#im not starting another war tho

[burninlovebutler]

love ya Melon!

ASH HOW COULD U

THAT TOP GIF WAS THE ONE THAT STARTED THE WAR

GAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CANT DO THIS

LOVE YA TOO ASH EVEN THO U TORTURE ME

[solomiracle]

i think it'd be interesting if the brothers' comments on solomon acting more like a demon than human actually went somewhere. it's really only used for comedy, but even then, it kinda falls flat since it seems to only stem from him being immortal and shady or whatever. if they focused on it and made it have some weight, i think it could be a really good source of angst and character development for solomon.

solomon prides himself on being humanity's protector, the one who will keep his fellow humans safe from unnecessary otherworldly interference. but if demons started comparing him to themselves, denying him his humanity, his entire motivation for doing what he does, how would that make him feel?

[engagemythrusters]

Given that there are only two possibilities of real hair being shown in Queen Amidala's outfit ensembles (both by Sabe and Padme), I do wholly believe that it is a rule (written or unwritten) that queens of Naboo must cover their hair. I WILL go into depth if asked.

[aurentaie]

current verses on my carrd: hotd, modern urban fantasy verse, modern crime verse (vague idea of one anyway, but i think writing in it might make it easier to figure out the parts im fuzzy on) verses to add: tolkien/lotr, bg3/d&d, ... idk what other fandoms are popular these days on this website?

[llycaons]

xl went through so much insane suffering, things like being stabbed until he barely resembles a human form and being locked in a coffin for literally a hundred years, but I think making him immortal and ever-healing and showing how much he learned from his experiences AND ending his story with so much closure and close relationships makes his tragedies a lot easier to bear than wwx's. like, emotionally

[eternally-tired-cryptid]

on one hand I wanna write my fic ideas wherein my marvel oc gets sent to the alternate universe of Gotham and hijinks ensue whilst she tries to survive and get back and the batfam and such slowly learn more info abt her world and how it's being threatened atm and she needs to go back and help and whatnot.

But on the other hand, the readers wouldn't know the marvel related backstory of this OC and would have. No context for her going in

But ALSO then the readers would know abt as much abt this mysterious figure as the batcrew do, and get to learn via flash backs and her slowly revealing info to them as safety allows

Then there's also just a general. Idk if there's any sort of oc etiquette when it comes to writing oc centered fics? My brain goes so hogwild when I read anything that I usually avoid oc fics other people write just bc I usually read and enjoy fics at face value but I also go "now what would happen if this OC was here?" And that gets real complicated when other people's ocs are involved

[hostluvr]

I JUSTNOW SAW YOUR BANNER WHATTHE MAGOS

its the truest thing anyone let alone a flower has said to me don’t even get me started chat thr hosts makes me feel like a caged beast and someone is just DANGLING a PERFECTLY done steak JUST beyond my grasp

[silhouettecrow]

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 320

Adjective: Cunning

Noun: Whiskey

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Cunning: having or showing skill in achieving one's ends by deceit or evasion; ingenious; (North American) attractive or quaint

Whiskey: a spirit distilled from malted grain, especially barley or rye; a code word representing the letter W, used in radio communication

[homostacis]

gonna have to wait two weeks to play ragnarok

[heedmywarnings]

One last time

(Full Chapter)

In which you insult them one last time. (Aka me insulting pixels even tho I'm on Hiatus)

(Written when I was on Hiatus lmfao)

Warning: Cursing, lots of them.

》 - Chapter 2

Masterlist

♤~-~♤

You were finally captured. It took three months to get where you are, standing before you are the Archons who participated in the hunt, and now they will execute you.

"Before you here, is the Impostor that stole our beloved deity's face" Barbatos started, looking down upon the people, "As if you didn't" you said, barely a whisper "Would you like to repeat that, thief?" The Goddess of Justice whispered on your ear as she pulled your hair, "I SAID, AS IF YOU DIDN'T" you repeated, the crowd gasps because they are very very shocked because they gasped.

Also this moon cake im eating doenst taste good.

"What?"

"You were born from the desires of people, meaning if Decarabian wasn't a tyrant then you wouldn't even be born!" The crowd screams defending the Wind God, "Oh come on! He stole the face of his DEAD friend!" You yelled, "Don't get me started with how he abandoned his nation for the tyrants to just invade Mond. Lady Venessa freed Mondstadt from the Lawrence clan!" Technically, Venti did help but you need to get the crowd on your side.

"That's enough," Ei said approaching you as she unsheath her sword, "You also abandoned your nation! What? because your sister, THE TRUE RULER of Inazuma died?" At this point everyone is appalled.

"T-"

"Don't even get me started with you, you rat tailed motherfucker. You literally made a deal with the fatui, you knew Childe was gonna summon Osial and you let it happen. More so, you faked your own death because you didn't feel like ruling over Liyue? Or was it because you finally understood that you're just incapable of being an Archon? The only reason you survived the Archon War was the adepti and yaksha that you expended!"

"..."

"And who's to say you didn't commit any crime?" Ei said after the shock had dissipated, "What crime!? How do you think a mere mortal were to steal a God's face!?" You screamed through a horse voice, now you've got everyone talking, (like the jury in the Ace Attorney.)

"Is your god suffering from sever little-bitchitis to the point you'd hunt anybody who look REMOTELY similar to them?"

The Archons were stunned, it seemed like you made everyone hold their breathe. "Such blasphemy won't go unforgi-" "I don't need your forgiveness, you cockroach arthritis-suffering bitch," you cut Zhongli off.

"Hey now...let's not say something will regret, huh?" Nahida said, through the familiar gentle voice, "I won't regret anything that comes out of my mouth." You replied, not finding any reasons why Nahida should be insulted.

"By far, the only Archon that ever helped the Traveller was the Dendro Archon! And she was even locked up!" You said, "You, Barbatos, you just avoided any talk about traveller's twin. Morax, why did you sign a contract that silences you about their twin? Do they scare you that much? Are you really that weak and pathetic?" You said apathetically and sarcastically.

