#im aware a lot of this is a me problem dont come for me

[itsaspectrumcomic]

'if you can't go to physical stores just order your clothes online, after all it's easy to return them if they don't fit!' no it's not!! if I want to return a package i have to leave my house, get to the post office before it closes, stand in a queue, get the qr code up on my phone, show the guy at the counter the first code and explain I have two packages in the bag I gave him so there's another code to scan after this one, wait patiently while he packs them up, holding my phone up the whole time so he can see the other code on the screen, then he looks up and says he's done and indicates I should leave so he can serve the customer behind me, and I politely remind him there's another code, and he gets all pissy that I didn't tell him there were two codes before he packed things up except I DID and I'm all apologetic that he didn't hear me (like I understand i also have auditory processing issues but did he have to get stroppy), and there's a growing queue behind me while he makes a big show of taking the packages out of the bag and putting them in separate ones huffing and hawing the whole time and I'm standing there awkwardly because he still hasn't scanned the second qr code and I'm worried he forgot again and the queue is getting really long and it's a small shop and everyone knows I'm the one causing problems and I wish I'd never ordered those damn tops they didn't suit me at all and made me feel bad about myself and I just want to go home and lie face down on the sofa and anyway that's why I don't like ordering clothes online

[mainfaggot]

how do you cut someone off

[jacepi-time]

But people have to bear in mind, some individuals are just that head empty. Its especially hard for some people who are neurodivergent especially who have ADHD to learn to pick up on clues of what someone wants. Because someone didn't pick up donuts or forgot to take out the trash doesn't mean that they're being willfully neglectful or that they don't care. A lot of times it just doesn't enter someone's mind that it would even be an option.

As someone ND I would have interpreted it to mean someone was texting me about craving something sweet but bemoaning that there's no treats in the house. A lot of times I will complain over a lack of a treat I want but I'm not asking someone to buy it for me, sometimes its a passing craving. If the text followed up with "can you pick some up on your way home" it would clarify the previous sentence, especially since that is still a standard way of asking someone for food. I might ask them if they want donuts if I were on a grocery trip but it might not pass my mind otherwise. I would feel bad about it afterward if they felt they were being neglected because of my obliviousness.

Neurodivergence is a spectrum and we can't assume everyone could pick up on these skills quickly. Sometimes it is the case of a husband being lazy and that is BAD, but it's in error to assume 1. This is mostly heterosexual couples problem and 2. That the partner is being intentionally malicious. I feel this is an issue that occurs in romantic relationships and platonic relationships like friends or roommates. Some people intentionally are lazy and ignore chores while others genuinely just don't see it. This is especially prevalent with those with ADHD who are often accused of being lazy or insensitive for similar reasons. As someone neurodivergent and memory issues I always need to be told to do chores to contribute with peers because I just will not see what needs to be done and its very difficult for me to see a full trash can and automatically think "I should throw this away." Not all brains work that way. Communication is important and yes people need to try to meet halfway but this applies to both sides of the relationship. If the wife was upset that he didn't get her donuts that's a valid emotion to feel but she should let her husband know what she meant so that in the future he would be aware of it. Not everyone is ignoring the signs to be abusive, a lot of times its genuinely difficult for some people to grasp. Someone can have so much love to give and show it in other ways but still forget to take the trash out. Its good to learn indirect cues but its by no means easy, for a lot of people it isn't something everyone on the spectrum can quickly grasp, its been years and I still can't fully despite my attempts, having so much trouble rise from this. The least someone can do if they know their friend or spouse is on the spectrum is to be more forgiving and understanding and make an effort to work together to find a manageable method to communicate. Everyone is different so we can't broad stroke solutions, but we can acknowledge both sides of the issue are validated in their frustrations and that a comfortable middle ground can be achieved.

I've seen a lot of "You have to communicate directly/don't expect other people to read your mind" posts going around tumblr lately and while I really do appreciate them because it's a skill a LOT of people need to work on, I do want to remind everyone to please meet people halfway sometimes.

I recently read a story on Reddit about a guy's pregnant wife texting him "I'm craving donuts but we don't have any in the house 😔" and he DIDN'T stop to pick up donuts on the way home from work. Everyone was taking his side because "she needs to communicate" and "he's not a mind reader" and "How was he supposed to know she wanted him to get donuts???" People, ffs, why on earth would she text him that while he was at work if not because she wanted him to get donuts? I was flabbergasted everyone was taking his side. "How was he supposed to know??" What? Like yeah it's true she didn't say "I want you to get me donuts" with those exact words in that exact order but the reason why people get upset if they hint they want you to do something and you don't do it is because they feel like you don't care about them and aren't actively thinking about their feelings. Especially in a marriage or LTR they are in a situation where the assumption is you care about filling the other person's needs.

Someone who loves and cares about someone will get the donuts "without being asked" just because their partner expresses a want or need. That's what someone is fishing for when they say "Aaaah I'm craving donuts 🥺🥺🥺" It's less about the donuts and more about feeling cared for. Sometimes straight up asking "Can you get me donuts?" defeats the purpose.

Also, women are typically socialized to communicate this way because they're punished socially for being too direct. I've heard that people of color, especially black people, often do this too because they're likely to be branded as "aggressive" if they're too direct with white people. So it might be a good idea to be a bit intersectional if we're trying to encourage people to be more direct.

Take the stereotypical example of a wife gets a new haircut and then gets upset that the husband doesn't notice. She's not literally mad at him for not saying the exact words "I like your new haircut." She's upset because she feels like he doesn't look at her and appreciate the efforts she's putting in anymore.

Obviously this will vary widely depending on the nature of your relationship with someone, but especially when it comes to intimate partnerships, there are certain things your significant other should not have to tell you directly. It's probably safe to assume your wife or husband wants a birthday present even if they don't ask for it. It's probably safe to assume your bf or gf would appreciate a valentine's day present or a compliment without them having to literally ask for it, unless they explicitly say otherwise.

This is difficult for a lot of neurodivergent people to learn manually if it's not instinctual and they didn't learn it growing up (lord knows I didn't) and yes, it's true that most people (especially NT people) should learn to communicate more directly. But also, your relationships would probably benefit from learning to read indirect cues and just pick up the donuts on the way home because you heard your wife is craving them. Sometimes what someone wants is for you to think about what they're feeling and what they want and do it without them asking directly. It's up to you whether or not you do that, but sometimes that is asking. I think this is what people generally mean when they say their partner is "thoughtful."

