, whether that be stress, family problems, or body image issues, armins taking you to his place 😁👍

- he'll cuddle you and whisper how much he loves you while you two are watching something on his laptop

- has acne scars on his shoulders. dont make fun of him for it pls

- loves getting back scratches though, the tingles make him feel really calm

- if you have like,, makeup brushes and stuff he likes it when you brush his face with them, no product or anything but the tingles he gets from it 🤤

- over time his parents warm up to you quiet a bit, and when his mom shows you baby photos and from him as a kid youre SHOCKED.

- he had this little bob cut from when he was ten to his teens 🥺🥺🥺🥺

- when you two are walking back home or wherever you cant help but go on about how cute he was and how healthy and pretty his hair looked (not that its not healthy or pretty now) and he just giggles before pulling you into his side and kissing your cheek while saying "okay baby, ill grow it out just for you then"

- also loves the petnames baby, angel, and love

- will gladly let you steal his sweaters. has a really nice knit one that his grandma made him before she died. that ones off limits.

- doesnt like to fight, but when he feels like hes in the right he wont hesitate to yell back when youre yelling at him

- just dont yell at him pls, it makes him sad

- it takes him a while (and by a while i mean like 30 minutes at most) before his texting you asking if you guys can talk about it

- its really easy for you two to make up, and immediately hes hugging you and just asking if you wanna do something with him

- also, cuts his own hair ?? and would cut yours if you asked. mikasa vouches for him "yeah he trims my hair all the time. why ?"

- every year on your anniversary hes taking you to the aquarium. and he always kisses you as softly as he did the very first time, in the dark hallway of the moon jellyfish tank ✨

a/n

THATS ITTT !!! thanks again for requesting !! i hope you all enjoyed. remember asks are open !! u dont have to request headcanons either !!! go crazy friends !!

[spencerhotchner]

Alternative {spencer reid}

Chapter 2

summary: Since quarentine was announced, Y/N decided to rewatch all seasons of Criminal Minds. On a lonely night she wished she could be in that universe instead of this. What happens when she wakes up in 2008 in Quantico?

warnings: angst, a very confused reader, regular cm stuff and my grammar (if you find anything else pls lmk) 

word count: 2.1k

a/n: ok, i am really excited about this series. and really thankful that y'all are liking it. also, i hope you will enjoy this chapter as much as y'all did the last one! it didn't end up as long as i wanted it it but ig its ok right.

series masterlist

part 1 | part 2

You could hear some familiar voices on the background as you began to regain conciseness, voices you could identify anywhere. You kept your eye shut for a while, feeling the tiredness and dizziness your body was screaming at you despite the fact that you have been unconscious, and on the floor apparently. Even though you're head was still too slow to think straight, you noticed that your face mask wasn't on you anymore. 

“Who is she?” you heard the familiar voice of Shamar, or Morgan, given the circumstances. 

“Apparently she knows me.” that was Spencer’s turn to speak. 

“I met her this morning.” JJ states, you could only imagine the faces they would be making at her, wondering how and why. “I bumped into her walking on the street, she seemed pretty confused but yet she still knew who I was.” 

“Well, that’s weird.” Emily said.

When you finally decided to open them, you felt like you were still dream. Once again you found yourself asking what was going on. Why was the whole cast of Criminal Minds standing there simple staring at you and why were they acting like their characters? Out of the two explanations that came to your mind at the moment, only one made any sense. I was a tv prank, it could only be. There would be no other logical reason to it, other wise. 

“Are you ok?” Hotch asks, offering a hand. 

You stared at him trying to figure out what to say, but without saying a word you took his hands and got up. The whole team was looking at you, with weird expressions. You felt almost like you were an unsub, you hated being stared. 

“Yes, I mean, no!” you say. “Is this a prank of something? Because, damn, you guys went too far down with it. Fuck!” you say, finally snapping. 

“I’m afraid I don't know what you are talking about.” Rossi said. 

You tried not to but as soon as you realized you already had a big sarcastic expression on your face. How wouldn't they? They were tv stars and they were clearly acting, you've seen it. 

“Oh, you're not?” you said, as sarcastic as you could be. “Ok, let me enlighten you all, since you ‘don’t know what i’m talking about?’. I woke up in this freaking random apartment by myself wearing the exact same thing I was wearing the night before.” 

“...and where is the part we fit in there?” he replies. 

You ignored him, sighing and trying to push your anxiety down. 

“As I was saying, I was wearing the exact same thing and I was in Bellevue, in Washington state. I have no idea who decided to pull this off but as much as I love the show, I am not enjoying this.” you say, looking around trying to find cameras. 

They all kept staring at you, Rossi was the only one who didn't seem worried about, it was like he thought you were on drugs or just delusional. You were even starting to believe in that. JJ and Spencer kept staring at each other, possibly trying to figure out what was going on, and how you knew them. 

“You believe you were abducted, then?” Hotch finally says something. 

You sigh again, trying to be patience. All you wanted was to go home, when you said you wanted to meet the cast - all the hundreds of times you said it, you didn’t mean this. You closed your eyes, because suddenly all you wanted to do was cry. You couldn't count how many times you imagined this happening and it was being just awful. You hated being confused, lost and being pictured as crazy. 

“No, Agent Hotchner” you spilled his name, sarcastically. “I am sure.”

He looked at you without much expression - as usual, but you could tell he was superseded you knew him, just as much as the team. Morgan step forward, walking towards you. You stared at him, trying to remain calm. 

“Listen, we can't help you if you don't let us.” he said. “Can you tell us your name?”

God, don't they realize this is funny? I do not wanna be acting, some pictures would do the job just as fine. 

“Y/N Y/L/N” you say as you watch Rossi give Garcia a look making her nod and direct herself to her ‘cave’, certainly to search you up. 

“Alright, you have someone we can contact with?” JJ asks. 

You nodded, yes you did. But they wouldn't pick up the phone, as you tried multiple times this morning on the old cellphone. What if something happened to them? This was all so confusing. 

“But she won’t pick up the phone, I tried.” you said.

Once again, you caught yourself wondering what was going on. And that was the moment you kind of got what was happening. Would it be possible that you shifted to this universe? Maybe this wasn't all a prank and your wish had just became true. You probably should've thought about it before asking for it. At once it hit you, what you said to your friend just last night. 

“What is something you would want to do right now?” your best friend asked you, leaning a bit towards you, laughing drunkly.

“Um, I’d really like to be in Criminal Minds right now.” you say laughing as you best friend rolled her eyes. “No, listen! I’d love to meet Spencer Reid and I don't know, it just sounds better than quarantine.”

“Yeah, sure, because serial killers are just not bad at all, huh?” she laughed. 

Maybe this was true, maybe you did shifted. And if you did, you sure sounded like a crazy person, and probably a stalker. You looked around trying to figure out if you could sit somewhere, it all became took much for you mind at that moment. 

“Can I sit... Can I sit somewhere?” you asked, probably looking as ill as you sounded.

You watched as Reid rushed to bring the chair. You set down trying to figure out how you'd leave there, and how you'd shift back. Staring at them you felt your heart warm a little, you dreamed about this for so long - as it was all it was, a dream, until now, at least. 

Before you could say a word you watched Penelope come back and whisper in Rossi’s ear, probably what she found out about you. Which, maybe was everything, since you had no reasons to hide a thing about your life, which was quite boring, in fact. 

“Who are you?” Rossi says, like he’s ready to arrest you.

“I-I already told you.” you answer. “I’m Y/N.”

If you needed any proof about what was going on that was it. It was like you did not even exist, like you weren't real. She probably didn’t find anything because you’re not from this universe.

“Alright. What can we do for you, Y/N?” Morgan asks.

“I need to go home.” you let it out. “I don't know how I ended up here in Quantico.”

Garcia stares ate you, almost like she felt pity about your situation while the rest of them kept a suspicious look at you. It’s not like you blame them, anyways, you would think it’s weird for somebody to come out of nowhere knowing your name and claiming to be pranked. 

While you were sitting there, with all those eyes at you, you thought that maybe giving up and trying to figure it all out by yourself maybe would be better. How would they help you, anyways? It is not like they could send you back. And it is also not like you didn't actually wish for this. 

There are some wishes that are entirely rhetorical. 

“You know what? I’m good.” you fake a smile, obviously. “I’m just gonna go.” 

You stoop up fast, not giving them much time to contest you. Spencer looked confused, more than any of the others, for some reason. Maybe he was just curious on how you knew him, or JJ. Either way, you wouldn't know. 

Hotch looked at you, wondering your action. Why were you so desperate at one time and tried to pull off as if it was ok? It was definitely not ok. Your smile looked fake, your body seemed tense and your eyes looked as lost as he could think someone could be, as he has seen a lot of lost eyes. 

“Thank you, for your attention, though.” you say. “I’m sorry for taking your time agents.” 

You stormed out of there, not even realizing that you left your jacket in there. How could you? Not when you ran out of there as if your live depended on it. You let a sigh out as you got out of the building, not even noticing when the tears started to come down at your cheeks. 

At that moment you didn't care at all about where you were, you set on the floor, letting the tears roll down and the sobs come out. You never wished to be away from your reality, it only seemed nice in your dreams. Right now, all you wanted was to go home and hug your parents, or even just see them. You felt lost, as lost as a five year old who can't find his mommy at the park. 

You got scared as you felt a big hand touch your shoulders. As your turn, to see who was it, Spencer looked as nice as you could ever picture him to, or see on the screens. His face resembles worry, like he was actually wondering what happened to you and why where you there. 

“I believe this is yours.” he hands you your jacket. 

You stare at him before.

“Yes, thank you.” you wipe the tears away. 

“No- No problem.” he said, sitting by your side. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah.” you answered looking away. 

“You don't have to lie to me.” he said, as you looked back at him. “I wanna help you, but I can only do that if you cooperate with me.”

Why would he?

“I don't know where I am. I mean, I do know but I don't know how I ended up here. I understand what is going on, I did after a while but I don't know how to change this situation. I don't know how to go back home.” you said. 

Not like he’ll understand, anyways.

"Maybe... Maybe me and my team could help you figure it out?” he tries. 

“I doubt it.” you shake your shoulders. “I know that you guys are awesome at your job, don't get me wrong, to be honest I’m quite the big fan.” you laughed a bit. “But it’s just out of hand.” 

He stops, looking at you. Gave up offering help, you were not accepting he felt it. No, he knew it. It was his job to know what body language was telling him, anyways. He didn't want to stare at you, but he felt like he needed to. He was stuck at your looks, so pretty, yet so lost. 

“If we can't help you, is there anything I can do for you?” he asks. 

You looked right into his eyes. Thinking, if you should say it. Maybe so, it wouldn't kill you, it was not like it was the real world of something, well maybe it was but you couldn't care less. All you wanted was somewhere to stay this night and figure out how to get back.

“I do need a place to stay tonight.” you say, smiling little at him. 

He had a weird look on his face when you said that, like he wasn't expecting it. Because he wasn't. That moment he considered himself a crazy man, because he knew the risks and yet was up for it.

“Uh, ok.” 

Taglist: @feverdreamreid @andromedasstarship @paulaern @theetherealbloom @thatsonezesty13 @reidsalvez​ @pieceofreid @nymeria-targaryen​ @greeny-kitten​ @peppermintnight @notebookgirl30​ @2sarvinem @holding-on-to-my-youth​ @mggsprettygirl​ @iifloweringnightsii​ @iidontgiveafuckuniverse​ @mcntsee​

[flodaya]

hi flora, i recently found your blog, i liked your opinions about some remakes and their issues, i agree with most of them. if you don't mind i'd like to ask you some things like what is your favorite season in the whole skam universe and what do you expect from druck S6 in terms of plot/storyline and representation? i hope i expressed myself well enough, sorry if there's any mistake, english is not even my second language lol. take care <3

thank you, and pls don’t apologize for your english!

my favourite skam season ever? oh that’s a difficult question because I would consider different skam seasons my favourite for very different reasons, so I’ll give you my top 5 (+ one bonus season)

skam season 3

sometimes i feel like we all need a gentle reminder how well written and executed this season actually was

it found it during a rather let’s say tumultuous time of my life and it helped me a lot with coming to terms with my sexuality

in my head isak is a real character, I literally forget he doesn’t exist. He means so much to me that I just blend out the fact he isn’t real

not to shade anyone but oftentimes I feel like people forget that skam s3 wasn’t just the 27261th season about a gay boy falling in love, it had so much more depth and themes and symbolisms than that

the cuddle clip hits me every time because you know what I expected when I first watched episode 4 the first kiss? I expected isak to get scared again and pull back, so I was hit with such an overwhelming feeling of relief (and then [redacted] came and made all my worst fears come true lol)

druck season 3

oh boy, where do I even begin to explain why I love this season so much

it’s the main character who is so introverted and quiet

it’s the quiet and deep love story of a boy feeling seen and heard and another boy feeling wholeheartedly excepted and loved

it’s the friendship between four dumb and loving boys, no need for toxic masculinity here, other shows need to get on their level

the season wasn’t perfect, I have my issues with certain weeks but it was the first season I’ve watched live from beginning to end, the emotional attachment I have to this season is unmatched

skam españa season 2

I know it’s boring I’m only naming gay seasons but I am gay and when I find positive and happy rep I latch onto it like an eel

girls loving girls !!!

seriously, I’m not even only talking about joana and cris’ love story, but the girl squad’s as well

I feel very seen by joana, the bpd rep felt very accurate to my own experience

it’s my go-to rewatch season, whenever I am bored or sad or lonely I turn on eskam s2 (the first like 10 clips are literally burned into my brain by the amount of times I’ve watched them)

skam season 1

this must be one of the most underrated seasons ever

the storyline is so well written

I know it’s not the most exciting plot, but the feeling of not having any friends and feeling like you’re lost when you’re a teen (or even in your 20s) is underrepresented and that’s why Eva’s season means a lot to me

Lisa Teige is probably my personal favourite actress out of all the skam actors, she needs to get more credit for her outstanding performance!!!

I always ignore how heterosexual this turned out but to me this will always be Eva falling in love with Noora, #nooreva4eva

druck season 5

Who would have thought this would turn out to be my favourite druck season? for sure not me

more so: who would have thought this would be one of my all time favourite skam seasons?

wonderfully written, all emotional attachment to s3 aside, it’s the best written druck season hands down

druck was like “i will show them how to do original seasons” and then they did

okay I’m going to say it: the new druck girl squad is my favourite girls squad

we all asked for a season from a pov of someone who is mentally ill and druck delivered

bonus season: skam españa season 3

Shortly after this season ended I thought I didn’t like it as much but I have since rewatched it and it is definitely one of the most important skam seasons

toxic and unhealthy relationships aren’t what main stream media usually focuses on, actually toxic and unhealthy relationships are often romanticized in main stream media

but eskam took a huge risk and build a very subtle toxic relationship, it had all the wonderful noorhell parallels and in the end said “fuck them, they are toxic”

Nora’s development throughout the season was wonderful to see

I wouldn’t consider this a favourite in the sense that I personally love it but I think it’s one of the most important and best written seasons for sure

who wants to place bets that fatou’s season will be on my top 5 seasons of all time?

