#in case I ever work up the courage to post about that story on here…

[bairdthereader]

Charlie Spring, An Appreciation: Part 1, Courage

Nick Nelson gets a lot of love, and justifiably so; I'll be the first to admit that he's amazing (see my many Nick-related posts as evidence). But I hear all too often that Charlie is leveling up by being with Nick, or that Nick is too good for Charlie. I beg to differ—vehemently—and here's why, part 1 (of 3, maybe?).

I often find myself in awe of Charlie during some of the quietest and least dramatic parts of the Heartstopper show and comics, because his bravery, resilience, and tenacity are displayed in ways that seem inconsequential, but are actually incredibly meaningful and telling. This boy has a thread of steel running through him, whether it's obvious at first glance or not.

We see this almost from the very beginning, when Charlie is assigned to a new form and told that he'll be sitting next to Nick, "one of the rugby boys," and, "I'm sure you'll get along swimmingly." Here is not only Charlie's worst personal nightmare, but also a teacher who is blithely unaware of the terrible position he's just put Charlie in--being placed in close, daily proximity to the type of person Charlie associates with the darkest time of his life. But we don't see fear on his face, or even that much dread—this tells us so much about him in just a nanosecond. There's resignation and bitterness, yes, but Charlie knows he can withstand this, because he's been there before and survived. This is borne out in later conversations with Nick where Charlie assures him that "I'm used to it." This is a horrifying injustice, one Nick rightly calls out, and it shows Charlie's resilience in the face of a degree of cruelty that many people never experience.

This little moment outside of the changing room is another revealing scene. Charlie knows exactly what he's walking into, exactly the kinds of comments and sly bullying he's going to experience in that room. He knows he will have to have his guard up every second, that he will have to prove himself to this group, even though he shouldn't have to. He also knows he'll be fighting his own self-doubt, and so this experience will be a battle on two fronts. (Three fronts, if you include trying to hide his feelings for Nick.) But he does it anyway. Sure, you could argue he's doing it solely to be near Nick, but I think this is also his way of making sure that those boys don't dictate his actions or his life. This is Charlie taking a stand. And this is just one example—he does this over and over and over again, in many different settings and situations.

Case in point, calling it off with Ben. Charlie has been the victim of what is essentially brainwashing and abuse from Ben for months. Ben has told Charlie verbally and shown him physically that Charlie means less than nothing to Ben, and that Charlie can never expect anyone to ever want him or care for him. And Charlie often, tragically, believes him. That Charlie is able to break free of this vicious cycle and take the steps to distance himself from Ben shows his immense inner strength. You can see on Charlie's face (thanks to Joe Locke's inimitable talent) that he can't even believe he's done it. And we have to keep in mind that this happens long before Nick is a real possibility, so we can't say Charlie does this for Nick. He does it for himself.

I do have to include one of the more iconic scenes, because this ⬇️is Charlie's clarion call, his hope, his banner, for the rest of this story. He knows he has a lot of problems to work through, that he's complicated and sometimes hard to interpret, so it's easy to see this scene and think Charlie's words come from a place of insecurity (and of course that is some of what's happening here). But he's strong enough to both acknowledge it and ask honestly that Nick not let those parts of Charlie become the focus of their relationship. He requests, even during this moment of almost brutal honesty and vulnerability, that Nick see him completely, as the whole person he can be, because Charlie knows that person is there inside himself. The self awareness and bravery this takes is enormous.

There are a million other moments like this that I could write about, both big and small:

But I'll end this already lengthy post with this: When one considers the amount of sheer courage Charlie has to exert just to live his daily life, it almost defies understanding. Charlie Spring is a gladiator of the mind and heart, completely worthy of any good thing.

[monstersandmaw]

Male gnoll x gn reader (nsfw)

Disclaimer which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me. 

As promised, the modern gnoll story is here!

Content: insecure, squishy, gender and body neutral reader; praise kink from gnoll boy if you squint; penetrative sex, knotting.

There's also very fleeting mention of a young, terminally ill patient passing off-screen. If you want to skip that entirely, skip from: "Halfway through the third time you encountered him there though, he got a call on his phone and his whole demeanour changed." to the paragraph beginning: "Three days later, and you’d been to the gym every day in the hopes of catching him, you hadn’t seen him."

Wordcount: 6934

You stared at the weights rack and felt a bead of sweat roll down your spine that had nothing to do with your previous sets.

This would be the heaviest you’d ever attempted to chest press, and while it might not be much by some people’s standards — that half-orc last week had really put you off your stride by snorting at you, but we can’t all be built like brick fucking walls, can we? — it was more than you’d tried so far. But you were ready. You just… needed someone to spot for you. Just in case. Safety first, and all that.

But the only people in the weights section were the kind of people who, through no real fault of their own, you tended to find nauseatingly intimidating. Like that troll who could probably bench press one of you in each hand. Or that werewolf who was fully shifted and currently on her hundredth(?) chin-up on the bars. Or that gnoll. He’d been doing slow, measured bicep curls for the past five minutes and you’d been trying not to stare at him. Most male gnolls were a bit smaller than their female counterparts, and tended to be less aggressive and competitive in the gym, but this guy was huge.

You must have looked a little too long though, because his dark, rounded ear twitched and he turned his head to look at you. Instead of glaring at you, he offered you a wide, friendly grin that showed off his massive, chunky teeth and made you a bit weak at the knees. Always good to go weak at the joints when you were about to attempt a personal best in the weights section at the gym…

Fuck.

“You ok?” he asked, setting down a dumbbell that was heavy enough to double as a battleship anchor, and you swallowed.

Now or never.

“I…” you croaked and cleared your throat, looking down at the bench and back up at him.

“You want someone to spot for you?” he asked, stepping a little closer. His paws were massive and while he had clothes on — black gym shorts and a big, baggy, white tank top — he wore no shoes. His claws flexed as his dark, smoky brown pads spread to take his weight, and you swallowed again. He had really adorable freckle-like spots up his shaggy legs too.

“If you wouldn’t mind?” you finally managed to squeak.

At that, he beamed at you and gave a gnollish giggle that seemed genuinely pleased. “Happy to.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled, and took a breath for courage. No going back now.

You lay down on the bench and he came to stand behind the rack. His big, clawed hands hooked under the bar but he didn't take any of its weight as you adjusted your grip and got settled, and prepared to lift it free. He loomed over you, his face serious with concentration. It was a comfort to know he was focused on the task, not gawping around at the other gym-goers. The future integrity of your chest and ribs depended on his concentration if your arms failed you, after all. You had no doubts about his strength though. He really was massive.

Getting your breathing under control, you shoved carefully upwards, and he grinned as you took its weight and began your reps. After five, you felt your arms start to burn, but you pushed on towards ten.

At nine, your muscles shuddered in complaint.

“You’ve got this,” he said in a low, quiet rumble, and it spurred you on to do the last one. You hooked it back in place and met his dark brown eyes. “Nailed it,” he grinned, all teeth and joy. “I reckon you can go up another five kilograms…”

“I’m not sure,” you replied, sitting up carefully and swinging your feet off to one side. The idea of making it heavier seemed overwhelming.

“I’ll spot you again, don’t worry,” he said, reaching for a couple of the smallest weight plates from the rack and slotting them easily onto the end of your bar. “But you definitely had some in the tank. Take a minute, have a drink, and go again.”

His quiet, easy conviction was enviable, but it sparked something in you that had been dormant for a long time. Or maybe it had been smothered into dormancy. Either way, it felt a lot like the echo of self-confidence, though the feeling was unfamiliar these days.

When you set down your water bottle and paused to let your muscles relax after the first set of reps, your eye was caught by a wiry looking goblin doing weighted squats on the far side of the room. She had iron grey hair and looked to be in her sixties or seventies, and you felt the heat of shame flood your cheeks when you realised she was lifting more than you could, at half your height and a fraction of your body-weight.

Seeing where you were looking, the gnoll gave a little snicker and said, “Oh boy, don’t compare yourself to Rose, friend. I’ve seen her outlast full-grown orcs in friendly pull-up competitions, and she can plank for an hour without breaking a sweat. Goblins are made of steel, I swear. Focus on your own journey.”

You laughed, feeling stupidly grateful to him for his kind reassurance.

“Come on. Give it a go?” he said, and you nodded and lay back. “I’ll be here. I won’t let you hurt yourself,” he added.

It was a struggle, but you made it to five before you needed a pause, and he hooked his rough-padded fingers under the bar and took the weight for a second.

“Breathe, and then just five more.”

Somehow when he said it like that, it didn’t seem so bad.

Things got tricky at eight, but you gritted your teeth and pushed through, and when you hit ten and he took it from you, your arms felt like wet noodles, but you’d done it.

“Alright!” he exclaimed as you sat up and cast him a sidelong look. He offered his paw for a high-five, and, embarrassed by his enthusiasm for you, you answered it. The pads of his paws were rough and warm, and his entire hand almost engulfed yours. When you lowered your gaze again, you could just see his little tail wagging back and forth and that finally brought a huge smile to your face. How long had it been since someone was genuinely excited for your achievements?

“Thank you,” you mumbled, your voice cracking a bit. “That was really kind of you. I’m sorry I interrupted your workout.”

“Not at all,” he smiled. “Happy to help, and you smashed it! I’ll leave you to get on, but shout if you need me to spot for you again.”

“Thanks,” you said, but your shyness returned, and you didn’t trouble him again that session.

Three days later, you were back in the gym with your muscles mostly recovered. On the ground floor of the building, there was a huge swimming pool and as you passed the viewing window you could see a couple of humans and a few orcs and perhaps an elf doing serious, focused laps in the swimming lanes, barely making a splash as they powered through the water. This whole ‘fitness drive’ thing was still pretty new to you, and just walking up the stairs into the upper level of the gym where the machines and weights were sparked the same nauseous anxiety in the pit of your stomach that you always experienced at the thought of going to a public gym. You didn’t look like someone who belonged here, with soft edges and extra weight in places it wasn’t conventionally attractive for humans to carry it, and while you weren’t really here to please other people, you were trying to take better care of yourself lately and that, unfortunately, involved exercise.

Your eyes scanned the space and you’d have been lying if you weren’t searching for a flash of honey-coloured fur. There was a large group of orcs messing around in the weights section, so you bailed and headed blindly for the nearest cardio machine, heart pounding in a way that made you want to throw up.

“Guess I’m running today,” you muttered under your breath as you stepped automatically up onto the treadmill. Panic had made you go to this one, and you thought you’d probably look even more stupid if you changed your mind now.

After an overly-long warm-up walk, you cranked it to something manageable and felt your body complain already. You made it to about one kilometre before you had to stop. Deciding to pretend you’d always intended to use it merely as a way to loosen up, you hit the ‘stop’ button and ignored its friendly advice to do a cool down, grabbing your water bottle from the holder and turning around to see if there was enough room in the weights area for you to slink in and do a few reps.

And there, looking at you across the room, was the gnoll from before.

Your heart flip-flopped in your chest, first with delight and then with horror as you realised he must have seen you lumbering away on the treadmill. Fuck.

But when he met your eye, he grinned, showing all his teeth, and he waved. You smiled back, and wove your way through the bristling array of cardio machines to join him.

“Hey,” he said, scratching behind one large ear with his right paw. “I wasn’t sure if you were a regular… I kind of thought I might never see you again.”

“No, I’m usually wheezing away in a corner at around this time every few days,” you snorted.

He didn’t laugh at your self-deprecating humour though, and instead turned his muzzle towards the weights. “You need someone to spot for you again?”

You bit your lip. “Yeah, I guess. You can be my cheerleader again too if you like,” you added with a spur-of-the-moment burst of bravery.

“Gladly,” he giggled, tail wagging back and forth. “You wanna do a few warm up rounds first? I just got here, so I’m kind of cold anyway.”

As before, when you were ready, he came over and stood at the head of the bench, hands ready to catch the bar. It was harder to concentrate this time round, with him looming over you. He had to be nearly seven feet tall, though he had that distinctive hunch that gnolls’ unique biology lent to their kind where werewolves were more upright.

When he took the bar from you at the end of your first set of reps, his fingers brushed yours and you nearly gasped at how velvet-soft his fur was. “Thank you,” you said, and as you sat up to take your short break, you introduced yourself by name.

“I’m Cade,” he replied, and stuck out his hand for you to shake.

Conscious that your palms were probably super sweaty, you tried not to flush hot and make it even worse, and you slid your hand into his. Again, the size of him was striking, and you felt something in your core tighten and start to tingle at the sight of it, let alone the feel of his paw flexing around your hand. His claws were dark and neatly rounded and you wondered what he did for a living. Most gnolls — not that you knew any personally — seemed to have active, outdoorsy jobs, but there was something about him that made you curious.

“Ready for round two?” he asked, and you got back to it with a shy smile. “Ah, come on. It’s not that bad, is it? You might even learn to love it soon.”

“It’s better with company,” you admitted as you took the weight of the bar and looked up just in time to watch his face go from serious to delighted at the compliment. “Not sure I’ll ever come to love it though. Not the way you seem to.”

He grinned and giggled gnollishly — the sound high and bright and a little silly coming from someone so intimidatingly built — and you couldn’t help the way your heart felt a little lighter and your body a little more energised. “I did consider changing careers to become a personal trainer for a while,” he said while you started to count your second set.

“Oh?” You didn’t have the breath to ask anything more articulate, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Mm. I just enjoy helping people out, I guess.”

“What do you do now for work?” you asked in a bit of a garbled rush between reps six and seven.

“I’m a paediatric nurse,” he said, and you nearly dropped the bar on your chest. He reached down and snatched it before it had even dropped an inch, and he shot you a look. “Don’t worry, I’m used to that reaction,” he said with a wink. “I was expecting it.”

“Sorry,” you said. Jeez, what a charmer. “I just… I wouldn’t have thought… you know… I’m sorry.”

“Eh, it’s fine,” he said. “Come on, get to ten and I’ll tell you the rest.”

You pushed through the last three and he took the bar and rested it on its hooks, allowing you to sit up with thrumming muscles in your shoulders and arms. You stretched out and twisted your neck to look up at him from your seat on the bench.

“We have a bad reputation still,” he sighed, “But actually, traditionally, male gnolls are the caretakers in our clans. Historically, the females did all the fighting and protecting, and we raised the cubs and taught them the basics before they went on to train with the females.” He shot you a cheeky look and added, “Statistically, male gnolls are the least likely of almost all species to be aggressive, so despite appearances, we make perfect caretakers. The kids at the hospital love me, once they get past the teeth and the size.”

“I can see why,” you said faintly.

Cade pulled a wide smile and eyed the bar. “Go for three sets this time?”

You did, and when you were done, you thanked him, and then headed to grab a kettle bell to do some other exercises. If both of you kept sneaking glances at each other for the rest of your session, well, at least it wasn’t just you.

Halfway through the third time you encountered him there though, he got a call on his phone and his whole demeanour changed. You’d been doing some lower-weight dead lifts, and as you set the bar down on the mat you watched all the joy bleed out of him; his tail bristled high and stiff, his ears swivelled back almost flat against his head, and his big brown eyes went wide with distress.

“Shit, now?” he hissed, turning away from you. “Fuck. Ok, I’ll be there as soon as I can. No, don’t worry about it. Thanks for telling me. Ok, I’ll see you soon.”

He hung up, took a deep breath, and then slowly looked over his shoulder at you. “I… I have to go. I’m sorry. Don’t try any more without someone to spot for you, ok?”

You nodded. “You alright?”

He bit his lip and shook his head. “No, not really. One of my patients is… Uh… Yeah. Not long left, apparently.”

“Oh shit, Cade,” you said, crossing to him. You laid your hand on his fluffy forearm and squeezed the solid muscle beneath your fingers. He seemed to relax just a fraction at that. “You need someone to give you a lift to the hospital? My car’s outside.”

Again, he bit his lip and then nodded. “You wouldn’t mind? I was gonna get the bus.”

You shook your head. “Of course not. Let’s go.”

He was mostly silent for the journey, his knee bouncing as he sat crammed into in the front of your car, but when you approached the main entrance to the hospital, he said, “You can just use the drop-off at the front. Thank you again. I’ll… I’ll see you around, ok?”

You nodded and reached for his arm again. “Take care of yourself.”

He smiled, gave a low rumbling noise that you’d never heard him make before, and then climbed out and strode into the hospital without a backward glance. You looked down at the seat and found a fair few golden hairs stuck to the fabric, and didn’t have the heart to brush them away.

Three days later, and you’d been to the gym every day in the hopes of catching him, you hadn’t seen him. Your mood was decidedly flat as you stepped out into the fresh night air and tried to plaster on a smile when your best friend uncoiled his muscular, python’s tail from the back of the taxi that was waiting at the curb and flung his arms around you. His dark brown skin had a pearlescent shimmer to it and his long, thick brown hair was plaited into a thick braid that hung down his spine. He wore a glittery, black shirt studded with a rainbow of rhinestones that matched the iridescent gleam that seemed to hover over his snake’s tail too, and he had the most exquisitely neat makeup on that you’d ever seen.

“Gods, Mal, you look incredible,” you wheezed as he hugged you.

“You look good too, sweetheart,” he grinned back. “Any sign of your delicious little puppy at the gym today? No, of course not. If there had been, you wouldn’t looked like a kicked puppy yourself. Come on. It’s my birthday. You’re not allowed to mope,” he said, and he practically bundled you into the back of the taxi before going round to the other side and piling in beside you.

He gave the driver the name of the club, and the car set off.

“There’ll be so many beautiful people there tonight, you’ll forget all about this gnoll of yours, I swear,” he practically purred in your ear, and you tried to smile.

“Happy birthday, by the way,” you said, and you drew an envelope from your clutch and handed it to him.

He frowned. “What’s this? We don’t do cards or presents anymore, sweetie,” he scowled, but he did look secretly pleased.

“Couldn’t resist this one,” you shrugged.

The card was nothing very special, just a lame joke about not throwing a hissy fit on your birthday, but it predictably made Mal groan and roll his eyes. “Really, darling? Didn’t we get over the reptile jokes in kindergarten?”

You did manage to muster a heartfelt smirk at that, and waved your hand. “I couldn’t resist,” you said again.

“You’re awful. I love you so much,” he laughed, and tugged you into a sideways hug in his arms. “You’re the only person I tolerate this kind of shit from, you know that?”

“Yeah,” you smiled.

For a long moment, Mal held you and then he let you go and sighed softly. “I want you to be happy, you know?” he said. “You’ve been, like… ‘background miserable’ for ages.”

“I’ll try,” you said. It had been easier until Cade had vanished.

The club was packed already, but Mal dragged you to the front of the line and the two of you were admitted like celebrities and shown to the VIP area of the club. Perks of being with the brother of the owner, you supposed. Yves came over to greet you and his brother and to wish Mal a happy birthday. His present, it turned out, was unlimited drinks for the two of you all night.

For an hour, you and Mal chatted and drank leisurely, and watched the people out on the dance floor that was slightly below your booth, but just as Mal slithered with enviable elegance off the bench and started to make his way towards the dance floor, dragging you along with him, you caught sight of the familiar shape of a gnoll’s ears and froze so abruptly that your hands were torn from Mal’s grip.

“What, Sweets?”

You frowned, trying to make out the figure that was across the space, apparently also being dragged by his friends onto the floor. It was him. It was Cade. You had to laugh, and just as you did, he looked up.

His jaw dropped and he fell utterly still as well, then he laughed and shook his head.

“No way,” Mal breathed, now leaning in to hiss in your ear. “That’s him?”

“Yeah,” you said, and as Cade joined you, Mal — the cheeky shit that he was — gave you a solid shove between your shoulder blades.

You stumbled forwards and Cade shot his hands out to catch you before you planted face-first onto the dance floor. You whipped around the moment he had steadied you, and shot Mal the most venomous glare you could, and then turned back to Cade. “Thanks,” you yelled above the music. “My meddling best friend isn’t exactly known for his subtlety.”

“It’s ok,” Cade chuckled. “It’s good to see you. Sorry I haven’t made it to the gym lately. You find someone to spot for you?”

You shook your head and realised you were still holding his forearms. He hadn’t let go either, so neither did you. “How are you doing? I was worried about you when I didn’t see you after… you know…”

He bowed his head in understanding. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d worry about me, if I’m honest. I’m good. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, even if it was still really sad. It’s part of the job sometimes though. It’s… It’s not my first. But I’m not here to mope.”

“Why are you here then?” you asked, squeezing his forearm gently as someone knocked into you from the side. “You look about as comfortable as I am in places like this…”

His ears were pricked as far forward as they could go, straining like satellite dishes to catch your words above the thundering music, and the urge to make an inhuman squeak rose up your throat like a physical presence. For someone so huge and muscular, he had no right to look so heartbreakingly cute.

“My friends’ house purchase went through so they decided to celebrate and drag me out with them. You?”

“Mal's birthday. His brother owns the club, so we’ve had free drinks for the night.”

“Nice,” Cade laughed. “You want to dance?”

You did, but it wasn’t something you were any good at. Then again, looking around you, there weren’t many you’d have said were actually dancing. Shyly, you managed a nod, and he grinned at you again, and held out both paws. You slid your hands into them and he exhaled, his chest falling noticeably.

“What?”

“You’re so small,” he said. “I… I’m so afraid I’m going to crush you all the time.”

“You won’t,” you smiled, and stepped even closer to him. Close enough to smell the soft musk that rose from his fur. Close enough to see the lights reflected in his coffee-dark eyes and watch the way the pale whiskers on his dark muzzle splayed wide with his anticipation. In the lights you noticed that the white trim of fur along the outer edge of his ears looked like a fine line of silver. “You’re really beautiful, Cade,” you whispered, certain that the music would drown your words, but he pulled his dark lips back in a broad grin and dipped his head shyly.

He turned you in his arms so that your back was to his chest and he stepped a little closer, moving his hands to your waist. You tried to fight the self-consciousness that roared to life like a wildfire in your mind, and when he felt you tense, he leaned down and murmured in your ear, “Is this alright?”

You nodded and leaned back into him, looking up at his pale throat and chest. It was a surprisingly familiar view by now after your sessions in the gym. He was wearing loose jeans that ended at the knee, the way many non-humans did, and he had a black t-shirt on that fitted his muscular frame beautifully. His red-gold mane melted into the dark fur of his ears and the creamy underside of his chin and neck, and you wanted to melt against him and have him hold you forever.

“Yes,” you exhaled. “It’s just been a while, that’s all.”

“We can go however slow you like, but you should know I like you,” he said in a low, inviting rumble. He pressed his cold nose carefully against your cheek and then nuzzled you with his jaw. “A lot. Gods, you smell amazing,” he blurted, as if he couldn't help himself.

That self-conscious heat evolved into something entirely different, and pure want coursed through you instead. You ached again and your body seemed to prickle all over with desire.

His hands drifted a fraction lower, to frame your hips, and his fingers dug into your soft flesh. Above the music you heard him give a long, deep lowing sound; primal and visceral and honest in its appreciation, and it made you shiver.

You lost track of time as you danced together. It wasn’t so much ‘dancing’ as ‘sharing the same space and touching wherever you could both get away with it before it became completely indecent’.

At one point, when you’d turned to face him again, someone nudged into you from behind and a hand wandered over your back, and you flinched closer to Cade. He pulled his lips back and showed all his teeth, and the human who had wandered too close to your corner of paradise shied away with hands raised.

“Didn’t take you for the jealous type,” you said, and Cade growled at you instead.

“I’m not,” he said. “But I am protective. If you want to leave here with someone else tonight instead of me, I won’t stop you.”

“I don’t want to,” you said, placing your hand on the centre of his chest. “I’m not sure I’m ready to go home with you tonight either, but I do want your number and I do want to see you again.”

He smiled, and drew his phone from his back pocket. He twitched his muzzle towards the edge of the dance floor and then offered you his palm, leading you through the jostling crowd towards a quieter spot and shielding you with the bulk of his body when you had to force your way through the crush. You exchanged numbers, and then he looked over your shoulder and said, “Your friend is coming over.”

