#im sorry for venting but I have nowhere to scream | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mxvladdy · 3 years

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heyy i just read your fic Case of the Munchies on ao3 and im Loving it!!!! its amazing!! i was wonder if youre accepting requests and if you haven’t done it could you write the same for the rest: mammon, levi, satan, belphi, dia, barbatos and smth for simeon and luke (ofc platonic) like how angles have a true form and that means they can never relax around mc and how solomon has so much power at his fingertips he can just snap and end them or smth like that? pretty please and thank you!!!!

A/N: Of Course! Of Course! I already did Mammon and Levi HERE so I’ll do the other four in this request! You sent me a lot of good ideas and I’ll sprinkle them out into other requests soon!

Hope you like it!!

Case of the Munchies prt 3!

Word Count: 4.2k

Characters: Satan, Belphie, Diavolo, Barbatos

TW: Mentions of eating and cook humans, very mild gore

Satan

As the only full-blooded demon of the seven, he has thought about it...just hypothetically of course. When you were new to the Devildom he did find your scent more appetizing than the others. It’s a good thing he has the most restraint and control of all his kin, especially when it comes to his more base urges.

He doesn’t hide this knowledge from you. It’s readily available in the library and his own room in the history books. He just won’t bring it up. So if you don’t say anything, he won’t either. What would he say anyway? “Yes, I’ve thought about it, up until it was outlawed it was a staple of our diet after all…” Ye, probably not the best thing to say.

When you finally brought it up he was exasperated. Did you have to bring it up during the few hours he had alone with himself? He wasn’t going to lie but the thought of hurting your feelings would just about do him in.

He will alleviate your worries if you have any. If Satan was anything, he was genuine.

Mini Fic

His wine curdles in his stomach, turning sour along with the take-out he had nabbed for the two of you to enjoy tonight. Drinks and dinner were becoming a staple in your T.V. night tradition. If one of you had had a rough day you would drop by your favorite shop of the hour and pick up a meal to share while you vent.

Today in particular had been a shit day for him. Failed experiment after failed experiment, and one bottle that didn’t explode on impact with the potion he dropped. Sigh. At least your comforting words soothed his wounded pride a little. You chuckle at his escapades glad to see he is not hurt at least. It was nice to have someone to see the humor in something that normally would have dampened his mood.

“You’re a pest.” He laughs at you while snapping his takeout chopsticks in half to use. “I need sympathy-hours of work wasted.” You snort into your own bowl of udon.

“You need words of praise like Beel needs another stomach.” Satan gasps in mock insult pointing a sauce stained chopstick at you.

“How dare you insult your host! After I toiled over this meal of-” What did he get exactly? Honestly, when he placed the order he was near boiling with rage at his careless fumble. It was to be a surprise for you, something to give you a bit of magic while supervised by himself. He knew how frustrated you were with your lack of magical ability in class so he wanted to gift you something grand. Now he has to wait months to try again.

Ah, well...nothing ventured nothing gained as they say.

You watch him sulk over his soup dumplings, his mile away from the comfort of your company and his room. “Come on blondie.” You poke him with your foot before burying them under his pajama-clad thighs on the couch. “Eat your ‘hard earned’ meal before I do.” You snatch up his D.D.D forgetting your own food for a moment to set up your favorite streaming service to cast to his small T.V. “Want to watch a bunch of humans fail miserably at baking?”

"I thought you would never ask."

Satan feels you stiffen in his arms two hours into your bake-off marathon. Your takeout boxes are cold and forgotten on his coffee table, a bottle of wine gone between the two of you. He glances down at you curious.

You were transfixed on the screen. The novice baker on screen was struggling to keep his monstrosity of a cake upright. It was the annual Halloween episode and this fool went for a Silence of the Lambs inspired cake. A good concept really, but very poorly executed. The fake body parts and sugar blood weighted the pastry down dangerously. If he were, to be frank, the cake was also tacky as hell. Heh, he'd have to try to make this for Lucifer.

"Does his abuse of the piping gun offend you that much?" He jokes wrapping an arm around you.

Your laugh is breathy and lacks its usual warmth. "It is excessive isn't it?" You look up at him. "Hey, Satan-have you ever eaten people before?"

"Uhh…" Great, how eloquent. This came out of nowhere, did Lucifer set you up to this? No-no you wouldn’t. Would you hate him if you knew? “I have.” He admits through clenched teeth waiting for your reaction.

“Didn’t Diavolo ban it?” He can tell you are doing the mental math in your head.

He chuckles dryly. “Well, you never asked if I did it legally.” You move away from his touch and pause the show. “I mean...I did it legally! ” His mouth runs freely, his brain screaming at him to shut up.

“Satan.” You cross your arms unimpressed.

“It was a new law and I never meant to eat it for the most part. It was at a time where I was still struggling to control myself.” Young and stupid as Lucifer had said defending him every step of the way when he would slip up. Was it sold on the black market now? Yes. Did he know how to get it? Sure, but he would never nor would he tell you about it either.

You nod thinking about his words. “I can empathize.” Oh, thank the Devil. “Have you thought of eating me?”Ahhh. “Oh my God, you have.” You chuck a pillow at him with a laugh.

He catches the pillow and clutches it to his fiery hot face. “Everyone did at first!” If he was going down then he was going to take every one of his brothers down with him. “I wasn’t going to act on it! It was a spur of the moment-why are you laughing!”

“Sorry, sorry.” You wipe at the tears in your eyes wishing you had your phone to take a picture of his blushing face. “I kind of figured you did.”

Satan looks at you incredulously. “Shouldn’t you be a bit more torn up over this?”

You shrug. “After everything we’ve been through? I admit it was a shock to think at first but I mean, you would have done it by now right?”

“Well, thank you?” He flops back on the couch, still clutching the pillow to act as a barrier between you two. He’ll take it as a compliment.

You scoot close, nudging his knee with yours. “You ok?” He nods. “Can I touch you?” He nods again eagerly. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and squeeze. “Sorry, I made you uncomfortable.”

Satan chuckled, dropping the pillow to hug you back. “It’s ok.” He peaks your forehead. “Now, with that out of the way. Shall we finish this?” He swipes up his phone to hit play. You nod, flinging your legs over him to snuggle closer. “Good, I’m dying to know how he tries to save that thing. I’m putting money on icing.”

“You know.” You break the silence once more, unable to stop yourself. “I wouldn’t be opposed to being eaten...in some ways.”

Belphegor

After your first *ahem* encounter, he doesn’t bring up the whole food thing. He is afraid that if you learned about it, it would be the last strike for you and his relationship. Perhaps it’s paranoia on his part but better safe than sorry.

In all honesty, he didn’t eat it that much anyway. Killing humans was something he did often in his youth as a demon. A stupid attempt at revenge on his part. It filled the holes in his hearts to hurt those he believed killed his sister.

But to eat their flesh? Disgusting. He tried it a few times and it turned his stomach with every mouthful. He just hated them too much to even stomach them. He’s mellowed out with time but still never got a taste for it.

When you asked it was a shock but welcomed in a way. Like he could finally get this weight off his shoulders every time he looked at you.

Mini Fic

“It’s gross.” Belphie yawns, jumping up to sit on the high garden wall. He bends down to help you up placing you gently next to himself. The wind catches you by surprise threatening to topple you back from the wall before he rights you. He tosses his sweater over you with a nod of satisfaction.

You snuggle into the fleece lining burying your nose into the fabric. It smelled of elderberries and honeysuckles. Belphie watches you curl up into his side with a fond smile. “Seriously, you all are nasty.”

“Ouch!” You push his shoulder with a grin. “I feel like I should be offended on behalf of all humans.”

Belphie snorts, looking up into the bright colors of the night sky. “Good. Be offended. You, humans, are slimy.” You squawk indignantly. “It’s true, never in all my years would I willingly ingest it.” He shudders theatrically.

“Rude.”

“Shouldn’t you be happy? Lest I eat you?” He growls playfully, taking a swipe at you. He pulls you close to kiss the pout off your face. He stops only when your face is hot and your smile threatens to pull a muscle. “I’ll keep you safe, always.” He vows resting his chin on your head.

“Do you think other demons would try to eat me?”

“Have you met my twin?” He teases. He takes your jab to his ribs with a smile. “But if one of those lesser demons even tries to breathe in your direction I’ll kill them.”

“Ok, Mister sleeps till dinner.” You joke. His vow warms your heart a little, chasing away the small bit of fear that had rested itself in your chest. You saw how some demons looked at you at R.A.D, the longing and hungry looks got to be a bit much sometimes. A few older demons would discuss it loudly when they knew you were close by. Apparently, it was a long standing tradition of demons eating humans both body and soul when a pact was concluded.

Imagine what those brothers would do to them…

You shake your head hugging Belphie closer. You had nothing but his word that he would keep you safe, yet that was enough for you. Besides, he wasn’t one to follow the rules even at the best of times.

“I’m serious. You're off limits for everyone.”

You nod into his shirt, closing your eyes to enjoy the peace of the moment. “I’ll hold you to it.”

Diavolo

It is so far from his mind that when you say something it is like a rug was taken out from under him. He could be diplomatic about it, but you deserve better than a half-truth.

He was a wild child in his youth. Sometimes he would overindulge in his father’s heritage and gorge himself on his newfound powers and privilege. He would dine with the elders and eat with abandon under their proud eyes.

He regrets it now, in your company it brings up a slurry of emotions. Sometimes when he looks at you he sees flashes of his past behavior.

The urge is stronger in him than the brothers, a constant nagging tug in his guts, but he is strong. Stronger both in willpower and sheer physical prowess than them so the pull is more of an annoyance than a burning need. He can temper the hunger in other ways if need be *wink*

He fears what you might think of him if you ever found out the truth, but however you take it he will handle it in stride. He loves you too much not to.

Mini Fic

Dinners, when Diavolo could eat alone, were a rare and special treat. The solace of just being allowed to exist without constantly checking his posture or presentation was a blessing, just him, his thoughts, and a good meal. It was nice to have no paperwork to worry about staining this time or a tedious meeting where he couldn’t savor his meal. No, no this was good. He looks down at his heavily laden plate and smiles. Well, almost… Pulling out his phone he snaps a quick picture and sends it to you with a simple question. Join me?

Private meals were wonderful, but with you, they were perfect.

You arrive faster than he expected, flushed face and clutching a stitch in your side from rushing over. He almost felt bad before he saw the eager look in your eyes. Barbatos helps you with your school bags and coat before placing another plate of food across from the young lord. He winks at the prince before disappearing back through the door.

“Thank you for the invite!” You beam taking your seat across from him. “I hope you don’t mind that I'm not dressed for the occasion. I was just wrapping up a study session with the boys.” You look down at your rumpled lounge clothes.

Diavolo waved his hand disregarding your concerns. “I would emulate you if I had the time.” He looks at his own pressed school uniform. He had another meeting this evening, much to his distaste. “You look rather comfortable.” You smile in delight before tucking into your own plate.

You eat in a comfortable silence reading the room well enough to tell that he wished for some company but not needless chitter-chatter. Barbatos arrived moments after you put your fork down and left with the plate leaving behind a delicious smelling hot drink. You couldn’t put your finger on the flavor but it tastes spicy like cinnamon and coats your throat like warm honey.

Whatever was in the drink seemed to work some magic on the prince. His shoulder droop, his back sinking into the chair as his legs stretch out till they are close to brushing against yours. He starts talking over the drink, eyes slowly lighting up with delight. You drink, nodding along with him as he builds up steam. It was nice to see him so unguarded and light. You listen to him talk about simple innocent topics. You knew how he tried to have these conversations with the others to no avail. The brother’s always tried to stay clear of him, and Lucifer simply dismissed these things most days. Barbatos and the angels were a bit better but still listened mostly to placate him.

“Ah!” Diavolo stops mid-sentence as his door opens once more Barbatos holding a small platter in his gloved hand. Dia claps his hands in delight. “I’ve been wanting to have you try this with me for forever. The human palate is so different, but I hope this is tasty.”

“What is it?” You eye the covered plate curiously.

Dia says a word in infernal. It is harsh and guttural in his throat but his delight was evident in his tone. “It is like...a roasted nut? Sorry, it is difficult to explain but it has been a favorite treat of mine since I was a boy. I hope you like it too.” He opens the lid with little ceremony and tilts the bowl to you. Inside were several golfball sized pods piled on top of each other. Even from across the table you could feel the molten heat radiating from the porous black shell. It looked...ugly. Like a hunk of dried lava. You eye it suspiciously as Diavolo picks one up with his bare hands and bits it. The shell cracks under his sharp teeth, a fang catching in a weak spot with a noise that makes you shiver. Underneath the thick casing, you could see a dark red and fleshy core. He hums in delight pulling put the meat of the seed and discard the shell pieces onto an empty plate. He makes quick work of the innards already reaching for another by the time you casually pick up a seed.

The seed itself was dense and warm to the touch. You squeeze it, noting that the porous coating felt like a mass of steel in your hand. “Dia-how do I open it?” No way you could bite it, not without breaking your jaw in the process.

“Allow me.” He takes it from you and effortlessly cracks it. “It is a tradition to break them with teeth, instead of hands or utensils. Something about a show of strength. I just find it fun.” He shrugs, handing you the broken seed.

“Fun!” You marvel at his pearly fangs. “Those are some big chompers.”

“All the better to eat you with my dear.” He chuckles.

You blink in shock, eyes widening. “Would you? Eat me?”

Diavolo’s smile drops. “No.” He lies on reflex, his political nature kicking in. “No-no wait.” He shakes his head. “I...at a time would have without hesitation.” He feels you recoil. “It was common practice back in the day. To the common demon it was a great meal and for the ruling class a show. He looks down at the broken fragments of shell on his plate. Breaking the shell was far too reminiscent of other things. He squashes the unwanted wave of memories coming up. Instead, he looks up at you.

You sit quietly mulling over his words. You haven’t run yet. “Why did you stop?”

He leans back with a loud exhale. Why did he stop? There were many reasons, none he wished to divulge into at the moment, but he had to say something. “I grew up, and began to resent and regret it.” He used to read human stories of demons and his kind. They hurt their characterizations of him and his people. Yet, they had all been scarily accurate. He wanted to prove that they weren’t stagnating beasts, slaves to their desires. Even if it wasn't a popular opinion.

“I see.” You pick up the seed again. “Thank you for telling me. You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to, and to apologize… such admissions must have ruined your appetite. If you wish to retire-”

“Is it weird if it didn’t?” You cut him off. You felt-not apathetic to the knowledge but close to it. It confirmed a lot of things for you and put certain things in perspective. You still felt safe with him even with this new bit of knowledge. Without a second thought, you pop the treat into your mouth. You gasp in delight. The flavor and texture were not what you were expecting, but was delicious all the same. “Can you open another for me?” You push your plate over to him.

“Of course!”

The food was as wonderful as his company.

Barbatos

You knew he cooked it. He probably knows a million different ways to prepare a human. He is also very blunt about his dabblings in the market.

He doesn’t eat it, hasn’t ever. He sees no reason to, especially since he doesn’t need to eat anyway there is no temptation. He did find the meals he created beautiful though.

Once he lived for the praises of the courts and his young lord. He was a master at all mediums he cared to work with. Time, decorum, or of the flesh.

He is 100% unashamed of his past with the dark side of the Devildom’s history. In fact, he is damn near proud of it. He is a demon and it was a part of his life, if that frightens you, well there is nothing he can do about it.

He’ll entertain your questions and will try to put any lingering worries at ease. Just don’t expect to be coddled when he does.

Mini Fic

Barbatos had very few personal pleasures in his life. His schedule simply didn’t have the space for such things. So why even bother looking for a pastime. It wasn’t until Diavolo gifted him with an old worn cookbook did he find it.

Cooking was a necessity for his prince, but with that little book, it became something he looked forward to doing. Slowly, he began to seek them out, filling his growing quarters with cookbooks and loose-leaf slips of paper. He enjoys reading them. Each book was a little time capsule into the cook's life and memories. Could a mix of spices really remind someone of the arid heat of their motherland? Or does following a certain way of aging meat really honor the writer's late grandfather’s memory? He tries them all, each recipe a little invasion to a happier time.

He wrote his fair share of cookbooks too in his day. Simple modifications to things the young lord liked to the odd machinations of his own imagination. He got good at experimenting with flavors and textures over the years, mastering certain cooking techniques and flavors just for fun. He didn’t share many of them, a lot of his recipes were just too complicated for most. Luke was allowed to look at his pastry books only. The little cherub was enamored with his techniques and wanted to learn as much as he could in the short amount of time he was in the Devildom. Admirable, but he made sure to keep some of his...less savory books away from the boy. He shudders to think what Simeon would do if he scarred the young angel.

