#im spiralling but im just so tired part of my just wants to spiral

[fexicoded]

.

[mieczyhale]

one of the guys that runs a reaction channel i've been watching for ages just announced that they're ending the channel next year bc he got a job offer and he's getting married and he's thinking about his family and his future and like...

my son in christ you are 21

i literally want to fucking die

[ankhisms]

every day i am fighting for my life against myself in my brain

[reddiamondyeet]

.

[nicodaws]

.

[snowyquokka]

HOME

jeongin x fem reader

cw: angst (😈), breakup, kissing, swearing, mutual pining, mentions of cheating, kinda toxic/asshole seungmin (FORGIVE ME), not proof read bc why tf would i do that (im too lazy so my apologies if some of it doesn’t make sense lmfao-)

wc: 3.1k

a.n - so this is not how it was originally supposed to be 😭 it started as a seungmin fic but spiraled into whatever monstrosity this is lmao. everyone thank @solisyeah for the request ily. anywho i hope it’s good <3

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

Seungmin furrows his brows as he inspects the photo on his screen. A photo of you with another guy, in his lap with your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

Just like you do with Seungmin.

On the very couch he’s sitting on.

At first he thought it was edited, because there’s no way you’d cheat on him, right? But as he took a closer look he just knew it was real.

He was tired, sore, and downright miserable from a rough day at the studio; he had to take way too many breaks for his liking and this picture was just the thing he needed to send him right off the deep end.

He shot up from his spot on the couch so fast it made his head spin, but that didn’t deter him from storming into your bedroom where you were sitting on the bed, aimlessly scrolling through your phone. Once you see his face you can automatically sense something’s wrong.

“Seung?” You tilt your head as you watch him take your apartment key off of his key ring before placing it on your dresser with a clink.

“Seungmin what are you doing?” You jump off of your bed as he slides his shoes on. He runs his fingers through his hair with a frustrated huff.

“I don’t- I think we just need a break. I need a break.” These words were the last thing you imagined to ever come out of his mouth, in this context especially. Or lack there of.

“Wha- why?” Your eyes glaze over with unshed tears that threaten to spill at any given moment. You don’t want to cry in front of him, you’ve always hated having your raw emotions on display like that, especially in such a powerless situation. “Seungmin, talk to me. What the fuck is going on?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. I’m not stupid.” Seungmin shakes his head “Did you really think you could hide it from me?”

“Hide what, Seungmin?”

“You should’ve just fucking left me. Spared my feelings, maybe. But I guess you’re just too selfish for that.”

Without another word he rushes out of the room, leaving you in shambles with nothing else to do but slide to the floor, curl into yourself and let the sobs take over your body.

Seungmin can hear you crying before he even walks out of the front door, causing his heart to clench in his chest and his gut to twist. Standing with his hand just brushing the door handle, he has to physically force himself to press on, to let you go, to accept his reality. The door slams shut behind him and the noise only pushes you further towards the realization that this is actually happening. You aren’t hallucinating, this isn’t some fucked up fever dream or an even more fucked up prank.

You just wish you knew why. No matter how much you try to put the pieces together, you’re always missing something. You can’t think of anything that could’ve set him off. Everything was perfectly normal less than an hour ago, yet all it took was five minutes to trigger the downward spiral of what feels like the end of the world- the end of your world.

-

“What’re you doing back here?” Jeongin slides next to Seungmin - who is still eyeing up the picture on his screen - on the floor. Jeongin nods towards the phone, “What’s that?”

Seungmin huffs and leans his head against the wall behind him, “I honestly don’t fucking know, I don’t even really want to know, actually.”

Jeongin reaches for the phone, pulling it out of Seungmin’s grasp. His lips part in a silent ‘oh’ as he inspects the photo. He’s assuming Seungmin hadn’t even given you a chance to explain solely based on his reaction, in typical Seungmin fashion. Jeongin turns his body to face the other, his face set in an almost disappointed expression.

“I’m going to say this with the utmost respect and I need you to not cause me any bodily harm-” Jeongin sighs before continuing, “You’re a dumbass. Like the dumbest dumbass I think I’ve ever seen. Like paboracha level dumbass. I’m talking-”

“Are you done?” Seungmin groans and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Are you done? God- you just fucked yourself over. If I were you I’d start praying that she’ll still take you back after all this crazy shit.”

“How did I fuck myself oven when she’s the one cheating? Or am I supposed to just forget about that and take the blame for it all like usual? She brought another guy into the same place I spend almost all my time at, and probably fucked hi-” Jeongin slaps his hand over Seungmin’s mouth, effectively silencing him before he could carry on with his bullshit.

“Hyung. Shut up.” The maknae slowly pulls his hand away as Seungmin’s eyebrows shoot upward. “Look I get it, you’re tired, you’re upset, you’re angry bu-”

“Can you fucking blame me? I can’t unsee it. I mean, you see how comfortable she looked with him.” he clenches his fists.

“Will you keep your mouth closed already? You’re killing me here, got a massive migraine now.” Jeongin groans and rubs his temples as he speaks “That picture was taken over a year ago. Before you even knew she existed, hyung. Besides, I know her better than anyone ever will, other than you obviously, which is why I suggest that you get your ass up and go apologize for being such a dumb fuck. Beg for her forgiveness if you gotta. Maybe get on your knees while you’re at it.” he sighs and stands, holding his hand out to Seungmin before pulling him up.

“How do you know she isn’t lying to you? How do you know she isn’t lying about anything else?” Seungmin finally says.

“Because she loves you too much to do that to you. God, have you always been this dense? You seriously need to wake up and realize how stupid you sound.” Jeongin mocks, prompting Seungmin to glare at him one last time before walking out of the studio. All the while unbeknownst to the younger standing with a frown threatening to pull at the corners of his mouth.

“He’s a fucking idiot if he let’s her go over this,” he mutters begrudgingly while he listens to the soft pur of Seungmin’s car in the distance.

-

Almost a week later you’re still waking up with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. The first thing you notice is Seungmin’s apartment key still sitting on the dresser untouched. Well, it used to be his. You were really hoping that it was all just a shitty nightmare and that you’d still be tucked in his side with his soft snores being the only sound to fill the room even though it’s days.

You realize what had stirred you awake as another knock fills the almost suffocating silence. You’re half tempted to just ignore it, but something in your gut tells you to answer it.

“Oh, uhm- hi Innie.” you wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie. Or Seungmins hoodie, rather.

God you need to pull yourself together. How could you not even realize what you were wearing. Fuck.

“Hey,” Jeongin rocks back on his heels somewhat awkwardly, “Can I come in?”

You nod and mumble a soft ‘of course‘ as you move out of the way for him to slip past the threshold and into your apartment while you take a moment to collect yourself, and to put on the most convincing smile you can possibly muster.

