#infinity particle

[magpiesbones]

oughhhhh more infinity particle thoughts bc I am Not Done Actually!!

THE. The COMPARISON of being a robot (loaded up with a set of beliefs by your creator with little to no agency in a world you do not understand, experiencing pressure to serve a certain purpose) to being a CHILD (arguably!! The SAME) and the thoughts that this is something you both can and should grow out of!! Yeah you CAN change the core of your beliefs if you disagree with what your parents told you!!

what is a child but a made creature!! What is growing up but figuring out how to be a person anyways!! FUCK

being a person is inevitable but you do in fact have to choose it!!

[davidmariottecomics]

A Matter of Time

Surf's up, gang! 

Aloha from the beach! Okay, not really. I'm at home at time of writing, but I've made 2 whole trips out to the ocean this week, so I'm feeling beachy! Which, if you live near the water, is a pretty good way to feel in the summertime! 

In enjoying the season, I started thinking about the complex production timelines of comics, the ways in which some comics feel timely when they were created well ahead of the events they seem related to, and a book I read recently that had one time element that really didn't work for me. So let's take some time to talk about time! 

Story of Seasons 

Where I live in the U.S., summer means a certain thing. At this time of year, we're largely through the June Gloom and into hot, sunny days. The sun rises before I'm usually up, and I wake up early, and sets around 8 p.m. Most nights, in at least some parts of town, there are fireworks. Folks are having barbecues at home and along the beach--which people are flocking too. The college-aged kids only roll up after they've got up, and since they don't have school, you can usually not expect to see them before noon. And while the coastline's popping, closer to us, things are quieter exactly because school's out and the college campus has largely cleared out. And, specific to where we live, it means the trolleys and buses and some buildings and street signs, have assumed their summer wrap, promoting Peacock and Futurama's return and whatever else companies spent boodles of money on to promote ahead of and during San Diego Comic-Con. 

That's what the exterior of my life is like right now. Sweet, hot, summertime fun outdoors--though I spend most of my time in with the cats. And there's still a little bit of that in my work. I'm planning meeting up with folks at San Diego Comic-Con and, while I'm not particularly involved, I'm watching Riley Farmer get the Sonic the Hedgehog: Endless Summer one-shot buttoned up for next month. But most of what I'm working on is already well ahead, working actively on releases across the fall, and switching from planning to the first steps of production on our winter releases with spring 2024 already cresting the horizon. 

It's a funky dichotomy. If you go into a comic shop in the next two months, summer programs will be in full swing, from DC's big summer crossover event, Knight Terrors to IDW's Endless Summer, to Ultimate Invasion and the Hellfire Gala stuff Marvel's got going on, as well as Skybound's kicking off their Energon Universe, and whatever stores have left of the projects kicked off for Pride. 

But because you're seeing those things in stores, it means they're done and as I've talked about a bit before, generally comics have to be done a ways before their release. In an ideal situation, a comic is done between 7 and 10 weeks before the on-sale date. In a less ideal situation, a comic needs to be done at least 3 weeks before the on-sale date for most printers/distributors/final-order-cutoff reasons. But, in the former case, it means this next week, I'd be looking at what needs to go out right around mid-September--the first week of fall. And those are the things that'd be finishing. Let's say you'd need at least 10 weeks before that for finalizing the script; drawing, coloring, lettering, and doing any production on the issue; and getting it approved by all the relevant stakeholders. So the things entering that phase in the next week wouldn't actually see stores until the last week of November. 

In the books world, there are three spans, rather than the four seasons. Those are Spring (Feb-May), Summer (Jun-Aug), and Fall (Sept-Jan). And when you're working purely with single-issue comics, when you're in one span, you're generally working on titles for the next. When it comes to collections and OGNs, you can be working on stuff years ahead of time. (As an aside to all this, it's also super interesting that this is how things are sorted because it really speaks to publishing in the northern hemisphere... sorry to anyone in the southern hemisphere who is looking at IDW's Endless Summer and thinking "but it's winter!") 

I bring all this up as a reminder that comics take a long time to make and when there are comics have a particularly timely element, like a summer event, they're the result of months of work and planning to hit that specific date that falls in that seasonal span. And while tons of planning can go into something like a 5th week event (in months with 5 Wednesdays, some publishers will add extra titles on the 5th week so they have releases for that Wednesday without disrupting the regular monthly schedule of their titles), it also means sometimes something happens that seems very intentional, but is purely coincidental! 

Unintended Timeliness

Wendy Xu has a new book coming out next month, The Infinity Particle. Like all of her books, it looks very good. Straight from the copy, it "explores big questions through the eyes of an aspiring inventor and the lifelike AI she finds herself falling for." And in the build-up to release, advance reader copies have gone out to booksellers, librarians, and reviewers--the folks who should see the book early because it will help the book get more traction in stores, libraries, and more visibility with readers. But because of developments over the past year, it also is now very closely tied to a hot button issue: AI. Through the circumstances of the world around The Infinity Particle's release, early reviews and examination of it are inherently looping it into the larger conversation. Wendy's gone on the record about, as she said, "'AI' (derogatory)" and "AI-in-fiction (complimentary)."  But one of the things she's also been very clear about is that she's been working on this book since 2018 when we weren't talking about AI in the same way. 

I bring this all up because, when taken with my previous point about how long it often takes comics to be made, a lot of the timeliness that you may seen in a work can be coincidental. As another example, I've been asked a few times about whether the Metal Virus arc in IDW's Sonic the Hedgehog was in any way inspired by the early days of the Covid-19 pandemic. That arc is, in many ways, about a global pandemic. That arc, also, was pitched over a dinner at WonderCon 2018, where only the very first issue was on sale a week early and the series had not yet launched widely. The majority of it was written and in production before March 2020 when the U.S. really shut down in the early days of their response. So, no, the timelines don't really work out, it was just happenstance. 

And as a writer/artist/editor/etc, that's one of the things you have to keep in mind. I came from journalism, where timeliness was often an important part of storytelling. "New" is 3/4ths of "News." But outside of strips and editorial/political cartoons, it is much harder to incorporate true timeliness to your comics work. So, often, the default is to look for timelessness--something that isn't pegged to a specific event or set of circumstances, but that can be appreciated whenever because it speaks to something larger. Timelessness doesn't need to be forward-looking necessarily. It can be reacting to or interpreting long-standing history. But the benefit of trying to tell a story that always feels relevant, even if the cultural context around it may change the reader's interpretation from your intention (and there's a longer conversation to be had about interpretation vs. intention), is it usually doesn't feel immediately aged. 

