#in other news i'm finally done with house renovations

[tipsyleaf]

I’m going to go insane if Tumblr scraps one of my ask’s again. Gonna reveal my identity at this point. ☹️ (You wish.)

BUT OH MY GOODNESS YES YES YES, A THIRD BABY IS POSSIBLE!!!

I personally feel like Violet would be around 13-15, and Cecilia 9-10. (You can adjust with the age gap etc.) So they’d be a little older now, barely teenagers now.

Of course, the pregnancy was an unexpected thing. Both you and Leon never thought the two of you would have another baby, but nonetheless, the two of you had to deal with the consequences of your horny actions. 🙄

Violet and Cecilia would absolutely hate the two of you at first. Big sisters? Hell no. They’d literally run out of the living room yelling and slam the door to their separate rooms in frustrations. But what could the two of you do? Just wait and let them get over it…

At first, it was such a weird thing to them…Seeing their mom with a belly…Ew. And how Leon would give you double the attention made them get the ick, they were already used to y’all acting like horny teenagers but oh my god.

But alas, as soon as they met their little baby brother, oh, it was like it was the greatest thing in the world! The two of them would constantly beg to hold him, fighting over who gets to unfreeze the milk from the fridge and make him a bottle.

They’d both play with him, volunteer to even take him off of your hands for the day. (Which never lasted because they regret it as soon as he has a stinky diaper.) The two would also very much criticize his outfit choices. Every single onesie and little outfit you put on him had to be approved by his big sisters.

I also feel like they’d come up to you in the middle of target with a bunch of baby toys and clothes saying that he’d absolutely love them, and you just had to sign and give in.

- Anon! 🎀

Tumblr has been a Cunt to me the past few days with asks. I'm about to delete my whole account if it doesn't get fixed (I'm being dramatic.)

Leon and his wife would even be shocked they could have babies still... Not unhappy but you'd look him dead in the eyes and tell him "I'm getting my tubes tied or you're getting a vasectomy. No more kids."

Violetta (12) would definitely want nothing to do with the baby at first. She's almost a teenager and her parents having another kid at their DECREPIT AGE?!

So Embarrassing 🙄

Cecilia (8), still very young and impressionable would probably just be following her sisters lead but secretly be excited to finally have some to boss around.

But Violet (being the older pain in the ass sister she is) would probably get to Lia and drill it into her head that middle kids get forgotten and oh nooo she's the middle child

Make her sister cry, get grounded and her phone taken away for that.

But once their mother starts showing, Lia comes around immediately. Cuddles up with mommy on the couch whenever she can just to be close to the baby. Violets still super hesitant and not happy about it. Especially every time her dad shows you affection and like... Bucket loads of affection.

He missed seeing you pregnant. That pretty glow you'd always exude even just existing in his presence. And your cute pregnant waddle! He could go on for hours how much he loves when you're pregnant. This is a completely new experience for Lia, Violet hardly remembers what happened when you were originally pregnant with Lia . She was way too young to remember.

Time comes around when you find out the babies sex, Leon fully preparing for a 3 for 3 on the princess counter.

It's a boy... He's devastated at first. He really wanted another girl. But you on the other hand are relieved. You wanted a little boy. Not that you don't love your daughters it just be nice to have a son too. Eventually he's okay, especially after you tell him this means you need to have more renovations done to the house so there's room for the new baby. That means a new room to make into a nursery, something they didn't get to do with Lia but this time around they will.

Closer to the due date you start going over names for the baby. Leon suggesting Marvin as a middle name, you know the context of it and accept it immediately. Everyone starts throwing names around, Violet staying quiet. Lia suggests calling him Puppy...

"That's not a name honey." You chuckle at her suggestion when Violet looks at Leon.

"What's your middle name Dad?"

"Scott." Violet looks between her parents, shrugging.

"Scott sounds good to me."

You and Leon look at each other and smile. Agreeing it's a good name.

Time comes around to have the baby. Violets still against the kid, Lia's bouncing off the walls excited to meet her baby brother. You give birth and the girls are allowed in the room finally.

Both girls look mostly like a good mixture of the two of you... Leon could never deny Scott as his son (he never would) because the kid looks exactly like him. Dusty Brown hair from his younger years, cute little nose, big blue eyes and a butter ball of a chunky baby. He's absolutely precious.

Lia gets help from Leon to hold him since she's still younger. Violet keeps her distance until she walks over to check on you and make sure you aren't too tuckered out. Leon basically traps Violet between a chair and her only escape, offering her to hold her brother if she sits down. She agrees just to get this over with.

She has little Scott in her arms. He looks up at her smiling with those big blue eyes... 3. 2. 1...

She's crying. Won't stop talking about how cute he is or how much she loves him already. You and Leon share a look before he tries taking the baby back.

"He needs skin to skin time with mommy." She whines, reluctantly handing him over.

After that day you basically have two live in nanny's. Both girls wanting to help.

Unless it's diaper related...

[blossomingmoonlight]

Not so innocent

@sm-tlov-r I hope you like it!

John Nolan x fem!virgin!reader

Summary: Reader is John's rookie and is tired of having the flirtations so she comes over to his newly renovated house to get a "tour".

Warnings: NSWF, mdni, making out, fingering, handjob, oral, vaginal, age gap, virgin reader

Word count: 2499

After your long shift at Mid-Wilshire you came home quite worked up. Why? Because a certain hot T.O had you all heated up. Everytime he looked at you or touched you innocently, it made heat pool in your belly. Not to mention he seemed to flirt with you, you thought it was your imagination but every single compliment felt like he was trying to tell you something. You wanted him so badly, every day was torture. But of course it’s not allowed to be in a relationship with your superior and the fact that there was quite the age gap but that made it even more tempting. So why were you after your shower in a cute dress that showed off your cleavage, your favorite perfume applied, a cute makeup look and hair all done, sexiest lingerie on, driving in your car to a certain John Nolan's house? You didn’t want to think about it, all you could think about is him, his touch, his cologne, his hands and his eyes, all so magnetic. 

What were you even going to say to him? ‘Hey officer Nolan would you mind fucking me?’ No, that's just insane…or is it? You weren’t sure what you were going to say to him, all you knew is that you had a plan. A plan to finally be in his sheets. Even though you’ve never had sex before, it never left your mind around John. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you came near his house. He had offered you to see his new renovated place before but you were busy, so this was the perfect excuse. You parked your car behind his truck in the driveway and got out to walk to his door. With a deep breath you knocked.

John opened the door and smiled when he saw you. “(Y/n) what a surprise! Would you like to come in?” He greeted you in his usual cheery voice. “Hi John! I hope it’s not a bad time but I thought I would check out your new place, I finally had the time tonight.” You smiled as you walked past him to go inside. “Well that’s great. Let me give you a tour.” He smiled now taking you around the house to tell you all about what he had changed, how he came up with the furnishing plan, how many times he hung up the mirror you just walked past and of course the room you were interested in, the bedroom. “Wow John you have really outdone yourself, the place is amazing. It’s crazy how similar our tastes are when it comes to interior design.” You smiled while feeling the fabric of his sheets.

He looked you up and down when you looked away, secretly checking you out. “So do you still live alone here?” You decided to ‘casually’ ask. “Yes I do but Ben sometimes visits as well as some of our coworkers so there’s plenty of people around.” He chuckled. “That’s great, I'm happy for you.” You said while giving him a smile. “Thank you, you’re too kind.” He responded. You didn’t realize it but you two all of a sudden stood closer to each other. “Might I say that that's a beautiful dress (Y/n). Great color on you.” John complimented. And you totally noticed the way he secretly checked you out. “Thank you, you look great as well.” You returned the compliment, hoping this would go further then your usual ‘casual flirtation’. “Really? I’m just wearing sweats and a shirt.” He laughed. “I know but you always look good.” You said, a bit softer, trying to test the waters a bit to see how far you could go.

“Oh really? Well that’s very nice of you.” He said his smile fading a bit as he took a step closer. “Did you do your hair?” He asked while grabbing one of your curls. “Yes I did, do you like it?” You asked softly, looking up in his blue eyes and giving him a smile. “Yea- Yeah it’s…really pretty.” He smiled, letting go of your hair and awkwardly putting his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. You noticed the way he had a bit of a blush on him and you knew your plan was working, although he did seem to hold himself back, so you decided to give him a little push. 

You placed your hand on his chest. “It’s a really nice shirt you know.” You said, still holding his gaze. “T- Thank you, I uhm…” You started to softly lower your hand a bit stopping at the waistband of his sweatpants. “I got it from uhm…target, I think… or maybe ama- amazon.” He mumbled, you lowered your hand a bit more, right above his already hard dick. “(Y/n) wh- what are you doing?” He said so softly it almost came out as a whisper. “Do you want me to stop?” You asked him. “No.” That was all you needed to massage his clothed erection. He started to moan and put his hands on your hips, pulling you close against his chest. Then you removed your hand from him, bringing it to his cheek instead, pulling him down a bit so you could finally put your lips on his. 

He kissed you back passionately and gripped your hips harder. You moved your arms around his neck. Then he moved his hands on your ass instead, gripping you tightly against his hard on, moving you against him. You moaned against his lips allowing him to slip his tongue inside your mouth, as his tongue touched yours you gripped his hair making him groan in your mouth. The wetness in your underwear now really starts to pool. You gripped his shirt and removed your lips from his for a moment to pull it off of him. Throwing the shirt on the ground you looked at his hot dad bod, it was exactly how you imagined it, a bit of a belly but still very muscled with a bit of hair, just way too fucking hot.

He started to pull on your dress as well, so you pulled it off your shoulders and let it fall to the ground, showing off your lace lingerie that made your nipples peek through. He sucked in a breath of air at the sight. “You are so beautiful.” He breathed out. “You are quite handsome yourself.” You smiled. He kissed you again carefully moving you over to the bed. When you lied down he pulled down his sweatpants, leaving him in his boxers and my god from the looks of his bulge alone, he was very gifted. He climbed on top of you and you continued your heated make out session, you scraped your nails on his back as you had read in books before which gave you a positive reaction. “John…will you take my virginity?” You asked him when breaking the kiss. He looked at you with widened eyes. “You- you’re a virgin? I- I mean not that that's wrong but do you really want me to take your virginity?” He asked you, almost shocked at your words, in his fantasies he wanted to be your first badly but never had he imagined it actually happening, he always assumed that someone in their twenties and a beautiful girl like you would’ve surely had sex already but he was glad he was wrong. “Yes, please.” You plead looking at him while softly stroking his handsome face.

