#im still dealing with some shit but i want to hang out yknow. have fun?? hopefully l ol.

[thegoldenelite]

Hiii, I'm back for one night, and then I'm back offline for a few more days!!!

[twodimecastle]

fifty bucks & six months.

spencer reid x gender neutral reader new relationship, secret keeping nonsense, 4.5k words, ao3 a/n; turns out i love writing texting fic but tumblr destroys the formatting rip

zero months.

You smile conspiratorially, extending a pinkie towards Spencer and he gives you a skeptical look.

“You know the odds of being found out immediately are-” he starts, but you cut him off.

“Astronomical, I know. I know. But don’t you think it’ll be fun to see how long we can push it?” you wheedle, not caring that your voice sounds more like begging than is strictly dignified because seeing the way Spencer’s nose crinkles in amusement at your heavy handed persuasion is too adorable to pass up. You scoot closer on the couch, tapping the end of his nose with your pinkie finger, letting him catch your hand between his as you continue “I think we’ve got a good shot at hiding it for a little while. It would be like a game.”

Spencer draws your captive hand to his lips, brushing them across your knuckles and watching fondly as you forge ahead in your campaign to persuade him, enjoying the show and the attention too much to tell you he’s already on board. Your eyes are shining with the prospect of the caper, and you’ve made no move to take your hand back from him, and Spencer’s pretty sure he’d be more than happy to sit with you in this moment forever. “I mean-” you go on, gesturing animatedly with your free hand, “you’re like-a really good liar when you want to be. And everyone else always forgets how good you are at it.”

He snorts at that and the sound makes you light up, eyes tracking the arch of his brows, the warmth in his soft brown eyes, memorising the way he looks like this; utterly unbothered, completely at ease. It might be your favourite version of him, but that race has always been a tight one with no clear winner in sight. You have lots of favourite versions of Spencer. Twisting your hand in his, you tangle your fingers together, savouring the way you feel his thumb glide delicately along your skin and the unhidden joy in his face at the simple show of affection.

Time to play your trump card.

“$50 says we can hide it from the whole group for at least six months. If everyone figures it out before then, you win. But if not everyone has worked it out by then, I win.”

The mischievous shine in your eyes is irresistible, and Spencer smiles, disentangling one of his hands from yours to extend his own pinky finger.

“You’re on.”

The words barely make it out of his mouth before you’re colliding with him, pressing your lips to his.

two months.

“So, how long has this whole thing been going on?” Derek’s question catches Spencer off guard, and, based on the way he can see you freeze in his peripheral vision, takes you by surprise as well. Sliding into the driver's seat of the SUV, Derek continues “I hope you didn’t think you were gonna be able to keep me in the dark for long, pretty boy. You should know better than that.”

Following mechanically after him, Spencer takes the passenger seat, trying to frame his next statement as carefully as possible as he hears your door close and the car start. “We were-going to tell you guys-” he begins uncomfortably, glancing back to you for support, but you look just as on edge as he feels. “We were just gonna-keep it to ourselves for a while-before telling Hotch and everything-” he tries again, the mounting tension levering his shoulders higher and higher with every passing moment, but then Derek just laughs, shaking his head.

“Hey, I’m happy for you, kid. For both of you.” He spares a look at you in the back seat through the rear view mirror, and you can feel the tension in your jaw relax, the furrows in your brow straightening out at the note of approval in Derek’s voice. “I’m glad you two finally figured it out,” he says, fondly, and you laugh.

“I bet Spence we could keep it from you guys at least six months,” you explain, reaching forwards through the centre console to link your pinky with Spencer’s, and the touch of your hand releases the last of the tension he had been harbouring as he covers your hand with the other one of his own. He knows Derek clocks the motion, filing it away in his mind somewhere, but he doesn’t care about the scrutiny so much right now. Not when your hand is so warm and comfortable in his.

Derek reaches for the dial on the radio and flicks through the channel, thinking about something, and as you watch, a slow mischievous smirk spreads across his face a moment later before he glances first at Spencer and then at you.

“I’ll tell you what,” he says to you, and Spencer can feel a familiar grin tugging at his own lips as he watches a plan take shape in his friend’s eyes. “I’m happy to sit on this information for a while for a cut of the winnings from whichever one of you comes out on top.” He snorts good naturedly as he continues “I have my own bet to win with Prentiss, so if you two help me win that one, I’ll cut you in too.”

“A quid pro quo of sorts,” Spencer says slowly, and he feels your fingers tighten around his, as you snort softly, and he knows instinctually you’re grinning the same way you always do when you’re winning a game. “I think we can do that.”

Derek grins, turning the music up as he nods, eyes on the road. “Then you two love birds have got yourselves a deal.”

two months and two weeks.

PG: youre not as slick as you think you are ;)

YN: ???

PG: ;))))))))) you should invest in some concealer for your work bag sweetness or tell the good doctor to pay more attention to whats visible in your work clothes

YN: oh my fucking god wait how do you even know thats how that happened

PG: im all knowing and all seeing im like the omnipotent goddess of the fbi

YN: derek blabbed

PG: he sang like a canary but also im an omnipotent goddess im also totally clued in on the whole bet situation with em so for the low low price of every single juicy detail about how this adorableness went down you can buy my silence :)

YN: im getting derek decaf coffee on all coffee runs from now on >:( traitors dont get caffeine

PG: darling sweet angel i need deets all of them like immediately

YN: >:( fine ok so. after that case down in georgia a few months ago? the weird one? with the creepy mother son thing?

PG: omg yuck pls dont remind me im here for the CUTENESS not the MURDER

YN: sorryyyyyyy anyway so spence was like being super weird about it all on the plane and whatever but he was doing that super annoying thing where he ignores it and says hes fine so everyone leaves him alone

PG: YEAH why does everyone here do that ALL THE TIME its SO annoyingggg

YN: ikr its insufferable and like super not subtle ANYWAY. spence was being weird and whatever and i just. refused to let him sulk on his own or whatever like i could tell there was something bothering him and so after work i insisted that we were gonna get like shitty diner food or whatever and watch a movie and he knows better than to say no to me

PG: smart boy

YN: so we got fries and milkshakes and then went back to his place to watch a movie and he was still like weird and silent and like brooding yknow? but whatever just figured hed talk about it when he was ready so i put on a movie and offered to make popcorn and then he was just staring at me and he looked so SAD and TIRED and i thought id done something wrong like the poor guy looked like he was gonna cry and i was panicking over fucking popcorn and then he says ‘why are you always so nice to me?’

PG: oh my god hes like if a sad victorian orphan was actually a triplicate phd holder

YN: i was SO thrown off i was like spencer. spencer were best friends. ive been forcing you to hang out with me for years now why do you THINK im being nice to you its bc i care about you asshole and then. like after another million years after letting me sweat it out over whether hes about to cry for like fucking years the asshole grabs my hand and says. i shit you not. ‘you know im in love with you, right?’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YN: anyway hes my boyfriend now :’) dont tell anyone tho gotta win the bet

four months.

Lingering by the elevator, you glance around at the uncharacteristically silent office building, waiting for Spencer to leave the bullpen. The sound of his footfalls drawing nearer makes you smile and you mentally applaud yourself for suggesting the two of you remained behind after disembarking from the plane, taking advantage of the manufactured privacy to take the same car home, back to his apartment.

When he sees you waiting for him, he can’t help the soft fond smile that tugs at his face, as he reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers into yours with a gentle squeeze, the quiet of the building allowing him to indulge in the show of affection. You return the squeeze, leaning your head on his shoulder with a yawn and as he presses a fond kiss to your temple he’s rewarded by a sleepy hum of approval from you that sends a rush of quiet joy shooting through him.

“At least we won’t be sleeping in hotel beds again tonight,” you say, voice weary, and Spencer nods as he shuffles you into the elevator. The doors slide shut and the elevator starts to move and in the moment of absolute privacy, you steal a kiss, tilting your chin up to catch his lips with yours, revelling in the soft huff of surprise he lets out, even as he smiles against your mouth. Even after months, the simple act of kissing Spencer still feels new and thrilling somehow, like you can’t quite believe it’s something you’re allowed to do.

His nose brushes yours and he breathes “unless something big comes up, we get a sleep in tomorrow too,” and the way you beam at him sends his heart racing in his chest, unable to look away from the fondness shining in your eyes.

As the two of you exit the elevator and make your way through the Bureau car park, you tuck yourself against his side, wedging yourself under his arm with a happy sigh, eager to get yourself horizontal and asleep as fast as possible. Spencer brushes his lips against your temple again as the two of you close in on his car, almost free and clear of the office when a voice behind the two of you brings you up short.

“Reid?”

Spencer is reacting before his mind catches up, turning on his heel towards the sound of Hotch’s voice echoing through the parking lot, conscious of the incriminating way you’re still tucked against his side, even as his brain is rifling frantically through any possible excuses for the current circumstances.

“Hotch-” you step away from Spencer, cheeks flaming, not wanting to chance a look at him. “I-we-thought everyone else had gone home,” you trail off lamely, trying your hardest not to balk under Hotch’s ominously impassive scrutiny. A second passes, then another, and the short silence feels like months, or years even as the three of you stand locked in a stalemate.

“I take it the two of you would prefer to keep this under wraps?” He asks, finally, and it registers with Spencer, somewhat belatedly, that Hotch’s tone isn’t admonishing. It isn’t enough to dissipate the tension coiling in Spencer’s muscles just yet, but he spares a glance at you as he nods, and a moment later, Hotch gives the two of you a curt nod of his own. “I’ll tell you what,” he says, a shade of irony colouring his voice. “If you two fill out the paperwork for in-team relationships for me, I’ll keep it to myself. I understand privacy is hard to come by in our office.”

The words take a while to fully sink in, and you’re conscious that you’re standing there blinking and gaping at your boss like a bemused fish for a good few seconds before you’ve composed yourself enough to say “absolutely, sir. Of course. Thank you.”

Hotch nods again, heading towards his own car, and as he passes the two of you, a brief smile flashes across his face.

“Congratulations, you two. Get some sleep.”

four months and three weeks.

Spencer isn’t sure how late it is, but he knows you’re not asleep yet, the faint glow of your phone screen casting faint distorted shadows across his room as your free hand rests lightly on his chest. In the dark blue twilight of his room, the space feels undefined and dream like somehow, the line between his mind and his surroundings blurry or indistinct somehow, and as you huff out a near silent laugh at something on the screen in your hand, a thought rises to the surface of his thoughts like flotsam on an unwanted tide.

The more clinical part of his mind notes the autonomic response in his body, the way his heart lurches unpleasantly in his chest, heart rate rising with an influx of cortisol through his nervous system, automatically rifling through ways to control the anxiety response. Age old instinct surges forwards, starting to push his spiralling anxiety down out of sight so as not to bother you with it, but then your hand shifts infinitesimally on his chest, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his pyjama shirt, and for once his body is miles ahead of his brilliant mind, your name is leaving his lips before he’s really aware of it happening.

Your gaze flashes up from your phone at the sound of his voice, soft and hesitant, and you let the screen go dark as you set it down. You can feel Spencer’s heart hammering against his ribs under your palm, and your brows knit together in concern as you shift closer to his side, tracing gentle circles over his shirt with your fingertips, the repetitive motion intended to soothe, though you’re not sure if it’s for his benefit or yours.

“Yeah, baby?” You ask softly, working hard to keep the rising worry from your voice. After three years of friendship and almost six months of dating, you know him well enough to sense when his propensity for overthinking and catastrophizing is slipping out of his control. You can feel his chest rise as he inhales sharply, whatever he’s about to say cut off by second guessing, doing nothing to pacify your concern. “Spence? Is everything okay?” You ask again.

“This-bet-hiding our relationship-it’s-” he trails off, throat tight as he rolls onto his side, facing away from you, and smushing his face into the pillow, already wishing he hadn’t said anything. You’re the kindest person he’s ever met, but offering up this kind of raw insecurity feels like pulling teeth. Even if it’s you. Especially if it’s you. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to find out if you care about him enough to stay when his racing mind gets the better of him. The pillow muffles his voice as he says “never mind.”

You feel your own heart rate tic up in response to that, matching the wild beat of Spencer’s that you could feel under your palm only a second ago. “Baby, talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

He shakes his head, face still hidden in the pillow. “It’s stupid.”

He can feel the rush of your breath on his back as you sigh, and your voice is almost achingly patient as you say softly “it’s not stupid if it matters to you.” There’s a long pause, and you press yourself against his back, settling close and letting your hand slide over his side to rest on his chest, the heat of his skin sinking into yours even through his thin shirt. In spite of his height, he feels so small as you wrap yourself around him, drawing closer, trying to reassure him without yet knowing what he needs to be reassured of. “Spence?”

“Are you ashamed of-being with me? Is that why you want to hide it?” The words are almost whispered, the sound almost lost against his pillow and your heart sinks, plummeting faster and further than if you’d dropped it off the side of a skyscraper. You should’ve known he might worry about that, should have realised it might have felt that way. Remorse rises hot and bitter in your throat and you swallow it down, trying to steady your voice.

“Spencer. Sweetheart. No. Never. I could never be ashamed. I love you. I’m so sorry.” Your arms wrap more tightly around him and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, the tension you can feel in every inch of his body making you feel more cruel and short-sighted than you already do. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise it might feel like that. I could never be ashamed of being with you, Spence. You’re my favourite person.” He takes the kind of shaky, shallow breath that comes with trying not to cry and your heart breaks a little more as one of his hands slowly moves to cover yours where it rests against his chest, just over his heart.

As his hand rests over yours, his thumb strokes lightly along your knuckles, and he knows you know him well enough to notice the way his hand trembles, just a little, because then your hand is shifting against his, turning to clumsily tangle your fingers with his, holding tighter to him as he tries to collect himself, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath as his eyes squeeze shut. He can hear the contrition in your voice as you say softly “I’ve never really liked having people know everything about what’s going on in my life. And I love our friends but-something like this, that’s so-special? So new? I wanted to be able to keep it to just us for a while.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice comes out a little shaky, scarcely more than a whisper, and it’s more than you can take as you pull back and gently force him to roll over to face you. He’s not crying, but his eyes are glassy and you recognise the fight to keep the tears unshed in the tight set of his jaw and the hard line of his lips. Leaning on your elbow, you lift your free hand to gently smooth out the furrows of his brow, letting your fingers linger along the planes of his face.

