#Barty Crouch Jr

[until-the-house-shakes]

I feel like Barty would ask Evan the most RANDOM questions at like 3 AM.

Barty: if I died. Do you want them to surgically connect my dick to you? Like do you want my dick for your bottom surgery?

Evan: I don’t think that’s how it works.

Barty:… damn.

*Barty waking up Evan as if he just had a nightmare*

Barty: Do you think my animagus would be a horse?

Evan: Why would it be a horse?

Barty: I’m so scared of them Ev. Please say it wouldn’t be a horse.

Evan:… WHY WOULD IT BE A HORSE?

One more

Barty: When we get married, can Reg be my best man?

Evan: No.

Barty: … oh so I guess we’re not getting married then

Evan: He’s officiating it.

Barty:… fine.

[deswhomst]

Remus: Kiss, marry, kill—Regulus, Marlene, Peter.

James: Kiss and marry Regulus, kill Barty

Barty: I wasn’t even one of the options??

Sirius, who took a little long processing all this: WHAT

[exoras-deus]

Rosekiller being cute for once in their lifetime

You can be certain Evan decided he was done with other people, went to sleep on the couch, and Barty just slumped on top of him.

Anyway, it's my first post here, I don't have much more to post yet, but don't worry it'll come :]

[mairon-goth-minion]

Pandora: I think that Lily might like someone else, but I’m not sure. What should I do? Evan, Barty, Regulus and Dorcas, in unison: Kill them.

[ilophilia]

Regulus: Our cult is pretty much just-

James: Your what?

Regulus: Our friend group???

James: That's not what you-

Evan: That's exactly what he said.

Barty: Potter, you might want to get your ears checked...

[tolovethemoony]

Barty, Regulus, Evan

[keksikart]

Don't let the walls cave in on you

[rosieandthethorns]

i don't WANT to read smut right now

i WANT to read a passionate, poetic, jaw dropping, tears streaking down my face, heart wrenching, giggle inducing, feet kicking, cringy yet amazing, gorgeous story written by someone who apologizes for english not being their first language(they're the best writers ever) which has 4 chapters and then makes me scream because it hasnt been updated in months and the author is mia

[dazzlemebaby]

Barty: So, Dom or Sub?

James: I guess Dominos since I don’t really eat Subway. I don’t really see why you’d put them in the same category though.

Barty:

Regulus: Barty please stop

[asterrrr1ot]

THEM

[moonyswarmsweaters]

James: *eating a cookie, just vibing*

Barty to Regulus: I know he’s your boyfriend but We should frame him for murder.

[doodlemcjazzhands]

hello! Since you said you’re taking marauders fanart requests:

can you draw a fluffy dorlene one of them cuddling on a couch, or a really sad one of bartys reaction to regulus/evan’s death, or to both? If not it’s perfectly fine. have a great day/night and remember to take care of yourself!

<3

[deswhomst]

Regulus, Dorcas, Evan, & Barty: *staring out the window*

Pandora: What are you doing?

Dorcas: The TV broke so we’re watching a couple break up across the street

[siriusstardust]

no thoughts, just imagining the earth-shaking, gut-wrenching, heart destroying scream that evan rosier let out as he watched the love of his life get ripped away from him for the second time. watching as barty took the dementor’s kiss, and knowing they’d never be together again—not even in the afterlife

[mudkip-enthusiast18]

evan:

barty: