#insurance payed off most but not all of my car loan which was very stressful because now i was paying for a car that i didnt even have

[bipolar-boygirl]

Not to be a Salty American (though as the great Hannah Gatsby once said, making fun of Americans is still technically punching up,but that window is closing), but I've been thinking a lot about a specific video from a Nigerian creator I follow whose platform is about showing that africa as a whole isn't poor and a lot of the things the west sees as signifiers of poverty are culturally preferred methods and items. Her videos are very lighthearted and funny normally, but I saw one recently about how Africans (her words) don't pay for things with credit, and that we (Americans and I'm assuming the west in general) can't live without credit, our whole system is based on credit. And she's right, but it was treated as some sort of Gotcha moment, and not the horrifying mechanic of capitalism that it is

I was lying in bed this morning after having a nightmare that I lost a part of my arm and couldn't afford the surgery, the whole dream was me trying to find ways to make the surgery cheaper, to find loopholes in my insurance, stressing about missing work, and it ended with me sobbing because I finally had enough money for the surgery but it would wipe out every cent I had, and I would be left with nothing while recovering and unable to work. This was something my subconscious mind conjured because I'm dealing with a much less life threatening equivalent of needing to get my wisdom teeth removed and not being able to afford it (though the longer I go without it the more likely I am to get an infection and if that gets into my blood or my brain I'm fucked, I'm catastrophizing here, but it's a very real fear I'm dealing with).

My options for getting my wisdom teeth removed are: to continue to try to save up the money regularly, which is a very slow going process and at my current rate of saving I could break even on the surgery in about 4 months, but much like my dream it would take every dollar I have, so that's not actually true, is it? It would take me much longer to save up enough to not go broke, so realistically at my current rate I'm still probably over a year away.

Or: sign up for something like care credit, which is basically a loan specifically for medical costs. It's even interest free! Unless of course you're unable to pay back the full loan in the agreed upon time frame and then you owe a predatory interest rate on the entire amount they loaned you, regardless of how much you have left to pay off. If I had a better credit score, I might be able to put it at least partially on a credit card which would have an interest rate from the start but a lower one. But I don't have a credit card because I was forced into a position where I HAD to get a car with a car note and due to my non-existent credit score at the time I had to settle with a 20-something % interest rate and now have a $450 car note a month for like 6 years. Most starter credit cards require a cash deposit and between all my bills (aside from rent, my car note is the most expensive which is why I brought it up) and trying to save up the old fashioned way I just really don't have the money to spare to get a credit card. I could probably get one without a cash deposit, but then we run into the issue of the predatory interest rates again

Or: I could set up a gofundme, which is a whole other can of worms and with everything else happening in the world, with all of the fleeing families, and the abuse victims, and people with actual life threatening medical needs on there, my silly little wisdom teeth don't seem all that important.

So yeah, Americans can't live without credit, but it's not something we chose. It's just another tool capitalism uses to drain every last penny they can from people after inventing credit scores (didn't exist til the 80's) and making everything so fucking expensive you can't even afford it with insurance (yeah that amount I'm saving towards? That's my cost WITH insurance), so you have no choice BUT to pay for things on credit

I know it's fun to make fun of Americans guys, I used to do it all the time myself. But, just, we aren't doing so hot.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

[rosie-26]

The Beginnings of a New Blog

Hey there!

My name is Rosie and I’m a qualified cardiac nurse working in Wales, UK. Welcome to my blog :)

This blog is going to be a mismatch of all the different things that I enjoy including; my work in the medical field, my specialism in cardiology, my studies to become a medical student, my love of literature, travel (now that the world seems to be opening back up again) and my plan to improve my lifestyle and fitness!

Last week I turned the grand old age of 22 and I’ve come up with a ‘bucket list’ of all of the things I would like to achieve by the time I turn 23. So here are my 22 goals:

1. Read 30 books (I love reading but I don’t make enough time to get stuck into my enormous ‘To Be Read’ list, so this year I’m tackling most of them!)

2. Get a tattoo (This will be my second tattoo but I am planning to get more- I actually have a tattoo booked for in a weeks time!)

3. Donate blood (I’ve already donated blood twice before but I’m definitely going to keep on donating as much as I can)

4. Apply for medical school (A large part of my blog is going to be centred on studying and documenting my journey to get into medical school. Even though I have a career as a qualified nurse, I’ve always wanted to be a doctor but not taking college seriously and below excellent grades which are needed to apply meant that I had to chose a different degree. Luckily many universities in the UK have alternative routes into medicine for students who have already obtained a undergraduate degree).

5. Sit the GAMSAT exam (a key entry requirement for all graduates to sit before they apply for medical school is the dreaded GAMSAT exam. My aim is to sit in 2022 but I’ve got a lot of studying to do in the meantime to prepare myself)

6. Lose 5 stone ( lockdown and the stresses of university and working during the covid pandemic has definitely resulted in me binge eating and using food as a comfort. I’ve joined a gym, started swimming and eating a more balanced diet)

7. Travel abroad alone (even though I’ve been lucky enough to travel to a lot of places, I’ve never plucked up the courage to fly somewhere by myself, this will be the year!)

8. Travel to a new city every month (whether this is abroad or just simply exploring new cities around the UK and closer to home)

9. Start a Tumblr blog ( Tick! )

10. Try 10 different cocktail recipes (I do have a bit of a weak spot for cocktails, I feel as though I’ve tried several but would love to actually make my own!)

11. Try 10 different baking recipes (Something that I used to love doing before I moved out and started university was baking. Shared kitchens at university and lack of funds for ingredients stopped all of that but I would love to start up again. There’s something so satisfying and calming about baking!)

12. Go to a comedy show (I’ve always wanted to go to a comedy show! The atmosphere seems amazing and it’s just been on my list of to-dos for a while now)

13. Book a dentist appointment (I know this one is a little bit gross but it’s something I haven't done in a while, I get scared very easily going to the dentist and I’ve been putting it off for ages!)

14. Write 3 medical essays (Is it weird that I actually really enjoyed writing my dissertation?! Well, I did. It’s a goal of mine to eventually have work that is published in medical journals but for now I’m happy just writing for fun and practicing my academic writing)

15. Sort out my wardrobe and give to charity (I’m guilty of buying too many clothes which eventually just end up in the back of my wardrobe, unworn and collecting dust. Last year before I finished university I managed to sort out 3x black bin bags full of clothes and shoes and donate them to charity)

16. Save at least £100 a month ( I know it doesn’t sound a lot but because I rent by myself and I’m paying my car loan, I don’t have a lot of spare money each month)

17. Go to 10 different museums and/or art galleries (one of my favourite pastimes during my days off or when I’m visiting a new city is to explore the local museum and art gallery! There’s just something so relaxing about walking through all of the exhibitions)

18. Grow my fingernails (I have a horrible habit of biting my fingernails when I’m stressed or anxious. The past year has been particularly bad so I’m going to try and make a bit more of an effort to grow them!)

19. Fit into my size large scrubs (the size I started with when I started University which I now can’t physically get past my thighs! I’d love to be able to fit back into them!)

20. Be able to run 5k (I love the couch to 5k app but I’ve never actually managed to complete it)

21. Go on a hike every month (living in Wales there are plenty of walks/hikes that I haven't managed to explore but I’d love to see a bit more of what Wales has to offer).

22. Buy a new MacBook ( I know this one seems strange but I’ve had my MacBook for 6 years now and I’d love an upgrade! Whenever I save up enough money something always happens like car insurance, MOT that I need to use the money on)

So there it is! My list of 22 things I want to achieve by the time I turn 23. I’ll update you along the way :)

I’m really looking forward to starting this blog and hopefully you guys enjoy the content!

See you soon,

Rosie x

[lesbemums]

Honestly, the amount of time I spend talking and stressing about sperm is ridiculous, especially for a lesbian!!! Straight people, and especially the majority that don’t have fertility issues, have no idea how good they’ve got it.

My wife and I have both always wanted 3 children. However, making our son cost us around £8000. We both work full time and our jobs pay enough to live on, enough to put a way a bit of money each month, we’re comfortable! But it’s just not cutting it when it comes to saving for a second child. We’re worse off now than when we didn’t have a kid, our outgoings are higher having an extra person to feed and clothe and entertain. We’re running a second car and had to take a loan out to buy that second decent car when my old one broke down suddenly. I worked out that at the rate we can save, we can only do IUI twice a year. And it has a success rate of max 20%. How depressing is that? If we wanted to do IVF, it would take us YEARS to save for it. We really hoped we could have a two year age gap between our first two. And the third? We’ve pretty much had to give up on the idea of a third.

We’re in the UK so we don’t have things like insurance, all of our costs are out of pocket. The NHS won’t help in our area until we have 6 failed IUIs under our belts, that will cost us roughly £18,000. Whereas a straight couple has to try via the conventional method for 1 year and fail to get pregnant. Which is FREE. I get that they can’t automatically help us just because we lack sperm but it’s very frustrating.

I was really hoping to be able to afford to try twice more before the end of the year but the costs just keep adding up and making it less likely. Thanks to Brexit, there’s an extra 20% VAT on all things imported into the UK from Europe. Our sperm is shipped from Denmark due to the UK’s shortage, which means roughly an extra £200 per vial of sperm we ship over (we already pay 20% VAT on the sperm when we buy it as well!!!). (I totally voted against Brexit btw and feel even more justified in doing so now.) It also costs €300 for shipping. My wife’s blood test checks ran out in June so we’ve got to fork out for those to be done before our clinic will do my IUIs. Once we get the sperm shipped to our clinic, they will charge us £400 to store it. Currently they’re still charging £100 per COVID test as a precaution (over-cautious in my opinion), so if they don’t get rid of those by the time we try again, it’ll cost us £200 per cycle as they require 2 each time. So it’s not just the £1000 per vial of sperm and £1500 per IUI cycle. It’s mounting up.

My mum and step dad have been really great through all this. They gave us money to help out before we made our first, that bought my wife’s first properly reliable car (and a bit extra when we couldn’t quite swing it), they bought our travel system for kiddo #1 which was pricey! And they’ve already given us £2000 to make #2 which is gone already after the first attempt and all pre-testing that I needed. They’re going to help out again in a few months by paying for a round of IUI too, which I’m so grateful for. But still I’m not sure we can afford the 2 rounds by the end of the year! I’m now even at the point of considering asking for help from other family members. I’ve literally never asked for money my whole life.

I’m really reluctant to have to do any fertility stuff January - March because of the sporadic but often quite bad snow that we’ve got the last few years. It’s a 60 mile drive to our clinic and I had a car accident due to the snow in 2018 so I have major anxiety about driving in the snow. And my wife has major anxiety about motorway driving after a lorry knocked her off the road shortly after my accident. So driving around that time is not ideal. But can we afford the tries we’re hoping for before that? I don’t know.

The next stress is our sperm donor’s stock is running out. Every time I look it’s gone down, and in fact since I last looked, it’s gone down by about 30 vials. There’s only 60ish left total, 23 left of the MOT20 that we buy. The other vials are an extra €400 as they’re MOT30. We’re buying 2 vials for our 2 attempts, but will have to keep a check on them and buy more if we can if it gets crazy low. We really want to use the same donor if we can, so our kids can at least be genetic half siblings. Our donor has no quotas left for UK, which means that there are 10 families that have bought sperm from him in this country. That’s not counting how many from Europe where they don’t have a cap in most countries. So the remaining sperm could sell out FAST with that many people using it!

With the sperm stock being so low, we’ve decided only 2 more IUI attempts and then it’s time for IVF. We’re hoping to avoid having to do something so invasive but we can’t afford to keep trying IUI if the sperm is going to run out. We can’t afford to buy that many vials. The only hope we have of doing IVF is taking out a loan. This stresses me out further since we already have a loan for our car and our outgoings are high. When I’m off on maternity leave, most of that time I’ll only be paid statutory maternity pay which is about £150 a week. It’s good that we get paid, I know a lot of countries don’t get that, but with that much of a pay cut, we’ll be living pay check to pay check, and if we take out loans, I don’t know if we’ll even be able to get by.

If I could live my life without ever having to hear about straight people getting knocked up by accident, that would be great, thanks! It’s so hard to not have access to sperm. Also, if people would stop telling us that there’s ‘no good time to have a kid’ and that everyone thinks they won’t be able to afford it (when they’re clearly not thinking about the fact that we’re concerned about the cost of MAKING a child, not keeping one alive).

All I want is another child, my body knows it’s time, I’m yearning for a baby that doesn’t even exist yet. Waiting is killing me, and not knowing how much time it will take is the worst. And the ultimate agony is knowing that we can’t just keep trying. It feels like we’re in the process of trying since our first failed IUI in May, but each month there’s no chance of success. Every month when I start getting PMS symptoms, the very same symptoms as you might get in early pregnancy, I get sad because I know it’s just PMS. There’s no chance of a baby.

I just want my baby.

[illlidans]

Buy used car tips

Action 1: Establish Your Spending plan You can purchase a used vehicle with cash money or by getting a vehicle loan. Presume which way is the smartest. We just advise spending for an automobile with cash money. No vehicle repayments right here! Yes, that suggests you'll have a severe damage in your cost savings, yet you'll miss the stress of investing thousands of dollars on car loan repayments monthly. Isn't that outstanding? For instance, if you borrow $10,000 for an automobile with a 5% rates of interest as well as a term of five years, you'll end up investing an added $1,322.74 in passion. Not so inexpensive anymore! However prior to you lose hope, remember this: You can find reputable pre-owned vehicles in any type of cost variety. If you're battling monetarily, you can locate an automobile to obtain you from point A to factor B for as low as $1,000 to $2,000. It might not be rather, yet you'll get by. If you aren't satisfied with the vehicles you can manage, bear in mind that you can take all that money you reduce vehicle settlements every month as well as stash it away for an upgrade. Just make it a top priority in your budget! P.S. If you need a budgeting tool, provide ours a test-drive in a Ramsey+ complimentary trial. It'll help you get going on ending up being debt-free and also functioning your method to the cars and truck you really want. Step 2: Find Your Perfect Vehicle When you have actually established your budget plan, you can locate your excellent auto. Not your dream auto. Your ideal car. It's the one that ideal fits your way of living and your reasons for buying it. Prior to you state your commitment to your favored vehicle brand, go back as well as have a look at the kinds of vehicles and what each was created to do. Trucks, as an example, were designed to lug goods and also hefty materials. So unless you're hauling heavy cargo regularly (you know-- crushed rock, lumber, blocks), do not buy a truck. For a great traveler lorry, stick with choices that are portable as well as energy reliable, like cars, hatchbacks or hybrids. Narrow down your choices with this fast list. Read through these declarations and also pick three that relate to your situation the most. Use your solution to assist choose which sort of cars and truck is perfect for you. ____ I want a vehicle with a lot of freight space. ____ I desire an automobile that can fit even more people. ____ I want a lorry with far better gas economy. ____ I desire an automobile that's very easy to enter and out of. ____ I want a lorry that's risk-free. ____ I want a lorry that's much better for the environment. ____ I want my lorry to lug heavy cargo. ____ I want to go off-road or on harsh terrain. ____ I desire my lorry to be compact as well as light for city car park. ____ I desire my car to have lugging abilities. As you choose your perfect vehicle, you'll have to make some sacrifices as well. You won't discover an automobile that does whatever. So prepare your heart for that. Be honest with yourself regarding your wants as well as your requirements, and believe long term regarding exactly how you'll be utilizing your automobile. Want to Save a Little Money? Obviously you do. So think about features you do not need your vehicle to have. Not simply technology like in-dash GPS, Bluetooth connectivity and also backup video cameras-- yet the basics as well. What kind of standard points? Well, take cylinders, for instance. Today, a 2011 Kia Sorento with 6 cyndrical tubes prices around $8,350 to $10,750.4 The exact same Kia with a four-cylinder engine? $7,750 to $10,150 (as well as these numbers change almost day-to-day).5 Though it might not feel like a great deal, you can take that added (virtually) $600 as well as put it towards your car insurance policy. Tip: Unless you're hauling hefty freight, simply stick with 4 cylinders. What concerning the transmission? Stick shifts are typically cheaper than automatics, some versions also improve gas mileage, as well as last but not least-- they're simply ordinary enjoyable to drive. As well as do you actually require four-wheel drive (AWD), or can you get by with front- or rear-wheel drive (2WD)? Unless you reside in the hills or handle great deals of rain, snow as well as ice on your commute, stick to front- or rear-wheel drive if you're simply driving in the city. Bonus Tip: When you're comparing different automobiles, do not neglect to think of insurance costs also. Deal with an independent insurance coverage representative who can help you save without shedding on protection on your cars and truck. Action 3: Buy a Used Automobile Now that you understand how much you can spend and also what kind of cars and truck cares for your requirements, you can begin buying. But initially, let's talk about two areas you ought to stay away from. New automobile dealers. Although a lot of new car dealers market utilized cars, they're always a lot more costly. Buy-here, pay-here great deals. These great deals refer to car dealerships that not just offer autos (get here) yet additionally use vehicle loan (pay here). You have actually seen these places. They generally have multicolor pennant streamers strung between light posts as well as a 20-foot blow-up gorilla trembling a "sale" indicator. Yep, you understand the kind. Stay clear of these lots as well. Their cars have a lots of surprise charges, and they likewise typically have less than a 48-hour return policy. With a little bit much more looking, you can locate better utilized cars somewhere else. Here are 6 places to begin your search. CarMax has a significant online stock and a very detailed cars and truck inspection. Carvana, like CarMax, has a huge supply and also does careful vehicle inspections. The difference is that Carvana is entirely an on the internet vehicle buying experience. And also Carvana delivers the cars and truck to you! Craigslist doesn't bill you a purchase fee (like ebay.com does). eBay Motors markets cars and trucks with online auctions and buy-it-now straight acquisitions. Display room grass can be dangerous, yet sometimes, the very best deals come from purchasing from an exclusive proprietor. Independent utilized vehicle dealers are likewise a clever area to look. Certain, you need to discuss with aggressive sales people, however you can certainly locate an offer at a strong car dealership. Step 4: Identify the Utilized Car's Worth Currently it's time to identify if the used automobile you have actually picked deserves the price. Collect all the info you can on the cars and truck so you can talk the vendor down to a much better deal. 1. Start with Kelley Directory (KBB). KBB uses data collected from real sales purchases and also auction prices to give you an exact price variety for the made use of cars and truck. 2. Buy a car history report (VHR). A good VHR prices regarding $50 as well as consists of mishap history, possession background, and also a lots of various other records. A VHR eliminates a great deal of uncertainty regarding the used car because it will certainly reveal you if the automobile has actually been in any kind of mishaps or has actually already invested a great deal of time in the shop. Vehicle Background supplies a totally free fundamental record, however if you will drop a couple grand on a used vehicle, purchase a detailed record from CARFAX. You'll require the VIN number (usually discovered beneath the windshield on the driver's side). Pro suggestion: If the VIN number has been damaged off or eliminated, don't buy the auto. That's a big warning. Possibilities are, the secondhand vehicle has actually been taken or the seller is concealing something. 3. Determine the possession price. That's what you'll spend to preserve the vehicle (oil modifications, new tires, liquid purges) as well as what long-term fixings you must anticipate for the make and design you're taking a look at. You'll likewise require to understand the costs and availability of substitute parts since parts for some automobiles are extra costly than others. You can make use of Edmunds Real Price to Own device to get a great price quote. 4. Discover on-line discussion forums concentrated on the used cars and truck. Virtually every design has an online forum with strings extending back a great while. Seek common concerns that owners have had with the type of automobile you wish to get. 5. Check the automobile's recall history. Don't think the vendor has actually dealt with a used automobile's security recalls. Actually, over 70 million vehicles get on the roadway with open recalls on them.6 And yeah, you guessed it-- people still try to market those automobiles without getting the recall fixed. So what can you do? Examine the National Highway Web Traffic Administration for your automobile's recall background (if it has one). 6. Request an insurance quote. Used cars and trucks are normally less costly to guarantee than brand-new ones. Actually, a 5-year-old auto is about 14% less costly to insure than its brand-new equivalent.7 If you already have insurance, ask how much your premium will certainly alter if you buy a certain make and also model. Work with an independent insurance policy agent who will do the buying you. Tip 5: Inspect the Made Use Of Auto Yourself Even if you're not a mechanic, you can use this listing of advice from the Department of Motor Automobiles to check for signs of damage and misuse. While none of these things alone should quit you from acquiring the automobile (except for major damage, like a blown head gasket), a bunch of these can stop you from buying somebody else's cars and truck trouble. Under the Hood Examine the oil level as well as color. Oil dipsticks lie near the engine (generally a yellow stick). Oil must be light brown. If there's no oil in the engine, that's a good sign this is a bad deal. Check the shade of the oil under the oil cap (located on the engine). If it's milky-- what some mechanics call "mayonnaise"-- do not buy the used cars and truck. If the oil is milk like, it's combining with coolant, a common indication of a blown head gasket (in some cases a $3,500 fixing). Check the belts. Belts lie around the engine, occasionally on the engine's side, so you may need a flashlight for this action. Belts ought to be smooth with no fractures. Broken belts aren't a bargain breaker, but you'll require to replace them quickly. Examine the transmission liquid dipstick (generally a red stick). Transmission liquid ought to be pink or red. If it's black and also smells burned, that's a poor indication. Transmission replacements are costly, so if you locate that the vendor hasn't replaced the fluid in a while, reevaluate buying the used cars and truck. Check the degree of the coolant. It needs to be between minimum as well as optimum. The coolant tank is someplace near the radiator. If you can't find the reservoir, ask the seller where it's located. Caution: Don't open the coolant cap while the engine is hot or if the automobile is running. Check the brake fluid. Make sure it's at the highest level. Outdoors Check out the cars and truck's paint work. Look for damages and also scratches. Check the tires. They ought to all coincide (not mismatched), as well as they should have also put on across the width. Look for scuffs, splits and cuts along the sidewall. Check the spare tire too. Examine the tail pipeline. If it's black, that indicates the vehicle is shedding oil-- an additional poor indicator. Open and shut the doors, as well as the trunk, fuel door and gas cap. Ensure they all job. Inspect the lights. Ask the vendor to run the directional signal, fronts lights and brake lights as you make sure (outside the car) that they function. Inside Take a deep breath. If the cars and truck smells mildewy or if you see mold under the seats, there's a likelihood the car has water damage that could bring about expensive electric problems. If there's an air freshener or if the cars and truck scents suspiciously scented, open the windows and also leave them open as you examine drive the car. When you're done with the test drive, you'll have the ability to smell the car's natural scent. Check the endure the steering wheel, seats and also pedals. Minor wear can be anticipated-- particularly if it's an older cars and truck. Lock and also unlock all doors. Make sure they function. Check A/C as well as heating. Everybody takes these things for provided ... till they don't function. Idle the cars and truck and watch the temperature scale. You do not want to acquire a pre-owned vehicle that overheats. See to it the radiator followers kick on when the temperature starts increasing. Step 6: Opt For a Test Drive When you're taking the vehicle for your initial test-drive, turn off the stereo and ask your guests (perfectly) to stay peaceful so you can pay attention for any problems. Before you test-drive, choose a route with hills, bumps and, yep, even potholes. Even if you intend to make use of the automobile on highways and level roadways, examination the auto on harsh roads to get a feeling of just how it handles the roadway.

Utilize your test-drive to respond to these inquiries:

Feel Exactly how does it feel on level roads? Smooth or bumpy? Just how does it feel when it hits a bump or pothole? Does it rock aggressively? Does the auto battle to pick up speed? Do the equipments transform smoothly? Is the brake squishy or also delicate? How does your body really feel after the test drive? Was the seat uncomfortable?

Sound Does the engine sound smooth when you increase? Does the engine rattle, knock or grind when you still? Are there resonances or weird noises under the hood when you speed up over 60 MPH? Do the brakes squeak?

View Can you see out of the cars and truck easily? Do you need to stress your neck to check your blind spots? Does black smoke come out of the exhaust when you begin the car or increase? Is the RPM gauge constant when you idle? Does it rise and fall way too much?

Smell Transform the cooling to a modest setting. Do you scent burning oil? Action 7: Take the Made Use Of Vehicle to a Reliable Mechanic If the car has actually passed your individual examination, great. Currently allow's see if it passes the technician's examination. If the vendor does not want an auto mechanic to evaluate the vehicle, that's a negative sign. Constantly have a mechanic check a secondhand car, regardless of the condition. A great auto mechanic will inform if you will purchase a trustworthy previously owned cars and truck or if it has any type of issues.

When it pertains to assessments, you have two options:

Take the cars and truck to a trustworthy garage. Most cars and truck garages charge a flat charge for checking made use of automobiles. They'll place the automobile on the lift, check for corrosion and also corrosion, as well as tell you if the utilized auto has extreme fluid leakages. If you're working with a private seller who does not desire you to take the vehicle off his/her residential property, established a mobile assessment. A technician will pertain to the vehicle, execute the examination, and print out the results. If a technician tells you the car has problems that surpass its worth, kindly tell the vendor you're no longer interested, or utilize that knowledge to reduce the asking price. Tip 8: Usage Arrangement Skills If you have excellent factors to believe the vendor must decrease the asking cost, you can utilize everything you've just learned about utilized automobiles as ammo to work out a far better bargain. Arrangements can be tough for people who don't like to be confrontational. Bargain like a professional with these 3 ideas. 1. Bring your research to the table. Allow's say the vendor wants $3,000 for his previously owned Volkswagen Jetta. Kelley Directory claims the ordinary rate range for that Jetta is $2,800 to $3,000. But you observed that the tires are bald as well as a front lights does not function. And also you review online that this version has troubles with radiator followers. Your VHR reveals no owner has actually ever before replaced the radiator followers. Ah-ha! Now you have actually got something. Bring all this details to the seller-- factor in the cost of tires, a front lights and a radiator follower-- and supply less. 2. Pay in cash money. Inform the seller you'll be paying for your used car in cash money-- just don't expose how much money you have. When vendors sniff eco-friendly, they're most likely to agree on your terms. 3. Hold your horses. If the vendor does not budge, you can leave. You have all the acquiring power. Most of the moment, they need your money more than you require their vehicle.

This article is written by https://allamericanexporter.com/

[frogl3gs]

re: ynab

responses to my post because they were too long for replies lol

@farmfreshmuscle I’m not sure there’s a setup for a physical zapper for partner’s overspending but i believe they do a really good job at alerting for overspending lol

@mx-sweets I used to use mint! however it was a very long time ago, before intuit bought mint so i’m not sure what the user interface looks like now. mint always felt more like a retroactive application to me rather than a thinking ahead/budgeting type situation. ynab is a little different in that they emphasize your current money numbers versus planning ahead/future numbers. ynab follows the envelope system and one of their rules is “give every dollar a job.” you’re only operating with the money that you have and you give that money a job ie you put it in a category for something you are either saving up to purchase or a bill that’s coming later on. this leads me to having more money in my bank account than i ever thought was necessary. this might sound dumb but it’s really opened my eyes to how much on hand money i actually need to feel prepared and ready for expenses. previously, using a spreadsheet/do it myself method, i always knew the total amount of money i needed to pay my bills and groceries and those types of things but whatever i had left over would be split between savings and fun money. which is fine and it worked for me! but i just feel so much more secure using ynab because I like to plan for things and i’m really visual so seeing it all laid out really helps me get the full picture. the plus side of that is i’ve cut out things i don’t really need anymore and have been able to pay off a few of my smaller student loan amounts. purchases feel doable now. and if i get a random charge pop up or a sudden increase in a bill for like summer utilities in texas or an unexpected car necessity, i can just take some money out of one of my future purchase categories and cover the emergency without needing to dip into my savings. if you’re familiar with dave ramsey’s envelope method it is 100% that, just purely electronic.

@paperbackist yes i am paying for it! for you, I would suggest checking to see if your bank account links with the app since you’re in canada however i think they link to most major banks. they have a free trial month and if you use a referral link i give you then you get a free 34 days plus i get a free month. no pressure though because i’ve got like 5 friends already signed up to try it out on my link lmao so i’m pretty good there. but it’s truly changed my mindset about how much money i can keep in my bank account and has really shown me how to make my money work for me. it’s just really helped me feel way more in control tbh. like i’m getting my wisdom teeth removed soon and that’s already a fully funded thing for me that i can cover 100% out of pocket (my insurance will cover some, i’m just trying to be prepared) and now i don’t have to stress about the money over this surgery even though that’s something i’ve worried about for years. idk, that peace of mind is worth it to me. i pay more for more trivial things so that’s basically how i’ve justified the cost. it also makes me interact with my bank account daily which sounds cumbersome but it takes five mins at most! 

@. anyone and everyone: if you’re interested i can send you a free referral link that gives us both a free month. i’ve sent it to a couple of friends and i’ve helped them set up their basic budget as well. so if anyone wants tips or help, i can def be there for ya. it’s my latest hobby lol. also my rec if you’re wanting to try it out: set it up on desktop and then do the day to day stuff in the app. it’s much easier that way in my opinion.

[mattonious]

MY UNEMPLOYMENT PAY RAN OUT, I’M STILL JOBLESS, AND I HAVE UPCOMING BILLS - PLEASE HELP!!

hey all - i feel rotten having to make this post, but there are literally no other avenues for me to take other than this at this point, and i’m really, really hoping i can get some help with this.

my name’s matt - i’m a genderfluid transmasc bi with severe depression, anxiety, and adhd who desperately needs assistance.

i was one of over hundreds of people laid off from my previous company i worked at in order to “cut costs” back in June of 2018. since then, i have been furiously applying to all sorts of programming jobs, and have gotten several interviews, on top of studying programming courses, yet due to the fact that i’m very new to the programming scene, and only have a year and a half of work experience, no one has been able to hire me as of yet.

i was forced to move in with my parents, and am now under constant surveillance by my very controlling and mentally/emotionally abusive father, who gives me very little privacy, and demands i must do things exactly his way and with perfection, which has been taking a toll on my anxiety and severe depression.

and now, i have just found out that my allotted unemployment pay has run out, and i am unable to receive any other form of financial help until July of this year. my father absolutely refuses to help make any financial help towards my situation.

i have monthly bills coming up for February that absolutely must be paid so that i can maintain a good credit in order to be able to move into my own apartment again.

the total monthly amount for my bills rack up to about $825. this includes cell phone service, credit cards, car insurance, uhaul rental (since i cant fit all of my stuff in my parents’ apartment), and my college loan.

i am asking that you please, please consider donating any amount you can to help alleviate this incredible stress until i am able to finally find myself a job. i am currently waiting to hear back from 2 different companies, but i will most likely not hear anything until the middle of February.

if you’re unable to help donate, a reblog will absolutely also help.

please consider making a donation thru my paypal

again, any and all help is appreciated. thank you so much for your time. ♥

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

Serious Consideration

Two days ago the sous chef at the restaurant my husband works at was fired.  Yesterday the owner told Husband he’s expected to work that job as well as his current responsibilities.  Today Husband said he’d only be doing that if 1) he was given the promotion and title, and 2) he’s given the same wage as the sous chef was.  The owner said the position will no longer exist, and he won’t get a promotion or pay raise, and that he needs to be a “team member.  Husband said he’s not going to work the extra responsibilities without the raise and title.

For several weeks he’s been looking for a better job with better pay.  Today he’ll be more aggressive about it.  He has over 30 years experience working in the restaurant industry.  Earlier this year the head chef quit and someone with very little experience and no management skills was promoted to the position.  NO ONE LIKES THIS GUY!  He’s been fucking up left, right, and center.  Husband should have gotten that job, everyone but this guy feels the same way, and the owner refuses to listen to reason. 

The owner claims to be a “good Christian” but is a hardcore capitalist and treats his employees as slaves, giving raises only because the state has increased the minimum wage.  He’s raising wages a little bit every year only because the state requires it, and would have everyone at minimum wage if he could.

So here’s what we’re considering: We need to move out of the area. 

The place has been fraying on our health.  The air quality has me fucked up due to the fact people here would rather use wood-burning fire place instead of cleaner safer options to heat their homes.  Fire season has fucked with my asthma, allergies, and done a number on my anxiety and mental health.  The dry air hasn’t helped with my breathing; I went from using my emergency inhaler maybe two or three times a year to using it almost daily (and every time we leave the house).  Husband’s allergies have gotten worse since moving here (his sister, who convinced us to move here, said his allergies would basically vanish here), resulting in a lot of headaches, frequently requiring a third and even fourth allergy medication to control them (both meds make him extremely drowsy), and feeling like shit.

Rent is shitty here, and our landlady keeps raising the rent every year.  Finding a new place is nearly impossible due to 1) high rental prices on very small places ($800 for a 350 sq ft studio apartment) and 2) few places available (a lot of people live in RVs because there’s nowhere else to live).  When we moved in back in 2017 after a fire took our previous home (yay for renter’s insurance) rent on this place was $900.  It’s now $1090 and she plans on raising it another 10% every year.  If we sign another contract for this place, rent will be $1110.  Fuck that, we can’t afford it.

Well-paying jobs are hard to find in even the restaurant industry.  They all want to start Husband at state minimum wage!  WTF!?!

Finding good doctors and counselors here that can provide me with the treatment I need is difficult.  This is a rural fucking area.  We have to drive over an hour to get to my neurologist, who’s an asshole, but the only neurologist who accept Medicare.  My primary physician is well-loved and as such is booked with appointments going as far as six months ahead.  It took almost FIVE YEARS to find a counselor who’s qualified to treat me and accept Medicare and Medicaid.  Said counselor has urged me to move to the other side of the Cascades as soon as we are able.

We have exactly zero friends here.  The two we do have will soon no longer be here.  One is the former sous chef and the other is his wife.  They have family on the other side of the Cascades who will help cover the cost of moving over their, and the two of them will be gone by the end of November.

Husband is on the verge of a psychotic break from all the stress at work, finances, and taking care of me (I’m disabled and he’s my official caretaker).  I want to help with the finances, hence selling the quilts I make, but so far I’ve had very little luck.

We generally hate the area and it benefits neither of us to remain here.  We simply can’t afford to actually move.

I need/want to set up a GoFundMe.  We’ll need a minimum of $25k.  Why?  We can’t physically pack and move everything ourselves.  Our physical health will be put at serious risk.  We have a lot of heavy furniture and no one to help us pack and move it.  I cannot physically help beyond packing smaller things and putting the boxes in piles for Husband to move.  He will be doing all the heavy lifting on his own, risking serious injury.  We need to hire professionals or people in general to at least help us move everything into a truck we rent.  We have no local friends who will/can help us.  Then there’s the cost of the rental moving truck (U-Haul or Penske).  On top of this we’ll need to break the contract on our current rental home.  We’re signed up till July 2020, and if we break contract it’s going to be expensive, and we won’t get our security deposit back.  The chances of us finding someone to take over the rest of the contract is slim to none.  We also need money for some kind of housing while we seek out more permanent residence wherever it is we move (we’re looking at Beaverton or Keizer here in Oregon).  Husband says he can get a job in any restaurant that’s hiring, and is willing to work as a server/waiter while looking for something better.  Our two friends are moving to Keizer and will likely be able to help us find housing and Husband a well-paying restaurant job.  We’ll likely put a lot of our things in storage and rent a smaller place if we can’t find a place of similar size to what we’re living in now (a double wide, 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, trailer/manufactured home).  Husband says he’s fine with a one or two bedroom, and I’d get the largest room/space for my sewing and home-activity stuff because I’m home 90% of the time and need the space.

Do I think we’ll be able to raise the money?  I’m not even gonna bother getting my hopes up.  It’d likely take months, even up to the month where we wouldn’t even have to break our contract.  Moving between late November to the end of March is dangerous because we’re traveling through high elevation and mountains.  They get LOTS of snow, including snowstorms and blizzards, during the winter months.  We don’t want to risk getting stuck or dying.

Our final car payment in February, at which point we’ll be able to save $300/month.  We have two credit cards to pay off ($1200 and $6100), $200/month between the two of them.  Plus there’s Husband’s student loans ($30k) and we’re on a payment plan of $60/month.  The money for the move won’t be applied to these bills unless absolutely necessary.

My SSDI (social security disability income) is $740/month, which covers most of our monthly bills, but not nearly enough to be livable or help out with the move save for paying said bills.

Would any of you be willing to make a donation to my GoFundMe?  I have 1049 followers, so just $10 from you would cover half the cost.  I know most, if not all, of you won’t be able to make a donation, which is perfectly fine. 

All funds selling my quilts will be applied to the credit cards.  The stained glass quilt would cover one of the credit cards straight away.  If all the others sold before the move, that’d make a huge punch in the other credit card bill balance.

We won’t be pulling out a loan for the move.  That’s another monstrous bill with a HUGE interest rate (I’ve seen them as high as 50% interest within 3 months of getting the loan, and that’s through a bank.  Personal loans are a very bad idea.). 

I’ll be going over the details of the GoFundMe with Husband later. 

Let me know if you’d be willing to help. 

[jess-abides]

FMLS90 Catch-Up: Week 2

10/14 -  Tell us about your planning process. Are you a planner or do you prefer to “roll with it” as things come at you? How do you deal with life’s unexpected challenges?

I love to plan and tend to get anxious when I don’t have a plan (enneagram 6 what’s up). But I also tend to abandon my plan when something with more instant gratification comes up (enneagram wing 7 what’s up). I go through phases where I am very scheduled and regimented and that works for me, and others where I sort of fly by the seat of my pants. These times are more stressful for me and my base level of anxiety is higher. I’ve been in a more “roll with it” phase for the last several months, but I can feel the tides turning back toward planning and I am grateful. I’d love to learn to take more control over these competing tendencies of mine, rather than letting them control me. 

10/15 -  What is one of your goals that you know in your heart, is going to be tough? What can you do today to make meeting that goal just a little easier?

One of my big goals outside of losing weight (which, obviously, is and has been tough for me) is paying off my debts (credit cards, car loan, student loans). I make enough money to get by, but I often feel like I don’t make enough to get ahead. I live in an extremely high COL area and make a very average salary (for the US, not the Bay Area), which makes me feel like I’m just treading water most of the time. So I tend to get into the mindset that the scope of my debt is so big that the money I would save by not ordering sushi is sort of irrelevant, you know? But I have gone through seasons where I am much more intentional about my spending and I know I really can make progress if I put my mind to it. So today, I will update my DailyBudget app with my current income and expenses, so I can get back to using that daily!

10/16 - Tell us about your experiences meal planning and or pre / freezer cooking.

I used to meal prep every Sunday and loved it. Then I started working a job that required me to work Sundays, and it really threw me off. I left that job this summer (🙌🏻) and am now trying to get back into the habit of using my Sundays for meal planning and prepping.

10/17 -  Do you have a budget? How do you plan for and deal with unexpected expenses?

Currently, no. I try to keep a small chunk of money in my savings account to pay for car repairs or unexpected whatevers. But it’s definitely not enough and I am tired of the cycle I’m in now of depleting that fund and having to replenish it before making it bigger and/or paying down my debt.

10/18 -  If you had to offer the group one tip about preparing for success, what would it be?

“You are not missing out on nothing when you are getting ya shit together” -Donte Colley (everyone please follow his instagram right now). Just don’t be afraid to turn down plans or bail on things if you’re making yourself a priority and getting shit done.

10/19 -  What is one small step you can take in the next 24 hours to make 2020 better? Some examples - sign up for a race, make an appointment with a mental health professional, forgive someone. Do this and report back.

Figure out how to update my income information with Covered California. I’ve been underpaying on my health insurance, because I am making more money than I was when I first signed up and got my subsidized price, but it really fucked me over on my taxes this year and I spent more than half the year paying off my tax bill (also because my withholdings were wrong). I know I will owe money again this year, but I am going to spend the next several months saving up so it doesn’t hit me as hard. But updating my information now will make my life less stressful moving forward, because I’ll be paying the right amount and won’t be dreading getting fucked on my taxes again like I have been all of this year.

10/20 -  That goal you mentioned on 10/15. Have you taken action on it? Tell us about it. If you haven’t - do it. Now :)

I’m gonna do it tonight, I swear!

[nicosroom]

My Money Snapshot

[Inspired by Corporette]

Location: Ohio, small college town

Age: 29

Occupation: PhD candidate (English)/half-time instructor

Income: $16,000 before deductions

Net worth: $588 (I’m crying)

Current Debt: $12,844

Living situation: Renting with a roommate

Money Philosophy:

I grew up in the “working poor” category. My parents are divorced and my father never contributed much financially. Mom made around $21,000 per year at work and she cleaned houses “under the table” to supplement that. Somehow, we never went hungry, what we ate was relatively fresh and healthy, and she managed to put two of us through Catholic schools for a total of 14 years. I know now that mom is still paying some of those loans and credit card debts and that part of her strategy included not contributing more than the 3% that her employer matched in her 401k. Every time I complain about the financial stress I feel at my salary level, I have to remind myself how comparatively unstressful my financial life is.

