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castiel-barnes · 3 years

Text

Saving you.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x reader.

Summary: Poe saves you after being severely tortured by the first order.

Warnings: Angst. Blood. Medical inaccuracies probably. Leia being a surrogate mother. Wedge being surrogate father. Fluff.

Wordcount: 1.7k

A/N: I know I wrote a poe for just the other day but I needed to try do angst with flyboy.

Tag: @phoenixhalliwell

Poe had always been that level headed, ace pilot that everyone knew him to be. But this was a side no one else had ever seen. Not even General Organa. He was running off of no sleep and caffeine and that was it. Bags had formed under his eyes, his usually somewhat neat curls were all over the place.

You had been captured and tortured by the First Order. After your X-Wing had crashed troopers had dragged you away, and took you on board of Kylo Rens Star destroyer. It had gotten to the point during being tortured that you started to dissociate from the reality that was happening around you.

"What are they doing?" Hux asked a lieutenant that was in your cell with him,

"It seems they are distancing themselves from reality sir, to cope with the pain." The lieutenant responded as they look down at you, and your weakened state as you stared into the distance.

Back on the resistance base, Leia physically forced Poe to go to bed. Making sure that either Rey or Finn were there to make sure he actually slept. He had to be honest, he did feel better physically after getting some well needed rest. After getting some sleep, he woke up and freshend himself up. That was until Finn came running in the room.

"POE! LEIA NEEDS US!!" Finn stated heaving the words out. Poe, BB-8 and Finn running or in BB-8s case rolling at full force down corridors leading towards the control room. There Leia stood over a table of information. Sensing the 2 boys and the droid enter the room, she turned and looked Poe dead in they eye.

"Poe... we found them." She simply stated. A little bit of pressure had lifted off of Poe's shoulders for a moment, knowing that he would be able to get to you. Everything around base started getting busy, Poe, Finn, Rey and BB-8 got the falcon ready and we're on their way to the ship.

You were still in your cell on the floor. The extent of your injuries worse than anyone on base has had for a long while. You were certain that your leg was broken from the crash, only to be made worse by Hux and his men. They hadn't given you anything to eat or drink, so your hydration levels were extremely low. Cuts and bruises had formed all over your body. You were finding it difficult to move anything, and the extent of some of your injuries would probably require some PT and a slow recovery.

Inside the Millenium Falcon, Poe sat there nervously his leg bouncing up and down. Rey walked over to him and kneeled in front of him.

"We're gonna find them Poe." Rey stated quietly,

"I know. It's just.... what state they'll be in." He replied even quieter. She left him to simmer with his thoughts until it was time to board the destroyer. The destroyer came into view after dropping out of hyperspace, and Rey could sense your presence but it was very weak. After spending a few minutes, the three of them along with BB-8 were aboard the ship and Rey used the force on some troopers to find you.

Coming to a stop outside your cell, BB-8 got the door open for the others. Poe was first in, and the sight shattered his heart into a million little pieces.

"Y/N? Honey, it's Poe. We're taking you home." Poe stated quietly. He could see your shallow breathes, but there was no recognition of the fact that he was there and not to mention you were almost cold to the touch. Picking you up as gently as he could, he heard you groan and your eyebrows pinch a little.

"Poe?" Your voice cracked as you felt your body being lifted,

"Yeah baby, I'm here I'm saving you baby. We're going home." Poe responded. The five of you moved through the ship, Finn and BB-8 in front, Poe with you in and out of consciousness in the middle and Rey at the back. It wasn't long until you were all in the hanger, blaster fire all over the place. But you all managed to get away on the Falcon.

Poe laid you gently on the bed, and sat next you holding your hand. Rey and Finn left the two of you alone, knowing that Poe would just want to be with you and not talk. As he sat next to you, he felt your hand squeeze his ever so slightly but no words came out. You were too tired.

"I know baby, we're two minutes away from base." He said quietly to you, his free hand stroking your hair back gently. Surely enough two minutes later, the falcon dropped out of hyperspace right above the current planet the base was on.

Medics rushed onto the falcon, helping transfer you onto a floating medical bed. Poe ran behind them on the way to medical, but soon stopped him when they went to get ready to be treated. Poe started sobbing, as he slid down the wall not realising that Leia had just arrived. She got Poe to stand up and then drew him in for a hug and let him cry. Leia knew that you two were in love, and it made her heart break to know that Poe almost lost you in the way he lost his mother, but also then having to hear you have been tortured by the First Order.

Eventually, Poe and Leia were allowed to see you. You looked better, the miracle of bacta doing its job. And when Poe touched your hand it was far warmer than it had been previously. It took you a long while to wake up, the bacta working as best it could. The medics checked on you frequently, and Poe stayed next to you for almost the entire time.

You opened your eyes, the bright light of medical causing then to shut again. Slowly your eyes adjusted to the light and you were able to see what was going on around you. Looking to the left of you, you saw Poe dozing at an odd angle in the chair next to you.

"Poe..." you croaked barely anything coming out, "Poe." You managed to say a bit louder. He sat up with a start, almost falling off of the chair. His eyes were wide but tired, as he looked at you tears welled in his but a smile was across his face.

"Hi honey, how are you feeling?" Poe asked quietly stroking your hair back,

"Like absolute shit. You look tired." You replied bringing one hand up to his face.

"It's cause I am baby, you gave me a scare." Poe stated leaning into your hand and locking eyes,

"Your gonna need physical therapy for that leg you know." He continued kissing the palm of your hand.

"I'm sorry I scared you flyboy. And I know, I gathered that when I was.... when I was. Yeah I gathered." You stuttered out, everything suddenly coming back to you at once. You looked at Poe, tears now falling down your face.

"K-kriff I'm.... im so sorry Poe. I almost left you and... and I was so scared, all I could think about was you." You continued breathing starting to get more panicky.

"No, no baby. Hey listen Y/N it's fine, there is nothing to be sorry about. Baby just breathe, please just breathe for me." Poe stated instantly taking your hand in his and calming you down. Eventually you started breathing properly again and squeezed your eyes shut for a moment.

"I'm sorry Poe." You whispered,

"It's okay baby, I understand. You've had a bad few weeks. But I'm not going anywhere and neither are you, because you're safe." Poe responded kissing you gently.

***********************************

It had just been over a month now that Poe had rescued you. Medical had cleared you to go to your own quarters, but you had to go back either every day or every other day for physical therapy. Some days were better than others.

If Poe was away though, you'd spin his mother's ring around your finger. Which he had given to you as a sign of unity, not long after you were discharged.

Today though, you had a rest from therapy and you decided you'd go sit outside and watch Black Squadron practice flight maneuvers. Sensing a presence next to you, you turned and saw that it was Wedge. Wedge Antilles was like a father to you, he was one of the first faces you saw when you joined the Resistance, and he was the one that taught you everything that you knew.

Standing up, you smiled and hugged him. He sat down next to you and looked at the X-Wings flying past.

"Hey Wedge." You said smiling at the older gentleman,

"Hey kid, how's the leg?" He asked smiling back at you.

"It has its moments. It gets bad some days and then others it's like I didn't injure it. But therapy is helping, I just wanna get back out there." You replied looking up as Poe soared past,

"Yeah I know the feeling. I didn't tell you about the time I basically had the same accident as you did I?" He stated tracking your eyes to your fiancé.

"No sir." You shook your head, now focusing on Wedge,

"Not long after the fall of the Empire and the destruction of the second Death star, I went out of my way to find if there was any remnants of the Empire left behind. One day, my ship got shot by a Tie and I crashed into one of the few remaining star destroyers. Injured myself of course, spent a little while moving around the ship before being caught and tortured for answers. This was above the planet Akiva, and they took me to the imperial Palace which was a magnificent building. After that I don't really remember much, but that's where I met Snap and his mum. I done therapy for a injury similar to yours." He explained, his eyes looking into the distance as he remembered.

"I didn't know that you met Snap that long ago." You replied,

"Yeah, he had a droid modified from the clone wars called MR BONES. But the thing is, therapy will get better Y/N." He stated smiling a sense of understanding there.

"Thank you Wedge." You smiled back giving him a hug again. The two of you sat there for a while, until you both agreed that getting food from the mess sounded good. You used your cane to help you around, sometimes placing most of your weight on it.

The good thing was that you had someone who understood how you felt, someone who loved you dearly and someone that could bring you or your fiancé comfort anytime.

#star wars #writing #poe dameron #oscar isaac

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ratsoh-writes · 4 years

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Can i get a match up, if that's ok?

I'm 5'8, but i wear boots most of the time, so 5'9-10. I'm pretty chubby but I'm not self conscious about it. But I'm also pretty strong, last time i checked i could lift about 180lbs.

I'm ace and demi-romantic. So it's likely that we would be friends first, and go really slow with the dating part of the relationship.

Im a pretty low energy person.

I've been told that I'm very thoughtful, kind and funny. I'm also very stubborn, and have a fun fact and joke for almost everything.

I have a pretty high amounts of anxiety, and i do get depressive episodes but I've gotten a bit better a pulling my self though them.

I don't prefer being out in busy areas, because i tend to get overwhelmed.

I have kinda a weird thing with food to.

I grew up with not a lot of it. So I tend to stock pile probably more then i need, and keep a list of what i have. I have some anxiety about running out of food.

If your someone that I'm close to, I'll probably ask when was the last time you ate. (Exp. "Did you have breakfast yet?" "What did you have for lunch?" ect.) I also always carry some kinda snack with me.

Hobbies: well it changes fairly often and I'm always trying out new hobbies. Currently im in to wood working, salvaging an restoring/rewiring speakers, oil pastels, and knitting. And the of course the classics standbys, music, reading, tv shows and cartoons, and naps.

I also love to learn, when it's something that caught my interest.

Weird extra: i make nests out of pillows, blankets. My bed is one big nest, and i have a smaller one on the couch.

Also, it makes something inside me very pleased/satisfied when someone i care about is all comfy-cozy.

Anyway that's all i can think of, talking about myself was surprisingly hard.

-🐌 ☕

Hello hello! It looks like you were stuck between two guys. Since I haven’t done one for him yet, let’s pair you with COFFEE (fellswap gold papyrus)

In the beginning, coffee is insanely shy and almost a bit skittish. It takes a while for him to warm up to new people, but once he does you’ll wind up with a goofy, witty and very loyal friend. Coffee is only attracted to those that he already has a close emotional bond with.

Coffee is pretty socially anxious himself, so being with him means that you’ll both struggle to talk to the cashier lol. At home dates are probably the best option.

Coffee would be good at helping with your food stockpiling. He’s a logical sort and will help keep you from buying more than you need. Coffe also doesn’t mind a SO who bags or mother hens a bit. He’ll take the reminders to eat with grace and will find it pretty caring actually.

Dating coffee includes:

Coffee’s job is actually restoring and beautifying old antiques! He’s a master at it too. He’ll be a good teacher if you’re determined to learn

Coffee loves to cuddle! Your blanket nests are his favorite to be. Just remember, he’s the big spoon. Coffee likes the feeling of curling protectively around his SO, cuddle sessions and naps together are a must for him

Coffee is a pretty big prankster himself, and he’s also sneaky as hell. Only very close friends know this about him. It’s not uncommon that you wake up to a pretty scenic picture painted on your face

If you’re wondering, the second choice was oak

#undertale imagines #fellswap gold #matchups

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anakinthetrashking · 4 years

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How’s the Heart?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26871853/chapters/65565265

Somehow I made it and it is FINISHED!!!! This is my fic that I wrote for @batfam-big-bang !!!!

The biggest of shoutouts and THANK YOUUUUS to my incredible betas: Ace, Skye, and Em!!! @toomanyfandoms21, @timmydrakewings, and @geekinthecorner !!!! I’ve never actually had a beta before, but for this i had 3??? You guys were so kind and patient with me and my last minute tendencies. Thank you for all your suggestions and edits!!! [heart eyes]

and then!! ARTISTS!! you guys really put your heart and soul into the pieces you made and i just,,,, want to cry,,,,THAMKKKKK YOUUU!!!! keep being awesome! im love u: Butter, Dean and Lucy!!!!!! @heybabybird, @greenbean-riverdean, and @houser-of-stories !!!!!

