#in response to someone pretty clearly talking about romantic fulfillment

[watermelinoe]

just because a woman can ignore being called a breeder doesn't make it acceptable for you to call her one

[novelmonger]

Why Steve Rogers and Sharon Carter are perfect for each other*

*With caveats: 1) a large portion of Sharon's personality and backstory I'll reference are my own creation, because the MCU keeps on forgetting she exists; 2) F&WS!Sharon is not the real Sharon but is a Skrull or comes from another dimension or something; and 3) the Steve who dances with Peggy at the end of Endgame is not the Steve I'm talking about. If any of this is confusing, please feel free to ask!

For starters, they're clearly attracted to each other, and it seems obvious they're interested in pursuing their relationship, which is more than I can say for some people that get shipped with Steve.

While attracted to each other, they don't let that get in the way of doing their job or fulfilling their responsibilities.

They have the same/similar sense of morals/justice (noticing something fishy about S.H.I.E.L.D. and standing up against it; breaking the law to save an innocent man's life).

The kind of person Steve needs in a partner (romantic or otherwise) is someone with compassion who will also challenge him when needed and not just crumble when the going gets tough. Sharon is usually gentle and kind, but she also doesn't take any crap and isn't afraid to speak up when it's necessary.

Steve has a tendency to not ask for help and try to do everything himself, because there have been so many times when there was no one to turn to, or he felt he had to prove he could do it when no one said he could. But Sharon doesn't wait to be asked for help. If she sees something that needs to be done, she takes the initiative and dives right in. That will be so important to their relationship, because Sharon won't let Steve do everything alone.

Steve's love language is Acts of Service, and Sharon has always struck me as the kind of person who would step up and help out as soon as she sees a need. Sharon's love language is Words of Affirmation, and Steve is surprisingly good at finding the right words to say to both inspire, and make someone feel good about themselves.

Sharon always interacts with Steve as Steve first, Captain America second. She doesn't fawn over him or expect him to be perfect, she doesn't pat herself on the back for managing to catch the eye of the world's first superhero. She just sees him for what he is: a man. That's got to be pretty rare for Steve, and would make her even more attractive to him.

What Sharon needs most in a partner is someone she can trust. Someone she can let her guard down around, who will be honest with her so they don't have to play guessing games. And Steve is as honest as they come. He's bad at lying, and he's always just himself around her, so any problems that arise are out in the open and they can work through them together.

Steve's first love was Peggy, and Sharon was really close to Peggy. Not only would she have heard lots of stories of what Steve is like, but she also would have been influenced by Peggy. Peggy is one of Sharon's most important role models, so the person that she wants to become (and is already well on her way to becoming) is exactly the sort of person Steve is looking for in the first place. No, they're not the same, and I don't think Steve would ever expect her to be. But the strength and kindness he admired in Peggy is also present in Sharon.

Steve and Sharon are both the kind of people who, once they make a commitment to someone, will not abandon them. This is perhaps the most important thing for a couple, because at the end of the day, no matter how compatible you are, no matter how "in love" you are or how much "chemistry" you have, what matters when the rubber meets the road is commitment. And Steve and Sharon are the kind of people who will put in the effort to make it work even when it's hard, even when other things change. Even when they both grow old and ugly and weak, they will be there for each other.

[linkspooky]

It’s Not a Love Triangle

Eren isn’t choosing romantically between Mikasa and Historia. In fact who Eren romantically likes is pretty much out of the question for him. He’s already said as much to Zeke, he doesn’t think it matters because he’s going to die in four years. He’s already stopped himself from having those feelings. However, not only is  Eren wavering between both girls written like a classical love triangle in a way the fandom has picked up on (and boy have they picked up on it), both of these girls clearly mean something to Eren. Eren is choosing between them in a way, but not romantically. Eren and Historia represent two different pathways Eren could have chosen. 

1. A Want vs Need Conflict

Historia kinda represents what Eren thinks he wants. Eren always gravitates towards his wants. [...]  Historia seems like the opposite of Mikasa. 

So, I’m paraphrasing here but this meta was written in response to an ask I received which pointed out this fact. Historia represents what Eren thinks he wants, and Historia is also the opposite of Mikasa. 

A Want vs. Need conflict. Explained. 

To understand want versus need, you’ll first need to know what each one means:

Want: something your character desires, because they believe it’ll improve their happiness.

Need: the lesson they need to learn to overcome their inner struggle and achieve true happiness.

Just like real people, your characters will have things in their life that make them unhappy, uncomfortable, or discontent. Their want is the thing they think will free them from these problems. On the other hand, their need is to learn and grow. This is how they’ll achieve true happiness, and how they’ll overcome the conflict of your story. [x]

So, Anon was picking up on that conflict. In a way Eren’s want being ‘freedom’ itself, kind of relates to this conflict. If a want is something a character thinks will free them from those problems, then Eren’s want is a quick and easy solution that will free him from the struggles he’s facing. Eren restates over and over again in the panels above that he wanted things to turn out this way. He wanted this conflict, he wanted to start it, he wanted to make it worse. In a way that is true. 

Historia represents what Eren thinks he wants. Eren keeps flashing back to two scenes when he is indecisive, either his childhood with Mikasa (wrapping the scarf around, seeing her by the tree the day the wall fell) or kissing the ring with HIstoria. The reason we keep coming back to kissing the ring is what Eren was thinking just as he kissed the ring. 

First when Eren’s indecisive about whether or not to tell everyone about the royal titan’s blood activating the control titan, his gaze lingers on MIkasa and Historia. He even talks about how his father had two wives, one of royal blood, and one who was just a regular girl he met on Paradis island. All while looking indecisively between MIkasa and Eren. It’s colored romantically, but it’s not. 

When Eren is about to kiss Historia’s ring he isn’t thinking about Historia in a romantic context. He’s thinking about how he wants to sacrifice his own life, but he doesn’t want Historia to sacrifice her life. 

Eren has always associated Historia with ideas of control, importance and agency he feels like he doesn’t have. Even the act of kissing the ring is like something a prince in a story book would do. Eren has always been especially bitter about the fact that he is just kind of a regular kid that all of this got thrust upon, rather than a person of import. 

Historia, and Zeke are both examples of characters who have lived lives that Eren thinks he wants. Zeke is propped up his whole life as a special person who is going to change the world and save the Eldian people, and this entirely wrecks him as a person. Historia’s circumstances in life were determined entirely by her birth. She was mistreated for being a bastard, she was abandoned for being a bastard, and even when she rose up as queen it was more because of her bloodline and how she could be used as a symbol to the people. 

It’s not just Eren being a baby about not feeling special enough though, it’s also how Eren copes. The fact is Eren has been made to feel powerless, and has lost people in circusmtances he can’t control again and again. This continual loss, and no lasting security makes Eren feel insecure as a person. Eren feels, incomplete and insufficient. 

He is made to feel continually unworthy of not only what others try to give him, but also he doesn’t think it’s even okay for him to survive and keep living when he was helpless to protect his mother. Carla tells him that he doesn’t need to do anything, all he needs to do is be born into this world to be loved. Yet, after losing her Eren feels himself as unworthy of even a mother’s love. He is continually feeling inferior over and over again, and Eren’s attempt to correct those feelings is, always, always, always. 

To make some grand desperate gesture like this. Eren swings between wanting to die in some big sacrifice to protect all of humanity, and wanting to kill everyone else, and both of those are very true to who he is at the same time... somehow. But, what’s important is both of them are kind of the same thing. 

I’m simplifying here, but you can look at my other meta for Eren’s psychological inner workings. Basically, Eren wants to do a big thing. Eren has been made to feel so helpless, and so useless for so long that his response is just as extreme as all of the stress he’s piled up and endured for so long. He wants to do a big thing, that will place him at the center of the narrative. 

These ideas, specialness, strength, importance, they all represent a control over their own lives Eren does not have. Even Historia gets to ascend as queen and gets political importance. Eren brushed against the idea that Historia might just be a normal girl in the Uprising Arc, but that’s also not the conclusion he landed on. We see his thoughts at the end, and he chooses to see HIstoria as a special, strong person again. Not only that but he sees Historia as having something he lacked. 

His statement is ironic because it also applies to Historia. Eren thought he was special, but everything special about him was just kind of happenstance. Eren just happened to inherit the attack titan because who he was born as. The same way Historia just happened to be born as someone with royal blood. In that way, Eren and Historia are both normal people. They were born into cirucmstances they can’t really control and they live reacting to those circumstances the same way as everybody else. Everybody, is a normal person, because everybody is born into this world. 

Eren is able to perceive for a moment that Historia is a normal girl, but also ultimately he’s not able to give that to her. And it’s because Eren and Historia are ultimately too similiar. When given the choice between playing a role, and being themselves they will try to choose playing a role because that’s their broken way of seizing agency in their own lives. It’s just Eren will pretend that he is important when he doesn’t and try to steal that for hismelf, and Historia will try to fulfill what other people expect of her. 

Eren could have perceived HIstoria as a normal girl, but I think ultimately he didn’t and it was because of this moment right here. Both Eren and Historia cope in a way where they try to be important. I think true rebellion for Historia would be declaring that she’s just going to be a person. You know a normal girl. That’s what she wants, but Historia will always deny what she wants and act in ways she thinks she wants instead. Or rather what she thinks other people want of her. 

Historia declaring that she’s the enemy of mankind is dramatic, but it’s really just flipping the narrative. Either way, if she’s the girl who sacrifices herself for the sake of mankind, or the enemy of all mankind who refuses to sacrifice Eren it’s just one extreme flipping for another. It’s still black and white thinking. 

Also if I were to simplify the goal of both Eren and Historia, it’s that they both want to live with pride, because as people they are fundamentally without pride. They are both insecure in themselves, their decisions, and choices. 

However, they don’t exactly understand what living what pride means. As characters both of them are kind of grasping. It honestly just means live with your choices whatever they are. However, Eren, Historia tend to see these things in big, sweeping dramatic narratives. So they think living with pride means, making these big decisions that affect the whole world. 

Basically, Eren and Historia are both lacking in pride because they see themselves as such little and insignificant people. So, they make choices that they think will give them pride. However, their ideas of pride also go hand in hand with unhealthy ideas of self sacrifice, taking everything on their shoulders alone, and also just... plain wanting to die. 

2. Family vs. Pride

Mikasa represents what Eren needs, but he thinks he can never have. Simply put, the narrative focuses on HIstoria’s connection to Eren when he talks about the unhealthy things he thinks he wants. Whereas, Mikasa always represents the connections in his life. 

Eren thinks he wants destruction. Eren thinks he wants hate. Eren thinks he wants to be the one to end the world. The same way that all along Eren thinks he’s wanted to kill all the titans. Eren’s moment of kissing the ring is shown again and again as the image associated with Eren coming to that decision. Whereas, Eren’s quiet moments of regret always linger around Mikasa. When he’s thinking of his friends happiness it’s Mikasa who is at the center of the picture looking towards him, at the same time as he’s about to go forward with Zeke and Historia, Zeke brings up the fact that MIkasa is probably just in love with him. 

Eren stops to ask Mikasa why she was following him around all this time. He asks Mikasa to see something in him that he can’t see in himself, because maybe, sort of he thinks it will give him a reason not to go if she can just soemhow say the right words to him. 

Everything human and vulnerable about himself he associates with MIkasa. When Eren is choosing to cut himself off from his friends so they cannot get in th way and stop him, and also he cannot stop himself he deliberately tries to make Mikasa hate him. He also states that he hates her. 

If Eren doesn’t love Mikasa. If Eren hates her in fact. Then Eren cuts off that vulnerability and weakness that might trip him up when he has to make the big decision to end the world. Eren is who he thinks he wants to be around Historia. Even when Eren breaks down in front of Historia, he’s still begging her to sacrifice himself so his death can save the world. 

There’s a parallel to these two scenes because Eren breaks down crying in front of both girls. 

Mikasa’s response is a gentle assertion that Eren didn’t need to be strong and protect her, he helped her just by being by her side, and living with her. It resembles Karla’s words that Eren doesn’t need to be anybody important, he’s already worthy of being loved just because he was born into this world.

Historia’s speech is much more complex than that, and it wavers between a selfless statement which is I will save someone crying if they are right in front of me that’s the way I want to live my life, and a much more selfish statement of LET’S FUCK THE WHOLE WORLD IF TI’S TELLING US TO SACRIFICE OURSELVES. However, I think it’s clear which part of the speech Eren picked up on, and it’s when Historia suggests they become the enemies of mankind together. 

Eren and Historia are people who desire to be loved for who they are, and be just normal people and have that be enough, but in the moment they will most often choose to be someone other than who they are. Mikasa makes the opposite choice of both of them. 

Mikasa chooses family over and over instead of pride. 

However, I don’t necessarily think this means that Mikasa is better as a person than HIstoria. It’s just what makes her different. Mikasa’s never really been insecure the same way Eren and Historia are. 

She already has plenty of pride, which is why it’s not a big concern for her. 

It’s also not a problem that HIstoria wants pride. That’s probably going to be the final and utlimate direction of her arc. It’s that HIstoria’s idea of living with pride is very messed up. She doesn’t know what living with pride is, and acts on what she thinks it is instead. 

Not only that Mikasa’s version of living with her family is very messed up as well. Mikasa has always, always, always been a very codpendent character. She thinks living with her family means prioritizing one person and following them around at the expense of everything else. She also thinks it’s fundamentally impossible to live without that person.

Mikasa’s primary difficulty as a character has always been finding some way to live on without Eren. However, she also wants to be close to Eren because she loves him. See it’s like a conflict. 

We’ve seen since Trost the conclusion she needs to reach that she can live on even without Eren. However, it’s difficult because Mikasa associates family, living, these things are things Eren gave her and not things she has for herself. It’s because these ideas are so tied up in Eren for her because of childhood trauma she has difficulty seeing them clearly.

She attributes too much of herself to Eren. Mikasa has difficulty seeing herself as a person apart from Eren, thus she becomes codependent. Mikasa wants family, but her idea of family is messed up and codependnet. Eren and Historia want pride, but their idea of pride is also messed up. 

However even though both girls are flawed, Mikasa is the one who represents the path of living. It’s been the central struggle of her arc since Trost. How can she continue to live in a world that is cruel. If Mikasa can’t do anything to make huge changes to the nature of the world, then how can Mikasa continue living inside of that world? 

For Eren there is two conflicting desires. There is what he thinks he wants and what will alleviate him of his struggles. That is, dying in a cool way. Then there’s what Eren actually needs which is to learn to live with himself and his flaws, and keep living even in a world that is far from his ideals. 

Eren at the moment is gravitating towards Historia. He chooses to confide his plan to destroy everything in her. He follows her words and decides to become the enemy of the world.

However, the one facing down a sea of titans to get to him is Mikasa. The one who ultimately stops him by reminding him of his humanity is going to be Mikasa. The one person who loves him as he is. Eren wants to be free from everything, but he’s forgotten that it’s your connections with other people that gives you the strength to carry on the burdens of life together and keep on living. 

[homestuckexamination]

Selfish Vs Unselfish

Jesus. Yeah I have nothing to comment here, I’m going to read this later when I haven’t just woken up.

You know the drill. Put it under ‘Read More’. A matter of perspective it can be, but there can be an objective truth to sort that out. Let me e x p a n d on this matter using Homestuck and some philosophy. And for those who missed the last ask on Active/Passive divide, please do remember that these labels are on a continuum, not strictly boxed categories. “UNSELFISH” or UNSELFISH - The passive classes lean more to this. How? By being group-oriented. Like support classes in RPGs, their asset comes mainly from a drive to benefit others. Roxy is one of the best examples of this. While she was passive-aggressive in her pursuit of romance, she is ultimately willing to put her self aside and bettering herself if that meant making sure the group stays together. She does this by, to quote Dirk, never turning the tables to make a talk about her when she knows her friend needs something.

TG: i was gonna say why i finally quit drinkin TG: i mean if you want to know GG: Yes. GG: Actually, once you did stop, it made me finally realize it was a problem for you for a long time. GG: And I didn’t say anything at the time, but it made me wonder if I wasn’t doing the right thing before. GG: By failing to point out you might have a problem? Or just going along with it and participating in lively banter any time you clearly had too much to drink? GG: Was I just being a bad friend? TG: nah it wasnt your responsibility to fix my shit TG: and anyway i think i made it hard for anyone to come at me like it was a real problem TG: i was always joking around so much and havin a good time like kind of overzealously so TG: that i probably just made people feel like a shitty wet blanket for even mentioning it

She wants to be of use to her group. However, the downside to this is that, as passively Roxy can be, she often needs them as well.

TG: and now dirk knows that too and for some reason letting him down feels like the worst part?? TG: which is equally lame and weak cuz i should care for my own sake not for how it makes a dude see me but it still just really bothers me ???

TG: i didnt want her to meet a sloppy embarrassing mess of a daughter

TG: even if she did like to drink at some point it was kind of a childish idea that doing so myself would make me closer to her or help us bond or whatever TG: anyway i think i might of overestimated her drinkin habits

How would you know if a class is truly passive when a character just been a really selfish a-hole through the story? It’s how they mainly rely on others as well. Let’s use Aranea as the main example of a selfish passive Sylph of Light that tries to emulate a Thief. Aranea says that Sylph is a healer type of class that involves boosting others, even excessively. However, while she claims that she merely wants to help and shepard the Alpha timeline by taking control of it, Meenah says otherwise. What Aranea has been doing is a self-aggrandizing act to get into the spotlight and not sit on the sidelines anymore, much like her fellow Serket. Like Kanaya, she is meddlesome. She asserts that what she does is for the good of all, even if that means doing something others would object to. They don’t want that. But, she does it anyway.

At first, she complies when the recipient refuses, but when it eventually comes to her ultimate takeover plan, everyone else comes second. She may believe that she’s just granting their wishes, but her underlying motive is ultimately selfish- albeit by excessively “helping” others for her own cause. Aranea failed to learn what Mindfang did:

“8ut as I sit here deciding what to do with the damna8le little sphere, I understand my error. It was not in failing to chart a course through future events to turn my fortune’s tide, even so many sweeps from now. It was in 8elieving the future was mind to know, and fortune mine to control.”

Now let’s use Rufioh and compare him to Roxy. Both of them are Rogues. Both of them are group-oriented characters that act selfishly from time-to-time. The difference is that Rufioh is more selfish. He’s extremely affable to the point of being a doormat to please others all while trying to be polite about romantic advances despite being a flirt himself. He’s reluctant to voice his own reason that he wants to leave his matespritship with Horuss. Sounds familiar? He’s the Jake of the love triangle. Rufioh cheated on Damara and never takes responsibility from it, focusing on Damara being a crazed scorned girl.

