#im like. hm better do it with more enthusiasm then

[florida3exclamationpoints]

Fun fact about meeeeee before I go to bed obligatory postttttt

I have noticed smth about myself. That when I'm working in a kitchen. The way to tell if I Should Do Something is a very simple question: which of my culinary professors would yell at me for this action? Chef A = do not do it he is smart. Chef B = absolutely do it for spite if nothing else

[444rockstargf]

Hey, "high with Clyde" anon here (and high again, funnily enough). Smut you say? I've had a thought circulating in my mind recently. Going shopping for new clothes with Jack Thurlow and trying stuff on for him to rate while he sits all pretty on that couch they have there (y'know, that one that they have specifically for guys doing the exact same thing?) while you model for him. And for whatever reason - maybe his responses have been rather lacklustre and you want his....ahem, "enthusiasm", or maybe just cuz you're devious like that - you decide you wanna rile him up a little bit. So! At the next store, you grab like, the sluttiest outfits available unbeknownst to him, and then model them all for him, feeling all smug that he's practically drooling at you

And when he finally reaches his breaking point, the next thing you know, you got your feet behind your ears and his hand over your mouth so you don't get caught. 🤤 Idk, do with that what you might. ^^

you've done it again, anon 🙌🏽

"i get dressed to ride for you, baby." | jack thurlow

burning desire. - lana del rey

✮⋆˙ [tags] @faesucksass @lustkillers @angelsanarchy @mayathepsychic1999 @josibunn @livingdead-materialgirl@romanroyapoligist @oliviah-25@si1nful-symph0ny @auggiethecreator @vanlisbon@livingdead-reilly @imoonkiss @lankysimp @nom-nommmm1 @xxbl00d-cl0txx @k1ll3rh0rr0r @wildathevrt @mommymilkers0526 @greenxgloss @wild-rose-35 @areuirish

female!reader x jack

word count: 1.8k

contents: public sex, unprotected p in v, missionary position, creampie

“you’ve got 5 minutes to try everything on, you hear me?” jack called out as he sat on the small leather couch outside of your dressing room, brows furrowed as he crossed his arms and slumped into the seat knowing full well you were going to take your precious time trying on every single outfit. so much for a "fun" shopping trip.

inside the small room, you had an assortment of clothes in front of you, ranging from long flowy gowns to dark blue baggy jeans and designer sweaters. a top-tier selection of clothes but none of which were to jack’s taste. but you decided to test your luck anyway.

minutes later, you stepped out and stood right in front of him, wearing your first dress. “how’s this one, jack?” his eyes were downcast, looking at something on his phone. you tapped him on the shoulder, only earning half of his attention. “hm? it looks nice, dolly.” you pouted, moving your hand to his chin to make him look at you. “but you didn’t even look at it.” he moved your hand away, looking you up and down with an unamused gaze. “i said it looks fine. now are you finally done so we can get out of here?” 

you rolled your eyes, walking back into the dressing room and slipping off the dress. you picked up a skintight black dress that was so long it dragged on the floor. surely this one would grab his attention, you thought to yourself as you paired it with a white, button-up sweater. you put on a pair of light-brown heels that were hidden by the fabric, stepping out once again and patting his cheek. 

“what about this? is this one better?” you gave him a little spin, giving him a full 360 degrees of your body in the tight dress. he gave a little smirk in response. “yeah if you wanna look like a nun, i guess. is this the last outfit? i don’t think i can listen to the music in here any longer.” you huffed, discouraged at how nonchalant he was. “yes, im done.” you muttered, walking back into the dressing room to get back into your normal clothes.

you walked out of the dressing room empty-handed, leaving everything behind since none seemed to give you the reaction you expected from him. he took your hand, dragging you out of the store and back into the main mall. “good riddance,” he muttered under his breath. “can we go home now, angel?” your eyes scanned the assortment of stores surrounding you until they landed on one that would surely sell clothes that would blow his socks off.

you shook your head. “not yet, i just wanna go to one more store. please, just one more place?” you begged, staring up at him as he groaned. “only one more. you head on inside, i’m going to grab a coffee. i’ll meet you in the dressing room.” with that, he released your hand and let you go your own way. 

you dashed into the store, immediately pleased by the outfits in the display window. you wasted no time picking up everything you saw, picturing the look on his face when he’d see the clothes on you. you walked into the dressing room, starting to change into one of the outfits as you heard his voice.

“you in here, doll?” he said as he sipped on his hot drink, waiting for a response. “i’m here, jack. just gimme a sec, okay?” he nodded, immediately realizing that you couldn’t see his answer. he sat down on the seat in front of your dressing room, sighing as he scrolled on his phone. “this damn girl…” he whispered to himself. then he was interrupted by the noise of you walking out, standing right in front of him.

you didn’t have to tap him to get his attention this time. his eyes were caught by the shiny black thigh-high leather boots you had on. then his eyes traveled up, first landing on your dangerously short pleated skirt and low-cut tube top that showed just enough cleavage to make his breath hitch (this is the outfit). you placed your hand on your hips, looking down at him as he swallowed hard, immediately putting his phone down and gripping the seat.

“now i’ve got your attention.” you remarked smugly. “you like this one, jack?” you took the words out of his mouth, his cheeks covered in a bright pink stain as his mouth gaped open. he cleared his throat, nodding nervously as a stupid little smile tugged at his lips. “y-yeah, this one’s nice, baby. give me a little spin, will ya?” your face lit up and you twirled, making the skirt lift up just a little as your heels clicked on the ground.

jack squirmed, shifting his position so he was sitting with his legs crossed, suppressing a painfully obvious boner. you grinned triumphantly, happy that you could break his cold, hard exterior. you walked back into the room, making that sad that you were going away but excited to see that next set of clothes you’d have on.

minutes passed and jack found himself impatiently tapping his foot as his mind ran wild with thoughts of you wearing such intimate clothes just for him. his hard cock was straining against the rough denim of his jeans, making him groan quietly as he placed a hand on top of his bulge to calm the throbbing sensation.

his foot began to bounce on the ground with anticipation, and soon enough he couldn’t take it anymore. he sprung up from his seat, pushing the curtain of your dressing room to the side and popping his head in. “are you done in here?” you jumped slightly, startled. but jack’s eyes became as wide as saucers as drool began to drip down his lips. 

you stood in front of the mirror, wearing a small tennis skirt with a plaid pattern on it, paired with a white silky shirt that was more revealing than your bra. and your cute little feet in those white knee-high socks didn’t help the matter either (the outfit). “jack! i’m not done in here yet!” 

he walked into the room, approaching you with a lust-filled haze as you backed into the wall behind you. he closed the curtain of the room, pinning you to the wall and pressing his body into yours, his boner pressing into your stomach. you gasped, the heat of blood starting to pool in your core as he grabbed your face and pulled you into a very sloppy kiss.

“goddamnit, woman… you just know exactly how to drive me crazy, don’t you?” he grabbed your ass, lifting you off the ground and making you wrap your legs around his waist, your clothed, throbbing clit now in contact with his pulsating bulge. you moaned into his mouth as he kissed you again, this time using his tongue to tease yours with his gentle flicks.

your hips began to grind on his, desperate for even the smallest amount of pleasure to still your nerves. jack groaned deeply, whipping out his cock and pumping it quickly. you glanced down, seeing that his girth had nearly doubled in size because of how swollen it had gotten. he rubbed his leaky tip on your silky panties, feeling your wetness through the thin fabric.

you let out a shaky moan, grabbing onto his muscled biceps as he set you down on the wooden bench that was meant for clothing. he pushed everything else off, leaving room for only you as he pushed your legs behind your head, the wet spot on your panties much more conspicuous in this position.

jack bit his lip as he grinned from ear to ear. “that’s my little model…” he trailed a teasing finger down your cleavage until he got all the way down to your dripping wet cunt. he replaced his finger with his cock, getting off from the feeling of your wet folds hungrily attempting to swallow him.

“guess we should get these out of the way, huh?” he slipped his cock underneath the thin string that covered your pussy, breaking it away with a light tug. your breath became shaky as the cold air hit your grooling cunt. jack spat on his thumb, rubbing messy circles onto your clit as he lined himself up with your hole.

the tip slipped in effortlessly, along with the first few inches. you moaned quietly, making jack clamp his hand over your mouth. “it would be a shame if we got caught in here, wouldn’t it?” with a low groan, he pushed in the remaining inches of his rod, making your eyes well. with his jeans down to his ankles, his hips began slapping into yours.

your eyes rolled to your back on your head as the perfect curve of his dick made him reach nothing but your cervix. you felt your drool bubbling all over his hand as deep, heavy breaths escaped from his parted lips. his large cock abused and stretched out your tiny hole, much to his pleasure.

his fingernails dug into the back of your thighs as his balls slapped your asshole with every deep thrust. your hands found his wrist and forearm, gripping the skin tightly as a white-hot knot began to tie in your stomach. jack’s orderly thrusts quickly lost their composure as your muffled moans made his core boil.

strings on precum connected him to you each time he pulled out. he flipped his hair out of his face, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed back curses that threatened to break free. “s-shit… that’s it, baby… takin’ my cock so well…” 

your back arched as you ground your hips against his, desperately chasing the orgasm that was just in your reach. your gushy folds hungrily ate up his cock, making him toss his head back. “use my dick, angel…just like that.” you brought your fingers to your clit, sobbing into his hand as you felt yourself cumming all over him. he grabbed your hips, fucking you at lightning speed as his balls sagged with cum. in a matter of seconds, he was filling up your tight, swollen pussy with loads upon loads of his hot seed.

he pulled out of you, watching as his cum cascaded out of your hole like a milky waterfall. you panted breathlessly, slowly regaining your composure as jack tucked his cock back into his pants before getting you all cleaned up as well.

you put on your clothes, looking at the mess you two had just made in a public residence. but before you knew it, jack was out of the dressing room, carrying all of the clothes you tried on. you walked behind him quickly. “where are you going?” jack smiled back at you. “to the cashier. i look forward to my little model putting on a show for me every night.” he dumped the pile of clothes onto the counter, the cum-stained skirt above everything else like a cherry on top.

author's note: thank you "high" anon for the request! istg I rlly didn't mean for it to get so long

[sanb3rry]

strawberry picking w/ eren (∩˃o˂∩)♡

a/n: i've been daydreaming about this sm so enjoy ♡ also theres probably typos, lolol.

it started with you running up to eren when he got out of his last class, “let’s go strawberry picking !” you said as you shoved your phone in his face, “hi babe, i'm good and class went pretty well, how about you?” you rolled your eyes. “welll? are you gonna come with me?” you batted your eyelashes at him.

“‘course im coming, i’d go anywhere if it meant you’d be there too” he replied as he lead you down the hallway. you kissed him on the cheek, “love you” he smiled at you “love you more, i’ll pick you up at 3 tomorrow”

weekend had come by and you were fixing your hair and got a text from eren saying he was outside. you took the keys and your phone and locked your house.

"you look pretty" he commented as you got in his car. "thank you" you smiled at him. once you got there, you immediately got a basket for yourself cause eren didn't want one and got inside the greenhouse.

"it's steamy in here" eren commented, "mhm, yea." you nodded. you took his hand leaded him to an aisle, "look at these they're so cute." you squealed as you saw the strawberries.

"cute?" eren asked, confused on how strawberries can be cute. "yes, they're so cute, i just wanna eat them up." you cooed. "you're adorable" he remarked. "shut up.", he chuckled at your flustered state. you picked strawberries and put them in the basket that eren insisted to hold.

“c’mere” he called. “hmm?” you turned to him and you saw him pick a flower from the strawberry bush. “it’s pretty just like you.” he said as he carefully put it in your hair. you felt your face get hot and it somehow got hotter when he pecked your lips.

“you’re pretty too.”

“yea?” he smiled, “yea.” you kissed him again.

as you finished picking all the strawberries you went through them to pick out any bad ones that you put in accidentally. “why are we doing this again” he asked, “cause i want to make sure they’re all perfect” you answered. he hummed in response, “look at this one, it looks like that cat you obsess over.” he showed you the strawberry that freakishly resembled hello kitty.

“woah! it looks like so much like her,” you took the strawberry out of his hands and observed it. “and we both know you know her name.” you looked up at him. “maybe i do, maybe i don’t.” he shrugged.

you both finished picking out the bad strawberries and went to go get them packed. “we picked so many.” you said as you saw all the boxes. “yeah, should i give one to armin?” he asked, you nodded.

after you got done with everything, you two got in his car to leave. “what are you gonna do with these?” eren quizzed. “i’m gonna use them to bake cupcakes! you should come over when i do.” you replied with excitement.

he chuckled at your enthusiasm, “hm, alright. i’ll be sure to be the best taste tester ever.” he said. “if you want to get a taste of them, you better help.”

“i’ll be sure to help by taste testing” he responded, whispering the last part. “what was that?” you questioned.

“nothing.” he laughed.

© sanb3rry2023

[mono-dot-jpeg]

another adeptus in the line - zhongli [ft. xiao & ganyu]

summary; it was a very big surprise to xiao and ganyu that they would be meeting the next adeptus in line. especially when the next adeptus is a child.

genre; fluff, this is just family, i need emotional support from liyue god family, dad! zhongli, child! reader, all platonic, zhongli is a doting dad and i will die on that hill, dragon hybrid! reader, xiao is just a grumpy older brother

word count; 1.3k

a/n; i hate my life, but it's fine. im currently hanging on a string, due to the fact that there's been a lot of stress recently but it's fine. I'll be fine. i got zhongli in the latest banner, everything will be fine. everyting is fine when zhongli exists 🥰

ganyu might be ooc idk, also reader is a dragon hybrid!! bc of zhongli. maybe I'll write hcs about it... brain go brrrr

age range for reader; 5-7

slight spoilers to the latest story quest? i think it's called story quest idk- i literally just mention the new boss and some of its story but i don't think it spoils too much but ehhhhhhhhh who am i to judge

zhongli had never expected to have you. or more like make you. similar to azhdaha, you were granted life by zhongli. you were granted the ability to live just like any other human. but of course a deal had to be made. you would live as a dragon hybrid human but you would grow up to be the next adeptus in line. you were bound to be granted with a vision but there was no rush. you were merely a child after all.

it was always nice walking around liyue with you. everyone in liyue had a fond look whenever you and zhongli would pass by, the male carrying you to tell you endless stories about the liyue you would come to love and protect.

"papa.." you muttered to zhongli, clutching tightly on his pants as you stood behind him. "where are we going?"

"we're going to the inn, little one, you're just gonna meet your older brother and sister. they're very nice i can assure you." he moved to pick you up and hold you against his waist. "i mean by blood they're not your siblings but that doesn't change anything. you are still family."

he enters the homely inn and heads toward the balcony, but before he could leave to the balcony, he was stopped by verr goldet.

"good afternoon zhongli, good to see you too y/n." you clumsily waved at her, too busy being more focused on the cat that laid on the desk. she had noticed where your focus was, laughing softly. "are you here to see xiao?"

"yes, is he busy?" zhongli asked.

"he's right on the rooftop. i'd just wait until he comes down but he seems like he's not coming down anytime soon."

zhongli nodded at her words, thanking her before going to find xiao. he clutched you firmly as he started to climb to the rooftop. your small hands grasped on his clothes as you watch him climb up to the rooftop with ease.

you look to see an unfamiliar male, moving to hide your face into zhongli's neck. "hello xiao." zhongli greets him, sitting next to him. the young adeptus nods at him in acknowledgement. "i would like you to meet y/n." he started to explain your story, xiao watching you with pointed eyes as you shy away from him and stick to zhongli as much as you physically can.

"they are a child."

"that is true, xiao." he patted your back, urging you to look up to meet xiao. he made you let go of him and turned you around on his lap, making you face xiao. the one thing you immediately notice is the necklace he wears. "they're very new to our world. especially if you consider our ages." zhongli was an old soul and god after all.

"shiny.." you mutter, your hands reaching out for the pretty beads that laid strewn together on xiao's neck. zhongli smiled fondly at your lack of attention onto the actual male.

"little brat." xiao mumbled as zhongli moves you to sit on xiao's lap. you look up at him with innocent beady eyes for a moment before looking down and bonking your head on his chest, feeling shy at the sudden attention from a new person. xiao hesitantly places a hand on your head, patting your hair and any stray hairs.

zhongli watches the scene before him with amused eyes. "it's nice to see you try and bond with your little sibling." he chuckled a bit as he watches you grab at xiao's necklace, much to the older adeptus' dismay. xiao tried to get your hands off the necklace, earning a tiny whine from you.

"zhongli, have you spoiled them already?" xiao takes off his necklace to let you play with it, keeping a sharp eye on you as to make sure you don't choke on anything or hurt yourself. your eyes twinkle, grabbing the necklace and looking at the large blunt arrowhead pendant.

"me? i would never." zhongli sends an innocent smile but xiao knew better. he always liked to dote on him and ganyu when given the chance, he wasn't any different with you.

"have you told ganyu about them yet?"

"ganyu has been rather busy with her duties. i haven't been able to contact her yet."

"xiao!" the two males hear a rather familiar voice, soon turning their heads towards the source to see the other adeptus, ganyu. she nearly struggled to climb the rooftop if not for zhongli offering a hand to help. "ah, hello, rex lapis.." she greeted softly.

"call me zhongli." he reminded her, making the female quickly apologize. "what have you come here for?"

"i was just gonna ask if..." she trailed off as she looked over to xiao, seeing you on his lap. you look up to see the pretty female, quickly looking away to bonk your head against xiao's chest once again. the other adeptus sighing at your antics, as zhongli watched everything unfold with a fond smile on his face. "who is this?"

"this is y/n." zhongli answered, starting to explain the contract you and him made when you were in a different form. you still stayed buried in xiao's chest, said adeptus wondering how to deal with such a shy child... or how to deal with a child in general.

ganyu went to sit in front of you and xiao, "hello y/n..." you stopped fiddling with xiao's necklace and turned to look at ganyu again. she had horns on her head like you did.

"horns...pretty" you pointed at ganyu's red horns, making the female flustered at the compliment. kids always had the blunt honesty.

"ah ah ah... don't point, little one. that's not very nice." zhongli chided softly.

"but her horns..like me.." you pressed your free hand against your own smaller horns that grew from your head. ganyu was surprised by your shining enthusiasm in finding someone like you.

"yes, she has horns like you." xiao mutters, taking his necklace back from your small hands while you were distracted. but your grip was stronger than he had thought, "give me my necklace back, little brat."

"but...i wanna play still, big brother.." you told him. unfortunately, xiao couldn't resist your plea and let you hold the necklace in your hands for a little while longer. zhongli noted that, remembering to tease him about it later.

"ah, maybe you should give it back to big brother xiao, hm? he really needs it, y/n." ganyu makes an attempt to let xiao get his necklace back. and who are you to disappoint the pretty sister? you pouted, hesitantly handing it back to xiao. "why don't you say sorry for keeping it from him for so long?"

"sorry big brother.." you fumbled on your words rather adorably. "won't do it again."

"thank you." xiao muttered as he hands you over to ganyu. "take the little demon."

"xiao! that's not very nice." ganyu said as she adjusts you to fit comfortably on her lap.

"xiao...meanie!" you pointed at him. xiao glared at you as you showed no fear to it. was xiao really gonna square up with a child? maybe. before xiao could say anything else, you reached for ganyu's horns, "big sister..."

"hm?" ganyu notices you reaching for her horns. "you want to touch them?" you nodded, moving closer. but you had moved too close and bonked your head against hers. "ah! are you okay?" she immediately asked as you blinked before bonking your forehead against hers softly, giggling happily. who would've thought that bonking was a love language for you?

"this one is gonna be a troublemaker...i just know it.." xiao gives you a pointed look as you reach out for xiao.

"wanna play with big brother! and big sister!" you send out a toothy smile, soon warming up a bit more to the two older adeptus.

zhongli merely looked at the sweet scene before him, seeing his young adeptus kids get along so well with each other despite the differences they all had. you would fit along just fine. there was nothing he would need to worry about.