You are the only one who has full access to his collections. Whether you liked to cook was inconsequential to him. He simply enjoyed sharing this interest with you. Some nights you would take it upon yourself to be his “sous-chef”. Which meant you sat in the corner of the kitchen and read out the ingredients and steps for a recipe he knew by heart. Sometimes you would add in extra steps in an attempt to stump it. Cute...but ultimately failed each time. So, most nights when you tagged along to the kitchens you just flip through his collection, reading his immaculate scribblings crammed into the corners of the pages or where he scratched out certain ingredients for more demon-appropriate foods and more sustainable options.

You had gone through many beautiful books before you found it. The cookbook was small and inconspicuous compared to most. Just a simple black cover with a well-worn spine. What made you take notice of it was just how dusty it was. That wasn’t like him to do. Barbatos would never let something get so dirty. You wished you never had opened it. You weren’t stupid by any means, but after reading a few pretty graphic recipes it had unsettled you. So you withdrew from Barbatos trying to forget about the book tucked away deep in the bowels of your school bag.

“You’ve been distant.” You choke, hand flying up to your chest as you swear your heart skipped a beat. Damn demon. Should put a bell on him. “What’s wrong?” His eyes are piercing, cutting away at your feeble defenses.

“Nothing…” You fiddle with your bag’s strap. Your eyes drop to the floor taking in the differences between his polished shoes and your scuffed boots.

“Of course not…” You could hear the skepticism in his voice. “I trust that if there was something wrong you would feel safe enough to confide in me.” His words hit like a ton of bricks on your shoulders. He sighs seeing that his words got no reaction. “Please?”

Wordlessly you rummage in your bag and thrust the book into his chest. “Sorry. It shook me up more than I thought it would.”

Ah. He knew this book all too well. For a time it had been his favorite, one to pull out with Diavolo had guests or a deal that needed to be sealed. He accepts the book, noting how much your hands shook. “I understand.” He slips the book into his breast pocket making a mental note to hide it in one of his lesser used rooms. “Would you like to discuss this? In my room perhaps?” You follow with a timid nod.

“Where shall we begin?” Barbatos asks the moment he closes the door to his room.

“You don’t seem perturbed.” You frown. Barbatos shrugs, pulling the book out and opening it. He had a lot of good memories stored here. Some of these were still considered signature dishes, oftentimes a visiting dignitary would lament to him about the good old days when he could show off his craft when flesh was plentiful. He takes pride in that still to this day even. For as much as he loved you, he would not be ashamed of this.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” You shake your head when he says as much. “It just confused me. Do-do you see me as food?”

“I never saw humans as food, no more than I see demons or angels as it.” He picks at an imaginary bit of lent from his pant leg. “As for seeing you as food no. No matter how sweet your lips are, or how honeyed your words can be.” He smiles, taking impish delight in your squirming. “I merely did my job as a butler for my lord.”

“Oh- sorry for not coming to you sooner.” You felt foolish now. Barbatos waves it off, pleased to have this issue put aside so quickly and cleanly. “Wait-" You gasp as his words finally sink in. “Have you prepared angels before?”

He flashes you a mischievous smile putting a single finger up to his lips. “Perhaps~ do you wish to read that too?”

#obey me #om satan #om belphegor #om diavolo #om barbatos #fun request!

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arhvste · 4 years

Text

next stop iwa-chan!

“now i know we’re not dating, maybe soon by the way things go, we’ve been talking for ages, take it step by step slow it down we just need to be patient, if the love feels good and it’s real, it’ll all work out”

y/n panted as she ran up to iwaizumi and oikawa’s shared apartment. not bothering to want to wait any longer to see him, y/n opted to take the stairs not willing to wait for the elevator.

4 flights of stairs weren’t too unforgiving to the girl especially with the adrenaline running through her. nothing else mattered other than getting to iwaizumi.

after what felt like a whole expedition, y/n finally reached iwaizumi’s door and waited a moment to gather herself before knocking.

swiftly, the door swung open revealing a freshly showered (fuucckkkk he's so hot i’m so jealous of you 😔) iwaizumi with his dark hair damp and a few water droplets hanging at the ends of the short strands. his lean figure complimented by a white tank and black sweats, and oh his arms. the arms that had gotten y/n into the mess way back when. y/n knew iwaizumi looked good but to look this good after a casual shower? that should be illegal.

“y/n.” he spoke softly as he stepped out the doorway to let her in.

the girl smiled slightly and cautiously entered the sleek and modern apartment. the tension was thick but not in a overwhelming and heavy way. no negative feelings towards each other in the air, just anxiousness and concern for the conversation waiting to occur.

“let’s go sit yeah? your legs might give over by the time i’m done telling you everything i need to if i make us stand.” he joked slightly as they made their way over to the inviting couch.

“i’d rather you make my legs give over in another way rather than making me stand for too long.” y/n joked back earning a snicker from him.

this was good.

the mood was being lifted ever so slightly. y/n didn't want iwaizumi to feel obliged to vent to her in a completely serious atmosphere.

the two sat and iwaizumi anxiously began to play with his hands.

“so obviously you know what i’m going to tell you. just tell me if im going on too much yeah? i don't want you to feel like i’m just dumping this all on you to make you feel bad or anything like th-”

y/n grabbed iwaizumi’s hands into her smaller ones and gave them a light squeeze as she held them.

“tell me anything and everything you want and need to.”

he smiled and took a small breath before continuing.

“so, you know shitty- i mean oikawa. you know oikawa the boy who gave you my number at the train station. he’s been my best friend for as long as i can remember. the piece of shit was always getting himself into all types of trouble, he can be so reckless sometimes... but that’s why we work well together. i call him out on his behaviour and help him fix it and he keeps me grounded. it’s always been like that.”

iwaizumi stopped for a brief moment to look into y/n’s eyes. her only twinkling and gleaming with pure genuine and care.

“so when we got to highschool, he uh, started getting a lot of attention. from girls i mean. they flocked him everywhere we went, sometimes i even had to go out of my way to look for him when he was late to practices or lost out of our group. his fangirls were... irritating and shallow. none of them saw or wanted to get to know oikawa for who he was. believe it or not y/n, sometimes i hate to admit it but he's a good guy really. he just has a funny way of showing it sometimes so it’s not the clearest.”

the girl laughed slightly as she nodded for iwaizumi to continue.

“so the end of second year, oikawa had been dumped by his girlfriend because she said he was too absorbed with volleyball even though she knew what she was getting into from the second she asked to date him. oikawa was bothered by even more girls after they learned he was single again and that's when my uh... ex was introduced to me.”

the word “ex” didn't seem to sound nice coming from iwaizumi’s mouth. it was almost like he had to force himself to say it.

“she wasn’t a fan of oikawa’s, well a clear one anyway. i’d never seen her in the huge groups of screaming and shoving girls whenever we had matches or practice so i just assumed she wasn't interested in him. i met her in the halls one day and helped her carry some books from her locker to her class.”

y/n felt iwiazumi’s hands grip hers ever so slightly tighter. this relationship must've affected him more than y/n thought.

“after that we spoke more often and became good friends. she was different to oikawa i didn't have to babysit her or scold her. she was easy to be around.”

iwaizumi had to stop himself from ending that sentence with “like you”. y/n and his ex were not the same. y/n was easy to be with in a different way. a better way. it was unexplainable, but y/n really was something else and iwaizumi meant this when he said it.

“months later and she confessed. i accepted and things went from there. things were good for ages. i felt happy? yeah, i felt happy with her. things were great between us. for once in my life i didn't feel inferior. i know i don’t show it but sometimes it can get a little... much? being stood next to the school’s idol your whole life will give you the automatic label of second best.”

he laughed at this slightly. a choked out laugh.

fuck he was already having to hold himself back from allowing the flood of emotions to break through the mental dam he’d built up over the years.

“we dated for over a year. i loved her. i really did... it just- it just wasn't reciprocated apparently.”

y/n leaned forward to caress the struggling ex ace’s face as he scrunched his face slightly to stop himself from breaking down. iwaizumi wasn't a man of too much emotion. his manly persona had led others to believe he was incapable of feeling hurt and iwaizumi just fed into this expectation not expecting anyone to call him out on it.

“she- no, i came out of practice and she was pressed up against oikawa’s locker with another boy from her class. i-... i didn't hear much of their conversation just bits. she said something along the lines of ‘if i can’t have oikawa the next best thing is to be done against his locker.’ fuck, i didn't even feel like second place.”

tears were now gathering in his eyes as he turned to look away for y/n who only looked at him with sympathy. wasting no time, y/n pulled iwaizumi’s head into the crook of her neck as she let him vent out all the pent up emotions that had been building up for months on top of months. she ran her fingers through his dark hair not caring that it was still damp as she drew circles on his tense back muscles to calm him down.

“take your time. i have all the time in the world for you.”

iwaizumi sighed after a few more minutes of quietly crying.

“s-sorry i just- everything became too much. i’m being stupid aren't i? getting upset over not even being second best to oikawa but his locker instead.”

“haijime.”

the boy’s head snapped up to meet y/n’s challenging gaze.

“you are anything but stupid. you have every right to be upset. i can’t even begin to try and understand what you went through. don’t you dare hold back, let everything out i want you to feel okay after all this and even if you don't, i at least still want you to get it all out your system.”

iwaizumi nodded before continuing.

“after that i broke up with her. she said that she was only dating me to try and get close to oikawa but that had gotten her nowhere apparently. she had been seeing that other boy for t-three months before our relationship ended. i should've seen it coming i feel so idiotic for not noticing sooner.”

“what did oikawa say when he heard about this?”

“he was livid. even i didn't feel like i could stand against him, then again i never really could in some sort of sense anyway.” he laughed dryly as y/n frowned.

“stop that.”

“stop what?”

“calling yourself second best, putting yourself as second best. you’re not second best and you never will be. fuck haijime, you know you’re the only one who’s ever managed to occupy my mind so effortlessly. since you, there’s been nobody else on my mind so i’m hurting knowing that you think you’re anyones inferior because for what it’s worth you’re not and never will be mine. you are your own person and you’re the person i’m so so helplessly in love with. everything about you. absolutely everything. you’re my person so please stop thinking you’re second place because nobody with a sane mind thinks that.”

iwaizumi was left speechless. he looked into y/n’s eyes and as always, nothing but sincerity shone in them. oikawa had been the one to indirectly end his relationship but something in iwaizumi’s mind told him that the universe had also allowed oikawa to bless him with something better. a chance for a better relationship with a girl he could openly and genuinely allow himself to fall in love with. oikawa tooru had given him the chance to be with y/n and there was no way in hell he was going to pass up what the universe had offered him.

“y/n. thank you.”

the girl smiled as she raked her fingers through his hair and laced one of her hands into one of his own.

“don't thank me. this isn't something you should need to be told.”

“no, thank you for not ignoring oikawa’s antics. thank you for giving in and texting me. thank you for not complaining when i dragged you all the way to miyagi at 12am. thank you for giving me a look into domestic life with you. thank you for letting me into your life. thank you for letting me fall in love with you. thank you for falling in love with me. just- thank you y/n. im stupidly in love with you and i want to make sure i do things right with you.”

now it was y/n who was rendered speechless as tears of her own pricked into the corners of her eyes.

“you idiot.” she huffed as she pulled herself into his chest.

“your idiot.”

“my idiot.”

the two stayed like that a little longer. relishing in the now lifted tension. iwaizumi felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulder and y/n felt nothing but relief that he’d finally managed to let go.

he was still healing, that much was obvious and both of them knew he wasn't ready for a title yet.

the two were ridiculously in love.

and for now that was enough.

‘just a little longer y/n i promise.’

next stop iwa-chan!

iwaizumi haijime x reader

masterlist

an - after oikawa found out about what had happened with iwaizumi he tried to convince his older sister to cyber bully iwaizumi’s ex (she said no so he told his fangirls to give her dirty looks in the halls instead fuevdhs)

akaashi’s playgroup || two pretty setters and co

part 24 - im telling her

part 25 - my person

part 26 - labels

PLEASE SEND AN ASK TO BE ADDED TO TAGLIST

taglist : @crushingonsuga @bloody-bella @totorosleaff @kageyamasbabygorl @cuddlyroger @hidden-otaku-stuff @vanilla-beanzz @macchiatoast @kac-chowsballs @anime-read-write-repeat @missalienqueen @bbkiyoomi @toaster-stick @nerdynstoned @otaku-fangirlse @the-third-wall @nekomateammanager @bokutoichigo @killlerqween @queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm @doggonudez @iwaizluv @angrylittlezizi @softmultistan @lifesciencesbois @itsmattsunshinehere @haikyus1mp @bringmelily @valrubiii @saturnfarie @oyaoyaoya-chan @ack-aashi @weebymaria @introvertatitsfinest @rd-crew @strawberryyymiaa @a-fucking-simp @chokomoko @iwachanswh0re @maybesoph @leviathans-watching @loser-keiji @yandearie @scrappydaisies @caramel-chuuya @miracleboylyss @hellothankmas @makkihoe @firebonbon @kokogxddess @kaiagiorgi @softmatcha @peteunderoos

#iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi smau #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu smau #next stop iwa chan

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septic-skele · 3 years

Text

UT - Sooner Than Someday

Summary: Overwhelmed in the haze of a fever, Sans vents to his father about the secrets he keeps. The problem is that it isn't actually Gaster in the room, just a brother who looks very much like him.

A/N: Based on the idea that Sans has told Papyrus about resets before, but it never manages to change his Genocide fate and in the end, Papyrus forgets.

The face of his father was swimming over him, mouth moving in sounds and syllables that barely translated, and Sans had to strain to keep him in sight. His eye sockets felt like they were melting to the back of his skull, vision wavering to a blur, but whenever he considered dipping into the haze of blackness, Dad shouted.

Too good at shouting, he and Papyrus. It came naturally to them as upper-casers; they didn’t even seem to notice their own noise. Right now Sans’ head was already crowded with so much thunder; he couldn’t stand one cacophony bouncing off of another. He had always hated raising his own voice but he wished now—He wanted the strength to scream back at him.

Do something! Help me, fix me, just make it stop, please!

As it was, all he could do was fling out desperate hands, hoping some kind of relief would be in his reach. A fistful of Dad’s shirt was only a distant flicker on his radar beyond the fire trapped in his bones. This fever felt like thousands, millions of white-hot pokers piercing as one. Every shudder of pain urged them on, stoking faster than damp cloths could counter.

There was nowhere he could twist or turn to escape; he couldn’t pry free of his own body. The throbbing heat in his ribs was too full. He couldn’t breathe.

Internal combustion of a magical fuel occurs with an oxidizer in a combustion chamber that is an integral part of the working fluid flow…

The end was already in sight: give it just a little more time to accelerate and his soul was going to explode. A guttural laugh, bordering on a wheeze, burst from his parched throat. A much cooler, hotter way to die than a knife to the chest; his own body would rather suicide-bomb than give that dirty kid the satisfaction. Could he call that a blaze of glory? A blaze of…copping out before the difficult part?

He had to let Dad know beforehand, he realized with a sharper, glass-like clarity. He’d pay attention. He’d want to put the damp cloth down and take notes.

Whatever intelligible sentence he managed to string together, it did make Dad falter for a minute or two—but where Sans had anticipated him shifting to grab a pen and paper, he made a different move.

When cool palms cupped his cheekbones, Sans flinched, staring with bleary confusion into familiar eyelights glowing gold and violet.

“—brother—know what—Papyrus—”

Confusion buckled and gave way to alarm as he jerked his head back against the pillows, almost wrenching free. A gasp caught roughly in his throat, forming a cough in its wake. No. No, he wouldn’t. He hadn’t.

I didn’t tell him, honest. In this timeline, at least, he’d swear to that. I didn’t tell Pap anything.

________________________________

“Brother,” Papyrus pleaded again, thumbing beads of sweat from Sans’ cheekbones. “I don’t know what you will understand in this state but I am right here for you! It’s Papyrus.”

He had hoped his presence would have a reassuring effect, but judging by the delirious panic that took over Sans’ face, it was a lost cause.

“I din’ tell him,” he whispered hoarsely, shaking his head. “Din’ tell ’im anything.”

“And that’s precisely why we’re in this predicament now!” Papyrus snapped, taking up the cold compress again in one hand. “If you had only told me sooner that you were burning up, I could have done something to prevent this!” But of course, he never tells me. I should have noticed.

Sans only seemed to register the frustration, not the worry. Cringing, he lowered his voice to a croak. “I can’t do it. Can’t get him caught up in all this, he’s too—he’s too—”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I’ve been ‘caught up’ in all of your trouble since I was old enough to walk and frankly, I think I’ve coped with it better than you have!”