Passive players that fail to balance supporting others and fulfilling their own desires often end up being thrown in a loop. Forcing your solution solution on others for 'their own good’ is selfish. Your concern on how others perceive you may be sprouted from your own insecurity. Whenever you make a donation to the less fortunate, how can you be certain it’s not without the purpose of staving off guilt, doing it because it simply aligns with your moral code, or because it feels good? 

AG: I decided not to, 8ecause I didn’t want to 8e the one to make you sad about it.

AG: Was that selfish of me? I dunno.

It’s a gem to see volunteers whose instincts are to help people to make life more bearable, mind you. But they’re also doing that because they want to see them better and it’s often their own desire to do so and fulfill that dream.

ENLIGHTENED VS UNENLIGHTENED SELFISHNESS

-I’ve rambled on this a bit. Here’s a recap:

*Unenlightened Selfishness is… pretty much the archetypal self-centeredness that makes people jerks. It’s whenever you do something for yourself with little to no regard to other people’s desires. It’s the greedy shark hoarding all the treasure. It’s when you try to justify your actions with a perspective of “everyone else is selfish, so I’m entitled to be an asshole to everyone too”.

*Enlightened Selfishness or Enlightened Self-Interest is the opposite. It’s when you respect that everyone has their own wants and needs by compromising and coinciding them with your own. It’s like a deal. It’s the Golden Rule. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. It’s when you do things for other people for the good you’ll get from it, even when the payment is simple politeness and being generally nice. Society expects each individual to benefit the community in turn by working. We work with the expectation that others work for us. Unlike the first, this form of self-interest benefits both parties. Another term is Selfish Altruism.

We see an exercise of selfishness burning brightly through Vriska’s arc.

(VRISKA): I’m not a loser though! (VRISKA): I LIKE who I’ve 8ecome. (VRISKA): I actually feel happy and good a8out my life for the first time in… may8e forever?? (VRISKA): Like, ACTUALLY good a8out my life in a way that feels real, instead of forced. Don’t you realize that’s what it was like for us? VRISKA: You don’t have a life! VRISKA: You’re DEAD, remem8er? VRISKA: I’m the one with the life! VRISKA: And I fully intend to use it in a relevant and constructive way to help 8ring an end to all the horri8le shit that’s 8een going on for way too long. VRISKA: Remem8er when you used to care a8out that sort of thing? VRISKA: No, o8viously not. VRISKA: All you care a8out now is 8ullshit hipstery fashion trends, feeling “happy”, and… whatever the fuck it is you’re doing here? VRISKA: Frolicking with some horses in an ugly field or some shit. VRISKA: Just a8solutely disgraceful. VRISKA: How could I have 8ecome so selfish??

Vriska is accusing (Vriska) for being selfish despite being selfish herself. Remember her popular hero quote?

VRISKA: I only ever wanted to do the right thing no matter how it made people judge me, and I don’t need a magic ring to do that. VRISKA: You don’t have to 8e alive to make yourself relevant. VRISKA: And you don’t have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero. VRISKA: You just have to know who you are and stay true to that. VRISKA: So I’m going to keep fighting for people the only way I ever knew how.

VRISKA: 8y 8eing me.

And a few panels after that, she does this.

VRISKA: OHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! VRISKA: OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! VRISKA: WE’RE G8ING TO LOOK AT WH8T’S IN THIS CH8ST RIGHT N8W!!!!!!!! VRISKA: DO YOU HE8R ME Y8U F8CK? VRISKA: I D8DN’T SCRAPE AND CLAW MY W8Y 8ACK TO RELEV8NCE F8R THIS SHIT! VRISKA: I’M DOING S8METHING F8CKING IMPORTANT! AND WHEN I DO SOMETH8NG FUCKING IMPORT8NT, EVERY88DY 8ETTER D8MN WELL PAY ATT8NTION TO ME!!!!!!!!

Sure, her resurrection got everyone’s attention, but also annoyance. A lot of their personal problems aren’t truly solved, just put on a temporary chokehold by someone with a stubborn, assertive personality. She’s taking charge so that her team won’t be in poor condition for the big fight, but also to, well, be in the spotlight. She doesn’t care how others think of her, she just wants to help… but also because it makes her important, even if that means overpowering her friends, including her moirail Terezi. Vriska’s the active counterpart to Roxy in both class and aspect. A positive part of this is that it’s easier for Vriska and other folks like her to be self-driven.

…

What am I getting at? It’s a matter of intention. Are they doing it to mainly benefit others? Or are they acting to benefit themselves? Even if it’s grey, there’s often a tint or shade that’s lighter or darker that makes someone lean somewhere. It doesn’t matter how they see themselves and how they perceive their own actions, it’s their motivation that defines the line. Accidents don’t count. It’s the will. Looking at one’s intention is a way to objectively sift through the blurriness of it their actions, even when said intention is subconscious. You can also simply take the Active/Passive divide on strictly class roles in terms of RPG abilities alone if you’re not keen on the personalities of the bunch.

[himikiyo]

i’ve been on my lonely // himikiyo week day 5

Himikiyo Week Day 5: Skirt + Lipstick

“This kind of meddling is rather unlike you,” Kirumi remarked that evening. “Setting them up on a date?"

After seeing Korekiyo and Himiko dance around each other for so long, Rantaro takes things into his own hands.

Read on AO3, DRA, or under the cut.

It was that time of year again. The season of parties, reunions, and all manner of other Danganronpa events. They existed all year long for those who wished to embrace their celebrity status, of course, but even the disinterested among them were dragged into the lead up to a new season. Season 53 was one of the biggest hits in a generation.

Without really meaning to, Rantaro had fallen into the role of the group’s big brother figure. Ironic, considering his utter failure at it in his fictional backstory. He liked helping his friends though, found more fulfillment in that than working on his own problems. He didn’t get much time to bond with anyone during the killing game, but he’d more than made up for it.

At the moment, he was in the hotel room of one Yumeno Himiko. One of the most resentful of the fame bestowed on all of them, she always required a little extra encouragement in the days before big events. That...wasn’t always because of Team Danganronpa though.

“It’s okay to feel anxious about seeing them,” Rantaro said, summoning every bit of patient encouragement in his possession. “Or even to be looking forward to it. Other people’s grudges don’t need to affect what you do, you know.”

“It’s not like that!” she exclaimed, sounding downright panicked. The blush spreading across her face told a different story, along with the soft-looking plushie she was absentmindedly hugging. Even at a glance, the long, dark hair and green uniform were unmistakable. It was the official Shinguuji Korekiyo plush from the DR53 line. It had been one of the lower sellers, compared to others like Ouma or Saihara who were sold out for months. Himiko’s copy was clearly well-loved though, if she even went to the effort of bringing it along to a hotel.

“Are you sure?” He raised an eyebrow, letting his gaze drop to the plushie to tell her he noticed it.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Himiko argued back stubbornly. “It’s just something soft to hug. Theirs was on sale. It’s not like I kiss its forehead and tuck it into bed or something.”

“Mhm.” She definitely did exactly that. “Well, if you don’t care at all about seeing Shinguuji, I guess there’s no need to talk about it anymore, right?”

“Right. No need.”

“On another topic then, I know a good restaurant nearby. We could head over there for dinner tonight if you don’t have plans with anyone else.”

“Sure.” She perked up some then, plushie still securely in her arms. “That’d be good.”

“Then shall we meet in the park at 7:00?”

---

After leaving Himiko’s hotel room, Rantaro didn’t return to his own. No, he had another friend to pay a visit to.

“Amami-kun, what brings you here? I don’t recall making plans with anyone.” Korekiyo tilted their head in curiosity, hand coming up to cover their unmasked face. It seemed a subconscious gesture, a lingering instinct to keep from being seen. Himiko would surely know more about that than Rantaro though. He’d caught her looking at photos and tabloid articles about them more than once.

“Oh, no, we didn’t have any plans,” he said, chuckling softly. “I apologize for catching you off-guard, Shinguuji-san. In fact, I came here to find out if you’d be interested in making some.”

“Making plans with you? Ah, well, it’s kind of you to offer, but...”

“Hoping for someone else?” he asked. Just as predicted, Korekiyo’s eyes widened, a clear sign of someone whose true feelings had been discovered.

“I wouldn’t dream of being so rude,” they demurred. “It isn’t as though I have people lining up to spend time with me these days, yes? I should accept invitations as they come.”

“If you’re sure. I happen to know Himiko’s room number if you’d prefer to ask her.”

“I...it’s not like that. Even if I did wish to invite Yumeno-san out, she wants nothing to do with me. The same is true of most of our group.”

“Then do you want to grab dinner tonight? I know a great place nearby. We could meet in the park at 7:00?”

“That...would be acceptable. Thank you, Amami-kun.”

---

“This kind of meddling is rather unlike you,” Kirumi remarked that evening. “Setting them up on a date? That seems more like something Kaede might do.”

“Maybe I’m learning from her,” Rantaro said with a laugh. “It’s about time those two sort out their differences. They can claim to be at odds all they want, but they’re the only people who really believe they’re enemies. Well, maybe Chabashira-san too, but that’s more wishful thinking than anything else.”

“Here’s hoping it works out.” Offering him a mischievous grin from over the rim of her teacup, she added, “I owe Ouma-kun some money if they don’t get together by the end of the year, and it’s already fall.”

“I don’t think you have to worry.”

---

Where the hell was Rantaro? Himiko had arrived at the park right on time, but there was no sign of him anywhere. It wasn’t like him to be late or stand people up — not without a serious reason to do so. The park was relatively small, so it didn’t seem likely that she could have simply missed him.

Just as she was debating whether she should try to text him and ask where he was, she caught sight of someone out of the corner of her eye. Even before she turned her head to look though, she could tell that it wasn’t him. This figure was taller and didn’t radiate his relaxed confidence in the least.

Korekiyo? An unmasked Korekiyo at that. She still wasn’t used to them being more lax about face coverings these days.

“Oh, um, Shinguuji. What a coincidence seeing you here.” Her voice sounded forced and awkward even to herself. She wished the ground would just swallow her up and save her from needing to interact with them, but no amount of wishing would make that dream come true. The world seemed dead set on reminding her of her (unfortunate, tragic, hopeless) crush at every possible opportunity.

“There are no accidents in this world,” they replied, sounding ominous as usual. “And in any case, it shouldn’t be that surprising, yes? Seeing someone at a park mere moments from the hotel where you’re both staying isn’t a terribly unlikely thing to occur.”

“Well, yeah, I guess so. It doesn’t really matter, I was just making conversation or something.” Her voice trailed off more and more until it was barely a half-whispered mutter, any semblance of confidence stomped out by embarrassment. “Anyway, uh, I’m actually supposed to be meeting Rantaro here to go to dinner together. Have you seen him?”

“You’re supposed to be meeting with Amami-kun?”

“Is there something weird about that?” It was a defensive question, one that slipped out before she was able to stop herself. Surely Rantaro never let any of her secrets slip, right? There was no way Korekiyo could know what kinds of things she said about them to Rantaro.

“As a matter of fact, yes, there is something weird. I’m supposed to be meeting him for dinner too.”

“What?”

Instinctively, she glanced around looking for cameras or anything else that might hint at this being some kind of staged interaction. She wouldn’t put it past some of the entertainment industry to spring something like that on her unannounced. However, there was nothing, nor did she really think Korekiyo would play along with something like that. Of their group, they were one of the most resentful about what they’d been through. Understandably so.

“I was asked to meet him here at 7:00,” they said, briefly pulling out their phone to confirm the time again. “It seems Amami-kun may have double booked himself.”

“Why would he do that?” Himiko wondered aloud. “It isn’t like him to be so careless.”

“Ah, you two are close then? I did notice that you’re on a first name basis.” Kiyo gave her a placid look, fixing their already perfect hair. God, they really were unfairly pretty. So much so that she felt a pang of jealousy at the realization that anyone could look over and see exactly what she was seeing right now.

“No, not really.” They were wearing black lipstick instead of their usual red, and the striking green of their eyeshadow made their amber color even brighter than usual. “We’re friends, but I don’t know if I’d say we’re close. It’s pretty casual.”

“I see. I am not close to him either. In fact, I was rather surprised by his invitation today. If he decided to back out, it wouldn’t be much of a shock. I’m much less convinced he would do something like that to you though.”

“What does that mean?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “Why are we so different?” Their outfit was gorgeous too, almost all black but no less intriguing for the lack of variety. Her eyes couldn’t help but trace the lines of their slightly too long sleeves (impressive, given how lanky they were) and flowy skirt.

“You know exactly why. I don’t think I need to give you a refresher course on that, Yumeno-san.”

She just sighed, not sure what she was meant to say in response to that.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter what you think about it. Likely or not, he’s standing both of us up.”

“Unless...” The word was spoken so softly that Himiko wasn’t sure she was meant to hear it. Did they have some other idea about what could be going on?

Clearing their throat briefly, Kiyo continued. “If Amami-kun does turn out to be a no show...I suppose we could still go to the restaurant he chose. Together. If that’s something you’d be interested in.”

“Yeah.” She smiled softly, thinking of the Kiyo plushie snuggled up safe and sound in her hotel room. Could...this have been Rantaro’s plan all along? She still had her doubts about whether Kiyo returned her feelings, but they were asking her to dinner. “We could do that.”

---

By the time they’d been seated in a cozy, dimly lit corner, it was abundantly clear that the restaurant was a romantic one, meant to cater to couples on dates. If it hadn’t already been obvious that the whole situation was some sort of set up on Rantaro’s part, that would have cemented it. He wanted them to go on a date.

She was afraid of getting her hopes up.

“Seems like a nice place,” she remarked, fiddling with the edge of her menu. Aside from the quiet background noise of other patrons talking and soft music, the quiet at their table was deafening. Not much conversation happened on the walk over either, mainly small talk about their day to day lives and those of their fellow alumni.

“Yes, it does,” Kiyo echoed. “Not the sort of establishment I would have pegged Amami-kun as frequenting.” She wondered if they were nervous or if she was just imagining the signs of tension. The stiff slope of their shoulders, the tenuous edge to their voice...

“Yeah, maybe not his type of place. Does that mean it’s yours?”

“It could be. There’s beauty in things like this, even if I’ve grown somewhat disillusioned with humanity as a whole.”

“And...is anything else here your type?” The instant the words escaped her mouth, she felt mortified. A moment’s bravery had been enough to say something like that? It was all she could do not to slink down in shame, face hot as she took a sip of water. “Um, never mind actually, that was a silly question.”

“No, I don’t believe it was. There is something else here that’s my type, believe it or not.” The mood lighting made it difficult to tell for sure, despite the lack of their usual mask, but it seemed like they could have been blushing.

“Really? And are you going to tell me what?”

“I wonder,” they said, lips curving into a smile. “Do you have any suspicions?”

“I might. If I’m right about why Rantaro planned all this out, then that doesn’t leave too many options.” She was far from an expert at the art of flirtation, but she suspected the same might be true of them. As suave as they often managed to seem in the past, it was a facade, part of the character Team Danganronpa created for them. Or perhaps not even that. Even for the ‘ideal’ Korekiyo, the one that only ever existed on paper, that confidence wasn’t so genuine. Not to the extent of really being able to open up and be vulnerable.

It wasn’t the time to make herself sad thinking of what they had to go through. If they saw any accidental hints of pity in her eyes, it could ruin everything. All she could do was try her best at chasing after what she really wanted.

“Care to share your deductions, then?” Was it intentional, the way their hand was sliding closer to her along the table? They’d never been one to take the prospect of physical contact lightly.

“I’m no detective,” she said, needing to suppress a shiver when their fingertips just barely grazed her own. Their nail polish was black too, matching their lipstick. No rings of the sort Rantaro still tended to wear, but she had a feeling they’d suit them. Any kind of jewelry would be lucky to adorn them.

“I don’t believe you need to be. In fact, I’d say the answer is quite obvious.”

Himiko chuckled. Their fingers were tangling together in earnest now, unmistakable as anything but what it was — holding hands.

“I know everyone kind of pushes us to keep up certain appearances. The media, the fans...even our friends, whether they mean to or not. They expect things,” she said softly. It was why it didn’t take her long after the end of the killing game to figure out that she shouldn’t talk about Kiyo too much, or with anyone who couldn’t keep a secret. The others found her interest strange, even repulsive. They were supposed to be enemies, forced into that box largely by people who didn’t have anyone’s best interests at heart.

“Yes, they do,” Kiyo agreed. Rather than launching into a long, anthropology-tinted lecture as they might have been prone to doing in the past, they seemed content to simply listen and reflect on what she had to say, allowing her to talk and draw conclusions on her own.

“Not many people would be happy about the idea of us getting closer, but...” She glanced down at the table, at how nicely their hands fit together. There in the corner, none of the other people in the restaurant had noticed who they were. Danganronpa fans were everywhere, but that didn’t mean it was impossible to steal moments of peace.

“But you’re tired of organizing your life around what other people think, yes? And Amami-kun for one, though I can’t claim to know him on a very deep level, seems supportive. I would go as far as saying enthusiastic. I can’t recall anyone else attempting to pry about my romantic life.” They paused, then clarified, “Not with benign intentions, that is.”

“So you’d be interested in it too? Getting to know each other better instead of always acting like we’re still enemies?”

“I never considered you my enemy in the first place, Yumeno-san. I would be honored to be given that chance.”

There was no doubt those words were genuine. For someone who slipped so easily into the role of villain, Kiyo was remarkably free of malice towards...anyone, really, save for some Team Danganronpa higher ups.

“Then I guess we could even call this a date.”

Still clasping her hand, they lifted it just enough to brush a kiss over the back of it, leaving a barely noticeable smudge behind.

“That we could.”

[phdna]

Not the original anon, but can you bore me with your thoughts re Bucky and love interests?

lol Sure, I’ll bore you!

It’s entirely possible to make love interests be terrible writing decisions. I’m not saying it’s not. Marvel’s track record with romances is spotty at best and I won’t pretend it’s not. However, Bucky is one of the characters whose story at this point would naturally lead into a romance. Not necessarily! But possibly. Hear me out.