The flip side of things having an unexpected timeliness is when you try to execute something to be timely, but in the interim of writing to execution or just through the flow of time, it just isn't anymore. Somewhat recently, Becca rediscovered "Boyfriend" by Big Time Rush. Obviously, this song is like 13 years old anyway, but boy howdy does the song feel it's age when they call out 2008 Best Picture winner, Slumdog Millionaire. It's not to say you can't or shouldn't put things in the context of the time they're written in, just that being considerate of it is probably to your benefit because specific cultural and contextual touchpoints should feel additive to the work and the intention, not haphazard as a way of showing modernity. (Two quick asides to this: 1. If you don't like "Boyfriend" by BTR musically, you do need to watch the video because it is wild. However, maybe "Boyfriend" by Dove Cameron will be more to your tastes and is incredibly funny if you listen to it as a response to the BTR song. 2. Cultural references aren't the only things that can feel dated or be misused and make your comic worse--see every time AAVE is misused in comics and the creators are immediately dunked on.)

A Timeless Romance... And Leia Organa

Last bit for today, building off what we were just talking about. I recently read Neon Gods by Katee Roberts. It's a smutty retelling of Hades/Persephone set in modern times. (I'm still figuring out some upcoming blogs, but certainly the aforementioned AI and also why SO MANY WORKS are gravitating to Hades/Persephone are on the shortlist). Overall, I liked it. Like many first books in a series, I hear it picks up in later volumes. There's a lot to say about it, but one thing that really stuck out to me was while I understand that it is set in modern day, anytime it made a specific modern reference, it really threw me off. 

Throughout the book, people make calls on their smart phones and have video conferences and there are guns and cars and skyscrapers and other hallmarks of modernity. And it is totally fine. It sets the scene and makes sense for the story being told. But every once in a while--I remember it happening 3 or 4 times--something specific gets called out and it feels weird. One of those times being a reference to the gold bikini Leia wears in Return of the Jedi. It's the sort of touchstone that should feel innocuous. Most folks know it, even if they don't super know Star Wars. But when it happens as like a singular pop culture reference in a work (the other specific callouts I remember feeling odd were a reference to UC Berkley and a brand-name medicine), it weirdly works against the modernity because it feels too concrete in a world of otherwise abstract modern life. It is so solid, so recognizable, that it almost begs the question of why there aren't more references throughout and it vaguely asks questions of the world and of the characters that aren't actually consequential to the plot--or, perhaps, that are consequential to a larger overarching plot that isn't really investigated in depth in the first book. Either way, it was just a little moment that in my reading created a bump that I'm remembering a week and a half later better than some of the actual plot elements or hot smutty scenes, which probably is not the intent of that otherwise kinda throwaway line. 

FRIENDS! 

Okay, shifting away from all that for a moment, I wanna talk about my many cool friends! Who have a new page on my website! Inspired by the webrings of old, I wanted to do a little something to help folks who find their way over to my site find their way over to the sites of other cool folks who are making comics! Right now, you'll notice a lot of family and people who work on Sonic in addition to a few other friends, but always happy to add folks that I've worked with or know and like who might want a bit more web traffic flowing their way. 

While we're on the topic, I know a number of former IDW folks are still looking for work. You'll find links to their LinkedIns there and if you have any opportunities that might be a good fit, please reach out! Also specific shout-out to Yu & Me Books, who could use some help at the moment. 

Patreon!

I'm now on Patreon sharing, wouldja believe, this very blog! As well as some other cool stuff that I've got planned! If you've been enjoying the blog for a while and want a new way to read or support it with a small tip, the Patreon might be for you. I'm also going to be doing Patreon-exclusive blogs that show off stuff like scripts and pitching materials that I can share, WIPs of some of my personal projects, some weird video/audio/streaming content at certain levels, and have a somewhat ambitious group funding goal where subscribers to my top tier mostly help me fund making more short comics by being able to pay cool artists I know! 

Do you not want to read this pitch for my Patreon? Good news: If you subscribe to it, this is cut out from the blog! Ooo aah! 

What I enjoyed this week: Blank Check (Podcast), Craig of the Creek (Cartoon), Dungeons & Daddies (Podcast), Yu-Gi-Oh: Duel Links (Video game), My Adventures with Superman (Cartoon), the beach, Girly Drinks by Mallory O'Meara (Book), the aforementioned Neon Gods (okay, that was last week, but y'know), Stab that Cake (TV show), the only real social media, Clapback, Cruel Summer (TV show), Crime Scene Kitchen (TV show), "Shy Boy" by Carly Rae Jepsen (my queen), the music video for "Water Slide" by Janelle Monae (really loving the aesthetics of their new stuff), Starship Troopers (Movie), thinking about The Love Witch (due for a rewatch). 

New Releases this week (7/5/2023): Sonic the Hedgehog #62 (Editor) Brynmore #1 (Editor) - Actually came out in my last gap week, but go grab it! 

New Releases next week (7/12/2023): Off week for me! Buy something else groovy!

Final Order Cut-Off next week (7/10/2023 - AKA Preorder Deadline) Brynmore #2 (Editor) Godzilla: War for Humanity #1 (Editor)

Announcements:

I'll be at San Diego Comic-Con! My schedule's gotten pretty full, but if you're going to be there, do reach out and let me know. I'll at least try to say hi! IDW announced our panels for the year and I'll see you at Sonic the Hedgehog: Speeding to the 900th Adventure on Sunday at 10, room 25ABC! 

Side note, because con is coming, I may or may not have an update the week of SDCC itself! And Becca's Twitch streams will be off that week, but they'll be streaming throughout the rest of the month. Just anticipate Tuesday streams, rather than Wednesdays, because of some scheduling conflicts. Just through July. 

Oh! And a reminder I am on Bluesky, but don't expect to see me on Threads! That service seems lousy! 

Pic of the Week:

Becca and I at the beach! Beach stuff including some cool shells and part of a crustacean's shell! 

