#im like irrationally scared to post this

[twiixr4kidz]

ticci toby headcanons!!!!

taking a break from asks to write for my favorite character of all time :3 i've been mega-fixated on him since i was like 9 that's fucking crazy (also slendermansion haters dni!!!! im a slendermansion TRUTHER)

he smells like dirt and cigarettes and irish spring bodywash

actually he probably eats dirt

and occasionally gravel

he'll go on like, 7 hour long walks and collects dead bugs in a plastic bag and (tries to) pin them

he's the type of guy to have a pet spider

literally lives in the same musty hoodie and only takes it off to wash it

his music taste is a combination of numetal and emo, and hollywood undead is his favorite band

he's very 2000s older brother aesthetic if you know what i mean

he has a lot of body mods because he 1. thinks they look cool and 2. can't feel the pain that it takes to get them

lots and lots of stick n pokes

he has his septum, a nostril, both eyebrows, dolphin bites, n his tongue pierced (he did them himself)

he's in the process of stretching his ears and his septum too :3 but not too big cuz it freaks him out

he's literally always chewing on something

obviously really good at axe-throwing

his go-to snack is a cherry pepsi, cool ranch doritos or pizza combos, and sour patch kids

the woods is his happy place

he loves messing with his appearance :3 he thinks of it as just getting to customize his character

he keeps his hair on the longish side but you can't really tell because it's curly

he likes to mess with it every now and then n change the style (which you can tell by the faded raccoon tails and blonde-ish ends of his hair)

[venusmages]

i do think wyll is gonna give otho one of those warding bond rings in act 2 bc hes A Big Hero and doesnt like she sneaks off alone so often (it probably bit her in the ass at some point and she almost ate shit im sure) and she gets So Mad At Him for like 87 reasons only one of which (my life is not worth more than yours) is valid

[pompompompeii]

don’t know if this is weird or universal or what but Im so terrified of ever getting assessed for autism and its all done and they’re just like ‘nope you’re fine. nothing wrong with you there. you’re literally just a bit weird get over yourself’ what would I even do then

[oetscop]

developing an emotional attachment with a character and promptly hitting them with my beam that givesthem schizophrenia

[cyberluvzu]

TICCI TOBY DATING HEADCANONS

Ticci toby x reader

Hello people, I haven't written in years but I have some spare time and have been DROOLING over Toby lately so I thought that I could do this.

(please go easy on me I literally haven't wrote anything like this in 2 years)

- COMPLETE LOSERRRR

- Absolutely no dating experience at all

- You're his first everything

- And because you're his first everything, he gets incredibly nervous when it comes to doing new romantic things ( especially something physical)

- He wants to do all the cute couple things with you but he's scared that he's gonna end up scaring you off or making you uncomfortable

- At the beginning of the relationship he would probably be so awkward

- You'd go to hug him and he'd just stand there like🧍

- Don't get me wrong he appreciates the affection, he just doesn't know how to respond because he hasn't had a good relationship with physical touch

- After a couple of months he would slowly start to be more open to physical affection and being more romantic

- Just give the man some time

- When you get to the point of being completely comfortable with eachother he goes CRAZY BRO

- When he does get comfortable he is constantly on your ass

- He comes back from missions and immediately wants to go to sleep with you in his arms

- Bro doesn't even care if he's all bloody, he WILL have you

- You will have to pry him off of you and get him in the shower, or at least change his clothes

- After you get him to clean up he is all over you

- Holds you so close and just knocks the fuck out

- I also like to think that he'll bring you little knick knacks when he goes out

- Flowers, cool rocks, maybe a couple of things he got stole when he was in town!

- He's kinda like a crow

- In the sense of, if he likes you, you're gonna get some stuff

- He likes going on walks with you, it's nice just being alone with you, away from his life

- Is somewhat totally obsessed with you

- When he's not with you he is always thinking of you

- On his mind 24/7

- Totally infatuated with you, loves you completely.

- Has an irrational fear that he might lose you and doesn't want you to ever leave him, because you're the best thing that's happened to him

- Gets jealous, but not in the aggressive way, at least not with you

- Might go kill that person that was hitting on you, but you don't need to know that!

- Will absolutely be passive aggressive with you though

- Says little things to let you know that he's still upset at you

- He just worries he'll lose you to someone else

- Someone give bro a hug already

- Speaking of that, he absolutely adores your hugs, wants to stay in your arms forever

- He likes hugging you from behind

- He also really likes to silently creep up behind you and scare the shit out of you, but ends up giving you a hug to make up for it

- He just loves you

------------------------------------------

GUYS IM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES FOR Y'ALL TO REQUEST 😭🙏

I'm literally so in the mood for writing about silly little characters now, I have so so many more headcanons for Toby and all of the other pastas, but I'm gonna post this because I've delayed doing it for a while because I'm irrationally nervous 😭

[jinkicake]

Demons and Rejection

You use your pact against him.

