#im SO fucking sorry. im a birthday boy at heart im so so sorry

[kylejsugarman]

happy birthday to the babyest baby that every babyed!! how do they celebrate baby’s first birthday together as a family? how does present-day baby feel about being 20? how does au squared fam celebrate baby’s third birthday once theyre disappeared to alaska? how does present-day au squared baby feel about being 16?

anon hitting ALL of the possible universes and scenarios in one question like beating me with clubs and sticks 😭 thank u for the questions and saving me from having to write an annoying, unprovoked post!! ill try to keep these brief so im not putting a gd novelization on everyone's dashes

their first birthday as a "family" is baby's seventh, where jesse's only known demi for like 5 months and doesnt know what the rules are for something like this, but hes saved from any awkward questions by demi calling him like (royal advisor going door to door to every person in the kingdom to invite them to the ball) "baby would like to see u if then if that's ok." of course its ok, but now he's gotta get her a present!! hes still getting the hang of carving and woodworking in a more professional, advanced sense and decides to practice his new skills by carving her a little dolphin that looks like the stuffed one she's always carrying around. theres no birthday party like the kind he remembers from childhood ("baby's not very. Into that kind of thing," demi says charitably later when he asks her about it. which Is true), just him and demi and mason having dinner at ihop before going back home for some gifts and a "the spongebob movie" viewing party. baby doesnt make much of a fuss but shes Very excited to open her presents and when she opens jesse's gift, she gets more excited and animated than hes ever seen her before as she describes each of the dolphin's fins to him and then (following a gentle "what do u say?" from demi) thanks him with a little hug of his arm. because of her joyful reaction, he carves her a sea creature for every birthday going forward and is now giving her a tiny wood barracuda for her collection as he and demi make the long drive up to fairbanks to visit baby at school for her twentieth birthday!! they're going to spend the weekend with her :) and though they dont say anything significant about it, they're both really happy that when they go back to their hotel this evening, baby is going to be spending time with some of her new college friends to celebrate :') shes kind of ambivalent as always about "turning" twenty and still doesnt really feel like an adult or anything close, but she does feel more comfortable and content about moving forward this birthday more so than any other beforehand. twenty feels like a big number and shes not as scared or lonely or anxious as she thought she'd be

god, au squared fam.....Au Squared Fam. this is literally the first time jesse's able to actually physically be there with baby on her birthday other than like. the Day of her birth. after missing the first two due to rehab and Being A Slave. he almost doesnt know what to do because its really just the three of them, they've made some tentative acquaintances here in alaska since arriving, but neither of them have families anymore and baby's fully three and thus doesnt Know anyone, so its almost like. what do u do?? he rarely lets baby out of his sight anyway, how's her birthday going to be any different?? demi convinces him to throw a little party in their kitchen to at least set the Tone and even though its just some streamers and balloons and a little grocery store bakery cake with some questionably accurate sesame street characters piped onto it, it really does make the occasion feel festive. they both feel like things might be ok :) baby doesnt really comprehend the Significance and freaks the fuck out when they light the "3" shaped candle (thats fire!! in the house!!), but she has a good time and is stoked to see elmo on a cake and plays "bap the air-filled balloon around the living room" with her parents for a solid 2 hours. its all so beautifully mundane, so normal and safe and quiet. jesse knows that baby doesnt really understand what birthdays mean and that he wasnt there for her first two (only that he Wasnt There in general for a while), but he can't help feeling periodically guilty and overwhelmed and just holding onto her so nothing can ever separate them again. and present day au squared baby is having a sweet sixteen!! just a tiny one (and no car, the dyspraxia still reigns in this universe) in their backyard, which is decorated, and baby and her friends are all dressed up so they can take fun pictures. demi sets out tons of flowers and jesse gets a baby shower cake that says "congratulations on the baby!" for the Bit, which baby honestly loves. she knows why hes so All In about her birthday and being a good dad in general, so she takes a second to tell him that she loves him and always will no matter what :')

[mydearesthrry]

birthday wishes - h.s.

a/n: hi … this is long. it ends abruptly and im v sorry! apologies for my absence,,, enjoy :))

🎀 warnings/cw: nothing but fluff

🐇 pairing: 1dbandmember!reader x harry styles

💐 wc: n/a

summary: every year, Y/N posts something for harry’s birthday. every single year, no matter what.

a/n: pls keep in mind harrys relationship timeline or this wont make as much sense..? ok bye

2012

liked by niallhoran, zaynmalik, and 2,378,615 others

yourinstagram: Happy birthday goof!! Thanks for always tuning my guitars for me. I can’t believe you are 18!!!!!!!!!

view 79,058 comments

harrystyles: Thaaaaaanks. I love youuuu. <3 <3 <3

user1: SHE CALLS HIM GOOF UGGGGHHHHHH

user2: i cant believe that this picture is real

user3: THE HEARTS IN HARRYS COMMENT

niallhoran: no bday post for me?? D:

2013

liked by niallhoran, dakotajohnson, dontshakethepolaroid, and 3,008,263 others

yourinstagram: happy birthday h. u are 19. thats crazy. i owe my life to u thank you for being my best friend— thank you for you. i love u so so much bub :’)

comments on this post have been limited

niallhoran: h day!!! time to celebrattteeeeee!!!!!!

annetwist: love you sweetheart!

harrystyles: I love youuuuuu!!!! Thank you lovebug. <3

zaynmalik: time to get drunk!

2014

liked by niallhoran, zendaya, sabrinacarpenter, and 108,862 others

yourinstagram: its a national holiday!! happy birthday to my best friend, confidant, songwriting partner, and personal pillow. UR FUCKING 20. THATS INSANE. i love u so much pickle :’)

comments on this post have been limited

gemmastyles: old man!!!

harrystyles: Thank you Olive :) Love you tons.

niallhoran: a special lads birthday!

zaynmalik: 🍻

jamescorden: pickle and olive!

2015

liked by arianagrande, wherearetheavocados, and 6,826,728 others

yourinstagram: love you prince boy, happy birthday ❤️

view 198,726 other comments

harrystyles: My favorite person alive. Xx

niallhoran: legal in the states!!!!

user1: his comment is so casual but so cutw i cant 😭😭😭

user2: i am so unstable shes literally posted every time on his birthday for years

user3: NEW PHH CONTENT!!!!!

ynrryupdates: our suspicions were right! she posted again this year ❤️❤️❤️

2016

liked by tomholland2016, liampayne, annetwist, and 5,276,266 others

yourusername: hbd har <3 thank you for everything

view all 99,251 comments

user1: no special note… i think we’re losing them

user2: :( not the same this year

user3: i think she’s holding back now because he’s official with kendall?

harrystyles: Thank you, it was wonderful seeing you. H

user4: this is weird…. harry’s comment isnt sitting right with me…?

gemmastyles: missed your face!!!!!!!!!! love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

2017

liked by harrystyles, selenagomez, marikoluv, and 4,726,629 others

yourinstagram: happy birthday pickle, miss you <3

view all 99,625 comments

annetwist: Missed seeing you! Come back and visit soon ❤️

harrystyles: Thank you Olive. Love you. Miss you more.

gemmastyles: missed my best friend ❤️❤️❤️

user1: are we… are we finally getting them back….

user2: slowly going back to normal………

user3: HES SO DRY 😭

user4: he said love you 😭😭😭😭😭 miss you more 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

2018

liked by harrystyles, taylorswift13, sabrinacarpenter, and 6,276,151 others

yourinstagram: tbt our frat days 🤓 miss you always my bug, happy birthday ❤️ i love love you

view all 71,620 comments

harrystyles: Be home soon, I miss you more than anything. Love you love you love you. Thank you. H x

gemmastyles: I NEED you to come over when you’re back in London!!!!!!!

annetwist: My baby! ❤️🎁🎉

user1: OH WE GOT THEM BACKKKKKK!!!!!!

user2: now that harrys a freeeeeee man we can get ynrry back like weve always dreamed of!

user3: HER bug… im unwell

2019

liked by harrystyles, billieeilish, liampayne, and 4,276,991 others

yourusername: our time now, silly boy. happy birthday to my soulmate, lover, best friend… and everything else in between. i admire everything you do and I feel like the luckiest person alive to have the privilege of knowing you, cherishing you, and caring for u. that being said, i love you i love you i love you so much it hurts. thank you for choosing me. happy birthday pickle ❤️

view all 89,715 comments

harrystyles: There’s no one in this world I love more than you. Thank you, baby. Very grateful for you, Olive. Xxx

jamescorden: FINALLY

billieeilish: thank GOD this has been the hardest secret to keep 😭😭😭😭

sabrinacarpenter: mom n dadddddd

annetwist: My babies ❤️🎂

user1: OH MY FUCKING GOD

user2: STOP I KNEW IT

user3: FINALLLYYYYYYYY

user4: IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL MY DAMN LIFE

2020

liked by harrystyles, arianagrande, gemmastyles, and 4,917,899 others

yourinstagram: havent missed a year so why start now? happy birthday h, i love you so much ❥ p.s. ur fiance era looks so good on u ;)

view all 105,918 comments

harrystyles: Thank you. And I agree; I’ve never looked better. ❤️

user1: WHATTTTTT THE FUCK

user2: THEYRE ENGAGED???!!!!!!!!!!

user3: remember in 2013 when they got asked a question on the this is us panel about how they dreamed of proposing/being proposed to and Y/N said in italy… he def proposed when they filmed golden

2021

liked by user1, harrystyles, billieeilish, and 6,818,809 others

yourinstagram: first outing as newlyweds,,, only right to be celebrating pickles birthday too. bug… i trust u implicitly and love you entirely. my husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy birthday harry ❤️

comments on this post have been limited

harrystyles: Soulmate. Thank you baby. H

sabrinacarpenter: cats out the bag… mom and dad are married !!!

annetwist: Official daughter ❤️❤️❤️

[weebsinstash]

Ohmygod your thoughts on Yandere Miguel give me life

Idk how your blog works so feel free to ignore and delete this ask but I have some thoughts I'd like your take on

So platonic yandere Miguel with a teen reader who's crushing on a villain from her universe (im a sucker for the enemies to lovers trope </3). And villain reciprocates feelings but is obviously evil (i can't fix them I'll love them for it) so Miguel HATES it even more.

And I'm imagining that villain is also a yandere so there's just gonna be so much drama like AHDISHDUSHD

But yes this idea has been bouncing around in my head alot

If you give me permission I shall come in here with more thoughts on this if I get them

Anygays have a nice day or night make sure to stay hydrated!!!

*Tyler the creator voice* ok ok ok ok ok

so, I was thinking of something earlier, and, I forgot to grab a screenshot of it, but, extremely incredibly minor ATSV spoiler, when Miles is being shown the holograms of the Spiderverse, another series of canon events that is shown is every Spider having some sort of Symbiote experience (as in Venom, which, I have to admit, I'm uh, not extremely knowledgeable on Spiderman lore, I've been out of the game with this series since like grade school, I used to be big on DC and TMNT and hero shit, so, yeah)

Reader is just crushing on like, some evil Eddie Brock or some bad boy with a Symbiote, and dedicated/obsessive Papá Miguel instantly recognizes when your moods and behaviors start to change, more rebellious, more moody, you're becoming a bit more assertive, but not always in the good way, you're hurting people, maybe even stealing and other petty crimes. He presses you on who you've been hanging out with because APPARENTLY you've been sneaking off your watch so you can't inherently be tracked or spied on or contacted

Some drama ass shit like, Miguel has been trying to reach you because you both have some sort of really sentimental or important date coming up, maybe the anniversary of when he first met you or your birthday or his birthday where you both were supposed to do something nice together, something that's been planned and talked about for ages, and then, this rebellion stuff begins and, the date comes and you completely ghost him, he can't find you, contact you, he's frustrated and angry but also worried because what if you're hurt? What if his baby girl is HURT 🥺 SURELY that's the ONLY reason you wouldnt show up and break your poor stressed beloved daddy's heart liks this 🥺 and he finally finds you and you're totally fine, it's just like "haha sorry 'dad' I was getting railed by my evil big tall hunky villain boyfriend and also I have a Symbiote now, look at my spooky black costume, im evil now :)" and here's Miguel like "NOOO PRINCESA 😭😱✝️", but, technically he's only able to interfere in certain ways, like, maybe he can pressure you to break up with this guy but your Symbiote is canon and whether you defeat it and get rid of it or somehow master it and befriend it like say Ghost Spider, that isn't up to him, he can only pressure you but he can't MAKE you do anything, at least, not directly