I’ve always been poor and I always knew that graduate school/academia is not a lucrative career. I tell myself that if I can make things work at this pay grade, then I’m ready for just about anything. My main strategy is to have a budget, stay in the budget, and save every bit that I can.

Monthly budget

$1000-1100 for the necessities each month. Monthly spending on eating out, entertainment, shopping and other categories varies widely. I also won’t lie... dating someone who makes 4x more money than me helps... I’m fairly frugal on all of these fronts: I buy most of my clothes second hand and I tend to shop seasonally. Spikes in spending occur around the winter holidays when I’m buying gifts and when I am doing traveling. And I also have totally weak, impulsive moments - like the $3 soap sales at Bath & Body works, or that time I spent $110 on bras and underwear on a whim. Anyway:

Rent: $272.50/month

Other living expenses: $130-170/month (electric, internet, phone, renter’s insurance - lower in summer, higher in winter)

Transportation: $332/month (gas, insurance, car payment)

Healthcare: $162/month (health+dental insurance, no vision coverage)

Groceries: $120-150/month ($30/week)

Debt Picture

Student loan: $2000

Car loan: $10,488

I’m a career student & my motto for all the years I’ve been in school has been “follow the money.” I went to college on very hefty scholarships and I only had to take out the $2000 loan to cover housing costs during my first year. For the subsequent three years, I was an RA, so I never had to take loans again. I applied to graduate programs based on the research fit, and when I got my offers, money weighed heavily in the decision. I would have loved to live in Boston as a wee 22-year old, but I wasn’t about to take out loans for a year’s worth of tuition and the living expenses. And to get a PhD while living in Minneapolis, my very favorite city in the US? It would have been such a dream, but for the quite steep difference in stipends and the significant disparity in cost of living compared with Ohio. My only regret on this front is that I haven’t started paying back my tiny student loan. I’ve been able to defer it since I’m in graduate school, which was a great idea when I was a master’s student who didn’t know the first thing about budgeting. But if I had just paid $25/month from the start of grad school the balance would be $0 about the same time I graduate from this PhD program this August. Instead, I’ll be scrambling to pay off the whole balance before my 6 month grace period ends. 

The car loan is less than a year old. I finally broke down and bought a new (by which I mean used) car last summer after really pushing it with the car my parents had bought me in high school. Repairing that car put me into credit card debt more than once and I was getting so stressed about it. It was time. I have a very good credit score, so I qualified for a nice loan rate with my credit union, and to get a better rate I got my mom to co-sign my loan. It’s a popular rental fleet model so there were tons of them on the market, but average miles were high - so when I saw one that was two years old with only a years worth of miles on it at $1000 less than the average price for that make, model, and year, I jumped on it. My payments are $231/month on the 5-year plan. Currently, I’m paying that minimum, but I plan to escalate my payments as my income goes up (I’m on the academic job market now, pray for me). I folded this car payment into my existing budget by giving up solo-living and finding a roommate. When I had my own apartment, very spacious with a huge kitchen and tons of windows/natural light, I was paying about $585 for monthly rent. I hate living with people, but I hated the idea of being trapped in this college town without a car even more - one of my other mantras is “you can do anything for a year.” 

A note on credit cards: I love them. I’m one of those responsible people that charges everything and pays the balance like clockwork every month. This is the only way to make sure you’re actually taking advantage of the cash back/reward perks! Currently, I’m using Capital One’s Venture card and stockpiling airline miles for travel (it has a 40,000 mile sign-on bonus). If you’re good for it, I also recommend one card with a great balance transfer program. For me, when I get into an emergency situation, it makes me feel like I have options. It’s been about 4 years since I’ve had to use my balance transfer card to cover costs ($1400 in car repairs, summer 2015), but at my level, I can’t afford to not have back up plans. 

Savings and Investments

$5,517 Cash

$7,861 Roth IRA + employer mandated retirement account

Retirement: The biggest financial mistake I've made in grad school is that I did not opt into the retirement account offered by the university when I started my M.A. in 2012. When they ask me that “what I wish I had known before I went to grad school” question, this is near the top of the list. I did, eventually, open a Roth IRA and slowly I started to build something. This year, when my graduate funding dried up and they made me a “half-time instructor” the retirement account for public school teachers was mandatory and the contributions are high: 14% of every pay check (annoying, yes, but on the flipside, there is an equally high employer match). While I’m contributing to this, I’ve paused my contributions to the IRA. I’ll roll this money over, either into the IRA or into another state/employer retirement fund when I move on from here. 

Personal savings: I strive for a minimum of $100 per month and frequently do a little more, but each month is different and I consider it a win if I break even. Through most of grad school, I’ve taken on “second jobs” to bolster what I can save (and boost my resume). Both jobs have been through the university, so they limit me to five hours a week. When I max them out, this can be an extra $200-250 each month. 

I took up a new savings challenge this academic year to build on my “play money” savings account (a high yield savings account which my bank labels a “goal setter” account). The challenge involves tallying the “total savings” printed on my receipts each month (i.e. when the grocery store is like “you saved $6″ because of sales and coupons). So, At the end of the month, I put that running total into my goal setter account. Sometimes the total savings are like $26, but others its as much as $171. It’s an interesting challenge because it encourages me to do tedious things, like scroll through all the digital coupons on the grocery store app; but at the same time, I know that the higher that number is usually coincides with a lot of shopping which encourages some self-regulation. 

I initially set my goal at $2500 when I opened the goal setter account in 2014. When I had to dip into the account in April 2018 to pay $930 in car repairs, I finally set plans in motion to buy my car. Since I bought used, I only put 10% down on the car (just over $1200). When I sold my old car for $1000, I put that money right back into the account to start saving for new things...

What I’m saving for now:

travel: to celebrate finally finishing this PhD, I’m hoping to pull off a trip to Europe. Later this year, I’m also turning 30 around the same time that one of my regular professional conferences is meeting in Hawaii. If I can do one or both in the next year, that’d be grand. (As I mentioned, I'm saving up airline miles with my credit card program, too!)

a multicooker: think InstantPot...but more expensive because my dreams all revolve around small appliances that match my stand mixer. 

What I do to be frugal... 

I’ve been frugal my whole life, but a couple of major habits I’ve formed include:

Meal planning and home cooking (read my guide to meal prep here). The money part of that means planning what I eat around maximizing the ingredients I have to buy. I plan meals that use the same ingredients so I’m not spending on an entire bunch of celery and then throwing out 75% of it. Routinization also helps, so my grocery lists stay about the same week to week and the bill relatively predictable - for example, I eat avocado egg salad almost every day for lunch. I know, avocados are not cheap, but I also believe in spending on the things that nourish you––literally and “spiritually.” Roxane Gay once said that she never bought avocados or blueberries when she was a “poor grad student.” Once she started making money, she realized she would buy them because she could afford them, but she also threw them out all the time because she didn’t plan her meals right to actually eat them. The point is, buy the foods that you like/feel good about and build habits around them. It’s not wasted money. That said, I won’t pay more than $1.25 for an avocado!

Second hand clothes shopping, especially for my business casual (it’s amazing what people donate to the Goodwill, barely worn!)

[go-diane-winchester]

Misha Collins cant keep track of his own lies.

Misha ''I was a homeless kid' Collins was interviewed by an art magazine, because apparently he is very artsy fartsy.  Whilst given the opportunity to speak about his supposedly favoritist subject: himself, Misha couldn't  remember all the fallacies he had spouted over the years.  I guess Misha figured his mostly underage, deranged fanbase might be too busy, furiously fingering themselves to badly written fanfiction, to actually read something from an intellectual source.  Something tells me that, just like in the mugging case, this reporter wasn't quite buying his lies.  Here are some of the highlights, with Misha's self-indulgent rambling in italics, and with my running commentary in bold [the interviewer is in bold italics]:

''Like most kids, I liked making things with my hands, and my mother helped facilitate this when I was pretty young. But I followed that impulse to an apprentice-level devotion. I would seek out woodworkers when I was 10 or 11, going into shops and learning how to use a lathe or – just asking. I grew up in western Massachusetts, and by the time I got into high school I was fully into this – just talking to people and learning things from them in person.''

So his hippy, drug addict mom who stashed pot down her youngest child's underwear for fear of being arrested, and who, for a short time, raised poor Misha in a car, honed his artistic skills when he was pretty young?  When?  When they were living in the woods?  And using a bowl of ice as a refrigerator?  So either his story of his childhood is greatly exaggerated or....yeah, that's all I got.  How gullible does he think people are?

Then in high school, I needed a job, so I started doing some manual labor.

So whilst at his elite private school, where there are rich dads and moms dropping off their darlings every morning, Misha chooses manual labor.  He likes to talk to people but he didn't speak to Mr and Mrs Moneybags?  He could have been a petty gopher in one of their companies and fared better.  After all, he needed a job.  I wonder why he chose ''manual labor''?  And why he chose to word it like that, instead of saying ''I became a carpenter's apprentice''.  I guess it sounds honorable.  That's is nothing dramatic about  saying that you flip burgers at McDs.  Saying that you work in a menial, underpaid job for a multimillion dollar company, does have a more dramatic feel to it. 

I built that barn on my mother’s property. Our house had burned down, so with the insurance proceeds, we built that and...

Wait, wasn't Misha's mom a pothead who lived in a car for some time with her two children?  Now, not only does she have property but she has the money to pay for insurance.  When did you live in the car, Misha?  When the house burnt down?  Why didn't you live in that house you showed footage of, on twitter?  Its a nice house, complete with Christmas stockings.  It doesn't quite gel with your underprivileged childhood narrative, but nice nonetheless.   

I worked a lot when I was in college, probably 30 hours a week most of the time. I did some handyman stuff, some carpentry stuff. After sophomore year, I took a year off. I interned at the [Clinton] White House, worked at NPR, became an EMT, started a summer camp for kids. It was a great year.

What is he?  A career whore?  So he was artsy fartsy, but he worked everywhere doing jobs that were unrelated to each other, instead of staying in his field of carpentry, and making money from that.  He got EMT certification.  Was it free?  Did he pay for it with his tuition fees?  What was the purpose of it, if making money for fees was of paramount importance?  That doesn't make sense, because if he was working 30 hour weeks, when did he have time to study?  The average work day is a tad longer, about 40 hours a week.  And if he was studying and working, when was Superman sleeping?  Why was he working so hard?  To put himself to college, don'tcha know.  Even though colleges offer student loans and don't accept their fees in installments.  And yet, he took time off for one year after sophomore.  Was it to make a lot of money for his tuition fees?  Nope, it was to become an EMT and start a summer camp for kids.  I guess summer camps are big business and you can pay off great debts if you start one.  Good to know.  His internment at the Whitehouse only lasted four months, and yet he has acquired all the knowledge there is to acquire, to become a political knowitall on twitter.  Sidenote:  Is it normal for internships at the Whitehouse to last, such a short time.  I am genuinely curious, because it doesn't sound right. 

