#im not talking about romance i gave up on that forever ago

[astro-gnome]

starting to think that im forever gonna be lonely and miserable

[emilycollins00]

Hi!!! :3. I was wondering if you could write something for Omi, please? Like a scenario where he is between confessing his feelings for you or keep them to himself. Sorry if this bother you, but currently im in a Omi brainrot 😭😭. I really love your style and writing 💕💕💕💕

Omi brain-rot is REAL and it’s such a state to be you are so strong nana/j I focused a bit more on his own monologue regarding the situation. Hope it’s okay?

Please enjoy! 💕

Giving the heart a rest (OmixReader)

Despite what many might say, Omi was not the best at dealing with feelings. Not all feelings, of course— More like his own. And out of those, the ones specifically related to you. Kinda.

He had definitely tried to pay no mind to them at first. Part of him focused on believing the sensations he felt when your name popped among his notifications—or every time he saw you smile— must have been what his loved ones brought.  He felt like himself the more time he spent with you. Recharged. Strong. It hadn’t been since he first entered Mankai that he had felt so at ease with someone.

So why ruin it thinking about his feelings?

Maybe that was not the exact word.

In any case, the autumn member hadn’t wanted to put a name to any of it. If he could have chosen, things could have stayed that way forever and he would have been happy in his obliviousness. But the fact simply dawned on him one day, right after a random conversation with you that had zero connections to romance in the slightest. That’s when Omi knew.

And it was scary, somehow. Being aware of these newfound feelings for you.

He left the tray of petit fours resting on the kitchen table right next to the previous midnight snack he had prepared that evening, a few hours ago. These new ones were made with bits of strawberries and lemon. A few would enjoy them, Omi hoped.

He was beginning to wash the utensils when the door to the kitchen opened.

“Oh, it’s Ma.”

Immediately recognizing the voice, Omi pecked from the counter, hands still wet. “Yuki? It’s rare to see you up this late.” he looked at the clock on the wall confirming the time. Yeah, four in the morning was definitely out of the young man’s usual schedule, especially when they were on a break in between plays. “You okay? Want me to make you some tea?”

The young man shrugged, but didn’t seem completely opposed to the idea since he walked in. Omi began to heat the pot. “The hack has been preparing for an audition of some sort again,” he muttered while sitting on one of the chairs. “Decided to leave him talking to himself. I’m too tired to argue with his empty-head.”

“I see. I’ll prepare some tea for him too then.”

Yuki hummed. He stared for a while, watching the main cook of Mankai move around the pots in the silence of the night. He then glanced at the table and turned back to the him one more time before breaking the silence. “So, what’s up with the stress-cooking.”

The actor gave a quick chuckle, not really looking up. “Just a thought or two I couldn’t shake.”

“About?”

“It’s… complicated.”

No comment following that sentence came from either of them.

Part of Omi was thankful. It wasn’t that he didn’t trusted Yuki (or anyone in Mankai for that matter, that was out of the question) but even he didn’t know how to voice his thoughts or organize them in his head, so verbalizing them was a whole new level.

Which one was really the best choice? To keep it inside forever seemed easier. Telling you… he couldn’t fathom imagining your expression. Would you feel; forced? uncomfortable? open to the possibility of considering him? He was sure everyone would wholeheartedly tell him to follow his heart. To go for it. Hell, he would have said it as well had the person not been… himself. And yet, there was something that didn’t feel right no matter what he chose.

Or maybe it was just this personal pressure he liked to put himself under, as Izumi and Sakyo sometimes said.

“Is it about Y/N?”

The cup he was filling almost fell when his body jerked on his own, a bit of the hot tea scattering over the counter, making Omi contain a yelp.

Talk about abrupt.

Then again, maybe he shouldn’t have been as surprised. You had visited the dorm after all, albeit only a few times as a favor to help him take photos of some troupes’ outfits for an upcoming play. If anyone could have noticed something... it really might have been Yuki.

The boy in question scoffed at his behaviour, as if he had been aware of what would happen if he mentioned you.

“Don’t look too surprised, I just took a shot. You have quite the walls put up, Ma.”

Omi continued to stay silent. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of being found out, but there was something awkward in having someone reading him like that.

“I like them.” Yuki continued talking as he watched Omi clean the bit of mess, unimpressed. “Not that I’ve talked much with them to have a fully detailed opinion but… you feel different.”

“Different?”

“Gentler, I guess,” he offered. “Which honestly didn’t think was possible— I even asked the dumb dog if you two were dating. He had no clue.”

Omi’s eyes flashed. Yuki didn’t seem to notice, stretching his hand to grab the newly made pastries. He took a bite before speaking again. “So? You trying to think of a way to invite them out or something?”

Once the main problem came up in the air Omi’s shoulder fell. There it was again, that unknown pressure on his chest. “I… don’t know.” He eventually answered. There was no point in trying to hide what Yuki had said so far was not true. He had never been good at lying anyway. Or at being completely honest with himself either. “I don’t think they would want that.”

Yeah… yeah. Maybe it all came down to that. Maybe he didn’t feel worthy enough. And you definitely deserved better than someone with doubts like him.

“Well that is the stupidest thing I’ve heard.”

For the second time in that night, Omi almost dropped the liquid of the cups while straining the tea. Even if being overly direct was one of the main characteristics of Yuki’s personality, he had toned them down over the years, though it seemed this time he could have helped stopping himself. Maybe because Omi deserved it. The autumn member let a hollow laugh, and placed the teacups on the table for the summer actor to take.

“Sorry.” He tried to smile while nodding. “Guess it doesn’t make much sense all this thinking.”

Yuki’s eyebrow rose. “I didn’t really say it to scold you or anything, it doesn’t really concern me.” the young actor sighed deeply and rested his head on his hand. “It’s just surprising, hearing you doubt youserlf over something like this since you tend to be so easy... or maybe not.”

“I don’t—”

“You are overthinking this way more than you should, is what I meant. I bet you are probably imagining how they would react to something you would say, something you wouldn’t say, how would they feel if you didn’t say anything...” He motioned waving his hands rolling his eyes. “It’s your choice Ma but honestly, you should let them have a say in this.”

Yuki took the teacups, thanked Omi and that was the end of their conversation.

.

.

.

“Omi, over here!”

Calm down, you. He tried his best to smile like usual. It comes to him better than he imagined considering he didn’t get that much sleep. “Hey. You’re early.” He stopped the motorbike in front of your meeting spot and opened the back to looking for the other helmet, careful of not moving the cameras and equipment too much.

You made a proud noise. “Well, it’s not always I can ride on your motorbike. Plus, I thought if we finish the job early we could take a look around the place before coming back? There’s quite that garden near the job location.”

“Oh.” He blinked, then smiled. “…Sure, I don’t have anything planned after this.”

“Then let’s take those photos as soon as possible!” You clapped excited, beginning to put the helmet yourself. He merely laughed, turning on the bike once he felt your arms firmly around him.

“What’s the name of the employer again?” he opted to make conversation, trying to focus on something other than your touch. “Hinata Mamoru and Hinata…” You made a thinking sound from behind.

“Hanabi-san, I think. Yesterday Honda-san told me before leaving that they wanted us to…”

Neither of you were expert in the photography industry. If anything, Omi should call you his superior for having been working on the studio one month before he was hired (you were always quick to dismiss that fact), which made the fact of you two being assigned a task outside to be quite exciting. Omi continued listening to your voice and decided for a moment to enjoy the moment. Just you and him doing what you liked.

Of course, whether that could be called good or bad luck, the job had ended much earlier than expected- the weather had helped incredibly, and there was something about working outdoors that helped Omi’s sense become cleared. As of now, phone calls ended, both of you were walking around the park you had been recommended.

“Cloud Haze Garden first, then we go to…” You scrolled along your phone, where you had a map of the place saved. "The Udon diaries?" you turned waiting for his opinion. "What do you think?”

He gives the okay, your face beaming immediately. And it might sound cliché, but Omi loved seeing you enjoying yourself like this. He always hoped you could be yourself with him like he felt with you.

Continuing small talk, your feet lead you to the Garden. You felt your breath taken away by the sight of the flowers and were quick to take pictures, walking around and talking with Omi as you did.

You then ventured towards the Rose Garden, past a section fashioned to look European. You bent down a little, taking some more photographs of the flowers. "They're beautiful." You smiled, eyes following the trail the way.

You didn’t see the way Omi looked at you—you were far too distracted by the roses to notice.

"They are." He agreed quietly.

His gaze burned.

The words didn’t register until he finished speaking. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Sounds serious.”

You said it as a joke since the comment had come up from nowhere, but the way Omi’s body tensed and his smile didn’t fully reach his eyes prompted you to frown quickly. The air seemed suddenly charged with a mix of uncertainty and eagerness, making you lower your phone. “You okay?”

“Yes.” maybe he answered too fast. A few birds chirped in the distance. He took some air. “It’s nothing important. I’ve just been giving… something more thoughts on my own rather than just… sorry I’m doing it again.” He laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s been difficult to put it into words.”

You hummed, opting to continue walking, as to not make it uncomfortable. It was unusual to say the least to see Omi as preoccupied as he currently looked. You also didn’t like the way his golden eyes kept running away from yours. “Everything okay back at the dorm?”

You two reach a new section of the garden, more tropical. It’s a quite humid as well.

He blinks, as if his theatre was the last thing on his mind. “Oh yeah, everyone is doing fine.”

“I see. That’s good then.”

You decided to stop trying to come up with something—outloud, that is. Your own mind was picturing every possible situation a person like Omi could be having trouble with. And honestly? You were miserably failing. He had told you his brothers had begun their high school studies but they seemed fine. Work had been a pain in the ass lately but everyone loved Omi (who didn’t) so the only option was the worst one.

You halted and turned. “Is it something I did?”

His face almost went white. “No!” That he didn’t hesitate to answer. “No,” he shook his head. “It’s…”

You continue waiting for him to say something, but there was this loss for words. Why had he said anything in the first place? He wasnt like this and both of you knew it. He felt like a kid, not knowing where to start, how to sort his ideas through, or even how to will his tongue to make sense.

I like you. A lot. More than a lot. More than friends are supposed to.

Omi's heart skipped a beat at the trace of worry forming in your eyes. He was making this more difficult that it should, and you shouldn’t be having to be this uncomfortable because of him. He internally groaned. If he was supposed to be as perfect as everyone used to say, he would like to see someone come and do worse than he was doing at the moment.

Another section, this time the air is clearer. You could even see a small pond with quite the variety of flowers surrounding it, but you both continued walking. Slowling the pace a bit more than before. You had never seen Omi this… terrified.

Well, not terrified, but conflicted? Yeah.

You glanced at him, and your heart squeezed. You don’t dare to rush him this time either, but eventually—mercifully— he nods.

“I am… a bit scared.” Talking felt robotic.

“I would never judge you, Omi.”

“I know.”

You may not feel the same but please-

“You know you can count on me.”

A piece of his stomach sank. “I know.” Of course he knew.

Don’t stop talking to me.

Omi raised his head. He was an idiot. And you would always be too good for him.

Say it, Omi.

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

Tell them dammit!

Hesitating one last time and with his heart pounding in his chest, Omi looked at you. He watched your face, followed the familiar lines, dips and curves of your features. Your eyes, bright, staring right back into his in the middle of the garden. He drank off the view.

He imagined his entire life searching for the feelings you evoked in him. He wasn’t sure he would be able to find them again.

His voice went shaky when he finally spoke—barely a whisper, and very little shape to the words.

 "I'm in love with you.”

____________________________________________________________

Omi marry me

This man is just too much aaaaah. Hope you all enjoyed it!

Wishing you all a beautiful day!! 💕

[ourloveisforthelovely]

The Girl Most Wanted (Part 1)

Harry Potter Marauders Era 

Request:  HI SO i was thinking about a really cliche regulus x reader 😭 so could you do like if regulus was like you know the guy everyone wants, but the reader is the only exception and doesn’t seems to want him at all which makes him wants her you know what im talking about? lmao hope thats not confusing thank you in advance! 💚

Pairings: Regulus Black x  Reader 

Rating: T 

Author Note: This will be a two part series. 

_______________

“He’s so cute.”

You looked up at your friend Jenny’s voice. Frowning, you turned in the direction that she was looking. Automatically, you rolled your eyes...Regulus Black . It seemed like every girl in Slytherin...hell any girl in whatever house was always fawning over Sirius and Regulus Black. Both boys eagerly fed into the crazy around them too.

Every girl seemed to love him...every girl but you. You didn’t have the time nor the energy to deal with Regulus. To your displeasure, that seemed to make him want you all the more. Anytime you turned around there he was giving you that ‘fuck me and I’ll love you forever” smile. Fuck me and love you forever was actually debatable. Regulus never seemed to keep a steady girlfriend for more than a few weeks.

“Regulus Black, I am not about to be another notch on your bedpost. I don’t care how good-looking you are.”

That seemed to only encourage Regulus to chase you more. He decided to start sending you roses, jewelry, anything that he thought would charm you. To Regulus’ displeasure, nothing seemed to charm you. You would give him a polite thank you but would never accept the offer of dates, the best love-making that you would ever experience, the promise that his wandering would stop...or whatever Regulus could come up with. You would politely remind him that he was 15 years old and no Casanova.

“Jenny, you need to stop. The last time that you did anything with Regulus resulted in you getting your heartbroken.”

You wanted to protect your friend. She had dated Regulus over a month ago and as usual, the relationship lasted all of two weeks before falling apart into hell fire. Regulus was just fine and moved onto some sixth-year Slytherin girl (that was perched on his lap petting his cheek as if he was a little puppy.) This left Jenny an emotional wreck that you had to deal with. Jenny had come crying to you when she caught Regulus snogging some girl from Hufflepuff. It had taken all that you had not to ask her what she expected.

“I can’t help it. Y/n, you have to admit that he is good-looking.”

You put your quill down.

“Yes, Jenny. Regulus is extremely good looking but he’s a pig!”

You said the last part loud enough for Regulus to hear. Standing up, you saw his grey eyes locked on you as he shoved the girl off of his lap.

“Just don’t Regulus.”

You commented holding a hand up. You didn’t have the strength to deal with him at the moment. It had been a long day and you were tired. Regulus jumped up before reaching out and taking your hand in his. He gave you a sweet smile before kissing your hand.

“Y/n, you smell so nice. Why won’t you give me a chance? I can be a good boyfriend...if I have the right girl.”

Normally if Regulus did this, whatever girl it was, would give in. You, however, were the one girl that seemed to be the biggest pain in his ass. It didn’t matter how adorable, sweet, or precious he was, you always said no.

“Well, good luck finding her. You’ve had half of the girl in the castle underneath you. There are still some girls that you haven’t bedded yet.”

Regulus winced.

“You know that isn’t true.”

You nodded.

“Yes, it is. Like I told you before, Regulus, I will not be another notch on your bedpost. You haven’t changed or made any effort to.”

You were pleased with the stunned smile on Regulus’ face as you reached out and pushed one of his curls away from his face.

“You would be the best looking boy in this castle if you weren’t such a slut.”

It took all that you had not to laugh at the expression on his face in addition to his friends. Evan Rosie’s mouth was hanging open while Barty Crouch Jr was wincing and looking for a place to hide.

“I am not a slut!”

Regulus snapped, completely stunned that you had spoken to him like that. If it was any other girl, Regulus probably would have thrown a huge tantrum. He, instead, stood looking at you as if you had slapped him.

“How many girls have you slept with this week? What do you even know about me?”

You asked. Regulus blinked as he tried to come up with a number to offer you. When he couldn’t you shook your head.

“My point exactly. Make sure that you are using a condom. I would hate for you and your cute ass to get some kind of cooties.”

You turned on your heel and walked out of the common room leaving Regulus in a state of shock. Evan was the first to speak. He stood and put a hand on Regulus’ shoulder.

“Mate, I am sorry to say this, but she verbally spanked you.”

Regulus stood stewing a few moments before taking off after you. There was no way in hell that he was about to let you get away that quickly. No one talked to Regulus Black that way!

“Y/n, wait!”

You turned from your place at the top of the staircase as Regulus ran up after you. He stood a minute catching his breath before speaking.

“Chocolate frogs.”

You frowned.

“Excuse me?”

Regulus ran a hand through his hair.

“Chocolate frogs are your favorite candy. You have (insert your eye color) eyes. Your favorite subject is potions and you are better than anyone else in our class. You also like to go to the astronomy tower on full moons because it's the only time you have a chance to see anything so beautiful. There is also the fact that you love those muggle romance novels but don’t believe in love because no one has given you any reason to believe that love is real. What if I told you that I felt the same way...that’s why I am this way but...I really think that you could change me...I just need a chance.”

You almost made a comment about Regulus being a stalker but didn’t.

“You’ve noticed all of that about me?”

Regulus nodded.

“I have. Please baby...just once chance.”

You reached out and ruffled Regulus’ hair making him nearly fall backward.

“As thoughtful and probably well-rehearsed that was...actions speak louder than words. Show me a miracle and then we’ll talk.”

You patted his cheek before turning and walking away with a smug smile on your face. A girl finally shut Regulus Black up.

Go me.

_____

@amelie-black @regulusslut @truly-insatiable @realgaytrash @fandomsxxregulus @quuenofblacks @hazncalsgal @rubyroscoe1 @criminalyetminimal @whymyparentscheckmyphone @teletubiswszpilkach @mimisparkle12 @fific7 @bennyberry @jessyballet @knreidy1 @acciosiriusblack @lucasfilms77 @exhsle @spiderxalmighty @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @li0nh34rt @tas898 @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @stuckinsaudi1 @deanwherescas @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @shitfaceddaniel @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner

[shaynawrites23]

Secret Admirer

Word count: 2054

Prompts:

“I think I practiced asking you out a good thirty times in the mirror.” “You practiced asking me out... on yourself?”

“Were you the one to write me all these letters?”

“But you love me anyways.”

“I’ve kissed you so many times already, but I wouldn’t mind another.”

“I don’t know where I’m going quite yet, but I know I want you here with me.”

“When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me - is you.”

Written for @yourssuccubus’s writing challenge, as well as @im-a-writer-right’s challenge and @writingevents’s September event!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on, (y/n), spill! Do you already know who it is?”

You were sitting by the lake with your best friend. It was a rather secluded spot, but you weren’t hiding, as classes had finished an hour ago. Even the warm breeze playing softly with your hair seemed to urge you; ‘tell, tell, tell!’

For almost six months now, you had been receiving letters. From whom, you couldn’t say, as they were all signed, ‘forever yours, your secret admirer.’

Giving in, even though deep down, you longed to talk about it, and you pulled the most recent letter from your robe.

“No, Lily, of course I don’t know who he is.”

“Or she,” Lily interjected.

“He or she,” you repeated. “I guess I never thought of it being a girl, but I guess it’s possible.”

“So, what did they say?”

You just handed her the paper, too embarrassed to read it aloud. It was already well creased after you read it so many times since it ended up on your desk that morning.

Her eyes lingered over the words every few sentences, her face lighting up in excitement.

“Ooh!” Lily exclaimed, eyes locking with yours. “(y/n)-”

She stopped short at the sound of bushes rustling behind you, tucking the paper treasure under her robes in case someone might see.

You spun around, hoping to Merlin no one saw the letter clearly dotted with hearts. Gray eyes met yours, eyes you immediately recognized as those belonging to Sirius Black.

Oh no.

The Marauders were notorious for their pranks, and while you had been lucky enough never to have experienced them firsthand, the fear that your luck was about to run out enveloped your heart like a thick fog you couldn’t see through.

“Ladies.” A charming smirk played on his lips as he winked, a gesture that seemed to be directed more at you than at Lily. “Mind if I steal (y/n) here away for a bit?”

“Sure, but watch it, Black,” Lily warned before making her way back to the castle. Sirius gave a mock salute in response, one she caught out of the corner of her eye and you saw her roll her eyes.

You were now alone with Sirius Black. Your crush.

Crap.

“So what brings you here, good sir?” you teased. “I must admit, you look suspiciously alone today.”

A look of confusion crossed his face before it was replaced by a flash of panic.

“No, no, no, I’m not here for a prank! Remus is busy being star student and James is looking for Lily. I swear, the day we prank you is the day I throw myself off a cliff.”

The determination in his eyes, as well as his promise, brought a soft smile to your face.

“So, you’re here because you’re bored? Or to keep me busy so James can catch Lily alone?”

“Merlin’s beard, woman, give me a break! I’m here because-” He stopped abruptly, as if to keep himself from saying something that was supposed to remain secret.

“Because?” you prompted, your voice no more than a whisper.

He averted his gaze, looking out over the water instead. A silence fell over the two of you, settling like a warm blanket.

Finally his eyes met yours again, his gaze intense, yet vulnerable at the same time.

“I like you.”

It was so soft, you would have missed it, had it not been for the stillness of your surroundings and the movement of his lips. You must have looked as incredulous as you felt; a small smile tugging at his lips as he repeated his statement.

“I like you, (y/n).”

When you didn’t reply, he cast his eyes downwards, muttering a brief word of apology as he moved to get up. At that moment, your ability to speak finally decided to come back from vacation in Hawaiï, and you grabbed his wrist.

“Wait!”

He watched you expectantly as you let go of his arm and nervously played with your fingers.

“I like you too, Sirius.”

His expression softened as he smiled, light and gentle like the sun’s rays on dewdrops that hadn’t evaporated yet that morning.

“It’s okay, love, I understand. You don’t need to say that to spare my feelings.”

“But I’m not!” you huffed in exasperation. “I really do like you; I swear it’s true. Sirius, have I ever lied to you?”

You swore you could pinpoint the exact moment he reverted to his flirty, confident self, as a cheeky grin appeared on his face.

“So, (y/n), will you go out with me? Yes… or yes?”

You rolled your eyes playfully, giggling at his attempt.

“Yes.”

“Well that’s a relief,” he grinned, sitting down next to you again. “You know, I think I practiced asking you out a good thirty times in the mirror.”

“You practiced asking me out… on yourself?”

He chuckled. “It sounds dumber when you say it that way. But yes, I did, and I must admit, it went quite well.”

“Mmm, I’m sure it did. Did you say yes?”

“Naturally. It’s only logical with such charms as mine.” He flipped his hair over his shoulder dramatically, like a model for a hair commercial.