“Fuck- okay, yes.” He cussed, something you never imagined he would do but you made him. Which was even better. He kissed you again and moved his hands over your shoulders to let the straps of your bra fall, the soft thin lace covering your breasts, falling with it. He started kneading them while starting to kiss your neck, sucking and licking the skin, which was sure to leave marks but that was a problem for tomorrow. You gasped at his actions and moaned when he took one of your nipples in his mouth and sucked on it. His other hand slid down your stomach and to your hips, pulling at the band of your lace thong to pull it off, revealing your bare glistening pussy to him. Removing his mouth from your nipple he moved back to your neck. “This all for me sweetheart?” He cooed in your ear. “Yes John- it’s all for you- only for you.” You moaned, you were so worked up you couldn’t wait for him to finally pleasure you like you fantasized every night.

As if he read your thoughts he slid his hand down to your bare pussy and let his fingers go over your wet slit, earning a whine from you. “Fuck you just can’t help it can you, so hot for your training officer, aren’t you baby?” He whispered, clearly very worked up himself, getting familiar with what you liked to hear. “Yes, please, just, I really can’t help it. You just have to be so fucking hot all the time. Especially in your uniform.” You grinned, eyes closed at the thought. “Oh really, maybe I should fuck you in uniform next time.” He said almost with a growl. He was obviously very hard for you and he wanted to please you so badly, making your first time perfect. He moved his two fingers over your clit, stimulating it with pressure. It felt so good it made you grip the sheets below you, holding your breath and closing your eyes. He moved his fingers faster the more your moans and pleas increased. And with his praises in your ear, kisses against your neck and fingers moving faster on your clit you came hard. Gasping for air and back arched you almost blanked out from overstimulation as he kept touching you, wanting to make sure every second of your orgasm was lasting as long as possible. His hard on was now getting painful, pre cum staining his boxers at the tip. But he wasn’t done yet. 

He moved his head lower, hovering over your dripping cunt he licked a stripe up your slit, making you whimper from pleasure. The sensitivity making it even more intense. Then he moved his middle finger inside while still adding more pleasure with his tongue, wanting to fully prepare you for his cock later. His tongue moving over your clit fast and his finger hitting that perfect spot inside you made you see stars as you gasped for air and screamed his name, while John now getting so horny he couldn’t help but move his erection on the mattress, needing a form of release of his build up tension. And after only ten more seconds of him fingering you and tongue fucking you, you came for the second time. Now a sheen layer of sweat on your skin, the sheets were now messed up by your grip and the area below you soaked with your juices, you only hoped John wouldn’t mind. 

when you came down from your high you looked at John who just stopped moving against the mattress. “Please, let me make you feel good now.” You sighed, still hazy from your own release. “I’m not saying no to that.” He smiled, he sat down next to you up against the headboard while you sat up too. You moved your hands over his clothed hard on and started massaging him. “Please sweetheart, enough teasing, I just need to feel you.” He groaned, so desperate for your touch. You immediately obliged and pulled down his boxers to reveal his aching, leaking cock. You licked your lips and moved your hand up and down over his soft, veiny dick, starting a soft pace to jerk him off. After he started to moan louder and louder you decided to lick his tip, he groaned loudly at this, and you now wrapped your lips around his leaking tip. Moving up and down while hollowing your cheeks, you moved your hand to jerk off what couldn’t fit in your mouth. After about 2 minutes he stopped you. “Baby stop, I don't want to cum already.” He said while his hand moved your head away from his cock and back to his mouth so he could give you a kiss. 

“Lay down for me.” You did as you were told and layed down next to him so he could move on top of you. “Are you still sure of this?” He asked you softly, he didn’t want you to have regrets. “Oh very, and I’m on birth control so maybe…you could fuck me raw?” You smiled innocently. “Fuck… yes- yes that’s sounds so good.” He muttered, he now gripped the base of his cock and slowly rubbed his tip over your wet slit. You moaned at the movements and grabbed his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. While kissing you he moved his aching cock inside you and slipped in with ease due to your wetness. He moaned in your mouth at the feel of your tight cunt stretched around him and he wasn’t even fully inside you yet. Moving his tip slowly in and out of you, he got you used to the feeling and gave him the go ahead to fully fuck you. When he bottomed out, you both let out a loud moan at the feeling. He couldn’t help but start rutting against you, moving his lips to your neck to kiss you.  You whined at the feeling, for weeks now all you could think about was this moment and finally he was fucking you. You moved your hands from his neck to his back and scratched it again with your nails making him groan against your neck, now he was pounding into you even harder, getting you both close to your release you so desperately craved. With each thrust he hit that spongy spot inside you that made you scream his name. But when he moved his fingers between you to rub your clit, you came for him, clenching your walls around his dick. He let out a loud moan at this and he filled you with his release, making it drip out of your abused hole. After some time he pulled out his softening dick and gave you a lazy smile. You smiled back at him and as he laid down next to you, you cuddled against him. “That was amazing John, like really really good. I don’t think someone has ever made me feel that way.” You murmured, moving your hand over his chest. “Well I’m glad I was your first time and I hope I didn’t disappoint.” He said before he softly kissed your hair. “It was perfect, just amazing.” You smiled. “But I will have to take you out on a proper date this upcoming weekend.” He suggested. “I would love to.” You agreed. And after that you comfortably slept in his arms, finally your fantasies were fulfilled.

[onboardsorasora]

Renovation AU

Ok I tried to stop but I couldn't stop thinking about Renovation AU (especially considering I was literally going to write it then got derailed by Enchated AU: Christmas). And then when I wrote this little snippet it was like floodgates. so here it is Renovation AU in all its outline glory all 2k words of it 🥴🥴🥴I'll just put it under the cut

Max is a handyman/contractor. I know I know. We know how his hammer skills are and how he looks holding it and an axe. But let's just pretend he actually learned this skill and he's fucking hot about it and it triggers every competency kink.

He's built, he was able to grow into his stockiness and he's strong (I'm thinking like that tree splitting tiktok guy but not as Thor thick)

Christian hires Nyck as an interior designer and Nyck hires on Max and his small team. They get shit done. Geri wants to redo the whole cottage and they have until the start of the riding season? to get it done. (Don't question me. I know nothing about riding)

So anyways– they’re behind and Christian doesn’t think Nyck can manage the scope of the job so he fires him and hires on Daniel. Daniel’s a little bit more eclectic than Nyck– but he came highly recommended by Lewis and Seb and Geri loved what he did with their house in Switzerland so she had no problems changing directions a bit.

The problem becomes clear because Max and Nyck work well together, they know each other. Max doesn’t like big change and Daniel is a big change. He’s also good looking but that doesn’t matter. He’s annoying and picky and refuses to go by Nyck’s old plans and his laugh is funny and endearing and his face is pretty and his tattoos are cool.

But none of that matters. None.

Daniel is excited to get working, but he thinks Christian could have been a bit more forthcoming about how far behind they were. Daniel was expecting that maybe he’d be starting on some walls or something, he came with with swatches and tiles and everything. But no….the house is still pretty husk-like. And he’s annoyed cause now he’s standing there in his shorts and sneakers looking like a dick on this construction site.

Anyway, it doesnt matter because he comes prepared! He has like overalls in his raptor. So he grabs that and changes right there in full view of god and everyone. Why yes he is wearing his hot pink hot pants, thanks for fucking noticing. The creative juices always flow when he’s wearing them!

So he goes to Max– who is fucking hot– and also very angry with him. And Daniel gets it, because he and Nyck were friends and there's nothing worse than seeing your friend get fired for things out of their control.

No matter, Daniel is profesh. He can work in almost any environment and he’s not going to embarrass Sewis like that. They’re long time clients and friends. And their recommendations are always highly regarded.

So Daniel gets to work, first he’s helping this guy named Simon update the bricking outside, Geri wanted a whitewash on the southern side so the garden doesn’t get too hot and it’ll match with the new patio going in. Then he’s helping a guy named Genty inside the bathroom– a couple of the pipes needed updating. There weren’t any leaks but no one uses lead pipes anymore for reasons. And then he helps GP lay some new tiles in the bedrooms so that the floors are heated in the winter.

So this is going on for a few days, Daniel helping members of the team, building a rapport– keeping a wide berth of Max. Because Daniel knows when to not ruffle feathers. But he can’t avoid him forever, so finally when all the walls are up and the electrical is done. Daniel goes to Max with the new plans– because his part of the show is about to start.

Max…isn’t happy. Sure the changes aren’t that major, and it's not like they’ll be undoing anything his team has already done. But how dare this guy with his hot accent and laugh come in and befriend his team?! If Max had to hear one more inside joke that he has no clue about or hear his crew talk about Daniel this and Daniel that, he was going to throw a hammer.

So when Daniel comes to him one evening to go over plans, Max doesn’t really want to hear it. He’s come here in his shiny truck (untrue, the truck is dirty as fuck– they work in a construction site), in his tight fucking pants (ok true, Daniel’s work pants are a tad on the skinny side), and his fucking city boots (it was one day the first day. And Max will never let it go), and his gelled hair (ok fine, he makes sure to use his curl cream. Daniel is vain), and tries to take over Max’s job site.

So Max lays into him, letting out all his frustration and pent up sexual tension for this guy that he’s barely interacted with but hears all the time and sees his team– his friends enjoy his presence and maybe he also feels a little left out. And Daniel just stands there and takes it, doesn’t interrupt him, doesn’t fight back. Even when Max is saying blatantly untrue things– but he got a good rant going and Daniel wasn’t stopping him so he was just gonna keep going.

“–and your fucking hot pink–” Max cuts himself off because there was no reason to finish that thought. And Daniel gets this smug fucking grin on his face that Max just wants to kiss off.

“My hot pink what now?” Daniel raises a brow in a challenge that Max is so not going to take. But Daniel is nothing, if not a little shit. “Were you checking me out when I was oh so privately changing that one time Maxy?”

“You stripped in the middle of the driveway while everyone was working. That was hardly private, I think Daniel.”

“But no one else has mentioned my hot pink underwear Maxy Max. Did you like what you saw?” Daniel is dragging a finger along Max’s shoulder at this point and Max is just..frozen in place because how did we get here????

“I– well–You are changing in the middle of a site Daniel. You, of course, cannot be crying modesty now!”

“You wanna know what other colours I wear?”

“Don’t be silly Daniel.”