[borzoilover69]

Jake Writing Guide : 2024 Colourised!

Ok well, this isn't the prime year 2014 but I really wanted to make a concise and easy to consume guide for how to write Jake accurately since he can be quite the fussy tosspot if you dont know where to start. [ WARNING ITS A BIT LONG I INCLUDE JAKE DIALOGUE TO HELP WITH UNDERSTANDING WHAT IM SAYING. ] First off: drop the commas, and the apostrophes. He uses largely run-on sentences and has a sort of rambly sense of words. He does however use "these" every now and then and just as it strikes him tends to *Drag out the ole roleplayisms.* when it suits the situation.

Jake doesn't really tend to use old-timey slang but he does have rather antiquated ways of speaking, with a pension for more articulated language. He only REALLY breaks out the old timey words when particularly impressed or exasperated for emphasis. Usually, these words are british slang.

Note how he goes on a ramble that is slightly self-centred. He also spins stories similiar to how Dirk does, but without the ice-cold deal. Tossing in his own spin with his own words.

This one is just really fucking funny.

When hes particularly exasperated he leans into it MORE. Just really spreads it on thick. Like if he continues to say funny words you'll forget everything else and be distracted by his whimsy.

Jake is FAR more socially aware than people give him credit for but prefers to avoid tricky subjects hes not too comfortable with until he feels suitably ready for it, prefers battles he knows he can win so to speak. He also tends to think hes overthinking it and backtrack into ignorance. He overcomplicates things same as dirk does but rather than doing Dirks "yup thats a me problem. Im going to quietly stress about it now!", jake brushes it under the rug and tries not to think about it like a college student trying not to think about their outstanding academic paper and the promise of "Yeah, I'll do it later" (doesn't)

Note his more genuine understanding of why Dirk functions the way he does, well aware of the pros AND cons of having something like a combat machine hunting him.

His awareness of Janes crush and reluctance to deal with it:

Subsequent backtracking and denial of said premonitions, brushing it under the rug. Again, stating his reluctance to get into it because it's a situation he's not wellversed. Jake doesn't like being put into unpredictable situations, he prefers the easy road that won't inconvenience him much.

Also his desire to be seen as seemingly perfect and not have to dwell on others intents. Now this is something I don't see touched on as MUCH on writing guides for Jake English (then again the majority were made in 2014 so who can blame them.) But when Jake touches on what he views as MORE TABOO feelings aka ones which compromise the go-getter Adventurer image that arent BRAVE and GUSTO and GUNS, such as weakness, hesitation, he tends to pose back to the asking party as a question and reconsider his thought process. Like: Do YOU think its ok for me to feel this way? Why do you think that? Could you imagine me thinking something like that? He cares a LOT about his image and whats acceptable for him to be and to mask his difficulty in some social situations.

He doesn't like acknowledging that which might be sort of difficult for him to come to terms with, with the ye olde character trait of repression that him and John share, believing if he keeps his feelings buttoned up, they don't need to feel embarassed (aka: avoidance)

Hes also a fair bit more snarkier than fanon gives him hooks for. His subconscious takes the form of his best friend, but its commented as being “like hal, in terms of snarks”. Jake can also be the snarky customer to Dirk AND Hal, and Caliborn too. He's a gentleman to ladies (TO A DEGREE) but with guys he's not afraid to be more cutting with it. I am begging you on your hands and knees to drop the woobified jake english and make him slightly snarky and a bit offputting and weird. Jake grew up in the middle of a jungle and burned his grandmother.

Also he seems to be slightly aware of outside forces, note him calling attention to the fact he knows things he shouldn't canonically even be able to know.

Because Jake IS a little freak. He thinks corpse puppetry is funny. He punches what he thinks is fish hitler while ranting about movies. Hes funny as fuck. Hello.

However, with all of THAT out of the way, lets focus on some of the more ABRASIVE parts of his personality. While Jake is funnily charming with his old lingo and tendency to ramble, he has issues! One HUGE one is reluctance to fully FACE things he doesnt feel he has a full grasp on. He DOESNT like going out of his comfort zone, he DOESNT like talking about his emotions to people he really cares about or thinks has fallen for his manic dreamboat pixie persona, He's well aware people fall for it. He works hard to make sure people DO. But it sort of restricts him to that persona, he can't grow from it as long as he holds onto the idea that this persona hes chasing is the only way he can BE without being vulnerable.

Jake can be OVERBEARING, and not just that, painfully unaware when he's up his own ass! This critic he gives to Dirk applies to himself! The reason why he doesn't like brainghost dirk is because GOD forbid the man self-reflect juuust a little and find something that upsets him. Nope! Not going to deal with it. Just as quickly as he is to switch the thought that everyone loves him, he is just as likely to switch to think that everyone doesnt.

Anyways, I think thats all I have to say, Jakes words speak a LOT about his character, and I genuinely love him a lot. He has some words i think about a lot and hes genuinely such an awesome guy. I'll let a few choice pieces of dialogue from Jake himself close this out for me.

This was one of the last conversations we see with him. And I still think about his words a lot.

I'll probably edit this when I get the energy. But I think i covered most of it. Happy writing!

[uriekukistan]

JJK 261 ANALYSIS: What happened, how, why Yuuta made the choice he did, and a discussion of tragedy & major themes of JJK

MAJOR spoilers below the cut so please read at your risk.

i wanted to dissect what happened a bit, and address a few points i saw floating around since the leaks dropped. of course, these are all my interpretations, so feel free to disagree, i just had a lot of thoughts floating around that i wanted to put out for discussion.