“I’ve tried it before.”

Papyrus couldn’t help but stiffen at the sudden, keen edge of brokenness in Sans’ voice then. His brother hiccupped, a pitiful attempt at a laugh as he faltered on.

“I’ve tried an’ it jus’ never works. Never does anything t’help. I talk to him an’ he hears me but he doesn’t listen.” His sockets welled. He was trembling from more than the fever now. “He jus’ can’t let it go, he keeps coming back an’ being so good an’ it—it never makes anything right. I can’t do that t’him! Jus’ be so selfish of me, jus’ make him hurt like I always do an’ it wouldn’t change a thing!”

The tears ran free of his control, streaking through the sweat to dampen the sheets under his chin. Sans had never wept so openly; the sight was almost a shock to Papyrus’ system. For a minute he sat frozen, cold cloth loose in his fingers. In what seemed like shame, Sans turned to hide his face against it, muffling a pained moan.

“I din’ tell him…Won’t try again, I swear…”

“Sans.” Swallowing against a sudden knot in his throat, Papyrus moved his free hand over the crown of his brother’s skull—a familiar gesture, one Sans had offered him so many times when he was young and frightened. “Nothing you say or do will make me—will make Papyrus love you any less. He’s better than that. He’s greater than that. He wants you to know you can trust him. He wants that more than anything! And if you have before, if you’ve tried and he hasn’t listened properly…I know that he’s sorry. He would want to try again. Whatever burdens you’re carrying, it isn’t selfish of you to share. That’s…That’s what family is for, to make everything a little lighter.”

Sans’ jaw clenched, a shuddering breath hissing through his teeth.

“All Papyrus wants is to help you, to see you better and happier. Please, give him another chance, won’t you? Someday?”

After what felt like an eternity, a fainter sigh, weighed down with grieved defeat. “Maybe…someday…”

It wasn’t a promise, but it was all Papyrus had. Now to pray that someday came sooner than he’d think.

#undertale #fanfiction #sans #sans undertale #papyrus #papyrus undertale #w d gaster #(gaster isn't actually there he's just imagined to be)#sickfic #whump #angst #sans remembers resets #hurt comfort

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binunus · 4 years

Text

college bf!mj

a/n AH !!!! THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE ASTRO COMEBACK ???? APRIL 5TH ??? WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE LOVES !! i genuinely...do not know if I will be able to survive this month bc of them.

(also i tried to get this posted on mj’s birthday but I’m so sorry a lot of shit happened and I had a ~bad mental breakdown~ and it’s just been rough out here but that’s a story for another time if any of you lovely beings wanna know hehe)

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ tw: mentions of cheating (in past relationships)

→ word count: 4.9k ____________________________________

KIM MYUNGJUN !!

A LIVING REINCARNATION OF THE SUN

this is gonna be so cute i just !! love him so much???

has his own apartment, but he honestly stays over all of the boys’ places so much that...he barely sleeps at his apt

major: vocal performance

his voice is literally honey

can probably sing higher than some sopranos in his major

so friendly, everyone who meets him loves him

mj just has a way of attracting people and making people comfortable around him

in short, he is – of course – the moodmaker

can turn anyone’s frown upside down

he’s down?? for like everything

an adventurous spontaneous type

has...probably failed a ged ed class once or twice before...

he’s not stupid okay! he just doesn’t really care about the classes that has no connection to his major

like will he ever apply calculus in singing? probably not

oh but professors can’t hate him, even if he just messes around during class

he’s just so kind and likeable

loves his boys aka astro

will literally do anything to make them smile, even if he’s had a rough day

as long as his boys are happy :’) he’s happy :’)

now how do you meet myungjun??

he’s in an acapella group on campus

he just has to be alright

he was the only freshman that got in during his first year

that shows how good he is :*

a tenor in the highly competitive co-ed group

spoiler alert, he convinces sanha to join, but that’s for college bf!sanha

myungjun is what me and my friends like to call: the solo whore

and it’s not bc he’s greedy for solos, he’s a real team player

his voice just happens to sound the best for most solos your group has??

you’re also in the acapella group

im not giving a voice part bc then that would put you in a binary category

so soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, bass, you pick love

anyway, you and myungjun were chosen to sing a duet for one of your competition pieces

and it was the key emotional piece so you and him had to be on your A games

you and myungjun were friends ofc, you had to be some sort of friends with everyone in your acapella group

but you never really hung out with him outside of rehearsal

well until you got this duet together

and you weren’t worried about it, mj was so fun and nice and an amazing singer, you had no doubt these extra practices with him would be a good time

and you were right! besides singing, you actually got a chance to get to know him and how goofy he really was

you’re pretty sure you always had an ab workout whenever you hung out with him bc of how much he made you laugh

about a month away from competition, you and myungjun were like best buds

literally a chaotic, iconic duo

the chemistry you two had during your duet was spectacular, your voices highlighted and bounced off each other very well

but! your leader had a little critique

“y/n, myungjun, that was great but...can you guys pretend to look...like in love? I get we’re all friends here, but if you can’t convey the emotion of the song in our performance, what’s the point? This goes for everyone, this is a song about how much you love your partner and would give them the world, we need to show that in our eyes and movements, even if you’re just singing ooh and woah for like 10 measures.”

you and myungjun decide to stay after rehearsal and practice the emotions you guess...

your leader had a point, good singing could only go so far

and for the first time, myunjun was a bit...? awkward??

you: alright so how are we gonna pretend to be madly in love with each other

he chuckles and shrugs: honestly I don’t know, look at me like I’m your boyfriend or something??

you: well, I hate my last boyfriend so that probably wouldn’t be a good idea

myungjun offering you a high-five: I hate...well I think I hate...my last partner too so at least we have that

you: how do you think you hate your last partner? are you not dating anyone right now?

he gives you a smile and like you notice it’s forced?? it’s not genuine or bright like the one he usually gives

mj: no I’m not dating anyone...my last relationship sorta traumatized me I guess.

you: ...how did it traumatize you...? you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to myungjun

mj: ah *awkward laughter* well...I was sorta going through it my senior year of high school, stress from graduating and what to do with my life and all that shit, you know? I dated this person since my freshman year and I guess my mental health got the best of me during that time and they couldn’t handle it. We were planning on staying together throughout college and do long distance but I found out in the summer before starting college that they fucked my high school best friend behind my back...when I confronted them about it, the answer they gave me was that I was too down and preoccupied with my worries to notice about my partner’s needs...pretty fucked up right?

your jaw dropped, your eyes were bulging out at his story

you: myungjun what the fuck??? what college do they go to? I’ll pull up right now and beat their asses, I don’t know scream in their face or something! That’s fucked!

he’s laughing a little: thanks y/n, but it’s alright. You know, maybe I was too caught up in my own problems that I ended up neglecting my partner’s needs...I guess that’s why I’m always just trying to be carefree and fun now.

you: that doesn’t justify the fact that what they did to you was wrong. you should have never gone through that myungjun, it’s not your fault that you were going through it mentally, your partner should have been there to support you and understand your struggles, not cheat on you with your best friend. ugh I’m pissed for you.

mj: I appreciate it y/n, but yeah love’s sorta a hard subject for me.

you nod in understanding

mj: well! that’s my traumatic breakup story, it’s only fair you share yours

you laugh: you’re right. Well I was dating this guy right when I entered college, met him at the freshman orientation, completely hit it off. I was so in love with him, we dated for about a year. And then last semester he broke up with me out of nowhere, said he wanted to focus on school and himself and that he needed a break from dating. I found out two days later that he started dating one of his suite mates and that on the night he broke up with me, they fucked. So love? also something hard for me.

mj: aww look at us both unable to find or relate to love because of past relationship traumas.

you hit his shoulder laughing: you’re such a headass

mj: I’m kidding! anyway, I’m sorry you went through that too y/n. it sucks and your ex is a dumbass for breaking up with you. Do you still have feelings for him? w-wait, you don’t have to answer that, was that insensitive?

you: you’re fine haha. Um...well...sometimes when I overthink things at night, I do miss him and I wonder what the hell I did wrong for it to end so abruptly because I was honestly really happy with him, but then I wake up in the morning and I hate him again.

mj: you did nothing wrong y/n...and if you need to call me at 2 am when you’re overthinking and need some badass confidence knocked into you, I will be awake.

you smile and give him a hug: thanks myungjun...you know the same goes for you too?

mj: hm??? what do you mean??

you: you don’t always have to smile around me, especially if you don’t feel like it. Don’t repress your mental health, huh? It’s bad for the soul to bottle it in. I’m not gonna force you to share your darkest fears with me, I’m just saying that if you feel drained and wanna talk about it, I’m here to listen

myungjun pouts a little bit, he’s really touched?? it’s hard for him to share his troubles with others

like as much as he loves astro and is close to them, he doesn’t share his down sides with the boys as often as he should bc he never wants to burden them

myungjun just always thought it was easier to suppress the bad feelings and put on a happy act

but he couldn’t deny the weight lifted off his shoulders after telling you about his breakup

and maybe it was because your energies were on a different level lately, but he found it so?? easy?? to just vent to you after that

until competition, the two of you worked on faking like you were in love (basically imagining that each other was your favorite actor/actress or whatever, something like that)

it was good enough for the group to believe it lol

but what about the judges and audience hmmmmm

anyway, fast forward and it’s competition day!!

myungjun introduces you to his best friends aka the boysss aka astro

they come and support him for his competition ugh we love

you’re like smiling and hyper when you meet them

...has myungjun been rubbing off on you???

you: it’s so nice to meet you all! myungun always talks so highly of you

astro: huh?? you’re lying, myungjun hyung complimenting us???

and then they start messing and friendly bickering with each other and yes they’re teasing mj

you’re laughing bc it’s so cute?? you can see in their eyes and their smiles how much they really care about each other :’)

also astro, probably jin or eunwoo, maybe rocky: we’re sorry if m hyung has driven you to insanity these past few months of rehearsing

you just laugh as myungjun hits them: myungjun’s actually been like my partner in crime lately, so we’re all good :)

*cue the boys exchanging looks with each other*

you perform ah ha ha

alright, you were so used to thinking that myungjun was...idk kim soohyun or something bc mm chef’s kiss his acting...to get into the emotion of the song

but then during the actual performance you saw him as myungjun and like all the hard work and extra practices and late night talks came in full force and you were just...singing to him

and you notice how...handsome?? and charismatic?? myungjun really is...and the little sparkle in his eyes when he’s performing like...wow

and after your set, you’re just like shit, what the fuck was that??

your group doesn’t win though, you place second!

but you and myungjun get awarded best solo/duet of the entire competition

astro: ;)

your acapella group: ;)

the judges: ;)

alright so im a firm believer that if myungjun had feelings for someone, he would straight up tell them like balls to the wall full fucking send

after competition, the routine of school comes back. you occasionally hang out with myungjun outside of rehearsal

by occasionally, I mean once a week hangout with myungjun (and astro bc they started inviting you to their dinners)

and then one night – at midnight – he calls you like out of pocket and his tone is like completely serious

you’re a bit scared?? like: myungjun...is everything okay? did something happen?

mj: y/n...can I ask you something?

you: yeah, of course

mj: do you still think about your ex?

you: o_o um...honestly no, not really...why?

mj: well, if I’m being honest. y/n, I have feelings for you. And i’m not asking you to like me back or give me an answer straight away, but I just wanted to let you know. If you don’t think about your ex anymore, and if you think you’re ready...maybe you can consider thinking of me??

mmmmm kim myungjun you slick flirty dog grrr bark bark

and you know how he can just talk, and talk fast, so you’re still in the middle of processing this and he just goes on like

“sleep on it, y/n. I’ll see you soon for rehearsal, okay? good night”

like you don’t even have a chance to respond to him bc he just hangs up the phone

you think about it, of course you think about it, you’ve been thinking about it ever since competition

having feelings for myungjun has always been in the back of your mind since then

like did you notice that when you hung out with him, your heart would flutter if he said something sweet?? or if you two were a bit too close to each other?? 100%

but you didn’t know if either of you were ready for another relationship so it’s just been put on the back burner

at the next acapella practice, you find that your cheeks just flush whenever myungjun looks your way

the rehearsal went a bit??? weird?? like even your group noticed that there was a bit of a tension between you and myungjun

but of course, he goes up and talks to you after rehearsal ended and he’s like: hey...I’m sorry if my confession made you feel weird, I didn’t mean for that at all. If you want, we can just forget about what I said and stay friends!

you just facepalm like: myungjun you idiot, I’m acting weird because I like you too. God, you know maybe the boys are right, maybe you need to shut your mouth for a little bit

and he whines like: hey!

but then he realizes what you said and he gives you the brightest smile: you mean it?? you like me back??

and you’re like shyly smiling now: yeah...I do...but do you want to take the next step?? I mean...do you think you’re ready for another relationship??

he gets like serious and he grabs your hand: not gonna lie, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully ready after my last one...but if there’s someone I wanna try it with, it’s you.

:’) kim !!! myung !!! jun !!!

dating myungjun?? the best thing ever

the cutest boy alive honestly

he has so much cute and goofy in him already with just friends and strangers

but with you, it’s increased tenfold

even you start to act cute and goofy after dating him

petnames?? bub and bubby

myungjun is not serious about a lot of things, but he is very serious about his feelings for you and your relationship

y’all take things at your own pace and he !! values !! consent !! even if it’s just like making out

he just doesn’t wanna mess things up with you :’)

the type of boyfriend to sing you to sleep ah !!! his voice is heaven alright

will be extra about pda in front of the guys to make them grossed out

and yes you get embarrassed, but myungjun’s too cute to scold

you get used to a lot of second-hand embarrassment dating him and being friends with the boys

but it’s just so endearing, you can’t even fight it

will swing your arms together when you’re out just walking

screams he’s so cute

you don’t really fight bc communicating with each other is one of the biggest things in your relationship

like if a disagreement or a situation comes up, you two are mature enough to talk it through and work things out bc you both already been knew what it’s like to be in a relationship that didn’t have full transparency

you do jokingly bicker about small things though (like think about how astro fights)

but he always ends fights by scooping you up in a hug and showering your face with kisses

loves kissing your nose

just imagine: you and myungjun cuddling and he just kisses your nose and you scrunch up your face and he just laughs and kisses you all over and you two end up giggling

will do anything to see a smile on your face, it’s the greatest sight to him

alright we been talking too much about how cute myungjun is

he’s also a hot motherfucker alright

the most attractive when he’s singing in your opinion

you know how charismatic he is, you’ve seen it first hand during rehearsal and performances

he’s very good at hiding his horniness, especially in public

but phew when you two are in private and myungjun’s in the mood

you can tell bc his eyes just get hazy and he immediately just starts kissing your neck

a very passionate lover, will prioritize your pleasure over his

sex with myungjun can go from being sweet and sensual, to fun and playful, to hot and exciting

by that...I mean that he is down to try every kink and position you can think of

as long as both of you are okay with it ofc

he’s one of the kinkiest members in astro im convinced

blindfolds? bondage? ice cubes? wax play?

you want it? you got it

he’s not into feet though, i apologize to my foot fetish lovers

his favorite position is actually missionary

myungjun loves being able to watch you and to see how good he’s making you feel

in missionary is when he feels the most connected to you, it’s just a passionate position

and yes he’s very vocal, so you betcha he encourages you to be vocal as well

will try to mess with you in a sense where say you two are hanging out with the guys, he’ll touch you and challenge you to not make a noise

and then he’ll snicker and wink at you if you even let out a peep

he’s a tease !!! like will edge you until you’re on the brink of cumming at least 3 times

myungjun has pretty good stroke game alright

very fluid with his hips, idk he just knows all the right spots to hit

praise...kink...that’s the tweet, need I say more

he’s into hair pulling !! both ways !!

okay hear me out...myungjun fucking you and pulling your hair until your screaming and then after you both cum, he’s like: you hit a high f earlier bub! I almost wanted to harmonize with you but–

you: myungjun are you serious!

sex with him would always just be a fun time, like he’s hot and grrr it feels so good but there’s always a bit of laughing and joking around in the process

like he will tickle you before he puts his cock in you just to see the switch of you laughing to moaning

alright but shower sex?? he’s into that

and just the acoustics of both of your sounds in the bathroom?? it’s so filthy he loves it – and it’s easy to clean up afterwards

you bet that after any performance with your group, the two of you have sex, even if it’s just a quickie in an empty practice room or whatever

no shame, will kick the boys out or announce “we’re going to fuck bye!” if you or him get too horny in the middle of a hangout

im just gonna throw this out here...you and myungjun...mile high club

(your group competed in an acapella competition and the flight there...it just happened)

all in all, myungjun just wants to make you happy and feel good and smile, even if you two just finished an intense sex session

let’s get into the deep stuff though, you are the only person myungjun is comfortable with to not show a smile all the time

even with the boys, there’s always a small part of him that wants to just push through and be optimistic just so that they won’t worry

but with you, he knows that it’s okay to be sad and to be vulnerable :’)

when myungjun cries bc he’s upset :( fuck you cry too

he loves when you just hug him and stroke his hair when he’s stressed

very showy about your relationship, not bc he’s braggy, but bc he just wants to show the world how happy you make him and that he’s in love <3

the boys are so happy to see their eldest in love :’)

they don’t show it around each other, but they’ve come up to you in private and say sweet things like