“Why are you sorry,” you ask gently. “You don’t need to be sorry, baby. Not for talking to me about things that bother you. We can tell everyone else tomorrow, if you want? We can call off the bet. Derek will live. If he’s got a problem with it I’ll turn all his shirts into crop tops.”

He can tell the joke is a last bid attempt to make him smile, to ease his fear, and it works. In spite of the anxious weight in his chest that feels like it’s pressing him into the mattress, Spencer laughs weakly, meeting your eyes, and he watches as a relieved smile breaks across your face, releasing your lower lip from where you’d trapped it worriedly between your teeth. The unmitigated affection that floods into your eyes renders him momentarily breathless as he takes in the moment. You’re still here, still trying to take care of him. Just as kind and steadfast as ever.

“No,” he says eventually, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down on top of him like a living weighted blanket, letting your warmth chase the bulk of the tension from his body and luxuriating in the way you curl into him, one hand sliding into his hair. “We shouldn’t call off the bet. We still have to take Emily’s money, remember?”

Your sleepy laugh is the last thing he hears before his eyes close and the feel of your body wound around his lulls him to sleep.

five months.

SR: Can I talk to you about something?

DM: you dying or something? that’s a really fuckin ominous text to recieve out of the blue

SR: I’m not dying, why would that be what you assumed? I just have a question.

DM: just a figure of speech but what’s up?

SR: It’s about your bet with Emily. What’re the terms for it?

DM: wym?

SR: What exactly did you two make the bet about? What needs to happen in order for you to win the bet?

DM: does this count as collusion?

SR: Technically yes, but calling it collusion implies a certain degree of illegality.

DM: whatever anyway the terms i made with em were that you’d make some kind of move before your birthday but she reckoned you were gonna need some kind of near death experience to do anything about your crush why?

SR: I’m just making sure I have all the information.

DM: what’s going on pretty boy? you planning something?

SR: Maybe.

DM: not a helpful answer reid is everything good?

SR: Everything’s fine. We’re just figuring some stuff out. Nothing to worry about.

DM: is there something you’re not telling me?

SR: Don’t worry about it.

five months, three weeks and six days.

In the chaos that was the scramble from the briefing room to the jet, you haven’t yet had the chance to speak to Spencer about the outcome of his most recent thesis defence panel. By the time you’ve got a moment to breathe, the jet is underway, coasting across the country towards Montana, the whole team settled in for the six hour flight. You corner him in the tiny kitchen area of the jet as he’s making a mug of mediocre coffee, fingers tapping out an absent minded rhythm on the countertop as the coffee machine whirs, clearly not paying attention to anything outside of his head.

“Hey, boy genius.” He jumps, whirling around, eyes wide with surprise, and you smile fondly. “So?” You demand, and Spencer raises an eyebrow in confusion. You snort, rolling your eyes as you elaborate. “Your defence panel. Did it go okay?”

You’re shifting your weight and fidgeting restlessly with the belt loops on your pants and as he studies you for a moment, it occurs to Spencer that you’re nervous for him over this outcome. The thought brings an almost giddy smile to his face.

“You know this isn’t my first thesis defence panel, right?” He says mildly, deliberately burying the lede, enjoying the way you scowl in irritation too much to answer your question right away, too enamoured with this display of concern on his behalf.

“Don’t be difficult, Doctor Reid. It’s still a big deal.” He just shrugs noncommittally, and you huff, swatting his arm lightly. “So did it go well?” You ask again, eyes narrowing as you try to dissect his microexpressions, trying to discern the answer he seems determined to keep from you for yourself. A few seconds later, he relents.

“I can now add degree number six to my wall.” He confirms. Getting degrees doesn’t hold the same rush of pride for him now, the accomplishment feeling somewhat less exceptional as he acquires more of them, but the way your face lights up with pride for him reminds him how special the things he’s capable of can be. You’ve always made him feel like more than the sum of his parts somehow, like something infinitely more precious than he always assumed he is.

“I fucking knew it. That’s amazing, Spence,” you say, chest warm and full with pride and love, and his almost shy smile in return is enough to make a decision for you in a split second. Your hand dips into your back pocket, drawing something out, and you carefully hide it from view in your palm as Spencer tracks the motion curiously with his eyes.

Your eyes are shining with affection and something that looks like mischief and the way you’re smiling at him is more than enough to divert his attention as you step closer, just barely noticing as you slip something into his hand. You’re dangerously, distractingly close now, and he’s conscious, if somewhat distantly, that neither of you is concealed from the rest of the team, scant meters away in the seating area of the jet. But you’re smiling and close enough for him to feel your breath on his face and suddenly your lips are on his, and even after nearly seven months of being able to touch you like this, it’s enough to make him forget everything else as he melts into the contact, savouring the warmth of your skin and the faint smell of your shampoo.

You pull back a second later, the kiss over almost as soon as it started, but it’s enough to attract attention, and you can hear a belated ‘oh SHIT’ from Emily in the main cabin of the jet. In your peripheral vision, you can see money changing hands, your friends scrambling to react, but you don’t look at them, choosing to enjoy the bemused, affectionate look on Spencer’s face as his brain catches up to the events unfolding around the two of you.

“I was tired of keeping it a secret,” you say fondly, loud enough only for him to hear. “You win.”

Blinking in confusion, he finally tears his gaze away from yours, fingers uncurling to reveal the fifty dollar bill you had pressed into his palm right before you kissed him. The penny drops and he snorts with laughter, shaking his head in half hearted indignation as his other arm loops around you, pulling you in, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, hiding your face from the rest of the team as he kisses your temple, revelling in the way you wind yourself around him in response.

“I was gonna do this in like two days. I wanted you to win,” he murmurs against your hairline, and he can feel your faint laughter.

“Too bad, baby. I’m used to getting my way,” you say, pulling back to steal another quick kiss before peeling yourself out of his arms with a wink, turning to face the onslaught of ‘care to fucking explain that’ and ‘I fucking told you so’ from the rest of your friends, tugging him with you by your joined hands.

[tsukidrama]

hi! same anon. thanks so much for answering all of my questions! i hope it’s ok that i have some more?

when reader and papa first met at the battle of heaven and earth, what was she like? i know even in trnt she still has some negative feelings towards papa for what he made annie go through, so what was she like towards him before she actually got to know him?

are any of the other animals besides cinnamon and the cats named? I like to imagine reader and annie naming each and every one of the chickens and then forgetting who’s who

what was reader like when hange died?

im so sorry for all of these questions i know you said its fine but i just kind of feel like im bombarding you 😓

have a good night!

of course i don't mind! though the first two questions don't have very interesting answers. i genuinely have a lot of fun answering these and i like it when people are curious!!! continue to send asks forever if you want to. i will never get tired of talking about TRNT.

i've gotten this question before, i think? they really don't interact that much! Annie does introduce them to one another in the aftermath of the battle but he's never met any of the Paradis kids, so nobody particularly stands out. on Reader's part, she's definitely not thrilled to meet him. and she doesn't particularly like him going in but she knows that he's important to Annie, and that being with Annie means being okay with her dad. so she swallows her feelings in favor of just politely nodding and smiling, shaking his hand, and introducing herself. Papa hasn't seen his daughter in years so he's more focused on catching up with her rather than grilling her about who she's dating. i don't think the idea of her dating someone even crosses his mind until it happens. that's his baby, yknow? the image he has of her in his head is from when she was a child. even if they were hugging in front of him i don't think Papa would immediately connect that to her being romantically involved with anyone. plus, after that big battle everybody had a lot of other things on their mind.

i don't think he's that observant so he doesn't even really notice anything after reader and Annie move in together. have you read off the beaten path? particularly this one and this one since they deal with the early dynamic.

yeah, the other animals have names! i don't list them in the story because there would be too many names to keep track of. i don't think i've ever sat down and come up with names for them and i doubt i will but they obviously exist in canon. any suggestions from the people? lmao

Papa would only know the cows' names since that's what he deals with, but reader + Annie know them all. they have all their little markings or feather/coat patterns memorized, as well as their mannerisms. you might be surprised how distinctive of personalities farm animals can have! after a month or two of seeing them every day they become part of the family.

as for hanji's death: initially, i mean, basically the same reaction as everyone else? she'd be devastated and crying and shit, but i don't think she would spiral too incredibly badly. more than anything i think reader's biggest takeaway would be that all this fighting just keeps killing people she cares about. she realizes that death is the only thing coming for the people who are involved in war.

honestly it didn't hit me until now but... hanji's death might be what pushed reader over the edge into being so eager to detach herself from Paradis. there are very, very few people left for her. she's got no family left alive and like everyone, she's watched people she's known for years slowly being picked off one by one. hanji dying just pushes her to the point of not wanting to be involved in anything having to do with war - or peace/diplomacy for that matter.

that's definitely part of why she doesn't go back to Paradis. she doesn't want to see places that she associates with people who are now dead. and it also doesn't help that things would be awkward with Historia. what happens from the raid on Liberio all the way to the finale changes reader's mind about "going home," and i think she's so caught up in the fairytale feelings of having Annie back that she doesn't even realize she left Hisu behind until it's too late. and with a newborn baby, too. it's not reader's best moment but hey! girl has got issues.

this will come back in TRNT at some point actually, but shsh sh ssshh spoilers ....

[nihiltism]

6 is a good number

hehe so polar opposite of hugslug then... hugslug has many images and no lore. mack has no images and an okay amount of lore. alright letsgo. so my guy mack is an angel (i went googling so his name is actually short for macroprosopus but like if you ask him he'll say its short for something you Cant pronounce and He doesnt care to try to. anyway). his deal works best if i explain my other guy mortys deal because they are gay do not separate, but ill do my best to explain it without their deal.

anyway hes not. fallen but he decided that he wanted to fuck off to go hang out in the mortal world and he causes so many problems on the daily that none of his fellow angels really contested him on this theyre just like god please get out of our house. anyway being a fish out of water/deserter he does get some drawbacks like a bit of a handicap on his immortality. so hes Sort of immortal in the "only dies if killed" variety but even when he does get killed whatever deific system exists in my brain doesnt want to deal with him so he just gets sent right back, albeit at a random time and place.

anyway mack really doesnt mind this because he, is a being of pure hedonism! hes a prankster and a shitdisturber and while hes having fun its mostly fucking around w mortal people that he can never really relate to but he thinks are terribly interesting (as well as their reactions to his bullshit). also his whole Maliciously Lackadaisical attitude is only helped by the fact that dying is basically just a get out of jail free card for him, so while a normal mortal person would have enough fear of death to learn the valuable lesson of talk shit get hit, mack fucks shit up Way beyond the bounds of stupidity because 1. its not like these people's problems are going to matter on an even remotely widespread scale anyway (and really why would he care if they did) and 2. its not like they can really punish him for his actions because he's got nothing to lose, babey!

so i gave him something to lose!

somewhere along the line he manages to run into another person just as immortal as he is (thats my "god wont let me die because im already dead" skeleton grandpa morty who ill talk abt later but just know theyre my favorite <3) and both of them realize how Terribly Lonely theyve been in their own ways (morty gets too attached to the mortal people they meet and kind of Have to distance themself to not get hurt. this does not work.) (meanwhile mack as previously mentioned has never been able to relate to mortal people at all and distances himself somewhat by assholery but also somewhat just by Being Immortal) and now that they have someone they can care about and love without any fears or pretenses, they can't afford to lose each other. sooo basically mack has to clean up his act and Not get himself killed because he cant just run away from his problems now

(now heres a spoiler mack does die. a lot. but what makes me more emo is that morty is just flat out unkillable immortal so this basically means that there Is an unspoken agreement that no matter how far back, forwards, away or close mack ends up, morty will always be there waiting for him. morty's his sole rock in the stream of time and im EMO ABOUT IT!! also since morty spends so much time listening to others and paying attention to the little things while mack has all these stories of wild ass events he's seen over the times and places they both can just trade stories back and forth and rub off on each other and they have all the time in the world to listen and make new ones and wauu)

i think?? thats all ive got on mack so far?? apart from the fact that with morty hes like. still a being of chaos but a domesticated shitdisturber yknow. instead of causing a war every sunday he mixes and matches clothes from all sorts of time periods just to confuse people and grows an obscene amount of eyes just to tell morty that he only has eyes for them (which morty thinks is corny and delightful)

[sunflowerseraph]

HEEHEE! hits u back with the character game uhh thor or bucky :33

!!! I'll do... BOTH >:D ! It'll be long tho so I'm putting em under cuts :}

Here's the ask game btw!

Thor!

How I feel about this character: OH he's such a bi disaster. But he's trying his best. Textbook himbo. Crushed under the weight of his father's expectations of him alot of the time. Probably struggles with self worth nowadays too,with the battles and family he's lost! Also he's very much like those memes abt dudes/dads where they'll mention some horrible childhood trauma and then have some funny song playing in their head like nothin even happened.! I feel like he cares very deeply for the friendships he's made and the found family he's gained with the warriors three [rip] and the avengers! Overall? Kind himbo who respects women and forgets how smart he is sometimes.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: honestly this is such a hard question cause im sure if u presented me with like,good reasons for most people then I'd be on board. But so far one of my Main ships for Thor rn is Bruce and Thor <3 GammaHammer makes me happy :} I've seen thor n valkyrie stuff too which is like aight they're all bi4bi t4t prolly,but honestly a polycule or some shit w Bruce Val and thor would be Inch resting :} I'm not sure tho! Oh and Jane Foster I Guess but she's not rlly up there.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: OH absolutely thor and loki ! Brothers 🤍 I rewatch the thor movies the other day and seeing them fight together and hang out as kids made me so 🥺❗ yknow? I also think Thor n Darcy are a fun pair! Thor and the warriors three make me :} as well bc they're all buddies! That's his little family yknow!! Or. Was.