I. Gojo was never coming back

first of all, i don't know how you guys expected him to survive bisection. i said this earlier in the day as my justification for why i didn't think gojo was coming back, prior to leaks, and i don't think i can say it any better now.

and this is just my interpretation of reverse curse technique, but if anything, yuuta in this chapter supports my theory. in the scene where he's on shoko's table and arata nitta says that he's used rct to keep the wounds from getting worse, but it might be too late for yuuta to recover. in that case, gojo wasn't coming back from being sliced in half. it's just not possible.

additionally, and this is another thing that i've said for a long time. he says right in episode 6 (i forgot the chapter) that his dream is to reset the jujutsu world raise up a generation of strong students that work together. that is why he became a teacher. this very clearly comes from his relationship with suguru, and it's one of gojo's clearest motivations from the beginning.

the problem is, in order to achieve this, he has to die. so long as satoru gojo is alive, he will have to carry the burden of being the strongest alone. his students won't have to work together, because gojo will just take care of everything. this is already in the works, with how many people have come together to stand against sukuna. if gojo lived and defeated sukuna on his own, this wouldn't have happened, and bringing him back would, again, reduce the need for his students work together.

unfortunately, gojo has been doomed by the narrative from the start, and his primary goal as a character basically requires his death to be realized in its entirety.

II. They're not heroes, they're jujutsu sorcerers.

yeah, i'm stealing megumi's line because it's true. he literally said it twice for a reason, and then yuuta said a repackaged version of it in this chapter ("we're about to fight history's strongest jujutsu sorcerer. if we can win by throwing away our humanity, we shouldn't even be arguing about this").

trust, all the characters are well aware of the ethical issues with taking gojo's body after he's dead, both with what it means for gojo, and with what it means for yuuta. but this isn't a story about heroism, this isn't a story about the power of friendship. if it was, yuuji would have saved junpei all the way back at the beginning of the series. it was pretty clear from the start that this wasn't going to be the typical shounen manga like that.

in fact, expecting it to be is unrealistic. it's unrealistic in real life too, if i'm being so honest. everyone wants to think they'd take the moral high road in this type of situation, but the reality is, when you're fighting tooth and nail against an opponent that is fighting dirty, you have to fight dirty too if you want to win, and i think that's what yuuta is trying to point out in this chapter.

this happens in real life wars which im not gonna get into examples because i dont want to start that kind of discourse, but like...it's so great to be idealistic and hope that virtue will triumph simply because it is virtuous, but i think if you take a look around, you'll realize it's true that good people do not get what they deserve simply because they're good (that's so megumi of me to say...). or if you think of it like a board game, if a player is cheating, it is infinitely harder to win without cheating yourself.

maybe this is a bit pessimistic of me to say, but you will not win a dirty fight without getting dirty yourself, and i think it's pretty clear that sukuna fights dirty.

additionally, it's shitty to see gojo be weaponized, and i understand that, but it plays into the themes about strength in jjk, which i will get into.

III. This was not an "ass pull."

i don't really have much to say to this. did you think yuuta wouldn't take kenjaku's technique? plus, kenjaku being eaten by rika is probably the only surefire way to ensure that they're dead and won't just hop to another body. i've already said why gojo wouldn't come back, but it makes sense that if yuuta were to copy kenjaku's technique, who else would he body hop into, if not gojo? there's already narrative evidence to support this action, from the guidelines of yuuta's technique, kenjaku's technique, and gojo's technique, to the character of yuuta okkotsu, which i want to do an analysis in a separate post for him, so i won't get into that right now.

idk...to me, all the threads connect, plus i felt like yuuta's return was foreshadowed pretty heavily in 259 & 260, with the mention of yuuta's plan that yuuji couldn't know, and then on the last page of 260, the comparison of sukuna and yuuta, so for me, i always thought that it was not actually gojo, but yuuta at the end of 260.

IV. Themes of JJK: The burden of being "the strongest," or even just strong

even many jjk fans see gojo as "the strongest," and nothing more, doing exactly what the narrative sets up as one of the chief problems of jjk. a lot of gojo's actions are spurred on by the burden he feels from being the strongest modern sorcerer. his entire character is built around this problem of the responsibility and burden that falls on someone who's considered to be "the best" at anything.

in fact, this is also a driving point for geto too, and the conflicts geto and gojo come into with each other, as well as geto's inevitable fall from grace. it all comes from this issue that's at the core of jujutsu society. gojo recognizes that, and, as i mentioned, that is why he became a teacher. so that no young sorcerers will feel the burden of being the strongest alone.

the problem is this is easier said than done. after gojo dies, this burden gets passed down to yuuta, and he feels that immense pressure, which is why he decides to do what he does. he says "haven’t we been pushing the burden of being a monster onto gojo-sensei alone? if gojo-sensei is gone, then who else will be the monster? If no one intends to become one, then I will!" and i think this really powerful evidence of the pressure and burden of being the strongest, and i think the word monster is really important here. the burden pushes people to be something they're not, a shadow of their true self.

it distorts morality, like with geto. it isolates people, like with gojo. it forces people to go to unspeakable lengths to uphold their burden, like with yuuta. it leads people with immense power to doubt themselves, like with megumi. it leads people to feel like a cog in the machine, not a human, like with yuuji.

this is sooo so important and a key theme of jjk, and this chapter in particular, and the driving force behind yuuta's actions.

V. Themes in JJK: Loneliness and Isolation

this one has, in my opinion, a bigger role in the story overall than just in this chapter.

as i mentioned before, gojo is lonely. the only person who could understand him was geto, and he turned away from him, and then died. he seems like a silly guy or whatever, but it's just a mask.

but geto also felt alone and isolated, and that's why he turned away. between gojo and geto, neither of them were able to put share the burden of carrying their strength alone, and it's what kept them apart and made their relationship so tragic.

arguably, and though he would never admit it, sukuna is also lonely, though it's buried deep within him and something he will likely never acknowledge, despite it, and his lack of understanding of love (arguably a symptom of his loneliness), are major reasons for the way he acts.

yuuta, though supported by maki, inumaki, and panda in a way that the previously mentioned characters are not, is still isolated. he alone carries the burden of his strength. he was also alone his whole life after rika died, and then again when he was shipped off to africa, away from his friends (yeah he had miguel, maybe i'm missing something, but i dont see them having that type of relationship.

not only that, but yuuta recognizes gojo's loneliness, and reaches out to tell him not to try to stand by himself once again, and gojo admits that's something he can't do, the reason being his relationship with geto.

even further, yuuji and megumi, the parallel to satosugu, are both deeply lonely, except for when they have each other. i mentioned in this analysis that the reason megumi can't just get up and keep going is because he's alone and has been for over a month. i want to get into this more in my next point.