"I am under a contract, and I must abide by that contract," Zhongli replied with a more... confident form, you can't wait to crush it, "Didn't you also sign a contract with the mortals of Teyvat that you'd never hurt them? WELL WHAT ABOUT ME? WHY AM I AM EXCEPTION?" Technically, he didn't, but if they were gonna use lies and deception to win this argument, you might as well do the same.

"Because you're nothing but an Impostor, not even worthy to be called human" Ei said, striking her blade on your thigh, you gasped in pain. "Hah! And what are you? You were an Impostor that created another Impostor because you can't handle the guilt of being one!" At this point it was useless to argue, they were pissed off but the people? They don't believe you, but they've also lost faith to their Gods.

And so, what did you achieve? Death and your name on the history textbooks saying that you were the reason that Teyvat rebelled against their Gods...

So, are you ready to resurrect later in life to attack the Archons (verbally) once more?

Next chapter coming out idk when

[1427]

When the Levee Breaks (pt. 5)

Daryl Dixon x OFC

Story Summary: The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her, right?

Chapt Setting: The Farm/Woods

Chapt Warnings: pretty explicit drug use (meth), season 2 Daryl, degrading/sexist language (he’s starting to get better lol), SOPHIA CHAPTER (I think that deserves a warning)

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Daryl’s POV story. Daryl’s starting to be less of a dick, trying really hard to make it feel organic/make it make sense in the story. Idk. This chapter was really rough to write because… it made me sad. Also have no idea if it even makes sense (the hallucination bit, really hope it does) lol ALSO; I looked up some timeline stuff and i just?? Really thought Daryl was out there for days on his own? But apparently he wasn’t? We’re just gonna say that he is in this story. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can only do so much when the timeline of TWD is fucking stupid sometimes. (I mean it. Come for me. Idc. Rick was in a coma for 59 days without food or water???!?!!!? Bye)

masterlist

17+ mdni (no smut in this one tho sorry)

Like fiberglass in my veins, it tears through me. Mellow, at first, almost think I should rail more before I can feel myself sweatin’. Different kinda sweat, comin’ from my fuckin’ soul. 

Haven’t felt like I was doin’ something ‘wrong’ since I was little. That feeling that ch’ya get when you’re doin’ somethin’ ya know you’re not s’possed to. This ain’t the first time I done spazz, but maybe it’ll be the last. The anxiety about doin’ it goes away the second I feel the devil kick me through my nose to the back of my brain. Even though I know it’s comin’, it always feels like gettin’ skullfucked by satan. 

Been out here for a day. I brought Merle’s shit with me because I decided to finally get rid of it somewhere. But I got somethin’ that needs doin’. And anyway, I got years of experience with ice. Not doin’ it. Sometimes doin’ it. Never let Merle know, he’d’ve made some big whoop ‘bout it. And everytime he’d gone and done more than he remembered, he woulda blamed me. Shit though, sometimes it was. 

M’not like Merle and Beatle. Ain’t an addict. Can do shit and put it down. Always been able to put it down. Figured other people could too, that they just didn’t wanna. ‘m not sure, but still kinda think that. 

Never felt fuckin’ guilty about it before, though. Fuckin’ Beatle. I’unno if it’s cuz I’d be done with her if she did the same shit, or if it’s cuz I know if she knew that I was - she’d be mad at me. Mad I didn’t invite ‘er. 

But this shit ain’t for fuckin’ playtime. Only reason ‘m even doin’ it i’so I can find Sophia. So I can stay awake, focus, and get ‘er back. They use ta use this shit in war. War’s the reason methamphetamines even exist. Nazi’s? Hell, every single one of ‘em in WWII. Kamikazi’s loaded up, totally fuckin’ wasted outta their minds on crystal while they bolted ‘em in. Kept ‘em awake, kept ‘em happy, kept ‘em focused on the mission. Tha’s what I gotta do. 

I can’t stop lookin’ til I find ‘er. Sophia. ‘m the only one that can, only one that knows how. And anymore, ‘m the only one that seems to give a shit. ‘Sides Carol. And Beatle. She wanted ta come. Told her she’d only slow me down. Distract me. Drawn more geeks. She woulda. Told her I didn’t need food either but she packed me some anyway. Knew I wasn’t gonna be hungry. Knew I was gonna use this dumb shit to help. But whatever. 

Doesn’t matter what happens to me, right? My life’s not worth nothin’, not compared to that little girl. Now that her old man’s outta the picture she actually got a chance. Maybe not mucha one, not the way shit is these days. But she got ‘er mom. And ‘er mom can actually be ‘er mom now. Not scared of some piece’a shit prick that finally got what was comin’ to ‘im. 

Man fuck that guy.

The trail I’m followin’ disappears so I backtrack to the mangroves where I found her doll and try to find another one. 

I start to wonder what kinda old man Beatle had. What kinda mom? Startin’ ta realize I don’t know a damn thing about Beatle. I know she likes drinkin’, she likes laughin’, she likes fuckin’ with me. But… 

Beatle keeps surprisin’ me. Not just because she let me hump her face a few days ago, the fact that she liked it, shit I haven’t even had a second to process that. Nah, more cuz she hasn’t brought it up. Hasn’t tried to hold my hand again. Hasn’t been annoyin’ me nearly as much. Not even at all, if ‘m honest. 

My brain’s goin’ a million miles a fuckin’ second over Beatle and what happened between us. Not just the other night, but back then. Got questions that need answerin’ but she ain’t here. Try to keep myself occupied with trackin’ but it ain’t like trackin’ takes much thinkin’. Follow every trail I pick up, but none of ‘em lead me to Sophia. 

I’d prob’ly start gettin’ really frustrated about this, but that’s what crystals good for. All the dopamine I need, and nothin’s annoyin’. Focus.

✨🏹 

Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, walker guts. Trees and rocks and blood and mud and dirt and greens and browns and reds and blacks. And it’s dark and it’s light and it’s dark. And it smells fuckin’ rotten. Bent branches, wilted leaves, another trail, another dead end, another undead shithead. Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, Beatle. 

How many times did I go into Merle’s bag and take the devils dick up my nose? Cuz Beatle’s standin’ here right in front of me. ‘Cept she’s all done up in makeup and glitter and her pupils are the size of dimes. Little pink crop top, tiniest pair’a daisy dukes I ever seen. ‘n she’s in my face sayin’ the shit I been thinkin’ about her sayin’ since that day she said it. 