[tough-girl9]

OK, my Star Trek and Data fan peeps, I have a book you NEED to read: The Infinity Particle by Wendy Xu. It's a beautiful YA sci-fi graphic novel that just came out a couple months ago, and I am in love.

Set in a future colony on Mars, where advanced AI has become commonplace, it explores a lot of the same themes as "The Measure of a Man": what is humanity, at what point does a being become sentient, and what rights to autonomy and individuality do such beings have? Plus, it's got an adorable sweet romance between the human main character (who has an interesting twist of her own) and the (very cute) android who is struggling with his newfound feelings and sentience.

It's just...so gorgeous and so sweet and hitting me with all the cute android feels. I can't imagine anyone who's a Data fan in particular not loving this book, but I recommend it for any fans of sci fi and YA graphic novels

Seriously, I am going feral over this book.

[thecommunityoftrustworthysinks]

mentioned this in my last post under the cut but you have no idea how much it irked me as a physicist to read about how gege consulted a FUCKING ENGINEER about limitless. an engineer. an ENGINGEERRRRRR. i just. not even a mathematician? engineers don't work with theoretical physics. engineers hardly even work with nonreal math! you're out here designing a guy whose powers involve imaginary mass and divergent series and you DON'T even go to like the two fields that actually work with those things on a semi regular basis...an engineer.......what's he telling you....how to build a bridge?????????????

[blood-loving-leech]

theyre so gay

“they” being a male (assigned) ai bot living on mars gaining sentience as he falls in love with a human female clone from earth

[mysteryofspacetime]

Angular Velocity's Concept

Image Source: Pinterest

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb: In this gorgeous graphic novel by Wendy Xu, co-creator of the award-winning Mooncakes, a young inventor falls for a lifelike AI and confronts questions of freedom and autonomy.

Clementine Chang moves from Earth to Mars for a new start and is lucky enough to land her dream job with Dr. Marcella Lin, an Artificial Intelligence pioneer. On her first day of work, Clem meets Dr. Lin’s assistant, a humanoid AI named Kye. Clem is no stranger to robots—she built herself a cute moth-shaped companion named SENA. Still, there’s something about Kye that feels almost too human.

When Clem and Kye begin to collaborate, their chemistry sets off sparks. The only downside? Dr. Lin is enraged by Kye’s growing independence and won’t allow him more freedom. Plus, their relationship throws into question everything Clem thought she knew about AI. After all, if Kye is sentient enough to have feelings, shouldn’t he be able to control his own actions? Where is the line between AI and human?

As her past and Kye’s future weigh down on her, Clem becomes determined to help him break free—even if it means risking everything she came to Mars for.

Review:

When a young inventor falls for a lifelike AI, she also begins to confront questions of freedom and autonomy as she realizes that her dream job is not all that it was meant to be. Clementine Cheng has moved from Earth to Mars to find a new start with her dream job under Dr. Marcella Lin, an Artificial Intelligence pioneer. On her first day at works she meets Kye, Dr. Lin's humanoid AI assistant. Clem knows robots, she's built her own companion named SENA... yet something about Kye feels too human. The more time Kye and Clem spend together the more sparks begin to fly for them, yet it also becomes clear that Dr. Lin is getting angrier and angrier with Kye's growing independence. Clem just wants to help Kye but that means facing off against Dr. Lin and trying to look into the mystery about what she really knows about AI and if Kye is sentient enough to have feelings shouldn't he be allowed to be in control of his own actions? This was such a beautiful and and heartwarming read. I loved the artwork and the overall tone of the story was really interesting and I just had an absolute blast! I would definitely recommend this book!

*Thanks Netgalley and HarperCollins Children's Books, Quill Tree Books for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[sunnycosmology]

Feynman's Quantum Mechanics

Image Source: nige.wordpress.com

[spiderbae2319]

Ok I was today years old when I realized that the shrinking disks Scott used in first movie and Civil War would’ve saved a lot of fucking lives. It’d be a lot easier to squish Thanos if he was the size of an ant.

[lenbryant]

Dr. Blitz expands our minds…

[magpiesbones]

The Infinity Particle is VERY good actually

cute little robot rom com that is honestly. Really sweet.

ALSO. very fun and interesting way to subvert the ‘robot falls in love and becomes human’ trope bc like. Kye is still a robot!! The being a robot part isnt a metaphor for being unfeeling it’s a metaphor for being a child which is VERY fun and interesting actually. Everyone is also on board with the ‘robots become people sometimes’ thing from the beginning which is also pretty refreshing. Everyone agrees that this robot has personhood EXCEPT the abusive parent-figure. This is one of the defining ways that she’s presented as a shitty person actually! The robot has personhood outside of falling in love and the falling in love is actually mostly not related to the personhood except for how he likes that she does in fact respect the personhood (objectively attractive trait to have).

sweet book!! Cute art!! Delightful robots!!

[wickedzeevyln]

Carbon

Define existence. Strewn across the universe from dead stars we still see today. They hang by the rafters of the night sky drunk at a cosmic soiree—here we are, their offspring, trying to unlock their secrets, but in vain. As they, so too are we carbon based. Here we are. Held together by carbon. A cluster of countless particles with approximately 42 million molecules housed in each cell. And I…

[tough-girl9]

Cute android is cute

No one has created any fan art or fanfiction (that I can find online) for this adorable book, so I guess I have to take matters into my own hands.

[kitsuneheartreviews]

Graphic novel: "The Infinity Particle" by Wendy Xu

Artificial intelligences have managed to achieve true sentience. Not all of them, and not predictably. But sometimes, their consciousness is undeniable.

Also, sometimes they're really cute.

At first, Clementine was fascinated with the AI Kye because he was made by her mentor, Dr. Lin. And, yes, a bit because he was attractive. But soon, she's attracted to his personality and the mysterious code that makes it. But Kye is a valuable resource for Dr. Lin, and she doesn't want anyone snooping around in his code. And she especially doesn't want someone taking up his processor space with...feelings.

A nice balance between the mystery of Kye's programming and the romance between Kye and Clementine. Just when you're getting a bit tuned out on one, the plot switches focus to the other, giving a nice little thrill to the reader.

As in the cover, the artwork is two-tone, blue and orange. The large majority being that blue, but when an image is done mostly in orange, definitely pay attention! It's a visual and emotional highlight. Also, keep an eye out for all those cute little AIs! Not all of them are dreamboats. Most are just little adorable blobs, and make you want one of your own. Someday? Sigh...