“What’s up?” you find a spot on the couch next to him as he scans the room for a second, looking for any signs of whether or not Seungmin actually showed.

“He’s not here, is he?” Jeongin turns to you with sympathetic eyes, finding your own longing for comfort, seemingly pleading him for some sort of consolation.

“N-no but he’ll probably be back so-”

“He’s not coming back, y/n. If he was, it would’ve been days ago.”

Before you can open your mouth to protest, Jeongin has you pulled into his strong chest and tucks your head under his chin gently. “It’s okay, baby. I got you.” he sighs, rubbing small and slow circles on your back just the way he knows you like. He places a small, chaste kiss on the top of your head because he’s learned over the years that the action relaxes you and makes you feel secure.

Jeongin knows you like the back of his hand. Sometimes he thinks he knows you better than he knows himself. He knows your favorite food, your favorite season, your favorite movie. He knows how much you love to read, having periodically skimmed your shelves for books you may have and promptly buying you ones that you haven’t already buried your nose in.

Most importantly, he knows exactly what to say in order to subside your bad moods (he’s well seasoned in this field), and that sometimes you say things you don’t mean yet he never - and will never - hold that against you.

He knows just how much you loved Seungmin, not even wanting to imagine the amount of absolute heartbreak you’re feeling. Despite all this, he can’t help but feel somewhat relieved. You and Seungmin undoubtedly wouldn’t have worked in the long run and that’s exactly what you desire and deserve: a stable, long term relationship where you’d be taken care of and treated like the absolute goddess that Jeongin thinks you are.

He just wishes you give him a chance to treat you like his- more so than he already does now.

“Thank you, In,” you mumble into his chest.

“You don’t need thank me, baby. You know I’m always here.”

You did know that, you’ve always known that. Jeongin doesn’t let you doubt how much he cares for you, he’ll spend every waking moment reminding you if he has to.

You pull back slightly to look into his eyes. “I always end up burdening you with my problems.” Jeongin’s eyes soften at your apology and all he wants to do is hug and kiss and cuddle you until he thinks he’s convinced you enough of his adoration.

But for now all he can do is settle for words, though he can’t help but think it won’t be enough.

“Baby, please don’t be sorry for that. What kind of best friend would I be if I never listened to your complaints or rants?” Calling himself your best friend took more out of him than it should have and he tries to hide his hesitation. Thankfully you hadn’t noticed.

Hearing Jeongin say this makes you realize that he’s treated you better than any boyfriend you’ve ever had. Seungmin never reassured you like Jeongin does. Actually, now that you think about it, Seungmin didn’t do half of the things Jeongin does, even if it was the bare minimum.

He’s always like this, but why does it feel different now?

That’s just his personality, right? There isn’t any hidden meaning behind his words or gestures. Or the way he’s holding you and speaking to you like you’re the most precious thing he’s ever had contact with. The sudden urge to reach out and cup his face is unreal. You just want to make sure you aren’t hallucinating. You wonder how you managed to find such a perfect person who thinks the world of you just as much as you do them. Someone who loves you just as deeply and truly as you do.

Wait what?

You’ve singlehandedly scared and confused yourself all at once now. Obviously you love him and he does you, but it feels as though you love him in a different way. A special way, one that you don’t think you’ve ever felt for anyone. Not even Seungmin, who you once thought was hands down your soulmate.

What you failed to realize, however, was that your soulmate has been here the whole time, and he’s holding you in his arms like he never wants to let you go.

You cut off your train of thought because he doesn’t want you like that and you’re making assumptions that could get you hurt.

Too late.

Another wave of sadness that has nothing to do with what upset you earlier washes over you.

“Baby? Hey, where’d you go?” Baby. Fucking baby. He’s got to stop calling you that. You want to tell him to stop, so why can’t you open your mouth and form those simple words.

“Mhm, ’m okay.” You can’t even bring yourself to put the tiniest bit of distance between your bodies.

You mentally scream at yourself for sounding so noticeably pathetic. He must think you are how could he not when you’re making it so painfully obvious.

“Don’t hide from me, baby. You know you don’t need to hide anything from me.” How ironic.

“I’m not- I just-” you huff and lean your forehead against Jeongin’s chest. God, when did he get so…buff? Has he always been like this?

He pulls your head back to force your gaze to meet his. “What did I tell you, hm? Talk to me baby. I’m all ears.” His arms encircling your body is the last straw before the world comes crashing down on you.

Tears flood your vision and you aren’t even sure as to why you’re crying this time.

Pathetic and dramatic. Great.

Jeongin immediately thinks he’s overstepped now, he took it too far and made you uncomfortable. He removes his hands from you immediately though the action kills him inside, when in reality you want the exact opposite. You want him to pull you closer, you want your chest flush against his to the point where you can feel his heart beating.

“I’m sorry, Innie. I’m sorry.” You finally climb out of his grasp and step away from him. He follows you and with every step he takes forward you move backward until you collide with the wall.

“Why are you sorry when you didn’t do anything wrong? I don’t want you apologizing to me for no reason. If anyone should be apologizing it’s Seungmin, but it’s his fault and his loss, you know that.” You wish Jeongin would stop being so supportive, it’s making it ten times harder to ignore your surfacing issues.

“That’s not the problem, Jeongin.”

Since when did you call him by his full name?

“Then what is it? Is it me? Please I- I just want to help you.”

Your tears have finally halted and you couldn’t be more thankful. You need to be able to properly look into his eyes.

“You can’t help me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

“Why are you being so difficult all of a sudden?”

“I’m not.” You cross your arms over your chest.

Jeongin blows out a frustrated huff. “Why can’t you tell me? Is it because Seungmin and I are friends becau-”

“I love you.”

“I know you do, which exactly is why you should be talking to me right now instead of bottling it all up-”

“No, Jeongin. I love you. Not in a friend way, not in a platonic way. I want to kiss you and hold you and-” You���ve worked yourself up so much you have cut yourself off in order to calm down.

Jeongin’s mouth stays agape for a solid five seconds before he even processes what you’ve said. “You love me?”

“Is that not what I just said?” Jeongin has to bite back his smile at your remark but quickly frowns again at the expression on your face. You look regretful, like you wish you never spoke. You’re just waiting for his rejection, willing it to come faster so you he’ll leave and you can wallow in self pity by yourself in the comfort of your bed. You disturbed the peace that was your friendship.

“I- the breakup is still fresh and you aren’t thinking straight, baby. Don’t say things you don’t mean.” Jeongin pleads. Is he trying to convince you or himself?

“But I do mean it Jeongin. I really do and I can’t believe it took me this fucking long to figure it out and I wish I’d never caught feelings because this is just a shit show now.”