I am going in rather blind and without expectations, all I want is fatou to be happy by the end. I’m so glad that we are getting a queer season that isn’t about coming out (thank god for queer writers) but I wouldn’t mind if kieu my was still in the middle of figuring herself out and if her side-plot was a coming out story. otherwise I hope we get lots of beautiful girl squad moments, lots of sapphic soft clips, and i want to see fatou’s home life

[muwur]

haikyuu x otome: masterlist |  prologue

» synopsis:  a haikyuu x reader au where you, the player, are bound for university in a metropolis several hours away from home. hope and excitement are replaced with dread as you come to realize that juggling life as a student and a part-time employee takes a toll. from demanding classes to a ruthless manager, life just can’t seem to give you a break. that is, until you meet a certain someone who reminds you how to live and follow your dreams. somehow, when you’re with them, time stands still. maybe things are finally starting to look up. if only you could stay in those moments for just a little longer. 

» disclaimer: i do not own haikyuu or any of the pixels in this post (i simply made collages out of them)

edit: it’s been brought to my attention that another HQ writer may have written something similar to this idea in the past and I was unaware. Though I haven’t seen this particular type of thing written yet, I don’t mean to claim this event idea as my own bc I feel a lot of events that ppl put up may have some overlapping themes n such (tho this idea would def be more specific and be cause for concern of plagiarism) and bc I would never want to steal ideas/not ask other writers first/not credit other writers (that’s not cool fam). If you have any issues with this event, pls bring them up w me, and if you know any other writers who’ve done smth similar, pls share w me their URLs! thank u for ur understanding :) I hope u can still enjoy haikyuu x otome :’)

» how to play:

I. you can refer here for the general rules of my blog. also, for this event (and it’ll say in the descriptions below), i’m only accepting one character per request. also the word count limits i wrote here may change as im getting started on actually writing requests lol

II. essentially a collection of x reader one-shots, drabbles, and smaus in which you are a busy college student whose only break seems to be spending time with friends who actually get you or the 15-minute lunch break during which you get to ignore annoying customers

III. since this is otome-inspired, i have several options you can choose from. these options are essentially types of requests:

» everyday is a new start 

» drabble about how you meet the character of your choice  

» it is not guaranteed y’all are gonna gel (get along) when you first meet,, warning: if the character is usually a bitch, i may write them as one LMAO jkjk but fr

» usually light, fluffy, and/or silly

» hmm tbh,,, idk word count,,, probs anywhere between 700-1k words (i edited this word count after writing my first thing bc HNNN)

» the only characters you can’t request this for is yamaguchi, tsukki n hinata,,, bc you meet them in the prologue AHAHA sry it’s nothing too spaicy since it’s just in the intro

» it’s all in the little things

» one-shots about normal, daily interactions with the character of your choice

» in other words, these include what can go on in a day in the life of y/n and the character of your choice (after they’ve already met). in the city, the possibilities are endless

» give me a word (or several, cuz writing is hard lmao. also legit any word, like ‘orange’ or ‘nostalgia.’ i may choose only one or do a combination from your list :3) as a prompt and ill somehow make something of it lmao

» medium relationship development + exp

» 700-1.5k words

» hmmm what should i get today?

» very short drabble with a character of your choice about various scenarios and thots i have in my head

» a complete surprise, totally random, may have no context

» may be serious, fluff, crack, etc. 

» if u choose this u basically told me ‘surprise me’

» 100-300 words, depends on my mood

» when i see your name pop up on the screen, i can’t help but smile 

» short smau with a character of your choice 

» fluff or crack, ur choice or leave that up to me (if unspecified, ill just flip a coin)

» you can either give me a word(s) as a guide or leave the topic of convo up to me

» 2-4 panels

» you’d be surprised how much can happen in a day 

» BMO has nothing to do with this, i just found a cute pixel of him

» spaicy relationship development, the scenes in which you actually make progress in the game

» one-shot with a character of your choice

» order from the following:

» macaron: when they realize they’ve fallen for you

» banana bread: when you realize you’ve fallen for them

» iced americano: when they feel a tinge of jealousy 

» hot chocolate: when they see you crying  

» matcha latte: when they have a longing to be around you

» cupcake: love confession (may be intentional or accidental)

» major relationship development + exp + sometimes confusion

» 1-2k words

» these will probs take me longer

» all good things must come to an end

»  not as angsty as those bolded words above sound,,, unless you want it to be >:)

» drabble or one-shot with a character of your choice. the final interaction before finishing the game

» you have three options: good end (fluffy, romantic & the like), bad end (angst), or crack end (surprise)

» word count will be super variable, from 300-1.5k words

IV. this forces me to write one-shots, drabbles, anything but hc’s, and also forces me to limit my word count. that said, this will take me a hot minute, y’all. word counts may change too bc i am,,, indecisive n untalented AHAHA

V. search for ‘haikyuu x otome,’ ‘haikyuu x otome special,’ ‘haikyuu x reader otome’ tags! i will tag each work under these c:

got it? have a request for me? send me an ask or submission! 

request example: ‘start new game with akaashi’ or ‘love challenge with yachi in the empty lecture hall at night’ or ‘continue story with noya. words: tired, mangoes, music’ 

feel free to ask me if ur confused about anything and have questions! thank you so much for reading <3 im excited for this heh

inspired by recent haikyuu otome teasers i keep seeing online and the fact that i dropped my summer class and am taking on personal projects (like painting my room LMAO i gotta manifest my inner buff daddee ushi to move shit in my room bc i kid u not everything is rlly heavy in here. and i also delved back into otomes on my phone,, does anyone else play midnight cinderella or mr love LOL talk 2 me)

haikyuu x otome masterlist

[slothgiirl]

Nothing’s gonna take you from my side (mc x noah fic)

15k. in which mc deals with the fallout of redfield/jane all while reconnecting with the boy they thought they’d lost forever. should be gender neutral but @ me if i made a mistake.

warning for mental illness. 

happy spooky month. (i basically started playing choices again and that made me miss my boy noah marshall and here we are 48 hours later. pls dont let this flop

before.

You can't sleep with that tree outside your window. Still, out of the corner of your eye as you get ready to lie in bed awake until morning, you can still see Cody's dead body in the branches. And every single time it's a rush for the bathroom as bile rises in your throat.

It's five in the morning when you finally snap, grabbing the axe from your garage and sinking the blade into the tree trunk with a satisfying wack. You can't sleep. You're a newly minted adult but ever shadow in the night, in the dark, makes you jump.

You swing the axe again, with a closed mouth scream of animal desperation.

The precious few hours you are able to sleep are hardly enough: especially when shut eye equals nightmares for you. It's a mixture of Jane and the monster who turned out to be Jane in a goddamn tragedy and all the really fucked up things that didn't happen (everyone dying). You dream of the girl who was Jane. You dream of being stuck in the same way that Jane was, as you scream and scream and no one ever comes to help you and it's easy to see why your friend ended up as twisted, a poor version of herself, after being left alone to rot all those years.

And that makes you think of him.

You swing the axe even as the tears sting your eyes because it wasn't what everyone thought. Maybe. . .you can never find it in you to blame him for his actions, not when you understood-understand him so well. It was Jane. And in the end.

You leave the blade stuck in the tree trunk, not even halfway cut, as you cover your mouth with your hands and let out a grueling cry. It's an accumulation of living in fear for months: of the terror that seems to live in your mind even in the aftermath, even when the woods have been peaceful for months. Slumping into the ground, you hug your knees to your chest, still in pajamas, and let yourself cry. Again.

Sometimes it feels like crying is all you're capable of. It seems strange to keep on living when-it should've been you. He deserved to live, to be happy, to be more. . .

“Aw kid,” Cid says, walking up to you, cup of coffee in hand. “Let's get you inside.”

You nod shakily, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand, before getting up, brushing the dirt off your legs.

Cid wraps an arm around you, giving you more care and attention then your parents have in years. No wonder you understood him so well. You should’ve reached out sooner. You should’ve never pulled away after Jane. . .

“Jesus kid, you’re freezing. How long have you been out here for?”

Shrugging, you utter, “I-I couldn’t sleep. . .the tree.” And fuck, even to your own ears you sound like a complete disaster. Where did the fire that had you charging into the woods for Andy go? You look at your reflection in the glass planes of the back door and see a teenager who looks more like a ghost then a real living person.

There’s dark shadows under your eyes that no amount of concealer could hide. You lips a harsh line across your mouth. And there was a haunted quality in your eyes that matched the photos of refugees fleeing war. It was PTSD as Lucas would say back when none of your friends could sleep through the night.

“I’ll call someone to get rid of the tree,” Cid offers, as he gently guides you up the stairs, “just try and get some sleep. How else are you gonna enjoy your last summer before college?”

You nod listlessly.

Before you can curl up in the guest bedroom, you stare out into the woods behind your house. But there’s no shadows congregating into a shadowy person. There’s no red eyes glowing from the treeline and you have to wonder if Ava’s right; if Noah really is. . .dead.

“Relax Lucas,” Stacy grins, “no one’s gonna know,” she says, taking her hand off the steering wheel to slap his arm.

Lucas rolls his eyes. “I didn’t even say anything.”

You’re sitting smushed in the back with Lily and Ava and Dan. Andy had physical therapy today, otherwise there would be even less space in the back seat. Though Stacey’s mom van is roomy enough.

“Then why do you look constipated,” Ava laughs, not looking up from her latest book on witchcraft.

“Ava!” Lily giggles besides you.

“Have you figured out what to do with Pritch’s house,” Lucas asks instead.

“Not really,” Ava admits, “it's a dope house but. ..” everyone sombers up, “I-I don’t really want to live that close to the woods, y’know.”

It’s lily that jolts you all out of the awkward mood. “Maybe you should’ve gone to a college out of state then,” she prods, “Didn’t you get into Washington University?”

Ava shrugs, “community college is way more fucking cheap though. We can’t all get a full ride to Berkeley.”

Lily blushes, but smiles proudly all the same.

You stare out the window as the woods thin out, as you drive further and further down the interstate and a bolt of panic enters your chest as you realize you’re leaving the woods behind. You wrap the jean jacket that isn’t yours more tightly around your chest. It’s summer. But there’s a chill in your bones that never seems to relent.

“Yeah, yeah,” Stacey teases, “Berkeley’s alright, but it’s no NYU.”

“Are you a big city girl now,” Ava teases her, finally shutting her book, “going to go meet your Mr. Big?”

“Since when do you watch sex in the city?”

“It’s Sex and the city actually,” Lucas corrects with a grin.

“We binged a couple of seasons at Andy’s house the other day. That Miranda lesbian episode was fucking gross though,” Ava adds.

“We’ve always lived in a small town,” Stacey explains, “and New York seems like a dream.”

“Pizza rat though,” Lily counters.

“Okay, you’ve got a point,” Stacey admits, “but it’ll be nice not being known as former Major Green’s daughter.”

“I thought you guys were working on it,” you speak up, slumped against the backseat.

“We are,” Stacey nods happily, “it’s not really my parents. It’s me too I guess. I hate when people act like that’s all I am. And I think it’ll be a great experience. I loved the campus when I visited.”

“I’m happy for you Stace,” Lucas says softly.

“Plus I’ll get to heckle Lucas around town!” Stacey says once again, taking her hand off the steering wheel to slap Lucas’ shoulder.

Lucas rolls his eyes. “You’re buying me McDonalds.”

“McDonalds sounds good,” Lily adds, “I could go for some nuggies before we hit up Ikea.”

“Nuggies,” Ava snorts as Stacey pulls up to the Mcdonalds across the street from Ikea.

“Do you not want nuggies,” Lily says arching a brow.

“Oh I want nuggies,” she replies shamelessly.

“What about you hon,” Stacey asks. There’s only one other car before you have to order but you’re not hungry. Your appetite seems to have vanished along with your sleep. Even getting rid of the tree hadn’t helped much. Currently you had taken to sleeping in the living room, but sleep was still hard to come by.

“I’m okay,” you answer, “maybe just a small coffee.”

Stacey glances over at Lucas, before fixing her concerned gaze on you. “You sure? We haven’t had anything to eat since we left.”

You wanted to say you hadn’t even had breakfast, but you don’t want her to get any more concerned then she already was. It had been six months and you were still fucked up. Meanwhile your friends had recovered. Maybe they weren’t at one hundred percent, but none of them were calling you crying at three in the morning. . .anymore. It was just you that couldn’t get over it.

And there was no one you could talk to.

They hadn’t been there at the end with him the way you had. They couldn’t understand. When you told them it was Jane and not Redfield, when you told them what Noah had sacrificed in the end, they couldn’t wrap their head around it. And they didn’t want to. They just wanted to move on.

But you couldn’t.

Some essential part of you was forever in the ruins, as if you’d never left that night at all.

And the only other person who could understand was there too.

Right?

He had to be.

The same way Jane had been.

It was a selfish wish, knowing how being tethered to the power could twist a person, but you couldn’t help it. It was Noah. If you were a better person, you’d wish he’d moved on like Jane, and maybe he had. Maybe that's why nothing had happened in the months since that night.

Dan slips his hand in yours, and squeezes.

You smile gently and try to focus on enjoying the day with your friends.

The woods seem strange without a monster lurking in the shadows.

You're not even that close: hadn't even stepped one foot in the woods since that night. When you'd emerged hysterically crying and covered in dirt, all banged up from Jane, uttering his name like a prayer for which no words exist and quickly been taken to the hospital, you were sure you'd never step foot in the woods again.

Andy told you days later that no one had been able to find the ruins after your friends. No one had recovered his body.

You swallow thickly, hands pressed into a fist at your sides. There might be nothing out there. But if there's any chance that he is-that he's alice in whatever shape or form, you can't live with yourself if you abandon him the same way you'd abandoned his sister.

Sure, you were kids. You hadn't known better with Jane. But you're 18 now. You won't repeat the same mistake twice.

“Noah,” you whisper, taking a step closer to the tree line on one of the roads into town. You couldn't be at home right now, not with the open house going on.

Nothing.

Not even the crack of leaves or a bird singing. Just eerie silence as though the power and woods were one and the same and without the monster lurking in the dark, the woods were less haunting: less magical.

“Noah,” you repeat, taking a step forward until your hand touches the bark of the nearest tree, still safely held in the daylight, “Noah, it's me. Are you out there?”

You sniffle as tears well up in your eyes because you don't know what to do if he's really gone. You barely knew what to do with him when he was alive, all the complicated feelings of love and loss between you made it too hard for you to think clearly when it came to him. You only knew you couldn't let him go. Not again.

Too bad.

He'd still. . .that night. . .

