#incorrect clarrise la rue

[incorectpercyjackson]

Clarisse: Parlay. My office. 5 minutes. *walks away*

Chris: Parlay?

Silena: Pirate code. Means she wants to meet.

Chris: So everyone here knows pirate code?

Silena: I understand it. I can’t speak it.

[applecidersstuff]

Sally *on the iris massage*: Percy did you take your sister to camp again? We have discussed this before, it’s unsafe for her there and-

Percy: Mom, hold on, I don’t have Estelle, I left her with Paul

Paul *peeking into the room*: I had to go run an errand, but one of Percy’s friends came by and volunteered to watch Estelle until Sally was back. I thought you put her down for a nap

Sally *panicking*: Paul, none of Percy’s friends are in town! It’s the summer, all of them are at camp! Who did you give our daughter to?!

Coach Hedge *bursts into cabin 3*: Jackson! I lost my son, we’re scouting the camp, I need you to check in the lake

Percy:

Sally:

Paul:

***

Clarrise *across town*: Do you guys think I should’ve told your parents where we went?

6 y.o. Chuck and Estelle *Clarrise stole took them for ice cream*: *simultaneously shake their heads*

[lilislegacy]

leo: wow, this plan is genius! you guys really thought out everything

annabeth, smiling and nudging clarisse: what can we say? the “wisest daughter of athena” and “mightiest daughter of ares” are quite the team

clarisse: damn right!

frank: uh, i know this plan requires as much secrecy as possible, but we should tell percy what’s going on. it doesn’t feel right that the 20 people in this tent are in on it and he’s in the dark

annabeth, nodding: yes, we absolutely should. can someone go find him? i really want his feedback on-

clarisse: no! no way. look, don’t take any of this personally, annabeth, but we all know percy isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. and we need only the most intelligent people on this. plus, he’s reckless and irresponsible and the idiot has no idea how to stick to a plan.

annabeth, coldly: well you’re an immature, belligerent hothead who bullies other people because of your own glaring inadequacies and raging insecurities. in fact, you pose a significant risk to the success of this plan because i can never be certain of whether you’ll be able to rein in your excessive aggression and futile attempts to win the approval of your father, who, in case you’ve forgotten, was beaten in combat by percy when percy was twelve

clarisse, jaw dropped and flushing with embarrassment:

annabeth: feel free to take any of this personally

[roger-dragon]

Ares: As the god of war, I have no fears.

Clarrise: What if you woke up one day and I was stronger than you?

Ares: I have one fear.

[fxiryeon]

Percy: here’s a fun christmas idea. we hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Annabeth: percy no.

Y/N: mistlefoe.

Annabeth: for the love of athena please stop encouraging him-

[cass-cain-wayne23]

Clarrise: who hurt you?

Percy: do you want a list

Clarrise grabbing her spear: yes

[hotpotrandomfics]

Percy: Ciel, can you give us a war cry?

Ciel, confused: I’m going to commit various crimes! I’ll be wanted in at least 13 countries!

Clarisse: *cackling*

Lou Ellen: No, little bro! A war cry!

Ciel: Oh! I AM GOING TO COMMIT VARIOUS WAR CRIMES! I WILL BE WANTED IN EVERY COUNTRY!

Percy: Oh gods! *rolling on the floor*

Ciel: You wanted mustard? How about mustard gas! Geneva convention? More like Geneva Suggestion! Come along child soldiers!

Ciel proceeded to march off with a number of campers to commit various war crimes.

[bugwolfsstuff]

Hedge: Mellie and I are adopting a kid.

Leo and Clarrisse: that's cool—!

Hedge: *slamming adoption papers on the table* It's you two, sign here

[ghostkingsdag]

Percy: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.

Clarrise: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

[bricks-luv]

clarisse: *whispering* i don’t like you, prissy

percy: *whipsering back* don’t worry, you can’t damage an ego that isn’t there

[anotherpjofan]

Currently thinking about the seven hearing stories about Percy Jackson and dismissing it as something that has been completely fabricated only to find out it's not even half of what Percy has actually done

Piper: Sure Percy totally beat the god of war

Annabeth: Yeah he was 12 I was convinced he was going to die

Piper: ...its true?? Hold on 12??

Also the titan war?? Where he single handedly killed hundreds of monsters

Jason: Sure Percy might have fought against Kronos but the war was a team effort

Clarrise: I hate the guy and I can admit we would have probably lost without him

Let's not forget the fact that the dude blew up mt st helens like cmon

Travis: Throwback to when we had a funeral for Percy

Leo: ??