My unpopular opinion about this character: listen i know I just called him a himbo but he's smarter than people give him credit for I think. But also he's pretty cocky at times with his fighting ability and I feel like that's his greatest downfall. He tends to sorta think he can do everything on his own,and he doesn't rely on others until he really needs to and it ends up w him or his companions hurt :(

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.: ough I wish we could've gotten more time to see him experiencing earth stuff! In other like shows n such (like one of the animated series) its funny to see him interacting with mortals and I feel like we don't get that enough. Like sure we got the "another!" Scene and if you watched the YouTube mocumentary he obviously doesn't understand money or jobs. But it's still funny and I'd like to see him go "I don't understand what that means :D" like an optimistic puppy yknow :]

Uhmm yeh that's for thor! OK Bucky time 🤍

Bucky-

How I feel about this character: I feel like. They should do more w him in the mcu! But that's just bc im a kinnie ig but it makes me sad that he's just viewed as Steve's Sidekick when he's got a personality and works so well as Sam's partner in TFAWTS! I like the representation he can bring to the table though,regarding disability (I mean even though. He's an enhanced person but yknow.) And mental health! He also shows that your past doesn't need to define you and you CAN be free and work past old mistakes.! I feel like he's a little out of touch sometimes bc of the time shifts and mental stuff goin on,but I'm not saying it's a bad thing,its just compelling to meeee

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I USED to ship stevebucky I won't lie,but I much rather prefer SamBucky bc its just better LMAO Sam is much cooler than Steve in many regards and to me Sam is a better influence on Buckys life ig? Like. Idk how to explain it well enough but their banter is better and they compliment eachother rather than one of them taking the reigns all the time. I just like the level playing field where it still feels like Bucky can be a Sidekick but his partner at the same time rather than Just Bucky Barnes. Idk if that makes sense but !

My non-romantic OTP for this character: honestly I'm not sure? I feel like if they could both get over association's with like...almost killing eachother Bucky and Nat could be friends :] both were molded to be Weapons and have to deal with their traumas and mental health. Obviously I also wish Steve would've stuck around bc I hate that he like.LEFT his best friend and new family,but whatever.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I think bucky is sort of a dork actually. Alot of people make him very stoic and Winter Soldiery but that's. Not all he is! He's a complex person who's been used and weaponized and its annoying whenever people try to say he's a stoic person or whatever. Like no bro ur thinking abt the winter soldier. Ofc the winter solider was/is part of him and that doesn't just shut off but I think it's bs to boil him down to Killing Machine Assasinator Ooo Scary! When he was also a soldier during. Fucking Ww2! He was also like shown to be a bit of a dorky guy who liked to dance and be with chick's n shit lmao,like he mustve been a charmer. And even after,like during tfatws he's shown to still have bits of that personality. He messes around with Sam's nephews and offers help without prompting and just overall wants to live a more peaceful life while still managing to be social and humorous. ("How old are you anyways?" "106.") Anyways I think what I'm saying is ppl tend to forget to split him and tws.!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.: this is sort of similar to the Thor thing but discovering new age shit! Like I wanna see him be bad at tech or be confused by new slang. Also wanna see him like, get annoyed at how the tech is where he's at vs. The wakandan tech. That shit probably blew his socks off and then he had to go hang w Americans and went :(?? How do i use a flip phone. The beads were so convenient in Wakanda HFNEBDB. I also wish we could've actually seen how bucky Healed in Wakanda?? Like however he was helped yknow? I'm sure they (mcu) can't like do much besides say he was Magically Cured Of Mental Illness so I guess I'm glad they left it up to whatever but. Still 😔

Anyways uhm yeah! Sorry this is so long sjdjf it prolly doesn't make much sense but 👍❤

[happikattwuzheere]

the one where gansey befriends a deer: the au

hey remember that time ronan dreamed up a deer that was described with language suspiciously similar to how adam’s described, because i sure do!!! anyway

OK.

ok. so. this au’s actually evolved a lot since its initial already-pretty-fleshed-out inception one sleepless night, so me talking about it’s gonna be more than one post, but here’s the first one well actually the second technically yesterday’s warmup doodles were also from this au but i didnt talk about it at all so

and I’m gonna start with more or less the same pitch I gave to a couple people on discord

SO. starting out: it’s standard fantasy times, vaguely medieval but no specific time period because I don’t care enough to be digging into that quite frankly, but it is somewhere in England where this is happening. Story starts with just Gansey, Ronan, and Noah. Fey are very real and known entities and there’s been a conflict in England between the fey and humans, if not in the whole country then at least in the lands that the Ganseys are the lords of but probably the whole island tbh, and Gansey’s not inherited the lands yet but he’s going to and wants to maybe find a peaceful resolution to the conflict. It’s not open warfare by any means but it’s been a big problem. 

To the effect of solving that, he heads to some little village that I haven’t named but it’s right next to a known fey forest called Cabeswater. This village has avoided being stomped by the local fey because, despite witches not being particularly liked by the nobility of the time, there’s a big old coven (the psychics of Fox Way, essentially) situated right by this village that’s kept things in check. Gansey’s made his excuses to his parents about why he’s officially going there but really he wants to talk to the witches and get a better grasp of the conflict from the people actually dealing with it.  He and Ronan set out from home together, pick up Noah along the way--who is not a ghost in this AU, he’s a fey who owes Gansey a life debt, that’s a whole other post and THIS post is mostly about gansey and adam--but anyway they get to this village and NOBODY gives gansey the time of day. 

the witches don’t let him into their house because they don’t like the nobility right back thanks and the next time he tries to visit Cabeswater won’t even let him get to the coven’s dwelling, the one witch’s daughter who regularly stops by the village for supplies and to check if anyone needs anything has a big argument with him the first time he talks to her so that’s going nowhere, and, well, the villagers are polite, but they clearly don’t take him seriously. He’s just the lordling playing at things and potentially meddling in their business to them.

So he starts hanging out just barely within Cabeswater, even though he knows that’s not wise, because he finds this perfect spot by a stream, and he’ll sit out there and think and work on the journal he keeps of all his thoughts and plans, and one day while he’s there has a straight up Disney princess experience when a deer stops by the stream and seems incredibly unafraid of him. he cherishes the experience but accepts that it probably won’t happen again.

and then it does. several times. gansey’s losing his mind. this deer??? apparently likes listening to him info dump?? it’s very therapeutic and also very magical and he’s amazed 

a few times in, he names the deer “Pryderi” after a character from a welsh legend, because “such a handsome creature deserves a princely name,” [[muffled blue laughing and whispering “princely” in the distance]], and he tells ronan and noah about this experience but ronan doesn’t believe him at ALL. 

one time after gansey’s particularly upset at how bad his attempts at getting along with the villagers, Pryderi actually lets Gansey touch him for the first time and gansey cannot shut up about it to ronan who’s finally like “i think you’re bullshitting me about this deer thing. im coming with you next time” and gansey’s like “well he’s a deer he might not show up if a stranger’s around and he doesn’t come every time i go down there anyway” and ronan’s like “this sounds like a lot of excuses, dick, you’re not making me believe you any more with this” and gansey’s like “>8\” 

but pryderi does show up, and gansey is delighted, and ronan stares really hard at him and then goes 

and gansey’s like what? nooo. but ronan keeps arguing it for the duration of the visit and the deer actually starts to look annoyed and at the end ganseys like ok maybe but i doubt it. and then hes like “well since you are a fey apparently (/sarcasm) i ought to say farewell with respect” and bows very mockingly and then the deer makes direct eye contact with ronan and bows back and gansey loses his shit

gansey continues meeting up with pryderi but even while his infodumping still happens it does so now with the knowledge that He Does Actually Understand What Im Saying, he may be a fey but he seems like a friendly one and hey that’s way more than gansey thought he would get out here, and also this deer is his friend now thanks, 

he, ronan, and noah (who’s amused by Pryderi but keeps his main thoughts to himself for now) make some excursions into cabeswater, but the thing is noah’s not really native to england, he’s from the european mainland, again i’ll get to it in another post sometime, but. he can sort of help navigate cabeswater but not all THAT well so they get lost a couple times, and every time it does happen pryderi shows up and helps guide them out. there’s some very funny moments of a very jealous ronan getting into weird conflict w/ a very smug deer 

anyWAY one day there’s like a festival, everyone’s drunk because its the middle ages and there’s not really a drinking age, gansey’s making another effort to make friends with anyone, and this one guy about his own age is like “ok look here i’ll teach you the folk dance everyone’s doing ok?” and gansey spends the night dancing w/ a handsome stranger, yes he will recognize the irony in the morning, but for now it goes. well badly because they’re both drunk but it’s fun, and then the guy says “ah, fuck it, i’ll finish teaching you next time we see each other” and gansey’s like “thats a little forward but ok!” and the guy (adam. its adam) panics and leaves while gansey’s back is turned and gansey doesn’t remember that last snippet of conversation the next day nor can he quite recall the stranger’s face. ronan does, because he was watching and not sure which of the two he was jealous of, but neither of them has any idea who the guy actually was. 

and then like, 3 days later, gansey falls asleep at the spot he usually hangs out in in cabeswater and wakes up in the early evening just in time to hear people yelling and for Pryderi to burst into view with an arrow in his flank. he collapses in a bush. gansey snaps into “protect friend” mode and gets the hunters off his trail by being all “oh a strange buck? i saw it pass that way over there friend!” and then when they’re gone he comes back and is all “alright pryderi they’re gone, let me just--” except pryderi’s not a deer anymore. it’s a boy. 

(Adam. its adam. the deer is adam.) 

gansey takes him home, gets the arrow out, noah’s like “i mean he’s not a fey, i dont know what turning into a deer is about but if he were fey the iron in that arrow would already have him dead. he might be partially fey but so little that he’s human in the ways that really matter”, over the next couple days they figure out that pryderi is in fact from the village and is a young man named adam parrish who’s been labelled a changeling and is assumed dead since he was yknow shot, gansey decides for now its probably best to keep him that way, but adam’s not getting better--apparently even having had the arrow in him as briefly as he did has poisoned him, he’s desperately ill and on the third day is finally like “get persephone” so gansey tries again (he’s tried several times over these days, they’d worked out that to have survived this long he must have someone else with a small degree of fey blood teaching him the ropes and the most likely suspects are the witches, but he’s hoping adam specifically asking him to will grant him permission enough to go in) and runs into a very frantic blue en route who as soon as he makes it clear he’s got adam is like “move your ass over on that horse im climbing on too” 

they get persephone, who turns into a fox rather than a deer, she saves adam, everythings cool except adam’s pissy now because he cant go back to the village and he has to give up on the attempts he had in the works to get out of town by working his way out and he takes it out on gansey who doesnt deserve it because this friendship is a mess, he’ll feel bad and take it back eventually but thats yet more posts ANYWAY YEAH theres our starting point 

(also worth noting: due to cabeswater being Right There,  p much everyone in this village actually has a small degree of fey blood, adam just won the genetic lottery) 

tl;dr adam’s a fey-blooded witch’s apprentice and he’s been the deer the whole time and thats the start of this au ty for coming to this ramble 

[stimmypaw]

Stimmypaw reads Darkest Night! The fourth text post!

Back with these uh live reading comments! Remember those? yeah! I'm on the fourth book of Warrior Cats: A Vision of Shadows :D I read The Apprentice's Quest and Thunder and Shadow and Shattered Sky and now!! I'm here :D and boy did I have a time. Click read more to see it!

NEEDLETAIL?????????

Needletail???????????

What?????

OH???????

Wh THIS GUY IS TALKIN 2 DEAD PEOPLE????

HOW WHO IS THAT

OH MY GOD

These guys are weak and dumb skyclan is epic and sharing the territory with them is good, but of course sparkpelt isn't dealing well with change wink wink nudge wink nudge nudge huh???? (this is a nod to how I project into her and say shes autistic)

I am getting anxious for tinycloud SERIOUSLY how much longer until those kits??? Everyday you show up and its WOW my tummy ssure is HUGE AND BULGING I just Wonder Oh When They'll Be Born, probably pretty soon!!! :) and then they arent!!!! Birth dammit!!!

Cherryfall cut the sick and hurt cats some slack jeez youre Fine, youre not feeding half the forest and you have THREE medicine cats ready to help you if youre not feeling well

Bastard Cherryfall I hate you /lh

Dovewing and Tigerheart have relationship drama again. What is UP with those two I simply do not understand them

Watching Bramblestar trying to control this bizarre situation is actually funny he is so close to screaming "PLEASE dont be mad :c"

SOON WHEN???? JUST KIT THOSE KITTENS DAMMIT

Get her, Alderheart

They LITERALLY said something about sharing the territory, they were like "Stars have five points baby and we need those 5 clans togetherrrr" what else do these cats want??? I know its a big change but its necessary

Wait everyone shut up that cat is named Podlight this is so important to me

Dang these cats are really still struggling :c I wish they didnt blame each other

Harestar is so cool

What the FUCK mistystar????

God what a disaster of a gathering Starclan is gonna be so pissed everyone is doing the opposite of what they should

I was holding my breath oof

I hope thunderclan gives some territory too thats too small a space for Skyclan

Oh boy oh boy oh boy i am Anxious for these Kitties

Violetpaw is me having nightmares every night

Macgyver is a heavily gringue name and I have No Clue how to say it how the hell do you say it

Update its either Mick Guyver or Mac Guyver apparently

Its fun to see how different the sisters are from one another, I love them both

I also love their mom with the name identical to puddleshine wish I got to meet her

IM CRYING BRO........M...MDB.....NFBANN.....VIOLETPAW BELONGS MY DARLING MY DAUGHTER

Sadly Twigpaw is for gender binarism 😔 /j

Twigpaw is often in her thoughts and doesn't pay attention to anything around her and I love her for that

Bad news Finpaw is gonna lose his tail, good news I can draw his tail fin-shaped

Puddleshine surgeon moment!!!