Bucky has always been shown to be very sociable, so even if trauma has changed him, I think having no one in the world anymore would make him feel lonely. I don’t think there’s exactly a support group for his particular brand of PTSD, nor do I think he’d necessarily be ready to seek that kind of help even if there was. Building friendships from scratch takes time. You know what’s easy? Flirting. It’s the emotional hunger equivalent of a snack, not a meal, of course - it’s not going to deeply fulfill him or whatever, but it’s probably within his comfort level, quick and easy. Despite what fanfiction culture says, you don’t always flirt or date hoping to find your soulmate! Sometimes just having fun for a few moments is alright. And hey, if you’re getting along particularly well with someone, why not see where that takes you? Bucky isn’t about to like, marry anyone, I don’t think, but if he connects with someone, I can see why he’d wanna pursue that and see where that leads. In addition to helping with the loneliness, I also think it’d make him feel more human - not because romantic love is what makes us human, but because the Winter Soldier under HYDRA definitely wouldn’t be allowed any kind of meaningful relationship, romantic or not.

And that leads me to - Bucky seems to be trying to recover his identity. Have you noticed how in every teaser he seems to Passionately Have An Opinion? Sometimes it’s serious, sometimes it isn’t, but he certainly isn’t the somewhat hesitant Bucky we’ve been seeing while he was recovering in the past few movies. Now, one of the things that is very associated with Bucky in the MCU (and in the comics, but that’s irrelevant) is that he used to enjoy flirting. It’s not even necessarily something he seems to want anything out of? He flirts with Peggy when she and Steve are clearly into each other, and there’s no way in hell Bucky was going to steal Steve’s girl just because he thought she was pretty. I think he flirts just because he can? Like, it’s fun, he doesn’t necessarily mean anything by it. So I have a feeling he might want to flirt just to see if that’s something he still enjoys. It’s a part of his identity that is very easy to reclaim, and it’s a baby step towards figuring out what has and hasn’t changed about himself. It’s so much easier to smirk at girls  than it is to, I don’t know, decide if he still wants to be a superhero, or visit the graves of family members, or talk to someone about his trauma.

I don’t know if Bucky would like, find his MCU long-term ship right now, but having a fling with someone (or someones) would not be forced now. It’s been years since he’s recovered his memories. It’s time he tries to get back into society, and I feel that out of every kind of relationship he could have, casual dates are the easiest for him to begin with. He can just not call back if he gets overwhelmed.

The natural consequence of that is that from a writing standpoint, showing Bucky wanting to turn something casual and playful into something more honest and vulnerable is a very efficient way to show he’s taking risks and trying to find a connection. I’m not saying that they will want to do that, but that if they do, it’s something that they can easily write organically and use to develop his character arc.

Personally, I always root for movies and shows to have less romantic subplots, so I’ll be thrilled if that is the case with TFatWS, but what I’m saying is that if they go for romantic subplots, they can very easily write a good one, which is infinitely better than forcing that kind of storyline just because there HAS to be a kiss somewhere in the show, you know what I mean?

Oh, and just for the record, I’m also very okay with Sam having a love interest, but for him, instead of being a space to explore human connections, that might feel like another responsibility on top of way too many, so I’m less confident in Marvel’s ability to write that convincingly. But it’s by no means impossible! If I see signs of it, I won’t panic that it’s doomed to be a bad storyline. I’ll just be slightly more skeptical than if it’s Bucky.

[aotopmha]

Notes on chapter 132, based on translations that are out.

-I like how Annie is written out on the character level. The chapter goes into detail considering her character motivations so far and why she decides to stay behind.

One thing I've noticed is people reducing Annie's character to her relationship with Armin now that it exists at all. It's like a knee-jerk reaction every time a female character ends up having a relationship with a male character. I understand it, stories tend to do that and I feel like the romantic element for Annie's and Armin's relationship is kind of out of nowhere myself, but this and the previous chapter clearly explore that Annie is tired of fighting after all of the fighting she has done and I think it makes sense for her as an individual character. It has nothing to do with Armin. Her main scenes in this chapter were actually with Mikasa and Reiner. It's a strange hyper-focus to me, I guess. It happens with Mikasa, too. You've got basically a good chunk of an arc focusing on the relationship between her and Armin with Eren doing his own thing (both Trost and Shiganshina), but she still only cares about Eren, I guess.

This is actually the first time Annie has considered her feelings and what she wants and that's good progress for a character that hates herself.

That said, having her back after 90 or so chapters and not having her actions matter that much here is wierd. The most I see as her plot importance right now is knocking sense into Reiner. I've seen people write the ship crew off already, but I can't help but feel they still might end up having more time and relevance because of paths or some other unforeseen circumstances. I think Gabi and Falco are in a similar situation, as well. If they don't, I think I will have a problem with Annie's involvement in the plot, but I think on a character level she's been handled just fine, even really solidly.

-I like that Floch dies with strong convictions and good intentions in mind. This is the most interesting aspect of Eren and the Yeagerists to me. They are doing this because they want to protect their country and people they love.

While people generally consider fascism as completely evil because of it's horrible methodology (as we also see in this series), the reason why it catches on during times of crisis is because it provides a clear and well-defined perspective within the chaos of the crisis and part of that is the element of saving the people (country) you love. This is a really important element of fascism and the reason why I'd rather not Eren be reduced to the standard villain, but still retain his nuance by the end. Evil is just as human and comes from just as human places as good and for us to not make the same mistakes, it is best to understand the mistakes on a human level and then learn from them, not just brush them off.

-I like Hange's death. It incorporates elements from both, Erwin's and Armin's, sacrifice. She went out there to make all of the deaths mean something and dedicated her heart one last time, which carried on Erwin's will till the end. The final scene of her among everyone is a wonderful callback to the soldiers who have followed the Survey Corps commanders around on their journey, from Erwin standing on the corpses of his comerades to both Erwin and Hange looking at their faces. It's good pathos in my eyes.

I think her farewell scene with Levi was really good for just how well it conveyed their relationship in a couple of gestures.

I've seen the final scene actually considered real and not symbolic of a job well done for Hange for the situation she was handed (which is what I think its narrative purpose was), which I personally think is one of the dumbest ideas I've seen around about the chapter because I think this is a pretty typical trope in war stories and AoT itself has used this stuff before at various points, with, as said, all the scenes with Erwin and Hange seeing their comerades.

But we also see stuff like Jean imagining him and the group of trainees being eaten by Titans before joining the Survey Corps just to convey a state of mind.

Erwin was not actually standing on those corpses, folks. It's all thematic imagery just like all of the animal stuff here and there. Hell, the people Hange knows less even have their backs turned to her.

If it is meant to be literal, it is extremely uncharacteristic of the story, but I feel if you know anything about visual storytelling and visual storytelling tropes, this is pretty typical.

I know there is also contention about Hange being the one to go out there and delay the Titans, but I don't think any of them would be able to do as much as Hange did alone here.

Onyakapon is obviously needed to fly the plane.

Reiner and Pieck would be pretty much useless in their Titan forms and we don't even know if Pieck can actually use the 3DMG, which is the more smarter option here to use over her tiny Titan form.

Connie and Jean going out there has nothing to do with their position in the story and their character arcs, while Hange is the one carrying the weight of the responsibility. Can you also really imagine Connie or Jean having the same competency taking down Titans as Hange, someone who has been doing it far longer than any of them?

Maybe Armin and Mikasa could. But that might leave the possibility of getting through to Eren off the table. I think what people also forget is that Eren still felt guilty when fighting them. Everyone Eren knows facing him might actually be a tactical advantage.

Hange does have a connection with Eren, but most of the group has a much stronger one with him than her.

Finally, there is Levi, who can't even stand up properly. I don't think he is fit enough to even hold off one Titan and as a result they would all be dead.

Outside of this group is also Annie, Yelena, Kiyomi and the two kids and only Annie feels the one equipped enough to take the distraction role.

But ultimately I think it's a thing of principle and character perspective.

Reiner and Annie can use the 3DMG in fairly skilled ways (they are higher ranked among the 104th), they have regenerative abilities and they are in a fairly good physical condition (though also probably much more exhausted than Hange). I think you could spin their character stories to fit this situation if you really wanted. Either of them could've gone to sacrifice themselves for the group to get away.

But Hange is the leader so she thinks she should take the responsibility. She straight-up says that she hasn't been a very efficent leader, so she views this as a redemption of sorts. Armin even offers to go instead of her.

You could paint it as plot convinience and be done with it, but just like Levi's decision to not inject Erwin, I think it makes sense on a character level and what Hange's character struggle has been about in this arc, even if it's not the most "logical" decision.

The other element that has contention related to Hange is that she passed the position of commander over to Armin.

In any other position, I would agree it to be Jean, but considering the context of going to fight Eren, I think Armin is fine and this to me is supported by the reasons Hange gives to appoint Armin as the commander.

Hange says that she appoints Armin because of his insight and courage.

The small detail that even if he's falling to pieces emotionally, he never actually runs away might be useful in the confrontation with Eren. Maybe he'll be overwhelmed and indecisive at points, which is why Jean could be more fitting, but ultimately he ends up at least facing the issue throughout however much turmoil.

While his ability to see the world through a more nuanced light and willingness to cooperate is not only a thematic way to contrast Eren and Armin (the former being stuck in his own perspective and the latter being willing to talk), his reasonings and wake-up calls might get through to Eren much more strongly because they have done so before, in Trost and in Shiganshina.

In any other situation I'd pick Jean, but here I think Armin is better or at the very least also a good option. It's not completely unreasonable.

I do not think this means any of the arcs of the characters are thrown under the bus. I feel everyone on the plane will get closure to their arcs. I think Jean's leadership ability will become relevant. I think Reiner's desire to be a hero will become relevant. I think Pieck's desire to fulfill her responsibility as a warrior will become relevant. I even think Connie's desire to kill Zeke will become relevant and finally so will Armin's and Mikasa's connection with Eren.

I'm much more worried about Zeke and Historia.

I think Historia is essential to make the thematic backbone of the story work. She's the first one among the Reiss to step up and break it. Why would she attempt to break the cycle by playing into it? I think Historia got another perspective of whatever Eren saw and might be working against that. Sadly it probably still involved letting Eren start the rumbling, but perhaps she found a way for it not to go all the way.

We know the oath of the First King is not actually a thing now because Ymir refused to comply, so who says Historia and paths Ymir can't have an encounter.

As a final note, I like the moment with Mikasa and Annie from Mikasa's perspective. The story opted to have Mikasa gain a more healthy perspective on Eren rather than complete independence from him and that can happen. You can go the independence route, but I think this works, too.

Relationships can change for the better and they can change for the worse.

All of this said, I think most of the content was nicely substantial and made sense, but that isn't the main issue I have with this chapter.

I think it has a pacing problem. Some scenes are just fine, but I feel some are a little too quick to have as much impact as I'd like them to have. Mainly Floch's and Hange's death scenes. The point behind them is good, but I think just a couple more pages of breathing room would've made this good chapter a great one.

I do think the anime giving this chapter just a little bit more time could definitely make it great and improve on the other ones where pace bothers me.

[sailormoonandme]

My thoughts regarding the Usagi/Mamoru age gap

I am writing this in response to this thread.

To be clear as crystal here, this is just my take on the situation.

With all that said, for the sake of argument let's say we are in total agreement that in real life a 14 year old middle schooler and a 17 year old college student shouldn't be dating.*

But that is the key phrase here: 'Real life'.

The thing is...there is no end of fairy tales or media aimed at children that at best start to fall apart or at worst become extremely creepy when you apply a realistic lens to it.

That is the joke about the majority of Disney's canon in fact. For instance, Aladdin was 18 whilst Jasmine was 16. I'm British and over here 16 is the legal age of consent for sex but even so I'm at least iffy on a 16 year old dating an 18 year old. And to trade off some of the comments elsewhere in the above linked thread, you could absolutely argue there was a 'mental gap' between Al and Jas given how she was a sheltered and somewhat naive princess who'd never left the palace and he was a streetwise older guy who'd obviously flirted and charmed his way out of trouble before.

But let's consider a different Disney classic, perhaps their most famous movie, the Lion King.

The Lion King is a beloved and rightly iconic movie but if you take it at face value and realistically (albeit ignoring the fact that animals can talk, sing and are capable of human emotions and cultural references) it's guilty of:

Promoting incest because Simba and Nala would have at best been first cousins (Nala being Scar's daughter) at worst brother and sister. Because that is how lions work. Male lions murder the cubs of other males with the possible exceptions of their brother's cubs where they co-rule a pride. Even with the best case scenario, deleted scenes had Scar try to make Nala his queen and those scenes were reinserted for the hit Broadway musical. So either a brother and sister hook up or two first cousins hook up and a Dad tried to have sex with his daughter.

Promoting racial/class segregation: The Hyenas are from the 'dark shadowy' place and are given traits you can easily interpret as associated with black, Hispanic, Latinex or mentally disabled people. They are also framed with Nazi imagery and it is Scar's decision to let them roam freely that causes famine. Simba beats them, they are forced back to 'where they came from' and all is well.

Promoting authoritarian absolute monarchies. That's the whole movie's plot. Simba must embrace his destiny as the 'rightful ruler' of the pridelands whereby all other animals bow down to him. It's not even like the lions are the ruling class and they are at least democratic amongst themselves, it's literally this ONE specific bloodline that is not only in charge but is SUPPOSED to be in charge. Even if the wrong person from that bloodline is in charge the entire land suffers until the 'right' person takes the throne. That's a pretty terrible and pretty anti-democratic message isn't it, and that's coming from someone who lives in a country WITH a monarchy.

And, I admit this one is a serious stretch, but you could even argue that it's saying two men raising a child is a detriment to said child. Because Timon and Pumba raise Simba into an adult and the movie is very clear that he's grown up wrong, he is not the person he should be because he's embraced Timon and Pumba's upbringing.

So you see...the Lion King is mega terrible.

Except it isn't.

Because we all have the cognitive ability and understanding to grasp that you are not SUPPOSED to take it that realistically nor at face value. Even as children we grasped that, hence the generation that grew up with the Lion King (by and large) obviously don't think incest is okay, don't oppose same sex couples raising children, don't think segregation is a good idea and clearly do not think monarchies are the bee's knees.

Maybe as kids people couldn't put it into words, but material like this essentially exists in this realm of symbolism, psychological shorthand if you will.

In fact all fairy tales do that.

And Sailor Moon IS a fairy tale, or at the very least it borrows a whole lot from fairy tales.

In addition to being a fairy tale though Sailor Moon is a wish fulfillment fantasy story intended for a female audience (or at least a predominantly female audience).

Now of course what one woman's wish fulfillment fantasy might be may not be another's and I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to argue that Sailor Moon even clicks with the wish fulfillment fantasies of MOST female audience members. But I think it's fair to say from the cultural impact it has had, and how it's fanbase is clearly mostly made up of women, that the wish fulfillment fantasy it offers clicks with a sizeable enough number of women.

The reverse is true of something intended as a male wish fulfillment fantasy. James Bond was obviously intended as a male wish fulfillment fantasy, and it's success speaks to how it clearly clicked with a sizable enough number of people. And I don't think I'm being overly presumptuous here when i say MOST of those people were male.**

Both SM and 007 are wish fulfillment power fantasies but they are also romantic/sexual fantasies too.***

I don't think it's unreasonable to argue that for a sizable number (but not necessarily the majority) of women, including the tween/teen girls SM was aimed at, having an OLDER lover is a romantic wish fulfillment fantasy. On the flipside I don't think it's unreasonable to argue that for a sizable number of men and boys having an endless string of casual and completely consequence free sexual encounters with (traditionally speaking) gorgeous women who find you incredibly attractive is a sexual wish fulfillment fantasy.

And the thing is BOTH those things can become bad when you apply a realistic lens to either of them.

James Bond's sex life realistically would involve at least a few sexually transmitted diseases, unintended pregnancies (one of which occurs in the novels) and at least a few callously broken hearts. Even when you look at it strictly from Bond's POV that life only seems glamorous at first glance. Perhaps it is a fun fantasy, but only when it remains in the realm of fantasy. Because in real life that kind of life if lived long term is ultimately incredibly empty and unfulfilling. Even James Bond media has acknowledged this because there have been occasions in the novels and films where he has at least attempted to settle down with a stable partner. Many Bond fans (understandably) decry this as undermining part of the appeal of the character hence Bond inevitably defaults back to being single because that is a baked in part of the wish fulfillment fantasy the character offers.

Let's consider some other ways the Sailor Moon anime offers a wish fulfillment fantasy, namely the future of Crystal Tokyo.

At first glance it seems wonderfully utopic right. It is a beautiful crystalline world where everyone lives in peace and harmony, hunger disease and even aging having been functionally eliminated.

Well, that isn’t the case if you apply a realistic lens to it.

It's an absolute monarchy wherein everyone is functionally immortal and children don't reach maturity even after 900 years. Chibi-Usa clearly chafes at this reality so how do you imagine other children (who aren't royalty) might feel? How might their parents feel having to raise their children and be responsible for them for centuries as opposed to around twentysomething years? What if you became immortal in your 80s, you might be a very healthy 80 year old but you aren't in the prime of your life and you are stuck that way for what is essentially forever. Not to mention what if you don't like or do not agree with Neo-Queen Serenity's policies? What if they are actively detrimental to you, your family, your livelihood, etc? You can't vote her out of power and you can't even hope for things to change because everyone is healthy, provided for and lives forever. The chances of someone else coming to power are at best very, very, very slim.

Then you have the fact that it’s surely a society that would’ve stagnated because everyone is provided for. That’s the whole point of a utopia. It is perfection. But what if you are someone who defined your live by striving for improvement? What if you were a doctor and now found yourself redundant. Sure, you might acknowledge that’s for the greater good but you are still yourself left completely without purpose in this world.

And that’s not even considering the inevitable monotony of existing for hundreds of years. Modern medicine and science has allowed human beings to extend their life spans FAR beyond how long we’d live if we were still just cave people. As biological organisms are concerned we never evolved to live for 80-90 years. Even if your body isn’t breaking down across the centuries the human mind would never realistically be able to cope with centuries worth of memories and life experiences. Mental illnesses and conditions would be rife. If nothing else living in that world would sooner or later become utterly BORING!

Hate to say it and obviously it doesn’t justify their methods, but the Black Moon Clan kind of have some valid points against the world of Crystal Tokyo. At least they do when you break things down REALISTICALLY.

And that’s my thesis here. Sailor Moon isn’t supposed to be dissected realistically, at least not to THAT degree. It is a wish fulfilment fairy tale fantasy and demands a certain amount of suspension of disbelief and understanding of what the fantasy is offering.

And for the record I can 100% assure that no teenager in real life has, or could, ever get into a harmful relationship with someone older than them BECAUSE they watched Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship in the anime.

The human mind is a very complex and very powerful thing. At a younger age it’s impressionable and can therefore be influenced. But it’s not so susceptible that the romantic relationships in a cartoon about schoolgirl super heroes is going to influence a viewer into making any major life decisions that OTHER factors weren’t also influencing them to do.