[timothy-chamlet]

the afterparty - t.c. fanfic

pair: timmy x female reader

warnings: unprotected sex, general smut

word count: 2.6k (2640)

a//n: ok er ive never written for timmy before so im nervous snsvsj but if you read it tell me what u think !! <3

°•○●○•°

people often thought the two of you were dating. paparazzi tended to make it look that way through press. despite all the candid photos of you and timothée plastered in magazine spreads and floating around on blogs, he would tell people you weren't together. interviewers would ask, and time again he would put an end to the rumor by saying you weren't dating, you were just friends. 

to be fair, you honestly couldn't even be mad at him. it was a good marketing tactic, at least. if all the girls knew he was single they'd still be invested in the persona of a young, attractive starlet that - despite his more than desirable qualities - is still single. genius. meanwhile you were being his best friend and his trophy for award shows. 

it was growing on you though. you enjoyed walking red carpet events and going to extravagant parties and meeting big names in the industry. it was really a win-win for both of you. 

another one of those win-win situations was tonight. the past three days had been crazy. hair appointments, nail appointments, dress fittings, photoshoots, brunches, and dinners. running each new day on an hour of sleep - maybe two if you were lucky. fueled by energy drinks and the promise of rest after the event. showing up to an awards ceremony on nothing more than a 20 minute nap and a double shot espresso. being timothée's showpiece was exhausting. but it was good for you. 

you had just finished your last consultation for dress fittings and were on your way to your styling appointment. the dress would arrive shortly after you so everything was ready to go. things were set for timothée to meet you there in an hour or so, after his own styling. 

currently you're getting your makeup done. a swarm of professionals all around you, handing products, giving directions, telling you how gorgeous you look, at least three hands on you at all times. after almost an hour all the disembodied hands move from your face to reveal the *almost* finished product. you still need your hair done, but your face was flawless. your skin was insanely smooth; not a pore in sight, your lids were a bronze shade, and your lips were a perfect nude. 

a hair stylist soon steps into view, also admiring your makeup before diving into your hair. it was simple. a slicked back ponytail is all, careful not to draw away from your face and your dress. 

the strong aroma of hairspray clouds you as you maneuver to step into your dress. stripped of your previous clothes, you step into your dress and a couple people help you pull it up. the woman attending to the supper in the back steps away for a moment, seeming to answer a question. 

"what's his name?" she asks into her ear piece. "uh yes. she's in here with me. send him in."  

she returns behind you and does up the zipper to your dress. to your surprise, you see timothée waltz in the room. dressed in a charcoal gray suit with a light lavender button up underneath. "y/n," he exhales, walking towards you. "you look breathtaking, ma chérie." 

"you don't look too bad yourself, timmy," you say, stepping down from your pedestal to be almost eye level with him.

"is she done here?" he asks everyone around without taking his eyes off you. 

one of the women there swoops in with a pair of shoes and says, "slip in to these and you're ready to go, darling." 

you step into your shoes and link arms with timothée. "carriage awaits," he says as the two of you get escorted to the limo. 

once inside you let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding. "you okay?" he asks from beside you. 

"yeah, just.. tired." 

he chuckles and drops his head. "absolutely exhausted." you two had similarly scheduled days so he knows exactly how you feel. "don't worry, mon amour, i'll have you home in about 8 hours." 

"i thought the awards show was only 4-" 

"there's always the afterparty.." 

you audibly groan and drop your head as timothée places a reassuring hand on your knee. 

"we're here," he says with fake enthusiasm as the limo pulls up to the event. the past 45 minutes felt like hours as your head began to pound from the lack of sleep. yet, lucky you, 45 minutes in l.a. traffic was a miracle. 

the two of you step out into the scene. flashing lights from camera flickers, the general buzz of the crowd, people you knew trying to get your attention, people timothée knew trying to get his attention. being the kind person he is, he doesn't shy away from fans calling his name. he walks over to give high fives, say hi, sign things, and really interact with the people that are so invested in his career. you look at him with a fond smile on your face as he greets  people.  

"timothéeeee," you both hear and turn around to match the loud booming voice to a face. 

"armieee!!" he yells in response, hurrying over to hug his co-star. 

you stand idly by as the two hug and catch up. fiddling with your ponytail and the skirt of your dress. until that same voice catches your attention. 

"bring it in hot stuff!" 

"hey, armie! how've you been, handsome?" you two had only met a handful of times, but it's like your souls clicked instantly. he had kept in touch since the first time you met and you guys had been pretty close ever since. 

"oh i’m doing great. really. just excited for this evening. can't wait to see how many awards lil' tim brings in," armie ends with a light laugh before timothée chimes in. 

"oh god no-" 

a cheery voice interrupts the conversation. 

"helloooo," armie's wife says in a sing-song voice and joins his side. "nice to see you again, y/n. and congrats timmy on your nominations." 

you and timothée nod in response and utter small, nervous 'thank you's' before armie excuses the two of them, promising to catch up later. 

"well, well, well- this is it, timmy." you say from your seat next to him. the host reads the nominees for best breakthrough of the year, and timothée's name is mixed in with so many other talented actors. he nervously puts his hand over yours. "you are absolutely amazing. everyone knows that. you're gonna get it." he looks at you and you pass him a reassuring smile. 

"and the award for best breakthrough goes to… timothée chalamet!" 

his head shoots up in shock. cameras pan around him and his baffled expression appears on huge screens behind the stage. he slowly stands from his seat and makes his way to the stage. making a beautiful speech, thanking almost everyone he's ever known. giving gratitude to everyone he's ever worked with, his parents, and his best friends. he comes off the stage and returns to his seat beside you. a year runs down his cheek, and you move to wipe it away, but he grabs your hand away from his cheek only to press his lips to your knuckles. "thank you for always believing in me." 

"you're an amazing actor and an even better friend. 

the night was nearing an end. people were saying their goodbyes and their 'see-you-soon's and going their separate ways. you and timothée walk out of the event, arms linked, with his hands tightly gripping his award. the smile never leaves his face. "i can't fucking believe that, y/n."

"you did it, timmy! all you and your hard work. lemme pick a nice spot on your shelf for it yeah?" 

"i was thinking about sitting it on my dresser right above the drawer full of your shit you keep leaving at my house," he says with a barely visible smirk. 

"oh, well if it's such a problem," you begin "i guess I'll just have to come get my 'shit' then?" you finish sarcastically. 

"oh! how dare you?" he begins to shout, going on a tirade similar to that of hamlet; overly dramatic and mostly nonsensical. "leave them be! small, small remnants; reminders of thee." he trails off softly, dropping his head to your shoulder and bringing his other hand up to trail his fingertips down the side of your face. 

you can't help but chuckle at this. "bravo timothée! amazing performance." 

he straightens up before taking a bow and returning to his previous position on your shoulder. "do you wanna skip the afterparty?" 

"and do what, tim? i thought you were gonna catch up with armie?" 

"i dunno- go to my place?" 

you nod your head, and timothée let's the driver know to just go to his house. 

you get out of the car in front of his apartment, quickly thank the driver, and dash inside; excited to remove the day. "can i shower?" you ask quickly already making your way upstairs.

"oui, mon trèsor, make yourself at home. ill be up in a while." it was almost as if he had it scripted. a routine more or less. you'd ask to shower - despite him telling you almost each time you never had to ask - and go up stairs to do so; him trailing along about an hour later behind you. 

you finish your shower earlier than planned so you decide to lay on his bed until he comes up. you let your freshly washed body relish in the textures of the cotton t-shirt and shorts you're wearing and the damp-cool feel of the comforter on his bed. 

you're not left alone for long before he darts up the stairs and into his room, catching your attention. you watch as he walks around, dropping various articles of his clothing haphazardly on his floor. left in only his boxers. 

"timmy?" you ask in a drawn out voice. 

"hm?" he asks lowly in response; his eyes trained on you. you don't respond to his muffled question and instead watch as he comes to lean over the foot of the bed, by your legs. "i've been thinking," he continues, "a lot recently. about us.." 

"us?-" 

"about what the media thinks we are. what the people say. the blog posts, the tweets. i read it all… what do you think about it, y/n?" he ends with a light sigh, making drawing light swirls on your leg. 

"i dunno really. i've never thought much about it," you say sitting up. 

he moves up from his place in front of the bed, crawling up to sit to the right of your legs. knees drawn up to his chest, eyes meeting yours. he raises his hand so his fingertips ghost the curve of your cheek. "you never think about.. the possibility of us?" he pauses as his eyes drift from yours. hands falling to his lap as he scoots even closer to you. you sit stunned, not knowing how to answer as if it was some rhetoric instead of a simple question. filling the silence, he continues. "i think about how different things would be if we were together. what it would be like to hold you and kiss you and- can i kiss you?" 

his voice wavers as his eyes meet yours yet again. with quick movements, he moves to straddle your legs, both hands resting lightly on either side of your face. 

"can i kiss you?" he asks again, his face millimeters from yours. 

you shake your head yes as your eyes fluttering closed, your lips brushing against his as you move. 

he plants his lips firmly on yours. innocent at first, but the kiss quickly gets deeper. more desperate, his hands moving from the sides of your face to tangle in your hair, pulling your head back giving him access to your neck. his lips dance around the skin of your neck, being careful not to leave any marks. “is this okay?” he whispers, dragging his hands from your hair to the hem of your shirt. 

you nod your head vigorously and he pulls your shirt up and over your head, throwing it to the floor with his clothes. you lean back and give timothee free reign of your chest and stomach. he makes his way from your neck down and across your chest. your hands rush to knot in his hair as he takes a nipple in his mouth, carefully flicking his tongue across the hardening bud before doing the same to the other. 

"timmy.." you breathe out as he leaves your chest and explores lower. his eyes meet yours as his teeth come into contact with the flimsy waistband of your sleep shorts. "please," you whisper. 

he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your shorts and pulls them down your legs; eyes going wide when he sees you have nothing underneath. 

"so pretty," he whispers almost to himself as he throws your shorts in his floor with the rest of your guys' clothes. he runs his finger along your slit, collecting some of your wetness, tasting it. laying back down with your legs over his shoulders, he hooks his arms around your thighs to keep you in place. he runs his tongue along your folds and you arch your back in response. he sucks on your clit making you squirm and tangle your fingers tighter in his hair, pushing against his face, eager for more. 

"tim-... timmy," you beg.

timothée kisses his way back up your body. "hm?" he hums softly beside your ear only for you to utter another weak 'please' in response. 

"please… please what, mon amour?" 

"baise moi.." you didn't know much french. you had picked up on a few of timothée's most used phrases, but this you hadn't learned from him, so it caught him off-guard. stuck in a moment of shock. hearing you say something so dirty in french felt so strangely intimate; you didn't have to ask him twice. 

he slips his boxers, finally accompanying you in nakedness, and slips into you, moaning at the feeling of you around him. 

"fuck.. timmy-" you groan as he picks up his pace. he coos sweet nothings into your ear while drilling into your core. 

his head drops to your chest and the soft, sweet praises slowly turn into obscenities. "merde," he groans, picking up his pace even more. holding himself at arms length above you, he throws his head back; lips parted in pure bliss. 

you lift one of your hands to trail down timothée's torso. you lazily drag your fingertips across his chest and down to his stomach. the pleasure building inside you, your hand finds its way to your clit. “timmy... fuck! ple- please don’t stop. fuuuuuck!” 

“défaire pour moi, y/n.” you didn’t think french could ever drive you to orgasm, but when it came from timothé anything was possible. you convulse around him as your wave of pleasure washes over you. timothée reaching his own peak soon after, pulling out and emptying on your stomach. he quickly finds something to clean you up with before plopping down on the bed beside you. many silent moments pass - nothing but heavy breaths leaving either of you - before he speaks up. “you know,” he begins in a soft whisper, “i felt bad- like i was using you. just to go to events with me. i know you don’t really like them but-” 

you cut him off and turn to face him. “i might hate going to those award shows, but they’re a little less bad with you around.” 

he breaks into a wide smile and pulls you closer, putting his head on your stomach. "mon amour, je t'ai toujours aimé." you reach down to play with his curls and begin to drift off on your way to sleep. 

[megalony]

Problem solved

This is my first dad! Harry Styles series which I am going to be working on, I hope you will all like and enjoy it. This is a friends to lovers series, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Masterlist

Summary: Harry offers for (Y/n) and her daughter to come and live with him and his son to help her out of a tricky situation and feelings soon start to develop between them both.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mornin' little lady, can we come in?" A smile pulled at Harry's lips when he looked down to see Ella stood half behind the door like she was getting ready to hide away from whoever turned up at the door.

The four year old looked up at him with a shy smile before she nodded and pulled open the door, allowing Harry and Elliot to walk inside. Harry darted his eyes around the hall to try and decipher whereabouts (Y/n) was until he heard her feet padding against the stairs. He had been in the area and thought he would pop by and see one of his closest friends and since Ella seemed to get along rather well with Elliot Harry thought it would be good for them to play together for a while if (Y/n) wasn't busy.

Elliot didn't tend to talk to many kids around his age, even when he was at pre-school he didn't like talking or getting to know other kids so to know he seemed comfortable around Ella was a godsend to Harry even if Ella was two years younger than Elliot.

"Mummy, it's Elliot and Harry." Ella's voice showed her enthusiasm and the way she bounced from her heels to her toes made Harry smile fondly at her. Elliot never seemed to jitter with excitement or go high pitched or jump around like Ella, he was calm and preserved and laid back so it was a change to see in other children how different Elliot acted.

When (Y/n) counted thirteen steps she cautiously placed her left foot down and felt around just to make sure she was actually on the floor and not on a secret last step. It had happened far too many times where she lost count and ended up tripping on the last step on the stairs. A bungalow might have been a better option in hind-sight but (Y/n) always liked a challenge.

"I didn't know you were popping by, what can I do for you, Styles?" (Y/n) smiled but Harry could see that her smile didn't reach her enamouring eyes that were flitting around the hall like she was scanning the house for something.

"Thought we'd come by and see you both... everything okay?" Harry lowered his tone towards the end of his sentence and spoke a little quieter and if (Y/n) could see he would have narrowed his eyes and dipped his head down to try and silently ask if something was wrong. He wanted to make sure everything was okay when he could tell that (Y/n) looked a bit unsettled and like she had been either crying or panicking. Whenever something was wrong he made sure to try and find out so he could find a way to help.

"Hm. Ella, why don't you take Elliot upstairs to play?"

(Y/n) moved a few steps away from the stairs, reaching her hand out when she felt Ella getting closer. The four year old reached her hand out and gently squeezed (Y/n)'s hand, a normal part of their daily routine just like they were sharing a smile or a look with each other. Ella smiled shyly at Harry before she motioned for Elliot to follow her, knowing he wouldn't like it if she reached out to try and take his hand and drag him upstairs like she did with some of her friends.

A gentle smile formed on (Y/n)'s lips when she reached her arms out in Harry's direction and felt his familiar, comforting arms wrapping around her. She loved the feeling when he leaned down to her height and his cheek brushed against hers and she could feel his hair tickling her cheek or her forehead or trying to intertwine with her own hair. When his fingers ran up and down her back and hips like they were now it made her feel so calm and relaxed and like everything was okay, even if she knew it wasn't. She could even feel the few specks of stubble around his chin and cheek which tickled her skin and made her want to laugh at the feeling.

"What have you been up to?" (Y/n) tried her best to make conversation when they pulled back and she moved to guide Harry down the hall and into the kitchen.

She knew her own house well enough that she didn't have to hold onto the walls to guide herself anymore, she could count her steps just to make sure she was right and she could hold her hands out to make sure she wouldn't barge into the walls but she knew where she was going and what she was doing.

"I've been at the studio, mostly. Took Elliot out to the zoo but he didn't like it very much. What about you?"

When they reached the kitchen, (Y/n) felt around for the counter on her left and used it as leverage to pull herself over to the fridge.

"I've been at the piano this week, had a new idea for a song for you. Do you want a drink?"

(Y/n) came up with a lot of melodies on the piano and a few chords on the violin for Harry's songs and he either came up with lyrics that went with the tune or vice versa, (Y/n) made the tune to fit how he wanted to sing the songs. She didn't work on many of Harry's songs but she did a fair few from time to time and Harry loved working with (Y/n).

"Just juice, please." Harry sat down at the island in the middle of the kitchen but his eyes narrowed as he studied (Y/n). She sounded off, her voice wasn't as bouncy as normal and she wasn't smiling as brightly and lighting up the room like she normally did. Nor did she seem to walk around effortlessly, she was reaching out a bit more for the counters showing her mind was clearly somewhere else. Harry hoped he hadn't disturbed her by coming round if she was preoccupied or in the middle of something.

Reaching his hand out, Harry gently held (Y/n)'s elbow to help her find the stool next to him and know where he was before she sat down, placing a drink in front of each of them.

"Ella's happy you came by, she's missed Elliot."

"(Y/n) is something wrong? You seem a bit... upset." Harry curled his fingers around the glass resting on the counter in front of him but his eyes were focused solely on his friend who was sitting beside him at the kitchen counter. He leaned his elbows forward on the counter, arching his back out as he watched (Y/n) closely.

He knew all of her little ticks and antics, when she started to scratch the palms of her hands or rub at her neck it meant she was getting anxious or that something was wrong and Harry hated to see her panic. Harry had also picked up on the fact that whenever (Y/n) was frustrated or very overly worried, she would start to clean the house a lot. She would try and clean the counters until she thought they were sparkling, she would tidy everything away so the house was spotless and then she would start over again trying to clean her house that was always pristine anyway.

"I um... I saw my social worker today... they know James moved out." (Y/n) traced her finger around the rim of her glass as she felt relieved for once that she couldn't see Harry's expression.

"What did she say?"

Harry took a sip of his juice to try and calm his nerves that were slowly getting rattled and uneasy. (Y/n) was one of the closest people to Harry and he had and always would help her out wherever possible and if anything upset or hurt her then it hurt him too.

He knew that when (Y/n) and James split up it would cause (Y/n) a lot of problems because he was a safety net for her. Ella was their daughter and that meant James was always around to help (Y/n), no one thought she was incapable of caring for Ella or treated her differently or inferior because she had help and support from her partner. When he moved out Harry also knew that (Y/n) didn't tell her social worker because when they knew she was living on her own with Ella they would make more visits to see her and think she was incapable of being a single mother simply because she couldn't see.

"She's going to be coming round every week and soon she'll do an assessment, to..."

"An assessment for what?"

"Child services haven't been involved when Ella was born because I had James and his family, I had a network of people in case I did something wrong. They h-have to assess whether I'm capable of living with Ella on my own and if I'm not I c-can't have custody of her anymore."

Even though (Y/n)'s eyes were unfocused and jittering side to side, it didn't stop Harry from seeing the pool of emotions surfacing in them like ripples forming on the water. He could see the pain and the fear in (Y/n)'s eyes because for the first time, she was faced with the threat of having her child taken away from her.

With (Y/n) unable to see it meant that social services were involved when she had Eleanor to make sure she was capable of caring for Eleanor on her own. (Y/n) couldn't see if something happened to Ella, she only had her hearing and her touch to navigate and work with and she could burn herself or accidentally scold Ella. She could trip and fall unconscious with no one else home except for Ella, something could happen to Ella and (Y/n) have no means to get her any help. There were any number of things that could happen and it meant (Y/n) needed people around her to help.

When she was with James she lived with him and his family were close by and those connections meant (Y/n) could be a mother because she had people to help her when she needed assistance and they were a safety network in case something happened or went wrong. Now James had moved out (Y/n) was on her own and that was deemed as a risk for Ella if (Y/n) didn't have any friends or family helping and close by every day.

If she was deemed incapable or at risk then Ella would either be with James full time or possibly even put into care or with a relative or in the system. (Y/n) could still see Ella but she couldn't have custody and (Y/n) couldn't have anyone taking her child away from her because she loved and needed Ella. 

"But if they think you're capable on your own-"

"They won't." (Y/n) dragged her nails through her hair, scratching at her scalp as she tried to stop herself from having a panic attack. She could feel her lungs starting to tighten and her chest felt heavier like stones were setting in her lungs and weighing her down.