I love Graystripe and Millie

And I love that being flirty is a part of Sparkpelt's personality, I don't know what Alderheart is talking about she's always been dandelion-headed

Ok this is epic, I’m glad we’re breaking gender roles in Warrior Cats my heart dropped when the books called Briarlight cr*ppled, that’s the thing they promised not to do anymore recently right? I’m not sure but, I could use some uh less ableism on my Warrior Cats, the series is old but the newer books should be better, so yeah, good modernize these cats babyyy

OH COOL Skyclan journey!!! Fun I hope they find someone :] also fuck Molewhisker and Cherryfall bastards.

Jayfeather is gonna miss Alderheart too much for him to leave hehehe

ALL of Starclan showed up just to call out Riverclan pahahah

oooo is shadowclan haunted?????

FINALLY TINYCLOUD IS KITTING YES GOD YES GO QUEEN GOOOO!!!!

I wonder why Twigpaw wants to stay behind, there has to be more than just the camp stuff

"I wish I were more positive like Twigpaw, but at least I'm just as scarred by the death of my loved ones as my dad :] I like being like him"

Violetpaw witnesses a car crash 😔 that was a bit messy what happened to those cars also why the hell was one of them smaller was it a bike??? Or ???? Idk what's up with it!!!

Needletail just happens to have slow-down turned on for her on the discord chat so she can only say like a few words each hour :/ why the hell is she here tho Violetpaw needs to get OVER your death!!!!

This short exchange has made me love Dewpaw

Also, I love Twigpaw, I still wonder why she stayed behind tho

Ahh, is it cus she feels too estranged from her family :c ? I wish her mom was around maybe that would help

Jee Twigpaw be a tad more empathic, I can see Twigpaw struggles with that sometimes

You can't cheer him up right now he's grieving, just find him on common ground, talk to him, don't try to make him happy just try to keep him company

Oh wow finpaw that's a dangerous thing to say I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure to never be sad because people like her because she's happy and her being sad would be bad

ALSO I JUST REMMEMBRERD UH TWIGPAW MENTIONED BRIARLIGHT BUT BERRYNOSE IS RIGHT THERE???? HE IS RIGHT HE DIDNT DIE OFF SCREEN IM SURE OF IT WAIY

BERRYNOSS IS RIGHT THERE I CHDCKED!!!! HE LOST HIS TAIL TOO AND HES A GREAT WARRIOR, TWIGPAW!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT ITS MORE RELATABLE

Okay I'm glad they're getting along this is nice

Oh look twigpaw you Are like your father :] this is cute

Skyclan begins to fish competitively I'm glad

I like it when medicine cats bicker about their leader's behaviors ehheheh, Jayfeather talking about how weak Shadowclan is, Alderheart being annoyed at his father for wanting to stay silent, the others worried about the tensions this is all cheff the kisser

Jayfeather spitting the truths about how Starclan doesn't know shit, and he is very much one to speak

Puddleshine: Rowanstar stepped up the patrols :c

Leadstar: He has warriors enough for that?? Damn good for him

Dang poor Skyclan I hope they manage stuff better soon

Oooo the girls are fighting!!!

Alderheart starclan anxiety time dang

Sheep :]

Needletail :[

I'm sad Ravenpaw isn't here, this is a lovely reunion scene but knowing Barley will be alone when they all leave breaks my heart

Oh, maybe not, but if they stay I'll be sad also cus Skyclan needs its warriors

Aw man, Twigpaw is struggling :c

OUCH

I WANT SKYCLAN 2 SWIM THO......

Omg crimes

That sounds kinda possessive twigpaw!

DOVEWING?????

T

WhHAHAGAHAHA WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

omg tigerstar 2 real

Whats he gonna do to rowanstar???

ALRIGHT THATA OVER THEN PAHAHA

Aw, I'm glad they're having fun tho, and that twigpaw sees herself as skyclan

Alderheart, as he meets someone for the first time in a while: ARE YOU OKAY???

Blackstar protagonist moment

The medicine cats: our gods are toying with us again and destiny is uncertain

Leaders: I cannot DO this right now PLEASE leave and let me care for The Real Issues

Alderheart: YOU WILL hang out at my house Willowshine this isn't up for debate

Riverclan suffered enough and it's their turn to throw a tantrum about it, honestly good for them hsghahah

Alderheart asks his father to go on a quest to check people's feet

WHAT THR HELL IS A CANTANKEROUS

Alderheart and Willowpelt sitting there watching Shadowclan fight

This is really funny

HEWWO????

Puddleshine, in his eyes: help help

I love Skyclan

Ok this sounds like it's gonna be very very fun

Mission impossible: Escape From São Paulo

Oh, is Fallowfern deaf? That's so poggers omg I wanna see more of her

Edit: fallowfern is an elder that lost her hearing with age and retired after that happened :/ boring

I love leafstar so much

Juniperclaw: aren't you gonna punish her????

Leafstar: why

Juniperclaw: when I tell rowanstar he's gonna be pissed

Leafstar: don't tell him

Juniperclaw: the fuck is wrong with you and your clan??? Where is everyone???????

Leafstar: busy

Icon

I don't trust abled people specially able-bodied people telling disabled people they just have to train harder and feeling sorry for yourself won't help.

But this is the closest to a positive message to disabled people we have ever had in warriors so I guess I'll take it but I want better

IVYPOOL!!!💖💖💖💖💕

Dang ivypool what a way to show someone you miss them hahaha

Twigpaw: uhhhh how's dovewing?

Ivypool: what do you mean did she do something illegal I'm sure she did

Ivypool is a seriously funny character WHY are you yelling at the young adult about your sisters illegal activities she doesn't know anything about it!!!!

Alderheart goes on an adventure

Feet inspector on the road!!!!

Jasper is so funny I love him

Omg what's he got against clan cats??? What's his sad backstory????

YEESSSS SPARKPELT MY LOVE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕

Sparkpelt your opinion sucks but I love you

I'm really really glad they had this moment this is really sweet, they hadn't talked for a while but this is genuine like, we hadn't had this sort of relationship in so long in the books with just, dialogue yknow??? THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THINGS

And the pause Sparkpelt takes between her speaking to fix what she's saying "I'm sorry for saving you :c no wait uhh not exactly but like" this is so good so natural so fun I love you sparkpelt

I get why she has a diferent opinion on Skyclan it's good for someone close to Alderheart to have a different mindset from him and for him to have someone like uh be opposites from him a lil yknow contrats his characteristics makes both siblings fun round and full of kitty do you get what I'm saying???

I love this

I love Sparkpelt, love her lil anxious moments, love her, love that she just wants to fool around with toms and enjoys Larksong but doesn't want to get serious you go girl

They wanted to write smart-ass they wanted to write smart-ass so bad

They're doing this in the rain?????

I'm quite certain Violetpaw is a young adult by this point its valid for her to go

Wh why did you let your cat out in the rain dude!!! When it comes back it's gonna dirty up the whole place it's wet out there!!!! And the cold is gonna get in the house!!!!!!!

I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH OH LORD

That was SO INTENSE AND SO FUNNY AND SO MUCH, IM SO GLAD SHE MADE IT I GOT SCARED

Oh this is so epic

That moment when your cat nearly dies and then it runs off and you go after it and then a bunch of other cats show up and start running with it

I hope Twigpaw can see the others soon

Glad to see her keeping her medicine cat knowledge ehehehe

???????

Sandynose I hate you you are so abled

Sandynose: I don't want my son to feel distanced from his peers so I'm distancing him from his peers

DOVEWING???

SANDYNOSE SHUT UP IM GOING TO KILL YOU ANS MURDER YOU

I'm so upset with Sandynose WHY isn't leafstar seeing this WHY DOESNG ANYONE SEE THIS SOMSONE PLEASE CONFORT AND LOVE MY CHILD TWIGPAW DOESNT DESERVE THIS

Angry sad upset why

Piscina

Thanks graystripe

Ok who's dying this time

Ok no one just a background cat got hurt he will survive otherwise it would be relevant

This was intense though what will happen now???

YES FINALLY

Oh this is lovely so good they're here!!! The rest of skyclan has arrived and we are all happy together

That dream felt good

NEEDLETAIL??? AGAIN

Where were you at!!!!

What!!!

Check this man's feet how many toes are there this could be good

What

Hegshahwha what the fuck is up with this guy

Okay I like him

Ohhh THATS tree

Change your name if you don't like it you sound trans already

Yeah nothing makes one smarter like dying

This is very fun I'm excited for more of whatever happening

Twigpaw :c

HIS SNIFFLES

Oh no

Hhhhnn I want Twigpaw to be happy so bad, I hate seeing her struggles

Sandynose you are so evil and very detested by me

You can and you SHOULD feel angry at Sandynose he SUCKS and he is being needlessly mean at you!!!!! There are much better ways to bring up the possibility that maybe you'd be happier with thunderclan!!! Fuck off Sandynose

Oh so Snowbush hasn't improved, maybe he will die?

Poor Alderheart

Oh fuck there he goes

Yeah

Aw man, rip to the background cat

That was a heavy death too

Aw, I was hoping the rest of Skyclan would show up before the gathering, maybe just after it???

I wonder what's going on in Shadowclan

TIGERHEARTS MISSING HUH???

The couple was kidnapped

HUH????

Oh my lord oh fuck

Can't anyone step up to lead why do they depend on Tigerheart so much???

Jesus christ

Alderheart kills his gods

This is so chaotic and funny I'm worried as hell for shadowclan but excited a lot is happening

HI TREE AGSGAHAH

Tawnypelt >:(

Puddleshine: WAIT DONT KICK HIM OUT, CHECK OUT HIS FREAKY FEET INSTEAD

Oh dear

Twigpaw :c

TWIGPAW :CCCC Man rememebr when I said I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure of being happy for others? yeah

GET OUT SANDYNOSE I DONT CARE YOURE BEING REASOMABLE FOR ONCE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LATER

:C

I'm so heartbroken for them

Uh pdhsgahab okay then

Bye finpaw

Wow that was easy for him

This is fun

I'm still sad as hell

Okay there's a lot going on right now wow

The owl scene was funny as hell to picture, this dramatic prophetic moment and the cats just "uuggh is that a prophecy??? Nooo"

Okay so

There's some shadowclan cats missing, considering the many sleekwhisker maps I'm sure she's up to no good but I have no clue what happened to the others and I hope they're okay

Wow! That was really something

Fantastic ending to a very good book its, definitely a different energy from the third but I'm really enjoying this I'm still excited as hell!!! I got worried things would get kinda bad from here but nope!!!! Very fun stuff for now this is very very good and I am enjoying it

This is definitely one of the most fun arcs I've read so far!!! The drama the stakes the little moments everything is tying together really well into a very fun story I'm enjoying a lot!

I worry for Twigpaw and hope for her happiness, and Violetshine too, hope her and Hawkwing deal well with missing her. Tree is being interesting. Alderheart wasn't much of a focus here but always fun to see him trying to solve the damn prophecy no leaders seem to care about. Mousewhisker was okay??? Lots of very fantastic turns for all events and uh let's see where this all goes next!!!

[janexeu]

     though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis  — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia 

seeing gods in dreams  — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS 

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time 

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if  they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!  

OTHER INFO 

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ?  the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh 

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting  

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if  y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her 

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk 

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

[soda-drabbles]

New Years Kiss // Dan Avidan x Reader

Synopsis : There has been a bit of space between you and Dan since you realized you had feelings for him, that space being divided by you as you try to make the persistent feelings dissolve. The feelings only fester and worsen as the New Years party comes up. There, you and Dan come face to face after all that time. Could this party break the ice once and for all?

Pairing : Dan Avidan x Reader

Type : Fluff

If you had to be honest, you were dreading the upcoming New Years party. You wouldn't have went if it weren't for Suzy, who you just couldn't say no to. Plus, this was a office party so it would be weird if you didnt come. You instead kept trying to reassure yourself that maybe it wouldnt be that bad. That things would be fine. Yet the same thought kept ringing in your mind; Dan.

Dan was a close friend of yours and someone who you kept growing feelings for. The first initial reaction to realizing this was rejection. You hated having feelings like this, especially for someone so close to you. It made things worse since you two worked together. Recently, you kept the distance between you two in hopes that the new feelings would dissolve. There were times where you could see Dan's face appear glum and it honestly made your heart sink more into your stomach but it'd be okay, right? This was for the best for the two of you. Things would go back to normal soon.

Hopefully.

Hours before the party began, you volunteered in helping Suzy and Arin with decorations. The three of you decorated the office in streamers of gold and black, assuring that the place captivated the New Year's spirit. During this, Suzy sparked up some conversation.

“So, (Y/N).” She approached you, handing you some things to sit on the neat tables where the snacks would be. “Are you excited for the New Year? Got any resolutions?”

You simply shrugged, “I guess? Its like any other year, isnt it?”

Suzy shrugged and went to place something else up, “What about you and Dan? ”

You froze a little. “..What about Dan?”

Suzy could easily tell she struck a soft spot, which was why she spoke a little nervously. “Well, you two have been acting a little weird around each other. I didn't know if you planned to..yknow. Fix that situation?”

Your fingers tapped at the table a little. “I..I dont know.”

Arin's voice called from the living room, almost intentionally. “Suzy! Can you help me with the sticker things? They won't stick.” He must've felt the tension growing and decided to keep it from escalating.

Suzy, still a bit worried, hesitantly nodded and joined her husband in the man room which left you back to your mind which was fogged with Dan.

The party came faster than you initially hoped and before you knew it, you were in your car driving to the office. Your fingers tapped the wheel. The car was silent, except the riddling white noise of your anxiety tugging at you. What were you going to do about Dan? It was inevitable that hed be there and you two would be facing each other eventually.

Your heart raced in your ribcage as you pulled into the driveway, eyes stuck on the house and fingers stuck; not moving. Dan would either be behind that door or on the way. Either way, it made things worse.

Still, you unstuck your fingers and got out of the car.

Immediately, you were greeted by Ross and Suzy, who eagerly greeted you and let you in.

“Welcome, (Y/N)!” Ross exclaimed, placing a cheap New Years party hat on your head sloppily. You laughed, fixing it. “Thanks, man. ”

So far, it wasnt that bad as you thought. Your first destination was the snack table where the punch was. Your hand reached for the ladel and found yourself brushing against someone. “Shit, I'm so-” Your eyes widened when you peered up, face to face with the giant lanky man himself. Dan.