“I meant it,” you utter louder, “I'm not leaving you again Noah.” If he even remembered who he was. Jane hadn't always remembered. “Noah, please let me know you're still out there.” Your gaze flits about as you look around the woods hoping to see any sign of shadows pooling together or those burning red eyes.

But there's nothing.

You wrap your arms around your chest, lips pinched tightly because fuck maybe he really was gone and you should be happy he isn't a monster but it's Noah and you're selfish because you should hate him after what he'd done to Andy and the others and you but you can't and you just want him back but things are never going back to the way they were and maybe that's a good thing because before you hadn't spoken to Dan in years and you wouldn't have know where everyone was going to college but at least Noah was alive if not happy and-and-

-you're gasping for breath.

A panic attack.

The first time this happened, you hadn't known what to do. It had felt like dying, stuck in that chair unable to help your friends all over again. It had felt like a blow to the chest as Noah came to the cold hard realization that there wasn't much left of Jane in the monster.

It had been Dan who'd talked you through it. And you take deep breaths and try to calm down because you were going into the woods again.

Just not today.

Tires screech to a halt behind you as you try to compose yourself in the midst of tears, short choked breathes that leave you gasping, and you're always so fucking cold even in mid July. Your flannel and jean jacket do little to keep you warm.

“Hon,” Stacey calls out, running up next to you, before saying carefully, “what are you doing out here?”

“She's clearly not okay,” Connor sighs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, taking your other side. “Shit you're freezing.”

“I'm fine,” you reply tightly, voice cracking.

Stacey smiles sadly, wrapping her arms around you in a tight hug, the kind of hug you've always wanted from your parents when they tell you everything's going to be alright and you actually believe them. “You're okay. They can't hurt you now.”

Connor looks back at his truck, emergency lights flashing, “we were going to get pizza, wanna come with us? It's family night.”

You hug Stacey right back, arms around her waist, chin on her shoulder, gazing out into the seemingly normal woods. “You guys do family night now?”

“We were going to make pizza,” Stacey mummers by your ear, “but we killed the yeast and the dough never rose.”

“So we're buying pizza now,” Connor adds with a laugh.

You nod, “if you think that's alright.”

“Of course it's alright,” Stacey responds right away, “you're always welcome at my house.”

Her words make you want to cry all over again. It's enough to tease the smallest of smiles out of your lips. “Sounds good.”

Her grip on you eases to match her brothers, one arm around your shoulder. You're flanked by the Green siblings: safe and sound.

They lead you back to Connor’s truck, gossiping about how Staceys moms still wondering if it's not too late for Stacey to major in economics and how leaving politics has actually made their family much better, but that might just be the family therapy they're all going to. “Mom also wanted to roadtrip to New York to drop Stacey off,” Connor grins, “s’ gonna be so embarrassing for you. Have your parents walk you to your first class.”

“Oh shut it you,” Stacey retorts, clicking her seat belt.

You glance back one last time at the woods and-

there, behind a dead tree, it's rotting husk is a bounty for all the decomposers and bugs that live in the woods, a pair of glowing blue eyes looking right at you. Your heart skips a beat as you place your hand on the window, whispering so softly, “Noah,” as Connor drives into town.

Neither sibling hears you.

“Are you sure you want to live here,” Andy says skeptically as Dan and Ava help you carry the boxes of things you'd decided to keep when you sold your old house. It had too many bad memories for you to sleep there. “It's-,”

Bound by the woods on three sides, the backyard merging with the woods of the small cottage from the 1930s, before the cookie cutter houses of the suburbs were built.

“It's got character,” Ava grins, tossing a box down in the hall. “Still can't believe your parents let you sell the house.”

“They really like Alaska,” you shrug. You weren't sure what part their research base was in. Were they even still in Alaska?

“I wish my parents let me move out already,” she rolls her eyes, “but no. If I'm staying for community college then I have to live with them.”

Andy sits on the couch, crutches resting on the wall next to him. “I still can't believe I have to repeat senior year.”

“At least we’re together,” Dan says shyly, taking care to put down the box he'd carried inside down and out of the way so no one will trip.

“And we don't have to worry about Redfield this time,” Ava adds.

Dan elbows her.

“What! I'm just saying!”

Andy rolls his eyes. “So you're back to being the scariest witch in town then?”

“Damn right I am,” Ava grins. “Check this out.” She sticks her hand out and even gets you to wander over to her. Ave glances at you all, making sure you're paying attention, before snapping her fingers.

Nothing happens.

“Um,” Andy's about to start.

Ava rolls her eyes, snapping her fingers once more.

This time, smoke wafts up from the space between her thumb and middle finger.

“Shit Ava,” Andy's eyes go wide. “Should we even be messing around with that again.”

“It's just magic,” Ava huffs.

You say nothing, wondering if Noah would show up now that you were closer to the woods. Closer to him.

He hadn't appeared since that day.

It was enough to make you wonder if you really were seeing things.

“Well whatever it was that,” Dan, swallows, “that power Pritch told you about. . .its still out there even if it's not. . .” he trails off as unsettled as Andy who had rapidly lost all color.

“No-no. It's gone,” Andy said, “right?”

“Ask them,” Ava nudges you with her arm, “you're the one that spends all your time staring at the woods.”

“I-ugh,” you stutter wondering what happened to leave you this much of a mess. You look in the mirror and wonder where the person who told off Cody and Britney for bullying your friends went.

“Ava,” Dan snaps. “leave them alone. Let's just-”

“Not talk about this,” Andy finishes.

“No one ever want to talk about it but it's right there,” Ava yells, pointing her hand out the window.

“I think it's gone dormant again,” you lie. “like before we found that place.”

“I hope so,” Andy mutters.

“I'll be fine here,” you reassure them. “I don't want to be afraid of the woods for the rest of my life.”

“Right,” Ava says with a pained smile. “Let's finish getting these boxes in so we can start watching what we do in the shadows.”

“Again,” Andy complains, “what's wrong with-”

“We're not watching spider-man again!” Dan groans.

“Spider-man is a trans icon,” Andy replies.

“The only acceptable spider-man is the 1st and 2nd movie with Tobey Mcguire,” Ava adds.

You giggle softly, “why can't we just watch both. It's not like we have school tomorrow.”

“Finally someone with a brain,” Dan smiles.

Noah tosses rocks into a lake, little pebbles he can't make skip.

You laugh, teasing him easily. “What a loser!” From your spot sitting on the lake edge.

He turns back towards you with a scowl that carries no real heat, “I’d like to see you do better.”

“You think I can't,” you retort easily, getting up and dusting the dirt and grass from your butt. You never did know when to back down from a challenge.

“I know you can't,” he grins.

“Asshole,” you bite back as he drops a few pebbles into your outstretched hand, warm from his touch, and doesn't that make your insides turn to mush.  

“Takes one to know one.”

You take a pebble into your hand and flick your wrist.

It sinks right where it lands.

“Motherfucker,” you curse as Noah breaks out into laughter, his wide brown eyes dancing with glee as you pout.

“Don’t be a sore loser.”

“I didn’t say anything,” you wave off, “best two out of three.”

“No,” Noah snips back, “you lost.”

You roll your eyes, shoving him playfully. “Alright alright but I don’t even know how to swim so it’s not really my fault.” You look around at the lake. It’s a beautiful sight, the woods on the other side of the shore like something right out of a painting.

“You don’t know how to swim,” Noah says without missing a beat, ready to keep on teasing you.

You shrug, “it’s not like I had a pool in my backyard.”

His expression falls, “yeah well,” he fiddles with his beanie, “mom filled it up not long after. . .”

“I’m sorry,” you tell him, closing the distance between the two of you, and wrapping your arms around him in an easy hug because you knew that Noah could be weird about this sort of sudden affection.

“It’s fine.”

“Still.”

He brings his hand up to cup your cheek.

The gesture sends your heart beating like a hummingbird in your chest, the base of your throat burning with anticipation for something you’ve never let yourself think about because when had it ever been the right time for this. When had you ever had the time to think about the possibility you dared no name.

Noah’s brows furrow, “where are we?”

You frown, looking around without moving away from him. The feel of his hand against the skin of your cheek felt like the only thing anchoring you to this world. It made you feel real in a way that you’d stopped feeling like a part of the world ever since the terrors of your senior year had started. The shoreline looks beautiful as you gaze out at the lake and behind you there’s a small quaint town and you know this has something to do with Tom and Andy but you can’t remember what right now even as you bite your lip in thought.

Your gaze goes back to Noah, words dying on your parted lips when you meet his eyes. Gone are the warm brown irises that had given him the perfect puppy dog eyes as a child, able to slip out of trouble easily. Instead his eyes burn an electric blue because it’s not Noah anymore but the shadow monster and you flinch in fear, pulling away so fast you stumble, tripping over grass and then you’re falling into the lake.

You can’t swim.

You scream, arms flailing out trying desperately to catch yourself.

Noah-the monster-the monster that might be Noah, reaches out one shadowy limp, and then you’re underwater.

Plunged suddenly into ice water, you take a deep breath from the shock that fills your lungs with water and you kick your legs but they are stuck in something and the sunlights never seemed so far away.

You don’t want to drown.

You don’t want to die here.

“Noah,” you scream in the water. Because if it is Noah he’ll help you. He won’t let you die. He died to save you once after all and you haven’t been able to stop thinking about that day. You hadn’t wanted to die but you hadn’t wanted him to die either. You had just wanted him.

You had just wanted the nightmare to end.

Gasping, drenching in sweat, you jolt up from the desk you’d fallen asleep on. Everyone’s packing up their things and leaving. The class is over and you’re shaking, looking around wildly as if you can conjure Noah up by sheer force of will.

He’d been in your dream.

Just like Andy a year ago.

It was real.

Noah was still out there and you had to find him before he lost his mind alone in the awful forest that you still hated. The leaves rustling outside your windows at night was enough to keep you from leaving your bed. The way the trees cast shadows meant you threw the trash away in the morning.

Noah was still out there and he needed you.

You don’t realize you’re crying until your English 101 Professor walks up to you, still sitting even as the next set of students start filling in.

“Do you think you can stand up,” he asks, peering down through his glasses. He’s an older man, beard gone white, short, with a bit of a belly like most middle aged people. Clad in corduroy, a white shirt, and a wool vest, he’s the very picture of what you imagine a professor to look like. Nothing like your biology professor who’d walked into class with sandals and a big tie dye piece of fabric that almost worked as a dress.

You nod, grabbing your notebook and hastily shoving it into your backpack, ignoring the searching stares of other students.

You follow your professor out the door, still shaking, shoving the hair that was sticking to your forehead, damp with sweat, out of your face. Your eyes flit around, searching for a boy you know isn’t there but if Jane sensed your distress with Cody then maybe Noah will sense yours.

“Sorry,” your professor says bashfully, “I still haven’t learned names, but are you alright? You look really shaken.”

You nod, not trusting yourself to speak, all bundled up in a flannel, sweater, and jacket combo that helped ease the a/c that blasted the lecture room into arctic temperatures. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, just had a nightmare.”

“Hope I wasn’t that bad,” the man chuckles, “it was only the first lecture.”

“No,” you try, “no, it’s not you. I’ve-I have a lot of nightmares. And I don’t get much sleep.”

“Because of the nightmares,” the man asks, and you wonder what you’re doing spilling your guts out to this stranger when you keep telling Andy that you’re good. You keep telling Dan that you’re getting enough sleep and no mom you were eating a big heart breakfast even though it was usually only cereal that turned to mush before you could finish it.

“Yeah,” you sigh, clutching onto the strap of your backpack. “I’ve just sort of been a mess. And,” your voice cracks, “it’s just me. For a while it was all of my friends but they got better and I feel like shit because I can’t move on and it’s been almost a year.” And there was the word vomit.

“I know it’s not much but,” your professor tries, “everyone heals at different lengths of time.”

“I think I’m late for class,” you suddenly realize, because you’d scheduled art history right after english so you wouldn’t have nothing to do on campus for over an hour.

“It’s just the first day,” he repeats.

“I should get going,” you tell him.

“Of course.”

“I’ll try not to fall asleep in your class.”

“How about you first try to get some sleep at home.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks, “yeah. No promises though.”

You’re painstakingly trying to make dinner that isn’t kraft mac and cheese or a frozen entree from trader joes. But you quickly learn that you don’t have a lot of the pantry staples. Like pepper, or bay leaves, and kraft mac and cheese was looking likelier by the minute. Who knew making pasta was so complicated.

At least you have salt for the pasta water, from the salt packets you’d collected over the course of the last month of take out. It was economical despite what Stacey had chastised you about the last time you’d facetimed. One takeout box worked as lunch and dinner.

Maybe Dan had a point.

You probably weren’t eating enough. All your jeans were a little loose now, but at least you were finally using the belt Ava had given you for your birthday so that you too could be “a bad bitch like me,” according to her.

At least the pasta sauce was easty, being from a can, all you had to do was heat it up.

There was enough daylight left, even as fall crept into the world, that you left the curtains open. It wasn’t like you were completely abandoned out here. You lived at the old house at the end of a street. And yeah, the woods surrounded your humble abode one three sides, but if you screamed, the neighbors would definitely hear.

Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be Cid running over to check on you anymore.

You finally finish making pasta, only to find you didn’t leave the pasta boiling for long enough. The noodles are still chewy but you power through it in the name of self care.

It’s not that bad. Really, for the first attempt. You’ll have to go grocery shopping for more than chips and lunchables though if you plan on cooking more in the future and fuck why does everything connect back to Noah.

Like a great student in the cast of the Lucas, you’ve already finished your assignments due tomorrow but only because yeah, Andy had sort of been right, living this close to the woods freaked you out at night but every single night, like tonight, you bundled yourself in an oversized sweater you might or might not have begged off Noah’s mom, and step into your backyard with a heavy duty flashlight because you know you saw him. He’s out there, and maybe Lucas and Lily had been right to leave far far away, but you couldn’t when Noah was stuck here forever.

He didn’t deserve that. He was just a messed up kid the same way you all were after having gone messing around in those ruins as kids.

You step into the chilly air in dollar tree flip flops that you’d bought when you’d all gone to drop Tom off at his new job by his university, the local one that Tom had sort of always wanted to go to because unlike you, he’d thought about college since junior year instead of waiting for the last quarter of high school to panic. Your feet still get dirt on them, but not as much as if you went out barefoot.

“Noah,” you utter as loud as you dare in the quiet of the evening.

You didn't fancy becoming the local neighborhood crazy lady though you were on your way there.

Maybe it could be you and Ava as the village witches.

Holding the flashlight loosely, the same one Noah had taken into the woods when you’d both gone to save Dan, you cry out, feeling more sure of yourself by the minute, “Noah, are you out there? I think I saw you but considering how many police officers thought I must've seen things back in-well that night, I could have just imagined you. But I didn't, did I?” You sigh, peering out into the dark. “Do you remember me Noah? I'm your friend and-I just want to know you're there. I miss you Noah.”

