#im gonna be honest i know all this shit sounds stupid as hell and none of it matters in anyway

[tibli]

this past week has just. not been very good to me tbh

[glassartpeasants]

If you don't make a happy ending for couldn't care less you better keep bob with you at all times

HOW DARE YOU THREATEN BOB YOU KNOW WHAT-

Couldn’t Care Less .2

Shigaraki x GN!Reader

Warnings: Angst, death, blood, abuse, gore

~~~

“i hope that blue haired fuck got what he wanted. I hope that handyman freak dies alone.” You say to yourself as you walk down the alleys way of Musutafu. The smell of the dingey and moldy alleyways flood your nose as the laughter of happy couples ring in your ears. 

How come they got they’re happily ever after but you didn’t? It wasn’t fair. You did everything you could to be there for him. Yet he still treats you like shit, all because you cared about him? And then he thinks your cheating all cause you ask a male friend for advice! What an insecure asshole.

A vibrating in your pocket brought you back to reality as you realize your phone was ringing. Letting out a sigh you answer,

“Hello?”

“Come pick up your shit.” Oh, you thought you blocked this fuck.

“Keep it asshole. I don’t want anything that smells like ‘lonely bastard who only gets action from his hand’  on my clothes.  Burn it, decay it, I couldn’t give a shit less.”

“God you were always so dramatic. And there’s no reason to be a cunt.”

“And there was no reason for you to be an insecure dick. You either block my number or im calling the police and ratting on you.” A silence fell over the phone. Nothing was said until you finally spoke up.

“Jeez your pathetic. I’ll do it myself.” He was about to say something, insult your most likely before you hung up the phone and blocked him not seconds later.

“Now he’s outta my hair. I can finally feel some sort of calm.”

~~~

3 weeks later

After a day of coming back to your musty apartment you decided it needed a little bit of cleaning, considering you haven’t been their in about 4 months. You paid up front all the time even when you weren’t living in it. Just in case ya know?

You swept up the floors, vacuumed the carpet AND shampooed it.Cleaned the tub, shower and sinks, cleaned out your empty refrigerator, washed all you sheets and what clothes you left there. It wasn’t much so you knew you had to get some more before anything else. That and groceries.

 After all that was said and done, you sat down on the couch and just relaxed. Well you tired, that was before Shigaraki popped into your head again. It wasn’t a sort of loving way, it was a hatred sort of. The thought of his stupid face made you just want to punch a wall, pretending to be his face.

But you ignored it as you turned on the Tv, hoping that would get your mind off him. Nothing interesting except the news. Always talking about violence and war. Same old thing over and over. Blood, death, tragedy.

“This world is a cruel unjust place. The only way it seems to be recognized in this world is death or doing horrible things. Nothing good every comes to fruition.” You grumble before walking to your room and plopping down on the nice clean and still warm sheets. The nice smell of lavender slowly dragging you to sleep.

~~~

A loud bang hit your door which ripped you from your slumber. You were questioning on checking it out before you heard something that made your heart stop,

“If there’s anyone in the house kill them, we can’t have people knowing we ransacked this place.” You slowly get off your bed before moving slowly and quietly to your window. Your push your fingers on the glass and you gently push it up. Grabbing at the sides of the window you pull yourself out of it, not before hearing a gunshot and a burning pain inside your calf.

“Fuck! They’re getting away!” You could hear them from inside the house.

“Did they see you?!” You fell from your window onto the ground. Thankfully your apartment was on the first floor so it wasn’t a high drop.

“Not that i know of! I did shot them in the leg so they shouldn’t have gotten far!” You try your hardest as you run towards the main street. Cutting through alleyways, going as fast as you can as you hear they’re footsteps behind you. Looking up closely you see a hero, knowing he was your only chance you scream for help.

“Help me please!” The hero’s head turned towards you and ran towards you. You guess the robbers heard your cry for help because they’re footsteps seemed to be heading back your probably trashed apartment.

“Oh my! What happened?!” The sound of the hero’s concerned voice calmed you down a bit. 

“Some people tried to rob my place and i tried to get out of there silently but they must have came into my room and saw me leaving and shot me in the calf!” You wince as putting pressure on the wound burned hotter than hell.

“Don’t worry! I’ll get you to the hospital in no time!” You felt relieved before hearing a crunching sound, you looked to your left and see a familiar patch of blue hair in your peripheral vision. You ignored him before getting picked up by the hero and was carried to the hospital. The blood loss from your calf slowly dragged you into unconsciousness.

~~~

After waking up you notice the white room you were in. It was pristine to the touch and smelled of lemon cleaning products. The bright lights hallways peered inside your room from the crack of your door.

Looking around the small feeling of pain crept back into your leg except not as painful anymore. Pulling back the covers you notice bandages and a small bit of blood that stained through the bandages around your wound.

“Ah fuck that’s gonna scar. It’s gonna be a pain to heal too.” You say to yourself as you pull back the blankets and wrap yourself up in them. 

Right as you were falling back asleep the ringing of your cellphone brought you out. Grumbling in annoyance you grab it and look at the caller id. It was a number you didn’t recognize so you just let it ring thinking it’ll be the end of it. That was until it started ringing again. You sighed in frustration and picked up the phone, not wanting it to ring longer since it was in the dead of night at the hospital and you wanted people to be able to sleep.

“What the hell do you want? It’s the middle of the night.” You annoyed voice rang into the other side of the phone.

“Why tf were you talking to a hero? Did you fucking break your end of the bargain?” You were confused at first. You definitely knew the voice behind the phone. Then you remembered earlier that day when you saw him in the shadows.

“I was literally shot. You think im not gonna ask someone for help?” You rub the bridge of your nose.

“I don’t believe you. You always were a two faced bitch.”

“Oh jesus fuck, thanks for the insult. Glad to know what you always thought about me.”

“I’m going to kill you you backstabbing bitch.”

“Love ya too. goodnight and goodbye Shigaraki.” You hung up and blocked said number. You weren’t going to lie, hearing him spill such an insult and threat hurt you and made you very weary and afraid if he would actually go through with it or if he was just saying that to scare you.

You knew what those hands could do and you knew how painful that death would have been. You were hurt more than you liked to admit, at the beginning of your relationship he wasn’t aggressive or mean at all towards you.  He’d try to get you flowers or your favorite type of drink. He called you pet names that would make your heart flutter and beat, you don’t know what you did wrong for him to change so suddenly. It was like on day he flipped a switch, and you never knew why.

You tried recalling the day where it started and remembered that everyone was annoyed or being rude to Dabi, you didn’t know why and when you asked Spinner or anyone else they just said it was national, be a bitch to Dabi day. You laughed and shrugged it off ignoring it before walking up to your boyfriend giving him a kiss on the lips, only to be pushed into the wall and ignored. You just looked at him in shocked and it had only spiraled down from there to where you are now. 

Something had to be wrong. You knew it, Dabi had to have something to do with Shigaraki’s switch in behavior. You looked around the room for any camera and when you noticed that there were none, you called up the burnt male himself. He surprisingly picked up on the first ring.

“(Y/N)? I haven’t heard from you in 3 weeks. Or was it four? Doesn’t matter, where have you been?”

“Dabi, i need you to be honest with me, did you say something to Shigaraki?”

“Huh?”

“Dabi, five months ago Shigaraki flipped a switch and went from a caring boyfriend to an actually nightmare. I need to know if you or anyone else said something to him.” Dabi was quiet on the other line before sighing,

“About that time range i made a joke about sleeping with you, everyone knew it was a joke but apparently Shigaraki didn’t. I didn’t think he’d treat you like he did. Im sorry.” You fell silent. All this shit treatment because Shigaraki couldn’t a joke. Sure it pissed you off that Dabi made such a stupid joke but you were more mad at Shigaraki that he just treated you like shit instead of asking you and confronting you about it.

“Thank you for telling me. Do you know where Shigaraki is now?”

“He left about an hour ago, why?” Shit. You knew this was the only hospital close to your place and Shigaraki knew that too. You got up from your bed and locked the door before going back into your bed, watching the crack under your door incase the light was blocked.

“Dabi, I just want you to know that i forgive you.”

“What? What the fuck are you talking about-” Your phone went silent as the battery died.

‘Shit shit shit shit!’ you thought to yourself as you beg for the phone to turn back on. But you fell silent as the light from the outside of your room was blocked.

“(Y/N), I know you're in there, open the fucking door before i decay it down.” You said nothing in fear. You were glued to your bed as you faced the door.

But that fear was nothing compared to seeing him actually decay the door.

“You stupid snitch. i should make your death as painful as possible.” he said as soon as he stepped inside your hospital room. 

“Shigaraki, I didn’t snitch I promise. Why don’t you believe me!” You say as you get off your bed and try to get as far away from him as possible. The pain of the bullet would making you wince.

“Why would I believe a cheating bitch like you?” Before you could speak a four fingered grip wrapped itself around your throat. Shigaraki was always fast, you should have known that you were gonna die even if you tried your hardest.

“I didn’t cheat on you!” You try to pry yourself from shigaraki’s grip.

“Dabi says otherwise.”

“Are you really going to believe him?! You didn’t even talk to me or ask me about it! Just went straight to believing him!” The grip on your neck got tighter.

“then why was they’re a hickey on your collarbone?!”

“You gave it to me! It was fading out!”

“That doesn’t change the fact you snitched!” His pinkie was grazing closer to your skin.

“I never snitched, I was robbed and then they shot me. If you went to my apartment you would see i was right.” He said nothing just staring at you with cold dead eyes. 

“Look! I have bandages wrapped around my calf!” Shigaraki looked down before saying something back.

“It was something the hero’s did so they could protect you in this shit hospital.” I was at that moment you knew, nothing you said would change his mind. You shed not a tear while looking him in the eyes

“I wish I never met you. Fuck you Tomura Shigaraki, I hope you die alone and I’ll see you in hell.” You move your head so his last and final finger touched your skin.

The pain of your skin decaying and falling off was much more painful than you thought it would be. You can remember screaming in pain but, it felt more of a emotional scream rather than one of physical pain. but it seems you weren’t the only one screaming.

The sounds of Shigaraki wailing and screaming your name reached your ears before all you heard was silence and saw nothing.

Shigaraki scrambled to try and grab you and even put you together, but your bloody ashes stuck to his hand. Remains of your existence covered his clothes as he screamed in pain. 

“No no no no! Wait please! I didn’t mean it!” He cried as his tears fell onto your ashes, the tears collecting the ashes and forming a grey tear drop. He wasn’t thinking clearly, he’s sorry! He didn’t want to kill you! 

Bile rose from his throat as he puked all over the ground, inches away from your ashes. He grabbed your ashes trying to pick them up to hold what was left of you. But all he got was the remains of your smeared all over his hoodie. He shook violently as  memories of you guys replayed in his mind, your happy face and the way you use to love him and care for him.

But now, you were nothing more than ashes on his sleeve, reminding him that he was now truly alone.

[kisslettrs]

haikyuu characters talking after a fight with their s/o

featuring: lev, kuroo, suna

a/n: first post woo! hope you enjoy this ! ALSO UM. THEY TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEYD BE??? ESPECIALLY KUROOS LMAO THEYRE NEVER THIS LONG I PROMISE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OR VICE VERSA. also not beta read soz 💔

warnings: none i don’t think? relationship fights ig. oh and angsty with some gushy shit at the end for each of them 💞

→ HAIBIA LEV

you and lev rarely get into fights. only small complains about his behavior and him whining, or friendly petty arguments. but last night was different... I guess you could say.

lev was always pretty immature and playful yeah, but sometimes it felt like he never took anything seriously. it felt as though he never took him and your relationship seriously. especially now, when you decided to confront him about it.

“why are you laughing...?” you asked, staring at him

“i-i’m sorry, y/n honey, i just...!” he said, covering his mouth as a half assed attempt to keep in his laughter.

“lev, i know it’s just in your nature to act like this but I’m being genuine. i’m not joking, please. you’re doing it again! please just listen—!”

you were cut off again by the sounds of your significant other’s laughter, causing all your frustration to let loose.

“lev haiba!”

he immediately stopped, before looking at you in the eyes, his thin pupils meeting yours.

“i’m sorry. but lev, please can you just take me seriously for once?! i love you, but you need to understand that you can’t just—!” you frailed your hand around, motioning towards him, you, whatever this scene was. “—you can’t just do this all the time I—!”

before you could finish, your mind had been too pent up with frustration. “nevermind...” you grabbed your bag, before rushing out the door, not giving him the chance to talk.

fast forward next day, and you checked your phone.

[32 new messages from favorite dork 💝]

you sigh heavily, before letting the cold feeling of guilt claw at the back of your head. you hadn’t mean to make lev worry, you just needed your time alone. although if you did have to be honest with yourself, leaving without a ‘i love you,’ or hell even just a ‘bye’ was cruel.

as you opened your messages, you were bombarded with messages of pleas and apologizes that were sent at 9:21 PM last night, moments after you left his house. the guilt swallowed your stomach again, your hands slowly typing; “it’s ok hun. really. I love you too.” and pressing send.

you threw your phone onto your bed, before deciding to get ready. you and lev never really saw each other much since you two were in different grades, he was a first year, you were a second. you both had to wait after school, or well... maybe moments after. your phone buzzed a few times, but you decided to ignore it. it was too early.

schools over, and you’re walking home. you were gonna talk to lev today, just not now. you didn’t wanna interrupt his volleyball training just for some stupid relationship issue. as soon as you reach home however, you see a familiar tall figure fidgeting on his phone.

“...lev?” you called out, causing the silver haired boy to whip his head around, his eyes lighting up. “Y/N!”

he quickly shoved his phone inside his pocket, before running up to you and embracing you in a warm hug, shaking you a little. “y/n! y/n! i’m sorry for being stupid last night, I’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” he was squeezing you tight, and god did it hurt hearing his voice break like that.

“lev, sweetie, i told you it’s okay, really.” you spoke, caressing his back. he seemed to stay still for a moment, before speaking once again. “is this okay? me holding you like this, is this okay or do you... need space?”

you smiled softly. it made you happy lev wanted to make sure he wasn’t overstepping any of your boundaries. you felt your other arm hold him. “yeah, this is okay.” you swore you could feel him smile out of relief.

“i’m... i’m sorry again y/n honey, it’s just hard for me, i don’t...” he paused. “it’s just...difficult for me to handle situations like that.” you nuzzled into his shoulder. “it’s okay, you dork. i understand.” you reassured him again.

“but—!” he pushed back, meeting your eyes. “i’m gonna try...i’m gonna try harder. i’m gonna try to be better, for you y/n! i love you so much... i’ll do my best.” god, this dork. no wonder you loved him so much. you cupped his cheeks. “i’ll do better too lev, i won’t be as mean again. i promise, i love you too, so much.”

and with that, both of your faces met, and the two of you kissed lightly.

→ KUROO TETSURO

you and kuroo get into small arguments here and there like every other couple, and whenever you do you two usually recover quickly. you both like to call them ‘squicks.’

however, that night there was no denying that wasn’t any other normal squick you two had. no, that was a fight.

kuroo and you haven’t had a moment alone that wasn’t just you and him walking back home, and it’s been making you upset. so uh, that night you decided to confront him about it.

yeah it didn’t go well uhh

“i know we’re like, a couple y/n. but honey you have to understand i’m busy. you have friends don’t you? go hang out with them or something.”

“yeah, i know kuroo, and trust me i’m happy for you! but you’ve been so distant, we haven’t had a moment alone that lasted more than 5 minutes for like, 2 months! it wasn’t a big deal then, but i miss you and i’m worried.”

you paused, before continuing. “don’t you wanna spend some time with me? just, for like 30 minutes? don’t you miss me?”

“i do, y/n. i miss you and i love you. but like i said i’m busy with volleyball, you aren’t my top priority right now.”

“it’s been 2 months kuroo!” you shouted, causing him to widen his eyes. “don’t you understand? i’m not asking for your top attention, I’m asking for you to give me 25% of it at least!”

it was quiet for a moment. “sorry.” was all he said, before turning around his eyes focused on the volleyball between his feet.

you felt hurt and frustrated. “you know what? fine.” he immediately went back to look at you, seeing you grab your bag. “see you whenever you feel like to acknowledge my existence, I guess. bye.”

as soon as you touched the doorknob, you could hear him get up and say the words ‘wait, baby wait—‘ but you had enough. you needed to air out your head of the tension and frustration of the house and you left. you felt tears peak at the corner of your eyes as soon as you did.

next day, and you’ve been feeling shittier than usual. as soon as you woke up, you turned to make you lay on your back, staring at your ceiling and thinking; “was i too harsh? am i being too selfish? too clingy?”

you loved what your boyfriend did and you were perfectly fine with him having his time to himself. you knew you weren’t his top priority and he wasn’t yours. but 2 months with little to no communication felt too long. was it wrong to want to spend at least 30 minutes with your boyfriend? was that too much to ask for?

the anxiety raced to your head again. what if you were being too clingy. maybe kuroo had the right to be upset too. you were being too selfish, stop thinking of yourself so often. you curled up into your side. you didn’t want to think about it, and you didn’t want to see him in the halls either. you didn’t even wanna check your phone to see if you messaged you.

you decided to skip, staying home, watching TV and playing some games. you couldn’t mentally handle seeing him. at least not for right now.

some time passes by, and your phone is buzzing. you checked the time from the small clock on your wall, seeing the handles pointing towards 4:30 PM. oh wow, after school clubs should be over too.

you grabbed your phone to see who it’s by, knowing deep down it was who you thought it was.

[23 new messages by Hubby 😾💗]

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something...]

[2 missed calls by Hubby 😾💗]

choosing to ignore kuroo for now, you swiped at Kenma’s notification and read the full message.

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something happen with kuroo that youre aware of??? he seemed so much more down than usual during practice.

you: no. we rarely talk anymore because of practice lol I guess.

Kyanma: ???

Kyanma: Did something happen between YOU two?

you: we had a fight. im not really in the mood to talk to him. I skipped school. itll be back to normal in a few more days, sorry for the inconvenience snchsychsj

Kyanma: you two should resolve that. like seriously. hope u two feel better tho, bye✌️

you: we will hopefully lol bye kenma !!]

sighing, you placed your phone down on the small coffee table infront of you, but as soon did, you heard a knock coming from your front door. humming in response, you got up and made your way towards the front door, but decided to look through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t some scammer person or creep.

well, it was neither of those two but it was in fact no one else other than kuroo tetsuro. you sighed heavily again, before unlocking the door and turning the knob opening up to your boyfriend.

“hey y/n.”

“hi kuroo.”

you folded your arms, deciding to put up a strong facade, pretending you weren’t mentally screaming and that anxiety wasn’t clawing at your back. “did you forget something or...?”

kuroo brought his hand to the back of neck, awkwardly scratching it. “yeah uh...” he looked around, not wanting to make eye contact. “um. listen y/n.” he made his way to grab your hands, holding them together. “i’m sorry. i really am.”

“please don’t touch me. not right now at least...” even though you seemed so desperate for his touch the other night, you really did need your space. kuroo seemed alarmed at first, quickly swiping his hands back, wanting to respect your space. “of course baby! i’m sorry for acting too soon.”

you watched him scramble around a bit, finding it a bit cute. “can I come inside?” he asked. you nodded, and both of you went inside and sat to your coach.

“like I said y/n. i know ive been distant, and ive missed you so much. god, do I miss you. i wanna hug you and cuddle you so bad but volleyball and the nationals have been bugging me i couldn’t have find the proper time. i’m just scared... and I...”

“kuroo.” you said. his head snatched upwards, looking at you. you were gonna say something as soon as he did but the look he gave you caught you off guard. he looked like a cat pleading.

as soon as you pushed away the thoughts of him being stupidly adorable, you continued your sentence. “I understand, and i’m sorry for being too clingy. i just miss you a lot. i’m willing to wait for you, baby.” as soon as you said that, you saw his eyes pierce through your soul. fuck did I say something wrong.

before you could say anything else, it was kuroo’s turn to speak. “no baby. it’s alright, you aren’t the one at fault here it was me. i’m sorry for not listening to you that night. i’m gonna be a better boyfriend, i’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve through and through.”

fucking idiot, i’m the one who was supposed to say sorry, not you! You didn’t say anything for a moment, before laughing lightly. “babe? i love you but i have to be the one who takes at least, 50% of the fault. it’s okay, i love you and i forgive you. and i’m happy for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come.” you placed your hand on his. “you can touch me now.”

his eyes immediately lit up, his lips curving into a smile and you swore you could see tears start forming in his eyes before he launched himself onto you. “my god y/n, how did i get so lucky. i love you so much, i love you so much.” he hugged you tight. you laughed. “i love you too kuroo. so much, i love you so much. i’m the lucky one.”

he pulled away and brought you to a kiss. before you could respond, he asked, “are you free saturday?”

→ SUNA RINTARO

while suna and you disagreed on a lot of things from time to time, you two usually both came to a mutual agreement and it wasn’t anything big.

but lately he seemed even more off than usual. communication was such a huge thing between both of you, but he seemed to just not be...cooperating?

suna is someone who doesn’t like expressing his emotions. and as his significant other, you felt like understanding him was a priority. but you just didn’t sometimes and it made you worry. him being distant did not help.

one day when you decided to bring it up, the situation got a bit... out of hand

“what?” he asked.

you shrugged your shoulders. “i don’t know. suna i care for you, and you just never helping me understand makes me extremely upset! i know it’s hard for you, but...”

you could feel him roll his eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going on about y/n,” he looked at you. “but really, i’m fine. do you not trust me to talk to you or something?”

“no..!” you denied. “listen. youve been getting more and more tired each day and i could tell. you’ve been ghosting me too.”

“...what?” he basically hissed it. “i’m not an asshole y/n. nothing is wrong. why do you keep trying to butt your head into my life every second?” his voice began to raise.

this was rare. even when he did raise his voice at you, it was never filled with negative intent but this time...

“i can take care of myself, y/n. i don’t need you and your noisy nose in my business all the time. sorry if you feel like you’re on baby sitting duty, but you really don’t need to be so clingy and emotional all the time...”

well damn. his words hurt. a lot.