In other words if a real life 14 year old girl began dating a 17 year old college guy it would’ve happened regardless of whether they watched Sailor Moon as a child or not.

Indeed, one of my frustrations with the podcast Sailor Business is how many guests on the show cite how they liked Usagi and Mamoru as children but now think their relationship is bad and creepy. I disagree with them for the reasons I cited above, but the fact that those panellists nigh universally give that same narrative proves how nobody was ever going to be prompted to do anything potentially harmful to themselves in real life by the show.

*Personally speaking that is certainly my own off the cuff attitude.

**Not to dismiss the fans who aren't, same goes for the non-female SM fans.

***Although I think you could argue SM is more on the romance side of things and 007 on the sexual side of things.

[infinityactual]

Ok, angsty Lasky headcanon time. This is a long one, despite the fact that I wanted to keep it short. Please note, there is mention of sex, but there's nothing graphic or descriptive. If you want specifics you'll have to ask lol.

So, I don't have an exact timeline bc 343i said 'Dates for events in canon? What're those.' but within maybe 9 months, Tom has (in no particular order):

Lost his older brother, who he was close to bc they relied on each other growing up

Learned of the existence of ALIENS, whom are also bent on exterminating humanity

Been told by his mom he couldn't go to Cad's memorial

Learned he had the allergy to cytoprethaline which fucks him up pretty bad

Struggled to live up to the legacy his mom and brother left

Nearly been glassed

Nearly had a wholeass tether come down on him

Held Chyler when she died

All at the age of 15.

One thing I noticed that 98% of the time you see substance abuse, anger management problems or physical  self-harm as responses to trauma in fic. Which isn't a BAD thing, but those aren't the only sorts of unhealthy coping mechanisms.

One thing I'd heard about AGES ago was that sex can become a coping mechanism just like anything else, but it's almost never brought up because of the fucked societal views on sex in general, let alone the way society sees people who are promiscuous (regardless of reason).

So, in the wake of Circinus, Tom spends a few years dealing with and processing a lot: He has a year where he does nothing but try to get back to functionality, then goes to another academy to finish his education. But now instead of people having too many expectations, everyone treats him like he's fragile and needs things to be made easier for him, which just makes him feel shitty about himself and he ends up hiding a lot of how he truly feels and doesn't really deal with anything.

But Tom has exactly none of it. Cos in his mind, it's all performative. He's hurt, he's angry, he went through an emotional and mental meat grinder at fifteen, seeing and dealing with things a lot of grown adults don't have to face, and suffer chronic mental health problems when they do. He was probably still upset over his mom saying he couldn't go to the memorial for Cadmon and held on to that for a long time.

I have a lot of HCs for Audrey too, and one of those HCs is that she tried really hard to be there for Tom after Circinus. She'd just lost one son, and probably thought Tom was dead for several days at least, so getting him back in one piece would be a second chance that I think she'd jump at.

So, in his mind there's that anger, plus a sense of 'where was this when cadmon and I were growing up and needed you around???' It just sort of snowballs for a few years, piling on top of all the other shit he went through. So eventually at around 17-18, An Event occurs that I have yet to figure out, and he loses his shit and goes off on his mom. He's hurt and angry and irrational and not processing what he went through, so he says a lot of *really hurtful* things and then basically shuts her out when he goes off to flight school for Aviator training.

So, pilots are...generally a bunch of insufferable frat chads. So if you stick one severely traumatized kid in a barracks with a bunch like that, things are gonna spiral into the floor really fast. He wants to be left alone at first, but he's eventually pestered into trying clubbing.

Tom quickly finds out that nightclubs are absolute hell to him. The dark and the laser lights and the moving shapes he can't quite make out and the loud music just sends him straight back to Circinus. So he hangs out in quieter bars that are better lit, figures out he really likes fruity cocktails, and eventually he ends up going home with someone and discovers that over the course of this one-night-stand, he wasn't dwelling on his trauma and felt better for a little while. So, the next time the opportunity arises, he takes it.

Like any coping mechanism, it starts out not much of a problem but becomes pretty much a compulsion over time. He stays out later, drinks a little more, dresses more provocatively and becomes less and less picky about who he sleeps with.

Sex becomes his vice because not only does it make him feel good and provide a distraction, but fills that need for intimacy and closeness with someone, as well as his desire to feel wanted and sought out. It's all superficial, but he also just lost two people who were very important in his life (whether you see him and Chyler as romantic or not, she was still the first person to really treat him with any amount of kindness and support) so subconsciously he's afraid of connecting with anyone in a healthy, meaningful way because what if I lose them too.

While all this is going on, he's probably switched antidepressant meds a few times as well, but aside from that isn't really keeping up with his mental health.

And of course, things get worse and he takes more and more risks with his physical wellbeing till his poor decisions catch up with him and he ends up with a suspicious sore throat, and when he goes to medical abt it, he's given meds and told 'no partying for x days'.

Right about this time, the most recent meds he's on start to have an effect, and catching something is a reality check for him. the imposed 'no partying' restriction gives him time to start looking at things differrently, and finding meds that work for him helps get him started on dealing with things in a way that doesnt involve a lot of risky sex.

During the war, he still struggles with letting himself truly get attached to people, especially since he probably lost other people he knew, as friends or crewmates or both. And he carries a lot of shame and guilt over his actions in his early twenties; not because of the sex itself, but because he sought it out for the wrong reasons, using it as a substitute for things that would have been more fulfilling, but were (and in some ways, still are even by 2558) too scary for him then. He wasn't thinking clearly by a long shot, and that lack of control isn't something he's proud of. As such, this period of time is something he'll avoid talking about beyond "I was in a really bad place".

[frangipanidownunder]

Objects in the Mirror: fic

This is for my anon who asked: ‘what happens when Scully sees Mulder kissing someone else during their “separation”. This is set pre-season 10.

Willowy. That’s the first word that pops into Scully’s head. The second thought is that at least the woman isn’t a brunette too. Type, much, Mulder? The third thought is that it’s none of her business what Mulder does these days. None. At all. Unless it’s a health issue, he’s an adult. He’s not her…The mental conversation doesn’t supply a word so her brain leaps to the fourth thought, which is how the fuck could he do that? She stops short of adding ‘to her’, so she pulls herself back to the third thought, repeating like a mantra as she strides out, eyes to the sidewalk, desperate to unsee what she saw.

But now there’s a burning itch in her gut, the kind that used to see her pumping more rounds out at the firing range or sending local law enforcement officers running for cover with her machine-gun observations of their sub-par work. Pity she can’t blow her anger/disappointment/betrayal/jealousy off like that anymore; she’s no longer FBI.

Pity she can’t blow off being Scully.

She takes her writhing anger/disappointment/betrayal/jealousy into the café over the road and orders a large latte and a white chocolate and raspberry muffin. She knows she’ll regret it almost immediately and spend a week denying herself any other treats but she needs the sugar hit. Mulder’s still talking to Willow-Blonde, so while Scully’s waiting, she teases ‘Louis’ the barista with a slow smile, holding the seam of her wallet against her cheek, hugging her waist with the other arm and slowly twisting her torso side to side so that her hair falls over her face, then swings back off it again.

It’s a pointless mating dance. It’s reactive. She’s aware of that, but tries not to fall further down the Mulder-profiling-her rabbit hole. The slow-combustion of what she recognises as a misguided sense of dispossession is still taking place in her veins. She hates herself for this weakness but here she is swaying for a bearded barista. Louis blinks her way, finishing the latte art on her order with a flourish. For him, this ritual is part of his training. Keep the customers happy. Especially the older, professional women. They’re the ones who’ll return to the same café time and again, spending their disposable income on cakes and romantic hopes. She’d fuck him though. He’s pretty enough. She wonders what the male equivalent of willowy is. And then tells her mind to shut the fuck up.

Outside, where people are actually living with purpose, instead of imagining petty sex-revenge scenarios, the street is busy. Through the thrum, she spots Mulder again. His outline, his figure, is imprinted indelibly in her mind’s eye. She believes she could find him anywhere, in a ballgame crowd, in the darkened corner of a jazz club behind drifting dry ice, through the misty rain at the end of the yard, arm raised against the twisted apple tree, raging at the brutal sky above him. There was a time when she so desperately wanted him to return home from her imposed exile that she saw him everywhere: in the parking lot, at the line in the bank, across the street pushing someone else’s baby in a stroller.

“Latte for Day-nah,” Louis sings, and as he hands over the cup his fingers brush hers. They’re thin, girlish, two knuckles decorated with calligraphy tattoos. She doesn’t hold his eye, just whips the coffee and cake bag from his hand and heads outside.

The woman has gone but Mulder’s still there, brown paper cup in hand, sunglasses (those ugly sports ones he got from eBay because they were called SpookMeister, what? they’re so me, Scully) across that familiar, broad nose, hair an inch past unkempt and stubble on his chin that hides that fat bottom lip just a little too much. She dips her face to her own cup and watches a moment longer before a car pulls up and he climbs in.

He calls her later. She doesn’t answer the first time, lets the cell buzz and slide over the table top while his name flashes at her. When she does pick up, she feigns breathlessness and gets the desired response.

“Did I catch you at a bad time, Scully?” There’s disappointment laced through his words.

“No, it’s fine. Just doing a workout.” She wheezes out a cough for extra measure.

“Keeping fit for all those kids, huh? You’re a good doctor, Scully. Always going above and beyond for that place. I hope they know how deep your affections lie. Is there some kind of Olympic Games for paediatricians? The Doctors Games?”

It’s hard not to bite back, but they’ve played this game for so long their dysfunction is beat-perfect. “Keeping fit for one’s own personal health and wellbeing is a key component in living a fulfilling life, Mulder.” If only she could convince herself as easily as the words flow.

There’s a shuffle, a few clicks and bumps. He’s changing channels. “I wanted to let you know that I’ve found a new therapist. One that seems to really get me, you know?”

His tone seems genuine and she softens. “That’s good, Mulder.” Despite their issues, she’s only ever wanted him to be well. “I do want to know these things. As your physician…”

“Not that I didn’t like the other one you recommended, but,” he takes in a sharp breath as if to punctuate his point, “we’d run our course.”

She sinks into the chair, letting her head flop back on the rest. One step forward, two steps back. “How often do you see him?”

“You’re letting your unconscious bias show, Scully. Her.”

The small word stings like a needle. She refrains from asking him if she has blonde hair and legs like a foal.

“Fortnightly. We’re still at the heady getting to know you stage.” There’s a small silence where she imagines he’s assessing if he’s done enough damage yet. “She’s young enough to understand Instagram but mature enough to get Prince.”

She laughs gently. The tension diffuses again and she feels a rush of emotion. She can’t help herself. He drags her down then lifts her up with a simple switch of tone. “I saw you today. In town.”

“I do go out in the wild without my Ghillie suit sometimes, Scully. Why didn’t you say hello? I don’t bite.”

Not literally, she thinks. Well, not for a long time. She crosses her legs at the unexpected surge of arousal but the image of him kissing another woman creeps behind her eyes again. “It felt…” If he were here with her, in the same room, he’d lean in to her, tilt his head, quirk his lips, draw the truth from her. But there’s a distance more than miles between them and she can’t say the words. “I was running late.”

“That’s unlike you, Dr Punctual. Is everything okay?”

The way he switches from teasing to caring leaves her off-balance. She waits for the world to right itself.

“Can you schedule me in for an appointment, Scully? There’s something I’d like to talk to you about. Not medical. Are you free on the weekend?”

Tightness in her chest makes her breathing hitch. She adjusts the phone in her grip, gives herself time to respond. She’s faced mutants and monsters, her own mortality and his death, the loss of her children. Surely, his confession shouldn’t be elevated to those ranks. Yet her hands tremble and nausea roils in her stomach. Her brain rocks. It’s stupid, dumb to feel like this. She left him. She turned her back one last time and got herself away before the darkness swallowed her whole. The guilt that followed stripped her bare like a never-ending winter but recently she’s begun to feel the warmth of the sun on her skin again.

“Sure. I’ll come over,” she asserts. That way she can simply leave again. Walk the same walk.

“No, let me take you to dinner,” he says, unexpectedly. “That Thai place you like.”

Her sigh is sharp enough to graze her throat. He can’t be that insensitive as to invite her to eat at the same place they celebrated getting the keys to the house or her news about the job at Our Lady of Sorrows.

“Or the Ethiopian restaurant. You loved their shiro wat.”

“We could order pizza and stay home.” Home. She says it without thinking.

He chuckled. “Like the old days?”

“Something like that,” she says, knowing it will be anything but.

In the end, they agreed on a lunch at the vegetarian café and she orders an omelette she knows she won’t eat. He tucks into his feta and pumpkin quiche with salad and tells her he’s trying to eat cleaner. She doesn’t ask what’s brought on the change.

“What was it you wanted to tell me, Mulder? If it’s just to prove you’re finally paying attention to your diet, you’ve demonstrated it adequately. I believe you.” Her fingers clasp around a napkin and she twists it to a sharp point.

His expression is the same one he used for the victims of the most bizarre kind of crimes. She feels panic welling in her throat and crushes the napkin into a tight ball.

“I wanted to tell you that I met someone. I figured I owed you an explanation. Not an explanation, I mean I haven’t done anything wrong…fuck, this is hard,” he rubs the back of his neck. “Jeez. I feel like a teenager. I…I just didn’t want you to find out from someone else.” He pauses and she nods her head at him, encouraging him to finish, not only because he’s clearly still got stuff to get off her chest, but also because she just wants it over. “Not that anyone else knows because I don’t have friends…so, anyway. I…” The noise he makes is a sad laugh. For her or for him? “That’s, that’s my news.”

His fingers have crept across the table and they’re drumming on the surface, disturbing the small jug containing packets of sugar so that it chinks in time with his beat. He adds a low “sorry.”

If she takes a deep breath, what signal will that send? If she speaks too quickly, would that show a callous disinterest? She tries to smile but her lips refuse to co-operate. She’s never been good at hiding negative emotions, despite her tendency to stoicism. “How did you meet her?”

“Online,” he says. “Where else does someone who spends days at a time in his den meet other humans?”

He’s blushing and it’s charming and she hates it. “Is it serious?” The words are dry on her tongue.

He looks away and she tries to interpret the clench of his jaw. A beat. It softens and his mouth changes from grimace to lop-sided grin. “What does it mean if she left a copy of Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps on the coffee table?”

“Well,” she starts, trying to hold his eye despite a rush of conflicting emotions churning through her. “I would jump in the car and take it back to her, but I’m not sure how to get to her place.”

There’s a moment of shocked silence, then his head tips back and he laughs. She sips her tea and enjoys the sound. It always pleases her so profoundly to make him laugh. Not many people could claim to draw out true joy from Fox Mulder.

When he’s collected himself, he rubs his chin. “She took me out last week for coffee, took me out to tell me it was over. At least she did that, I suppose. She…she told me I was too insular. Can you believe that, Scully?” He plays for light. “According to her expert opinion of my psyche, that, I might add, she gleaned from two coffee dates and a meal at some over-priced French place where a dessert the size of a pin cost $50, I was still stuck in the past. With you.” He lowers his eyes and she rolls her lips together to stop herself from adding ‘and your demons and truths’. His shoulders move as he chuckles. “She didn’t really leave me that book, Scully. She didn’t come to the house.”

She’s stupidly relieved to hear that.

“It seemed wrong, somehow,” he says. “And it got me thinking, after her Dear John speech, that maybe this is what we’re…I’m destined for. A kind of relationship limbo. Prevented from going forward because I’m still snagged on a Scully branch. Do you think she’s right? If you…if you met someone, Scully, do you think you could give your whole self to that person?” He blinks slowly. “Or will there always be a small part of you left here?” He pats his chest with the side of his fist.

Her own heart speeds up. She’s had a few dates, a few flings. She hadn’t told him because he wasn’t in the headspace to process her attempts at moving on. And she can see now they were just ‘attempts’. There was an emptiness to the experience. And there’s a grain of truth to his question. It’s exposed just how indelibly tied they are because of their past.

She doesn’t answer him and he plays with the lollo rosso on his plate. “I like the weight of you in here.” He looks down to his heart. “It keeps me balanced.” A waiter retrieves their plates and Mulder watches her for the entire time he’s cleaning the table.

Her chest constricts, burns with such intensity that she’s certain her face is aflame. His fingers meet hers, mid-table, and she lets him squeeze them, such tenderness, such affection, so far removed from the angry, impotent man she’d left.

“Have we fucked each other up entirely, Scully?”

“Is that how she put it, your mystery woman?”

He grins. “I told her I liked being fucked up. It’s the only life I’ve ever known. That’s when she threw in the towel.”

“I don’t blame her,” she says, rubbing his knuckles. “Imagine meeting Spooky Mulder all grown up. At least back in the day your paranoia was justified. Government conspiracies and all.”

“If Dr Dana Scully had met me now, she wouldn’t have lasted one date with Ole Spook, would she?”

She lowers her head as she giggles. “You showed me many things, Mulder. Opened my eyes to wonders and closed them to the black and white life I’d known. I’m a better person because of you. I wouldn’t change a day.”

“You told me that once before.”

“And I still mean it.”

Outside, the day is cooling, sun leaching away behind thickening cloud. They walk in amiable silence down the street. There’s a bookshop she loves and he nods as she lingers at the door. Inside, the comforting smell of words on pages wafts over her and she browses the dark-shadowed shelves.

Mulder emerges with an armful of books from Squatchin’ for Novices to Meals for One. She swallows at the sight of that one. She’s picked up a mystery thriller, and couple of romances that he side-eyes. She bats him over the arm with one. Then she spies the main prize. She picks out two copies. A his and her pair. The teller scans them through and she hands one to Mulder.

He’s still laughing as they walk to their cars. He puts the other books on the passenger seat of his car and clasps his copy of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck to his chest.

“Shit is fucked,” she says, reading from the blurb.

“And we just have to live with it.” He drops a kiss on her head and smiles a full-wattage beam. “You’re still a good date, Scully.”

“You too,” she says. “And I’m glad you told me about…your…”

“Tiffany. That was her name.”

She can’t help the sharp burst of laughter that comes out. “I’m sorry,” she says. “That…was unexpected.”

He snugs a hand in his jeans pocket. “I know. It should have been a warning.”

“Well, unfortunate name aside, it’s good that you’re getting out there.”

“Out there. Where the truth is? I don’t think I’ll be doing it again in a hurry.”

She pulls a sympathetic face, reaches out to touch his arm. “I don’t want to be your snag, Mulder. I thought I was setting you free.”

“We’ll never be free of each other, Scully. And I don’t want to be free in that sense, not if it means never having days like this. I…miss you.” He bounces his toe off the ground and the lump in her throat wedges itself firm.

