#in my defense it was tasty

[lyrashifts]

had a lucid dream the other night and instead of shifting (which i didn't forget about, i was totally aware i could just make a portal) i decided to eat a cupcake LIKE I COULDN'T EAT A REAL ONE IN MY DR

[suntails]

B&W

[tickfleato]

while there are many sandwiches that just hit different when u get them from a deli, i feel like BLTs really shine when u make em at home. source: i just put fried egg in it and yummy

[samuelroukin]

having a really expensive vegan protein pudding treat becaurse i never eat enough protein and it's just not even good. sad

[smidge-j]

Am I drinking an energy drink at 8 30 pm? Yeah

Am I going to regret this later? Probably not

Should I regret this later? Most likely yeah

[spider-shoes]

me, eating foods that make me take 5 damage per minute for hours afterwards: damn girl why does my head hurt

[astrummorte]

oh i love this face claim already.

[animebw]

Not me buying a box of strawberries to last me the week and then eating the whole thing on the walk back from the store...

[rainswings]

Self-affirming "we're all gonna die anyways" before ordering overpriced delivery

[babybluebex]

𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐧𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐭 | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you meet steve and nancy’s new baby and can’t help but notice eddie acting strange. once you finally get the truth out of him— that he wants a baby with you— you can’t help but share the fantasy. 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: eddie munson (stranger things) x fem!reader 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: SMUT (minors dni), cream pie, praise kink, breeding kink, slight degradation kink, use of “mama” and “daddy” (not sexually, though), baby content, i named steve and nancy’s baby amelia bc why not 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5k 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: inspired by and beta’d by @cherrycordial98, thank you bobbie for giving me this tasty rotisserie chicken hehe

“Aw, Stevie!” you cooed. “She’s so beautiful!”

The baby in your arms cooed back at you and sputtered her pert little pink lips, and you smiled widely. It had been several weeks since Steve and Nancy had their first baby— Nugget, as they called her before she was born, and has since been named Amelia— but you never had been able to meet her until then. She truly was a beautiful little baby, fat pink cheeks and wispy dark hair and her father’s big brown eyes, and you pouted playfully as you laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. 

“She looks like her mom,” Steve said, and Nancy rolled her eyes. 

“With those eyes, she looks more like you,” Nancy told Steve, and baby Amelia grabbed at your pinkie with her tiny little hand. 

“She’s definitely got Daddy’s hair,” you chuckled. You looked over beside you, to Eddie, and you laughed as you saw him on the far end of the couch, seemingly cowering from the baby. You had, in his defense, dragged him here against his will and forced him to interact with Amelia, and it was no surprise to you that he didn’t want to hold her. Eddie was weird around kids to begin with, and babies were definitely not his forté, but he was acting especially weird about Amelia. You wanted to ask him about it, but you also didn’t want to do it in front of Steve and Nancy, so you made a mental note to ask later.

“Ed, you wanna say hi?” Steve asked, and Eddie’s wide eyes locked onto you and Amelia. 

“I’m good,” Eddie chirped sharply, and Nancy rolled her eyes. “I-I can appreciate her from over here.” 

“She’s not gonna puke on you or anything,” you told your boyfriend with a laugh. “She’s just the sweetest little thing. Aren’t you, little girl? Aren’t you the sweetest thing?” 

Amelia cooed again, a cute smile on her face, and her grip tightened on your pinkie. 

“Holy shit,” you laughed, lightly tugging your hand away. “She’s got some grip strength, doesn’t she?” 

“Yeah!” Steve chuckled. “She’s so much stronger than I thought babies could be. But she’s so cute, so it’s fine if she crushes my finger.” 

“She’s adorable,” you nodded, and you looked at Eddie again. He was still watching you and Amelia closely, his owlish eyes open fully and unblinking, and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “You okay, Eds?”

“Fine,” Eddie answered quickly. “Um, Steve, bathroom?” 

“Down the hall, man,” Steve said slowly, jerking his thumb in the direction of said hallway, and Eddie was quick to stand up and escape, the chain on his jeans jingling as he walked. You and Steve and Nancy all waited until you heard the door close, and Nancy looked at you with confusion etched all over her face. 

“What the hell was that?” she asked. 

You shrugged, bouncing Amelia lightly in your arms as she gurgled. “I have no idea,” you said softly. “Eddie’s not too into kids and stuff, but I’ve never seen him like this.” 

“You don’t think it has anything to do with us?” Steve asked. 

“I don’t think so,” you replied. “I mean, you’re his best friend, and Nancy’s mine; I don’t think it has anything to do with it being your baby. I mean, anything bad. Maybe he’s like ‘oh shit, our friends have a baby’.”

“Does Eddie want kids?” Nancy asked, and you sighed heavily.

“I don’t know,” you said. “We haven’t really talked about it. I always assumed no, just because he typically doesn’t like kids, but… I have no idea. Maybe he does, and he’s having, like, a revelation crisis in your bathroom.” 

Nancy stepped closer to you and scooped Amelia into her arms, and you rubbed your palms nervously on your knees. “Should I go talk to him?” you asked. 

“Might be worth a shot,” Steve shrugged. 

You watched Nancy and baby Amelia for a moment more before you stood up, and you carefully moved down the hallway to the closed bathroom door. It was quiet on the other side of the door, practically no sign of Eddie, and you sighed and placed your palm flat against the door. “Eds?” you said gently. “Everything okay in there?” 

It was quiet for a moment, then Eddie’s voice floated from the other side. “Yeah,” he said, but you knew better. 

“What’s wrong, Eddie?” you asked. “Baby, whatever it is, you can tell me.” 

More silence. Then: “Nothing’s wrong. I just can’t tell you here. Or now. Wait until we get home, then I’ll tell you.” 

“I—” you started. “Eddie, sweetheart, are you feeling okay?” 

“I feel…” Eddie started. “Weird. I’ll tell you later, when Steve and Nancy aren’t around with that baby.” 

“Well…” you started. “Steve and Nancy aren’t here right now. Could you maybe tell me now? I’m just worried about you, sweetheart.”

It was quiet for a long moment, but then the door creaked open an inch to show a sliver of Eddie’s body. He was quiet as he gestured for you to come into the bathroom with him, and you stepped inside quickly. Eddie sighed heavily once the door shut, and he hoisted himself to sit on the counter again. “Alright,” he said. “So, yeah, I’m not a huge fan of kids. Babies. The whole thing scares me. I don’t know why, but kids really make me nervous. I guess, like, because I don’t know how to act with them.”

“Well, Eds, that’s totally okay,” you told him. “Not everyone is good with kids, and just because you’re a little anxious around Amelia doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.”

“That’s not all,” Eddie said quickly. Obviously it wasn’t; his face was turning pink, his ears tinting vermillion, and you knew that he had more to say. “I would’ve held her. I wanted to hold her, but I couldn’t…”

“Why not?” you asked.

“Because I wanted to keep watching you hold her,” Eddie said. He took a deep breath then, and he added, “You were so good with her, and you looked so… I can’t explain it, but you looked beautiful holding that baby. It got me thinking about what would happen if we had a baby…”

Your heart rammed itself up into your throat, and you mumbled, “Oh. Eddie—”

“I know we haven’t really talked about that,” Eddie interjected, his brown eyes widening. “And, like, I never really thought about it until right now, but I think… I don’t know, this would totally be on you, because, duh, but I think I might want a baby with you.” 

That shocked you silent. You grappled for words as you tried to make sense of what Eddie was telling you, and you finally uttered, “Really? Like, really?”