“sorry for caring for you then, damn...” you grumble under your breath. you quickly grabbed your house keys and bags. he perked his head up. “y/n? where are you going?”

you didn’t reply. “y/n!” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the pain in your chest and stomach, before opening the door and leaving.

as soon as you woke up, your head hurt more than usual. those words must’ve hit you deeper than they should’ve, huh?

maybe i was just being too clingy, you thought, and those thoughts hadn’t left your mind the whole morning. whatever, you’ll just apologize after school.

you haven’t seen suna at all that day, not on the walk to school, not in the halls, not in his classroom. he was... nowhere. when you went to the volleyball club after school, asking if any of the members had seen him all of them replied with a simple ‘no.’

kita specically had been giving you long glances ever since you arrived. once you finally reached him, instead of denying seeing your boyfriend, he told you, “he wasn’t in school at all i assume. maybe he’s at home.”

home? why would he be home? maybe he was feeling sick...

you bowed and thanked him and the rest of the teammates before leaving. on your way home, you decided to stop by a connivence store and buy him his favorite snack, chuupet. or well, just jelly fruit snacks. you bought 2 packs for you and him, hoping it was a good time to apologize.

you walked up to his house, knocked lightly on the door and was greeted by his mother. “ah~ greetings y/n!” you smiled lightly and gave her a wave. “good afternoon! say, is rintaro home?” you asked. she nodded, moving to the side as a way to invite you in the house. “he should be in his room!”

“thank you!” you bowed quickly before making your way up the stairs. as soon as you passed by his sisters room, there you were infront of his. with your free hand, you lightly held a fist and began knocking on his door.

“suna? rintaro?” you called out. you would call him by a sweet pet name but remembering last night, you didn’t wanna break any boundaries. the room was quiet, and though you really didn’t wanna disturb him, you wanted to make sure he was okay. as soon as you did, however, you were greeted by a sight that broke your heart.

suna rintaro, the boy you loved so much, had his hair messier than usual, his eyes seemed red from crying and he was up against his bed frame, his phone in his hand. when he looked up, he saw you, his eyes widening.

“...y-y/n?” you stood there frozen. “rintaro...honey my god,” you quickly went up to him. “what happened?” you looked at him, his gaze looking down. you wanted to hug him so bad, but yet again, that argument you had last night prevented you from anything.

“hey. listen, sweetie. i got your favorite.” you held up the 2 bags of jelly fruit gummies. “it’s gonna be okay, okay? i’m here.” he was just looking at you, not saying anything, before muttering something under his breath.

“huh? what was that? i didn’t hear you hon, what’s up?” you asked, making sure to keep your distance. suna choked back a sob, before launching himself onto you, almost knocking you into the ground. “w-woah there!”

“y/n... i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i’ve been so frustrated with school... exams... volleyball and i’ve missed you so much but i was so tired that night! i lashed out on you but i didn’t mean any of it. i promise, i promise, don’t leave me please.” he sobbed quietly, his head resting against your forehead. when you looked up, you could see him squeezing his eyes shut.

wow, this was even more rare.

you brought your arms to his neck, embracing him. “it’s okay rintaro. shh, it’s gonna be okay. i love you and i’m sorry for being upset, i just worry about you.” you rubbed his back lightly as he continued sobbing, allowing you to give him a few kisses on the cheek, neck and forehead. “you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay honey. i love you so much.” you repeated.

suna never showed his emotions much, but he seemed to have a lot of pent up anger, sadness and confusion up in him, and he let it out for an hour infront of you, there to comfort him.

as soon as he stopped, you and him were snuggling on his bed watching whatever was on his TV, eating the fruit snacks. he leaned onto your head. “i love you...please, don’t leave me. i’m sorry.”

you bumped your head back onto him. “stop apologizing. i keep telling you it’s okay.” you giggled lightly. “please sweetie, talk to me so this doesn’t happen again.” he only nodded silently, before drifting to sleep in your embrace.

[xpeachesncream]

perfectly wrong | thirteen

summary: there were rules that had to be followed: no one could know about you two, there was no ‘getting to know each other,’ and there was absolutely no emotional attachment allowed. if this could be done, there should be no complications. but somehow, the rules always get bended.

pairing: reader x fuckboy!kth

genre: college au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 2.3k

chapter warnings: cussing, soft tae

notes: down to 2 chapters left! i will most likely do some drabbles every now and then for this, but not right away because i’ll be working on my new fic: acquainted. will let you know when this goes live, but pls check it out. it’s gonna be messy and filthy as hell, im sorry lmao

tags: @soulstaes​ @apollukee​ @imluckybitches​ @btsis7okay​ @ppangiiroo​ @gee-nee​ @enchantaeduniverse​ @miinoongi​ @thedarkwinterrose​ @levrantae​ @somewhereofftheglobe​ @jwlmnbt​ @symmetricaleyeliner​ @bluesharksandfish​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

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Taehyung slouched on his couch, tv on whatever the hell channel it was on. He scrolled through his phone aimlessly, but it wasn't long before he huffed and threw his phone aside. He wasn't feeling himself, or anything for that matter, and was tired of being in this funk. He felt terrible about how everything went down and he couldn't really forgive himself for the shit he said to you. He didn't mean the things he said, but he was also the one who didn't know how to properly process feelings. He always acted on impulse and how he felt at that moment, rather than thinking about the situation rationally. Plus yeah, he had a temper. Shit didn't mix.

"Ayo." He hears Jimin's voice at the door, followed by three soft knocks.

"It's unlocked." Tae says. Jimin welcomes himself in and kicks his shoes aside. He smiles at him, holding something in his hands as he walks into the kitchen. "What's up?"

"Uh, found these at your door." He holds up the prints Tae bought from you. He sighs and shakes his head, almost dismissing it entirely.

"Keep it."

"Um, no? You bought these for a reason, so you should keep them."

"Not anymore." Taehyung lays his head back against the couch and shuts his eyes.

"You're so dramatic. I'm leaving these here."

"Whatever."

"What's wrong with you now, princess?"

"I'm just not in the mood."

"You haven't been in the mood.." Jimin sits on the other end of the couch. "And quite frankly, it's pretty annoying. You know what you did wrong, so why don't you just fix it?"

"It's not that easy."

"Says who? You?" Jimin scoffs. "Look, I know our track record isn't the best, but I know you genuinely care about Y/N. I know she means more to you than what you put out there, so why can't you just take it for what it is? Why do you have to make it so complicated?"

"Because I'm sure by now she hates me and wants nothing to do with me. It's exactly one of the things I'm afraid about the most. What if she gives up or realizes she doesn't want me the way I want her?"

"Do you think she's worth it?"

"I just-"

"Yes or no?" Taehyung looks at him as he leans over onto his knees.

"Yes, I do."

"Then none of that shit should matter. I'm positive she cares about you just as much as you do for her. If she's worth it, then you'd be willing to go through these ups and downs with her and do this ride with her."

"She's not going to want this after what I did, Jimin."

"You're full of excuses." Jimin shakes his head. "Then you do what you can to fix this and show her how you'll change, rather than just saying you'll do this and that."

"I don't know." Is all Taehyung can say. "I was pretty hurtful."

"You're also human. It's okay to make mistakes, but you should really work on processing your feelings better and communicating. Plus, your temper, dude. Tone that shit down."

"It's been so long since I've done this." Believe it or not, Taehyung was the complete opposite before. His last, serious relationship a couple of years ago made him flip the switch. He gave his ex everything, and was always willing to put his life down for her. He gave and gave, even if he felt like he couldn't anymore. He did all this just to get fucked over in the end, which is why he ultimately didn't believe relationships were worth the energy anymore.

"Y/N is not your ex. Stop comparing it to that. No experience will be the exact same."

"Ughhhh, I fucked this all up." Tae groaned, tilting his head back and covering it with his hat.

"I'm just saying, you could still try and fix this. Even in the end you two don't get together or whatever, you can at least say you tried. I'm tired of you moping around like you can't do shit to make it better. You know what she means to you."

"I'm not moping."

"Yes, you are! Look at you, looking like a sorry ass." Jimin threw his crumpled napkin at him. "Don't pass up on a good girl like that."

"Okay, I get it."

"No, I don't think you do." Tae looked at him. "Look, if this was any other girl, I probably wouldn't care much. But Y/N is genuinely different and I see how you both look at each other. It's really obvious how much you two ended up caring for each other."

"She is different. God, she's.." Tae sighs as he runs his hand through his hair. "She's beautiful and sweet, with just the right amount of mean. She's creative and her voice has always been so soothing. I want her around me all the time, even when she gets frustrating as hell." Jimin smiles.

"If you pass on her, she's mine." Jimin teased, knowing it would rub Taehyung the wrong way.

"Fuck you." Taehyung spat. "I should still beat your ass for the shit you pulled at the club."

"It was harmless." Jimin laughed. "So are you fixing this or what?"

"If I fix this, you need to stay 10 ft away from her." Jimin laughed out loud and held his stomach.

"Cry baby. I'm not gonna do anything." Jimin came and patted him on the back. "I'm sure everything will be just fine." And so, Taehyung gets himself up to go and fix this. He knew it wasn't going to be easy but he needed to right his wrongs.

Taehyung sat in his car and gathered himself together before he made his way up to the apartment. He gave off three knocks before he waited patiently for the door to swing open.

"I have to be honest, it's taking everything in me to stop myself from fucking you up right now." Jungkook sighed and stepped aside to let him in.

"That's fair."

"So, what's up? Why did you need to come here to talk to me?"

"I just wanted to apologize for how things went down at Jin's party."

"I appreciate it, but it still doesn't change the fact that you disrespected Y/N and talked down on her the way you did."

"I know, and I didn't mean any of it. I just wasn't thinking. If I'm being completely honest, I was pretty jealous of your relationship with her."

"What is this, high school?" Jungkook stopped himself from taking it any further because he could say a lot more to his face, but he wasn't going to since Taehyung made the effort to come here and apologize in person.

"Okay, I get it, it's childish."

"At least you're aware." Jungkook paused before shaking his head. "Look, not that it should even matter or anything, but all I knew growing up was Y/N and Jin hyung and vice versa. I didn't have any siblings or any cousins that could relate to me. I moved a lot before I finally settled with my family. I didn't get along with people easily, which is why when I met Y/N, we got really close and I stuck by her. We were similar, but different. It's always been that way, and quite frankly, it's not going to change." Taehyung nodded. "She doesn't have her family by her side, so me, hyung, Yoongi and Hoseok became that for her."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just kept thinking you two had it for each other like that and I couldn't understand why it was making me so upset."

"I love Y/N, I really do. But at the end of the day, she's her own person and she decides how to live her life. It's her life and I'm only in it." Jungkook shrugs. "I want nothing more than for Y/N to be happy with someone who can give her the world and cherish her for who she is. She has so much to offer and she brings life to everything around her."

"I-" Taehyung paused. "I really care about her. And I know this probably sounds stupid coming from me, but I want to do things differently with her."

"I just have to ask - are you even sure of your own feelings? You're not doing all of this cause you're lonely and have no one else to go to?"

"No, of course I'm sure of my feelings." Jungkook shrugged.

"You've been messing around with so many girls for some time now, though."

"Yeah and I also stopped doing that for awhile now."

"It's just hard to believe because I'd hate for her to have to go through it if you go back to your old ways."

"I won't."

"But that's easy for you to say, isn't it?" Kook shot him a look. All of a sudden, this conversation felt more like an interview but Jungkook had to do what he had to do. He knew what Taehyung was capable of, and he would hate for you to go through it again.

"Yeah it is, but she makes me want to be a better man." Jungkook sighed. He saw the look in Taehyung's face and he couldn't completely say it was all bullshit. He had never seen this kind of soft expression come from someone like Taehyung. "I haven't felt this way in a really long time, and it's scary for me. But she's worth it."

"I get that." Jungkook nods. "She cares about you a lot, you know? She may not say it but I saw how beat up she was over this entire thing."

"I want to fix this."

"I have to be honest, I'm a little wary. You really have to keep your word about doing better and not slipping up. She doesn't deserve it." Taehyung nods.

"I hear you." Taehyung pauses. "How is she?" Jungkook shrugs.

"Fine, except for the fact that she's sick right now." Taehyung's eyes widen.

"Is she alright?"

"Yeah. If you haven't figured it out already, Y/N isn't the type to back down." Taehyung chuckled.

"Yeah, I got that much."

"Hey," Jungkook tilted his head to look at him once more. "I really do respect the fact that you came here to talk to me in person. I know we don't know much about each other, but I know Y/N can see good in you." Taehyung nodded silently.

"Only trying to right my wrongs here. I don't want to slip up and lose her already."

"So, have you talked to hyung yet?" Taehyung looked at him and shook his head.

"No, but that's where I was headed after this." Kook nods silently. The two talk for a bit more, making sure they were on the right page, enough to put the past behind them and move on from the petty, unnecessary drama that had went down. When Taehyung had felt satisfied tackling one of the biggest hurdles, he made his way over to the cafe to tackle the last one. Not gonna lie, Taehyung was scared for this encounter because he knew Jin would lay his life down for you. Luckily for him, Jin was a wise man and never held grudges. Of course he didn't appreciate how Taehyung handled himself and this whole thing, but it wasn't entirely his fault and Jin always thought holding onto negativity was a waste of energy.

Jin happily greeted him, like his usual self, and brought him to the back so they could talk. Taehyung was sweating bullets, but he knew if he wanted to be in your life, he'd have to make it right with Jin. For Aiko, for the things he said and the things he's done to hurt you, everything. And so he sympathetically apologizes as he sits in front of Jin. Apologizes for the way things went down at the party, for Aiko, for having hurt anyone in this situation. Jin gave off a small, toothless smile and told Taehyung how he appreciated him for coming by. Quite frankly, he wanted to kill him as soon as you had told him about everything that had gone done between the both of you, including finding out about Aiko. Although the whole thing with Aiko was unfortunate, he couldn't really be mad because she was never his to begin with. The only thing he was really worried about was you, his baby cousin. Baby sister. Taehyung confessed that he had been feeling pretty lost because he believed you wouldn't want anything to do with him after that night. Jin reassures him and does a damn good job of it, telling him that you would never completely shut someone out, especially if you cared about them. Jin could tell how much you ended up caring for the guy and he wasn't going to make you change your mind about it because you were grown, and you could make your own decisions. He would only be there to support you and reassure you if times got tough. He didn't know Taehyung enough to immediately label him as a bad guy and right now, he was only showing he had some good in him.

They continued to talk for a bit [while Jin still had the time, at least], with Jin trying his best to coach him about how to best proceed with this situation. Of course, it was entirely up to Taehyung how he wanted to do this, but Jin could afford to sprinkle in a little bit of help.

"You're really sure about this, right? I don't want her to get hurt again. Y/N deserves all the best, and if a man were to ever come into her life, I'd want him to take good care of her and spoil her without her having to ask for it. I'd want him to be sure of her and to never make her question her worth." Taehyung nodded.

"I hear you, and I'm sure. It's scary, but I want to do this with her."

[rouiettes]

raya and the ugliest fucking dragon i've ever seen holy fuck who the hell thought to give a dragon fuckiNG EYEBROWS WHY WHY—

aka the musings of a filo non-binary bisexual who feels victimized by the dragon designs of this fucking movie supposedly centred around THE LAST DRAGON???? MAYBE THEY SHOULD HAVE STAYED STONE GDI WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY WHY DO THE DRAGONS LOOK LIKE THAT

let's get one thing straight.

none of the characters in this movie. rest assured. not a single straight person was in this movie. trust me.

raya and the last dragon had all the foundations of a good movie

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO GREAT

BUT IT WASNT

AND HERE'S WHY

(in my humble opinion okay pls dont come for me)

a disney movie with sea culture at its heart and soul, i was so hyped to finally watch this movie

(not as hyped as i could have been tho bc let's be honest DISNEY DID SHIT WITH RAYA'S MARKETING)

(AND PERHAPS FOR GOOD REASON LOL I SWEAR I DONT HATE THIS MOVIE OKAY)

you had the amazing score, the amazing concepts for plot and characters, the solid solid worldbuilding???

if you just told me about how raya's setting and premise, i'd probably be "wow this movie sound like the whole package"

and then i'll actually watch the movie and have just as much trust issue as raya did :/

but i digress

A DISNEY MOVIE WITH SEA CULTURE AT ITS HEART AND SOUL

do you know how diverse sea culture is??? VERY

and one thing i was very happy to see was how raya handled it

it was by no means perfect but

the subtle shows of culture in the way the characters acted, and the environment of the movie was just CHEF'S KISS

not only that but the ideas the movie had in terms of its world and the people in it felt genuine, it felt alive

a dragon that isn't the typical fire-breathing lizard

characters who look like they could easily be my neighbours or children i've played with

instead of pandering to this movie felt like an actual homage to sea cultures

and for good reason bc seeing all those familiar names rolling in the credits had me feeling some type of way :")

also that fucking soundtrack gave me chills throughout my watch of the movie

okay now that we've got the things i actually like about the movie, let's talk about what i don't like

if there's one word i could use to describe disney's raya it would be: rushed

like i said in the beginning, all the groundwork for an astounding disney movie were already there

but all of it just goes to waste bc the plot and it's characters feel so Unfinished

the movie felt like a bullet-point presentation of the story

WHICH IS SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTING BC THE CHARACTERS SEEMED SO INTERESTING but all we got were shadows of what they could have been

cardboard cutouts of the archetypes they filled

i'm not asking for a bottomless well of depth, but i at least wanted more for the cast than just: angry misunderstood princess, angry misunderstood princess with an undercut, that one dancing kid from moana but with more spice, boss baby, and the mountain

and i get that they had to sacrifice some of their depth to keep the run time of the movie short but you have got to be better than this disney

i hate to compare but it felt like this movie tried to go beyond what moana gave us, and shot so far that it ended up back to where it started, and then stumbled back a few steps

AND IM NOT EVEN SAYING A DRAGON MOVIE WITH A BIG CAST IS IMPOSSIBLE

BC IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON DID IT THREE TIMES

and you'd think the plot for one of the few disney movies with a non-western setting would have more than just a macguffin considering how batshit sea folk tales can be

but you'd think wrong folks.

GENUINELY IT FELT LIKE THEY WERE ATTEMPTING SOMETHING BUT WERE SHORT OF BRINGING IT TO FRUITION

sure moana had a macguffin too with the heart of te fiti, but the heart itself wasn't the heart of the movie

it was the journey of moana and maui

it was that BEAUTIFUL TWIST WITH TE KA AND TE FITI

ALL DELIVERED WITH A NATURAL FINESSE THAT HAD YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT

YOU WERE ALONG FOR THE RIDE OF THE STORY INSTEAD OF QUESTIONING EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON LIKE I WAS

maybe this was just me but like, i felt so bad for the friend who watched this movie with me bc all i could go on and on was how the plot felt like it was getting in the way of itself

why didn't the different kingdoms (??) kept the gem in rotation or smth, when did they decide that heart would keep it and then get mad at heart for keeping it????

why didn't awkwafina dragon just show herself to the kingdoms bc everyone seems to be in agreement that dragons good right? that they would be the key to getting rid of the druun right??? SO THEY'D ALL AT LEAST HEAR HER OUT OR SMTH RIGHT????????

and yes raya has trust issues but it seems to only spring up at the most convenient times plot-wise, we didn't really see her learn to trust other people again OTHER THAN THE TIMES WHERE SISU WOULD HAMFISTEDLY SHOVE IT DOWN OUR THROATS THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE GOOD SOMETIMES RAYA

we see it with boun, but then she just trusts noi, her monkeys, and tong THE GUY WHO STRUNG THEM UP AND WAS THREATENING TO TORTURE THEM????????

i'm gonna be honest and say that if it weren't for namaari i'd have absconded the moment sisu came on screen

as far as i'm considered the actual plot of the movie is just the entire sword fight scene between her and raya

and finally

we get to the part i will be erasing from my brain for my own mental well-being

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT DRAGON DESIGN

WHY OH WHY TH  E FUCK DOES SISU SOUND AND LOOK LIKE THAT

my friend said they looked like the ponies from mlp in 3d AND NOW I CAN NEVER UNSEE IT

THEY HAVE EYEBROWS THEY HAVE HUMAN FACES

HUMAN FACES ON MAJESTIC DRAGON BODIES

THE INTERNET HAS COLLECTIVELY DECIDED THAT SISU IS BASICALLY FURRY ELSA

every time we got a sisu close up i lost 5 years to my life

disney i am suing for damages

if you want me to drop the charges i demand raya 2: electric boogaloo but it’s just raya and namaari enemies to friends to lovers ark

and also for them to never say dragon nerds ever again

AGAIN. HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON GAVE US BEAUTIFUL DRAGON DESIGNS. HELL IF YOU WANTED MORE EASTERN LOOKING DRAGONS FUCKING SPIRITED AWAY??? HAKU??????????

AND YKNOW WHAT. SISU WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK THAT HORRIFIC IF THE MOVIE WAS IN 2D

im not the first person to be side-eying disney's decision to keep pumping out these 3d movies but like.

no amount of added dimensions could ever make that dragon design okay

and there so many more points i could go off on to show how this movie was rushed

how the other dragons, and even sisu's siblings whom she had been missing for the entire movie DIDNT MAKE A SINGLE SOUND???? NOT EVEN A FUCKING GROWL DISNEY???? DID YOU EVEN TRY WITH THE DRAGONS AT ALL??? THE SUPPOSED CENTRE OF THIS MOVIE'S PLOT?????????

HOW THE CHIEFS OF THE OTHER KINGDOMS WERE BASICALLY PLOT DEVICES????

THAT ONE CHIEF'S SKELETON WAS MORE INTERESTING THAN ANY OF THEM COMBINED ALIVE

kudos to that one granny chief though

u can never have enough bad ass old ladies

AND GOD THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS JUST FELT SO FORCED

ALONG WITH WHATEVER LESSON SISU WANTED TO IMPART ABOUT TRUST

LOVE THESE CHARACTERS THEY ARE FUNNY THEY ARE FRIENDS FOUND FAMILY

TRUST PEOPLE IF U WANT THEM TO TRUST U

TRUST PEOPLE OR ILL LITERALLY FUCKING KILL U

children aren't stupid disney. if you tell your story well enough, they'll pick up on the messages you want to give them. YOU DONT HAVE TO THRUST EVERYTHING IN OUR FACES

i was exhausted by the time i finished this movie

bc i really wanted to love it. i wanted to feel more for it than just: well, it's a movie :)

i dont hate this movie though like it's not even worth the energy for that

i think that ultimately, despite all my issues with it, this movie was a step in the right direction when it comes to having non-western stories being told by non-western people in big name productions

i'm glad raya and the last dragon exists

i just can't help but be dissapointed though bc this movie put so much effort into putting my people and culture at its forefront but at what cost???

good characters and story for a good setting and design????

does it have to be one or the other?????