(Y/n)'s finger started to tap against the counter as she leaned her head on her other hand, her unfocused eyes moving over where she guessed Harry's face was. She could feel his presence in front of her, she could feel his knee touching her own and his eyes burning into her frame and she could even feel his breaths pushing her way. When she felt Harry's hand enveloping over her own that was tapping away on the counter, she wanted to smile but she couldn't quite manage it.

"But you've had custody of her for the past four years and you did just fine when she was a baby."

"Harry, I can't see the house, you know I need things in the right place but Ella doesn't understand. If she leaves a toy around I could trip and fall, if she gets hurt upstairs I might not know for an hour or more. What happens if I hurt myself and can't get help? What if I burn myself or burn her?"

(Y/n) couldn't see the house but she had it planned out in her head like blueprints. She had to have every chair, every book, every bin and ornament and picture frame in the same place so she could get around and know where everything was. But Ella didn't understand that because she was only four, she would get books and toys out and not put them away and (Y/n) could fall on those toys or trip or get confused and hurt herself.

If (Y/n) fell unconscious Ella would be scared and alone until she woke up or someone happened to come by. If Ella hurt herself upstairs and (Y/n) didn't hear anything she wouldn't know for an uncertain amount of time. Anything could go wrong and with (Y/n) being here on her own it increased the risks that were diminished when she was living with James.

"But you haven't ever done that-"

"That doesn't mean it won't ever happen. Mum isn't well, she can't come round and help and my brother is two hours away. James wants custody of her, his parents won't try and help me they want Ella to live with him."

(Y/n) couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes when she thought about how everything was stacking up against her. It didn't matter that she and James had been together for six years or that they tried to end things on good terms, he wanted custody of Ella. He didn't think (Y/n) could care for her on her own and that meant his family were going to try and help him get custody.

James' parents would help (Y/n) by looking after Ella but they wouldn't be round every day to give help and support like they had done before. They weren't willing to do that because they wanted Ella with James. And (Y/n)'s mother wasn't well right now so she couldn't be round to help out like (Y/n)'s social worker wanted, she wanted (Y/n) to have people able to come and help (Y/n) and even her brother wasn't living nearby.

"What if you lived with me?"

(Y/n) hadn't heard him right. Surely, she hadn't heard right what Harry had just said to her. Why would he say something like that, why would he say that when they weren't a couple and it didn't help him out?

"What?"

"If you lived with me and Elliot, wouldn't your social worker say that was okay? I'd be there just like when James lived here, I can help with Ella and if you need anything I'll be there and mum wouldn't mind coming round whenever you need her."

The sincerity in Harry's voice made (Y/n)'s eyes flood with tears at the gesture he was presenting her with. He was willing to be so selfless to try and help her and Ella out but (Y/n) couldn't do that, she couldn't go and stay with Harry because it wouldn't be fair. He was always in the media and she didn't want people speculating or asking him questions or making his life any harder than it already was. Besides, he had Elliot, it might confuse or upset him if she and Ella suddenly turned up to live with them. (Y/n) couldn't impose on Harry like that, it would be cruel.

"That... that's more than generous Harry, but I- I couldn't. You have Elliot to consider and the press and I couldn't impose on your mother either... besides, I thought you were trying to work things out with Sally?"

"You know my mum loves you, I want to help and it seems like you either need a friend to be very close by or you need to live with someone who can help. If they thought you were in a stable relationship with me they would know you were both being looked after and that you were still capable of looking after Ella with that safety net under you."

Harry could see how this would play out for (Y/n), she either needed a few close friends to be around her almost every day to help out with taking Ella to school and tidying up or generally helping with Ella's well-being or buying groceries or making dinner. Or (Y/n) needed to live with someone who could help and be there just in case something were to happen. Harry wanted to be that person but he knew it would be easier for (Y/n) and Ella to live with him rather than him coming round every day or every few days because it would be easier to live together and it would make (Y/n) seem more protected and surrounded by helping hands.

Anne knew (Y/n) and she was very fond of her, she wouldn't mind at all coming to help (Y/n) out with anything or just being around every now and then.

"W-why would you do that for me?"

"Because I know what a good mother you are and I want to help you. Look, I'm not after anything from you (Y/n), but just think about it. If you lived with me and Elliot it would show that you had and were accepting help, you wouldn't be alone and therefore not in any danger or seen as a concern and your social worker would be happy."

"What about you?" (Y/n) knew she sounded sceptical and a little rude which was by no means her intention but she couldn't help but wonder how this would affect Harry. He had the purest heart of anyone (Y/n) knew or had ever come across, but this was a very selfless act that didn't seem to do any favours for Harry himself.

"Believe it or not, I'd get company out of this. It gets lonely just me and Elliot and I don't like being lonely, plus it gives him a bit more stability if you're around. He can have someone else there to help and someone his own age and I think it might calm him down a bit and give him a family."

Harry had a big house but he hated it when there was so much room and only two people in the whole house. It got lonely especially when Elliot went to bed or was at school and Harry got the odd day off or the time to practise in his home. He hated being lonely which was why before Elliot was born Harry stayed with friends a lot even though he had a big house to himself. He liked to surround himself with people and friends and family and if (Y/n) lived with him he wouldn't be so lonely anymore.

As for Elliot, Harry knew he needed more stability in his life.

At the moment, Elliot lived with Harry but had to go to stay with Anne when Harry was at work or off doing interviews or when he was on tour Elliot couldn't always come along. If (Y/n) came to stay then Elliot would have another adult to learn from and be around and basically a sibling to be around and it would give him more stability and more of a family feeling.

Elliot was six and he had learning difficulties, he needed someone around his age to be around and be friends with and a routine that (Y/n) could help provide for him if she stayed over. It would also give Elliot a motherly figure to be around and learn from and look up to because he didn't see his own mother nearly as much as he should. He didn't even want to be with his mum, he wanted Harry, his aunt Jessica and Anne and that was it.

"What do I do when you get into a relationship? Harry, I can't move in with you because it isn't a permanent solution. I'll end up moving back on my own and be back to square one again."

(Y/n) was so tempted to just say yes and see where this goes but she couldn't. This wasn't permanent. When Harry got into a relationship and wanted to move forward and move in together (Y/n) would have to leave and this wasn't the best solution. They would be living together but when things changed and (Y/n) eventually had to move out again she would be back to the same place she is now and without a solution to make everything better.

"I'm trying to work things out with Sally to get her help and try to get her back into Elliot's life. I'll always have a love for her, but I'm not in love with her anymore or looking for a relationship with her. I know this isn't forever but lots of people move in together to pay bills or so they aren't alone or to help with kids and this isn't any different. I'd never cast you out, you know that and you might find someone or a friend to live with or you might end up with friends around to help so you can live on your own again with Ella. I don't know, but for now I think this could help us both out."

Harry thought this could be permanent, at least for now. He knew a lot of people shared flats and houses so it saved on paying the bills and it gave company and safety and and a feeling of relief to some. Not everyone lived together because they were in love or in a relationship.

If (Y/n) fell for someone and wanted to move in together she could always do that or she may find another friend to stay with or she might find a friendship group or a few close friends who would be willing to come round and help her out so she could live independently again. Harry didn't know what the future held but for now he knew this was what they both needed and they could easily make this work if they wanted to.

"Harry, are you really sure about this?"

"Of course I am, come and live with me, let me help you."

When Harry squeezed her hand (Y/n) could feel the tears falling from her eyes again. She had been so worried about what she was going to do and how she was going to go about things if she was deemed unfit to care for Ella but Harry had thrown her a lifeline. He was making sure she could still be with and care for her daughter whilst also trying to secure stability for his son and cure his loneliness.

He didn't have to do any of this for (Y/n) but he was and she couldn't be more grateful to him for it.

[queerconfusionthings]

Fetch

13th Doctor x reader

This idea truly came out of nowhere and i had to write it down, which means it could be absolutely awful. either way i think i'm going to write this concept into something fully fleshed out and angsty and actually written well onto ao3 when i have time

Taglist - @psychobitchtess @oster-hagen @dykecious @lostshadow12 @thejinxmaster @bitemealiienboy @ellacannotdance @hcney-lemon @im-tired-24-7 @sweetlittlesoufflegirl @truthbehindthemysteries @startrekkingaroundasgard @ettorah @theaussietimelord @captainlgordon @findingyouagain @fabulous-jj-style @kinglivv

"Lycanthropy. I've met a werewolf before, not a very nice one mind you."

You sat unnervingly still on the steps, watching her flap around the console without a care in the universe. She seemed just fine, but your throat was so dry you almost feared it'd ignite at any moment. "That's uh, that's great, Doctor, but I don't unders- "

"You won't be like him," she interjected, suddenly looking very gravely in your direction. Well what was that supposed to mean? "Not technically a werewolf either, that's more of an Earth thing. This is different. Less like- like an infection and more like- " her shoulders deflated, arms falling down by her sides, "I don't know, I haven't really encountered this planet before. See their name on a lot of ice cream and it's a proper good ice cream, so I thought we could check it out."

Your usual enthusiasm for her ramblings had crashed and burned with immediate effect, your leg now bouncing of it's own accord. "Doc, please, I don't understand what's gonna happen to me."

You hoped her look of sympathy meant she'd stop attempting to change the topic. She tended to do that a lot. Not to mention that even the generally relaxing ambience of the TARDIS was starting to hurt your head. There were far too many lights. Why were there so many? They were all over the walls, lining the columns, the console.

"'S there any way to, like, reverse it? I don't- I mean, how am I supposed to go about my life occasionally transforming into a huge dog. Alright in the movies an' everything, but how do you even manage that?"

As soon as she even spoke, an unbearable scent of motor oil, and maybe even vanilla wafted straight into your face. God, it made you feel sick. Not- not the Doctor's scent, that was always nice, delightful even, but it was just so heavy handed this time. You tried shaking it off in favour of having the rare intimately friendly moment with her.

"Look, I can try. We need to go to the medbay anyway, look everything over. And if not- if you're stuck this way, which is perfectly fine, then I'll help you figure it out. Trust me, I've met plenty of people over the years. Yeah?"

Her hand landed on your knee, preventing it from bouncing any further. You only stared at it, nodding. The scent was stronger. "Hate the medbay. All hospital-y."

You were in a grass field now, one that the TARDIS had already generated. The Doctor had let slip how much time she really spent in there, just sitting alone doing god knows what, but there was no time for voicing concern over her constant chattering and instruction.

"If you can learn to control it, that's better for everyone."

She'd taken her coat off, which was a distraction in itself, a tennis ball in hand. It did feel slightly demeaning, knowing you'd probably be bounding to catch it like a common houshold pet in a moment or two. Regardless, you tried to keep yourself stable and focused, a feat a little hard when standing in the bare minimum clothing, grass tickling your feet.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Doctor? What if I hurt you?"

"You won't!" She called back. She must have noticed how unconvincing that had sounded. "And if you do, I can take it. The TARDIS'll protect me."

You gave a curt nod and swung your arms from side to side, trying to hype yourself up for what was about to happen. You say what was about to happen, it could so transpire that you didn't manage to turn at all, and that you remained looking slightly insane in this solitary field with just the Doctor and not much clothing at all.

"Would it help if I gave you a countdown?" She called across.

"Uh, yeah, yeah, do that. Am I going on one or g- "

"Three!"

Oh shit, you supposed you were doing this then. How embarrassing would it be if you didn't manage it?

"Two!"

On the other hand, surely it would be substantially safer in that instance. And what would you do when transforming back? You'd just be naked in a field, in front of the Doctor of all people.

"One!"

Her voice almost acting as a catalyst, you felt it happening in near slow motion, the seems of your vest tearing apart, your form shrinking down. Your human sense of conscience seemed to tear apart in the same fashion, senses heightening, impulse control depleting.

There was still this voice in the back of your head, which was a relief, but everything in your mind was screaming at you to go absolutely mental. You barely registered you were running until you knocked straight into the Doctor. What was most embarrassing was the way you sniffed around, attention grabbed with immediate effect once she simply held the ball above her head.

"Oh that's it," her other hand reached to scratch behind your ears, which would bring a bright flush to your skin in any other scenario, but it made you feel absolutely gleeful.

As soon as the tennis ball left her hand, you were after it like a rocket, and you had to admit, the way you sprung into the air felt oddly freeing. Even as you bounded back to the Doctor, crashing into her once more, you simply felt amazing.

"I'm gonna try communicating with you in your head now." You weren't paying even remote attention, you just wanted to grab the ball back. It seemed much more fun than the Doctor's scientific experiments. Far too wordy, not to mention the incomprehensible rambling.

At least that's how you saw it until her hand was back behind your ears, that combined with a stern glance - the type of stern glance you'd give your pet, which made you feel beyond sheepish.

"You can get it back once we've tried this, hm? I'm sure the human inside you isn't too happy about not being able to talk."

Her hand was against your head then, and for a moment, all you felt was a blinding hot pain in your temples, one you usually associated with an awful headache. There was a sort of static noise too, ringing in your ears. You even heard a howl, which you soon dejectedly realised must have come from you.

"There we go! Sorry about that, you're very stubborn as a wolf."

Her voice felt as though it was echoing around the walls of your head, which was a very odd sensation.

"How are you feeling?"

It took a moment, but you figured out how her strange Time Lord trickery, if that's what you'd call it, worked. You simply imagined your lips moving and came out with. "Embarrassed. I just slobbered around a bloody tennis ball."

"I thought it was fun! An' you can't help what you enjoy in a completely different form." True, you supposed. "It's like... it's like when I regenerate, I can go from absolutely loving apples to despising them. Haven't tried one yet in this form, not sure I want to..."

You managed a slight bit of a laugh at that. She was trying to reassure you, and that was nice in itself; the sentiment was there.

"And anyway, you'll just learn to control yourself the more you practice. The more human aspects of your brain will become more and more in control of the, well- the wolf-ish part of it."

When she'd finished, the static noise was back, up until you woke up entirely yourself, laying underneath the Doctor's coat.

Oh.

Okay.

That was fine, perfectly fine, laying naked underneath her coat, that wasn't an issue.

I mean, she didn't seem deterred by it at all, only sitting beside you with a grin oblivious to your wide eyes. "That was proper brilliant! I took a picture so you could see yourself, I think I got it right- Ryan showed me what to do."

"Oh, yeah- right, that's- that's great- "

"Hold on, I'll go grab the blanket and the spare change of clothes."

Beside the embarrassment, it was quite lovely. The grass was a little itchy, but the sight of the sky was certainly something to behold. You hadn't took the chance to glance up beforehand, but the TARDIS had really outdone herself, as usual. A beautiful blue, two suns, the colour darkening as time passed. You could almost see some stars.

"Here we go, I'll hold up the blanket as you get changed if you like."

You only let her hold it up, her head turning away for your sake more than anything else, as you stumbled into the clothing in a desperate need for speed. God, they smelled like her. She'd barely touched them, they were your clothes after all, and yet she was absolutely all over them. You hoped the extra sense of smell died down over time; having a heightened sense of the Doctor was perfectly fine, but what if there was some, I don't know, spoiled milk?

You pushed it to the back of your mind, and lowered the blanket in front of you back down. The Doctor was still smiling. She must have been much more excited about this than you were. The flip phone came out of her pocket in an instant, she was that desperate to show you the photos.

You weren't sure what you were expecting other than a ginormous wolf with fur near the same colour as your natural hair, but the Doctor was oddly delighted by it. Better one person be excited by the prospect of you being a glorified wolf than none at all.

"Right, ice cream then?"

Oh you still had plenty of questions, but the Doctor was always reluctant when faced with them herself. You supposed you could enjoy the moment of bliss for now. Her company was always much nicer when she wasn't getting defensive or moody, and you didn't want to ruin a good thing. And ice cream did sound good.

[yami-writes]

yk those tik toks were parents rate famous tik tokers? y/n is doing this with bakugo, kirishima, todoroki and they show them pics and let them rate & say their first impression but like when y/n show them a pic of charli or dixie the boys start crushing hardly, secretly hoping they make their s/o jealous but it turns out the completle opposite & y/n also crushes on the sisters, bc the reader is a closet bisexual & they basically come out then. fluff & crack pls i hope it's not too messy lmao

I LOVE THISSS GHJHLGUKL and i love writing crack its so fun!!!  these turned out longer than i though whoops

rating Tiktokers w/ Kirishima, Bakugo, and Todoroki

(🏷️) paring(s): Kirishima x reader, Bakugo x reader, Todoroki x reader (⚠️) warning(s): just crack and fluff here (💌) note from Yami:: I don't think I added enough fluff but I hope this is good (just know they accepted your bisexual ass with open arms 😌👏)

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kirishima

Ok, I know for a fact Kiri knows what tiktok is

But he’s never on there 

Nor does he have an account

So making him rate tiktokers without him knowing who most of them are sounds like a good idea

But anywayssss

You saw the video a while ago and decided now would be fun to do it

The two of you are in his room after training for a few hours 

Yall were just chilling ✨v i b i n g✨

“Hey, Eiji”

“Hm?”

“Come! I have something for us to do”

He came and sat beside you on his bed

“Rate these tiktokers from 1 to 10”

“Wait why?”

“Why not?”

“...fair enough! Let's go!”

His enthusiasm is exactly what you wanted

You started with some pretty famous tiktokers 

He surprisingly knew who most of them were 

and gave them pretty high ratings

“What's his name?”

“Oh, that's Chase Hudson”

“I give him a 10”

“Why??”

“That name sounds manly!”

Pppffttttt

Then you finally get to the big one

Charli & Dixie D'amelio

“Oh”

“What? You gonna call them manly too?”

“N-no…”

You watched as YOUR boyfriend’s cheeks became the same color as his hair

“their uh- pretty”

“CHARLI AND DIXIE!?”

Not what you expected

You just thought you would brush over this one

Like all the other tiktokers

“I rate them a 10”

“Wow! Really? I would rate them a 100.”

“Huh?”

He’s so confused

“I love them so much! their tiktoks are so nice! Plus…. there pretty..”

“Huhhh???”

“Oh, I've never told you?”

“Huhhhh???”

Stawp ur gonna break him!!!!

“I'm Bi- I guess I never told you… I hope you don't see me-”

“What? No!!! I love you no matter what y/n! You really amazing, and strong, oh, and manly-”

“Ok ok! that's enough! Thanks Eiji”

Bakugo

Ok you convinced him to get a tiktok acc

Not for any particular reason because you know he’s not gonna post

And the only person he follows is you

But it's not like he uses it regardless

So he doesn't know any tiktokers

Now he’s a victim hehe

You just felt like doing something with him

And this was the first idea that came to mind so-

“Hey, suki!”

“What?”

“Come rate tiktokers!”

“Hah??”

“You know what tiktok is! Just come do it! I'm bored”

“Find something else to do.”  

Jeez

You just have to bring out the big guns-

“Fine then. I'll go have mido rate them with me.”

“Hah?? What could that shitty nerd do that I can't?? C’mere!”

Before you knew it you were sitting right beside your boyfriend

“So you wanna do it?”

“Let's just get this over with.” he scoffed

You went through a surprising amount of tiktokers

All of which getting low ratings

As in from -100 to 3

As the two of you went on the tiktokers got more famous

Until you reach them

“10”

“You rate them a 10???”

“Yea.”

You hate how he’s just staring at the photo of them

Not even bothering to glance at you

“Why do you rate them a 10, suki?”

“They're better than the rest of those other extras”

“How are they better?”

“they’re better.”

“Bakugo Katsuki.”

‘Shit’

“I love them too! They're so good at dancing! I just wanna- ahhhh”

‘Huh?’

“You love them?”

“Well, not as much as you, suki haha! But if I didn't love you I would love them…”

Katsuki_bakugo.exe stopped responding

“W-what's that supposed to mean??”

“Yes, I'm Bi.”

“Oh”

That's the only thing that comes out of his mouth for a while, which worries you

“I- I hope you don't think it's-”

“Hah?? No! I don't care! As long as you love me more than those shitty women.”

“HEY!”

“It's not like I'm wrong.”

“Hmph”

Todoroki

You introduced him to tiktok

But never told him to get an acc

He actually made it himself

Baby thinks it's interesting

So he’s fairly aware of the tiktokers on the platform

But anywayssss

The two of you were in your room

He was studying 

smart boi 

While you were, of course, scrolling through TikTok

“Hey shou! I have something for us to do!”