The same comfortable silence settled over you again as you took in the events of the past half hour. Then his eyes met yours, gray like clouds on a snowy day, and you found yourself unable to look away.

“Can I kiss you?” he blurted out.

“Please do,” you breathed, anticipation bubbling somewhere low in your stomach and spreading throughout your body.

His hand brushed your cheek before coming to cup the back of your head, his other hand pulling you closer by your waist. Then his lips brushed yours, a feather-light touch, as if he were afraid you’d pull away. You gripped his shoulder with one hand, using the other to run your fingers through his hair in an attempt to assure him that you wanted this.

It was like someone flipped a switch in him. He pressed his lips to yours, and you knew if you had been standing, your legs would have buckled out from under you. The kiss wasn’t hungry like you expected it to be; instead it was sweet and loving, like you were the ambrosia of the greek gods, or the air he needed to live.

Suddenly, you knew why girls boasted about being kissed by him, gushing about the details to their friends. It always seemed strange to you; why they bragged about something that was essentially a one-time event, but now you understood. If you were to die today, at least you’d die happy.

The need to breathe finally forced you apart, but it wasn’t strong enough to break the spell that surrounded you. Sirius was still so close he filled your senses; all you could smell was Sirius, all you could hear was Sirius, and all you could feel was Sirius.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he murmured, pulling back so he could look at you as your eyes fluttered open.

“I’ll bet you have,” you grinned, not fully believing him but unwilling to ruin the moment with your doubts.

“It’s true, (y/n), I’ve only ever had eyes for you.”

“You’re serious?”

“Why, yes, I am Sirius,” he joked, but soo, turned serious again. “But I’m also forever yours.”

Forever- what?

“Wait, were you the one to write me all these letters?” Realization hit you as the pieces fell into place, and like the parts of a puzzle, they fit perfectly.

Sirius Black was your secret admirer.

“I’m surprised it took so long.” He was back to his teasing, a grin plastered on his beautiful features. “I almost thought I had to paint a large sign proclaiming-”

“Shut up, Black,” you muttered, shoving him playfully. “You’re so annoying.”

“But you love me anyways.”

Merlin, why did you have to fall for the cockiest prick in the school?

“You’re right, I do.”

His grin grew even wider at that, if that was even possible, and he leaned in to kiss you again.

You let him, because- well, why wouldn’t you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It didn't take long before you grew closer, so close in fact, you were nearly attached at the hip. James often joked he ‘couldn’t tell where Sirius ended and you began’ but he would stop laughing when Remus smacked him upside the head and told him to ‘let them enjoy the beauty of love, Prongs.’

You now sat on Sirius’s bed, reading a book. Your homework was long finished and you were waiting for him to come back for cuddles. Why were you in the boys’ dorm? You were keeping Remus company while the other two were out playing a prank.

They burst through the door soon enough, chattering excitedly and laughing at their poor victim’s reaction. Sirius moved to lie on the bed with you but you stopped him. He tried again and you repeated your previous movement, leaving no space for him.

“Love, is there something I’m missing?”

“Yep.” You grinned cheekily. “You forgot kisses.”

A look of realization crossed his face as he chuckled. “I’ve kissed you so many times already, but I wouldn’t mind another.”

You leaned up to meet him as he captured your lips with his own, despite James’s gagging. You heard him yell in indignation; Remus must have smacked him again.

“Have I earned my seat?” he asked when you separated.

“Definitely.”

Shifting so he could sit behind you, you kissed him on the cheek quickly as he made himself comfortable behind you. His arms came to rest around your waist, pulling you into him. You felt his body warmth through your robes on your back and you snuggled into him.

“What are you reading?”

“A romance story,” you replied, turning the page and angling the book so he could read along, for you knew that while he’d never admit it in order to keep his reputation untarnished, he actually enjoyed reading from time to time.

“You’d think she has enough romance in her life with lover boy there,” James snickered to Remus. You only threw a pillow at him, barely looking up from the captivating story. Judging from his reaction, your aim was spot on, and Sirius muffled his laughter in your neck.

“Sirius, that tickles!” You attempted to squirm away from him, but his grip was too strong.

“Does it, love? How about this?” he asked, now pressing light kisses to your neck. You squealed, swatting him away with your book.

“You’re a prick,” you huffed, pretending to pout when you finally succeeded in putting some distance between you and your ‘attacker.’

Sirius gasped, placing a hand over his heart. “You don’t mean that, now, do you?”

You tried to maintain your composure, you really did. But he was gazing at you with the most adorable, yet pitiful puppy dog eyes, and so, you caved.

“No, I don’t. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart,” he grinned, wrapping his arms around you again.

You then continued reading, his head resting on your shoulder as he followed along. You probably got a bit lost in the story, since before you knew it, the light from the window was dimming.

“You know,” Sirius mused, “I don’t know where I’m going quite yet, but I know I want you here with me.”

“Wait- what? Sirius, you don’t know what the future holds.”

“I know, but I mean it. When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me - is you.”

Sniffling slightly, you turned to face him. “You are so much more romantic than you let on, you know. Shouldn’t you at least warn a girl before you go around being heart-meltingly sweet?”

“A bit late for that, isn’t it?” he hummed, hands running up and down your sides as his gray eyes gazed into yours.

You couldn’t resist anymore; you leaned down to kiss him. The moment your lips met, you were sucked back into this world that consisted only of him, the world you entered every time you kissed him. But what discerned this kiss from all others was the promise it held, the promise of a future, of a happy ending.

And it did; you live happily ever after.

Taglist: @the-moon-and-the-book @decalcomanei

[stormcrawler75]

if it hasn't been done yet (re the bad things happenbingo) could I ask for either amputation or damaged wing(s) with Remus please? I love what you've done with the prompts so far

Warnings: Amputation, hospitals, diseases, talk of surgery.

Characters: Remus, Patton, mentions of Roman, Logan, Virgil, and Janus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hospitals smelt like absolute, sterilized shit.

Remus couldn’t fucking stand hospitals. Just the smell alone made Remus want to stay far away from hospitals for his entire life. Like, Remus got it. The people who worked there saved lives and the world would probably die without them. But Remus really hated hospitals. Maybe the problem was that they didn’t get enough money? Or that usually only shitty things happened at hospitals? Or maybe because of how many times Remus had been in one recently and he had only gotten shitty fucking news?

Whatever. No matter the reason, hospitals were still at the top of Remus’ shit list at the moment.

Plus, the gowns were itchy. Though, that might just be Remus’ opinion. He currently had one tied around in and was lying in a bed, waiting impatiently for the stupid kiddie clock - which was actually pretty cool because it was shaped like an octopus - hung on the opposite wall to hit three o’clock. Remus was so ready for this to be over with so he could go back home. Roman had promised to make whatever he wanted for dinner when Remus came back and Remus was so craving pancakes with cheese sauce.

Remus sighed and glanced over at his Dad, who was sitting next to him and reading a battered old Highlights magazine. “How much longer,” he whined, giving Patton his best pout. “We’ve been waiting here forever!”

“We’ve been waiting here for two hours, Sweetie,” Patton said gently, putting the magazine down on his knee. He glanced at the clock hanging opposite from them. “Well, it looks like you only got about twenty more minutes to go, Hon. Are you nervous?”

The question had been asked so many times by so many people lately that Remus could barely manage a scoff. “Me? Nervous? Nah, not at all! Hey, it’ll be pretty cool, if you think about it!” He forced a gasp and grabbed Patton’s wrist. “Do you think they’ll film it? Could I watch it later!?”

Patton laughed and shook his head fondly. “I don’t think so, Kiddo. But I’ll ask your doctor, okay? But if we do get it then no showing your siblings, okay? Especially don’t let Virgil catch you watching it, he would have nightmares for weeks. He’s already so worried about today.”

Remus’ jaw clenched at the memory of his two-year-old brother sobbing just a few hours ago and trying to cling to Remus’ hand. Virgil hated hospitals just as much as Remus and, unlike Remus, he didn’t have the maturity and wisdom that Remus had to understand why he hated them or remember just how long he had spent there as a baby. “He doesn’t have any reason to worry,” Remus spat, hating the pit of fear that was growing in his gut. “The doctors said that this is the best option for me and even if I’ll have to do therapy and stuff, I should be just fine.”

“Oh, Honey, he’s only a toddler, he doesn’t understand what’s happening,” Patton said gently, taking Remus’ hand and squeezing it. “All he understands is that his big brother is in pain and is going away to a scary place and is going to come back without one of his legs. He’s much too young to know what osteomyelitis is.”

“I’m fourteen and I don’t even fully understand what this stupid disease is,” Remus muttered, crossing his arms. So many people had tried explaining it to him and all Remus fully understood was that some stupid fungi had injected his right leg bone and they had caught it so late that amputation was the only option. “But I know that he shouldn’t be worried. It’ll be fine and he didn’t need to be crying so much. Logan and Roman weren’t crying.”

And, no, Remus wasn’t disappointed that Logan and Roman - old enough to understand what was happening - didn’t cry like Virgil had or looked worried. Not that there was any reason to be worried but it would’ve been nice for them to pretend to be worried!

Patton squeezed his hand again, looking down at him sympathetically. “Trust me, kiddo, they were crying plenty last night. Logan’s been looking up the operation ever since he learnt what you have and Roman is so scared about his twin. They were trying to be strong for you, that’s-”

“But there’s no reason to be worried,” Remus cried, throwing out his arms in frustration. “There isn’t, I’m going to be fine and there’s no reason for anyone to worry!” His eyes were filling with sudden tears and his jaw trembled with the force of keeping them back. “I-I’m gonna come home and annoy everyone a-and t-they don’t need to worry ‘bout me cause I am gonna be f-fine!” He sobbed and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, images of all the things that could go wrong flashing through his mind.

Arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him forward until he was leaning against his dad’s chest. “Shhh, shhhh, you’re okay, you’re going to be okay,” Patton cooed, rubbing a hand up and down Remus’ back. “You’re gonna be fine, kiddo.”

“They’re gonna take my leg,” Remus sobbed, gripping Patton’s shirt so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. “D-don’t let them take my leg, don’t let them, Papa!”

“Oh, Kiddo,” Patton sighed, resting his cheek on the top of Remus’ head and holding him close. “Sweetheart, I wish I could stop them from taking your leg. If I could, I’d take this infection and put it in my own leg so you wouldn’t have to lose yours. But I can’t, Sweetie, and I’m so sorry. And I know this is very scary but I’ll be right outside the room the entire time. And I’m going to buy you the best prosthetic that money can buy, I promise.”

Remus sniffled and he rubbed at his eyes, looking up at Patton sadly. “O-one with some design?”

Patton gave him a wobbly smile and nodded, kissing Remus’ forehead. “I’ll buy you two. A plain one and one with any design that you want on it. We’ll do it together, okay baby?”

“Okay,” Remus sniffled, leaning back against Patton and closing his eyes. “...How long now?”

“...Two minutes.”

Remus’ breath hitched and he fought back the urge to vomit. It’d be hilarious but then they’d have to wait even longer for this surgery to take place. “I’m scared,” he admitted softly. “I’m so scared, Papa.”

“I’ll be right outside the surgery room and I’ll be right there when you wake up,” Patton promised softly, sounding like he was holding back tears. It made Remus want to dig a hole in the ground and cry. He was making his Papa cry. “And as soon as the Doctors say you’re ready, we’ll go home and see your brothers and Uncle Janus, okay?”

Remus sniffled and nodded, wiping away the tears trailing down his cheeks.”Okay,” he whispered. He let out a shaky breath and forced a smile. “It’ll be okay.”

“Remus?” The two of them turned to see a Doctor and a Nurse waiting for them. “We’re ready for you.”

Remus glanced at Patton nervously and got a confident smile in return. “You’ll be okay,” Patton said, looking so sure that he might as well had been saying that the sky was blue. “I’ll be right next to you when you wake up, okay?”

“Okay,” Remus said softly, turning to the Doctor and Nurse. “I’m ready.”

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[hopelikethemoon]

Girl’s Night (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Girl’s Night  Rating: PG-13 Length: 3800 Warnings: Discussions about cancer, abusive parents, toxic family (illusions to racism and homophobia) Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in September 1998. gif by coredrive! If you’ve forgotten what Reader’s backstory is, you can find out more at the link above!  Summary: Reader has a girls night with Connie and Monica.

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You knew something had to be up. The girl’s night had been your idea, but Connie had seized on it without hesitation. Steve and Javier would watch the girls at your house — and play PlayStation — while you and Monica would come get wine drunk at the Murphy’s. 

Connie seemed to be in great spirits for most of the evening. Conversation mostly focused on how the girl’s were doing in school, where you saw your career going, and Connie complaining about working double shifts at the hospital.

And that was when the conversation veered in a different direction. 

Connie topped off her wine glass, only to chug it down like a champ. 

“Uh-oh.” You took a sip of your own wine, before sitting your glass aside. “Connie, what’s wrong?”

Just a week ago, Javier had assured you that things would be fine with them. Whatever their problem was, it wasn’t as serious as Connie feared that it was.

Monica looked warily between the two of you, “Should I be nervous?”

“Probably.” You shot back, before keeping your focus on Connie as she leaned forward, propping her elbows on the table. 

“Steve had a cancer scare.”

“Oh my God.” Monica covered her mouth.

You just stared, “Just a scare?”

She nodded, “It happened months ago. In May!” Connie pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes. “I’m so fucking mad at him I could spit. But I’m relieved. I just can’t believe he wouldn’t tell me.”

“Wait… rewind. When did you find out?”

“Monday.”

“Shit.” You frowned. “I’m gonna kick his ass into 2020.”

Connie laughed bitterly. “He didn’t want to scare me. That was his excuse at first.”

“At first?” Monica frowned. “Why is it such a man thing to hide shit from their partners? I don’t get it.”

“It’s all about their ego,” You explained. “What kind? I mean, Javier and Steve smoked like freight—“

“Testicular.” Connie answered bluntly and Monica choked. “I guess, in May he found a growth on his left testicle and—“

“Please spare me the details.” Monica groaned, sinking back in her chair. “I don’t want to hear about Steve’s testicles.”

You snorted quietly, trying to keep from laughing at Monica’s utterly scandalized expression. “But he didn’t tell you? I mean… that would explain the whole…” You gave Connie a look as you gestured vaguely. 

“Mhm. I’m just so pissed off.” Connie admitted. “He lied about a trip he took back in May. I can’t even believe it. He just lied! He went to Tampa to see a doctor outside of my hospital network so I wouldn’t… I don’t know. I don’t get his logic.”

“He’s a man. Don’t expect logic.” Monica pointed out. 

“She’s not wrong.” You shrugged. “But, holy shit. Why wouldn’t he just tell you?”

“My mother.”

Oh. Shit. 

Connie’s voice grew quieter, her eyes shining with tears. “After all of my struggles with pregnancy, after all the tests, the infertility treatments, after everything — she still blames Steve.” She lowered her gaze, quickly wiping a tear away. “And with her being with us most of the summer, Steve just… I guess, In his defense, he was afraid this would give her ammo.” 

“Connie, sweetie…” You rose from your seat and moved around the table to sit beside her. You wrapped your arms around her and pulled her to you, rubbing her back. 

“He lied. To my face. For months.” Connie mumbled, her voice muffled as she covered her face. “That’s why he couldn’t get it up. All summer, all my attempts to initiate and he was so stressed about lying that he couldn’t even perform.”

“I’m going to grab…” Monica looked around nervously. “Chips? Salsa? Something other than this conversation?”

Connie laughed, “I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t apologize.” Monica made a face. “I’m just gonna go sit and watch TV until this conversation is over.”

“I’ll call you when it’s over.” You assured her as Connie pulled back, sniffling and wiping tears away. “Did Steve tell you all of this on his own or…?”

“It was horrible.” Connie told you gravely. “I took your advice, I bought this really cute black teddy. I made us dinner, the girls were out of the house.”

“Fuck.” You grimaced, “Connie, I’m so…”

“Don’t.” She shook her head. “It made him finally admit to everything. Full-on nervous breakdown. I guess he hated how things had been because of this secret. It was bad. It was good. He cried, which… I haven’t seen him do in years.”

“Are you… I mean, are you guys okay or…” You almost didn’t want to know. Steve and Connie were such an ever present force in your lives. They had always had their rocky moments, but at the end of the day they always managed to find solid ground.

“I asked him to sleep in the guest room.” Connie admitted to you, pulling herself out of your embrace as she reached for the wine bottle and poured herself another glass.

“Do you mind telling me what happened?” You questioned lightly, reaching across the table to grab your discarded glass of wine, taking a short sip of the drink. 

Connie inhaled shakily, “Well… I had Monday night off so I arranged for the neighbours to watch the girls for us. Admittedly, Steve was a little anxious during dinner. In hindsight, I realize that he might’ve been… I think he was planning on telling me already.” She frowned, rubbing her thumb over the crease between her brows as she stared down at her wine glass. 

“I had no idea. If I had known the truth was something like this, I would not have encouraged you to try to romance him.” You wondered if Javier had known what was going on. He had to. He’d been so certain that things would be fine, so long as Steve talked to her. 

“It’s… probably for the best.” Connie shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, don’t get me wrong… I’m relieved that he doesn’t have cancer, but the way he went about it. I’ve never been so pissed at him.” 

“Not to play devil’s advocate, but…” You pursed your lips. “I know how much Steve hates your mother. I mean, I know it’s a mutual emotion, but… Can you really blame him for wanting to keep it quiet? Not for months, that’s… shitty. But you weren’t going to kick your mother out.” 

You knew both sides of the story of Connie’s mother — Ethel Gibson. You had met her a handful of times since moving to Miami and the picture Steve and Connie had painted hadn’t been far off the reality. She was a fiery woman, daughter of Irish immigrants, and forged by the coal mines of Appalachia. She was one of twelve children, mother to nine, and devoutly religious. She deeply resented Steve because he whisked Connie off the mountain without marrying her first. In fact, they hadn’t married until they moved to Miami after they’d both completed college. 

And in all those years, Ethel would’ve been fine with their sinful lifestyle, if Connie had only given her a grandchild. Just one. 

Last year, when Ethel came to visit, Connie had called you tears because her mother had cruelly told her that God had cursed them for living in sin for so many years. That they would never have real children because they had done everything wrong. 

Despite how toxic her mother was, Connie hadn’t quite figured out how to sever that connection. Ethel was useful during the summer, when everyone was working. But she was a hateful old hag. 

Connie swept another tear off her cheek as she turned to look at her, “I just can’t believe the lengths he went to hide this. A fake business trip, going outside of our insurance, and then months of making me feel like something was wrong.”

“Want me to kick his ass? Cause I will.” You smiled a little at her. “I mean, he did try to take care of your needs — right?”

She nodded her head slowly, “I do get it.” Connie chewed on her bottom lip as she ran her finger around the rim of her wine glass. “I just hate how he went about this. I could’ve been there for him. I mean how would you feel if Javier pulled this shit?”

“There would be a surreptitious rose bush in the backyard.” You answered without hesitation. “Maybe a new concrete patio.”

“Exactly!” Connie shook her head then. “I don’t want to stay mad at him. I really do get why he did it. If my mother caught wind that he had something wrong with his testicles, it would just further fuel her hatred for him. It would be his fault that I’m… barren.”

You reached over and squeezed her hand. “You’re an amazing mother to two little girls who think the world of you, Connie. Olivia and Emily love you both, no differently than my girls love us.” 

“I know. I know.” She squeezes your hand back. “I can’t believe I let her convince me that Steve was cheating! And the reality was that he just couldn’t get it up because he had been lying to me.”

“I think you should let him out of the doghouse. Maybe not tonight since you are teetering on the edge of being white girl wasted when he gets home.” You sat the bottle of wine of her reach. “But I think he punished himself all summer.”

“I agree.” Connie gave you a look. “He said Javier was pretty pissed off at him for how he handled things.”

“Javier knew?” You glowered. “I guess the boys are allowed to keep some secrets.” That was going to be a discussion you had with Javier when you got home. 

Connie wiped at her eyes again, sinking back into her chair with a heavy sigh. “I spent all summer thinking something was wrong with me. All summer! I just couldn’t figure out why everything felt fine, but he… It’s so stupid. I’m so pissed off that he put me through this, but equally pissed that I get it.” 

“I know this isn’t an easy conversation to have,” You started cautiously, chewing on your thumbnail as you stared at Connie. “But I think it might be time to cut your mother off.” 

Connie started to cry again and your heart clenched as you watched her break down beside you. 

“Alright, come on. Get up. We’re gonna go into the family room with Monica and have this conversation.” You urged, giving her arm a squeeze as you encouraged her to get up out of her chair. “No more wine.” 

“You’re no fun.” 

“I get it from Javi.” You shot back, guiding Connie into the family room. 

“Are we done talking about Steve’s balls?” Monica questioned, brows drawn together as she met your eyes. “Shit, Connie. Are you okay?”

“Some tough love is about to happen.” You told her flatly as Connie sat down in the middle of the sofa, you and Monica on either side. 

Monica scooted closer and gave Connie’s shoulder a squeeze, “Do I need to get the wine?” 

“No,” Connie shook her head. “No, she was right. I need to stop. Getting drunk isn’t going… It’s just hard.”

You tucked your legs beneath you, turning on the sofa to face Connie. “I know.” You rubbed your lips together as you mulled over what the right words to say were. Turning your back on a parent was difficult — no matter how terrible they were. But sometimes, it had to be done. Especially when it’s a detriment to your own wellbeing. Or, in this case, your relationship. It was time to cut the ties. “How long have you and Steve been together?”

Connie brought her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as she rested her chin on her knees. “Twenty-two years.” 

“In those twenty-two years, has Ethel ever said anything kind towards her son-in-law?”

She shook her head, “Unless you consider the handful of times she’s complimented him on his hair cut.”

“Well, that’s weird.” Monica laughed. “Is that the only nice thing she has to say?”

Connie rolled her eyes, “Most likely. She’s never liked him.” 

“We could always start a girl gang of women who hate their parents.” Monica suggested, which made Connie laugh. “I’m serious. Nadia makes these really cool pins.” She leaned over the side of the sofa, grabbing her jean jacket and showing off the pins on her lapel. 

“I might just take you up on that.” Connie quipped, before she leaned against you with a dramatic sigh. “I can’t believe Steve felt like he needed to hide a cancer prognosis, out of fear of my mother. If he had just told me… I would’ve stood by him. I wouldn’t have let her use it.” 