You turned to find Mal easing his way around the edge of the dance floor. He was moving slowly, carefully, the way he did when he was very drunk and trying not to show it. “Ah, man, I’ll have to get him home safely,” you sighed. “I guess this is goodbye for now.”

Cade nodded. “I’ll see you both to a cab if you like.”

“You are protective,” you chuckled.

“I’m not hearing a ‘no’.”

“No, you’re not,” you smiled. “If you like, you can get on the other side of Mal and see that he doesn’t slither off somewhere.”

The two of you wrangled a very curious and very obvious Mal into the back of a cab, and Cade came to stand with his hands on your waist. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, his ears tilted back in a perfect display of meek shyness.

“Yes,” you exhaled.

He lowered his head and brought his muzzle to your lips. His mouth was soft against yours and he pressed his lips against you and then let the very tip of his tongue lave over your lips while his rough hands rose to cup your jawline and hold your face delicately. Cade didn’t spend long kissing you, since it was evident that this was a human gesture for which his body was not really built, but he did move to nuzzle your cheek with the velvet fur of his muzzle before stepping back and breathing out a long sigh.

Before he could say anything sweet or romantic, Mal opened the door and half his tail spilled back out onto the tarmac, and he cursed. “Fuck. I just wanted to say to hurry the fuck up because I’m cold and drunk and I don’t want to sit the back of this cab any longer than I have to,” he slurred, his forked tongue thick with drink. “Sorry,” he tacked on a little late.

Cade chuckled and helped you tuck Mal’s python tail back into the car for a second time, and you shook your head. “I’m so sorry,” you said, and squeezed his arm. “I’ll see you at the gym? And I’ll text you.”

He nodded, and you got in to the taxi next to Mal and shot him a flat look. “That was not cool,” you said. “You only get a free pass because it’s your birthday.”

And with that, you told the driver his address, and then, when Mal was safely inside and a little more sober, you headed home.

A text was waiting from Cade but you saved it for when you were finally ready for bed, and as you lay there in the dark, you opened your messages with a little trepidation.

>> You looked so beautiful tonight. I was *this* close to not going out tonight, but I’m so glad I did. I hope you got back ok and that the birthday boy isn’t going to suffer too much. I’ll be at the gym tomorrow. Perhaps we can grab a coffee somewhere afterwards if you’re going to be around? Night, and sleep well. C x <<

You read it through four times before you replied, and after that, you saw each other every day for a fortnight solid.

It started with coffee after the gym and then progressed to drinks, and then drinks and a snack, and then dinner, and then dinner and a movie, and then dinner and the same movie again because there was nothing else on that you wanted to watch, and then dinner and a stroll along the riverbank while the city lights twinkled around you. Finally, after two weeks of meeting every day, he took your hands in his and kissed you silly on one of the bridges over the river.

He nuzzled you afterwards and let out all these delicious, gnollish noises that made your heart skip and dance and skitter around like a trapped bird in your ribcage.

“I want you,” you gasped as he leaned you back a little way and closed his mouth around your neck, raking his teeth oh so gently across your skin. He froze, and then drew back.

“You mean it?” he asked in an equally soft voice. His dark eyes were huge and his ears frankly adorable as they swivelled first back against his head in uncertainty and then pricked forwards in undeniable hope. His tail rose high and fluffy behind him and you giggled softly.

“Yes, I mean it,” you laughed. “I want you.”

“Now?”

“Not ‘now on this bridge’,” you snorted. “Now as in tonight. Now as in take me home.”

“Yours or mine?”

“Whose is closer?” you asked in a decidedly hoarse voice.

He paused. “Mine, probably.”

“Then let’s go there.”

He held your hand all the way there, and stopped at least five more times to nuzzle you and kiss you.

You’d been to his a couple of times before during your whirlwind courtship, but you’d only cuddled on the sofa while eating popcorn and watching reruns of your favourite shows. This time, you didn't bother with the sofa.

You kicked off your shoes at the door and he backed you towards the bedroom, growling and making those delicious, low-frequency lowing sounds in a constant, rumbling song. He loomed over you, but you grinned up at him and tugged at the lower hem of his black t-shirt.

He tore it off over his head to reveal the coarse, ivory fur of his chest and throat, and you reached for him, watching as your fingers disappeared into it. He growled — actually growled — when you scrunched your fingers and tugged experimentally, and you looked up at him again. He was panting softly, eyes half-lidded with his muzzle tilted upwards a fraction.

“Bed. Now,” you said in an unusually assertive voice.

Cade gasped and then simply picked you up by the hips. You looped your legs around his middle and let him carry you into his bedroom, where he deposited you carefully onto the bed and leaned down over you. It didn’t take you long to discard your clothes and he stared at you in wonder when you lay back again.

He was hard and as he rutted through his jeans against your thigh, you arched your back off the bed and moaned. “Now, Cade. Please.”

You ached all over and you’d never been this turned on in all your life. Every nerve ending seemed to have been dialled up to eleven and every time his rough paws skimmed over your skin, you gasped and jerked and groaned.

“So sensitive,” he purred, leaning back to undo his jeans and cast them aside. His boxers came next, and you tried not to stare at the size of him. You hoped you could take him.

He knelt between your legs and gently bit and mouthed his way up your inner thighs before closing his mouth over you and letting his tongue savour you. It should have been unnerving to have the most powerful jaws of almost any creature on land so close to where you were most delicate, but it sent a thrill up your spine instead. He moved his head between your legs and you let your hand rest between his ears, guiding his pace and taming his ardour a little.

Cade drew back, his eyes glassy and his muzzle wet with a combination of your arousal and his drool, and he rasped, “You taste incredible.”

“I want to come with you inside me,” you moaned. “I want you to knot me, Cade.”

His eyes fluttered and rolled at that and he gripped his cock in one hand as though trying to stave off his own orgasm already. “Fuck,” he grunted. “Fuck, that’s about the hottest thing you could have said to me. I’m really not gonna last long now. Oh fuck, I can already feel —”

“Cade, inside me. Now.”

“You’re sure?”

“Cade…” There was a growl to your voice too.

His cock was leaking all over his hand, all over the back of his fingers, and he wasn’t even working himself. You weren’t going to need any extra help to ease him inside you, but you were going to need him to take it gently.

“Slowly,” you warned as he lined himself up. He nodded, looking nervous and earnest.

The tip of his cock nudged inside you and you groaned and lay back, enjoying the huge stretch of him. Cade, meanwhile, bit back a curse and began to shake all over.

“I can’t,” he gasped. “Please… I…”

“Keep going,” you said, sounding gloriously winded already and he was only a little way inside you. “Don’t stop.”

The gnoll let out a long, lowing groan and then braced himself on both arms. You drew your knees up to help him and he began to pant again. “Fuck,” he cursed as he eased himself further inside you. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, I can’t I’m… I’m going to come… fuck, you’re tight. Oh fuck, beautiful, I can’t…”

“Yes you can,” you crooned, though the seduction in your voice was a little strangled by the intensity of the stretch as he eased almost all the way into you. “You can wait for me, I know you can. You’re so good; you’re so kind, Cade. You’re going to make this amazing for me, I know you are…”

At the string of praise, his heavy jaws parted to show all his thick, sharp teeth and he began to shake with the effort of not plunging into you in a single stroke until finally, finally, he was seated inside you to the hilt of his cock.

“See?” you said, reaching for the ruff around his neck and threading your fingers into the depths of the soft fur.

He keened and began to rock his hips. “Please… Please can I move now?”

“Yes, Cade. Let me feel all of you inside me.”

What began as a slow, careful slide of his huge cock inside you hastened to a desperate rhythm in minutes. His hips snapped against yours and you felt the weight of his balls as they rocked against you with each thrust. Cade was whining with each stroke, and you realised that the delicious stretch was growing, and each time he withdrew, it was a little less far.

“You’re going to knot me, aren’t you?” you gasped, drawing your knees up even further so that he hit you just-so with the tip of his cock at the apex of each desperate thrust.

“Mmnn,” he whimpered. “Fuck. I’m so close. You’re so gorgeous. Been thinking about this since… since we danced. Gods, I wanted to fuck you that night. Came all over myself when I got home. Popped a knot and everything, oh fuck, oh fuck you’re so tight I’m going to come, I’m so close, I’m going to come, can I come? Please let me come, beautiful, please let me fill you —”

His babbling, rambling pleas devolved into another gnollish low and he threw his head back, picking up the desperate pace. His hands grabbed your hips and his claws pricked your skin as he pulled you further onto his growing knot with every thrust. Delirious pleasure coursed through you and you barely had the presence of mind left to give him the permission he clearly craved.

“Yes, come for me,” you slurred. “Come inside me, Cade. Fill me —”

With a roar, his hips snapped against yours one last time and his whole body locked up. His lips pulled back from his huge teeth into a rictus of ecstasy and his eyes rolled as he came in huge, shuddering waves, lost to the pleasure of your body as his knot finally swelled to fill you and the sensation of it tipped you over the edge as well. As your body clenched around him, he cursed again and tugged you somehow even further onto his knot. His hips spasmed against you and you could feel him emptying himself into you in waves.

It was a long time before he stopped coming, and even with his knot plugging you tight, you felt some of his come start to leak out around you already, spilling down your thighs and onto the sheet. “Fuck,” he hissed again, and his body went suddenly slack, though his chest was still heaving for breath.

He fell forwards over you and braced himself at the last second on his forearms. You lowered your legs and he grunted as the movement jolted his over-sensitive knot, but you stayed there for a long time.

Gradually, your breathing settled into the same rhythm and your heartbeats slowed, and a leaden satisfaction descended into your whole body. You felt full, and cherished as he held you.

You lost track of time as you lay there together, but finally his knot receded and you felt a lot more of his come start to slide down your thighs. “Making a mess,” you mumbled from where you were half-buried by the soft fur near his ear.

“Mmph.”

“If you’re expecting me to have put on enough muscle to chest press you off me, you’re sorely mistaken,” you quipped, and to your joy, he gave a delighted, gnollish giggle and lifted his head enough to regard you with his slightly unfocused, dark brown eyes.

“You’re really something,” he said, and he let his pink tongue just grace the tip of your nose. “You sore? You want me to run you a bath?”

“Oof, yes please,” you smiled. No one had ever offered to do that for you after sex, and you were indeed a little sore from where he’d stretched you further than anyone ever had.

He lifted himself off you carefully, withdrawing from you and giving a little grunt as his softening cock slid free. He sat back on his haunches and ran his thumbs over the curve of your thighs, staring at where you knew you were probably gaping a bit. It was hard not to feel embarrassment until he murmured, “You’re exquisite.”

Cade leaned over you and fondly raked his upper and lower teeth over the soft flesh of your thigh before laving his tongue over your skin and then finally standing on shaky legs. “Been a while since I came like that,” he admitted shyly as he staggered towards the door. “Think I might skip leg day tomorrow and just chill out here.”

“I’ll join you,” you said. “I may never regain feeling in my legs.”

“I’ll carry you around anyway,” he grinned as he left and went to run the bath.

True to his word, Cade did carry you around his apartment the next day, and your feet barely touched the ground from the moment you woke to the moment you fell asleep in his bed for the second night in a row.

You weren’t exactly complaining though. It was heaven.

__

I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you’ll consider reblogging as well as leaving a like. Take care of yourselves, and I hope you have a lovely day/night wherever you are, and whenever you read this.

| Masterlist | Ko-fi (tip jar)

[bexleyfix]

Ending Our Friendship

(Stranger Things AU)

Prom photos are posted at the end of the story!

WARNINGS AND TRIGGERS: 18+ ONLY (ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS) NSFW... Mature sexual content, suggestive situations and discussions, smut, pining, angst, fluff, swearing, smoking, drinking, mentions of drug use.

RELATIONSHIPS: Eddie Munson x Y/n ♡ friends to lovers; Gareth, Jeff, Doug, Dustin, Mike, Steve, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, Max, Lucas, and El are side characters.

Copying, translating, or posting my work as your own is expressly forbidden. I do not give my permission. Reports with credit to me are encouraged.

°°°°°🤘°°°°°

What can I say about Eddie Munson? Well... he's eccentric, erratic, rambunctious, sarcastic, definitely an attention whore... irritable, obnoxious, unruly... long story short, he's kind of a dick. A menace to society whose name, behavior, interests, and all-around heavy metal image have earned him the reputation of 'Town Freak'. But it's an erroneous label born out of prejudice and arrogance, and one he most certainly doesn't deserve.

I'm not exactly a favorite among my peers either. My thrifty style, music taste, and shy demeanor make me an easy target for the ignorant fucks who dominate the high school hierarchy, and so does my association with The Hellfire Club. And since Eddie's a close friend of mine, I'm empathetic. I don't blame him for his behavior, 'cause I know it's a defense mechanism, a way of taking the torment bestowed upon him by the oppressors of Hawkins and turning it into some whimsical public attraction to hide his internal suffering and keep people on edge.

In any case, Munson's a pest. A huge, irritating, aggravating pest... a giant, perverted, flamboyant...... oh... who the fuck am I kidding? Whatever he is... I want him. I want him like a fat kid wants cake. I want him so goddamn bad that every time I lay eyes on him, hear his melodic, raspy voice, or even catch wind of his name, I feel like I wanna hurl. Fuck butterflies, that sexy son of a bitch makes me feel like I have a full-blown professional wrestling match ensuing in my gut. But could I tell him? Of course not. He doesn't see me as relationship material. I'm just 'one of the guys', permanently embedded in the friend zone, and if he ever found out my true feelings it would have grave repercussions on the whole dynamic of our collective friendships. So, I'm forced to put on a face, pretend that I'm immune to his charm, bottle up my feelings, and let them eat away at my insides.

In the four years I've attended Hawkins High not a day has gone by where Eddie Munson hasn't invaded my every thought, innocent or otherwise. Even when our interactions were non-existent, or nothing more than a hello here and there, I haven't been able to escape that scrumptious motherfucker's temptation no matter how hard I try. Ok... so I don't actually try that hard. Fuck it... I don't try at all... but I pretend to.

Eddie makes it a point to bother anyone he damn well pleases, but I seem to be his favorite prey, and I'll be damned if he doesn't get some sick perverse pleasure from incessantly teasing me. It's normal for he and I to playfully flirt and sexually tease each other. He knows he can get a rise out of me without the added contempt he gets from everyone else, but it's a game to him, just a game, one that I secretly love to play, but recently it's gotten a lot worse, and it was becoming unbearable.

Robin Buckley's the only one who knows my true feelings. She's been my best friend since we met in band freshman year. Being a bit of a loner herself, she and I just clicked. She too can't seem to find the courage to approach her respective love interest (our bandmate, Vickie), but Robin's reasons are more justified. Even still, we both live each day in a loop of self-induced torture. Robin at least gets a weekend reprieve, but not me. Sharing the same friends as Eddie, my torture is continuous, resuming every weekday morning in first-period art class, and today was another typical Friday. At least... that's how it started.

~~~~~

"Alright, guys. Today, I'm gonna meet with you all individually to see how you're doing on your projects for the year-end show. And for those of you who've decided to procrastinate... Mr. Munson, I'm looking at you... I need to ok your idea and make sure you have ample time to complete your work, and that your subject matter is appropriate."

"Aww, come on Mrs. S. You know I always finish my work on time." Eddie flashed the teacher a debonair smile.

"You better... if you finally wanna graduate. But your last project wasn't exactly school-friendly." She smiled back in jest.

I remember that project. The perfect example of Eddie's outlandish shenanigans. He'd drawn a Boris-style rendering of himself all but slaughtering his least favorite jock dipshit. But Mrs. Schwagert's one of the coolest teachers in this school, and unlike most, she's not quick to judge her students, including Eddie. She has a way of connecting with all of us.

Eddie scoffed playfully before spouting off an equally playful retort. "That hurts, Mrs. S. I thought you of all people would understand that I took an avant-garde approach, conceptualizing the fight against tyranny in today's society."

"Well, be that as it may, Mr. Munson, your tactless display of violence toward another student won't be tolerated, so I'd like to meet with you first."

I smiled to myself as Eddie exchanged playful banter with our art teacher, gawking at him like I do most of the day until their meeting was concluded, and like clockwork, he resumed his position right up my ass.

"Hi, there!" He proclaimed in his best baritone imitation of Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington from 'Welcome Back Kotter'.

I closed my sketch pad and looked up. "Now, the Sweathog part I get, but Washington? I don't see it."

"Ok, how 'bout Barbarino?"

He started shimmying back and forth in proper Barbarino fashion and I burst into laughter.

"Um... the hair, maybe, but you're not exactly a chick magnet. You're more of a mashup between Epstein and Horshack. Quick-witted, but super annoying."

"Fair enough." He plopped into the open seat next to me. "So... does that make you Hotsy Totsy, my little... Bunny?"

Oh yeah... every day Eddie makes it a point to devise a new moniker for me that starts with the next sequential letter of the alphabet. Today we were back to B.

"Not quite. I don't have a kid or moonlight as a stripper." I gave him a cheeky smile.

"You sure about that? You look like you belong on a street corner in that outfit."

I scoffed. "It's not that bad."

I looked down at my clothes. Ok, the v-neck crop top and fish nets, sure, but my skirt covered my waist and it wasn't that short. Suddenly feeling self-conscious I wrapped my sweater around myself, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Whatever you say. I'm certainly not complaining."

He looked me up and down with a Cheshire grin, and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't you have someone else you can pester? I'm busy."

"Doing what? More doodles that you refuse to share with me? What do you draw in there anyway? Is it your secret crush? Ooo! Is it me?"

He could not be more spot on. My sketch pad was filled with doodles of his mouthwatering, metalhead physique, as well as some more risqué renderings that I may or may not imagine him doing to me like... all the time. So of course, I lied.

"You wish, Munson."

"Oh, I do, Bunny. But if it's not me, then who is it? That Ian Astbury guy, or uh... what's his face... that wrestler? The one who looks like a roided up Tom Selek, um..." he snapped his fingers in recognition, "oh, Scott Hall? Wait!... It's Harrington isn't it? I know you two are chummy, and I wouldn't blame you. He's a dreamy hunk of hairy beast, but I'd have no problem being your dirty little sidepiece."

Eddie cocked his head to the side, flashed me a suave smile, and wiggled his eyebrows. He was such a dork, but he was right... about the chummy part anyway. Steve Harrington is my friend, which is a fucking miracle in its own right seeing that before he and Robin started working together, I never got a second glance from the 'King' of Hawkins High, but it turns out he's a gentle soul, and not the egotistical, jock douche we thought he was. But Robin puts it best, our friendship with Steve is platonic with a capital P.

"Hmm, as tempting as that sounds... I think I'll pass."

"Ok, suit yourself. Gareth would kill me if I tried to lay a hand on you anyway. Sisters are off limits."

I wasn't actually Gareth's sister, but I've lived next door to him since we were kids, and our families are super close. I do love that dumbass like a brother, but like most brothers, he's an annoying shit with a big mouth, so he has no idea how I feel about Eddie.

"Speaking of your lovable, surrogate little brother, you comin' to watch us practice tonight?"

"I wouldn't exactly call what you guys do, practice. All you do is fuck around and rip on each other the whole time."

"True, but you keep us in check, so you have to come over."

"Oh, I have to, huh? What if I don't feel like it?"

"Well, then I'll be forced to wait 'til Tuesday to waste my sexual prowess on girls who won't give me the time of day, resulting in me crying myself to sleep, again."

He popped out his bottom lip and gave me puppy dog eyes. Goddammit!

"Uh-huh. And... why do you suppose that is?"

"Well, probably because they don't know how to handle my natural charisma and raw animal magnetism. If they knew what they were missing, they'd be all over me."

"Is that right?" I leaned toward him provocatively, making sure to flaunt my cleavage. "And uh, what exactly are they missing?"

He was visibly frazzled, just how I wanted him. He swallowed hard, trying to make eye contact but unable to peel his gaze from my tits.

"Um... let's just say, that when it comes to the utmost in sexual pleasure... I'm your guy."

"Mmm... that good, are ya?"

"Oh, Bunny. I'm first-rate."

"And you think I... would be able to handle you?"

"Maybe..." He swallowed again. "There's only one way to know for sure."

"Is that so?" I looked him over seductively. "Sounds like that'd be one hell of a time."

"You have no idea."

I nodded slowly and smiled, our faces separated by mere inches.

"I suppose I don't." I stared at his lips, watching him squirm uncomfortably in his chair, and I went in for the kill. "Well, Mr. Fantastic, how could I refuse an offer like that?"

I leaned closer as if going in for a kiss and SMACKED him square in the forehead.

"OW, SHIT! SON OF A..."

I sat back in my chair as he pressed the butt of his hand to his forehead.

"I've gotta hand it to ya, Munson, I didn't think your persistence could be any more annoying, but you proved me wrong."

"Ok, I get it. No sexy time from Bunny. Way to crush my ego."

"I thought you'd be used to it by now. You can keep laying it on as thick as you want. I'm not sleeping with you."

"Y/l/n! I'll meet with you now. Get back to work, Mr. Munson."

"Yes, ma'am!" Eddie gave Mrs. S. a salute.

"Saved by scholastic decree. Catch you on the flip side, Fabio."

I smiled slyly, grabbed my sketchbook, and made my way to Mrs. S's desk as Eddie yelled after me.

"Let me know if you change your mind."

"I won't."

Without turning around I gave him the finger. I caught the faint sound of his chuckle and smiled to myself.

~~~~~

With my Walkman blaring, I navigated my way toward the cafeteria through the crowded hallways of Hawkins High, trying not to get knocked around like a pinball when Robin came running up to me in true motormouth fashion.

"Hey-gotta skip lunch to finish my history assignment-try to find a date for prom-meet up with you later-love you-bye!"

And like that, she disappeared into the sea of students before I could get a word in. This meant I'd have to sit with the Hellfire Club today, so I took a detour and headed to their table.

"What's the haps, nerds? Mind if I sit?"

I got lazy waves from the older boys, but Dustin and Mike immediately perked up and flashed me bashful smiles and enthusiastic waves, which I returned in kind.

"I've got a seat for you right here."

Eddie patted his lap. I smiled seductively, walked toward him, and squatted as if about to sit. The look on his face was priceless, but just before my ass made contact with his lap, I straightened up and crushed his dreams.

"Ooo... fat chance, fucker. Scoot over bro."

I nudged Gareth, plopping down in the seat between him and Eddie.

"Well, played, Bunny."

"Bunny? Are you still playing that stupid letter game?" Gareth asked.

"Unfortunately."

"You know you love it."

I flashed Eddie an unamused smile and started digging into my lunch bag.

"No Buckley today?" Gareth asked receiving a shake of my head as confirmation. "Hey, that girl Becky from band asked me to Prom."

I had a mouth full of food. "Mm, I like her. She's super sweet."

"Prom? You're actually gonna attend that monstrosity?"

"Why wouldn't I? Becky's hot. Just 'cause no one will go with you doesn't mean I have to sit at home with my thumb up my ass."

"Oh, sweet burn."

Mike gave Gareth a high five, and I couldn't hold back a laugh at Eddie's expense.

"Wheeler, it's not wise to upset your Dungeon Master."

Eddie flashed Mike an evil grin and Mike's face fell. He quickly turned his attention back to Gareth.

"El and I are going too. Do you guys wanna ride with us? We're getting a limo."

"Thanks, man, but we're hitching a ride with Buckley, Harrington, and Y/n."

"You're going too?"

Eddie looked at me somewhat perplexed.

"Mm-hm." I continued to eat nonchalantly, watching Eddie laugh in disbelief.

"With who?"

I furrowed my brow. Was that a hint of jealousy in his tone? Nah, couldn't be.

"Myself... and..." I waved my finger in a circle around the table to indicate everyone sitting there.

"You're all going?"

"Yes, killjoy. Nothing is stopping you from coming with us. It's a Masquerade theme this year. It'll be fun."

"Fun?! Bunny, I have no desire to attend the masquerade of forced conformity." He smiled smugly.

"Well, we do. So shut your face."

Still sensing the piercing glare of a pair of deep brown eyes, I lifted my head slowly to see Eddie smiling at me, elbow on the table and chin in hand.

"Yes?" I droned.

