#im like literally a martyr or something

[subsequentibis]

couldnt find the original edit of this so i had to remake it. anyway me with khamsin

[strwbrymlkshake]

who up praying for downfalls 🤨

[steelycunt]

he’s just my favourite little liar. in the whole wide world

[stinkrascal]

the worst take i have ever seen is when someone on here said that basically anything horror related is just goreporn and theres no reason for things like that to be in art and, worst of all, people are bad if they enjoy things like that. like idk how else to tell you this, but disregarding an entire genre of storytelling just bc you think its icky is the antithesis of art imo. im sorry not every story follows a disney formula so its easier for you to grasp the main point:( must be rough

[widevibratobitch]

.

[olliecoded]

oh god i feel so insane i feel so insane

[dekusleftsock]

HMMNGGGSHSHHSHD IM SO LATE TO THIS BUT THERES SO MANY THINGS IVE WANTED TO SAY FOR SO LONG AND IVE JUST BEEN TOO DEPRESSED OR BUSY TO DO IT

I did just re-read the chapter, hazbin/helluva hyperfixation is gone y’all I’m back and ready for more.

Okay so, a couple of things I noticed. Let’s start there.

Throughout this chapter, it really is heartbreaking to see how Izuku regards one for all as Allmight’s power, and therefore a disrespect to him to give that away. Which is quite frankly insane given the nature of what the power is, but regardless it still shows me just how deeply he still cares for and admires allmight.

It also makes the transfer Izuku makes to Katsuki in the heroes rising movie all the more intimate; izuku wouldn’t just give the power to anyone, if not for himself (which is also clearly due to that fact since he still sees ofa as the thing that makes him a hero, not his characteristics), then simply out of respect for allmight and his legacy.

It’s just the anger you can see, feel in those words as he demands to know why. I’ve personally been in the boat of “Izuku dislikes Kudou immensely bc he hasn’t proven to be heroic and amazing like Katsuki has, and also he insults him a lot why would he like him”, since Izuku does genuinely have self respect (a common mischaracterization imo), he’s just also more forgiving and faithful to those he admires or loves (or both).

SPEAKING OF SELF RESPECT AND MISCHARACTERIZATION!

I want to highlight the words “But even so, this boy refuses to throw in the towel”, bc it’s such an important part of Izuku and his character.

He isn’t overly self sacrificial, he isn’t a masochist, he isn’t even a martyr—especially not a martyr.

Izuku is stubborn. That is not the same thing as wanting to constantly die for others; izuku is like Katsuki, he wants to fight for others. Giving up just simply isn’t in his morality.

And if “giving up” also includes letting someone die or failing to save someone out of his own negligence, that’s not because he wants to die.

I can’t explain how much the interpretation that Izuku wanting to die, even for others, is so fucking out of character. Izuku is stubborn, he’s stubborn in the way that he won’t just fall over and let the ground take him. Given the circumstances, Izuku would fight for his life just as he would fight for another.

THIS HAS BEEN THE CASE SINCE, I DONT KNOW, CHAPTER FUCKING ONE?

“Idiot! If I’d really jumped, you’d be charged with bullying me into suicide!! Think before you speak!!”

“Idiot…”

Like he’s so unaffected by the awful comment outside of being angry at the DISRESPECT of said comment. This is why all those damn suicidal Izuku fics have always felt so ooc. Izuku isnt a moody, brooding ball of depression, he’s a stubborn, courageous, and angry ball of depression. There is a difference.

Even before this, he literally attempts to say something or fight back to Katsuki, honestly it looks like he’s about to punch him here.

The only reason he DOESNT is bc HE DOESNT WANT TO GET HIS ASS BEAT

Btw for anyone who has or ever will be in Izuku’s position, punch him. I love Katsuki But hit him in the fucking gut. If you get your ass beat at least you can say you can took it like a champ.

Speaking from someone who regrets not punching three girls who were trying to gang up on me in middle school🫶🫶🫶

Anyway, I’d argue that Izuku not taking Katsuki in a fight was made out of self preservation, something he very much has.

And last but not least, we get to this lovely fucking page.

First of all…

Hm, ain’t that strange?

I’m not saying it’s fully a parallel, I’m just saying it’s something to consider.

Especially with the context that I don’t think Izuku feels shameful here.