“you make myungjun hyung so happy, he always brings joy to everyone but you bring joy to him, thank you”

im !! getting !! sentimental !!

the day you found out myungjun was in love with you was the day you met his parents

‘twas a bit spontaneous

his parents came to see one of your group performances and myungjun’s like holding your hand and leading you somewhere after you get off stage and he’s like “bub! these are my parents!”

you end up getting dinner with his family and yikes you were hella nervous, you were not expecting on meeting his parents right after your performance

not gonna lie, you thought he was leading you to the car for some post-performance sex

but they adored you, his parents could see how much you meant to their son ugh I cry

anyway, the L word

as you’re finishing dinner, myungjun’s all giddy and just like

“I’m so glad you came and watched mom and dad, the timing was perfect too! I wanted to introduce you to y/n for a while now and have you meet the person I love.”

and his parents are just smiling at you and saying how they’re so happy to finally meet you and how you have an amazing voice and to take care of myungjun and you’re !!! just !!! blushing !!!

as soon as you both got in the car after saying goodbye to his parents, he’s just like: hope I didn’t surprise you too much bubby, I didn’t know my parents were coming to watch until like an hour before we went on stage

you just give him a little smile: I was a bit caught off guard, but it’s okay. Your parents are so sweet, I see where you get it from bub.

myungjun: I can tell that they love you already! well of course not as much as I do, but with time I know they’ll come pretty close

and you’re blushing again, it’s the L word: do you mean it myungjun?

myungjun: that my parents love you?? of course–

you: no, bub...that you...love me?

myungjun: yeah...unless you don’t feel the same way–

you: myungjun! no, of course I do! I just wasn’t expecting the first time to hear it was with your parents

you two are laughing, ugh this man

after your giggles subside, he leans over from the driver’s seat and he just cups your cheek and pecks your nose: I love you y/n, thank you for reminding me what love feels like

you: I love you too myungjun

and then you two are just like sharing a sweet kiss in the parking lot of the restaurant before starting the drive back to his place

do you and myungjun make duets together for fun and post it?? yeah probably

you are the luckiest dating myungjun, the living breathing embodiment of serotonin and love

even when you two are older and out of college, he still gives you the same affection and attention and authenticity ugh he’s just amazing

im so sorry this was late but happy belated to our happy virus <3

3-12-21

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fagandordyke · 7 years

Text

she was too good for me jesussss

#im sorry for fuckin appearing out of nowhere just to vent abt my stupid problems #like i have waaaaay bigger problems rn but im screaming abt this for some reason #anyway #fridge speaks

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haikyuuscreaming · 5 years

Note

hello!! can you write something fluff with kenma, please? some friends to lovers if possible. loving your blog 💕💕

OH SHIT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG SDFSDFJKD this is. 3.5k words roughly and im so sorry idk why my fics always come out longer than 1k words :(((

The first time you meet Kozume Kenma, he’s hiding behind the wall that is Kuroo Tetsurou and you’re both in your first year.

“Oh?” The Nekoma volleyball captain stares you down in the Chem class you share with him. “You’re [Surname]-san, right?”

“Yeah,” You say, never breaking eye contact with him but secretly eyeing the quiet boy behind him. He’s your classmate in a few other of your periods, but not this one. This class is an advanced Chemistry class, placing you conveniently with the second-years and a handful of equally smart first-years. “I need help with the homework and you’re my best bet. Could you help out?”

Kuroo narrows his eyes at you, which you don’t exactly appreciate but you don’t say anything. “You sure you don’t want me to just give answers?”

“I kinda need to understand this to pass the class, so no thanks.”

He hums in approval, like you’ve passed some test, and nods. “Sure thing. I wanted to teach Kenma this anyway.”

Oh, that’s his name… you think to yourself, and you noticed the mentioned Kenma doesn’t look up from his Nintendo Switch, even at the mention of his name. You watch Kuroo turn around to his companion, coercing him, “Kenma, get up, we’re learning Chem.”

“Can’t we do it later?” Kenma’s voice doesn’t hold anything akin to bitterness or complaint- it’s kind of devoid, actually, in a soft and cute way- and you try to tune out the sound of Kuroo scolding him but he’s so loud when he’s right next to you.

“C’mon, we’re about to go home now, we can stay after school a little longer. Plus, we get to teach this lovely lady about nuclei.”

“I’m right here, you know,” you roll your eyes lightly but before you know it, you’re defending Kozume-san. “We can always work it out, um… I dunno, maybe over lunch on Sunday? I mean, it is Friday and this thing’s due Monday and… we can have more fun studying this if we have food.”

Stupid fucking Kuroo only grins. “Oh, so you’re asking me on a date? Kinda bold, if I don’t say so myself, kouhai-chan.”

“Kuro, stop.” Kenma speaks up and his quiet voice somehow speaks volumes. “We can meet with her on Sunday to do it.” And just like that, he retreats to his Switch without another word.

Kuroo turns to you and shrugs indifferently, contrasting his previously provocative and shitfaced attitude. “The man’s laid down the law. How’s boba on Sunday sound?”

The second time you meet Kenma is on that promised study session.

He has inconspicuous earbuds in, his face illuminated by the glowing light of his DS. He has a DS, too? He still looks cute.

And there’s Kuroo of course, but he’s irrelevant to your case unless it has to do with your god forsaken chem homework.

“You want me to go order some drinks next door?” Kuroo quirks an eyebrow. “My treat.”

“Just a brown sugar milk tea, thanks,” You tell him gratefully. Thank god for men and their dead sense of chivalry.

“No boba? You’re crazy.” Kuroo scrunches his nose at you and you wish Kenma would start talking so you could avoid this big, annoying cat. “What about you, Kenma? Your usual?”

“Yeah,” is all Kenma says.

“Alright, see you nerds later,” Kuroo practically sings out, patting both of your heads like an old man, and takes something from Kenma that you don’t quite catch, but it makes Kenma glare at him.

As soon as Kuroo’s out of sight, you find it a little awkward to keep conversation with Kenma especially with his whole gamer complex, but-

Oh.

Kuroo took Kenna's DS.

“Kuroo-san’s pretty bothersome, huh,” you sigh out in an attempt to stir conversation. Lucky for you, Kenma goes along with the conversation without fight, his eyes peering over you like reflective pools of honey.

(They’re really pretty, you think.)

“Yeah,” Kenma slouches down a little bit more in his chair at the mention of his taller friend. “He’s kind of like my second mom… but not really. Always nagging me to do things.”

You laugh at his solemn, depressed answer. “It’s fun to have him around, though, right? He’s kind of funny sometimes-- the rest he’s annoying-- and he’s decently smart even though I’m pretty sure he’s got, what, three braincells.”

To your unprompted delight, Kenma laughs softly at you poking fun of Kuroo, and the conversation between you and him starts piling up into more, and more, and it all feels so short. You don’t even notice Kuroo coming back and hovering over the table.

“Eh? You and Kenma getting along without me? What a shame, you know. I really do get third-wheeled.” Kuroo lets out a wistful sigh akin to an old man and sits down, drinks in hand. “So, who’s ready to study?”

The third time you meet Kozume Kenma, it’s at your mall’s arcade.

You and your friends are playing one of those claw machines, trying to get that really cute Miku figurine and those adorable plushies, wasting all your coins on these sucker games like the dumb teenagers you are. But a glimpse of familiar, two-toned hair catches your eye.

“Hold on,” you tell your friends who’re still busy trying to get that stupidly gorgeous Sakura Miku figure. “I’m gonna be right back.”

You wander your way to the familiar head of hair, and gratefully, your instinct was right. “Kozume-san? What’re you doing here?”

Kenma practically jumps at the sound of your voice, turning around, eyes wide. “Oh. I just got lost from the team. You’re here too?”

“Mhm,” You smile, pointing at your screaming group of friends. “My friends and I are here just to chill out and have fun. You can hang with us if you want!”

He shakes his head, his hair gracefully framing his face. “Nah, I’m fine, thanks.. I’ll just hold out until Kuro sniffs me out or something.”

You furrow your brow- geez, this kid’s gonna get lost so fast-- and you gently clasp the phone he’s holding in his hand. “Can I give you my number? I’ll pick up immediately if you ever call, just give a ring.”

You fail to notice the surprise that flits over Kenma’s face, but he reluctantly hands you his phone and you tap in your number quickly. “See you around, Kozume-san. Don’t get into trouble.”

And Kenma smiles on his own accord, his face lighting up softly like a lamp under moonlight. “You too.”

The fourth time you meet Kozume Kenma, he’s at your house working on an Japanese Lit assignment.

“Oh? Kozume-kun!” You’re pleasantly surprised when your teacher pairs the two of you up. “Nice to talk with you again.”

“Yeah, “ Kenma blinks a little awkwardly and he shyly grins, which you find even more stunning than it already is because he’s usually held up such a calm, unaffected facade. “Uh. So do you want to meet up at… your house for this? So we can do the project.”

“Oh, yeah,” You wave dismissively, beaming at him because this is your chance to get closer with him. “My little brother’s a nuisance, though, so he might bother us. I hope you don’t mind?”

“No problem.. you can text me the address, because… yeah.” You find it cute how Kenma doesn’t want to mention that the two of you have been texting a lot more lately, and the slightest blush tints his cheeks.

“Of course!”

Flash to your house, the two of you are on the floor, slaving over a giant posterboard with paint and art supplies scattered about.

“I hate making movie posters, it’s so tiring…” You groan out, trying to paint Yukio Mishima’s face with the utmost care. “And this book’s so creepy… why would we wanna make a poster of it? He commits seppuku!”

Kenma grins a little bit and he looks really cute, with his hair tied up in the back and his gaze focused on the painting at hand. “You’re so easily grossed out.”

“But he made it so detailed! You're immune ‘cause you play all those gross horror games.”

He laughs quietly, and you think you're going to heaven. “You couldn't even handle Ao Oni, stop.”

You scowl at the mention of Kenma’s dumb horror games. “He’s this weird deformed grape, okay?? It was kinda scary!”

The two of you end up nowhere near finishing your poster, and you collectively decide to put it off for maybe another day. The rest of your day is spent-- c-cuddling? (no hetero, you reassured Kenma, although you were thinking otherwise)-- and playing more horror games, much to your chagrin.

(But it gave you a reason to hug Kenma tighter.)

You can’t even count the amount of times you’ve met up with Kenma now. You’re in your second-year of high school now and your bond with him as only strengthened.

He invited you eventually to walk to school with him, along with Kuroo, and you find out that it was Kuroo’s coaxing to do so. But you’re still delighted that Kenma agreed on, what, the second time Kuroo nagged him about it?

You and Kenma have gotten fairly close. You’ve vented to him, cried to him, he’s shown his emotional side, too. You’ve even gotten a little closer to Nekoma’s god, Kuroo Tetsurou (to which your friends always complain about- “you can’t take all the cute guys for yourself”). But, in your opinion, the most important part is that you’ve been getting closer to Kozume Kenma, who you once thought would always just be the quiet classmate to you. Who would always be your unattainable, close-guarded crush.

"Kenma!” You yell out, rushing over to him with your backpack practically bouncing off of you with each step. “Wait up, would you?! How do you get out of class so quick??”

"I was waiting for you either way,” Kenma mumbles and hunches his shoulders together. “Do you wanna go to my house? I have new games and Kuroo won't be bothering us.”

“Can’t we get snacks first?” You know you sound a little bit whiny, but you’re hungry as fuck, and Kenma’s smiling either way.

“I guess.. you’re paying, though.”

“That isn’t fair at all!”

Eventually the two of you walk to your nearest 7/11 and get chips and snacks before leaving promptly, with you holding your chocolate milk and Kenma sipping apple juice. The walk to his house is full of conversation, Kenma equally engaged as you are. But as soon as you arrive at his front doorstep, the hollow noise of an empty apple juice box makes its appearance.

“You drink your juice too fast!” You tease Kenma lightly as he frowns, unlocking the door.

“You just drink too slow,” he replies and shoulders the door open. The two of you make your way inside and flop onto the couch, Kenma crouching near the TV to boot up his newest game. “Damn. I’m still thirsty, too.”

“Language, Kenma,” You chide him, throwing a pillow at him as soon as he sits down next to you on the couch. “And-” it takes every ounce of your willpower not to turn bright red. “-do you want some of my chocolate milk?”

The silence that follows is very short (probably only, what, a second or two?), but it feels like hours of painful quiet. Kenma blinks at you and the pink that dusts his ears becomes more and more prominent each second.

“Yeah… sure,” Kenma finally says and you beam so wide that you’re sure not even the sun could battle the brightness of your happiness right now. You hand him your nearly untouched chocolate milk and his fingers brush against yours as he takes it, sipping at it cautiously like he was afraid something would happen.

(Oh my god he’s so cute.. he looks so cute… he’s drinking my chocolate milk!! He’s so-)

“Oi, Kenma! My mom told me to pick up some tomatoes from y-” The door bursts open to reveal Kuroo Tetsurou.

You freeze, since Kuroo just witnessed you passing a chocolate milk box to Kenma and the latter sipping at the straw. Kenma kind of flushes, his mouth still wrapped around the plastic straw with chocolate milk halfway up.

“Eh? Sharing drinks now?” Kuroo tsks and shakes his head, a smirk gracing his stupidly arrogant face. “You know, you two could get mono. Or any other communicable diseases. Kinda risky, you know?”

“Kuroo, stop!” You’re wildly embarrassed to be caught in this not-so-platonic situation (in your opinion, at least), before Kuroo lets out a hearty laugh.

“You know, that’s an indirect kiss!”

“Didn’t I say stop?!”

“Ah, youth. Indirect kisses! You put your mouth on the straw, then he did. Romance at its finest!”

You know, deep inside, Kuroo just likes to rile you up, but you still bite the bait. “Kuroo, shut up, please??”

And Kenma speaks up for the first time during the whole banter. “Kuro, the tomatoes are on the kitchen table. Go.”

The Nekoma captain quirks an eyebrow before shrugging and heading towards the kitchen. “Thanks. Don’t do anything risky.”

“Kuroo!”

You and Kenma awkwardly glance at each other-- you note he’s still sipping your chocolate milk-- and eventually he stands off to ward Kuroo off (who keeps chuckling for no goddamn reason).

You two are alone again, and his burnt-gold eyes stare into yours.

“Did Kuro bother you?” His ears are still pinkish, but you notice that he’s still comfortable, although you can see a sheen of sweat starting to form on his face.

“Nah... “ You force your voice to stay level. “Why does he keep doing this?? God, he’s so annyoing sometimes… it isn’t like- it isn’t like we’re dating or anything.” God fucking damn stuttering.

Kenma’s eyes widen for a fraction of a millisecond, and you almost miss it, before he clears his throat. “Yeah. Not like that at all.. let’s just go back to playing.”

The atmosphere morphs into the usual, playful one that is held between the two of you, and you’re becoming proud of how much better Kenma is at redefining conversations and shifting the mood whereas in the beginning he would struggle in topic changes.

You’re so proud of him.

(And you’re kind of in love with him.)

You have a group chat with Kuroo and Kenma, unsurprisingly.

It’s, what, midnight on a school day, and the three of you are texting. Kuroo offers a game of ‘truth or dare’, and you accept out of sheer boredom. Plus, dares are so much easier to do online because you can fake nearly anything.

kuroo >:/: kenma truth or dare

kenma :): i’m not playing

YOU: yea you are !! ur not getting out of this

kenma :): fine

don’t say anything stupid though

kuroo >:/: so whats it gonna b???

Kenma takes a good ten seconds to respond.

kenma :): truth.

kuroo >:/: you got a crush on anyone?

YOU: oooh spicy

kenma :): kuro why

Your heart races a little bit at the comment.

YOU: oh? kenma i thought we were besties :(( why wouldnt u tell me

kenma :): it isn’t that….

kuro you already know why are you asking me that here

kuroo >:/: for my favorite kouhai [name]-chan

YOU: fuck off kuroo we all know im ur fav bc i pay for ur boba

kuroo >:/: fair

You get impatient with Kuroo’s mindless banter, so you end up texting Kenma privately.