You're running around having your rebellious Evil Girl Autumn and he's trying to, you know, steer you back onto the path of righteousness and all that and the harder he tries to control you the angrier you're getting until you're even losing your temper and throwing things at him or eventually physically attacking him (to which he's forced to overpower you which, you two have sparred before but this is different and it breaks his heart). You throw your watch at him and tell him to go fuck himself, that you hate him, that you never want to see him again, but you're crying and he takes this as a sign you aren't serious (which, you aren't, not 100% completely, you kinda lowkey ARE having a huge temper tantrum and rebellious phase and being a criminal brat, but, like.... spiderverse babyyyy we got Spider powers, shit has no consequences, or so it feels like to you at the time, and the Symbiote is maybe questionably evil and corrupting your thoughts)

Oh I just realized you said teen reader and here I am talking about getting railed 💀 maybe the villain is a teen too or just a few years older than you but either way like. Miguel doesn't want his sweet innocent pure virginal baby girl having sex! With anyone! Especially before marriage! (Although i was hearing he's kind of a slut in the comics?) He ever finds that shit out it's like, A CRISIS EVENT. He's like that one stereotype of brothers/fathers who hate seeing their sister/daughter date because that's the baby the raised/grew up with. Picture having an argument with him and you're just trying to piss him off and like, it's true but in anger you say "OH YEAH? oh YEAH??? Well, well, you know how you hate Hobie Brown so much?! We've been dating JUST TO MUTUALLY SPITE YOU, and you know what, i actually like him, and he likes me! Maybe we'll hook up for real! Maybe I'll FUCK HIM, DAD :) maybe we'll HAVE A BABY TOGETHER, DAD :)"

Like girlie nooooo you're getting put into The Biggest Time-Out The Multiverse Has Ever Seen. You think getting locked up in a room would be bad, NO, because at least you'd have some vague sense of privacy and personal space. You're now on 24/7 Daughter Duty, with him literally all the time except for, bathing and that stuff. He's dragging you around, making you accompany him, controlling what you're allowed to do, really an extended prolonged punishment. Hss making you sit in his office or whatever while he works and you'll be absolutely fucking bored out of your mind because you're basically given nothing to do, have no phone, no tasks really. He's not outright hurting or abuse you but it's a kind of psychological burden for you, but from his perspective he's just, basically guarding you like a dedicated father, protecting his baby from tarnishing her reputation, her body, and otherwise when he isn't there. CLEARLY he has a lot more fathering to give you than he originally thought

[bambisnc]

you attack my heart~! [ft. p.wb]

pairing : wonbin x reader! genre : fluff n crack cw/tw : use of caps + swearing + there's mentions of an exo concert </3 + sungchan can't keep secrets wc : 258 w !

"but you can't tell him now that you know okay?!"

wonbin's birthday party with his members, a couple of other friends and you of course, was going pretty well.

until, sungchan discovered from shotaro that all of you had planned an additional gift for the guy : tickets to an upcoming EXO concert! and boy was he upset about it..

"no because this is just sooo typical of you guys. literally whenever something happens i'm always the last one to know."

"hey, don't blame me!! this was yn's idea..." shotaro exclaims, defending himself from his friend's harsh glare only to be immediately subjected to one from you.

"way to go 'taro.. and that's not true sungchan! we do tell you stuff??"

"no we don't", eunseok interrupts you, "but channie you're not the best at keeping secrets are you? ♡︎ "

this obviously only aggravates him further, "yes i am; what do you mean?!! didn't i keep the anton-sohee-seunghan camping trip thing a secret?? oh also!," he points at you and you're very worried of where this will lead, "i kept your crush on the boy of the day a secret~"

"SUNGCHAN." you can feel your face heating up rapidly.

"yn..," wonbin, chooses the exact moment that sungchan reveals this to walk over, and with his tone dripping with shock goes, "you- you a crush on me??!!"

you very eloquently respond by basically running away shouting out a, "sungchan count your fucking days" forcing out an "I'M SO SORRY" from him.

"oh this is the best birthday ever." well at least the birthday boy's happy, right?

a/n : happy wonbin dayyyyyyyy and if someone got that this is inspired from the blackout ep of friends im sending you a marriage proposal rn + CHUU HEART ATTACK FTW + [m.list]

[jerefishvr]

light sub xavier thorpe x wolf!reader who's in heat 🤭🤭

beggin' you ! 🧷 ָ࣪ 𓏲⋆.

⨳ 𓏲˖ 🪩 ˖ ࣪

xavier thorpe x reader ִֶָ ꒱𓂃✦៹

WARNINGS : SMUT !! scratching , fingering ( masturbation ) , mentions of hair pulling , biting kink if you squint

summary : in which, xavier's gf is ignoring him as to not hurt him cause she's going through her first cycle of heat, while he doesn't know why until a pink haired werewolf spits out the truth 🕯️୨♡୧  ִ° ⋆

Days passed, weeks passed. Each day getting longer and longer for Xavier. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes into hours, and hours into days. Time passed by so slowly when you weren't next to him.

Your sweet and lovely boyfriend, Xavier Thorpe who you oh, loved so much and had no choice but to ignore him as you were going through your heat. You loved that boy with your whole heart and you wouldn't dare to hurt him in any way possible, even if it meant not seeing him for literally weeks.

Today he finally decided he had enough. He was confused on why you were ignoring him and barely showing up to any classes, so he tooks the matters into his own hands and went to ask Enid if it was a werewolf thing, and surely, she did give him a whole lecture about what "heat" was,so he went to your dorm in case you needed any medicine..

You, laying there, with your pussy stuffed of your fingers and your tits hanging out of the pink sweater Xavier gifted you on your birthday last year. Juices flowing down your thighs and your eyes seal closed while your mouth was hang open.

You didn't notice until you heard his whine, looking at him with your legs spread open, your pussy on display as you desperately searched for the cover.

"What are you doing here?! Leave!" You yelled in concern ( and also embarrassment ). You could almost feel yourself about to cry, your orgasm ruined and your mood changing every minute passing by.

"I-i- just came here to check up on you- Enid explained to me what a "heat" is and i wanted to see if you needed any medicine" Xavier said slowly, careful not to make you angrier. Your head fell down and now, hot tears were streaming down your face.

"Im sorry, i really am. It's just been difficult for me, i didn't know it'd happen here" You explained while looking him in the eyes. He took small steps towards you while caressing your face and wiping your tears.

"It's okay angel, don't worry. Do you need help with continuing what you were doing?" An angelic smile plastered on his face, while his words were quite the opposite. You nodded and immediately grabbed his belt so you could take off his pants.

He smirked and looked down at you, thinking you were gonna wrap your lips around his cock, only to be met by your cold and demanding gaze that was instructing him to sit on the bed.

He sat down, unsure of where your sudden personality change came from, but when he felt his dick getting enveloped by your pussy's warmth, he forgot everything that was previously on his mind.

You rocked your hips against his own, grinding on his lap and moaning as he brushed against your g-spot.

You took a handful of Xavier's hair and watched him as he whined all over again, begging for you to go faster. Instead, you slowed down and grabbed his jaw, while still making sure he was balls deep inside you.

He cried out and grabbed your hips trying to make you move again, but instead you just smirked and laughed at his pathetic tries.

"Beg for it" You demanded, waiting for him to talk only to be met by his pleading eyes and his red, plump lips.

"Please mommy move, i need it so bad just ugh- im begging you, let me cum please" His pathetic begs were heard throughout the whole room and that did more than just satisfy you as you began bouncing once again on his dick.

His dick was covered with your juices, the sound of your pussy squealing only bringing him closer to the edge.

Your clit rubbed against his waist as you fucked him,the intense pleasure making you bite his neck while accidentally scratching his back while trying to steady yourself.

The loud whimper that left his mouth gave you the permission to suck harder on his neck, feeling him moan louder, knowing he was closer.

"Come for mommy, fill me up with your cum, fuck give me all your cum" You screamed while continuing to ruin him with all the strength you had in your body.

He came, shooting his load into you with a loud gasp as he felt you clench around him and came with him. He pulled out of you with a groan, already missing your cunt's sweet warmth.

He fell on the bed and looked at you with sleepy eyes. "Feel any better now?" He asked with a concern laced voice as his eyes traveled to your peaceful face with a smile.

"Yeah, much better. Thank you" You laughed and kissed his rozy lips. An "I love you" fell from your lips along with a "goodnight" and a sweet kiss on the forehead as he smiled at your gentle actions.

He laid his head on your chest while you played with his hair in your half awake half asleep state.

"I love you too" He whispered before drifting off to a deep sleep.

[cipher-zoo]

First off to the birthday anon you own me financial compensation because one gonna be thinking about that forever

And kinda expanding on that maybe when buggy is a bit older its his birthday again and this time they didnt forget and they get a party set up that night. And then buggy doesnt show up. He is gone for hours and they are freaking out. Its well past midnight when buggy shows up scuffed and bruised but okay.

And they are demanding where is was at and why he didnt come to his own birthday party and to that buggy is just dismissively like “oh that was today”

And when the press further about where he was (cuase he wont tell anyone) he is just in general confused he is like “ sorry about the party but like you usually dont care when im usuallyout”

And before his mind can catch up Rayliegh ask “ what do you mean your usually out?”

And the look and buggys face is enough to tell them they once again fucked up and now everyone is trying to remember the last they saw buggy actually on the ship whenever their docked.

Buggy had assumed they knew when he was gone and just never asked either becuase they trusted him or just didnt care, they hadnt left him yet (there had been some close calls). He bother to hear the rest and just heads off to bed

Reggie, my friend! You can't demand financial compensation and then break MY heart in return! What did I do? I'm just the messenger here - well, a very unreliable messenger who adds their own thoughts and takes to other people's messages 🤔 ... but a messenger nonetheless!

All this being said, holy hell, I love this.

I have this Headcanon that, over the years, Buggy turned out to be a far bigger troublemaker than Shanks. At least on one hand, because he had less to lose than Shanks - after all Shanks was the golden boy, and we can't ignore that that must have put a lot of pressure on his shoulders as well - and on the other hand, because Buggy, as we know him, just gets himself into the most miserable situations. [Rayleigh definitely had to have the 'you can't follow strangers, just because they tell you they have treasure in the back of their carriage' conversation with Buggy MULTIPLE times]

Now I'm not just saying this to ramble, but because I think that maybe this is how the situation could have started.

When he was younger, Buggy would every now and again get in trouble for staying away from the ship for too long. I believe in the early days this was by no means on purpose, he was simply set on some goal or another that had him so focused he simply forgot to get back in time (that, or he got in trouble). Which in turn would get him stuck with more chores or maybe being stuck with guard duty for the next island etc.

But over the years, Buggy noticed that he would get in trouble less and less often. And he started to assume that Rayleigh simply realized that he could trust Buggy to stay out longer, since he was getting older and even if he wasn't as strong as Shanks, he could defend himself if necessary.

Only then to realize that the real reason was that nobody even NOTICED that he wasn't there... yeah, that must have hurt.

I don't know if you listen to musicals, but there is this song: "Superboy and the Invisible Girl" from the musical Next to Normal. And I have to say, this whole situation reminds me of that a lot.

Thank you very much for sharing these thoughts with me. Even if it hurts.

[Also, part of me feels like I need to write some happy Roger Pirate head canons, because as I said, I love them so much, and I know I am portraying them in a negative light a lot right now, but that's just one verse of them I could see!]

[bcolfanfic]

all the #young vet au world building and background posts are sooo good <3

would love love love to know more about how the boys were able to 'date' when they first got together - the stuff you're already explored (like the first kiss) makes my heart ache with the cuteness

(i'm sorry if i missed it but are they the same age as the #mota boys here?)

good luck with your busy week :)

yeahh the ages are more or less the same!!! i have it in my head (and in the planning doc for the during-war fic that may or may not be written...eventually) that gale enlists when he's 21/bucky is 3 years older than him. i ended up bumping curt's age up by a year bc i wanted him to have an extra year on bucky lol, and ken is still the wittle baby of the gang! everyone else i could not tell you their birthdays off the top of my head anyways lmfao so you can just assume theyre the same age as they are in the show/historically. putting a chunk of my during-war planning doc below for ref but it is very word salady so sorry about that!

(while i loveee hyperrealism i am fucking a whole lot with how exactly tech school works bc i still wanted the bucks to both be pilots alongside being security forces/EOD and that's...not exactly how the air force works in reality lol. the path to be a pilot is completely diff then basic -> tech school. butttt this is a work of fanfic so in the interest of grinding my teeth and taking some creative liberties flight school is built into tech school and they maybe continue flight training while they're in africa. also random side bar, re: actually fully leaving the air force aftert they leave afghanistan, i currently have croz in my mind as staying in. lives in the uk bc he ended up getting sent to a RAF base that supports the us air force there, maybe RAF mildenhall? rosie also stays in for a lil longer because he almost goes down the JAG path but decides not to. still have to figure out what exactly im doing with the others outside of the core four who do just get straight out (core four as in bucky/gale/curt/ken).)

anyyways....to your actual question LOL. like i've said before i think it gets more practical when they're in afghanistan. obv *war wise* its more chaotic but they have their lil bunk room with curt and dickie and can let their guard down a little more. not just with them but with the other guys that they become closer with. it's still not ideal and they still can't manitain a relationship like they'd be able to in the states but. they find 'their things'. when i was messing with tech school stuff i threw around something that curt kinda ribs at them for being sitting practically in each other's laps on the couch when reading for class. and given how bookish they both are (gale more non-fictiony, bucky fiction) i think that'd be a cute lil something they do overseas too as ~enrichment time~. and if one or both of em has had a really rough day maybe instead of doing their own silent reading one of them reads out loud to the other one. it's just comforting <3 its the little things that are the Big things over there bc it does take an actual effort to make even that time for each other y'know? apparently bagram had a tiny subway that was open 24 hours a day, makes me chuckle thinking about them going there at odd hours, maybe when they can't sleep, just to be together when its mostly quiet.