“I like you, Dar.” 

“You like bein’ fucked up more.” I say it like I said it the last time. 

“That’s not true! I mean - I like you, Daryl.” She steps closer, tries to put her hand on my cheek before I brush her off. She slumps back a little, turning away. “You like me, too. You said it.” 

My hearts in my fuckin’ throat and I’m standin’ there, this can’t be fuckin’ happening. I know is’not but doesn’t make it feel any less real. “Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle.” 

Hate that I said that to ‘er. Did I really say that? Cuz maybe that’s how I felt. Hell, maybe that’s how I felt last week. But it ain’t fair. I don’t know her. Still. Now. Don’t know ‘er at all. Thought I did. Thought I understood what kinda girl did those kindsa things. Is that really what I said? Fuck.

She’s still turned away from me, but I walk the half circle around to look at her face. And she’s sobbing. Silently, trying to stay as still as possible. I… I don’t remember this part. Maybe I didn’t see it? Nah, I saw it. Just didn’t care. Didn’t wanna look at ‘er. Didn’t want to hear her lame ass confession. Especially after she’d brought up that I told ‘er I liked ‘er. She sniffles and wipes her face before she pulls a bubble pipe out of the waistband of her shorts and lights the bottom, starts smokin’ it. She asks if I want a hit, like last time. 

I go to say no, but the words don’t come out. Instead my hand reaches for it. I look back up and Beatle’s dressed all different. Baggy jeans and a bikini top. That night. Fuck. Shit. I don’t want to relive that night. 

“I promise, I won’t tell Merle.” She says, handing me her lighter. And I smoke it. Inhaling the vapor slowly like she had. “You gotta sip at it, like it’s a coffee and you’re drinking the air to see if it’s still too hot. Roll the bowl or it will burn.” I do it the way she says. She’s like ten years younger than me, but she looks at me - talks to me like it don’t matter. Like she don’t see it that way. Guess I don’t either, never really did. 

I’d never wanted to smoke it before. But that night I wanted to. With her. Woulda done anything she’d asked that night ‘fore she ruined it. I ruined it. Til it got all fucked up an’ it was never the same again. Not the way I saw her, not the way she looked at me. 

I’m goin’ through memories like they’re happening all over again. Feelin’ fuckin’ sick. I don’t wanna remember this. 

I hand the pipe back to her and she asks, “How do you feel?” 

“Fine.” 

“Just fine?” She smiles. 

“Good.” I clarify. 

“Good.” 

Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “I think I like you, Beatle.” 

She laughs too hard, “you think?” I feel myself getting sicker and angry again all at once. 

I split in half. One half feelin’ those same feelings I felt. That this conceited fuckin’ bitch really acts like everyone likes her. I hear her words and it sounds like she’s sayin’ ‘well obviously’ - but the other halfa me hears it like a real question. Like she wanted ta know what I meant. I don’t remember how I responded then, but I can hear myself say it, “Self-obsessed cunt.” 

Beatle laughs, “Is that what you like about me?” 

My misunderstanding continues; Thought she was pickin’ on me. Makin’ funna me. All these years. All this time. Thought she was fuckin’ laughin’ at me. Never told a girl I liked her. Not that I never did like one, just never told ‘em. Not like some teenage fuckin’ confessional. And I do and what?  she just laughs.  

Shit. 

Cuz inside ‘m screaming. Screamin’ at myself ta say somethin’ different. To jus’ tell her. She’s special, she’s exciting, and when she smiles at the shit I say it makes me feel like I’m the only one in the fuckin’ world to her. Tha’s what she wants ta here. Tha’s why she’s askin’. 

“Nah. Forget it.” She nods, and I thought she did forget it.  She forgot until she brings it up again in the memory I already re-lived. 

Tha’s how I was so damn sure she didn’t give a single shit about if I liked her or not. Didn’t bring it up again for months. Didn’t give a single shit about me at all. Felt stupid for ever thinkin’ she might. Just a dumb crush on a dumb girl, and I forgot everything about it. An’ every little thing she did that made me like ‘er ended up as somethin’ else I hated.  And every time I saw her after that she was fucked up on somethin’. Meth or booze or weed. Usually all three. 

It comes at me like a fuckin’ freight train, her lips crashing into mine, but this time I want it. Don’t wanna stop kissin’ ‘er. Instead my arms move and I push her down to the ground. She’s wearing the crop top again, can tell she’d been cryin’. She’s layin’ there in the rocks lookin’ up at me and I flash back to the living room where this happened, where she’d told me she liked me back. I wanna beat the shit outta myself for makin’ her look like that. 

How didn’t I see it? 

I did see it. I just didn’t care. Thought I knew what kinda girl did those kinds’a things. 

Wonderin’ what kind of old man she had. What kinda boyfriends before she met me. How maybe she’s just as fuckin’ scared’a feelin’ stuff as I am. How maybe it took her months to even get up the courage to tell me after I’d told ‘er never mind and slowly started to hate her. How many’a those drinks were for courage? How many’a those hits were cuz she was nervous?

Shit. 

And she’s runnin’ away like she did then. Away from me an’ outta my life until a few weeks ago. I know it ain’t real but I run after her anyway. Screamin’ her name into the open air like maybe somehow I can change it if I can get her to come back. But she’s gone and ‘m still running tryin’ to find her. Screaming for her ‘til my throats hoarse. 

‘Til the walkers hear me. 

✨🏹

Andrea fuckin’ shot me. What is wrong with this fuckin’ group?

✨🏹

Beatle’s in the bedroom with me but I can’t look at ‘er. Don’t wanna. Feels like she knows what I was doin’ out in them woods without ‘er. Like she can see the dirty shit in my soul and for some reason it makes me ill. Can’t look at ‘er. Knowin’ I hurt ‘er like that all that time ago. Knowin’ it now like I ain’t ever known anything else. 

It’s just me ‘n her and she doesn’t try to talk to me. Just lets me lay there hatin’ myself for all of it. Didn’t even find Sophia. 

Spent a lot of my days in my life hatin’ myself. Thinkin’ I was good for nothin’. Now ‘m sure of it. 