DOES THE DRAGON HAVE TO HAVE EYEBROWS??????

[faithinthefuture28]

Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker). 

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song. 

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy.  I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back). 

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and  response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean). 

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about). 

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do). 

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives. 

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together. 

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home. 

 2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you. 

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door,  hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me 

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H 

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER 

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy 

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person? 

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28 

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”. 

[saturnwritings]

one drink too many

—after getting a bit too rowdy on a girls night out, it’s up to bakugou to take care of you when things go south and the night dwindles to a close.

pairing(s): bakugou x reader (established)

word count: 2735

warnings: bad decisions made by consumption of alcohol

a/n: special thanks to my irl friend kim for suggesting this!! and uhh,, if y’all wanna give me sum nice juicy requests i would be happy to 😎 also my first bnha fic!! kinda weird since bakugou isnt really in my list of best boys (hes like b or a tier ngl 😔 but my friend really likes him also this was v fun i starting writing at 2 and ended at like 11 but im really proud of it)

“Hey y/n! You almost ready to go? The Uber’s almost here!” 

As you held your phone up to your ear, your eyes widened. You had almost completely forgotten about the girls night out you planned, despite already being dressed. 

You promised your boyfriend you’d hang out with him before you left, so there you were: all dressed up in your fancy, going-out clothes watching Bakugou train in the on-campus gym, that is, until you got a call from Mina, which completely snapped you out of your daze.

To be honest, you could watch Bakugou train for hours, days even. The way his body moved with such determination, wow, your eyes were glued to him. Even from where you sat against the wall of the empty room, you could see his muscles flexing with every move - but you had planned this outing weeks ago and the girls would kill you if you ditched them to watch you boyfriend work out of all things. 

“Oh, yeah! I’m… on my way! I’ll see you at the entrance.” You quickly responded as you hung up. stood up and grabbed your small bag. You called out to Bakugou, who was so engrossed in fighting a punching-bag that he didn’t notice you walk over to him. 

“Hey, Katsuki, Mina just called, I gotta now,” you placed your hand on his shoulder as you tip-toed to give him a small kiss, “Don’t stay up too late training, okay?” You paused for a second, “And try not to get into too much trouble while I’m gone.” You teased with a small laugh. Bakugou rolled his eyes.

“Tch, whatever, loser.” He said, breaking eye contact, though there was no trace of malice in his voice.

***

The bar was never really your favorite place to be. It was sticky and smokey and loud and there was always a person who stood a little too close to you on the dance floor. Thankfully, you always managed to have a good and fun time and loosen up with a drink or two. And if all else fails, the bar you went to wasn’t so far from the dorms, around 15 minutes by car, so you knew if you really wanted to leave, it was no problem.

After a couple sessions of dancing with Mina and Hagakure, and probably too many rounds of shots with Jirou and, surprisingly, Yaomomo, you found yourself stumbling towards a nearby pool table, despite being surrounded by guys already engaging in a match.

“Hey! Can we, uhm, use this after you?” You slurred, probably sounding like roadlike. The guys took a second to exchange glances, then started laughing hysterically. You grew puzzled. 

“Oh,” One guy looked you up and down, “You know how to play?” You frowned. Even in your drunken state you could tell he was being condescending. You huffed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, I mean, you’re a girl?” He said, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “Girls don’t know how to play pool.”

“Oh yeah? Well then… I challenge you to a game!” You said as you crossed your arms over your chest and lifted your chin. You didn’t exactly think this plan through, seeing as though you weren’t really in any shape to play competitively and seriously, but drunk you was not about to take shit for a sexist stranger. The man quirked his eyebrow, an amused smirk dancing on his lips.

“Okay then,” He said with a chuckle as he handed you a pool cue, “Game on,” He paused and mocked looking pensive, “and good luck.” Something about his smile didn’t sit right with you. You scoffed. By then, all your friends were gathered around to watch. 

They knew how competitive you got, and while they should probably stop the showdown to prevent bad things from happening in the near future, it was good entertainment.

After a while of playing, only the 8-ball was left; it was your turn. Feeling very buzzed, you lined up your cue and tried focusing on one of the pockets, however it seemed as though your vision just dropped to -5 and you were looking at the Eiffel Tower from Spain. In simpler terms: you were fucked. 

As much as you knew you wouldn’t be able to win, your stubbornness didn’t allow you to back out or admit defeat. As you were about to hit the ball, you felt someone behind you slightly nudge your cue, causing the ball to roll off course and instead it hit one of the walls. You gasped and looked behind you and sure enough, there was your opponent, looking extremely satisfied with a smirk on his face. 

“Hey! You cheated, what the hell?!” 

“Hm… did I? Or was I just right about little girls not being able to play pool?” Anger bubbled within you.

“No!” You shouted, “Absolutely not, you so clearly cheated! You knocked my stick and… made the ball go… somewhere else!” The mix of alcohol and anger made it a bit hard for you to think straight, and trying to think honestly gave you a headache.

“Woah! Getting pretty feisty, huh. Try to manage your emotions more, then maybe people might start taking you seriously.” He and his friends laughed. You were so taken aback that all you could do was scoff as you looked at him with disgust.

Now, sober you would definitely not approve of what you were about to do. No, normally you were composed and knew how to handle yourself; drunk you had a different plan. You growled (you had apparently picked it up from being around Bakugou so much) as you stomped over and shoved him. 

Everyone around you oohed, Uraraka and Mina exchanged nervous glances. Uraraka was close enough to you to know when you were being reckless, and Mina, usually forced into being the mediator for your and Bakugou’s arguments, knew you wouldn’t back down from a fight.

As you were about to beat this guy up, you felt Mina grab your arm and pull you back to the rest of the girls. 

“Hey! What’re you doing?” You struggled to rip your arm away from Mina’s grip, but she was steady and, admittedly, more sober. All the girls collectively sighed, and it was Mina who spoke up at the end.

“y/n, you’re out of control. You can’t just beat a random guy up at a bar just because he cheated at pool! No matter how sexist that piece of trash is…” She seemed to mumble the last part, “Let’s just try to have a fun rest of the night, okay?” She gave you a small smile as she rested her hand on your shoulder. You huffed.

“No, he deserves it! Piece of… poop,” You crossed your arms childishly “You can’t stop me!” You stormed off back to the guy, intending to give him a piece of your mind while Uraraka followed with a worried look on her face as she attempted to diffuse the situation.

“Ugh, it’s no use. She won’t listen to us!” Jirou groaned. Deep down, the girls knew that the guy deserved it, but beating him up wouldn’t solve anything and it was definitely not the mature or right thing to do, they were training to be heroes, after all. The girls were all deep in thought when Hagakure spoke up.

“Let’s call Bakugou, y/n always listens to him! Or maybe he can just carry her home if she won’t!” The girls pondered this for a second. Momo sighed.

“Unfortunately, that might be our best option,” She glanced at Uraraka standing between you and the guy, “It’s not like we could manage to get her into an Uber or on the train, let alone carry her all the way home.” All the girls seemed to have come to an agreement. They decided Mina should call Bakugou, they hung out the most and she was the person who Bakugou would most likely pick up on. 

Mina pulled out her phone and looked for the contact, holding her phone up to her ear as it rang.

“Hey Bakugou… Uhm, so there’s been a situation.”

***

After what seemed like hours, but was actually 10 minutes of trying to calm you down and hold you off long enough for Bakugou to arrive, he finally did.

The girls were in the middle of holding you back, when, out of nowhere, a hand gripped your arm strongly and pulled you away. You heard the girls sigh in relief as you were about to chew out this guy as well, when you looked up and saw none other than your boyfriend starting at you with an intense look. You became nervous before growing confused: What was Katsuki doing here? It’s girls night… he’s not a girl is he? Your drunken mind was very frazzled.

“Wait a second… what’re you doing here?” You slurred. Bakugou rolled his eyes.

“Tch, dumbass. Come with me, we’re leaving.” You gasped with betrayal.

“Nooo, ‘Suki I don’t wanna go! I gotta… beat his ass.” you hiccuped, followed by a very intoxicated giggle. Bakugou scoffed.

“No. You’re too drunk right now, you’re gonna do something stupid,” He said as he pulled you out of the bar by your arm, “We’re leaving.” You whined, on the verge of a tantrum, but you knew Bakugou’s word was final. You let your shoulders slump as he guided you outside, Mina followed. 

“Thanks for getting here so quickly, Bakubro, it’s hard to handle y/n when she’s like this…” Mina said, rubbing her neck awkwardly. You shifted as Bakugou held up by the waist, your arm slung around his shoulders.

“Whatever, she makes stupid decisions when she’s drunk, it’s a pain in the ass to take care of her,” He was lying, of course, he loved taking care of you, drunk of not, this was mostly for appearances’ sake. 

Mina didn’t buy it though, she knew that even though it was always you taking care of Bakugou and calming him down everyday, Bakugou cared deeply for you and did the same. Internally, she found the switching of dynamics very endearing. 

“We’re leaving, I’m taking her home.” Bakugou said, suddenly. 

“Oh, okay. Let me just get the girls and we can go-”

“No, it’s fine, just… stay there, I guess.” Mina was baffled as Bakugou looked away, “Just, ugh! Whatever, I’ll take her home, you can stay here.” He blurted out. Mina was very taken aback.

“Oh… okay then! Thanks Bakubro!” She said as she pushed the door of the bar open and headed inside. Bakugou sighed, he was too soft when it came to you. He looked back at you, practically hanging off him, and fought the urge to sigh again.

Your hair was a mess and your outfit was rumpled, you would also groan occasionally, most definitely from a headache. Being able to be outside and get some fresh air really made you realize how out of it you were, Bakugou noticed as well as you swayed slightly. You looked up and caught Bakugou staring at you, you tilted your head in confusion.

“Wait… ‘Suki? Wha-” Bakugou narrowed his eyes in confusion, waiting for you to say something, “When did you get here? I was inside, and you were… not inside” You stared off into space for a second before coming to, “Woah…”

“You were being stupid, I had to come save your ass from being beat.” Bakugou replied, rolling his eyes, “C’mon, we’re going to the station.”

“Station?”

“Train station.” 

“Ohhh… okay.” You guys stayed quiet until you arrived at the steps of the train station, only minutes away from the bar; Bakugou thought it was better than waiting for an Uber.

“Give me your bag.” Bakugou held his hand out expectantly.

“What? No! You could… steal something!” You said, shaking your head childishly.

“y/n come on! We need to get your IC card to go on the train, then we can go home.” Bakugou said, as if explaining something to a child. You thought for a second.

“Fine, here!” You took your bag off your shoulder and almost shoved it into his hands. He rummaged around before pulling out your wallet. He sighed in relief when he saw your IC card, thankfully, you had it on you at all times. Bakugou pulled out his own and guided you to the gates. 

“Ugh, why wont this stupid thing work?!” You said, scanning your card in the completely wrong place and shoving at the turnstiles. 

“You put it here.” Bakugou guided your hand to the scanner and gave a nudge as an indicator to walk through. He gave an affectionate eye roll when he heard your little ‘woah’. As much as a dumbass you were when you were drunk, he loved being able to take care of you in return for all the time you took care of him.

The carriage was near-empty and, thankfully, silent. Bakugou knew what loudness did to your headaches, and he really didn’t want to experience it right then. Due to the carriage not being busy, you were able to get seats next to each other. 

After the train started, your head naturally fell onto Bakugou’s shoulder. It seemed as though the train ride was too short and too long all at once; the moonlight was illuminating your face and your eyes were closed. He could feel the soft rise and fall when you breathed. Things like this had happened many times before, but Bakugou could never really get over how peaceful and ethereal you looked, despite being very drunk. He felt as though he could stay in that moment forever. 

He looked in the opposite direction so you couldn’t see his blush.

A short walk later and you guys were at the dorms. You stumbled into your room with Bakugou supporting you. 

“Ugh!” You groaned as you collapsed face-down on your bed. Bakugou pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“No, y/n, you have to get ready for bed first before you sleep,” You responded with a groan as Bakugou lifted you up to sit upright, “Wait here.” 

A while later, Bakugou re entered the room with supplies in hand and was pleased to see you hadn’t moved, you were probably too tired to cause any more mayhem. He set the things down on the bed next to you and started to work. “Stay still, okay?” He said, you hummed and nodded slightly as a reply, already half asleep. 

Meanwhile, Bakugou took a cotton pad soaked in make-up remover and wiped it all over your face, then applied the several skincare products you had in what he hoped was the correct order and area. He had watched you enough times to have a basic understanding of your night routine, but still wasn’t quite sure of himself.

After doing your skincare, he walked over to your closet to pick out some comfy pyjamas for you. As he was filing through, he took note of the several hoodies he had previously dubbed missing, however he took one out anyway. He handed you the hoodie, expecting you to know to change. Instead, you made grabby hands at him and whined.

“‘Sukiii, I’m tired.” Bakugou sighed.

“I know, dummy, but you gotta change first, okay?” You grumbled but started to undress, before getting stuck in your clothes and Bakugou needing to help with what seemed like the 100th sigh of the evening.

Finally, you were dressed and Bakugou tucked you into bed, sitting on the covers next to you. He recounted the night, starting with getting a call from Mina saying you got into trouble and were able to fight someone, then running to the bar to save your ass and taking you home. He shook his head slightly.

“And you told me not to get in trouble,” He said, mostly to himself, he thought you were asleep, or just couldn’t understand him at this point.

“It’s not my fault! It was that guy, he was… doing stuff.” You puffed out your cheeks and furrowed your brows. Bakugou gave a small laugh and smile. 

“I know, dumbass.” When he looked back at you, he was met with your closed eyes. He leaned down and kissed your forehead, and before leaving the room, you had woken up just enough to hear him say goodnight.

“I love you, loser.”

bonus - the next day

mina: yo how’d u get to the bar so fast

bakugou: i ran wdym

mina: coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool

[klariwitch]

You’ll Love Me Again

No one ever really mentioned all the symptoms that comes with heartbreak. For one, your heart quite literally hurt. It burned. Not in the sorts that felt like heart burn, but more so like it was falling. The feeling of weightlessness. Yet, at the same time you felt as heavy as can be. From there its just full on misery. Y’know how people will say they feel like they just got hit by a truck? Yeah. Yeah its that.

“I’m uh, how do i put this without you going all vigilante mode on me? I’m into your sister,” Kon was grinning stupidly now.

Oh!

oh.

Tim felt his heart sink and then the nausea began to settle in.

“My? My what?” Tim shook his head in disbelief. Kon didn’t like him. He liked-

“Cass. Kon likes Cass, Steph,”

“Yknow when I see him next, you best believe I’m bringing that kryptonite ring, I’m gonna-“

“I feel sick to my fucking stomach,” the Robin sobbed over the phone. 

read the rest on ao3

The answering voice sighed. She still felt the shock of Tim crying on the phone with her, about a boy of all things. And, although the she wanted to slap the living shit out of the both of them, she also knew it was best to be calm and to let him cry on. “I know, I feel you Timmy, been there, done that,” she gave the phone a sad smile.

“I can’t even comprehend how that’s a thing. Seriously, Steph, how?!” His eyes seemed to bulge, one step closer to completely freaking out. He laid back on his bed, the phone still close to pressing against his ear, and salted tears running down his reddened cheeks.

He was a bat. A detective. Trained by old comics and the world’s greatest himself, batman. So, how on earth was he feeling so sunk by all these emotions? Why so much all this once? How was he to cry over the phone to Stephanie Brown over not just a boy, but the superboy. And, not just because he didn’t like him back—no, that wasn’t even able to be gotten out—but because he planned to ask out Tim’s own sister.

“Could my life really get anymore amusing, Steph? This is fucking humiliating,”

“Tim, I’m seriously so sorry this just all around sucks. Were you really planning on telling him, though?” The voice questioned over the device.

“Yes,” the boy cringed, “ I had a whole speech planned out to tell him tonight. Talk about bad timing,” his breath slowed. Without all the tears now, he felt tired. So completely drained for ever believing his best friend would ever see him much more than just that. Best friends.

“Why don’t you just spend some time away from him? Not exactly to cut off all contact, but more so just hanging out less? Maybe start making up excuses like Bruce needs you working on a case more, or that your parents have been home?” She suggested.

Actually, it wasn’t the worst idea, either. Kon would be okay with him being busy, and in the meantime he would take that step back and convince himself Kon wasn’t really the one.

“You’re right,”

“I am, aren’t I? Y’know it actually feels really nice to hear you say that for once, maybe just once more?” The girl pressed playfully.

He scoffed. “Yeah wouldn’t you like that?” The Robins teased one another, after all she could always make him feel better. “Alright, I think I have to call it a night. I’m gonna go throw up and then to bed.” He wasn’t lying, either. For whatever reason after speaking to Conner his head hurt like hell and his stomach carried what felt like a flu virus.

“Goodnight, Tim,”

“Night, Steph,”

               *****

“Well,”

“Well?”

“It’s been about a month,”

“Tim,”

“I think I’m actually okay this time. I don’t feel so achey around him anymore! I told you we met up after patrol tonight!” The boy exclaimed over the line, a smile captured on his lips.

“Okay, so, it went alright, then?” Steph asked. She cringed a bit. No way his feelings where just poof gone.

“Steph, it went great,” assured Tim. “I think we plan on doing the same thing tomorrow...it just nice to have my best friend back, yknow?”

“Tim, it’s really okay if you still need time, you know that, right?”

“Steph. I promise. I’m okay, my feelings for Kon are completely gone,”

*****

“You’re here on time” the boy in front of him called. A small chuckle arose, “did bats let you off early?”

“Yes, actually, how’d you know?” Tim smiled. He sat down right beside him on the edge of the rooftop. Ironically, sitting on top of a fifteen story building, next to a superhuman somehow managed to be the spot he always felt the safest. He assumed, it was all about the trust. All about a matter of not having to worry that Kon might decide to push him overboard unexpectedly, or even if the building suddenly gave out. The only fault there was, why did he still have that trust for him? Admittedly, Kon had never exactly tried to send him soaring off a rooftop, but wasn’t heart break a close equivalent?

“Tim?” The familiar hand waved in his face. Tim carefully swatted it away.

“What?”

“I asked you how your day was?”

“Oh,” Tim nodded. He even looked down as if his fingers might curate him the perfect move. Spoiler alert: they did not. “It was…well, I mean kind of slow? Patrol and all that,” the last bit came out as a mutter. Why was he there, again? Honestly, he couldn’t even look at him now. He had thought he was fine, really he did, but what exactly did fine mean? Ignorance, in this case.

The only problem was, he just couldn’t let go. In movies and literature it was always so much easier, because it just always works out for them. They have a promised happy ending. For Tim, none of that was a guarantee.

It was like..insurance. insurance that he did not have. Because, even when the character didn’t end up with their love, they still found something great—like a new person or happiness. And now, all happiness was looking like without Kon was a cold bottle of chardonnay stolen from his mother’s wine cabinet.

“Are you okay?” Kon asked then. His face carried worry and all kinds of fear.

Shit

shit

‘Don’t make me lie to you’ The shorter boy thought. He didn’t want to, it honestly wasn’t something he could find the energy for anymore. “I, uh,” he felt his phone vibrate under his thigh. He didn’t answer it, it would only be Steph wanting to know what was happening.

“What is it, Rob? Spit it out,” the meta pushed, a cheerful smile forming his face.

“I…don’t think I can?” Answered Tim.

“Huh, well, why not? Its okay, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

The raven haired boy just stared at him, mouth split open stupidly. “Right! Right. Yes, I know that,” he nodded.

“So?”

“Right…” he bit his lip till blood arose and the feeling of confidence came beside it. “Could I, show you, instead?” He requested.

“Sure? I mean, yeah. Of course you can, anything that helps,” Kon nodded willingly.  

Was he really going to do that? Where was some sort of memory wiper when you needed it? He’d do anything to redo the last ten minutes.

He sighed. Was he really about to do this? In all fairness, he had been wanting to for some time. Okay, he’d do it. Okay. Maybe not? “Y’know what?” Tim turned. they were closer than he had thought they were. No going back now, right? He laughed sickly, “fuck it.” Evenly, his face melted to a smile as he leaned him, pressing his lips ever so gently against Kon’s.

He couldn’t believe it. He was kissing Kon. His best friend. The boy who unknowingly broke his heart just months ago. This was...unbelievable. It always seemed like it was so incredibly out of reach and get here he was now, kissing him. Did that mean Kon really did like-

“Woah,” and just like that he was pushed away. He’d have to fight through the tears at an arms length distance now. “Hey, sorry, Tim I’m flattered, really, it’s just-“

“Okay, look, I probably should have waited, I just, I don’t know? Ever since you were talking about Cass I just couldn’t get you off my mind, and that’s why I stayed away for so long. Look, most people can just watch, too Kon. Most can just love from afar and wait. Im sorry, but I can’t do that. Im not that person, okay? I’m selfish. So selfish. I hate that I am and i’m sorry, but I can’t just watch, okay? I can’t,” Tim heaved a breath. He wanted to get it all out so bad and now he had spoiled the vibe. “Im sorry to burst your perfect little bubble, I just fucking can’t. Now I see it was a mistake too, because i thought you liked me back. I really did,” his lip bled. Biting too hard again? “You just don’t get it, okay? We’re supposed to be together. Everyone thinks so. We’re best friends, Kon. We’re the beautiful love story. Look, I’ve been telling myself that forever, and you’re just supposed to feel the same,” he shrugged. Just as if it was no big deal.

Kon groaned. He considered for a moment to grab ok to his hands but for obvious reasons that wasn’t exactly appropriate. “Tim. Hey, you don’t have to apologize. Im glad you told me. To be honest, I kind of like you too,”

“Wait, really?” Tim smiled, searching the meta’s face for any truth.

