#im pinning this in case this dude comes back

[spiritcc]

EXAMINING EVERY ACE ATTORNEY CASE ON THE LIKENESS OF US BEING PAID

The topic that must be finally put to rest considering how every AA protag and money issues go hand in hand, how many cases did we actually get paid for?

PHOENIX WRIGHT: BROKE ATTORNEY

1 - literally spelled out by the game that larry left us with fuckall, a bad omen of the life to come.

2 - nothing could scare the law offices' balance sheet more than the entrance of maya, but in the frenzy of fighting for the life of our workspace we didnt even notice the whiff of the long-lasting implications.

3 - okay this is the first $u$pect that can pay our bills, no way will powers left us without a relatively phat check so GIRL WE MAKING MONEY!

4 - genuinely if edgelord somehow figured that money dont matter in a friendship, either it was my wallet that bullied him into killing himself between these games or he at least had the decency to utilise von karma's leaked pin code situation and allowed us to drain his bank account posthumously. either way my belief that edgeworth got the bill paid here is naively high.

5 - i dont care if lana was going to pay or not bc i billed her for every fucking turn she did at the detention center. either way whether her estate got arrested in the investigation or not it seems like she'd be forced to pay so im staying positive.

ACE ATTORNEY: RAMEN FOR ALL

1 - maggie. what exactly can maggie even pay me. i feel like the case was more of a friend request anyway so we're eating roaches for dinner again, but i also feel that maggie would be inclined to offer at least something. im not sure if putting down a "presumable twenty" counts as success. i'm going to go with no.

2 - maya is starting to get slightly comfortable being a liability to my expenses, this is my first warning girl.

3 - MAXIMUM GALACTIC PROFIT??? OH HE PAYIN. OH HE PAYIN EVERYTHING OUT OF HIS CLOWN ASS. CONFIRMED. FORCED.

4 - this HAS to be a case of the arrested estate being distributed towards paying the fee because i absolutely refuse to live in a world where maya's existence just keeps costing me money. engarde better have paid for it all. the gallows dont drop until he signs my check.

ACE ATTORNEY: TROUBLES AND REMUNERATION

1 - a very big question mark about what can peenie the fail art student pay and whether grossberg is someone who entertains himself a free case. the existence of case 4 may actually suggest something interesting so let's come back to this one later.

2 - i dont care what kind of crippling debt ma$k has because if his wife can allow a bike she CAN, and WILL, pay my fucking fee i dont care. she looks like the type to pay anyway.

3 - maggie. maggie, maggie, maggie. what does it matter musing on how things would've turned out differently if they had actually remembered my face in time. in either universe, this is another expense, in a crisis where my laundry bill is financially ruining me as coffee cups keep flying in my face.

4 - this is a convict already. what can a convict pay to grossberg law offices? suddenly it looks like his gig takes up on free cases bc usually this dude would get a state attorney, right? is grossberg providing such services? if we are getting paid here, it is only the bare minimum it seems, so in retrospect it IS possible for case 1 to have been completely unpaid. as for this one, marking it as unpaid bc Doubt what we'd get could even pay for a single-ply toilet paper + they'd find a way to pay out even less considering the trial technically didn't go through smh.

5 - bitchass fucking fey family, call it THE FEE FAMILY for the way NONE OF THEM ARE PAYING IT!!!! THEY PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chronologically we have edgelord's two investigation games next so:

THESE TWO GAMES FOLLOW SEVERAL CASES CONDUCTED FOR A MILLIONAIRE'S OWN ENTERTAINMENT. WE DO NOT CONDONE MONEY PRIVILEDGE BEHAVIOUR AND WE BOYCOTT THE ANALYSIS OF THESE GAMES.

MONETARY JUSTICE: ACE ATTORNEY

1 - well money was probably one thing in the whole mess there, sure. Dick Wright jailed this barbie girl motherfucker just so he wouldn't pay the bill. girl we making no money era is back.

2 - weirdly enough but god might exist after all because no way the kitakis are not paying me. we are saved!!!!!

3 - in a grand twist, there is also no way that these moneyfucks are not signing me a phat one so big bet a hot meal was had that day! i think after lamiroir regained her memories she just decided that this fee was her paying off child support for both kids and fucked off forever.

4 - boy I lost my god damn job.

5 - an interesting situation here because this case was most likely sponsored by the state since it's testing out the jury system and all so. we got paid? almost three cases in a row? WOE MAMA!

ACE ATTORNEY: DOUGH'S DESTINY

1 - not this shit again. another freeloader caught up in the scheme of my monetary ruin. at the time when a teenager is feeding a company of four. peenie's new drip alone cost us six months worth of rent. girl we eating discarded prison gruel at the dumpster in this dark age of the law.

2 - oh a wrestler AND a mayor? oho. ohohohoho. ohohohohohoho.

3 - the humble beginnings of my empty wallet, innit. sure, let her get away this time. not my first rodeo.

4 - starbuck for the love of god i know they said their budget went down but he is PAYING that bill or im cutting wires on his rocket and doing phantom a favor here. he can afford to pay me.

5 - maya sure evaded leaving her footprint on my taxes but there's such a sweet difference between an employee and an independent contractor and athena saw why. sure, free case! its cost is taken out of your salary, baby. you're not eating for four months. at least.

6 - hey the aquarium folks Surely have the dough, right? they found us themselves too so that's a definite bill here.

BROKE ATTORNEY: NO SPIRIT OF JUSTICE

every case in the russian republic of village kurainovo was free which is a devastating stain on my financial report this year, remember how durke said we probably cant afford three meals per day? hello????

1 - motherfucker. this case actually cost us about 20 brazilian roubles because albi charged us for the magatama edible. the first case that lands us in the negative twenty. incredible.

2 - i fucking. if trucy thinks her main breadwinner status excuses her from freeloading a case that almost landed us in 3m debt then im selling rights to the gramarye IP to bozo the clown. family is Nothing to me. i havent eaten properly since 2016.

3 - stop fucking reminding me. not only that but fucking MAYA. THE BIGGEST EXPENSE IN MY LIFE IS BACK WITH NO JUSTICE DONE TO MY FINANCIAL WELLBEING. i havent showered in months. remember how nick told edgeworth that he "heard" that washing in the sink is good enough in the temple? so he didnt even do that himself. the lowest point of my life.

4 - with the urgency of it all and everything i have a strong suspicion the payment of this case was soba. max of what we're getting is food from that place. im shaking does this count as fair barter economy in their eyes? we're not in ancient fucking egypt.

5 - penniless, fatherless, across two countries too. whats not to like in this world. we havent seen a cent in this entire game.

6 - THE $PROKET$???? HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Let's count the results:

31 cases across 6 games

13/31 cases most likely than not were paid for in acceptable capacity, which is less than a half. if we exclude cases where the situation isn't entirely clear (eg. engarde, lana), that is even less and we are looking at a third of all cases being remunerated for.

despite quite a few of the presumably paid cases involving rich clients, our gig most likely charges standardised fees, which makes the wealth of our clients irrelevant and simply further questions how much we actually made at the end of the day.

they are not lying, we really are making no money. this is concerning. ga'ran was right, fuck the attorneys just go and pick a state-backed position with the forces.

[obsidiancreates]

Robin Hood: Man In Vents

@pineapple-psychic

"Gus." Shawn whispers as quietly as he can into the little mic pinned to his collar. "I see you flirting with the receptionist."

"Heh, one second." Gus's smirk slips right off as he turns and whispers back "You told me to say I'm security!"

"So no-one would question the mic and earpiece! Not to creep out some poor girl taking this jerk's calls all day!"

"I'm not creeping anybody out!"

"She's literally holding a tiny lipstick taser in her palm."

"Wh- where are you?!"

"The vents. ... Top of the wall to your right."

"Shawn, you're supposed to be in this guy's office already."

"I had to take a pit-stop, man, you were totally ignoring me!"

"Just get in there, if someone we know spots me we're toast."

"Dude, Lassie and Jules are totally busy with that other case with the dead bull or whatever."

"It was a dead matador, Shawn, and they're only busy because you put them on the wrong lead!"

"Yeah, so we're covered."

"Just get into that office!"

Shawn watches Gus turn back around with his 'Smooth Gus' smile and keep chatting with the receptionist- who's relaxing more as Gus talks to her, actually, and she realizes he's just Not As Smooth As He Thinks He Is rather than Trying To Be Creepy.

Shawn crawls through the vents, wondering not for the first time why Santa Barbara seems to make all their air vents big enough for over-30-year-old-men to crawl through with room to spare, and makes it to the office. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his little uses-actual-tape vintage tape recorder, stolen from his dad's house, and hits record.

"No, look, if we sell more than this it'll look suspicious. ... I know, I know, but our payout won't be worth shit if we get caught. Just- have you taken care of the severance situation? ... Well, cripes, Monty, if you don't find a way to avoid paying out severance after this we'll have done it all for nothing! ... That's it, I'm coming down to your office. No, I don't give a crap if your wife is there, kick her out or I'll beat her ass along with yours. ... You'll take this talk from me as long as you live, if you don't want to become my next scapegoat."

The phone slams back into it's receiver, and the CEO storms out of his office.

Shawn tests the vent grate- if he did it right when he pretended to be the building inspector a few days ago, it should just-

CRASH!

... Whoops.

Shawn slides out of the vent and lands in a heap on the floor, springing back up as quickly as possible and going for the computer! This office is relatively isolated, but someone will have heard that. Gus posing as security can maybe buy him twenty minutes, but after that he's risking everything.

Gus would kill him for saying so, but all that makes this even more fun.

He copies the password he saw being entered in the reflection of the window when he came in to sabotage the vent, pulls out the list of keywords Gus's jotted down for him, and starts combing through the files as quickly as possible. He plugs his pineapple-shaped hard drive into the PC unit and begins downloading everything relevant to the insider trading and company self-sabotage.

"Dude, hurry up, I just got told over the walkie that there was a loud sound in the CEO's office," Gus hisses through the earpiece.

"I'm hurrying!"

"Hurry harder, Shawn! Oh, uh, hello, fellow security team. Yeah, Im uh, going to check out the disturbance myself. no need for all of us, right?"

"You're in fire, dude."

"Yeah, well, I'm a uh, black belt in taekwondo, so I really don't need any backup. Might get messy."

"Black be- okay I know that's not true, but I also know you've been sneaking out of cases more often than usual. Gus, are you taking martial arts classes without me? How is our partnership supposed to work if you become a lethal weapon of flesh and blood and I don't?"

"I'm not taking any classes, I'm buying you time," Gus hisses again. "Quit distracting me!"

"Fine. ... But we should sign up for some classes together after this."

"I agree, but shhh!"

"Fine. ... Okay, okay, I got it!" Shanw unplugs everything, makes sure his gloves didn't rip or leave any fibers behind- and then looks up at the vent. "Oh. Oops."

"Oops?!"

"It's uh- it's a little high to reach."

"Oh my go- you didn't measure a way up to your only escape route?"

"I was a little focused on the entire rest of the whole plan!"

"Figure it out fast, we're almost at the elevator!"

"Ah- stall for time! Pretend to pee yourself!"

"No, stop using that as a go-to distraction!"

"Well do something!"

"Ah- HEY! Ahem, hey, guys, uh, you know, I read in Men's Digest last week that elevators have been linked to Kidney Stones."

Shawn looks around frantically for something he can use to get up to the vent that won't leave a suspicious trail- nothing. Unless...

"Dude, I'm taking a risk."

"Another one?!"

"Trust me!"

Shawn pulls the wheely chair over to the vent and stands on it. It's just enough for him to leverage himself into the space. He hops off and grabs the vent cover, puts it on top of the headrest, and turns. He puts his feet on the wall, walks them up to the vent opening, and slowly walks his hands up to the top of the chair to leverage himself into the exit.

As soon as his hands reach the top he hears the elevator ding down the hallway. He hears Gus's rambling coming closer, and knows it's now or never. He takes a deep breath, winces in preparation for the on coming pain, and pushes off of the chair! He just barely manages to grab onto the vent as the chair goes flying across the floor back into place!

His push gets him halfway into the vent, the wind knocked right out of him, but he has no time to recover. He squirms the rest of the way in, and managed to re-affix the loose vent cover right as the door to the office opens.

Gus glances up at the vents and they lock eyes. Shawn gives a thumbs-up, and begins scooting backwards out of the line of sight.