This is where I think the interviewer started to sound like she was side-eyeing the wood working maestro and his yarns of tall tales.

After graduation you got into acting, and in 1999, you moved with Victoria to Los Angeles for film and television work. There, in 2001, you bought your first house. Tell us about it. You were a starving actor?

Yeah. Right after we bought it, our realtor said, “There’s a TV show that would like to shoot your house.” They brought this [house-hunting] couple through, and when we saw the episode, they had surveyed the house and were like, “We don’t want to touch this piece of s---.” It was a real wreck, had been seriously neglected. It was built in the 1920s, and built by people who weren’t carpenters, didn’t know what they were doing. It was built so poorly, and everything was sagging – the window frames, the eaves.

Can you believe that?  The starving actor bought a house.  Let that sink in.  He recognized that the house was built by non-carpenters [how was this building standing.  Twas a miracle, I tell you.]  And despite being a starving actor with a small amount of money, and a knowledge of carpentry, he bought a house that was badly built by non-carpenters.  So he knew he was buying a liability.  Why?

The kitchen floor you put in is beautiful. Yes, that’s gunstock, from a gun manufacturer in Northern California.

Mr Gun Free supporting the Gun manufacturing industry.  Man, this guy is a hypocrite. 

You lived in that first house for 11 years. Do you still own it? We rent it out to some lovely people who love it, so it’s good.

Fun fact:  Mr Humble Pie has two pieces of property.  And he is making money off of one, but he chooses to attend cons with the same torn T-shirts from years ago, or has to fleece off of Jensen's wardrobe and generosity, otherwise he would be doing his panels naked, poor thing.  Why doesn't he stop his cruises for a year, and use that money to buy decent threads?  One shirt can last a few years.  The lies are  embarrassing, but miraculously his minions believe him. 

On the way to this house, you became very successful with this hugely popular TV series. Life changed. Do you still manage to make time for handwork? 

Yeah. I’ve discovered that I really like working. Work can be respite for me, and switching gears is really key. Going from working on scripts to working with my hands is therapeutic, for sure. I am still managing to work with my hands. I was just doing some woodworking yesterday. I do a lot of cooking. That’s a big part of my life, and also I think a barometer of emotional health. When I’m not cooking, it’s a sign that I’m too stressed out and I’ve got to dial things back a little bit. I do a lot of canning. I put up 120 jars of blackberry jam this fall.

What an irony!  One of the greatest instigators of stress for his co-workers and their fans, gets stressed out himself.  Yeah, guilt can do that.  Plus, he likes quantifying accomplishments.  That is why Gish exists.  Quantity over quality. 

Which artists inspire you? I love Christo and Jeanne Claude, because of the mind-bending scale on which they’ve created things, like they’re rethinking what’s possible. I’m somebody who kind of likes to break rules, to bend rules when appropriate.

I could write a whole big post, on Misha's rule breaking and bending.  From stealing Whitehouse property [and bragging about it] to telling fans about the scratched line in the Crypt which got Jensen a barrage of abuse on Twitter.  The one thing that he spoke about that doesn't make sense is his story about almost getting arrested for reading a book on a building rooftop.  It makes no sense.  There is a portion of the story that is missing, I'm sure.  Misha is a great exaggerator.

Have you turned any Supernatural castmates on to craft? On a set, there’s tons of downtime, a lot of sitting and knitting and crocheting. And I have occasionally been in the mix there. Last year Jensen [Ackles], my co-star, walked up and saw me knitting, and he just looked at me and said, “Really?” But I could tell there was jealousy behind it, more than criticism. So I’ll teach him to knit, and it’ll be fine. We’ll get through this.

Will you look at that?  There are around 70 people on set at any given time.  Many of them must have seen Misha knitting.  And look who Misha decided to mention.  Was that a ''just in case, a nutty heller is reading this'' insertion?  No mention is made of Jared, because who cares about him, right?  Got to give the crowd what they want.  I am side eyeing the knitting claim myself, because I do knit and having seen a photo of him knitting, I can safely say that, that is not how you grasp at the yarn.  You knit with loose fingers because yarn is abrasive. 

The first big project we did with Random Acts was we built an orphanage and community center in Haiti. I would not have thought that was a tackle-able enterprise if I didn’t have a background in building.  Our biggest fundraising driver for the projects that we do – like building a school or an orphanage – is we bring folks down in groups of 25 or so to Haiti or to Nicaragua, and they help in the building process. We roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty.

Wow, he built the 500K orphanage with his own hands, but didn't think about lights for the children.  His response regarding the lights was ''it's Haiti and it takes three f*cking years to get an electrician''.  Wow, I am a third worlder too, but we have electricians.  How backwards is Haiti that he couldn't find a single electrician in the whole country, to light the place up for the poor orphans?  He couldn't squeeze in one electrician in the group of 25 or so.  Are there no philanthropic electricians in his circles?  My word, electricians are such selfish people, don't you think?  They don't want to roll up their sleeves and get their hands dirty.  Why couldn't he just pay for one instead of waiting three years?  Fun fact:  According to their website, the orphanage, aka, the Jacmel children's center houses only 15 children, but another page says there are 27 children living in the house.  They don't know how many children they are looking after.  But that is still a small amount.  So where did all these kids go?

Misha either staged this picture with school kids on an excursion or all those kids got adopted by the staggeringly high quantity of rich couples living in Haiti, right Misha?  SMH

This question made me smirk.  The interviewer had to know Misha has never been to public school.  Look how Mr Bleeding Heart answers the question.

As we know, art programs in K-12 public schools these days are in decline, especially shop class, manual arts. How can we nurture creativity in kids, and why is that important? When I was 9 years old, I had a paper route. One day my younger brother and I were collecting money, and Mr. Haigis answered the door. He started talking to us, and he discovered that our parents were separated, and we didn’t live with our father. In the 1960s, he had run a woodshop for little kids. He had stopped doing it because he got busy with his career. Now he was retired. These two boys show up delivering papers on his front stoop, and it just comes to him: “I’ve got to do the same thing for those kids.”

So Mr Haigis left all the poor, underprivileged children and decided to help these two boys who were going to an elite school?  Sounds legit.  What about public school children, Mr Haigis?  Don't you care about them?   

I was a starving actor for at least a decade.

Misha was a starving actor who worked on 24 projects before getting SPN, but he still managed to buy a house.  Fun fact:  he was an  associate producer on a docu-movie, ''Loot'' which won best documentary at the LA film festival.  His movie didn't need sock puppets to win this one.  Misha should produce more.  That way he wont be on screen, festering up the frame.  The less we see of him, the better. 

http://www.jacmelchildren.org/about/team/

http://www.jacmelchildren.org/

https://craftcouncil.org/magazine/article/builder-baker-angel-maker

[living-and-awaken]

Where I am at/rant/personal thoughts.

The fact I am working all these hours and donating plasma to make ends meet and still fall behind is crazy to me. Granted I am paying a loan that wasn't done by me that has crazy high interest, paying tuition and school stuff, all my own bills like car insurance, rent, and a bunch others but lik... I am working every hour I can get and right no I can't hit OT and stuff like I want but I just can't catch up. I have a prescription sitting there that is over 100 that I can't get so my depression, insomnia, and anxiety are really killing me right now. I'm trying really hard. I am. I hope people realize that. Ive been so close to becoming homeless multiple times. My family and I don't speak and are in horrible terms. I am completely all on my own. Moving from place to place in the past year is taking a toll but I simply can't afford it and keep trying to go cheaper and cheaper. Now I am at a city I hardly know with zero friends, outside of online friends, a roommate that is pretty cool and laid back but we aren't really friends. He needed a roommate to make ends meet and same here but ultimately we aren't close friends or nothing. We get along fine and live together just fine. He and I just don't really have too much in common but we are good roommates at least. But I am trying. I keep hitting walls and ready to give up a lot but without the help of some people I wouldn't have made it and I would be homeless and so lost. I'm lucky to have the friends that I do and have met on here or else I would be living in a shelter probably, or worse. Like... The sad thing is i haven't been able to save money even with help but it all has gone to things that I need like school, paying off the stupid loan my mom did in my name, and so one. I'm so tired of needing help. I really.am.and I am working too which it's crazy to me how I can keep up. I really need my meds but I can't even think about getting them till I finish off tuition and that stupid loan (which I am close thank goodness). I just need like.. a 200 bonus and I can get everything squared away and work on getting meds lol. I won't be able to get my meds for another month the way things are looking with bills and payments too. I just... I need a break. Without the help if others I truly would be so loss. I would be lying if I said I don't have tears in my eyes right now. I'm just so stressed but also so thankful for the people in my life. I wish they could see how hard I really am trying and how much they also mean to me. I stay busy. Every day I am working or trying to find ways to do surveys to help with money so I don't have to ask for.helo so much but it just seems like it's impossible. I feel lik choosing to go back to school was a mistake because it has put me so far behind, which I have almost caught up on because of help, and I just hated that I needed so much help, with working, but I am still just a little bit behind. I'm not sure the point of this post. Partially to thank everyone. Partially to rant. Partially to let anyone who cares know where I am at.

I also want to apologize for being such a... Failure? Idk. I guess not a failure. I feel like that isn't the right word. I'm just so sorry I haven't exceeded expectations that some of you.might have had for me. I am sorry. I really hope I can get this apprenticeship and career started. When I do I swear I am paying people back and paying things forward. Please just don't give up on me. I feel as though everyone has a right to give up on me. Those that haven't already. I love you all, though. And I do not, for one second, blame anyone that hasn't stuck around. Thank you for being here when I needed it most. Thank you everyone and I am sorry I may have not hit any expectations and still need help here and there. Looking at financials, I should be okay and can at least make ends meet after I pay off school and the loan and start getting on my.meds again. I really need my medication and being without it has really put my depression in overdrive. I'm honestly very sad. I'm constantly sad. And I miss being happy. I miss helping others like I want to. I just need to get out of this somehow. This stupid rut. Thanks for listening.