Nothing peers back at you.

Last year, you'd feared seeing something looking back at you from the trees. Now, you wish there was a monster lurking about. Your monster.

Your life had officially gone from an Ari Aster horror movie to a Guillermo Del Toro movie. But given the last months, you weren't surprised.

You bite your lip, taking one last look around the yard before turning back to go to bed. “Goodnight Noah.”

Even Ava would be concerned if she knew you were purposely trying to get the shadow monster creature that Noah now was to come. She was firmly on the Noah is a SOB club. Which you might have been in if you hadn't seen Noah in the last moments of his life.

If he hadn't ultimately saved both you and Jane. In the end.

If if if. Your entire life now centered around what ifs.

You kick the kitchen counters in frustration. “Fuck,” you yell, wishing you could fix things: feeling helpless and alone and this would probably be another night tossing and turning until sunrise.

The pan of pasta you'd made earlier clatter to the floor, tomato sauce spilling like blood on the tile floor.

You scream, the ice in your veins thawing for the first time in months only to give way to the familiar terror of knowing something was in here with you. Something was in your kitchen.

You turn, bracing yourself for disappointment.

A figure coalesces from the shadows in the middle of your kitchen--you'd walked right by it without out noticing--it's eerie blue eyes glittering like fireflies in the encroaching darkness of the twilight hours. It casts its shadow across the entire house, blotting out the lamplight from the hallway, from the patio lights.

Noah.

You don't think twice, because it's Noah. Doesn't matter what shape or form he takes, you'd know this boy anywhere. Maybe it was Jane or running into the woods alone together that had bonded you until you couldn't even accept the idea he might be gone when every fiber of your being knew he wasn't, but you know it's him.

You reach out towards the shadows, taking a step forward, “Noah,” you whisper gently, awed by the fact he was finally here. “I've missed you. I-I was scared I wouldn't see you again. That you didn't want to see me.”

The creature that is and isn't Noah tilts its head, and you wonder if he remembers you at all.

You take another step forward, full in the shadows reach, “Do you remember me Noah? I'm your. . .” Friends wasn't enough to cover the ocean currents of emotions that swept through you when it came to Noah. “You're Noah. And I promised I wouldn't leave you again and I mean to keep my promise.”  

Your outstretched hand hovers between you, putting the ball firmly in his court. You're close enough where you could just touch him, but you wait.

Finally, after holding your breath and listening to blood rush in your ears, Noah reaches out with his own hand-like shadow brushing like a cool breeze against your hand.

“Sss s-stay.”

You nod quickly, a smile forming in your lips, tears of joy in your eyes forming rivers down your cheeks. “I will. You don't have to be alone anymore Noah. Not ever.”

during.

Your painstakingly cut out all the different groceries on the flyers as well as adding in all the index cards of additional groceries that weren't on the flyers instead of finishing your calculus homework. You couldn't wait until you were done with math for life.

It was nice to sit on the floor if a little awkward as Noah hovered about. Sometimes it was a lot like talking to yourself.

“-So my english teacher, professor I mean, put me in touch with a company to do their social media since I'm good at english or whatever. You know, the one I told you saw me wake up from a nightmare. Which is nice since I could use a big girl job. I sent my very sparse resume this morning so I'm just waiting to hear back from them.” You start spreading out each card on the floor before curling up on the sofa.

“Okay Noah,” you gesture with a laugh because really what was your life that you were letting Noah who didn't even have a body decide your grocery list for the week. “Remember we want a pile.” You'd dubbed this monster motor skills practice much to Noah's annoyance.

His eyes flicker red and you can guess the look he's giving you.

“Oh shut up,” you laugh easily, “I have to have my fun somehow. We don't all get to knock food off the counter when you don't like it.” He didn't even eat and yet somehow your cooking skills were still offensive to him.

He laughs in an approximation of leaves rustling in the wind: leaves crunching under boots as you walked through the woods. Then, Noah finally starts grasping at the bits of paper in creative ways. Sometimes he conjures up a gust of wind which has vastly improved from blowing everything to just getting the right bit of paper onto the couch by your side. Occasionally he'll grasp at the paper which is a toss up if it'll actually work. Then there the good old vanishing and reappearing which is the most taxing but fun to watch.

“I see you think we have that adult money,” you grown as he goes for the wagyu beef. “I'm going to have to stop letting you watch worth it when I'm in class.”

Noah grumbles, before sending a pillow your way.

Another headshot.

“Don't be a dick.”

“Sss o rry,” Noah says, not meaning it even a tiny bit.

You dissolve into laughter because honestly what was your life that this was how you spent your days. With Noah. With your monster.

It takes another hour but you finally have your list. “I'm not making lasagna. Baked ziti is easier.”

Noah sends a burst of wind your way.

“Shut up I’m not lazy. Cooking is just so long! You have to cut all these things and lasagna means boiling so many noodles without tearing them and I always feel like I'm wasting salt by seasoning the water.” You ramble on as you copy down the homework answers for your math work from Slader.

“Las yyya.”

“Ziti,” you counter, refusing to budge. “Maybe art history could be my major but I think I like the writing part of english the most, but I wouldn't want to be an english teacher.”

“Lasss a ya.”

“Fine,” you roll your eyes, “I won't change the subject but the answer’s still ziti.”

If he could, you imagine Noah would roll his eyes as he settles down on the couch in front of you. You sitting criss cross applesauce on the couch with your laptop and notebook.

Noah reaches his hand out and you no longer flinch at the cool touch of shadow that obscure everything. Like a black void, not cold or warm. His touch is the closest thing to warmth you've felt since that night and maybe something inside of you was permanently broken if you couldn't get warm.

His hand against yours, hovering in the air because he wasn't corporal enough to hold your hand and fuck your heart aches at the thought that this is as good as it gets. That your growing pile of research into folklore and the occult that you hid from Ava wouldn't fix this. That you couldn't bring Noah back to.  . .back to himself.

Someone knocks on the door.

It must be Dan.

Noah rises like the moon in the night sky, smothering out the light pouring in from the windows, eyes flashing red.

You roll your eyes. Men. “It's just Dan. He's a friend. Your friend too. Remember I told you about our friends?”

Noah tilts his head. “fr iendssss?”

“Yeah. Friends,” you concur, tucking your hair behind your ears as you close your computer. “Now go. I'll be back tonight.”

“Noah ahhh lone.”

You shake your head having gone through this a hundred times before. “Don't be so melodramatic Noah. I'm going to the grocery store and mooching off Dan's car, ‘s not like I'm going to the moon.”

Within the span of a blink, he's gone.

You open the door to Dan’s cheery face. “So High school still sucks. I should've done online homeschool.”

“Well don't tell Ava that. She'll never let you live it down,” you comment.

Dan shrugs. “It's nice having Andy though. And you two.”

“Ah yes, us,” you tease, “the village weirdos.”

“It's good to see you laughing again,” Dan comments without judgement. “You looked rough all summer.”

You bite your lip, thinking his words over. “Yeah. It’s. . .Its nice to feel like a real living person again.”

“Did you go to therapy like Stacey said,” Dan asks.

You shake your head. “I stopped looking back.” Which was almost the whole truth. You'd stopped looking back because Noah was here with you now.

Deciding to change the subject because you hated lying to your friend, you ask, “did Ava say what our halloween plans are this year?”

Dan nods, letting it go, ���Rocky Horror Picture Show plus lots of booze. Her words, not mine.”

“Andy shot down the cemetery idea?”

“Tom was the winning argument,” Dan confesses. “Called getting drunk at the cemetery too pedestrian.”

You laugh so hard your shoulders shake. “Fucking Tom, man. Yeah I wasn't looking forward to sneaking into a cemetery either.” You hated the idea of Noah having a gravestone when he was still alive and kicking. Your major annoyance of a roommate.

“Thank god for theater then,” Dan says with a smile as you pull into town.

It's springtime in your dream. The flowers are brighter and more fragrant than any wildflower bloom you'd seen with your real walking eyes. Even as the rain pours gently in a scene that would never exist in the same perfection in real life.

You're in the same opening in the woods that you'd found Dan in. A place you hadn't ventured since.

Noah sits, back against a tree truck, as close to flesh and blood as he could get nowadays.

Without hesitation, you run to him, “Noah,” you cry out in joy.  

His disarmingly warm brown eyes meet yours, brimming with the same joy you feel bubbling up from the tips of your toes all the way to your lips where you're smiling so hard it hurts. “Sup.”

You giggle, sitting down next to him, “I see you finally learned to talk.”

He rolls his eyes, before he wraps his arms around you and hugs you against his chest. “Is this real? Or just a dream.”

“Funny,” you whisper back softly, “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

You're missing him the moment he lets you go, pulling back. His shoulder still resting against yours as if you're two trees leaning against each other for support, too intertwined to separate now.

Noah studies you carefully, without any shame, with his own features for once. He looks at you with a kind of heart wrenching earnestness that you can't bear to see for this long without reaching for him but you don't dare.

You look away, the hollow of your mouth filling with emotion. You don't know what to do with it.

You hug your knees to your chest, lapsing into silence.

He brings his hand up to your cheek, causing you to wordlessly lean into his touch, a bone deep need that would send you into his arms even knowing that he'd led you and all your friends into a trap. Even then, you'd still follow him down to the ruins.

“I'm sorry,” he finally manages, his hand cool against your skin like his shadow form. And for once, in this dream, you're not shivering with cold.

“If you had told me,” you utter gently, “about Jane, I would've helped you.”

“Well I know that now,” Noah states bitterly, his thumb caressing your hallowed cheek. It seemed like months of barely eating had taken their toll on you after all. And while you were now making the effort to eat, you still weren't at your natural weight.

You smile tightly, wishing like you knew he was, that things had gone different somewhere along the line: that you had more than just dreams and a shadow. You wish you had the boy you missed even if he was a dick sometimes. You wish you could act on the feelings that had only grown even with Noah in his current state.

“Where did your chipmunk cheeks go,” he suddenly teases, steering the conversation away from becoming a sob fest on your end. Maybe his too. You weren't sure.

You scowl, but don't pull out of his hold, feelings incredibly relaxed with him. “Don't-”

He smiles a shit eating grin, mischief twinkling in his chestnut eyes, “is it because you can't cook?”

“You're such a dick,” you utter with a disbelieving laugh, even as you shove his shoulder roughly, breaking whatever heavy tension had weld up between the two of you.

“Oh and you're a fucking angel now are you,” he retorts.

“Well excuse me for forgetting which jar of white stuff was the sugar and which was the salt! I was just trying to be cute!”

Noah doesn't relent, “and which was the jar of coke.”

You roll your eyes. “You've got to ratatouille me if we're ever going to get anywhere in the kitchen.”

“God I love that movie,” Noah says with a fond smile on his face that softens his entire features up. When he smiles like that, he's heartbreakingly handsome that you can't look away, caught in his gravitational pull and fuck you don't stand a chance.

“Me too.” You agree. “We should watch it tomorrow.”

“Deal,” Noah says, puffing up his chest and sitting up straight as he holds his hand out.

You shake on it, before you both burst out laughing.

For the first time in months, you have to force yourself to wake up.

You're making pancakes for lunch. Nothing fancy, a box mix much too Noah's annoyance. You were in the mood for them and you had a mix so it was a total no brainer.

Noah's in the woods somewhere. He's yet to drag you in too deep, having quickly realized that you were still fucked up about venturing into the woods even with the biggest baddest monster around as your best friend. You can sense him out there even from your downsized house which was homier than your actual house ever was.

It's been over a year.

You think you're making a lot of progress.

You sleep through the night. You turn the lights off. And you don't flinch at the sound of random large noises.

Lucas even talked about visiting for the summer.

Progress.

It's a saturday morning and you only have an hour or two of work to get through, mostly email correspondence. Working from home was unexpected, but it saved you from dealing with customers. You got enough horror stories from your friends. You've got most of the day to spend with Noah and you're starting to feel like you should take him up on a walk through the woods.

Someone knocks on your door.

You aren't expecting anyone.

You swallow, reminding yourself that nothing was haunting you now. There was no monster waiting to kill you anymore. And monsters don't knock.

They knock again.

You brace yourself, before peering though the peephole.

It was just Tom and someone you'd never met before. Just Tom.

You open the door. “Hey Tom,” you say friendly enough, remembering to smile and act like a real human being instead of the heavily traumatized teenager you still were.

His own face is a grim mirror image of yours only a few months ago. All dead eyes and hallowed out. “I,” he looks at the friend he's brought along, “We have a problem. Like the one that happened here.”

Your stomach drops and you can only think Noah, as the ice in your veins ratchets up and you feel frozen in place.

Tom continues on, caught up in his own terror, “I already texted the others. I-I didn't know who else to ask.”

You feel yourself nod in some strange out of body experience which finds you sitting on your sofa.

“I smell something burning,” Tom's friend asks, clearing wondering if you're going to get up, but that seems like an impossible task as you think and think yourself into a black hole of misery.

What now.

Someone must've turned off the pancakes at some point you think as your friends still in town fill your house even as you sit on your sofa, a little ball of self amplifying panic that fills your chest and you're so so cold. It's summer again. A hot 89 degrees Fahrenheit and you're wearing a hoodie that's long lost Noah's scent.

You pull the sleeves down over your hands as Dan takes a seat next to you.

Ava has a thick three inch black binder of occult lore ready to go even as Andy jokes about Ava having finally achieved her lifelong dream.

It doesn't take long for the smiles to fade as Tom’s friend goes over  their situation and yeah. . .it sounds like a monster. Like Jane. Like Noah.

A monster in a lake.

It made sense.

What was a forest without something lurking among the trees. What was a lake without something hidden in its depths.

“I can't swim,” you utter the same words you'd told Noah months ago. It hadn't been a dream then anymore than your usual nights were. The only time that you and Noah saw each other as close to normal as possible.

You'd missed the quirk of his mouth as he laughed, the corners of his eyes all scrunched up.

Tom forces a smile for your benefit. “When we get rid of this thing you guys should come over for a swim.”

“Hell yeah,” Andy chimes in, patting your knee, “I can teach you to swim.”

You shake your head. “That's not what I meant. I-,” you glance at all the faces staring at you, waiting. You take a deep breath, your heartbeat slowing down as you sense Noah draw near. You hug your arms to your chest, always cold. “I had a dream about a lake, a couple months ago. I drowned. . .something drowned me.”

Dan inhales sharply, staring intently at his shoes.

“You think it's got something to do with the power,” Andy asks out loud.

“It has to be connected dude,” Tom says with a nod. “If they're sensing it from here.”

“It is only on the other side of the woods,” Ava points out, looking over at you with a frown.

Noah's inpatient. You can sense him pacing around the tree line behind your house. Your anxiety must’ve worried him.

You make the tough call. “Guys,” you stand up, moving towards the back door. “I have something to show you.”