He’s been a hero who didn’t look like one once before, I’m sure a snide comment through Shigaraki is nothing in comparison to the literal hundreds of civilians afraid of him.

Or, even more interestingly, what if he’s shameful of it, and okay with that? Now THATS some control over your emotions. This is demonstrating the very thing Banjo told him in the first place; using his emotions to fuel him. Let himself live with them, breath with them. They exist, and they hurt, and that’s fucking okay.

But it begs the question…. Why bring attention to it?

Clearly horikoshi WANTS you to see that Izuku is the one who looks like the monster now. He even looks devil like, blackwhip coming out of his back the way it is just feels like wings.

But maybe… maybe this is how he stops sweeping problems under the rug. Maybe this is him, Izuku, at his most animalistic form. Him. At his core. This is the Izuku he doesn’t want people to know.

The faceless, long clawed, oozing black monster.

He’s a kid who can take a fucking beating. He’s not Deku the useless doll, nor is he Deku the hero. He’s simply Izuku.

And you know what’s even more likely?

The black pit of anger that Shigaraki has formed, fueling his uncontrolled emotions and anger and despair, with the light tear showing something underneath…

What if, this was Izuku’s black ball of anger and shame, except this one is escaping his body, pouring out and showing all of that for what it truly is. Pent up rage, uncontrolled emotion, anxiety and shame, all mixed into one hell hole of a person—but a ball that can be molded, controlled, torn apart from the inside out.

See, the same way Kudou tears at Shigaraki’s mental breaking to see what’s underneath, so have the ofa users for Izuku. Slowly, but surely, the people in Izuku’s life have, while created that ball in the first place, also worked to destroy it. The final piece of the puzzle is for Izuku to choose to let it happen, and he is.

Learning to sit in one’s fear, doubt, hatred, anger, sadness, grief, happiness—without that emotion having to be something, simply something that flows through you, that you can choose to act on or not; this is where Izuku’s arc is coming to its tipping point. We are nearing the climax, I can feel it.

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 5, Match 2

propaganda below the cut! (wall of text warning)

Selena:

"truly probably one of the most beautiful women to have ever walked this earth. voice of an angel, dazzling smile, looks like she smells good"

"if u don't vote selena ur mexicanphobic /j"

Brian Molko:

"Gender"

"IM GOING TO EAT HER. He is soooo beautiful and freakish and small and weird and girlfriend and tiny like a little princess bug fairy. Literally gorgeous she has to win"

"When he flipped over the table with the little limp wrist.... someone find the video"

"1998 woman of the year"

"Brian Molko is peak gender envy, gender bending and being yourself without caring about other people's opinion, on top of all that he is a great guitarist that writes amazing songs"

"Brian’s gonna win this. I think we all kinda know that."

"Tumblrinas would be nothing without Brian molko"

"Kills her kills her kills her kills her kills her kills him kills her. He's my everything <3"

"He came 10th in the list of hottest women sometimes in the 90s. Gender goals."

"No one in the world can sound so nasal and look so angelic....."

"don't you wish you had his gender"

"Single-handedly took my gender by the scruff of the neck and threw it in a washing machine at full speed. He talked about not expecting to "get away with" passing as a woman to the degree that he did when he started purposely presenting feminine. He talked about the importance to fuck with people's heads through his appearance and behaviour, the importance of ambiguity. About how being in the band allowed him to do stuff he couldn't have done otherwise, to exaggerate some of his traits. He had the fuck ass bob makeup nail polish dresses stuff down, but not in an overly sophisticated way, especially in the early career 90s days the vibe was more shabby punk rock chick. Also he fantasized about being in an all-girl band called Skirt and playing guitar and singing backing vocals in drag. According to a 1997 melody maker interview bandmate steve hewitt called him "the most confused woman he's ever known". And if you go down that rabbit hole there's just more of this. Lots of material to focus on if you like genderweird bisexual unclean libertines (song ref) who will just say Anything in interviews. It's fun."

"I've drawn him as saints and martyrs such as saint sebastian and joan of arc. Or all bloody lying in a wet alley after being thrown out of a club. Or unconscious on a snowy road. Or dying in a glue trap. Or shocked after seeing a dead body. Also as a nun and as rose mcgowan in the doom generation. This is because I'm normal."