“It doesn’t matter.” Monica pointed out, “Even if you stand up to them, they’re not going to change. They’ll always find a way to cut you down.” She shook her head slowly, “My parents always suspected I was queer. It’s why they hit me. But when I was in high school, I convinced a friend of mine — he was so nice — to date me. Just to try to control the situation.” She wrapped her arms around her waist, lips drawn thin as she spoke. “But that wasn’t good enough for them. He wasn’t good for me. He wasn’t who they wanted me with. It was all about control.” 

“You know my history,” You told Connie with a heavy sigh. “If I hadn’t cut her off, I wouldn’t be where I am today.” 

Connie nodded her head, “You’re both right.” She wiped at her cheeks, exhaling shakily. “She never wanted me to leave the hollow. She wanted me to live the same life she did. In a tiny house, married to some coal miner or a long-distance truck driver. Miserable and bitter like her.” 

“She wanted to control you.” Monica stated. 

“She acted like she was going to die when I told her I was leaving with Steve,” Connie recalled. “He got into college — just on the other side of the mountain. Less than a day’s drive in good weather. We’d only been dating for a couple months, but he knew I hated it there. I felt like shit for weeks because my mother acted like she was just going to lay down and die because I’d betrayed her. But I wanted more. I wanted to go to school for nursing. I wanted to live in a real town and not the side of a mountain. She’s never forgiven me for that.” 

“I’ll punch her in the face if you want me to.” You remarked with a short laugh. “I’ve been wanting to since she made you cry last year. She’s a bitch and frankly, we both know what her real issue is with the girls.”

Monica gave you a look, “It was painfully obvious.” 

“And look, you don’t have to make it a big deal.” You reminded Connie. “You keep contact limited. You can send Christmas cards and birthday cards — but you don’t make time to call her. You don’t welcome her into your home and you don’t visit her. If you want another twenty-two years with Steve, that’s just how it’s going to have to be.”

“I know.”  She sank back against the sofa, looking up at the ceiling. “I hate this. I really do. She has always been a thorn in the side of our marriage the entire time. I feel so bad for Steve. He’s never said a mean thing to her or about her.” 

“Steve’s a saint, but he’s not off the hook for lying to you.” You reminded her. “But go easy on him. He didn’t do it maliciously.” 

“I think… I’m going to call him.” Connie scooted to the edge of the sofa. “Are you both good to go home?”

“I just have to call a cab.” 

Monica checked her watch, “Nadia can be here in like fifteen to pick me up.” 

“Thank you both.” Connie slung her arms around both of you, pulling you towards her. “I really needed this. I really needed this.” 

“I’m just glad you and Steve are going to be okay.”

She nodded, “And we will be. We will.” 

You felt terrible for them. But relationships had ups and downs. It was just important that you came out on the ups, rather than the downs. 

———

 “So you knew about Steve’s balls.” You stated as you rolled onto your side towards Javier. The bedroom was dark, but you could almost imagine his expression just from the huff he let out. “Well?”

“Interesting choice of pillow talk.” Javier remarked as he rolled onto his back, reaching out beneath the covers to grab your leg. He gave it a squeeze, sighing heavily. “Yeah, he told me at the bar last week.”

“So you just found out.” 

“Yeah.” He rubbed his thumb over your skin. “I hear he’s sleeping in the guest room. I told him he fucked up. Lying to her for how many months?”

You reached down and rested your hand over his, “I think she’ll let him back in her bed tonight. We talked it through.” 

“And the prognosis?”

“He fucked up by lying, but she recognized that he was just trying to keep the peace.” 

“He’s scared shitless, baby.” Javier told you. “I’ve never seen him so on edge before. She blew up Monday night.” 

“Well, she didn’t know what she was in for. She cooked dinner, bought a fancy teddy, and…”

“He regrets the ‘I need to talk’ shit he pulled.” 

“He should!” You shook your head, squeezing his hand. “He is such a sweetheart, but he’s as smart as a box of rocks sometimes.” 

Javier chuckled, “What can you expect? He shoots skeet. For fun.” 

You snorted, “He’s deeply flawed.” 

“You think they’re gonna figure things out?”

“I hope so.” You shifted closer to him, draping your arm over his chest as you rested your cheek on his shoulder. “She’s gonna cut off her mom.” 

“Fuck Ethel.” 

“Seriously.” You curled your leg around his, resting it in between his thighs. Trying to get closer to him. “I feel bad for both of them, honestly. I understand why Steve did what he did, but… He shouldn’t have left Connie in the dark for so long.”

“I don’t think he planned to,” Javier admitted, running his hand over your forearm. “For what it’s worth, Steve told me he had planned to tell her once he found out whether he had cancer or not. One of the girls got sick — remember the stomach flu that went around? Connie was stressed, he’d just come back from his trip, and he put it off. Then Ethel came and…”

“Now it’s September.” You added, lifting your hand up to cup his cheek. “If you ever think you’re sick… please tell me.” 

Javier tilted his head and brushed his lips against yours. “I’d want you right there beside me, baby. I don’t know how Steve managed to get himself up to Tampa and let them remove his whole fucking testicle.” 

“They removed the whole thing?” You gaped at that. “Connie acted like it was just a biopsy. Holy shit, no wonder he hasn’t wanted to have sex!” 

“Yeah, it’s a whole… thing.” Javier snorted. “I’ve heard more about Murphy’s balls than I ever wanted to.”

“Monica was scandalized by our discussion on Steve’s balls.” 

“That poor child.” Javier chuckled. “Did she have fun?”

“She bragged about how excited she was for your Social Policy Analysis class.” 

“I think she’s the only one excited about it,” He sounded quite pleased with that. “Everyone else was grumbling about having to turn in a two-hundred page policy.” 

“That class is only going to be fun because of me.” You pointed out. “Which one of us secured City Hall for your class?” You couldn’t wait to hear Monica get up at a council meeting and argue for her policy reform. 

Javier snorted, “When are you gonna start teaching yourself, baby?”

You traced your finger over his nose in the darkness, “Next semester.” 

“Wait, really?”

“I haven’t turned anything in yet, but… I think I’m going to do it. Honestly, I miss working with you.” You admitted. “I’ll still help Steve, as promised… But, I���ve had so much fun helping you with the Policy class.” 

Javier curled his arm around you and pulled you into his chest as he rolled onto his side. “Best fucking news I’ve had all week.” 

You laughed quietly, nuzzling into his throat. “I thought you’d be happy about it.” 

“My office is plenty big enough for you to set up your own desk in there.” 

“I can’t sit on your lap?” You laughed as you pressed kisses along his neck. “Damn.” 

He gave your ass a playfully squeeze, “Only when the door’s shut.” 

You were seconds away from sliding your hand down between your bodies when you heard the creak of your bedroom door and the quietest little voice whispering. 

“Mommy? Daddy?”

Javier sighed quietly as he released his hold on you, rolling over and turning the bedside light on. “Hey, princesa. What’s up?”

“I had a nightmare.” Josie said quietly, rubbing at her eyes.

“Well, what are you doing over here?” You questioned, “Come here, baby girl. Get in bed with us.” 

Josie didn’t need to be told twice, she pushed the bedroom door shut behind her and bounded her way onto the bed with you. Javier picked her up, despite his bad shoulder, tossing her up in the air a little before settling her down on the bed between the two of you. 

“What was the bad dream, sweetheart?” He questioned. 

“I was all alone!” Josie said, quite dramatically, clinging to your hand. “It was dark and scary… And there were these creepy sounds and… a witch cackling!” 

“Did you leave your Halloween sounds cassette on?”

“Maybe.” Josie said innocently. 

“Babydoll, you can’t listen to those at night.” 

“Uncle Steve wanted to hear them before he left! He thought they were funny.”

You rolled your eyes, “Then we’ll just have to bill Uncle Steve for the nightmare tax.” 

“The nightmare tax?” Josie questioned, wide-eyed as she looked up at her father. 

Javier nodded his head, “The nightmare tax. Now Uncle Steve will have the nightmares and you won’t.” 

“I bet he’s having nightmares tonight.” You interjected with a wry laugh. 

“Oh.” Josie hummed thoughtfully. “So I won’t have anymore bad dreams?”

“Well, surely not with your big strong daddy here to scare away the bad dream monsters.” You remarked, reaching around behind Josie’s head so you could play your fingers through Javier’s hair. “We’ve got you kiddo, don’t worry.” 

“I love you mommy.” Josie said, rolling over and clinging to you.

You wrapped your arm around her and kissed the top of her head. “I’ve got you, babydoll.” 

“Lights out?”

“Lights out!” Josie cheered.

Javier shut off the light, rolling onto his side and draping his arm across Josie and you. He curled his hand around your hip, his thumb rubbing a small circle there. “Good night.” He whispered in the darkness. 

“Nighty-night daddy.” 

[swiss-cheeze]

(The Candyman Can) Rainbow Connection || Spencer Reid

Request: YES/NO // a part 2 was requested but I was going to do a part 2 anyway so, yeah. (@l0ve-0f-my-life)

Gender: none, they/them // I don’t believe there is any description, I tried to keep it nonchalant, the Sunflower song may be slightly suggestive because it’s sung by a female and have the aspects of femininity but overall is a non-gender affirming song.

Warnings: uhhh, slow burn, awkwardness? I honestly don’t know SEASON 8 SPOILERS, very long; seven pages on google doc lmao

Description: ten months after Maeves death you’re still singing for Spencer to help him cope, what happens when Garcia’s Dia De Muertos party brings to light your feelings?

Part 1: https://snitchthewitch.tumblr.com/post/621248749527760896/the-candyman-can-spencer-reid

Songs used:

It’s My Life - Bon Jovi

Hey There Delilah - Plain White T’s

Sunflower - Sierra Burgess

Rainbow Connection - The Muppets

———

Ten months.

It had been ten months since Maeve had left, ten months since a part of Spencer felt broken, crumpled and gone.

Ten months since you entered his life in a different way then he would ever think.

After your singing sessions things started to look better, brighter, lighter and happier.

Currently yourself and Spencer were jamming out in his apartment to It's My Life.

“It's my life! And it's now or never!” you screamed and jumped on the couch, Spencer followed you with a laugh and shouted at the top of his lungs.

“'Cause I ain't gonna live forever, I just want to live while I'm alive” Spencer sang, you grinned as you hoped down from the couch, grabbed his hands and started dancing.

“My heart is like an open highway, like Frankie said, ‘i did it my way’!” you grinned as Spencer spun you around and stepped onto the coffee table.

“I just want to live while I'm alive,” Spencer sang as you hopped up and onto the table next to the Doctor.

“ITS, MY, LIFE!” you exclaimed together and posed on the table as if there was a crowd gathered and you had just danced your hearts out; which you did. Your breathing was heavy as you let out a large laugh and jogged over to the CD player to turn it down as the next song came on from your playlist, going from a room shattering volume to a whisper.

“Drink?” Spencer asked with heavy breaths as he pointed to the kitchen, you nodded as you held your back and sat on the couch, Spencer came back a moment later with two glasses of water and handed one to you as you sat in the blissful aftermath of a singing and dance off.

“Are you going to Garcias Day of the Dead party?” you asked after a moment, it wasn't very risky to ask but it was still touchy as you both knew the background to the question. Spencer nodded.

“Yeah, yeah I am, I'm meant to be helping her with groceries sometime, she said she’d message me when she was ready” Spencer smiled as he placed the empty cup on the table and laid back against the couch cushions, “who are you bringing?” Spencer hesitantly asked as you grinned.

“I can't tell you that Spence, it's cheating” you shook your head before putting your cup down on the table and opening your phone to look at the time; you were meant to be home 10 minutes ago, “shit, sorry Spence i gotta head,” you said as you quickly gathered your belongings.

“Do you have to leave?” Spencer asked, he sounded so sad that you needed to leave, you bit your lip as you opened the door.

“I’m sorry Spence, i do, i've um…” should you tell him? “I've got a date,” you said with a tight lipped smile. Spencer hoped his face didn't convey the emotions he felt and hoped you didn't notice his change in demeanor.

“Oh, yeah of course,” Spencer said tightly, “you head ill...ill clean up here,”

“Thanks Spence, i'll see you at work!” you said with a grin and waved the Doctor a goodbye. The retreating of your footsteps seemed to echo in the surrounding walls of Spencer's apartment and his mind, your smile was flashing in his and out of his head a thousand times over in bright flashes as the room suddenly felt rather lonely and cold without your presence in it anymore. Spencer looked around the room as he felt his shoulders sag, emotions came back to him as well as memories of Maeve, Tobias, Nathan and multiple other people who impacted his life in some way, in a way of his work and in a way that's personal.

Alex.

Of course!

Spencer scrambled for his phone and clicked on Blake's personal cell number. It rang three times before the woman's voice floated through.

“Ried? Is everything okay?” the worry in Blake's voice floated through the speakers as Spencer took a breath.

“I…” Spencer sighed softly and sniffled, god was he going to cry again? “I think im in love...again”

“Oh Spence,”

---

You smiled tightly as your date talked about...what was he talking about again?

“And that's how I found out my family was a part of the mafia group in the nineteen hundreds!” the date exclaimed, oh god had you forgotten his name already?

“Thats,” you gave a fake laugh as real as you could, “that's amazing Matt!” you said with a clap of your hands.

“My name’s Michael…” your date reminded you, you sighed and put your head in your hands with a groan.

“I'm sorry-”

“No it's...I can tell your head is somewhere else,” your date said with a smile, “did you want to talk about it?” he asked, you bit your lip before responding.

“One of my coworkers…” should you be telling a story that isn't yours to tell? “One of my coworkers lost someone close to them ten months ago,” you started the story, you can't stop now, “and to be a good friend I started to sing for him!” you said happily, using your hands to talk, “i started singing for him because it made me happy when i was a child and i thought it would cheer him up as well, in the end it did and it helped him get better and obviously he is better but...that was ten months ago,” you sighed, “Micheal it was ten months ago that he lost what could possibly be his only love and here i am...in love with him,”

“Oh doll,” Micheal said softly as he put his hand on top of yours, “what do you mean his only love?” the man asked, “just so i can get a better understanding and idea of the situation,” he smiled politely.

“Hes...he has an eidetic memory, can read 20,000 words a minute, he has 3 PhDs and 3 Bachelors, he doesn't get along well with women in the romance scene a lot of the time but he's just...he's just so smart and he's so lovely and kind and works well with everyone,” you took a breath as you wiped a tear from your eye you didn't realise had leaked, “he puts himself on the line all the time; he’s been shot in the knee, shot in the shoulder, he got kidnapped and drugged, poisoned with a worse strain of Anthrax then actual anthrax, he's such a good hostage speaker, he delves into every case with everything he has as if its his last which it could possibly be, he helped a young boy, Nathan Harris, when he believed he was going to become a serial killer an-”

“Woah woah woah baby slow down,” Micheal said as he looked to you, “you’re getting so worked up over this boy, i mean, he's just a boy,” Micheal said with a grin, “you sing for him don't you?”

“Yeah I do,” you absentmindedly smiled, “it's amazing, just today we sung It’s My Life before I came here,” you said with a large grin, the memory still fresh.

“Okay so, how about, instead, you lean it to more romantic songs? Slowly give him hints and open up to him more?” Micheal questioned, you never actually thought of that but as you mulled it over it sounded a lot better than any other plan you would have had brewed anway. You nodded.

“Thats...thats really good Micheal,” you said with a grin, “thank you,”

“It’s alright; if i can't be the one then i'll help you with him,” Micheal said with a joking grin. You ended the night with the waitress coming over to take your plates as you asked for the bill, split it, giving a lovely tip and Micheal driving you home. He planted a kiss on your cheek before handing you his number on a napkin, “for whenever and whatever you want or need,” he had said, you gave him a kiss on the cheek and a thank you before retreating into your house and mulling over the next few songs to sing for Spencer whenever he wanted.

---

A few days passed after your date and Spencers emotional outburst to Blake (which she kept to herself and Spencer of course), you had been given a case and hadn't had time to sing to Spencer; you could tell this was taking a little toll on the poor doctor as he became distracted easily as well as the far off gaze he had on his face a lot of the time now, however, the plane had just landed back in DC.

“Spence!” you called for the doctor, he turned for a moment and slowed his walking for you to catch up, “did you want me to call tonight?” you asked with a grin.

“Yes please (Y/n),” the doctor said, he seemed sad but also desperate.

“Are you alright?” you questioned as you stopped the doctor with your hand on his arm, “i'm here for you,”

“I’ll be alright after tonight (Y/n), it's okay,” and without another word Spencer left you, spoke to Hotch for a second and then headed out the door.

“Are you two okay?” Blake asked as she came up next to you.

“I think so, I think it’s just because we haven't had a lot of time recently for our normal sessions,” you said with a tight smile.

“He misses you (Y/n),” Blake said, “a lot more than you know,” the two of you dropped the subject pretty quickly after that as you walked to the parking lots and headed home, the road seemed to go in a blur as you drove, forming colours and paint strokes against the harsh greys of the DC city buildings.

---

Another few days passed and your singing sessions went back to normal, except this time you added more romantic songs, adding a more soft tone or even adding your uke like one of the first times you sang for Spencer, and right now you were finishing off Hey There Delilah.

“Hey there, Spencer,” you had changed the lyrics for the last ‘hey there’, you heard Spencer give off a little breathy laugh, “You be good, and don't you miss me, two more years and you'll be done with school,” you couldn't help but laugh slightly at the school part seeing as Spencer had...well you know what he’s got, “And I'll be makin' history like I do. You know it's all because of you…” you trailed the end of your sentence off slightly, “We can do whatever we want to…” you sighed softly, “hey there, Spencer, here’s to you,” you trailed off again as you felt tears well in your eyes as you spoke the last words instead of singing them, “This one's for you” and with that the song ended and you smiled into the phone, Spencer clapped loudly into the phone’s speaker.

“That was beautiful (Y/n)!” the doctor exclaimed with a smile, “I haven't heard that song before,” you laughed, of course he hadn't heard the song before.

“It's a classic but not the type of classic you know of,” you said with a smile as you heard Spencer laugh along with you too, “I’m sorry Spence but i have to get to bed,” you sounded so sad.

“Right, of course,” Spencer said as he finally glanced at the clock, god it was past 12 already? You'd been on a call together since 10, “goodnight (Y/n), i'll see you at Garcias tomorrow?” Spencer asked, shit. You'd forgotten about tomorrow completely.

“Y-yeah of course! I'll be there don't worry,” you smiled into the phone, “goodnight Spence” and with that you hung up the phone and got ready for bed. Spencer did the same in his apartment.

---

You smiled sweetly at Spencer as he placed Maeve's photo on the altar as everyone gave him a sympathetic look and then another person's photo.

“This is uh, Nikola Tesla,” he said, you couldn't help but smile, “i just hope he's still having fun inventing things wherever he is” Spencer said with the little smile and laugh he does every now and then as he stepped back from the alter; allowing you to place your photo. You gulped as you fiddled with the photographic paper.

“This uh,” you started, nobody actually knew who this was, you sniffled as Garcia held you hand and you smiled to her as thanks for the reassurance, you cleared your throat, “this is Gene Wilder,” you grinned as Spencer chuckled softly, of course it was him, “i don't uh, i don't really have any family that i'm close to that has passed but, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has always been my childhood, it was always close to my heart and when the movie came out i fell in love with it even more and the more i watched it the more i felt Gene Wilder become apart of me, my family and my life.” you took a breath as you placed the photo onto the altar, it was of his iconic Willy Wonka pose, “of course he has become a meme icon,” you laughed as everyone did too, “but i know for a fact he looks at everyone from wherever he is and he looks at them with such passion and love and admiration for whatever they're doing and i know he fills me with hope and confidence whenever i need it” you smiled as you finished and stepped back and the line continued.

You all gave your thanks, gave a blessing or a prayer depending on who it was, sent your respects and then went your way with drinks and conversations and music. Spencer smiled as he came up to you when Hotch walked away, your conversation about Henry becoming dwindled as the food looked more appetizing to Hotch.

“Hey,” Spencer said with a little wave as he held a cup of...cordial?

“Are you really drinking cordial Spencer?” you asked with a laugh as Spencer nodded.

“Believe it or not cordial is a lot healthier than wine,” Spencer spoke with a laugh as he stated the obvious, you smiled as well but it was tight, “are you okay?” you nodded.

“Yeah i'll be alright,” you said quietly, where was this sad emotion suddenly coming from?

“Considering the circumstances it's okay to be sad (Y/n)” Spencer commented as he saw your saddened expression but before he could say anything else you put on a fake smile.

“Spence i promise, im okay” you said with fake confidence, “promise” you held out your hand for the doctor and took his warm palm in his, you could tell Spencer didn't believe you but nodded anyway, but your whole demeanor changed as soon as the song did and you grinned, “dance with me Spencer?” you asked as you set down your wine and dragged the poor doctor to the ‘dance floor’.

“N-no i'm not really- i haven't ever-” Spencer stuttered but with your glowing smile and laugh he found himself not finding the words to excuse himself before nodding and placing his drink down on the nearest surface. You brought the doctor close to your body and rested your head in his neck as his arms wrapped around your waist hesitantly and yours wrapped around his neck, you danced in a slow circle as the rest of the team gave suggestive glances to each other.

“Rose girls in glass vases, perfect bodies, perfect faces, they all belong in magazines” your voice floated through the air softly and Spencers voice hitched, “Those girls the boys are chasing, winning all the games they're playing, they're always in a different league” you continued to sing and sway with Spencer, his grip tightened on you as he buried his face into your hair as Hotch pulled Alex in for a dance, Rossi with J.J. and Derek and Garcia all walked to the dance floor; slow dancing and holding one another softly as your voice continued, “Stretching toward the sky like I don't care, wishing you could see me standing there” god was that directed to Spencer? It was, wasn't it? Spencer bit his lip at the thought as he continued swaying as he looked up for a second and saw everyone else slow dancing, a smile gracing his lips as your voice flowed through the air again, “But I'm a sunflower, a little funny, If I were a rose, maybe you'd want me” your voice wavered as you buried your face into Spencers neck, “If I could, I'd change overnight, I'd turn into something you'd like but i'm a,” your voice came out a little stronger now as you looked up and saw your co-workers now switching dance partners; Rossi with Hotch (which made you laugh a little), J.J. and Derek, and Alex with Garcia, “sunflower, a little funny, if I were a rose, maybe you'd pick me” your voice sighed at the end as you broke away from Spencers neck to look at the beautiful man in front of you, wording the lyrics to him, “But I know you don't have a clue, this sunflower's waiting for you,” both of you leant in as your eyes darted to Spencers mouth, his eyes doing the same to yours as he licked his lips without realisation, “Waiting for you” with your mouths inches apart and your eyelids slowly closing, you could feel Spencers breath fanning over your lips...almost...almost…

“(Y/n) that's a beautiful voice you have!” Alex exclaimed, the song continued in the background as yourself and Spencer jumped away from each other, smiling awkwardly as you wiped your sweaty palms on your hips and thighs. Your teammates all broke away from each other; Blake must have been the only one to see and realise what was going to happen, you looked to Alex with a mix of emotions including anger and appreciation; anger because she stopped you and Spencer from kissing, appreciation because she stopped you and Spencer kissing in front of the others.