“What? Are you even listening to me? Tim, I’m sorry but I can’t be apart of your little fantasy..” It was clear it pained his friend to say al this. “We’re not some sort of destined couple or whatever you think we are. It just doesn’t work that way, okay?”

Oh. So, not as he expected.

Right

“Well, why not?” The Robin urged, hurt growing in his blue eyes.

“I’m dating Cass,” breathed Kon. “Look, we were going to tell you tomorrow but then all of this happened...I’m sorry, I should have told you,”

Ouch. Fuck. Again?

“Right,” was all he could mutter. “I’m uh. I’m sorry, Kon,” he had to leave. Had to get out of there fire his eyelids broke like dams and he had to muffle his own screams. “I think I’m going to head out, actually..goodnight, Kon,” Tim sighed. He walked off then, taking deep breaths to help ignore the boy calling his name behind him. He could catch him if he wanted to. Easily. Obviously he didn’t want to. Kon loved Cass...not Tim.

****

“I kissed him,”

“You what?!” The voice over the phone sounded livid.

“Yeah, yeah I know stupid, right?” Tim sighed. He sat on his bed, holding a chilled glass of chardonnay, just as he had promised himself.

“Im guessing it didn’t go so well?”

He could hear her cringe over the phone. Tim didn’t respond. Instead, he simply sipped his drink: dry. This one was eruopean as were most of the others, rolled in oak barrels and some sort of fruit. It was like drinking Kon’s scent. Whatever cheap cologne he decided to douce himself in every morning some how crawled its way into his head to torture him. He set the glass down.

“Im sorry, Tim, you really-”

“Its okay, Steph, really,” insisted Tim, having cut her off.

“Is it?” The girl asked genuinely.

“Yes. I’ve decided I cannot change it, so yes, its fine,”

“Wow. Okay. Thats, that’s actually very mature of you,”

The robin nodded, although obviously not visible.

“Goodnight, Steph,” he called into the phone.

“Goodnight, Tim,” she huffed back, right before leaving him in inconsiderable silence.

The boy picked up the wine glass again. He stared deeply into the few bubbled and cringed with the inhale of smoke and aged French oak.

“You’re really messing with my mind, huh, Conner Kent?”

Tim glanced around. His room was gloomy. sad. Dimmed. He wished for Kon to come light it up a bit, yet he didn’t. They’d be apart for now, but he’d turn around eventually. He would get his fantasy.

[tigerdrop]

Something in me tells me I shouldn't enable you to write horny shit, but let's be honest, we want to see it. I'm rather curious of how you're gonna process that scene and make it horny, literally been wondering since I first saw it. I feel you're gonna give me another disease and I don't know how to feel about it.

god ok this is like string of consciousness shit b/c my brain is spinning at 5000 rpm and you know whats gonna be under this readmore so dont bitch at me about it. dont look at this dont read this im sorry

like not to be a freak or anything but also the bit where benreys keeping him stuck in the stall. that had horny energies to me

makes it so that benrey shows up just like half a minute earlier and gordons bladder-shy so he cant actually fuckin finish the job while benreys in there........dudes been waiting for a month okay hes gonna have a hard time 

i really do want this bitch to call gordon a dirty lil boy and make fun of him for the mess he made but for . you know. that reason. THE reason

want him to be like "clumsy, arentcha" when gordons struggling to undo his HEV suit b/c his hands are shaking so bad from the desperation.......pressing gordon up against a stall to do it for him while hes begging benrey to hurry up, its his fucking fault that gordons like this 

utterly obsessed with his suit starting to suck him off when hes in situations like this b/c it detects the elevated adrenaline and heartbeat and him getting a little hard from being pushed around like this and it kicks in automatically

especially b/c it makes it that much harder for a dude to relieve himself......its agonizing

"some kinda science......genius.......you are. cant even get this thing off yourself.......maybe you shoulda gone to........piss school. for idiots" 

cue high pitched, nervous, horny laughter like what the fuck is he saying. IM GOING INSANE THINKING ABOUT ALL THE NERVOUS GIDDY LAUGHTER IN THIS SCENE

telling gordon not to look and making him go stand in the corner but hes too fucking stupid to just go into the stall and take care of business

doesnt even think about it b/c his hearts pounding so much from benrey showing up for the first time in ages just to bully him in a fucking theatre bathroom.......and he likes it whats his problem

gordon just like "okay, fine! ill just, take care of business in here" once benrey bullies him to go into the stall........and benreys like, haha, what? and opens the door just to fuck with him.....and when gordon is like "oh my GOD fine fine fine ill get out" benrey shuts the door on him again and hes so caught up in playfighting with benrey by trying to open the door and having it be shut in his face again he forgets that he can just take a piss now if benreys trying to hold the door closed

IM GOING INSANE. THE PLAYFIGHTING. IT WAS SO MUCH

JUST HAVING SOME GIGGLES WITH THE GUY I INSIST IS MY ENEMY WHILE WERE TALKING ABOUT PISS IN THE BATHROOM 

i just auggufhughfugh i cant get over all the GIGGLING.......like......both of them knowing What This Is and gordon still tittering like a fucking schoolgirl the whole time b/c hes nervous but its like a giddy nervousness. he likes being fucked with

and like......the way gordon goes along with everything benrey says so easily.......it feels like. it feels like a Kink Scene. like they Discussed it

thinking about. benrey really taking his time undoing those latches. making gordon squirm and bitch at him to go faster. "maybe you should, uh, ask nicely, huh? like a good boy?" and gordon has to wrench his eyes shut from how hot that gets him. and thats what gets him to finally say "please hurry up benrey oh my god" and when benrey finally gets him undone he just.......stands there. watching. doesnt pull off the codpiece or anything, just leaves it like that. and gordons like "uh okay can i. can i go now please" benreys just like "i dunno man......can you? you really gonna show me your meat like that? thats nasty" but hes grinning the whole time he says it

and tl;dr he gets gordon to take it off right there and show off his dick (which is, uhh, painfully hard from all the sucking-off his suits been doing) and gordons like "jesus christ ok you got to see my dick and you got to jerk me around. what more do you want" and benrey. touches it. grabs it in his hand. and just casually admits "i wanna see you piss yourself man" outright and gordon nearly passes out b/c half his blood is going to his face and half to his dick and none of its left in his brain

cue more of that high-pitched nervous laughter b/c haha, what

"im-- im not gonna do that, man, thats-- thats gross. and especially not when youre-- when youve got your hand on my dick, jesus, theres like 6 urinals in here you can just-- you can just watch if you wanna be fucking weird" and benrey just shrugs and is like "yeah i know thats kind of the point" WRT touching gordons dick right now

the struggle between "liking to do what benrey tells him to do" and "feeling humiliated at the thought of not just pissing himself in a perfectly good public restroom, but doing so while benreys grabbing his dick and calling him a nasty little boy and starting to stroke him off" making gordon fucking combust 

and eventually gordon slams his head back against the stall wall and is like, "fucking, okay, jesus, but i cant just-- i cant just do this shit on command, okay, i dont know" b/c he had never envisioned that it would come to this and the way benreys talking to him right now makes it a hell of a lot easier for him to just.......follow benreys lead and do what he says

benreys like "i got time bro. you might wanna hurry up tho, somebody could walk in here, like, whenever. you really want tommy to see you like this? kinda sick, man" and gordon makes a desperate sound b/c no he fucking does not and the humiliation is so real that its turning him beet red 

so. you know. you end up with. gordon actually trying really hard to piss himself. benreys encouraging him and bullying him at the same time and he really wants to do what benrey says right now

but hes struggling against both his boner and his bladder-shyness so its not just like he can instantly make it happen......so benrey maybe.......slides his other hand up under the HEV suit. presses down right at the base of his stomach

and gordon whimpers as thats just the impetus he needed to finally let go......and it takes so fucking long even though hes not trying to hold it in in the slightest......and thats when benrey finally calls him a dirty lil boy and tells him to look at the mess he made. stroking him off even more while he does it

i just. i really want gordon to actually be trying to piss himself for once b/c benrey asks him to,

OKAY. BYE. BYE. BYE. I HAVE TO GO

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[whence-the-woody]

Finale commentary under the cut

So I wanted to kind of liveblog as I was watching but held back so these are my remembered reactions/second watch reactions

Bummed there was no song recap but quickly figured itd play at the end

PUPPY. Best part of the ep, lbr, Dean was so cute with him

Theyre really doing a cheesey life montage huh - still not clear whether monsters are a thing in this new world?

I was watching the mins tick by during this first montage like OKAY we get it, cheesey happy home life, move along. There was only 40 mins left of the whole show like get on with it, it went way too long 

We definately needed to restablished that Sam is neat while Dean is messy. Totally necessary to spend time on that. Also didnt Dean get houseproud when they moved into the bunker?? What happened to that?

OMG get on with it

Then becomes apparent that hunting is still a thing. Which if so what was the point of showing then doing fucking laundry and dishes while “Ordinary life” plays - if its not just an ordinary life?

At this point i thought it might go the route of them being listless without hunting as a job but then murder scene so I guess not

This whole pie sequence is stupid and a waste of time, we all know it

Dean being a cold, heartless bitch about everyone being dead. Aces. Not unexpected but still just great. How dare you be so happy about pie fuck you dude. 

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER EILEEN

Pie is the face is not funny my dudes come the fuck on

I started skipping through during the murder scene. I was bored. Like, I dont care about tension building to the murder of a family we dont fucking know. Ive always skipped these scenes, what is the damn point. Its not scary or interesting. 

GET ON WITH IT

Same old FBI bullshit. Nice to see the journal again I guess. But like, this is STILL what we’re doing? In the very last ep? Same old, different day, just like 15 years ago. Really?

Singer and Kripke. Subtle. 

I skipped through the interrogation too. I dont find the scary brother act cool or entertaining 

15 mins in and nothing has happened

Theyre trying so hard to give Dean jokes and nothing is landing, its so cringe just stop

The way the little clown faces pop up - if that supposed to be scary? Really? Its all just so silly rn

Watching it again I realise just how easy this hunt is. The answer is in the journal. They find the exact family. They find the exact barn. The kids are just stood in a cupboard. This is what takes Dean out, really? Its not even a normal hunt, its a way too fucking easy one. 

I do not remember this chick or what ep she was in, maybe theres some parallell or foreshadowing by bringing her back but if there is I dont get it

Bottom line if youre gonna bring people back WHY THE FUCK THIS RANDOM GIRL

I knew so fast he was gonna go out like that. Hanging from a fucking nail

I kept saying out loud not like this, no way, this is so stupid, its so stupid omg

I paused and tried to talk myself into putting aside how stupid and awkward it was for him to be doing this scene hanging off a pole and just try to invest in the emotion of the speech. Which I achieved at times

but why was is so awkward tho?? Just the way hes stood pressed against it is fucking weird. Also 1000% Sam couldve gotten help and he wouldve been FINE. It took so long for them to talk, an ambulance couldve been there before they were done, there was no need for this

Okay the speech did make me cry once I pep talked myself into being invested. The reference to being scared Sam would reject him, the I love you so much, Sam saying dont leave me, the stay with me and tell me its okay - all those moments got me and I did cry. I appreciated the family business line. I liked Jensen telling Jared he always keeps fighting, that was a nice reference. 

BUT there were also those moments that made me scoff, roll my eyes or laugh. The whole “always you and me” bullshit especially. The second I knew he was going to say I’ll be in your heart I yelled at them to no do it, I hate that cheesey move, then literally was like “oh my god, he did it”. It WAS NOT always going to end like this - so much of the last 15 years was proving him wrong about that. This is all just so wrong, it is not good. 

Jensen and Jared did a good job with what they were given in this scene but my god

The audacity of the Cas erasure- always you and me. FUCK YOU. 

I laughed out loud when his last shot was a One Perfect Tear. I was literally like “Oh wow they did that”

DEAN DESERVED A BETTER DEATH

It also kinda loses all impact when you see him like 2 mins later

MIRACLE IS THE REAL MVP ILY

Theyre really doing another montage. Really. Like we get it, hes sad, we didnt need the toast to understand that

Omg Miracle by his side. The best of bois. 

Looking around his room like beer and guns was all dean was. Sure. Aces. 

I choose to believe Bon Jovi was a ref to before Dean went to hell

If Donna is back why isnt anyone else?!?

Oh Jared you look so old bby. Go home. He looks older there then later in the ridiculous make up

Why is that shot made to look like hes leaving the bunker forever?? Like that makes no sense

Bobby greeting him is nice and all BUT IT SHOULDVE BEEN CAS

Also they are 1000% doing the show don’t tell by having Bobby just sit and explain everything. SO FUCKING LAZY

Cas has been out of the empty, helping rebuild heaven. Okay, fine. Even Dean’s reaction to hearing that was fine. BUT YOU ASK WHERE YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND IS AND GO SEE HIM. WHO IS THIS VERSION OF DEAN WTF

I know people are upset Cas is back working in heaven but I dont think its anything like before. It sounds like he helped fixed things then got his own heaven. Also he’s God’s Dad, hes not serving God, hes teaching him. I know human Cas done right is what we wanted but I dont hate this for him. BUT WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT. 

Why is a memory of being a kid with his Dad what Dean is reminiscing on. They have literally reverted him back to s1. There are so many memories dean should be thinking about in fucking heaven

Hes going for a drive

Hes going for a motherfucking drive

In the car he was just in

WHY THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE HE HASNT SEEN BABY IN YEARS WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Hes going to drive around doing nothing until Sam gets there are you fucking kidding me. Not going to see any of his family from the last 15 years, just driving. Absolute horseshit. 

This is the moment where you realise that this episode has changed NOTHING. This is the same ending as the last ep except theyre in heaven not on earth

ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING

Okay so they skip over how Sam went from going on a hunt to walking with a toddler. OMG how unsubtle that they have literally just labelled the child Dean in big yellow letters. I couldnt help but laugh, how fucking stupid. 

I did get a bit teary when the music started I’ll be honest. But mostly through the whole montage (ANOTHER ONE) I was saying to myself This is so fucking stupid. omg this is dumb, what the fuck is this, so stupid.

They literally did a montage so long they had to play the song twice. Im just done at this point wow. 

The old man make up is so bad I just laughed. The only pictures being of the 4 of them, reinforcing the Winchester only bullshit, great. Not even pics of this new random family Sam’s got. The painfully cliche Dad moments for Sam, again so bad its funny. Omg the hand on the head of this random kid, this is so ridiculous. Old man sam in his bad wig trying so hard to move like hes old and crying in the impala. Wtf is happening, this is SO STUPID 

I thought theyd cast a more attractive son I’ll be honest. So he has the tattoo - are they a hunting family? Because that would go against both s1 Sam they’ve tried to go back to and the s15 Sam they build up to for all those years

I know they were going for an emotional parallel with that “you can go now” but this random man saying it to Sam in that make up, with the music cue lined up right there - its just funny coz its so dumb im sorry

I cant believe they actually played another different version, I’ll never get over that

Theres alot of things I’ll never get over

Is this bridge supposed to mean something? They shouldve picked a setting that meant something

I know theyre trying so hard to make Dean look happy and peaceful to convince us its a good ending but sis no

I laughed out loud when Dean turned around - WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT SAM?

Really, they have nothing to say? No questions, no convo? They just have cheesey smiles and look over the water? This is so wrapped up in a fucking bow trying to force us to feel good my god

The cut almost immediately to them talking to the camera, still in character getup, was so cringe I yelled and turned it off

And they pan out to literally none of the people we want to see . Great, Good. 

LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT 

[eccentriccowboy]

Assassin // pt. 4// FINALE

Synopsis: Y/N and Luke battle to the death for the title of Assassin. (not actually but)

Pairing: Slow burn(not for long bitches hehe) bestfriend!Luke x reader

Warnings: None besides swearing my lack of proofreading. i forgot to add swearing to pt. 3′s warnings so i apologize to all you 6-year-olds on tumblr who weren’t prepared for me to drop an f-bomb.

But seriously im sorry to the people who aren’t comfortable with swears.

also thank you to the people that sent me such supporting messages, getting me through this. I love you..

Word Count: 2.6 k

*****

You woke to the heavy weight of Luke’s arm resting over your waist. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but you definitely weren’t expecting it, nor the proximity between you two, his chest practically touching your back.

You tried to inch forward, gaining space between you and Luke, but his grip on your waist suddenly tightened, pulling you closer to his chest.

“Mhmm, stop moving,” he mumbled, nuzzling his face into the back of your neck. You didn’t know what to do. Of course you’ve slept in the same bed as Luke before, you’ve grown up with him. But not since this whole “I have feelings for you and I’m beginning to get the feeling you do too” fiasco began.

Instead, you turned over in his bed, now facing him. “Luke,” you whispered. “I have to get going,” you lied. You had nowhere to be, and although you had practically dreamed for months now of waking up next to Luke to morning cuddles, now that it was happening it didn’t seem right. Probably because you two were still just “friends”.

“Mhmm, no you don’t. Stay and cuddle. I’m kinda cold,” he murmured, a loud yawn escaping his lips, before pulling you closer to his chest. He dragged his nose along your jawline; and you weren’t sure if it was his yawn that reminded you of how tired you still were, or the cold tip of his nose that told you it was cold outside and you best bundle up, or the relief of finally being close to him that made you stay.

*****

Luke woke up and began to panic. There was a girl in his bed. Not only that, that girl was you. For months on end he’s practically dreamed of waking up to you beside him, but there was a little problem. He may have gotten a little too excited about waking up to you, and now this little problem wasn’t so little.

Luke had a fucking boner. Here he was, sleeping in a bed with one of his closest friends, who has done nothing sexual to provoke him, and yet he was turned on.

Luke tried to lower his heart beat and calm down, in fear of it waking you as your head was placed on his chest. After taking a few deep breaths, Luke tried to slowly inch away from your touch, trying his best not to wake you. But to no avail, as your eyes opened to find Luke trying to slither out from under you.

“Where do you think you’re going?” you questioned, sleep still upon you.

“Uh, I’m gonna go make breakfast.” Luke stated, coming up with the first idea that came to his mind. He hoped you would fall for it, and let him leave to uh, deal with his situation.

But you were not having it. “Nooooo, stay. Like you said earlier, it’s cold outside of these blankets,” you tried to convince him, slinging your arm against his chest to keep him where he was.

But he shook his head and tried to move again. You thought it would be funny to gently tackle him, draping your body over his before he could get out of bed. Right once you did this, though, Luke froze.

“No, Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, no, get off me,” Luke quickly pleaded. But it was too late, you had already felt his bulge press against your lower half, your face immediately reddening.

Luke gently pushed you off of him and stood up, while you sat up straight. “Um, I can explain,” Luke began to say.

“No, no, it’s fine. Really, it’s natural. Right?” You stuttered, a blush still prominent on both of your cheeks.

“Well, no, but like-”

“It’s fine. Um, I’m gonna get going,” you stated, crawling out of bed and walking quickly past Luke, avoiding eye contact.

“No, no, Y/N. I just-”

“Luke really it’s good, we’re good, I just kinda wanna leave before this can get any more awkward,” you said, not even turning around to look at him before you had grabbed your shoes and clothes from yesterday and was out the door.

*****

“Hey Y/N, Um, this is gonna be complicated. Because I know things are kinda awkward between us right now. And that’s all mine and my stupid man brain’s fault. But I really wanna speak to you. But of course we still have the game going on, so I’m not really sure how we can do that. So just, um, call be back.”

You listened to Luke’s voicemail, shaking your head as you remembered the awkwardness that was this past morning.

To be honest you don’t know what to think anymore. You were just done with this whole shit between you and Luke. One moment you want to kiss him on the cheek, but then your feelings bubble up and you get frustrated that you aren’t together and you feel like punching something, preferably Luke´s face.

God, you’ve got it bad for him. But does a boner really mean he likes you? Probably not. It probably just means he still has the hormones of a 12-year-old boy. And that’s fine and all you guess, just it really messes with your head.

You couldn’t not face him, though. He’s one of your best friends, and you couldn’t possibly imagine your life without him.

But, like Luke said, you’ve still got the game going on. So clearly, he hasn’t forgotten, but neither have you.

You decide to sit on it. Avoiding problems is much easier than dealing with them, the devil of your subconscious reasons. Yes, but, Luke and I both need to talk. Without the game. Without the boys. Just the two of us. We both deserve that much. I know our relationship hasn’t been the same for a while, and I know he can feel it, too. So no matter how it ends, I do have to talk to him, the rational side of you explains. Yes, but, that doesn’t mean right now, the devil said. You quickly agreed with that side of you, taking the easy way out of things for now and getting ready for bed.

*****

Your hands twisted the hair at the nape of his neck, your fingers scratching his scalp lightly. His hands travelled from the side of your hips to your waist, becoming more comfortable with himself in the kiss. You broke the kiss, a smile falling upon your lips as your heart bubbled up in realization of what you have done. Your smile, contagious, one finding its way onto Luke’s lips, before being replaced with yours once more for a quick peck.

Suddenly, a loud ringing sounded out beside you, waking you up for your dream. You sighed in frustration, more at yourself for having such a dream than at the phone for waking you up. You reached over to grab your phone, Luke’s contact appearing on the phone. You looked to see it was three am, and in fear of it being an emergency, answered it.

“Luke?” you questioned. “What are you doing at this time of night?”

“Y/N” he slured. “Mm, I’m uh, mm,” sounding like he was on the brink of falling asleep.

“You’re what? Are you drunk?”

“Severely,” he giggled.

“Luke, oh my god. Just go back to sleep.” You rolled your eyes.

“Nooo,” he groaned. “Come to the park.”

That certainly got your attention.

“Wait, what?”

“Come to the park,” he repeated. “I’m here,” he said slowly, a yawn escaping afterwards.

“Oh my god, why are you at the park, Luke?” you asked, exasperated.

“Mmm,” he murmured. “I, mmm, got stuck.”

“What the hell, Luke?” you exclaimed, beginning to panic. “What do you mean?”

“Mmm, I uh, got stuck,” he slurred, his eyes closing, drifting in and out of consciousness.

“Alright, Luke,” you said. “Stay there. I’m on my way. Keep me on the phone,” but it was too late. Luke has ended the call, falling asleep god knows where.

You rushed out of the door, with only your phone, keys, and a jacket in hand. You continued to try and get a hold of Luke on your way down to the parking garage, but it was no use, he was knocked out cold somewhere, drunk and vulnerable.