They follow you out without a thought, everyone reeling from their own trauma as Ava and Tom bounce ideas off each other. Toms friend. . .you hadn't caught a name, looks just as shaken as you used to feel every day.

You force yourself to look at the trees. “Noah,” you reach a hand out, “it's okay. They're friends. You can come out.”

Ava's face immediately tenses, shooting you a dark look that means you are definitely having amping talk with her later. Right, she was part of club Noah was a rat faced liar.

Tree branches rustle and you smile as you spot a cluster of shadows in the split second before they form a humanoid body.

“Oh jeez,” Andy says painfully, wincing as Noah emerges into your backyard, eyes a sparkling blue of a lightning bolt.

You draw your hand back to your chest, imagine the way he'd held it in the dream, and that he couldn't in life.

“Friend ss!”

Dan jumps back a good two feet. Tom's gaze flits between you and Noah, before deciding to focus on Noah.

His friend utters, “is-are we safe?”

“Yeah Noah,” you reply ignoring her, “they're friends. They have their own not so friendly scooby doo monster they need help with. Remember Tom.”

Noah nods, “bass ket ball….Andy!”

“I'm sorry,” Ava cuts in sharply, glaring at you. “How long has this been going on for exactly?”

Noah looks at you, and you don't know if it's sheepish or if it's, you want me to get rid of them, so you cut in. “It doesn't matter. This,” you say, waving at Noah, “is help isn't it?”

“She has a point,” Tom utters with a shrug.

“Sssss orry Ava,” Noah utters loud enough to scare off the birds that had been standing on the utility pole.

Ava blinks, clearly thrown for a loop. And then decides to let it go for now, “Fine, fine but don't blame me when the shadow monster kills us all.”

“Which shadow monster,” Dan points out because now there were two. But one was Noah and he'd never hurt anyone. You knew that for a fact the same way you knew that Noah would capitulate to playing fear factor tea party even though he found worms disgusting as a kid.  

“We have the worst luck,” Andy groans.

Tom's friend shrugs, “I'll take all the help I can get.”

You look back over at Noah, who's at least trying, by shrinking himself down to almost human sized. “Behave.” You say teasingly, wagging a finger and everything.

Noah's eyes flash red which sends them all a step back. “Yessss mom,” he croaks back in the most teenage angst tone of voice that has you thinking you might just lift the my chemical romance ban for the week.

“You're such a dick,” you snip back with a laugh. You catch Andy's gaze, his expression funny as he looks at you, but says nothing.

Ava rounds on you as soon as Noah and the others are gone. You can sense him getting further and further away and your gut turns because what if he never comes back. “When the hell were you going to tell us about that thing!”

“It's Noah,” you protest with a whine.

Andy scowls angrily, “that's not Noah. And even if it was he tried to kill us, or don't you remember?”

You flinch because yeah. There wasn't exactly much you could say on that front.

“He was trying to help Jane,” you speak up, trying anyway.

“Ugh,” Ava groans, punching her nose bridge, “that was never Jane and it's not Noah. It's a monster. Get that through your head.”

You curl up into yourself.

“Guys,” Dan tries to speak up, but Ava is on a roll.

“It could have killed you,” she shouts, voice breaking.

“Noah wouldn't-” you protest, trying to get them to understand, but your limbs are heavy. Your cold and all you want to do is curl up in bed until he gets back.

“Noah tried to kill us,” Andy reiterates.

Which has you back to square one, “because he was trying to save Jane! He didn't know she was going to kill us and it doesn't matter because he died for me in the end,” you snap back just as pissed off.

“It wasn't Jane,” Ava says waving her arms aggressively.

“How else would she have known about the whistle?”

“Because Noah told Redfield!”

You shake your head. “You were there. You saw her cross out Redfield,” you tell the three of them. “And I was there at the end. Noah chose to die so Jane could finally be free. He died so I got to leave that place.” A violent shiver runs down your spine.

Andy draws back. You hadn't said a word of what transpired after you were left alone with the Marshall twins, it had seemed to be a private and intimate matter.

“So yeah,” you finish, “maybe he did lure us down there, but he also died to keep any of us from dying. You don't have to forgive him but he's lord fucking voldemort or sauron.”

Dan looks at you with pity.

You all sit down in an angry cloud of silence that buzzes and pricks at your thoughts. This was exactly why you hadn't told them.

“At least you finally found your spunk again,” Ava offers after a few minutes.

You ignore her.

She rolls her eyes, looking through her supernatural research.

“How long,” Dan ventures to ask.

The others are listening. They don't look at you but they straighten up on the couch.

For once you're glad not everyone is here. Stacey was relentless and Lucas never would never stop going at it even when he'd made his point. Lily might understand, but she'd still be hurt.

“Since last fall,” you admit.

Dan nods as though he had guessed as much, “when you started getting better.”

You nod. “Noah doesn't let me eat frozen meals or takeout all week.”

“Oh fuck,” Ava swears, “it really is Noah.”

You pull the fleece blanket that's usually somewhere in the living room over your shoulders to try and warm up, a useless exercise, you knew that by now but it didn't stop you. Not when your joints hurt from the cold. You couldn't wait until Noah got back.

“You know it's 93 degrees out right,” Andy says lightly.

“Yeah,” you shrug shamelessly, “I'm freezing though.”

Ava tilts her head in thought.

“Yeah, I'll say,” Andy replies, “you're not even sweating in this heat.”

“He's-he's never hurt you, not even by accident,” Dan asks gently.

“No-god no,” you answer honestly. “He's-well he's got okay control now. He did ruin a couple light bulbs but he's. . .he’s never forgotten he's Noah so no he wouldn't hurt me.”

“I hope for your sake you're right,” Andy mutters darkly. “You're the one playing house with a shadow monster.”

You slump into the couch as your cheeks burn. You can't make yourself look at any of them because Andy's words hit closer to home then you would like.

This was probably as good as it was going to get for you and Noah. There was no first kiss, no holding hands or. . .there was just the hours you slept in bed and your own monster who kept you cool if not warm.

And even with that realization, you'd still choose him.

Wasn't that what love is?

after.

“I can't believe you went on a dumb ghost adventure without me and unlocked a whole new skill,” you complain while sipping on your match latte that you'd bought that little electric thing for specifically.

Noah does jazz hands with a deadpan expression on his face that makes the action even more surreal, now semi transparent and glowing a ghostly blue but at least looking like himself.

You'd both been binge watching danny phantom for ideas.

You were coming up on the second year of community college and it was time to think about transferring. . .to the nearest university because Noah was pretty much bound to these woods. And there was no way in hell you were leaving him. So there was one choice.

This morning you really only had to select your next fall semester classes. But first, spotify. You needed some jams to get you through the morning.

“At least there’s something to be said for being a ghost monster thing,” Noah shrugs, sitting down on the floor, attempting to turn the page on a book you’d left open last night, too exhausted to clean up. His hand passes right through the pages.

“Noah,” you complain weakly because boy oh boy did this boy say the saddest things sometimes and it sucked you couldn’t actually hug him because you had the feeling that your words didn’t always stick. It was clear that Noah didn’t always believe you when you said your plethora of comforting words in place of hugging him until he realized just how much he meant to you.

He looks up at you from the floor with an easy smile. “Yeah?”

And you roll your eyes. Joking about it was good. Your therapist had said it wouldn’t always be as bad as it had been that first week when you’d been practically catatonic in the hospital. “How does tame impala sound,” you ask him because manners. It’s not like he could change the music, and you never wanted him to feel left out just because he wasn’t solid enough to affect the material world.

“I’m not listening to elephant for two hours.”

“Hey,” you yelp, “sometimes I listen to let it happen.”

He sneers, “still not listening to the same two songs on replay.”

“Who listens to an entire album all the way through,” you complain. “Fine, what do you want to listen to? And it can’t be angsty. I want to have a nice morning.”

“Oh come one,” Noah laughs, “Evanescence is unmatched.”

You scrunch your mouth in thought even as you bob your head in agreement. “It does have to be good to be meme worthy. But also, like what emo preteen didn’t have a big fat crush on Amy Lee.”

“I remember you being obsessed with daredevil,” Noah reminisces.

“Hey,” you point out, looking up from the list of classes, “I was obsessed with elektra. Get your facts straight.”

Noah laughs, floating up to sit by you on the couch because he might look like he used too but he was still more ghost than living breathing person, “like that makes it better.”

You smile nostalgically, your knees bouncing with delight as you abandoned the pretense of school to talk with Noah: an easy choice. “You remember when me and Jane would pretend to be elektra and catwoman?”

He snorts, shaking his head with amusement, hands resting on his knees even as he leans in closer to you, “I remember you two would chase me around the house with a stick.”

“It was a knife man,” you say between laughs, “you’ve got to use,” you raise your hands to mimic spongebob, creating a rainbow shape, “you’re imagination.”

He brushes strands of auburn hair from his eyes, and the action strikes a chord in your heart that makes you wish more than anything you could reach out and touch him.

But he’s intangible.

You shove that thought down, focusing instead of enjoying this moment with him. “How about Florence and the Machine?”

“Why are you always shooting down my ideas,” Noah huffs, smiling too softly as he gazes at you to truly be hurt or annoyed.

“You made us listen to Nickelback last time!”

He shrugs shamelessly, “Nickelback is unmatched performance art. And I stand by that statement.”

You shake your head, wracked with laughter until you feel pinpricks of tears in your eyes because this boy! It always came back to Noah and how easily he was able to tease a lightness out of you that you thought you’d lost forever after the night of the school dance.

“Gorillaz?”

He hums in thought, “Demon days.”

You scroll through spotify easily enough. That album was among your top played.

You keep the volume low because you are a certified adult and it's morning and you don’t want a racket this early in the morning. Well, noon, but that was early for you. Okay, so you were only sort of an adult, but you could make pasta without burning anything so baby steps.

“Hey,” Noah asks gently.

You look up, only to find him having shifted closer to you. If Noah could breathe, you’d no doubt be able to feel the warmth of his breath, but you’ll settle for his soothing presence that takes the sting from your perpetual chill. He’s leaning forward and his hand hovers above the skin of your cheek and you don’t dare to lean into his touch no matter how much you yearn to feel the touch of his skin that you know you won’t get because he’s not tangible.

So you lock eyes with him, holding your breath, gut clenching in anticipation.

Noah parts his lips as if to speak, but utters nothing. He closes his mouth again, letting the silence press on.

It might all be in your head, but you swear you can feel the warmth of his hand against your skin. His thumb rubs circles you can’t feel against your cheek.

He leans forward, his forehead resting against yours. Your eyes flutter shut, a sigh escaping your lips at the close contact. There’s a deep well of longing for more than can ever be possible between you and Noah at the base of your throat.

It’s easy to forget, but Noah’s dead.

He died and he’s here but not in the same way you’re part of this world.

A breeze passes over the swell of your mouth, and you slowly open your eyes, heart lodged in your throat.

Noah’s shifted his hold down to your jaw, sitting up on his knees as he leans towards you like a sunflower grows towards the sun, his thumb brushing over your mouth. And you wish more than anything that you could kiss him.

It’s always strange to look into his eyes, expecting a soft hazelnut hue, and seeing an inhuman vibrant blue of an electrical shortage.

“I’m glad it's you,” Noah whispers softly, his voice as gentle as a summer breeze.

It’s enough to break your heart all over again. “I’m just happy you’re here,” you say, painfully aware of the tears forming in your eyes. He was the choice you made over and over again because you’d take whatever Noah had to offer.

“If-,” he utters carefully, “if I could, I would kiss you right now.”

“I’d let you.”

His eyes reflect the same heart wrenching pain of knowing that anything more between you two just wasn’t in the cards.

You summoned the courage to lift your hand to cup his jaw, mindful to hover just over the space where his body should be, guided by the spectral blue outline. There’s nothing but air under your fingers.

Noah, forever out of your reach.

There’s a reason you try not to think about this situation too hard.

There’s no happy ending to be found here.

One second, Noah’s intertwined with you.

Within the span of a blink, he’s gone.

Disappeared.

Right, he’s a ghost, he can do that.

You walk through a trail behind your house. The suns still high in the sky and the anxiety is manageable with Noah goofing off along with you as you complain about having to take biology as a english major and the fact no one in your group for political science did any work but you and this international student from Malaysia which you couldn’t point to if someone held a gun to your head. The dumb american sterotype held true for you when it came to geography.

The woods don’t seem as menacing anymore.

“Malaysia’s in southeast asia,” Noah offers.

“How do you know that?”

Noah shrugs, “I wanted to travel. Go anywhere but Westchester.”

You frown. He’d never get to leave now. “Really? I just wanted to go to disney world,” you reply because it was true and you knew it would make him laugh.

He snorts, shaking his head, “you’re so basic.”

“Shut up!” You cry out, smiling easily. “My parents had a conference in disneyworld one year. And after that Disney would send us vacation information and videos back when VHS and DVDs were a thing. It just seemed. . .I know it's a tourist trap but everyone seemed really happy and I’d wanted the videos a lot on the weekends.” You admit, looking down at your sneakers. It seems silly when Noah knows what your family is like, what your perpetually absent parents are like, but you still feel a sense of shame at admitting that your parents never prioritized you.

They were more than happy to have you spend the night with Noah and Jane if that meant not having to take care of you, back when they still flew back to Westchester.

“Disney in Japan’s better,” Noah quips, “and you don’t even have to step foot in florida to go there.”

“Yeah,” you giggle, “because we live somewhere better than florida.”

“Much better,” he teases, “we don't have humidity.”

You snort, shaking your head as you continue down the well worn trail.

“Did-can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” you tell him, looking back, and waiting for him to catch up.

Noah floats in front of you, only an inch or two of the ground but it’s fine because no one really goes into the woods here as if there’s some subconscious warning ringing in the prey part of the townspeople’s minds, keeping them away from here. “Did your parents come to your graduation?”

You purse your lips. “No.” And then proceed to make the age old excuses for them. Parent-teacher conference week with your current nanny had been fun. “They were doing research up in Alaska I think. It was the only time of the year for some fish species. . .And Now I don’t really need them.” You think they’re in Antarctica, but you can never be sure. They're very hands off and don’t call except for christmas trusting that if you need anything, you’d call them.

Noah’s eyes flash red, and for a second, he loses control over his appearance. He’s an angry storm of shadows.

It speaks to the fact that for over a year now, he’s been your main companion that you don’t even flinch, just wait for him to calm down.

“It’s whatever,” you shrug, used to being on your own, “I had our whole group and Ava invited me along to her graduation potluck.”

“It’s not whatever,” Noah snarls, having regained his spectral blue form complete with his signature beanie. “They’re your parents.” His outburst sends the birds flying out of the trees, far away from him.

“Yeah, well,” you shrug, “we don’t exactly have great parents.” Noah’s had been okay if tense before the accident with Jane.