“Im studying”

“But you're already top in class! No need to study so much”

“Just a few more minut-”

“ you have been studying for 3 whole hours, shouto.”

“Hm….. 2 more minutes?”

“...”

You didn't bother to try and reason with him

Instead, you took advantage of the fact that he's weak to your touch

You dragged him on your bed

And you swear you him go

“Oh, ok”

GHUKHLJU

You didn't hesitate to start showing him the tiktokers and expecting him to answer

“Sorry love, but what are we doing?”

“Rate the tiktokers from 1-10”

“oh, Okay”

He didn't rate anyone too high

But then again his ratings weren't low

“Okay, how about this one?”

As you pointed to a picture of Charli and Dixie

Which you debated putting as you lock screen

“Oh, I like them, I give them a 10”

“a 10?”

“Yes.”

“10???”

“Yes?”

He honestly didn't know if something was wrong with his rating

Like~ poor boy was doing what you told him to do

“Wait I'm sorry, did I do something wrong-”

“I'm disappointed, shou”

“What?”

“I thought you knew better than this.”

He’s so confused 

He just rated them like he did with every other tiktoker

“They deserve 100, not 10.”

“...”

“Look at them, shou! You've seen their tiktoks!”

“Uh.. yea I have. Is there a point, y/n??”

“I'm just saying they deserve more than a 10. Their content is so good! Plus they're so pretty!”

a long period of silence

yet you could practically hear cogs turning in his head

“...is this what they call being bi?”

“I see you've been watching a lot of tiktok... But yes, i hope you don't mind”

“Why would I?? Am I supposed to? Is that bad? You know I'd love you regardless.”

Not where you thought that was heading but that's fine

“I- nevermind, let's just keep rating, yeah?”

“Okay”

PRECIOUS

Masterlist

[howardpotts]

hi! may you please write a Bucky Barnes one with prompt 93? take your time :)

So… This almost took me a literal year. But here it is! Haha! Get ready for some cute clumsy Bucky! But I made it pretty long, so enjoy!

(OHMYGOD AFTER I WAS DONE, I REALISED I DID THE WRONG PROMPT!!!!! IM SO SORRY!!!!! but this prompt is too long to ditch and idk there’s a little teasing in it so i guess its a bit like???? the??? prompt????)

93. “It was so worth the injury, though!”

It was a lazy sunday for the both of you. After an intense week of training and excersizing, this sunday was well-deserved. Your muscles were a bit sore and stretchy, so a day of rest felt like heaven. 

“What d’ya wanna watch?”, Bucky asks. You’re both laying on the couch; you’re on the left side while he is on the right. Your feet are in his lap and he’s softly massaging; both feet getting equal attention from him.

“Dunno, maybe a romantic comedy?”, you ask as you watch his reaction. 

“Ugh, no. I’m really not in the mood for that. What about an older movie?”, he suggests. You sigh and shake your head, not feeling that kind of genre at all.

“We could also get to Disney+ and watch-” 

“You and your disney addiction. Rather watch one of those romantic ones”, he smirks, unconsiously pulling your feet a little bit closer to him to get a better grip. 

“Okay, so a romcom it is”, you state as you start scrolling through the feed towards the right section.

“Hey, that’s not what I said! I want to watch something exciting - like a thriller or a horror”, he responds as he gives your left foot a little swat. 

“Yeah? Why don’t you try stop me?”, you challenge with a little smirk on your face. 

“Oh darling, you know you shouldn’t push these buttons”, he warns as he gets a smile on his face as well; throwing your feet off his lap on the ground. Within a split second his body is on yours, his head on the same height as your breasts. His hand reaching for the remote in your free hand.

You’re quicker, though. Your arm goes up, out of his reach. Even though you could predict his next move, you still didn’t move your arm, not sure what other option you have of keeping the remote to yourself. Meanwhile you’ve found the right section and are about to start some random movie that’s first in row. 

“Oh, hell no, baby”, Bucky grins and he pokes in your armpit, making you retract your arm, just before you start the movie. He gets the remote from you and removes himself from you. 

“Babe, are you kidding me?”, you sigh as he gets comfortable again in his spot. He starts zapping through the sections, so now you get into action. You, however, know you’re not going to win it by strength. You need to use your brains.

How do you outsmart a guy like Bucky? Simple. You get him to not think with his brain anymore, but with his dick. 

“James”, you say with a sultry voice. For a second he stops and looks at you before focussing on the screen again with a big smirk on his face.

“You’re going to use your body for this?”, he asks playfully. You know he doesn’t mean it in any way insulting, so you just bite your lip and nod, knowing he’s still watching you from the corner of his eye. 

“Oh baby”, you say as you crawl to him like a tiger. “Oh, James.”

You press your chest to his arm, your hand going through his rough beard. Fingers slowly pushing his head to your direction. His eyes don’t leave the screen, though. 

“Baby, you’re so sexy”, you breath as you start giving him quick kisses on his lips. 

“I know”, he says to your annoyance. You desperately want to roll your eyes, but keep yourself from doing it. Your kisses start going from his lips to his neck, your hand wandering from his chest to his lower parts. 

“Hm, what do you think about The Conjuring?”, he asks, knowingly stretching time to keep this little game going. 

“I’d rather see you fuck my brains out right now”, you respond. He loves direct dirty talk and you know it; so you use it as an advantage. 

“It isn’t working, darling”, he says with a cute little smile on his face. You pout a little, but refuse to give up. Your hand strokes a little over his clothed member as your teeth sink into his neck. 

You can feel the impact your having, as his cock is slowly growing erect right under your hand. You can’t help but smirk at that. 

“Insideous sounds good”, he keeps going. You don’t even respond to that, but you proceed to unbutton and unzip his jeans. 

You sink through your knees in front of him, looking at him. He can’t resist to look at you. He loves looking at you when you’re on your knees in front of him. It makes you vulnerable and submissive. 

You get his cock out, which is still half soft. It still needs a bit of work before you can get the real action going. And so, you get rid of your shirt and throw it to the other side of the sofa. Your hand strokes his cock a no more than two times before it’s hard. 

“Isn’t Slenderman a game too?”, he then says, still searching for a god damn horrormovie. Now, you openly roll your eyes but focus on his cock after that. You pump it a few times more before you spit on it, gaining his attention immediately. 

You lick it from it’s shaft up to his tip and do it two more times. Not just to get it wet, but you know he enjoys those licks too. The foreplay to the foreplay, as he calls it. Two more kittylicks on his tip before you take his cock into your mouth. Slowly you start sucking and bobbing up and down with your head. You look up at him, as seductive as possible.

A sigh leaves his mouth, his eyes flutter shut for a brief second and then watch you. You start to really get into it, and you’re moving faster and faster. Your left hand is now also masssaging his balls, your right hand digging into his leg. A few little moans to strengthen your enthusiasm. 

You see how he closes his eyes again and how he lays his head against the back of the sofa. Your eyes go to the hand where the remote is at and you see it relax a bit. 

Fuck yes. 

Your right hand lets go of his leg and steals the remote in a flash, he didn’t even notice what was going on until you were already owner of the remote again. 

“Didn’t even use my full body”, you say as you get back on the sofa, leaving him hungry for more but irritated to the bone. 

“Oh, but I’m about to use it.” He moves to you - mind you, with his dick still sticking out - and kisses you harshly.

Even though you had fun with this little game, you knew it was over. The remote falls out of your hand, but you don’t even mind for the slightest since his hair is way more fun anyway. You tug is lightly as he greedily squeezes your breast.

Shit, you love hungry Bucky. 

Things went quickly from there on and in no time, neither of you had any clothes on and you were moaning from the magic his finger were providing on your clit. 

“James”, you sigh, now obviously more turned on than the first time. He takes it as a sign to start pumping his fingers in you. Two fingers are getting in and out of you in a fast pace, while you keep on moaning and sighing; the edge is not far from sight anymore. 

“What do you want, baby?”, he sighs. The two fingers stop pumping, but he keeps them in and they start going in circled. God, how you love it when he does that. 

“I want”, you sigh, not able to finish the sentence. “I want your cock.”

A little smirk gets on his face as he removes his fingers and gets himself in position to fuck you. 

A little satisifying hiss leaves his teeth when he gets in you and slowly starts pumping. God, it feels good to have him in you.

He starts pounding harder and harder, both of your breaths are getting heavier. Your moans are getting more obscene, but you don’t really give a shit. He’s is hitting you good and hard, you’re on your way to your orga-

“OH FUCK”, Bucky yells as he slides out of you and back onto the couch. “Cramps. In my leg.”

“Oh, babe, are you okay?”, you ask worriedly.

He nods, but smirks at the same time. “Wanna ride me, baby?”

“A-are you sure?”, you ask a little dumbfounded. Isn’t he in pain? Instead, he nods and grabs your waist to pull you over his lap. 

You let him guide you and get a leg on each side of his hip. He positions his cock for you to sink down on, which you eagerly do. If he says he’s not in so much pain, then you’re willing to go back to having a very good time.

Within seconds you’re back to where you were; very fucking turned on and an inch away from cumming. His hands help you get to a fast but steady rythm, his hips now jerking up to meet yours. 

He squeezes his eyes shut. “Fuck, I’m about to cum. Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck.”

Your own orgams floods over you at that moment. Legs going limp, pace not steady anymore. His hips keep pushing up, hitting you just right. You loudly exclaim his name as you let yourself fall on him, chest to chest. In your mind, you’re taking a note to steal the remote more often if it gets you this kind of pleasure. 

When you get off him, he immediately stretches his leg. 

“Babe, are you okay?”, you ask worriedly. He just smirks and nods.

__________________________

You’re in the compound, waiting for your boyfriend to be done with the workouts with Steve. You planned to go out for diner, so you’re tugging at your dress a bit impatiently. 

Steve comes out of the gym alone, though. A little grin is on his face. 

“I think you’ll be late to the restaurant”, he announces. 

“Oh, god. What did he do this time?”, you ask with a sigh.

“Check out yourself”, Steve chuckles as he gestures to the door he just walked out of. 

As you go through the door, you find Bucky sitting on a bench. Sam was looking at his leg; the same leg he had cramps in yesterday.

“...it was definitely worth the injury though”, he grinned. 

“James. Buchanan. Barnes.” You put your hands on your hips. Both men stiffen at the hearing of your voice. Oh how fun it is to have two super soldiers grow silent when you enter a room. You’re definitely going to take advantage of this.

[pumpkinpaix]

Something with Wen Ning and pretty much anyone else, for “you’re not very intimidating.”

Lan Jingyi frowns, circling Wen Ning with the critical eye of a connoisseur. Wen Ning dutifully holds his position awkwardly, hands held out in claws, face twisted into what he thinks is (hopefully) a terrifying expression befitting his reputation.

“It’s just—” Lan Jingyi sighs, then shakes his head.

“What is it, Lan-gongzi?” Wen Ning asks politely before he can help it, and quickly schools his features back into their previous arrangement. Or at least, he tries. It’s hard when he can’t see himself.

“You’re just not very intimidating,” Jingyi explains, with all the gentleness of a schoolteacher afraid to disappoint an eager student.

“Oh,” Wen Ning says.

“Not that you aren’t making a stellar effort!” Jingyi hastens to add. “Really—a nice touch, the uh—the way you’re holding your hands—I mean, well, it would work better if you hadn’t trimmed your nails—”

“A-Yuan helped me,” Wen Ning supplies, glancing over at Sizhui, who nods encouragingly. Jin Ling snorts, leaning up against a tree.

“Sizhui!” Jingyi scolds. “How is he supposed to scare people with well-kept hands?”

“Maybe he could roll around in some mud beforehand?” Ouyang Zizhen pipes up from where he’s sitting cross-legged on the ground, head propped up on a fist.

“I tried that before,” Wen Ning admits, straightening his posture and dusting off his robes. “I also used some grass.”

“Grass??” Lan Jingyi demands. “What’s scary about grass?”

Wen Ning shrugs. “Wei-gongzi didn’t think it was very scary either.”

“Wei-qianbei doesn’t think anything is scary,” Lan Jingyi scoffs.

Jin Ling snorts, even louder this time.

Jingyi glares. “If you’re not going to help, then why did you even come?”

“Who wanted to come?” Jin Ling retorts automatically. “You’re the one who made such a fuss and dragged me out into the woods for this nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense!” Jingyi exclaims. “Look, it’s important that Wen-xiansheng maintains his reputation! What are people going to do when they find out the Ghost General is actually a meek, stuttering man with good manners? Who would probably serve you tea if you asked nicely?? Look, we can’t stand for that! He’ll be bullied!”

“If I don’t speak, they won’t hear me stutter,” Wen Ning points out. “I can still make the standard fierce corpse noises. That’s scary, right?”

“Yes! Yes, that’s scary!” Jingyi says, seizing onto this kernel with enthusiasm. “Let’s hear it!”

Wen Ning looses one of the guttural growls of the undead, the kind that roll out from somewhere unknown and bestial. They always surprise him on the way out, the way they seem to cling to the air and linger where they’re not wanted.

Lan Jingyi is, somehow, not impressed. “Hm,” he says.

“Not loud enough?” Wen Ning asks.

“The sound was fine,” he concedes. “But your expression didn’t match. Can’t you like, exude some black smoke or something? Turn your eyes red?”

“I think you have me confused with Wei-gongzi,” Wen Ning says.

“Maybe Ning-shushu just isn’t meant to be very scary,” Sizhui says, taking pity on him.

“Yeah, Jingyi, why are you so hung up on this anyways?” Zizhen asks.

Lan Jingyi sighs dramatically. “What is the point!! Of having the Ghost General as an escort on nighthunts!! If people find out that he’s actually just a really nice guy??”

“Is it a problem so long as he can still protect us when things go wrong?” Sizhui wonders.

“Sizhui’s right,” Zizhen agrees. “It’s not like he has to be scary to be strong.”

“This is a waste of time,” Jin Ling declares. “I’m going home. I’ll see you all next week in Qishan.”

“Jin Ling!” Lan Jingyi whines. “Jin-xiaojie!”

“Piss off,” Jin Ling says rolling his eyes. He whistles for Fairy, leaping onto Suihua, and zips out of sight.

“For someone so dramatic, you sure don’t have any sense of flair!” Lan Jingyi calls after him.

“Why don’t we just go back and have some tea?” Sizhui suggests.

“I just received a brick as a gift from my friends up north,” Wen Ning says, lighting up. “I’ve been meaning to see if I can brew it properly at home. Did you all want to try some with me?”

“Oh, that sounds good,” Ouyang Zizhen says, getting to his feet. “I’ve always wanted to try foreign tea.”

“I’ll have to get milk first, but I’m not sure it will work,” Wen Ning says. “The taste might be different.”

“We can go to Caiyi to see what they have,” Sizhui says. “I need to get supplies for nighthunting anyways.”

“That’s true,” Zizhen says. “I have a few things I need to pick up as well. Jingyi, are you coming?”

Lan Jingyi gapes at them. “This is exactly what I’m talking about! The Ghost General is going to serve us all some tea? I mean, that’s—ugh, fine!” He throws his hands up in defeat. “Fine! I can’t believe not one of you has any conception of aesthetic! No good taste for presentation!” He flings an arm around Sizhui’s shoulders. “You’re all absolutely hopeless! What are you going to do without my advice, I swear—” 


—


NOTES: 


(did u think I wouldn’t have any bc this is just a tiny tumblr ficlet?? think AGAIN—)

* I have a very idiosyncratic headcanon that wen ning after he and sizhui went to inter their family’s remains at qishan, he went and travelled all the way north into mongolia, where he ran with some nomadic tribes for a hot minute, made friends, and picked up archery again. that’s where he got the tea.

* secondary related hc: fierce corpses can taste (mildly), but eating doesn’t really do anything for them. wwx has, in the intervening years, worked on some talismans to improve wen ning’s quality of living, such as increasing sensation, reducing stiffness, pausing bodily decay etc. so wen ning can taste more now, though the whole “has to manually vaporize any substance he takes into his body” thing I described in wind&rain still holds im making it up as i go y’all


* basically, this takes place somewhere in the spring dawn universe, but it’s extracanonical silliness don’t mind me

* ALSO re: milk! milk DID exist in tang dynasty cuisine according to my very brief dive into wikipedia before it was later abandoned, so THEORETICALLY, they could acquire milk in china. i guess. maybe. IDK look. i tried.

(prompt list || other ficlets || ko-fi)

[solasan]

otp tag.

tagged by @masonsfreckles​​ and @impossible-rat-babies​​ and like definitely also someone else but my activity is super clogged up so i cant find who I’m Sorry 🥺 but thank u remus and owen mwah tagging: @denerims​​ @arlathen​​ @lvllns​​ @trvelyans​​ @lavellane​​ @chuckhansen​​ @rosebarsoap​​​ @cheydinhaal​​ @darksprawn​​ @deepspeech​​ @yennefre​​ and anyone else who wants to do it tbh

DISAGREEMENTS.

who is more likely to raise their voice?

i mean both, probably? they’re both very passionate people

who threatens to leave but never actually does?

i’ll hesitantly say june but i dont think they’d reach that point

who actually keeps their word and leaves?

neither lmao

who trashes the house?

in day-to-day life, june; she’s very messy. in fights? neither bcos that’s messed up. the Most that’ll happen is adam cracking a piece of furniture in his fist by accident

do either of them get physical?

uhhh they’ll spar from time to time, but outside of that, never

how often do they argue/disagree?

in the beginning?? all the fucking time. every day. they butt heads like they were made to do it. further in, they argue much less, especially once june’s proved adam’s whole “humans are weak!!!” thing wrong

who is the first to apologize?

adam gets bullied into it by nate sometimes. june won’t apologise unless she’s absolutely certain she’s in the wrong, but it does happen. so i guess it depends on the argument

SEX.

who is on top? who is on bottom?

i hate applying the top/bottom thing to m/f ships but adam’s A Top i guess. june is 100% a bottom. but when it comes to actual positioning they’ll change; adam likes missionary a lot, but june likes sitting in his lap and riding him, so

any kinks?

adam is lowkey lowkey very lowkey into orgasm control/denial im calling it. he just likes taking control, but not in an explicit bdsm sense??? june’s into dirty talk and does have a praise kink. she has to coax adam into talking in the beginning but when he gets into the swing of things he loves it

june used to be into getting tied up, but the whole murphy situation kinda fucked that for her

who has the strangest desires?

june probably wins this just purely based on the fact that she wants adam to bite her lmao. he would find that strange. but he would also be into it so

who’s dominant in bed?

adam !!! again not in the traditional like bdsm dominant sense but he takes charge of things

is head ever in the equation?

uhhh, yeah ??? all the time

if so, who is better at performing it?

look. june is very good. she is. but adam has 900 years on her and also more enthusiasm / touch starvation / desperation. adam is a pussy eating KING

ever had sex in public?

the most public they’ve gotten is fucking in the tech lab at the warehouse, that’s it

who moans the most?

both moan, but june’s louder. she’s freer ??? with it ??? but adam grunts and gasps and pants a lot, and when he’s abt to come he’ll groan out her name or a french curse so

who leaves the most marks?

june’s the one that goes out of her way to make marks, just bcos shes a lil sad they fade so quickly. adam leaves the most just bcos june doesn’t heal in the same way

who is the more experienced of the two?

adam might be 900 years old but we all know he’s not had many relationships. june’s more experienced bcos she has one-night stands in college before her and bobby got together

do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

im so sorry but if u look at adam du mortain and think that he doesn’t make love 99% of the time, ur wrong. but sometimes they do get super passionate / desperate for each other, and then they’ll fuck

how long do they usually last?

in the beginning adam lasts like 2 seconds, no joke. that man sees even a hint of june’s coochie and he busts a nut. but further in he can last longer. unless june is being a shit and deliberately trying to get him to come, which she does do

rough or soft?

soft for the most part. if it ever is rough it’s like..... more bcos it’s intense, passionate, less bcos either of them is trying to make it rough. june has some sexual trauma too so really rough sex, like w choking for example, is out of the question (not that i think adam is into choking anyway)

is protection used?