"I'm never helping you with one of these again," he hears Gus mumble over the earpiece.

They both know Gus is lying. They're partners in crime-solving and in crime, and they always will be. Especially when it's something like this.

Now to figure out if blackmail or exposure is the best use for what they've gathered...

[justice4billiam]

I'm gonna title this :

Nose Ring

Y'all wanna hear an embarrassing thing that happened to me today? 🤭😂😭

So. I have a nose ring. I've had a nose ring for YEARS. I had just recently changed the stud to a hoop again. Not that big of a deal, right?

UNTIL IT SNAGS ON YOUR HOODIE AS YOUR TAKING IT OFF AND YOU GET STUCK WITH THE HOODIE OVER YOUR HEAD.

Naturally, I panicked 🙂

Cuz that bish HURT. It was stuck good and proper.

I panicked and started reeling backwards. REALLY FAST.

Oops forgot to mention, I WAS AT THE CINEMA.

There were people everywhere outside the movie rooms because it was right before the movie I was seeing started(Lisa Frankenstein in case anyone was wondering)

So there I was, my hoodie snagged over my head and like I said practically panic-walking backwards like a freaking cat who got a plastic bag stuck around its neck.

I walked so fast and suddenly that I might of accidently took out a pack of adolescent preteens.

Okay no, “might” I DID TAKE OUT A PACK OF ADOLESCENT PRE-TEENS.

They fell like a bunch a bowling pins 😭

STRIKE.

It would of been funnier to me in the moment too….

Except you see, now I'm on the ground…and still have the goddamn hoodie stuck over my head.

A voice above me interrupted the pity party I was having on the floor.

“Do you need help, miss?”

Yes. Yes I did.

This angel of a human that I DID NOT know, crouched down to me and stuck his hand into my hoodie hole, ROTATED the hoop in my nose until he could unhook the 2 asshole objects apart.

There is was FREEDOM.

I pulled that hoodie so quickly off my head, smiling like a dumb idiot until I made eye contact with the guy that saved me.

HELLO, A STRAIGHT TEN. Bro was rocking a short little mullet and wearing a Megadeth t-shirt, had the face of a fucking angel.

So naturally, I gawked a little bit. (leave me alone. I'm disoriented😭)

This man IS SMIRKING at me, asking if I'm alright.

NO SIR, IM NOT ALRIGHT. A HOT PERSON JUST WATCHED ME BOWL A STRIKE WITH A HOODIE OVER MY HEAD.

The whole time I'm still on the floor and he's casually crouched over me. He's talking to me, saying actual words but all I could think about is how this dude just had his finger up my nose.

Hot guy helped me up.

And I got a good look at my surroundings to notice…those preteens were not happy 🤭.

Now, you'd think I ran away out of embarrassment and vowed to never come back to the cinema….

I DID NOT. I said my sorrys and oogled the metal angel a little more before marching my ass into that theater and watching the dang movie I came to see.

Yes I liked the movie.

And yes I changed that hoop back into a stud immediately 🥲

Do y'all have any embarrassing stories?

[echonk3]

999 Week 2023 - Ace

WITH LESS THAN AN HOUR ITS DONE. this year im doing outsider looks on the characters and ace's is social media in the aftermath

Cradle Pharmaceutical CEO in Police Custody! | JNS

Gentarou Hongou, CEO of the famous Cradle Pharmaceutical most known for the drug Soporil commonly used in hospitals, is in police custody after being handed in by a group of people with evidence of his crimes, including kidnapping, bribery and multiple counts of murder. And according to some sources, his murders are of the other three executives of his company!

_____________________________________

coffee @kianuovals

@passingbyinthetrees i am so sorry about what just happened

Stuck on her report @passingbyinthetrees

????

Stuck on her report @passingbyinthetrees

Oh fuck me i choose to do a report on him and his contributions to the community but noooooooo the universe just decides to do this to me lets see if i can get an extension

coffee @kianuovals

hey at least you can add something pretty interesting to it

fml @passingbyinthetrees

You mean: the murder accusations that are likely true, the death game he was accused of setting up that are likely true no matter how fucking fake it may sound, the kidnappings of multiple children, bribery, and the fact that he was handed in by a random group found in the desert in NEVADA. NEVADA. FUCKING NEVADA.

_____________________________________

Trying to keep my cat from getting to my gecko @petparent8398389

Ngl that hongou dude always gave me the creeps

New art piece up! @artcoslianna

Same here. Everybody I’ve met who’s talked about him saw him as this good dude but his smile always unnerved me for some reason. 

bend and snap! @sexymansplits

Opposite for me actually. I really looked up to him as somebody who helped the medicinal field, especially in a family full of doctors and nurses and anesthesiologists and just people who work with these types of medicines. Now I’m likely gonna be seeing this case analyzed for being something almost out of ace attorney :/

_____________________________________

:-) @elephantsandtrunks

Fffuck gentariiiiiiiiiiiii hongou iilllll probabbly not longer have a job after thisdd

:-) @elephantsandtrunks

Ii have cholod suporrttt to payyyyyy and because off this fuckkup ill wontt have a job

_____________________________________

Gentarou Hongou and Cradle Pharmaceutical - A History Up to Now

Posted by: Locomoco

997k likes

1:12:58: “In early November of the year of our Lord 2027, a group of people that while not identified currently, they have been overheard calling each other “Clover”, “Seven”, “Junpei”, “Lotus”, “Alice” and “Snake” a blurry photo of an oddly dressed group of people in front of a car and a gas station is shown with many references to an “Ace”, presumed to be Hongou though he wasn’t seen. The man had been put into custody soon after with some reports of the events that led to it, including multiple leaks. Cradle has recently come out with a statement defending Hongou, saying that they didn’t believe in these accusations. However, that was quickly recanted by them once the backlash started. Due to the fact that all the executives have been murdered, there’s been quick reports of people being promoted to these roles and calls for new applicants. Honestly, I’m getting reminded of Oceangate right now from a few years back.”

_____________________________________

Gentarou Hongou Trial Date to be Happening within the Next Few Months!

New Evidence Brought in Regards to the Cradle Pharmaceutical Death Game of 2018!

Potential Motives by Gentarou Hongou! Read Here!!!

_____________________________________

slumberingsage

THE MUGSHOT HAS BEEN RELEASED. I REPEAT. THE MUGSHOT HAS BEEN RELEASED.

#showed it to my grandma who doesnt know wtf is happening and she felt so much pity #her reaction to his crimes were priceless #cradle pharmaceutical #gentarou hongou

Whitehairedemo

The mugshot is pinned on my wall it’s amazing that bastard is gonna get all he deserves and more

_____________________________________

Gentarou Hongou Mugshot Shirt 

*a photo of the man’s mugshot on a black shirt is being modeled with a man and a woman, heads cutoff from the photo, though the woman’s dark brown hair is in frame*

Cost: $20

Sold by: Crashkeys

_____________________________________

sincerely me! @keyboardsmasher69

Okay but is he actually guilty? Like so much of this shit sounds so weird. Like a death game? Is this a video game?

Tech support @EightPetals

www.archives.com/18102018-missing-children

www.abcnew.com/gentarou-hongou

www.youtube.com/expo14/video/cradle-pharmaceuticals

Check the many sources cited in the video also. This man is guilty.

_____________________________________

Gentarou Hongou Trial - June 6th, 2028

www.youtube.com/cradlepharmaceutical/livestream/gentarou-hongou-trial

_____________________________________

changeyourmindchangeyourfate

#FUCK YEAH #it’s insane #like it starts out slightly normal but then more and more of the case got revealed and it just got weirder and weirder #destiel #supernatural

[tonberry-yoda]

Hello! Your fluff alphabets are so cute! Would you do one for Nishinoya? YOU ARE THE CUTEST

ignore double letters ofc 😅 love you!

hello!!! thank you so much! i love writing the fluff alphabets so im super glad that you like them just as much as i do! i absolutely love this idea and love nishinoya, so i was so excited to get this request in! thank you so much and please enjoy!! AND I LOVE YOU TOO <333

Fluff Alphabet with Nishinoya (Y O U A R E T H E C U T E S T)

Pairing - Nishinoya x reader

Warnings - none!

Notes - i keep forgetting to mention in my other posts that my credit from the fluff alphabet goes to this post, sorry for not mentioning that guys, ill remember from now on lol. thank you so so so so much anon! i loved this request and i hope you love it as much as me! enjoy and have a great day/night!!

And don’t forget REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! So, if you want to request any writing, don’t hesitate to ask. Please read my pinned post before requesting though. Have a good day/night and please stay hydrated!! <333

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

he is such a pouty little baby

bro would be upset even if yall were just in separate classes for like an hour

and if you were gone for a vacation or something... you are in for it

i think that would be at first

he would be super good with long distance, still trying to make sure that you love him, so if that were the case, you wouldnt have to worry about the guilt you would feel for being gone because he would only make you feel that way for the first like day lol

but yeah, if you're apart for like 35 minutes, he would be all pouty and when you come back, he would jump into your arms talking about how much he missed you

to cope, he would definitely just send you memes or hang out with his buddies to keep his mind off of it

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

this man is over the moon for you

when he had a crush on you, the whole flippin volleyball team knew

it was so obvious

i mean, look at how he is around Kiyoko in the show lmao

he would treat you like a god/goddess/deity he loves you so much

he would bring you food to show his love, idk why, but it just feels like he would

he will not hesitate to tell you/show you how much he loves you and will not hesitate to tell other people that you are taken

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

he knows you so well. even if you havent been in the relationship long, he knew you as a friend first, so he knows you super duper well

he knows what can tick you off and what makes you happy

he knows your favorite foods and drinks and your least favorite

you two gossip together all the time, so he also knows what people you like and dislike

in a disagreement, he is super empathetic. he loves you and wants whats best for you and wants you to have everything in the whole wide world, so he knows that understanding you is top priority

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

if you dont already know how to play volleyball, he would absolutely love to teach you!

anything outdoors is a yes for him

hiking, frisbee, picnics, long walks, all an A+ date idea for him

he also loves goofy things

just like getting giant pretzels or going bowling a sucker for it

loves when you go to his games and practices and loves going to support you at whatever you're good at!

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

as said before, this man is creative!

i mean, i would think he's romantic (back to kiyoko lol) but at the same time, i dont think he's a sucker for lovey dovey stuff, y'know?? like romantic dinners and giving flowers sound like a bore to him

he would take you skydiving dude!

like he is super creative

loves planning coo coo crazy stuff with you

definitely not just a regular date fella

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

you make fun of him for being short

you're the dominant one

i mean, he can be, he's good at it, but tbh, you probably have all the power over this little dude

like he worships you, would do anything for you, so like... yeah

you wear the biggest pants in this relationship

but it's pretty equal overall, there just so happen to be Noya goo goo eyes involved

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH

YES YES YES HE NEEDS TO SPICE IT UP

its not like he would leave you if you did have a routine, but he would definitely need some fun in the relationship

as long as you're down ofc

like he would take you to some crazy fun stuff

literally cannot stress this enough

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

the only secret i think he would hide is his insecurity

he wants to be this happy guy who never has any problems, but really, he has some deep insecurity that you dont know about

other than that, he shares everything

maybe even overshares lmao

lots of 12 year old boy humor

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

HE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART OMG

okay tbh, he could make it worse by panicking, but it's because he loves you and wants to help you in any way possible

would ask too many questions

once he does take the hint that he may not be helping, he drops everything and sits next to you as you fall into his arms, just getting through it

just having him there is enough

he wouldnt realize it, but his breathing would help you get back on track

you would thank him with a kiss and he would get you any food that you want

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

HECK YEAH HE IS! AND HE DOES

since you support him by coming to volleyball games and practices, he is right behind you supporting you in whatever you do

as long as you support each other, he is happy!

[johannestevans]

Do you have any experiences you feel comfortable sharing around realizing through self dx and/or prof diagnosis being adhd and/or autistic? i have a strong suspicion i have both or one, but the symptoms make it hard to actually do some substantial research to come to an actual conclusion.

Honestly, I've know since as long as i remember that something was 'up' but my kid logic was just like 'ohhhhh if i watch enough people, ill do it just like they do, i wouldn't be different anymore :))' but whoop who would have guessed you cant logic your way out of feelings, or symptoms or disability. like i kinda stalled facing the fact by just saying; 'oh im neurodivergent but ill be undiagnosed out of respect that's good enough for me'.