He goes to speak but you quickly interrupt him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget about it,” you expect him to leave, or to at least move away. But he doesn’t, instead he leans in closer to your ear and whispers in a hushed tone,

“Didn’t I just tell you to stop apologizing, baby?” The way he says ‘baby’ sends shivers down your spine, it’s different than the other times he’s called you that. This time his words actually do have a hidden meaning. His breath ghosts the shell of your ear for a moment before he slowly pulls back to look at you. As if he hasn’t studied your every feature to the point where you’re engraved in his mind.

“You have to promise me that you actually understand what you’re saying and that it isn’t the post breakup neediness talking.” He looks at you sternly and fully expecting a response in words.

You, on the other hand, have absolutely no intention of speaking as you instead grab him by the collar of his hoodie before pressing your lips against his.

Kissing your best friend is much more intimate than you ever expected. He kisses you like it’s not the first time and with more than enough purpose. It starts off aggressive but soon simmers down into a delightfully slow and passionate rhythm and as cliche as it sounds, it’s in this moment that you finally know where you belong, where your home is.

No matter the circumstances, Jeongin always left a space for you in his heart. His subconscious wouldn’t let him fill it with someone else even if he wanted (which he didn’t), forever waiting for you to find the spot with your name written all over it and stay there for as long as you may live.

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

tags: @skzstarnet @godslino @myseungsunglove @seungseung-minmin @azuna-sz @chanyeolsrealwife

[killykstudio]

Melancholia

Miguel O'Hara X Cheated on!Reader

Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5; Part 6;

Warnings: 18+, no minors, angst , cheating , mention of heavy themes as su1c1de, depress1on , paranoia and anx1ety, fluff.

Summary: at your own wedding you discover that your own husband is cheating on you. This leads you in a spiral of anger and desperation , until your husband's best man notices that and decides to take matters into his hands.

;

;

;

Your head was spinning. Your face didn't show any motion and at that point you felt so overwhelmed that everything you felt became a poodle of weight, it was so strong at the start that after you felt numb. Nothing cared. No one cared. Your sister ... Your husband... All of the guests only wanted you to smile, but you couldn't bring yourself to.

You tried

You tried but nothing.

You tried to calm down this feeling by trying to give it a name.

You took deep breaths and laid on the bed of your bedroom as you spread your arms. You were gaining control again. Then everything stopped when you felt the strange frantic of something under the blankets.

It was an underwear...of a woman

Not yours... In your bedroom... In your husband bedroom.

Immediately you felt your breath leaving you, lungs becoming more more small and a weight forming on your chest, in your veins run a pointing feeling , your breath became more erratic , trying to catch as much air possible.

Overwhelmed, you stormed out of your room and , without being careful to not be seen by anyone , you went to the park and started running.

Your run quickly became a walk and your emotions destroyed your brain and senses.

You found a small lake. It was directly from a Monet painting. It enchanted you. Your mind was numb and with your indicex you touched the water. You immediately throw it out, due to its freezing waters.

In that moment your brain started running again

"I feel strange. I don't want to do anything. I always feel tired. I don't have any energy. I think a part of me is broken. I feel like something is pressing my heart. I feel so suffocated. I keep being sad."

Then you emerged your entire hand.

"He found another girl, probably more beautiful, more young , who makes him laugh, cheerful and happy. But I tried to be like this , why he didn't see all my efforts? Does even matter if it's all fake? My love is even real? Maybe I just did it because I'm selfish, he made me feel something different, that's why I got attached?"

Your whole arms were inside the lake. The coolness making your veins boil with hot blood.

"After all it's normal. Everybody wanted something from me: they wanted my smile and my happiness and I couldn't give them anything"

Your face was millimetres from the mirror fo water

"but I tried . I tried I SWEAR I TRIED , WHY IM LIKE THIS?!" WHY ME?! I WANT TO BE THOUGHTLESS AND FEEL LIFE, NOT THIS.

"WHY?!"

"WHY?!"

your eyes are wide open

You couldn't believe it. Someone actually noticed you and helped you.

Miguel

you think

what are you thinking about me now?

How miserable I am? That I'm ungrateful and attention seeker? You came here alone? Someone told you to search for me? Why did you pull me out? You care about me? Or you just did it because it's the right thing to do?

None of this could make past out of your throat.

"ehy! Answer me! Gimme some signs you are okay!"

Worry is all splattered on his face , his browns frowned and his chest rising rapidly.

You stared at his eyes then your attention got caught by the stars in the sky

"Lyla!" He shouts

Your eyes immediately get back to his face. A gold silhouette of a woman appeared on his shoulder.

"Ehy! Don't shout! You aren't a dog, you k-"

"Not now! scan her parameters!"

"what happened to this girl! She is shaking! You did someth-"

"Lyla please!" He begged her disperately

By his voice she understands the importance of the situation and do as he told her. Then she started informing him with medical information: you couldn't understand much of it

"Gracias a Dios" he relaxed after hearing the AI diagnosis

"can you stand up?"

You shake your head weakly. He sighs and takes you on his arm bridal style, starting to head back to the villa. You felt peaceful; your eyes switching to look at him and stars in the dark sky. His warm body against your cold makes you shiver , but with time you start feeling relaxed...almost peaceful. You close your eyes and lay your head in his collarbone. You hear him sighing at your movement.

"Lyla, call an ambulanc-"

scared , you interrupt him by grabbing his jaw and moving his head to you

"please...no" you whisper. Your throat feeling rough from everything that happened

He frowned, before he could answer your words

"I-I don't want to get back to the villa-

"I can't, trust me. I-I ca-can't... physically. I know you think... I'm crazy...but it's stronger than me"

His heart fell in his stomach by hearing you saying this kind of things to yourself

"Your wedding?"

You are going to answer him,but -

"what about your family, your friends, you husban- Okay let's forget about that.

Where should I take you? I mean... You need some medical check! You have to care about you, no one else is gonna do it. Also do you realise what you just did? Why you did it?"

He meets your wide blown eyes, he can't decipher your thoughts: are you scared? Sad? Afraid? Sorry? Or a mix of all of these?

"Okay nevermind, that it's not important. Let's just make a path, okay? I bring you out of here, but first you will let me take care of your medical state, secondly you will search for help and start to take care of you, muñeca entendido? "

Silence falls between you two. Miguel was scared, maybe he was too rough with you, mayb-

"third , you have to teach me Spanish" you say tenderly

"sì, como quieras" it seems to you a docile smile has gathered in the corner of his mouth , but you can't not distinguish it.

He starts walking again , now towards his car. You couldn't bring yourself to look at the stars again , when you had him a few centimetres from your face.

Someone who maybe cared about you despite your attitude... Someone who maybe you cared about...You felt again a red coloured emotion again that you should have felt way before during the ceremony, which already came up rarely during your days , but when it did it , you were completely overwhelmed by it.

He was more beautiful than everything could the nature offers.

Thank you for reading, guys!!!