“I know it seems stupid,” Eddie mumbled, his gaze falling down into his lap. He kicked his feet a little as you watched him similarly fight for the words to express his thoughts, and he muttered out, “And, like, maybe it is. But just seeing you with Steve’s baby, seeing you be so good with her, it… I don’t know. My chest felt all funny and it was hard to breathe. I couldn’t help but imagine that being our baby that you were holding and kissing and loving-on. And I got… It’s dumb. I got a little turned on thinking about it.”

“Eds,” you said softly. “None of that is dumb or stupid. That’s— That’s sweet. Do you want kids, or do you just like seeing me with a baby?”

“I think I want kids with you,” Eddie said. “I mean, think about it. A tiny little baby, my eyes and your nose, cooing so sweet in your arms. Just like Amelia, but she’s ours. She’s a product of our love. Doesn’t that sound so… I don’t know… Right?” 

“It does,” you said. “But, Eddie, I don’t know, this seems really sudden.”

“Well, I mean, I only figured out that this is something I want, like, five minutes ago,” Eddie chuckled lightly. “This is sudden for me too. But, umm… What’re your thoughts here?”

You leaned against the counter next to Eddie, digging your fingernails into your thighs, and he started, “I… I won’t lie, it seems like a really bad idea. I mean… Eddie, we’re so young—”

“Not anymore than Steve and Nancy,” Eddie argued. 

“And we haven’t been together for nearly as long as Steve and Nancy have,” you added. “It just seems so… Quick. Are you sure?”

“I love you,” Eddie uttered, lifting his head from looking at his lap to look at you. “And just because I say I want kids doesn’t mean we have to start on it now. Like, maybe it can be one of those ‘someday’ things. Like, y’know, someday we’ll have a baby.” 

You chewed your lip as you thought about it, collecting everything that was floating around your mind, and you finally said, “Would it be so bad if we did start now?” 

Eddie looked at you with his eyebrows raised in surprise. “What’re you saying?” 

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. It was your turn to anxiously look at your lap, and you picked at a thread on your sweater as you muttered, “I mean, you make a lot of good points. Maybe a baby would be… I don’t know, there’s so much that makes me wanna say no, but there’s one thing that makes me wanna say yes, and it, like, feels so much more important than everything telling me no.”

“What is it?” Eddie asked. He jumped off of the counter and turned to you, and he gently spread your knees to slot his body between your thighs. His hands skated up your warm legs to your waist, and he held you close as he whispered, “Tell me, baby, what’re you thinking about?” 

“I’m thinking about you holding a baby,” you said softly. “Our baby. A little baby with your everything, hair and eyes and laugh. It’s kinda driving me crazy now that I’ve thought about it.”

“Now you see what I mean,” Eddie said with a smile. “You wanna try for a baby?”

You sighed heavily. “Maybe,” you said. “We can certainly practice, but I think I need a little more time to really be certain.” 

“That’s good enough for me,” Eddie said, and he leaned forward and kissed you. His mouth was warm as his lips moved over yours, and he tilted his head to deepen the kiss as he pulled your hips closer to his. 

Before you could sling your arms around Eddie’s neck and pull him closer, there was a solid knock from the other side of the door. “You two alright in there?” Steve called through the door. “You’ve been talking for a while.” 

“We’re fine,” Eddie replied. “We’re making a baby in here.”

“Eddie!” you gasped, and you lightly hit his chest as he grinned at you. “We’re not doing that! We’re just talking, we’ll be out in a minute.” 

Eddie chuckled lightly and buried his face in your neck, and he whispered, “I think I wanna go hold that baby.” 

You left the bathroom with Eddie’s hand in yours, and, when he reentered the living room, where Nancy held Amelia, he had a spring in his step that he hadn’t had when he left. “Hey, Nance,” he said. “Can I hold her?” 

It was a sight that you had never thought that you would see. Eddie sat on the couch and held his arms out for Amelia, and Nancy carefully transferred her small daughter into Eddie’s leather-clad arms. Amelia seemed sleepy, her little eyes sticking when she blinked, and she looked lazily up at Eddie as he grinned like a madman. “Look, babe,” Eddie chuckled as Amelia warmed to him instantly, nestling herself deep into her blanket and letting out a soft coo. “I’m holding a baby. I’m doing it.” 

“I’m proud of you,” you giggled, and Eddie lightly bounced Amelia as he smiled down at her. 

“She’s really pretty,” Eddie said, looking up at Steve for a moment. “Gonna have to get that bat out and fight off the boys when she’s older.” 

“I hope not,” Steve laughed. “That bat’s retired. Nancy can be cleaning her guns when boys try to come over.” 

“Hell yeah,” Eddie snickered, and Amelia reached a fat baby fist up and grappled with the guitar pick necklace he had around his neck. “Oh, you like this? Think you want Uncle Eddie to teach you guitar?” 

“Uncle Eddie,” you repeated. “That’s scary. You’ll be such a bad influence.” 

“Just as I plan to be,” Eddie grinned, watching Amelia. “I’ll show her metal music and horror movies and we’ll play D&D every night.” 

“Oh, God,” Nancy laughed. “My poor daughter.” 

“Nah, not really,” Eddie said, and your heart exploded when he leaned down and kissed her forehead. It was the most perfect sight, and you grinned at him. “I’ll treat her like the princess she is.” 

The drive home was fairly quiet, Eddie’s hand resting on your thigh as he drove, tapping his fingers along with the radio. He didn’t speak, obviously thinking hard about something, and he finally spoke as he pulled the van up into the small space next to the trailer. “So…” he started. “How do you feel?” 

“I feel like I want a baby,” you said simply. “There’s a million reasons not to, but the only reason I need is that I love you.”

“I’ll be the best fucking father to our kid,” Eddie told you, his grip tightening on your thigh. His eyes were serious and dark, and you took his hand into yours “I won’t ever make you regret it.” 

“Let’s do it,” you said, and you took a deep breath. “Let’s have a baby.”

Eddie got you into the trailer in a flash, pushing you against the kitchen counter in an instant and caging you in with his arms. He kissed you softly at first, his lips moving nicely against yours as his arms came to wrap around your middle, but he didn’t waste time to tilt his head and deepen the kiss. “Fuck, baby,” Eddie whispered as his hands slotted into your back pockets.

“Eddie,” you moaned. You pressed forward into him, chasing his kiss, and you whined softly when he pulled away. Eddie licked his lips and smiled at you, and he squeezed your ass as he chuckled. 

“Desperate, huh?” he laughed. “You just want my baby so badly, don’t you?” 

“Want you,” you told him, and you leaned forward to meet his lips again. His hands rose from your ass to cradle your cheeks in his palms, and he breathed deeply through his nose as his tongue pressed between your lips. Your hands went to his belt and tugged him closer, right on top of you, and Eddie’s knee knocked your legs open so he could shove his thigh right up against your clothed cunt. 

“C’mere,” Eddie grunted. “To bed… I’m not getting you pregnant in the kitchen.” 

You hummed and playfully tugged on his belt buckle, starting to undo it, and you said, “What if I can’t wait?”

“God,” Eddie groaned, your hand slipping past his belt and into his jeans. “You’re such a little vixen, baby, fuck.”

Your hand was filled by Eddie’s cock in an instant, already half hard and throbbing, and you leaned forward and settled your lips on Eddie’s smooth neck as your hand started to palm him lazily, just giving him enough to get him worked up. “Eddie,” you moaned softly into his ear, gently nipping at his fleshy earlobe, and Eddie’s hands grabbed your hips tightly. His fingers mischievously itched up your shirt and squeezed your side, and you grinned as you sucked a mark just under his ear. “Fuck, Eddie, need this cock inside me.” 