it should be, and when they remember to they do use it. but also they forget a lot shdkshdkd does june look like the type of person to get pregnant on purpose??

does it ever get boring?

nah they keep it fresh. plus they love each other so much it’s just always so good to have each other ???? like after So Long Pining it’s just good idk bro shdjsjdk

where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

idk probably the tech lab like i said above ??? i dont think they fuck in many weird places — not bcos i dont think june would be into it, but more bcos i figure if they ever start getting freaky adam gets them into a bed / somewhere private STAT

FAMILY.

do they plan on having children / do they have children?

yeah they vaguely want them in the future i guess. adam thinks abt june having his baby and has to lie down he 🥺 so hard

if so, how many children do they want/have?

their first kid — emma — is an accident born like a year after they get married, and then oliver comes along a year after that because june always said she didn’t want only one kid. she remembered how lonely she was as a kid :(((

AFFECTION.

who likes to cuddle?

both of them !!! adam is touch-starved and june is starved for affection !!! they cuddle all the time

who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

june 100% no question. WHORE. adam is so done with her but he does always drag her off somewhere to Ravish her so rly who’s winning here

who struggles to keep their hands to themself?

shdkshdkskd both of them. june slightly more so tho

how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

uhhh i dont think it’s rly a matter of one getting uncomfortable, bcos they do love it. probably it’s just as long as they can hold out before 1) june has to pee, or 2) adam resolves to be productive

what is their favourite non-sexual activity?

adam would never admit it but he loves watching movies with june purely bcos she gets so cuddly and ALSO she gets so into them. she’s the type of person to yell at the screen and ask questions all the time. sometimes they’ll compete to see who can work out the plot / twist / mystery of a film first 

where is their favourite place to cuddle?

in bed !!!!! adam loves having her whole body pressed up against him, all small and soft and smelling like june, and june loves how he tucks her into his chest and makes her feel so safe and warm

SLEEPING.

who snores?

ahskhkdja june !!!

if both do, who snores the loudest?

adam doesn’t snore so june. but she doesn’t do it that loudly

do they share a bed or sleep separately?

they share a bed !!!! it’s adam’s way of making sure june does actually go to bed, for one, but also he doesn’t like to sleep without her

if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

cozy up together !!!!! adam’ll kiss her hair and tuck her head under his chin, and june’ll wrap her arms around his torso and kiss the hollow of his throat

what do they wear to bed?

june wears raggedy old band tees or oversized hoodies, boxer shorts, lots of comfy clothes. flannel pyjama trousers. sometimes she’ll sleep in adam’s shirts bcos they smell like him and she likes that, but when she does sleep in adam’s shirts they uhhh haha dont sleep for a while ;)))

are either of them insomniacs?

june is !!! i think around book 4, maybe 5, someone’s gonna talk her into seeing someone abt it — because she really doesn’t sleep a healthy amount, i’m talking 5-8 hours a week — and she’ll start taking sleeping pills, but for now she just drinks a fuckload of coffee and keeps herself busy.

adam’s not rly an insomniac per se, but he doesn’t sleep as much as humans do, obviously

can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

later in the series, yeah. i could see her being put on quetiapine bcos that’s what im on and that shit works

do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

wrap their limbs around each other !!!! june’s like a cuddly octopus shdksjdl but adam loves it, honestly. he’ll often wrap his arms around her and put on of his hands up her shirt, over her spine, so he can have some nice skin-on-skin contact. yknow....... as a treat

who wakes up with bed hair?

both !!!! june’s is probably a bit worse bcos it’s longer ????

who wakes up first?

eh, depends. i’d say adam, bcos he’s More Responsible, but june really doesn’t sleep much, so it could go either way

who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

neither ??? june doesn’t cook and adam’s not a good cook

what is their favourite sleeping position?

either adam on his back with june tucked into his chest, his arms around her, or both of them on their sides and adam spooning june. they love em !!!!

do they set an alarm each night?

they do. june has broken multiple alarm clocks, tho, so make of that what u will

who has nightmares?

both :((( june’s are more frequent, i think

can a television be found in their bedroom?

nah. adam wouldn’t want one, and june watches everything on her laptop

who has ridiculous dreams?

probably june. she’ll sleepily recount them to adam the next morning in bed and he’ll either hm? into her neck to show he’s listening or huff a laugh against her skin

who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

june. adam has learned to accept this fact about her. usually he’ll just position her so that they’re both comfier when she does it, but he has been woken by her elbowing his side before

who makes the bed?

adam. june cba with that shit. she’s just gonna get back in it anyways !!!!

what time is bed time?

adam pushes june to go to bed by 11. sorry u gotta take care of ur stupid energiser bunny girlfriend, buddy

any routines/rituals before bed?

eh nothing in particular i dont think ??? nothing out of the standard brush teeth / clean face / get into pjs thing anyway

who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

june is the GRUMPIEST. she’s not a morning person in the slightest

WORK.

who is the busiest?

hmmmmm. they’re both probably equally busy ??? i mean adam’s the head of the unit so he probs has work he has to do, but then june’s basically the head of the department bcos the captain’s never around, so she has a lot of work. and she has to balance that work with the agency. maybe june’s slightly busier ???

who rakes in the highest income?

eh they’re probs around the same ???

are any of them unemployed?

nope

who takes the most sick days?

june bcos adam doesn’t get sick. also sometimes she just wants A Personal Day and / or is hungover

what are their jobs?

he’s a commanding agent, she’s a liaison and also police detective

who sucks up to their boss?

haha adam’s technically june’s boss and she loves to suck badum tss

who is more likely to turn up late to work?

june shdjshdk girl is Bad at time management. sometimes tho they’ll both be late bcos a morning fuck went on too long. june is very smug on these days

who stresses the most?

uhhh both stress a lot ?? june has anxiety. but adam also is constantly on edge so ????

do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

yeah they enjoy them i guess. adam definitely enjoys his. june is..... complicated. she doesn’t trust the agency and she doesn’t rly wanna be a cop, but she doesn’t know what else she could do so ???

are they financially stable?

yeah for the most part. the agency has good salaries

HOME.

who does the washing?

i think maybe june does it more often just bcos as a human she....... probably ???? goes through more clothes ??? that makes sense to me ??? idk hsdk

who takes out the trash?

adam, usually. especially if it’s dark; june ain’t going nowhere at night

who does the ironing?

again, adam. just bcos he’s more likely to have clothes that need ironing. june has never touched an iron in her life

who does the cooking?

i mean june is notorious for not cooking but rather ordering takeout, so...... i mean i dont think adam is a bad cook but he can rly only cook rly bland, simple meals, and he obviously doesnt need to eat so. i guess if it’s one of them it’s june

who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

yeah june sdhskdhksdk she just has a very short attention span bro idk what to tell u

who is messier?

yep june no question. adam’s a lil bit of a neat freak im calling it

who leaves the toilet roll empty?

neither

who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

yeah june. sometimes adam if he’s had a long day tho. or like if theyre getting Freaky and leaving clothes everywhere. but in general, june’s more likely

who forgets to flush the toilet?

ew gross people do that ?? neither

who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

june shdjjsjdk

who answers the telephone?

uhh both ig ?? but they don’t have like a landline or anything they only have their cells

who mows the lawn?

adam, but only once they’ve moved out of june’s apartment after having the kids. june’s got a black thumb bro she’s not allowed near the garden on nate’s orders

who does the vacuuming?

both !!! they take turns

who does the groceries?

june 100% and she always ends up getting shit that wasn’t on the list shdjskdk. sometimes they’ll do it together tho

who takes the longest to shower?

uhhhh i mean. i think they shower together quite a lot so ???? both ???

who spends the most time in the bathroom?

like getting ready ???? uhh depends. if june’s doing makeup, her, but she doesn’t do it often

MISCELLANEOUS.

is money a problem?

nahhh the agency pays them well

how many cars do they own?

originally only june’s shitty little hatchback, but when the kids are born they get a second one. probably it is very pretty and fancy and expensive, because adam

what’s their song?

either dermot kennedy’s power over me, or fortress by bear’s den. like, seriously, look up the lyrics; they’re the ULTIMATE adamjune songs

do they live in the city or in the country?

does wayhaven count as a city, even if it’s like... a small town ??? idk

do they own their home or do they rent?

june’s renting her apartment currently, but when ollie and emma are born, they buy a place at the edge of town

do they enjoy their surroundings?

eh. neither of them are especially fond of wayhaven, but i think maybe it grows on them over time ??? june definitely in her current point in canon is only there bcos she doesn’t know where else to go

what do they do when they’re away from each other?

Yearn like fools. they miss each other shdjshdk they’ll call each other if adam is ever sent out on an assignment away from town or june has to take some kinda business trip. theyre always super happy to be reunited

where did they first meet?

at an abandoned warehouse in book 1. june shot him. it was great

who spends the most money when out shopping?

uhhhhhh bro i genuinely don’t know ??? adam and june both have terrible taste in clothes; he walks around in cargo pants half the time and she’s never not in something oversized and baggy and possibly falling apart ???

ig june spends a lot on technology ??? and on food ????

who’s more likely to flash their assets?

ok i mean adam has already in canon gotten shirtless and flashed his assets at june while convinced he feels nothing for her so. him. he’s a show-off we all know this

any mental issues?

yeah lmao. june already had ptsd before canon from being assaulted in college, and now it’s just worse bcos of everything with murphy and shit. she also has depression, because obviously, and anxiety. also adhd if that counts ??? it probably counts

i think adam’s got some ptsd too from that Terrible Fiery Scene Of Death we saw in the mirror from his past, and probably that’s compounded by experiences since he became a vampire too ??? possibly some depression as well just bcos i’m now considering his whole ‘numb for years’ thing and how that overlaps with depression ?? :/// idk

who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

adam doesn’t trip often but when he does june howls with laughter. usually if he’s tripping it’s bcos she’s done something Very Distracting. one time she took her shirt off in their living room when he wasnt expecting it and he walked into a wall

when june trips (which she often does) adam will sorta snort very quietly or his lips will twitch but he’ll always stabilise her quickly

who’s terrified of bugs?

yep june 100%

who kills the spiders around the house?

shsjdhskdjk ADAM. “june, it’s just an insect.” “um, untrue, it’s an arachnid, those are different fucking things—” “it’s miniscule. even more so than you are.” “okay, ha, ha, very funny, please kill it, adam i’m serious, kill it, it has eight legs, it’s waiting to murder me, fucking kill it!” “i’m killing it, calm down.”

do they have any fears for their future?

yeah. june’s worried she’s gonna get totally murdered lmao bcos odds are someone’s gonna try again. adam is also terrified abt this distinct possibility. he’s also scared that, like... she’ll live ??? as in ??? she won’t ever turn, she’ll stay mortal her whole life, and after waiting 900 years for her, he’ll only get a few decades with her before she dies.

that’s like not gonna happen she absolutely becomes a vampire after emma and ollie are born but still. he’s dramatic

their favourite place?

the warehouse, probably ??? it’s safe and secure and it’s comfortable ??? or else june’s apartment. i think june prefers her apartment just slightly

who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

adam ??? but it’s more likely that they’d go out to a fancy dinner, rather than him cook one

who pays the bills?

they split them

who’s the tallest?

sndjhskdjkd adam. june hates and loves this fact in equal measure. adam is very smug abt how teeny tiny his girlfriend is shdkshdk he finds it very funny. also very sweet he loves it

who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

both, honestly. theyre bad at keeping their hands off each other once they’re together. maybe june is ever so slightly more likely ?? idk

who wanders around in their underwear?

both. adam likes to distract june w his abs bro what can i say. june just is most comfortable walking around in a sports bra and briefs

who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

june !!! and she’ll lean into his face and sing right at him with this big dumb grin too. adam will refuse to make eye contact but he’ll have this tiny lil smile on his face

what do they tease each other about?

everything. june roasts adam on the daily. adam will very dryly retort back every time. they were made for each other im telling u. 

june will sometimes bring up his whole humans are weak thing at the most ridiculous times. like, adam tries to get her to get out of bed in the morning and she’ll groan and start lamenting how weak and fragile she is, she couldn’t possibly get out of bed in this state, adam, i have glass bones and paper skin, don’t u love me ????

adam’s teasing is just dryly taking the piss out of dumb shit she says. she’ll talk abt a fight she had with someone and say she went “wa-pow!” when she hit them and he’ll just deadpan repeat, “wa-pow.” his face totally straight. i wuv themm

who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

i mean neither they both have bad fashion taste. but also june hates the fucking cargo pants bruh

who crushed first?

adam did shdkshdk even if he didn’t realise. june didn’t figure out she liked him until the time between book 1 and book 2, because she missed him and she couldn’t figure out why

any alcohol or substance related problems?

uhhh no not rly. june has a history of using recreational drugs but that was in college and she doesn’t touch most of that shit these days

who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

june probably shdjshdk she’ll have a girl’s night with farah, morgan, and tina, and just come home absolutely fucking twatted. adam always tucks her in

who swears the most?

yeah june. she swears in every other word. the first time she made adam curse is burned into her brain seriously she takes such pride in it

[forevermybubblegum]

♡SHORT STORY♡

THE forest hummed with life all around you. Your eyes squinted open slowly, mind still trapped in a foggy haze, as you gazed up at the orange painted sky, searching for the birds that flew about. The sun broke through the cracks, lighting up the dark bushy greenwood decorated with outgrown roots, wildflowers and fallen leaves that crunched as you tried to sit upwards. You shielded your eyes, taking in the fragrance of minty grass and damp earth. Each breath feeling like water, fresh and cleansing, flowing freely into your lungs.

You feel little bit of shock spark through you as you feel a heavy body on your lap, it's Tanjiro's head resting gently on your lap as he breathes slowly through his mouth, face dusted black with dirt and debris.

"What....?"You mumbled as your eyes widened when you spotted your other teammates Inosuke and Zenitsu sprawled on the floor unconscious and beaten.

You gasped, "Nezuko!"You exclaimed as you spotted Nezuko out of her box in the same state as others, you pondered through your thoughts trying to remember the events of the nightfall. Oh yes,You all were fighting a duo from the twelve kizuki, they were the most powerful foes you had ever faced and from the looks of it your team had succeded because they would have either kidnapped or killed you all if they had won.

Just then while you were recalling back your memory, A flash from the past whiffed through your mind in a blur,

"Tanjiro!"You had yelled, as Tanjiro whipped an arm to tell you to stand back, "Stay back Y/n!, your gonna get hur--Ack!" The female opponent landed him a powerful flying spin kick to the head, causing him to collide into the ground as figments shattered about.

"How dare you!"You had screeched as you sheated out your black katana from its scabbard. You held it firmly in both hands, the gradient glimmering in the blood moon light.You weren't the strongest and your hands were shaking more than it ever had, but you couldn't afford to let fear falter your determination to protect your comrades. Zenitsu and Inosuke were busy with the Male Demon, you could at least stall her for a while.

"You're mine pest!"She taunted as her long tongue fell out her mouth and she sped towards you, you screamed as you charged towards her but she slid under you and wrapped her long lizard-like tail around you neck, you dropped your sword in the rush of things and tried to loosen your neck as you were being chocked.

"Y/n!Y/n!"Inosuke and Zenitsu immediately charged towards you but were immediately blocked further by the male demon,"Oh no you don't!" He sang, cackling melancholicly.

She unwrapped her tail from your neck and dropped you to the floor as you gasped for breath heavily then feeling her tail tug unto your right leg and pull you up to hang you upside down, "Hmmmm, such nice soft legs..I wonder what will happen if I break them"She whispered,red eyes gleaming as she ran her tongue down from your knee to your ankle and you bit your lip in disgust,eyes shut tight.

"Heheeheee..."You heard a crack, not believing it was yours till the strong wave of pain ran through your veins. You screeched in pain as surprised birds flew out the trees they had being hiding in.

"Y/n!!"Your teammates yelled as the other crack was heard, the pain was unbearable, tears streamed down your eyes as you screamed and could do nothing more than tha--.

You snapped out of the nostalgic recap and looked to see yourself still staring at Tanjiro as you gently ran your hand through his red hair with a smile on your face.You then removed his head from your lap and placed it gently on a folded piece of your robe next to you as you stared at your right leg, the bruise was more than noticeable and you gently tried to massage it to see if it would help but- "Ow!" You winced in pain as you shut an eye.

You then began to hear footsteps inching nearer and nearer to you, you stiffed yourself, scared to death that it was another demon when Hashiras and medical care came in the sight of your E/c pupils rushing to you all. You let out a loud sigh in relief as Shinobu rushed to you and you rested your head on her lap when did.

"Shinobu...san..."You breathed out with a smile on your lips as she gently shushed you with a worried frown on her face, you slowly began to lose consciousness once more as you fell into a deep sleep.

*Few Weeks Later*

"Y/n...I miss you, I'm so sorry for not protecting you..Y/n.."You felt a pair of warm hands cupping your right one as you slowly squinted your eyes open, sun kissing your skin lightly through the scraped space of the half opened window.

"T...tanjiro?"You asked softly as you turned your face to look at him, his worried eyes widened in joy as he jumped up from his chair.

"Y/n!!"

"T-tanjirooo!"You tried to match up his enthusiasm as he hugged you while you were on the bed, your right foot wrapped in a cast filled with colorful signatures. You giggled in joy and you hugged him back with one arm patting his back.

"Y/n forgive me..."Tanjiro said in a serious tone gently and calmly,falling back onto his chair. "Tanjiro I--"

"I let you down, its my fault that your leg...and you were so badly injured I--"

"Tanjiro its not your fault, I charged in when I shouldn't hav--"

"BECAUSE YOU WERE PROTECTING ME!"He yelled furiously as you were taken aback by his outburst.

"I-I'm sorry Y/n.."He mumbled in a downhearted tone as you reached in and placed your hand on top of his.

"Yoshi yoshi Tanjiro-kun"You sang gently as he laughed and sniffed, giving you his usual kind smile.

"Okay I know what im going to do!!"He exclaimed with his hands resting on his hips like a superhero.

"Hm?What?"You asked gently with a smile on your face.

"Im gonna be the one to take care of you while you recover!!"He annouced as your brows shot up.

"Ehhhh! Tanjiro you dont have to do tha--!!"

"I will and I will!!"He exclaimed as you smiled to yourself, knowing you couldn't stop him anymore after he had made his choice.

"Y/nnnnnnnnn!!!"You heard Zenitsu burst into your hospital room with tears streaming down his face.

"I knew I heard your voice! I missed you!!"He cried and went up to hug you which you reciprocated, "Zenitsuu! Y/n needs her rest!"Tanjiro warned as Zenitsu stuck his tongue out at him and skipped out of the room,wiggling his eyebrows at both you and Tanjiro as you noticed Tanjiro's cheeks dust in a light shade of pink.

"How is Nezuko and Inosuke?"You asked as Tanjiro gave you a reassuring smile.

"Ah they are well and hearty,Nezuko really wanted to see you after she woke up"He informed as you giggled, Nezuko was your closest and only girl-friend in the group, both of you were inseperable.

"Ahaha, I want to see her too"

"Y/n! You better get well so we can fight each other again!"You heard Inosuke's voice as he walked past your room,You chuckled and yelled "Will do!"in response, just happy to hear from everyone again.

A few days passed and....,"Chu chuuu!"Tanjiro mimicked a moving train as you opened your mouth and he placed the spoon filled with steaming rice and curry inside your mouth and you chewed it slowly.

"Tanjiro, you know you don't have to say chu chuu everytime you feed me"You pouted as he laughed and ruffled you hair in a caring manner and you ate more of the curry.

* * * * * *

Another day passed by and the morning had reached quicker than expected, Tanjiro as you've guessed had never left your side, he even read you a book every night as you doozed off.

"Good morning Y/n, It's time for your bandage change, Tanjiro would you like to stay?"The nurse asked as he nodded in response, both of you had been chatting before the nurse had come in. The syringe needle then came in sight taunting you as your eyes widened in horror,

"Not again"You whined, squirming in your bed as she smiled in pity,knowing this was your worse part of the day.