VI. Where I think (hope) this leads for JJK

a satisfying ending for jjk, in my opinion, would be the resolution to this loneliness and burden of strength issue that has been present throughout the narrative. something like yuuji being able to save megumi and them being able to correct what went wrong with satosugu in their own relationship.

personally would like to see satosugu reach the ending they should have had through the itafushi parallels - let them save each other! but i do know gege said only one of them (the trio + gojo) will die, or only one will live....that was years ago maybe he changed his mind :D

we all want to see yuuji take down sukuna himself, but i think it would be a great resolution to see everyone take down sukuna as a team. no one person is alone, no one person has the burden of the strongest. i know i said this wasn't a "power of friendship" manga, and i stand by that, but i think this would be the perfect ending. yuuta throws his humanity away to do what he did in 261 because he felt like it was the only choice and it was something he alone could do, but yuuji represents unwavering humanity (literally his name), and i think to preserve that, they all need to share that burden. let them realize they need each other.

this is what gojo died for, and this is what he lived for. this is why he became a teacher in the first place- to raise a generation that can be strong together, that can support one another.

VII. "It's poorly written torture porn!" "There's no point if there's no happy ending!" etc

i said this in a separate post but tragedies have existed in literature since the 6th century BCE, 2600 years ago. many of the most popular stories throughout history have been tragedies, for example, orpheus & eurydice, romeo & juliet, even things like the fault in our stars and the titanic movie. here's a quick explanation of what it means for a story to be a tragedy (yeah it's from wikipedia but they want me to pay to access the original source and im not doing that for a jjk analysis)

one of things i like most about this definition is the use of the word "catharsis," which is to say that the expression of strong emotions is a way of bringing about renewal and relief. in literature, it's used to say that with the arousal and following release of negative emotions relieves suppressed emotions for the viewer. im not gonna get too personal with it, but i know i've experienced this with jjk.

additionally all of the aforementioned tragedies, they have a message, no matter how sad they are. orpheus & eurydice inspires perseverance and faith in the gods. even something like titanic has messages about everlasting love that overcomes all boundaries. jjk has its message too, and it's long underway. we just have to wait for it to reach its conclusion.

it's easy to lose sight of the bigger picture when we only get one chapter a week, and the fact that the pain is so dragged out is a bit tiring, i'll admit. but that doesn't mean it's bad. having negative emotions stirred by a story doesn't mean bad writing. i mean, i would hope you feel sad. i would hope you feel angry. i would be concerned if you didn't. but given that jjk is a tragedy, that just indicates good writing. especially these last two chapters, i've felt moved in a way nothing else has done for me in a long time.

as always, these are just my thoughts!!! im happy to hear from anyone what they think :D

[eatmyassssssssz]

Captain John Price

warnings : age gap implied

tags : @lillianastuff @mysticalgalaxysalad @mionacaped @madamemelancholysstuff @mactavishwritings @chaos-reigns-bitches @scribblescubbs @wandasbitch22 @warzxx @wretched-horn-monger @yippeerrrs @applbottmjeens @bowieisbored @blingblong55 @simonrileyscockring

old man price who struggles to come, he can get it up, but he struggles to come, takes him ages.

hes retired by the military by now, youre his little house husband/wife.

you started to realise you guys have sex a lot less. and when you do, its not really sex. he doesnt get anything out of it. he always makes you come, then goes straight to aftercare.

you worry, maybe he's stopped being attracted to you as he got older. maybe his taste has changed.

you overthink one night, hes fast asleep next to you, snoring. you cant sleep, youre trying not to be too loud with your crying and hyperventilating so you dont awaken your husband (although, nothing could wake up that damn man).

then, you snap. you shake him. until he wakes up. you needed to ask him why he wouldnt have sex with you, when he had a pretty high sex drive a year ago!

was it because you put on a pound or two because of christmas incoming?

either way, hes awake, sat up, half asleep, looking at his partner, having a borderline panic attack next to him.

"whats-, whats wrong?" he says, hurriedly rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out him eyes at least a little.

"why dont you like me anymore!" bit blunt, but you weren't thinking very straight right now, you needed answers, and now.

no matter what the answer was, you needed closure. you needed something to let you decide what you needed to do.

was the "problem" you, or did he just fall out of love?

"what- what do you even mean?" he genuinely did not get what you meant.

"youve not had proper sex with me in ages!" you say, rushed, words not going through your head properly.

his face fades. a soft pink spreads up his neck and ears. "so, its about that.." he mutters.

"am i not attractive enough for you to fuck me anymore? you make me come, then skip the part when you get off, and we go straight to aftercare!" tears were rushing down your face, you hiccuped as you spoke.

"babe- its not you, its me." he says, face in his palm.

"please- nonono, i cant afford for us to split up! i love you- and, and- i dont have any qualifications, i didnt go to college so we could be together forever, john!" your head was rushing to conclusions, your breathing was fast, choked and panicked.

"no! nono, i dont want to split up- i...what i meant was, i literally- it is me thats the problem. i can't- yknow...come." his voice was low, his fingers were massaging his temples, his face was red with embarrassment over this.

"...youre joking? thats why we've not had sex? i thought you were fucking someone else and had nothing left for me or something!" you were relieved, to say the least. "no- babe, i would never."

you nod. "i know- i just..overthink." you admit. he nods. "im aware.." you smile softly. he did know you well. "so..you cant come?" you ask.

he mumbles a response, "i can- just takes...a while...yknow? i can still get hard like i used too- just...not come easily." you smirk hearing that. "so...its possible you can come, just takes a minute?"

"yup."

"..you wanna try that theory?"

[foldingfittedsheets]

To ace anon: ace person w a vulva here as well but rather low libido tho. What i can share from my own experience is that getting off seems to be like a video game where you have to hit a certain amount of combos in a certain order to get to the o. Im not v creative and got some ideas from my ex, so i wanted to share some in terms of senses and kind of stim (what ffs talked about already) that worked for me or ppl i talked w

- Kind of weird but the comparison of the arousal building feeling similiar to how it feels like when you needa pee helped me. Like i get a better head start when i try masturbate when it feels a bit like i actually needa pee, like i drink a bit more water for that lol (sometimes unfortunately i dont even get to the o before i reaaally actually need to pee because it takes hooours and then i just give up cuz the build up is completely gone after peeing and also cuz its been hours)

- Stimulation of the clit w a layer of fabric inbetween (esp in the beginning) helped a lot, also lube in the beginning if your body isnt providing (yet), (unless dry friction does sth for you?)

