#interasks

[intersexfairy]

would a castrato/eunuch be intersex by nowadays standards?

idk i just live here. i dont know enough about the history. and i dont quite like applying modern terms to roles & identities meant to be understood in the social framework of their time + culture.

but as a related thought. if a change in sex characteristics is like... a genuine choice made my someone, i feel that fits more under the trans umbrella. if not, intersex umbrella. or maybe a third more nuanced thing not yet popularized. this is a general POV, nuance exists, and i am just one person and can be wrong.

[only-knives]

i check your blog everyday to see if youre still alive

i really hope for the best for you. you helped me understand that its okay to embrace my bodily differences and have educated me more on intersex issues than any other place. thank you for the change youve made in the world.

awh gosh... <3 this ask means a lot to me... i greatly undervalue my importance in others' lives and i just. thank you. im really glad to have helped you, and everyone else i've helped.

[intersex-char-otd]

Spock from star trek, preferably the original series? :-)

Sorry i only just got to this! Been a busy week! Qued for tmrw :o)

[intersexfairy]

do you think of intersex as a spectrum? like including those who are intersex-adjacent (aka mesosex). I was thinking in making a flag but I can't elaborate much how defining it

Gonna add a big disclaimer that I'm not the coiner of the term mesosex, so I'm only answering this post as I understand the term.

I do see intersex (and sex as a whole) as a spectrum, but it seems like the point of mesosex is that it blurs the line between perisex and intersex. Perisex means near the binary, because no one really 100% fits it. Intersex is about being outside or between it.

So with how sex development and the binary work, there's no clear threshold for intersexuality. Even if someone has an intersex variation, they may fall outside the binary so "minorly" that they don't feel like they fit intersex or perisex experiences... and to that extent, Im not sure if mesosex was meant to cover trans perisex experiences or not, as i unsurely implied in another ask.

So my answer to this ask is... maybe?

[intersexfairy]

Is it just me or is being intersex in trans spaces deeply alienating?? Even trans people who supposedly have similar experiences to me seem to be nothing like me at all.

It is alienating... I do find things in common with other trans people but, there's still an air of separation... I don't talk about being intersex much because I'm nervous it's too personal to share - as if there's something inherently NSFW about my existence. And when I do talk about it, I feel alone, because I'm usually the only (openly/knowingly) intersex person in the room. I also really hate the amount of intersexism in online trans discourse.

Like I have a lot in common with dyadic trans people who've been on T for a while, but that commonality usually just ends up meaning my intersexuality is erased, because people think I'm a dyadic transmasc. It sucks, and transmasculinity is already invisible. I feel double invisible as a transmasc intersex person... especially one who's also transfem. So yeah. I relate, anon.

[intersexfairy]

Is it common for intersex people to feel in between cis and trans? I know technically speaking I'd be considered a trans man, but between my actual experiences and how I feel, I'd place myself more in between trans man and cis man — maybe even both at the same time. Do many intersex people feel this way?

yup, its a thing! i personally feel the same way, or similar. technically trans man, but i also feel like a transfem guy and relate a lot to cis men. i actually feel more comfortable with cis men than cis women, not just because i'm a guy, but because i'm intersex.

i know intersex people who were AFAB but are cis guys, not even trans. you can be whoever and whatever feels best for you.

[intersexfairy]

Hi, I'm just going around some intersex advocacy blogs asking a question. A while ago I got an extremely, um, heated piece of anon hate screaming at me for using the word "intersexphobia" instead of "intersexism". Every single advocacy organisation I've found uses both words interchangeably. Has something changed that the big orgs haven't caught up on, or were they just weird?

They were just being weird. Use whichever.

[intersexfairy]

I read that some intersex variations have autism as part of them. is it more common for intersex people to be autistic than with dyadic people?

dont quote me on this but i think some variations do cause developmental disability and such, so i wouldnt be surprised if intersex people are more likely to be autistic. i could be wrong tho.

[intersexfairy]

Are transmascfem and transfemmasc interchangeable? Or is there a difference between the two?

For example: somebody was transmasc first and then they were transfem? Or: somebody feels more strongly transmasc than transfem (while feeling both)?

Thanks!

They're interchangeable! But some may prefer one over the other based on their own interpretation, for the reasons you said.

Also sometimes I prefer transfemasc, to help prevent one from standing out over the other.