Lucifer x Reader

Mammon x Reader

A/N: I’ve had this idea for a long time and I really wanted to write Luci angst.... im saving all the terrible smut I have to post for tomorrow. Idk why my favorite ideas always turn out the worst.... #fool,,,, I wanna write mammon fluff nowwwwww

WC - 1.6K

~~~

Lucifer

“No, don’t touch me!” 

In the midst of a disagreement, your rejection of Lucifer’s touch only serves to make him angrier. A wave of shock washes over his entire body as his eyes widen at your words. He carefully watches your every move, how you take a step away from him and your pretty eyes narrow into a glare.

Right now, you just want out of this tense situation. 

The Avatar of Pride wants the complete opposite. 

“You think you can run from me?” In a flash, horns appear on the top of his head and four wings sprout from his back. Lucifer, though he’ll never admit it, often acts irrationally in the heat of the moment. His anger gets the better of him and he does things he would never do without a good moment of thought. 

You’ve dealt with him like this, in his devil form, countless times before but it never gets easier. The anxiety in your stomach never settles and the fear in your heart never makes you feel any braver afterward. Stubbornly, and stupidly, you hold your ground like you always do. You want Lucifer to think you’re unphased by his childish move of acting out. 

“Human,” He lowly murmurs as he steps closer to you, instantly closing the gap you created just seconds before. There’s a tight twitch in his jaw as he clenches his teeth but, you make no move to run or to look away. “you must think so lowly of me-” His hand tries to wrap around your bicep, Lucifer reaches for you and with just mere centimeters resting between your skin and his fingertips, he’s met with a barrier. 

A physical barrier that keeps him from touching you. 

His heart twinges painfully deep within his chest as fear subtly starts to creep up his spine. 

“Undo this, (Y/N),” His threat doesn’t mean much to you and you try to ignore the dangerous glint in his eyes as he stares down at you. The dark red of danger masks his growing desperation. “now.” 

You slightly purse your lips in thought, still glaring deeply into his expressive eyes. 

But, Lucifer isn’t the most patient demon when it comes to getting what he wants. He bites back a curse and reaches for you once more. Again, he’s met with the same fate and a physical reminder that shows him just what his cruel actions can be punished with. It isn’t so much that you can overpower him that scares Lucifer, it’s the fact that you can now deprive him of the one thing he desperately needs. 

His heart thrashes wildly in his chest, pupils grow wide at the realization. 

If you choose, you can leave him behind forever and there’s nothing he can do to stop you-

“Enough of this,” Lucifer sucks in a deep breath, ultimately calming himself down for the moment. It’s enough to help him think rationally for now. “listen to me, (Y/N).”

“No.” You spit out lowly and the threatening tone of your voice catches the demon off guard. “You listen to me, Lucifer. I want you to leave me alone. Don’t come near me until you’ve calmed down.” The pact slaps the command in his face and the demon is left stunned and speechless. “I don’t want to see you like this.” 

Like this, in his demon form. 

Shame almost instantly seeps out of his skin the moment you start to walk away, no doubt retiring you’re to your room for the night. Your words wash over him in waves and at the shut of the door, his wings have retreated and horns have disappeared. 

His fingers twitch at the desire of wanting to touch you and Lucifer feels frustration fill his entire body, spilling out of his ears. 

Anguish is truly starting to get the better of him. 

No matter how hard he tries, he can’t take another step after you because of the pact. The demon can’t move, not until you’re out of his sight and his reach. 

Lucifer nearly starts to thrash his powerful limbs around in an attempt to break the command but, the onset of mixed emotions has tired him out rather quickly. So much has happened since your disagreement that started half an hour ago. Right now, the older demon is so unbelievably pissed that you would punish him like this. Lucifer can’t wrap his head around the fact that you would deprive him of your touch, of your space, of your comfort. He’s so angry, seething with it and there’s nothing but guilt fueling the red in his vision. 

Because Lucifer knows he deserves this, he deserves your punishment and so much more for the way he tosses you around as if you're a human stress ball. He’s disappointed with himself, disappointed that his actions would drive you away so cruely. Lucifer can’t even remember what the argument was about, him not taking a break, or him being too harsh on his brothers. All he knows is that the problem at hand was himself and he hates to admit it. 

He can’t admit it because of his pride, which is why he finds himself once again all alone. 

It’s much harder this time with you not by his side. 

Mammon

“You did what?!” You screech from your bed, gripping your hair in disbelief as the soft strands fall limp under your harsh touch. 

“I-I took each brother’s credit card, so what?” Mammon clicks his tongue and tries to mask the anxiety he feels while staring at the look of horror on your face. “Let’s go check out the new arrivals in those stores you like!”

“So what? So what? Mammon, they’re going to kill you!” At the moment, you find it hard to breathe and all you can think about are the worst-case scenarios of six demons and their unmovable anger. 

“They can’t kill me,” Mammon murmurs and moves his stare down to the floor, he starts to feel a little shameful being the cause of your worry. He’s the second strongest after all! If anyone tried to kill him, only Lucifer would be successful and his brother would never do that-

“Mammon. Return their cards now before you do any damage.” Neither of you realizes it, but it’s a direct command that leaves your lips. 

Mammon immediately refuses. 

“No way, that’s a stupid idea.” He waves you off with a flick of his wrist, his eyes trained on your purple walls. Mammon can’t bear to look at you right now, not when your glare can make him flinch and freeze all over. 

“I don’t care if you think that’s a stupid idea. Go do it, now!” Something snaps in him at your specific words, almost like a slap on his back to get him to start moving. His body reacts before his brain and Mammon can only watch in horror as his feet move without his consent. 

“Hey, what did you do? Let me go!” Mammon grits his teeth at being overpowered so easily, no matter how hard he tries he can’t fight the natural movement of his body. 