He appeared both relieved and a little shocked to see you, but happy nevertheless. “Oh, hey.” Dan's thin lips tugged into a soft smile. “Its..good to see you.”

Still shocked yourself, you gulped a little. “..Its..good to see you too.” Quickly, you filled up your plastic cup with fruit punch and took your leave.

The night went on with you mostly hanging with Ross and Barry as a way to distract yourself from the whole Dan situation. It was fun watching the goofy guys play with the helium in the ballooms but Dan kept invading your mind. You didn't know why either. Why did this have to be such a big deal? This feeling was unbearable.

The time would come when the countdown commenced. Everyone gathered together for the intense moment. You simply took your spot at a corner of the room, where you leaned against the decorated wall with the plastic cup pressed against your lips.

You weren't alone for long, as you saw a tall shadow approach you out of the corner of your eye. Your heartbeat started up again as you had a suspicion of who the identity of the shadow was. When it spoke is when your suspicions were confirmed.

“..Why have you been avoiding me?” Dan's soft voice came through the background chattering and music of the party.

Refusing to look at him, you shrugged. “I have no idea what youre talking about.”

Rightfully, he was frustrated. “Im not stupid, (Y/N). You've been avoiding me for the past month and you didn't even tell me what I done wrong.”

His last comment caused you to finally look at him, your own frustrated look clouding your features. “You didnt do anything wrong, Dan.”

“Then what is it?” He asked, obviously confused.

With a moment of hesitation, you whispered. “Its me.”

“..What?”

“Its me!” You spoke a little louder, using your arm to cover your face. “Fuck, I'm stupid..”

Dan frowned and removed his free hand from his pocket to place it on your shoulder. “What's wrong? What are you talking about?”

While you kept silent, the countdown from five began.

Five.

“..Its.” How could you possibly say something like this? Do it and risk everything? He'd avoid you for sure wouldn't he? Your negative thoughts fought you from telling him. “You wouldn't like it.”

Four.

“Come on,” Dan said, moving in front of you. His voice was closer now. “I still want to know, regardless.”

Three.

You could feel his towering presence in front of you. Your cheeks were red and you were thankful colorful lights danced around the party, otherwise what you wanted to say would be obvious. The feeling was building up again.

Two.

Dan grew a little desperate. “Please.” In a moment like this, it was getting harder and harder to dismiss him anymore. Your heart longed to jump out and let your feelings speak themselves. Eventually, you gave in.

“Dan, I..” Taking another deep inhale, you bury your face in his chest and the muffled confession came out. “I love you.”

Words that would leave Dan speechless.

One.

Among the cheering and kissing couples, you felt like crying. Dan wasn't doing anything and it only made you worry. After a moment, you pulled away a little with the intent to run off, only for the tall man to brig his arms around you.

“Dont go.” His arms held you back against his chest, fingers pressed against your back. His sudden grip surprised you. What surprised you even more is when the warm touch of his hands moved from your hand to each sides of your face, which he gently cradled and raised to face you.

Against the dancing lights, your blush and wide eyes spoke out to him and made him smile. The smile that only made you grow redder each time. “Why didnt you just say so?” His soft voice expressed in a sweet whisper before pulling you into an embrace.

You imagined plenty of times what kissing Danny would feel like. It was so much softer and warmer than you once imagined. Once you both pulled away, Dan hugged you once again and this time, you hugged back.

Suzy, unbeknownst to the both of you, was watching with a satisfied smile. She leaned against her husbands side and turned back to the TV.

Happy New Years.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok hmmmm fake dating art school au with Malec, Claia, Lukemaryse and (platonic, obviously) garrowbane where hmmm magnus is with an ex at the start and tries setting up Luke with people

well this got really cracky really fast

okay so im gonna go ahead and say that i have no idea how art school works in the US so for the sake of My Convenience™ imma go with the way it is in Brazil, which is "there are numerous kinds of arts going on in the same institute/college"

so im thinking..... clary obviously is doing visual arts, painting, whatever its called (this is probably where i should warn you that i know nothing about visual arts). maia is not really an arts major, but she's doing a course on technical/scientific drawing since shes a biology major and that's useful for her field studies. magnus is on the same course, except hes like an engineering major really. im a slut for inventor Magnus so yeah he wants to be an engineer to develop new kinds of technology so technical drawing is important for him. meliorn (watch me slip meliorn in literally everything i can) is a theatre major, and Luke and Maryse r both studying music

Luke and Maryse r older and like idk how common that is in the US but here in Brazil some ppl (spec retired ppl) come back to college to study something they have Always Wanted To but that wouldnt bring them money. i know that the whole "no free college" thing makes that harder but they can be post-graduates i guess. or Luke is and maryse is a regular major but shes a super rich hotshot lawyer who after the divorce decided to be less stuck up and dedicate herself to things she enjoys, and since shes rich, she has the money to do a major or a music course just for fun

anyway! Magnus is the kind of guy whos friends with everyone from all ages and courses. he quickly becomes friends with maia (shes on his course after all) and meliorn (who is a theatre major but takes classes in everything they can because.... they can)

i just realized maia/meliorn has a LOT of brotp potential but ok anyway

magnus and maia bond greatly over their shared interests (yeah shes a biologist and hes an engineer but magnus' interests vary a lot and also hes a fan of biochemistry. they also have relatively similar life stories and a similar sense of humor, even if maia is sharper at the edges - which is something Magnus likes, really. she's fierce and fun and unafraid and he wishes he were more like her sometimes. they have a mutual admiration and kind of protection pact). meliorn on the other hand is kind of the local queer cryptid in a way, which of course means magnus immediately befriends him, and Maia is just delighted at how much of a trickster they are. magnus also likes meliorn a lot because they're so... chill and easy and unbothered by social conventions to the point of being nearly unaware, which makes Magnus feel so comfortable. and meliorn thinks Magnus is interesting, and they all get along.

maia kind of brings luke into the group. luke is kind of maia's adoptive uncle. she lives alone but once she ran away from home luke was super nice and helpful and also one of the ppl who most encouraged her to go after her major like she wanted

luke and maia are clearly close and have each other's backs, but they also tease each other a lot. so when one day luke teases maia over her crush on clary, she retaliates by looking DIRECTLY at meliorn and being like "he's just jealous. did you ppl know he hasnt been on a single date in years" and meliorn, who thrives on the chaos, is like "oooh we should set him up" and magnus of course jumps at the opportunity

so the three of them keep trying to set ppl up with luke, and it just ...... never works. like doesnt come even close to working. its kind of a disaster actually. its awkward, it never clicks, and at this point luke is begging them to stop but you know thats not gonna happen. so as a last resort, luke lies that he's dating a woman from class. cue him asking maryse, whom hes never talked to in his life but is the only eligible woman his age at class, to like, please do him a solid. and maryse is just so shocked by this random (but handsome) man's life, shes like. lmao sure. look shes a post-divorce woman she wants to be free and cease giving fucks

and maryse kind of has fun pretending to date luke, but she's a busy woman and she doesnt hang out with them often, and they are like [BANGING POTS AND PANS] WE WANT TO ACTUALLY MEET HER

and luke is all like "well maybe if all of yall singles got dates we could have a date together otherwise get out" so maia asks clary out purely out of spite and turns out it works, but Magnus and Meliorn are like "uuuuhhhhh,,,,,,," so meliorn is like "what if we pretend to be together lmao" and Magnus is like shit we're gonna do that aren't we

i know its not exactly Magnus having an ex but look im struggling to put all of this together okay udhdhdbd also im not big on the whole "breaking up because of someone else" trope ya feel

god this is just the setup for malec to meet, im,,,, a mess

so anyway Magnus and Meliorn are determined to totally sell this to luke (maia knows its a scam of course, she can smell bullshit from miles away). and luke and maryse are also totally determined to sell this cuz everyone is an idiot. so they keep having, like,,,,, dates together, until eventually they kind of become a solid group of friends. they all welcome maryse and are really impressed by how critical she is of her pre-divorce self and how it did wonders for her, they think shes really strong. she even shares about how she struggled with her son being gay and her daughter deciding to become a forensic pathologist instead of a lawyer like her, you know. in short they all become good friends

so now everyone (but maia and clary who are happy and drama free and laughing their butts off at Magnus and Meliorn) is in a difficult situation because now theyre all friends! what are they gonna do, confess it was a scam all along? pretend to break up and make the whole thing awkward? they're trapped in their fake dating and it looks like they're just gonna have to, like ... deal with it

and in luke and maryse's situation it's even more complicated because they are kind of getting into each other, and theyre like groaning because theyre grown ass adults they shouldn't be living this trope. and yet

anyway as they become closer they start going to maryse's (shes the only one with a large enough place) and that's when Magnus meets Alec and meliorn meets izzy

which,,,,, despair

because they had been doing a great job of fake dating so far, excuse you, they are partners in crime. they're a well oiled lying machine and they work together flawlessly. magnus is not even a good liar but shit if meliorn didnt teach him every trick on how to not technically lie, and also they are very close and the kind of ppl who are comfortable with sharing affection, so yeah they drape their arms on each others shoulders and hold hands and kiss each others cheeks NO PROBLEM but now theyre both interested in someone else

hell, theyre both interested in maryse's kids

fuck

shit

goddamn

meliorn is all like "i told you we should have pretended to have an open relationship" and Magnus is like luke KNOWS im monogamous he would KNOW we're lying and meliorn is like FUCK and maia and clary are losing their shits

meanwhile luke and maryse are becoming more and more domestic and oblivious to the world. they will b like "you kids put the movie on, we'll make dinner" and be all like fluffy asshole

izzy quickly picks up that its a scheme cuz shes smart, and flirts with meliorn when maryse isnt around, while Alec is like SHIT dude i cant believe ur into a TAKEN MAN what the fuck kind of sad gay stereotype r u

but their pull is like,,, stronk and they frequently find themselves getting lost in their own little world and lowkey flirting and just being a liiiiil too close (especially in alecs case since hes like ..... stoic extraordinaire) and then theyre like AH SHIT WAIT and they jump and pretend nothings happening

and look, izzy would tell Alec about the scam, but she's, como se dice...... having way too much fun at his expense. she and meliorn start dating on like day 1 and make a pact to see how long they can keep the act up and enjoy the show

maia and clary have eaten their combined weight in popcorn by this point

the intrigue. the chaos. the misunderstandings

it gets more and more ridiculous as time goes by but Magnus is still determined to yknow keep the act up and not expose his and meliorn's lies

they just,,,,,,, live like this

it lasts for so long

like ..... months of ridiculousness

and alec is suffering because hes into a taken man whos obviously very in love with his partner and he feels guilty and all of that shit

and magnus just.... doesnt know what to do with his predicament. look he has anxiety this was a bad idea how is he gonna walk up to Alec and b like "hey so I'm not really dating meliorn it was all a scam so we could spy on luke and ur mom but it went too far" and the more time passes the more awkward it gets

the dam probably breaks when magnus finds meliorn and izzy on a date on accident, and hes like rjrhrjrjdnc SO THEY KNOW???? and meliorn is like nah only izzy knows we wanted to see how long itd take for u and alec to get ur shit together. and magnus is like oh my god and meliorn is like "in my defense i didnt think it would take literal months!!!!!! and then it started to feel awkward to just tell you to go for it"

so magnus is like FINE i guess i will TELL ALEC and ask him if he wants to DATE ME IN SECRET so we can keep NOT HAVING TO CONFESS WE LIED TO HIS MOM

and then i guess he tells Alec???? and he still isnt sure whether or not Alec likes him so he isnt planning to ask him out immediately afterwards, just, you know, let him in on the secret, and Alec is like "dude my mom is lying too" and Magnus is like what she and luke are like married

anyway knowing about that gives them full permission to come out as lying bitches so they're like "how dare you lie to us like this.. but also we did the same thing"

eventually luke actually asks maryse out

i dont even know whats happening anymore god im done

this is your fault anon

if anyone wants to actually write this, feel free rjrhdjdn honestly id read it

[mothpile]

OK IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT SMOKEWEED AND THEIR CHARACTER ARC AND STORY AND SHIT. ERINS WISH THEY WERE ME WITH MY FANTASTIC STORY TELLING.

smokeweed starts off as a rogue named smoke, who was kicked out of their home by their mom when they were around the apprentice age bcoz that’s just the way rogues seem to work. Anyhow, Smoke ends up finding the clans. They quickly become fascinated by the fact all these cats seem to work together so well, a contrast to the cruel “only help yourself” world their mother taught them.

One of their days of observing in thunderclan actually gets them caught by a patrol, where they are then brough back to the base to be questioned. A bit of talking happens here, and the clan offers to let Smoke join them as they seem curious and r also like. just an Apprentice this is a Three Year Old theyre not gonna kick them out and stuff. So Smoke becomes Smokepaw. Smoke views this as an example of how nice the clans are, and feel genuinely accepted among their ranks. 

Over the span of their months of training though, Smokepaw’s perfect view upon the clans begins to .... shatter. horribly. It begins a bit with their confusion over why the clans seem to want to guard their borders so much. Smokepaw thought that they all worked together, no? But the explanation for this they get is that “Everyone has an equal amount of land to hunt in, and it’s important to make sure no one tries to... break that boundary. If others start coming into our territory to hunt our stuff, we won’t have enough food for ourselves!” which to Smokepaw...makes enough sense to them. at the time. 

It’s when Smokepaw gets to go to their first Gathering, a real moment to interact with other clans. They immediately start getting friendly with other clan apprentices, specifically one from Shadowclan named Patchpaw. (Patchpaw is ... curious about Smokepaw’s friendliness, which gets her to think maybe Smokepaw’s trying to use her for information about her clan, but... quickly realizes Smokepaw is just being nice). Anyhow, smokepaw ends up leaving the gathering believing they have properly made friends with alll the other apprentices. 