Noah frowns deeply, still seething. When he got into a mood, he could spend days mulling it over, working himself into a whole downward spiral of dark thoughts.

You leave him to his brooding as you make your way back to your house, hands in your jacket pocket: your old leather jacket for once. You knew what to expect from your parents and that was an allowance and a phone call at christmas. Not even almost dying had caused them to fly home and check on you.

The backdoor is open.

You know you'd closed it when you left. Having your own personal ghost hadn't made you sloppy.

You share a glance with Noah before calling out. “Hello?” It could just be Ava pulling a mean prank on you, but she had blatantly refused to come to your house as long as Noah was lingering around. It was a pointless stance when Noah could really wander freely around Westchester and often did. You sensed him around town sometimes when you were in class even if you couldn't see him.

“Oh you're finally back,” Lily says, calling out from your kitchen.

Wait, Lily! Wasn't she supposed to be in California?

“I told you we should've let them know,” Stacey cries out from inside, shrill voice carrying.

Oh! Were they all here.

You step inside excitedly, Noah following suit, still scowling.

He'd eventually get over the thing with your parents. You had.

“What are you all doing here,” you ask, taking in the sight of your friends spread out in your house. It was a tighter fit than your childhood home, but it felt more like a home than that house ever had. Even Toms here on the couch exchanging notes with Ava.

“Friendsgiving,” Lily offers.

You'd forgotten that's why you had the week off from school. It had slipped your mind after years of not doing anything for this holiday. “I thought we were against Thanksgiving?” You feel touched and surprised and happy.

“Oh we are. It's all a bunch of government propaganda,” Lucas says pushing his glasses up, “but we're all in town for the week so. . .”

You smile.

And then Stacey spots Noah lingering by the backdoor.

“You,” she yells, her entire face flushing red.

Noah, who's dick-ish tendencies you're well aware of, proceeds to smirk which only pisses Stacey off more and has Lucas rising to his feet, fueled by the same anger as Stacey. “Me,” he smirks.

Stacey lobs the nearest thing she can find, a plate you'd bought at Ikea a year ago, at him.

Ava looks really pleased with herself.

Noah dodges even though it would've gone right through him.

The plate shatters against the doorframe.

He totally could've caught that. He could've saved your plate.

“Missed Stace,” Noah cackles.

Your friend turns even redder, before grabbing the vase on the table and aiming for Noah once again.

Ava smothers a laugh on the couch.

Lucas is starting to look like he wants in on the action.

Lily looks uncomfortable in the middle of the action. Like she's rather not deal with it which has been your friends m.o. for the last few months. They don't ask about Noah's and you don't bring him up. It'll save Andy an ulcer in the long run.

The vase shatters as it hits the wall, Noah having stepped out of the way in time.

Stacey eyes your favorite black mug emblazoned the sanderson sisters museum, and you know you have to step in.

She's hoisting the mug trying to get a clean shot, not caring that she just spilled half a mug full of water on your floor, when you step in between her and Noah. “Stacey, you're never going to hit him!”

“I don't care,” she snarls furiously. “He tried to kill us!”

“He didn't know,” you defend Noah. Because saying it's been two years wouldn't work. You can't force anyone to forgive him.

“You can't be serious,” Lucas says shaking his head. “After what he did.”

“He was just trying to help Jane. It's not his fault that the power corrupted his sister to the point she would try to kill us!” In the late sleepless nights, you'd thought about Jane and finally gotten that ghost to rest. What else had there been to think about alone and sobbing in the dead of the night, curled up like a bear hibernating for winter.

“I can't believe you're defending him!” Stacey yells.

You cross your arms over your chest, staring her down.

Lily tilts her head, glancing behind you at Noah, “I didn't know you could look like. . .you.”

“Yeah,” he deadpans, raising his arms to do jazz hands. “Ta-da.”

“It's a new development,” you offer through clenched teeth, still busy staring down Lucas and Stacey, who still has your mug in her hand.

“He learned it from our lake monster,” Tom adds, looking through your vinyls. “Man you've got to get some older stuff and not just what urban outfitter’s selling.”

You frown. “What's wrong with Lana Del Rey?”

“You just need more variety,” Tom councils.

“I told you,” Noah says with an annoyingly charming smirk. He pats your shoulder with his hand even though it goes right through the layers of clothes that you're bundled up in.

You roll your eyes.

“No,” Lucas says, head in his hands, “we’re not doing this. We’re not acting like everything's fine,” he manages through a clenched jaw.

You raise a brow at your friends. Stacey’s still visibly pissed. Ava has her own arms crossed over her chest, but resigned since she's had more time to process. Andy's sneaking a slice of pumpkin pie as the drama unfolds.

Lily won't meet your gaze.

Dan looks like he wants to speak up, but he doesn't and you understand because it's a lot to forgive let alone forget for long enough to sit down to a friendsgiving when Noah can't even eat food anymore and instead goes around pestering you to make meals from scratch.

“It's fine,” Noah says quietly. “I can just go.”

“You do that,” Stacey replies bitingly.

“Noah you-,” you turn to protest. But he's gone.

You swallow your words, looking at your friends. “So are we making or just reheating,” because you love your friends as much as you love Noah. It's why it feels like your heart’s being torn in half.

“A bit of both,” Tom says, “nothing complex.”

“Britney said she's on her way now,” Lily adds. “hope you don't mind. She's bringing Jocelyn since Jocelyn's friends with Tom.”

Your eye twitches. It's unfair that they can have you the two girls who bullied you all for years to the point you got bruises and Lily would skip class to cry in the bathroom but you can't have Noah here when he only tried to kill you all once on accident.

“We might have to use my desk chair and the couch but I think we can make it work,” you say instead of picking a fight.

Lily smiles happily and tells you about these cute turkey plates she got from the 99 cent store at the beginning of the month.

Britney's making you all watch Legally Blonde which no one is really mad about.

You've gotten a thick wool blanket because you're starting to shiver with cold and it's not even 11 at night but you're ready to kick them out so Noah'll come back. You're squished in between Tom and Ava which means they spend the entire time talking your ear off about the power and Ava's current witchcraft project which involves lots of dirt, salt, and herbal oils. They lose you and you're not sure what the spell’s supposed to do but Ava does conjure an actual flame from her fingertip.

Dans laughing easily, sitting on the ground by your feet, with Andy and Jocelyn, who's still bitchy but in a more affable way that gets a laugh out of you.

It's a nice night, one of the best you've had in a while with all your friends and now their friends too and you think that it would be easy to be friends for life. It's been two years since that school dance night. You've all kept touch.

But it's just not the same without Noah.

You're probably the only one who thinks that.

The dream is easy to get lost in. You and Noah throwing popcorn at each other instead of paying attention in the dream movie theater. Every time you look up at the screens there's a different movie playing.

At least here Noah is tangible, the popcorn he throws getting tangled in your hair even as you slump in your seat to try and dodge the attacks.

Noah grins mischievously and you don't have time to move before he's dumping the entire bucket of popcorn on your head.

“You're such a dick,” you laugh, beginning the long work of getting popcorn out of your hair. They don't stick in Noah's brown locks.

“It's a dream,” Noah notes, “just imagine them away.”

“Okay,” you try, shutting your eyes and imagining your hair a lavender purple shade.

You open your eyes and sure enough the popcorns gone. “Kind of digging how dreams work.”

“There's some nice things about them,” Noah agrees.

“Oh yeah like what?”

“Like this,” Noah grins smugly before leaning in and-

“Get up,” Ava snaps gleefully, as she pounces on you in bed.

“Wha-”

“Hurry up,” she repeats as you blink, trying to get your bearings.

“How did you get in here?” You ask, shoving her off you.

“Door,” she shrugs, “I found a spell to unlock locks. Where's your boyfriend?”

“My what!” You feel heat rise to your cheeks as you rush to change into a pair of jeans. Maybe a cleaner sweater too.

Ava rolls her eyes. “Your boyfriend. Noah? You're not shivering so he can't be far.”

She grabs your hand as soon as you pull your sweater over your head and drags you out of your room. Tom, Andy, and Dan are loitering around the living room.

After graduating, Andy and Dan have both decided to go to the local university. You knew it had to do with Tom and his whole research into the power even as Ava was planning a semester abroad because she firmly believed that there was more supernatural occurrences in the world.

You close your eyes focusing on Noah. “He's on his way,” you confirm, sending him in the woods near your house. When you both entered the dreamworld, Noah more often than not ended up in the ruins.

You took his word for it.

You didn't plan on ever stepping foot in those ruins again.

“I mean,” Ava laughs humorlessly, “I always thought I was the winona ryder of our group but you're an actual monster fucker so you've got me beat by a mile.”

You can only look at her with alarm, aware your mouth was just hanging open in surprise.

“Please don't say that shit,” Andy groans. “It's bad enough knowing that asshole’s doing fine and dandy not facing punishment.” He says as if Noah didn't die.

“I'm-what, what's going on here?” You look around at your friends.

They exchange glances as Noah appears, back resting against the wall looking too cool for school in his usual disaffected way, hands in his pockets.

Andy sighs, before speaking up, “Tom, I think you should-”

“No,” Ava shakes her head, “I can explain it.”

Tom raises a brow.

She nods. “I'm chill.”

“You've never been chill in your life but go on,” Andy teases.

Ava's expression softens, the guarded rage that simmered in the lines around her frown disappear as she looks at you and Noah. “I think I know how to bring Noah back.”

You swallow, “How-how is that even possible,” because you and Noah have never mentioned the fact that he's dead but he is. You watched him die.

“Ava,” Noah says, long having resigned himself to this partial existence, “even the power can't bring the dead back to life. Just look at the zombie animals. They're not really alive.”

Dan does a little, continue on, hand motion directed at her.

“Well, that's the thing,” she says, locking eyes with Noah, “I don't think you're dead.”

Noah’s expression is stone cold as he outstretches his arms out wide. Which like right, he was literally a ghost right now.

“Yeah,” Ava nods, “I can see that. But, it fits. I first started working on this theory when they mentioned they could sense you, and then there's the fact,” she looks at you now, “you're always cold. And not just you need a jacket cold but cold in the summer heat even with three layers, as if your body was-”

“Dying,” Noah utters aloud.

She nods, looking over at Tom.

He clears his throat, “when people get absorbed into the power, their memories don't last but you remember things pretty well.”

The corners of Noah's mouth lift up, a small smile on his lips. “Well I can't take the credit for that,” he says meeting your eyes.

“Somehow,” Ava says carefully to Noah, “down in the ruins, you two tied your lives together. That’s why you're still yourself and why they're always freezing cold. Because your body is still down in the ruins and I'm willing to bet it's frozen in the same state since that night.”

“Speak for yourself,” Andy scowls, “I'm not stepping foot in the ruins.”

“Redfield isn't there anymore,” Noah frowns.

“Yeah well,” Andy bites back, “I don't trust you.”

That shuts Noah up.

“And how. . .,” you start to ask as hope fills your chest even as you try to be careful because you saw Noah die and now Ava was bringing you a shot in the dark. “How would that work exactly?”

Ava shrugs. “First we have to go to the ruins. See if I'm right and then-”

“She doesn't know,” Noah states. “But I think it's worth a shot.”

“I'm going to wait with Andy out here,” Dan states, fingers wrapped tightly around the baseball bat with wire you'd kept since that school year.

“Yeah, sure,” you nod, wrapping him in a quick hug because he probably had the worst time of you all here and yet he'd still come along.

He hugs you back before you make your way to Tom and Ava are both bickering over some obscure text that might or might not be true: Noah sits on the crumbling step that marks the entrance to the ruins, deceivingly calm. It's the first time you've been here since that night.

You remind yourself there's nothing to fear. Just Noah and you're not scared of him.

“Well then,” Tom motions you first.

Noah rolls his eyes, “if I wanted to kill you I could do it without luring you down there.”

Ava twists her mouth, expression furious.

You go to smack his shoulder, your hand passing right through him and hitting the stone wall. “Shit,” you grumble, rubbing your knuckles.

Noah sniggers, not the slightest bit apologetic.

Ava gives you a look that can be best summed up as him?

You shrug. It's not like you planned on being helplessly in love with Noah Marshall, you just were.

Noah goes down first, his form glowing brightly for your benefit, as you follow closely behind him.

Tom and Ava wait a second before following you down. So they were using you as a test.

The ruins are just as dark and awful as you remember. Rocks slick with water that drips down from the roof. You pay close attention where you step, not wanting to break a leg down here, as you enter the chamber where the creature-that-had-been-Jane forced you to play are you scared.

The chairs are still tossed around the room that maybe was a basement once, or maybe it just reminded you of the idea of a basement, but it's the body lying in the floor that takes your breath away. Noah, exactly the way you'd last send him, covered in dirt and grime, absolutely no color in his skin. There was no rise and fall in his chest, and his lips were tinged blue.

Tom shines his light over Noah's prone body. “Well he's definitely preserved, there's no rotting smell.”

“Try not to talk about me like I'm a piece of meat,” Noah says, lingering next to you, his shoulder brushing against yours (or coming close to the feeling).

You look up at him, trying to gauge his reaction, but his expression is carefully blank. You turn to Ava, “what do you need me to do?”

Ava looks from you to Noah, “I'm not sure. There's not exactly an instruction manual but, you should be able to draw him out from the power.”

“Bet that goes both ways,” Noah utters grimly.

Tom nods.

“So I could just as easily get caught up down here?”

Ava nods sternly, “but that's not going to happen.”

Noah looks at you, shaking his head, “we shouldn't risk it.”

“What! No,” you shake your head, feeling warmth in your fingers for the first time in years. You reach for him, not caring that your fingers pass right through. It's the thought that counts and you've had millions of thoughts centered around  Noah.

“What if you end up like me,” Noah says, voice cracking.

You swallow thickly, “you can't think like that.”

“It is a lot to risk,” Tom points out gently.

You bite your lip, eyes tearing up, “I know.”

“Well I'm not,” Noah counters, crossing his arms over his chest, eyes glowing an infernal red as he makes his point. “It's my body after all.”

“Noah-,” you start.

“I'm not risking you.”

Ava fake gags, making you turn towards her, crouched over Noah's body with Tom all while taking down notes. When she knows she has the attention of you both, she smirks, “monster. fucker.”

Noah snorts.

“Don't worry Ava,” you joke, “you're still that very witch.”

“Damn right I am,” she grins.

“Should we. . .,” Tom says, scratching his chin in thought. “They're movies but still. . .”

“Maybe it has to just be them two,” Ava posits at Tom, “like it was last time.”

“Maybe. . .”

“So we’re doing this then?”

Ava's about to say something when she catches the death glare Noah's sending her. “How about you two decide that before we start trying anything.” She drags Tom up the stairs.

“Forget it,” Noah huffs, “I refuse to risk you.”

“I want to!” You cry out, “I want to help you and now I have the chance to.”

“Trust me. You don't want to be a monster.”

“You're not a monster,” you counter, squaring up against Noah.