“I know, sweetheart, I know,” Eddie sighed, and his eyes closed blissfully for a moment, enjoying your movements against his cock, before he took your wrist in his grip and tugged your hand out of his jeans. “But I’m not fucking you in the kitchen, not today. We’re gonna fuck in bed, okay?”

“Why?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. “Why do you care?”

“Because I wanna treat you nicely if I’m about to get you pregnant,” Eddie laughed, and your cheeks grew aflamed at the reminder. “I don’t want the kind of fucking where I bend you over and spit on you and fuck you; I want to be nicer to you, more romantic and shit.”

“What if I like when you fuck me like that?” you asked. 

“I know you do,” Eddie told you. “But, please, baby, just for tonight. We can go back to our regular-type fucking, but I just need this tonight.”

You considered it, watching Eddie bite his lip as his eyes grew round and wide, and you finally said, “You’re cute when you beg.” 

Eddie playfully rolled his eyes, and he grabbed your hand and tugged you back to the private little bedroom in the back of the trailer. Eddie’s place was always messy, but you loved that about him, and you settled yourself in his bed without a moment’s hesitation. You were quick to whip off your shirt and toss it aside, and Eddie tsk-ed his tongue and took your hands in his. 

“Let me,” he told you. “Being all romantic and shit, remember?” 

“Right, right,” you hummed slowly, and you smiled at Eddie as he settled himself on his knees over you. He took down your jeans, littering kisses on your skin in his wake, and your tummy flipped when he tugged your jeans off all the way and discarded them off the side of the bed. His head was level with your cunt, and he smoothed his hands up the sides of your body as he kissed just above the waistline of your panties. 

“Right here, baby,” he whispered. “Right here’s where our baby’s gonna grow.” His fingers tangled in your panties and pulled them down, moving so slowly that you whimpered and shifted your hips, and Eddie lightly nipped at the skin of your hip. “Not very patient…” 

“S’hard to be,” you told him. “I just want you so bad.” 

Eddie tucked his hair behind his ear as he settled another kiss to your belly, and he said, “I want you too. Fuck, it’s taking everything in me not to just fuck you right now.” 

“Please, Eddie,” you whimpered. “Please, I just need you. Fuck being romantic, we can be romantic later.” 

“No, baby, no,” Eddie said quickly. “I want to do this right. At least once, I wanna be romantic and cute and shit. What if this is the time our baby’s conceived?”

“What if it happens two months from now during a quickie before work?” you countered. “Eds, I get where you’re coming from, but I’m horny now and I can’t wait.” 

Eddie sighed for a moment, and he said, “You’re right. Fuck, why’re you always right?” 

Your work responded in kind to his, taking down his jeans and ridding him of his shirt, and you put your hand on his chest to push him down to the bed. You tossed your leg over his waist and settled yourself in his lap, and his arms circled your waist as he rose up to kiss you deeply. You moaned softly at the taste of him, his hard cock straining against his boxers and pressing right into your bare cunt, and you rocked your hips forward to get some friction on your lonely clit. 

Eddie held you tightly, grabbing handfuls of your ass to guide you as you grinded up on him. His mouth claimed your greedily, sloppy and wet kisses that broke with soft sounds every time you pulled away to breathe, and Eddie abandoned your ass to tug at your bra. “Take this off…” he mumbled into your mouth as he undid the clasp, and, the moment that your tits were bared to him, his mouth redirected focus onto your pebbled nipple. 

“Fuck, Eds,” you moaned as he laved your nipple with his tongue. He sucked on it for a moment as his hands joined, squeezing your tits and rubbing them all over, and he dropped off and hummed lightly as he watched your chest heave with heavy breaths. 

“How’re you so fucking gorgeous?” Eddie whispered, and he dragged you back down into a heavy kiss. His mouth was blistering hot against yours, the taste of him heavy on your tongue, and his hands drifted up to lightly tug on your hair. “Mmm, I love you, baby.” 

“Need you,” you told him breathlessly, and you laughed lightly when Eddie licked his lips and attached himself back to your tit. 

“How do you need me, baby?” Eddie asked, licking over your nipple. “Tell me exactly how you need me.” 

“Need you inside me,” you uttered, your head falling back in pleasure. “Need you to give me your baby.” 

“Sounds hot, sweetheart,” Eddie said. When you lifted your head back up to look at him, his eyes were blown-out with lust, and you smiled at him gently. “C’mon, then; you want it so bad, get it.” 

You looked down at where your bodies connected, him still wearing his boxers, and you helped him shimmy them down his legs. He tossed them off the bed with a flick of his wrist, and the sight of his cock, red and hard and weeping, made your breath catch. “I love you,” you whispered, and Eddie laughed. 

“You sayin’ that to me or my dick?” Eddie chuckled, and you rolled your eyes. 

“You, obviously,” you said. “But I do love your cock.” 

“Good, you’d better,” Eddie said. “‘Cause I love your pussy— I mean, you.” 

You giggled as he gave you his lopsided grin, his mischievous grin, and you folded your arms around his neck, twirling a curl around your finger. “Can you please get inside me already?” you asked, and Eddie squeezed your tits one more time before he abandoned them in favor of grabbing his cock. 

“I’ve hardly prepped you,” Eddie mumbled as he stroked his cock, the tip of his tongue peeking out between his lips. “It’s gonna hurt.” 

“No, it won’t,” you assured him, leaning down and kissing him quickly. 

“Alright,” Eddie sang jokingly. “But if it stings and you need me to slow down, that’s too bad.” 

“Whatever,” you said as you rolled your eyes, and Eddie pressed the head of his cock into you before he grabbed your hips and helped you sink fully onto him. He was right— it stung something awful, the stretch of your pussy around his thick cock taking you off guard as always, and you sucked in a tight breath through your teeth as you wiggled your hips to regain comfort. 

“Oh, baby,” Eddie cooed, cradling the back of your head with his palm. “Does it hurt? Just like I fuckin’ said it would?” 

“Shut up,” you said as you slotted your lip between your teeth, and you slowly rocked your hips down as Eddie jerked his hips up into you. The slide of him against your slick walls was the most perfect pain, and you whimpered as he slowly started up a good rhythm of fucking you. “Eddie, fuck.” 

“I know, sweetheart,” Eddie huffed, his dull fingernails digging into your ass. He controlled the speed of him fucking you, rolling your hips forward to bury himself deeper inside you, and you moaned lowly at the pleasure that was blossoming in your lower belly. “You feel so fucking good.” 

“Fuck me harder,” you told him, and you tucked your face into his neck and began to slowly kiss his skin. “God, Eddie, fuck me.” 

Without a moment’s hesitation, Eddie hooked his hands under your thighs and manhandled you to the bed, your back hitting the mattress as you gave a quiet “Oof!”. Eddie was over you in a second, pressing your legs higher and further apart until your knees were situated by your ears, and he clenched his jaw as his thrusts became quicker, harder, sloppier. “Like this?” he huffed, holding your legs open as he pounded into you. The bed slammed against the wall with each thrust, and you laughed. 

“Yes!” you cried. “Fuck, just like this!” 

“My girl,” Eddie hummed as he fucked you, his strong hands on your thighs. His cock speared into you deep, his heavy balls slapping your sticky cunt, and you tossed your head back and moaned as Eddie’s hand left your leg in order to rub at your clit. A hot bolt of electricity ran up your legs and settled in your tummy at the feeling of his fingers roughly playing at your clit, pinching and circling and teasing you in the best way he could. “My good fuckin’ girl, love having your clit touched, huh?” 