They’re quickly taught this is not the case when they bring it up once to another thunderclan apprentice. The apprentice tells smokepaw that “no, you’re not really friends with them. you can never be! what if we go to battle against their clan? would you fight them then? how would you remain loyal to us if you think your enemies you’re supposed to be attacking are your friends?” . This sends Smokepaw into their first big dilemma spiral. They cant understand why the clans would fight each other. They cant understand what’s why having friends outside of their clan would be such a big deal. So, for the first time, Smokepaw finds themself questioning the way the clans are running everything.

It’s during a hunt they were on near the shadowclan border when smokepaw runs into Patchpaw again. They talk, and Smokepaw ends up asking if they really are friends. Patchpaw is caught a bit off guard by this, but. well. when she hesitantly says “i... dont know? im pretty sure youre not supposed to be that with other clans” . which gets smokepaw to ask Why. patchpaw gives the same answer (well. what if our clans Fight eachother). smokepaw asks Why would that happen. patchpaw goes . um. well. over prey i guess? and smokepaw asks again Why. why would there have to be bloodshed over that. there’s enough prey for everyone, isnt there? patchpaw replies “i mean. sometimes theres not? so maybe cats would go try and steal from other clans for food.” and smokepaw asks “wait but wouldnt it make sense to all work together at a time like that? why would you compete at a serious crisis like that. wouldn’t it be more logical to get everyone to work together to make sure every cat who needs food Gets it rather than fight over scraps??” and. This Is The First Time Patchpaw ends up questioning the code. Unsure of how to respond, Patchpaw finds herself Agreeing with what smokepaw has just said. The two agree to meet up again sometime, and , well, friendship. and gay rights. but we’ll get there a bit later i think

Time goes on, Smokepaw ends up nearing the day they become a full on warrior, but time and time again the clans have proved themselves to be dumb as all shit. Their enthusiasm and energy has drained away, leaving them tired and bitter. They still meet up with Patchpaw and stuff. At this point smokepaw rlly does love her. One day, while smokepaw’s hanging around other fellow thunderclan apprentices, one of them asks if smokepaw Likes anyone. yknow. just fun Banter. smokepaw, who doesnt Know at this point you’re not supposed to like cats from other clans that way, lets it slip that they like 1 of the apprentices in shadowclan. this. Does not go well. really it’s just home of phobia at its finest. Obviously the apprentices snitch to the higher ups, and Smokepaw receives a whole lecture about the ‘Importance of the warrior code’ and how ‘yeah you’re not a Real clan cat so of course you cant understand how IMPORTANT the code is’. this is something told to them by the LEADER. a scolding from the Big Boss. and this ends up bein the Final Straw for smokepaw. they fucking go ham and SNAP. yknow how ive gone off about the Issues w/ warrior cats? yeah they do That basically. 

So they have their mini-revolution moment, dragging out all of the clans faults in the form of speech. Obviously other cats end up hearing their rant, and are all...unsure about what to do about this. Smokepaw ends their rant by now rejecting the name the clan has given them, and swears that the clans will all tear themselves apart by their own claws. or smthing like that. smthing over the top and Dramatic along the lines of ‘ouroboros eating itself” and whatnot. 

Smoke quits the clan and runs away. Before leaving the territories though, they do try to find patchpaw. at this point, patchpaw has been promoted to patchpelt. Smoke tells patchpelt about everything that has happened, and how theyre leaving. They ask if patchpelt wants to run away with them. Patchpelt is too conflicted to answer this, and ends up saying she cant leave behind her life like that. Smoke is obviously a bit.... saddened. Devastated if you will by this. But they understand, and leave patchpelt behind.

Patchpelt, who was a warrior, quickly finds herself getting tired by the clans bs. She tries to switch her path to become a medicine cat to fix the problem, hoping now she wont have to tag along with the whole “fighting eachother over nothing” shit, but it doesnt work. She..... regrets not running away with smoke. practically everyday. 

Smoke, while away, goes on a series of journeys and what have you. to TL;DR it, they end up meeting Midnight and become a bit of an apprentice to her and learn. a LOT. smoke Super Woke now. They also find a kit/apprentince along their journey, a 3 legged bastard of a gremlin cat named Three, who they end up taking care of. There is also another kid Smoke adopts named Rattail, who. as her name implies, has a... rat tail. Rattail is a bit scarred all over so they have a lotta bare patches of skin and what have you. Somewhere down the line, smoke decides to name themself Smokeweed out of a funni ‘haha. like Weed the drug’ and in a bit of a spite move against the clans.

Some More Time down the road, Smokeweed actually comes back to the clans to see what’s going on. It happens to be they’ve stopped by at a time all the clans are at each others throats. They have a reuinting moment with Patchpelt, who now is like “oh god please for the love of god get me out of here” . so they run off together for Realizies now. 

This lil family ends up settlin down at the Church place in that. Tigerheart Superedition book. personally i like thts a Nice Place and think it’s a fitting and sweet end to let the 4 all get to.. settle down. be happy and safe away from the clans and all their bs. they just Vibe..... and life is good for them. thats the End. <3

[thrumples]

SPN S15 Live-blogging: Episode 1

spoilers under the cut

- i’m only on the intro. what the FUCK is up with this editing?? - it’s just zooming in on people’s faces with this fuckin wack song playing in the bg - this makes the s14 finale look like a joke - ok here we actually go - 1:49– it opens on jack’s burnt out eyes that’s fucking disgusting - 1:55– im sorry i really can’t take this seriously with this song asfkskskshsdhskskjlsh - 2:40– bro wtf how strong is cas?? he just Yoinked jack’s body up off the ground with like no effort - man i. i really can’t take this shit seriously with this song - 3:13– ok we finally got to the intro. i actually kinda like this title card, it’s very glowy - 3:30– askfhsks these zombies are just. Striding right up to the crypt door. no dramatic stumbling or anything they’re literally just walking. they are making some neat zombie noises tho - i miss when this show used to be good - 4:27– i forgot to turn my subtitles on until now and then was smacked in the face with “cass” - 5:31– what is up with this random camera zooming - 5:54– dean stop shouting - i got so used to the wonderful writing of good omens that i got kinda knocked off my feet here with how much this show has gone downhill - 7:02– WOAH HANG ON HANG HANG ON JACK WTF ARE YOU DOING - “hello!” BRUH IM LOSING IT - he’s a DEMOn AKDHAJSGSNSISGAKHSKBSKH - 8:01– “my name is Belphegor” bruh WHAT is going ON - “you’re an abomination with that stupid dumb trench coat” he’s not wrong the olive green makes him look terrible - 8:35– those sunglasses, i can’t take him seriously in those sunglasses man - 9:50– *angrily* “we are not twinsies” i really didn’t think i’d hear cas say that - bel looks like he just came back from the area 51 raid - 11:10– oh they’re all dead! fun - 11:38– bruh that transition i can’t even deal with this goddamn show anymore - 11:52– this is not how regular teenage girls talk to each other - 11:56– tHats not how cellphones work either - 12:16– “divorce is awesome” - 12:43– when did this show start getting worse? i think it was season 6 - it certainly keeps getting even worse - i feel like i’m watching riverdale - also what’s up with all these disney ads - 13:48– the subtitles call him Bel and since i can’t remember or pronounce his actual name that’s the only way i’m gonna refer to him from now on - 14:42– ooh! red paint! - 14:48– whoever is in charge of the music for this show should be fired - 15:22– AW HELL YEAH WOMAN IN WHITE WE GOIN BACK TO THE PILOT EPISODE BABEY - 15:46– why does jared constantly look like he’s about to start crying - 16:17– that is a BIG ASS GARAGE - 17:00– i feel like that kid should be freaking out a whole lot more than she actually is - like she’s just kinda crying, if i was in that situation i would be curled up in a ball on the floor screeching - 17:31– this feels like a car ad - 17:45– sir please stop snarling you’re making me uncomfortable - also is he wearing a sock on his head? - 18:25– well fuck that i guess we don’t get to see what happens - 18:54– crowley jr - 19:53– can bel, like,,,, see? he doesn’t have eyes but he saw dean put the gun away,,, - 20:10– “so people are like, crazy good-looking now, huh?” bel you’ve just become my new fav demon - 20:19– dean that was the exact same reaction i had - 20:46– is bel bi - 21:15– “he was our kid” - idek what i wanted to write for that i just wanted to put that down - 21:53– yknow sam most people don’t like it when you just. open their doors and come in with a shotgun - also why are these people leaving their doors unlocked - 22:07– these houses are extremely cookie-cutter, they have the same furniture and everything - also wtf is up with these random pulsating noises i can’t tell if it’s supposed to be a heartbeat or not - 22:37– oh look more red paint - wait is this the house with the sockhead clown? - 23:04– so the ghosts just kinda. only showed up in this one specific town huh - don’t some of them have relics that they’re supposed to be attached to? - also this is completely off track but uhh WHO REMEMBERS THAT GHOST FROM SEASON 1 THAT THEY TRAPPED IN THE SEWER BUT NEVER KILLED?? BC THAT MF IS STILL FUCKIN THERE - 23:22– bloody mary just looks like she’s wearing a shitty Party City costume - 23:53– bruh how did those two get up onto that shelf in the time before the clown got into the garage?? - also how long have they been up there?????? - OH SHIT THE CLOWN i definitely didn’t see this coming - /s - 24:36– oh shit sam actually got cut - also quit singing dude you’re off-key - 24:47– AYY CAS COMIN IN TO SAVE SAM’S ASS - hang on my subtitles stopped working - 25:22– “move your exquisite ass Please” - 25:45– oh we got s4 references - 26:30– “wait every door? even the cage?” WHAT - WAIT HANG ON - THAT MEANS - ADAM!!!!!! - 27:07– alright cas i’m pretty sure you just completely shifted this woman’s spirituality - 27:30– sam you can’t just talk about shooting god in front of other people - 28:00– uhhhh eXcuse mE was that DEMON SAMMY - sam: receives a mortal wound that contains properties he’s never seen before - also sam: “i’m fine” - 28:43– oh no something’s about to happen to this poor sheriff - 28:48– I HATE IT WHEN IM RIGHT - 29:27– goddamnit what is up with these stupid pulsating noises?? - bel: sees dead body - bel: “cool” - also i’ve gotten the same migrane medication ad like three times while watching this - 30:05– i guess you could technically call this town a ghost town now - 30:54– lmao that throw looked Super fuckin fake - 31:01– *menacingly shimmies toward ghost with shotgun* - 31:03– “it’s okay, it’s just one ghost” how do i know that something’s gonna grab that kid and drag her right into that pond - 31:26– ASJSHSKHJSYBKSJSK cas just looks so pissed off about being shot - 31:40– local demon thinks he can deter a spirit by saying “bad ghost” - 32:16– well technically i was wrong and right bc something came out of the pond but it grabbed the mom - also is this kid okay? - 32:36– bel says “anime” - 34:14– hey sam maybe you should check how many shotgun shells you have left before you try to take on 4 ghosts at once - better yet why don’t you RUN OVER THE LINE WHERE THEY CAN’T KILL YOU - 35:02– ghost: *screams in sam’s face bc it’s mad that it’s stuck* - sam: “shut up” - my video quality just hella dropped in the middle of an ad break i hope this doesn’t last - nvm it’s cause i’m on the wrong internet lmao hang on a sec - 36:23– why does no one let cas do anything - 36:38– are they about to kiss - 36:45– nope dean just wanted to be a dick - bel says what we’re all thinking - 37:48– can we like. make sam get an x-ray or something to see if the bullet is still in his arm - 37:58– dean you are spilling that disinfectant All over the car trunk - 39:04– dean’s getting existential - 39:52– sam: “for the first time, it’s just us” - cas: do i look like a joke to you - also i think my subtitles are broken - 40:46– AYY MORE PILOT FLASHBACKS

final thoughts: that was,,, kind of a lot better than i thought it would be? the first ten minutes were kinda shit but then Bel showed up and absolutely made my day

[unproduciblesmackdown]

posts about things with absolutely no introduction but it's because i was reminded of the topic the other day

this one's for those of us in the lifelong isolation no friends society, i know sometimes there's other people out there!! anyways i've been thinking about how like, personally, obviously, b/c idk how other ppl do it b/c we aren't friends with each other lol, its just a fuckin wild thing to deal with in part cuz its one of those answers to which there's not necessarily any Right Way to handle things or Answer or Solution or anything. isolation p much = more isolation and plus not having friends makes ppl less likely to socialize with you so that's rough; anyways yknow, the point is just oops you can't Choose to like, obtain a friend. u can try to get ppl interested but you can't control it beyond that, so, yknow

anyways what am i getting to? yeah so i've never had close friends in that i was never able to share personally honest things anyways for the longest time for a couple reasons, and also, people just didn't like me. the double whammy of "oh no its abuse" and "oh no you're lowkey socially ostracized by your peers from preschool on without end" is like, good luck to little me getting friends! i had sort-of friends in like a couple ppl who'd hang out with me regularly and on occasion we'd go to each others houses or smthing but it wasnt able to be like, the normal fun event it should. oh well. middle school was a little better and a little worse but i didnt keep up w ppl cuz i went to a different school later and its that situation where you're friends-ish Because you're at the same school right...smh...didnt thrive in college magically, but one essential thing was i was away from home more often than not so, that was real important ultimately. but anyways in the end i had like a handful of college friends-ish (accepted by other friends groups lol) and theres a couple of them i still talk to now and again

so like, yknow, friends, mostly friendly acquaintances, my siblings i'd classify as friendly acquaintances, i'm very glad about all of them really. just unfortunately i've only just started to have friendships that are like a decade old and the "longtime close" friendship is nonexistent b/c college is just four years and then you go other places, and i'm not at the heart of friend groups and not "good" at communication in other ways so its hard to keep in touch in ways. smh!!

funnily enough i'm also not good at internet stuff though it's been absolutely essential, god knows. that's why i'm able to talk to anyone rn!! but i can't do group chats and i only like approaching things "one on one" aka i don't like feeling like im in the midst of a group even outside group chats. if you get what i'm saying. like even back being in the small early mh fandom of like, three dozen ppl, in retrospect i didnt like having to be in the entire Group yknow. lemme just be over here. which is what i do now.