Its a Tim-centric 3+1 Three times Tim is helped or comforted by his family, and one time where he's doing pretty alright. (TW: Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal thoughts, etc! full tags on ao3)

1) Here I am to Share the Fear (Tim & Damian & Dick) Bruce is back and everything seems to be going well- so of course old fears pop up again. Damian notices his absence and tries is best in his own way to offer some comfort.

2) Fly Towards the Calm (Tim & Steph & Cass) Steph notices that Tim's failing at basic self care again, so she declares Movie Night. She and Cass try to remind Tim that he needs to take the time to care for himself and not just continue pouring himself out on behalf of others.

3) Night Will Come But Not to Stay (Tim & Bruce) Turns out catching the Clench and loosing his spleen have more lasting effects than they thought. Tim tries to ignore and push past his new found limitations, Bruce notices that something is off and is there for the inevitable breakdown.

+1) Fair Winds, Another Tale (Tim & Alfred) A rare event of relaxation, the Waynes have a picnic at the manor. Alfred worries about his family, but for now, it seems like everything is alright.

Read it under the read more or on AO3 !

Here I Am To Share The Fear

Too much. Everything was too much.

Bruce was finally back, and Tim was glad that everyone was so happy - despite them all being wrong.

Wrong.

WRONG.

He shook his head and put a light smile on his face, trying to focus on the conversation in front of him, but Dick was so loud. And there were far too many people in the mansion - in the same room - Tim swallowed and grit his teeth against the feeling of his organs crawling up his throat.

There were eleven people in the room.

Ten roses in the flowered centerpiece on the buffet table.

Nine cups scattered about the room.

Eight candle flame shaped light bulbs in the chandelier.

Seven white socks (why was Dick only wearing one?)

Six voices in variating clarity.

Five… Five? Five fingers on each hand.

Four windows, none open.

Three lamps, all unlit.

Two doors.

One exit. Viable exit, at least.

Zero people looking at him. Perfect.

It was time for him to go, so he took his exit as quietly as possible, noticing the volume of the crowd drop as he walked out. No one stopped him. No one seemed to notice. Or maybe they just didn’t care. Good. That- that was something he could deal with.

As he fled to his room, he couldn’t help but notice how alive the manor was. So many lights were on, even in empty rooms. Little things littered the place as if people actually lived here. A book on the table here, ready to be picked up and read from where they left off. A suitcase full of clothes there, waiting to be unpacked. Doors open instead of closed and locked. Bed covers turned down, ready to welcome them home.

Tim reached his door and saw the life that had flooded there as well. Posters, pictures of family and friends covered large portions of his walls. Little trinkets given to him were lovingly placed around his desk. It was more than he could take, so he ran. He ran and ran through hallways and past open doors until the warmth of the occupied portion of the Manor turned to the chilly halls of the guest wing. Back in the furthest unused room is where he finally stopped, willing his heart rate to slow down.

The room looked like something out of a book, everything covered with sheets and layered with undisturbed dust, no signs of life. The evening light cast the room in cool tones of blues and greys, shadows soft and hazy. The attached bathroom was much the same, cold tiles sucking the heat from his feet.

Sitting down, he hugged his knees to his chest, letting the lines of the sink cabinet dig into his back. Tim stared for a while, trying not to think, and letting the clock tick a rhythm into his head.

The clock sounded so loud, and his breath seemed even louder. Nothing felt ok. Exhaustion pushed at the edges of his vision while panic seemed to well up inside of him and claw into his throat. Everything felt like it was closing in on him so he pushed back, laying on the floor and stretching his arms and legs as far as they could go. The cold seeped into him and he vaguely wondered if that’s what it felt like to die. To let your warmth bleed out into the universe. Death… was a calming thought. As humourless as that was, it forced a short laugh out of his throat.

Death would be preferable, he thought, to whatever feeling this is.

Bruce had been back for a month, and for a little while the triumph of bringing him home had been, well, satisfying. Relieving. Exhilarating.

But now, somehow, he was left feeling empty. Hollow. Carved out. His skin was pulled taut over his bones and there was nothing inside. Each day was an empty victory. A consolation prize. An uphill battle against an unseen enemy.

Eating, drinking, getting dressed, sleeping, showering, all done out of the necessity of existence. But most of the time he didn’t feel like he existed at all. Just a doll or a robot - there, but not really. Tossed aside until needed again. Some sort of empty, semi-existent thing. It felt too much like being five again and waiting by the phone for that occasional Sunday call from his parents.

A single tear slipped out, unbidden. It left a quickly cooling trail in its wake.

Everything is so stupid. Tim thought, frustrated by his own stagnancy, willing himself to just do something, instead of just lying there considering the logistics of several stupidly lethal ideas. He was working on kicking out the thoughts when he was distracted by the sound of light, purposeful footsteps. Damian. With footsteps like that it meant he was trying to be considerate. Creepy.

“What do you want?” Tim sighed.

“Drake.” Tim could feel rather than see the curt nod Damian gave him. “Pennyworth brought out those blueberry scones you seem to favor. However, you were not present. So I…” His self-assured tone faltered.

Tim turned to look at him for the first time. “You came looking for me?”

“I would hardly call it looking. You frequent a few spots and the conclusion was obvious by the number of people that are currently within the Manor.” Damian sat cross legged on the floor, pushing a scone into Tim’s hands.

“But why would you…?” Tim sat up, arching an eyebrow.

“It is only natural to know your enemy, Drake. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” Damian sniffed and waited for Tim to take a bite. Then he continued. “Then you will best know how to poison them.” A (dare Tim say it) friendly smirk showed itself on Damian’s face.

Tim snorted, and for once they seemed to have gained a sort of mutual understanding.

They lapsed into silence again. Damian shifted, obviously wanting to say something but didn’t know how. The expression on his face looked so scrunched that Tim almost wanted to laugh.

Instead he asked, “Is it still unbearably loud out there?”

Damian clicked his tongue. “With Grayson in the room? Obviously.”

Somehow Damian seemed even more frustrated. There was a good chance that any moment now he would jump up and leave, but not before throwing out an insult to cover his wounded pride at having to retreat. In his own way, he was trying to offer an olive branch, and as tired as Tim was, something in him couldn’t let that opportunity pass. He could almost hear Dick’s voice in his head, telling him that if he would just talk with Damian, have a conversation, maybe they could find common ground.

For once, he could see the clumsy effort that the brat was making, and he knew deep down, more than anything they both yearned for warmth. Not the sort of warmth that contrasted the grounding feeling of the cold tile beneath him, but the warmth of human connection. The numbness that had been growing in him twisted at that thought and he decided to take a chance.

“It’s nice to have everyone around, but…” he glanced over to try to gauge a reaction, “I can’t seem to settle into it.”

A sort of recognition, reflection, sparked in Damian’s eyes at that, and some of the tension began to leave his body. Tim continued.

“I guess it’s just that there’s always been something. If I do well enough in school, maybe my parents will take an interest in me. If I become a better Robin, maybe Batman will go back to normal. If I bring Bruce back, maybe we can all be happy again… But it never works. It’s never enough, and now- now there’s just… nothing.”

A few moments passed, and Damian’s own internal battle ended as he found the words to reach out in return.

“I, too… Mother’s time was very limited. I trained and studied hard for any extra moment of time or nod of approval she could give… and after Father denied me, it was much the same, trying to rework standards and limits for his approval. Not having something specific to work towards does indeed seem… disconcerting.” Tim searched his face and found sincerity there, though his eyes seemed to be distant as he turned away.

Damian once again found himself at a loss for words, so he thought about what Grayson would do in such a situation. A hug was… out of the question, but- he lay his hand in-between the two of them, palm open. This, he supposed, he could do. Tim took it, surprising them both. Damian’s hand felt almost unbearably warm after the cold of the tile floor.

They sat again, together, in silence. It was more companionable, though still awkward and stilted in ways neither knew how to fix.

“There’s nothing more I can do for this family. There’s nothing I can think of.” The silence stretched before them, and Tim hesitated to put his fear into words.

Finally, he whispered, “ There’s no excuse for me to stay now.”

Damian’s face whipped around to face him. “As usual, you are wrong, Drake.” He scoffed, “Don’t you know you can’t choose who your family is?” pausing, he let go of Tim’s hand and stood up, turning to leave. “You’re stuck with us whether you like it or not.”

Quick but light footsteps sounded out in the hallway.

“Grayson!” Damian called, “Come fix Drake before Father requires his assistance again!” Nodding to Tim he left without another word.

Dick then came skidding around the corner into the bathroom, one socked foot sliding out against the tile. “Tim! Are you ok? What’s wrong? Why are you here of all places?”

Overly warm hands, distant eyes, honest feelings? Tim let out a deep sigh. “You should be more worried about the little gremlin. I think he’s got a fever.”

Dick tensed as if to sprint off again, and Tim held in a sigh of disappointment, knowing that Damian would be the priority, yet again. But instead of running off, Dick simply pulled out his phone and sent off a text, settling down into the spot on the floor that had been recently vacated.

“Bruce is on it.” He glanced out the doorway as if he could still see Damian storming past. “Did he-?” The question of his behavior went unsaid but not uncommunicated.

“No, we had a completely civil conversation. One might even call it a heart-to-heart, by our standards.”

“Therefore, he must be sick?”

“Other signs, too. But yeah.”

The buzz of an incoming message confirmed it, but Dick put his phone away instead of typing out a reply.

“A heart-to-heart, eh? I always knew you guys could get along if you just tried talking.”

“Don’t you dare say I told you so,” Tim shot a glare at Dick who was failing terribly at trying to look affronted at the very thought, “but it does seem like we are a lot more alike than I realized.”

“Who would’ve known?” Dick teased.

“Never mind, just say I told you so next time.” Tim grumbled. “Anyway, it seemed like he was really trying, and that he wanted to help in some way. I guess I just couldn’t ignore that.”

“Yeah.” Dick had his proud big brother face on. “I'm glad you guys are finally getting along. What did you talk about?”

“Oh, you know, feeling worthless without having something to focus on, questioning our places in people's lives, the usual. “

“That does seem to be a common theme in our family.”

“He called me family,” Tim murmured. “Or, well, he implied it. But for him, that’s basically saying it.”

“Tim, that’s…” Even Dick looked astounded.

“Unbelievable?”

“No, not unbelievable.” He chided. “But definitely surprising.”

“That’s one way to get me out of a bad mood, I guess. I was so surprised that it jarred me right out of my own downwards spiral.” Tim closed his eyes and took another deep breath. “Most everything still sucks, but that’s a bright spot, at least. My therapist keeps telling me to look for those. I guess I have another one to add to the list.” He turned his head to share a small smile before standing up to stretch. “That and Alfred’s blueberry scones. I sure hope there’s some left.”

Dick matched his smile with a blinding one of his own and reached over to ruffle Tim’s hair.

“You know, if you ever need to talk-“

“I know.” Tim bumped his shoulder into Dick’s. “Thanks, Dick.”

Fly Towards The Calm

“Think fast!” Stephanie’s entrance was about as subtle as a stampede. She must have been hanging out with Jason lately. As the door behind her swung closed, she tossed a tightly, carefully wrapped package at his face. He caught it with one hand as he finished reading the last paragraph of the proposal he was looking over.

“Evidently I’m the Wayne family errand boy now,” she whined as she jumped up to sit on his desk. “I drove the brat home from school and got enlisted by Alfred to deliver food to your sorry butt.”

“You could have said no.” he muttered. Peeling back the folded wax paper revealed a tuna fish sandwich, exactly how he liked it, though a bit squished from being thrown across a room.

“Refused? Alfred? Are you joking?” she asked, over dramatically taken aback. “Besides, I was rewarded with my own delicious sandwich and not one but two cupcakes.”

“Two?” his eyebrow raised.

“Well, he only gave me one, but generously allowed me to snatch a second. I didn’t eat yours because I’m nice.” She dropped the rest of his lunch on his now closed laptop.