Part 3!!!

[sleepybug05]

some tips on food fixation and binging urges

hellooo, ive been thinking about compiling some things that have helped me get my mind off of food and overall just writing down some rant -- so here it is!

keep in mind, im not an expert and this is mostly just me babbling. im writing this as a motivation for myself, and it will probably not work for everyone, but if you find any of this stuff helpful -- my pleasure! ★ mindfulness ★

`` first of all -- ive found that that strong-urge-to-binge thing is more of a state, not a feeling. it helps me to treat it as such: a mental state, a spiral, and to come out of that spiral you can:

◌ stop! ◌ breath in, breath out. ground yourself. have that thought of "wait, what am i doing?" in the space between you and the fridge ◌ check in with your body. what position are you in? does something hurt? are you cold? are you tired? overenergized? ◌ check in with your mind. is there any buzz? are you overwhelmed? ◌ if you located the issue (eg. im tired! i want comfort! so food = comfort!) -- great! move on from there to resolving this issue in a more mindful, not-involving-food way (then i should nap, do yoga, just lie on the floor, watch comfort movie) why are we doing that? in my opinon, its very important to train that "what am i doing" moment of conciousness, because through that you can see better why you want to binge. is it a mental thing? how can you cope without food? is it a physical feeling? an effect of restriction? how can you tweak your eating to make it better (imo, fasting does better job at managing binges than plain restriction) you cant just showe thinspo at your face everytime you crave something, after all : ) ★ activities ★ `` make something with your hands! ohh my god! i cant stress it enough, it can help you to not get fixated on thinking about food so much! it can be something easy like drawing, or you can look up something new for yourself `` go on a walk. i know, it can be very tiring to even think about, but t does wonders at distracting you `` yoga. very simple and very effective. or, alternatively `` do nothing at all for a bit. just. lie down, turn off your phone, no sound, no nothing (helps if your binging urge feels overwhelming) ★ other stuff ★

`` if you havent already, try drinking coffee. it really is called an appetite supressant for a reason `` i wasnt the one who told you that, but you can look up some gross stuff involving food.. f*eeding k*ink usually freaks me out on multiple levels for long enough to forget about food `` test yourself and allow yourself to feel bored. put down your phone. watch a really long flm. boredom is a part of our lives, and if you teach yourself to feel it in such small portions without binging youll be so so proud of yourself

tried to keep it all low-energy friendly : ) kind of nervous to post stuff like this -- if somethings not right, please dont come at me hahaha reblogs are very appreciated <33

[romeored]

Ode to notes app catharsis and highway 97

There's a suicide circle on memory lane, right at the intersection of you and me. Warp speed, sweetheart. This is only ending with me first over the finish line or in a full body cast. I don't want it any other way. I hope you wreck your stupid car and I hope he's in the passenger seat when you do. I want to see the look in your eyes when you realize that I'm reaching all the dreams you gave up on and that I look twice as good doing it as you ever would have. I want to see the look in your eyes when you realize that I'm the one who's walking away this time. I want your blood on my hands. I want to dissect you on live TV and point out every single flawed bit of your insides to the entire world. I want you begging for my forgiveness on your knees in the dirt just so i can turn my back on you. Thinking about the future feels like doing 80 in a 25 and im not sure whether I want to hit the gas or the breaks but all that matters is that you won't fucking be there. That part feels like flying.

People say that revenge is a dish best served cold. there hasn't been anything even room temperature between us in a very long time and I can't wait to watch you rot from a distance. You're on the downward spiral and you don't even realize it. The jokes write themselves and you're the biggest fool of all. I am too, but only because i loved you at one point. I guess it's on me for not having enough sense to be wary of snakes. The cracks in the pavement sound like machine gun fire under my tires and every pothole takes me farther away from you. The sidewalk in your neighborhood is scrawled with good intentions and i should have been smart enough to read them the first time I walked up the street. I've learned my lesson. Im a kicked dog, and it was only going to be so long before i bit the hand that fed me. you were never the one holding my leash and I've finally learned when it's time to jump ship. Loyalty is so last season on both of us. Hearts of gold aren't good for much other than being heavy and I already gave mine away one too many times. Rule number one you either do the leaving or get left behind and im enjoying watching you get smaller in my rearview.

I wonder if you realize that you grew up to be everything we used to hate. hope you see a stranger in the mirror.

[kiestrokes]

i like had this thought in the back of my head of like what ateez would be like with an S/O who has a physical illness bcs i actually have one which causes a lot of pain to my bones and i'm like in a constant state of pain and discomfort, been going on for about 12 years HELL YA ✊🏻, if i don't keep up on my meds (currently don't have the proper meds so it only tides me over for a little while-) then im basically fucked so IDK i feel like there isn't a lot of stuff written about this kind of stuff (im a sucker for shit i hardly ever am able to read abt) ALSO IM NOT 100% SURE IF YOUR REQS WERE OPEN BCS I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING POSTED ABT IT SO- YA- if you don't want to write it obviously you don't have to !! no pressure at all lovely

ATEEZ Caring for You: Chronic Illness Edition | SFW

Pairing: ATEEZ x Gender Neutral!Reader/You/Yn Rating: SFW Genre: fluff, slice of life, headcanons, imagines, scenarios. Warnings: chronic illness + immunocompromised talk.

🗝️ Note: Hey atiny anon! You actually asked the right person; I have fibromyalgia combined with a few other annoying chronic illnesses. Because you can't just have one 😓 I hope that you can find a decent fucking doctor and get on the proper medication soon. That's the biggest part of the struggle, finding a physician that will listen and is competent enough. I hope this was enough, I tried to assign each member a caring task that I felt fit them! Has not been beta-ed.

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below. 

Seonghwa 

He’s here to help you prevent all the chronic pain that he can. Booking you massage visits. Trips to the hot springs. All the arnica rubs. Silly little games the two of you play, to keep your mind off the pain and depression spirals. His favorite is seeing who can build their new Lego set the quickest. Hwa is the biggest advocate for you, he would never return a dish at the restaurant when its wrong. But he will fight for you at every appointment, every pharmacy, wherever you need him to. Because he knows you've grown tired of fighting all the time.

Hongjoong

HJ's specialty is flexibility. You have a sudden burst of energy? He’s down to go explore that new pop-up market with you. You’ve come down with a bout of bone numbing pain? That’s cool, you’re getting changed into comfy clothes and piled up on the couch. Swaddled in your heating pad with all the snacks. Where he falls asleep on your shoulder. HJ never gets frustrated with your rapid change in mood or plans. Nothing but the most understanding partner you could ever have asked for, and boy is he so cute and snuggly when dozing on you. Small hands seeking your face for drowsy kisses that soothe your aches just a smidge.