“Thanks…” you smiled as you scratched the back of your head with an awkward smile, “well i gotta start heading!” you exclaimed suddenly, the crushing feeling in your chest getting too much for you to stay.

“Ohhh what what what?” Garcia asked as she came forward, “oh come on i can get the blow up mattress, we can all sleep here, take tomorrow off; Hotch we can take tomorrow off can't we?” Garcia suddenly exclaimed, you all smiled as did Hotch but he didn't say a word; Garcia was tipsy, if not already drunk.

“It’s okay Penelopie really,” you said with a smile as you walked to the girl and hugged her close, “i'll see you guys tomorrow though,” you smiled as you hugged everyone, of course Spencer being the last.

“I’ll drive you home,” Spencer said quickly as he picked up your coat as well as his, you stuttered as Spencer opened Garcia's door but decided against it; instead blushing and thanking Spencer as the two of you walked out of the apartment building and to Spencers old timey wimey car.

“Think those two will realise?” Derek said off-handedly with a knowing grin.

“They’re profilers, they'll figure it out,” Rossi said with a grin.

-------

Yourself and Spencer had already discussed you would sleepover at his house in case you got drunk or tipsy off of wine, that and the fact you used public transport to get to Garcias rather than a car and Spencer didn't want you to go onto the tubes at this time at night.

“No, Spence, I already told you I'm not taking your bed!” you exclaimed with a laugh as you got a drink from Spencer's kitchen.

“(Y/n) please, my couch is complete rubbish and i know!” Spencer exclaimed from his bedroom where he was getting dressed in. You scoffed jokingly.

“Oh yeah Spencer, you've slept on your couch you germaphobe” you said with a smile as you walked to Spencer's bedroom.

“I did! When…” as you entered the bedroom the air turned cold as Spencers smile fell, you looked at him from across the room in all of his shirtless-and-low-hanging-pyjama-pants glory, he cleared his throat, “when Maeve…” he choked as his sentence drained off the way it does when Spencer is emotional and about to cry.

“Oh, Spence im...im sorry i didn't think,” you said softly, you stayed in the doorway unsure of what to do. Spencer cleared his throat as he threw his side of the covers back and started to get into the bed.

“Please?” Spencer questioned, you knew what he wanted as he bunched the sheets at his waist and played with his fingers while looking at the covers, you nodded. Whether Spencer saw you nod or not you weren't sure but you went through the same motions as you would when going to bed; brushed your teeth in Spencer's connected bathroom, tugged off your work clothes, put on your pyjamas as Spencer waited patiently in the bed, unmoving. Your feet padded on the floor as you brought back the covers on the other side of Spencer and sat on the bed next to him, the covers bunched up around your waist as you waited, waited for Spencer to lay down, hold your hand, something.

And then he did.

“Spencer i know-”

“Can you sing for me?” Spencer suddenly asked, his voice on the verge of breaking as he looked to you with teary eyes, you nodded quickly and began to smile.

“Yeah, yeah of course i can Spencer,” you said quickly, “did you want to get under the covers?” you asked softly, Spencer nodded and sniffled softly as the two of you maneuvered to lay down. You laid on your back as Spencer clutched onto you, his head rested on your chest as your arm wrapped around his back and to his shoulder, “what do we want tonight?” you asked in a soft voice into Spencer's hair.

“Anything, anything happy,” Spencer mumbled into your chest, you nodded and thought for a moment.

“Why are there so many, songs about rainbows, and what's on the other side” you started to sing, Spencer doesn't know the muppets very well but he has heard this song play in your headphone while on the jet home after a tough case once or twice, this was the second song you used to calm yourself down next to The Candy Man, “Rainbows are visions, they're only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide” your voice was soft and filtered through the air as Spencer closed his eyes, envisioning himself in a wonderful forest, just like Kermit the frog with you by his side, your uke in your arms, the cords coming through seamlessly, “So we've been told and some chose to believe it, but I know they're wrong wait and see” you squeezed Spencer softly as you started on the chorus, “Someday we'll find it, The Rainbow Connection” you tilted Spencers chin up from your chest and moved back from Spencer a little so he wasn't arched weirdly nor where you bent weirdly, “The lovers,” you pointed a finger into your own chest, “the dreamers,” you pointed a finger into Spencers chest as he smiled softly, his tears dripping into the creases of his smile, “and me” you cuddled back into Spencer as his arms tightly wrapped around you again.

“Who said that every wish,” Spencer's soft voice filtered in the air, you smiled and hummed the instrumentals, “Would be heard and answered, when wished on the morning star” you smiled and kissed Spencer's head again and joined in with singing.

“Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it, look what it’s done so far” you shrugged jokingly as if the ‘look what it's done so far’ was someone really saying it, a soft chuckle came from Spencer, “What's so amazing,” you shrugged again as you looked to Spencer, “that keeps us stargazing, what do we think we might see?” you brought your unwrapped arm up towards the ceiling and cupped it around as if you were cupping Spencers chin, “Someday we’ll find it,” you looked back down to Spencer as your arm came down as well, “The Rainbow Connection,” you cupped Spencers cheek as you moved forward, Spencer doing the same as he looked down to your lips like he did at Garcias before gliding back up to your eyes, “The lovers,” you cocked a small smile as the lyrics came out in a whisper, “The dreamers,” you tapped Spencer cheek softly as the gap finally closed and your lips pressed against Spencers for a short moment before you both pulled back slowly, “And me”

[missdawnandherdusk]

Life Update

It’s me, your humble author, here for a little update. 

My last fic seemed to hit hard with some of you, whether it was empathetic or sympathetic, I’ve seen your responses to it. And I know that some of you are concerned, and I love that I mean so much to you that you’re willing to reach out. It’s a sweet feeling that makes me smile and gives me an affirmation with each message. 

And right now, I really am trying to figure out how I feel about my recent breakup. I know that I don’t want to go back to him. And sifting through the memories brings back some more somber moments and somber thoughts, like the ones you read in Together in Paris. 

It’s been hard for me, yes. And maybe I can share some of it with you. Maybe writing it out will make me feel better, or feel something. I know I have a habit of going numb and avoiding things that might hurt me, but I think it’s time I open my heart up a bit, and I feel safe with you all. 

It’s true. He was supposed to be my happily ever after. He was my prince charming who came to save me from an awful home life, terrible mental health, and well, just about everything else. For a long time I believed that he was my forever. My Edward, my Wesley, my Winchester, my Chat Noir, my Captain America, my guardian angel, my soulmate. The little girl inside of me who craved being saved had found her savior and she loved him with all of her heart. There was no one who knew me better for a long time. Though every heartache he was there. When friends turned and walked out on me, when I had tough decisions to make, when I needed someone to lean on, he was there. He was my everything. 

And I gave up so many things. I compromised so many times just to keep him. Things that I’ll never get back. I never stole his sweatshirts because he didn’t own any. We never had a song, he rarely liked my taste in music. I never got flowers, or romantic dates. I had to plan them all, if I wanted it, I had to tell him. There was no dancing at prom, no claim of highschool sweethearts, no nights looking up at the stars. No cute photos at holidays. I lost all of the little things for the sake of a savior. 

And I think that’s what wore away at my heart the most. What could have been, what should have been, if he cared a little more. Words only got so far. “Of course I love you,” “I’ll try harder,” “I’m not good at this kinda stuff,” “I don’t care,” They were empty promises piled up on top of the promise of forever. 

And even though I was with him, I started to define myself, and I liked that he was apart of my definition, but he wasn’t the entire definition anymore. But that’s all I was to him. I was on a pedestal to him. And I wanted off, desperately. But he refused.  

 Everything he did, he claimed to do for me, then complained about how it drained him. He’d work non stop for money to go to school for me, then complain about his day or refuse to get proper sleep. And I’d tell him to sleep, to take care of himself, and he didn’t. He said he couldn’t. And it’s hard watching someone self destruct while you’re desperately telling them to get help, to listen, to do something different. Anything different. 

And that hurt. A lot. It hurt watching him cling to a shadow of me and say he loved me again and again and I couldn’t say it back. I couldn’t believe him anymore. He didn’t love me. He loved the idol. 

And he never listened. That’s what killed me. When we fought, when I tried to tell him where he was going wrong, when I tried to help him, he’d get mopey and “woe is me” and victimize himself to a point where I felt backed into a corner. Where I didn’t want to talk to him because he was only interested in hearing “I love you” or complaining to me. He didn’t want to know about my day. He didn’t care what music captured my heart. 

He never read my writing. 

Maybe once, he did a few years ago. But I can assure you that I’ve gotten “later” from him for about a year. A “later” that never came. And that hurt a lot. I pour my heart out into my writing. It’s a world that I can create and destroy if I want to and I love my worlds, I love my writings, and he never read them. He never cared. He made excuses. And he was also manipulative with it because one of the only writings that he read of mine from this blog is my ace headcanon list, then proceeded to yell at me and gaslight me for writing it making me feel bad because he had reacted wrong and golly gee I’m Mad and Hurt So after a while, I just stopped trying.

And it was sad, because he never noticed that I stopped trying. He probably thought that I was being complaint. Another compromise. 

And I came to the realization that I didn’t want to share my life with him because he didn’t want to be in my life. He wanted my love and affection and the security that I offered. 

He knew it was wrong. He told me he knew. Again and again he said he’d change. He’d get better, he’d keep trying. And trying. And... not trying. He never changed. He never kept that promise. 

And that kills me too. 

I wrote “there are songs about the ones who got away, but they never ask her why she left, do they?” 

This is why I had to leave.

Because I’m not a fighter. I’m a pacifist. I’ll go in peace without a word. Without an argument. A clean break. I can go and never tell my side of the story. I’m okay with rumors about me because I know who I am on the inside. And I’ve worked damn hard for that and I’m proud of it. 

But no one knows any of this. And he’ll never see this because he’ll try to turn it back on me. 

So, I’ve made a clean break for it. I’ve blocked him on social media and on here. I don’t want to try to fit him into my life anymore because it was exhausting. And I never knew how tired it made me until he was gone. 

So yes, it hurts. It hurts because I thought I had found my everything. I was convinced that I had, and he let me down. He let me down and he refused to accept that and he refused to ever let me believe that. It hurts because I gave up so many things for him and now I can never get them back. And that hurts. It really does. 

And right now, I have to disassociate him from my series, because those are the stories of us. And they’re supposed to have happy endings and a man who stays and changes for the better but I have no idea how to write that now, because it didn’t happen to me. So please, don’t expect me to figure out how to finish those series because I have no idea what to do now. I’m scared and alone without a prince charming for the first time in my life and writing career and it’s terrifying. And I know you all love them, I do, but I can’t do it. I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to give you a happily ever after because my was torn from me by the one who promised it to me. 

And that hurts the most. 

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[szamsson]

are you writing more chapters of the sander bad boy fic you did ages ago?

Part 1

(I might make it like a 5 parter if ya’ll like it)

When Sander entered his apartment, he first checked if anyone was home. He knew that his parents had plans to be out all night, as per usual, but he just wanted to double check. He immediately sprang into action, ordering a slab of bear to be delivered in the next hours, shoving all dirty laundry into his cupboard and clearing all the space on the coffee table. He had no idea why he was nervous. He wanted to get laid but given the innocence of the other boy he didn’t know exactly how this was going to work out. He thought, worst case scenario, Robbe would freak and he’d just meet his friends wherever they were tonight. At least he’d be able to scope out the precocious little junior and see what his deal was.

 Sander could read him like a book. The fake confidence and the niggling, underlying nervousness and insecurity, with a touch of what might be internalised homophobia? He wasn’t quite sure yet. What he didn’t understand was what had suddenly made Robbe become so bold. He’d been semi flirting with Robbe from afar for the better half of the year (amongst others but he wouldn’t mention that). So, what happened to spur Robbe on now. He pulled out his phone as he felt it vibrate against his thigh, smirking as he saw the influx of messages from an unknown number.

Robbe: Hey

Robbe: Sorry, it’s Robbe.

Robbe: You know the guy from outside school today.

Robbe: It’s fine if you don’t remember me, I mean why would you.

Robbe: Or if you think I’m pathetic, because I basically threw myself at you.

 Sander chuckled at the uncertainty in the messages. He was so damn cute, and Sander could tell that this was the real Robbe, the false bravado he had earlier today completely stripped back through text messaging.

Sander: Of course, I remember you, and no pathetic is not the verb I’d use to describe you. Adorable? Hot? Sexxyyyyy… All of the above maybe.

 Sander laughed out loud again as he watched the typing bubbles appear then disappear, then appear and disappear on a loop for the next 10 minutes. Sander knew that was going to throw the younger boy, he sensed he wasn’t the type to take compliments well. Sander waited; the ball was in the younger boys court now. Eventually, his phone vibrated again.

Robbe: So you said I could maybe come over?

Yes. This is what Sander wanted. He wasn’t going to pressure the boy that wasn’t his style. And he still wasn’t even really sure of the younger boys’ intentions, so he wanted Robbe to feel like he was taking the reins. He knew his reputation and he knew Robbe knew it too, so there was really only one reason Robbe would be coming over. Sander was used to it, he wasn’t known for his witty repartee, he was known as the bad boy who fucked around in every sense of the word. Sander set off a quick text with his address and told Robbe to come over at any time.

Robbe was nervous as he took the elevator up to Sanders apartment. He lived in a nice part of town, in a nice building and Robbe wasn’t nervous about leaving his bike tucked up in a corner out the front. He’d forgotten his bike lock on his hectic race to shower and try on three different hoodies before putting the one that he wore most days back on and leaving the house. He didn’t know how he thought tonight was going to go, he honestly didn’t have any expectation. Of course, he originally wanted…well that. But the more he thought about it the more his palms were sweating, and he was starting to feel apprehensive.

He thought Sander would be the best person to be his first time. He was clearly well experienced; he didn’t know any of Robbe’s friends and he was hot as hell. But the more he thought about Sander the more he was intrigued by the boy. He only knew what everyone talked about and Robbe knew there had to be more to his story than that. He was intrigued and had an overwhelming urge to get to know the older boy.

He held his breathe as he knocked at the door, quickly running a hand through his hair, as if he could do anything to fix it now. Sander opened the door and immediately smiled, pulling the younger boy in by the hand. He looked so good. He was wearing sweatpants that clung to his slim hips nicely and a tight black t shirt. His white hair was dishevelled like he had been running his hands through it, and his tan looked even deeper under the dim lighting of the apartment.

Robbe looked about him taking in the apartment. It wasn’t huge, probably the same size as the flat share, but it was neat and homely. There was a soft looking leather couch with heaps of throw blankets and pillows heaped on it in the living room, where Sander led him, pushing Robbe down as he collapsed, sinking into the warm couch grinning.

“Hey cutie,” Sander said, leaning down from his position towering over Robbe to give him a kiss on the cheek. The kiss was really close to the corner of his mouth and Robbe just about melted into contact. “Beer?” Sander asked, already practically skipping away towards the kitchen.

 “Um sure,” Robbe said, still slightly dazed at the contact. Whilst Sander was gone, he shook his head and gave himself a mental pep talk. Get it together Robbe, jeez. Sander returned handing him a beer, putting two extras on the coffee table and sitting alarmingly close to Robbe on the couch. He could feel the body heat up against his side and he had to do everything in his power not to melt into the touch.

 “So, how are you?” Sander said a little teasingly, eyes sparkling as he took a sip from his beer, clearly noticing the way Robbe’s eyes followed the bottles journey.

Robbe coughed as he hastily took a sip of his beer that went down the wrong pipe. “Im—good,” he sputtered, then seemed to gain control of himself. “Thanks for having me over” Robbe said trying to do his best impression of a flirty voice as he took a tentative shuffle towards Sander on the couch.

Sander just laughed at him, chucking an arm around his shoulders playfully. “Right to business hey Robbe? You’re not even going to romance me first? Some wining and dining?”

                                                            ----

Sander could tell by the boy’s body language he wasn’t sure and was once again putting on the false bravado. Sander didn’t want Robbe to think he only invited him over here to have a quick fuck and then see ya thanks, make sure to give me 5 stars on booking.com on your way out. The younger boy intrigued him, and he wasn’t sure why. His big bambi eyes held such innocence but confidence at the same time, something so alluring to Sander. But apparently Robbe was only interested in one thing.

Putting his bottle down on the table, Robbe got really bold and threw a leg over his lap, straddling Sander on the couch as he wrapped his arms around his neck. Okay, Sander thought, this is all Robbe wanted. He couldn’t help swallowing down the disappointment. But he guessed this was what he was good for.

He stared up at Robbe waiting for the younger boy to make the first move. Robbe stared down at him, smiling slightly as he shifted on Sander’s lap and got more comfortable. Then in the most confusing move of confidence and hesitance mixed into one, Robbe leaned down and took Sanders mouth. His lips were sweet and soft, and Sander moaned into them as he gripped Robbe’s waist. The boy knew how to kiss, or maybe Sander was just developing a crush on the younger boy’s sweet mouth. He nipped at Robbe’s bottom lip which made Robbe gasp into his mouth.

They made out for what felt like forever but couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes, when Sander started moving things along. He kissed down Robbe’s jaw and into his neck, sucking and softly biting marks into the pale skin. Robbe was moaning and gasping, so responsive at just making out that Sander wasn’t sure he would make it to the main event. His hand wrapped around Robbe’s ribs, bringing it down over his stomach and inching lower until he felt Robbe’s entire body stiffen. Sander looked back up at him, trying to understand the look in his eyes.

Panic. All Sander saw was panic and it looked like Robbe was fighting his own brain inside his head. Sander wouldn’t push, it was obvious the boy wasn’t ready for that and if he was honest, he’s be happy to just make out for the rest of the night, maybe order some food, talk a little. He wasn’t going to push anything physical, he wasn’t that type of guy. All of a sudden Robbe’s hand fell down to grip Sander through his sweatpants and he nearly jumped off the couch at the contact. He moaned and kissed towards Robbe’s ear again when he came back to himself and realised Robbe was as stiff as a board in his arms. He sat back and Robbe had his eyes screwed shut as if he was in pain.

Sander grabbed Robbe’s hand off his pants and brought it to his lips.

“Robbe…” Sander asked tentatively. Robbe was having some sort of battle with his emotions and suddenly his eyes went wide and he stuttered an apology.

“I’m—I’m sorry, sorry no I can do it now, I’m just” Robbe let out a frustrated groan and pulled Sander back to his body, pulling his t shirt over his head, “I’m just being a baby, I’m sorry, you can do it now.”

Okay nope. Sander was putting a stop to this right now. He carefully pushed Robbe off his lap, finding his discarded t shirt on the floor and carefully pulling it back over Robbe’s head. Robbe looked miserable and stared at him in shock and embarrassment that was completely unwarranted.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he said almost desperately now, “I’m not being a tease you can do it I swear, just do it.” And the fact that Robbe couldn’t even say the word sex, or fucking or literally anything was enough of a sign that Sander had made the right choice to stop. Robbe put his head in his hands and Sander could tell he was about 6 seconds from bolting.

He pulled Robbe’s face up so that they were inches apart and said, in a completely casual tone, “It’s fine baby,” kissing him lightly on the lips. “How about we order some pizza and you can actually tell me some stuff about you huh?” Sander said, reaching for his phone and winking at Robbe, who still looked so sad.

“I’m ruining your night,” Robbe mumbled.

“Hey!” Sander said, giving him a light tap on the chin, “I didn’t invite you here for that.”

Robbe gave him an unbelieving look.

“Okay maybe I did a little, but you intrigue me.” He said simply, “Now tell me your favourite pizza topping before I order something ghastly with pineapple.”

Robbe visibly relaxed at that and mocked outrage, “Hey I like pineapple on pizza!”

Sander jokingly sighed and shook his head, “So much to teach you my little angel.”

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 1

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes!!! hello to all of you, who gave AM CONVERSATIONS a chance and are ready to join me for this sequel too. thank you so so much, ill never say it enough. you make me want to write and that in itself is incredible for me. i hope i can surprise you, make you laugh, make you a bit frustrated and make you emotional, too. i really hope it reaches your expectations and maybe even exceed them, who knows! (fingers crossed!) please please please, keep the comments, suggestions, ideas, requests, questions and asks coming, it means everything to me! (ill start adding requests to the chapters a bit later btw, i need to set the story first!) so here it is.

Chapter 1 : His chapter

NIALL

Time passed by so quickly I had a hard time keeping track. I thought about Olivia every day and although I did miss the romantic relationship we had, most of all, I missed the friendship. I hadn't seen her in over a year and I was not really sure I ever would again. I did know almost everything there was to know, though, and I was also aware that she had moved to California, which was the place I lived half the year.

After I broke up with her, I had spent a lot of time locked at home just writing songs, and one of my favorite things to do was to check her father's web site and read the reviews she wrote about upcoming movies. One day, though, she published a short story that became popular very fast. She started filming it instead and turned it into a low budget online tv show. Luckyly for me, she didn't have the money to hire real actors and she ended up playing it in herself. I felt like a loser and a creepy ex boyfriend every time i'd lock myself in my room, in the dark, to watch the new episode, but I couldn't help it. She made q&a's videos and she seemed happy but for me, the more time passed, the more I realized that I needed her in my life.

My debut album was doing great and I was leaving on tour in a few months. I should be the happiest I have ever been but I couldn't hide that the songs I was about to sing every night still made me very emotional. My life was not all bad, of course. in fact, it was probably the best time of my life but it was tough for me to realize that I wouldn't be able to share it with my best friend... the girl I still wanted to end my life with.