“Indeed, I shall never be able to repay your kindness,” he said around his own mouthful of sandwich.

“You got that right. Anyway, Cass and I are gonna have a night on the town tonight, wanna come with?”

Tim hummed in agreement.

“Great! I’ll text her. You should probably get a nap first though. Come on, you can eat on the way.” She popped the last bite in her mouth and hopped off the desk.

Gathering his things, he glanced at her in amusement. “Alfred put you up to this, too?”

She rolled her eyes. “Do you even have to ask?”

Looping her arm in his, they headed to the door. He noticed a slight hesitation in her steps and turned to find her looking at him funny. But she just shook her head and let whatever it was, be.

Until they got in the car, of course.

Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye as she sped down the road she asked, with a tone he couldn’t quite decipher , “Did you use my dry shampoo?”

His mind ground to a halt. Of all the questions he thought she’d ask, that was not one of them, and for the life of him, he couldn’t reason out why. They constantly borrowed each others’ things without issue, and for that matter, so did the rest of their mismatched clan. Maybe he was hallucinating. Maybe he needed that nap after all.

It had been a minute, maybe he should answer the question.

“Got my own bottle.” He said carefully, “Seemed useful.”

“Hmm.” God, now she sounded like Bruce. How many odd habits had she picked up from them?

“Tim…” she sounded soft and hesitant, as if he were fragile. He hated when they did that. “When’s the last time you took a shower? Or ate a full meal?”

He contemplated it with a hum. “Patrol,” he said finally.

Stephanie’s hands tightened on the steering wheel for a moment. “Has it been bad lately?”

“What? …Oh.” Oh. “Not… really? It’s just been numb. Quiet. A bit like the way everything is muffled when you’re underwater.” A bit like drowning, he left unsaid.

She nodded and made a sudden U-turn. When he looked at her in askance, she shrugged. “We’ll patrol together another night. I’ll update Cass when we get to my apartment, but go ahead and text Alfred now. We’re going to have a self-care night with movies and facemasks and whatever other dumb indulgent Pinterest crap I can think of.”

Tim opened his mouth to argue but found he was too tired to care and yawned instead. “Nap first?”

“Shower first. Then nap.”

[BREAK]

He woke the moment she opened the door and turned his head to meet her gaze as she poked her head in with a grin.

“Ca-“ he broke off in a yawn, “Cass!”

With a quick glance behind her, she continued into the room, holding out a steaming mug. Tim sat up in bed, gleefully accepting it as she sat down next to him.

“Coffee,” he sighed in delight.

“Coffee.” She agreed with a solemn nod.

The silence was comforting as they sat there, leaning against each other, Tim soaking in the rare precious moments where he wasn’t rushed, or pulled this way and that. Reaching the bottom of the mug, he set it aside, wrapping his arms around his sister instead.

“You are a blessing upon humanity,” he said, “we don’t deserve you.”

She laughed and tightened the hug. The moment felt just like flying free above the streets of Gotham, and the thought of staying in for the night felt right. Cass pulled away just enough to look at him face to face, an amused twist to her lips.

“You smell like a Steph!” Squeezing him once more, she slipped away and was halfway out the door again when she turned as if she had just remembered something. “Oh!” her smile turned sly, “Decaf!”

“Hey!” He jumped out of the bed to catch up with her, but when he rounded the hall into the living room he was stopped in his tracks.

It seemed that somewhere in between dropping him off at her apartment to take a nap while she met up with Cass and “gathered necessary supplies”, and returning with said supplies, the original objective had been lost.

“It looks like you brought back half the manor’s supply of blankets and robbed a concession stand… and is that the old DVD case? I thought I got rid of that.”

“Yeah. Me and Dick saved it! Having everything digital may be convenient, but having a physical folder of DVDs just feels right!”

Tim suppressed the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose and decided to leave the debate of Digital vs. Physical for another day.

“Anyway, you’re up just in time to help us set up the blanket fort!”

An hour later found the living room unrecognizable under the piles of pillows and draped sheets. Tim and Steph stood in the kitchen sorting snacks and discussing the night’s activities.

“-and then there’s this green tea and honey one that’s really great, very soothing-“

“Steph, you don’t have to explain them all to me, you know I’ll always let you test your facial concoctions out on me,” he cut in.

“Of course I know that. I’m not rambling about them for my benefit- I’m rambling about them for yours”

A head tilt was his only reply.

“Ok, let me try to explain this in a different way.” she put down her phone to look at him. “Tonight, Cass and I are going to attempt to teach you how to take care of yourself.”

“I know-”

“Not in the way that you’ve done or that you know. Your version of taking care of yourself is to fool the cameras, the public, to fool Batman into thinking that you’re at your best.” she shoots him a look. “You’re not. You’re running on fumes and you can’t fool your family.”

“Taking care of yourself is NOT finding the lowest number of hours of sleep that you can ‘function’ on.” She makes quotes in the air with her fingers. “It is not replacing a meal with a power bar, even if the calories are the same! It’s not only taking showers when you have to leave the house, or shutting yourself in to do casework all the time!” her hands fly up in the air and she huffs.

Taking his hands in hers she looks him square in the eyes before saying more softly, “Self-care is eating full, balanced, Alfred-cooked meals as often as you can. It’s doing your laundry every week and brushing your teeth twice a day. It’s taking naps even when you would literally rather be sorting through the 5-year backup of paperwork in R&D. Or better yet, getting a full 8-10 hours of sleep regularly! It’s looking in the mirror and saying to yourself, everyday, ‘I am good enough. I am worthy of and deserve all the love me friends and family try to give me.’

And tonight! Taking care of yourself is having a spa night with Cass and I while we watch anime movies and eat copious amounts of junk food, because we all know that patrol burns an extra 2,000 calories anyway! Plus, we can look at the Affirmations board I have on Pinterest! Cass likes practicing saying them while she beats up bad guys. Says the look on their faces is priceless.”

“Funniest one, I said, ‘I aspire to be a blessing and an inspiration to others.’” Cass recites popping her head out from the mass of blankets, “Guy completely stopped! Then I punched him.”

Night Will Come But Not To Stay

“I cant- I can’t do this anymore! I won’t do this anymore!”

“Promise?”

“…What?” his tears paused for the barest moment, before overflowing again. Bruce was crouched in front of him, tear tracks staining his face.

A moment ago Bruce had been standing with his back to him, untouched by Tim’s words, or perhaps instead, disgusted?

But perhaps that conclusion was wrong. As Tim searched his face now, it looked more like he was the one in pain and exhausted beyond belief.

His lips were moving, and Tim struggled to catch up.

“What?” he repeated, softly and sniffly, a cord of self-disgust lashing out within him at the pathetic sound of it.

Not just tear tracks, it seemed. Bruce was still shedding tears as he repeated himself.

“Do you promise? That you won’t do this anymore?”

Tim’s mind felt like sludge as he tried to piece together how that request could possibly fit into the context of the last few minutes.

They had been training, not so long ago. Bruce had reached out to Tim first, this time. Offered to train together like they had in the past. Tim had jumped at the chance. He should have known better.

It had been going fine, at first. Great, even.

But his insomnia had been worse than usual this past week, and his other symptoms had been acting up, too. In response to the lack of sleep, maybe, or just the continued pattern he had observed, gradually worsening over time.

Honestly, it was probably a great big mix of things.

But he hadn’t been willing to cancel - not the first thing that he had actually been looking forward to in… too long to think about.

So, he’d shown up anyway, his body begging him to just rest.

They’d warmed up and started sparring.

Well.

It hadn’t even been fifteen minutes of sparring, and his body went from begging to outright rebellion.

He went down and couldn’t get back up.

And for some stupid reason, Bruce had decided to yell at him to get up.

So, he yelled back.

Yelled.

Screamed.

He’s not even sure what all he said, just that this last added bit of disappointment piled atop the ever-building terror of symptoms and lit the fuse that exploded within him and stole the earth from under his feet. It ripped through him and tore out his throat, multiplying as his view was constrained to the back of the man he respected most, seeming to be utterly unmoved by it all.

His obvious confusion and continued silence spurred Bruce to try to explain.

“Promise me that you’ll stop running yourself into the ground. Please.” He tilted his head to try and catch Tim’s eye. “I know you’ve been struggling, and not just lately. Alfred said you’ve seemed like you’ve been having an especially difficult time for quite a while. He said he had been meaning to bring it up to me before… and that he had tried to talk to you while I was gone, but that he couldn’t get you to stay in one place long enough to broach the subject. I know something’s going on. Tell me about it. Let me help.”

“Something’s going-? Help?” his laugh was incredulous and desperate as he dug his fingers into the mats beneath him before forcing them to relax. “No. You can’t- you can’t help me.” He scoffed. “Was this-“ he waved his hand around to try to indicate this situation that he couldn’t find words for, “this, supposed to be helpful?”

“Well,” Bruce looked a bit sheepish, “when you get stressed, I know you tend to internalize all of it. Direct it all at yourself. I thought if you had something outside yourself to direct it at instead… It had worked for-“ he cut himself off. “Well.” He said again, letting it rest a moment before continuing at a different angle. “What do you mean I can’t help you?”

“I mean, you can’t. I- I already researched it. There’s nothing- I mean, I sure had enough time. I had thought, with how tired I am, that maybe it’d help with my insomnia. You’d think so, right? But no. No. I’m still awake, but now I’m lying there, and I can’t do anything. Because I’m too tired! I’m so tired, Bruce. I thought- I thought I knew what tired was.”

“Tim, you’re not making sense. What’s going on? Why are you so tired?” he shifted to sit down and lifted his arms to give Tim a hug but stopped short, holding there, offering.

Tim fell into his arms and Bruce gathered his son as best he could.

“Turns out The Clench has permanent effects that the cure couldn’t reverse. They’re only just beginning to research it, but I’ve been tracking symptoms. Chronic fatigue and pain, nerve damage, migraines- other things they aren’t sure are connected. There isn’t a cure, and it’s gradually been getting worse. I’ve tried the suggestions though it's hardly any change: diet, exercise, rest, the basics. But it’s all just maintenance, and I can’t-“ he went limp as his eyes filled with tears again. “I can’t do the things I used to be able to. I’m barely making patrol- the rest of the day I’m in bed. I can’t do classes. I had intended- I was going to finish High School, or maybe get my GED. But I have to lay down after taking a shower. I can hardly think anymore. I have to drag myself out of bed to go to the bathroom. I used to be able to do everything, and now I can’t do anything! I can’t help you anymore! And you can’t help me.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Bruce pulled him closer to his chest and rested his cheek on his head, rocking them back and forth. “It’ll be ok. We’ll figure it out.”

“No, it won’t! It’ll never be ok again! Can’t you see? I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t think! I can’t think, Dad! What use am I now?” his voice broke and Bruce felt his heart break with it.

“Tim,” he gathered Tim’s hands in his own from where they were clutching his shirt, and planted a kiss on his knuckles, smoothing over them with his thumb. “Son, listen to me. You were not born into this world to be useful.” He stopped him before he could interrupt. “I know you like being useful. I like being useful, too. But I need you to listen to me. You are more precious to me than all the stars in the sky. Nothing will change that. When I say, “We’ll figure it out”, I’m not talking about a cure, or some way to make sure you are, quote unquote, “useful”. I mean that we’ll figure out a way for you to live a happy life. A successful life in whatever capacity that it may mean for you. When I say “it’ll be ok”, I don’t mean that I have a fix, I just mean that no matter what, the others and I will be here for you, however you need us. I mean that no matter what happens, you have a place here. You are my son. I love you.” Bruce cradled Tim close again, and their tears mingled where their cheeks pressed together.

“It’s ok. I’m here”

(+1) Fair Winds, Another Tale

Despite still being in the middle of setting things up, the picnic mood was already in full swing. Large blankets were being weighed down by pillows and baskets of assorted snacks. Tables were being laid out to hold the main meal, soon to be a large potluck. No matter how much Alfred insisted on being the one to cook it all, each attendee persisted in bringing something to share. He faintly wondered if they would run out of table space again this time ‘round.