“Eddie, fuck,” you whined. Your hands grappled in the bed sheets for any purchase, any way to keep yourself grounded, and your scrambling hand was quickly filled by Eddie’s ringed hand, holding your fingers tightly. 

“I fuckin’ love you,” Eddie hissed, your pussy throbbing and hugging him tight. “Fuckin’ love this pussy too…”

“Do you love me more than you love my pussy?” you asked with a breathy laugh, and Eddie squeezed your hand for a moment. 

“Of course I do,” he smiled. He fucked into you hard, the bed hitting the wall loudly, and you bit your lip as you laughed at him. “God, baby, thinkin’ about you getting all pregnant, having my baby…” His cock flexed inside you, the glide of him now easy and pleasurable, and he added, “It’s enough to make me come.” 

“Do it,” you teased him, and Eddie raised his eyebrows at you as he chuckled. “Fucking come inside me, give me your babies, Eddie.” 

“Love the way you say my name,” Eddie mumbled. “Can’t wait ‘til I can call you Mama.”

“And you’ll be Daddy,” you told him, and a flush invaded Eddie’s cheeks. “Just think about it, a little girl calling you Daddy, asking you to play dolls with her…”

“I’ll always play dolls with that little girl,” Eddie said. “Our own little nugget. God, I can’t wait.” 

Edide’s hand moved quicker on your clit, rubbing it furiously as his thrusts became faster, and he panted with exertion as he whispered, “You gettin’ close, babe? Daddy’s gonna make Mama come?”

The knot in your belly was growing tighter with every thrust Eddie gave you, his cock nestling into that spot inside you as he played with your clit and squeezed your hand. “Fuck, Eds,” you mewled, your back arching up into his body. “I love you, oh my God.”

“I love you too,” Eddie said. “C’mon, baby, you can come, come for me.” 

The sounds hitting the wall were intense, wet and sticky and so erotic, and you whined as you felt the knot grow tighter and the electricity more intense. The shocks were rocking your thighs, making you quiver in Eddie’s grip, and you finally mumbled, “M’gonna come…”

“Good girl,” Eddie said, his thrusts growing quicker. “Come for me, baby, you can do it.”

You could taste it on your tongue, and you tugged Eddie down into a kiss as you came undone. Your mouth fell open as you moaned and cried, and Eddie bit at your bottom lip as you gushed around his cock. “Fuck!” you cried, your whole body writhing, and you heard Eddie whisper “Yes, baby, just like that. God, you’re so fuckin’ beautiful like this.” 

“You close?” you whispered, your body still recovering from the white-hot orgasm, and Eddie nodded, his bangs falling into his face. 

“Gonna fill you up,” he said. “Gonna give you my baby, fuck, you’ll get all pregnant…” 

“Give me your baby, Eddie,” you breathed, dragging him down into another sloppy kiss. His spit covered your mouth, but you didn’t care, only caring about making him come. You squeezed his throbbing cock tight, and he moaned deep in his chest as, finally, you felt his heavy balls release, and he came. 

The hot ropes of cum filled you as he continued to fuck you through his own orgasm, and he shuddered out a moan that made his stomach flex as his thrusts slowed. “Fuck, sweetheart,” he whispered, his voice raw and wrecked, and he readjusted himself on his hands as he carefully fucked you. 

“Baby, you can stop—” you began, but Eddie silenced you with a kiss. 

“Gotta make sure it takes,” he mumbled into your mouth.

You sighed and let your head fall back, and your thighs twitched with residual arousal as Eddie slowed and finally stopped, panting heavily. His upper lip and forehead were shining with sweat, his guitar pick necklace sticking to his sweaty chest, and he pulled out of you with a hiss before he fell onto his back beside you. The bed was small, but you made do, and you hugged Eddie close to you and nestled your head under his chin. 

“Think it’ll take?” you asked, and Eddie nodded. He smoothed his hand down your hair and he placed a kiss to your forehead, and his hand settled against the small of your back. 

“I hope so,” he said. “I can hardly wait to see.” 

[swingingthehatchetnow]

r/AITA

u/WigglyWigg • 3y

AITA for nuking Moscow?

This past Friday, I (M, ̶̨̡̢̧̨̘̫̫̻͙̣͕̺̟̽̃̀͋́̚̚͜ ̷̡̭̜̩͕̠̦̗̟̟̫̖͇͎̽̌̾̿̌̈́̓̄̏̌̇̚͜͜ ) was at home when the President of the United States (M, >35) deployed a nuclear bomby-wom with the intent to destroy me. I redirected the nuke for my own self preservation, and in the process, pushed it through a dimensional gateway into Moscow, obliterating it in the process. AITA?

⬆️ 1.4k | ⬇️ | 💬384

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TheBastardsBack • 3y

NTA. Your house, your rules, man.

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 1.1k ⬇️

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SingAlongPokotho • 3y

NTA. It was self defense. Also didn’t the President enter your home without a warrant? That’s mega sus. Def NTA

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 974 ⬇️

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WileySnake • 3y

NTA. See folks, this is what America has come to. What the world has come to. Ain’t it a shame.

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 950 ⬇️

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QueenB_itch • 3y

NTA. Good.

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 925 ⬇️

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Blink1nceBlink2wice • 3y

NTA. u/SingAlongPokey literally sent a meteor to a small town. Can’t be worse than that lmao

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 899 ⬇️

| SingAlongPokotho • 3y

| Didnt you literally try to tear a family apart

| at your personal amusement park?

… ↩️ ⬆️ -2 ⬇️

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Jaegerbomb • 3y

Ha ha ha NTA

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 782 ⬇️

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Mouthface • 3y

NTA it was really funny.

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 670 ⬇️

| Mouthface • 3y

| Tasty too tbh. Yum yum.

 … ↩️ ⬆️ 130⬇️

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MoreBadder • 3y

r/MURICA

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 669 ⬇️

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Idontlikemusicals • 3y

NTA. Fuck Moscow. Fuck ‘em straight to hell

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 602 ⬇️

| Shitlips • 3y

| Hey, at least they aren’t Cl*vesdale.

| Assholes

… ↩️ ⬆️ 1.9k ⬇️

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SpotlightOnMe • 3y

Wtf I literally predicted this exact scenario 20 years ago????

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 592 ⬇️

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X_Lee • 3y

u/notaPEIP are you seeing this?

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 577 ⬇️

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WitchlessWeb • 3y

YTA! That kills people!!

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ -1.5k ⬇️

[cerys-scribbles]

sweet on the tongue

Halsin x f!Reader A bit of fluff and yearning Wordcount: 1.5k

You always looked over the abandoned wagons and backpacks. 

It was an old habit, born of a time when coin was scarce. You’ve always had an eye for shiny things - the gleam of jewelry, the graceful curve of a gem, and the glitter of a bottle. You never knew when you might find a small treasure.

Some of the others mocked you for it. Astarion, in particular, seemed to enjoy the sight of you rummaging through crates. “Your pack is so full you’ll have to find a rothe to carry it,” he called, that crooked grin tugging at his mouth. 

“I can carry my own pack,” you replied, with a dismissive wave. “And what do you care?”

“Merely concerned for your posture, darling. If you become a hunched over crone in your thirties, it would be a tragedy.” 

You snorted. “That’s rich, coming from the one with the outdated vocabulary and the white hair.”