"Whatcha listenin' to?"

"Music," I retorted, jerking back when Eddie tried to steal my headphones.

"Why so secretive? Isn't she secretive?" Eddie addressed the younger boys of the group.

"Eddie, she probably just wants to eat her lunch in peace," Dustin answered.

"Pshh, then she's at the wrong table," Mike joked.

I shot them a friendly wink.

"Who's side are you guys on? You gotta crush on her or something? Well, you can both stop kissing her ass 'cause she's too old for you."

"I don't. I have the sweetest girlfriend in the world, and she's a genius."

"She's not very smart if she's dating you."

"Shut up, Jeff." Dustin threw a carrot at Jeff and Eddie chucked a pretzel at Dustin and Mike.

"Jesus, you guys are such dicks. Stop tormenting them. Dusty, is Susie coming?"

"I wish. Her dad'll never let that happen. I'm goin' stag... again."

"Don't worry, I'll save you a dance." He smiled bashfully.

"Jesus, this is torment. I'm surprised you're not going with Harrington." Eddie addressed me before turning to Dustin. "You know she draws erotic pictures of him in her sketchbook, right?"

"What?!" The whole table exclaimed.

"I do not." I shoved the side of Eddie's head.

"Do you really?"

"Of course not, Dusty. Eddie just refuses to let go of his nonconformist pride and have a little fun, so he's taking his frustration out on me. You know Steve and I are JUST FRIENDS!" I emphasized, staring daggers at Eddie before turning back to my food.

"Then show me the sketchbook."

"Fuck off, Munson... hey, what the..." Before I could react Eddie swiped my headphones and put them on. "Give 'em back, asshole!"

"Goddamn! This is some heavy shit. What is this?"

"It's your face meeting my fist if you don't give 'em back."

He held me at arm's length as I tried, and failed, to reclaim my headphones, but I soon gave up, crossing my arms over my chest in a huff.

"Ok, fine! It's 'The Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny'."

"Hahaha! WHAT?"

"It's a demo. The band's called Mr. Bungle. They're from Eureka."

"Well, isn't that fortuitous, 'cause my little Bunny is definitely raging and wrathful today."

He screwed up his face, mocking me. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Where did you get this?"

"I'm a tape trader, remember?"

"No. I'd definitely remember you telling me something like that."

"Well, maybe if you weren't so busy running your mouth all the time, you'd actually hear what other people have to say."

"This... this is fuckin' brutal. It's like, black metal meets speed."

Eddie was in his own little world. I threw my hands up in disbelief and shook my head.

"See. Didn't hear a damn thing I just said."

"You gotta make me a copy of this."

"You know, you're awfully demanding today."

He shot me a wink and handed over my headphones. I swiped them out of his hand giving him the evil eye.

"I figured you'd be listening to that goth or glam bullshit. What other cool stuff you got?"

"I've got a lotta cool shit. I got this in my most recent haul along with a demo from Guns 'N' Roses, and one from Faster Pussycat. But they're both glam bullshit," I emphasized sarcastically.

"Glam. Gay L.A. music, you mean."

"Oh, whatever, asshole. Axel Rose has some killer pipes. And Kelly Nickels, the bassist from Faster Pussycat... total YUM! He was actually in the running to be the bassist for W.A.S.P. Bet you didn't know that, did ya? UGHH! I swear, what I would give to be the center of a Blackie Lawless and Kelly Nickels sandwich." I scanned the horrified faces at the table and froze. "Um... sorry... I forgot I'm not sitting with Robin." I took a huge chug of my drink and averted my gaze, dying of embarrassment.

"Isn't Kelly Nickels that guy you said looks like Munson?"

I choked on my beverage, hacking, and coughing, leaving no room for subtlety. Stealing a glance at Eddie I saw his smug grin. I had to think fast.

"Uh, I did not say that, Gareth."

"I'm pretty sure you did."

"Well, you're wrong." I smacked his arm, wanting to crawl into a deep dark hole and die.

"Uh-huh... I knew it. You do wanna fuck me."

"Ugg! Munson, get over yourself." I stood up and collected my shit.

"Aw, come on. Where you goin'?"

"I've lost my appetite." I spat at Eddie. "Catch you later, losers." I turned to Dustin and Mike. "Not you two. You guys will always be my little cuties."

I scrunched my nose, kissed Dustin's head, and mussed Mike's hair, smiling at their giddy expressions, then I waved at Jeff and Doug, stuck my tongue out at Gareth, gave Eddie the finger, and left. I could still hear him laughing as I walked away.

Eddie's eyes followed you as you walked away. "Dude, you're gonna bore a hole in her back if you stare at her any harder."

"Hmph, she totally wants me," Eddie said smugly to no one in particular.

"Munson, just ask her out already and put us all out of our misery."

"That would negate the sister rule, Gareth."

"She's not my sister, so if you wanna give it a shot, be my guest. But you gotta stop comin' at her guns blazing, or she's gonna kick your ass."

"Now that I'd love to see."

"Jeff, if I want your opinion, I'll beat it outta you."

"Whatever, Munson, but Gareth's right. If this is your idea of playing it cool, it's not working. You need to stop being so rash... with all of us. She sees right through it, and it looks like it's starting to get to her."

Eddie thought about it for a moment. Maybe they're right. He loved his little sheep, and picking on you was his favorite pastime, but he was being an inconsiderate ass.

You've consumed Eddie's thoughts since the day Corroded Coffin started practicing at Gareth's house. He knew who you were. Being a year older than Gareth you'd already attended Hawkins High for a year, but you never actually spoke to one another until that fateful day in the fall of '83. You heard the commotion in the garage and decided to stroll over. That's when you two were formally introduced, and you permanently imprinted on his mind and his heart. It was the first day of the rest of his life, but you weren't yet 16, and he'd just turned 18 and he was not gonna open that can of worms. It didn't stop him from playfully pestering you every day. And when you turned 18 a few months back he bumped it up a notch, but lately, he's noticed that you've been on edge and not as receptive to his teasing. Was it losing its luster for you? Were you genuinely annoyed? He couldn't let that happen. You were too important to him, but there was only one way to find out, and he knew exactly where you'd be.

~~~~~

I entered the clearing in the woods and hopped onto the picnic table, hoping to spare myself any more embarrassment or harassment by finishing a cigarette before Eddie showed up.

I wasn't pissed at him, just pissy in general. He's been making it so much harder to mask my feelings and my sexual frustration with blatant denial, and I was starting to lash out, which made me feel incredibly guilty. I could try asking him to stop, but then he'd know something was up, so suffer I will. But it was evident as Eddie came strolling into the clearing that luck was not on my side today.

"Ah, shit... can't I have a moment's peace?"

"You're not escaping my sexy mug that easily, Bunny."

I smiled sarcastically, arms draped lazily over my knees. I watched Eddie park his ass next to me, pull a soft pack of Camels from his vest pocket, shake one out, and trap it between his lips. (Jesus, why when it comes to this man does my mind turn something so innocent into filth?) He flicked his Zippo shut and took a drag. Resting his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands together, he studied my face.

"What, do I have something in my teeth?" I started rubbing them with my finger.

"No."

"Then why are you staring at me?"

"'Cause you're sexy." He smiled slyly, taking another drag.

I exhaled heavily, leaning my forehead on my palms, visibly irritated.

"Ok, ok. I'll stop. I was actually wondering what you're doing for Schwag's class."

I whipped my head around, confusion written all over my face. Was I just transported into a parallel universe? Not only did Eddie stop teasing me on his own accord, but he's making small talk.

"What?"

"What are you doing for Schwagert's class?"

He flashed me a sweet smile, which is so unlike him. It was strange but refreshing, and it was stirring something inside me. I suddenly felt nervous, and uneasy... and kinda horny.

"Hey, you ok? You look like you're having some kinda... internal struggle. I promise I won't laugh if that's what you're worried about. I'm genuinely curious."

I was staring at him like he had three heads.

"Um, no... I um... I'm gonna do a portrait series."

"Self-portraits?"

"No, I hate self-portraits. I was actually considering drawing you if you wanna sit for me... and if you can keep your trap shut for a few hours."

His face fell. "You... you wanna draw me?"

"Yeah. Emphasis on the 'shut trap'." I took a drag from my cigarette as an embarrassing thought occurred to me, followed by more word vomit. "I mean, n-not like nude or anything." His smug ass perked right back up.

"Well, I'm not opposed," he said looking rather assuming.

"Dude, seriously."

He just kept laughing. "Ok, ok... but why me?"

"I don't know. You just have this... look." My eyes finally met his.

"I have a look?"

"Mm-hm."

I looked away sucking on my cigarette. Eddie was seemingly deep in thought and started playing with his rings.

"Um... what kinda look?"

"Not a bad look."

His head snapped up and he smiled mischievously.

"Really?"

I rolled my eyes. "Slow your roll, Munson... but yes. Your look, it's... well, it's distinctive and commanding. Good or bad, you can't deny that you have this... charisma... that makes you impossible to ignore. I wanna capture that." I was expecting some perverted retort, but it never came.

"Well, uh... that's... extremely flattering. I um... I didn't realize you saw me that way."

I couldn't read his expression, but the wrestlers in my stomach were at it again, powerbomb after powerbomb, and I felt the need to cover my tracks.

"I do. I mean, n-not like in that way. I can ignore you if I want to. You don't make it easy... b-but I can..." I rested my elbows on my knees, held my fingertips to my forehead, and sighed. "You just... your look is particular, that's all I'm saying." Shit, this was so embarrassing.

"Uh... o-kay?"

"So... will you do it?" I still couldn't look up.

"Absolutely! Just tell me when and where."

My head shot up. "Wow, um... ok, great... w-we could do it tonight if you want?"

I screwed up my face, immediately wanting to shove my foot in my mouth.

"Bunny, we can do it on this goddamn table, right here right now." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Jesus, I set myself up for that one. You know I didn't mean it like that."

He was giggling like an idiot. "Sorry, I couldn't pass up that opportunity."

Sorry? He never apologizes for his behavior.

"Ok, what the hell is up with you?"

"Whatta you mean?"

"I mean, you're being relatively polite, and making small talk. It's not like you. Did we transport to Bizarro World or something?"

He chuckled. "Just call me Eidde." He smiled bashfully. "I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to turn over a new leaf."

"Ok?" I shot him a sideways glance, but he just sat there, smoking his cigarette, smiling. "Well, we can start tonight at Gareth's." He nodded in agreement. "So what're you gonna do? Did you think of more ingenious ways to flaunt your hatred for Carver?"

He let out a huge belly laugh. "Um, no... Mrs. S. shot down my idea for a sequel. I'm probably gonna do an installation so I can incorporate my music."

"Oh! I like that idea. It's a shame about the sequel though. I was impressed with the original, but I'm biased. Carver's a douche with a capital bag."

We chuckled staring at each other for a moment.

"Yeah, well, it's nice to know someone appreciates my artistic talent."

Eddie placed his hand on my knee and gave it a little squeeze, but instead of shirking it off, I patted it, but he pulled away rather quickly, looking like he didn't know what he should do with his hand.

"So, you're really agreeing to help me?"

"Yep."

"Just like that? No... proposition or outrageous demands in return?"

"Well, since you suggested it..." His smile was wicked.

"Jesus, why the hell do I keep opening my big mouth?"

His grin widened. "Since your big mouth is already open, how 'bout a big sloppy blowjob... or I'll settle for a big wet kiss... or... we can cut right to the chase and finally fuck." He nudged my shoulder.

"Jesus, you're hopeless. Is that all? Do you want my first born too?" (Fuck! I did it again!)

"Well, I can cum inside you when we're fuckin'."

I shoved him so hard, I knocked his giggling ass off the table, but I welcomed the distraction of his laughing fit because the thought of him cumming inside me made my cheeks flush and my thighs clench involuntarily. If spontaneous combustion is truly a thing, consider me Spinal Tap drummer number seven. Luckily the position in which he fell and the time it took him to climb back onto the table was enough for me to collect myself.

"You're a fucking pervert."

"I know, I can't help it."

"Well, try." He nodded. "Why don't you agree to come to prom with all of us instead?"

"Um... that doesn't exactly benefit me. So, no... it has to be option 1, 2, or 3."

"Ok, then I guess I'll pick option 4, none of the above."

"Then you can't draw me."

His expression was serious. I didn't know how to react until he snickered and cracked a smile before erupting into full-on laughter. I smacked him upside the head and he yelped.

"You're such a dick, Munson."

He was still rolling, trying to catch his breath. "Ha! Uh ha, hmm... ok, fine, you can still draw me, but prom? That's really not my thing."

"You're missin' out."

"On what? Shitty music and jock scrutiny? No thanks. But I do wanna ask you something."

We locked eyes. His expression was foreign. He's never looked at me like this before. It was like... adoration mixed with worry. Was he nervous? He looked nervous. Or was I nervous?

"Does um... does my behavior bother you?"

I looked at him quizzically. Why would he care what I thought?

"Um... no. I mean, you definitely know how to push my buttons... and sometimes I just wanna strangle you... but you're one of my best friends. I understand your humor. But you do need to lay off the boys."

He looked only partially relieved. "Fair enough. I just... well, you're a cool girl... and I really enjoy our banter, but you seem a little on edge lately, so I just wanted to make sure. I've never had a female friend as accepting as you, so I don't wanna push you away."

I stared at him in shock, like maybe his three heads would sprout horns. He seemed genuinely worried about upsetting me.

"Ok, is this like, a reverse invasion of the body snatchers or something? Who are you?"

We both laughed. His smile was huge, and so fucking gorgeous. Then I saw it. The subtle movement of his eyes falling to my lips. Did I just see that, or did I imagine it? I felt lightheaded and my heart was pounding as he slid closer, smiling as he scanned my face. (Headlock, shoot off, drop down, leapfrog, hip toss, cover, and 1... 2... 3... wrestler pinned... insert pyro explosion here)

I think I stopped breathing, and then... (Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrringggggggg) Our heads swiveled toward the school. Ugg! That fucking bell. We turned our attention back to each other. Eddie let out a heavy breath, suddenly bashful, and awkwardly backed away, and I finally took a breath.

"Um... we... we should probably..."

"Yeah, um... I'll... I'll walk you back."

~~~~~

We walked through the hall in silence, still smiling, occasionally stealing glances at each other. I had no idea how to process what just happened. What did just happen? Was it even anything? I looked at Eddie. His smile was so bashful, almost innocent. It was so fucking CUTE I wanted to hug him, squeeze him, and call him George.

That's it... we were definitely in Bizarro World.

~~~~~

Sitting on the couch in Gareth's garage, my pencil flowed over the pages of my sketchbook with ease. Eddie was my fucking muse. It's amazing what I can accomplish when I'm drawing a willing participant. But when 'practice' was over, I had the misfortune of being a part of the most fucked up conversation in the history of conversations.

"Is that the latest Hustler? Ooo, toss that over here." Eddie wasted no time flipping through the pages.

"Jesus, you guys have a one-track mind."

"That's the pot calling the kettle black. I know for a fact you like to read those cheesy smut books."

I threw an empty beer can at Gareth. "Way to sell me out, asshole."

"Smut books, huh? A bit of a dirty bird aren't ya, Bunny?"

"This coming from the man who has a pile of nudie mags under his bed. And don't give me that 'I read the articles' excuse."

"I do read the articles."

"I'm not talking about letters to Penthouse." I smiled cheekily.

"She's got you there, Munson," Gareth said.

"Ok, my deviance is a surprise to no one, but this little dirty bird seems to be hiding more than just doodles. So, Bunny... what're your other guilty pleasures?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

I flashed him an irritated look. "Eddie, if you think I'm gonna tell you that you're outta your goddamn mind."

"Awww... come on. Don't be a prude."

Gareth, Jeff, and Doug turned their attention to Eddie, probably expecting me to kick his ass. I turned to look at him and sighed. He wasn't gonna let this go, so I figured I'd have a little fun with him.

"Alright... you really wanna know?"

Sitting on the edge of the couch, nodding like an idiot, a stupid grin spread across his face, Eddie anxiously awaited my reply.

"I wanna know."

"Me too."

Jeff and Doug, my peanut gallery.

"I'm not sure I do."

"SHHH! Shut up, Gareth. No one cares what you think."

Eddie was too preoccupied to notice Gareth giving him the finger.

"Ok... fine. If you really wanna know, I'll tell you."

Eddie took a sip of his beer. I could see the excitement in his eyes, so I exhaled heavily.

"Yes, I like smut novels. I draw a lot of erotic pictures, and I too read Letters to Penthouse. I also enjoy watching porn."

All four of them were frozen in place, Eddie in mid-swig and the other three with their jaws on the floor. Eddie swallowed hard before speaking.

"Like, what kinda porn?" He asked sheepishly.

All four boys were waiting impatiently with bated breath.

"Ok, um... well, the softcore, romantic stuff is my favorite, but I do enjoy a bit of hardcore." I gauged Eddie's reaction. He was mesmerized, eyes glued to my face as he took another sip of his beer. "I occasionally enjoy some girl-on-girl. Threesomes are so hot. Two girls and one guy, one girl and two guys, it doesn't matter. Like I said, I'm down for a Blackie/Kelly sandwich. Oh, and voyeurism. I love the thought of watching people fuck while I touch myself... really gets me goin'."

Eddie spit out a mouthful of beer and the others were all in a daze, mouths agape, processing everything I just said, but it was Eddie who broke the silence.

"And... how exactly did you pick up these little... hobbies?"

"Dude, I'm a shy, introvert, outcast... we're as freaky as they come."

"It's always the quiet ones," Doug said in disbelief.

"Mm-hm. Well... now that the cat's outta the bag, I have a date with my VCR and a naughty VHS. Later, losers."

(Suck it, Munson!) I gave a triumphant smile, winked at Eddie, turned on my heels, and headed to my garage making sure to shake my hips as I left.

Eddie sat staring at the ground. "I don't know about you guys, but I need a cold shower after that one."

"Me, too."

"Me three."

Eddie looked at his friends, who were all still in shock. "Do... do you think she's serious?"

He jumped off the couch and bolted after you.

"Hey, Munson, wait... MUNSON!" Gareth sprinted after Eddie and grabbed his arm before he could make it to your house. "Dude! Seriously? She was just fucking with you."

Eddie bowed his head in defeat and followed Gareth back to his garage. He sat down and resumed staring at the ground adjusting his crotch uncomfortably as Jeff and Doug grabbed their gear.

"You guys outta here?" Gareth asked.

"Yep. We'll see you tomorrow."

They waved goodbye and made their way to Jeff's car. Gareth turned his attention to Eddie, noticing his frustration.

"Munson, just fuckin' tell her."

Eddie threw his head back against the couch and rubbed his hands over his face, groaning.

"Come on, Gareth. You know I can't."

"Why?"

"'Cause we've got a good thing going. If I confess my love and she doesn't feel the same I'll lose her forever, or at the very least things'll just be incredibly awkward. But I can't stop fucking thinking about her." Eddie looked toward your house. "You know her better than I do. What should I do?"

"Ok, here's what I do know. If she's willing to take your shit... there's gotta be somethin' else there. No one's crazy enough to tolerate your dumb ass unless they want to, but if she does have feelings for you, she'll never make the first move, so I think you should approach her. I also know that she was lying at lunch. She can deny it all she wants but she really does think you look like that Kelly Nickels guy. That's gotta count for something."

Eddie smiled to himself. "Maybe."

"Well, either you tell her, or I will, 'cause all this pining shit... it's really fucking irritating. And swallow your pride, man. Ask her to prom. You know you'll have fun with her. Go ask her now. She's probably sitting in her garage."

Eddie let out a huge sigh. "Alright, man, but the whole feelings thing... let me test the water... if she seems receptive then I'll spill my guts."

"Good luck, dude."

Eddie gave Gareth a bro handshake, grabbed a couple of beers, and shuffled toward your garage. When he got close enough he heard you talking, probably on the phone. He knew he shouldn't listen but the devil on his shoulder convinced him otherwise, so he leaned against the corner of your garage just out of sight.

~~~~~

"Oh, come on, Robin. He was asking for it."

"Yes but when you do that it only riles him up more."

"Him? What about me? The flirting and teasing have only gotten worse. I can't fucking take it anymore."

"Exactly. You know how he is. If you keep egging him on you're only making things worse for you. Just tell him how you feel."

"Robin... you know I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because... he's my friend."

"And?"

"And... if he rejects me... things'll be super awkward. And if he still wants to be my friend I'll be forced to suppress my feelings just to maintain some sort of normalcy around him, and I'll be no better off."

"Did you at least ask him to the dance?"

"Not exactly. I suggested he come with all of us, but you know how he is. He's too proud to 'give in to the masquerade of forced conformity'." I said in my best Eddie voice.

"Well, I don't know what to tell you. Just keep dropping hints. Maybe he'll get the message."

"I hope so. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I want to be with him so fucking bad, but I don't wanna lose him."

"I understand, trust me I do."

"I know. Well, I'm gonna go watch my movie, take my mind off shit. Tell Steve I said hi."

"Hey, Dingus! Y/n says hi! He's waving at you."

"Nice."

"Well, we love you girly."

"Love you guys too."

I hung up the phone and stared at my open sketch pad, utterly lost in Eddie's image.

Eddie's eyes were wide with shock. He could only hear your side of the conversation, but he had no doubt who you were talking about. Jesus H. Christ! You have feelings... for him. You pretend you don't but you do! This... this changes everything! So why was this dread still lingering in his chest? Nerves maybe? He had to say something, but he didn't want to come on too strong. Act casual... yeah. That's what he'll do... just... act casual. After silently syking himself up he took a few deep breaths and decided to make his move.

"BOO!"

"JESUS CHRIST!" I jumped out of my skin, nearly falling off of my stool. "You think you're funny, asshole?"

Eddie was doubled over with laughter as I sat there clutching my chest.

"Hahahahaha! Ohhhh, no... I think I'm adorable."

"Ugg! I hate you so much, Munson."

"Awww, come on now. You know that's not true. May I come in?"

I released a heavy sigh. "Sure... whatever."

"Here, a peace offering."

He handed me a beer.

"Thanks."

We sat in silence for a moment as he checked out all the drawings hanging above my desk.

"Jesus, you're amazing. I love your style. The way you see the world, it's just... incredible."

"Thanks." I smiled bashfully.

He motioned to my open sketch pad.

"May I?"

"Sure." Ahhhhhhh! His smile makes my fucking insides liquefy.

"Oh, Bunny... these are fantastic! I've never looked so good." He flashed a cheeky smile and flipped to the front of the book.

"Nice try. You won't find anything. This sketchbook is strictly for school projects."

He let out a breathy laugh. "You caught me. I wish you'd show me your personal drawings. You're so passionate about your work. Like I am with my music."

"Maybe someday, Munson." I flashed him a sweet smile.

"Um, you mind if I turn on some tunes?"

"No, go ahead."

He started fiddling with the record player.

"Looks like your old man was listening to Clapton. I'll just leave that on."

"Works for me."

He positioned the record player needle and shuffled back to his chair.

"So... what's on your agenda for this evening... besides hardcore porn... and me?"

He smiled wickedly, pulled his smokes from his vest pocket, and went through his routine.

"Not fucking you, Munson."

I loved hearing him laugh, or talk... or move... or fucking breathe. Whatever the hell he was doing... I loved it.

"So, do you actually watch all that stuff, or were you just fuckin' with me?"

"Uh..." I eyeballed him hesitantly, but his expression was calm, and not flirtatious, so I gave him this one. "Yeah... I do."

He raised his brow and exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Well... that's um... that's hot. I was just gonna head home, get high, and play guitar, but now... I think I'm gonna have to rub one out. Care to turn it into phone sex? Preferably while you're still watching porn?"

(JESUS CHRIST! I know what I'm drawing tonight) I rolled my eyes. "Dude! What is with you? You've been so lewd lately. Like, more than usual." He smiled cheekily and stared at me. "No! No phone sex, no fucking, just... no!"

His whole body shook with laughter. "Ok, then I guess I'm goin' solo. So, if you're not gonna watch porn, what are you gonna do?"

I shook my head. "I'm gonna watch 'Help'."