My phone beeped as I was walking in the busy streets and I quickly searched my pockets to read the incoming text message.

'Don't forget to pick the cake for Joey at the bakery.'

I rolled my eyes and quickly typed an answer.

'Almost there.'

It was not a lie. Ten more seconds and I was pushing the doors of one of the biggest bakeries around. I didn't see the point in getting such an expensive and big cake for a birthday but I also didn't like to argue so I just went along with it.

I leaned against the counter and smiled as an employee moved closer.

"I'm here to pick up an order." I explained in a low tone. "Horan."

The lady smiled and nodded before leaving and I turned around, leaning more against the counter. I took my phone and started checking my messages until I heard it. Something I never thought i'd ever hear again. A laugh. It was clear and happy and although extremely fucking cheesy, it reached my heart like nothing else ever had in my life. I stopped breathing and my heart twisted but it took me a few seconds to react. I looked around the place but couldn't see her anywhere until I realized there was an other room a bit further. I took a few steps closer, a bit scared of what I was going to see but at the same time, I was full of hope.

I saw her first. She was standing up on the side, her head slightly down and her nose raised up. She seemed to glow in a way only she could and the thumping of my heart against my rib cage got even worse. She laughed again and something inside of me seemed to wake up suddenly from a very long slumber. It took me a few seconds to realize she was with Julie and when she noticed me, she hit Olivia's arm a few times to get her attention. With a quick chin movement, she incited her to turn to me and I held my breath when our eyes finally met. I was trying to decipher how she felt through her facial expressions but I couldn't seem to. Did we lose that connection we had? Was it gone forever?

I cleared my throat but walked up to them, trying to act casual as I sent both of them a smile.

"Hey, it's been a while."

"It has, in fact." Julie just replied. "Liam wanted to invite you over soon, so just text him."

My eyes moved to her and I sent her a small smile before nodding. "Will do."

I pushed both my hands in my pockets, feeling suddenly nervous to be around her. Her eyes finally met mine and she smiled to me sincerely. I expected her to be a bit embarrassed, or to feel uneasy, but she tilted her head and I let my eyes roam on her face. She smelled exactly like I remembered, the addicting scent of vanilla and honey invading me completely, and once again, my heart skipped a beat.

"It's been even longer for us." I just said, making her nod slightly. "How are you? How's your boyfriend?"

She chuckled and shrugged. "We're both good, thanks for asking, what about you and your girlfriend?"

"Good, we're good."

My eyes moved on her features and I licked my lips, suddenly wondering if hers tasted like they used to..

"Congrats on your tv show, by the way, it's incredible" I added, trying to keep the conversation going. "I'm very happy for you."

We both heard Julie's phone ring but I kept my eyes on her, giving her all my attention.

"Thank you! I'm having a blast with this I mean, who would have thought acting was so much fun, you know? I knew I loved writing but this is... beyond my expectations." she expressed with passion, making me smile more. "Oh and congrats on your first album!"

"Oh thank you, thanks!"

I moved slightly and opened her mouth to say something just as Julie came back and we both turned around as she hung up.

"Okay so Liam says we have to pick 'chocolate'."

I frowned and suddenly remembered where we were, my eyes roaming around the bakery and I licked my lips again. They had a few plates placed on the counter in front of them with pieces of different cakes and I realized it was probably for a wedding cake.

"I thought we were the ones in charge?" Liv frowned, moving her hands up while looking at Julie. "Since when does he get a say in this?"

"Wedding cake? Can I taste?"

I moved forward and grabbed a fork, taking a bite from the chocolate one.

"Mmhm dis one's gweat!" I replied, my mouth full, making Olivia roll her eyes with a smile. "I agree with Liam." I continued with a smirk after swallowing.

I hadn't seen Liam in a few months and now I knew why he wanted to invite me over. It was only a matter of time until he'd ask Julie to marry him. After all, they had been dating for years and nothing would ever tear them apart. It reminded me of my mistakes and all the things I regretted. My eyes found Liv again and I swallowed the lump in my throat. The way I broke up with her and especially the reasons why I did it were horrible but we would end up together, I was still sure about that, as pathetic as it sounded. I didn't tell anyone, I knew they would say i'm delusional and I didn't want to let them kill that conviction or even make it falter.

"Thanks for your input, Niall." Liv joked, raising her nose up with a smile. "Your opinion's been noted."

I laughed and it made her laugh too and for some odd reason, it brought a bunch of memories in my head. That time we played football together and I fell on top of her... or that time we danced in the living room and tripped over each other... that time we fucked on the stairs of a radio station and had to rush down and out not to be caught... that time we made love for the first time next to my christmas tree... that time...

"Niall?"

"Mm?"

"You okay?" she asked with a frown, a smile still gracing her lips.

"Oh yea, sorry it's just... it's good to hear you laugh again."

This time, her smile turned into a fond one and I smiled too. We kept staring at each other for a while and all I could think about was how beautiful and radiating she was. Even in the way she was standing up and moving, I could see that she was more confident and happy and that her insecurities weren't as bad as they used to be. It was not just a facade.

"You're... glowing." I let out, feeling suddenly uncomfortable with my confession. I chuckled, a little embarrassed, and scratched the back of my head, trying to think of something to add before she could answer. "It's crazy that we meet, I mean, we both moved here and it's a big city."

She nodded, understanding that I didn't want to talk about the first thing I had mentioned and she finally just shrugged and shook her head.

"Yea well, you know what they say, it's a small world after all." she just replied, making me smile more.

"L.A. is a world in itself, it's true." I agreed before laughing again. "Love how you quoted disney, and also not surprised."

"Some things never change."

Her words made something twist in my stomach. The only thing that never really changed in the past two years was the love I felt for her. It was sad how it was still strong and burning my insides. I was still in love with the girl I broke up with a year ago, a girl I was seeing for the first time in months, a girl that did so fucking well without me.

"Just like your love for coffee, yea?"

I glanced up only to notice Julie was tasting cakes, making sure to stay further to give us space, but knowing her, she was probably listening to every single word Liv and I were sharing.

"I.. still love coffee."

"Good, how about one, tomorrow, to catch up?"

Her lips parted and I knew why she hesitated. It was a mix of what we used to mean for each other, the hurt I put her through, the fact that we were both taken and also, the uncertainty of us still getting along after all this. The truth was, I needed a 'yes'. I needed to see her again, to talk to her again. I needed her in my life. This whole plan of us ending up together was based on us becoming friends again but reality had just hit me. If she didn't want to be around me anymore, there were barely any chance left for us to date again. That was something I hadn't thought about too much.

I took my phone out of my pocket again and handed it to her after unlocking it. She glanced at it before looking back in my eyes and I just shrugged.

"If you want to add your number." I proposed gently. "I mean, unless you think your boyfriend wouldn't like that."

The truth was, I didn't care at all, and I knew that would trigger her into doing the opposite.

"He's never tried to stop me from seeing anyone. He's not the jealous type."

I didn't say anything, I just raised my eyebrows with a smile and she finally grabbed the phone from my hand while rolling her eyes with a smile. I stared at her with a grin as she typed and when she handed it back to me, I quickly sent her a smiling emoji to make sure she also had my number. Her phone made music as it received my text message and my smile faltered. I remembered when it was my voice she had used as a ringtone and as a notification for her messages. Of course, I couldn't expect her to have kept it after all this time but it still did something to me to realize that she was now using something else. So many things had changed and despite what I tried to make myself believe, it really fucking hurt.

"Oh is that... the theme of your tv show?"

I knew damn well it was but I didn't want to make it seem like I was obsessed with it only to see her face, even if it was exactly that. When did I fall into this disgusting pattern of regretting my own decisions? Now that I was standing right in front of her, I realized that it was a bit creepy of me but at the same time, I couldn't help myself.

"Yes! It's good isn't it?"

It was, in fact, very good, and I also knew exactly who wrote it and who was singing, but once again, I didn't mention it.

"Yea, definitely."

She sent me a smile that I sent back and we suddenly went quiet. I kept staring at her, wondering what she'd do if I'd just cup her face and kissed her but also knowing i'd never have the guts to do it. Having her so close made all my feelings so much more real, vivid and alive that I could barely breathe in her presence.

We had been friends for decades and had dated for a year but never before have I felt like this around her. Everything about her was shining in a way it never did before and what emanated from her was reflecting on me and illuminating my soul. I had no idea how she did that and most likely, she wasn't even aware of the effect she had on me.

"It's just... so good to see you." I let out, shaking my head as she raised her eyebrows and smiled.

I had missed her. I had missed her energy, her presence, her vibe. I had missed her laughter, her touch and her kisses. I had missed her friendship and her love. It was hard to believe I actually broke up with her for... for what, exactly?

"You too, Nee." she just said, tilting her head. "I'll text you."

I knew in the way that she was looking at me that we weren't on the same page and even though I didn't want to admit it to myself, I sort of wished she would still love me the way she used to. Hell, even just half of the love she used to feel for me would be enough. But there she was, standing in front of me, acting like we didn't have this painful and crazy history, and that hurt in a way I couldn't explain.

"Liv, are you gonna help or not?" Julie let out from a bit further, sticking her fork in one of the pieces of cake. "I'm getting a bit nauseous, you know I don't have a sweet tooth!"

Olivia looked back but turned again to me and chuckled without answering her. It made me laugh a bit when I saw her expression. Finally, something that was still exactly the same.

"Sorry, i'm gonna have to-"

"Yea no, it's cool." I replied, cutting her and frowning as I shook my head and shrugged. "Just text me."

"NEIL HOREIN?"

I grimaced at the sound of my name being mispronounced and cringed slightly, making Olivia laugh even more.

"I should be used to this but I never will." I admitted, my eyes closed. "You'd think after a few platinum albums, people would get it right."

"Well, keeps you grounded doesn't it?" she joked, trying to suppress a laugh.

"For sure." I just agreed, rising my nose up before sending her a smile. "Take care yea?"

Without thinking, I brought my hand up and my fingers brushed against the skin of her arm and I realized I hadn't touched her in over a year. It gave me a shock that seemed to cross my entire body and I held my breath, taking my hand back. She didn't seem fazed at all by this connection and she just raised her hand up as a goodbye sign. I took a step back and finally turned around to reach the front of the shop to pay. I turned to look at her again but she was back to trying out cakes and I took the box the lady behind the counter was handing me before thanking her and leaving.

Everything seemed surreal as I stepped foot out and I held my breath and closed my eyes until I heard my phone beep again. My heart skipped a beat at the thought of Olivia messaging me already but it dropped when I noticed it was only my girlfriend again.

'So? The cake?'

I sighed, slightly annoyed, but typed a quick answer as I was reaching my car.

'Got it. On my way.'

                                                        -----

I quickly opened the door and took my shoes off before closing it with my foot and walking to the kitchen. I didn't know where my girlfriend was and simply put the cake in the fridge before sitting down in the living room, grabbing my guitar and putting it on my lap. I took the notebook I had left on the coffee table and started scribbling the two-line lyrics that had been stuck in my head the whole drive until home.

I was not ready for a new album yet but that didn't mean I couldn't work on new music while waiting and I just stared at the words written for a few seconds without blinking. Quickly, I added a few words before and worked on the verses. I could feel my heart beat hard against my rib cage as I re-read the words and I finally took my guitar and started playing while recording myself. I didn't know if half an hour had even passed when I heard footsteps coming from downstairs and I stopped recording, barely believing I had written something decent enough to be used in a future album. I was so lost in my mind that it took me a few seconds to realize someone was taking to me.

"Niall? Hello?"

"Mm?" I blinked a few times and turned my head, my eyes meeting my girlfriend's. "Sorry love, what did you say?"

"The. Cake." she let out very annoyed, after probably repeating it a few times.

"The. Fridge." I replied meanly, feeling suddenly a bit guilty for being rude. "You're gonna have to try and trust me, you know." I added slightly louder as she reached the kitchen.

She came back with a bottle of water and sat next to me, swallowing half of it quickly. She was wearing her work-out clothes and pushed her high ponytail over her shoulder, taking one of her earbuds off.

"I thought you were going out for a run?" I asked, frowning for a second before closing the notebook in front of me.

I didn't want her to read what I had written or to ask to hear it but I knew it was not likely that she would. She had stopped caring about things I enjoyed a while ago. Why did we start dating again?

"Wasn't in the mood to be photographed." she let out with a grimace, making me chuckle.

"Oh yea? Since when?"

She turned to me and if looks could kill, i'd be fucking dead on the spot. I cleared my throat and shrugged a shoulder, leaning against the couch. I wanted to point out to her that I was right but instead, I closed my eyes, humming my new song and feeling something twist in my chest. How could one person inspire me so much? Was she also going to be the muse for my second album? I desperately wanted to believe i'd be back with her soon and be able to write a few happy songs for the second one but after the short encounter we just had had, I was not even sure she still had feelings for me. It did the opposite for me, though ; i was now totally sure that I was still in love with her.

"Okay well, can you order?" my girlfriend asked, taking me out of my daydream as she put her hand on my thigh. "I need to rehearse a bit more, okay?"

She didn't wait for my answer and just got up, running back downstairs with her water bottle and I closed my eyes again. After I broke up with Olivia, I decided to go out every night, have fun and fuck whoever I wanted. The first few times felt amazing but the more I was fucking around, the more I realized it was not for me. The flirting part was nice enough, and the sex wasn't so bad most of the time but the feeling i'd get when i'd wake up in the morning was horrible, like a bitter aftertaste of some expired milk that remained in your fridge for too long. The truth was, sex with a stranger is good, but never as good as sex with someone you love, for many many reasons. When feelings were involved, there was clearly something stronger coming from the whole moment and after a while, you know that person so well that you know exactly what she wants and what it means when she does a certain face, or moans a certain way. There was something important and safe in the choreography of our bodies and I hadn't found that special feeling and connection with anyone else,  not even my current girlfriend. No, sex was not everything, but with the right person, it was ecstatic and emotional at the same time.

I grabbed my phone and looked at our conversation. There was only the smiling emoji I had sent her yet and I started nibbling on my bottom lip. She hadn't messaged me yet and I was a bit scared she never would. I started typing a message slowly, telling myself that if she'd never message me, at least, she'd know how I felt.

'If honesty means telling you the truth, well i'm still in love with you'

I blinked a few times, staring at the words I had typed from the song I had written, until I couldn't read them anymore due to the tears in my eyes. I couldn't believe I was crying, I couldn't believe it would hurt so much to see her so well without me and at the same time, that thought was so selfish it made me feel guilty. After all, I was the one who had broken up with her, and she didn’t owe me anything. She hadn’t spent the last year dwelling on the past or crying for me.

I swallowed, ready to hit 'send', when my phone beeped. I wiped my eyes quickly and the left corner of my lips raised up. I felt like someone had taken a load off my shoulders and I breathed in deeply as I read her message.

'Coffee tomorrow afternoon, are you free? 🤪'

I chuckled at the emoji and quickly, I deleted the lyrics I was about to send her to replace it with an answer to her question. I wanted to see her and if she had asked me to drive to her at this exact moment, I would have in a heartbeat. Everything I did in the past year was only to lead me to this exact moment.

'Always free for you 🥰'

[readwithkay]

April Reads [ 2 Books ]

i really was expected to do 3 tests for EACH subject i do & i do 11 subjects :( 0 reading time & by tbr pile is always evolving. at least my local bookstores are opening again! FYI there is a ‘keep reading’ border bc the first book i ready in april has a few trigger warnings :) please skim over that “review” if you are uncomfy

When the Stars Lead to You by Ronni Davis (TW: mention of mental illness, death of a loved one, depression, attempted suicide) (i swear in this review)

(★★)

18-old Devon longs for two things. The stars. & the boy she fell in love with last summer. When Ashton breaks Devon’s heart at the end of the most romantic & magical summer ever, she thinks her heart will never heal again. But over the course of the following year, Devon finds herself slowly putting the broken pieces back together. Now it’s senior year, and she’s determined to enjoy every moment of it as she prepares for a future studying the galaxies. That is, until Ashton shows up on the first day of school. Can she forgive him and open her heart again? Or are they doomed to repeat history

From debut author, Ronni Davis, comes a stunning novel about passion, loss, and the power of first love.

can i just say that ive had so little books rated over 3 stars in the past couple months :(

i really wanted to enjoy this book bc the synopsis sounded good, the title is creative/intruging and i really wanted to get something about the 3 stars i was giving like every book since february

unfortunately, it disappointed me gravely

kinda insta love & this girl wasn’t over this guy she dated for 2-3 months over A YEAR AGO like ????

was expecting to be BLOWN OUT OF THIS WORLD (i think im funny-) but just felt like id been dug an early grave with how boring it was

like we get it you have daddy issues :(

the mental illness rep didn’t strike me as realistic, but i found it commendable that the non-mentally-ill MC went out of her way to do her own research

i liked the POC rep 

all of these descriptions of the deep love that devon feels for ashton but it was laid on so thickly that it felt more like being told than shown. at a certain point, the romance scenes became ew—the sheer amount of passages where they were just making out or talking about how they wanted to be together forever (paired with ashton’s extreme wealth) gave me unpleasant fan fiction/wattpad vibes

like 2015/2017 wattpad

not good overall

ALSO THIS BITCH WAS FULLY PREPARED TO DITCH UNI FOR THIS BOY?????????????? my emotionally unavailable self could NEVER

The 57 Bus by Dashka Slater

(★★★★)

If it weren't for the 57 bus, Sasha & Richard never would have met. Both were high school students from Oakland, California, one of the most diverse cities in the country, but they inhabited different worlds. Sasha, a white teen, lived in the middle-class foothills & attended a small private school. Richard, a black teen, lived in the crime-plagued flatlands & attended a large public one. Each day, their paths overlapped for a mere 8 minutes. But 1 afternoon on the bus ride home from school, a single reckless act left Sasha severely burned & Richard charged with two hate crimes & facing life imprisonment. The case garnered international attention, thrusting both teenagers into the spotlight.

i did shed a few tears

fINALLY something above 3 stars !!!!

Based on the real life story of a white Oakland agender teen attacked by another teen while riding the bus, the book is both insightful & balanced.

Sasha (the victim) & Richard’s (the attacker) backstories are fully explored.  Oakland itself & Richard’s backstory are paid careful consideration. & after learning about both a clearer picture emerges. 1 where Oakland, 1 of the most diverse & deeply divided cities in the country, & the criminal justice system play a role in shaping events.

dashka slater could have EASILy formed a narrative casting richard as our villain. they didn’t. instead, richard is a goofy, often quiet but smart TEEN who was raised in poverty & who desperatey tries to avoid conflict/getting into trouble. he is NOT a supervillian. he is NOT inherently bad or evil. 

BUT the book doesn’t condone/excuse his actions; we’re just provided with the context: a favour not always granted by the media. in this story, the media manipulated both richard & his mother’s words by giving them a differing narrative and ripping away their substance.

this book is also a compelling indictment of the criminal justice systerm, where richard (WHO IS SIXTEEN YEARS OLD) is tried as an ADULT. & in being tried as an ADULT (WHICH HE IS NOT) he loses the protection granted to juveniles: he loses anonymity and a reasonable punishment/sentence. MEANING ADULT PRISON. 

like what the actual hell???? THIS HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE PEOPLE. as a teenager, richard is still developing. he physically & mentally has less impulse control than adults who would be imprisoned; YET HE IS TREATED THE SAME AS THEM?

made me very angry but very interested

still, the story does not excuse his actions; it critiques & explores the systems that foster these types of attacks & the legal responses. 

IN FACT, sasha (THE VICTIM) & their family PUBLICLY disagreed with the court’s decision to try richard as an adult. 

sasha is also provided equal narrative. from the get-go the book educates its audience on nonbinary gender identities & sasha’s journey of discovering their pronouns/gender identity. 

not a 5 star bc i wasnt always that keen on the writing style :( still a brilliant book, especially if you want educated on what it’s like to be nb/the justice system 

[emybain]

Almost

im a sucker for the au where nova’s family lives,,,so here’s another fic that I wrote with no shame. I definitely plan on writing more fics where she’s younger, and I might have to make a masterpost for this au (I also need to update my current masterpost of all my fics bc,,,yikes I haven't updated that in forever.) anyway, here’s a little drabble where adrian’s family comes over for dinner and the two families haven't seen one another in FOREVER and nova hasn't talked to Adrian in a couple months soooo :)) I may have gotten a little angsty but that's not my problem. also yes I definitely played into the stereotypical teenage romance trope and I dont care

.     “I’m home,” Nova called out as she closed the front door behind her. The smell of onions and ginger hung in the air. Nova checked the time on the clock in the living room, setting her bag down beside Papà’s favorite armchair. It was only late afternoon, so she wasn’t hallucinating; her mom was making dinner early. Nova’s family tended to eat much later than the average family, usually in the late evening. According to Papà, that’s how he grew up, so it’s how Nova and her siblings would grow up. Maybe her mom was just cooking now so she wouldn’t have to later; she had done that a few times in the past. Nova shrugged it off. 

    From the kitchen, her mom called out to her in Tagalog, her first language. Another thing that made Nova frown; she rarely spoke in her first language unless it was for a specific reason. After all, English was the only language all five of the Artinos had in common. Nevertheless, Nova answered back in Tagalog to appease her mother, telling her how her day went. When her mom asked about her therapist appointment, though, Nova switched back to English so that her dad, who was probably in the kitchen as well, could understand. 

“Dr. Sterling says hi and that she-”

    Nova had just plopped her car keys down on a side table in the kitchen when she noticed that they had guests over. She faltered, biting back her usual report she would give to her parents following her therapist appointment. So that’s why Mom was speaking in her first language. 

    “No one told me we were having people over tonight.” Nova raised an awkward hand toward the Everhart-Westwood trio, not quite sure if she were speaking to her parents or their guests. Smoothing down her oversized tee shirt, Nova ignored the way her cheeks lit up at her appearance. An old shirt of her dad’s, workout shorts she had been in since her run that morning, and torn up tennis shoes with holes beginning to peak out in the toes. “I would’ve dressed nicer.”

    Hugh was the first to break the awkward silence, chuckling and beckoning Nova forward. She gave him and Simon a one-armed hug. 