[therealmilfdennys]

Hey hey hey!! i saw that billy with makeup hc and im BEGGING you to write a domtop!male reader x subbtm!billy fic 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 Smt like billy surprising the reader when they get home and reader fucks him so good thebmakeup is totally ruined YES YES YES

Billy Hargrove x Male!Reader

HI, I"M NOT DEAD SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG LOL. I took some creative liberty so. This is just barely proofread so I am Sorry. CW: Feminization(like a lot I'm so sorry), a little hurt/comfort, insinuated internalized homophobia, dacryphilia, boys in panties yall, smut obvi. MDNI i do Not want to be sued.

It starts off small, and slow. BIlly knows he’s handsome, takes very good care of himself to look that way. HIs hair and skin and pretty red lips, how good he smells. It’s all out of a need to look hot constantly. It starts to pick up when he moves out and in with you. He finds out about skincare, becomes obsessed. Reads every catalog he can get his hands on, 10 Tips and Tricks on Clear Skin and Mary Kay. 

It hits him just how attracted he is to the feminine side of hygiene one night when Max and El are staying over. A year and a half after the Mindflayer, eight months after Vecna. The girls are watching Pretty in Pink and painting their nails. Billy sits with them, biding his time till you come home from work, reading Little Women for the fourth time. The girls chatter over colors, Eleven has already picked a bright cherry red, claiming it matches Max’s hair. Max is considering a nice, deep and sparkly blue color or black and Billy pipes up without thinking. “Blue will match your eyes, shitbird.” Flushes a pretty pink, and ducks his head back down to faux read. 

Eleven pipes up then, innocent and gentle in her sweet little way. “You should do Billy’s too, Max. He would look nice.” 

And so when you arrive home, beat from your shift at the Krogers outside of town to find Billy watching Real Genius with the girls, his nails clean and painted a pretty sparkly pink. You’re pleasantly surprised. The blonde goes a nice red color when you take his hand, inspect his nails without judgment. “Very pretty baby, s’a good color on you.” Is your response, and you can see the tension seep from his shoulders, his nervous grin go lazy and smug. “Yeah yeah, keep it in your pants.” 

A month later is when the make up starts making an appearance. Small add-ins here and there. A nice pink lipgloss, a little mascara, some gold powder on his eyelids to go out to dinner. He’s drawn to things his mother used to wear, nothing heavy or cakey. Nice and delicate, like how he wishes he was. 

His appearance is met with the same response from you everytime. “Gorgeous, baby.” or “So pretty Bills.” It makes him turn a pretty pink everytime, look down a little bashful before he shakes into his normal Billy Hargrove persona. 

The curiosity crescendos about two months after that. You’ve been swamped with work, as has Billy who got a small job at Melvalds with Joyce. You’re just walking through the door, but you could hear the music from outside. Billy’s favorite Zeppelin tape, spitting out Dazed and Confused from the shitty little record player you’d gotten him for his birthday. 

You walk in, shut the door gently, not wanting to possibly disturb him. Your shoes and coat placed by the door. “Bills?” You call, walking down the hall to your shared room. 

A clatter then, something falling over and hitting the floor with a thunk. Your heart seizes for a moment, rushing through the door before you can think. “Billy are you- o…kay?” You ask, dazed and suddenly hot all over. 

There is Billy Hargrove, hair done up all pretty, a dark smokey eye smeared over his lids nicely, sparkly gloss on his lips. The kicker though, is the lace bulging with the print of his cock, peaking from underneath his muscle tee. You stare, bewildered and more than turned on, straining in your jeans uncomfortably. “Hey baby.” You greet, wide eyed and lips parted. 

Billy stands stock still, you can see his lip tremble from where you stand in the door way. His eyes are getting watery and his voice trembles when he speaks. “You’re home early.”

It makes you bark a laugh, walk over to the record player and turn the music down. “Uh..Uh yeah, somebody picked up the night shift so I didn’t have to..stay/” You breathe, turn to take him in again, biting your lip. “You look nice, baby, s’this all for?” You ask, and he releases a trembley breath, a wet laugh that doesnt sound genuine. You walk over to him, cup his cheeks gently. 

“Was gonna…wash it off. Before you got home.” He chokes out, voice thick with emotion, the lump in his throat growing. The admittance makes you frown. “Why would you do that, sweet thing? Hate me that much?” You pout, stroke your thumb under his eye to swipe away a fallen eyelash. He leans into your hand, sighs. “Uh uh..Didn’t uh. Didn’t think you’d like it..s’all.” 

You’ve never seen him so nervous, not even when he first got back from the Upside Down. Not when you asked him out. He’s looking up at you with those pretty blue eyes, wet and so blue compared to the dark coal around them. 

“Where you gonna keep…these?” Your hand slides up under his shirt, settles on his hip to thumb over the fabric of his panties. God, he goes cherry at that, opens his mouth once, twice, settles for a shake of his head. That makes you tut gently, click your tongue disappointed. “My sweet boy, can’t believe you’d hide this from me.” You tease, make him whine. He’s pressed right up against you, hums and bites his lip when he feels your hardness pressed into his hip. “Gonna have to make up for that, hm? Think that’s fair?” 

He let out a breathless “Yes.” and all bets are off. 

These stupid satin sheets you’d splurged on are godsend against BIlly’s skin, his thighs and tummy freshly shaved. He’s spread out on his back, shirt gone and fully exposed, save his pretty black lace panties that do nothing to hide his cock. His lip gloss is a bit smeared, a byproduct of you kissing him silly a few moments ago. 

You’re between his legs, in only your boxers, nosing and kissing at his inner thighs, marveling at how soft and supple the skin is. “My pretty baby,” You start, running your nose along the length of him through the soaked material. “You’re so hard, B. Ruining those pretty panties.” You tease, a light scolding tone that makes him keen. His hands are gripping the sheets, and he’s staring down at you reverent and a little nervous as to what’s next. 

“Should eat you out, get you off with my tongue and fingers like you’re my girl.” Billy groans loud, tosses his head back and slings an arm over his face for good measure. You grin and chuckle. Spread him open just a bit more. “Oh you like that, huh baby?” And hes nodding so furiously you’re scared he’s rubbing the make up off for a split second. Ruining it before you can do it yourself. 

He opens up so sweetly, whimpering and whining and moaning like a slut when your fingers work him open. Those little panties pulled justt enough to the side.  There’s little tears in his lash line, making them clump up so prettily. His cock is drooling through the lace by the time your cock is pressed up against his pretty little hole. 

“Mm, want me to fuck you, sweet thing? Need it?” You hum, gentle and warm and Billy sobs. “Yes, yes please baby please. In me please.” 

Who are you to deny him, truly? 

He cums so quickly like this, worked up from the emotional turmoil and gentle, deep fucking you give him. Damn near feels you in his throat, pressed so close together, legs pushed up as far as they’ll go. “Uh uh uh, please. Please cum..want it..want it in me please please please.” And fuck does he beg pretty, you can’t help but cum deep in him when he begs so sweetly. Looking up at you, make up ruined, mascara running. Looking debauched. 

Its after the clean up and come down, after the soft, gentle kisses you leave on his cheek and shoulder, over hickies and finger print shaped bruises that he speaks up. “I uh, I take it the make up was appreciated?” He croaks out, throat sore from crying and whining all night. 

You laugh out loud, shoulders shaking and mouth pressed into his pec. “Yes, yes very much so.” 

It’s safe to say the lingerie and mascara don’t leave the bedroom scene anytime soon.

[laladellakang]

OMGG i'm so honored that you will let me see the draft of you futur post if I want to and OFC i want to you're like one of my fav author/writer on tumblr so why i would not want to see one of your draft ?! Like really i'm currently so shocked 🥹🥹 i love youuuuu ( and Lala too ofc my girl ) 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

OKAY SO HERE IT IS, MAJORRR FIC SPOILER AND ITS SO SO BAD IM SO NOT PROUD OF IT. IT MAKES NOOOO SENSE (i mean it does but doesnt at the same time) but it was your birthday yesterday and i really wanted to give you a gift. please look forward to the revised and BETTER ver of this soon! 🤍

contains: angst. mentions of cheating (mainly jay)

The world is fucking different. 

Something is off, and I can sense it. Everything just feels strange.

Today, I went to campus for a lecture and ended up accidentally falling asleep in class. No big deal, right? It's not like it hasn't happened before.

The big deal was how odd everything was when I left the room.

I was supposed to be picked up by the car and taken home, but after waiting for ten minutes, there was no sign of it. 

I tried calling our driver, but the call got disconnected. I attempted to reach out to Sungho and Yunji, but their calls were disconnected too. I even tried calling every manager contact on my phone, but nothing worked. Plus it's not like I don't have any signal, it just wouldn't connect for some reason. Something about the numbers not existing.

I decided to take a taxi, hoping it wouldn't cause any trouble. But even the ride home felt odd. Seoul looked... different.

I texted the boys that I was on my way with a taxi and that I feel a bit off. I didn't get a reply or a single read, not even from Jungwon.

But it's whatever! I just wanna get home and cuddle with whoever's free.

Taking a deep breath, I entered the dorm using the combination.

My heart sank as soon as I stepped in.

Female shoes. Ones that are definitely not mine.

Nausea overcame me, and my breathing became heavy as tears welled up.

No. Della, don't. You trust them. She could be anyone. No one is cheating on you.

What if it's a sasaeng? Is someone breaking into our– no. Most, if not all, of the boys should be home. They would have done something if someone had broken in.

It can't be a relative either, as we would have informed the group beforehand.

Then who is she?

"I'm home," I managed to say in a normal voice, trying to hold back the tears.

I heard panicked shuffling and quickly wiped away stray tears before they could see me.

You're strong, Kang Della. Don't show any weakness or insecurity to whoever this person is.

And there she was, someone I had never met or seen before.

She had made herself at home, wearing loungewear and her hair styled in a messy up-do.

Her eyes were wide, mirroring my previous vulnerability, and her breathing was heavy.

And she was stunning. Her freshly-dyed blonde hair contrasted with my midnight black one. She was tall (though not as tall as me, judging by how high she reached the shoe rack), with a small face, big eyes, and plump lips.

Honestly, she reminded me of myself, but in a different font or something. I don't think she's Korean.

"Who are you, and how did you find out where we live?" she asked me fearfully. "How did you know the passcode?"

Wow.

Just wow.

I know that in situations like this (or at least what it's looking like), the blame should mainly fall on the cheater rather than the person they cheated with.

But she just referred to my home as hers. Ain't no fucking way.

"Where YOU live?" I scoffed, licking the inside of my cheek. "I'm sorry– who are you, and why are YOU here?"

That's when I noticed she was wearing my favorite Jay-shirt. It felt like my heart was being crushed, and I could feel the symptoms of a panic attack creeping up.

My sweet Jay. Earlier today, he woke me up and told me I was the most beautiful woman in the world. How lucky he felt to have me. His eyes showed sincerity. Was it all a lie? How can someone so lovely be so cruel?

"I live here. Who are you, and how did you know the passcode?" she responded, a bit more sternly. What the hell?

"This is Enhypen's dorm. I live here," I said, surprised that she didn't recognize me, even though she's dating a member of my group.

Shit. That stings. Park Jongseong fucking cheated on me.

Confusion crossed her face, and she was about to say something when we were interrupted by more shuffling.

We both turned and saw an angry Heeseung.

"What are you doing here? How did you get in?" he said sternly, pulling her behind him to protect her.

Heeseung too? My protective Heeseung who got angry at the other members if they left me unsupervised after my injury.

Now he's protecting her instead of me?

My heart started pounding, and it became harder to breathe.

"Heeseung-oppa?" I said in a small voice, feeling incredibly betrayed.

"Who are you?! Get out of our house before we call the police!" he raised his voice at me. The boys had never spoken to me like that before, especially not in such a harsh tone.

"I live here! Lee Heeseung, what are you saying?!" my voice shook as a few tears escaped.

More commotion followed, and this time all seven members appeared. Even Jake, who I could see peeking from the side of the wall.

Is he... afraid of me?

My Jake who was scared of the girls in I-Land but became so comfortable with me that his golden retriever personality came out. Now he barely wants to see me?