While you avoided problems, Luke drowned them.

You should have known that whatever you felt after yesterday morning affected him, too. And after not responding to him, he would have turned to his coping mechanism like you did, except his included alcohol.

Breathing became hard, your worry for your best friend getting the best of you. He was unconscious, defenseless to any weirdo that happened to walk in a park at 3 am. You couldn’t possibly imagine your life without him.

You drove to the only park you would think Luke would go to, the one where you had first met him in the fifth grade. It was the only park in town the two of you had ever been to, really. And it was the closest to his apartment and you couldn’t think Drunk Luke would get too far.

You pulled over in front of the gate, shutting off the engine and exiting the car. You began to walk the path that was paved, your keys in your hands as defense. You used your phone as a flashlight, even though it wasn’t that dark.

Suddenly, a sound came from your left. You jumped to the side, only to be met with the flashing eyes of a racoon. You sped up your pace, trying to calm your heart beat.

You rounded a corner, your eyes widening at the scene before you. There was Luke, lying on the ground with his arm stuck in the gate, looking as healthy and safe as a drunk, unconscious man could.

You rushed to his side, afraid to touch him in case of hurting him more. His arm was twisted in a painful angle. You tried to push back the tears streaming down your face, but you couldn’t help it as you were filled up with so much relief that Luke was okay.

You gasped, trying to stifle the tears once more, drawing Luke back to consciousness. He opened his eyes slowly, but he seemed to sober up immediately when he saw you, tears rushing down your face.

You saw his eyes open and you wiped away your tears with your jacket sleeve. He tried to move to console you, but he yelped when he tried to move his arm.

“Oh, God, Luke,” you yelped, “Are you alright?”

Luke’s look at you for a few moments, then blinked.

“Yea, I, uh, I think so,” he said, still recovering from the many drinks he had hours earlier, instead falling into the beginnings of a hangover.

“What the hell were you doing” you scolded slightly. Still afraid to touch him, you sat down on the cement beside him, waiting for him to ask for help.

“Um, I think I was trying to pick the flowers on the other side,” He looked over at the flowers, that honestly weren’t too pleasing to the eye, looking as if they were on the verge of death. “I clearly failed,”

You rubbed your hands across your face, all the worry you had felt turning into disbelief, so much emotion draining you.

“Oh God, Luke. Why? Just why?” you questioned, almost chuckling at the situation.

Luke closed his eyes. “I was tryna get them for you,” he mumbled. Your heart jumped at his words. “I think drunk me was trying to apologize for being a dick but it didn’t work out.”

You let out a laugh, still a bit shaky. “I still haven’t heard an apology,” you raised your eyebrows.

Luke looked up at you for a few seconds, his eyes staring deep into yours, before beginning to speak. “I’m sorry, I’m stupid, we both know that,” he began. You could tell the alcohol still hadn’t worn off completely, his speech quickening and blurring together almost unintelligible.

“I’m sorry for making you worry about me, I shouldn’t have started drinking that early. But I was afraid you hated me and that I ruined our friendship from getting a fucking boner and I was upset at myself that I ruined my chances with you and I just want you in my life and I’m sorry, damnit Y/N” Luke said, exasperated. He clearly was not in charge of his words nor his emotions at the moment, his face red from his outburst, in combination with the cold and the alcohol.

You blinked, unsure of what to say. You felt your cheeks heat up, and Luke’s eye widened when he realized just what he had said.

“Shit, did I just make it worse?” Luke looked the other way, in fear of what you might say.

“What are you trying to tell me, Luke?” you said, needing reassurance that what you just heard was really what he meant.

“I’m trying to tell you I’m in love with you, Y/N” Luke blew out a breath, finally meeting your eyes. “And I have been for a while.”

You sat still for a couple of seconds, somehow in disbelief. There’s been something between you and Luke for a while now, but hearing it out loud that he not only likes you, but loves you, saying it outloud for all of the world to hear, making it real, just didn’t seem possible.

Luke sat there, his arm still twisted. But he couldn’t feel it anymore, the pain subsiding as he was too focused on your next moves.

Instead of saying anything, you placed your two cold hands onto his warm cheeks and leaned in, connecting your lips with his. His arm, the one that wasn’t tangled up in a fence, wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer. Your body heated up instantly, you wished the kiss could go on forever. But Luke broke the kiss, his mouth forming into a huge smile, as he laughed at what you to did.

You couldn’t help but laugh with him, all the worry and stress you had felt for so long vanishing, like a weight lifted off your shoulders, everything in life falling into place with just a simple smile.

You moved to straddle his waist and finally untwist his hand from the gate, but he suddenly stopped you.

“Wait, wait, wait.” He held you back, then began to stretch out his twisted arm gently.

“What are you doing, I’m trying to kiss you,” you said bluntly, a smile still on your face.

He plucked a few of the flowers from the bushes. “Okay, now help me,” he chuckled.

You gently pulled his elbow back, trying to not scratch or injure him more. When his arm was finally safe and out of the gate, he presented the flowers to you.

“As a congratulations,” he said. When he saw your eyebrows furrow, he continued. “You won Assassin,”

It took a few moments for you it to sink in, when you placed your hands on his cheeks, you won the game. You outburst in laughter, the night only getting better, euphoria overtaking you.

You leaned in to kiss him again, trying to wipe the smile off your face and grabbing the dying flowers from his hand and throwing them to the ground next to you. “I love you, too.”

*****

thanks for reading!! sorry it took so long!! ahh!!

taglist for Assassin: @cashtonspicelatte @curlious

@wrappedaroundcal @teenswithbrokensmiles @sassy-asht0n @northangerpark

@summertime-acoustic @yasminesflowers @oh-annaa @that1girlmary @teehxk

@may-bereblog @madxhttr22

[im-tops-bottom]

"cuz I'm with you until the end of the line"

Tony whispers knowing the exact line because it had been a constant thing in all the Captain America comics he had read growing up. That used to be his favorite phrase until now.

"Tony don't! It - it's not like that"

Bucky folds his arms and glares at Steve.

"then how is it Stevie?"

Zemo chuckles in his room that he locked himself in knowing he would be safe from getting hurt because not even a super soldier can break the door or walls surrounding it. He looks directly at Steve and grins.

"yeah Stevie, how is it?"

Steve growls at Zemo but stops as Tony whimpers. He sees that Tony is hugging himself and his head is slowly bowing. Steve is just about to walk up to him but Zemo opens his mouth.

"oh you think all those videos were bad. Wait until you see this one"

Everyone stares at the monitor as a video of Steve and Natasha in a hydra base plays. They are watching a video that

"Tony have you ever wondered what really happened to your parents because here comes the good part."

Tony squints and chokes as he sees on the monitor that they are watching that Bucky has shown up. Tears fall as he watches the murder of his parents. His heart shatters as he hears Natasha ask Steve if they should tell Tony and Steve says no because he wanted to protect Bucky from getting hurt.

After the video stops everyone looks at Tony. Zemo is grinning because he's about to do real big damage to the Avengers leaders, Bucky looks guilty and heartbroken and Steve looks like the earth should just swallow him up even though he thinks he did the right thing.

"Tony you have to believe me. It wasn't him. You saw what they did to him. He was brainwashed."

"and all this time I thought Howard being drunk was the cause."

"Tony"

"when you said you had a dark side, when we had that conversation at Clint's place i Jesus I thought....god Steve and to think i gave myself over to you that night like an idiot. You were the first guy I had ever let top me, do that to me. I bared all my secrets and scars to you"

"Tony please listen, I love you. None of this has to change a thing"

"but it has Rogers. If you had just told me then I wouldn't have been as pissed off as I currently am now"

"if I told you, you would have hurt Bucky"

"you think that I am that much of an asshole to hurt your precious Bucky? You think so little of me that I would act that way. You say that you love me but I don't think you really do"

Tony looked like a kicked puppy as he looks over at Steve.

"so was I"

"Tony I'm not going to take back what i had done. I'm also not going to leave you in this state. Why don't we go home and have a proper conversation."

"I don't care what you want. He killed my mum. I may forgive him in time but I'm never gonna forgive you"

Steve was about to say something but gets sent flying back as repulsor beam hits him. He sits up as Tony leaves the room. He's about to stand but stares up in shock as he gets pushed and held down by an unimpressed

"Bucky?"

"all that time in the 40s where we went out on secret dates, all the love we made, all that shit we went through back then, all the running around trying to save me an bring me home! We did all that shit just so you can call me a "friend" in front of Howard's son?

"but Bucky"

"don't 'but bucky' me punk. You are a lying, manipulating coward. You don't deserve me. Hell! You don't deserve Tony. You are lucky he didn't kick both our asses because I would have let him. Now I'm gonna walk out there and make sure that fella is alright because neither of you had noticed that"

Bucky points towards an empty room with the door wide open

"Zemo had left. Lucky i sent a" phone goes off "message to the Wakandan prince who was so hell-bent on killing me and he has tracked down zemo. He says he saw a crying and pissed off genius pacing back and forth about super soldier idiots outside the quinjet. Im gonna go and do the one thing you should have done a long time ago"

"be honest with him and set things straight"

"damn right. God you are so lucky my feelings for you had returned during BARF because I would have killed you punk"

"you still love me?"

"unfortunately yes which doesn't help you at all. You have two pissed off people who love you that currently don't wanna talk to you. God Stevie you never changed did you? Always protecting me amd doing what you think is right. Well I better head out now before the punk tries to drown himself and talk him out of his stupidity"

"what about me?"

"because everything is about you and what you want. You can take the quinjet home and sort your shit out. None of us want half assed apologies, I'm sure Tony feels the same way. Once all parties have calmed the fuck down then we can clear the air and have a civilized talk"

"will you still come back to our floor?"

"fucking hell Steve! Just for that no. I'll get my own damn floor. The both of you little shits make me wanna do crazy shit. I better have a floor tp myself Steve. It's time I start getting my shit together as well."

"what are you gonna do when you get home?"

"there you go. Thinking about other people now. Keep it up. I'm gonna talk Tony's darn AI into letting me in wherever Tony goes. His room, the lab, shower, secret kitchen which i know nothing about nor does Clint so don't ask him. I'm gonna keep an eye on that idiot to make sure he doesn't do stupid things that can hurt him. He's already done enough dumb shit and been through too much to keep that streak going"

"sounds like you really like the fella, huh?"

"from the moment I laid eyes on him. But that's best left discussed for another time when we aren't all hyped on on that hate juice. See you around squirt"

Steve watches Bucky leave before he groans out loud in to the empty room

"god why do I have to be so stupid"

After a bit of thinking a thought crosses his mind.

'i hope they don't leave me behind and start a relationship instead. Maybe I can talk them into a poly one instead'

With that in mind Steve gets up and sets the bombs in the base to explode as he leaves for the quinjet. He notices that Tony and Bucky aren't around and is disappointed at not being able to see them as he returns home.

[wongpuppy]

FATED, huang xuxi

↳ Rating lots of fluff + slight crack

↳ Pairing player!Xuxi x Y/N

↳ Word count 5k [ one-shot / soulmate!au ]

↳ Summary the red thread of fate was real after all, managing to make something out of nothing

Red Thread of Fate: ancient Chinese mythology about the lunar matchmaking god Yuè Lâo tying a red thread around the ankles of destined lovers at the age of 21; regardless of place, time, or circumstances.

The DJ played hectic, bass heavy EDM tracks that contrasted drastically to the semi formal themed party. You down the red of the alcoholic contents in the red solo cup with a wide smile, turning to your best friend Ella.

“Thank you for forcing me to come! I’m having the time of my life!”

Stress has been your closest best friend lately, with all the exams and projects being thrown at you. So when Ella asked you to go out with her, you were definitely more than hesitant at first.

You throw your hands in the air and Ella smirks at you. “I told you you’d have a blast.”

The sea breeze flows through your hair when you close your eyes and throw your head back, appreciating the open decked yacht and everything this extravagant party had to offer. You were on some random yacht off the coast, still close enough to be able to see the city. The moon was completely full tonight, high and dominating the entire sky.

Your tipsy mind free from troubles and bad thoughts. You felt reborn the moment the time went past midnight.

The DJ announces that it was midnight and the crowd cheers heavily and you join, not really knowing why exactly the mass of people were going crazy.

“You never did tell me what club this is or event this was, you know.” You take another cup of beer from the bar and chug the whole thing down in one go.

Ella’s eyes widen at your question and she laughs nervously, sipping on the cup in her hands. “Funny story, Y/N.”

You motion for her to go along whilst nodding and dancing to the song the DJ played, not really focused on what she was saying.

“This isn’t a club or event.” She sighs and avoids your gaze. Eun says the next sentence quick and all in one breath, knowing exactly how you’re gonna take it. “Its Xuxi’s yacht, and he’s now officially 21!”

Your best friends throws her hands in the air as if to cheers, but you felt every ounce of alcohol fade once she mentions the younger boys name. Whether it was the tequila shots or just how much you hated him, your hearts been racing ever since Xuxi was brought into the conversation.

You knew you could never date a guy younger than you, even if it was just a few months younger like him.

“Are you fucking with me?” Your arms are immediately crossed against your chest as you stare at Ella with a narrow gaze.

Needless to say, Xuxi and your relationship was pretty worse for wear. You loathed him, his intensely cocky personality and ‘i’m richer and better than you’ attitude was a complete turn off. Everything about Huang Xuxi was a complete turn off.

“He invited us.” She shrugged. “You were having so much fun before I mentioned it was his party.”

Invited us? Give me a break. As far as you could tell, Xuxi hated you almost just as much as you hated him. He sneered at you whenever he saw you and even gave you the nickname Top Bitch. Which, to be honest, didn’t really sound all that bad to you.

“Exactly.” You sigh and feel a headache come out of nowhere, leaving you clutching your right temple. “I’m allergic to even the slightest mention of him, I just got a headache. I’ll be back, don’t think you’re in the green.”

You move past the crowd to get towards the bathroom, or anywhere that was at least somewhat quiet. Going inside the large living room, you walk towards a bathroom but when you knock and only hear explicit noises on the other side; you cringe and leave. So you go towards the main bedroom instead, walking in when no one answers your knock.

The empty and quiet room let you release a sigh in happiness, massaging your temples. Contemplating laying down on the large and inviting white bed, you go to the bathroom instead; only feeling your temples throb even more.

You wince as you walk towards and pull open the door to the bathroom only to jump back and shriek at the sight.

None other than Huang Xuxi was leaning against the sleek marble sink, clutching his forehead until he jumped at the sound of the door opening and a girly squeal. You watch him groan and wince before turning to you.

But, amazingly once you connect eyes, the throbbing pain is gone and all you feel is relief. Your shoulders relax, your head feels light, its like a wave of serenity flows all through your body. You couldn’t help but feel so at ease, its like you forgot who you were currently gawking at.

“Y/N?” Xuxi looks at you with dazed, confused eyes before looking you up and down, iris’ doubling size at the sight of your feet. “Oh my god.”

You quickly look down and you instantly get why, mouth falling open.

Your black minidress and strappy black heels allowed for a thin, glowing red thread to wrap and tie itself around your ankle. But it didn’t stop there, you watched in horror as it continued onto the bathrooms tilled floors and under Xuxi’s pants, presumably to tie around his ankle.

You swallow thickly. The string felt like nothing but Xuxi and you could definitely see it, the vibrant red surrounded by a bright white light.

“What the hell is going on? Did you do this? Is this some sort of joke?” You stare at the last visible end of the thread before it disappears under the tall, irritating boys pants. He sighs, still staring at your ankle and the ribbon with a disbelieving look.

“No, princess, its a stupid fairytale my dad used to tell me. Guess its fucking real, huh.” Xuxi squeezes his eyes shut and you’re stood there in the doorway between the bedroom and bathroom still in shook. “Red thread of fate, a Chinese myth about a string that ties around two fated lovers ankles. We’re... We’re soulmates.”

The two of you stare at each other with disbelief written all over your faces, before you burst into laughter. “Thats a joke right? You’re definitely messing with me.”

When Xuxi continues to stare at you with his wide brown eyes, your laughter soon fades when you realize his facial expression wasn’t changing at all. Your face falls and you quickly reach down to your ankle, trying to pull at the string. Your hand just goes through it, as if it was just a hologram.

Your jaw drops. “H-How?”

“I don’t know.” Xuxi replies, eyes watching your hand go through the thread, yet the thread followed your foot wherever it went. “This... This is so fucked up.”

You grumble and give up, sitting on the floor and careful not to flash that guy-your soulmate your undies. Crossing your arms across your chest, the both of your eyes set on the thread connecting the two of you. You swallow thickly when a thought comes to your mind.

“Why aren’t you calling me Top Bitch?”

Thats when you fully take notice that this whole hour consisted of a very different Xuxi, one that hasn’t called you any names or threw a comment at you. He hasn’t cursed at you, hasn’t given you any looks, this was definitely unusual for Xuxi. This Xuxi was full of big, brown eyes that seemed to be permanently dazed. His words were softer, almost as if Xuxi’s voice got gentler the second he turned 21.

Xuxi’s eyes whip to yours and they’re obviously wide. “Holy shit. I haven’t called you that.” He swallows thickly and quickly looks away from your gaze with pink on his cheeks. “I don’t feel like I want to anymore.”

For the first time in the whole three years you’ve known Xuxi, your heart flutters for a second. But that one second is so profound it leaves you clutching your chest and shaking your head slowly.

“What is going on with me?”

“You’re falling for me, Y/N.” Xuxi lightly smirks for the first time since the two of you locked eyes, which is very surprising. He sighs a second later and taps the sink. 

“Shut the fuck up.” You sneer at him and scrunch your face. “This is all my drunk mind and everything will wear off in an hour or two.”

Xuxi sits on the floor leaning against the sinks drawers. “Enjoying my party?” He’s sitting across from you and the end of his feet reach your knees where the ends of yours reach the middle of his calf. You take a quick inhale and look away.

“I guess. Then this crazy migraine came out of nowhere and now I’m here.”

“Same here. But its completely gone now.”

That definitely meant your headaches were connected. There was no way the both of you could get a headache at the same time then have it leave at the same time. 

The red thread. 

Your eyes narrow and you go to nudge his calf, but once your foot touches his leg, it was like adrenaline flew through your bodies, goosebumps instantly rising. And when you looked at the thread, it started to slowly loose its vibrancy. Your eyes widened.

“Xuxi, look, if we’re touching the string gets dimmer and fades really slowly. If I pull away it stops.” You show him and nod to yourself with a small grin. “So it should fade away the more we’re touching.”

When you look up at Xuxi, he looks as if he was daydreaming but looking directly at you. His lips were in a small side smile and eyes low. The way he managed to look at you pretty intimately made your cheeks pink. “I think that’s the first time you’ve said my name.”

“Thats definitely not true.” You scoff and can’t help but laugh under your breath. Xuxi’s grin widens just a little at the sight.

“Lets just say it was then.”

Your grin is unbearably wide and you couldn’t believe it, never once thinking Xuxi of all people would be making you blush. But then you remember that it was Xuxi and you clear your throat and rolled your eyes. “Please, Xuxi, how many other girls have you used that on?”

“If I’m being completely honest, a lot.” Xuxi twists the rings on his fingers and you scoff loudly. When you sit up to leave, he leans forward and lightly grasps the back of your calf and you let out an audible gasp.

It was crazy, it felt like butterflies that took a lot of steroids.

“But up until an hour ago, I’ve only been thinking about one girl and its only been you.” You’re standing up and you swallow thickly at the honesty in his voice and big, brown eyes. “Which is fucking insane because we’re supposed to hate each other... right?”

You run your hands through your hair and sigh. “Its this red string thing. But the feelings aren’t real, it’ll all fade, look.”

You point to your ankles and the slightly faded string but Xuxi keeps his eyes on you, swallowing thickly at your sentence.

“Don’t you... don’t you feel like this is something more?”

Your eyes snap back up to Xuxi’s and your throat goes dry. He immediately gets up and motions between the two of you. “I don’t know about you but I’ve never felt anything like this before and I’ve been in love, so, this is different.”

You narrow your eyes at him. Xuxi? In love? That was an idea you never would’ve connected. Yet, you couldn’t help but agree. Even if you’ve never really been in love, you’ve felt it and knowing exactly how much you hated Xuxi, whatever was still keeping you in the bathroom with him was powerful.

“Why us?” You sigh and squeeze your eyes shut. “I’m soulmates with a guy who sleeps with a different girl every night!”

“Hey.” Xuxi frowns and takes a few steps towards you. “Thats not true. You know I won’t do that to you, I’m not that type of guy in relationsh-“

This Xuxi was definitely one that you aren’t used to, seeing him in a completely different light. It was as if he really did care.

“I don’t know that you wouldn’t do that to me!” You point a finger to his chest and ignore the sparks that go off from the smallest contact. “And don’t talk about us in a relationship, take a few steps back.”

He rolls his eyes and holds his hands up, moving back and away from you. And even though you know you asked him to move back, you couldn’t help but feel a loss of comfort the more steps Xuxi took. You groan at the feeling.

“I need air.” You mutter, taking one last fleeting look across Xuxi and his big, wide eyes before walking out of the bathroom and bedroom, and out towards the empty front deck. The entire walk your eyes were focused on the red string around your ankle.

No one else seemed to notice the string, as it followed your ankle through the mass of people. When you got to the deck, you take a deep breath and sigh. The three years of unfortunate encounters with Xuxi and you could be compared to a cat and dog type of relationship. The two of you went at it back and forth, ever since you first met.

Three years ago

You and your friends were at some random dorm hall on campus, playing pool and chilling in the community game room. It was around 9:36pm on a Sunday so campus was almost empty, save for the guys playing pool casually next to you.

Not gonna lie, you noticed them the minute you walked in the room, talking to your roommate Ella. Especially the taller, blonde one. He was probably the most beautiful guy you’ve ever seen, with full lips and broad shoulders, he was definitely gonna be stuck in your head for a few days.

But when he caught you staring, he gave you a cocky smirk that had you rolling your eyes. If theres one thing you hated, it was a conceited guy who played girls with that exact smirk.

You’ve had too much experience and you were sure this wouldn’t add to it. In the corner of your eye you watch him and a couple of his friends walk over and you groan, nudging Ella. “They’re coming over.”