anyways for additional reasonsl, communicating has been trickier these past few years and for the most part its been kind of a situation where i wasn't necessarily going to get to talk to someone every day, though usually it'd maybe only be like, a gap of a day or two. and anyways, the thing is that, over the past ten years especially its started to be Distressing like wanting friends, not as much having them, and also having it be more obvious that there was some kind of deficiency keeping me from having (and having had) friends like other people did. not fun! but what i'm getting around to here, whats been wild, is just this like, decade-ish (or two decade-ish if you want) Personal Effort to just figure out how the fuck to stop having to feel like shit about it all the time right? then you're lonely AND stressed and probably self loathing also

so like yeah, the thing is that the other day something was going on about like, yknow, the idea of the longtime close friend with a steadfast presence in your life, and that's just always like, lfjdglmao what!!! sounds nice. i had a friend for a week in second grade and im not sure we ever spoke and then the teacher made us sit on opposite sides of the classroom and it was too embarrassing to be friends anymore. that's kinda close but lol for real......it's not only the lack of friends to tackle but also like, i don't assume to have friends in the future. it's something that like, i would obviously theoretically want, and be happy if it happened, but i can't say i hope for it, because that implies too much being expectant or whatever. and it's weird!! its a weird time just kind of presuming friendlessness until otherwise occurs. and it's not great, i'm definitely still unhappy about all this shit. its just that i've also like, been able to shave off how distressing the issue mightve been in earlier years yknow

like it sounds all depressing to say like, i've just had to be less emotionally invested in the whole thing, but it's kind of true. not by ignoring it or ignoring the feelings so much as like...just acknowledging that this is how it is and there's only so much i can do but not hating myself about it is a start. and yeah it's like "oh, feeling less, depressing" but also frankly when i decided also that its less horrible to be friendless than to feel stuck w crap ppl / ppl who you aren't too important to / etc, i figured that i'd also rather be friendless and just enjoy being myself than try to make myself easier to talk to. i'm not like intimidating or anything, i just can't hold a conversation. but i'm not very interested anymore in trying to convince ppl to like me, yknow, i'm out here, and if i'm ever going to have friends i'd like them to be people to like me For Who I Am, wipe tear. what i'm just saying is "a weird dumbass" b/c its just vague social weirdness that ppl don't necessarily like, loathe, but probably they'd rather talk to someone else. i'm not great at socializing stuff, like i said, hence social rejection since age 4

oh and i meant to say!! i've been able to turn up my emotions by turning down my investment in the idea of Needing To Always Be Trying To Make Friends b/c, as anyone might know, all i like to do is talk at great length about whatever weird, niche shit i'm into at any given point. and that's pretty much it. i'm not pretending to be deep by not really knowing how to do small talk. lmao you guys know what i'm talking about. and obviously not everybody is into Getting Enthusiastic or super focused on whatever weird thing at any point, and i'm not Into getting my passion all fired up and being brushed off or anything, so we can all avoid each other, and i get to continue entertaining myself

so that's a way i've been able to turn my feelings up actually lol.....dunno how to segue into it so i won't but it's also just like, not saying that i Truly Don't Care about not having friends, or that it doesn't hurt that i've had this relative friendless past and the futures looking bleak, b/c it does!! it's still distressing. but like, its turned down. the whole general issue can be a very Bitter one for sure!!!! and it has been in the past sometimes and like.....it's still there basically, i've just been able to turn down the volume a lot on a bunch of these shit feelings like "that's upsetting" or "i'm bitter about that" and just kind of calmly let it simmer back down b/c i'm sort more familiarish with what sets it off and more familiar with Dealing With It Always overall

no idea if i've made the point i was setting out for there. dealing with the No Friends Isolation Life society life is not fun but we're out here, sometimes. it continues to be not fun. "oh well," is an often relevant sentiment. c'est la vie. c'est ce que c'est? i think. and i think it's nice that after years and years of just like, struggling to figure this shit out myself, and probably feeling like shit most of the time, i've at least managed to go "shh" at some Bad Feelings. definitely still there. but this time it doesn't heap extra shittiness on top b/c of having to deal with the intensity of it and feel bad about that too etc etc. it's all weird! getting more familiar with dealing with some shit which is just, the way that it is in part because of bad luck and of course i'm jealous of everybody who does have friends. but oh well. b/c c'est la vie. im also glad for everybody who has friends, obv. it's all complicated!! which is just part of why this post exists. it has no real point, i'm just kinda going like, weird, huh? and kind of good, and kind of a bummer. oh well

also im aware this is a suddenly long, technically depressing post at like circa midnight for a lot of people, but basically this is just me in normal mood. sometimes it's depressing posts time out of nowhere, but i'm not especially depressed!! nighttime is just more of my Peak Hours. night owl 4 life. thanks

oh and ps. another thing i would think about (with more distress in the past, and like, no distress now) is that its also funny cuz, one thing i’ve generally had to do is be aware that it’s a bigger deal for you (me) to get a new Friend than it is for them to be getting you as a friend, b/c math says so. and so i’ve had to push myself to not be overly hopeful or invested in order to be both fair to them and myself. and nowadays that’s just kind of how i view the no-friends-ness of it all, like. i’m not mad that i’m not for some reason way closer to anybody i know. why would i be. and i don’t expect anybody to think like “oh my god we have to be Good Friends” because like. not in a self deprecating way but like, why would any random person want that. and i dont expect to be better friends with ppl im just casual friends with, which is great, cus like Friendly Acquaintances and other lite friendships are fantastic and im very grateful. but i am aware there’s plenty of reasons making it difficult to just like, pick up a Close Buddy and i’m not like “oh i demand one from somewhere, from some reason.” so what i am trying to say is that keeping my expectations honestly realistic is an effort to be fair to both other ppl and myself and i think it works. no friends!! we out here!!!!

[solidburnreturned]

Talking about Mack and Pepper and their whole relationship arc I wanna get all my thoughts on them organized...its long but i think its p good

they met at a pop-up party when pepper was 18 and mack was 19...pepper was like wooOOAAAHAHAHHFGJDK like she couldn’t handle how pretty mack was she was head over heels. she was rly shy around her but mack was friendly and invited her to dance and they hung out till the party stopped and mack rode away with the party crew. pepper was like holy shit i gotta. date her

they got closer over time, becoming better and better friends, hanging out with their friend group but also by themselves in the bar pepper likes to hang in or mack’s pod or whatever. pepper is just falling so in love with her but shes kinda starting to think that mack isn’t interested/out of her league so shes like..internally conflicted. meanwhile mack does think pepper is cute and sweet but knows that pepper is more interested in long term stuff while mack is way more into flings, one nighters, casual stuff yknow. so she doesn’t wanna lead her on or get wrapped up in some messy relationship stuff. she DOES like pepper tho and is frustrated that shes like...one troll that she feels like she can’t get her player hands on

eventually pepper is just losing her mind like she has been pining for this one girl for YEARS, she is 22 and needs to either MOVE ON or ASK HER OUT and she knows she doesnt wanna move on so shes like “HAHA hey....do u wanna.....get beer and nachos tonight at the bar with me........” and mack is like sure lol because they do that like all the time and pepper is like OH WOW....SHE SAID YES not at all aware that mack thinks this is just another friend thing

so theyre at the bar eating and drinking watching the other trolls doing karaoke and mack is chillin but pepper is freaking....and mack is like lol are u okay whats up and pepper is like uhhhhhdfgfbhjdsfnvd WANT ANOTHER ROUND??? I DO!! ALSO LETS GO DANCE!! and mack is like lol sure.. mack can hold her alcohol p well but pepper is a lot smaller so mack is like girl u need to chill ur gonna get Sloppy and pepper starts to kinda ramble about her gay ass feelings but only vaguely and mack thinks its rly cute and funny cuz she’s like at the same level of buzzed as pepper so theyre like hee hawing it up and pepper is like do u uhhhhhhh wanna get outta here and tipsy mack goes against her better judgement and is like sure lets chill at my pod lol

yall already know whats goin on

next morning mack wakes up and there is a snoring pepper in her bed and mack is like oh fuck what have i done. jesus. she like freaking but before she can skedaddle pepper wakes up and shes like starry eyed, rambling about how awesome last night was, telling mack how amazing and smart and pretty pepper thinks she is, all this gushy stuff and mack is like....smiling but super stressed like oh fuck what have i done to this poor girl,, and finally pepper is like “uhmm do u wanna like....be girlfriends....i would love to be ur girlfriend i actually love you so much and i have for years” and mack is like SCREECHING internally and she just kinda. blurts out “no” and pepper is immediately floored like punch to the gut levels of unexpected replies

mack tries to explain that last night was a mistake and that she knew that pepper had a crush on her but didnt think she was THIS into her and now mack feels rly bad about getting her hopes up with last night, she wasnt thinking straight, she regrets it, shes not interested in anything long term, she thinks pepper is awesome, but she just doesnt think they want the same things in life rn. pepper is like dying inside the whole time and starts like SOBBING and mack is like aaaaa im rly sorry i dont know,, what to do,, she just kinda sits there awkwardly cause she doesnt know how to help and shes rly not used to being in this kind of situation where she feels so unsure of herself. pepper is like im just. gonna go im so fuckin sorry and mack is just like fgjhkhjhk....ok later,,

so pepper is destroyed! she feels like shes wasted years not getting romantically involved with any other trolls in hopes that she’ll have a chance with mack but here she is. shes not feeling friendzoned or anything she just feels stupid and rly depressed and so broken hearted like shes just lying around in her pod for days her friends are like ???? what happened whats wrong :((( and shes just like dfdksjak she cant even deal with anything she just wants 2 wallow. shes like slowly turning grey and bismuth is eventually like okay wtf is the matter for real we’re best friends u need to talk to me right now im like not leaving. so pepper explains everything and shes looking a mess and bismuth is like :) im gonna go talk 2 mack for u and pepper is like DO NOT bitch do NOT do that ive screwed things up enough. so theyre like fine but u for real need to go outside and shower and eat and just. its not the end of the world fr

while pepper is trying to pull herself together mack is back on her fling thing but shes like....not rly getting the same satisfaction as she was before? like its not as fun, it feels weird. shes frustrated and is starting to regret her regret and is like hghgngh....i miss?? pepper?? shes like dammit i rly messed up but she also doesnt wanna be jerking pepper around by her heartstrings so shes conflicted as to what to do.. but then she sees how hard pepper is taking it like she even had a pop up party organized to be right where she knew pepper would be, at the bar, and she is like horrified that pepper did not move from her seat the whole time like she could care less, it even seemed to make her feel worse?? mack is just like holy hell what have i done to this poor troll

eventually mack can absolutely not stand seeing pepper looking so almost grey and depressed or hearing her sing her sad fuckin songs (especially uhhhh this one,,) and she sends her an invitation to a sleepover, something they used to do all the time when they were close, and pepper is like hgjfd...Big Sad but she decides to go. she wants to maybe try and rekindle whatever friendship she can even if it might be awkward at first

when she gets to mack’s pod pepper is like shocked to see mack with tears in her eyes and shes looking kinda frantic and is just like “PEPPER I RLY DONT....GET IT....IDK WHATS GOING ON” and pepper is like ???? are u okay omg whats the matter and mack goes on about how she feels like shes missing something and shes not having as much fun with her one night stands and everything just feels weird and off and she hates feeling like this and she hates seeing pepper so broken hearted and shes just REALLY SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING and pepper is like u dont have to be sorry for how u feel if u dont wanna be with me u dont have to be and mack is like UR SO ADORABLY OBLIVIOUS I FEEL WEIRD BECAUSE I DONT WANT OTHER TROLLS ANYMORE I JUST!! WANT U!! and pepper is just. feeling a lot and shes like bhfgjdfgjkds what. huh. but. and mack is just. apologizing profusely and hugging pepper and pepper is so confused and startled cuz mack is acting so out of character but shes also rly excited and happy because!! mack likes her back!! and after a lot of talking things out and mutual crying they decide to try being exclusive girlfriends and just kinda take things chill. mack still kinda struggles to adjust to this big change to her lifestyle but shes also rly happy with pepper, who is ecstatic to be with mack FINALLY and is just loving her to bits, they love each other so much, everything is good, lesbians. 

[newgirlinthecorner]

Some quick letters

This is to my friends, personalized, in case they find this blog.

Also for my exes cause im salty

I really hope ya'll don't find it tho cause this is my diary sooooo

But if you do, this is for you, circa Feb 16,'19

So if you don't find yourself I'm either not close enough with you or i just don't know you yet♡

Btw this is in the order that yall come to mind (except the second to last one, ive been thinking about you nonstop for WEEKS)

Order:

Chloe, Ahlim, Seonmin, Chongwoo, Baron, Ella, Dale, Hannah L., Olivia S., Liv L., Marit, Maddy X., John, Abigail, Caitlyn, Terry, Harry, Ava, Adrian, Sanjana, Eliza, Juri, Lily M., Braeden, Dean, Ryan N., Chris P., Tyler, Ties

Chloe

Hey, what's up

Nothing here is new for you so I don't have much to tell you. Thank you for your friendship through all these years♡

Ahlim

I miss you.

Also, I've been congratulating you on your birthday every year till 2018. Yet you haven't congratulated me once.

But I hope you are well.

Remember how we said we'd meet up at Harvard?

I fully intend on holding up my side of the deal.

Seonmin

I'm sorry for being such a catastrophe whilst we were close. I hope I'm living up to what you think I am now.

Say hi to harabeoji for me♡

Chongwoo

Dude im sorry for how i tried to get with you but you didnt have to be so rude yknow like damn ok

another mothafuckin scorpio

Baron

I liked you for a longass time

Remember my letter you threw out in 4th grade? That shit still haunts me to this day.

I heard you really went downhill.

Sucks to be you ig

Ella

I love you so much

We need to talk more

I know you're seeing this rn, so hmu cause i miss you but im too awkward to say so properly

Also, feel free to show people that you're friends with their respective sections in this post.