He placed a hand over his heart in mock indignation. “It’s not white, it’s silver.”

“Children,” called Gale. “You’re going to get left behind if you dawdle.”

The others had continued on. The path wound through the mountains, toward the Githyanki creche. Lae’zel was far ahead, her long strides carrying her forward with a grim determination. It was no wonder she was eager; the prospect of ridding yourself of the tadpole was an intriguing one. But even so, you felt the pull to pick through every crate. 

Your diligence was rewarded when you found a gleam of gold tucked within a sack. You pulled it free. It was a jar.

“Come on!” called Astarion, and you hastily shoved the jar into your own pack. You would look at it more closely later. 

*

It was hours after, once camp had been set up, that you investigated your finds. You picked through the small trinkets, sorting through which ones could be sold and which ones discarded. You were so single-minded that you didn’t notice the smells of food or call to dinner. It was only when someone stood over you that you looked up. 

Halsin towered over you. The sunset gave his hair a golden cast, and he was smiling. “You’ve been busy,” he said mildly.

You sat back, only now feeling the ache in your lower back. “Oh. I was distracted.” You gestured at the piles of trinkets, feeling mildly embarrassed. Would he think it was silly? “Did I miss dinner?”

“I set some aside for you.” Halsin put the plate down on a fallen log. It looked like a surprisingly tasty stew. “It’s a little cold.” 

“I don’t mind,” you said. “Thanks for bringing it.” It shouldn’t have surprised you that Halsin was the one to notice you weren’t eating; he was observant in camp, quiet and watchful. His tent was pitched along the outskirts. Part of you wondered if it was because he wished to remain near nature or to make himself the first line of defense should anyone attack camp. It was likely both. 

He squatted down, eyeing your finds. “May I ask what it is you’re doing?” He reached out, gently sifting through the knotted chains and one half of an earring.

You flushed. “I just… you might have noticed I tend to pick things up.”

“I had noticed, yes,” he said, a touch of dry humor in his voice. But there was no mockery to it. “Do you sell them?” 

You shrugged. “It helps. I can buy a little food, maybe weapons or medicine for camp. We can hunt, of course, but we still need things. And it’s not as though we have a noble patron.” You snorted. “Well, we do have Wyll, but I know he’d protest that title.”

“He would,” agreed Halsin. “He seems far more happy being the Blade of Frontiers rather than a duke’s son.” He tilted his head, gaze flicking over the assortment of trinkets. “Can I help?”

“I mean,” you said, “you don’t have to.”

“I want to.” His gaze met yours and you felt another flush rise to your cheeks. “It’s better to have something to do with one’s hands.”

You both began to work, untangling chains of necklaces and sorting through your findings. There were coins from several cities, jewelry that was junk and one piece that might sell, along with forgotten letters. You set those aside. “I’ll give them to a messenger or the like if we reach Baldur’s Gate,” you said, when you caught Halsin’s eye. “Maybe those letters will reach their destination.”

“That’s kind of you, to carry them without any hope of reward.” 

You gave him a little shrug. “It’s not as though they weigh very much.”

“Still,” he said. “You have a good heart.”

Your cheeks burned even hotter. Halsin disarmed you in a way that none of the other companions could. There were no deceptions, no games to played, no secrets to ferret out. Halsin was simply… Halsin. He was undemanding and kind. 

And all right. He was gorgeous—you’d admit that to yourself. You’d had a few fantasies of him picking you up and kissing you, but you tried to tamp them down. You didn’t want your desires to leak into your conversations and make him uncomfortable. You were friends and that was more than enough.

Finally, you pulled out the jar. You had almost forgotten about it. “What is that?” asked Halsin. 

You held it up to the fading sunlight. “Preserves, I think. Whether or not they’re edible… well, I’m not sure how we find out.”

Halsin chuckled. “Opening it would be the first step.”

It took a knife and a fair bit of prying to get the jar open, but the moment you did, your mouth watered. 

Raspberries floated in a thick, golden liquid. They had been preserved in honey. The sweet scent floated out of the jar and you swallowed. 

“Well, well,” said Halsin. “A pleasing find, if my opinion matters.”

You remembered what he had said when you tried to get to know him better: that he enjoyed sweet things. “You can have it,” you said, holding out the jar. 

He shook his head, a smile on his lips. “We’ll share it.”

You didn’t have a spoon, but Halsin had a few carved ones in his pack. He unearthed it and you gasped. It was intricate and beautiful—a woven pattern made up the handle. “It’s gorgeous.” You knew he whittled, but this was a work of art.

He looked pleased but embarrassed. “I’ve had much practice. It’s yours, if you like it.”

You dipped the spoon into the honeyed raspberries. Then you popped the spoon into your mouth. Tart sweetness spilled across your tongue. You closed your eyes and moaned softly. Perhaps you should have found a loaf of bread or something else to cut the cloying sweetness, but you did not care. It had been weeks since you enjoyed anything so luxurious. 

 “Oh, it’s amazing,” you said, holding out the jar to Halsin. “Try some.”

His gaze was not on the jar—but on you. “You have some,” he said quietly, holding out his hand. “May I?”

You didn’t know what you were agreeing to, but even so you nodded. You trusted him. 

His thumb—warm and callused—slid across your chin. A small tendril of honey had stuck there. “Oh,” you said, laughing a little. “That’s embarrassing.”

“Not at all.” He licked the honey from his thumb—and you could have sworn his pupils dilated as he looked at you. “It tastes all the sweeter.”

Heat churned in your stomach. You knew you should break that gaze, look away before this became all too intimate, but you didn’t want to. Your breaths quickened, and you thought you saw his gaze fall to your mouth. Was he going to kiss you? At once, your lips ached for it. You needed his touch more than you needed air or warmth or even a cure. 

His fingers brushed your cheek. But before he could utter a word, a voice rang out from across camp. 

“I can see you eating something over there!” called Astarion. “If you get sick from fare you found along the road, I am not carrying your pack.”

The mood was broken in an instant. You looked down, half-wondering if you had imagined the moment. 

“You won’t have to,” called Halsin sounding as good-natured as ever. “I’ll carry it for her.”

You swallowed. Perhaps you hadn’t imagined it, after all. 

End

[seelestia]

— 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐄, 𝐂'𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐄!

SUMMARY. some headcanons about sumeru men as your boyfriend in the modern ages. (teyvat who? we only know earth.)

CHARACTERS. tighnari, cyno, alhaitham, kaveh, scaramouche/wanderer.

GENRE. fluff, crack, modern au.

CW. lowercase intended, use of pet names, written before kaveh and wanderer's release, scara is referred to as kunikuzushi.

THOUGHTS. this format is a bit different than my regular ones, but i hope this is still able to tickle a little laugh out of someone <3

✰ masterlist.

☆ TIGHNARI!

boyfie!tighnari whose unofficial job is to cook meals for the both of you; he actually doesn't mind, but what worries him the most is if you step into the kitchen — unless you manage to prove the existence of your culinary skills to him, that is. (#y/nramsay??)

"nari, i'm home!" you chirp, closing the front door behind you. the smell of something tasty wafts through the air and you peek into the kitchen like a curious kitten.

immediately, you are greeted by the sight of tighnari at the stove with your favorite apron on (yes, it has "kiss the cook" on it but tighnari would throw a ladle at you). it doesn't take long for him to notice your gaze lingering on him. tighnari doesn't even have to look back as he hums, "welcome home."

you lean against the wall with an impish grin on your face, "so... what's cookin', good lookin'?"

your boyfriend shoots you an unimpressed look, "...go take a shower, (y/n)."

boyfie!tighnari who combs your hair for you when you're half asleep in the morning. he takes care of his hair very well, so he might as well help you while he is at it. tighnari reasons that he does this because you look too sleepy to function normally… but maybe, he just likes admiring your sleepy face. (that trail of dry drool, though, not so much.)