“I’d better be going,” she whispers. Turns to leave.

“Maybe we can make this a weekly thing,” he says after her. “Just two fuck-ups having lunch, you know?”

She stops, turns back around, smiling through her tears. “Maybe.” And she watches him in the rear-view mirror. Objects in the mirror may appear closer than they are, she thinks as she drives away, and sometimes, they actually are.

[echodrops]

Why You Should Be Shipping Shigaraki/Ochako

No, no, hang on a second--I see that side-eye you are throwing hard enough to ruin your peripheral vision. I feel the shade you’re casting like a thundercloud rolling in. But you didn’t read wrong. I meant what I said.

I’ve never made a secret of my love for rare pairs, but for once in my damn lonely shipper’s hellscape of a life I would love it if my favorite crack ship in a fandom had more than two fics (I’m NOT JOKING) to its name.

What can I do to correct this egregious oversight before the entire summer passes with nary a whisper of the most romantic ship since Juliet wherefore art thou’d Romeo?

Well, what else? I was forged in the fires of early 2000s’ fandom, and I know that desperate times call for desperate measures meticulously researched and extremely rose-tinted

Shipping Manifestos.

Fam, I am about to blow your minds, align your chakras, open your third eyes--because Shigaraki and Ochako is the most slept on ship in the entire BNHA fandom, and if you give me ten minutes like an hour (holy shit, this is long), I can prove it.

Disclaimer: @mistystarshine is the enabler who convinced me to write this but we were both enabled by @ohmytheon’s Reconfigure (on AO3) so you know who’s really responsible.

Spoilers to Chapter 231, watch out.

First off, I know what you’re thinking. Maybe you’re still reading from pure shock. Maybe you’re doubt-reading to get your daily fix of internet skepticism. Maybe you’re waiting for me to say these two characters are meant to be because she wears pink and his hair is blue. Maybe you’re already freaking out about age gaps but like that is what future fics and AUs are actually for!!!

I’m not telling you to give up your IzuOcha or Kacchako. I’m not gonna pry ShigaDabi out of your eager little villain stan hands. But if you’ve never considered multi-shipping, now is the time my friends, because I’m totally serious heartfelt here! I’ve got VALID reasons for shipping Shigako--ten of them, in fact:

1) Midoriya is taken for granted as Uraraka’s love interest--but Shigaraki is incredibly similar to him.

There are reams of meta on the parallels between Midoriya and Shigaraki, with plenty people noting how Horikoshi specifically set the two up as foils to examine similar character development despite their drastically different circumstances. Yet for all the meta pointing out that Shigaraki and Midoriya are basically the same character through a mirror darkly, I’ve never seen anyone bear that thought out to its logical conclusion: there are traits Uraraka admires in Midoriya that are extremely apparent in Shigaraki too.

Multiple times in the manga, Uraraka expresses admiration for Deku’s resolve and refusal to give up. His determination in the face of impossible odds and his sense of dedication to his cause are powerful motivating factors in Ochako’s storyline, and Deku’s behavior--his willingness to charge straight into danger and his unflinching pursuit of his goal to be #1--have basically become the standard to which Uraraka holds herself.

Her crush is literally founded on an appreciation for Midoriya’s drive, earnestness, and constant growth as a person.

But these are all traits that Shigaraki also explicitly possesses. Shigaraki’s unwavering resolve is so strong that even though everyone around him says dream is unattainable... they follow him anyway.

Ujiko flat out tells Shigaraki he’s chasing a pipe dream, but he’s willing to come along for the ride strictly because of how committed Shigaraki is to making that dream a reality. The strength of Tomura’s conviction alone persuaded a collection of the most volatile and difficult personalities in the manga to band together and become found family the most well-known anti-establishment organization in all of Japan.

Shigaraki never, even in the face of overwhelming threat, backs down from a challenge, and he approaches each impossible task with absolutely as much effort, ferocity, and refusal to quit as Deku. He is just as dedicated, just as much of a shounen protagonist main character, and just as willing to push himself above and beyond as Deku.

The traits that motivated Uraraka to become the character she is today, many of the exact same traits that formed her crush on Midoriya, are all there in Shigaraki. In another world, the person who inspired Uraraka to go “Plus Ultra” could be Tomura himself, and if 1) no sense of self-preservation, 2) ZERO CHILL, and 3) dogged obsession are what Uraraka finds attractive, Shigaraki clearly has 'em covered. Oh no, he’s meeting all my standards.

2) Being serious though, Ochako’s role in the plot would be vastly improved by more meaningful interactions with the antagonists, even if just in battle.

I’ve written before about how badly the writing of BNHA treats Ochako, and why her constantly being out-of-focus is a hallmark of the genre’s crippling inability to handle dynamic female characters, but it bears repeating: in her current position in the story, Uraraka’s character has minimal agency. She exists to fill the role of Deku’s love interest (at worst) and an emotional crutch (at best). Again, absolutely no hate on the IzuOcha ship--it’s clearly canon endgame and “wholesome” I guess is what they’re calling it nowadays. But the way IzuOcha’s being written in canon is actually the worst possible thing that could happen to Uraraka’s individual character, because Ochako’s crush on Deku has been given virtually no bearing on the story’s main plot and allows Horikoshi to consistently reduce Uraraka’s personal accomplishments to “inspirations from Deku” (in order to, likely, fulfill young male readers’ fantasy of having a girl fixated on them).

Is Uraraka about to do something cool in the manga? Wait for her comment about being motivated by Deku.

Does Uraraka actually get to see some action and get involved in a fight? Wait for someone to bring up her feelings for Deku.

Is Deku about to have a dramatic clash with the story’s villains to advance the main plotline? Wait for Ochako to entirely vanish (at worst) or get sidelined into a three panel clip where she’ll use the same martial art move she’s been using since like chapter 10 (at best).

If I have to read “Gunhead Martial Arts” one more fucking time... Give Ochako her OWN supermoves goddammit!!

The story of the comic itself continually pushes Ochako out of any position of relevance. She’s not one of UA’s strongest fighters (despite having a quirk that, if applied like ANY of the male characters, has incredible potential), she’s not given half the emotional depth or attention even side characters like Kirishima get, and her backstory lacks the development many of the male characters’ get (I’m looking at you, Todoroki).

As a “good girl,” she isn’t allowed to get her hands dirty like Toga, she isn’t allowed to get as bloodied or ugly as any of the boys, and she can never be allowed to surpass the main male characters in coolness or plot relevance because girls can be “heroes” but they can’t be The Hero™. (I’m literally gagging, guys.)

Which is EXACTLY why a plot involving Shigaraki and Ochako--in ANY capacity, even just a flat out fight against each other!--would actually be a fan-fucking-tastic addition to BNHA.

Skip the token Toga vs. Ochako chick fight where they squabble over who loves Izuku more. Let Toga talk to Izuku as herself for once. Let Uraraka throw down with the League’s leader. At least once, Horikoshi? Just once?

Literally any form of plot that puts Shigaraki and Ochako into contact would mean moving Uraraka into a more central position within the manga’s plot, would boost her screen-time, increase the likelihood of her contributing to the story’s primary conflict, and would give her more to do and emotionally engage with than just repeating the same lines about Deku being amazing on an endless loop. There is untapped character development potential in spades here if Uraraka was given chance to genuinely interact with the other half of the story’s cast!

Give👏 Uraraka👏 something👏 meaningful👏 to do!👏

Putting the story’s foremost female character on out there on the frontlines with the manga’s actual main character antagonist would finally break her out of the mold she’s been forced into by genre stereotypes and set her on an even playing field with the male heroes at last.

A meaningful encounter with Shigaraki could be Ochako’s ticket to being treated respectfully by the story itself (and hell if giving underappreciated characters a real place in the world isn’t Tomura’s freakin’ calling card already).

3) Okay, I know the words “subverting expectations” leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth nowadays, but there is a huge difference between “throwing inexplicable plot twists at the audience just for shock factor” and “averting stale cliches in an emotionally rewarding manner.” Sure, cliches do exist for a reason, but there are still many instances where actively avoiding a cliche plotline is a great choice. A shounen manga’s token love interest ending up with someone other than the hero--namely with a (reformed) villain--would be an interesting flip on the trite “hero gets the girl” script.

Look, we all know how it goes: Hero clashes with Bad Guy. They duke it out all over Kingdom Come. RIP like fifty square city blocks. The Hero wins, heads home triumphant, sweeps his Princess off her feet, and sails off into the hero rankings sunset. End of the same story we’ve seen a million times. Sometimes it’s done well and the audience is left satisfied. Other times, the heroine involved is reduced to the hero’s reward, less person than wish fulfillment. In either case, tying up a romantic subplot with a hero is the go-to way of resolving female characters’ storylines and, at this point, pretty much a given in manga, even when the romantic subplot is never given the development it deserves, leaving audiences bewildered at how and why the hook-up actually happened.

I’m not saying every comic should “subvert expectations” and cancel its romantic subplot between the hero and heroine, of course not. But I am saying that it would be pretty refreshing to see something else for once.

By virtue of their role, villains don’t usually “get the girl.” Even redeemed villains rarely end up in happy, healthy, well-written relationships. It’s not impossible but it is unlikely that a series’ designated female lead ever wavers in her attentions from the main hero to a new romantic target.

So it would be pretty cool if one did, if the moral of the story’s romantic subplot wasn’t just "token love interest completes painfully shoehorned romantic gestures.” A good romance with a redeemed ex-villain instead of a hero would take a lot more explanation. It would demand, by its very nature, more work on the author’s part to suspend disbelief. The characters would have to develop an entirely different rapport from the normal interactions between designated love interests, and, to a certain extent, strong character growth would be required in order for such a romance to even get started. There’s more moral complexity and conflict to a subplot like this, and a greater sensation of choice--if the heroine doesn’t have to end with the hero by the end of the story, well hey... That means she could end up with just about anyone. Whoa.

Even more so, in the specific case of Shigaraki, who has lived a life of misery and manipulation, the idea that he could come out on the other side, grow as a person, redeem himself, and eventually enter a healthy relationship with someone who isn’t going to hurt him is an idea I find deeply appealing. I think there are a lot of villain stans, myself included, who see parts of themselves in Shigaraki. If a character who has been so severely impacted by abuse can still heal and ultimately end up happy, to me, that’s a far more hopeful and heart-warming conclusion than the alternatives. I did warn you this manifesto would be rose-tinted, didn’t I?

I want storylines that prove that none of us are beyond saving. That people who make bad choices can still change. That romance isn’t a reward for playing the “right” role. That heroines have options. That there are still pleasant surprises to be found in romance plots.

4) But why Shigaraki and Ochako, in particular? It’s not like they have any remotely shared life experiences--

Oops. Friendly reminder: Ochako is the only major character in the manga besides the villains who is overtly described as, I quote, “poorer than poor.” Todoroki, Yaomomo, and Iida can all make it rain; Kaminari, Mina, and Jirou can afford stylish clothes; Kirishima can drop a stupid amount on night vision googles... Even Midoriya, whose father “works overseas,“ can afford plenty of All Might merchandise. One of the popular fandom theories for a while was that Ochako could be U.A.’s traitor specifically because of her desire to help her parents financially, and I think that most readers at this point can discern a clear divide in BNHA’s society: heroes are the “haves” and villains are the “have nots.” To be a hero in this story is to attend a prestigious school, have access to expensive support items, gear, insurance, fame and glory, etc.

Meanwhile, with the exception of All For One, to be a villain in BNHA’s story is to be marginalized, live in unfit conditions, lack access to basic safety and nutritional resources, and struggle to make ends meet. When ability to thrive in a hero-centric society is synonymous with being a good and worthwhile person, anyone who doesn’t just naturally excel in the hero-driven economy is treated as flawed at best and suspect at worst. Poor characters in the story are ignored, and, as demonstrated with people like Twice, left essentially to fend for themselves.

Uraraka’s status as lower income is mostly played for laughs. She’s still a privileged character in that she can attend U.A., receive hero items for free, has a safe place to live, etc. But it is important that the story acknowledges her family’s situation, because her financial status does set her apart from her classmates.

She is less privileged than the others. Being “the poor character” situates Uraraka in the interesting divide between those who couldn’t cope and chose to rebel against hero society instead, versus those who conformed to the hero system in an attempt to improve their situations. In different circumstances, if Uraraka’s family was just even the tiniest bit worse off, we might be seeing a very different character here, one who had to make some much harder choices to keep her family afloat.

Having been in the position of "going without,” Uraraka also has a unique understanding of the “real world” that many of her heroics classmates might lack. She understands what it is like to go hungry, to not be able to afford to keep up with the newest trends, to be constantly anxious about the future--to feel unsuccessful, overlooked, and under constant pressure to perform. As someone who wasn’t raised in the lap of luxury or even really a middle-class home, Uraraka has more insight into--and would likely have more empathy for--the plight of the downtrodden daily criminals of the BNHA world. Just based on her own life experiences, Ochako is more likely than her classmates to recognize how harsh reality can be, and understand the temptations that lead people to make terrible decisions.

This makes Ochako an especially interesting character in terms of her pro hero future. Would she be able to sympathize and reach out to struggling "villains” more effectively than others from her class, who lack her humble background? Would she be able to better see the big picture of BNHA’s society, and the way it actively creates villains from its marginalized populations? Would she be able to look at the League not just as criminals, but also as people who never stood a chance within the confines of a rigged social structure?

Uraraka’s background shifts her closer to the story’s villains than many of the other hero characters, and puts her in a unique place to both empathize and become motivated to change the flawed system that produced people like Shigaraki and the League in the first place.

5) Likewise, Uraraka’s background actually makes her more palatable to Shigaraki than other heroes. At least at the beginning of the comic, Uraraka isn’t shy about admitting that one of her reasons for becoming a hero is to help her parents financially. Ochako’s original motivation for heroism isn’t portrayed as nobly as others’ like Deku--Deku has no ulterior motives for being a hero; he just wants to save people and wouldn’t care about personally benefiting.

Instead, Ochako is presented as someone who (initially) sees heroism as a means to an end. It’s not that she doesn’t want to save people, but that she’s not doing so only for the intrinsic worth... the hefty paycheck that comes from heroism is a big draw.

Over time the manga has shown her shifting away from this (which actually makes her character less unique, unfortunately), but I’m sure it’s still a thought for her, and she’s definitely going to send paychecks to her parents in the future. At the end of the day, heroism is still going to be Uraraka’s ticket to a better lifestyle, even if she’s committed herself to it honestly by the time she leaves U.A.

But it’s this exact form of personal motivation that Shigaraki is much more likely to understand than the “goody-two-shoes” motivations of people like Deku. Multiple times in the comic Shigaraki has expressed confusion with society’s habit of clinging mindlessly to symbols, of their blind faith in the virtues of heroism, and their ability to simply overlook suffering because “surely a hero will do something about it.” Stain’s ideals about “true heroes” go straight past Shigaraki, who seems to hate heroes who are earnest (All Might, I’m talking about All Might) far more than those who are simply faking their way through for fame. 

Shigaraki understands humans who are driven by personal gain. He respects the individual desires of people he cares about. Someone in the hero industry explicitly seeking tangible benefits would likely, to Shigaraki at least, come across as more genuine than someone who claims they have no ulterior motives, and a person who is blunt about their needs and grounded in the reality of BNHA’s world would likely be much more acceptable to Tomura than someone who spews trite lines about peace and justice.

Shigaraki’s feelings for heroes have been irreparably damaged by his conditioning from All For One, but there are certainly some heroes that he would find less loathsome than others. He will probably never understand Deku’s selflessness. All Might’s saccharine symbolism actively infuriates him. But a person who became a hero to put food on the table? To provide for her parents (maybe especially because it is her parents she’s trying to provide for)? That’s at least understandable. If the manga’s future does see Shigaraki redeemed, my thought is that the only type of heroes we’ll ever see him willingly interact with would still be heroes just like Ochako, with more “down to earth” personal motivations. Uraraka, your codename is “If I had to date a hero”...

6) While we’re talking about shared life experiences, there’s another very obvious similarity between Shigaraki and Ochako: neither one of them can touch things with all five fingers.

Cute/fridge horror observation: Shigaraki is even daintier about touching things than Uraraka is; Uraraka usually lifts just her pinkies, but Shigaraki frequently uses as few fingers as possible.

Yeah, yeah, they both have to be dainty and careful with everything they hold. It’d be cute to watch them eat together. They could mutually gripe about the annoyance of video game consoles not designed for four-finger use. More than that though, neither one of them can touch other human beings without the risk of causing death.

Uraraka, as a hero, has the more privileged quirk design (she can turn her quirk off, while Shigaraki can’t) and until recently, the comic was always very careful to portray Uraraka’s quirk in a way that no one was endangered by it. But dropping Zero Gravity into the hands of a villain for a single chapter reveals the truth: Uraraka’s quirk has just as much lethal potential as Shigaraki’s.

Like Shigaraki, Uraraka has to face the reality that her touch alone could jeopardize the safety of anyone she comes into contact with, in her daily life and in her hero work. Drop some debris without looking twice? Just crushed a civilian. Release your quirk without thinking? Now the villain you floated is paste on the sidewalk. Thought that it was safe to float away the building? Oops, you crushed someone still trapped inside. Yikes. In a one-on-one battle, Uraraka is actually at a disadvantage not because her quirk is weak, but the dead opposite--in an outdoor fight, she would have to actively work not to accidentally send people off into outer space.

Having an auto-activate touch quirk means that both Shigaraki and Ochako have to be conscious of every single thing they touch all the time. Both of their quirks require constant bodily awareness, and both come with the lurking knowledge that “My touch causes problems.” Even for Ochako, who would merely be a nuisance if she accidentally floated objects indoors, it’s easy to internalize frustration and negative associations with one’s own body. Every day, Ochako has to be careful with herself in a way that few of her peers do, another factor that sets her apart.

One of the story’s overarching themes is the idea of “self-acceptance” and what it even means to “accept yourself” in a world where (almost) every human being possesses a distinguishing feature, often built into their bodies at the expense of standard human functioning. For people with limited control over their quirks, who can’t choose when the effect activates, a quirk is a constant burden and facet of their identity that entirely re-shapes how they interact with the world. Both Shigaraki and Uraraka face the practicality of having burdensome, even lethal, auto-activate quirks that require constant self-awareness. This is a similarity that, of the major characters, only Shigaraki and Ochako possess so far. (Even other major characters with touch-based quirks like Overhaul appear to be able to choose when to activate their quirks).