“I didn’t do anything?” You quickly stand up from your bed and follow after him. The attempt to stop him by wrapping your arms around his waist is pointless, you end up being dragged when you try to pull him back. Mammon blinks, glancing at you as his hand securely wraps around the door knob. 

“It’s the pact, undo it, human!” Had you not known him any better, you wouldn’t have noticed the slight yelp in his voice. Softly, you let go of your grip around his waist. 

The pact got him to do this, huh?

“Mammon,” You sweetly call after him and the demon can’t decide between swooning at your honeyed tone or becoming suspicious because of your actions. 

His mind is made up in less than a second since he can never deny you. 

“Yes, my dearest?” There are hearts in his eyes, in the shape of you and only you-

“Apologize to your brothers too,”

Those hearts almost instantly shatter. 

“WHAT?”

“You will give back their credit cards and apologize for it too.” 

Mammon swallows a curse that gets trapped between his lips, he stares at you in disbelief for a brief moment before he closes the door in your face. It’s not as if he had much of a choice in the matter, not with his body moving on its own. 

His body is moving straight to Lucifer’s office. The only thing Mammon can do in mental preparation for his impending doom is slow down his steps just a bit.

“Damnit.” If he survives this, he’ll be sure to punish you in some way. Maybe he’ll ignore you or not get you a gift for a whole day! In the midst of his planning to get back at you, the sound of your door opening impedes his thoughts. “Oh, you changed your mind? Great, let me go.”

“Mmm, no.” You slowly tap your chin, a devious smile spreading on your lips. If Mammon wasn’t so irritated right now he would have tripped at his heart skipping a beat in his chest. “You can’t come back here until you’ve given each of them all their cards.” This order is more specific than the last and Mammon sucks in a deep breath at the brunt force of it. 

It’s not like he has the right to deny you. 

“You dumb human, when I’m free of this- you better run!” Mammon yells back at you, but the effort is useless since he gave up on this conflict ten steps ago. He knows he can’t fight you in the slightest but, that doesn’t mean the same for you. 

The anger that passes through your eyes makes him squeak.

“You dumb demon, because of that threat you can’t sleep in here for a week!”

Mammon gasps in horror at your words, a terrible ache builds in his chest. You wouldn’t actually deny him of you, would you?!

The current effects of the pact are now the least of his worries. 

[gaypastabake]

sad Edge head-cannony rambles

hey um uhhhh [Spoilers for the entirety of Sparks of Hope] and also TW: mentions of trauma ok thanks

Ok so im not really sure how to format this post, I just really wanted to talk about an important head-cannon of mine for Edge and I had so many ideas relating to it but no motivation to do any of them, like I started a short comic but don't want to finish it, so im just going to go on a weird ramble because that's all I know how to do.

Ive had a head-cannon for a while that Edge doesn't respond well to any sort of physical contact, like if somebody were to put a hand on her shoulder in a friendly manner she would interpret it as an attack and would punch them. Given that when she was created by Cursa she never had any kind of support group or friends she could really trust, its likely she's never been hugged before either, and even if she has been hugged during her spark-hunting days those people are long dead to her.

Edge has difficulties showing any kind of emotion given the circumstances of her creation, she was made to hunt sparks and nothing else. She was discouraged from feeling strong emotions as it could be a distraction from her task, and likely isn't used to showing her feelings. Not only that but the only people she had ever trusted turned their backs on her because she cared about the sparks, and was likely mocked and ridiculed for that sentiment.

In my personal head-cannon that's why Edge is so reserved and isolated from the rest of the Mario + Rabbids crew, because shes scared of putting herself in a situation where she appears emotionally vulnerable because of the incident with the spark hunters. In every cut-scene when everyone is on the WM-ARC she's always as far away from everyone else as possible, because she doesn't like getting close to people due to her own insecurities. She appears angry or indifferent all the time because she either doesn't know how to process or actively refuses to acknowledge her own thoughts and feelings, and is resorting to acting headstrong and annoyed

Something I wanted to write about in the Mario Rabbids fic I was planning is the possibility of Edge coming to terms with her emotional ineptitude and fears of getting close to people both emotionally and physically. I feel like in an instance where if she were in a relationship (platonic or romantic) with someone it would take her a while to get used to affection, she would get irrationally uncomfortable and stressed with physical contact and would likely try to ask for boundaries until she feels more comfortable putting herself in a vulnerable position. There's a scene ive planned in the fic where Edge finally feels comfortable and asks to cuddle, leading to her finally breaking down because she's never been used to real and genuine affection from another being.

guhhhhhhh there are allot of thoughts I have about her and if I think of any more head-cannons I will certainly talk about them without revealing too much of the plot for my fic.

I included the drawing because I felt this post would feel empty without it, especially since I tend to word vomit when talking about things I like. sorry if some of my thoughts are not coherent im not good at wording things.

[turnin9pag3]

i say that i am going to kill myself and im not even sure if i am joking or not anymore. because my mustles are weak and i feel my bones creak every time i stand. and i look in the mirror and im not sure i like who is staring back at me. i hate my face. i hate my body. i hate my hair. i hate that my nose is too big and my lips are too small. i hate that my teeth r too yellow and crooked and my face is too red and pimpled. i hate that my eyes are too dark and my eyebrows are too light. i hate that i hate everything about how i look but i cant fix it because wearing makeup feels like playing dress up and i dont even know who i am anymore. i want to be human but i think im well past the point of humanity. i am untouchable to all but myself yet your mind is your own biggest critic. so i hate myself and tell everyone i dont because i dont know what to think.