“Of course not Maxy, yesterday when I was tiling the guest bedroom with GP, I wore my favourite bright green pair that has some smokey black watercolour pattern. And when I was outside doing the patio I was wearing this pretty yellow polka dot ones.”

“I think that's enough Daniel, maybe. I do not–” Max is trying to push him away because when did he even get cornered by this wall? Who put a wall here??

“Oh but I think you’ll like the pair for today, you’re Dutch right? Do all Dutchies like the colour orange?”

“That’s enough Daniel I think! We–we can do the plan your way! It should look great–Geri will love it! I–I think I should go. Have a good night Daniel!” And Max manhandles Daniel out of his way and gtfo’s. He does not think about how Daniel’s waist felt under his arms because why did he even grab there??? He does not think about the fucking hot smirk on Daniels stupid face and kissable mouth and he absolutely does not think about Daniel’s ass in orange hot pants. Nope. He doesn’t.

That changes everything of course. He’s way more aware of where Daniel is in the house now. And its not like Daniel is going anything different. They speak now, and Daniel teases him with tool puns and very bad jokes and Max laughs at every single one because he’s down so bad. And everyone knows it.

Daniel makes random comments when they're alone, pouring over the blueprints and notes, about how Max’s thighs look like they can crush things and the he’ll make a loud offhand comment to the guys about having thighs wrapped around his face when they’re all making increasingly lewd sex jokes at lunch.

Daniel tells Max that he likes his thigh holster and Max internalizes the implications. So what if he’s blushing while they install the kitchen– he’s exerting himself!

Anyway they’re getting closer to the deadline, they have furniture delivery coming soon and there's still so much to do. Daniel has the team painting and wallpapering and Genty is doing the crown moulding and GP is finishing up the fireplace in the den and Max and Daniel are arguing about a chandelier that Geri wanted last minute. 

“We can extend it a little lower by three maybe four inches, c’mon Max it’ll really change like the look of the room. If it's too high then it’ll look too small and throws everything off.”

They're standing in the middle of the formal dining room, surrounded by chaos. Everyone is tired and a bit cranky because they’ve truly been going non-stop to meet this deadline. 

“It’ll be too low Daniel and the weight distribution will be off." Max sighs because he’s tired of arguing about this.

"Well if your guys installed the fucking beams–" Max had enough, he was tired, he was annoyed and he would not have Daniel complain about his team and fucking beams so late in the build. He sees white and he pushes Daniel’s chest. He’s mad, you don’t talk about his guys. He’s mad and Daniel is annoying and fuck. Max presses Daniel up against the wall and kisses him hard. And Daniel grips his shoulder and kisses him back.

And literally no one bats an eyelash because fucking finally. They can get shit finished now.

So they compromise on 2.5 inches lower. And Max is now wired because now he knows what Daniel feels like under him, pressed against him. Now he knows how his lips and mouth taste and what Daniel’s stubble feels like against his jaw.

It's late another night, the guys have all gone home and Max is with Daniel in the finally finished kitchen, going over what’s left to be done. Daniel’s team would be coming with the furniture install in 2 days so they needed to have everything done for them to take over.

Their time together is coming to an end and Max can’t stop looking at Daniel’s focused face while he makes a list and tries to figure out the best way to make things work. He’s staring at Daniel’s lips, at his nose, at the furrow of his brows.

Daniel looks up at him like ‘what?’, eyes wide and owlish? They really haven’t spoken about the kiss– not about it or what it meant or anything.

And then Max is kissing Daniel again and Daniel is all in. And it’s a push and pull between them and it’s hot and messy and they fuck right there in the kitchen. Daniel sucks Max’s dick in the nook that the stove’s supposed to go in and Max bends Daniel over the countertop (which they had argued about whether it was the correct height–it was).

Anyway so the house is finished, Geri is in love. Christian is happy with it all and life goes on. Max and Daniel go on a few dates, they fuck a lot and when Daniel got hired for another big job, he hired on Max as his contractor. 

It kinda went that way for a little bit, them doing jobs together, their teams merging until they make the leap to start a business together. Which incidentally happened before they took the step to move in together. Which is funny because they technically already did. A lot of Daniel’s stuff– clothes, plans, swatches– are already strewn around Max’s place and the cats know to leave the tiles and swatches alone. But moving together is a big step. Starting a business together is just smart. Anyway, they love each other and are grossly in love and their guys tease them about it daily. And Daniel now starts every job in his hot pink hot pants.

[bomberqueen17]

progress etc

god it's less than a week to christmas. ok cool. yeah. great. all right.

i am. what have i been doing??? i don't know. I've sewn several things-- most notably a pair of leggings-- and the house renovations have progressed to the point that we're getting final measurements for counters tomorrow. I'll put pictures behind the cut. We painted the ceiling ourselves, as paint isn't included in the remodel.

I don't remember what I last posted pictures of. IDK there's a floor now, I didn't take pictures of that yet.

ok i was wrong i do have one photo of the floor but it's in-progress, max is in the background wedging it in between the cabinets.

[image description: an awkward angle looking down standing in the side door entryway, with the blue-washed gray side of a new cabinet facing me, some of the plywood subfloor exposed coated in glue, mottled gray fake stone tiles laid out and the hunched form of a man in a gray sweatshirt kneeling on the floor in the background with his head hidden behind the cabinet. Listen I wasn't trying to be creepy.]

it's fake stone vinyl tiles. i know, not normally my aesthetic, and it's probably the thing that'll look most dated in a little bit, but there was no point trying to do anything wooden or wood-look because the rest of the house has original hardwood from 1950 and anything new wouldn't match. (the hardwood badly needs refinishing, let's not contemplate that right at this juncture...)

Max is from Elmira, btw, and only moved to Buffalo a year ago-- just in time for the blizzard to absolutely destroy his first apartment here and wreck most of his stuff. It was a bit of a harsh welcome to the city. He's soft-spoken and extremely polite and doesn't really know how to talk to me, not the way Jim the installer (fiftysomething and very experienced) does. He did gently laugh at me when I left yesterday and then immediately had to come back to get my keys, which I had locked inside the house (but of course as he was still there the other door was still unlocked). "I grew up in the kind of place where you don't bother locking doors," I said, and he was like "lol same".

(I know Elmira because Middle-Little went to college there. It's a sort of dire little place in the Southern Tier-ish region of NY, a couple hours away. The region is fairly economically devastated, alternating crushing rural poverty with Tourism Dollars; Elmira itself boasts a college, a prison, and precious little else.)

Anyway-- painting the ceiling over the weekend, I discovered that the real life hack for painting a ceiling is for at least one member of your party to be six feet three inches.

[image description: my dude, a tall thin white man in an uncharacteristic ball cap he's only wearing to avoid paint splatter (it is embroidered with the HTML tags <head> on the front and </head> on the back, and was a gift to him in like 2002) is standing on the cardboard-and-sheet-draped floor of the kitchen using a paint roller on the ceiling, which he can reach easily; in front of him the cabinets are all draped in old sheets as well and there's a random light bulb sticking out because the installer wired that in for us to use as a work light since the electricians haven't installed the ceiling lights yet which was why it was an ideal time for us to paint said ceiling.]

Anyway it's going great. The counters won't go in until January sometime, but early January. The electricians plan to come the day after Christmas and I won't be there until the afternoon so I'm going to check in with Jim today about what they'll need.

Meanwhile, I remembered that I hadn't set myself the goal of crafting anything for Christmas except I bought a bunch of scarf blanks from Dharma Trading to dye as gift wraps and gift components and my basement is all torn apart and I don't dare make that kind of mess in my mother-out-law's basement so I need to work out how to get that done so I'm really kind of slogging through that, a bit.

OH i just went to look at what the last pictures I posted of the kitchen were and the answer is LIKE NONE so omg sorry here's before we painted the ceiling, where you can see what it's gonna look like!

[image description: This is View A, from the side door toward the front of the house. Along the left of the photo is a line of cabinets, a set on the ground and then another mounted up on the wall; in the middle of that will be the sink, and then farther down a dishwasher (!!!) and beyond that the stove, all along that north wall of the house. The middle of the photo is the big bay window we had installed, and there are cabinets along the front of it: the countertop will extend out from those, and will form a seating area. To the right of the window, the front door is now visible, that little wall having been removed and now being a wide-open space into the entryway. The right of the photo is the interior wall of the kitchen, now transformed into a built-in pantry space with a fridge hole in the middle, where the extra flooring tiles are currently stacked.]

[image description: this is View B, from the front door into the kitchen. The foreground is the big open space where the wall was removed; the bay window is just out of frame to the right, and the far wall shows the empty space (now containing buckets of floor glue and a roll of cardboard) where the stove will be, and above it will be an extractor hood (no more Everything Smells Like Salmon!!), and the empty space (now filled with a rolling garbage can the contractors are using) for the dishwasher, and then the little window right above the sink-- this is a detail we've kept from the old kitchen, that's where the sink was and that's where the window, but the window seems bigger because the cabinets aren't packed so tightly around it now-- and you can see the side door there, and then the left of the photo shows the edge of the pantry unit where the fridge will go.]

It's a much more open space, both of us can be in there, someone doing dishes while you cook is no longer the world-ending inconvenience it historically has been, and also now you can talk to someone in the living room while you're in the kitchen without needing to holler.

Yeah the gray cabinets are-- well they're pale wood washed with dilute blue, is what they are, and all the hard fixtures are in neutral shades like that, grays and gray-blues, and the countertops will be white with tiny sparkles, and the idea is that the big wall to the west and the little bits of wall around the windows will be painted some bold color we'll match with like throw rugs and hot mats and other changeable fixtures, so the kitchen can get "redecorated" with a new coat of paint and not clash with the hard fixtures. This job cost five figures, we're not re-redoing it during our lifetimes.

[foxes-that-run]

Maroon

Maroon is looking back on her relationship with Harry in a linear way. It was the surprise song 26 May, 2023, the first show after 20 May.

'Red'...

Taylor wrote 10 of the final 30 Red TV tracks after Harry entered the chat in March. @taylor-on-your-dash has this Making of Red post which shows it was complete 4 months after they met, it's release was 7 months after 'The Very First Night'.

It is wild to me that people say Red can't be Haylor but 1989 was inspired by a '3 month relationship', yet Reputation is about Joe, who she started dating 5 months before it's release, Rep was mostly done by then. Rep's vault tracks will surprise some more than 1989's did!