With the majority of the tasks already accomplished, and the remaining tasks hijacked by the ever-enthusiastic young people, Alfred found himself with nothing pressing to do. He made his way over to where Tim sat, transferring water bottles and pop cans from cartons to coolers.

“As much as I appreciate the help, I do so wish they’d stop flinging cutlery across the lawn.”

Tim looked up to watch Steph and Duke and Jason for a moment, trying to suppress his own smirk at the sight of them gleefully tossing said cutlery to each other.

“I mean, it's just plastic, right?”

Alfred sighed as he sat in a camping chair set up next to the coolers. “Yes, but that’s not quite the point. The job is getting done, though, I suppose.”

They sat a moment in pleasant silence, watching as their family milled about, more relaxed than Alfred had seen in years. He hated to break the quiet, but with the entire family around lately and as busy as ever, he had hardly had a decent conversation with any of them. He worried about all of them, of course, and their shared inability to ask for help, but Timothy was an especially quiet lad, when it came to facing problems.

“How are things?”

“Well, all the drinks are already chilled, and we have plenty of ice.”

He shrugged a little at Alfred’s pointed look. “I think they’re ok.” He fiddled a bit with the boxes and tied a fresh garbage bag to the back of a cooler. “Not great, but ok. The weight, the fog… It’s lessened, somehow?”

“Your medication is helping?”

“Yeah, I think that’s a big part of it. But more than that, the way that I think about things now, it’s- I mean, obviously, it’s taken months, and ‘better’ isn’t a word that I’d use- but there’s been progress. And for once? It’s like I can let that progress just, be? I’m not sure how to explain it, really.” He leaned back to stare at the sky. “ I’m still working on things, and putting effort into it, but I guess I’m not expecting things to be fixed completely and immediately.”

Alfred hummed in response encouraging him to continue.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s still frustrating to no end. Trying to ‘let go’ of perfectionism and the control issues… Sometimes I feel more like I’m chopping off parts of myself with the issues rather than just ‘letting them go’. But I’ve been finding new ways to define myself, and it’s been more manageable lately. I can work with manageable. And when it’s not, I have people who make it bearable.” He looked off to where Bruce was welcoming their first guests. “That’s more than enough for me.”

“Master Timothy,” Alfred waited until Tim met his sincere gaze, “I am so proud of you.”

The small smile Tim shot at him reminded him so much of the shy grins that were common when young Timothy had first entered their lives. Alfred’s heart ached for the many children whose smiles he had seen stolen over the years. The moment was cut short as Jason stormed over demanding,

“Tim, Steph is insisting that the 2005 Pride and Prejudice is better than the 1995 version. You have to tell her she’s wrong.”

Steph came bounding over with Duke. “What's wrong with you? Do you hate Kiera Knightley or something?”

Jason took a dramatic step back with his hand on his heart. “You should know better than to ask that question! But the 1995 version is still the better version. It's more faithful to the books! The delivery is stunning! The banter is unsurpassable! And it has Colin. Firth.”

Duke breaks in, “I mean, he’s got a point. They took the time necessary to keep as many details as possible from the book. Elizabeth’s take down of Darcy is unparalleled. When it comes to banter that’s definitely the one to watch. Also, the 2005 Mr. Bennet is kinda creepy, not gonna lie.”

“See? Duke here is a man of taste.”

“But the aesthetic!” Stephanie cried, “The finger twitch! Darcy looking like a sad puppy in the rain! Elizabeth kissing Darcy’s hand!!! 2005 is a masterpiece! Tim, you tell them!”

“Don’t look at me, I think they’re both great. Besides, I like Jane Eyre better.” Tim says.

The other three stop and stare.

“You know, that makes sense.” Duke said with an assessing look. “Personally, my favorite is the Count of Monte Cristo.”

Jason threw up his hands in defeat. “You guys aren’t even talking about Jane Austen anymore!” They all turned as another car came up the drive. “Oh thank god, Babs is here! She’ll take my side.”

Their conversation faded into the distance as they paraded back across the lawn, dragging Tim into their argument as they went.

Bruce watched them fondly out of the corner of his eye as he approached in turn.

“The Kent’s are here, save Clark. Lois says he tried a new recipe and wanted to run it past Martha first. Diana’s running a bit late, but for the most part it seems that everyone else will be here in an hour or so. How are things coming along?”

Alfred knew he was asking about more than just picnic preparations. “All is well, Master Bruce. For once, all is well.”

#bbb2020 #batfam big bang 2020 #batfam #batfam fic #Tim Drake #Damian Wayne #dick grayson #bruce wayne #Stephanie Brown #cassandra cain #cassandra wayne #fanfic #hurt/comfort #angst and fluff #holy crap i cant believe this is finished #tw depression #tw anxiety #tw suicidal thoughts #also talk of chronic illness #part three might hit a little too close to home during current events sorry #shout out to my fellow chronic illness peeps who are grieving the loss of health #i def cried while writing it #tim drake gets a hug #also everyones in therapy btw #all is well alfred says until clark shows up with that accursed sweet tea and restarts their ongoing battle over tea #please imagine the intense eye contact across the lawn as clark sets down the sweet tea at the drinks table smugly #it wouldnt fit in the fic but it fits in my heart #also u better believe that Dev is there!!!#im just too shy to write him

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transgenderstreetlegend · 3 years

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@rushpartyofcanada tagged me so I will try even though I do not know if I will be able to come up with 13!

rules: list 13 songs you're currently vibing with, or favorite songs!

1. Holy Moment by WOW OK

This is one of me & my partner’s main Songs. Nearly every fucking line applies to our relationship so well. It’s such a happy, hopeful song and it makes me so emotional. It was the first song they played when we got in the car after they picked me up from the airport, and I commissioned a @snazzystarlight painting of the song for them, and it’s on the wall above their bed now :)))

2. there is a place for you here. by Left At London

This song makes me fucking CRY. It’s about a fucking CAT. NAT’S CAT TÍMIDO. BABY BOY. BEAUTIFUL. It’s about how taking care of her cat who’d been abused before helped her to feel more hopeful in her own life and about how they’re going to make it through together. It’s such a fucking beautiful song. GOD. And it reminds me of being at my partner’s house too bc I was there with them when I first heard it and when I found out it was about her cat. I listened to it at work today and just wished that instead of being at work I could be laying on my partner’s bed blasting this through their speaker, crying and staring at the ceiling. Damn

3. Michelle by Sir Chloe

This song, despite not actually specifying what exactly makes Michelle a monster from hell, is sung in a way that is very vibey and sexy and I enjoy singing along to it.

4. Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny ft. Tegan and Sara

“But when she loves me, I feel like I’m floating.” That’s me with my partner so much. The og version of this song without T&S uses he/him pronouns throughout, but this one uses she/her in the second chorus and they/them in the third, which is why I prefer this one since I am dating a she/they.

5. Ohio River by Caroline Says

This song is basically a meme in our friend group now because I made it @coolthxmcdoom’s nickname in the meetup planning server because their name is Caroline and they live in Ohio, but before I introduced it to the friend group it was just an extremely vibey song that came up on my local college’s radio station and I should probably smoke weed to it at some point. And now that it’s also relevant to the meetup memories, it has added significance to me.

6. idolize by Ace Smith

Ace Smith is my good friend! I heard a short clip of this song probably a year or so ago, or something like that, when it was unfinished, and thought “ooh this is cool I can’t wait for the full release.” It’s released now! It’s def Ace’s best song, both in my opinion and in Ace’s. Makes me really emotional, I highly recommend it. Please listen to my friend’s music y’all he puts so much work into it and it’s so well made I have so much love and respect for this person it’s insane

7. peace by Taylor Swift

This is another song where every line just punches me in the fuckin chest. Gets me in the fuckin insecurity. Perfectly puts into words feelings that I struggle to convey. I feel so seen.

8. New Year’s Day by Taylor Swift

I made a slight reference to it in a song I recently wrote.

9. anthems by Charli XCX

Another song that Jax played a lot in the car during my trip. They told me then that when they were first crushing on me, this song reminded them of me. I’d never known that before. Now every time I listen to it or it gets stuck in my head I think of this moment in the car when they were singing along to it and I happened to take the selfie at the exact moment they pointed at me at the line “wanna wake up with you.”

10. forever by Charli XCX

This is yet another song that I heavily associate with Jax, and have from the start of our relationship because they put it on the playlist they made me, and it’s always made me cry.

11. Divine by Jordana

This song is so catchy. I’m not fully sure how it’s supposed to be interpreted and rn I’m a bit too high to do too much analysis but regardless I vibe with it. And I like her vocals.

12. i hope she loves me back by boy pablo

This is another one that I found from my college radio station. It’s sort of corny but in a cute way, and the sound is really cool. I like it. I listened to some more of boy pablo’s music because of it, and he seems to have a very soft sorta vibe/aesthetic that I really like.

13. If We Were Vampires by Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

This guy has the same last name as some people in my family and is from my state! I haven’t looked up if there’s a relation, but I wouldn’t discount the possibility. This song is really pretty I can’t think of anything else to say about it I haven’t listened in a bit

BONUS IM DOING A #14. (FOREVER!!!!!!!!!) [WOW OK Remix] by glass beach

God i love WOW OK. I know they’ve only got two releases out but I love Holidaykiss and i love Left At London and i LOVE how their skills combine together. I can’t wait for more from these two.

—

So as it turns out, I’m very gay.

I don’t know who is and isn’t comfortable being tagged in tag games, so if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

#🌌

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robiness · 5 years

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hottest of all takes: qrow and fear (my final/main/fave theory, rwby7 spoilers)

(reposted bc all my reblogs became messy :( since this is my last and main qrow/clover theory, i wanted it to be straightforward yay)

Volume 7 Chapter 13: “The Enemy of Trust” (Description: Who will you become when your greatest fears are realized?)

My initial reaction was: oh damn, Qrow. (and ironwood obviously, but whatever) - Qrow.

But HEAR ME OUT:

Fear.

What if Qrow is still unconscious from the crash?

It sounds like a denial/joke, but I’ve put so much thought into my other speculations (Qrow’s tragic character arc, Raven saves everything + clover’s aesop’s fable c/o @synvamp - sorry im tagging u again!, rwby7 themes + time travel support)

and none of them can explain why:

there’s no official confirmation/explanation/reaction from the crew (not even at least a “he dead”, tho correct me if im wrong)

clover suddenly came out of nowhere with that characterization (qrow even notes the out-of-the-blue manipulation using the body of Robyn, who clover Respected)

clover/qrow made the weird decisions they did:

clover focused only on qrow, as if he couldn’t see tyrian a lot of the time

qrow made THAT decision re: tyrian

neither clover nor qrow saw tyrian coming to make stabby on that empty ass tundra

clover dramatically said “good luck” after qrow said he’ll make james take the fall, something that this version of clover shouldn’t be down with???? just seconds ago, he was all about following ironwood bc the general gave him a place blah blah blah?

+++ where was everything else in that last scene with the sunrise/bi flag?

We see Harbinger, Qrow, Clover.

That’s it. Only the stuff that Qrow would focus on and remember in such a scenario.

This is a really wide shot, and there’s only those elements + bi sunrise? Can’t make me believe that.

If the three-way was real, if it actually happened, where’s signs of the fight? those huge blood stains/splatters? Kingfisher? the wreckage? the pin that should contrast against the snow even a little???

edit: the pin might be near Harbinger when zoomed in actually? is it that dot thing? - in any case, still counts as significant to Qrow in the situation!

Dreams can be irrational once awake (and to us, the audience) and I’m telling y‘all right now, it’s a dream

Everything after the crash is a nightmare in every way. I can believe it’s what Qrow thinks might happen. Because he’s afraid of trust, especially after Ruby’s panicked call and the warrant. Plus, Clover was actually intending to arrest him before the crash/wait until they see the general, which could have contributed to this sudden characterization of the Ace-Op.

Qrow would definitely fear both Clover completely turning against him/them, plus him monumentally messing up, because those are the two worst things that could possibly happen in that exact moment.