"It will be okay Y/n,I'm here"Tanjiro said as you took a deep breath and as much as you wanted to jump out of the bed you took his hand in yours and squeezed it tight instead.

"Ow.."You yelped startled as she injected you and few seconds later she was done, then changing your bandage and leaving.

"See that wasn't so bad"He smiled causing the tips of your lips to quirk up as well,"Yes, it really wasn't"You replied gently as you then realized both of you were still holding hands.

"Um...I-"You face increased steadily in its temperature as your cheeks reddened in a noticeable manner.

"Y/n?What's wrong?Are you coming down with a fever?"He asked, worry dipping from his wrods as he raised up your straightened h/c bangs and placed his strong forehead on yours causing you heartbeat to quicken.

"I-I-I need to rest! Yeah, thats what I need!"You blabbered in a flustered manner as you fell onto your bed and faced the opposite side of him so that he could see your back instead.

"Okay, I actually do have to go train now, Sleep well Y/n"Tanjiro's gentle voice rang through your ear and you bit the inside of your cheek.

"Why does he make me feel this way?.." You thought calming yourself down as you began to doze off into a serene state of rest.

* * * * *

"Y/nnnn cmon just take it!"Tanjiro whined, pleading you as you shook your head even more.

"You wont get better if you don't"He said giving you another reason to take your disgusting medications from the tray they laid on.

"Ugh fine..I hate this"You mubled as he beamed, happy yhat you armgreed and placed them on your palm accompanied by a glass of refreshing water. You shut your eyes close and quickly downed the drugs,grimacing in distate.

"Bitter..."You mumbled, smacking your tongue against your upper mouth as Tanjiro patted your head as his usual form of comfort.

* * * * *

"The Traveler then strolled into the forest and was never seen or heard from, 'again'"Tanjiro narrated the book in a scary way as he shut it close, laughing at how scared you were quivering under your bed sheet.

"Y/n dont be scared, Im here to protect you and this time without fail"He smiled as you removed the blanket from you and looked up at him.

"Thank you Tanjiro, I lo--"You stopped yourself, were you just about to say you loved him?, Do you love him?, Does he love you the same way you do? Do--

"Y/n!"Tanjiro yelled worriedly as you snapped out of your thoughts and back to reality.

"Are you alright!?"He asked as he placed both hands on your shoulder and you laughed in response, "I'm fine Tanjiro-kun, thank you for taking care of me"

"Don't thank me for doing my duty Y/n"He replied as he took your right hand into his warm ones,beaming once more as your heart thumped like it usually did when you were around him.

* * * * * *

"Slowly, one more step, yes you're doing it"Tanjiro smiled and instructed you as he helped you to walk down the hallway , your leg had actually recovered to the point where you were allowed to leave your hospital room and see your friends.

"I can't do it Tanjiro-san!"You whined with an arm slung on Tanjiro's shoulder for support.

"Yes you can Y/n, try try!"He supported you with encouraging words as you smiled and continued to walk with him. Ignoring the pain and limping to the field where Inosuke, Zenitsu and Nezuko were according to Tanjiro.

"Mina!!Guys!"You exclaimed as Nezuko who had been running away from Zenitsu paused to stare at you, you could see the edge of her brows perk up in worry as she hurried towards you and engulfed you in a hug.

"Yoshi yoshi Nezuko-chan, I missed you too"You giggled as Nezuko cuddled her head on your chest.

"I see you're ready to spar me again idiot"Inosuke smirked as the same expression found its way to your face.

"Come at me stupid"You responded as he began to run up to you but was blocked by Tanjiro.

"Leave Y/n Alone Inosuke, Fight me instead"Tanjiro said as Inosuke thought about it for a second and accepted his offer.

"Wait..."You thought as you stared at the space Tanjiro was supposed to be in next to you, only see blank lines of his body causing you to fall to the ground.

"Owie...my butt.."You mumbled, rubbing your backside as everyone gasped and ran up to you. You stared at their distraught faces and couldnt help stifling and then bursting out laughing. Everyone except nezuko joined in while she just blinked and looked around like usual.

* * * * * * *

"Can I open my eyes now?"You asked pouting as you waved your arms around to make sure you didn't hit anything since all you could see was black because Tanjiro was covering your eyes.

"Almost there"He told you as you pouted even more and continued walking,you then noticed you were in the field because of how normal the grass had felt tickling your feet.

Your eyes were uncovered and you stared at the beautiful arrangement of hung flowers,decorations and tables filled with food and snacks, it was nighttime as well and in the background of the midnight sky you could hear the whistle of fireworks as they bursted in a pure bliss of colorful sparks all around.

"HAPPY RECOVERY Y/N!!!!"Everyone including you team, friends, nurses and even the hashira's came out of their hiding spots and yelled out to you as the fireworks continued in the background.

Gentle and silent tears streamed down your cheeks as your heart ached,"Thank you guys,thank you so mu--"You were surprised to feel yourself held by the shoulders and twisted right to face someone.

"Tanjiro, w-what are you--"You were cut off by his lips pressing gently on yours as he placed his hands firmly onto your waist, with eyes wide and a thumping heart his kiss stole all thoughts that had enveloped your mind.

The crowd began to cheer loudly as your eyes fluttered close and with hot cheeks you willingly kissed him back, wrapping your eyes around his neck gently and humming in gentle pleasure.

"Yeah Tanjiro go get some!!"The Fire Hashira yelled as he was smacked in the head by Giyuu.

"Young love...so b-beautiful"The Love Hashira mumbled as she wiped the tears forming at the corner of her lids.

He then pulled away causing you to whimper at the lost of his lips as he placed his forehead on yours, "Y/n, I love you"He said, breathing heavily but still gentle enough to not be heard.

"Tanjiro, I...I love you too"You smiled genuinely, heart skipping in the background.

"Will you be mine?"He asked as he knelt on one knee, holding a rose that came out of nowhere with a hopeful smile on his face.

"I--"You then nodded, being too nervous to answer his question properly, "Oh my God guys she said Yes!!!"Tanjiro yelled to everyone as they all began to cheer and clap excitedly. He then embraced you in a warm and loving hug which you accepted. Standing on your tip toes to peck him on the lips, its a good thing your leg was fully healed.

"You and I forever Y/n"He whispered in your ear as you smiled and nodded.

"Mhm, You and I forever, Tanjiro-kun."

[roseverdict]

Bent Out Of Shape (Part 5: Forever Creased)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 so tumblr hates my guts rn so im just gonna hold off on embedding links this time, but check my "bent out of shape update" tag for the rest, it's nothing but chapters without any of the meme screams i tend to drop in the "bent out of shape" tag ekcjdjcbdkc

i lost my first post to the tumblr draft void and i dont wanna try to rewrite my original note xksjdkkdjd rip me

Content warnings: None! :D At least, I don't think so. It's the same sort of stuff as the past few parts so it should be fine. I'm super-tired skxbskcbdkdjd

〜〜〜〜〜〜

Mystery laughed, a quiet, disbelieving laugh. (When had his pups become so strong?) "Well, it is a long, winding tale, but one we may not have time for. Suffice it to say, the plant spirit, Shiromori, has been after me for a long time. She craves the power that she receives from my lifeblood, and she's proven to me before that she's willing to bleed me dry if given the chance."

Vivi was already pacing, holding a hand to her chin in thought. "Hm, yeah, the lifeblood of a kitsune would definitely fall under 'ultimate power-up,' wouldn't it?" She turned back to them and threw a fist into her empty palm, a determined grin growing. "We'll just have to make sure she never gets the chance, then!"

"How are we gonna stop her?" Arthur asked. "I doubt she'd just let us waltz on up and yeet her into Lewis's flames this time. We've already done that once, so she has to be expecting it."

"Whatever we do, we have to figure it out soon. It's getting darker and darker already." Lewis pointed out.

"Hey, Mystery, y'think you could help me work out my magic some before we go out there, fists a-swinging?" Vivi asked. "You're an ancient fox spirit, and Art and Lewis can't die again, but I wanna be able to hold my own if this Shiromori targets me again."

The idea made him pause. Vivi, for all her boisterous, blustering enthusiasm, was still only human. Granted, a human who kept the company of powerful spirits and held the strongest magic in her family's bloodline for generations, but…

…still so easily snuffed out.

"If you two wanna get started on a crash course in supernatural self-defense, I can go keep an eye out?" Arthur suggested, pointing out the window. "In case Shiromori shows up and we need to get ready to throw down?"

"Please do." Mystery nodded, the idea setting him a bit more at ease. "If any of the plants start doing anything more than growing, give us a shout. She will be well on her way here by then."

"I'll go with you." Lewis set a hand on Arthur's left shoulder before he could leave. "Two heads are better than one, right?"

Mystery watched with a small smile as Arthur grinned. "Right. C'mon, let's go keep watch."

As the ghosts left the living room, Vivi turned back to him. "So, how's this whole 'magic' thing supposed to work?"

Mystery's fond smile shifted to a more stern line. It was time to inform Vivi of her true strength.

"At its core, magic is a manifestation of will. Supernatural beings have an easier time of accessing it, due to the lack of solidity holding them together." He began, noting with pride how Vivi paid rapt attention. "The physical form of the average human gives them plenty of opportunities to change the world around them, so any dormant magical power within them often stays that way. Only in the events of an emotionally intense moment, or a terrible death, will that magic make itself known."

"You mean like that whole mess at Kingsmen?" Vivi asked, eyes wide.

"Exactly like that whole mess at Kingsmen." Mystery nodded. "In the case of dying, the magic almost always congeals into a ghostly form around the dead person's soul, affected by their personality and the way they died."

Vivi's eyes drifted to the hallway Lewis and Arthur had gone down, and Mystery hurried to draw her mind back to the impromptu lesson.

"In your case, however, you were surrounded by supernatural beings as emotions ran higher and higher until finally…" He flicked his paw to the side, trying to figure out how to phrase it. "…the magic within your spirit awoke. We can work on finer control and formal incantations later. The quickest way to bring it back to the surface, at least at first, is to try and recreate the emotions you were feeling at the time. So, Vivi…"

She blinked, her mind already whirling as Mystery finished.

"What exactly were you thinking about?"

Vivi frowned, plopping back down on the couch. "Well, I was confused, but more than that…I knew whatever was going on wasn't gonna end well. Lewis was back, even though I didn't know it, and Arthur wasn't in the van when I came to, so he had to have been in danger. There was a crazy plant lady, Shiromori, trying to get to you, so you had to have been in danger. All I could do was grab my bat and start swinging, and heaven help anyone who hurt my friends-!"

Mystery gasped. The sight of a magic-user intentionally calling forth their power for the first time still filled him with the same awe as it had hundreds of years ago.

Vivi's fists crackled and snapped with the deathly chill of a thousand midwinter nights, and frost slowly inched over her skin. Her heart still beat, so he knew she wasn't giving herself frostbite, but as the ice bloomed up her forearms, he found himself shivering in the sudden cold.

The movement seemed to snap Vivi out of her trancelike state, and the biting cold receded with her surprised giggle. "Whoa…did I do this?" She lifted her fists up to her face, watching the ice melt into thin air until she could move her fingers freely again.

"I do believe you're one of the most powerful mages I'll ever have the pleasure of tutoring." Mystery managed a dumbfounded chuckle. "Congratulations, Vivi."

"Sweeeeeeet…" A wide grin slowly worked its way onto Vivi's face, and she seemed to be about to ask him something, but-

Thud-thud! Thud-thud-thud!

Click! Squeeeak…

Thwack!

"UNCLE LANCE?!"

Arthur's voice drowned out Lewis's shout of "Mr. Kingsmen!!!" when it came a split second later.

Mystery was peering out at the entryway in a blink, and Vivi wasn't far behind.

Arthur and Lewis looked to be getting Lance inside and away from the foliage outside, with Lewis holding the door shut as Arthur propped Lance up to sit against the wall.

"Mr. Kingsmen! Are you okay?" Vivi yelped, rushing forward to help Arthur keep him upright.

Lance coughed, and while he spat up orange-brown chunks, a moment's glance assured them all that it was just sand, as did Galaham's squeaking in his pocket.

Although that begged the question of just why he was coughing up sand in the first place.

"Y'know that loopy tree woman?" He countered, pushing himself up with the mangled remains of his shotgun and wheezing for air. "She popped up in the parking lot and started ransacking the place, probably for you." He nodded to Mystery before continuing. "She got fed up with not knowing where you'd gone and just…raised a pine tree, of all things, right through the lot before leaving. I got hit with the sand she kicked up, but aside from that and…" a gasp, "…and running all the way here when I'm not in my prime anymore, I'm fine."

After remembering oh right, he'd blown his cover, Mystery gave each of his pups a quick nod. "Get him to a chair for him to catch his breath, and then we have to move."

"Got it." Arthur returned the nod, helping Lance get to his feet and down the hall.

"From what I heard, it sounded like the magic lesson was going well?" Lewis offered them a grin.

Vivi beamed and wiggled her fingers. "Yeah! Turns out I've got some super-cool ice magic powers!"

Lewis chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Sounds like you were having a bla-wait."

He narrowed his eyes at her.

She turned the cheekiness up to 11.

Mystery wished he had a hand with which to slap his face.

Vivi broke the standoff first. "Hahahah, no but seriously, I think I had Mystery shivering from the cold, and I had some sick ice boxing-glove-thingies!"

Lewis's face filled with the dopiest, most love-struck smile Mystery had seen in quite a while, and he just let the silence speak for him.

Arthur chose this moment to come back. "Alright, Uncle Lance is all set up, and I think I did something?" He lifted his hand in explanation, letting a few residual sparks fade away. "I'm not sure what, but I'm pretty sure Shiromori's not gonna be able to touch him now. Magic and intent, right, Mystery?"

Mystery tilted his head, feeling for the hastily-erected ward in the living room, crackling with Arthur's trademark DIY-ness but unceremonious and steady and safe. He smiled. "Indeed. He should be alright as long as we take care of Shiromori soon."

"Then let's get cracking!" Vivi threw a fist into the air, shimmering ever-so-slightly from the magic still flitting about her edges.

〜〜〜〜〜〜

If things had been different, Vivi figured the sight around her would have flung her to cloud nine and beyond. A spectral entity of incredible power, manifesting in the desert with flora from all across the world, with the ability to assume a more mobile humanoid form? It wouldn't just make her day, it'd make her year!

But Shiromori wasn't there to play games.

Vivi let the frost creep up past her wrists as she led the others through the trees and cacti and countless other plants she couldn't even begin to dream up. "Any idea where she'd try to look for you, Mystery?"

Mystery trotted a little closer to her, his brow furrowed in that way that normal dogs could never manage. "Probably places where my essence is strongest. Kingsmen Mechanics, the Paradiso, and your house. Since you live across town from the others, however, she will likely check your house last."

There came the sound of fire snapping, and Lewis's voice only confirmed his worry. "But, if she was, if she was already at Kingsmen, then-"

"I guess we're heading to Pepper Paradiso." Arthur cut him off, and Vivi could picture the reassuring hand he'd put on Lewis's shoulder.

Not because she was looking, however much she wanted to see them enjoying each other's company after the terrible, rank debacle their friendship had become.

Her eyes were instead trained on the sight of writhing plant life where the Paradiso was meant to be.

"Good news!" She forced her voice to stay peppy. "We know where she is! Bad news! The Pepper Paradiso is a mess!"

The others rushed up to stand (or float) at her side, Lewis to her left, Mystery and Arthur to her right.

"I'm not sensing any deaths…" Lewis managed, his eyesockets wide.

(Arthur's shocked "Wait, we can do that???" went largely ignored for the moment.)

The hackles on Mystery's back bristled, and deep red flickered out from the base of his tail. "We can't afford to waste any more time!"

"Don't gotta tell me twice!" Vivi ground out, sprinting forward as ice bloomed beneath her feet, lasting just long enough to ensure she wouldn't get tripped up by vines before evaporating again. Behind her, she heard Arthur and Lewis flare up, and soon they were neck and neck, with the steadily-growing Mystery just behind them.

Hah. A newly-empowered frost mage with ice encasing her limbs, two skeleton ghosts with affinities for fire and electricity, and a kitsune on the lam, and all four of them were getting ready to do battle with a tree spirit who had pretty much taken over Tempo.

If her past self had known she was going to experience this, she probably would've spontaneously combusted in excitement.

Needless to say, she thought they made a pretty intimidating impression once they got to the Paradiso.

What she hadn't counted on was seeing the rest of the Pepper family strung up in vines better suited for a jungle or rainforest, with customers restrained to their seats.

She had also not counted on Shiromori nonchalantly lounging on one of the diner's tables, as if just waiting for them to bust down the door.

Her words were Japanese, but in much the same way that Vivi had recently caught the occasional stray emotion off of Lewis or Arthur, she understood the meanings loud and clear. "I was wondering when you children might show up. I went to all the trouble of getting this little party together, and it would have been a shame if you'd never caught on, you know."

It seemed Vivi wasn't the only one to Know what Shiromori said, for Arthur took a step forward, his anchor pitter-pattering to the tune of blues and reds and an overwhelming magenta. "What is your problem, lady? What did they do to get you to hold them hostage?!"

"Why, nothing!" Shiromori laughed, swinging her stubby legs over the table's edge and sliding off. Her words slunk through their minds like over-greased, soggy fries. (Or maybe Vivi was just hungry and smelling what had been cooking before Shiromori had shown up.) "I just needed a way to get your 'pet' to come to me! And it worked, did it not?"

Lewis's hand came down on Vivi's left shoulder, and she saw Arthur freeze up for a moment as the other hand met his right shoulder. Quietly, his voice popping in and out like TV static, he murmured, "You two go get them free. Mystery and I can take care of this."

Shiromori lifted a not-eyebrow, as if the sight before her was somewhat amusing. "Oh? You feel you can take me on, little ghostling? Even while surrounded by plant life under my power? In a building you couldn't bring yourself to burn?"

Lewis didn't respond.

Mystery did.

"NOW!"

And the Mystery Skulls went on the offensive.

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #181

UPDATE 181: Meat

A long time ago, I finished reading Homestuck. It was quite the long tale, and it was rather enjoyable! At the time I thought there ‘d be nothing else, because Act 7 seemed like quite the final chapter – or if there was anything, it’d be bits and pieces that wouldn’t warrant a liveblog. Yet here we are! Turns out, after this long, there’s epilogues. In plural, as you can see. Somehow, there are now epilogues and they’re said to be quite long, too. After taking a cursory read that made me read more than I thought I would, here I am, reopening this liveblog to explore the epilogues.

What I have read so far...is not particularly enticing or even likable, at least in terms of enjoyment, really, but there’s something about the writing that makes me want to continue. Credit where it’s due, yeah. Still, I’m interested in seeing where this is going, and now, I’m posting my thoughts here for everyone to see. Here we go! So, let’s start with the epilogue liveblog!

You know, before that, I should note that now the story has its own URL instead of being into the old mspaintadventures website. Kind of late in the game for this change, Mr. Hussie. I mean, the story is over, and although there’s a whooole lot of new content, it seems a bit senseless to have this in its own domain. Then again, the rest of the mspaintadventures stories were kind of...hidden away in the website? I don’t remember links to them, when I used to read Homestuck. Maybe Homestuck getting its own domain is for the better. I do wonder if this is a hint more stuff will come in the future. The extra-epilogue. The postscript-extra-content. The seriously-guys-this-is-the-end chapter.

There are two epilogues, it seems. One is meat, the other is candy. I immediately notice this is related to the cherubs’ food. I wonder if it means one epilogue will be...bloodier? Crueler? More chaotic and violent? I mean more like something Caliborn will like, while the other will be more to Calliope’s tastes. I’ll start with the meat epilogue, simply because it’s to the left.

From what I can tell at a glance, there are no images, but there are colored words, most likely from conversations between characters. That should be fine, although Homestuck was pretty visual at times, its strength was the writing and characterization.