    “It was sort of last minute,” Simon explained, looking Nova up and down. “After all, it’s been so long since we’ve all gotten together.” A smile lit up his face. “While I can’t say you’ve grown, you’ve definitely changed, Nova. Every time we see you, you look more and more like your mother.” He was right; it had been a while since the two families had spent time together. Nova hadn’t seen Adrian’s dads in months other than the occasional wave from across a room at headquarters. When she was younger, it seemed as if the two families had more time for one another. It was odd, when she considered it, how close her family was to the Everhart-Westwoods, all because of a series of events that occurred when Nova was no older than six. Her father had gone to the Renegades for protection from Nova’s uncle, and they promised to protect him and his family. After a failed attempt by Nova’s uncle to kill her entire family, they were sent to a temporary home where they would be much safer. Then after Ace Anarchy was defeated, Nova’s father went to work for the Renegades with a vision of making the world a better place. Now, he sat comfortably as head of the weapons department, something Nova knew he wasn’t necessarily proud of, but it brought in a decent amount of money for his family. And besides, the weapons were currently being used for good. At least, that was what her dad said to reassure himself and his family. 

    “Too bad I also got her height,” Nova retorted.

    “Nak, you’re perfect just the way you are,” Mom chided from the stove where she was stirring a pot of what looked like a soup or stew. Nova rolled her eyes, used to her mother lecturing her on her negative view of her appearance. 

    She turned to Adrian to hug him next, as it was expected, despite the sudden skip in her chest. It had been a few months since she had seen much of him or talked to him, both of them being held down by responsibilities and Renegade duties. Ever since they got their own teams a couple years ago, she had noticed how they began drifting apart. It was upsetting because they had been so close when they were young, but what could they do about it? Nova barely had enough time these days for her studies, something her parents were strict on her having. She supposed it was a good thing, seeing as she had developed confusing and distracting feelings for her childhood friend that went beyond friendship. And as her mom liked to say, people would enter and leave her life when she needed them, that they were there or not there for a reason. 

    It was hard not to breathe in or let her eyes fall shot when Nova wrapped both of her arms around Adrian’s shoulders, lifting up on the tips of her toes. She tried not to shiver as he bent down to meet her, arms encircling her waist. Then it was over too soon, and Nova hopped up on the kitchen counter beside where he stood. 

    “Get down from there,” Nova’s dad passed by her with a handful of bowls, swatting at her lightly once he set them down. Sharing a look with Adrian, who bit his lip to hold back his smile, she slid back down. 

    “So, what’s for dinner?” Nova leaned against the counter. 

    Papà opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Nova’s siblings came running through the kitchen, Thomas chasing after Evie with a red face and tears running down his cheeks. 

    “Give it back!” Thomas screeched. He managed to wrap a fist around Evie’s shirt before she ripped it from his grasp, dancing away. “Papà, tell Evie to give my action figure back!”

    Nova saw her father’s face age about ten years as he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose beneath his glasses. “Evie, give your brother his toy back, please.”

    “He wouldn’t leave me alone!” Evie stuck her tongue out at Thomas. “He kept opening my door and running away laughing, so now his stupid toy is mine.” 

    Nova shifted toward Adrian, who leaned down to listen as she mumbled, “She just got herself into huge trouble, watch.”

    Papà narrowed his eyes at Evie. “Evie Grace Artino, what have we said about closed doors in this house?” 

    Nova elbowed Adrian softly. 

    Evie faltered, her hand that was held over her head to keep the toy away from Thomas falling. “Did I say my bedroom door? I..I-I um...I meant-”

    “Give the toy back, and I’ll consider lightening your punishment for breaking the rules.”

    Evie groaned loudly and shoved the toy at Thomas, whose skin and hair, Nova noticed, was a soft shade of red. At this point, Nova was used to her brother’s recent discovery that he was a prodigy like her. It wasn’t much, seemingly, because he only changed colors depending on his mood. But Nova had a feeling that there was much more to it, and that he would learn more about himself in the coming years. 

    “It’s not fair! Nova’s allowed to have her door shut!” 

    Nova began to speak, retorting that she had earned that right, but Mom beat her to it.

    “Nova is five years older than you, Evie.” She brought the stirring pot over to the island where she set it on a hot pad. “And much more mature. She’s a leader in the Renegades and has nearly perfect grades in her studies and she does her chores and work without being asked. She’s earned that right, and you will too, once we see you trying in school and emptying the dishwasher on time and not after we’ve asked ten times.”

    “Explains why you’re always grounded every other week,” Evie grumbled, shoving past Nova. 

    “Anyway,” Mom took her apron off. “Dinner’s ready. And to answer your question, Nova, it’s Sinigang.”

    Nova smiled. Her favorite. 

______

    “No boys in bedrooms!” Mom called up the stairs as Nova led Adrian up. 

    “Oh darn, there goes my plan to seduce my best friend.” She shrugged at Adrian. “Sorry, maybe next time.” She pretended not to notice how he averted her gaze, cheeks red. 

    “I mean it, Nova Jean!” 

    “We’re just going to watch a movie or something, calm down!” 

    Even as she said it, she led Adrian to the back of the upstairs where her bedroom was. 

    “Didn’t your mom just say-”

    Nova reached for his hand, pulling him inside. “We’re not going to be in my room.” She nodded to her window. “The roof?”

    A smile crept onto Adrian’s face, understanding filling his eyes. He let Nova pull him to the window. She lifted it up and stepped out onto the sill, then pushed herself up onto the roof, an easy feat as the roof was slanted right beside her bedroom window. When they were little, she and Adrian would climb up there and talk for hours until Papà would have to go out in the backyard and yell up at them to come down because it was time for Adrian to go home. 

    The wind picked up slightly, and Nova peered back over her shoulder. “Grab a blanket from my bed.”

    She crawled to the center, their spot, and waited for Adrian. When he poked his head up, she grinned and caught the blanket thrown at her. She wrapped it around herself as he joined her. 

    “How’s your team doing?” She scooted closer to him, telling herself it was because she was cold and he radiated heat. “I saw Ruby the other day in the training hall. We ran a few laps together before she had to go.”

    “Good, I suppose.” He rested back on his elbows. “Danna misses you, by the way. She won’t shut up about how you two need to grab coffee or breakfast.”

    Nova chuckled. “I know! We’ve been texting, but our schedules just haven’t lined up in a while. I haven’t been able to relax much the past few months with this new schedule I’m on.” She let out a sigh, resting her chin on her knees. “Especially since I-” she stopped herself, shoulders tensing up. Adrian didn’t know about her therapist. In fact, no one knew that she had started going to therapy, not even Adèle or Ramona or Benton, some of the people she spent most of her time around. She didn’t need people thinking she was weak.

    “Since you what?” Even though she her back was to him, Nova could hear the frown in his voice. 

    “Nothing.” Nova chewed the inside of her cheek. “Forget I said anything.”

    Adrian sat up. “No, what?” When she didn’t give him an immediate answer, avoiding his piercing gaze, he nudged her gently. “Come on, Nova. We’ve been friends for almost ten years. You know you can tell me anything.”

    She picked at a hole in her leggings. “It’s not that I’m embarrassed or anything. It’s a completely normal thing people do. It’s just...not everyone would agree with me, and you know that I’m not the most liked person in Gatlon.” It wasn’t something she acknowledged often because it always left her in a sour mood; it always lingered at the bottom of her conscience, like how Evie would overstay her welcome in Nova’s room sometimes. Because of her uncle, because of what he did before his death, the Artino’s had to tread lightly in the city. Her parents, maybe not so much, since so many sympathized with them choosing to do the right thing and nearly losing their lives over it. And Evie presented no danger because she wasn’t a prodigy, and she was too young to even remember her uncle. Thomas was still a young child, despite being a prodigy, and didn’t even know how to divide numbers bigger than twenty without help. Nova, on the other hand, was kept under supervision by just about all of Gatlon. There were people who didn’t like the fact that she was a Renegade, much less a team leader for one of the best teams in the city. They didn’t like that she was friends with Adrian Everhart, son of the late Lady Indomitable and adopted son of the Dread Warden and Captain Chromium, all three being members on the Renegades Council. Rumors had been spread in the past of her true intentions with the Everhart boy, and how much she trained, and how intelligent she was. After all, she had known Ace Anarchy; he was her Uncle Alec. She had loved him and the gifts he brought her family. That was all before she knew who he truly was, of course. 

But even then, in recent years, she had been contacted by the living Anarchists, confronted by them in person sometimes. The Council didn’t know, and it was a secret Nova planned on taking to her grave, despite never acting on their kind words and suggestions to join them, that the Renegades were flawed and corrupt. She knew they only wanted her because of her bloodline. Their words were lies.

Nova couldn’t afford to make mistakes in this world with so many eyes on her. 

Adrian shifted closer, the movement almost subtle. He placed a hand on her back, and Nova tried to hide her shiver. “They can all go to Hell. No one knows you like I do, Nova. The media...the media will always find a way to twist good into bad, no matter how hard you try.” He traced a small pattern on her back. “If you don’t want to tell me, I get it, and I won’t press anymore, but you can trust me. I promise not to tell anyone.”

Nova allowed herself to sink into his touch, just a little. After a moment, she said quietly, “I started going to therapy. You know how I don’t need to sleep? How whenever I try, I’m taken back to that night?” Adrian nodded. She had told him the story years ago. “Well, I’ve been going for that, partly.” She cleared her throat. “I learned from my therapist that I have a decent amount of anxiety, and I’m pretty fucking depressed, so I’m going for that as well.”

His hand paused on her back, then shifted to take her hand. She didn’t even realize it had started shaking. “That’s good you’re seeing someone. You’ve never been good at opening up.” She had to let out a soft laugh at that. 

“Yeah.” She looked down at their joined hands, thought of how they would look better laced together. “But I mean, it’s helped a lot. She’s helping me work through the trauma and pain I deal with on a daily basis. And she’s patient, too, so if she makes a suggestion and it takes me weeks to act upon it, she’s not upset. She’s always happy to hear me try something new.”

“Like?” Adrian looked down at her. 

She hummed. “Well, at first it was little things, like making my team train during the day instead of at four in the morning.” When Adrian frowned, she continued. “I’ve always done that because I was insecure about people watching me, about what they would say. And then it kind of just became routine, so I didn’t bother changing it until she suggested I do.”

“There were a few times I remember seeing you train during the day,” Adrian said. “They weren’t often, and I always assumed it was because something changed in your schedule.”

Nova nodded. “I hated those days. Usually, I would just try to tune everyone out but myself and my team.” She bit her lip. “Now, it’s still a little weird, but I’m getting used to it every day.” A snort escaped her mouth. “And now people can stop saying I have something to hide because I train so early.” 

    “Stop worrying about what other people think.” He squeezed her hand gently, that stupid soft smile returning to his lips.

    “Gee,” Nova deadpanned, “I wish I would’ve thought of that. Thank you. I’m cured.” 

    “You know what I mean.”

    Nova tore her hand out of his, despite liking the way it felt, to push him gently. He was laughing at her now, so she pushed him again, this time a bit harder. It seemed to have no effect on him. Why was he so infuriating? Even from going months without seeing one another, even from drifting apart in recent years, he still had the audacity to be so comfortable around her while she was an awkward mess. She guessed that may also play a part in the reason why her pulse tended to quicken in his presence the past six or more months. She also guessed that was why she enjoyed her friendship with him as much as she did, and that he was debatably the closest person to her. They could always pick up right where they left off no matter how long they were apart, as if they had talked just the other day. 

    Adrian nudged her back with his arm playfully. They went back and forth like this, playing the game for another minute or so, the two of them erupting into quite giggles, before he grabbed both of her arms as they pushed against his chest. She tried to pull away, grinning widely, but her laughter died in her throat when she looked up to meet his eyes. They stared into hers with an intensity that brought color to her cheeks. Her smile faded. 

    “Nova, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now,” he breathed. Minutes ago, he had sounded so calm, so confident, and now she could hear the trembling in his voice, the uncertainty. She could’ve sworn she saw his eyelashes dip, eyes glancing at her gaping mouth. Instead of telling her, he inched his face closer to hers. 

    Inhaling sharply, Nova almost scrambled away. Was he...great skies. She remained still, though, and surprised herself by letting her eyes flutter shut, tilting in. After all, wasn’t this what she had been wanting for so long? Many nights had been spent tossing and turning in her bed, trying to make herself get at least a few minutes of sleep despite not needing it, wondering if he thought of her the way she thought of him. They weren’t kids anymore. Things had changed. 

    But they were still friends. Best friends. What if...whatever this was...would send them down a dangerous path? It could open up something new for both of them, or it could completely ruin a decade long friendship. And with her schedule, she didn’t have time for it, even though she really, really, truly wanted it. Wanted him. This was the first time they had actually hung out in months, and while they could pick up where they left off as friends, would it be the same in a relationship?

    Too many questions raced through her mind as Adrian’s lips brushed against hers, sending electricity down her spine. She had kissed Adrian before, nearly three years ago at a party where they played spin the bottle. Back then, it was an innocent kiss, an awkward and amateur exchange between two friends who had both just recently had the talk with their parents. She remembered their friends teasing them about it for months, and Nova and Adrian had mutually agreed that it held little meaning and that nothing would change in their friendship. 

    Body trembling, Nova swiveled her head to face the backyard before Adrian’s lips could press against hers and she would be lost in him. She concentrated her eyes on the old playset in the yard. 

    “Do you want to play I Spy?” From the corner of her eye, she could see Adrian blink at her, confused and deflated at her sudden rejection. She dared to peek back at him when he didn’t answer. “It was your favorite game once upon a time, right?”

    Adrian gulped, staring at her for what seemed like an eternity, before he nodded, almost as if he understood what she was trying to silently convey through her eyes. She was scared, terrified even, of a kiss and what it could mean. Their friendship was one of the only things tethering her to sanity some days, at least it seemed that way. 

Please, please, please don’t hate me. I need normal right now. 

He nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

[prettywordsyouleft]

Through His Eyes - Part 9

Summary: Losing your sight after your accident was traumatic, and Jaebum’s guilt of knowing it should have been him instead creates an intricate bond between you both, as you overcome adversity and try to find your way in life again.

Genre: angst / romance

Characters: Im Jaebum x female reader

A/N: This story is emotional and raw compared to some of the content on my blog. It is in no way an attempt to glamourise or undervalue the lives of those who suffer from something similar. This story is purely fictional.

Through His Eyes will be posted every Tuesday at 10am NZST.

Index: Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 [M] | 13 - FINAL

“Hyung?”

Jaebum blinked away from his petting of Nora, his cat, and glanced at Yugyeom staring at him with some concern. “Huh?”

“I’m guessing he heard nothing, again.” He turned his head towards BamBam’s annoyed expression and he got up from the couch, moving over to where Jaebum was sitting. “Are you back here or still stuck in your head?”

“He’s been in there for months now,” Mark stated, waving his hand dismissively. “Don’t bother him.”

“I am in the room, you guys.”

Jackson let out a gasp of air dramatically. “Are you really?”

“I’m not amused by this,” Jaebum mentioned, folding his arms over his chest and picking up his cat. “You can talk without me in the room.”

“We actually want to talk with you in here though,” BamBam retorted, pushing him back down and turned off the TV they seemed to be watching.

Jaebum glanced at the four men and sighed. “What have I done so wrong now?”

“We’re worried about you.”

Mark nodded. “Jackson’s right, you’re not you. Are you okay?”

“Should I not be?”

“Okay let’s approach this differently,” Yugyeom said, flexing his fingers a little and leaned forward in his seat. “Hyung, you know one of your faults right?”

“My faults?” Jaebum glanced at him and placed Nora back down before tilting his head in confusion. “What are we talking about?”

“Hyung, you obsess over things,” BamBam announced and the other three nodded their heads. “Which can be helpful when it comes to making music because you won’t stop until it’s how you want it to sound. You have a lot of effort to offer, but you obsess over things that you value.”

“Okay, I’m not following.”

“It’s about Y/N.” Mark gave Jaebum a hard look and Jaebum glanced at him in surprise. “We know what happened has changed you-”

“She almost died!”

Jackson sighed and nodded. “We know, you both almost did and we are forever thankful to her. We like her; she is a really sweet person.”

“But don’t you think you’ve been investing far too much time and energy into her?” Yugyeom sighed and moved closer. “You can be thankful without making your entire world about her, you know.”

“Anyone would think you’re having a relationship with her.”

“Woah!” Jaebum pointed accusingly at Jackson’s statement and rapidly shook his head. “That is not happening!”

“No, we know that, but to the average person would they be able to know? You drop things that you’re doing whenever she needs you, and if you’re not able to do that, you space off with this look in your eyes like you’re trying to solve all of her life problems. Your fans are going to notice, if they haven’t already and speculate you’re dating. Then all you need is one photo taken and you’ll be the next scandal!”

“So you’re worried about my image as well as yours!”

“Hyung!” Yugyeom cried exasperatedly and shook his head. “We’re worried about you! And we get that guilt must eat at you, but you need to move on and focus on your career. We have our comeback soon and it’s going to need your full focus. You’ll run dry if you keep doing everything like you are.”

Jaebum stared at each of them, unable to respond in the way he wanted to. He couldn’t believe how lightly they seemed to regard you, to not realise how much he carried around in his chest each day for your situation. It wasn’t something he could easily brush off like everyone else wanted him to.

“We get it Jaebum,” Mark said, his warm eyes regarding Jaebum’s silence as if he could read his mind. “Your guilt is what fuels you on each time. If she hadn’t gotten hurt, she wouldn’t mean anything apart from being a good fan we’ve known for years. But because she is different now, you feel like you need to support her.”

“We’re not attacking you,” Jackson added and patted his shoulder. “We’re worried you’re carrying around too much pain and guilt from the accident and not addressing it properly.”

“And we want you to know you can turn to us. Any time.” BamBam smiled and the other three nodded.

“I need some air,” Jaebum announced shakily, getting up from the situation and moving to the exit, heading down to his car and hopping inside it. Instead of turning it on, he sat there, staring at the concrete wall numbly, unable to make himself start the vehicle or go back up into the house to approach them.

Jaebum knew they meant well. GOT7 had their fights, as any men would when they had once slept, ate and even showered together. Even with everyone moving into different apartments to accommodate their individual needs, Jaebum wouldn’t know how to cope without the other members being a regular focal point in his life. They were more than just contracted members to him, GOT7 was a brotherhood. And when one of the members were struggling, the others banded together to help lift them up.

Jaebum hadn’t been quite aware as to how he appeared to the others. More importantly, he hadn’t put any energy into it, his life only consisting of completing his schedules and checking in on you.

He couldn’t just turn his back on you either. They were right; he was invested in your life, probably more than he should be. He didn’t feel a need to change that though, his own level of commitment to you coming from a genuine place within him. Although he bounced around with how unhealthy it felt at times and tried to tell himself that, Jaebum was his happiest when he was around you. Even if you were struggling, being there to help you through gave him a sense of accomplishment.

“Maybe that’s not good either,” he murmured, his mind wandering back to what he had been thinking of when they interrupted his thoughts before. Your breaking point last week was still bothering him, and he had been trying to think of ways to help you find a creative outlet. So far, he had little plans, but Jaebum knew he had to help you find art again. The need was so great that he realised the members had been right about his focus. Until he found a way to help you, there would be no rest within his mind over the topic.

Jaebum vowed to find a solution, and then decrease his constant guidance over you. If you could be happy with your art again, then you would be at more ease within your own skin. And that would make him feel at peace as well. Smiling, Jaebum got out of the car and headed back up his apartment he had left his friends in, hoping that with some time, he would have balance back in his life.

“Jaebum?”

He spun to see Madam Cho approaching him and greeted her, smiling lightly. He had been on a few variety shows over the years with her and Jaebum found her creative mind interesting to be around. “Hello noona.”

“Oh you!” She cried playfully, swatting his arm gently but grinning all the same. “Always flattering me!”

“How could I not?” he replied with a chuckle and she nodded happily.

“I have something to ask of you. I heard you like to offer your time now and then to try new things.”

“When I have time, I do. What are you offering?”

She clapped her hands together and grinned. “I recently opened an art studio and was hoping you could help me promote it?”

“An art studio?” Jaebum repeated, letting out a small laugh. “I’m not really creative in that way.”

“I know, but you seem like the type who would give it a go!”

“I don’t know.”

“Well do you know anyone who I could ask to join?” she asked, pouting dramatically at him.

Instantly his mind thought of you and he found himself nodding. “Do you know the art scene well, noona?”

“Of course I do silly!”

“I was wondering if you could help me find a place for my friend if I come to your studio.” Madam Cho’s eyes lit up and she dragged Jaebum over to her dressing room, taking him inside so they could discuss the details.

Two weeks later, Jaebum pulled to a stop outside the address on the GPS and turned off the car. You unclipped your seatbelt and then got out. After making sure he had covered himself accurately, Jaebum followed you and helped you inside the quaint little building, following the small corridor to the back of the unit and towards the warm light waiting.

“Where are we?” you asked softly as he pressed a hand gently into your back, prodding you along.

“You’ll know in a moment.” Jaebum opened the door and led you inside, greeting the older woman waiting for you both. Madam Cho rushed to his side excitedly.

“Oh Jaebum, you’re here!”

“This is my friend. Y/N, this is Madam Cho, you know who that is right?”

You were far too still, your face frozen with recognition of the smells around you. Jaebum nudged you gently and you flinched before turning around. “Jaebum, why are we in an art studio?”

“We’re here to do some painting today!” the infectious older woman announced and slipped her arm around your shoulders. She gently led you over to an easel and helped you take a seat. “Do you know what’s in front of you?”

“Jaebum?” you called out, fear evident in her tone. He walked over to your side and reached for your hand.

“Relax.”

“I can’t, you’ve brought me to the one place I don’t want to be in. Can we leave please?”

Madam Cho let out a little laugh and you jumped again. “But I was such a fan of your painting The Rose two years ago.”

“You… you saw that?”

“My dear, I was one of the people who judged it. Jaebum is a friend of mine and I asked him to come and paint in my new studio to give me some hype. Of course he told me about you and I had to meet you!”

“You did?” You moved your head around in attempts to locate him, and Jaebum smiled, encouraging the woman to continue.

“Now, shall we paint?”

“I can’t, I can no longer see.”

“Painting doesn’t come from seeing, but feeling. Shall we start feeling again today?”