All this is to say, we know Maroon is Haylor because it is not filled with All Too Well rage and the title references Red. The Lyric Video also includes a pink/maroon sunset, which similar to sunsets referenced in Cruel Summer, INTHAF and Slut!

Lyrics

When the morning came we were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf 'Cause we lost track of time again Laughing with my feet in your lap Like you were my closest friend "How'd we end up on the floor anyway?" You say "Your roommate's cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how" I see you every day now

The first verse remembers the start

Harry's unreleased track, Hunger, is similar in meaning to Maroon. It opens with a similar line "Candles burned down to the floor." New Years Day also includes Candle wax on the hardwood floors.' Finally, Taylor included the incense in the lyric and music videos for Lavender Haze.

The first verse is very 1989 feeling, they sound young, hanging out and enjoying each others company. The room mate is most likely Ben Winston, he stayed with Ben while dating Taylor and renovating his current house. some of the This is Us Harry scenes were shot there.

And I chose you The one I was dancin' with In New York, no shoes Looked up at the sky and it was

Harry and Taylor danced with no shoes in New York after 1D's first Madison Square Garden performance 4 December 2012. Taylor is looking up to the sky in the photo of Harry lifting her.

Harry also mentioned barefeet in the leaked Trouble "And we could take this anywhere / Cause were we’re going / We don’t need no shoes" Trouble was leaked 20 April 22, 6 months before Midnights.

The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was The mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones The lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon

This verse remembers a passionate fight, like the album Red Taylor described the emotions from that period as red, and later on Lover as Golden. The wine stained dress or shirt here is also in:

Olivia “This isn't the stain of a red wine, I'm bleeding love”

Clean “you're still all over me like a wine stained dress i can't wear anymore"

Blood rushing to cheeks is blushing, in Gold Rush Taylor also referenced this "I don't like anticipatin' my face in a red flush"

The mark on Taylors collarbone may be the possible hickey here, from the night before she left the Virgin isles.

Rust growing between telephones indicates they stopped calling, Harry also references this in From the Dining Table “Even my phone misses your call, by the way”

When the silence came, we were shaking blind and hazy How the hell did we lose sight of us again? Sobbin' with your head in your hands Ain't that the way shit always ends? You were standin' hollow-eyed in the hallway Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us I feel you no matter what The rubies that I gave up

This verse is the aftermath of the fight in the one before, with apology flowers, not talking and paying for it.

Harry cries with his head in his hands

Now that we don't talk and Afterglow "I lived like an island, punished you in silence" also refer to silence/not speaking

'The rubies I gave up' to me is treasure, rubies being the red theme. To me this is in the Pay for it' Haylor theme, however Taylor has referred to her friends as Junior Jewels in YBTM, she may have she lost friends in the break up.

Standin Hollow-eyed in the Hallway refers to the Hallway theme

The carnations not roses means they were plagued by things going wrong. Harry referenced the Carnations in the Satellite MV:

And I wake with your memory over me That's a real fucking legacy, legacy (it was maroon)x2

The outtro is after some time has passed, she wakes from an adult dream remembering her lost muse. Taylor and Harry have a surprising number of songs about this:

Wildest Dreams (Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha (ha-ah, ha) / Wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha / You'll see me in hindsight / Tangled up with you all night

Ready for it...? In the middle of the night, in my dreams (my dreams) You should see the things we do (we do), baby (baby, mmm, eh)

Little Freak - "You bring blue lights to dreams" and "A wet dream just dangling"

Cruel Summer "Fever dream high in the quiet of the night / You know that I caught it"

[sweaterkittensahoy]

WE HAVE A FLOOR

OH THANK FUCK

So, for those of you who don't know or don't recall or just love seeing this fucking story again and again because this shit has HAUNTED me for NEARLY TWO YEARS, let's turn back the clock:

2022:

By the end of June 2022, the following things had happened to me in the year 2022:

Six sinus infections, one right after the other. Tested for Covid each and every time. Not Covid. When to the doctor on day 12, got the antibiotics, shit cleared up. And basically the moment the antibiotics cleared my system, new sinus infection.

Had so many in a row, in fact, that my my ashtma wouldn't calm down, and we had to get me on steroids for ten days to basically reset my lungs.

Went to a family wedding, first big trip since lockdown.

Came home from the family wedding and had Covid. I regularly get body pain with my fevers, and this was the worst body pain of my life. I barely remember going to the doctor for the test so I could take time off. It was bad.

Was very close to a major realization that a friendship I thought was going to last my whole life had become utterly toxic and abusive.

And then the end of June hit. And I woke up one morning to Sean cursing, which was alarming. Because I curse like a sailor, but he does not. I get up to see what the problem is.

The problem is a quarter-inch of water through most of our apartment. It was coming through our light fixtures. We are in a renovated basement of a house from the 1920s. I ran outside then up the stairs to see what was going on up there.

The house is two stories. Overnight, the toilet supply line on the second story had begun to leak. This kind of leak is a silent affair. We don't know when it started. But when we woke up, the entire living/kitchen area was flooded. The laundry room/bathroom was flooded. The water had soaked into the bedroom carpet so far that it was sopping wet from the door to about two feet in.

The office had, miraculously, not taken a drop. Still not sure how that worked.

We call the management company. We call insurance. I swear my ass off because Sean has to go to work, which means I'm stuck alone all day with the mess and a dog who does NOT understand why her paws keep getting wet.

Demo guys show up. They are very, very nice. By the time they're done on day one, there are two dehumidifiers and several large fans going in my house.

We don't have A/C by the way. And it's late June, and even in PDX, that's not great.

Three days later, the demo guys show back up to take out everything that can't be fixed. Our place looked like this:

Once they took all the wet out, we had this hole in our ceiling:

And were walking around on this floor:

That's the original cement floor that was put in when the house was built, by the way.

And then, we spent the ENTIRE SUMMER waiting for someone to FIX OUR FUCKING HOUSE. From the end of June until FUCKING SEPTEMBER we were living with an open ceiling and no actual floor.

I'd email the management company. I'd call. They'd say "Oh, we're working on it. The owner is dragging his feet."

Put a pin in that claim. We'll come back to it.

At the end of July, I ended that friendship I mentioned. I am using it as a measurement here so you understand that a month into my house being like this, I was also going through a massive emotionally fucked up situation.

Work was so fucking busy I nearly burned out. On top of trying to get some answers about when I was gonna get a fucking ceiling and floor again.

By August, I snapped and sent a terselye worded email about how it should not take this long to make some fucking decisions. I got back, "Oh, we're trying, but the owner isn't communicating with us."

Put a pin in that claim, too.

Finally. FINALLY. After FOUR contractors came and looked and gave estimates, we got told "Okay, we're gonna fix your place. In September. It'll take three weeks."

So, for three weeks, we moved into a hotel, and it was...it was fine. But it's not home, okay. I just wanted to be in my fucking house with a fucking ceiling and floor.

Finally, three weeks later, we moved back in, and we had a ceiling! And a floor!

And then I got what I thought was food poisoning. 48 hours of some of the worst pain I've ever had, and my endometriosis is severe enough I had a full hysterectomy at 31 or 32 (I honestly don't recall). Okay. I know from pain. Went to the doctor. Got an anti-nausea injection from the biggest needle I have ever seen in my LIFE. The doctor pushed on my gall bladder and asked if it hurt. I'd been continuously sick for 48 hours. Everything hurt. I said, in all honesty, I couldn't tell.

Went home. Rehydrated. Things seemed fine. They guessed it was my gall bladder anyway, and since I had no history of issues, said "Let's try to change your diet before we go through surgery."

Fine. Whatever. Didn't care.

A week later, in the first week of October, I ended up in the ER because I was sick again. So sick, in fact, I could not keep down apple juice. It took TWO DAYS to get a surgical spot. I went through caffeine withdrawal. The Try Guys released their video about firing Ned. All I wanted to do was go home to my finally fixed house and fucking sleep.

Surgery went fine. Had a full-room hallucination that Sean and I were Chucky and Tiffany from the Chucky movies. Kept telling Sean to kill the nurse so we'd get a larger cut of the money. This has never happened before, but I've also never been on Dilaudid for several days in a row to control my pain. Apparently, when that happens, I think I'm a serial killing doll.

Go home. Rest up. Things seem fine.

In November, I walk into the kitchen one day, look down, and see a space between two of the floorboards that should not be there.

I refuse to deal with it and throw a rug over it.

Over the next several months, more boards start bubbling and warping.

The floor, it appears, has some fucking issues.

I ignore it for almost a year. Yes, I know what you're thinking, "Gayle, why?"

Because 2022 was a fucking disaster, and a major part of it was the flood, and sometimes you just gotta avoid that shit, okay?

But, finally, it's bad enough I know I gotta say something. I send the management company a note. They send a guy. He's great. Says I'll hear back in a week.

I don't.

And then I don't.

And then I don't.

And then the owner asks to inspect the property to see how things are looking.

He sees the floor and is shocked. This is not good. Why is it like this? How long has it been like this? When did I put in a maintenance request? And what was the last thing I heard?

This is November.

In December, we are informed via letter from the owner that he would like to be cc'ed on every request we send to the management company because he is not pleased with their performance.

Well, okay.

In January, we get a hard freeze. And then we got a pinhole leak in a pipe. That I discovered when walking into the kitchen and stepping into--you guessed it--a quarter-inch of water on the floor.

It was comin up from under the boards, but the hole was actually in our wall. We had glare ice. No one in PDX knows how to handle glare ice. The owner made the trip from the deep suburbs to us every day he could (he got stuck once) to get the problem fixed as quickly and neatly as possible.

I heard him on the phone with the management company several times explaining what he was doing, how long he thought it would take, and thanking them for communicating with us.

Which.

It took 4 days. I got one email. At 6:30 PM. On a day I heard him call them at 10 AM.

So. Suddenly "the owner isn't responding" and "the owner won't communicate" seem like complete fucking bullshit. Because he sure as hell responded when he found out there was a leak (we cc'ed him on the email as requested), and I fucking HEARD HIM communicate.

And then we found out that the owner had not had final say on the floor, which now had to be replaced not just for bubbling but for being fucking wrecked from NEW water damage.

But for this new floor, we just went through him, and would you look at that. Clear communication. Regular updates. We were on the concrete again for about three weeks because that's just how far out contractors are booking right now. But the work was done when he said it would be, and by god, it's clearly a much higher quality of flooring.