"She's a sick little angel faced freak. My theythem girlboy queen. He reminds me of an ant. He's like 5 foot 4 or something. My goth girl boyfriend. <3"

[kekisu]

a very popular headcanon people have (i Think its popular. at least a lot of my twitter mutuals agreed with me a while back) is that joker comes from inaba, and if youve played p4 you know that theres literally nothing to do there

so a big headcanon that i used to be obsessed with is that he would spend a lot of his days skateboarding or biking around listening to music and exploring old dirt roads.. and he ended up getting a special interest in bugs and reptiles because hed come across so many during his little solo adventures. hes also very well versed in fishing its not a fixation or anything but just something hes pretty good at

this is why i tend to draw joker like some sort of skater boy. i think hes always stood out a lot in this small town even before the false assault charge, like he wasnt disliked or bullied but he just didnt really fit in. and this didnt bother him. i think he only realized how boring his life was when he became a phantom thief and got all these new friends in this new big city that understood him despite the circumstances that led him here. like man i really used to live like that and see nothing wrong with it? i didnt yearn for more?

it makes it even more painful when he has to leave and they naturally drift apart. because they all have dreams and ambitions, and the best years of their lives are waiting for them around the corner. but joker is back in this small town where theres nothing to do but hang out in some food court or poke around in the woods. i imagine this newfound loneliness is really hard on him, not to mention the guilt for feeling like hes somehow to blame for. well, whatever happened with goro

to me personally i think goro lived. i think he mustered up the perseverance to bite and claw his way out of shidos palace after seeing that even someone like him has a chance at being loved, he just didnt really remember this in marukis reality because it was all a blur. so both goro and joker were completely clueless as to what his fate would be if they went back to their true reality, which is what was so scary. the uncertainty. he could very well be dead but how could they know for sure? i just dont like the thought of him dying before he could truly live, even though i understand the tragedy of it can be poetic, i just cant stand for him going out like that because i relate a lot to his struggles. and i think it would go against the overall positive message of p5r. sure not everybody gets to have a second chance or a happy ending, but. man. anyways

joker fully believes goro is dead though. he wouldnt be crazy to assume this considering how they parted ways in shidos palace. but it eats away at him and maybe he really does go crazy. maybe his life feels like its stuck in time and while his old friends are out chasing their dreams, hes stuck. broken and shattered over feeling like he couldve done something to save him, knowing jokers savior/martyr complex

im running out of steam and i didnt mean to ramble on about my post-p5r headcanons but, to wrap it up: goro is in rehab somewhere and has a service dog to help with his dissociation and mood swings. and a couple other stuff. he feels like if he walks back into jokers life itll mess something up like joker will just break down or something. so he keeps his distance until they cross paths again. im just very obsessed with the idea of goro getting his life together vs joker wanting so badly to chase that high of phantom thievery again but failing and being actually so depressed

man morgana must be exhausted

[grandwretch]

im literally so obsessed w/ sonetto btw like something about her being the perfect child soldier and being so excited to be a martyr but then when she gets older she starts to yearn for the outside world and softness and humanity and rebellion because she can't be a perfect robot forever but then when she's reunited w/ vertin, vertin needs her to be a perfect soldier, and vertin is so sad, and none of that excitement is in her anymore like aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh sonetto just wants to be free and her one chance of freedom is slowly dying in front of her. watch me fucking lose my SHIT

[sexhaver]

idk your aaron swartz crit is something i didn't know, thank you for sharing it. it doesn't make his death less of a tragedy to point out that maybe we shouldn't be hero worshipping someone who very much said those things, i think; JSTOR and the US govt and MIT are still very very wrong for what they did, and you're not saying that they were right!

yeah like first and foremost i want to emphasize that what happened to Aaron Swartz was very much a tragedy that never should have happened, and JSTOR, MIT, and the US govt all have his blood on their hands. the thing that i'm specifically trying to counteract is the conflation of "paywalling academic articles and other information is ethically wrong" (correct) with Swartz's personal free-speech-absolutism philosophy that "bits are not a bug". and the reason i keep harping on it is because this is not some incidental gotcha like "Marx was antisemitic" or "MLK cheated on his wife" where detractors try to condemn an entire ideology by unironically ad-hominem-ing one of its prominent figureheads with shit irrelevant to the discussion at hand. "child pornography should be legal to consume and distribute" is the self-stated endpoint of Swartz's free-speech absolutism! he views child porn as just a string of 0s and 1s, so banning child porn is basically like making a number illegal! he literally says this himself in the earlier link!