But finally finishing school and talking to peers outside of school made me realize that what's 'up' with me hasn't been alleviated or fixed. that all the stress of being different hasn't faded. that i just learned to manage it to survive. that maybe an even more uncomfortable fact, that i wasn't even managing it WELL and the people around me knew the teachers knew but i was black and a 'girl' so they'd just treat me like i was lazy or didn't want to learn or i just wasn't intelligent enough to learn. did i have a difficult home life? was there a reason i wouldn't finish assignments? why id act out? why i'd always avoid eye contact? nope this kid didn't finish the assignment/is fidgeting/is RUDE, and they'd send me to the hallway and id try not to breakdown. wash rinse repeat until the end of the year and suddenly the teach was so warm and so happy to have taught you!

Nothing changes i made it though elementary, middle and high school and i didn't get a badge or pat on the back just the worst burnout at 18. i held out so much hope that oh ill work it all out and school will someday be a breeze. id just been holding onto a pipe dream for 12 years.

so when i type in "tips for keeping a tidy room"...."for adhd" or "are binders uncomfortable for people with sensory issues?" or "binder for sensory issues" and these all come up with answers that actually speak to me, i kind of start reeling! Dude this shop from singapore i ordered from sent me a binder no sensory issues, perfect fit! after trying multiple bras cuz 'binding is uncomfortable' but this binder man no chest dysphoria, all the comfort that people would signal to me whenever id say "ugh bras are uncomfortable right?"

the cold authority figures i had as a kid don't deal with the fallout of 12 years of shame and discomfort with next to no explanation. but you cant really pin it on someone. its all the culmination of systemic '-isms'. THAT's hard to make peace with.

so ill finally admit that "ill just be undiagnosed out of respect :)" is just internalized ableism. that a lot of what i thought about myself was just internalized ableism. ill give every other person the benefit of the doubt regardless of professional diagnosis status, why don't i afford myself that same compassion the answer is obviously internalized ableism now that i write it out. but I've got to heal everybody does.

But damn if healing isn't bitter! medicine that can only be sweetened up with artificial strawberry, lest it loses its potency. so ill take the first step and round back to the beginning of what i was saying;

hey! pursuing a professional diagnosis as a black, young,trans person in the us south is daunting. do you have any autism and/or adhd self dx resources, neurodivergency resources or have any anecdotes about living with both that are fun i never hear about enough fun ppl have! anything would be helpful!

Hey there!

My experiences were pretty wild, honestly, I wasn't diagnosed through school and university even though I was a pretty classic case, and then I did pursue my Dx as an adult a few years ago.

It was pretty expensive, and because I'm self-employed and set my own hours that are quite intuitive and based off of my own needs and limits, I actually found that the medication I was prescribed made my workload harder to handle.

It's not that the medications for ADHD are bad - if I ever go back to university or enter more traditional employment again, I do want to keep meds in mind as an option - but that they're really intended to get you focused and adjusted for a 9 to 5 or other traditional job structure, and that's just not what my life looks like.

I will say that like...

It's not that a diagnosis is bad, but I actually do have some concerns about it in terms of receiving medical care - some bigoted doctors use ADHD and autism diagnoses as a reason to withhold medical care or otherwise to deny healthcare and assistance; some countries actually stipulate in their immigration policies that a condition like autism will negatively impact your ability to immigrate there.

If you want to try medication and you feel like you need it, official diagnosis might be a good route for you, but if you don't want medication, official diagnosis might be a hindrance as much as it could be a help.

There's nothing wrong or bad about having a diagnosis, what I'm saying is more that like... If you have ADHD or autism, then you have it whether a doctor agrees or not. You only need that doctor's piece of paper if you want to seek out medical treatment - lots of people seek out other resources while being self-diagnosed, especially because seeking out clinical diagnosis can be so expensive, and you can avail of any online resources without being "officially" ADHD or autistic, you know?

I don't have a huge amount of resources, but a few recs I have are:

ADHD Alien's comics - Pina's comics are very cute and I find a lot of them very relatable, but they almost always also have resources linked in the replies by Pina themselves or somebody else, specifically for the issue addressed in each comic.

HowToADHD - Jessica's videos are really comprehensive and go through a lot of ADHD experiences from different angles, especially looking at the day-to-day issues of the workplace or the domestic sphere with lots of little tips!

I was on Jeremy Sachs and Katherine Cox's podcast this month with my friend Ashleigh Wilder, and we talked about the impact of autism and trauma, which might be helpful. Ashleigh is an actor and poet, but he's got a background in psych, and they post a lot of resources around autism and other neurodivergence like OCD.

Healing sucks big time, and it takes a lot of time to unpack a lot of that internalised pain and fear - and also just like... recognising the things in you which might be to do with neurodivergent traits, and realising you can seek out resources or things to make your life easier.

It's a long journey for any of us, but I wish you luck, and I hope some of these resources make it easier to seek out more!

In general, I would absolutely remind you to always tack on "for adults" when searching for a lot of resources, simply because so many of them assume ADHD is a kid's condition and a kid's concern.

[jellyfish3ater]

I need advice 😿😿

Okay so, the other day me and my siblings + my mom went out to a mall for dinner,

Right after eating I decided to go shopping (mainly books,pins, figuringes yk nerdy shit)

So I convince my mom to let me go off on my own and I go to two different shops.

in the first one nothing really happened, just walked around, browsed, picked a couple of books + stickers, payed and left, yk?

So after that I remember of a certain shop my friend mentioned to me a few days prior.

This shop apparently had really good prices on figurines and plushies and what not.

So I go to find it.

here’s where the shit starts.

so I walk into the store and I see this cute guy, but ofc I get shy and I pretend I’m on the phone talking to someone.

I saw the guy glance at me a couple of times and I got somewhat nervous (not in a bad way more like in a flustered way)

So after about browsing the entire shop (which took abt 5 minutes) I decided that it made me look awkward because I was on my phone but not talking to it at all (I hope that made sense??)

so I put my phone away and I find some Tokyo revenges figurines (like small ones) and by this point the guy was glancing at me even more than before (not in a creepy way dw) so I pick up one of these small boxes and apparently the figurine was supposed to be like a surprise (as in I wouldn’t know which character I would get until I purchased it and opened it but I honestly could NOT care less)

so, I pick up one of them randomly and I walk past the cashier and over to a glass case full of plushies.

okay this is where the actual shit starts.

so I browse the plushies and I spot a few csm ones and the guy who was glancing at me earlier came up to me.

Idk how to explain conversations in a way that isn’t confusing to I’ll just show yall

me: *looking at plushies*

Cute guy: *walks up next to me*

Cute guy: “which one are you planning on getting?”

me: “oh uh can I see the price on the aki plush?”

Cute guy: “sure”

At this point I had figured out he was an employee but he looked really young, as in a little older than me (14-16)

to describe his appearance he was somewhat tall, he had fake piercings and he was just yk cute in general (I’ll draw a picture of him later and post it)

so Im pretty much done picking what I wanted (the figurine and the plushie and I hand them to him since he was going to scan them and shit)

but before scanning them or anything he takes a look at the figurine box and smiles at me (at this point I’m on the literal verge of combustion and my face is already red)

so this guy goes:

“Which character are you looking for?”

then I’m like

“Oh I’m hoping to get Mitsuya”

so tHEN HE GOESJSKEJ

“Damn bro, every gal I’ve seen that comes in here wants to find him”

THEN IM LIKE

“Yeah he’s a fan favourite”

(at this point I’m a little more calmed down but we’re both bluddhing yk?)

so he goes back to the section where the figurines are and he goes:

“Yk what, I’ll help you”

So I walk to the section and stand next to him

HE STARTS SEARCHING THROUGH THE FIGURINES JUST TO FIND THE RIGHT ONE

AND HE FINDS MITSUYA

So I’m really happy and shit and he goes

“It’s not common to find mitzuhaltende since his merch is sold out almost everywhere, so your lucky yk?”

and he hands me the box

and we both just stand there for a couple of moments and where like staring at each other

IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE THIS BUT IT FELT GENUINELY SO UNREAL

so we both walk over to the cashier and he scans the stuff im getting.

and he goes

Him: “So did you read the manga?”

Me: “oh yeah I finished it ^^”

him: “damn when did you finish it?”

Me: “around the same it ended”

him: “alright listen, imma just get straight to the point (he puts my stuff down on the counter and he’s staring DEEPLYYY into my eyes)

“I watched the first two seasons but I genuinely wanna know how the manga ends dude, please just tell me how it ends”

me: “you want me to tell you the ending?”

him: “yeah, please”

so I explain the ending to him and the whole time he’s just standing there like: :0

HEHJEHEHEJJE

so after explaining it he goes:

“DUDE THATS SO FUCKED UPP1!1!1”

he was talking about the characters dying and shit😭

so I go “YEAHH I KNOW RIGHT??”

and we spent a few more minutes just talking about it and the whole time he just seems so flustered (so was I)

After I finished paying and stuff hes like:

“Hey, what’s your name by the way?”

I don’t like my real name so I ended up just telling him my nickname

“Ren”

“oh cool, my name’s Zack”

And we just keep talking Abt Tokyo revengers and by the end when I’m about to leave, I tell him that next time I’m there I’ll stop by to see him again

and he told me he would wait to see me again.

and by the time I left we were both blushing and he was smiling at me as I walked out

So, my question is, people, should I go back to see him again and maybe ask for his socials, or should I consider this a “once in a lifetime moment that shouldn’t go further”

Damn bro I even told my cousin about this and she said she thinks this might be hopeful (I’ve been on a lot of relationships, none of them went well and she knows, but she thinks that this one might become something)

so, DO I SEE HIM AGAIN OR NOT ??

anyways, here’s the mitsuya figure I was talking about

[inkybinkyboink]

the hunchback of notre dame characters and what i would do if they sat next to me on the bus:

*dramatic scenario* you know how like??? public transport gets really crowded? like every seat is taken except for two so you sit down accepting the inevitable fate that some random stranger is gonna sit next to you, and as the doors open at the next stop you brace yourself for whoever’s audacious or stupid enough to take the open spot? yeah that’s what this is

quasimodo: ok so like immediately i would feel bad for him i think. like the bus is crowded and this does not look like a man who is physically or mentally comfortable in any sort of crowded space. i would make painfully awkward attempts to give him more room, but consistently worry that every attempt is just coming off as me being anti-social and not wanting to be near him even though that’s the last thing they are. 

esmerelda: i would 100% angle my bookbag so that she might see all of the pins i have on my bag that scream “gay, queer, accepting, please say hi you look very nice”. if i’m feeling cavalier enough i might compliment her because you KNOW her makeup, brows and hair are perfect and deserve to go noticed. 

phoebus: oh dear lord okay uh,,,i would be scared? like this fucking 6ft cis ass looking dude sits next to me on the bus??? yknow how i said i would angle my bag towards esmerelda so she can see? ok well it’s angled as far away as possible from phoebus just in case. i would stare out the window and not make eye contact. the brief moment we do is the most embarrassing thing that happens that day.

clopin: bro? again, i would be fucking scared. like i realize that this man would probably defend any random stranger who gets bullshit for doing nothing wrong, but the idea of clopin scares me. like i love the guy, i do, i love how absurd and ridiculous he is. but to be frank, if he sits down next to me on public transit you know he smells like a goddamn blunt and he would be at least a little bit gross. oh my god no yknow what, clopin’s that one random bastard who says hi to you. clopin would say hi to me and i would go, “hi?” and then immediately put my headphones back on and stare at my phone.

frollo: the bookbag is under the bus seat. i am physically turned away and panicking about how the fuck im gonna get off at my stop if this fucking crusty old guy doesn’t get off before me. 

jehan: similar to phoebus but i think i would just be kind of marveling at how tall this dude is. i think i would also feel bad because you KNOW this bitch does not have nearly enough leg room. 

[timeworncalamity]

GIVE ME ASHI AND ELI

(Hewwo <3)

AHHHH TY HONEYYYYY HEWWO HERE FOR U

1: sexuality headcanon

Ashi - Ashi is very openly and happily gay. At one point he thought he might be bi but quickly found out that was not the case and he is only attracted to men.