YOU: so who is ur crush????

kenma :): why do you assume i have one

YOU: i mean….u wouldve denied it if u didnt have one?

He leaves you on seen for two minutes and you’re about to text him and complain but his reply shoots back.

kenma :): it’s you

And your heart doesn’t skip a beat. No, it just beats even faster.

The blood is rushing to your face, you can feel it, and a smile tugs at your face subconsciously. Your brain’s running a mile a minute, and you’re so outrageously shocked and unprepared that the aftermath of it all hits you just about a minute later.

(What if he’s lying? What if someone made him say that? What if-)

YOU: fr?

YOU: kenma dont mess w me

kenma :): i’m not

kenma :): you wanted to know so yeah. it’s you

kenma :): i like you and idk kuro says it’s “more than just like” and maybe he’s right

kenma :): see u at school tmr

YOU: WAIT KENMA COME BACK ???

You cute little rat, you seeth internally, happiness still radiating off of you. Is this a dream? Oh my god. Kozume Kenma likes me.

… Kozume Kenma feels the same way I feel about him.

The next day, you anxiously wait for Kenma at your doorstep. You even woke up early and had gotten ready as soon as you could, just so you could catch Kenma ASAP.

You slept surprisingly well, despite your anxiety from Kenma, and your body was filled with energy. You check your phone every two minutes, glancing at his ‘good morning text’ and praying for another one.

kenma :))): gm i’m still walking to school with u if you want… i’ll pass by your house just in case

YOU: oh!!!! yea id love to walk to school w u :))

Silence fills your ears as you anxiously pace back and forth from your doorstep to the curb of your neighborhood. You can’t help but worry as your gaze flits across every house, begging for a sign of Kenma.

(What if you’re too late, you realize in panic. What if your efforts weren’t enough?)

But then the sound of quiet-paced footsteps snaps you out, and you look up to see Kenma, standing in front of your house, an adorably shy expression painted across his face.

“Kenma!” You hate how your voice comes out kind of squeaky and high-pitched but you don’t care right now. You practically launch off of your doorstep and bound toward him, settling by his side.

He gives you a shy, adoring look but you can see the anxiety in his eyes as he points forward in the direction of Nekoma. “We can talk while walking, right?”

You smile breathlessly and your fingers brush against his. He smiles at you, and you notice the same pink dusting his ears like when he was sharing chocolate milk with you.

Two hands intertwine and the conversation begins.

You’re in your third year of college now, out on a “boys (and girl) night out”, as Kuroo deemed it.

Kenma’s got it well-made for him, striking good on his company to which you supported him through the entire time, and Kuroo’s on his way to be the scientist he’s always dreamed of being even as a nerdy-jock kid. He claims he’s practically a professional volleyball player, too, just on the side, but both you and Kenma know better.

You and Kenma have been dating ever since your second-year in high school. Which makes it just about… four-ish years now that you’ve been dating.

(Kuroo claims that in your first-year, you and Kenma were basically dating each other spiritually, but you pay him no mind.)

The three of you are out on the beach on an autumn day. It’s pretty empty, despite the warm evening sun that casts a golden shine on the sand and ocean, so you’re all making epic sandcastles in peace.

“We should make a moat,” Kuroo says, already digging out a ring around the lopsided sandcastle.

“We haven’t even finished the castle itself!” You protest, pushing him lightly as you use your other hand to pat down the base of the castle.

Kenma packs sand into a small bucket and delicately places it on top of the half-finished sand “castle” to make a tower. You find it cute how he’s the only one putting in decent effort, so you help him out by packing in another bucket of sand. “Kuro would be a terrible architect,” Kenma comments.

“You right, you right,” You sigh out while Kuroo squawks in protest. Kenma leans on you, out of instinct you think, and you kiss the top of his head gently. Kuroo covers his eyes and complains about his youth and young love before Kenma haphazardly bumps into you. Which leads to the sand castle collapsing.

“Ah- Kenma!” you cry out in panic, sweeping the sand together in a half-hearted attempt to piece it back into a cohesive castle. “Be careful!”

“No, look,” he says quietly, a small smile gracing his face.

“You worked so hard on the base too, to make it big and flat- oh?” You sit up a little bit when you see a small velvet box in the middle of the sand pile.

Kuroo gasps very loudly and you stare at Kenma in shock.

Oh my god. What’s happening, what’s happening, oh my god-

You slowly reach out for the box in the middle of the mess and take it delicately, brushing off the sand clinging to it. Your fingers pry it open with shaking fingers and you feel Kenma place his hand on your arm gently, his gorgeous honey eyes staring at you. The same honey eyes you fell in love with.

You're also in love with the gorgeous, sparkling amber ring that sits in the middle of the cushioned box.

“[Name]. I want to be married. To you. Will you marry me?” Kenma’s voice is soft and sweet but you know with the convincing sureness in his voice that he’s been practicing this line for at least a month and he’s become confident in it.

You start crying immediately (god damn it, you think to yourself) your heart blooming with joy and your entire body feels like it’s about to explode of pure happiness.

You kiss him, full on the lips with tears streaming down your face and he kisses back, his arms wrapping around you and you realize he’s crying too. With the possibly happiest voice you’ve ever used in your life, you cry out, “Of course I will!” on the beach with Kuroo clapping in the background.

Two years later on that beach, you two become the happiest couple on Earth.

#kenma kozume x reader #kozume kenma x reader #kenma kozume #kozume kenma #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #hq x reader

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akiology · 4 years

Text

Hello, Are You There? || Part 1

Minako tries the number neighbor thing. Thinking it was an inactive number, she decides to vent and express her frustrations, turning it into a sort of mini diary. What she didn’t expect was somebody was actually on the other line and decided to send a message back.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Word Count: 3.4k+

Pairing: Akihiko Sanada x Minako Arisato

Note: alternate universe where there are no demons, no dark hour and therefore no SEES. also, minato and minako are twins :3 this was something i started writing out of nowhere, so please tell me if there are any spelling errors!

Minako was the type to be able to handle herself. She is always there for her friends, giving them support when needed and cheering them on. However, when it came to herself, she didn’t like opening up. It wasn’t because she didn’t trust her friends, or secretly hated them. No, that is not the case. She is simply afraid because she believes that opening up and telling others about her deepest, darkest fears will make her vulnerable and weak. She didn’t like that one bit.

She believes that she always has to be strong.

Being the older sister(by five minutes), and the one in charge of taking care of Minato because her parents are working abroad, she thinks that she always has to be strong.

Of course, sooner or later she will have to realize that she can’t always be strong.

/./

Classes just ended, and Minako decided to have a cup of coffee at Chagall Café along with Yukari and Fuuka for some quality girl time.

“Have you heard of this trend? It’s an old one but I found it interesting.” Yukari asks, shoving her phone at Fuuka and Minako. The latter shakes her head, while Fuuka studies the image on Yukari’s phone.

“What is it about?” Minako inquires, seemingly uninterested. Yukari didn’t notice it though.

“Basically, get your phone number and change the last digit into the neighboring numbers. And then you send a message.” Yukari answered, taking back her phone.

“Oh, what happens next?” Fuuka asks, not quite understanding the purpose.

“Well, they’ll reply. And maybe you’ll get a new friend.” Yukari states, with a big smile on her face.

“Oh… that’s quite... um...” Fuuka trails off, not knowing how to finish her sentence.

“Lame.” Minako interjected.

Yukari laughed. “Of course you would say that! But why not try it? You may get something out of it... like maybe a relationship?”

Minako scrunches her eyebrows, absolutely weirded out by how the thought of that idea did a big jump. “That seems like a reach. But anyways, I don’t need to be in a relationship! I’m already happy I got you guys!”

Yukari snorted, while Fuuka gave a big smile, “I’m happy I have you guys, too.”

“Okay but I want to try it at least once.”

“Then you do it yourself, Yukari.”

“No! I want to do it with you guys! What do you think, Fuuka?”

“It wouldn’t hurt to try…”

“Seriously Fuuka?”

“Fuuka already agreed! Two against one!”

“Fine… But only once, okay? If they don’t reply, then that’s it.”

“Pfft, sure!”

/./

Of course, Minako didn’t really expect a reply. After all, who in their right minds would reply to a random number texting ‘Hey there number neighbor!’. She is sure as hell she wouldn’t. Thinking that her number neighbor might be an inactive number, she decides not to dwell on it anymore as she prepares dinner for her and Minato.

At the sound of the door opening and some keys being carelessly thrown somewhere reaches her ears, Minako smiles at the thought that her younger brother is home. She puts on a big smile to greet her brother, “Minato, welcome home!”

Minato just grunted in reply. She knows this mood of his. He probably had a bad day, and when Minato is having a bad day, he doesn’t have the energy to talk or interact with other people.

“Can you please set the table? I’m almost done with the food.” Minako pleads, hoping that he isn’t too tired. Minato didn’t reply, however he did start on setting the table.

As Minako served the food on the table, Minato decided to go back to his room and change. When he came back down, they started eating.

“Tough day?” Minako tries starting up a conversation with his brother. Minato nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Minako asks again, and Minato shook his head no.

And they ate in silence.

/./

The next day, it didn’t seem like Minato’s mood changed. As they were going to school, Minato was quiet and didn’t seem to acknowledge her presence. Minako knows that even if her brother is acting cold, he still loves her so. But that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. All she could do was sigh and turn her volume on to the highest level, drowning out the rest of the world.

As they were walking through the school gates, some girls blocked the way, not caring if they were causing a big inconvenience to the other students.

Minako, curious with what was happening decided to lower her volume and listen.

“Akihiko-senpai is most likely coming soon! He usually arrives at this time!” One girl said, smiling huge, jumping up and down.

“O-M-G! I hope he looks our way!” Another girl squealed, and Minako swears that her eyes were shaped like a heart.

“I am like, so proud of him for winning that competish! I’m going to ask for an autograph!” A third girl chimed in, flopping her arms around.

Minako rolled her eyes. It wasn’t of any importance. Some girls just bothering a poor, helpless guy. She sighs once again, maxing out her volume and silently walking to class.

/./

This day isn’t being kind to Minako.

And that was sugarcoating it.

The teachers dumping a bunch of work on the students, just a week before the finals. The volleyball club members fighting with the leader. Obnoxious and disrespectful customers at Minako’s part-time job. Minato still not opening up.

This day was absolute shit.

After dinner, Minako decided to head straight to her bed and lock her door. She flopped herself on her bed and released a big sigh. Her chest feels tight and she feels worn out. She’s read somewhere that crying is a good way to let out your feelings, and it might make you feel a whole lot better if you let it out.

However, nothing was coming out.

She blinked a few times. Nothing.

Suddenly, the feeling of anger is overpowering her. The frustration of not being able to cry is getting to her, and she decided that the best way to go about it is to scream in to her pillow.

That still didn’t help.

She decided to grab her phone. Another thing she read is that opening up might help. She didn’t like the thought one bit, but she knows that she can trust her friends. She scrolled through her screen, Yukari? Fuuka? She decides to go through their group chat, and although they are both online, they seem to be talking about something happily and she didn’t want to dampen the mood.

Maybe Rio? But she’s got her own problem with the volleyball team. Probably best not to stress her out anymore.

Minato? She knows damn well that her brother won’t judge her no matter what, but Minato is probably asleep already.

She sighs yet again, until she comes across her number neighbor.

Hey number neighbor!

Still no reply. Maybe it really is an inactive number.

It’s perfect.

I mean, it’s still sort of opening up to somebody, right?

Plus, she won’t be bothering anybody and she’ll be able to express her frustrations.

Win-win.

She decides to start typing.

Minako: hey there number neighbor

Minako: i know this is really fucking stupid but today was really shitty

Minako: and im telling this to you because i know nobodys there

Minako: but basically what happened was the teachers decided to drop every fucking major requirement the week before exams, and then my part-time job is so demanding, both my boss and the customers

Minako: my boss kept dumping work on me and he did say he would pay me extra but it was still pretty fucking tiring

Minako: and then today the leader of my club expressed her frustrations on said club

Minako: and my brother still wont open up…

Minako: and… i don’t know… i guess it just sorta sinked in to me all of a sudden that im tired..

Minako: and sad… and lonely…

Minako: i

Minako: wow

Minako: that got too real too fast

And a tear fell down her cheek. Minako blinked a few times, and more tears came down.

She was crying. And she couldn’t stop, and she decided to let herself feel this.

She fell asleep crying.

/./

“Shit!” Minako hurriedly put her textbooks in her bag, panicking as she realizes she woke up late. She is usually the one who wakes up first, and then she will be the one who will wake up Minato, who is a heavy-sleeper.

Today, Minato was the one to wake her up, but because Minato isn’t a morning person, they are both late.

When Minako finally finished her packing her things, she put her hair in a bun and washed up herself really quickly.

“I’m really sorry, Minato! You can go on without me!” She shouts from her room, suddenly having trouble putting on her uniform.

“No.” Minato answers back simply. Minato was a man of habit and if he got used to something, he’d want to keep it that way. So going to school without Minako is going to feel weird.

“I’m done!” Minako quickly grabbed her phone and her headphones while going down the stairs quickly. “Let’s go!”

/./

They both managed to snag a seat on the train, and Minako decided to check the time on her phone. It wasn’t time yet, but they are most likely be late since the train hasn’t left yet. She notices two notifications on her phone. One from Yukari, containing the words, “wer r u and minato?” and another from an unknown number.

She decides to open it and her blood ran cold.

It was from her number neighbor.

She remembers clearly how she decided to vent to her number neighbor, thinking it was an inactive number.

It was an inactive number, right? Still in denial and thinking it was her phone glitching, she decided to open it anyway.

???: Hey, I am sorry for ignoring your message. I thought you were a prankster, but I can tell that you have been having a hard time. Prankster or not, I want to make sure if you’re okay and not doing anything bad.

???: If it helps you even just a little bit, you can continue venting to me. :) I do not mind at all. I have heard that venting to a complete stranger is much easier than venting to a friend, since there is no judgment. And that’s completely true.

???: I won’t judge you.

Minako was dumbfounded. Is this guy for real? She thought she was going to get told off by the guy, but he seems really nice.

Minako: omg im so sorry my friend told me to do this number neighbor thing

Minako: and when you didn’t reply i thought it was an inactive number

Minako: last night i was really frustrated and nothing was helping

Minako: so i decided to vent to this number because i figured no one was gonna read it anyways

Minako: i am really sorry if i disturbed u

Minako sighed to herself. The train finally started moving and she decided to play music to get her mind off of it. What she didn’t expect was that she was going to get a reply so soon.

???: It is fine.

???: I told you, I do not mind. You can vent to me anytime if it helps you. :)

Minako didn’t know how to react. This guy is too nice.

Minako: um ok

Minako: thanks ig

Minako: u can do the same if u want

Minako: u can vent to me as well

The guy stopped replying. Probably became busy. Minako sighs in relief, she is embarrassed to say the least. She probably won’t talk to the guy for a while. Or you know, ever. That is probably it, she does not need some random stranger knowing about her problems. She decides to spend the rest of the ride listening to music and looking at the passing scenery.

/./

After school, Minako, Yukari and Fuuka decided to go to Chagall Café once again. Yukari suggested a ‘study group’ to help each other understand unclear terms and also a way to finish their projects. Fuuka and Minako agreed that it was beneficial.

After ordering their drinks and desserts, Fuuka started teaching Yukari the recent Math topic. Yukari couldn’t wrap her head around it and no matter how hard she tried to follow the discussion, she still couldn’t understand. Minako understood the lesson very well, so she was finishing one of their other projects instead.

“Okay, so first you have to write the given…” Fuuka started, while Yukari stared at the problem.

Minako was getting her things ready, when her phone vibrated. She opened it to see a message from her number neighbor. He still replied?

???: Hey, sorry for not replying. Today has been hectic.

???: But thank you! I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. :)

???: How are you feeling today, though?

Is this guy… actually concerned? Minako knows that it is rude that she is questioning and may or may not be judging the guy when she absolutely knows nothing about him. But same goes for the other guy, they do not know anything about her and yet they are concerned?

Minako: im okay today

Minako: thanks for asking

Minako: hbu?

As she finished setting up her things, she got a reply. That was quick.

???: That’s great. I am glad you are feeling better. :)

???: I am good, too. Just a little tired. But I can manage.

Minako stares at the message. Is she supposed to reply to that? Nevermind that, she is supposed to be studying right now. She decides to instead text Minato to eat outside already, as she will be home late. And then she put her phone in her bag and concentrate on her project.

/./

When Minako finally got home, the house was eerily quiet. There were no lights on either. “Minato?” She called out, no answer. She puts down her things and went to knock at his door.

“Minato?”