so i say i am going to kill myself and i can no longer recognize the humor in a statement that feels so true. though i guess it has to be false because the sad truth is i simply do not have the guts. it has been like this for as long as i can remember and nothing has changed yet here i am so i don’t see myself leaving anytime soon even if i wish i could.

i remember being 10 years hidden behind the washer in my laundry room with a rag in my mouth attempting to muffle the sobs. i remember walking to my room after like nothing happened and no one ever questioned it. i remember writing a letter to my mother explaining how i was scared about how terrible i felt because it felt like it would never end. i was scared she would be mad at me if i told her. she would not have but the young mind thinks irrationally and i did not know what was happening to me. it is 5 years later and i still feel like that little girl hunched over and gagged by her own hand behind the washer, hiding from the family that made her feel like this. half a decade later and i still want to send that letter but its been too long and im too old to feel so helpless and im too smart to feel so sad and im too pretty to feel so ugly and i have too much potential to be wasted because i felt a little bad. that little girl has grown and wasted away and its too late.

so i tell people i am going to kill myself and no i dont really mean it. but dont i?

because i can see myself gaining weight and i am nothing special. because there are people smarter than me everywhere and i cant bare to pick up a book anymore. because i talk too much and i know im annoying but all i want to do is speak to you and you cant stand to text me back. im over eager and over chalant. i care too much but i will never care enough. i am an enigma to myself and i hate myself. yet i have never loved anyone more.

“you are an artist, and your mind dont work the way you want it to.”

if someone asked me who my best friend is i would say myself and my mind. if someone asked me who my worst enemy is my answer would not change. some may call that contradicting and maybe theyre right. or maybe they have never experienced my brain and they will never know the true beauty of hating yourself.

so if you ask me i will tell you that yes i want to kill myself without an ounce of humor. yet if you were to ask about the execution i would walk away laughing.

i want to kill myself but im weak and i wouldnt be able to stomach it. the bile rises in my throat as i hold the knife to it and it falls with my tears to the floor. at the end of the day i am still nothing but a little girl sobbing in a heap on the floor, jaw clamped around a rag, with a tear-soaked letter of self hatred crumpled next to her.

the only difference is now i am old and the letter is a suicide note i will never post because i will never need it.

i said i was going to kill myself and i meant it. but i did not mean physically for i am already long dead in every way but this one.

[scarletiswailing347]

discliamer since i havent really done that for these kinds of posts and i feel like this one is worded in a more demanding way than i usually do: any post of mine regarding what the ccs "should" do is less me actually wanting them to do what i say and more me speculating on the kinds of actions that they could take, not cause i think im smart or tactical or anything but because this is my idea of what fun is

im watching the tower vod rn and i think the only real way to deal with minute and jumper at this point in the server is to. not

like it probs wont be satisfying to the PlayersTM considering the kind of ppl they are (proactive, confrontational, plays along with the spirit of the server, self-focused morals) but considering the kind of ppl minute and jumper are (reactive, avoidant, prioritizes survival even if it means not great content, normative morals) i think its the only real way to engage with them when it comes to this kind of recursive conflict

like everytime they confront one another it keeps circling back to this moral debate regarding the ethics of killing ppl on fucking Lifesteal of all things and i highly doubt its ever gonna stop (at least for this season) considering none of the new members have really been traumatized the lifesteal way, i dont mean regular smp trauma like war and betrayal and all that jazz cause theyve already got that, i mean Lifesteal trauma: the realization that everything is a cycle, that good and evil doesnt matter, that feeling of hope shattering over and over again, that realization that in the grand scheme of things your ideals dont matter and the only thing you can truly hope for in the server are teammates and allies that wont backstab you, and that even then thats a tall order

so back to Not dealing with jumpertech, i dont mean forgetting what they did, i mean actively avoiding them, acting irrationally scared of them even when theyre being civil, fully putting them in the role of big scary villains, basically still putting what they did at the very forefront but acting like its an insurmountable trauma, planting doubt in their status as heroes, continually being the aggressors just cements in their minds that yes they are the heroes and that yes they are doing the good things

like whether the PlayersTM like it or not this is an unstoppable force vs immovable object kind of situation except the unstoppable force has more to lose by virtue of having a goal that can easily be tided by the immovable object

and i do think they can pull it off, they can lose a fight and lose so much that it breaks their spirit, like jumpertech have both been in kings, they both know how determined at least zam and mapicc are, surely it would be really offputting to see someone youre so used to seeing never giving up to do just that

[discoidal]

idk if im just sensitive but when blogs post abt asexuals and aspecs only in jokes i become. idk sad and kind of scared, semi-irrationally. like they're signaling that theyre abt to hunt me down or smth skdkkdnrjeif. ugh

[raveneira]

Aight its time to say it

Warning: Anti BoruSara post, dont like dont read.

Aight enough time has passed and now its long overdue to be said so Im gonna be the one to burst the bubble since nobody else is.

Sarada's actions in 78 did not solidify BoruSara because it mirrored the NH moment in the Pain arc, it actually did the OPPOSITE and showed how flimsy the ship actually is and how weak Sarada's feeling for him are.