Eli - im going to be honest i think Eli is either Ace or bisexual? He honestly doesnt really pay attention to gender he just likes who he likes and honestly that is only one person anyway. He also doesnt really feel sexual attraction to strangers.

2: otp

Ashi - Crack the Sky makes me melt and has become a major comfort ship tbh.

Eli - his partner Damon and him are insane but he adore them. They make me super emo ngl.

3: brotp

Ashi - i had to really think about this one but i think it either has to be Vin or Isca?? In canon he ends up being within that group for a hot minute and gets really close to all of them.

Eli - Eli doesnt have many friends bc he isnt very friendly at all but besides Damon the person he is closest to and cares about most is Tom.

4: notp

Ashi - I doubt it would ever happen but god Ashi with Keegan (Scott) is such a bad ship. Its just... its bad dont do it.

Eli - Eli with Tom is just.... nope. Do not. Also Eli with Castor would be extremely fucked up and i do not like it at all.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Ashi - Ashi is super good at playing guitar! Its literally his favorite hobby and he plays alot in private when he has time. Sometimes he might even play in public is hes feeling confident.

Eli - Eli has raptor like claws that he does indeed use to hunt ppl down. He does not hold back and actually enjoys using them to pin prey and tear them apart.

6: favorite line from this character

Gonna be honest i have no idea for either of them on this one.

7: one way in which I relate to this character

Ashi - i actually relate to him in so many ways its kind of insane. Hes been around and with me through so much but its made him into the character i love the most. Ill probably have to say we both hate letting people see us cry and bottle things up.

Eli - He is very angry most of the time and because of this hes really quiet. I get really quiet when im mad so i relate to him in those ways.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Ashi - Ashi is the embodiment of a brat at times and sometimes his attitude makes me wanna yeet him into the sun.

Eli - i do get embarrassed about how violent Eli can be at times but dude has alot of anger that comes out in destructive ways.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Ashi - PROBLEMATIC CINNAMON ROLL. HES GOT ISSUES BUT CAN BE SO SILLY AND CUTE

Eli - problematic he needs help, please stop his pain.

[fuyuesu]

ok UH here we go!!! context for the joke goes way back to the currently flaming hot murder case of a veteran journalist who is famous for criticizing the government (its a focal point esp for me rn bc me + bf also work in journalism) anyway. yada yada yada his murder is currently being pinned on the currently suspended corrections bureau chief. for, wait for it, filming his house and his cars. anyway while investigating this dude who the journalist dubbed as "cinderella man" bc he grew his wealth "overnight" from his position. moving on, again, during the investigation, they found a giant. hole. right smack in the middle of our country's supposedly most safe maximum security prison. said hole was as deep as a 7 storey building. okay. when the chief was questioned, he replied "scuba diver kasi ako kaya ko pinagawa yung pool na 'yon (i'm a scuba diver, that's why i had the pool made)" okay. sure dude but also no one has ever seem him swim in his pool in the chief quarters so like. sure janet we believe you. anyway it gets WORSE bc a little ways further ppl found out he was keeping horses, not just one or two, there were around eight i think? all over the fucking prison, as well as some farm animals (chickens and such) and a fucking snake under his own office. yea. okay sure this is fine and normal. i mean. i could get smuggling guns or drugs into a maximum security prison but. a horse??? ok chief wants to live out his horsegirl dreams idk man. so uh. do u wanna take a dive into the 7 storey deep pool w me after we ride the horses? 🥺

(if a filipino reads this pls dont come at me im exhausted from writing accurate formal journalism for a whole day this is written to be FUNNY /lh)

everyone leave i want to be alone with the chief . i want to know what is going on with his mind

(also yes 🥺 i would Love to take a dive into the 7 storey deep pool w you after we ride the horses <33)

[semi-imaginary-place]

dgs 2-5 final chapter

unlike gs 1 and 2 where the first scene of a chapter shows the murderer and thus the cases include loads of dramatic irony pheonix doesnt know the murderer or when he gets knocked unconscious. but here in dgs we the audience know nothing. i only remember 1 case in the first 3 games were we doubt our client. but here as soon as 1-3 we are made to doubt if our client is innocent. and now at 2-5 i have no idea what the truth is. im pretty sure asa shinn was working as an assassin for the british government and that they are involved with the reaper. i did get spoiled on who the reaper is. but i still dont know what gregsons involvement was. was gregson really involved with setting up assassinations? i dont know! i fear that asogi and naruhodo know more about whats going on than i do and this is a nerve wracking situation.

they put a hit out for judge jigoku!

just what happened on that steam ship? the supposed assassin gregson brought with him onto the grouse couldn't have been asa shin because we know that she was killed by the journalist several months ago.

and kazuma was on the grouse on oct 31 this case keeps getting wilder and wilder. so kazuma knows that gregson and barok were in different places on oct 31 but still thinks that barok orchestrated the hit. does he actually think barok killed gregson or is he looking for an excuse to pin murder on him?

aaaaaaaaaaa so kazuma was the additonal person gregson brought along as an assassin. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. but if he never inteded to kill jigoku why did he go along for that trip. what happened on the grouse?

what is going on!! sholmes and mikotoba are on the grouse and the snake dude has an identical brother and jigoki is running away from them?? and of course iris knows the best methods for dealing with sholmes. why did jigoku come back to the grouse? he had a near miss assasination and the 2? 3? days later boards the same ship with all his luggage and then flees sholmes and mikktoba and disembarks to dunkirk.

ahhh and we get to play as mikotoba! we get a dance of deduction with these two!!!!! jigoku had better not be hiding in the wardrobe. are we're getting so many remixed songs for this case!

he really squeezed into that chest huh. why is jigoku covering up the assassination attempt?

i do wonder about the evidence folder. i usually assume ryunosuke and susato are carrying notes not the physical evidence but then in some cases you reexamine the evidence and like???? is a wagon following you around to carry all that! or like just now sholmes and mikotoba in dunkirk(?) discovered evidence that was put in the court record and like that a days journey away no way they teleported the physical objects into the court. also like really??? the knob and evacuation drill instructions are evidence but the bullet hole in the wall and ice aren't?

wait. THEY'RE IN FRANCE AND THE COURT IS IN LONDON and cell phones dont exist. ehhhhh iris alreadyhas magic blood identification smoke i suppose this isnt too much a stretch in a world where literal magic exists.

[korasonata]

Joe and Cleo model streams extended cut Part 2! (Streams 3 and 4)

—

STREAM 3

—

Cleo (reading chat): “Be careful with that thing” Im very careful with knives. Except for that time when I wasn’t.

—

Cleo (in response to chat asking about her friend Corpse): Corpse is not my husband. Ok? And they wouldn’t be anyway. Because they.

—

Cleo: I’m very confused Joe. I don’t know how to feel.

—

Cleo: Ok. I can do that. We can do that chat! I believe in you and myself…I- I don’t. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t.

Joe: That’s why you got me here to believe in you!

Cleo: Awww, thanks Joe!

Joe: You’re welcome Cleo!

—

Cleo (reading chat): “Black beer or clear beer?” No beer! I don’t believe in beer, it’s fictional. That’s just how it goes.

Joe: Yeah. Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you.

—

Joe: One of my viewers asks “are you and Cleo real life childhood friends?” Yes, obviously as you can tell from our accents—

Both: We grew up—

Joe: On the same block—

Cleo: Yeah.

Joe: Uh, along the Thames there—

Cleo: Yes.

Joe: You know, we took different paths in life. Cleo obviously went to university and perused geology and teaching, whereas I ended up with an asbo and a bunch of weird telekinetic powers and things just kind of went wild from there.

Cleo: Yeah.

Joe: But now we’re back together again.

Cleo: Yeah! I mean— I mean after you saved the world a few times. It’s, ah…it’s necessary it— it felt right. To come back together.

Joe: Yep. It’s just— it’s just…it was time.

Cleo (reading chat): You thought Joe Hills was from Glasgow? Oh no no no no no no. No no, same— it’s a cockney accent, can’t you tell?

Joe: Yeah, that’s why I’m so good at rhyming.

Cleo: *snickering* I don’t think they believe us.

—

Joe: What is the British equivalent of a coffee shop?

Cleo: Umm…a coffee shop.

—

Joe: It looks like piece 3/4 will make sense at some point in the future.

Cleo: But today is not that day. And to be honest, tomorrow’s not looking great either.

—

Cleo (reading chat): *laughing* Joe thinks everyone is as well adjusted as he is!

Joe: Oh, I’m terribly adjusted! Do not adjust your Joes! It won’t help, we’ve tried!

—

Joe (reading chat): “You all heard Cleo say Joe would look good in shorts right?”

Cleo: *heavy sigh*

Joe: I mean, I’m gonna say, I’m not getting as much exercise as I used to, so it’s- don’t get your hopes up Cleo.

Cleo: I- I-…I mean, there’s only one person I wanna see in shorts and it’s not you, so we’re all good.

—

Joe (in British accent): Spot on.

Cleo: Better. You’re getting better at that you know. You’re not great, but you’re getting better.

Joe: Yeah. Well the thing is I need to be able to blend when I’m there. You know I don’t wanna call attention to myself in my accent.

Cleo: …Joe?

Joe: Yeah?

Cleo: Nothing you ever do is blendable.

Joe: …That explains why I’m so bad at painting. And making margaritas. Just kidding, I’m great at making margaritas. The secret is to get real Cointreau.

Cleo: I…Don’t— I’ve never really had a margarita.

Joe: WHAAAAAAAAAT??!!?!

—

STREAM 4

—

Joe: So, I’ve got to cut up the last couple pieces from my fourth page out of 17.

Cleo: Is this where I tell you I’ve got about 6 pages left on the dot?

Joe: Out of how many, though?

Cleo: Out of about…14?

Joe: Wow, so you’re like, halfway there.

Cleo: Well, literally the instructions say I’m halfway there. Although—

Joe: Oh really? They congratulate you on that?

Cleo: W—no, they—they—……thanks Joe…

—

Joe: I bet whoever makes those models, now that you and I are getting them back in vogue, it’s like “oh no! If only I hadn’t sold the last one to Cleo, I could sell 1000 of these today.”

Cleo: I mean, I don’t think anybody in the stream is going to go out and buy one when they’ve seen what it’s done to us. And our souls. Or lack thereof.

—

Joe (reading chat): “If Joe is Jar Jar and Cleo is Padme, who’s Bail Organa?” …I dunno, VintageBeef.

Cleo: *laughing* Just—Just VintageBeef.

Joe: Just VintageBeef.

Cleo: It just is! You and I both know that, so you guys need to know it.

Joe: Yeah, cause like I don’t think Bail Organa had any kids.

Cleo: Yeah he did, he had Leia.

Joe: Well, but he adopted Leia.

Cleo: Ok.

Joe: And VintageBeef seems like, of all the Hermits, the one to most likely actually have the capacity to take on that sort of responsibility? I don’t know…

Cleo: No no, I can— I’m just running through the Hermits in my head, and I’m just like yeah that—that reads. That reads pretty well.

—

Joe (Dude bro voice): Has your heart even been weighed by Anubis, bro?

Cleo (dude bro voice): *laughing* Do you even lift? (Regular voice)…or no. That’s the opposite of what you want to do with a heart���

—

Cleo: I threaten to murder people all the time. One might say it’s part of my brand.

—

Cleo (reading chat): “Death threats are Cleo’s love language” *laughing* You’re not wrong.

—

Cleo: I’ve made plenty of mistakes! Learn from me! Like plenty of mistakes, which is why I’m doing this in my 40s. Joe just made his mistakes faster, that’s why he’s doing it in his 30s.

SILENCE

Joe: …Most of the jokes I wanna make about that, I—just in case my kid is tuning into the stream I’m gonna not—

Cleo: *laughing*

Joe: Because I am legally required not to disparage my ex-wife in front of her.

—

Cleo (in response to someone saying Joe’s hands are sufficient): No, my hands are sufficient. Joe has dexterous, wonderful hands. Get it right chat.

—

Cleo (about her Garrus mug): Next stream I shall use this for my beverage which I shall pretend is coffee. Which is what I used to do to the children at school.

Joe: Wait, you would pretend you were drinking coffee? What were you actually drinking? Rum?

—

Joe: My best is still the same, but my worst is getting less bad.

Cleo: That’s depressing and accurate. All at the same time.

Joe (tiredly): Yay! I strive for accuracy in all of my depressing statements. Cause it makes it harder to rebut them.