[intersexfairy]

I wanted to thank you for your intersex terminology master post, it was very helpful for me as someone who is only starting to do their research on the topic :o) I do have one question in regards to the term perisex: is it a term that only intersex people are allowed to use when describing people, or can I as a non-intersex person use this term to put it in my bio (similarly how ppl put "white" in their bio)?

you can use the term perisex! it's more like the term cis. you wouldn't get mad at someone calling themselves cis, same with us and perisex. also thank you for the recognition, always makes me happy when i learn that post is still making rounds and being seen by others. <3

[intersexfairy]

I have a question what’s the difference between PAIS symptoms and Klinefelter Syndrome

Cause I am intersex and I know it sounds like it’s faking I am not, but I have feminine curves,slight breasts, low testosterone, no Adams apple and no facial hair growth and less body hair and I was assigned male at birth

super late on this but i dont know too much about PAIS or KS. i mean they come about differently, PAIS is due to androgen insensitivity whereas KS is from having XXY chromosomes.

edit; my info was wrong but this glossary may be helpful, especially if there's something else that may fit your presentation other than KS and PAIS.

[intersexfairy]

I was wondering if you could talk more about your transfem identity. I recently realized I'm "allowed" to be an afab trans woman and it was the biggest reprieve I felt from my anger and despair surrounding my body and gender for a long time.

It's hard to explain but, my transfemininity is about defying cis dyadic norms and allowing myself to be feminine in the body I'm in (or, trying to, at least). It's a fuck-you to the cispatriarchy and the people who hormonally reassigned me female. I don't need to change myself to be feminine (and sometimes a girl - but it's also about not needing to be a girl to be feminine). I can exist as I am and do gender however I want. It's gender and sex nonconformity.

It's also inner child healing, tbh. I was a very feminine and flamboyant child. I loved dressing up and playing model. But when puberty happened, between realizing I was a guy and the dysphoria on both sides (since it was a femininizing and masculinizing puberty), femininity felt increasingly off limits to me. I'd try to be feminine but, whenever I tried, I just felt. Wrong - not because I didn't like femininity but because, physically, I felt like a mistake.

So, masculinity has been my comfort for a long time. It's my safety blanket. I'm a butch, in practice. I do enjoy it, it does give me gender euphoria and pride (and its very cozy). But underneath it all, there's a femme, just waiting to be free again. I'm genderfluid and... sometimes I just want to look like a dainty pretty cis girl (while still being nonbinary and/or a man).

But I can't. Like, physically, I can't. Even when I leaned back into presenting femininely when they reassigned me, I couldn't shake my own androgyny... So ultimately, my transfemininity is a sense of peace where... I don't have to shake anything about me off. Femmes shouldn't have to change their bodies to exist.

[intersexfairy]

hi i am also intersex and both transmasc and transfemme. and that experience has felt very isolating. so seeing you Also being that ??????? and just having another person exist to the same degree i do feels. really good. thank you for existing lmaoo ♥️

omg yay!! thank you for existing too, i really don't see many other people who are both. we are so epic though. i love our transness and intersexness <3

[intersexfairy]

The puberty you described is usually called a “mixed puberty”

!!! thank you!! i like that term.

[intersexfairy]

pmdd anon here and thanks for the input! i would like to embrace the community by labelling myself as intersex, but at the same time i would hate to not be welcomed or considered valid as "actually" intersex, as well as the fact that i don't know if it would be considered overstepping just because you're okay with all these variations being linked together based on overlap/experience alone. i may just say questioning instead, but like i mentioned before, any sort of other clarification seems impossible to find, or i just haven't found it yet despite searching.

so i guess my next question would be, what should i call myself? an ally? a broader term for intersex than y'all already have? something in between? reproductively disabled? something else? i'm very lost so help is appreciated 💛

reproductively disabled seems like the most accurate to me. but sex nonconforming may work, too, as i imagine part of why you're drawn to the intersex label is having a different experience of something related to sex. i suppose from there you could also say you're reproductively nonconforming. and there's also the term extersex, for people who don't know if they're dyadic or intersex. i think the term sex queer also exists but im not sure. could make it exist anyway XD

[intersexfairy]

Not sure if anyone has mentioned but there is a (very recently coined) term for those who consider themselves intersex-adjacent or have experiences usually attributed to intersex people (especially due to transition/hrt/etc.) called Mesosex! It was made by @/ipsogender and it’s the top post on that blog.

I honestly wish it would become more widespread b/c I know a lot of people don’t find Altersex to be a comfortable term, and I do think it’s important for Intersex to retain it’s current definition under organizations like InterACT b/c of how few countries even recognize us or even define things like IGM/forced hormones (let alone ban them)

oh cool! i hadnt heard of it. here's a link to the post for those interested.