Advanced reader copy provided by the publisher.

[readingrobin]

Yeah September was a bit of a lax month when it came to reading. I was coming off of a reading slump after doing a month long readathon and wrapping up summer reading, so I think I needed a bit of a break. You can definitely see that from most of my reading being made up of graphic novels, my go to slump reads, but hey at least I've mostly enjoyed what I read for the month. Here's hoping for a stronger bookish October.

Total Books Read: 11

Total Pages Read: 3,561

Books Read:

Suncatcher by Jose Pimienta (2/5) - Graphic novels that feature music are a really tough sell at times, seeing as you don't have that auditory element to help fall into the story. I've read some that are fairly passable, but I think this one misses the mark. Not so much because of the music, but every other element seems so flat. The art style is gorgeous; it's one of the better aspects of the comic, but everything else really didn't help draw me in.

I found Beatriz to be such an unlikable lead. Sure, her perfectionist attitude derives from wanting to save her grandfather, but it's the only side we ever see from her. There is no progression of behavior other than going from overly passionate to dangerously obsessive. She's constantly dismissive of other people in the band from the start and I just didn't connect with her.

There's also some weird anti-indigenous sentiment going on, framing someone from a tribe indigenous to Mexico as a sort of "devil in the crossroads" character. It feels so out of place within the story, which already wasn't doing much for me. Absolutely phenomenal illustrations, but more could have been done here.

A Guest in the House by Emily Carroll (4/5) - Carroll is an absolute master at setting a horrific scene: the build-up, the tension, the malicious foreboding that precludes a disturbing payoff. She knows how to play with her readers, how to hide small details in plain sight, of instilling us with a similar feeling to that of the main character, that things aren't exactly happening as we remember them or as we're told. We feel just as out of sorts as Abby, where delusion may be slipping into reality and vice versa.

The art of this story is absolutely visceral, where moments of domesticity overlap with nightmarish creatures that look straight out of Hell. I liked the small detail that Abby seemed to be the only character without pupils (that I remember), giving a small hint towards the validity of her perceptions.

Not everyone is going to be satisfied by the open ending, but I didn't mind it. The horror comes from the vagueness of it all, that all the things that we imagine are going to be scarier than what actually is. We don't get answers, and that can be frustrating, but also terrifying.

The Infinity Particle by Wendy Xu (3.5/5) - I have to say, this is one of the most immersive sci-fi worlds I've been introduced to. There's so much creativity in the setting and designs of the various robots that it always made the pages interesting and engaging. It reads like a classic CLAMP manga, giving it a sense of nostalgia for us older manga readers. I know the comparisons to Chobits are everywhere across various reviews, but it at least gives you a small idea of the setup. I will say, it's a little more tasteful in certain ways with more emphasis on the characters as individual people with their own traumas and development without going into objectifying territory.

I like how Clem and Kye's experiences, while different, perfectly mirror each other, so their empathy and concern for the other feels natural. The questioning of AI ethics was also very well integrated into the story, adding more of a domestic drama element rather than something more thrilling or high stakes. 

Confetti Realms by Nadia Shammas (4/5) - Confetti Realms is an autumnal delight, its story and atmosphere an equal mixture of Alice in Wonderland and Over the Garden Wall. The Halloween vibes are strong with this one, presenting a world that expertly struts down the line between whimsical and unsettling.

For a comic that feels so chill and almost relaxing at times, there's a slew of deeper issues that haunt our ensemble cast: taking care of a sick parent, mental illness, guilt, self-hatred. Their emotional arcs bring a good amount of weight and resonance to the story, but they may have hit harder if the introductions to these characters would have been a bit longer.

It felt like the story started a bit too late and ended way too early. While we get resolutions to the emotional journeys of the characters, the narrative ends too abruptly to be entirely satisfying. Still, I had a good time reading the story and getting a kick out of the utterly horrifying presence that is Tom the puppet. Not a bad way to start off the spooky reading season.

The Pirate and the Porcelain Girl by Emily Riesbeck (4/5) - Sooo, is it fair to label this graphic novel as Our Flag Meets Death with Adventure Zone humor or am I saying that just because there are gay pirates in it? Either way, if you're a fan of either of these you're definitely going to love this one. The art style reminded me a lot of Carey Pietsch's work on the Adventure Zone graphic novel, so that's probably where I got those vibes from. There's a great message of not changing everything you are just to accommodate the people you love. 

It's a cute love story nonetheless, with a hilarious supporting cast and a thrilling, expansive world. 

Black Sheep by Rachel Harrison (4/5) - This has been my second Rachel Harrison book, right after Such Sharp Teeth, and I think I have found a new favorite horror author. Harrison has such a way of getting right under the skin of her characters to display all their pain, fear, and insecurity while also having them sufficiently face down the true horror of their situations. Vesper, our lead, is someone who carries an immense weight of religious trauma, which only becomes more complicated and messy due to the specifics of her upbringing and family life. It's a situation so many can relate to, though, of course, not nearly to the same degree. The themes of reluctantly inheriting legacies, of fearing the traits and aspects we carry due to a few blood ties are especially resonant. The terror of this book comes from domestic and infernal sources, giving it a layer of relatability on top of some truly horrific moments.

I absolutely flew through this book, marveling at how naturally the narrative flowed. Everything starts at a slower, steadier pace, then gets absolutely bonkers towards the second half. I will say that this is a title where readers should be aware of trigger warnings such as religious trauma, cult activity, and abusive/neglectful parents. Other than that, this is definitely a book that you want to know as little as possible going in.

Junkwraith by Ellinor Richey (2/5) - I don't think this is a story that's going to be sticking with me for much longer after I'm done. While visually distinct, with a cool color palette and creative designs, its story and world building are too vague and underdeveloped for me to keep any interest in it. Are the Jujus an important part of this society or do they have the same significance as any technological companion? What ARE junkwraiths? Are they ghosts? Manifestations of misplaced energy? Why are they so dangerous?

It felt so long, but it didn't really use its length to its advantage in fleshing out the world. There are plot points that are engaging places to start, but they sort of fizzle rather than go anywhere. I had gotten about halfway through the comic in one sitting and could have really stopped there, but I always feel bad about DNFing a graphic novel when it wouldn't take much just to finish it.