Yunho

The quiet presence, the one who knows what you need before you say it. Passing you tissues, making you a cup of tea and most importantly holding you so that you can cry. Shedding angry tears about how frustrated you are with your own body for betraying you. For feeling weak. For missing out on things. He's gently calming every frayed nerve in your brain. Reassuring you that you're exactly where you need to be in this moment, and he will bring all of the fun to you. And he does, in small, manageable doses.

Yeosang

His way of caring for you is through caring for your outside. All the skin masks, hair treatments, skin softening lotions because if you feel cruddy, at least he can make you feel cute and comfortable. They do heal though, in their own way. The extra moisture of the humidifier and every cream and essence he buffs into your skin helps keep some of the aches away. Subsiding the itchiness of the nerve pain, just a little. And you can’t get over how cute Yeosang looks in each animal themed headband or with his hair tied back into teeny space buns or how nice his hands feel every time they glide over your skin.

San

Where Yunho is quietly attentive, San is passionately attentive. You cry, he cries (while holding you). Quite literally your pain, is his pain and he’s here to be with you through each step. No judgment is ever passed when he has to pick up your extra chores around the house. Because to him, that is the smallest act of service he can perform for you. San is the one who wishes he could take on your pain, that he could fight it and destroy it and it pains him that he cannot. So he will simply have to do everything else.

Mingi

He thrives on making you laugh and smile through tough days, because he understands feeling burdensome. Mingi never wants you to feel that way, he wants to make sure you verbally know that your presence is needed and welcome. His favorite thing is cuddled up in bed with you wrapped in your heated blanket watching shows. You looking so small in his arms, giving him the feeling of protecting something. He reassures you constantly, because he himself seeks constant reassurance. Mingi never tires of this, he will reaffirm every single self deprecating thought with a compliment even on his worst days.

Wooyoung 

He cares for you with his skinship, which is incredibly healing. His happy heartbeat encourages yours. His strong hands make you feel loved and needed. Who would cuddle him if not you? Woo often reminds you, whispering the phrase into your ear as he traces his nails through your hair, or while rhythmically drawing circles on your spine. Making you float into dream land and anchoring you in the moment with him at the same time. Woo also loves making you whatever dish you’re craving, knowing you need energy to fight off fatigue and pain. And cooking is one of his many, many love languages.

Jongho

Needing to hoard all the extra rest you can get; you seek out solace at Jongho’s place for nap time. Jongho has taken notice, he’s also taken inventory as to which blankets of his you prefer, the pillows that keep you asleep the longest, what temperature you prefer the room to be based on what you’re wearing. All your favorite snacks before or after. New blackout curtains. He’s made his place your ultimate nap zone. New heated blankets. Duplicates of your fave lounge wear and socks. And he takes his payment in cuddles. Holding you tightly in his bed or sprawled on the couch. Sometimes he falls asleep himself and flips you onto your back to bury into your side like a full-sized teddy bear.

© COPYRIGHT 2023 by kiestrokes All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.

[etoilesbienne]

honestly thank you so much for talking about this

i have been doing. so bad. it feels like half the fucking server and fandom are pretending like nothing happened and/or the admins that left did so just to pursue other things or whatever and then there was zero aknowledgment of that from q's side

like idk, i personally have other povs as well, but the french + bbh & dapper have contributed So Much and were/are my favorite parts of the server as well, and it just. sucks so much that everyone seems to just be moving on like it didn't mean anything

ywah. like ill be honest where i am rn ive spent the better part of two days crying out of frustration and i keep going on ocd spirals about everything happening because its agitating me to no end. ironically this is probably causing my inability to shut the fuck up but i feel like ive gotten to the point where i just. do not think i care about hearing excuses anymore. im tired of reading about how lumi or shade "never actually cared about the server and want it to burn down." they worked there for Ten Months and More for Free with no recognition. I think they cared a lot about it. im tired of reading about the possible theoretical ways restructuring could happen. i just want something tangible that shows literally any improvement of the original problem (communication) being solved. im tired of people blaming random ass "haters" as the downfall of the project and not the company's own mismanagement. frankly i feel fucking crazy seeing people say that quackity response was directed at anyone except the admins. he would not be making that statement if the admins didn't say anything. i don't want the project to fail but i feel like ive had a slap in the face after sitting and trying to be polite and quiet. what am i supposed to do sit and beg for scraps like a dog? this has turned into a personal post i guess but i sure am not doing great personally. i feel like everyone is gaslighting me constantly about things being better than they are and not acknowledging whats happened for some reason like are me and maybe 15 other people the only people who can see the dead bodies in the middle of the room . i feel quite negative currently is what im realizing

[ittosexual]

𝖏𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖚𝖘𝖞

𝔭𝔩𝔬𝔱 // kamisato ayato is a well sought out man, people throw themselves at him on a daily basis, and yet he's with you. how can you deal with your insecurities when a beautiful, wealthy girl is proposing marriage to him?

𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔰 // mention of arranged marriage, jeaousy, my weak attempt at angst and insecurities, YOU COULD HAVE ANYONE YOU WANT, WHY WOULD YOU WANNA BE WITH ME? IM NOTHING SPECIAL

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ 𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔶 𝔟𝔢𝔩𝔬𝔴 𝔠𝔲𝔱 ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Your beloved soon-to-be husband sat in his office, flipping through paperwork and gently humming to himself. He looked so serene, his skin was soft and his eyes were just piercing enough to hold power. His hair fell over his face perfectly. You admired him so much, his appearance, his persona.

It's no wonder that the piles of paperwork he's looking through contains marriage proposals. Fathers promising their daughters, wealthy women hoping to expand their riches, and even just commoners making anonymous confessions.

You stepped up behind him, rubbing his shoulder gently.

"Darling, what kind of letters have you received today?" You hummed.

"Mm, the usual. Meetings, Yashiro commission business, proposals." He sighed, "Tomorrow I have to meet the head of the Nakamura family."

"What about?" You leaned down to rest your chin in the crook of his neck, reading over his paperwork briefly.

"His..." Ayato hesitated to speak, "His daughter."

You subconsciously paused your breathing itself, you knew what he meant, and the words written before you confirmed it further.

"My daughter's hand in marriage is being offered to you, Mr. Kamisato, for the expansion of our clans and the benefit of us all."

The next day there was a churning in your stomach. You knew he was yours, wholeheartedly, and that these meetings are just out of courtesy. This knowledge didn't rid you of your distaste at the letter every time you saw it.

You knew that arranged marriages like this, proposals and offering someone's hand in marriage, are not built off of attraction or intimate bonds. A proposal like this isn't built upon a relationship, it's built upon a business plan. Your relationship with Ayato was different, it was real. However, none of this soothed the aches in your heart as he put on his coat, ready to leave.

You knew the first daughter of the Nakamura family, she was gorgeous. She was slim and soft, her hair was silky and long, and she always appeared perfect when you passed her in Inazuma City.