"hey, hey, stay still," tighnari huffs an exasperated sigh when you start to lean forward in your sleepy state. he puts a hand on your forehead, stopping you from moving any further. "i can't brush your hair properly if you keep nodding off," he shakes his head.

you mumble, "so... tired..." his eyes soften slightly at the sound of your light-headed tone, "yes, i can see that. now, stay still."

boyfie!tighnari who tells you lots of unnecessary botany facts that you don't really ask for, but he looks cute nerding out, so you just listen without a clue.

"unnecessary? you might need these facts in the future," tighnari frowns, clearly taking offense when you throw his botany facts into the "unnecessary" category.

you snort, "yeah, for what?"

"for the possibility of me disowning you and leaving you to fend for yourself in the jungle one day," he says that so flatly that you almost do a double take.

he sounds like he's been planning that for years but he is just joking, obviously.

boyfie!tighnari who chides you when you get sick. no, he isn't mad, he is just very concerned... and disappointed. so, you get a nagging boyfriend with a mix of both.

"...are you mad at me?" you ask through sniffles and a runny nose. "no," tighnari replied as he places a neatly folded and soaked cloth on your forehead.

"you look mad," you point out with a pouty look. "no, i'm not," he responds with that dry tone again, trying to hush you by gently shoving a thermometer into your mouth.

"...i'm sorry," you mutter.

"if you are, then don't do that again. i thought i told you that—" and off into a ramble he goes. (in his defense, he cares for you so it only makes for him to worry... and nag like a mom.)

☆ CYNO!

boyfie!cyno who clings to you like a koala when you wake up. you're like a source of comforting warmth that he can't help but snuggle. who would've thought that a scary fellow like him can be seen literally melting into you?

"cyno, i can't move," you utter quietly. as much as you'd like for him to cling onto you longer, one has to rise and shine eventually.

"...sorry," your boyfriend mumbles into your back, slightly muffled but audible and coherent enough. great, now you feel bad for telling him that.

boyfie!cyno who leans against you when he plays a game on his console. or, have you sit close to him when he is playing a card game because you're his "lucky charm".

"are you sure you'd win if i stay here?" you lay your head on his shoulder, peering into the console he is playing in his hands.

cyno nods without tearing his eyes off the screen, "even if i lose, i still want you here, anyway."

(is he... flirting? does he even realize he is flirting? yeah, he probably doesn't and he's cute for that.)

boyfie!cyno who puts little candies in your pocket for you to munch on when you feel bored.

you can't help the sneaky grin that makes its way onto your lips as you ask, "are you giving me these so i'll think of you when i eat them?"

this catches cyno by surprise. he almost splutters into a fit of flustered coughs, but he manages to hold his composure. "well, i-if you want to," he says meekly.

well, sort of managed to, anyway.

boyfie!cyno who scowls back at anyone looking at you the wrong way. scary bodyguard privilege, maybe?

"cyno, what's wrong?"

you raise a confused eyebrow at the stern expression on your boyfriend's face. he is looking at something behind you, but that deadly glint shines in his eyes already speaks volumes.

his arm sneaks around your waist to pull you closer, "nothing. somebody was just staring at you."

is he possessive or just protective, who knows? perhaps, both.

☆ ALHAITHAM!

boyfie!alhaitham who sneaks glances at you from over his book when he is reading. he denies it, though.

"you really think you're sneaky, huh? i can see you looking at me from all the way over here," you laugh.

with how much time alhaitham has spent rolling his eyes, you would've thought he lost them by now. but your lover doesn't look ready to give up.

"are you sure you weren't just seeing things? i was too immersed in the book, if you haven't noticed," he responds to your daring statement (which contains the truth, actually).

you hum sarcastically, "sure, sure."

"think whatever you want," there he goes rolling his eyes, again — but he is fooling no one with that little smile on his lips.

boyfie!alhaitham who predicts the plotlines of every single movie when you two have a movie night.

"it's getting too quiet. i reckon it's probably time... and..."

you are quite literally spooked out of your mind, holding onto the pillow in your chest like it's a lifeline. but alhaitham can't seem to relate; with the way he leans back to take in the scene on the screen, he looks more bored than anything.

"—there goes the jumpscare. i saw this coming from twenty minutes ago."

you scrunch your nose in annoyance and throw him a light scowl, "can you, at least, pretend to be the least bit shocked?"

alhaitham scoffs before letting out the fakest noise of fear, if you've ever heard one. "...ahh. there, are you happy now?"

"this is why i hate you."

"what a roundabout way to say i love you, i appreciate it."

boyfie!alhaitham who acts irritated when you want to use his shoulder to sleep, but he lets you anyway, albeit he does so very grumpily. (indirect reference to a previous work i wrote!)

the weight of your head on his shoulder doesn't bother him that much, but he can't have you getting used to this. certainly not.

alhaitham sighs tiredly, "my shoulder isn't a pillow, you know?" you nod, yet you don't move an inch as you reply, "i know."

"i assume you also know that neck pillows exist? and for a very cheap price?"

"uh-huh."

he almost wants to push you off and throw a blanket over your head. not that it'll shut you up nor would he actually do that, but a man can dream about peace.

"well, if you know, then act like it."

"no, ignorance is bliss."

alhaitham hates that philosophy but he likes you; so, he doesn't really have much of a choice, does he?

"you little... ugh, fine."

boyfie!alhaitham who quizzes you on random facts. he doesn't expect you to get them all right, of course; let's just call it "sharing is caring" but with the concept of knowledge.

why are you even subjected to this? you've asked alhaitham this before, but he tells you every time that this is just his definition of 'fun'. (and that if you love him, you'll indulge. talk about affectionate blackmail.)

"...do i look like albert einstein to you?" you gape at him, crossing your arms against your chest in disbelief. how are you supposed to answer that isaac newton level question?

"if you do, then i wouldn't have asked," he smiles. a smile that you don't think you feel relief upon seeing, you can just sense that there is a hint of sadism somewhere in his expression.

"what do i get from this?" you are ready to whine your way out of his little game, but his answer to your question has your interest marginally piqued.

alhaitham affirms, "anything you want."

"...a kiss?"

"no."

that is alhaitham's way of saying yes; well, granted that you can somewhat answer the question, anyway.

"—and don't you even think about using google," he adds. darn it, looks like you're not gonna get that kiss.

☆ KAVEH!

boyfie!kaveh who just feels his chest fluttering, his stomach exploding butterflies, his legs weakening every time you call him "your boyfriend". (he is the biggest simp for you, naturally.)

"kav, you're so old-fashioned for liking that type of sappy stuff," you stifle a laugh behind your hand. kaveh feigns a dramatic gasp, "ah! old-fashioned? i am not." he speaks again, but with a sulky hint to his tone this time, "being called yours and calling you mine are not sappy, is it not the truth?"

okay, he looks proud for saying that.

"flatterer," you roll your eyes. but then, you grin wide as you add, "my flatterer."

and only by doing that, kaveh swears you just shot an arrow through his heart. oh my gosh, you're so unfair, but you're also so cute that he wants to kiss you and smother you and— ahem, moving on.

boyfie!kaveh who always tells you that you're his only last thread of sanity whenever he deals with alhaitham.