That whole three-way fight was Qrow’s nightmare:

Clover turning out to be a follower turned victim and going against him (chances of them having the exact same history with their leaders? a bit low, they couldn’t be THAT similar, despite being foils)

Qrow’s Semblance causing the worst possible scenario, giving proof that he can never escape it

These sound very much like things Qrow would’ve been mulling over all season, despite (or because of) his increasing happiness and recovery. His confused thoughts would be: Did I get it all wrong? (Most likely also: fuck. But I digress.)

In that short amount of time, he probably still hasn’t completely trusted this current lucky streak (why should he? it’s only been months). Therefore: crash - unconscious - nightmare of worst case scenario.

(Same, Qrow.)

Anyway, this is what I’m holding on to until the end. Good night everyone. Peace.

^ here’s the obligatory shitposting section. WAKE UP QROW, OPEN UP YOUR EYES AND TRUST LOVE

#rwby theory #fair game #qrow branwen #clover ebi #clover ebi defense squad #qrover #tyrian callows #let qrow branwen be happy #rwby7 spoilers #clover deserved better #actual qrow hope wow #rwby shitpost #those fix-it fics were on the right track people #the few clover/tyrian lines actually reminded me of my mental demons

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indigopurple · 5 years

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Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig

Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.

During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(

"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.

When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!

Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.

This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.

"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.

Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.

"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.

I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.

Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.

Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries

Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.

Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.

Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot

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leviathiane · 5 years

Note

SHOW US YOUR WROR RAW UNPROCESSED WHOLE GRAIN ORGANIC NOTES

this is going to be a long-ass post i am so sorry to Everyone! i take a lot of notes.

So, as You specifically know (as well as all of my lovely Soggers) I take a LOT of notes. Obsessively. I write fucking everything bc i have very little memory and very much paranoia. This results in literal Piles of notes. Raw planning, on paper, on my phone– doodles of scenes im brainstorming, bulletpoints, entire SCRIPTS– it’s all there but scattered (I’ve got scenes planned in the margins of my goddamn anthropology notes and deciphering it was a NIGHTMARE)

I won’t even upload all the photos of my writing notebook, because itd be like 50 pages of illegible nonesense. but heres a couple of planning phase pages. (may be hard to read, I dropped this notebook both into some tidepools, into a creek on campus, and accidentally leaked my waterbottle onto it in my backpack :/)

if you can’t tell already, yes they all look exactly like this. Some are even more illegible, because I wrote them with the notebook half under my actual class notes. Because i wrote most of them in class. During lectures. And pretending very badly that i was not doing exactly that. (pay attention in class please i got away with this bc i was filling up elective units)

I’m also flat out MISSING a large portion of my notes bc some of it? isnt even in the damn notebook. its on a sheet of binder paper, or on the empty back of an assignment. I’ve now lost most of those notes, but the ones i do still have are just as (even more, actually) indecipherable chicken scratch:

Wow, how clean and tidy and easy to follow! i am in hell.

and this doesnt mention the PAGES and PAGES of outlines that are on my laptop, and the pages of outlined scenes that are on the notes app of my phone. if i put them all, you would have entire chapter spoilers up to the very end of the story so i cant post a lot of them– and also theres just a goddamn lot of them. currently i have 16 pages of outlining. There are no spacing breaks. It is a solid 16 page block of text. Looking at it gives me a migraine.

some assorted notes which i have dredged up from the deleted parts of the main draft google doc go all the way back to when i started Wror in June and they are Barely more readable than my handwriting on sheer account of: articulation is not my strength. These include:

“Ch 8 plan: sabo gets trained specially, awakens his armament haki, beats ace in a bunch of spars and proves himself to be anything but vulnerable. The boys are like “we fucking recognize that technique ryu taught you before us!!” and goad ryu into finally starting them both on basic haki training, just to awaken it, since sabo already has. Also this is the chapter that ace finally confronts ryu for his devil fruit after ryu confirms that some devil fruit users can’t be hurt without haki and ace immediately catches onto that and tries to slam his pipe through ryus head. It doesn’t work, ryu catches the weapon with a haki covered hand, to avoid turning to flame with hit and ace just gets frustrated and accuses ryu of hiding his devil fruit, because he remembers what he saw in grey terminal and that now that he has seen haki he can distinguish it from what he saw and he’s sure no one could do what ryu did. He calls ryu a hypocrite for coddling them even after telling them to stop coddling sabo and ryu has to sit them down and explain that yes he does have powers and he has been hdiing it and explains his reasoning. However instead of understanding th eboys just get fired up and say they don’t wnt to be scared of fire, especially not when it means ryu isn’t taking them seriously in a spar. Ryu finally agrees to start them on desensitization training for fire trauma. Fire desensitization training happens on the beach, so that they have water nearby in case things get out of hand. At some point ace gives ryu a considering look and is just like “if you have a devil fruit that means you can’t swim either right?” and ryu is basically just like “lmao yeah” and then ace immediately attempts to drown him. Lots of murder attempts in ace’s department toget his older brother to be less of an idiot with little success lol(extra: ace tried to attack ryu earlier both to confirm that ryu has a devil fruit that would force him to use haki to hide it, and because he now knows that he CAN’T hurt ryu without haki and as thus can’t beat him and make him admit he’s awake without being good at haki.)” [chapter 8]

“Small sabo lost his hat and goggles in the incident and while he doesn’t remember having them future sabo notices he looks uncomfortable and keeps touching his hair and head. Ace yells at him for it thinking he bandaging are bothering him and that he can’t touch them but little sabo just comments that something about it feels wrong. Luffy blurts our that he had a hat, like luffy does, But he doesn’t now ace begrudgingly mentions that they can’t get a new one in town. Future sabo doesn’t even hesitate and just plops his own hat onto his younger selves head. It clearly too big for him, and almost falls over his eyes but he grins up at future sabo and is like “wow!! Thank you! I’ll take care of it till I have one of my own” and creates a paradox like Luffys own hat. The footsteps younger sabo has yet to fill. This HAS to happen AFTER the talk where they explain that future and past sabo are both the same person, to give little sabo that pressure.” [chapter 9]

“(Right after this older sabo takes them down to the ocean so that they can play a little and desensitize themselves and immediately fucks himself over when he goes weak in the water bc he somehow fucking forgot his own devil fruit again and now even younger sabo is on his case about not letting him near the fucking ocean that little goddamn HYPOCRITE—) )” [for chapter 9]

“Ch 9 plan: they finally leave dawn island. Starts with the boys getting a haircut after training and luffy mentions how long it’s been since they’ve last needed a haircut, giving sabo and ace time to point out that it’s been 2 months now since ryu joined them, and that sabo was completely healed by now. The boys are now aware of the basics of haki, and while luffy hasnt awakened either yet ace and sabo both have a little bit of weak armament haki. (sabo won’t awaken observational haki until he gets his memories back) ryu tries to sneak off into the city to steal a boat but his brothers refuse to leave him behind and keep sneaking out after him, not wanting him to go alone and saying that since he’s been training them they’re clearly stronger and he needs to let them do this. Ryu eventually just lets it go because why the fuck not it’s a dream and they make him feel better. They get the boat out on open ocean and finally fucking sail out, cheering loudly, ryu struggling to make them all calm down but also not really trying. He’s happy as shit, and they’re all so excited and happy and sabo dips a hand into the waves and then smiles so fucking wide and tackles ryu so violently they both nearly tip into the water and it’s just very very good. “ [also for ch 9]

** I flat out dont Have any outlining from before chapter 6, because i only started actually outling chapters after that. i tend to just sit down and Write up until i hit a plot point or writers block and then am forced to actually think it through and plan rather than letting it come naturally. thats also why the quality and editing is better in later chapters despite everything being written within the same time frame.

besides entire chapter outlines, there are the scene specific phone notes like:

“(ADDED) Right after they leave dawn, when sabo is sure they’ve gotten enough of a head start, he calls Garp. He doesn’t say who he is, but that all of the boys are safe and happy with him and has them all talk into the phone to assure him that they’re fine. Garp is honestly just pissed off he doesn’t know who’s calling and when he asks sabo just laughs and says a disobedient brat before hanging up. “

“(ADDED) TO EXPAND ON CH 3: sabo gets offered the chance to go with dragon, and he hesitates on the offer to go through with his previous life with the family he’s made in the revolutionary again. He almost agrees, because the bought of losing them in this lifetime is near excruciating but reminds himself swiftly that it’s no place for his brothers and not what they’d really want, and he wants selfishly to be with them as long as he Can until he “inevitably” wakes up. The boys are visibly relieved by this, especially ace. (Sabo gets asked who he is by dragon, who wants to know more about the stranger with his son, but dragon has always been quicker to make connections no one guessed and he just smiled knowingly at sabo and tells him he’s sure the other will have no trouble finding them if he’s in need. Sabo in turn warns him to keep Kuma close, and to look for a slave girl named koala.)”

I have…. many of these. I have Many of Everything.

finally, i have scene doodles. if i hit a bad writers block it usually helps me to sketch scenes or the character designs to regain my grip on what the hell is happening in the plot– Breach of Intention has character design sketches, pakcbond has MANY scene sketches, even some of my nsfw has some sketches. my wror skecthes arent Good of course, I am an art teacher for children and that means i am more often explaining the color wheel and brush techniques over drawing perfect human replicas– and i just dont really make a lot of fanart? ive never drawn sabo before but i sure have a bunch now. i wont include close ups because they genuinely suck but heres an example pic

So… yeah thats about everything. this is a VERY long post and yet i only included like maybe ¼ or 1/5 of all the notes i have dbskhjgfkjadns lmk if anyone wants more (or notes for my Other stories, which contain NO WHERE the same absurd amount of shit that wror does.)

#depths' ask #response #idk what to even tag this honestly?? this post is such a mess abhdsjfgdkjn #thanks mido love u dear 💕🎉 im gonna want some damn notes on second chances heads up #wror #wror stockpile #touchmycoat #i started this response at goddamn 3:52am and its now 4:40am #it took me. almost an HOUR #oh my god

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milky-mochi · 5 years

Text

tag game ! ✨

tagged by @bangteen !!! thank u for the tag <33 i feel so loved

rules: answer 21 questions then tag 21 people (or like 3)

name: shh not telling

nickname: don’t have any yet, but u can call me m/mochi/microwave!! (microwave was suggested by my friend ashahsk)

gender: female !!

star sign: scorpio ♏️

current time: 1.13pm

fave artist: PLEASE you can’t make me choose,,, i am a multi fandom and I stan a bunch of people,,, but at the moment it’s probably txt

song stuck in my head: omg it’s definitely savage - ace. i might have to stan

last movie i saw: unfortunately, it was the abomination that is cats bc I went with my friend to shitpost (except that he fell asleep like 3 times and I was left dying on my own)

last thing i googled: the map of the subway skshadkj

other blogs: I had one that I created when I was like 10 but I have since deleted it,,, and this is the only one I have now!

do I get asks: I've gotten 2 thus far and they were both about my yeonbin fic! ^-^ I would love to get more

reason for url: um bruh honestly? don’t even know? didnt’t want to theme it around one fandom bc I wanna write for so many. I kinda looked up a bunch of soft usernames and I saw mochi under one,, and I tried banana milk mochi from kane mochi a while back and it was So Good so! milky-mochi

following: 104 pop

average sleep: really really depends. during the week it’ll be like 5 but on the weekends it’ll be 12 until my mom wakes me up so-

lucky number: 14! I always considered it lucky

currently wearing: a nightgown that isn't really a nightgown? this longish shirt that I got from camp that reaches my knees so I wear it as a dress

dream job: really wanna go into politics in my country! either that or service work for my community,, I also Mun, so I'd love to work in the un as well

dream trip: oh god too manyyyyyy,, like not a specific place? but I'd love to go on a food tour!!!!

fave foods: ok at the moment it’s a Malay dish called sambal goreng,, which is like fried tofu and tempeh and long green beans in sambal,, it’s Very Good

instruments: im the one who gets played smh

fave song: either me after you by paul Kim, the truth untold by bts, our summer by txt, or I like me better by lauv!! (can't make a decision)

don’t have many mutuals I talk to akjajdd (please talk to me I wanna be friends) but I tag @gentlymicrowavedcat @star-daegyu and anyone else who wants to do it! u don't have to do it if u don't want to ahaha

#tag game #milky mochi #tagged

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rontra · 5 years

Text

ANONYMOUS ASKED:

i really like mwot and was wondering, do you wanna talk/loredump/etc about mwot during this blessed month of pride? (if not that's totally cool!!! i really like the au and am curious about it!)

