#incorrect crows

[five-of-cr]

Them 🧡🩵

[ruins-and-rewritez]

*Crow conversation overheard on the streets of Ketterdam*

Inej: *shivers* hey Kaz, I'm a little cold do you think you could, you know

Kaz: of course *snaps fingers*

Jesper: *takes off coat and hands it to Inej*

Inej: thanks

Wylan: wait. what if I'm cold too?

Jesper: oh, well then *snaps fingers"

Kaz: *fans fingers out magician-ly, reaches inside coat to pull out, you guessed it, another coat that he hands to Wylan*

Wylan: *visibly confused* thank you? I think?

Inej & Jesper: *clap enthusiastically*

Kaz:*bows dramatically*

*Meanwhile trailing a little ways behind them*

Nina: *snorts* lol can you believe those dorks

Matthias: HoLy sHiT Nina did you see that!?!?! He pulled that coat out of NOWHERE!!!

[graaaaaayy]

Incorrect Crows

jesper : relationships should be 50/50. wylan cooks us dinner while i sit on the counter and look pretty. ____________________________________

kaz : goodnight to the love of my life, Inej and fuck the rest of y’all. ____________________________________ Jesper: From now on we will be using code names. Jesper: You can address me as Eagle One. Jesper: Kaz is “been there done that”. Jesper: Wylan is “currently doing that”. Jesper: Matthias is “it happened once in a dream”. Jesper: Nina is “if I had to pick a girl”. Jesper: And Inej is.. Jesper: Eagle Two Inej: Oh thank god. ____________________________________

The crows’ reaction to being told they're the chosen one Wylan : I will not let you down. Jesper: Sounds fun. Inej : K. Kaz : No, I'm fucking not. Nina: Do I have to be? Matthias: Please god, I am so tired.

[nerdlingmerchling]

Jesper: I think the scarecrow you've put on the front lawn isn't working.

Wylan: What do you mean?

Jesper: Kaz is at the door again.

[ivashkovadrian]

incorrect crows quotes #6

[sunfloweringstories]

Real quotes from my life as Crows (and Sturmhond):

Nina: “Okay don’t bring your self-hatred in here we are trying to hate on you.”

Jesper: “Of course I’m a fire hazard, I’m a total smoke show!”

Kaz: “This is so weird,”

Jesper: “What, that you walked into a church and didn’t burst into flames?”

Sturmhond: “I have a past”

Nina: “What kind of past?”

Sturmhond: “Let’s just say it rhymes with fiminal”

Inej, about Kaz: “It’s a walking ball of bad decisions”

Jesper: *hanging a poster* “Is this straight?”

Nina: “No you’re gay.”

Jesper: “Oh it’s gonna go so badly I’m excited.”

Inej: “They killed a fruit tree.”

Nina: “Jesper, you’re next!”

Nina, probably to Matthias: “You have to choose who to let brainwash you.”

Nina: “If this snake was a man, he’d be Chris Hemsworth. Look at that jaw…”

Wylan: “Sometimes it’s fun to just laugh at stupid stuff.”

Jesper: “Yeah! Wait, you laugh at me all the time!”

Inej: “He just can’t admit he has feelings.”

Kaz: “You can’t prove that I do.”

Nina: “If actions didn’t have consequences, I would not be good.”

Wylan: “You’re so demanding.”

Jesper: “Yeah I’m demanding, I’m DA MAN.”

Wylan: “Will you get your sharpshooter he’s trying to jump scare me”

*loud thump*

*pause*

Jesper: *muffled* “I might be mildly stuck.”

Inej: “Can you turn the oven off?”

Jesper: “I can turn anything off: appliances, women…”

Matthias: “What part of ‘AAAHHHH’ did you not understand?”

Jesper: “I will die!”

Kaz: “That’s fine.”

Nina: “I don’t make the laws.”

Inej: “I think that you should.”

Nina: “No that would be bad because I just wouldn’t make any.”

Jesper: “It’s okay to be a slut, it’s not okay to be a whore.”

Jesper: “It’s ParmesON. Get it? Like ‘it’s on’ but Parmesan.”

Kaz: “I think you should start using drugs to have an excuse.”

[wylanpersnalreadingboy]

Nina: *speaking Spanish*

Kaz: I know, I know.

Inej: You speak Spanish?

Kaz: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Nina speaks.

[doorlene]

matthias: you have friends and i envy that

nina: you can share my friends

matthias: [looks at the crows]

matthias: i don't want those.

[wylanisonthespecturm]

Ksz: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok?

Wylan: Okay.

*later*

Nina : Three! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble.

Kaz, whispering: Deny everything.

Wylan, loudly: That isn't a chair.

[five-of-cr]

the crows as reductress headlines: part 1

[ruins-and-rewritez]

Jesper: do you guys every think it's possible that Kaz is a vampire?

Nina: it's not impossible...

Matthias:...there is only one way to find out

*Later when Kaz walks in half way through dinner*

Wylan: hey Kaz 👋 would you like some garlic bread?

Kaz, who already ate: no thanks

Wylan: *eyes widen*

Jesper: *chokes on water*

Nina: *slowly pulls wooden stake out of her boot*

Matthias: *grips the crucifix hidden in his pocket*

Inej, not believing for a moment Kaz is actually a vampire: *sigh* Saints deliver us

and Kuwei: *slowly pulls scarf up to cover his neck more* oh hell no. i am not doing this again

[i-love-soc-a-very-normal-amount]

Accurate

Six of Crows, a summary:

[graaaaaayy]

jesper: welcome to applebee’s do you want the apples or the bees?

matthais, confused: bees?

jesper: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES!

nina: *walks out of the kitchen aggressively shaking a jar of bees*

[nerdlingmerchling]

Kaz: You've grown too attached to Wylan. He makes you weak.

Jesper: Yes. In the knees, mostly.

[ivashkovadrian]

incorrect crows quotes #7

[sayangrafayel]

Crow family Pt. Sign here.

MC: We're having twins.

Luke and Kieran: Oh, awesome! Congratula-

Sylus, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you guys, sign here.