"can you believe it?! that was what he said to me, word for word, verbatim! that jerk, i'll hide his work phone where he can't ever find it."

"good luck on that. he is about the same height as you, babe."

"[y/n], my love, you were supposed to be on my side!"

(okay, maybe you just wanted to tease him a little but god, that pout on his lips is beautiful.)

boyfie!kaveh who immediately keels over the spot every time you wear his clothes. how you look so adorable, how you smell like him... his one weakness.

"oh. my. days."

standing in the kitchen and that is the first thing you heard. not even a "hello" or a "good morning, love". you turn around, the shirt you stole from your boyfriend's corner in the closet on your figure, with a hand on your hip.

you frown confusedly, "what? what happened?" why, did the toothpaste run out again? you are about to ask until you see kaveh pointing a finger at you like a madman.

"my clothes. you're wearing my clothes," he stammers dramatically. you tilt your head questioningly, "...yes, and?"

"what do you mean, and? c'mere—"

boyfie!kaveh who kisses your hand as a greeting, as a habit, and as a hobby. he denies it but he really is into that old-fashioned thingy, huh?

"that tickles," you giggle when kaveh's lips brush against your knuckles. "a fitting greeting for my beloved, of course," he plants another exaggerated kiss on the back of your hand.

"if you like my hand so much, you might as well put a ring on it, then."

"wha— wait, did you just— did you just beat me to it? are you proposing to me?!"

☆ KUNIKUZUSHI!

boyfie!kunikuzushi who always gets blushy-angry whenever you compliment him for literally anything.

you already know that your boyfriend is a man of many talents, if only he were willing to show them more often. this time, though; you somehow manage to persuade him into being the cook for tonight. don't ask how, you have your ways.

you bring a spoonful of food to your mouth, "mm, kuni, this actually tastes pretty good!"

you hear a gasp, an offended one.

"what do you mean, actually? of course, it'd taste good," he shoots you a glare, holding back an insulted snarl in the back of his throat.

"pfft, okay, okay. you should cook more, embrace your malewife side."

"my what— i will throw this plate at you."

yep, totally worth it.

boyfie!kunikuzushi who suffers because kids love flocking around him. he can't believe he is doing this, but he has no choice but to send you a desperate look that says "help".

this sight in front of you right now is far beyond priceless. seeing your grumpy lover being surrounded by enthusiastic children tugging on his sleeve is too good, too good.

you wonder what exactly attracted them to him? he isn't really someone who looks welcoming — but eitherway, you are enjoying this.

way more than you should, actually.

"d'aww, kuni, the kids love you!"

"...i wanna go home," he deadpans at you lifelessly while the children continue to jump around him.

boyfie!kunikuzushi who snorts when you accidentally hurt yourself but he still cares, at least. (he finds amusement in your clumsiness, one hundred percent.)

"so, i wasn't paying attention and walked into a glass door today—"

"pfft."

"...did you just laugh at my pain?"

"no. anyway, let me see the bruise. put some ice on it."

(at least, he cares.)

boyfie!kunikuzushi who grumbles every time you give him affection like an automated puppet (pun intended).

"ugh, stop doing that," kunikuzushi mumbles through gritted teeth; but not in a hostile way, he looks more... grouchy than anything. as per usual, of course.

you're merely holding his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, he looks annoyed. but the funny thing is that he is barely resisting your affection at all.

you poke at him jokingly, "what? i'm just squeezing your hand. not like i was trying to squeeze the life out of you."

"it's annoying..." he scoffs before trailing off into a quieter voice, "do it again."

(is this what they call hypocrisy at its best?)

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

✰ TAGLIST: @meimeimeirin @hcikazu @tsuk4sa-yug1 @catcze @semi-orangeapple @yuuki4646 @d-a-r-k-s-w-a-n @dearmarri @omgscaramouche @coquettemaiden @lemontum — [ bolded names are unable to be tagged + register here to be a part of my taglist! ]

© SEELESTIA, nov 2022. do not repost, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own.

[wonijinjin]

happy birthday

author’s note: a little fun fact about me, my birthday is actually on svt’s debut date, may 26th, so it is always an exceptionally special day for me hehe

synopsis: you expected a mystery cake, but your thoughtful boyfriend surprised you even more.

word count: 0.6k | genre: fluff, humour/crack | pairing: wonwoo x gn! reader | warnings: reader is shorter than wonwoo, mentions of cake and sweets, one curse word

“what flavour is the cake?” you asked excitedly when you spotted wonwoo with the big box upon exiting the bright doors of the bakery. the two of you came to pick up your pre placed order of a surprise mystery cake for your birthday, since you wanted to have a little fun this year with it. “i won’t tell you, you will have to guess it.” wonwoo replied mischievously, a little smirk evident on his face. “come on, don’t be such a meanie on my birthday!” you huffed to which he burst out in giggles and stepped towards you, towering over you. “sorry sweetheart, no can do, you will have to wait.” he whispered into your hair while kissing the crown of your head. “but i am so curious!” you pressed further with puppy eyes looking up at him, really trying to see if you could make his defenses crumble. “nuh uh don’t give me the sad puppy eyes, i won’t ruin the fun because someone here is a little curious.” he stated, determined to keep his mouth shut for the time being. “you are no fun.” you said while sulking and walking towards the car in the parking lot. you could tell he felt a bit bad about it, although he was absolutely right for trying to keep the promise he made to you before getting the cake, in which he swore to keep it a secret until you got home. when arriving next to the vehicle he realised he had no way of getting the container into the car by himself since his hands were full. “could you please open the car door for me?” he asked while still balancing the big cake in his hands, trying to avoid tripping in his own long legs. “tell me the flavour and i will.” you bargained even though you knew it was in vain; your precious boyfriend was way too good at keeping secrets. “fine, i will open it myself then.” as soon as he put the box on top of the car to free his hands you didn’t hesitate for a single moment and grabbed the sweet treat, opening the container to see the round ball of joy in its full glory (which by the way definitely looked too familiar, just like the flavour you loved), and to have a swipe from the delicious frosting on it. you almost managed to raise your coated finger to your mouth when a firm grip on your wrist made you freeze. “you are so bad today. what did i tell you about waiting?” wonwoo questioned with a serious look on his face; you didn’t dare move, afraid that he was actually mad, however your doubts faded away quickly when he started shaking his head in disbelief with the expression of amusement. you had a genius idea to get back at him and with a swift motion the mentioned frosting landed on his nose, looking cuter as ever. “you look exactly like a little cat, baby.” you laughed while he tried to get rid of the sweet coat and eventually tasted it. “hmm, not bad.” he smiled, satisfied with the taste. you did the same, confirming the fact that it was indeed tasty, and your favourite flavour suspiciously enough. “i wonder how the mystery cake ended up being exactly what i said i wanted before deciding on going with the flow.” you wondered out loud. “do you mind explaining it, my dear boyfriend?” you stood with hands on your hips, a playful glint in your eyes challenging him to reply. he shrugged his shoulders. “what can i say, you must be one hell of a lucky person sweetheart.” he grinned while giving you a sweet kiss on the lips. “happy birthday.”

[alienpossession]

As you feel the creeping ice-cold sensation inching closer to reach your brain, your mind wandered to various moment of your life. The celebration of your promotion with your coworkers and boss

The last leave you took and the quality time you have with your niece and nephews

The moment when he laid his eyes on you for the first time, just a couple hours ago.