People love this argument of 'love makes you act irrationally so that proves Sarada's feelings are more real/stronger than Sumire's because she acted reckless like Sakura and Hinata did while Sumire stayed behind and did nothing'

Now at first glace that does seem to be the case, but after the initial shock has worn off and you actually reread the chapter with a much clearer head, you realize how much damage this actually did to both the ship and Sarada's character.

Now what do I mean? to see the problem you just have to answer one simple question, what is the one major difference between the moment with NH and the one with Bsa? the answer is Pay Off.

What do I mean by that? lets compare the two side by side and all will become clear.

Aight I think it should be clear now, notice the difference? yea, the very scene they claim solidified the ship actually weakened it, the very scene they said solidified Sarada's feelings as more 'real' than Sumire because she acted irrationally, actually showed how flimsy her feelings really are compared to Sumire.

It's true that Sumire staying behind could give that impression, but at the same time people get on Hinata's case all the time here for how stupid her actions was and how she actually made the situation WORSE rather than better by jumping into a situation she knew she couldnt win and made Naruto snap so bad that if not for Minato's fail safe it would've been GGs for everybody and Naruto would've died by undoing the seal.

But Im not here to criticize Hinata right now, because all in all her actions were out of love right? thats the point of this post. So Sumire's actions actually make more sense than Hinata's was because she knew she didnt have a chance to begin with so why bother going there? just to get one shotted? what happened to Sarada is a prime example of WHY she was right not to go, because thats what happened.

But ok since yall wanna be hung up on girls inlove for real all acted irrational and ran to their mans rescue which solidified the ship, well this goes back to what I said the biggest and most important difference between all the other girls vs Sarada, and thats PAY OFF.

Still confused by what I mean? well I'll show you cuz it aint just NH, Sarada failed to be like ANY of the girls who acted irrationally and fought for their man, keyword FOUGHT.

The difference is night and day atp, when I say Pay Off I meant PAY OFF, and with BoruSara, unlike everyone else I showed, had zero pay off.

What do I mean by pay off? should be obvious by now but the answer is simple, when everyone else fought for their loves they actually FOUGHT, they didnt always win, but they TRIED there were ATTEMPTS made to protect them no matter HOW badly they got hurt. No matter HOW much stronger the enemy was than them they NEVER faltered when their love was in danger and were willing to fight tooth and nail to defend them as much as they were capable of doing.

THATS the sign of true love in the Naruto verse, not the foolishness yall try to make it as just acting irrational = true love, no, its ACTIONS which is something Sarada did not take.

The arguement of she was scared doesnt apply here, because if your gonna use this argument as proof it solidified Bsa then Im gonna use it to prove why it didnt. EVERYONE was scared in those moments but it didnt stop them, they didnt back down, they fought for their loves REGARDLESS of how scared they were, even knowing that they could die they still jumped in head first and FOUGHT.

I dont care how you try to twist it, turn it, flip it or reverse it, if your gonna use this argument then you gotta use it all the way, dont just talk about the irrationale, talk about the actions, or in Sarada's case lack thereof.

If you need more proof of how bad this looks on Bsa and just how this moment proves how not strong Sarada's feelings for him is, you need look no further than Haku.

I mean nuff said right there, Naruto learned where true strength comes from from Haku, which is that when you have someone whos precious to you, romantic or platonic, thats when you can truly become strong, as strong as you need to be, and this is shown time and time again all throughout Naruto through multiple characters who overcame their fears and fought for who was precious to them, unleashing a whole new strength they didnt know they had. It didnt always have to be some brand new ability, but simply just having the courage to put your life on the line for that dear person was enough to solidify who really mattered.

This is what kills Bsa in that moment, not saying the ship is dead obviously, but that moment killed it in terms of perception and their relationship as a whole. We can keep HEARING how deep their bond in, how close they are, how much they mean to eachother, but if you dont show it and instead show the opposite then people will have a hard time believing their actually as close as we're being told they are.

Just imagine Naruto talking about how much Iruka and Team 7 mean to him but we never see any strong actions that proved it, would you still believe their his closest bonds? if Naruto still says Sasuke is like a brother to him, would you still believe that if they barely showed the two of them bonding and being close like sibling? pretty sure you wouldnt, thats why its important to SHOW DONT TELL, because if all your doing is telling people but not showing them your definitely not gonna convince them that anythings really there like you say it is.

Even her bs MS isnt an example, because for every MS there was emotion and build up and the situation was centered around that character, it was THEIR big moment, a moment that showed just how much the person who triggered it meant to them, which is why yall like to use that as proof as well but even that just goes to show how weak her feelings are in the eyes of the narrative and mangaka himself. Sarada's MS is on the same level as Sasuke's half hearted sorry to Karin, it was short, rushed, moved right past like it wasnt a big deal and just went onto the next thing because her MS wasnt important for her character or the plot or even her feelings for Boruto, no what it was is plot convenience.

Plot convenience to convince Sasuke to save Boruto because he wouldnt have believed her otherwise, he needed to see her MS to convince him that if what shes asking is strong enough to trigger that then she must be telling the truth, thats literally the only purpose her MS served, a half assed way for Boruto to be saved, same way Sasuke's apology was a half assed way to address his betrayal and get right back to the real important stuff aka the war.