"You don't live here. Who are you?" Jungwon stepped forward. My Jungwon. Enhypen's leader who is ready to protect everyone despite being maknae.

But why isn't he protecting me?

"I—" the sight of all my boyfriends turning against me and defending this girl became too much. I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate, and a panic attack was on the verge of consuming me.

Shit. I haven't had a panic attack in so long and the fact that my lovers are the ones to trigger it is insane. Everything was perfect just this morning– what happened?

"Breathe. Take your time," Oh my Sunghoon. So incredibly precious. Always reassuring and giving me reminders since day one.

"Sunghoon," Heeseung scolded.

"She's going to have a panic attack! How can she explain anything?" Sunghoon reasoned. "Niki, get her some water."

"No, Niki. She should leave. Now," Sunoo said firmly. "I'm calling the police." My Sunoo, our sunshine. We've had our squabbles, but I've never been this scared of him. Now I understand what people mean when they say he has an intimidating face.

"Wait, wait. What's your name?" Riki asked. "Calm down a bit. Tell us how you got in," he approached me and gently rubbed my shoulder. I tend to forget that he's still so young since he hates when I remind him of our slight age gap. My Riki is too pure sometimes. He's doing this when I'm a stranger to them. 

Wait.

It suddenly hit me.

Shit, why didn't my brain work faster?

I'm a stranger to them. They don't know who I am.

It breaks my heart but I should at least introduce myself so that they know I'm not a threat.

I TOLD YOU THE WORLD IS FUCKING DIFFERENT.

"Jay-hyung, call the police," Riki switched languages, probably to ensure that I don't understand.

"Wait! Don't call!" my eyes widened, instinctively grabbing Riki's wrist. "I'm not a crazy fan, I swear!"

"Let go of him," everyone said in unison.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hold him. It was a reflex," I let go and took a deep breath. "My name is Kang Della. I'm a member of Enhypen."

"I'm sorry, what?" Sunoo scoffed. "We only have two female members in our team."

Two?

"What the fuck is happening with the world?" I couldn't help but chuckle humorlessly. "Have I gone insane?"

"Answer us– what do you mean you're a member of Enhypen?" Jungwon asked.

"Did I do that thing from Everything, Everywhere, All at Once?" I leaned against the wall, clutching my aching head. "Just give me a second."

I have officially gone insane.

Even if I did 'multiverse hopped' or whatever you call it, I have officially gone insane. My head fucking hurts.

"Can you please answer us?" Jake asked in a softer voice.

"My name is Kang Della. I was born on March 16, 2003. I'm from Seongbuk-gu, and in 2020, I participated in a survival show called I-Land," I looked up at their faces, hoping to see some recognition. Some looked in disbelief, while others seemed slightly annoyed.

"I made it into the final lineup of Enhypen. Seven boys, two girls. It was you seven plus me and Alice, but Alice left shortly after, so I was the only girl," my eyes welled up with tears at the thought of them not remembering me after everything we went through. "I live here. This dorm has been my home for almost three years. I was attending a class in university, and suddenly I came home to... to this."

"You expect us to–" Heeseung was about to say something when she cut him off. She moved closer to me, looking me in the eye. "Mila–"

"Do you have any proof?" she asked softly.

I maintained eye contact as I pulled out my phone. I let out a shaky breath when I looked at the screen for my Face ID.

The lock screen displayed a picture of us, my Enha.

I opened the gallery app, and a few tears escaped my eyes. I flinched slightly when Mila's hand reached out to wipe them away.

"Take your time," she assured me. Damn, she's sweet too. She seems perfect.

"Thank you," I whispered. My thumb hovered over the photo album labeled 'my forever.' I know I'm being dramatic but all I kept thinking was 'will I ever return to my world again?' "Here you go," I handed her my phone.

I watched as she scrolled through the pictures, but quickly adverted my gaze to the floor. I really wanna go home. I'm surrounded by my comfort people but they're not my comfort people.

"Guys.. These are actually you..." Mila turned around to show the seven. "And it's not even a look alike, it's definitely you. This is the company building," Jay took the phone out of her hands to have a closer look.

I saw him tap on a certain video and Shout Out started playing. That's when I couldn't take it anymore. Again.

I broke down. A full on panic attack.

"Oh my God," Mila wrapped her arms around me. "Let's get you inside. Niki, get her water."

Hearing Shout Out made me think of four things at the same time;

1. How the hell am I gonna go home and how long will it take.

2. I'm all alone in this world/universe/whatever this is.

3. I'm surrounded by people who look and are practically my soulmates, but they're not mine.

4. I guess we're not together in every universe after all. I know it's probably impossible and that the guys were just reassuring me for the sake of it, yet it still stings. This is a reality check.

[bite-sized-devil]

Hi Saadie! Congrats on 500+ Followers!

Here's my info for the matchup! ^^

Star Sign : (November) Scorpio Age : 18 Height : 5'3 Identity : Female; She/Her MBTI : INFJ-T Occupational : (tired) College Student Favorite Things : I like books (mostly fantasy), action movies, musicals, my computer (lol), any type of music, anime, flowers such as azaleas and roses, milk chocolate, birthday cards my sister makes for me and butterscotch ice cream What I do in my spare time : Read books or fics, play piano, watch gamers on YouTube and sometimes sketch random objects out of boredom What I look for in a partner : Passionate, loyalty, overall great sense of humor, kindness, funny (my humor be broken haha) and honesty! Favorite Obey Me Character(s) : Mammon, Leviathan, Satan Belphegor and Barbatos Appearance : I am a South Asian person who has olive-peach skin but not so pale looking either. I have a really small mole on the left side of my cheek. I have short black hair, light brown eyes, pretty big eyelashes and am pretty much average in height (or short- not sure how much 5'3 is classified in some countries lol). I have small dark circles under my eyes which can't be distinguished since I wear glasses which somewhat covers them up.

I hope this is enough! If you need, I can DM you a picture of my appearance! ^^

( -@amberrskiies )

🌻 500 Followers Bite Sized Event 🌻

Hello cutie! I'm sorry this took a little while, I'm trying to go in order of who sent in first. I originally wanted to give each submission all of what I promised all at the same time but uhhhh.... That would take way to long 😂 and so I'm just releasing the match ups first then I'll do the fics/script fics if I haven't already written them. Oh also nightbringer distracted me a buuuunch! So sorry!!

Mostly SFW, slightly suggestive. 💕

Match up:

Satan Avatar of Wrath

May I offer scrunky furious cat boy to you? He's very passionate, funny, loyal and honest! I think he'd be quite taken with you, you love to read and play the piano what a charming little thing you are 💕 He'd love to help you study for your exams, you'll reward him with kisses won't you?

Head canons for you two:

This mother fucker actually asked you out mid screaming match with Lucifer. Or well actually you think that's what happened? You remember "MC GOOD YOU'RE HERE I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO DINNER! THAT IS AS SOON AS IM FINISHED WITH THIS ARSEHOLE RIGHT HERE!" So now you're in your room at HOL dressed and ready but starting to think maybe you heard wrong? Your brain doesn't really function properly during screaming matches, even ones you aren't involved in. So you're sitting on your bed considering changing before anyone notices you're all dressed up. Fuck that would be so embarrassing! But you hear a knock on the door, just one simple but sharp knock. It has you up off your bed in seconds racing to the door nearly as fast as the beat your heart is setting. You open the door and find him there waiting. He gives you a warm smile and takes your small hands in his. "Your beauty flaws me MC, truly you are something to behold. I want to apologise for my rudeness earlier, I'm not sorry I asked you to dinner. Just how I went about it."

How cute is it when you read together. 🥰 Your head resting on one of his legs reading your lastest fantasy novel. The fingers of his free hand comb through your short black locks absentmindedly. His other hand holds his book against the thigh of his raised knee. It's mostly comfortable, until he gets to an intense part and the fingers in your hair are no longer combing but sharply pulling as his hand gets turned into a fist. He's quick to pull you into his arms and smother you in sweet kisses in-between sorry's when he hears you utter a quiet 'ouch'.

If you weren't a member of the anti-lucifer club you are now. Pranking just became a favourite pastime for you both. If anything Lucifer is thankful as you tend to do childish pranks now instead of murderous ones.

Can he help you study? Please, he'll be good! He won't distract you! Say you'll let him help you, he'd love to. Honestly he'll only kiss you a little bit, promise they will only be as rewards for correct answers and not because you look so cute when you're concentrating. Oh no, was that a paper cut? He'll kiss it better, he'll kiss it better at your wrist, up your arm, along your collar bone, over your pulse point, along your jaw, over your lips with his tongue down your throat. Wait where did it hurt again? You can't remember, everything feels hazy. No pain, or study, only Satan.

It is now your life's mission to find a horror movie that actually scares Satan. Unfortunately you haven't found one yet, it's not however unfortunate for Satan. He loves watching horror movies with you, loves the way you tuck yourself in close to his side almost half hidden from the screen. Thinks it's so cute the way you jump and squeal a little at jump scares. Once you actually jumped into his lap, he kept you there the entire rest of the film just holding you close. So yeah he definitely likes watching them with you.

Will absolutely loose his shit if you dress up as a kitty. He's a blushing, stuttering mess! He's so fucking into you, and then you do this? His brain isn't working, not enough blood reaching it... It's circulating elsewhere. 😳

No offence to Satan or whatever but can you do me a favour and teach him how to dress himself properly? This might shock him a little but when you wear a coat you usually use both of the sleeves 😂 also stop with the hats! Again respectfully no offence 🙏

When you're together he always has to have a hand on you. It's more of a starved for affection thing rather than possessive. He really can't seem to get enough of you. It's his hand in yours, or at the small of your back, or wrapped around you. Or if he's feeling naughty grabbing your ass.

If you wanted more NSFW content I'm sorry! I felt kinda weird writing it for an 18yo like I'm some sort of predator! I'm like 10 years older then you, it gave me some icky feelings. So I'm sorry! 😔😔

[onlyangelsupremacy]

FINALLY MY SECOND SMUT EVER.

I wrote this in a rush soo:0 sorry:/

Here we go;)

Domrry, daddy kink, choking, spitting, teasing, restriction, objectification.

---------------------------------

"Harry you have to close your eyes!" It was his birthday and i was trying to show him his last birthday present but he wasn't cooperative.

I was so nervous. I was dressed in a pretty pink lingerie and I was so wet too looking at him in his birthday it all black suit, it seeped through my lace panty making a wet spot there.

"How long are you going to take? Birthday boy is starving love" i blushed at his words and wore the robe on top of my lingerie covering it. I walked out seeing him on our white silk bed sat with his palms on his face covering his eyes.

He looked so much like a kid waiting for his toy it made me giggle internally.

"Okay open up big boy" he did not waste a second immediately removing his hands from his face as he looked right at me making my heart skip a beat.

I could see him getting hard. As he scanned me up an down finally his vision landing on my face as he smirked.

"What ya hiding under that huh darling?"

"Nothin- gosh im just nervous sorr-"

"Jen it's okay baby you know me you dont have to feel nervous with me"

"Okay here goes nothing" my hands landed on my robe as i slowly began to slide them down my shoulders as i walked towards him.

I could hear his audible gasp as his face turned red. His eyes running all over my body as he choked on his air.

"Fuck baby i didnt kno- i fuck damn me"

I rubbed my arm awkwardly not knowing what to do or say as he motioned me with his fingers towards him.

As soon as i was a foot away from him, he pulled me into a stradling position by my forearm. As my hands landed on his shoulders to stabilise myself.

"You don't know how lucky i am. God i wish u could see yourself right now, such a sexy litte thing you are Jen. I dont know how I'm gonna last baby i really dont. I feel like I'd bust any minute right now to be honest". He said as he chucked making me laugh with.

"Its alright you can always make up for it by head" i said winking at him as he shook his head chuckling more.

He caressing my body with his hands slowly keeping eye contact with me. The lower his hands went the more i was finding it hard to breathe.

"H please don't tease me"

"You're the one to tell me that when you were teasing me the whole day today huh honey" he asked me tilting his face.

His hands eventually made they're way to my breasts as he kneaded them harshly grazing my hard nipples.

I whimpered as i buried my face in his neck. He immediately wrapped uis fingers around my jaw tilting my face as he placed his lips on mine desperately.

Our lips molded together perfectly as he slid his eager tongue in letting it explore my mouth.

I started grinding my hips down onto his crotch unknowingly making him hiss and thrust his hips up against my pussy making me whine in the kiss.

I was thrown on the bed in a matter of seconds as he crawled on top of me. His cross chain landing on my cleavage as he smirked at the sight.

"Mmm birthday boy wants it hard and rough darling he wants to feel his pretty girl tremble under him, screaming his name but tell me baby how do you want it huh? Fast? Slow? From the back? Tell me" he urged me biting his bottom lip looking down at mt cleavage.