The “funny” way Shigaraki and Ochako hold things seems like just a small similarity until you remember the amount of practice and frustration it must have taken to internalize a four-fingered touch. Until you remember that this similarity marks them both as very careful and self-conscious characters. Until you remember that Shigaraki’s got a one-touch instakill... but so does Uraraka Ochako.

7) Okay, similarities are cool and all, but you know what they say: opposites attract. And if we’re talking character motivation, there are no cleaner opposites in the entire series. Shigaraki and Ochako are actually even better emotional foils than Shigaraki and Deku, because Ochako’s central motivation is “Make as many people smile as possible” and Shigaraki’s is, literally, “Make it so no one can ever smile again.”

I know I ragged on it earlier, but now I’m going to use it to my full advantage: as the story evolved and characters grew, Ochako’s “true” motivation to become a hero revealed itself: she feels a deep, intrinsic happiness when witnessing the happiness of others. Her desire as a hero is to spread relief, the sense of security that allows people to go about their days smiling. She literally feels happiest when everyone around her is happy.

Even more so than Deku, this casts Uraraka as Shigaraki’s diametric opposite in the story, because Shigaraki’s entire pipe dream goal also hinges on the smiles of others--and how absolutely much he hates them. Shigaraki’s goal is total world destruction because he just resents the happiness of others that fucking much.

On the surface alone it’s more fascinating than the story will probably ever live up to: Ochako, the heroine who wants to spread smiles; Shigaraki, the villain who wants to destroy them. Even if we’re just talking canon, zero romance involved, that would still be an interesting conflict to explore. The story could cover a lot of deeper ground by drawing the comparison between these two characters more directly. It would definitely validate Uraraka being involved in more major plot events, at the very least.

BUT this was supposed to be about shipping, so of course I can’t leave it there, and leaving it there would only be half the story anyway, because nobody is born hating smiles. Everything we’ve seen of Shigaraki’s past so far indicates that he was a kid with a cute dog, a warm relationship with his sister, and an interest in heroes--i.e., a decent life that probably included his own fair share of smiles. Shigaraki’s hatred and resentment are direct products of the traumatic manipulation he suffered at AFO’s hands. He despises the idea that people around him can smile and act upbeat, even when they objectively know villains are lurking all around them. He is actually sick to his stomach at the idea of people blindly putting their faith in heroes, knowing what he does: that heroes often fail, that there are many people who desperately need to be rescued and are instead overlooked. The world failed Shimura Tenko and then had the nerve to keep on smiling without him.

Other people’s smiles represent nothing but the joy, security, love, and peace that Shigaraki Tomura hasn’t experienced since the day his quirk manifested. The sight of any living thing fills Shigaraki with rage because everything bright and beautiful, everything good and calm and kind and soft and warm, is everything that Shigaraki has lost and believes he will never, ever get to experience again.

Shigaraki doesn’t really hate the pure happy smiles of others; he hates the fact that the world has taken away every single thing he ever had to smile about.

It is my belief that Horikoshi is hinting at a redemption arc for Shigaraki, especially as we see the League become closer allies. But Shigaraki can’t be completely redeemed, can’t be persuaded to give up his world-destruction plan, until he can look at the smiles of others without scorn. Until the bright, upbeat attitudes of heroes other people no longer feel like a personal attack. Until he’s happy enough that the happiness of others no longer hurts. Until the weight is lifted.

And I can’t think of any character more obviously suited to helping lift an immense weight than Uraraka, the zero gravity hero who wants nothing more than to spread smiles.

8) Speaking of lifting weights... Kacchako is a popular ship stemming in large part from Bakugou’s refusal to treat Uraraka with kid gloves. He faces her head-on as a real opponent and views her like any other hero hopeful.

As I’ve said before, this is pretty much the most respectfully the series itself has ever treated Uraraka Ochako, and it caught a lot of attention because it was one of the rare occasions that a female pro hero-in-training was really treated as an equal to the male characters. Kacchako shippers had something awesome to work with.

But... You know who else treats women as equals? (Hell, you know who treats literally everyone as equals, from those with mutant quirks to trans people to those with severe mental health issues?) You can say what you want about Shigaraki’s habit of, you know, mass murder, but in terms of viewing others equally and respecting (okay, let’s be real, it’s probably closer to just ignoring) differences, Tomura is about as open-minded as BNHA characters come. The League is an equal opportunity employer.

Unlike actual hero characters, Shigaraki has never once suggested that Toga is incapable of keeping up with any of the male members of the League, and in fact has entrusted her with many of the League’s most dangerous and crucial missions. He explicitly has faith in her ability and skill.

Toga’s right there in the fight against Gigantomachia and the QLA, as much an equal member of the League as anyone else. In terms of gender equality, the villains seem to be light-years ahead of their hero counterparts, and Shigaraki in particular doesn’t discriminate, among his allies or his opponents either. He’s not a “spare the women and children” kind of guy; every hero and villain challenger is treated with equal violence (and equal snark), whether they’re male, female, a long-time pro or a student in training.

In whatever context--canon opponent, AU ally, or a future romantic interest--Shigaraki would take Ochako just as seriously as Bakugou did. If you like Kacchako because Bakugou doesn’t dismiss Uraraka, that same dynamic would be present in Shigako too.

9) And on the topic of Shigaraki and women... It doesn’t feel accidental that every single female character who ever had love for Shigaraki has been taken away from him. A distinct part of Shigaraki’s storyline is that all positive female role models have been systematically removed from his life. He lost his grandmother, a hero he could have looked up to; he lost his mother, who he now has no memory of; he lost the older sister he clearly held dear... All For One’s control over Tomura has always been total, but this particular detail feels especially insidious: was All For One’s spite for Nana so strong that he delighted in deliberately destroying every single relationship Tenko had with women connected to Nana’s legacy? (Or is AFO perhaps just a raging misogynist? Every single one of his known associates is male and he seemed to despise and mock Nana particularly hard...)

In any case, the point I’m trying to make here is that, even ruling love interests out, Shigaraki’s storyline would be enriched by forging a meaningful connection with a female character like Ochako. Acceptance--maybe even some grudging admiration--for a female hero? A fantastic opportunity to show just how different the “villains” are from the discriminatory society that produced them. Supporting friendship while he’s on the road to recovery? A+ way to diversify interactions between the male and female cast. Send a tough girl to Tartarus to question his motives? Nice chance for tense dialogue and some good old noire-esque foe yay. Hostage situation that takes a turn for the surprisingly cordial? Fun way to explore different dynamics and humanize the villains because hey, they treated the “damsel” to dinner shortbread cookies. My god, Shigaraki could even develop some positive sense of rivalry with a woman, for example! The possibilities are endless if you’re actually willing to give female characters a shot!

Being more serious, Tomura’s life has been dramatically marked by the loss of his female family members, and--at least from what we know so far--his entire youth was spent without the presence of reliable friendships, let alone any form of “love” that wasn’t disturbingly fake. Beyond his fragmented memories, he has no models for healthy relationships, romantic or otherwise.

Letting Shigaraki develop to the point that he could form a mutually positive relationship with a female hero character would be extremely cathartic for me as a reader. I don’t mean “rewarding redemption with a last-minute happy ending romance”--I mean actually getting the opportunity to watch Tomura rediscover what it means to be genuinely loved and realize he has the capacity to give love and be happy in return...

Reaching that level of mutual support and closeness--especially with a female pro hero--would be the biggest “FUCK YOU” that Shigaraki could give to All For One, short of, you know, actually killing him.

Shigaraki Tomura has a critical (and deliberate) lack of healthy connections to women. BNHA, coincidentally, has a criminally under-utilized female lead just twiddling her thumbs over here, waiting for a meaningful plotline to be thrown her way.

Sure, putting AFO in prison is cool and all, but have you considered... crushing his pride and legacy of evil by helping the boy he tortured for years learn to love again? I’m just sayin’!

Uraraka Ochako, snatching Shigaraki right the fuck out of AFO’s hands:

10) Basically what the whole thing boils down to is this: Shigaraki Tomura needs a hero.

Don’t mistake my meaning. A lot of “girl meets bad boy” plots end up amounting to “girl becomes emotionally responsible for fixing bad boy’s issues,” and that’s not what I’m gunning for--Shigaraki has to redeem himself because redemption is only meaningful when it stems from the character’s own inner desire to change; I’m not quite rose-tinted enough to buy into the Love Redeems trope myself. I’m definitely not advocating anyone dump Shigaraki Tomura as he is now into Uraraka Ochako’s lap and expect her to turn him from a beast to a beauty. It’s not an unrelated woman’s responsibility to fix a broken man.

But! From a reader’s perspective, I think we can agree: Shigaraki’s redemption cannot be complete until he learns to believe in real heroes. He doesn’t have to like them. He doesn’t have to support hero society. But he has to be able to look at real heroes like Izuku and Ochako and admit that they are doing what’s right--that society is a better place because they are here. Shigaraki’s path to recovery can’t even begin until he’s capable of at least acknowledging that the world has things worth saving in it.

If Horikoshi moves forward with a redemption arc for Shigaraki, it will probably be Deku who Detroit Smashes the message of truly noble heroes into Shigaraki’s head. That’s his job as the resident Warrior Therapist, I suppose. But you know... to me, it might be even more meaningful if Shigaraki’s hero--if the hand that reaches out to rescue him--isn’t The Hero’s™ but just a hero’s. We all know Deku is selfless and good to the core. As All Might’s perfect successor, he really has nothing to prove. It’s everyone else who is in question. It’s the whole rest of hero society that owes Shigaraki Tomura an explanation for the suffering of people like the League’s members. It’s everyone else who needs to prove they can do better--that in the future, there will be no bloody children left abandoned in back alleyways.

Uraraka Ochako’s conviction is to save people. As a female hero who hasn’t lived a privileged life, she’s uniquely situated to think about those who are most often overlooked. In a world where violence begets violence, where only those with strength and flash excel, what a powerful message it would send for the terrifying antagonist to effectively be rescued by someone the story itself has called “a frail girl.” At the end of the day, heroics isn’t supposed to be about mountain-destroying explosions and mach punches--heroics is supposed to be about heart, about reaching out a gentle helping hand, about spreading smiles to those who need them most.

Tomura’s faith in heroes has been brutally stripped from him, and every part of his conflict is tied up intimately with his misdirected hatred: it wasn’t actually heroes who isolated and hurt him--it was villains. In order to move forward, he will have to come to that horrible realization, deal with that means for himself and his place in the world, and recognize the truth: there are goodness and good people in the world. Selfless heroes, those who wouldn’t turn their backs on a crying child, do exist. There are people, even now, who would extend a kind hand to Shigaraki Tomura and do their best to bring a real smile to his face. Because that’s what’s really going on, after all.

Shimura Tenko is still waiting to be saved.

And I know just the person to do it.

[pluviophile-bookworm]

Thoughts/ reaction to AWAE 3x8

I’m honestly afraid of what I might see in this episode. I have been crying almost all week at the mere thought of what last episode did to Anne and Diana and Jerry, and I’m 100% ready to get that all resolved - but I’m afraid it might not happen. Also, with the Shirbert on-off-on-off pattern that has been going on this season, my hopes aren’t very high for those two. Here’s hoping my worries are in vain.

Ka’kwet is back. Unfortunately, she’s not back, if you know what I mean. I hope she gets out of that place - the “White Man’s Burden School”, as I call it - sooner. 

That nun is not acting like a good Christian. Tragically, that is what people really were like - and in some places still are - to people of colour. This cold open is truly nightmarish. I’m starting to fear my worries were not in vain and that I, and the whole fandom as a community, have been set up for much more suffering than any one of us might have expected. 

Looks like Ka’kwet will be back after all. That girl’s really smart, but she’s been through a lot. I hope things might be better for her back at home. 

I see things are still awfully tense between Anne and Diana - and “tense” doesn’t even begin to describe it. I hope this hot mess is resolved by next week - at most. 

I should have been ready for the sight of the schoolhouse burnt to ashes. But I don’t think anything could have prepared me for Anne’s reaction to it. Now I’m crying. I know this is supposed to be a symbol for the end of their childhood or something, but it’s still as devastating as we feared it would be, and then some. 

Once again Miss Stacy proves that the world needs more teachers, nay, more people, like her. Managing to find a silver lining and turn the situation around when she was clearly just as devastated as anyone - that was a true heroic act if you ask me. 

Wait, where is Anne going?

But of course, she’s immediately holding accountable for the situation whoever she thinks should be held accountable - in this case, Rachel Lynde. Interestingly, she didn’t even know what happened. I mean, she was the only woman in a council of men who tried to speak for her fellow women, wasn’t she? Rachel did some good last episode and she is not at fault for that vile act of cowardice and whatever else Miss Stacy called it. 

How is Ka’kwet supposed to find her way back to Avonlea? Is she even going to get back home? I’m worried for my girl.

Everybody being just crammed at Miss Stacy’s is the type of atmosphere and environment that just calls for something bonding and intimate to happen... and Shirbert are there, sitting together, talking... this is like a direct continuation of the porch scene from last episode. I might be clowning, but I think the loop has been broken. Or we might be in for a bigger step backwards next time. I’m clowning. 

Bash’s mum seeing Delly warms my heart. We need more wholesome scenes and less suffering. But we’re probably not getting any of that.

Ok, Ruby really is over Gilbert, so much that it’s like she was never “under” him. The fact that she can now talk to Anne about him and Winnifred - right in his face, at that, is a huge step away from the years and years of crushing. Also, she’s totally right that a person can be studious and romantic at the same time. But I’m not sure our Gil here is the best example of it. 

I sense some parallels between the scene with the class at the Green Gables barn and this scene at Miss Stacy’s - teasing Gilbert about his “fiance” while Anne is listening reminds me painfully of the “does he have  a farm girl” comment about Jerry. And the Anne/ Diana parallel this creates is just pouring salt in the wound their fight gave me last week.

The framing in the next scene is beautiful and reminds me of Shirbert, but I think that’s the only beautiful and romantic thing about it. 

Jerry just won’t stop saying “I’m not good enough for you”, and, frankly, he shouldn’t. I just hoped he’d say more. What I really wanted from this episode was for him to give Diana a piece of his mind on the way she made him feel last episode. 

“Rude and aggressive”? Jerry? I don’t think so. I didn’t really blame Diana for the way she acted last time, but I do blame her for even thinking that. Is he not allowed to have his own feelings and express them? And what is wrong with telling Anne? If anything, it was wrong of both of them not to tell her sooner. She’s supposed to be Diana’s bosom friend and Jerry’s sister, for goodness’s sake! It shouldn’t have taken hurt feelings to finally let her in on the way things are; or rather were, as they’re certainly not anymore. I can’t believe I’m saying it. but maybe it’s for the better. Even if multiple hearts, including mine, got broken in the process. For something to be fixed, it first must be broken, some say. Then so be it. 

Aunt Jo is in Avonlea? Things just got better. And she wants Diana to take the Queens exam. I think she should, too. But it breaks my heart again that she’s apparently not brave enough to try and fulfil her potential. So she was bold enough to kiss Jerry at the fair, thus leading both him and herself on, but not to fight for her own future? I love her and I just can’t sit and watch her do that to herself. But why am I doing this to myself, then?

Mrs. LaCroix acting like a servant and calling Gilbert “Mr. Blythe, sir” was very awkward to watch - for me and Gilbert alike, it seems. But I sort of understand why she did that. Except it’s not making me feel better. It makes me feel worse, if anything. Because I knew she was acting that way because Gilbert is white and she’s not. And that’s not alright. That she’s lived in a society that thought that was alright, was wrong. I hope things get better.

“Uncle Gilby”... Bash has me rolling on the floor laughing once again. And Delphine is still the cutest - she can’t do much more than be cute yet, can she? But I hope she gets to hear a certain love confession about Anne soon. That is the wholesome content we need in these trying times.

Oh my, Ka’kwet, get off that rail! I feel like a worried young mother with this kid. One thing I sure am, and it’s worried. I hope she’ll be safe.

The contrast between the awkwardly stiff atmosphere at the Barry house and the high-level pressure of the class is starker than that between day and night. That’s poetic cinema alright.  

Wait, Diana’s doing it! Is my girl back? My girl’s back. I think. I don’t want to get my hopes up too high. 

So Gilbert never returned Anne’s pen? I can see why. But it put her in a really uncomfortable position. I’ve been there, and I don’t need to tell you what going into an important exam without the proper tools can do to a student’s psyche. But I know Anne knows better than to let that get to her in this very important moment. 

Last episode’s climax left a very big impression on both Rachel and Marilla, didn’t it now?

Are they trying to push Bash and Miss Stacy? I think it would be highly inappropriate. First of all because I don’t think Bash is ready to remarry at all - he might as well never be - and second of all because I don’t think Muriel Stacy of all women needs a man. And I ship her with Prissy now, but that’s another story. 

Now that’s another feeling I know all too well - finishing your exams and celebrating your freedom. And I’m glad Diana got to be part of that. I just hope she and Anne can make up soon. That’s pretty much all I can think of.

If Winnie loves Paris so much, let her go to Paris. She shouldn’t need a man for that. Certainly not one whose mind has been occupied by one girl since the day he first saw her. I ship Shirbert as much as the next person and then some, but I also don’t want Winnie’s heart to be broken at the end of all this. She’s a nice girl. She deserves better. Let her go to Paris. No need to drag Gilbert into this for too long. 

Let me tell you, Anne’s hair flying loose, lit by the fire, is pure  poetry. If I were Gilbert in that scene, I would propose on the spot. But we know that’s not happening. 

Anne’s not making any sense and if this were any other couple in a similar setting, this is where he would shut her up with a kiss... but I’m clowning, ain’t I?

“Will you marry me?” Shirbert, and the ring and the dictionary, and the parallels... I’m nearly speechless. Why can’t they just spit it out? Does Gilbert have to go through with the proposal for the final realisation to come?

And... here we are. Except - we’re really not. “My Aunt is visiting me”. That felt like a firm step back on Diana’s part. Will they ever make up? Or will I have to cry for another week straight at just the thought of everything that played out?

Leave it to Aunt Jo to dish out wisdom... hope she can help Anne in this situation, or else the entirety of Shirbert might be at stake. 

“Asked Anne”? You didn’t ask anything. You just made her more confused than ever and now she feels this great responsibility about her whole life and yours, too. You shouldn’t have made her feel that way. But I can’t blame you. You two are the two most confused individuals I’ve seen in a long time. But I love you both the way you are. And I know you’ll get there someday. 

“She said no”. Seriously, Blythe, were you and I listening to the same girl talk last night? Because I never heard her say no. Or yes. Or give any kind of cohesive answer to the big question you DIDN’T ASK!