Again this goes back to what I said about show dont tell, if you want people to believe her MS was triggered by her strong love for Boruto then you have to show it which they didnt, her MS literally ONLY APPEARS when shes trying to convince Sasuke to save him, it was literally a deus ex machina because her eyes didnt budge an inch before then, it was literally ONLY when convincing Sasuke that her MS triggered, do you get just how bad that is yet? that her MS had nothing to do with her character, her growth, her feelings, her bond with Boruto, but just as a plot convenient way to bail Boruto out and then move on like she didnt just awaken a major power up? do you not see how pathetic that is?

I cant make it any clearer, 78 killed BoruSara's credibility as the most solidified ship, and her MS awakening purely out of plot convenience rather than actual emotion and then moved on from like it was nothing just killed it even more.

3 years have passed now and during a huge invasion with an Jigen level threat she doesnt even activate her MS once, and you want me to believe her MS awakening was a really big deal for her character and their relationship? this just proves it even more that the MS really was just plot convenience for Boruto to be saved, thats it, it had nothing to do with her character or her feelings etc, it was literally just a deus ex machina to keep Boruto alive into the timeskip.

It is INSANE to me how people see either of these scenes as solidification for the ship, all it did was prove how flimsy Sarada's feelings for him are and vice versa but thats a topic for another day, this post is just focused on Sarada.

When Boruto was about to be killed by Kawaki she blew one fireball and then buckled under pressure when it was time to actually square up and needed to be saved instead

When everybody was hunting Boruto down she just fell to her knees and cried, even after hearing him say hes going to kill Boruto she did not try to stop him and just sat there crying, and had Sasuke not shown up, she STILL would've been sitting there crying and Boruto would've been killed

Her MS doesnt awaken behind any emotion surrounding Boruto, but purely as a means to make Sasuke go and save him, yet she takes zero action herself to try and protect him and it literally took Sumire spelling everything out to her for her to even try to convince her dad in the first place, if not for Sumire Sarada was all ready to fall apart again and just sit there and cry until Sumire said they need to find a way to save Boruto but she doesnt know how they can which is when Sarada got the idea to ask her dad for help

Which leads me to my next point, since we established Sarada's feelings werent proven to be real or stronger than Sumire's, how does Sumire fair in comparison? well you can probably already guess but these chapters actually solidified BoruSumi alot despite Sumire not stupidly jumping into a losing fight.

How exactly? well lets start with 78, Sumire is being smart about the situation, she knows she cant help even if she tried, but she also knows reinforcements are on their way to help, so its not as if she left Boruto to fend for himself but she KNEW there were people on their way to go help him, her going there would just be in their way.

Sumire was actually trying to explain the situation to Sarada but she freaked out and Shikamaru gave the bare minimum run down of what happened and then she ran off, in this moment Sumire tries repeatedly to keep Sarada from stupidly running into danger but she doesnt listen. There are 2 reasons for Sumire not acting, 1 she knew she couldnt do anything anyway, and 2 because their supposed to be pretending to be under Ada's charm, so leaving Ada behind to go chase after Boruto would be highly suspicious since remember, their supposed to be charmed by Ada, so Boruto being in danger shouldnt pull them away from Ada if their both 'inlove' with Ada now.

You could argue the mission shouldnt have been more important than her love for Boruto but my response is why shouldnt it be? they NEED Ada to believe their affected because by them being the only 2 who arent means their the only ones who can take her out, blow their cover and Daemon will be on their ass like a hawk. Sumire rather than thinking in the moment, she thought long term, she knew people were on their way to help, and she knew she had to keep playing along to make Ada think she's affected, which would have been suspicious if she ran away with Sarada too leaving Ada behind.

But ok lets say I give you that and agree it wasnt a good look, lets move onto 79-80

Once Ada is GONE Sumire wastes NO time taking action, she immediately puts together what happened and contacts Sarada, SHE'S the one with a clear head with her entire focus on saving Boruto, she's running to meet up with Sarada so they can do something to help him even though she's unsure of what they CAN do, shes still going there to try and think of SOMETHING.

If Sumire never had this convo with Sarada she would have NEVER thought of asking Sasuke for help, it was only thanks to Sumire's explanation and level head that made Sarada act, not through any mental strength or determination of her own, but because of Sumire snapping her out of it.

As much as I hate this for Sarada's character making her this stupid and emotional, it was great characterization for Sumire that really showed her strong feelings for Boruto. She held herself back in order to play along with Ada, but as soon as that was no longer in her way she immediately took action, her mind was clear despite the chaos and she was determined to figure out a way to save Boruto with Sarada even though she had no idea how they could, she was still running over there to try.

So if you wanna be technical then thats closer to all the other moments of people fighting for their loved ones, none of them really knew how they would succeed or if they even could but they were willing to try anyway, and had Sarada not have thought of convincing Sasuke to go save him there's no doubt in my mind that Sumire would've looked for and found and protected Boruto, or atleast try.

But that falls into theory territory since we'll never know for sure how'd that play out cuz things didnt go that way, but you can just look at how the scene played out and see she was determined and planning to help Boruto in any way she could while Sarada was just on the ground falling apart doing nothing to try and help him.

Which goes right back to what I said, when its time for Sarada to act and prove her feelings, romantic or platonic or otherwise, she buckles under pressure, this is something even her own mother and father were able to overcome for their precious bonds, Sarada literally just sat there in despair despite knowing her childhood friend was in danger.