It was hard to push you like this, to overload your senses in a way Jaebum hadn’t been so aggressive to do in the past, but as he watched you gingerly take the paint brush in your hand, he knew you were ready as well to find what you were capable of.

_________________

[Part 10]

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[princetokkii]

Past or Nightmare?

These 2 things are so different and have deep meaning for me.

For me:

The past is something that contains many lessons i can learn, both good and bad. While the nightmare is something i want to forget, all in it, forever.

A few years ago, i had a relationship. But, honestly, until now I don’t know if it was a relationship because we ourselves different from most couples out there. Other than that, my mother also always assumed we were just close friend like me with my other male friends.

Different from most couples;

We barely met face to face, maybe I could count the number of times we met. I always waited for him to ask me to go out, but that was very rarely done. Even my friends said if we sould just met if we have a desire into it. I didn't mean to not want to ask him, but when every time I asked him to meet, there was always something that was blocking us, whether outside or inside factors. So, several times I gave some code so we could meet, but as if he thought it was just a joke. He always said if he was busy, i was thinking what he was doing besides playing games. and, (stupidly) I always sat still and believed that he was not a 'problematic' partner.

it was my first relationship, so I didn't know how to behave as a lover. Some of my friends say that I have almost no 'romance'.

Based on my mother;

Every time I meet my parents' friends, they always ask me whether I have a boyfriend or not, and casually, my mother answers them if I don't. and even, in front of myself, my mother said 'he is not your lover, he is just a close friend of yours, like the others.'

Daily from time to time....

Basically, we were a long-distance couple since we were in high school. He was too possessive of me all the time, he even asked me to do this and that and forbade this and that, and if I didn't do what he wanted, he would be angry with me. At that time, I could even count how many times a week he was mad at me. So, i couldn’t bear with that anymore and i was sick of it. So, because of some misunderstanding, i was the one who asked him to break up. then, days from days gone by, but suddenly I found myself stalking him by tweeting some ‘sad’ tweets about how i regretting my decision to break up, (wait, I think I will throw up right now), until we have had a big fight several times on social media. Yes, i know it was a childish thing i’ve ever done.

But! suddenly he said if he still 'loved me' and finally asked me if I wanted to go back with him. Of course... I answered yes. I guess I didn't have time to think at that time. I'm blinded by love. So, we behave like a couple as usual. He also changed. However, I think this change is kind of change that I never imagined. He did not return to possessive anymore, but he was too ignorant. I felt like he didn't even care about some of the problems I was facing at the time. I didn't even know if he understood me or not, until now. And, some things were still the same. He was still the narcissistic man I knew, full of ambitions that were too high above the clouds. sometimes I want to give him advice, but I know he won't listen to me. besides, we also rarely see each other, even last year we only met once. And because of that too, my friends told me 'In that case, you could also date any man, he didn't even ask to meet when he was at home. Just leave him Your two opportunities are wasted in vain. '

This is the peak of my problem. I felt like i was wasting my time on useless things. I felt like i was doing something that wasn’t useful to me. I wanted something more, but I, myself didn’t know what I want. And he was changing from time to time. he rarely gave news, busy again with the game on his cellphone. I was bored and doubted every sentence he said. made me always think if he told the truth only and not just lies or pleasures. so, I guess at that moment I felt like I lost my desires and feelings for him. so, I lived normaly without any feelings, and I didn’t talk about important things with him anymore. I realized i was increasingly doing things that were not useful. Until finally, at the end of the year, he just left and didn’t give news until when I had a birthday.

I'm not the type of woman who likes to ask for clarity or anything if that guy doesn't show it to me. I just want real proof, but he didn't give it to me. So, at that very moment, I planned to ask him again to break up, but I had time and wanted to wait exactly the day after my birthday. but, he didn't give me a word or an apology either. So, without hesitation again, i asked him to break up and asked him to immediately send some of my books that he had bought for me. (at that time he bought some books for me but he often stalled and did not send my book on time, making me angry until now). (GOSH IM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW LOOKING BACK AT MY STUPIDITY MY SECOND CHANCE)

[REWIND]

During the relationship, I never complained to my parents. and when I told my parents if he had said 'my mother didn't like you' to me, my father was furious and said straightforwardly to me, 'daddy didn't even like him since i first saw him in our house’ wow i’m amazed somehow. I even thought, I have never met his mother, and his mother had said something bad to me even before i had a chance to meet her? Ridiculous. Not only that, even his mother looked down on me because I went to a private college and not a public college. Like, it was my decision which college I could enter and why did she have to act like she had the best son in the whole world? Bitch please. Well, i think she should know what her son has done to me :) and how his son behaved all that time :) bet he didn’t want to admit that. huh.

Every time I think of my relationship with him at that time, I am truly annoyed and disgusted. For what I want it at that time? I left all the matters related to my writing career and my fangirling habits only for him? I must have been so blinded by love at that time. nope. it was a moment of love where I only feel a moment's comfort from him.

This is truly a nightmare for me. A nightmare that I don’t want to experience anymore. I want to forget all of them.

That's why I made this short story. The true story of my first love life I lived in vain. This relationship is very traumatizing me now. in fact, I don't think I want to find another man. Now, as I live my life that I find very extraordinary, I realize that if I could have been a talented writer and was known by everyone if i hadn’t been with him , I would have been able to do many things if i hadn’t known him. I am grateful that this is not too late for me. Now, I'm a writer. officially. I will publish my book through an online book and I always do a lot of things that I always wanted now. My advice to everyone. never be blinded by a moment of love. You can't judge men by their sweet talk without real proof. Never have a relationship with a man who hinders your career and your desire for a world that can give you everything. You can surpass yourself, even without the help of men who only have temporary desires.

[stormcrawler75]

For the prompt thingy, Reluctant Caretaker With Janus and Infant!Patton? (Aka sunshine pure baby and unqualified papa)

Characters: Janus, Patton, Virgil, mentions of Logan, Remus, and Roman

Warnings: Coma, drunk driving, bruises, stitches

“Unnnnnnnnn’caaaaaaaaa, ‘Anu!”

Janus groaned, cracking his eyes open and rubbing at his eyes sleepily. He glanced at his alarm clock and after blinking a few times, he groaned again when he saw just how early it was. “Fucking- ugh,” he muttered, rubbing his hand down his face. He sighed and got up, slowly walking out of the room.

“Unnnnnnnnn’caaaaaaaaa, ‘Anu!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Janus muttered, yawning so hard that his jaw clicked. He walked into the room that had been nothing but a guest room a few days ago - when things had still been normal and Janus didn’t have to worry about raising a baby - and to the old crib that he had gotten three splinters setting up. 

His nephew was standing up in the crib and looking up at Janus with wide eyes and a bright grin. He bounced up and down and made grabby hands at Janus. “Un’ca ‘Anu’, up! Up!”

Janus yawned and picked Patton up, bracing him against his hip. “Yes, Uncle Janus is up now. Though, the fact that either of us is up at four fifteen is a crime,” he told the one-year-old seriously. 

And in return for the great wisdom that he had given his nephew, Patton reached up and grabbed Janus’ nose. Well... Janus supposed that he had gotten worse feedback from people who he had given advice to.

“Alright now, no playing games now,” Janus hummed sleepily, gently moving Patton’s hand away and walking out of the used-to-be-a-guest-room. He glanced out the window and sighed. The stupid sun could already be seen peeking up over the horizon. “Are you hungry? Is that why you woke me up?”

“’anna ‘ee Daddy,”

Janus froze right at the top of the stairs, feeling like he had just been slapped. He had been so good pushing back and ignoring the heart-crushing grief, confusion, and helplessness that the last few days had brought. And with three words, his one-year-old nephew had almost completely toppled all the walls that Janus had put up to try and cope. Janus took a shaky breath, eyes burning with unshed tears. “I’m afraid that you can’t see your Daddy right now,” he said softly, walking down the stairs. “You’re living with me for now, Patton. I... will explain in the morning, okay?”

Patton gave him a look with so much of Virgil’s stubbornness that Janus almost let out a sob. Virgil had barely had Patton for a year and his son was already so much like him. 

“For now, let’s think of better things,” Janus said with forced chipper in his voice. He walked into the kitchen grabbed a small box of cheerios from his cupboard. “Even though it’s far too early to be up and awake, five o’clock is also the time when the old cartoons come on. I used to watch these shows with your daddy when I was just a toddler and he was your age.” He managed a weak smile as he walked into the living room. “Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“Yes,” Patton chirped, grinning at Janus widely that wrinkled the stark white bandaid that he had gotten at the hospital. “Yes!”

Janus chuckled, sitting down in his favourite old armchair, shifting Patton so he was in one arm so he could open up the box of cheerios. “Did you watch these shows with your daddy? Or did Mr. Lawyer show his son more serious shows? Educational programs?” He got a blank stare in response and decided that it was far too early in the morning to use big words with his nephew. So instead he just switched the channel until he found old reruns of ‘The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show”.

Besides, Patton’s excited cry of, “T’eety!” made Janus think that maybe this wasn’t the first time he had watched these shows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Janus’ shoes clicked against the hospital tiles, the only sound in the eerily quiet hallway. He could hear distant coughs and the quiet sound of people talking but here, in the long term care section of the hospital at eight o’clock in the morning, there wasn’t much noise. And it made Janus so sad. His poor baby brother didn’t belong in a place like this.

He stopped outside the last door in the hallway, knocking gently at the half-open door. “Good morning,” he said softly, walking in and draping his coat over one of the chairs. He sat down with a sigh. “I’m sorry that I’m here so early but your son woke me up at four AM. I left him with my friends so I can come to see you. Please don’t worry about your son, Virgil. Logan and Remus are good people and they already love Patton." He took off his bowler hat and put it in his lap, tapping his finger against it gently. “Do you have anything to say about that?”

Of course Virgil didn’t. Though, Janus supposed that he couldn’t be too upset with his brother. It was rather hard to speak with tubes down your throat. And the fact that Virgil was in a coma made it even harder, Janus was sure.

Virgil was lying completely still on his hospital bed, looking strangely peaceful. He didn’t seem bothered at the dark purple bruises on his cheeks or the stitched-up cut on his forehead. And then Janus remembered how he had looked a few days ago when he had first been brought to the hospital and had to look away.

“Your friend Roman came to my house the other day,” Janus said, forcing himself to continue. He had to speak talking. He feared what would come out of his mouth if he didn’t. “I must say, Roman may not be as interesting as his brother but he is a good lawyer. He’s pushing me to press charges and he is assuring me that I would have a very good case.” He snorted and shook his head. “Though, I suppose that you don’t have to be a good lawyer to know that driving while is against the law.”

When there was no response to his words, Janus sighed and reached forward, gently putting a hand over Virgil’s bruised one. “Do you remember how happy I was when you made me Patton’s Godfather,” he whispered softly and with a slight tremble to his words. “Well, I change my mind. Virgil... I have no idea how to care for a baby. You have to wake up so you can raise your son. Please.” He laughed and blinked, vision turning a little blurry. “I am begging, Virgil. You have to wake up. I can’t do this. I don’t know how to do this.”

The only response Janus received was the steady beeping of Virgil’s heart monitor. It looked like Janus was on his own for now.

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[hobiheavenly]

Karma’s Cravings

✧ Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

✧ Multichapter, Coffee Shop AU, E2L

✧ Word Count: 3.9k 

✧Summary: Your life is going idyllically with your business with the exception of having to work with Min Yoongi who disapproves of your comercial tactics. but when one day a medium tells you he is to be the love of your life you are quick to shut her down but running away from fate can come with cause consequences.  

✧ A.N: Ok so I know I promised a Hobi fic to be my first but I had this idea and I just had to develop it. I edited this from a fic I did years ago but I knew Yoongi would fill this au with ease! hope you enjoy it <3

Part 1

Life was blissful. It was the morning peace that filled your heart with happiness as you prepared a fresh batch of new cookies. You felt proud of yourself for the idyllic peace you had manage to create. not just because you were doing what you loved but also because you were doing it on your own. even when it wasn’t easy to get to where you were you had finally reached that part of life you wanted to be.

At a young age and with the help of your best friend Seokjin, you started your dream of owning your very own coffee shop. Seokjin was the one who cooked and you were the one who made the designs and the names as well. To many, especially your parents, this was just a ridiculous idea. That you would go broke in a matter of weeks. Turns out, that same  business they doubted from the start was rising and booming with clients. And even the name of the shop appealed to them, "Constant Cravings".

When you searched for the best spot, you found a great space located near your home and was located in the best location for people who needed sweets and caffeine in their daily lives. One bad part, your new boss. Well he wasn't your boss, but he was the manager of the space where you had your coffee shop. His name was so bittersweet and the only mention of it made have the chills, Min Yoongi.

But today was not the day to think about the sourman that is your boss. Today you had a big gig to complete. You were offered the chance to make cookies for a big party that the owners of the space had every year for Valentines Day. You were especially excited since you would earn a lot of money that day. Bad news was, Seokjin reported sick that day so there was no one to replace him and you were left with all the work. Luckily enough you knew the recipe by heart and all you needed to do was bake all the batches for the party.

Once you got to the party, you put all the cookies in display and all of the most important people were there. The owner of the space was there, along with his son. There were many new people you hadn't seen before, great NEW customers! There was a woman in a big red tent, outside was a sign that read, "The Grand Madame Karma, she sees it all and knows it all".

"Yeah sure, all I need to know right now is if this thing is going to work or not, I really need the money"  you thought.

The day went on and the party seemed tranquil, and by that I meant boring. "Don't these people know how to party? All they talk about is business and money. Its Valentines Day! A time of love and caring, well if I had a boyfriend it would. Well, who needs a man when you have a successful shop?" you thought. Normally you’d speak your mind and not let any opinion inside you, but seeing that you would risk potential new customers so you kept your mouth shut.

It was almost over everyone was moving on from the event and really nothing interesting really happened. The red tent was still standing tall in front. Maybe it was curiosity or maybe it’s the excitement of the unknown but you were still curious about Madame Karma. To make an excuse to go inside you went to give her one of her famous cookies and a cup of steaming coffee. You might not get a reading but at least a cookie never hurt anybody. Inside there was a woman, black long hair, around her 50s with long red nails to match her the red cape and on the table with the crystal ball right at the center. Typical. You gave a pleasant smile to the woman, offering her the cookie and beverage. Madame Karma smiled tenderly and felt relieved.

“Thanks a million my dear! Today is a cold day and a cookie is just what I need to get my romantic flow going. All I see in these people, or what they ask, is how their business will be. It’s Valentines Day and no one has asked me about romance!”

“Maybe because they are too stuck up to even think beyond their stupid computers. I call them "Informal Clones" they are too serious and superficial” you giggled.

“Now there is a great opinion I've been waiting to hear all day!” said Madame Karma, she looked at you and up and down “you know I used to have legs like yours, when I was your age.”

“Well you are going to love this cookie, it's called “Legs For Days", plus it's the shape of a cute high heel” You felt proud for your cookie naming abilities it was cute and sassy just like your brand was.

“Oh, god this is the most delicious cookie I have eaten, and trust me I have eaten too many cookies in my life” the medium laughed “What’s your name dear?”

“It’s ___, and I’m assuming you’re Madame Karma?”

“The one, the only, knows all, sees all!” she praised herself raising her arms up dramatically and laughed loudly at her over the top performance. “so tell me ___ how much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house! I was going to bring it to you earlier, but as you can see my business is full.”

“I always give something in return. Tell you what, how about I read you your fortune as payment for such a wonderful cookie”

“Sounds good” you shrugged. As you sat in front of Madame Karma you started to feel rather giddy. You had always been curious to find out about her future, but never had the time to go to an actual medium.

“You have a bright aura, my dear. It has a tight connection” Madame Karma took out a stack of cards and put them on the table “I will employ the card with you, pick out 6 cards with your left hand” You did as told and gave her the cards. After that Madame Karma put them in groups of three and began to read the first group “This represents your past. I see three people, two men and a woman, I'm guessing they are your mother and father and brother, am I right?” You nodded, lucky guess. “Well I see disapproval in them, especially your father. He didn't want you to open your shop.”

You nodded once more. “He felt that I should go to college and I said I wanted to do a project with a friend. That really didn’t sit well with him being that I was supposed to become a lawyer or even an administrator of a huge company. I never cared for math, I even sucked at it in school so it wasn't great. I went on to this business because it was something I enjoyed.”

“Well just as you mention  I saw that decision in here! Now let’s go to your present. I see a great success in your business, although I see a presence of someone that pulls you down, like a big spine on your back.”

Immediately you thought of the pompous arrogant Min Yoongi that always criticized your business place calling it a waste of time and that the names of your creations were too scandalous. What did that jerk know about creativity?

“what will happen to that spine? Will he go away?”

“Patience, my dear” said Madame “wait till I get to the future. Right now we are in your present. Even though your professional life is boosting with great things, I see your personal life is a bit contrary to it. I see loneliness. No masculine company, but…..”

Oh she knew how to peak your interest… “But what?”

“I see someone on the horizon…”

“Please tell me it someone nice”you begged. It has been a while since you had been on a date, and the last one was a total lame waste of time!

“I see, someone who is hooked into your professional life. Now lets see the last row, that represents your instant future” after reading the last row Madame Karma looked at you with a half smile “do you remember when we talked about that spine up your ass? I can see he is a man, close to you although not in a personal way. Maybe a work partner” she looked at you with a gleam in her eye “do you know who Im talking about?”

“I can think of one man that I consider a spine up my ass” you rolled your eyes “He is the one who takes care of the building.”

“Yes I see he is a man of power.”

“Yeah, a powerful idiot!”

“What's his name?”

“Min Yoongi” you answered “Can you tell me if he will leave soon? Tell me he is going to be transferred to Siberia? Antarctica? Africa?”

“No. On the contrary. His connection with you will change completely. He will change from "pain in my ass" to "I can’t live without him".”

You dropped your jaw and began to laugh your guts off “ Oh that’s a good one! You must be talking about another spine up my ass, because I know it’s not him.

“Sweetheart, I assure you that he is. These are the cards, and Karma doesn't lie. Plus, you can’t escape Karma. If you try to escape from it, you will be forever cursed. And trust me, you don't want that to happen” Madame Karma grabbed your hands and looked at you in the eyes “Min Yoongi, even when you think he is the most insufferable man in the world, is the love of your life.”

_____________________________

Min Yoongi  was looking at you from across the garden and as he saw you, he felt his body feeling tense. There was just something about you that didn't feel right, at least not for him. He didn't understand what it was, but you were strange and you always got to his head making him irritated. Surely it was because of your notorious shop with all those extravagant and sensual names plus the way that you decorated the place was not exactly decent. I mean, who ever called a cookie "Chocolate Orgasm" or a coffee called "Hot, wet, and wild"?

The first day the store opened he went inside for a cappuccino so he could go to work, when suddenly you came to the counter with a great smile and asked him if he wanted the specialty of the day, "A Slow Trip To Pleasure". That happened less than a year a go and he still remember the way he had jumped when he saw such an innocent looking girl pronounce those words. But it was more the amazement of the tone in your voice and the spark in your eye that seemed to invite him as he had stood in shock. He had never been so nervous with a woman in all his life than he had been that day in the coffee shop.

If it weren't for the fact that "Constant Cravings" was the shop that produced more profits in the entire space, he would have canceled your contract a long time ago. Having you around caused too much problems. Especially since you were a complete opposite of him. You were outgoing and outspoken, while he was a calm person who minded his business and just prefered the silence. He preferred the calm of having a boss than doing all by yourself. Every time he would tell you that the way you sold things were too extravagant, but you would just laugh and tell him that it was exactly that extravagance, or more likely the sex appeal, is what sold your items the most.

True it as it may be, it was just too much and there were rules in the contract that established that you must control her decorations, but since no one ever complained things stayed as they were. But soon would come the day that you would regret this, since every time you changed your front window decoration you exploited more and more the theme of sexuality.

He looked around and saw you standing outside of the tent of the medium he had assigned for entertainment for the party. He saw your eyes, looking like two big crystals that shine like the sky in a hot spring day after a great storm. He tried to look away but instead he looked at you up and down looking at every centimeter of your body. You were far from looking sexy compared to the other business women in the party. In fact you were in your uniform, a white blouse and black pants. So then why did he feel so strange? It was ridiculous to feel attracted to a woman who he didn't even know on a personal field. But every time he saw you he imagine your lips moving slowly on him offering him a "Slow Trip To Pleasure".

“Are you going to visit the Medium?”

Yoongi shook his head, as if coming out of a trance and looked beside him. There standing was Hoseok, his best friend, with a cookie in his hand and a great smile, since he was always optimistic.

“Excuse me?” asked Yoongi.

“I said, are you going to go see the medium?”

“Naa! I don't believe in that gibberish!”

“Why don't you calm yourself down and have a good time? It’s your party!” Hoseok cheered him. It was true, he had organized everything to impress the owner of the space who wasn't especially fond of having a party, but seeing the opportunity to get new customers and keep happy his investors. He left Yoongi with the job and he put it in himself to make the best party ever.

Hoseok gave a small punch in his ribs and gave a sneaky smile to Yoongi “Seems like ____ is getting her cards read.”

“You know her?” Yoongi asked surprised.

“How can I not know the owner of the coffee shop that is close to my office? She is a very sweet gal.”

“Sweet wouldn't be the right term to describe her” said Yoongi smirking.

“You're right, the correct term would be "Intensely Hot"” Hoseok said with a seductive smile. A certain sense of jealousy began to grow in Yoongi's stomach but he didn't listen to it and looked at you.

“Hot? You think so?”

“Are you kidding? You're the manager of the space and you haven't noticed her?”

“ I've noticed her” Yoongi said deffensively

“And haven't you noticed that ____ is a hotty with a body? I mean she is so hot she could make a pool go on fire!”

“Well that may be true but her products and her technique for selling them left much to be desired.”

“Well its those product of hers that keep me alive! Yesterday I tried this new cookie called "Sugar kiss" and I'm telling you, that woman can make a grown man cry with them! They are extremely delicious! I wished she could make this cookie called "Wild Sex In The Back Seat Of A Car", I would sure try that…..with her.”

Yoongi looked at his best friend with a death glare and  Hoseok smiled innocently “Sorry dude, I forgot I was walking on your turf.”

“What in blazes are you talking about?”