anyways im rambling but my point is that if you uncritically support Aaron Swartz's view of free speech you very literally support the distribution of child porn. he's a martyr for academic freedom, and his views on free speech are valuable as an illustration of where exactly a line should be drawn (if anywhere), but, again,

this is what you are agreeing with when you wholeheartedly agree with his views on free speech

[cult-of-the-eye]

If you had to kill one archivas assistant, who would you pick?

Oh my god this is the worst question in the entire fucking world wow!!! I love all of them!!!!

But I'm gonna answer it from a potential for Angst kinda way and which one I'd find the most interesting.

Sasha

Well first things first she did die but we're ignoring that for the sake of this question

If everyone realised she died directly after the Jane Prentiss Attack i think it would eliminate the added layer of guilt of not noticing her being taken by the Not Them and maybe allow them each to grieve a bit more? I think if they were smacked in the face with Sasha's death, then they could communally grieve before Tim got massively resentful and maybe Jon would be distracted by the grief to fall into his paranoia as intensely and actually try to support Tim instead. I guess it's a sad world where we're choosing between one type of death for Sasha and another but here we are.

Tim:

I know that hes gonna die but I haven't gotten there yet so I'm gonna imagine what would happen if he died in the Jane Prentiss Attack instead of Sasha. Sasha wouldn't have the same resentment and fury that Tim has, I feel like she'd would be determined to avenge Tim, I think she'd be a better protagonist than Jon, which would cause him extra Jon Guilt cause he'd be like why am I the leader of this whole thing Sasha would've been so much better than meeee and Sasha would eventually be like yeah bitch get out of my way. Sasha being alive would actually solve so many problems like actually. RIP Tim though, everyone would mourn his bisexual ass. Jon and Martin would grieve him normally and Sasha might make them go to therapy/talk to someone about it.

Martin:

If he died during the Prentiss Attack, he'd come back as a ghost. There's no other option, that's just what has to happen. Maybe it would be a chance for slight humour, cause Jon resolutely believed he's hallucinating for an embarrassingly long time before Martin's like nah bro...im a ghost. And he keeps Martin's reappearance to himself cause he wants something good for himself that no one can take away and they get closer and fall in love and everything but there's the added angst that he's a literal fucking ghost. The whole Peter Lukas arc is him slowly fading away as a ghost and Jon nearly kills himself to bring him back. In the end he does stab himself but he feels Martin push the knife in when he dies and he dies knowing that he'll join him.

Or alternatively, he's just gone. Jon would spiral with guilt and anxiety knowing that his last conversation with him doesn't excuse his poor treatment of him and that he died getting cut off from the others in the tunnels, he died scared and alone and worse, he died with the little bit of hope that things might get better. Tim and Sasha would both be devastated, they'd stare out at his empty desk and lash out with anger and fear and cry but in the end at least have each other to lean on. But Jon would be alone in his office with no one to give him tea. His physical health spirals and everyone's worried about him, the way Sasha and Tim have stuck together makes him even more paranoid that they somehow killed Gertrude together and no matter how soft with him they are, he still barrells towards the end with an even stronger need to martyr himself. It's bleak guys. My man is not ok.

So I guess if I could kill one of them off, I'd probably go for Tim's death cause Sasha being a better horror protagonist than Jon is actually so funny to me I think that would be so interesting but Ghost!Martin as a close second cause that would actually add so much depth.

Thank you for your ask!! I really enjoyed answering it!!

[aftgficrec]

This is the first time I’ve ever caught you open! Can you send fics of just neil being put through absolute hell. I only need it to be finished and to have a not totally sad ending. Im good with canon post canon and aus so really whatever. Thank you so much I find literally all my fics on your page <3

This kid just can’t catch a break, can he?

There’s plenty of fics we can offer you where Neil doesn’t have a great time (physically or emotionally), just see our list of recs from previous posts.  You’ll find more under our raven!neil, dark and angst w/happy ending tags (not all fics in those tags are complete).  

Please be aware of the trigger warnings though, due to their nature some of these fics deal with some heavy material.