Dear Mothman by Robin Gow (3.5/5) - A very sweet, emotional story of a closeted trans boy sending letters to Mothman as he processes his grief from losing his best friend. Queer people have always seen themselves in monsters, a connection from one "other" to another and this aspect is definitely a core element of the story. Any book that tries to combine a coming-of-age queer story with any sort of cryptid involvement is already a winner in my book so I may just be a little biased. There were some slower moments that were a little hard for me to get through, which I think is mostly due to the format making me think the book is longer than it really is. But really this is going to be such an important book to trans kids looking to find themselves in fiction.

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (4/5) - (Review)

Mall Goth by Kate Leth (4/5) - What I expected to be a funny, nostalgic coming of age romp about being a goth/mall rat in the early 2000s surprisingly evolved into a mature, realistic take on grooming and predatory behavior. Don't get me wrong, that is in no way a complaint on my end, because the story perfectly balances its shifting tones.

Liv deals with all the normal teen problems: longing to find acceptance, working an embarrassing job to get some extra cash, getting wrapped up in all the teenage hormones that come with having a crush, She faces some additional struggles, such as past bullying due to her bisexuality and an absent father, but is still hesitantly open enough to start some new friendships. Building a sturdy support network is a large part of her character journey and I'm so glad that the author included a mix of her friends as well as some trusted adults into that group. It does away with the tired YA cliche of adults being fairly useless and showcases positive teen/adult interactions alongside a more harmful one to denote the differences.

Though I wasn't a teen yet by the time this story takes place, I definitely could feel the nostalgia sinking in when seeing some of the clothes and the general vibe of the mall. Also, noticing all the movie/music posters on Liv's wall (I peeped Nightmare Before Christmas, Edward Scissorhands, and of course who could leave out good old Siouxsie?) really did warm my aspiring Goth heart.

BEASTARS, Vol. 1 by Paru Itagaki (4/5) - This manga has such a unique, charming style that gives each character a lot of personality. I've seen the first season of the anime and have basically just been dragging my feet getting to the manga, so I have an idea of where the story is eventually going to go. It's an intriguing concept, a world of anthropomorphized animals trying to live in harmony despite the ever looming threat of instincts taking over. It's introduced well in this first volume, the danger immediately established at the beginning when a herbivore student is killed by a carnivore on school grounds. I'm interested to see what sort of nuances will appear in this society and ultimately where the allegory will end up.

[mrskokushibo]

Just this once

Kokushibo x afab!reader

Warnings: Sex, Smut, MDNI, NSFW, 18+, Kokushibo allows the reader to be a dom for the night, pegging.

Summary: In this atmospheric, steamy dark smut, you become Kokushibo's first-ever female tsugoku, but very soon, you realise that there is more to your relationship than just sword training... He will let you discover a side of him you never knew existed...and after that, you will crave more...

Masterlist

When the word spread that the powerful Upper Moon One was searching for a new tsugoku, things became hectic at the Infinity Castle’s trial grounds, the place where all the infamous blood battles were fought between the upper ranks and where the training of new talents was most frequently conducted. The place breamed with young cocky lower ranks, strutting around like peacocks, intimidating each other with their various physical prowess.

None of them seemed to display any above-level intelligence, and only one was wearing some form of katana. You were standing slightly to the side, watching, and being watched. You were not like any of them. They were all dwarfing you physically, but you did not feel insecure. You knew you had assets none of them possessed: intelligence, cunning, and a high level of swordsmanship.

‘Line up.’ A harsh command sounded through the courtyard.

Very quickly all the aspirants were standing in a neat row, a few were still giggling and talking. But then, as if with a cut of a sharp blade, silence fell almost instantly. An intrusive, oppressive darkness began to diffuse through the warm air, a feeling as if an invisible fire was claiming possession over every particle in its range. Was this what Hell felt like? No one was left unaffected, including the lower rank of the twelve Kizuki that was coordinating the selection event. Some were beginning to cough, showing signs of their breath not coping with whatever was invading.

A few moments later, and there he was. Upper Moon One, also called Kokushibo: the source of the hellish aura that claimed everyone’s strength. He was standing at the opening of the gate, in complete silence, commanding respect and instilling fear in even the cockiest of the young demons. A tall figure in traditional attire, with a fury of black hair and six burning red and golden eyes, a demon samurai, with a power born in the deepest forges of hell.

You have never encountered a presence this ominous. Not even Muzan-sama emanated this much darkness. If you did not know any better, Kokushibo might as well be the Demon King. Slowly and majestically and without uttering a word, he made his way to the end of the row and commenced his inspection of the candidates. You did not dare look up and so you fixated your gaze on a bunch of pebbles in front of your feet. After what felt like hours, you lifted your eyes only to note that he was now two demons away from you. You could hear him speak quietly in a deep and serious voice, a quick interrogation with just one short question: ‘What makes you think that you are worthy?’

And then it was your turn. You thought you knew how to answer, you prepared yourself for ages. This was all you ever dreamt of since you became a demon.

‘Master, I simply want to be the most loyal servant that you could ever have.’

You went silent, as no more words could make their way out of your constricted throat. He stood in front of you for what seemed like a bit longer than what he did with the others. It was almost as if his terrifying gaze softened for a split second. But then he nodded and moved on to continue the selection.

As soon as he reached the end of the row, he walked back to the gate and pointed his clawed finger … toward where you stood. Immediately, the cocky demon closest to you stepped out of the line believing it was him that was chosen. But quickly, he was put in his place.

‘Not you, you fool. You.’

Kokushibo’s voice resounded and filled the courtyard with almost as much power as his aura did. His finger moved slightly more in your direction and as if in a trance you stepped out of the line without him reprimanding you. So, it was … you…

‘Training begins tomorrow. Be ready when I summon you.’ And with that, he left.

The days that followed were a blur. His training was intense with very few breaks. He was a fair sensei, but you were exhausted after each day. He did not seem to lose any of his strength or stamina no matter how hard you were going at him in the sparring. He would not speak much to you either. Apart from instructions and commands, he was short and the hours were passed in silence. He did seem to, however, soften in his attitude toward you, almost so that you could at times spot a glimpse of an occasional faint smile and a softer gaze in his six eyes.