Cleo (softly and with care): I know.

—

Cleo (mocking people who push boundaries): If you were a PIN, what would you be?

Joe: *laughing* Like a PIN number?!

Cleo: Yeah!

Both: *laughing*

Joe: If you could be any PIN code—

Cleo: If you had an—what—what was your favourite PIN code, for example?

Joe: What’s your favourite 4-digit number?

Cleo: *laughing* What’s the 4-digit number you remember most in the world?

Joe: What’s the easiest to remember 4-digit number?

—

Cleo: I’m not going to get sushi from the Asda!

Joe (voice steadily getting higher): Oh my gosh, I am so glad that my face camera is off when we do those collab streams with Xisuma. Because like *laughing through the pain* a lot of them are just me screaming internally, but I’m not pushing to talk. And the reason I’m not pushing to talk is I’m also kind of screaming externally? And it’s just like, it’s just— *very high pitched incomprehensible gibberish*

Cleo: You—you do wonder sometimes with, with—with him. *laughing* See, thing is sometimes I’m not sure if he’s being serious or not, so—

Joe: If he says that he buys sushi at the Asda, I’m like 99% confident that he’s being serious.

Cleo: *laughing* He’s adorable and needs to be protected from this world.

[parvulous-writings]

Not on My Watch // Jesse McCree x F!Reader

Request:   Howdy! Perhaps another Mccree fic? 👀 Mccree and fem S/o decides to have a chill leisure and some dude catcalled s/o and Mccree witnessed it? what do he do? 😳🤠 (loved the previous fic you did for me im still reading it til this day!!)

Requested by: @fragolaaaaaaa​

Summary: McCree takes you out, and you get cat-called.

Warnings: catcalling, alcohol, explicit language.

Words: 1.2K

Notes:  Howdy! I had quite a bit of fun with this one! I’m happy to hear you’re still reading my other fic for you! Makes me smile! My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!

Not my gif

It was one of McCree’s rare days off, and he had insisted on taking you out for the evening to one of his old local haunts, an old bar in the middle of Deadlock Grange. The entire town may have had some less than savoury memories, but he was hoping that spending some time there with you would clear those away or at least push them to the side.  All he wanted was to share a drink with you on a day off, hear you laugh and see you smile at something stupid he’s said. That was his plan- share drinks with you (preferably something involving whisky for himself), maybe get a little less sober and have some real quality time together, away from the buzz of the Overwatch complex. 

That was his plan. Initially, things had gone really well- you were now a couple of drinks in, and absolutely loving your time together. You personally couldn’t see why Deadlock Grange was so bad, even after all the tales you had been told. Jesse had gone to get the third round for the pair of you, more than happy to be paying for all of these drinks.  Whilst he was gone, someone else saddled up on the stool behind you. You didn’t think anything of it at first, anyone in the facility had right to sit at the bar, rather than at at table. It was when he started speaking to you that the problems started to arise. 

“Well, hey there, doll,” He greeted, leaning closer to you- so close that you could smell the alcohol on his breath; practically taste it as you turned to give him a distasteful look, to try and show him you were not in any way interested. However, he seemed to take this as the exact opposite of what you had intended. He shuffled so that he sat on the edge of his seat, his face mere inches from your own.  “Haven’t seen you round here before... You new?”  “Not exactly, could you please-”  “Show you around? Sure thing... I’d love to...” He gave you a lopsided grin, brushing some of his greasy, auburn locks from his forehead, clearly trying to make himself appear more attractive. It didn’t work very well at all.  “No, that’s not what I was going to say.” You reply, giving him another disgusted look. He seemed to pout a little bit at your words, but you did not cave in to those green faux puppy eyes.  “Shame...” He half laments. “I could’ve shown you my place.. Real special, I think you’d like it. ‘Specially the bedroom.” He gave you a sly wink that made your skin crawl. 

You move to turn away from him again, but he puts his hand on your shoulder and pulls you back. “Oh come on, now, doll.” He coos. “Don’t be that way, I was being so nice to you, weren’t I?” He pauses, quirking his brow. “Or did you want something more?” He started to grin- but not the kind of grin you would have wanted to see on someone’s face. This one was sick, and twisted, and outright vile. He used his hand on your shoulder to slowly but surely pull you closer to him, till you were practically sitting on his lap. His arms were like the coils of a constrictor as they slowly wrapped themselves around you, holding you in place and preventing your plan of escape. 

You heard someone clearing their throat near McCree’s seat- sure enough, it was the gunslinger himself. “’Scuse me, sir.” The needless honourific was drenched in Southern venom, a poison you hadn’t heard him use often at all. This kind of tone was used for people like Reyes or O’Deorain- people who had wronged him substantially, and caused his blood to boil even to this day.  The man turned his eyes to Jesse, giving an unsavoury look in his direction. “Can I help you?” He quipped back, and though your eyes were fixed on McCree, you could hear the snarl on your aggressor’s face.  “Yeah, actually.” Jesse put the tray of drinks- two pints and some shots- on the surface of the bar. They landed with a clank, and it was surprising that they didn’t topple over or break with the force of the landing. “That’s my girl,” He gestured to you as he spoke. The man just scoffed.  “Yeah I don’t think that she is.” He replied with a roll of his eyes. This just infuriated Jesse; you didn’t think you’d ever seen such fire flash behind those earthy irises of his. 

His hands started to ball into fists by his sides as he tried desperately to keep his nerve. “I suggest that you step away from ‘er, right now.” He warned, his tone dark and dangerous. You could just tell he was seconds from snapping, and you’d never even seen him this angry before.  “And what if I don’t, huh? What’re you gonna do?” The man challenged, “I could give you a new one of those, real easy.” He gestured to McCree’s metal arm. “You can’t do shit, cowboy.” The man slowly got to his feet, flicking the brim of Jesse’s hat as he finished his sentence. 

It was then that McCree snapped. He grabbed the collar of the man’s shirt and yanked him away from you- with such a force that it caused Jesse’s victim to yelp, and not quietly either. It caused close tables to stop their conversation, as McCree started to drag the man who tried to woo his girl, his sugarcube outside. It was something he simply could not accept, something that could not go unpunished. Once he had gotten the man onto the dusty road outside the bar, he tossed him to the ground face first.  “You stay the fuck away from her!” He growled, kicking the man back down when he tried to get up. The man’s auburn hair stuck to his face and got in his eyes as he groaned.  “I didn’t even do anything!” He protested weakly.  “You tried, and that’s what I’m angry about. You leave her the fuck alone, or you’ll be gettin’ more than some bruises, I promise ya that!” He vowed, and even this stranger seemed to get the memo. Finally. 

With that final threat, Jesse returned to you- taking off his hat and placing it on the bar as he sat beside you. “Sorry about that, sugarcube....” He apologised, seeming genuinely remorseful that he had left you alone, even for a moment. “And for losin’ my cool...” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke. You placed a hand on his, showing him some affection to comfort him.  “It’s fine Jesse... I liked it, really.” You chuckled, brushing some of his deep brown locks from his brow. “It shows you care... And it was pretty damn sexy.”  McCree looked at you for a moment, slightly baffled, before he began to smile, reaching for one of the drinks still on the tray. “Well, if that’s the case... I’m mighty relieved I could be of assistance to ya...” He took a small sip of his drink, before he felt your warm lips against the stubble on his cheek.  “You know, cowboy, I meant it when I said that was sexy...” You whisper to him. He seems to get your hint, and starts to chuckle.  “Finish your drink off, pumpkin.” He tells you, “Then maybe I’ll give you a lil’ something’.” He winked at you- and his wink was one you genuinely adored; it sent shivers down your spine and made butterflies flutter in your stomach.  “Alright, cowboy...” You smirk, picking up your drink, starting to sip at it. It will be a fun night indeed.. 

[jangofctts]

omg I just read so much of your writing and I’m 🥺🥰🥲🥵 the absolute royalty shit that we see here today. i’ve recently discovered I am very into ~thigh riding~ so do u have any thots on how our boys (especially our clone babes) feel about it? much obliged

IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS ALL DAY KEJHKJRH SO HERE YOU GO OMG

boba: yEs--boba absolutely adORES when you crawl into his lap and straddle his thigh. he’ll either pat his lap and invite you up or it’s one of those times when he’s intentionally ignoring you and you have force your way onto his lap so he has to pay attention. imo the first time you ride his thigh you weren't intending to, you wanted to fuck him but with boba, if you want something from him he’s gonna do it his way or twist it into something to tease you. so he’ll say something like “if you’re so desperate, ride my thigh” or maybe “ride my thigh and then we’ll see if you deserve my cock.” he’ll sit back and enjoy the show with a smug grin, one hand gripping your hip. he’s not controlling your pace, it’s mostly just there as an anchor bc you’re gonna be doing all the work. you’re lucky if you get to ride his bare thigh, but most of the time he’s got pants on so they always end up soaked after you cum and boba always teases you for it, “ruined another pair of pants, little one” but really he isn't even one to talk, he’ll be rock hard and leaking through his pants too. he’ll also nine times out of ten put his fingers or thumb into your mouth to suck on while he flexes and pushes the hard muscle of his thigh up to your cunt. he likes that satisfaction of knowing that even his thigh can make you shudder and whine his name--a bit of a power trip esp if he’s sitting on the throne. he’ll fuck you nice and hard afterwards if you’re a good little princess for him          

din: din wants you to ride the beskar thigh plating. he doesn't realize it’s a thing he finds arousing until you sit over his thigh and he sees the heat from your thighs fog up the metal while your arousal smears over the shiny beskar. literally it’s like something just CRACKS in him and he goes feral for it. a dark thrill that comes from seeing your cunt drip over his precious armor, something so sacrilegious that shouldn't be arousing but it’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen. sure, it’s a bit cold at first but the more you get into it the quicker it heats up--it’s slippery too, not a lot of friction unless you drag your clit over the seams of the armor, but with din’s hands holding onto your hips and dragging you over his thigh, it’s not long before you cum. din is gonna be encouraging you the whole time, just a constant flow of praise and little moans of his own. he might bury a hand in your hair or slip off his glove and touch your clit when your hips roll up into his hand. he’d loose his mind if you lended a hand and palmed him through his pants. he doesn't even care if he ruins his trousers, he’s just so...fixated on the hypnotic motions of your hips rolling over his thigh, your wetness dripping off the plating and onto the floor. he might focus on your mouth, parted with gasping moans or how they roll the syllable of his name. he likes to watch you come undone like this, shuddering and whiney as you cum and eventually roll off his thigh. he probably busts a nut right then and there if you start to roll your tongue over the beskar, happily cleaning up the mess you made. but....sometimes...lick it off himself just to get a taste of you       

paz: big boy blue ALSO likes when you ride his beskar, but he likes it better when the armor is off and he gets to feel your wetness for himself. he has big ol’ beefy thighs and likes when you straddle one and start to ride him like that. imo he likes it when youre pressed up right near his cock so when you roll forward your own thigh brushes against his cock. it’s also just easier for him to grab your hips, set a pace and watch you squirm and whine. ngl he’s more interested in fucking you, so he’ll get cheeky and start jerking his thigh or holding you in place while he circles his thumb over your clit. p much will sabotage your wild ride and convince you to slide onto his cock instead. though,....if you were to tie him up, tease him bye riding his thigh, he might like that :)  

rex: oH rexY BOY--listen, rex has heard ALL about thigh riding, or rather what the clones like to call it, “paint job”. he doesn't understand the big deal, thinks that it’d be a complete hassle to clean and what not. in my oPiNiOn he’ll be sitting with you in an empty break room or on a couch, you both have feelings for each other but nothing's been said yet. somehow the topic of paint jobs come up and he tells you what he thinks and how it “couldn't possibly feel good, blah blah blah”. you just roll your eyes and you ask if he’s even tried it. he definitely blushes and mumbles out a no and with a leap of faith you ask him if he wants you to ride his thigh. baby boy rex gets very shy and embarrassed about it but he’s not gonna say no. so you’ll flash him a little grin and peel off your pants and your over shirt, make rex relax against the back of the couch/chair and sit over his plastoid covered thigh. even though when you start to grind on his thigh you still have your underwear on, rex with pick a corner of the room to just stare at. it’s not because he doesn't like you, he’s just incredibly shy and afraid he’ll cum in his pants if he looks at you. you gotta cup his jaw and force him to look at you. when that happens his eye will immediately drop to between your legs and just moan at the sight. he gets it now. seeing your arousal that’s already leaking through the thin fabric and staining the blue and white plastoid--he has to grip the fucking sidearm to anchor himself. his armor is one of the only things that he owns and is proud of, so seeing you riding his thigh, moaning and whimpering his name he goes wild for that shit. unfortunately he does end up cumming in his pants but eh fuck it. it was worth it   