"Birthday boy can have me anyway he wants me. Its your birthday after all just think of me as a gift a mere item. Use me, please harry"

"Mmm you said it darling, now its time for birthday boy to have fun with his present don't ya think?"

He immediately took his tie off and brought both my hands to the headboard tying it together there. As his hands gripped my jaw opening my mouth and spitting into it. I swallowed whimpering.

He took off my lace underwear and threw it on the floor spreading my legs and throwing them above his shoulders. He bent down flattening his tongue on my cunt. As i moaned at the sensation.

"Daddy fuck" i whined. As he started kitten licking my clit making eye contact with me as he kissed and sucked it with his lightly puffed up lips.

His eyes had a naughty glint as he his tongue dived into my pussy sucking and licking instantly. As i screamed his name squirming.

He slowly slid in two fingers and started fucking me with them relentlessly. As i watched him gather his saliva, spitting on my clit as he watched it drip down to my entrance.

As he placed his thumb on my clit and started to massage it. "Fuck so fucking dirty"

I moaned at his words and lifted my hips desperately as he pushed me down with his hands on my waist.

"Needy are we darling? Hm?" He questioned making me blush.

"Harry pretty please just fuck me i cant wait anymore daddy"

"Mmm since u begged"

He took his fingers out of me and flipped me around my face pressed to the mattress and my ass up. As he held my hips and started to thrust into me sharply at a fast pace giving me no time to adjust.

"Oh god daddy" i whimpered and whined as his thrusts god harder and harder.

"Fuck you feel so good jeneive soo good baby, so warm so perfect"

As one of his hand landed on my neck wrapping around it using it as a leverage to fuck into me. His other reached fowared to take my nipple between his finger and pinched it making me scream.

"Im not going to last baby i need you to come please i want to feel you come hon- fuck i need to feel you come baby can you do that for me? You're such a good girl aren't you"

Thats was enough to drive me to the edge as i screamed his name as i came hard on his dick and fingers.

He reached his high soon after that burying his face in my neck whimpering, and moaning my name.

As his tired body pulled out of me and fell beside me on the bed.

"God that was amazing"

"Hell yea it was"

As i choked out a laugh from how worned out i was.

---------------------------------

There we gooo finally!

This took long tbfh

Also tell me what u guys want next:))) maybe subrry;)

Untill then love ya stay highdrated!

-Jan

[laylaisthename]

you know im down bad when im actually posting my fics on tumblr.

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Lincoln McQuoid/M!MC || SFW || 3900 words :pensive: ||

Fic about two guys with terrible birthday experiences that are trying to do better. Set in a theoretical time after everything's been resolved. Timeline doesnt exactly match up since we're probably like a week away in game from Linc’s birthday but uuuh just pretend ok.

tw; mentions of under (american) age drinking (idk im european and he's 18 so its fine to me) 

"Lincooooln." Horus calls lazily from the couch.

"What?"

"You know what day it is?"

Lincoln pads into the living room, his eyes narrowing at Horus. "The day the Elric brothers set their house on fire?"

Horus snorts, "Of course you would say that you weeb. Aaaand...what else is today?"

Lincoln sighs. "Who told you?"

"I'll let you take one guess at who'd be texting me about your well-being."

He buries his face in his hands and lets out another deep, soul-weary sigh.

"Abel says to tell you 'happy birthday' and to make sure that, quote 'he doesn't spend the whole day moping around his apartment alone watching daytime tv and getting drunk.' unquote. Ouch. You really spend your birthdays like that?"

There's a thoughtful frown on Lincoln's face, a look that Horus knows a little too well by now. He opens his arms invitingly, and a small smile plays on Lincoln's lips as he moves to join him on the couch, resting against his chest.

"Bad birthday memories?" Horus asks.

"Melancholic ones. I told you what happened on my seventh birthday. My mom still tried after that but it just... hasn't been the same since. And then I lost touch with Abel, and she..." his words trail off. 

Horus' voice is quiet when he responds. "I know. I'm sorry." 

Unsure of what else to say he simply wraps Lincoln in his arms. Instinctively Horus' eyes flicker to the empty spot on the wall where Silvia's portrait used to hang, a pang of guilt lancing through his heart. He must have apologized a thousand and one times already, but it still never felt like enough. Sometimes he catches Linc glancing over too, expecting it to still be there- for her to still be there. 

His thumb subconsciously moves to twist at his mother's ring. It was a feeling he knew well. 

"Okay I'm gonna be real depressing here," he starts, "but stay with me on this. Every year on my birthday my dad used to take us to this nice Egyptian restaurant. I'd get baklava and chocolate cake and some damn good chicken and then we'd go home and watch any movie of my choice, so we'd usually end up watching A New Hope again."

"And you're calling me a weeb? Nerd."

"Shut up, I'm being genuine here for once in my fucking life. Anyway. Point is. We'd get dinner, watch a movie together, I got some gifts, and it was the best day I could wish for. Then after... everything happened, Amalia and her parents took me out somewhere." He takes a moment to gather himself. Talking about the past five years was still hard at times, actually telling the truth of his hurt rather than lie and say he was fine. "I spent my eighteenth birthday crying my eyes out on the floor of a restaurant bathroom. Told Lia I got food poisoning, but I knew she didn't buy it. Next birthday was barely any better. Amalia was off to college by then, so me and my new best friend 'Fake ID' hit up every bar in town for a free drink for the birthday boy. I vaguely remember making out with some hot girl in a bathroom stall, but mostly I just remember feeling incredibly alone. And, well, nauseous."

"Is this story going anywhere or are you rambling?"

"Right. I'm trying to be profound. Well, tl;dr, birthdays sucked. At 20 I ignored my birthday and 21 I got shitfaced again, but this time legally. Then this year I happened to find myself in the area after a hunt. So I walked into that Egyptian restaurant, I got myself dinner and some baklava, found the nearest movie theater and watched, uh," he falls quiet for a moment, thinking hard, "I don't remember the movie's name, it was pretty forgettable I'll be honest. But it was the best day I'd had in longer than I'd like to admit. Whenever I closed my eyes I could almost feel my family sitting next to me. My dad's lame jokes, my mom's laughter. Annie stealing food off my plate when she thought I wasn't looking..." Horus is quiet for a moment. "Sorry, I'm making it about me again."

Lincoln turns over in his arms to face him. "It's alright. Honor their memory instead of burying it deep, right?"

"Yeah. But, if you do wanne just laze around all day and watch shitty movies I'm down for that too." he tightens his arms around him a little. 

Lincoln hums, lying his head back down on Horus' chest, and he wonders if Lincoln could hear how his heart raced. Neither of them would spend another birthday alone if he had any say in it. They lay there a little while longer in comforting quiet.

Lincoln rouses after a while, quieting Horus' whine with an achingly sweet kiss as he heaves himself off the couch. "I think I know what I want to do today."

***

Their first stop was Westchester Elementary. Lincoln hadn't told Horus what exactly they'd be up to, wanting it to be a surprise. It was a warm autumn day, the warmth of summer not quite gone yet. 

The sounds of children playing outside  accompanied by a quiet ambiance of rustling leaves and birds' song. It was strange how nice Westchester could be when horrible men and creatures weren't actively terrorizing it. 

"So, this is where baby Linc took his first steps into becoming a menace to society?" 

He rolls his eyes, but smiles regardless, "You know Russ, I don't actually know much about what you were like as a kid." 

"Me? A model student once they got me to stop cutting up my clothes." 

"That's what I thought." he holds out his hand, and by now it's second nature for Horus to grasp it as they walk along. Lincoln leads them to the side of the building, stopping before they round the corner. 

"Close your eyes for me?" 

For me.

The gentleness in Linc's voice over shadows any dirty jokes in Horus' mind. He simply smiles, "Alright." letting Lincoln lead him a little further away with his eyes closed. 

He stops Horus, grabbing him by the shoulders and turning him around. 

"Okay, now, open your eyes." 

So he does. And before him, Horus sees something that was-

A stunningly painted mural adorned the old plaster, a deep indigo blue of a night sky, swirling into the yellows and pinks of dawn. Against that backdrop was the silhouette of a woman, leading a chain of children of different ages toward the light of a new day under a bright shining star. More stars dotted the dark sky, painted in such a way that they almost seem to shimmer in the sunlight. Among them Horus managed to recognize a few constellations; the Scales of Libra, Aries the Ram, the Eagle Aquila, the Archer Orion-

His eyes flit to Lincoln, who in turn is watching him with searching eyes and a kind smile. 

"It's gorgeous." Horus says after another breath. It was hard to put into words, but it felt as if a hopeful wish had been put into every brushstroke. 

Having apparently found what he was looking for, Lincoln turns to the mural. "My mother painted this. She told me she started the first draft a few weeks after she found out she was pregnant. The actual mural didn't go up until I enrolled here, and I got special permission to 'help' her out during recess." 

They walk up close, where painted in white, surprisingly neat, yet childish letters;

LINCOLN & 

and then in a beautiful curling script;

Silvia McQuoid

Lincoln traces his fingers along the letters, closing his eyes, a smile painting his lips. 

"There's more murals like these all around town. She'd always say this was her way of giving back a little kindness into the world. Something to inspire people." his eyes open again, looking up at the silhouette. "A couple were painted before I was born, but I loved coming along whenever I could. She always insisted that even if I just painted a single line, that I'd put my name up next to hers."

"She sounds awesome, wish I could have met her."

"She would have loved you, I'm sure of it." 

Horus laughs, "Ha! You're just saying that because I'm your boyfriend." 

Lincoln bumps his shoulder, "I mean it, Russ. Someone so full of life like you? She'd be making wedding plans after our first date." 

Horus was not a shy or bashful man by a long shot, so the blush creeping up to his ears and the sudden stutter in his throat caught him off guard. His eyes flick over to Lincoln, who also seems to realize what he'd said with a start. He didn't want to read into it too much, his racing mind already looking for a way to change the topic, but a small voice in the back of his head tells him that if Lincoln had asked him right here, right now, that he would not mind at all. But then a suitable deflection comes to mind, blurted out a little too tense, a little too fast. 

"I already promised to take you out for dinner today, no need to butter me up."

"Maybe I'm hoping to get free dessert too." 

"I dunno, you find me a dark and quiet corner and I can get right on that if you're so impatient." 

"At an elementary school? Really?" 

"Ah, you're right. So are we going to your highschool next? Behind the bleachers maybe." 

Lincoln laughs again, "Speaking of dinner, there's a few more murals I wanted to show you. Come on." Linc turns to head back to the motorcycle. 

It was like a light bulb flickering to life over Horus' head as he realized exactly what he would get Lincoln for his birthday. He pulls out his phone, sending out a dozen texts as they walk, nearly missing the helmet Linc tosses him. 

The last message is off and confirmed by the time they reach the second mural, and hours blur by as they ride all over Westchester. Every painting is somehow more gorgeous than the last, accompanied by anecdotes from Lincoln about inspirations, color choices, meanings. It was something incredibly dear to his heart, anyone could tell. 

Horus steps up close to Lincoln, leaving a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?" 

"Sharing this with me. But," he reaches his hand into Linc's back pocket, pulling out the motor keys, "I have a surprise for you too." 

Lincoln raises a brow, but doesn't make to grab for the keys. "Where are we going exactly?" 

"Ah-ah, wouldn't be a surprise anymore if I told you. But it's close by, I promise."

***

It's a short drive over. Horus parks the motor out on the side of the road, walking ahead down an alleyway to the back. 

And as his friends had promised, strewn around a blank wall was everything needed to paint a mural of their own. 

Brushes in all sizes, a dozen different colors of paint, lights that illuminated a smooth, blank canvas waiting to be filled. Off to the side lay a cooler filled with drinks, and a bag full of takeout food. 

"But how…?"

Horus counts it off on his fingers, "Had Connor call in some favors at city hall for the permit, Lia brought the food, Joss got us drinks, Dee and Noah took care of the supplies, aaand," Horus lets out a sharp whistle, and Abel appears from around the corner carrying a cake, followed by the rest of their merry little gang. A chorus of "Happy birthday, Lincoln." rises from the group. Joss rolls her eyes. 

"I'm just here for the cake." she nods her head toward Abel. 

Linc's eyes grow wide."Is that…?" 

"My mom's recipe? Yeah, I promised, didn't I?" 

Horus pulls a lighter from his pocket, lighting the candles. 

"Happy birthday to you." Abel starts, and Horus, Amalia, Connor and Dee are quick to join in, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Lincoln, happy birthday to youuu." 

The look in Lincoln's eyes is part horrified, part touched and wholly embarrassed as the song comes to an end. 

"C'mon make a wish." 

Lincoln walks up and thinks for a moment, and if Horus wasn't head over heels before, then the way that the candlelight flickered in Linc's eyes surely would have done the trick now. The moment passes as he closes his eyes, blowing out the candles in one big breath. 