[bookwormbambi]

Mega Update!

05/05/2019

Hello my friends! Sunday is here and that means that it is time for some big updates and I’m so excited that I’m practically jumping out of my chair (although all of the coffee may have contributed to that one).

So on the list of more recent things I just celebrated my 22nd birthday on Monday and I am so so grateful for all of the love and kindness that had been sent my way and I just really love everyone :-)

I’m also now about four months into my new job in restaurant management and it’s a bit crazy still but we do feel a lot more settled in and I feel a lot more knowledgable about my job. My schedule has been fairly hectic but I told them when they hired me that I would be going back to school in June which they are fully prepared for. Everyone’s been great, and I’ve been very grateful for the new experience and the learning experience that comes with first time management. I still have so much to learn but honestly I feel right at home with all of the work I do with people, and I feel like the skills I’m learning are great stepping stones when it comes to patient care, because the main thing I’m learning is how to work with people, to be more empathetic, and to motivate. Obviously restaurant life is a bit different than medicine, but it is a good stepping stone, at least in my opinion.

So that’s a little bit about my personal life, but I know that what y’all are really here for is the school updates. I’ve been teasing this new school program for months now and I’ve been waiting for so long to give you all some real updates. For a long time I was just waiting, and the plan was to make a sort of mini-series about the process of applying and (hopefully) getting in, but then everything went down in the course of a few days and I’m actually already at the end of the application process when I literally just turned the app in five days ago.

So, let’s talk about it.

If I haven’t already stated it, the program that I’m applying for is Respiratory Therapy. It’s a two-year program that ends with my receiving an Associate’s Degree in Science, as well as eligibility for board certification to become a licensed Respiratory Therapist and be in the field by the time I turn 24.

I first learned about this program about a year ago through a friend. Her boyfriend at the time was actually in the previous class and it actually came up in passing just from her telling me about how busy he was all the time. I was looking into other programs one day and saw RT pop up and I remembered her mentioning it, and I decided to look into it a bit more because, honestly, I had no idea what RT really even was, or what they did. The more I researched, the more intrigued and excited I got, and the more I could picture myself actually doing this sort of thing.

At the time the course was already in session, and the website said that the next application window would not be open until February 2019, so I waited. When February came along I checked the website every day waiting for the app to be posted and it actually wasn’t up until the 1st of March. I checked the website on a whim because I was in bed with the flu and bored and miserable and needed ANYTHING to get my mind off of how sick I was (and brother I was SICK). I printed out the application and filled it out without really reading the information packet because I was sick and reading was for losers who were healthy I guess. So I sat on the application for a little while because I knew that, at the very least, there was a $100 application fee which was not readily available to me because I had just started my new job, the restaurant had only just opened, and I was still doing a lot of transitioning with bills and insurance and all of that boring stuff.

When I finally mended I was ready to go to the school to turn the application in, and went through the information packet to figure out who I was actually turning it in to, when I found out I actually needed copies of my high school and college transcripts, and I had no idea how to get them. So I sat on the app for a few more weeks while I figured it out, ordered them, waited for them to get to me, etc. Then I got my transcripts and once again did not have an extra $100 lying around to go turn the app in. Or, when I did, I didn’t have the time to go to the school because my work schedule kept getting in the way.

So on my birthday (Monday) I asked my sister to take me to the school before we went on our outing so I could turn it in, because the application was due by 2 May (which was Thursday) and I was officially running out of time. So we decided we could be a little late to our lunch plans to turn it in.

The application alone is just the first part of everything. Once you turn it in, you have to take the TABE test (which is the Test of Adult Basic Education), along with five additional comprehensive math questions, and then you receive a date and time for your interview with the head of the department, some program alumni, and representatives from the hospital. My assumption was that once I turned in the application I would get an email telling me when the test was and that it would be like two or three weeks away, and that we’d go from there.

NOPE.

I went to the registration office, paid my application fee, then went to the counseling office to deliver the application, my receipt, and my transcripts. For starters, she was very pleased that I already had the fee and the transcripts taken care of. Then she told me the test was on Thursday (three days away) at 3pm.

So here I am, panicking a little bit because of how fast everything was moving, and I told her that I would be there, no problem, thanked her for her time, and went on my way back to our car. I had no idea what to expect from this test and having only literal days to prepare was not helping the anxiety.

So Thursday came along, I was able to get out of work a little bit early to have extra time to get to the school (which is only a little ways down the road) and get to the test. There was an optional information meeting beforehand which I was only able to make the last twenty minutes or so of, but I got the gist of everything, and it only made me more excited about the program. I met the head of the program, he seemed very kind. Then it was test time.

So the TABE is a 1 hour exam that tests basic reading, math, and grammar skills. Kind of like the standardized testing I had to take when I was in school. I took a semester off so I was a little rusty with quick test taking (each portion was roughly thirty questions with roughly fifteen minutes each) but I got through it, and I’m actually pretty sure I nailed it. The additional comprehensive math questions were a little bit tougher, but I feel pretty good about those too. These were five questions crafted by the department head which, according to him, were designed more to test out problem-solving abilities, and even if the answer itself wasn’t right, you’d still get points for how you got to your conclusion. Really only the last problem threw me, and I was feeling a bit rushed, but I got through it.

So I finished up, handed in my exam, and was given a slip of paper with my interview date and time - Tuesday at 2pm. Tuesday is, as I write this, the day after tomorrow. I’m stressing about the interview but he did tell us that the majority of the questions have nothing to do with Respiratory Therapy, but I will be asked about how well I understand what the program is, and, obviously, why I want to do this. I’ll also be asked basic things about who I am as a person to see if I would be a good fit. After that, I wait for the email telling me if I have been accepted, or if I am an alternate. If I’m accepted, I pay the tuition fee (which is not cheap and will require a loan), and classes start on 10 June.

So, what determines acceptance? Every year the program accepts a maximum of thirty students. The application process is all point-based. The thirty students with the most points will be accepted. Everyone else will be placed as an alternate, meaning that if someone who is accepted withdraws for whatever reason, an alternate can take their place, and will be asked in the order of their rank. 

So now I’m going to spend the next two days prepping for this interview, which is going to be my very first interview that has anything to do with my career. Medicine has been my passion for as long as I can remember, and Respiratory Therapy feels like my true calling. I’m nervous, but I’m so excited. xx

[theculturedmarxist]

Hi there, fellow leftypol dirtbag. Might I ask, what was your journey into leftism?

I grew up in a conservative household. My parents were (and still are I suppose) two Reaganite Republicans and I absorbed all that shit as a child. I supported George Bush 2 and Iraq War 2. I believed all that bullshit about hard work and boot straps, you know, the old fantasy about employers rewarding hard work with commensurate compensation, etc. I wasn’t very sympathetic for black people, the poor, queers, or any of the other people on the Rep’s shit list.

That began to change when I changed high schools. Instead of the upper-middle class, mostly White school I had been going to (and been miserable at), I transferred to an early college. It was a school for kids that, like me, didn’t fit into the regular school system for one reason or another. There were kids there like me who had various social or emotional dysfunctions, but also kids that were there because of who and where they were. It might shock you to find that queer kids and black kids didn’t have the easiest of times in the public school system of the Southern United States.

It was a slow transition, but my views changed. At first I had those idiotic, bigoted views, like that gay guys were a threat to me physically or sexually on account of their orientation. I thought it was morally wrong, blah blah blah, all that ridiculous rigamarole. Then I met some of these people and learned how foolish that kind of thinking was. These people were intelligent and kind, inventive, interesting, and not at all the kind of people that I felt I needed to be worried about. It wasn’t an immediate transformation, but it was the first step in my “deprogramming.”

Looking back, I’m not even sure I would describe my feelings towards these people as “hate” or “fear” so much as “resentment.” I was still trapped in the false mindset of the “just world” fallacy. I was miserable with myself and my place in life, and deluded into thinking that if there was a problem then it was either inherent in myself or because I wasn’t behaving in the right way. At the time I had at least some idea of the oppression and persecution homosexuals and Blacks (for example) experienced. I was starving myself with self restraint, and spiritually mutilating myself in trying to “fix” what I thought was wrong with me. If I was unhappy or unsuccessful or whatever, then it must have been my fault, and if that was the case then it was on me to change myself, “correct” my behavior, and get right with God (literally and in a manner of speaking). Applying that same logic, the problems Blacks and Gays were experiencing were their fault as well, for insisting on being Gay, “out and proud,” or “actin’ Black,” or whatever, instead of how they “should” have been acting. It felt like an insult. Here I was, drowning in my own suffering and misery, and trying like hell to purge whatever defect I imagined was the source. There they were, embracing what I imagined to be the source of their own oppression, and treating the world like it was what needed to change. At the time, there was no way I could comprehend all of this. Even if I could have understood it intellectually, I doubt I would have been able to see it through my ideological delusions.

My ideological development after high school was halting at best. I wasn’t in any shape to live and function on my own, and my first stab at university didn’t go very well. Eventually, I moved back home and got a job, which is what had the most significant effect on me I think. All the nonsense I’d been fed about the fairness of competition and workplace ideals quickly went out the fucking window. I had worked some while I was at university, when I naively thought that student employment at a school would emphasize the student over the employment part. Through the alchemy of Republican logic, it wasn’t the work or employer that was to blame, but the fact that the school effectively had a monopoly. If the Free Market™ was able to decide, no doubt I’d have had a fairer boss and better pay and so on.

But that job wasn’t an anomaly, and neither was the next one, or the next. I had been brought up being taught that hard, honest work would be rewarded with good, honest pay, but no matter how hard I worked or where, it was always the same shit: minimum wage, %2 pay raise, shitty schedules, worse managers, awful bosses, and customers that were just the worst. You didn’t matter. It didn’t matter how you were being treated or mistreated, the customer was your master and you better remember to smile while you’re licking their balls.

Still, even with all of this, I bought the lie that it was just the type of work that was the problem. Retail work is for kids, right? They aren’t serious jobs. I saved up some money while taking CC classes, and eventually went back to university. The second time things went better. Somewhere along the way I’d graduated from Republican to Libertarian™, but that was starting to lose its appeal as well as it became apparent that it was functioning on the same defective logic as its Republican counterpart. I didn’t have any faith in Obama or the Democrats, and being an ignorant American I thought the three were my only options.