Well then! The very first paragraph already beats most of Homestuck in terms of extremely descriptive stuff. Heck, this reminds me of Worm, with its extensive paragraphs about bugs and how they crawl on people and cause all sorts of nasty effects. I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

Meat was definitely the right choice, you think, as grease drips down your chin. The meat is cold and undercooked, so you have to grab it with both hands while you rend it apart with your incisors. It bursts in chunks, filling your mouth with blood and your throat with mangled knots of gristle and long strings of muscle fiber. You take big bites, almost too big to swallow, so big that you choke on the meaty mulch and hock some of it up into your nasal cavity. You sneeze out a gooey rope of phlegm and flesh. You stop for a moment to wipe your face, but your chin is still slippery after you swipe the mess away. Slivers of meat catch between your teeth as you masticate with bestial enthusiasm. You use your thumbnail to fish them out.

...am I eating this meat straight from the cow.

Apparently the person who is eating meat that’s almost raw is John, who I guess gained a taste for raw meat at some point. Maybe he’s trying to emulate Jade’s canine half, for all I know. He’s with Roxy and Calliope, the later providing the meat. I suppose cherubs wouldn’t know about cooking meat. Speaking of cherubs, eating meat reminds John of Lord English, and he gets so sick thinking of Lord English he decides he knows what he must do. Alright! Didn’t waste any time dilly-dallying around!

JOHN: i have to go back and kill lord english.

ROXY: u sure?

JOHN: i think so. it will probably be hard. but i think it’s the right thing to do.

JOHN: everyone is counting on me.

When is this epilogue set? Before Act 7? I thought by now Lord English was dead and gone, not that it still was something that needed to be done. Then again, it’s not like Lord English’s death was shown on screen, if I remember correctly. Maybe this is after Act 7 and he’s going back in time with his retcon powers. I suppose he’d still have them.

Roxy seems disappointed, so I suppose she knew this had to be done at some point. Given John’s retcon powers, it’s not impossible this is the last time she sees John if things go wrong. Calliope is more accepting, saying it’s John’s decision. Time to leave?

Seriously, things have gotten quite more descriptive now. Still unsure if that’s good or not.

The farewell is quite unsatisfying, and the moment passes without John being able to make it better, so he goes to prepare himself and write a note for Roxy as a farewell and/or apology. Not only to her, to all of his friends. It’s like he’s aware the chances he’ll return here aren’t that high. I wonder if John would die here at the end. It’d be quite...something!

In this epilogue, there’s a Troll Kingdom, which I imagine is ruled by the trolls who survived Homestuck, raising the grubs created by ectobiology. Dave and Karkaroni are there, Dave lives with the trolls, I suppose because his relationship with Karkaroni now includes living in his hive.

KARKAT: NOT NOW DAVE. JAKE’S ASS IS ON TV AGAIN.

DAVE: stop ogling jakes ass this is important

KARKAT: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHOSE ASS I SHOULD STOP OGLING.

Apparently the reason why Jake’s ass is on TV again is because he and Dirk have a show involving rap battles and robot wrestling, which I suppose is the natural progression from when Jake used to get said ass kicked by a robot. People like the show, and I’m already convinced it’s partly because of the schadenfreude of seeing Jake losing against robots – because no way Dirk is losing, hah

Karkaroni has a few choice words for the fake gladiatorial show, and points out this show is all about zooming onto Jake’s ass. Maybe ‘pumpkin patch’ is an euphemism. Either way, the relevance of the TV show is eclipsed by the announcement Jane is running for president of the entire Earth. Aha, truly the wretched pastry baroness’ descendant.

DAVE: i dunno crocker is just an ambitious woman i guess

KARKAT: THIS SOUNDS FUCKING AWFUL.

DAVE: oh it is

DAVE: it absolutely is

DAVE: also like

DAVE: dont tell her i said this but

DAVE: i think shes basically a fascist

...well then. Oh all things that could have been used to describe Jane from what I remember of her, ‘fascist’ didn’t come not even close. Then again, it’s not like Karkaroni had any meaningful contact with Jane, and all Dave did was call her hot, which isn’t really the epitome of camaraderie and intimidate knowledge. They both even admit to that.

DAVE: oh also shes a fucking xenophobe

KARKAT: OF COURSE SHE’S A XENOPHOBE!

...ah.

...

Did I miss something? Was there something between Act 7 and these epilogues that revealed Jane harbors xenophobic inclinations? Why am I having to ask aloud ‘hey is Jane a xenophobe’

KARKAT: DAVE, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE NOTICED, BUT

KARKAT: A LOT OF HUMANS ARE???

DAVE: yeah ive noticed

Well, that part isn’t really surprising. Humanity just has a knack for looking down on other people, I can only imagine how it’d be when it’s about other sapient species. If aliens ever make contact with humanity it’ll be a social mess.

Since letting Jane claim the spot of president of Earth is not good, apparently, Dave wants to stop her, eliciting laughter from Karkaroni who is already imagining Dave running against her. No, Dave couldn’t handle that responsibility, no way.

DAVE: anyway no

DAVE: im not running

DAVE: you are

Hm...unless Karkaroni got over the many issues he had from his leadership attempt during Sgrub this can’t end well. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t like the idea, precisely because he doesn’t feel like he has what’s needed to be a leader. It’s not that he would lose horribly – Karkaroni actually is rather popular. I suppose all of the Homestuck survivors are popular – it’s that he doesn’t feel ready and he seems to hate the attention. Understandable.

KARKAT: MAYBE I DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE BEING FAMOUS?

KARKAT: AND MAYBE THAT’S AS GOOD A FUCKING REASON AS ANY *NOT TO RUN FOR THE FUCKING PRESIDENCY OF EARTH*?????

KARKAT: NOT TO MENTION THE IDEA OF AN ELECTION IS KIND OF A FUCKED UP AND WEIRD THING TO ME CULTURALLY ANYWAY, AND I’M STILL KIND OF GETTING USED TO THE IDEA THAT PEOPLE CAN JUST... “CHOOSE” THEIR FUCKING LEADERS AND NOT HAVE THE SAME OLD MERCILESS BITCH IN POWER FOR SEVERAL MILLION YEARS.

Perfectly valid reason. I mean, it’s not something kind of inconsequential as being the class president of sophomore year in school or whatever it’s like up there in America. It’s president of the entire planet. If Karkaroni wins there will be consequences, even if he steps away immediately. Either he commits to this fully, or he simply shouldn’t run.

DAVE: ok ill just be the one to come out and say it

DAVE: shes going to be a fucking disaster for the economy

So Jane’s a republican. Haha! Ah, I shouldn’t touch this not even with a ten-foot pole. Nevermind that.

DAVE: i guess i have to admit

DAVE: part of this

DAVE: for me personally

DAVE: its

KARKAT: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING DAVE

DAVE: its about obama

Somehow, I didn’t even bat an eye with Dave described part of the reason why this is personal for him is because Obama didn’t get to be president due to, you know, the end of the world. I find it in-character, somehow. This isn’t the first time Dave extols Obama’s virtues, and after quite an extensive diatribe, he says maybe Obama reincarnated in Karkaroni. Thaaaat has to be the most Dave-y encouraging thing he could have ever thought. It’s for things like these that I like Dave, haha

Apparently only humans have tried to get to high offices, because no other species has even tried. They lack ambition, and given what I remember from Sburb, that’s believable. The only species that could come close to taking part in this are the trolls, and they’re not used to elections. No wonder humans have the high spots of politics.

DAVE: karkat dont stereotype

DAVE: remember the mayor

DAVE: remember how at one point a long time ago he raised an army and rebelled against an evil king

KARKAT: OH YEAH

KARKAT: SOMEHOW I ALWAYS FORGET HE DID THAT.

KARKAT: KIND OF MIND BOGGLING, REALLY.

KARKAT: HOLY SHIT, I MISS THE MAYOR.

DAVE: me too

Ah, yeah...I miss him too. I wonder what happened to him.

The government is in charge of troll reproduction through cloning, I suppose because the mother grub isn’t ready yet. In the meantime, the balance of power will get entrenched to the point where even when there’s a functional mother grub, humans will restrict troll population so they don’t take over the planet and make the horrors of Alternia happen. No lie, that’d be pretty bleak for humanity. Last time the horrors of Alternia were forced onto Earth everyone died. No troll right now would try, buuuut yeah, that’s not going to be forgotten...for a while.

Somehow, Dave’s arguments about how Jane has zero business acumen, is sinister, and trolls are getting the raw end of the deal are actually getting Karkaroni to pay attention, until he finally caves, simply because it’d make Dave happy. That’s sweet. But yeah, this is...not what I expected what would happen in the epilogue. Well then!

DAVE: aw yeah

DAVE: you wont regret it this is gonna be dope

DAVE: i think we have a great shot too

DAVE: with my political savvy and economic genius and outrageous flair for subversive anti establishment messaging and propaganda, and your big loud fucking mouth...

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK

DAVE: um i guess also your charisma and likability and shit

KARKAT: YEAH.

KARKAT: YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT...

KARKAT: I’M PRETTY SURE I CAN FAKE THOSE THINGS WELL ENOUGH.

DAVE: oh also

DAVE: your weirdly sincere humility

KARKAT: I PREFER THE TERM “SELF LOATHING” ACTUALLY.

DAVE: ok lets try to avoid that phrase on the campaign trail too

KARKAT: THIS ALREADY SOUNDS LIKE A PAIN IN THE ASS.

I’m not a political strategist, but if Karkaroni is going to run on a platform about how Jane sucks and there’s inequality towards the trolls, I’m not entirely certain it’s good there’s a shadowy human pulling the strings in the campaign. Kind of seems like bad optics to me. Then again, can’t say I know where this is going so let’s just wait and see.

Yup, Dave definitely will be the brains behind this presidency. They already agreed he’ll write what Karkaroni will say, even though he should improvise and speak from the heart, like he tends to do. Not a bad idea, it’s part of what makes him endearing.

DAVE: time to talk some strategy

DAVE: we need to rally as much high profile support to our cause as we can

DAVE: but there are some uh

DAVE: “lines of loyalty” to figure out

KARKAT: WHAT?

DAVE: i mean which of our friends are going to side with us and which ones will side with jane

It’s a safe bet to think the New Wonderteam will side with Jane and the Original Flavor Wonderteam with Dave and Karkaroni. Calliope likely will stick with Roxy, so she’d be on Jane’s side. All the living trolls would go with Karkaroni, so...overall? It seems to me the advantage is clear. Dave is slightly less optimistic than me, but he does think they can get many on their side.

...okay, what happened to Jade? What kind of twisted scenario involved her to the point where neither Dave nor Karkaroni want to talk about her? I’m almost afraid of finding out.

So there are four kingdoms, if I understand this correctly: one for humans, one for trolls, one for...carapaces, I guess, and one for the consorts, which would be aaaaaall the silly reptiles and amphibians from Sburb.

Jake’s support will be pivotal, and since I’m already betting he’ll be on Jane’s side out of, you know, being friends with her for quite some time, it seems like she’ll have the edge there. Then again, it’s true Jake is fairly timid, so there’s also a chance he’ll refuse to take a side. I’m starting to think any sane person would stay the heck away from any side in this mess, honestly. These two haven’t even announced Karkaroni as a candidate yet I already kind of dread what’s coming. I don’t know, it’s just this...constant atmosphere that something’s pretty wrong. I don’t really like it.

During all this, Dave receives a call from Dirk, so he calls back to ask what’s going on. This page ends with Dirk abut to insinuate he needs Dave to cut his head off again. I see these two’s weird pseudofamilial relationship is as messed up as ever. Charming.

So, back to the more Homestuck-y stuff. John zaps back to the story, apparently he agreed with Rose what needed to be done. First he makes sure Aranea won’t be up to shenanigans, taking off that ring of life from her finger. Good! Then he stashes Gamzee into the fridge again. Good! Everything’s fine over here. John zaps to the next plot point.

Ah, I have to read just two paragraphs to know what moment is this. The conversation below confirms my thoughts. Wait, I have to get the image for this moment:

There we go. Boy was it a pain to find it now that the long outline list is gone.

I think in Homestuck they had noticed John hanging out above them, and this time they see three of them, one of the Johns being an adult version. That’s going to be difficult to explain. Questions are asked, and evil Jade is zapped away to maybe get ready for the fight against Lord English, hopefully she won’t still be evil when the time comes, even if she technically is against Lord English and wants him dead. John is here to talk with Dave, anyway. If I recall correctly, Dave was supposed to give the final blow with that sword with the Welsh name, so my guess is that John is here for that. Get ready, Dave, you’re going to fulfill the fate you didn’t want in the first place! But at least I’m fairly certain John will be more successful at this than evil Jade was.

Turns out I’m not wrong about why John is here. In fact, the narration even says this:

Dave’s eyebrows descend beneath his sunglasses. You feel pretty bad because you’re about to completely circumvent the life-changing epiphany he’s just had that you know for a fact will make him a happier, chiller, and altogether more well-balanced human being.

Pretty unfortunate, really. It sucks to be Dave.

As I said before, Jade is zapped away to parts unknown, and Dave is informed of how everyone was spending their lives as normal adults with no big problems and a fairly peaceful life. Clearly John left the present before Dave and Karkaroni started their political war against Jane. Oh well. Off you go, Dave, get ready for a fight with Lord English. In the meantime, John will gather the rest of the team.

You know, I’m starting to realize I had a lot more to say about Dave and Karkaroni’s new political adventures than about the more familiar Homestuck-y messing around John is doing with the plot. I guess it’s because, as strange as the other plotline is, it just has...a lot other stuff to comment about that hasn’t been present in Homestuck before? Hm.

Yup, Dirk immediately asks for his decapitation as a solution for the tremendous defeat he has suffered at Jake’s hands, defeat that shouldn’t have happened because, as Dave states, Jake is pretty awful at everything. Either the show is rigged or Dirk must have quite a lot in mind for him to not even make an effort.

Yep, it’s rigged. I hope Jake knows. That guy never had a break during the game, hopefully he’ll get a break now. Speaking of Jake, he has to take the brunt of entertaining everyone while Dirk takes the call in the middle of the show. Whatever he has to talk about must be somewhat urgent, if he felt like calling Dave in the middle of it.

This narration sure is calling attention to Jake’s ass a lot, I lost count of how many paragraphs include something about it. Hussie, is there something you’d like to share with the class? Last time I checked the story he didn’t seem particularly interested in Jake’s ass, or in...Jake in general, really.

It seems what Dirk is doing here is intentionally making himself the villain of this show, but it’s not because he’s throwing Jake a bone or anything. No, it turns out there are more sinister goals here, or at least they’re sinister for Dave and Karkaroni’s newfound political ambitions.

DIRK: The point is, this is much less about me, and more about providing a foil for Jake’s heroism and charisma.

DIRK: It’s very important that his popularity continues to be cultivated, to maximize his political capital.

Sounds like they were planning Jane’s campaign for quite a while, if they went so far as to make Jake the hero of their show just for political capital. I bet that was the plan all along, right from the very first time this was broadcasted. How long ago was that, I wonder? But yeah, as Dave predicted, Dirk is fully on the Jane corner of this mess. He’s fully aware of Jane’s flaws and theoretical fascist/xenophobic tendencies, I presume, and he believes Jane’s the best for the current situation of the world. Whether he’s right or not...well...until proven otherwise I believe that too, yeah.

DIRK: We’ve all had our fun here, but it’s easy to overlook the fact that civilization on Earth C is hardly a sustainable proposition.

DIRK: Just beneath the surface, it’s quite a dangerous and unstable place.

Won’t lie, that never crossed my mind at all. From the way Act 7 ended, and how happy the ending was supposed to be, I simply thought things were going to be just peachy. I’m interested in knowing just how exactly it’s a quite a dangerous and unstable place. Care to explain, Dirk?

Guess not. I hope he explains how he knew what Dave and Karkaroni are planning, then. They took this decision like ten minutes ago.

DIRK: I think your heart is in the right place, but the dude is a complete amateur.

DIRK: He’ll get eaten alive. I also have a hard time imagining he even wants the job.

DIRK: Really, it’s an awful idea for him to even run. Think about how much it’s going to inflame the interspecies tensions on this planet. Is that what you want?

DIRK: I’m happy for both of you, really. It’s nice that you encourage and support each other in this way. But you’re sending him on a fool’s errand which can only end badly.

To be perfectly honest, other than the part about inflaming interspecies tensions on the planet, that was more or less what I thought. So far I agree. Even the part about inflaming interspecies tensions sounds plausible.

You know, it’s kind of fun both sides have a savvy Strider political operative. These two are more alike than Dave would like to admit, really.

The reason why Dirk is calling is because he wants to dissuade Karkaroni from running, even if he doesn’t say it. He admits Jake is not under Dirk’s beck and call, though. Does that really change anything? Dirk may not be on Jake’s good graces, but perhaps Jane is? Either way, this is a call to subtly dissuade and it’s not going to work because Karkat is stubborn as hell once he gets his head into something and he did. Tough luck.

The call is over, Dirk is back into the staged fray, so Jake thinks about Dirk’s capricious nature.

DIRK: Sorry for the momentary diversion, Jake. Now where were we?

JAKE: Momentary??? Gadzooks man you were on the phone for half a friggin hour!

JAKE: I know you like to get the crowd all hot and bothered but we are supposed to be professionals here!

...no wonder the crowd was starting to get so upset. Half an hour?! Just how slowly were the Striders talking?

Jake pulls out rhymes that honestly reminds me of Dave’s old rapping convos from like Act 1 or 2, peppered with old-timey sayings. It’s the kind of thing that makes me wonder how Jake is popular all over the planet. It’s said it’s out of pity, but goodness, that must be a metric ton of pity. The rap fight ends with Dirk sedating Jake to take another call. Geez, no wonder you’re not on his good graces anymore, Dirk.

Aaaanyway, back to John. He has gathered everyone back at his childhood home, ready to start the discussion on how to get rid of Lord English once and for all.

Jake is sort of ruining the mood anyway by bouncing away on your old Green Slime pogo. Doesn’t he realize how dangerous that thing is? Of course not. The fool.

To be frank that thing looked fun to me, even though I wouldn’t ride it without a helmet. John needs to appreciate more the painful playground elements in his life.

It’s nostalgic to read a convo with the kids. I hadn’t realized until now I missed Jade’s goofy mannerisms. Jade was always someone I was so fond of. Heck, all of the kids are people I’m fond of, although I’m less fond of Dirk and Jake than the rest. My opinion of Homestuck may not be as high as it once was, but the characters are something I still appreciate.

John answers a question: what happens to the people from the timelines they all left? Who knows. They may have stopped existing, which I’m sure is something they’d have liked to know before, but there’s nothing that can be done about that. Better start planning so they don’t die horribly and make nothing matter, alright.

The planning is mostly disorganized and structureless, although some common themes that often recur involve you and your original three friends leading the charge, since you are the oldest and wisest, and therefore the strongest, with the exception of Jade, whose gaudy array of powers make her the most formidable of the group, bar none. Aside from that, it appears the consensus is that the melee will likely devolve into an absolute free-for-all—at least going by the general patterns of incoherent banter, shit-talking, and points of pedantic tactical disagreement plaguing the jam session.

Sounds about right. I still think Jade would be very useful in the fight as long as she’s actually there and not...getting knocked out by mailwomen-turned-winged-dog. Maybe this time there’ll actually be something about the kids getting into a fight with Lord English. I’m not really going to hope for that too much, given how Hussie is not into catering to orderly narratives, but eh. No harm in dreaming.

The reunion ends when Jake eats dirt when he falls from the pogo, and in all this there wasn’t even a word about the plan. Not a good omen for the ‘show everyone fighting Lord English’ dream, really. The kids all talk together, some of them meeting each other for the first time, while John wistfully stares at Dad Egbert who is visible through the window.

The sun is hitting the glass in such a way that you can’t see his face.

Ah, yes, how could I forget the eternal sun that was in Dad’s vicinity all the time, that’s why his face always appeared mostly blank. That’s why the sun was right beside the Homestuck letter logo, it’s always there. Besides, if it’s a bad idea to go talk with Dad Hebert, may I ask why they’re all gathered in this yard, one week before the meteors strike? I know I’d be alarmed if I looked out of the window and saw seven hooligans and one adult hanging out in my yard.