I feel the bed move under the weight of her. She hugs herself around me, and like some pathetic kid I fuckin’ cry. Don’t know if she can tell or not but she tries comforting me anyway. “It’s okay, Dar. You did your best.” Her voice… how could I have ever thought it was annoying? Her bein’ so nice just makes me hate myself more. 

“Lea‘me alone, Beatle.” Shakin’ her arm out from around me. She gets off the bed and sits back in the chair she’d been in. God, I fuckin’ hate myself. Wanna scream No, come back. I didn’t mean it. 

Still got question’s that need answerin’. This time Beatles right here, and I ain’t got nothin’ to lose. “Why were you naked in Merle’s room?” Grateful that she’s sittin’ behind me. Don’t think I could talk to ‘er ‘bout this stuff if she was lookin’ at me. Right now? If I saw her face? Don’t think I could talk at all. 

She laughs. Fuck her stupid fuckin’ laugh. “I still can’t believe you think I fucked around with Merle.” 

“Why not? Y’all hung out every other day.” My voice is sharp, feels like she’s laughin’ at me again. Always feels like everyone’s laughin’ at me. 

“We all hung out every other day, Dar.” 

“Stop callin’ me tha’.” 

“I was carpet surfing. Your dumbass brother spilled all the schkag all over the damn place.” 

Oh…. But, “Ya didn’t have any clothes on.” 

“I never had any clothes on, Daryl. You sure I wasn’t just wearing something ‘slutty’? You know, like you always said I was? Cuz I don’t remember, but I’ve never been naked with Merle. Ever. Sounds fuckin’ gross.”

Oh. 

It made sense. Makes so much sense, ‘specially now. She keeps talkin’ an’ ‘m grateful cuz if I tried to say anything else I’d start fuckin’ cryin’ again. “I liked you, man. I…” she stops herself. Wanna beg her to keep goin’ but I can’t. 

Instead I ask ‘er the only question I got left, “Why’d ya leave, then? Ya left ‘n ya never came back.” 

She’s silent for a long time. “When you and Merle moved, where’d you go?” 

She did come back. 

“Why’d ya leave, Beatle?” Doesn’t matter where Merle and I went. She’s avoidin’ the question. 

“Got sober. After that night… with you. Wanted to get sober. Wanted to…” she don’t say the rest but she don’t need to. I got it. Fuck, my heart can’t take it. 

“Cuz I said ya liked gettin’ fucked up more than ya liked me.” It ain’t a question. I know. 

“Think it was more the other thing you said.” 

Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle. I can still taste the words. “Shouldn’t’a said that to ya.” My voice is barely a whisper. 

She gets back up on the bed and puts her arm around me again, this time I don’t shake her away. Her voice, so close to my ear, “I didn’t want to tell you that I came back. I didn’t want you to know that I got sober for you.” 

What? “Why not?” 

“Wasn’t sure you’d care. And if you did… I didn’t want you to have all the what-ifs in your head that I have in mine.” 

She hugs herself into me so tight it’s hard to breathe, and she tells me, “It doesn’t matter anymore.” 

I feel guilty, can’t take any of that back. Can’t make any of it better. I don’t deserve this. Her. After all the nasty shit I ever thought about her. After what I did to her the other night. I can’t bring myself to tell her to leave cuz I know she wants to be here. Don’t wanna make her cry again. 

So I let her hold me. Even though I don’t fuckin’ deserve it. 

[yourlocaltreesimp]

Hi I'm a big fan and I just wanted to let you know I love your yandere headcannons I like the way you write them, I hope you don't mind me requesting for yandere headcannons of koridai, courage and platonic!wind. If you accept I can't wait to see them. (⁠*⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠/⁠～⁠♡. (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

Y’all Courage and Koridai simps are on crack. I’m here for it tho. Not doing wind in this part as i’m still planning where he’ll be

Yan!Chain headcannons

Tw: Yandarism and it’s accompanies, Courage and Koridai, I traumatised them, oops, child abuse, SH, baby trapping.

Courage

His version of the guide was different- far more than the rest. You were there. He saw your reflections in the mirrors and out of the corners of his eye, he heard whispers of your voice, you were there since as long as he could remember. He used to think you where an imaginary friend, as he didn’t have many actual friends. It made sense. But you never went away. No matter how much medications he took or lashes he’d taken, you were there.

It was when he learned of who he was and what purpose he held that he learned what you were. And it didn’t take him long to start going off the edge.

His very own guide- someone to hold and keep all to himself. Someone no one else could see. Someone no one could steal. Someone that would finally stay.

When he meets with the chain he’s still got that entitlement.

This reflects in his love languages. Physical touch and Quality time, being as close to you as often as possible. You were his reward, his support, his gift to be put through what he was put through. He deserves you.

He’ll hurt himself for your attention. Im talking full out stab wounds if that’s what it takes for you to kiss it better.

Fiercely loyal. Glares down anyone that flirts with him and would even flat out insult them when you were still just a spirit in his minds eye. Now you’re real however? He can and will compare people to you.

Has a hand on you at all times. He doesn’t care if he’s getting glared daggers, he’s throwing his arm around your waist and savouring the way you flush.

On that note, i’m sorry if you’re easily flustered. Like- truly. This man is a f l i r t. He’ll learn what makes you tick and abuse the living hell out of it. Even if it’s whispering the filthiest things into your ear, he’ll do it if it gets you blushing.

He’d kidnap you. 100 %. Married and with a kid by your side so you have to stay and so everyone knows you’re his. A wife on his arm and an heir to his title, even if they needed a little… assistance to realise that’s what they wanted.

Fav nicknames for you: Dear, Babe, Babes, Sugar, Honey, Loves, starlight

Koridai

It took him a while to realise you were his old guide, purely off of the fact he was so deep into believing he hallucinated you.

But prying him off of you when he comes to is what’s more difficult.

Again with physical touch, but he has a sweet spot for words of affirmation and gift giving. (you’re really racking up sugar daddies)

Golden retriever energy to the nines. Waiting at your hand and foot, back and call in case you might need him. You did so much for him, he might as well pay you back. He’ll cater to whatever you want of him. You want him to jump, he’ll ask how high. You want him to smile he’s beaming. You want jewellery, he’ll mine the gems himself. You want him to change his clothing, he’ll let you pick out a whole new wardrobe. You want a husband, he’ll hire the officiant. You want a man dead, all he needs is a name.