You tried to go home after a tiring day at work in the Ministry of Defense. You luckily got a seat inside your train ride, but then this guy suddenly stood right in front of you and practically towered over you with his intense look and inviting sleeveless tank. You have no idea at that time, but he already decided that you are his next target, and as you stepped down from the train, he followed you like a stalker, all your steps matched by him as he headed to the toilet following your lead. That was when you should have rejected his advance, but the way his pit seemingly so smooth yet so tasty at that time made you weak, and he got you hooked to him within no time.

That leads you to this predicament, as you're about to lose control over your body for good to an invading extraterrestial forces that possessed a very sexy human being that is currently pumping you full of his man meat. You should've been more cautious, but it's not like the alien played fair with the intense pheremone it produced that made you weak in the knees and couldn't think rationally, you literally dove your head straight to sniff his pits in a public bathroom.

As your eyes went back to normal and the coldness overtake you, he slides his dick out and with ease, you push him away. But it's not you who push him away, it's something else in you that makes the movement.

"Well, thank God I don't have to stay as you, dum-dum. Fuck, this guy is like.....multiple times brighter than you LOL,"

The muscular guy can only looked at you with a rather flat expression. The confidence, the dominance, the deviousness, all seemingly drained out from his system. It's like he's just a muscular shell of its former self while all of those trait transplanted into you. Then, he said,

"Happy to help, Master,"

"Yeah, glad you're big enough to hold this dude down. He's also quite fit himself, you know? Lucky you stink and his mind is fried. You'll be helpful for another takeover if it's ever necessary. Pleased with this one though,"

"Your happiness is my pleasure, Master,"

"Well, if that's the case---" The Master grabbed a fistful of his loyal obedient puppet's hair and then forced him to kneel, "suck on my pecs and tell me what you think of it?"

[my-love-is-sunlight]

Love recipe

Sanji x gardener!reader

fluff!!!!!!!! Stablished relationship, gn reader, from my gardener!reader series but can be read as a stand alone, I recommend this

Word count: 1.2k

Summary: In which you find Sanji’s cook notebook

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

An endless sea of boxes filled your room in the Sunny, when had you accumulated so much stuff in your time with the strawhats? You didn’t know

You were the kind to keep everything, even the tiniest things held so much memories and meaning that you just couldn’t leave them behind

But you were starting to regret it

A week ago you and Sanji had finally decided to tell the crew that you were dating

After being met with all of your crewmates groans of defeat as they handed a couple berries to Nami you realized maybe you were a little more obvious than you thought

Regardless they were happy and a little relieved that you two had finally settled down

“So is the dumb cook finally moving out? We are tired of you leaving every night to our quarters,” Zoro was quick to ask you looking dead in your bashful eyes, red blush rushing to your face

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” Sanji screamed at the swordsman in your defense

As much as you tried to brush the matter off or deny the accusations everyone had witnessed how at very ungodly hours of the night you’d slip into Sanjis bed to sleep soundly and turning back to your own at sunrise thinking no one noticed

“OR you can move in with us!” Your Captain chimed in but his idea was immediately shot down by your boyfriend

So he moved in your room, something you were happy about but right now, as you choose what to keep, throw away or store in boxes to make space for Sanji, was giving you a huge headache.

You sat cross legged in the middle of your floor between boxes looking like cat in hiding as Sanji walked in with a couple of more boxes in hand, settling them on the ground glancing at your form and smiling in endearment

“Almost done my love” he spoke up making you bend backwards and smiling at him

“Let me get up and help you with the rest”

“Absolutely not” something about you even lifting a finger in his presence always made him shiver, there was no way he was gonna allow you carry his heavy boxes, he knew you were capable, he just didn’t wanted you to

It was the third time you had offered to help him so you just gave up and giggled before returning to your task as the blonde went back to make yet another trip from the boys quarters to your room

You let out a defeated sigh as you finally finished up choosing everything that you decided to get rid off. As you got up with the box you tripped over the others that surrounded you making you lose balance, in an attempt to save yourself from a nasty fall, one of Sanjis boxes opened and some of his belongings scattered across the floor

“Dammit” carefully you place your box aside as you hastily take your boyfriend’s personal stuff and return them into the box, not wanting Sanji to think you were snooping round his personal belongings

As you delicately put his box aside, a notebook lays on the ground that you seemed to have missed to put away, you take it but instead of storing it, your hands explore the markings on the cover

‘Sanjis cookbook’ it read in his neat handwriting, you smile to yourself before slowly opening it, the notebook was well loved and you didn’t wanted it to break apart at your touch. The pages were filled with different recipes the cook had came up with during the years, it was sweet how noticeable was the change in his notes when he joined the strawhats, suddenly more intricate and lively dishes appearing on its pages. It was obvious how much he enjoyed being the crews cook, this was a trait of him you always had loved and admired. The cook had created dishes, drinks and pastries inspired by every crew member, some just being fun experimental ones, while others attended to their nutritional needs

Some really tasty meat recipes made for Luffy

An orangy strong drink for Nami

Boring rice-balls with a hint of sake for Zoro

Coffee infused pastries for Robin

Chicken a lá Soda for Franky

Taroyaki for Usopp

Sweet cotton candy for Chopper

Curry for Brook

Some of them with your name on it eventually show up but were all about either your diet or changing some ingredients up in meals you didn’t quite like or would upset your stomach, even your favorite vegetable soup was in there with a marking on it with your name. Expectancy bubbled in your stomach as you waited for dishes made not for you, but inspired by you to appear, but as you kept on reading the pages of everyone’s meals except yours a frown plastered on your lips

“Oh” you thought, maybe you weren’t good enough to be Sanji’s muse. Of course you knew he loved you endlessly, he would assure you everyday and you’ll see it in different ways he had to tell you ‘I love you’ without even speaking it.

The way he would patiently show you how to cut ingredients in the kitchen so you could help him and spend quality time, or the names he’d call you that sweetened your days, how he would always be on your call and foot for whatever you wished or needed, the dreamy look you’d spark on his eyes and even just the full on attention he’d offer you, as if you were the only thing in the world

But still, one would think you’ll at least have one dish dedicated to you after all the love he exuded in your presence

As you gave up and started to close the notebook, you saw a page near the end with your name on it, making your eyes grow wide in joy. You open it to find not a dish, but a whole different section of the notebook just for you, the cook had even drawn tiny hearts after your name

Pink dusted your face and a bright smile grew on your lips as you admired the dishes Sanji had crafted with such love and dedication, recognizing some of them and even remembering how he had asked you to taste test them in the past. You were moved, over the moon wasn’t enough of an expression to understand how you were feeling, no one had ever shown this much appreciation for you, small tears peaked at the corner of your eyes of the fullness you felt. How could you ever return such a gesture? Such love declaration that you didn’t even were supposed to know about?

You return the notebook to its rightful place before standing back on your feet and taking your box towards the door that slowly opened revealing your tall blonde handsome of a boyfriend with the last box

“Sorry it took so long sunlight, Luffy asked me for another snack and I ha-“ he was cut off by the biggest warmest hug he had ever received in his life, dropping the box as your hands found a spot on his neck and your lips pecked his before hiding your face in his neck, your feet tip toeing so you could reach

The action took Sanji by surprise, making him blush and stand frozen in place at your sudden affection that he still found difficult to come around, always being used to be the more affectionate one until you showed up and made him know how much loved he deserved back

“Is everything alright my love?”

“Yes darling, everything’s amazing”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Omg they’re back I’m so happy!!!! Hope you enjoy and remember you can request anything you wanna see about these two or just anything One Piece related technically