REPLY:

YES!!!!

umineko spoilers below and LONG POST KSDJDKSKD i really went infodumping......you got me right in an infodumping mood....

also im being very casual in this post so if something is like weird or vague its probably because i got tired of thinking about it and skipped ahead. SKJDSJD

mwot is an umi au and its very gay and very trans because i, a gay trans, decided it was TIME to INDULGE

LIKE A MOUNTAIN WIND FALLING ON OAK TREES also known as MWOT, MW/OT, Mountain Wind + Oak Trees, MW+OT, or literally any combination of its parts, is an eva/natsuhi au, set in a vague modern big city setting

https://rontra.tumblr.com/tagged/mountain-wind-oak-trees

it’s a comedy, mostly? it has elements of backstory transphobia and stuff like that but that’s not really the story i want to tell with it, so i don’t go too deeply into it in the main fic. it’s mostly comedy and Self Care: The Story (once these nerds get around to acknowledging that self care is good, anyway!!!!)

Eva is 20, nb lesbian (though she doesnt know half of it to begin with). generally a bitchard at the beginning but also deeply craving that Validation. Invested in making the fic harder to write due to pronoun shenanigans (shoutout to the lengthy section of intimate emotional scenes that uses no pronouns at all for eva but is narrated by them in 3rd person)

Natsuhi is like 21 i guess because im a sucker for her having like an annoying 1-3 years on eva bc eva would get mad about it. Also she’s trans, gray-ace, hopeless romantic, generally full of “quickly raising your eyebrows and looking away while sipping your drink and thinking Yikes” energy. weaponizes indifference but is no stranger to harder means. she’s a smart cookie

Sayo is also 20, gender clown car living her best life. Presents differently depending on mood and whim

krauss is like 22 or whatever. for housekeeping’s sake, rosa and rudolf are too young to matter (8 and 10, or something like that). dont even worry about it

honestly the weirdest part of the au is eva and sayo being the same age

also this au is the origin point of me & my friends using akikaze as nat’s maiden name. the more you know!

USHIROMIYA GOLD dishes up that yellow metal like you wouldn’t believe. led by kinzo whos so fuckin good at sniffing out that sweet sweet gold people are half convinced the man has psychic powers. Any piece of land he’s got his eyes on, he WILL get his hands on, no matter who owns it right now.

the land kinzo wants At The Moment is owned by the AKIKAZE FAMILY who have been notably on the decline recently. they’re in the economic shithole so this land is basically all they’ve got right now, so when kinzo wants it and it suddenly Has Value, they’re like “oh, shit,

anyway the deal basically shakes out that like, he gets the land and all the gold that may or may not be in it. he offers his eldest son in exchange for this land, to marry their daughter: in the bonds of marriage graciously ensuring a part of the winnings will spill over on them, while keeping them under his control without money coming into the picture.

Everything’s working out great and coming up kinzo. the deal is closed and everyone’s happy (i guess). until ONE DAY, just a few narrow weeks before the akikaze girl is set to move in with the ushiromiyas,

KINZOS

OLDEST

SON

DISAPPEARS

!!!!!

Krauss dislikes being told what to do, and his father’s ideals never lined up with his own. He thinks this entire thing is sort of fucked up and can’t live under his dad’s thumb anymore. That's why, immediately following Kinzo’s agreement with the Akikaze family, Krauss disappears. He’s just kinda left for greener pastures, to unfold his own life and pursue his own interests independent of the Ushiromiya name. He leaves behind a letter explaining it & basically he forfeits both name and inheritance, and Kinzo’s incredible deal is suddenly in jeopardy.....

obviously this is kinzo though, and all of his solutions are like, 20 times more complicated than they have to be? he’s DETERMINED to have this land so he’s like “i need an eldest son. shit rudolf is only like 9. fuck. well okay i have an eldest daughter with a deeply complicated need for validation and success entirely driven by her overall neglect at my hands“ and the rest. as they say. is history (???)

Ushiromiya Eva always saw Krauss as unworthy of the inheritance, and to her, his disappearance confirms this. She grew up always being made to feel inferior to her older brother, usually being ignored in favor of him, and it's bred a complex need for validation in her. Her values and strengths are more like Kinzo’s than her brother’s, and Kinzo recognizes this in the wake of Krauss’ disappearance.

basically he concocts this really wild scheme where eva has to pretend to be his oldest son and marry this girl or whatever so he can seal this stupid gold deal and she’s like “well lol if i get to be family heir” and hes like “yes that’s what im saying” and shes like “awesome let’s do it”

all of the servants are in on it too of course. specifically kinzo enlists SAYO who works there as normal staff and isn’t otherwise tangled into this family’s mess in any way whatsoever. she’s just here to serve tea and looks. anyway he’s like “you work on this with eva--i mean evan, my son, you must have misheard--and eva you have to listen to whatever yasuda says” and eva is like “that last part will not be frustrating for me at all”.

Yasuda as reigning Household Gender Presentation Expert is like “i think i just got orders from the master to bully eva?” and eva is like “i wish i could fire you but my dad just banned me from doing that” and then gradually...over the course of the project......they become....friends.........

(the au is tagged eva & sayo for a reason. they become FRIENDS!!)

mostly its just various combinations of shkanon dunking on eva and its all VERY good.

during all these shenanigans we make some startling realizations like “gender euphoria is a hell of a drug” and stuff, which is extremely harrowing for everyone (note: not for everyone. just for eva, who makes 10,000 realizations every day, and should not have been counted.)

(ok sidenote did anyone else put on their first binder & go like “hmmm. i live here now” because. mood. im projecting entirely into this fic)

Gender Clown Car yasuda (currently as lion) is like “you know there’s like more than 2 genders” and eva’s like “you fucking wehat”.

i also make a REALLY INVOLVED JOKE ABOUT CASTIGLIONI GOLD, THE RIVAL COMPANY, and how BEATRICE’S KID LOOKS A LOT LIKE LION, and EVERYONE thinks this is all VERY funny

(i would like to see it. also kinzo owes beatrice castiglioni $20 and she’s never let him forget it.)

now wrapped up in this stupid impostor scheme AND full of big wild nonbinary energy AND!! WITH AN INFURIATING NEW FRIEND!! IN THE STAFF!!! this one funky ushiromiya is all ready to get in on an arranged marriage or whatever. provided NO ONE EVER FINDS OUT that they’re faking it and replacing the Actual Heir, which would no doubt ruin the scheme AND bring kinzo’s wrath on everybody involved, of course.

AKIKAZE NATSUHI IS READY TO PUNCH HER FIANCE IN THE THROAT IF HE EVEN LOOKS AT HER but she understands what’s happening here. she knows she didn’t have a say in this from the very beginning. that the deal was sealed for her as soon as the name “ushiromiya” was said. she knows her family married her off quick in a bid to get rid of her. if she’s humiliated by this ordeal, she is far too proud to show it. she packs her bags and walks into the mansion with her head held high........and immediately has this exchange with her fiance

and this one

so that’s kind of the energy we’re going for with these two.

(natsuhi’s line in the second cap was going to be removed for being Way Too Intense, but everyone i talked to said it was too hot to cut, so i decided to indulge us all. blame the lesbians)

they IMMEDIATELY don’t get along but they kinda agree to like, mind their business, since neither of them are interested in playing house here. if they can get the wedding to go off without a hitch they can basically go back to never talking to each other again.

natsuhi’s entire angle here is essentially: her family was not that good, and this family likely won’t be better, BUT here she has a chance to build something new for herself. she’ll be out of her parents’ house. She needs this deal to stay for her own sake, but she has to get out ahead of her husband and set up a dynamic that favors her. when she meets evan she essentially gauges the kind of person she’s dealing with and picks her approach accordingly: this is not a soft man, and she has to be hard in turn to avoid being steamrolled.

and its VERY hot

anyway some stuff happens and it eventually they both sorta get each other’s secrets. eva is not the firstborn son and natsuhi is not the card kinzo thought he was pulling from her family’s hand and theyre both toast if word hits the public. directly after the wedding they establish a tense alliance of keeping each others’ secrets....

and then they.....fall...in l

there’s some fun tensions and realizations. eva is like “so im quickly catching on that no praise i ever received from dad was on my own merit and he’s kind of a dirtbag all around and his validation is kind of not worth it” and nat is like “word our parents are chains” & they run kinzo over with the down w cis bus. it’s fine. they get postcards from krauss sometimes. he has a motorbike now.

DID I MENTION THE PRACTICE KISSING

BC THEY HAVE TO PRACTICE! FOR THE!! PUBLIC WEDDING!!!!

and thats mwot i guess. it’s my au where natsuhi’s accent color is red and some other stuff happens too. happy pride month

#mwot #second time's the charm

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gaygwenpool · 6 years

Note

give me literally All Headcanon for that post for Mysterio p l e a s e (also, for the one of my choosing, whether or not you hc he commentates movies while watching them or insists on ABSOLUTE SILENCE)

:D!!! my sweet boy, BLESS you nonnie!

◉ whether or not you hc he commentates movies while watching them or insists on ABSOLUTE SILENCE IS A FANTASTIC QUESTION IVE BEEN LITERALLY LAUGHIN ABOUT IT ALL DAY THANK YOU

Both actually! if you try to comment on the plot or react to an actor, immediately you get rudely shushed with the most scorching glare because how DARE you, focus on the ~ART~ you heathen!!! but also the Moment a slightly more advanced special effect takes place, he is all hoppin on his seat excitedly explaining how it’s done and how genius that is, how would he improve on it and how another movie dealt with it, the dialogue for the big plot reveal goin on the screen be damned :’D Also as the movie advances, he starts gettin more and more into long passionate rants either complaining about the lack/surfeit of respect the creators got, how arrogant this one actor is and how he doesnt respect his cues and so on….. lots of the stuff he says is actually pretty interesting but yeah, if you counted on just enjoying the movie, tough luck

He really likes watchin movies with people but prefers to see the movie first on his own at least once, to really focus on it. Often, he will watch a movie in the livin room while others do their own thing and he will comment on the good scenes, however if you agreed to actually watch somethin with him and got distracted during screening or worse, was on your phone?? you are dead to him. (and you can expect some …unpleasant surprises in the upcoming days)

im gonna put the rest under the readmore cuz this is gettin long ^^;;

[ask meme]

☾ - sleep headcanon

Beck is the UGLIEST sleeper, he is the worst. He snores loudly, drools, moves, KICKS, mumbles and has the most vivid wildest dreams. (it happens rarely but sometimes he’ll dream about somethin, wake up and for a while be convinced it actually happened, you know like when you dream about arguing with your friend and being mad at them the next day etc) On the other hand, sometimes, all his features relax, he loses the scowl and looks surprisingly peaceful and happy… oh and he hogs the blanket.

His sleep schedule is a fuckin mess, he is able to go like the whole week on few hours of sleep total when he is workin on a project but other days he gets grumpy if he doesnt get his 10h of beauty sleep every night..

★ - sad headcanon

uhhh i dont actually have much sad stuff for this boy yet, he brings me so much joy that i dont have the heart for that :’’’D (also i like him and chameleon team ups and Dmitri brings enough angst to the table for the both of them)

He really actually died that one time and went to hell (though in Patchwork, im not gonna keep everythin about that Daredevil plot, i really like Mysti being dangerous and actually a worthy opponent but most of it was too fucked up for my tastes…) and well… it wasnt great :’D it mostly targeted his insecurities about his own talent he buried so deep he almost stopped believing them, the lack of respect and recognition and him willingly throwing away any chance he had at those by becoming Mysterio and of course everything that happened with his ex Brick Johnson…

☆ - happy headcanon

blease consider: autistic Quentin !!!!!!