Sumire who's not even shown to be a fighter in the manga [yet] still got moving and kept her head on straight enough to analyze the situation and act accordingly, but Sarada the active ninja whos been through equally stressful situations before now and kept her head on straight now cant? yea, I think its obvious whose feelings are being pushed as genuine and more along what Haku described and whos isnt.

I really need to say no more, I already know antis gonna hate me for this if they read it but hey the truths the truth, when a girl or anyone for that matter in the Narutoverse is truly inlove they always take ACTION no matter what when that love is in danger, Sarada did not, case closed.

PS: All you Sumire/BoruSumi antis really need to thank Sumire, because if not for her your ship would've died, literally, because Sarada was really gonna let him die by not doing anything to help, so yall need to be grateful, she gave yall your 'moment'.

[technoneko2004]

ok its 7 am im going to let myself talk about stuff i never have rhe courage to tell anyone.

i think the main reason i keep doing this stuff, looking at nsfw art even when i dont like it, making secret 18+ sideblogs even when it clearly makes me so upset is just. cause i feel jealous and scared that i am missing something

i keep seeing people, including my own friends, share these posts about how "friends should kiss" and "friends should be sexual with each other" and then i started getting the idea that if i dont, then im like. missing a step of friendship somehow

like i see my friends have these 18+ sideblogs and theyre mutuals with each other and they talk with each other in a sexual way a lot, and im scared not being included is like, a bad thing. like it means theres a level of intimacy my friends have with other people that they dont have with me. we aren't intimate enough, so we aren't close enough. we dont talk as much, we dont share as much. im scared my friends like their other friends more than me, or at least they are more important or present in their lives.

i dont WANT to kiss or have sex with my friends. not at all. i never have. but im lonely. i want to be close to my friends. i want to be close to anyone at all. and i feel like if this is what i need to do, then i should do it.

im just jealous and Man ive been so jealous for a while now. i get so irrationally upset just to see my friends/mutuals send and receive asks from others, have conversations and internal jokes and references and fandoms im not part of. and its petty and not healthy and i Know it but i also know i dont have anything against My Friends' Other Friends im just so so scared of being left behind, or just. not being that important or cared about even by the people i consider my friends. i just want to feel like im truly important to someone, close to someone. im so lonely and so scared and i dont want to end up alone again. im starting to think this really isnt about sex at all. im sorry im done now

[skunkes]

im interested in starting to sell my own stickers this year and i wanna know how do you manage urs?? feel irrationally scared abut sending things out myself (LMAO) and would love to hear if u have any tips or things u wish ud know when making ur shop..............

i feel yu might be asking the worst person for dis but also maybe the best because I really dont do anything fancy?

I send out my stickers sealed in a mini envelope inside the bigger main envelope with handwritten thank yous and a thank you stamped onto it and such...like...no business card no cute little decorations or anything and i dont have the means to get to post office so i drop em off at my mailbox.... what im saying is it's not very difficult esp if youre starting out small! and it gives you the chance to adjust and figure out what you need!

in my case i felt it was important to get a little custom rubber stamp to add more flair without working myself too much or creating more waste (for example)...some ppl get stickers or stamps of their home address to skip that step (and. i might too lol) but otherwise i cant really think of anything bc I don't do Much, but I hope that also like? makes it less scary? ykwim? like if i've gotten by with it just being barebones...

if you have any specific questions i can try to help...idk if i interpreted dis wrong ^_^ if you mean actual shop managing i use bigcartel and it manages inventory for me + you can easily track what you've sent out, and if you mean Physically Managing i got a container with many little drawers from the Container Store i put em all in !

[dogstarblues]

accomplishments 3/8/24

walked my dog

ran an errand to get my medicine (another black girl told my my hair is beautiful 😭 feeling highly blessed bc i was convinced it was a mess today)

ran an errand to give my dad a belated present

talked to my dad for 2 hours and didnt have a meltdown

ran to dunkin for a drink

ran to the grocery store to pick up a few things

read a book to cross off an item on owned TBR list challenge from The Server - hated it but i read it

sewed in lining partially for my friend's bag that i made

listened to an audiobook that just happens to be on the book bingo challenge sheet i made for myself

listened to Media Club Plus

made breakfast

made dinner

made the snack i posted earlier

filled out interview questions

this was the most ive been out on errands in almost 2 years. maybe 2 full years. the most ive driven my car in almost 2 years. possibly tbe most ive been on my feet. and i feel okay. i still dont want to hope im getting better. im scared this is just feeling okay for now. im scared ill go back to how i was. that i'll regress. im scared that this isnt progress at all that its a fluke. and thats the thing is: my CFS isnt going away. even if im going into remission something could trigger it years down the line and i could get sick again. i have to live my life constantly cautious from now on.

i wanted to do work today but seeing my dad took a lot out of me mentally. we talked about some heavy topics (my mental illness, my chronic illnesses, scratched the surface of my financial trauma that he partially inflicted on me) and like. idk. i dont think my dad knows how crazy i am. he had like an expression of fear??? almost??? when i told him (only slightly!!!) what mania is like and wbhat psychosis is like and that i still get delusions like that time this january i cut myself off from almost everyone for a week because i was convinced i was being shunned by everyone. or that time several years back i was up til 4am tearing apart the apartment and ranting trying to find the source of a smell that didnt exist in the space (burning cinnamon). like im delulu. ive made my peace with it and look at my irrationality with a fondness now. but im delulu. and always will be.