Still no reply. She tried opening the door, but it was locked. She went back down and checked to see if his shoes were here, and it wasn’t. He wasn’t home yet. Where was he?

Minako tried calling his number, but there was no answer. She started texting his friends, Junpei, Kenji and Kazushi. But none of them knew where he was. She was starting to get a little worried.

No, screw that. She IS worried as hell. Where could he have gone to?

She decided to get her jacket and find him herself but just before she could do that, the front door opened.

It was Minato.

She felt relieved, but at the same time she was very angry.

“And just where have you been?” Minako tried to stay calm, but her tone was harsh. Minato flinched.

“With the boys.” Minato answered, not looking at her and removing his shoes.

“Lies. They told me they didn’t know where you were.”

Minato finished with his shoes and walked past by her, seemingly ignoring her words.

“Minato, I am talking to you.”

“What?” Minato answered indifferently.

“What? What?! What do you mean ‘what’? I was worried sick! You didn’t answer any of my calls, and your friends didn’t know where you were! Not to mention that it’s late, who knows what kind of criminal could be lurking around the streets at this moment!” Minako said exasperatedly. It frustrated and angered her that her brother doesn’t seem to be thinking about what she was feeling.

“Calm down, I got home safely didn’t I? It’s fine. You’re worrying over nothing.” Minato proceeded to go upstairs to his room, not daring to look back at his sister.

“Minato Arisato, come back down here! I am not done talking to you!” Minako shouted, but it fell on deaf ears as he did not come back. Minako felt frustrated and angry and sad… She stormed into her room. Her chest was tightening and she did not like it one bit. She tried screaming into her pillow, but it did not ease her pain.

She faced up and stared at the ceiling. What was going on with her brother? Is there a problem at school? Is he being bullied? Was he having a hard time? They were in different classrooms, but even so it was just next to eachother. Yet somehow it feels like she still cannot reach him.

She unknowingly reached into her phone and started typing. She didn’t want to do this, but it feels like her hands has a mind of their own.

Minako: hey number neighbor

Minako: are u there?

Minako feels weak, vulnerable, and pathetic at this moment, but she doesn’t know what else she can do. After a minute, her phone vibrated.

???: Yes, I am.

???: What’s wrong? Did something happen?

Minako: i just

Minako: im sorry for disturbing u once again

Minako: but nothings calming me down again

Minako: i thought today was a nice day because i just hung out with my friends

Minako: but when i got home, my brother wasn’t there

Minako: i got worried and started calling

Minako: he didn’t answer so i texted his friends and even they didn’t know where he was

Minako: i was just about to go out until he came home

Minako: and i asked him where he was, wanting an explanation

Minako: but he just ignored me

Minako: and it fucking hurts because i was worried sick and he didn’t even try talking to me

Minako: im so fucking frustrated and angry and sad

Minako: its like i didn’t matter

Minako: he used to share a lot with me, i am his bestfriend

Minako: well, was, as it seems like now

When Minako finished, she put her phone down and stared at the ceiling. She started contemplating whether she did something to make her brother act like this. When she heard her phone vibrating, she quickly got it.

???: Hey, don’t jump into conclusions. Although I understand where your frustration is coming from. It is valid.

Minako: if its valid they why didn’t my brother talk to me???

???: Perhaps your brother is going through something, and he isn’t ready to talk about it. He just needs some time to figure it out himself and then he will approach you.

Minako: then what should i do????

???: Just continue loving and supporting him. Let him know you are there. And when the time comes, he will approach you.

Minako: do u think i scared him off when i got angry at him

???: I believe not. You were only being a concerned sister. And I am certain he knows that too. Like I said, what you felt is valid. It is normal, I would probably be the same if I was in your position.

Minako suddenly started crying. She closed her eyes and cried. After a few minutes, she decided to reply back.

Minako: thank u number neighbor

Minako: hey is it ok if i call u by another name or something

Minako: number neighbor is too long and it feels a bit weird

???: Alright. What do you suggest?

Minako: well when i call u by a name then u will most likely call me by a name too

Minako: is it ok if it’s a code name or a nickname

Minako: i don’t feel comfortable saying my name

???: That is fine by me. :) What kind of name will it be then?

Minako: is it ok if i call u by my favorite thing

???: And that would be?

Minako: headphones.

???: Fine by me, pancake.

Minako was surprised. Why the sudden endearment?

Minako: im sorry what?

???: Pancake. You will be calling me by your favorite thing, I’ll be calling you by my favorite thing too. :)

Minako: oh

???: Why? Is it weird? Do you want me to change?

Minako: um no

Minako: its fine

Minako: just surprised

???: Alright, pancake.

Minako couldn’t explain why she was suddenly blushing. It’s just their favorite thing. Nothing more. She decided to shake it off and proceeds to change their contact name into ‘Headphones’.

Minako: im feeling a lot better now

Minako: thank u again headphones

Headphones: I am glad I was able to help. :)

Minako: im gonna sleep now

Minako: nanite

Minako: ttyl

Headphones: Sleep well, pancake. :)

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itsthecupbros · 4 years

Text

Just a scene

I wrote this with @shattered-ecilpse-varian last night for out hogwarts au and I thought Id format it here-

Mugman looked into the mirror of the 4th floor boys bathroom and saw and felt his face flush blue. It was near midnight, no no one should walk in on him, but he was still anxious. Bracing his hands on either side of the sink and taking a deep breath, he looked himself over. Maraca, a hint of dark blue eyeshadow, light pink lip gloss. He knew that if his father, heck, anyone in his old neighborhood saw him like this, they would never wash the blood out of the road. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cold surface of the mirror. After reassuring himself, he released the sink and took a step back, looking at himself in the clear glass surface. The long blue dress gently brushed the tops of his bare feet as he turned slightly on the spot. It had two straps, leading his white shoulders and upper back exposed. He thought he looked amazing, but then all of the the memories and facts came crashing down onto him. What people would think, what they would say. Guys can't wear dresses, guys can't appear like this. His face flushed dark again and he looked at the cold floor, trying to push away the shame already rising in his face.

Indigo was wandering around stress forcing him to walk was exhausted he couldn't sleep so he sweared he heard loud angry footsteps coming his way he quickly entered the boys bathroom panic-stricken he didn't want to get in trouble all over again. He saw his crush dress up in a beautiful dress he just froze staring not knowing what exactly to say

It was a few moments before Mugman noticed him. He turned and let out a Yelp, taking a step back as his face flushed darker in embarrassment. "I-Indigo! Wh-what are you doing here?" He looked downward, his face hot. He braced himself for indigo to laugh at him, or cry out in disgust, or ridicule him in some other manner.

"Tt. Um.. you... i..." Indigo flushed red looking down dying inside "I'm sorry I...I didn't m-m-mean to i-intrude I'm sorry"

"N-No! Please! I-I was just startled..." The toon let out a nervous laugh, avoiding his eyes and rubbing at the elbow joint of his prosthetic, suddenly self conscious that it was so exposed.

"Um... what what are you why are you up this late?: Indigo mumbled softly squeezing his already scratched off and red arm trying to stay awake trying to not let anything bad happen

"I-I just wanted to... to t-try some things on without the boys from my dorm looking on..."

"Oo...um understandable..." Indigo smiled a little scratching a little. "Um....you...you looked look nice..."

Mugman flushed darker. "R-really? I..I wasn't sure... you.. you don't think I look like... l-like a freak? ..o-or something...?" He wrapped his arms around himself, still avoiding his eyes.

Indigo shook his head "N-no! I no? You don't!"

Mugman seemed stunned for a few seconds before he gave a chiming laugh and a glowing smile, his eyes shining. "..thank you..."

Indigo just gave an embarrassed thumbs up. He looked away and tried to think of more conversation "Um...so...... you can't sleep I'm guessing?"

"...no... too many nightmares..." mugman replied, looked away and biting his lip.

"Mmhm...same.... want to wander around?..um I've been doing that for the past... I don't know how many hours.. we can try to find new secret passageways and such! I do that when I can't sleep or I just watch over the dorm.. but it seems like Atlas got that one covered tonight" Inido smiled looking down reaching out his hand.

Mugman reached out, gripping it gently and smiling. "I think I'd like that..."

Indigo smiled nervously holding his hand and it started walking. "Okay! Let's do this"

Mugman giggled as he started speeding up. "Come on, I know this great hidden room up ahead!"

Indigo smiled letting the toon go first "Okay! Show show!" He said fidgeting, extremely excited and well happy. He was barely flustered anymore just happy to hang out with someone

Mugman rushed around a corner and ducked through a tapestry, starting to talk as he sped by. "My older brother is quite the troublemaker. On our first day, he showed me and lost the best spots in the castle. You would t believe the trouble he's gotten himself into in the past..."

Indigo quietly followed knowing a bit about getting in trouble "Mmhm! that's always nice"

After running down a passageway for a while, mugs turned a corner and came to a large open room with a small fountain off to the side, ornate pillars around the walls, and a tree growing in the center. Mugman smiled. "This has to be my favorite of the places he showed me... I'm not sure what it's used for, but I think it's beautiful..."

Indigo stared gobsmacked he started looking around and just smiled "Whoa..."

Mugman gently squeezed his hand. "...I know right...?" His voice had taken a softer tone.

Indigo gently squeezed back "Yeah.."

Mugman looked at him and felt his heart flutter, warmth rushing to his face. He looked away again, pushing the feeling down. He didn't know what it was, but he didn't want to tempt fate.

"So...um.." Indigo squeezed his hand a little and started walking to the tree "Let's hang out?"

Mugman walked beside him, squeezing back. "We'll have to be back before morning, but I'd love that..."

"Okay... that sucks" Indigo mumbled softly and sat down exhaustion hitting him hard

"...tired...?" Mugman asked with a small smile.

"Always.." Indigo mumbled softly rubbing his eyes

Mugman hesitated "...I get that.. some... things... have been happening lately... I... I actually really need to talk about it... s-so.. can I vent to you...?"

"Mm..do tell... I'm here.." Indigo smiled, as his eyes closed he was quietly listening

Mugman paused for a few moments, bracing himself "okay.. s-so... I...I suppose I should start at the beginning... C-Cuphead and I got kicked out of the house when I was 3... our mom was a witch, but she didn't tell our dad until after I was born. She... she died shortly after... I don't know how... our dad was already n-not fond of us because we were wizards, but when he found out my brother was gay... it was the final straw..." he paused, taking a deep breath to stop the tears forming in his eyes. "...w-we lived on the streets for a while until cups could get enough money to rent an apartment. One day, we found another toon. He literally bumped into us on the streets and begged us to help him, he said he was being hunted and he had been under the control of dark wizards for over a year... we weren't sure, but took him in... he didn't remember his name... so he gave himself the name lost... surprisingly, we were accepted into this school and were able to escape for a while... unfortunately, apparently the people who had been controlling lost didnt want to give him up... th-they... came for him... I-Ive never see Lost so scared... he was screaming and begging... we fought them off... but... we didn't get out in one piece..." he gestured to his prosthetic, tears were starting to slip down his face. "...what scares me most is that they... they hired someone... they call themselves void and they're one of the most wanted magic users in country... they crushed cuphead's hand and... they never stop until they get the job done... we have an agreement with the headmaster... so we can stay at the castle over break... b-but I'm still terrified every night that they'll find us... Im terrified they'll take lost and kill the two of us for standing in their way... and.. th-theres no way to know if today will be the last day... I.. Im just so scared..."

Indigo just stared at him worried and bewildered. He just didn't know what to say he just looked down hugging himself

Mugman realized he'd been rambling, his face flushing. "O-oh jeez... I'm so sorry... I ruined it, didnt I...? I-I shouldn't dump that on you... jeez... stupid, stupid..." he bit his lip. He completely ruined it. They were having such a nice night... Indigo didnt need to hear about all the terrifying things going on without him and his brothers...

He quietly pulled him into a hug. He quietly mumbles "I'm so sorry..."

He closed his eyes and hugged him back, repressing a sob as all the emotions he had been repressing came crashing down on him at once. The horror of watching his own brother screaming and begging for mercy. The terror of living every day having to wonder if this would be the last time he would see the sun. He was trembling, clinging to indigo as his resolve finally broke and he sobbed into his shoulder, his body shaking I violently as wave after wave of emotion crashed into him.

Indigo gently held him rubbing his back. He tried to comfort him, he was pretty sure it wasn't good enough but he had to try

He choked out apologies as he struggled to regain control, praying indigo wouldn't hate him and already hating himself for dumping his own emotions onto the person he considered his best friend.

Indigo just started softly speaking in German in a tune of a lullaby. He scooped him up the best he could and just held him continuing to speak

After the toon managed to stop himself from sobbing, he continued to cling to him, his arms wrapped around him and his face buried in his chest.

The twin buried himself into him as well mostly in his shoulder. He didn't cling on to him as tightly but he still held on to him still mumbling that German tune

After a few minutes, mugman took in a shuddering breath and gently pulled away, looking downwards. His mascara was smudged and there were black tear tracks running down his pale face. He kept his eyes downcast. "I-I'm sorry... you mustn't think much of me now... right...? ...s-sorry... I just... g-god I'm so weak...

Indigo shook his head holding both of his hands not caring about the prosthetic. He just tiredly mumbled "....you're strong...you're strong.."

Mugman hesitated "...I-I just broke down in your arms and you still tell me I'm strong.. I... I really don't deserve you as a friend..." his voice was weak and broken as he bit his lip. "...you don't deserve me dumping this on you... I-I'm sorry..."

He hugged him tightly "N-no I... don't go please" Indigo's voice out of nowhere became weak and filled with terror

He hesitated before squeezing his hand, swallowing the lump in his throat before nodding, his voice only a whisper. "O-okay... I won't go..."

"Sorry.." He eventually mumbled his eyes closed trying not to slip into sleep

"...please don't be... I'm the one who just dumped a ton off emotional trauma onto you..."

Indigo mumbled incoherently clinging onto him exhaustion finally pulling him down to slumber

Mugman ran a hand through his hair, soon realizing that he had fallen asleep. He started to panic for a few seconds before managing to calm himself down, leaning back and letting his eyes flutter shut, focusing on indigo's even breaths. Maybe just a little rest... he could... wake up before morning.... before he could stop himself, he drifted into unconscious.

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faemytho · 5 years

Text

i once plot dumped an entire "how would errink get together" thing in discord so im gonna post it here after like. a year lmao

ink doesnt "create" universes, we do, so error doesn't really have a reason to actively seek ink out and destroy him

he figures he'll kill ink when he gets around to it but DAMN is he annoying

yknow

until he catches ink laughing at a genocide run in a fellswapverse or something

and suddenly ink is intriguing. very intriguing

ink notices that error's destruction of universes has slowed down, and then one day, error joins ink in spectating a genocide run in another universe and they hang out and it's great; ink insults him and he insults ink back, but it's almost friendly, and they both kinda like it

so they do it again. they keep meeting up and by now error's destruction has almost completely stopped because he’s focused on “More Important Things”

and they become closer and closer until they can just literally speak their minds without being on edge or so tense around each other

(also during this period ink has learned of Error's haphephobia and is respectfully keeping his distance)

but one day error reaches over and punches ink's shoulder in playful banter and ink realizes that error's gotten comfortable with him, so they start getting a little more touchy-feely with each other - brushing shoulders, flicking each other's foreheads, patting each other's backs when they're venting to each other

until one day error reaches over and grabs ink's hand, and interlaces their fingers together AND NEITHER OF THEM FUCKING NOTICE OR CARE BECAUSE THEY ARE T H A T COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER

and so one day, error has a really fucken shitty day. voices screaming louder than they have in a year (when he and ink started hanging out) and he crashed too so he goes to ink and just lets it all out. and ink doesn't say anything

he just turns error towards him and pulls him into a hug

(he only does this because he actually has no fucken idea what to say other than "shit sorry man lmao")

and error just starts crying silently and ink's hugging him and error gets hit with the gay frisbee "congrats, you're gay"

but no error doesn't tell ink right away, error lets it sit, until he literally can't hold himself back bc hes an impulsive man baby

so one day, while they're talking, error blurts it out like "I think I should tell you something" and then proceeds to tell ink he's gay for him and has been for a while

ink stares at him, and he slowly goes "you do realize I don't have a soul, right" and error isn't flustered or embarrassed actually, he's saying all this calmly, like how you would talk about a normal day or some shit

like "hey, I made pasta for dinner tonight, that okay with you?" except its "hey, ink im probably in love with you, that okay with you?"

so anyways

ink goes "dude I dont have a soul" and error goes "yah I know just thought you should know im gay for you and shit - anyways, have you caught up on undernovella yet?"