"Can't say I've seen it."

"Really? It's a super corny Beatles movie."

"Oh, I know what it is, I just haven't seen it. Is it good?"

"I love it. It's one of my favorites. I watch it with my mom all the time."

"Speaking of the lovely Mrs. Y/l/n, where are your folks?"

"They're visiting my grandma this weekend."

"Well, that's a shame. I'll just have to schmooze your mom next time. So... was tonight's session enough to do your project, or do you need me to sit for you again?"

(Ok, what the fuck?) "Alright dude, what's going on? You're doing it again."

"What?"

"Oh, come on. For the past few months, you've been... I don't know... a lot more perverted, but today you're trying to incorporate small talk and some semblance of courtesy. So what's going on?"

"I don't know. Maybe I want you to see a different side of me, so I'm talking about things that aren't strictly sex oriented."

"Yeah, but why?"

"Well... maybe I like you."

"HA! Hyeah, right. If you don't wanna tell me the real reason, just say so. You don't need to make shit up."

"Who says I'm making shit up?"

I tried to play it cool, not letting on that the instant those words left his lips Hulk Hogan leg dropped King Kong Bundy.

"Uh... I am."

"Why? Is it so hard to believe that I could see you as more than just a friend?"

I scoffed. "Yeah, a fuck buddy, maybe."

Jesus, it felt like an Alien was about to punch through my chest. I reached for my smokes and lit up trying to thwart my anxiety.

Eddie nodded solemnly, but when 'Wonderful Tonight' started to play, he set down his beer and held out his hand.

"Wanna dance?"

I must've looked like a deer in headlights.

"What?"

"Come on... dance with me."

I snuffed out my cigarette looking at him hesitantly. He grabbed my hands and pulled me up, threw my arms around his neck, wrapped his around my waist, and pulled me close. He started swaying us back and forth, his head nestled next to mine, but when the chorus hit I got ballsy. Knowing this wasn't bound to last, I decided to live in the moment. I leaned my head on his shoulder, squeezed my arms tighter, closed my eyes, and started playing with his hair, but to my shock and delight, he tightened his grip around my waist and leaned his head against mine, grazing my back with his fingertips. We embraced silently for several minutes, and all I could think was that I could die happy at this very moment... and then he had to go and fucking ruin it.

"Go to prom with me?"

His voice was so faint I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. I lifted my head, our eyes lingering on each other's faces, and I scowled, about to lose my shit.

"What? Ok, now I know you're joking."

"I'm not joking."

"Eddie, stop it. This isn't funny."

I broke away and went to shut off the record player, ready to scream. We just held each other so fucking tight, and there was something about the way he touched me. Probably just wishful thinking, but it seemed like we had a moment.

"Al-alright fine. Don't believe me."

"Why should I when you've been shitting on the idea all day?"

He was silent. I slumped my shoulders, released a sigh, and faced him. "Ok, fine, don't answer me. I'm gonna go watch my movie."

Eddie was chewing on his thumbnail, his other hand in his pocket, and he was staring at the ground nodding. He actually looked disappointed, and I had to admit, I felt kinda guilty. I didn't want him to leave, but this charade had to stop.

"Hey, um... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. You don't have to go. I just... I want the nonsense to stop, ok? If you want you can watch 'Help' with me."

His head shot up so fast I thought he'd have whiplash.

"Um, yeah, ok. Your parents won't mind?"

"No, they know you. It's not like we're fuckin' or anything."

"Well..."

"DON'T... say it."

Signature Munson, never missing a beat. Jesus, my emotions were bouncing back and forth like a game of Pong.

~~~~~

We were on the couch in my basement, which also doubled as my bedroom. It was a pretty sweet setup if I say so myself.

"You're right. This is a really weird movie. Not as trippy as 'Tommy', but still pretty bad."

He pulled his arms up to shield himself from my slap but was unsuccessful.

"Oh, shut up. It's awesome and you know it. And so is 'Tommy'."

"No, you're right. I do like 'Tommy'. Ann Margaret's hot." His smile was so goofy.

"So is Roger Daltrey," I smirked. "Ooo, I love this part. Paul using the girl as a guitar."

"Ooo, that looks like fun. Come 'ere."

"What?" He reached for my arm and pulled me across the couch. "What... what're you...? Hey! Hahaha!"

"Come on, sit on my lap. Put your hand on your hip, hold the other arm out... there we go. Now... I play."

I was dying of laughter as Eddie played my arms like a guitar and started singing along to 'Another Girl'.

🎶For I have got, another girl

Another girl who will love me till the end

Through thick and thin, she will always be my friend

I don't wanna say that I've been unhappy with you

But as from today, well, I've seen somebody that's new

I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want

For I have got, another girl🎶

Eddie stopped playing, wrapped his arms around me, and pulled my giggling ass against his chest, continuing to rock me in time with the music, only this time, when the song ended, I stayed put.

"I thought you didn't like The Beatles."

"I never said that. I just said I never saw this movie, but my mom used to listen to them too."

I smiled, taking the opportunity to rest my head back against his shoulder and wrap my arms around his. I felt his hair tickle my neck, so I looked up and found him smiling at me. Our faces were so fucking close. I smiled back and he leaned down and kissed my cheek.

"W-what was that for?"

"Just felt like it. I'm having a good time."

"M-me too."

There was that look again. The same one from this afternoon at the picnic table. That look of adoration, but this time with a little something extra. And there was no bell. Nothing to break the trance. I couldn't look away as he scanned my face and brushed some stray hair behind my ear, his hand now resting on my cheek. A flash of eyes to lips, and then...

NOTHING!

He returned his arm to my waist and turned back to the TV.

(Mother... Shhhh... Jesu... what the... oh... SON OF A BITCH!!!) I couldn't even think a coherent sentence, so I turned my attention back to the movie. I must've been squirming too much because Eddie pulled my legs across his lap, which was a way more comfortable position, and I allowed myself to cuddle into his chest. I was so tired I should've passed out, but I couldn't shut off my brain.

"I love this song so much."

I started singing along with John Lennon to 'You've Got to Hide Your Love Away'. Eddie joined in, and we smiled at each other as we sang, and again he rocked me to the music.

🎶How can I even try?

I can never win

Hearing them, seeing them

In the state I'm in

How could she say to me

"Love will find a way"?

Gather 'round, all you clowns

Let me hear you say

Hey, you've got to hide your love away

Hey, you've got to hide your love away🎶

We couldn't peel our eyes off each other.

"You're voice is beautiful."

"Thanks," I whispered.

We stared a few moments longer before my nerves got the better of me, and I returned my head to his chest.

"You know, this whole album is like... a metaphor for our entire relationship."

What? Did he really mean that? Most of the songs were about want, need, and... love. I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't. I just buried myself deeper into his chest in reply, and again his arms tightened around me.

By the time the movie was over I could no longer keep my eyes open. The warmth of his body and his musky scent were so comforting.

"Hey, Bunny... you sleepy? You want me to leave?"

Without opening my eyes I shook my head, clutched onto his shirt, and whispered, "No... please don't go."

I have no idea where my newfound boldness was coming from, but Eddie didn't protest. Instead, he enveloped me in his arms and rested his cheek on my head.

"I won't, Bunny."

I smiled to myself as Eddie shifted us so we were lying down facing each other, my head still buried in his chest and his arms still wrapped tightly around me. I managed to open my eyes and look up. He was smiling, watching me, and like a moth to a flame, my hand found his face, my fingertips lightly grazing his features as my eyes followed their trek... his pale cheek, covered by little grains of stubble... his plush, pink lips, which parted slightly at my touch. He closed his eyes and leaned into it until my fingertips trailed to his cute, button nose, his forehead, and back through his hair, where I buried them behind his neck giving him a little scratch.

"Mmm, that's... that's nice."

He released a faint moan and slowly opened his eyes. They were glossy, wanton, and... unsure. His lips formed a sincere smile, and he started repeating my previous motions. His fingers explored my face, eyes following suit.

"Go to prom with me, Bunny."

His voice was so low, commanding even.

"Eddie, why?"

"Because I wanna spend time with you."

"You already spend time with me."

"I know, but... I just wanna go with you. Please say yes."

I sensed nothing but sincerity in his gorgeous eyes, and his voice, so I willed myself to whisper, "Ok... I'll go with you."

"Yeah?" His smile was enormous.

"Yeah."

He cuddled closer and kissed my head. (Flying elbow drop, off the top rope, straight to the gut) When I looked at him we were nose to nose. He nuzzled mine, lips parted. It was almost like a silent plea, begging me to close the gap, to finally let him taste my lips for the very first time, but I was frozen. His lips ghosted mine. I was practically cross-eyed staring at them, but he wouldn't take the plunge. I felt like I was trying to will him with a Jedi mind trick to just do it already, but the force is not strong with me, and he just lingered... the fucking tease.

"Have sex with me," he whispered, smiling playfully.

"What? No." I poked him in the gut, and he giggled.

"Come on. I know you want it as much as I do... and I think it's time we do something about it."

My brow furrowed, eyes darting back and forth in disbelief across Eddie's face. Who does this mother fucker think he is? I mean, I do in fact wanna fuck him, but that's not the point. It's the principle of the thing. I pushed his chest hard and got off the couch ready to lay into him.

"Hey, what---?"

"That's all I am to you, huh? Some... perverted game or prized sexual conquest? Do you have any respect?"

"What? N-no, that's..." he stood up and gripped my arms, "it's not like that at all."

"Then why do you keep pushing this?! I can't..."

I started to cry, unable to finish my sentence. I wanted to smack him, kick him outta my house, just... anything to make the pain stop, but I was so exhausted from this charade and all the mind games that I didn't have the strength to fight him anymore, so when he pulled me into a tight hug and kissed the top of my head I didn't fight him. I just let him hold me as I balled into his shirt.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just... not very good at this, so I'm going about it the only way I know how, and... well, I'm failing miserably, and um... Jesus, I don't know how the hell to do this."

"Do what?" I mumbled.

He pulled me back so he could look at my face, and caress my cheek. His expression immediately softened, but he looked uncertain and extremely nervous.

"Um, hhhhh... something I should've done a long time ago. I wasn't lying earlier. I like you... a lot... but it's more than that... I'm uh..."

"Eddie... what're you doing?"

There was a brief silence. And then... it happened...

"I'm ending our friendship."

And just like that, he closed the gap and encased my lips with his. The sweet pressure of it, the subtle transition of tongue against tongue, the soft, gentle strokes of his thumbs against my face. It was perfect. I couldn't speak, but I needed reassurance. I slowly broke the kiss.

"Hyou... you're serious... aren't you? You're not just saying all this so I'll sleep with you?"

Now he looked like he wanted to cry.

"Y/n, no... you know me better than that. I'm just... a big oaf, but I would never take advantage of you. I just... I wanna be with you. And yes, I... I really wanna fuck you... but not as a buddy. I want you to be my girl. We don't have to do a damn thing. I'd be elated to just hold you for five minutes, but I need you to know this. I--I'm in love with you."

(DDT into a flying body press, followed by a sit-down drop to the gut) I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the onset of tears. Oh my God... oh my God, oh my God, oh my God... oh my FUCKING God! I opened my eyes slowly. We were nose to nose. He flicked his tongue lightly against my lips, and the bastard fucking smiled.

"Munson... hyou-- you're fucking evil." The words came out with my breath.

"I know..."

He cupped his hand under my knee, wrapping my thigh around his hip, and with an arm around my back, he pulled me flush against him. HOOOLY FUCKING SHIT! I could feel how hard he was as he ground his bulge against my aching cunt. My fucking eyes rolled into the back of my head and my breathing hitched. Jesus, Fuck! He was playing so dirty. I wanted to curse him out, spew every obscenity known to man and then some. When I opened my eyes, he was smiling devilishly.

"But you still wanna fuck me... don't you?"

I nodded involuntarily, as if I no longer had control of my body, and Eddie's tongue shot into my mouth. His kiss was hurried, and vivacious, our faces smashed so close together it hurt... but I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and without parting he hiked me up by my thighs and carried me to my bed.

He fell onto the mattress with me on top of him, shifting his body under my weight, continuing to breathe new life into me. His hands found my ass, greedily squeezing before gliding gently up my sides, lifting my shirt. The touch of his hands on my bare skin sent shockwaves up my spine. I broke away just long enough to grab the bunched fabric and rip it over my head throwing it to the floor. Like he couldn't function without them, he found my lips again.

"Mmm, mhh, hhhh... Bunny, I know I joke, but I'm not fuckin' around. Are you sure you want this?" He smoothed back my hair and searched my eyes.

I smiled brightly, tears flowing freely. "Eddie, I want this. I want you."

"Yeah?" He asked, just to be sure.

When I nodded he crashed his lips to mine, drinking them in, savoring them as I've wanted him to for so fucking long.

He rolled me onto my back, trailing hot, wet kisses down my neck, licking softly between my breasts. The heat of his breath was like fire on my skin, and it burned so good. He gently tugged at the front of my bra freeing my perky tits, stopping to admire me.

"Jesus H. Christ... you're so beautiful."

When he finally took a hard peak into his mouth, my back arched, my brow creased, my teeth clenched, and I sucked in a breath of praise, shaking from the stimulation.

"Mmm... Jesus, you're nipples are sensitive. Have they always been like that?"

"N-no... hoh--only when I'm... really turned on. And I-- I've been waiting... so long... for you to touch me like this."

I gasped as he gently flicked my nipple with the tip of his tongue, trailing it up my neck. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips, cupped my cheek, and kissed my forehead tenderly before leaning his on mine.

"My sweet, beautiful Bunny. I've been dreaming of touching you like this for ages, and I wanna take my time with you... to make our first time together last, but I don't think either one of us is gonna make it." He let out a breathy laugh. "Just seeing you, hearing you... knowing how you make me feel, and... knowing how you feel about me..."

He was shaking with urgency, lip quivering, running his hands through my hair, brushing my face with his fingertips... he was manic... and it was beautiful.

"Eddie... I know... there'll be time for all that. I just wanna be with you now."

He exhaled, eyes still shut tight, and he nodded before claiming my lips in a passionate kiss.

"Mhhhh... you're sure about this? About me?"

I gave him a sweet pout, cupped his face, and pulled his forehead to mine.

"Eddie... I want everything with you... and only you."

His whimper was resounding, muffled by my own as we kissed feverishly.

"Mmhhh, Y/n... are you safe? Can-can I take you raw?"

His expression was sweet. He was watching, waiting, yearning as he searched my face.

"Eddie, yes... I love you."

The instant the words left my lips he ravished mine. I ripped off his shirt and tossed it away, quickly locking lips again as he rushed to undo his belt. Without parting we both fumbled with his jeans only bothering to push them just past his hips, and in seconds he was pushing himself inside me. I sucked in a sharp breath, and he was shaking, mouth agape, eyes shut tight as he buried himself to the hilt.

"Ohhhhhsweet... Jeeesus!" He stilled, little broken moans reverberating throughout his chest as we got used to each other.

"Eddie, it's ok... I'm-I'm ok, uuh! Hyou--you can move."

He exhaled heavily and slowly started thrusting, adjusting to the tight space.

"GodDAMN! Hyou, mgghh... you feel better than anything I could've imagined. So soft, so warm... so fucking tight! Jesus, you're perfect."

He leaned his forehead to the crook of my neck as he picked up his pace. I was moaning like a harlot, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. It was pure fucking bliss. I wrapped my legs around his hips, holding him so close.

"I... I couldn't take it anymore." He breathed out. "I--I've been in love with you... since the day we met. Needed this... needed you... so fucking bad. Haww, uhhhh, FUCK!"

My heart skipped a beat. His thrusts were steady, almost prolonged, like he didn't want to consider the notion of this moment ending.

"Eddie, mhhh... I-- I've been dying to hear you say those words."

He lifted his head to look at me, and he was beaming, smoothing my hair back.

"Mhh, my angel. You... you doin' ok? You feel good? Uhhhh."

UGGGG! He was so fucking sweet.

"Eddie..." I ground my hips into him, coaxing from him a delicious guttural moan. He closed his eyes and lowered his head, but I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. "I'm loving this. We're finally together. Please... don't stop until you make me yours."

He stared at me as if he wasn't sure I was telling the truth. I placed a small kiss of reassurance on his lips, and they turned up into a huge smile. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was about to cry. He immediately claimed my lips, wrapped his arms around my back, and started to move faster. His movements, his touch, his eyes... they said so much, and nothing at all. He made me feel so goddamn good I began to come undone.

"Eddie... I'm-I'm close."

"Uhhh, that's my girl." He immediately rolled us over so he was on his back. "Fuck me, Bunny. Make yourself feel good, ungghh, mhhh yeah, just like that. Hoh, oh fuck! Cum... cum for me, Bunny."

I pressed my hands, to his chest, spread my thighs wide, and fucked him hard until all I could do was throw my head back and scream his name.

"Eddie, oh, ohfuck, FUCK! EDDIE!!!"

I came hard on his thick cock. His body tensed, and I knew he was done for, but I continued to grind and swirl my hips.

"Eddie, I wanna hear you, feel you. Cum inside me, baby. Please... cum for me."

I have never heard a more beautiful sound in my life. He pulled me down, rolled us over, laced our fingers together, and held them above my head, as he ground his hips into mine.

"Mm-Y/n, I'm-I'm gonna fill you up... make you mine. Uhhhhh, fuck... FUCK!"

He gave one more powerful thrust, and his body shuddered. Making the most lewd, yet seductive sound I ever had the pleasure of witnessing, he pumped me full of his seed. Once he was finished he collapsed onto his side, his chest heaving, covered in a sheen of sweat.

"Uhhh... mhhh, h-holy shit..."

He smiled, met my blitzed-out gaze, and started laughing. I placed my hand on his cheek, and he closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. When he opened them he let out a content sigh. He reached for me, wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me into the spoon position. Looking down at me, he tilted my chin with his finger so he could see my face. He smiled brightly as an equally giddy smile crossed my lips, and he kissed me, squeezing me tight. I couldn't describe the happiness I felt.

"Eddie?"

"Yeah, Bunny?"

"How did you know?"

He chuckled. "I heard you talking to Robin earlier."

"You were eves dropping?"

"Guilty as charged. I knew it was wrong, but I'm glad I did it."

"Hmm, me too. Do you really wanna go to prom?"

"Not particularly. But I'm not about to let you guys have all the fun without me, so I'm willing to damage my hard-earned rep for you. I just wanna be with you, Bunny."

He placed sweet, wet kisses on my bare shoulder.

"Well, you're one hell of a dancer. Surprised the shit outta me." Mhh, those fucking giggles.

"I know a thing or two." He took his arm from around my waist, laced our fingers together, and held them close to my chest. "I also knew I'd get you to fuck me."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Eddie Munson... you're such an ass... but don't ever change." I turned my head to look at his smiling face, and he kissed me passionately. "Mmm, so... why didn't you tell me you liked me? I was on the verge of imploding."

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I asked you first."

"Hmm, m-hm, hmm! Well, I wanted to. Gareth was my number one cheerleader... but I was too chicken shit. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you if you didn't feel the same way. But when I heard you talking to Robin... it was like... a weight lifted from my shoulders. I love you, Y/n... so fucking much. I fell in love with you the moment we were introduced... but you were so young. So when you turned 18, I just..."

"You started laying it on thick. Jesus, I can't believe I didn't put two and two together."

"Yeah, well... it seemed to have the opposite effect I was going for. Apparently I came off a lot more irritating than charming, so Gareth and Jeff told me to dial it back, and that's when the small talk started."

"I can't believe I was so blind."

"You and me both, Bunny, but now it's your turn, so fess up."

"Hmm, then let me up. I need to show you something."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, just for a moment. I promise."

Eddie kissed my knuckles and reluctantly let me up. I retrieved a stack of sketchbooks and made my way back to the bed. I plopped down and placed the books in front of him.

"Go ahead."

He rolled onto his side, and I watched as he opened them and scanned the pages in disbelief.

"Are-are these for the project?"

"No. Look at the dates."

He checked them all, page after page, book after book.

"You... you've been drawing me since freshman year?"

"Yeah. That's why I never let you see anything. I know that's kinda creepy, but I just..."

"Uh... this one's far from creepy. We are definitely doing this later."

He pointed to one of my more risqué drawings, smiling mischievously, and I blushed.

"Anyway..." I exaggerated, "I couldn't keep my eyes off you. I've been crazy about you since my first day of school. And when we finally started hanging out, and you began teasing me all the time, I fell for you... hard, but by that point I was deep in the friend zone, and it seemed like you only thought of me as one of the guys. I didn't wanna jeopardize our friendship either, so... I hid my feelings. I thought if you knew the truth... that our banter, the flirting... everything... would all end, so I played along. But when the teasing got worse it became excruciating, so I started lashing out. But I love you, Eddie... with all my heart, and after what we just shared... I've fallen even harder."

I was balling like a baby, and when Eddie trapped me in his arms I melted into him.

"Hey, don't cry, Bunny."

I chuckled through sobs. "They're happy tears, Eddie. Just years of pent-up emotion and sexual frustration finally being expelled. And I really dig the name Bunny. You can call me that one all the time."

"Done. My sweet... soft... beautiful... raging... wrathful Bunny." He kissed my lips between every word. "Mmm, mhh. Can I spend the night?"

"What? Oh, fuck no! Get your shit and go. I got what I wanted." I smiled playfully.

"Hey now, there's only room in this relationship for one asshole."

"I beg to differ."

He wiggled out of his jeans, pulled me down with him and we held each other close. It took mere minutes for us to succumb to the exhaustion. It was the best night's sleep I've had in a long time.

~~~~~

Prom night had finally come. My house was abuzz as all the girls gathered here to get ready while our parents socialized. I was a ball of nerves waiting to see what Eddie had in store for me.

"Alright, look up and hold still... now close your eyes." Nancy lifted my chin and proceeded to apply my eye eyeliner.

"Thanks for doing this, Nancy. Robin and I aren't really make-up girls."

"Don't mention it. You're much less fidgety than Robin."

Nancy was such a sweet girl. Another perk of being friends with Mike and Steve.

"There we go. Hand me your lipstick."

I did as she asked, and she proceeded to apply.

"So... how are you and Munson dealing at school? Blot."

I opened my mouth and clamped my lips down on the piece of toilet paper Nancy was holding.

"Well, we had our fair share of jock harassment on Monday, but I nipped that one in the bud."

"Yeah, Jonathan and I dealt with that crap too. Just let it roll off your shoulder. People eventually get bored. And how about prom? I never thought I'd see the day when Munson would attend."

"Yeah, he feels like he's going against everything he stands for, but if you ask me, I think he's secretly enjoying himself. He won't tell me a damn thing about his outfit, just that I needed to wear black and red. Steve took him shopping, but Eddie swore him to secrecy. All Steve would say is that once he showed Eddie that he could look good and keep his metalhead flair he was very receptive. Steve was proud of him."

Nancy flashed a sweet smile.

"Nancy! Y/n! Get your asses up here! The boys will be here any minute!"

"Keep your panties on Robin, we're comin'!" I took a deep breath as Nancy put the finishing touches on my make-up.

"Ok, all done."

I took one last look at myself in the mirror. My hair was huge, but it fit the theme, and my make-up looked amazing.

"Nancy, you're a miracle worker. I appreciate it!"

"No problem. I love these colors on you. Too dark for my taste, but they suit you."

We smiled at each other, put on our masks, wrapped an arm around each other, and squeezed each other's shoulders.