anyway i dont think he ever bothered trying to understand what bipolar disorder and chronic illness was until now, when he retired. idk something changed after his first year of retirement, its like he actually listens to me talk aboht my experiences instead of like reminding me over snd over that my birth parents gave me up and didnt want me and constantly bringing up my childhood instead of talking about my life now. hes less exhausting now is what im saying. still get flashbacks from seeing him tho.

tldr: i djd a lot. idk how to feel abt it. im scared to hope. today was mentally draining.

[spaceagebachelorstan]

my interests tend to be incredibly specific (eg if im really into a piece of media i tend to only focus on one character and am generally disinterested in anything not related to them) but i get so irrationally scared that making content of only that specific part is somehow rude or insensitive to the media as a whole or people who like the rest of that media so i can never make content of only the thing im interested in and end up only posting whole media fanart and stuff or having any shipping content have general points or multiple ships despite the fact that its my account and i can do what i want with it. it transcends favourite character at this point they are actually my whole life and everything i think about includes them even if its only my imagination or thinking about how theyd react to something irl happening to me

[finsterhund]

Apologies for last night.

The combination of ear infection pain and having phone call with my mother where she, unprompted, brought up the family farmhouse, set me off into an episode and I reacted very irrationally.

Looking back on everything, I still agree with what I said, but the way I said it was very aggressive and without a filter so I apologize if it was distressing. I am deleting most of what I posted because of this.

After Scott cuddled me and licked my tears away and my roommate took me to the toy store and I got ear drops (the same that I had leftover but not expired) I am feeling better. Still really down and emotionally vulnerable, but I think I'm stable right now at the very least.

I am now making the effort to remind myself to take my meds. I slipped up post surgery because my mental health and sleep schedule has been all over the place but that's really irresponsible and going without my meds has for sure been what exacerbated this issue last night.

Unfortunately, solving the problem will not be possible. I will have to bide my time and wait until I can talk to my mom's cousin face to face in order to get a serious line of communication in about the house. What's important is it's still standing, there's no squatters, and nobody has died in or damaged the place. I have faith that someone other than my mother will be able to rationally assess that I am serious and have a functional and rational ten year plan for making the place livable on my disability budget and my physical limitations. Truth is, I do not think rationally about this house sometimes because of how important it is to me, and my mother among other things does not see any value in what means a lot to me and what I find important which is the crux of the issue. Additionally, having confirmation that she does not listen or care about what I like to talk about or my interests was especially gutting. Her being legitimately shocked that I knew about things like the Amityville manor and the watcher house when she was telling me about a magazine on haunted houses she had read (as an attempt to dissuade me and make me paranoid and drive me away from our house) even though when I was still living with her and actively into dumping about these very topics and making art about my love of supposedly haunted and cursed colonial homes I think was the last straw. Because it showed she actively did not care to remember that this has been something I've been extremely passionate about. And how she essentially tried to use fake ass ghost stories (that I am obsessed with) to exploit my mental illness and make me too scared of what I'm passionate about I think was the final straw. She's still operating under the logic of when I was a toddler and she fear mongered me about shit like demons and the mark of the beast and how that used to work, which in hindsight was extremely manipulative on her end to do.

I just wish more than anything that I could have my grandparents back. That I had been old enough to take over the place when they died. Because my mom so confidently likes to tell me that nobody wanted it as the reason it was left to rot. Even though I always wanted it. I never wanted her to take me away. I still know the floorplan like the back of my hand. Other than the Spot house and my old elementary school, that place is the only true "home" I've ever known.

I'm really autistically fixated on objects and places. I get really involved in my location and my environment and things I can touch and feel. She might be happy living in a cramped little apartment that she's paying a shithead way too much in rent but I'm not. I want space I want a home. And her telling me dismissively that Im not a licensed electrician or a carpenter as justification for how I wouldn't be able to fix the house when the fact that I have no space for a woodshop or to work on large scale projects is the only thing stopping me from self training in these fields and more is infuriating. I want to be able to self sustainably build my own structures and wire them up and so on so forth. That so many things I have passions for, from construction to metalworking to even my stuffed animal sewing, they need space. I wish more than anything I could be doing, but I can't because I am sharing a tiny little cramped overheated box with another person, well that just drives me into a psychotic rage. She is taking the problem and pointing out the solution but refuses to put the two together. And no amount of me telling how I know how to solve various problems will get it into her head that "yes, he knows what he's talking about" and that is so fucking infuriating. I try my hardest to explain everything and she actively refuses to listen.

It's like talking to a brick wall. And that is the closest I have to family that's left.

I dunno. It's just one of those things that's infuriating. I will never be able to prove that I can fly because I'm locked in a cage. And the only way someone will help me out of the cage is if I can rub it in their face that I can fly. All I fucking wanted was a parent who could believe in me. And I don't get that.