- And sometimes stimming the clit w a showerhead or diff sex toys can do sth

- Definitely also more of the audio type and reading smut rather than actual visuals, for some reason when it comes to visuals yaoi does sth, more than het or yuri (im not even into men, maybe its about removing myself and only focussing on arousal or sth? Idk)

- what helps sometimes is rubbing the inside "rough"/bumpy patch of my vagina which is supposedly the most connected to arousal, im too lazy to google rn but iirc its the so called g spot?

- My problem is also how to keep the level of arousal/combo before getting distracted by thoughts of random things and it takes me out of the "immersion" like also when i start to be too aware of what im doing, the concept and or thinking about technicalities and how odd it all seems to me (yea im an overthinker w adhd)

- it seems odd at first but ace people can have kinks too! Maybe theres a [preferred depiction] of a [preferred kink] for you out there

Already been said as well: you just have to try different combos (like several locations of stimulation simultaneously) and sequences of stim, a long way to the o 🥲 tried out different sequences and combos of these factors and it doesnt even work all the time but at least i found some base lego bricks to build that orgasm lol its unfortunately not always the same order though and still such a struggle trying to find the right order/combo and what im "in the mood for" AND keeping myself in the lane, tho w time i did get to know my body a biiit better, rough estimations)

I wish you good luck in your self discovery, anon! Ik how hard it can be and i def do not envy you w your libido, lots more frustration i imagine

Sorry it got so long, was v sympathising w your struggles, again good luck and happy self discovery!

^

[bloudercrest]

A RANT

Have you ever been doubting yourself because you either have troubles waiting and being impatient for your manifestations or desires to come? Or have you constantly been looking for validation to see if anything has changed if this is your problem it’s OK because we’ve all been there.

Being impatient

Let’s say for example you have ordered a package from a website like Amazon or whatever etc. you know it’s coming already so you won’t be impatient and checking every second or doubting yourself is it gonna come because you know it’s there? You know it’s coming you know the second you placed that order changes have started. Now put that ideology and APPLY it to your desires. People tend to overcomplicate manifesting but really it’s so simple. Think of it embodied and it’s there already.

SEEKING VALIDATION FROM THE 3D

If you consistently seek validation from the 3D STOP IT NOW!! The 3D is literally a mirror of your imagination. The 3D is nothing more than a mirror. now with this thing about it if the mirror is the 3-D then that means the thing you have to change first is yourself your belief because once you have the belief everything will kick in and I’ve seen a lot of other people save the same thing so I’m aware this is basic knowledge, so if everyone is telling you this, why haven’t you applied yet? The answer is simple because I know from my personal experience. Ignoring the 3-D is HARD. Especially if you’re just getting into the lot of assumption. For example when some people listen to a subliminal right after they would look in the mirror to see if any changes happened but when it doesn’t they quickly say the subliminal didn’t work or subliminals don’t work in general and they generalize their misbelief, the other people and the community. DONT DO THAT!! When you are listening to a subliminal or affirming in general you have to believe and act like it’s there. Don’t go looking for changes because if you’re looking for changes that subconsciously telling yourself that you do not have it if this doesn’t make sense, let me break it down.

Let’s say you have an iPhone 14 you know you have the phone so would you say “I want this phone?” No, you would not. You would say “oh yes, I have this phone.” so why can’t you do the same thing with your desires? Do not let the 3-D define what’s yours and what isn’t because I’m telling you the second you think of something you want that is the literal second it’s yours.

IMPOSSIBLE - IM POSSIBLE

[jinxificada]

u can not like the idea of jinx with a man without being biphobic! and if somehow you can’t comprehend how lowkey biphobic a lot of the shit you say is please do some reflecting it’s deadass weird.. im sapphic too but. ur being weird abt it

i wanna scroll the jinx x reader tag in peace without random biphobic yapping

LMAO

im aware of how i can come off but honestly idgf im really sorry for u if u wanna prioritize men in ur life but thats not my problem. i dont even yap on the jinx x reader tag idk what ur on

block me or something but i have the feeling that u actually like my acc thats why u use the anon jjj enjoy baby

[cripplecharacters]

hello! so, i currently have an oc in the works. i dont have much for his character yet, and hes kind of a blank slate at the moment, however, whilst trying to develop him i had the idea to give him a disability; its something i dont do with my characters very often, and i feel like it could give some depth and realism to his character. however, i..... dont know where to really start with it? i have the vague idea that i think id like him to have crutches, so some sort of leg disability, but just going off that its been hard for me to find any condition that feels quite right. im unsure about making him an amputee either; seemingly the "go to" for anyone who wants to make a physically disabled character. i want to try and represent a disability thats less fetishized by the general public, and looking through this blog here its definitely apparent that a lot of people are tired of seeing basic half amputee characters with overly functional prosthetics; i wanna avoid that. sorry this has gotten a bit rambly, but basically what im asking is,, do you have advice for what i could use as just. a general starting point in this? im terribly uneducated and lost at the moment and id love some help. thank you :]

Hey!

It's great that you're interested in writing a disabled character (with care). I'm always happy to see more writers/artists/creatives do that.

You mentioned wanting to give him crutches, which is cool. However, you mentioned crutches as meaning a leg disability, which isn't always the case — and while I don't have statistics on it, I believe that most crutch users do not use them for leg-only problems, and a lot of them have the not-so-fetishized conditions. Here are some suggestions of what you could give your character, which hopefully gives you some ideas. If you need, you can get back to us with a more specific question after you figure out what exactly your character has.

Cerebral palsy — probably the most common reason for using crutches in non-elderly people, and the most common (physical) disability in younger people in general. If your character has diplegic (meaning lower limbs affected) CP, he could use crutches and if he has hemiplegic (one arm and one leg affected) CP, then he could use a single crutch or a cane. Cerebral palsy is generally extremely underrepresented when compared to how many people have it IRL. Just be aware that there is a lot of research involved just about the condition itself — multiple types (spastic/ataxic/dyskinetic), different kinds of body involvement, tons of different mobility aids and orthotics to learn about. There is also hereditary spastic paraplegia, which is not the same as CP but similar and progressive.