So. It's done. It's fucking done. It looks beautiful. The owner scrubbed our bathroom before he left for some fucking reason and was worried he'd lost the knob off our washing machine (we bought it used; it's never had that knob). When I met him the first time after the big leak, I thought he was a complete asshole, and it turns out he's actually all right. He gave us money for dinner this week and is also gonna get us a few days of rent comped for having to have people in and out. I'm never renting through this management company again, but if that dude's got other properties through someone else, I'd go there in a second.

April 5, 2024. May it be the last reference I ever have to make to a fucking floor repair in this house.

[geralt-of-baevia]

Call It What You Want: Chapter Seven

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine

pairing: nobreakout!joel x f!ofc (Violet Fletcher)

rating: explicit, MDNI 18+

word count: 3.3k

summary: Seeking solace from a painful breakup, Violet relocates to a tranquil town, purchasing a neglected house to renovate. In her new neighborhood, she befriends Harlow, who introduces her to Joel, a gruff and seasoned contractor with a heart of gold. Despite Joel's initial grumpiness, Violet finds herself drawn to his expertise and hidden kindness.

As Violet immerses herself in home renovations alongside Joel, their dynamic begins to shift, with Joel unexpectedly opening himself up to the possibility of love. Their budding relationship faces challenges as shadows from their pasts emerge, testing their newfound connection.

warnings/tags: fluff, child loss, descriptions of a car wreck, friend loss, reproductive anatomy talk, more crying, maria being a cunt, and i think that's it

a/n: so, im not telling you the next chapter something finally happens between our two love birds...but I'm also not NOT telling you that 👀. this chapter is another kinda sappy, sad one. but man, I love these characters so much. 💕

The rest of the afternoon Harlow helped me make some biscuits to take to dinner. Apparently we were going to be having breakfast, and I wanted to contribute something. 

“What’s this other dough that’s in the fridge?” Harlow asked. I looked over to see her pointing at a square slab of dough wrapped in seran wrap. 

“Oh, that’s going to be croissants. The dough is chilling after laminating it,” I told her. I started to explain what that was, but she stopped me. 

“I’ve watched enough Great British Bake Off, I know what that is,” she said proudly. I shook my head and laughed. 

“Who are you making croissants for?” 

“For Bill and Frank. I told them at the wedding I’d make them some as a wedding present,” I said happily. A huge grin spread across her face. She bit at her bottom lip to try and contain it. “What?”

“Okay, okay, you twisted my arm, I’ll tell you,” she said, rocking back and forth on her feet. 

“Tell me what?” 

“I think Frank is going to ask you to bake pies and things for their restaurant,” she said excitedly. My eyes widened and my jaw slacked. 

“Wait-wait what?” I asked, not believing what I was hearing. “But, but why?”

“Because Frank really likes you. And Bill really likes your croissants. Oh and Joel wouldn’t shut up one day about an apple pie you made,” she said, knitting her brow together at the mention of the pie. 

“Awh yes, the pie he was practically eye fucking,” I said with a giggle. Her face scrunched together in disgust. 

“Okay first off, ew. Second off, I need you to make me a pie so I can try some,” she said. I shook my head. 

“How about for next week’s dinner I’ll make a pie? I’ll take a vote on what flavor.”

She clapped her hands excitedly. “Yay! Oh my god, then everyone gets to try your food! Which, everyone should be. This town is going to fall in love with you.”

I rolled my eyes with a smirk. “If you say so.”

Once the biscuits were done and cooled enough, we drove in Harlow’s car to Joel’s. When we got there, everyone else had already arrived. The house was bustling with talking and music, it pouring out through the open windows. I could smell something cooking, and whatever it was smelled amazing. As we walked through the front door we were met with a cacophony of greetings and cheers. 

“I didn’t know you were coming!” Ellie practically screamed, rushing over to hug me. She hit me with force, almost knocking me and the biscuits over. 

“Hey, hey, hey! Be careful with the lady handling the precious cargo!” Harlow told her. Ellie rolled her eyes, taking the basket out of my hand before going over and putting them on the kitchen island. I scanned the room and saw Joel in the kitchen cooking, at the counter Tommy was sitting next to a woman I hadn’t met before, and Ellie made her way back out to the porch. Harlow followed Ellie outside as I made my way into the kitchen. 

On the stovetop Joel was cooking what looked like a country fried steak. My eyes grew wide with excitement. Joel glanced at me. 

“What? Surprised you’re not the only one who can make stuff like this, miss professional?” he jeered, giving me another glance. I scoffed. 

“You’re such a shit. I’m just excited to have this, that’s all,” I told him. I turned to Tommy and gave him a smile and a small wave hello. 

“It’s nice to see you again, Violet,” he said, he nodded his head to motion me closer. “I want to introduce you to my fiancée Maria. Maria, this is Violet.”

Maria smiled, but flatly. I tried to not take it to heart, so I just moved on. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Violet,” she said, her smile still not fully genuine. 

“You, too.” 

The rest of the evening went well for the most part. I spent most of the night giggling and joking with Ellie and Harlow, Ellie being practically attached to my hip. But something felt weird because Joel hadn’t touched me once. The most was when he was handing me my plate of food and our fingers brushed. 

Maybe coming tonight wasn’t the best idea after all. 

After dinner we all ended up on the porch, enjoying the warm summer evening air. I kept catching glances from Joel, and every time I got flashes from the day before. I wish I knew what was going on in his head.

As the evening progressed further, somehow it ended up with just Maria and I outside together. My heart beat rapidly in my chest, nervous to be alone with her. I could tell she wasn’t my biggest fan, but I couldn’t figure out why. We had just met. What could I have done? 

“You know Violet, you’re not what I expected,” she said, keeping her eyes out on the horizon of trees. 

“Oh?” I asked cautiously, “how is that?” 

“Well, for one you’re a lot younger than I would have thought,” she said. Her words hit me like a knife, and I could feel heat rising in my chest.

“Why would you think that?” I questioned, knowing full well why. She turned to face me, her expression cold. 

“I was expecting Joel to be caught up with a woman, not a girl,” she stated. My eyes narrowed at her. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Violet, you strike me as a nice enough person. You seem smart, funny, and obviously someone who is more than capable of taking care of herself at such a young age,” she started, “that it genuinely confuses me what you’re doing with a man like Joel.” 

“Why does it matter to you?” I asked, my words like spitting fire, “What is it to you that I’m seeing someone older than I am?”

“Because it’s going to drag you down. Joel isn’t some young guy who can just go out on adventures with, have kids with, or even - what do you two talk about? You can’t have anything in common-”

I held a hand up to stop her from talking.

“Maria, I just need you to stop. You don’t know me. And obviously you don’t know Joel,” I told her. “And Joel is going to be your brother in law soon. How would he, or even Tommy, feel knowing you’re talking about Joel like this? Kindly Maria, fuck off.” 

Without another word I made my way back into the house, my chest aching with anger. When I got inside I tried my best to shove all of that down, not wanting anyone knowing something was wrong.

“Violet! Settle a debate for us,” Ellie practically shouted at me once I was inside. “In the song, is the farmer’s dog named Bingo, or is the farmer’s name Bingo?” 

A smile cracked on my lips, it defusing my rage a little. 

“It’s definitely the dog. Why would he mention the dog if it wasn’t the dog’s name. He would have just said his name was Bingo.” 

Ellie’s eyes lit up. “I TOLD YOU JOEL!” 

Joel held his hands up in defeat. “I stand corrected.” 

Soon after my talk with Maria’s, her and Tommy left. Thankfully. I felt like a weight had lifted off of my shoulders once I saw their truck drive away. I grabbed a beer from Joel’s fridge and headed back out to the porch to have a moment to collect myself. 

I leaned against the railing and let out a heavy sigh, hot tears spilling over my cheeks. Maria’s word hit home more than I wanted to admit. Bringing up stuff I thought I had healed from, or thought that I had gotten over. I didn’t realize anyone was outside with me until I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder.

“Hey,” I heard in Joel’s gruff voice. I turned to see Joel standing behind me, a soft expression on his face. 

“Are you okay?” he asked gently. I shook my head no, not wanting to to speak more and in turn cry more. Without another word Joel pulled me into an embrace and I broke down, my face nuzzling in his chest. I sighed a heavy sigh of relief, not realizing how badly I needed him to touch me until I was in his arms. He pet my hair and kissed the top of my head. My body just completely melted into him. 

“I’m sorry,” I muttered out. 

“No, no, you’re okay. Was it Maria?” he asked, his tone stern. I nodded against him. “Goddammit.”

I sniffed and pulled my head away to look up at him. “What?”

“I just- she keeps making comments to me about you, especially after the wedding and Tommy went home and told her about you. And how old you are. That’s why I didn’t personally invite you tonight and why I was kinda distant,” he told me. He had been trying to protect me from Maria. “I honestly never thought she’d have the gall to say anythin’ to your face. Once Harles takes Ellie home, I want you to tell me what she said, okay?” 

I nodded up at him. He cracked a sweet smile at me.  I felt him unwrap his arms from me and reach up to wipe the tears from my cheeks with the rough pads of his thumbs. 

“Thank you,” I said softly. He cradled my face in his hands, grinning down at me. 

Harlow and Ellie stayed for about an hour longer before they headed out. Ellie fell asleep on the couch, her head in my lap. I had been combing through her hair with my fingers. She snored softly, her body completely relaxing into the couch. 

“I’ll get her,” Joel mumbled. He got up from his spot on his chair and came over to us on the couch. I watched as he leaned down and scooped up Ellie with ease. He gave me a small wink as he stood back up. My heart leapt a little. 

“I’ll get the door,” I said, getting to my feet and rushing in front of them. I opened it and he passed through. Harlow came over and pulled me into a tight hug. When she was done, she held me by my shoulders at arm’s length. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, scanning my face. I nodded. 

“Yes, I’m okay.”

“You and Joel are okay-”

“Yes, Harlow. We’re okay,” I said reassuringly. She a gave me a smile before giving me another squeeze and left. I leaned against the doorframe and watched Harlow give Joel a hug. She swayed them back and forth for a moment before hopping into her car and driving away. I walked over to where Joel was standing and snaked my arm around his, leaning my cheek against his shoulder. We watched as Harlow’s car rounded the corner at disappear. With a squeeze from Joel’s hand headed back inside. 

He closed the door behind us and I turned around to face him. He motioned with his head for me to follow him. I nodded, following him as we ascended the stairs up to his bedroom. I was confused, but followed anyway. When we got to the top, Joel kicked his shoes off. I titled my head quizically as he climbed onto his bed, laying down with his head propped up on a pillow. He patted the mattress next to him, laying his arm out for me. 