Travis: Don't worry turns out he just blew up a mountain and was chilling on an island

Leo *laughing*: How do you even come up with these -

Annabeth: The audacity to displace hundreds of people and still not move his ass here sooner

Leo: ... Yall are being serious??

[applecidersstuff]

Clarrise*poping her head into the Athena cabin*: Hey, Chase, where’s your Fish?

Annabeth: I have absolutely no clue what you’re talking about C-… Do you mean Percy?

Clarrise: Yeah…

Annabeth*conserned/confused face*

Clarrise: Don’t look at me like I want to sacrifice him to someone! Everyone bailed on me for combat training and apparently Solace was so fed up with me lingering around the infirmary, he told me Jackson’s back at camp, and to go find him- Now that I said it out loud I have a feeling he lied….

Annabeth: Oh, yeah… PERCY!

Percy*falls from the ladder*

Clarrise: Percy everyone bailed on me, you wanna go train together?

Percy*confused face*

Annabeth and Clarrise*dramatic side eye*

Clarrise: Jackson, combat, me?

Percy*lil hand claps*: YAY!!

[chasing-the-persea]

When Percy and Annabeth inevitably get married, who’s going to be part of who’s entourage?

Obviously Tyson and Grover are going to be in Percy’s (when Percy asked Grover to be his best man ((satyr?)) Grover cried for days)

Thalia would be Annabeth’s maid of honor, and happily take up the role of disrupting Hera’s interferences

Piper was thrilled when Annabeth asked her to be a bridesmaid. Most people expect Aphrodite kids to love wedding planning but Piper knew Annabeth had been planning this ever since the underwater kiss and had everything under control. She also was on standby to talk through any nerves

Everyone is unofficially introduced to the Norse side of the family as Magnus is one of the bridesmen

In a surprising turn of events Clarisse is one of Percy’s groomsmaids. She partners up with Thalia on anti-Hera patrols

Estelle is the flower girl

Leo made their rings from celestial bronze. Diamonds matching the other’s eyes are set in the rings

Mrs. O’Leary is the ring bearer, who had to be escorted by Nico last minute because she kept shadow-traveling away during the rehearsal

Percy asked Frank and Hazel but as they were still praetors they couldn't both leave Camp Jupiter. Hazel sent Frank with a generous wedding gift

Veterans of the Athena cabin who grew up with Annabeth volunteer to make sure everything goes smoothly. They know how important this is to Annabeth and will do whatever it takes to make the wedding happen

Jason would have officiated it :'( in his stead they asked Chiron

[wise-bluecookies]

Percy: Its quite dangerous here, wanna hold hands?

Annabeth: *smiles and takes his hand*

Clarisse: Its a supermarket-

Grover: In AMERICA Clarisse, shut up.

Grover: Wanna hold ha-

Clarisse: NO!

[butter-faced-nut-dragons]

Clarrise: You’re just an asshole aren’t you

Percy: No, I’ve got arms and legs

[miawin6]

PERCY JACKSON CHARACTERS AS BROOKLYN NINE NINE QUOTES

Season 1 Episode 3: The Slump

Frank: Oh, I love being Scary Frank. He says what regular Frank's thinking.

Frank: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market.

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Percy: Die Hard is the best cop movie of all time. One cop heroically saving the day while every one else stands around and watches. It's the story of my life.

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Percy: All right. Let me hit you with a little analogy. Are you familiar with race cars?

Annabeth: Formula 1 or stock?

Percy: That's already way more than I know about it.

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Leo: Frank, what would you do?

Frank: Ten thousand sit-ups.

Leo: Okay. Do you have a back up plan in case my hypothetical person can only do 9500? Or three?

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Annabeth: You're not a demigod so I'm not really sure how you could help.

Rachel: Mmm-kay. No hard feelings, but I hate you. Not joking. Bye.

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Nico: Ugh, constantly getting Mr. D's approval is the worst.

Percy: Yes. I can only imagine.

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Clarisse: No, Robo-Cop. It's got everything I like. Gratuitous violence.

Chris: Oh, I thought you were listing things.

Clarisse: I was. I'm done.

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Frank: Where do I affix the Princess Tower, Valdez? Where do I affix it?!

Leo: By the side of the turret-

Frank: Not now, Valdez. Let a brother breathe. Let a brother breathe.