Weeks passed like this when finally, in the middle of a tough sparring match he suddenly paused and waved you in. Without any unnecessary pleasantries, he began to speak:

‘You are progressing well and I am confident that you are ready to learn a breathing technique.’

This was beyond you, as it was only Kokushibo, Kaigaku and the human Demon Slayers that possessed that ability.

‘Will you teach me Moon Breathing, Master?’ Your eyes were still wide in disbelief.

‘No, I do not think your body could handle it. We will devise a technique that suits your physique. After all, you are a female.’ A brief, faint smile graced his face only to disappear just as fast.

He noticed, of course, how wouldn’t he? With his constant transparent world ability, he must have known all along…

The truth was, that all your life, you were uncomfortable in the body your soul was allocated to at birth. A masculine spirit that was trapped in the body of a woman. For years you were rejecting your state, training hard in any martial art you could find, just to counter what the gods threw at you. You developed a slender and athletic physique, however, remaining feminine enough to attract looks. When you became a demon, you could at least attain a physical strength that surpassed any human male. And you were content with that.

As for your looks? Well, you tried to disguise your femininity as much as it was possible, wearing a traditional gi and hakama as well as having your hair cropped short with heavy bangs covering parts of your face. This gave you a fierce look as it was only one of your narrow and predator-like eyes that was visible at any time.

You were shaken out of your thoughts by Kokushibo:

‘Before we proceed with the breathing technique, I would like to offer you an evening of respite. A small reward for your dedication and hard work. I would like to invite you to my mansion for dinner tonight. Would you like to join me?’

‘Master, anything that pleases you is my delight. Thank you for the invitation. I will be honoured to join you.’

He was studying you for a moment, just as if something else was on his mind.

‘Good, I will send a servant to get you tonight then. Be ready at the edge of Infinity Castle. Now go, you are dismissed for the rest of the day.’

As you were making yourself ready for dinner, you could not help but ponder over the true reason he wanted to invite you over to his place. But you quickly dismissed these thoughts as they were foolish and disrespectful.

When the time for your appointment finally came, you were met by a quiet demon servant of Kokushibo. As soon as you stepped on the gravel path, the heavy mist descended seemingly out of nowhere, obscuring your view to only the faint light emitted by the lantern bobbing in front of you carried by the demon leading your way to Kokushibo’s mansion. It was as if you were led by an ignis fatuus, a mysterious will-o'-the-wisp. Everything was quiet, even the sound of your footsteps felt muffled by the heavy blanket of the surrounding fog.

Your progress was slow and it felt like the trip would never end, but before excessive wariness got hold of you, the mist slowly dispersed and you could make out the contours of a wall and a large building looming behind it. Your footsteps felt loud again as you stepped on the wooden bridge leading over the moat and toward the gate. All the time you were walking you asked yourself why wouldn’t he simply teleport you to him. But soon your thoughts got distracted by what became visible to you when you stepped through the gate.

The path led into a well-manicured, large garden, with a mixture of Sakura trees and smaller, ornamental flowers and bushes. Water was pearling in a nearby fountain and warm fires set in traditional lanterns illuminated the almost magical space. Neat gravel paths cut through the garden and to your left in the distance, you could make out what seemed like a training ground.

This would not be the end of your astonishment as very soon you were being let into the mansion itself. After leaving your zori in the shoji, the servant led you through a short, dark corridor and into the room where Kokushibo was awaiting you. You did not know what to expect out of the home of a powerful demon, but definitely imagined something ominous and not overly welcoming to visitors. Instead, you were met by an inviting, ambient space.

The tatami was covered with oriental rugs, there were bookshelves on the walls and various intricately crafted decorative objects emerged from the shadows and into the amber light of the multiple lanterns scattered around the room, as you were slowly making your way toward Kokushibo.

He was already seated at the far end of the room, the contours of his noble figure merging into the space, more resemblant of a statue than a person. He watched you in silence as you approached and pointed you to your seat with a subtle hand gesture. Just as in training, he was not emanating his aura, instead, a strange sense of peace was radiating from his being.

‘You look sophisticated tonight.’ The directness of the greeting took you aback. You did indeed make the effort to look your best, replacing your masculine outfit with a flattering silken, bronze, and gold-coloured kimono. You did not, however, expect him to take notice. You just felt it was in a good tone to show respect by wearing appropriate attire.

‘Thank you, Master. You too look great, as always.’ You almost bit your tongue at your ridiculous response. His reaction was almost comical as he was apparently attempting not to laugh.

‘Well, let us eat. I gather you must be hungry.’ You nodded to this, still recovering from your idiotic and clumsy earlier remark.

He nodded to the servant waiting at the door and a few minutes later an array of fragrant dishes was placed in front of you. As you both ate, he was slowly becoming more talkative giving you more courage to ask a question that was on your mind ever since the selection night.

‘Why did you decide to choose me, Master?’

‘Well, you were the only one of that sorry lot that displayed some promise, but also because you are a female and I was curious. Not once before have I had a female in my service.’

You could not deny that ever since you started training with him, you were slowly becoming more and more susceptible to him. You never thought a male could instill such feelings in your tough, masculine heart… So, you blushed at his response. He noticed that and smirked.

‘But I must ask you. Why are you covering up the fact that you are a woman?’

Your response was long and when you were done, you felt stupid for blabbering on like you did. But he did not show any signs of annoyance. Instead, he stood up and invited you to join him.

‘Come, I have something to show you.’ He walked over to the wall where a magnificent purple katana was placed on a stand.

‘Do you see this? It is a symbol and a reminder of my own transformation. This was mine when I was still a human.’ He lifted the sword off its stand and slowly pulled the blade out of its’ saya. Instantly, you backed off. It was a Nichirin. He noticed your action and continued talking.

‘Yes, it is a Nichirin. As you may or may not know, I used to be a Demon Slayer once.’ He sheathed the katana and placed it gently back where it belonged.

‘All I am trying to say is that we all go through transformations and life is not a constant.’

He moved closer to you, his hand now touching your shoulder. He was a bit too close for comfort, but something kept you in place, you wanted him this close… It was as if he could sense your feelings.

He leaned into you and whispered:

‘Excuse my impertinence, but have you ever been with a man before?’

Whether it was the closeness or the obvious meaning of his question, either way, you started to feel the familiar fluttering in your belly accompanied by spreading warmth and wetness slowly accumulating between your legs.