Dale

S Q U I S H

You deserve many love you adorable being and i love you very much

I miss you if it isnt obvious

Hannah L.

I really hope you're doing well. Are you still swimming? I bet your English is amazing now♡ I hope you get into an Ivy League like you've wanted to.

Olivia S.

How've you been? We need to talk.

I'm sorry I don't have much to say, we didn't spend all that much time together.

But I haven't forgotten you.

Liv L.

I'm still not really certain what I did the winter of '17 that cast us apart. However, I do know that I hurt you, so I'm sorry. I really did cherish the bond we had and I hope to rekindle that because I miss you.

If you see this, please tell me♡

Marit

You always kind of confused me, but in a good way. What I remember is your mother's lentil soup, the moose tracks ice cream, and our trip to Daiso.

I got a samsung phone so I can't use the case but I still have it in my memories drawer.

It's amazing how you didn't get sick of all the rambling about oowooppa that I did.

I miss you too♡

Maddy X.

I do genuinely want to see you again, so I'm sorry I couldn't come to Moraga in the summer of '18.

However, you hurt me pretty badly when we were in 8th grade.

I would support you, even abandoning all my plans to take you to the hill to rant and yell and sob, but I would get nothing back.

I spent 50 hours on your birthday presents that year and got nothing back.

I wouldn't expect you to do the same, but at least a liiiitle bit of efforr would have been nice.

I'm still hurt. Sorry. I wish you success with your family, volleyball, and academics♡

John

You already know this but boy we needa fuck asap

Anyways your friendship is great and even though we float apart a little, you're president here.

I love how you're so happy to help me in my amoral schemes

♡love you boo

Abigail

How the hell did you get here?!

I'm impressed.

Caitlyn

I'm sorry I've been neglecting our friendship but we have too divergent interests and I have other things to focus on

You're a sweet girl though and a great person

Plus I'm allergic to eyeshadow now so

Terry

OKAY LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

i will fucking murder you you hear me

You thought i wasnt pissed after you cheated on me?

You thought you got away with it?

I know everything, aidan.

Everything.

Don't try to hide from me.

I will always win.

Why?

Because almost everyone hates you, knows you're a liar, and much less people are antagonistic towards me.

Harry

Here's the truth:

I only dated you to sour the friendship with Terry. Why? Because he's a shithead. You deserve better than him.

I'm sorry, but I never actually liked you.

Ava

Your overly energetic moods annoy the hell out of me im sorry

Please shut up once in a while

Please remember what i tell you at least sometimes

Please talk about something aside from yourself

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Adrian

Surprise surprise, i wanna fuck

Hmu youre hot

Also funny so like

👍👌

Sanjana

Please learn to keep your mouth shut goddammit

you didnt have to tell everyone about my plot involving dean!

Eliza

You're gonna date a druggie in the near future.

But you know what, you're great.

Sorry i hit you that one time it was a joke

Juri

I'm almost certain you won't see this

I understand youre evangelical but please stop preaching to me

You're a really nice girl but youre kind of hollow and a prude

Not too horribly fun to be around, sorry

Lily M.

I love you so much oh my god

You always light up my mornings and its amazing

Keep doin you boo

Braeden

That one time, i wasnt just asking to hang

I was asking you out

Is your skull really that thick?

I liked you, you know.

Dean

You shouldn't even be on this list cause you're too insignificant

But like lowkey i wanna fuck

Your girlfriend can do much better than you but i on the other hand cannot so like

🙃

Ryan N.

Again, like with a lot of other people, I wanna fuck.

That is all.

Chris P.

Please stop whining

Otherwise youre a great guy

Tyler

Oh, you're the hard hitter here

Mothafucka ive been writing about you to shit on this blog

Get in me right now

Just take me

In more ways than one

Also sorry im so awkward when we kiss or you pick me up im just taken aback by you yknow

♡

Ties

I still intend on fucking with you.

I will haunt you for a longass time bitch

You made a fuckin mistake crossing me

The end

[konicichan-blog]

5am thoughts: theory: Story Of Light

is it called the Story of Light because its Shinee telling us and the whole entire world that they will no longer grief in sadness and that they've moved on and accepted what has happened? I'm sure we all know Shinee may still be sad (and maybe more than that) but what if this whole album is telling us that shinee, that all the members, Minho, Onew, Key, and Taemin are ready to have a new beginning? Like, they're ready to let all the sadness go and accept what has happened and that they will continue to work and grow.

What if You&I was about them talking about Jonghyun? Like, what if this song is about them trying to talk to Jonghyun? And theyre all trying to tell him that its hard when he's gone like they dont know what to do. "I’m the only one hurting, I may look fine I’m not easy, my feelings aren’t for decoration" And like they're all reminiscing their memories with him. All those good times that they're not ready to let go of. "A handful of memories, I laugh and remember every day" (okay the lyrics arent in order but JJJJust lemme finish and fyi, its gonna be a lOoong one). "There are countless stars in my heart, there’s one star that shines painfully I don’t want to grab it but I don’t want it to go out" okay in this part i think they maybe talking about Jonghyun. Maybe the stars represent people and "theres one star that shines painfully" might be Jonghyun. A star... someone really special to them... is hurting deep inside. Maybe Shinee is trying to tell us that although a celebrity or ANY person in general who may seem happy in front of the cameras or may seem happy in the outside in general is actually in deep pain inside. Dealing with self doubt, depression and all that and we just dont know :( "The things I can’t throw away make me smile" this is kinda self explanatory. Jonghyun, someone they love, someone they deeply cherish, someone they can't simply just let go of, someone who can always make them smile. You know? "I know that you’re being honest when you wish me well I’ll let you go easy, don’t think that you’re stepping on me" this is kinda hard to explain haha ahm.. maybe as time passes by, Jonghyun's absence is telling them to let go and move on and maybe they're mad with what he did? I DONT KNOW I DONT MEAN IT LIKE THAT! like mad, like?? how do i explain?? like maybe frustrated?? thats the best word i can think of right now riwjkrs they're frustrated but theyre not gonna blame it on him. like the good friends and brothers they are they will let it go easily.. UGH do i make sense? anyway. "I’ve let myself go to the wind and the rain that’s falling cooly But my feelings aren’t for decoration" okay so this is the part theyve told themselves that they really need yo accept what has happened. and maybe "my feelings arent for decoration" means that whatever they are feeling and whatever they are going through shouldnt be joked about in social media since its a serious matter and well ive seen some haters and some "new kpop fans" talk shit about this issue and honestly 😤 it makes me want to slap a bitch

Anyway

next song > UNDERCOVER

so the lyrics:

"I’m paddling my feet as busily underneath the surface with a calm expression on my face, You don’t know"

have u seen swans? how they paddle their legs under the water to move but above the water they seem so calm? like ballerinas, how their arms and body are always so graceful but their legs do all the work and stuff ¿¿?? okay im comparing the lyrics to swans and ballerinas because what if the boys are trying to tell us Jonghyun's situation and maybe also their's and other people who is suffering the same way? We don't always know what happens when we turn around. We don't always know when they're hurting. It's actually pretty easy to lie and fake a smile now a days so we always have to be careful with our loved ones. we dont always know what they're dealing with and one wrong move can cause a bomb to explode.

"Before the curtains rise, I’m always busy but when I’m standing before you I’m Acting cool"

Maybe theyre telling us that behind the scenes, theyre also suffering with personal or family issues. like every other person, celebrities have problems that they deal with too. they also have feelings. maybe on stage theyre smiling and having so much fun but backstage, theyre suffering? they cant breathe, they're overworked, theyre tired. sometimes they're forced to do things. Honestly for me, the kpop industry is so pressuring. you have to be this or that and if you cant you get criticized for it.

"I can’t let you know the things that are secretly happening now, now is not the time. I wait for the right moment, so that when you’ve realized it it’s too late."

Obviously most idols worry about their fans. Theyre worried when theyre fans are worried. its like a family thing we idol and fans have for each other yknow and maybe thats why sometimes they cant always speak up about whats really going on inside their mind. They cant always talk about it to the public bc sometimes people are so rude and so insensitive and leave comments like, "youre not depressed! youre just overthinking" bullshit, barbara. "you just need to hang out more" hMMmM :// ANYWAY thats why they dont really speak up alot. sometimes they cant even go to a psychiatrist privately because the media is always watching and once its on display, BOOm haters here and there talking bs and obviously WE wouldnt realize unless its TOO LATE!

"Like a black shadow is absorbed into the night, the night I dig deep beyond the consciousness, inside of you I’m Undercover"

I dont know how to begin with this.. its like once theyve hit rock bottom and they feel like nothing is gonna get better amd everything is just dark and gloomy. Maybe this is like the moving on part?? like the beginning of moving on. the depressive episode. And at first theyre just trying to hide everything. Just being undercover.

WAIT OMG OKAY SO MAYBE UNDERCOVER BEFORE YOU&I

so they got depressed over what happened and theyre trying to hide from everybody that theyre okay but theyre not and theyre just undercover. in you&i thats when they start reminiscing about jonghyun and talking to him. telling him they miss him and that for him, they're ready to accept and let go.

OKOK SO THE NEXT SONGS ARE WHEN THEY START BEING POSITIVE AGAIN !! YES GO SHINEE !! OUR STRONG KINGS !!!

so i dont really know the sequence i mean its already fucked up in the beginning so lets just go with whatever !!!

So in GOODEVENING!

"The cozy darkness is lingering far away"

so the 'darkness' or those gloomy days and toxic vibes theyve been surrounding themselves has been slwoly disappearing. they're starting to feel a little better again. <3

"At the tip of the sunset that hangs on the buildings I think of you"

i cant explain this one and note: i havent slept and its 6am but im still trying to make this work. but i think fjksjfks ok sunsets means like the day is "ending" and like before the day ends, they remember their sufferings while they were depressed and all those sad times with Jonghyun, like those times of grief.. they remember it all before starting a new day ¿¿ I DONT KNOW im trying my best to explain it. Its like theyre finally accepting what has happened and is ready to start a new happy day

"Spill out the darkness

Open the night

I wanna see you more, right now, oh"

So the sunsets and the night has come and theyve already accepted whats happend but they want to see Jonghyun in a different light. They want to see their bestfriend and brother as someone who was happy and made others happy. They want to remember Jonghyun as someone who made his parents and everyone around him proud.

"The moonlight is rising

I’m going to you before it’s too late

I’m going to get you

Imagining how surprised you’ll be, I’m going to you

Going to you

Going to you

Without a reason, going to you"

okay this part is like giving someone a hug before they leave for their flight. Like even when hes gone hes not alone and shinee is not alone. like theyre always together. theyll always be together. "imagining how surprised you will be" nrkanfks im thinkg on how to write thus part wo sounding sarcastic. knowing what jonghyun has been through, he might have thought that he was and always will be alone... but the members are there to guide him in his travel to heaven with their prayers and theyre all hoping to surprise him ¿¿ AAAA im sorry if this sounds sarcastic or offensive i REALLY didnt mean it to be that way >·<

literally,for me anway, the whole song is about how theyll always be there for each other. even when the other is far away, it will never stop them from what they are doing. and thats why i love Shinee so much💓

In jump im not gonna add a lot of lyrics since im getting lazier. (lmao you can see my effort fading from you&i until here)

in Jump the song is about them trying to put their pieces together again. They've been broken and torn apart but they're ready to pick theirselves up again.

"I shake my head, brush it off and adjust my heart

I solidly protect my space again"

no one can recover quickly so i guess in this part, they're trying to take things slow. not too fast or anything or else they might make a wrong move and fall back to square one.

"Keep on enduring it

Just close my eyes when it feels futile for no reason"

in this part, theyre still not that strong enough so theyre telling themselves that they should just endure the pain or sadness. if it feels impossible, just close your eyes, believe and trust in yourself. theyve made it this far, why should they quit now?

"Higher, rise higher, fly

There’s the ground beneath your feet

When I travel between the two

Oh yes I feel the freedom

I jump on you, jump on you"

when they finally overcome the fear and sadness and EVERYTHING! they feel the weight lift from their shoulders and finally they feel freedom. overjoyed, they celebrate by jumping¿¿ i guess?? lmAO

"I’m not falling

I’m not wilting

It’s just changes

I turn different

And keep going forward"

this is when they realize that: nothing is going bad. everything is going just fine and everything is great. maybe they havent fully recovered yet but all those depression and pain is finally gone and theyre happy. They're different now and they realize they can finally keep moving forward without feeling to fall back down again.

"Why is that hard Why did I hesitate for such a long time Following my heart away From other people’s eyes I free the feet that were bound I let my imagination loose after a long time The wind is blowing Now I open my eyes and breathe in"

the first 2 lines is probably them asking themsleves, why didnt we do this earlier? they finally followed what their heart wanted instead of being trapped in their own mind and they finally can breathe again. they feel free and loose. they dont feel the heavy chains hanging on their shoulder anymore !

Now I can open my eyes and breathe in.

this is honestly a HUGE step for them. and im so proud?? ugh..

last song: All Day All Night

"All the moments I met you were highlight I don’t regret it, it’s just beautiful"

Theyre remembering Jonghyun more with their happy memories. How his existence highlighted mostly everything in their past. Jonghyun was such a big part of their lives and even if he was gone, they were still happy that he was able to be part of their lives and they were thankful to be a part of his.

"I start to see the world differently Yeah it’s all for you Time starts to emit a light Yeah it’s all for you Our very painful tears The joy that fills ourh hearts All for you, all for you, all for you"

Theyre doing all these wonderful things all for Jonghyun and maybe also for us too and for themselves. "Time starts to emit light" its pretty self explanatory. theyre beginning to see things in a positive way again !! So all of this, this is all for Jonghyun.

"Leave it alone, hold me and my painful scars All of it is the control"

theyre telling us to maybe accept it and move on too. To move on with them. We're all in this together and everything is in control.

So YAAS thats my theory or whatever you call it for SHINEEs album. I really do think the message hidden behind this album is deep and amazing and VERY important. I'm glad SHINEE is able to see things in a new light. Let's just keep loving and supporting them, okay??! So that's it.

The Story Of Light.

The End.