I jokingly rolled my eyes as I hopped onto the bed, laying down next to him. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. I snuggled into him, trying to get as close as possible. But nothing felt close enough. I wrapped my one of my arms around his sturdy torso and nuzzled my face into his pec. 

“Okay now,” he started, wrapping his free arm around me as well, “what did Maria say?” 

I let out a heavy sigh before telling him what she said, and my response in turn. He stayed silent other than a few hums of acknowledgement for my words. When I was done, I felt his chest began to rise and fall rapidly. He was pissed. I moved so that I was propping myself up on my elbow, finally getting a good view of his face. 

His face was red and his jaw clenched, but there was something in his eyes that wasn’t anger - it was fear. I put a comforting hand on his chest. 

“Joel, I don’t want you-”

“Don’t want me to what?”

“I-I don’t know. Be mad about this? This upset?” I said. My heart began to beat rapidly in my chest. He sighed, looking up and finally meeting my eyes. There it was again, fear. 

“What are you afraid of, Joel?” I asked plainly. His eyes grew wide. He propped himself up so that he was face to face with me. 

“How do you know I’m afraid of something?” he asked, his eyes deep brown eyes scanning my face. 

“I don't know, I can just tell,” I said with a small shrug. He paused, scanning my face again, trying to get a read on me. 

“Some of the things Maria said hit a little too close to home,” he said. My face quickly changed, my brow knitting together. 

“What do you mean?” I asked. He sat the rest of the way up, leaning against the headboard. I also sat up, sitting with my legs criss crossed in front of him. 

“I mean, she’s right in a sense. I can’t give you those things,” he stated, not making eye contact with me again. 

“Like what?”

I heard him sniff, still not looking up at me. He didn’t say anything, just staying silent and looking at his lap. I got to my knees and knelt in front of him, reaching up to cradle his face in my hands. As I lifted his face to look at mine, tears fell down his cheeks. 

“Like what?” I asked again, but gentler this time, my voice just a whisper. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath before he spoke. 

“Like a fun adventurous life,” he said, his voice getting more confident as he spoke, “and well, children.” 

The word stung, and I could tell he knew. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have with him yet, but I guess I didn’t have a choice now. 

We stared at each other for a beat. Neither of us wanted to be the first person to say something on the topic. 

“I know about Sarah.” 

Joel’s eyes got bigger at my statement. 

“H-How?” he asked, searching my face for an answer. 

“Harlow told me earlier today,” I mumbled out. Joel rubbed his face with his hands, hotly wiping away tears. 

“So, you know about the accident?” he asked. I nodded with a hum. 

“I-I don’t know what to say Joel,” I said, tears swelling behind my eyes. 

He shook his head. “You don’t have to say anythin’. I mean, you were going to find out eventually. I just-I just don’t know how to bring it up to people. And I don’t really like to talk about it…”

I let out an uncomfortable laugh. “I mean, that’s understandable. I don’t love talking about how I can’t have children…”

Joel’s face went from sad to concern. 

“Wait, what?”

“Um, yeah. I can’t have kids. I found out about three years ago,” I told him. His brow furrowed together more, my answer not what he was wanting. 

“But - why? How?” he asked. 

“Um, it wasn’t like a huge or traumatic thing. My menstrual cycle got weird like five years back, weirder than normal. I stopped having one regularly, only every couple of months. So I went to the doctor and they did ultrasounds and blood tests and CT scans and all that. They found that I had something wrong with the way my reproductive organs developed and its in a way that makes it so I can’t have kids. Like, even if I wanted to try and get pregnant, I couldn’t,” I told him, my eyes glossing over a little the more I spoke. 

Joel reached out to take my hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze. 

“Vi, that is traumatic. Your choice was taken away. I know what it’s like to have something taken away from you without you getting any say in the matter,” he said, giving me a half-hearted smile with tears in his eyes. 

I felt like my heart was going to burst. I bit at my bottom lip, trying to contain whatever feelings were going on inside of me. 

“Thank you,” I said softly. Joel reached forward and pulled me into his lap. I nuzzled my face into his neck as he enveloped me in his arms. We sat there in a comfortable silence for a bit and his hold on me never relaxed.

He held me tightly, and I could tell we both needed this. We needed someone to understand listen to and hear our traumas, that’s it. Not try to fix it, or feel sorry for the other person. Just to hold a place for each other’s baggage, taking the heavy load off of the other’s shoulder. Being vulnerable wasn’t something I was fond of, especially with someone like Joel. 

“Joel?” I asked, my voice coming out in just a whimper. 

“Hmm?”

“What happened with Sarah? And Lucas?” I asked as gently as I could. I heard him sigh.

“Um,” he started, his voice shaky, “we were headed to get a bite to eat after the girl’s had a soccer game, for my birthday. Everything was totally fine, until I drove through an intersection. Our light was green, the drunk fuck who hit us, did not. He hit the passenger side and flipped the car over. Thankfully Harlow got knocked out on impact, I’m so glad she didn’t have to see what I did. 

“There was glass everywhere, blood. I won’t go into the details, but Sarah died on impact. Lucas tried to hold on, but he died on the way to the hospital. I still will never understand how Harlow and I made it out with a couple head injuries and broken bones.”

I looked up at him in awe. How someone could go through that, losing his best friend and his only child on his birthday no less, and still go on every day. I couldn’t imagine. He and Harlow were far stronger than I could have ever imagined. 

I reached a hand up to Joel’s cheek, and he relaxed into my touch. He turned his head to look down at me, our eyes meeting. We held our gaze on each other for a moment, and before I knew it Joel’s lips were crashing down onto mine. At first, his mouth was just needy, but then it quickly turned heated. He began pulling me closer, but I stopped him. He rested his forehead against mine, both of us out of breath. 

“Joel, as much as I want to do that more than anything-”

“Now is not the time, no I know,” he cut me off, finishing my sentence. I cradled his face in my hands, his face now masked with disappointment. 

“I cannot wait to fuck you senseless, Joel,” I said in a matter of fact tone, “but right now after all of the emotions I’ve had over the last 24 hours, I want nothing more than for you to hold me until I fall asleep. Can you do that for me?” 

A smile cracked in the corner of his mouth and he nodded. 

“I can do that.”

[simbico]

I finally got my legacy family to Chestnut Ridge! I haven't played them there yet but I've moved them in! I'm not turning back! It took me 4 house build attempts, nearly 2 months and 1 migraine to get them here. 💀

I LOVE this lot though! Because it makes it look like the whole area outside of it belongs to the household living there. The only thing I dislike is that I can't connect the out of bounds path to their front porch. The good of this lot outweighs that though. I also need to figure out what to do with all that space in their backyard....

Although the other house I renovated had better character on the outside, with this new one I do like that I had enough space to really personalize the kids' rooms (under a cut to respect everyone's dashboards):

Fern's Room

Juniper's room

Rosen's room

Amantius and Hugo's room

Downstairs living areas. They're a little unfinished but mostly done I think. Their reading room is probably my favorite and the biggest reason I had to make this house work because I made the mistake of decorating it first.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Birthday Stuff

Okay, so, time to practice the answer to the "how old are you?" question:

47. ...Yes, really. (I may have got some increasingly disbelieving reactions from the lady who did my hair today.)

Anyway, pretty low-key birthday, given that the vast majority of gifting from the parentals was done and dusted (though in honour of where my present allotment went this year, I looked at my Critical Role cast autographs and it still makes me smile as much as it did on the day, so I have zero regrets). Mum didn't want to let the day go uncelebrated, though, so she made me an appointment at the hair salon she goes to - which she picked because a) the lady does a good job with her hair and b) travelling to find someplace that will cut my hair well at a price I can easily afford is hard for me, and her hairdresser is nearby. For someone who is as notoriously non-tactile as I am, I still surprisingly find the "having my hair washed" part of the whole process to be my favourite part of the whole thing. But now my hair is nice and short, just how I like it, and I no longer look like a Briard.

Anyway, while I was having my hair done, Mum went to the Japanese place in East Dulwich I like but can seldom afford and picked up sushi, which she brought back to eat in the comfort of my sitting room. She's found a way to balance "don't make me cook on my birthday" and "don't make me sit in a loud crowded restaurant on my birthday", which is nice, let me tell you. Though for my own part, I spent last night baking, because I wanted a birthday cake and I can't just buy one like a normal, gluten-tolerant person. Behold:

Chocolate cake with whipped chocolate mint ganache frosting. Also little sugar stars to make the thing look more festive. Mum almost finished her entire slice (she did entirely demolish the frosting, so I guess I come by the "GIVE ME THE FROSTING" thing I have going on honestly), which is always my benchmark for having done well. I also had a slice, obviously, but I sent a big chunk home with her so that my stepfather could have some. I'd love to have them both here at the same time, but apparently their dog, Digby, is ever so slightly co-dependent and they prefer one of them be home with him at all times.

Oh, speaking of dogs, a couple of bits of news about the whole "getting flats renovated" thing. (This will make sense in a minute, I swear.) So my stepfather has been working his ass off on the other flat - the original flat I was living in, the one that's going to be an investment flat of sorts when all the work is done on both that one and this one. The plan is to finish the work on that one, move me back into that one until this one is fixed up - which it needs desperately; pulling up this fucking carpet for a start, and dear gods a shower pump - and then have me finally settle into this one when it's not full of horrible peach carpet and carpeting in the fucking bathroom (WHO DOES THAT?!?). There will be a pause on the "him working his ass off" thing because he pushed too hard and has managed to do himself an injury so bad he couldn't manage the stairs in his own home for a week. But he's insisting on doing all of this himself, for some insane reason.

Point is that in the week of mad working, he discovered that the neighbours in the flat next to the one he's working in have a dog. Why is this a big deal? Because the management company that manages the building has a "no pets" policy. Now, we've been pretty sure that at least one person in the building has a cat, but it's harder to prove cats than it is to prove dogs, who require regular trips outside. Anyway, we've been keeping to the "no pets" policy, but my mother in particular has hated doing it because she firmly believes that I would do better with some small living furry companionship around the house. I'm not saying she's wrong, mind you.

Anyway, the point is, she tells me this while we're finishing up our sushi, then tells me that once all the stuff with the flats is finally sorted, they will get me the small furry pets of my choosing. Because apparently, or so said my mother's tone of voice, "They get to have a fucking dog, and my daughter can't have a pet at all? Fuck that and fuck them!"