They would make a perfect match. They were both wealthy and born into good families, both gorgeous specimens that so happen to be a part of the human race, both mild-mannered and gentle. They would be the perfect couple and it was tearing you apart.

Ayato would enjoy her company, he might like her soft voice and soft features. They would sync up perfectly, their humor, their personalities. Her hair would fall just as perfectly as his and he would be left admiring her as you once did him. Her eyes were soft and fragile and would be the perfect contrast to his gentle yet piercing gaze.

It would be much better for the Kamisato family if he married her rather than you. You were born into a just barely-above-commoner family. You were Ayakas friend, meeting Ayato through her. He courted you for a while before anything was solidified. You brought nothing to the table but love and affection, your wealth would barely be an addition to his. You had no notoriety to the public.

Even your looks might be a bit lacking compared to her.

You felt like the other woman in your own relationship, knowing he was meeting her, and it was all the result of your own thoughts spiraling out of rationality.

Ayato was tired. The meeting was painful to get through, honestly. He never had any intentions of taking that girl's hand, and even if he did the meeting solidified his dislike towards the idea.

Throughout it all, she sat next to her father not speaking, inspecting her nails and rolling her eyes. She appeared to be a perfectly well-mannered good girl, but she certainly was the type to never have faced rejection before. Ayato wasn't sure if "no" was in her vocabulary.

He entertained her father, smiling and nodding. At the end of the meeting, when faced with a decision, he obviously said he was uninterested. The girl's brows furrowed, and she huffed before walking off. Saying something about "wasting her time"...

Still, he didn't regret going. He tied a loose end and kept a bridge unburnt with a polite meeting and kind rejection. He never regretted going until he got home. He never regretted going until he saw the tear stains on your face as you lay asleep in your shared bed. He never regretted going until he heard your coarse voice as you woke up ask him how it went.

You see, the things you thought of her were the things he thought of you. The perfection you saw in her is the perfection he saw in you. Every detail of your appearance is burned into his memory, every note in your laugh, and every crease in your skin.

And that's simply why a ring was fitted to your finger and not hers.

[soosoosoup]

Haaayy can you tell us more about your au where branch finds cooper's egg?

Hiiii!! Thanks for asking! And of course :)

lol turns out I had a lot more thought out. Fair warning, none of this is concrete, this was thought up a while ago and uhhhhh… writing is not my strong suit lol

In this au I had debated whether to make copper a little bit younger, I already hc him as the youngest of the snack pack so idk if its needed lol.

While in the beginning of making his bunker, branch (who’s maybe 7??) would travel farther out into the forest and gather supplies to build when he stumbles on what looks like an egg? Just in time too, ‘cause Coops pops out like in twt, does his little groove, & then proceeds to flop over to nap (being baby is tiring work).

Branch is just ??? cause like what?? Baby? Way out here in the woods?? Why does the baby have 4 legs??? Why is said baby all alone? And that last part makes b pause for a sec bc where’s his family? Did he lose them? Or is it even worse…was he left behind? (He might be projecting a lil).

Cooper and Branch proceed to live where other kids w/o families go. Caretakers try to care for cooper & he is not having it. After all, branch is the first person he’d ever seen, was the first person who’d carried him. He’s imprinted on branch and whole heartedly believes and he is his family. So if C needs to be taken care of B has to be there. It goes on long enough that the caretaker decides it'll just easier if branch helped take care of him; and who knows maybe he'll regain his color being around such a happy little goober.

At first, branch doesn’t realize how much he means to C and assumes his attachment will fade. After all why wouldn’t it when he’s being doted on by warm and cheerful trolls. But nope! Whenever the caretakers aren't taking cooper around the village, Cooper is always following Branch. Around the pod, and through the woods. Branch looks out for him, talks to him, teaches him what he can, and even plays games! I think the fact that branch has been a part of Coopers whole life gives him a sense of obligation perhaps like a big brother?. It's easy to be open to him.

All attempts to foster Cooper are unsuccessful. It's not that Cooper doesn't match the family, it's that he just doesn't want to live with them. Imagine a foster family having the time of their lives singing & playing around & when the time comes Cooper's like 'I had a lot of fun today! Time to go! what?? Stay here? be a part of your family? ...Nope :D

When the time comes that the bunker can feasibly house him, (preteen?) Branch packs up what little he owns, and prepares to leave that night. It's not like the anyone at the orphanage would chase after him. Well, except for one trolling.

It's been years, long enough that their bond is strong, they're brothers in all but name. At least unnamed on branch's side, he kind of refuses to acknowledge it.

Anyway- Branch waits until everyone falls asleep and sneaks out. He doesn't even make it out of the room lol. One foot out the door and a sleepy voice is asking him where he's going. Branch just says he's going to the bunker, that he'll see him soon, it won't be forever you see what im trying to parallel? and it's true. It's not like he's leaving to who knows where. Cooper just nods & yawns out a "bye, see you later". Love me a parallel

Branch lasts an hour or two in the bunker. He's on edge the whole time, racked w/ guilt. Has a little mental spiral until there is just one loud thought of 'what am i doing? there's someone waiting for me' and runs back.

In the joined room, Cooper fell asleep on branch's bed waiting for him. So making sure not to wake him, Branch rests coopers head on his lap. Leaning against the headboard Branch just stares at his vest left at the end of the bed & has a moment of clarity. Like oh, that's why i felt terrible, i left my little brother behind. (Keep in mind that no, he didn’t really do that, but he’s a kid and that whole ‘see you later’ really shook him so he’s making some jumps in logic)(there some projecting happening as well)

So yeah, gained a brother!! yay!!! Cooper beat you to that revelation yeeaarrrss ago lol.

One thing I like about branch being a big bro is this idea that the more he learns about what it means to be one, the less he can understand his brothers. And are they his brothers?? Over the years it’s not looking like it.

[eulchu]

ok guys. let's have a real talk. let's ALL have a real talk and i don't mean just me and my anons . i hope this reaches all of our community even if you think i fucking suck.

fucking october didn't ruin us but i am so worried that this dumb tension just might. this is getting so ridiculous and out of hand -i barely understand what's going on myself. so im gonna need everyone to work together and do a collective reflection exercise.

i am gonna write out a series of points that i need u guys to think about before proceeding in this community:

- active blogs. you're burnt out. you're burnt out and you're so tired of trying to keep this community running that you're denying yourself a moment to feel your own frustrations as your own individual person. i get that . i get being under so much pressure that you can't catch yourself some slack, least you spiral out of control <- this is, however, really damn unhealthy 😭 it's ok to let yourself feel some disappointment!! some anger!! that's fine. it's up to you, however, what you do with it. this brings us to our next point.