"Let's see if this cake lives up to the hype." Noah walks up, knife in hand, offering it to Lincoln to cut the first piece. 

Abel looks offended, "You doubt my baking skills?" 

"Cut him some slack," Connor says, "being a ghost for a few years made him forget his manners." 

Noah just shrugs, taking back the knife to cut up pieces for the rest as Lincoln takes the first one. 

The silence is broken by an incredibly inappropriate moan from Lincoln that almost sets something off in Horus. But that would have to wait until he had him all to himself.

"Just as good as you remember?" Abel says, unable to keep a large, goofy grin off his face. 

"Better somehow." he takes another large bite. 

Horus is handed a piece next and wastes no time shoving a large piece into his mouth. "Oh shit, this is good." Agreements ring out as everyone digs in. Their impromptu party is however quite short lived.

"As much as I wish I could stay," Abel says, "I was in the middle of grading papers that I really need to finish by tomorrow."

 Amalia pipes up, "I should go too, I got a long drive ahead to get back in time for my lectures tomorrow if I want to get any sleep. Cake was totally worth it, though." 

Connor walks up to Dee and Noah, slinging his arms around their shoulders. "The three of us promised Harper we'd stop by tonight to check something out, so we should get going too." 

Jocelyn grabs another bite off the last slice of cake. "And I'm not hanging around to play third wheel to these two, so bye."

Horus waves her off. "Good night, Joss." 

"Night, Red. Keep the old man’s spine intact.”

“Old man? I’m not even 30 yet.” Lincoln replies.

“I make no promises about his ability to walk tomorrow.”

Jocelyn grins, “Nice.” and heads off.

Abel hangs back for a moment, watching the others leave. He walks over to Lincoln, whose eyes still betray his feelings of guilt. Apologies were exchanged a while ago, but Horus could tell that Lincoln still had a hard time letting go of the hurt he caused. 

"Abel, I-" but his words are cut off as Abel envelopes him in a hug. Lincoln hesitates for a moment, before hugging him back. 

Abel lets him go, a kind smile on his face. "Happy birthday, old friend." he turns to Horus, giving him a nod, and Horus nods back. 

And just like that it was only the two of them left again. Horus polishes the last crumbs off his plate, quietly thanking Abel and his mother for what was maybe the best cake he'd had, ever. 

Lincoln walks up and hugs him tightly, burying his face in Russ' neck. And now it was Horus' turn to stand there for a moment, unsure of what to do, before he returns the gesture. 

"Thank you," the words are a quiet murmur against the crook of his shoulder. "Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it." 

"No, I liked spending the day with you. You doing this for me? I love it. I-" he hesitates on the word. Lincoln pulls back a bit, cupping Russ' face in his hands. "It means a lot to me. I just don't know what to paint." 

He pulls him in for a kiss, short and sweet. But being pressed up against Lincoln's back all day on the motorcycle has left Horus with a desire for something more than that. He walks Lincoln backwards until his back hits the empty plaster wall, nearly tripping over a bucket of paint in his haste. He opens his mouth, and it was delicious, both of them still tasting of whipped cream and cake. 

Lincoln flips them, so Russ' back is now to the wall and pulls back. A groan escapes him as he leans forward after Lincoln, 

"Don't move." he places another kiss along his jaw. 

"Hm?" 

"I just figured out what I want to paint."

Horus stood there, chest heaving, pupils blown wide. "You're just going to leave me like this?" 

He laughs, a bright and joyful sound, "I didn't exactly bring lube along." 

"I'll run to the corner store and make the most suspicious purchase of my fucking life, I'll even throw in some roses, don't test me."

Lincoln comes back with a bucket of paint and brush in hand. "You can do whatever you want to me back at my apartment. Just keep still." 

He opens the can, a deep blue, and gets to work tracing an outline around Horus, lingering around his hands, leaving kisses as he goes along. Up his arm, over his shoulder, a kiss under his ear. 

"You're making it very hard to stand still, you know." 

"Better keep at it. Don't want to get paint in your hair- hold out your hand a little."

Horus does as asked, moving as little as possible, as Lincoln traces the paint over his head and down his right side. 

Lincoln steps back, admiring his handiwork- or maybe admiring Horus. With the way his eyes darted around it was hard to tell. He turns, reaching for a new brush and another can of bright red paint. It doesn't escape Russ that it's the same shade as the color of his hair. Lincoln holds them out for him to take. 

Horus shakes his head "I'm not much of an artist."

"Just the rough outline, I'll take care of the details." Lincoln stands with his back against the wall, hand overlapping with the silhouette of Horus beside him. 

"Alright, fine. For the birthday boy." 

Horus then realized that he probably had not held a paintbrush in his hands in a decade, if not more. He wasn't nervous per se, but still very cautiously went to work, part of him afraid to mess it all up. He kneels down to get started by Lincoln's legs. The red paint stands in stark contrast against the gray wall, overflow dripping down, and suddenly Horus freezes. 

His hands shake, breath catching in his throat, whole body tense and ready to spring. Blood dripping down the brush, out of a creature's mouth, covering his hands his eyes seeping into his chest the ground thick in the air-

A hand clamps on his arm and distantly his name reaches his ears -"Russ!"- his father telling him to run, Annie calling after him- he tries to pull away, hand balling into a fist so tight that his knuckles ran white, nails digging into his palm, fight or flight instincts setting in and he was afraid and wanted to, no had to fight there was no one else left-

"Horus!" Lincoln's hands frame his face, forcing him to look into his eyes. 

"I'm-" the word comes out as a ragged breath. Adrenaline ebbs out, his heart still racing at a thousand miles a minute, but he was back in the here and now at least. Realizing what had just happened, Horus slaps on his trademark grin, the gesture not quite reaching his eyes. "I'll get lost in your eyes like this." 

"You're shaking." 

His hands still tremble a bit as he pries himself loose, "Low blood sugar, you know how it is. Maybe we should eat some of the take-out before it goes completely cold." he drops the brush back into the bucket, avoiding looking at it too closely. 

"Horus-"

"There's one with chicken and one with beef, which do you want?"

Lincoln wraps himself around him from behind, plucking the beef noodles from the bag. "Talk to me, Russ. You were gone for a moment there." 

Horus hops up onto a crate, opening his food up, his voice quiet, but finding its confidence as he talks. "Ugh. It doesn't usually happen, red is my favorite color, and I've seen worse whenever I need to dye my hair again- seriously makes my bathroom look like someone died there." he lets out a breath, combing his fingers through his hair, "but, I guess the paint just… took me off guard. I'll be fine after I eat something." 

Lincoln sits next to him, frowning, 

"I should have realized-" 

"Don't. Don't start pitying me or, fuckin' saying its your fault. We were just making such good progress in getting you to stop blaming everything on yourself-" 

"That's not true," Linc says matter-of-fact, "I blame plenty on Matthias." 

Horus laughs. "True. But, yeah. I don't want my little episode to ruin this. I won't let it." He nods over, gesturing for Lincoln to go stand at the wall once they're done eating. 

His hand still shakes a little as he traces the outline around him, but everything was further from Horus' mind now. Focus on the motions, focus on his warmth, his voice-

"Look at that. You're a natural." Lincoln says as he draws the final line, vaguely linking the hands of the silhouettes together. 

"Are you gonna start pulling out gold stars next, or what?" He grabs himself a soda from the cooler, and a beer for Lincoln,

"Is that something I'll need to keep in mind?" 

"Everyone likes being told they're doing a good job, no? Don't worry about the drinking by the way, I'll drive us back." 

"Sure, but if I start lamenting about Naruto, cut me off." 

"No, please tell me more about how Naruto and that black haired guy were totally in love." 

"Oh, like you're any better about your space movies." 

"I just have a lot of feelings about the Clones, okay!" 

Conversation flows and time flies as Horus watches Lincoln get to work. It was mesmerizing to see how the piece came together, stroke by stroke; two silhouettes, hand in hand with a ribbon tying their hands together. Horus' figure set in a royal blue, Lincoln framed by an explosive red, the tie that binds them red on one side, blue on the other. The message rang clear; I’m a part of you, you’re a part of me.

"Now all that's left," Lincoln cracks open a black can of paint, dipping in a smaller brush. "is signing it."

He signs his name in beautiful curling letters;

Lincoln & 

Before holding out the brush to Horus, who glady, if a bit messily, adds his name underneath;

Horus Asar

[sooinluvz]

 𝑳𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝒚𝗈𝗎 𝒍𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝒐𝗑𝗒𝗀𝖾𝗇

pairing : kang taehyun, huening kai, choi yeonjun x m!reader

summary : you're able to remember what it was like to gain the favour of this boys.

tw : pure sugary fluff & teenage angst

notes : omg luka this took me so long smh >:3 im so sorry!! this was meant for ur birthday but omg i didn't know how to end for hyuka so it took me so long to do it. i hope that ur happy and healthy for the rest of ur long life <33 u are so amazing and beautiful and smart and so so talented excuse you :0 dkdkribe giggles okay lemme leave u to the boyfriend hcs :D @astrozuya

—high school sweethearts

BOYFRIEND! YEONJUN, would definitely have told you his feelings during a study date. he's all nervous and unsure of whether you'll hate him after what he's about to do or downright ask him to do more. yeah, there's a major mathematics test that counts for the remainder of your semester marks but he couldn't care less whilst he scribbles your name in his notebook without even realizing.

BOYFRIEND! YEONJUN, had written down the confession on a memo pad and when he left to grab some water, deliberately put it in plan view. what he had wrote was very cheesy and in not so legible handwriting, with cute spelling mistakes, 'go on a date with me? yes, no, maybe?' i mean, it's the thought that counts. and seeing it definitely melted your heart. by the time he returned there wasn't an ounce of regret when yeonjun saw how boldly you had circled the 'yes' option.

BOYFRIEND! YEONJUN, couldn't stop ogling you. he shamelessly let his eyes wander across your face. he noted each of the little creases near your mouth when you smiled, the way you pressed your lips into a thin line when you thought hard over your drink order. fuck, he really wanted to kiss you. to feel your soft lips against his own chapped ones. and when you passed your peach chap stick towards him that was definitely the icing on the cake.

BOYFRIEND! YEONJUN, loved holding your hand. even though yours would get sweaty from time to time due to your nervousness, he would let you wipe them off then went right back to holding them again. he wasn't sure what it was—maybe the softness of it, or the rough skin in your palms from working hard, or the way the pads of your fingers would press against the back of his hand—yeonjun just loved holding your hand.

BOYFRIEND! YEONJUN, felt like he was on cloud nine kissing you. even though you two had done it countless times those sparks still shot through the sky and bursted into shining fireworks. though the first time was extra special. call him a hopeless romantic, but when he pulled your body toward his and the rain hit your clothes it felt fulfilling. you were fulfilling. everything about you was all that yeonjun needed in his life.

BOYFRIEND! YEONJUN, knew you were his oxygen. he knew from the moment he set eyes on you during lunch break back in high school that he would spend the rest of his life doing all that he could to keep you smiling. your smile was beautiful. it made his heart flutter and even stop it at times. and when you shared yourself with him on that cold winter night, when you both embraced each other's perfections and imperfections, yeonjun said he loved you.

—idol boyfriend

BOYFRIEND! TAEHYUN, was never the type to believe in love or anything romantic in life. he didn't understand what all the buzz was about troupes or otps or anything else. taehyun had assumed that his life would just be with him and maybe a fish. but as an idol who had just made his debut into the world of glittery and shining korean pop there wasn't much time for pets this early in the game—let alone a life partner.

BOYFRIEND! TAEHYUN, met you on a street corner. it was an awkward meeting at first since he stepped in front of you and you weren't sure which way to go and just giggling to yourself wasn't helping because what the hell you couldn't walk. the memory now though always made you smile because it was silly to think taehyun was going to scold you for keeping him from whatever he needed to do.

BOYFRIEND! TAEHYUN, magically, every other friday or so, would see you on the street corner on the way to a convenient store that he and his group members practically worshipped the ice cream that it sold. unlike him, the conversation between you two was struck by taehyun. simple and sweet, you greeted each other and he figured out your worked at said convenient store. it was a lovely fact to know for taehyun but he didn't know reason behind why it was so lovely to begin with.

BOYFRIEND! TAEHYUN, thought it was a huge mistake when you and him started to date in secret. that was the first thing outlined in their contracts, 'NO DATING'. so what kind of idiot ignores the bold, large and very strong words of a legally binding document? taehyun apparently. even if he was an idiot, a major risk taking idiot, he knew you gave him every opportunity to walk away because of how high the stakes were if someone from the press were to find out. only beomgyu knew and he sort of found out when his beloved group member left his phone open and the text message you sent was pretty self explanatory.