Rachel and Marilla are really doing that, aren’t they? And Rachel all cool pouring water while serving one of the most delightfully ironic of ironic echoes I’ve ever seen... “No need to be hysterical”! Ha! #started from the bottom #now we’re here

My, my! Ka’kwet has been through quite the journey... but she’s finally home. Wonder what will happen when the “whites” find out, though. 

Goodness! Minnie May’s really had it, hasn’t she? Honestly, it was about time someone in that family said something about the lives they lead - it was time someone told it like it is, and... why did I actually expect it to be Minnie May? Why does this little girl have to do the grown-ups’ job? I guess it’s just the way of the world. I just hope this doesn’t end in disaster. 

Okay, I’ve been waiting for this all week, and it’s even more beautiful than I could have imagined. Far more beautiful.

Wow, that was some realisation! “I’m in love with Gilbert Blythe”. Took you long enough, Anne! Now go do something about it before it’s way too late. Gosh, we will be clowning so hard next week. 

To sum up what we saw in this episode: Ka’kwet finally escapes the “White Man’s Burden” school of nightmares and takes the long road home; lots of tension between Anne and Diana; the school is ashes and those responsible for it aren’t getting away; Gilbert thinks he’s sure about Winnifred; Derry is dead; lots of parallels, all heavy on Shirbert; Bash’s mum “knows her place” - or does she really?; Diana takes the exams with zero preparation (respect!); Rachel and Marilla tear down the patriarchy; Minnie May does the grown-ups’ job; DiAnne is back; Anne sets us all up for a lot of clowning.

[mageniskala]

SEVENTEEN: Zodiac’s Reading of This Month #1

Merry meet and Namaste...

Hello, welcome back to ACE OF DIAMONDS. Okay, without further talking, i'll share my reading right down below.

04/01/2020 Decks: The Wildwood Tarot and Rider Waite Tarot Topic: Zodiac's reading for this month .

1). S.coups: Leo

Pile: Knight of Pentacles, 7 of Sword, 3 of Wands, Queen of Stones, Page of Stones, 3 of Stones.

This month is busy month for Leo. He got many responsiblities to handle, things to get done. He almost can't handle it, but in the end he fulfills his duties. Leo needs to prioritise his loved ones the most, families, friends, SEVENTEEN, and Carats, instead of paying attention to hate-speeches and negative comments on SNS. Take no shit of what antis said. Haters gonna hate. Leo also has to know that rooting to his creativity is way more important in this matter.

2). Jeonghan: Libra

Pile: 3 of Swords, The Magician, King of Wands, 3 of Arrows, 8 of Arrows, Page of Arrows.

I sense a lot of mind/tought energy. Likely this month will be tough moment of Libra, because there are two 3 of Swords (Arrows) coming out, and it even get worse with 8 of Arrows that associates with strugle. Libra will be strugling from physical (dizziness, cold, low blood-pressure) and mental illness (red: anxiety disorder). In other hand, Libra has The Magicians which means the power within and trick to handle all these chaos. Libra doesn't speak it loud, he keeps it for himself, he tells a lie that 'he's okay'. Good news, he has such a big spirit to get better and better, this big and pure intention will help him get out of the dark place.

3). Joshua and Seungkwan: Capricorn

i). Joshua - The Sun, The High Priestess, The Moon, The Forest Lovers, The Moon on Water, The Guardian

Well, it is interesting. There are two card of The Moon, which tells us about something unsure and confusion, and moment of stillness. So, i can tell that Joshua has big doubt about something. From the card of 'The Forest Lovers', i can see that what he doubts to is the bond, the relationship between him and a person. I also see femine energy, big one. Oh ya, noted it, feminine doesn't have to be a girl or woman, it can be boy or man, because femine isn't gender, it's aspect of energy inside human being. So, i come to a conclusion that the person with feminine energy is Joshua himself. And the other person is with masculine energy, because there is 'The Sun' which is masculine. Joshua needs time to dive deep down to his soul to seek the truth behind his confusion.

ii). Seungkwan - 10 of Pentacles, Judgement, The Moon, The Wheel, The Hooded Man, Page of Bows

Seungkwan misses his home and his family. He misses some memorable moments with them. His feelings up and down, he becomes so sensitive and melancholic. He calls his family with hopes it'll help to release his home-sick. He can't spend much time with them during christmas, becuase he has to work and make his dreams come to manifest. He trys to conceal his feeling from others and act playful, cheerful, and passionate like usual.

4). Jun and Hoshi: Gemini

i). Jun - The Magician, The Hanged Man, Page of Pentacles, 6 of Bows, The Stag, King of Stones.

Jun's skill get blooming. He developes his vocal and dancing skill. This month will be a steppingstone for upgrading his level in this industry. And, i feel by the sixth month he will be bestowed with abundance in the form of projects. In the same time, there will be some toxic comments about him, but he's kinda immune with it, because he always follows the lead of his heart and intuition. By the end of 2020, he will be in the moment of stillness where he worries nothing, doubts nothing. He's fully surrendered himself to Universe/Time to show what will it be in the future.

ii). Hoshi - Page of Swords, The Tower, King of Swords, 6 of Bows, 10 of Bows, King of Bows.

Soon or later Hoshi, our tiger, will face 'The Tower Moment'. It is moment where his life start to change in sudden. Some unexpected events take place in his life. It changes how he thinks and see about life and others. He steps on new path and new journey to live. He will heal his wound (bad experience and memories) from past and relese them, so he can be the new version of Hoshi. He also got many responsibilities to carry on his shoulders. Maybe it will make him exaushted physically and mentally. But, no matter what he promises that will live his life gratefully, happily, and heartfully. And what will he get? Of course, abundance. The results never betray the efforts.

5). Wonwoo: Cancer

Pile: 8 of Wands, Temparance, The High Priestess, 8 of Vessels, The Wood Ward, 2 of Vessels.

OMG, i personally like it, and bit shocked. I sense big feminine energy, it associates with intuition, compassion, and caring and nurturing. Two of Vessels represents attraction, love, relationship, and harmony. And this card is empowered by Temparance, so i'm quite sure that Wonwoo has been balancing the aspect within him; cold-warm, ignore-care. He's no longer the 'tsundere' one, at least around this month. His affection to the one has been spreading until he concerns that could no longer be held back. IDK the one realises Wonwoo's feeling or not, but he's totally aware with Wonwoo's change by seeing him become more caring and soft. But you know, actually loving and caring, soft and warm  hearted are Wonwoo's nature that always there, never not. So, i can say, he doesn't change at all. I guess i know the one, but no, i'm not gonna tell it.

6). Woozi and The8: Scorpio

i). Woozi - The Moon, Knight of Pentacles, Page of Wands, The wheel, 4 of Arrows, 8 of Arrows.

I can feel hoe exausted Woozi is. He has worked hard, now he needs rest and leave his bussiness for awhile. It's good idea if he comunes with nature, either going to see beach or lake. It will heal him if he go somewhere with amount of water. I'm pretty sure he knew it and ready for it. But before going, he needs to get done his works and arrange the schedule.

ii). The8 - 9 of Cups, The Hermit, 4 of Swords, 10 of Stones, Knight of Arrows, Page of Wren.

Just like Woozi, The8 too needs some rest, but i sense that he no needs to go anywhere. What he needs is, to have some times with his mind by himself indoor, it could be either dorm or home. Basically, The8 is man of wide insight, so clearly he will spend time by reading some books that can improve his personality, awareness, and spiritual consiousness. And also, recalling all memories, good memories, about him achieving severel of his dreams and passions.

7). Mingyu: Aries

Pile: 2 of Cups, The Hierophant, Temperance, The Ancestor, The Sun of Life, The Stag.

WOW! It's sweet. Like i said in Wonwoo's reading, Two of Cups (Vessels) is about relationship, love, caring, nurturing, and harmony. And Mingyu's reading, Temperance also came out to be empowerment of Two of Cups. Meaning, the relationship is going balance; loving and caring each other, eventhough both keep it low-key and undercover, they tend to be not so obvious. By this, Mingyu has been going through new journey and new experience of life. He made decision by listening his heart, not what people say. I can see this beautiful love, but when i look deeply into their soul, they are connected by karmic debt. So, this relationship is part of karmic scenario. For Mingyu himself, if he can accept and embrace who he is, he will be awaken spiritually, if not even i myself don't know. Because i only see what i have to see.

8). Dk, Vernon, and Dino: Aquarius

i). DK - 2 of Swords, Page of Pentacles, 3 of Pentacles, 4 of Stones, Knight of Bows, Ace of Arrows.

DK will get two offers, which both of them are equally good. He will be so confused which one should he pick. Page of Pentacles is sign that whatever he will pick, it will be new source of money and popurality, which is projects or collaborations. If you DK's stan, please encourage him. DK is pure and innocent person, he really needs protection from others, because i sense an evil eye in the future. Maybe he will get scammed and used just because he's purely good person. He needs someone with very logic and realistic mind to always remind him to be careful.

ii). Vernon - 7 of Swords, 9 of Pentacles, The Devil, 4 of Arrows, 2 of Stones, Page of Stones.

Vernon is about to face new challenge and in this matter he's very newbie. He has no any significant experience with it. So he's very aware and careful doing this. Vernon's nature is abitious, passionate, and competitive. He like challenge and try something new. There are severel difficulties and obstacles. If he can conquer the difficulties and obstacles, he will bloom and show his new charm, of course everyone will be stunned.

iii). Dino - 10 of Swords, King of Cups, The Moon, The Journey, 7 of Bows, 9 of Stones.

Someone is about to pass away. I can't feel who he/she is, i guess it could be one of Dino's relative, and it makes him has to come home to attend the funerial ceremony. I see 13 and 9, i assume it as September, 13th. Deep down, i hope it's not true and not gonna happen. And here, Dino will be overheat, he has pushed himself too hard. His perfectionist sometime ends up like this, but he just enjoys the moment where he can't do anything, because at that time he can see himself so crystal clear and evaluate all that done. Dino likely is gonna have massive emotional turbulance and mood swing, but he's gonna bring them into possitive way. Many romantic songs/raps and sexy dances will be born out of it.

.

Huffttt... it's so exausted. FYI, i spent for about 5 hours to do this reading. So, i really really thank you for coming here and read my readings. Please kindly share to Carat friends or family. Love you!

[ask-svt-hearteu]

we got married! Jihoon

Anon requested: “Hi! Can I ask for a scenario with Woozi where he and his idol crush participate in We Got Married and during the course of everything, they fell in love and started dating secretly? Thank you!”

Genre: so much freakin fluff

Word Count: 2597

A/N: no knowledge of wgm really needed, i hope you like this,, not to sure how i feel about it yet :”)

Jihoon didn’t know what to think when Seventeen got called in for a meeting

all the meetings about the comeback were scheduled and this one clearly wasn’t

he asked the others and they honestly had no clue either

poor Seungkwan started stressing like what if he said something wrong on his variety show

that last thing any of them expected the staff to say

“MBC has decided to cast Jihoon for their show ‘We Got Married’“ 

‘oh fuck’

and the longer he stayed in that board room the more he realized he needed to zoom the heck out of there

‘are they serious?’ he thinks, ‘whichever producer that came up with this idea had to be a complete idiot’

the member widely known for the least amount of dating experience was going on a show where he was forced to act lovey with a stranger in front of a camera

what he also didn’t need was Soonyoung’s poor skill of hiding his laughter after Chan pointed out that fact

“actually this is going to sky rocket their ratings”

and then there’s Vernon smirking and fist bumping Joshua for the reference

Jihoon scoffs, burying his face into his hands, “wouldn’t someone like Mingyu would be way better suited than me”

“obviously, but that’s boring” Wonwoo chuckles, ignoring the dirty look from Mingyu

“I can’t say no?”

“c’mon Jihoon, at the very least you’ll make a new friend”

at Seungcheol’s words, he resigns

did that mean he still felt embarrassed that his romantic interactions with some random person will soon be broadcasted to the entire nation?

hell yeah

but maybe he could even get over his crush before he gets his heart broken

admiring you and not being able to do anything is getting too stressful for his poor soul

on the first filming day he meets in one of MBC’s rooms, with cameras all around him

he’s not surprised when he’s handed a script: things to say, things not to say

make it look believable, but don’t cause a scandal

easy

you, on the other hand, find the WGM staff surprising you in your dressing room as you finish a photo shoot

you immediately smile at the absurdity, “today? so suddenly?”

you don’t get a response but instead get handed that signature red envelope

your members giggle and gather around you

but you can’t bring yourself to joke along, filled to the brim with nervousness and anticipation

slowly opening the envelope you read, 

“Hello Newly Wedded Y/n! Today is the start of your journey with your new husband! To find out who he is, please head here _________”

leaving quickly with your member’s delighted pushes, the WGM staff follows you all the way to the address

some empty restaurant

you step in reluctantly, half suspicious a ghost staff would pop out of nowhere, or worse 

you had to dress up as one to scare your husband, yikes

what must of been a well decorated place was reduced to a single candle lit table in the center of the room

it’s light lets your eyes draw in on the vase of roses, placed perfectly center 

“this is to much,” you mumble to yourself, or not, your mic picking it all up 

your heart pounds, hitting your eardrums as anxiety begins to build up inside you

you thought ‘newly wed couples’ were supposed to have one of those cute meetings at parks or dog cafes, not a fancy restaurant set up like a one year anniversary

you already read through the script prep on the ride over, so you hope you won’t have to resort to too many of those cringy lines if the conversation turns awkward

the cameraman trails behind you, prodding you ahead to the table where you take a seat

and again you’re handed other envelope, but this time with a piece of cloth

you can’t help but giggle in amazement at what it reads

following the instructions, you tie the cloth to fit over your eyes, leaving you nothing to do but sit

after probably less than a minute, you can’t help it and start humming a tune in boredom

and as more moments past, you speak

“I just want to say to my... husband,” you pause, letting out an amused hum, “you better be hurrying because your wife is getting bored” 

you laugh at yourself after you let a bit of aegyo slip into your voice 

you had fulfilled the fluffy requirements of MBC and that better be enough for them

“let’s live happily honey” you end your sentence sing-songy, swinging your legs back and forth, not really caring how much you were embarrassing yourself in this moment

if only you knew about Jihoon’s burning cheeks at the sound of your pet name

you missed the soft steps of him walking in during your monologue

he walked in just in time to hear the end, your words only increasing his nervousness

oh but he’d heard that voice before

and his suspicions where only confirmed when he looked at you 

he knew the carve of your lips and the curve of your nose even in the dimly lit room

certainly not from staring at you all the time, nope

oh, he’s so screwed

you start humming again and he almost crumbles at how pretty it is 

‘god why do crushes make me so sappy’ 

taking a breathe, he strides over to you

your breathe hitches as you hear his clear and purposeful footsteps 

“um,” you start

but freeze as you feel soft hands slightly graze your cheeks

they reach up further and pull the cloth off your eyes

“hi” 

“oh” 

both of your voices blend together as your eyes meet 

his hands fall to his side, gripping the cloth tightly 

he has a soft smile on his face as he watches your eyes flicker in recognition

but of course, keeping up the act like you barely knew him, you smile politely  

the romantic scene doesn’t last long, however, as the room only illuminated by the candle lit table is suddenly blinding your eyes with bright filming lights 

honestly the audacity of all these cameras hmmp

you motion outwards and smile sweetly, “take a seat” 

as he does, you can’t help but notice how cute he looks fiddling with his hands

a cameraman rushes up to Jihoon, handing him yet another envelope 

he reads it aloud,

“now that the newly weds have met each other,” 

he hopes his ears don’t appear as red as they feel

“it’s time to get to know each other! sit down to have a dinner we prepared!” 

“hi,” you begin, “my name is Y/n, I’m a member of G/n” 

he returns the same introduction with a shy grin, “I’m Lee Jihoon, a member of Seventeen” 

the two of you continue talking, somewhat referring back to the script when it came to the flow of conversation 

it was hard to have a legitimate conversation about getting to know each other when you two already knew each other after all

when the camera cuts off for break you break into a laugh

“I had no idea you’d be casted with me Jihoon!!” 

“yeah, this was really unexpected” he chuckles lightly 

“hey, well it’s going to be fun!” 

‘yeah, for you’ he wants to retort 

to him, you don’t look nearly as flustered as he is

if he only knew 

you’re actually screaming

on the inside 

who-

who’s bright idea was it to cast Lee Jihoon

your crush

when you tell your members who your ‘husband’ is, they go crazy

even more so after watching the episode all snuggled up together in the living room much to your embarrassment

“please tell me you got his number”

“of course I did” you mutter, feeling shy all over again

even though the filming was almost two weeks ago, neither of you stayed in contact

“well text him!” your leader turned romanticist encourages 

finding a space alone, you shoot him a text

‘hey Jihoon! did you see the episode air?’ 

almost immediately you get a response

‘yeah, my members won’t stop bothering me about it’

‘really? what are they saying haha’ 

three minutes later he still hasn’t responded 

you figured he was busy of course

or maybe you were asking to much? Jihoon is kind of a private person...

but then you get a phone call, and this awkward selca you two were forced to take pops up on your screen

immediately you panic because you had never talked with him over the phone before 

obviously 

you’re scared you may have pressed the call button a little too soon but you get confused when instead of being greeted with a hello, all you hear is a bunch of voices

“sorry hyung! it was an accident!!” 

that’s all you manage to make out 

putting two and two together it’s clear what happened

you stifle a giggle

“hello Jihoon” you say cheerily

“hi Y/n” he replies softly, “give me a second” 

you hear the sound of a door closing 

you wonder if he left the room or did he shoo the members out 

“sorry, I didn’t mean to call you so abruptly” 

“I heard, someone made that decision for you” 

“yeah, Soonyoung is not very good with technology” 

laughing together at that, you snicker a little, “twelve other members does seem a but like a handful” 

“but with funnier members like Seungkwan and Dokyeom, there’s never a dull moment” 

“I think you’re pretty funny too”

“I don’t think so,” Jihoon says bashfully

you think back to your first meeting, remembering how much you guys laughed 

the conversation moves on to more about each other’s groups and stresses you both could relate too 

meanwhile you’re pushing in compliments here and there 

finding it adorable when he mumbles a thank you and shyly compliments you back

“Jihoon-ssi” you start formally

“yes?” he answers surprised by your sudden formal tone

“you know i’m trying to flirt right?” 

you hear him splutter

“and probably failing,” you laugh at yourself lightheartedly, ignoring the pounding against your chest

 “but I just thought, even though this situation is weird, we could just try get to know each other?” 

Jihoon fists the bottom of his sweatshirt, leggings bouncing up in down in a panic 

god, his crush was getting worse

he liked you so much

you set it up so perfectly, so cutely

“um,” he says shakily, “i-i’m just really focused on my group...” 