There are other things to be wondering about, anyway, like the fact John may not be seeing these as real versions of his friends. Then again, in my opinion, he’s thinking a bit too hard about this. Of course he’d feel kind of detached, simply because of the age difference. That’s hard to overcome. Is it time to leave and go possibly die? Grab hands and hope it’ll go okay!

No, seriously, why am I taking like a page for John’s retconning and like three and half for Dave and Karkaroni’s Elect-a-Troll 20XX? Oh well. Dirk is still in the stadium, apparently their shows always ends in a riot, making me wonder how are they popular with people. Public disorder doesn’t really paint a good image of you. The caller is Rose, and she’s not feeling happy.

ROSE: The bottom line is this.

ROSE: I am ascending, and it is terrible.

Is Rose reaching Nirvana? How else am I supposed to interpret ‘ascending’? It’s not like she’s not a higher existence already, what with godhood and all.

What’s going on is that Rose is being plagued from visions and a higher awareness of her alternate selves’ lives and tribulations, giving her something close to omniscience when it’s about the universe, and Dirk is going through that too, which I suppose helps explain how he knew what Dave wanted to do. That’s what Dave will have to go against? Good luck to him.

I have to wonder if Dirk being such a stalwart Jane supporter is fueled by his recent omniscience. Maybe he knows something Dave and Karkaroni don’t, maybe the warning he gave them was something he foresaw. That aside, then he also must have known how useless it was to call Dave and that it wouldn’t make much of a difference. Having omniscience must seriously suck. At least Dirk has a way to work with his omniscience in a way that won’t wreck him apart, and I’m curious what it’s going to be. That said, though, a story about Dirk and Rose having foreseen a nasty future and working to stop it even at the cost of a few valuable friendships would be interesting. I’d read that.

Any conversation that will come from this will be at the studio later. I for one am looking forward to it, I admit. It’s an interesting topic, rich with possibilities and potential for development. It’s a shame these are epilogues, though. In the end, this will go nowhere, I imagine. Isn’t it a pity when you come across an idea or a plot that could span an entire story, but you know it’s not likely to come to fruition? Real shame, that.

I think I’ll stop for now. I have read only seven pages out of forty-three or so, but this should be enough for now. I can’t say I have been...enjoying this. I’m interested, but not really happy so far. Maybe it’s because a couple rather questionable things have come out of the blue and for the life of me I can’t make them fit with the characters or the story. Strange.

Also, something about the writing style is...off. It’s far more descriptive than Homestuck usually was. Most of the time it’s nice, other times I wonder if it was necessary. Still, I wonder where this will go, so at least the epilogues have that on its favor. Just for that, I think liveblogging it will be worth it.

Still, these epilogues are non-canon, aren’t they? If they’re canon can you please tell me that? Thanks, readers! So, for the time being, this update ends here.

Next update: next time

[mx-requests-forum]

[Fulfilled] Of Coffee and Copy Machines

Prompt: Changki + Changkyun as a new english teacher very strict and serious (maybe a bit scary too) and Kihyun, other teacher, wants to seduce him (M) bottom!kyun also

Fulfilled by Moderator M~

Words: 3071 (so far!)

Warnings: There is no smut/M rating yet! (There will be in the continuation to fulfill the last part of the request ^^)

AO3 Link

Rubbing his hands against his face in an effort to wake himself up, Kihyun walked drowsily into the teacher’s lounge, eyes directed resolutely at the coffee pot. His students knew him as the charming, put-together Mr. Yoo, but before he could be the endlessly cheerful man about Korean History at 8 AM, he needed his coffee at 7:25. Grateful that somebody else had already made a pot before him, Kihyun poured out a large serving into his travel mug, adding only a splash of cream and sugar before screwing the lid on. He brought the mug up to his mouth and took one gulp, quickly followed by another. Better.

“Did you hear about the new guy?” a familiar voice called from beside him, and Kihyun jolted a bit, his eyes flashing over to the man who had somehow teleported beside him. Leaning against the counter was Minhyuk, one of his teacher friends, his slightly tired eyes sparkling with interest.  Kihyun quirked a brow and shook his head. “Some of the D-wing teachers saw him getting a tour of the building, apparently he’s a foreigner and is scary as fuck,” Minhyuk informed Kihyun, whispering the last bit in case there were any students milling around outside the room.

“Hm,” Kihyun responded, taking another sip from his coffee and slowly waking up bit by bit. “Sounds interesting, I’ll be sure to welcome him to the school if I see him,” he said, faking enthusiasm mostly to annoy his friend. Minhyuk rolled his eyes, resting his designer shirt-wearing elbows against the not quite clean counter surface.

“He doesn’t sound like the type I would want to talk to personally, but you do you, sweetie,” Minhyuk said, smiling smugly down at Kihyun before grabbing a powdered donut and making his exit. Kihyun rolled his eyes, but wasn’t the least bit offended- he knew Minhyuk, and this kind of talk was child’s play at this point. Clearly the new guy was a bit intimidating, but Minhyuk wouldn’t have told him if he didn’t think the dude was at least a bit interesting. Kihyun sipped his coffee again, actually looking forward to meeting him.  

As if on cue, a strange man walks into the longue with slightly tentative steps, glancing around before fully walking in, as if he wasn’t totally confident he belonged in the room. This must be the new guy, and judging by his all-black, edgy ensemble and completely deadpan expression, Kihyun could see why people might be a bit intimidated. He was young, too, probably a few years younger than Kihyun, and incredibly fashionable. Intrigued, Kihyun approaches him, putting on his bright, teacher smile and walking up to the man.

“Hi there, I can see that you’re a new teacher here, so on behalf of my fellow educators: welcome to our school!” Kihyun politely greeted, sticking out his hand and looking the man perfectly in the eye. He stiffened under Kihyun’s gaze, but his eyes stared perfectly into Kihyun’s, something very poised and calculated about his posture.

“Hello,” the stranger greeted- in English. Kihyun wasn’t intimidated. “I’m Im Changkyun, I’m going to be teaching English I and II this year,” he greeted, finally grabbing Kihyun’s hand and shaking it, his stance and words so perfect and stiff that Kihyun could practically see the authoritarian way he ran his class. He was obviously the serious type, but what surprised Kihyun was how deathly sultry and seductive Changkyun’s voice was. He was practically drowning in the rich, sultry tones of his voice. It took him a few seconds to process that his sexy voice had said words in Korean, and he smiled as he quickly collected himself.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Im. I’m Yoo Kihyun. Is this your first year teaching?” Kihyun asked, laughing a bit in an attempt to lighten the mood and distract himself from how ridiculously attractive this man was up close. Changkyun was so young, and it wouldn’t have been a stretch to assume he was this professional and stiff to cover up his nerves. But, being so close… he couldn’t tell from far away, but damn, this man was wasted as a teacher- he could easily model for any brand on the market. His body was slim and shapely, but it went beyond that. His face was stunningly handsome, his eyes sharp and intelligent whenever their gazes would meet. His features were unique and a treat to look at, and nothing about him was standard in the slightest. Kihyun licked his lips slowly, his mind getting slightly distracted as he realized that he hadn’t been on a date in months…

“It’s actually my fifth year teaching, but it is my first one here, that part you’re right about,” Changkyun replied, his tone flat and serious. “I’m very proud of my accomplishments as a teacher, and my dedication to my profession is what led me to getting hired at this school,” he added, and Kihyun flustered slightly, straightening and re-straightening his posture as he attempted to formulate a reply. He was a lot more professional and intense than Kihyun had anticipated.

“Ah, I see, sorry for assuming,” Kihyun said, smiling warmly before stepping away from the man, trying to shrug off what could only be a miscommunication. “Let me know if you ever need anything, I’d be more than happy to help,” he said, nodding once before walking out of the lounge. Changkyun nodded as well, giving Kihyun a thoughtful look as he exited the room.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he mysteriously replied, and that was the end of their first interaction. The rest of Kihyun’s day went by far quicker than he anticipated, but despite its speed, he was still exhausted by the time 3:00 rolled around- having to make the same introductory speech six times to 140 strangers tended to do that to a person. Rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, Kihyun walked down the hallway, his posh shoes clicking on the cheap tile. He had to make some copies of a hand-out he had prepared for class the next day, and was headed to the copy room before he went home.

“Ah, Mr. Yoo. Could I ask for your assistance with the copy machine?” a deep, rumbling voice called as he entered the printer-filled room. Kihyun’s eyes flickered to the only other current occupant, and he nodded slowly as he recognized the voice’s owner- the frighteningly handsome new teacher.

“Of course! It’s really easy, here,” Kihyun began, walking up behind Changkyun and tapping some controls on the machine. He stood rather close behind him, realizing distractedly that they were the exact same height. “Just set the document text-down onto the scanner- yep, like that, and then scroll to these settings. Now type in how many copies you want to make and there you have it!” Throughout his demonstration, Kihyun’s arm had been touching Changkyun’s, and he distractedly noticed just how nice it felt to touch another person. God damn, he was touch starved.

“T-thank you,” Changkyun replied, his voice soft and clearly trembling. Kihyun looked down at him, seeing the flush to his cheeks and how pretty his eyelashes looked as he stared down at the copy machine. It was a vast change from how he’d seen him earlier, so composed and strict. In that moment, Kihyun felt his heart surge with a shocking fluttering of attraction, his chest tightening and eyes sparkling with a strange sense of hopefulness. Maybe Changkyun was feeling similar attraction, and Kihyun leaned a little bit closer, resisting the urge to brush his hand against Changkyun’s arm.

“It’s no problem, seriously, I don’t mind helping a fellow teacher out,” Kihyun replied, smiling a bit. God, and his mannerisms were so cute, too. He was easy to read like this, cutely looking down at the copy machine and politely saying his thanks.

“Well, that’s all I needed,” Changkyun suddenly concluded, his voice stern and resolute, and Kihyun blinked several times, frowning a bit in confusion. He was acting just like he had this morning, all stiff words and leaving no room for argument. Kihyun clenched his jaw tightly, his expression turning from adoring to put off in record time. Obviously, he had come here for a purpose besides helping Changkyun, not that the boy saw that.

“Uh… okay,” Kihyun replied, nodding his head and walking away from him with unhurried steps. He passive-agressively decided to hover just a few feet away, and watched as Changkyun did his copying, his eyes unconsciously drifting down his body and noticing with slightly guilty eyes that the man’s ass was absurdly large in proportion to his legs. He was slender in general, but his ass was… well, it was plump and luxuriously plush-looking, like his hand would disappear if he were to press his palm against it—Okay. Time to stop thinking like that.

Kihyun rapidly prostrated his back, his cheeks dusting pink as he realized that he’d actually been fantasizing about touching his coworker’s ass. Not only that, but he actually found him cute earlier, and… yep, he still found him pretty damn attractive now. Even after his admittedly cold behavior. Not quite knowing what to do with this information, Kihyun consciously makes the effort to think about something else- that kid in the back of his classroom during fourth period, with the weird bandages all over his legs. He clearly wasn’t a sports player, so why was he so banged up?

Content to think about that instead, Kihyun almost doesn’t notice when Changkyun starts collecting his copies and making his way out of the room. Kihyun watches him as he leaves, shocked when the man actually bows his head at him and gives him a look of gratitude before exiting the room. Huh… and Kihyun pegged him as the egotistical type. Maybe he was a bit more complying than he initially came off.

Truly intrigued, Kihyun makes his way over to the copy machine and does what he came here to do, his mind filled with thoughts of this new teacher and all of his mysteriousness. Maybe he was the answer to Kihyun’s recent loneliness, or maybe he was just an interesting new friend, but either way- Kihyun was dying to get to know him better.

They’d met a few times over the following week, greeting each other in the hall and teacher’s lounge. Changkyun had even summoned him from his room during their shared free period, and Kihyun had helped him figure out the school’s grading software. Kihyun never outright flirted with him, but they shared looks and dialogue that bordered on it often. The more Kihyun saw Changkyun, the more he wanted to break every code of conduct that prohibited him from outright seducing him like he so desired.

Throughout the week, besides appreciating Changkyun’s sensuality, Kihyun also learned bits and pieces of Changkyun’s life, finding out that while he was a strict teacher, he was a caring son to his parents. He was funny sometimes, too. Cracking jokes in English that probably would’ve went over the other teachers’ heads, but Kihyun was pretty confident in his grasp on the language and caught the sexual innuendo, much to Changkyun’s pleasant surprise. It was a new thing to look forward to, a daily treat that made Kihyun excited to go to work every day. Now it wasn’t just the thrill of expanding the knowledge and perceptions of his students, but the thrill of expanding his own knowledge and perception of Changkyun.

The following Monday, after a rather sad weekend of working on lessons for class and overall being alone in his house, Kihyun was excited to get back to work for a number of reasons. He showed up a bit earlier than usual, making a fresh pot of coffee with an energy he hadn’t felt this early in the day in a decade. As the coffee was brewing, Kihyun turned to face the door, half-expecting to see Changkyun pop in any minute. He normally wasn’t here this early, but Kihyun couldn’t help himself. Changkyun was new, interesting… incredibly attractive. He wanted to talk to him again, and it’s not like they’d exchanged phone numbers or anything.

Suddenly, the door opened, and a man walked through wearing dark purple and black, his dark hair falling into his eyes in a way that shouldn’t have been so ridiculously alluring to Kihyun in that moment, but it was. He smiled a bit when he saw Kihyun, and Kihyun’s heart pounded in his ears. He felt like one of his high-schoolers, head over heels for a person they’d just met, and he couldn’t even hate himself for it, not when Changkyun gave that crooked, cute little smirk-smile to him at 7:15 AM on Monday.

“Good morning, Mr. Im,” Kihyun greeted, watching as the man walked beside him, grabbing a powdered donut and napkin from the tray beside him. He took a few bites of the sugary treat, and Kihyun diverted his gaze back to the coffee pot, watching the dark liquid drip into the pot.

“Morning,” Changkyun replied after a few bites, and Kihyun looked up at just the right moment to watch him dip his fingers into his mouth, sucking the sugary powder from his fingertips in a way that was definitely too erotic for school. Inhaling sharply, Kihyun diverted his gaze, his cock actually twitching in his pants. Fuck, right now? Really dick?

“Are you attracted to me?” Changkyun whispered lowly, his voice completely devoid of emotion and making Kihyun damn near choke on his next breath of air after just a few simple words. Kihyun glanced around the room, seeing that nobody was within ear shot. He looked back over to Changkyun, trying to get anything out of his expression but he couldn’t. Changkyun was looking at him almost passively, as if the answer to his question really didn’t matter. The slight tinge of pink on his cheeks betrayed his otherwise calm façade, and Kihyun risked a noncommittal reply.

“What led you to that conclusion?” Kihyun asked, realizing belatedly that he’d put on his teacher voice and was talking just as Changkyun had spoken to him. Changkyun hummed, but he didn’t answer right away, instead choosing to lick his fingers again, the gesture completely lewd and now obviously intentional.

“You watch my mouth,” Changkyun began, and it sent a chill down Kihyun’s spine. “My lips, usually. But sometimes my tongue,” he continued, and his voice was low and sultry, as if he were admitting to a great secret. “Those are usually mannerisms associated with attraction,” he concluded, and flashed Kihyun a cheeky look, his dark eyes sparkling in the crappy lighting of the lounge. Kihyun frowned a bit, honestly having not noticed that he did that. He admired many parts of Changkyun, it was hard to notice a particular fixation, but now that he’d mentioned it… yes, Changkyun had nice lips. They weren’t plump or round, but very pretty and almost feminine. Kihyun rather liked them.

“Hm, maybe I do. I didn’t notice,” Kihyun replied, shrugging a bit. He couldn’t tell if Changkyun wanted him to be attracted to him or not, so he didn’t risk anything just yet. Changkyun’s façade broke a bit, and he scrunched his eyebrows together, his cheeks reddening just slightly. Clearly Kihyun’s reply had frustrated him.

“No… you most definitely do. Quite often. It’s quite unprofessional, really,” Changkyun replied, and his gaze dropped to the floor in a way Kihyun couldn’t tell was discomfort or attraction. Kihyun opted for taking a safer route, not wanting to make a coworker feel uncomfortable at work.

“I can stop doing that, then, if that’s what you want,” Kihyun replied, even though he wasn’t totally sure he could. Changkyun flustered a bit, a sudden panic filling his eyes that made Kihyun’s chest throb.

“N-No, wait,” he suddenly said, eyes darting around the room. “I just meant that it’s not professional for school,” he elaborated, but he said nothing else, leaving Kihyun to come to the proper conclusion on his own.

“Would you like my number then?” Kihyun ventured, quirking a brow and smiling flirtatiously at the other man. Changkyun brought a hand to his face, eyes flashing down to the counter as he thought about the question.

“This is very unbecoming between teachers,” Changkyun replied, but he pulled something out of his pocket, handing a strip of paper to Kihyun and immediately walking out of the room, leaving one last sentence to grace Kihyun’s ear. “And this never happened,” he added, as if concerned that they’d somehow get fired for exchanging phone numbers. Kihyun chuckled a bit, looking at the piece of paper thoughtfully. It was wrinkled, and clearly had been folded multiple times, as if Changkyun had been thinking about doing this for a while but had been going back and forth on his decision to actually do it. How cute.

Pulling out his phone, Kihyun clicked the ‘Add New Contact’ button and put Changkyun’s number into his phone. He wasn’t the type for prolonging things like this, and quickly sent Changkyun a text.

>Yoo Kihyun Hello Mr. Im! This is Yoo Kihyun. Thank you for giving me your number, I’m looking forward to getting to know you better.

He debated adding an emoji to the end but decided to just keep it professional for now. Changkyun seemed more comfortable that way, anyway. Less than a minute passed before Kihyun got a reply, and he bit his lip on a smile as he took a sip of his coffee.

>Im Changkyun Hello. I wasn’t expecting you to send a text so quickly.

>Im Changkyun I’m flattered.

Kihyun’s smile widened and he quickly typed out a reply.

>Yoo Kihyun I couldn’t help myself~

Quickly putting his phone away, Kihyun grabbed his coffee and made his way to his room. He was already starting to feel hot, and an overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment filled him as he started laying out his materials for class that day. Now that they could communicate privately, he could actually flirt and seduce Changkyun exactly as he wanted. He hadn’t been this excited to have a man’s number in ages, and it was fascinating that he was feeling this way for the cold, serious, and professional Im Changkyun. Maybe he was a bit crazy, but he couldn’t wait to see where this was going~

[imaginefe]

Hello there! I got my tonsils out today and am out for the next two weeks! I didn’t expect it to hurt this much though :c To be honest, I always check your blog when ever I’m not feeling well, be it physically or mentally; it cheers me up a lot!! So, I was wondering what some of the villains, like M!Grima, would do if their summoners had a tonsillectomy??? Thank you in advance!! Have a great day and keep up the amazing work!!

ah!! im glad my blog can bring u happiness!! i wish you a smooth recovery!!

hm i think all of the villains would find the idea of removing something from your throat appalling… they’d be like? “they took… that out of you??? why” most of them wouldn’t have even known tonsils were a thing until you told them about your surgery?

Grima would be more… agreeable to physical affection during your recovery time. He’s actually worried for you since you mentioned you were feeling pain from your surgery. He can’t resolve your pain himself so he settles for sticking to your side more often to make sure you don’t die or something. He… doesn’t know how this works… In his mind, anything could happen….

Michalis would immediately ask about the doctor’s orders for your recovery. Although he can’t fathom how a surgery like the one you went through would work, he would want to help you get better. By overseeing your every action… He’s going to be a bit of a control freak, calling you out for every time you even come close to disobeying the doctor’s orders. But he means well!

The first thing Valter asks you is to open wide so that he can see what was removed from you. After an unnecessarily lengthy examination of your mouth, Valter announces that he plans to take care of you. But really what he means is he wants to feed you? He’ll trail behind you if you go anywhere but won’t actively help you with work unless you ask him to. The enthusiasm he showed only shines through during meal times. Even though you’re perfectly capable of feeding yourself, he treats your tonsillectomy like you being bedridden. He’ll spoon feed you, taking full pleasure in blowing on hot foods to cool them before bringing them to your mouth. Probably will ask if he can continue feeding you after you’ve recovered…