BOYFRIEND! TAEHYUN, had broken up with you before his 21st birthday. his manager was the main one behind the break up but taehyun didn't want you to be tarnished by the dispatch and the trash they could always spew together and call it a story. it wasn't a shock to hear him say "i'm breaking up with you," actually you were surprised your relationship lasted as long as it did. but that didn't mean the aching in your chest wasn't real. the late night phone calls lasting till two in the morning and the convenient store conversations behind the snack isle as well as many more fond memories of your time together never left your mind.

BOYFRIEND! TAEHYUN, dedicated a song to you. when it first flowed through your ears your heart ached before speeding up. it was hard to find the right breathing pattern again after hearing taehyun's angelic voice sing the pet name he gave you, 'darling.' his korean dialect had made the word sound off the first time you heard it but as he got used of saying it to you so much the meaning was enough to bring tears to your eyes and down your blushing cheeks. it was a song of how life was unfair to young lovers during the past and the present but he had hoped in the future love would be more fruitful.

BOYFRIEND! TAEHYUN, met you again. he was more grown up since the last time you saw him and you were honest for once and allowed yourself to think that he still looked handsome after so long. he still made you nervous when he spoke in that soft voice of his, the way his eyes sparkled like a puppies when he gazed into your own eyes and how his hands on the counter tapped against the cold surface suddenly went still with your warms ones holding his. you could tell he still loved you, and there was no denying that your heart still belonged to taehyun.

BOYFRIEND! TAEHYUN, thought back to when he snuck out of the dorms to see you. and how he would do anything for that gorgeous smile on your face. he was young and in love, never thought clearly about the consequences of his actions and how his involvement with you could end up in a tragedy instead of a fairy tale. well, as taehyun stood in front of your grave he now knew.

BOYFRIEND! TAEHYUN, was a mess. the news of your relationship had made it into the public eye as it just reached its early days and wasn't welcomed in any way. your death that soon followed was sudden and heart wrenching because it could have been prevented—reporters were following you on your way home and caused you to get involved in a car accident which resulted in your death. taehyun never returned to the entertainment industry after you, and never fully recovered. you were his corner boy and the best thing to happen to him.

—friends to lovers

BOYFRIEND! HYUKA, hadn't expected it to hit him so hard. how could anyone prepare to suddenly see their close friend in a new light? he hasn't thought of you as anything more than someone he could tease and make fun of. that was your role in the friend group; the shortest out of everyone in your class and did the cutest angry nibble on your pen when he or soobin had made fun of your haircut or weird handwriting. it was just you, kai, beom and taehyun, the rowdy bunch in school. you all had too much energy that even the teachers didn't know how to tame you.

BOYFRIEND! HYUKA, was certain he didn't want anything more than friendship from you. it made sense to him to have you as a friend that he put himself in the friend zone many a time whenever he somewhat guessed you were trying to flirt with him or get him alone. so why did it hurt his heart so much to see you with someone else? he was the one who pushed you away in their arms; choi yeonjun's arms to be exact. kai hated him. typical fuck boy who didn't care who's hearts he trampled on. it disgusted hyuka.

BOYFRIEND! HYUKA, had kissed you like his life depended on your lips on his. he knew you weren't his to take but there was something within him—a sense of possession if you will—that just led him to snatch you away from yeonjun one day and lead you to an empty classroom. he was shocked when he felt how soft your lips were, which made sense since he always teased you about how your lips were always chapped. but not today. like.. you knew what his intentions were and that made you decide to out of the blue put on coconut lipbalm. hyuka loved coconut..

BOYFRIEND! HYUKA, hadn't spoken to you after the kissed you share that late afternoon when everyone was meant to be going home. when he had pulled away he was beat red and embarrassed, not even giving you a chance to let out a word when he bolted out of the classroom with the tips of his ears burning. how was he to face you the coming days? after he suddenly kissed you out of his jealousy and lack of rationality, hyuka couldn't look you in the eye. your beautiful eyes..

BOYFRIEND! HYUKA, had distanced himself from his friends, claiming to put his focus into the coming midterm examinations they were to write within a few weeks. it was the perfect excuse and it couldn't have come at a better time because he always had the compulsion to go and speak to you, hear your angelic voice and just listen to you speak. but who was he kidding, hyuka didn't deserve you. he was an absolute asshole to you whenever he got the chance, always being rude and teasing you.

BOYFRIEND! HYUKA, saw you standing with yeonjun on the final exam day, looking like the jerkward wanted to make a move on you but quickly you moved away from him and hurriedly left the scene. the smirk of satisfaction on hyuka's lips fell fast when you bumped into him while retreating from yeonjun. "a—are you alright?" his voice cracked and he cursed under his breath. you had nodded your head and made your way to leave but hyuka held your wrist, his declaration of adoration and love for you falling out of his mouth and into your ears.

BOYFRIEND! HYUKA, could feels tears cloud his vision when he stared down at you. when he heard you say how much you've longed to hear him say those words he couldn't keep his emotions inside any longer. hyuka had confessed how he had mistaken his friendship for you as something more, and his continuous teasing was merely his way of showing affection which he wasn't sure how to do. you embraced him and called him an idiot, laughing at how funny his crying face was. when the tears had dried hyuka held you tightly and pressed his lips to yours once again but the second time was far better than the first.

[andvys]

ANDY!! how are you? I just caught up with the last 2 chapters and they were amazing!!

“Uh, it’s your birthday present.”

oh??? 🤨 is that a bomb

He scratches the back of his neck, “uh well, apparently Ray is a fan of pocket knives,” he laughs. 

omg i remember in school when we were like 14 boys used to bring pocket knives with them and that was scary cause wtf

You weren’t good enough for that – he did not want to change for you. 

NOOO DONT THINK THAT BABY

“She is not you.”

steve... what the hell.

“She’s not the one that I want.”

ANOTHER STRIKE BACK TO BACK???

“I know,” he whispers, frowning at the ground, “I know, I’m sorry. I-I made a mistake and I will regret it for the rest of my life.”

the rest of your- BOY

“We both made mistakes.”

girl... i don't think you did tbh

“I was a fucking asshole, y/n. I was an asshole to you, every day of our relationship, I kept fucking up, over and over again and you tolerated it, you never left me. You never got mad at me, you never said anything rude, you never did anything bad, you were – fuck, you were perfect, you are perfect,” he holds your hand tighter.

yeahhhh she's way too good for you

“I’m sorry that I acted like I wasn’t interested in the things you loved doing. I’m sorry that I didn’t show you how much I really loved you. I’m sorry that I didn’t hold you enough, that I didn’t kiss you the way you should have been kissed, that I didn’t take care of you.” 

took him long enough 😭

This year he can’t even hug you.

BOOOOO

“I’ll throw it away later, huh?” She asks, mocking him. 

OH I'D BE PISSED TOO NANCY

Her eyes have strayed away from him just a few weeks after he left you for her. The moment Jonathan stepped into her life, her heart was no longer his, she gave it to her supposed new friend. 

OH SO YOURE BEING PLAYED LIKE YOU PLAYED Y/N AHAHAHHAA

It makes your stomach flip – you don’t know why. 

girl... calm your horses 🤨

“Uh, the store!” Robin says, sheepishly as she gives you a crooked grin. 

SHES SO ME 😭

“Oh my god, y/n!” Heather snorts, “stop joking about it or you’re actually getting them someday!” 

i would actually jump off a cliff if it happened to me 😭

Apparently you are pregnant with Eddie’s baby and living in his trailer. 

NOT THIS

The pregnancy rumor made you physically sick – it made you stand in front of the mirror, checking for signs that you had gained weight. You did not, it still made you feel nauseous and you had to cancel your dinner ‘date’ with your friends. 

OH NO BABY :(((

“You have no idea how much I wanna get rid of that title,” you laugh, “I’m ready to give that position up to Chrissy.” 

girl we don't have cheerleaders here, do you know what i would do to be a cheerleader?? 😭

Jonathan shrugs, refraining from rolling his eyes, “cause you’re the captain of the basketball team and she’s cheer captain.” 

CAN PRINCIPAL MAKE IT EVEN MORE AWKWARD

Jonathan huffs with a soft chuckle, “yeah, you look good but uh, Steve? You’re supposed to look into the camera,” he says awkwardly. 

PFFF THIS IS SO AWKWARD IM—

“That uh, that was our dream. I only wanted to go to college with you.”

bro really based his whole life on a high school girlfriend 😭 that's bravery

“I got a job at the ice cream parlor,” he clears his throat, “Scoops Ahoy.” 

YESSSSSS OMG WE'LL GET SAILOR STEVE (and Robin? 👀)

“The one I’m pregnant? The one where he sacrificed a lamb to get my undying love and devotion? The one where I cheated on Steve? Which one of them all?” 

NOT THE POOR LITTLE LAMB 💀 was it served with hot sause

“Y-You look amazing is what I’m trying to say,” Nancy says nervously. 

enemies to lover arc with Nancy? 🫨

“You’re a little oblivious, aren’t you?” 

A LITTLE

btw how did you like 1989 TV? 👀 honey anon

BESTIE HI!!!!

I’m doing okay!!! I’m excited for Christmas season! 🤭 how are you? 🩷

OMG NO!!! why would they bring pocket knives to school 😭 (i got one too but only because i’m afraid of men LMAO)

Nancy had a reason to be pissed but damn girl, you stole someone’s boyfriend 😩

Robin buying the store bought cake is so relatable. I love baking but the moment I gotta bake a cake for someone I always fail 💀

AND WE DONT HAVE CHEERLEADERS HERE AT SCHOOL EITHER!!! 😭💔 like you can join a cheer team as a hobby but there’s no cheer teams or sports team in general at the schools here. I would’ve definitely been a cheerleader too if we had that here 🥲

And the principal ships steve and reader 😌 he cried when they broke up 😪

You’re definitely getting Steve and Robin at scoops ahoy with they’re cute little sailor uniforms 🤭

Also enemies to lovers with Nancy? Imagine if that was the plan all along 🤭 Nancy’s song would be Mastermind then

I LOVE THE VAULT TRACKS!! I love all of them but especially Slut! and Say don’t go (but is it over now? too ugh) AND I KNOW PLACES THE GROWL IN THE SONG? I SCREAMED 😭😭 how did you like it? 🤭

[actualbird]

okay so i am now interested in tears of themis EXCLUSIVELY bc of your fics and how well written they are, so. how does one get into tears of themis.

hi, hi!!! this is such a joy to see, im so glad you enjoyed my fics :'D and read them wiTHOUT THE CONTEXT OF THE CANON OMG....this made me smile lots

and YESSSS GET INTO TOT >:DDD

the easiest and most direct way to get into tot is to donwload the game's app yourself and play through the story! tears of themis is available on play store and the app store

but if you dont wanna play it, a less direct way to get into tot is by watching playthroughs. theres a playthrough for basically frigging every story that happens in tot, because people in the world are lovely

that being said, theres a Lot of stories in tot, so i realize it might be overwhelming whether ur play it urself or watch playthrus.

so heres a list in Chronological Order of how every story rooouuughly happen in the timeline to play/watch thru

(i say roughly because timeline seems to be more of a suggestion in this game JHVAJHSFVAKSJH but heres how each story came out on global server, haha)

note on the legend ive made below:

bulletpoints marked with a "***" are events that had happened in the game prior to this current day. almost all of these are no longer accessible in the game on this day today, so even if you do the Play It Yourself option, the only way to see the event story and the card stories is by watching playthroughs of it

only after putting this all down did i realize it just looks MORE overwhelming omfg, im so sorry. i do not realize how much has happened in this game cuz ive been here since literal day 1 ajhvfjks. bUT OK, TO MAKE THIS EASIER

ive also marked with a bird emojis what i think is the Most important to play/watch.

okay with that outta the way, heres all the big stories in tot in chronological order

Main Story 1-5 🐦🐦🐦

Personal Story 1-2 of each NXX Boy 🐦🐦🐦

All stories of cards available on the Permanent Banner

Event: all card stories for "Summer Breeze"***

Event: all card stories for "Mysteries of the Lost Gold" and also the event plot (this one u can still actually play cuz it was released as a DLC ingame and u can download and play it any time :DDD)

Event: card story for Vyn's Birthday (SSR Star in the Night) and also the event plot*** 🐦🐦🐦

Event: all card stories for "Symphony of the Night" and also the event plot***

Event: all card stories for "Romantic Rail Getaway - Part 1 (Marius and Luke)" and also the event plot ***

Event: card story for Luke's Birthday (SSR Warm Embrace) and also the event plot*** 🐦🐦🐦

Event: all card stories for "Xmas Partyland"

Event: all card stories for "A Love Poem to Skadi" and also the event plot*** (NOTE: TRIGGER WARNING for a LOT of fucked up shit in the event plot of this one....)