Hope you’ll find what you’re looking for here! - S

A selection from previous posts:

‘Black As Is The Raven, He’ll Get A Partner’ and ‘Timeless’ here

‘hawk in the raven nest’  here

‘Take to the Wing’  here

‘Oh Raven’  here

‘Die Free or Die a Failure’ and ‘Night is the Raven, Day is the Fox’ (both completed) here

‘Scared to Live (But I'm Scared to Die)’ (completed) here

‘Not Damsels, Not Knights’ here

‘what it takes to survive’ (completed) here

‘Heartlines’ and ‘This Is What Hollows’ (completed) here

‘If Only I Were Enough’ (completed) and ‘don't break the glass’ (completed) here (part 1 of the glass series) 

‘Double Trouble’ series here

‘Out of the Ashes’ series here (Part 1 and 2 completed)

‘Make A Believer Out Of Me’ here

‘what if the butcher hurt neil permanently in baltimore’ here

 ‘here and where you are’ here

‘Pause and Restart My Heart’ series here

‘The Bones of You’ here

‘and in a flash, it’s gone’ and ‘(don’t fear) the reaper’ here

‘Creatures We Find in the Forest’ here

‘There Now, Steady Love’ and ‘Except When It's No’ here

‘I Hope You Lie To Me’ here

‘The Story After You’ here

‘and you thought i hated you’ here

‘The Morning AUs, Chapter 14: The Bodyguard AU’ here

‘If all else perished, and he remained’ here

‘stifle my choice and the air in my lungs’ here

‘Purple Skies’ here

‘Monsters on the Top Floor’ here

‘The Reaper’ and ‘TALE OF A MARTYR IN XII PARTS’ (both completed) here

‘The Nameless Monster’ here

‘Through our memories, we live’ (completed) and ‘Hold Each Other, Chapter 24-31: Go or Go Ahead’ here

‘Hold Each Other: Chapter 5: The Gun Still Rattles’ here, ‘Chapter 7: Nothing Always Means Something’ here

‘Calling Me Back Once Again’ here

‘Amor Vincit Omnia’ (completed)  here 

‘Run to You’ here

‘Ghost of You’ here

You may also find something in these posts:

Neil with depression/mental health issues here

Neil attempts suicide here

Christmas at Evermore here

What Lies in Wait by starwarned [Rated M, 23419 words, complete, 2023]

Neil is being haunted — or else he’s losing his mind. All he can hear are the screams echoing in his head. But he and Andrew have made it this far, haven’t they? Can’t they survive a little more? Based on What Lies Beneath.

tw: violence, tw: psychological torture, tw: kidnapping 

Pull Up The Ladder When The Flood Comes by WinterFrost250 [Rated M, 3248 words, complete, 2023]

“Neil-” Kevin paused and looked around the room. As if only just realizing they were surrounded by people, he began speaking in vehement French. “I’m sorry Neil I didn’t mean to look, I just-” Kevin glanced down at his phone, “It was just there when I opened it. I’m sorry.” OR Kevin gets sent pictures from an unknown number of Neils's time in Evermore and shit hits the fan.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: panic attacks

the boy in the basement by iriswords [Rated M, 3376 words, complete, 2023]

Part 21 of Febuwhump 2023 The Wesninskis are a well-known family in town. A macabre one, with only one survivor: Nathan Wesninski. Every day, Andrew likes to pass in front of the house on his way back home. He observes it distantly, taken over by morbid curiosity. It's how he notices the eyes watching him through the windows of the basement.

tw: violence, tw: torture, tw: blood, tw: major character injury, tw: implied/referenced abuse

next best thing by iriswords [Rated M, 1546 words, complete, 2023]

Part 13 of Febuwhump 2023 Mary and Nathaniel are caught by one of Nathan's enemies while they're on the run. Said enemy doesn't have anything against the two of them, but he deeply desires revenge on Nathan. And in the absence of Nathan, he chooses the next best thing.

tw: violence, tw: blood, tw: major character injury

keep telling me that it gets better (does it ever?) by phan_taloon [Rated M, 15415 words, complete, 2022, locked]