(I come by my stubborn-and-petty honestly, too.)

She's also very much come around to the idea of me having pet rats, at least partly because I refuse to have a pet cat, however much I might want one. In winter, I have to keep the doors to the various rooms closed to keep the heat in (and the heating bill down), and it's not fair to cram a cat into too small a space. Besides, this place isn't designed to have a decent space for a litter box, and rats are somewhat less likely to eat my plants and get sick. So anyway, point is that I have so many more reasons to really hope the renovations and stuff get done soon. I just wish my stepfather would hire a fucking contractor, for his own sake. He's going to hurt himself badly doing that shit.

Anyway, a happy birthday to me, all told. Not that I did much - had my hair done, got fed sushi, had a rather glorious nap - but honestly, that's probably enough for me at this point. And a whole week off stretches out before me. A week of sleeping in, video games, maybe making myself some more potato soup... Oh, and banana bread. I have a plan that involves adding chocolate chips and peanut butter chips to the next batch of banana bread. I've just got really into banana bread lately. It's easy, it's filling, and maybe I just need the potassium, I dunno.

[driftingvoid-155]

//((Ruin spoilers))//

Theory that the pizza plex, along with pizza sim, is built on top of the underground facility in sister location.

(I just let my brain run, so don’t take any of this too seriously, and did like, zero fact checking. Just a interesting theory / some connections I noticed. Also sorry if this is like, super obvious and I'm just slow on the uptake).

Was telling some friends how in Ruin it felt like once entering from Roxy's Raceway, it was going down forever until you finally reached the mimic. The stairs, the elevator, the cave, more and more stairs. Was thinking about it again tonight and realized I’ve felt that before. In the sister location game when the elevator just keeps going down and down for what must be minutes as hand unit talks. I mean, how many very deep areas with pizzerias/ facilities at the bottom can there be in this universe? Plus the sister location room in the plex?? Maybe referencing the fact that like in SL with Mike’s house, the plex sits on top of the facility?? The fact that help wanted 2 is sister location based??

Other connections:

Candy Cadet's story about the little boy going to the basement feeling similar to Liz going to Circus Baby in the sense that once the parent was gone, the child was lured in. By a lullaby in case of the boy and by ice cream with Elizabeth.

The scooper arm thing that comes for the mimic in one of the endings. Perhaps a revamped version of the SL one. Cassie pushing the button and watching through the glass also has a very similar feeling of when we watched Ennard do it to Mike. Plus the way the mimic wears the suits feels similar to the way Ennard wore Mike like a suit. Perhaps the mimic had seen that done before.

Connecting to that - “What is bad is always left behind,” maybe something didn’t make it out with the rest of the funtimes and has been waiting down their for its own chance to escape.

The eyes in the AR world just scream Ennard/ Ennard connections to me.

Sister location was also used as a storage as seen with both the funtimes and, according to Baby, when she tells Mike she’s put him in something from, “my old pizzeria.” In that case, if they had old/ unused springlock suits down there, then why not the mascot costumes as well? The lion, bird, and elephant? (I get the feeling the mascots might have been Will and Henry's original ideas before they scrapped them and made the springlock suits instead. Which then those are what they decided to open the first restaurant with so the mascots actually never got to see the light of day in terms of performing/ being on display).

Overall, I think it’s kind of neat to think it’s all stacked on top of each other. Items from the Fredbears Family diner (springlock suits) and stuff from before (mascots) all shoved into sister location which then has Pizza Sim built on top of it (the house before it either being renovated into sim or destroyed) and then finally the plex. Years of Freddy’s getting buried and replaced with the new yet all still stacked right on top of the other.

Also as a final thought, sister location was one of the first instances in the games where we saw evidence of experiment with AI and false life with the robot heads in the primary control module. I think it would be neat if it all this talk about AI and false life in the plex tied right back to where it started.

Again, I might be talking nonsense but it was fun to think about so hope anyone who actually read all the way down to here had just as much fun entertaining the idea for a moment as well :)

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

I just wanted to stop by and say i hope you are doing well, and if not i hope that things improve for you in the near future. You're a great person and deserve the best!

oh gosh, that is so very kind of you, darling, thank you so much ❤❤❤

i've been struggling a lot with my chronic fatigue and chronic pain and all the, you know, fucking tasks of being alive, but some good news is that i seem to have finally figured out the key to sleeping decently after years of severe insomnia, which is working out every other day. (the downside is that it takes so many spoons to exercise that i seem to recover just in time to exercise again. 🙄)

for ages i've been strung out on 4-6 hours of sleep, and now i'm getting 8-12. i'm also getting some pretty awesome muscles along the way, and i quite enjoy being stronger.

i've been reading oodles of ofmd fic after years of not having the mental energy to read much, so that's been fun. i also just did some cooking today, after a few weeks of not having the energy. yay muffins and seven layer dip! (refried beans, guacamole, sour cream, salsa, cheddar, black olives, green onions. fantastic.)

we also had some home renovations done earlier this year, to clean out 15 years of clutter, replace the carpets with vinyl, fix a whole lot of plumbing and electrical problems, and my family is paying for us to have a maid come regularly to clean what we're not able to. it was an incredibly stressful event and we still haven't put everything back where it's supposed to be, but having a clean and functional house has been an enormous stress relief.

so anyway, i'm still struggling with a lot of things, but a lot of things are also going well. thank so much for caring, sweetie. 🥰

[chaoticgeminate]

Kelly—not a cafe ask but a request:

I would love some game recs. I’m a bit tapped/maxed out on Stardew (I’ve pretty much done everything in it, even with the big updates) but I loved that game, would be really interested in finding more like it (or just seeing what other people who liked that game have also liked)

If you wouldn’t mind sharing, of course 💜

I hope you’re having a lovely day!

Jess! I'm having an amazing day, we have a nice breeze (finally) and the sun is shining (which is a shocker here in England sometimes)!

I am delighted to share some of my favorite game recs with you, though I admit I have no idea what system you use primarily so I'll list some of my top 10 current favorite games (in no particular order) and why as well as what systems they can be played on as well as if they're on PC Gamepass 💙 I'll throw some honorable mentions on there too.

My Time at Portia [PC/Console/Mobile]: This game is a lifestyle simulation in the same vein as Stardew Valley except instead of farming you build new inventions and tech. Its set in a post-apocalyptic time where people are suspicious of a LOT of technology and like Stardew has one of the biggest varieties of romanceable NPCs if that's your thing. There are some light themes of religion vs science, but not to the point that it makes the game too philosophical. It plays okay on console but the company that Pathea hired to do the porting wasn't exactly the greatest so it can get really buggy, if you have a PC you'll get the best experience. (It IS available on Xbox game pass currently)

Catlateral Damage [PC/PS4]: So this game is literally just for fun. It's a game where you run around as a cat and your goal is to just destroy EVERYTHING. You knock things off counter tops, tables, bookshelves... it's one of those games you can turn on and play mindlessly to either kill time or work out your frustrations on imaginary dishes.

No Place Like Home [PC]: So this game is also a lifestyle simulation and like Stardew Valley it has farming as a core mechanic, but like Portia it's set in a sort of post-human scenario. In this one humans left the earth so trash ridden that they fled to Mars, your character comes back to find her grandfather and you recycle trash and actually clean up his farm and the local town (that's as far as I've gotten right now). It's a unique spin on a farming simulation.

House Flipper [PC/Console/Mobile]: As someone who can get lost for weeks if I boot up the Sims this is a very healthy alternative for me. So as you can guess the point of this game is to buy and flip houses, you can renovate them basically any way you want though paint colors and wallpapers are kind of limited. It can be very relaxing or very frustrating but I have fun playing around with designs and layouts with it and I tend to use it if I'm designing houses for fics. (Available on game pass)

Power Washing Simulator [PC/Xbox/PS4&5]: So this is one I jut picked up and only after I'd seen let's play videos on it, it's just an aesthetically pleasing game for me and I love the methodical work of powerwashing fictional things. It's another mindless game of turn it on and get the satisfaction of seeing clean lines carved through fake grunge.

Final Fantasy XIV Online [PC/Play Station]: While I have tried out numerous MMORPG games it is this one that speaks to me the best. The JRPG art style isn't exactly everyone's cup of tea and I get that, and it is a monthly service subscription if you aren't a free account so I won't try and shove it down anyone's throats, but the story for this game is absolutely phenomenal. You can play free up to level 60 and through the Heavensward Expansion, which is the base game and first expansion and still have an AMAZING experience.

Maneater [PC/Console]: Okay so I thought I was going to HATE this one. I have mild thalassophobia so underwater and ocean based games are usually a HARD pass for me. But I think since you are the predator in this game it was a bit easier for me to handle. This one is another mindless destruction game, you play as a shark and eat fish (and eventually people) to grow and level up with a crazy mutation side story and a shark hunter out to kill you. It's where my insane gamer!Pero emote/meme picture was born (I have a pink gaming chair and plan to get the Razer Kraken Kitty headset) (Also game pass available)

Subnautica/Subnautica Below Zero [PC/Console]: Right so these play more like a horror game to me (thanks phobias) but the landscape and the world of both of these games are stunning. I'm playing them very slowly and have watched let's play videos already, as well as tuned into friends streaming it, but the environment of these games are really truly just beautiful. Alien oceans and creatures, base building, resource gathering, and a really deep story in both of them. Below Zero is the sequel so naturally some of the functions are more fleshed out but they're both worth a play even if they scare the pants off me. (game pass available)

Stray [PC/Xbox/PS4&5]: I can't do this list without Stray, it is absolutely a newer game but I'm in love with it. There are some levels that squick me out but don't make it fear inducing, it's very puzzle platformer and one of the coolest dystopian worlds I've seen created. The robots are all unique, the cat is cute, and there's a dedicated meow button!

Raft [PC]: This is another game I thought I'd hate, even if it is a survival/building simulation like Minecraft, because... water. But honestly I actually really love it. You can get absolutely insane with your raft building, you can have animals and bee hives, it's honestly (to me) super fun to just go creative mode and see what sort of zany designs I can come up with to work out into survival mode.

Honorable Mentions: Undertale, Ori and the Blind Forest, Ori and the Will of the Wisps, Strange Horticulture, Among Us, Pokemon Sword and Shield, Pokemon Legends Arceus, Animal Crossing New Horizons, Chrono Cross Remaster, Atelier Ryza, Crash Bandicoot and Spyro Series' remasters

[ilegnangeli]

Random July Thought #1

Greetings and salutations!