‘Yes, I have, but it was never…’ You started off shyly.

‘...good...Is that what you are trying to say?’ He finished your sentence for you and you nodded in response.

‘Well, how about I show you how it should really feel like.’ His deep, warm hushed voice was sending shivers down your spine.

‘Now, Master?’ was all you managed to whisper.

‘Yes, now. I cannot wait.’

With that, he lifted you up bridal style and teleported you both to his bedroom.

He set you down on the floor in front of him, cupped your face in his large, calloused hands, and gave you the softest flutter of a kiss. His hands were soon untying your obi and once it was off, your kimono came undone and he slowly removed it from your body. He stepped back, admiring you.

‘You are a work of art…’ He moved closer to you again, his hands caressing your breasts and back. His touch was firm but gentle, no one has ever handled you this well. With skilled hands, you untied the belts of his hakama and the obi holding his kimono in place and removed the entirety of his garments. You were both naked, warm bodies embracing each other in anticipation of the approaching pleasure. He started slowly guiding you toward the futon and when you were close enough, he commanded in a soft voice.

‘Lie down, I wish to pleasure you now.’

He positioned himself between your legs, your sex straight in front of his face. He looked you deep in the eyes as he dove in to lick the outside of your folds. His gaze did not drop yours as he started to spread your slick-covered labia to grant himself better access. He held them apart with the fingers of one of his large hands and buried his face between them, his tongue lapping up your juices, pressing down firmly, and moving at a steady pace. A finger was now tracing circles around your sopping opening, only to proceed to snake its way into your pussy.

Next, you could feel two fingers scissoring inside you, small, deliciously wet squelching sounds filling up the room. He was growing harder and needed some friction to not become too pent up, thus he pushed you further onto the bed so that he could rub his hard cock on the futon underneath him. He started groaning as his manhood finally received the desired pressure and proceeded to abuse your cunt at a more ferocious tempo, concentrating on the area around your clit. You were consumed by your pleasure, unable to do anything else but arch your back and moan, giving yourself fully into the waves of warmth washing over you. Your hands were desperately grabbing and pulling his hair and as he directed all his focus onto your clit, you began to edge, tears filling up your eyes.

He noted your inner muscles clasping hard down on his fingers and your thighs being sent into small convulsions. With a few hard and fast taps of the tongue, he sent you into your orgasm, making you scream and wail. While rubbing his aching hard dick back and forth into the mattress, his face got squirted with your juices and as he was lapping up your cum, he hissed:

 ‘I can’t hold back anymore, I’m coming.’ And so, he climaxed, spraying his seed onto the sheets beneath.

His own orgasm did not seem to distract him much as within a few breaths he was back to abusing your now overstimulated clitoris. The whole area between your legs was swollen and blood-filled and he was working you relentlessly.

‘Please stop, I can’t.’

‘Yes, you can and you will.’

His eyes had a playful cruelty in them as he kept on licking and rubbing you all over. Tears were pooling in your eyes from overstimulation and your legs were shaking beyond control.

‘This is too much, please..’ You were pleading in protest with a hitching voice.

‘I will pull one more out of you, even if we will be going for hours.’

He intensified his actions, increasing the pressure and strength and very soon you were overcoming the overstimulation and heading toward another climax. With a loud, throaty moan, grabbing hold of his mane for support, you reached another release. This one turned your mind into fuzz and you were simply lying there, splayed on the futon, like a wet rag doll.

‘I am not done with you yet. I need to be inside you.’

He spoke quietly while climbing on top of you and spreading your legs with his massive, strong thighs, his voice sunk an octave lower sending you into overdrive. He was huge, everything including his perfect, large cock was as if carved out of marble. You were tracing the outlines of his muscles, wiping the small droplets of sweat that glistened sensually on his smooth skin. He lowered himself on you, nearly crushing you with his weight, and kissed you, snaking his long demon tongue deep into your mouth. You reciprocated and it was as if the two of you were trying to devour each other. The fire of your passion burning your senses up to dust.

Meanwhile, he shifted his hips and you could feel the tip of his cock press against your gaping entrance. Your core was now aching and dripping so you took him in with ease. His length was filling up your pulsing and needy pussy, your clenching muscles milking him while already on the way in. He commenced thrusting into you, slowly at first but soon increasing his speed and intensity as guided by your savage moans. You were on the edge of consciousness. What he was giving you was beyond anything you could have ever expected. It was as if he was moulding your body to his and all you could do was to allow him to become the master of your senses. The fire inside your core was now intense and you felt that anytime soon, you would climax all over again.

But before that happened you could feel him grow inside you and his thrusts became harder and deeper. And then suddenly, his abdomen muscles contracted and with one deep push into you, he emptied himself painting your velvety walls with his warm, thick cum. As if his seed was the only thing able to extinguish the fire in your core, you came almost simultaneously, squirting all over again, causing you to fill up to the brim with both of your combined juices.

You closed your eyes as you were completely spent, with him still inside and on top of you, thick white slick running out of you and down on the sheets. He was kissing your cheeks and neck softly and when a whisper left his lips, it seemed as if you were deep in a hazy dream:

‘Next time I will grant a wish that I can sense lies in the depths of your soul. I cannot make you a man, I am not God, but I can help you feel like one for a night. Come back here tomorrow and I will make it come true.’

When you woke up the following morning, your body was still imprinted with the memory of his touch. The intensity of sensations kept your flesh nearly at boiling point, despite having been granted release so many times… You moved your hand to your groin and started pleasuring yourself, moaning louder and louder the closer you were to your imminent climax. With eyes closed and thoughts invaded by him, you rode out your high and collapsed exhausted.

You had a day off as Kokushibo was on a short mission somewhere. You took the opportunity to just sleep, eat and relax. After all, tonight would bring new intense experiences… You were equally anxious as you were excited.

With the approach of the night, you were once again led through the same misty path and to Kokushibo’s mansion. This time around, you were led directly into his private sleeping quarters. Tonight, the room was filled with candles and there were wine and various snacks next to the large futon. He greeted you with a deep, passionate kiss and went over to get something from a nearby side table. When he walked over back to you and before handing you the item, he lifted your head by the chin and looked you deep in the eyes:

‘Are you ready to fulfill your wish? Do bear in mind, however, that I would not do this for anyone else but you. Do you understand? So here, I think this will help you feel more, mhm, in character.’