“Sheesh, blondies a looker. I caught you rolling your eyes when you saw him.” She sneaks a look at him and turns back to you with a satisfied grin.

“Not my type.” You cross your arms across your chest and boldly turn to watch him and his friends get closer. “He’s way to cocky for me, I feel it.”

“I like them confident.” Ella eyes you. “Can I go for him?”

“Go for it.” You shrug at her and turn back when the guy in question and his friends are in front of you and your friends.

“I don’t think we’ve seen any of you before.” The blonde guy keeps his gaze and smirk locked securely on you. “Do you live in the hall?”

“We live in Beacon across campus.” Even if Ella’s the one that spoke up and answered, Xuxi takes his time looking away from you to her. You scoff.

“Interesting.” He turns back to you with a cheeky grin. “I’m Xuxi.”

“My names Ella.” She holds out her hand towards him and he looks away from you with a little wink. You shake your head and turn to his friends instead. They seemed a lot calmer than Xuxi, the two boys now turned to you with warm grins.

“Hey, I’m Y/N.” You nod your head at them and they nod back. The one with light brown hair and a pretty smile answers first.

“My names Kun, I’m Xuxi’s roommate.”

“Sicheng, nice to meet you.” The boy with flawless features and light blonde hair replies.

“Nice to meet you guys too, both of you freshman?”

“No, Sicheng and I are sophomores. This is your first semester here?” Kun replies and you nod grinning at him.

“And you aren’t caught up by the force that is Huang Xuxi, impressive.” Sicheng smirks and you laugh a little, shrugging.

“Theres a lot more to a pretty face.” You look back over to Xuxi and where he stood with your friends a couple feet away. You turn back to them with a grin. “So what’re you guys’ majors?”

“Xuxi and I are both business majors.” Kun replies with a shrug. “I’m not really into it, more into editing and videography, which I do on the side.” 

“I’m a theatre major.” Theres a faint pink hue that spreads across Sicheng’s face until he shrugs it off. “My parents wouldn’t let me go to acting school so this is the closest thing to that.” 

You laugh loudly and shake your head at the two of them, already knowing you’re going to like them. “That’s really cool. I’m a bio major, but I might switch because it’s already getting hard and I don’t like that.” 

Kun visibly cringes while Sicheng shrugs. The lighter blonde boy smirks at you, nudging Kun. “He failed intro to bio twice in his freshman year, it was pretty sad.” 

You laugh again and when your eyes fleet across the room for a second, you catch Xuxi’s eyes. He turns back to you with another smirk.

“I don’t think I got your name.” Xuxi excuses himself from the girls before walking over to you without another word.

“It’s Y/N.” You give him an unimpressed look when he looks you up and down. He grins wolfishly.

“Thats a lovely name and, do I hear an accent?”

“Get her whole life story then her snapchat, bro, always works.” Kun scoffs and you grin at him. You pull out your phone towards Kun and Sicheng, away from Xuxi.

“Speaking of, can I get the both of yours?”

Both their eyes widen slightly before nodding and pulling out their phones and exchanging codes. Behind you, you can hear Ella and the girls hounding Xuxi for his snapchat and you release a sigh of relief.

Until Kun turns to the girls and asks for their usernames. Whilst Kun and Sicheng were getting the girls’ codes, it left you and yours truly free.

“So, Y/N,” Xuxi takes a few steps towards you, “my snapchats h-u-a-x-u-x-i.”

You raise a brow. “I don’t remember asking for it, do you?”

He looks confused for a second before his smirk grows. “You’re feisty, huh. Don’t worry, babe, I love a challenge.”

You scrunch your face in disgust, wondering how such pretty looks can be obscured by such a narrow personality. But before you could say anything, Ella’s voice calls Xuxi’s name and you sigh in relief.

“I’ll catch you in a bit, Y/N.” He winks at you while walking backwards and towards Ella. You wave with a fake smile before turning away with a roll of your eyes. You turn to Kun and Sicheng instead, enjoying their company much more than Xuxi’s.

Later that night you get a notification on your phone and its a request from none other than ‘huaxuxi’ himself. You nibble on your bottom lip for a few minutes before accepting it. And you already felt like you would regret this.

Xuxi: Kun spilled and told me your username :)

Y/N: tell kun i dont like him anymore

Xuxi: Does that mean you like me more?

Y/N: that would require me to like you in the first place :)

It only takes Xuxi a week before he realizes that you actually didn’t like him and decided that you thought of yourself too highly. From then came Top Bitch and the countless sneers and scoffs. 

And thats just how it was for the both of you, never any different.

You’re sitting in the cafeteria with the girls when some of the NCT boys walk by, making you roll your eyes and sink in your seat lower catching a glimpse of who was there. But instead of walking up to your table, Xuxi just walks by and doesn’t even say hi making you furrow your brows. 

“Did Xuxi just ignore me?” You mutter to Ella once he’s a good distance away. You keep looking at him sneakily behind her shoulder and when he catches your gaze, instead of smirk or wink, Xuxi glares at you. “Holy shit he just glared at me.” 

“Maybe he gave up, isn’t that what you wanted?” Ella replies, shrugging at you. 

“Yeah.” You say quietly, swallowing thickly when your throat goes a little dry. “Yeah, it is.”

⇝⇝⇝

It isn’t until that moment that you realized you completely ditched Ella. You groan and quickly pull out your phone from the back of your tight, strapless dress. Texting her where you were, you at least knew she would still be on the boat.

You put away your phone and sigh, leaning against the yacht railing and watching the moonlight play against the water, the full moon still bright and powerful. The cities colorful and lit skyline looks almost animated and magical.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

You turn your head to the sound of your best friends voice, Ella walking towards you with narrowed eyes. You sigh and shake your head.

“You wouldn’t believe what I went through.”

Ella raises a brow at you once she’s beside you. “Oh? Do tell.”

You nibble on your bottom lip and realize you didn’t even know where to begin. How do you tell someone that a magical, mythical Chinese fable about soulmates happened to you?

“Remember three years ago when we met Xuxi?”

Ella’s eyes get a bit widened, noticing the way you say his name without cringing. She nods and motions for you to go on.

“Why didn’t you ever go for him?”

“Oh, honey,” she sighs and rolls her eyes, “I tried. He was just too... preoccupied, I guess.”

“Preoccupied?” You furrow your brows and turn back to the view.

“Y/N, he was like hooked on you the minute he saw you. Theres no way you didn’t notice.”

You sigh loudly and face her with a stressed look.

“Do you see anything tied around my ankle?”

Ella gives you a funny look before looking down and confusedly on your ankle. “No? It’s too dark, here let me put flash on.”

You look down at the still half vibrant red thread that stood out in the darkness with a sigh. “Never mind, it’s okay.”

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Your best friend gives you a worried look, never seeing you like this before.

Your chin wobbles and you close your eyes. “Xuxi and I, we’re soulmates.”

Ella stares at you, waiting for you to shout ‘JK’ or to laugh it off. But your straight face doesn’t falter, making your best friends eyes widen.

“How do you know? Xuxi? Soulmates?”

Your eyes pull open and you sigh at her. “Its hard to explain but yeah it’s true.”

“Is it true to you though?”

You look at Ella’s face and hesitates before nodding a little. Now that you were apart from Xuxi, your mind was clear but there was an obvious divide. When you were with him there was electricity in the air, sparks flying from the slightest look. It felt like something else completely being around him, it felt nice. Inviting.

“Yeah, Ella, I do.”

⇝⇝⇝

Xuxi collapses on his bed with a loud sigh, already feeling his headache coming back. He knew you were walking further and further, spending three minutes earlier just watching the red thread twist and turn.

Theres no time for him to be alone with his thoughts as his best friend Sicheng walks in a few seconds later. “Xuxi, bro, why are you still in here? The parties outside!”

Xuxi sits up on his bed and rubs his hands over his face. “Have your parents told you about that myth about the red thread of fate? About the soulmates?”

Sicheng furrows his brows and gets up from his place where he was leaning against a desk table. His confused face was obvious, Xuxi never being the one to talk anything about love, feelings, or soulmates. “Yeah, why?”

“Its true, bro.” Xuxi sighs and avoids Sicheng’s eyes, focusing on the floor. “Y/N and I...”

Sicheng’s eyes snap down to the exact placement of the thread and he comes closer. “I don’t see anything, Xux.”

“Obviously.” The taller boy motions for the vibrant red string. “But Y/N and I definitely do.”

“No fucking way.” The other Chinese guy shakes his head staring at Xuxi’s ankle. Until a smirk blooms on his face. “Y/N, though? I’m not surprised.”

“Right?!” Xuxi groans and stops, realizing Sicheng said the complete opposite of what he thought the guy would say. “Wait, what do you mean? We hated each other.”

“In the whole three years we’ve known each other, Y/N’s the only girl thats been consistently in your life that isn’t family.” Sicheng shrugs and continues to smirk at the boy sitting on the bed. “Which is insane because, you know, it’s you. And I am now 30 dollars richer thanks to you and Mr. Kun.”

Xuxi completely skips over the second sentence once Sicheng finishes talking, turning to the boy with wide eyes and an incredulous look. “The both of you bet on Y/N and me?!”

“To date, yeah, but this whole fate thing is basically the same thing, right?” Sicheng laughs loudly and winks at Xuxi. “I’m joking, man. But, knowing Y/N, she isn’t too happy with this?”

“That’s an understatement. She’s outside getting air.” Xuxi lays back down with a groan. “When it went past midnight, its like my feelings towards Y/N flipped. I feel so different towards her, like, I don’t mind this whole... situation, you know? The whole soulmates thing?”

“Then what the fuck are you doing here?” Sicheng claps loudly, instantly pulling him out of his reverie and forces Xuxi on his feet. “Go and tell her that!”

“Are you sure?” Xuxi gives him a small look, not really knowing what to do in this position at all. He was used to girls but you were something completely different, not like any girl he’s ever dealt with. The last thing Xuxi wanted to do was piss you off, knowing how heated you would get. 

“One hundred percent.” The shorter boy shrugs with a smirk. “When am I ever wrong, Xux? Now, go!”

Xuxi hurriedly runs out of the bedroom without a second thought, racing to find you. It was clear as day in his mind now, Xuxi realized that all these years of detesting you was nothing but a hoax, because if you were ever somehow out of his life; Xuxi wouldn’t know what to do. 

He doesn’t stop to wink or talk to girls, only thanking and waving at the people who told him happy birthday. Xuxi was a man on a mission, racing through his yacht to get you.

“Y/N.” He gets to the front deck and slows his steps when you aren’t alone. Your best friend, Ella, he recognized, stood beside you with dear in headlights eyes. “Oh, shit, sorry, I thought you were alone.”

“Oh! Its okay, I was just asking about rides back home.” Ella laughs nervously, nudging you low key. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”

You nod and watch your best friend leave, not without throwing you a thumbs up and wink before she was gone. When its just you and Xuxi, the electricity is back and the headache is gone.

“Your headache stopped too?” You ask him and he nods at first before he realizes what you asked and Xuxi’s eyes widened.

“How did you know my head hurt?”

You shrug and the corner of your lips pull up. “Soulmate thing.”

Xuxi’s eyes focus on your smile for a second longer then bubbling laughter flows out of him. He takes some steps closer to you, reaching forward to hold your hand. Theres the feeling of pop rocks the second your hands touch and its addictive.

“The feelings aren’t fake or gonna fade in a day or two.” Xuxi clears his throat and blushes a little, the tops of his ears turning red. “They’ve always been there. This whole string thing just made me realize it.” 

The moonlight, colorful city lights, and fairy lights decked throughout the yacht made this moment so magical, for the first time that night, you fully believed in the old Chinese wise tale. 

“You piss me off a lot but I don’t know what I’d do without it.” You say with a shrug, smirking not long after. Xuxi chuckles and bites down on his lip, looking down at you.

“Are you willing to give it a shot, Y/N?”

You sigh and playfully roll your eyes, standing closer to him. “I guess I will, Xuxi.”

The red thread between the two of you dissolves almost all together the longer the two of you keep smiling at each other. Seconds later, fireworks go off in the backdrop and scares you, making you shriek and jump. Xuxi laughs loudly and holds you against his chest, watching the colorful lights in the sky.

“I forgot the fireworks went off at 2am.”

“Why 2 in the morning?” You laugh loudly, unable to stop yourself from clutching onto his chest to get closer. The warmth Xuxi gave off was so inviting.

“So people don’t forget it’s my birthday.” Xuxi smirks to himself, obviously proud of himself. You roll your eyes but laugh none the less.

“You’re unbelievable, Xuxi.”

[xanthicantag]

alright bro im gonna do all the ask so. U Know You're Doin Em Too

Hot read more since there’s so maaaaaany

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

I feel like this is entirely based on who i’m feeling the one sided love for? (I googled  Hanahaki disease and i’m all about that shit no doubt there)  But like, maybe daffodils? 

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

Uh Roses motherfucker, you’re welcome

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

Ok so like on the one hand I love lances, so fucking much, so I’m like big into Knights for that and like protecting people (and/or a beautiful prince cause like, you know), but I also really love the idea of just being like, a traveling fighter of some kind, leading a troupe of loveable idiots or being in a troupe as a loveable idiot.  I want to be Iron Bull is what I’m trying to say I guess????? or like, Krem? who knows

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit.

Ok so I’m torn again.  Cause protection and ease of movement are super important, so like a breastplate and some kind of back protection, maybe a shield?  or maybe a sick gauntlet arm like Ike from Fire Emblem cause he knows what’s up, and then some minor leg armor to keep the front of my thighs and calves safe and like a shield since those fuck am I right??  On the other hand: If you look like a Thot, the enemy is distracted and an easy target.  I’m talking chainmail crop top, plate armor booty shorts, stupid looking heel shoes(?) for maximum thot energy, and of course a whip, either that i use or just have for the thot energy.

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

I think like, a minor deity that helps people make small to mediumish choices (i.e. talk the left or right path, call or don’t call this person), and then like, a cute little charm that people just kinda crush or burn before asking about the choice feels good, feels organic.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

Now, I don’t know a lot of quote to be honest, but here’s some paraphrased stuff:

“Now that larping exists dnd is like, not the least cool thing to do”- Travis McElroy

“Yeah I have a pickle allergy, what about it *Pickle eating sounds*” -Me, often

“I fucked your dad” -Me during a quiplash game?  And often yeah I’ll admit this

I don’t remember what’s said, but the scene in the Count of Monte Cristo where he just shows off all his sick skills to be like “Yeah I’ll murder the fuck out of your homeboy if he tries to step up to me”.

“All Magicians are inherently inclined to kill” -That unraveled about Megaman robots who get sentience

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Ok so like, Scythe for formal occasions/when I want to just look good cause I think their a sexy as hell weapon, at me if you want to be I know I’m right.  Battle Axes are cool and like, really useful during a siege since you can easily bust stuff down with it and it lets you cut spears in half so you look dope as hell, like, Hector of Ostia if you’re out there, yes you’re correct.   Broad Swords are like, just in general really good, you can use it in a duel, a battle, a coronation, magic rituals if you’re really feeling fancy, the list is just endless, a real classic all purpose weapon.  Spears are for fucking losers, fuck you if you use a spear sword fight me like a fucking real fighter or get out of here none of this reach bullshit.  Tridents are like spears but just, inherently sexier?  You know?  Like 1 point is stupid and boring, but 3?  that’s some good shit.  But really fuck all these weapons whips are lances are where it’s at yes feel free to at me again.

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

Now this i have like, actually no idea for, but like, just tons of flowers.  I just take like a fistful of flowers and rub them on my face.  

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

Oh you know I’m about that leather-bound book life!  Fuck A scroll, that is just a piece of paper that is going to tear and be illegible in like 5 years.  A nice bound book though?  *Chefs kiss*

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

A summer rain.  It comes in quickly and is gone by the turn of the hour.  A brief respite during the dry season, and gone before it can become a disaster. 

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

First of all op, get the fuck off my back Roses or nothing.  Secondly a big sunflower.

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

Um, neither??????????????????

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

Honestly an apartment in the city would be nice but like, living in the woods is the prime chance to be a local mystery.

14. curtains of beads or lace?

Probably lace?  Do beads block light?

15. vocal or instrumental music?

I am a big fan of instrumental

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

Step one, big cape, it doesn’t touch the ground while on my shoulders but goes about mid calf.  Step two, leather armor, it’s light and easy to move in, and provides good protection.  Step three, Mask, nothing like flashy, just a plain black mask, preferably a full mask if i’ve got some magic to see with not my eyes, other wise like a typical masquerade mask

17. of all the fantasy races to ever exist, which one would you be?

Fuck.  This is so hard.  I want to be, so many.  No you know what, fuck it.  I wanna be a Dragonborn Tiefling hybrid, I’m talking cool horns, I’m talking sweet tail, you already know I can spit literal fire out of my face.  Fucking try and get at me I dare you.

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

I love hard candy to just suck on, but my teeth do not.

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

if you don’t think this crown fucks, get out of my face

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

I’ve had my hair long enough for that like once, and I don’t really like tying my hair up tbh

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

Um.  Bold of you to say I’m not hitting up all these parties???  Like def vampires first since the elven party is advertised to go for like 5 hours, but we all know it goes on for like 4 months and I can’t party that long as a mortal you know.  And like you hit the fae up last since you literally are gonna be stuck there the rest of your life after one (1) round of truth or dare

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

Like, in all honesty the biggest thing a witch could do to me via curse would just be to make my right arm like full unusable.  Not gone or broken.  Just like, it’s slow, I can’t always get it to fully hold onto something so it drops everything, there’s always a small feeling of discomfort, not pain just a minor annoyance, in the knuckles of the hand.

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

I get kicked out of the nymph singing area after four seconds of

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

I fucking go wild for the smell of basil don’t even try me

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

I remembered Inkheart recently and like, I honestly really liked that book

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

Sophomore year of college, I realized that all the people around me were people I actually enjoyed spending time with, and it just felt so weird to be there after all the just nonsense that had happened up till then

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

healing duh?  You think I’d ever remember i have the poison one? nope not me!

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

Try and be a little nicer, unless they really don’t deserve it.  Walk away sometimes.  Eat food and don’t think about it.

29. vials or mason jars?

Oh get me those vials baby!

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

OH HELL YES.  Get me that suit, it’s a sweet dark red with rose colored vest underneath, the jacket and pants have flower vines on them that 100% connect to a big ass rose on the back of the jacket.  The mask is more or less this guy:

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

I can literally swim any day so let’s fly

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

Ok i didn’t understand this one at first so I’m keeping my initial reply below and the real one is: You know I beat some like high ranking knight or minor noble in a duel to humiliate them and no i didn’t think it through so here i am lol.

3 things: A talking magic weapon (Probably a sword but i’m down for other options).  A certain someone is going in and I’m not letting him go in without someone to keep him safe.  There’s dragon eggs that work like the Eragon dragon eggs and I am already waist deep in dead enemies getting one of those babies.

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

Take a wild fucking guess

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

God this is so hard, but I think a magic flower that when you pluck one if its petals you can undo a recent event, up to like ten minutes or so.

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

I’ll say the Death of Me by Meg Myers

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

God that’s hard,  Like yeah pirates are cool but i’d love to be royalty and just get to do good shit for the people and also not have scurvy.

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

Hmmm, I think the Tavern as like the number 1, and then a tie for docks and field, and the marketplace in last since i hate crowded areas i need to buy things in

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

Only if I ever ride a dragon and then have a painting to immortalize the moment, and only if the dragon helps me paint it

39. what skill are you famous for?

I mean, people know I sword fight, fight fight, and program, so like, those?  and I guess my sick dnd skills

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

Fuck if I can think of one!

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

Ok Stained glass windows literally slap so like, you already know

[bobowhooo]

Potent Savages

Genre : Drama?/ Angst/ Thriller/ Fluff??/ Trigger warningssss/ SMUT haha ima really do it this time enjoy/ Exo, oc, and blackpink gang au!

Summary : Not everyone is cut out for this kind of fast paced lifestyle, but for these young, rich, savages, it’s second nature.

Chapter 12 : More savage

                                               Grrr bitch.

My body won’t stop moving on it’s own. Im so fucking filled with rage right now. All i can see is red. A faint silhouette of choi siwon keeping my gloved hands in action. I could still hear his voice perfectly. I wish i could accept that he’s dead now, but for some reason it feels like he is still living. Hiding somewhere deep down inside of me. 

I snapped out of my thoughts when a cry of pain entered my ears.

“Fuck aya.” Rose grabbed my shoulders, pulling me back from lisa who had fallen to the ground.

“Shit! im sorry! im so sorry.” i fell to the floor of the gym to get a look at where i accidentally clocked the girl. 

“It’s okay, im fine. But what the hell were you thinking about? i could tell your mind ran off somewhere.” She said while hissing in pain and taking off the punching pads that i had been aiming for earlier. 

“I don’t know, i just.....ugh, i don’t know.” 

“You have to know what made you go out of it.” jennie spoke up from the other side of the home gym. Her body slowing down as she turned down the speed of the treadmill. 

“I.....”

“You?” Jennie spoke more aggressively. 

“I can’t get siwon out of my head and-”

“Knock knock.” Kai peaked into the room through the door with a smile. 

Seconds later, the door was pushed roughly open and baekhyun stepped in before anyone else while chanyeol was right behind him. As always. 

I bit my lip at baekhyun when his eyes met mine. Completely forgetting the conversation that was interrupted by them. He smiled at me with his eyes turning up into little crescents. His body adorned in a black nike compression shirt and black shorts. His own gloves hanging in one hand and a drink gripped in the other. I could see his chain peeking out of his shirt even though he pushed it under the material. 

“My eyes are up here.” I looked up at him as he held out one hand for me.

“I know where your eyes are located baekhyun.” 

I was brought to my feet with a pull of my mans arm. He smirked when i bumped into him. 

“Well aren’t you shameless.”

“You are too.”

He grabbed my elbow and twirled me around so my back is to him, my legging clad left ass cheek filled his harsh grip and i hissed. 

“You’re right. There’s no shame in my game.”

“Fuck sake, get a room!” Chanyeol yelled at us from his seat on the bench next to all the weights.