cody: he likes when you ride his thigh in semi public places like the 79′s, debrief room, gunships, you name it. imma explain the 79′s scenario bc im a whore but anyway, cody likes to bring you on dates there, one because the drinks are free for him, two it’s dark and so unless someone is really looking at the two of you, it’s pretty secluded. he always chooses a back corner table and after a couple drinks you start to get handsy--nuzzling his neck and wiggling your fingers between the gaps separating his thigh and codpiece. it alWAYS starts like that. cody will chuckle, push his nose into your neck and nibble a line up to your ear, then bite down onto the cartilage. in that dark, rumbly voice he might sigh “such a depraved little creature. we’re in public”. but you can feel his smile and how is pulse quickens under your fingertips. cody will sigh and shake his head as he pulls you onto his lap, bUT--he’s gonna have you with your back to his chest plate, your dress/skirt/pants rolled up or down just barely in the view of anyone who glances over or looks a little closer. it’d be no secret what you both were up to but cody likes that. dude doesn't have any shame and so he’ll wrap an arm over your hip, push you panties to the side and slide his fingers through your folds. once they're coated in your arousal he might pop them into his mouth or yours, clean them off then flex his thigh onto your pussy. when he asks you to grind on his thigh you readily agree. while you ride his thigh he’ll nibble at your throat and suck bruises onto your skin, either watching your wet pussy slide over the plastoid armor or on the look out in case one of his brothers comes near. one time, just as you started to cum, a couple fresh shiny’s got an entire eyeful of you arching and burying your nose into cody’s neck as he rolled his fingers over your clit. safe to say they were a bit spooked--but of course, cody thought it was the funniest thing and couldn't stop laughing even if you were close to tears with embarrassment. now....he doesn't invite anyone to watch, but he wouldn't say no to a few prying eyes          

wolffe: I feel like with wolffe, it’s gonna be right after a mission--one of you might've almost died or gotten real hurt so he’s not thinking about fucking you properly--he just want his mouth on yours, hands buried in your hair as he pins you against the wall. I dont think he initially meant for you to ride his thigh, but when he wedges it between your legs and you moan into his mouth the second he increases the pressure, he freezes. he’ll do it again and when it receives the same reaction from you he smirks and tugs on your hair and might say smthn like “you like that? if you wanted to ride my thigh you could've asked sooner”. he’s either focused on your face or on your pussy, just soaking up all your little reactions or twitches when you roll your cunt over the plastoid. he'll have both hands on your hips, helping you grin up on him, while you either cup his face or grip his arm. either way youre in for a wild fucking ride--wolffe tbh wants to see his armor dripping by the time he’s done with you. sO do nOT be surprised if he just, doesn't let you stop, pushes you to keep going until he’s satisfied. imo I think he’ll make you lick it up after, or just in general would really Like It if you run your tongue over any part of his armor. he likes to be Appreciated :)

wrecker (im sorry I just nEEDed to include him kejkejh): honestly since baby boy wrecker is uh, so big, thigh riding is some of the first things you try with him. you’ll both be butt ass naked bc it’s just easier to explore like this, and while wrecker is eager he knows he has to think about his strength in order not to overwhelm or hurt you unintentionally. he’s a bit of a goof ball so when you straddle his thigh and bring his thicC fingers to your cunt he’ll smile and say some shit like “wow, you’re wet” or like “is it always this wet/soft?” he doesn't mean for it to be teasing, it's more like he’s just stating a fact bc he’s curious about you. you just nod and say it’s all for you, baby/only for you. the second you put your cunt over his thigh he’ll curse and clamp his hands around your hips or ribcage, and just to make the experience all that better for him, you’ll jerk him off while you ride him. wrecker is very vocal/loud and so you’ll know exactly what you’re doing that he likes--he’ll probably tell you how pretty you look, or how good you smell etc., that bOY IS SO FULL OF LOVE and just wants to tell you! it doesn't take long for him to spill into your hand, he shakes and no doubt wakes up half the barrack/ship but who the fuck cares. you just smile and continue to ride his thigh, chasing your own thigh. once he recovers a bit, you can grab his fingers and show him how you like to be touched. he’s a surprisingly quick learner with this and so it doesn't take long for you to cum. afterwards he’ll run his fingers over his thigh, collect the mess you left and taste you and maybe say “you should ride my face. can we do that?”     

[nightferns]

How c!Ranboo's attitude towards c!Wilbur lines up with everything he's been told | a quote list

All /rp of course

So on Tubbo's last lore stream (my new purpose) Ranboo said this:

"-thats why im here so when he does something that does redeem himself then someone can be there that will be able to see it and everything, and honestly i'd rather have it be me the person, rather have the person that be there be me instead of maybe someone else[...]"

And then this, when asked why he didn't tell Wilbur about marriage:

"[...]From what i've heard from Tommy and everything the Wilbur that 13 years ago- at least might've- he used stuff against Tommy and everything so just in case- "

And it made me wonder what exactly lead him to that opinion so i spent a day ghathering quotes in which Ranboo heard/or was told something about Wilbur, before the revival. Its a bit of a long one so strap in.

Convos about Alivebur that Ranboo either listened to or was a part of, pre-meeting him.

Vod: Tubbo and Tommyinnit Start To Break Apart…

TommyVods

Tommy [talking about Techno]: -Wilbur died in action, so he doesn't- so he didn't live long enough to face the consequences, but that guy he is a fucking bitch.

Ranboo: So he was fighting with you and then he decided to go against you.

Tommy: yeah. He decided that the last minute "Hey! Hey what im gonna do is fuck everyone over."

Ranboo: Oh… so he was sort of a vigilante of sorts? His own-

 [...]

Tommy: sit down [on the bench]…  fuck. I just want back the discs, that's all- thats all I've wanted everytime im sat on this bench, that's all we've wanted.

Ranboo: Yeah, I can tell... You seem pretty adamant about those.

Tommy: Yeah! It's because-! Literally bro- since the- four months! [...] four months ago is when I first started trying to get these discs! And it was just me, Tubbo- there was no Technoblade on this server! There were like 6 people- and it was just me and tub- there was no nation there was no- it's always been about getting back the shit dream stole from this very chest!

So now Tubbo's gotten this position of power and is doing it- it's dis- it's disappointing.

B-but thank you, for sticking up for me, no one did that, you saw big Q fucking turning on me- you saw Fundy- they're-  they're just sheep bro, they're just sheep. Thank you

Ranboo: Well, you stuck up for me when you could've easily pinned it on me. You could've just said "oh, he was the one that did it", because- i mean, my name was being said in there too, but then you just decided to take all of it and now we're in this situation.

So I couldn't just let that happen, I couldn't stand by, have Tubbo call you selfish when you did something- the opposite.

Tommy: Thank you-

If they evict me through- that is it he-

Ranboo: yeah.

Tommy: -dude, you know i'm worried- i- i don't want to, i know there's that one line that we- that rings through my head as i sleep l of Wilbur going "Tommy, let's be the bad guys." But I wanna- i don't wanna be the bad guys. I just want-

Ranboo: I don't think that's- that's not a good thing to do.

Tommy: The reason- do I say this now? Yeah-  The reason I didn't make Tubbo the leader, when I had- and I could've chose anyone, and I chose Wilbur, the man who was already half-insane but I knew he was coming back around, and I didn't choose Tubbo.

Is because i knew that if tubbo was the president,

it would pull us apart Ranboo, and look at him he's picking his nation over me. And i- and if he does on Friday I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself.

Ranboo: No matter what happens on friday i'll help you. I'll-I'll figure it out- I'll try to talk to Tubbo, i'll try to see if something better can happen.

.

Vod: *Archive* Mar 6, 2021

Philza

Phil: [places down a picture of Wilbur] my son.

Ranboo: Oh. There he is.

Phil: I wanna put his picture in the-in the meeting room, cruz i want to be reminded, i miss him, it's lik- he's been gone a long time.

Ranboo: He has. He really has. He's been gone, before I even came here.

Phil: He did some dumb shit y'know. And my hand was forced, in a sense, but I miss him everyday, I do miss him.

Ranboo: Oh, yeah i heard about that

Phil: I do wish he'd come back.

Ranboo: Yeah, Well… well I mean, wasn't he a ghost for a little bit?

Phil: Yeah, but that wasn't really him-

Ranboo: Oh.

Phil: That was- That was like the pure kind of innocent version of him if that was to exist I think, he was very kind of uhm- it was just not him though, it was just not him. So it was kind of like talking to a doll of like- someone.

Ranboo: I mean- I mean it's the most you're able to get at least. Like-

Phil: Yeah…

[...]

Phil: -sad, miss child, miss, maybe i shouldn't have stabbed him but you know.

Ranboo: Yeah, well i mean- yeah.

Phil: I Bet if- i bet if- if i was to talk to him again he' would- he would probably forgive me, he- he definitely was at the end of his rope and i dunno maybe he'd think of it differently.

Ranboo: I mean, it was his wishes, I mean he wouldn't- it was his wishes, it wasn't- like- he wouldn't- he wouldn't not forgive you for following what he asked you to do.

Phil: Yeah. I dunno.

Ranboo: But- one day hopefully-

Phil: Can't help but think if i did the right thing or not sometimes.

Ranboo: I mean, when you think about what he would have done if you hadn't, you know?

Phil: Yeah, he was out of control.

Ranboo: Like if you- if you hadn't like- would anything- would anything have changed?

Phil: I dunno, I kinda showed up at the most chaotic time possible and yeah it was just- didn't really have a lot of time to process things. It was like "Hey I should probably stop him from blowing up this place" that I had no real knowledge of other than that he helped build it. That's all I heard. I got- i got like letters from him just like telling me what he'd been up to and stuff, and that he was having fun with this friends and then the letters stopped, and i got worried so i started to like- 

Ranboo: mhm.

Phil: -make my way over to this area.

Ranboo: Yeah.

Phil: And I was right to worry, apparently.

Ranboo: I mean, I don't know, I think- I mean, I think there's really- there's really nothing you can do about it now, you know? There's- it's really like- you can- you can try and get closure but I mean, the ghost- Ghostbur is missing in action and he has been for a little while, and...

Phil: Yeah, whenever I talked to Ghostbur I didn't really feel like I was talking to him though, like it wasnt really- It was him but it wasn't him, like-

Ranboo: Yeah.

Phil: It's hard to explain.

Ranboo, I mean you just- i- i think you did the right thing even though its not- it wasn't the optimal thing, you know? I mean, was it the best solution? Probably not, but it was still a solution so.. I'd say you still did a good thing even though in your eyes it's probably not good, but what else were you gonna- what else were we gonna do?

Phil: Yeah, true.

Ranboo: yeah.

.

Vod: Tommy's Plan to Kill Dream

TommyVods

Tommy: Tubbo, I died. I spoke to Schlatt, I spoke to Wilbur, Wilbur Soot, alright?

Tubbo: Has Schlatt changed his ways? Or is he still smoking and drinking-

Tommy: Tubbo, they've been in there for so long, and so many years, alright?

Tubbo: Years? They've only died months ago-

Tommy: Tubbo, I was in that prison for about… month and five days, alright. Time in death though? I was here for months and months and months! Time's different when you d- Don't tell anyone this- Time's different when you die.

Tubbo: So you're older, now curz-

Tommy: I don't, I don't know! [...]

.

Tommy: -But Listen to me! I've seen everything! I know so much more than you now, I've been with the dead and I know so much more! So much more I'm not willing to explain. But listen to me we need to kill him, before it's too late-

[...]

.

Tubbo: Why is it different now? Why are we killing him- why didn't we just kill him to begin with, when we had the chance? Why did you put it off?

Tommy: Because Tubbo i thought he would use the revive book for go- ok, this is what he said to me he said he will only use the revivebook to revive Wilbur, and he said that that when he gets out out of the he's gonna hurt, not just you, but everyone i care for, he's gonna hurt everyone. So please we need to kill him.