"Well... you ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Nancy took my hand and we headed upstairs.

~~~~~

"AHHHHH!!! You... look... amazing. Eddie's gonna flip his shit."

"Thanks, Robin."

"Alright girls, get together. I want some pictures. Make sure you have your masks."

"Mom, wait. Where's Max and El."

"We're right here!" Max yelled, dragging El behind her.

We all gathered in my living room in front of the fireplace, pushing and shoving, trying to get situated.

"Alright, girls. Everyone look this way. One... two... three!"

"Cheeeeeeese!" We all chimed in unison.

We appeased our parents with several photos and that's when we heard the horns.

"Ooo! They're here. Come on let's go!"

Robin grabbed my hand and yanked me toward the front door. Standing in the driveway we watched as two limos pulled up the street. Girls and mothers alike joined the reprise or 'ooo's' and 'ahh's' and 'wows' as the boys piled out of the limos dressed to the nine. They were all so handsome.

"I don't see Eddie."

As soon as the words left my lips it was like the parting of the Red Sea. All the boys moved to the side to reveal Eddie in a devil mask wearing all black save for the red paisley vest and the trim that lined his leather waistcoat. It was gothic steampunk meets metalhead pirate. When he removed his mask he was smiling.

"Someone catch me, I think I'm gonna faint."

Robin grabbed my arm. It was like time stopped, save for Eddie and me. I stood there with my jaw on the ground, eyeballing him up and down as the boys made their way toward us. It was like watching a slow-motion male model montage. When Eddie was finally in front of me he pulled a single long-stemmed rose from behind his back and presented it to me.

"My lady."

I took it hesitantly, unable to speak. I just gawked trying to find my voice.

"You um... ha! Good God you look... so goddamn fuckable," I managed to whisper.

He chuckled. "Hmm, later. I see you followed my instructions. You look absolutely gorgeous. And the bunny mask? Excellent touch."

"I like yours too. Is that your way of protesting your participation in the forced social conformity?"

He chuckled and nodded. "I thought you'd appreciate that."

He claimed my lips with so much passion I forgot we were surrounded by a giant group of people, including my parents.

"Alright, alright. Break it up you two."

We broke apart in protest. Eddie looked at the ground sheepishly, and I pawed at my face, making sure my make-up wasn't a mess.

"Um, sorry Dad."

"Yeah, I'm sorry Mr. Y/l/n. She's just..." Eddie turned to look at me, "so beautiful."

"Mm-hm, she's also my little girl, so mind your manners." My dad held out his hand to Eddie, which he shook happily and with much relief. "You clean up nice, Eddie."

"Thanks, Mr. Y/l/n." They smiled before my dad clapped Eddie's shoulder in approval.

"Oh, get outta the way. Let me take a look at you, Eddie." My mom cupped his cheeks and gave him a once-over. "You look so handsome."

She trapped him in a hug, kissed him on the cheek, pulled back, and smiled.

"Thank you, Mrs. Y/l/n."

He kissed my mom's hand, making her blush, and then she ran to her next victim.

"Gareth Emerson, get your butt over here! Ooo, and who is this pretty lady?"

My mom's voice trailed off and Eddie and I laughed, focusing on each other. After several minutes of socializing and more pictures, I reminded my parents that we were all spending the night at Steve's, and then we finally made our way inside the limos and headed to Hawkins Hall.

~~~~~

The prying eyes were everywhere, but to our surprise, they were out of delight and not hatred.

"Bunny, is it just me, or have the jocks backed off lately?"

"Yeah, I may've had something to do with that."

"Oh? How's that?"

"Well, Monday was the last straw, so I told Carver that if he doesn't shut his dick licker and leave us and the other outcasts alone, the whole school would find out what he and his goons do in the locker room when they think no one's looking."

"Hahaha! What?! Are you serious?"

"Mm-hm."

"And how, pray tell, did you come across that juicy bit of gossip?"

"Well, it pays to have an ex-jock as a friend."

"Wha... Harrington told you this?!"

"That I did, my good man." Steve appeared out of nowhere and clapped Eddie on the shoulder. "Y/n came to the video store a few months back practically in tears, and I was pissed. I can't stand those assholes either, so... I figured that information might come in handy."

"Harrington, I could kiss you."

"Please don't."

They both smiled, and with a chuckle, Eddie patted Steve on the back.

"Thanks for the help, man. You're alright."

Steve gave Eddie's shoulder another pat and proceeded to escort Robin into the building. ~~~~~

I'm surprised none of us passed out from exhaustion. We sat only to eat. The rest of the time we were on the dance floor regaling each other with our moves.

Lucas was a break dancing and moonwalk prodigy. Dustin is a master at the worm. Max and El can replicate any Madonna move known to man. It was a fucking riot. We were cracking each other up with the more ridiculous dances, like me catching Eddie with the fishing pole, Steve and Robin doing the sprinkler, Steve, Eddie, Jonathan, Robin, me, and Nancy doing the library dance from 'The Breakfast Club', all the younger boys doing the Robot, and the lot of us doing the running man. Eddie even had a chance to flaunt his usual shenanigans, which meant dancing on top of a table. That was until Mrs. S. came over and made him get down. And me being a closet disco nerd was forced by Robin to do John Travolta's dance from Saturday Night Fever. I was so fucking nervous, but the cheers, and accompaniment of several other students who also knew the dance, including Robin and Chrissy Cunningham, helped my fear to dissipate. And of course, the majority of the student body performed Michael Jackson's Thriller. At the end of the night, to no one's surprise, Jason and Chrissy were crowned prom king and queen.

It was almost surreal. For the first time in... well, ever... there was no anger or animosity. Everyone in the building was getting along, and when it came time to leave, Chrissy made sure to find me and tell me how much fun she had dancing with me. She gave me a sincere smile and a big hug, but the strangest thing of all was when Jason confronted Eddie, but instead of disdain he offered a handshake thanking him for the entertainment. Eddie accepted his hand and congratulated him on winning prom king, and they actually smiled at each other. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it.