He scowls before shifting into a mass of shadows, eyes a blazing wildfire burning though acres of bush land. He always had to have the last word.

“You're not a monster,” you repeat, still right by him, whether he was shadows or a specter he was Noah and that was all that mattered to you. “You've never been a monster. You've never hurt anyone. You helped out with the lake ghost. You've kept me company. It doesn't matter what form you take, to me, your Noah Marshall and that's all I really care about.” The tears fall down your cheeks freely now, even as you sniffle, soft smile on your lips as Noah calms down.

Fading from red to white to blue, until he's once more wearing the stupid beanie that you teased him about. Even death couldn't make him give up the beanie.

“You really would, wouldn't you,” he says in awe, “stay. Even if this doesn't work.” As if he couldn't wrap his head around the idea that he was that precious to anyone.

You nod. Not trusting your voice.

There's a tenderness in his expression that fills your chest with warmth as he closes the distance between you, careful, as he presses his insubstantial lips against yours and you've never felt this crazy about anyone before: never felt sure about anything like you know that if someone cracked your chest open, his name would be written on your heart.

You're not scared as darkness blots out the light of the chamber.

Darkness descends until you can't see a thing.

Noah holds your hand as you walk through the cemetery. His thumb rubbing circles into the back of your hand as you lead the way to where his tombstone is.

“Your so dumb,” you mutter for the thousandth time. Stacy's mom had graciously helped with spinning the whole Noah's actually alive story, but his mom was long gone leaving behind a tombstone for her two kids.

“It's hilarious,” he says nonchalantly even though you know he fidgeted the whole car drive here.

“Tom said to keep your nose down.”

“Tom has a stick up his ass.”

You smack his shoulder lightly, “be nice. I like Tom.”

“I never said I didn't like Tom,” he frowns, and if you didn't know him as well as you do, you'd believe the serious expression in his furrowed brow.

“You're such a dick,” you shake your head with a laugh.

Noah snorts, “I'm perfectly nice.”

“Who told you that lie!”

He pulls you in close, letting go of your hand to wrap his arm around your waist, “Lily thinks so.”

“please,” you counter, “if someone asked Lily to help them find their missing puppy she'd help them.”

Noah wags his finger, “now who's being a dick.”

You burst out laughing, still in amazement that Noah was here in the flesh and blood and you were never going to tire of simple things like holding his hand or having his arm around you as you walk.

Neither of you nor Noah were hopeless romantics or sappy people, but having been put through the ringer to so much as kiss, holding hands had become an unspoken agreement when you went grocery shopping or drove over to visit Tom as you finally took him up on the offer to learn how to swim.

You halt in front of his grave.

Noah Marshall.

1999-2018

It's simple. It's impersonal.

You hate it.

Noah doesn't waste a second, opening up the camera app on his phone. and taking a selfy in front of his own tombstone. “Get in the picture!”

You shake your head with a giggle, “okay, okay, just one,” and you snuggle up to him, pulling a funny face as he gets the inscription in the selfy.

“Guess this is goodbye to Westchester then,” he says out loud.

“I guess so,” you nod, peering out into the surrounding woods.

Noah leans in, kissing your cheek, “can't say I'll miss it. Not when I'm taking the best thing in this town with me.”

Your cheeks burn red. But the way the words melt your heart doesn't make you pull a punch. “You're such a nerd beanie boy.”

“Oh shut up,” Noah laughs, pink dusting his cheekbones.

There was no doubt about it. This was love.

[masonscig]

about me tag game

rules: answer 30 questions and tag blogs you are contractually obligated to know better

tagged by: i was tagged by a bunch of people so thank u to @lilas, @veeples, @admdmrtn, @agentsunshine, @echohauville and @masonsfangs for thinking of me !!! and im using the edited version by meg @/lilas !!!

tagging: @raleighcarrera, @pixeljazzy, @bravomckenzie and whoever else wants to do this !!!

name/nickname: jade / please is there really a way to give me a nickname... most people make it longer when they try LMFAOOO

gender: she/her

star sign: I AM AN ARIES WOMAN [virgo ↑ sagittarius ☽]

height: 4′10...................... anyways

birthday: march 29th [the way im about to have my second birthday in quarantine im absolutely SICK]

lucky number: none bc i have the worst luck on the planet. i like even numbers tho

when did you create this blog: i made this sideblog in like... june i think ?

what do I post: all twc – i reblog twc art, edits, and fics [even though i’ve been really terrible at that lately since i’ve been active in another fandom atm]. i post commissions of my own, occasional headcanons, shitposts, fics every once in a blue moon.... tbh im boring on here :/ sowwy

last thing googled: jared hess’s filmography [nacho libre / gentleman broncos supremacy]

do I get asks: occasionally ! i usually get them from my friends and forget to answer them [i am SO sorry rip to chrisha and esme and kat and becky and alicia and baylee..... yall are the vips i don’t deserve u]. and i get some prompts i never finish.... i love funny anons pls send sum of those

why I chose my url: bc i wanted something relating to mason! and since he doesn’t have a canon last name i had to choose something that was close enough for me. i’m genuinely obsessed w my url like i was FLOORED when it wasn’t copped SKDFKSDJ i don’t think i’d ever change it

*my current projects/wips: i have.... many wips bc ill have an idea and a basic passage and i’ll jot it down and take forever to actually finish it – the attached series is on hiatus for now while i write for another fandom, but i’m working on that, a spiritual sequel to another mason fic i wrote before, another mason fic, a felix fic w my new detective, and some prompts i might get to eventually. i am the literal worst at finishing wips LMFAOOOO

favorite bands: hmm i don’t listen to too many bands, so i’ll include rap groups, and girl groups! foster the people, pivot gang, the internet, bad suns, & two door cinema club, chloe x halle, city girls, and wu-tang clan !

favorite solo artists: buckle up biddies! these are my favs at the moment + some are my favs of all time – rihanna, megan thee stallion, bree runway, smino, tei shi, sza, flo milli, ari lennox, tinashe, slayyyter, cordae, schoolboy q, vince staples ... ok ill stop here

song stuck in my head: unrequited love by thundercat GOD it’s so good but haunting i LOVE it

favorite song: kiss it better by rihanna will always be my favorite song of all time no contest

last movie: don verdean bc i wanted to finish watching all of jared hess’s films ! 

last show: jojo’s bizarre adventure part 5 [i am a mista and bucciarati simp first, human being second]

favorite food: i love food and eating omg so this one is hard as hell

*food I hate: h*t d*gs and chili idk how the hell yall eat that shit

*favorite color: i really love mustard yellow and any deep green color !

*favorite animal: omg.... i love monkeys and dogs and cats... idk i love all animals tbh KSKDKKDFS

what I’m currently wearing: cotton shorts, a tank top, and my grandpa’s sweater [he passed last year and my grandma gifted a bunch of his old sweaters to me so it’s v comforting]

dream job: haha should i get existential here..... i genuinely don’t know what i’m supposed to be doing w my life SKJFDKSDJKJSD anyways !

dream trip: tokyo w my boyfriend !!!! we’ve been talking about it for years so i think it’d be the trip of a lifetime

*currently reading: i was trying to reread twilight but i got distracted LMAO [don’t worry i read my old copy from middle school i aint giving her any money]

*currently thinking about: finishing wips for an appreciation week i’m running, 

nationality: usa :/

*fun fact: during the first month or so i started dating my bf we were swimming at my house and i tripped over my sleeping dog and tore my knee up and i still have the scar to this day ! and we’re still dating almost 8 years later LMAOOO 

top three fictional universes: god im thinking more anime but i’d prob choose hxh or mha or any universe yuasa comes up with bc he writes women so well

[braindeadskeletons]

okay so ! id like to ask for a matchup if thats okay !! I am ! literally so all over the place , one second ill be in my room, petting my cat ( whos usually sleeping ), asleep, or listening to music, and the next ill be running outside in the middle of the night, rambling about the stars and how i cant see venus and how i /can/ see jupiter, which is probably a bi-product of my adhd that acts up sometimes ,, ( 1/2 )

Im. fairly short and like all of my friends are half a foot to a foot taller than me ,, i like drawing and playing video games a lot !! and taking care of little plants ive named ,, , i also !! really like soda but thats because im an edgy teen that lives off of pasta and anything thats gummy or fizzy ,, sorry if this is long by the way !! ( 2 / 2 )

Hello there, of course you can have a matchup! Don’t apologize for it being long, your information was the perfect length! Alright so reading through your information I had a bit of a struggle with it. Not because I couldn’t come up with any matches but it was mainly because I had way too many for you and I’d like to settle on just one per person unless you’re poly and I can come up with two matches for you in which case I will I went through the possibilities of Undertale Sans totally not because of your love for space which is basic ik and even Undertale Papyrus i have no reasoning for this tbh I just thought it’d be adorable to see. You also like pasta so and there's a few more on the list. Eventually, I landed you with the skeleton below!

I match you with Underswap Sans!

Just like you, Sans can confidently say that he is also all over the place. Is there ever a time where he isn’t doing something extremely questionable? The answer is no. Papyrus can personally vouch since he’s been dealing with the chaos for years. You both are pretty much two balls of energy made to form a chaotic duo. One minute the two of you are sitting and chatting away happily and the next Papyrus is watching the two of you unleash hell on the world because you two got even the slightest bit bored. It’s a horrifying sight, truly. Does it keep him up at night? Yes. Regardless he’s still just glad that you’ve made his older brother so happy.

During your late-night adventures Sans will often take you out on a motorcycle ride anywhere that you’d like to go! Movies? Done. Edge of a cliff to watch the stars? Done. Dinner? Done. You name it and he’s already bouncing off the walls in excitement to spend time with you! His favorite moments with you include you rambling on about planets and stars as he just admires how attractive he thinks you are. Sans will definitely try and throw in some ideas of his own if you didn’t like those previous ideas. If you don’t like going out much, he’d instead offer you a night in the house where he makes you some of his famous (infamous) tacos! If you’d literally rather do anything except eat his poisoned meal he’ll offer to just sit with you and play video games, which is a side hobby of his anyhow. Be warned: he can and will challenge you to literally anything. Even with games like Animal Crossing, he’ll somehow manage to make it a competition. Who can take down capitalist Tom Nook the quickest? Only an epic fight to the death can tell literally just you planting flowers meanwhile Sans is losing his shit over turnip prices

While he’s in your home 100% expect him to be harassing your cat to try and be besties. And also a number of your plants. You see since you named them he kinda thinks now that they’re some sort of monster in disguise. Or they’re just a monster that strikingly looks like a plant and they’re messing with his cute date-mate! Can’t have that.

----------

You, watching silently: 

Plant: [photosynthesizing n shit] 

Sans: LEAVE MY DATEMATE ALONE INTRUDER

Plant: 

Plant:

Plant: [wind moves leaf]

Sans, powering up an attack: GET BEHIND ME HUMAN

You, panicked: SANS PLEASE IT’S JUST A PL-

----------

He’s a danger to society, your cat, and also a number of your plants. Try to keep him in check.

As for your sleeping habits, he may or may not scold you just like he does his brother. Sans will be a lot more lenient with you compared to his brother however, because he knows humans need plenty of rest! But he is (not) down for your eating habits. Sans will allow you to eat the food that you normally do but in regulation. If you want him to shut up about your habits just hand him one of your sodas. It’ll give him this huge sugar rush and eventually he’ll come crashing down. This method is guaranteed success but also not recommended but a soda induced sugar rush is (intense) Once again, Papyrus will vouch for that himself with how many times he’s offered up his honey to his brother.

No matter what you do he’ll be pretty bitter about how you love pasta so much. Sans would rather dust than give his Undertale self that satisfaction of his own date-mate liking pasta. He’ll just have to work hard to convince you otherwise! And quickly before UT Papyrus hears of this.

With your art, Sans will literally DIE if you draw him. He’ll get so excited and be everywhere and ramble on and on about how much he appreciates the fact that you think he’s worthy enough to draw! He’s going to prove to you that this wasn’t a bad decision! Need him to stand still? His determination will make it happen. Need him to pose dramatically? Hell, he’s perfect for that! The universe agrees as well since somehow whenever he does pose for you his cape is flying in the wind. When you’re done drawing and you show him (even if it isn’t one of him) he’ll hang it up on the fridge and brag to every single monster he knows that you’re his amazingly talented date-mate!

[taehyungtrash2-0]

Sincerely, Love and Affection

— genre ➙  fluff!!!

— words ➙  2057 bitch

— member ➙  Yuta Nakamoto

— warnings ➙  slowburn! strangers to lovers! foreigner!

Note: this was done out of inspiration from Kismet by Froggyyong! please look it up on AO3!!! So in the spirit of that all words in italics are them speaking in Japanese! This is the first of many imagines and maybe a part 2, let me know! pls take it easy on me

-----------------------

“HEY NO GO BACK” I yell at Hyuck because he can never seem to follow simple instructions. Everyone around us watching us play FIFA or on their phones, I know a few are in the kitchen doing whatever but right now I am trying to focus on kicking the other team’s ass. 

“Hey I just wanted to give everyone a heads up, my sister is stopping by in a few” Taeyong yelled over the noise in the living room. 

“Didn’t she just move back?” Mark called from the kitchen, why is everyone yelling out of nowhere, wait he has a sister? 

“Is this the sister that Johnny thirsts after” Jaehyun chuckled out and nudged Johnny.

*SMACK*

“HEY, THAT HURT” Jaehyun whined.

“How old is she?” Sicheng called from the couch. 

“HoW oLd iS SHe? What are you, 12???” Hyuck mocked him. Okay, now that was funny! 

“I do not THIRST after her.” Johnny clears his name to the group. 

“You cried when taeyong took her back to her hotel room because you couldn’t.” Ten laughed out, making everyone else start laughing with him. 

“I WAS EMOTIONAL THAT DAY!” Johnny whined, with his face getting red. 

“AS I WAS SAYING, shes going to come over and we are probably going to go to dinner so whoever wants to, can come.” he invites loudly so everyone can hear. 

“ILL GO” Johnny screeched, standing up just for Ten to put his arm in front of him,

“First of all Johnny, Hyung said ‘come’ not ‘cum’ and secondly, you have a recording session with donghyuck, jaehyun, and I at 4 o’clock,” he said in response. 

“When you try your best but you don’t succeeeeeddddd” Lucas starts yelling and Sicheng joins in, everyone laughing at Johnny all over again, myself included.

“I’m going to go get ready, everyone better have CLOTHES ON! IM LOOKING AT YOU JOHNNY!” Hyung yells leaving the room. 

*Johnny cries in zipper*

“Hyung, has a sister?” I ask Ten, keeping my eyes trained on my player. 

“Yeah, you and a few other members were busy with a photo shoot the last time she visited, remember?” he recalled, looking back at his phone. 

Oh, I never really focused on it I guess. 

-------

*knock knock*

“SHES HERE!” Hyung yells from his room. 