Spinal cord injury — the general assumption is that all people with spinal cord injuries are fully paralyzed below the neck or waist, and that's not the case. If your character has an incomplete SCI on any level or just a very low level injury, he could be using crutches or switch between a wheelchair and crutches. It's essential to research SCIs to have them be more than “legs don't work, but that's literally it”. SCI can come with severe nerve pain, spasticity, atrophy, and a lot of other things. Worth noting that spinal cord injury could be traumatic, but could also be congenital (spina bifida) or illness related (polio, transverse myelitis, spinal stroke, or cancer, for example). You could think that it's overrepresented in media, but SCI is generally just used as a “default condition” for why a character is in a wheelchair, and a lot of these representations are unfortunately very shallow.

Paralysis — in the monoplegic sense here. Much more rare than the rest of the things here, but your character could have a single paralyzed leg, largely due to nerve damage. Could be traumatic or illness-related (e.g., cancer, infection, or multiple sclerosis).

Stroke (and other traumatic/acquired brain injuries) — stroke can cause a million different symptoms and depending on what happens to your character exactly, he might need crutches. A big portion of stroke survivors deal with hemiplegia and could use a crutch on their non-affected side, for example. Some kinds of stroke might cause your character to have troubles with balance and require a mobility aid to not fall. Of course stroke will also cause other symptoms for your character (it wouldn't be too realistic to only have him have problems with his legs) for example speech issues, headaches, or seizures. Stroke can happen to anyone, and it wouldn't be weird to have a younger character with it. Very common in real life but very rarely represented in fiction.

Limb difference — you can definitely write a character with a limb difference or an amputation without fetishizing it. The main concern with the fetishization is the concept of the robotic limb that works just as well as or even better than a meat leg, and thus the character is “fixed”. But your character could just… have a realistic prosthetic (people do use prosthetics with crutches) or not use one at all. A lot of congenital amputees, people with limb differences, or with high level (above knee) amputations might do that. He could also have a leg length difference, which could cause him to need crutches (for example, Morteza Mehrzad has one of his legs significantly shorter after a pelvic injury, and he uses crutches among other mobility aids).

Chronic pain — very broad category for too many specific conditions to count. Neuropathy in the legs and/or lower back could be a reason for using crutches, for example. Unhealed, or poorly healed past injuries. Arthritis in knees or hips. Hypermobility that makes him unsteady or dislocate joints. Pain in bones or muscles where he can't fully weight-bear.

Gait disorders — another broad category (sorry). Your character could have problems with his gait and need aids for that. It could be caused by dyspraxia (I have it), ataxia, progressive muscular dystrophy (there is a lot of different types), Parkinson's disease, or a lot of other things. Could also be injury related.

And of course you could have multiple characters that are disabled to make sure that there is some variety.

I hope that the above list gave you some ideas for your character. If you have more questions, feel free to send another ask

mod Sasza

[majimaisms]

If you could elaborate on the health freak isms I would leave my estate and stocks to you in my will, because jeemers is, to me, the epitome of someone who survived for one reason (jeemers' being saejima (to kill him?? So normal of him)) and then, now that the moment has passed, Can't Stop Fighting To Survive even though they don't genuinely want to anymore

*rolls up sleeves* ok. so this is the main one

but there's a bunch of stuff that like... implies he's. generally hyperaware of his health especially with how *often* he brings up stuff like this. putting it under a cut bc its long

i think his obsession with exercise and having an active lifestyle is not because it lets him be a better fighter or because he's vain about his appearance, though i do think both of those things contribute to it -- i think it's because he worries about his future health. "you'll turn into a big pile of mush when you get older" like hello. are you ok. majima is all about *investment* so this is just his way of investing in himself to save himself headaches in the future. and it's not like... abnormal for a person to be conscious of this like it's healthy and everything i just. don't think majima *can* be normal about it, especially considering how RECKLESS he is about his health when it comes to everything else. it's not just the way he fights, it's the fact that he smokes and drinks like crazy too. and i think he approaches it as a balancing act, with a "work hard play hard" sort of mentality. but at the end of the day he does not live like someone who cares about his own wellbeing, and yet he takes care of his health like this? THATS not normal to me

and there's of course the. which i think hes especially weird about because he denies that he has any problems with his sight just before he says that. he's like. my vision is fine i only have a missing eyeball thats it. think im getting farsighted though. which OBVIOUSLY doesnt count as having problems with your vision, because, yknow. because it just. doesnt. dont worry about it. and he says this about getting eye surgery too

and then there's this. which

like this sounds like SUCH a stretch i know but its still interesting to me that he has a mental catalogue in his head of "health problems a person can potentially experience" ALONG WITH how to get treatment for it ("they got clinics for that kind of thing"). like hes just gathering info about that and like. its kept in a mental archive for him to access later. "i saw something on tv about that" and you remembered. because it was important to you.

similarly it stood out to me that in the first screenshots, he talks about the biological mechanism behind the health benefits, so it seems like he actually reads about this stuff, like it's way beyond a surface-level interest. (unrelated but i also thought it was interesting that he mentioned "dioxides" in kiwami when talking about climate change)

also i think these are worth mentioning here

because i think it really shows how *aware* he is of like. dangers and how he takes precautions against them. and worries about other people not doing the same. yes i know this is literally everyone in the world ever, everyone is like this, BUT. again, he's like this *despite* being SO careless about his own safety!!!! like. WHAT is going on there. it's because i think fighting is an exception for him where he *allows* himself to be reckless about this. because he isn't any other time

and i think even this line about his hair which is saying something about how *particular* he is about his appearance

*can* translate into a similar attitude about his health too, like it may seem like a stretch but when you look at the big picture he is absolutely like. neurotically *thorough* about "body maintenance" stuff

theres a lot more lines you can view through this lens of. being really fussy about his body/health/appearance. but i dont think those count as "evidence" so much as like, stuff that makes sense in the big picture. obviously lots of people who are normal about their health couldve said any of these things in conversation but the conversations with saaya end up revolving around these topics *because* majima can't stop bringing it up. so instead of seeing them as isolated lines i think its useful to think of it in terms of. what does majima *prioritize* in life, in his thinking, what does he like to *talk* about. and this is what he literally cant shut up about. so

also this is firmly in hc territory but i can absolutely see majima as like. a hypochondriac who is very strict about his diet and exercise as a way to gain a sense of control over his anxiety about his health. not to mention the "payback" aspect of it all, for the year of torture he endured in the hole where he had absolutely no agency over his own body

anyway. hope this was insightful!! also. if you want to elaborate on your thoughts about majima being someone who cant stop fighting to survive. please feel free im v interested

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hiya sex witch

Hope ur having a good one!