Except the cool steel felt too much like the cool cement of a dirty basement, it burned and numbed his back too much like- He wasn’t fine. But his meds could fix it. He scrambled to his feet, stumbling down the hall to the bathroom and yanking the cabinet open and grabbing the pill bottle in a fist tight enough to hurt. He shook one of the pretty little pills into his palm and he swallowed it dry. But one wasn’t enough. Or, AU where Neil never met the Foxes, with a little less mafia and a little more pain for Neil when he ends up captured by Nathan for months, and has to deal with the consequences by himself. He ends up in treatment for chronic pain with opioids, and let's just say opioid use is tricky when you're alone and in pain; one thing can lead to another more easily than it seems.

tw: drug addiction, tw: drug overdose, tw: withdrawal, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: vomit

no matter when and where, we'll be alright by jingerhead [Rated M, 11611 words, complete, 2022]

Of all the night’s events, there were only three things that Nathaniel really remembered clearly: the moments before the riots, being questioned by Lola in the car, and watching his father walk down the stairs to the basement. The last thing Nathaniel could remember was the way the light caught the blade of his father’s axe, blinding and terrifying as it was raised towards the ceiling. He couldn’t remember it coming down but it had to one way or another, right?

tw: amputation, tw: nightmares, tw: panic attacks

are we whole or just two halves/reaching out to the unknown? by Raphael_Stantiago [Not Rated, 18881 words, complete, Aftg Big Bang 2022]

An informant/defence attorney au, where Neil never left his father and was sucked into the family business, and gave them all up as soon as possible. However, when Neil meets his attorney Andrew, it gets a little more complicated. Cue them falling in love across various court cases, arrests and one on one meetings, all with the threat of witness protection hanging over their heads. NB: fic art by @oliviaillustrations here

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced violence, tw: dissociation 

All Alone, I've Lost the Hope by phan_taloon [Rated T, 6873 words, complete, 2021, locked]

Even now, lying in the cold concrete floor of wherever he is, surrounded by armed men and women, drowsy from a concussion and drugs, and body pulsating in pain from several places, he still doesn’t believe in regret. Even at the face of the bastard in front of him, the cruel smile and the hungry glint of his eyes, he’d always choose to stay. Even if the FBI may have been right to say the Witness Protection Program was the only logical path to choose with so many of his father’s men and allies still out there.

also available on tumblr here and here 

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: kidnapping, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: blood, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: depression

It never comes from your enemies by spectaclesandbooks [Rated T, 19408 words, complete, 2021]

"Name?" "Andrew Minyard," he pushes out through gritted teeth. “Well well well,” the man on the other end sounds amused, smug. Andrew waits for him to continue, his feet pounding against the pavement. “If you’re the one coming to meet me, I have to assume you’ve finally found a way to keep Josten on a leash?” The clink of metal, rough breathing, unseeing blue eyes, panicked pleading. When Andrew doesn’t answer, the Raven presses further. “Either you’ve found a way to keep him subdued or you’re not coming alone like you were told. Which is it, Minyard? I told you what would happen if you didn’t do as you were asked.” “Neil won’t be bothering us,” Andrew spits out, “he’s staying at home for this one.” There’s movement on the other end of the phone, presumably the Raven preparing to leave and come meet him. “Excellent,” he says easily. “That means you and I can conduct our business in peace and no-one gets hurt."

tw: violence, tw: blood, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced self harm

That one party series by Thegaydepression [Rated T, 13872 words, 2 complete works, 2021]

Part 1: Orange (T (we say M), 9237 words)

"Orange is for someone who doesn’t suffocate. But Neil does. He suffocates and he feels it clawing at his throat and beating in his ears and pounding on his chest" ----------------------- Neil thought he was fine, but then he goes to a stupid, loud, bright party. Neil thought he was fine, but he isn't. Not at all.

tw: rape/noncon, tw: violence, tw: panic attacks, tw: depression, tw: anxiety, tw: nightmares, tw: implied/referenced self harm

Part 2: Maybe Orange isn't Suffocating (Not Rated, 4635 words)

A second part to "Orange" ---------------------------------- Andrew is (not) coping Aaron is a surprisingly good brother Neil is not fine

tw: rape/noncon, tw: violence, tw: kidnapping, tw: dissociation, tw: panic attacks, 

hold me close (don't let go) by cake_lovin_ace [Rated G, 4123 words, complete, 2021]

Part 2 of weight of a martyr night by night memories of his childhood flooded his mind’s eye, all the things neil had tried his hardest to suppress. all the times he had been hurt; gotten the scars that littered his torso; been betrayed by the very people meant to protect him. it was like reliving everything all over again in vivid technicolor, and when he managed to claw his way out of the maze his mind trapped him in it was all he could do to remain upright and not crumpled on the floor; on the bed instead of hidden below it; dry-cheeked instead of sobbing hysterically. or neil struggles with memories of the past. andrew helps.