Two faced as Sky and Wars. Absolute sweetheart to your face, plays dumb to be unassuming, slips passed the squabbling of the chain and next thing they know he’s gone and you’re in his universe.

Another kidnapper.

Fun???

Either way you’re leaving with him or he’s leaving with you. He’d gotten himself so hurt while you left him unattended for 5 minutes to get water, and you expect him to live without you? After how he was forced to leave you behind? After he dug you a grave?

He can cry on command, and you’re none the wiser. You’d hold him as he sobbed and sniffled as the others watched. You’d defend him and his place, and off of the lies stories he told you, it’s a wonder you saw his emotions at all.

Nicknames: Whatever makes you the most embarrassed or flustered

[ego-meliorem-esse]

Do you hc America to speak other languages or is he a fully English bimbo? To my knowledge, NASA requires Russian fluency, I don't think many other US-government level agencies require another language but I could be wrong. I know Spanish translations of official documents are increasingly accessible but English is still the de facto language.

What I will say is that the notion that Alfred, as a superpower in the modern age, does not speaks several languages is absurd to me.

The languages i hc him to know, besides English, are:

Spanish - first and foremost. Though Alfred does have more of a Mexican dialect when speaking Spanish, which slightly annoys Antonio. As it should.

German - very good at it! Gets the accent almost perfect. For Alfred, German was one of those easier languages he learned. With most nations, Alfred speaks English. And not really because he doesn't want to or try to speak their language, but mostly because it's rare that other nations expect this dude to speak their native languages. Not with Gil tho! Their conversations are full of German-centric memes. Alfred is a big fan of Mitten im Leben. Unapologetically so! He knows enough German to understand the shitty acting in the show.

Mandarin - this on is very straight forward, it's good business. He uses it too much for diplomatic purposes to find joy and interest in speaking it. Sad really, as its a fascinating language.

Russian - also very straightforward, he works at NASA for commissions and contracts and its very common to speak it. Even besides that, the Cold War required it as well. His Spotify playlists are full of post communist songs of Russian, Polish, Yugoslav origins but he'll die before show it to anyone.

Japanese - He stutters and takes his time when speaking Japanese. He learned it but rarely uses it nowadays.

Korean - man, he tries. It's a relatively new language under Alfreds belt. But his problem is that he sounds very flat when speaking Korean. Nowadays he uses it more than Japanese though!

French - oh this is a very fun one for me to get into. Contrary to popular headcanoning, I hc him to struggle with it. He does understand most of verbal French, but as a child he started learning it and at that point he wasn't really all that interested in other languages. He had other shit keep his focus. So, while he did hear a large amount of it growing up, he had few attempts to speak it himself. Even during the American revolution, when he made his way across the pond to woo his french patrons, he was mostly spoken to in English. In their minds he was not very cultured. A mixed race country bumpkin putting his big boy pants on for the first time. As annoying that was for Alfred, he had other shit to worry about. And Matt rarely spoke French when living with Al and Arthur so there wasn't really an opportunity there for Alfred. This is one language that he is constantly passively learning, which is hilarious bc it's one of the first ones he should have known lol. I get that this is a very niche hc and makes little sense but i find joy in it. And also in François' frustration.

Plus a limited knowledge of other languages. Alfred is trying to make time to learn more languages, but finding time for it is a challenge.

I'll expand on Alfreds knowledge of both specific classifications of Algonquian and Iroquois languages in a later post.

All that said, Alfred is, in heart and soul, an "English bimbo" 🙏

[i-am-dulaman]

petition for that long rant on revolutions here, i really enjoyed the way you laid out your facts and explained the first rant and am not too good at reading theory myself (i am still trying tho) thanks!!

Okay okay so the problem with revolutions is they get messy. Real messy. You get counter-revolutionaries, moderates, extremists, loyalists, and everything in between. One revolution turns into 5, and even if your side wins, its almost guaranteed to have been tainted some way or another along the way.

Take the first french revolution. It started as civil unrest, the estates general initially called for reform of the french state into a constitutional monarchy similar to Britain. Even king louis XVI was in support of this. But extremists wanting a republic and counter-revolutionaries wanting absolute monarchy clashed and things became more and more chaotic and violent. Eventually the extremists won, the jacobin reign of terror ensued, and 10s of thousands of people were executed. Now don't get me wrong, i am all for executing monarchs and feudal lords, but look what happened a few years later; Napoleon used the political instability to declare himself emperor, a few more years later his empire had crumbled, and the monarchy was back with Louis XVIII.

Or take the 1979 iranian revolution. It started as protests against pahlavi, who was an authoritarian head of state and an American pawn. As the protests turned into civil resistance and guerilla warfare it took on many different forms. There were secularists vs islamic extremists. There were democrats vs theocrats vs monarchists. Etc. Through all the chaos, Khomeini seized power, held a fake referendum, and declared himself supreme leader and enforced many strict laws, particularly on women who previously had close to equal rights. Many of the millions of women involved in the revolution later said they felt bettayed by the end result.

Or the Russian Revolution. It started as protests, military strikes, and civil unrest during WW1 directed at the tsar. He stepped down in 1917 and handed power over to the Duma, the russian parliament. This new provisionary government initially had the support of soviet councils, including socialist groups like the menshiviks. But they made the major mistake of deciding to continue the war. Lenins bolsheviks were originally a very tiny group on the fringes of russian politics, but they were the loudest supporters of peace, so they gained support and organised militias into an army and thus began the russian civil war. Lenin won and followed through on his promise to end the war against germany, but its a bit ironic that they fought a civil war, that killed about 10 million people, just to end another war.

Im not saying any of these results were either bad or good. They all have nuance and its all subjective. But the point i am trying to make is that they get messy. The initial goals will always be twisted.

France wanted a constitutional monarchy, they got an autocratic emporer.

Iran wanted democracy and an end to American influence, and well they ended american influence alright but also got a totalitarian theocrat.

Russia wanted an end to world war 1 and got one of the bloodiest civil wars in history.