I have a sexual health question. Im 28yo M and am as far as i am aware overall healthy, but sometimes i have trouble orgasming during sex, but rarely during masturbation. Im aware that contrary to popular belief men dont always orgasm 100% of the time and that there is nothing wrong with having difficulty with "keeping it up" so long as its not health related (i dont usually have difficulty with this part specifically, i just feel from experience that some times this is forgotten among people so i wanted to mention that)

I enjoy sex with my partners and im mentally very in the mood for it! Im not really nervous and havent felt pressured with them but some times it takes a very long time for me to finish, like more that 1.5 hours and up to 2 or 3 one time, and understandably my partners dont usually want to go that long lol i also find it frustrating because i feel the need around the 30-40minute mark but like i dont get that final push if that makes sense?

I did online searching and most answers are kinda wishy washy about causes other than excess masturbation, ive cut down on masturbation because alot of places say that that can be a cause but i only masturbated like once or twice a week and now im down to twice a month but it still happens.

Ive also heard that a too tight circumcision can lead to desensitisation and is what im kinda thinking this might be, i was circumcised at birth and have what the forskin restoration website ( www.restoringforeskin.org ) says is a RCI-0 or maybe RCI-1 which are considered super tight or tight respectively, both of which can lead to lack of sensation. And am considering maybe working on restoring my foreskin due to this, but i wanted your opinion on how like legit this all is considering it kinda sounds idk farfetched to me? Like being able to just stretch the skin back out with tape, is that even a thing? And does this sound like a possible cause?

Thanks for all your hard (no joke intended)'work and ur also awsome!

P.S. tumblr is being fucky on my phone all the time so if this is not anonymous please ignore/dm me to say make it anonymous again or whatever tanks

hi anon,

thank you so much for your question! it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it already, and it was very interesting to read.

I have some hesitation in declaring that something is physically the matter with your penis, mainly because you mention that orgasm tends to come at a much more typical speed when you're masturbating. in the case of a physical problem I'd usually expect to see similar results whether you were having sex solo or partnered, which to me suggested it might be more of a mental/emotional blockage here?

but, having said that: I'm not a healthcare provider! and it sounds like a visit with one to discuss your observations might be really beneficial at this point.

while foreskin restoration is a thing, it's also a thing that doesn't have much research backing it up, and long-term results aren't very well known. consulting with a urologist before attempting a restoration sounds like it would be a great idea for you, as they could help confirm whether your foreskin is the problem and advise you on safely practicing restoration if it's an appropriate treatment. or, if that isn't the case, they're likely to have a much better idea about what else might be causing your situation.

best of luck!

[armor-goblin]

okay given how fucking weird and rapid-fire everything is (already, has been for ages) and to remind myself too: We Need To Learn To Fact Check.

i am talking about anything we see about trumps antics and I am talking about international news and I am talking about local news and I am talking about nearly everything in our lives. it is tiring, and takes more effort. but i think this is the only way we get thru the world right now, is by checking what we share however we can. it won't guarantee we are sharing only accurate info, but it DOES help us focus on sharing more accurate stuff and not buying into mis and disinfo.

Context/why i know this: im an academic librarian. I teach classes and do research on misinformation and media literacy among other topics, and i teach about authority of information and finding and evaluating info all the time. when I teach people to evaluate information i use Mike Caulfield's SIFT method, which is great and adaptable, and consists of these four moves:

STOP. this is the most important one. it just means: take two seconds before you click reblog or share smth. ask yourself: what is my emotional reaction to this content? what does it want me to do with this post or information?

do I know this is true - bc I've already checked into it before or I know something related to it that corroborates it - or am I far enough removed from the situation that I don't really know? for ex: I know gazans fundraise on tumblr bc i have tunblr, and that conditions in gaza are awful bc of both user posts and news coverage I've seen. I don't have tiktok or see much from it that isnt reposted, so I paused more before sharing that last post bc im less aware of the cjrcumstances.

INVESTIGATE THE SOURCE. where did this come from and do I know that source of information? can i identify the author not just the website it was shared from? what position is this person in to know what's going on? they might have expertise, education, a job, they might also just be in a place where things are happening (ukraine, gaza, los angeles, etc) or have access to a place where things are happening (tiktok, for ex).

FIND ADDITIONAL COVERAGE. if this is the only place you've heard about an event or statement, look and see if there are others reporting on it. sometimes you are looking for broad coverage (lots and lots of reporters and civilians have reported on the conditions in Gaza independently) and sometimes for very specific coverage (i wanted to see more than one screenshot of the TikTok ban msg before I believed it was real), but what you really want is to see if others are talking about and reporting on something.

this is called lateral reading btw and it's a really critical piece of fact checking.

TRACE CLAIMS TO THEIR SOURCE. who was the first to say this? where did they say it? was it misinterpreted along the way? the internet is a giant game of telephone and messages get distorted. this one is particularly important if you're not finding additional coverage AND/OR if the coverage is all weirdly samey.

highly specific example here: in 2020 there was a brief time when ppl were saying that ibuprofen was dangerous for covid and could heighten your risk. i am ibuprofens georg and I was on it 2x/day high dose at the time, so this could be a problem for me. so I started citations tracing - following citations and references and news posts and academic preprints. and finally found a brief and uncited Twitter post from a French health minister that appeared to be the original source, and along the way I found NO other corroborating info that wasn't citing that specific quote in the end. and thus. I took my ibuprofen.

this part takes time and effort more than anything else, but it's also often illuminating. I dont always go all the way to TRACE. but I have that move in my pocket for when I need to. it is very similar to a wikipedia rabbit hole where you start somewhere and end somewhere very different - but if you looked at your browser history you'd see all the pages you clicked to get there.

thats SIFT! you don't have to do each move for every post u see. if you take anything as a habit, start from the top and just STOP for a second before you share or repeat something wild. ask yourself about it a little. this is what i consider the most vital step, and it makes it easier to do the others in time.

we can't know everything. we will sometimes share misinformation by accident. we will sometimes share malicious disinformation by accident too. but I think we owe it to ourselves to try and build these habits, and it makes it a little harder for the people in power to convince us of whatever they want this week. it makes us more skeptical and more informed. these are always relevant skills and they're more and more important every day.