“Dude, you gave me the death glare! That means you are interested in her. Plus you haven't stopped looking at her since she went into the tent. For one thing I'm happy that you finally are into a girl that isn't a total stuck up. Bad thing for me is now don't have a chance. Maybe she has a sister.”

“Ok I am NOT interested in _____! First of all, if I'm looking at her it’s because I'm trying to see what she is going to do next because she always wants to irritate me by doing something out of the ordinary. Second of all, I am not always interested in stuck up girls. And third of all, if you want her you can have her.”

“If you continue to say that I'm going to end up believing that, and just so you know you do date uptight, stuck up women, all the time! Every girl is a copy of the other! Boring to hell too. But ___ is not boring in any way! Good thing you don't like her cause I've been hitting on her all week and she has been sweet but just that, sweet. Could be she has a boyfriend.”

Yoongi got relieved that you didn't pay attention to Hoseok’s advances but suddenly felt frustrated that there was a possibility you could have a formal boyfriend. Wait, why the hell was he worrying? He didn't care for you personal life!

“Come on, lets get your future read! Maybe we can find out if there is a woman that can shake your chubber! I bet it’s ___!”

“Why don't you go and see about yourself” Yoongi said “You need a woman more than me.”

“I already got a date with a girl I met in the supermarket, her name is Momo and she was talking about Broccoli when I met her.”

“But you hate Broccoli.”

“Well for that babe, it was well worth it. You should’ve seen her body to know what I'm talking about. Besides you need a spin around the town, meet a girl that you can have a good time. When is the last time you had sex?”

“I am not telling you” the last thing Yoongi needed was his best friend laughing at his dried up sex life. He would die of laughter if he knew.

“Yoongi, either you tell me, or I'm going directly to _____ and telling her that you want her.”

“God you're like the nosy brother I never wanted! Two months! There! Happy?”

Hoseok’s jaw dropped “ DUDE! Your dick is going to fall off if you don't do something about it!”

“Oh brother! Do you always think about this or is the Valentines Day spirit swelling you mind and apparently your dick too?” Yoongi rolled his eyes “I am going to see if I can get a girl if it will get you off my case!”

“Ok, but let's have fun tonight, go see the medium, she can tell you about your love life! Maybe ____ can get it to be more fun.”

“NOT HER!”

“Ok but at least she can give us a clue to whom” Hoseok patted him on his shoulder and got him close to the tent and they saw you coming out. You looked at Yoongi and then quickly turned to Hoseok, almost avoiding his gaze.

“Hobi, I'm glad to see you” you smiled tenderly “Are you missing my double coffee with no foam?”

“That and your cookies” he smiled back and winked “they are the best things I have ever had in my life!”

You smiled back and Yoongi could have sworn that seemed to be the most seductive thing. Damn! He loved contagious smiles and particularly this woman had the sexiest contagious smile ever! Curse his bad luck!

“Min Yoongi” You said in a serious voice.

“_____” he greeted.

Seeing Hoseok and Yoongi was an odd match considering the fact that they looked like polar opposites, “Are you acquainted?”

“Yes we are very good friends since high school”  the manager said all serious.

“Now that's something you don't see every day” You laughed.

“It seems you are surprised to see that I have friends.”

“Well at least one who is very charming.”

“I can be charming. I am just not that patient with people who live to irritate me daily with their over the top decorations to a shop that leaves very little to the imagination. The mannequins I saw in the morning on the front window of your shop were completely naked!”

“I'm sorry but my mannequins are completely dressed” you began to protest.

“In an evident way like a slap.”

“Is that an invitation?” your eyes sparked with a flame of anger.

“I didn't know you had violent tendencies.”

“Only with people who irritate me and put me nervous”

“Speaking of nervous” he pointed with her index finger “your front window is….”

“Provocative? Interesting?”

“ Excessive!”

“Thanks for the compliment!” You smiled.

“THAT WAS NOT A COMPLIMENT!”

“Coming from you, the fact that you actually noticed the front window is a compliment in itself. Tell me did you really just look at it or were you so wrapped in yourself that when you were looking at your reflection you accidentally saw it?”

“Evidently our last conversation about the decoration was but alas forgotten” he rolled his eyes, his signature move, “Seeing as how you have such a short attention spam”

“Don't you dare insult my intellect! I know what you said! I know what I said! Don't come up to me with those airs of superiority and insult me.”

“Well if you can remember then you must have not heard”.

“I know how to hear and to remember, but I also know this exquisite word called "ignore" if you want I can get a dictionary for you so you can look it up! Oh and FYI you wouldn't know creativity even if it bit you up the ass!”

“You obviously don't know me”

“Oh I know you very well, Mr. Informal Clone!” you looked at him up and down with certain air of despise.

“I have that feeling too, Miss. I dont ever listen to my boss!” he said ironically, “how lucky for both of us.”

“I wouldn't employ that term in this case. But I see we finally agree in something!”

“I think it is the first time” he smirked.

“Maybe you should come by my shop, I just made a new cookie in the shape of a pair of lips” you smiled before adding “It's called, "BITE ME!"

Hoseok tried his hardest not to laugh but obviously it was in vain. Yoongi turned around and glared at his friend. Damn, he had forgotten about his friend and of Madame Karma as well, who was standing behind you. He scoweled at you and went to Madame Karma

“No thanks, I'm not in the mood for coffee. But maybe you can give hobi, seeing how he LOOOVES your coffee and cookies” then he turned to Madame Karma and shook her hand “Madame Karma I am….”

“Min Yoongi” she whispered amazed.

“Yes, well I came to see if you can tell me my future” he said without showing surprise as to how she could know his name.

“Your aura is bright…. exceptionally bright” Madame Karma said as she saw Yoongi's hand then she turned to you and made a movement with her head “____, dear, please leave. Mr. Min and I have a lot to talk about.”

Yoongi couldn't think of anything he had to ask Madame Karma in particulat. He was guessing that she would read some plain old cards say some mumbo jumbo and he would just nod. Then he would thank her and leave. How bad could it be?

Life was blissful. It was the morning peace that filled your heart with happiness as you prepared a fresh batch of new cookies. You felt proud of yourself for the idyllic peace you had manage to create. not just because you were doing what you loved but also because you were doing it on your own. even when it wasn’t easy to get to where you were you had finally reached that part of life you wanted to be.

At a young age and with the help of your best friend Seokjin, you started your dream of owning your very own coffee shop. Seokjin was the one who cooked and you were the one who made the designs and the names as well. To many, especially your parents, this was just a ridiculous idea. That you would go broke in a matter of weeks. Turns out, that same  business they doubted from the start was rising and booming with clients. And even the name of the shop appealed to them, "Constant Cravings".

When you searched for the best spot, you found a great space located near your home and was located in the best location for people who needed sweets and caffeine in their daily lives. One bad part, your new boss. Well he wasn't your boss, but he was the manager of the space where you had your coffee shop. His name was so bittersweet and the only mention of it made have the chills, Min Yoongi.

But today was not the day to think about the sourman that is your boss. Today you had a big gig to complete. You were offered the chance to make cookies for a big party that the owners of the space had every year for Valentines Day. You were especially excited since you would earn a lot of money that day. Bad news was, Seokjin reported sick that day so there was no one to replace him and you were left with all the work. Luckily enough you knew the recipe by heart and all you needed to do was bake all the batches for the party.

Once you got to the party, you put all the cookies in display and all of the most important people were there. The owner of the space was there, along with his son. There were many new people you hadn't seen before, great NEW customers! There was a woman in a big red tent, outside was a sign that read, "The Grand Madame Karma, she sees it all and knows it all".

"Yeah sure, all I need to know right now is if this thing is going to work or not, I really need the money"  you thought.

The day went on and the party seemed tranquil, and by that I meant boring. "Don't these people know how to party? All they talk about is business and money. Its Valentines Day! A time of love and caring, well if I had a boyfriend it would. Well, who needs a man when you have a successful shop?" you thought. Normally you’d speak your mind and not let any opinion inside you, but seeing that you would risk potential new customers so you kept your mouth shut.

It was almost over everyone was moving on from the event and really nothing interesting really happened. The red tent was still standing tall in front. Maybe it was curiosity or maybe it’s the excitement of the unknown but you were still curious about Madame Karma. To make an excuse to go inside you went to give her one of her famous cookies and a cup of steaming coffee. You might not get a reading but at least a cookie never hurt anybody. Inside there was a woman, black long hair, around her 50s with long red nails to match her the red cape and on the table with the crystal ball right at the center. Typical. You gave a pleasant smile to the woman, offering her the cookie and beverage. Madame Karma smiled tenderly and felt relieved.

“Thanks a million my dear! Today is a cold day and a cookie is just what I need to get my romantic flow going. All I see in these people, or what they ask, is how their business will be. It’s Valentines Day and no one has asked me about romance!”

“Maybe because they are too stuck up to even think beyond their stupid computers. I call them "Informal Clones" they are too serious and superficial” you giggled.

“Now there is a great opinion I've been waiting to hear all day!” said Madame Karma, she looked at you and up and down “you know I used to have legs like yours, when I was your age.”

“Well you are going to love this cookie, it's called “Legs For Days", plus it's the shape of a cute high heel” You felt proud for your cookie naming abilities it was cute and sassy just like your brand was.

“Oh, god this is the most delicious cookie I have eaten, and trust me I have eaten too many cookies in my life” the medium laughed “What’s your name dear?”

“It’s ___, and I’m assuming you’re Madame Karma?”

“The one, the only, knows all, sees all!” she praised herself raising her arms up dramatically and laughed loudly at her over the top performance. “so tell me ___ how much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house! I was going to bring it to you earlier, but as you can see my business is full.”

“I always give something in return. Tell you what, how about I read you your fortune as payment for such a wonderful cookie”

“Sounds good” you shrugged. As you sat in front of Madame Karma you started to feel rather giddy. You had always been curious to find out about her future, but never had the time to go to an actual medium.

“You have a bright aura, my dear. It has a tight connection” Madame Karma took out a stack of cards and put them on the table “I will employ the card with you, pick out 6 cards with your left hand” You did as told and gave her the cards. After that Madame Karma put them in groups of three and began to read the first group “This represents your past. I see three people, two men and a woman, I'm guessing they are your mother and father and brother, am I right?” You nodded, lucky guess. “Well I see disapproval in them, especially your father. He didn't want you to open your shop.”

You nodded once more. “He felt that I should go to college and I said I wanted to do a project with a friend. That really didn’t sit well with him being that I was supposed to become a lawyer or even an administrator of a huge company. I never cared for math, I even sucked at it in school so it wasn't great. I went on to this business because it was something I enjoyed.”

“Well just as you mention  I saw that decision in here! Now let’s go to your present. I see a great success in your business, although I see a presence of someone that pulls you down, like a big spine on your back.”

Immediately you thought of the pompous arrogant Min Yoongi that always criticized your business place calling it a waste of time and that the names of your creations were too scandalous. What did that jerk know about creativity?

“what will happen to that spine? Will he go away?”

“Patience, my dear” said Madame “wait till I get to the future. Right now we are in your present. Even though your professional life is boosting with great things, I see your personal life is a bit contrary to it. I see loneliness. No masculine company, but…..”

Oh she knew how to peak your interest… “But what?”

“I see someone on the horizon…”

“Please tell me it someone nice”you begged. It has been a while since you had been on a date, and the last one was a total lame waste of time!

“I see, someone who is hooked into your professional life. Now lets see the last row, that represents your instant future” after reading the last row Madame Karma looked at you with a half smile “do you remember when we talked about that spine up your ass? I can see he is a man, close to you although not in a personal way. Maybe a work partner” she looked at you with a gleam in her eye “do you know who Im talking about?”

“I can think of one man that I consider a spine up my ass” you rolled your eyes “He is the one who takes care of the building.”

“Yes I see he is a man of power.”

“Yeah, a powerful idiot!”

“What's his name?”

“Min Yoongi” you answered “Can you tell me if he will leave soon? Tell me he is going to be transferred to Siberia? Antarctica? Africa?”

“No. On the contrary. His connection with you will change completely. He will change from "pain in my ass" to "I can’t live without him".”

You dropped your jaw and began to laugh your guts off “ Oh that’s a good one! You must be talking about another spine up my ass, because I know it’s not him.

“Sweetheart, I assure you that he is. These are the cards, and Karma doesn't lie. Plus, you can’t escape Karma. If you try to escape from it, you will be forever cursed. And trust me, you don't want that to happen” Madame Karma grabbed your hands and looked at you in the eyes “Min Yoongi, even when you think he is the most insufferable man in the world, is the love of your life.”

_____________________________

Min Yoongi  was looking at you from across the garden and as he saw you, he felt his body feeling tense. There was just something about you that didn't feel right, at least not for him. He didn't understand what it was, but you were strange and you always got to his head making him irritated. Surely it was because of your notorious shop with all those extravagant and sensual names plus the way that you decorated the place was not exactly decent. I mean, who ever called a cookie "Chocolate Orgasm" or a coffee called "Hot, wet, and wild"?

The first day the store opened he went inside for a cappuccino so he could go to work, when suddenly you came to the counter with a great smile and asked him if he wanted the specialty of the day, "A Slow Trip To Pleasure". That happened less than a year a go and he still remember the way he had jumped when he saw such an innocent looking girl pronounce those words. But it was more the amazement of the tone in your voice and the spark in your eye that seemed to invite him as he had stood in shock. He had never been so nervous with a woman in all his life than he had been that day in the coffee shop.

If it weren't for the fact that "Constant Cravings" was the shop that produced more profits in the entire space, he would have canceled your contract a long time ago. Having you around caused too much problems. Especially since you were a complete opposite of him. You were outgoing and outspoken, while he was a calm person who minded his business and just prefered the silence. He preferred the calm of having a boss than doing all by yourself. Every time he would tell you that the way you sold things were too extravagant, but you would just laugh and tell him that it was exactly that extravagance, or more likely the sex appeal, is what sold your items the most.

True it as it may be, it was just too much and there were rules in the contract that established that you must control her decorations, but since no one ever complained things stayed as they were. But soon would come the day that you would regret this, since every time you changed your front window decoration you exploited more and more the theme of sexuality.

He looked around and saw you standing outside of the tent of the medium he had assigned for entertainment for the party. He saw your eyes, looking like two big crystals that shine like the sky in a hot spring day after a great storm. He tried to look away but instead he looked at you up and down looking at every centimeter of your body. You were far from looking sexy compared to the other business women in the party. In fact you were in your uniform, a white blouse and black pants. So then why did he feel so strange? It was ridiculous to feel attracted to a woman who he didn't even know on a personal field. But every time he saw you he imagine your lips moving slowly on him offering him a "Slow Trip To Pleasure".

“Are you going to visit the Medium?”

Yoongi shook his head, as if coming out of a trance and looked beside him. There standing was Hoseok, his best friend, with a cookie in his hand and a great smile, since he was always optimistic.

“Excuse me?” asked Yoongi.

“I said, are you going to go see the medium?”

“Naa! I don't believe in that gibberish!”

“Why don't you calm yourself down and have a good time? It’s your party!” Hoseok cheered him. It was true, he had organized everything to impress the owner of the space who wasn't especially fond of having a party, but seeing the opportunity to get new customers and keep happy his investors. He left Yoongi with the job and he put it in himself to make the best party ever.

Hoseok gave a small punch in his ribs and gave a sneaky smile to Yoongi “Seems like ____ is getting her cards read.”

“You know her?” Yoongi asked surprised.

“How can I not know the owner of the coffee shop that is close to my office? She is a very sweet gal.”

“Sweet wouldn't be the right term to describe her” said Yoongi smirking.

“You're right, the correct term would be "Intensely Hot"” Hoseok said with a seductive smile. A certain sense of jealousy began to grow in Yoongi's stomach but he didn't listen to it and looked at you.

“Hot? You think so?”

“Are you kidding? You're the manager of the space and you haven't noticed her?”

“ I've noticed her” Yoongi said deffensively

“And haven't you noticed that ____ is a hotty with a body? I mean she is so hot she could make a pool go on fire!”

“Well that may be true but her products and her technique for selling them left much to be desired.”

“Well its those product of hers that keep me alive! Yesterday I tried this new cookie called "Sugar kiss" and I'm telling you, that woman can make a grown man cry with them! They are extremely delicious! I wished she could make this cookie called "Wild Sex In The Back Seat Of A Car", I would sure try that…..with her.”

Yoongi looked at his best friend with a death glare and  Hoseok smiled innocently “Sorry dude, I forgot I was walking on your turf.”

“What in blazes are you talking about?”

“Dude, you gave me the death glare! That means you are interested in her. Plus you haven't stopped looking at her since she went into the tent. For one thing I'm happy that you finally are into a girl that isn't a total stuck up. Bad thing for me is now don't have a chance. Maybe she has a sister.”

“Ok I am NOT interested in _____! First of all, if I'm looking at her it’s because I'm trying to see what she is going to do next because she always wants to irritate me by doing something out of the ordinary. Second of all, I am not always interested in stuck up girls. And third of all, if you want her you can have her.”

“If you continue to say that I'm going to end up believing that, and just so you know you do date uptight, stuck up women, all the time! Every girl is a copy of the other! Boring to hell too. But ___ is not boring in any way! Good thing you don't like her cause I've been hitting on her all week and she has been sweet but just that, sweet. Could be she has a boyfriend.”

Yoongi got relieved that you didn't pay attention to Hoseok’s advances but suddenly felt frustrated that there was a possibility you could have a formal boyfriend. Wait, why the hell was he worrying? He didn't care for you personal life!

“Come on, lets get your future read! Maybe we can find out if there is a woman that can shake your chubber! I bet it’s ___!”

“Why don't you go and see about yourself” Yoongi said “You need a woman more than me.”

“I already got a date with a girl I met in the supermarket, her name is Momo and she was talking about Broccoli when I met her.”

“But you hate Broccoli.”

“Well for that babe, it was well worth it. You should’ve seen her body to know what I'm talking about. Besides you need a spin around the town, meet a girl that you can have a good time. When is the last time you had sex?”

“I am not telling you” the last thing Yoongi needed was his best friend laughing at his dried up sex life. He would die of laughter if he knew.

“Yoongi, either you tell me, or I'm going directly to _____ and telling her that you want her.”

“God you're like the nosy brother I never wanted! Two months! There! Happy?”

Hoseok’s jaw dropped “ DUDE! Your dick is going to fall off if you don't do something about it!”

“Oh brother! Do you always think about this or is the Valentines Day spirit swelling you mind and apparently your dick too?” Yoongi rolled his eyes “I am going to see if I can get a girl if it will get you off my case!”

“Ok, but let's have fun tonight, go see the medium, she can tell you about your love life! Maybe ____ can get it to be more fun.”

“NOT HER!”

“Ok but at least she can give us a clue to whom” Hoseok patted him on his shoulder and got him close to the tent and they saw you coming out. You looked at Yoongi and then quickly turned to Hoseok, almost avoiding his gaze.

“Hobi, I'm glad to see you” you smiled tenderl “Are you missing my double coffee with no foam?”

“That and your cookies” he smiled back and winked “they are the best things I have ever had in my life!”

You smiled back and Yoongi could have sworn that seemed to be the most seductive thing. Damn! He loved contagious smiles and particularly this woman had the sexiest contagious smile ever! Curse his bad luck!

“Min Yoongi” You said in a serious voice.

“_____” he greeted.

Seeing Hoseok and Yoongi was an odd match considering the fact that they looked like polar opposites, “Are you acquainted?”

“Yes we are very good friends since high school”  the manager said all serious.

“Now that's something you don't see every day” You laughed.

“It seems you are surprised to see that I have friends.”

“Well at least one who is very charming.”

“I can be charming. I am just not that patient with people who live to irritate me daily with their over the top decorations to a shop that leaves very little to the imagination. The mannequins I saw in the morning on the front window of your shop were completely naked!”

“I'm sorry but my mannequins are completely dressed” you began to protest.

“In an evident way like a slap.”

“Is that an invitation?” your eyes sparked with a flame of anger.

“I didn't know you had violent tendencies.”

“Only with people who irritate me and put me nervous”

“Speaking of nervous” he pointed with her index finger “your front window is….”

“Provocative? Interesting?”

“ Excessive!”

“Thanks for the compliment!” You smiled.

“THAT WAS NOT A COMPLIMENT!”

“Coming from you, the fact that you actually noticed the front window is a compliment in itself. Tell me did you really just look at it or were you so wrapped in yourself that when you were looking at your reflection you accidentally saw it?”

“Evidently our last conversation about the decoration was but alas forgotten” he rolled his eyes, his signature move, “Seeing as how you have such a short attention spam”

“Don't you dare insult my intellect! I know what you said! I know what I said! Don't come up to me with those airs of superiority and insult me.”

“Well if you can remember then you must have not heard”.

“I know how to hear and to remember, but I also know this exquisite word called "ignore" if you want I can get a dictionary for you so you can look it up! Oh and FYI you wouldn't know creativity even if it bit you up the ass!”

“You obviously don't know me”

“Oh I know you very well, Mr. Informal Clone!” you looked at him up and down with certain air of despise.

“I have that feeling too, Miss. I dont ever listen to my boss!” he said ironically, “how lucky for both of us.”

“I wouldn't employ that term in this case. But I see we finally agree in something!”

“I think it is the first time” he smirked.

“Maybe you should come by my shop, I just made a new cookie in the shape of a pair of lips” you smiled before adding “It's called, "BITE ME!"

Hoseok tried his hardest not to laugh but obviously it was in vain. Yoongi turned around and glared at his friend. Damn, he had forgotten about his friend and of Madame Karma as well, who was standing behind you. He scoweled at you and went to Madame Karma

“No thanks, I'm not in the mood for coffee. But maybe you can give hobi, seeing how he LOOOVES your coffee and cookies” then he turned to Madame Karma and shook her hand “Madame Karma I am….”

“Min Yoongi” she whispered amazed.

“Yes, well I came to see if you can tell me my future” he said without showing surprise as to how she could know his name.

“Your aura is bright…. exceptionally bright” Madame Karma said as she saw Yoongi's hand then she turned to you and made a movement with her head “____, dear, please leave. Mr. Min and I have a lot to talk about.”

Yoongi couldn't think of anything he had to ask Madame Karma in particular. He was guessing that she would read some plain old cards say some mumbo jumbo and he would just nod. Then he would thank her and leave. How bad could it be?