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

he doesnt have a hair trigger temper like Ock or Electro but Damn does this boy holds grudges over literally everything :’D lots of overcomplicated, carefully crafted revenge plots just for eating the last yogurt in the fridge… He gets frustrated easily, getting snappy and rude, especially if people are not listening to him, but it’s often about the pettiest things, the bigger stuff doesnt affect him as much.

He doesnt enjoy violence for the sake of violence but he is not above it either, everythin is allowed for his big performance…… he can be quite a good n friendly boss if you listen to his orders and work well but can just as much set you up to die in an explosion, all while smiling and patting you on the back…

✿ - Sex headcanon

my Mysterio is gay as hell but also somewhere on the ace spectrum… not sex-repulsed but definitely not a high drive either (he feels oddly smug about that, like look at those fools trying to get into each others’ pants, how pathetic, *I* in the meantime have time for things that Truly matter, like recreating every Xmen battle ever with only straws and gum.)

■ - Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

listen, i basically grew up on those “the entire villain team lives in a single place - shenanigans ensue” fics so im not givin up on the Sinister Six HQ, okay. (Chameleon usually finds them a suitable house with enough rooms, as luxurious as their current fonds allow, and he prides himself in putting in lil personal touches that he knows the sin six members would enjoy, for Quentin it’s often very obscure movies, rare memorabilia from his favorite ones, stuff for his illusions, a stolen Oscar…)

When these are unavailable (aka superheroes got them busted) or when he aint in the middle of a crime job, he usually stays at one of the Cham’s safehouses (with or without him) and in a few of them, he already has his own dedicated room with some of his fav old tricks on display. Speakin of which, he has a BIG warehouse with most of his setups and stages or at least models. He doesnt really plan on reusing them but he likes having them all together

♡ - romantic headcanon

((jakjgkfajga im a loser and ended up shippin him with Chameleon and everythin i’ve thought off so far is EMBARRASSING AND CHEESY AS FUCK :’’’’D so im gonna leave those for another time))

Beck being an Extra Bitch he is, lives for the Big Romantic Gestures like in the movies and he often gets so caught up in the prep he.. kinda disregards the person he was makin it for, the making of the effect means more for him than the actual sentiment behind it…

(ok maybe One mysteleon hc, while it pains him, Quentin knows Chammy Would Not Enjoy being a target of such grand display… he gotta be more subtle, creating a scene where he could play in disguise and dupe some superheroes mayhaps…)

♥ - family headcanon

like 99% of the villains and their grandma, his family wasnt great, mum left when he was very young with another guy, his dad considered his passion for movies a great waste of time and let lil Quentin know how disappointed he was at every occasion both vocally and physically.. After the first few broken models and ripped tapes with stop animations that took weeks to complete, Quentin stopped tryin to impress and convince his father about the greatness of special effects.. He joined a boxing club and learnt some other martial arts but as soon as he could, he left to join a proper film school which led to his father dropping both financing and all contact with him.

☮ - friendship headcanon

Im not even gonna start about Chameleon’s and Mysterio’s friendship because that shit is canon and i cry about it on a daily basis.

Despite his penchant for Dramatics, the constant Need for Validation and Backstabbing and other Throwing Shit in the Fan just cuz it was narratively better, Quentin actually has quite a few friends? He gets along quite well with everyone from the Sin Six and many other villains and even has some ‘normie’ pals from the film industry or just neighborhood…

One of his most surprising is actually Doc Ock with whom he gets along even outside of business partners/partners in crime basis. Though maybe not so surprising, Mysterio is quite vocal with his praises when he feels like they are deserved and Doc as well actually admires and recognizes Beck’s talent while it is still enough specific for him not to feel threatened in his superiority (once he tried to improve them and show them to Quentin with his usual arrogance and flair and that was the biggest fight they ever had and they werent on speaking terms for a loooong while after that… Oct cant stand not having the last word so he still modified some of Mysterio’s tricks even after that but he actually cares about their friendship enough to not tell Mysti about it.. Not like he would ever admit that to Quentin’s fishbowl face)

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

like 99% of everythin Mysti does is Somehow related to special effects/film or the Drama in general but my boy is a nerd in general, theater, books, comics, manga, roleplaying games, you name it. He especially likes flashy stuff obviously.

He really enjoys learning new techniques and figuring out how to make something happen. When he was younger, he was viciously against CGI but later he started to sorta respect it as its own category that needs talent and effort… he still prefers to use the traditional techniques of course :’D (…as traditional as HYPNOTIZING PEOPLE WITH NEURAL GAZ IS)

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

He has a very Complicated relationship with the film industry……. on the one hand, he loves the behind the scenes, the rush, the Action…. but on the other hand, he hates it with a fiery passion, everythin from how you get treated like dirt and the pretentious prizes being awarded just for the Big names and hollywood and everythin turning around the money an-…., he has a very long list and it is alphabetized. (While he has a point for many of those complaints, the fact HE himself never got any pretentious award remains probably the main issue…)

he absolutely despises people making fun of D-grade shitty movies in the “this shitty horror is so cheesy and dumb it’s funny and i love it” way, either because the people workin on it were good and trying their best but the money or the producers etc ruined it (his experience) and then it’s an unfair critique or because the creators just didnt try hard enough and that’s even worse in his books and this movie should not get Any Attention much less a positive one..

he likes complaining and being snarky :’D he enjoys the challenge Spidey sets for them and loves playing tag with him (even when he loses..) He loves the prep before his big shows both alone or with help, the adrenalin when actually pulling it off and when he discusses it with Cham in details. He lives for the applause and recognition and ~Fame~

▼ - childhood headcanon

not as much as hc as adopting the Webspinners’ aproach: he spent most of his childhood daydreaming, hiding himself behind the stories and special effects….. not many friends aside from Betsy but he didnt really need them, he wanted audience not pals.. In the film school he started to be more social and communicative, he met Brick there and they started goin out…

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

hhhhh im conflicted, there are like 3 comics where Q is retired because he has enough of superheroes beating him up and he Really doesnt want to go back to it.. I cant see him actually givin up on it totally tho… idk idk

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Like with sleep, it oscillates wildly. He can forget to eat when he is hypefocusin on a particular project (one single chip suffices as nourishment) or he just subsides on ramen for a month but on the other hand he is quite a capable cook. Nothing Extraordinary but he can make enough diverse simple meals. When livin with Chammy, they both enjoy eating out so they do that as much as the budget allows (so not that much, illusions arent cheap…)

☼ - appearance headcanon

im still thinkin about that one post that described Quentin as a “toenail of a man” and i couldnt agree more :’D very short, pig nose, hairstyle à la Spock, stocky built and weirdly beefy, like this guy’s thigh is bigger than some heads… (for a nerd he is surprisingly strong what the fuck)

All Mysterios are Good Mysterios but my preferred ones have a bigass ROUND fishbowl, the longest cape and somethin as a belt, preferably sash..

ൠ - random headcanon

he actually isnt….. that great of an actor nor director nor creator………………….. (im sorry baby i love you but it’s tru….) he unconsciously copies a lot of stuff he has seen elsewhere, he follows overused tropes, his work is packed with cliches and cheesy over the top pathos… his special effects mastery n creativity with workin out his illusions is absolutely INCREDIBLE dont get me wrong, it’s just… the plot/ideas…….. at first he lived in denial about this still believing 100% his work is Wonderful and Perfect and he is just a misunderstood author… later he decided to embrace it and he is livin the life now :D

#mysterio #sinister six #quentin beck #chameleon #marvel #spidey #anon #ask meme #patchwork #thank you again!!!!!!! have an infodump!! :D #k

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spiffysixxsense · 6 years

Note

hi yes helllo, i am here to fulfill my annoying bestfriend obligation and make you answer all of the nosy asks

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say…

I love you too! Also why are you screaming?

2: Did you get to sleep in today?

technically, yes. I have class on Tuesdays at 11, which is later than either of my jobs start. But Wednesday’s are usually my one day off so tomorrow Im SLEEEEPINGGGG

3: You never know what you got until you lose it?

Not a question, but yes I agree.

4: Do you have siblings?

Nope, just me myself and I.

5: How many kids do you want?

I go back and forth between saying having kids sounds awful, and saying I want to create a stable family life for myself and children. On a children kinda day, I would say at most 3, most likely 2.

6: Who was the last person you held hands with?

Alex (here we go with the every answer is about @reddragon8000)

7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?

Well, my boyfriend is 9 inches taller than me, however if he looks down and I look up I don’t HAVE to go on my toes. So to answer the question, I think no.

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care?

I hope he would?

9: Last person to talk on the phone?

My Grandpa :)

10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?

No, it was at my door as he left my apartment.

11: When’s your birthday?

May 7th

12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

Yes, it was 2 years and 5 days ago♥

13: What kind of phone do you have?

Samsung Galaxy 8

14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

I am wearing jean high waisted shorts

15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?

Yes and no to be honest. I feel like 5 years ago I imagined being much farther in life than I currently am. Meaning I’m not as different as I hoped I would be.

16: What were you doing at 4 am?

Actually, sleeping for once.

17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?

When I give a speech, I just essentially write a paper and then memorize it. So I would choose paper just to eliminate some steps.

18: Are you lying to yourself about something?

Answered

19: Last night you felt…?

Stressed about the presentation I had to give today.

20: What’s something you cannot wait for?

To graduate? I guess? Even that I’m scared for too though.

21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different?

I honestly don’t think so. I have just not told them where I’m going, and not even because it was “bad”, but because they didn’t ask.

22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

about 5.

23: Are you a morning or night person?

Buddy I am barely even a person. (I am SUCH a night person though.)

24: What did you get your last bruise from?

Diving in the grass playing volleyball.

25: Do you reply to all of your texts?

Yes. (except the bot texts I get about congress lol)

26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?

I answer it slightly worried because he never calls me out of the blue, but happy to answer it.

27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

No, a doorway

28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

My ex, probably.

29: How many months until your birthday?

10 lol

30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

Apples

31: Did you like this past summer?

It was fine, so sure.

32: What were you doing before you got on the computer?

laying in bed on my phone.

33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do?

Tell her to run. Or just leave because thats still awkward af.

34: What is the last thing you said out loud?

“Not recently, Ill take care of him“

35: Your mood summed into one word?

Broken? Like mentally over it?

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey?

Listening/split screen watching to ASMR

37: What are your initials?

GLT

38: Are you a happy person?

Externally , yes. Internally, no.

39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?

Yes, I have been dating the person I like for 2 years. lol

40: Where do you want to live when your older?

I have never really thought about it because I never planned to live that long. Staying in Michigan is honestly fine with me.

41: Have you had your birthday this year?

Yes, 2 months ago.

42: What did you do yesterday?

Went to my internship in Downtown Detroit. Got Qdoba with my mom.

43: What will you be doing tomorrow?

SLEEEEPING

44: How late did you stay up last night?

About 3 am

45: Is there anyone you would do anything for?

Yes.

46: Is it hard to make you laugh?

Depends on the moment. Sometimes nothing makes me laugh and other times someone can say pudding and ill crack up.

47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends?

No. You can claim youre friends, but it is never the same afterwards.

48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?

Answered

49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012?

Well I got with my ex of 4 years in august of 2012, so at least one.

50: Do you wish your ex was dead?

I guess not.

51: Have you ever dyed your hair?

Only once, and it was only the bottom half of my hair.

52: Would ever take back someone that cheated?

No, the stress, worry, and insecurity would never go away.

53: Was New Year’s Even enjoyable?

No, I was sick as hell.

54: Bet you’re missing someone right now?

I mean I kinda always miss Alex when I don’t see him all day. Lame, I know.

55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?

Recommend how to take care of it, probably.

56: Sleep on your back or stomach?

Stomach.

57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be ?

maybe the Upper Peninsula of Michigan? always seems cute and quaint up there.

58: What would you change about your life right now?

My family relationships, my anxiety.

59: Has anything upset you in the past week?

Well my boyfriend and I got a flat tire on vacation a week ago? lol

60: Are you on the phone?

No, I never am actually talking on the phone.

61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back?

Forward.

62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?