“oh, that’s understandable” you mumble disappointingly, “i’m kinda feeling tired so um, goodnight Jihoon” 

he manages to murmur back a goodnight before you hang up

he lets his head fall on the desk roughly

‘you have no balls lee Jihoon, absolutely no balls at all.’ 

and his members strongly reiterate that when he tells them

“hyung i’m gonna say this the nicest way possible-”

“not fucking possible” Jihoon grumbles, effectively shutting Mingyu up

“Jihoon-ah, you know that the company doesn’t matter, your happiness does” Seungcheol says softly

the rowdiness shimmers down at the leader’s words and the atmosphere turns serious

“that’s easy to say when you don’t think about the details,” he sighs, flipping his phone in his hands, itching to call you but to embarrassed too

it’s been three days since the call and the next shooting date is tomorrow

and he has to do something to fix it, he can’t handle tomorrow's shoot if not

“there’s nothing in our contract about a dating ban,” Minghao points out

“which exactly why you should go for it” Seokmin agrees 

Jihoon groans into his hands, “I know but I said what I said already”

Jeonghan pats his shoulder, “but you’ll figure it out, if you like her so much”

that’s how Jihoon ends up arriving to the meeting spot, with a gift in hand feeling terribly nervous

but for a moment, when you arrive stepping out of your car his heart flutters for a second

but it crashes again, when your eyes don’t even meet his before you’re whisked away for makeup and hair touch ups

he sighs, knowing he had to fix this, and fix it before the a camera turns on

cameras catch awkwardness better than anything else

there’s only fifteen minutes left until the shoot starts so gathering his courage, you walks up to you and shows a small smile

“would you like to go over the schedule for today?” 

you nod and offer a smile, standing up and following him as he walks around the cameras and into a hall away from everyone else

“i think they said we’re going to a cafe first, and of course we have to go to our house at the end of the day, though i think we’re going shopping...” you trail off, your voice quieting when you realize you were rambling in your own nervousness

the soft smile stays on Jihoon’s face, finding you cute shy

“i’m sorry, actually i wanted to talk to you the other night” 

your heart drops and you cross your arms suddenly feeling very insecure

“I’m sorry for being dramatic by ending the call so quickly, I should’ve been more understanding. I’m an idol too so” you shifting your eyes to the floor, “I understand”

“it’s not like the Y/n I’ve seen to bow her head” 

you look up to see his eyes that have shifted into crescents

“you shouldn’t be apologizing, I should be. I gave you the wrong impression while you gave the right one” 

you blink a couple times, processing his words as your heart beats against your chest 

his eyes stare into yours, keeping your gaze hostage and forcing you to see the emotion in his eyes 

“I don’t express my feelings very well, but I do want to try. If you don’t want to that’s okay” 

his words reassure you, a light and joyful feeling replacing the nervously 

you smirk, pressing your finger against his chest and quirk your brow

“oh? you aren’t going to fight for me? not even a little?” 

he sputters, not even able to get a single coherent word out 

“that’s not like you either, so nervous” you laugh, the sound bouncing off the walls like a beautiful melody

“i’m kidding,” you say, tilting your head and grin, “yes I do want to try” 

he smiles back, and then remembers the gift in his hand

“I got this, but it’s not much” 

“it’s okay, I can be bought” you say, taking it from his hands

he chuckles at your joke and smile at him satisfied

pulling the pretty tissue paper out the bag you can’t help but gasp slightly when to hold it in your hands

“it’s really not much” 

“no” you deny, smiling down at the framed still of you and jihoon on your first meeting 

maybe the one advantage of the maybe cameras and studio lighting were the pictures that could come out of it

the beautiful capturing of two genuine smiles that would let you remember forever your first meeting and this moment 

“i disagree, it’s incredibly thoughtful” 

his lips part, words about to flow from is mouth and you feel the sudden urge to lean up and press your lips to his

“filming in five!” the calls of one of the PD-nims interrupts the both of you and the moment is broken

breaking into little chuckles Jihoon moves to hold your hand and squeezes it, even if for just a moment 

“I’ll call you tonight, and this time we can talk as long as you want” 

[flying-elliska]

Hello Ellie. You seem to have an understanding of LGBTQ+ and things and you always give good advice so I wanted to ask about some things that have been going around my mind about my own sexuality. I think I may be aromantic or asexual or inside the spectrum, but I still feel a little bit lost. Like of course sometimes I want a relationship and the idea of love is not repulsive, but when it comes to reality whenever I like someone a relationship seems like too much (1/2)

I feel like I’ve never fallen for someone, even though I’ve had relationships with very strong feelings I feel like I got into them just to not lose the other person and now because it’s what I wanted. Now I have been talking to this person who makes me feel things, but I really don’t want to start a relationship because it’s not the kind of thing I want. I don’t know it’s a mess. And I’ve had so much problems exploring my sexuality because it feels like I don’t want to do it at all (2/2)

Hey dear anon ! Thank you for coming to me with this, I feel honored by your trust. 💕

So as always I'll start w the disclaimer that you are the only one that can truly know your own orientation (and my own perspective is limited). That said, yes, this sounds a lot like you are on the ace-spectrum. Like for everyone, feelings are complicated ! So I think this confusion is pretty normal - I think a lot of people don't clearly fit into specific boxes and that's why I think seeing things as a spectrum is so important.

The most important thing is for you to lead an authentic life, one that makes you happy. When you write you pushed yourself into relationships you didn't want, that doesn't sound like it. We are, from birth, bludgeoned with the idea that sex and romance are key to a happy fulfilled life. (You might want to look up 'amatonormativity'). And that if you don't want those things there has to be something wrong with you (which is untrue). So it's not a wonder that some ace ppl still keep this idea that they want love, of course, but not like that and not now, keeping it as a safe horizon but always as distant as possible. So this could be a possibility for you.

Another option is that you are on the spectrum and while there is a possibility for you to feel attraction/want romance etc the conditions for that to happen are much more specific and restricted than for other people. And that you will know when you get there, which might happen and also might not.

And finally there are other things that might make you less open to attraction/wanting a relationship. Maybe it's something mental health related ; maybe you are not at a point in your life where you are ready for a relationship ; maybe you don't like the mainstream model for relationships; etc. Maybe a combination of all those things.

Whatever the case may be, I think it's important to say that your agency, sense of self, and desires (or lack of them), are the most important thing here, before any labelling. Please don't push yourself into things you don't really want. You truly don't need a romantic and/or sexual relationship to be happy. What's more I really believe in the importance of platonic connections - friendships can be just as intense and life changing and nurturing and one thing I love are the stories of ace ppl making their own types of families w their friends (because I love anything that goes beyond the typical hetero 2.5 children nuclear family model imperative, which can be so harmful).

So I would say - maybe try to do some imagining. If you lived in an ideal world, what relationships would you want to cultivate ? What would the specific geometry of them be - how would they involve things like affection, touch, commitment, intimacy, sex, romance, exclusivity, care, raising children, sharing responsibilities, mutual inspiration, etc - or not ? Beyond that, maybe try to talk honestly abt this w people who are close to you and that you might have feelings for. You might not always get the reaction you want, people are woefully undereducated abt these issues, but I think getting some practice in discussing boundaries might do you good. After that, you might try on a label and find it evolves over time, or not. That's totally fine. But another thing - you don't need to have sex to explore yr sexuality. This can be very much a thing that you figure out w yourself. And if you don't even want to think about it, then I think it's a sign too.

In the end I think a lot of people go along w this mainstream relationship model bc it's the norm but questioning the content more could benefit a lot of people so they don't push themselves into doing things they don't want out of obligation.

I haven't discussed this much here but I also identify as on the ace-spectrum, maybe grey-ace and/or demi, because I do tend to feel attraction but not very often and I generally do need an emotional connection. What's more I haven't had a relationship in quite some time and this has been a choice because I wanted to figure out my issues first. Because of MI related stuff I have a difficult time w boundaries and I needed to grow on my own first. When I get to it in the future (if I ever do) I know that I want a relationship where intellectual/creative/emotional exchange plays a big role ; and I know that I also want my friendships to play a big role in my life. I don't want to place the romantic relationship at the center of my life.

I think one thing you can do, instead of thinking about it negatively (what you don't want) is this ; what do you want to center yr life around ? What makes you passionate ? What is important to you ? what relationships do you want to nurture ? What do you invest your life energies into ? What gives you pleasure ? What do you want to spend yr limited time on this planet focusing on ? I think starting with this will allow you to question things from a place of fullness instead of fear of missing something.

Most of all : give yourself time. You might be asexual or aromantic or both or demi or grey-ace ; you might choose a label and find it makes you happy now and won't fit later ; it's all okay. You can try things and make mistakes and change your mind, it's all okay. You can not want things now, and want them later, or never at all. There is nothing wrong with you. Try to be honest with yourself and the people around you about what you want. Do some research into alternative relationship models. Try to get a better sense of your own boundaries. And focus on what makes you happy in life. <3 The really important people will stay for the true you, anyway.

And feel free to come talk to me abt this anytime ! I wish you a safe journey in all this, pls take care 💕

[niennavalier]

Okay, belated Star Wars thoughts under the cut; no particular order, just as I think of them. Possibly some unpopular opinions, I dont really know, I'm not all that active in the SW fandom. So maybe I'll get roasted alive but...eh, whatever, this site is somewhere between an void and hell anyway.

Also SPOILERS BELOW (OBVIOUSLY)

[[MORE]]

Okay, so first things first: I enjoyed episode 9. A lot. It was really fun to watch, and just talking in terms of my experience in the theater, it was fantastic. It was so much fun to see the old crew back, all of those appearances were basically like happiness shots in the arm. It was really very cool. The Palpatine reveal and everything around it was pretty damn epic for the obvious reasons. And I absolutely loved seeing the trio bantering and arguing and passing each other - I always love stuff like that. I swear, just give me hours of good character interaction and I'll be happy. Kylo and Rey fighting together/him using the blue lightsaber was also some cool shit and basically like "yaasss heres the payoff for the entire trilogy let's fucking gooo"

Oh, and I need to mention that little droid that Rey fixes. That little guy was adorable and I want merch for him and I will not hear otherwise. (The droids are always great in all the movies fight me)

Also Zorii and Jannah. Badasses, loved watching them and the way they got to interact with the main cast. Just...wanna spill all the love for them in this sentence.

But there are a lot of other things I have to say about the movie - especially the more I think about it and the trilogy as a whole. Dont get me wrong; I still really loved watching the movie. There are just...certain things that feel like missteps or missed opportunities?

(Not counting how badly Oscar Isaac wanted Finn and Poe to be boyfriends, which I just discovered is a thing. And reminds me a lot of anytime anyone mentions Julian Bashir to Andy Robinson and his response is always "oh Garak wanted to have sex with him from the start". Which I literally love so much, this man is a treasure, and I'm glad that apparently the same thing is happening here. And it's not that I'm not gonna talk about it here cause I dont think Poe and Finn should've been boyfriends, but I'm pretty sure Oscar Isaac has much more to say about it than I do)

Gonna start where I always start when I have problems with writing: romance. Because IMO badly written/unnecessary romance can ruin any good story real quick. I'm talking about the kiss at the end. I'm not saying this to bash on the Rey and Kylo shippers. Generally, I dont care what you ship so long as you dont start harassing everyone else; I care even less when it comes to this fandom cause I just participate in it so little. So this isnt me bashing on the ship itself or the fans, but I just think that, in the context of the movie itself, the romance was really poorly handled. To the point that I saw the scene going that way and all I could think was "oh god please dont kiss, I'm begging you". And well...we all know where that went. But I just never got a romantic vibe from the two of them in terms of what was shown on screen. The chemistry always felt familial, at least to me, across episodes 8 and 9 in particular. I dont know if that's just the chemistry between the actors or what, but the tension between them never struck me as romantic - more like two people desperate for someone who understands the chaos around them, not lovers.

Again, granted, maybe that's just the way I read stuff, especially considering I really appreciate movies that don't feature romance arcs. I'm not sure how it read to other people, and I'm not gonna bash on the shippers who like it. I may feel like JJ Abrams didnt write a convincing romance - or just stuck the kiss in there at the end to fulfill some plan from episode 7 that didnt actually pan out - but I have no problem with the ship itself, or the people who ship it. (Because at the end of the day, this is all fiction, and I couldnt care less how anyone chooses to interact with it)

(And this isnt an entirely rated point but because I've seen it around:

In all honesty, I'm starting to think that the romance thing was just a symptom of a bigger problem with this trilogy: it doesnt feel cohesive. It's like JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson had two separate sets of notes and just refused to actually look between them. Two separate sets of ideas that they were too stubborn to compromise on.

And I have a feeling (at least, talking to my little brother, who definitely feels this way) that a lot of people are pinning this fragmented feel to the trilogy on Rian Johnson and The Last Jedi, but I honestly don't think that's fair. Because, and here's the unpopular opinion: I really don't think Last Jedi is that bad. At least, not bad enough to deserve all the flak it gets.

Won't get into that entirely here because that could be a whole separate post, but that's my opinion. Sure, it's not perfect, there are definitely a lot of parts that are pretty irrelevant and not really necessary, but that's true of everything. Frankly, its biggest problem was that it was written for the wrong audience. Which is a major problem, yes, but taken for what it is, it's perfectly decent. As I said before, I could write a whole thing on this movie and why it's not that bad (because I have my brother's points as to why it's terrible for me to argue against) but overall, my reading of 8 is that it's a movie meant to introduce wider ideas and concepts to the universe - particularly this very gray and murky area of morality and character - through stories that are closer to the characters and tied to harsher realities of war. Things aren't always black and white, people are complex, sometimes our heroes can be gravely wrong in ways that aren't glamorous.

Frankly, it feels somewhere between a super deep indie movie and Star Trek (particularly DS9, at least to me, because I love when that show gets to twisty moral stuff). So yeah, wrong audience, yet he decided to stick with his storytelling despite that. No matter I personally might fall into the audience that movie resonates with, it wasnt gonna resonate with most of the fandon.

Again, Last Jedi is far from perfect in other ways too, but it sets up some great ideas that I was really hoping to get some closure on. Honorable mention here is when Rose saves Finn when he's speeding out to sacrifice himself and because of the desire to save the people they love, which I always end up likening to the "we dont trade lives" sentiment. Mentioning this cause my brother always complains about it, but I was thinking this would be one of those virtues that separate the good guys from the bad guys and ultimately allow good to triumph. Yknow, sorta like how Voldemort's lack of understanding of love contributed to his downfall, to liken it to HP. I was under the assumption that would be the concept at some turning point in the climax, but...guess not.

Big one though, which was actually a pretty big disappointment IMO, was the whole neutrality argument, the existence of a grey area. The most interesting thing from Rey and Kylo's scenes in 8 was the notion that the Jedi and Sith could be left to die, and the two of them would essentially find a way separate from those two sides, walking a path down the middle. I know I'm not the first person to bring this up, especially because of how the Force just...works. That the scales need to be balanced. And so, given that, to have the Jedi always destroy the Sith - that's not balance. Give it a few more years and the same problem is gonna happen; if there are Jedi, there will be Sith and war is gonna break out. That's hardly resolution, so neutrality is the way to go. And, personal opinion - I loved that this ended up in 8. It's just a lot more nuanced than "good vs evil, good is victorious" and brought in new ideas to this universe that I really wanted to see explored.

But that just...never happened. Sure, Rey has that yellow lightsaber at the end, but it's really very little more than the barest hint of lip service to that entire concept. Because it's never built on throughout the movie. Kylo's insistence that they look for a different way turns into a demand that she basically become his Sith queen. Which isnt playing with the gray area - it's more firmly dividing light and dark. And as she's fighting Palpatine, he's all the Sith, while she's all the Jedi; doubt that needs further explanation. Sure yeah, she's dealing with the revelation of her bloodline throughout the movie, but that interaction with the dark side is very different than in 8; she's afraid of it (a character arc I love, dont get me wrong), not lured by it. The Sith are very clearly evil, and despite her family, she comes to embody the Jedi as a whole. The opposite of what was laid out in 8.

Which actually just makes her choice to take the yellow lightsaber make even less sense? Because...she has no reason at all to turn away from the Jedi and every reason to keep using the Light side. The only possible reason by that point is if she knows about the balance and makes that choice intentionally to prevent the rise of a Sith lord. But that choice is never shown, so I dont give that a pass. It just feels like the lamest nod to something from 8 - no buildup, no explanation, just there because it technically should be.

And that fucking sucks. What a waste. Puts so much space between these movies.

The romance might be another aspect of that - 8 didnt really give me a strong romantic vibe, and then 9 tried to benefit off of buildup of romantic tension that just wasnt there. And that romance isnt the only other one. Just the existence of Palpatine at all? Like, awesome plot yes, but not at all foreshadowed. The banter between the trio at the start? One of my favorite parts to watch, but it comes out of nowhere, and I guess we just have to live with the idea that all of the development happened off screen. Lame. The return of the fucking helmet? Fuck, i actually have more i can say about the way i interpreted the helmet, but this is getting long. So point being: it's like we just got zipped right back to episode 7 all of a sudden and didnt even get a symbolic moment of him losing the helmet in 9 (at least, not that I remember).

Really, on the whole, JJ Abrams basically did the beginning of 9 such that most of 8 could be made irrelevant. Because that's how I felt throughout the whole movie; like 8 didnt matter. And I know a lot of fans are honestly happy with that (so maybe if was actually the right choice on that front) but god does it make the whole trilogy clunky. Literally nothing flows.

And I think that's my main problem with the trilogy as a whole - or, rather, with the production behind it. It's like JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson were just so goddamned married to their ideas that they wouldnt budge from the story they wanted to tell. Like they put their individual creative visions above the quality of the story as a whole. Like they weren't willing to deal with any changes that they didn't put into play themselves. And the trilogy suffered for it.

Which is really so obnoxious to me. Because it is very possible to be flexible and improv and incorporate other ideas into what you already had; just look at D&D. That's the job of a DM. You can plan everything out perfectly, figure out the story you want to tell, decide how you want everyone to interact with your world, but the players will invariably fuck those plans over. And you just have to roll with the punches. But beyond that, those changes can be for the better, because those are ideas you never thought of, and incorporating those makes for an even richer story than anyone expected. All because the people involved are willing to see where the story naturally takes itself.

Just wish these directors could understand that.

(Also...what was Finn gonna tell Rey? I mean...? This is honestly the strangest thing about the movie because it literally felt like the writers just...forgot they ever had this plot point after halfway. Which just feels like sloppy writing, and I feel Poe when he seems to be really curious what Finn wants to tell Rey. Because...me too!)