- we NEED to acknowledge this if we wanna get better. ifl it's taboo and we're pushing the narrative so hard we're not giving ourselves enough space to breathe. it. is. okay. to. feel. disappointed. over. the. lack. of. dteam. content. i am the first person to shut down any self entilted prick who thinks they can expect something out of them. because they DON'T owe us anything. but truth is we are humans and, accordingly so, feel in consequence of our own expectations. i wanna break this part down in a few points:

it is OKAY to acknowledge that we are disappointed. denying one self's feelings never ended up ok for anyone. it is okay to acknowledge that we are not getting the content we were hoping for.

it is NOT okay to blame the dteam for it. this is where it gets tricky. the dteam are in charge of what type of content they put out. it will never be in our hands. at that point, if you don't like what they're doing. leave. i'm sorry. it's harsh. i'm not trying to be mean about it. i'd understand if you left! it's ok!

- before you leave, though, i want to ask you a question. why do dislike what they're doing so much? seriously, ask yourself that question. is the content that bad, in your eyes? if the answer is yes, i can't help you there. you've grown out of their content. there's no way around it.

- but is it actually bad, or is it just Not What You Expected? In which case, let's talk. Let's put things bluntly:

the dteam have waited years to be together. correct

upon living together, we have discovered that they are not very good at providing content because they put their friendship above content. i'm not sure if anyone had that in their bingo cards - but it's what happened. autumn was really rough on them & they've learnt to exist together off camera. me personally, i think it's sweet.

dteam and traveling: a fall out? :o . no. jesus christ 😭 the fact that this is the new narrative nauseates me. i don't think anyone in their right mind thinks that dteam are less close than they were when they were living apart.

Bringing back our initial point, the failure to meet our expectations can be mentally challenging. it will inevitably make us second guess a lot of associated ideas that we thought were true . if one of our expectations fails to be met, that's a fail in our mental plan. if we were wrong about this, who's to say we are right about anything else?

i'm not sure if there's some sort of denial of feelings here or if people are trying really hard not to think about this possibility because it makes them scared. i am inviting you to take a moment to really think about it and feel the initial dread of the question. it will pass fairly quickly.

the truth is that the dteam is FINE. they're fine, they share a house, they film videos together, and they go on these long ass hiatus when they're together because they would much rather spend uncesored time off-line.

my favorite point: for how parasocial we are, we don't give them nearly enough credit. the dteam are adult men. we have to put faith in their decisions. only they know what they're doing. they know what's best for them. we certainly don't.

- i wanna rescue this last point. their decisions are THEIRS. if we don't put trust in what they're doing, we're already failing the game. that means who they hang out with too. i get not liking someone ok? i get it. i don't like a lot of people either. no one is pointing a gun to any of their heads. if you think that any of them is doing something that you don't see fit you have problems and you need to grow up. it is not our place to dictate their lives and it will never be. that goes for the white-knighting too.

⚠️(this is a completely hypothetical scenario)⚠️

the truth is if tomorrow george decides to go back to the uk, for whatever reason. we would all have to fucking shut it. fan disappointment? yes. acting like george is an awful person for betraying his best friends? you're out of your fucking mind.

dream george and sapnap are grown up people with a strong friendship and communication skills. if you think that george would take the unilateral decision and not tell anyone until the day before you need to seek help. whatever decision the dteam take about their lives it's THEIRS and you need to put some fawking faith in what they're doing. they know what's up.

that goes for the fucking karl problem too okay? i don't like it either. whatever. it's not my place though?? dream isn't a baby who's been abandoned he's a grown ass man who knows what he's doing and if he still considers (if they ALL do) karl his friend that's his decision. if he thinks that karl's friendship management is fine that's his decision. we are not dream's friends nor his fucking therapist.

- the thing about dooming and content. the multishippers: is the dteam all there really is? i firmly believe that we all kove the dteam outside of each other. (mostly tackled in this post)

- dnf and the fandom. jesus christ i can't believe i have to make a point about this. i think it's important to remember that at the end of the day. it's just Not That Serious. it was never meant to be that serious. bringing back the "they're their own people" point, what the Fuck do some people think they're doing 🧍‍♂️

dnf know what they're doing they know the nature of their relationship better than we ever will. if they're just friends it's because they chose to if they . in the biggest plot of the century . come out of this with a s/o it doesn't mean they're cheating on each other, that dream/george was leading anyone on or that they're hurting each other???? are you CRAZY 😭 if they're dating they're dating if they're not they're fucking not but they're. not gonna be sad about it??? they're adult people in an adult relationship they know what tf they're doing. they hold each other's hearts impossibility close to themselves. there's nothing they would ever do that could hurt each other.

to wrap things up: after this reddit worthy post (congrats if you've made it to the end) i have something very important to ask of you guys.

i know it might be unfair but can we all compromise on detoxxing. completely. for like, a week. not posting neg at ALL. we can't enable doomers we can't enable bait anons. neg is only good for one thing: make anxious people paranoid as fuck.

so can we. for like a week. just not post anything /neg at all. can we block the worst of it. the unnecessary dooming. and not acknowledge at ALL. i get it's a huge mental toll on the active blogs - reading so much negativity SUCKS but i do believe that it's a better option than responding and enabling more people to send similar asks.

me personally, i am already saying it here: any dooming will get blocked in my askbox. i won't hate you for it. but this IS a warning that you need to get your shit together if you ever wanna have a chance at speaking in my askbox ever again.

um congrats if you read everything?😭 PLEAAAASE let's all make this place a better place again i know we can do it

U CAN ADD TO THIS POST IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BTW !!!

[propertyofwicked]

never have i ever... | rafe cameron

had a troll pt 2

part 1 here

not my gif<3

warnings - very very slight sexual references if you really squint

rafe could tell you had been distant with him the last week, but he didn’t know why. he imagined it was your brother and his obvious dislike for your relationship, but considering you had been fine after john b had first found out he didn’t understand why it had suddenly become an issue. everytime he asked you what was wrong, you responded with some excuse about just being tired from work. 

you weren’t avoiding him on purpose - well, maybe you were. the anonymous texter was adamant, and you had been drawn into this mess, spiralling slightly and spending every free moment thinking about it. you had been cheated on before, and the sinking feeling that came from being told rafe was with someone else behind your back was all too familiar. as a result you had hidden yourself away from him, always using work as an excuse and hiding in the kitchen if he came into the club. he had begin to give you the space he thought you wanted so the last thing you expected was for him to come crashing through your bedroom window at 3am, waking you up and dragging you out with him and into his car.

he didn’t speak, he just drove the two of you across the island, his hand clutching the steering wheel so hard his veins popped out and were perfectly highlighted by the full moon. 

“rafe are you going to say anything?”

“are you? you haven’t spoken to me in a week.”

“yes i have, i sent you a text earlier?”

“oh sorry “going to work now. talk later” you really have a way with words y/n - does shakespeare know about you?”