*CHAOS ENTERS CHAT*

*Choking sounds in the background*

“JOHNNY IS DYING HELP!” Mark yells from the kitchen and everyone starts laughing al over again. Taeyong runs through the living room and opens the door as everyone crowds into the living room to greet her. 

“Y/N!!!!!” he yells and covers her in a tight embrace. Wow, she’s a little thing, slim thick with your cute as-

“YONGIE!!!” she cheers back into his arms. AWWW even her voice is cute what the FUCK. 

“Wait, is everyone here?? Wow!” she steps back, her eyes widening at the group, you can definitely tell shes hyung’s sister. Her eyes are so big, she looks like a little doll. I can finally understand the hype on Johnny’s part. 

“Yeah, you haven’t met everyone yet,” Taeyong replied, guiding her further into the living room. 

“Everyone this is y/n!” he presented to the class. Her little form bending to greet us all in unison. 

“Hello! I’m a very big fan of the group! You all are so great! Especially this recent comeback! I have so much respect for you all!” she said sweetly, her smile is so heart-melting that everyone can’t help but smile back. It’s almost infectious. 

“She’s so sweet” Sicheng coos.

“Look how cute” Lucas whispers.

“Johnny stop drooling!” Ten elbows.

“Y/n it’s so good to see you! You moved back finally!” Mark exclaimed, pulling her into his embrace. Are they a thing? 

“Hey, Mark! It’s so good to see you too! And yeah ill text you my address so we can hang out again!” she states casually.

“AGAIN?! WHAT H-” Johnny’s voice being covered by Taeyong’s glare. 

“Hey y/n! I’ve missed you so much, no one likes to go shopping much with me but you! So as soon as you get settled and arent too busy I’m treating you to a day of shopping!”

“I’ve missed you so much too Ten! Facetiming just isn’t the same and I would LOVE to go shopping! I can’t tell you the last time a man spoiled me!” she giggled out and I nearly choked. I say nearly because Johnny audibly choked and everyone laughed at him...AGAIN

 “Hey y/n...do the thing I’ve been telling everyone about it, please!!! He has been acting like a total spaz since he heard about you coming back to Seoul.” Ten whispered to her. 

“Cmon Ten, I can’t be that mean to him!” she whined out like a little puppy.

“Pleaseeeee?” he whined back.

“Fine,” he huffed out.

 “Johnny?” she called, looking around past the group of boys until they met in gaze, he looks like he’s about to piss himself.

“Johnny!” she squealed, running to him and jumping into his arms. HIs huge form completely engulfing her, lucky little asshol-

“I think I missed you the most, you big teddy bear!” she muffled into his chest, his face turning a keen shade of red. 

“I missed you too y/n!” he almost cried, is he smelling her hair?! She slowly unwrapped herself from him, waiting to be released, and she never was.

The End. 

*Wheeze*

Taeyong stepping in to pull his sister from the giant as she winks at Ten and everyone laughing. 

“So Johnny, why didn’t you call? I thought you missed me huh?” she pouted as she trailed her little finger down his chest flirtatiously. What a minx, no wonder Johnny was such a simp. 

“I uh my um the Yong, I mean I’m aakjhladks I’m sorry, I gotta go to the restroom.” he blurted out, turning red all over again and leaving the room. God, so blatantly sexy, has a sense of humor, and she is so sweet I feel like I need a dentist on speed dial. WHAT A WOMAN LADIES AND GENTS.

“Y/n you remember Haechan and Doyoung right?” Hyung asks her, pointing them out as they wave.

“Of course! Hey!” she smiles and waves back at them, look at her so innocent and friendly. 

“Hey, y/n I love your bracelet!” Hyuck tells her.

“Aww, thanks, Channie! And how are you holding up these days Doyoung?” she asks.

“I’m barely managing but thank you y/n.” Doyoung smiles at her, heading back to the kitchen. She’s so dainty and pretty, is it bad I just want to kiss her face. Her hair looks so soft and her voice sounds like butter. What the hell is wrong with me??

“I’ve been working on this for a little while so I think I’ve got it down pat, let me try,” she tapped her finger to her cheek, making her way over to all of us.

“You are Jungwoo, the sweet voice that also is always hungry?” she asked and smiled at him.

“HAHA yeah, hello hi!” he chucked and bowed to her, politely. 

“Oh my lord, such an aegyo face!” she cheered at him as he posed for her, what a ham. 

“You are Sicheng! Your voice is great! Your hair looks amazing by the way!” she greeted.

“Awww thanks! It’s so nice meeting you y/n!” he smiled and bowed to her. 

“Taeil! Wow, your aura is just as striking in person!” she exclaimed getting to Taeil. 

“Thank you! You look just like Taeyong but prettier!” he complimented with a bow. 

“I get that a lot, especially with the hair. I like to see what colors work on him and use them to my advantage!” she laughed out. A sudden throat cleaning gets the attention Jaehyun is asking for

“And the notorious Jaehyun, who could miss such a face!” she smiles to him, he boldly grabs her hand and gives her a soft kiss to her knuckles.

“The gorgeous Y/n. I’m so sorry I had to leave so early last time,” he speaks softly to her, who does this handsome man think he is???

“Oh, its no problem at all! I understand really, I love your comeback photos by the way! The theme really suited you.” she complimented again.

“God, she is so hot! Do you think Taeyong would mind me getting her number?” Lucas whispered to Kun as everyone else was distracted. 

“Hey man, that’s his sister!” Kun commanded. 

“I know that’s why I said do you think he would mind. I mean she is so hot, I could cry!” he whispered back to him, no longer paying attention to the fact that she was now listening in as they were turned away from her. 

“I think you’re very attractive too Lucas,” she whispered like she was in on the secrets passing between their lips. Kun and Lucas jumped so high she laughed and so did I. (HOw could you not when seeing this unfold).

“Oh my god! I am so sorry about him. Hello, I’m Kun and this is-” 

“Lucas, of course, I’m actually a really big fan.” she smiled to him as he smiled back

“Oh really? Say less?” he chuckled lowly and started looking her up and down. 

“DOWN LUCAS!” Yongie called out.

“Yes, WayV is actually my second favorite band entirely.”

“Oh, that’s cool! You should meet the rest of us then!” Kun added in, getting his phone out like Lucas. 

“We should so do that!” she smiled.

“Here just give me yo-” Lucas fades into the background now… She’s looking at me... Her big doe eyes staring into mine. I feel my heart just drop to my balls. Her perfect form walking softly up to me, a gift of presence, really. 

“And of course you are Yuta.” she smiles shyly at me. 

“Hello! It’s nice to meet you y/n!” I say with the most genuine smile I think I’ve ever made.

“I think I’m a bigger fan of yours than Taeyongie’s! I was so sad I couldn’t meet you the first time!” she starts speaking to me sweetly and happily. Wait,

“You speak Japanese?” I ask, catching my jaw from its home now on the floor. 

“Yongie didn’t tell you?” she quirked in confusion, looking at him and back at me. 

“No, he just said that you moved back here, he never said anything else.” I chuckled in surprise, her pronunciation is so native-like. I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve heard such a clear pronunciation from a foreigner. 

“He’s such a dummy, I just recently graduated with a major in Japanese Literature from the University of Tokyo. I’ve been living there for almost 5 years.” she giggled.

“You have no idea how happy I am to finally talk to someone in MY language! This feels like a breath of fresh air. That is so cool! He never said a word about it.” I ramble on, wondering how someone could dePRIVE ME OF SUCH HAPPINESS.

“It’s okay, I assumed he would either brag or neglect it altogether. I’m glad you enjoy the natural conversation if you ever just want to talk or vent in a way that’s easier for you, I’m always here! That’s if you want too…” she mumbled shyly, was that blush on her cheeks? God, she is so adorable.

“Of course yeah! I would love to talk more with you. Do you think it would be too much to ask for your number?” I asked, rubbing my hand on the back of my neck. 

“Yes, Yongie can I have a pen?” she turns to her brother. With a confused face and everyone looking at her weirdly, he gives her the pen.

“All my friends back hom- well back in Tokyo all my friends call me Yua, so if that’s easier on the tongue you can call me that…” she recalled while writing her number on my palm. 

“I’ll definitely text you later, is that okay?” I asked, looking at my palm and back at her.  

“Can’t wait, it’s really nice meeting you Yuta.” she looked deeply into my eyes and took all my breath away.

“It’s nice meeting you too, Yua.” I smiled back.  

“So Taeyong, show me your room so I can steal my beloved plush back!” she turned and call to Hyung. 

No way…

[damaramegido]

pinned worm time :)

basic info

what up i’m acey jane aka anna cassidy [last name redacted] and i’m your friendly tmbg mutual from hell

gender-nonconforming cis woman (she/her), i identify strongly as Girl but societal expectations of what that should mean are fuckin bullshit that i refuse to follow!

allo lesbian and monogamous (she’s single and horny ladies!)

i’m 28 years old (2/18/1993), minors can interact but please don't get weird or age-inappropriate!

(YES I KNOW I LOOK SUPER YOUNG I HAVE GENETIC BABYFACE, BLAME MY DAD, I AM A GROWN-ASS LADY)

white (german and irish so pearl only half hates me i guess)

autistic and mentally ill, also a side helping of chronic physical illness bc fuck my life i guess

left-wing democratic socialist (albeit definitely who tries really hard to avoid political discourse online because a lot of it is Really Bad)

norcal girl, ask me for weird info about the greater sf bay area because believe me i have Stories (and an accent apparently)

lowkey definitely a they might be giants groupie (14 shows and counting!), please talk to me about tmbg because i love them more than life itself

winner of the Best Homestuck To Mainstream Fandom award (source: self)

captain of the pearlrose garbage barge, which is on fire

not the original owner of the damaramegido url but i've had it since 2015 so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(yes i'm using my canon homestuck url for a tmbg/steven universe stan blog, what of it)

fandoms and interests

steven universe

they might be giants

homestuck

gravity falls

the owl house

pokemon

animation in general

language

shitposting

fanfiction

horror and general morbid shit

true crime

internet/fandom culture and history

other cool things

other notes

i'm in a horrible friend group chat called the shitpost crew and our shenanigans are fucking legendary. (yes that link is required reading, just so you know what kind of horrid goblin bitch i truly am)

i try extremely hard to avoid discourse because it's annoying and i have better things to do. don't drag me into that shit pls...let me wallow in Trash Hell in peace

i'm generally willing to tag things for mutuals and friends, and i try to tag fairly comprehensively in general! my tags page can be found here.

i really love being sent/tagged in things, if you see something and think “hmm this seems up acey’s alley” please feel free to send it my way!

i’m also always down to make new friends in general--if you ever wanna hmu feel free to shoot me an ask or a message, i promise i don’t bite! i’m also generally willing to give my discord out, but please ask off anon if you want it so i can give it privately. c:

i'm a filthy shipper from hell and always have been, though of course i tag appropriately. here’s my shipping wall!

my blog title is a very obscure tmbg reference

yes i have a homestuck tattoo. no i do not regret it

i have a tmbg tattoo too why does no one talk about THAT?? smh

i fucked up some shrinky dinks once

i purble

john hlans. burg bi sexu

icon by @disinvited-guest, check her out for that good tmbg content!

(no my icon is not ebony dark’ness dementia raven way but i do understand why you might assume it is)

links

writing blog

art blog

ao3

twitter

deviantart

instagram

spotify

listography 

dedicated tumblr links page

[liathgray]

yes hi its me 💜💜💜 writnon 💜💜💜 which is still the cutest nickname and im glad you gave it to mee akdhsgsh

im never gonna say no if you ask if i want an example i love you and trust you and admire you So Much pls lemme see the Illegal Planning Spreadsheet

also a bitch is nonbinary (agender or voidgender but im still ??? about which cuz 🌟 voidgender 🌟 but also 🎊 agender 🎊 yknow???? i think voi/void pronouns are The Shit which honestly makes me feel like im leaning towards voidgender but who knows ill figure it out eventually qkdhdgk) anyway the point is im currently going by they/them pronouns if you dont mind!!!

p sure thats everything i wanted to say? im still: chugging along with that spreadsheet outline but its really helped me keep track of everything yhat goes everywhere!!! 🤩🤩🤩 so thats good

as always theres no pressure to qmswer i hope youre doing well oMG i just remembered: i got accepted into the uni i applied to!!!! so ill hopefully be transferring there in the fall if all goes well 😃😃😃😃

qldjdhsk alright Now i think its everything akdhdjdld

stay safe i love you

- writing anon

ik i said voi/void but also like(its writnon again hi),,,,,, the idea of being referred to as galaxyself or starself is making me *vibrates at a speed unknown to man* wish there was a non clunky way to use black holes as a neopronoun but its chill ig

no one:

not anyone:

not a single person:

me: ik im writnon but im gonna be So Goddamn Nonbinary in ceces inbox today akdbdbdk

(its writnon again sorry) but then again pronouns arent indicative of gender identity and i am p comfy in the agender, yknow? its nice every time i say it to myself any and all dysphoria gets thanos snapped, i think i just think void pronouns are v v pretty like galaxy pronouns are,,,, like bruh,,,, imagine being referred to as a galaxy like,,,, multitudes??? bro i contain a universe inside me how about that nebulas, black holes, stars thatre born and grow and die only to be pulled back together like arent we all made of stardust??? the iron in my veins is the same iron that burns in the heart of stars and holds them together like its so pretty and powerful

akdhsks sorry its just someone asked me during class yesterday about my pronouns (i have them set to they/them on the website i use for college) qnd they wanted to know if they were using my preferred name i 🥺🥺🥺🥺 im still on the gender high yknow????? -writnon

LMAO dude its chill I’m also mega superhell nb so I don’t mind the rambles!

So.. okay should I go with they/void? I mean I’m probably not gonna be referring to y'all too often with pronouns BUT you did give me a lot go options! I just wanna be sure on which are chill to use!

Sidebar wow I... don’t think I’ve ever really viewed it like that. I’m glad you’re able to find some part of yourself in this idea of galaxies and something universal.. something with multitudes.... something thats still in and a part of you. That’s just. I’ve never framed it like that to myself before! And I just love that for you sm! It makes me so happy and excited to see the ways people connect with gender cause its so abstract and personal... wow..

Also I TOTALLY get the Gender Euphoria!! Like, okay recently I decided fuck it im bored and wanna take a class. First day the TA asked for names and pronouns and everyone has been using they/them for me since!! hearing people say it out loud really just Hits Different and im not out to ppl I see irl so... I maybe had to turn off my cam and cry lmao.

gender euphoria pt 2 electric boogaloo: I got my first binder recently!!! I put it on and Oh My God the?? the FEELING??? I was smiling so hard all day and jumping around cause I didn't know this is what being in your own body was supposed to feel like!!!! aaannddd now im rambling too lmao 

tl;dr: I love that for u and 100000% get the gender high MWAH