I cant think of a single revolution in history that achieved the goals it set out to achieve.

But again, im not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, just a warning against revolutionary rhetoric and criticisms of reformism. Sometimes revolution is the only option, when you're faced with an authoritarian government diametrically opposed to change, then a revolution may be worth the risk. But it is a risk.

But if you live in a democracy, claiming revolution is the only way is actively choosing both bloodshed and the risk of things going horribly wrong over the choice of peaceful reform.

So when i go online in some leftist spaces and see people claiming revolution in America or UK or wherever is the only way out of capitalism I cant help but feel angry.

I know our democracy is flawed, and reform is slow and can even go backwards, but we owe it to all the people who would die in a revolution to try reform first.

I know socialist reform is especially hard in our flawed democracy where capitalists own the media, but if we can't convince enough people to vote for socialist reform what hope do we have of convincing enough people to join a socialist revolution. Socialism is supposed to be for the people, but how can you claim your revolution is for the people if you can't even get the support of the people?

So what I'm trying to say is; if youre one of those leftists that are sitting around waiting for the glorious revolution, doing nothing but posting rhetoric online - at least try doing something else while you wait. Join your labour union, recruit your coworkers, get involved in your local socialist parties, call your local representatives (city council, senator, governor, member of parliament, whatever) and make your opinions known, push them further left, and keep pushing.

[smicksstuff]

"you can't change what happened. But you can still change what will happen." Sebastian Vettel.

The PitBox Crew Series

masterlist

Ferrari Charm

(lance stroll x yngasly) (f1 drivers x yngasly)

warnings: a little swearing.

yngasly

Monaco

liked by lancestroll, alexandrasaintmleux, sebastianvettel and 892, 672 others

yngasly MONACO BABY !! 🇲🇨👑 plus its arty’s first race !! ✨🏎️

view 738 comments

arthur_leclerc ❤️❤️❤️❤️

liked by yngasly and 799 others

charles_leclerc what about me its my home race too ☹️

yngasly YESS little monaco prince completed his first full monaco race 🥳🤩😍 charles_leclerc was not expecting that shoutout 😳 yngasly we celebrate all achievements 🤭 antonio_fuoco1 so proud of you CHARLIE !!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

estebanocon 💙💙💙

liked by yngasly and 892 others

yngaslyfans SHE MET SEBB !!!!

yngaslyfc OMG I WANNA TRADE LIFE WITH HER

lancestroll my girl ❤️ lose the ferrari hat tho

yngasly NEVER !! Ferrari is life ❤️ lancestroll ASTON MARTIN!!! pierregasly ALPINE !!! carlossainz55 FERRARI !!!! 🤩 charles_leclerc FERRARI !! 😍 lancestroll 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️ yngaslyfans not the boys fighting for her support !!! landonorris MCLAREN !!! 🧡🧡🧡 arthur_leclerc DAMS!! maxverstappen1 RED BULL !! 💙❤️ olliebearman PREMA!!!! yngasly you kids need to chill! bros about to start a whole f1 team war in my comments !!! yngaslyfc THIS IS TOO GOOD !! even max joined the fight !

noahschnapp YN !!! we need to meet again!! my paddock bestie 😍

yngasly YESS !!! text me when you come to the next race strangerwill im sorry since when did this happen ?? strangerf1 HELL YESS !!!! i was praying that these two meet !! f1bros she really be doing gods work here !! someone get her a job in f1!!

tomholland2013 lovely pictures! 💯

yngasly omg thankyou !!! 😍 gaslyfc this girl i swear!! i love how everyone loves her!

-

yngasly

Monaco

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, noahschnapp and 1,849,929 others

yngasly monaco at night ft my favourite drivers 🍁🐶🌶️👑🍼🍣🏆🐈📚💐🍾🥦 🏄🏼‍♂️ 🦡

(there is no particular order 😉🍁🌶️)

view 792 comments

yngaslyfans so if im right … lance, pierre?, carlos, charles, lando, yuki, max, alex?, ?????????

yngaslyfans someone help decipher the code !! 😂😂😂 yngaslyfans i wanna who the last few are lancearmy the flowers could be fernando 💐 f1fans champagne ?? landoo ?? lancearmy thats not possible the milk bottle is definitely him yngaslyfans damnn this girl making me use my brain more than i use it in school 😳

lilymhe the code: lancelot, pedro, chilli, perceval, little lando, yukisan, max the champ, alexalabono, georgie, fernando, estie bestie, sir, mickey and danny 😉

scuderiagasly not the dog for pierre !! 😂 username9 lily giving us another code by presenting thier nicknames HAHAHA sirlewis sir - lewis - 🥦 this girl is wild carmenmmundt how did you get this from that ? i was stuck at the books 😂 lilymhe i was on ft with her when she wrote this 🤭 carmenmmundt you definitely helped with some lilymhe heyyy its not me only !! alex was on the call too !! albonounite not alex helping with this 🧍🏻 lilymhe definitely not the alex you are thinking about. this requires too much thinking albonounite ALEXANDRA??? girl was in it too

alexandrasaintmleux work of art 🖼️

yngasly hang it in the louvre !! pierregasly GO BACK TO SLEEP KIDDO !! yngasly AWWW MY BIG BRO LOVES ME SO SO MUCH ❤️ I LOVE YOU PEDRO pierregasly love you too kiddo but go to sleep now !! get off here !! someone take her phone mickschumacher i have it yngaslyfc PLS we just got a glimpse to what their text chain is like !! love it 😍

username3 she says there is no order but lance and carlos emojis appear as well

gaslyfc her priorities 💯

louispartridge_ ❤️ till next time gasgas

liked by yngasly and 2,890 others

yngasly till next time loulou 🔥

f1fanclub NO WAY HIM TOOO !!!