“sorry,” you mumble, not sure how to respond.

“no y/n. i don’t want your apologies - i want you to talk to me. have i done something? has john b done something? if he has ill kill h-”

“he hasn’t done anything rafe. i promise. it’s just...” you trail off, not sure how to approach the topic of the anonymous texter, knowing he’d told you to ignore it. luckily, you didn’t have to respond as a text notification filled the silence for you. you turned the phone slightly, careful not to show too much so that rafe couldn’t read it

“oh. i see,” rafe pipes up, sighing loudly as the realisation hits him,” y/n, i told you to ignore it - is this why you’ve been ignoring me all week?” he says, pulling the car to the side of the road and turning to look at you. 

you head dropped slightly, turning away from him in shame. you expected him to shout, or at least get angry and yet his hand reached up to cup your jaw and turn your face to look at his. his jaw was soft, not tense and angry as you had expected - and his eyes looked sad, almost sympathetic.

“let me read the messages,” rafe says, slowly taking the phone from your grasp. he scrolls through the chat, reading the lies this person was spreading about him - he was happy to see that you were still defending him. you had confided in him about being cheated on before, and he soon realised why you had become so distant. locking the phone and placing it on the dashboard, rafe pulls you over to come and sit on his lap so that you were straddling his waist and had no way of avoiding his stare. 

“y/n, i love you,” rafe starts, his voice soft and eyes staring into yours, his hand reaches up to tuck the hair behind your ear and makes itself at home on your jaw, “i promise you none of this is true. when i’m not with you, i’m thinking about you. you can ask top if you want, he’s actually starting to get pissed ‘cause im ‘whipped’ as he puts it. i love you, and i only want to be with you. whoever this is, messaging you, has it out for me, and for us. id never do anything to hurt you. ever.” 

it was nice to hear him be so compassionate, he was always kind and loving but he rarely said it, rafe cameron is not a man who says how he is feeling - he’d much rather show you. a tear slips from your eye, but he quickly wipes it away and presses a kiss to where it had fell. 

“i didn’t believe what they were saying you know, i just couldn’t help but fall into the trap.” 

“i know sweetheart. you don’t have to worry about me. ive got enough scratches on my back to let people know they can’t have me,” he adds, smirking slightly as you hide your face in his shoulder. 

-

you woke up late that morning, the late night adventure with some added fun in the back of rafe’s car had taken it’s toll on your already fatigued body. you get out of bed and head down the hallway, deciding a shower is probably necessary - but murmurs of the pogues in kitchen stop you in your tracks. 

“you’ve done some fucked up shit before john b, but this is a whole new level,” sarah says.

“don’t get me wrong, we all hate rafe for the shit he’s done but y/n has never been happier, especially with everything she’s gone through recently,” jj follows on, “texting her anonymous threatening messages to get her to break up with him is psychotic bro.”

what. 

it was john b? this whole time? had he been sending those texts and waiting to hear your sobs through the thin walls of the chateau? surely not. this was a joke right. without even thinking, you feet had carried you into the kitchen. jj and the rest of the group stood on one side of the table, with john b with his head in his hands - atleast he looks guilty. his head raises at the sound of you walking in and he feigns a smile hoping you hadn’t heard the conversation.

“it was you? this whole time?” you asked, voice laced with venom. he nodded slowly, realising he couldn’t hold the façade any longer. 

“look, y/n im sorr-”

“no, save it. i don’t care,” and with that you turned on your heal, back into your room, where you began to cry. you rang rafe, and he picked up immediately as he always did. you didn’t say anything but he could hear your sobs through the phone, and without a second thought he was in the car coming to pick you up. 

[keitorinrose]

can you tell us about your trolls x su au or tell us the basics of the story?

Sure! There probably won't be a lot of details because there's a lot of things i still need to figure out.

The idea for the au came because i remembered the song drift away and thought "this is so floyd and branch" and then it spiralled from there. None of this is final btw. things can and probably will change because I don't make aus often. 💀 Also don't think too hard about the su part of this au. Im probably only gonna use the basic parts of it and will barely use anything from the show because I'm mostly focusing on the movie of su and not the serie and epilogue.

I currently only have the roles for the main characters so

Branch is Spinel

Floyd is Steven (but he's still the one who makes the promise with branch even though in su that was pink diamond and not steven.)

Clay is Amethyst

Spruce/Bruce is Pearl

And JD is Garnet

I want to add viva, poppy and brandy too but I don't know which characters they would be yet.

So brozone breaks up. JD, spruce and clay leave and before floyd goes he makes the promise with branch, he stays and one day he'll come back for him. Years pass by and floyd still hasn't returned. Branch's colors are becoming duller as the years go by, he starts doubting himself but never fully gives up hope.

Here's where i struggle a bit with the story because i don't have a reason yet why floyd never came back. At some point floyd reunites with the others but idk the reason yet why branch isn't part of that reunion.

Just like in the song drift away i want branch to get a message that shows floyd and the others so that he realises that he's been abandoned and that floyd broke the promise. That's when branch would go grey. (Idk if I'm adding rosiepuff in this au)

So this is when the su plot comes in. Branch comes with the injector. He fights brozone and in the process everyone gets reset except floyd. When they get reset they're back into their roles before brozone broke up. So clay is back to being the funboy, spruce the heartthrob and jd the leader. With branch i think he would act more childlike or innocent? Because im not gonna make an adult act like a baby 💀

So now floyd has to figure out how to turn his brothers back to normal. I think the order of who comes back is gonna be the same as the movie so clay->bruce->branch->JD.

Oh and the others didn't know about the promise. they didn't know that branch stayed in the garden all those years, Floyd never told them.

Have not thought yet how floyd brings them back.

After clay gains his memory back they go back to the injector and try to turn it off when they realise it's harming the land. They make it worse and now the injector is going faster(?) So they realise they NEED branch to get his memory back or else they can't turn it off.

when floyd manages to bring branch's memory back they talk and he's on their side. He removes the injector and everything seems to be going fine. It's then when branch fears he is going to be abandoned again and thinks floyd will reset him again after he removed the injector so they fight. Somewhere during that JD gets his memory back too. I think most of this part from the movie I won't change. So floyd and branch fight one to one. Floyd sings the song "change" maybe? Idk yet. Branch saying that he can't just make everything better just because he sang a song. He tries to continue fighting floyd but he tires himself out so then this scene happens

I am changing the lines though. I think something like "i just want my brothers back." Idk

I think that's all i have at the moment. I'll add more to this post if i think of anything. Most of my ideas for this au was me looking at spinel clips and thinking "oh i can draw that with branch!"

I hope this is readable because I'm writing this during midnight and am NOT good at explaining stuff. 💀

If anyone has ideas i would love to hear it! because im not good at figuring stuff out