He handed you the object and you were perplexed. You had heard of such a thing but never saw one in real life, let alone used one. It was a fake penis, made in black, shiny, and bouncy material, strapped to a bunch of belts. You must have looked confused as he interrupted your hesitance:

‘It is a strap-on. You use it as if it was your own cock.’ He smiled playfully and winked.

‘Let us see if you are up for it. And oh, I almost forgot.’ He went over to the side table again.

‘You will need this. To make it smoother for us both.’ He handed you a small bottle of oil.

‘Well then, Master, I want you to fuck me hard.’ His lewd and playful words almost made your jaw drop.

Quickly, you regained your composure, as a chance like this, granted by no other than the powerful Kokushibo, would most likely never arise again. You manned up and walked up to him. You grabbed him by his long ponytail and yanked his head back while undoing his clothes with your other hand. You nipped his exposed neck with your fangs and whispered:

‘I will make you scream in pleasure, by the end of the night you will be begging me for more.’

As you let go of his hair, he looked back at you, a mischievous smile lighting up his face. He seemed pleased with your performance, eagerly awaiting your next step. You nearly tore his clothes off him and pushed him onto the futon. You proceeded to deliberately slowly remove your own garments. He was watching you with a hungry look in his eyes, biting his lip and cocking his head playfully. When you were completely naked you grabbed the strap on and after a short moment of inspection, you put it on, making sure it sat on properly.

‘What would you like me to do now, Master?’ He spoke in a flirtatious tone. His cock was fully erect, small pearls of precum already running down the shaft.

‘Lay flat on your stomach.’ You commanded.

*This was starting to feel good*, you thought. Your initial astoundment with being allowed to treat your sensei like this was as if washed away. Instead, you began to feel a powerful adrenaline rush ripping through your body. You grabbed the bottle of lubricant and climbed onto the futon.

You crawled on top of him, pressing his hard cock even deeper into the bed, causing him to release a deep sigh. His huge, hard glutes felt so good under your hands when you were massaging him, spreading his buttocks, and landing an occasional spank.

‘Harder, please.’ He taunted you while lifting his head up and giving you a lewd smirk.

‘No looking.’ You riposted, surprised at your sudden firmness. But you did listen and spanked him harder this time, your hand leaving a red print on his firm flesh.

‘Yes, Master.’ He chuckled out and moaned when the hard spank pushed his hips as well as obviously his dick into the mattress.

‘Please, fuck me hard.’ He kept on taunting.

‘Quiet.’ Another hard spank landed on his ass.

This time he obeyed and you could get to the main course. After you poured some oil onto his buttocks, you started spreading it around, massaging, and using your fingers to prep him before the oncoming penetration. You poured more oil into the palm of your hand and spread it all over the black dildo attached to your groin. Without a word you positioned the tip of it at his entrance and slowly, but steadily pried your way into him. There was the faintest twitch from his hips and thighs, but very soon you could see him slowly pump his hips into the mattress as you were moving in deeper. His breath was heavy and apart from that he was now completely silent. No more bratty remarks nor comments seemed to be in place anymore.

As you began pumping in and out, his hip movements followed your rhythm. You were holding on firmly to his buttocks with both your hands, the feeling of being in this position made the already strong onslaught of adrenaline completely empower you as you felt a surge of strength and aggression run through you. You gritted your teeth as you increased your pace. You could feel your cum literally run down your thighs, you have never been this aroused in your life. It was as if you were turning into a wild beast with its own pleasure as the only goal.

You saw him move his hand to his groin, grabbing hold of his cock to speed up the nearing climax. You could see his arm muscles flex as he was pumping alongside the continuous hip thrusts into the mattress. You sped up again causing him to growl and as you pumped relentlessly, stimulating his prostate, his whole body contracted and he sprayed out cum all over the sheets and his chest with a loud growl.

Cautiously, you pulled out. You grabbed a towel from the bedside table and wiped him clean, removed the strap-on, and wrapped it in the towel, dropping it to the floor.

As you climbed off him, he was lying on his side, breathing heavily, his eyes fogged up with lust and the remains of the recent pleasure. His lips were parted and he was looking at you from under his bangs.

You crawled closer to him and gently rolled him on his back. His arms fell limp to the sides and his face lit up by another lewd smirk. Without a word, but looking him straight in the eyes, you wrapped your hands around his limp cock and started stroking it until hard. It did not take long to get him erect and very soon you were straddling him, sinking yourself down onto his thick length. Your excessive wetness made it easy to do it in one swift move that made him almost gasp for air, as you seated yourself fully, he was now essentially balls deep inside you. Without hesitation, you started bouncing on him, every hard movement creating the perfect friction and making you moan in pleasure. He tried to touch your breasts, but you batted his arms away.

‘No touching. Not until I tell you to.’

You could feel the pressure inside your core reaching the point of being almost painful. Chasing your own release, you leaned over him, your chest almost flat on his, and began humping frenetically. In your mind you imagined him being your little bitch and you her master, dicking her down with your large manhood. You were humping hard and fast, almost at the limit of what your thigh muscles could take.

‘Rub my nipples.’ You hissed out and he obeyed.

When your sensitive buds ended up being rolled between his long fingers, you started to lose control. The entire depth of your inner muscle clenching and milking him relentlessly. You lowered yourself down to his neck and sank your fangs into the skin while scratching his arms with your claws. And doing this pushed you over the edge, your orgasm sending shockwaves of pleasure as you screamed your lungs out.

You kept on humping him lightly even after your climax, but your movement was slowing down as exhaustion was finally catching up with you. That is when he caught you off-guard.

‘I would like to come too, Master. Please?’ He whispered in your ear, landing a powerful thrust into you, making you almost fall off him.

You looked him in the eye and began riding him as if in a trance. He was groaning quietly as you felt his cock grow and twitch. And as you increased your pace and licked the side of his neck, ending up nibbling on the lobe of his ear, he came, growling loud and spraying you full of his cum.

He wrapped his arms around you and you remained in his embrace for the rest of the evening. You were not sure what the future held, but right here, in this moment where time stood still, you were exactly who you were meant to be.

Tagging: @horror4themasses @muzansfangs @sunsblaze

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