-

lancestroll & estebanocon just added to their story

-

yngasly

Barcelona

liked by pierregasly, lancestroll, carlossainz55 and 990, 552 others

yngasly TEAM 55 !!! ❤️🌶️✨

view 927 comments

carlossainz55 mi chiquita 😍💯

lancestroll cant believe i got ditched for carlos this whole week 🥺

yngasly im sorry baby im all yours next race ❤️ lancestroll ngl its also carlos im not mad 🙃 yngasly ‼️‼️‼️ carlossainz55 @lancestroll 😘

pierregasly WOW all this for carlos !! Ese hombre español es demasiado guapo para pelear (translation: That Spanish man is too handsome to fight)

yngasly for once we agree 💯 charles_leclerc i wanna be mad that i didnt get the same for monaco but its carlos ….. landonorris cant wait for my post in silverstone 😙 georgerussell63 hey what about me then carlossainz55 i love all the love here 😍 charles & pierre 😘

lewishamilton its the damn bucket hat !!

carlossainz55 cmon mate you love it lewishamilton maybe

sainzforlife has this become a carlos sainz fanpage ?? im here for it !!

scuderialeclerc not pierre and charles calling carlos handsome 😏 verstappenfc max is coming for charles now 😠 sirlancelot nobody forget how lance is okay with yn fangirling over carlos strollies carlos is a mutual understanding sainzfc sainz girlies thriving todayyy

neymarjr Prazer em conhecê-lo 😁 (translation: Nice to meet you)

yngasly 😁💯

masonmount the chels hat looks gooood !!!

yngasly the chels hat was a lost bet! this is the last time you will see it 👍🏽 benchillwell 😳😵 masonmount 💀

gaslyfans girl has got neymar, mason mount and ben chillwell in her comments !!! man i love her so much!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

yngaslyfc ill give anything to hang with her at a grand prix weekend!!!

-

yngasly & lilymhe just added to their story

-

yngasly

Ibiza

liked by isahernaez, lilymhe, lancestroll and 489,929 others

yngasly spanish getaway with my girl ❤️ + lance

isahernaez te quiero mi amor ❤️

yngasly ❤️❤️❤️

gaslyfans thank you !! i thought with all happening we gonna lose them too 🫠

gaslyfc girl switched from carlos to isa in 24 hours

lancestroll never thought i would be a thirdwheel in my girlfriends relationship 😭😭😭

liked by isahernaez, yngasly and 982 others

yngasly dont worry i got lots of love for you too 😘❤️

lilymhe cuties !! 🔥

liked by isahernaez, yngasly and 728 others

charlottesine you guys are too cute !! 😍

liked by yngasly, isahernaez and 451 others

isahernaezfc cha commenting 😍 she is still following yn too 😍

francisca.cgomes 🔥💯

comments have been limited in this post

-

lando.jpg

New York

liked by danielriccardo, yngasly, lancestroll and 799, 692 others

lando.jpg Lando and Yn travel the world pt 1

view 902 comments

yngasly ✈️🗽

yngasly where to next ?!

lando.jpg MONTREAL 🍁🥞 yngasly after ? lando.jpg girl you only asking cause you know ill pay yngasly got to respect the hustle mate pierregasly raised you right !! so proud!! lando.jpg @lancestroll she is all yours mate

lancestroll my my the girl is so hot 😍

yngasly really? didnt think that was your type lancestroll definitely my type ❤️ yngasly you should take her out on a date then lancestroll oh definitely 💯 landonorris ew go away

danielriccardo did yall go to the pizza place i told yall about ?!!!!

lando.jpg yes we did !! yngasly best pizza ever !!! 🍕❤️ yngasly danny next time i come to NY you have to bring me around !! lando.jpg hey i wasnt that bad !! martingarrix mate we got lost so many times ! yngasly we got lost in central park !! ended up at the zoo ? when we just wanted to go to the records store 😐 lando.jpg 🤐🤐🤐 danielriccardo IM WAITING IN CANADA FOR THE TEA !!! COME FASTER logansargeant central park ? zoo? records store ? HOW? yngasly EXACTLY ! ill tell you in the paddock ! oscarpiastri can i join too !!!

f1bros besties in NY !

gaslyfc guys my friends and i saw them in new york and we went to ask for pictures and she also asked for directions after !!

yngasly lifesavers !! gaslyfc anytime bestie !!

teamlance can i just say how i love that lance is okay with her going off with lando or anyone anytime

strollies i mean yn literally knew these guys since she was a kid so they kinda like family already username8 i wouldnt let my partner do this username7 mate their pictures literally look like a soft launch strollies have you not seen that all of the drivers post pics with yn like this? username7 exactly my point. she is literally using them for clout username8 she can be pierre's sister but does she have to have the same friends as him?? teamlance yea she can. she literally grew up with them. they are her friends too. username8 attention-seeking behaviour strollies says the one

-

bonus:

-

taglist: @fangirlika @threedalla @sticksdoesart @ophcelia @gothicwidowsworld @nmw-am @h0e-xoxo @inthestars-underthesun @tyna-19 @champomiel @pitconfirmbutton @clcspeonies @67-angelofthelordme-67 @xcharlottemikaelsonx @fulla02 @mehrmonga @myescapefromthislife @deviltsunoda @lithiscool @bat-shark-repellant @harrysdimple05 @majx00 @noncannonships @rd14 @inejghafawifesblog @baw-sixteen

credits: all pictures found on pinterest and instagram.

a/n: thank you for reading this far!! if you have any suggestions send them to me! i would love to include them in the next chapter!!

if you would liked to be tagged in new chapters, comment your username below 👇😗

[aj1dordinary]

chat is this real???

platonic!Johnny Cage x platonic!gen-z!reader

lowkey crack???

im crossed asf and while viewing a MK1 tiktok w/ Johnny and ‘International Love’, couldn’t help but think of how cool it would be to be Johnny Cage’s assistant… like he has the same energy as a Gen Z-er. We’d be besties fr.

just so u know, im black and fem so !reader is gonna be interpreted as black and fem xox

“johnny baby~” you trilled as you step out of the Uber to meet him at his house. as his social media manager, it was your job to record all the content across all social media platforms. with his new movie coming out paying homage to the ‘Indiana Jones’ franchice, you thought it would be good for promo if you recorded you both doing a trendy Tiktok dance.

fans of Johnny Cage knew you nearly as a duo. when people conduct interviews on a set or on the red carpet, people could always count on you ready to capture that night’s funniest quote or moment that would circulate like crazy. you’d also frequently appear in them, physically forcing johnny to keep up with the latests trends as a nearing 40 year old man. The comments would always be filled with remarks like “i fear for your well-being if you EVER get rid of y/n” or “y/n’s mind neverrr misses”. safe to say, your career is secured.

you nearly skip to his door when you notice the door was wide open, obvious signs of a break-in occurring. “oh my god,” you inhaled deeply, the tone coming from a mix of your head and your belly. “mr. cage!” you then screech, you hide in the nearest shrubs while fishing through your purse to find your phone then your taser. when the two items occupy your grasp, you look up to sky, take a deep breath, then let out a war screech. simultaneously, you start the instagram live while holding down the button of your taser, the electric crackles breaking up the audio of you screaming. 

you run in through his foyer before stumbling upon a scene between some japanese guy strapped to a chair, a man with glowing fucking eyes, and two hot guys. ok, maybe one hot guy, the other guy had literal frost coming from his hand… still hot tho.