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation

what comes after nightmares by moth_writes [Rated T, 10146 words, complete, Aftg Big Bang 2020]

Father won't accept anything less than the best. Nathaniel shuts his eyes and wills himself to a dreamless sleep. Or at least one without knives and blood and pain. He's not successful, but the next time he wakes it is to an alarm and the sun in his window. It's the best he can hope for. ... Neil falls asleep easily, and he knows he has someone with him to battle the darkness back where it belongs now. Neil is thirty, and he is wrapped in his husband’s arms with two cats purring next to them. He fights his own nightmares, and he has his family at his side to help. He’s home. (Neil's nightmares and what happens after, ages 5-30.)

NB: find art for this fic by @i-did here

tw: graphic descriptions of violence, tw: nightmares, tw: child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture

👑 ROYAL AU WRITING MASTERPOST 👑 by @emry-stars-art [tumblr, 2023]

(especially the posts concerning Neil’s (Abram’s) treatment at Evermore)  e.g. Abram’s return from Evermore, Pieces of his recovery, Andrew taking over Abram’s care

👑 ROYAL AU TUMBLR LORE MASTERPOST 👑 by @emry-stars-art [tumblr, 2023] (comprises both text and art posts)

e.g. Abram's brands pt1 / pt2

tw: violence, tw: injuries, tw: scars, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation 

“Perhaps you’ll take me out one day — or do I have to make an appointment?” prompt fill by @ravenvsfox [tumblr, 2017]

His morning is a string of disasters that begins with covering the ER in the Sunday rush of hypochondriac elderly and fussy children. It’s one long stretch of kicked over paint buckets, a mess you can’t ignore, splattering the walls and getting on his shoes.

Art

andreil post-baltimore by @intradaya

It’s over. You’re going to be okay. We’ve got you. by @rainbowd00dles

"All that time fighting and you never learned how to duck?" by @rainbowd00dles

Sunrise, Abram, death: these are truths. by @boydsjosten

Neil Josten art by @runningwithhellhounds

Neil & Wymack after Evermore comic by @rijirain

Neil in the Wymack’s bathroom after winter holidays art by @eggpy

“Help me,” “Let me” by @rainbowd00dles

And if you make it out alive, hold that bloody head up high art by @pearsfears

I’m fine art by @laurafromnowhere

Nathaniel/Neil gif by @queen-of-perplexity

hurt Neil by @rhyva

[northern-passage]

Oh are you a Soulsborne enjoyer? 👀 What type of boss would the cast be? & what would their government mandated epithets be?

oh this is like deep lore stuff.... im just a simple casual.....

i don't really know what you mean by type of boss 😭 but if i had to assign boss fights to them (bloodborne only cus it's what i'm familiar with):

Lea Chen of the Black Iron / Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower

"Only an honest death will cure you now...." Lea's fighting style matches pretty closely to Lady Maria's; they're quick but patient. also i love the hunter vs. hunter aspect of that fight, i think the hunter bosses are the most interesting bosses in Bloodborne. i find it hard to imagine Lea fighting against the hunter... only if it was for their own good, as a last resort.... to "cure" them...

Hunter Lykaon / Martyr Logarius

obviously the use of spells here would go well with Noel's fighting style, and while i don't understand all of the lore around Martyr Logarius, i see Noel's loyalty and stubbornness potentially putting him in a similar position. though Noel isn't really one to keep secrets, xe'd still stand guard for the hunter if they asked.... or stand against them if xe had to. Noel is the one companion that could potentially defeat the hunter. it depends just how far the hunter is willing to go.