When it came time for the after-party at Steve's house, Eddie and I took the opportunity to slip away and head back to his trailer so we could be alone.

~~~~~

We devoured each other like animals as we made our way through his trailer to his room. Feverish, sloppy kisses, lips and chins and necks, back to lips, until he pulled away, revealing a malevolent smile.

"As gorgeous as you are in this dress... I've been waiting all night to get you out of it. Off... now."

I did as he commanded, slowly peeled off my dress, and let it fall to the floor. My black lace bra and panties, stalkings, and garter belt were all that remained.

"Jesus Christ, you're stunning, Bunny."

Eddie stared at me with a carnal desire, drinking in the sight of my body, removing his clothing until he was shirtless. He advanced toward me slowly and started running his hands gently up my sides, and around my shoulders so he could unclasp my bra. I stood completely still as he dropped the flimsy article to the floor. He backed away slowly, his eyes glued to my tits. When he met my gaze I made a show of removing my panties, but when I tried to remove my stalkings he grabbed my hands.

"No... leave 'em on. The garter belt too. You're perfect just like this."

Eddie was breathing heavily, blackness consuming his eyes. He leaned forward to trap my nipple between his lips, sucking, licking, teasing each one in turn as I cradled his head, my needy whines and mewells filling the room.

"Mrrmm, Eddie... hyou-you're gonna make me cum."

"Mhhhh..." He released my nipple with a pop and straightened up. "Not yet, Bunny. I wanna taste you first." He gently cupped my tits and licked at my lips until I took his tongue into my mouth. "Hmmm... can I taste you?" He whispered his words, his hot breath sweeping across my face.

"Hhhhyes."

Before I knew it I was on my back, and Eddie was licking a slow, soft trail down my stomach. He latched his lips to the tender flesh of my waistline and sucked a deep purple mark into my skin.

"Mmm... you're mine now, Bunny. I can finally take my time with you."

All I could do was moan at his words. He kissed his mark, knelt on the floor in front of me, and pulled me to the edge of his bed. I could feel his hands, the cool metal of his rings, smoothing gently over my inner thighs, spreading them. I caught the sound of an inhale and felt his warm breath against my wet heat when he exhaled.

"Oh, Bunny, your scent... I need it all over me. On my fingers... my face... hmmm, my tongue. Look at me." I lifted my head long enough for his eyes to silently ask for permission. I gave him a shy nod, but instead of diving in like I figured he would, he lingered, took a quick taste with a flick of his tongue, and savored.

"Mgghh, Christ, that's so sweet."

The instant I felt his fingers slip into my folds I shrieked. His touch was gentle, massaging my thigh with one hand as his fingers barely grazed my inner lips and my clit. It was at that moment I knew that he was hell-bent on torturing me, teasing me, prolonging my pleasure until I was ready to burst. He wasn't going to give me what I so desperately wanted, not until I was begging for it, for him... and I would. I would do anything this man asked of me if it pleased him. When I felt the tip of his finger trace light circles over my clit I wanted to cry. I had a moment's reprieve when he stopped to lick his fingers clean.

"Mmmm, hhhhhh, Bunny, you taste like heaven... but if you don't stop squirming I'm gonna have to pin you down."

"Eddie... wh-why are you being so cruel?"

"Oh, Bunny... I've only just begun."

He blew a light stream of air on my clit until I whined, then he licked me gently from my dripping hole to my hard bud. I was thrashing around, trying to quell the sensation, only to have my thighs pinned to the mattress, by his strong, unyielding grip. Using the tip of his tongue he lightly teased the sensitive skin of my lips, and toyed with my swollen clit until I was sobbing from the pleasure. I tried to touch my sensitive nipples, to rush my release, but he reached up, locked his hands around my wrists, and held them at my sides so he could use his forearms to pin my thighs, then he flattened his tongue and licked from my ass to my clit. I screamed in frustration.

"Eddie, for fuck sake, please! Please let me cum."

He ignored my plea, continuing to fuck me with his tongue until he was ravenous. His pace not letting up as he devoured my pussy like he was starving.

"Holy fucking shit, Munson! Stop... please, just, just fucking stop!"

He halted immediately, breathing heavily. When he took a hand from my wrist to wipe his face, I made my move, twisting violently until I was free of his agonizing hold. I got to my knees, grabbed him by his belt, and pulled him roughly onto the bed, pushing him onto his back. I crawled up his body, straddled his head, and sank my cunt onto his waiting mouth. He dug his fingers into my thighs, the pain shooting through me, but I didn't care. I could finally get what I wanted.

"Mhhhh, Eddie... Yes, YES!" He moaned at my praise, sending chills up my spine. Fuck! The things this man can do with his mouth. I tangled my fingers tightly into his hair and fucked his face. "Munson... hoh... shit, SHIT!!! Hyou... you're gonna tell me... every dirty detail... about how you learned to do this... so fucking well! Fuck, I wanna cum for you!"

He moaned into my pussy. I could hardly control my breathing as small high-pitched whimpers escaped my lips. I was so close to the edge.

"Mhhhhhh..."

The vibrations of his moans, his caressing lips, and the flick of his tongue against my clit were making me buck even harder as his painful grip on my thighs held me steady. I've never felt pleasure like this. He was too good, I could feel a sensation so incredibly earth-shattering building inside me. He must've felt it too 'cause he reached up to tease my nipples, as he feasted, lapped, licked, and sucked at my dripping pussy. My whimpers were loud, shameless, and FUCK were they warranted. I was plunged into a realm of pleasure and bliss, and Eddie was the cause. I let go of his hair, cupped his hands over my tits, and ground my pussy against his face as I experienced the most intense orgasm in the history of sex.

"OhhhhhhFUCK!!! Oh... GOD!... Eddie, EDDIE... Holy SHIT!!!"

"Mmmm, that's it, Bunny. Mhhhhhh."

I continued screaming his name as he greedily sucked and lapped at the sticky mess that poured from my pussy.

"Mmmmm! Fuck! You're taste... it's so goddamn satisfying! Hhhmm!"

He lapped once more at my overstimulated clit. I tried to steady my breathing as I climbed off of him, collapsing onto my back. Breathing heavily he turned his head to look at me, rolled onto his side, and propped himself on his elbow so he could stare at me. His eyes trailed up and down my body, so I decided to tease him. He was in the perfect position to watch. I put my knees up and spread them wide, dipping a finger into my still-dripping folds. I coated it with my slick juices and ran a trail of cum up the middle of my body before raising my finger to his lips. He let out an adorable whimper before sucking it clean.

"Mmmmm... Jesus Christ... you're fucking intoxicating."

He shifted his body, hovering above me so he could trace the trail of cum with his tongue, then he pressed his weight against me, kissing me deeply, passionately before he got to his knees to unbuckled his belt. He undid his pants and pushed them off. Once they were on the floor with the rest of our discarded clothing, he leaned over me, the head of his throbbing cock pushing against my heat. He took my hard peaks into his mouth once more gently teasing my sensitive nipples with the tip of his tongue. The soft tickles were too much to bear, and I almost came, only to be denied. He sat back on his heels, his knees spread wide so his massive erection was standing at attention between my legs, but before he could pull me toward him I quickly got on all fours facing him and wrapped my lips around his swollen head.

"Ohhhhhhhhh..." he breathed out.

He started convulsing as I used my tongue to toy with his slit. I sucked his head into my mouth and slowly swallowed him whole until my nose was touching his coarse, dark pubes. He brushed his fingers through my hair, holding it back so he could watch as I took him in and out of my mouth.

"Oh, Bunny... uhhhhyeah... suck me, beautiful... just like that... ohhhhhh."

Still sitting on his heels he leaned back, braced himself on his hands, and spread his knees wider. I pulled all the way off of him before sucking him into the back of my throat.

"OH!! God...DAMMIT!!!"

I swallowed hard around him, releasing him to catch my breath, and sank again, slurping and gagging as he used one hand to hold my head, and I loved every second of it. When he let me surface for air his chest was heaving. I grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed as I vigorously sucked his tip. He sucked in a hiss, his breath catching in his throat, chest heaving as I started to work him faster. His vocals just made me more feral.

"Oh...SWEET JESUS!!! You're... you're fucking phenomenal... Uhhnnggg..."

My strokes and his breathing became more erratic.

"Oh, oh, fuck! That's my good girl, my good Bunny, mhhhhh... keep-keep going. Take me deep. OhhhhhhFuck! YES!"

With his fingers clenched in my hair and his cock lodged deep in my throat, I sucked his soul through his dick. His body was shuddering, jolt after jolt of sexual electricity, until he pulled my head up.

"Jesus Christ! That-that's so fucking good, hhmhh... but I don't wanna cum yet..... HOH! GODDAMN!"

His whole body tensed as I licked him from balls to tip, sucking his sensitive head one last time. When he opened his eyes he caught my smug smile, threw his head back, and started laughing.

"That was payback, you teasing fuck."

His laugh morphed into a heady moan as I trailed my tongue through his pubes, over the wiry muscles of his stomach until I was on my knees, teasing his hard nipple with my tongue. He caressed my head tenderly as I suckled before he forced it up and shoved his tongue down my throat.

"MmmHmmm... hhhhhhh. O-ok, I get it. I've met my match. Now lie back baby girl."

With his knees under my thighs and my hot wet cunt begging to be filled, we made eye contact.

"Oh, Bunny... you're so gorgeous it hurts. Are you ready for me?"

"Munson, if you don't put your dick inside me, like yesterday, I'm never speaking to you again... now fuck me!"

I threw my head back and whimpered as Eddie grasped my thighs and plunged his cock deep inside me.

"Oh, FUCK! Munson! PLEASE!"

I stared at him through half-lidded eyes, mouth agape as I rubbed my tits. With every powerful thrust I became more and more excited... and so very close to another intense orgasm. He used a thumb to tease my sensitive clit. I arched my back, my tits moving up and down with every heavy breath. He dug his fingers into my thigh, still teasing my clit as he continued to pound into me, willing me to scream his name.

"Oh... FUCK! EDDIE!!! Oh my God. I'm gonna cum!!!"

"That's it Bunny... take my cock. Wanna, MRRGGG! Wanna watch your sweet pussy gush from what I do to you. I want it all over me."

"Oh, that fucking mouth, Munson!"

"You mean this mouth?"

He wrapped his arms around the small of my back, leaning down to lick and kiss my navel, then he lifted me upright so he could claim my tits again, licking and sucking as he held me close, his course hair rubbing against my clit as he fucked up into me. My walls started to clench around him, so he laid me down and ran his hand from my tits back to my clit.

"Scream for me, Bunny... scream my fucking name!"

He commanded me, letting his head fall back as he fucked me and continued to rub circles around my clit with his thumb.

"Oh... holy shit, Eddie! EDDIE! Oh my GOD!"

Screaming, I clenched the sheets and a burst of liquid sprayed all over his abdomen.

"YES! OHHHHHHFUCK!!! I'm-I'm gonna bust. C-can I come inside you?"

"Yes! Do it!"

He slammed into me one last time and his whole body tensed.

"Ohhhhh, Fuck!!! God.... DAMMIT!!! HOHHHH, ohhh my gorgeous girl."

His fingers dug into my waist until he rode out his release and collapsed on top of me. I threw my limbs around him as he poured all of his emotion into our kiss. I was on the verge of tears.

"Munson... I love you. I love you so much." We hugged each other so tight. "Hyou... you can do that to me forever if you like."

He looked up, still breathing hard, and smiled. Staring into my eyes with all the love in the world, he brushed some hair from my face, placed one more passionate kiss on my smiling lips, rolled us onto our sides, and pulled me tightly to his chest.

"Hmm, my beautiful, raging... wrathful, Bunny. I love you more than life itself. Ending our friendship was the best decision we ever made."

•••••❤️❤️•••••

Thank you for reading! Be excellent to each other, and get your Munson on!

🤘

Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington from 'Welcome Back Kotter'... Hi there!

Vinnie Barbarino from 'Welcome Back Kotter'

The Beatles 'Another Girl' video from the movie 'Help'

Your prom dress and mask.

[jen-with-a-pen]

ALL TIED UP - THREE

Previous ⊹ Series

summary: Steve already feels like a fish out of water at the gym. An encounter with a girl and Bucky leaves him gasping for air and grasping for what the hell is going on behind Bucky's frat boy facade. At least he gets some sweet relief, some coffee, and some courage, when he see his favorite barista.

pairings: Art Student!Frat Brother!Steve Rogers x Film Student!Sorority Sister!Reader

word count: 2.5k

warnings: implied misogyny (Bucky and Sam really are Frat Bros™), gym gains + weight mention, Steve's just trying his best, fake crying, possessiveness + demanding obedience, Steve should try to listen to his gut more, successful attempts at flirting

a/n: i'm pleased to be able to finally introduce our reader from steve's pov! i can't wait until i can share her side of the story with you all ♥ enjoy! also a just-in-case thank you to those who have been patient with my posting. i know my masterlist currently has a schedule, but after an abrupt work trip and conference following, i got thrown off by a week. shoulda known better 😅

The most specialest of special thanks to two of my loves @vonalyn and @lunarbuck for helping me flesh out this idea and enable me in my destruction ♥ i owe you both a beefy alpha soon

gif by @/paliaphrodite | additional graphics + dividers by me ♥

my ao3 | my masterlist | all tied up masterlist Read this fic HERE on ao3! ♥Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated as always♥

Last Tuesday.

Sweat drips down Steve’s neck as he finishes out his bench presses. Endorphins and dopamine ooze into his bloodstream as his face flushes, driving him to push one more time to beat his personal record. His heart races from excitement as his arms extend, biceps bulging under the 210-pound barbell, pushing it up for the final rep of his set. At last, he reracks the weights and a proud smile spreads easily across his lips.

Going from 175 lbs to 225 lbs in the span of only a month was the last thing Steve expected upon coming to Richards. He wasn’t scrawny by any means before– in fact, as his mother consistently had to remind him, puberty had been exceptionally kind to him, going from five-foot-eight to a cool six-foot-two in just the last two years of high school– but, thanks to the daily regimens Bucky and Sam personalized for each of the brothers, Steve began to see real gains. Real changes. For the better, even he would admit. His jaw became sharper. His chest grew broader. His arms were now just a tad too tight for his own t-shirts. 

“‘s all thanks to those prime Sigma genes!” Sam once told Steve while spotting him during one of the first sessions of the semester. Steve couldn’t tell if he was joking about their greek letters or not, so he shook the comment off and chalked it up to ‘Sam being Sam.’ Him and Bucky constantly preached the superiority of ‘Sigma Males,’ regardless if anyone was listening. 

Steve never believed in that bullshit. His Ma would keel over if he ever even thought  about that kind of concept. 

Steve sits up, grabbing his sweat rag and water bottle next to the bench. Taking a long drink, his mind flips through through the schedule for the day: Drawing, then Astronomy and Art History back to back; a mandatory check in with his advisor; lunch or dinner somewhere in between; finally, some sports event-party-thing that Bucky and Sam were adamant the entire house hosts. On a Tuesday. 

Steve huffs, rising from the bench and mopping the beads of hot sweat trailing down his temples. He needs to shower quickly in order to make it to class on time, especially if he wants to stop for coffee in the quad. 

Not that the coffee is worth the detour on the way to class, in all honesty, but the comforting sight of the usual barista behind the counter is. 

Since his first day on campus, something about her has drawn him to the cafe as often as possible. Eventually, they began small talk– well, she started the small talk. Gradually, they started chatting about more than just the weather. Then it became ‘what’d you get on the calc test?’ or ‘hey are you going to the football game?’. Her voice, her laugh, her quiet humming as she prepares orders regularly echoes in Steve’s mind. Her soft, kind eyes and warm smile is burned so deeply into his memory that he’s started drawing her. He doodles in the corner of his notes, sketches on napkins and newspapers, paints watercolor daydreams covering certain pages of his sketchbooks. All of them are her. 

He can’t recall for the life of him how it came to be this way. It all happened so suddenly, so gradually.

Over the last few weeks, Steve found himself walking just a touch faster, leaving just a couple minutes earlier, to make sure he can stop by and see her before class. To him, she’s a breath of fresh air, a break from the cloud of testosterone and stress the frat house always keeps him in.

No matter what, she always makes his day just a little bit brighter.

She knows his order before he even makes it to the counter. She knows which classes to ask him about and on what days. She knows writing his name with a smiley face on his cup will make him tip just a little extra, just because she drew it. 

She knows him.

Yet, he can’t exactly say the same about her.

Steve bites his lip, so incredibly caught up in thoughts of his coffee shop crush, he doesn’t realize where he’s walking until he runs smack into another body. Hard.

“Oof–Hey!” 

The girl in front of him falls to the floor, dropping her phone, rag, and water bottle. Her headphones slip off her head, landing amongst the scattered remains of what she’d been holding. 

“What the fuck–!”

“Oh, shit! I-I’m so sorry, lemme–” Steve bends down, offering her a free hand and genuine concern on his face. The girl’s eyes widen and she freezes when she looks up at him. The next thing Steve knows, she’s opening her mouth and getting ready to scream. Panic surges through him and he, too, becomes frozen in place, unsure of what else to do when there’s a soon-to-be-screaming girl in the middle of a crowded gym of frat bros.

Before her scream spills out of her throat, Steve hears a familiar voice behind him.

“Shay? What the hell happened?” Bucky appears, jogging from a machine around the corner. The moment he sees Steve bent over her– Shay, apparently– there’s a darkness that falls over his face as he approaches them. 

“He–he–!” Shay hiccups from the ground, bottom lip stuck out in a pout and trembling ever so slightly. Her jacket hangs off her shoulder, half-zipped and barely covering her tanned and toned stomach, and her neat, platinum blonde hair remains in tidy braids plaited down to her shoulders. It’s as if she merely tripped on a rogue water bottle or an untied shoelace. Steve’s throat tightens.  

“Bucky, I-I bumped into her, it was an accident, I was just helpin’ her up, I–”

Bucky stops. His shoulders are heaving, chest puffed out, and hands balled into tight fists at his sides. His dark expression makes him look terrifying. Steve’s never seen him like this before. 

Steve swears he hears Bucky growl. 

It takes a moment, but upon finally realizing it’s only Steve, Bucky backs down and calms almost instantly. His expression neutralizes into his usual suave smirk as he runs a hand through his cropped hair. 

“Shay,” Bucky turns his focus to the girl still splayed on the floor. There’s a commanding undertone in his voice, something more dominant, more forceful, than Steve’s ever heard.

“B-but h-he,” Shay babbles on, “he pushed me!” Her cheeks are dry, eyes white without bloodshot or fresh tears. Her lip stays pouting, mimicking a stubborn toddler as she blubbers to Bucky. 

“No, he didn’t. He didn’t do anything other than bump into you.” Bucky takes a step forward. “Right, Stevie?” His hand clamps onto Steve’s shoulder. His grip digs deep, tighter than usual. Steve nods quickly.

“Y-yeah, I, uh, wasn’t lookin’ where I was goin’ and I-I just didn’t, uh, see her.” 

Bucky gives him a once over, his vice-like grip weighing on Steve like a two-ton barbell. He slowly nods to himself and takes his eyes off Steve, turning to Shay. Steve holds his gaze on Bucky, however, studying him for a second more. He notices the extremely subtle way Bucky is almost looking down on her. Something about Bucky’s eyes, the shift in his jaw, sends a phantom chill up Steve’s spine.

“C’mon, Shay. Get up.”

“But! But, Bucky! He–!”

“You heard me. Get. Up.”

Shay sucks her lip back in and reluctantly obeys as she collects her things and stands. Even with his eyes closed, Steve realizes he wouldn’t have been able to notice Shay’s petite, five-foot-something frame standing in front of him. She barely came up to the middle of his chest. How had he not seen her in his way? 

“Now,” Bucky continues, “apologize to Steve.” 

Shay scoffs, breaking her show of obedience. She gives Steve a not-so-subtle once-over. Her nose ring wrinkles in the crevice of her nostril as her lips curl into a snarl. She crosses her arms, cocking a hip and copping an attitude.

“Why should I–”

Bucky abruptly lets go of Steve’s shoulder and moves swiftly to stand directly behind Shay. His large hands snake around her waist and Steve can tell he squeezes her, hard, by the sudden, sharp inhale she takes. Her smug, bratty expression disappears immediately as Bucky leans down to the cusp of her ear, lips brushing against the silver rings and studs of piercings littering her cartilage.

“Steve is a brother, Shay. Now, apologize so we can let him leave and we can start your workout.” Bucky’s hands dig tighter into her waist. Steve’s stomach churns. 

“I,” Shay sucks in another sharp breath and plasters on a forced smile. “I’m sorry, Steve.” 

Bucky releases Shay and steps in front of her. Her hands fold around her stomach to cover the fingerprint marks bruising the sides of her stomach, gaze turning down to the floor at Bucky’s feet. Steve can see over Bucky’s shoulder that her lip is trembling. Genuinely, this time.

“Hey.”

Bucky’s tone snaps Steve’s focus back to him. Steve feels like a deer caught in front of a stopped car as Bucky studies him. The corners of his tight smile twitch into a smirk.

“I’ll see ya tonight, right, Stevie? Don’t forget, it’s baseball night.”

“Erm, yeah. Right. I’ll be there, Buck.”

Bucky winks at him, confirming some undisclosed agreement between them. Steve’s stomach backflips again.

Steve turns to finally leave, quickly making his way to the locker rooms, desperately wanting to shower off the uncomfortable ick clinging to him after whatever the hell that interaction was.

◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ ◌ 

The door to the café chimes as Steve swings it open. The short line of customers turn to face him along with the barista at the counter. Steve stops mid-stride, panting from his sprint over from the gym. Sure, he’s got class in ten minutes, and it’s a fifteen minute walk to the art school, but he’s convinced himself he needs coffee and his daily dose of sunshine before continuing on with his day– especially after the whole ordeal in the gym earlier. 

The barista grins at Steve. She mouths a ‘hi’ as she scribbles down the name for the current customer’s cup. Steve sighs, waving back and taking his place in line.

Admittedly, he was more worried than he thought about catching his favorite barista today. He chalks the anxiety up to the weird encounter with Bucky and Shay– the whole thing felt so wrong, so off. Everything about the way Bucky treated her, talked to her, how she acted before versus after Bucky got behind her– it rubbed Steve wrong in so many ways. He’s never seen or heard Bucky talk like that to anyone before. Not to Sam, not to Tony, or Clint, or even any of the random girls that show face at parties. He doesn’t know if he’s ever seen Shay around before, either. Something about the way she stood after, the stark contrast in her behavior, the way she tried to blame Steve for something he didn’t do. 

“Can I help ya, stranger?” 

The familiar voice brings Steve back from his clouded thoughts. She smiles warmly at him and he melts on the spot. 

“I, uh–”

She giggles. 

“I know your order already, silly. Is there anything else you’d like today?”

“N-no, uh, I’m good,” he stammers, sliding his card into the chip reader. “I just, uh–”

She cocks a brow, looking up at him from writing his name on the cup. Steve clears his throat, unsure why he’s suddenly stuttering at someone he sees everyday.

“Just, ah, needed to see you, honestly.”

He feels his cheeks automatically burn as he fumbles to put his card back in his wallet. He pulls out a couple ones and drops them in the tip jar for extra brownie points. 

The barista’s eyes sparkle, holding her gaze on Steve. It’s a nice change, to see warmth instead of ulterior motives behind someone else’s gaze. He can tell she’s biting back a smile of her own as she finishes writing on his cup. 

“Well, the feeling is mutual,” she says. “I honestly was beginning to think you weren’t comin’ in today.”

A fake pout crosses her lips before returning to a soft smile. She moves to the espresso machine and begins to make him a double shot. Steve scoffs a laugh, cheeks still burning. He shoves his hands in his pockets. 

His heart skips, flips, in his chest.

“Ha, I, uh, got caught up at the gym.”

“Ah, so you’re one of those meathead gym bros, huh?”

Steve places a hand over his heart, jokingly wounded.

“Ouch! Wow, you’re really hittin’ where it hurts this mornin’, huh?”

She giggles, prepping the milk for his drink. “I kid, I kid. I respect the grind! Especially when steroids are in such high demand these days.” She flashes him a knowing smirk as she continues to move about the coffee bar. 

Steve grins, shaking his head. He can’t believe her. He can’t get enough of her– her laugh, her voice, the way she looks at him. He stares at her for a moment, admiring the focus in her eyes as she meticulously finishes his drink, the curve of her lips when she’s satisfied with her work. 

Steve is still staring when she appears at the counter to give him his drink. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

Steve flushes again and presses his lips together, muttering an embarrassed apologizing. Before she turns to go, before he’s forced to continue on with his day until he sees her again tomorrow, a thought pops into the forefront of his mind. Before he knows it, his voice is working faster than his brain can. 

“Hey, my-my frat is throwing a party this weekend at, uh, our house,” he starts, mouth instantly going dry. “Would, um, you like to maybe come?” 

She stops. Her brow arches, mouth opening and closing without a word. She looks at Steve, really looks at him, studying him as an answer brews on her tongue. 

Steve panics. “I-if not that’s totally fine, I, um, I just thought that–”

“Yes.”

Steve’s train of thought instantaneously derails.

“You–you… yes?” He repeats. She scoffs a laugh and nods. 

“No promises, but yes. I’ll try to be there.”

Steve’s face hurts from smiling. 

“Awesome! Great! I, uh, yes!” Steve confirms again. 

Before he can say ‘yes’ for the tenth time, she pulls a marker out of her apron pocket and grabs his cup again, scribbling something on the backside. As she turns back to the coffee bar, Steve picks up his cup and turns it over. His eyes land on a smudged phone number followed by a tiny, smudged heart. He looks up, finding her gaze again, and melts as she bites her lip.

“Text me, meathead.”

Steve beams. Any and all words he’s ever known disappear from his mind. 

“I can do that.”

As Steve leaves the cafe, he doesn’t care about being late to class as he enters her number into his phone. He doesn’t care about what the brothers will say come Friday when he introduces the first girl– the first person– he’s ever brought to a party. 

He sips his drink, smiling to himself, knowing it’s the best damn cup of coffee he’s ever had. 

[seventeenlovesthree]

Digi Dynamic Shipping Game

Send me two names among the following 12 and I’ll write a short analysis post about them:

Taichi Yagami | Yamato Ishida | Sora Takenouchi | Koushirou Izumi | Mimi Tachikawa | Jyou Kidou | Takeru Takaishi | Hikari Yagami | Daisuke Motomiya | Miyako Inoue | Iori Hida | Ken Ichijouji

Whether canon provides input on them or not.

Boy, do I love to refer back to "Butterfly" and how it basically framed Taichi as the male main character and Sora as the female main character throughout. One might argue that this is a combination that has been occurring in quite a lot of anime - particularly kids and Shounen related - back in the 90s and early 2000s, so... Asking whether or not canon provides input on them is like asking if water is wet. They've known each other since elementary school, have been in the same class ever since (and will continue to be classmates until graduation) and even attended the same football club for a while. They start the series as "almost telepathically connected" football club duo (basically a novel quote right here), adventurous and hands-on plot drivers, the courageous leader and the tomboyish but caring voice of reason right by his side. You instantly get the impression that they are familiar and close with each other and it's a theme that continues throughout the entire first season; not only because they consistently jump into action and call out, care for and protect each other, but because they, their bond, their loyalty and development are basically responsible for the fact that the kids get through everything alive in the end.

Trying to describe the extent and depth of their relationship would probably end with me writing a whole novel, so I will try to keep this brief, because... You know them. Similarly to Taito, Koumi and Takari, Taiora has been a staple in the shipping scene ever since the conception of Digimon Adventure back in 1999 - and for good reason. As mentioned, there used to be - and still is - a trope to pair up the main boy and main girl with one another and this case is no exception, considering how well they play off of each other, supporting and saving each other time and time again. Digimon Adventure is a special series though - a series whose creators intended to break through tropes and stereotypes, turning those on the head whenever possible. So while Taichi's and Sora's bond may be so significant that the idea of them ending up together seems inherently plausible - this is not how their story ends.

The tomboy, who struggles with her sense of femininity and identity, cannot deal with her best friend gifting her a hairclip - and while they seem thoroughly devoted to and on each other's minds, they develop in different directions. There is a theme of miscommunication between them as they grow older, little quarrels here and there - but at the same time, there is still an incredible sense of mutual fondness and protectiveness that, despite a growing physical distance, never completely vanishes. "If you love someone, let them go", is a quote that may come to mind when you take a look at the screenshot above and are aware of its context. Whether that kind of love was romantic or platonic at this point? We may never know.

This is the story of two close long-term friends, who were not meant to be together - wrong time, wrong place.

... Which doesn't mean that there isn't a potential "right time", right...?

Whether I think why and how they’d work.

What I mentioned above seems to be somewhat cryptic and what I'm about to outline may or may not break canon to a certain degree, but HEAR ME OUT.

While this headcanon is, for now, nothing more than a headcanon, but I am a big supporter of @dutchforstrangers' interpretation of the epilogue, leading to the idea that Yamato and Sora might not remain together/married. This post is not meant to be Sorato slander in any way and I will not go into detail here as to why I think this is a valid headcanon - just know that there are a few subtext aspects in regards to their behavioural patterns and body languages that leave room for speculation. And that's all there is to it: SPECULATION!

The point I am trying to make here is, once again, that Taichi and Sora may not have been ready to be in a relationship early in life - because they first had to come to terms with themselves, their real dreams, aspirations and needs. They had to become comfortable with themselves (particularly after the loss of their Digimon partners) to bridge the (physical and emotional) distance that had festered between them through the years. Because if you think about it, due to their underlying insecurities, they both chose the same approach in their early twenties: Isolating themselves from the rest of their friend group. And I feel like they both have to come to the conclusion first that this is a state that could never bring them long-lasting happiness. They're both social beings that shrivel when they're left alone for too long. (They may also need the encouragement of their friends - particularly Mimi, Koushirou and Hikari - to get there though.)

So it may take a while, weeks, months, maybe even years, to reconcile, step by step. Rekindling their bond, making up their minds about their true passions and career paths, rediscovering old and finding new hobbies and similarities along the way; whether it's about their shared love for their friends, football, adventurous and sporty activities, probably therapy???, whatever it may be... Until they'd reunite with their partners and, with a gleeful but weary smile on their faces, realize that they just had to grow up to this point to eventually find each other as well.

Whether I’d prefer them as platonic or romantic ship.

In case the way I've been talking about them hasn't made it obvious yet - I do love Taiora a lot. While I hadn't started actively shipping Digimon characters until I started watching Tamers, I always had an incredible soft spot for them and up to this day, Taichi and Sora are my second favourite choice for each other. You could say that, in every possible universe in which Taich doesn't end up with Koushirou, he WOULD end up with Sora if I had anything to say. It's also no secret that Taikoura is my absolute favourite OT3 and I really think they COULD work out beautifully together. In the end, both romantic and platonic Taiora is absolutely beautiful to me - especially because it brought some very special, wonderful people into my life. Long story short: As long as their closeness persists in any way, shape or form, I'll be happy.

I also still maintain that the reboot timeline could potentially go there, but I will not get my hopes up... Yet.

[kimmiessimmies]

What Went Before: The Gang

This story of mine has been going on for years, mostly over on my WordPress blog. Since I have gained quite a few new followers recently, I understand not everyone is up to date with everything that went before, and sometimes it can be worth knowing a few things. So, every so often, I shall do summary posts on what went before. In this case, on the history and relationships of my deeply loved friend group, sometimes referred to as "The Gang": James, Seth, Daniel, Jill and Sarah. Beware, though, I may say "summary", but this one will probably be quite long. Are you sitting down? Do you have a spare half hour? Here we go!

"The Gang" started with James, Sarah and Dan(iel). They have known each other their whole lives, with James and Sarah being twin siblings and Dan being their cousin.

Seth and Jill joined them when they started school. As is frequently the case with young kids; it was often the boys together and the girls together at first.