"yeah I have, fucken finale is dead to me - also hey, im down to date you or whatever"

and so error goes "yo fuck that'd be cool but why" and ink shrugs

"idk you're pretty cool i mean, I wouldn't have let you hang around with me unless I didn't think you weren't. also, you're literally my best friend. im cool with whatever man"

and error shrugs too

"aight cool. i'd love to date you too"

so now they're dating

bUT their first kiss doesn't happen until a year the fuck later

their first kiss happens literally the fuck outta nowhere but they dont even notice it happened until like five minutes later bc theyre so close and comfortable with each other

and then ink jokingly says some sappy shit like "hurrdurr ur the only star I'm interested in seeing"

theyre probably in a fucken outertale or some shit bc thats the go-to au

for romantic shit and they probably cuddling up on a hill in stardin forest starwatching

and error cackles and rolls his eyes and leans up and kisses ink right on the mouth

and when he pulls away he goes "the stars in your eyes are the only ones I can ever see"

and they go back to cuddling and shit and then like five minutes later

"ink did I just kiss you?"

"idk, do it again I missed it"

"k"

#sanscest #errink #error sans #errorink #ink sans #my writing #fae's headcanons #utmv #mae writes utmv

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deanlighful · 4 years

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I just need to breathe for a moment and vent this may get a little deep and emotional so scroll on if you need too. I just have to scream this somewhere. I have to have surgery and when i told my stepmother she told me to not have it from the 27- 5th and try not to have it for 2 weeks after that. I am disabled and stuck in a small town. I am only stuck here because i a little over a year ago i had to run overnight from an ex that tried to kill me. It wasn’t even a couple of months before my stepmom was trying to kick me out of my dads house which wasn’t that great either. I don’t want to be here. I'm in a nowhere small town that has no real transportation and i can’t drive. I want to scream because the only people i have to depend on could give less then two shits about me right now. The last time i had to do anything Medical (A spinal tap) She asked if i could take a bus (Which is over an hour away BTW to that hospital you have to lay flat after) 2020 had been nothing but one thing after the next. I have to try to keep a relationship with them despite them not caring and actively hurting me emotionally and mentally because if i get sick in the least or need anything they are all i have. (Not that they are much. she tried to leave me in the ER on a heart monitor because she didn't want to be there anymore) Im tired of 2020. Im tired of being in a nowhere town. Im tired of not having one blood family member that cares about me unless its a photo op. Im tired of being disabled Im just fucking tired. If you read all this im sorry for depressing you i just needed to scream because i can’t do this right now. My body is screaming at me and this is only like the tiniest bit of my horrible day thats been apart of a bad month. Im sorry for fucking up the community blog look.

#long post #sorry guys i just need to vent before i go over the edge #fuck

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latenightsuburbansprinklersystem · 5 years

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I got home from being with my friends in the best mood I've been in in such a long time. like usually even when I'm in a good mood (always kratom induced) theres still lots of bad things in the back of my brain I have to fight against to maintain it but this was just totally uninhibited joy. but literally the second I walked in the door my mom started throwing pillows at me and screaming about what a worthless piece of shit I am and how the only time shes ever been happy since having me has been when I was gone this summer. now I never think my moms responses to the shitty or stupid things I do are even sort of proportional but I at least usually have a pretty good idea of what it is I may have done that set her off. like when she starts screaming at me out of nowhere I'll think to myself "oh this is because I forgot to hang that towel up" and 9 times out of ten I'm right. but this time I have literally no idea what I did. things have actually been pretty good between us for a minute because I've been putting so much effort into working and remembering to pick up after myself and helping her out in any way I can without being asked so there literally isnt a single thing that I can think of that maybe could have caused this. anyway I wordlessly turned around and got in my car the second I got my bearings and figured out what was happening but she followed me out and physically tried to rip me out of the drivers seat. I pushed her off and managed to get away before she caught her balance but as i was pulling out I heard her scream that if I ever come back there shes calling the cops. since I obviously dont want that to happen I'm sitting in my friends room while hes at work just absolutely losing it. im confused and scared and hurt and I have no idea what to do with myself. I'm sorry I know this post is obnoxiously long and unorganized but I really needed to vent to no one in particular before I like slit my wrists or something stupid and rash

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coridallasmultipass · 4 years

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Vent / personal / tmi / menstruation / endometriosis / long post ... Im so fucking sick of healthcare professionals telling me to just wait it out and pushing my problems onto other doctors I just got my 5th shot of lupron and have 1 more next month. On my appointment last week i told the gyn how ive been having much more cramping and tissue but not blood coming out regularly and he said its possible the combined lupron and norethindrone are making my uterine lining too thin, and to stop the norethindrone (it was being prescribed to help any menopause-like side effects the lupron can have) And less than 24 hours after my first missed dose i get a full blown period complete with extreme mood swings and depression Im not bleeding this week but im still cramping and the mood swings are so fucking bad, being chronically ill and not getting enough relief from any of my medications is making all of this worse but im literally breaking down over any little thing The lupron and norethindrone combined i guess have been suppressing all my emotions bc this is what it was like on the daily before i started it (just not as bad) which is telling me that none of my psych meds are working but whatever I just now got off the phone with my psych and he said he doesnt want to do anything with my meds or dosing bc he says its related to hormones and thats what my gyn needs to address and i Need To Wait im fucking sick of waiting i cant do this ive been waiting since last august!!!!!!! I now have to wait 2 more whole months of mood swings until i can have another appointment with him hes refused to actually screen me for adhd too and says its bc im An Artist type that im not able to sit down and draw anything since last fall like i fucking hate him and he never gets my name or pronouns right and i cant go see a new psych bc of all the closures and i dont wanna call my gyn bc he said if things get worse i need to have a pelvic ultrasound done again and i cant do it!!! I fucking cant do it it hurts too much im too traumatized from depoprovera and mirena that i cant even touch myself without extreme dysphoria and fear that im going to cramp Its killing me that as someone who was so personally sexual to completely be traumatized from the road to an endometriosis diagnosis that i can no longer masturbate or even talk about sex without anxiety and being trans on top of it hurts even more Next gyn appt is my last injection of lupron and im really gonna push to plan for a partial hysterectomy (i only had endo cysts on the back of my uterus but it was 100% confirmed with surgery and biopsy) so i hope it will help so i can stop taking all these fucking hormonal medications like Before being diagnosed i was really planning on going on testosterone but now im too scared because i feel like it would really fuck up my health problems more - mentally and physically Ive given up on passing and am trying to focus on body acceptance especially now that ove had rapid weight gain that isnt being addressed by any of ky doctors i bring it up to God im just trying to vent here but seriously Do not take the diagnosis of endometriosis lightly its super serious to go forth with any treatments and you really have to commit to long term treatments and its a gamble either way For me not starting any treatments was unacceptable i needed help with extreme monthly periods and all forms of birth control ive tried exacerbated symptoms and never stopped bleeding - i literally cannot personally recommend any form of medical birth control bc every one has fucked me over, many different pills at different points in my life, shot (depoprovera gave me debilitating cramps and i bled non stop all 3 months which started this whole journey to diagnosis), iud (iud was the worst i had to go to the er bc the gyn refused to give me pain meds and i was screaming in pain a few hours later unBle to move or think - i really cannot stress enough how painful and long insertion is like it was the longest 5-10 minutes of my life crying while it felt like a knife going through me) I really dont want that ultrasound tho ffs i had to get the first one done while i was in full force cramps during my depoprovera shot and the pelvic ultrasound rod is humongous and they dig it around inside you (i already had a painful and hard time trying to have pleasurable penetration even by myself or with partners) and it takes like 40 minutes of jumbling around your insides for them to document every thing like at least at that time i was only like 2 months from my last time jerking off but now its been almost 6 months of me not even thinking about putting more than one finger in to clean myself in the shower like to go right into an huge ultrasound is going to be so painful and anxiety inducing and i cant do it id rather go straight into surgery My biggest phobias have to do with pain around this part of my anatomy i cannot stress enough how long ive wanted a hysterectomy just so i dont have to fear accidentally getting p r e g... like i would literally kms... i would probably be able to handle the pain of cutting off my arm with a rusty knife better than extreme cramping pain like i had with the iud or ultrasound its such a phobia and now its source of trauma for me from everything ive gone through the last 6 months Having to readjust my life goals from doing p o r n as a hobby and wanting to transition and be who i am, to becoming a vegetable and trying to cope with the fact that i cant ever transition how i hoped Everything just really sucks for me right now and i have literally no social life any more, not even online bc im so stressed about my health and my attention is so bad i cant focus on a convo online, my laptop is about at its grave so all i have is a phone and xbox with bare minimum internet speed.. i live in the middle of nowhere and cant get my license bc the person who was guiding me to drive is an essential worker in a hospital so i cant go in their car any more... im just so fucking alone i cant do anything except break my back gardening and then cry about it later bc my fucking meds dont fucking work!!!!!!!!! Oh thats another thing im also dealing with fucking gerd on top of all this and i cant get the proceedure i need done to confirm if i need surgery or not bc the fucking lockdown!!!! So im stuck taking pantoprazole (been trying similar meds since march 2019 and its currently june 2020!!!!!!) I just want to eat tomatoes and chocolate again it fucking kills me if i dont take pantoprazole i will lose my voice and have such a sore throat and ears from the stomach acid and i know im gonna have to stop it for 2 weeks for one of the tests i need done and its going to be literal hell like it feels worse than strep throat ill probably do the thing where i start choking and coughing at night bc it gets so bad Im a fucking mess like why couldnt all of this happen one at a time I really want to get my belly pierced again bc i feel so naked without it but i cant bc i probably will be having 2 surgeries once covid blows over (if it ever does) Sorry for taking up so much dash space im just really hurting and need some outlet bc therapy isnt helping rn

#personal /#vent #long post #endometriosis #mental illness #menstruation #tmi #i need to stop crying but i cant lmaO #fuck endometriosis #literally a life ruiner #like i was already having a hard time before it but now i have zero hope for the future

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cnc-hoebayb · 6 years

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So baby let my heartbeat be, the rhythm that puts you to sleep...

Wrote half of this in like a drunken rage the other night to vent, so don’t feel obligated to read lol i just need to get it off my chest..

Shoutout to my girls for being there for me while I’ve been going through it @imabasicqueen @la-saffron @quisieracnco ily

Also i love all you guys too

Bodies pass by like speeding cars. Your eyes dart along the scenery, trying desperately to focus on something- anything to keep you grounded at the moment. Your legs feel weak and wobbly and it seems like you could collapse at any given time.

The alcohol in your system only assists the intensity and everything is hectic. You wanna cry and scream and sleep, but your body can’t process. But it is taking in one thing. It’s a hand at your shoulder, the grip and familiarity snaps you back. “Hey..” the sound buzzes through your foggy mind and maybe you’re ignoring everything entirely, but you barely hear it until the voice matches with the face.

“Hey, you good?” Joel locks eyes with you, sensing immediately the distraught within. No words come out of you, there’s almost no energy to even want to speak. “What happened dude, what’s wrong,” he pries at you, focusing your glance up to him every time you tried to look away. His insistence breaks you, looking up at him with so much embarrassment and tears filling your eyes

“Whoa whoa, you’re okay.” He comforts in an instant, already wrapping his arms around your wobbly intoxicated body, and leading you out the crowded party. “Let’s go.” He drapes his jacket over your body and helps buckle you in the passenger seat. Tears drop onto your lap, a slow, quiet sob working up in your system. Joel already knows.

“Was it... Alejandro?...” he questions hesitantly from behind the wheel. Your heart skips a beat at the pain, still fresh and raw. The sobbing grows a little too much and you shake your head. “I’m such an idiot, Joel I’m sorry. I wasted your time,” the image of the man that seduced you danced in your head. You see yourself wrapped in his arms as you and Joel entered the party. It fades and you realize Joel’s talking.

“You didn’t deserve that,” he says. “I’m not mad, you didn’t waste my time at all.” He reaches over to pat your leg soothingly, radiating that brotherly protection he always had. “I’m glad i was there-“ he continues and before you know it, you’re at the hotel. “I knew i couldn’t trust him.” That sentence hits you and if it were possible to cry any harder, you’d be doing it by now.

The walk up to your hotel room is a blur, a mix of tears and makeup slide down your cheeks as Joel guides you inside. He sits you on the bed and talks you through it, but it’s going nowhere. Sobs grow more into anger- tears drying slightly and your tone of voice more threatening. “FucK hIM” you almost growl, and it sets Joel back a little.

“He used me this whole time,” you start to yell and your fists clench into tight balls. “T/N calm down it’s ok,” he desperately attempts to relax you to no success. He gets up and walks to the door with intent. “Gimme a minute i know who you need,” he zooms out and you grab a pillow with fury, screaming into the plush material. The night flashes back to you again.

This time it’s his hand on your waist, lips on your ear as he’s pouring you yet another drink. You giggle and he urges you to drink. “Be right back, baby girl. Wait for me k...” his voice rings in your ears and there’s so much more anger.

You throw the pillow across the room and slam your back onto the bed, hands buried in your face. Someone enters the room cautiously, and without thinking you lash out. “GeT OUT” you dart up and grab another pillow almost as to attack, but his strong tattooed hand grabs your wrist. “Richard, let me go!” You claw at his fingers and start moving away from him.

“Tranquila, whats wrong luv” his strong brow furrows in all seriousness, concern turning into something more. Your face is bright red with rage, your hair a tangled mess from running your frustrated hands through it over and over. Richard grabs your wrists and notices your still clenched fists. “Aight, i can see you’re goin through something. You need to talk it out?” Your jaw tightens and there’s nothing more you want than to vent- no not vent, yell.

“I’m just so angry,” your shaky voice starts up again, an underlying wave of tears ready to pour. “Ok then scream.” He says and you’re caught off guard. “I know what it’s like, and i know sometimes all you need is to scream and hit something and just let it out.” He grabs another pillow from behind you and places it in front of his chest like a target.

“So go at it,” he motions for you to hit the pillow in front of him and gives you a look that shows he’s there.

You hit the cushion softly the first time, testing it out with little sniffles. “I wasted so much time,” you start to let out, hitting the pillow again. “He was using me,” Richard pushes the pillow into your next blow, bouncing your force off of it. “How could i not know?” Your fists work faster and sloppily.

“He got me wasted so i couldn’t even notice,” angry tears well up unintentionally, all emotions being thrown on the table. You see Richards face harden at that comment and you keep going. “What were his intentions? Why would he make such an effort just to screw me over like this??” Your hands droop, throat a bit sore from the yelling already and Richard drops the cushion.

“He played me so hard, Richard. I feel so disgusting.” The topic feels too embarrassing, but the words keep flowing. “He told me things he knew would pull me in more. I can still feel his touch and it makes me want to jump out of my skin..” Thats all it takes. In a second, he’s jumping off the bed, his shoulders puffed up and face full of the same anger you had.

“That fucker,” he pulls out his phone and is already planning his fastest route to end this dude. “Can’t just treat you like that,” you pounce up to calm him now, knowing Richard was a man of action. “I swear to god he’ll never touch you again- I’m gonna make him wish he never laid a hand on you.” You wrap your arms around him, calming him now turning into what you needed the most at the moment.

“Richard it’s fine,” he drops his phone and chills out, letting your arms tighten around his waist. “It’s not, tho. No man should be allowed to do this scum shit” he engulfs you in a tight embrace, letting you bury your wet face in his warm chest for what feels like forever. He pulls away and kisses your forehead. “Don’t let anyone let you feel like you’re worth less than what you are..”

“Because you’rs so important to me, and if anything happened to you, I’d have to fight a homie on sight,” you laugh and sit back down on the messy bed. “I think maybe you need time to calm down now, Richuki”, the sheets and beneath you are ruffled from your angry fit, and you smooth them over with your hands. “Maybe you’re right.” He says and shakes off his frustration. “Hang tight luv I’ll be back”

He closes the door behind him, leaving you alone once again in the big hotel room. You lay on your side, fidgeting with the strings on your hoodie. A moment passes and the door opens followed by a little knock. Not wanting to lift your head up, you mutter out a little “hey..” and continue to stare absent mindedly in the distance. It was probably just Richard done cooling off.

A body sits at the foot of the bed, tickling your foot as it hung off the side. Not Richard. “Erick, qué haces papi? Why you here,” without looking at him you talk, not wanting him to see you looking like a mess. “Thought you’d need a mood lightener,” he says innocently and you almost feel bad for being so distraught right now. He doesn’t need to deal with this, he’s just a kid still. “Estoy bien, go back to your room Erick.”

“No,” he argues and you should’ve expected that, he was a persistent one. “No necesitas decirme nada, solo quiero estar contigo.” It’s silent as you don’t have the energy to argue back. Just laying there, Erick by your side quiet. But It doesn’t last long before he finally starts talking. Reminding you of the time you both scared Chris in the middle of the night by hiding in the kitchen pantry. Your heart feels light at the memory, that good point in your life, the people...