Merry, daughter of The Omen / Vicar Amelia

honestly this one was hard, i think her and Lea could both fit under Lady Maria, but it's boring to do the same one twice (and there's not many human enemies in bloodborne so just pretend) same with Martyr Logarius, i'm sure there are lots of ways to interpret Vicar Amelia, but i see something kind of metaphorical there with Merry... instead of the locket she's holding the ring she wears around her neck, and while she doesn't turn into a literal monster, she's quite vicious and she has changed drastically from who she used to be. Merry doesn't always like the person she sees in the mirror. while Vicar Amelia is an early encounter, i actually think Merry would be one of the toughest companions for the hunter to fight. not because she's stronger, but mentally and emotionally i think this fight would be the hardest for them, besides Lea... Merry would lose but she'd make sure the hunter would never forget it.

Clementine the Jackal / Yharnam, Pthumerian Queen

Clementine is the secret boss..... i think the implications with this one are pretty obvious. Clementine absolutely could not stand toe to toe against the hunter, if i had to design an actual boss fight with them it would be something like Yharnam's, with Clem using magic, illusions, a whole lot of blood and a really big knife to get around the hunter and backstab them..... 🤔 i think Clementine could get a few licks in and drag the fight out for quite awhile with their magic tricks, but the hunter would catch them eventually.

[0lk0s]

mischaracterization of feyre archeron

by the whole entirety of acotar fandom

feyre archeron decided on her own to go in the woods and learn how to hunt. she assessed her family's situation, the state and skills of her family members and her own skills, after that she came to conclusion that she was the best option. and she was right. because she is fucking smart. so for the love of God, let's stop acting like she was forced by her sisters (read Nesta) into doing that. she's a good person and fucking analytical genius.

saying that she was forced is disrespectful to her character. it's giving credit to nesta for something she wouldn't even consider a possibility. like I love nesta(that's my wife), but in no universe she would see a hunting as potential survival strategy. they were all girls so in nesta's eyes their only way to secure wealth is to be wed. but feyre wasn't brainwashed by their mother and saw what needs to be done and who is the most suited for it.

yall want to make her this martyr and a victim, but trust me her family situation is nothing compared to being abducted and forced to live with deadly beasts (read Fae), then being tortured, hunted for sport and LITERALLY killed. she earned her martyrhood right then and there.

also let me say this once, she wasn't abused by her older sister, she was the sole provider for said sister. if anything she held all the power in that shack. we cannot understand the complexity of their sisterhood, because we've been in the shack for few pages. it's impossible. "nesta and elain should be thankful." girl stfu and eat your food. what feyre did was incredible and im telling you right now if you think she did it because she wanted gratitude read those books again. the way they react to their circumstances is valid and feyre doesn't hold it against them. unlike other characters(read the IC).

frankly I do belive that this general consensus about feyre's character being victim of her family is caused by the IC and their treatment of the sisters (who would've thought!!). they see that feyre is traumatized but cannot talk about what she went through UTM. because by talking about it, rhysand wouldn't be a saint. so they don't talk about it. and feyre is traumatized and isn't ready to face that. the trauma is still there and now they need something else to blame. so nesta and elain get the short end of the stick.

also the fact some of you freaks love to self-insert into her isn't helping. leave my daughter alone, thx.

feyre archeron is a genius woman. she isn't always victim of her circumstances. by enforcing certain narratives yall are discrediting her and it needs to stop.

[auxxrat]

Shaak Ti is such an important character to me that I-

I feel like she’s MY character. I want to write essays on how her and just all the lore I’ve created for her. I’ve crafted her into such a character that im DEATHLY afraid of anyone from disney touching her.

the amount of lore I have built around her, the THINGSSS I have to say about her character and what she’s been through/accomplished. it would run into so much lore that disney hasn’t even began to touch and just give us a whole other side of the jedi order and the star wars universe as a whole.

AND I have a beautiful death planned out for her that isn’t stupid and actually means something, it’s basically just a more detailed version of her force unleashed death. I also have so much thoughts about her impact as a martyr and her impact on the clones. Not only that but her impact on the future (rebels, luke, new Jedi order etc.) I’m literally so afraid of Dave Filoni or someone else getting their hands on her character and just ruining the potential (that and we know how Dave filoni likes to throw out lore…)

(Not to mention it goes hand to hand with Jango lore 🫶)

AHHH i want to talk about it so bad yet nobody wants to listen 😭 the Shaak Ti community is so small and the Jango/Shaak community is even smaller, I might be the only resident <\3