40k, could help pay for a car but this way I still have options.

63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

Yes, when youre sober it is pretty hilarious.

64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

Once.

65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework?

I can’t think of a specific time, but Im SURE i have.

66: Are you the type of person who likes to be out or at home?

AT HOME. my favorite days are the ones where i never have to leave.

67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?

yes.

68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

I think so.

69: Could you use some sleep right now?

At this very moment i took a 2 hour nap a while ago, so im okay.

70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?

Given I am 22 with no kids, I am gonna say no.

71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?

Of course? doesnt it bother everybody?

72: What’s your favorite color?

like dark teal, blue/green.

73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked?

Yes. Sometimes without AC so as far away as possible while in the same bed lol.

74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?

Yes, anytime I am on the phone for some reason I am always looking for my phone.

75: Do you get annoyed easily?

Y E S S S S S

76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

Sure, even though I am taken, it would still be a little flattering.

77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?

Yes, although I tend not to tell anybody everything.

78: Does anyone call you babe?

Alex does

79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

1. 2 including my dad.

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand?

Relationship, but if you wanna one night stand then go ahead.

81: What color hoodie did you wear last?

Black

82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

Yes, both in the not in my life anymore and not on this Earth anymore.

5 notes · View notes

welovekpopscenarios · 7 years

Text

More Valuable than Riches (Fortune Hunter! I.M x Reader)

Admin: Mimi

Description:

Fandom: Monsta X

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: I.M/Changkyun x Reader

Warnings: Small mention of violence

Word Count: 2172

A/N: I’m not really happy with this, it didn’t turn out as adventure-y as I wanted but I wanted to get it out before I think too much about it and leave it sitting there forever, never to see the light of day again. It seems kinda rushed at the end but I hope you still like it. Happy reading, as usual! (was this inspired by uncharted? You bet your booty it was)

Since Changkyun was a young lad, with chubby fingers that pried open the libraries history books and small dark eyes that absorbed each word on the ancient, worn pages of pirates, explorers and others alike, he wanted to be an explorer. A great discoverer, who would uncover lost lands and find old tombs, digging deep into the history of the earth to become one of the greatest men in the world – but of course, life doesn’t always work the way we want it to.

Instead of fame and glory, all Changkyun became was an infamous fortune hunter (a fancier term for thief, as Jooheon had put it), stuck in a lousy Indonesian ruin trying to solve an impossible puzzle (because of course people had to make things difficult when they could be solved in a matter of minutes), and with a smart ass who liked to point out his misfortune every waking moment, as if he wasn’t already aware of the miserable turn his life took.

“So if I turn the dial here, the light on the wall moves over there…” he mumbled, brows furrowed and a sweaty forehead creased in concentration as he focused his attention on the current puzzle in front of him. He was amazed at how he was able to solve the other bizarre puzzles he had encountered on this journey before finding himself in the middle of the Indonesian jungle in a run-down temple trying to figure out the next clue before moving on. This one was proving quite difficult so far, however. But it’s not like you were helping in any way.

“Gosh, it’s so hot out,” you whined, opting to recline on a broken stone slab in the middle of the room rather than aid Changkyun in the impossible task of opening the mysterious door. “Do you have a fan?”

“Well, my mom used to always tell me she was proud of my achievements,” Changkyun began, a minuscule smirk flashing on his face once he heard your dramatic groan followed by a sarcastic laugh. “But, no. I don’t have a fan. Want me to ask the hotel to turn up the AC?” he mocked.

“Do, and file a complaint while you’re at it. The service here is terrible, it’s like the workers are dead,” you chimed, flinging a pebble towards the remains of some poor unfortunate soul who thought himself smart enough to handle the puzzle in here too. Maybe Changkyun will join him. Well, he hopes, anyway, with how little progress he’s making with the puzzle. He sighs out in frustration as he turns another useless dial.

“So…” you droned, sitting up and scuffing the ends of your boots against the gravel littering the ground. “You nearly got it, bud?” Another sigh from Changkyun, this one louder and wearier than the last. “I’ll take that as a no. I wish I brought a book with me, if I knew you were gonna take this long.”

Changkyun turned to face you, a brow raised, and indignation etched into his dirtied and sweat ridden face. “You could, oh I don’t know, help?” he commented, frowning when a wry smile spread across your lips.

“I could,” you began, “but I’m just the hired help who was never really hired, remember? You’re the brains of us two, and you’re the one who wanted to go after this treasure to begin with. Besides, I’m no good at these weird ass puzzles, so just leave the fighting to me.”

Changkyun grumbled incoherently, taking a step back from the dials. His cocoa coloured eyes roved over the mysterious contraption, hands poised on his hips and a furrow to his brow as you watched his face take on a look of pure concentration. It was something you admired about him, admittedly, how intelligent he truly was behind that mask of humour and his dedication to pursuing his childhood dream. A dream that took a slightly different, more illegal turn, but still, he was doing what he wanted, and you envied him for having his life seemingly sorted out while you still drifted in and out of messy brawler jobs that you hated.

Lost in your thoughts you missed what he had said until a pebble was chucked in your direction.

“What?” you snapped, rubbing your knee from where the impact of the pebble hit you.

Changkyun pursed his lips and narrowed those chocolate eyes of his. Yikes, not a look you enjoy aimed at yourself. “You’re not stupid, you know,” he remarked, eyes scrutinising your form, and suddenly this blazing hot temple felt as cold as Antarctica under his gaze. “Far from it. So uh…don’t sell yourself short,” he shuffled awkwardly, gaze flitting between the ancient puzzle and you, at a loss of what to focus on as a silence descended upon the temple. He cleared his throat and swallowed. “Help me with this, will you? Or else we’ll never get out of here and you’ll never get to fulfil your dream of taking a bath in a solid gold tub.”

Feeling unusually fuzzy after his backhanded compliment, you rose from your spot and moved to stand beside him, your arm brushing against his muscled one that left you with the same familiar sparks you’ve been feeling every time he was close to you.

“What do you need me to do, Captain?” you joked, a half assed way to cover your blushing form in the mask of humour and waving a hand in your face to fight against the heat of the jungle. Changkyun seemingly took no notice, having averted his eyes and moved his body away from yours to stand at one end of the puzzle. He nodded his head towards the opposite end of where he stood.

“Go to that end of the puzzle, we’ll see if we can finish this damned thing together,” he grunted, flicking through the pages of his notebook. You did as told, fiddling cautiously with the dials, all displaying different symbols and letters ranging from crosses to stars, A-Z, and everything in between. Why were pirates so stingy with their gold? Did they have to make everything as complicated as this?

Changkyun began giving orders as soon as you were ready - “turn that one”, “try that one”, “ok that one’s broken, let’s just put that one aside”, “ok nevermind, that was actually a large snail shell”, but to no avail after a full hour of bickering. Fed up of hearing the word ‘dial’ once more, you changed the topic of conversation.

“What made you want to do this kind of stuff?” you asked. Changkyun paused, glanced at you out of the corner of his eyes before returning them to the notebook in his hands. “I’ve always wanted to be an adventurer when I was younger. I wanted to discover new places and find riches, ever since I was a kid. I can remember reading every book about pirates I could find in the library, I went there so much, the librarian eventually just gave me a book to keep for free,” he said fondly, fingers tapping idly at the worn leather cover of his notebook. You smiled warmly at the image of a toothless Changkyun hounding anyone who would listen the stories of the worlds most famous pirates.

“And how did it work out?” you questioned. He looked up in confusion, a light ‘hm?’ reverberating in his chest. “The fortune finding,” you clarified with a smirk. Changkyun gave a wry laugh, his eyes scanning the dingy cave you both landed yourselves in in search of these so called ‘riches’.

“Well, I’ve found none so far-“ you cackled loudly, “-but! I think we’re onto something good here. I really do. Plus, with the views and adventure we’ve seen so far, I think it makes it all worth it. Don’t you?” he grinned, and oh. Oh no. That smile was more dangerous than any fight you’ve been in, because it made you weaker than a kitten and gave you the strongest butterflies you’ve ever felt. Damn you, Im Changkyun. Why must you be so imperfectly perfect?

“What about you?”

“What do you mean?” you replied, moving to sit on the stone slab like before. Changkyun followed, sitting on the opposite end but close enough that you could feel the summer heat radiating off his bronzed skin.

“Why did you decide to be a security-type person?” he asked awkwardly, unsure of how to phrase your ‘occupation’. Should have been blunt and just said ‘thug’. You sighed, rubbing your neck.

“I didn’t really, it just kind of happened, grew up that way. Got into a lot of fights when I was younger, did some defence classes and boxing, got into bar fights more than I ever went to school, and then one day a guy comes up to me and offers me a job to be his protection for a while. I needed the cash, took the job, and doing these types of jobs is all I’ve been doing ever since. Not good for anything much other than that,” you mumbled sombrely, eyes trained on your boots.

“Don’t say that,” Changkyun argued, but you cut him off with a scoff.

“Why not? It’s the truth. I’m only good for putting a fist to someone’s face and ruining lives-“ a sharp pain to your forehead interrupted your self-deprecating speech, and you looked up with a scowl to see Changkyun’s hand raised mid-flick, a pout on his handsome face that made it look years younger. It suits him.

“Stop,” he demands, sticking out his tongue childishly.

“Stop what?”

“All that negative talk, bad mumbo jumbo, not good. You’re amazing.”

As if this jungle couldn’t get any damned hotter your face just flared as hot as the sun at his words. He too realised his bluntness and coughed awkwardly a few times before continuing. “Since we started this expedition you’ve been annoying, cheeky, a pain in my ass-“

“Oh thanks, I really appreciate that,” you droned, but he shushed you quickly.

“But… you’ve been nothing but amazing and helpful since the day I met you. You’re strong, kind, well-abled, cute, independent, funny, intelligent, and overall one of the best people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I am not worthy to stand in such a divine presence,” he whined dramatically, falling to his knees and bowing at your feet. You smiled bashfully, near ready to flick him right back over his kind words and goofy actions, but you remembered something.

“Wait, go back. What was that you said?”

“Uh…you’re one of the best people I know?”

“Back.”

“You’re intelligent?”

“Back again.”

“You’re funny and independent?”

“One more,” you smirked, enjoyed how the tips of his ears turned pink despite his attempt at feigning nonchalance.

“You’re strong?”

“Go forward,” you sighed good-naturedly, crossing your arms as you stared down at him.

“You’re…you’re cute,” he mumbled shyly, refusing to meet your gaze. You laughed quietly and leaned forward to get a better look at his face.

“Bingo.”

“Yeah well, you are. You’re beautiful. Anyone would be a fool not to see it,” he said quickly, still not raising his head to look at you. His words made a comfortable warmth spread over you – not the blistering heat kind like all around you. It made you feel liked, wanted – accepted.

“I…thank you. You’re not so shabby yourself,” you joked mildly, noticing the growing smirk on his lips. “How long have you thought that I was cute?”

“Oh, you know. Since the day I met you, I guess,” he shrugged nervously, standing up to face away from you and towards the puzzle again. Your jaw dropped in shock.

“Changkyun, that’s over a year ago!” you exclaimed.

“You know what they say about pining,” he simply replied, fiddling with his notebook once again. Pining? Oh lord save you, he was going to be the end of you.

“I don’t know, what do they say,” you inquired.

“Oh, I don’t know either. I was hoping you knew,” he sassed, and it was like he was back to normal with his front of humour to deflect situations he did not feel confident in.

“Well,” you began, “we need to finish this puzzle as soon as possible so we can find our riches, get back to our hotel and you can take me on a real date. Somewhere classy. Like KFC.”

Changkyun turned to stare at you in mild shock for a moment, until a grin spread across his lips and a light rosy hue dusted his dirty cheeks. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s get going, shall we?”

Safe to say, after spending hours solving the puzzle, the only thing you received for your efforts was another clue pointing to another damned puzzle somewhere in Malaysia that would no doubt require more climbing, searching, and thinking. But, as you sat next to Changkyun, watching as he drove by the coast in his 4x4, you’d like to think something more valuable was discovered in that ruin. Something completely priceless.

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