Little drops of salty tears slow and you wipe the last few with your sleeve to laugh with him. “He almost peed himself,” you finally pitch in to the story breaking your silence. “Sientes mejor?” He questions and lays next to you. You nod solemnly, not lying, but not telling the entire truth either. “Thank you Erick,” he grabs your hand in his and squeezes. “No sé que está pasando...pero estoy aqui para ti. Por siempre ok” he looks you dead in the eyes and you see the sincerity.

“Now go shower, you look pretty rough” he jokes and you punch his arm as he hops off the bed. Leaving you back to square one with a slightly lighter mood than before. The door closes and deciding to take his advice and shower off the night, you make your way into the bathroom. The hot water scorches tender skin and the tension starts to break down. Your mind drifts on and off about the night, invasive thoughts digging their way in one by one.

The ghost of his fingertips brush your skin and you want to wipe yourself clean of him. The images that manifest takw over, and you rush out of the shower in attempt to outrun them. With soaking hair and loose towel draped around you, you step out into the other room once again and are greeted with a soft smile. “Im guessing you’re all taking shifts with me now?” You joke and the big teddy bear in front of you smiles nervously. “Kinda yea,” his eyes dart away at the sight of you in just a towel and you act quick.

“Sorry I didn’t know you’d come out undressed,” he says shyly and you grab your robe. You wrap yourself in the thick material, throwing on a quick pair of shorts underneath. “Okay Zabdi, coast is clear.” He looks back up cautiously as you sit next to him, noticing the small ukulele in his grips. “Musical therapy,” he shrugs and you lay your head on his shoulder. “Can you play-“ he cuts you off and hands over the small instrument. “Nonono, you’re playing. It’ll distract you, i know how in the element you get when you play.”

Part of you wants to hesitate, but the moment fingers hit the strings something takes off in you. The sound rings in your bones and you’re lost in the strumming pattern, closing your eyes and letting it take over completely. The world fades away and the moment your eyes flutter open, it feels different. “That was beautiful,” Zabdi comments at the improv work and adds a signature compliment like always, “just like you.”

You don’t wanna protest but it hits you like a train. “Don’t call me that.” The wooden figure slips from your arms onto the bed, all insecurity flooding back. He’s shocked and confused, not sure how to react. “Now im not sure all that happened tonight. All i know is what Richard was heated about, and what Joel won’t tell, but...” he shakes his head and runs fingers through his hair stressed. “I don’t like what it’s doing to you.”

A pout falls over your face, not sure if it’s ready to cry or not. “I’m just not beautiful Zabdiel okay.” You wanna tell him so bad about it all, to tell him how much it hurts and how desperately you believed in someone’s lies. Because he’d know exactly what to say. He’d hug you tightly and never let go, tell you that that boy was never worth it. And that everything would be ok. But it’s not for him, and only small details come out. “I see all these girls who are so much better than me in every way. They’re beautiful and deserve the world and all the love they can have....”

His expression drops- shocked to see you in such a vulnerable state. “That’s just not me Zabdi. And i don’t know why, but i just can’t have the same.” He watches and roams his mind for something to say. You don’t want him to feel like he needs to pitch in, but that’s just the way he was.

“No me digas cosas así,” is the first thing out of his mouth. “You have just the same right as those other girls to have the world and so much more. You just can’t see it.” He’s scolding you, and it’s so odd to see this side of him. “You are beautiful and there’s nothing and nobody- especialmente un pendejo como Alejandro that should make you feel any different.” You cringe at the mention of his name and look away. “Mira, T/N. You’re the most beautiful person i know, inside and out,” He wipes a stray tear away.

“And this dude doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of defeating you. He’s not what’s going to bring you down-“ your heads snap up as the door opens one last time suddenly. A tall figure peeks in and your heart flips for the millionth time. “Chris,” your voice waivers and Zabdiel stands up. “Can I?” Chris pats Zabdi on the shoulder and gestures towards you. No doubt in his mind that he was leaving you in the best care. He ends it there, and with a solemn nod, Zabdiel gives you a strong hug and says one more thing before stepping out. “See you tomorrow- don’t forget anything that i told you.”

Chris waits for the door to close behind him and locks it, walking back over to you slowly. You shiver in your place, from both nerves and emotions, but also the slight breeze that came through once the door shut. “Take this,” he jumps into action, removing his big tour hoodie from his body and tossing it over. He looks away as you throw it on, giving him a little “ok” to turn around once you were finally fully dressed. You push back your damp hair into the hood and bundle up in a tight seated ball.

He sits next to you and before anything is said, he pulls you into his arms. He squeezes with all his strength, letting you fall apart one last time beneath him. His hand was firm behind your head, brushing your hair as you pushed further into his chest. “Chris i feel so stupid,” you admit and he shushes you like you would a baby, patting your back and whispering “it’s ok, you’re ok.”

“But im not,” and for the first time tonight it’s all on the table. “I was naive. I let him use me, let myself believe i was special, that i was lovable.” He brings you out of his chest, holding either side of your shoulders and watched into what felt like your soul as you pour it out. “I was there, and he was holding me, wooing me with lies. He called me his- told me i was worth something. And i bought it.” His fingers brushed by your cheeks and wiped away wetness there.

“I watched him do it all too. Because he kissed me. He kissed me and not even a second after he walked to her- to all of them. Feeding off their attention, lost in their beauty. He left me vulnerable and had no ounce of worry either. Not even when his friend started getting touchy- forceful.” You swallow your embarrassment of retelling the events and finish. “He had already gotten what he wanted from me so long ago. So why did he make such an effort for me to be there tonight??? Was it because i was his pawn? To flaunt me, kiss and touch me to make the others jealous. Or was i the last resort? For him to get me trashed and save me for latwr when all his other girls didn’t follow through.”

His eyes were sad, understanding and taking in all the details. “I could’ve been really hurt. But he didn’t even care. Joel was my savior tonight, if he hadn’t been there to see it all and bring me home... i don’t know what would’ve happened.” Chris sighs heavily and his look is the same amount of distraught as you. “I can’t think about that.” He growls with the same intensity Richard had earlier. “I literally can’t afford to think of that. I don’t know what I’d do if something were to happen to you and i could’ve stopped it.”

“But thats not your fault,” you add on. “I was so dumb to not tell you about tonight. I knew you never trusted him from the beginning and i felt beyond guilty.” You look down at your hands in shame. “I’m such a screw up, and I’m so sorry Chris. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m so unlovable...” his hands grab your face and focus your attention on him. “Your decisions and mistakes don’t define you, amor. The point is that you’re safe, and you’re here with me right now.” Thumbs brush over your features and instead of that sad look that worried you earlier, he’s smiling.

“And none of that is true,” he bites his lip habitually. “Because i love you. I love you more than you could ever even imagine.” Your mind wants you to believe it��s a lie, but you know Chris, and somehow this is real. “And this shit is killing me to even watch, if i didn’t know any better I’d already be up and kicking this dudes ass for ever touching you.” He laughs through his seriousness and you reciprocate. “Yea, you and everyone else too,” you add on referring to previous reactions from the boys.

“You think you’re not worth anything, but it’s not true. To me you’re everything. I see you and my world lights up, no matter what.” It’s a confession, but it’s not asking for anything in return. He knows you’re hurt and wouldn’t want to take advantage of it. It’s what you need to hear, though. “This will all pass. You never have to speak to that guy again, shit I’ll never give him the chance. You’re stronger than you think, and you’re smart.” You sniffle up the last of your emotions and stare up at him.

“And after it all passes I’m here,” he says. “And I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes.” You crash into his arms once again, every feeling at an all time high. “I love you too, Chris.” He lets out a breath of relief at that statement and hugs tighter. Your exhausted body droops in his grasp and he lets go, leaning up against the bed frame as you lay down with your head in his lap. “Please stay-“ you whisper and he rubs circles on your back.

“Leaving was never in my brain. I’m here for as long as you need me.” You close your eyes and he reaches for something across the bed. Zabdiel must have left his ukulele for you, because the sudden soft noise of plucking strings radiates through the room. He strums up a slow tune and you recognize it from the first chord- your favorite.

He hums along quietly and you feel yourself dozing off. The pain eases and it feels like they might’ve all saved you from spiraling any further down. It didn’t have to be instantly, or even completely, but you knew you were going to be fine. It wasn’t for yourself any more either, now it was for them too. You weren’t ready to give up on them yet, and you’re damn right they were not gonna give up on you any time soon.

#hey guys ily all #a lil dramatic but #if you EVER need someone to talk to pls hmu #and im no expert obvio #but if ur havin boy troubles and its scaring u PLEASE say something #im here for u guys

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fireeaglespirit · 6 years

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@fireeaglespirit @viviane-lefay i do worry sometimes with the stories I write if things might be too much for you. To be fair I dont think in any fanfic Ive ever written anything too explicit but now Im so conscious of other people’s viewpoints and being inclusive that it is a concern. Ultimately I write what I want to/need to but I am aware it might not be for all tastes hence always trying to follow ratings etc.

Replying here so it doesn’t cause any problems with OP, etc..

Ohh. I’m sorry if this worried you.. tbh this was very random and I wasn’t even thinking about fiction when I rb this. This one reminded me of a few times I went out with friends and colleagues and I just felt starkly asexual, lmao

About my tolerance regarding sex and explicitly in fiction, I’ll be honest with you…

There’s hardly anything I could say I wouldn’t read about. I just don’t feel ‘triggers’ or anything of the sort, no hard feelings when it gets to fiction and I value your will to be conscious of other viewpoints but its practically impossible to cater to all tastes like you said, so don’t worry about it much… there’s always someone out there who will feel offended and others who will fiercely love it.

As for myself, I’m very tolerant to sexual content in fiction, idk? I don’t seek it out particularly but its not a deal breaker either.

I know some asexual people are less tolerant, I usually just get a ‘meh’ feeling whenever those subjects are touched in much detail, idk some works do get nasty and bothersome because of much detail involving sexual practices so I just give up on them or put them aside when they bring me no joy but I gladly consume material with sex on it as long as I like some aspects of it. Also, I’m good at ignoring or glossing over things I don’t like in fiction… when I read explicit scenes with intercourse it does nothing to me and my eyes focuses on the sentences I loved such as regarding the feelings between the characters and subtle interactions instead of the physical/carnal aspects of it, and this makes it all worthy it.

Even so, some works might become overwhelmingly depressive or repulsive so I might put them aside even if I enjoyed an aspect of it or I might just skip through them and this happened recently to a series of fantasy books I tried to read which were actually really good but they were so overwhelmingly and unnecessarily dark and had an horrid oppressive atmosphere towards women an sex so I just felt no joy reading them? Its not like I was traumatized by its tone but it felt like a chore and I couldn’t care about it further and no character inspired me whatsoever that the world could change for the better, so I dropped them.

But its not like I’m judging it, I just feel weirded out to some things and I just imagine the kind of mind that takes upon themselves the chore to write a whole series of book which has nothing but suffering and misery in them, especially concerning women, lol. We already had this shit in history and still have in some places in the world so I kinda feel like its not interesting for me to read about it in a fictional setting, especially if I don’t feel like the writer is going to challenge the setting.

But I’m aware most people are much more sensitive… these things can be horrid for those who are more sensitive, and perhaps my own asexuality protects me from feeling it fully as I don’t even think of myself as a being capable of partaking in this (weird, I know), so I have problem even projecting.

But I did felt really strongly for the way women were oppressed absurdly and had their agency completely obliterated, so that sparked a sort of empathy or kinship in me which made progress in such book a chore…

You got my point and this just illustrates a bit my relationship to fiction and things that irk me since you were interested in my opinion… I have another example of fantasy book with lots of sex in it:

I read asoiaf even thought its full of sexual stuff but I don’t feel joy at these parts, yet the work is so good on other themes that I ignore it for the most part… but even so, recently I’ve read F&B and it was kinda overwhelming on the sexist aspect with myriads of female characters turned into child brides and raped and dying at their childbirth repeatedly it just got very tiresome and repetitive near the end, because there where almost no counterpoints to it, unlike in the main series where the situation is dire for women but we have characters challenging it more often and idk. F&B just lacked on that front.

So, this shows a bit my sensitivity towards sex is more related to sexism and the feeling that women are confined to their reproductive aspects: motherhood, childbearing, marriage, sensuality, etc.. I don’t have a problem with sexual intercourse per se as you can see, but that’s from my unique point of view and I know some asexuals are more repulsed towards it, but you asked my opinion…

So, if its consensual sex: its not my cup of tea but I don’t feel like its a deal breaker…

Just to give you a positive sex example: when I see an OTP of mine getting to the point of having sex I think its pretty sweet, like when Jon and Dany consummated their love on that boat… I was happy for them, for all that it means, the symbolism between the union of ice and fire and just two characters which I love dearly, finding happiness and comfort in each other. What’s not to love about it??

This is a rare stance I can say I saw a pair I ship get to that point xD

I love shipping as you know, but its more about the psychological aspects and potential for character development and even when I’m reading fanfic about my OTPs I enjoy more the angst and symbolism than the ‘hot’ parts which usually just makes me go ‘meh’ (again).

So this makes me say: when sex is the focus of works I could feel like I’m too asexual for this, even if it regards an OTP, it just doesn’t have a very exciting effect on me or I’m not explicitly interested in this part of a relationship, when so many other things caught my eye… sometimes subtle interactions and dialogue and and gentle approximation (touches, caresses, kissing, etc..) is so much more exciting for me to read about than the ‘thing’ itself, lol.

To sum it up: when its there just for p*rn or even worse, shock value it just makes me go ‘meh’ or ‘ugh’ or ‘uhh why am I even reading this?’

This reminds me of Vivi’s take on the ‘hiero gamos’, in this case I just say I might even enjoy the theme as long as the scenes involving sex are meaningful and passionate and the aspect I value the most about them are sublime and platonic instead of carnal but I’m aware the carnal aspects are very important for the characters and the audience so I also worry when I get to show my stories people will think they lack sexual content ^^ I get you.

Now that you know my feelings towards sex in fiction, to a broader sense I just wanted to say..

There’s no way to guess people’s sensitives but it doesn’t mean you need to walk on eggshells afraid to trigger people all the time, hell no! I’m all for freedom of creation. At least around me there are no metaphorical ‘eggshells’.

Everyone has their own set of opinions which makes them unique, not just me, I mean… even so I will let my snowflake syndrome show but I’m quite peculiar if you could say, so I sort of grew a strong ‘carapace’ towards the world as I deal with people with completely different views and values on a daily basis which might make me have inflamed political opinions while at the same time, I’m very flexible and forgiving when it comes to fiction in general.

I don’t expect much of the population to be like this so I’m also self conscious when it gets to writing my own stuff because I know people can feel very strongly about it and you’ve seen the way fandom reacts to minor things and bash creators when they perceive flaws in their work… I’m just not a judgmental person, its not in my nature. I just ignore things in fiction if I don’t like and I became even more relaxed over time in regards to this all, lol I nearly reached a ‘nirvana’ as I don’t even feel strongly negative feelings in regard to this.

Snarky and bitter comments from time to time? Yes… but no hard feelings. RL needs my hatred, lol so I don’t have it to spare with fiction any longer.

Anyway, on an unrelated sub note… as you might have noticed, I don’t feel comfortable about current fandom trends and specially policing, and with reason as this gets very serious and quick with literally ‘wave chain reactions’ of hatred sparked apparently from nowhere. I hope people could create more freely instead of the political correct police and restraining of creativity we have now. It was good for a while and I’m all for diversity and change in status quo (for the better), but I think this has gone too far and I perceive a lot of rigidity in fiction right now due to fear of fandom backlash we have creators afraid to make their thing and afraid it isn’t ‘inclusive or progressive’ enough… so they bend themselves endlessly until fandom ‘approves’ them, but even so someone is bound to scream and say the work is offensive and the cycle of hatred is restarted.

I know this reply was like a huge egocentric monologue and I strained with non related issues at the end, but you asked my thought on this so I tried to convey it with detail.. including things related to the perception we have concerning fictional themes and I just kinda had to vent at some parts of it.

etc…. This doesn’t mean I forbid judgment from others or criticism or that I forbid people from harshly criticizing works of fiction, just that sometimes it gets more harmful than beneficial and scare people off, and I felt like saying that.

Anyway,,, just want to say nonetheless I find it very sweet and considerate that you are taking different opinions in mind while writing, but you don’t need to worry at least from my part, and I don’t think you ever got even close to being explicit in your writings so there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.

#beyond-far-horizons

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