“Oh damn y’all.. i just caught the behind-the scenes of johnny’s gay porn. my fault og’s.” you said before abruptly ending the livestream.

you barging in phone-first with the need to catch johnny cage’s demise on camera being the first thing you think of before your wellbeing (the taser) had johnny chuckling a bit. if anything, had it actually been his demise, at least you would’ve got his good side. he liked that you were committed to the job as he was committed to cinema. suddenly, a lightbulb idea hit him. 

“oh~” he chuckled. “i hope you don’t mind if i bring my assistant.” he patted the shoulder of the glowing-eye man, before tipping his sunglasses at you . “I’m afraid i won’t be at my 100% otherwise.”

“nuh-uh” you raise your eyebrows, appalled that he was gonna offer your service on behalf.

“uhhh yuh-huh.” johnny mocked you now turning toward you. the party that you’ve yet to address just look between the two of you riff off one another. johnny (supposedly one of Earthrealm’s defenders) and a young women (maybe the source of his strength/energy)? the two hot ones look at each other through a side eye before shrugging.

“nuh-uh johnny, that wasn’t in the contract. i told you that if you had any body other than me as your assistant right now, you would’ve been got your ass lit up in fucking court. i cant stand your ass sometimes, y’know?” johnny speed walked (sped walk?) over to you as you kept going off on his ass, before grabbing your elbow and dragging you to some corner.

“y/n~” he whined almost on the verge of throwing a tantrum. Meanwhile, you stand firm, tapping your feet as though you were impatient. “you’re embarrassing me in front of a literal god right now. and i mean LITERALLY god.” you scrunched your face up and roll your eyes. “no, believe me I thought the same thing at first, but he literally shoots fireballs out his hand and summons dragons. other two remind me of that show you watch, y’know the intro that goes ‘then everything changed when the fire nation attacked’” he nearly pouted, trying to think of a way to get you to believe him.

You raise an eyebrow, rolling your eyes at the near puppy-dog eyes johnny gives you through the dark lens of his shades, his lips nearly quivering. 

“oklahoma?” you state, both of you binging had been binging ‘Ted Lasso” and thought it’d be funny (for yourselves and his audience) to start implementing it.

“oklahoma.” he returns with bated breath.

You try to see if you can gauge any other emotion before sighing and withdrawing your tense stance.

“i need you to record everything we encounter in this “Outerrealm”. for when i’m busy improvisin’ and kickin’ ass. all of it.” He paced both hands on your shoulder.

“24/7?” you question.

“yes.”

“sounds like an unpaid business trip. what’s in it for me?” You respond almost before he could finish the word. 

“$1 million pension and I’ll let you have 50% of the rights on the new movie i make about this shit.” He responded just as fast.

“done. nice doing business with you old man.” you shake his hand.

almost as quickly as he pulled you away, you fix your appearance before heading back out to the living room to address the crowd of supernatural men.

“alright boys. you heard him, the name’s y/n and i need to be with johnny 24/7. if i can’t go, he can’t go. We have a very tight schedule to run and demands must be met before we let you squeeze in your alleged plans to save the world.” you cross your arms in front of you and look up at the three sweaty and built (damn. damn. damn. d-) men.

“my name is lui kang, champion and protector of Earthrealm. as much as i'd hate to have a civilian on the front line, i anticipate that your liveliness is secure. regardless, if that would make johnny more than comfortable, then i gladly accept your presence.” the  supposed god said. 

“glad we could make this work” you stuck out your hand to shake all three. the god returned the gesture - his hands warm and rough. you offer the gesture to the rest of the entourage, the man permeating the frost didn’t dare look at your outstretched hand, refusing to return the gesture. but he spoke a rough “bi han” that you took as his name. the other grasped your hand and shook it, more amused at your obvious lack of knowledge of who you were dealing with. he was broken out of his thoughts when you look at your hand in near amazement. “kuai liang” he spoke.

“sir, i think you’ve just cured my anemia” your eyes widen in admiration. johnny just rolled his eyes as he cut what you assumed to be the intruder out of the chair. you address him next.

“and sorry for johnny’s affinity for ropes, he’s got a thing for BDSM.” 

“do not..” he mumbles, you throw him a knowing glance.

“kenshi” he merely grunted, wiping broken glass off his suit.

“well,” you start. “looks like shit in here, but i’m sure we can write it off somewhere. what’s next on the schedule kangaroo?”

lui kang looks a bit taken aback at the nickname you chose for him, but he clears his throat to recalibrate.

“we must travel to wu shi academy to prepare for a tournament where Earthrealm’s fate lies in the hands of warriors i have hand picked.”

“and this guy is one of them?” you interrupt. the guy deemed kenshi chuckled.

lui kang smiled and nodded his head.

“well,” you check your watch. “let’s get on with it. we have a tiktok due at 7 PM and a set to be on within a week.” 

lui kang turns and begins swirling his hands before a literal portal appears in johnny’s living room.

“holy-“ you start already pulling your phone out to record like johnny requested. he nudged your side as to say ‘i told you so’.

so thus, your journey begins as johnny’s personal cheerleader and assistant as he sets off to kick some serious ass and not care about the names.

-end-

!please!let!me!know!what1you!think! i feel like a suck at writing, but i do maladaptive daydream a lot so i have plenty more ideas i’d like to write about. otherwise, xoxo go piss girl