[firesnap]

i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.

ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?

its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?

im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.

This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.

I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.

This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.

My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.

With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.

Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.

(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)

But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.

[halitis]

Teen Roy Harper and Oliver Queen shenanigans? I usually just see grown up Roy with Ollie but I crave more of a father - son bond.

ty for sending through the ask! they send me fucking INSANE!!! i love complex parent-child relationships and i think a lot of people see roy’s speedy era with ollie as just. all bad. but it isn’t! ollie is a good dad overall, yes he has had horrible moments and made lots of mistakes but he did work hard to fix his wrongs (n-52 ollie and roy's first re-meeting can go suck my left tit).

(sorry i took so long to respond! these posts actually take quite a while to type out, and get my thoughts down.)

the first time roy got sick while he was with ollie, ollie was stressing. he’s not ready for this! stitches? easy. girl troubles? no problem. but a fever and runny nose? oh god oh fuck. he’s relying on what he’s seen parents do in movies, so he decides to read roy a story! roy is certainly too old for this and also Doesn’t Love reading, but he bears it because it’s kinda funny for a bit. after like third time ollie tries, roy just goes “pls. you don’t have to do this. lets just watch a movie or something.”. now it becomes a tradition that whenever one of them gets sick, the other will just chill and watch movies with them. they don’t need to talk, the quiet company is much better.

roy genuinely looks up to ollie, so much. he admires the man in everyway, roy grows as a person in ollie's presence. roy developed his sense of justice and ethics from ollie (you can see it through how they both prefer to try and change the system over the individual). i think for the longest time, ollie could do no wrong in roys eyes, which is why their relationship fell apart so harshly because roy had unrealistic expectations of the man and ollie wss just... Not being a good father in this moment. it took a while to adjust his self worth to not be based off his perceived value to others.

[continued under read more]

ollie may be a lot of things, but he is Not dumb enough to not give roy the sex talk. is it the best? probably not. but he was VERY serious about having it when roy moved in, because he remembers himself as a teenager and is just like "oh god. oh GOD..." (he likes to think hes not like regina georges mum, but he deffo is.... ur getting old dude :/ sorry to tell you)

(DONT COMMENT ON THE FACT THAT HES WATCHING PORN. IM AWARE. I DONT QUESTION ANYTHING THIS MAN DOES ANYMORE)

when ollie first starts going out with someone, roy goes and gives ollie the exact same talk. in front of his date. ollie is just like "ahaha.... kids right?" roy has to spend the night at hal's house hiding out from him. (not out of any serious fear of repercussion, more playful).

i know the stereotype is that ollie's always getting into fights over politics, but it is actually so incredibly both of them. these two only increase in energy and passion when with each other. catch ollie going "YEAH THATS MY BOY!" when roy is chewing the fuck out of someone.

to me? they are both so autistic... idc no one can convince me otherwise. ollie doesn't realise till he hits his late teens, and even then hes in denial about it. he comes to terms with it a bit better after the island, so when he starts to recognise the same things in roy? he is quick to give that boy all the support he needs. he refuses to even let anyone talk shit or about it near roy, because he is so petrified of the the same internalised ableism he had manifesting in roy too.

ollie gets a small tattoo for roy, nothing big. probably just a little one on his back or ankle or something. he didn't even really plan to do it? it just happened. he sends roy a pic after its done and roy is just. emotionally wrecked.... he does not know what to say.... how does he even express what this means to him? its a permanent commitment to him. (he ends up just messaging back "looks ugly :/", ollie can read between the lines well enough to know what he means).

the first near death experience roy has with ollie he gets Fucked Up over it... he's already lost 2 other father figures, he can't lose another. he doesn't say anything about it, but hes attatched to the hip for ollie for at least 2 weeks... ollie didnt even realise why till he mentioned it off handedly to diana and shes like.... thats a child. hes scared. Fix It. they still dont talk about it, but ollie stops getting snappy at roy for following him around.

okay i have more to say, but im actively about to get in the car so i gotta go!!! anyone feel free to send another ask if they want me to finish up laterz!

aND FOR U ANON... WHO WAITED 50 YEARS FOR ME TO FINISH THIS.....

I <3 U

[shimmershifts]

holy shit everything makes so much sense. i was going through your posts and i noticed a theme— you commonly say to "direct your awareness" but my question was to what? but the answer has always been to your DR. i thought i was doing this, but i really wasnt. the problem has always been the same.

in this post, you say that the first change is always that, at some point, you started thinking as your DR self. you also say "...some people expect their 3D to change first, like they're expecting to start feeling their DR with their CR body or something, which (for me) has never been the case."

what im trying to say that is, for many shifters, especially those from shifttok, we expect the first change to be in the environment, not in our thoughts, because 2020-2022 shifting methods always ended with smth like "when you feel your surroundings change, you've shifted" and that was the defining factor for shifting or not. so we dont even think to change our thoughts while in the middle of the method because the confirmation supposedly comes from the senses. it felt like trying to convince yourself that your surroundings have changed but you could still very much feel that your bed was the same. and if you think your bed is the same, you're thinking from your CR. this is how it was for me, at least.

but the confirmation comes from the natural change in thought. thats what sets everything off, if im reading your posts correctly. and that makes a lot of sense. you said theres either pure awareness, absence of awareness, or destabilized awareness. if youre pure awareness, you cant feel the 3D. if you have no awareness, you cant feel the 3D. if you have destabilized awareness, you cant feel the 3D accurately, and even that is enough.

so if you cant feel the 3D at all or accurately, then it cant be the defining factor for shifting. the defining factor here is you.

pls tell me if this doesnt make sense LMFAO

hiii and yes, i think that makes sense! when you are shifting, it is your awareness that shifts, not your CR body. so i think some people may hinder themselves because they're constantly trying to feel their DR with their CR nerves. for some people that might work (i don't actually know) but for others it seems to simply ground them here, focusing on their CR senses. you do not need to make yourself "feel" or fabricate "senses" of DR with your CR body and brain, your awareness will shift to your DR and then your DR body naturally feels and thinks in your DR. that's how i see it anyways!