But as they grew older, more and more often, the five of them played and hung out together.

The boys formed a band, which they called The Hot Wings as a joke, and making music together only strengthened their bond.

Sarah and Jill were their biggest fans and Dan's parents turned their garage into a rehearsal space for the band.

Jill's crush on James kicked in the moment the hormones did. At that point he was oblivious to it, but as puberty progressed, James started to notice the way Jill was looking at him. While he didn't hold the same feelings for her as she did for him, he did like her and was curious, so when Jill finally mustered up the courage to ask James if maybe they could hang out together sometime, he accepted.

They shared their first kiss and went from there. When they started sleeping together it was huge for Jill. It was huge for James too, but for different reasons which will be divulged by himself later in the story. Jill couldn't wait to tell bestie Sarah all about it. The only problem is... as stated above, Sarah is James' sister. And while she didn't directly say anything to James about it, she couldn't help but give him telling looks or sometimes make suggestive remarks.

So, James got fed up and ended up confronting Jill during a prom night.

This was actually one of the first "story" posts I ever made. It's... well, let's say, if you go back to this one, you can clearly see my growth...

Breaking up at prom is not a very decent thing to do, to say the least. But teenage boys are not usually known for their decency, and James was no exception.

So, that was that, James and Jill were broken up.

After the first heated emotions of the prom night had died down, Jill and James agreed to stay friends. They were both too attached to "The Gang" and felt they could make it work. And honestly, they seemed to be doing okay.

When Jill and Dan threw a party at the teen club because they both turned 18, The Hot Wings played their music, and from the way Jill was looking at James on stage that night, it was clear she was, in fact, not over him at all...

Time went on and the dynamics within The Gang were always shifting. Seth and Sarah fell in love...

...And Seth made their relationship official when he asked her to be his girlfriend on New Year's Eve of 03.

Seth and Sarah were solid from the get-go.

Things were a little more complicated where James and Jill were concerned... After a school Christmas party, they had a so-called "bonus night"...

Even though James was honest about his intentions upfront, this night had reignited a spark of hope in Jill's heart.

Six months later they sat for their final exams and were the first group of teens to initiate the fire walking ritual which Rachel, Finn and Sadie adopted 2 years later upon their high school graduation.

Jill held on to her little bit of hope until The Gang was about to start university and Sarah and Seth got word of this bonus night, which had remained their little secret up until then. It became evident right there, and then that Jill was hoping something could still be, while James had clearly moved on.

They had a good talk after which it appeared the message was clear, even to Jill: they would never be a couple ever again.

And then it was uni time. I truly had a bit of a proud parent moment when I saw the five of them with all their stuff on the lawn of their student residence.

We had come a long way and the friendship was still strong as ever. Little did we know then how much the strength of this friendship would be tested during the uni years.

Because of course life didn't stop there. Jill truly appeared to be over James when she got together with housemate Narai.

And there was a slightly awkward corridor run-in with James when she left Narai's room one morning, thinking she could cross over to her own room quickly.

All in all, things seemed to be going well for the gang. Jill appeared to be over James and order was restored.

Maybe now is a good time to bring Dan in, because not much has been said about him yet. That's mainly because Dan is maybe the most steady friend within the group. He likes to keep the peace and is usually the mediator when things get a bit more heated. Dan was the only one to find romance outside of the friend group (Sadie!)

Dan and Jill have a special friendship within The Gang. Being born only a few days apart, they started school at the same time and always celebrated their birthday parties together.

In May of 06, Eva, James and Sarah's older sister, married Jasper, Jill's cousin, in Monte Vista. All these family connections meant the entire gang got to go on a trip together!

Both Jill and Dan weren't in the happiest of moods though. Dan was upset because he and Sadie had just broken up and Jill was doubting her relationship with Narai.

Together they decided that getting drunk at the wedding was the best solution.

Which led to Jill drunkenly telling James she was definitely over him...

...and a drunken kiss with Dan...

They both immediately realised this was definitely a big mistake, had a good talk about their friendship and knew they'd never go there again. Jill also realised that her relationship with Narai wasn't going anywhere either though and broke up with him when they got back home.

And that brings us close to the present. In which Sadie started university and stirred up a lot of emotions throughout The Gang, as we have seen. And which showed Jill is actually NOT over James yet... Time will tell how this all unfolds...

If you are curious how Miss Sadie connects into all this, I actually did a "What Went Before" on her a few months back. You can read it here. I should add though that I wrote this right before she started university, so also before she locked eyes with James again and f-ed up my entire storyline. xD

[saintsenara]

Hi! I just wanted to ask: what advice would you give someone who wants to start writing fanfiction for the 1st time, without any real writing experience? Have a nice day!

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i'm always honoured to be identified as someone who might have something meaningful to say about writing - and so i always worry about doing justice to questions like this without coming across as being flippant.

because i don't think its ever worth giving advice on writing style or techniques, because these are so inherently subjective. i am an unabashed plantser - i have a vague idea of how i expect a story to go [and i always skip to the ending first, harry burns style], but i let the muses take me where they will otherwise - and this obviously affects everything else about my writing process: whether i like to stick to a specific posting schedule [no]; where i begin in a scene [dialogue]; whether i prefer short or long pieces [yes]; what sort of themes i want to look at; my attitude towards the source material [i believe in the value of canon coherence, but i'm not drawn towards trying to make my work unclockably canon-compliant]; what i find useful to receive from others during the writing process; and the fact that i like to play with genres, themes, and pairings.

if these things don't apply to you - and there's no reason why they should, even after you've been writing fic for a century - then i don't think i'm qualified to give you any advice on how you should go about putting words on a page.

but i do think i can give you something.

because if you want to start writing fanfiction - as is the case for everything else you will want to start doing in your life - there is only one key principle to bear in mind:

fortune favours the bold

by which i mean, at the most basic level, that the only way to start writing fanfiction is to... start writing fanfiction. the only way that you'll ever know if it's something you enjoy doing - and what it is about it that you like, what you find instinctive, what you don't, what your "voice" is, which characters you find harder than others to bring to life, what techniques you'll use to plan, how your work will be received, how that will make you feel, how your style will change the longer you write, and so on - is to grit your teeth and just take the leap.

but i also think that remembering that fortune favours the bold is a fandom principle which serves us all very well in a context broader than just tapping out fics while hunched over our keyboards.

because boldness is synonymous with courage - and writing something and putting it out into the world does take courage! - but it's a courage which has quite a distinctive style.

boldness is not solemn, quietly-enduring, captain-going-down-with-his-ship bravery. to be bold is to be audacious, daring, cheeky, innovative, and a little bit irreverent. it's not someone saying mournfully over your coffin "she fought bravely to the bitter end" - it's someone looking at you in awe and saying "how the fuck did you pull that off?"

and this matters in fandom. because participating in fandom - whether you end up writing fic or not - takes a hell of a lot of brass neck.

after all, each of us has ended up here because we looked at canon and said "sorry - did you think you were done?"

and then - when canon got flustered and started stammering - each of us has rolled our eyes, rolled up our sleeves, and said "don't worry, hen. you can leave it to me."

to be in fandom is to have the audacity to treat the text as a springboard - rather than something which remains behind glass in a museum. it's deciding to fling the characters we love into genres they don't originally come from and revelling in the chaos which ensues. it's finding missing moments and daring them to be just as important as a canon scene. it's the fun of wildly improbable alternate universes - from dystopian horror to coffee shops. it's cheerfully ignoring that there's a point canon thinks its story ends - whether that's finishing narratives which end unsatisfactorily or just playing with happy-ever-after. it's taking two characters who never interact in canon, winking at the camera, and making them kiss. it's taking two characters who never interact in canon, winking at the camera, and making them fuck. it's having the time of your life becoming a malevolent deity and making a character suffer.

while it might not always feel this way, at its core fandom is fun. and it's fun in a way which is quite unusual in this day-and-age - in that it's something we get to shape for ourselves, rather than having to engage with a product according to the whims of the corporation marketing it. it lets us be indulgent without calling us greedy. it lets us chatter away at each other without calling us unproductive. it lets us be sincere without requiring performative earnestness from us. it lets us engage with the uncomfortable and the lurid without the bland sanitisation of respectability.

and it allows us to be hopeful.

and i have always been struck by just how much about fandom rests on hope.

to believe that the dead can live happily in another universe, to believe that time-travel can fix things, to believe that bad people can get their comeuppance, to believe that good people can be imperfect and it doesn't matter one bit, to believe that those who are hurt can be comforted, to believe that justice can be done, to believe that villains can be redeemed, to believe that an insignificant background character matters just as much as the hero, to believe that things can be better - whether your story is overthrowing a corrupt government or letting two people enjoy themselves uncovering a kink, to believe that the most improbable people can love each other - romantically or not... all of this takes hope.

and hope takes boldness.

so be bold and start writing.

be cheeky. take risks. be your own biggest fan. be irreverent. be cunning. recognise that not taking fandom too seriously is self-protective. be self-indulgent. have some self-awareness. be collegiate. gas up your friends whenever you can. be nice to your commenters and try and give them the benefit of the doubt if they express themselves poorly. be curious. regard disagreement as interesting. be compassionate. be tenacious. be prepared to write stuff that flops. be prepared to write stuff that gets left on the drawing-board. be prepared to write stuff people hate. be prepared to write stuff you hate. be audacious. believe you can do it. be hopeful. be daring. be brave. and be bold.

because i promise you that, even if you've never written a word of fic before, you can write your way into and out of anything - any fic, any trope, any pairing, any characterisation choice, any plot hole, any setting, any premise - and have fun and look good doing it.

if you simply have enough nerve.

[redfish-blu]

An Open Letter to the Danger Days Tumblr Community:

Now that you’ve read that overdramatic title and are wondering who fucked up, I have something to say about the Danger Days Tumblr community: I Love You.

Danger Days was the first fandom I ever posted for on any site. All the way back in middle school (ho-ly shit). And let me tell you what I found out even way back when: this is not an easy fandom to be in.

For one, most people don’t even know it exists. For two, even less know it in the way it’s been cultivated on Tumblr. Almost every single person has such a niche interpretation of every little detail, that it’s impossible to draw a line through any two versions of the story. Which is a fact I personally love, but I also think it scares a lot of people away. You have to work to be in this fandom. Both as a passive and active fan. It requires patience and tolerance for disappointment.

But that’s exactly why I want to encourage everyone who creates and everyone who listens to Keep Doing That. Like I cannot stress this enough, that is what keeps this fandom and IP alive. Danger Days as a universe would be absolutely nothing without fan work (re: the California Comics), especially a decade later. Without fans who care about this story way more than it has warranted us to care, it would be six feet under. And sometimes I really think that’s what it deserves (and maybe the writers think that as well), but for the life of me I just can’t let that happen. I’ve tried to let this fucking thing go, believe me.

And funny enough, that exact feeling is evidenced by the community on this site too. Which has changed faces almost completely from what it was three years ago for better and less better in some cases. And it’s something I still struggle with adjusting to, but I look at the tag daily. I look everyone’s posts and blogs and art and effort. If you have posted even once in the dd tag my eyes have 100% seen it. So even if I still feel a little out of place, like a ghost of fandom’s past, at least I know everybody. And I know people feel the same way: No rest for the wicked.

When I reanimated from my fandom coma I was fully expecting to find that the community had gone extinct. Partially because all the blogs I used to frequent had straight up died in the three years I was gone. But I pulled up to the gates of the Danger Days tag like Rick Grimes outside of Alexandria, fully expecting to be devastated, only to find New People tilling the fucking field. And it didn’t matter that I now had no idea who any of you people were, it was The Most welcoming thing ever.

I’ll be the first to tell you this fandom bares almost no resemblance to the one I left, and I’m not going to lie and say it’s better now, but the foundation didn’t get blown away in the storm. That’s what I find uniquely profound. That everyone here still wants to try. And that makes me really want to try. And I’m sure everyone would agree that there is often little reward for the effort; but that’s precisely my point in saying all this shit. That even despite the not fun aspects, we all still clock in; and there’s a new post, headcanon, drawing, or fic every freaking day. It’s commendable, really.

If you’re lurking, or post sometimes but feel afraid to actually take a leap here because (the fandom is comparatively tiny to the greater MCR fandom) you’ll be way more out there, and the already established figureheads of the fandom will definitely see your stuff: post post post. This is my formal endorsement to Just Post That Shit. And Interact With That Shit. I spent a year gathering the courage to publish the tiniest thing while behind the scenes I literally wrote about 60+ works. You have to respect your own creativity and trust that other people will give it the time of day.

So do not feel crazy or discouraged about your ideas here! Like we literally need them to function, I would not be here if it wasn’t for all the people three years ago who just posted all their thoughts about Danger Days. About everything. Obscure or not. It’s truly a gift that this fandom has attracted people who are willing to work their brains because the original creators let it fall flat. I cannot tell you how much being in this fandom has actually helped me out in my writing and analysis skills.

So yeah. I fucking love this fandom, I love being in it and I love seeing that people are still stoking the flames. I wanted to say all this crap because I knew I’d be able to articulate it for the people who can relate but don’t want to be the first to say it. Which is okay, understandable. As I said earlier this fandom is like yelling your thoughts out into a very echoey room that only has a few people in it. So I’ll shout first and maybe it’ll make other people more comfortable to shout back.

[frodothefair]

Frodo and Rosie?

So, someone on Ao3 brought up the notion that I could've written Flowers of Mordor also as an OT3, perhaps involving Rosie instead of Marigold. Of course, it wasn't a suggestion or concrit, just an observation, and I said that the way I imagined Rosie, I could not see her with Frodo in any romantic or sexual way -- they are simply not right for each other.

But then, ever since I have been thinking... why not Rosie and Frodo? Granted, this would be a case of heartbreak rather than an OT3, because poly in any capacity is not my cup of tea, but hear me out...

To begin with, here's my view of Rosie, based on what little we know of her in canon:

She's assertive, direct, and has a sharp wit. She basically got Sam to marry her by giving him a tongue-in-cheek ultimatum.

She is feisty and brave, even contrary. When her mother warned her there are "ruffians about," she still broke into song.

She probably brims with endless energy. Having thirteen children, you pretty much have to be that sort of person.

She has several brothers, and no sisters. Every woman I know who has grown up in this environment is not necessarily more masculine, but more self-assured and independent.

She has no known (direct) trauma from the Scouring -- that is, she wasn't in the Lockholes, wasn't kidnapped or violated. If she had trauma like that, Tolkien probably would have mentioned it. Though that's not to say that she was not deeply affected.

In fact, as a result of all of the above, in FoM I've conceptualized Rosie as a bit of a firecracker. She is a natural leader, loves to be the center of attention, and is fiercely protective of her friends. She knows what she wants, and she often gets it. We first "meet" her standing in the middle of the kitchen, telling a "hilarious" story and waving a ladle around as a prop. Sam may even be a little bit afraid of her, and swears that she can read his mind. She is also a little bit manipulative with Marigold, but not in a bad way -- she simply knows which emotional strings to pull. In good time, she will have her own emotional reckoning and her own vulnerable moments, but I won't spoil those yet.

Now, a person like Rosie is perfect as a wife of a pillar of the community, which is what Sam eventually becomes, but can a person like Rosie be with Frodo? Maybe, especially pre-quest Frodo who is more active, but pre-quest Rosie, who is a farmer's daughter, would not have been remotely in the running as a match for Frodo until the War of the Ring (much like WWI) erased many a social boundary.

But more than that, I ultimately felt that Frodo is too head-in-the-clouds, too nerdy and too weird for Rosie. Unlike Marigold, Rosie probably has little interest in books or faraway places. She is more prosaic and maybe altogether "too much" with her love of the spotlight, whereas Frodo, especially post-quest, needs plenty of time to rest to think and feel things that others have no idea about. Marigold, being more introverted and a deep thinker, and also traumatized in her own way, is the delicate flower whose company he needs.

Anyway. Let's say all of the above is true.

And yet, just because two people don't seem to "work" on paper doesn't mean that they can't fall in love, against all odds and logic.

So hear me out...

What if... what IF Rosie marries Sam, and then they move into Bag End, and slowly, ever so slowly as she takes care of Frodo, and listens to his tale, she gains an understanding and a compassion for him that she never thought possible? What if his trauma and courage win her fiery heart, and pity turns to devotion, and then to more, and then Rosie realizes one day, with horror, that she married the wrong hobbit?

And then there's more... Perhaps... Perhaps Frodo could easily feel the same, and succumb to the Florence Nightingale effect, but on account of his illness, he would feel unable to be a partner to anyone, and would be forced to reject her. And then Sam, upon guessing, or perhaps finding out for a fact, would volunteer to step aside, and Frodo would refuse to accept it.

And then what if... what if THIS is the real reason Frodo leaves for Valinor?!

Wouldn't that be trippy??????!!

@konartiste @emmanuellececchi

[fiction-box]

Hello there ^^

Are your requests still open ? If yes I’d like to request a character x reader scenario or headcanons (which ever is better for you) for Dimitri and Claude (separately pls) with a female or gender neutral reader (not Byleth) who is asexual ?(When someone identifies as asexual that means that they don’t feel any sexual attraction towards any gender)

Scenario for orientation/inspiration : They just confessed to each other, but the reader wants them to know that they’re asexual before they get official, since it can be a potential dealbreaker. So the reader tells them that they don’t plan on ever having s”x with them, will also not do any compromises (not even for children/heirs) and tells them that they should search for another partner if they’re not happy/accept it, since the reader will not step over their boundaries for a partner or their partners pleasure.

If you don’t want to write both, then please just for Claude. I hope you are well and have a great day/night ^^

Happy Thursday, my lovely! I finally got some free time to put my writing into an online sheet, so you can imagine this work has been crafted over the course of several weeks. I'm going to attempt to post much more often (as I have wanted to for so long now), but life happens and I tend to be busy.

In any case, I hope you enjoy this work despite my tardiness. Have a wonderful weekend.

To everyone, please feel free to fill my inbox! My rules are pinned to the top of my blog, so request as much as you'd like after reading those!

The story will be continued under the cut.

“What are you doing out here so late?”

You whipped your head around in shock, getting a good look at the man that had snuck up on you.

“Goodness, Dimitri,” you sighed, placing a hand over your chest in an attempt to quell your racing heartbeat, “a little more warning next time? You almost scared me right off the bridge!”

The moon shone high in the sky, illuminating the bridge to Garreg Mach’s cathedral in a faint, white glow. You found yourself stopped at the center of it, taking in the way the trees created long shadows in the night.

But now your eyes were trained on the new King of Fodlan. His appearance here, in the middle of the night, ran almost too coincidental with where your thoughts had been headed.

“Ah, my apologies,” he returned with a chuckle, “You never did answer my question, though.”

At this, you ducked your head, “I…just…”

How were you meant to communicate the reason without scaring him off? You were hopeful, yet fear engulfed you. That was why you were here tonight. You wanted to sort out your feelings…about him.

“Was that…too intrusive? I do not mean to bother you.”

You wished you could find the courage to speak, or even just to look at him.

“Perhaps I ought to leave you here, for tonight. Know that I am here to talk if you wish.”

Hearing him shift to move finally prompted you to return his gaze, “No, that’s not what I want. It’s just…hard for me to find the words. The easiest way to put it would be to say that my thoughts were keeping me from sleep. I figured a walk might help me work through some things, but I’ve had no such luck, so far.”

“I see,” he nodded once, stepping forward to your side, staring out at the view that had held your attention for so long tonight. “I could say I came out here for a similar reason, myself.”

You kept your eyes on him, “If you wouldn’t mind sharing, may I ask what it is that has kept you up so late?”

He turned to you slowly, his face turning darker, “I suppose you will find out, eventually. I might as well tell you now.”

“Oh, well, if I’m going to find out anyway, there’s no reason for you to say it.” 

Perhaps it was some plan or strategy for the Kingdom to rebuild, you reasoned.

“You can deliver the news to me alongside everyone else.”

Dimitri gave a light chuckle, “No, I’m afraid that wouldn’t be proper.”

Propriety? You wondered. There must be another matter on his mind, then.

Lightly, the blond reached out for your left hand, placing it in his own and bringing it to his lips. The action made your eyes widen and your heart skip a beat.

“Dimitri…”

“I believe I have fallen in love with you.”

Involuntarily, you took a step back.

You weren’t ready for this conversation, yet. That was part of the real reason you came out here. Yes, you were in love with Dimitri, but things weren’t that simple. You loved yourself, too, and you would never betray yourself. Not even for the love of another.

In truth, it was your love for him that made you hesitate. You weren’t interested in…copulation…but for stability reasons, Fodlan’s throne would need an heir. Seeing how the Kingdom had taken over Fodlan, it would be safest to keep the rule within the current royal bloodline. Namely, Dimitri’s.

That wasn’t even considering his crest. The crest of Blaiddyd had been a symbol of great power for generations. How selfish would it be for you to cause its end all because you weren’t interested in sex?

So, though you loved Dimitri, you weren’t planning on ever making your feelings known to him. The world would be better off with the two of you apart.

And yet you had found yourself coming here for a walk, anyway. You had questioned whether or not to ruin everything if only to save your bleeding heart.

And somehow, you wound up in this position; Dimitri coming to you with his heart in his hands while all you could do was step back.

Selfish and selfless. A fool all the same.

“...I see…” the royal waivered, lowering your hand, “Forgive me, I believe I have read all this terribly wrong.”

Say something, you idiot! Don’t let it end like this!

“I can’t.”

He stopped himself just before releasing your hand.

“...what?”

“I want to say it back. Truly, I do,” you began to explain softly, “but, thinking of the future, I know that I could never.”

“Why not?” he questioned, stepping in towards you, “Is there something wrong with me? Are you unable to forgive the sins of my past?”

He looked down to the side, “If that is the case, I do not blame you.”

“No, that isn’t what I meant at all!”

“You are a noble, so that cannot be what you are worried about. You are kind, beautiful, compassionate, patient…no doubt the people would love you.”

“Please, stop,” you begged under your breath, shutting your eyes.

Dimitri lifted your hand once more, grasping it in both of his own, this time, “You would make a wonderful mother. I have always dreamt of having a large fami-”

“That!” you almost sobbed, pulling your hand out of his. Even just hearing him say such things made your head spin and your stomach swirl, “That is the reason I cannot…we cannot…”

“You…do not wish to have a family?”

Why is this so hard? I wish it didn’t have to be this hard.

“I don’t want to…to have sex.”

“But…”

“Please, don’t try to change my mind,” your eyes met his, “If I thought I could manage it, even just for an heir, I would have done so in a heartbeat for you. But I have thought about it, and I have tried to change my mind.”

Your arms wrapped around yourself. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, and your throat was beginning to tighten, “I love you, Dimitri. I love you so much that it hurts, but I just…I can’t do that. I could never betray myself.”

For a moment, there was nothing. You closed your eyes, and a droplet made its way from the corner of your eye down your cheek.

Suddenly, your tears were being wiped away. Dimitri had taken off his gloves and was cupping your face with his hands. His thumb swiped under your eyes, and the prince let his forehead rest against yours.

“That is all I would ask of you. Just knowing that you return my feelings is enough,” his eyes never left yours, “I love you. Not for what you can or cannot do, but because of who you are. We can work together to find the solution for that issue, but know that you are worth so much more than your desire to have children.”

He made you feel so foolish for even worrying. Of course you could work it out together. So long as you had one another, the rest could fall into place.

Separating his forehead from yours, Dimitri wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. Though his armor was cold and unforgiving, his hands were warm. Kind, just as you had known them to be.

No matter what would happen next, you would always have Dimitri. He was all you needed to trust that everything would turn out for the best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, this is where you ran off to?”

“Woah! Who-?” your heart practically leapt into your throat as you spun around, quickly backing into the railing.

Claude laughed, though his gaze darted between you and the railing for a moment.

“Hey, take it easy! I just didn’t think you were the type to come to the Goddess Tower when you’re worried, is all. Don’t, uh…don’t throw yourself over the railing about it.”

Your eyes widened further than they had already once you realized how dangerous that could have been.

“Oh my-!” swiftly, you put distance between yourself and the rail. “N-No! That wasn’t my intention at all!”

A bit of tension left the royal’s body, at that. The release was visible.

“Good.”

A sigh turned into a breathy laugh from Claude, “Seriously, don’t scare me like that. I don’t know what I would have done if that encounter went differently.”

Like this, you could see just how shaken your leader actually was. It seemed to have quite the impact on you, too.

“Well…don’t follow people into towers only to scare them at the top! You scared me!”

“Okay, okay! It’s my fault, I’m sorry. Can we just…move past this now?”

You nodded, and a beat of silence passed between the two of you.

“...how did you know I was worried?”

“Intuition,” the wyvern rider smirked. “Come on, you don’t really think I see you as the type to ditch an informal celebration, right? One in your honor, no less?”

“It’s for all the Golden Deer, not just me.”

“I’m not hearing any argument on that first part.”

You paused, clenching your teeth behind your closed lips the slightest amount and looking to the side.

“Yeah, not really helping your case, there. You know you can trust me with anything, don’t you?”

He looked so lucid, and yet…timid? Sheepish?

…Afraid…?

Well, so were you.

“It’s…my mother. I just needed to get away from everyone; I didn’t want to ruin the celebration by forcing everyone to put up with me when…my heart really isn’t in it.”

“Oh,” that strange emotion from before left his eyes. Almost like he was…disappointed? “Is she sick?”

“That’s not it,” you turned away from him a little, shifting in the same direction as your gaze. “She sent me a letter. Now that the war is over, she’s going to force me to get married.”

Claude’s expression grew pensive, “...To force you…Do you not want to get married at all?”

You looked at him, then, “No…yes?” you took a breath, trying to start over, “It’s, um…I…”

“Take your time. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

He says that, but he seems to be more interested in this topic than the last…

Glancing aside again, you took a breath and released it.

“I’m afraid. I’m completely fine with marriage, but I can’t…” another deep breath as you lowered your voice, “I refuse to have children. Even the thought of sex makes me sick. Of course, there’s the matter of promising to spend my life with a stranger or someone I don’t love…though I wouldn’t hesitate to do that if it meant…”

Your eyes found Claude’s, only to see his expression frozen in what you believed was shock.

“Ah,” you recoiled slightly, “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have unloaded all that on you!” You blushed more than you knew capable, ducking your head out of his sight and covering your face with your hands, for good measure, “Just…forget I even said anything!”

“No, you’re completely fine! I’m just surprised this is the first time I’ve heard about any of this!” he reassured you, “I was just thinking,”

Well, that could have gone worse, at least.

“Let me get this straight,” you calmed yourself down enough to look at your house leader, noticing that expression from before returning to his face. “You would rather marry a complete stranger than someone you loved, just so long as you knew you wouldn’t have to have sex with them?”

You nodded, afraid he was judging you.

Instead, Claude let out a breath of air through his nose, “In that case, I think I have a solution to both of those problems.”

He crossed the short distance between you, taking both your hands in his own and lifting them before you could process what was happening.

“Marry me.”

“-! Claude…” you breathed.

“I love you. I love you enough to respect your boundaries because what matters to me is that I get to spend my life at your side. The thought of you marrying some stranger just to be true to yourself…Even if you don’t love me-”

“I do!” you cried, beginning to tear up. “I do love you, Claude, this is just…I didn’t want to force any of this onto you. A lot of people see this sort of thing as a deal-breaker, and I…I couldn’t do that to you-!”

Claude let go of your hands, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him. He felt you shake as you took a breath, tears now flowing freely from your eyes.

“You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I love you, just like this.”

Your tears came even faster as you outright sobbed into his chest. Not even your own mother had said such words to you. At home, you were more of a nuisance than a noble; a pawn that was reluctant to be played.

Pulling away slightly, you wiped your eyes and looked into Claude’s green ones.

“I…I have to be sure. You’re really okay with spending your entire life with me without…a-and you won’t with anyone else, either? Is that really what you choose?”

The Almyran King chuckled, “Well, I can’t say it’s a path I anticipated for myself, but I can’t say I anticipated you having this preference, either.” He smiled at you, “It just goes to show I have so much more to look forward to learning about you, and I can’t imagine letting anyone else get ahead of me, there,” Claude winked.

You didn’t move, waiting.

“Just like I said, though, a large part of my happiness comes from being near you. There’s no way I’m giving any part of it up just so I can bed someone each night. You’re the one I fell in love with, not your body or what you could have offered in the bedroom.”

Finally, you sighed and felt something in your chest relax.

“Don’t get me wrong, though! I still expect you to have a pillow and a blanket waiting in there! This isn’t gonna work if I wake up with my back stiff each morning.”

Giggling, you stepped back into him, the two of you holding one another with silly grins on your faces.

The future looked brighter with someone who loved you at your side.

[sooshii]

Nice to meet you!

I'm new to blog posting and social media in general (I know - What kind of rock have you been living under, Sooshii???) During my research going down all sorts of rabbits holes on where to interact with other fic-writers, I came across tumblr. Now me being the shy sushi roll that I am, I internally screamed for a good few days, weeks, months before working up the courage to finally get this ball rolling.