My family was what would be described in American terms as “mid-to-lower-middle class,” or you could probably say “comfortable.” Both parents worked, and while we were never “rich” I don’t recall ever having to go without anything essential. My parents were both Baby Boomers, and their parents all more or less came from nothing. To their credit, my parents worked hard to provide the things for me which they didn’t have as children themselves. They did everything they could to help me succeed, but they could still only help.

Paying for school was something that fell mostly on me in the form of loans and grants. Classes were going well for the most part, but my expenses were outstripping my aid. I got a job, but it didn’t help matters much. The pay was lousy, and the hours were from six at night until two in the morning. It started killing my grades and ruining my health. The stress of school and work and financial concerns started to get to me physically.

All while this is going on is the backdrop of the financial crisis. The banks that were responsible got billions of dollars of taxpayer money, while those same taxpayers were getting foreclosed on by those same banks. State services were getting slashed to the bone left, right, and center. There was suddenly no money for unemployment insurance or health benefits for those that needed them, no money for teacher training, or grants for students. There was apparently virtually unlimited cash for the military and the two wars in Iraq and Afghanistan that dragged on and on. There was plenty to go around to these wealthy executives that created this financial crisis that lost regular people hundreds of millions of dollars in their life savings and retirement plans. This paralleled the situation at my school. The university was flush with cash. Tuition was higher than ever. They had just finished a multi-million dollar building that served no purpose other than to serve as a fancy amenity to lure in out of state students. They’d even invested millions of dollars into their football program and completely renovated the athletic stadium. The chancellor lived in a mansion on campus and drove a convertible sports car. They weren’t hurting for money.

I was, though. I came to the conclusion that I’d have to take classes in the morning and work in the afternoon, and so I went about withdrawing to make space in my schedule for it. Come to find however that you’re only allowed to drop three courses in your educational career, which no one had bothered to tell me. I was able to drop one class, but I had ignorantly spent my other two mulligans the previous semester. No problem, the Registrar tells me, just get your professor, chair, and dean to sign off and you can drop the class. Okay, swell. Professor signs off, department chair signs off, and then it takes a week for the dean to get back to me. Financial hardship isn’t a compelling reason to drop the class. Sorry! I try to explain to her my situation, that if I can’t start making money then I’ll be out on the street, and she tells me to go pound sand. I’d busted my ass working to “get my life back on track,” to go back to school, get an education and all that, like I was “supposed to.” The school didn’t give a shit. I was nothing to them. They had no interest in helping me out or seeing me stay. And why would they? Sixty percent of incoming Freshmen left after their first year, and that was their target demographic. Entice out-of-state students, get them to dump a bunch of money into the school, then kick them to the curb when they can’t for one reason or another hack it. There’s more and more desperate kids every year trying to get that diploma and the golden ticket it promises them. If they don’t like being farmed for revenue, then fuck ‘em.

It was around this time that I got involved with Occupy Wall Street. It was there that I met for the first time actual Communists, and was introduced however superficially to Marxism and Anarchism. It wouldn’t be until afterward that I would get my real education on them, though. I guess I kind of conform to the cliche of becoming a college Communist. A professor of mine knew about my difficulties and my developing political views, and asked if I’d be interested in borrowing his copy of the Manifesto. I did, not knowing what to expect. Then I read the words that changed my life forever:

“The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggle.”

It struck me like a bolt out of the blue. I’d always been interested in history, but I treated it as just a long, interesting story. It had always puzzled me because there were innumerable instances of illogical or just plain stupid behavior in the people we studied in school. Things just happened the way they happened, because... well, that’s just how things were, or people are. Every war, injustice, and atrocity in history was because of faulty human nature. People struggle because of the inherent evil inside all men. You know, more ideological bullshit.

Suddenly, though, everything made sense. It was like all the pieces had been in place, but it wasn’t until that bit of context was added that it made anything like coherent sense. It wasn’t only history, but modern politics, too. I couldn’t understand what made Republicans do the objectively awful things that they were doing, or why, or the apparent idiocy of the Democrats, and why they couldn’t seem to do anything right however obvious it might have appeared to do so. Marx shined a light on everything for me. It was like the world suddenly shifted into focus.

After this, for various reasons I left school again, ended up moving back home and getting another job. During this time the political awakening I’d experienced lay dormant for quite a while as I dealt with other developments in my life. Actually, it was Gamergate that was the impetus to get deeper into Leftism. I was still frequently visiting 4chan at the time and watched as the drama developed. I didn’t like Moot banning the topic of Zoe Quinn etc, and ended up migrating to 8chan, which briefly exhibited a sort of Renaissance of the sort of board culture that had either been dead or dying on 4chan at the time. It didn’t take long for the nazis, racists, and other brands of /pol/cuck shithead to drive off anyone decent though, and every board just became a different flavor of /pol/. Complaining about it naturally elicited a chorus of “go back to /leftypol/.” I didn’t have any interest in /leftypol/ at the time and actually mostly avoided it. Online politics at the best of times is hardly enjoyable, and I wasn’t very interested in any kind of /Xpol/, using my impression of the original as a guide.

I had dabbled somewhat in online Leftism previously, exploring labor-related subs on Reddit, like r/iww, r/socialism, r/communism, etc. My experience with r/soc almost turned me entirely off of Leftism, though. I got banned for calling Hillary Clinton a cunt, which only seemed to confirm that SJW/Demcuck reputation that followed other self described “socialists.” I didn’t want any part of a group that would either defend Hillary, or try and control what I said or how I said it. I’d just about written off Socialism entirely when on a whim I decided to take a look at /leftypol/ just to see what all the fuss was about.

I can’t help but feel kind of silly attributing such a major, life-changing moment to going to an obscure image board on such a skeevy site, but it did. It had the rough-and-tumble atmosphere of 4chan in its day as well as a substantial number of posters that knew what the fuck they were about. For a while I was simply hooked. Every time I f5ed, I learned something new about Socialism and Communism. There were in depth discussions on Communist theory and its various theorists and proponents. Not only where there mainstream anarchists and marxists, but representatives of (or simply people knowledgeable of) different currents, traditions, and theories. Posters busied themselves making reading lists and sharing links to resources and ideas. Back when there was still a solid core of /lit/ refugees and philosophy majors, there were constantly discussions on Zizek and Chomsky, Stirner and Nietzsche, Proudhon and Marx, Lukacs, Baudrillard, Gramsci, Bordiga, and on and on. The notion that “socialist” just meant “hardcore Democrat” was instantly and totally obliterated, and I knew that I was a Socialist and would be until I died.

And here I am, still trying to learn and educate myself, and help others with what I’ve learned, for whatever it’s worth.

[luckystarchild]

Vent Session #672

I’m willing to bet you’re tired of my drama, but alas, I need to vent—and I can’t really do it with my IRL friends, so here I am. Bear with me. Uncomfy finance-and-first-world-problems-related vomit below the cut. Honestly, just skip this vent-sesh, it’s not interesting and I just need to expel some stress.

1. I am suffering from finance-related anxiety (as are we all; ugh, the plight of the Millennial). Now, I have enough money to live on. I can eat, there’s a roof over my head, so in that sense I’m doing fine. IDK. But I’m trying to get this art side-business off the ground and I’m having to pay rent on a studio space and that’s really cutting into my finances. Don’t get me wrong: I love what I do and I want to keep doing it. Renting the studio is my choice, so if I’m really set on renting the studio, I’m also choosing to accept the financial burden that comes with it. Buuuut every month my finances just get RIPPED as all my bills come in at once (to the tune of $2,500 coming out of my bank account over the span of four days at the beginning of each month—apartment rent, studio rent, car insurance, car loan payment, other bills) and I’m walking on tenterhooks until my next paycheck comes in. Because for the two weeks following that huge bill cycle, I’m one car wreck or illness or other unforeseen disaster away from being totally broke, and that’s terrifying. I'm in the middle of this terrifying period right now; it's less than great.

2. Buuuut I can’t really talk about that with the person who matters most to me, Tom, because he lost his job last month and is ACTUALLY totally broke. He’s depressed as hell and not his usual vibrant, hilarious self, so I’m trying to be strong and chipper for his sake, and I am NOT talking to him about my stress regarding my finances. He knows about the $2,500 getting taken out each month because we’re transparent about our finances and I was open with him about it before his layoff, but I’m downplaying the whole thing as he tries to find a job.

3. And he is having very little luck finding a job, which is shocking because he’s GREAT. Has a degree, lots of experience, and a personality I envy. He’s wonderful and deserves something nice but he’s just not getting bites on his resume. It really, really sucks. My parents have been helpful and are trying to work their local connections to get him something, but so far, not much luck. We’re waiting to hear back from a REALLY REALLY GOOD opportunity for him; fingers crossed.

4. Tom and I are going to be moving in together next month, so it’s going to be mostly on me to finance that move unless he gets a job and a paycheck or two before mid-November. Given my already tenuous financial state, that’s... intimidating. And stressful. But on the plus side, his wonderful, beautiful, fantastic mother said she’d help with the rent if he hasn’t found a job by then, and for that we are INFINITELY LUCKY. I am not ignorant as to how lucky I am here. I could NOT afford our place alone and we need that second income, so any help she gives is an enormous gift I’ll be thanking her for with every breath.

5.  Back to the art studio. In theory, selling my artwork each month helps offset the cost of the studio. There’s a monthly show in which all our studios open to the public, hence my choice of this studio instead of just working out of my house; it provides monthly sales opportunities I just wouldn’t have from home. We had a show this past weekend, and we have another show this coming weekend. Unfortunately, I didn’t sell much on Saturday. I sold one piece and that’s it; it basically paid for the small fee we have to pay the landlords to participate in the event, plus it covered the food I brought to give guests, but... that’s all. No offsetting the rent this month. So that’s got me feeling down. I was really hoping to sell some stuff and help my finances. No such luck. Send me all the good vibes that this weekend’s show (which is normally smaller than this past weekend) is somehow better...

6. If I made more money at my dayjob, I would be much less stressed about everything and could more easily finance the studio as I start gaining a client base and build up a body of work. 

7. And that’s it. You’re caught up. A lot of the above is stress of my own making so I don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for me or whatever, but I felt like I needed to vent about it just so I don’t explode around Tom and can continue to support him and not add to his stress.

If you’re still here (can’t imagine anyone is) thanks for listening. I feel better already.

[yilmazmays54-blog]

Nissan WoN't Remember Murano Sign Despite Key CVT Issues

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