Event: all card stories for "Romantic Rail Getaway - Part 2" and also the event plot***

Main Story 6 🐦🐦🐦 (NOTE: TRIGGER WARNING FOR EXPLICIT ONSCREEN VIOLENCE)

Event: all card stories for "Electrifying Night"***

Event: card story for Artem's Birthday (SSR Two Hearts as One) and also the event plot*** 🐦🐦🐦

Event: all card stories for "Secrets of the Tomb" and also the event plot***

Personal Story 3 of each NXX Boy 🐦🐦🐦

Event: card story for Marius' Birthday (SSR Crown of Glory) and also the event plot*** 🐦🐦🐦

Personal Story 4 of each NXX Boy 🐦🐦🐦

(happening currently as an event) Anniversary Event Plot

(coming soon, like, literally on July 11) Anniversary Event Cards 🐦🐦🐦

in this list, i leave out a lot of tinier bits of story like recorded private messages and minigame plots, but this is the gist of the Big Stories

if ur interested in the specific cards of each boy and which ones for each of them are most important to watch and in what order, i can help you out there by sharing my own personal list!!! but Only For Luke (and maybe marius too) HAHA...these two are the only ones who i have watched....Every Single Card From.

so yea, if u want a rundown of that, feel free to send another ask! or feel free to send an ask about anything related to tot because i am Obsessed with this game and am always willing to enable ppl to get into it >:D

once again, thank u for reading my fics!! im so glad you liked them <3!!

EDIT: ive put some trigger warnings on particular stories that feature Quite Prominent triggers but i dont wanna spoil as well....overall, a general trigger warning for murder, violence, mental health (usually not handled all that well, lol. what can ya do, pop culture psychology, HAHA...), suicide, self harm, terminal illness. these occur a bunch over a lot of stuff. if uve got qs for specific stories, feel free to drop another ask :DDD

[quarantinescarpet]

My quotes list from over the years

FRESHMAN

-“‘tis I the frenchiest fry.”

-“Someone’s stabbing me in the leg with a spork.”

-“I A DEMOCRAT OOPS”

-Spill the pony tea.

-How many geese would it take to bring down a full grown man?

-Point is, I love you both and I would 10/10 ride a motorbike

-“Apparently someone in Mr. Hopkins G block got scared of turkey noises.”

-“It’s like... it’s like a stupid game of Russian roulette Tetris with giant death machines”

-“I feel like you'd have a shrine to remember Spider-man, complete with candles and every single ‘mr stark I don't feel so good’ meme printed out.”

-“don’t ask me, I don’t know anything about the sex”

-“I WILL RIP YOUR DICK OFF”

-“What’s the difference between gay silence and regular silence?”

-“what yields a focus pencil? A patience tree?”

-“I might boogie on the desk so hard that the gum keeping it together gets unchewed and yeets back into the dimension it belongs in”

-“You smell like my fencing teacher”

-“sponsor a sponsor! Become a child”

-“Woof woof bitch, im a furry.”

-“yo to the hoe”

-“does my emoji still smell?”

SOPHOMORE

-“peter doesn't have a detachable head”

-“two thirds of me is wearing glasses”

-“You look like you have autism. Are you vaccinated?”

-“When did Haydar become friends with Emily?” “In hell”

-“I know you have something to do with Filbert”

-“Ayo beans check”

-“Who cares about beating the game‽ I’m a goose.”

-“You can’t make contact lenses out of cranberries”

-“cannabalism is for beans”

-“You know the party is lit when the epileptic kid starts doing the worm”

-“Imagine getting stabbed to the beastie boys”

-“I CANT TORTILLA MY CHOCOLATE MILK”

-“Pure drip”

-“The All Mighty King Tuggle Wuggle the Original... The 5th”

-“It’s a drink.” “Coal?” “I’m sorry who the heck is drinking coal??” “It’s heroin.”

-“Is climate change good or bad?”

-“I’ve had to keep her from stealing my toes for so long”

-“Apples are delicious, babies are not.”

-“It’s like I’m exfoliating my knuckle”

-“We are literally just birds.”

-“I’m slowly transitioning to emo. Today I’m wearing navy blue, tomorrow it will be black.”

-“Omg Aimee why are you such a try hard” “Oh my god Ava why are you orange?”

-“Wait what the fuck does crashing a funeral have to do with driving?”

-“Why are blonde people driving???”

-“That house looks like stephen king” “its super thicc?”

-“If you don’t do your homework, they are legally allowed to steal your cells”

-“Why would digging up graves be a problem we have to cover during a spa day??”

-“I would commit neck rape”

-“he looked at me and I looked at him and I was like ‘genocide’”

-“like Klaus, from Klaus”

-“SANKADANKA”

-“facism is also gender neutral”

-“I mean we all knew that the birds just wanted the body to be gone!”

JUNIOR

-“you know what they say in chemistry”

-“I got it from bed bath and behind you”

-“A two line poem. I see a frog. My heart: 💕❤️💓💗💕”

-“who needs a straw when you can suck it out the hole?”

-“I wish I could get neutered”

-“eggs are so well named”

-“You’re not a fandon? We don’t standon.”

-“If you’re horny just walk it off”

-“potatoes and molasses, there is inequality between the classes!”

-“save the tiddies”

-“I think I could explain socialism” “okay do it” *doesnt do it*

-“what part of no interruptions does Trump not get?” “The english part”

-“my knees how they crackle like rice crispies”

-“the planet is dying you fucking walnut”

-“do you think I’d be able to avoid conversion therapy?” ”no you look dumb as shit have fun at camp.”

-“the US military uses 738 billion dollars per year, and we can’t dunk the moon into the pacific ocean? Where are our priorities? Disgusting.”

-“I hope he dies on my birthday”

-“the doctor’s sewing you up and you’re like ‘harder daddy’ and they just leave you to bleed out on the floor.”

-“I don’t know what your parents do for a living” “I’d have to kill you if you found out” “oh he’s a conversion therapist?”

-“Peaning, pregnancy, protection.”

-“Being railed and math are two totally different things”

-“Aren’t all white people just german strokes?“

-“the pickles are tasty tonight, don’t you think?”

-"Gay people have feelings too! I mean those feelings aren't valid, but they have them!"

-“Grapefruit is the Wild Kratts of roblox”

-“My lungs are rejecting christianity”

-“Lettuce cereal”

-“get zooted”

-“why are they doin that to my boi Eric Snowblower???” “... do you mean Elric Stormbringer??” “Yes OMG hi futon”

-“Milk towel (sent with gentle effect)“

-“nose haemorrhoids”

-“my favourite colour is bitches”

-“THE LESBIAN FISH WHATS HER NAME”

-“You’ll have time to pull moose daddy”

-“The more you beat it the bigger it gets”

-“Were you wa today??”

-“oh uh slaves are now horses”

-“tarnsgender is a lifestyle”

-“not me misgendering my dishwasher”

-“Kiss! Kiss Kiss!”

-“its a regular human but you can open it up and take a shit inside of it” “like a kangaroo”

-“kiss kill marry, good piss boy, eric snowblower, michael”

-“if you don’t wanna strike the set, strike yourself.”

-“did you listen to waterparks in middle school or have you had sex?”

-“he said his pullout game is strong and he’s only used a condom six times” “tell him he needs the practice”

-“its a didney movie”

-“I already have a dick so I’m good with the foot sucking, thanks!”

-“I don’t misgender you cause you changed your pronouns I just misgender you cause you have pronouns”

-“made a joke and nobody laughed”

-“You’re a socialist gray shut up”

-“dont straddle my dog shes a child!”

-“chloe, kim, kendall, kourtney,,, the genders”

-“which constellation looks most like a dick”

-“I’m being intimate with my pudding. Only my pudding loves me.” “Yeah but it feels a little violated”

-“vending machine, easy bake oven, and ramen are the four food groups?”

-“mom I found your tinder”

-“doesnt this baby look like it would grow up to be hitler?”

-“anti smack”

-“I said no farting”

-“I’m at the point in this trip where I want to make out a little with every dog I see.”

-“I’m worried about your mom right now” “I’m worried about the dogs”

-“I’m going to start streaming” “awesome I’ll watch you! I’ll download Tinder”

-“jesus is coming are you clenching?” “Did you mean swallowing???”

-“Today when I said I had an image to show you and you came to look at my phone I wasn’t on Instagram yet and I was worried you were going to see that my last google search was what is a craisin”

-“My username is deep_seated_fear_of_geese”

-“Savour the flavour, uncle”

-“potential energy this, kinetic energy that, when will anyone start paying attention to the most important energy. dumb bitch energy”

-“Happy easter i guess i don’t know why the heck jesus likes eggs so much” “Jesus has an egg obsession” “And he has a bunny fursona””

-“Cause I’m kinky for color coding”

-“I’m going to name my child Brad. With a silent gh. Braghd”

-“Headcanon that Prince Philip died because he saw unsolicited feet pics“

-“I kin prince philip”

-“theres three genders: kailer, gay tyler, and regular tyler”

-“I swear to god they spent half of their budget making those titans asses so scrumptious”

-“Everything is terrible, can’t magnum dong, repressing my emotions”

-“Master has given dobby plan b. Dobby no longer needs the hanger”

-“I want someone to be just as obsessed with me as my social worker is”

-“You wanted to end the conversation so you decided to be homophobic.”

-“It is commonly thought that there are two types of people in this world, communists and pessimists.”

-“Glass half full glass half empty everyone shares the glass”

-“I thought it was about to be something sexual about slushees and I was like: 😃?“

-“Piss on, I know how to have sex.”

-“Sarah we’re making milf jokes wake up”

-“Its like im having a panic attack but I cant stop making kink jokes”

-“good old fashioned jesus?” “I said gay sex”

-“the straggot and the slurs”

-“grandpa has had way too much time without his meds”

-“You’re gonna find ur special someone bro ❤️ or someone to raw you idk what you’re into”

-“Do you wanna represent conversion therapy?”

-“Don’t punch me! I’ll get a boner”

-“I’m known to frequent elementary schools at night”

-“ever since I found out there were ants in baked beans” “WHY ARE THEY THERE? JUST BAKE THE BEANS!”

-"aaron burr shot hamilton which is kinda kinky and im not into that" "i guess he forgot to give him his safe word then huh"

-“we can’t make these jokes tomorrow people will think we’re fucking crazy” “nah man people will just think we’re FUCKING”

-“this 14 year old just looked me straight in the eyes and said drill me daddy-o”

-“they piss on you when they’re comfortable with you. Thats how it works”

-“are penguins fish or mammals?”

-“car washes are traumatising”

-“it’s okay gray has a 22 year old sugar daddy”

-“I get vored easily and yeehaw”

-“You get really stinky when jade honks for bill”

-“Jade needs a shit sleeve when she honks for bill can we go dunky now”

-“not the llama,,, the liQuid”

-“I’m allergic to jesus”

-“if you cant see stuff in your head how come you can vacuum?”

-“dont be a whore drink instead”

-“pain is temporary, existence is temporary, we’re all temporary”

-“I did not know veggie tales was religious”

-“you’re a sussy baka yes sorry now can we watch the video”

-“I assumed everyone in tech is gray”

-“skyrim wasn’t bad I just wanted fussy”

-“im not gonna get a shrodinger kink”

-“those crocs are bitchin”

-“you seem so put together” “it’s just the shoes”

-“capitalism is my sugar daddy”

-“when aang is riding someone do you think he says yip yip

-“Capitalism breeds innovation? How bout you breed this bussy”

Senior

-“Ollie: Can Jewish people eat the Lorax?

Jillian: Yeah. He is canonically a Nazi you know

Ollie: …Are you implying that nazis are kosher?

Jillian: Yeah how do you think we won the war dumbass”

-“I wanna get manhandled”

-“chryssy is SO thicc. Thats why benson loves her.”

-“are we still meeting autism?”

-“so what im hearing is you stole my prostate??”

-"Benson doesnt have a liver? What about her alcoholism problems!”

-“do [squirrels] have beaks or are they flat?”

-“ I feel like I’d fall into a pond.”

-“I didn’t come”

-“Cis piss”

-“YOU GRABBED HIS JICK?”

-“Everytime I come out as ace people send me all their ace stuff” “omg thats what I do for my italian friends”

-“I wanna be someones thyroid problem”

-“Yeah you could go to bobby about your skin cancer”

-“I feel really pregnant right now”

-“stomachs love diluted slim jims”

-“benson is a milf”

-“aj just gave birth to me” “how?” “teamwork”

-“the universe is nothing but a collection of corpses”

-“tight shaggy”

-“the moonwalking bear will come back to haunt you”

-“You forgot your jizz in the shop”

-“Please be a monster fucker”

-“Wipe the milk moustache off your face because I can’t talk to you”

-“the moonwalking bear will come back to haunt you”

-“You forgot your jizz in the shop”

-“Please be a monster fucker”

-“Wipe the milk mustache off your face because I can’t talk to you”

-“Mr. Hands is my safe-word”

Freshman pt 2

-“nah this isn’t true love this is smash or pass man”

-“the more swords the more smash”

-“virgin??? Like VIRGINIA??”

-“He’s really going ham on him”