In case you can't tell, I'm a shy bean. I'm also not a minor, but I won't divulge my age - please respect ♡ The internet is a scary place after all!

So with all that said, a bit about myself! :)

Pronouns:

she/her

Fandoms:

Currently writing: FFVII - multi relationship oc AU fandom Reading: Hazbin Hotel, MHA, DAI, FFXIV, Avatar, One Piece, HP, AOT, JJK, multiple Villainess ones to list, and a couple Trails ones. I'm always searching for new ones to obsess over hueeeee And I read too many pairings to list...

Interests/Hobbies:

Reading! I read too many books and fandoms to count. My current fixation is all things FFVII but other fandoms I enjoy are listed above - however the rest of the list is way too long to toss on here so take what is listed as a "this is only a few". And my ships! Oh my ships... Vary from all ranges of characters ahhh I'm such a simp especially for the bad guys huuuueeee :'D

Writing! I write too! I recently started rewriting my first AU fic from a few years back. I'm hoping as I get more confident in myself, I can even branch out to other stories. I'll probably start posting little updates here every now and then when chapters get posted ^_^ My AO3 if you wanted to check my stuff out :) There's too many pairings, lore, world building, angst, fluff, and character tormenting ideas I have floating around in my head to count <o> Yes, I love to make my characters suffer. I'm a bit of a sadist that way -cackles- :3

Drawing! I draw and sketch a lot too. Someday soon you'll see a few of my little doodles floating around... when I get the courage to post them for the world to see. Shy bean, remember? :p

Cats! I own the sweetest little voidbean ever. She is my pride and joy. I absolutely love and adore black cats! Other cats are adorable too, but black cats are the light in my deep, dark, evil little soul mwahaha -ahem- I mean they're super cute :)

Anyways, please drop by, say hell, shoot me a polite message to chat, request a silly doodle - whatever you'd like within reason!

It's amazing to meet you and I hope to see you around!

[somniumfae]

please talk me about gevie I wanna hear about your oc (thunder sfx) NOW

peepoShy... thank you... you are very sweet

i'm slowly working up the courage to post her main doc on here (i am not emotionally prepared yet, but perhaps eventually) but i can talk about some basic + structural stuff that i haven't really mentioned on here ever

i know that the reasons allogenes get their visions aren't necessarily related to what their element actually represents, but a lot of g!evie's writing is about her eternity

basically... to make a long and kinda edgy story short, she gets her vision after making a resolve to embrace what she perceives her eternity as (to be alone) by transforming herself into a 'character' of sorts, a gentle and powerful wanderer who longs not for the company of others

it's a bit more complicated though. she's wrong about her eternity (lol), though the actions she takes are indeed attempts to embrace her (real) eternity, which is eternity with oneself (similar to an eternity of loneliness, but focusing on what you're with instead of what you're without: friends and lands and homes may come and go, but you will always be you, and you will always have yourself)

that's her first arc. (it's kind of dank sorry). basically it's about her finding peace within herself. her second arc is about her relationship to the world around her. she grows more comfortable with herself (and a bit with the people around her) to the point that she starts to long for a feeling of belonging, particularly for the concept of having a 'home' (which, in her case, is versus mondstadt and inazuma). tldr she decides it's mondstadt. to put another long story short.

i'm not sure how all of this is communicated/developed in-game: since two versions of g!evie technically exist (the one that exists with the confines of genshin the game, and the one that exists within the confines of teyvat the universe [so, one where all of her major development has to be within the audience of the traveler, and one where she's less shackled by that])

my current idea is that her first story quest is, in part, a love letter to the recurring NPC mondstadt daily commissions and the cyclical nature of them: g!evie is a fellow "adventurer" of sorts like the traveler and does the same tasks as the traveler does. g!evie notices and is cognizant of the miscommunications that drive all of these quests (guy refuses to tell his father that he guards a gate and isn't going on grandiose adventures, glory's boyfriend that i forgot the name of doesn't want to tell her he got left behind in varka's expedition, whatever the hell is going on with beatrice and the fruit guy, etc) but she's loath to interfere with others because she fears judgement yadda yadda yadda. basically the quest would be about how she doesn't have to isolate herself and can be more than an annoyance to others if she just put herself out there more. ideally, this quest would affect a permanent change to some NPCs in mondstadt or a change in dailies (but it would have to be ones not linked to achievements obviously)

her second quest might be an event storyline instead of a SQ, but either way, she goes to inazuma to learn more about her eternity. i don't have as solid an idea for this one but the eventual conclusion she comes to is that inazuma is a beautiful place but it kind of encourages some of her worst tendencies [overthinking and contemplation to the point of isolation], and altogether she feels a lot more free in mondstadt, the city of misfits

[seeminglyranchmetaphor]

Phil as 1989 (Taylor's Version)

so this is my very long analisys and comparison, but mostly it's just putting all the stuff about the 1989 album in one place. this series was inspired by this post, and this one was the trickiest one for me, because, like i mention later on here, 1989 was always exactly about the things taylor actually wrote about, it's been already ten years since we've had this album and in those ten years i was always picturing scenes from taylor's life so clearly that i thought this one would be hard, but it was actually very fun, and very easy to back this up because as soon as the thought is in your head there's no going back - it's so obvious that this is phil's mind through and through

the prologues:

original 1989 prologue

"I've told you my stories for years now. Some have been about coming of age. Some have been about coming undone. This is a story about coming into your own, and as a result... coming alive." - like he is so uniquely himself, aliveand vibrant, this somehow fits him so well, also he has been telling his stories for so long <3 "I hope you know that you've given me the courage to change. I hope you know that who you are is who you choose to be, and that whispers behind your back don't define you. You are the only person who gets to decide what you will be remembered for." - i can't give a single explanaiton why i chose this quote but you and meboth can imagine him saying this

1989 tv prologue

"The sense of freedom I felt when traveling to big bustling cities? I wanted to live in one." "You[the audience], who followed my zig zag creative choices and cheered on my risks and experiments. [...] You, who saw the seeds of allyship and advocating for equality"

and i really have to use jack's words because they justified this perfectly in the original post (that's haunting me for weeks, thank you very much) - "phil's unbothered princess nature reads so 1989 to me though like he is the it girl"

yes!! he is *the it girl*, and also yes taylor realy changed her entire life on purpose just to get to the unbothered princess state she's portraying in 1989!!! (but phil has naturally reached that hehe)

also what really gets me is how much she experimented here creatively, and how much she actually changed the entire pop music with this, and like... it reminds me so much of phil's early work with his creative explorations so this is comparison on another level

and i do think that the sound of the album matters more in this case than with midnights, first of all - the entire point of it is that it's inspired by the sound of the decade taylor was born in - the 80s, and do i have to mention a certain someone who was also born in the 80s??, second of all - in a weird way this sound really suits his persona (and now that he's blond even more so)

now onto lyrics, which i admit was a bit more difficult because i had this album for so long and i already had many other stories interwoven with these songs, plus there's too much talk about breakups and that's not really relevant. and while on midnights the meaning of lyrics was the key to understanding it, this one is less literal, and i'm looking more into the artistic ways of putting the vibes together to send the message (if that makes sense).

1 . welcome to new york

When we first dropped our bags on apartment floors/ Took our broken hearts, put them in a drawer/ Everybody here was someone else before/ And you can want who you want/ Boys and boys and girls and girls

The lights are so bright, but they never blind me

Like any great love, it keeps you guessing/ Like any real love, it's ever-changing/ Like any true love, it drives you crazy/ But you know you wouldn't change anything

2. blank space

listen, he just is that girl, i don't know what more do you need

no i don't think he's a nightmare dressed like a daydream, going around dating boys and ruining their lives or whatever tabloids were saying about taylor at the time that inspired this song, but he has that something about him, like, respectfully he so could be doing all of that and make it seem cool, just like the song does (the song's not about him, he is the song??)

Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things Magic, madness, heaven, sin Saw you there and I thought "Oh, my God, look at that face You look like my next mistake Love's a game, wanna play?"

and everyone would say "yes please"

Ain't it funny? Rumors fly/ And I know you heard about me (of course)

I can make the bad guys good for a weekend

'Cause you know I love the players and you love the game (maybe too niche but this line also in a way that she sings it on the eras when travis is there!!! just not a football game but a video game ofc)

'Cause we're young and we're reckless we'll take this way too far/ It'll leave you breathless, or with a nasty scar

Cherry lips, crystal skies/ I could show you incredible things

But you'll come back each time you leave/ 'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream (i just said he isn't but he is a little bit)

3. style

the whole idea of never going out of style (without the part of the songs where they sleep with other people...) - you get it! because they will never go out of style

I should just tell you to leave 'cause I know exactly where it leads, but I watch us go 'round and 'round each time

And when we go crashin' down, we come back every time 'cause we nеver go out of style

4. out of the woods

Looking at it now it all seems so simple/ We were lying on your couch/ I remember you took a Polaroid of us/ Then discovered the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color (this one makes me go insane)

Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet, in the clear yet? (controversial but think about this not in the way of an anxiety inducing relationship, but him asking himself if they can finally be comfortable together in public, or like are we out of the woods, are we in the clear yet? is it safe to come out finally????)

When you started crying, baby, I did too/ But when the sun came up, I was lookin' at you

5. shake it off - the phil song

i don't even know where to begin with this because no words are needed - just listen to it - it is phil

like anyone could say whatever they want, he will keep cruising, and he does in fact got some music in his mind playing all the time, and he makes the moves up as he goes and he just. doesn't. care. do you know whos winning the idgaf war - this song, and so is phil lester, because they are the one same entity, i rest my case.

now go listen to the song to make you feel better i'm not providing lyrics this needs to be experienced through listening always, no exceptions

*** i wish you would has nothing to do with anything we're talking about here but these "We're a crooked love in a straight line down/ Makes you want to run and hide/ Then it makes you turn right back around" together with "This mad, mad love makes you come runnin' To stand back where you stood" are the way i could see loving phil in the beginning would be like, i don't know what that means, but i had to mention it

6. wildest dreams

(and like always i'm ignoring the real meaning of this song and picking it apart because some of these lyrics are way too insane not to mention them, so forget that this is about imagining the inevitable end of a relationship as soon as it started)

He said, "Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds"/ I thought, "Heaven can't help me now"

He's so tall and handsome as hell/ He's so bad, but he does it so well (oops)

Red lips and rosy cheeks/ Say you'll see me again, even if it's just in your wildest dreams (idk but it feels like it belongs here, definitely not because of the first five words...)

I said, "No one has to know what wе do"/ His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room/ And his voicе is a familiar sound/ Nothin' lasts forever/ But this is gettin' good now (why does this reads as something so comforting instead of paranoid as soon as phil is involved)

*** all jokes aside(even though the title makes it very funny), should i add "how you get the girl" ??? because why is this phil in all his giving relationship advice videos????

7. this love

Clear blue water/ High tide came and brought you in/ And I could go on and on, on and on, and I will (also this in relation to dan's mastermind!! like: tide came and brought you in | none of it was accidental,, i'm a mastermind)

Tossing, turning/ Struggled through the night with someone new/ Baby, I could go on and on, on and on/ Lantern, burning/ Flickered in my mind for only you

In losin' grip, on sinking ships/ You showed up just in time

This love left a permanent mark/This love is glowing in the dark/ These hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me

When you're young, you just run but you come back to what you need

8. i know places

(i feel like this is another one that's up there! for how relatable it is to phil)

You stand with your hand on my waistline/ It's a scene and we're out here in plain sight/ I can hear them whisper as we pass by - It's a bad sign

Somethin' happens when everybody finds out/ See the vultures circlin', dark clouds (you can't convince me this wasn't one of their constant fears)

Baby, I know places we won't be found/ And they'll be chasing their tails tryin' to track us down/ 'Cause I, I know places we can hide (i'm sure he does)

Lights flash and we'll run for the fences/ Let them say what they want, we won't hear it

Loose lips sink ships all the damn time, not this time (!!!!!!! they won't let that happen)

Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it, my love/ They are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run

They take their shots, but we're bulletproof (I know places)

*** now, it's not a coincidence that on a phil album™ there's a "When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst" line, to justify clean being on there even though it's not otherwise phil-related

9. wonderlan

(this is from a 2009 phil's perspective, how they found each other and for a short time it was perfect until they started being more known to a general public)

You held on tight to me/ ’Cause nothing's as it seems/ And spinning out of control

Didn't it all seem new and excitin'?/ I felt your arms twistin' around me/ I should have slept with one eye open at night (should've been more careful about what they're posting for everyone to see...)

We found Wonderland, you and I got lost in it/ And we pretended it could last forever/ We found Wonderland, you and I got lost in it/ And life was never worse, but nevеr better

So, we went on our way/ Too in love to think straight (definitely)

All alone or so it seemed/ But there were strangers watchin'/ And whispers turned to talkin'/ And talking turned to screams

It’s all fun and games 'til somebody loses their mind (don't think about this for too long, it's a bit too painful)

10. you are in love

(aka the song that makes any dnp playlist of mine complete, this is the song)

One look, dark room, meant just for you/ Time moved too fast, you play it back/ Buttons on a coat, lighthearted joke/ No proof, not much, but you saw enough

He says, "Look up" and your shoulders brush/ No proof, one touch, but you felt enough

You can hear it in the silence/ You can feel it on the way home/ You can see it with the lights out/ You are in love, true love, you are in lovе

You keep his shirt, he keeps his word/ And for once, you lеt go of your fears and your ghosts

One night, he wakes, strange look on his face/ Pauses, then says, "You're my best friend"/ And you knew what it was, he is in love (i cannot scream about this enough)

And so it goes - you two are dancing in a snow globe 'round and 'round

And you understand now/ Why they lost their minds and fought the wars/ And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words (this last part might give off dan more because he's really been trying to put it into words in the weirdest ways for his whole life, but that's not the point)

11. new romantics

(this one always somehow reminds me of phil's way of thinking and seeing the world, in an abstract way??also this one is anoter one that so easily reads as unbothered princess mindset)

We're all bored, we're all so tired of everything/ We wait for trains that just aren't comin'/ We show off our different scarlet letters

We're so young, but we're on the road to ruin

We play dumb, but we know exactly what we're doin'

And evеry day is like a battle, but evеry night with us is like a dream/ Baby, we're the new romantics, come on, come along with me(he should be luring us in to watch his videos with this, it's so on point)

We are too busy dancin' to get knocked off our feet (philip "shake it off" micheal lester)

The best people in life are free (he's talking about himself<3)

The rumors are terrible and cruel/ But, honey, most of them are true (the man who asked for conspiracies and only got real life events as replies)

//and now the vault tracks// (that are almost a whole another album in my head)

12. "slut!"

(okay i don't think this is that phil coded but i'll mention some lyrics, but also this is just another side of the blank space, so it's fitting)

Adorned with smoke on my clothes/ Lovelorn and nobody knows/ Love thorns all over this rose

But if I’m all dressed up/ They might as well be lookin' at us/ [...] You know it might be worth it for once

Send the code, he's waitin' there/ The sticks and stones they throw froze mid-air

Everyone wants him, that was my crime

Got love-struck, went straight to my head / Got lovesick all over my bed/ Love to think you’ll never forget/ We’ll pay the price, I guess

Half asleep, Takin’ your time in the tangerine neon light, this is luxury/ You're not sayin' you're in love with me but you're goin' to/ Half awake, Takin' your chance, it's a big mistake - I said, "It might blow up in your pretty face"/ I'm not sayin', "Do it anyway"/ But you're going to (can you imagine this scene happening in like 2010???)

13. say don't go

(i already said this in the tags but this is phil's hiatus song, waiting for dan to decide to bring dnpg back, trust me, even though he was the nicest person ever about it <3)

The waiting is a sadness, fading into madness

I’m standin' on a tightrope alone/ I hold my breath a little bit longer/ Halfway out the door, but it won't close/ I'm holdin' out hope for you to say "Don't go"

I would stay forever if you say "Don't go" (he would!!!!)

Oh no, you're not there

I'm tryna see the cards that you won't show (=observing him to see if there would be a moment to ask him if he wants to come back)

*** suburban legends, again - not about him, but: "And when it came to you- I didn't come here to make friends, we were born to be suburban legends"??? and "When you hold me, it holds me together, And you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever" (but that one is just insane on it's own, when i'm not even thinking about these two)

so this one is the second in the collection, here's the post with the other two

[carmenized-onions]

First of all HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!

I just reread everything for the THIRD time and I finally built up the courage to send my thoughts. I am OBSESSED with this story! You had me hooked from the very first chapter you posted. I don’t think I’ve ever read a fan fiction that was this damn good. Every single detail is so well thought out, you have captured these characters perfectly. I can’t believe that you are writing this one week at a time (we need to get you in the room when they write season 4). Every character is written so well throughout this story, I can tell that you really get this show. I’ve always felt disconnected when reading fan fiction because the writing style is usually so different from how the actual show is scripted, but man… you nailed it. I feel like you understand these characters better than the actual writers of the show. Nothing you’ve written so far has felt out of character. I’m actually furious that this story isn’t cannon because it’s so damn good! I won’t make you read every single thought for every single chapter because that would take me forever to write and I’m not that great at writing. I will however share with you my overall thoughts on chapter 13:

Holy shit! This was THEE chapter. I love a flashback episode and this was PERFECT (I think you should be very proud on how this turned out holy moly). It is mind blowing how well you’ve fit Chip into this story. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a more detailed review of this chapter but next time I promise to write out my thoughts as I read. I am very excited to see what happens next. Have a lovely day!

THANK YOU DEAR, sorry I’m late to all these birthday wishes myself, I’ve got like 20 asks in my inbox, my apologies for my lateness loves, a bitch has been busy. 

THIRD re-read is WILD!! I wish I was still on my once a week release man, I was in my BAG. Hopefully after the move I can finally get back into it. ALSO listen, if anyone knows, how to get in that writers room, i’ll make myself so available. I’ll go anywhere. I’ll meet you on Huron and Orleans right now storer please. (though I do think they already filmed a majority if not all of S4? Which,, I’m not gonna lie I am worried about. They need Joanna Calo back like fucking yesterday. God i’m so in love with her). It really really means a lot to me though as a screenwriter being told so often that I should be in the room. So sincerely thank you!!

AS WELL AS THE STYLING YES!! I consider myself pretty versatile in terms of being able to switch my tone based on what genre I’m working with, but as a little fucking freak, The Bear lends itself very well to my own frantic stream of consciousness constantly over the top writing, I think. So I’m happy about that. And thank you thank you for saying I understand the characters, I’m always always trying to do their personas justice cause they’re !! just so !! I love them. They’re all very rounded out and managing all those little people quirks is always so fun and interesting. I can’t deny I also wish Chicago’s Kindest was cannon. It would be so interesting to see it play out in show perspective, rather than y’know having it as almost always Tony’s perspective going through her days. Ahhhh I can’t think about it for too long or I’ll lose it. 

AND THOUGHTS ON CHAPTER THIRTEEN THIS WAS ABSOLUTELY THEEEE chapter,, I think that’s why i’ve had so much trouble with Chapter 14 honestly, because it was like oh christ. That was my magnum opus. It’s all downhill from here. Hopefully that’s not the case, but we’ll see. I need everyone to gas me up so much when CH14 comes out. Chip is so woven in to the story at this point and it’s gonna personally hurt my feelings so much when S4 comes out and everything I wrote is not possible in future canon because Christopher’s gonna do that to hurt ME personally. Jkjkjkjk. But it is a secret fear I have. It’s fine. 

Thank you so much for your thoughts!! Also listen, I love getting peoples play by plays, but never feel pressured to do em!! Honestly hearing like people’s analysis’ of scenes as a whole that stuck out to them is probably my favourite shit to see— I LOVE IT ALL THOUGH— I DON’T KNOW— ITS ALL VERY GOOD AND I’M THANKFUL FOR ANY AND ALL THOUGHTS I GET!! I’M GONNA SHUT UP NOW!! Hope you enjoy the next one when it’s out see you then !!

[theoatmealbowl]

Into The Pit: The Game.

I'm a bit late, but I want to talk a bit about the new game coming up.

A couple of months ago, scholastic posted an image of upcoming FNAF content, alongside a small footnote labelled "INTO THE PIT! -new game coming soon". Soon after, people found images in steam relating to a FNAF game labelled Into The Pit, and eventually through searching Mega Cat Studios website, they found a trailer for the new game.

Eventually, Scott Cawthon confirmed in a reddit comment that the leaks were indeed real, and this is a new game that has been worked on for quite a while.

So, what IS this game, and what is Into The Pit?

The trailer seems to depict a pixel art-style game based off of the Fazbear Fright's story of the same name, Fazbear Fright's: Into The Pit #1. It DOES seem to differ a bit in straight events, but it does seem to be the same general story. This is a first time for FNAF, having a game be ENTIRELY in pixel art rather than just a short segment, but I think it looks really good. Check out the trailer for yourself!

In case you have never read Into The Pit (spoilers ahead), it's a story about a young boy named Oswald who goes to a restaurant every day called Jeff's Pizza. This pizza place in question is actually a renovated version of the original Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Eventually, bored from the lack of things to do in his town during summer, Oswald crawls into a dingy old ballpit quarantined off in the corner of Jeff's Pizza, and ends up reliving the memory of the missing childrens incident that occurred many years ago. Eventually, after witnessing what the yellow rabbit had done, he attempts to escape the ballpit, only for the rabbit to follow him out, and drag his dad into the ballpit. Afterwards, he seems to replace Oswalds dad, with no one else around him noticing. After a while back at school, he gains the courage to go back to Jeff's Pizza in the dead of night and rescue his dad. He pulls his dad out, and ends up getting in a fight with the yellow rabbit, who promptly ends up tangling itself in the ballpits netting and strangling itself.

Now, that's the original story, but this version of ITP seems to have a few notable differences, mainly people finding a teaser photo of Oswald at The Mill, a location in Fright's notable for being where The Agony is formed, a trash amalgamate controlled by Eleanor and William Afton. The fact that this area is never visited in the original story, but IS visited here might imply we'll get to see more of Fright's in this game then what we see in the book.

So, that's cool and all, but what does this mean for the lore?

Honestly not much? Besides confirming that the StitchlineGames theory is canon (for those uninformed, StitchlineGames is the theory that every story in Fazbear Fright's connected to the epilogues is canon and within the games continuity). This would also confirm that all stories in Tales from the Pizzaplex are canon. Which they are... because The Mimic appears in RUIN. What's interesting to me, however, is that Oswald's house looks exceedingly like the Afton's house from FNAF 4. That would explain why in the original story, Oswald draws characters from Freddy's before he ever first goes into the ballpit. If he lived in the Afton house, then the memories of Freddy's and Fredbear's would be affecting him and his mind, and explain why he draws them.

Another notable thing is it seems likely that this will be the game releasing for the 10th anniversary of FNAF. It makes sense, ITP seems like it's one of the stories Scott thinks is the most "FNAF" like in a sense. I also do like ITP a fair bit, so I'm not complaining. It should also be noted, however, that it's not confirmed if it will just be the story of ITP, as it could easily also include the stories of To Be Beautiful and Count The Ways, both stories from Fright's #1.

And lastly, here's a look at the official banner for the game!

[xiv-wolfram]

Monsters - Comic Script

Stormblood - Patch 4.2

Wolfram does a better job dealing with Yotsuyu's abuser than Hien did. :)

TW: Yotsuyu's past, mention of past forced prostitution, choking, violence

Wolfram Saga Comics (Chronological)

This is the script for a future comic. Posting for those who don’t want to wait to get the story. Numbers indicate frame number. A/B mean a frame is split.

Wolfram, Alisae, Gosetsu, Hien, Alphinaud, and Yugiri standing in a circle in The House of the Fierce. Wolfram stands opposite Hien, next to Alisae and Yugiri. Narrator - "Wolfram is in Doma and was tasked with finding a man named Jifuya who had abandoned his post only to discover that he was one of Yotsuyu's abusers. The man who had bought her from her father and forced her to work in his brothel. He ran away out of fear for her and wants a new post for his own protection."

Hien pondering - "Gosetsu told me Jifuya's tale. His past conduct was...regrettable. But the man has served the Liberation Front with distinction for years, and that should not be forgotten. He will have his new post." Wolf standing with his arms crossed. Angry, Thought - 'What I won't forget is the man who just - on recounting when he first met Yotsuyu - referred to a traumatized young woman as a doll.'

Wolfram tightens his jaw and clenches his fist, yet remains quiet. Thought - 'Of course - a royal happy to keep the status quo. Why did I expect any different from this one?'

Hien looks resigned to his decision - "I would not presume to defend the life Jifuya led before he joined the Front. Nor will I condemn it. Frankly, it is not my place to judge. I will only say this: the Jifuya I know has ever been a man of courage. That he should feel driven to flee bespeaks the depth of his terror. Even now, Yotsuyu casts a shadow over the realm…"

A) Alisae looks shocked. B) Yugiri's eyes narrow.

A) Wolfram puts a hand on Alisae's shoulder. She looks up at him with a concerned expression. B) He nods. 

It's night time. Jifuya walks down a path in Yanxia. Wolfram leaning against a tree down the path from him drinking from his flask. 

Jifuya stops in front of Wolfram and smiles - "Oh, is the Warrior of Light here to escort me safely? I'm on my way to my new post, yet these parts are still dangerous."

Wolf smirks and puts his flask away - "Aye, I'm here for you. Don't worry, it's about to get much less dangerous around here."

Wolf speaking casually and smiling as they walk along the road - "I suppose it was a surprise to see Yotsuyu after so long. You're lucky to have been given a new post. Hien was certainly …understanding."

Jifuya smiles - "Yes, he is a great leader. We're lucky to have him." Wolf scoffs. 

Wolf smiles sadly, looking around at the scenery - "You know - I had a little sister once… a long time ago. I wonder how she would have fared if my parents had been allowed to through with their plan of trading her to that Garlean officer. In a way… marriage is -"

A) Jifuya eyeing Wolf with confusion. B) Wolf looks down the path, straight face - "Well, *that kind* of marriage - is selling a woman to a man she doesn't want. In Yotsuyu's case it was worse - several men."

Wolf ponders, scratching his head - "I suspect men. It's usually them after all - yet the details matter not. I did assume that Ana would have rather died than suffer that life… but I can't truly know. Perhaps she would have become like Yotsuyu instead?"

They reach a bridge. Wolf beams - "This will do nicely. Let us rest a while."

Jifuya smiles - "Alright then. I'm sure we've both had a long day. I feel a bit guilty - you being out here when you could be resting."

Wolf gives him a friendly smile and pats him on the shoulder - "Worry not! I have time for you." Jifuya smiles back. 

A) Wolf leans against the bridge railing, looking up at the sky, pondering - "You make a good point though…I'm not a young man. Neither of us are." B) Wolf turns his head to look at Jifuya - "I've seen quite a bit of the world. Something I've come to believe is this - Monsters like Yotsuyu, more often than not, aren't born. They're made. Made by other monsters."

Jifuya leaning against the bridge, nods sadly, looking at the ground - "Unfortunately, I agree."

Wolf continues, not acknowledging the other man's words, smiling sadly - "That's how I was made after all. The Garleans were my monsters. Still are... I won't claim complete innocence but they certainly were the catalyst for my literal transformation from man to beast. I wonder how many monsters I've created as well…"

Jifuya  confused - "What do you mean … you're the Warrior of Light. You're a hero. You save people."

Wolf beams - "Aye, that's true! It's my favorite part of the job. I save someone and I feel a bit of the monster inside me die off instead. Just a small bit. Not enough to truly change what I am. Yet perhaps over time it will be… not in *his* lifetime but perhaps in mine. If what they say about the Echo is true…" 

A) Wolf, scoffs and takes a swig from his flask. B) Jifuya stares at him in confusion - "I'm sorry sir, but you're not making sense."

Wolf laughs charmingly as he slips the flask back into his jacket - "Aye, I have a habit of thinking out loud like that. My apologies -"

Wolf smiles and stands in front of Jifuya - "Heroes and monsters. I used to think people were one or the other. Good or bad. Now I'm not so sure. After all - I chose to be a hero despite my past."

Zoomed out shot. Wolf chuckles - "Hells, I was even made the Warrior of Light! Though if that was reward or curse is a question I have no answer for."

Wolf smiles - "Activating the blessing certainly has its benefits. Enhanced strength - for instance. Yet one thing is clear. I am a monster, but I am also a hero. And you know what heroes do?"

A) Jifuya looks up at him still confused - "Well I suppose they -" B) Wolf scoffs at the man as he briefly glows white.

A) Zoomed out shot. Wolf holds out his arm, grabbing Jifuya by the neck. B) Close shot. Wolf smiles sadly - "They kill monsters."

Jifuya scared - "No! P-Please I've changed!"

Wolf smiles sadly and shrugs - "That very well may be - and yet I have no way of knowing for sure. I've read people wrong before. It cost many lives as well as the arm of the best man I know. Unfortunately for you - you weren't a thug, a thief, or a small-time murderer. You just so happened to do the one thing I cannot seem to overlook or give a second chance to."

Jifuya surprised - "Over a couple of girls several years ago?! Some pretty dolls with lifeless eyes? You won't get away with this! They'll know I'm gone!"

Wolf lifts the Hyur with one hand, holds him over the railing and grins - "Aye, for some *women* who you couldn't even be bothered to treat like people. As for you being found - I'm counting on it. They'll notice you're gone and come to search for you again. Hells, maybe they'll ask for my help this time too. And do you know what they'll find?"

Jifuya struggling, pulling at Wolfs hands with both of his, trying to cry out, but Wolf's grip is tighter.

A) Wolf smirks - "A coward who fled for the second time and managed to break his neck falling over a bridge." B) Jifuya stares at Wolf in horror.

A) Wolf breaks his neck with one hand. B) Wolf let's his body drop over the side of the bridge. *thud*

Shot of the broken body on the ground below.

A) Wolf scoffs - "That felt better than expected. Must mean I was right." B) Takes another drink from the flask. 

Dark ominous shot of Wolf walking down the empty path alone.

Wolfram Saga Comics (Chronological)