[...]

Tubbo: So why don't you want him to bring Wilbur back now? What suddenly changed? 

Tommy: I've spent months in the death area- well- let's call it the death zone, with Wilbur, right.

Tubbo: the death zone? Like limbo-

Tommy: I've spent months there, I've spent months and months and months there and I was only there for a few days, Wilbur's been there for real months, he is so different and he is powerful and you know how he molds me like a piece of clay Tubbo. I don't want him to come back, we can't let him come back, and Dream said to me that he'll revive Wilbur.[...]

.

Tommy: No, i spoke to you, not Ghostbur, i spoke to you

Ghostbur: But i am Ghostbur

Tommy: I spoke to Wilbur,

Ghostbur: You don't wanna talk to him.

Tommy: I know, I never wanna talk to him again.

Ghostbur: He's not very nice, he's not a nice guy.

Tommy: Acu- Ghostbur i've got a question for you, do you want him to come back?

Because i- i don't, i don't think i do ever ever.

Ghostbur: He's a- i- uhm.. t-the world needs- needs structure and order and he he's good at that, he did that but- i-

Tommy: No, the world needs less villains, and he was a villain if I've ever seen one.

Ghostbur: But a villain is just a- sometimes the line's a little blurry, you could say, a little blurry it's a tiny bit, it's like a villain- a villain is just a hero you haven't convinced yet.

Tubbo: I'm not sure I follow you.

Tommy: No, but he started as hero, he started as a hero and then he was the villain.

Ghostbur: Well-

Tommy: I don't think we should bring him back ever. 

Ghostbur: Oh…

Tommy: I think you should-  you like being a ghost don't you? Hey! Look bl- Red! You can stand on the red! [...]

.

Ghostbur: Yeah,i- i- i like it here but  we were talking about this and i thought we wanted to bring back Wilbur, because he understood-

Tommy: No-

Ghostbur: -because, because L'manburg got blown up-

Tommy: No! No no no no, We don't want to bring back Wilbur, i've spent months with Wilbur, wh-when you die times different Ghostbur, i know i can speak to you 'cause you don- you keep secrets, times different, alright? i've spent so long with Wilbur,

Ghostbur: How- how long?

Tommy: Months and months and months alright? And if i was here for months, he's been there for years, possibly decades, he can't come back.

This isnt a-

Ghostbur: How- how- so what's the corversion? What's the- how long-

 Tommy: What's the conversion rate?-

Ghostbur: yeah, what's the-

Tommy: -God, you sound like a fuckin' bitcoin miner.

Ghostbur: -If time's different in the- in the- in the dead land then what's the- what do you call it? Limbo- if time is different in limbo then what's- what's- what's the difference?

Tommy: I don't really know. But I was there, apparently, I was dead, according to the Dream but he does lie, I was dead for- for 3 days. And i was there for-

Ghostbur: And how long, how long was that in months?

Tommy: I don't know, i can- i can say  months and months, i- i'd- i'd say between three to seven?

Ghostbur: Okey.

Tommy: So the middle, four point five.

Ghostbur: -So Wilbur's been dead for ten to twelve years.

Tommy: And there's a lot to learn when you're dead, innit?

Ghostbur: What did you learn? I've just forgotten things.

Tommy: Oh I learned about bad shit.

Ghostbur: Yeah?

Tommy: Do you know what Wilbur did? He very slowly and excruciatingly, over an entire month, explained to me what hemorrhoids was and it hurt me so much.

And then he'd go on about all the books he has been reading. It was terrible, it was the wor-

Tubbo: Did you see each other? Or were you just-

Tommy: Oh, Don't make me talk about it! Don't make me talk about it! Oh, it was- it was the worst!

.

Ghostbur: Tommy why didn't you want Wilbur back?

Tommy: Well… I spent a long long time speaking to Wilbur in- when I was dead. And i- and when I wanted to bring him back I thought he- I thought there was still some brotherness there, I thought maybe he's still my pal. And I found out he's not- he's only grown worse.

Ghostbur: He spent a lot of time around a bad guy, he spent, like a decade you said, around- around Schlatt and Schlatt's the bad- Schlatt's the bad guy right?

Tommy: I don't think Schlatt's the only bad guy.

Ghostbur: He's a bad guy right? Him and Eret are the bad guys right? That's the- that's the-

Tubbo: Yes, more or less.

Ghostbur: That's what you told me.

Ranboo: And Dream of course.

Tommy: There's a lot more bad guys.

[...]

.

Vod: Ranboo prepares with tommyinnit to take down dream on the dream smp full stream (VOD)

Ranboo Vods

Ranboo: [About Dream] He's trapped in there and we thought he was powerless but even in there he still has power that's why we're killing him actually. Its because-

Ghostbur: What's the worst he could do with the power?

Ranboo: He could bring back the people that are- well, technically the villains in this story, and then get out. And then start to do what he did before he got into prison, just again, and probably worse honestly!

Ghostbur: He's gonna bring back Schlatt?

Ranboo: He can bring back anyone that's died.

[...]

Ghostbur: Also- um, so are we- are we not bringing back Wilbur anymore? Is that… off the table? 'Cause Phil and Technoblade and- and- and people are still keen- and Eret is keen to bring back Wilbur. And i- i'm- Ranboo i gotta tell you i'm really scared. I- i'm not scared of Wilbur i think.

Ranboo: Yeah.

Ghostbur: I'm scared of going back to.. nothing. I- I'll be gone again. I dont- I- i kinda like being here and i like all my friends and i don't...

Ranboo: Yeah. See it's different with me because I never knew Wilbur, i never met Wilbur. I've only met, well you… so...

Ghostbur: I- I think im pretty- I like to think im pretty neat.

Ranboo: Yeah i think you're pretty neat too. I don't- i don't think-

Ghostbur: Yus!

Ranboo: I mean, Honestly i'd- i never knew Wilbur, i never met him but I mean,  what i've been told, he seemed like he had good intentions and- and i mean, i think that's kinda what you are, you are his good intentions.

Ghostbur: In a pint sized glass.

Ranboo: yeah.

Ghostbur: in a little package, little package.

Ranboo: yeah!

Ghostbur: I've read his memoirs Ranboo, i've read- they are all gone now they were blown up when my library was destroyed, so many really important pieces of history were blown up when that library was destroyed.

Ranboo: Definitely yeah.

Ghostbur: But I have- i read his memoirs and he- he was- he was pretty ok! Most of the time, he seemed like he was- people liked him but then- then- then he lost this election and- and- and you know the story, everyone knows the story. 

Ranboo: yeah, yeah.

Ghostbur: But i just- i- from seeing how much everything went down and how Tubbo was- was really badly you know? Scared with- by- by- you know? the explosion and things which- thinking about it that's- maybe was Technoblade's fault and Phil's fault, but um, because of all this now more than ever it's really important that we have a leader and that's why i was on the side on bringing him back

and if- if things have changed, if you tell me i'll go along with whatever you say if- if you think Ghostbur sticks around, i'll stick around but if you think Wilbur- Wilbur sticks around i'll- i'll do whatever it takes to help you! I just- I just wanna help! I just wanna help Ranboo!

Ranboo: yeah, im-

Ghostbur: -And i can see it in you that you know what's best.

Ranboo: The thing is i- i really don't. i mean, Ha- Wilbur... he seemed good, when you read anyone's memoirs it helps them… kinda rationalize the way that they think so- i honestly don't know, because-

Ghostbur: History is written by the winners.

Ranboo: Yeah and he, he technically won, I mean he did what he wanted to.

Ghostbur: but then he lost and everyone hates him.

Ranboo: I don't- i don't think everyone hates him. I don't really hate him. I mean, it's like hearing about a historical figure. I mean he did good things yeah, but he also did bad things so. I- i'm indifferent as i am with a lot of things.

Ghostbur: I'm sure- i'm sure that you'll figure it out

[...]

.

Ranboo: I haven't even heard of Wilbur honestly, i- i've barely heard of Wilbur, i mean, Tubbo really has not told me much about Wilbur other than i mean, he's the one who blew up Manburg the first time. 

But i like Ghostbur i mean, i like- i like Ghostbur i'd say a lot more, because Ghostbur seems nice, i don't think that anything is going wrong right now, i mean if we- if we kill dream then… then uh- ' cause we don't need a leader. 

I really don't know... I really don't know, I don't think we need a leader, because if- if someone rules everyone then- i mean if the leader becomes corrupted, when the leader becomes corrupted then we see what happens. We- we see what happens when someone who leads becomes corrupted, heck i'm a part of an anarchist organization So… I really just don't know what to do.

Because I mean, Tommy doesn't want Wilbur back.

I don't think anyone wants Wilbur back, so why is it even a question?

All I do know is that we definitely have to kill Dream, right? We definitely have to kill Dream. I mean, we gotta- we gotta kill Dream.

I mean, i don't even know if anyone wants him back, i mean, the only person that i would think would be Phil, right? The only person that I'd think would be Phil, so… but Phil's ok now, he's doing alright, shure he's sad now, but I think he'll be good, yeah I think we'll be able to kill Dream and everything will be good!

I mean, if we kill Dream, Wilbur isn't coming back, we won't have to worry about much- we'll still have to worry about things but not on the scale Dream was doing right? Right? [...]

[...] So if everyone's ok without him, I mean, everyone's ok already… right? Everyone's- Everyone's good, I mean, I like Ghostbur, I think that Ghostbur is awesome. I don't know-[...]

.

Ranboo: Oh my goodness. Yeah see, i like Ghostbur a lot more, i like Ghostbur a lot more.

.

Vod: Wilbur's Revival Dream SMP

TommyVods

Tommy: No you don't understand, It's not that he's dead it's that Wilbur's back.

Tubbo: What?

Ranboo: What do you mean Wilbur's back? No, you mean Like- Wilbur? Like-

Tommy: Let's go-

Ranboo: "Press button and blow up" Wilbur, that one?

.

Tommy: No, no ok, listen to me, Did you think I liked Wilbur? Is that what you think this is about Ranboo? Why are you being so unempathetic?

Ranboo: I don't know what you mean! Like-

Tommy: Wilbur is back, Ranboo! Ghostbur is dead!

Ranboo: Yeah-

Tommy: No, no there's only one way to know.

Ranboo: What do you mean? Like- like THE Wilbur? The one that- like your friend?

Tommy: We are not fucking friends, Ranboo.

Ranboo: Wilbur wasn't-? I mean, I knew he did some bad stuff but I thought he was at least kind of your friend. 

Tommy: No, Wilbur was nothing.

Ever since i died Ranboo, we- i spent so long with Wilbur-

Ranboo: Yeah?

Tommy: -and i thought he changed, every time i thought he changed, but Ranboo he never changes, Wilbur never changes… and now he's back.

.

Ranboo: May- Maybe- Maybe he's different you know? I mean, he's been spending a lot of time in the afterlife-

Tubbo: Yeah, he's been dead for a while,

Ranboo: -he probably might be different, you know?

Tommy: He's not different Ranboo, i've been there Ranboo, and he's so much fucking worse. When we go up to him, you two just stand back-[...]

.

[redorich]

It stays in the pit

TW: sparring, weapons, cuts, fighting, hallucinations, minor mention of blood, angst

Hey it’s Split again! Follow me maybe? @split-em I have a lot more oneshots like these coming!

I like attention so maybe drop a like if you enjoy this! It’s about Hermit!Tommy sparring False,, but with a twist!!

This actually has so many words my fingers hurt aaaaaaaaa

Hey uh idk how to do a read more,, maybe if you want you can do that again pleasey? Also I love your hermit Tommy stuff keep up the great work!

(redorich here, thank you for the food lol)

‘It stays in the pit.’

Simple words that mean oh, so much.

When you’re reminded of the horrible memories that come with those words WHILE fighting, they mean so much more.

.

The newest build on hermitcraft is an underground, boxing ring style pit. There are stairs leading into a giant room below ground level with audience benches, a storage room with every different kind of weapon and armour, and a boxing ring in the middle.

When False offered to spar Tommy, she suggested they could do it in the new build that had not yet had its first official match. What made it even better, was that this would be Tommy’s first actual match against False since he first came to the server. She has been training him for months, improving his fighting techniques and strategies. You could say he went under her wing, and now he was ready to spread his own. This was a ‘student duels master’ fight, and the hermits wanted to witness it. They wanted to see how much Tommy had improved.