Baekhyun slowly loosened his possessive grip on me and stepped back. I know that a month ago he would have probably done something much more. But after everything that had happened he’s been afraid of hurting me, or triggering me. He’s so careful and much more gentle. Well as gentle as a guy like baekhyun can try to be. But, i don’t need him to be gentle with me, or treat me like a fragile little piece of fine china. 

Not that i completely hate it. I think it’s sweet. But when has anything between us ever been just sweet. 

“ You know, i can tell you’re holding back.”

“You know me so well.” He spoke without looking at me while putting his gloves on. 

“Daddy.”

His eyes widened and he smiled in surprise. “Stop it aya.”

“Look at me.”

He ignored me and messed around with his gloves more, still grinning.

My hand grabbed his chin, forcing him to look my way. “Where’s your balls daddy?”

“In my pants.”

“Are you sure? They might be missing.”

“Stop.”

“Hmmm.....” my hand slowly moved down his chest and straight to his nuts. He jumped and grabbed my hand, laughing loudly at my bold moves.

“Stop! Damn, you know im trying to restrain myself.”

“You never told me that shit. But, yeah, i noticed.”

“You’re fucking crazy.”

“Stop acting like a bitch baekhyun, im a grown woman with a body count of over one hundred. If i need to be babied i would tell you, now wouldn’t i?”

“You’re right again love, damn you’re on a roll today.”

A pout sat on my face as i watched him brush me off and be stubborn with his stupid decision. I get it, I know that after what happened he doesn’t want to make any hasty moves, but damn how am i supposed to enjoy being back if he’s acting like this.

He kissed my pout and walked off to do what he came here for. We might be both stubborn and firm on our decisions, but i always get what i want. 

Always.

My feet followed him to the weights. I could see him in the mirror smiling at the way i was acting. Something like a needy pet, or a bratty kid that wants a thing it can’t have. It’s usually the other way around with us. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Is this what love does to a person like me?

The pout residing on my face grew more prominent as he continued to ignore the fact that i was staring at him in need. In need of him to be the reckless, stupid, crazy baekhyun i love. 

“Babe.”

“Aye, chanyeol, im gonna need you to spot me.”

“Baekhyunnnnn.”

“Yes baby?”

“Cut it ooouuut.”

His face filled with an expression i have never seen before, to be honest. But im going to guess it’s the look you give when you see something cute. I have never been seen as cute before. So i don’t know for sure what the fuck he’s making that face for. 

You could say the way im acting right now is really unusual. I wish i could stop it. But a random emotion has taken over my body. I looked up into the mirror and looked at myself up and down. My stance is vulnerable, and relaxed. My face scrunched up with a huge pout and narrowed eyebrows. My arms folded but somehow so open at the same time. 

I look like a damn fool.

All the eyes in the room stared at me in surprise. My actions being so out of pocket.

Baekhyun dropped his 45 pound weights, quickly grabbing me and sitting me on his lap. The happiness he’s radiating set off a certain butterfly feeling in my stomach. His face scrunched up when he dug it into my neck and shook his head. An actual giggle left my lips as i tried to get away from the thrill of the tickling sensation i was getting from the amazing man. 

“Baekhyunnn, you’re not listening to me.”

“I am baby, i hear you. You want me to pick you up and slam you to the wall like i used to.”

“Yes.”

“And you want me to choke this pretty neck of yours.”

“Yes.”

“And you want me to act recklessly with you, like before.”

“Yes.”

“Too bad.”

“Eh?”

“There’s going to be none of that baby. Well not this early at least.”

“What? Baekhyun.”

“No baby, none of it. I am going to treat you like the princess you are, and i am going to protect you with carefulness and caution.”

“But-”

“No buts, im not gonna let what happened to you happen again, you hear me? So suck it up and stop pouting.” He was looking me in the eyes with a stern expression that shook my core up, His index finger and thumb holding my chin gently. I leaned in, throwing myself into whatever this feeling is. My lips touching his in such a soft manner, as my body twisted for easier access to him. I could feel him tighten up a bit when i swung my arms around his broad shoulders. My lips digging into his passionately, Baekhyun grabbed onto my hips, making sure to keep me from moving too much, while i defiantly clutched onto his shoulders and grinded on him slowly. Our mouths dancing roughly with each other. His grip became deathly, his other hand let go of me and slowly moved it my torso. His fingers tickled my collar bone and traveled around my neck. 

Yes baekhyun. Do it.

The man pulled away quickly and removed his hands from my body. My head is still spinning while looking at baekhyun’s face screw into one of frustration.

“C-could you get up for me baby. Daddy needs a minute.” He said with his eyes shut tight and his hands clenched into fists.

“Yes daddy.”

Baekhyun sucked in air and shook his head. His body lifting and stopping for a moment to turn and shake his finger at me, then turn back and continue walking out. 

The door shut harshly and silence filled the room. Chanyeol chuckled for second before looking at me with wide eyes. 

“He’s gonna go masturbate in the bathroom. You know that right?”

“What?” I said not really processing what he said.

“Damn, he’s so firm on his decision, he would rather fuck his hand instead of you.” Chanyeol’s head shook in slow motions with a small grin on his face.

Am i missing something here. Does baekhyun really think that all this is necessary. My eyes squinted and i sucked my teeth, taking in a deep breath.

“That’s a no no.”

“This shit isn’t easy.” I said to chanyeol as i fix the chains hanging around my neck in the mirror of my bedroom.

“Just quit it. She doesn’t want you to hold back around her.” Chanyeol spoke back to me whilst touching up his hair.

“I know that, you don’t think i know that? But at this point it’s about what we both need. And me being my old reckless, horny, fuckboy self, is the very last thing we need.”

“Whatever you say boss.”

“Thank you. She’ll get used to it.” I threw on a jacket and made my way to the door, making sure to tap chanyeol as a sign, it’s time to go. 

“Well damn baekhyun, you’re starting to sound like an over protective dad.”

“Correction, daddy.”

“Dude, come on, Cut her some slack. She just wants things to be the way they used to.”

It’s not that im not considering how she feels. But im just scared. I don’t want anything to happen to her. I just want her to feel safe and protected around me. But maybe i am being too much right now. I should let myself relax. I don’t want to suffocate her. That will just make shit worse. Knowing aya, i can’t keep treating her like this. Too much of something she doesn’t like and someone will get hurt. 

“Ugh, fine. I’ll lighten up.” I said with an exhausted tone and closed eyes.

“There you go.” Chanyeol landed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “We all learned our lessons. It’s in the past now. Live a little.” The guy spoke the truth. 

I think i will.

Me and chanyeol entered the living area of the exo mansion in a rush. Suho and jisoo were sitting on the couch cuddled up together as if no one else was around. I sighed at the gross couple. I guess this is how it is seeing me and aya together, but much more pg. 

“Hi boys.” Jennie’s voice called out to us. I turned to the stairs where she was and found the rest of the girls not far behind her. They’ve been living here since the whole, well since shit hit the fan. Me and suho decided it was a safer idea to have them here. They are currently occupying the spare rooms we didn’t know what to do with. Im happy they are here with us though. I feel less worried knowing they’re in the same household.

I eyed aya up and down and she avoided my gaze. She’s obviously not happy with my behavior lately. That thought made me a bit upset. How can i be just the right amount or careful and reckless for my little queen. I want to be myself with her and be the man she loves. But i also want to be the man she needs. Someone who can match her strength and her pace. Im going to have to try my best to figure it out. But for right now, think my baby needs to be wooed.

I know just the thing to help with that,

She walked towards me with her head tilted slightly to the side and her face void of emotions. Her thighs were covered in black fishnet, and red thigh high, heeled boots. I licked my lips, completely taken by her outfit. Her looking like this tonight can’t be a coincidence. 

“My eyes are up here baekhyun.”

“I know where your eyes are located honey.”

Aya’s lips turned up into a smirk i missed more than i thought i did. I took her up in my arms swiftly, The distance between us was too much. My fingers dug into her soft thighs and she bit her soft bottom lip.

“Have you ever rode a motorcycle baby?”

“No, never. But i have a feeling that’s going to change?” She said while her eyes squinted cutely at me. 

“Let me take your motorcycle virginity babydoll.”

“It would be an honor baekhyun.”

“AAAHHH!” I strained my lungs as i screamed into the cool night. Wind whipping the helmet covering the hair i spent a good hour on. My fingers dug more into the jacket adorning the rest of the outfit baekhyun had picked out tonight. A smile is plastered on my face and i can’t get rid of it for some reason. I watched baekhyun’s hands tighten onto the handle bars when a small laugh came out of his mouth.

“Want me to go faster!?” He yelled back at me, leaning slightly forward more as he waited for an answer.

“Is that even a qu-AHHH!”

The sound of the motorcycle got even louder as he went faster without a definite yes. Excitement, thrill, joy, overflowing love for this amazing man. That’s what im feeling. After a whole month of misery and mental abuse. This is exactly what i needed. This is exactly what i wanted. I made it out half dead. But i finally feel alive again. 

I finally feel like me now.

“I LOVE YOU, BYUN BAEKHYUN!”

“I DEFINITELY LOVE YOU MORE, PARK BONG CHA!”

I felt my cheeks get hot at the way he called out my birth name. 

“Don’t say my name out loud like thaaat!”

“Sorry, sorry.”

I saw the club up ahead through my helmet. The lights adorned the dark atmosphere of the night, It’s large upscale look giving off a, you can’t sit with us, type of vibe. A sort of electronic, r and b, song loudly played so that it could be heard from afar. The wind carrying the sound perfectly. Huge neon purple letters spelled out the name of the club obnoxiously. OASIS. That’s where exo and blackpink will be throwing my welcome home party. Of course we’re the only ones that know i even left in the first place. But still. I denied this being a thing the moment they mentioned it to me. But they went and set it up anyways. Why? Because they’re a bunch of assholes. Assholes that i love more than i love myself. Which means a lot. 

Our bodies leaned to left as we swiftly entered the parking lot of the club. Baekhyun being the first to lift his right leg up and step off the ride. I did the same as he held my hand in his. 

“Im glad you enjoyed babydoll. We will definitely do it more often. I might even teach you how to ride one yourself.” He said, slowly letting my hand free itself from his.

“Might?” I pulled the helmet off carefully so i won’t mess up my hair anymore than i already have. Baekhyun nodded with pursed lips in response to my question. He pointed lazily at where to put my helmet before taking his own off. Baekhyun’s beautiful fingers curled around the head piece tightly. His arms made the sleeves of his jacket look so much tighter as he flexed pulling the object off almost teasingly. The head of the man popped out and flew back, shaking away the hair that had invaded his eyes. The helmet was placed to his side and he ran a hand through his kind of messy hair, making it more handsome, and much more on purpose. My heart beat is erratic as i watch his every move intensely. My lips going completely dry. What has he done to me. My eye caught a small smirk from his lips he tried to contain and hide from me. 

What an asshole.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” I said in a daze.

“Tempting you darling.” His answer somehow burning in my ears.

“You and i both know i don’t need to be tempted.”

His lips were moistened with a quick swipe of his pink tongue smoothly instead of giving a real response to my words. 

“Let’s go.” he said.

“Why? Afraid you might end up fucking me in the parking lot in front of all these people?” My teeth caught my bottom lip after the words left my mouth as the image flashed in my head.

No Answer. 

His eyes reacted first, closing tightly to fight the feeling creeping somewhere inside him. This is getting harder to watch. I guess he really wants to continue with his decision. I don’t know if i even want to keep pushing him like this. It’s really no fun. And if he’s so serious about this. Maybe i should be too. Even though i don’t understand it.

My arm reached out to be taken by his instinctively, and he took a hold of it gently.

“I’ll be good.” I said quietly. I don’t know if i really want him to hear that.

His head tilted to get a better look at my face that is hanging low. My pout sitting loudly and refusing to leave. Baekhyun hummed in agreement as if he’s saying “Okay we will see.” Which i don’t know if what i said is going to actually happen but i’ll give it the good old bong cha try.

He pulled me forward to follow him and i did so submissively. As soon as our feet walked through the entrance it was like a whole new world. The lights lit up the luxurious night club with a beautiful shade of purple. There are long white box like couches laid out where the dance floor is and private rooms tucked away to the sides of that. Spiral extravagant staircases led to the higher level of the place while even bigger staircases led to vip hang out spots. A huge black dj booth with a long stripe running along the sides and on the top of it was placed in the middle of everything, being something like the main attraction. Which makes sense. Behind there must be some sort of kitchen, where all the drinks and food are coming from. The smell here is a mixture of expensive cigars and weed with a hint of luxury cologne and perfume. I guess not a lot of people have sex in this club. Because sex is a reoccurring smell in a lot of clubs i go to. 

Fancy pantsy. Im impressed. I usually go to the more rough clubs because it’s much more fun and laid back. But this place seems pretty fun also. Definitely not laid back though.

“They out did themselves.” I said under my breath. Baekhyun was smiling as he looked around for the rest of the squad and held my hand. In reaction i did the same. My eyes took in the different faces. Some of them are exo rookies and some of them are just random people i don’t know. They all look hella expensive though. Not as expensive as me. But expensive nonetheless. I was pulled by my boyfriend to go up the larger stairs and to the vip hang out area. That’s where everyone else was sitting and drinking. Looking like complete buttholes. As always. But i have to admit i am starting to feel and come to understand the reason why they always separate themselves from everyone else. I do what i want though. so im probably going to end up back down the stairs with all the rookies again at some point. 

“Aya!” Jennie yelled from chanyeol’s lap as soon as we got to the top of the stair case. My head tilted to the side so hard i thought i cracked something. What the hell is she doing on his lap. I hope that’s nothing serious. My hand loosened on baekhyun’s and i tried to run for her but he didn’t let go. My body jerked back on his firm grip and i looked at his hand impatiently. He held out his cheek and tightened his death grip without even blinking an eye. 

“You have got to be kidding me, baekhyun.”

“Does it look like im kidding, aya?” 

“You know, for a drug dealing killer, you’re pretty soft.”

“Only for you lovely. Though you are the only one that can make me hard these days. Anyways, hurry.”

My lips pecked his soft marshmallow like cheek in a rush, my hand slipping out of his swiftly. I jumped into jennie’s arms with force. I can’t stop hugging my girls after leaving them for so long. I just can’t. Im sure it’s become a habit. 

“Im not letting you leave us and ride that stupid motorcycle with baekhyun. I missed you too much.” Jennie said in a jokingly sad tone.

“Aww shut up.” I playfully hit her arm in response to the small pain i felt from her cute whining.

Her smile widened as she chuckled a bit. “Alright, alright. I was kidding. Kind of.”

“I hope you guys know i don’t pick him over you. It’s equal.” I said in all seriousness.

“We do.” Rose said as she walked to me, lisa and jisoo not far behind. “But i think we should have a girls night. Just for us to spend some time together again. Despite how much we love the guys, we miss it just being us a lot.” 

Lisa nodded in agreement quickly and jisoo hummed. I know for jisoo that’s a definite yes, she’s obviously thinking the same way. I had no idea this was in their heads. But i guess that’s proof enough. I used to know exactly what their thinking at all times. But not anymore. I kind of hate myself for letting it get this way.

“It’s settled then. We’ll have a girls day. A day for us to reconnect and be the bad bitches we are. Just us. I promise.” I said with a proud smile as i looked them in the eyes one by one.

“Yayyyy!” The girls in front of me squealed excitedly at my answer and jumped towards me for a surprise group hug. My laugh got louder as i felt ticklish all around. I feel terrible for ever making them feel neglected by me.

“So what were you doing on chanyeol’s lap?” I asked curiously as we pulled out of the hug somewhat slowly. 

“Oh, that? I was just playing around with him. We tease each other here and there, it’s nothing really.”

“What? I thought you said you guy-” Lisa spoke before she got slapped in the back of the head. 

I tilted an eyebrow in suspicion at the scene. What was that about?

“They fucked.” Jisoo said nonchalantly. 

“Jisoo!” Jennie said in surprise as she stomped her foot.

Lisa and rose busted into laughter as jennie’s face lit up like a stop light. 

“What the fuck.” I said with wide eyes. I never thought she would have sex with him out of everyone. Im very surprised.

“Whaaaat!? It just happenedddd.” She whined to stop the shame from coming her way.

“Damn sis.” I spoke as my palm lifted to my face, ready to face palm myself in shame. Jennie rolled her eyes with a small smile as the other girls continued to laugh at her embarrassment.

“Whatever. What about you and baekhyun? He isn’t acting the same with you.” Jennie said with slight concern in her tone.

“You mean they aren’t being as gross as they were before.Yeah, what a blessing to us all.” Jisoo said with a scrunched up face. She’s probably thinking about that time we almost fucked on the table she was eating breakfast at. 

That was a wild morning. I smiled at the memories that came back from it and jisoo did the opposite as she thought of the same thing.

“Nah, i realized how he’s treating you. Do you know why he’s acting like that?” Jennie said with a hit to my chest.

“Yeah, i know why. He’s just being careful with me after everything. He thinks he knows what’s best for me. As if he’s my dad or some shit.”

“He kinda is.” Lisa said trying to hold back a chuckle after letting her comment slip. 

Im not impressed.

Jisoo hit her on the arm and shook her head. “Don’t make me cringe.” 

“Too late.” rose said. 

“Well shit, did you guys talk about it?” Jennie asked while messing with her hair.

“To be completely honest , no we haven’t. For some reason it feels like we shouldn’t.”

“Yes, you really should.” Jisoo spoke while folding her arms. 

They’re right. As always. How could they not be. If anything we should talk about everything that happened. How it affected us. And how it has changed us moving forward. I don’t know why i didn’t even try and do that in the first place. I guess i’ll have to find a good time to. Not tonight though. Because im planning on getting fucked up in every meaning of the saying. I think a conversation like that should wait for a sober me. Im not her tonight.

“Okay, i will.”

My throat felt strained when i screamed the lyrics of this song i haven’t heard in so long. Body moving on it’s own, and the alcohol in my system being the fuel to it. Im having a great time.

The dance floor is filled with rookies and other young party goers. Me, existing basically right in the middle with lisa, and rose, dancing like there’s no tomorrow. Our hips are somewhat connected as we moved to the tempo. I downed the rest of my drink and looked to my left at this guy placing pills in a random girls hand. I think he’s a rookie. 

Before i could even think about what im doing, my feet walk in their direction. 

My eyes focused on whatever it is in their hands. 

You said you want to get fucked up. Get fucked up. 

I grabbed one of the unknown pills out of the hand of the boy and inspected it. He looked at me, probably ready to tell me to fuck off, but his face changed when he realized who i was. I continued my inspection. This has to be ecstasy. I smirked and opened my mouth wide.

 Im so ready for this. 

A hand smacked the shit out of mine before the drug made it into my mouth though. Which is unfortunate. I looked to my left once again and saw rose staring at me in disappointment. 

“Just no.” She said lowly. 

My lips pursed and i shook my head, i feel a laugh coming on from out of nowhere. She grabbed my arms and pulled me back in the center of the floor. Where is that laugh that i thought was coming? It never came. That’s life. Randomly a burst of laughter came out of my mouth as i stood in between lisa, and rose. 

“Am i drunk!?” I yelled at the two girls over the music.

“Yes!” Lisa yelled back. She looks as drunk as i feel though. 

One thing i know is im not as drunk as i could be. I wanted to get shitfaced but i won’t because sex isn’t as good when you’re shitfaced. I smirked and turned. My eyes landed on baekhyun while he quietly observed from the vip hang out area. His eyes low as he looks down at everyone. His forearms always look so sexy when he does this. He suddenly ran a hand through his hair, moving the strands that fell in his eyes. That’s the man i love up there. Im so proud to be his. Who would have thought i would fall in love like this. I always thought i was so incapable of such a thing. He finally caught me staring at him and smiled. His hand made a small wave at me and i did the same back to him. 

No one and nothing could ever replace the place he carved in my heart.

“She’s getting shitfaced baekhyun.” Sehun said while squeezing my shoulder and looking down at aya. 

I breathed in slowly, continuing to watch my girlfriend dance around and about. Her outfit making every move of her hips so much more magical. Every few seconds she glances at me, and every few minutes she stares into my eyes. I know what she wants. There’s no doubt about it. The way she’s dancing, the looks she’s giving, the way she keeps downing drinks to tempt me to come down and stop her like i usually do. Two can play this game.

“No, she’s not getting shitfaced. She knows what she’s doing.”

“Whatever you say, hyung.” The guy said, already about to walk away.

My hand slapped to his chest to stop him. “Here, take this, hold it for me, it’s expensive.” I spoke as my hands removed the jacket on my body. Sehun scowled a bit at me for making him babysit a damn jacket, but walked away with it in his hands, knowing better than to not listen to me when i tell him to do something. I walked down the stairs slowly and watched aya the whole way down. When my feet hit the floor my energy changed. It’s a completely different vibe on the bottom. 

Just as i approached the love of my life she looked up at the vip area with confused eyes. I smiled and grabbed her by the hips before pulling her into a back hug. 

“Baekhyun!” She said with a slight laugh in her tone.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“What is this you’re drinking?” I asked her. Without waiting for an answer i slipped the glass out of her hand and into mine. Gulping it down quickly only to surprise her. She looked at me with wide eyes. She knows i hate alcohol, but here i am, finishing her drink off. 

Fuck. What the fuck was that stuff!? It tastes so fucking bad. 

I smiled at her and gave the cup back. “Let’s get more.” 

“Whaaat are you doing?” She asked, giggling a bit at me.

That drink is fucking me up. How was aya drinking this stuff so nonchalantly!?

I cleared my throat before speaking into her right ear. “Daddy can’t drink with his number one girl anymore?”

She grabbed onto my shirt in a sudden act of passion. “You can drink something better than alcohol.”

Ahh yes, intoxicated aya. The most aggressive aya. My laugh came out nervous even though i didn’t feel that at this moment.

Her eyes bore into mine so intensely. I feel like i can’t breathe. A smirk flashed on her lips before she turned around, pushing her ass into me. 

Our bodies moved as one. Rolling into one another slowly to the tempo of the song playing. The pants im wearing are starting to make me uncomfortable. 

Im so reactive to everything she does. Her touch, her stare, her smile, her kiss. It all just sets me on fire. She knows just how to burn me up just as much as she knows how to cool me down. There’s no one that could replace her. And having her here makes me realize how truly miserable i was without her. 

“Baekhyun?” My baby whispered seductively in my ear. 

I hummed in response she pressed her lips to my ear softly. “What are you thinking?” A teasing question flowed out of her mouth into my ear. Her tone completely drench in lust.

“Im thinking about how every time you touch me, i feel like i could die right then and there. My whole life being fulfilled at that moment.”

Her movements stopped and she flipped to look me in my eyes. 

“And when i somehow survive you, the feeling just replays. With every touch.” 

Aya’s eyes lit up with every word that came out of my mouth. I took her chin in my hand gently, slowly covering her soft lips with mine. Her hands became impatient as they ran up and down my torso. She wanted all of me. Even if it meant having me right here while everyone watches. The only thing is, i don’t have the strength to refuse anymore.

Please forgive me in advance. When i indulge in her at this moment. Everything i have been holding back will come out from the place i held it all down in. 

As always the kiss became more rough while our hands began to dig into each other harshly. 

I pulled away quickly, trying to remember how to use words. “I-uhmm, are you sure baby?”

“Who do you think i am. Of course im sure. I want you to fuck me right now. And i mean right now.”

Without even thinking anymore, i picked her up by her thighs. 

They’re so soft and perfect. It’s like this woman was made just for me. 

I carried her to one of the private rooms as her tongue played with my neck. 

“Are you ready babydoll?”

“Always daddy.”

“Im not going to hold back.”

“Me either.”

“Then what are you doing with your clothes still on?”

My voice became more and more hoarse as my head began to spin. 

“Too much?”

I turned my head to the side and let out a meek no. Im enjoying the slightly painful pleasure. 

My legs are crossed together and pushed up into my chest, as baekhyun continues to eat me out on his knees. I don’t know if its possible to be in so much pleasure. His tongue is making movements they never have before. He’s been at it for what feels like an hour. I don’t know how much more i can take. My eyes shut tight when he started to suck on my clit harshly. He moaned into me one good time and it brought me to my edge. 

“Baekhyun, no more please. Im gonna cum again.”

“Shhh, daddy’s eating.” He said playfully before smacking my right ass cheek quickly. “Don’t be rude.”

“I c-can’t-”

“Yes you can. Watch.”

His tongue entered my hole smoothly, going in and out slowly while his thumb rubbed my clit. Picking up the past after i screamed his name. The music in this place was hiding the dirty sounds we were making. But honestly i couldn’t care less if someone heard me,

“Shit baekhyun!” With another scream of pleasure my climax hit me hard. My legs shook as my back arched up off the couch. I couldn’t see anything because my eyes shut tightly. but for some reason that made it more pleasurable. I kept jumping at jolts of intense pleasure shooting through me. I couldn’t stop it. Baekhyun was still licking up the mess he made of me. The mans hands finally let my legs down from their position. 

I was still trying to catch my breathe when he got up and unbuckled the belt of his jeans. 

“I want you to ride me baby. Can you do that?”

“I can daddy.” I said even though my body was tired. 

I needed more. 

Baekhyun pulled me up into his arms and kissed me like it was the last time he ever would. His tongue dominated mine before he sat down on the couch pulling me onto his lap. My shirt, jean shorts, and bra were disregarded the moment we got into this room. He had ripped my fishnets for better access to my sweet spots. So all i have on is my thigh highs and what isn’t torn of my fishnets. Baekhyun seemed to be enjoying my attire maybe too much. His eyes so shameless as he stared at my body without blinking.

“I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but don’t ever give this body to anyone else. It’s all mine. Besides im the only one that knows what to do with it.” The boy spoke cockily while reaching for a condom and ripping it open with his teeth.

“Same goes for you too, playboy.” I playfully smirked at him. 

I looked down to watch him put it on before i took his hard cock in my hand and guided it towards my tight entrance. Rubbing his tip there teasingly, a groan escaped from his perfect mouth. He could feel how wet and hot i am. It’s making him whine a bit for me to put it inside already. Patience was never his strong suit in times like this. But i could say the same for myself.

“Shit.” Baekhyun spoke under his breathe when i sank down onto him. His hands grabbed at my hips while i twirled them slowly around his cock. My head fell back in pure ecstasy. He’s filling me up so perfectly. I can never get enough of him. And that’s saying a lot coming from me.

I went faster as soon as his moaning got louder, slamming my tight wet core onto his length. My nails dug into his shoulders, making him bite his plump bottom lip in reaction. Guiding my head head into his neck, i continued to take him inside me. It feels like he’s stretching me out a bit more than usual, my eyes keep rolling up into my head, and my toes are curling harshly. Sex with baekhyun has always been good, but it’s something about the teasing, the holding back, the fact i have been away for so long.  Such raw pleasure. It should be illegal.

My fingers tangled in his hair as i worked harder on top of him. Im feeling dirtier by the second. His moaning isn’t helping either.

“Fuck! Yes, yes, yes!” I screamed with my back arching. Im riding him harder than i ever have. I don’t want this feeling to stop but i can’t slow down.

“My dirty little slut loves her daddy’s cock doesn’t she.”

“Yes, daddy!”

“Cum then baby, cum on daddy’s cock.”

My eyes snapped open. I bit my lip in restraint. Can i be selfish?

“Not yet daddy.” I said meekly with his dick deep inside of me, throbbing in anticipation. 

“Not yet huh?”

My movements went from slowed down to completely stopped. My eyes locked with his impatient ones. He’s not having it. I can tell just by his expression, how bad he needs to cum. 

Baekhyun suddenly slapped my ass, making me jolt up. He picked me up and moved me to side of him, my back hitting the soft white sofa. 

“Ass up, face down. Don’t make me repeat myself.” 

A small moan came from me as i looked up at him. My body all exposed for his eyes only. His hair a bit messy and sweaty, His lips plump and dark pink from all the things he did with them. His member rock hard and twitching a bit. Baekhyun’s body is perfection to me. There’s no denying how bad i want him. Not like i want to though.

I picked myself up, moving my limbs that are feeling heavier than usual. My cheek pushed up against the seat of this couch and baekhyun made a sound of appreciation. 

“Damn, you’re so fucking perfect. Will i ever get used to this?”

“Probably not.” I said with a smirk. I know the view im giving him is delicious. I can feel my core dripping juices and my ass is probably still a little red from our rough acts. 

Just how he likes it. 

“Are you ready to go to the moon, my queen?”

“Yes, my king.”

My cheeks lit up as i dug my face more into the cushions. I have never been so happy to be with such a cheesy man in my life. 

His cock slowly filled me up while he used his hands to spread out my ass cheeks. I gripped onto nothing when he pushed into my spot. 

“I still remember all your sweet spots, babydoll.” He spoke with a roughness that made my chest stir. My back arching even more for him, just wanting him to fuck me into oblivion. Baekhyun gripped on my hips so his thrusts can be more aggressive. Hitting that spot just how i want him to. 

“Shit!! Faster!”

A little breathless chuckle came out of him right before he grabbed my hair roughly, my back completely arched at this point. 

He’s so deep. 

“Harder baekhyun! Fuck me harder!”

His member throbbed intensely when he dug himself deep inside me, putting pressure on that one spot. My eyes shut tightly when he slapped my ass. 

I can’t hold it anymore. 

“So fucking tight.” His hoarse voice had a low grunt in it, sending major chills down my spine. “Daddy needs you to cum for him. Right now.” 

As if on cue my eyes shut tightly, the knot in my stomach finally unraveling. Extreme pleasure washing over like a warm wave. I could feel my juices flow out of me while my body shook messily.

Two last strong thrust from baekhyun made him empty his load inside of me. Baekhyun gripped my hips to keep me in place while i came down from my high. 

“Fuck.” Baekhyun spoke under his breath, while trying to catch up to it. “I missed this so much.”

I smiled while pulling away from him. “I missed it more, baekhyun.”

“Did you?” The man asked suggestively. “Maybe we need to do it again, you know, to make sure you don’t miss it anymore.”

“Hush, baekhyun.”

The purple lights gave everyone somewhat of a pretty filter. Or maybe it’s the alcohol im sipping on. Baekhyun is seated next to me with his legs spread over the white couch of the vip hang out. I love when he sits like this. 

Everyone else left to the lower level when me and baekhyun disappeared into one of the private rooms. I guess they got bored just sitting up here, looking down on everyone. I know i did. 

I stood up to look at the dance floor. They all seem to be having so much. The two youngest men occupied the middle of the dance floor along with lisa. Chanyeol, and chen were in the crowd being hype men while wearing wide, innocent smiles. Rose is trying to get jennie to dance with the rest, which won’t work. I chuckled a bit. And jisoo, suho, and minseok filled in a private room to watch the floor in a more comfortable placing. 

In my past, making friends. and having people to trust, was never needed. Or that’s what i thought. Back then i had me, and that was enough. Enough to get by. Enough to get out of that orphanage at such a young age. I did what i had to, because i was determined to find the gold hidden in all the shitty dirt of my life. Then i met my girls, and i learned that other people are trustworthy. That other people don’t have to be my enemies all the time. Now, knowing exo, knowing all of them as trustworthy, amazing, and sweet guys, my horizons have been broadened. I know that it’s not just me, and im not in a endless survival war, fighting all alone. I know now i was always one step ahead. Only because of these assholes.They pave the way for me. I don’t know if i would even be alive without them. And in the case that i would be, i would have been somehow dead inside. These people have become something close to oxygen in my life. I need them more than anything else. And as long as they’re by my side. I can live.

“Aya!” 

My eyes snapped to a red haired disaster stumbling in from the front entrance and four other girls coming along with it. I sighed deeply as the one in front twinkled her fingers in my direction. “Red velvet has arrived no pictures please!” 

The five girls came barging in, rudely pushing people out of the way. My girls tapped each other in warning while the boys continued to dance without a clue.

If there were anyone other than taeyeon we try to avoid, it’s these girls. All they do is ask for attention and pick fights, which they always lose. Not to mention the million times they tried to steal from us, or tried to have us killed for “stealing” jiyong and his crew. Or the time they snitched on us and we went under investigation for three days. Good times.......yeah. The only reason we didn’t kill them by now is because they’re so dumb they don’t deserve it. But no matter how much we try to help they just continue to...well...be them.

Lisa looked up to me and mouthed a silent “what are they doing here.” 

I just shook my head in reaction. I wish i knew the answer to that question. Unfortunately they show up at the worst times. At least taeyeon always stayed far, far away from us. 

“Oh what the fuck....” I spoke under my breath in misery. Irene jumped in the arms of sehun sweetly and without hesitation he latched onto her. I can feel my gag reflex acting up.

“That must be sehun’s girl.” Baekhyun said calmly from the couch, phone in hand.

“His what!?” My feet stormed down the stairs in a rush. I could faintly hear baekhyun call for me and probably follow me but im not really thinking about that. 

“Uhmm where, why, and how?” A bossy tone lead my words out of my mouth without blinking. 

“I missed you so much, oppaaa.” The girl ignored me and continued to indulge in the young man holding her. “It feels like forever since i had seen you.”

“I know, honeydew.” He smiled sweetly like a child. 

“Im gonna fucking hurl.” Jennie said with an eye roll. 

I must say, i hate this just as much as i am surprised by it. 

“Oh, right, noona, this is irene, and her friends, call them red velvet, i met them at a club downtown. They are a smaller gang, you could say, but my girl works very hard to make it expand, like us.” a smiling sehun finally replied.

“She drugged you didn’t sh-”

“So this is the exo ganggg, very interesting, i always wanted to know more about you mysterious boys.” Joy cut me off in annoyance. My assumption just might be right.”You guys keep to yourselves well. Until the jiyong dragon thing of course.”

The five girls spread out, eyeing every exo member standing close to them. I hope they know i know what the fuck they’re doing. “Ehem! I get that you were invited but i think it’s better if you leave.” I said with the last bit of patience i have.

“I heard suho is the the boss but baekhyun’s running things.” Seulgi whispered to wendy, and joy while irene eskimo kissed sehun. Exo continued to stand around or pay no attention to the intruding woman. I feel annoyed that we always have to tell them who to watch out for. 

My eyes locked with jisoo, telling her silently that if i get ignored one more time, im going to bash a few skulls in. She quickly worked her way to the dance floor with a tense expression. “Alright, sehun. Not to burst your bubble, but you need to take these girls elsewhere, or better yet cut them off right now.”

“What!? Why?” Sehun said looking completely confused by her words. 

“Because they’re trashy and they’ll screw you over. Oh, and i can’t stand looking at them anymore.” I spoke in a bittersweet tone with an annoyed smile.

“Ugh. What. Ever. You have always hated us for no reason. Don’t let her talk to me this way sebear!” Irene whined.

“Wait....they’ll what?....i, uhmm....” The boy looked blankly down at her as she continued to act like a spoiled brat. To be honest i’ve never seen her act like this. She’s obviously putting on a fake personality for the boy. Who would have thought he was into the princess asshole type. 

“Now, sehun.” Baekhyun said with an arm thrown over my shoulder. It was apparent he couldn’t care less about these girls. 

“How about later.” Seulgi said cockily. My left eyebrow shot up quickly when i finally looked at her. Gun in hand, her smirk widened even more. Her long slender arms aiming straight for my head.

“You have got to be kidding me.” I said lowly. Of course they’re here to rob us. All we are is a come up for people like them. All this money, all this power, and this unbreakable bond we formed. There are really people out there that hate the sound of us doing well. These bitches especially. 

Everyone around us froze in surprise as the rest of red velvet pulled out firearms. Sehun, along with the surprised crowd, stopped moving. We tried to tell him his girl isn’t what she seems. 

“Alright then, one of you rookies go fire the body guards outside. Im gonna go bring the car around.” I said with my hands up in the air. I am simply not in the mood for these girls right now. I just wanted to relax tonight. 

The sound of a gun shot off loudly filling the room with panic. I ducked after remembering seulgi was aiming for me, and i think wendy too. A bullet blew past the top of my lowered head, penetrating the couch, then the floor. I grabbed baekhyun’s hand and ran behind the couch, hoping that didn’t hit anyone.

“What the fuck!” I yelled. Just when i thought i couldn’t get any more annoyed.

“Drop all your wallets, and jewelry, and you might not get shot down!” I heard irene yell. I continued to stay low, ducking behind the injured couch. I peeked above to see irene holding her weapon to sehun’s neck with a grin. 

“Fuck this being nice shit. I think i gave them enough chances to breathe air.” I said to myself softly. To hell with it. My hand reached for the knife on my person. It’s the only thing i brought and the only thing i need. My legs picked up the past as i crouch ran towards wendy who was running the pockets of some random guy that definitely isn’t a exo rookie. My foot connected with the girls face harshly, her body hitting the floor and her hand dropping the gun in it. Just when my instinct kicked in to stick my knife in her neck she whipped her head around in complete fear. My arm stopped in it’s tracks to analyze what i should really do at the moment. 

“Ughhh! You’re so fucking lucky.” I said before kicking her one more good time to knock her out. 

My girls had already taken care of the other unwanted guests, and sehun had switched the gun around on irene while she stood in front of him with shaky knees. 

“Shoot them all, i don’t want to see their fucking faces again!” I looked at suho standing from the vip area with a pissed off expression. 

Sehun cocked his head to the side quickly, im sure he didn’t have a problem now that he knows what’s up with her. But for some reason. I do. 

“Don’t! don’t shoot okay, they’re a pain in the ass but they don’t deserve to be dead.” I said, slowly walking over to sehun. 

“Nope! They tried to play sehun, held him hostage, and attempted to rob our club. They have to go.” Suho spoke sternly down at me. 

“Okay, then, let’s figure something else out. But let them live.” I pleaded with the man. I don’t even know why myself, to be honest.

“Hm, okay, bring them back to the house. All of them. I know just how they can repay me for the shit they pulled tonight.” Suho had a dark aura when he fixed the sleeves of his shirt. 

“W-w-what are you going to do t-to us?” Irene asked with a stutter.

“Oh, don’t worry. Im a business man, consider this as me taking you in as my employee, except every penny you make goes to me, either that or you can die where you’re standing.” The boss man spoke as he glided down the stairs, happy to have found another source of income, obviously. 

“He has such a hard-on for money.” Chen said out of nowhere. 

“Don’t we all?” I said with a slight chuckle.

“Yeah.”

The feeling of being under water has always been so inviting for me. I love how my body feels so surrounded and engulfed in it. The weightless but also somewhat heavy feel to my body. The challenge of holding my breath. Im much like a kid when i get around water. Then again i never went to the pool or the beach much when i was little, no matter how much i wanted to. I never really went anywhere except school, to be honest. My mother was always too busy staying home and waiting for my dad to arrive with a new girl on his arm to take me anywhere. I remember those days like they were yesterday. He would tell me that he faked being drunk just get a girl to drive him to his house. I remember how he would have sex in his car outside. And how i was so young all i thought he was doing was showing those woman the boxers i helped my mom pick out for him on fathers day. I remember the feeling of being alone in the world because my older brother ran away from home so young and left me to fend for myself. My brother....i remember how much i had wished i found him sooner. 

None of them ever gave a shit about me. But maybe my broth-

Air, i need air!

My body sprung out of the water while i flipped my wet hair out of my face. I was breathing deeply in and out to get rid of the deprived feeling i have. My hands ran through the soaked strands of my hair while i started to breathe steadily again. I wiped my face before opening my eyes. The blue sky of this warm early morning and the huge white mansion i live in, greeted me with what felt like smiles. 

Bad things have happened to everyone in there. Things that messed them up. But we found a way out of it and here we are. Living the lives of filthy criminals. I guess after we all struggled so much we weren’t able to think about struggling more. We weren’t strong enough to. Life punched us and now we’re finally punching it back. Making money the dirty way, and hurting others. Even taking lives. But to be frank, i don’t think any of us care about others anymore. I don’t think any of us would even think twice about pulling the trigger on someone now. We aren’t good people. We’re damaged goods. There’s no more denying for us. There’s no reason to. 

What’s so wrong with giving up on being right?

“What are you thinking about, baek?”

Aya’s voice startled me out of my thoughts. I turned to the side of the pool where she is standing, clad in a big t-shirt and slippers. Her hand was occupied with a cup of something, and her hair looks so messy from sleep, 

She looks perfect like this. So, so perfect. 

“I’ve been shot.” I said under my breath.

“You what?” She spoke loudly at the edge of the pool. Her free hand cupped her ear and her eyebrows raised.

“Nothing!” My chuckle bouncing off the water. “Good morning babygirl!”

“Morning...” She said with her attention switching to her now barefoot dipping into the water.

 Adorable.

Aya bit her lip and took her foot out. Her hand sat down her mug as she kicked off the other slipper on her left foot. I held my breath in anticipation of her next move, watching her take a few steps back and away from the edge. The girl suddenly ran towards the water. A smile growing on her face with every movement. 

A large splash sound hit my ears when aya dived into the warm pool without hesitation. Her head popped up out of the water as she smiled so brightly, moving her hair out of the way.

“I fucking love you so much, it’s insane.”

“What was that baekhyun!?” The girl yelled at me as she tried to dry her face more. 

“Nothing! Come here!” i yelled back at her. She paddled across cutely and in a hurry. My eyes couldn’t get enough of the site. If only there was such thing as a replay button.

“Hi.” She whispered when she threw her arms over my shoulders. 

“Hi.” I said back with a smile, my hands squeezing her waist.

“What were you thinking about? I saw you were in deep thought when i came out here.”

“I was thinking about life. Or the things that surround me, rather.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Well. Sure. I was just thinking about how, maybe i would have been different if my brother was still alive.”

“That is true. We all could have been different if that one thing that pushed over the edge didn’t happen.”

“But then i thought, it did happen, and i am different. And maybe im not living the best life. But i am young, and im rich as fuck, and i have you, and everyone else. I guess what im saying is im happy. Am i allowed to be happy?”

“I would like to think everyone should be allowed to be happy. But then when i think about the shit i have done, and the shit i will do, i think otherwise. On the other hand, after everything i have been through, happiness is something i had to fight for. Hard. Now im here, and im happy, and if this is so wrong i don’t ever want to be right. You know?”

“Yeah, i get that.” I said lowly while looking at her arms that are linked around me. 

“The real question is, how did you hold up while i was gone?”

“I was in complete misery. Is it possible to get physically sick because of your need for someone?”

“I don’t know the answer to that one, baek. But i do understand what you mean. Though i had to keep my health up, if not i would have lost my hope of getting out of there.”

“My babygirl is so strong. Too strong. Im kind of scared of you.” I joked with her and chuckled when a smile graced her face and my eyes. “That whole experience taught me how to man up, and it taught me how to be strong like you.”

Her cheeks lit up a light red color as she smiled shyly at me. She has no idea how special i feel. Im so happy to be the one that put that expression on this pretty face of hers.

“Well i learned that i can trust people, and that i love people, and that i can count on people. Also that it’s not only me in this world.”

“And don’t you ever forget that.” I said playfully. My nose nudged hers before she looked up for a second. Quickly she read my eyes. I hope she read them well. My lips latched onto hers slowly and she gripped on my shoulders. 

“How much do you love me?” She pulled back and said breathlessly.

“To the moon and back. I took you there last night, remember?” I said, a smirk accidentally slipping it’s way onto my lips.

Her hands dug into the water and made a quick upwards motion, splashing me in the face with chlorinated water. I struggled to get to her and stop the torture but my eyes closed tightly so i couldn’t find her. I took a chance and held my breath before diving for her and into the water. Her body filled up my arms as i fell into the warm pool. All i could feel was her struggling and the thick shirt she wore to bed. Our bodies popped up at the same time, missing that sweet oxygen. 

“You play too much!” She yelled with the cutest giggle and extremely soaked features. 

“So do you!” 

Im still young and im still figuring shit out. Im allowed to do that. I know as long as i have these people surrounding me. 

Everything’s going to be okay.

AUTHORS NOTE : Ahahahahaha! I did it! and yes the smut is shitty i freakin knowwwww!!! im going to get better T-T i hope.......anywaysss yall got to see more into baekhyun this chapter i hope you guys liked that uwu lmao you might get a look into chanyeols mind too soon...i mean.. what? hahah i hope you enjoyedddd if you did let me know i wanna talk more with you all uwu and also im about to hit 80 followers what should i do? 

kissesss <3333 ~ lailaaaa