I find this weird. Writing again. Maybe because I'm overcome with emotions. Maybe because I'm feeling sad. Maybe because I'm feeling nostalgic. Maybe because I'm in a state of idleness.

Approximately a year ago I wrote things about my life and today, I thought about writing again.

As I write this, I'm about to move out of my first ever apartment. I decided in December last year to move out and live on my own. Independent life hasn't been easy. Bills! Bills! Bills! But I felt it in my soul that I was happy. I was happy to be living alone. That I was finally realizing one of my biggest dreams. Have a home for myself.

Little did I know that it wasn't a breeze through the wind. Of course, everything is my responsibility now. Food. Water. Electricity. Internet connectivity. The works. They were all my responsibility now. I was to pay for everything. And to tell you honestly, that part is a nightmare. But for what it's worth, I enjoy it. Spending money on myself, I mean. Adulting hits you hard when you're about to turn 30.

So a few days from now, I'm moving to my new home. A home that I could finally call "mine." You see, I grew up in a big household. There was not enough room for everyone so we shared rooms. Growing up, I sorta dreamed about living in a space that I could call mine. My own. And so before I turn 30 this year, I decided to get my own home which I'm about to move into a few days from now.

It has been a tough few months. It was stressful. With all the renovations that had to be done before it was turned-over to me and with all the fit-outs that had to be put inside before I move in, everything else... was stressful. The anxious little girl in me wants to scream so loud because I am severely exhausted. I'm tired.

Anyway, I'm going to miss this apartment I'm living in now. I've grown to love this space. This was the space that sheltered me when I got COVID-19 as we were transitioning to the new year. This was the space that I called mine for almost 7 months. This was the space that led me to fulfilling my childhood dream of having my own space. This was the space that comforted me when I was breaking down. This was the space that witnessed my ups and downs in 2022. And this was the space that I called home for the past 7 months.

I'm going to miss the security that I've befriended here. I'm going to miss going to the floor where my sister and nephew lives lmao. That also used to be my home. I'm going to miss jump roping in the amenities floor. I'm going to miss this place. I'm going to miss ME in this place.

It's bittersweet leaving a place you had been accustomed to living in in what feels like forever. It's only been months since I lived here but it feels like eons ago.

I remember this feeling when I was about to leave my dormitory in China. Room 311 to be exact. It was home for me for less than a year. But I miss my life and myself in that room. I lived there with another foreign national. I had a roommate that was the sweetest. I had two to be exact. But the first one had to leave during the second semester so I had to be roomies with another one for the following semester. Both were amazing. They were both Thai. One shared my birth month. The other one shared my being crazy. They were both lovely. Most of the time, it felt like I lived alone though. Because during some days (holidays in Thailand) they would go home. So I pretty much enjoyed solitude.

That was why when I got back from China, it felt weird living with a lot of people--again. It wasn't like new because I grew up in a big household but having to transition from living in a big space on my own to living with other people again, it was weird. That's why the pandemic sorta did something in me. Being isolated with a lot of people inside the house was hellish. But they're family so it's not like I can complain.

Thankfully, last year, I did the moving out thing. And I'm glad I did. I got COVID-19 but at least I was isolated from everyone else when I had it. My parents have comorbidities and I didn't want to be the source of the virus.

And so as I am writing this, I just finished my meal. About to take some medicine because I have the flu (I feel like this is another COVID-19 hit but I haven't taken any antigen tests or RT PCR thingy lol) and about to pack some of my clothes inside boxes for moving out.

I feel like I grew as a person in this place. This was home for me and I felt safe here. I'm going to miss this place. I don't think I've emphasized that enough but yeah, I'm going to miss the morning sunrises in this place. Because the sole reason why I took this place is because it faced east and I love the morning sun. I love the sun when it seeps through the blinds and bounces off the walls of this space. I just sighed remembering the first few days I spent in this place. I was the happiest.

P.S. I hope I could write more when I move to my new home. I hope I could be able to chronicle my day to day experiences again.

P.P.S. I hope I could feel the happiest again.

[lilladysims]

This time I'm serious!

*sighs* Well, good news and good-er news. I sure did take on the project of starting from the ground up and it took some time to find my mojo, I'm finally on a save file that isn't confusing me. Let me explain what I've so far

I planned my residential lots out. I went on a hunt to find lots that lacked very little to no custom content; store content was fine being that I'm already used to most of the items.

I planned my community lots out. I knew for the most part I still wanted my open rabbit holes, but some of them weren't necessary, like having the second gym and the nightclub. I also took out the honeymoon lot and the cafe that was across from it that served as a diner. I've now brought back the original diner lot but I've put a new diner on it instead.

Since I already had a wedding venue on the beach, the honeymoon lot was not really needed, but it sure was pretty.

I'm thinking of moving the city hall lot to where the school is and moving the school to the city hall lot. I found a cool school I wanted to use a long time ago before I got into making my own. The one I made is full of CC, and I want this file to be less stuffed with content, so I hope the new school will work out.

There are two big homes names "*** Lofts" that house the Roomies and Working Friends respectively, but finding the just right home for those lots were definitely a task to the point where I just renovated one that was close enough. To be honest I really love how I renewed the place, but the bulk of the work was done by the original creator. I just built off of what was there, but my tweaks are definitely top notch, I must say. So impressed I was with the first build that I duplicated, reversed the bottom floor rooms and then plopped it down on the adjacent lot so now it looks like a condo community. I'm sure that's what the game was going for and I like the idea so much, I want to make some townhomes on my own. I think the community could use more of those for storytelling.

To the lofts I added a pool and park lot in between them. Before it was 3 homes and a pool behind the middle home. But now it's 2 homes with a shared recreation are in between.

Those were the most significant tweaks I could remember. It would have been a good idea to post some photos. I'll be sure to get those when I jumped back in to edit again. So now with everything planned out, I created a new folder called "Custom Lots" where I have everything and any contents they have in there. In this sense, when I'm playing a new save file that I'm starting in Sunset Valley I could just pull from this folder to customize my town to my liking with what I want or don't want play with.

Next task is restyling my Sims (AGAIN). I have to do it only because I haven't moved all of the CC from my other save file which contains my CAS files - but they are merged! No way am I going through all of those to pick out hairs to use. So I'm only working with default CAS in this new save. I'm still going to add as many of the default hair replacements that I can.

I finally created my channel. I would've posted about it but I didn't have another video immediately edited and guess what? I somehow deleted the files I needed to make my third episode, which deems my second upload almost useless. I was a little hurt over losing those files, that I didn't even mention it to anyone and no one asked either. LOL So for now I'm just calling this a soft launch in the meantime and come Monday I'll be down to record again. I'm gonna just start over. It's not like I'm not used to it by now. Ha!

This feels good though. I've come a long way.

[elephantbitterhead]

DIY season is about to get under way over here, so you might want to block my house tag now

We're getting psychologically powered up to tear down 3 more walls and then insulate, rebuild, plaster, and paint them. As always, the real drama & freakouts reside in the plastering column, all of which (both the plastering & freakouts) will be performed solely by me since previous plastering projects have caused my co-renovator to swear off plastering forever. With luck, the following goals will be achieved:

all exterior walls will now be insulated

the phone line will be properly inside a wall, for possibly the first time in its tragic little life (we found it under wallpaper, but it currently just runs on the surface of the wall).

no more mice or mouse predators scuttling in secret wall cavities.

two annoying intermittent window leaks will be fixed.

most importantly, with the wall cavities properly closed up & stuffed full of sheep's wool, it will be significantly quieter in the bedroom and MAYBE I can finally sleep without earplugs when the wind is strong. I really hope this is the case, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up until we can put the new walls to the test. I can say that all the rooms in which we've redone the walls are indeed much quieter when it's windy.

Last year's work in the living room resulted in ZERO mice inside the house for the first time (maybe ever, definitely for us). The work we're about to do will address the last place they're skittering about inside the walls. I have no idea what they're doing in there -- probably just stealing our heat since they can no longer get inside the house proper to make off with seeds/crumbs/electronic devices/etc.

Once this wall project is done, there will be a short break & then if we can face the horrors we'll start wrecking the kitchen cabinets, counters, and floor. And THEN, god(s) willing, we will be done forever with anything that is not either maintenance or strictly optional. I suppose that technically the kitchen is optional, but in my heart it's necessary because the counter is just not up to the job. And, in my traditional Old-Lady-Who-Swallowed-a-Fly style, this means that since we're replacing the counter we might as well just do every other possible project in there at the same time.

[narcissistmomsurvivor]

Her nails in the coffin

I hope to God this is the final story of many that I have to fucking live with.

My dad died in late October of 2023. My mom divorced him over 20 years ago when I was 17 (he didn't want a divorce; but he too was under her narcissistic spell. She is such an awful woman and person, I honestly don't know what man in his right mind would ever willingly choose to be with such a woman).

When my dad died, my own mother wasn't even the one to tell me. My oldest sister broke the news to me. And she found out via text message from our narc mother. The text didn't even contain any trace of actual emotional care or consideration for how the news was broken-- it literally said "your dad was found dead in his apartment".

That in itself is a whole other story-- trying to wrangle the details of my dad's funeral arrangements from this mentally-deranged woman-- but as of this particular moment I'm livid for another reason.

Which is that my dad had a retirement pension from his military career which he wanted split 4 ways between the narc, my sisters, and I. And instead, my cunt of a mother is keeping all of it, and using it to renovate a house that I haven't even lived in since I was 21 and thought I could have a place to stay while I job hunted and got on my feet after undergrad. But even that was another traumatic and fucked up story I'll save for another post.

The woman who donated my chromosomes is a monster of a whole different variety. I am so done with the bullshit she does to me that I literally cannot wait until she is dead and can't keep doing shit that fucks me over and makes my life even worse.

I'm not even sure if she's just a narcissist-- she may very well be a full-blown sociopath at this point. Who tf steals from their own kids? Who tf has their own offspring so thoroughly brainwashed that 2/3 of her kids don't even care that their own mother is willingly keeping $10,000 that their father wanted each of them to have??? Like, who says "oh well. 🤷🏼‍♀️" to $10,000?

Not me, that's for sure. I'm fucking pissed.

So now, the whole world gets to know all about the sick and heartless bitch that created me, and every fucked up thing she has ever done to me.

If my stories resonate with your upbringing, I hope you can swiftly learn from them so that you don't get fucked over as often as I did.