Though they over exaggerated juuuust slightly, because that sparring suggestion turned into a three (3) round mini tournament, and every single hermit wanted to watch.

Annoyingly bright lights shine down on the otherwise dark, amazingly massive room. The adrenaline in the air is intoxicating; downright addicting. Voices yell loudly, people scream and shout while waving, cameras are out, and Iskall is taking bets by the entrance.

Tommy and False stand across from each other, a confident smirk on each of their faces. The handle of an iron sword is gripped tightly in their hands, and the hermits watching are on the edge of their seats already. Tension mixed with excitement crashes down in waves. It chokes Tommy, but also sends his blood pressure through the roof. He feels like his head is underwater, but he’s walking on clouds. Never in his life has he been so excited yet so scared.

But god, does he want to win.

He exhaled, practically bouncing back and fourth as he waited for the countdown. False’s stare made him break into a cold sweat, but he composed himself. ‘This wouldn’t have been such a big deal if we were alone,’ he thought ‘but this is way more exciting than just fighting on the ground.’

That’s when he heard it.

Tommy looked up. The mayor, Scar, sat higher than any hermit in a chair on a ledge like you’d find in those old time-y theatres. His smile was proud, and he arched with peaked interest. “Holy shit,” Tommy breathed out, glancing back to his opponent “the mayor..”

B-Dub’s voice could be heard shouting with glee. He clearly was just as pumped as the rest of the audience, and you could head the smile in his voice as he counted down through a megaphone.

“Remember, no hard feelings. This is for fun!”

The fighter’s eyes met. False gave him a nod, Tommy looked down at his sword.

“WE ALL GOOD?!”

Tommy was shaking, out of fear or adrenaline he couldn’t tell.

“READY!”

False took in the younger boy, all she could think of was how proud of him she was. Look how far he had came. He went from this quiet and kept to himself boy, to an amazing friend that was full of energy.

“STEADY!”

Impulse looked quite concerned. He didn’t think it would become this big of deal, the sparring offer. But here he sat, chewing on his nails, waiting for what would happen. The rate the energy here made his heart rate increase was higher than any amount of sports drink or red bull could ever manage.

“SET!”

Tommy laughed. He needed to release everything. So he laughed, and felt all his stress melt away. Right now, fight. Right now, focus. Fight like she taught you.

“GO!”

Instantly, the teenager made the first move. No hesitation and certainly no mercy was shown as he swung his sword quick as lightning. It collided with the wood of False’s shield and he was thrown back slightly. False used this to her advantage and advanced on him, slicing horizontally with a small shake of her head.

“FALSE!! GO FALSE!!”

“TOMMY, DODGE!”

Tommy ducked, barely missing the sharp blade, and decided to fake. He stepped forward, jerking the sword forward and waited for False’s shield to come down from it’s position in front of her face before the cold metal cut her shoulder. His next swing was parried, and False managed to make him stumble to the ground as their blades touched and they both pushed with all their might. Cheers rang out, but both fighters knew it wasn’t over.

“WHAT THE-“

“YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING!”

“COME ON KID, LETS GO!”

He saw her raise her sword in the corner of his eye, and in an instant he rolled to the left. Successfully dodging the attack, Tommy quickly put an arrow in a crossbow and hit her..in the wrong arm. “Shit” he hissed. What would Technoblade think of that stupid mistake? False used the pause to take him by surprise and use her other arm to slash him in the thigh with her newly equipped iron axe.

“GET UP, GET UP!”

“COME ON DUDE, GET UP”

He couldn’t. He couldn’t stand. The boy raised one hand, and False stepped away with a smile. If this was anyone else, Tommy would’ve gotten angry. He would’ve cursed them out or spat on their shoe. But this was False, and he knew that smile was one of genuine happiness.

“THE WINNER OF ROUND ONE (1) IS FALSE!”

Screeches and ‘awws’ were muffled in Tommy’s ears by the sound of his heart. He panted, before a dopey grin found it’s way to his face. False helped the other stand, and Cleo was quick to administer healing potions to both of them. “Never let your guard down.” False advised. He could tell she wasn’t mad, but rather in the mood for a quick lesson.

Once the hermit’s noise had died down and the fighters were back in their corners, all healed to full health and full saturation, round two (2) began.

“READY!”

“I’m gonna beat ya, bitch” he swore in his now usual Tommy fashion. False shook her head and couldn’t bite back the chuckle that escaped her

“STEADY!”

“Stop swearing. And, in your dreams.”

“SET!”

“Lets turn this up then, yeah?”

“GO!”

It was different now, they both turned up the heat. They couldn’t help it, it was so much fun to spar and the hermits’ energy only made them feel better and more excited.

Tommy was first again, sprinting towards the older then jumping high with arms gripping an axe above his head. False held her shield up and ran, blocking his attack.

“OH MY GOD!”

“THIS IS NOTHING LIKE LAST TIME”

He slid back with a smirk and their blades collided again. False started running. Tommy loaded a crossbow and advanced, quickly dashing behind her and shooting her back. False hit the ground hard, but held up as she kicked forward and got back on her feet.

“YES! GO FALSE!”

“COME ON TOMMY, DONT TAKE THAT”

“TAKE HER DOWN!”

They ran together, Tommy swung, she dodged, she swung, he jumped out of the way. False blocked an incoming sword swing, but was shocked when she was jerked forward after a fish hook implanted itself in her shirt.

“WHAT??”

“WAIT WHAT”

He cried out, laughing the loudest he had in a long time, as he pulled False towards him with a fishing rod. He pinned her to the ground with his sword pointed to her neck. His grin spanned ear to ear.

“TOMMY!!! WOO LETS GOO!”

“THAT WAS AMAZING HOLY SHIT”

An uproar was heard, people were standing up and others stared in amazement. They totally forgot that was allowed, it seemed. False didn’t really think to use the fishing rod, she didn’t think Tommy would bother to either. But, Etho insisted on it anyway just in case. Same with the crossbow.

False raised a hand, accepting defeat. Tommy helped her up this time, his sweaty palm and bony fingers holding her hand that had knuckles white from her death grip on her sword. Impulse helped Cleo to pass them towels. The break started, and the two returned to their corners once again.

“TOMMY WINS ROUND 2 (2)!”

Tommy popped the cap off his water bottle and chugged it, gasping for breath. He had no idea how tired he was until now. His bones ached and his body screamed to stop, but he payed it no mind once again. He used the towel to wipe the sweat from his forehead. Cleo rubbed a healing potion onto his wounds. “You’re doing amazing, that fishing rod trick was awesome.”

“Thanks, Dream taught me it after I saw him use it in a manhunt.”

He stood back up, babbling on about how ‘all the women are going to be cheering me on when I win.’ False rolled her eyes “focus, Tommy. Women can wait.”

“WOMEN ARE IMPORTANT. I WOULD KNOW, IM A LESBIAN. WAIT, NO-“

“FINAL ROUND!!! THIS IS THE FINAL ROUND!”

Grian and Mumbo sat next to one another, the smaller of the two standing up with his hands on the rail in front of him as he cheered. He wanted to cheer for both, but he supposed for the sake of competition he had to pick a side, and decided he would support his newest friend Tommy. “LETS GOO! COME ON,, WOO!! GO TOMMY!!”

“READY!!”

“Tommy, I want you to know, no hard feelings, okay?” False looked at him. It wasn’t with pity, but friendship. Tommy nodded. “No matter what happens, it stays here.”

“STEADY!!!”

“It stays in the pit.” The moustached man mumbled, arms crossed and watching the two with peaked interest.

“What?” Grian questioned, sending a puzzled glance to the other hermit.

“It stays in the pit. Techno said it to me as a joke, he said it was something his friends said when he and Tommy duelled.” He explained, not taking his eyes off the boxing ring in the centre of the practically stadium-sized room.

“Oh..” Grian thought for a moment, before a smile formed on his face once again.

“SET!!!”

“IT STAYS IN THE PIT, TOMMY!!” He cheered, putting his fist in the air. He tried his hardest to make his voice heard, despite sitting a little ways away.

“What?” Tommy’s voice was small, and his eyes widened. His whole being stood still. Who was that? They didn’t..they didn’t just say..?

“IT STAYS IN THE PIT!!”

His eyes darted around the room, and suddenly the underground room seemed a lot smaller.

Tommy had never considered it a ‘pit.’ To him, it was a just a boxing ring that was below ground level slightly. It had no significance. He didn’t care what it was, he was just happy to have somewhere to fight.

But after hearing that, suddenly he was back in that dammed pit with his damned brother and his damned friends watching him

But after hearing that, suddenly False was no longer across from him

It was Technoblade

“GO GO GO!!!”

His iron sword dropped to the ground. “You killed Tubbo.” A look False had never seen before came across Tommy, and she didn’t know what to think. This wasn’t right.

All he could feel was pure rage. It fuelled his actions. The teen basically flew towards False at full speed. “What-“

“YOU KILLED TUBBO!” She was cut off as Tommy pinned her to the floor, “Tommy stop-“

“SHUT UP!” He spat violently, seeing nothing but red. His skinny hands clenched into fists as he threw punch after punch into her face.

“TOMMY!”

“HEY WHAT THE FUCK, GET HIM OFF”

“GET HIM OUT OF THE RING!” Scar ordered, his voice booming out over the crowds shocked gasps

“YOU BETRAYED POGTOPIA” He shouted, his voice loud and rough. This wasn’t Tommy. His eyes were cold and piercing, his face was flushed “YOU CALLED SCHLATT PRESIDENT, YOU SICK FUCK. YOU BETRAYED US!!” Big, salty tears ran down his cheeks as False’s wrists that attempted to block the punches were twisted. She screeched out in pain.

“ILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!” Tommy knuckles bled, but he didn’t care. He wouldn’t stop, he couldn’t stop. All he ever wanted that day was to kill Technoblade. Techno had killed his best friend, and betrayed his own family. He deserved to die. “YOU BETRAYED ME AND WILBUR. I WANT TO KILL YOU!!”

Tommy’s arms were restrained by Etho and Doc. “LET ME GO, LET ME GO!” He trashed and kicked, blinded by anger and hurt. They exchanged horrified glances, and tried to calm him down. Nothing worked.

False was crying. Her eyes were already swelling up and she was just in the purest form of pain. Some hermits comforted her, while others dragged Tommy out of the ring and away from whatever the fuck just happened.

“TOMMY WHAT THE FUCK” he was screamed at by a couple people, while being shaken by the ones that could tell this wasn’t what it seemed.

“Stop it! Stop you’re making it worse! Let me through” Impulse pushed his way through the crowd, eyes widening as he saw the young boy snarling and pulling to get out of the two men’s grips. Tommy looked feral. “Stop crowding him!”

He knelt down and gently shook the other.

“Tommy, you’re in Hermitcraft. Okay? Grian’s here, Impulse is here, False is here. Technoblade is gone. Tubbo is okay. You’re safe, you’re in Hermitcraft.” He sighed with relief as Tommy came to, the anger in his eyes being replaced with tiredness and confusion.

“Wha..” Tommy went to grab his head, only to find his arms restrained. He panicked, “NO DREAM IM SORRY-“

“Calm down! Tommy you’re safe, you are restrained by Doc and Etho right now, okay? You tried to kill False.” Impulse explained

“I what?!” Tommy gasped, still trying to wiggle his way out. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Why would he ever want to kill False?! Last thing he could remember is that he was sparring, then someone shouted something about..

“..the pit.” His voice went quiet. Impulse nodded in understanding. “Technoblade”

“..yeah.” Tommy thought about what happened. He thought False was his brother. He..he tried to hurt False.

.

Back in the audience, Grian sat completely still, staring in shock. Mumbo had a hand clamped over his mouth. The smaller looked to his friend, scared. “Mumbo, Did..did Techno tell you why he duelled Tommy?” He shook his head

“No..but he said Tommy wasn’t happy Techno won. I thought he meant the dude was a sore loser..”

Grian and Tommy exhale in sync, their hearts beating fast and hard, trying to process everything.

“What the fuck did I just do”

—————

This has like,, 2 700 words kill meeee

Well I hope you enjoyed that, I accidentally hyperfixated on the idea of Tommy getting pit flashbacks after reading an ask about it so now it’s 3AM! I got this done in 2 hours!

Should I upload these to Ao3??? Let me know!